#loved the comedic timing hahaha

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙MY girl | LN4˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x celeb interviewer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: a couple of innuendos/sexual references but mainly fluff

summary: in which your job has your boyfriend acting up every other week

a/n: this is kind of short but didnt think it was necessary to make it any longer!?! hope u luv it (i love jealous lando omg my heart cant take itttt)

request!!!: Lando’s gf is a celebrity interviewer like Amelia from chicken shop date and Lando is supportive but also playfully jealous?

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername 📍 london

liked by aitch, landonorris, and 1,718,293 others

yourusername spent a day in london with my fav british rapper @.aitch !! episode out now hope u enjoy 👀

tagged: aitch

view all 18,284 comments

user1 OMG he was flirting with her so bad

user2 no fr she got a man

user3 yea and her man is LANDO NORRIS likeeee

user4 why are they lowkey cute together.....

user5 i love everything y/n does

user6 does anyone else only watch the series just for y/n idec about the celebrity guests 💀

user7 no coz this is actually so valid

user8 omg i've been waiting for this one

user9 queue lando marking his territory soon

user10 can u blame him

f1wags

liked by user4, user5, user9, and 43,761 others

f1wags new episode of y/n y/l/n's celeb interview series with british rapper aitch out now 🫶 for anyone who doesn't know, y/n (wag of lando norris) is a celebrity interviewer for events & tv as well as having her own series online in which she “dates” someone for the day, usually in a random city of their choice, and interviews them at the same time in a comedic way !!! the series is super popular, who would you like to see her interview?

view all 5,174 comments

user11 we love her

user12 her interviews r sooo funny and unserious

user13 i want her to interview f1 drivers 😭

user14 omg rightttt imagine lando on there

user15 i want oscar or charles 😂

user16 i didnt even know she was a wag

user17 she's more relevant that her bf HE's the wag

user18 justice for my guy lando

aitch

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 853,903 others

aitch watch me on y/n y/l/n's series for real like that's my girl

tagged: yourusername

view all 12,284 comments

user19 damn

user20 his girl?!

user21 y/n looks so hot

user22 look like a couple fr

yourusername had the best time, thanks for coming on the show!!!

aitch anything 4 u

user23 🤭🤭🤭

user24 CUTIESSS

user25 one of my fav episodes so far

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 822,182 others

user30 omg i screamed

user31 SHE'S SOOO HOTTTT

carlossainz55 somebody's jealous

landonorris of what?

carlossainz55 😂

user32 lando norris you are one lucky man

yourusername omg hello mr protective

landonorris my girl

yourusername you are freaking sexy

landonorris where are you right now

yourusername 👀

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,021,843 others

landonorris hey

view all 33,826 comments

user33 "HEY"????

user34 omg

user35 HOTTTTTT

carlossainz55 still not jealous?

landonorris not sure what you're talking about!

user36 you caused this @.aitch

aitch nah

landonorris no

yourusername 🙂

user37 posting this with this caption is criminal

user38 hahaha our jealous boy

user39 little lando norris is jealoussss

yourusername hahah i love you and only you

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 713,028 others

landonorris yup. that's MY girl

THE END 🧡

#f1 #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #smau #f1 fic #f1 imagine #lando norris #ln4 #ln4 smau #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 x reader #ln4 x you #lando x reader #maddie's smau

[hiraya-rawr]

— oh and by the way im married (zhongli) .

synopsis !! zhongli neglects to inform his friends that he's married.

contains !! they/them reader but referred to as wife, comedic dialogue

Z H O N G L I

Perhaps it's the fact that you've been married for centuries that informing others didn't seem to be a priority for Zhongli.

It wasn't obvious either. He had his day job and you had yours. To regular couples, the amount of distance you two spend would be a little strange, but time is something you have in abundance so it didn't really matter when you spend a few days apart doing your day jobs.

It was Hutao who brought it up the on the evening's Lantern Rite dinner.

"Aiyaya, it seems like everybody alive and dead has a date for this year's lantern rite."

"Hahaha! And here we are celebrating a feast with new and old friends. It doesn't sound like much of a loss to me." Venti laugjs, pouring himself a drink that threatens to overflow from his hand.

"I'm not saying it's a loss, I'm simply wondering wouldn't some of you want to spend the night with a special someone?" She smirks, eyes scanning the group. Chongyun coughs into his cup as Xiao averts his gaze from the troublemaker.

"If you're asking for my opinion, I'd say everyone here is quite special to me," Lumine smiles warmly before glancing at the two archons and yaksha, "I'm sure there's still time for dating in the future. We're not that old."

"Well. . ." Hutao turns to Zhongli. He raises a brow, placing down his cup.

"May I ask why you're staring at me, Director Hu?"

"No reason~ It's just, as your boss, of course I'm a little bit concerned. Aren't you wasting your youth by not going out on dates, mister Zhongli? I'm sure there's a line of Liyuens who would love to–"

A burst of laughter comes from the green bard. "Oh, him? On a Lantern Rite date with someone else? (Name) would surely kill him."

"(Name)?" Everyone questions.

"Huh? He didn't tell you?" Venti tilts his head.

Zhongli coughs, "Ah. . . Please don't be concerned about my dating life, Director Hu. After all, I am already married."

Silence.

A cup drops.

Tea spills (literally).

Then,

"Married?!" The restaurant shakes as Hutao and Lumine jolt upright, hands slamming the table.

"Married." Zhongli confirms.

"What! For how long? When? What's their name? Why have you never–"

Zhongli hushes, trying to calm his boss from jumping over the table. His face dusts a light pink, perhaps embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

"For a few. . . years now. As you know, they're (Name). And as for why I never mentioned my wife. . ." He glances at the crowd, ". . . I simply forgot."

"You. . . forgot," Xingqiu slowly repeats.

"Yes, it seems I've forgotten to inform everyone. Then again, is it not obvious that I'm a married man?"

Chongyun covers his face in his hands, processing the whole ordeal, "Thinking back. . . mister Zhongli always had a domestic kind of aura. It seems so obvious now."

"Wait, wait, wait! How come I didn't know about this? We work together almost everyday! And why does Venti know! Didn't you two just met! Do you even have a ring?" Hutao interjects, flabbergasted as Zhongli and Venti freezes.

In truth, he does have a ring. One he carved himself made of only the most precious of jade and metal. It has rested under his glove for centuries—

Under his glove also hides his draconic arms, golden veins against dark brown, almost scale-like skin. Proof of a entity greater than human.

"Ehe. . . about that," Venti nervously looks away, "I've actually. . . met his wife before!" He covers up, voice laced with enthusiasm.

"Yes, yes, my wife is quite fond of Mondstadt's songs. They've frequently visited the nation before."

"And you don't come along?" Xiangling asks.

"I don't."

The group blinks.

"And what about the ring? I never see you wear a wedding ring." Hutao narrows her eyes.

"That's because I don't wear it." He answers bluntly.

". . . and you never introduced them to us because. . .?" Lumine questions.

"Because . . . I haven't had the time to?"

Hutao rests back on her chair, her eyes glazed in judgment, "No offense mister Zhongli, but you seem like a terrible husband. If you don't get your act straight, I'd say your marriage won't last."

His jaw drops. Venti laughs.

|| ko-fi support / character m.list ||

~ bonus ~

"Darling, am I a terrible husband?"

"No? What makes you think that?"

"No reason. Although I believe we should try dating publicly."

tumblr has been deleting my last paragraphs why

//for some reason tumblr has been deleting my last lines in drafts so i have to type this so my last sentences wont get deleted

"No reason. But perhaps it's about time I show you off to the public more."

ko-fi support | character m.list

#genshin #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact #zhongli #zhongli fluff #zhongli fic #genshin fluff #genshin x reader

[allysunny]

If you said your requests are open… I know this is silly but JEALOUS MIGUEL

Dude gets annoyed if Y/N talks abt someone else (Ben Reilly, Peter B, some other spider people orsome of her friends back in her world) fondly and even LYLA called him out on that

Then one time when Y/N was doing that thing where she talks abt someone else in a fond way and Miguel accidentally said smth that reveals his feelings for you 🤭🤭🤭

A Jab of Jealousy | Miguel O'Hara x Spider Fem!Reader

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: Jealous behaviour from Miguel - seriously, he's kind of a stalker in here. He's down bad and whipped and acts like a sulking baby. Mentions of violence, but it's for comedical effect. Peter B. is a menace. Perhaps OOC Miguel? If there's anything I missed, please let me know!

A/N: Hey guys!! Hello!! It's me again! Gosh, it's been kinda long since the last update. I'm very sorry, but as I mentioned, I'm super busy with university, and am trying to juggle everything without going absolutely crazy. I hope you guys haven't forgotten about me! Please be patient <3

Anyways, I had a blast writing this! I'd never really written for jealous characters before, so I'm not really sure if this is any good. BUT it was very fun to write a sulking Miguel. He's just so funny, picture a big grumpy cat, upset his owner won't give him any attention, hahaha!

Anyway sweet Anon, I hope this is to your liking! It's a bit shorter than my usual works, so I apologize for that, though. But I hope it meets your expectations!!

Miguel was fuming. So much, that he could probably fry an egg on his head. In fact, Lyla had expressed a desire to do so. If only she had a physical form, she thought.

But since frying eggs on top of her boss’s head wasn’t an option, she simply chose to watch as he dug his own grave over and over again, acting like a complete moron.

It’s not like she wasn’t amused – but there is only so much she could say when Miguel sulked because you’d given someone else your attention without making him upset and causing a “I am not jealous” rant to happen.

Lyla did not want that.

Lyla knew better than to prompt that conversation.

More people should be like Lyla – namely Peter B., who’d caught onto Miguel’s little act rather early on. But the brunet couldn’t help it – pissing off Miguel was a hilarious past time, and he loved to push his buttons. He wondered how long it would take for him to finally admit his feelings for you.

Thing was, Miguel had a soft spot for you.

A very soft spot for you.

A “I can’t listen to any of these idiots talk, but as soon as you start a conversation, he’ll tell everyone to shut up so he’ll listen” soft spot for you.

A “I do not want to see anyone, leave me alone you insufferable brats, but if you walk into his office, he’ll pull up a chair and let you keep him company” soft spot for you.

A “I can’t believe you guys disgraced your mission and were unable to contain the anomaly, it is unacceptable, unless it’s you because then it’s only a ‘common mistake’” soft spot for you.

A “I’m Mr. Grumpy and Annoyed and spend my whole days sulking, but if you walk through that door, I’ll light up like a Christmas tree” soft spot for you.

A “this is the last empanada in the cafeteria, and I really want to eat, but you seem to be starving, so please have it, I don’t want you passing out on me” soft spot for you.

A “I’m not jealous, how dare you, but if I see you talking to someone else, I will most likely punch a wall (and destroy it in consequence)” soft spot for you.

Yeah.

Miguel was down bad.

But he’d never admit it to anyone – let alone himself.

He’d simply sulk in a corner, muttering about how “Ben isn’t really that interesting, and he doesn’t really need help, he’s just dramatic and needs to grow up”. Or something of the sort.

Right now, he was watching as you casually conversed with Peter B. The two of you were sitting next to each other, munching on some spider themed burgers for lunch and catching up. Mayday was contentedly eating her own burger, cheddar sauce smeared all over her face and coating her hands. 

Peter must’ve made the greatest fucking joke ever, because you bent over the table, laughing like a maniac. Miguel loved your laughter - so carefree, so unapologetically you. You wiped some tears from your eyes, still giggling. You reached out and touched his arm, which made Peter smile, and Miguel frown. 

Why’d you be touching his arm? Were you two that close? Sure, you were friendly with everyone, but were you this touchy? You’d never touched him. Did you only do that to your close friends? Did you perhaps want something more with Peter? Well, Peter was a married man. And a loyal one at that - he wouldn’t leave Mary Jane. Why would you go for a married man?

Miguel was single. Why not go for someone single?

“Oh Peter - never change!” you exclaimed with a bright smile that could’ve lit up the whole Spider Society. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take care of some reports for the big guy.” 

The Big Guy? Who the hell is the big guy?

“Ah, yes. Don’t want him to throw a table at you, do we?” Peter joked.

A table? 

Miguel had only done that once. 

And it was deserved.

Were you talking about him?

“Don’t be like that -” your voice quickly interrupted Peter’s. “He threw a table at you because you’d been slacking off. You let that Doc Ock anomaly escape. He’s not normally like that.”

Precisely. 

Oh.

You were defending him.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure he’s not. Off you go, you busy bee!”

“Give MJ my love - I can’t wait to try her casserole. Tell her I’ll bring the pizza rolls, I promised I’d give her my recipe.” You placed a delicate kiss on top of Mayday’s red mane (to which she giggled and reached out her arms towards you - Miguel wondered if you were this naturally good with kids, or if it was just the younger B. Parker that made everyone act like this) and walked away.

Peter smiled to himself, ruffled his kid’s hair, and then looked straight at Miguel, giving him a knowing look from across the cafeteria. He nudged his head towards your figure, and wiggled his eyebrows, mouthing “Jealous?”

Miguel sulked even more, finishing his burger in one whole bite.

Jealous. As if he was jealous. 

The next time something like this happened, Miguel had been doing some research on the Spider Library. It was a fascinating place, really - Spiders from every earth would donate books from their homeland. There were books on just about everything, from Victorian etiquette to small Lego blocks Lego Spiderman would swear to be books (a claim Miguel has never once doubted, for the little guy was one of his most trusted allies). 

He’d been looking through a few cookbooks (Because even Spider People deserve to learn how to cook), looking for casserole recipes. He convinced himself it was simply a way for him to eat a more balanced meal, for him not to eat at the cafeteria every single day - not that there was anything wrong with it, but he sometimes longed for the warmth of a homemade meal. 

“Noir!” your voice cut through the silence, and Miguel caught a glimpse of you chastising yourself for speaking so loudly in a space meant to be relaxing and quiet. “Sorry,” you whispered with a small giggle, before turning to the black and white character. 

You conversed happily, feet tugged under your body as you relaxed on one of the library’s comfiest chairs. The cookbook long forgotten; Miguel was now busy watching you. The way the corners of your lips titled up whenever Spider Noir said something that pleased you, how your hands fidgeted with your hair, twirling it around your fingers or tugging it behind your ear, how your eyes would widen in recognition whenever you deemed the topic good. 

“Stalker much?” Lyla whispered on his ear, making him jump. 

“Mierda! Coño - Lyla - pendeja de una…” He mumbled under his breath, looking around to make sure no one had heard him - unfortunately for him, you had. You looked over in his direction in confusion and gave him a soft smile once your gazes met, as well as a small wave. He retributed, far too stunned to speak, before returning his attention to Lyla. 

“What the hell do you want?” He asked, keeping his voice low and gruff. He hated being interrupted, especially when someone interrupted him while he was looking at you. 

“You do know this whole ‘Watching her from the shadows’ thing is getting sort of old, right? And it’s real creepy Miguel, real creepy!” Lyla chimed in, looking at him over the rim of her heart-shaped glasses. She was way too done with him. And with good reason. While it was amusing to watch jealousy eat him up from the inside and watch how smitten he was whenever you walked in, it was also draining, because it meant she was stuck with a big grumpy cat whenever you weren’t near, or whenever you were near someone else. 

“Why don’t you just ask her on a date?” she asked, voice way too exasperated. It wasn’t the first time she suggested this. Nor the second, nor the third. It surely wouldn’t be the last. “Grow a pair of cojones and ask her out. You’re a decent cook - why not cook up something for dinner? She’d like that, I’m sure.” 

“Why would I ask her out?” Miguel grumbled, trying to focus on his book once more. “And why would she say yes? She’s got plenty of friends, of companions. I’m sure she doesn’t lack dinner invitations.” 

Lyla scoffed and rolled her eyes, wishing her boss wasn’t so stubborn. 

“Well, you should ask her about because you’re whipped! Damn it Miguel, it’s becoming really disturbing to have you sulk and pout all day because she didn’t look your way, or smiled too much at someone else. It’s annoying. And you are becoming a stalker. Look at you! You followed her into the library and were watching her!” 

“I was reading!” replied Miguel, trying to keep his voice down but failing - which earned him a few “Shhhhh”s from other dedicated spiders. “Sorry…” he grumbled. “But I was reading. It’s got nothing to do with her.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, big guy.” If Lyla were to roll her eyes again, they’d probably roll into the back of her head. “Anyway, you have some new reports to catch up on. The new recruits have done a brilliant job, actually. You might want to give those a look.” Miguel sighed and swiftly exited the library, but not before catching your gaze again, and receiving a smile from you. 

Miguel was halfway into reviewing one of the reports Jessica had sent him when he heard a knock on his office’s door. 

“Who is it?” he asked, not particularly thrilled to talk to anyone.

“Oh, it’s me! [Y/N]!” You. [Y/N]. 

Well, his door would always be open for you. 

“Come in,” he said, turning away from his multitude of screens. 

Just be cool. 

It’s not like Lyla was right.

Or Peter. 

They love to tease him - they’re both insufferable and love to annoy him. 

He’s not jealous. 

He’s not possessive or anything. 

“Miguel?” You asked, breaking him out of his trance. “You okay?”

He looked up to meet your kind eyes, and immediately relaxed before them. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just distracted. Jessica sent me some new reports, and I need to revise all of these before I store them.” It’s funny. Miguel would never admit he was tired. Not to Lyla or anyone else. He wouldn’t even admit it to himself - but you were different. You made him feel safe. He felt like he could confide in you and tell you all that troubles his mind.

“I could help you out, if you wanted to?” You leaned against a desk, shrugging your shoulders. “I mean, I don’t have much on my plate right now. If you want, I could look at them?”

Miguel couldn’t do that.

He couldn’t give someone else his workload, couldn’t trust someone else with such an important task. Should you overlook something, the consequences could be disastrous. Even the tiniest detail could lead up to catastrophic events. That’s why he always took it upon himself to review everything himself, to make sure there were no mistakes.

“I might just take you up on that offer.” 

Huh. 

That’s not what he meant to say. 

No, what he meant to say was, 

“It would be great to have a helping hand.”

No. 

No, actually, abort mission. Abort mission.

Miguel didn’t need help. He was doing fine on his own. He was the only one qualified for such important jobs, and that was why he had to set the record straight and tell you,

“Thank you, [Y/N].”

