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eunoiaastralwings · 1 year

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This ask has been on my mind since like FOREVER 💗💗💗💗💗💗

I was wondering if you could do a feanorians x little brother ft nolofinwe where y/n was born very weak and frail but was still loved by his family dearly just that because of his frail body he's constantly bullied and hit by other elflings (and maybe some adults). Whenever he sees his brothers and father he feels so utterly useless but bottles everything up .

Make it end up in fluff please 🙏🙏

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night ❣️

characters feanorians x little brother reader ft. Fingolfin

fandom tolkien- the silmarillion

a/n am still uneasily writing about kids - so I made it into a headcanon. Idk if this is what you intended am sorry - so you can request else where because idk what else to do this - but I hope you at least like it @oggy4god

warnings angry overprotective family members xD

FEANOR:

As your dad - expect him to treat you the same as any other of your brothers. He doesn’t care whether or not you were born weak - Feanor still wants to achieve your goals and dreams, like each of his other sons did. He would help you achieve it too.

Eru forbid if he witnesses anyone bullying you he will turn their lives to literal hell. He would protect you with his might and title - the most important to him being a father. He will allow no harm to come upon you. After your bullying incidents he keep just an extra eye and care on you - letting you know you can always talk to him. He will be extra caring on your side.

If you ever feel useless compared to him - he will tell you otherwise and make you shine with your skills, no matter how small they may be, he is so proud of you.

NERDANEL:

I love her, OK? I could not miss your hot momma out. Just like Feanor, she wouldn’t see you any less. You receive a little more attention from her (sometimes your brothers are a little jealous of this but they understand and love you) - more care too. She will encourage you and help you every step of the way to help you achieve your dreams - she sits with you day and night.

Nerdanel is someone who doesn’t like to use the terms “weak” or people referring to you having a “condition” - she likes to think you were extra blessed by Eru, especially when you start to show your kindness and uniqueness to the world - showing your hidden talents. She is the proudest mother - and she shows it.

Your mother would be first to witness the change in your moods - you starting to get depressed. She knows you very well and finds the reasons behind it without having to even question. She likes to deal with it quietly - but if your bullies ceases to stop, she is not afraid to take it to the next level. If she uses her title among the Nolder for anyone, it will be for her children - especially you darling.

Sometimes she cries herself to sleep - thinking about all that you had to face alone and how hard it must have been for you and why you didnt come to her.

In seeing you like this - she understands depression and other mental illnesses so she advises and helps to start therapy or retreats among elves - knowing it is more common than one would think.

Oh - and if it comes to having to get getting revenge on the kindergarten moms who bullied her kid. . . oh, she will ! ! !

Nerdanel consoles her son -and then takes her revenge on those who mistreated him.

MAEDHROS:

As your oldest brother - he advises you like a 2nd father, he isn’t afraid to step in when Feanor is away to come and protect you. He lets you take it a little more easier in training. When you cannot achieve anything as fast as your brothers - he sits down next to you and comforts you with small pet talks. He tries to make you feel better about yourself by telling the number of times he failed before achieving something - letting you know how things take time and life isn’t about a race. Mae tells you to believe in yourself and that is the most important thing - he tells you to listen to yourself and the people that are family - “They say many things - but you mustn’t listen to them, but to the people you keep in here” - points to your heart.

When you finally learn to achieve a level in your training - he has the biggest proud face. He picks you up and places you on his shoulders, cheering for you.

MAGLOR:

While your mother invites therapy for mental health - your big brother Maglor creates songs to boost up your self esteem. Ever seen music fights? - Yes, he does that to your bullies, before filling you with a heart warming and encouraging song like in those Disney movies - he becomes Baloo (The Jungle Book) or even Genie (Aladdin).

He becomes your personal cheerleader - singing from the top of his lungs as Mae carries you on his shoulders.

CELEGORM:

While he doesn’t show it well - he loves you greatly. If he ever sees anyone bullying you and making you feel bad about yourself - big bad brother Tyelko is going to threaten the very lives of your bullies, he becomes the bully of your bullies LMAOO.

He then feels better and drops in front of you - wrapping his arm around your shoulder insisting you go for a hunt that’s the only way he knows how to comfort. Otherwise he gets either Nerdanel, Mae or Maglor.

Expect Huan to be the bestest boi to protect you from big bad brother Tyelko is away to bully the bullies that tried to hurt you.

CARANTHIR:

If anyone learns of you being mistreated first, it is your overprotective big brother Cara - he sees red when he sees or hears of someone bullying you. Cara would straight up punch them in the face - he doesn’t care who/what they are: “HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF LAYING A HAND ON MY BABY BROTHER?!”

His words are searing with deadly anger - making them cower in fear. He will make sure they apologize to you - the one that you deserve. While Cara is caring, initially he is mad at you for hiding or bottling up everything. Afterwards he vows to let no harm come to you. Cara knows what it is like to be judged on - because of his ruddy freckles skin.

Slowly the both of you become closer to each other like this - gradually opening up to each other and he has the proudest look on his face when he sees you defending him, small tears even gathers in his eyes.

CURUFIN:

Like Cara - he is so mad you had no one told anyone of your mistreatments, he will report straight to Feanor. He doesn’t know how to comfort - he never learnt that so he pulls you to the others to give you comfort, though he becomes the extra pair of eyes to protect you from anyone who dares to mistreat you. He can be a little hard on you at times - but when he learns he’s causing you hurt too he immediately stops - he does care deeply for you but he doesn’t know how to help you otherwise.

AMBARUSSA:

Please - if your older twin brothers ever sees someone hurting you - expect them to prank (and scare) the life out of them. They are letting no one hurt you in any way - they take on their roles of becoming your big brothers very seriously - even if at times it seems like it doesn’t.

Sometimes during training they purposefully fall behind you making you go ahead of them or failing on pretend - because they love seeing that triumphant amazed smile on your face once in a while. They will literally do anything to make you happy - once even daring to cut the hair of your school teacher that was giving you a hard time - “He doesn’t deserve it - if he cannot treat someone as amazing you right ! ! ! - Even Atar isn’t mad at us!”

FINGOLFIN:

Best Uncle Nolofinwë seeing this precious little nephew getting mistreated? - Oh, he will not allow such a thing to happen, for a split second he is about to lose his anger like your father - but he controls it and does it the right way of reporting it and making sure they achieve their punishment to even dare to think of doing such a thing to you.

Afterwards - waiting for Feanor to come, he will take your hands in his and talk to you in a calm caring voice - telling you it is OK to feel like the way you and that everyone does feel like this once in a while - but the most important this is not let it cast you down: “You may think you only feel like this, young one - but we all do. . .Some are better at hiding than others and it is never good to hide it. We must accept that sometimes we need a little help. . .a little encouragement from the bad thoughts - and most importantly. . .you must never let these thoughts or words of others plague your heart, my dearest little nephew. . .”

Feanor is a little jealous and scowling at how his half-brother is having a moment with his son - expect your father to be in a sour mood and scowling at Fingolfin for a few moments before he turns to you and provides you the best of comfort - also severing the punishments for your bullying while your uncle shakes his head but offers your something in between a smile and a smirk.

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tara's taglist: @wandererindreams @fizzyxcustard @ranhanabi777 @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @floraroselaughter

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taanoir · 2 months

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Gene and Milo made it to Henford in fall of 1988. Gene's parents were buried in the family plot.

Gene read through the oldest stones at the back of the plot. He didn't realize how many relatives he had here. The oldest ones were almost completely worn away, "Calisto" and "Khur" were the only part still legible on the oldest pair.

They sat in the chapel listening to the chaplain talk about the watcher and his plan. Gene's mind wandered, he stared holes into the graves outside.

Eventually Milo realized Gene was here but not present. He poked him a bit and asked if he was ok? Gene told him he was fine, just in his head a bit.

After a stop back at the hotel, Gene thought maybe he just needed dinner. They made their way to the restaurant down the block from the cemetery.

They had a nice dinner and Milo tried to pry at Gene's mind a bit. He was quiet and clearly still preoccupied.

After a couple glasses of red nectar, Gene told Milo what was really on his mind. "All those headstones, generations of my family. All mothers, fathers, children. I always figured my brother had the next generation covered, he has three amazing kids. But sitting there thinking about Jimmy and the girls, is he ever going to have it together enough for us to walk away?"

Milo's smile faded. He was honest with him "No hun, I really just don't see that in the cards. If I'm being honest, I knew years ago when I said we should stay. That was the opportunity to leave and we didn't take it. I used to get in my own head about it, but in hindsight, it was the right call. I love our nieces, I loved your folks and I love you. We're where we need to be."

As the words left Milo's mouth, Gene looked like he was going to cry.

"Don't get all mushy love. We're where we need to be but we need to talk about the division of duties, I need more help. I need that help from you. Balancing a 10 year old, a six year old and a toddler is a lot, add the cooking, cleaning and just day to day and it's crushing. If this is what life is going to be, I'm good with it but don't drop everything in my lap."

Gene could see that he meant it, this wasn't goofy Milo, this was serious Milo. Gene promised to help more "When we get back to San Sequoia I will take on a more active role. The business is going well, I can rearrange some things, I still need to be in the office but maybe not as long."

Milo softened, "Thank you. I know the business has been your focus and you've done amazing but with your parents gone ... I can't do it all alone."

Gene nodded, "I know you're right, I'm just afraid of dropping the ball." Milo grinned, "You made the ball and it's not just you anymore. You have a staff, delegate, let go of something".

They spent their last day in Henford as tourists. Milo had another question for Gene "So, when we die .... do we get planted here with the rest of your family?" Gene hadn't actually thought about that, ever. "I mean, we can be or we could write it in our will to be buried in San Sequoia. Would you prefer that?" Milo smirked, "I'd prefer not to die" Gene laughed "I'll get right on developing an immortality protocol "

Gene thanked Milo "for the support, for helping work through all of this. I couldn't have done this without you, thank you love."

#ts4 gameplay #historychallenge #childrenofcalisto #gen 8

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nulfaga · 7 months

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aahhh!!! ok… 7, 23 for neneldi, 5, 6 for orpheus, 20, 26 for lavinia and 13, 16 for mr darkworth :]

YES THANK YOU. huge brained question choices <33

here's the prompts

for neneldi:

7: Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

i might say "pragmatic; tangled-up; transgressor (not as in 'an outlaw' but etymologically as one who crosses [a border; a norm; etc], a goer-across)".

she'd say, with no hesitation, "speaker neneldi velvassius". post-brotherhood: "neneldi umayra velvassius".

23: Stability or novelty?

i think she thinks she's looking for stability. in fact she's convinced she's doing everything in her power to secure stability and life just keeps throwing weird curveballs. but in practice she keeps putting herself in volatile situations (ditching her family & signing on with the brotherhood; even falling in with lucien, a disruptive element, the rare recruit who was there absolutely against his will; THEN killing a room full of high brotherhood officials to save lucien; THEN deciding to knock on the door of the champion of cyrodiil for a little walking-around money). you can work backwards and understand the reasoning for each step: the hope for familial stability in the arms of the brotherhood; the hope for relational/romantic stability in picking up w/ lucien who is her oldest most consistent friend in her new life; dashing across cyrodiil to save him in order to preserve that long-standing relationship; but due to bad luck and/or poor judgment it keeps backfiring and wrecking her stability. like every time. (the question arises: isn't she just geared for novelty and in denial about it? you know. maybe.)

for orpheus:

5: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

only among friends, and only to get on somebody's nerves (ie 15-minute ode to a notoriously self-effacing friend who looks like he wants to drown himself in his tankard the entire time). that's orph's main thing is he's on layer 8 of ironic detachment and would die on contact with a drop of sincerity. (martin is sort of terrifying to him for this reason: he mopes sincerely, he loves sincerely, he gets sincerely angry.)

i think even in a """professional""" setting like, idk. making a pitch why he should be allowed onto the elder council. he might do his best and deliver a rousing speech etc but in his mind he'd be convincing himself it's all a great big gag, that's the only way he can begin to approach it.

rare exception to the rule might be like, the blades hold a little memorial service for martin once they're back at the temple and before all hell breaks loose w/ chroniclers wanting the inside scoop and succession disputes and whatnot. i think (after a lot of prodding by his very good friends) he'll get to his feet...kind of removed from himself, hasn't slept in 72 hours, numb etc etc and he'll say something simple and (to his own ear) kind of dim-witted like "you were with us for a while. you had a good voice. we won't hear it again".

6: Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

respectively: neneldi and jauffre. he's terrible at setting his personal feelings aside in either direction. he is a big ball of feelings. he'll let his impression of someone be colored 90% by pathos and 10% by authority and after that their fate is sealed. jauffre treated him dismissively in the beginning and so orph isn't disposed to listen to anything he says ever again. neneldi on the other hand...well. that's his sister

for lavinia:

20: What do they like that nobody else does?

she has a variety of niche interests. you might even call some of them unbecoming for the (at one time) archmagister of the mages' guild. copperhart thinks of her as a misunderstood genius and will take any opportunity to enable her (bringing round obscure texts he's found on his travels, esp. treatises on magic practices that are stigmatized or out of use). this is why, by the time of her appointment to the archmage's office, she is a part-time necromancer, the proud owner of a talking sword, and the second-ever known practitioner of [redacted] <- keeping that one to myself in the event i do write this fic

26: Talent or effort?

both. her mother's line is full of naturally powerful mages, but none of them have historically been very ambitious. she's the first in a long time to seek out a formal education instead of teaching herself and/or referring to the family lexicon of useful but unrefined spells. it is in fact the rare combination of talent, effort and a deeply unorthodox approach that got her to archmage.

for the shrimpy wizard (aka mr. p. copperhart darkworth of wayrest!):

13: Name one thing their parents taught them.

copperhart is the son of lord darkworth of wayrest and [redacted], who promptly disappeared again, returning every five or ten years or so just to check in on the strange child she made. she didn't contribute much to his upbringing except to give him his first name, prochorus. on the other hand, lord darkworth—who had no plans for children and was perfectly content to remain a bachelor—became a dedicated father in very short order. as for what he taught his son: everything he possibly could. notably that his father loved him. and not to wear clashing patterns together. copperhart has taken ONE of these lessons to heart.

16: If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

as hinted above money isn't a limit. he's the spoiled little oopy schmoopy apple of his father's eye and he wears whatever horrid and beautiful ensembles he can convince a self-respecting tailor to make. the exception is when he's undercover for spy work and has to tone it down severely. jury's out on what he does with his hair but probably a temporary spell. i don't think he could stomach dyeing it

#THANK you the thoughts r broiling... i remembered at least 4 plot points from the lavinia fic while doing this #orpheus velvassius #neneldi velvassius #p. copperhart darkworth #<- i thought he had a tag already but i guess not!#lavinia #also the legal situation is murky re: is copperhart formally a member of the darkworth house. but he carries the name day to day #if not on paper

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blacklodgemusictx · 10 months

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The thing about plans is: they necessitate optimism. You have to assume the world will keep turning for long enough to get to the plans in... The Future.

