#love is real sure everything is created with love at some degree

[azure-cherie]

PAC : How are your guides / angels / God's / ancestors / working for you

Hellooo , how have you guys been ❤️?? Please choose the picture / pictures that resonate with you , know that this is a general reading and everything might not resonate, i hope a lot of does for you ❤️

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Pile 1 :

Dear pile 1 , what I receive is your guides/ spirits gods have been preparing you for a journey , they are throwing on opportunities for you to multitask , travel by air is significant for you guys for the coming months , things are going to spice up now , you will learn how to live , i believe lot of you here are young adults or just got into adulting , they are protecting and teaching you lovingly the ways of the world , they are teaching you how to handle responsibility in the real world .

They are taking in charge to work out some debatable situations so that you can practice your communication skills more , to argue with someone is a thing and to learn to keep your self respect and keep your point is another that's exactly what your guides have been planning on , they are making sure you can always find a common ground in a discussion always keeping your point with integrity

Practicality is something they are pushing you towards if you hear a voice while you study that you can do it it's them the lovely gods !!!! If you are motivated to plant seeds in your garden it's them the lovely gods!!!!! If you hear a voice while overspending that you are infact doing it's it's them the lovely gods !!!! They are keeping this check on you so that you can take valuable decisions in the future

They are lifting you of burdens and tell you to keep going in the journey, protecting you from a person who has been trying to lurk on your energy because they feel victimized from you but you aren't even doing anything to victimiz them , they just need to heal , you should keep going they are working really really hard to keep you on your toes , they are also motivating you to do more things that you love and are offering you a period of transformation, searching and rebirth with the death , fool and Ace of wands in order , it's such a time for you to grow and while the celestial beings give you infinite nourishment belive in yourself and that you are capable of big big thingssss

Ace of wands gives you a new life now it's the time to be courageous you know it all you just have to apply what you know already all the best to you love ;)

Charms : fish , bunny , tambourine, tree of life , sun , ice skater , heart , love letter , four leaved clover , cat , leaf ; letter - T , J ; number - 333 , 666 .

Songs : Brightside by The Lumineers, DNA by Kendrick Lamar , Vanilla Baby by Billie Marten , Fade into you by Mazzy star , Cold water by Justin Bieber .

Pile 2 :

Dear pile 2 , your guides are literally creating space for you , now it's the time to evaluate that what you are doing is really something that you want are you really into it ?! Are your decisions something you will not regret in the future or are you just acting on the spite of the moment , is it worth it ??? I think you guys are choosing a new degree or a new college or a new job in life , a lot of stuff is ending and you are on a cliffhanger whether to take what you already have or aim for more , you know the thing about working for the things we want isn't an act of greed you literally are hustling for it , go on love aim soooo bigggggg

Alright so what I see from the cards is that you might be taking a very big decision in your life thinking about love or thinking about a lover of yours , they are holding you back , I'm sorry to say that but it's the truth , eventually the surroundings and the people have to change , believe in the power of changes and let go of the old stuff there's literally so much more to look forward to , they are teaching you to look for the right thing at the right time , it's hard but this is an essential lesson , be good to yourself

They are making sure that This new phase in your life will bring you new love and new friends that would feel like a family, you will get what you have been longing for . That's so beautiful I'm so happy for you , spirit still wants you to take in less responsibility, one thing about you is you get too much into the lives of people you love some people like it while others don't appreciate it so in the next phase of your life you are required to just focus on the fun and be great with 2-3 people don't get too much into fights, be the mediator take things from one ear and throw it off the other or i believe that you literally will be crying, it's better to be on your own and care about less people, that doesn't mean the love or care you find newly in your life is fake it just means they are very different people with hard exteriors so it will take time to get close to them , take this slow alright.

You have lost only to gain babyyyyyy , whatever has left you has only left you space for so much more , i see more spiritual growth for you , gifts , if you are a reader , more clients , jobs , offers coming your way , all of it is because of your mindset and how beautiful it is , you will be so blessed I can feel it , they made sure that for all the struggles you get a gift and they are creating pathways for you to be in a leadership position you will soon be taking the responsibility and you will take it so well , you know a lot about the world and life in itself and now you are going to use it in such an amazing way !!!!

Charms : pentagram, flower , tennis racket , hammer , pearl , Christian cross ; letters : D, Z , M , P , N ; numbers : 555

Songs : $$$ by Daniela Andrade , Dynamite by BTS , Talk by Khalid , In too deep by Jacob Collier , idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie , Royals by Lorde .

Pile 3

Dear pile 3 , your guides are now teaching you the worth of emotional wealth , the financial wealth is something that you really value but there's some stuff that is literally not worth your time and energy, they are telling you to step in the aura of your authentic heart and how kind it is , how loving it is don't leave it behind , it could also mean that you are spending too much out of kindness , they are making sure you have enough for yourself, you earn to buy things to feel better , don't be guilty while you serve yourself, you truly ardently deserve all of this . They are making ways in which you can make more connections with people to do well in your professional life , if you're someone who's into a psychology profession , they are making ways for you to have more hold on your conversations while working with a client , your advice giving skills are improving so much.

I see them bringing in a new lover in your life , this person is very romantic and loving and caring and giving , i really wanna tell you that your prayers have been heard , if you have ever felt that you are not chosen first this is the time to be literally chosen , you are so so valued rn , this will get you out of sadness or depression, they could be the golden retriever type . I see that you are looking for something long term and they might be the right choice

If you have been looking to travel they are helping you in go for them , by creating pathways , they wanna tell you that a phase in your life has come to an end and how you are to go to a new one and this one will need a lot of courage because there will be malicious people but you will work so hard and take what is rightfully yours , your fire burns greater than their envy and you will rise win and conquer what is yours no matter how frustrating this might seem , you are meant for the greater things.

With the reading ending with the magician, you are gonna alchemise your life all over 360 and they are gonna support you so so so much , all the good things are for youuuu , if you're a tarot reader , you will gain more wisdom, intuition and the power to read others even better now , wish you the besttt !!!!!

Charms : key , stethoscope, leaf , sun , moon , love letter , witch , camel ; letters - S, Y , H , N , V ; numbers - 222, 666 , 555

Songs : Million dollar man by lana del rey, Whispers by Halsey , It's called freefall by Rainbow kitten surprise, Good looking by Suki Waterhouse, Through me by Hozier , Northern lights by Kennie .

Thank you so much for reading i hope you resonated, please let me know if you did it really helps me .

Have a great day/ night ❤️

#pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a picture #pac readings #pac tarot #tarot pac #pac reading #pac #tarot card reading #tarot reading #tarot cards

[hopplessilse]

Fetish l. Hello Mr. Miller

Teacher! Joel x f!reader 18+ explicit minors dni

Serie masterlist

Summary: Back in college, you realize that your favorite teacher, Mr. Miller, will be teaching you, what is more exciting than that.

Word count: 5.4k

Warnings: teacher-student, age gab (reader in her early 20's, joel in his late 40's) pet names (darlin), sexual fantasies, reader zoom out, pov. Joel, Pov. reader, flirtation, slow burn (not so slow), they are both two consenting adults

A/N: This series will be as real as possible, it won't be so fanciful, Mr. Miller is an idiot sometimes, If it's not your type of reading, don't read it. My first language is not English, any misspellings I apologize.

Joel knew you since he taught you last semester.

You fell in love with the way he taught, the way he explained, how smart he was, the passion with which he spoke. The respect with which he spoke to everyone, especially women.

You've heard a lot of rumors around the school, from different teachers and students. But one of them stood out the most in your head, as it was about your favorite teacher.

it was rumored that he had "something" with a student, you heard nothing but pure obscenities, your head refused to believe it.

Even the girl everyone was talking about didn't say anything. But you knew it might have been true because you watched her every time you had classes with him. As she looked at him during these, as at the end of each class she almost always stayed with him in the classroom.

She was always smiling and radiant, but one day she wasn't. She looked different, everything they knew about her before was gone.

She even ended up dropping out of college, many said it was because they had been discrovered, others said it was an agreement, others said she had gone into depression because of the breakup, but the truth is that no one knows, they are just assumptions.

This semester you wanted it to be different, to have different routines than what you were used to.

You were a good student, present in all the classes, you didn't have bad grades, you always tried to do everything on time, so as not to fall behind with your work. You weren't trying to be the best, but at least you were trying to make it out of the semester alive. You weren't a brainiac, but you always or almost always tried to be ready for the next classes, although you have to admit that sometimes you didn't care much about knowing the subject before.

Your degree was about philosophy in letters. You love to write, it helps you in some way to get out of or distract yourself from reality. You can create the world you want just by imagining it and capturing it on paper, on a screen, even in drawings. This semester you weren't so excited about the subjects, some teachers were good, others made you sleep because of the way they explained, boring.

Joel Miller was going to teach you the subject of philosophical anthropology. You were excited because that was the subject that Joel Miller was most passionate about. You knew very little about him as a person, you didn't know anything personal about his life, in fact no one knew anything. You were sure he wasn't married since he didn't wear any rings, not even on his ring finger.

Almost everything about him was a mystery, a mystery that you wanted to know, you wanted to dig into.

The first week of classes was suspended, given that they were fumigating the school, so the classes during that week were online, you hated classes like that since covid, happy on the one hand since you could sleep or be in your pajamas, but horrible because you didn't pay attention, you didn't learn anything.

And worst of all, you weren't going to be able to see Professor Miller in person.

Your schedules this semester were varied, some classes were in the morning and others in the afternoon/evening. With professor Miller you had 2 different schedules, one in the morning on Wednesday and another in the evening on Friday.

But unfortunately you didn't have classes with him on Wednesday due to a personal situation. But today was Friday afternoon, and you'd have classes with him.

You were at your desk, dressed in a beautiful dark green long-sleeved T-shirt, the fabric was soft and thin, the collar was U-shaped, accentuating your collarbones and neck. Around your neck hung a heart-shaped locket with your initial engraved on it, your mom had given it to you before you left for college.

You had a close relationship with your mom, after all you were similar in some ways, certain actions reminded you of her, but at the same time you were very different from each other.

She always told you to take care of the boys, the older men, she always gave you advice to make your life different from hers, she always reminded you to meet your goals, not to listen to other people, to follow the right path, to get married after 29, but with the right person.

You loved your mom, she was your best friend, she knew everything about you… But at the same time you kept little memories just for yourself.

The class was about to start, so that you could see yourself well on camera you only had the light on your desk. You took your lipstick to moisturize your lips, while you saw yourself on the screen of your laptop, a sound was present through the speakers of your computer, it was a message from the group leader with the link to the class.

You took a deep breath and clicked on the link. Before entering, turn off your microphone and camera as no one would have their cameras on.

When you entered you could see some boxes appear, the total number of students taking the class was 25, and yes, no one had their camera on.

You grabbed your folder and pens as more students joined the class, when a voice that you recognized quite well, thick and hoarse came through the speakers.

"Hi, good evening, I hope you are all well"

The image of Him was present, in a rectangle that you hated because it wasn't enough to see how beautiful and attractive he was.

"I'm going to need everyone to turn on their camera please, I know it's a nuisance but I need to know that everyone is alive"

You were more than happy to do it, when you turned it on you could tell that you weren't the only one who was. You'd say you're crazy, but out of all the images that appeared, you could only see 5 men in the class. crazy.

"There they are" He showed a beautiful smile Everyone smiled at the comment.

"From what I see on the list, many of you have already give you classes before, a few others are new," he paused as he picked up a pen, "I'll go through the roll call so keep an eye out for your names please."

Then he put on a pair of square black glasses, could it be sexier?

He started naming by surnames, while your classmates said present you were dying of nerves, whenever he called your last name you got nervous, but when he told you by your name, you didn't know how it could sound so beautiful coming out of his lips, he made it sound perfect.