You smiled brightly at him, one of those smiles reserved for your closest friends alone (at least that’s what he thought, because Miguel had not been stalking you, and most certainly wasn’t aware of the types of smiles you gave people).

But did this mean he was one of your closest friends?

Miguel shook his head at the thought, and you giggled – a cheerful, melodious sound that Miguel didn’t mind hearing more often.

“You know, everyone around HQ keeps saying you’re like this big bad wolf,” you begin, gesturing with your hands, as if painting a picture. “It’s funny because you’re not like that at all! It seems like I’m the only one who sees that, though. Oh, and Peter B.” You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “You see, the other day, we were joking about what kind of animals each one of us would be, and – “ Miguel’s ears blocked out the rest of the line.

Peter B. this, Peter B. that.

How close were you two anyway? And why are you always talking about him?

“ – And then I was like, no, Miguel would totally be a cat, and then Ben just completely faints on the floor in front of us, and we burst out laughing!” You’re doubling over yourself, even going as far as wiping tears from your eyes. “Oh, he may be dramatic, but boy is he funny. You should listen to his impression of Victorian Spider; he’s got it down to a tee! And oh – he can mimic Peter Parkedcar so well, he does this thing with his voice, in which he goes – “

He's not even that funny.

“Huh?” You questioned, looking up from your little rant.

Huh? What “huh”?

Oh. Mierda.

Had he said that out loud?

“I’m just saying, he’s not even that funny. Ben Reilly.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, and looking away. “I don’t even know why you hang out with him. He steals everyone’s jokes and makes everything about himself. Also, he’s annoying.”

Way to go Miguel. You do not sound a day over four years old. Not at all.

“Well, I find him charming.” You reply sympathetically. “We all have our flaws.”

“Charming. Tch. Sure, if you find crying over his ‘traumatising day’ which probably consists of a spilled Sepsi charming, then sure, he’s the spitting image of a charming gentleman.” Miguel scoffed, still not finding it within himself to look you in the eye.

“That’s just who he is. I mean, you can’t really blame him, that’s probably how his whole Earth is. Oh goodness – could you imagine? A whole earth full of Ben Reillys?” Your eyes widened and you grinned once again, covering your mouth with your hands. “Peter’s always saying –“

“Peter should probably get some adult friends. And doesn’t he have a baby to take care of? I mean, he can’t possibly be bothering everyone around HQ when he’s a father – you must have things to do other than listen to him ramble on and on and on about whatever topic. Dios, he desperately needs a hobby. Doesn’t he have a wife to return to?”

Perhaps Peter B. could arrange some playdates for Miguel and Mayday. Who knows, the two children might get along.

You’re looking at him, mouth agape in a grin. You supress a chuckle and clear your throat, amusement rather obvious in your eyes.

Could Miguel O’Hara, the big bad wolf leader of the Spider Society, be jealous?

“Someone seems to be a bit jealous.” Your remark was accompanied by some sort of smile that was also a smirk. Almost like you were too amused by the situation but were also flattered. Which you were.  

There was that word again.

Jealous.

Miguel ran the word repeatedly in his mind. Could it be he was actually jealous? Was he, perhaps, too possessive of you? You weren’t his. There was no reason for him to feel so protective.

“They’re just friends, you know.” You shrugged, tilting your head. A few strands of hair fell in front of your face, but you made no effort to move them. It gave you a slightly ragged look, and Miguel felt his heart leap in his chest at the sight. “You could hang out with us sometime. I’m sure they’d appreciate it. You’re the boss, I’m sure fraternising’s not against Spider Society rules.”

It was Miguel’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Yeah – right. I’m afraid any conversation I might have with them will reduce my brain capacity. Thank you, but no.” He waved his hand dismissively. It was true. Ben was a focused superhero, that was true, but he could get caught up in his own drama far too quickly. And Peter B… Peter B. was Peter B.

This was getting quite ridiculous.

Here he was, nearly stalking someone, attacking all her friends, and acting like a possessive jerk, all because he was sad said someone wouldn’t look at him, or hang out with him as much. Miguel was a grown ass man, but lately, he’d been acting like a confused teen going through puberty. You deserved quite better. Much better.

He’d dated women before, surely, he could do it again. He’d had nice dates and formulated interesting conversations. He could do all of that again. Without stalking you and following you around like a lost puppy. He could take you out and grant you a night of fun. Treat you nicely. Cook you some dinner, perhaps.

Something ran through Miguel’s mind – a thought he never expected to have – Lyla was right. Maybe it was time to do things like a proper adult instead of pouting and throwing tantrums whenever you looked somewhere else. It wasn’t fair of him to keep acting this way, and especially towards you, who’d done nothing to warrant such a weird treatment. All he hoped for was that you hadn’t noticed his strange demeanour these past few weeks.

“But, well,” he started, trying not to sound like a sulking child, “I surely don’t lose any of my faculties whenever I’m with you. Perhaps you would like to get some coffee sometimes?”

There it was.

An invitation.

(Even if slightly half-assed)

An opportunity to stop being some creepy loser (Peter’s words), and maybe get closer to you.

(It should be noted that Lyla was observing the whole thing, and although she was merely AI, the joy she was feeling was far too big to be considered “synthetic”. She was simply happy her oblivious moron of a boss had finally manned up. She was so proud. It was like watching a baby take his first steps – only in this case, the baby was a 6’9 superhero who could crush a car with his bare hands. She was proud, nevertheless. He was all grown up now.)

Your smiled softened, and you nodded.

“I’d like that. I really would.”

Miguel looked up.

Huh. That’d been surprisingly easy.

And you’d said yes.

“Really?” Were you messing with him? Was Peter going to kick his door down, shove a camera up his face and proclaim he’d been pranked?

“Yeah!” You shrugged, linking your hands behind your back. “I think it’d be fun. I’d really like to go on a date with you.” Your eyes widened. “Unless – I mean, is it a date? It doesn’t have to – I’m sorry, I just assumed – but it really doesn’t have to, and I’d love to get coffee either way!”

You scrambled for words, face heating up by the second, which made Miguel smile. He didn’t do it often, but in your presence? All was possible in your presence. You brought out the best in him.

“Would you like it to be a date?” Okay, now the ball was on your court. While Miguel had been the one to ask you out, you were the one in charge. If you told him you’d rather meet up as friends, he’d respect your decision. (Maybe stalk you some more with heartbreak in his eyes, but he wasn’t about to say that.)

“I… I’d like that. If it were to be a date, that is – I’d really like that.” You tried to hide the way your fingers fidgeted with each other, but it was far too obvious. And completely okay. Miguel too was nervous.

“Me too.”

You smiled at his words, and Miguel’s smile mirrored your own.

“That’s settled then. It’s a date.”

In the background, Lyla did cartwheels in the air, mentally congratulating her boss.

Miguel’s smile softened and reached his eyes.

Maybe he was jealous.

But he was sure it would work out in the end.

A/N: And that's it! Again, I hope you guys liked it! I'll be working on more requests, and stuff of my own hehe, I can't wait for you guys to see what else is up my sleeve. Thank you and have a wonderful day!!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara scenarios #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel ohara #atsv x reader #atsv x you #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse x you #spiderverse fanfiction #miguel ohara x reader #miguel spiderman #across the spiderverse #miguel atsv

[nc-vb]

𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐥'𝐬 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, pt. i

In advance, I apologize to those who have already seen this post. I’ve had to transfer it to a new blog thanks to a seemingly permanent ban on my former main blog, @/niicevibe. So this is just copy & paste from there. Sorry!

Happy New Years, everyone!! This was supposed to be out at the end of December... hahaha. If you haven’t noticed (from the post I made earlier this month in promotion for this), some of the tags/warnings have changed and some have been added. Ackkkkk, I’m so embarrassed by this being my first smut fic on here LMAO and that’s why it took me so long to get out.  I really hope some of those more technical words used here aren’t a turn off for y’all? And side note… how tf does he get that belt thing off??? I totally wrote this piecemeal, so if there are any discrepancies or whatevs, I was all over the map writing this.

masterlist | taglist pt. i | pt. ii | pt.iii

pairing -> albedo x fem!reader

warnings -> 18+ (minors & blank blogs dni), virgin!reader, virgin!albedo, pwp, vaginal fingering, handjob, oral (m. receiving), brief deepthroating (🙏🏼), safe experimentation (& unsafe piv sex lmao), creampie (multiple, implied), impregnation (?), cock warming, aftercare; brief convo of menstrual cycles & periods; mention of blood; uhhh it’s a bit comedic at times, lawls, but this is pretty vanillz, y’know?

character mentions -> klee, kaeya, traveler, paimon, lisa, sucrose, iris, timaeus

wc -> 14.5k

Most folks would argue that taking the advice of an explosives-loving ten-year-old over that of a time and experience-hardened adventure is idiotic; that accessing Dragonspine and braving its subzero temperatures from the route at Wyrmrest Valley rather than through the adventurer’s camp by the Snow-Covered Path was reckless— not just for you, but for those who would have to come up in the mountains and search for your body (to which you easily scoffed at; adventurers do have their penchant for dramatics, after all). Whatever she thought your goal had been when you initially asked Iris for directions with your map had been of no consequence, disregarding her noisy efforts of convincing you to go her mapped route.

“Look, I’m not some adventurer— I’ve got one destination and it’s right here, now tell me the fastest way of getting there, not the adventurer’s way.”

Before the ensuing argument could take another turn for the worst, a familiar face had appeared between you. Well, below you.

“Miss ______, Miss ______!” You’d flinched then, not expecting to see a child at your side so suddenly, but upon recognizing who it’d been, your heart settled.

“Ah, Klee!” You’d dropped onto a knee, grinning as you sweep her into your arms. “Just the sweet, helpful face I’d been hoping to run into!” She’d giggled at this, taking a second to cling to you just a little tighter before finally letting you go. “Say, do you think you could help me with a teensy little problem?”

“Of course!” she’d cheered. “Spark Knight Klee of the Knights of Favonius, at your service, Miss ______! How can Klee help!?”

Reaching behind you and snatching your map out of Iris’s hands, not forgetting to shoot the woman an obvious look of disdain, you’d turned back to Klee, your smile having returned instantly.

“Well, I’m trying to find your brother’s lab,” you’d explained, “but this is the first time I’ve ever been to Dragonspine. He once marked it for me on this map, but I’m having trouble figuring out the fastest route there. You must have the best route, right, Klee?”

“I do! It’s true!!” She’d immediately stuck her nose into the parchment, with you pointing at the small, inked on “X” sitting near one of the Waypoint markers. “Ooh, yes! If you go along this snowy beach, and up a biiiiiiig hill where this bright red light is! You’ll find big brother Albedo in his lab! Klee was just there!”

“Oh, I see! He wasn’t busy, was he?”

“Nuh-uh! He and I just ate lunch together! But now I have to go back to Mondstadt to see Grand Master Jean…” At this, she’d sighed.

You made a silly face at her, lip jutted into faux suspicion. “Did you blow something up again?”

“No!!” she’d been quick to argue, though just as quick to relent. “… yes... I went fish blasting again...”

You’d chuckled. “Atta girl, Klee. If you ask me, they deserve it. Those fish never bite.”

And so thanks to Klee’s quick guidance and no thanks to that useless, no fun Iris - Klee had agreed with this statement - you were on your way through Wyrmrest Valley, passing by a strange cave filled with the bright red light the young girl had mentioned (thanks to Albedo, you knew it to contain the heart of Durin from the old stories of Mondstadt) and trekking up a snowy hill with the hood of your coat pulled tight over your head. You don’t take much of a break until you reach one of the Waypoint markers, a ten minute standing siesta against it to catch your breath and absorb its warmth before heading due east toward the black “X” on your map.

The closer you get to the mouth of the cave, the thinner the layer of soft snow covering the ground beneath you gets, until eventually, your snowshoes sound against planks of wood bolted deep into the hard, bare earth. You heave a sigh of relief, your calves having been burning almost too fiercely for you to continue. Having received such a stroke of luck for having found where you were headed… you remind yourself to not to take it for granted.

Knocking the snow off your boots off as best you can before entering, you soon spot the person you'd climbed all this way for, standing with his back to the opening and before an easel. You decide to leave your arrival unannounced, suddenly rising onto the toes of your boots to lighten your steps on your way over to him, but even despite your best effort, he still greets you.

"Hello, ______. It's nice to see you today."

"Hi, Albedo," you reply, trying hard not to sound too disappointed. "Um... how did you know it was me? You didn't even turn around..."

"Not many people brave travelling up Dragonspine just to come and visit me," he explains. "Klee, Kaeya, the Traveler and Paimon whenever they return to Mondstadt, they all greet me normally-- but when you come and visit me in Mondstadt, it's usually without notice, and, you always try to sneak up on me."

You move around from behind him to see his face. His eyes flicker onto you, while his mouth quirks into a small smile in welcoming you before returning to the canvas.

"... do I really do that every time," you ask, your embarrassment showing through your awkward grin. He nods, another brush stroke leading up the canvas. "Oh... sorry about that."

"There's no need to apologize, ______. I look forward to your visits."

Despite the cold still managing to sting your cheeks, they're quickly warmed by his words.

"Are you able to stay for a while today? I'd like to show you the conclusion of that last experiment you saw me working on, but I'd also like to finish this painting and show you it, as well."

"I saved the entire day for our visit, so don't rush anything on my account, okay?"

"I don't want to keep you here too late," he says, dipping a new, smaller-tipped brush into his paint palette. "Dragonspine is less friendly at night."

Less friendly? you wonder, thinking back on how you had to run from a Frostarm Lawachurl only twenty minutes ago. I suppose from the perspective of someone with a Vision, this makes more sense.

"Worst case scenario, I could always sleep here," you reason. Off your shoulders, you slide off your pack of supplies, and attached to the bottom of it by a pair of two thick leather straps, "since I brought my sleeping pouch with me, just in case."

"I see. Well, that does bring me more comfort than having you hiking along this mountain in the dark. Which way did you come from, anyhow?"

"The path near the heart of Durin." He immediately sighs.

"Klee. Ever since she decided to wander around the base of the mountain, it's been through that route that she's come, rather than staying on the one the Adventurer's Guild paved out."

"But the map shows it to take twice as long to get up here?"

"That's because the other paths are twice as dangerous."

"In all seriousness, Klee bombs fish for fun, so I don't think her taking a Frostarm Lawachurl down with her Pyro Vision is much of a problem, nor is it one of her biggest concerns."

"Even though that isn't the point, and not exactly a fair comparison... I have to agree. After all, I've seen it done." Your eyes widen in awe of the girl. "______, please. If you come up here again, use the safe route. I don't want to hear of anything happening to you on account of you coming to see me."

"We've been friends for a long time now, Albedo, and I appreciate you always worrying about me, I do, but really," and you place your hand on his shoulder, "you don't have to. You deal with enough stressful things. I would never dream of burdening you with such an awful feeling."

"It's because we have been friends for so long that I worry, ______. It would bring me a peace of mind for you to stay safe, no matter where you go."

All the choice words you had to say die on your tongue, deciding against starting a meaningless argument. Besides, it goes the same for you, too. Even though he has a Vision and he's a skilled fighter, you always worry when he's alone up here. Especially after that incident with his imposter.

You sigh at him, taking your hand back and moving to collapse on the edge of his cot. You yank your thick, woollen coat off of you and lay it next to your pack on the floor. "Fine. I'll take the long way here next time. But if I freeze to death, that is on you."

"It's a deal, then," he says, and you instantly roll your eyes.

"Oh, before I forget," and you reach for your pack, "I brought you something."

You have to stifle a laugh when his head whips toward you. "By any chance, is it more sweets?"

"Don't sound too excited, Albedo," you say; "you might not like this one this time."

"Was it you who made them?" he inquires.

"Naturally."

"Then I will like these ones, too."

You decide to relish in the heat created by his flattering words for an extra second before pulling out the tin. Filled with soft, white gelatin balls rolled in coconut, and at the center, a sweet jam filling, "Supposedly, the idea of them came from Fontaine, but this one is an old recipe I found from cleaning out my relative's attic the other day. They are called "coconut macaroons”.”

Standing, you open the tin and present them to him, watching his eyebrows raise as he studies them.

"Would you mind holding it for me to eat?" he suddenly asks, and in raising his hands to where you can see them covered in paint, you nod, no other words needed from him.

"Of course," you say.

Tucking the lid beneath the tin, you use your other hand to pluck one of the balls out, and hold it closer to his mouth. He gives it a light sniff per his usual routine with the food you bring him, before parting his lips to bite into it. It seems to surprise him, just how soft and sweet the treat is. Up until now, or at least in the past six months, most of what you've made for him had been either a pastry of varying textures or different kinds of cakes or biscuits, though based on your description of the new dessert, he hadn’t been expecting such a moist sweetness to it.

“So? What do you think?” He spares you a glance before leaning forward. You bring it a little closer, having drawn back to give him room, and he takes the rest of it into his mouth, his lips grazing over the tip of your index finger. “O-Oh…”

You don’t miss this. As slight as the contact had been, it still managed to freeze you in place as it registered. It was just an overextension, you fool, you tell yourself, internally shaking your head. If it wasn’t for what happened earlier, you wouldn’t have even thought it to be anything but innocent. After all… it’s not just bringing him some sweets as to why you’re here… Get your head out of the proverbial gutter, ______!

“It’s delicious,” he tells you earnestly, his turquoise eyes seeming to be shining just a little brighter. “By comparison, I think this might be one of your best creations. Did you make the jam middle yourself, too?”

“Yes,” you say, thankful that he’d decided to ask about it so as to settle your heart down. “A seventy-thirty ratio of valberries to regular berries, and refined sugar from fresh sweet flowers. Not too sweet, but not too tart either, right?”

“The perfect balance,” he agrees with a small nod. Your gaze zeroes in on the skin next to his mouth. “Thank you for bringing these, ______. I’ll definitely be enjoying them.”

“… you’re welcome,” you murmur, your brain a little slow in responding properly.

If you hadn’t bothered to visit Timaeus by Mondstadt’s alchemy station in an attempt at hunting Albedo down for the purpose of giving him these sweets, you wouldn’t have overheard the conversation at all. But it would only appear that the gods are seeing fit to serve you reminders until you bother to ask him about it. Now, it simply seems like you’re only buttering him up with the treat in order to get an answer out of him.