Three months ago, I went, "We should see the Pool Kids"... in Ohio! Somehow it made sense to fly 1200 miles to see them on a Thursday versus the normal hoops I have to jump through to see any band here in Texas (Austin and Denton are a Tuesday and a Wednesday. Any time I see a show in Texas, due to the fact that I live nowhere anyone would ever want to come on purpose, there is always extra time off to be requested for drive time -- 3ish hours for Denton, 4 hrs one way for Austin).

"Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go on Tour" also represents the Pool Kids' first foray out on the world as... headliners (starry eyes.)

I didn't write about the Pool Kids back in March. I should have. It would be a lot easier now to describe what they mean to me if I had.

The Pool Kids are a delightful anomaly in my own history. I discovered them 100% on my own. No outside influence what so ever. Doug and I simply lamented one night in late 2018/early 2019 that we really needed to find something closer by to do. Maybe something is happening close by and we don't even know it! Something that won't require... taking off time from WORK?! So I got on Spotify and searched for bands touring nearby -- within a 100 mile radius (Dallas is 186 miles). I looked at the results: someone called the Pool Kids. In San Angelo. 91 miles!!

They were the *only* band not wearing cowboy hats in their profile picture.

They're new (at the time) album was called "Music to Practice Safe Sex To." Ok. I put it on for a listen. Girl singer. Ugh. Not my thing. But anything to block out the random bullshit background noise in my office. I play it through. Eh. Doesn't Grab me.

Oh well, it was worth a try.

But time passes... brain says, "lizzz.... lizzz listen to that album again... lizzzz" Yes, brain, I do as you command.

And it grabs me.

It grabs me hard.

And I *love* it. I don't know why. I'm big on understandable lyrics. And I can't say I understand half of what is being said. But the melodies are gorgeous. I get goosebumps. Whatever she's talking about it, it's sad... and contemplative. And angry ("I should rip your throat out for what you've done to me...") Her voice is low for the most part. Something I've only learned about myself recently is I tend toward listening to voices that sound closer to my own and I'm a contralto.

When I look in to the band, I'm told it's "math rock." I have no fucking clue what that means (musicians have explained it to me: Complex time signatures. Key changes. Sounds like a new definition of "prog" to me. Close, the musicians tell me, but not quite.) Whatever. Don't make me label a thing. And for sure if you tell me it's "math rock" and then assume I will like other kinds of "math rock" I will refuse on principle. I pride myself on being harder to define in my tastes than that.

The reality? My finger is placed squarely on it later. "oooOOOOooo I see!" Hayley Williams from Paramore acknowledges and gives them props at some point... *that's* it. They remind me of the Paramore appreciation I gleaned from my time as a too-old-to-admit-it-Twihard. Simple.

We absolutely go to the San Angelo gig. Doug and I are easily the oldest people there -- old enough to be these kids' parents easily. The "De Nada" is a artsy thrift store during the day. At night, they push the clothing racks and other offerings against the wall and become a venue.

There are somewhere in the neighborhood of three to five bands. They all sort of run together. The only one I remember is a band from New Orleans. The lead singer is wearing a ruffly shirt and I'm pretty sure he wants to be the Vampire LeStat when he grows up. He does weird acrobatics. Somersaults? Paints his face with red lipstick.

The Pool Kids wail.

I am floored. They are actually kids (something you must know about me is I've been approximately 200 years old since I was in high school... I would have acknowledged their youth even if they had been OLDER than me at that point.) But the amount of rock they bring is amazing, jaw dropping. Lead singer Christine, SHREADS, does that "up-on-the-neck tapping" guitar thing I only saw as a kid stealing glances at MTV when Mom wasn't around (baby cousin posted look out at the door... promptly and cheerfully narc'd on me for doing something I wasn't supposed to).

I have a couple videos from that night on YouTube. One example being:

youtube

We talk to them after. Doug wants to know about their influences. In the accidentally condescending way my brain works, since I’ve been 200 years old this whole time… I am interested to hear what they say. How do you cultivate that amount of raw power and instrument mastery at that age? The only thing I remember being mentioned was Pink Floyd.

Nice.

I come prepared. I cashed out my Christmas money before coming. Pretending to be a baller, I fan out the cash and buy as much of their merch as possible. It was $100, but the way all their eyes lit up, I felt important. And I loved it. I think Christine hugged me. I don’t really remember. I hope that got them lots of van gas and hot meals as they continued on their way… bringing the good news of rock to other points of the compass.

I was now flush with copies of their album. I sent one to Salim and one to Sue Harshe – a friend we made on a pilgrimage to see Scrawl (godmothers of riot grrl — look them up!) in Knoxville in 2015.

Fast forward…

Life changing time with Salim on the road Feb 2020… two last shows: Caroline’s Spine in Tulsa… And the Pool Kids in Houston. March 2020. On an impressive bill with the Wonder Years. Bigger! Poised for up up up bigger and better things.

Then the world ended.

But it got better….

(didn’t it?)

We saw them in Dallas this March at Amplified Live.

And I cried.

Not just a quiet trickle from the corner of my eye.

I cried hard. There they were. Rocking. Bigger and better. Christine working the crowd like a young Bono at Red Rocks. Coming in to herself. Coming into themselves as young rock gods. Master of the stage. Master of all they survey. I was just so in love with what I was seeing and hearing. So proud of them. So happy that we as humans were back. Able to watch a show like this and just be together again. Maybe everything would be ok after all.

I talked to Nicolette (complete bass domination — Doug commented much later that she seems to have the most fun performing on stage of anyone he’s ever seen… and his history as a fine appreciator of rock is ten years longer than mine) at the merch table later. Tried to get myself under control. Still had an embarrassing hitch in my throat. I have seen a LOT of good performances before, but none that have gotten that kind of response before.

She remembers me. I know not a huge amount of time has passed, but in their history and progression as a band and our progression as a now traumatized people… millennia has passed.

I am touched.

So now we are back up to current. They are headlining. Of course they are. They deserve every bit of this. Again I swell with pride though… I’ve backed a winning horse. This is rare. Usually when I love you, you break up (RIP People in Planes).

The deciding factor that made us pick Ohio though was two fold: first date of the tour and where it was: ACE OF CUPS. Ace of Cups was owned by the other half of Scrawl, Marcy Mays (what I didn’t know at the time was that Marcy no longer owns it as of the end of 2022.)

I Facebook squeal. Sue, I tag, can I take ANY sort of credit for this? She agrees that I can, but without elaboration. I don’t know if the credit comes in the fact that I just love them THAT much and have therefore done that “manifesting” thing I keep hearing about. I have WISHED this in to existence. In my happy mind movie though, back in 2019, Sue passes the album on to Marcy. Marcy agrees that they wail. Mentions as ownership of Ace of Cups passes from her, that the Pool Kids are really amazing and if they come by, you should totally get them. Pool Kids acquired.

Perhaps best to just enjoy my happy mind movies and not require further elaboration.

Back to present-present.

Flying always seems like such a doable thing until you (I) are there. I forgot my calm-down pills. The little white bits of magic that make the anxiety grey out for a few hours. There’s also that lull where you watch your airport gate fill up. Maybe *this* time the flight won’t be full.

It’s always full.

Leg one is to Atlanta. Short layover.

Text from Salim, “Can you talk at some point today?”

Literally, right now. This is the most available I will be all day.

So he calls. He’s had a health set back (read his Facebook… I never know what I’m allowed to talk about when it comes to other people.) Our trip that was on the books for the 07/21-07/27 with Rhett {Miller} is off. Off 100% sure? I am just trying to clarify for the purpose of undoing plans. But the voice that lives in my head and constantly tells me I’m an asshole pipes up. Way to make it about you. Jerk. He’s poorly and you are asking if the trip really, truly is off. That’s not what I meant. It’s never what I mean.

I am able to cancel all the hotels and get credit for the plane fare before we even line queue up for next boarding.

I have always had a sense for when something is meant to happen. I didn’t feel like this trip was a good idea. Salim is a big proponent for listening to the universe when it tells you something. I try to be too. We were all meant to stay here for now. I hate that he had to have something health related happen, but in the end… I think we will all realize we were supposed to stay home. Whether I get sick, or Doug, or one of the cats. Something will happen to make me go, “Oh. Here it is. I hear you, universe.” For Salim, I think his prescription is stillness. He is the most go-go-go person I know. He never stops swimming. Something wants him to stop swimming for right now.

This is ok. Seriously. I don’t mind and the only thing I am worried about is my friend.

So we board for hop to. Columbus. Our destination.

The flight is not bad. I feel optimistic. Maybe soon I will master my fear. Fly all the time like it’s not a big deal… maybe make an international jaunt before too long — an idea I’ve never entertained before.

We land at two-ish. Haven’t eaten. There’s a Bob Evans in our hotel’s parking lot. I’ve never been to a Bob Evans. It feels sort of like a Dennified Cracker Barrel. I don’t eat much. I drink even less (there’s that foreshadowing thing again).

We go back to our room and sleep. It’s good sleep. The bed is soft, but not too soft. We wake up at 6:30. Venue is a mile away. Doors at 7.

I primp a bit. No makeup this time. Though it’s easily 25 degrees cooler here than home and there are perceptible dark clouds that might mean a bit of rain if we behave ourselves. I could have worn makeup, but it doesn’t matter.

The venue… there’s that twinge in my chest again. It’s worse this time. But I am delighted. The stage is dark and light chevrons, the backdrop: red curtains. There’s a recognizable symbol on the wall (the thing that looks like an ant’s head with antennae on either side). This is what BLM would have looked like. We HAD the red curtains purchased — they are in our dining room now. The chevron design is a rug … that’s still rolled up in a corner and hasn’t been touched for a year now. Someone else is like me. They know. Again I don’t know if that was Marcy or the new owners and it doesn’t matter if I ask. It still exists. If I managed to walk any further back past the stage… there probably would’ve been owls. Schrodinger’s venue. By not exploring further, it contains all possibilities.

The first band is Chase Petra (the second is Sydney Sprague per the tour poster.) I didn’t look either up ahead of time. I have never given much credence to the idea that I could be influenced to love just by proximity to the band I came to see… but I instantly recognize this idea as false: I got Salim from being an opener. I got Jesse and Landon from Salim… sight unseen.

And I love them both.

Chase Petra is amazing. They are young and saucy. They have attitude. In keeping with the name of the tour, emphasis on “girls.” Chase Petra are 3/4 girl. And all power. The vibe is similar to the Pool Kids. A strong, young, shredding female vocalist, but the show stopper was the other guitarist. She was an eighties hair metal rock god reincarnate. All flying fingers and whipping hair.

It’s so FUCKING LOUD. The hair on my arms vibrates, my heart doesn’t know when to beat, my stomach vibrates.

I love them. The audience loves them too and shouts along with most of their songs.

Band two: Sydney Sprague. They are older. The bass player wears a neckerchief like Fred from Scooby Doo and commands a Moog in between bass slinging duties. The singer is all in black and reminds me of me. Same dark hair style and cut I kept in high school. She’s got a sweet voice, higher than the other girls on the bill. Their performance is a little more low key, but no less powerful. They are a fantastic, cohesive unit in total control of their art.

Someone further to my left up front has brought huge bunches of roses. One for each band. Chase Petra’s bunch lives on stage by their set list, Sydney receives hers like a beauty queen. All blushing and sweet thanks. “Fred” leans over and buries his nose in the bouquet for a moment.

Finally, the moment draws close. I am keenly aware that I am running out of time. I have spent energy enjoying the first two bands. I will pay for this. My spine continues to grind itself to sand, as I assume it will for the rest of my life. I have already remarked that it’s “hot in here.” Liz, it’s not, Doug says. Not good. I’ve had a total of maybe 4 ounces to drink today. All in the name of easier travel.

I’ve taken small moments in between each band to sit on the edge of the stage. I know I will eventually hinder something to do with the bands and their myriad cables and plugs, or the imposing young doorman with the impressive afro will come along and tell me to get up.

Neither.

It’s Nicolette the lovely bass player again. “Excuse me, I have to get in here,” I was sitting on a blank plate that ended up covering electrical sockets. I touch her shoulder. She looks at me. Ah, there’s the recognition. She’s glad to see me.

She puts out the setlist. I’m excited. But filled with dread. I have to last this long. I have to fight my own body for 12 songs and I’m already flagging… but it’s starting and I can’t think about it now.

Their entrance music is… “Sandstorm” and I’m dying. I’m ready to rave. But the music stops abruptly. Starts again. But the moment is gone. Oh well. They tried.

Christine is wearing white platform go go boots, short skirt, fishnets, midi top. Nicolette has an equally short skirt, neckerchief too, but there’s nothing Scooby Doo about hers. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. They look amazing. Someone on TikTok later declares, “Their fits!!!” Fits… ‘fits… outfits? That has to be it. Woman have been weaponizing their sexuality since woman were admitted to the boys club that is rock music. Courtney Love’s ripped baby doll dresses and bruised innocence, L7 and… throwing… stuff… on stage, performing in bikinis, performing in too little, too much. Anything open for interpretation and therefore derision or scorn. But sexualizing is not cool anymore. I don’t know what kind of commentary I am allowed on this subject, but I am left echoing the same cry, “their fits!!” Their oufits, they are “fit”, they are there and raw and breathtakingly sexual and powerful. You don’t stare at the sun either, but you’ve done it. You’ve dared.

I also have a revelation. Role models. These people are amazing, iconic. I take a moment to bless the proliferation of media I’ve cursed in past. If I had access to these kinds of strong female role models as a teen, my life would have been completely different. I wouldn’t have let my mother’s flat declaration, “You aren’t good at music. PICK SOMETHING ELSE.” Turn me from my fated course.

It makes me happy that social media is exposing young people to bands like the ones on this bill. There’s hope for the future.

They open with “Swallow,” one of the songs on my revised Ketamine playlist. There’s a bit of treated vocal that is the absolutely definition of why music is good. Music should give you that thrill like sticking your head out of the window of a moving car. That drop in your stomach. Momentary breathlessness.

Can’t put my finger on it Don’t know what makes it so appealing I’m not begging for your affection I’m just addicted to the feeling…

Two songs in. Time for the third. How many people here were around for our first album – Music to Practice Safe Sex to? ME!! MEEEEeeeeeEEEE…. I scream. You can hear it on the video. I should be embarrassed. I’m too old to be reacting like this. But I got such a late start…

The music doesn’t know the social constructs of age or sex… it just knows what feels good.

The “Safe Sex” portion of the show is two songs long. This makes me sad. You never forget the album you came in on. It’s a much more forlorn sounding album though. I know from Salim that the forlorn ones don’t get people dancing. But “Patterns,” ah… I would have lost my mind for “Patterns.”

And I spent one too many nights banging my head against the wall to hear another voice telling me that I’m doing something wrong So excommunicate me You’re no better than the fucked up doctrine that sent me running to your doorstep in the first place

Fucked up doctrine. My youth is fucked up doctrine. My memories are tainted by it. I still wonder how they can wield so much word power at such a young age, but then again these struggles are as old as the generations. As long as their have been the elder and the younger, the subjugator and the subjugated, rulers, oppressed, one group will chafe against the other. It hurts the heart, grinds down the soul… but it makes the music amazing.

