#maybe the actual gordon gets a few moments to actually just. be. when the player shuts off the game. and thinks to himself what the fuck di

[snowyvoid]

Honestly looking at Gordon must've been so fucked up after Coomer began to question their reality. You have his coworker, maybe his friend, who he has worked with for a long time, Dr. Gordon Freeman. And then he stops seeing his face on the specific day that the world ends in an almost inconceivable way. He is wearing a full hazard suit when he walks into the locker room that morning. A mirrored glass visor hides his eyes. He snaps his head around like a prey animal. A metal filter covers his mouth. He never knew Gordon to shout.

I think it'd take until the first time they slept for Coomer to question his body language. He noticed before, noticed Gordon leading with his hands, noticed how he held a gun like it was the most natural thing in the world, noticed how his whole body seemed to twist whenever he needed to turn around. But there were more important things going on, it was easy to ignore. But no one sleeps like that. Sitting, calm, still, upright, but utterly silent.

It's undeniable by the time Coomer has him in his hands. His many, many hands. Coomer should feel the metal of the suit shifting against cloth against skin against bone. But he doesn't. It's one solid piece, like the carapace of a bug. His lungs don't rise before he screams. The blood comes from nowhere. The blood comes from nowhere. The mirrored visor reflects nothing, and this was never Dr. Gordon Freeman.

OH MY GOD DUDE,,,,, this is the best thing i have ever. seen with my eyes holy shit you are incredible. like holy fuck you need to write hlvrai fics. i dont yet have anything to add but maybe in a few days i will reblog with more. i need to think before i respond to this because its so fucking amazing. at some point you better fucking believe i am going to make art based on this. just. goddddddd i wont be able to stop thinking about this for a few weeks i think.

#fav #hlvrai #do you think that when gordon gets shot he just. doesnt bleed. like it goes in and out of him like hes dead meat. and it leaves a mark but #theres no. sinew or gore or whtever. #the body of gordon freeman got taken and inhabited by the player. there is two different people that dr coomer knows but they inhabit the #same body #maybe the actual gordon gets a few moments to actually just. be. when the player shuts off the game. and thinks to himself what the fuck di #this guy do to my body while i was gone. i think thatd be fucked up #haunted house hlvrai au

[randomgooberness]

This is in reference to the one post where Gordon gets all embarrassed for talkin like a kid (and maybe I missed something) But does Freemind sign "sorry", or say it out loud? I'm so curious if ya'll have a reason for how or why Mind signs, or the fact that Gordon can even UNDERSTAND it !!

(ask is referencing this post)

TYSM FOR THIS ASK! WE HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON IT LMAO. @shineyfish 's answer: MIND SIGNS IT HE LOVES LANGUAGES!!! there's lots of points in Freeman's Mind where he speaks in different languages or references shit to do with that so it's a big hc of mine that he knows how to speak a bunch of different languages. Can't have prior potentially talking shit about him, and you can't talk shit about him if he always knows what you're saying! Hilariously to me though is that he Canonically doesn't know Morse code. Sign language in particular I feel like he'd know because it's a language where you don't need to speak to use it. That's perfect for anything where you need to be silent, for example, being in Panama with your buddy Eddie and you don't want to get caught.

My answer:

From Gordons POV, in my headcanons, he grew up learning sign language because of his autism- it made it easier for him to communicate nonverbally, especially because he was mostly mute for the first few years of his life(to which when he was like 7 or 8 he switched to never shutting up LMAO). Gordon couldn't actually understand that specific moment where Mind signed, because he wasn't facing him and was moving, so he didn't really see it- just a bit of movement(hence why he's confused in the comic). However, there IS a scene that took place a day or so prior(in act 1, that comic is in early act 2) that had them using it. I shared a small screenshot of the scene because it was really funny to me, but Ace agreed to let me edit it up and post the full segment here! Have a treat :D

This takes place after they get outside for the first time and run from the airstrikes- and go into the vents with the skeleton and the sweet voice.

WARNING FOR: ableism(internalized and external) and (technically)self-harm

"It can't be THAT hard to fly a fuckin plane!"

Mind laughed, half joking with that as he moved forward. 

It didn't take long until he was whining again.

"Why are so many people trying to kill me?? I'm awesome! Are they jealous?"

He didn't have enough bullets for all of them at the rate they were going at. The military should give peace a chance, or at least stand still.

"I'm calling dibs on the med station."

"Go ahead," Gordon chuckled. "Yeah, I think they're just jealous of you. They uh. They think the Science Team is too sexy to live." He wheezed.

"YES!"

Mind hooked himself up the the med station, silently begging the thing for what he wanted.

The med station, checking his vitals and seeing he wasn't mortally injured, did not give him any morphine.

"NO!"

He rested his head against the thing as it appropriately treated his more minor injuries. He didn't want to say he was getting desperate, because he wasn't, and if you thought that you were wrong, but... It was hard to be sober around this place.

He laughed joylessly.

"They've got it all wrong. We're actually too sexy to die."

"Exactly!" Gordon laughed, clapping his hands. "Let's uh, c'mon, Bubby I- dude what are you charging in the HEV suit station." 

"My MP3 player." Bubby said.

"What?" 

"Don't tell anyone~!" 

"...Okay," Gordon wheezed. "Is that what's playing the Russian speaking?" 

"The what?" Bubby looked...genuinely confused by that question. "No?" 

"What speaking?" Dr. Coomer tilted his head. Gordon sighed. 

"...Nothing. Let's move on." 

Whatever the fuck Gordon was talking about, Mind was a little concerned about it. Being overly Paranoid that you're seeing things can be good when you need to look for enemies, but hearing things that aren't there? That could be a problem.

Whatever. It wasn't too much of a problem right now, and they still had hallways to go through for a second time. He never wants to look at a hallway ever again. His headache was a little worse, and now that the noise was muffled he had a ringing in his ears. 

"Why do you get an MP3 player?? And why does the HEV station charge it??"

"I want to listen to my tunes," Bubby said. "The HEV station charges anything." 

"I use it for my bionic body!" Dr. Coomer nodded. 

Gordon rounded over to a vent nearby. From it, odd humming and whistling could be heard- alien sounding. Like the Sweet Voice. He pulled out his gun and headed inside. Mind heard it too, flinching. 

"...No. no, it's dead, we watched the bitch get torn apart by the doors, there's no way it survived that. I'm either just imagining that, which is concerning, or mistaking the sound..." 

He didn't seem to be talking to anyone, although kept his gun ready as he spoke. 

If nothing could kill that- that thing, then... "We really are fucked."

"No...No, I'm hearing it too, man," Gordon muttered. He was shocked that this vent was big enough to stand in, and walked cautiously. "...Maybe there's more like him here? I mean, it's called the Black Mesa Sweet Voice- it might...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe it's friendly."

"I doubt that, if Mall-cop was anything to go off of, it'll be irritating at best."

Following close behind Gordon, gun at the ready, he could feel his heartbeat. Something about the mere thought of seeing that thing again sent a spike of fear through him.

"At worst? I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Gordon laughed. "I'm tryin' uh. To be an optimist. Sucks." 

"That's the problem, optimism gets you nowhere in the long run. At some point, you need to cut your losses and start breaking shit."

"It sounds, friendly," Tommy spoke up. 

"Oh, right- you can read it.” Gordon perked up, looking at the taller scientist. “What's it saying right now?" 

"Umm..." Tommy tried to focus. "I-I dunno, I can't really tell without the- without the colors." 

"Oh, okay. We'll see in a bit, then." 

They rounded a corner, and Gordon noticed a figure. 

"Wait for my word, do not shoot." 

A flash from a camera behind them. 

"Don't take pictures flash photography scares him."

They got a little closer, and the figure was still hard to see in the dark. 

"...Hello?" Gordon called. 

A small buzz emitted from it, and then a few lower ones, purple. Gordon got closer, and sucked air between his teeth when he noticed it was a fucking skeleton. 

"...Do you know what that is?" He whispered to Tommy, who shrugged.

As they turned the corner, Mind kept his grip on his gun, assuming it to be an army recruit. He couldn't make out a weapon, but he wasn't taking any chances on that. 

He didn't believe his eyes when he saw it properly.

Option one, he was hallucinating. This was bad for the obvious reasons, but he was skeptical on that because the others were clearly seeing it too.

Option two, there was a real, living, sweet voice using skeleton in front of him. This was almost worse, because it immediately made him worry about Benrey. He watched him die. Now he wasn't so sure.

Option three, group hysteria. He wasn't certain on this one. 

"... I'm not seeing that. There is no way I am seeing that."

"...I think we are," Gordon stammered, eyes huge. 

The skeleton made a few more noises, sort of like a guitar plucking. 

"Stay back- stay back staaay back-" It was hard to tell if Gordon was talking to the skeleton, or to The Science Team. "...You guys have any ideas?" 

"...I could always punch it," Dr. Coomer tilted his head, though he didn't seem so sure. 

The skeleton whistled a few times, a soft, odd noise, before it made a honk noise. 

"...Okay, on three, we rush it," Gordon muttered. "God, I'm scared-"

Tommy perked up. 

"Wait, no!" He cried.

"What?! What?! Do you know what it is!?" 

"That's green!" Tommy asserted. 

"What does green mean!?" 

"Green means he's not mean!"

"So-" 

Gordon was interrupted by repeated whistling and buzzing, a flail of colors appearing. 

"What does that mean-" He choked. "What is he saying?!"

And then, suddenly, the skeleton reached a high pitch that continued on and on, and it was deafening, bouncing against the metal of the vents they were in and stabbing into their ears.

Mind almost dropped his gun, rushing to cover his ears. Too LOUD. Too MUCH. 

"SsHHHHUUTT UP SHUT UP, BE QUIET!!" 

"OW- FUCK-!" Gordon yelped, now covering his own ears. 

It hurt. It hurt. Mind felt like his brain was melting, and without thinking he started shooting blindly at the thing, eyes squeezed shut and ears awkwardly pressed between his free hand and his shoulder. 

He needed this thing dead... Again. 

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the current location they were in, and the gunshots only echoed in the vents alongside the creature. He really should have brought his earplugs to work, but they might not have done much for whatever fresh hell this was.

"JUST KILL IT I CANT HANDLE IT-!" Bubby screeched. Gordon, as if he were an attack dog, started bolting toward the thing with a shout- leading the way as the rest of the team followed. 

The skeleton, who didn't react much to the bullets, started running as well.

Mind squinted his eyes open, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he did, and saw the group running. Unbearable physical pain be damned, he ran after them, not wanting to be left behind.

He needed to make sure that thing stopped existing, even if the process of doing so was going to make him want to commit atrocities... More than usual.

Bubby raced ahead of Gordon and took out-  ...oh god that was an RPG.

Before anyone could say anything, the trigger was pulled, and a rocket blasted through the vents before exploding against the metal, sending a blast of heat and deafening ringing toward everyone.

...And, not only did it not break the vents they were in, but Gordon and the rest seemed to not even care, locked on their target.

Mind, who had uncovered his ears, deciding to just grin and bear it until the thing was dead, caught the full sound of the explosion. 

In almost an instant his body decided enough was enough, and he screeched, falling to his knees and covering his ears, gun forgotten beside him. His palms were pressed hard enough to hurt, and he was almost certain that when he took them away, the imprint of the gloves would be on his face. 

He didn't care. He just needed the ringing to stop. 

He didn't even notice the tears falling until he took a breath, shaky and broken, and heard himself sob. What filled his chest at that was a red-hot shame. What kind of idiot couldn't handle a little bit of noise? Even at that, he didn't need to cry at it, he was being pathetic. He was sure of it, nobody else could see him like this.

The gunshots were muffled and distant, still ringing through the vents as they got further and further away- much louder than a scream, a loud, panicked conversation, and then a bit of talking. 

The first thing Mind properly heard was footsteps and Gordon's voice.

"God, where is he- shit I hope he's okay-"

The large man turned the corner, and perked up, before racing over and sliding on his knees- he immediately put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Woah- heyheyheyhey- are you alright!?"

Without thinking, Mind HISSED at the guy, immediately scratching and pushing the guy away. Space, he needed space, don't look at him-

"GGET THE- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" 

His voice is rough from sobbing, but there's a significant growl to it. 

"IF YOU COME ANY- A-ANY CLOSER I WILL NOT HHHESITATE TO BITE YOU." 

For a split second he looked Gordon in the eyes, and his own were full of fear. It wasn’t for long though, as he very quickly covered his face, scratching at his eyes with a screech in an attempt to make everything less.

"Woah-! Hey-" Gordon backed up, eyes huge. 

He didn't know what to do here- granted, he barely understood what was going on, but he had a feeling this might be related to all the noise from earlier. He himself fucking hated it, but he went into a tunnel vision trying to kill the damn skeleton as a way to cope- and regretted it, because it meant he left Mind alone. Not to mention, his ears were still ringing. 

He backed up a bit more, and sat down across from Mind, face twisted in worry. 

"Hey, keep your- don't touch your face, man."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

There was too many people looking at him, he could feel it-

He hated these stupid gloves and their protective rubber, dragging them over his face just left a dull ache. If he didn't have them on he'd be able to be done with this, the sting from his nails usually tipped it over the edge for him and his stupid brain would start to calm down again. Sure, he normally had to hide the marks until they faded when he was at work, but it's the middle of an alien apocalypse, was he not allowed ONE source of relief in this hell?

After another attempt, he sobbed again, taking his hands down and looking at Gordon with a tear-streaked face. He looked tired. He felt tired. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Gordon frowned, shrinking a bit as he watched him. 

He was a little scared, honestly- he didn't want this guy to suddenly snap and decide he was an enemy. He didn't...entirely trust anyone here, but that trust was building, at least a little. 