Which isn’t true! you’re quick to remind yourself. B-But… maybe it’ll help?

“Um… you have a bit of coconut on your cheek,” you mumble, internally sighing at the fact that your tone still remained near that of a whisper.

“Oh, thank y—” he halts in raising his free hand to remove it, nearly having forgotten about his painted hands. “______, would you actually mind, again, removing it for me?”

You set the tin down in the empty space of a small wooden table. “S-Sure.” Truly, it doesn’t need much focus to simply reach out and brush the shaving away, but you can’t hold a steady enough hand that you might’ve risked dropping the tray of sweets.

What's with me all of a sudden?! you’d wondered.

For as long as you’ve known him, both you and Albedo held a mutually platonic relationship. Before, it barely teetered on the line of coworkers and friends, you being a simple records clerk for the Knights of Favonius, and him, being their chief alchemist, until you mustered up enough courage to send him a personal gift during one of Mondstadt’s winter holidays; touched by the gesture, he sent you a beautiful landscape painting of his of Dragonspine.

Normally, with how busy you’d always been with the Knights’ affairs, you wouldn’t have bothered to approach him in the first place, but after a short conversation about him with Kaeya, you learned that not being too hasty so as not to startle him - in this case, first sending him a gift as a greeting of sorts - was the smarter move.

It had been almost three years since then. And in those three years, you’d never felt so strangely behaved around him until now.

Damn those chatty women, you mentally curse. It’s all I can think about now! How stupid.

“______?”

You jump, not realizing you had zoned out. “Y-Yes.”

“You were shaking,” Albedo says, the slight drop of his brows almost barely noticeable. “Are you feeling alright? Are you cold?”

“Oh, n-no—” quickly and carefully, you brush away the coconut with a swipe of your thumb. “I’m not cold.”

Albedo goes silent, his eyes suddenly wandering across your face. As naturally as possible, you avert your own, and retake your seat at the edge of the mattress, knowing full well of his curiosity.

How would you even phrase it? It’s personal, isn’t it? Inappropriate? Er, invasive? Not only in regards to the relationship you had as both coworkers and as friends, but just in general— you just don’t really ask people this.

You groan, relenting to his wordless wondering. “… this might be a bit of an… awkward, personal question.”

Albedo has to hide his relief when you finally decide to speak again. He didn’t want to pry, despite that curiosity. You’d looked uncomfortable, after all. Or, “embarrassed” might be a more choice word to use.

“Inquiry is never awkward, ______. It’s an opportunity to learn more. What is it?”

You hold back a bated breath. No, really— it’s an awkward question. Maybe not for you it won’t be, but for me, yes.

“Right… well…” You clear your throat. “Earlier today, when I was speaking to Timaeus to find out where your laboratory was, the people who were behind me started a conversation that… involved your name.”

“I suppose that’s not uncommon, considering where you were.”

“W-While that is true, I assure you that it hadn’t nothing to do with the practices of alchemy.”

Albedo pauses, sparing a glance at you before finally setting the brush down into a somehow non-frozen glass of water. There were many things within the master alchemist’s laboratory that defied reason, this being of the few that genuinely shocks you the most considering how frigid his Dragonspine lab tends to be, even with multiple lanterns and a large fire always going. He turns to the basin of water and dips his hands in, the water quickly turning an off blue shade from the paint, and abandoning the canvas.

“Oh. Then, do tell. I’m rather curious to learn why I came up in their conversation, if not for that alchemy.”

“Ye— oh, boy.” An exhale leaves you sharply, an embarrassing heat suddenly spreading across the back of your neck. “O-Okay. So, you know how you were created as an artificial human, right? Wait, don’t answer that,” you interrupt yourself as he’d gone to speak; “of course, you know. Archons, that was stupid of me— well, i-it’s not common knowledge, naturally, but people have been making up their own theories since, obviously, you don’t age, and so I overheard some of the theories today, like you’re a secret god or a cursed human or a very well-designed, micro-versioned Ruin enemy with sentience, but then the talk about these theories got them to asking more personal, inappropriate-for-public-conversation questions, like—”

“________.” You gasp a little, out of breath from your tangent. “That was a very long sentence. Please, ask me your question before you go unconscious from poor oxygenation.”

You nod, cheeks hot.

“… a-are you able to reproduce?”

Albedo blinks at you. If he’s surprised by your question, he doesn’t show it— in fact, the only change he does show is one of inquisition. Curiosity. As if the thought of siring children had never once been a thought in his five hundred years of existence. Perhaps he could easily assume the answer is “no”, considering his “genetic make up”, for a lack of a more appropriate term— he hadn’t been nicknamed “the chalk prince” for simply his last name, after all.

But then, on the other hand, he retains identical biological functions to humans such as yourself— tear, saliva, and mucus production; urination and defecation; having the ability to bleed— so perhaps it stands to reason that his body contains the same chemical makeup in his ejaculate as any common male, too, no? Maybe, it might even be of a more concentrated design; a textbook definition of “virility”. And while he knows he’s quite capable of this type of fluid production, he’d only allowed himself to venture on that end of science (read: pleasure) once, and through a private venture. It hadn’t exactly been an experiment to perform in front of others, being frank.

Albedo has lost himself to thought, this much is easy for you to tell. His brilliant gemstone-like eyes have lost their shine and had gone out of focus, a hand has raised to hold his chin and ground him. You don’t bother to speak, waiting for him to exit his mind on his own. Eventually, his thoughts begin to spill out and off his tongue, his murmuring quick to join the crackling fire in filling his cliffside laboratory.

“… perhaps I should proceed with a plan to test this theory, though… a long term experiment of nine-plus months is slightly untenable in consideration to my main objective… There are numerous considerations… although… a willing, fertile participant would surely be necessary…” To your surprise, his concentration breaks, his gaze flitting toward and onto you.

You shiver, knowing full well it isn’t from the cold.

“A-And just what is that look for?” you ask, your voice having cracked with concern.

“… nothing in particular,” Albedo says. He has yet to blink, eyes seemingly stuck on you.

“In case you didn’t know, you were speaking out loud again, Albedo— I heard that last bit.”

“Oh. Perhaps I should explain, then,” he says. You instantly pale at his words. “Regarding your question, I can only partially answer it right now. I don’t know whether I am capable of reproduction. When Gold entrusted me with find the “truth and meaning of this world”, for many years, this had become my sole purpose and drive. After that, perhaps I might fully be free to investigate and experiment the rest that life has to offer. I see, however, that this has piqued your interest. In all honesty, I am curious about it, as well.”

“S-So then… what do you plan to do?” you ask, immediately wishing you hadn’t.

“Seeing as I don’t have any other experiments to tend to, I’m currently weighing the pros and cons on my decision to begin this one. The parameters and necessary criteria are relatively straightforward. Quite obviously, it wouldn’t take many, if not zero, tools or supplies. Really, there’s only one other factor necessary for investigation.”

“And that’s that “willing, fertile participant” you mentioned before,” you say, expression and tone both deadpan.

“Exactly.”

“You know, sometimes, you’re a little too honest, Albedo.”

“My apologies,” he says.

“I… didn’t mean it as a bad thing,” you mumble, looking away from him and at the opening to his lab, outside raging a sudden squall that could easily rival the old record in Dragonspine’s storm history. I guess I’ll be staying overnight here, after all. “I’m perfectly used to your honesty by now, considering how long we’ve known each other for.” What great timing. Comedic, even. Ha, ha, ha.

“I suppose so.” A pregnant silence has you shifting in your seat, suddenly favouring you putting your weight onto your hands while the waiting continues. You huff at him. “Based on the simple fact that you and I have been in close relations for as long as we have, _______, I have a proposition.”

You swallow, offering a small nod for him to continue, but before he does, he travels through his laboratory in search of something— a clipboard full of parchment that he brings along on his way back toward you.

“Firstly, am I correct in assuming that your menstrual cycle is regular, and you’re in decent health?”

“Albedo,” you start, tone unintentionally harsh. “Now it’s your turn to get to the point and ask your question.”

“… right, then.. Would you engage in coitus with me— for the sake of this experiment?”

“Archons alive,” you mutter with a shake of your head, “isn’t there some other way for you to figure it out?”

“Nothing so conducive. I’ve already had to eliminate the possibility of collecting a semen sample and examining it beneath the microscope as there’s a probability that the results would end up showing no evidence of impact; the samples may look textbook but may be inert. Even more, I sincerely doubt that the focal strength of the lens would be enough to see the sample’s cellular makeup on such a microscopic level.”

You instantly hate that he has such excusable, sound logic so readily available.

“I suppose I understand why you’re having doubts about committing to something like this. While I’m not privy to your stance on having children, nor can I fully understand the complexities that may stem from making the decision to go through with pregnancy, I can at least empathize from the standpoint of being one of Klee’s guardians— being a parent isn’t easy.”

“No, it’s not,” you agree. “Albedo, i-if we go through with this, and you do end up being able to reproduce, this is exactly what would happen. I would get pregnant. I would become a parent. I really don’t know if I’m ready to take this risk…”

To your surprise, when you sit up on the edge of his bed, you catch his sour expression in your peripheral vision— it’s not one that you see often.

“Are you under the impression that I would toss you aside when the experiment was done?”

You open your mouth to speak, but only single syllable, unintelligible sounds come out. “I—”

“At the very least, I understand what the end result would mean should it be a positive one. You and I would have created a life together.” Your skin prickles, eyes wide and trained on your lap. “It is not a short term commitment. I wouldn’t allow myself to be held any less responsible for that life than you, ______. In this case, I suppose the parameters need to be corrected— not “nine-plus months”… I should allot for two decades, give or take a few more years…”

“T-Two decades,” your fried brain finally allows you to say. He hums, the dejected look on his face slowly morphing into one of fondness.

“It’s strange, but… I find myself eager to get started.”

“I-I… haven’t even said “yes” yet,” you murmur, eyes daring to rise to meet his. Instead, your lips immediately part.

Being the kind of “person” he is, Albedo had been created with multiple human intricacies left behind. Most times, his expression is calm, complacent, untelling— that of a gambler’s dream. There have been few occasions that have drawn out those different, pocketed looks, but you have experienced of him things like anger when his friends and comrades were injured; joy when Klee or the other Mondstadt children are with him, or when he receives your gift of the week; frustration over a failed experiment or an unexpected result; and most recently, disappointment, when you assumed he would abandon you and the child you both might make. And you thought that one would be the most shocking.

But this… What he wears now… is purely desire; a resultant lust having overcome him by the multiple prospects dangling before him like a carrot on a string. Should the experiment be successful, he would learn that he, an artificial being, is capable of procreating with a pure human. Zygote squares dance before his eyes, hypotheticals of traits and genotypes spread across sheets and sheets of parchment— would they be born male or female? Would they look like him or like you? A thought he believes strange crosses his mind— he only hopes that the child would have your eyes.

You know him well enough to figure that he’s going over every possible outcome and theory, always so entranced by them that he would jot them all down later. Now, it seems there’s only one thing stopping him from being able to get to that stage in the experiment. You.

And so, you nod. Albedo’s lips part, relieved.

“I need verbal consent from you to begin this experiment, ______.”

“Yes, then,” you say, your voice trembling. “I give my consent. Let’s… try and make a baby.”

Your attempt at making the situation less stiff and formal somehow seems to work, the skin near Albedo’s eyes suddenly crinkling into a soft, appreciative smile.

“Thank you, ______. If it’s alright, I do have a few more questions for you before we begin.”

“Mm… hm.”

“Are there any physical restrictions I should know about? Present or past injuries that may affect you during intercourse?”

“Um, no, none that I can recall,” you say after a moment of consideration. He jots something onto the clipboard.

“And your last menstrual cycle,” he goes on, “when did it end?”

“I-I—” you blink rapidly, not expecting him to consider such a thing as necessary input, spluttering as you wrack your brain for an answer, “m-maybe… ah… It was… nine days ago, I-I think.”

Albedo nods, writing another set of words down. “Then that’ll put you in the fertile cusp…”

“… f-fertile cusp,” you repeat, watching him intently.

“Yes— from what I remember when I studied cellular anatomy, the first twelve days after the cycle ends is when fertility is at its peak.”

“No, I-I know that, it’s just…” And you can’t stop the small laugh that escapes you. “It’s all so formal and proper. I know it’s for the sake of collecting data for the experiment,” you quickly add, “but having intercourse… having sex… isn’t such a stiff affair.” But then you laugh again, apologizing under your wheezing breaths when you notice the unintentional pun you’d made, somehow made funnier as you know Albedo wouldn’t have caught it, himself.

He ponders your words, though it doesn’t take him long to acknowledge the truth in them. For as unknowledgeable as he is on these human intricacies, the colloquial term of “making love” surely didn’t involve note-taking or detailed inquiries— he’d figured this much. In exchange for you having become a willing participant in this fool’s experiment, you at least deserve a memorable experience.

“Ah, my apologies. You’re right. While I know of the act, engaging in coitus and its technicalities is something I’m unfamiliar with. “Making love”…” Your skin prickles at the sudden change in intonation. “It’s a romantic endeavour, isn’t it. Done between… loving partners.”

Even though it had been the first question to have asked you, he found himself pushing it further down the list, preferring to subject you the other eight questions ahead of it— have you had any other sexual partners recently? Why is it he couldn’t simply say the words?

“It can be, yes,” you say. “Some people have sex rather suddenly, too, and it’s not always between lovers. It’s not always romantic, either, but it deserves passion.”

It’s because you don’t want to know if she’s been involved with anyone else, he realizes, somehow brought to the conclusion without a second thought. Anyone else besides you.

Albedo sets the clipboard down next to the bed. How is it possible to have found yourself at such a conclusion, he wonders. But then he regards his memories, his past thoughts, managing to find your image dancing before his eyes and recall your words ringing in the space between his ears. He remembers the joy stemming from each of the many times you’d come to see him— out of the handful of people he’d bother to get involved with, get to know closely, you were the one whose company he enjoyed the most.

Never forcing himself into uncomfortable social settings, or into the public limelight whenever he achieved a new feat that might’ve deserved to be celebrated; always respecting his desire to keep his number of relationships to a bare minimum, aware of just how exhaustive maintaining them gets for the man— you made knowing you so much easier for him. Those same human emotions he’d have certain trouble in understanding were explained and shown to him just as naturally as it had been to breathe, yet the one bit of you he hadn’t yet seen a side of is love. Adoration. The same kind of fondness he feels deep down in his heart when he looks at you.

Be it for the sake of or borne through the results of this experiment… I’d like to experience it from you, if only once.

Now, standing before you, arms straight down at his sides, the tips of his fingers skim across the ends of his pant legs as if… suddenly shy.

Your eyes quickly dart over to the paper, and despite it being upside down, you can still make out some of the words of the unanswered first question. Realizing that he must’ve intentionally skipped it, you decidedly take one of his cold hands into your yours and force your fingers between his. Gaze lidded, he stares down at them, his thumb rising to rub into the fleshy part of it.

“I haven’t been with anyone else, Albedo,” you whisper, flexing your hand in a gentle squeeze. “You would be my first.” He swallows thickly. “And… I think this is why I’d been nervous to agree to this, but… this is your first time, too, right?”

“Yes,” he says, just as quiet. “It is.”

“Then…” You tug lightly on his hand, and with little resistance, he moves toward you, only a single, clumsy step necessary to find himself between your legs. Startled by the closeness, he raises his other hand to your shoulder to brace himself against you. “I’m glad. If it were anybody else, I don’t think I would have agreed.”

Albedo’s eyes wander, and the hand pressed against your collarbone travels in tandem, sliding to hold you by the underside of your jaw— something he’d seen while in the city of Mondstadt. He thought about it often. “And why is that?” Does it feel nice? He wishes he could read your mind, but it becomes telling in your warm gaze, in your sweet smile, in the way that under his cool touch, he witnesses your flesh turn feverish, made worse only by the thumb that caresses your cheek. You like it. You like him— he thanks the God who heard his wish.

You lean your weight into his palm, eyelashes fluttering. “Kiss me, Albedo. Let me show you why.”

He nods, a stiff gesture. Your warm hands drag him from his frigidity, placed on either side of the smooth porcelain of his face, and into you, your lips parting only far enough from each other that his may fit between them. It is almost a too perfect fit, he notes, even when you’re moving them.

You encourage him to move along with you, chin nudging his lightly enough that he gets the message, and his thin fingers shift to wind almost desperately through your hair, pulling himself closer into you that your chests nearly touch. For a moment, he sways, put off balance by his lilted stance between your thighs, but then you shuffle backwards on his mattress, leaving enough of a space opens that he’s able to kneel on it. You smile against his lips, taking in a soft breath through your nose.

Albedo, as someone who had only ever witnessed a proper kiss once during a walk through Mondstadt, and who had only ever read about them in the few romance novels he’d dared to borrow from Lisa out of pure curiosity, could only follow your lead. Sure, Klee had often given him a few pecks on his cheek here and there as she grew up, but in his almost five hundred years of existence, this had been his first kiss. So gentle, so warm, so plush— oh, your lips are so nice to feel, he thinks, his own cheeks slowly heating up.

A hand leaves him, lamely skirting down the curves in his shoulder and trailing over the heavily adorned end of his sleeve, only to jump to claim his waist by the material of his indigo shirt. Your fingers curl into the fabric, dragging him further onto the bed with you; he relents by swinging his other leg over yours, effectively straddling you.

Albedo feels light-headed. Oh, is the sound he makes when he finally realizes why. I need to breathe. A giggle finally has him pulling back, you, watching as he struggles to catch his breath with a slight smirk on your face.

“If you take smaller breaths through your nose, or, when we stop, you won’t lose your breath as fast,” you quietly explain.

“… I know that,” he murmurs, nudging into your lips with his. “But I don’t want to stop.” Your eyes widen in shock at his bold - for him - admission. “______… teach me how to make love to you.”

Truly, you wouldn’t have expected those words to come from him, not in a million years. It leaves you startled, hot, like one of the dying embers in the cave’s fire brought to life by the fierce wind. You take a moment, pulling your hands away from him to let out a deep, shuddering, embarrassed breath into your palms.