We make art, music, poetry, to feel hope.

I make it almost to the end… almost… Talk Too Much: Christine does the young Bono thing and goes out in to the crowd. Several times a mini mosh pit has broken out right where she is. At some point, someone flicks beer on us… at least I hope it was beer. Ugh. I am done. The anesthetized feeling starts in my finger tips.

I am going to pass out.

I mouth to Doug, “I have to go. NOW.” I head for the stool previously occupied by the imposing young doorman. I lay my head on the counter for a second. I wait to be booted off. I’ve been doing this for years. I’ve passed out, tried to pass out, and all stages in between for years, in myriad venues in cities all across the US. I like to be in the front. My constitution takes issue with this. But I do it anyway.

I try to gesture to Doug: thumb at my lips, fingers curved around an invisible cup. Drink. Please I need water. But there are too many people.

Next best thing: air. I lurch out the door and land on the pavement beside the door. The Kids are launching in to an encore. I can’t heard what it is. Doug is on his phone summoning the Uber. Imposing Young Doorman Man appears… with a cup of ice water in his hand. THANK YOU, DEAR BLESSING, SIR! You have no idea how many people normally just go, ‘YOU — you can’t sit there!’ (Hi, La Zona Rosa in Austin… the scuzzy incarnation not the gentrified one) even though I’m pretty sure if you kick me out of your establishment while swooning and I faceplant on the cement, I could sue you. Or something.

People aren’t normally friendly about it because they assume I drank too much… when it’s the opposite: I didn’t drink at all.

The Uber appears and we are whiskered away. I still couldn’t hear what the encore was. But I’m not sad. I got most of it and it was AMAZING. Nicolette saw me so I exist. Mission accomplished.

We are back in the hotel. Doug orders Denny’s Doordash. The thing about prolonged exposure to sonic assault is: nausea. Nothing sounds good. Until Doug says… macaroni and cheese. And I know EXACLTY what kind Denny’s has because I’ve noticed it on the menu before. It doesn’t lie. It doesn’t pretend to be something else. It is real: really Kraft boxed mac… and at that moment it sounds like the AMBROSIA of the GODS.

Which is exactly what it tastes like.

I am replenished. The gods of rock are appeased for another night …

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rottenbrainstuff · 1 year

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I saw a BEAUTIFUL concert last night. It was a show that combined Brahms’ first symphony with Radiohead songs from OK Computer, with three singers proving amazing vocals.

Gonna be SUPER HONEST with you guys. I like classical music, I do, and I go to classical music concerts, I do, but sitting down and listening to a great big symphony gets really boring in parts, I admit it. Maybe I’m just an uncultured ADHD-riddled monkey but I really need the strong emotional hooks to keep me interested. For instance, most recently, I went to go see a performance of Beethoven’s 9th and it’s like yes the beginning slaps, yes the ending is like the most amazing thing to see performed live, but damn does that middle ever drag.

THIS show? This was a solid two hours of absolute ethereal delight, beginning to end. The songs are woven together so wonderfully that you think, yes of course it makes sense to insert Radiohead into Brahms, yes of course it makes sense to give an orchestral backing to Radiohead. The Radiohead gives the… perhaps a little stuffy… classical music a more accessible, immediate and contemporary context, and the orchestra backing takes that alt rock pop music and really elevates it into something powerful and with a haunting depth.

I want to see more shows like this, more shows that aren’t just “let’s put on some very old music as if this is a museum”, I want to see more synthesis and interpretation and digestion, I want to see more shows where the elements of popular music are applied to a classical orchestra.

This show was here years ago and I went with my oldest kiddo. This year she is overseas at school and I missed her so much. I don’t mind going out by myself to things like this, or movies, or even eating by myself in restaurants, but damn it gets super super lonely sometimes.

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bogwitchmediaconsumption · 1 year

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loups-garoux, my beloved

ok i meant to write this a while back but life got in the way etc etc so here it is: loups-garoux thoughts!

fucking ace. i've only started listening to big finish this year, and i've been doing it at a pretty slow pace all things considered. i've gotten through the first 20 of the main range so far, and i think this is easily top 3 maybe top 1 of them(competing with sword of orion for #1 and standing alongside fires of vulcan). I'll just start by saying WOW the world building in this story is incredible.

the brazilian desert, the casual mention of how they farmed out the amazon, the way that the starting moments inside robotic terminals immediately draw towards the idea that our locale is a somewhat lifeless place, and then prove it IS but not in the way you suspected? amazing. the desert being populated by wolves, the train takeover? it just makes it feel like this wild and untrodden terrain that perfectly ties into the lupine story of aggression and archaic battle politics.

a story that's aided so incredibly by it's characters. all of the side characters introduced in this story are just awesome and so interesting. ileana is a really cool character because she acts the way she acts for a reason, rather than out of some plot narrative damsel in distress way? not that she's REALLY a damsel but like, she tries to avoid action and be very respectful and stuff because of her past with pieter and she's come to believe that her life is best lived in other ways.

i also think this is what makes her such a great love interest for the doctor? the doctor is a character that's known so much loss and pain and rage throughout all their lives that someone else who's old and knows that life is the perfect fit. the fact that they're both trying to put a good presence out there in the world, to heal themselves and deal with their pain(especially 5, who's lost his companions to harsh disagreements and death). i love the little exchange between them where ileana(i think) says "i'm so much older than you could know" and the doctor basically just responds with "try me". once it's established, it feels so natural as a relationship that would turn romantic, the doctor tries to comfort ileana and prevent her from losing control of her anger because he knows that she doesn't want to while she provides a kind of old and wise companionship that the Doctor hadn't really gotten up until that point. Closest was Camica from The Aztecs, but 1 leaves her behind.

i also really love the way the story deals with love for the TARDIS crew. both 5 and Turlough(i haven't mentioned him yet but god he's a delight in this story) fall in love with someone that they meet in the wastes of Brazil, but they simply cannot stay with them. the pairs get cute and poignant moments, as do 5 and Turlough talking about their feelings, but ultimately they all recognize that they aren't on the same page and have to leave the relationship behind. Turlough and Rosa get a very fun uppity story that shows them taking shots at each other and gradually comfortable with each other while 5 and ileana naturally come together as the oldest and wisest people in the party(much like 1 and Camica, actually). just absolutely lovely, so good.

ok this already feels so long but i have so many more thoughts so i will quickly spitball

turlough was amazing and i think his self-preservation being such a focus in this story was really interesting for him

rosa subtly weaving in some native-american mythologies and beliefs was AWESOME, i love native american culture so much

the whole thing about their spirits being tied to the earth and pieter dying because rosa took him into the forest was a little ????? but i'll rule of cool it away because it does allow for a good character moment for rosa and him

i stand by what i said before, ileana is probably one of my favorite love interests for the doctor, and though i doubt it'd ever happen i'd love to see them meet again

ok bye

#doctor who #the doctor #classic who #fifth doctor #peter davison #big finish

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talesgolden · 1 year

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☘ : My muse’s relation with their family. (If they speak with each other and how much, if they are close or estranged, e.t.c.). for ag :)

(Symbol-based Headcanons)

Oh, oh boy. Listen so this is the way it seems to me, right now, but it’s subject to change because there’s a lot of people involved ok? But [cracks knuckles] here we go

Agnieszka considers all of the Chernabog shards/vessels/whatever you want to call them her siblings. They are coarse, they are dark, they are different, and they are hers. Her family. Even when they are unkind to her, even when she is unkind to them. Even when they are fighting and clawing and biting and ripping at each other, that is her den of devils, and she would defend and rescue and protect all of them. Any one of them. Mostly they are stronger than her and don’t really need help or protection, but that’s ok too.

She has a more benign personality than several of the others, but nevertheless keeps a very us-and-them view of the world which... in all honesty, is fair, really. She’s not a human or even mortal. Any other person she could potentially become close with is far more vulnerable, far less understanding, and distinctly going to die, someday. Her siblings are strong, know her nearly better than she understands what she is herself, and will live alongside her evermore, until the skies go black and maybe even longer. They don’t rightly know, yet. She is really quite neutral towards outsiders, but her family, her siblings, are everything. There is no one closer, and it’s unlikely that will change. Even if she were to fall out with any of them, her siblings would still vastly outweigh anything else you put before her. She loves them, through all. The world she could take or leave, really, as long as she could keep her siblings.

While they’re all roughly of similar ages (as in all within five years of each other, as they were all created in the same span of threat) she has a distinct role in the overall dynamic of being a younger sister to everyone except Flea. This means, like most younger sisters, she is generally a bit coddled by most of the others, and simultaneously their biggest bother. She is more manipulative than outside eyes tend to see, and sometimes it works and sometimes it just annoys the others. Resident master-pouter: she has puppy dog eyes and she’s not afraid to shamelessly employ them to get her way! And she is something of a pester-er, with many questions and a habit of trailing along behind one of the others in the hopes of being included. She is dear, she is dastardly. No doubt there are times she annoys the others to high heaven, but when things get serious and she calls for help, they are swift to her side and protective to homicidal degrees. They can bully her, you absolutely cannot.

uhhhhh for the next part I’ve done some plotting with the others for dynamics between siblings, but also I’m just going to assert some of this by the seat of my pants/the vibes of what I think the dynamics are probably like. So they’re subject to a little change, when/if we get more into talking about it, but--- more specific sibling-by-sibling info under the cut:

Hella: The most distant dynamic, Helvetica is quite independent and, further, quite different from safety-seeking Agnieszka. They don’t spend very much time with each other at all. Nevertheless, big sister hung the very stars in the sky and can do no wrong. Every now and then Ag will go into phases of trying to emulate her chaotic eldest sibling. It generally doesn’t end well for anyone involved.

Kon: Oldest brother, meanest brother. For his half, Konstantin carries a largely apathetic attitude everywhere he goes. He bullies his siblings as indiscriminately as anyone else he’s ever encountered, and Ag is no exception to this. She frequently tries to appeal to him despite being repeatedly and often harshly shut down. Sometimes she bites back, but mostly it just makes her sad that he claims to want distance— she thinks he’s bluffing, because she thinks he doesn’t want at all. She thinks she can fix that.. somehow. She’s got time to figure it out, and in the meantime she’ll keep making puppy eyes.

Freyja: Classic big sister/little sister dynamic, taller-little-sister syndrome included, with a spin of being strangers to each other for many of their early years. Freyja is so smart! and strong! and knows everything about everything!! Ag wants to learn from her, and frequently asks questions, repeats the the answers, and generally takes Freyja’s word as the definitive truth of everything. They’re aren’t super close, as yet, but Ag wants very badly for them to be. (So much so it might be the main obstacle to them actually being close. It’s hard to build on something idealized.)

Gonzo: Perhaps the most human-minded of the siblings, Zo is very bound to his mortal shape and the lives of many humans, and for that he Jagna don’t have much in common. He is also, though, fun! and good about being straightforward and clear with her, if somewhat blunt in a way that can hurt her feelings sometimes. He frequently intervenes when Kon is being particularly nasty, and is also likely to try to cheer her up when she’s feeling low. They aren’t necessarily tight-knit, but definitely good with each other. Ag will bite you for messing with Zo (you will not like it.)

Yana & Alexei: The twins, terse and tangled, are the siblings Kat & Ag have known the longest and leaned on the most. Yana & Alexei are the ones who discovered what was going on inside the church’s orphanage. They freed Katja & Jagna from their childhood of torment. The four of them spent some time as a unit, during which Kat & Ag gained their names and a new understanding of who -what- they even were to have been targeted as they were by the lord judge who held them captive. There is also a sense of understanding the four of them have, as each pair knows something of what the other feels and experiences as bonded duos. Two sets of twos, in slightly different fonts. Voted most likely to huddle together and hiss secrets in each others’ ears. Though, as I said, it seems broadly true the others are defensive of Ag, Yana & Alexei (& Kat) in particular will absolutely end you in a myriad of creative and very painful ways if you so much as think of hurting or harassing Agnieszka.

Katja: Jagna’s other half in a very literal sense. Too much to go into, and yet as simple as that. Though they have split and spread since the time they were one and the same, they remain deeply entrenched in each other, and although all of her siblings are dear, the honest truth of it all is that Katja is on another level. When Jagna wonders if she would survive the loss of her sister, it is not a metaphorical question. Could she exist without Kat? Well. No one will ever know, because no one will ever hurt Kat. Jagna is sworn to it. It’s what she was born for.

Valeria: Most likely owing to their proximity in age, griping and snarling and squabbling are the best words to apply to the relationship between Valeria and Ag (and by extension, Kat— or perhaps, it’s Val and Kat who have problems, and Ag who gets towed into it.... it’s hard to tell.) It is, mostly, affection in an antagonism hat, a vitriolic sort of normal that simply defines them to each other. That’s Val, she’s stinky. Sometimes, though, it escalates into them genuinely trying to wound each other, both emotionally and physically. Regardless, whatever stage of snippish, they’ll happily turn on a third party in tandem, to rip them to shreds should they think they have any right to antagonize one or the other, or even just stick their nose into it. Afterwards, they’ll go happily right back to criticizing each other.

Flea: Baby brother, beloved. Outside of Kat, he’s the sibling Ag feels the most close to. Both of them are somewhat less bound to their mortal bodies than the others seem to be, more at home in stranger, wilder forms. They spend a lot of time together, away from the lives and world and worries of humans. They see less of themselves in people, more from their siblings. From each other. Flea is the only sibling (Kat included!) Ag has never once argued with. They are all of them monstrous one way or another, but Ag and Flea seem the most inclined toward the inhumanity of it. Though they rarely acknowledge it in words, they hold common ground in that they seem to be formed from the Chernabog’s basest parts: the Shadow and the Beast; the darkness and the hunger.

#❖║headcanon / agnieszka.#oh yeah that's a fun fact for anyone who didn't know: all of the siblings have players none of them are npcs #we built a lil monster family owo #so these are my Takes from some building but may shift around or change entirely tbh it's just how the vibes feel currently

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sunflowersnpearls · 2 months

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Husbands' words are not matching actions and vice versa. Hes been "venting" to "me" in front of our oldest (turning 16 may 10) on our "current" marriage?....problem(s).

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and one time he asked me to play a song so I for one am so plugged up i cant really hear much, sometimes even music is too loud (sensory processing disorder) and I guess i didnt even hear him say something and the child caught on to what was happening and said "you're ignoring dad again"

So i spoke to her instead of him since she said it, & I said "I didnt ignore him. I didnt hear him. I was hyper focused on the song he requested me to play."

And then he went on just one of many other rants in front of her, asking "you dont think I ever hyper focus on anything? When Im home on my days off, I feel like im your servant" All day anytime I asked for help, to him I was demanding it and not appreciating stuff he did and then he would not stop talking about every single thing he did today around the house and for our children and its like.... ok cool.

