#matthias and his fjerda stories

[skepticalcatfrog]

Kerch, Ghezenism, and the Van Eck Family

The title pretty much sums it up. This is a rather extensive analysis, and to be honest with you all it is 2,500+ words. So get into this absolute beast at your own risk!

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From my experience in this fandom, I've seen it discussed very frequently how important religion is in the Grishaverse. Not only is it very deeply developed, to the point where many of the different countries have unique beliefs - which I'm not sure is seen very often in newer literature - but the various religious systems are also deeply important to many major characters, such as Matthias and Inej. However, one aspect of Grishaverse religions that seems to be overlooked somewhat often is the Kerch religion of Ghezenism. This may just be me, but I have a lot of thoughts on it. A big reason for that is that Wylan is, and always has been, my favorite character, and the culture surrounding Ghezen is actually a very important part of his character for many reasons. When you look into it in the way that I have, you discover that there are a lot of peculiar aspects of Ghezenism that make it stand out, as well as many ties that it has to major aspects of the story.

Right away, one thing that makes Kerch religion different from the others is how deeply connected to the economy it is. So much so that a lot of aspects of the two subjects are one and the same. Given that Ketterdam is a city largely fueled by commerce, it makes sense that Ghezenism would heavily tie into Kerch culture as well. Symbols of Ghezen can be found in many places throughout the city, even beyond the Church of Barter. A very good example of this is Vellgeluk, the island where the Crows meet Van Eck expecting to get their reward from the Ice Court heist: “Smugglers called it Vellgeluk, “good luck,” because of the paintings still visible around the base of what would have been the obelisk tower: golden circles meant to represent coins, symbols of favor from Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 44). This just goes to show how many people in Ketterdam, and the wider country of Kerch as well, put their faith in Ghezen. Vellgeluk is a chosen place for smugglers to do business, specifically because favors of Ghezen are still present there. 

Another interesting part of that passage is the fact that Ghezen is referred to as the god of industry and commerce. Kerch may have other gods, but as far as I can remember - and I may be wrong, but I don't think I am - we never hear about any of them. A similar situation can be found in Fjerda, where Djel is specifically the god of life, implying the existence of other gods. In Fjerda, it is very clear that Djel is mainly what they base their culture and belief system around. This makes perfect sense for a god of life, but isn't Ketterdam’s situation a bit more unusual? The most frequently discussed god, Ghezen, represents industry. We can assume Ghezen is the primary god within the Kerch religious system. Not to mention that their largest church is called the Church of Barter, barter obviously being a term that has much to do with economics. Ketterdam, if not the entire country of Kerch, seems to have no real concept of the separation of church and state. They quite literally hold auctions inside of the church; the auctioning of Kuwei is not a singular event.

The impacts of religion can also be seen in the culture and behavior of the people of Kerch, as seen in a brief section of Crooked Kingdom. “Kerch women—even the wealthy ones—didn’t bother with anything as frivolous as embroidery or needlepoint. Ghezen was better served by tasks that benefited the household,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). Obviously, things like this are much more typical of religion. But I would argue that even this holds traces of the same values expressed by the connection between Ghezenism and the economy. It is specifically mentioned here that Kerch women are encouraged to participate in tasks that will “benefit the household”. This displays one of the very prominent aspects of the Ghezenite religion, which is that one of the most important things a person can do is be productive, and create a prosperous life for themselves and their family.

In addition to direct ties between Ghezenism and the Kerch economy, occasionally the legal system is put into the mix as well. While considering what consequences his father might face after the events of the auction, Wylan reveals this piece of information: “Knowingly entering into a false contract for the purpose of subverting the market wasn’t just illegal, it was considered blasphemy, a blight on the works of Ghezen, and the penalties were harsh,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 41). Essentially what he means by this is that not only is tampering with the economy against the law, but it is also heavily frowned upon in a religious sense, and anyone who does so will face punishment from both sides. This is extremely unique, even within the Grishaverse. This single sentence also reveals another very interesting thing about Kerch society. The market, as it exists in Ketterdam, is believed to be a creation of god - it is referred to here as being a part of the “works of Ghezen”. That, more than anything, is concrete proof of just how interconnected the economy of Kerch is with its primary religion. This also means that committing a crime such as Van Eck did isn't simply illegal (which we can assume he has no issues with), it is also an act that goes against his own religion. But stop to consider for a moment: does he really have a problem with that either?

There are numerous examples throughout both books of Van Eck blatantly abusing the values of his own religion. On its own, the teachings of Ghezenism aren't inherently bad. After all, things such as tampering with the market for your own gain are actively discouraged using the threat of blasphemy, which I'd say is generally beneficial. The issue, however, arises when Van Eck in particular attempts to twist some of these values in order to justify his own actions. If there is one single quote from the duology that exemplifies this, it would be this one: “Ghezen shows his favor to those who are deserving, to those who build cities, not the rats who eat away at their foundations. He has blessed me and my dealings. You will perish, and I will prosper. That is Ghezen’s will,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck openly believes that, since he is a member of the upper class, he is somehow more deserving of a blessing. He is insistent that “Ghezen's will”, or what he interprets as what Ghezen wishes for him to do, is to trample others in order to further his own success. 

It doesn't matter to him who stands in his way, and it never will, because his goal is only to make himself more wealthy; he simply hides this behind a thin veil of piety. This motivation is especially clear when he is speaking to Inej while he is holding her captive. “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). He frames people less fortunate than him - in this case Kaz and Inej - as forgettable and unimportant. The only thing he considers truly important is wealth, which he equates to power. He even references Ghezen here, claiming again that all of his actions, as well as his empire and legacy, are meant to show his dedication to his religion. He also claims that his ability to attain this level of success is a sign that Ghezen favors him. That in particular is a display of his extremely warped view of Ghezenism. The truth is that his success can only be attributed to his unethical actions, but the fact that he claims it is due to Ghezen's favor means that he will never be able to be convinced that he is wrong. He has what he believes to be an airtight justification.

His classism is also extremely evident, while indirectly, in an exchange between Kaz and Wylan earlier on in Crooked Kingdom. ““Your father much for charity?” “No. He tithes to Ghezen, but he says charity robs men of the chance at honest labor,”” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 2). This shows that Van Eck is very protective over his wealth. Which, quite frankly, is more likely than not the exact opposite of what Ghezenism is intended to promote. Based on what we are shown from an outside perspective, it seems as though one of the main aspects of Ghezenism is to create a prosperous economy for everyone. However, what Van Eck seems to believe is that he is intended to simply accumulate as much wealth as he possibly can, and keep it all for himself.

It is incredibly clear that Van Eck doesn't care about the well-being of anyone other than himself when it comes down to it. It could be argued that he cares for Alys, and will care for their child when it is born, but this simply cannot be proven. Just look at the exact mirror of this situation: Marya and Wylan. Wylan states about his parents, “I think he really loved her. They fought all the time, sometimes about me, but I remember them laughing a lot together too,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). If we are to believe that this is true, and Van Eck truly did love Marya, that doesn't change the fact that he didn't hesitate to send her away as soon as he discovered that Wylan couldn't read or write. There is no evidence to say that he wouldn't do the same to Alys, under similar circumstances. 

And, of course, this all leads back to the matter of Wylan. When Van Eck decided that Wylan wouldn't be useful to him, he stopped caring about him very quickly. Near the end of Six of Crows, we hear more of the specifics on Van Eck's opinion of Wylan. “I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I’ve tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism. But he refused to be taught. I finally had to accept that Ghezen saw fit to curse me with a moron for a child. Wylan is a boy who will never grow to be a man. He is a disgrace to my house,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck believes that Wylan is a curse from Ghezen, purely because he thinks that Wylan will be incapable of producing profits for their business. This is perhaps one of the most egregious examples of his blatant abuse of his own religion, because he is entirely willing to abandon and even murder his own son in order to fulfill his goals, which he claims is all Ghezen's will.

There is no feasible way Wylan would be able to grow up being raised by Van Eck, and not be affected by his religious ideas in some way. In fact, there is evidence contained in the text that proves this rather thoroughly. There are even certain things that have already been cited within this analysis that can be circled back to, such as the quote just above. This quote exemplifies the sort of treatment Wylan was subjected to while growing up. This is mostly speculation, but it's safe to assume he was told at a very young age that his own father considered him a punishment from god. That is objectively terrible, and we know that by the age of eight his father was his only parent. The psychological impacts that that would have on a child that young are unimaginable. 

Additionally, we can return to this quote from Crooked Kingdom: “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). While Van Eck is not talking to Wylan here, and Wylan isn't even present at the time, this passage still indirectly displays Van Eck's feelings about Wylan. Here he is expressing the fact that he maintains that if a person is not able to create wealth and prosperity for themselves, they are essentially useless. As we know from the previous example, he believes this of Wylan as well.

It is evident that Wylan was taught Ghezenite values from a young age. While examining the exterior of the Church of Barter, his thoughts include this: “He didn’t need to be able to read the words engraved over the arch. He’d heard his father repeat them countless times. Enjent, Voorhent, Almhent. Industry, Integrity, Prosperity,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). This is confirmation that Van Eck frequently encouraged Wylan to think about these values, and it can be inferred that it likely wasn't in a particularly positive manner. Industry, integrity, and prosperity are clearly the three main ideals of this religion, and we can easily be led to the conclusion that Van Eck is certain his son is capable of none of them.

It is also suggested that Wylan may even associate his father's disapproval with religion subconsciously as well. A good example of this is in Crooked Kingdom, after Wylan is taken to the Church of Barter. “Van Eck shook his head. “Every time I think you cannot disappoint me further, you prove me wrong.” They were in a small chapel topped by a dome. The oil paintings on the wall featured battle scenes and piles of armaments,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). While this is also simply meant to provide the reader with a description of the environment, the juxtaposition between the two halves of this passage cannot be an accident. What we can observe here is that after Van Eck once again expresses his ever-present disappointment with Wylan, emphasis is immediately put on the fact that they are in the church. This, along with the other passages listed, creates a clear link between Wylan's negative relationship with his father and the effects that their shared religion has had on it.

What I consider to be one of the most important quotes for this subject, despite also being the shortest one used, comes near the end of Six of Crows. After Wylan has played his role in foiling Van Eck's plan to trick the Crows, he says this: “Maybe you can pray to Ghezen for understanding, Father,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). This is sort of the first act of retribution that the reader sees from Wylan. He has just made his father look like a fool, and then he practically spits in his face by taking the thing that was used against him for so long - their religion - and using it against his father instead. Not only is this moment incredibly satisfying, it also marks the beginning of Wylan's growth as a character that eventually leads to him being able to stand up to his father in more ways.

Despite being arguably the least explored Grishaverse religion in online spaces, I find Ghezenism to be extremely interesting when it comes to the ways it ties into the themes of the story. It represents wider, more general themes found throughout the book, such as the idea that people often value their own success over the well-being of others, but it contains even more when examined under a closer lens. It opens the door to a completely new aspect of further analyzing the relationship between Wylan and his father, and introduces vital elements of in-depth characterization for both of them. The way Wylan and Van Eck each view the same religion is highly indicative of their individual values, and that is a very interesting thing to expand upon. It simply goes to show just how much thought went into creating both the culture of this world, and the characters who live within it.