He didn't know why he was starting to trust these people, despite how fucking stupid they all acted, or how mean to him they tended to be. He already sort of considered them friends, and hoped they could all still talk after all this was over. 

Naturally, this was scary to see, because of that. But he decided friends should trust and support one another- that's what he heard all his life.

He swallowed, fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground. 

"It's- you're alright, dude, we're. I dunno if we're safe right now but we're...you can breathe, I'm here, alright?" 

Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure.

Mind felt weak. He felt so weak. Useless, pathetic, there was no way in hell these people will be able to look at him the same. He needs to get out of here. 

As he tried to move though, he was shaking too much, that annoying tremble in his hands from earlier now a full-fledged tremor.

He only distantly heard Gordon's words but he laughed at it, hollow. What, did he think he needed help? Did he think he wasn't strong enough? He would have snapped back at him if the exhaustion wasn't so strong in him. Whatever. He took a deep breath, or tried to, curling in on himself.

"Hey- dude, please sit down- please?" Gordon put his hands out. "You're- you need to calm down, first, alright? Can you-" He paused, looking him up and down. "Auh, fuck, okay gimme a sec." 

He paused, thinking- when he was little and had basically daily meltdowns, not long after he became verbal, one of his old teachers used to give him a cup of water so he'd be distracted and stop crying- he later used this technique on Josh all the time. 

After a bit, he went through their collection from the vending machines and took out a bottle of water. He opened it and set it down in front of Mind.

The guy looked between the bottle and Gordon. Trying to think of any tricks, any ulterior motives, anything. 

He came back with nothing. It registered as a discrepancy to him, why was there no trick to this?

Suspicious, he took the bottle, slowly raising it and taking a sip, eyes on Gordon practically the whole time. 

Taking a sip felt gross in his mouth, and he cringed slightly, but drank a little more.

He didn't like admitting that it did make him feel better, and his brain was still shot with panic about what that was as he sat the bottle back down in between them.

Gordon didn't look at him very much- though the guy already avoided a lot of eye contact unless something stupid was said. He continued to play with his gloves a bit, nervous, and when the bottle was set down, he looked at Mind again, studying his breathing and making sure it was slower. 

"...Are you able to talk?" He asked, softly.

Mind opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back at him, Yeah of course I can talk, I'm not a toddler.

... Only to find that he could not talk. 

The shame was back, he hated this. 

Shaking his head no, he brought his knees closer to his chest, practically death-staring Gordon. This is your fault, somehow.

"...Okay, that's fine- I-I go nonverbal sometimes, too," Gordon said. "Do you know sign language? Or would you rather, would you rather we have uh. Fuckin. Would you rather we have quiet time?"

Quiet time. Just hearing the words made Mind want to hurt someone. It felt childish, and he wasn't a child. He was just as damn capable as the rest of them, voice or not. 

Luckily for him though, he did know sign language. Unluckily for everyone else, his hands still shook, and he was absolutely going to get snappy if he had to repeat himself.

"Sign."

Gordon perked up. 

"Okay-! Great! That's- that's great, uh," He  looked back over to the charred vent nearby, and then to Mind. "Do you need anything in particular right now? I-I'm uh, k-kinda scared to leave you alone, cause...I mean. Aliens." He gestured. "But if you want um, me to be quiet, or me to uh, talk? Or distract you? I-I can do that-"

Mind shifted, snapping his fingers.

"Shut up. Pay attention."

He took a second, and another sip from the water, before continuing.

"Don't like this any more than you do. I can still handle myself, not useless."

He paused.

"... I don't like noise."

"...That's...fine. I don't, either." Gordon said. "And I know you aren't useless, you've- I mean, you've kinda been the most normal guy here- and uh, you're smart." 

He curled his knees to his own chest, looking at the ground, before deciding it was important to make sure if he knew Mind was signing or not.

"...I-I've kinda needed you as a source of grounding this whole time, man. It's...everything else is fucked and these people, I-I care about them but they're fucking...confusing." 

The other guy had started signing something, before it died on his hands as he processed that.

Mind wasn't expecting at all to be told he was wanted, let alone that he was smart and helped ground the guy. 

Some weight eased itself off of his shoulders, and he finally looked away from Gordon with such scrutiny. 

"... Thank you. This place is fucking insane," another pause, "doesn't surprise me that you need me here just to make sense of everything."

Gordon let out a wheeze. 

"Oh, it is fucking insane, I don't- the rest of the gang is exploring up ahead, but uh...yeah no. Today fucking sucks. And...I dunno what that skeleton was but- that noise and us shooting shit in the vents? Dude, I thought I was gonna throw up," He straight up laughed. "It- my ears are ringing still. And I'm still hearing weird fucking Russian."

Mind laughed, silently shaking before snapping his fingers again, a smile on his face.

"What is with the Russian?? I'm surprised I didn't throw up if I'm honest."

His expression dropped, and he looked down the vents to where the skeleton went.

"Did you kill it?"

“…I dunno, uh- the vent suddenly dropped off, into uh. Fan blades. Bubby fell in and didn’t get hurt, somehow,” Gordon said. “Uh, they all started to figure out how to get through when I realized you weren’t with us, so I came back here to see if you were okay.”

Mind paused, going over the words in his head.

It occurred to him that he hasn't tried to find a secondary motive or worry about any aliens spawning in beside them for a bit now. He didn't know how he felt about that.

"...Thank you."

“Oh- yeah, man, of course! I-I want us to get out, leaving you would be shitty, you don’t deserve that.” Gordon said, and then started feeling a bit of his Dad Mode instincts kick in again. “You feeling better? Need food? I have more uh, more chips.”

Mind smiled weakly, exhaustion from his breakdown still flooding his system. 

"I'm good for now. Don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. Finishing this water though." 

He picked up the bottle, tracing over the side of it.

“Good- good idea.” Gordon chuckled softly. “You uh, you do that. Then we can see if we can catch up with the team, alright? Or wait as long as you need.” 

He pauses, hesitant. 

“…Uh, there have been a few times where I’ve forgotten earplugs for heavier experiments, and uh. Got overstimulated and shut down, a-and I always locked myself in my office when that happened, cause I was…I didn’t want to be judged. So…I uh. I can kinda get…if you wanted to wait a bit longer. I-I’m pretty sure the Science Team is chill, I know for a fact Dr. Coomer is autistic- Bubby and Tommy haven’t told me themselves but they’re. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll be shitty. But we can still wait.”

Mind’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly, and he put it down again to sign.

"I'm not autistic. I just... Can't handle too much noise. And it isn't my fault that other people can't do things the right way."

If the only reason Gordon was being nice to him is because he thought he was Autistic, he didn't want it. He wasn't broken. He didn't know why his chest hurt at the thought of that. 

He looked away.

"I can move in just a second."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that- it wasn’t in any offense, it was…well, it looked sorta like he doubted him, kind of a sure buddy, whatever you say expression. 

“Take your time, man. I don’t mind waiting.”

Bite, chomp, kill. Mind let it go, for now, not having the energy to argue. 

After another minute or so, he started to move, grabbing the bottle. He went to check for his gun as well, before realising it wasn't holstered, and looked around frantically, panic rising.

He spotted it close by Gordon, and practically lunged at the thing to put it back where it belongs. 

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Gordon gave him a smile, and with a grunt, he stood up, stretching. 

“Houghman, Alright, let’s-“ 

He was interrupted by footsteps, and turned around, noticing Bubby turn the corner. 

“Dead-end.” He grumbled, Dr. Coomer and Tommy following behind. 

“Huh!?” Gordon gestured. “Wh- why?! Really!? How big is this place!?”

...

TYSM FOR READING :3 SORRY IF IT'S A BIT MESSY, AGAIN THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN RP BETWEEN ME AND @shineyfish !

#hlvraifm #asks #cw: ableism #cw: self-harm #SORRY IF THIS ANSWER IS MESSY. I WAS SORTA DRUNK WHEN I STARTED ANSWERING IT AND IM STILL KINDA BUZZED LMAOOOO #freeman's mind

[katyasrussianaccent]

you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15. 

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker. 

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single. 

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.” 

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do. 

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”. 

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks. 

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers. 

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.” 

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in. 

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it. 

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time. 

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts. 

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar. 

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for. 

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else. 

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.” 

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen;  Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that. 

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you. 

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body.  You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?” 

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement. 

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you. 

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task. 

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were. 

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list. 

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?” 

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit. 

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!” 

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands. 

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior  @cherry-piee @mirahg  @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02 

#my fic #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband/reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband x yn #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse x fem reader #corpse x reader #corpse fic #corpse smau #corpse imagine

[qhazomb]

I had a slightly angsty idea inspired sort of by your Thingrey AU and an anime with shapeshifting alien parasites.

Body Horror Warning

So let's say Gordon gets severely wounded, like impaled and suffering damage to some vital organs. Benrey panics bc he doesn't want to lose Gordon, so he calls on all the information he gained from eating enemy humans, figures out which organs are required for survival, and he uses shapeshifting to recreate the vital ones with some of his own biomass and then carefully sets them in place so they can pick up the slack left by the ruined human organs (which were removed, and possibly consumed by Benrey for 'recycling' purposes)

It would take some work, to make sure the replacement organs don't follow a "consume and convert" directive and end up completely replacing the human, but if it does work, then Gordon wakes up with a few enhancements.

(Or he wakes up partway through the process to see an alarmed Benrey with one limb tendril reaching into his chest. Wouldn't THAT be a shock)

And overtime, the result of living with alien organs means Gordon becomes less human (or more than human) as the alien organic matter integrates properly.

Basically another take on the concept of Benrey unintentionally making Gordon like himself, and teaching him how to exist in this new state.

OKAY SO THIS GOT REALLY LONG CAUSE I GOT TWO AUS/PLOTS THAT SHARE IDEAS WITH THIS HERE WHOOPS i’ve thought about something kinda similar to that whole “thingrey heals gordon by basically giving him a biomass transplant” thing! i’ve mentioned before that gordon doesn’t get his hand fully cut off in this au, but it does get cut down to the bone, and aside from some sweet voice to stop the bleeding, it doesn’t get proper treatment until they get back to the states. he keeps his hand, but it’s got nerve damage, and how well he can feel and move his hand fluctuates often. thingrey feels kinda guilty over this, both ‘cause if he’d just stuck around longer he probably could’ve healed the wound up fully, and also the only reason that red shirt attacked gordon in the first place was cause the dude was paranoid about gordon being another “thing”. he tries brainstorming ways to maybe fix the damaged nerves.... all he can think of is by replacing those nerves with his own biomass... but then, since literally every part of himself is connected to his consciousness, he’d basically become gordon’s hand, and neither of them are very jazzed about that idea. so he tries to figure out a way to replace the damaged nerves, and then maybe... remove his consciousness from those cells? and hope they don’t do like you said and basically turn into a fucked-up alien cancer. he tests this out on some deer in the woods, giving them non-fatal injuries that at least fuck up their nerves, replacing those damaged nerves with some of himself, trying to yank his own ‘brain’ out of them (takes a few tries, but he’s able to do it eventually!) and then very closely watching the deer to see if his old cells go all super cancer on the deer. when they don’t, just integrating cleanly and seamlessly with the deer’s body, he is absolutely delighted :) this doesn’t end with gordon turning into his own thing-alien, tho. i have another au that DOES, though! it also involves a “sharing a body” thing.

so gordon’s dying from some sort of unknown cancer-like disease he developed during those times he had to swim through fuckin’, probably-radioactive sewage water while there was a hole in his HEV suit with a big open wound. despite their best efforts, nobody’s able to figure out how to cure him, but then benrey gets the idea of just making him a new body like he does for himself. but to get gordon’s consciousness in said new body and actually stick, gordon needs to have a direct link to the cosmic ether like benrey does, so that his life energy will actually be strong enough to keep the body going. and to do THAT, gordon’s consciousness/life energy needs to hang out in a space that’s already full of cosmic energy. which benrey’s brain just so happens to be. this happens still kinda early on in them being roommates, so when benrey proposes the idea he is more than half expecting gordon to turn it down, rather dying than being stuck THAT close to benrey for however long it’d take to get him all cosmic-i-fied. thankfully benrey was wrong on that front, as gordon tells him that “Dude, you’re annoying as hell, but are in NO way worse than straight-up death. Let’s do it.” gordon doesn’t get to control benrey’s body any, he’s just riding shotgun. “spectator mode” as benrey describes it. he is able to feel all of benrey’s senses, though, and benrey uses this to do him another solid and offers to do stuff that gordon missed being able to do while bedbound, benrey’s like “i’m your player character in a life sim game now, bro.” the first thing gordon asks benrey to do is eat some fast food from like bk or mcdiddy’s or something because “All I could eat for well over a month was that nasty fucking slop they served at the hospital. In liquid form. I want. A fucking. Cheeseburger.” some weird dream shit also happens, and gordon ends up learning a whole lot more about his weird alien annoyance-turned-enemy-turned-roommate-turned-savior while stuck in his head. once gordon officially achieves glowcloud status, benrey puts him together a new body (he tried to get as many details about gordon’s old looks right, but also assured gordon that if any where off, he could fix them himself. grats feetman, YOU’RE a shape-shifter now, too!) oh yeah, and in order to get gordon out of benrey’s body, benrey just does what gets his own consciousness out of it. and dies. by just casually snapping his own neck. gordon is VERY DISTRESSED by this but tries to calm down cause he knows for a fact that benrey ain’t dead. it’s still awkward as hell having to tip-toe around his at-the-moment lifeless body, after gordon slips into his brand new one. tho when benrey ‘wakes back up’, gordon just yells at benrey for not giving him a proper warning before the guy broke his fucking neck. also later mr. coolatta does his bs time freeze thing to have a word with the newly ‘ascended’ gordon, and gordon decks in the fucking face, having now learned not only about benrey’s lab rat childhood, but that mr. coolatta is p much the whole reason benrey had to grow up like that. thankfully mr. coolatta is just ‘that’s fair’, as tommy was similarly pissed at him when he learned. (tommy didn’t punch him, but he did near completely avoid interacting with his father for over a month, and what little interactions they did have at that time, tommy made a point to give off just the angriest fucking vibes. mr. coolatta would rather have been punched, honestly.) THAT GOT LONG WOW, i’ve just had a lot of thoughts about this “sharing a body/becoming non-human” mix au of mine, ha ha. might make a whole fic one day. maybe. dunno.

