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ponderingmoonlight · 1 month

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Hi! I just love your levi fics so much!

For a request I was hoping for something like this -

Levi & reader had grown up together along with Isabel and farlan, when the group gets sent off onto their fateful mission levi thinks reader died alongside with Isabel and farlan. (Angst)

Only to discover years later that reader was alive and actually doing very well for themselves, well known and a strong fighter. Just a very cute reunion fic maybe? Maybe romance 👀 thanks! <3

🦅- Anon

this was an emotional rollercoaster I'm still crying babe but here you go, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <3

Levi thinking he lost his sun forever only to find you again after years

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Word Count: 3,3k

Synopsis: It's been 1869 days since you were killed by the abnormal titan Isabel and Farlan lost their lives to as well, 1869 days of missing you and regretting that Levi didn't tell you about his true feelings when you were still alive. Little does he know you aren't so easy to get rid of and that you are still out there...

Warnings: death, blood, war scene, depression, full on hurt to comfort, super duper fluff in the end, as usual not proofread because I need to go to bed now hehe

Notes: Finally my first Levi fic after literally MONTHS! I know a lot of you were patiently waiting for more attack on titan content and I'm beyond sorry it took me so long babes. Please let me know how you feel about Attack on Titan content so that I might do more and especially regular fics in the future <3

He can’t take his eyes off you. To be exact, the sunlight suits your facial features so well that it seems impossible to ever let go of your sight.

You have been friends since he met you on that day exactly 6 years ago, when you tried to steal a load of food for a heavy pregnant woman. Since then, he was captivated by your beauty, your brain, your skills. But somehow, this makes the stinging fact that you sit beside him even worse.

“You shouldn’t be here, (y/n)”, he speaks out before he’s able to stop himself.

Immediately, your gaze drifts away from the dreamy scenery to him, eyes widen in surprise.

“What are you talking about, Levi?”

Don’t say his name while looking at him like that, not with that gentle tone in your angelic voice. He told himself over and over that you are nothing but a close friend, maybe considered family like Isabel and Farlan.

He huffs to himself. What a filthy little lie.

“This mission is dangerous. I don’t want you to get-“

“Hurt? Killed? You told me about all those things more than once and I’m happy to repeat myself again for you: I will not leave you, Farlan’s and Isabel’s side. After all, we are friends, right? And friends don’t leave each other behind.”

You gift him with your usual breath-taking smile while his heart skips a beat.

A friend.

He has to remind himself over and over again, force his orbs away from you. You are nothing but friends. And he will never risk to lose you over the potential of something more.

-the evening before the mission-

“I thought I’d find you here”, your teasing voice shouts from behind.

You are probably the last thing he wants to see this evening. Not because he doesn’t enjoy your company, but because he wasn’t able to convince you to stay in safety. Erwin Smith made it very clear that this mission is dangerous, that multiple survey corps member already died behind those walls. And even though you, Farlan and Isabel showed your skills countless times before, he can’t stop his train of thought. You, getting grabbed by a titan. You, getting ripped apart, your blood scattering onto the ground. He won’t have the chance to stay by your side during all times. One wrong movement, one thoughtless decision and you’d be gone.

“I don’t even have to ask in order to know what you’re thinking about right now, Levi.”

The second your hand brushes over his shoulder, he is too lost in the feeling of your bare hand against his shirt to worry any further.

“You don’t have to worry about Farlan, Isabel and me. After all, you’re the one who taught us everything we know.”

“Tsk. You were already doing fine when I met you.”

“But you were the one who showed me there is still hope, something worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died down there without ever seeing the sun once in my life”, you reply.

All of the sudden you place your hand on top of his and squeeze in gently. That look on your face, is it…Affection? He shakes his head firmly, doesn’t allow himself to get lost in that oh so sweet idea. A woman like you will never fall for a cold-hearted man like him, not when the whole squad fell head over heels for you the second they got to know you better. You are a true sweetheart, everyone’s favorite, a ray of sunshine. He, on the other hand, is none of that.

“Stop praising me or else I’ll puke and make a mess onto the freshly cleaned floor.”

No, he doesn’t deserve your kind word, doesn’t even deserve that spark in your eyes. You are better off without him, even as a friend.

“You’ll gonna clean it up anyway”, you bite back with a wide grin.

“Actually, there is something else I want to talk with you about, Levi.”

The sudden change in your voice paired with the warmth of your hand leaving his lets his gaze wander to yours again – only to catch you already staring.

“What is it?”, he questions instantly.

“If you have to decide between Isabel, Farlan and me…Just promise that you’ll safe them before even thinking about my ass. Please look after them and don’t worry about me.”

His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, reveal his surprise and…his resist. Not thinking about you, leaving you behind? The urge to shake you becomes almost unbearable when he grabs your arms passionately, gaze locking with yours.

“There is no way in hell I will ever leave you behind, dumbass. Don’t you dare to die on me, got it?”

“Promise”, you urge.

“Promise you’ll look out for them first.”

“(y/n)…”

He has to close his eyes in order to stop staring at your perfect lips. This might be the last time he ever sees you alive so unbothered by his side, the last time he witnesses the way the dim moonlight lights up your hair.

This…might be your last night alive.

“Please, I can’t live with the thought of being without them. They are still so young.”

“What about you, though? What if I don’t want to live a life without you? What if I die myself?”

You smile at him sadly, your hand caressing his cheek oh so gently.

“We all know you won’t die out there, Levi. It’s us who might not be here with you tomorrow. After all, that’s why you wanted to stop us from coming with you, right?”

He swallows hard. Every single one of you is a skilled fighter. Hell, you even survived the underground with countless enemies chasing after you. But this? This is something completely different. For the first time since getting to know all of you, Levi isn’t so sure about your abilities anymore.

“I promise”, he replies with low voice.

“Thank you”, you breathe out.

“Now, let’s get some sleep, shall we? We have a big fight ahead of us.”

Oh, there is no doubt in the fact that Levi won’t close his eyes this whole cursed night, pondering about a way to safe all of you. But even though you are very aware of that, you turn on your heel and smile at him one last time.

The brightest smile of them all, making your face gleam in nothing but affection.

“Oh, and Levi?”

“What is it, dumbass?”

“When I was talking about the sun earlier…That sun was you.”

And then you’re gone in the dark, leaving him with his heart almost beating out of his chest and feelings clustered all over the place.

Him, your sun?

-the battle-

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, the violent scream escaping your lips not reaching your ringing ears. Those powerful orbs…There is no doubt in the fact that this is her, that this is Isabel. Tears stream down your face uncontrollably, mix with the bitter coat of rain that sticks to your face uncomfortably.

Your friend is dead. And you were not able to protect her.

“You.”

The monster standing in front of you doesn’t look like the other titans you’ve seen before. Eyes red like crimson, lips curved into an evil grin. This thing is absolutely aware of the agony it causes you and enjoys every tear you cry.

You grab your blades even tighter, narrow eyes fixating its nape.

“I will make you suffer”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“I will make you regret that you even touched her!”

You dash forward only to get greeted by thin air. Fuck, this thing is so fast you didn’t even realize it was gone until your blade crashed into the muddy ground. Why do your hands suddenly start shaking, your knees felling weak? It’s just you and that thing. The other corps members around you? Scuttered onto the floor in bloody pieces.

Levi?

You escape its clutches by a hair’s breadth, the monster’s stinging smell of death and rotten flesh making your guts turn. You need to focus, need to control your fear and anger. Otherwise, you’ll die just like all the others did.

Levi…Is he dead as well? There is no one around, no one showed a single reaction to your multiple cries for help, your signs. Maybe you’re the only one who’s left. Which means that Farlan and Levi are gone.

Levi, gone? Fuck, you should have told him about your true feelings yesterday, you should have pressed your lips against his like you always dreamed about. This was the last opportunity to tell him how much you love him before both of you die.

And now it will be forever too late.

Just when you’re about to dash forward, the arm of the titan yanks towards you with breath-taking speed. Your eyes widen in sheer horror as all you can do is stare in sheer disbelief.

Is this how you will die? Through the hand of an abnormal titan, eating you alive?

You always dreamed of a life on the surface with Levi by your side. Maybe a small cottage on the edge of a busy city close to a river. Having a little farm with a few animals here and there, Levi working for a local business while you stay home and care for your home. For a brief moment, you allow your eyes to rest, to get lost in the life you will never have.

If only you had told him sooner. Maybe then it would have been different. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel your bones crack against the sheer force of the titan’s flat palm, throwing you into the air like a ball.

As soon as your body hits the ground, everything goes black.

-5 years later-

He opens his eyes against the way too harsh sunlight. Another night he hasn’t slept more than 2 hours. Day 1869 of missing you.

“Good morning, Captain Levi!”

He doesn’t even care to reply, feet carrying him down the hallway monotone. His days have always been the same since the day he lost Isabel, Farlan and you: Getting haunted in his sleep, waking up alone, surviving another day in this living hell. It’s almost ironic, how he already hated the world when you were in it. Little did he know how much worse it would get when you’re gone.

There is no day since back then that doesn’t revolve around you. You, with your hair down in the sun. You, beating up some tuff guys and showing them their place. You, that fucking cursed night before you had to leave.

Until this day, he hates himself for not being there. By the time he arrived, everyone was dead, brutally murdered by an abnormal titan. And even after searching for your corpse for hours in the pouring rain, he didn’t even manage to find a single limb left of you. This should be a good sign. After all, it might mean that you somehow managed to survive.

“The chances of (y/n) surviving and managing to flee on her own are 1 against 500.000”, Erwin said back then.

Maybe it would have actually felt better, knowing that you’re dead. Maybe this would spare him from getting haunted by your giggling and fucking gorgeous face each and every night.

But…If getting haunted by your presence is all he has left, he shouldn’t complain about it.

“We are heading out today. It is said that there are countless abnormal titans roaming around a city nearby”, Erwin explains briefly.

“How the fuck did these things even manage to get in there?”, Levi grumbles in response while taking a sip of his way too hot tea.

“That’s not what I care about. What I’m more interested in is the fact that a group of villagers managed to trap one of them.”

Levi can’t help but put his cup of tea down while Hange bursts out in sheer excitement next to him. A group of villagers, trapping an abnormal titan?

“Former corps members?”, he questions.

“Apparently not. Maybe they are interested in a new job”, Erwin replies, getting up from his seat and straightening his uniform.

“We are leaving right now.”

“Right now? Over some brats who were lucky to not get eaten by that titan?”

“You can’t deny that these ‘brats’ have to be skilled in order to trap an abnormal titan, Levi. Also, I heard the head of them is a woman.”

Levi huffs to himself. Skilled, huh? Lucky is definitely the better fit.

You sink your blade straight into the eye of the disgusting creature lying in front of you, watch in sheer satisfaction how it squeals underneath.

“Hope you enjoy that as much as I do”, you mumble, twisting and turning your sword painfully slow.

“(y/n), d-don’t you think that’s enough? What if it escapes?”, the man next to you cries out, holding safe distance between himself and the abnormal.

“So what? Listen, you little shit. If you even try to escape, I will kill you without even blinking, got it?”

You rip your blade out. In, out, in, out until everything around you is covered in crimson.

Just like back then.

You stumble back when a wave of nausea hits you. The sight of Isabel’s lifeless head, her limbs scattered across the muddy floor. Back then, you weren’t able to save her, weren’t even able to save yourself. If it wasn’t for your crew, you’d be dead by now. Just like her…

“Hey.”

“How about you take a break for a sec? You’re drifting off again.”

Her gently voice pulls you out of your nightmare just like her tender touch. Petra has been the greatest support since that fateful day. In fact, the only reason you are still alive is her. When she found you, you were already on the brink of death. Only due to her passionate and long-term care, you learned how to walk again, learned how to fight again.

“Sorry”, you mumble, allowing yourself to rest for a moment against her strong shoulder.

“(y/n), I’m sorry to interrupt you like this but…We spotted members of the survey corps?”

“The survey corps?”, you repeat in sheer disbelief.

Rage starts flooding your veins in an instant, forcing you to pick up your blade again. If there’s one thing you will never forgive the survey corps for, it’s the fact that they left you standing in the rain. The countless people who died with the wings of faith embroidered onto their jackets, eaten alive by a titan while your desperate cries for help remained unanswered until this day. For Erwin Smith, you were nothing but canon fodder, nothing but a bait. And you will forever hate him over the fact that he is partly responsible for the death of Isabel, Farlan and Levi.

You storm in the direction your scout sighted them, jumping from tree to tree in order to catch them by surprise. You will definitely not tolerate survey corps members around your area, especially when you just caught an abnormal titan to study and torture.

“There they are.”

Their disgusting green cloaks fill you with thick anger, almost force you onto the ground to knock every single one of them out. But you know all too well this isn’t the way to go. No, you will wait here until the right time comes to throw yourself at their captain.

There are five of them, walking towards the direction of your village. Just wait a few more seconds until the one who walks ahead is underneath you, one second and you…

You lunge yourself at the person with full speed, forcing them to the ground. Him, to be exact. That firm chest exposes all too urgently that you just attacked a man.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, brat?”, he barks at you, rough hands grabbing your wrists so tightly that your bones threaten to shatter.

You aren’t able to defend yourself, though.

That voice, the way he called you brat.

Is it really possible that…

You allow your eyes to look up at him and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

“Levi.”

You breathe his name out like a prayer, as if your dream might become reality. These grey and unbothered eyes look just like you remember his, the dark hair framing his face oh so perfectly.

“Levi, is that you?”

He can’t comprehend his feelings. Just a second ago, he was under attack of a stranger. But your eyes aren’t foreign. They hold the spark he dreams of each and every night, the memory he cares about so deeply. Is it really possible, that…

“(y/n).”

Everyone was so sure that you died on the battlefield, that the titan must have eaten you alive without leaving any remains. But maybe there was nothing to remain. Maybe you actually did manage to survive. Is it possible? Is this really you?

“I thought you died.”

Your voice is nothing but a fade away whisper, tears streaming down your usual so composed face like rivers when your memories begin to crash down on you like a house of cards. All those years, you were convinced Levi lost his life on this battlefield as well, that you were the only one remaining. But now you’re sitting on top of him, taking in his clean scent while he glares at you the way he used to.

“Everyone tried to convince me that that fucking abnormal ate you back then, that there is no chance you survived. Now look at you, dumbass”, he breathes out, very own eyes now coated in a thin layer of glimmering tears.

There is no time to waste. With a swift motion, you lunge yourself at him again, wrap your arms around his strong torso as if your life depends on it while resting your head against his chest and crying your heart out.

Words will always fail to express how much you missed him, that you thought about him each and every night since the day he was taken away from you so roughly. But now, you will never let him go again. Now you won’t waste another opportunity to tell him how you really feel.

“I love you, Levi. I loved you since our days in the underground city, I loved you through all these horrible years of grief. I love you. I love you”, you finally blurt out.

“I love you too, (y/n). I always did.”

Gently, he rests his hand against your nape while lifting your chin up with the other.

The second your lips meet, your world feels complete for the first time. All the pain, the grief, the things you had to endure. The countless nights of imagining him right by your side, the thought of never seeing him again. And now he’s here, right in your arms while kissing you so passionately that you fail to breathe.

“I love you”, he repeats so softly that your heart melts away like butter.

“I love you…”

“I finally found my sun again”, you smile against his lips.

You snuggle yourself onto him even tighter, your grip around his torso firm. Oh, you will definitely never let this man go again. Not after it took both of you so many years to meet again, not when he’s all you ever wanted.

Levi Ackerman, the love of your life.

“Who’s that woman throwing herself at you from a tree and then getting a smooch from you?”

“Shut up, shitty four-eyes”, Levi barks at the person standing behind him.

Tags:

@hellkaiserinphoenix @chilichopsticks @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain (hope you noticed I actually named reader's bestie after you babe) @polarbvnny @kentocalls @kayleegomez

First divider by wonderful @cafekitsune - check out the banner I used here!

Second one as usual from the best @saradika-graphics - I worship the ground you walk on honey

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mrsdarkandyandere7 · 9 months

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Dark! Tangerine » Scenario #1: Jealousy

Pairing: Dark Tangerine x (female) Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

SUMMARY: Jealous Tangerine thoughts.

WARNING: Toxic/Abusive Relationship; Manipulation.

AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.

Also this gif is perfect for this scenario, isn't it?

If you think that Tangerine isn’t a jealous man, then you’re living in a fantasy world.

He is fueled by jealousy.

Your boyfriend feels - nope, he knows - that more than half of the male population in the world is after you and that’s why he must keep you away from those pricks.

Tangerine will openly forbid you from going out on your own, no matter how much you argue or beg. He’s inflexible when it comes to it and you also might as well forget about your job. He needs to know that you’re safely tucked in the comfort of his house, far away from any danger (aka any male specimen).

Otherwise Tangerine won’t be able to concentrate on anything else, practically bursting a brain vein from overthinking. His mind making up the worst scenarios of creepy men flirting with you, trying to swoon you or even worse, to hurt you. Lemon does try his best to reason with his brother, but it’s a failed attempt as Tangerine is quite the stubborn man.

If you try to escape the house to go somewhere, he’ll be so quick to find out where you are as your phone location is always available for him (you don’t know about this).

Chances are that you’ll be enjoying yourself at a coffee shop with some friends, assuming that your boyfriend is busy with a job outside the country meaning you won’t have to worry about rushing back home when suddenly a very angry Tangerine shows up, with ripped off clothes with blood stains all over and very little patience as he asks whether you want to come home willingly or should he drag you back. Your choice, of course.

You barely speak to him on your way home, bursting in tears of annoyance and shame the moment you get inside his car. Lemon tries his best to serve as a mediator and to calm you down but Tangerine’s rage is too big to be controlled as he shouts at you of how irresponsible you were.

He’s not shy explaining and detailing all the possible scenarios that could happen to you. You do know that he has dangerous enemies, right? Enemies that won’t bat an eye before cutting you into tiny pieces to get revenge at him. Enemies that wouldn’t hesitate as they would fuck you like animals over and over till they left you broken.

Did you know that? Yeah, he didn’t think so either. Basically it’s a huge guilt-tripping session until you feel like - maybe - it’s actually your fault. Maybe Tangerine is right. He’s your boyfriend after all, right?

He only wants what’s best for you. Those are the words he repeats that night as he apologizes for yelling at you as he kisses your head, pulling you into a bear hug.

He’d lose his mind if he ever lost you and that’s something you need to take into consideration. So promise him that you’ll be a good girl from now on and he might just let you out into the garden.

“I care about you, ya know that, right? I’m so fuckin’ sorry I yelled at you, sweetheart, but you seriously’ scared the shit out of me. I swear that if anything happened to you…I’d just fuckin’ kill myself. You’re my life and that’s all I care about.”

#@mrsdarkandyandere7 #yandere x reader #bullet train #dark tangerine #dark!tangerine #dark!tangerine x reader #yandere tangerine #yandere tangerine x reader #yandere!tangerine #tangerine x reader #dark!fic #dark fic #tw: toxic relationships #dark tangerine x reader

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manheimsmuse · 6 months

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it was a very simple concept, a universally agreed upon rule even if it was an unspoken one. you don’t date the people in your friend group. it could only end horribly, even more so when your ex and ‘best friend’ end up together after your breakup.

it wasn’t a case of jess being interested in your boyfriend and ultimately stealing him, you and bobby were broken up for months before she told you bobby had asked her out. of course you told her it was fine, she was your friend and you didn’t want to be the one to kick up a fuss and tell her she couldn’t see him.

and that’s how you found yourself alone at a house party, leaning back against a counter as a beer bottle hung from your fingers as you unintentionally glared at the pair in the living room.

“would it be a dick move to say you’re making me feel better about myself?”

ryan baker, jess’s ex boyfriend, asked with a chuckle as he leant on the counter beside you.

“yes. it would be”

“okay, then i won’t tell you you’re making me feel better about myself”

your glare is redirected, now focused on the boy beside you as opposed to the reunited couple across the floor. you knew of ryan, but you didn’t know him. the only thing you did know about him for definite was the two of you were in the same boat.

“my bad,” he grins, raising his hands in fake surrender as you hold your glare “struck a nerve.”

“there isn’t a nerve there to strike,” you reply bluntly, not intending to be so hostile “she’s welcome to him.”

“tell that to your face.” ryan chuckles again, bringing his own bottle to his mouth as he took a drink “you look like you’re ready to tear them apart.”

“what kind of friend does that? i mean, seriously!” you begin ranting, finally having someone without current ties to either party “on what planet is that okay to do to your best friend?”

okay, so maybe you were a little pissed at jess, but how couldn’t you be!?

“wait, didn’t you and bobby get together after he broke up with jess?”

“a year after they broke up, not three months! besides, she moved on.” you huffed with a vague gesture his direction “who’s side are you on!?”

“i’m on my side” ryan nodded with a quirk of his eyebrow “i was an innocent bystander before all this, you know”

“weren’t you trying to fuck jess while she had a boyfriend?”

“that’s a rumour..”

“i was there!”

you can’t help but laugh at ryan’s avoidance, slowly beginning to forget all about jess and bobby a couple feet away. ryan laughs too, though he clearly isn’t as upset about the situation as you are, if anything he’s grateful because now he had and excuse to approach you, even if his opening line was about your ex.

there’s a silence between the two of you, well, as silent as it can be at a party. neither of you want the conversation to end, but you also don’t want to continue talking about your not-quite-ultimate-betrayal.

“do you wanna get out of here?”

ryan asks suddenly, making your brain freeze as it tried to process his offer. of course you want to leave, and leaving with ryan would be a bonus as you wouldn’t have to leave alone, or worse, with bobby and jess.

“that isn’t me trying to get in your pants, by the way.”

he adds when you take a little too long to answer, worried he came on too strong considering you were barely acquaintances.

“you couldn’t get into my pants even if you were trying.”

you joke, knowing in the back of your mind that you wouldn’t be entirely against the idea. but you didn’t need to contribute to ryan’s ego.

“yeah, okay y/n, we’ll see about that.”

#manheimsmuse #milo manheim #milo manheim x reader #ryan baker x reader #ryan baker #thanksgiving #thanksgiving movie

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

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“You know I love you, right?”

Keith smiles. He doesn’t stop his hands from their constant brushes through his boyfriend’s hair, doesn’t shift or move. Lance stays where he is, too, full weight on Keith’s body, head pillowed on his chest, moving slightly with every breath.

“Yes,” Keith says. “I know.”