You knew it was your turn, because your friend's last name came before yours in every class. Until you heard him call you

"present" you said with a shy smile, and he looked up, you knew he would remember you, you knew it perfectly.

A smile crept across his face as he watched you.

"I didn't know you'd take this course"

"Yes. Well, it's my favorite"

"I'm glad to hear that," he paused and sighed to look away from his list, "I hope it meets your expectations." You just nodded and he kept naming the rest of the class.

"Okay, welcome to the introduction to the subject of philosophical anthropology. I hope you're ready to learn," he took off his glasses and then a presentation appeared on the screen

"Someone knows what philosophical anthropology is"

They were silent for a moment while Professor Miller took the list, you knew he was going to take it as participation, you weren't a fan of that, last semester he made you participate so he could raise your points in the subject.

"Someone…"

You decided to take sides and encourage yourself to do it, in the end you knew little about the subject, and it was the first time you took the class, it didn't matter that you didn't know much.

"Me" your voice was present on everyone's speakers. Miller raised his head at your voice, his face reflecting surprise, and a smile appeared on his lips.

"Go ahead"

"It is a science that focuses on the study of the human being, it is responsible for studying the problems that man presents throughout life, from conception to the end of his existence"

You explained calmly as you felt your hands trembling and sweating under his gaze, you felt that your words would get stuck in your throat at any moment.

Professor Miller was about to speak when a female voice interrupted him.

"In fact, the term can be understood in several ways, it does not only represent one thing, it represents several philosophical studies and not only of the human being"

That damn bitch

You weren't a fan of hers, you knew why she was in that class, and it wasn't because she liked the subject, but because she liked the teacher.

"That's right, they're both right" he moved his eyes looking at the image of both "it's a very big word that encompasses different meanings, in a few words philosophical anthropology studies the conditions of possibility of the human phenomenon"

"The object of study is very varied since it has several objects or topics of study, which may not have coherence but are united in a profound way. It studies topics related to the origin of life, the violence that occurs in individuals, the feeling of love, the existence or not of God, animals, the stars such as the moon and the sun, creation, among others. It studies man or the human being within the universe and how it can help the world develop. Civilized man and those who belong to mythical beliefs stand out among the objects of study because they make an analysis of humanity, giving importance to the theory of creation."

As he explained you were so enraptured with him, that you forgot for a moment that you were on his screen, he could see you on the other side. You shook your head trying to concentrate and watched as he let out a small laugh.

God is watching me

You tried to suppress a scream, honestly you could have been worse but you knew how to control the situation. You were still paying attention when your cell phone that was next to you on the desk vibrated, you picked it up and saw your friend's name on the screen, it was a message from her.

Shit, I'm crazy or he'll laugh at you

He did it, didn't he? I'm not crazy haha

Woman, I swear, he's been paying attention to you, he was even surprised that you participated

i know

"I hope it meets your expectations" for God's sake

You just laughed, covering your mouth with your hand.

The class continued with participations, talks, brainstorms, and Professor Miller being attentive as always. At the end of the day they took only half an hour and concluded with the class. Professor Miller said goodbye to everyone with that smile that made you fantasize every time you saw her.

Yes, he had improved during the holidays, it's not like a lot of time had passed but something in him looked better, every time you looked at him you couldn't help but think that it would go through his head every time he saw a cute girl at university… Did he consider you a pretty girl?

You couldn't help but think that.

Has that ever crossed his mind? Or I'm crazy to think he'd think that

There were a lot of unanswered questions floating around in your head, you knew you needed to stop a little bit, you didn't need to be obsessed with it like last semester, dying of nerves every time he talked to you or looked at you, every time he made you participate, when you exposed and he looked at you and listened attentively, it didn't have to be the same, you wanted to enjoy the class without feeling nervous every time you participated, you wanted to excel in this class, who knows, you might be their new favorite student.

You'd be lying if you didn't want a benefit… the only benefit you want is his attention on you, you would achieve it by being attentive to him, but he had to look for you first, you need to be a master of minds… In the most innocent way.

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You were walking straight to your building, it was a cloudy day, a cold that had been felt since the day before. It was the new beginning of the week, you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss school, because it was almost the only place you went out during the week, if it wasn't here you went to a coffee shop or bookstore, and no, we won't put labels on you, you weren't a nerd, or anything like that, you didn't read school books at least just if it was for research, all the books you had were of other genres.

Besides, you had missed the architecture of your school, the dampness that settled on the bricks due to the rain and cold. There were many trees around, others taller than others, there were very nice plants, benches that decorated the grass to take a break, study or eat.

A warm hug surrounded your body as you walked through the door of your building, even though the brick was cold, the facility stayed warm.

You had your headphones on, you liked to block out the sound of the hallways, you mentally prepared yourself for the classes you would have during the day, some more interactive and others… not so exciting. Your classroom was on the second floor and the stairs were around the corner from the teachers' offices. The teachers were always mainstays, you weren't going to deny that, whenever you arrived the offices were open, the teachers' room… full of these.

Just as you were in the hallway about to get to the offices, you saw Professor Miller come out of his office, he had some papers in his hands, his clothes were uff words would not be enough to describe how handsome he looked in shirt and tie, he closed the door of his office and when he looked up he saw you and smiled at you.

You saw how his lips moved, and with a confused face you took off your headphones, and the first thing you heard was his laughter as he shook his head.

"Sorry Mr. Miller" you said sadly smiling

"it's okay, I just said good morning" he kept that beautiful smile on his face as he placed the papers under his armpit.

"I'm surprised I don't see you with your cup of coffee," you said, pointing to his hand.

"Ha yes" he look at them and smile at you "I was just going to the teacher's room for one" you nodded as you both looked at each other

Normally you would talk if you had any doubts in class, but it was very rare that you saw him in the hallways, he was always in his office busy.

"Well, I should go to my class before they let me out," you laughed a little as you approached the stairs.

"Sure, I'm not taking up any more of your time, have a nice day"

"See you on Wednesday, Mr. Miller," you said in a friendly tone as you turned around and walked up the stairs, putting your headphones back on your head. He just turned to look at you as you disappeared around the stairs and just smiled and walked into the teacher's room.

The classes weren't as boring as you expected, the topics were interesting and you really paid attention to every word the teachers said, your schedule on Mondays was rushed until 1pm, you just stepped out when the rain took over the streets. Due to the weather you would go straight to your house, since you didn't have an umbrella and you knew that the rain would get worse as the hours went by. The good thing is that your friend had a car, and she would take you home to go over some topics.

And from thinking about Professor Miller so much, I think you manifested it a little bit, because after seeing him at the entrance this morning, you saw him when you went to the bathroom down the hallway talking to a professor, then at lunch, you saw him leave the building with his beautiful brown jacket and with some professors who you imagine having lunch. And right now in the parking lot… recharged in his car while smoking a cigarette.

There could be a much hotter scene than this?

You elbowed your friend who was next to you talking about an argument she had with a girl in her 8 o'clock class. At the moment of feeling your blow she turn to look at you with furrowed eyebrows and you only pointed with your eyes to who was a few meters away from you. She just smiled wickedly as she looked at you raising her eyebrows and you threatened her with your gaze before you could protest she was already approaching him as she greeted him in the process.

"Hi, Mr. Miller," your friend said animatedly as she stood in front of him while keeping a decent distance.

"Hello girls" he shook the ashes from his cigarette and they fell to the floor "time to go?" he looked at both of you with a smile

"that's right, after a bad day" your friend wrinkled her lips

"Why?" he sucked on his cigarette as smoke slowly rose from his lips.

"Well, my choice of teachers wasn't the best this semester"

"Isn't it?" by his tone they knew he had been offended

"You don't haha, you are a good teacher"

"I hope so, since you didn't participate in Friday's class" he said and he looked at you smiling and you returned the gesture

"well.. The truth is that I haven't researched so much on the subject, but I have her to help me," she said as she hugged you by the shoulders so you would get closer to them.

"She's a good one"

You just rolled your eyes because of the comment

"I know she's good, I saw her last semester, she just needs to be more participative" he said looking straight into your eyes with a serious countenance waiting for you to answer

"I will be" You looked at him in both eyes and he just nodded

"I hope so, you know I expect a lot from you, I don't want to be disappointed and see that you don't give it your all"

"I'll help her get out of her comfort zone" your friend said as she looked at you with a smile

He nodded as he tossed his cigarette on the floor and extinguished it with the toe of his shoe.

"Work on the task I leave, you'll be the first ones I ask," he said as he straightened up and for the first time that day you saw how strong he had become.

"We won't let you down"

"I hope not" he said as he walked in the opposite direction of you, "drive carefully"

"Have a nice day, Mr. Miller" your friend said screaming while you smiled embarrassed by her action. He just nodded, smiling.

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It was already Wednesday, you were looking forward to that day.

The day before you hadn't seen Professor Miller all morning, you were eager to see him, it was the only time in the day when you could see him. You arrived first thing in the morning, bringing coffee for your friend and yourself. You liked to be early to your classes, you didn't like to be late, anywhere in fact. Normally you were the first to arrive, and sometimes with 5 minutes to go there was still no one in the room, some were very unpunctual as well as some teachers, but Professor Miller was the most punctual person you knew.

You arrived at the classroom 10 minutes early, and as you imagined no one had arrived, you left the coffees in your place and when you were going to leave your things on the seat, the door to the classroom opened and Professor Miller peeked out behind it with his suitcase hanging from his shoulder, gave you a smile and spoke.

"Good day"

"Good day teacher"

"I came to let you know that the class will be held in room 13" sighed

"Oh the 13th? Isn't it too big for our group?" You frowned, taking the coffees in hand and walking straight to the door where he was.

"Yes it is, but apparently it's the only void, the seniors won't be there today" he moved so you could get out, and you started walking side by side towards the end of the hallway.

The walk was silent, some teachers passed by you and greeted Joel. He was taller than you by a lot, in sneakers you reached his shoulder, you were ridiculously small next to him, and that's why you started wearing high-heeled boots, not so high but at least they made you reach a little above his jaw. You felt that you were perceived as more mature, more at your age, because when you wore sneakers very few looked at you, that included him.

You felt more confident in boots, you felt more attractive even to yourself. As the years went by, you changed your style, you took out clothes that were very old, that you didn't use, that were no longer your style, and you replaced them with wide pants, long but cute skirts, short schoolgirl skirts, plaid skirts, t-shirts with a little cleavage, showing back, warmer or darker colors, You didn't like the color so much, and you felt like you changed the way everyone saw you, you looked more mature to some people, but you only cared about impressing 1.

Joel opened the room where the class would be, let you in first to which you thanked him in a low voice, you went to the places in the front row, you arranged your things while you saw Joel arrange his on the desk. Being the only two presences inside the room felt weird in a way, or for you it was, you felt nervous, you tried not to feel that way but it was impossible to see him in profile, you were noticing new things, his beard was grayer in some areas.

You noticed that his chest was more muscular as well as his back, it was already wide, when he was serious his jaw looked strong, the muscles of his neck were marked, he was so sensual, you thought it impossible that at some point in your life you would like a teacher, you would never have thought that someone twice your age would have you like that.

His hands were very big, almost the size of a tablet, if he put them on your face it would cover the whole face, the veins were slightly marked along his arms, even if at that moment you couldn't see them, you knew they were there, under that tanned skin, you loved how those dress pants fit his thighs, as the belt marked the beginning of his hips, and when he was in profile you couldn't help but look at his crotch, as a bulge was present, effortlessly. And because of that, you knew he was well-endowed.

You were still watching him sitting from your seat, when his voice took you out of your thoughts

"Why do you always arrive so early?" He looked at you with a smile that made his eyes small

"Mmh because I don't like to be unpunctual" he smiled at you in the same way

"I see" while telling you that and maintaining eye contact he took a book from his portfolio, look at it and walk towards you with his eyes on it.

Standing in front of you, he look at you and hold out the book.

"What is this?" You took it in your hand, rubbing your fingers with his.