#thingvrai au #thingrey #body share au

[fastbreakpoints]

what are your thoughts on Jaylen/Jayson? (also im sososo happy Jaylen’s an All Star now and it’s in atl this year? love that for him)

for the amount of time i spend Thinking about them i’ve never tried to put into words how their relationship would actually work, so this is gonna be a mess and i’m so sorry about it in advance lmao pls bear with me

something abt the way they were drafted on back to back years as the 3rd pick and were thrown into the fire together and carried the team to game 7 of the eastern conference finals on jayson’s rookie season (jaylen’s second season) just GETS ME u know. my favorite headcanon for jayson’s rookie year is that they get drunk in jayson’s hotel room after they lose game 3 vs cleveland and talk about their futures and like, how they’re gonna be the future of the franchise. together. and everything seems so bright and possible and hopeful!!!!! until they of course lose the series bc it’s lebron and he’s gonna get cleveland to the finals through hell or high water isn’t he.

and then we have the infamous ‘18-19 season where boston is like, expected to contend now that they have gordon and kyrie back but instead they’re just a HOT MESS of a team lol. jaylen is struggling with his lack of minutes after having had such an important role the previous season while jayson is starting every game and trying to improve on every chance he gets but!!! it doesn’t feel the same because he and jaylen were supposed to do it together!!!!! u know!!!!!! but now jaylen’s barely playing and (drake tweet: role players talking like starters i hate it) mook and terry keep freezing them out on offense when he IS and everything SUCKS so bad lol. 

also i think in the beginning they’re like, ur classic opposites attract trope. jayson was drafted as the future of the franchise while jaylen had to fight for his place on the team even tho he’s a 3rd pick just like jayson. and like, he could resent jayson for it and maybe he sort of does at first but jayson’s always there for him! driving him to be better! saying that they’re in this together and they’re a team! staring at him with his big dark eyes and his easy smile!

so anyway boston still beats indiana in the playoffs and jaylen is SO GOOD and jayson’s been into him since he got into the league so he kisses him after game 3 and jaylen kisses him back and they start hooking up but everything goes to even more shit after they lose to milwaukee in round 2 lollllll jaylen goes home and doesn’t speak to anyone for a week and he’s like. he’s so sure he’s gonna get traded and now he’s managed to get his stupid feelings for stupid jayson involved so he tries to pull away before it gets worse lol and jayson’s like. he texts and calls him and worries that he fucked everything up and so marcus has to go after jaylen and shake some sense into him bc he Knows what’s going on. so jaylen goes to jayson and they talk and make up. u know. ur classic miscommunication trope

and now they’re like. Officially Together. driving each other to be better each and every day. the future of the boston celtics. and they just!!! know each other so well!!!! jayson can always tell when jaylen is frustrated w himself bc he always gets a little mean and dunks way too hard at practice so jayson plays him one on one until he’s too tired to think and kisses him in the showers and drives them home and orders food from jaylen’s favorite restaurant. and when jayson’s worried about not making the all star team jaylen kisses him and tells him to stop being stupid of course he’s gonna make it <3 and when he actually does make the team jaylen dicks him down so good in celebration that jayson forgets how to speak for a few moments lol 

#as always except for the basketball parts none of this is real #also hell yeah congrats to my boy jaylen on making the all star team!!!!! i've decided that nothing else matters this season. only this #jaylen and jayson are all stars. i've seen them grow into being the best wing duo after kawhi and pg and i COULD CRY about it. my boys #the jays #anon #answered

[itsmattsunshinehere]

just found this blog and the way you write is so cute! i was wondering if i could request for a scenario where the reader wakes up early before suga and tries to make breakfast for him but ends up making a mess? thank you love!

BABY IM SO SOWRRY IF IT TOOK SO LONG OMG ARGGGGG I HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING YOU WAIT LIKE A MONTH 😭😭😖 Basically I had so many ideas but actually didn’t know how to write them down lol i know im a clown. BUT HERE IT IS, thanks for your request, I hope you like it 💘.

-L

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Delicate.

Sugawara Koushi x reader.

synopsis: just morning after care with Suga, while your parents are away and you try to emulate Gordon Ramsay.