“Good.” Keith feels the rumble of Lance’s voice in his ribcage, the puffs of his breath on his bare skin. “‘Cause I tease you, a lot, so I wasn’t sure if you knew.”

“I do. I know.” He pauses as he runs his fingers over the shell of Lance’s ear, tracing the scar on his skull, before gently tapping his finger three times. For a while Lance simply breathes, sinking into Keith’s touch, then he shifts slightly, turning brown eyes up to meet Keith’s.

“How do you know, though? Like if you had to define it.”

Keith leans down slightly to press a kiss to his freckled nose, just to watch it wrinkle. It makes him grin. “I just do, Lance. You say my name like you love me.”

The answer doesn’t seem to placate Lance completely, but enough that he sighs, putting his head back down on Keith’s chest and reaching over blindly to pull their blankets up to his chin.

“Okay.”

Keith says nothing for a long while, humming to himself, enjoying the feeling of Lance’s soft skin under his hands, the weight of his body pressing him into the mattress. It’s a relief after a long day, a balm to his exhausted muscles and tired brain.

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

Keith tugs a strand of Lance’s hair in admonishment, not enough to hurt, but he grumbles anyway.

“Try again.”

“Maybe I don’t love the man who hurts me so,” Lance pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and rubbing his scalp like it actually hurts.

Keith rolls his eyes. Lance grins, then sighs.

“Just — someone said something, at training. Kind of huffed and said something about how annoying it was that we still don’t like each other.”

Keith snorts. “Well, you did shoot me.”

“I was justified! You were being irritating!” Lance shifts, moving to his belly so he can look at Keith properly, glaring. “And I put my bayard on stun! It barely hurt!”

Love of his life or not, Keith loves getting this man so riled up.

“Yeah, the giant bruise I have says otherwise.”

There is no giant bruise.

But messing with Lance is funny.

“You are not fucking bruised!”

Before Lance can get too enraged and start stripping him down to make sure, Keith laughs, giving up the game and grabbing Lance’s wrists. He pulls him forward so he loses his balance, arms around Keith’s neck, barely managing to catch himself before their heads smack together, face inches from Keith’s.

“You worry too much,” Keith whispers, nosing his way down Lance’s cheeks, peppering kisses as he goes. “I don’t give a shit what anyone else says. The whole point of keeping them in the dark is so that I can have you —” he bites Lance’s earlobe gently, pulling it slightly, making the Cuban’s breath hitch — “all to myself.”

“Still,” Lance tries to insist, but Keith can physically feel his resolve falling away, feel him melting into Keith’s touch. “It bothers me that people think I can do anything but love you. You’re — I dunno. You’re everything to me. You make me feel like I can keep going.”

Keith can’t help his smile, and he knows Lance feels it, pressed into the junction of his neck. He kisses slightly there, and Lance turns his head to give him access, slides his hands into Keith’s hair as he works a mark into dark skin.

“That’s gay,” Keith mumbles, as fondly as he can.

It takes a second for Lance to clock Keith’s words, too focused on the besotted sound of them, but he huffs when he does, shoving Keith away and glaring at him.

Keith bursts out laughing.

“You’re the worst,” Lance says, but soon he’s smiling, too. Keith leans in and kisses that smile, because he can and because he wants to.

“I know.”

“Jerk. I’m divorcing you.”

Keith hums, tugging him back down under the covers, wrapping him back into the position he was in earlier. “You won’t even let me marry you.”

“We are twenty years old,” Lance grumbles, but every time he says it he sounds less and less like he cares. “We’re not getting married at twenty years old.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Lance settles into the silence, breathing evening again, wandering hands going still.

“I love you too, by the way,” Keith murmurs, suddenly worried that Lance doesn’t know.

He feels Lance’s lips upturn, and smiles to match it.

He knows.

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lcvesjj · 10 months

Note

Hello sweet pie, I couldn't resist, after rereading your fics I now have to send you a request of mine. If you're not up for it just let me know, no harm done =) my obsession for Chicago MedFirePd is currently on we again awake and raging in my head, so I've got a Kelly Severide. As a freaking simp for protective Kelly it's an angsty fic with drama, hurt and hopefully a fluffy happy ending =)

Kelly has a new neighbor and is instantly taken aback when he sees her for the frist time. She's struggling with moving boxes in her new apartment and clearly is out of breath (she has a heart failure and usually isn't allowed to stress herself out too much, so moving in is taking a huge toll on her). As a charmer he is, hee helps her with moving all her belongings into her apartment, which happens to be exactly next to Kelly's. She's the total opposite of Kelly: shy, cute and graceful and gets easily flustered by Kelly's charming flirting. Over the time they very close friends. Often cook together or having movie nights at each other's apartments. She thinks he's out of her league so she never thought of making a move. He is hesitant to make a move, cause he thinks she's way too good for him. So both of them suppress their feelings for each other. Maybe she also knows his colleagues and he often brings her to Molly's when 51 is meeting. Imagine obe night out she overhears a conversation betwee Kelly and Matt. Matt asks him when he's going to make a move, but Kelly brushes him off, that she's only a friend or something like that.... Which hurts her deeply. When a guy at Molly's hits on her Kelly convinces her (out of his stupid brain) that she should date the stranger.... The date goes terribly wrong, not only Kelly regrets that he pushed you away, the stranger also seems to be a total idiot. Furthermore he drugged her drink and now she's struggling in the bathroom of the bar for consciousness, calling the only person she really trusts with her heart..... I need some serious protective Kelly who becomes a cute care taker and is deathly worried for his sweet neighbor girl.

Title : the cute next door neighbour - Kelly Severide x fem!reader

Warnings : reader gets drugged, angst, a little bit of heartbreak, throwing up, this one is a little dark.

A/n : Thank you for this request! I really love this idea!!! (I did switch it up a little but I hope you won’t mind) And I don’t really know how to write about heart failure, so I’m really sorry if I portrayed it wrong or if this has false or wrong information. Please correct me if I got something wrong. And if you have any more requests or ideas please send them in!!! Sorry if the format is a little weird 😭

After a really long shift all Kelly wanted was to take a warm shower and sleep. He was really surprised when he saw the moving truck driving off from his apartment complex, he had no idea someone was moving in.

Walking into the apartment complex, he quickly ran up the stairs to his apartment. Kelly was exhausted so it took him twice as long to run up the stairs.

Seeing a cute girl next to his door with a bunch of boxes surrounding her, Kelly stopped in his tracks out of surprise. You looked so nice and it made him stop to just admire you. You were trying to lift one of the heavy boxes but you weren’t able to pick them up. You also looked out of breath.

Quickly snapping out of his daydreams, he walked up and said “Do you need any help with that Ma’am?” “Oh yes please, that would be great. If it’s not a bother of course!” You replied, smiling at him softly. “It’s not a problem at all, my name's Kelly by the way. I think we are neighbours.” He smiled, easily lifting up one of the boxes that were lying in front of the door to your new apartment.

“I’m Y/n, usually I’m able to do this on my own but due to my heart failure, I can’t really stress myself or pick up heavy things according to my doctor. And this whole move thing has been a lot.” You laughed a bit awkwardly. “Well I’m glad I can help you out even a little Y/n. And I know moving can be a lot so don’t stress yourself too much.” Kelly flashed a charming smile at you.

After Kelly helped you carry in all of the boxes to your apartment, you thanked him and offered to make him something to drink, since it was really hot outside. Severide of course accepted your offer, even if he was exhausted after shift he still wanted to know more about you. The two of you had a lot in common, so you got along perfectly.

Before you knew it Kelly and you had exchanged numbers, just in case you ever needed help with something. Even though you were next door neighbours it still was a really sweet move. Which made you feel so appreciated and cared for, despite knowing him for such a short time it still made your day so much brighter. His flirting skills made you blush and all flustered. He was really charming and sweet.

After all the nerves and stress related to the move you finally felt like you could take a breath of fresh air.

And that is how it all started.

Soon you started cooking together or having movie marathons whenever you had the time.

Once you even brought chocolate chip cookies to the firehouse, after getting a text from Kelly that they were having an awful shift. That is when you met all of his coworkers who thanked you for the amazing cookies and a few even asked for the recipe.

That’s when Matt noticed the way you look at Kelly. You were definitely in love with him and Severide literally had hearts in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Matt had heard a lot about you from Kelly and he was so excited to finally meet you. Ever since the two of you met, Matt became even more amazed at how oblivious Kelly was.

A while later you got invited to Molly’s by Hermann, saying it would be amazing for you to get to know everyone better. You of course agreed since you heard a lot about Molly’s from Kelly and you finally wanted to see the bar and meet more of his coworkers and friends.

As soon as you entered Molly’s, you looked around in amazement. It looked even better than you had imagined.

Walking up to the bar you ordered a soda since you couldn’t drink alcohol due to your heart failure. Glancing around the bar you saw Matt and Kelly talking at a table and you slowly got up and walked over to say hi.

You overheard Matt say “I mean Kelly you have to ask her out, she’s amazing, sweet and kind and I just think you two would make a great couple. And besides if I were you I wouldn’t want to lose a girl like her. I’d ask her out before someone else does it for you.” And Kelly replied with “Y/n’s just a friend and I don’t see her as anything more.” Just as you approached their table, you tried to turn around and walk back to the bar, but Kelly’s hand wrapped around your wrist and softly pulled you back to him. “Oh hey Y/n, I was hoping you would come.” Severide smiled at you. “I just wanted to say hi, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” You laughed a bit awkwardly still thinking about what you had just overheard. “Of course not, c’mon take a seat and sit down.” Matt replied, pulling out the seat that was in between him and Kelly.

You just sat in between them playing with the soda can, not really saying much to them. Kelly’s words were still going through your head.

Did he really only view you as a friend after all of that flirting and stuff?

Was he just leading you on?

Was this whole thing just your imagination?

Gabby approached the three of you, putting another soda can in front of you. “But I didn’t order- Before you could finish she interrupted you saying “It’s from the gentleman at the bar, who said he wanted to order a drink for the beautiful girl sitting at the table.” She smiled at you. “Oh and he also asked me to give you this.” Gabby handed you a folded napkin with a phone number on it. You blushed and asked if she could say thank you to the guy.

Looking down at the napkin you pulled out your phone and typed in the number and sent a short message saying “thank you for the drink!” Putting your phone down, you smiled, since this was the first time you got a napkin with someone’s phone number and a free drink all in one.

After sitting with Matt and Kelly for a bit you decided to go up to the stranger and thank him for the drink once again. You felt a little guilty for ignoring how Kelly looked sad seeing you walk away. But just like he said, the two of you were just friends. Nothing more.

Talking to the stranger who ordered you a drink you found out that his name was Tom. Soon the two of you were laughing and talking like you had known each other for years. You were laughing so hard you had tears running down your cheeks.

A while later Tom asked you on a date and you agreed. Normally you probably wouldn’t say yes to a date with a stranger, but he seemed nice and you just wanted to finally get over Kelly if nothing was ever going to happen between the two of you. “It was for the better.” You thought to yourself.

A few days later was finally the day Tom and you agreed to go on a date together. You both agreed to go to some new bar downtown, since they had recently opened and Tom had heard good things about that place.

The date was a little boring, not much happened and Tom kept on talking about himself and his achievements. Hearing your phone buzz you excused yourself and pulled it out to check who it was from.

Little did you know that something bad was about to happen.

When you returned you took a small sip of your drink and Tom smiled widely, starting to talk about himself again. Looking down into the drink you messed with the straw in your glass. As kind as Tom was, he was a little annoying since he would barely let you get a word in.

You just had a really bad gut feeling, this whole date was a mistake. Something was wrong, the drink tasted wrong and it all felt fuzzy and weird.

You suddenly wanted to go home. But not to your apartment. You just wanted Kelly.

Giving the excuse that you were about to throw up, you got up to leave to the bathroom and Tom stood up and tried to say something but you just ignored him and ran towards the bathrooms.

After you were done throwing up, you started crying. You were exhausted, everything hurt and you felt faint and sick. You just wanted Kelly.

Quickly pulling out your phone, you dialled his number and tried to explain what happened. But he could barely hear you since your breathing was so fast and you were crying really hard. You were able to tell him the address of the bar and that you were in the bathroom. You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Everything was spinning and blurry.

Before you knew it Kelly was running through the door towards where you were sitting on the floor. “Are you okay Y/n/n? How are you feeling?” He asked in concern, kneeling down next to you. “Like shit, I don’t know what happened. Wanna go home.” You mumbled. Kelly nodded and gently asked if you could stand and walk.

When you tried to stand your legs collapsed under you, so Kelly gently picked you up and walked out towards where his car was parked. You were so tired and scared you couldn’t hear what Kelly and Tom were saying. But Kelly seemed really mad. He was shouting something at Tom but you couldn’t make out what he was saying, all you wanted was to sleep.

And before you knew it you were on your way to Med with Kelly. During the drive you just gazed out of the window without saying anything. Kelly didn’t say anything either, he just looked over to you from time to time in concern. With Kelly’s help you unlocked the door and led you inside telling Maggie what happened.

The nurse directed you to an empty room and said that a doctor would be here to see you shortly. You were so tired you were starting to fall asleep. “It’s alright sweetheart, it’s okay. Just sleep. I’ve got you okay?” He said softly, bringing the hair out of your face.

“Kelly?” You asked, looking up to him with tired eyes. “Why’d you say that to Matt? Are we really just friends?” Severide's face fell upon hearing your question. “Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just- I don’t want to lose you alright? You are way too important to me and I just thought you didn’t feel the same. I’m sorry sweetheart.”

You just nodded in response. “I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do.” You said, while starting to cry. You were exhausted and the whole events of the last few days came crashing down on you.

Kelly pulled you into his arms and placed a small kiss on your forehead. “It’s gonna be alright sweetheart. I’m here, just let it all out. We’re gonna be alright. We just need to wait for a doctor and we will figure it all out then okay? I’m here.” He softly whispered, pulling you even closer and rocking you side to side.

You were safe with Kelly, and you knew it.

After the doctor checked up on you and said that they would like you to stay overnight just in case and to get everything out of your system. The doctor also said that a detective or officer would be here to check up on you and take a statement of what happened.

Before you could say anything more to Kelly, to thank him. You just fell asleep in his arms

#one chicago #chicago fire #chicago fire fanfic #chicago fire imagine #kelly severide #kelly severide x reader #kelly severide imagine #chicago fire x reader #one chicago imagine #one chicago x reader

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anonymous-rendezvous · 7 months

Text

Take A Break, Won’t You?

💙 Ike Eveland x GN!Reader

✦ — Written by Mod S 👿. Beta Read and Edited by Mod I ✨. ⏌

✧ — Contains: Established Relationship, NSFW 🔞, oral (male reciving), Dom!Ike, slightly bratty Reader, teasing, & hair pulling

✦ — Word count: 5k+ | Ao3

The novelist is in the middle of writing one of his greatest stories yet. Except, he’s been so engrossed in writing that he hasn’t paid much attention to you as of late. Luckily for you though, you know just how to push his buttons to gain his attention.

Part 2 of Under-The-Desk Shenanigans

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─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Ike is a very brilliant man. His mind can conjure up some of the most creative and enthralling ideas you’ve ever heard. Ranging between the most fantastical of fantasy to the more mundane and down-to-earth slices of life. Truly, he is one of the most hard-working people you know.

The only downside to such a person is that he gets completely enraptured by his work. Often forgetting to eat or sleep; and on rare occasions, even forgetting to bathe. Running merely on willpower and caffeinated drinks. Today was one such day, but instead of forgetting to eat or sleep, he’s kinda forgotten that you’re his partner. You know he doesn’t do it purposefully. But even with your godly amount of patience – you too have a limit.

Currently, you are making him a cup of tea. Waiting beside the cup as it steeps, enjoying the smell as you stand in your shared kitchen. ‘Maybe this’ll convince him to take a break,’ you think to yourself. Knowing Ike though, he’ll most likely promise to take one, but just keep on working. Sighing at the thought, you remove the tea bag from the cup and discard it. You pause for a moment before deciding to grab him a muffin as well. “Here’s hoping I can convince him with this.”

Walking down the hall, tea and muffin in hand, you can hear his working playlist before you even approach the office door. Setting the small plate containing the muffin over the top of the tea, you raise your free hand to knock lightly before opening the door an inch. Calling out in a soft voice to your boyfriend, “My love, I’ve brought you some tea and a little snack.”

Ike looks up, hazel eyes landing on you as he adjusts his glasses. He sits up straighter and gives you a soft smile as he locks eyes with you. “Oh, thank you, sweetie. I was just thinking about getting myself a drink.” The novelist makes a beckoning motion with his hand, urging you inside as he says, “Go ahead, come in.”

Following his motion, you step in and nudge the door shut behind you. “Making good progress?” you inquire as you approach his desk, setting down the plate.

He nods while gesturing to his work, showing you the latest page. “Actually, yes, I’ve been on a roll since this morning. Even made it to page one hundred and twenty-five, which is past the goal I had for today.”

Your entire demeanor perks up at his words, excitedly asking, “Does this mean you’re done for the day?”

He freezes for a moment before looking at you sheepishly. “Uhhh, well…” He looks to the side, fidgeting with the chain on his glasses. “I was gonna keep going, honestly. My brain is still moving a million miles a minute, and I feel really motivated.”

You pout at him, visibly disappointed by the news as your shoulders sag. He’s been working like this ever since he woke up; you’re worried he’ll overexert himself. Hell, he’s already showing some signs of it. His eyes look tired from staring at the screen and his posture has gotten worse since you’ve last been in here. You refuse to leave him like this. He watches you in confusion as you turn to grab a chair from the other side of the room.

“Darling, what are you doing?” Ike turns in his chair, following your movements as you drag your chair next to his.

“I’m staying here with you to make sure you at least drink all that tea and eat the muffin. You’ve been working all day. So if I can’t convince you to take a break, I’m staying here. Lord knows when you’ll be done.” When you sit in your chair and look back into his eyes, you can see how apologetic he is. He truly feels bad for making you worry over him, and he wishes he could fight this habit, but it’s just so ingrained in him.

With a sigh, he nods and scoots back into his desk. “Okay. I have no problem with you staying either way, but I appreciate your worry for me. I wouldn’t wanna make you any more upset than you are with me, too.”

You cross your arms over your chest, and with an exaggerated pout, you turn your head. “That’s right, you owe me big time.” His melodic laugh fills the room as you peek back at him, watching as Ike picks up his tea to take a sip.

“Of course, darling, you’ll have me all to yourself after I’m done.” His tone is much softer and you can hear the apology laced in those words. Uncrossing your arms, you get comfortable in your chair, pulling your phone out to busy yourself while he continues his novel. Letting a few moments pass, he slowly gets completely re-engrossed in his work. All the while, you decided it was time to switch tactics. After all, your presence and tea offering failed to convince him to take a break.

Time for Plan B; a more physical distraction.

Moving a bit closer, your chair's armrest bumps into his. You let out a small ‘sorry’, causing him to peek at you instead of your hands. He gives you a quick nod and returns to typing, while you wait another moment before slowly pulling up the armrests of both your chairs, granting you new access to his body. He lets out a startled noise as he feels your head suddenly rest on his shoulder, hazel eyes looking down at you. You return his gaze with an innocent expression, honey-coated words dripping from your lips. “Sorry darling, just resting my head on your shoulder. Didn’t mean to startle you, you're just so… warm.”

Ike blushes a bit at your words, physically pausing for a moment. For a second, he could have sworn he heard something else in your tone. Yet when you just stay there on his shoulder, his suspicions tamp down as quickly as they came. Clearing his throat, he returns his gaze to the screen, adjusting his glasses in embarrassment. “W–well, it’s no problem. Stay there as long as you like.” He wasted no time in returning to his work, but this time, thoroughly flustered.

‘Good, all according to plan.’ you think, fighting down a smirk. You make yourself comfortable, nuzzling and cuddling into Ike’s side. The novelist, on the other hand, was completely still aside from his hands diligently working. Yet what was happening within his thoughts was another story.

He was in a state of frenzy, his thoughts spiraling out of control. It wasn't until this moment that he genuinely grasped how much he had missed having you next to him. He feels even worse as he realizes how much time– the sheer amount of weeks this has gone on for and realizes that this is probably how you’ve felt within that time. He swore then he’d only finish a few more pages so he could then properly give you attention. Except Ike is jolted from his thoughts when he suddenly feels one of your hands on his chest, the heat of your skin sinking into the fabric. One of your fingers lightly traced the buttons on his shirt. He tries to pay no mind to it at first – that is until your hand starts trailing lower and lower. “Sweetie,” he keeps his tone even, looking down at you, “what are you doing?”

You look back at him with the same innocent eyes as before, but he swears he sees a hint of mischievousness in them. “Don’t mind me; just preoccupying myself until you're done. Am I being distracting?” Your last question has a slightly smokey tone to it, and you can’t help but giggle as you watch Ike’s cheeks get brighter as he grows more flustered.

“U–uh not at all…” He pauses as he averts his eyes back to his computer. Taking a breath before speaking again, “I’ll only be doing a couple more pages, so this won’t take too long.”

You let out a drawn-out ‘Mhmmm’ as you circle the lower buttons on his shirt. With how you were currently positioned, you could hear the way he swallowed hard. He’s almost there, you can feel it. Just a bit more teasing – a few more sweet words – and then you’ll have his full attention.

The realization was slowly dawning on the novelist. There was no way this couldn’t have been a formulated plan. All the honeyed words, the soft touches– a plan to distract him. And if he was honest with himself, at any other time, he likely would’ve given in already. If only he wasn't in the middle of writing an integral part of his story. He hopes by telling you that he’s almost done, that you won’t take the teasing any further. That’s what he hopes at least. Ike, however, knows you. He’s spent more than enough time with you to pick out your tells, just as you’ve learned to pick up on his. He just prays you’re not in a particularly devilish mood today.

Settling back in, a good half hour passes with you just resting against him – occasionally messing with his buttons from time to time. You didn’t wanna rush your plan. That wouldn’t be fun. And honestly, you want him to welcome the distraction. A frustrated Ike Eveland was attractive, but you didn’t want to frustrate him to the point of actually being upset. Peeking back up at him, you note that he’s no longer tense from your earlier actions. Hazel eyes glazed with focus and his lips pursed in concentration. It’s honestly adorable and if you weren’t feeling so touch-starved you wouldn’t have minded staying like this. Alas, you wanted some harmless payback.