“… w-what makes you think I know much more than you,” you say, quieted and muffled by your own hands.

“I’m simply aware of how vast your capacity to show tenderness and appreciation to others is. That is a form of love, isn’t it?”

“A more innocent kind of love, maybe,” you answer, dropping your hands to rest on his knee. “That part is easy, since it can just come naturally… but this—? I haven’t… I only know a little of what to do…”

“Then, shall we keep learning, together? I’ve read that intercourse can be painful, and I don’t wish for you to experience that discomfort. Will you show me what you know?”

“O-Of course, j-just… don’t expect me to be good at it, okay? I… I’ve only read about these things.”

Gently, his lips press to the corners of yours, making you squirm restlessly beneath him. Naturally, the books you had read had been from Lisa’s personal collection, and were not of the safe-for-work variety. Hardly educational and deeply inappropriate, it certainly left an imprint on your mind’s eye— even more so considering you were about to do some of those things with him.

In steeling yourself, Albedo notes how the look in your eyes have changed. As if you’d remembered something important, “Albedo, switch places with me.”

He nods once, his hands shifting to settle at your waist. With surprising ease and a knee pressed into the mattress once more, he turns, spinning you atop him. You’re easily startled by the motion, grabbing at his shoulders to steady yourself until he settles.

“I think I quite like this,” Albedo admits, once he’d gotten comfortable. “You, sitting on my lap.” You kiss him chastely.

“… it’s one of the best seats I’ve ever sat in, that’s for sure,” you murmur, hands smoothing across the exposed skin on his arms. You pause, suddenly flushed with an embarrassed warmth. “Th-that came out too easily, I—”

“No,” he interrupts you, and the hands holding your sides offer you a gentle squeeze. “I liked that, too.”

A dry chuckle leaves you, but not at his expense— you’re nervous to start what you’d sought to do, your heart beating anxiously beneath your ribcage as you slide a hand back up to his shoulder. Keeping yourself balanced against him, you slip your free hand between the two of you to finally, finally address the obvious, growing bulge settled between his thighs.

Albedo chokes, elbows buckling from where they hold him upright when your palm, curved like a cup, rests against the dense tent of his black shorts.

“_-______, what—”

“If, maybe, you thought I never noticed…” you lean into him, and in pressing your lips to the shell of his ear, “of course, I noticed.” Pride swells in your chest when you feel him suddenly tremble underneath you, his eyes wide.

Your smiling lips find his one last time before you’re sliding off of his lap and onto the floor between his knees. Confused and slightly dazed, Albedo goes to grab your arm and stop you. “______, what are you doing now?”

“… do you trust me?” you ask, rather than providing him with an explanation.

“Of course I do, but—””Then,” you carefully pry his fingers away from your arm and set it back in his lap, “let me try something. Work with me, okay?”

After a moment’s hesitation, he finally relents in the form of a nod, and it takes but one more steeling breath for you to commit.

Once more, your hands slide up his torso, creeping along his chest until reaching the golden belt slung over his shoulder. After a minute of trying to figure out how to unlatch it, you sigh defeatedly. “Albedo…”

“You should’ve just asked in the first place,” he tuts, staring down at you through lidded eyes.

“I didn’t think a belt could be so complicated— what is it even for?” you rhetorically add in a murmur.

“It pins my coat shut,” he still replies. You refrain from making eye contact when he finally undoes the pin from the backside of the belt, and with a click, the two pieces around the flap of white fabric from his coat separate, slipping over Albedo’s shoulders and landing on the ruffled blanket behind him. “There.”

“Good. Now, take your coat off.” He complies, shrugging it off of his shoulders and letting it slip down his arms. Your hands lift from your lap and skirt across his, trailing up his clothed thighs and up his waist, and tucking beneath the hem of his indigo shirt to take the zipper of his shorts between two trembling fingers. “…a-and lift your hips up,” you mumble, upon pulling it down and unclasping its neighbouring button.

“Okay.” You’re quick to drag them away from his hips when his ass rises off of the bed, the clinking of his metal accessories jingling when they hit the floor before you. Your jaw falls open— with your eyes trained lower than where his knees sat parallel to the mattress, you hadn’t at all notice that you’d pulled down more than just his shorts. “______…”

“I-I didn’t mean to move that fast,” you swear, eyes wide and struggling to stay on his. He looks at you, waiting for your next move with his teeth pinching the inside of his cheek. “But, um…” You dare to glance down, and sigh. “… there really isn’t a point to me being nervous anymore. It’s… You… are right in front of me now.”

“That’s right,” Albedo says. You have to hide your surprise when he leans forward to touch your cheek with his cold, gloved fingertips; a supporting gesture, one with his own brand and level of comfort that he could muster. “You have me right here in front of you.”

Somehow, you find yourself being grateful in the silliest of ways, unable to help the way your mind takes you to the time of Albedo’s creation. Proportionate in every beautifully normal way, from the length of his torso to the expanse of each of his creamy white thighs; from the average length of his cock and its surprisingly wide girth, to how its head seemed to glow with rouge and how his balls hung before you in near perfect spheres— you almost ask him to undress the rest of himself, but as your gaze traveled even further downward to where his knee-high black boots both end and begin, squeezing the flesh of those same thighs you’d begun to adore, you stop yourself.

No, these should definitely stay on.

“You asked me to show you what I know, right?” Albedo blinks down at you, where your eyes rest on his twitching shaft almost too intently. You wet your lips, and finally wrap your warm fingers around his base; he flinches. “Then… what I know is that… supposedly… men really like this part,” you murmur against him, lips then pursing atop his blooming head.

Albedo involuntarily hisses, a hand rising to rest on the crown of his head in disbelief while the other fruitlessly clutches at the sheets beneath him. Having hoped to catch him off guard, you’d poked your tongue out and aimed it at the small slit in the centre, succeeding when his hips leap upward under your soft strokes.

“I-I’m beginning to understand… w-why — ahh…”

It tastes a little salty, you note. Gently, you curl your tongue beneath the head of his cock, and run it along its soft ridge, eliciting the softest of moans from the man sitting above you. In the corner of your eye, you watch his eyes flutter as the pleasure registers and his hands search for a new place to anchor themselves.

“You can touch me, too, Albedo,” you tell him, dropping your head a little lower to flatten your tongue against the base of his shaft. You drag up, sure to collect the small vein pulsing at his underside as you make your way to the top again, “I don’t bite, after all,” before collecting him into your mouth as far as it would let you, your mouth immediately hollowing around him following your words.

You smooth out your tongue beneath him as your cheeks puff out before contracting, a torturous set of suctioning squeezes that has Albedo squirming in place. You shift your hands to rest atop his thighs, only pressing down whenever he bucks just a little too much for you keep up with.

You draw back only slightly, the underside of his cockhead having quickly become the new target of your ministrations. Albedo’s hips roll, an automatic reaction he decided he didn’t care that he had no control over— your lips, your tongue, the heat of your mouth, the hot breaths you let out over his aching erection, oh— he wanted more of it.

Few things exist in this world that he desired as achingly so, if only the positive results of an experiment that led him closer to Gold’s expectations of him and the well-being of his friends. In the now, he simply desired you.

Albedo gasps, and as if on instinct, he lurches forward to hunch over you, almost throwing himself off of the edge of the mattress, and wind his fingers through your hair from behind. “-_____!!” For a moment, you panic, your hands flying up to brace yourself between his thighs, not having expected such a knee-jerk reaction from the alchemist that had him hitting the back of your throat. “Hngh!!”

As deeply as possible, you inhale around him, though very little air passes into your lungs. You shift higher onto your knees, your hands tapping against Albedo’s thighs in alarm the longer your throat remains constricted by his cock. But his head is thrown back, lips parted in pure awe and relishing at how tightly you’re able to wind around him, and how fast the strange burning sensation he’d only felt that one time before in his long life creeps up on him—!

Before he can warn you, and before he can even register what was about to happen, Albedo comes, his hot seed spurting heavily down the back of your throat. His groans are deep, filled with a vibrato that would almost tickle if not for the immense pressure. Lost in his pleasure, it takes him a moment to register that the strange flapping on his legs had been you, pleading for him to release your hair.

His hands fly up from you instantly, his groan sharp when you pull off of and away from him, swallowing thickly. “-_____—” your attempt at a proper first breath has you coughing a little, massaging your throat from the outside as if it would soothe what had just been done to the inside. “A… Are you alright? I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to…. do that.”

But you’re shaking your head, hand raised to wave him down.

“It’s… not your fault,” you tell him, your voice testing. “Honestly,” and you spare a chuckle, “that just meant I was doing something right.” Albedo frowns in his own confusion.

“Your pain was… a good thing?” he asks. “That’s slightly illogical.”

“I meant before that part. Your reaction… It felt good in my mouth, didn’t it? It must have… considering how quickly you came.” Hesitant, his concern for you still ever present in his expression, he nods. “I promise I’m okay, Albedo. But… we should keep going, hm?”

Albedo watches you, still knelt between him, his thoughts racing and unpinnable, most of them plaguing him with the guilt that he’s hurt you— but you only smile, your eyes squinted, and the tears collected along them threatening to spill. He enjoys it when you smile.

“Before,” he starts, his tone hopeful in his brand of emotion, “you said I can touch you.” You nod, your chest heaving with your breaths. “Does that permission still stand?”

“Wh— Y-Yes, of course, it does,” you answer, eyebrow raised in confusion. Albedo smooths his hand across your cheek, his thumb running along the soft skin beneath your one eye to clear away the bit of tears that finally fell.

“Then, I’d like to try touching you to get a similar reaction out of you,” he explains. “I’d like to make you feel as good as I just was.”

Lips parted, you consider his request. While a part of you desired nothing more than for him to reciprocate what you had just done to him, it’s difficult for you to attempt to escape the embarrassment it would bring you. Whether he would’ve been knelt before you, pushing your thighs apart whenever they might go to squeeze his head between them, or if he’d pull you to sit above his face, hold you in place, and—

No, no, no-no-no— either of those things are just too much to get him to do for his first time! you think, trying desperately to cast the details of Lisa’s personal collection out of your head to no avail. If your desire wasn’t showing before, it certainly should be now. So… i-if he wants to do this, if he’s really serious about it…

“… please, then, ‘bedo,” you murmur, leaning just a little deeper into his gloved palm. “Please touch me.”

Over and over, Albedo has managed to surprise you, though more than anything, it had been his astute eagerness that has thrown you for a loop. Despite his usual claims of lacking most human emotions, he seems to have no trouble displaying lust before you. Whether it’s expressed in regards to the promise of achieving positive results, or, as the potentially deluded area of your brain suggests, in regards to him harbouring a positive emotion, one aimed toward you, you weren’t privy.

This time, the surprise comes from him when he gently pulls you up onto your feet, him now standing with you, and spinning you on the spot to take his former place on the bed. You blink, slightly dizzied by the motion, and make to press your palms down flat to steady yourself, when Albedo leans into you, one of his own hands coming to rest next to yours. The other, however—

“Lift your hips up, ______,” he says, his thumb pressing forward to shove the button above the zipper to your trousers out through the hole, “and take off your jacket.”

You nod, swallow the lump in your sore throat, and shift your weight onto your hands that allows him to slide your thick, woollen tights down to your ankles, all in a single moment. Unlike you, however, he’s left your undergarment sitting askew around your hips— somehow, you manage to dub this even more embarrassing than if you were left half nude.

“I’m still right here in front of you,” he reminds you, once more leaning forward into your space, chin tilted toward his chest. You straighten your back, enough so that you’re able to meet his lips, and he gratefully obliges you, his own eyes shuttering closed upon contact. You part from him, grinning softly.

Albedo’s lips part to allow the tip of his glove’s middlemost finger to become pinched between his teeth— he pulls away, the dual-coloured leather falling against his chin before he discards it to the cave behind him, and reaches down between you. You catch his hesitation and decidedly remain silent until he finally moves, a curious hand coming to rest just above your pubic bone. Your breath barely hitches when his fingers curl to dig beneath the elastic banding on your underwear, only to pause with a single pad resting only an inch away from—

“I believe I asked you to remove your jacket,” he murmurs, eyes trained to where his hand waits.

“I— oh, I, o-okay, right…” Careful not to bump him, you begin shimmying out of your moisture-wicking sweater, tugging your arms and head from the holes, and tossing it behind Albedo, leaving you sitting in a half-as-thin turtleneck.

“Good. I’m going to begin now.”

You barely get a nod out when he’s already pressed down atop the flesh above your clit, your body jerking forward at the sudden burn of pleasure. In favour of helping Albedo chase his own release, you woefully chose to neglect the potential of your own, but this didn’t mean it hadn’t been sitting idle up until now, waiting for him to do something about it.

In all your time of knowing the man, you never would have thought you would see him make such an erotic expression, and having been blessed to, you still haven’t recovered from it. Brows knitted and eyes squeezed shut, teeth pinching his bottom lip through his failed self-restraint; you’d never seen a rosier red before than on those smooth porcelain cheeks of his— it sent waves of warmth to pool in your gut, a blindsiding strike against you as you became forced to wait your turn.

“From what I recall from my anatomy studies, the clitoris has over ten thousand nerve endings, so in a state of arousal…” He swirls his finger against it again and you jolt, your own hand rising from the bed to clutch at his wrist. “… the effect becomes heightened when it is physically stimulated.” His eyes flit up to watch your reaction when he moves lower, the tip of his soft digit catching under its hood; your trembling lips have parted, and your eyes are barely open to see him. You only feel when two of his fingers have dipped into you— your wide eyes snap up to him, cheeks flushed at the sudden squelch. “I see you didn’t even need physical stimulation for this— you’re quite wet, ______.”

Your grip on his wrist is shaky when it tightens; another indication of your arousal, Albedo notes. He doesn’t move his fingers as you had expected him to — they solicit themselves before your entrance, swimming in the slick that has gathered there, his reach managing to stretch far enough that it nudges your throbbing clit — and your mind immediately equates the emptiness within you to torture when you begin clenching around nothing.

“I-I don’t know if you’re teasing me on purpose, Albedo,” you start, your nails suddenly biting into the flesh of his hand, “but I’m begging you to stop.”

Your ears ring a little when the softest of chuckles fill them; you shoot a glare up at the alchemist. “No adverse effects to your cognition. If tempered, a high percentage persists, even under that same duress—” You whack his arm, at least hard enough that even he would feel it. “Ouch.”

“This isn’t a live anatomy study,” you joke at him, though the same bite you threw at him along with your knuckles are present in your tone. Albedo blinks, before his lips spread into a thin, almost apologetic, line.

“A habit,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’ll try to be more conscious of it.”

“J-Just… be less embarrassing about it,” you plead, turning your head away.

“Hm? Why is it embarrassing?” Albedo straightens, his back holding him upright instead of his other hand— he pinches your chin between two fingers, and turns you back toward him. “Sexual intercourse is an embodiment of what it means to be human, no? Without procreation, life would end.”

“Y-Yes, that’s all true, but… it’s not why I’m embarrassed. I-It’s not even you getting all technical while your fingers are—” as if cued, they slip into you once more, a gasp fleeing your wide open mouth in shock. “A-Albedo!?”

“So, is it me that you’re embarrassed over?” You wince, his fingers curling upwards as if searching. “Is it what I’m doing to you that’s made your body so warm?” His wrist turns, his other knuckles catching on your clit again and making you lurch into him. “Is it that my hand is so deep in your heat that’s making you look at me with such delirium?”

Your body spasms; you huff at him when he draws back.

“W… what are you even saying,” you pant, your hold on him faltering.

“I am only curious as to why you’ve been staring at me with such blatant adoration. I don’t believe I’ve done anything out of the ordinary to deserve it, and yet…” His own eyes move to meet yours. “I find myself enjoying having your attention on me.”

You could’ve quite literally melted on the spot, if not for the bitter chill filling the cave.

Albedo shifts before you, and seats himself to your right, his sole gloved hand curling around the underneath of your one knee to be thrown over his lap, the other remaining behind to slide up toward your hip. His fingers tug at the elastic of your underwear, collecting them around a knuckle and drawing them down your raised hips to your ankles, the wrinkled fabric pooling around the toes of your left foot.

“Keep your eyes on me, ______,” he says, barely audible. “Watch closely.”

You manage to amaze yourself at just how wet you’d truly become by his hand, the cloth surrounding your cunt and the blistering winds of the squall offering enough muffling that you hadn’t heard the squelching, and only felt it. You didn’t think it could get more embarrassing, but now, the sounds were out in the open, the progressively more intense smacks from his palm hitting resounding before you and belting between the stone walls. But you keep your eyes on him still, just as he’d asked you to, and let the heat continue to bloom.

His attention on you is somehow daunting— bottom lip caught between pearl-white teeth and brows furrowed; usually bright eyes darkened in his focus, occasionally flitting up to see the kind of expression you wear with each new ministration.

You shudder beneath him when the smooth skin of his thumb presses against your clit again, his fingers still curling and stirring your warm insides. An eyebrow raises, pleased by your reaction— Albedo rolls the pad of his finger against you in the hopes that you keep squirming beneath him, that your soft and barely controlled moans keep escaping you, all for him, all from him. Somehow it’s everything and not enough for you, though it shows when you roll your hips toward him and against his wetted wrist.

“I-It’s… how… can you can be… so… calm through this…!?” You pant, your fingers tightening at the breast of his shirt. Shivering beneath his languid touch, Albedo lets you keen against his smooth hand in a slow grind, his three middle fingers carefully pumping in and out of you, each draw pulling back more and more of your slick.

Eyes blown wide, Albedo takes his free hand and guides your lips back to his, tongue unhesitant in pushing past your gritted teeth to find your tongue. A moan escapes you when they curl together, your thighs instinctively trying to press together to curb the heat that starts pulsing between them. Albedo pushes them back open, eyes lazily shifting to the side in time to watch you begin to shake.

“Calm?” he repeats, having pulled away, and with a single stroke, you seize, both hands jumping to grasp at his wrist in an attempt to steady yourself through your first orgasm. “With you?” He presses his lips to the side of your head, a soft groan escaping him the tighter you manage to clench around his digits. “I’m not calm at all with you. Especially as you are now.”

“A-Al… bedo,” you whine, clutching at his shirt like a vice, nails barely digging through the fabric to reach him, but where you touch burns, only spurring him on to keep you sobbing until you reach the end of your high.