word count: 1.3 K

tags: fluff, very slightly slightly nsfw (maybe? i dunno? send help)

~~~

The sun filters through the window while you lazily open your eyes. You move your eyes through the room, looking to the boy next to you: he breathes slowly without making any noise, just like an angel.

A lock of hair slips over his eyes and you move it behind his ear, while the memories of the last night make room in your mind. A slight blush appears on your cheeks as you slowly relive the past emotions you felt just the night before with your boyfriend. You still remember the delicacy with which he brushed your skin and the sweet words and prayers whispered in your ear.

You approach slowly and leave a kiss on the tip of his nose, getting up soon after while you try not to wake him up. You grab his previously abandoned shirt from your desk and wear it, enjoying the trail of perfume that’s still on the fabric. Barefoot, you leave your room and quietly walk into the kitchen, determined to prepare breakfast for both. It’s your turn to be the romantic one.

You move through your kitchen while taking the ingredients to cook simple pancakes. Cooking is not something you do well, everyone knows that: most of the times your parents don’t even let you come near the cookers due to all the times you burnt food (water included, you still don’t know how), but you are sure that this time nothing serious will happen. You've practiced so many times with your mother to make pancakes that you’re sure you can do everything perfectly, you mean, what could go wrong?

Your house is in complete silence, the only noises come from your garden. Your parents went away, leaving you at home all alone for a couple of days to visit your grandparents. You would have gladly come with them but unfortunately this is your senior year and you have preparatory classes for college. You plan to leave Miyagi and move to Tokyo next year and your parents know it well, as much as you know how high is the level of preparation required to access: breaks from studying are not that much, but as long as it guarantees you a happy entry into the world of your dreams, you’re ready to come to compromises.

You put the batter in the fridge, just as long as the pan heats up, while you take two oranges and squeeze them to make some juice.

You get distracted for a moment thinking about what will happen to you and Koushi, if you’ll continue to be a couple or if you’ll break up. Maybe you’ll still be friends and after sole years you’ll meet again and-

You hear a thud coming from your room followed by a painful grunt and scared you immediately head towards the noise.

You lean out at the entrance of your room and all you see is a simple volleyball player wrapped in your blankets sitting on the floor, while massaging his sore head. An hearty laugh leaves your lips as you watch your boyfriend get up badly and look at you crookedly.

"There's nothing to laugh about." Suga gives you a sweet pout and you approach him smiling, carrying your arms around his back.

"You're so cute when you pout, you know?" the boy gives you a smile and hugs you back, you feel as you could melt in his arms. How can someone be so handsome in the morning as soon as he wakes up? So unfair.

"First you steal my heart and then my lines too?" he asks you and you giggle a bit.

"So cheesy!" a grin immediately appears on his face and after a few seconds you find yourself lying on the bed while Suga straddles you and begins to tickle you on your hips.

You squirm under his calloused fingers, cursing yourself for revealing your secret weeks ago while heading back home together after his practices. Despite your constant begging, Suga is determined to continue his torture, tickling your hips without giving you a break; he enjoys your laugh while you almost have tears in your eyes. You stretch your arm in an attempt to grab a pillow and pull it in his face, but he's quicker than you and he immediately understands what’s your intention: he takes your wrists and locks them behind your head.

The atmosphere becomes much hotter and your bodies feel it. Sugawara slowly comes closer to your face, almost touching your lips, his breath is blowing on your already red cheeks.

"I've had the best night of my life." He whispers in your ear. He begins leaving kisses all over your neck, stroking his nose to your already hot skin. You look him in the eyes and give him one of your best smiles, one of those that drives him crazy every time.

"I can't complain about mine too." You answer him calmly while you enjoy the sight of your hot boyfriend.

"You're so beautiful, y/n. It's a shame I didn't wake up with you still by my side." And that's exactly when you remember the pan left on the cookers.

A strange smell comes up to your room and bells start ringing in your head, while Suga raises his confused head, feeling a strange smell in the room too.

"Do you feel thi-"

You don’t give him enough time to finish the line, you immediately get up from him by dropping him to the ground once again and then run into the kitchen, turning off the gas. You open the windows, trying to get out the gas that has accumulated in your kitchen, while you wave a towel with one hand and cover your mouth with the other trying not to inhale anything. Suga comes soon after, he helps you open all the windows in the house and the door that gives onto your backyard, dragging you away from all the gas that’s in your kitchen.

"Tell me you didn't really tried to cook y/n." he looks at you with a soft smile on his face.

You know he's not angry and he's probably not going to stop teasing you for the rest of the day, but you can't help but be sad. You're not one to cry easily, but this time you can't hold back the tears and immediately your eyes get watery. You worked so hard to make just simple pancakes and you still ruined everything.

Koushi sees the tears on the sides of your eyes, there’s no need to say anything, he comes to hug you, knowing to well what’s going on.

"Hey, it's okay, it's just a little bit of gas, it happens to everyone. You don't have to act like this." He whispers to you by stroking your head and kissing your forehead, while you wrap your arms around his naked back.

"I know, but I really wanted to surprise you and show you I improved since last time." If only you hadn't been distracted...

"You don't have show me anything, I already know how perfect you are.” He whispers to you, holding you even tighter.

"And how do I make you accept sharing an apartment with me in Tokyo?" you say slowly, raising your head, as you blush once again while Suga looks at you surprised. Well, good job, now you're probably looking like the needy one. You hide your face in your boyfriend's arms once again.

"Actually, I've been thinking about it for a while... I'm glad we had the same idea." You lift your face up and look at him in amazement as he bends over you and kisses your nose tip, making you giggle.

“Even if I burn water?” he gives you another cute laugh, you feel so lucky to have him by your side.

“As long as I’m the one cooking we’ll be safe and none of us will starve. Now, would you rather sit or make breakfast with me?" he asks you softly.

"I'm helping you." You get on your tips to kiss his lips, while Suga takes your hand and drags you into the kitchen once again, this time making sure to not burn anything.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq #haiky?!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #karasuno #karasuno sugawara #karasuno x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koushi #sugawara #sugawara scenario #suga scenarios #hq sugawara

[stardancerluv]

Roman’s Lady is his Luck

Part 2c

Summary: In passion and love you are together yet Roman’s voice sometimes is a stormy cloud.

Warning: Language, Voilence, Torture, blood mentioned, sex

The man backed up. “Roman, come on. We all know that the women, you usually have are not ladies.”

Right then, Roman’s friend Bernard who had greeted the two of you showed up.

“How was the game everyone?”

“Great.” Roman, looked at the two men who came with the man. “Take him away.” He pointed to the man who insulted your presence.

“Hey, wait a second.” The man said, panic evident in his voice.

The bald man nodded. “Take him to our place. Roman and I will handle him later.” The man, then looked at the two of you. “How is the room?” A wide, toothy smile spread across his face.

Roman’s mood, finally shifted. “It is very nice.” He smiled looking at you. “We love it.”

“Perfect.”

You went over to Roman’s side. “I love it. It’s fantastic.” You echoed.

“Fantastic.”

“Y/N, were right about to check out the Mob Museum.” He squeezed your hip.

“Yes, we were. I love all that old school gangster stuff.”

“Well, you two have fun. And Roman, I’ll keep him till your ready.”

Roman smiled, “We’ll be back around six. I’ll be down after that.”

*****

“Ooo look at these!” You pointed at the Bugsy Siegel’s. Sunglasses. They reminded you of a pair sometimes, Roman would wear. Only his were much better.

“Yeah. Mine are better.” He chuckled.

“You bet they are.” Looping you arm with his, you went on to look at the next exhibits. “And you are much better looking too.” You whispered in his ear.

He smirked. “I’ve got the best moll of them all.”

You flushed. “I want to be.”

******

“Come here baby.” He pulled you close, once you were back at the suite.

“Yes, Roman.” Your arms wrapped around him.

“I’m going to go and take of that man now. What are you going to be up to?”

“I’ll go shopping.”

“I’ll come find you.” He knew how much you loved to shop, there were some wonderful stores out here. He had to meet with one of his favorite tailors out here, he mused.

You smiled. “I’d like that.” You tilted your head to one side. “Roman, are you going to kill him?”

“I might.” He grew serious, never discussed such things with anyone. Not even, Victor. “Why?” He looked at you.

“You don’t have to kill everyone who insults me.”

“The stewardess, is still alive.”

“That’s good.” As you looked down, he knew you were not challenging him. He actually felt something. No one really ever cared about his actions. “I guess.” You looked at him finally. “I don’t want you to feel you have to kill everyone who is horrible to me.”

“But I enjoy it.” He smirked. He did. He enjoyed making people squirm and pay when they crossed him.

He could hear your concern. “I just don’t want to give Bat-brain or Gordon more of a reason to go after you.”

He gave you a warm smile. He drew a finger along your jaw. “Don’t worry baby. They’re small minnows in my pond, they don’t worry me.” You concern, and knowing his prowess, he wanted you to be assured.

“When you say it like that, I guess you’re right.”

“I am.” He nodded. “Now go and get some pretty things for yourself. And I will come find you.”

******

Bernard, handed him his mask before the car came to a stop.

“I forgot kept one here in case.” He smiled as he looked at it. He slid it on, then making sure his gloves fit well, he got out of the car. “Thank you,” He looked at Victor. “Sorry to interupt your game. I know this is a vacation for you too.”

“Not a problem, boss. This asshole has to be dealt with.”

With Victor behind him, he began making his way, to the abandoned factory. Distantly, he wondered what store you were shopping at.

*****

A thrill went through you. The more you thought about it, you actually enjoyed what a powerful person in Gotham he was, and that he loved you made even more exciting.

Wandering down by the shops, you stopped and looked at the three statues. Looking past one of them you spotted one of your favorite stores. You had thought it was only in Gotham, happily you were wrong and you made your way over to it.

******

He walked in and saw the man tied up and gagged. Under the mask, his lips curled into a smile. He flinched as he neared.

“Do you know why you are here?” He asked as he reached into his pocket and took out one of his knives.

******

Once in the boutique, you went over to a rack of colorful and pretty dresses. Seeing a few in your size, you grabbed them to try one.

You also spotted a few blouses and skirts. You were in heaven. Soon, the dressing room was filled with color and several types of fabrics.

She settled on a few items before moving among several other boutiques, there was a wake of color fabrics in her wake.

*****

The man sputtered and gasped and begged. “Please, I thought I was just being honest.”

He coughed and screamed.

Roman, enjoyed seeing him squirm. “Well, you shouldn’t insult a man’s girl. It doesn’t matter who she is.”

“I...I...”

“You fucking what? You’re beginning to bore me.”

“I promise not too do it again.” He man, whimpered.

“Victor, hold this asshole down will you?” He saw an instense fear light his eyes as color continued to drain from his face. It made Roman happy. He grabbed the man by his jaw. “Oh do you, stick out your fucking tongue.”

******

Finally, you spotted a guilty pleasure. Your favorite lingerie store. Well, to be honest it was because, the first time Roman was away he bought you the most beautiful pieces from it when he bad business in London.

Maybe you could find something to wear under that dress he surprised you with.

Perhaps, something silky to go under the black silky dress. Or perhaps something with lace. So many wonderful items to pick from.

*****

Blood poured from the man’s tongue, slipping his mask off he leaned in close. “Now you will know not to let your tongue wag about another man’s girl.”

“Yes.” The man sputtered.

******

You gasped as you walked out of the dressing room and saw Roman, leaning there. “Roman!” You said excitedly and went over to him.

He smiled and held you close. “Having, fun baby?”

“Yes. I was just finishing up.” You looked around a little shy. “Would you like me to put on a little fashion show for you?” Excitement, over the idea, curled in your stomach.

He smirked. “I’d like that.”

******

*******

Finding, your mp3 player you cued up some music. You were a little shy at first but then you got into it.

As he lounged there with his shirt jacket off, excitement built in you.

A fire began to build in his eyes. “You are beautiful.” His voice was raspy. You could feel very word. They excited you.

*****

Damn, watching your curves under all those items of clothing was absolutely amazing. His heart beat with the music.

His lips curled in his excitement as he watched you. The music added to it but it was all you.

When you were finally in a little teddy. He beckoned to you. “Come here baby.”

He pulled you onto his lap. His hand slipped under the teddy to rest on your hips. He gave them a squeeze.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Yes.” You reached up and ran your fingers through your hair.

“I listened to you today.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I didn’t kill him. But he will remember to not ever act like that again.”

“Oh, Roman I don’t know what to say.” You were shocked. You’d never thought he’d listen. As it was, you were terrified about saying something earlier. It really had not been your place. But that he listened to you, honestly touched your heart.

“You were right. Sometimes a punishment can be more fun.” He smirked. “You can kiss me.”

As your small hand laid on his cheek, he closed his eyes for a moment as he did he then felt your lips. He repressed the sound that came frlm

He moved fast making you gasp and pulling a soft sound from you as he now was over you.

“I can’t wait. I want you.”

“I’m yours.”

He made quick moves and opening his slacks, he easily took himself out. “Oh, that is my girl.” When he saw you had not slipped on any panties.

Bracing himself on the armrest, he entered you. A moan poured from his lips which mingled with yours.

He loved the feel of your legs as they wrapped around his waist almost as much as being deep with you.

“Baby.” He breathed, as your fingers were deep in his hair.

*****

Your teddy rested on your hips as you curled up to him on the sofa. You pressed a kiss on his cheek. Delighting, in the light touch of scruff.

“I’m glad you enjoyed my little show.”

He turned his head to smile at you, “I did. I could barely control myself.”

You flushed and hid your face into his shoulder.

@darling-i-read-it @spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @nebulastarr @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @nomnomnomnamja @poe-kadot26 @top-rumbelle-fan @babydoll97 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @rosionis @queenofgotham800 @brookisbi @peachthatdrinkslemonade @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @rentskenobi @starwarsslytherin @proffesionalclown @chogisss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @pooshnulooshnu

#roman sionis x you #roman sionis imagine #roman sionis smut #roman sionis x reader #roman sionis fanfiction #roman sionis x y/n #bop #birds of prey #black mask #black mask x y/n #black mask fanfiction #black mask x you #black mask x reader #roman’s lady is his luck #ewan mcgregor #part 2c

[captain-danwilds]

Too Broken for A Fox: Janie Smalls

I know I have a bad habit of falling for minor characters, but my heart just aches for Janie Smalls. It’s probably because she’s the Fox with the trauma most similar to mine that even though we know next to nothing about her, I have lots of feelings about Janie Smalls. (And yeah there’s potentially triggering things so mind the tags. Recovery Focus, but still proceed with caution)

It’s easy for her teammates to think everything’s fine.

Their captain is going to be playing for a division 1 school.

It’s Palmetto so only barely division 1, but still.

Janie actually smiles when Coach Wilmer announces the recruitment to them.

And they can count the number of times she’s smiled on one hand.

But even as Janie prepares for graduation, prepares for the life she’s worked for since she was eight and first picked up a racket, she knows she’s not fine.

It starts slowly at first.

Picking scabs before they’re healed, pressing bruises, driving less cautiously, rubbing the scars on her thigh from sophomore year.

She knows she should be happy. She’s got everything she could ever hope for.

But that’s it really, what is supposed to happen now? What happens when you’ve spent half your life working to get to this point (and the other half not believing you’d live this long anyway?)

The future is vast and intimidating.

“But it’s happy change.” Her mother whispers as she’s smooths down Janie’s hair. “Aren’t you excited?”

The pit growing in her stomach doesn’t feel like excitement.

Exy is an escape.

It’s always been an escape.

The Fairview Royals have been how she outran her troubles, outlived the thoughts in her head.  