"It helped me a lot when I was in college, it helped me understand a lot of topics, some of which we will see in class," he said while watching you study the cover of the book.

"And why do you give this to me?" You looked him in the eyes confused

"because I know how much you like to read, and I know that you love to read about these topics, apart from that it will help you to study some topics before we see them in class, and you are a good student, I want you to understand the potential you have and you can be more confident when you participate" he looked you in the eyes with a look that you never seen before, his eyes looked so pure, his voice went down 2 tones making his voice sound hoarse but a the same time softer.

You stood silently looking at it, saw the book in your hands and looked back at him.

"how do you remember I like reading about this?"

"Oh, last semester you mentioned it, the first day" he said returning to the desk

"do you remember everything we tell you?" you sounded confused and with a bit of amusement in your voice

"only the important things" He squinted at you with a squinting smile as he sat in the chair behind the desk.

you just looked at the book to avoid his gaze, you could feel your cheeks burning from the comment and Joel…he turned his gaze away from his laptop screen to look at you and cover his smile with the palm of his hand as he saw you blushing as you looked at the book.

Did he want to tell you that what you said was important? Did he want to make you feel important? Were you important to him? That's why he gave you the book?

Lots of damn questions and no answers, but the nerves were impossible to hide, you felt his gaze leave the screen to see you, you only looked at your research notes, you felt that time passed slowly, and no one came, you crossed your legs with nerves as you moved them, your hands were cold.

God why you're a damn nervous girl, focus, can't know that he has that effect on you.

The classroom was completely silent, only the keys of his laptop were the only ones present, and you were sure that your breathing was heard, when you saw that the door opened and a couple of students entered waving at Joel. Among them was your friend, you released all the air you had holding in your lungs and smiled nervously at her as she walked up to you and sat down next to you.

"Why did it take you so long?" you scolded her quietly

"I'm sorry, I ran into Brat in the hallway," she said, blushing as she touched your hands "Why are your hands so cold?" His voice sounded a little louder in the room, drawing Joel's gaze to you

"It's cold," you removed your hand abruptly as you evaded his gaze. She looked at Joel, he looked away and turned it to his papers and then at you

"Were you two alone?"

you didn't say anything

"That's what happens to you for being too punctual" she said mockingly, you looked at her offended

The class passed quickly, you were grateful because every time he explained you could notice that his gaze returned to you every second, no matter how much you loved it and begged him to see you, the nerves consumed you, you didn't participate for the same reason, it was too much pressure that you were putting on yourself, your head was playing you wrong this time. At the end you wanted to run out of the room, you knew that in the next class he would reproach you but today you couldn't deal with it, no no.

But you still had to hand over the research that left off homework. You followed your friend from behind, got to the desk, left your work on top of the others, but your friend waited for him to finish talking to the girl who had "corrected" you last class.

Ugh radiates so much hypocrisy.

"I put a lot of effort into the work, in the end I added extra information that I read in a book, it was very stimulating what you left us Professor Miller" she said with a flirtatious smile as she leaned back at the desk

"I'm glad it has helped you, being a new student you should know that I leave a lot of research and essays but from your point of view, I like to know what you think about each topic we touch on in class" Joel replied while taking the essays in hand and putting them in his portfolio.

"Oh I know, you'll get a lot out of me professor Miller"

Wow, yes it sounded blatant

Joel only nodded half-smiling, the girl said goodbye and your friend spoke.

"Mr. Miller my essay itself doesn't have much information" Joel cocked his head crossing his arms "I know you said 3 to 4 pages but I didn't get that much information that was different from the others" she smiled falsely

"Uh uh and your own words? Because I guess not everything that comes is from Internet pages, is it?" he said with an interrogative look and a raised eyebrow

"Am no, it's not"

Lie, you remember perfectly 1 day before what she told you.

FLASHBACK

"He clearly said that you could only put little information from the internet and justify it with our words, you can't copy everything without giving credit to its authors" you told her while typing on your laptop

"Shut up, he won't notice, besides the AI will help me" she smiled while the artificial intelligence did its work

"you forget that he does read the works, He's going to notice"

"He's your boyfriend, if he notices you give him some kisses and that's it"

"Hey!" you threw a pillow at her

end of the flashback

"Okay, I'll read it and we'll see," he picked up the essay and put it in his briefcase.

"Thank you teacher"

you said goodbye to him and before leaving you turned to look at him and obviously, he was already looking at you, he just smiled at you and turned his gaze away from you.

Am I crazy or is he paying more attention to me?

The energy felt different being with him, it felt on both sides, but it was very easy for you to get excited and misimitate things, to see things in a different way than the other person does. He was your teacher and you didn't want to think that you had a chance, even if your friend made fun of you, she still noticed how his attention towards you had changed, but he had always been nice to you, he always encouraged you, but for some reason he was different this time.

Joel´s pov

When she left the classroom, he could feel his heart beating normally again.

What stupidity are you doing joel?!

The only thing he needed was to feel that way, he couldn't, he knew it was wrong to do it, she was a student, he genuinely wanted to help her excel, he knew that she had several interests within the area of philosophy, he wanted her to have all the possibilities for her to be motivated.

He wanted to teach her everything he knew, he wanted her to learn from him, she was so smart that it was hard for him to see how she didn't know that, how she racked her brain last semester by pushing her brain so hard into a way of learning that wasn't suitable for her.

He was willing to help her understand in every way possible to make it easy for her this time. But I'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know more about her… About who she really was, to know why she is so passionate about philosophy, to know if she was the pretty, polite girl that all the teachers talk about. But one thing he did know, she was the prettiest girl his eyes had seen in a while.

#joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou #fanfic #smut #joel x f!reader #joel x female reader #x reader #joel x reader #joel x you #teacher x student #hot teacher #teacher crush #teacher attachment #teacher! joel

[leohamatoblog]

As a Dad: Raph Edition

Authoritative

• we can all agree that as burly and as hard headed and as gruff and as *violent* as this man can be, this man adores kids

• yes as he matures he becomes more level headed but nothin knocked his head on straighter than having children (again biologically by a miracle or adoption)

• screw the books, he's gonna watch movies and wing it

• very patient for the 0-8 month stage with the crying and getting up at ungodly hours because hey, not the kids fault they can't talk

• loves naptime and tummy time the most because he loves baby noises...and yes, they do carry on a conversation

• definitely tries to get the kids to walk and talk as early as possible because they "need to learn quick to keep up with me"

• very hands on dad with bathtime, bedtime, and feeding time. he can't operate a diaper to save his life

• once the kid is walking and able to say some words, oh this man becomes prideful real fast

• ages 2-7 were definitely something else because he learned quickly silence was no bueno

• not a yeller but his voice does elevate to some degree, especially if his kids back talk

• that being said, while he doesn't have schedules for the kids (he leaves that to his partner), they do have to have some sort of a routine to keep them in line

• not a big stickler for bad grades but like leo, if the kids are genuinely trying their best and still get a C, he's fine with it...they better have a good reason for below a C tho

• his father was strict but still allowed him to be a kid, so he does the same thing with his own

• thus comes the 13-17 ages. oh boy.

• tries to channel his kids anger into ninjitsu, which works, but then it very quickly back fired cause now the kids are trying to kill each other

• his temper is definitely inherited by his kids and now he knows how his father felt, so he often goes to him for advice

• now his kids have to clean the house top to bottom and they can't go out for a week when they act up

• doesn't believe in physical punishments, rather he prefers to make the kids do things he doesn't like to do (example, clean).

• he teaches his kids how to be polite and respectful, especially around splinter

• don't let him anywhere near their homework.

• always asks the kids what they're up to and stays very involved with everything they do

• like leo, he's nonbiased when it comes to gender, but he's secretly dad girl coded

• has no problem getting on the floor and playing with his kids

• he definitely calls it babysitting

• he's the more fun parent but the kids also know not to give him attitude

• little girl wants dad to be a princess for halloween? no problem

• son wants dad to teach him how to kill a man? no problem

• will not remember school schedules...like at all

• makes sure his kids know how to sew/knit

• makes sure his kids know how to cook

• creates a space where they can always talk to him about anything

• obviously kids make mistakes, he just doesn't want them trying to lie or cover it up. honesty is key

• number one fan of the kids sports teams and never misses an event from the shadows

• definitely the parent that gets mad at the coaches

• calls the kids nicknames based on their height or distinct personality trait

• dad yawns and dad sneezes

• if his kid has friends, he needs to know everything about them for...science reasons

• definitely the "well i guess you wont do that again, will you?" dad

• he totally tells his kids their limb needs cut off if it's bleeding

#rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt ask blog #tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raphael #ask blog #tmnt 2003 #tmnt headcanons #tmnt imagine

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Shonweak

This is an unusual one in terms of whether people have preconceptions on what it looks like. On one hand, the medieval interpretation of this animal is widespread and generally known, at least in comparison to other bestiary material -- shows up in modern fantasy and everything -- so it's possible that people familiar with medieval stuff recognized it on sight and had to work against those preconceptions. On the other hand, the medieval interpretation is pretty much completely divorced from reality, so anyone coming at it from a background of Actually Knowing Animals rather than one of Knowing Medieval Nonsense is likely going to be baffled.

Anyway, as usual, if you're confused by what I'm talking about, please refer to https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. And you can find the entry that artists are working from here:

Art below the cut, roughly chronological, &c.

@silverhart-makes-art (link here) says that they wanted to draw a Weird Little Creature, and... mission accomplished, that creature sure can Weird and Little. I kind of love it; it's got that vibe that makes something simultaneously cute and kind of unsettling. The linked post goes into some detail about design decisions and the real-world animals they used for inspiration. Something I think is particularly clever is how they not only incorporated the carapace from the beetle they were inspired by, but they also made the profile of the head fit with that, so that it also looks kind of beetle-like despite being obviously mammalian.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) also had Beetle Thoughts and decided to just run with them, creating an impressively-realistic-looking drawing of a beetle. (I think I'm just a sucker for black-and-white naturalist-style art, because lately I keep looking at CheapSweets's work and going "ooh, look at the stippling and everything". Plus I'm perennially impressed that they do this with a fountain pen.) There's some detailed discussion in the linked post about what specific beetles this design takes inspiration from, as well as how they envision this animal functioning in general, and that's really interesting, so I recommend checking it out. (Did you know there was a beetle known as the "diabolical ironclad beetle"? Delightful.) Additionally, they note that we should imagine bright warning colors, but they didn't have time to add them. Also, thank you CheapSweets for providing alt text.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) also notes that this critter would have bright warning colors if she'd had time to color it. Apparently this design is inspired by poison-type Pokemon, which I can definitely see: that's a credible Pokemon design. It's all gloopy for putting out fires. I find it interesting that there's a degree of consensus on this entry being interpreted in this way -- replies on the original post expressed that That Is A Pokemon, and seemingly SweetlyFez agrees. I like the side-eye it's giving, too. (And thank you for including alt text.)

@pomrania (link to post here) was the one to label this a Pokemon in the replies, and we can see that they've run with that a bit, as this is also a credible Pokemon design. It's a little bit cat, a little bit dragon, and a little bit liquid so it can put out fire. I like that it looks so pleased with itself while causing problems.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has decided that the Shonweak is an armadillo. This illustration shows some very nice Stylized Trees, I must say, and I particularly like the visual effect showing that the Shonweaks are poisoning the one on the left. (Coolest-Capybara also makes note of the Pokemon thing.) For an explanation of why they are armadillos, please see the linked post.

@strixcattus (link to post here) has drawn a very charming little creature. I love the puffed-up cheeks & throat sac, and the effect that has on its facial expression. If you check out the linked post for a proper description of this beast, you'll find it's quite interesting -- I particularly like the idea that it spits poison by filling its throat sac with water and then allowing its natural poison to seep into that water. I think that's pretty clever.

