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amiharana · 1 year

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25 for the revalink prompts? Bonus for not the gerudo outfit

(ask game from here)

part two of You Guys Have the Same Brainworm in my Askbox. but aw darn ya got me anon!!! truthfully, if you want me to write this in canon, i'm not sure what other armor sets would incite the same sort of fluster the prompt implies? like i have a zelda wiki open on the botw armor page and i'm going through it like Hm. Not sexy enough. KJDFHJKDHF but i still wanna write this one in canon so we're gonna take the non-horny route on the definition of 'flustered' instead LMAO

👔 25. Link dresses up just to try and get Revali flustered.

"why in the name of the goddess do you have so much clothing?" revali grumbles, crossing his arms. he's sitting in the middle of their shared roost, surrounded by piles of link's collection of armor, growing more and more as the blond continues warping them out of the sheikah slate. how much could that little contraption hold?

"well, i didn't mean to get this much," link says, tapping at the slate. he holds one of his hands out and in the next second, a pair of opal earrings materializes out of blue light in his palm. "at first, it was just out of necessity. you know zelda left me with only one set of shirt and pants when i woke up? it was way too small and that shit had probably been molding for a hundred years."

he places the earrings on the table with the other jewelry he's pulled out of the slate so far. "i mean, thankfully i found some better pants on the great plateau, but i threw that shirt away as soon as i got to hateno. there's definitely some freak in akkala who got ahold of it somehow, though..."

"and then you just kept buying more?" revali says, peering at one of the piles. why did he have so many of the same green tunic?

"in my defense, i just found some of the stuff lying around hyrule!" link replies, raising both of his hands up in surrender. "but the stealth set is really useful, and the snowquill armor is my favorite of all of my armor." he smiles fondly at revali, and the rito can't help but melt a little bit under his songbird's gaze. "and i look really good in the gerudo top and sirwal." link wiggles his eyebrows at revali, his smile growing mischievous. "wanna see?"

warmth coils under revali's cheek feathers, but he wills it away as best as he can. "maybe another time, when you haven't made an actual nest out of our home," he mutters, looking away.

as he does, one of the armor pieces catches his attention. it's designed with glowing swirls of orange and dots of blue, reminiscent of ancient sheikah technology. "what's this one?" revali says, pulling the piece towards himself. the shoulder ridges sort of remind him of the crest of medoh's head...

link follows his gaze and hums. "that one's the ancient cuirass," he says. "you're supposed to wear it with the greaves over here—" link reaches over to a piece of the other side of revali, revealing matching pants. "and also the helm, but uh... the headpiece is honestly kinda goofy, so i just wear the diamond circlet because it's prettier."

he reaches back towards the table to find the circlet and places it on the head. link then places his hands under his chin and slightly turns his face to the side. "don't i make a prettier princess than zelda like this?"

revali snorts. "sure." he turns back to the cuirass. the orange glow honestly reminds him too much of windblight; the swirling patterns are too similar and he fights down a shiver. he has to remind himself that the sheikah technology had existed prior to the influence of ganon and that it was always meant to be used for good. "what does the helm look like?"

link giggles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "well, uh, here's the one i bought from robbie..." he taps at the sheikah slate and something that looks vaguely like the head of a guardian materializes and drops in link's lap. he holds it up towards revali, grinning in a way that looks more like a grimace.

revali blinks once and then his eyes widen, staring in disbelief at the headpiece. "what... in hylia's name is that," he says taking the helm from link. at closer inspection, the glowing blue circles dotting the circumference of the helm are reminiscent of guardian eyes, or like windblight's. revali shivers this time; he decides he doesn't like the helm at all.

link laughs again nervously. "yeah, like i said, it looks goofy and i feel really silly wearing it..." he trails off, looking away before perking up again. "oh! i have other ancient helms that you might like better than this one."

"robbie made more?" revali says, looking up at link.

the blond shakes his head, tapping at the slate again. "nah, he only made that one, and these ones..." he pauses, chewing on his lip. "um... would you believe me if told you these ones fell out of the sky after i defeated the ganon blights?"

revali blinks once slowly and stares at link, searching his face for any hint of mischief. the only expression on his little jewel's face is hesitance and wariness. "and how exactly would they have done that?"