Because if she can just keep scoring, she’s worth something.

But then the season ends and she’s no longer a Royal and not yet a Fox.  

Then they find her bleeding.

And she’s too broken to be a Fox.

Too broken to do anything really.  Because what does she have left if she doesn’t have Exy?  

The team sends a card and Janie only barely resists tearing it to shreds. 

She rolls her eyes at the goal keeper’s pretty words about how Janie will get through this, but she adds Renee’s number to her phone anyway.  

There’s a sick sort of joy in the pit of her stomach when she hears about Seth Gordon’s overdose.

She isn’t the only one who couldn’t handle it, handle living.

I mean objectively she knows. It’s not like she was in the hospital alone, didn’t attend group therapy alone.

But this is different.

Her suicide attempt had been called typical of a Fox on every platform that followed College Exy (and quite a few that didn’t.)

Seth’s death completely overshadows it.

She wasn’t really a Fox yet. He played for four years.

Janie’s no longer the face of too broken to make it.

She should probably hate Neil Josten for taking her spot.

For coming out of nowhere, Arizona with one year of experience on a team that didn’t even make playoffs, and taking her spot.

Her therapist thinks she’s being very mature that she doesn’t.

It’s easy to shrug the complement away. It’s not like she can use it when she hasn’t been allowed on a court in months.

But she sees herself in how Josten plays.

In those moments she steals when the nurses think she isn’t there to watch games in case it triggers her.   

They have very different styles, his built on speed and instinct, hers on precision.

It’s the desperation that ties them together.

The way the court is the only thing that seems worth living for.

The slight madness in his eyes that says I play Exy or I’m nothing.

She’s nothing now.

But she’s learning how to be something.

Even if it makes her feel like she’s breaking apart all over again.

Still she sits in therapy, colors an almost comical amount of pictures, blows bubbles just to be able to destroy something that isn’t herself.

And things get better.

When the foxes make the spring playoff season, she smiles a genuine smile that makes one of her favorite nurse’s cry.  

After she’s out of the hospital and the constant vigilance of her mother’s concerned eyes, Janie goes back to her high school Exy court.  

One of the younger players lets her in after practice and doesn’t ask too many questions.  

She just sits in the middle of the court.  There’s no one around, but the memory of the sheer energy on game day is enough.  

It’s not the first time Janie cries about exy and it won’t be the last, but there’s no longer a jaded feeling in the pit of her stomach.  

She wants to be better, to live, and that’s so much bigger than just Exy.  

Janie has other things to live for now. Things that make her heart jump more than scoring on a particular skilled opponent.  

But she still loves Exy.

So Janie picks up her racket again and bounces the ball off of the Rec Center wall between therapy sessions.  

As she lifts weights or goes on runs, Janie tells herself it’s because the doctors recommended it, not because she feels the need to whip her body back into shape after months of trying to only get through the day even if that meant never leaving bed.

She just wants to feel like her body’s her own again. 

And her body, the small voice in Janie’s head whispers, is meant to carry her through an Exy game and shove away even the largest of backliners.  

Her friends and parents purposely avoid talking about the Foxes even as the new rookie causes trouble left and right or Kevin Day nonchalantly creates the largest conspiracy the sport has ever seen.  They don’t know she has all their news alerts set up on her phone. 

When the Foxes make the finals, Janie is the one to announce it to them by covering the house in an obnoxious amount of orange paper paw prints.   

And when they win, she cries.  

Maybe they think that she’s mourning the fact that she should have been there, should have been part of the underdog team that finally brought the Ravens down.  

But she isn’t.  

It’s more the fact that they did it.  The foxes beat the unbeatable.  

And for the first time in forever, Janie Smalls feels like a Fox. 

Her victory isn’t touted over the news, isn’t the topic of podcasts and already slated to be next decade’s feel good sports movie. 

But Janie’s alive and she’s determined to be for a long time. And for a long time, that felt unimaginable.  

Janie calls Renee to offer her congratulations.  Even after all this time, she kept the number.  It’s a small thing, showing joy for the girl who had faith in her when few did.  

Janie doesn’t expect their conversation to mean much.  

Doesn’t expect it to continue for months. 

Or for Renee to casually slip in how the ERC expects Coach Wymack to drastically increase the size of the team.  

It feels like a sign Janie didn’t even know she was waiting for.  

She doesn’t tell Renee when she films a practice session with her best friend and sends it in with doctor’s notes.  

Or the voicemail she leaves in the middle of the night on Wymack’s phone because she doesn’t think she can state her case if he’s actually listening in real time. 

“You wanted me once.  And I’ve only gotten better since then.  You’d be a fool to pass me over now Coach.”  

Maybe she’s convincing.  Maybe they’re desperate. 

Maybe it’s just because Coach Wymack believes in giving more chances than what anyone else wanted to give you. 

But the following year, Janie Smalls is officially a Fox.  

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #Janie Smalls #suicidal ideation #suicide tw #depression #cutting #mental illness #suicide attempt #Neil Josten #Seth Gordon #Recovery #The Foxes #Also Am I writing this instead of my Nano Project? #Yes procrastination is real #what else is new? #Also I do not accept Janie slander in my household. #She's only mentioned like three times in the series. #But I will still protect her

[cryptidshuffle]

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke?  For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately.  ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

#fanfic #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #freelatta

[bubbyleh]

Equal Standing - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Year 98

Gordon and Coomer are by the Viewing Pool, in the middle of one of their weekly coffee meetings when Tommy returns from Earth. He’s waving a newspaper in one of his hands, as if he were a paperboy, with an excited grin across his face.

“Mr. Freeman! Mr. Coomer! You- you guys won’t believe this!” He throws the newspaper down on the picnic blanket between the two of them. Coomer places his coffee down and picks it up. “I remember these guys praying to me and I- and I thought they would need a lot of help! But they did it! They found it!”

“Found what?” Gordon asks.

Coomer clears his throat, and begins to read. “A team of anteologists from across the world, known for their breakthroughs in the study of precursor civilizations, have made headway in their field by being the first to uncover ruins of the city known as Mesa- Ah!” He cuts himself off, eyes lighting up. “Mesa! That’s where Bubby and I are from! What a lovely town that was...”

“Oh! It’s your home?” Tommy takes a seat next to Coomer. “Maybe if- if it opens to the public, we can visit sometime!”

Gordon takes the paper from Coomer and begins reading on his own. To be honest, he wasn’t familiar with quite a few of the words he heard.

“Well, Bubby and I haven’t lived there since we were in our thirties…” Coomer thinks for a moment. “But it is where we met, so perhaps a trip down would be worth it!”

Gordon squints at the article. “Uh, guys? What’s a precursor civilization?”

Tommy stares blankly at him, while Coomer shakes his head. “Goodness, are they teaching children anything at all down there?”

“Wh- hey! I am not representative of all mortal education!” Gordon counters. “Look, I know schools in frontier towns weren’t that great, but they taught me what I needed!”

Tommy interjects, “Not- not history.”

“Maybe they would have! I don’t know,” Gordon sighs, his head falling to rest on his upright knee. “I had to drop out when I was eleven because of family. The town doctor slipped me books when he could, but… I kinda wish I stayed.”

Coomer places a finger on his chin. “Perhaps we could put on a school for you, Gordon. We could catch you up on everything we think you should have learned about!” He laughs to himself. “We haven’t had a school since Tommy was a child.”

Tommy flaps his hands a little bit. “Oh! Yes! That’d be really- really fun!” Wow, Tommy, a God whose domain partially involves knowledge, wanting to teach people? Who would have thought?

But, thinking about it, a few lessons wouldn’t be a bad idea. Gordon would be lying if he said he hasn’t bullshitted his way through a few conversations in the past, and some part of him does ache to return to a learning environment.

“What do you say, Gordon?” Coomer jolts him from his thoughts.

“Yes.” He doesn’t need to think twice about it. “I think I’d like that a lot.”

◇☆◇

They don’t arrange an actual classroom, which is fine. In fact, Gordon’s grateful for it, going all out with desks and a chalkboard would have been extremely patronizing. Instead, they sit around one of the few nice common areas, like the garden. Gordon will listen to Coomer or Tommy ramble, taking notes if he needs to, Bubby’s mostly there to loudly proclaim when someone is wrong, and Benrey…

“I have a question,” Gordon asks on their first day.

“Go ahead, Gordon!” Coomer encourages him.

Gordon points at Benrey. “What’s he doing here?”

For a moment, Coomer seems to struggle to find an answer. “I did warn him that he might not like today’s subject matter,” he admits. “But Benrey has every right to be present for this history lesson, even if he did live through it.”

“Hell yeah,” Benrey cheers. “Gonna make, uh, macaroni art! Preschool stuff!”

“Today, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy redirects the conversation. “Since you asked, we’re- we’re going to talk about precursor civilizations. Mr. Coomer’s going to tell you about what they were like, and I’m- I’m going to tell you a history of recent discoveries!”

Coomer’s lecture is pretty interesting, considering it’s based more on his memory than any actual research. He stumbles a few times, which Bubby is quick to pick up on, but for the most part, life back then seemed… normal?

Gordon notices that sometimes, whenever Coomer mentions an invention of some kind, Tommy will remark that it’s still used on Earth. Which doesn’t make sense, because Gordon doesn’t remember ever listening to a CD player, or even hearing about one before?

“I don’t get it,” Gordon interrupts Coomer and Bubby’s tangent about how much a different city’s soccer team sucked. “If these civilizations were so advanced that we’re only now recreating what they had, then… what happened?”

Coomer and Bubby go silent, contrasting the fact that Tommy is looking at them with a hope that can only be described as worn down. And Gordon realizes this is almost like a routine.

Benrey doesn’t answer either. He silently draws his knees to his chest, attempting to hide his face behind them. But Gordon can still see his eyes, distant and glassy.

Gordon will never admit it, but he feels a twinge of pity for Benrey. Makes him want to reach out and comfort him, and he has to remind himself that Benrey doesn’t deserve it.

Coomer breaks the tension. “Tommy, why don’t you tell us about the researchers? I’m curious.”

Tommy sighs, and even his dejection looks old. Truthfully, Gordon doesn’t hear much of what he says, because whatever the hell just happened weighs heavily on his mind. Just the way that Coomer ignored his question, Benrey’s obvious fear…

“But- But this is interesting, Gordon!” Tommy saying his name brings him back to the present. “This guy has the same last name as you.”

“Really?” Freeman wasn’t that common of a name, he thought. He could only think of a few other people who had it, and all of them were his family.

Tommy nods, enthusiastic. “I was looking at the- at the dates, and anteology didn’t really take off until a few years after you. Uh. Came here.” Well, nice of him to avoid saying he died. “So it makes sense you didn’t know about it. But it’s all thanks to this guy, John Freeman!”

Gordon feels his polite smile drop in an instant.

“Did you… did you just say John?”

“Yeah! He’s- uh,” Tommy puts the puzzle pieces together in real time. “He… oh shit. You- you had family, didn’t you?”

Fuck, how old was John when Gordon left home? Ten? Could it really be him?

"Do you have a picture?" Gordon asks, and he knows if it is it's going to hurt him so bad. But he has to know if it's John, see if he grew up.

Tommy turns to the stack of textbooks he brought with him. "Oh, I think- in here," he mumbles as he flips through the pages of one. "Right! Here!" He slides the book over to Gordon.

The picture is tucked neatly into the corner, and there's no doubt anymore. That's Gordon's brother, he'd recognize that mess of dark hair anywhere. Their chins, their mother had always said they had the same chin.

Alongside the picture is a brief description of the life of John Freeman. Most of it is about his academic career, but there are few sentences dedicated to his early life.

When Freeman was six, his mother passed away from pneumonia. His sister, only eleven, dropped out of school to support John as he continued his education.

"Is that- is that him, Mr. Freeman?" Tommy speaks up.

Fuck, Gordon’s eyes are getting watery. "Yeah, that's… my little brother. That's John." He pushes some hair out of his face, fully crying now. "They um, they got some things wrong."

It's been over one hundred years since Gordon last saw his brother. There's no way he's still alive. Gordon died, and John lived. And now John is dead and Gordon is…

Here.

Gordon feels a pair of arms wrap around, then another, and finally a third pair. Tommy, Coomer, and even Bubby are there, and they have them, and they're his family.

And on the fringes, Gordon spots Benrey, who freezes when he's spotted. The expression on his face is unreadable.

But Gordon thinks he looks afraid.

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #my writing #gordos freeman #hlvrai gods au #equal standing

[fractualized]

I tried to respond to this with a “read more” cut that didn’t work, but I made the mistake of adding some HTML editing, and I didn’t realize deleting the post to try again would DELETE THE MESSAGE? Super cool website. Luckily I still had the ask in another tab for a screenshot.

ANYWAY, I’ve only gotten a few asks, actually, but this is many in one! And this took me a while because when it comes to writing I don’t know when to shut up!

The first question is interesting for a Telltale game, because the player chooses what Bruce does, so the answer could easily be whatever YOU like about John that makes you want to treat him more like a person than a tool. Then again, the times when you can make choices are limited, as are the actual choices (see: no opportunity to contact John post lab attack), plus Bruce does have reactions you can’t control. So his character is whatever blend results from the writing and the player.

But we’re specifically talking about the shipping-friendly scenarios! So let’s forget the meta and just assume the player makes the non-jerkass choices with John. Points are in the order they occurred to me.

>>>>>

1) John’s “light outside of Arkham” speech comes to mind first of course. The first time I watched that monologue and the camera switched to Bruce, I realized he and I had the same expression. Interactions with John are largely off-beat, and what he says about the lights still is given that it’s centered around an asylum, but it’s also very earnest and honest. It’s a very humanizing moment that makes clear that John’s attachment to Harley is very real.

I recognize that that is jarley-centric, but a) I don’t subscribe to the idea that John is actually talking about Bruce in this scene and b) that said, I think it still extends to Bruce. John is expressing genuine attachment to a person he admires and seeks guidance from (and sees as attractive), after all. His vulnerability should only emphasize to Bruce the importance of taking him seriously.

2) John is very open with Bruce immediately, starting at Lucius’s funeral. When John talks about being “the new guy” on the outside, it’s very sympathetic, even if you think John is actively playing for that sympathy to get Bruce to help him. Both things can be true. (I imagine this is a tactic he used in Arkham.) Later you get the sense that if John tried to talk to Harley about wanting to retreat to the asylum, she’d probably make fun of him.

John is up front with Bruce constantly, and that can be difficult not to reciprocate at least to some degree.

3) Speaking of the funeral, I think the fact that John brings a card calls for the “thoughtful” option. It is the wrong kind of card, and you wouldn’t normally give one to nonfamily of the deceased at the funeral, and if you’re going to do it anyway I guess you should also bring one for the family, buuuuuuuuuut I can see Bruce appreciating that John tried. And you know what? Telltale wrote that scene with no option to tell John to wait to talk to you OUTSIDE, which is what anybody on earth would do when someone arrived uninvited to a funeral and one of the main facts you know about them is that they happily knifed a guy, so we’re left to assume that Bruce finds John THAT intriguing.

4) When John says he likes Batman, Bruce has this proud little look on his face. “Hell yeah, you think Batman is cool!” He seems too pleased to hear it to think of John as just a game piece.

Jumping back to the coffee date, Bruce also has that semi-sheepish proud little shrug when John tells him how well he’s doing impersonating Harley. Bruce is having more fun in that scene the longer it goes, and probably wishes it really was just a casual conversation with a friend.

5) And related to that, Bruce has multiple opportunities to advise John about Harley (and, really, about how to behave appropriately in general). I don’t think Bruce puts in that effort if he doesn’t feel for John, in how he’s new to… almost everything. Also, to Bruce, the chances of John ending up back in Arkham or in prison must be HIGH, yet he puts in that effort anyway.