“Your voice is very pleasant when you orgasm, ______.” You seethe a harsh breath through your teeth when he retracts his fingers, and as if through a fogged lens, Albedo stares at his pale fingers coated in your release, watching it glisten under the glow of the fire as he turns them. “Hm.”

“… Albedo?” you call, voice hoarse but questioning.

“The viscosity is almost slime-like,” he notes— of course, he would, you think, biting back a chuckle. But then he does the unimaginable, though in his case, you’re surprised at yourself for not have expecting it— he tastes it, tastes you, his tongue poking out to lick up from his knuckle to the tip of his index.

“A-Albedo—””The hydrogen potential is rather acidic,” he goes on, completely disregarding your huff of impatience at being cut off, “but it’s more mild than I expected. It seems there isn’t enough here to collect as a proper sample, however. Before we continue, I’d like to—”

“A-Another time!” you half-heartedly promise, knowing exactly what he’d been about to ask you. Genuinely hoping he won’t actually hold you to your word, “P-Please, Albedo— I’m already exhausted from the trip here, and after all of this, I-I don’t know if I’ll last until the end if you were to do all of that again…”

“Oh. Was it that enjoyable?” he asks, and to your disbelief, he licks the rest of his fingers off before curving his head to better meet your gaze. Instantly, you’re scowling at his knowing glance. “Very well, then; I don’t mind postponing that until “another time”.”

You wheeze tiredly.

With a hand resting against your lower back, he places his other against your sternum and gently pushes you backwards and down into his mattress. Slipping his leg out from under you, he then straddles your one thigh and carefully lifts your other out in front of him. You instinctively flinch, your gaze quick to travel down to where Albedo’s erection sits atop your skin. As if testing, he shifts his hips forward, and drags his dick along your leg.

You barely catch the soft, wounded breath that passes through his parted lips, eyes squeezed shut once more as he ruts himself along you. Your own breathing is weak, both heart and mind stupefied by the scene before you— you can’t help yourself from reaching for him, for it, and cup your hand over its pretty curve.

Albedo gasps, instinctively reaching to steady himself against the bed when your thumb starts rubbing along his blushing cockhead.

“Albedo,” you call to him, voice thick with a sudden want the alchemist hadn’t been prepared to hear. “Albedo, please… I’m ready for you. I want you.”

In turn, you hadn’t been prepared for his eagerness— the way he helps you scooch further back on the mattress, and how easily he’d seemed to fit himself in between your warmed thighs; how sweetly he stares down at you, his pale pink lips curving into the slightest of smiles when you start uncontrollably grinning at him, and how soothing and gentle his touch is when he runs his cool hands along the burning flesh beneath your turtleneck. You shudder in your anticipation, a strong pulse beating from the center of your abdomen just wildly enough for him to feel it when his palm rests atop it. He maneuvers his knees beneath you, and in pressing his hips to meet your pelvis, his own arousal finally nudges into yours, the both of you flinching with a desperate keen.

A single hand comes down to rest on the bare skin of your midriff, hidden beneath your shirt, the other curled around the base of his erection to poise himself before you. “T-Then… I’ll deny you no longer.”

A strangled hiss passes through clenched teeth as Albedo rocks his hips forward, the head of his cock gently fitting just past your folds. You can’t help the shocked gasp that flees your parted lips; you take up the bedding in an iron grip to brace yourself as his own tightens around your hip, him pushing past each ring of muscle with a heavy breath and the smallest of grunts— he’s hot, and incredibly hard, and it sends a rippling ache through your core the longer he takes in fully sheathing himself within you, through no fault of his own. Your nerves have made you tense and tighten up, made you tremble around his throbbing girth so intensely that he’s forced to take pause with a choked breath—

“S-Sorry!” you gasp out, blinking rapidly between him and the ceiling. “S-Sorry, Albedo, I-I just—!”

“I know,” he interrupts, voice slightly haggard. “T-Take a moment. Breathe, ______.” You nod, likely too many times than necessary. “Does it hurt?”

“… y-yes, but…” You sniffle. “There’s pleasure with it, too. For my first time, i-it’s to be expected…” The alchemist stares down at you, unsure of his next move, but then you raise your shaky arms from your side to reach for him, hands taking the cool skin of his cheeks into your palms. “I-I need a distraction,” you murmur. “Kiss me, Albedo, a-at the same time.”

“… alright.”

Albedo lets you pull him down toward you, slowly so as not to hurt him, as well, allowing him to shift around you and reposition himself. At the last second, he leans forward out of your hands to claim your expectant lips on his own, immediately parting them with his tongue. The gesture had sent a rush of heat through you, miraculously allowing Albedo to thrust his hips into yours just a little more. Your moan is sharp into his open mouth, a whine more than anything else, and your shuddering has your legs threatening to either give out beneath him or curl around his slim waist— he notices this, and instead denies you from choosing on your own when he lets himself tip forward until fully sheathed, swallowing both your tongue and your voice when you cry out past his lips.

I-It hurts, you can only exclaim in your thoughts, your entire body lit up like an Inazuman firework when your legs kick out behind him— it hurts.

Willing yourself to focus on anything but where the pain pulses most, you search around the cave once more, chest heaving from a lack of air, mindlessly identifying the many small objects scattered about the laboratory— flasks and beakers, pencils of various lengths, jars of full and half-empty oil paints of all shades, piles upon piles of paper weighed down by miscellaneous paper weights— “______?”

You tear your gaze away from the inactive air gas burner sitting on the furthest table, and force it to meet that of the man’s lying above you. “H-Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Albedo asks. In the corner of your eye, you spot his one arm beginning to tremble. “You went quiet.” Shakily, you lift your arm to support it by his elbow; he spares it a glance before looking to you again. “______?”

“I-I’m… I’m okay,” you say before sighing, knowing you sound unconvincing. “Are you?” He hesitates in answering.

“… a human’s internal temperature is normally around thirty-seven degrees, but s-somehow—” Albedo exhales, and through squinted eyes of your own, you see one of his twitch in his struggle to adjust “— it feels much hotter i-inside you…” Despite your best effort not to, you laugh, your free hand rising quickly to try and cover it up, but it flies loose; somehow, Albedo finds himself displeased with your reaction. “______…”

“I-I’m sorry, I-I just wasn’t expecting that kind of answer, though maybe I should have…” You reach up to hold his face in your hand. “But you’re okay? You aren’t hurt at all, right? I know it’s a little… t-tight.”

“All the more reason why if either of us should be more in pain, it’s you,” he tries to reason, but you shake your head.

“I just… needed a moment to get used to you,” you tell him in earnest, “and I think laughing helped. You’re bigger than your fingers, after all.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he immediately says.

“It’s only n-natural that it would hurt a little— d-don’t worry, okay?” He nods, albeit reservedly. “C… Can you try moving now?”

“If you’re sure?” And you nod back, your hand still wrapped around his arm providing a squeeze of encouragement.

“Please.” With a nod, he gently forces his hips from yours before thrusting back into you. Your grip on his forearm falters, dropping in favour of holding his wrists, instead.

While he knows a human’s autonomic functions obviously accounted for it, Albedo still found it amazing how easily you’d seemed to swallow him back up. Maybe it had been your laughter— you just needed a moment to loosen up, and not just physically. Despite everything that had already happened, you’d still been in disbelief that it did happen in the first place, and with Mondstadt’s chief alchemist; your dear friend.

Your own hips shift, your joints twisting to give rise for your thighs to press against Albedo’s sides. Albedo groans softly, soft hands moving to curl his arms around them and pulling you even tighter against his pelvis. You jolt, a strange sensation suddenly blossoming where his cockhead presses upwards— you just knew that curve of his would mean some kind of trouble for you.

“… oh?” Looking away from his strained expression, you find him focused on your lower abdomen, where he decidedly places his hands over. He presses down around it, your soft flesh pooling beneath his thin fingers.

The smallest of gasps escapes him when he readjusts his stance to the edge of his mattress to push back into you, only for the imprint of his cock to, once again, reappear beneath your skin. He pauses to look to you, and though you look unharmed, you’ve bitten down so intently on your knuckles, your nose scrunched and eyebrows bunched toward each other, in an attempt to suppress the sounds threatening to leak from you.

“______,” Albedo calls. When your only reply is a weary glance and an overwhelmed huff, he leans over you, his hands taking yours from over your mouth to pin them at either side of your head against the mattress. But the movement hilts him deeper inside you, tearing a whine from your throat and sending a shiver through your body. “… are you alright?”

“I-I—” Albedo rolls his hips ever so slightly. “’m f-fine… It… jus’ feels… hngh… g-good.”

“I’m glad,” he pants, shoving his fingers between yours and pressing them further into the duvet. “I was worried you were in pain.” Drawing his hips back, he slowly drives back in, lips parted and jaw hung when the immense sensation of your engulfing warmth overtakes him.

“N-no pain,” you promise, giving his hands a light squeeze each and him, a curdling smile. “Y-You can… m-move faster, Albedo...”

“If you’re sure, then,” he murmurs.

He drops onto his elbows, hands still claiming yours and his lips only inches away from each other— it doesn’t take him long to decide to claim them, either, pressing into you and prying your willing mouth open with his tongue. You don’t try to contain the moan he bullies out of you when he begins sucking at your tongue, in the same moment he draws back once more and thrusts into you as if sheathing his sword. Your body tenses, eyes flying open when you feel the head of his cock reach the deepest part of you—oh, this part hurts, you think, squeezing his hands just a little harder, and once more, he stops, turquoise eyes joining yours in a panic.

“That hurt this time, didn’t it,” he says, eyebrows turned down in concern.

You nod a little, and take a deep breath in an attempt to slow down your pounding heart. “Y-Yes,” you say. “You just went a l-little too deep…”

“I’m sorry,” he immediately says. He lowers his head to rest his cheek against yours, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear when he kisses the side of your head, “I won’t make that mistake again.”

You whimper in response, and nod probably more times than you’d meant to. It takes a moment for the initial shock and discomfort to fade, but then you’re nodding again, this time, in encouragement. Albedo takes your words into account, supposing that he just might’ve underestimated his own length in contrast with your depth… He’s hesitant to move again, though he knows it comes down to the amount of self-restraint he can muster, wanting nothing more than to continue with you.

Albedo startles when you take matters into your own hands and roll your hips up, slowly sliding yourself up and down his length with your features still verily pinched, though certainly, they’re steadily masked by that same pleasure you’d mentioned feeling earlier; no longer a stranger to the sensation himself, he dares to thrust his hips once more, a little more controlled, yet with his expected inexperience; jerkish.

It doesn’t hurt you anymore, you realize when one of his strokes manages to pull a shaky moan out of you. No longer are your breaths coated with your discomfort; Albedo finally found a rhythm that kept him steady and you, painless— one that only draws out more and more of your whines and whimpers and his heavy breaths to be pressed into each other’s skin; one that has your arms wrapped around each other like vices while he continues rutting into you, your fingers digging into the flesh over his shoulder blades to ground yourself atop the creaking bed—

“Can… can we move?” Albedo suddenly asks in separate, laboured breaths, his arms uncurling from around you.

“M… ove?” you repeat, your head too occupied by him to register what he means— “We’re… already moving,” you jokingly manage to conjure. But you relent. “… ’kay.”

Huffing, Albedo slides his arms beneath your shoulders and sits you upright over his thighs. The non-exhausted part of you is startled when he rises onto his knees to crawl closer to the wall the length of the bed touches, finally sitting back down with his back now leaning against it. Still having been connected with you when he unfolds his legs to shove them beneath your ass in the other direction, the jostling finally tears a long groan out from you when he manages to nudge something especially sensitive within you. Albedo sighs deeply, his hands coming to rest at your hips to ground himself when you clench around him.

“Hold onto me, ______,” he instructs, giving you a gentle squeeze. Your limp arms give rise to wrap around Albedo’s shoulders, holding him tighter to you and burying your face into the crook of his neck. You press your lips against his porcelain skin, leaving slight nips behind until you feel him shiver, and his hands drop under you to lift you off the mattress.

A strangled cry spews up from your throat when he sheathes himself into you again, burrowing itself beneath Albedo’s ear and strangely sending a shiver down his spine— he’s already said it before, but he tells you once more just how beautiful you sound when you peak; tells you how good it feels when you squeeze and keep him trapped inside of you.

Golden strands slip through each of your trembling fingers when you run them through his loose hair, having untied the band around it, and Albedo groans almost appreciatively from the sensation of them skimming across his scalp. Your balance in your knees is barely there, and your thighs are just strong enough to remain lifted off Albedo’s lap while he bucks up into you, but you’re gasping, the world suddenly turned on its axis when he spins you back onto the mattress, empty.

Dizzied, you look to him, meet his half-lidded, glossed over turquoise gaze, and swallow thickly when he hovers over you, his tip carelessly twitching against your pelvis. Is he… trying to hold himself back? you wonder, watching his lower lip become bullied by his upper teeth biting into them. With hot, trembling fingers, you guide him back inside you before reaching up between his arms and cradling his face in your hands, pulling him down to meet your lips. You swallow his heavy breaths until they turn into moans, hips driving into you, unrelenting, and only then do you part from him.

“P… please,” you beg, thumbs sweeping across his warm cheeks. “Please don’t hold back from me.”

“… b-but you… you’ve gotten so… so t-tight—” he chokes on his words. “… s-something… something is — hahh… I-I don’t wan… want to finish so… fast…!”

A sudden tension twists through your gut like a fire had been ignited there; you stretch your arm out across the messy sheets, small gasps escaping you with each of his thrusts, reaching for any semblance of stability along the thick duvet of his bed. His movement is fast, a hand suddenly darting out to pin your hand down before you.

“I-It’s okay,” you call out, your voice turning an octave higher than normal when he anchors himself deeper into you with a single, sharp thrust. “… I-I’m there, t-too!” You pant through gritted teeth, sucking in little air as you try to orient yourself— “I wanna hear you, ‘bedo,” you gasp out at him, “you sound so… beautiful…! I wanna hear you when you… c-come…! haah…!!”

He gasps again when you’ve suddenly tightened around him, his erratic pistoning into your wet cunt slowed by your own incoming high.

“Really?” he bites out, brows furrowed in concentration. Your nods are frantic, your hips rising to meet his with each of his thrusts, hips battering into yours almost painfully. “T-Together, then?” he groans, and allows you to further wind yourself around him, arms curling around his back, legs hooking around his waist, cunt fluttering and pulsating almost cruelly until the tears of pleasure formed along your eyelids finally spill over and roll down your cheeks when you finally peak.

“I’m… c-coming… hngh!!”

“C-Coming!” Albedo cries out through his teeth and into your shoulder, fingers forcing yours deeper into the blanket, hips stuttering sharply into yours for a last time as euphoria claims him. “______!” He finally goes still, relishing in the relief the snapping coil in his gut brings him when he spills inside you. You wince through your own gracious release, the head of his pulsating dick rutting lightly against your cervix with each of his tremors and jerks— Archons, it’s so h-hot! you mentally whine, eyes squeezed shut and arms wrapped tight around his back, holding him ever closer to you.

He had never experienced such a strong release of emotion as intense as he just did. It’s startling to him, maddening, that he’d never bothered to seek out such a feeling after that first time all those years ago— but now that he’s gone ahead and done such a thing with you? It stopped being an experiment to him long ago.

“______, I…” Albedo pants against your fast-rising chest, your heart beating too quickly for your own breathing to keep up, and presses his lips to it. “That felt wonderful…” Your arms, weighty from your exhaustion, slip from behind him until your elbows hit the mattress beneath you, only the tips of your trembling fingers deigning to remain behind to drag across his ribcage.

Delirious and still swimming in what pleasure remained from your shared release, you give a jerky nod of agreement, and turn your head ever so slightly to him to press your own lips against his hairline. The softest of laughs hits his ears, a sound that might’ve gone unheard under the howling winds outside the laboratory, but the existence of the five senses and your presence meant his hypersensitivity exists only for you right now— it’s loud and clear enough and he relishes in the fact that he’d been the first to hear it in such a circumstance.

A small part of him can’t help but wonder what Gold would say if she saw him neglecting her final task; if she saw him laying here with you. “Show me the truth and the meaning of this world”— he’d yet to even create a footing deep enough in preparation for the assignment. Simple hypotheses existed tucked between leather bindings and were only disturbed on relevant occasions. Should another note be added inside those bindings after today? His chin tilts your way as he ponders this, cheek smushed against your bicep while you struggle to catch your breath.

“… ‘bedo…” Pulling himself onto his forearms, he watches your throat bob when you swallow in your contemplation. “… in keeping this experiment honest, I… I think I need to tell you that… it’s going to be hard for me to call this… just that. An “experiment”.”

He hums, a wordless urging for you to keep speaking. For a moment, your eyes keep on searching the ceiling above you, half-lidded but bright, trying to pick your next words out carefully.

“I… I think I’ve tried not to acknowledge it all this time… and those women today got me to thinking about much more than whether or not you’re… fertile. Our relationship as coworkers, as friends— have they been the only kinds, all this time? I’m well aware that me cooking and baking for you and my doting on you whenever you’re in the city has far extended past my duties as the Knights of Favonius’s Records Keeper. And, at least in my eyes, it tiptoed the line keeping me from seeing you as just my friend. I just didn’t wish to acknowledge it.”

“… may I ask why?” he murmurs.

“Either… it was because I knew I’d be embarrassed if my feelings and emotions for you weren’t able to be reciprocated. That it would likely change our dynamic. I wasn’t prepared… to experience that distance from you if that was the result.”

Albedo agrees wordlessly, when his gaze falls from yours.

How should he even begin to articulate what his thoughts and logic are telling him to say to you? Through all his years awake and existing in Teyvat, he’s never had to bother with or confront his emotions— other than pure investigative curiosity or wholesome fascination, before coming to Mondstadt, he never experienced the warmth that those who would grow close to him would feel. The love and appreciation from Klee for taking care of her as her “big brother”; the camaraderie shared by Kaeya and the other Knights he’s associated with; even the admittedly strange kinship he once shared with Gold before abandoning him to his own devices— and then, despite swearing himself to his reclusiveness to Dragonspine, his visits to his Mondstadt laboratory would have him encounter you.