And people get paid to do what i do here at home, every single day all day long. Didn't say it would be easy, however I did ask for help. He tried to say he understands im frustrated bcuz im home all day and i guess i interrupted and was rude bcuz i said "Its not THAT, at all" (cuz its...not?) Lastly i stumbled upon his fave song & started playing it & asked him to plz get me my night meds bcuz I am so fucking cold to the touch, esp to others. And moving makes it hurt.:// He said "You can just not play the song now. Thanks." So uhh.. Like all I am learning here is 1) I need to stop asking him to help me w/ literally anything and like he has said in the past which I clearly shouldve listened to: "If you (*me doing this: "cough" "cough") WANT something RIGHT NOW!, I'll have to get up and get it myself or wait until I he is ready to do it." And 2) I've been right all along. I cant count on even my own Husband so like uhh.... okay. And Now to him, I'm just a burden. Let alone ya know, i guess having influenza and not doing shit around the house "today" (literally just today, and actually, i still did some stuff which is better than none lol) and hes acting like he deserves a fucking gold medal. For what? Being a husband a father and taking responsibility of everything whilst your wife is ill? K. Never asking you for shit now. Ill send lists to him at work if the house needs anything. He hasnt had sex from me in a month because for the past 2 months steady, I have been sick with an upper respiratory virus affecting my asthma and everything else and now this so uhh, my bad. Next time I'll just faint (again) & hit my head probably (again) and then maybe, theyll see that hes just gonna send me by myself and come pick me up when Im done being in there because he has to sleep for work tomorrow. Not to ya know, dare mention that if the bulging disc in my spine "RUPTURES", all signs & symptoms of paralysis will hit fast & clearly that would become a huge Emergency Situation... So I was "told to do it anyway" by him even after explaining the deck was covered in thick broken shattered ice chunks and with my slip on shoes that are the only shoes i can wear, I told him "I'm not doing that" and now it's my fault it was left outside until when he came home (3 1/2 hours before home). I feel as if my health is a major burden to him and maybe its time for me to get an inhome nurse... Some people just arent built to take care of anyone else. And maybe idk, maybe he is starting to see that I a really honestly, not in love with him at this point anymore. Maybe tomorrow or next month or next whatever, or maybe never will I be back in love with him.It seemed to me like the exact day that he was hired on as a manager at his workplace, things shifted. He dropped a huge bomb on me. I had to then last night, inform my family that I'm doing gene testing to see if i am a carrier of a breast cancer gene for reasons. They're also testing for thyroid & ovarian seeing as those run heavily. My chances before gene testing was uncomfortable to talk to our 3 kids about but they were as accepting as they can be, as their Mother my main priority should be my health so that Incan get better so that I can continue to do what I freaking LOVE DOING SO MUCH!!!!!! Like I truly do so why continually, continually say outloud in front of the 3 kids that "well I've done all of this and all of this because you asked for help" and it all started over me asking him if he can take lily her cup of water since shes coughing so badly. My flu/asthma/sinus shit is awful and my heart problem make it hard for me to walk sometimes let alone climb stairs.... He's acting like he deserves a gold medal when im always keeping the house up and im not doing that. What im doing is showing him what all i have to do during the day, some updates on what i dod and whatever else i wanna send.

I told him that its unfair to us completely that he doesnt turn off "Manager" when he walks through the door. He had a conversation to me and said hes not gonna be able to shut that off when he comes home and he has to take on so much responsibilities and he feels like he needs to be inside the house alone without myself or the kids or the pets for like half a year to get his straight. Bruh. Like no. Just do better. Idk how many people told me that Id never do this and id never do that and here i am proving them wrong every single day.

But every time he speaks to me like this, I am taken back to a time where I was told "your mother never should've made you." At i think 4-5 years old? I am disabled for many reasons. And I can tell everyone all the time until I'm fucking blue in my own face that, when I say that I cant do something and I ask for help, the help is met with a "your legs work" or "you're capable. You just dont wanna wait" No duh. Thats why i said "now please". Would you rather I give you another reason to hit me 3x flat-cupped handed times on my face again and say that "If I wanted it right now and could have gotten it right now for myself"

Im tired of asking for help and being treated like nothing other than a burden and his biggest fucking problem. How was I supposed to know that I was going to this sick on your 2 days off and that every time I asked for anything, you were upset.

I guess i was right and I'm just a different person now because of trauma processing and healing. But being sick enough to make 4 separate appointments during the 2 month span and if this gets worse, this one too. So I feel like he wants me to say something to him or do something for him, but all Im getting from this is "do not ask me for anything". Isnt your spouse supposed to be the one taking care of you when youre sick? Hes already lost me emotionally. And right before our ten year wedding annivarsary. Cool.

Advice?

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awkward-smirks · 6 months

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instagram/life rant

cw: depression, peer comparison, isolation, oldest daughter problems

don't reply or message me about this. i'm ok! 💖 just needed to write tonight and don't want to talk.

it's my yearly hiatus from instagram. went into a manic frenzy — cursing, hissing, hair pulling from frustration and need — feeling extremely desperate to deactivate my account. so i did that just now. didn't really plan for this to happen today, esp bc i posted a story earlier and felt fine, but it usually happens around this time of year (typically after the high from my late sept birthday wears off and i'm hit with seasonal depression pretty strongly.)

it kinda sucks bc i actually really love instagram. i mainly use it to post on my stories. this year, i've been keen on making lil collages for the days i go out and have fun. i usually share these w close friends, throw it into my yearly highlight, and that's it. i also use it as my main texting app for my friends bc it's easy to reach them and i like the layout for DMs. so honestly, this has been the best and most healthiest year of using the app. my handle on fomo is better, my jealousy is doing a little better, i've gotten rid of some people from my awful stupid university (the people were not awful and stupid btw, we just didn't connect past going to the same school), and i've made my profile feel so much more like me photo-wise — books and colors and food and friends and memes and even selfies now. :)

but idk. this time of year hits me really hard. i feel the clawing need to disappear, to isolate, to rip myself out of my perfectly curated group of friends and stop existing to them. maybe it's bc i can't do it irl, but the temporary relief to not exist to my social circles feels so freeing even if it's one app.

a part of me feels like i'm also deeply ashamed of where i am at life now and there's a need to hide from the pity and judgement (that i'm probably just making up). i'm not comparing myself to my friends, but personally looking inwards, i'm not happy. i'm stagnant and disgusting and i don't want people to see me this unhappy.

i don't want to really talk about it with anyone. i'm stuck and i have the kind of problems no amount of support/talks from friends will help. everyone offers to listen but i don't ever want to talk. ever. it's gotten to the point where the only friends who stay with me are the ones who let me slink away in silence and know i'll be back when i'm ok again. they don't take my privacy offensively/personally. they've watched me through my depression and have never punished me for it, never threatened to leave or find a more available best friend or argue with me about it. the bar is low but i still appreciate it bc it takes a lot of trust and patience.

it's like ... i don't need people to help me out of my sadness. i need people to stay at a distance and wait. no words, no trying to make me feel better. just silent patience as i pull myself out. it just takes time. usually a few months, usually through the holidays. i'll still routinely call and they'll pretend like i'm ok while we talk and then we'll hang up and they'll wait until i come back. but the kindness to pretend - that's what i need.

but yeah. i'm unhappy. i'm very stuck in life. i want to throw up and lay down and sleep until i get it all out of me. until the sadness leeches out. until i wake up and my head isn't so foggy, when i'm not looking for my next distraction. i want to drive. i want to move away. i want to leave and be closer to my best friends. i love my city. i love my family. i rep both so hard. i just need a fucking break.

my parents want me to learn to drive and they really don't understand that once that happens, i'm not coming back for a long time. i love them. but if i don't do something to grow, my mind will rot here in my childhood room in my childhood twin sized bunk bed and the dresser from my dead grandmom fashioned into a desk for my 25-year-old self.

but that's enough of that. back to what i started this post about:

i deactivated instagram. i will escape for a little bit, and then i'll be back when i can pull myself together just enough to be presentable again.

#sandy rambling #low night tonight

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ramzawrites · 3 years

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can i request an angsty sbi fic where sibling reader lost two lives saving others (maybe tubbo at the festival?) and they see everything falling apart (techno and phil destroying everything, wilbur dead and tommy focused on the disks) and they pretend to be ok while their mental health gets worse and worse until they decide to end it, and people only realise they weren't okay after the death message pops up and their reactions to seeing it? if not thats completely fine, ik its pretty heavy

Broken

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Tommy, Philza, Tubbo, Technoblade

Warnings: depression, suicide (falling, non descriptive), angst

Series: a request!

Summary: Y/N just wanted their home back. They just wanted to live a peaceful life but instead all their hopes and dreams got ripped apart by the people they loved the most.

Words count: 3647

Authors Note: Honestly I could have shortened it quite a bit but here we are, it’s way longer than I wanted but I hope you guys enjoy this. I’m sorry if this went kind off of rails to what you might have envisioned. Also I hope that you guys know that you are loved and appreciated. I appreciate you for taking the time to read my stuff :] Here is m favorite video to cheer me up some times, hope it can cheer you up as well!

I’m also curious what your guys thoughts and opinion are on this or my writing in general! Can’t get better without feedback :]

Y/N loved their family.

They were all pretty chaotic but so was Y/N, following their siblings into trouble ignoring any possible consequences.

So when Wilbur proclaimed he would create an independent Nation inside the SMP that was owned by Dream himself, you bet that Y/N was standing right beside him.

When Wilbur would struggle with his tasks or was weighed down by doubts they would swoop right in and do their best to support him. Every time Wilbur would say “I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.” While Y/N didn’t do it for praise but out of love for him it was still nice knowing that he appreciated them and that he took note of their work.

Tommy wasn’t really for heartfelt words but he too expressed in his own way how much he appreciated them being around. Most of his schemes wouldn’t have even happened without Y/N’s help after all. As a way to say thanks he would let them just take stuff fout his chets or when he heard they needed a specific resource he would wander out and get it for them. Of course saying something on the lines of “I was out there anyhow, so I brought some with me. It was on the way.” Y/N could read between the lines though. They grew up with him after all.

Y/N put so much energy into L’Manberg they couldn’t help but be in love with this little nation. They would do everything to protect their home.

When Y/N lost their first life it was together with their siblings protecting their nephew Fundy.

The Dream Team suddenly retreated after another battle against L’Manberg. While the group was celebrating what they thought was their first victory in ages, Eret appeared. She told the group of a small bunker with more resources.

Still celebrating Wilbur, Y/N, Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy made their way towards the bunker. The bunker that would later go down into history as “The Final Control Room.”

Inside they all looked at the labeled chests only to notice that they were empty. Eret then pressed a button which opened up secret walls with the Dream Team standing behind. She herself got into safety as Dream and his friends merciless attacked the L’Manberg faction.

As soon as Y/N understood what was happening they did their best to form a wall between the attackers and Fundy. Slowly pushing him out of the room while they made sure to block the exit, giving the Fox Hybrid enough time to run away.

When they woke up again it was inside their home. In L’Manberg. Sore from the respawning.

Once they did respawn though it didn’t take long for Fundy to barge into their room and throw himself against them, thanking them. Wilbur was close by, looking worse for wear as well but incredible thankful nonetheless.

After that and a few battles more Tommy challenged Dream to a duel in order to secure independence. He lost so instead he bartered his music discs for freedom.

After Tommy respawned a second time Y/N made sure to spent most of their time hovering around him. Making sure he was doing alright.

But with that L’Manberg was independent and it was Y/N’s time to shine. Sure, they worked hard on strengthening the infrastructure of the nation but now, maybe even because of that, they basically coordinated all the new builds.

Shops, homes and other things were being build with them overseeing it. Meanwhile Wilbur and Tommy took care of the political part only to come to the conclusion that they had to have a proper election.

At first it started innocently enough as well. New political parties were made that begun advertising themselves. Funny enough they would always come to Y/N asking them where they could hang up their posters. It was then that Y/N realized that the people saw them as some sort of authority, even asking them if they wanted to start their own campaign. They politely declined, saying they worked best as a support role.

Then Schlatt entered the stage and everything got thrown upside down.

In the end he managed to become the next president via a coalition and his first declaration as the president, or emperor as he called himself, was to exile Tommy and Wilbur.

As they ran for their life Y/N didn’t hesitate to follow. It hurt them so much to leave L’Manberg, their fruit and labor, behind. This only got worse once they realized that Tubbo was basically left alone back at the city under Schlatt’s rule.

Then Pogtopia got established.

Tommy, Wilbur and Y/N did their best to get a proper foothold again. Gathering resources and planning for ways to get their home back. And to accomplish this they soon called in the oldest sibling of the group, Technoblade.

Techno has been away for the longest time now. He moved out early to travel the world and apparently train himself. Somehow Tommy found a way to get a message to him, so he made his way towards Pogtopia.

He wasn’t big on words or emotions but as soon as he arrived he let Y/N hug him.

“This is a onetime deal, Y/N.”

With Techno they finally felt like they had a chance. Y/N could maybe return home someday. Back when they were children Techno always looked out for them so to have him back Y/N felt infinitely safer.

All the while Wilbur showed more and more signs that his mental health was rapidly declining. Y/N did their best trying to cheer him up but there was only so much they could do. Especially since they themself were struggling.

L’Manberg was their everything and now it was under the iron rule of Schlatt. They had to watch as Schlatt walked through the nation, ripping apart builds that they commissioned or even built themself. Every time he did something like that it felt like another stab wound directly into their heart.

Then the festival happened where Y/N lost their second life protecting Tubbo.

Schlatt wanted to apparently celebrate democracy and his amazing rule. Tommy and Wilbur weren’t allowed to join while Techno and Y/N received an invitation.

Y/N was very wary of that. They learned from Tubbo that Schlatt apparently was pretty interested in bringing them over to Manberg since a lot of the residents trusted them and saw them more as an authority than Schlatt himself, so bringing them over would probably also bring a lot of the residents around to his rule.

On the day of the festival Y/N made sure to stay close to Techno. Holding on to his arm and basically hiding behind him, not feeling up to talk with all the people in Manberg.

The people were happy to see them but Y/N was tired. They haven’t slept properly ever since the exile, too many thoughts that kept them awake.

Then the speeches started.

Honestly Y/N wasn’t really listening, their attention purely on a broken old building. It used to be the place where Y/N and the other residents would meet up and map out their plans for new builds. Discussing and even sometimes arguing on what materials should be used and where to get them. Now it was empty.

Their attention got pulled back towards what was actually happening once Tubbo begun speaking. It was a nice little speech Y/N had to admit.

Just as Tubbo was about to leave, Schlatt moved back in. Holding him in place and pushing him in something that Y/N had to describe as a cage with the help of Quackity.

“Techno, buddy. Come up here for a sec.”

Technoblade tensed up but still moved towards the stage. There Schlatt uttered the words that pulled the rug out from beneath Y/N once again.

“Kill him Techno. He is a traitor.”

“Don’t you dare!” Y/N yelled out, making their way towards the stage as well.

Y/N knew Techno couldn’t deal well with social pressure, especially when there were about ten people or more behind him that could attack him at any point.

Tubbo looked so scared as he pressed himself against the wall. There was no escape for him.

When Techno moved his crossbow up, aiming directly at Tubbo, Y/N let out another scream. Urging him to stop.

Explosions. Colorful explosions filled the place.

“Y/N!” it was Tubbo screaming their name out.