6) Taking the time to train John to throw a batarang seems like a little much to keep a good contact happy. Why waste precious laptop hacking time if not because you want to do your little buddy another favor? Also, if you so choose, why GIVE HIM ONE OF YOUR WEAPONS? Just… you don’t do that for someone you don’t like, or for someone you don’t think could be reliable help in combat later.

7) We don’t see Bruce laugh that often in the game, but I think he thinks John is funny. No way Bruce reflects on the shadow puppet scene later and doesn’t at least crack a smile at the idea of Gordon having that mustache as a baby.

8) John saves Bruce’s life multiple times. There’s rescuing him from the Arkham attack in Season 1, and then there’s triggering the EMP generator before Bane decides to kill him, as well as saving his butt from either Freeze or Bane in the virus storage area depending if you threw Catwoman under the bus or not. (If you didn’t, maybe John doesn’t get Bruce out of the ice machine back at Old Five Points, but his attempt to stand up to Harley is a pretty big deal for him.)

John will also save Bruce at certain quick time events, like if Bruce doesn’t duck when you’re with the Pact in the incinerator. You gotta like someone who helps keep you alive.

>>>>>

I tried to stay pre-funhouse, because narratively, that seems like the point where “this person is my friend” should be locked in, whether you tell John you believe him or not. I’m sure I’m forgetting moments since I haven’t played in a while, but I’ve listed enough to demonstrate that the writers provide ample opportunity for a friendship to form.

When it comes to romantic love, though, I’m not sure there’s a definitive moment, especially given the situation Bruce is in. He knows he cares about John, but I think he might need downtime (relative downtime for Batman, so like quiet cave research time) to realize he feels something more. So maybe in the couple weeks before Vigilante Joker’s debut, Bruce realizes he’s not just worried about where John is with the virus, but he really misses his eccentric pal. Or maybe it takes longer and happens post game when he visits John in Arkham, and has time to reflect on what John said about wanting Bruce’s love, not to mention the brief but memorable experience of having John as a partner. (Instant combat coordination! What!)

Now if we’re talking Villain Joker, the whole “I did love you” speech at their final confrontation indicates that Bruce realized his feelings before that. (I mean, people can still interpret that line as nonromantic love, but… come on.) Which seems odd, given that John and Harley started running around offing people by the hundreds, buuuuut that just makes me think it was the fact that John ran off with Harley and abandoned any of Bruce’s influence that made Bruce realize sooner how attached he felt.

(And maybe also that John made out with Harley right in front of him. I know that scene upsets some people, but it just made me laugh. Every single thing John does in the villain scenario is to get under Bruce’s skin, so I just thought, “Are you trying to make him jealous?? dkjfalshgalgha”)

As for BPD, it certainly matches up with a lot of John’s behavior. Honestly, though, fleshing out John’s particular diagnoses is not something I’ve focused on. It was part of a whole load of research I did on mental health care overall, but I just sort of blend what I’ve retained with trying to keep John consistent with his game portrayal. I don’t have substantial experience with mental health care so my personal comfort with representing him as having anything specific is looowwwww.

#ask #telltale batman #john doe #bruce wayne #batjokes #thoughts

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - ch2

Ok, I’m already regretting setting myself the art challenge.  It’s hard.  Huge kudos to all you artists out there.  Still, the clue for me should have been in the word ‘challenge’.  No, I don’t know why Alan’s hand is a different colour to the rest of him and shading features is pretty much impossible.  Maybe by the end of the fic I’ll have got the hang of it.  I might have to pick and easier idea for the next chapter

Huge thanks to @willow-salix​ for all the read throughs and pointers.

Earlier parts: One

Chapter Two

The early light of dawn was just visible around the curtain edges in the lounge.  The reflected light off the large screen projection illuminated the figures staring avidly at the screen with a soft blue glow.  The occasion had been deemed worthy of setting up the large cinematic screen meaning the whole glittering spectacle filled nearly a whole wall of the generously proportioned room.

 Jeff sat back in an aged leather armchair shipped specially from Kansas.  The form of it had moulded to his body by the passage of many years although he rarely had time to relax in it now.  Across the room Virgil and John, both on vacation from university, book-ended the sofa; a sleek designer affair that manged to combine both style and comfort.  Both looked sleepy and a little unfocussed.  Virgil had never been a fan of early mornings and it was entirely possible that John hadn’t actually made it to bed yet if he had spent the night engrossed in the stars.  His youngest son, still a child and growing into his talents, sat on the floor leaning back against the sofa rather than sitting on the chair itself.  In Alan’s hands was a cup of popcorn chosen especially for the cinematic treat.  He sat there in rapt awe, barely blinking as he popped piece after piece of white fluff into his mouth.  Jeff nursed his own mug of inky black coffee.  The aroma of the beans filling the space around him with a rich warmth.

 At last the moment they had been waiting for arrived.  Team USA marched into shot; processing around a stadium half a world and many time zones away.  Ranks of the chosen few strode across the screen in all their athletic glory.  The athletes were bedecked in pristine white trousers and shirts topped with navy blue blazers.  Red trim to the lapels completed the patriotic ensemble.   The young men and women chosen to represent their country trailed behind the flag bearer, their lines arranged with military precision. Jeff rather thought the effect was spoiled by the individuals walking out of step with each other and waving to the crowd in the surrounding stadium.  It jarred with his Air Force history which much preferred the uniformity of troops marching smartly in time.

 A squeal broke through his internal criticism of the scene.

 “There he is! There he is!”

 Alan’s voice, still high pitched in its youth, filled the space with an exuberant joy. The cup of popcorn was tilting dangerously towards the floor as the youngest of five spotted his next in line.

 The fourth Tracy son crossed the screen and disappeared out of sight in a matter of seconds and Jeff was forced to pause, rewind and replay the footage several times before Alan had got his fill of the sight.  

Gordon looked happy.  Happier than he had done for weeks.  Happy didn’t do justice to the beaming, grinning individual with sandy blonde hair slightly tinted by chlorine who strode between his fellow countrymen and women. He seemed to bounce along, riding the waves of the atmosphere that swirled around the stadium.  

 Jeff had seen little of his second youngest son lately despite technically living in the same house.  Both had demanding schedules; one filled with work and business meetings, the other filled with school and pool training.  The moment school had finished Gordon had been whisked away to the pre-games training camp, missing both his high school graduation ceremony and the senior prom. The young man on the screen was almost a stranger and definitely an enigma to him.

 Jeff’s eldest three sons were of a mind-set he could understand.  They were studious, clever, indeed highly gifted in their chosen fields.  He had been immensely proud when Scott had been accepted to Yale and then followed him down his own career path into the Air Force.  The young man was making quite a name for himself in the service if the regular updates sent through by old colleagues were to be believed; he had already been promoted to First Lieutenant and it looked like he would soon be a Captain.  Virgil excelled in engineering but also retained a quiet compassion that allowed him to see the world as more than just a set of variables and constants to be manipulated.  John had followed him to the stars and Jeff had no doubt that his quietest son could follow him out of Earth’s atmosphere and beyond just a theoretical study of space travel if he so desired.

 Gordon was evidently gifted too but in a direction he couldn’t quite comprehend. Physical ability was a facet he appreciated and even John had submitted to his requirement for regular structured exercise.  But a strong body needed to be a vessel for a keen mind and Gordon just hadn’t shown any particular leanings towards an academic field.

 He was as proud as any father could be that a son of his had reached the Olympics and at such a young age but he still worried for his son’s future prospects.    

 A sigh from the floor broke through his contemplations.

 “I wish we could have been there for the opening ceremony.”

 “Now Alan, we’ve been through this.  Gordon’s heats don’t start for another week.  I’ve got us tickets to his events and we will be there to see him compete in person but I just cannot spare the time to take you out there for the whole duration of the Games.”

 “But Virgil could have taken me.  Or John.” The voice was a petulant whine now.

 “Virgil and John might be on summer break but they both still have work to do.  The last thing either of them need is to be responsible for you at the biggest international sporting event in the world. Watching sport has never been your thing before.  It’s normally hard enough to prise you away from those video games you play.”

 Both Virgil and John looked infinitely relieved that neither of them was expected to be responsible for an excitable young teenager in a foreign country.  It was bad enough taking him bowling or to the cinema. Alan seemed to be well and truly gripped by Olympic fever, hence them all watching the live coverage of the opening ceremony at some hideous time of the morning rather than watching a recording at a more socially acceptable hour.  It seemed to mean so much to their youngest brother to get the chance to watch out for Gordon live that they hadn’t had the heart to refuse.  It was just as well Gordon had had his few seconds of glory on screen otherwise Alan would have been beyond devastated not to have seen him.  

 “But it’s the Olympics.  And it’s Gordon.”  As if this explained everything.

 “And you will get to see Gordon compete in every race he is in when we fly out next week. Even Scott has managed to arrange some leave so he can join us.  Gordon will be well supported.”

 Alan huffed slightly in response but went back to staring at the screen, the popcorn once again being shovelled in as figures from all nations strode across in a seemingly never ending stream of competitors.

 Once it became clear that Team USA would not be making another appearance Virgil and John sloped off.  Virgil to reclaim his bed, John to find his for the first time that sleep cycle having reverted to a near nocturnal pattern without classes to drag him away from his beloved stars.  Both had willingly joined the spectators in the lounge but the time difference left a lot to be desired and both were exhausted after a long and difficult semester. Jeff followed after but for him the destination was to work rather than bed.  Alan was soon left to watch the conclusion of the carefully choreographed spectacle alone.

 xoxoxox

 Virgil padded towards the kitchen, he socks making no sound on the hardwood floor. He could almost forget that there was anyone else in the apartment.  He had barely seen his brothers all day and Jeff was still at the office.  John had spent much of the day sleeping after grumbling that the city skies really hadn’t been worth staying up for.  He assumed Alan was engrossing in another gaming session. Part of him wondered if he ought to have a word with their dad; his youngest brother seemed to spend an unhealthy amount of time hooked up to a console.

 He paused at Alan’s door, taking a moment to take in the view through the crack. Rather than being strapped into a VR headset as expected, Alan was instead sprawled on his bed.  A screen was propped up on his knees.  The murmured one sided conversation suggested a video call rather than another game.  He wasn’t normally one to eavesdrop but curiosity overcame Virgil as he wondered who on earth Alan could be talking to.  He didn’t talk about any particular school friends and beyond Grandma they had no family to speak of.  He stayed to one side of the doorway out of sight and listened.  If he stood absolutely still he could just about pick up the other voice on the line.

 “The stadium looked huge.  What was it like?  Did you get some photos for me?”

 “Yeah, it’s massive.  Kinda makes be glad I’m not in the track and field events.  No photos though, we couldn’t take cameras in to the opening ceremony.  We didn’t even get to see the show afterwards, just lots of waiting around to go in then straight back to the Village after.  You probably saw more than I did.”

 Gordon then. He figured it must already be the next morning for their absent athlete.

 “Aww. We saw you, y’know.  Who was the cute blonde you were next to?”

 Virgil smirked.  For all he might bounce like an excited puppy Alan was evidently growing up and the hormones were kicking up.

 “Which one? Amber the high jumper or Brad the hockey player?”

 “Amber, I’ll leave Brad to you.  Think you can introduce me when we’re over there?”

 “No chance. Firstly, she already has a long term boyfriend.  And secondly, you’re about five years too young for that sort of stuff.”

 “Hey, I’m not that young.  Not that you’d think it the way things go round here.  There’s something going on and Dad won’t tell me about it.  Since John and Virgil got back Dad keeps having meetings with them in the study.”

 “Rather them than me.  You know as well as I do the study only means bad news.”

 “I don’t think so.  And since when has John ever been chewed out over anything.  It’s not like he ever missed curfew or turned in a bad report card. I don’t know what’s going on but this place is full of secrets.  They all just treat me as a kid though, like I wouldn’t understand.”

 “Try not to worry about it Al.  Why don’t you get John to help you finish that sim you were coding?”

 “Maybe. He just seems so busy though.”

 “Look, I’ve got to go, I’ve got training soon.  I’ll try and call same time tomorrow if that works for you.”

 “Sure.”

 “Don’t forget to eat your vegetables and clean your teeth.”

 “Yes Mom. Now don’t you need to go put some water wings on.”

 “Cheeky brat. Speak to you tomorrow.  Bye.”

 “Bye Gordo.”

 Virgil watched as the screen was put to one side, the smile sliding off of Alan’s face, before continued his journey to the kitchen to grab a drink.  That brief conversation with Gordon was more words than he had heard out of his youngest sibling in one go since he had arrived back home.  He had put it down to sullen teenage moods but evidently Alan could be quite chatty when he wanted to.

 Alan was clearly missing Gordon.  The youngest two had always been close.  Despite Gordon technically being closer in age to John than Alan the sibling friendship pairings hadn’t worked out that way.  Virgil realised how little he knew about the youngest pair beyond Gordon’s swimming.  Since when had Alan been able to code simulations? And what sort of simulations?

 He shrugged it off as a conundrum for another day.  They would be flying out to the Olympics in just a few days and he wanted to get a project plan sent off to his supervisor before that happened.  The meetings with Jeff, which Alan had evidently picked up on, had changed the direction of his post-grad project and he wanted to get the revisions in before travelling.  Bonding time could happen once the work was completed.

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #high expectations #my art #Olympics #Gordon Tracy #Jeff Tracy

[ben-solo98]

I can’t believe anyone at Warner Bros thought it was a good idea to release the theatrical version of JUSTICE LEAGUE when this version exists. I’m glad Zack was allowed to come back and show us his true vision. It could just be the 4 hour runtime, but it feels like an epic from the classic days of Hollywood. I really like Zack Snyder, I think he's a visionary director. I also think he's overpraised and overhated at the same time. He has a very vocal and passionate fanbase who think he's a god of cinema and then there's an equally vocal group of people who think he's one of the worst things to ever happen to movies. I like him a reasonable amount. Even if I don't always love his movies in their entirety, he's puts some of the most beautiful visuals on screen that I've ever seen, especially in the comic book movie genre. He also made me appreciate Superman, I've loved superheroes my entire life, but I was mostly into Marvel when I was a kid and when I did venture over to DC it was primarily for Batman, couldn't care less about Superman. Boring. Until I sat in a packed theater in June of 2013 to watch MAN OF STEEL in IMAX 3D and Zack Snyder (and everyone else involved) blew my mind and finally made me understand/appreciate the character of Superman. I'll even defend that Kevin Costner death scene, I don't care. Supes is only a small part of this film, but all of the scenes featuring him and/or the supporting characters from his solo ouing were some of my favorites, because of what Zack and the cast (especially Henry Cavill) had set up in the previous two films, but also because it was usually underlined by Hans Zimmer's amazing Superman theme.