Wetting your lips, you slowly take in the skin on his neck before lightly kissing it as you nuzzle your face into him. Immediately his attention is returned to you, head tipped down to look at you, lips parted as your action had surprised him. However, you just giggle and continue to pepper his neck with soft kisses. Ike makes a noise and you can feel the vibrations of it with the way your lips are pressed against his neck. Sliding your gaze up, you find his face is a mix of flustered and pouty, his eyebrows furrowed to match his emotions.

His eyes search yours as he speaks, a slight franticness to his voice, “Hun, please, I promise I’m almost done. No teasing, okay?”

You wet your lips again in response, catching the way his eyes flicker down for a second before he returns his gaze to yours. “Teasing? Me? I’m just giving you some kisses. It’s been so long–” you draw the word out, intentionally pouting your lips so they continue to brush against his neck– “since I’ve gotten one from you.”

Ike furrows his eyebrows, a slight pout forming on his soft lips. “And I will give you all the kisses you want when I’m done.” His tone is firm but gentle as he makes his point. One of his hands accentuated his words as he spoke. Sighing, he turns his attention back to his computer. “No more teasing, sweetie.” With that, he gets back to typing, determined to not be distracted anymore; keeping his focus on the novel.

Yet the second his eyes return to the screen, a smirk curls against your lips. ‘Perfect, he’s getting frustrated. Time for the finale.’ As you nuzzle into his neck once more, you continue to pepper light kisses on his neck. Letting your lips linger on a few, the hand on his chest moves to unbutton his top shirt button. Your eyes stay locked on his expression, watching him the entire time as he tries to refrain from letting you distract him further. Yet by the pink of his ears, you can tell your touch is working.

Keeping an excruciatingly slow pace, you unbutton another button. Fingers playing with the fabric on his shirt, the skin of your hand just lightly grazing his bare chest. Ike closes his eyes tightly for a second, attempting to calm his breathing. He can’t let you win. He's stubborn. But he knows that you are, too. In the process of him trying to control his breathing, it suddenly catches in his throat – feeling your tongue lick at his neck, causing his body to tense and shiver.

“Hmm?” You chuckle as you bring your hand up, using a finger to turn his head towards you. “What’s wrong? Something bothering you?” You bring yourself closer, noses barely touching, as you say in a hushed voice, “I thought you were gonna continue working?” As you observe, his eye twitches and his face becomes increasingly red from frustration and embarrassment. You slide your hand into the newfound opening you had made in his shirt, sliding it down to undo a few more buttons, your eyes following the path of your hand. Before you can fully get down to his stomach, you feel a firm hand wrap around your wrist. Looking back up at your boyfriend through your lashes; continuing to act innocent even if he doesn’t buy it anymore.

The novelist lets out a deep breath as he continues to watch you. The look in his hazel eyes is intense. He’s figured out the game you're playing and as much as he doesn’t want to let you win, he’s just as touch-starved as you. His frustration mixes with his bottled-up affection. He just wants you; wants to touch and tease you back. Ike pulls you closer by your captured wrist, wanting to kiss you.

Except he’s left you wanting for so long; you can’t just give him what he wants so easily. Tilting your head away slightly, his lips press against your cheek instead. When he pulls away, he’s met with your half-lidded expression. “Uh-uh, come on Ikey. Did you think I’d give you what you want after you’ve deprived me of what I’ve wanted for days?” With a breathy tone, you lean closer to his ear, “I know you’re frustrated, but whose fault is that?” With how close you are, you can hear the sound of his teeth clenching in vexation as your warm breath brushes against his ear.

He lets out a huff, and you chuckle as you pull away. Feeling quite pleased with yourself as you’ve successfully gotten him frustrated and aroused. Removing your wrist out of his hold, you grab his as you stand from your chair, pushing it aside as it’s completed its purpose. With a little shove, Ike’s desk chair easily rolls back as you make space to scoot in between him and his desk. Using your knees to knock his legs further apart to make room for yourself. Lifting a knee to place on the open space on his chair, right in between his thighs, you use your free hand to brace yourself on the back of the chair as you hover over him. “You can keep working, babe. But I think I should help with your growing problem down there.” You both simultaneously look at the ever-growing bulge in Ike’s pants and then back at each other. Ike’s gaze seemed to grow more intense behind his frames – but also a splash of excitement. “Plus, it’ll give me what I want, win-win.” You say with a smile.

Ike gives no resistance to what you’re implying, keeping still in your grasp. Only his piercing hazel eyes tell you everything you need to know. There’s a pause before he finally speaks, his tone deeper – almost exasperated – as he talks. “Fine. I’ll let you do what you want. But–" he gives you a sharp look "I am going to get you back for this. Expect a punishment following this; I won’t be going easy on you.” He feels your hands tremble a bit at the thought. However, you stay firm as you move closer to his face.

Lips grazing his as you speak, “Likewise.” You lean forward and finally connect your lips properly. Ike nearly catches you off guard with how quickly he pushes his tongue in your mouth. You're not complaining though, you want it just as much as he does. He leans his head forward, tongue swirling with yours as he tries to gain the upper hand on you; his glasses bumping against your face lightly. Opening your eyes, you pull back from his lips, his head jerking forward a bit from the sudden action. Your laugh is breathy. “Aww, so pent-up.” He pants as he looks up at you through his eyelashes, eyes conveying annoyance and unhidden lust. "Don’t worry, I’ll help you with that, but we’re gonna do it my way.”

The novelist raises an eyebrow at you, curious about what you have in store for him. Your hands separate from his wrist and he has to hold himself back from pulling you against him – knowing you’d stop if he was too rash. He feels your hand on his chest and he follows it as it trails down, continuing your earlier actions of unbuttoning his shirt as you make your way lower. Ike jolts a bit when you make it to the hem of his pants. The lust clouding his mind enhances his senses, causing your touch to feel like jolts of electricity throughout his body. He looks back up when he hears that infuriatingly teasing, yet alluring tone from you.

“Since you’re so adamant about working, I’ll let you do it. But, I’m going to take what I want from you…” trailing off with a breathy chuckle, you lean closer, lips nearly brushing his ear, “and what I want is your cock in my mouth.” Your voice is a low whisper, and you smirk as you feel him shiver from the vulgarity of your words.

Pulling back, you remove your knee from his chair, kneeling in front of him as you pull him closer by the armrest. He watches as you undo his belt and pants, hands, then gently pulling his half-hard cock out of his boxers. Licking your lips, you slowly start to pump him in your hand, looking up to watch his face scrunch in pleasure. “Mmm, already so close to being hard, that desperate for my lips, aren’t you?”

He scowls at you, composing himself before scooting in closer – startling you a bit. Ike reaches up to adjust his glasses, giving you a small smirk of his own, making it feel as though your stomach was doing flips. “How about you stop talking and get to work? You’re the one who seems eager for it, darling.” Ike wasn’t gonna let you humiliate him completely. He might be sexually frustrated right now, but he could still make you a mess. A precursor to the punishment he’s going to give you later. And quite frankly, you were looking forward to it.

With a huff, you get to work immediately. Building up the saliva in your mouth before spitting in your hand, pumping him with a firmer grip than before. Ike hisses in pleasure, yet is quick to straighten himself out as he consciously returns his attention to his work, continuing to type away at his novel. He lets out a few sighs, his breathing heavy as he works, biting at his lip to keep himself somewhat composed. ‘How the hell am I gonna concentrate with their hand on me like that–ugh, I won’t be able to hold back for very long.’

His little noises only pushed you to continue, enjoying being able to finally touch him, and soon, taste him. Your hand works meticulously and with practice ease, as you feel him grow harder, the wetness of your saliva helping your hand glide across him. When he is fully hard, you pull your hand away, using your other hand to push any hair out of your face before giving his cock a long lick from the base to the tip. Giving it a little kiss and giggling when you hear yet another sharp inhale of breath. Returning your hand to hold him as you lean forward to lick up and down his cock repeatedly, your hand massaging his tip; urging his pre-cum to leak out.

His cock throbs in your hand, feeling the wetness of the pre-cum cover your thumb as you rubbed the underside of his tip. Collecting it, you use it to lube his cock more, stroking it a few more times before you lean your head forward. Your lips give the tip of his cock another kiss before taking him into your mouth, letting your tongue swipe across it slowly.

Ike lets out a low grunt, his thighs twitching from the pleasurable strokes of your tongue. He risks taking a peek down at you; watching as you engulf half of him, feeling it slide down your throat. ‘Fuck, that feels good…’ Biting his lip, Ike’s fist clench on his desk, his breath shaky and voice getting caught in his throat from holding back his noises. His eyes follow your movements, watching you bob your head up and down, feeling your hands move to rest on his legs. The moans and sighs you were making against him weren’t helping, as he felt himself start to throb more into your mouth.

He's surprised when you suddenly lock eyes with him, a whine almost slipping past his lips when you suddenly pull off his cock. Smirking up at him with an intentional licking of your lips – his eyes tracking the movement. “What’s the matter? I thought you were working on your novel, babe?”

Ike lets out a guttural noise before looking back at his screen. His eyes quickly scan the contents before looking back down at you, seeming to contemplate his next move. The novelist weighs between two invisible options before letting out a deep breath, settling his intense lust-clouded hazel eyes on you. “To hell with it…” He sees your eyes widen as he scoots his chair away from the desk, your hands landing on the floor as they fall from his legs. “I can’t take it anymore–just, come on. Please, finish me off. Your mouth feels… exquisite.” His voice was demanding and breathy, and he watched as your expression grew just a bit more flustered; his lips twitching upward briefly in a smirk.

Swallowing hard, you collect yourself before looking up at him with half-lidded excitement. You leaned your body forward, crawling towards him as you held his burning gaze. When you get back in between his legs, your eyes glance down at his cock before looking back to him. “Don’t hold back, baby. I want all that cum in my mouth.” And with that, your mouth took him in again, bobbing your head with just as much vigor as before.

The office is filled with the sounds of both your moans; yours muffled and his quiet with a mix of lustful sighs. Ike watches intently as you suck him off, the wet sounds only driving him closer to the edge. He wanted more–no; he needed more. All he wanted right now was to cum in your mouth. To watch you swallow it slowly, tasting and milking all of him. He watched on, one of his hands tangled in his hair, pushing his bangs back to make sure he could take in the sight of you when an idea struck him. The novelist's free hand trailed its way down to rest on the top of your head, causing you to look up at him from your ministrations.

“Darling,” the pet name dripped from his lips like honey, “how about you take a bit more?” You were about to nod when you felt his hand slip to the back of your head. It took you a moment to register, but he was a bit quicker than your thoughts. “Here, let me help you…” Ike twists his fingers into a good portion of your hair before pulling at it to make you take more of his cock in your mouth. You let out a long moan as your eyelids flutter. This type of desperation from your boyfriend is rare; yet whenever it does happen, it never fails to make you feel heat flaring throughout your body. Your lips and tongue move faster against him, happily taking every inch as his moaning picks up in frequency. His glasses have started to fog around the edges thanks to the heat radiating off his breath. It took every last shred of will not to close his eyes from the immense pleasure.

You could feel his hips starting to softly buck into your mouth, and every time he’d pull your hair it would only spur you on to take more of him – causing you to deep throat his length. His moans were getting more unashamed as you made sure your mouth left no inch of him untouched; getting louder as he chased his orgasm. You feel saliva start to form more and drip down his cock, trying to keep up with his hips; tongue swirling around to give him more friction.

Ike’s heartbeat was heavy in his ears and he felt his whole body tense. He has to swallow hard to keep his voice from giving out as he moans. “Come on darling, so close. I’m almost there…” He reaches the other hand in his hair down to your head, both hands now firmly on your head. The sweat that had begun to form on his forehead, drips down the side of his face; a side effect of your current activity, filling the room with tangible heat.

You feel Ike pull your hair back, making you look him in the eyes; moaning in response to how hot he looked. Keeping eye contact with him, you feel him twitch even more in your mouth. Reaching down to rub in-between your legs to give yourself some relief, wanting to cum along with him; needing the sought-after friction since this began. His eyes widen a bit as he watches your hand frantically rub against yourself, then fully slipping beneath the hem of your clothes, causing him to bite his lip as he pushes your head into him deeper.

“Oh fuck, baby, I’m cumming! I’m– Ah! Come on… be good–hah–swallow it all..” Ike's eyes instinctively close as he cums, cock throbbing and feeling bliss as it all pours down your throat. His back arches in his chair from the pleasure before collapsing back down, sweat-coated chest heaving with his labored breaths.

It’s to the feeling of his warm cum filling your mouth that draws you to orgasm as well, body trembling as you try to keep your mouth closed around him to swallow; your own hand slowing to draw out the pleasure. Your eyes roll back as you drink him in slowly, free hand reaching up to softly massage his balls, wanting every last drop; Ike lets out a cute gasp as you do.

The novelist watches you with breathless wonder, feeling as though he could go again with how debauched you looked. So eager to drink down every drop of him. He swallows hard as you release him from your mouth only to start licking him clean, letting out a soft sigh when you finally pull your mouth away from his softening cock - but not without leaving one last kiss on it as you do. He leans his head back as he tries to steady his breathing, untangling his hands from your hair to wipe away the sweat from his face.

You chuckle as you watch him, slipping your hand out of your pants. As your eyes wander up his body to look up at his face, you wet your swollen lips, speaking up to tease him. “I’m glad I finally got your attention away from your book.” Your voice is somewhat raspy after the act you’d just done. “Maybe I should do this more often when you're overworking yourself, hmm?” You laugh as his head lifts to look at you, a pouty expression on his flushed face.

“You better not…” Hazel eyes squint at you.

“Hehe, well maybe you should learn to take proper breaks then, Ikey.” You stick your tongue out at him playfully and he huffs, defeated.

He shakes his head, a fond look in his eyes. “Fine, but only because you’re not asking. You’re honestly demanding me more than anything, sweetie…” You giggle and carefully stand up, legs a bit wobbly from sitting on them for so long. Ike notices this and scoots forward, grabbing your wrist gently to steady you. “Careful there, darling.”

Nodding in appreciation, you steady your stance, looking down to make sure you're not wobbling anymore. Meeting his eyes, you smile sweetly. “We should go get cleaned up. I’m insisting that we take a shower together, then I’ll leave you alone again so you can finish those last few pages.”

He lets go of you and nods in agreement, tucking himself back in his pants as he does. “Well, how could I refuse, dear? I’ll also give you cuddles and attention, like I said earlier after I’m done. You deserve it after my negligence.” Ike stands up and gives you one of his beautiful soft smiles, making your gaze soften.

“Well, I just hope you learned your lesson. Come on now, I’m sure you don’t like being sweaty either.” You walk happily towards the door, hearing your boyfriend’s footsteps follow behind you.

Just as you're about to leave the room, you feel his hand softly rest on your shoulder, before feeling his soft breath on your ear; his voice has an almost sinister tone as he whispers, “And since I’m recalling things,” a shiver racks through your body, “don’t think I forgot about your… punishment, that I mentioned earlier.” Your eyes widen as you tense and you’re about to look at him. However, he just continues moving past you, making his way to your shared bathroom.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Mod S 👿: Here I am fighting the Bottom!Ike agenda. Not that it’s shown too much here, but I really tried to mimic his kinda ‘assertive’ nature here (idk how to explain it). I was very heavily going off of how he acts in the Voice-packs and some character mannerisms he’s done on stream too. Anyway, first time writing Ike with smut, I hope I did okay!

───

Likes are nice and we do appreciate them. However, comments/feedback is what really motivates us to continue writing. Even just a keyboard smash or emojis are a joy to see!

We do not allow our stories to be translated or reposted/shared anywhere. The only places our stories should be found are on Ao3 or Tumblr. Nowhere else.

#ike eveland x reader #luxiem x reader #nijisanji x reader #ike eveland #nijisanji ike #luxiem #nijisanji luxiem #nijisanji en #nijisanji #x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #written by Mod S 👿

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citylighten · 3 months

Text

Pietro takes in the imagery. Undeniably more awake, he pulls himself forward in the chair: traces his fingers across his phone’s screen to zoom in on the snapshot. “And the back?” He can’t help but ask. “Um, hold on!” Pietro had no moment to pine: in a matter of seconds, the second screenshot comes through. “It’s nice.” He utters below his breath. Rosaria would look wonderful in this, the very thought of seeing her in that made his dick twitch, attentive. “What were your third and fourth picks?”

🚫 18+ ONLY 🚫

BEGINNING // PREVIOUS // NEXT

In spite of her enthusiasm, Rosaria’s nerves were high. She was capable of discussing the first two articles with ease: she picked them out and frankly, she was relatively satisfied with her choices. However, outfit three and four? Sofia convinced her to put them in her digital cart. Part of Rosaria felt they were good looking, the other half of her was skeptical. The idea of Pietro seeing them makes her flush and shy away. “Well!” She begins, large brown eyes rolling around her room. “let’s say the other things can be a surprise! Because I don’t know how I really feel about them and I might just send them back…?”

“I’m sure you won’t do that,” Somehow Pietro spoke reassuringly and confidently even when he sounded to be on the verge of exhaustion. “You’re going to love it when it arrives.”

Despite this, Rosaria remains firm in her indecision, “maybe!”

There’s a moment of silence. Rosaria, forgetting if she could just ask for Pietro’s card number and call it a night, wondered over what to say next. Even if she did ask for his card details, she didn’t want to get off the phone with him. Thankfully, Pietro speaks first before she can rack her brain: “I wish you were here.”

“I mean, I wanted to be.” Rosaria muses. She hears him clear his throat, “I know, I know. But this…wasn’t the sort of meeting I would feel comfortable having you in. Not yet." A pause, "but, while I was at the bar, I kept thinking to myself…the first thing I was going to do when I got to my room was call you.”

That did not sound thoughtful or melancholic. It didn’t even sound innocent. No, Rosaria had come to know that tone well. The familiar way Pietro’s voice dropped let her to know what wanted: sex.

Had this been the 90s, Rosaria would have been fingering the spiraling cord of her telephone. Instead, she keeps clutching onto her phone as she moves it back to her ear, “Oh…” That's sweet? She was hoping to hear his voice too? Once again, she doesn't get to think of a response as Pietro speaks again. “I want you here so badly.”

Rosaria dwells on how she’s never engaged in phone sex. She thinks Ben tried it once, but she’s not sure if he was playing around or not. Either way, Pietro Impellizzeri is not a man who plays around. Rosaria questions her ‘skill’ for this. Rosaria worries about saying something stupid. She even worries about whether the pitch of her voice could be considered sultry. However, rather than killing Pietro’s lustful thoughts, there is a curiosity to see where this goes.

“Well, if you had just let me come on this trip…” she begins. And what would she do? Make him comfortable after his three meetings? Make him feel good? Rosaria blushes, not yet ready to spring into the sexual side of this conversation. She has to say something worthwhile! “I wouldn’t have gotten in your way.”

“And what would you have been doing in the meantime?” Detail, phone sex was all about detail. Rosaria felt the need to list a few mundane events: renting a hotel room, catching up with old friends, that could have sufficed and eventually lead to something sexy.

“I would’ve given you my card to do whatever you wanted,” Pietro remarked and as easy as that, Rosaria feels as though she’s given an opening for her imagination.

“Then, I’d go shopping!” She exclaims, “Actually! First, I would’ve gotten us the hotel while you did your business, and I would have done my own thing. I’d find…” her brow creases as she needs to think of the stores in San Myshuno. Actually, she’s having a difficult time remembering anything other than a few outlet stores and some bodegas.

She is not aware that there’s an alluring element to her lingering pause. To Pietro, what is actually genuine contemplation to her behaves as a playful tease meant to bring suspense.

“…a Victoria’s Secret store. So, I could buy some lingerie there and we wouldn’t have t’wait a week for all of this we ordered to come in…I’d find something…red.”

Pietro almost smiles. If it's one thing Rosaria does, it’s hang onto his words. He visualizes her attire in his mind - a lace, red teddy. Crotchless. She waited for him in the hotel room, wet.

He thought that every now and then, as the waiting was just too long, her hand would slip between her thighs. Pietro still does not unzip his pants, instead he sighs, palming his constricted dick. It makes Pietro feel pitiful to admit to himself that this is the most relieved he’s felt all day. “Would you keep this a surprise from me?” He mumbles.

He thinks of Rosaria sending him an image of herself as he was outside of Windshield Vipers. Like a fool, he would have opened her message in the lobby of Liam and Nico’s business. It would have given him a challenge to not think about as he engaged in a serious discussion with Liam. Would he have seen Victor had Rosaria given him a preview of what awaited him in the night? It was likely. When responsibility called, it called. But he would not have made it to the bar to speak with John. “Of course I would!” Rosaria kills his fantasy like that, but he doesn’t mind. “You never thought of trying it on and sending me a picture?” He asks, remarkably focused.

“Of course, I want you to focus on work! It’s something you’d come back to at the hotel!”

A chuckle escaped his lips. So, she would have always ensured responsibility was first and foremost important.

“You would have made my night…” he says, drifting back to his fantasies. “The red bra…it looks beautiful on you, Rosa.”

“Are you gonna…” she hesitates, shy as the conversation undoubtedly travels into explicit territory, “…take it off me?”

“No.” He answers, “I want to enjoy this. The silk…your soft skin. Are you touching yourself?”

“No…”

Rosaria blushes at his command: “I want you to run your fingers across your pussy, pretend they’re mine.” Not only did she appreciate Pietro taking the reins, but there was something incredibly erotic about being commanded over the phone when he was miles away. Laying back, she lifts her legs and pulls her panties to her ankles. Shit! She suddenly remembers how Sofia is downstairs!

“Um - I forgot to say my roommate is here…”

“Then you’ll have to be quiet, won’t you?”

Rosaria hums in approval, a bit too enthusiastically.

“Now don’t touch yourself,” Pietro says, “Just run those pretty little fingers over yourself…are you doing that right now?”

Her breath hitches, “yes…”

“Good girl…” Pietro is close to unzipping his pants, but he holds back. “Now, cup your breasts. Tease your nipple through the fabric, cara. I’ve heard so much today - all I want to hear now is the soft little soft sounds you make…” Rosaria quietly rebels against Pietro, slipping her fingers inside her warmth in the pursuit of friction. She moans, and hopes Pietro assumes it’s just from nipple play.

“How do I make you feel?”

“You make me feel-” like she needs her vibrator thrusting inside of her, “you make me feel good. I want you in me.”