Now, to the Aberdeen Bestiary, where the illustrator has done a Scene that takes up most of the page:

That's a heck of a thing, right? I really like it, to be honest. We've got the cool Stylized Tree with critters wrapping around the branches, we've got the ones in the fire doing kind of a flame-like pose, and of course we have a dead guy at the bottom. The last of these just strikes me as funny for some reason.

Anyway, as I think multiple people guessed, this is the salamander.

No, the illustrator had apparently never seen one, so they've drawn snakes instead, probably because of the association with poison.

Anyway, I was surprised to learn (just now actually) that salamanders really are quite poisonous. I have no idea whether they can poison food and water in the way that the author describes -- that seems a bit extreme -- but I don't think I know enough to rule it out.

The fire thing... well, that's definitely not the case. I'm not really sure where that came from. I've heard the explanation that people in the past would occasionally see salamanders crawling out of fires, and thus form the idea that they were fireproof, unaware of the fact that the salamanders were just hiding in their firewood and are fleeing the fire as a result of being Definitely Not Fireproof. I don't know how credible that is, though.

This fire association may have been amplified by... well, look at this:

That's Salamandra salamandra, aka the fire salamander. It's pretty common and widespread in Europe, and is also among the largest salamanders on the continent, so it's reasonable to think this is the one that pre-modern Europeans would have in mind. And you know, that coloring definitely gives the impression of "this is a Fire Guy". If one were to see this salamander crawling out of a fire (worth noting that the Wikipedia article does say they like to hide under fallen wood, so maybe that idea tracks), and knew nothing about zoology, you could see how they might think "yes, that looks like something that was supposed to be in there."

#maniculum bestiaryposting #shonweak

[tomurderornottomurder]

any other way; eddie munson

pair. eddie munson x ftm reader

summ. strangers to friends to lovers w/ eddie munson n ftm reader.

gen. fluff mostly, angst

tw. swearing, dated language regarding lgbt topics (it's not much), reader refers to self as a woman once, internalized transphobia, implied homophobia, reader implied to be stealth

wc. 2.5k

note. i love this greasy little freak

- if you're not already into the music he's into, he will introduce you to it. if you are though he's like "you're so cool, babe." even before you start dating

- you're both big ol nerds but while you're quiet he's quite the loud mouth

- aka he, the extrovert, adopts you, the introvert, kind of

- he sees you sitting alone at lunch and practically swoops you up. he comes over and introduces himself with the offer of his hand before coming to your side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. he invites you over to his table before leading you over.

- all the hellfire kids are super welcoming and though you're quiet, they don't mind. they joke around with you like you've always been one of them :')

- plus eddie has you sit by him to check on you

- adding on to that, after you guys are more comfortable he touches you a lot like squeezing your shoulder and stuff to make sure you're good and just cause he needs to touch you all the time

- very touchy feely dude

- anyway back to the plot ish,, he really wants you to join hellfire. he brings it up whenever he can. he really likes you and he loves DnD so naturally he wants his fav person to like his favorite thing

- when u finally give in he's so happy!! like dancing around n shit like he was when chrissy recognized him :)) god he's so cute

- he'll even twirl u around n shit he's fucking adorable

- so, now that he's convinced you, you guys meet after school to fill out character sheets, come up with ur character, and for him to shamelessly flirt (not that he doesn't do that all the time already)

- dude is so fucking hyped and he really enjoys explaining everything to you, he gets a real kick out of it

- every question you have is answered and in probably more detail than you need tbh

- honestly, besides him just being fixated on DnD, he wants to spend more time with you so he goes on and on

- then you're late and he's like you wanna ride back? 👀

- you take him up on his offer and he tries not to be too obvious about it but he plays his favorite songs and is watching you to gauge your reaction

- man nearly crashes but he's good (?) at being distracted while driving

- you make it home in one piece and eddie bids you farewell, watching you to make sure you get inside safe before driving back the lonely drive to his house

- this man loves to shred on his guitar for you, does it to impress you too. it's really cute, he'll get all hyped up and be on his knees, leaning back as he does a solo or honestly just to make you laugh

- your laugh is his favorite thing in the world <3

- he LOVES making you laugh, man. he will go out of his way to get you to laugh because everyone at school already thinks he's a freak so what's the harm? (especially if it charms you)

- dude is a sucker for your approval which isn't like him when it comes to anyone else

- he's always trying to learn more about you, especially since you're quiet

- randomly asks about your interests all the time

- okay so you've joined hellfire, right? and have spent some time with eddie and on your own creating your character and familiarizing yourself with everything

- well guess what happens now,, you get the hellfire t-shirt!!!

- it does something to eddie everytime he sees you wearing it 👀

- he's a little upset though that you usually wear layers over it :( but when you see him on a DnD night as you walk into school or something, you'll pull up the rest of your layers to show it to him and he just cheeses so hard

- god, if you've never seen heart eyes irl before when you do that you have

- also he notices how you're always dressed in layers even if it's ninety degrees but he just attributes it to keeping with your style cause he'll do the same

- once while hanging out with him after hellfire, he notices you're actually talking and kind of a lot or at least more than usual

- it clicks in his head after about the third time you do this alone with him, that you're comfortable with him

- man literally almost weeps

- one time you're actually joking around with him and tell him he has stubby fingers. he looks so shocked and can't even come up with a comeback. he enjoys this side of you.

- also makes him wonder why you'd even notice that 👀 but he never says anything

- okay so whether you smoke or not he'll invite you to smoke sessions but also!! will not pressure you to go if you don't wanna :)

- "it's cool, man. you don't wanna smoke, you don't wanna smoke." he shrugs nonchalantly.

- he runs into you a lot while you're out walking your dog. eddie loves animals but he's also a bit terrified of them. so when your dog barks at him he's like it's not gonna kill me, right?

- you laugh at him and introduce him to your dog and his rocker-boy attitude instantly melts away. he's talking in a high pitch baby voice and everything.

- he often joins you on your walks. you talk about everything and nothing. he also notices that you're not dressed in so many layers and you're constantly fidgeting with your shirt.

- you two start talking a lot and hanging out a whole lot. after some time, you guys just kinda get together. like it literally just happens

- but a couple weeks in it hits you that you still haven't told him yet and it wasn't that you didn't want to, no, it's just so fucking hard. you don't wanna lose eddie.

- you try to ignore it for a while n pretend you're cis and everything is fine but it's not and eddie can tell. he doesn't know how to broach the subject and hopes you'll bring it up first

- when you do get the courage up to tell him, he comes home to find you sitting anxiously on his couch. you ask him to talk and he of course says yes.

- "eddie, please remember i love you,"

- it sounds like you're going to break up with him and eddie starts to feel sick.

- "so please," you practically beg as you look at him with soft eyes, "don't hate me after i tell you this."

- eddie can't stop the churning in his stomach, are you really about to break up with him?

- "i'm a transsexual."

- well that's not what he was expecting to hear

- "i was born a woman but i'm a man. and i love you, eddie," you feel like you have to add that in since you're dealing such a big blow. "i hope this doesn't change things between us," you continue on shakily, playing with your hands as well. "i still wanna be with you but i thought you should know." you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment expecting him to maybe hit you or something but all that hits you are his words

- "i love you, too, y/n, no matter what."

- that's like a jolt of electricity to your heart. you jump up and wrap your arms around eddie in a tight hug, head resting against his chest, and eyes squeezed closed. tears spill silently as you hold onto eddie for dear life.

- eddie wraps his arms back around you and kisses your head. "i could never hate you, sweetheart. never," he finalizes with another kiss to the top of your head.

- it's the 80s and trans ppl especially ftm ppl aren't really known about or are grouped together with gay ppl so you'll have to explain a bit further to eddie but he's very understanding and supportive

- (i personally, headcanon him as trans but anyway)

- he becomes a bit more gentle with you after this, not because you're trans or anything he just doesn't want to make you uncomfortable :')

- much like steve with robin, he keeps the fact that you're trans to himself (as he should). he knows it's your right to tell people and not his, plus he would never want to risk your safety.

- he's always careful with you at school and in public because as much as he likes showing you off, he wants to keep you safe. but if you're alright with it, he's practically got you hanging off his arm

- y'all are like the power couple of hellfire lmao and they're equally annoyed and supportive :) they'll fake gag when you kiss n shit but they're happy for y'all

- you two mainly hang out at eddie's trailer, random nature trails, or just out in the woods. besides just being with each other, y'all's favorite thing to do is bug steve n robin at family video. robin loves u two but also is constantly like i hate you guys lol

- oh my god, remember how i said he's touchy feely?? dude LOVES to cuddle. he lives for it.

- your head on his chest while he combs his fingers through your hair? yes, please!

- he loves it when you guys just hold each other, laying in his bed n watching whatever's on tv or a horror flick robin or steve recommended. he's also a little spoon big time idc what anyone says, man loves to be held but spooning isn't his main thing

- his favorite is when you lay on him whether it's your whole body or just your head on his chest or in his lap

- you have got to play with his hair while you're cuddling, laying, or sleeping together. honestly, even if you're just sitting around, any time really. with your hands in his hair, he's putty in your hands. literally moaned one time when you did it, hair pulling kink much?

- another perk of being eddie's bf is coming along to his shows. his bandmates love you but they always make fun of eddie when he's being all love dovey with u. several of them ask why the hell you're with eddie n will jokingly flirt and are met with smacks to the shoulder by eddie but it's all in good fun

- mmm eddie loves holding your hand. at first he's kinda self conscious cause he gets sweaty hands around you cause he gets nervous n shit but at a certain point, he doesn't care and he knows you don't either

- please hug this man

- he understands that you don't always want to with your chest and all but god when you do? he's in heaven. he loves bear hugs, squeeze him til he's paste and he'll be satisfied

- man is touch starved that's why he savors it so much and just like you, he'll be randomly averse to touch. you guys are great at checking in with each other about it (steve thinks it's so cute, he saw y'all doing it once outside family video then robin caught him being soft about it and she hasn't stopped teasing him since)

- when your dysphoria hits hard, eddie's  almost always on top of it. he knows you well and you two are harmoniously connected, so he's very aware of your discomfort. still there are times where you've got to tell him because he won't realize

- mans will wrap you up in blankets to make you comfortable and also because he loves being wrapped in blankets.

- if you're not already in his clothes - he's noticed it's something you do when dysphoric- he'll go through his drawers asking u which u want to wear and literally dresses you himself unless you're uncomfortable. but it's nice to have someone take care of you so you don't have to think about it :')

- if you're okay with it, he'll cuddle you and this is like the one time he's big spoon lol. or he'll have you face him so you can bury your face against him and he runs his hands through your hair and to kiss your head :'))

- dude, whatever and i mean anything that you need, eddie's gonna get it for you. heat pack? no problem. obscene amount of your favorite snack? he's on it! playing that song you love that he hates? only for you, baby ;)

- such a fucking dad. very attentive n great at bad jokes.

- may not be able to cook the greatest but he will do his very best for you, results are mixed.

- back to clothes sharing. he loves sharing clothes!! literally one of his love languages (cough cough, giving his vest to steve, cough cough). he adores you in his clothes and he finds it funny when he catches you taking his clothes. like he'll be strolling into his room and you look like a raccoon in trash before you stand frozen with an armful of clothes

- "what're you doing?" he asks playfully.

- "nothing," you respond before poorly hiding the clothes behind yourself.

- he just laughs and walks over to give you a kiss.

- don't think you're exempt from him stealing your clothes cause he will. and honestly you feel like he pulls them off better than you.

- at some point, you don't know which clothes are yours or his and neither does he

- omg he'll let you wear his rings and stuff and he LOVES it. he's smiling so big like a lovesick teen :))

- also if some of the rings are too big he's gonna laugh at you hehe or if they're too small and get stuck lol

- one day you two are just lying around on his bed. you're both quiet, doing your own things but together. he strums on his guitar lazily while you absentmindedly sew a patch onto the knee of a pair of his jeans which allows your mind to wander. your dog also lies with you two at the foot of eddie's bed.