#this is virtually just a huge monster of a brain dump #don't bully me too hard if some details are off guys #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #shadow and bone s2 #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #soc wylan #wylan soc #wesper #jan van eck #marya hendriks #alys van eck #ketterdam

[incorrect-soc]

Godly Parents: SoC edition

(Lil disclaimer: This is not necessarily PJO's meaning of Godly Parent. It's just basically a "Which God is your godly parent" buzzfeed quiz but with actual information-)

Kaz: Nemesis, Goddess of indignation against, and retribution for, evil deeds and undeserved good fortune. Kaz spent the entire two books and the bigger part of his life holding grudges and planning his revenge on an arrogant man who got away with destroying a bunch of people's lives. He makes it his life mission to make him pay for his crimes.

Inej: Hermes, Messenger of the gods; god of travel, commerce, communication, borders, eloquence, diplomacy and thieves. First of all, Inej is Suli. Suli people are known to be "nomads", travelling from place to place. Second, Kaz hired her to be his spider, to collect and deliver important information, a messenger of some kind. And a detail I particularly liked is the whole thing with the shoes. Hermes most characteristic item are his flying sandals; and Inej is also particularly fond of her climbing leather slippers.

Jesper: Hephaestus, God of the forge, craftsmanship, invention, fire, metallurgy and volcanoes, craftsman of the gods. Yeah, yeah. The obvious reason is in fact because Jesper is a Fabrikator. He literally controls metal. If it's parental issues we're talking about, well, we all know how that went for both of them.

Wylan: Apollo, God of Sun, light, prophecy, philosophy, archery, truth, inspiration, poetry, music, arts, manly beauty, medicine, healing, and plague. "Because of Wylan Van Suns-?" *slap* Shut up, that was literally sarcasm. Wylan's story and latter fate begins because of a music conservatory, and music really played such a big part in his own story as well as his story with Jesper (ehem, piano incident). Also, bit of a fun fact, Apollo is supposedly the creator of the flute so there you go. Another literal thing is that he created a fake plague to help Kaz.

Nina: Hecate, Goddess of the dead's souls, witchcraft and divination. (Matthias would be so happy for the whole witchcraft thing). I don't think I have to elaborate on this one, but just a reminder that Nina can in fact control dead bodies.

Matthias: Hestia, Goddess of the hearth, fire and of the right ordering of domesticity and the family. *Introduces really gut-wrenching line from chapter 40 of Crooked Kingdom about how he finally could go back home*. I know it's kinda ironic that Matthias is from an icy country and Hestia is the Goddess of the fire, but no one said this was a perfect analysis (do I look like Rick Riordan to you?). Matthias was all about family values and homeland really, even if they meant different things at the beginning and at the end of Matthias' story. First it was his bio family, whose death ignited his hatred for the Grisha and his home was Fjerda. But in the end, the Crows became his family, the family he gave his life for, the same way Nina became his home.

#I really gave my all to make the Matthias one as depressing as possible #some of them are meant to be literal guys so don't be pressed #six of crows #shadow and bone #soc #the crows #crow club #sab #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #greek mythology

[valentinedaughtler]

Tainted Opal (Part 6)

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

T/Ws: violence, romantic feelings, blood, mild spice scenes sometimes, fem!reader and she/her pronouns, sexual abuse/trauma (not explicit)

Synopsis: Your boat has been docked in Fjerda and you forgot your coat…. (But Kaz has a coat…👀)

REQUESTS: OPEN✅

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6 - Kaz Brekker Always Had a Reason

The ship was docked on the west coast of Fjerda, frozen plains stretches over the horizon into a snowy oblivion. The ocean was deeply frigid, an innocent plunge would send you to a numbing death.

Everyone, except prepared Matthias, was painfully underdressed. Jesper reminded us all frequently through whiney griping. We teased him about it, saying his fancy hats would not even be able to warm him up. My social circle included all the Crows, but I lingered longer around Inej and Nina. We all seemed to feel a feminine connection to one another; an easy group to complain about the boys' nonsense to.

As Nina and I shivered, we huddled near one another, the long trek around the Fold just beginning. Matthias held Nina close, insuring that she would be warm, despite her heartrender abilities.

Eventually, Nina moved between the cold Crows, circulating their blood into a more rapid speed to keep their temperatures up. Thus, I was left with the massive Fjerdan man. I'd seduced many men, but only a few looked like they could snap me in half like a twig for a fire like he did.

"Do you miss Fjerda?" I asked with an inquisitive tilt of the head. Matthias's face contorted slightly, his jaw shifting and eyebrows stitching together. He stayed silent for a moment before sighing,

"I do miss my people in some ways, but sometimes you find a person who changes your values...," he replied with a thick accent. It was sharp and pronounced, I had a feeling if he yelled at you it would feel like a brick to the face. I nodded as he watched Nina. "Do you miss your life before Ketterdam swallowed it up?"

"No-...," I tried to articulate how I felt about my past, but I guess I wasn't too sure. "I miss the specifics, the small details. Though, when I think about the big picture, I don't miss any of it." I let out a shivered breath before speaking again, "I don't want to think back fondly on what my life had been, trying to write an edited version with only the good plot points. It's easier to not think about it at all, no story is better than a bad one, don't you think?" I craned my neck to look at Matthias's eyes, they looked harsh and painful, but maybe they were pained instead.

"I think you should just keep writing the story," he acknowledged my thought with a nod. "Maybe find new characters to add to it rather than making it a one-man narration." I laughed softly, an unexpected response from him.

"Nina seems to be a good influence on you," smirking at him with a knowing glint in my eye. He really loves her, I thought as I made my way to the heartrender herself. "Nina!" I waddled my way across the tundra to her and Kaz. She seemed a bit exasperated as the dark haired boy begrudgingly allowed her to use her small science on him.

"Y/n, can you tell him that I will not be stopping his heartbeat?" She huffed as Kaz squirmed away from her slightly.

"That's enough," he said, but I heard his teeth chatter a bit through that gravely voice. I laughed, asking Nina to warm me up instead. She excitedly obliged, leaving Kaz to sulk in peace.

She began to chuckle to herself as she contorted her soft fingers to work her 'majik'.

"What is it?" I inquired with growing curiosity. She turned to me with a suggestive smile and a wink.

"Kaz was watching you, earlier, when you were taking to Matthias." Her grin widened, showing her pearly, white teeth. My cheeks burned when the meaning behind her words clicked in my brain. She continued, "I may have called him out on such. He got real defense," she dragged out her words with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"He's always defensive. He's basically a human defense system; a wall." I said, attempting to use logic. He barely knew me, unless we had met somewhere before, Kaz wouldn't trust me this early on, I knew that much.

"Well, yes, but you did pay upfront, he doesn't really need you alive, so..." Nina batted her eyelashes at me, mimicking a lovestruck girl. I flushed as I looked back at Kaz, limping a few feet behind us, when he met my gaze I spun back around, tensing up. Nina leaned close to my ear, "you're blushing... and I can tell your heartbeat has fluctuated frequently when he is near you-"

"Okayy, thank you, my darling, Nina, but I should really be going-,"

"You should be discussing plans with me since we are getting closer to the main path," rasped Kaz from behind me. I stifled a startled scream. Geez, what's with me? I'm never actually flustered around people and I've... been in intimate situations during heists many a time. Nina flashed me a smile and a wink before leaving Kaz and I alone. I sighed with relief as I know her torment would be at bay, for now.

"When we get to the trail's end, we should find shelter for the night, there are abandoned cabins all over Fjerda. That's what my dad told me, atleast," my voice was still a bit shakey as I tried to slow my heart rate down. Kaz nodded.

"It's the safest gamble to set up camp at the first cabin we see that doesn't have occupants in it," his tone was somehow more formal than it generally was, his body seemed tense. Had he heard what Nina had said? I looked at the cheery woman far up ahead, her bubbly laugh echoing across the frozen wasteland we trekked.

I walked with Kaz in silence, maintaining a couple feet of distance between us, I wasn't sure why, but I felt that if I touched him that he might snap. Whether that indicated him imploding or killing me, I wasn't sure. But I respected his need for space. I felt like I yearned to be alone often, since intimate touch was an important part of my job. It often wasn't by people I wanted to touch me too. Maybe it bothered me because I was so young, but no one in Ketterdam stayed young. Instead of a slow climb to adulthood, it was a drowning process. Before, you were something, but after you plunged up for air, you weren't much anymore.

A gust of wind blew hair into my face and sent a shiver throughout my body, like hitting a metal drum and watching it vibrate. Kaz seemed to suppress the chill he felt, huffing slightly as the wind blew towards us.

"Why didn't you bring a jacket?" Kaz grumbled, his glare colder than the snow melting in my boots. "Your chattering teeth is starting to irritate me."

"I originally thought we'd be headed through Shu Han," I said through long breaths. I suddenly felt a thick jacket be placed.., no, more so dropped onto my shoulders. I turned to the Crow beside me, who refused to meet my gaze. With a breathy laugh, I slipped my arms into the jacket. It was soft and warm, but oversized on me. I dug my chilly hands into the lined pockets. "Thank you."

Kaz stayed silent, but I could tell he was cold in only his shirt and vest. "We need you in good health. The Crows, especially Matthias, need your tailoring skills to disguise us. I assume your business partner also knows of me, so that would be a problem." He explained, as if justifying his decision to himself.

We eventually reached a fork in the road, both paths leading to long, winding expanses of lifeless tundra. I indicated the correct road, but as we made our way, we saw a small shack.

The skeleton of the building was stacked logs and eroded wood was sparsticslly laying in chunks near the house. The inside had creaky wooden floors, a small kitchen area and bed rested on opposing sides. Fur hanging from the walls, for decor and warmth probably, a small fire place, and a couch were the only other things of note in the barren room.

"Oh, it reminds me of how Matthias and I had spent our first night together," Nina purred with a silly smile.

"Wylan and I are too fancy to sleep on the floor," Jesper said while sprawling out on the make-shift mattress. No one objected, but Matthias and Nina called the couch. Us single three left mutually decided we were on our own for sleeping areas.

"There's enough fur for the rest of us to just sleep on the floor separately," Inej pointed out, "but I'm okay sharing with Y/n if there is a shortage of blankets." She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I returned her sentiment by promising to braid her hair later.

Jesper's eyes wandered around the room in observation, eventually landing on jacket-less Kaz and my body that was swallowed by said-jacket. His lips crooked into a sly grin.

"Nice jacket, Y/n," Jesper said and his eyes landed on the coat's owner, who froze.

"I'm going to collect firewood," Kaz grumbled and made his way outside the cabin quite quickly.

"I'll be right with ya', boss!" Jesper shot up from the bed and jogged after Kaz, his giggling and teasing still audible.

"Should we leave them alone in the woods?" Nina asked, "Kaz may kill the poor boy." Everyone laughed a bit, knowing looks shared between everyone besides me. I've been too casual, I've grown too close to them. Maybe... I should stay away from Kaz a bit since we aren't trapped on a boat together any longer.