On paper, the story is very similar to the theatrical version, but it feels like a completely different film. I didn't hate the theatrical cut when it first came out, but it definitely felt like it was nowhere near what it could have been and the more time that has passed and more we've learned about the controversies behind the scenes of those reshoots, the more problems I've found myself having with it. There's a different tone to this cut and while it's still not a perfect film, it's executed 1,000 times better. There's only about 4 or 5 scenes that I think are exactly the same and obviously since this movie is twice as long it's mostly new footage. My two favorite scenes from the theatrical version were Wonder Woman's entrance and the History of the Mother Boxes. Both scenes were still present here, but they were extended, more brutal and all around more awesome. Which just proves you gotta let Zack complete his vision, he knows what he's doing. It also proves that most of what was likable about the last one was because of Zack. Ray Fisher as Cyborg was a big highlight for me the last time around. Another character I didn't really care about until I saw his portrayal of him, which really says something about how great of an actor he is because he's been very vocal about how he was mistreated making that version of the movie, plus his role wasn't nearly as significant, but he still came out as one of the only really great things about that film. He's even better here, we get some much needed backstory on his character and next to Superman, he's kind of the heart and soul of the movie, it all falls apart without him. And it's refreshing to see a black character like this portrayed in such a positive way, I'm certainly not an expert on the subject, but I couldn't help but think that we don't really get to see black men cry much on screen. I really hope this isn't the last time we see him take on this role.

Ezra Miller as the Flash is a big step up as well, I didn't hate their interpretation in the last film, but the Flash was definitely my least favorite character. Wasn't ever excited about the character's upcoming solo film until now, my mind has been changed. Ezra Miller is a very solid Barry Allen and brings some much needed humor to the table. His powers are also fully utilized here, that's the thing about this cut of the movie, every character gets their moment to shine. I still think this film was lacking in the Aquaman department, there's some continuity issues between this movie and his stand alone feature. Mainly that we're introduced to two supporting players from his film and they feel like completely different characters. All of my Aquaman problems happen in the first half, I still thought Jason Momoa did a great job. I'm one of the few people (maybe the only person) who's been a Batfleck fan since the day they announced Ben was cast in the role, it's a shame we'll never get to see him in any Batman solo movies, I was really looking forward to that. J.K. Simmons is only in two scenes as Commissioner Gordon, but I want like 5 Batman films with him reprising his role. There's actually a few big actors who were in the first one and I didn't know why they agreed to do it and they don't get much more screen time here, but they actually feel crucial to the story. Also Jeremy Irons is an underrated Alfred, I think Jeremy Irons is just underrated period.

Steppenwolf is definitely a worthy villain this time around. I don't know why Joss Whedon decided to change his design or his motives/backstory, or why you'd completely cut out Darkseid, but that sucked, this was good. Occasionally he'd say something that made him sound like a bad guy from an 80s cartoon or old video game, but overall it was good.

Tom Holkenborg's score is phenomenal. Danny Elfman did it for the other one, I usually like him, but Tom's works a lot better. And some of Danny's comments make it seem like he has a really big ego and Tom's have made me feel the opposite. Almost everytime Wonder Woman came on screen this female warrior cry/siren song (I don't know how else to describe it) would play, at first I thought it was cool, but after 4 hours it got old. That's my only criticism about the score. There were a few "strange" music choices, Zack is known for those, sometimes I think he just does it because he likes to troll the haters, I respect it regardless. But, the last film had two covers recorded for it I really liked: "Everybody Knows" by Sigrid and "Come Together" by Gary Clarke Jr. (Which I've been on record saying it's "better than the Beatles' version"). I missed those songs a little, but also, not a big deal, ultimately.

I thought the 4 hour runtime would be way too long, but honestly, it worked. Nothing felt unnecessary, the story flowed at a reasonable pace. Sure, you could have probably cut out the last twenty minutes because it gives the film 3 or 4 different endings that just set up future films that will probably never happen now (I hope I'm proven wrong), but as a fan, I loved those scenes. I'm looking forward to see what happens and if anything good in the realm of DC films comes of releasing this. 8.6/10.

#thesnydercut #ForAutumn #JusticeLeague #moviereview

[magnumdays]

My Favorite to Least Favorite Episodes of Magnum PI Season 2 So Far

I know no one asked for this but I was rating the episodes in my head for a post-Christmas re-watch and I thought I might as well write it out and share... 

(I also just wanted a reason to look at some of all the amazing Miggy gifts from this season!)

Nr. 1

2x01 - Payback for Beginners

I loved the premier. It had all my favorite things. Fun case with a bit of a twist, Magnum & Higgings banter, some fun snark from Rick and TC and just an all-around good and fun feeling. Possibly because it’s the first episode of the season (I always get flashbacks to how excited I was for season 2 when watching it!) or just because it was awesome. Both are equally possible. Also, the Miggy was strong with this one, always a bonus! 

Nr. 2

2x09 - A Bullet Named Fate

This episode, where Harry gets shot, we got Magnum and Higgy following his tracks and then finding out about the kidnapped girl. I just enjoy the shit out of it. I’m not sure exactly why because I didn’t love it as much the first time around but on the re-watches, it has really grown on me and is now one of my faves.

Nr. 3

2x08 - He Came by Night

This is the episode where Magnum takes the case without asking Higgy first and is possibly the most shippy episode of the season (other than maybe the Secret Room) in my opinion. But I don’t just love it for the Miggy but this has one of the subplots I rather enjoyed most this season, the one with the veteran lying about his identity.

Nr. 4

2x02 - Honor Among Thieves

Jin is fun on the first watch. On the second and third, not as enjoyable. I did like a lot of the banter in this episode and Magnum trying to talk Higgy into becoming his partner. Also TC + Rick’s trying to get a loan and then partner up is really amazing and feels relevant to what is going on with Magnum, which the subplots don’t always do.

Nr. 5

2x07 - The Man in the Secret Room

So in this one the case itself isn’t super in focus, but I don’t mind one bit. I love mopey Magnum and everyone trying to be supportive in their own ways, the guys with funny dog vidoes, Higgins with tough love and just being there and Gordon by just actually saying he’s sorry.

Nr. 6

2x06 - Lie, Cheat, Steal, Kill

Magnum is just so happy at the start and then his poor little heart gets crushed by the end. This one just like the episode after (2x07) isn’t as cased focus but more character-focused which I like a lot. It was a little over the top on the Miggy (which I should have liked but annoyed me on the re-watches for some reason.)

Nr. 7

2x03 - Knight Lasts Forever

I really liked a few bits of this (I think you can guess which bits...the miggy ones of course) but after the midseason finale, I feel like the Ivan storyline is just ‘mewwe’, so this ep. lost some of its enjoyability.

Nr. 8

2x10 - Blood Brothers

This one had a lot of really amazing moments and even though I have some issues with flashbacks I actually enjoyed this one more on the re-watch for some reason. 

Nr.  9

2x04 - Dead Inside

There was nothing wrong with this episode, but there was just a few too many things going on somehow for them to all have enough to fully develop. Gordon and his feels about drugs, the different suspects, Magnum / Higgins just having teamed up and still ironing things out, then the subplot of looking for the missing football player’s stolen Ipad. Confused Higgy and Magnum and Gordon having some little moments at the football game was a great ending though...

Nr. 10 

2x05 - Make It 'Til Dawn

Suffering a little from the same thing as the one above. There are four separate stories; Higgy and Rick at the haunted house, Magnum and Jin on the hunt for the bail jumper, Gordon and his partner after the serial killer and TC and Kumu at the sacred site. Even though Magnum+Higgins+Gordon+Jin plots sort of merge together it still feels both too coincidental and too random for me to truly love it.

Nr. 11

2x11 - Day I Met the Devil

Yeah, so the midseason finale was the episode I liked the least. Ivan was a huge disappointment, the whole Magnum on random team planing on kidnapping the weapons dealer thing didn’t draw me in and while the team coming to get Magnum was nice I just didn’t enjoy it as much as I’d hoped. Maybe I just had too high expectations. 

____

That’s my list in order of how much I like the episodes of the first half of the second season, just in time for the crossover episode later today!

I’d love to hear how you’d rate the season 2 episodes we have had so far!

Also, happy new year! Can you believe it’s 2020 already? 

#miggy #magnum pi #mangum pi cbs #magnum pi best episodes #magnum pi episode rated #magnum pi best season 2 episodes #magnum x higgins #magnum pi season 2 #magnum pi review

[elisaphoenix13]

Trigger The Light (Ch.4)

The small quantum tunnel that Scott had wouldn't be enough, so Tony started building a larger one with Scott's help as they waited for the rest of the team to arrive. Quill helped as well, but he just did the heavy lifting while Tony and Scott handled the engineering. Not that he had much choice. The moment Tony announced they were going to build a bigger tunnel, he looked at Quill and told him he was helping because he was 'freakishly strong' for a powerless god hybrid.

Quill was pretty sure there was an insult in there somewhere.

"Flash Gordon, come lift this will you?" Tony calls from the skeletal structure of the tunnel.

Quill sighs. "Sure why not."

He walks over and helps lift a panel for the billionaire to weld and distracts himself by looking around the large room. It was pretty empty since most of the others were out gathering the rest of their team members from all corners of the world, but Steve and Scott were still there. The captain was busy getting lunch together for everyone's imminent arrival, and Scott was sitting on a table fiddling with a circuit board in his lap. Quill quickly discovered that the younger thief had a tendency to puff out his cheeks when he got frustrated or annoyed with something he was working on, and he thought it was adorable. The pout that followed was just icing on the cake. Quill never thought he would look at another man and think any little things he did would be adorable. Sure, he's appreciated a man here and there, but Scott was a whole new ballgame...he had this unexplainable urge to protect him.

He can protect himself, Quill firmly reminds himself. He knew that, yet, a part of him refused to accept that. Was it maybe because Scott was Cassie's father? He was protective of her so maybe it was rolling over to Scott...but that wouldn't make sense because he was protective of Diana as well and he didn't have the urge to protect Tony. In fact. His mind was pretty content to leave the billionaire to his own devices.

For the most part.

He didn't want Diana to lose her dad too.

"Alright. You can let go now." Tony interrupts Quill's thoughts and they both move away from the panel. "Hey Stuart Little! How's that board coming?"

"Just a second!" Scott shouts. After a little more fiddling, he lifts the circuit board from his lap, hops off the table, and walks over to them. "I had to rewire some things but it's good to go now."

"Good. I'll get this wired in with the rest." Tony climbs back through the skeletal structure as Steve walks into the room with a single white bag and holds it up.

"Soup's on!"

Quill snorts. "That's not going to feed all of us."

"Of course not. The rest is in the kitchen." Steve throws the bag at Quill and the pirate barely manages to hold it to his chest. Scott grabs the bag from him and looks through it with a growing smile. "You got tacos!"

Quill snatches the bag from him and holds it up out of the younger's reach. "Those are all mine."

"Do not test me when it comes to tacos Spaceman!"

"Or what?" Quill taunts.

Something he instantly regretted because Scott proceeded to punch him in the ribs. Quill groans and hunches over to clutch at complaining muscles and the thief grabs the now lowered bag. He grabs a couple of tacos before handing the bag back to Quill and smirks at the older man before striding away with his food. The punch didn't hurt that bad, but it would definitely make Quill think twice in the future. Hopefully there would be a future whether or not Scott remained just a friend.

"He did warn you." Tony points out. "Leave a couple of those on the table for me will you? Go eat with your boyfriend."

Quill turns and glares at the engineer. "He's not-I'm going to throw them at you and you can eat them off the floor asshole!"

"Chill Porcupine. Not everyone knows about your little crush on him."

Quill sighs heavily and pulls a couple of tacos out of the bag and sets them on the table per Tony's request before walking away.

"Yet."

The pirate ignores Tony as he hears the unmistakable sounds of his ship, walks out to the back, and watches with sympathy when Rhodey lands in front of Scott and scares the man of his lunch. Just from where Scott was sitting, Quill was sure part of the tacos were blown away by the ship as it landed. To think the younger went to such lengths to get his food and then have them blown away.

He pulls another two out of the bag he's holding and hands them to Scott, and just when he sits down and pulls out the three leftover, he freezes. There were two ships sitting on the field, and one of them he was sure had been abandoned on a planet years ago. Half of it had been missing then, but now it was sitting thirty yards away, and in one piece.

"No way." Quill gasps out and Scott gives him a look from beside him.

Rocket steps onto the grass and looks between Quill and the second, smaller ship. "You're just now seeing that? It's been here for the past year."

The pirate abandons his tacos on the bench next to Scott and jogs over to The Milano with a look of awe as he looks it over. Quill honestly thought he would never see it again. When it had been abandoned, he considered it gone because there was no doubt some junkers would come across it and strip it of anything valuable, but it was there. When he went inside, he found that almost everything was still there.

"You're welcome Starmunch!" Rocket calls from outside the ship.

Quill would thank him later, even if he did call him Starmunch. He'd call him a trash panda and call it even anyway. He was too busy getting himself reacquainted with his ship right now.

"I was nice enough not to eat these perfectly good tacos you left behind. Monster." Scott says from the mouth of the ship before stepping in further and handing the food over to Quill.

"Right. Food. Thanks." Quill replies absently as he sits at the table.

Scott stands nearby as Quill sits back in his chair and throws his feet up onto the table, and he unwraps his taco to take a bite. It was polished off in the span of a minute and Quill only slowed down halfway through his second before looking up at Scott. He wipes his lower lip free of sauce with his thumb and sucks it off as the younger looks around and then raises an eyebrow in question when the thief looks down at him.

"So...what's so special about this ship?" He asks. "Isn't the other one yours?"

"Yeah, but everyone uses that one. This is mine. It always has been from the beginning. Memories...you know?" Scott nods and Quill finishes his second taco before continuing. "We had to abandon it on a planet after we crashed."

"It couldn't be fixed?"

Quill pauses his unwrapping of his third taco, and shrugs before resuming and taking a bite. It was then he told the story of his heritage. How he found his father, what said father planned to do, and how they had to kill Ego to keep him from taking over the universe. Scott sat in the chair next to him as Quill rambled, and remained quiet throughout the whole story. In the back of his mind, Quill wondered if Scott actually cared or if he was just being considerate and letting the powerless celestial air out his laundry. The second thought had Quill's heart clenching.

But Scott surprised him.

"You're sure you don't have those powers anymore?" He asks and Quill nods.

"Yeah. I watched the light in my hands disappear. And yes, I've tried just to make sure." He says when Scott opens his mouth. "Nothing. Except maybe the strength and possible longevity." Quill finally finishes his lunch and looks up at the roof of his ship.

"Do you miss space?" The man beside him asks quietly.

"Not like I thought I would." Quill admits. "My father figure died because of Ego, and Thanos was kind of the last straw for me. Drax, Mantis, Groot...they're gone because of these damn stones...and he killed Gamora for one of them. She was my best friend...and I thought I loved her, but…" He trails off and Scott tilts his head curiously.

"But what?"

"Well, looking back after recent events, I realized it wasn't romantic love. She was just a good friend." Quill huffs in amusement. "It's probably a good thing. She yelled at me a lot so that wouldn't have been a healthy relationship. She deserved better than me."

"You shouldn't sell yourself short. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Scott reassures him and Quill stretches as he drops his feet to the floor with a thunk.

"Yeah, well, if you know anyone, be sure to send them my way." The pirate says with a chuckle as he stands. "Want a tour?"

Scott gave him an unreadable look for a few moments before it morphs into a smile and he stands up as well. Quill shows him around both the Milano as well as the larger ship, and he slips into the captain's quarters to grab a few things before Rocket took the ship out again. Specifically the first mixtape his mother had given him. Unfortunately, Ego had destroyed the second one along with his walkman, but he missed listening to the first one. Now that he had the Milano back, he could listen to it again. He didn't have much faith that Tony had something sitting around that would play the tape because the man was too advanced.

"You really were out of touch if that's what you've been listening to for thirty years." Scott comments from the doorway. 

"It's literally the last thing I have left from my mother. I had no way of listening to it until now."

Quill passes by Scott and motions for the other man to follow him as he walks back to the Milano, and then walks straight for the cassette player built into the ship. He pops the tape in and presses play, and quickly loses himself in the familiar music when it starts up. Even after thirty years of endlessly listening to the same songs over and over again, he never got sick of it. It was nice to have a few happy memories returned to him.