"dunno, i couldn't explain it even if i tried," link says, shrugging. he taps at the sheikah slate again and another helm materializes from blue light, dropping in the blond's lap. but this time, revali's eyes widen. "i have four of these ones and they all look like—"

"what the hell?" revali exclaims. "how— what— where did you—?!" it feels like every feather on revali's body has risen, standing straight up. he probably looks ridiculous right now, but every part of his body is flushing warm with a feeling he can't put a name to. the helm looks like exactly like medoh's head, or perhaps more accurately, a smaller version of it.

link stares at him, frozen in place holding the helm. "uh... like i said, it kinda just... fell out of the sky after i beat windblight..." chewing on his lip, he slowly holds the helm out to revali. "do you wanna...?

revali just stares at the headpiece with wide eyes for a moment. how did link even get a hold of this? it was supposed to be... slowly and warily, revali takes the helm from link and turns it over in his hands until he's looking at it head-on. it really looks just like medoh.

"you said it fell out of the sky," he murmurs, running the tip of a feathered finger over the ridges of the helm, "but why... why was it given to you... and how did it get to you if..." he trails off, finally speechless.

"if what?" link says softly, trying to prompt revali to continue.

"this is the divine helm of medoh," revali says, his voice quiet. "it's supposed to be a treasure gifted to the one who controls medoh. and as her champion, this was gifted to me back then. i lost it during the awakening of the calamity and after windblight took over..." revali resists the urge to tremble. "i don't know what happened to it. how it came to be in your hands is..."

"i don't know either," link says. "i don't know why it was given to me either. i have other helms that look like the heads of the other divine beasts, too. if that one was yours, then i guess those helms belong to the other champions. i should give them back..." the blond fidgets. "do you... want yours back? it's not like i use it that much anyway. it's just been sitting in the slate collecting dust— i mean, if it could collect dust in there, i don't know how it's stored—"

"it's fine," revali cuts him off, his voice soft. he's still staring at the helm. "just keep it with you for now. the role of the champions and the use of the divine beasts is obsolete now, with ganon sealed away. i wouldn't have a use for it either."

"are you sure?" link murmurs. revali looks back at him and his precious little jewel's eyes are wide and shining. revali doesn't know if it's possible to love a person more than what he feels for link in this moment.

"yes, i'm sure, songbird," he replies and hands the helm back. "it will probably be safer with you in the sheikah slate as well. you'll take good care of it, right?"

"of course," link responds immediately. "it's yours, of course i will." he turns back to the sheikah slate and taps at it again. in seconds, the helm dematerializes in blue light, presumably back into the slate. revali wonders then how anything is stored in there; is it an endlessly sheikah-blue space, floating forever in a void inaccessible from this world?

then, link sets the slate off to the side and crawls forward into revali's lap, wrapping his arms around revali's neck. like clockwork, the rito responds by wrapping his own arms around link's waist and holding him flush against his own body.

"i'm sorry," link blurts suddenly.

revali raises a brow. "what for?"

"that i had the helm. i should have realized that it would probably be yours."

revali snorts. "it was, in the past. i'm not sure i'm worthy enough to have it now, failing my role as a champion and no longer being required as one. you don't need to suffer any feathers over it, snowdrop."

"i guess..." link shifts in his hold so that the side of his head rests on revali's shoulder and he faces revali's neck. "but you are worthy. you're always worthy of it, 'vali, even if we don't need champions anymore. i love you, you know that, right?"

"i do," the rito responds softly. "and i love you as well, much more than you could ever fathom, songbird. thank you." he hears link hum, a content noise against his throat. they sit like that, wrapped in each other's embrace quietly for a couple moments until link speaks again.

"wanna see me in the gerudo fit now?"