“That’s what you want now?” “Uh-huh, I don’t -” like excessive foreplay, not that it wasn’t bad, but when she wanted penetration, she wanted it. “-I don’t want to be empty.” So aroused, Rosaria doesn’t internally coil back from the phrase. It was honest. It was needy. “Then gently ease a finger into yourself. Don’t get carried away. You know I have to get you just right for me…use just one finger on yourself, over your clit. Keep circling it. Remove your finger and lick your fingertip…” Those instructions? Rosaria nearly followed to a T.

Pietro can’t abide by his own self-control any longer. He unzips his pants and drops them to his ankles. Phone placed on the table beside him, Pietro strokes himself lightly. He wanted to see her sighing at his touch, full of need. He wanted to watch her shudder as he rubbed his cock against her pussy, her eyes wide with anticipation as she wondered when he would finally enter and give her what she wanted. He thought of her positioned on his knee, grinding as he refused to touch her. He was touching himself now, Rosaria could tell from the low groans. “…while I was in the bar, I was thinking about fucking my pussy. And I know you were thinking of me in this room while you waited for me to return…you had two fingers in, you had your hips lifted pretending I was taking you. You hoped I wouldn’t unlock the door and come in…you know I don’t like it when you rush your orgasm…I know that's why my fingers slipped inside you so easily when I came into the room.” He can predict her a little too well, even in a fantasy. Rosaria has no time to be upset at being so predictable, instead she releases a soft whine as she pleasures herself, “I’m sorry. I needed it-”

“You needed to be fucked in this mattress by me?” Rosaria loved when he spoke like that. Unrefined, blunt. In return, she gives a thrilled: “yes!”

“Say Lo voglio.” He grunts.

“L-lo voglio!” “I’m not undressing you. I’m pulling those tits out and pulling your little panty aside to fuck you. Do you like that?” “Si?” she answers breathlessly, “lo voglio!” Feeling her orgasm climb closer, Rosaria quickens the speed of her digits. She wishes she could drop this stupid phone, grab her vibrator and give herself a rough climax. In the midst of her pleasure, she no longer calls Pietro by his alias. His real name slips out numerous times as she lifts her hips.

“Don’t be so loud,” he growls, “you don’t want your roommate to hear.”

Dammit, Rosaria remembered he was right! What was she suppose to do? Bite her lip and draw blood? Smother her face with a pillow? "I-" she gasps, sweat rolling down her neck. "Don't think I-"

"Be respectful, Rosa."

His rough demand led to her white, blinding bliss. She rode out the sensation from beginning to end, audibly. Although this was the very opposite of what Pietro told her, he can’t help but feel his own satisfaction in knowing he had that sort of effect on her. It brought him to his own completion.

“I’m sorry-” she pants, “I’m sorry.”

“Do you think your roommate heard?” Pietro softly asks, his head hanging low. Once again, his energy dropped. He thinks of dragging himself to the shower, but it feels as heavy and tedious as speaking with Victor Russo.

“I don’t…” Rosaria gasps for air, “I don’t know.”

“Now I know we can’t do this in public, you’ll have us in jail.”

Rosaria can’t believe Pietro joked with her. She laughs in response, although she supposes she should feel guilt and shame for treating Sofia and her cat to these sounds.

“So…” Rosaria begins, “do you still wanna give me your card…?”

“Hold on,” Pietro says, “and Rosa, before I forget, I want you to check off the option for these to come as soon as possible.”

“To live out your phone fantasy?”

She smiles at the sound of his light laughter, “of course.” @cartelheir @wannabecatwriter @dresdendarlin @crsentfairy @santanasimsx @thewalkingplumbob @weirdosalike @nightlifeseries @ellemant @99simproblems @sharpiegirl @lushnightjelly @reverieinsimlish @javitrulovesims @eslanes @waitingforspoons @miss-may-i @rainymoodlet @quesims @keesimziaa @lynzishell @nilonne @percosim @havenroyals @digital-deluxe @swiftviolets @stevihj @sheplayswithlifee @joannebernice @ardeney-sims

#sink or swim #sims spice #ts4 storytelling #ts4 story #sink or swim: chapter 5

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kirbyprompts · 2 years

Text

𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 ( 𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐔𝐆𝐎 ) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

feel free to change the prompts as you see fit! warnings: mentions of death and murder and violence.

❝it’s almost midnight.❞

❝i’m not going to bet on my own death.❞

❝you’re a thief.❞

❝i know it comes easy, but try not to play dumb with me.❞

❝i’m fairly sure you’re threatening me. but i want to be more certain before i decide to what to do about it.❞

❝i can’t wait to wipe that look off your face.❞

❝things aren’t going quite as planned, are they?❞

❝do you really think that secret would die with me?❞

❝shame holds more value than coin ever can.❞

❝always one step ahead, aren’t you?❞

❝i’m a creature of habit.❞

❝when everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.❞

❝men mock the gods until they need them.❞

❝get away from me.❞

❝i need a mug of the darkest, bitterest coffee i can find. or maybe a real punch to the jaw.❞

❝you look exhausted. will you sleep at all tonight?❞

❝if i want to watch men dig holes to fall into, i’ll find myself a cemetery.❞

❝you’re smart, but you need to learn patience.❞

❝are you going to explain any of this?❞

❝brick by brick, i will destroy you.❞

❝fate has plans for us all.❞

❝the brain is just another organ.❞

❝if you’d wanted to help me, you know you could have.❞

❝when have i ever done something for nothing?❞

❝i may die, but i’ll die on my feet with a knife in my hand.❞

❝i can take it.❞

❝you could have come to me on your hands and knees, and my answer would be the same.❞

❝you can keep your money. choke on it.❞

❝don’t i have a say in this? i’m sitting right here.❞

❝i’m not useless.❞

❝you wouldn’t know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth.❞

❝the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch.❞

❝it’s hard to keep track of all your wisdom.❞

❝i worry about everything. that’s why i’m still alive.❞

❝there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.❞

❝the heart is an arrow. it demands aim to land true.❞

❝i’m not sure i have a heart to give any more.❞

❝you at least owe me your best imitation of a human being.❞

❝i can tell you how this one ends, but you’re not going to like it.❞

❝did we win?❞

❝i don’t want to die.❞

❝you came back for me.❞

❝i protect my investments.❞

❝say you’re sorry.❞

❝you’re making me nervous.❞

❝i’m just doing my job. stop glaring at me.❞

❝my ghost won’t associate with your ghost.❞

❝don’t try to move, just rest.❞

❝i’m fine. you’re the one who got stabbed.❞

❝it’s just so much easier to kill people than take care of them.❞

❝don’t make me laugh. that feels awful.❞

❝how long was i out?❞

❝there was enough blood to paint a barn red.❞

❝i’m not a criminal.❞

❝if you aren’t born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances.❞

❝why do you think you know everything about me?❞

❝i want to show you something.❞

❝i’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.❞

❝i’ve never heard you admit you’re not good at something.❞

❝i don’t want this.❞

❝unclench your jaw. you’re going to grind your teeth down into nothing.❞

❝shut your eyes.❞

❝you don’t smell like roses any more.❞

❝it’s not normal for someone to be as stupid as they are tall, and yet there you stand.❞

❝i can’t believe your face is going to be the last thing i see before i die.❞

❝i hate the way you talk.❞

❝do you think i care what you like or don’t like?❞

❝there’s always more to lose.❞

❝what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?❞

❝i have been made to protect you. only in death will i be kept from this oath.❞

❝are you afraid of me?❞

❝all right, what do you do for fun?❞

❝what are you so afraid will happen? afraid you might start to like me?❞

❝let me go.❞

❝i will always be a threat to you.❞

❝we’re under attack.❞

❝you did everything but tell the truth.❞

❝what was that?❞

❝just keep talking.❞

❝doesn’t matter how big the gun is if you don’t know where to point it.❞

❝we’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.❞

❝what good is a lockpick without his picks?❞

❝you aren’t going to kill me, and i’m not going to pretend everything is okay.❞

❝stop being dense. you’re cuter when you’re smart.❞

❝have you ever been in a fight?❞

❝i don’t want to kill people, not really.❞

❝you’re obviously dangerous. i’d prefer you never became dangerous to me.❞

❝better terrible truths than kind lies.❞

❝your death belongs to me.❞

❝i want a job.❞

❝i practice the art of ‘pull his shirt over his head and punch till you see blood.'❞

❝a good magician isn’t much different from a proper thief.❞

❝why didn’t you tell me?❞

❝thank goodness we’re proper thieves.❞

❝if you survive and i don’t, make sure i have an open casket. the world deserves a few more moments with this face.❞

❝if we don’t survive this night, i will die unafraid. can you say the same?❞

❝you don’t have to do this, you know.❞

❝i’ve done worse.❞

❝i’m not sure why i began this, but i know why i have to finish. i know why fate brought me here, why it placed me in the path of this prize.❞

❝you’re very graceful in battle, just not while you’re plummeting.❞

❝you presume a great deal.❞

❝i learned the same way you learn about anything. take it apart.❞

❝who am i now?❞

❝you stink of decency.❞

❝we have a party to go to.❞

❝i’m afraid for you.❞

❝i need a dose of imminent peril to get my head straight.❞

❝you can help by shutting up and staying out of the way.❞

❝i don’t like that sound. what’s wrong?❞

❝i don’t love killing people.❞

❝i don’t have any business criticizing you.❞

❝you gave me the tools for vengeance when i needed them the most.❞

❝if we make it out of here alive, i’m going to kiss you unconscious.❞

❝have you come to kill me?❞

❝you shouldn’t make friends with crows.❞

❝you’ve cheated death too many times.❞

❝you won’t shoot me. you need information.❞

❝i. should. let. you. die.❞

❝don’t touch me.❞

❝you almost drowned. you should have drowned.❞

❝this would be a really good time to say you saw this coming.❞

❝i didn’t see this coming.❞

❝they won’t take me alive.❞

❝we’re all someone’s monster.❞

❝you look radiant.❞

❝it seems you prayed to the right god.❞

❝you know you can’t stop them all.❞

❝what will you do when there’s no more blood to shed or vengeance to take?❞

❝was there never another dream?❞

❝what do you want, then?❞

❝stay. stay here. stay with me.❞

❝i want you to stay. i want you to… i want you.❞

❝i don’t want you to see me like this.❞

❝we all carry our sins. i need you to live so i can atone for mine.❞

❝i want to feel safe again. i want to go home.❞

❝i’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, but i’m not that good a liar.❞

❝maybe i liked your stupid face.❞

❝i’m going to invent a new trick.❞

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #rp sentence starters #roleplay memes #sentence starters

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horangboosadan · 6 months

Text

ROCK WITH YOU [8/10]

episode eight: so let me listen to all your emotions

pairing: idol!lee chan x gender neutral!actor!reader

genre: established relationship, fluff, angst, best friend!jun, actor au, smau, on screen lovers off screen besties, intentional lowercase

synopsis: after the release of your most recent drama, the world decides that you and your co-star/best friend would be the perfect couple. the influx of positive reactions are great for your career, his career, and the drama. however, it tears at you to lie to your fans and appear dishonest towards your boyfriend. being a k-pop idol, revealing your relationship can come with unforeseen consequences. how do you tackle the onslaught of people who want the inside scoop of you and your co-star, and your boyfriend in denial about his jealousy without compromising either relationship?

wc: 2.1k

masterlist

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the sound of the code being punched and the melody that sings when it's correct jolts you out of your half-sleep state. the creak of the door opening and the click of it closing has you shake your head. the soft footsteps making their way in your direction has your brain hurt as your mind filters through a million thoughts that have so far kept you from sleeping since you came home.

maybe it’s for the better―you get a chance for your circadian rhythm to adapt back to where it’s supposed to be.

“i brought food,” says chan as he enters the living room. he smiles; a huge grin that seems to lighten every load on your shoulders and clear your mind of whatever fears were coursing through it. the grin stays all the way over to the couch, only disappearing as he leans down to press a kiss to your lips. “i missed you.”

“i missed you, too.” you return his smile. “and i love you for bringing food because i haven’t really eaten anything all day.”

he sets the bag of food on the coffee table and seats himself next to you on the couch. “thought so. i wasn’t sure you’d even be awake.”

“somehow, i was too exhausted to even sleep,” you say. you’re half joking, but you’re aware of the slight nervousness in your voice. chan usually picks up on it, but you’re not sure if he’ll chalk it up to exhaustion or realize that there is something on your mind keeping you from resting.

“then we eat and go to sleep. we both need it.” he kisses you, and starts to take the food out of the bag.

your heart hammers in its cage. there’s a nagging feeling at the back of your mind telling you there isn’t anything to worry about, that you’ve been seeing things in his messages because you want to, because you know you won’t stand up for your own discomfort when it comes to the whole leaning into a romantic interest in jun. however, the moment chan says anything, you’ll do something. maybe seungkwan and vernon were wrong.

yet, there’s that pit in your stomach that keeps telling you that chan isn’t his normal self. his unusual long time in answering texts, his lack of trying to find time to actually talk after your first week away, his short answers, and his sudden lack of emojis whenever he said ‘i love you’ or ‘i miss you’. a part of you wants to tell yourself your just reading into it, that your exhaustion is taking over, but your gut says differently.

you’ve always trusted your gut.

“tell me about your trip,” says chan as he hands you a pair of chopsticks, already broken apart and ready to use.

you shake your head. “hmm, it was nice. a lot of bad weather, but that was the reason we shot there in the first place, apparently. the cast is nice, the crew was nice, and everything went very smoothly, but mostly i couldn’t enjoy myself due to a lack of sleep and breaks. i had a few on set, but my role is big enough that i didn’t have as much time to sit down as i wanted to.” you stop talking by starting to eat, figuring it can be a good excuse to not say anything else.

chan doesn’t say anything, but he’s looking intently at you. his gaze makes you feel loved, but it also feels piercing, as if he can see right through you. see your worries. see your exhaustion. “eat up, okay? you look like you need a good nights sleep.”

“thanks for the compliment," you say and huff jokingly.

“i didn’t mean it like that!” he says quickly. he takes your free hand with his and uses his thumb to caress the back of your hand. “you always look good, okay?”

you pout and look down. you both know it’s an act, but you like doing it. you like having him dote on you, which is exactly what he proceeds to do as he cups your face with both hands and lifts your head so you look at him. “you’re the most gorgeous, beautifulest, prettiest, handsomest, whatever adjective you want, person in the world.” with each adjective, he presses a kiss to your lips, and he continues after until you stop pouting and your lips draw into a smile.

“and even more so when you smile,” he adds and kisses you again.

it helps. it helps you regain energy, and it helps some of those worries slip away. whatever this jealousy thing is―if vernon is correct―you know that you’re not going to lose chan because of it.

all the tension in your veins seeps out. the thought of how much chan loves you, of how much you love him, fills them with warmth instead. a soft, cuddly warmth that doubles when chan puts an arm around you and drags you into his side.

you eat like that for a while, snuggled up together. chan feeds you bites of food, and you’re pretty sure you’re gonna fall asleep. however, as the food runs out, your worries haven’t disappeared enough for you to let go of them.

“i’ll clean up, okay? just get ready for bed and i’ll see you in there.” chan lets go of you. the warmth of his arm disappears and he gets up to start gathering the trash.

he doesn’t get far before you grab his hand and pull him back down onto the couch. “not yet,” you say.

chan laughs and pulls you in for a hug. “you missed me that much?”

you lightly punch at him, not letting go of the hug as you nod. maybe you are holding him back for another reason, but you did really miss him that much. so much you don’t want to let go of him, so much that you couldn’t be happier with the knowledge that you have all of tomorrow to spend together.

“yeah, i did,” you say as you pull out of the hug, “but there is something else.”

chan cocks his head. “something’s wrong?”

you grimace and shrug. “i don’t know.” the words won’t come. you don’t want to startle him, to scare him, to have him withdraw because he doesn’t want to discuss it. what if seungkwan’s right and he feels stupid for his feelings and therefore won’t talk about them? but you’ve been together for two years already, you know how to be honest with each other.

“okay, so, i just need to know how you feel about this whole dating rumor between me and jun,” you say. “i know you said you’re fine, but i want you to be completely honest.”

“i’m fine.” chan smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “i mean it. it’s fine. i know that it’s not true, and whatever the world may think, i know the truth.”

you want to believe him. you want to just say, ‘okay, let’s go to bed’, but you know he’s not telling the truth. “you don’t have to be fine with it.” you swallow, trying to keep your voice level, clear, and without the shake to it you can hear so well. you’re an actor, you should be able to do this, but somehow, without a camera, you never manage to. “i mean it. you don’t have to be fine with it. i wouldn’t be. i would hate seeing you with someone else. i would hate it even more if everyone wanted you to be with someone else. babe, i get jealous of you flirting with carats on lives and fancalls.”

the silence is loud. chan avoids your gaze, looking instead at his hands as he fiddles with the strings of his hoodie. you take his hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing. “it’s okay.”

his voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks. “it’s stupid,” he says, and your heart breaks.

“it’s not stupid.” you use your other hand to lift his head up to look at you. “i am telling you, whatever you’re feeling, it is not stupid.”

“i don’t like it. i don’t like feeling this way, i don’t like seeing everyone talk about you, i don’t like all the comments about the two of you. they even asked on my live, about you and jun. i think i did well not to make it obvious, but i hated it. but it’s so stupid to feel this way when i know you and jun, and i know you’d never think of each other that way.” he sniffles. a tear runs down his cheek. you wipe it away. “seeing people talk about you as if you’re with someone else makes me feel like i don’t matter.”

you pull him close in a tight hug. he buries his head in the crook of your neck. “baby, i’m sorry,” you say. his arms tightens around you, holding you as close as possible. you don’t pull away, waiting for him to decide when he doesn’t need a hug anymore.

it lasts for what feels like forever and the blink of an eye at the same time. a mixture of feelings spread out through your body. you can’t tell what it is, can’t tell how you’re feeling as chan pulls out of your hug. somehow, you know what you want to do next;

make sure all these rumors and theories and whatever they are stop.

“i love you, you know that, right?” you ask. you lean your forehead against his.

“i know. i love you, too.” he kisses you. you kiss back, keeping him close before he pulls away.

it’s still a short kiss, but it has you remember all the things you love about him. the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he dances, the way he laughs. all the things that had you fall for him in the first place, the reason why it hurts you so much to see him hurting.

when you pull away, you only have one thought on your mind.

“do you wanna tell the world?”

it’s a big question. going public about your relationship could jeopardize your careers. it will have more consequences for his as an idol than yours as an actor, and it would put you both in the limelight for something other than what you want to be there for. you’ve worked hard to keep your relationship private, to keep your private life out of the public eye. but that one kiss and this whole conversation made you realize that you love chan enough to risk it.

chan pulls away. he takes your hand in his and intertwines your fingers. “i want everyone to know how much i love you,” he says. “but are you sure?”

you shrug. “i don’t know what might happen if we do, but you’re hurting so much because of all this talk about me and jun that i don’t know how else to battle it. there’s still so much of it that im not sure if it will blow over when the drama ends.” you take a deep breath and smile. “and i love you so much that i’m willing to risk whatever consequences may come.”

“really?” there’s something hopeful in his voice, something ready to agree. “you’re absolutely sure?”

“yes. i love you and i want the whole world to know.” you kiss him. “it’s not like we’d be announcing it right this second, and we can still think about it, but maybe that’s the next step.”

chan grins. “i love you, too.” he presses a kiss to the back of your hand, fingers still entwined. “does this mean i can openly flirt with you at all times?”

“i guess.” you laugh. “but the deal is you stop overusing that smirk emoji.”

“i love that emoji. it gets the point across.”

“well, i don’t need it to know what you’re trying to say, though. i know exactly what’s on your mind.” you smile, a giddy feeling now coursing through your veins. “also, you have to stop saying sleep whenever you don’t actually mean to sleep.”

chan fakes a shocked look. “what? you want me to say sex every time? even in front of other people?”

you hit him lightly. “i don’t want you to talk about it in front of other people at all,” you say and start to get up from the couch. “c’mon. let’s clean up, go to bed, and maybe i’ll have enough energy to sleep tomorrow.”

chan pulls you back down by your hands still entwined. “we can always sleep now,” he says, and kisses the corner of your mouth.

there is no one in the entire world you love more then lee chan, and he continues to make you love him more every single day. even with the nervous tension that comes with revealing your relationship to the public, the prospect of your future together looks brighter than ever.

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boo talks

a written chapter for a change. they finally talked! i really like this chapter but my god is the change between doing texting and actually writing it out hard at times (i think i rewrote this like three times before i was happy with it, and im still not actually sure im happy with it...) anyways, im currently on christmas break from uni (finally done with exams and at least one went well and we'll see), which may mean more one shots and hopefully a christmas themed one? idk, but i hope...

#caratlibrary #caratsland #svt smau #dino smau #seventeen x reader #dino x reader #seventeen #svt #chan x reader #lee chan #dino

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crybabylulu · 1 month

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Lunch time

(Sugar momma Lin Beifong x sugar baby reader)

Summary: just being a good girl and bringing Lin her lunch

I was currently in the kitchen making lunch for Lin. I decided to make a tofu stir fry and I made sure to make it a little spicy. Once I was done I went to the bedroom to get ready. I did a bit of makeup, fixed up my hair and put on a short dress. After I got dressed up I packed up and made my way to her job. Thankfully it wasn’t a long walk. I made my way inside the station. “Hey.” Mako said as he came up to me. “Hey.” I said and gave him a hug. “Chief is in a meeting.” Mako said. “When will she be done?” I asked. “Not sure but you can go up to her office and wait.” Mako said. “Ok great.” I said.

“Also what did you pack for her?” Mako asked. “I packed your mom some tofu stir fry.” I said. “Stop calling chief my mom.” Mako said. I laughed as I walked up the stairs, I entered the office and placed the lunch box down. I sat down in Lin’s chair and just spun around in it. As I spun around I started to fantasize about Lin. I bit my lip thinking about riding her in her office. I rolled my eyes at the horny thoughts that came to my brain. I could just touch myself in her office chair. No, no no! I sighed.

Actually I’ll just hold that idea for later. I’m gonna have to find an outfit, maybe I can ask Asami for some help then make sure I bring my big bag to bring the strap with me. I’ll have her catch me touching myself in her office and then I’m sure she’ll spank me and then I get to ride her cock. My legs rubbed together. Ok maybe i can touch myself now. The door opened and I turned towards the door. “What are you doing?” Lin asked. “Hostile takeover.” I said. “Very cute.” Lin laughed and closed the door then walked over to me.