Just as Techno pressed the trigger Y/N managed to jump in front, the rockets hitting them instead of Tubbo.

Their older brother looked absolutely mortified “Y/N? Wha- What? Why? How?” staring at Y/N’s lifeless body that slowly dissolved. They were slowly respawning but seeing his siblings body was enough to send him in some sort of frenzy.

Filled with bloodlust he aimed his crossbow towards Schlatt and Quackity. Killing them with one press of the trigger only to turn around and aim his crossbow towards the people.

As this happened Tommy enderpearled over, screaming at Techno.

He helped Tubbo out of the cage who was still in a state of shock. He only saw Y/N for a second and the next they were laying on the ground in their own blood.

Y/N heard the details later after they respawned. Tommy had apparently been incredibly angry at Techno, even attacking him. Wilbur then offered that the two deal with their argument via a fistfight inside a pit.

Normally Y/N would have yelled at Wilbur for that. Would have told him that this was his dumbest idea yet but they were too shook from what had happened to them.

Technoblade always spelled safety to them but he killed them. Sure, he meant to kill Tubbo but that didn’t really make it any better. They gave him an out, they would have helped fighting off all these people so they could flee.

The next time they saw Techno they flinched every time he got too close to them and yet they still put on a smile “Never, do this again.”

Techno only nodded.

After this downward slope the momentum didn’t seem to stop for them. Wilbur dropped even more and more off. Falling victim to his paranoia. Y/N tried their best convincing him to not blow up Manberg, that they will fight to gain it back. At this point trying to gain back their L’Manberg was the only thing they could hold on to.

Though all that work was for nothing.

The war to take back L’Manberg went way differently than they all had imagined. Y/N fought with a viciousness most didn’t think they had it in them. This was the day for them to finally regain what they had wished for, for the longest time now.

Everything came to a halt once Dream surrendered. He showed them Schlatt who was sitting in the Carmavan. Drunk off his mind he yelled and screamed at people only to die of a heart attack which meant that the Pogtopia faction won.

The people begun cheering, they had their home back! They were free! Y/N was probably the loudest by far. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from their shoulders. All this hardship and they could finally return to working with the others and rebuild L’Manberg. Return it to its former glory.

Tubbo got appointed President and Y/N was happy with it. Tubbo had an eye for building and was a good person, with him they were sure they could do some amazing things.

Apparently Techno thought otherwise. Instead he pulled Soulsand out, holding onto the Wither skulls as a visible threat.

Y/N had somewhat forgiven Techno for what had happened. It was a stressful situation and they acknowledged it but seeing him there, threatening to kill all of them? That they knew they couldn’t forgive quite so easy. Especially since he made some sound points but it was their L’Manberg. The people didn’t like living under Schlatt’s rule, this wasn’t something that could be described simply as a coup. Technically he was right but only technically. There were so many things that came into play that could let you argue over that but Techno would have none of it. Yelling something about Tommy only wanting to be a hero.

When the first explosions rang Y/N thought it came from a Wither but Techno was still in the middle of putting the heads onto the structure.

When more explosions rang and the ground beneath their feet broke away, Y/N understood what had happened.

At some point Wilbur ran off and must have pressed the button. The button that set the TNT beneath the city ablaze, effectively destroying everything.

Y/N was too busy with finding hard ground again and then dealing with the Withers and Techno that they only noticed after the fighting ended, how broken the nation was now.

They had won. Why would Wilbur do this? He knew how much the nation meant to them and again, they had won, so there was no reason for blowing the place up!

And if that wasn’t enough to see how both their older brothers destroyed everything Y/N worked for, they also had to see how Philza, their father, stood next to the corpse of Wilbur. It felt like they lost everything.

They lost their trust in Technoblade.

They lost their hopes and dreams via Wilbur blowing up the freshly liberated L’Manberg.

They lost their trust in their own father who had slain his own son.

Y/N felt absolutely crushed. Family was so important to them and it was their own family that destroyed their hopes and dreams. They did everything for them and this is how they repaid them?

Once everything calmed down and Tubbo begun making plans on how to rebuild the nation, he immediately came to Y/N for help but they hesitated which worried him.

“Is everything okay? Usually you would have jumped on that offer, Y/N.”

Y/N put on a smile that didn’t seem to reach their eyes “Don’t worry Tubbo, of course I’ll help you. I’m just tired from what we have been through. I finally have time to take a breather and I think it all just crashed down on me.”

“Well if you ever need help you can talk to me.” It was an earnest offer that Y/N would never take advantage of.

Y/N mostly ignored Philza. He talked with them a few times and even explained what has happened but Y/N still made a wide berth around him. Seeing him just hammered back down the feeling of distrust and hurt. Their familial relationship took a hard hit from that point on.

With Ghostbur it was a weird situation as well. They enjoyed spending time with him but were also always incredibly sad around him. Ghostbur took notice of this and would always offer them to take some of his blue but Y/N declined every time.

“Don’t worry Ghostbur. Everything is still just fresh in my mind. I’ll be back to my old self in no time. You take care of yourself, you hear?”

“Of course Y/N! You have always looked out for me, thank you.”

L’Manberg slowly took on a proper form again but it wasn’t the L’Manberg Y/N knew. It felt to them like they were standing on top of a grave. A grave for their dreams and it was getting hard, real hard, to walk through it every day seeing places where they know specific buildings should be standing. Buildings they build on their own only to be destroyed by their brothers doing.

Then Tubbo exiled Tommy and Y/N felt conflicted. They felt obligated to stay in L’Manberg since they were the main person people came to for builds but that was their brother. Their only brother they still trusted and felt a need to protect.

Instead of following him into exile they stayed in the city. Visiting Tommy whenever they could, noticing pretty fast that he was struggling hard with his situation and for once they didn’t feel strong enough to properly support him. Y/N tried their best but once they noticed they couldn’t reach him completely they gave up a tiny bit.

It reminded them too much of Wilbur.

So while they visited him and helped them where they could, they spent more and more time alone in their home only coming out for work and other necessary things like food. Soon it was normal to see them with ever present dark circles beneath their eyes.

Before Philza disappeared to join Techno, he would stop by Y/N’s home all the time.

“Have you eaten, yet?”

“Yes, dad. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“I just haven’t seen you much lately and I got worried.”

“Don’t worry. I’m fine. Hey, if you go out, please, can you tell Ghostbur to stop coming around to throw Blue inside my mailbox? He won’t listen to me but perhaps he will to you.” And they would always carry the same big smile on their face accompanied by empty eyes.

The only time their happiness reached their eyes again was when Tommy returned from his exile. They crashed into their younger sibling holding him close to them and muttering apologies. He pried them off, embarrassed by all of this.

This short bout of happiness was destroyed by Doomsday. Dream, Technoblade and Philza once again made sure to set L’Manberg ablaze.

The second time Y/N’s fruits and labor got completely annihilated by their family but still they had some hopes this time. They still had Tommy on their side they could just finally build a home somewhere else and live in peace but Tommy had other ideas. He had it in his mind to get his discs back and he would do anything for it.

So while Y/N tried to ground themself with new hopes and ideas, holding onto the only constant of what was important to them, that being Tommy, Tommy ignored them. He was too busy with his own things and the worst part was that Y/N couldn’t even fault him for it.

They understood how much these discs meant to him and that this was something that had to come to an end but with this they lost another, and possibly their last, anchor point.

Yet you could still see them running around with a smile, tending to every one and trying to help out the best they could.

Then suddenly they were gone. They just disappeared one day. The few people who took note of that took some time to look around but there was no sign as to where they left. Y/N didn’t take their armor with them nor any weapons or food.

< Y/N succumbed to despair and fell of a high place>

When every ones communicators rung out with this message the SMP fell quiet.

Tommy couldn’t believe what he was reading. This didn’t make any sense. Y/N was fine! They would talk with them and everything looked fine! This must have been a cruel joke from Dream somehow, right? This couldn’t be real. Why would Dream do this? This didn’t seem to make sense.

Exactly there was no sense in Dream doing this.

While Tommy was battling with his thoughts Tubbo came running over to him. Tears streamed down his face.

“What happened? Why did this happen? Where are they?”

Tommy was visibly shaking “I- I have no idea. I don’t know. They looked fine. I’m- I’m not sure. Tubbo-“

Tubbo just slammed into him, giving him a proper hug, trying his best to help Tommy through his rising panic. He lost another sibling and by Ender that hurt.

Meanwhile in the snowy Tundra both Philza and Techno were staring at their communicators as well.

Philza was pale. So pale it almost rivaled the snow around him.

Techno had his brows furrowed. For anyone who didn’t know him well enough he looked at best displeased with this situation but Philza could see the small details that told a different story. Him sucking his breath in as he read the message, hiding his quivering lip in his cloak. He was heartbroken.

Sure the two weren’t on good speaking terms but Y/N was still his younger sibling. He still loved them.

Philza felt similar. He acknowledged that he screwed up and honored their wish to be left alone by him but he never imagined this could lead to their death. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground. Two of his children died, one directly by his hand and the other due to his inaction.

His eyes glossed over, the world became a blur and yet he continued rereading this message over and over. Y/N just lost their last life.

Philza could hear Techno walk closer to him and sat down on the ground as well.

“Y/N is-“ Philza begun but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. State the obvious to his eldest son?

“I have more fault in this than you, dad. Don’t feel guilty.” His voice was uncharacteristically weak. Wavering as he spoke. He wanted to cheer Philza up but it was a weak attempt.

“What have we done.”

Ghostbur was at first confused when he read the message. It was like he couldn’t connect the dots but it slowly dawned on him what this meant.

“Oh my.” His usual happy demeanor was suddenly gone.

He touched his face and as he put his hands back down he saw how they were smeared with blue.

“Y/N is dead?”

His usual ghost behavior seemed to break a bit. It was like through the warped version of Wilbur that was called Ghostbur for a moment the true version of him came through again. And he was hurt. Devastated.

“I think I need to find the others.” He mumbled to himself, making his way towards his family. All the while he held onto the blue wool of Friend like a lifeline. Combing through it nervously. Blue continuing to spill from his eyes.

#mcyt x reader #mcyt reader insert #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt x Y/N #dream smp reader insert #dream smp fanfiction #dream smp x reader #dream smp x Y/N #dsmp fanfiction #dsmp reader insert #dsmp x reader #sbi #sleepy bois inc #ramza writes #Anonymous #anon request

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superthiccthighssavelives · 2 years

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Can I please request a Taron Imagine where the reader is sick in bed and he takes it upon himself to take care of the kids and the house. and then once the older kids are in bed, Taron, the reader and the baby are in their room and maybe the baby says their first word?

I hope this is ok, just let me know if you want anymore detail😊😊

So I ever so graciously requested this beautiful human to hook me up with an imagine so I could get back to writing again, I know it’s been WAY too long. Way too long. If anyone is even still interested in my writing that is...anyway

Thank you doll! I’ve never written kids before, and this was an absolute blast to write. I hope I did your vision justice.

Mostly cute kid stuff, and a little bit of ~spice ~ (playlist is key for that part, listen here;...Onward!

If you asked me 10 years ago where I’d be, I’d never even fathom to guess I’d be a mom, or a wife, or living some domesticated normal life in a foreign country, but here I am, 2 kids running around and another fresh out of the womb while dishes soak in the sink, cheerios smooshed into the carpet and the littlest one screaming for milk.

My head was pounding, and I was feeling a bit nauseated, leaving me weak and tired.

Taron was at work, thankfully filming close to home so that he would be able to travel back and forth frequently so it didn’t become a problem.

I wanted to sit down and take a breather, but with the kids being so full of energy and the baby needing my attention, it was impossible. I felt a sudden rush of warmth come over my body, using a dry diaper to fan myself. I didn’t have time, or patience to deal with whatever I was going through, I had far too much to do.

After warming up some milk, the baby was calmed, bottle tightly clung to her little lips, swaying gently in her tiny glider swing.

“Mooooooooooom! Evan took my toy! Mooooooooooom” I heard a mile away from the kitchen, followed by a banging sound and eventually a high pitch scream and the start of a tantrum. I sighed, slowly getting the strength to pull myself up from the chair I’ve had a whole 30 seconds to sit in.

“What’s the problem guys?”

My oldest, Avery was on the floor, wailing and kicking, screaming and throwing the biggest fit whilst her younger brother Evan stood looking unphased playing with the toy Avery claimed he stole.

Through her crocodile tears and exaggerated puffs of breath, she tried to explain how she was playing with the plastic dinosaur when Evan took it from her, even though she set it down just “for a second” to get something else, he stole it. Avery was 5 going on 25, with an attitude to match, Evan had just turned 3 but was seemingly, at least to Avery, a huge pain in the butt.

The kids usually get along, and aren’t typically this crazy, maybe it was just because I was tired, and Taron was away for a few days and the new baby was draining all my physical and mental health.

“Did you put it down, or did he take it from you?”

“He…*exaggerated hiccups of breath*...took…*more hiccups* itttttt”

“Alright, alright, calm down” I pulled her close, petting her hair, showing my best sympathetic assurance that everything would be ok. “Remember, we share? you put it down and Evan wanted to have as much fun as he saw you having.”

Avery sniffled, using the back of her tiny little hand to wipe her nose. “Fine! I found something else BETTER anyway” She jumped up carrying off the new toy to the other side of the room.

I rested for a moment, knees on the soft area rug below, wanting to just lay down. I was feeling more and more drained by the second.

I flung myself up to check on the baby, she was fast asleep, the glider still lulling slowly.

Evan wandered in claiming his tummy was growling at him. “Gwilled cheese mama, I want gwilled cheese!” while he tugged on the stained leg of my joggers. “Ok buddy, want to go ask Avery if she wants some too?” He nodded, running off to his sister.

A few seconds later Avery’s voice boomed from the other room. “Grilled cheese is GROSS! I want pizza!” As her voice got closer, but still just as loud, she chanted “Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!” “Mommy I want pizza, not yucky grilled cheese.”

“How about a grilled cheese pizza?” She scrunched her nose making a face like it was the most absurd thing she had ever heard. “YUCK!” “NO!”

She amused me. “Ok, ok, pizza it is. Evan, do you still want grilled cheese?”

He nodded, giving me a low “yes” as he zoomed his matchbox car across the floor.

It was Friday, nearing dinner time, I don’t even think I had eaten today either. I decided to put my pizza grilled cheese idea to work for myself. I put on some music, while digging out all the ingredients.

The kids wanted to help, which was fine with me, I loved showing them small things like this, while getting quality time. Their little faces were the world to me, and watching them smile and light up melted my heart.

After making a mess, I started cooking, while the kids colored at the kitchen island. The baby began stirring awake, ready for a change I'm sure. I gathered her in my arms, tending to her needs. After a fresh diaper, and a new footie pajama onesie on, I placed her on her toy mat to play with her mobile.

I grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge, feeling suddenly parched. I drank it in record time, catching my breath after hearing the crinkle of the empty plastic.

“Thirsty?” Taron’s voice mocked. If I had any water in my mouth, I would have spit it out. “What're you doing home?”