✵ ♣ ✵

"He gave you his jacket?" Inej repeated the words I just spewed out nervously. I nodded in response as she turned to look at me with shock.

We sat together on the roof, which was very difficult for for me to get up to after Inej did so with grace. Stealth was not my thing. She sat in front of my crossed legs, leaning on me slightly, as I braided her hair ornately. The repetitive motions soothed me as I felt the pressure of the coming heist. "The last couple nights on the boat we've both gotten nightmares from too much time on the sea," I explained. "We've been talking from late to early, until the sunrises, or just sitting in silence."

Inej giggled a bit, I felt her shake against me as the laugh vibrated through her. "He doesn't grow fond of people quickly, I can't be sure, but I want you to stay with us after the heist," Inej said softly.

I hummed in response, "we'll see. Even if we part ways, I'll stay in touch with you and Nina." I couldn't see her face, but I could tell Inej was smiling.

We both looked down to see a babbling Jesper walking next to an exhausted looking Kaz. Inej turned to me as I had just finished braiding her long hair. Her lips were crooked into a michevious grin.

"Let's scare them," she whispered softly. I was pretty sure Kaz would have seen us by now, knowing how observant he is, but the idea was too tempting. We slid behind the slant of the roof and Inej silently leaped to a nearby tree, her wire-y figure wrapping around the limbs on it, gripping the bark. She chucked a pinecone at Jesper, knocking the eccentric hat off of his head. He squeaked as he attempted to get the snow off of his hat. Inej disappeared behind the tree as the two boys looked up at the direction the pinecone came from. As I aimed to hit Kaz with a pinecone, I slipped slightly. His keen eyes landed on the roof, but not before I hid myself from his line of vision.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." I whispered, still wearing Kaz's coat. I stayed silent for a moment before hearing the crunching of boots in the snow. I quickly hurled the pinecone at Kaz's head, but he swung his cane, hitting the pinecone perfectly. He didn't even look up. Before I realized it, the pinecone was headed straight for me. He was aiming for me. I dodged it, but in the process my grip on the roof loosened, causing me to slide down the roof towards Jesper and Kaz. They looked up at the roof, and the sharpshooter leaped to catch me. I fell into his arms with a thud.

I smiled nervously, "hey guys..." Inej shimmied down the tree and quickly came to check on me. Jesper let me down, laughing the whole time, but Kaz had an indescribable expression on his face.

"I told you we can't have you dead," his tone was serious, my smile dropping abruptly. "Stick to what you're good at; making your presence known, Seductress." He admonished my actions as he walked inside with firewood in one hand, cane in the other. Why am I so foolish when I'm around him?

Inej followed after him, sternly explaining it was her idea. I felt a warmth in my heart as she defended me.

"Come, Y/n, let's talk," Jesper said. He had a pelt of fur draped over him, keeping him warmer. I followed him in the frosty woods behind the cabin. He smirked a bit as we made our way around trees and fallen logs, as well as other suffering vegetation.

"Is something wrong? Do you need relationship advice for Wylan?" I asked with a twinge of concern.

"Oh, no, no. It's about Kaz," his self-assured demeanor stayed strong as I attempted to keep pace with his long-limbed figure. "He's taken an unusual liking to you." He gestured to coat I was wearing.

"He was just being polite," I said, but even I had a hard time saying it without becoming skeptical.

Jesper snorted and shook his head, "Kaz isn't nice to for no reason, Y/n. Despite was people say, Kaz Brekker always has a reason."

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Word Count: 2344

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I realize this seems more like a fast paced romance, but don't worry, the girl falls first in this story. We'll get there...

-Valentine

#fanfic #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #nina zenik #shadow and bone #six of crows #soc #grishaverse #matthias helvar #fjerda #wylan van eck #fem!reader #fem reader

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Finally finished the outline of Daughter of the Rain and Snow and I know exactly how the ending is going down almost pretty much (details are blurry, but plot and character arcs are completely outlined and ready to write instead of just bullet points or vague ideas) so out of interest (won’t necessarily stick to it 100% but would still like to know) what would anyone like to see next if you would like to continue reading my stuff?

Explanations below cut

Sequel

I have every intention to write this one, I have characters but thus far not a main plot more of just the premise. Would follow Ahra, Evan, Yara, maybe Vix, and maybe Lilia as our young Dregs and start around when Kaz and Inej left for Ravka since the Dregs was kinda on the verge of collapse whoops. Can’t go into too much detail or they’ll be spoilers for the current fic but there’d be the opportunity for some Aimee and Kiada, and Kanej would still be present but they might not be in focus (again, can’t explain too much or they’ll be spoilers). There might even be some Fiona or some Maya stuff who knows

I really want to write this bc I really want to write Ahra’s story so it’ll probably end up coming around at some point but I realise it might not be the most interesting to y’all when it’s mostly ocs so yeah

Feliks had been more than lenient with Ahra. He’d been the only person who ever gave her a real job - playing her violin in the reception of the White Rose - and when things had predictably gone haywire he’d been good enough to only turn her away, not Evan too. Ahra hadn’t much cared for the job, she loved her violin but she did not enjoy watching the Rose’s clients come and go and she certainly hadn’t cared for having her skin paled and her hair Tailored white for such purposes, but it was easy money and enough to keep them ticking over as all of Evan’s funds petered away on overpriced little medicine bottles. She studied the thin stack of kruge in her hand, thinking of Kaz standing opposite her in the alley by the Slat.

“I don’t need your charity, Brekker,”

“And far be it from me to offer you any,”

Not charity, but she didn’t doubt Dirtyhands had his own purposes in paying her for a job she failed to finish. Still, cash was cash. And medicine was medicine. She tucked it back into her breast pocket and tapped it lightly, slipping round the corner and pulling a bone light from her jacket.

What Evan didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Helnik

This was an idea I had a looooong time ago and I shared a little snippet scene on here, but then I started writing Daughter of the Rain and Snow and never looked back. I really want to write this one I think it could be pretty cool, it would be relatively short set in between Crooked Kingdom and King of Scars and take place in Ravka; based on a headcanon I have about Nina learning how to use her new power and as a result of it experiencing hallucinations of Matthias being with her that she is fully convinced are real. Following Nina, Zoya, and Genya as they try to navigate this and worry that they shouldn’t let Nina got to Fjerda in this state.

“What time is it?” she mumbled into the cushions.

“A little after seven bells,”

“Saints, how disgusting,”

Nina sighed, in a mixture of content and tiredness. The luxury of the Little Palace was a mostly welcome change from crawling in next to Matthias in the tomb at Black Veil - or even of the hotel room at the Geldrenner. They’d shared a sofa, so close to each other; limbs entangled, chest against her back so she could feel his heart beating. A steady rhythm, no matter what he was feeling. The big bed here was more comfortable, but the closeness felt like an aching absence, as though the few feet between them spanned for miles. She reached out behind her and found something soft that she decided was his arm.

“Come closer,” she whispered, and she imagined the way he’d smile.

He would press her fingers to his lips and she would roll over to face him. She’d reach out and touch his cheek, and he would catch her hands in his.

“Witch,”

“Barbarian,”

“Little Red Bird,” he would say, just before his lips met hers

The sunlight would be warm and soft on their skin as they moved closer, as she felt his heart beating beneath her fingers.

But he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t come closer, or kissed her fingers, or brushed his lips against hers. He had not gently pushed her hand down towards his wrist so their fingers could intertwine.

“Matthias?”

Nina made the mistake of rolling over, and began to scream.

Wesper

There’s a line in Crooked Kingdom where Jesper says if Van Eck really couldn’t cope with Wylan not being able to read he could have told people he was blind, the point being that still would’ve been wrong but that everything he’d resorted to was unnecessary and Wylan shouldn’t feel like it was his fault. So this would be an au where Van Eck did exactly that and Wesper attend Ketterdam university together; Wylan grapples with his father being the worst and falling for Jesper as he fears telling him the truth, Jesper grapples with addiction and wanting to stay at university partly for the sake of falling for Wylan.

Jesper leaned in, pushing one of Wylan’s curls back off his face.

“It’s pity you can’t see how beautiful your eyes are,”

Wylan blushed, letting Jesper run his hand over his cheek and tilt his face up towards his own. Jesper leaned forward but then Wylan squirmed, just slightly, and Jesper tensed as he pulled his hand away.

“And me, of course,” he added, letting his voice take on a teasing lilt to brush past the moment, “It’s a shame you don’t know how gorgeous I am,”

Wylan almost smiled, but he had stepped away.

“I- erm,” he brushed his fingers through the lock of hair Jesper had moved and cleared his throat, “Excuse me,”

And then he was gone.

#six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kanej #Wesper #helnik #soc fics #Soc fic #six of crows fic #six of crows fandom #six of crows fanfic #grishaverse fandom #grishaverse fanfic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

[nerdy-girlramblings]

How the Crows Would Celebrate Christmas

'Tis the season, so I'm inspired

Kaz: Grumbles and doesn't act very excited, but he secretly likes getting the others gifts. Also, this time of year brings up happy memories of Christmas growing up and he wishes Jordie was with them. He gets Inej a new knife.

Inej: Her family celebrated growing up and Christmas for her is much more about the people you spend it with than the gifts. She brings her family over to Ketterdam on The Wraith to celebrate with the crows.

Nina: She absolutely adores Christmas and loves getting the perfect gift for everyone. One of her favorite things about Christmas is decorating the tree and the cookies. She tells stories about celebrating at the Little Palace.

Matthias: He did not celebrate in Fjerda but Nina explains the holiday and customs to him, as well as helps him pick out gifts. He gets her small gifts like the ones he would have given her during a Fjerdan courtship as well as her favorite sweet treat and waffles.

Wylan: He did not have pleasant Christmases growing up with his father, so this first Christmas with the crows is very special to him. He and Jesper are hosting in the Van Eck home. He gets everyone homemade or small personalized gifts. He plays Christmas carols on the piano as everyone sings.

Jesper: He loves Christmas and has good memories of celebrating with his mom and dad, but after her death, the holiday was never quite the same. Wylan has to go shopping with him because he can get a bit carried away. Jesper loves to annoy Kaz by singing Christmas songs. He invites Colm to spend the holiday with them.