When a slower song comes on, Quill turns to Scott and smirks. "Dance with me."

Scott scrunches his nose. "It's a slow song."

"And?" Quill grabs Scott's hand and pulls him closer. "I'll even lead."

"I'm capable of leading-"

"Nope. Too bad. I'm taller and older." The pirate quips and grins when Scott scowls up at him.

"Be careful Spaceman. People will start to think you're flirting with me."

Quill's heart jumps up into his throat but he swallows it down when Scott allows the older man to lead them. It surprisingly didn't take very long for the pair to fall into an easy rhythm, and Quill barely noticed how easily they moved around the open area of the ship they were dancing in. He noticed just enough to remember what his mother told him as a child.

Dancing is an exercise of trust. The easier you move, the more your partner trusts you.

He had no idea if it was true, but he still liked the idea that Scott trusted him. That they flowed around so smoothly because the younger thief trusted that Quill wouldn't let go or knock him into anything. Maybe it was the music, the heat building up between their almost touching bodies, or even the damn near golden eyes he finally got to see when Scott made eye contact...Quill didn't know. But something gave him the courage to open his mouth and whisper three words that had those golden eyes widening.

"Maybe I am."

He tilts his head down in what seemed like slow motion and he hears the moment Scott sucks in a breath. He wasn't pulling away or pushing Quill away so he took that as permission to proceed. When Quill was a hair's breadth away from kissing Scott, a shout had them jumping away from each other as Rhodey walks into view.

"Did you guys hear me? Tones says lunch break is over. Time to get back to work on the tunnel."

Quill rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry. Music was going and we were talking and touring the ship."

It wasn't a lie and the colonel seemed to accept it and walks away with a final warning to get back inside, and Quill looks over at Scott. Except the man was already halfway down the ramp, covering his mouth with his hand, and sporting a bright red blush that reached his ears. As soon as both Rhodey and Scott are out of sight, Quill groans and drops into the nearest chair and leans forward to bury his face in his hands. He had no idea what was going to happen now. His feelings were out in the open for Scott, and while He didn't run as Quill was making his move, he fled after the interruption. Was Scott glad nothing happened? Or was he maybe disappointed? Quill was disappointed, that was for sure.

He was so damn close.

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

HC: Background&Bullets II

- Jo: Dancing Through Life

It’s a secret part of Jo’s life and history - her love for dancing - and had started from Ellen’s plan to make her little, spiritful daughter’s weekends full while waiting for her daddy to get home. It was an old studio space above the sketchy real estate agent in town that a collection of little girls in pink leotards would line up and do plie upon pirouettes for the hours of the morning. There was no air-conditioning, and Jo would soak through the black t-shirt and stripey leggings she wore after Ellen misunderstood that no uniform requirement didn’t mean that there wasn’t a social uniform. By the time Ellen realized - staying for a few extra minutes rather than dropping Jo off at the door - it had already been three months and her little girl was past worrying about what she wore, and standing out from the crowd.

Jo actually kept up with the sport - and she would kick anyone who said otherwise for quite a while in the back of the knees - well into her teens and right until she left for college; though not quite as frequently as she once did. Not that Ellen or anyone else was aware of it. Paying for the classes with her pocket money and from cash slipped out of the register, Jo would run into town, complete a class, and run back home as a sort of chance to avoid or escape the stresses and fights back at the bar for a few hours. The only person who had any idea was Ash, and he’d cover for her regularly if asked what she was up to.

It wasn’t just the formalized styles like ballet Jo liked though. She would shimmy her way around the bar as the night wore on - lining up her favorite songs on the jukebox and swinging her hips as she cleared the tables off and wiped down surfaces. She would have her CD player set up and playing tunes all day when she’d hide away pretending to do school work. She would lay out on Ash’s bed as he had thrash screaming out of his own radio while he clicked away at some work and she would kick her feet in the air to whatever tune she could pick out of the noise. She would gently sway when Rick’s hands wrapped around her waist and he would laugh about her being such a girl. Jo would swing her way about the bar in Duluth when no one was watching, she would bop her head in time with the radio on her way driving back home, and she would sometimes find herself spinning in time to the swell of music between chores - so long as no one was watching.

- Jo & Ash: Brotherhood

It took a few months for them to really warm up to one another - too many broken relationships and too many lost relations and too many issues between the both of them to make bonding all that quick. But their relationship turned from two people living in the same house and who would play poker or pool and laugh with each other but barely knew much of either’s lives the night of Jo’s first-ever date.

Ash had been working behind the bar with Ellen, covering Jo’s shift after she’d rather quietly and embarrassedly said she had said ‘yes’ to going to see a movie with one of the guys from her automotive class. He’d had curly hair, that was all Jo had said about him, and Ellen had been ecstatic at Jo being open to doing something with anyone not connected to the hunting community. Ash had been ambivalent - being 22 and not interested in the actions of a 16-year-old and her romances after how much trouble Jo got into the previous year with the whole Gordon Thing. He regretted the ambivalence when he picked up the bar’s phone after it had chirped through two unanswered calls back-to-back while he and Ellen had been swamped. Jo’d stood in the lobby for thirty minutes, tickets in her hand and a Diet Coke waiting until the movie started and she spotted the guy and his friends walking in laughing, not once looking in her direction even as she waved.

The drive back from the cinema, he’d pulled off to the side of the road and then turned the car around and sped through to the other side of town after noticing Jo’s tears. That moment was when his view shifted from annoying teenager to his annoying teenage sister in his heart. Jo’s view shifted from the weird geeky guy renting out a room to her weird geeky guy as he’d taken a baseball bat from the back of his truck and proceeded to smash every window, mirror and chrome fenders before peeling back towards the roadhouse as Jo laughed so hard her tears changed from sad to happy.

After that, their entire friendship had changed, and Jo would spend half her time at home curled up at the end of the other’s bed as he worked, or sitting in the back of the tray of his truck, or going shooting out the back with beer cans each time Ash would finish one. He’d become quickly the first person Jo would go to about anything, to share anything, to confide in. And Jo became the number-one-person in the MIT-dropout’s life, his very best friend and his biggest supporter when anyone gave him crap for his mullet or his fashion sense, his choice in drinks or if it took a little longer than expected for him to get some information to them. Jo was his fierce protector in her world of hunters, and Ash was her fearless confidant and supporter in the world of civilians.

- Ash: Story of a Genius

Growing up a genius in a trailer park was his life. Ash never expected to achieve more than a low-paying job, a motor home of his own and a wife and three kids. Nights spent yelling at each other over whose fault it was they were still in the trailer and his own love slowly turning to resentment and simmering rage. A few police drive-bys over the noise, a DV record and his wife sneering at him as he was put in the back of a wagon when she’d hit him first. The story his father had played out before him was what he’d expected growing up, and it wasn’t until one teacher realized his potential that he started to expect anything more of himself. He ended up at a prestigious school that required uniforms and had a coat of arms stitched on his blazer, a school that gave him a full ride and he buzzed his hair short to avoid looking out of place. A school that pushed him and he soon found himself graduating two years early and in a place with another full-ride scholarship at MIT - working on computer programming and robotics for fun.

He finished his four-year degree by the time he was 20, and for a lack of anything else to do, a lack of ambition or idea or goal, Ash stayed on for a doctorate. He was halfway through his thesis when the realization that he hated what he was being turned into - the way he spoke had changed, the way he looked so different from his friends and family when he returned home in Summer break to see his father drinking away his life, the way he no longer connected or understood the world he’d grown up in and come from, how he hadn’t had an independent thought since he was 10 - and that was when he pawned his CD player, his array of computer gear and tech aside from his laptop, and his sedan. He packed a change of underwear, his laptop, and his wallet up in a backpack and bought the first bus ticket out of the city.

He hadn’t expected it when he ended up in the interchange in the midwest. He hadn’t expected the first guy to pull over as he walked down the side of the road to give him a lift even further into nowhere. And he definitely hadn’t expected to be kicked out of the car on an interstate surrounded by paddocks and nothing else as he’d pointed out a problem with the man's logic that there was something inherently weaker about women than men. He’d walked for several miles before a dusty car park and a worn Roadhouse appeared before him, and the moment the perky young blonde pulled out a chair across from him, he had found somewhere he could relearn who he was.

- Jo & Ash: Weekend Wastelands

The last two and a half years of Jo’s teenage years spent at the Roadhouse were pretty much the same over and over. On weekdays she had to go to school. A waste of time and a waste of energy and a waste of opportunities that she could be out on the road learning something or at the Roadhouse learning more and reading more. Nights were spent faking her way through homework for all of half an hour before either bussing tables, working behind the bar pulling beers and pouring spirits, deep frying onion rings and French fries, and flipping burgers while Ash would tug at the back of her apron or flick her with his own apron ties, dancing about the bar once the regulars had filtered out and she would occasionally be spun about with a laugh as the brother-from-another-life would catch her hands and twirl her between tables before they’d get shouted at to get back to work.

But on the weekend - Jo could kick back, relax, and run wild until the bar would open.

She would go for a run, she would practice her shooting, she would take her bow set out, she would even go rabbit hunting. She would lie under the clouds pointing out strange shapes as she’d pass a joint back to Ash. She would play Duck Hunter and beat his ass every time. She would learn how to throw a punch and how to get out of a hold, all with her trusty brother acting as the attacker and laughing every time her fist would hit his cheek all the while until she’d hold a pack of peas against his face. She would call Gordon from the phone line in Ash’s room while he would stare on disapprovingly, but never turn her in to her mother and would cover for her when she’d run out to see the other and always offer an ear for her to whine about how unfair it was she couldn’t be out on the road like the other - that was until he stopped calling after her seventeenth and she got the rude wake up that maybe her mother was right.

And after work, every single night of the week, Ash and Jo would sit out the back porch while the genius smoked a cigarette and the teen would lean her head against his shoulder, talking about anything and everything, before she’d finally be convinced to go to sleep with a promise to stay up later the next night.

- Ash: The Big Brother Chronicles

There was the time he smashed the jerkoff who left Jo waiting - that was the first time Ash had really felt like his old self, like the little troublemaker who grew up having to fight for scraps and respect, like a man who was supposed to protect his mother or his sister from trouble. That had been a wake-up for him, and Ash had started growing out his mullet that very day as he remembered one of the older boys who lived two trailers over that had always been the strongest and most protective brother in the park; wanting to emulate that spirit the moment he picked the usually stoic or cheerful girl in tears.

Then there was the time he saw that fucking hunter, that fucking old disgusting pervert, kiss Jo goodbye that one time. It was the first time Ash had realized there was more than idolization between the two of them, and partnered with the information Ellen shared before the man came around again, he knew there wasn’t anything else to do for it. Ash faked an email from Jo - when he knew she would be away on a college tour that weekend with Ellen right after her seventeenth birthday - and when the man arrived, Ash broke his nose, his knee and five bones in his hand. Ash got a broken rib for himself in return before the other hunters and regulars in the bar managed to separate them. Recovering with the remains of his current stash, the computer geek had reconfigured Jo’s emails so none of them would ever get through to the other hunter and none of the older man’s would get through to her.

Next had been a slew of other hunters - young guys (more appropriately aged than the other one) but still not nice guys, ones that thought his little sister wasn’t worth much more than a quick roll in the hay out back or in the backseat of their car - that never got past a few flirtatious comments here and there before they found themselves with a friendly arm around their shoulder and a hissed explanation of just what could happen to them if they dared try anything with the perky blonde that smiled so wide at everyone. Then the schoolboys started up, sneaking around the Roadhouse with fake IDs that they’d even paid him for thinking that they wouldn’t be turned around by Ellen and her wicked grins, Ash didn’t need to step in on those but he definitely made it clear when he would slide the fakes to each of them through the crack of his truck window that if they tried to touch his sister they’d be eating gravel in no time.

But the easiest job of his, the easiest support he ever gave to his chosen sister, was to don ill-fitting suit pants, a white shirt and slick his mullet back against his head and slide the pretty corsage of bluebells over her wrist as he was the calm and steady rock to support her throughout the night. They’d found out the morning of - after she’d been the one to buy the tickets and even dragged him shopping two weeks earlier to buy the periwinkle blue ball gown of tulle - that it had been a last prank by the boys in her year. The last joke to get back at her for being ‘frigid’ and a ‘prude’, for having her ‘big brother destroy Pete’s car’, for having the gall to be disinterested in them even without the interventions from Ellen and Ash to dissuade them making a first move. Ash had glowered something fierce, driven into town and bought the first suit that fit him, and returned to drag her out in that pretty blue dress with her dusty combat boots and his leather jacket swimming off her shoulders out to the event. They’d stuck their fingers up in their ‘couples’ photo, while Ash had spun her about the dance floor in a swirl of tulle and leather. They’d spiked the fruit punch, Jo had rested her head on his shoulder during a slow song, and they’d ditched out on the rest of the evening before it hit 9pm after Jo had kneed the boy who asked her on the dare so hard in the balls that the boy had crumpled to the floor. They spent the rest of the night in a paddock between the lights of town and the Roadhouse - the pick-up truck lights illuminating the grass where Jo span and span under the stars while the rock station played on the radio and Ash had smoked a joint and drank a beer on the bonnet.

- Jo & Ash: Farewells

He had been the only person Jo had told before she took off. She’d come in through the back door and went straight to the Doctor’s office, tears still burning at her eyes but refusing to be shed. Ash had been the only one who understood how she felt. Who got why she was mad, and exactly who she was mad at. He was the one who handed her a wad full of cash, the keys to his truck and five credit cards he promised he’d take care of for her. Ash had been the one to kiss her on the forehead, throw her bag in the back of the cabin and squeeze her goodbye.

He had been the one she called to, directly to him, when a case was looking hard to crack. The only one she trusted to know where she was, what she was doing, and to help her figure out what she was after. Ash had been her one connection home, and while she had sent her mom postcards from all over the country with no message, Ash was the one who got emails every other day, full of her thoughts and fears, her hopes and her concerns. Ash was the one who helped her through the worst scrapes; and he was the one that convinced her to go to Duluth to rest up and work the bar there for her aunt and uncle when she had broken her foot on the case before chasing down a werewolf.

Ash had been the reason she ever went back to the Roadhouse, the only reason she ever returned to Nebraska while she’d still been alive the first time. To see the burnt-out husk of the bar in the dusty car park, and to sit under the old oak tree out the back they had laid out under for years in the Summers to bury the one old flannel of his she’d taken with her. The only thing left of him she had to put away until she met up with her mom and inherited his watch instead.

#cc #headcanons for my jo #background for jo and ash #NOT REALLY FIC BUT ALSO NOT NOT FIC?