In being as work oriented as you are, you still often found yourself frequenting his laboratory to deliver field reports from those same Knights, and in knowing his more reserved nature, you respected it, discreetly leaving small gifts of thanks on behalf of yourself and the others; treats, should he “fancy a snack break?”; offering to run errands for him and his assistants in your downtime— if not for you making the decision to appear before him, he likely wouldn’t have bothered to ever make conversation with you. Most of his other relationships within the Knights of Favonius had always been strictly work ones, which he had been satisfied with.

The two of you hadn’t bothered to separate, in all definitions of the word, keeping his seed plugged inside of you with his flaccid cock. Holding onto you, he rolls, pulling the bedding up from under him to pull over you— he’d seen you had begun to shiver. Seeing the appreciative smile you’d put on for such a simple gesture that needed no thanks, Albedo finds he’s thanking himself for not deciding to keep his distance, after all.

“Maybe in the beginning, this would’ve been the case,” he admits. You nod, as if you were expecting this response. “In the months you first imposed yourself in my life, I had been content on holding the same distance I did as with the others, with you. You made it… complicated, I’ll say, to want to hold that distance any longer when you made it quite easy to be around you.”

“I-I knew it sometimes made you uncomfortable to have to be around a lot of people at once,” you murmur, turning onto your right to see him. “I offered to Grand Master Jean to liaison for you and your team while you were all within headquarters and if I wasn’t busy… though, it was really so I could see you more… even if it’d been from a distance…”

The corner of Albedo’s mouth twitches. “I still have that first gift of yours.”

A bashful grin slowly replaces your attempt at a poker face. “I’d hung that painting you gave to me in return above my bed, you know. It… sounds very silly to say out loud, but… when I found myself missing you, I put it there in the hopes that I’d see you in my dreams during the times you were away.”

“It’s illogical, but no. It’s a… sweet gesture. Not silly at all.”

Your cheeks instantly grow warm. “I’m… relieved to hear you say that.”

It takes a while for you to warm yourself up again — as if sensing your sensitive state, Dragonspine saw to it to up the ante on the blizzard — before the two of you can clean yourselves up.

To say the process isn’t as embarrassing as everything else that had transpired would be a lie; feeling and seeing Albedo’s cum drip out of you — and onto a damned sample dish, by his request — had been mortifying. What you hadn’t expected, however, was that after he’d collected his sample, he’d sat you down on the edge of the mattress once more, rags and a newly warmed basin of water at his side to tend to you. And while he did, to distract yourself, you’d found your eyes stuck over on his incomplete painting and the supplies littered on the small table next to its easel.

Now, as the two of you lie facing the ceiling of the cliffside laboratory, you suddenly giggle, prompting Albedo to turn toward you.

“What is it?” he asks, breathlessness evident at the tail end of his words.

“It’s just… the water in your painting glass,” you say. “It still isn’t frozen, and here I am, carefully turning into a block of ice.”

A small chuckle escapes him, too. “Slime Condensate and Mist Flower Corolla extract. The condensate is viscous enough that the extract won’t freeze it completely. Because it tiptoes the line of a solid and a liquid, it won’t cross the threshold, even if I were to take it out into the harsh weather of this mountain.”

You hum in thought. “Is it… edible?”

“If the recipe was tweaked, I’m sure it could be. Why?”

“It could be patented and made for the adventurers that try to come up here. Their drinking water freezes, and they can’t eat the snow or it’ll change their internal temperature— if it could stay a singular temperature while they’re up here, it might make them last a little longer.”

Albedo’s gaze goes toward the glass. One of the two brushes sitting inside shifts from the stiff breeze that blows into the cave, clattering against the rim. He lets out a hum of his own, before looking back to you, eyes seemingly glittering.

“Want to run another experiment?”

masterlist | taglist pt. i | pt. ii | pt.iii

© nc-vb/niicevibe 2022-2023 please don’t repost! reblogs & comments are always appreciated.

#at the time this was originally posted i thought 'wouldn't it just be cruel to leave it with an open ending?' #to those who have ALREADY read this-- you already know this-- #but there will be a part two and a potential part three! so don't worry. #albedo smut #albedo x reader #albedo x y/n #albedo x yn #albedo x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo genshin impact #albedo kreideprinz #albedo fluff #✦ nc vb. #✦ fool's experiment

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"I'm the brains, your the brawns"

DM: You're in the dungeon. You don't hear anything except a dripping noise from somewhere. Also, it's pitch black because neither of you have dark vision.

Fairy Ranger: I'll cast light!

Goliath (Totem) Barbarian: Wait! We don't know what's down here! Let me borrow your bat. I'll cast beast sense. 

DM: *Explains part of a layout. Important parts being 2 undead creatures shambling in one room, on the other side of the dungeon there's a room of bunkbeds with a colorful ornate lock* 

Fairy Ranger: TO THE UNDEAD!

Goliath Barbarian: No! If we don't need to fight them, let's avoid it. We're here for the magical artifact. We don't need to start unnecessary fights. 

Fairy Ranger: Come on though! it'll be fun!

Goliath barbarian: Go on ahead, I'm going the other way!

Fairy Ranger: Whoa whoa whoa wait wait wait. I'm squishy! I'll literally die with you! I'm the brains your the brawns. 

Goliath barbarian: ... 

Fairy Ranger: *Cheering very loudly when Goliath solves the color lock puzzle* 

DM: Goliath, with your passive perception you hear the shuffling quiet down. 

Fairy Ranger: Oh sweet they're further away!

Goliath Barbarian: I dive under a bunk bed and hide *rolls really well*

Fairy Ranger: Ok, seeing Goliath hide I'll also hide behind the door. 

DM: The currently unlocked door? 

Fairy Ranger: uh. yes? 

DM: ... Fine then. *Rolls poorly* Well shit they somehow don't see you even with dark vision. 

Goliath Barbarian: Oh and the 8 foot tall giant hiding under fairy sized bunk beds is much better hidden. 

DM: Excellent point. Probably better than the door though. 

Fairy Ranger: GOLIATH HELP! *Decided to sneak off and attack the undead without the barbarian* 

Goliath Barbarian: Considering I'm underwater I'm guessing I don't hear her? 

DM: Correct. What are you picking up?

Goliath Barbarian: I'll roll for the ore for the fifth lock. I'm pretty sure it's sapphire from your riddle. 

Fairy Ranger: I'M GOING TO DIE! (Does not die, because she managed to escape to the barbarian)

DM: The sphinx roars for you to solve her riddles three. What do you own but others use more?

Fairy Ranger: Uhhhhhhhhh. Don't worry I got this Goliath! I'm the brains after all! You're the brawns. 

Goliath Barbarian: Your name? 

DM: Very good. I'm impressed you got that!

Goliath Barbarian: I get lucky every once in awhile. 

DM: It brings back the lost as though never gone, shines laughter and tears with light long since shone, a moment to make, a life time to shed, valued then but lost when you're dead.

Fairy Ranger: Oh oh a story!

DM: Wrong. 

Goliath Barbarian: Memories. 

DM: Correct, how impressive! Now. How will you die? 

Goliath barbarian: Hopefully in battle protecting my loved ones. 

Fairy Ranger: I never will! *Ranger gets attacked by Sphinx and has to solve a 'penalty course'.*

Fairy Ranger: We did it! Because I'm the brains and he's the brawns!

Goliath Barbarian: Ah yes, with my +2 int. I'm of course dumb. 

Fairy Ranger: HAHAHA I've got a 0. So your the brains AND the brawns! What am I then?

DM: The comedic relief? 

Fairy Ranger: Excellent! I'm better at that. Riddles are hard. 

#shit my players say #dnd #rpg #submission #shareable #long post

[daphnebowen]

percy jackson and the olympians tv show episode 2 thoughts

again, just copying my original thoughts from last week 😭😭 lots of rambling, screaming, and general freaking out ahead!

Literally the whole first part of the episode I was sitting on the edge of my seat wondering “is annabeth going to say it? is she going to say percabeth’s iconic line?? I will be so incredibly disappointed if she doesn’t” and then SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT OMG I LOVE HER and Percy’s reaction lol “huh?”

dude Dionysus is actually perfect “PETER JOHNSON IS HERE” man I am so looking forward to all of their banter

uhhh not me saying chiron’s name wrong for five plus years now and only now finding out it’s KYron and not CHEEron *sobs*

the whole thing with mr d saying he’s Percy’s dad was so funny I was cackling the whole time lol and not Percy ACTUALLY believing him and then Chiron shows up and it’s like “uh wait a minute hold on”

okay it is totally weird realizing that none of these people know who Percy’s dad is or what he can do but everyone watching (or mostly everyone I’ll say) does UGH I FEEL OLD

the music growing scarier as Luke approaches ACK FORESHADOWING he’s kinda cute tho I love his hair

i absolute adore how they made Percy mad about the injustice of the unclaimed at this young age not just as a fifteen year old and I freaking LOVE that for him

Clarisse is amazing, perfect, and gorgeous in every single way

DEMIGOD IN A WHEELCHAIR ALERT 🚨

“is there a greek god of disappointment? maybe someone should ask him if he’s missing a kid” dude I feel bad but the way I lost my mind - walker’s comedic timing and inflection was on point

AND THE FACT THIS GUY HAS AN ANSWER BAHAHAH

OMG WAIT THATS CHRIS AS IN… CHRIS CHRIS??? CLARISSE’S CHRIS??? CHRISTOPHER FREAKING RODRIGUEZ?? AHHHHH

percy is breaking my heart bro praying to his momma and everything it’s ok honey

YES THE BATHROOM SCENE that was lowkey kind of anticlimactic…

ANNABETH YAY

the fact that she just calmly admitted she’s stalking Percy and he’s just like “okay” onto the next thing lmao

was it just me pronouncing Thalia’s name like TAlka and not THAlia like how it’s spelled *sobs* I am really bad at this apparently

luke is making it really hard for me to remember he’s a bad guy, he’s so charming and sweet!

YES CAPTURE THE FRICKIN FLAG LESGOOOO

”sunshine” IS SO CUTE I CANT IM FANGIRLING Annabeth is everything I ever imagined her to be

NOT PERCY FLOSSING OH MY

AND SINGING ROBIN HOOD AND LITTLE JOHN RUNNIN THRU THE FOREST OR WTV HES PERFECT I CANT

percys battle instincts are JAW DROPPING that fight scene was perfect

dude that claiming! Honestly didn’t picture the trident being so big but I think it kind of fits, bc how else is everyone 20 feet away gonna see it?

percy being so confuzzled when Mr d tells him he stole the master bolt is so funny “wHaT?!”

WHERE IS THE ORACLE BRUH

final thoughts: okay, that episode was PHENOMENAL! Camp half blood is absolutely gorgeous, the capture the flag scenes were perfect. Walker is crushing it as Percy and that was genius casting and I will say that till the day I die. I cannot wait for the third episode! my only complaint is, where’s the Oracle?? I genuinely want to hear the prophecy! because if she’s not here now then how’s Rachel gonna become the next oracle? I will hyperventilate bc perachel was so good for percabeth’s growth hahaha. I really really hope she’s in the next episode! I guess we’ll see!

haha thanks for reading my chaotic notes

#my reviews #percy jackson #pjo #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #percy pjo #pjo series #pjo fandom #pjo tv show #grover underwood #sally jackson

[lovemggubler]

A Rite of Passage

Criminal Minds Season 5 Episode 19

I loooove the comedic parts from this episode especially this one. The way Hotch and Morgan both said “You don't” at the same time. Hilarious. Okay Dads! and Spencer's face at the end lmao.

Baby Reid Hahaha! i love him so much it hurts

#criminal minds #criminal minds series #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #mgg #matthew gray gubler

[oatmilk-earlgrey]

Hahaha

imagine if the ghosts realise they have had the power to move on this whole time if they have the will to, but because they all died so young and had things holding them back in life, they’ve all been holding on. The ending of season 5 (technically the ending of the main show) establishes the love & family dynamic, yes, but it also shows how all of the ghosts have lived their afterlives vicariously through Alison. To the point where they’ve had a second chance at life, which is really beautiful.

And I really think Robin would like to move after all this time, so maybe starting the conversation about it up again, he’ll realise that he can move on when he’s ready. And I guess there’s comedic potential where there’s a gentle, heart wrenching ‘oh could’ve done this agesss ago’

#I hate the idea of him moving on because he’s like the best character #genuinely one of the most unique characters ever & so fucking funny please don’t think #I want this #I’ll see in a few weeks I guess eeek #bbc ghosts #ghosts uk #ghosts xmas special #I love making dramatic theories based on absolutely NOTHING #not even breadcrumbs to support this lmaoo

[kissitbttr]

Ok so we’ve seen inspiration behind Frat!Miguel, but what about my boys Beck, Carlos and Glen? 💌

AAAA IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONEEEE!!!

beck is supposedly to be the most serious and responsible one of the group. he keeps everyone in tact, gives people a reality check (including miguel even if that means disagreeing with him). back in high school, he was the dude who’s known to be hooking up with girls, faking an id, stealing liquors and rarely goes to class. but all that changed when he went to college because he realizes how much shit is getting serious. beck is actually inspired by my guy best friend! a total douchebag in high school but turned his life around in college.

he is a real gentleman who loves taking care of his family, looking out for his friends, getting straight As while partying every week (balance is a must☝🏻) beck understands his priorities now. football, work and college. just like how my best friend is now! his name is jonathan and i am so fucking grateful at how well he becomes:)

carlos is the most unserious out of the group. the boys kinda has to babysit him just so he won’t go off track. he’s actually inspired by niall horan. HAHAHA. niall is one of my favorites 1d member back then. he’s funny, talented, has great comedic timing and really, really obnoxious (in a good way!). you can always count on carlos with a keg!! known to be the party goer, all day every day, smooth with the ladies;))) got into trouble for hooking up with a senior’s girlfriend once dbhsjshsh and beck had to slap him silly for it. carlos looks up to muñeca so much that he often needs her advice and insights about pretty much everything. calls her mom sometimes, too. begs to miguel to never break up with her because otherwise he would lock him and muñeca in a room until they figure shit out.

and glen, isn’t exactly inspired by anyone tbh. i just needed one more frat guy that seems to be clueless about everything that’s happening around him HAHAHAHA. he gets pretty confused about how to function during parties sometimes, prefer sitting back in the corner with a drink instead so he doesn’t have to socialize. he gets pretty awkward around girls, but that doesn’t stop them from fawning over him. extremely athletic and skilled in football. that’s why he gets recruited instead of having to try out.

he loves trying out different sports. so if you ever to date him, get ready for very productive dates!

oh and their face claims!! in case you guys are wondering

beck:

glen:

carlos :

#frat!miguel

[thelunarfairy]

Omg I love your analysis they're THE BEST thing to read in freetime- like- they give such an insight to the story, it's always interesting!

Also can I just talk about Nene?!?! SHES SO COOL WJSJSJ ESPECIALLY IN THE RECENT CHAPTERS-

I've never been the type to hate characters or people unnecessarily. If I do dislike them, there's some reason or its just their vibe or attitude. The thing is I've never faced that with Nene. She has that childish type of personality with a sense of maturity we can say? Idk how to explain that- but she's so imaginative, and it makes me so sad how boys shoot her down because of her legs- SHES LEGIT SO PRETTY WHY- I also read that Nene analysis of yours as to why she's still being dreamy about boys when she was kissed by Hanako. Always makes me sad- MY GIRL DESERVES THE BEST-

The best thing about Nene is that she's determined and brave. Once she sets her mind on doing something, she actually manages to do it. Take that one panel for example with Nene and tsukasa, where she's getting chased by him and she swiftly ducks while that one thing hits him in the face. I always thought that was such a cool move. And I'm always so proud of seeing her go through character development. Who would believe that the Nene in the first chapter and the Nene in the recent chapters are the same- it's not even the personality change, it's the maturity level. I'm always screaming things like "SHES SO COOL SHES SUCH A GIRLBOSS" because she's IS one.

Man I'm one of hell of a Nene supporter, she's a bit naive but she's still mature enough. Makes me feel like we don't have the exact idea of what she feels most of the times. My girl has suffered in her own way.

I also really wanna know about her background! I'm pretty sure we haven't talked much about her parents right? I would love to see them sometime in the chapters since we already got mother reveal of kou, hanako and Mitsuba.

Awww thank you for your kindness ♡

I love it when you all say you like the posts hahaha because I love making them :3

How excited are you to talk about Nene! I liked it!

Hahaha I'm not the type to hate characters either, I like to appreciate every detail of their personality, even if they are terrible. Don't get me wrong, but I like to see whether a character is well constructed or not, regardless of whether he is a villain or a "hero", I will speak in these words so as not to prolong it.

Personally, I always thought that Yashiro was very wronged. I've seen many people saying that they don't feel affection for her because of the way she treats Hanako, in short, because she doesn't reciprocate Hanako's feelings in the same way or because she still feels attracted to other boys.

What happens is that Hanako has become the public's favorite, Nene is left out next to him, people will always care about him first. Damn, Nene was kissed by Tsukasa without her consent! Who did people focus on first?

Hanako, the poor boy crying inconsolably because his little brother kissed and kidnapped the girl he likes, but what about Yashiro? She was the one who was forcibly kissed, she was the one who was kidnapped. Baby Nene clearly shows how unhappy she is but no one seems to care!

"Look Yashiro is so annoying as a baby, Tsukasa is putting up with so much!"

But how did they want her to react???? She was kissed by force, she was kidnapped, she was forced to "play" with Tsukasa with the threat that he would rip off her arm (we don't know if he meant it literally because Tsukasa is Tsukasa, right) she had a part of her life stolen and is still being forced to remove the yorishiros even though she knows that if she does so she will die.

And people still expect her to react well to this? Can you understand how wronged Yashiro is? I really like the characters but I like to be fair to everyone, EVERYONE.

Yashiro has a very strong comedic side, so many bad things that happen to her end up going that way, people find it funny or think she is doing something wrong and everything bad that happens to her is because she deserves it. This is complicated, because it shows how people are failing to understand how she is developing in the story.

I'm glad you brought up Yashiro, because you were literally the first person who asked about her without having anything to do with Hanako. She is one of the protagonists and almost no one sees the potential she has. Yashiro has all these qualities you mentioned.