Bonus: Due to the variety of cultures amongst the crows, everyone makes and brings a dish that they grew up having on Christmas.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #helnik #kanej #wesper #grishaverse #Christmas #nerdygirlramblings

[rotzaprachim]

digging my teeth into the really dark fascinating fucked-upness of helnik. they’re fascinating in being a wartime love story about an intentional victim of genocidal violence and an unintentional fuck-around-and-find-out victim of “collateral damage,” both of which are different forms of wartime violence. 

nina is targeted as a grisha, she’s almost killed by the druskelle and fjerda in the books not for being a ravkan spy or agent but simply for being grisha. they will kill her for being grisha. and how will they kill her? they will burn her. and it’s fascinating when she tells matthias in a very justified moment of rage (i mean. they’re looking at the dying burned corpses of her people whom jesper, also a grisha, had to physically shoot) and says i want your family to burn i want them all to be burnt in the way my people were. and matthias says, they already have been. they already burned. and how that changes the entire dynamic between them, everything leading up to that, becuase FUCK. yeah. his whole family has already been burnt. he’s a lone survivor of something in much the same way she is, and his family was burnt not on purpose for being grisha but as a “justified accident,” the casual civilian side-damage of war. and it was her people. unlike the intentional, systemic violence that destroyed her people and left nina a shaken, traumatised survivor of a purposeful genocide, we have matthias as this destroyed survivor of one of those little sorts of accidents that’s swallowed and justified by the shape of the war and what Must Be Done to succeed. (also he serves as like, one of the only times i think it’s really faced that the first army is, you known, a national army that does national-army-during-a-war things.) one does not cancel out the other. 

their relationship is difficult and fucked and that’s why it’s fascinating and has so much potential to explore. it’s so much more complicated than the tiktok “enemies to lovers” trope because they dig right at the base of what it is to be an enemy to someone else. from the ship nina is an almost-lone survivor of the damage his people did. from his village being burnt by inferni matthias is a lone survivor of the damage her people did. from the consequences of war on his people and violent prejudice against her own, nina is raised a child soldier and in many ways reduced to weaponry, something that absolutely is a form of child abuse. from the consequences of war on her people matthias is inducted into a cult and subjected to spiritual abuse. they’ve been hurt by each other’s nations, but also by their own. there’s something so brutal but also tender in the way they knock each other off the orbits they’ve been living in and force them out of the home that is burning. love may make you free, but not without drowning first. 

#nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #they're so. they're SO. look i will gilroyfy this there's almost unlimited material #six of crows #symmetry and mirrors and the mirror hurts #but yeah the fact they're both absolutely victims not only of each other country's war crimes BUT THEIR OWN COUNTRIES WAR CRIMES IS LIKE #well that's a lot to unpack. the violence that comes inside and outside the house #they cannot go home! as a consequence of meeting each other they cannot go home #tw genocide #obviously none of this is to let matty off the hook but i think he is a FAR more complex character and his deradicalisation from military #violence is far far more complicated than often given credit too #his backstory especially is. damn. look have your entire family killed by a military apparatus and say that wouldnt' radicalise you too? #i love them for being a fantasy and (sighssss to use this phrase) enemies-to-lovers couple that ISN'T royalty #and that #for all their induction into nationalism hates each other not only along national lines but the violence of lived experiences like #nina may filter her hatred of him and his people through Ravka Good Fjerda Bad but it's also the fact they very much did kill her people #she very much /is/ a survivor of a whole shipload of drowned people #meanwhile matthias may filter his code through Fjerda Good Drusje Very Very Very Bad but like... also they very much did kill his people #it makes their relationship so much messier #but yeah they aren't royalty (matthias even in the one time he describes his background calls his family paupers) #they're ordinary people who have by structures of war been pulled into semi-priviledged positions of elite soldierdom and servitude #and that is fascinating. two kings set their fighting dogs against each other and they fall in love #that love can be liberatory it can be radical it can be real it can also just be. not enough to break the cycle of violence #ANYWAY!!! i love them forever. i have thoughts

[restinslices]

My Fandom Ocs

I was scrolling on tumblr and ended up seeing @mattmurdocksthighs (fantastic name btw) do this post showing off their ocs and I was like “I wanna do that” so here we are. No one asked for this but LISTEN- I don’t ONLY think about Mortal Kombat. And I’ll probably write about them at some point and get like, 2 cute lil like. I’ll keep updating this because my brain is always coughing up this shit. Their stories also got a lot of shit going on so I’m giving the very basic stuff so this shit ain’t too long. (Rereading this and the shit ended up long anyway). Last updated: 2/15/24

Kajsa Helvar

Universe: Six Of Crows

Related to: Matthias Helvar - Older Brother.

Sexuality: Lesbian

Love Interest: -

Faceclaim: Ivanna Sakhno

Summary: Kajsa is Matthias’s younger sister who is believed to be dead. She survived the village fire and was taken by Fjerdan officials to become an assassin (they got a bootleg Black Widow program. Shhhhh) for them since Druskelle take too long and are easily noticeable. After she finds out he’s alive, she leaves Fjerda and tracks him down but when she realizes his girlfriend is Grisha, she believes he’s being poisoned and wants to kill Nina. When Matthias refuses to let that happen, she thinks it’s too late and the only way to save his soul is to kill him. Will she succeed? Will they make up and undo her brainwashing? Who knows? Not me.

Marina Starkov

Universe: Shadow and Bone

Related to: and Malyen Oretsev - Dad. Alina Starkov - Mom.

Grisha order: Etherealki - Sun Summoner

Sexuality: Unlabeled

Love Interest: (I ain’t think that far ahead, ngl)

Faceclaim: Park Ji Hye

Summary: I was bummed we didn’t get the book ending with Mal and Alina so she was made. Mal and Alina did the dance as old as time when they found out Mal was the third amplifier and did not use any protection. This resulted in an accidental baby. Mal was at sea and Alina was married to Nikolai so they lied to the people of Ravka and said she was theirs. Mal only finds out years later during a random visit. Ngl, she was created for drama and scandal. I did not think her future through. All I knew was that she hated this Ravkan royal life and preferred to be with Mal and wanted more freedom. Typical princess shit.

Polaris Lupin

Universe: Harry Potter

Related to: Remus Lupin - Dad. And before y’all ask, her mom is black but she’s not a cannon character so I’m not putting her here

House: Ravenclaw

Sexuality: Lesbian

Love interest: Bounces between Luna and Pansy cause she loves a lil bit of toxicity. She get it from Remus fr

Faceclaim: Chandler Kinney

Summary: In my version, Remus is gay. I know fans debate whether he’s bi or gay, in this version he’s gay. He’s in denial and ends up hooking up with a female witch, and while that confirmed that he had to face the hard reality of another thing about him being different, her ass must’ve been listening to Usher cause she said she was three months pregnant and she was keeping it (some of y’all enjoyed that more than others and I’m ok with this). At first he wanted nothing to do with this kid but came around to the idea, which was real convenient cause her mom got killed by her own family. Guess we locked in for life now. She has his werewolf gene and is trying her hardest to succeed in school to hopefully make their life better.

Carina Min

Universe: Harry Potter

Related to: Sirius Black - Dad. One of my ocs I put in every universe is her mom. Don’t judge me.

House: Hufflepuff

Sexuality: Unlabeled

Love Interest: Fred Weasley

Faceclaim: Saerom from Fromis_9

Summary: Carina was born October 31st 1980, the year before shit went left. After Sirius’ imprisonment, her mom gave Carina her last name so she hopefully wouldn’t be connected to the Black family anymore. She is extremely sheltered and since her mom was raised after death eaters, she tries to shield her from everything wrong with the world, trying to give her the life she felt she deserved but obviously sheltering your kid as much as she did leaves them extremely codependent. Carina has always wanted for nothing and never had the need for ambition. She sees the world extremely black and white but when entering Hogwarts she finds out that’s not true and has to solve a huge question; who is she? She’s also a metamorphmagus like her mom but I didn’t know where to fit that.

Poppy Ejiri-Finstock

Universe: Teen Wolf

Related to: Bobby Finstock - Dad. Mom is a non cannon character. Not the same as Carina and Lilith

Creature: Werejaguar and Kitsune Chimera

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love interest: Isaac Lahey

Faceclaim: Serena Motola

Summary: Poppy was born a human with heart disease and because of this, she has constant medical attention. She lives with Coach in Beacon Hills and is friends with Isaac, Erica and Boyd and has no knowledge of the supernatural. When Erica and Boyd go missing, she wants to investigate which Isaac is very against since the alpha pack traumatized him for investigating and he’s a werewolf. All this secrecy puts a strain of their relationship and she only finds out about the supernatural when Stiles is possessed. Lucky for her though her mom is like “bring my child back to my house” and she goes to live with her, which is also encouraged by Isaac. She only returns in season 5 because she’s experiencing heart failure and wants more time with her dad and also because her mom needs to work more. Good news, they got a heart for her! Bad news, the Dread Doctors are around. She’s kidnapped, experimented on, deemed a failure, brought back by Theo but sided with Scott and stays apart of his pack.

Wren Hale

Universe: MCU

Related to: -

Sexuality: Pansexual

Love interest: -

Faceclaim: Devyn Nekoda

Summary: She is from the universe that Dr. Strange destroyed in “What If?” Her parents were two Shield scientist sent to find the Infinity Stones. They found the soul stone, her mom killed her dad and since she was a witch who specialized in power absorption she was able to absorb the stone. Unfortunately though, she was pregnant and after giving birth to her daughter, Wren sucked almost all the power out of her, leaving her too weak to even stand. Wren became a test subject immediately and this went unnoticed since in this universe The Avengers were never formed because Loki never came to Earth. She ended up absorbing the mind stone after it crashed on Earth and absorbed the rest of her mom’s power. Wren ended up clearing Natasha’s mind after a failed breach, killed everyone else at Shield and began her new life with Natasha until Dr. Strange got everyone killed. Instead of dying like everyone else, she was able to jump from variant to variant thanks to the two stones working together and now goes universe to universe killing Dr. Strange so he can never destroy another universe like hers.

Lilith Lokisdottir

Universe: MCU

Related to: Loki Odinson - Dad. Mom is the same as Carina’s. She AU hops.

Sexuality: Lesbian

Love interest: -

Faceclaim: Lucy from Weki Meki

Summary: Ok so, Lilith is the product of Loki and an enhanced Midgardian. She is born during the snap which means she never gets to meet Loki and instead has a fatherly relationship with her uncle Thor. She’s still kinda in development but my idea rn is that because Loki isn’t there to teach her magic, she’s sent with Wanda. Unfortunately Wanda made a little pit stop and Westview happened. She ages rapidly in the hex and plays Wanda’s adopted niece in her little show. Because of her own magic trying to protect her and fight against Wanda’s, when the hex goes down she still looks the age she’s grown into, but her brain didn’t age as fast which causes her judgment to be skewed. So instead of being the new Goddess of Mischief, it slips into chaos and destruction. Will she be healed? Find out next episode.

Claudia Moore

Universe: Twilight

Related to: Billy Black - Dad. Jacob Black - Older Brother. Rachel and Rebecca Black - Older Sisters. Non cannon character is her mom.

Species: Witch Shifter Hybrid

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: Paul Lahote (I don’t wanna hear about Rachel)

Faceclaim: Kiana Madeira

Summary: Going back in time Claudia’s mom was best friends with Billy and Sarah, Jacob’s parents. She really wanted a baby and the two volunteered to have Billy be a donor for her and she accepted. She had Claudia months after Sarah and Claudia and Jacob became best friends. Years pass and she’s friends with the kids on the reservation and has no knowledge about Billy being her biological dad. Then New Moon happens. Cullens leave, Bella drops her, and her main friend group including Jacob and her boyfriend seem to abandon her and it’s clear her mom and Billy know something and they aren’t letting her know what. After a huge fight with her mom she takes off this necklace her mom gave her that she said she enchanted so vampire powers would not work on her and has a tracking element. She runs off, sees Paul, the imprint shit happens and this triggers a change and after getting angry she turns into a jaguar bitch. So that necklace she got wasn’t just used to protect her from vampires and to track her location. It was also to suppress her shifter abilities. Now everyone thought shifters wouldn’t happen anymore and it was always sons, but her mom was like “imma just be careful”. It was like she had a protective bubble around her so that’s why the smell of vampires didn’t trigger her. When she took off the necklace that bubble was popped and when the imprinting shit happened it triggered her shifter gene. Basically saying “hey y’all can do this now! Hurry up to make up for lost time!” And that necklace wasn’t gonna work anymore. She’s a wolf not a jaguar because (I like it) it works differently for witches. In my head I have more lore for witches and how they used to assist the packs and also turn into animals but their animal would be a symbol of who they are as a person. The inside showing up on the outside type of thing. Maybe I’ll make a separate post rambling about it.