"link—"

#revalink #loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #ask #ask game #amihan's revalinkverse #the sheikah slate is a clown car and link is its driver #slate anon i love you if you're out there #i used some creative liberty with this prompt sorry that revali was flustered for only like 0.2 seconds n it probably was not what u meant #i feel like the ending is messy 😭 i wanted to demonstrate link being really attentive to revali's pride possibly being hurt #they both have very complex feelings about their previous role as champions and the perception of being a hero/warrior #as people who both failed to fulfill that role during the calamity the helm may serve as a testament to that failure #WELL ANYWAYS.#revali be like how the FUCK did you get this. this is MINE #link is like look shawty i don't know either it came to me in a vision #no you know what i DO like how this turned out #one thing about me is i want to explore the narrative reasons for why anything ever occurs the way it does in the botw world #BUT THE ACTUAL ENDING LINES HEHEHHEHEHDKJHFSJKDF #revali agrees that link Does look very nice in it hehe

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fefairys · 6 months

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what some are failing to understand is that when i drive home how much i love early homestuck, it is not to say i think early homestuck is superior to other parts of homestuck. it’s actually to say that i think early homestuck is just as good and worth reading as other parts of homestuck, because there is a pretty common attitude of “early homestuck is boring and skippable” which i strongly disagree with. i don’t think any part of homestuck is skippable. i love every part of homestuck. yes, that part too. and that one. yep. even that. even THAT?? especially that.

#i love post canon too #homestuck #i think some people get twisted up and they’re like #‘well you may think early homestuck is boring but i actually think it’s BETTER than the rest of the comic and that hivebent SUCKS ACTUALLY #so THERE!’ and it’s like ok u don’t have to do all that #all of it is good actually #i also just don’t agree with like ‘i wish they did more syllables shenanigans’ like frankly there was plenty #there is just enough sylladex shenanigans imo #there is a lot of shit going on you want MORE ??#idk the only thing i’d ever ask for more of in homestuck is jade/rose convos #that is literally the only thing i could say ‘i wish we had more of this in homestuck’ about #everything else is like. there was enough.#there was enough for was needed for the story #sure i would have liked more feferi but i think she served her purpose we don’t NEED more of her #yknow

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lesbaurinkos · 6 months

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yknow it must be said that sometimes a season of television is so so so bad and just atrociously written, terribly paced, cheap costumes, characters assassinated left and right, you wonder why you're even watching this all unfold still, but sometimes, also. also that season of television will also have your favorite character, the character that is your best friend in the whole world, the character you consider a close personal bestie so wholeheartedly, well sometimes he & his boyfriend will be pretty much the only ones left in-character. and then they get to get very sweetly engaged & then gay married. seconds after the character whose downfall you were praying for finally fucking dies. an incredibly funny death too. and so maybe sometimes a terrible season of tv can still have, like, one thing. two things. and sometimes the posts that come out of it afterwards are so funny they almost make it all worth it

#about NOTHING in particular of course!#god. no writing no plot no pacing no real vibes even BUT god at least theres my bff.#they may have assassinated the ensemble cast in the Show Given Charm By Its Ensemble Cast... but at least not my bestie!#at least my bffs were having gay sex for 24 hours while i felt torchured badly.#god. sorry for watching just such a bad season of television and yet i sure did do that.#frankly bc i dont make good choices! u know this about me tho. its fine #oh and minnie driver was serving utmost cunt. she was such a saving grace as well. god bless!#sorry anyways. dont watch bad tv everyone u will feel tormented by demons forever and ever.#says guy on destiel website celebrating destiel day but whatever thats DIFFERENT thats bad tv thats Needed. by us all

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bigbrainbiology · 11 months

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The very last lineart I managed to do with pen pressure before appy pen fully ded XD

I guess it's single line-weight only stuff for a while (yes I have a replacement but no pressure sensitivity)

#original art #digital art #my art #I'll miss using diff line pressures #but not enough to pay £139 full price for a stylus that may only last a year and a half #I might have whined in my tags and been a bit annoying abt it dying to my sister #(sorry lmao but I bought u sushi soooo <3)#but I'm not seriously upset as I bought it with SL and student discount #Maybe I'll get a new one during black friday sales? Meh #rest in piece apple pencil you should've lasted longer (Sep 2021 - June 2023)#your replacement shall serve me well #especially at a third of your full price

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windmillwizard · 9 months

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url change

freddeye -> windmillwizard

#rip to freddeye u have served me well all these years *salute emoji*#also i may change it up at some point if I'm not feeling windmillwizard #anyway ive been wanting a different user that isn't linked to my name for like forever lol. esp bc i am not married to freddie being my nam