I got up and moved from her chair. Lin led me over to the couch and sat me on her lap. “I missed you.” I said. “I missed you too, baby girl.” Lin said and held me close to her. “Oh lunch! I almost forgot.” I said as I quickly got off her lap to grab the food. Once grabbed I sat back down and held out the bag to her. “Thank you.” Lin said as she took it. I nodded and watched her open the food. “I tried something new, tofu stir fry.” I said. “It looks good.” Lin said. “Hope it tastes good.” I said. I watched as she took a bite and then she scooped up more food and held it out to me.

I opened my mouth and let her feed me. “This is good, you did well.” Lin complimented. “Thank you baby, I’m glad you like it.” I said. “What did you eat today?” Lin asked. Oh I’m in trouble. “Huh.” I said. “I said," What did you eat?” Lin repeated herself. “Oh I just ate some noodles.” I lied. “You know better than to lie to me.” Lin said. I sighed. “How did you expect me to eat when I had to cook for you and get all pretty?” I asked. “You need to eat, it’s important. You feed yourself first and make sure you have water.” Lin said. “I had water, just no food and I need to make sure you eat because you don’t eat.” I told her.

“I eat.” Lin said. “No you don't, you run on coffee and green tea. That’s why we agreed I would cook for you.” I said. “You still need to eat, I worry about you.” Lin said. I stroked Lin’s cheek where her scar wasn’t. Last time I touched her scar she wasn’t happy. She pulled my hand away and got snappy at me. I didn’t mean any harm. “I worry about you. You need to take better care of yourself.” I told her. “I’m fine.” Lin said. “This city can’t be safe if you aren’t ok.” I said. “I know, baby.” Lin said and gently grabbed my hand then gave it a kiss.

“We should go on vacation.” I suggested. “Vacation?” Lin asked. “Yeah, why not?” I asked. “I’ll think about it.” Lin said. I shook my head. “Whatever you say baby.” I said. Lin fed me more of her lunch. I like it when we eat together like this. It’s very sweet. “What do you want for dinner?” I asked. “I won’t be home tonight.” Lin said. “Why?” I asked. “I have a lot of paperwork to do.” Lin told me. I guess I’m gonna have to bring her dinner tonight. I just nodded. I’ll probably just actually make noodles tonight I’m not sure. When Lin finished eating we decided to make out until her break was over.

I ran my fingers through her gray hair as we made out. It felt so good to be close to her like this. When her break was over Mako walked me home and I went to crash on the bed. I took a short nap. I'm lying. It was a long nap. I woke up around six pm I had to rush to take a shower. I washed off my makeup then my body. When I finished washing up I dried off then put on Lin’s robe. I went to the kitchen and started cooking. I made enough for her and I to eat together at the station. When I finished I packed up the food then I went to get dressed.

When I was done I grabbed all my things and then made my way to Lin. It was late at night and I know Lin is gonna be pissed off that I’m walking this late but I don’t care. She needs to eat! I made it to her job and went straight to Lin’s office. I knocked on the door and waited for her response. “Come in.” Lin said. I opened the door and saw Lin doing paperwork. “What do you want?” Lin asked. She hadn’t looked up from her work to notice me. Oh I can’t help myself, I'm about to say something dumb.

“I want to gag on your cock.” I said. “Have you lo,” Lin looked up and noticed me and I laughed. “What are you doing here?” Lin asked. “I bring dinner.” I said and showed off the bag. “I appreciate you but you shouldn’t,” “I don’t care. You need to eat.” I said and sat on the couch. Lin sighed then sat next to me. I gave her a bowl then I pulled out mine. “Now let us have dinner together.” I said. We ate and talked about her long day. “I won’t be home tomorrow night either.” Lin said. “Why?” I asked. “Criminals being criminals.” Lin said.

I pouted. “Don’t pout.” Lin told me. “But I want you to come home, I’ll be so lonely without you.” I said. “I know baby but I have work to do. I’ll try to be home soon. I won't be here long.” Lin told me. I just nodded. I don’t wanna lay in bed without her. It’s childish I know but I don’t care.

#lin Beifong #chief of police Lin Beifong #tlok #tlok Lin Beifong #mako tlok #sugar mama lin beifong #lin is fine asf #tlok lin #lin beifong x reader

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genderfluid-insomniac · 1 year

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“Little Seizures” Six Eared Macaque x reader x Sun Wukong & MK

Note: I don't know what to put as an intro but this is based on my experiences with epilepsy as I've had it for a year and a half. Seizures are fucking annoying and I don't see much epilepsy content in fanfiction so I did it myself. Enjoy!

P.S. This may not be accurate to your unique experiences because I based it off of general epileptics.

You had gone with MK to Flower Fruit Mountain for his training and you volunteered to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t mentally drain himself. Maybe there was another reason that you had but it totally wasn’t about your friend’s two mentors were in the process of courting you and how all the citizens of the mountain were adorable fluffy monkeys. Speaking of which a few of them were sitting on your back and picking through your hair for bugs to which they’d unfortunately for them find none of. But some others were sitting around you eating the fruit you’d given them. “Guys I hate to tell you but you won’t find anything but you’re more than happy to have a mango, peach, or banana.”

“Lotus, don’t you want to feed me a piece of fruit?” You must have jumped at least 3 feet in the air as some of your companions cried out at your reaction and the new demon by your side. Groaning you playfully hit his arm and rolled your eyes as Macaque laughed at your amusing reaction. Some monkeys chirped and moved over to him, climbing his black fur and settling in on his head for grooming. You looked at your friend who was still training with both his mentors and back at the shadow demon who was now smirking at you. “Shouldn’t you be fighting MK and Wukong without using a shadow clone?”

“Yeah but eating sweet fruit and spending time with you is much better.” Taking a bite of a banana and glancing at you with a raised brow, growing concerned at the lack of response from you and how you swayed. You guessed at least. All you could see or feel was the room growing darker and everything feeling like the ground beneath you was shaking (and not from the huge battle going on just a few yards away). Bits of conversation could be heard as all of your senses faded in and out, one dark fuzzy outline holding you surrounded by little white ones and two tanish ginger figures running over to you.

“What’s….to….?” Your body grew tired and all of a sudden you wanted to sleep, tiny hands poked your cheek in alarm and worriedly cried out to someone. “Name!……me-“ “They just…..passed out….. shaking-“ “Macaque…. keep….. still….. King get…..much water….” There wasn’t anything you could hear after that, only having the feeling of falling asleep like any other night. Your entire body felt like lead and gravity was ten times stronger, barely able to open your eyes and speak anything except for a single word. “Fuck.”

Hearing was one of your first senses to come back and touch wasn’t far behind, feeling a warm body supporting your back as you rested against them. “Ha. Glad to see you’re awake! You have all of us a scare!” Sun Wukong was the person holding you. Not that you could see him but his voice was enough of a hint. “The kid was worried sick pacing around and muttering about how he should’ve noticed. I’m guessing this is something to do with the thing MK said about having pepsi or something?” You weakly laughed and tried to sit up, only to be gentle pushed back down.

“Easy, peaches. From what I could see and what Mac heard, it sounds like your body short circuited. MK! They’re awake bud!” No doubt your friend hadn’t strayed far from you given his already anxious worry about you and your disorder but he cared and you were thankful for it. “Epilepsy.” He looked down at your comment. “Hm?” You went to clarify, sti fatigued from your body’s strange method of expending your built up energy. “It’s called Epilepsy. It basically like my brain overloads from time to time which causes me to do that.”

An anxious loud voice called your name and your turned your head to see MK, looking up at Wukong and hearing his whisper. “I’m glad your okay. Nearly thought Id lost you.” His vibrant tail circled your wrist comforting, and looking back over to his successor. “NAME!” The wind was knocked out of you by MK tackle hugging you and spewing apologies with teary eyes. You loved him dearly but he apologized for things out of his control and his heart is too kind for the world sometimes. “MK, I need to breathe. I’m okay! You’ve seen me have one of my seizures, I probably just got overly stressed or dehydrated.”

“Let’s give them some space, bud.” Macaque came into your view with a clay cup of what you could guess to be water and used his tail to lift the young adult off you. Handing the water to you and visibly relaxing once he surveyed your appearance. “Happy you’re okay, kid. Sorry if my scare caused this-“ The demon sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and averted your gaze before coming looking back at you. “If I’d known this would happen I never would have jumped you.” You grabbed his hand and smiled, softly chuckling. “I forgive you Mac. It was probably a result of my medication change and thank you for getting me water- Hey guys…”

A bunch of small monkeys crept up behind you all and approached you, climbing on your lap and tugging your shift to grab your attention. “I’m alright. Thank you for your concern!” It was all adorable, watching the ones who were close to you with a bit more boldness quietly make noises at you. Not that you could hear what they were saying but you could tell they were also worried. Both celestial primates make some calls at the young ones who answered back and went back to their day, all except for one. Who ran over to your bag and pulled out a fruit, offering it to you. “Thanks buddy. I need to energy.”

#lmk sun wukong x reader #lmk x reader #lmk macaque x reader #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk qi xiaotian #lmk mk #lmk mk x reader #lego monkie kid #tw: epileptic content

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borderlinereminders · 2 months

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you made a post today about reaching out without guilt tripping, and i was wondering kind of. how do you do that? cause when i'm feeling insecure i tend to isolate myself and not reach out to my friends because i feel anything i say might be interpreted as guilt tripping or attention seeking, and that if i say anything about how i'm feeling they'll just feel pressured into having to take care of me and maybe they just keep me around cause they feel bad for me, and i know that's irrational and my friends actually do care about me, but i have trouble reaching out because i feel like i'd just be bothering them and they don't want to hear from me, which just makes the feelings of abandonment worse in the long run. do you have any tips for getting over that barrier?

Can you have a conversation with your friends about this? And be honest that it’s a struggle and you’re worried it’ll come off as guilt tripping and see if you all can come up with ways that work for all of you?

To my best friend, I usually tell her “hey, it’s not you. It’s a bad brain day. Can I have some reassurance please?” Because both her and I have BPD, this works for us. We don’t need more than that. We know it isn’t personal and are happy to reassure each other.

Here’s my post on seeking reassurance! But I do recommend talking to your friends about it. It’s okay to say “hey, sometimes I struggle with needing reassurance but I worry about accidentally guilt tripping in the process of getting it. Can we talk about this and see if there’s a way I can ask in the future that won’t make you feel pressured?”

#april answers

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inairbinad · 1 year

Text

Steve's Got a Date with a Vampire!

part one of seven | 4.9k | AO3 Now Complete!

Where Eddie wakes up a little bit different, Steve is obsessed, and Dustin gets his Meddling Kids Platinum Badge™. I know I posted a couple teasers from the last chapter of this over the weekend, but friendly reminder that this is primarily an idiots to lovers fic, and they take their sweet ass time getting there. Warnings: None for this part, except the obvious mentions of blood.

Steve didn’t ever really leave Eddie’s bedside, while he was sleeping. The only breaks he took were to shower or go visit Max down the hall. Most nights he stayed past visiting hours, the nursing staff having long given up on trying to stop him falling asleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair—oftentimes with Lucas's head resting on his shoulder.

One of those nights, with Steve already leveled with exhaustion and barely holding his own head up, Robin came in to sit with him.

“Steve,” she all but whispered.

“I’m okay, Rob,” he said automatically. “Just gonna rest my eyes for a bit, then I’ll drive you home.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Robin said, sounding fondly annoyed. “Nancy’s gonna drive me. But—don’t you think you should go home and get some rest?” she tried.

They’d had this conversation every day for the last three, now. Steve hadn’t yet relented.

“I’m just gonna worry if I go home,” he said honestly. “I won’t sleep. At least here I know they’re both still breathing.”

Eddie had made strides in that regard, at least; they’d extubated him earlier that day. There still weren’t any signs of him waking up, though, and there was no change at all with Max.

Robin sighed, apparently having expected that answer. She was quiet for a minute, as they both listened to the slow beep of Eddie’s heart monitor.

“Can I ask you something?” Robin asked, voice still low. “And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, to be clear.”

Steve had an idea of what was coming next and let it happen anyway.

“Sure,” he said.

“This,” she started, gesturing towards Steve slumped in his chair, “is more than just guilt, isn’t it?”

Of course Robin knew. She always went on about how she couldn’t read social cues very well, but Steve couldn’t ever get anything past her. Maybe it was their “telepathic brain thing” that Dustin always complained about them doing. Sometimes it weirded Steve out a little, but right now he was just grateful for it. For Robin.

“No,” he said. His voice sounded small. “It’s hardly guilt at all, really.”

Robin just made little humming noise to herself. Steve took that to mean she wanted him to keep going.

“I mean, I wish we’d done things differently, obviously” Steve said, laughing bitterly so that he wouldn’t cry instead. He’d go back and do things over a thousand times not to end up here again. “I wish I’d stayed with him and Dustin, maybe. Or dealt with Jason when we’d had the chance…” he trailed off, thinking of Max down the hall, Lucas’s swollen face, and the way Erica jumped at every loud noise now. “I’d do a lot differently—or I wouldn’t do it at all. But I blame Vecna more than I blame myself, believe it or not.”

He couldn’t quite figure out what Robin was thinking, or what the look she was giving him meant. Her eyes were soft, a little sad, but also something else.

“I just,” Steve started, but he didn’t know how to say it out loud. Except he knew Robin was waiting for him to, and that she’d be proud of him if he did. The promise of that propelled Steve forward. “I can’t lose him, Robin. Not when I just got him.”

Steve didn’t think he had Eddie, not really. He just knew how Eddie’s teasing grin made his insides warm. How whichever pet name for Steve fell out of his lips at any given moment made him almost forget the apocalypse they were fighting together. Steve didn’t need to have Eddie as his own, he thought. He just needed to know he was alive, that Steve had more days ahead of Eddie invading his personal space, and leaving Steve breathless when he left his scent of smoke and something spicy in his wake.

“You won’t,” Robin said, something steely in her voice now as she grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed. “Neither of them are going anywhere. Not if I can help it.”

Steve did his best to believe her.

———

On the seventh morning of Eddie’s hospital stay, Steve dragged himself into Eddie’s room like usual. Coffee didn’t really do much to quell his exhaustion these days, but he sipped on some anyway as he got to his new routine. He played one of Eddie’s cassettes—quietly, as he’d gotten plenty of dirty looks from the nurses for being too loud before—humming along as he pulled a chair up next to Eddie’s bed. He was so still, Steve couldn’t help reaching out to thread his fingers around Eddie’s wrist, just to feel his pulse still beating away.

This time it stuttered under Steve’s touch. That was new. Steve looked at Eddie’s face, confused. He looked peaceful, like this. His skin was still cool to the touch, but his breathing was even, pulse slow and now jumpy. Was that a good sign?

“Hey, Munson,” Steve said, settling in. He let his grip around Eddie’s wrist loosen, leaving his hand to cover Eddie’s own instead. “It’s been seven days in here, now. Three since you’ve been breathing on your own again. Max is still asleep, too. I wish I had better news. Dustin misses you. I miss you,” Steve sighed and tried to think of something cheerful to share.

“The press does seem to be buying the government’s alternate serial killer theory, since it’s simpler than ’Satan did it,’ I guess. Wayne said the police are working on closing the case against you, so that’s a relief, at least.” Steve dropped his head into his free hand. What good was clearing Eddie’s name if he wouldn’t wake up to see it himself?

“I was wondering why I wasn’t handcuffed to the bed,” a surprisingly smooth and awake voice said above him.

Steve’s head snapped up so fast his neck cracked. Eddie was looking down at him already, his brown eyes darker, somehow. But they were open, bright, and alive. Steve felt his mouth stretch into a wide grin. He didn’t know what to say for what felt like a long time, just smiling stupidly at Eddie.

“Disappointed by that?” Steve finally replied, then immediately felt like kicking himself. Here Eddie was, waking up from a coma, and Steve couldn’t even figure out how to say something normal. Something like, how are you feeling or can I get you some water, sprang to mind too late. But apparently all Steve’s stupid little brain could manage was something not-so-vaguely flirtatious under Eddie’s gaze.

But Eddie didn’t seem to mind. In fact, if Steve wasn’t totally deluding himself, it seemed like Eddie liked it. He didn’t blush, but he looked flustered. Hungry. Steve let that revelation settle deep into his bones, warm and pooling like syrup.

Then he got his shit together.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He was still cold. Eddie’s gaze flicked down to Steve’s neck and back. If Steve hadn’t been analyzing Eddie’s every move—for any sign that he might break, might fall back into a coma, might leave again—he’d have probably missed it.

“Starving,” was all Eddie said with a devilish grin.

Steve watched, somewhat dazed, as Eddie let the doctors marvel over his recovery for about forty-five minutes before checking himself out against medical advice. His bites had already scarred over, completely healed in somewhat miraculous fashion. The doctor’s seemed mildly concerned about Eddie’s circulation, given how much blood he’d lost and how slow his pulse still was. But all of his tests were normal, had been for days now. He didn’t seem to have any muscle atrophy, no loss of brain function. He was just Eddie.

So Steve didn’t argue when Eddie asked him to drive him home as soon as possible. Steve wheeled Eddie down the hall to visit Max before he took him back to the motel where Wayne was staying. Eddie had complained loudly about the wheelchair, only relenting when Steve gently laid a hand on his shoulder and said, “Humor me.”

They sat with Max for a while, sobering Steve’s giddiness at Eddie’s complete turnaround. But Steve knew if anyone had the strength in them to do the same, it was Max Mayfield.

No one was here visiting yet—it was still early by anyone but Steve’s standards. So they took their time talking to her, Eddie giving her the daily update like Steve had done for him. He gave Steve a knowing grin as he said, “We all miss you, Red.”

Steve was too busy looking at his feet in embarrassment, so he didn’t notice Eddie hopping out of his wheelchair at lightning speed.

Then Eddie was in his space again, quicker than Steve had time to even account for. Eddie turned into Steve’s neck and whispered, “Cover for me, Stevie.”

Then he dipped down the hallway and into the stairwell.

Steve fumbled to recover for a minute, wondering what on earth had just happened. He looked to Max’s sleeping face as if maybe she’d know. Steve imagined her usual lazy shrug and his heart ached.

Sure enough, a minute later one of the younger nurses came looking for Eddie with discharge paperwork. Bewildered as he was, Steve could handle this part. He leaned against the door frame next to her and grinned.

“I think he went back to his room for something,” Steve said, before putting on the most convincing show of fake flirting he could muster. It still wasn’t his best—Steve was mostly still thinking of Eddie whispering into his neck and ear—but it worked well enough to distract her. Steve was actually surprised to see her face fall when he brushed her off for Eddie’s return.

Take that, Robin, he thought, picturing her damned tally board. Steve thought this whole endeavor probably warranted a point in the ‘You Rule’ column, but he didn’t care much. He was too busy watching Eddie saunter over to his side with his now-zipped jacket suspiciously full looking, and his grin bright.

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand, shall we?”

Steve was too busy caught up in the thrill of Eddie—alive, probably healthy as Steve had ever seen him, laughing breathlessly as they made their escape to Steve’s car—to even ask what he’d been covering for. He wondered if they’d just robbed the hospital pharmacy.

Eddie seemed to wilt a bit once they got outside and the sun peeked out from behind a cloud overhead, hitting him straight in the face.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself, ducking back into the shade by the doors. “Didn’t think of that.”

“What?” Steve asked, offering his sunglasses over. Eddie accepted them with a grateful smile, then took a tentative step back into the sunshine.

“It’s nothing,” he said, seeming to relax a little once the sunglasses were on. Steve couldn’t help but notice they looked good on him. “Help me to the car, would you?”

So Steve did, offering Eddie an arm to lean on as they made their way through the parking lot. Steve eyed him carefully, but didn’t ask questions.

Well, at least not until they got into the beemer. That’s when Eddie immediately pulled something out of his jacket—was that donated blood?—then tore into the bag and sucked its contents down like, well, water.

Then Steve had questions. The first of which being a hearty, “The fuck?”

Eddie drained the bag and let his head fall back to rest on the seat, exposing the column of his neck. Steve swallowed, cursing his brain to pay attention to what the hell was happening instead of being a slut for once. Eddie lolled his head to look at Steve and gave him a gleaming, bloody smile.

“So, funny story,” he paused. If Steve had to guess it must’ve been for dramatic effect. “I think I’m a vampire.”

———

Admittedly, the whole vampire revelation made Steve a little anxious in a what-in-the-Vecna-fuckery sort of way, but he didn’t trust Eddie any less over it. Just because he was on the slithering asshole’s radar, Steve didn’t understand why he’d have to worry about Eddie being mind-controlled by Vecna anymore that he did for Max or Will. The whole vampire bit was admittedly a curveball, but so was the rest of Steve’s life at this point.

All the same, Eddie himself had insisted that they give it a few days before letting him around the kids, to be sure. Dustin only gave it twenty-four hours before calling a “family meeting” and inviting everyone over to Steve’s. Steve had not been consulted, but what else was new?

So there he sat, Eddie sandwiched between himself and Robin on his couch, while Mike, Lucas, and Dustin took turns pacing in front of them.

The kids eventually devolved into having a rapid-fire debate about some dude called Kas—who apparently destroyed things? Steve wasn’t sure it really mattered. Dustin kept yelling something about Kas and betrayal, whatever that meant, but Mike was countering with something about evil and alignments. Steve guessed it wasn’t about any dark desires from a chiropractor.

Eddie had finally had enough of their bickering and whistled for them to shut up.

“Look, kiddos. I want a Vecna-free brain just as much as you guys. Well, more than you guys do,” he paused to fiddle with his rings. Steve wondered if they weren’t real silver, or if that was just a myth. Then he realized he’d thought all vampire-related things were myths up until yesterday. He shook himself out of his thoughts as Eddie continued. “If he is secretly hanging out in the ol’ noggin, I can’t tell. But don’t you all keep telling me about a girl with mind-reading abilities? Think she could suss him out?”

The room went silent, blessedly, for maybe one-and-a-half seconds.

“Genius!” Dustin exclaimed.

“Where’s El?" Mike asked Lucas at the same time.

“Will that work?” Lucas questioned over everyone else.