Yashiro is brave and protective, how many times have you seen her protecting Hanako?

She is selfless and Hanako knows that, he hid that he was going to sacrifice Aoi because he knew she would be against it, she went there not only to find Hanako, but also so that her best friend would stay alive. Yashiro took the blame in Hanako's place, since this was all his idea.

As well-intentioned as he was with Nene, it wasn't the right way. And since Hanako was unable to fulfill Nene's wish of prolonging her own life, she gives herself up for good, even though she doesn't really want to die. This arc in number 6 shows how selfless Yashiro is, she didn't have a grudge against Aoi when she threw her into that pit, she didn't tell Hanako that Sumire was a yorishiro because she knew he was going to tell her to remove it, she asked Hanako letting Sumire leave the village with them so she could have a new life, she refused until the end to remove Sumire's seal, do I need to list more than that?

Sumire herself says that Yashiro is too good to be able to remove the seal. Sakura had to show her what happened because Nene didn't remove the seal and Nene deeply regretted it because she didn't know it would end like this.

But people are worried because Yashiro thinks other boys are cute….

The girl went to a ghost as a last solution to find a handsome boyfriend to PROVE to the other guys who rejected her that she is also attractive. Her self-esteem is low, there is always someone making fun of her legs that she suffers so much and is insecure about, she is not envious of Aoi, even though her best friend is so beautiful and almost all the guys are interested in her.

Just put yourself in her shoes, can you imagine having to go and beg a supernatural person to have a boyfriend? She's always trying to learn things that boys like just so they'll look at her. Yashiro has his own problems, his own complexes and pains. I think it's sad that people haven't realized this.

She's developing, she's in love for the first time in her life, and her first love is a ghost boy who won't be able to offer her what a human can. But she insisted, didn't she? She is learning that looks are not everything, that there are many boys out there who think she is beautiful but she doesn't care because she wants to prove to people that even though she has those legs, she is still attractive, the way she finds to do that is thus.

Of course Yashiro has her bad sides, and that's a good thing. What kind of character would she be if she were perfect? The important thing is not for the character to be good all the time, but rather to make a lot of mistakes and learn from those mistakes. This is how a well-constructed character works. I see her development, she said she wouldn't get involved with someone who wasn't her type, but look who she's in love with. And now she takes over. You understand?

We see Yashiro's weaknesses all the time, and we're seeing her develop too. I think the main problem for people not to notice this is precisely the "comic" factor, you see, when they talk about Hanako's past, we have that air of seriousness, of sadness, that heavy air.

When it comes to talking about how Yashiro feels about boys, self-esteem, her legs, or how she feels about having to change to attract boys or something like that, it always has that "comical" air.

Look, she hates being called radish legs, let's call her that, it's funny. Have you ever imagined if people spent the whole time making jokes about the characteristic that you are most insecure about yourself?

It's funny when it's with others? But imagine if they made fun of Hanako or judged him all the time for killing his brother?

It wouldn't be nice, would it?

People get angry because Yashiro says Hanako isn't her type or when she comically refuses his advances, and they still get angry because poor Hanako can't be rejected by her.

Did you see the difference?

Hanako can make fun of Yashiro, call her a radish, everyone laughs, but Nene can't refuse Hanako's flirtations, because she doesn't deserve the love he offers her. Hahaha it's really funny when you clearly see who people's favorite is. That's because I didn't even mention him wanting to imprison her in a false world, or sacrifice her best friend… It doesn't matter, they will always find justifications for Hanako's actions.

Look, I love Hanako a lot, but we have to face the reality of the facts, imagine this in the real world. The boy you like wants to kill your best friend to save you. Do you understand how dangerous this is? People forget that Hanako is a dangerously charismatic boy, his attitudes send off a very high red alert, what he does is not justifiable, as he himself says! He knows this, the public has to understand it too!

Hanako has good intentions, he wants to save the girl he loves, but he goes about it the wrong way!!!

Saving someone's life by killing another???? Is this right?

But, to be completely fair, what bothers me most about Yashiro is that she still remains "friends" with Teru. It doesn't make sense after everything that has happened in these recent events. At this point I hope she wakes up and stops letting him hang around, and of course, stops flirting with him too, although Yashiro does this to make Hanako jealous, did you notice that? I hope so haha

Anyway, I thought the answer would be shorter hahaha but I was really excited to finally have a question about Yashiro! \O/

Yes! I'm curious to know about her family, she is a Kannagi and has unique powers, she can remove seals and purify. It means we'll learn more about her past in the future! I agree with you, I also really like Yashiro, one of the female characters that I find most fun.

I hope people give her more chances. She is a good girl who has her flaws but also her own qualities, like anyone else in the world hahah

I hope you liked it! Thanks for the ask! ♡

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #amane yugi #hanakokun #jshk #jshk spoilers #tbhk #aidairo #yugi twins #nene yashiro #yashiro nene #tbhk yashiro #jshk yashiro #hanako x yashiro #hanako anime #jshk hanako #tbhk hanako #hanako x nene #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #tbhk manga #yugi amane #yashiro

[katyspersonal]

Roderika and Nepheli are really cute as a ship imo. I love how Nepheli mentions her in one of her dialogues, meaning that they at least interacted at some point. I know it's a small detail to base a ship around, but I do think they might be very neat together. What are your thoughts?

It IS a cute ship! I have not seen it very often, actually but it is probably because all two of my ER mutuals reblog either Finlenia or Yura x Eleanora sdfhfd I am sure it exists somewhere, because Nepheli acknowledging Roderika is very good at perceiving spirits "unlike her" not only implies having interacted, but also points out how they are different. I really love ships in which characters are 'opposites' in a way that complete one another, whereas being similar at their core, big fan. And? They are fitting the description! Nepheli is a strong, tough warrior that points out she can't even feel the spirits, let alone see them, whereas Roderika is naturally drawn to them and good at spirit tuning whereas having "never held a sword in her life"; but at the same time they are both sensitive and vulnerable emotionally while trying to be strong! Roderika says she is 'just a coward' for being scared of the idea of her limbs being cut off, Nepheli says she is 'pathetic' for being heartbroken about her father betraying her... There is just something similar to this, the whole vibe of having enough emotions but not being "weak" for that I keep trying to grasp (because I LOVE it).

🦅 Nepheli though rolls into blaming herself for Gideon being the worst father ever, as if she "failed" him and it served her right, while also hesitantly seeing through his injustice, and I feel like Roderika would be the one to recognize this pain and detrimental effect Gideon can have on psyche of even very strong and level-headed people and try to approach her about it? They DID interact, right. Roderika IS anxious and hesitant, but also has very good intuition for good and evil it seems, so Nepheli's strong appear as this... barbaric, no-bullshit warrior would not intimidate her. She'd see Nepheli's kind and good heart beneath it even before once talking to her! Basically, I feel like their talk happened from Roderika having been concerned, in the 'Sorry if that's not my business but do you need to vent' manner!

🎐 In fact, the contrast between Nepheli's "he betrayed me and killed and oppressed the weak but it is probably my fault... right" vs Roderika's "I sense very bad vibes from a person all the opposite way in the Rountable who is not even physically here" feels like a nearly-comedic potential for me! x) Roderika is good at identifying the bad guy, when Nephelis is good at taking the bad guy down! I just imagine Roderika being like "Get 'em, baby!" in the duo, sending Nepheli to obliterate the bastard with her axes fsdhdf They could've done so much combining their strenghts and compensating for each other's weaker points hahaha. Dangerous duo (in a good sense)

🦅 They are THE "She asked for NO pickles!" meme and you KNOW it, lol

🎐 Lowkey sad though that this ship doesn't have enough 'breathing room' within canon: Nepheli gets her spirits lifted up because of a bird spirit ash and not Roderika (sure she'd credit her for help and not only Tarnished otherwise) and is always off to travel, whereas Roderika is pretty much glued to the Roundtable... It is all videogame mechanics restrictions. SO yeah, we need an Elden Ring anime where useful NPCs do not have to be area-restricted and after Roderika feels more qualified, she and Nepheli can become wandering girlfriends that get a lot of adventures and appear to help Tarnished when it is plot-convenient x) (for some reason, all my suggestions for more interaction boil down to 'if ER/BB was an anime, ...')

🦅 Roderika is rather eloquent, when Nepheli is a woman of a few words, so I am sure they fall for the dynamics of 'wall of text vs just listens and smiles' too! Nepheli would not understand all that many of Roderika's interests personally and she is not the type of an ethusiatic listener that asks many questions or always has something to add, but, she would remember every single think Roderika shared and care about it (some times, even more than Roderika herself). Nepheli is a type of a partner to remember a thing Roderika said 'casually' like months ago, or get her something she mentioned liking as a gift.. Roderika would not really know how anyone is able to navigate in how many things she's sharing so easily :')

🎐 Nepheli might be really stoic person, actually, capable of swallowing so much grief and loss and get up after everything that happens to her, but Roderika would sorta get through this attitude. Like, Nepheli would absolutely LOSE it if someone hurt Roderika. I feel like Nepheli might even worry a little upon realizing that with all the friends lost in battle or slain by enemies she had to grieve in a lifetime, losing Roderika would actually destroy her. She'd wonder if her identity as a warrior gave a crack for that one, at first! It is just scary to get so 'open', when a warrior must be self-sufficient and prepared to lose friends and comrades by default! And love is a bit... different. But I think the girls would be capable of communicating about it, and Nepheli would accept that she found someone to hold as dear as to have her life (mentally) depend on them... Not without insisting that Roderika gets at least SOME training in battle, so she can stand for herself IF Nepheli can't be near. Be an archer or a wizard if she can't hold meelee weapon at least!

🦅 Going back to Nepheli having her perception blurred when the enemy is not apparent, with Roderika having intuition for bad vibes. I imagine if Nepheli mentioned Gideon's friend, Seluvis, Roderika would be instantly able to reveal to her that "hey, that actually was a creep behavior"... They have a base for accidentally uncovering bad experiences (if not traumas) Nepheli never even realized consciously yet still took psychological damage from, and getting through them together. There would be certainly a bunch of cans of worms upon how Gideon was raising her, but not just that. "It was emotional abuse / creep behaviour" are the WORST realizations, but also with a right person it could help to heal some things that were bugging you for years but you just.. could not point out. I also imagine Roderika would be the one and only person that ever saw Nepheli cry - from one of such talks..

🎐 I think Nepheli actually holds Roderika in higher regard over the fact that Roderika is anxious, and can even be very cowardly and undecisive by her own admission, yet finds resource within herself to forgive her weaknesses and "atone" for indecisiveness by being useful otherwise. Nepheli would normally condemn the trait of giving into fear and hesitating when something important should be done (which I imagine is Roderika's consistent flaw and not just 'I am scared of being literally chopped to pieces because it is a normal thing for Soulsborne NPC to say' sdfhfhdfsdh). But Nepheli could see the internal struggle and wish to still persist, flaws or not. THAT mattered. She was quick to respect this attitude; in fact, she DID find it comparable with someone realizing they are not physically fit for melee fight and opting out to help in other ways, as healer or archer or something.

🦅 I am kinda diving into Psychology TM a lot here, I just think ER characters are written with particularly a lot to work with (Martin was that your effect? xd). But as for RELATIONSHIP-relationship, they both can't be less interested in sex. Undecided whether they're asexual or just 'too into spirituality / battle to care', probably both of these, but yes, overall it is just hugs and kisses. I just can't help but imagine their mutual attraction being mostly 'god I would LOOK the hell out of you' xd I think Nepheli would really like to hug Roderika, not only to share affection but sometimes because it is her emotional support spirit-tuner x) But Roderika is more 'kisses' person. She especially likes giving cheek or forehead kisses.

🎐 Overall, I think they are doing QUITE healthy and good for people that did not have real relationship experience prior? Nepheli was just not the type to take it further than blushing when she'd see a pretty girl and.. that was it. Well, maybe a couple of times, when she was little, she'd try to "flirt" by slaying a scary monster and bringing it's claw/tooth/etc to the girl she'd try to court, which they really did not get xD I picture Dolores being around and that little Nepheli would ask her what she was doing wrong... Dolores would say that it was a "perfect" way to flirt but the girls were just too young to get it yet, and Nepheli was too ahead xddd Roderika would attempt relationship as a teen a couple of times, and quit both of them upon hesitating and estimating she was not good enough for that person. Low self-esteem was hitting her harder in younger age. What I am saying is that sometimes when the first 'real' relationship only happens in adulthood, there are plenty of conflicts to wade through as people don't know what to do... but these two I imagine clicked naturally, and things went rather swell?

_______________

Thank you for an ask! Sorry it took some while, I tend to be sorta slow at the answers ъ_ъ"

#ask replies #elden ring #nepheli loux #roderika spirit tuner #nephelika #(sorry if that's a wrong ship name feel free to correct me if I am wrong!) #doodles

[nobodysdaydreams]

THE WOLF359 CAST IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND I LOVE THIS! (or my reaction to the Wolf359 Live Show)

"Another Wolf359 reaction already? But Bods, I thought you said you were busy?" Yes indeed I am my friends, if I wasn't busy, I would have finished the podcast by now. In my younger days, I did all of ATLA in a weekend. Sadly at this age, I can't be doing that kind of bingeing. I'm also tired, because I've been studying all day and figured why not take a little break and watch the Wolf359 Live Show?

I firstly wanted to give a shoutout to @commsroom for not only telling me about when to watch the live show (after episode 26), but also telling me that it is on youtube where you can watch it live so thank you so much!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Wolf359 Live Show Reaction:

"First ever life show" - are there other live shows?

Oh okay this is very helpful. So it's in the middle of Episode 26, so right in the middle of what I just listened to, that makes a lot more sense.

I honestly don't care about the audio quality difference this is amazing.

Uh...pretty sure Cutter is not the forces of good... see Doug this is why you always read the fine print! It's like that ominous song...the one that was a tik tok audio? The one about an evil corporation in space? I think it might have been video game music? You guys know what I'm talking about please tell me I didn't imagine this.

YES THE ONE COPY OF HOME ALONE 2 COMES BACK!

PLEASE- the way Doug is telling the story is the way I tell stories "Hilbert strikes back: specifically Doug's circulatory system" 😂

"Palpatine MD" 😂

I love how they enter in as their characters are introduced.

I love Hera though it is weird to hear her voice clear without coming through the intercoms.

Zach is doing a fantastic job I love how he's moving around Minkowski to play both Hilbert and Doug 😂 and he's doing a great job switch characters.

Lovelace!

I love how he crosses over to whisper to Hera, I can just see Doug's character whispering into her intercom or in the general direction of the computer even though it doesn't make a difference to her.

I also like Hera's character position on stage away from the others, it's kind of symbolic.

"Team Eiffel's on the case" I have literally used the phrase "Detective Bods is on the case" multiple times on this blog, why do I relate so strongly to every ADHD character I come across sasjdkfjsl;kdfj;slk. Not the talking to himself too... NOT THEM LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACKGROUND...oh no...

I love how Hera says "yeah we're all here" when she's always there.

17 months Doug? Oh dear...

"No one told me it was my job" Valid Doug, valid, what you're told when you're spaced out doesn't count. ADHD rule #1. Oh she told him multiple times? Well maybe they could have written it down for him. Would that have been too much trouble?

Hilbert shut up.

Poor Hera. The way she shuts them down 😂

SHUT UP HILBERT. THANK YOU.

Oh not the Pyrce and Carter thing again. Do we ever get to meet Pryce and Carter? Do they work for Goddard Futuristics? Is this a NASA textbook? At first I thought she said something about a price and then "Cutter", and I was like "PLOT TWIST" but never mind it's just the tips book.

Minkowski's Lovelace impression 😂 HIS HERA IMPRESSION IS JUST A HIGH PITCHED VOICE. Hahaha...his Hilbert is hilarious. Her Doug impression. 😂

"No no she's Eiffel, that's impossible" This is perfect, and then the switch back to Hilbert. Comedic perfection. I love it so so much.

"Hilbert you're fine try to be less fine" I love Hera.

"Can I ask you to act like an adult?" "That's not my thing" the comedic timing of this is excellent.

"What do you even do here?" Hold Hilbert's Decima virus of course.

Comms line? With who?

PLEASE 😂OH MY GOODNESS CUTTER. The way he stands up from the audience with his smug little smile...

You just know he's been waiting his entire life to play a role like that. Honestly me too, so good for him for getting to live the dream. DID HE JUST PAT THE HEAD OF A RANDOM PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE. HE DID. HE EVEN HAS A SUIT.

"We'll break bread, we'll dance, we'll kiss-" Cutter man, I'm pretty sure you can't say that. I know that you're an evil corporation that murders people on the regular and unethically experiments on people in space so the law can't get you, but you don't even have one HR rep?

Another call Cutter? What deployment?

"He remotely destroys station, then goes on lunch break" Yep sounds like Cutter.

The way Cutters reenters... it's so dramatic I love it.

They are really gonna have to make sure their stories match.

Huh. "Communication problem of our own." I wonder what that could be Cutter? A little issue at Command?

"Alone at last" That sounds creepy Cutter.

Oh so Cutter worships at the alter of the Pryce and Carter manual too. Maybe he forced them to write the book and killed them. Maybe he wrote it under two pen names to make it sound more legit. Either way I can't imagine him memorizing anyone's book but his own.

CUTTER'S ASKING ABOUT HER FAMILY? oh he's threatening her. IS HE THREATENING HER FAMILY?

They are very low on toothpaste.

"I want to help in every way I can, but I can only do that if I know what's going on" Cutter I hope you die. Painfully. Very slowly and very painfully, and if it doesn't happen in the show, I'll write it into a fic.

Oh he's speaking to Hera now because of what she said... that's interesting. Cutter didn't think of Hera as a person or member of the crew before he realized that Minkowski did.

Doug is me cramming for my exams. DOUG IF ITS NOT A VIDEO CALL YOU CAN WRITE STUFF DOWN.

Or fake an illness.

Oh dear poor Hera.

"Manufacturing errors." I hope that doesn't mean anything bad for those robots, otherwise that has to be sad for Hera to hear.

Okay...I love how Hera and some of the other actors look straight at the audience like they can't see Cutter, but Cutter looks directly at them as if he can see them. It adds so much to the creep factor.