- your thoughts wander from yourself to eddie and how he sees you and how he's with you. "hey, eddie," you look over at him.

- he turns and looks at you lazily but full of love. he can't help smiling just looking at you. "need somethin', sweetheart?"

- "just wondering," you look at him quickly before looking down at your hands. "why're you with me, ed?"

- he looks genuinely surprised you'd ever ask him that. he even chuckles out of disbelief, "what?" he looks you straight in the eye as he leans over a little bit. "why wouldn't i wanna be with you?" he takes your hands, squeezing them.

- you shrug, pouting your lip, and tears pricking your eyes. "i don't know. just maybe if i was cis-"

- "hey," he says sternly, squeezing your hands again to bring you back to him. "i can't imagine you any other way. and i wouldn't want to."

#murder writes #headcanons #eddie munson x ftm reader #eddie munson x trans reader #eddie munson x transman reader #eddie munson x transmasc reader #eddie munson x m!reader #eddie munson x m reader #eddie munson x male!reader #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson x ftm!reader #i love u eddie munson

[zsakuva]

saku! i have two questions:)

i’m p sure mentioned your favorite book was lotr, but do you have any other recommendations? oh or maybe an anime/manga you really like? anything is fine hehe

my second one is, what inspires you to write? i’m sure it’s something you’ve been doing for a long time, but in general, it seems like whether it’s through your videos or your degree, you’re always trying to tell some sort of story? it’s amazing to me how you treat your characters as real people, if that makes sense? it’s almost like you’ve met them and they’re not just words on paper. i know a couple of artists treat their characters/work as such, but i’ve never really seen it like i have with you. i’m just a bit curious about what exactly makes you tick? please ignore this ask if it’s too personal haha i’m just genuinely interested:)

have a good day with many crumpets, tea, and cat cuddles!!!!

My favourite film trilogy is LotR, but I don't read! I'm in the middle of reading The Fellowship of the Ring, but reading makes me tired so I seldom do it! Unfortunately, that means I can't recommend any books or manga, and I haven't watched anime in a long time either~

Everything inspires me to write! It's a way of escapism for me, and for as long as I can remember, I've loved creating fictional stories. Characters themselves are the vessels in which the story is being told, and they drive everything. There is so much in a life that occurs which defines one's sense of self, and it's ever-changing. I love exploring internal conflicts, the tug-of-war over nature vs nurture, and the long-lasting effects many of us carry.

Almost all of the characters I've made have attributes of someone I know, a fictional person, or myself. It's also through this medium where I can test decisions some people might make in intense situations. A prime example would be Isaac Rhoades, a man traumatised by a past that dictates his every decision until he learns how to loosen the reins--if only by a little. The listener challenges his beliefs while also providing him a way to confront what it means to love, to trust, and to hope.

Another would be Alex (a taboo name for many of you, I know haha). The events of his past fuel his insecurities of the present, and that powers his decisions for the future. A lot of my characters act this way because I believe many of us are the same. His listener is no different. One has dealt with their trauma in one way, the other in another way, and then they clash. Sometimes, it's easy to put the pieces together, but not always. And that's why I like to base actions on character because humans themselves are contradictive, stubborn, and in many cases, illogical.

Then, there are other characters who I use to explore certain themes, such as Niall. His story is heart-breaking yet relatable; I wanted to delve more into his self-perception which was crafted by bullying and homophobia, and how he could possibly shift towards a positive direction.

Audio roleplays are great for my creativity, but they only scratch the surface in terms of how I would normally develop characters and their potential arcs. Novel formats are more my forte, but I do enjoy the platform that I have to fan the flame of angst, fluff, and everything in between!

#audio roleplay #boyfriend audios #sakuverse #zsakuva #isaac rhoades

[yan-san-yan]

Soo as im writing this au I created, I made some interesting discoveries a while back.

Chloe and Marinette are two sides of the same coin. That's something that if very apparent in the show. The reason why Chloe hates Marinette so much is because she has everything she ever wanted. Love and affection from her parents. Real friends even. They are both natural born leaders, assertive, and likes to be in control. But the way these same traits are portraied/used are the opposite. One is selfless, one is of self interest (i dont want to say selfish because seeking parental love is not selfish, for the other stuff, well that is a different topic).

Luka and Adrien are too.

So Luka being the only male figure and the pillar of the Couffaine family, the anchor that keeps them together has forced him to grow up too fast and take on the role of an adult, a guardian figure. The responsible one who pays the bills, the threapists etc. He has the tools to face most problems with patience and wisdom. But he pushes his feelings aside in favor of others. Personally I think with all this responsibility and the person he had to be shaped into due to life, his true self is lost in the different roles he needs play/is expected of him. It makes me wonder which side of luka is the true one? But he is also aware of this, he settles on the fact that it doesn't matter because each side of him is still a part of him and doesn't make him less himself. But I do think it's a thought he often returns to. Who is he? What does he want? And he struggles with allowing himself to indulge in self-interests. And what is frightening is that on the surface he looks like he is normal, that he is fine, that he thinks for himself, that he is pursuing his dreams, but is he really? How many times has he abandoned those aspirations and goals for his friends and family? There is more to say about him but to keep it short he has an incredible high EQ, and being an empath makes him both wise but vulnerable.

Adrien on the other hand had the opposite problem. Much like Luka, Adrien has a good judge in charachter, but he lacks the tools, the experience due to his abusive and controlling upbringing. He lacks the equipments that comes with what life throws at you so he has now knowledge of how to deal with situations that others have an advantage. He only knows the perfect life his father has paved from him and how to survive high society by remaining silent and keep a smile plastered on his face. But he has immense patient and control over his feelings, despite his flaws, again similair to Luka. I believe that the power of destruction often gets overshadowed by ladybugs powers. Typically destruction is a power we see villains have but adrien has never gone around and cataclyst things in anger. Sure he has his short comings and gets angry at times again similar to Luka, adrien is patient (lila and chloe even if he doesnt agree with them and is uncomfortable aroubd them, he just knows that outing them wont solve anything, which is correct to a degree but he doesnt know any other option! Expecially as Adrien), And I think he doesn't know his place in the world. Who is the real adrien? Many think that Chat Noir is his true self, but that image was born from his desire to be free, after sacrificing his freedom in order to help fu in origins. And adrien may not even be aware of this.

#miraculous ladybug #luka couffaine #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #ladybug and chat noir #luka #chloe bourgeois #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous fandom #miraculous fanfic #miraculous au #miraculous theory #miraculous fanworks #lukloe #adrinette #ladybug #chat noir #viperion #queen bee #this au will be named eventually #mlb lb #mlb au #mlb fandom #mlb theory #mlb adrien #mlb luka #mlb fanfic #mlb analysis #miraculous analysis #character analysis

[whatbigotspost]

A friend sent me this story and it’s a good time for me to ramble on for a sec about how fucked up it is for the exact people who are wreaking abusive control and violence against their LGBTQAI+ children and the community widely are positioning themselves as protectors and the queer community as abusers simply for existing in a way that says, “you can have a happy life exactly as you are.”

Content warning: descriptions of child abuse coming…Most garden variety adult survivors of child abuse like me can tell you that it’s really really often the adults who are screaming “I’m protecting you!!!!!” at kids who are actually the exact person we needed real protecting from. My dad’s version of “protection” quite frequently meant trying to control my every thought and movement while bludgeoning me with an endless onslaught of his interpretation of Christianity as the reason and justification.

His control and violence was excused because it was “for my own good.” He was just “doing his job to protect my soul” or what the fuck ever. I’ll never forget him explaining to my brother and I how we needed “the devil beat out of us” sometimes.

I am certain this is how people like MTG parent.

There’s another post out there floating around right now about how “save the children” has become a wildly effective dog whistle for conservative Christofascists and the like. It’s true and it makes me so fucking mad because what I really really needed growing up (and eventually found, thank god) were queer affirming spaces so I could breathe for a moment and stop hating myself.

I can’t even bring words to do justice to how important 2 particular adults were to me, welcoming me to hang out in homes that became safe havens for me and many other of my friends…places were everything was gay as fuck and I was safe TRULY SAFE. To suggest they were the problem? The groomers? It’s laughable to a degree I can’t do justice.

I wish there was a way we could take the reins of the “think of the children” thing away from Christofascists. It needs to mean “create spaces where kids can be 100% themselves” and YES that will mean lots of queerness because a fucking lot of us are queer. Sure people of all types can be abusers…positioning gay and trans adults as inherent “groomers” is the same old homo and transphobia as ever, repackaged using long debunked stereotypes and outright lies.

My dad was the real groomer in my life. He tried to to groom me to accept violence as a part of love. To become some theoretical man’s good little wife and servant for life. To hate myself so deeply that I’d turn into a broken person like him and have kids I also didn’t want and export my self-hatred to them and so on, forever. Thank god he failed but if people like MTG get their way, they will abuse so many more children who may not be lucky enough to survive it. It’s terrifying and THOSE KIDS deserve and need protecting from her.

#child abuse #christofascism #abuse #violence #queerness #queer spaces #homophobia #transphobia #kids #children’s rights

[ellewritesandrants]

Singer Steve, Actor Billy and Rockstar Eddie AU

I'm still working on the actual fic itself and a prequel but here's the outline I'm working with.

Steve's a famous singer who met model turned indie actor Billy at a Halloween Party after being broken up with. They had a one night stand which developed into a relationship and they dated for a few months before moving in together. All of Steve's friends had doubts about Billy because he was definitely far from rich and he could stand to gain a lot from Steve. It also didn't hurt that Steve loved to spoil Billy with fancy stuff and Billy couldn't say no to Steve.

Billy was shy and abrasive around the rest of Steve's friends and family because of his less than stellar upbringing. He wasn't the best with dealing with his emotions because he'd been brought up to suppress them like a real man and he struggled with his words, preferring to show his love through actions and acts of service.

Around Steve or Max, he could let his guard down but the rest of the world saw the hardened shell that Billy had been forced to create. It also didn't help that Max was finishing up her degree in NYU and his anxiety at having his sister so far away again left him snappy.

They'd all suspected Billy to either be a social climber or a gold digger when he revealed he'd liked Steve's band before they met and that Steve had ended up getting him his first big break with a director friend of his.

All throughout their relationship, none of the kids, teens or the adults were really all that welcoming to Billy but he was able to ignore all of that when he was with Steve. They weren't even public because Nancy, Steve's manager thought that it would be too drastic a departure for him to suddenly replace his high school sweetheart with an actor.

Steve ended up writing an entire album in three months when he was in the honeymoon stage with Billy and it had been his most popular album yet. He'd even convinced Billy to sing backing vocals for one of them.

A few months pass of Steve's friends and family planting doubts about Billy in Steve's mind and suddenly, Steve’s preparing to go on a big world tour and he meets Eddie, the lead singer of Corroded Coffin who’s going to be opening up for the entire tour and he feels sparks there. He sees that Eddie’s a lot more open with his emotions and everything and he finds himself smitten.

Billy’s been pulling away a bit more supposedly because of work but Nancy sends him a picture of Billy out on lunch with some guy, looking like’s having the time of his life. It’s the last straw for Steve and he breaks up with Billy when he gets home at their apartment.

He tells Billy that he wants that emotional connection and after almost a year, Steve still feels like there’s so much of Billy he doesn’t know about. Billy's heartbroken but he's not the type to beg for scraps after being thrown to the side too many times and while he wished that he could have opened up more with Steve, he still carried the literal and metaphysical scars of his childhood.

“Is that it?”

“I guess it is. Don’t worry about moving your stuff. I’m about to go on tour anyway so I can just get someone to get my stuff since we’re busy with rehearsals.”

“O-Okay. Good luck on tour then.”

“Thanks. Good luck on your acting gigs.”