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hivepixels · 1 month

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#thinking abt sollux not giving a shit for the hemocaste order again #on one hand it makes his dynamic with eridan and feferi funnier knowing he'd only been gauging them by their surface-level personalities #but on the other. yknow when you're the audience following along our main stumbleboy karkat #knowing his over-the-top reactions and neuroticisms stemmed completely from his entire complex around his blood clr #there's something so remarkably pretty abt hussie giving us that hint of sol's stance on the hemospectrum hierarchy #like. *we* know this about sollux bcs hussie gave us that crumb. but its left unclear whether or not karkat does #and so the natural progression of that turns into fanworks portraying karkat revealing his blood to sollux on his own volition #with subsequent sol's reaction of ok alright good to know whatever idc.#it cldve been funny if there were portrayals of sollux actually weirded out or even casteist about it. but. how could that be?#he'd shut down that possibility the moment he wondered what clr was below yellow.#mumblings #idk. its always little things like this that make me weep for them #their relationship is so contained in bits and pieces of high intensity moments #what u see is what u get its just so straightforward. never got the chance to be dragged out longer than it needed to be #their friendship served its purpose well both narration-wise and character-wise. and wrapped up quietly as it finished #i cant help but appreciate that. it feels very preserved and compartmentalized as its own entity #there may not be much but i can hold that memory of them in a little box and revisit that box anytime i wish #the same way ppl get excited when sollux reappears onscreen from the void #the same way ppl get excited when slkt gets an interaction post-canon #the same way karkat gets excited when he sees sollux again #sigh. wish i could write a Thing like theirs. but i cant ill get teary

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quietluvr · 3 months

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HE'S A PUNCHLINE: Eric Adams, the negro cop. oink oink.

NYC City Council prevented Eric Adams from vetoing two bills that would improve safety, comfort, and peace of mind for all New Yorkers. They finally stopped this bootlicking schmuck from ruining our lives (any further). He's got his nose so far up NYPD ass, he can't wake up and smell the shit storm that's been brewing since his little 'homeless encampment' round-up – he thought a ride-along through 'dangerous neighbourhoods' (bklyn is infinitely grimier than the upper oughts, but I wouldn't expect someone who lives in Jersey to know much about that.) would sway a council who has sat back and watched him make a mockery of his Mayoral title... it's laughable. He's a joke.

Excerpt from the New York Post, a decidedly dastardly publication:

#captain of a modern day slave patrol #a tap dancing coon who lives to serve his boys in blue #the same boys in blue who victimized him in his youth #something something if u can't beat em join em #what's it called when you actively make yourself a tool of the oppressor?#cooning? but in academic terms #ah well. at least the evil has been defeated thus far #god bless Jumaane Williams & Tracie Keesee & may hellfire lick at Bill Bratton's heels for eternity – amen <3

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kalki-tarot · 3 months

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GOOD THINGS HAPPENING FOR YOU IN NEXT 6 MONTHS ✧˖°.

Timeless | pick a picture | Masterlist

Tarot is not 100% correct all the times and does not replace medical or professional treatment. Your destiny lies in your own hands and you create your own reality. Kalki tarot is not responsible for any decisions made on behalf of this reading by anyone.

Pile 1

You are finally walking away from things that don't serve you in the next 6 months

Your hard work will be acknowledged by your seniors or superiors

Someone will offer you a helping hand or emotional support

Small investments will convert into big profits

Your intuition will increase and you will connect more to your higher self

Someone's true nature will be revealed to you (water sign, masculine energy)

Some truth will come to surface and will be known to you

A love message / offer / confession on valentine's day

You will gain stability after a long time of being drained

An exciting text message!

New friends, new people and new communication

Pile 02

You are getting the needed rest and relaxation

A trip of travel / break from work and going on a vacation

People who don't match up your energy are finally leaving your life in next 6 months

You will be blessed with Material abundance and generational wealth

A result coming in your favour

Your Emotional well being improving

Mental clarity and a state of letting go of things that don't serve you anymore

Alignment with your goals

You are getting some reward or recognition for your hard work

A manifestation is coming to you in the 3d

A successful deal will take place and things will go your way

A new relationship is forming here, something you were anxious about will go very well according to your plans

Pile 03

Your dream wedding is taking place

A party or meetup with friends and family

Your family and you are having a great time and things are being resolved by their own

A communication is coming fastly towards you which you were waiting for a long period of time

A wish fulfilment

International travel

Your trauma is being healed in the next 6 months

Maybe you will finally meet a therapist or a nurturing human being who will help u heal and serve an important purpose in your life

Balance and harmony in your mental state

Things are getting better for you

Something about your moon sign will be beneficial for you, or some astrology related thing happening with your moon sign in your favour

You will receive a bouquet of flowers

You will go to a beach / water body for relaxation

You learn something about your ex which will help u move on from them / their true nature will be revealed to you through divine intervention for your betterment

You will finally complete or break a karmic cycle.