Oh my gosh that manual again. Why is he obsessed with it?

"You'd be shocked at how much I know about the Hephaestus" Cutter knows everything.

AND DO NOT CALL HERA PATHETIC.

Oh my gosh Hera talked back to him for a second. I think she's the only one who ever does thus far, which is odd considering all her code that stops her from doing that.

"A real person" THAT CROSSES A LINE CUTTER.

"I don't know if someone like you can understand this. We're trying to change everyone's lives" CUTTER SHUT UP. YOU ARE THE ONE WITHOUT A SOUL YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK.

YES HERA TALK BACK TO HIM.

Hera's memory files? Personality setting? oh never mind...this is awful that he can just go in like that. Maybe that's why he programmed her with the ability and personality that would talk back to him. So that he can get the truth from someone he can easily destroy.

"The people who made you decided you were a mistake, and you were so desperate to rise above who- what you are" Who made Hera? Are they important? Or did Cutter just scrape her up from a tech company that didn't want her? And Cutter "correcting" himself on that line I hope he's blown into space.

"Don't you dare" wow Hera's still talking back. "You have no idea." DID SHE JUST CONFESS THAT HILBERT IS STILL ALIVE. Oh Hera...

"To err is human" oh dear...

Doug looks terrified. Me too buddy.

It's okay Hera. You deserve better.

"I'm sick!" I love that.

Cutter's like wow, I should have started with him.

The way he puts his hand on Doug's shoulder as if they are in the room together, like he has a way to reach them even if they can't get back to earth, I love the choices the actor's are making.

He knows that Doug doesn't know Pryce and Carter. He's been listening in on him. For sure. Bro. Not everyone has read your manifesto that you by this point probably ghost wrote under two fake names and declared the best book of all time. It's like when a professor uses their own text book, I've heard this song and dance before.

Cutter. Doug should have memorized it but YOU HIRED HIM. He is CLEARLY in no way qualified for this line of work. YOU know that. YOU'RE using him as a science experiment. If I knew my professor was using me for lab science that could kill me at any second, do you think I'd waste time studying for their pop quiz on silly tips?

"How did Renee stop him?" Just say that it was all a blur Doug.

"Getting around security protocols, tricking a multiple PhD...stellar Doug" "Thank you?" Doug that's not a good thing. A target is on your back right now.

Not the arm on his shoulder again. Cutter for SURE killed their HR rep and their IRB rep, and ethics department.

"I would have had to skin you alive" There is no "had to" here Cutter.

3 seconds or incredibly painful things will start happening. WHAT THINGS?

DOUG HOW DID YOU FUMBLE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE JUST PRETENDED YOU WERE NERVOUS BECAUSE YOU FAILED. YOU HAD THE PERFECT OUT RIGHT THERE.

"I got the feeling that I would be the same convo you and I just had" I love the fourth wall break.

Oh dear. LOVELACE YOU BETTER BE QUIET. NO NOT ALL THE STUFF DOUG YOU AT LEAST KEPT LOVELACE QUIET. DON'T BLOW THAT TOO.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I want to help you?" Get. Them. Back. To. Earth.

Cutter's little schoolboy laugh. Oh yikes. He's mad now.

Good job Doug, take the fall. Good solider. No, what are you doing, just say you forgot, don't say you kept information from him intentionally. Faking incompetence is so much easier when you actually are incompetent.

The ultimate sacrifice. He will memorize Cutter's stupid textbook.

"If you keep anything from me again, holiday's over..." I don't like it.

"I want to know the second anything new happens with those transmissions".

Haha...well as a matter a fact, after that last episode...

Exactly. Shut up Hilbert.

Yeah the book is unusually dark. Pryce and Carter have clearly been through some stuff, or it's Cutter being ominous with his ghost written book. At this point, he either wrote it under fake names, or he's a Pryce and Carter fanboy. (Is it spelled Pryce or Price, I just realized I have no idea. I've heard of the last name Pryce, so I'd assume that's how it's spelled?).

"Did I mention that I'm sick"

Careful what you wish for.

Well that was amazing. I loved the way the cast used the space to make the characters come alive, the way they moved, the choices they made, it all fit really well. I really enjoyed watching this. It brought me back to when I used to do high school theater. I kinda of miss it. Hilbert, Cutter, and Doug are exactly the kind of overdramatic and unhinged roles I always loved playing (that is if I was lucky enough to have a director who went for gender bent casting, we as a society really need more comedic relief and unhinged women roles with crazy accents). Although I did once win a medal at state in middle school for a 10 minute monologue that was very much in the tone of Minkowski. I was playing a babysitter.

And ask the show said: back to work. Thanks everyone for listening, I hope you enjoyed my reaction. Only two more episodes left in season two so we should be done soon. Excited to see what comes next!

#bods wolf359 reactions #w359 liveshow #wolf359 live show #w359 #hera w359 #wolf359 #wolf 359 #isabel lovelace #hera wolf 359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #alexander hilbert #wolf359 reactions #w359 reaction #w359 reactions #wolf 359 reactions

[ipegchangbin]

this is so sudden but I am having THOUGHTS and your account seems like the perfect place to, as you put it, ask, sin, and confess

the way your write sub!skz is so big brain of you thank u for your service 🫡

anyways am definitely not thinking about how badly I wanna tie up lino’s thighs to a chair as well as wrap rope so tightly around his torso that his chest is perfectly on display hahaha also not thinking about how I wanna do the above and then tease him until his voice is sore and he’s dripping in sweat

also read your tying up skz and attaching a vibrator to them and the way that perfectly fits sub!seungmin… absolutely feral

the thing is, I wouldn’t consider myself a dom but I do want lino and seungmin and hyunjin and han to be subs for me (especially lino and seungmin I want to break their resolves like yes big bad boys, beg for me)

okay hope you have a good day byeee 🫶

thank you for sinning and confessing with this ask, youve come to the right place 🫡 though im sorry for the late reply!

i just want to run my mouth for a moment about minho and seungmin in ropes because i can’t stop thinking about it either.

minho’s body is just the right amount of buff: he’s curvy and sturdy in all of the best places, so it’s such a delightful sight to see his chest pop out of the ropes. the curves of his thighs would be interrupted by the thick string snaking around it, leaving a dip in the middle and pushing his skin around in such a way that you want to bite it. he basks in the way you look at him, too.

even after untying him, the marks are still evident across his skin, and it makes you feel like your activities from last night never ended.

they really don’t end, not when you’re dragging your fingers across his legs absentmindedly. you do that all the time and he usually doesn’t mind, so it surprises you just as much as it surprises him when he yelps. he’s hoping you don’t notice, but that simple action left him half-hard already.

as for seungmin, i truly believe that this comedic sadist is a sexual masochist. he loves it when you tie him a bit tighter sometimes, leaving him unable to really fight back even if he’s desperate for some semblance of release. to think that this boy, usually quiet around others, is screaming your name alongside conflicting lines of “please stop!” and “keep going!” drives you crazy — just not as much as it gets him delirious.

he doesn’t admit it often but he likes the way he looks in restraints with a vibrator on him. he thinks he’s pretty and loves it when you say so.

you could tease him and contest his patience. he loves indulging in your games, making you do whatever the hell you want until his voice is raspy, until he’s heaving and weakly clinging onto you in the middle of aftercare. rough or not, he finds pleasure in what you do to him.

as a bonus, han and hyunjin would love this sort of treatment too. we all know that well: they’re toned but they’d turn fragile from even the slightest of teases. either boy would look at you with pretty eyes and start whining for some sort of pleasure. look away once and they’re already thinking of ways to bend your rules just to be pleased by their most wonderful dom. as you said though, you’d rather break their resolves if they broke your rules. ^^

p.s. thank you for sending this in!! and to say my sub!skz brain is big is a HUGE compliment omfg .. slip into the dom life with us you wont regret it ^_^

#skz smut #sub!skz #sub!minho #sub!lee know #sub!seungmin #HEHEHEH I FEEL A LIL EVIL FOR WRITING THIS #<3 🫶 anon #💌 ipeginbox #💬 z is writimg

[dalaamclouds]

Hidehiko “Brown” Uesugi pages from the Megami Ibunroku Persona club book (1997)

Next: Eriko Kirishima

Last: Yuka Ayase

Notes and certain translation explanations under read more -

Brown’s scribbles in case they are be hard to read:

I can’t just let you have a copy of all my secret data!

Birthday - Japan’s New Year. It’s 1/1, of course!

Sign - Asakusa France Club. My sign’s pretty old, no?

Blood Type - 4A-G. Seems like I have a car engine in me! Nah, the truth is I’m type-O.

Favorite Food - Hay. Though, I guess I also like hamburgers and curry.

Favorite Color - Brown, duh…

Fashion of Choice - I always look good no matter what I wear, unlike Mark.

Subscription - I read Bombom just to make fun of it! I swear!

Family Members - An ultra mom, dad, and king (me)

Hobby/Special Skill - Persona Wonderful Bomber

Personal Accessory - I feel I should trade the goggles out for something else soon. Though, I still love showing off my boots.

What do you do in your spare time? - I strive for world peace!

Wild how these boots neglected the tide of the times! They’ve withheld 62,000 kilometers!

I have such beautiful legs! Like that of a woman!! But that should be obvious, hmm? Hahaha!

Gotta wear a watch to make sure I don’t miss my date with a cutie!

Nothing beats my amazing style! Or should I say my good looks!!

Head: Well, I can’t lose to Mark. Bahahaha!!

Hair: You know my hair’s actually a wig, right? I gotta replace it with a new one every day. Maybe I’ll get a mohawk next.

Eyes: 200

Heart: Very healthy! Loving

Skin: My skin is so so so so so soft because I take great care of it every day! Why not give it a feel?

Body: Special Excellent Super Ultra Nice Body - Looks like I’m impossible to measure!! (Forgot to write this last part in; oops )

Height: 57 Meters

Weight: 550 Tons

Bust-Waist-Hip Measurements: 99.9/55.5/88.8 It seems I’m Fujiko Mine. Sorry… that was a lie.

Intellect: [Quick] <- crossed out

Underwear: Ah, so tight, I’m bulging out of this bikini bottom!! I’m a Calvin Klein kind of guy, could you tell? Pretty sexy, right?

Fujiko: Lupin <3

Foot Size: Jurokumon kick!!

Sock Color: Of course, they’re brown.

If it’s not brown, it doesn’t matter to the marvelous me

Super hero / Great Dangerous Cool Guy Brown-sama !!!

Star Sign Meaning: An old performing arts theater in the special wards of Tokyo. It’s mostly known for being a theater for various performances (mostly comedy) with the history of having originally been a strip theater. Brown here is making a pun in the original Japanese as the Japanese name for the theater is “浅草フランス座” which directly translated is “浅草 Asakusa (the location of the theater) フランス France (the name of the original strip club that was here; france is used a lot in various places in the world to symbolize sexuality and/or promiscuity e.g. french kissing) 座 Place”. The character 座 can mean both place or an ender for star constellations; like 天秤座 (libra). Brown is using the Toyokan theater specifically for this joke because it ends with 座 like star constellations do, while also alluding to something with a sexual comedic history.

Reading of Choice: monthly Japanese manga magazine targeted at elementary-school aged boys. Each issue was around 700+ pages. Was discontinued in 2007.

Hobby/Special Skill: a reference to “Super Ultra Great Delicious Wonderful Bomber”. A move by the character Rocky Hada from the 80’s manga The Burning Wild Man.

Foot Size: 16キック 16文キック（じゅうろくもんキック) The 16-sentence kick (Jurokumon kick) is a type of professional wrestling technique and is classified as a kicking technique. Famously used by Giant Baba. This is a joke playing with a wrestling name that involves a unit of measurement and the use of feet.

Above Name/General: Brown is writing these long titles to make him seem like a Shonen-hero, as in Japanese they often have very long exaggerated names.

[Page 2]

Koitsu/コイツ - a phrase Brown shouts in the Japanese version of the game which translated roughly to “Hey, you!” in a bit of a more vulgar, rough way.

[Page 7]

US Brad: I think Satomi is annoyed because Brown’s name is already in English and they could still use the same story with the Japanese “name” but they didn’t keep it.

#persona #persona 1 #megami ibunroku persona #club book #hidehiko uesugi #translation #brown

[wileys-russo]

Heya!

I’m Irish and I just was scrolling through your blog bc I absolutely adore your fics…genuinely think you’re one of the best woso writers out there 🙂 Anywho, I just read that you watch Derry girls… and I just find that so funny.

Do you use subtitles to understand the northern Irish accent? Or is it easy to understand? I’m Irish but from the south and sometimes even I struggle with understanding it fully 😂 What do you make of the series? Sorry you don’t have to answer I just find it so interesting to understand other peoples perspectives about it! I love that so many people love it :)

bahah i have subtitles on with everything personally but not really! one of my best mates is from ireland and she's lived here for years now so i feel like thats sort of helped my understanding? i def need a translator for what some of the words actually mean though hahaha

i love it! i've watched it front to back easily 15 times it makes me properly belly laugh and i think they do such a good job balancing accurate historic storytelling/political issues with comedic relief and i genuinely enjoy all the characters and plots. i wish i had a principle like sister michael with her dry ass humour

[demonslayedher]

Things that charged through my mind with a kitchen knife while watching this episode:

--this episode is ------SO FUNNY

--The comedic timing, the changes in BGM, letting the voice actors go wild, it's so good

--the Haganezuka & Kanamori scene especially, they let that scene live a whole life of its own, and it makes me so excited to see them again --the comedic timing and shifts in tone, like Tanjiro sounding like he's an 8-year-old and then the moment he picks up on Haganezuka's murderous intent, Haganezuka taking the moment to leave the precious sword in Kanamori's arms so that he can charge with a knife, the inflection on Haganezuka's statements as he finger-stabs Tanjiro's cheek, the change in Kanamori's tone as he goes from total opposite of everyone in this series with his utter calm and then his ballistic (and well deserved) anger, the way Inosuke pauses to stare back at him AND THEN JUST DEMOLISHES THE SECOND SWORD ANYWAY

--Okay but also, Shinobu, you know she had waaaay too much fun "encouraging" Inosuke and Zenitsu. That was precisely the result she knew she'd get. The way that first pat on Inosuke's shoulder echoes through the dojo? AHAHAHAHA, IT'S SO GOOD. Also, once again, total lack of respect for personal space as she comes in all familiar with Tanjiro as though he's her own little brother. Speaking of, I have always, always loved the comedic timing on her conversation with Tanjiro and how well it sets up his upcoming connection to Rengoku. She truly cares a lot about Tanjiro and absolutely means it when she says she expects great things from him.

--No one expects him to be a good teacher, though. It is so laughable how much faster Zenitsu & Inosuke learn to do constant Total Concentration Breathing once Shinobu teaches them. Tanjiro's BOOM BOOM is one of the best lines Hanae Natsuki has ever delivered, but he has so much range in this episode and it is great, right down to the intensity of when he takes on Kanao in what's nearly battle. And those squeaky violins in the BGM as he poorly explains it? Hahaha, I love it. Also, two things that get in my Kamado Tanjiro feels are that he states by whole-heartedly proclaiming that his faith in Inosuke & Zenitsu to pick this technique up right away--he KNOWS their abilities and KNOWS they pick things up without the same amount of effort Tanjiro has to expend, and the effort Tanjiro puts into this technique truly makes it feel earned. He knows he's hard-headed and it takes that amount of time and effort before he gets something and can make it a part of himself, but teh fact that he never gives up and just gets started right away on that effort is so respectable. The second thing? He's using a line he learned from Makomo, those are her words!!

--What is Inosuke even doing with the broom balancing act?

--This conversation between Zenitsu & Chuntaro is some of my favorite filler

--Once again, we get a nice filler scene with Tanjiro talking to Nezuko, and in advance of the series' conclusion, reminding us that he needs to defeat as many powerful demons as he can so he can send that blood to Tamayo for Nezuko's cure. What I love is that it still bothers him that Nezuko sleeps so long and she gets worried if she doesn't wake up sometimes. On my first thought I was like, "sheesh, another convenient long nap to let Oniichan do his thing" but nowadays I'm like, "AWWWW, NEZUKO IS IN TRAINING TOOOOO." Granted, it's because of Ufotable's choice to give Nezuko her own room (a former Tsuguko's room? Kanae's room? Hospital VIP private room?) in which to set this Tanjiro orations that the scene of Zenitsu talking to Nezuko in her box had to be sacrificed. But hey, maybe she liked to sit in the both during the day sometimes to be closer to everybody, only to be all alone anyway because Oniichan was outside training! And we do know she was awake at least sometimes, as she Zenitsu cared for her entertainment needs by stealing goldfish and taking her own to see nighttime blooming flowers (in the light novels, that chapter was set during this period if I remember correctly).

--Forgot to mention this in the previous episode, but Zenitsu's mouth covered in crumbs and Inosuke covered in leaves and dirt reminds me how much I love the Taisho Secret in the previous episode when it's heavily implied through Tanjiro & Shinobu's innocent conversation that Shinobu is pissed off about Zenitsu & Inosuke's behavior while they're not in training, and how in the background they're like, "OH NO"

--Okay, so, this episode is about Kanao. Ufotable once again shows they can make excellent character-driven filler scenes, that moment when Shinobu suggests she go off and join her silly batchmates in training and Kanao's like, "let me go consult with my coin" was such a good set-up for the coin thing, and gave us such a good moment to get inside her head and artfully work in the Kanao flashback which appeared in the manga in the middle of the Mugen Train arc. The silent pauses on Kanao say so much, especially in an episode with such high energy in every other scene. Kanao may not know it, but we the viewers who know Kanao better than she yet knows herself can see that she was conflicted because she DID want to join the dumb batchmates.

--The flashback, oh my gosh, the flashback, I was already so weak and loving Shinobu more and more and more with every single scene she was in and then they gave me THIS and I was like, "!!!!!!!! THE REAL SHINOBU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

--But also… THE CUP!! THE CUP ON THE HEAD!!! OH MY GOODNESS, AHAHAHAHAH, IT'S SO GOOD, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, AND THEN SHE JUST SITS THERE WITH IT ON HER HEAD, KANAO, YOU ARE ADORABLE

#kny rewatch #my art #tsuyuri kanao #haganezuka hotaru