Steve broke up with Billy two weeks before the tour starts and a month into the tour, Steve and Eddie had been caught kissing. They played it up and even kiss on stage. The tour was about nine months and after the tour, they move in together but they don’t work well in that regard.

Eddie’s a slob and he doesn’t do household chores. He doesn’t know how to cook or clean or anything. Steve isn’t the best at it either so they don’t how to make that work. Also, the conflicts in schedules after the tour was even worse than it was with Billy.

With Billy, Steve got delicious homemade and healthy meals ready to go whenever he wanted it and Billy was a bit of a neat freak but he loved that about him. Sure, Billy would go off to shoots and everything but Billy never went to sleep without calling Steve after his shows, even staying up late or working around timezones.

Eddie was always hyper and ready for the next big thing. He was more of an in the moment guy and that worked really well when they were together on tour but Eddie had a hundred things going on and he didn’t really ever check in, not the way Billy did.

Steve found himself missing Billy and trying to find Billy in Eddie. He’s half tempted to search him up and see what he’s been up to but after seeing Max at one of their tour stops, angry on behalf of her brother who had been heartbroken to have been replaced so quickly, he doesn’t dare.

He heard that their little friend group had split with Dustin, Mike and Lucas in support of Steve breaking up with Billy while El, Max and Will were upset with Steve for it. Dustin, Mike and Lucas all liked Eddie better and so did Nancy, Robin and Jonathan but Steve missed Billy.

After three months of it not working out with Eddie and going more than a week without talking to him, Steve called it quits and Eddie agreed, thinking they were better off as friends instead. After that, Steve had a pretty steady stream of boys and girls who wanted in his pants and while he indulged in some, he couldn’t help but look for Billy in each and every one of them.

After a few months, he called it quits on dating and instead focused on his new music. Oddly enough, it wasn’t going as good or as quickly as the past ones did. He realized that with his latest album, he'd worked on them with Billy because even if he was an actor, Billy was a literature Major who loved to write poems and stories and Steve loved that about him.

There were always sweet little messages written in his trademark cursive that he would hide in the most unexpected places just so that he could get Steve to smile and he would always show his love in unorthodox ways but Steve loved it.

Steve lived the single bachelor life for a few more months, trying and failing to write anything good before he received a link from Eddie, who he’s remained good friends with about an actor who wrote and sang the theme song of his new movie. Eddie said that the guy had the voice of an angel and the body of a god.

“Hey Stevie! Have you seen this? This guy’s the total package I swear. Voice of an Angel and Body of a God. If I ever get the chance, I’d want to climb that tree."

Steve’s surprised to see Billy on the thumbnail, but he watched the live performance of it in promotion of the movie and his heart clenched at the song. He’s hooked and he watched the interview that came before it. The host asked about the inspiration for the song and how the whole writing process went.

Steve found out about the anniversary surprise Billy had planned which he'd inadvertently ruined. Finding out that he was the inspiration for the heartwrenching song Billy wrote made him feel like a total asshole and hearing a bit more about his past with his father made him feel even worse for never asking about the scars he'd had.

Steve desperately wanted to contact Billy but he controlled himself. Instead he went onto twitter where Billy and the song, Hallelujah happened to be trending.

He found everyone thirsting over Billy trying to figure out what his sexual orientation was, eventually culminating in a fan finding a picture of him at pride with his sister and her girlfriend while wearing a gay flag. The girls are sad but still thirsty while the gays rejoiced.

Eddie was highkey simping over Twitter and he was leading the revolution, tweeting out pics of younger Billy from Insta and finding him absolutely adorable.

Billy’s not the best with social media but Twitter was his favorite place to rant and he just used his main since it didn’t have that many followers before but someone found it. Someone shares some of the tweets from when Steve had just broken up with him and fuck, Steve feels like an asshole. It doesn’t help that assholes like Eddie are quote tweeting it with an I can treat you better baby and all of that.

Billy finally gets on Twitter again, surprised that they found him so quickly but he tweets out that applications to be his partner are vetted by Max and El whom he tagged. They retweeted saying, serious applicants only.

Eddie bugged Steve, asking if he’s listened to the song and Steve had to listen to his ex rant and rave about his other ex. He doesn’t know if it’s the universe’s way of punishing him or his own folly coming back to him.

Either way, he wrote his first decent song in ages, a song basically begging Billy to take him back about how he saw Billy in other people which he records in record time and releases as a single right around the same time that Eddie's band releases a single all about being able to treat someone in a relationship better if they had the chance.

Unsurprisingly, the song went viral and when asked in an interview about the inspiration behind it, Steve talks about someone he loved that he'd hurt but couldn't help but want back. Obviously, Eddie's song also went viral and he point blank said it was for Billy, to try and convince him to give Eddie a chance.

The internet started connecting the dots and some people who ship Eddie and Billy ask Eddie if he’ll back off if it turned out that the ex Steve was talking about was Billy. He tagged Steve in a tweet that said Game on. The entire time, Billy was apparently having the time of his life celebrating his sister's birthday at Disneyland with his sister and her partner so he didn't know about any of the drama.

The hard part was Billy was a fan of Corroded Coffins even before it got super famous so people managed to find his old tweets about them, specifically those about Eddie and they shared them, telling Eddie he had a chance.

There were literal shipping wars between Steve and Billy or Eddie and Billy but everyone agreed that the most important thing would be that Billy was happy. He's exceedingly surprised when he comes home to have people literally begging him to listen to the songs and tell them what he thought about it.

Max and El were tempted to give Eddie a shot because he actually did contact them first about dating Billy and he was serious about it from all that he’s heard about Billy. On the other hand, they heard the song from Steve and they saw Billy’s reaction to it because try as he might, some part of Billy would always love Steve since he was his first love. They consulted with Billy who agreed that it wasn’t that bad to give Eddie a date just to hype things up but also because he did want to get to know him.

Billy didn’t really want it to be public though so he asked Eddie if he’s fine with a date at home. Billy cooked because he’s a great cook and Eddie made him laugh with his antics and anecdotes. Eddie suggested they take a picture of them together and share it on his Twitter to reward the fans who helped him get where he was and Billy agreed.

Steve saw it and burned with jealousy. He sent Billy a huge bouquet of his favorite flowers just like he used to do before his premieres with one of Billy’s favorite poems about finding his way back to the one he loves or something. Max is the one who shares a picture of it and tags Steve, asking what the hell it was. He replies a gift.

Courting Wars launch between Eddie and Steve for Billy. Billy’s head spins because it’s literally his past and his present fighting over his future and it’s so weird. Billy doesn't really know what to do so he takes it a few steps at a time, allowing each of the boys to have their dates, making it clear that nothing was going to happen until he made a decision.

Unsurprisingly, Eddie and Steve come to a stalemate and they decide that there's more than enough of Billy to go around so they decide to start courting him together instead of individually, just so that they could get him and keep him all to themselves since there were a lot of other individuals trying to steal their Billy away from them. Billy didn't stand a chance against them combined.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove deserved better #billy deserved better #ellewritesandrants #harringrove #billy hargrove au #steve harrington #billy hargrove redemption #stranger things rewrite #billy and max #bottom billy hargrove #steve x billy x eddie #mungrove #harringroveson #steddilly #stilldie #billy x steve #billy x eddie #eddie munson

[creepy-spooghetti]

I loved your autistic little sister headcanons for cody and toby!

Possibly one for Masky + EJ, an autistic little sister (15/16 years). And level 1/2 asd?

A bit self indulgent 😭 but i loved the headcanons

Aaa, I'm so glad you enjoyed them that much 😭

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Masky

Masky was created as a separate identity from Tim solely to serve Slenderman, but he still has to deal with many aspects of Tim's life. You are one of these 'aspects'.

It isn't as if you are a constant pest or anything, and you can certainly fend for yourself under most circumstances, so Masky never really bothered hating you, or even severely disliking you. You were just Tim's sister; nothing more, nothing less. Yet, having to be around you often gradually made him feel something different. Something akin to fondness. Something...protective and foreign.

He grew to care for you, somehow. You innocently, unintentionally wormed your way into his heart over time, strolling right through the gates like you owned the place. And now, he supposed, you did. At least to a degree.

Because he views you as family, you manage to get away with a lot more things than anyone else could ever dream about—most of them are very benign, such as asking questions, or sassing him on occasion, or some type of physical gesture, like leaning against him or messing with his hair or even just flicking him. He would absolutely annihilate anyone else, but he just can't find it within himself to bring you harm.

If a single person ever does anything remotely 'not nice' to you, or even alludes to it, best be certain Masky will have something to say about it. He has this instinctive urge to just...keep you safe, and out of emotional distress, in whatever way he possibly can. He doesn't understand why or how he can love you when he doesn't love anything, but he realized that fighting it does nothing, so he merely succumbs to it.

Eyeless Jack

When Jack was permanently, unwillingly transformed into the creature he is now, he didn't remember much of anything. His life was a blur, his friends were distant recollections, and the only thing he could seem to focus on was the untameable fury coursing through his veins.

But then you showed up in his mind again and he felt all the love and protectiveness he ever possessed for you times ten. Suddenly, you were the sole focus in his thoughts. The only thing that mattered, was you.

Jack is not naturally an aggressive person, but throw in someone who's treated you poorly into the mix? Rest assured they are no longer safe. This man will work so, so hard to protect you, and has on so many occasions. Your presence is the only thing that gives him real, true happiness. He feels like he has a purpose with you around instead of convincing himself he's utter garbage.

You have had to talk him out of many-a breakdowns, however, when he starts worrying for your wellbeing. He doesn't want to accidentally hurt you one day. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place: keep you with him, or toss you to the wolves. He would never do the latter, but sometimes he can't help but wonder if you are truly safe around him. He knows he's capable of horrendous things, things he can't control, and the very idea terrifies him for your sake.

Yet there's no doubt in anyone's mind that he would sacrifice everything, anyone, to make sure you're okay. You are his lifeline, and he is yours, and you'd never have it any other way.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #marble hornets #marble hornets headcanons #masky headcanons #masky #eyeless jack #eyeless jack headcanons #autistic reader #female reader #little sister reader

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Hello! Happy nice ask week! I would love to know what it was like to travel on a sailing boat for months! Was it scary? Did you almost capsize? Did you see sharks?!! How did the dog cope? And did you know "keep Austin weird" was a real thing or did you see that t-shirt and start screaming as I would have done?

Hi Cig thanks for this nice ask!!☺️

As for living on the boat, my hair hated it and is still recovering, but I LOVED IT even with the challenges it poses, like back and neck pains from weird shaped beds and rolling and slamming into the waves some nights, and the conflicts and emotional rollercoaster ride it is to live in such a small place with 7 other people. I like traveling and living more primitively and having to work fir water and sleep and transporting yourself because it intensifies the experience and clears my head which makes me able to relax in another way that I sometimes need. But also, the gentle rocking, the community with other boats, the fixing stuff and tying the boat tasks, setting sail and steering the boat, AND THE SUNSETS BUT OH THE SUNRISES WHEN YOUR NIGHTSHIFT BY THE WHEEL TAKES YOU INTO EARLY MORNING 😍 insane. And waking up and immediately jumping into the sea and everything we got to see and experience on land because we were able to transport ourselves. I would recommend it to anyone!

Luckily we did not capsize!!😳

- But I was scared sometimes anyway!🫣🙃

I know realistically, that it takes a lot for a boat to capsize like a lot a lot (if it gets pushed too much onto it’s side by the wind that will also make the wind pass over the sails and ease the pressure as the wind usually isn’t blowing downwards, plus it is weighted in the bottom both by the keel and by lots of cargo under the floorboards because the boat I was sailing on has made it’s way from Denmark to the Caribbean so it has a lot of food and just things and stuff stored in there!