Pile 04

A mental conflict or fight will get resolved

You are advised to not spend too much money on useless things

You will do some charity work or just volunteer for people

You will know some divine secret

A wish is getting fulfilled in the next 6 months

If you are thinking of confessing your love to someone, do it! They will day yes to you!

You will finally leave your comfort zone and go out on a date

Something significant from the past will inspire you to start something new soon

A new beginning in something is quickly on its way to you

You will be presented lot's of options in love or career to choose from

You will finally rise from the ashes

Your family or loved ones will help you with something with which u are struggling rn

A situationship will come to an end and will being communication

Things may get delayed for you but they are coming on the right time

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hitomisuzuya · 9 months

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electro archon scara breeds u cus I'm mentally ill!!!!!!!!! also what instruments do you see scara playinf????

- ⚡ anon if that hasn't been taken

Electro!Archon Scaramouche x fem!reader. Begging. Vision play (Electro vision Scara) Overstimulation. Degradation. Begging. Breeding kink. God complex. Ego stroking. Bondage. Fingersucking.

Don't worry, we both completely sane. Electro Archon Scaramouche breeding me...yes please. You just know that God complex is going to be off the charts. He deserves to be an Archon! And🥺 I see Scara being able to play the piano, the violin, and the guitar.

Your wrists were tied above your head, you were straddling Scaramouche, grinding needily down against his cock, his fingers pumping in and out of your mouth. His other hand was busy stimulating your clit with Electro.

You were starting to whimper and mewl, choking happily on his fingers whenever he felt like it. Scaramouche loved how desperate you were rapidly starting to look. He has something of a twisted, smug smirk on his face.

You were starting to get overstimulated. That's what he wanted. Now he could order you to start begging for him. The more overstimulated you were, the louder you begged and cried for him.

Scaramouche pinched your clit before smacking a hand across your ass. "Well, get started, slut. Tell your God how much you want to be fucked and bred. Depending on how well you beg, I may consider letting you cum with these," He pushed his fingers into your throat again before pulling them out of your mouth.

He considered being cruel and taking his hands off of you completely, but your cunt just felt too wet on his cock to keep his hands off of you. They found your hips, guiding your pace while you grinded needily on his cock.

Your walls were starting to clamp around nothing, making you whimper. He brought your chest to his mouth so he could flick Electro onto your nipple with his tongue, making your back arc in pleasure. "I can't hear you," He purred, curling his tongue around your nipples to suck on.

"My Lord Archon! My God! Please fuck me! Breed me! My only purpose to is to serve as your cock sleeve and worship you!" You pleaded, struggling against the Inazuma silk bindings tying your wrists together above your head trying to feel the head of his leaking cock against your entrance.

Scaramouche curled his fingers underneath your chin, his eyes dark with lust. "Good girl," He purred, swirling his tongue around your nipple before kissing you. His teeth bite at your lips. "Now tell me how much you want me. Sing my praises, whore."

You were more than happy to oblige him. You licked at his mouth submissively, making him groan in bliss. The more you showed submissive worship, the harder his cock throbbed for you.

"I want you, my Lord Scaramouche," Archons, he loved it when you called him Lord. "Nobody can fuck me this good. I live to worship you, you deserve it. Nobody is more powerful than you. And because I--" He held his breath, waiting for what you were going to say next.

You kissed him, open mouthed and passionate. "Because I love you," Scaramouche moaned in bliss the second the words came spilling out of your pretty mouth. Squeezing your hips possessively, he lifted you and lowered you down onto his cock all at once, making you scream with pleasure.

Scaramouche nearly cummed on the spot from how tightly your cunt clenched around his cock. "What a good girl, a pathetic whore.." He groaned, sending jolts of Electro buzzing against your clit while he rubbed it, making you bounce eagerly on his cock.

The way he pushed his cock deep into your cervix conveyed one thing, to fuck you senseless and breed you full. He wanted to see cum leaking from your cunt, a buldge poke up in your stomach from how deep was inside of you.