Minnie Thompson/Cullen

Universe: Twilight

Turned by: Carlisle Cullen

Species: Vampire

Special ability: Power mimicry

Sexuality: She just be living

Love Interest: -

Face Claim: Vanessa Morgan (specifically as Sarah Fox)

Summary: Minnie was born in 1906 to Robert and Mary Thompson and was soon followed by a younger brother named Joseph. Growing up, Minnie had a tendency to mimic others actions and predict what they’d do next, which was usually used to avoid conflict. This increased when her father started taking her hunting, which allowed her to gain the mindset of a hunter. She meets Carlisle when he’s volunteering to help the injured in her neighborhood and finds herself enjoying his company. Her brother dies of an illness and that plus other stress drives her father to attempt to kill his wife, Minnie and himself. Luckily she survived and was turned by Carlisle, who she’d grown close to by then. She was 18 and is the first adopted daughter he gets. Over the years their relationship went downhill because of multiple situations I don’t wanna ramble about here (maybe I will on another post), but it all comes crashing down when Jasper and Alice arrive. After finding out Jasper was a proud Confederate, she gets into an argument with Carlisle and says he has to leave. This leads to an ultimatum; they stay or she stays. Carlisle continues making excuses and she leaves. She has her own solo shit she’s doing but if we skip all that and look at the books, she’s an ally sometimes. She is still angry with them and keeps her distance but they reunite and there’s some of them she cares about and doesn’t want to die, which causes her to become a temporary ally. This is the best way I can summarize this. I have an embarrassing amount of lore in my head for her.

Medora Montgomery

Universe: PJO

Cabin: 10 - Aphrodite

Fatal Flaw: Recklessness

Sexuality: Demisexual

Love interest: I ain’t think that far

Faceclaim: Cascina Caradonna

Summary: She’s still a wip but as of right now her story is that she is from a wealthy family and her father despises Aphrodite for what she’s done. Growing up her father talked horribly about Aphrodite and made it seem like she is nothing more than a “whore goddess” with no real significance. She also has experienced being over sexualized like many other girls and it always being her fault has been drilled into her head. When she is sent to camp and claimed by Aphrodite, she hates it. She doesn’t hate her cabin mates but she, like others, mistakenly believe that Aphrodite only represents sex and she blames her for all the sexualization she’s faced. She is desperate to prove that she can be more and throws herself into situations that are way too big for only her to handle. She has to figure out what Aphrodite means to her, how to love herself as she is, how to get her inner light back and has to learn how to recognize that she is a victim and that creeps exist. It is not her job to make sure they keep their comments and hands to themselves.

#my ocs #my fandom ocs #my beloved #six of crows oc #shadow and bone oc #teen wolf oc #harry potter oc #marvel oc #mcu oc #The way none of them are straight- #Just girls wanting to smooch other girls your honor #I actually gotta stop making their lives depressing #Twilight oc #RestInSlices Ocs #pjo oc

[whimperandabang]

six of crows + “you can never go home“

originally i was going to write this in the tags of this post, but i hit tag limit before i even got halfway through. so i’m making it its own post.

the idea of “you can never go home” is core to each of the six crows which is why it’s such a jewish story. if you don’t want to read through my long rants, here’s the short version:

kanej can never go home because the children who belonged in their homes are dead.

jesper can never go home because to him, home represents shame. wylan does go home, but his homecoming is born from being set adrift much the same way as the other crows are.

helnik can never go home because their loyalty to their homes has wavered, and they can never come back from that.

ok rant time. first: kaz. kaz can never go back to his original home outside of lij because the boy who belongs there is kaz rietveld, and kaz rietveld is dead. maybe you could call ketterdam his new home - he probably would - but that’s even more tragic in a way, isn’t it? he’s so tied down to ketterdam. he’s unable to return to one home and unable to leave the other. (shameless self promotion time: my wip the sower explores this; it probably won’t be published on ao3 for a long while but if you’re interested to know what that’s about and get progress updates + teasers you can check out my fanfiction sideblog @tealquills, everything related to that wip should be under the tag “the sower”.)

now inej. my favorite diaspora girl. inej can never go home because of who she’s become - “a suli girl who had become a killer”. she can’t unbecome the dangerous girl, the girl with claws who names knives after saints. she can’t unbecome the wraith. and the wraith doesn’t belong in the suli caravans. the girl who did “died in the hold of a slaver ship”. she loves her family deeply and wants to be with them and still be loved by them, but she cannot go back home with them. the wraith can’t settle, especially because she always seeks justice. she’s no longer complacent, and she could not bear complacency. she feels purpose and drive to save others from what she endured at the menagerie. between these two things, is it any wonder she takes to the sea?

jesper can’t go home because his home is too entwined with feelings of boredom and shame. after aditi’s death, the monotony of farm life became unbearable. the shame and guilt associated with his durast abilities became unbearable. most of all, the grief became unbearable. it was no longer viable for him to live in novyi zem, at home with his father who loved him so much and failed him so profoundly. and so he went to kerch, and there was no going back.

for wylan, too, home is a place entwined with shame. jan van eck made him feel ashamed for his disability, building up intense feelings of worthlessness and guilt. wylan’s story is interesting in that he does go home, quite literally. he ends up living in van eck’s manor with jesper. in this way, he’s not really living a “you can never go home” story arc the same way as the other crows. but that idea is still core to his character, because for awhile, it was true. after the attempted murder on the boat, wylan had no home. he was set adrift in the same way kaz was after using jordie’s corpse as a raft, in the same way inej was after her time in the menagerie, in the same way jesper was after aditi’s death. wylan can only find his way home again after he experienced what it was to be without a home, and he will always carry that with him.

nina can’t go home because she’s realized she wants a life beyond that of a soldier, and ravka will never give her that. through matthias, she learns to aspire to peace and betterment rather than being a cog in the machine. she loves her country, but she can never quite be loyal to it in the same way again. the world but specifically ravka and fjerda will never let her and matthias be more than grisha and drüskelle, and she can’t accept that. even in king of scars and rule of wolves when she’s working for the ravkan government again, she can’t stay long. she goes to fjerda, and while she’s there, she takes up matthias’s mission. she starts building bridges. she tries to end the war. she falls in love again.

and finally, matthias. oh, my tragic boy. matthias can never go home because... well. you know. after coming to love nina, he can never be truly loyal to fjerda again, but it’s still his country. he spends all of six of crows and crooked kingdom trying to find a way to reconcile the truly awful parts of the country he calls home with everything that he believes makes it worth saving. he wants to go home so badly in a way that even inej can’t quite match. but in the end, he can’t go home because his wants are not enough. because one man’s personal journey cannot save an entire nation. because his love redeems him, but it can’t redeem fjerda.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows duology #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar

[fantastic-nonsense]

going to be real here: I'm pretty tired of how so many people in the SoC fandom believe that Nina is forever doomed to unhappiness and loneliness because she lost her first love as a teenager. Yes, Matthias had a huge impact on her life and his death was devastating for her. But it's not life-ending. Nina's ending in Crooked Kingdom, while filled with significant tragic elements, is ultimately hopeful. Her story, like all of the Crows, is littered with sadness and loss but canonically ends bittersweetly in CK and happily in the Nikolai duology.

Nina ends Crooked Kingdom free. She's overcome her addiction to parem and (to some extent) learned how to control her changed powers. She's saved Ketterdam's Grisha and successfully gotten Kuwei on the boat to Ravka. She's redeemed to Zoya for running off and to herself for getting Matthias stuck in Hellgate in the first place. She's rich beyond belief and returning home to Ravka with a mission Matthias gave her. She loses Matthias, and that's understandably heartbreaking, but she is far from lacking purpose or significant personal wins at the end of that book.

Also even if she HAD ended CK completely shattered, that wasn't the end of her story. We got the Nikolai duology. She's got Hanne and her new friends. She's got Nikolai and Zoya. She's got Inej. She's (sort of) got Trassel. She's going to be Queen of Fjerda eventually. She's succeeding in her mission and fulfilling her promise to Matthias. She's happy.

Nina is 17 in the duology, and 17 is awfully young for the fandom to pretend like she's going to be alone and miserable for the rest of her life because her first love died. She will always grieve Matthias and think about what could have been, but the Nikolai duology is proof positive that Nina is not and never will be defined by that one relationship. Nina canonically gets to heal, move on, and end up as happy as the rest of the surviving Crows. The fandom should be able to acknowledge that and be happy for her.

#I am once again reminding people that the entire SOC duology takes place over TWO MONTHS #six of crows #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #crooked kingdom #nikolai duology #grishaverse #nina zenik meta #soc meta

[heliads]

I got the idea for a nina zenik x reader!! I imagine one where in KoS, nina and r work together as spies and fall in love, but since they are in fjerda, they keep everything hidden. after a while, maybe nina will propose that the two of them should go back to ravka and build a family for the two of them because she is ready to put the mourning of matthias behind and love somebody else

masterlist

Although they would not dare breathe a word of it outside the War Room of the Little Palace, the Grisha Triumvirate and the king of Ravka actually put quite a bit of thought into the predicament of who they should send as a spy to Fjerdan territory. In the end, after much deliberation, they decided to send Nina Zenik, won over by her familiarity with the Fjerdan language and culture as well as her powers as a Grisha Heartrender.

And, to appease Nina since she’ll have to tailor her image the entirety of the trip, they send you. It was judged an acceptable cost by all involved. Although Ravka would love to have your services as an expert fighter and spy within the relative safety of her borders, Zoya and Nikolai allow that having a superior inside hand in the inner workings of Fjerda wouldn’t be a terrible thing. That, and making sure Nina’s griping doesn’t cause her to lose sight of her mission.

Nina is a good spy. However, the last year has been hard for her. She was stuck in Ketterdam for the longest time, or so the official story goes, and when she came back, there was a hollowness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. You’ve known her a long time, far before she ended up taking an espionage position that ended with Zoya coming back to you saying that Nina was gone, kidnapped by the drüskelle. You knew her well enough to know that the Nina who came back to you after all those months was not the bubbly girl who waved goodbye from the window of a rolling coach until she disappeared from sight.

If you were in the mood to be selfish, you would admit that you’re pleased she’s back. Nina misses Ketterdam, even if she won’t say it to Zoya and the others. She’s told you about the life she had back there, in bits and pieces at first until it all came pouring out along with oceans worth of tears, and from what you can imagine, it would have been difficult and wild and utterly captivating.