Still, I have anxiety so.. the times I was most scared was sailing in the English Channel (I sailed with them from Denmark to Spain back in the late summer last year, too as the owners of the boat are friends I know from home). But sailing close by so many HUGE container ships 🚢 and just handing over control of my life to others my own age and younger who I didn’t know that well? That was for sure a challenge! (Like our dear Carlos, I have a certain degree of control issues)😌

The other time I was scared, was on this trip, sailing north- and south-bound in the Caribbean during especially early January and actually up until February hit, because the trade wind was still coming strong in from the east, just the waves it had created in the Atlantic were shorter as they neared land and met the Caribbean ocean (at least this was our theory don’t hold me to it too much) which meant we were sailing with the wind coming strongly in from the side AND high waves (at least I thought they were super high😅) and so the boat was being laid down sideways a lot and I got a little scared🥹 🫣 it’s weird bc having anxiety, and knowing rationally that the boat won’t tip over, but also loving the speed and thrill of it, it’s an internal battle going on !

My friends have decided to head back and are trying to talk me into crossing the Atlantic in the other direction, like west to east, and that I am also a little scared of even though I also really want to! I have a month or so to decide so we’ll see.

We did see sharks! Or really, I only saw one shark 🦈 and it was actually very cute and not as scary as the emoji looks if that was a real shark. I say that and it makes me sound all nonchalant, or like one of those people that do not find sharks scary - I find sharks to be Very Scary!!! But this one was maybe one and a half meters, and it was a nurse shark which are known for being non-aggressive and having a diet of nothing larger than reef fish and it was lying on the reef 🪸 relaxing and we saw it while diving and came very close! Maybe it was the way it so didn’t care about us and were lying still for the most part and swam away when it started swimming, or that nurse sharks also have a cute mustache 🥸 or maybe it’s that being 14 meters under water and having your only source of life being the oxygen tank on your back makes you weirdly calm in a survival-instinct kind of way 😅 but I didn’t get scared!

Bonus info we also swam with pilot whales!!!!! Out from the coast of Dominica 🐋 that was one the coolest things ever to have happened to me.

The dog has lived on that boat since he was a puppy, and he is a very agile and calm and boat-trained dog who loves to go swimming and never gets seasick and adorably sways from paw to paw to compensate for the boat rolling and I love him 🥰🐶 obviously he’s not mine but my friends’ dog so I can’t post a picture of him but he is very cute and adorable!

I DID NOT KNOW KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD WAS A THING NO!! But I didn’t scream either because I was traveling with a friend whom I have not talked that much to about being in fandom, and whom did not know that that was the main reason why I wanted us to start our roadtrip in Austin🫣🙃 but I did get very excited and then extremely confused which I sometimes get when I have to make a decision about buying things and especially choosing between options cause my brains literally lacks the ability of decision making. So I went back and bought it at a very inconvenient time and had to apologize to my friend for it (I did feel honestly feel bad but I’m also glad I got the shirt) and luckily she forgave me and it all ended well and then I googled it and learned that it was a real thing 😌

Sorry for the long 🍑 answer I got carried away! And thank you again for asking about my travels it made me happy that you’d want to know ☺️

#I want to know if YOU found any dinosaurs today! any tarlosiraptors?? TK Rex’es?? #(I don’t remember the rest😂) #nice ask week #traveling

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Toga Himiko; Crush vs Love

Sure, anon. Sorry for late answer. Here's the Izuocha version in here.

Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation

1- Feelings Come on Fast

Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.

This doesnt fit Toga's feelings for Tomura since they had bad start and their relationship starts developing slowly after spending time together.

2- Short Lived

Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.

Ever since they met, Toga's feelings for Shigaraki or league didnt suddenly go away, unlike her feelings for Izuku and Ochaco. It stayed because that was true love. Not short lived crush.

3- Sees Perfection

With crushes and infatuation it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income. The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.

Toga doesnt see Shigaraki as prince charming. Actually, she constantly observes his behavours, his happiness, his flaws, everything.

4- Crazy Or Irrational Behavior

Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.

Ironically, Toga's relationship with Shigaraki makes her more stable, healing her from her usual unstable condition.

5- Based On Attraction

Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head. The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually the crush is someone whom is out of reach for you.

Once again, what makes Dabi, Toga, Spinner get into Shigaraki is that he is there. Stain is ideal. Toga's interest for Izuku and Ochaco is ideal, far away but Shigaraki is real. And that how they get over their ideolism for Stain and start developing admiration for Shigaraki. Someone who actually knows them and someone whom they know.

Signs Of Love

1- Feelings Last

With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.

Once again, Toga's feelings for league always there.

2- Accepts Them, Flaws And All

When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.

Shigaraki is first person who accepts her and thats very important for Toga, she accepts his darkest sides too despite not really agreeing with.

3- Open and Honest

Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hope, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours.

Most important part about love is you feel comfort by their side. I think its safe to say thats how Toga feels around legaue, but especially around Shigaraki.

4- Only Eyes For Them

Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to other's beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart

This doesnt really happen with them. Toga is in very unstable condition and she is not really loyal to anyone but if she is to someone, the person she is loyal towards the most is definitely Shigaraki.

5- Their Happiness Is Important

We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.

God knows how many times Toga repeatedly focus on Shigaraki's happiness, it was the first for a girl like her who only lived for herself since running away from home but she is the first person she started to care about his feelings after everything.

6- Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort

Seeing their face, or hearing their voice can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.

Shigaraki knows how to make Toga happy. We saw several panels of how much Shigaraki makes Toga happy, compared to other characters.

Basiclaly, Toga's feelings for Shigaraki isnt crush, its true love. (I only focus on her part because her feelings for Shigaraki is one sided for now at least so we dont know.) What Toga felt about Stain, Izuku and Ochaco and others is a feelings of crush. And of course, what Toga felt about league members is also true love. But i think its a little more there with Shigaraki. More details in this and other shigatoga/toga posts. Also, recently, Ochaco became her hero so well, we will see how it will change the story.

#anon ask #toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #bnha analysis #mha meta #shigatoga #bnha ship meta #ship meta #ship analysis

[cchickki]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tagging me @currymanganese! ❤️ sorry i'm doing this super late ugh

Star Sign(s):

virgo sun, pisces moon, capricorn rising (i can list my entire chart if anyone is interested lol)

Favorite Holidays:

i'm not religious but i absolutely love christmas. my favorite time of year and favorite holiday. i get depressed whenever it's over and i have to take the decorations down.

Last Meal:

i think a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i was craving it lol

Current Favorite Musician:

lana del rey and kendrick lamar! i listen to a lot of music and all different genres, but those are my go to. there's something about fantastic writing/wordplay and production across both of their genres that just inspires me and transports me to a different place when i listen.

if anyone is interested, my spotify profile is here: (x)

When the Tigers Broke Free by Pink Floyd

The Wall is one of my favorite albums!

Last Movie Watched:

Everything Everywhere All At Once

i'm so glad i finally got to watch this movie, it was incredible. although watching it with my boomer dad at parts was awkward (aka the butt plug part lmaoooo)

Last TV Show Watched:

oh man, still trying to finish Succession, my husband is dragging his feet with it even though we both are enjoying it. finished The Boys almost 2 months ago, need to start Gen V soon. i'm bad at finishing shows, unless they're mini series.

Last Book/Fic Finished:

i recently reread Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas, the prequel to The Hate U Give. i haven't finished any of my fics in awhile, except for the two mini requests from my friend @chrissymodi-frost.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

oh boy... i've got quite a few i'm struggling to get through... just look at my ao3 and you can see how bad my writer's block has gotten lately :(

Currently Reading:

rereading The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas <3

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

i graduated in may 2023 with my art history degree, so i was deep into ancient egyptian history and art, and had to write a hefty 20 page paper on german painter Albrecht Dürer. my most recent hyperfixation was the uncharted games again, so while writing i was researching the Hoysala empire

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

first joining tumblr and meeting so many friends on here. but i'll tell you back in 2013 when the citadel dlc for mass effect launched, that was an incredible build up and very fun few months.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

not really an "old" fandom, but i was HEAVY into spiderverse over the summer, met some great mutuals through it. i still spiderverse, but don't feel as fixated with it at the moment. the fandom was kind of annoying with some people's think pieces, not gonna lie, and kind of turned a few of us off from it. i'm sure it'll have another "resurgence" when the next movie Beyond the Spiderverse comes out!

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

most recently the movie The Creator! movie was so visually stunning, with great/powerful themes, and one of my favorite tropes: found family (kinda) with a father/daughter dynamic. not enough people liked it/saw it which sucks, so the fandom is pretty much non existent for it. i want more art and fanfics from it! i'm going to be buying it soon, that way i can get inspirited and hopefully create more for it!

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

i was working on creating a real-life version of nate's notebook from uncharted 4. it's taking a lot of time, and is quite an undertaking so i had to take a break from it. i do want to continue it though!

no pressure tags (sorry if you were already tagged!): @mothertodaughters, @chrissymodi-frost. @malabadspice, @not-those-kids, @durrtydawg, @lilylavender, @lilsnatch, @libertatias, @xinamiguel, @georgieluz, @distantsonata, @soft-girl-musings (and anyone else who wants to! sorry i'm trying to remember all my moots tumblr names)

#tag game #long post #about the blogger

[celestialnxva]

In Another Life

Stephen Strange x Reader: Chapter 3

( Strange Supreme from What If…? )

series masterlist. | part 4.

Summary: When all is said and done, you couldn’t help but feel pity for the man who lost it all. Despite the risks, what shall you do with the growing desire to stay in a universe you don’t belong in?

Warnings: Spoilers for MoM and What If…? 18+ themes, Angst, Cheating (?), Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Non-Con, Imprisonment. Kind of Stockholm Syndrome.

The light seeping through the delicate curtains was a stark contrast to the tired bodies that lay intertwined within the bedsheets. When you awoke, you had almost forgotten about your predicament. After all, the morning time always made you happy. But as the fog around your brain started to clear, you realized that the birds you usually heard weren’t chirping. There were no police sirens wailing in the distance, nor was there any busy chatter exchanged between neighbors below. You stared at the ceiling, blinking to focus your eyes properly. That’s when it hit you. You weren’t home. The sunlight wasn’t real. Everything was different. You remember everything now. 

You look over hesitantly, wondering if the man with his arms around you was awake at all and sure enough, you made eye contact with his darkened eyes. 

“Shit-!” you exclaimed, startled from the sight. One hand reached up to clasp your chest, trying to catch your breath from the surprise. Instead of teasing you, like your Stephen did, the man beside you chuckled and pressed loving kisses to your fingertips. “Hm. Good morning to you too, dear,” he murmured, eyes looking up at you with adoration. 

You blinked a few times at his reaction, furrowing your brows. He looked like he had been dreaming about this moment for years. Well, if you were to stay here for a while, at least he wasn’t cruel to you. Maybe you could at least be civil with this Stephen. Maybe then, you can come home as soon as possible. Choosing your response carefully, you smiled and leaned in to kiss his eyelids tenderly, lips barely gracing his skin. “I apologize for my lack of emotions last night. There were a lot of emotions I had to process. But...” you trailed off, cupping his cheek. “I wish to spend the day here in bed. Is that okay?” you asked sweetly. The intense emotions you were feeling last night exhausted all remaining energy left in you and you needed at least a few hours to relax before doing any activity again. You looked into his eyes, hoping to receive the answer you wanted to hear. 

His eyes softened at the sight of your loving gaze and leaned down to kiss your lips once more. “Of course, (y/n). Would you like breakfast in bed? Do you want bacon? Eggs? Something else?” he asked, already doting on you. You chuckled at his actions. It seemed that this Stephen was just as attentive as yours was. Maybe now you can justify why you loved him to some degree. When you didn’t answer his question, he waved a hand over your face. “Hellooooo? Anyone there?” You snapped out of your thoughts and nodded quickly, telling him all the food you wanted to eat. Since he destroyed his reality, it wasn’t a surprise that he could create new things for you. You relaxed and snuggled into the pillow as he made your breakfast. ‘Hm. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, after all.’