“One at a time, Jesus,” Steve cut in, rubbing his eyes. When he stopped, Eddie was looking at him with some emotion Steve couldn’t quite interpret. He stopped trying and turned back to the kids, who stood there staring at him like they were waiting for assignments. Steve sighed, and pointed at Mike. “You first, Wheeler.”

Mike turned to Lucas. “Was El still at the hospital when you left?”

She spent most of her time with either Hopper or Max these days, so it was a fair assumption.

“She was,” Lucas confirmed. “Is that something you think she can do?”

“Probably,” Mike shrugged.

“Definitely,” Will amended, speaking up for the first time in a while.

And so that’s how Steve ended up going to get El so she could “do a proper seance” on Eddie’s brain, as he’d put it.

“I don’t feel him,” El said about an hour later. “Your mind is strange.”

Robin failed to hide her snickering behind her hand.

“Believe me, kid, I know,” Eddie agreed with a grin.

With everyone more relaxed after that, Eddie regaled the kids with his tale of evading tipping off the nurses to his being awake while he pieced together that he’d woken up not quite…human.

“So I played dead,” Eddie told them and flopped on the floor like a sack of dead weight, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth and everything. Steve watched the hem of Eddie’s shirt ride up just far enough to give him a glimpse of the worst of his scarring. They already seemed to have faded again since the day before. “And hoped like hell I wouldn’t eat anyone before I could figure out how to get down to the blood bank. Then Stevie came to my rescue.” He flashed Steve an exaggerated wink and whisked himself back to his feet as he told everyone how waking up felt.

Eddie apparently had a lot of weird dreams while he was still under, too. When Dustin asked, Eddie explained how most were like watching his body turn cold, like steel—or dreams about blood. He recounted waking up and being overwhelmed by feeling almost everything around him, of being able to hear the heartbeat of the patient in the next room over before the monitor even registered it with a beep.

As an added bonus, Eddie also enjoyed showing off the fangs.

Steve had to work to control his face every time Eddie popped those out. Steve thought the fangs should be freaking him out, but they didn’t in the slightest. To the point where Steve thought maybe there was something wrong with his fight or flight response after one-too-many trips to a different dimension. A normal person would be scared, not inexplicably turned on by the thought of them sinking into the flesh of their neck.

In the interest of not exposing himself as a lovestruck idiot to absolutely everyone in the room—Robin absolutely already knew, based on the looks she’d been shooting him all afternoon—Steve excused himself to the patio for a smoke break. He didn’t usually smoke much anymore, unless he was drinking, largely due to Robin’s incessant nagging about it. But Steve was pretty sure if he had to keep his blossoming crush on his friend the vampire in check, he’d need a lot more nicotine to distract himself.

Except Eddie slid out of the patio door to join him. Steve offered him one from his own pack wordlessly. Eddie accepted with a toothy—but thankfully fang-free—grin.

“Do these do anything for you anymore?” Steve asked, suddenly curious.

“Not really,” Eddie shrugged. “I just wouldn’t know what to do with my hands if I quit. Or for an excuse to leave the room when I’m uncomfortable.”

Steve huffed out a nervous laugh, unsure if that was meant to be Eddie calling him out. Unwilling to really find out, Steve stayed quiet and stared up at the few stars that were starting to show themselves.

“Are you sure you wanna let me drive them home?” Eddie asked after a minute, staring determinedly at his shoes. Steve didn’t know what the hell to make of that question.

“I’m not your mother, Munson,” he tried for a lighter tone.

“True,” Eddie smirked, “but you’re kind of theirs, though.”

Fair, Steve thought. But he still wasn’t sure what Eddie was actually getting at. “What’s this about?”

Eddie sighed and stubbed out his cigarette with a frustrated flourish. “I guess I’m asking if you’re sure you trust me to be around them. By myself. When I’m like…this.”

Steve almost laughed, but managed to hold it in once he saw that Eddie was being serious. He was tucking into himself like a pill bug, like he was expecting the fear and revulsion to finally come rolling off of Steve in waves.

Steve had wondered if it was a delayed reaction on his part, as well, and if eventually he’d be disgusted or freaked out by the whole situation. So far those feelings showed no threat of surfacing, and Steve didn’t really think that they would, either.

Instead, all he felt was relief. He was relieved that Eddie was still alive. Or, well, kind of alive. He never really mastered the logistics of all the vampire movies Robin has made him watch. And really, after all of the Upside Down creatures that had tried to eat them over the years, Eddie seemed positively tame.

Most importantly, he seemed like himself.

So, gently, Steve reached his hand across the empty expanse between them and laid it on Eddie’s forearm. Eddie’s eyes snapped up to meet his own.

“I trust you,” Steve said, putting every ounce of sincerity he could muster into the look they shared. Eddie seemed to believe it, because after a moment he deflated, melting back to lean against the house. “And more importantly, so do they,” Steve added, jerking his head back towards the kids inside.

“Your trust is pretty important to me, too, Harrington,” Eddie admitted with an almost shy smile.

Steve sucked whatever he could out of the last dregs of his cigarette and prayed for the strength to survive being a total goner for Eddie Munson.

———

Max seemed to be improving physically, but there were still no signs of her waking up anytime soon. The longer she slept, and the more things deteriorated in town, the more everyone wanted to find Vecna and finish the job.

Soon enough they all coalesced around a plan to end the Upside Down nonsense once and for all. With El and Will back in town, and Eddie’s newfound enhanced abilities of his own, it didn’t take much. Especially once they realized their old friends the demobats were now more inclined to follow Eddie’s lead than “Old Slitherfuck,” as he called Vecna.

One spring night they snuck into the Upside Down one last time and ended things for good. Max woke up in Lucas’s arms the moment Vecna was done and dusted, and El closed the gates for what they all hoped was the final time.

And now? Well. Now everyone was trying to get back to normal. Or as normal as they could be when they had to figure out ways to steal blood for the vampire in their friend group.

So on they went, trying to settle into yet another new set of skin. Eddie was still wary of himself, Steve could tell, but he never withdrew into isolation or tried to convince everyone they were better off without him.

Which was good, because everyone wanted Eddie around that much more.

Dustin wanted nothing more than to test his abilities, and did test whatever Eddie would let him get away with. Robin asked if they could have vampire movie nights, or if Eddie would find that insensitive (he heartily agreed to it). Nancy had a million questions like the good reporter she was, and she and Dustin often piggybacked off each other’s ideas. Mike tended to go between staring at Eddie in awe and wondering if maybe his sexuality was just “people with superpowers.”

Or at least that’s what Steve and Robin assumed when no one else was listening (and Robin wasn’t pointing out Steve’s own crush on a certain vampire).

Steve was just doing his best to cope. He was getting used to the whole “Eddie Munson is now an undead vampire” situation. Really, he was.

Was he sometimes inexplicably a little bit jealous that he apparently didn’t get enough demobat venom to also be turned? Jealous that he wasn’t the one with superhuman strength and outright awe from the kids at his mere existence? If he was, Steve wasn’t willing to admit it out loud. Because he knew where the jealousy was really coming from, and he certainly wasn’t going to admit how attractive he found Eddie’s new set of pearly whites, no matter how many times Robin tried to get him to.

With everyone’s support (and curiosity), it didn’t take very long for Eddie to finally relish his adaptation into an immortal being either. They’d determined that the sun was hard on him—it made him feel sluggish and itchy, “like Kryptonite"—but he didn’t burst into flame under its rays. Usually he just wore sunglasses and carried around an umbrella like an old-timey gentlewoman who didn’t want to accidentally gain a freckle.

Eddie had been a night-owl before, anyway, so nothing much had really changed there either. Silver didn’t hurt him, mirrors still worked on him, and garlic only made him sneeze. No one was willing to check if a wooden stake would do anything, and Eddie seemed as glad of that as Steve was. Other than the commanding an army of bats, invulnerability, and the obvious diet changes, Eddie didn’t seem all that different.

It was driving Steve wild.

The simplest of flirtatious remarks sent him into a tailspin most days. And Eddie was full of flirtatious remarks by default. The more Steve let on that the flirting flustered him, the more elaborate Eddie got with it.

Eddie’s retelling of his and Steve’s escape from the hospital became more embellished, as well. Steve didn’t exactly know what had happened before he’d arrived to visit that morning, but he was pretty sure it didn’t involve a ravenous Eddie hanging upside down from the hospital ceiling to avoid being caught out of bed while he looked for the blood bank, like Eddie claimed.

Once, he was regaling Will and Dustin with his harrowing journey down into the basement on the “hunt for blood,” as he stood on top of the coffee table in Steve’s living room. (Steve did not have it in him to object to this, a bit of a double standard that Robin mocked him mercilessly over.) Steve was only half paying attention—he’d been there, thank you very much, he remembered what actually happened—from the kitchen while dumping a bag of chips into a bowl.

He perked up though when Eddie said, “Steve was pitifully flirting with a nurse for my benefit—“

“Hey!” Steve protested as he made his way back to the living room. He shoved the bowl into Eddie’s chest and flopped on the sofa next to Will. “She was into it.”

“I could tell your heart wasn’t in it, sweetheart,” Eddie said, and shot Steve a wink. It was so simple, barely even a blip on anyone else's radar, but it had Steve feeling heated through.

Steve tried not to melt into the floor as Will gave him a sideways glance. He did his best to ignore it. The last thing he needed was for someone other than Robin to needle him about his ridiculous behavior.

That particular desire was quickly snuffed out by one Dustin Henderson, though.

———

One day in May, Dustin cornered Steve on their way out of the Henderson house.

“Do you have a problem with Eddie?” Dustin asked him, point blank in his hallway. Steve was suddenly very grateful that Claudia was not at home at the moment.

“No?” Steve couldn’t help but let it become a question. Dustin narrowed his eyes.

“Well, it seems like you do. All you ever do is stare at him, you barely talk, you act like you’re going to jump out of your skin if he even looks at you. Are you afraid of him or something?” Dustin’s face softened, like he was trying not to be quite as harsh as usual. There was still a fierceness there, though, that Steve knew was just born of protectiveness over Eddie.

“No,” Steve replied without hesitation. “Even though you might think that’s a perfectly reasonable reaction to have to our friend the newborn vampire, I’m not afraid of him.”

“Well that’s just it!” Dustin half-yelled, throwing his hands in the air. He just barely missed clipping Steve’s nose. “He’s our friend, but you’re back to treating him like some kind of freak. So if you’re not afraid of him, I’d like to know why you’re being a dick.”

Steve flinched. Dustin wasn’t outright saying it, but he got the implication all the same; you’re acting like King Steve again.

He so violently wanted to reject the accusation that he considered telling Dustin the truth.

It wasn’t like Dustin didn’t accept queer people. He knew about Robin now—thank god—and practically mooned over her for weeks with how cool he found it. Steve was pretty sure Dustin wouldn’t react any differently to finding out he was also a member of the fruit basket, as Robin had dubbed them.

Steve took in the sheer disappointment on Dustin’s face and sighed. He retreated into the living room and plopped on the couch, restlessly running his hands through his hair. Tews came up to him and rubbed her cheek against his pant leg. He gratefully scratched her ears.

Steve knew if he just admitted to the jealousy, Dustin would feel better, but wouldn’t entirely lose that kicked-puppy look. ‘I just want my dads to get along,’ he’d taken to whining whenever he felt like Steve and Eddie weren’t bonding to his specifications. Steve tried not to spontaneously combust each time any of the kids referred to him and Eddie as such.

Fuck it, Steve thought. He knew Dustin would latch on to his confession like Dart with a Three Musketeers, and Steve dreaded the conclusions he’d jump to. But he couldn’t stand to disappoint the kid. He took a deep breath in as Dustin sat beside him. For once, he’d kept his mouth shut instead of berating Steve into submission. He waited patiently, quiet.

“I’m not afraid of him,” Steve said again. “I don’t think he’s a freak. I’m not turning back into King Steve.” He gave Dustin a pained look, who had the grace to look a bit sheepish in response. “I like him, okay?”

“You don’t seem like you—“

“No, Dust,” Steve interrupted. He held Dustin’s gaze this time, hoping he’d connect the dots without too much explanation on Steve’s part. “I like him. I stare and barely talk and tense up because he makes me nervous. But in the butterflies in your stomach kind of way, not the oh god he’s going to kill us all in our sleep kind of way.”

Dustin stayed silent, but his eyes were wide as saucers. Steve wondered if he should give himself a pat on the back for rendering Dustin Henderson speechless for possibly the first time ever.

“You okay?” Steve asked instead, picking at his pant leg. Steve was nearly certain Dustin wouldn’t care that he was bisexual, sure. But he couldn’t help but worry that Dustin still wouldn’t approve—that Steve wouldn’t be good enough, not for Eddie, not in Dustin’s eyes.

Dustin had a knack for surprising Steve, though.

“This is amazing,” he said, eyes practically fucking sparkling with delight.

[PART TWO]

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fanfic #stranger things #vampire!eddie #dani's drafts #steve's got a date

147 notes · View notes

emilymk20 · 11 days

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TW: $u!c!d3 $h 4n4

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This is my note that I’ve had written out for a while 🙃 Fair warning, it is really long. I don’t know, maybe it could help somebody, whether it helps them keep going or just helps them relate. Much love 🫶🏻🖤

This is so cliche, but I feel obligated to leave some kind of explanation. I am absolutely positive there has always been something wrong with me. Normal people don’t want to die at eleven years old. One thing I was always good at was covering it up; I almost wish my struggle was more visible, but I know that people always just want to help and truthfully help is the last thing I want. More reason why there’s probably something wrong because who thinks like that? The one thing that I am losing is empathy. It was always empathy that made me “better.” I didn’t want to make anyone waste their time worrying and I didn’t want to be seen for what I am so I started eating more, I stopped cutting myself, I didn’t take the pills, I didn’t cry, I didn’t let myself feel anything. In a way that made me hold on; the idea that I didn’t want anyone to have to find my body, I didn’t want anybody to mourn me, I didn’t want anyone to think that they could have helped me, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to think that the decision I made was their fault. I don’t expect anyone to understand it, but nothing happened to make me feel this way. Some awful things have happened in the midst of it, but there’s no root cause or trigger; I apply blame to nothing and nobody except myself and the operations of my own brain.

I’m tired. It’s so difficult to explain, but I think I’ve felt so deeply for so long, I have nothing left to feel. I feel like a shell of a person. I’ve noticed a recent trend in the past three years that I’ve never experienced before in the impulsively of my emotional rollercoaster. I’ll spend days, weeks, sometimes months feeling so proud of myself and hopeful, motivated more than ever before to better myself, happy where I am, and then in a matter of minutes it all slips away from me. I push everyone away and I can’t help but stop trying. I won’t eat or I’ll eat until I’m sick from it, I’ll cut myself because that’s the only thing that can make me feel, I won’t sleep at all or I’ll sleep all day, I won’t clean, I won’t shower, I won’t even get up to use the restroom. It’s as if I go completely brain dead, but my thoughts still won’t stop racing. Then, once I can come to terms with it all and maybe find a solution, the mania hits again and it all doesn’t matter anymore because I feel like I’m on top of the world. I don’t eat because it feels good to be hungry or I’ll eat a lot because “I deserve it,” I don’t sleep because that seems like so much valuable time going to waste, or I’ll sleep a lot because it’s a form of self care and if my body is that tired I should let it, and I’ll cut myself still because it’s empowering and I find it almost pretty. Nothing tangible ever changes, just the unbearable fluctuation of my head. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for me to hide it, because to everyone on the outside, that is my normal.

I constantly feel like I’m watching myself glued to a tightrope. I can pull myself down to my lowest, feeling all that tension, and then suddenly skyrocket to my full potential. Well, I have to fall back down at some point, and I always do. The only thing is that I’m stuck. I’m stuck in my head in that cycle and the only way out is to fall off. Sure, there’s ways to get make it bearable, I mean there has to be some diagnosis for all this to explain it, but would I really want to spend my life maintaining symptoms? Would I really want to spend my whole life fighting? No. I don’t even want to spend the present fighting. I know from the outsider’s perspective I just seem lazy, and trust me, I feel that way too.

I can’t even begin to describe how exhausting it is. What I think about often is how humans are awake during the day, but you can always take a break when nighttime comes to sleep. I’m hyper aware of everything that takes my energy that I don’t have control over. My brain never stops thinking, my blood never stops pumping, my body never stops breathing…I know these are things that regular people don’t think about, but with every breath I take it feels like a loss. I just want nothing more than real rest and peace of mind. I don’t understand why things bother me when everyone else wouldn’t even have these thoughts pass their mind. Why am I so introspective and aware? Ignorance truly is bliss.

It seems really crazy, maybe because I am crazy, but the higher points of my life are more painful than the lows have been. There’s something so comforting about losing my drive, letting myself slow down, watching myself rot away and fall further from reality; it’s almost my ideal, but not quite. I just want true rest. I really wish I had the option to completely start over. I romanticize my childhood so much; bittersweet nostalgia is my biggest downfall. I was so clueless then; so full of joy. I wish that I could put my finger on what happened and when it all went wrong. I don’t know why I long for that life so much now; I love being independent and having the freedom to make my own decisions as an adult, but maybe it’s the immanence of responsibility always pushing me down. I miss the days before it started looming over me. I don’t feel as though I was ready to be on my own, I don’t think I ever learned how to handle that freedom because all I’ve done is abuse it. There are irreparable decisions that I’ve made for the specific purpose of digging myself deeper in a hole because I feel like that’s what I deserve. You can say that’s not true all you want, but it’s a little too late to still be invalidating my feelings so allow me.

My self hatred is so deep rooted, I can feel it in every nerve of my body. I’m embarrassed by myself. Truly, if I was somebody else, I wouldn’t even speak to me. I am undesirable in every aspect; I harbor so much jealousy, I’m a deadbeat, it’s probably been a decade since I’ve made a “good decision,” I’m annoying, I talk way too much, I have a huge ego (which is interesting because obviously I don’t like myself all that much), I have too much baggage, I’m ugly, I’m insecure, I have no room to consider anyone else in life, and I don’t care. To my core, I wish I could be anyone but me. I don’t know how to describe the gravity of me wishing I was dead. It doesn’t even seem like that big of a deal to me anymore because in all honesty I feel like I’ve been slowly slipping away anyways. Death is not a stranger to me; I feel like I’ve been hanging out on the front porch of the end for far too long, and I just can’t wait to step through that door. When I was little, it was always, “I want to die, but I guess I can wait until after _______…” There was still some hope back then. Now it seems that my hope has run out for me and I just don’t care anymore. I am sorry, but I have exhausted every option for me, and I believe that it’s time for me to regain control at least for a final moment.

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yoongiseesawmp3 · 2 years

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amazing grace - psh (m)

part of the church boy series.

summary: you’re spending the summer at home after finishing school and you somehow get dragged into handling the baby nursery at church for the next two months. the only thing sweeter than the babies is your co-worker, park seonghwa.

word count: 10k

warnings: smut! i tried my best to keep language gender neutral but afab!reader and smutty smut smut. some language. little slow burn-y? breeding kink a little bit? sorry. oral (f receiving) and uhhh unprotected sex pls don’t do that! and a lil gagging. lmk if i need to tag anything else. mostly unedited also!

“okay, i know i said i needed a transition job, but this is not what i meant,” you tell your mother, who just explained “the best idea” to you.

basically, she wants you to move back home for the summer and babysit all the kids from your church. some of these kids were made by classmates and friends of yours, and this feels like a slight dig by your mom that you haven’t made any grand-babies yet. she said the pay was decent, and the job is yours if you’re willing to live back at home for a month or two while you wait for your connections to finesse a job for you.

“c’mon, y/n, you’d be really good at it,” your mom insists. “i always thought you’d be a great teacher, so this can be a way for you to try it out.”

“i don’t know mom,” you say. “this just doesn’t align with the plan i had for myself.”

“well i know that,” your mom scoffs. “i’m just saying...if nothing better comes along....:

“i’ll consider it,” you assure her, putting her at ease for the time being. she moves on to complaining about some family drama, and you start to zone out, catching yourself thinking about how bad the nursery job really would be.

that following sunday, you wake up to your phone ringing. it’s still early, and it’s the weekend, so you decide to ignore it and try to fall back asleep. the buzzing stops and your room is quiet for a moment before you feel another vibration alerting you of a voicemail. worried that it could be something about a job opportunity, you grab your phone and play the voicemail without checking the number.

“hello? uh, hi, y/n,” a man’s voice begins. “this is seonghwa, from church. i uh, i saw that you might be interested in the open nursery job? so i was calling about that. if you have any questions, you can just call me, and maybe we can meet to discuss the position. i think you’d really like it, so i hope you get in touch soon. ok. um. that’s it. alrighty. bye.”

seonghwa? park seonghwa? like the guy you had a big ass crush on from age ten to eighteen park seonghwa? just the thought of him working with babies is enough to make you swoon. maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t take the nursery job after all, even though you’d convinced yourself to do it for a few months at least.

then again...it’s been a while since you’ve seen seonghwa, so maybe those childhood feelings won’t resurface and it won’t be as endearing to see him with babies as you’re imagining. you decide to sleep on it a little more, and plug your phone back in before you roll over and go back to sleep with babies and seonghwa on the brain.

“y/n!” your mom yells, obviously using the spare key you gave her very freely. she let herself into your apartment on her way home from church because she had news.

so, yes, maybe she mentioned the whole baby nursery thing to you because she wants to light a fire under your ass about having grandkids, but she knows an easy job around some cute babies will help cheer you up after finishing up your final semester and an internship without any job prospects. but this morning, the most curious thing happened.

she was sitting in her pew after church, chatting with friends, when a handsome young man came up to her asking about you of all people. he said his name was seonghwa and that you were friends back in high school, so he was really excited when he heard you were interested in the nursery job. he said he called you but you didn’t pick up (which is typical) and he wanted to know if your mom could relay the message that he really hopes you take the job. so of course, she had to come tell you immediately. now, she won’t admit that she’s already got your wedding planned with this young man, but she does have venues bookmarked in her phone. just in case.

you woke up a few minutes before she came over uninvited, so you were alive and dressed, thankfully. don’t need to hear a lecture from your mom about sleeping until noon as a grown adult. you grab your laundry basket on the way out to make it look like you’ve had a productive morning and go to greet your mother.

“hey mom, thanks for the heads up,” you reply and she just rolls her eyes as she unpacks the food she brought over.

“nice to see you too, sweetie,” she scoffs. “i have a bone to pick with you.”

“oh do tell.”