You’ve heard countless stories of Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa and Jesper Fahey, Dirtyhands and his Crows, a hundred jobs that would have gone south were any other criminal leading it. She’s laughed over a Materialnik’s gambling habit, a flute player’s chemicals. She’s cried over a blond soldier who was only just starting to learn how to live without a government hell bent on forcing him into a killer and a zealot. 

Sometimes, when she can’t sleep, Nina stands by the window and looks out over the Ravkan landscape that she used to know so well. She tells you that she’s surprised everything is so clear at night; she’s more accustomed to smoke and the glint of smoggy moonlight over canals. Out here, the air is barren, the hills rolling. It’s oddly natural. This is her home, but she’s called some other place that for so long that it’s strange to be back here.

Nina won’t have to deal with that strange uprooting for long, though, as both of you have shipped out to enemy territory on the king’s request. You’re not sure if Nina accepted the job because she wanted to honor Matthias’ legacy in his home country or keep running away from the life she thought they’d have in Kerch, but either way, both of you are breathing in the shocking cold of lifetimes’ worth of snow, and wondering how in all the Saints you ended up in Fjerda.

Fjerda is not a good place for two Grisha. Both of you are Tailored, but you still expect to be recognized at any moment. Nina is still unavoidably Nina Zenik, at least to you, and Nina claims that she can’t tell they made any changes other than a few superficial things, but that could just be the fact that she’s focusing on the familiar sound of your footsteps instead of glaringly obvious details like your new face.

It’s easy to focus on the Tailoring, though. It takes your attention away from the obvious, which is that both of you are in a country that wants you dead. Both for the fact that you are witches, but maybe– maybe for something else, too–

You had thought nothing of it until an old woman down the street from you took it upon herself to warn you. Nina was scouting out a nearby factory for fear of jurda parem while you stayed back near your place of lodging to keep up an alibi that both of you were totally normal. As you were walking down the street, your neighbor beckoned you over with one curling finger and told you that you would do well to keep your affection under wraps, if you knew what was good for you.

When you asked her what she was talking about, the old woman had said that you and your ‘girlfriend’ were making things a little too obvious. Dazed, you thanked her for her advice, and hurried home so you could properly stew over what she had just said. You and Nina aren’t dating, but the woman seemed so sure of herself.

It could just be one woman’s delusions, but, on second thought, you’re not entirely sure that she was wrong to suspect something. Nina is your only tie to home, and you’re Nina’s only reminder of what she had been like before every calamity in her life. Without each other, both of you would fall apart. Perhaps you’ve been acting like it for a while. Perhaps you’ve forgotten that you cannot stare at each other like you’re witnessing a sunrise and other people will not notice it.

That night, when the exhaustion of the day falls upon you, you crawl into the bed you share with Nina, mind abuzz with memories of that same conversation with the old woman. You’d like to sleep more than anything, but even despite the darkness of the late hour and all the troubles of the pervasive danger of your surroundings, you cannot persuade your eyes to stay closed for longer than a few minutes.

You’re not the only one lost in thought and unable to sleep, as it turns out. Nina tosses and turns next to you, clearly anxious. It’s enough to make you forget your own concerns and look over at her instead.

Your voice, although barely louder than a whisper, seems to boom in the empty room. “Is everything alright, Nina?”

You can hear the rustle of hair against the bedclothes as she shakes her head. “Not in the slightest. This place is messing with my head.”

You shudder slightly. “Trust me, I get it.”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s more than just the mission or the anti-Grisha stuff. It’s– Saints, Y/N, he’s everywhere here. Matthias. Everything reminds me of him. Every child I pass on the street has his eyes.”

You should be a supportive friend, but you can’t help but feel your mood sour when she brings up Matthias. Even if that old woman were right– even if you were to love Nina, which you’re fairly certain would be a far easier task than it strictly should be– you would never be able to do a thing with it. Nina’s heart seems made up on Matthias. There is no room in all her grief for you.

“You miss him,” you say simply, “You’re in mourning, Nina. That’s understandable.”

Quiet for a moment, then:  “No. That’s the worst part. I don’t feel as much grief as I should. It should tear me apart, shouldn’t it? I see young men who look like him, and I think about him, but it’s a quiet feeling. Not terrible.”

“It’s okay to move on,” you whisper. “That doesn’t make you an awful person.”

“Doesn’t it?” She asks. 

“Nina, he died months ago. That’s not enough for the grief to leave you, which is why you’re still thinking about him, especially here, but enough to give you a head start to try. Moving on is always easier than we think it should be. It’s not sacrilege to spend your days doing something other than crying yourself to pieces. That doesn’t ruin his legacy, it just means that time has passed.”

Nina sighs, and the sound seems to engulf the entire room. “Shouldn’t it hurt forever, though? I mean, I was weeping when we buried him in Ketterdam. We all were. I thought that part would last until I died too.”

You reach out into the blind darkness to take her hand. “You have been through terrible things, Nina, but you don’t have to feel terrible forever. You lost Matthias, yes, and you lost your friends in Ketterdam, but you’re allowed to feel happy at some point in your life.”

“I didn’t lose my friends,” Nina points out, her tone suddenly edgy. “I can’t lose them. They wouldn’t do that to me.”

You keep your voice light, careful not to disturb her anymore. “I didn’t mean that you’d lost them like that, just that you’ve separated. That’s all.”

Nina sits up, looking intently down at you. “No, you don’t get it. We didn’t fall apart because it was bad. We didn’t fall apart at all. It just ended. Not because of us.”

You nod your head as much as you can while still lying down. “I know, Nina. I know.”

Her voice is insistent when it sounds again out of the darkness of your shared bedroom. “It wasn’t our fault. We could go back if we wanted to. It’s just that we all had different things to do, you see. We grew up, I guess. We went our separate ways. That doesn’t mean we like each other any less.”

You sit up next to her. Now that the two of you are on eye level, you can see that she’s shaking slightly, her pupils dilated, the green of her irises darker than you’ve ever seen them. “It wasn’t our fault,” she repeats, “None of us wanted to go. We just did.”

You reach out an arm, and for the briefest of moments before you touch skin and fabric, it feels as if you might go on leaning out forever, contacting only the chilly darkness of a room in Fjerda that belongs to neither of you, yearning for someone who is across a sea in mind and perhaps, if she got her way, in body, too. Then your hand meets her shoulder and you can pull her close, staving off the memories of good times that ended until both of you can relax enough to rest.

“They are good friends, aren’t they?” You ask her, voice muffled as you press your lips against the top of her head.

“The very best,” she whispers back. “I’ve met no one else like them.”

You pull back slightly so she can see the teasing expression on your face, and do your best impression of the prepubescent fishmonger who keeps trying to flirt with both of you whenever you leave your house. “Not even me?”

She laughs, knowing what you’re getting at, and pokes you in the ribs. “You’re different. They were family. You’re more.”

This makes you go quiet all of a sudden. Nina, taking advantage of the cessation of voices, pulls you back down to the bed, and she’s asleep in minutes, arms still wrapped around your frame. You, on the other hand, stay awake for far longer than you should, just turning over the words in your head. You’re more, she had said. More than what? More than her crows, which you had assumed had an unshakeable grasp over her heart?

You think about the next day, then the next day, then the next. The weeks turn into months. You stay in Fjerda. Both of you work on your espionage, sending as many secrets to Ravka as you can. There are near misses and close calls, hundreds of them until you’re sure you’ll get caught before you ever get to see your home again.

And then you’re standing the deck of a ship, and a friend both of you like named Hanne Brum has managed to insert herself into the Fjerdan monarchy enough to take over the throne and herald a new era of positive relations with Grisha and Ravka alike, and it occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, you have won.

Nina stands with you. She doesn’t leave you. Neither of you like being without each other for a long time. It reminds you of dark nights when you were never certain that one of you hadn’t gotten caught by the drüskelle and killed. The tension of a thousand cold nights will never leave you, but maybe you will be able to rest again soon. Maybe, you’ll remember what it’s like to live without always looking over your shoulder.

Nina will be able to help with that. You confessed your feelings to her when they became unavoidable. She wasn’t able to answer them at first, but in time, Nina was able to let go of her ghosts and admit the same to you. She will never be rid of Matthias’ memory, but she doesn’t want to be. She just wants to live a good life with you, and she thinks her old lover would want that for her, too.

Sapphire waves course below you. “Can you believe we’re going back?” You ask her.

Nina shakes her head. “I feel like I’ve lived half my life on a ship. Landing always seems strange.”

You chuckle. “Very poetic. If you like, we can go take a victory tour to the Wandering Isle or something. Just so you can get your fill of travel.”

Nina shudders. “No, thank you. My hair is best when not tinged with salt water.”

You kiss her cheek. “I happen to think your hair is best all the time, thank you very much.”

“I agree,” she hums, “but I’ll still be glad to see dry land. I think I’d like to stay in Ravka for a while, actually. Set down roots or something cute like that.”

You smile. “That sounds nice. I might join you in temporary retirement, at least until Zoya calls us back to duty.”

Nina leans her shoulder into yours. “Bold of you to assume you weren’t included in my happily ever after in the first place. I don’t think I want to live without you. Not to be dramatic, of course.”

You pretend to frown. “Not to be dramatic? Who are you and what have you done with my lovely Nina Zenik?”

She grins. “Maybe you’re right. A little bit of drama can’t hurt.”

“That’s what I thought,” you hum.

Despite your teasing, you think Nina is exactly right. You can have a quiet life for a little while. You have no doubt that Ravka will need your help again, likely sooner than you think, but for now, you’re at peace, both of you. You’d like to explore life with Nina without having to fear for your lives. You happen to think that it’ll be very good indeed.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @aoi-targaryen, @budugu

all tags list: @wordsarelife

#nina zenik #nina zenik imagines #nina zenik x reader #nina zenik oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #grishaverse nina #grishaverse nina imagines #grishaverse nina x reader #grishaverse nina oneshot #six of crows #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #six of crows oneshot

[starrynightmovietheatre]

Character Soundtracks - Nina Zenik 🫀

Pomegranate Seeds - Julian Moon

“I’ll own your heart and soul, my lover.”

“He said ‘Will you be mine?’ I said ‘yes, sir if you let me go.’ and he said ‘yes ma’am.’”

“Devil, won’t you bargain with me.”

Nina does own Matthias’ heart and soul, if he hates her or not. Even when he hated her, he hated her with his heart and soul and when he loved her, he loved her with his heart and soul too. It really does just help that she’s a heartrender, she can own people’s hearts, stop them from beating or make them beat too much.

Bargained with the devil (Jurda Parem) just to keep the crows safe, even if it almost killed her in the long run

Without you without them - Boygenius

“I want to hear your story and be apart of it”

“Speak to me until your history’s no mystery to me.”

“I’ll give everything I’ve got, please take what I can give.”

All of this is about her and Matthias, the whole hearing his story and history bit when they escape the ship and are basically just aimlessly wandering around Fjerda.

Also her trying to apologise after they get him out of jail “please take what I can give” what she could give was an explanation and how she tried to take back her accusation but the courts didn’t let her

Seventeen - MARINA

“Could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen.”