My face wore a surprised expression, definitely not expecting him home for a few days.

“We’re ahead of schedule, so we got a few days off, surprise!”

“Daddyyyyyyy” both kids cheered, immediately springing up to clasp onto each of his legs.

Taron leaned down, giving them his full attention, hugs and kisses. The kids couldn’t contain their excitement having their daddy home, each babbling about what was going on in their days. He tried his best to pay attention, and listen carefully to Avery’s grievance about the toy incident earlier, and Evan’s commentary on his matchbox car races. I caught his eyes mostly on me though, and I couldn’t wait to get him next.

I finished cooking, plating the food, and awaiting my turn.

I felt his arms around me, bringing me close, my back to his chest, while his mouth close to my ear whispered how much he missed me.

I leaned into him, closing my eyes, my hands over his. “Mmm, me too.”

“Hungry?”

He nodded, taking a seat with the kids. I cut my grilled pizza cheese thing in half, offering it to him. I took a bite, but for some reason, I wasn’t all that hungry anymore. I actually felt even more nauseated than I had earlier. I passed the remainder to him, and went to grab the baby.

The kids had so many things to tell daddy, and how they helped cook dinner, and school stuff and and and… They really adored him and he just as much them.

I sat back down with the baby, her resting against my chest. I closed my eyes as my hands lazily rubbed her back as she cooed into my ear. I was so, so, so tired.

“Babe, you ok?”

My eyes sprung open, I was starting to drift. “Hmm? Yeah, I just am a little tired.” I sighed internally thinking about the mess still to clean, and the dishes, and giving the kids baths and it just never ended. Normally, it's fine but, god, I was exhausted for some reason and it all seemed like I was trying to climb up a steep mountain.

I really just wanted to go to bed, and sleep for like, a day.

I felt my eyes starting to flutter again, and then the baby being lifted from me. “Why don’t you go lay down, I’ll take care of things.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I promise, I can sleep later.”

“Babe, come on, you look exhausted.”

I knew I was tired, but that comment made me a little angry. I shot him a pointed look, glaring my eyes, and scrunching up my nose, but that anger went away just as fast when he was at my side, using his free hand to rub the back of my neck. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” He quietly purred into my ear.

I leapt up, trying to sustain what little energy I had left into cleaning up the mess on the counter. He shook his head, setting the baby down to help me.

We finished, leaving the dishes for later and rounded up the kids for bath time.

After a mountain of bubbles, and splashing and playing, the kids were dried and tucked away after story time, off to dreamland. Baby 3 was snoozing, gently humming away in her crib.

I collapsed on the bed with a thud, while Taron trolloped off to shower. I tried my best to keep awake, wanting as much one on one time with my husband as I could get.

I put on some upbeat music to keep me awake, even though my body was so comfy and so warm and so ready to conform to la la land. I had hoped the energetic beat and rhythm would be enough to make me want to move, or at least, not crash.

The overwhelming blissful scent emanating from Taron fresh out of the shower lying next to me made my mouth water, I wanted to inhale every bit of him into my lungs. I rolled over, bringing my body closer to his. Teensy waterdrops still clung to his flesh, towel wrapped around his waist covering the rest of him. It felt like months or even years since we’ve been alone together, I’m exaggerating of course, but the need for him was stronger than ever, and I was going to take advantage of what little strength I had left to show him just how much that need was.

My lips found a home on his chest, my tongue licking the droplets still clinging to his skin. I moved down, kissing his belly, heat radiating off him, making me warmer. His hand nestled into my hair, his other arm behind his head, enjoying my sudden display.

“Mm babe, I’ve missed you.”

I scooched myself up needing to feel his lips on mine. I straddled myself firmly on top of him, using my right hand to bring his face closer. I let my thumb caress his cheek, and then the soft skin of his lips while my eyes penetrated his, trying to show my desire without words.

His eyes searched mine, showcasing a lustful but intense gaze. His mouth was quickly against mine, a display of deep, sticky kisses, heads turning and breath heavy.

The fire inside me grew wilder, wanting more of him, more kisses, more connection. His hand made contact with my hips under my tee, soothing while grasping firmly enough to almost bruise. His need matched mine, infallibly. We fit like that, always in perfect sync. My clothes felt like a weight that needed to be removed, causing too much distance between us. In an instant, they were discarded, a pile on the floor, Taron’s towel tossed across the room.

His lips traveled where they could reach, my shoulders, chest, neck, ears, my own lips, leaving a viscid trail of lust.

I groaned, writhing in agony, needing more contact, I needed every part of him against every part of me. And now.

“Babyyyy” I moaned, and whined faintly, craving just so much more. “I need you.”

His body pushed forward, bringing his chest to meet mine, his mouth attacking my neck, while my fingers kneaded and threaded through his hair, gripping and holding on for life.

His matching groans against my skin sent me into overdrive, greedy for more. Feeling his increasing breath, hot and humid, showering over me, just from our bodies being this close was incredible. I felt his yearning, exceeding mine, knowing how much better it was about to get.

He slipped inside me without hesitation, my body covering itself with goosebumps, exhaling a clamored cry of passion and pleasure.

I loved hearing his voice bellow and wail, and feeling his hips thrust up to meet mine. With every movement, every plunge, he dived deeper into me, my breath shaking, my being quivering, my head floating into the clouds.

He knew how to touch me, and how to make me absolutely feral, and he did it well.

I wanted to watch him, see how his face contorted with ecstasy, watch him bite his lip trying to control his volume, but my eyes couldn’t open, the feeling was too good.

Fingertips pressing into and gripping my hips harder and harder, pulling and practically clawing at my skin, trying to get even closer, to crawl all the way inside of me. I found a rhythm, rocking my body in time with his, hitting the highest point of rapture imaginable. My back arched, leaning back, so he could study what he had been missing. He grunted, biting his lips harder, hands roaming over my skin, murmuring how much he loved my body and how ‘absolutely fucking gorgeous’ I was as intelligble as he could in this state.

I could barely hold myself up anymore, the bliss was overtaking me. Taron must have sensed it as I was flipped on my back, my leg flung over one of his shoulders, and my lower half pulled violently towards him. He wasted no time getting back to work.

He was concentrated, his face twisted, while his lips cooed beautiful obscenities, bringing me higher and giving me vigorous butterflies.

“Fuck, baby, uhhhhhh” He could barely get words out, the intoxication of it all was almost too much.

“You feel, uh, shit, so, fucking…uhh, good”

All I could do was whimper and try to keep my screams to a minimum. (I didn't want to wake the kids.) I repeated his name, and tried to tell him the same, but like him, it was broken, filled with gaps of heavy breathing and groans of delectation.

His body thrust harder and harder, while he held me in place, making sure I felt him fully, I was reaching the point of exaltation, no longer able to control my voice or what my own body was doing.

He hit the right spot repeatedly, causing the peak to rise fast, and making me ready to conform to it all.

He growled my name, like an animal that just caught his prey, his fingers encased into my skin as he closed in on releasing.

I never wanted it to end, he’s ever only been the one who could make me react like this, I’ve never felt such absolute fucking euphoria.

The pace quickened, both of us ready to give in, hands and legs twisted, gasping for air as our lips collided over and over, whimpering ‘I love yous’ and lamenting fervorous exclamations.

“I’m gonna cum baby… fuck…cum with me…” His head lowered, coming to rest on my chest as his body stiffened after one last feverish plunge. My body hit a high note, and succumbed. My voice croaked one last declaration, unleashing the last bit of stamina I had. Our chests raised and fell in time, breaths matching in shortness and immensity, my hands weaving through his hair. His mouth spread over my chest, leaving little kisses and finally reaching my lips.

He told me again how much he missed me, how much he loved me and was glad to be home.

I smiled, using the last of my strength to touch his face, and return his lovely words. I yawned, ready to crash, my eyes fluttering and heavy. I felt one final kiss on my forehead before I was out.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke slowly, yawning and stretching, smelling breakfast cooking. The bed was empty beside me. I kicked off the blankets, feeling overheated, and dying of thirst, my throat scratchy and raw. I groaned trying to propel myself up, but my energy was fully depleted.

I had to pee, and my stomach was gurgling. I didn’t know if it was from hunger, or nausea, but it didn’t feel too great. I attempted to roll off the bed, maybe to give me some momentum to get myself to the toilet.

I instantly felt feeble, the aches and irritation my muscles were feeling made me want to collapse.

“Mommyyyyyyyyyy, we made you breffest in bed!” Evan came bursting in, door slamming against the wall, excitedly exclaiming “Me! And daddy and Avwey!” His volume was at a 20 and my head wanted to explode. I was half off the bed, still trying to move. “Aww thanks buddy.” I tried my best, but my voice barely came out, needing something to quench the unbelievable burning in my throat.

Taron caught my eye, giving me a concerned look. “You alright love?”

I blinked a couple of times, nodding slowly. “I think so, I don’t know, I have to pee and I’m desperate for a drink.” My hands rubbed the bottom of my neck feeling soreness.

He was instantly at my side, taking it upon himself holding my hands to lift me up. My struggle to move was all too visible even though I tried my best to hide it.

“I probably slept wrong or something” I lied, not wanting to show any weakness in front of him. I staggered to the bathroom, doing my business and drinking a few drops of water out of the tap. I winced, feeling it drip down my throat. “Fuck.” I did not need to get sick right now, I only had my husband home for a couple days and I didn’t want to spend it suffering in bed.

I pokily made by way back to the bedroom, resting back on the bed. My back was killing me, and my whole body felt like I had just been run over by a truck.

Taron sat beside me, kissing my forehead. “Babe, you’re warm, are you sure you’re alright?” The back of his hand making contact after his lips.

I flopped down, aligning my head on the satin pillow. All I could do was groan. “Honestly, I feel like total garbage, my throat hurts, my body hurts, and my head is pounding.”

Taron covered me up, tucking me in tightly. “Get some rest sweetheart, I’ll take care of things today.”

My face scrunched, feeling bad to leave with him with my usually Saturday routine. “Too much babe, you can’t, no I can do it, I just need a minute.”

“Absolutely not! You need to relax, I’ll bring you some water, is there anything else you’d like?”

“Taron…” He shushed me, putting a finger to my lips. “It’s not your sole responsibility to do everything, I’m here now and I’m perfectly capable of handling it, now tell me if besides the obvious, what needs to be done.”

I whined, half rolling over, hating how much this was taking out of me. I mumbled off a few things as best as I could remember, and closed my eyes, the light was much too bright and the hammering on my skull was being intensified by it.

I felt his hands brush through my hair a time or two then silence. A few moments later he crept in with a bottle of water and some aspirin. “Here, take these, and go to sleep, I’ll be in to check on you in a bit.”

His lips clung to mine for a second, and then silence again replacing him. I took the aspirin, downed half the bottle of water and crashed.

Taron took charge, strapping the baby into a carrier against his body, after putting on a movie to keep the little ones occupied and started work loading the dishwasher.

“♬Whistle while you work…♬”

He sang along, whilst the dwarves chorused on the screen, bouncing the baby, amusing her with giggles and coos. Her precious little face in love with daddy’s smile. Avery and Evan joined in, jumping up and down holding hands in the living room.

They completely adored old Disney movies, especially the musical parts, and loved to sing along with daddy during them.

They seemed to be on their best behavior, for now, making it easy on Taron to complete the small tasks left in the house.

He made lunch (ham&cheese, with some crisps and fruit slices, and of course, juice boxes to quench their little thirsts), he fed the baby a bottle or two, he changed her and put her down for a nap, he raced Evan in an intense hot wheels matchup, and he had a tea party with Avery, making it look so effortless.

But of course, small children get restless and their energies build. It wasn’t long before the baby was crying, Evan had broken a vase after one of his remote control cars went flying across the room and Avery had taken it upon herself to scold him, in turn receiving a gentle, but firm one from Taron, sending her to the couch for a 10 minute time out.

She pouted of course, arms crossed, and huffed and puffed the whole time. “Are you ready to be nice to your brother now Avery?”

Her face scrunched up, not wanting to conform. “Avery…?” Taron’s face took a more serious tone, questioning her. “Daddy, he’s soooo annoying!”

Taron tried not to chuckle, and remained ‘stern’. “Until you learn how to be nice, you’ll have to stay in time out.” His voice was soft, trying to coax out her kindness.

She sighed, heavily, “Fine daddy, I’m sorry.” Her halo appearing above her head with a convincing smile. “You need to apologize to Evan, love.” Another sigh, followed by another even more angelic smile. “Ok daddy.” and off she skipped to ‘apologize’ to her brother.

I heard the door open, only because it squeaked occasionally, Taron peeking in to check on me. I stirred, feeling the bed next to me sink. He checked my temperature again and pet my hair. His voice barely above a whisper asking if I needed anything after he saw that I had a momentary lapse in my rest.

“Water, please?” He looked too concerned, caressing my face. “Are you sure nothing else?”

I languidly shook my head. I mean, I could go for a full body massage after I sleep 100 more hours, but really, the water was good enough for now.

I wanted to get up so badly and spend time with everyone together, this was such a bummer.

“Taron…” He waited, but I couldn’t get anything else out, my throat was on fire. “I’ll be right back love.”

The door opened, a shrill screech pursued. “DADDY!” Tears streaked Evan’s face, his tiny mouth forming into a frown, lips quivering. Avery followed, yelling at loud as her voice could carry. “Daddy, daddy, I’m sorry!”

The door shut, my mind wondering what the hell just happened, wanting to get up to check. I groaned again, unable to even wiggle a finger let alone impel myself foward or up.

The kids talked in unison, Avery saying it was just a game, and trying to deescalate the situation, while Evan’s tears rained down, to where he could barely make sense. Their yells woke the baby, resulting in more cries.

“Kids, shhh, mommy’s not feeling well, we have to be quiet.” He put a finger to his lips, attempting bring the volume down. “Now, tell me what’s going on.” Evan was picked up, placed on daddy’s hip. “What happened buddy?”

Taron did his best to wipe the tears, calming him. His breath stuttered, trying his best to speak. Avery’s voice boomed over his, babbling and repeating ‘I’m sorry’

She followed Taron as he walked back towards the kitchen where the baby was fussing so he could ensure she was alright.

Avery had taken one of Evan’s mini cars and put it in the disposal as an “experiment” as she called it, resulting in disaster.

The car was toast, and the disposal was in need of repair. “I was jus trying something daddy, I’m sorry.”

“Avery, please, go sit down for a moment.” Her face fell, and the tear stream began, she felt bad, and really was sorry, Taron knew it wasn’t on purpose.

He set Evan down, kneeling to meet him. “It’s ok buddy, we’ll get you a new one, alright? Don’t worry, ok?” He gave him a sympathetic look and a big hug, assuring him everything would be fine. Evan nodded, sniffling. “K.”

Avery sat quietly, awaiting her turn with daddy, tiny tears enveloping her face. “Daddy” she hiccuped “I’m sorry” Her voice was absolutely trembling. “Sweetheart, it’s alright, but we’re not going to do that again are we?” Her little head shook, obviously remorseful. Taron squeezed her as tight as he could and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

“I think it’s time we all settled down for a bit eh? It’s getting late, and we need to eat dinner and then bedtime, right guys?”