“do you remember seonghwa?” she asks, and it takes every ounce of strength in you to not audibly groan.

“yeah, he called me about the position,” you say, skipping the part where your mother coos over how marry-able he is. “i was gonna call him back once church let out.”

“and have you?” she sing-songs back.

“no,” you reply in the same tone. “he’s probably still there with the kids so i was gonna give a few more minutes. and also, you’re here. it’s rude to take phone calls when you have guests.”

“i guess i’ll just have to get out of your hair then,” your mom says as she starts to pack up.

“you’re joking?” you ask incredulously. “you’ve never come over for such a short amount of time.”

“that was the plan the whole time,” she assures you. “i thought you might need some face to face encouragement to call that nice young man, and i didn’t want to feel bad about finishing this family size meal all by myself, so it was a successful trip.”

“thanks mom,” you grumble as you drop the facade of being productive and leave your laundry on the kitchen table in favor of picking at the fried chicken on your kitchen counter.

“call that boy!” your mom shouts as she lets herself out, and you promise that you will so she’ll leave faster.

you let a few days go by before you actually call seonghwa. part of you is hoping that you’ll hear from one of the many jobs you’ve applied for in your field, and the other part of you is trying to suppress the butterflies you get every time you think about seonghwa. you think you’ve finally got those under control, and your rent is looming ahead of you, so you take the dive and call your old friend.

was seonghwa still your friend? as you wait for him to pick up you think back on some of the time you spent together as kids, which was definitely peak friendship for the two of you. then you started drifting apart around middle school and came back around during high school when you both started volunteering with the younger kids. you drifted again when you both went to college, and you realize you haven’t really spoken to him since. it makes sense that seonghwa would still be working with kids, but you wonder what he’s been up to these past few years. your train of thought is cut short by the sound of the familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. “didn’t think you’d ever call me back.”

“yep,” you laugh nervously. so much for suppressing the butterflies in your gut. “i am completely skint, so i need a job. and you so kindly offered me one the other day, remember?”

“skint?” seonghwa replies. “you learn a bunch of weird words off at that fancy college of yours?”

so it seems the years apart didn’t take away that comfortable connection you always seemed to have with seonghwa. friends and family would call what you two consider platonic banter just straight up flirting, but there’s no one around to hear the teasing lilt in seonghwa’s voice or to see the blush threatening to rise all over your face.

“i learned a few,” you confirm. “do you know what assiduous means?”

“isn’t that a type of tree?”

“no,” you laugh. “it means to show great care and perseverance.”

“i was way off,” seonghwa laughs back and you nod despite being alone. “maybe that can be your thing if you get this job, you teach the babies new words.”

“yeah, tell me more about this job,” you start. “do we have to actually sit on the babies?”

seonghwa wasn’t expecting that, and laughs fully from his chest. you can’t stop the warmth that spreads through you at the sound, and it takes seonghwa a moment to respond.

“dear god, please don’t sit on them,” he says through a few spare giggles. “your mom didn’t explain the job to you?”

“a little,” you shrug. “but you actually do it, so tell me more. what’s it like getting paid to wipe baby shit all morning?”

seonghwa goes on to explain the job, and you learn that it’s not just a one day gig, which is great news for you. you could potentially work the majority of the day on sunday with a few hours here and there throughout the week for bible studies that need childcare. it’s not an astounding amount of money, but with your savings it’s enough to hold you over while you look for something more permanent.

“and the kids are really cute,” seonghwa concludes, ending his thorough description of everything this job entails.

“thank goodness, i wouldn’t do it if they were uggos,” you joke, and you hear seonghwa sigh, but you also think you hear a smile in his voice as he replies.

“you haven’t changed at all, have you y/n?”

“if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, right?” you answer. “so when could i start working in the nursery?”

“seriously?” seonghwa asks, sounding surprised, which is weird considering you just spent 10 minutes on the phone with him discussing the job and its duties.

“uh, yeah? that’s why i called.”

“oh, um, right,” seonghwa hesitates. “well, uh, i guess you could start this sunday? you can come in tomorrow to do the paperwork, i’ll be there to do childcare for a leadership meeting, and i can show you where everything is.”

“seonghwa, i’ve been going to this church since i was a baby,” you tell him. “i already know where everything is.”

“ah yes, but do you know where i keep my secret pack of snacks that i steal from the toddler rooms so i have something to eat that’s not pre-mushed? or where the good lysol spray is kept?”

“you have much knowledge,” you tease. “guess i’ve got a lot to learn.”

“yeah, you’ve just got to be assiduous about it,” seonghwa replies, a smile present in his voice. “so i’ll see you tomorrow? and then again on sunday?”

“tomorrow and again on sunday,” you confirm. “bye seonghwa! and thank you, seriously. i needed this job.”

“it was yours from the start,” he tells you. “see you later, y/n.”

you get to church early the next day, and find seonghwa in the baby nursery organizing diapers into different drawers. you stop for a minute and take him in, noticing that his face shows a little more maturity than the cherub faced kid you grew up with. you’ve seen him around, but you haven’t taken the time to notice just how...grown up seonghwa looks. he looks good, you can’t deny. you’re busy staring at his chiseled jawline when he turns and jumps at your presence.

“jesus, y/n, say something next time,” he gasps out.

“shouldn’t you apologize for saying j dog’s name like that?” you joke.

“ok, don’t call him j dog in front of the kids,” seonghwa laughs, and he takes a moment to blatantly check you out. “you look nice.”

“oh, thanks,” you say simply. “didn’t know if i needed to treat this like a real job or not so i went with one of my more casual interview outfits.”

“you got the job,” seonghwa assures you. “no need to impress me with cute clothes.”

“so,” you say, ignoring his comment and lingering eyes. “you were gonna show me where the snacks are?”

in the next five minutes, you find yourself sprawled out at one of the little tables in a toddler room down the hall, onboarding paperwork surrounding you and a pile of oreos in between you and seonghwa. you catch up as you finish your paperwork, and you learn that seonghwa has been working at the nursery all through college. he’s not sure he wants to be a teacher anymore, or work with kids at all actually, but the church kids have a special place in his heart so that’s kept him here over the years.

“what about you?” he asks. “you just graduated right?”

“right,” you confirm. “kinda don’t wanna talk about it.”

“why not?”

“well, no offense, but i didn’t expect to get my degree and then come back home to work with church babies,” you tell him. “i’m not as nice as you, i don’t have a soft spot for these kids. i just have bills i have to pay.”

“i get that,” seonghwa nods. “not everyone can be as kind and caring as i am.”

“woah, that’s totally not what i meant,” you laugh, and seonghwa smiles back at you.

“no, i really do get it,” he assures you. “i don’t plan on being here much longer myself.”

“oh? and what’s next for the oh so lovely park seonghwa?” you tease, and you feel proud at the blush you find dusting seonghwa’s cheeks.

“i’ll be keeping that to myself for now,” he teases back, popping an oreo in his mouth as he glances down at your paperwork. “you did that page wrong.”

“what?!” you exclaim, looking back to notice that yes, you did fill it out wrong. you wrote in the spots meant for the employer and not the employee, and you groan. “it’s because you’re distracting me.”

“if i’m a distraction to you then i don’t think we should work together y/n,” seonghwa says, holding eye contact with you for a moment. suddenly you find it hard to breathe, and if seonghwa hadn’t moved to get you a new sheet, then you’re not sure where that conversation would’ve gone. there was some kind of intention behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite read, so you decide to ignore it instead as you pop open an oreo and absentmindedly eat the icing. seonghwa catches you licking the icing off and has to remind himself he’s literally at church so his mind won’t wander.

“here,” he says as he gently hands you the new stack of paper. “brought some extras in case you mess up again.”

“don’t make me quit before i even start, park.”

“sorry,” he laughs. “but speaking of that, when can you start?”

“uh, pretty immediately?” you tell him. “i really need money.”

“so like, could you start tonight?”

apparently thursdays are a big day for bible studies at your church, because within an hour, you’ve got about five newborns in the nursery with you and seonghwa. the other nursery workers came in shortly after you finished your paperwork and welcomed you, and you had to laugh at them calling you “seonghwa’s friend” as if you didn’t grow up in this church just like he did. it’s obvious you’re not as involved as seonghwa, so it didn’t matter that much, but when you recognized one of your childhood church friends dropping off her kid, you waved, and she pretended not to see you. that got on your nerves, but someone dropping off another baby cut through your angry inner monologue. you hold eye contact with the baby in your arms before you call for seonghwa’s attention.

“seonghwa you told me these kids were cute,” you start out. “this one looks like a cabbage patch kid gone wrong.”

“don’t say that y/n!” seonghwa scolds you, but you can see the hint of a smile sneaking through his sharp features.. “babies are little angels.”

“you really like kids don’t you?” you ask, after watching him fuss over the baby in his arms. “you’re really good with them.”

“thanks,” he replies with a soft, yet breathtaking, smile. “i’ve always felt like i needed to work with them so i could be the kinda person i always needed when i grew up.”

“why babies though?” you ask. “aren’t they more work?”

“eh, not here,” seonghwa shrugs. “the other kids talk too much. ask a lotta questions i don’t want to answer.”

“smart man.”

“but also the past few years i’ve just had babies on the brain,” seonghwa continues as he bounces the baby in his arms. “i guess it’s my subconscious telling me i need to start a family soon.”

“any prospects for that family, hm?” you pry, smiling as you watch the baby in his arms giggle and clap.

“maybe,” seonghwa replies shyly. “i don’t wanna talk about it.”

and you leave it, for that night at least. the crush you have/had on seonghwa is keeping you from being totally neutral, so you know you’ll want to ask again in the future, but for now you let seonghwa be cute with his little baby buddies and you just admire from afar and help out as you can.

before the night is over, one of the little girls has completely clung to you, falling asleep on your chest so securely that her mom jokes about bringing you home with them so they don’t have to wake her. with a little luck, you don’t even disturb her as you place her into her stroller, and seonghwa looks on proudly while you smile and wave goodbye to some of the cute kids walking by.

“so when were you gonna tell me you were a pro at this?” seonghwa asks, and you blush slightly. “the babies, and the parents, love you. impressive.”

“they’re easy to get along with,” you shrug. “and you made it pretty easy too.”

“what about you?” seonghwa asks suddenly. “have you thought about starting a family?”

“not until recently,” you admit. “seeing my friends have kids has really lit a fire under my ass, mostly because my mom sees her friends talking about grandkids on facebook and then she comes to me asking for grandbabies just about every single day.”

“and?”

“and what?”

“do you think you’ll have kids?” seonghwa asks, and you shrug.

“not sure, really. maybe if i meet the right person? but for now, no,” you tell him. “need a real job before i can have a real kid.”

“got it,” seonghwa nods, something unreadable in his expression. he finishes wiping down the counter before turning to face you fully. “want me to walk you to your car?”

“i’m right outside, you don’t need to-”

“i insist.”

you take a few minutes to collect your things, and then seonghwa is leading you out of the church, pointing out which doors need to be locked before you walk out and what lights need to stay on for the cleaning crews. you take it all in intently, and soon enough you’re outside your car, awkwardly waiting for seonghwa to finish his spiel about coming to work early.

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa interrupts himself. “i’m boring you.”

“no, not at all hwa!” you insist. he quirks an eyebrow at the resurfaced nickname, and you stumble on insisting that you’ll be at work early no matter what, and you’re so thankful for this job, and-

seonghwa kisses you. it’s quick, so you almost don’t notice, but he definitely kissed you, the lingering hand on your hip to steady you is enough evidence of that. he pulled away quickly, and it gives you a chance to stare back at him, checking his eyes before flitting your own gaze back down to his lips. he gets the hint and leans back in, this time securely wrapping his hands around your waist as your hands card through his hair. it’s an innocent kiss, but seonghwa’s touch makes you feel like you’re on fire. he alternates between deep kisses that have you searching for air, and then he pulls back slightly to nip your lips and tease as if he’s going to pull away, before diving back in.

but before you know it, he’s pulling away again, whispering something about work on sunday, and then he’s gone, leaving you with puffy lips and your heart beating against your ribcage.

the next few shifts with seonghwa go by without a word about your kiss. he’s still his friendliest self, still a little aloof like always, and still so sickeningly sweet with the babies. it’s doing things to your heart, watching him take care of them so well, and you catch yourself staring a little too often. you hope seonghwa doesn’t see, but he’s caught you a few times. all it does is rustle the budding feelings for you deep in his chest, and he does his best to ignore them for now.

“why do you keep staring at me?” he asks one quiet shift, just the two of you and a baby asleep in each of your arms. you had absolutely been staring at his plump lips as they made kissy sounds at the baby in his lap, but you can’t just say that. you don’t know where you stand with seonghwa, so you don’t wanna push it if there’s not anything that should be pushed, so you make something up.

“oh, i was just looking at how you were holding the baby,” you tell him. he’s somehow made a barrier for the baby to sit comfortably in his elevated lap, which looks so much more comfortable than the way you’re sitting. “i think my arm is about to fall asleep.”

“well we can’t have that,” seonghwa says, finally looking over to you and noting how your arm must be cramped in that small chair. he gets up and carefully places his baby in a bouncer before making his way to you. “let me show you how to do it.”

“what?” you ask, taken aback as seonghwa slides his arms around yours to shift your grip on the bundle of joy you’re holding.

“just go with it,” he says, eyes flicking up to bore into your own. his voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re not sure if that’s because of the sleeping baby or not.

he pulls his arms away once he’s satisfied with your hold, and you assume that’s all he’s gonna do. you’re noticeably more comfortable now, but seonghwa’s not done. he places his hand at the back of your knee and pulls your leg up. the touch takes your breath away, and seonghwa is quick to position you so that both of your feet are on the stool in front of you, legs bent to create that same elevated surface for the baby that you watched him do. he tells you to put the baby in your lap now, and he stands above you for a few moments to gauge your comfort level. one hand is still on your knee though, so he gives it a squeeze before pulling away completely.

“see? that’s better.”

“mhm,” you squeak out, still reeling over the feeling of his hands on your legs. the slightest hint of fire lingers on everywhere he touched, and you focus on your baby to clear your head. “thank you.”

“anytime,” he hums, moving around the room with a smug smile on his face.

it isn’t until a week or so later that seonghwa makes another move. it was a busy day, you were swamped with crying kids all morning, and seonghwa could tell you needed some kind of relief.

“y/n?” seonghwa whispers, trying not to disturb the easily excitable babies that are currently asleep. “are you doing anything tonight?”

“uh, no?” you reply. “why? please don’t tell me it involves more babies.”

“no,” he chuckles quietly. “i was planning on meeting some friends at a bar and wanted to know if you��d be down to join us? you remember my friend, hongjoong right?”

“was he the one that you brought as your friend to youth night one year, and the pastors all asked you if they should pray for his soul?” you ask jokingly, somewhat remembering the fiasco it was that seonghwa brought a friend who dared to come to church with blue hair and an actual fashion sense. it catches seonghwa off guard, and his chuckle is a little louder this time. you both freeze, staring into each other’s eyes and hoping you don’t hear a baby wailing in the next three seconds. the room stays silent, so he continues the conversation.

“yeah, that’s him,” he smiles. “he’s dj’ing tonight, so we’re going out to support him, if you wanna come.”

“yeah, i’m down,” you say with a shrug. “could definitely use a drink after dealing with these little ones.”

“don’t talk about impure things around the babies,” he whispers back.

“hwa, none of these kids know what we’re saying,” you say a little louder than you probably should. the baby closest to seonghwa starts to whine, and he’s quick to soothe them, but then the baby next to them wakes up and starts crying, and suddenly the whole room is abuzz with tears. you catch seonghwa’s eye and smile, “bet you could use a drink right about now, huh?”

you agree to meet seonghwa at the bar, just taking a lyft to make things easier on yourself later. you make it through the front and start looking around for your devilishly handsome coworker when you hear someone calling your name. you turn and see what must be hongjoong waving you over.

“y/n!” he shouts as soon as you’re close enough. “it’s so good to see you!”

“you too!” you shout back over the music. “i can’t believe you recognized me after all these years.”

“i’d remember that face,” he replies with a wink, and you can’t help but take the compliment shyly. “thanks for coming to see my set.”

“well thank seonghwa for inviting me,” you tell him. “do you know where he is, by the way?”

“he’s outside trying to find some of our friends,” he explains. “apparently they started pregaming and are too drunk to find the bar. so i’m sorry about any of that in advance.”

“oh i’m sure it’ll be fine,” you laugh. “speaking of drinks though, i think i’m gonna head to the bar, you need anything?”

“nah,” hongjoong shakes his head. “i’m good, don’t like to be affected when i get on stage.”

“very professional of you,” you reply. “i’ll be right back then.”

you squeeze your way through the crowd, fighting for a spot against the bar as you wait to get the bartender’s attention. while you wait, a hand lightly taps your shoulder, and you turn around to see seonghwa. he smiles at you sweetly, waving from a couple people behind you. you wave back, but grab his hand before he puts it down and you just yank him to the front with you.

“thanks for that,” he laughs. “glad you could make it.”

“happy to be here,” you smile. “you need a drink?”

“hell yes,” he replies, and you gasp in pretend shock.

“perfect angel park seonghwa just said a curse word?” you continue, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i could say a lot worse than that,” he assures you, and you don’t know why that makes your heart skip a beat.

“i’d like to see that,” you tease.

“i’m sure you would,” he fights back, and you fall quiet. the bartender looks your way and seonghwa waves her over before whispering to you, “if it’s quicker, we can just put this all on one tab.”

“okay,” you agree, reaching for your wallet, but seonghwa puts his hand on top of yours and shakes his head.

“don’t even think about it,” he says. “i invited you out, i’ll get this round.”

“thank you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder so you can shout it in his ear over the music. you both order, and continue to wait as the music booms around you. the drinks come quickly, and there’s suddenly a large group trying to push their way to the bar, so seonghwa, thinking fast, grabs you by the hip to lead you back to the table where hongjoong sits, now with a few new faces.

the friends introduce themselves as yeosang, yunho and mingi, and they seem like nice guys. despite what hongjoong said earlier, they don’t seem too drunk, and they’re easy to talk to, which you appreciate. it’ll be a fun night, and you all hype hongjoong up as he gets ready to perform.

“so how often does he do this?” you ask seonghwa, who’s motioning for you to slide into the booth next to yeosang.

“not that often actually,” seonghwa explains. “he usually just produces or writes for his side projects, but every once in a while the owner here convinces him to dj if she needs some extra cash. hongjoong always pulls a big crowd.”

“i didn’t realize i’ve been invited to such an exclusive event,” you joke, and seonghwa smiles lightly.

“well you are a vip,” he lamely replies, and you laugh, mostly at his red cheeks and the face of regret after he realizes how corny that was. “shut up. try your drink.”

“what’d you two order?” mingi asks, finally cutting into the banter between you and hwa.

“i got a mule and y/n got a fancy martini,” seonghwa explains. “y/n’s all grown up on me now.”

“i saw a tiktok about a bartender that said people who know their exact martini order are sexy, so i’ve been trying a few things,” you admit.

“that is kinda sexy,” yeosang says, giving you a suggestive eyebrow wiggle that gets you laughing. you don’t notice seonghwa stiffening beside you as yunho butts in.

“so what’s your order?” he asks politely. “martinis always seem boring, but that looks good.”

“you can try a sip if you want,” you offer him. “it’s a wet martini with a twist, so it’s a little sweeter, but still strong.”

“wet?” mingi laughs, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“grow up, that’s how you know how much vermouth is in it, you twelve year old,” seonghwa scolds him. he says this as he watches you pass your drink to yunho, who sticks his straw in and takes a tentative taste. why didn’t you ask seonghwa if he wanted to try?

“that’s actually not bad,” yunho says with a nod.

“i like it,” you agree. “having a go to martini order feels so adult. figured it was time to move on from the cheapest thing on the menu and go for a big kid drink.”

“hey, hongjoong’s starting!” yeosang chimes, noticing how the lights have changed and the music is getting lower before transitioning to hongjoong’s set. you all turn your focus to the stage to watch him hard at work, heads bopping along as he builds momentum. your table stays quiet for a moment, enjoying the music and sipping your drinks, and then you feel a slight pressure on your leg. you look down to see seonghwa gripping your thigh, and you glance up at him but he’s still focused on his friend. you stare for a moment, hoping to catch his eye to no avail. you look back at hongjoong, and seonghwa squeezes your knee before letting go completely. you ignore it, but scoot closer to him ever so slightly.

you’re about to turn around to say something to him when hongjoong suddenly changes the song to one of your favorites, and instead of the subtle move you were going for you whip your head around to face seonghwa and insist that “we need to go dance. like now.”

“now?” he asks, slightly caught off guard as you put all your weight on him to force him out of the booth.

“yes, now!” you shriek. “i love this song, let’s go!”

seonghwa finally stands and you down the rest of your martini before grabbing his hand and leading him toward the crowd. you nestle yourselves off to the side, but in hongjoong’s line of sight, so he smiles and waves when he notices you having a good time. you lightly drape your arms across seonghwa’s shoulders and start to dance, and it takes him no time to place his hands on your hips and follow suit. maybe downing your drink wasn’t the best choice, but hey, you’re dancing with seonghwa and he seems to have no problem with it. he really must not mind, because now you’re singing along to the chorus right in his face and he just laughs and pulls you tighter. you notice a tension in his hold, but you’re too enveloped by the song to really care. your song slowly starts to build into another, and you slow your movements and lean slightly into seonghwa’s chest to catch your breath.

“that was cute,” he says, looking down at you through a gaze that you can’t quite read. “note to self, y/n really likes bad bunny.”

“it’s a good song,” you laugh nervously, trying not to think about the last time you were this close to seonghwa. his lips are slightly chapped tonight, but plump and kissable nonetheless. maybe if you just-

“i’ll have to remember what else you like,” he says lowly, and you have to lean closer to hear him fully.

“like what?” you ask, unsure of where this is going.

“well, i know what kind of music you like,” he begins. “and now i know what kind of drinks you like, too. you like your martinis wet, right?”

“you seem to be paying a lot of attention to me, park,” you just barely whisper, your lips so close to his ear he can feel your breath.

“answer the question, y/n,” he warns. “you like your cocktails wet, right?” you give a meek ‘mhm’ in response. “then i wonder what else you like wet, huh?”

you pull back from him slightly, mostly to read the look he’s giving you, but seonghwa has tightened his grip on you so hard that you can’t quite move. now you notice the tension you felt earlier came from the bulge in his pants that’s currently pressed up against your thigh, and your next look at seonghwa tells you all that you need to know.