Scaramouche licked his lips in anticipation, pushing this thumb around the buldge when he saw it. "Cum inside of me, Scara! Please!" You cried out between loud whimpers and moans of pleasure. "Fuck me until I can't hold anymore of your cum! Fuck me dumb!"

Your whole body shook when your orgasm washed over you suddenly, the intensity making your fingernails dig into your palms.

The feeling of your release gushing out onto his cock brought Scaramouche to his own orgasm. Holding you into his lap, he slammed his cock up inside of you, feverishly fucking you down onto his cock. "What a slut, cumming without permission from your Lord," He hissed, hovering a hand over your throat.

You tilted your head, showing your throat to him in further submission. His fingers prodded at your throat, smirking when your walls clamped around his cock.

He tore the silk, freeing your wrists. Pushing you down onto the bed, he pinned them above your head, pulling out of you just to slam back inside of you. "I hope you capable of crying louder this time, kitten. I'm not finished with you yet."

#genshin impact #genshin smut #fem!reader #genshin imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n

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astonmartinii · 10 months

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hi!! i dont know if you're still taking requests but if you are, can you please do a max verstappen smau with fem reader, where reader is a huge max fan and they like end up together in the end. i love all of your work and i've probably reread most of your work!! your doing great and i hope you have a good day 🫶

worlds biggest fan | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

y/n is the president of the official max verstappen fan club, but nothing can come of that, right?

(this'll probably just be part one so let me know if you want a part two)

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and 31,239 others

maxverstappenarchive: max took the win at monza this weekend after a late safety car. the dutchman once again showed he’s a mentality king ignoring all the boos from the tifosi. they hate what they can’t have.

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user1: max verstappen the man you are

maxverstappen1: 🧡

maxverstappenarchive: super max 🏆

yourusername: jealousy is a disease get well soon xoxo

user2: i love how she comments like we don’t know she runs this account

user3: SHES THE ADMIN???

user4: i personally love when maxverstappenarchive gets sassy with it like the caption didn’t have to serve so hard

yourusername: someone has to defend him and it’s got to the point i no longer need to argue with people over the internet i need a GUN

liked by maxverstappen1

user5: we can see you by the way max

yourusername

liked by victoriaverstappen, maxverstappen1 and 3,429 others

yourusername: the library knows my face way more than it should :(

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user6: she’s almost too cool to be the literal president of the max verstappen fan club

user7: no i need her to be this cool cause it makes us 10% cooler by association

user8: she single-handedly covers us from the embarrassment from the middle aged drunk men in the orange army

user9: she’s so chill about the fact that victoria and max are just constantly in her likes

yourbff1: i can assure you she is not chill about it

yourbff2: like at all

yourbff1: wow i wonder who takes these lovely pictures of you at the library and conveniently only takes them when you’re not having a meltdown

yourusername: i love yewwwww xxx

yourbff1: you can repay me when you become a wag

yourusername: PLS don’t say that i shan’t abuse my position as president

yourbff1: shame

maxverstappen1 liked this comment

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 552,895 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, georgerussell63

f1: it all got a little much in the baku sprint race as george russell made contact with max verstappen on the opening lap giving the red bull damage for the entire race. the two came to blows in parc ferme with verstappen sending a number of expletives russell’s way. what do you think?

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user15: is mad max back?

user16: he never left he’s always been a big whiny baby, lewis would never

user17: no need to call russell a dickhead, crashtappen can’t handle someone actually racing him for once - just like his dad

maxverstappenarchive: max has never been a “whiny baby”, he may have been a little hot-headed and someone who always spoke his mind but he could never be categorised as a whiny baby. if you have such a problem with drivers calling other drivers dickheads then you should take it up with hamilton who did the exact same a few seasons ago. you simply have a problem with max’s success which is a you problem and there is no reasonable reason for you to bring jos verstappen into this argument, it immediately invalidates your argument.

user18: period oh my

user19: she spilt so hard here

user20: ignoring whatever domestic just happened in this comment section to say that i don’t care who is in the right - i just live for the drama

f1wagsandtea

liked by pierregasly, user22 and 21,341 others

f1wagsandtea: meet y/n y/ln, the president of the max verstappen fan club. she’s a student at UCL studying english literature and french and unapologetically defends max at all times. however people have been taking notice of how she’s never actually been to a race and how max has been subtlety liking comments about their relationship potential. what do you think about y/n and max?