“Well you don’t know fuck about my family.”

“Bet you wish I couldn’t speak.”

This girl broke Matthias out of hellgate, the most secure prison, and then broke into and out of the ice court, the most secure building AND a government building, while a very important event was happening when she was seventeen. She then took an incredibly powerful drug that could have killed her and almost did just to protect the crows, SHE WAS SEVENTEEN.

The drüskelle kept her silenced so they definitely wished she couldn’t speak, but a big part of Nina’s character is she is very loud about her opinions.

Season of the witch - Lana Del Rey

“Must be the season of the witch.”

“When I look over my shoulder, what do you think I see?”

“And he’s strange, so strange.”

She is the season of the witch, they literally call her the corpsewitch. “Call me Grisha, call me Zowa, call me death if you like.” Even before she took Jurda Parem she was incredibly powerful and I’m gonna assume heartrenders especially were called witches for their power.

#enjoy the movie ׂׂૢ: ̗̀➛✧.* #play that funky music! 🎵 #grishaverse #nina zenik #Nina Zenik x you #six of crows #crooked kingdom

[gardenofbookworms]

april's monthly: from bee and rose

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

▪︎ adventure/fantasy novel ▪︎

everyone wants something—money, revenge, freedom, love, risk, recognition—tangible or otherwise. but how far are you willing to go for it? how many rules are you willing to break, how many things are you willing to risk, how many people are you willing to lose? is it all worth it, in exchange for what you long for most?

kaz brekker certainly has the will. a cold-blooded thief to the end, he’s known as dirtyhands on the streets of ketterdam, the dirty and crowded kerch capital. there’s absolutely no job he won’t take—anything for the right price. money and greed are his gods, and the revenge they’ll get him, brick by brick, is what he craves above all else. he’s willing to do anything to get what he wants, even break into the world’s most impenetrable safe in its most impenetrable fortress in its harshest, iciest, strictest country—and steal the world’s most valuable man.

it's an impossible job; but then again, kaz makes everything impossible, possible. but of course there’s a hitch; this time, he has to rely on other people to get what he wants. desperate people, people willing to risk their lives for the grand prize—four million kruge each. to kaz, that’s everything he needs to burn his enemies’ world down. to his crew, it's a ticket out of the city—to freedom.

enter inej, the best spider ketterdam has to offer, desperate to pay off her contract and leave the city. nina, a grisha struggling to survive an ocean away from home. jesper, a risk-addicted gambler trying to keep it all together. wylan, a runaway with a gift for chemistry. and matthias, an escaped convict desperate to return home to his beloved fjerda and see to it that nina is dead. there's only a very small chance the crew makes it out alive with their prize. most likely, they’re all going to die—and worse, without being paid.

▪︎

from bee

this book has been on my list for a very, very long time. when i finally got off my ass and read it last year, rose was so excited because they had read it a while before me already. like they’re about to say, there are a zillion good quotes for reference material, and we even use them a lot ourselves.

but about the book itself? soc got me into the “group of rivals band together with a common goal” trope. the way bardugo goes about it is just perfect—it seems that everyone is involved with something unfathomable. and as much as they want to stick to their morals to get past it, the road is tricky (and of course they can't walk it alone). and a note about the character’s pasts: they don't feel made-up, as outlandish as they seem when you boil them down. they're complex and thought through and diverse and give the characters something solid to run towards or away from. all in all, an amazing start to an amazing series.

from rose

i first heard about this book in a very dark little corner of the internet, when a few mutuals read it (together?) and posted about it. it was at least a few months before i actually got around to finding a copy and reading it, but i have never been more grateful for that dark little corner than i was then (okay, so that’s not entirely true, but still).

by the time i made it to, say, halfway through the book, i was absolutely in love with the story—the characters, the plot, the witty humor, everything. and as much as i love the author, none of her other books have quite lived up to the amazingness of this duology. bardugo writes with suspense that will make it literally impossible to put the book down, even if you’re rereading. the wit and humor of the characters is insane; their banter is so much fun to read, and, if you’re like me and love throwing little references into conversation, there is so. much. material. to go off of. and a little side note to bee—jesper is a gay goat lover and there is nothing you can say to change my mind.

▪︎

bonus: spotify playlist!

#six of crows #leigh bardugo #bees + flowers = garden #book recommendations #bookblr #books

[kazscrows]

Crooked Kingdom Reread

Chapter 6: Nina

Nina couldn’t stop staring at Colm Fahey…

Nina describes Colm as having “salt-white skin”

Just how pale is this man??

Also I forgot he’s covered in freckles, but duh?? He’s a pale red head of course he has freckles

Side note: You know who else probably gets freckles? A certain pasty bastard of the Barrel—

…though his eyes were the same clear gray as Jesper’s, they had a seriousness to them, a kind of sure warmth that differed from Jesper’s crackling energy.

It wasn’t only the pleasure of trying to find Jesper in his father’s features that kept Nina’s attention focused on the farmer. There was just something so strange about seeing a person that wholesome standing in the stone hull of an empty mausoleum surrounded by Ketterdam’s worst—herself among them.

Colm Fahey too pure for this world Ketterdam

Also Nina is using a horse blanket to stay warm?? Kinda odd

Come on Kaz steal better blankets- I know you can

Reading about Nina’s battle with jurda parem withdrawals is just really heart wrenching

It messes with her mind. She has thoughts she’d never have. Does things she wouldn’t normally do

She knows Matthias either has the parem or got rid of it and the thought literally makes her violently ill and then she “wept in jags of unsteady tears”

“You’re all a bunch of useless skivs,” she’d said to the silent graves. They didn’t seem to care. And yet somehow the stillness of Black Veil comforted her, quieted her. She couldn’t explain why. The places of the dead had never held solace for her before.

Ohh?? Foreshadowing to her powers changing!!

This is what’s fun about rereads

You notice those details you didn’t the first time

It was the first time she’d tried to use her power since her recovery. She’d broken into a sweat from the effort, and as soon as the bruised color faded, the hunger for parem hit, a swift, hard kick to her chest. She’d bent double, clutching the sink, her mind filled with breakneck thoughts of how she could get away, who might have a supply, what she could trade. She’d forced herself to think of the shame on the boat, the future she might be able to make with Matthias, but the thought that had brought her back to sanity was Inej. She owed Inej her life, and there was no way she was leaving her stranded with Van Eck.

There’s something so beautiful about how every single crow cares for Inej so deeply

They’d all do anything for her

Inej is definitely the glue of their crew and I know she cares for them all equally in return

After the Smeet job Nina searches Matthias for the parem…

I remember my heart squeezing when I read this my first time

Fatigue came on suddenly, a yoke at her neck, the exhaustion at least tempering her frantic need. She rested her forehead against Matthias chest. “I hate this,” she said. “I hate you a little, drüskelle.”

“I’m used to it. Come here.” He’d wrapped his arms around her and gotten her talking about Ravka, about Inej. He’d distracted her with stories, named the winds that blew across Fjerda, told her of his first meal in the drüskelle hall…

I love how Matthias is there for her though

He’s not abandoning her in this struggle even when she gets ugly with him

He knows it’s not really her and he’s going to fight this with her

Back to the present though and that means Colm Fahey

Kaz simply leaned on his cane and said, “Were you followed?”

“No,” Jesper replied with a decisive shake of his head.

“Wylan?”

Colm bristled. “You doubt my son’s word?”

Colm is still standing up for Jesper even after everything that’s happened 🥹

Like he’s still mad at Jesper and rightly so

But the theme of this chapter seems to be not abandoning those you love and I love that

He turned to his son. “I wrote to you, Jes.” His voice was confused, not accusing.

“I … I haven’t been able to collect mail.” After Jesper had stopped attending university, had he still managed to receive letters there?

Nina wondered how he’d maintained this ruse for so long. It would have been made easier by the fact that Colm was an ocean away—and by his desire to believe in his son. An easy mark, Nina thought sadly. No matter his reasons, Jesper had been conning his own father.

I’m right there with Nina on this one

It is sad…

Colm threw down the lump of felt that had been his hat. “I don’t understand any of this. Why would you bring me to this horrible place? Why were we shot at? What has become of your studies? What has become of you?”

Jesper opened his mouth, closed it. “Da, I … I—”

“It was my fault,” Wylan blurted. Every eye turned to him. “He uh … he was concerned about the bank loan, so he put his studies on hold to work with a…”

“Local gunsmith,” Nina offered.

“Nina,” Matthias rumbled warningly.

“He needs our help,” she whispered.

“To lie to his father?”

“It’s a fib. Totally different.”

Wylan and Nina are so quick to jump in and try to help Jesper

Boy are they struggling though

But this is what gets me every time:

“They were swindled,” Kaz said. His voice was as cold and steady as ever, but he held himself stiffly, as if walking over uncertain ground. “They were offered a business opportunity that seemed too good to be true.”

Colm slumped into a chair. “If it seems that way, then—”

“It probably is,” said Kaz. Nina had the strangest sense that for once he was being sincere.

He’s talking about Jordie right here

Him and Jordie

He is being completely sincere

This is his genuine story and he’s laying it out for all to see for Jesper

He doesn’t actually say a lot and no one knows that he’s speaking from real experience but…

From Kaz this feels so... raw-

This shows me his love for Jesper, his closest friend… his brother—

“You barely look old enough to graduate.”

“Ketterdam was my education. And I can tell you this: Jesper never would have turned to me for help if he’d had anywhere else to go.”

“You can’t be so bad, boy,” said Colm gruffly. “You haven’t been alive long enough to rack up your share of sin.”

“I’m a quick study.”

Oh poor Mr. Fahey he has no idea

“Can I trust you?”

“No.”

Colm took up his crumpled hat again. “Can I trust you to help Jesper through this?”

“Yes.”

Kaz cares Kaz cares Kaz cares Kaz ca—

Colm sighed. He looked around at all of them. Nina found herself standing up straighter. “You lot make me feel very old.”

“Spend a little more time in Ketterdam,” said Kaz. “You’ll feel ancient.” Then he tilted his head to one side and Nina saw that distant, considering look cross his features. “You have an honest face, Mister Fahey.”

Colm shot Jesper a puzzled glance. “Well. I should hope so, and thank you for marking it.”

“It’s not a compliment,” said Jesper. “And I know that look, Kaz. Don’t you dare start those wheels spinning.”

Kaz’s only response was a slow blink. Whatever scheme had been set in motion in his diabolical brain, it was too late to stop it now.

Scheming Face™️

A dangerous thing to be on the wrong end of 🤣

The urge to comment on every single line—

But then these posts would be a mile long!

“Mister Fahey,” Kaz said quietly. “You know what they say about walking in a cow pasture?”

Jesper’s brows shot up, and Nina had to stifle a nervous laugh. What did the bastard of the Barrel know about cow pastures?