“why don’t we get out of here and you can find out?”

“get out of here” didn’t really work that well. you made it back near the bar with every intent of closing out the tab, but seonghwa decided kissing along the nape of your neck was a better idea. then he pushed you over toward the wall and occupied your lips for some time, and after that you couldn’t take it anymore. you’re currently pressed up against the door of the nearest bathroom, seonghwa’s lips on yours and his desperate moans sending warmth from your chest all the way to your core. you whimper as he pulls away, and he has the audacity to smirk at you while he brushes the hair out of your face.

“couldn’t wait till we got to my place, darling? had to have me right now?” he teases, tracing his fingers across the marks along your neck before dipping them to the top of your shirt. “can i take this off love?” you nod quickly and lift your arms, helping seonghwa pull it off you. your bra leaves little to the imagination, and seonghwa can’t help but stare for a moment. while he’s distracted, you try to catch him off guard.

“who knew precious church boy seonghwa was the kind of guy to fuck in a bar bathroom?” you tease, and seonghwa responds by dipping his fingers down to pinch your nipple. you try to save face with your response, “pinching, really? grow up.”

“stop talking,” seonghwa says lowly before meeting your lips again. “not sure...what you’re into..or i would’ve just slapped your tits to shut you up.”

“i thought you said you wanted to learn what i like,” you say as you pull apart. “so ask me what i like. and don’t say anything about being wet.”

“are you?” seonghwa quips, and you quirk an eyebrow in reply. “you want me to find out myself?”

“ah, after you take your shirt off,” you interject. “i like an even playing field, i take something off, you take something off.”

“fine,” he gruffs, pulling his shirt over his head with ease and revealing the most surprisingly toned chest you’ve ever seen.

“damn, lifting babies made you buff,” you joke, and seonghwa decides he’s getting tired of your jokes. he finds the waistband of your panties poking out above your hips and gives it a tug, releasing the elastic on your skin to give you a little jolt. he looks back up to your eyes and you tell him it’s okay before he dips his fingers into your underwear to immediately find your clit. he gives it a few tentative rubs that have you rutting your hips embarrassingly quickly, and then he’s dipping two digits down to your entrance.

“you think you can take two fingers already?” he asks. “you’re wet enough i think they would slide right in.”

he’s right, he pushes his fingers into you with ease and you hear how wet you are with each movement. he gets in a few quick strokes and then he pulls his fingers from you too soon, silencing you quickly by tapping his fingers on your lips.

“suck,” he instructs you. “don’t wanna hear your funny little jokes right now.”

“but-”

“ah ah, i can stop and we can go back to the table,” he begins, and you violently shake your head, his wet fingers rubbing obscenely over your lips. you tentatively lick away the slick and seonghwa rolls his hips into yours with a moan. “cmon, fingers in your mouth or we’re not doing anything else. can’t get too loud or we’ll ruin hongjoong’s set.”

you finally comply, welcoming seonghwa’s digits as they push past your lips and rest on your tongue. you do as he said and give a little suck, swiping your tongue around to collect the arousal that’s still currently dripping through your panties.

“hmmm,” seonghwa continues. “should i eat you out for good measure? or would that take too long?” you try to respond with his fingers in your mouth, but he sighs and pulls his hand away so he can hear you.

“not sure how long i would last,” you pant slightly. “and i wanna cum on your cock too badly to risk it.”

“oh baby, who said you wouldn’t?” he asks, sending a shiver down your spine. “help me get undressed sweetheart, and i’ll show you something i like.”

you reach for seonghwa’s pants as he does the same to you, roughly undoing his belt and zipper so you can push his pants off him quicker. you’re both left in your underwear, and seonghwa pulls your bra off your shoulders as you dip your hand into his boxers. you give him a quick squeeze, which has him bucking into your touch, and you feel a little victorious, but just for a moment. he’s removed your bra and pulls your panties down next, but you watch as he balls them up and mimics opening his mouth as he brings the balled up fabric back up to your lips.

“i told you we can’t be too loud,” he explains, and you nod in understanding as you let him fill your mouth with your soiled panties. he grips your chin before stroking your clit with his free hand, and you watch as he kneels down to make good on his teasing from earlier. the first touch of his tongue against your pussy has you stifling a moan that’s more like a scream, and you’re suddenly thankful for the gag in your mouth. seonghwa gives your clit a few kitten licks before he moves down and practically starts making out with your cunt, drinking in each drop you let out and holding you down by the hip so you won’t go anywhere. you watch from above as his tongue works through your folds, and you toss your head back in a moan when he sucks on your clit and prods your entrance with his fingers. he dips in slowly at first, giving equal attention to your clit, but slowly he builds until he’s fucking you on his fingers. you can’t help but grind down into him, and the way he’s stroking you has you seeing stars. he starts to apply more pressure to your clit and you lose it, moaning loudly despite your mouth being full and you notice a single tear dripping down your cheek. seonghwa works you through your high, kissing your clit until your moans turn to whimpers, and he stands to greet you with lust filled eyes.

“you taste fucking delicious,” he says before popping his fingers into his own mouth this time. “so sweet and wet, just for me, yeah?”

you nod and mumble something through your gag, which seonghwa doesn’t understand. he pulls just enough of your panties out to hear you speak, and you take a few quick breaths before repeating yourself.

“two questions,” you start, still out of breath from your high. “are you gonna fuck me? and do you have a condom?”

at the second question, seonghwa’s face falls.

“shit,” he mumbles, reaching for his pants. “shit shit shit. i don’t think i do.”

“isn’t there a dispenser in here?” you ask, glancing around your close quarters. seonghwa follows your gaze as you notice, yes, there is a dispenser in here, but the smallest little sticky note on it displays the worst news: out of order.

“fuck,” he groans. “ok, let’s just go, we can go to my apartment and-”

“seonghwa,” you try to stop him, but he keeps going. “seonghwa!”

“what?” he asks, turning back to you with almost puppy dog pouting eyes.

“are you clean?” you ask him, and he looks confused. “i’m on the pill, so if you’re clean, i mean, i trust you, so. we could still. fuck. if you want.”

“are you sure?” he asks. “i’m clean, i promise. honestly it’s been an embarrassing amount of time since i’ve done this so you’re pretty safe, i’d say.”

“well you’re doing great for somebody out of practice,” you assure him, and he laughs.

“ok. so we’re doing this? you’re ok with it?” he confirms once more.

“yes, i’m sure. now come fuck me.”

that’s all seonghwa needs to hear before he’s crashing his lips to yours with newfound energy, and you moan at the way you can still taste yourself on his tongue.

“aren’t you gonna...gag me..again?” you mumble through the sloppy kisses. as much as you love having your tongue in seonghwa’s mouth, you don’t know how much longer you can take.

“depends, are you gonna say more stupid shit?” he asks teasingly and you have to smile.

“no promises,” you tell him and he kisses you quickly one time for good measure.

“i want you in a different position for this, love,” he says. “wanna hear you this time too, no gag. plus i think your panties fell onto the floor.”

“oh good, so those are getting burned,” you groan. “what am i gonna wear out of here?”

“nothing?” seonghwa replies with a devilish smirk. “that sounds nice to me.”

“ok now i want you to stop talking,” you say, placing your hand playfully over his mouth. he bites the palm of your hand and you stifle a moan.

“you liked that?” seonghwa asks with a glint in his eyes. “guess i’ll add biting to the list then.”

“how do you wanna fuck me?” you ask, ready to cut the banter and get back to seonghwa acting out some of your deepest desires.

“up against the mirror,” he says, his voice an octave lower and dripping with lust. “wanna see you watch yourself while i ruin you on my cock.”

your whole body shivers at his words and you can’t even hide it, which fuels seonghwa’s ego more than you’d like. but if it’ll get him to fuck you faster, you don’t mind. you let his hands run down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake, before he stops at your hips and turns you toward the mirror and the sink. his hands glide up your back, over your shoulders, and back down your arms to guide you so that you’re gripping onto the sink, all the while maintaining eye contact through the mirror. you feel yourself dripping, and you wish seonghwa would just split you open on his cock already.

“getting impatient, are we?” he asks, reading your mind. “stop rubbing your thighs together. it’s not gonna make me move any faster.”

“seonghwa,” you whine, pouting just the slightest bit for full effect. “i want you to fuck me, please.”

“such good manners, baby,” he says, finally breaking eye contact with you to look down at your ass. he gives it a little squeeze before slapping each cheek consecutively, and you let out a yelp with each harsh touch. “if it’s too much, tell me, ok?”

“i’lll be fine, hwa,” you assure him.

“yeah, but still,” he says seriously. “just say the word. we go at your pace.”

“if we’re going at my pace then you need to speed it up a little bit,” you bite back, and seonghwa has you immediately eating your words as he buries himself in your cunt.

“you were saying?” he asks, eyebrow quirked with the cockiest smile on his face. you risk a look at yourself and he’s barely done anything and you already look fucked out. “that’s it, baby. keep your eyes right there.”

“seonghwa,” you moan again as he thrusts quickly, not moving much but successfully shoving himself deeper into your warmth.

“feels good?” he asks quietly, thrusting again a little quicker. you can only nod and let out a shaky breath in response, so he pulls out all the way and buries himself again, ripping a small scream from the back of your throat.

“hwa, fuck me, please,” you beg. “fuck me like you mean it.”

“as you wish,” he obeys, collecting the hair on your back and creating a grip for himself. he pulls you up slightly to create some leverage, and then he’s pounding into you so hard and so deep you feel the edge of the link leaving marks on your thighs. seonghwa’s eyes are glued to your reflection and the way your jaw seems to drop more and more with each thrust, and he moans when he feels you clench around him. “so good for me, baby, you’re taking it so well. taking good care of my cock, hm?”

“seonghwa,” you cry. “more, need something else.”

“so needy,” he scoffs. “hips up.”

you do as he says, and he places a hand at your waist and moves it so that he’s pressing a finger to your clit with each thrust. it’s a subtle touch but it’s driving you insane, and you clench around him again, grinding down when he makes contact with your clit.

“look at you,” he coos. “going crazy for my cock, my hand on your clit...fucking in the bathroom where anyone could hear us...you like it dirty and wet, don’t you my good girl?”

you come unexpectedly at the new nickname, and seonghwa groans so loud you’re sure everyone outside could hear. you can feel the mess you’ve made between your legs grow, but seonghwa keeps going well after you’ve finished.

“is it too much?” he asks quietly and you shake your head no.

“wanna help you get off,” you say breathlessly. “wanna make you come.”

“i’m almost there love,” he says. “just keep bein’ good for me.”

you try to time your movements with his thrusts, squeezing him as he retreats and meeting him when he thrusts back in. he never moved his hand, so this is putting more friction on your clit again, and you’re surprised the overstimulation hasn’t gotten to you yet. seonghwa thrusts deeply and starts losing his breath, so he takes a minute to still inside you.

“fuck, i’m not gonna last much longer,” he says. “where do you want me to come?”

“anywhere.”

“no, y/n, tell me where-”

“i don’t care, hwa,” you whine. “just want you to come. i might come with you.”

you feel his cock twitch at that, and he smiles that devil’s smile again.

“fucked you that good, huh?” he asks, and you reach behind you to pinch his side.

“just hurry up and come,” you say.

“wherever i want?” he asks for confirmation.

“wherever you want,” you agree, and he meets your eyes in the mirror.

“then i’m gonna fill you up so i can watch your pussy leak,” he says. “how’s that sound?”

“ideal actually,” the words barely leaving your lips before he thrusts so hard your arms give out, and the grip he’s kept on your hair is the only thing keeping you upright. you moan at the pull, and moan again at the perfect way he’s sliding through your cunt, and you’re squeezing around him just right, and-

“fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he curses, hips sputtering as you feel his come coating your walls. he plugs you up with his cock and stops moving, focusing more on your clit again as he rubs until you’re bucking up into his hand and chanting his name as you come one final time. you feel his release start to drip out around his cock, and he groans as he scoops some of it up and brings it to your lips. you don’t need a command this time, your mouth open and ready as he watches you take them in through the mirror. you feel his dick twitch at the sight, and you start pulling away so he doesn’t get hard again and try to make you come a fourth time in less than an hour. your legs are shaky as he pulls out, and seonghwa audibly groans as he watches his come leak from your pussy.

“that’s beautiful,” he tells you, pushing some of it back in as you look around for your clothes. “you did so good for me.” you can’t help the way you clench at his words, and seonghwa smiles to himself. “glad you came out tonight?”

“mhm,” you squeak, unsure that you can speak properly just yet.

“what are you looking for?” seonghwa asks, picking up on your frantic eyes.

“my panties?”

“they fell, remember?”

“oh shit,” you groan, peeking the fabric that’s mocking you from the floor near the first stall. “shit then i need to get cleaned up.”

“you’re not gonna leave it in?” seonghwa asks with a pout. “but i worked really hard.”

“you’re disgusting,” you laugh as you try to distract yourself from thinking about how hot it is that seonghwa’s come is actively dripping down your legs.

“just pull your pants up and keep your legs closed,” he tells you. “we probably won’t be here much longer anyway.”

“how do you know that?”

“hongjoong’s set most likely ended in between your second and third orgasms? so i bet we’re the only ones of our group left.”

“i’m sorry we missed his set,” you begin, and seonghwa silences you with a kiss.

“are you kidding me? this show was a hell of a lot better.”

after you fucked seonghwa in the bathroom, you casually went back out to your table only to find that, yep, hongjoong’s set was over, and all of their friends had left. seonghwa insisted on driving you home and you laughed together when he plugged his phone into his car and there was a slurry of texts from hongjoong cussing hwa out for choosing a quick fuck over his best friend.

seonghwa was a complete gentleman the whole way home, quieting any question in your mind that he might spend the rest of the night with you. he politely kissed you goodnight, and waited for you to get inside safely before he left, but that was it. for days, actually. he didn’t work the next time you were scheduled, which was odd, and then the next sunday he was mysteriously placed with the toddler class instead of in the infant room with you. you thought you could try to get there early to (jokingly) ask what the fuck was going on, but what you find upon entering the church stops you cold.

the service must have just let out, based on how many people there are in the lobby, so it would be hard for anyone else to spot seonghwa, nestled over in the corner. but seeing as you’ve been semi-obsessed with the man since you started working here, you spot him immediately. you’re so hyperfocused on him it almost takes you a minute to realize there’s a girl hanging onto his arm, and you feel sick.

who knew the sweet boy from church could break your heart so easily?

you don’t even know who she is, so you shouldn’t freak out over it too much, but the thoughts inside your head can’t be tamed. did seonghwa just want to get into your pants, and now he’s moved onto his next victim? or, maybe worse, he was in a relationship the whole time and you just fucked a man who has an entire girlfriend. that makes you feel like the bad person, so you decide to pick the first option, painting seonghwa as the villain. sweet, starry eyed seonghwa, who started bringing you coffee each week and saving your favorite snacks for the two of you to share while the babies slept. kind seonghwa who spoke to the babies like they were gifts from god himself. lovely seonghwa who you caught staring at you at least twice every day since you’ve started working together. maybe you had just read him wrong, and the baby-whisperer thing is just a front so he can be a dick on the side and no one will bat an eye. whatever it is, you’re upset, and you can’t help but think that if you never took this job in the first place you wouldn’t be about to cry in the nursery at the thought of seonghwa with someone else.

while you’re having an internal crisis, one of the other sunday school teachers pops her head in to say hi and make a comment about seonghwa not being with the babies today.

“that’s weird, isn’t it?” she asks, and you simply nod. “he sure loves these babies. and you, but you didn’t hear that from me.” you fake a little giggle as she mimics locking her lips, and you turn to the changing table to look busy. she gets the hint and makes another comment that goes unheard by you, and you’re left alone until you hear the other nursery worker unlocking the baby gate and stepping inside. a little part of you hopes it’s seonghwa and he just has an evil twin hanging around, but a quick look over your shoulder proves you wrong. you’d let your mind linger on the frustration inside you, but the first set of babies are arriving, so you let the mindless tasks of your job take over for the time being.

you’re able to keep your mind off seonghwa until it’s time to leave and you see him coming down the hall from the toddler room. he starts to wave, but you turn around so quickly he gets the feeling that something is wrong. it’s not that he’s avoiding you, well, not on purpose. he is trying to sort through some feelings he doesn’t quite understand, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wanna be around you since you slept together. but obviously that’s not the way you feel. he lets you turn around in a huff and leave before he can call for your attention, and he settles on trying to talk again another day.

“ms pat, caleb is dirty again,” you semi-complain, telling the other adult in the infant room that the baby you’re holding basically just shat on you. it’s a tuesday night, you’ve got too many babies that came from the same bible study, and seonghwa is yet again nowhere to be seen. you heard something about a shift in the childcare schedule, so maybe he’s in another room...again. regardless, you’ve got a pooping baby in your arms, and your new room buddy jumps into action so you make the pass quickly, quick enough that the innocent baby doesn’t even know what’s going on. with your hands free, you start cleaning up the toys littering the floor when you hear a voice by the door clearing their throat.

“hi y/n,” seonghwa says quietly, trying not to disturb the babies’ peace. “can i talk to you for a minute?”

“kinda busy, seonghwa,” you say in an irritated voice. “shouldn’t you be in your new room anyway?”

“i’m taking a kid to the potty,” he explains, and you roll your eyes.

“you’re an adult, please say anything else.”

“y/n,” he says again. “please. come talk to me, just one minute.”

“i can’t seonghwa, i’m working.”

“she can leave,” ms pat says from the corner of the room. “i’ve got it.”

you look up from the toys you’re trying to line up perfectly, and you catch seonghwa’s cocky smirk as he nods his head toward the hall. you groan and stand, assuring the baby room that you’ll be right back and then seonghwa is opening the baby gate for you. you get a couple steps away from any of the open nursery rooms, and then you turn to face seonghwa.

“what do you want.”

“your new friend seemed pretty eager to get rid of you,” he jokes. “you being mean to the babies again?”

“not any meaner than normal,” you say. “i’m a ray of sunshine in there.”

“like you are right now?” he starts, and you scoff.

“oh please. i have the right to act this way,” you say. “why haven’t i heard from you since we had sex?”

“shh!” seonghwa semi-shouts, reaching to cover your mouth but you step away. “jesus y/n, we’re still at church.”

‘and you just said jesus’ name in vain,” you point out with a cock of your head. “so i guess we’re both sinners today.”

“i’m sorry,” he says quickly. “i didn’t mean to go radio silent on you.”

‘that’s fine,” you say, starting back toward your classroom. “thanks for the apology.”

“wait-” he says, grabbing your arm. “let me finish.”

“i let you finish once, that’s enough i think.”

“y/n c’mon,” he sighs. “what’s gotten into you?”

“i saw you with a girl the other sunday,” you begin. “she was hanging onto you like she was pretty comfortable with it. not sure who she is but i’m also not sure i wanna be in the middle of that.”

“who?” seonghwa asks, eyes wide and sparkling, and you groan.

“ugh, nothing. please, let me go back to work.”

“no, no, you thought i was with someone else?” he starts again, cornering you against the wall so you can’t try to leave anymore. you watch as he flashes back through the past few days, and it’s like you see the lightbulb of recognition go off when it connects. then, suddenly, he makes a face of disgust. “are you talking about her?”

“gee seonghwa, i don’t know,” you say. “why don’t you tell me who she is first and we’ll see if that’s who i’m thinking of.”

“do you know san?” he asks out of no where. “the dick-ish dude that’s our age? he sings in the choir.”

“was he the girl?”

“no,” seonghwa laughs. “that’s his girlfriend.”

“you’re digging yourself a deep, dark hole, park.”

“stop talking,” he snaps. “that was san’s girlfriend. or ex, i should say. she was trying to make him jealous, for some reason i choose not to learn the details of, and i was the victim. apparently she’s as much of a dick as he is, so she’d been involving a lot of innocent bystanders in their fights lately.”

“oh.”

“yeah,” he nods. “so you saw her hanging off of me? did you see me push her away and knock her right into the assistant pastor?”

“ha, no i did not,” you chuckle. “wish i had though.”

“i can try to recreate it for you,” he teases, and you roll your eyes. “i can’t believe you were this upset over that.”

“it wasn’t just that,” you whine. “yes, i was upset that you might’ve been with someone so soon after we fucked, but i still have not heard from you since and that’s why i’m still so mad at you. you’re not even working in the baby room anymore, so it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa nods. “i shouldn’t have ignored you. and didn’t you read the childcare emails last week? the toddler teachers got covid through their bible study, so i’m filling in until they’re better.”

“oh great, so i’m jealous and illiterate,” you nod. “good. love that for me.”

“you were jealous?” seonghwa asks with a smile and you groan again.

“seonghwa, yes, yes i was jealous. i’m jealous of the babies that you hug and kiss because i wish you��d do that to me, of course i was jealous of a girl throwing herself at you.”

you stop for a second and realize the confession you just made, and you feel your face flush. seonghwa shifts too, moving from just casually keeping you against the wall to pushing you into it with his hips. his hands rest at your waist, giving it reassuring squeezes as he speaks.

“as precious as that confession was,” he starts. “i did need some time away from you.” you start to pull away, and he shakes his head. “no, wait. i needed to cool down after we fucked because i was afraid the next time i saw you i would admit how hopelessly in love with you i am. and that’s a lot, right after sex, so i’m sorry that i took a few days and handled it poorly. i was trying to figure out my feelings, and also planning a whole confession, which was a waste of time apparently.”

“you’re hopelessly in love with me?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your lips. “why don’t you act like it then?”

then he’s kissing you, hands tracing your hips and traveling up your sides to cup your cheeks. he deepens the kiss as your hands wrap around his neck, and he mumbles into your lips “i’ve liked you since high school, and fell in love with you when i saw you with the babies for the first time, i think. still processing it though.”

“well,” kiss, “i think,” kiss, “it was the same,” kiss, “for me,” kiss.

“wait, really?” seonghwa asks, pulling away from you with a smile that lights up his eyes. another kiss. “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“still processing,” you tease, and with the next kiss seonghwa bites down on your lip in retaliation. “hey, at least we were idiots in love together.”

“i would prefer to just be in love with you,” he says seriously, finally looking up at you with something quiet and meaningful in his gaze. “i think i love you, y/n.”

“i think i love you too, seonghwa.”

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