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user23: kinda creepy that she literally runs his fan club but also it’s kinda cute idk i’m having a crisis over this

user24: i need this not to happen cause i’ll become so delusional and think i can pull charles

yourusername: some people are broke i’m working to go to a race but unfortunately i need food and a place to live first

user25: speaking for the broke queens i love you

maxverstappen1: it’s a bit too late to sort tickets for this weekend, but i can do dinner next week?

yourusername: time and address and im there

user26: bro the dms are there for a reason

maxverstappen1: noted

user27: why did you say that i wanted to witness max verstappens rizz :(

yourbff1: i usually hate these accounts cause y’all too nosey for your own good, but you got my bestie a date with her dream man so you get a pass just this once

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff1 and 6,199 others

yourusername: slow weekend

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user30: she's playing it too cool i'd be a literal puddle on the floor rn

yourbff1: rest assured that she's been screaming about it for at least the last three days

maxverstappen1: 🧡

yourusername: amazing race maxy 🦁

user31: she's so cool but also CAT

user32: my spidey senses are picking up cat play dates with jimmy, sassy and ... the orange one yourusername: his name is moose user32: not what i was expecting but seems fitting user33: was half-expecting his name to be max maxverstappen1: me too yourusername: guys i'm not that bad yourbff2: her old goldfish was named max yourusername: STOP EMBARRASSING ME

maxverstappenarchive

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 47,831 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

maxverstappenarchive: max won the belgian grand prix to take his win tally to 35 career wins! congratulations max 🧡

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user34: so like when is he legit going to be in the goat conversation?

user35: genuinely this dominance is so so impressive

maxverstappen1: see you in a couple days 🧡

user36: leave the flirting to the personal accounts verstappen yourusername: i'm so excited you wouldn't believe

redbullracing: in max we trust

maxverstappenarchive: generational talent

user37: i know they won't but can someone livestream this date cause i wanna watch maxverstappenarchive lose her literal mind

yourusername: no mind will be lost i am a grown woman yourbff1: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

yourusername added to their story

[caption: hot summer nights, mid july]

maxverstappen1 added to their story

[caption: no one tell brad]

note: i nearly got to the photo limit so i'm gonna leave this here but i have a lot of ideas for this scenario so let me know if yall want a second part !! also hope this actually fulfilled the original request ??

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen instagram au

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kcrossvine-art · 4 months

Text

Hi friends! Just a day after this years Yule and a few days out from Christmas, regardless of what you celebrate during this winter months, we're gonna be cooking a tangy tango between two traditional english staples-

Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail from Lord of the Rings Online!

(You can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Yule Plum Pudding?” YOU MAY ASKPlum Pudding is not a "pudding" as us americans think of it; its closer to a fruitcake but less shit.

Cranberries

White raisins

Macerated prunes (in brandy)

Chopped candied peel

Blanched almonds

All-purpose flour

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cloves

Sugar

Breadcrumbs

Lemon zest

Unsalted butter

Eggs

Whole milk

Half a bottle of brandy

It also doesnt contain any capital-P plums! it actually does contain plums im so fucking stupid i never connected the dots that prunes were dried plums oh my god. But they still ued any dried fruit, and "Plum" here is just referring to any dried fruit. And what about the birth of todays wassail?

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

Cinnamon sticks

2 lemons

A bottle of sherry

The other half bottle of brandy

Wassail is very similar to apple cider drank in the fall, with a few differences like the addition of pears and different alcohol source. It was commonly drank while "wassailing" which was a Yuletide predecessor to christmas carolling. People would go door-to-door with a big bowl of wassail, play music, and give well wishes- offering drinks from the wassail in return for small gifts!

AND, “what does Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

The puddings like a fruitcake but if a fruit cake tasted good and wasnt a brick

Its thick and rich, and somehow actually tastes like plum despite that not being intended or making sense

I love the macerated prunes so much. Juicy berries to forage for. Enrichment

The icings reminiscent of buttercream but more savory than sweet

The wassail is like drinking the golden edges off the clouds at sunset

Its got a little bit of the dryness from the sherry that makes your mouth water the moment you stop drinking it

You just want to keep drinking more to sate yourself

Even without eggs its surprisingly full bodied and thick

I had to make a few substitutions from traditional elements due to either being not available or too expensive, but with a little problem-solving nothing was too hard to do.