Oh a whole lot more than you would think

Nina felt a sudden lump in her throat. Matthias had lost his family to war. Nina had been taken from her family to train when she was just a little girl. Wylan had been as good as evicted from his father’s house. Kuwei had lost his father and his country. And Kaz? She didn’t want to know what dark alley Kaz had crawled out of. But Jesper had somewhere to go, someone to take care of him, somebody to say, It’s going to be all right…

…She wished Jesper’s father could take them all with him. She’d never been to Novyi Zem, but the longing for those golden fields felt just like homesickness. Silly, she told herself, childish. Kaz was right—if they wanted justice, they would have to take it for themselves.

These poor kids…

He reached inside one of the niches in the wall.

“My revolvers!” Jesper exclaimed, clutching them to his chest. “Oh, hello, you gorgeous things.” His grin was dazzling. “You got them back!”

“The safe at the Cumulus is an easy crack.”

“Thank you, Kaz. Thank you.”

Any hint of the warmth Kaz had shown Jesper’s father was gone, as fleeting as the dream of those golden fields. “What good is a shooter without his guns?” Kaz asked, seemingly oblivious to the way Jesper’s smile collapsed. “You’ve been in the red too long. We all have. This is the night we start paying our debts.”

Ouch ouch ouch

…

She couldn’t make a mistake, not when Inej’s life depended on it. Nina knew that if she’d been on Vellgeluk, the battle would have gone differently. Inej never would have been taken if Nina had been strong enough to face Van Eck’s henchmen.

And if she’d had parem? No one could have stood against her.

Nina that was not your fault-

You saved everyone in the first book!

Okay okay she does acknowledge that if she’d taken more parem she’d be practically dead

That other sense inside her, the gift that had been there for as long as she could remember, the heart of the power that had been her constant companion since she was a child, had simply ceased to beat.

I imagine this would feel like suddenly losing a limb

Nina felt a strange crawling sensation all over her body, but the need for parem wasn’t screaming through her any longer. I didn’t mean to kill him. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t right now. The guards were down and the plan was in motion.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go get our girl.”

Our first glimpse at Nina using her new abilities!

I’m trying to remember my original thoughts on this… but I can’t

Maybe my theory was just that parem made you a different order of grisha?

But now I know that’s not what’s going on here

Also- Nina calles Inej “our girl” 🥹

She loves her so much!

All the crows love her so much 💕

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#crooked kingdom #six of crows #nina zenik #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #grishaverse #shadow and bone #ck #soc #reading #books #matthias helvar #kazscrowsreadsck #kazscrows #leigh bardugo

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi! Other people have talked about this, but have you ever thought about how the destruction of Kaz's life led to the preservation of the other crows' lives? Without Kaz, none of the other five would have made it to the events of Six of Crows. Inej and Nina would've died at their respective brothels, Wylan and Jesper probably would've died in the streets of the Barrel, and Matthias would've died at Hellgate. I just think it's interesting and almost poetic how all the horrible things that happened to Kaz meant that he was in a position to protect the other crows from horrible fates themselves. Kaz was all alone with no one to help him, but he helped the other crows through his personal tradegy. Five lives were spared while one was destroyed. It's especially considering Kaz's 'destroy everything' mindset. I wonder if the crows realise this. I wonder if Kaz realises this. How would they all react? Sorry, this got really rambly, I just can't stop thinking about it. Do you have any thoughts about this? (Hope you don't mind me asking?)

Hi, first of all of course I don’t mind you asking I live getting questions so much!!! And second of all this is such an interesting topic and it’s so true!! This probably includes a lot of the same things that you’ve already said, but I’m just going to copy and paste a text message I sent my friend about this topic about a year ago:

“I’ve thought about this before and I really think it’s a true statement of Bardugo’s writing skill; they’re lives aren’t inexplicably intertwined or connected so they met by fate for an inscrutable purpose, but their connections with each other allow them survival and to achieve their purpose, whether they believe it to be divine or otherwise, but it’s Kaz, who feels outside of or desperate to the group, that is the cause of it all. He represents so much without doing anything, he is their entire life force in so many ways, but the real tragedy of his story is that his happiness was sacrificed because his purpose is to lead them to their purposes. Nina’s purpose is to unify Fjerda and Ravka, Matthias’ purpose is to lead her there, Inej’s purpose is to protect young people like her, Wylan’s purpose is to create change in the upper classes and to make people realise the hardships faced by everyone in the city, and Jesper’s purpose is to guide Wylan to that. But Kaz? Kaz doesn’t get his own fulfilment, he had to sacrifice his childhood to give them their fulfilment instead, but he will never realise that. His loss of Jordie means that all of them can achieve their purpose and change the world, but Kaz has been left with nothing but blame that he must find someone to pin on. So he gives it to Rollins. Rollins is by no means a good person, but the undeniable fact is that Jordie still would have caught the Queen’s Lady Plague, and probably still died from it because even the richest people who could afford medicine were still being killed by the outbreak. Kaz needs someone to blame and get revenge on so he can bring his own fulfilment about, and I think that’s the most heartbreaking thing about him. Everyone he’s ever cares for found their purpose, but he has nothing beyond destroying Pekka Rollins - and he even admits it himself. He says he’ll take down Rollins, and when asked what he’ll do next he says “I don’t know. Build an empire, then burn it to the ground” ”

Fun fact: that conversation culminated in me saying that I wished there was some way of writing my essays about the Grishaverse, or basically saying that essays shouldn’t be gatekept to academia and that if I want to write and publish studies of the Grishaverse then I should be allowed to. All of you have made that possible for me, it’s amazing, and I can’t believe there are nearly 1000 of you following along thank you so much

Thanks for your question!!!

#grishaverse #leigh bardugo #six of crows #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kanej #soc kaz #six of crows kaz #six of crows meta #soc meta

[mikasimaginairyworld]

The Crows: What they're secretly really good at

I think Matthias is really good at dancing

I'm not sure if the book mentions anything like that

but like

I am convinced Fjerdans have a really thorough education on courtship and things like that

so I am certain that he absolutely slays on the dance floor

like it doesn't matter what

slow dances where he can lead Nina (which she is annoyed about. but he loves it)

fast Zemeni dances with tricks and stuff

gracious and happy Suli folk dances

I imagine him as a kid discovering his love for dance

(I also think it's pretty acceptable in Fjerda to like dance as a guy)

besides being insanely good with guns Jesper can mend nearly anything

like I imagine him as the DIY husband

Wylan wants a bed in a very particular style but it's only available in Ravka? No problem, Jesper will build it

Wylan want a desk with thousands of departments but can't find one anywhere? Jesper is at his service

you get it

Inej can write

I am convinced she writes poems in any language she knows

Suli, Kerch... anything really

I also think she writes songs (even though she can't sing)

she writes stories, poems and even books

if she ever has kids I think she would write them a story for each birthday describing her feelings for them and how much she loves them

and she would turn those into a book and give it to them once they are adults

I also think she was the officiant at Jesper and Wylan's wedding and did the whole ceremony in poetry

Nina is great with animals

I think she is the most skilled person when it comes to training any kind of pet

like I'm sure Trass would have loved her

whenever one of the crows has a pet they give it to Nina for her to train it

and the crazy thing is

the animals actually listen

it's like she has some kind of power over them

they absolutely love her

Wylan cooks like a pro

which makes him Nina's favourite person

although he has a cook he often comes to the kitchen and helps out just because he likes to do it

he always comes up with new recipes and measurements

since he can't read the recipes he measures everything with his heart

(Nina likes this especially when he's making chocolate chip cookies)

even Kaz enjoys this

Kaz loves Wylan's version of Kerch potato soup

(he smiled the first time he tried it)

Kaz can sing

I kid you not he can

he doesn't know that many songs but when I tell you his voice is phenomenal...

at first he only sings the lullaby Jordie sung to him

but soon he learns some Suli songs

he first sung to Inej when she had nightmares about the menagerie and had woken up screaming

he didn't touch her but just sat as close as he could and sang a Suli lullaby which he had heard Inej sing once

#headcanon #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej gafha #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #secret talent #skills #kanej #wesper #helnik

[ibrahim-mazur]

do you have any soc fic recs???

oh i do, i definitely do! but please tell me what you're interested in and what you're not! i read mainly kanej fics so i could link you to a bunch of those if that's what you like and i'll add some wesper/general ones.

i'll link a few down here

Monsters at Midnight by DecafPerception

This is the Jordie lives fic I mentioned the other day, in this au Jordie becomes Dirtyhands and Kaz just gets to be a kid. It's hilarious, makes me cry and I love seeing a version of Kaz where he just gets to be a kid (doesn't mean he changes completely don't worry AND HE STILL MEETS ALL THE CROWS and they annoy the hell out of jordie)

Good Enough by SixofProse

More of a Jesper & Kaz being besties fic as they get drunk and talk about their relationships and their insecurities a bit, but I love them

ten thousand miles away by pyrrhlc

Post CK - Ketterdam gets hit with the Queen Lady's plague again. Kaz loses his shit and focuses on keeping his friends safe and alive.

That fic is good. But heavy. With the pandemic it all hits a bit closer to home I think, the fear, the desperation, the not-knowing. But honestly it's a great fic.

Five Times People Thought Kaz was Like Them (And One Time Matthias Decided he was a Demon) by rainstormdragon

the title is really self explanatory lmao but it's a quick one shot and i like other people's perspective on kaz, it's super interesting to read how other characters interpret kaz in their own way

Leave This Place Unbroken by rainstormdragon

honestly i think i binged rainstormdragon's fics in two days and i don't regret it. this is a super angsty fic about kanej getting kidnapped before they leave to fjerda in soc. kaz gets tortured. all is pain.

die for you in secret by downn_in_flames

another 5+1 fic! 5 times Kaz Brekker didn't say what he was thinking, and 1 time he did. it's fluffy. it's frustrating because it's kaz. i love it

The Astute Tourist's Guide To Ketterdam by terribletruths

honestly i haven't read this in a couple of years but it was in my bookmarks. i remember the amount of detail for kerch culture is insane and the author is one of my favorites

also kaz gets a dog <3

Tatoeëren by Thesuncameout

another dive into my 2021 bookmarks i wrote: who needs soc3 when you have fics like these. kanej fic that spans pre-soc and post-ck. it is rated m if you're not comfortable with that kind of thing.

who is the lamb and who is the knife by OceanEyes1n

jesper takes the jurda instead of nina in soc. this author is incredible and their ideas with the use of durasts and parem is really, really good. this story goes on to have several different parts and it's really well written.

shaking the wings of their exultant and terrible youth by lovebeyondmeasure

some inej stories before soc, her early days in the dregs <3

i love the og crow trio so much so i love seeing things like this. also. another 5+1 lol

only love can hurt like this by leehab23

wesper fic set post ck, in the future. a lot of angst... a lot of smut as well lmao. jesper and wylan broke up and jesper left for novyi zem, returning to ketterdam to finally finish university and finds that wylan (and everyone else) has moved on. :(

sweet as a bowl of candy by demigodbeautiies

modern au wesper fic where jesper is taking care of kanej's daughter and meets wylan and little plumje. it's fluffy as fuck and i want to re-read it right now actually lmao

welp. i went overboard from my original idea of linking five or six fics but i hope any or all of these fics sound interesting to you and if you tell me your interests i'll be glad to send more recommendations if i have them. hope you enjoy <3

#ask #soc