After several meals and kisses later, you yawned and cuddled close to his body, content with the nice food you ate earlier. Scarred hands shakily rubbed your back as you drifted off to sleep. Before you fell asleep entirely, you heard him ask a question. 

“(Y/n), how do you feel about staying here with me for a while? I never really got the chance to ask you but... I want to know if I make you happy too. I...” he hesitated, finding it hard to think about not making you happy enough. His silence caused you to look up at him. Why was every Stephen you met an overthinker? Even this one is lost in your presence and he seems to be the wisest out of them all. You couldn’t help but sympathize with him. Even though he was harsh at first, you saw now how truly alone he has felt throughout all these years.

“Oh, Stephen,” you said sadly, reaching up to trace one of his darkened eyebags. “You already know the answer to that question.” His eyes dulled in hopelessness, but he nodded slowly. “I know. I just wish you could stay.” His eyes watered, causing you to make a noise of surprise. You knew Stephen was vulnerable around you, but you’ve never seen him cry this easily before. You quickly moved up towards his face and cupped both his cheeks firmly. 

“Shh. Hey, look at me,” you said worriedly. He looked up at you, his frantic eyes mirroring his panicked state. You sighed and rubbed your thumbs on his cheeks. “I know you want me to stay here. I know, darling. But you know there are consequences to that.” He closed his eyes, trying to calm down as several tears fell down his cheek. God, he really has gone through so much. Without thinking, you hugged him, burying your face into his neck. You stayed silent, letting him cry against your skin while encasing him in a loving embrace. Now that you were calmer, he smelled differently than your Stephen. Instead of the smoked oak that reminded you of the woods of Sanctum’s endless library, you could now smell what you could only assess to be sea salt from the sea below and sage from the lit candles around you. Both of these scents were different, yet both were comforting to you. It felt warm and familiar, as if your presence beside him was what home felt like. Maybe that’s what this man feels like to you too; like you could feel safe with him. You and Stephen were always going to be like this. You could be universes apart, different with each variant, yet your souls would always be endlessly intertwined with each other. One cannot live without the other.

“Even though this cannot be, let us just enjoy the time we have together. Okay?” You tilted your head, smiling faintly. “Just the two of us.” But despite your cautious words, he couldn’t accept it. He lost everything. He couldn’t lose you too. Not again. His hands reached up to grip your arms, causing you to gasp. Fearing for your life, you started to struggle. Gone now was any hope of loving him entirely. “Step-!” 

“No!” He snapped. He pulled you closer to his body, breathing possessively against your soft skin. “No... No, I cannot allow that. I need you to stay. I will not allow you to leave. Do you understand me?” He spat out, his tone getting increasingly threatening. You struggled against his grip before finally freeing yourself. Immediately, you scooted back and away from him, covering your body with the bedsheets. When he opened his eyes, he found you away from his embrace and your eyes reflecting the fear you had for him. That broke his heart. After everything he did to make you feel comfortable...

“I thought you agreed to the deal. I thought-” he stopped himself from being violent with you and resorted to a different method of getting back into your good graces again. He leaned over to get on his knees in front of you, assuming a submissive position. “Please, my dove. You don’t understand. You are the only one who can stop this; this endless pain and loneliness. You are the only one who can save me from this pointless eternity.” He started to sob, but he slowly crawled towards you. When he was inches away from your shaking form, he stopped and reached out to you, seeking the love you were giving him earlier. “Please... you are the only hope I have left.” 

This was Stephen’s way of telling you that without you or your cooperation, it will be the only thing stopping him from becoming a completely heartless monster. That in itself terrified you. How could you say yes to this man when he looked so close to hurting you? Your Stephen was right. This wasn’t love: this was madness, obsession. You couldn’t allow yourself to be swept up in his passion like a fool again. No. This was the last straw. 

“I cannot agree to stay with you in this universe forever. The deal we had was for me to only stay with you for a few days and visit every so often.” You hardened your gaze, gripping your fists just in case he got violent. “You are not my Stephen and I cannot love you knowing that you will get us both killed with your selfishness.” When you finished your sentence, you leaned forward, gazing at him with the fiery defiance he fell in love with. “This is not love. Stephen. Love is not neglecting yourself to satisfy another person’s needs. Love is not the inability to live your life outside of your partner’s. Love is not destroying the fucking universe just to be with them, Stephen!” You screamed out at him. He was getting angrier with each truth you threw at him. It pained you to think about hurting Stephen’s feelings like this, but you made a promise. Nothing will stop you from loving your husband.

He let out a roar, his eyes glowing bright enough to almost blind you if it wasn’t for you shielding your eyes. You quickly grabbed your sling ring from the bedside table and used one hand gesture to quickly dress yourself. If you had to die fighting for the love you shared with your Stephen and the destruction of the multiverse, then so be it. You slammed your hand down to form a golden shield covered with magic symbols, while your hands glowed with power. All objects in the room flew all over the room once the wind Stephen caused picked up in its ntensity. Despite the chaos in the room and the man before you morphing into at least three different creatures, you stood your ground. The golden shards wrapped around your feet caused you to hold onto your position. It gave you the ability to continue rebelling against him. 

“This is not love, Stephen. This...” you paused and let out a sharp cry as you threw burning hot disks towards him in defense. You knew he was too powerful for you, but nothing was going to stop you from delivering the final blow. The distance between you two lessened little by little as Stephen forced his way through your powerful attacks. When he finally reached you, he gripped your wrists tightly and twisted them in order to stop your magic. With uncontrollable magic shooting across the room from both of your hands, there was nothing now between the two of you. When you could feel the flames of his breath against your cheek, you looked up at him with a defiant glare. “This, Stephen, is obsession; obsession over someone who is now dead because of your instability to accept fate’s course.” He let out another roar and gripped your wrists tighter, forcing your magic to stop working. Now, there was no power within you to protect yourself. If these were your last words, then so be it. You used all your leftover energy into removing all emotions from your face. It would come out in a whisper, but it’ll be enough for him to know that he lost everything while you finally made up your mind. 

“You are not my Stephen You never will never be.”

The last thing you could remember was his wrathful gaze when everything went black.

‘I love you, Stephen.’

#stephen strange x reader #sinister strange x reader #doctor stephen strange #stephen strange #dr strange #dr strange x reader #dr strange x you #dr strange imagine #strange supreme #strange supreme x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x y/n #multiverse of madness #fanfic #writing #sinister strange

[imaginary-wanderer]

@krejong tagged me to list 9 of my favourite shows in no particular order, let's go!

Suburra: Blood on Rome. I mean, look. There's everything: good canon gay character, pining, enemies to lovers (no but also yes), the Vatican is rotten, despair, all the despair.

Hannibal. It's just that good. Good writing, good acting, good production. It's dark, it's twisted, it's beautiful. #SaveHannibal

Tatort. I know, I know, "this German boomer cop show?!" but also, you're wrong. It's not really a boomer show anymore at that point, at it's good, you just have to pick the right team for you and maybe stick to the more recent seasons? Granted I don't know a lot of teams yet, what I know is really interesting. Kudos to them for creating this chaotic bi main character that is Karow. And yes, still acab.

Special mention to Polizeiruf 110 Frankfurt/Świecko, another German cop show, but I'm weak, okay? Adam Raczek? Very good. Vincent Ross? Oh, even better, a canon genderfluid main character as a chief detective? I mean, who does that? (German showrunners do apparently) I have to say, it's not even a what I'd call a "good show" but I love the characters. And it tackles the topic of cultural tensions between Germany and Poland, which is interesting, with actors from both countries and real problematics so it's even better.

In The Flesh. Haven't seen it in a while but it was, and probably still is, a very powerful one. Also: gay zombies.

Mindhunter. I can hear you sigh "another cop show", and I can't blame you. Thing is, I'm a sucker for investigations, for mind puzzles, and I like some degree of darkness and violence, it always brings a special flavor of angst. And it's a very good shows, so, you know.

The Exorcist. Father Markus, sweet gay priest. Father Tomas, sweet bi-to-be priest. That's it. The same way cop shows are acab, any religious related show is also acab. All Clergymen Are Bastard. (sorry not sorry, I'm pointing fingers now) I wish the supernatural side of it was more intense though, but that wasn't too bad.

Penny Dreadful. There's a very special atmosphere in this show, the poetry and the darkness are very intimately tied. And the cast is very good too.

It's only 8 shows but it's early and I'm sure I'm forgetting the obvious. But yeah, those are among my fave shows!

#rb if you want to talk about some of these shows!

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

I saw my first AI "fic" today.

The user who posted the AI creation added "goes to show we still need writers" I took that to mean they were uploading it to show how bad the AI creation was. Due to that, I felt more okay opening it for investigatory purposes (I made a post a while ago saying that AI would produce a facimile of creativity and I was curious how correct that would prove to be).

In a word, I was extremely correct. The fic had no-to minimal scene intros or transitions, banal dialogue, characters flat enough to feel ooc, silly to non existent conflicts, and it "tells" everything (no showing, no extended metaphors or insightful similes).

Scarily though, each snippet was coherent. Like sure, the characters were flat and the conflicts (when they exist) one dimensional and the turns of phrase often felt cliche (which is exactly what one would expect to get from an AI, which formulates sentences based off of how often words go next to eachother). But the scenes themselves make sense. If AI wasnt in the title I wouldnt have been able to tell the difference between this and a 15 yo's first fic.

The danger of course is that this is how AI starts out. The more people use them, and input content into them they will get better at producing this facimile of a creative work. AI could probably learn to produce some or all of the common components of storytelling that I've noticed this and other AI products lack.The scarier danger for me is when it becomes good enough to justify publishing houses and studios attempting to replace expensive human writers. (And to a degree clogging up AO3... although I hope enough people in fandom are here for the human connections that that wouldnt be a concern...).

Look, AI will never be keeping human writers out of fandom. Theres no finite number of spots on AO3. But AI could keep human writers out of screenwriting and book writing (which do have finite spots/finite funds for written works) and then... we lose something beautiful and precious.

The beauty of human writers is that they constantly have new things to say because every lived experience is so unique and precious. no two people will write a character's emotions the same way or capture the tension of a plot with the same words. I have read and will keep reading thousands of fanfics about the same canon characters because each person captures their pain and love and failures and triumphs in new and exciting ways. Humans always bring something new to the table. Humans always keep learning. Experimenting. Changing the conversation. An AI will never be able to say anything new. They are actively doing the opposite of human thinking and creating. Theyre not doing research or looking up new words or playing with new turns of phrase. Instead theyre cycling through a fixed set of applicable word choices and chosing the one with the highest percent match for what should come after the previous word.

So three bad things happen if you all start using AI as a fic production shortcut:

The AI improves its deepfakes of creativity. your requests, inputted content, and feedback all help it update the word selection math it is doing in the background. This makes it more likely that canon content stops being created by real people and instead starts being replwced by AI products.

You learn and feel nothing. I mean it. Writing is a joy because every creation is a new research rabbit hole. a new word looked up in the thesaurus. a new way to make your readers sob from the feels. AI robs you of that process. So you think less. You explore characters less. You are deprived the joy of marinating in your blorbos angst and pain and love and joy while you decide exactly how to put that into words. Youre deprived the satisfaction of your own work. (And by being deprived of the process above you also dont learn how to write. because the AI is not writing.)

Your readers lose out. Sure the AI has produced something perfectly spelled and grammared... but nothing new has been said. The grand conversation we are constantly having by writing and reading fic and exclaiming about characters stagnates and then festers. No new stories get told. AI is only producing things that look like what came before. your readers dont get any joy from new thoughts. new ideas. changed minds. changed perspectives... none of that happens. (Again I want to go back to point one. Im not worried about AO3 drowning in AI fics as much as I am worried that canon content will become overrun with it).

#ai #ai fic #chat gpt