. Used a bundt cake pan instead of a pudding tin . Suet (animal fat) was historically used for plum pudding. I couldnt find any and used butter instead . Used golden delicious apples when called for . Used concorde pears when called for . Some wassail recipes fold in egg whites before serving, to make the drink creamier. I didnt do this, but if you do, the recommendation to drink it fresh still stands (and strongly)

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I gotta admit, I was nervous approaching this recipe. Not only because I didn't own and couldnt find a "pudding tin" without ordering online, or because the concept of steaming a pastry(?) feels foreign and odd, but also because of how old and storied this dish is. You always run into the issue with historical foods who date back to the times where oral history was the only history. The issue of people being combative that their recipe is the only true variant of the recipe, and all the others are mucking the whole thing up.

Its good to remember that like with most dishes, cooking is something that evolved and continues to evolve overtime. Unless someones trying to rewrite history and claim that ants on a log is a creme brule in which case you should run them over with a '98 Pontiac Sunfire.

Theres a few things I'd do differently when cooking again, like chopping the blanched almonds. They were a bit too big when left whole. And adding some amount of heavy cream to the icing? Maybe? To give it a fluffier/milkier feel? But the proces of cooking itself was very straightforward and I have no real complaints or modifications to make. When having leftovers of the pudding it did seem to "mature" and taste better and better the more days i kept it in the fridge, so thats something to keep in mind! But it tastes great a day after all the same.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Happy winter everyone! Congrats to another year of staying alive!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Yule Plum Pudding Ingredients:

16oz cranberries

12oz white raisins

9oz macerated prunes

4oz chopped candied peel (any fruit)

2oz blanched, chopped almonds

4oz all-purpose flour

Measure spices with your heart (cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves)

8oz granulated sugar

8oz fresh white breadcrumbs

lemon zest (one lemon)

4oz grated unsalted butter

4 eggs

8oz whole milk

Pudding Icing Ingredients:

1½oz unsalted butter

1½oz all-purpose flour

10½oz whole milk

3oz granulated sugar

2 tablespoons brandy

Yule Plum Pudding Method:

A week before making, macerate your prunes in brandy.

Mix together all the dried fruit, peel, and almonds. Sieve flour and spices together then add to the fruit mixture along with the sugar, breadcrumbs, rind, and grated butter.

Beat eggs and then blend with 8oz of milk.

Stir the egg/milk mixture to incorporate into the dry ingredients. Add prunes, and stir some more.

Put batter into a well-buttered pudding basin, with parchment paper to cover.

Get a large pot and place a kitchen towel or something similar at the bottom- then place the pudding basin on top of the towel, inside the large pot.

Fill the outer pot with water until it’s halfway up the side, cover the pot with a lid (or foil).

Steam on the stovetop at 210f for 4-6 hours depending on size of pudding basin. If the water gets too low, add a bit more.

After steaming, uncover and allow to cool to room temperature. Do not remove it from the pudding basin! Cover with fresh parchment paper and foil and store in a cool, dry place for at least a day.

(optional) to reheat; steam for 40-80 minutes, until warmed through.

Pudding Icing Method:

Place butter in a medium saucepan with the flour, pour in the milk then whisk everything vigorously together over a medium heat.

As soon as it comes to simmering point and has thickened, turn the heat to its lowest setting, stir in the sugar, and let the sauce cook for 10 minutes.

Add the brandy and stir to mix. Keep warm until required.

Wassail Ingredients:

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

4 Cinammon sticks

2 lemon

1 bottle of Sherry

½ bottle of Brandy

Wassail Method:

Core the apples and pears, leave the rest intact, and set in a baking pan. Fill the hollow centers with brown sugar.

Add about an inch of water to the pan and bake at 350f for 30 minutes, or until the fruit is soft.

Move the fruit to a large pot, add a bottle of sherry, half a bottle of brandy, lemon peel, and 4 large cinnamon sticks. (Feel free to use less booze!)

Bring the pot to a simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Strain before serving!

#cross cooks lotr #dessert #baking recipes #the lord of the rings #digital art

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