The kids agreed, relaxing quietly on the couch nestled in blankets, while Taron tended to the baby, once again strapping her on to begin dinner.

“Bounce, bounce, bounce” He hummed, keeping the littlest one happy.

After dinner, things settled down, everyone in a pile on the sofa, cuddled and enjoying one of daddy’s animated movies. I was checked on a few times, a couple by Taron, and a couple by the kids, leaving me a picture they had colored for me to see when I felt better, I was so very lucky to have such a wonderful family. I had been sleeping for the better part of the day and into the evening, feeling guilty, and weak, and bleh. This was terrible.

Sometime around 10, I think, the door creaked open, Taron entering with the baby for a goodnight kiss, after putting the kids to bed.

“Babe, how you feeling?” I gave him a lazy half smile, trying to muster any sort of animated response. I didn’t even know how to answer, so I just said “Thank you.”

He smiled, laying down to face me, the baby between us. “What for?”

“Everything, I can’t imagine what that ruckus was about earlier, and for dealing with all the house stuff, and the kids, and…”

He shushed me once more, “You know this is a partnership, you don’t ever have to thank me for doing my share.”

I sighed. “I’m so lucky.” Another lazy smile spread across my face, my hand sluggishly reaching for his cheek. “I love you.”

He reciprocated my sentiment, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around the baby, smothering her in tiny kisses of her own. Her giggle was infectious, bringing the biggest grin to my face.

Her eensy-weensy warm hand reached up resting on my cheek, cooing. “Hi.”

I gasped. “Did you just talk? Did she just…?”

Taron chuckled, “I think she did.”

“Hi sweetheart” I repeated back, enveloping her with even more kisses. “You’re so precious, I love you with all my heart.” I couldn’t help the overflow of emotions from it all, I teared up, realizing how truly fortunate I was to have an amazing husband, wonderful children and this life.

Taron echoed me, his eyes watering, not only reacting to my emotions, but his own. I can’t believe how synchronically together we were, how amazingly well we were matched in spirit and soul.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#taron egerton imagine #taron egerton oneshot #fic #writing #taron egerton x you #taron egerton fic #writing prompt

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mindofharry · 3 years

Text

In which mafia!bucky had a hard day and you know just the thing to help.

mafia!bucky is here!! ahh!! i’m so obsessed with the mafia!bucky concept, i think it fits his character so well. smut, bucky having a hard day (and penis) and you being an absolute sweetheart! happy reading, loves <3

James buchanan barnes is having a hard day.

He’s having a hard day without you. You both met in high school when james, known to you as bucky, was just starting out and taking over his fathers ‘business’. You started off as the best of friends, but everyone knew that you were buckys, and buckys was yours. What you knew of the barnes family business, was that it was a restaurant and the oldest child in the family would take over. What you didn’t know until you and bucky started dating was that it was all a front. The restaurant is real, people in the family are employed as chefs and waiters. But bucky isn’t just the boss of the restaurant, he’s all the boss of a gang. The biggest gang in brooklyn.

Of course you were shocked, you had met just about every person in buckys family and none of them gave you a bad vibe. Looking back, you probably should’ve noticed. It was a shock, it did take you a couple of weeks to digest and get over. But you understood why bucky couldn’t tell you. Maybe you were too naive, but you loved bucky, and you were going to let him go over this. He was trained for this and you know he wouldn’t let anything happen to you. You trust him with your life.

From then, you’ve both been inseparable. Everyone knew that you would be married in couple years, so you knowing about the family business didn’t bother them. And buckys parents had known you since you were a little girl, they trust you just as much as you trust them.

Bucky was in a meeting with his right hand man, steve rodgers. They had met a couple years back on a job and had basically been brothers ever since. Steve was in the business with his dad, but he wasn’t too interested in the drugs side of things. He liked business, he liked numbers and helping out, so when bucky found out he wanted out of his dads gang, he immediately offered him a job as manger of the restaurant. Steve would still have to take care of some seriously, illegal shit, but it was better than what he used to be doing.

The meeting was on opening another restaurant in another state, but bucky wasn’t too sold on the idea. Not only did he grow up here, you grew up here too. If he was moving locations, he’d have to move everything. And the only normalcy you have is your family.

And there’s way too many memories here. Bucky likes how close the two families are, and moving to a new state and having to start from scratch would make the restaurant lose its momentum.

Bucky and Steve both looked at each other, knowing the answer was no. But they had to sit in on the meeting as bucky didn’t want to start anything.

Although these men have a lot of respect for the brooklyn gang, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot.

So bucky will sit here all day if it means both him and steve can leave alive and in one piece.

Buckys phone went off with a small ding, the other men didn’t seem to nice - even if they did, bucky still would’ve checked it. It was a text from you, he softly smiled seeing your name pop up on his screen. God, it had only been three hours but he missed you so much. You’re both each other’s soulmates, that’s what everyone says when they meet or see you both. Can’t keep your hands off each other, know everything about one and another, it’s a fresh of breath air for your side of the family as everyone you know is divorced or separated.

angel; missing you 🥺.

That simple text made bucky want to get up and leave the office and go back home to you. You both live in an apartment, just 15 minutes away from the restaurant and 20 minutes away from both of your parents. Your mother wouldn’t have it any other way. But even with a short 15 minute drive home, bucky would still get a ticket. He just can’t go long without seeing his baby. Usually you drop into the restaurant before and after work, there’s some new members, wives and husbands. You like to make them comfortable, like other people in the family treated you. You know how overwhelming everything can be, so you want everyone to know you’re there and ready to listen. And bucky likes having you around in the restaurants and offices. He likes having something nice to look at while working.

Steve hit his leg, making bucky clear his throat. The men had stopped talking and were waiting on answer. Bucky leaned back in his chair, dropping his phone back on the table.

“Steve and I will get back to on this. Great presentation fellas” Bucky said standing shaking their hands. Steve shook their hands too, just as eager as bucky to get out of this god for saken office and home to his partner.

They quickly rushed out of the office, body guards following them as they walked to the car. The drivers were in there already, bucky sighed remembering he hadn’t told the drivers they wouldn’t be needed.

“Lance, you can drive yourself home in the porsche. You’re not needed for the rest of the day” Bucky said waving him off and throwing the keys and the driver, lance. Lance nearly choked on air, but didn’t hesitate quickly walking off to the porsche.

Steve chuckled to himself getting in his car. “See you tomorrow, buck” Steve said waving as he drove off in his car.

Finally, peace and quiet. This day had been so hard and hectic. A busy day, was not unusual but usually bucky could handle it. Maybe everything was finally catching up with him. This morning started off great, morning sex and breakfast in bed. Then the phone rang and before you knew it bucky was out of the bed dressed and out the door. Traffic was exceptionally bad and he had ran out of gas just 10 minutes into the drive. So bucky got gas and had to stand outside as there was huge line coming out of the gas station, he didn’t know why and he was not going to ask. It’s started to pour rain so when he got into the office he was soaked and had to change. Then that boring, presentation had begun.

Bucky could feel the headache coming on already.

It was like you could sense bucky was having a hard day. You ordered some chinese and opened up a bottle of wine for dinner, then you opened up your victoria’s secret bag. You had bought this when you were out with one of your friends from work, wanda. She had recently just had twins, and needed to get out and have a girls day. You had offered to go out as you needed some new bits, so you made a day out of it. Went for lunch and shopped till you dropped. You had bought some lingerie, red buckys favourite colour on you. It was lacy and tight in just the right places. You felt amazing in it, so you thought today would be the best day to break it out and surprise your husband.

The drive home was the worst. The music was bad, buckys phone had died and the rain was really pouring down again. He needed you so badly.

Bucky just needed a taste of you and he’d been all good again.

You showered, shaved and did all the bits you wanted and needed to do. After putting the lingerie on, you changed into a black dress and then got the plates out for the chinese. It hadn’t arrived yet, but you didn’t want to be rushing around when know bucky is properly very hungry and tired.

Bucky was home soon enough and almost whimpered at the sight of the apartment complex. He parked in the garage, and ran to the elevator putting in the number to the floor of your shared apartment.

“Baby, i’m home” Bucky called out after opening up the front door. He could smell the take out and his stomach grumbled at the most devine smell. His favourite. He married the right woman. You always knew how to cheer him up.

He walked into the kitchen, putting his keys, phone and wallet on the counter. The dinner table was all done up, candles, special plates the whole nine. He grinned as heard you running down the hall. He looked over towards the kitchen door and there you were, his honey. You stood tall, in red heels and a short tight black dress that made your curves shine. Fuck, you looked so good. Bucky wanted to push everything off the table and fuck you right then and there. Bucky brought a hand to cover his mouth as he looked you up and down. You blushed and giggled placing you hands on your hips.

“You’re so beautiful” Bucky said, walking over to you and placing his hands on your hips. Bucky couldn’t get over you. Everything about you is beautiful, gorgeous even. He got so lucky. Gorgeous, smart, kind.

“James” You whined as he kissed down your lips. “Want to eat first, ok?” You said and bucky nodded with a smirk.

“Wanted to eat too” He murmured kissing behind your ear. You laughed pushing him away, and walking over to your seat at the dinner table. “Eat. Then we can do whatever you want” You said biting your lip and bucky sighed fixing himself, you were teasing. He kind of liked it though.

“How was your day?” You asked picking up your fork. Bucky sighed placing some food in his mouth.

“Better now i’m with you”

Dinner was slow, but good. Just what bucky needed, you, some food and a nice chat. But by the end of it he was getting antsy. He needed you, no he needed to be in you. You could tell because he was giving you those eyes. You smirked and brought the dishes over to the sink and placed them in there getting ready to clean up, bucky jumped out his seat and stood behind you, his hands on your hips and his boner pressing into you. You whimpered as buckys cheek made contact with the top of your head.

“Thought we could do whatever i wanted?” He asked, and you nodded turning around. “I did say that, didn’t i?” You said, your hands running up and down his chest.

“Well, i want you down on your knees. Naked”

You raised an eyebrow, before unbuttoning your dress, keeping eye contact with bucky. Bucky stepped back, watching the dress fall to the ground. His eyes widened as he saw the lingerie, your breasts pushed together and your curves extenuated. You’re so perfect, so beautiful. You blushed as buckys eyes ran over you, he bit his lip and placed a hand on your cheek softly caressing it. He didn’t speak, but you knew. You took off your heels and got to the ground, kneeling down. You unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants quickly, seeing the outline of his boner.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful” Bucky muttered taking you hair into his hand, and putting it into a make shift pony tail.

Bucky looks down at you and moans at the sight, gripping your hair tighter as you grip the base of his cock. A throat moan escapes him as you wrap your hand around his member.

“Want my mouth?” You asked and he nodded quickly. “Please, baby. Need it so bad” He whimpered, pulling at your hair. You smiled, leaning in and placing your lips over the tip of his cock. Bucky moaned loudly, pushing into your mouth and gripping your hair tighter. He tasted so good and you never wanted to stop making him feel good. You grip his hips as bucky pushes more of his cock into your mouth, you moan as you feel him in the back of your throat. Your moan sends vibrations through buckys body, he moans in pleasure.

Bucky is a complete and utter mess looking down at you. You looked up, your eyes wide and full of tears as bucky fucked your mouth with no mercy.

You grip the base of his cock, knowing how that gets bucky worked up. Bucky pulled at your hair making you choke on his cock. If you needed to stop, you would tap his thigh twice, but you would never. His cock felt too good in your mouth.

“So good to me” He whimpered, making you speed your pace up a little more, edging him closer to his climax. This might be the quickest he’s ever cum. Your mouth is a like a gift from god, you could definitely say the same thing about his cock that’s for sure.

Buckys moans get louder and his pace gets slower and sloppier. You know he’s getting very close. You make eye contact with him one more time and that’s when he loses it, he wants to pull out and cum all over your face, but you grip his penis hard swallowing every last bit of his cum.

“Fuck me” He moaned his head rolling back. You licked your lips and kissed up his torso pecking his lips.

“My turn!”

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #bucky barnes concept #bucky barnes headcannon #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #mafia!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n

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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years

Text

“Mom got lost again” - Batfam x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : Little snippets about how “Batmom” (reader) will never find her way in the Mansion. But it’s fine, really, because she can always count on her husband and children to “save” her. //DRABBLE

So. I was watching one of those “Architect’s digest” video on YouTube where they visit houses that are millions and millions of dollars worth, and besides the fact that I was thinking “wow look at all those beautiful things I’ll never be able to afford”, I couldn’t shake another thought off…and that was that I would totally get lost in many of those houses. Like, the way some are designed, they’re literally Dedalus’ labyrinth my dudes. So anyway, here’s not-really-a-fic-nor-a-drabble for you, a sort of snippet kind of thing, about this. Hope you’ll like it :

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Before the kids

“Hey Alfred, where’s (Y/N) ?”

He asks, one early evening as he just got home from work and knows you were going to meet up with him at his place.

“Oh Lady (Y/L/N) wanted to go see the library, so I took her there.”

“Thank you.”

Bruce arrives in the library, but you’re nowhere to be found. Wondering where you went he calls you but it seems like your cell don’t have any battery anymore. He starts to walk around the West Wing, looking in every room and…Finally, he finds you.

You’re sitting down against a wall in the corridor, looking discouraged, staring at your dead phone. You spot him and jump to your feet, looking very relieved. You then rush in Bruce’s arms, he catches you in extremis and you exclaims :

“Oh my god ! Bruce ! I love you !”

Insert a lot of kisses on his cheeks a really huge hug, as if you haven’t seen him in ages. But I mean, getting lost any place is sort of distressing, and you looooove that man. So much.

A little confuse, although always happy to have your affection, he asks :

“What…is going on ?”

“I got lost…”

“You got lost ?”

"You have a very big house.”

Highly amused, Bruce responds : “I do.”

“So I got lost.”

“Ah. And what were you doing sitting there ?”

“Well…My parents always taught me to stay where I was, if I ever got lost somewhere, so when they’d came to look for me we’d be sure to see each others instead of passing right next to each others a thousand times…”

Bruce can’t help but burst out in laughter. Even more so that you genuinely looks like a kid that got separated from her parents. And oh, oh you love his laughter.

It’s always a feat, when you can hear it. Especially when it comes from the heart like right now, when he genuinely laughs this deep beautiful laugh, because he’s happy. Because you make him happy.

He’s not laughing at you, he just laughs because...You’re too much sometimes.

And exactly what he needs. Too much is good, for a man like him.

He takes your hand and shows you around one more time.

But he can see that even so, you can’t seem to remember the layout of the house, and you getting lost will happen again for sure.

And he’s right. He showed you around his manor so many times, yet it seems you just can’t remember certain places. Like you memorized the places you go the most, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, access to the Batcave...and most of the time you find your way around easily (albeit sometimes still a little lost).

But there’s entire areas of the house you try not to venture in or...it ends with Bruce coming to your rescue. Or Alfred. But he usually leaves Bruce to do it, as the man just...loves the way you two love each others.

It’s always rather cute. And it warms the butler’s heart.

Never in his wildest dream would he ever have thought that his Master Bruce would find someone like you. Someone accepting and understanding, and loving him unconditionally. And someone that Bruce loved fully in return, and whom he cherished above all.

Yes. Alfred often let Bruce go on the hunt for you across the Manor, simply because he shipped you both since the very first time he saw you together, and he thoroughly enjoyed when his Master Bruce was acting like a lovesick puppy around you. When he was acting like a “normal” man, just hopelessly in love with his wife.

And it was so pure, and beautiful.

So what if sometimes you’d wait a little long, lost in those endless corridors ? Alfred knew that Bruce would find you. Always. And that when he did, as usual, you would make Bruce’s heart melt, and he’d feel happy just by seeing you and...honestly it was all wort it.

Bruce sometimes suspect you do it on purpose. That you get lost just so he can find you. And honestly ? He really doesn’t mind...

Saved by the little bird

"Over a year of living here, I swear I still can’t...where...wait, didn’t I just pass this damn yet-again-another-living room ?! Aaaah what the fuck why is everything looking the same. Fucking shit. What a shitastrophy. Fucking cockburger son of a bitchtits little f-”

“Um...Are you ok, mom ?”

Oh sssshhhh...Alfred wouldn’t be happy with you for swearing around your young son. Dick was only eight, after all.

He had started to call you “mom” since very recently, and it always made your heart skip a beat. Made you feel utterly happy.

As the boy came in behind you from the corridor, you were about to kick a potted plant out of frustration (another thing that Alfred wouldn’t be very happy about). You turn around, slowly get your foot back on the floor, and say :

“Um. I got um...Lost...”

“Lost ?”

“Yes...I just...can’t get used to the size of this house. I wanted to get something that Alfred said was in the East wing, which is somewhere I never really go. And um...”

“You got lost.”

“Yes. Don’t make fun of me ok, your dad is already enough.”

“I wasn’t going to make fun of you !”

Your son says, a little virulently, as if offended you’d ever think such a thing ! You smile at him, because how sweet could this kid get really ?

“Alright little buddy, sorry I ever made such an assumption. So, if you’re not gonna mock me...maybe you can save me then ?”

“Save you ?”

“Well, I’m lost. And you don’t seem lost.”

“That’s because I’m not, I always found my way out of the labyrinths in fun fairs very easily !”

He tells you, smiling widely, excited at the prospect of helping you.

“Where do you need to go ?”

“Let’s try to get to the kitchen.”

“I know the way ! Come on !”

He takes your hand in his little one, and drags you behind him, leading you across corridors and rooms up until...

“Here !”

He tells you, smiling widely. And it’s so cute, because he’s missing a few teeth and his smile is just so pure...You just want to squish his little face and hug him to death.

“Ah my savior ! What can I ever repay you with ?”

You ask, taking an overdramatic tone of voice, knowing little Dickie always loved when you two played pretend and such. He takes the gruffest voice he can and says :

“Well, my lady can repay me with...um...Cookies, yes I think cookies will do !”

“Cookies ? Well this sounds fair, for this dashing saving you just did ! Macadamia or chocolate chip ?”

“Both ?”

“Both it is !”

It happened many times, that you paid your oldest son with cookies, after he saved you from getting lost in your own house...Even as an adult, he’d demand payment of fresh cookies, and then would go show them off to his siblings, refusing to share, as the “good” older brother he was haha.

Lost together

You find Jason in one of the many gaming room, while you were trying to get to the kitchen. You know for a fact that there are no gaming rooms on the way to the kitchen, but you can’t really figure out where you messed up...Was it when you went left after the third bathroom ? Or when you took the stairs down right before one of the mezzanine ? Wait, did that mezzanine have a piano ? Because if it did then it was the right way, if it didn’t, then you were on the other side of the damn house. Or maybe just right next to...Yeah ok. Lost again.

But you found Jason.

Maybe he could help ?

The boy was sitting in a huge comfortable leather armchair, reading a book. When he heard you come in the room, he snapped his head up and a huge smile illuminated his cute little face.

“Finally ! Mom !”

He jumps off the armchair, putting down his books, and goes to jump in your arms. Then he says :

“I was trying to go to the arcade room ! Because I wanted to beat your high score on Tekken, but I always only followed someone there, and I can’t find it anymore...”

Ah. The arcade. One of the only room you sort of knew where to find...If you started from the front door. Or your bedroom. Not from a random room god knew where in the mansion.

Why was this house so big ???

“I’m sorry to bother you with this, I know I should’ve paid more attention when Alfred showed me, but it’s just-”

Oh no. Oh no the little one was looking at you worryingly, probably because you weren’t responding, and he thought he was being a pain.

Little Buddy always thought he was bothering people...So hurriedly, you said :

“Oh no no Jason, you’re not bothering me at all ! It’s just um..I’m um...I’m sort of lost too.”

“You are ?”

“I am.”

“Really ?”

“Really.”

“Well damn.”

“Haha right ? Usually your father or Dick would save me. Or Alfred.”

“Yeah same.”

“I actually rarely walk around alone now that I think about it.”

“Yeah same !”

There’s a short pause, where you look at each others and smile at this little moment. And then, as you slowly both realize that you’re lost, IN YOUR OWN HOME, and the ridiculousness of the situation down on you, you explode in laughter.

You end up getting back to the armchair, and Jason settles comfortably in your lap as you continue to read the book he was reading, out loud, and he listens to you happily. Nobody ever really read him stories before you and Bruce...

Bruce finds the both of you later in the day, fast asleep in the armchair, Jason latched on your arm as you hug him to you.

He finds the sight so adorably charming. He sits down next to the two of you, enjoying this moment of quiet and peace. And then he picks up the book you were reading, reading it himself...Ah. It’s one of his favorite childhood book.

He reads it, waiting for you two to wake up, not wanting to disturb your sleep.

It’s rare, that he has some free time. And he really doesn’t mind spending it watching over his sleeping wife and son, waiting for them to wake up and guide their way back to the part of the house they know...

Damn. Damn he loves them so much.

"I memorized the blueprints”

“And see, here’s a secret passage !”

The boy says excitedly, as he shows you and Bruce a hidden door in one of the wall, behind a heavy tapestry.

“...Wait...I didn’t even know that was there...How did...What ?”

Your husband asks, half-confused, half-impressed, with maybe a little hint of hurt pride in there as well...it’s his house after all.

“I memorized the blueprints of the house that are in the library.”

The little one says, smiling widely at his new father. Bruce responds :

“I have those blueprints, I never saw this secret passage ever in my life.”

“You must have the “official” blueprints, the one Allan Wayne gave to others. The blueprints in the library, the ones I found, were tucked away inside one of the book and showed more than the “official” ones. Your great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a very paranoid man, I assume he pulled a Madame Winchester on the builders.”

“Madame Win...Huh ?”

“You know, famous Winchester mansion ? Super haunted ? She gave instructions to many different people to build certain things and there isn’t really blueprints that shows a correct layout of everything ?”

“Right...Sure...”

“I assume you were too busy building the bat cave to really pay attention to the house. But it’s quite a wonder ! There’s so many new secrets I haven’t discovered yet !”

A soft, tender smile spreads on your husband’s face as he looks down at Tim. Bruce says :

“That’s quite a discovery you found there my boy, and you say you memorized it already ?”

“It was easy, I just had to keep in mind the-”

And then Tim started to get lost in long complicated explanation that you didn’t understand, while your husband seemed very interested.

You couldn’t help but smile. How cute...

Today, you were sort of glad, that you got very lost in your own home again, and got saved by little Timmy. He hadn’t lived in the house for very long by that time, but already knew it even better than Bruce, apparently.

It was so nice, to have such a sweet little on in your life again...Dick hadn’t been by in a while, busy with the titans. And Jason...

You didn’t want to think about Jason.

Or at least, not in the way you would end up thinking about him. You wanted to remember his smiles, and how he always got lost too in this house. Not...Not...the broken body Bruce brought back...You...

You shooed the memory away, and focused on your son.

Tim was now going on and on about how he found really cool places that weren’t on the normal blueprints, and how he wanted to show Bruce and you.

And Bruce was smiling. For the first time in ages. Your husband was smiling, faced with such an excited little one.

So yes. Yes, today you were glad you got lost in your own home, and that your tiny son found you and showed you the way. That it lead you to ask him how the hell was he that fast in memorizing the house’s layout, and then him explaining things about the blueprints.

And consequently, how Bruce and him started to truly bond, started to talk about the house and about the Wayne legacy...

It was nice. To finally see your husband smile again. Propelled by a sudden surge of motherly love, you hugged Tim tight, and the boy, a bit confused at first, hugged you back without much questions.

And this sight.

His wife and his son hugging.

It warmed Bruce’s heart in a way his heart hadn’t been warmed since he lost Jason.

Yes. It was good, that sometimes you’d get lost in your own damn house.

This is a fun game

By the time Cassandra came into your life, this “mom got lost again” thing became sort of a game. It was about who would find you first, when they realized you were lost.

You’d be gone a little too long after saying : “I’m gonna go get the ice cream in the freezer”, and they knew. It was time to set a party to find you.

“3, 2, 1...GO !” And they’d run in each different direction, searching for you.

The winner gets cookies. Baked by you...

Cass liked that game.

Because even if she lost, she would’ve spend quality times with her family. Fun times. Looking for her beloved mother.

Mother.

The only mother she ever had.

Mom.

It’s a word that always easily rolled off her tongue.

Mom.

“Found, mom.”

You jumped a little in the air, as your only daughter suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She was looking at you upside down, and it took you a little bit to realize she was actually dangling off in a very spider-man way off of the floor just above. She must’ve heard your footsteps (or more likely, your growls about being lost again).

She jumped off, and you felt your heart stop, suddenly fearing she would fall down but..Not, she agilely jumps over the rail, and is in front of you, smiling.

Finding you was Cass’ favorite game. Because when she did, you’d always look at her fondly, give her a hug, and praise her for being the best.

And for someone like Cassandra, who grew up treated like an emotionless machine by a man who never viewed her as more than a weapon...it felt nice, to have such a loving person in her life.

When Cass thought of you, her mind filled with bright colors, and her heart with warmth. Because she grew up never learning how to speak, her thoughts didn’t quite work in words like most people, but in colors and temperatures.

And you, you were reassuring colors and soothing warmth.

Mom.

Such a simple word. Yet it took her a while to be able to even say it.

Now she could speak, in big thanks to you. And her father.

She loved you guys so much. So much.

She loved you.

“Mom.”

She says, reaching a hand for yours. And you take it, smiling once more, shaking your head and apologizing that you made her look for you...Oh.

Oh but she doesn’t mind. None of them do.

Because when they find you. When they “save you”, you always look at them with such unconditional love. No matter what.

Finding you is Cass’ favorite game.

It always leaves her feeling nice and warm, loved and safe.

Finding you is Cass’ favorite game.

And one day, she’ll be able to tell you all of that. One day, she’ll be able to tell you to never apologize, because she loves to look for you. She loves you.

One day. One day she’ll talk to you about all of this.

But for now, it was fine for both of you that her feelings translated in only smiles, affectionate touch, and one very important word...

“Mom”.

“I won’t let you get lost !”

Damian hated the mere idea of you being in any kind of distress.

ANY kind.

So when he learned that you would often get lost in the Manor, and even as everyone assured him it just sort of became an inside joke within the family, your youngest son took it upon himself to make sure you’d never get lost again.

He started to put up signs everywhere in the house, giving indications as to where you were and where was what. Detailed little maps, arrows and such. Drawn by himself. It took him WEEKS to finally cover the entire Manor.

It’s something no one ever thought of before because...Although you often got lost, it was always nice to try and find you, and well, you would still know your way around the part of the house you’d most go to.

In fact, when you got lost, it was often because you’d go in a wing you didn’t know much for whatever reason, and they’d know where to look for you.

So they never really saw a reason to make signs telling you the right way. Or yeah, they never really thought about it.

But Damian...Damian was set to make the house “lost proof”.

As a result, you definitely didn’t get lost as many times. Which was...nice ?

But once, at dinner, Dick was reminiscing of that one time you got lost in the attic for some reason, and couldn’t find your way out, and him and Jason had to get you, and how they laughed a lot and you praised them for saving you...

And Damian grew quiet. And upset. When you asked him why, he refused to answer, but the next day, you ventured in a part of the house you rarely went to so you could go fetch something and...

All the signs telling you which way to go were gone. Which didn’t worry you much, you knew you’d be found by one of your family member before long, or would just find your own way out after a while.

But it was odd nonetheless.

It’s only when Damian found you, and “saved” you that you understood why the signs weren’t on anymore.

Damian too, wanted to “save” you from getting lost. Wanted to laugh with you because it was silly that you got lost in your own house. Wanted you to bake him cookies as a reward for saving him. Wanted to share those bonding moments with you...

It was so cute, and showed how far Damian really went since Talia first dropped him on your door, that you couldn’t help but hug the hell out of your baby.

He was a little embarrassed, but hugged you back nonetheless.

Yes. Yes Damian had come along way, since he first came into your life. He learned how to love, how it felt to be loved, and how...how sometimes he would crave for your attention.

And so he took down the signs. So he could save you. So he could share this with you, just like you did share those moments with all his other siblings.

He took down the signs, because you getting lost was an important inside joke of this family...And because he was, now, part of this family.

What even is this place...

Duke thought he would never EVER find his way back in this new house.

His bedroom was in...east wing ? West wing ? ...SOMEWHERE.

The first few days of living there were overwhelming, and he constantly had to make sure he wasn’t far from one of the other family member because he was so afraid to get lost.

He couldn’t remember the right way to anywhere. This was all too big.

He grew up in a small two bedrooms apartment, in the heart of Gotham’s sludge. He could find his way in this gigantic city easily, knew the place like the back of his hand but...

The Manor ?

It was uncharted territory. In every sense of the term.

First it was on the outskirt of Gotham, in the hills, a place he never set foot in.

And then the house, but also the land around it was bigger than his neighborhood ! It was so foreign for him...

But he hid this well. He hid the fact he was overwhelmed well. And just made sure he’d always be with someone when walking around the manor.

He tried to remember the way they took, he really did. But every time he thought he got it, they’d use another way and he was totally lost again.

Alfred showed him around the first day, but it was too many informations at the same time. Him and his ADHD couldn’t process it.

What would you guys say, if he mentioned he was getting lost in the house ? Surely, you’d mock him. Or just feel sorry for him ?

He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to know. Acclimating to this new life was already hard enough, what with discovering his meta-powers, having to deal with what happened to his parents, and living in this all new environment.

You made it comfortable and easy for him. You were just so welcoming and loving. But it was still hard...he was only a boy.

And so he said nothing. And now...now, lost and walking through corridors that all looked the same, he dearly regretted it.

He turned a corner, and...there you were.

“Oh, hey Dukie”.

He smiled shyly, afraid you would know he was lost, and said :

“Hi.”

“What’s up ?”

“Nothing, I was going to- I was exploring the house.”

He was about to say he was trying to get to the movie theater, where Damian and Cass were surely waiting for him by that time, so they could watch a movie. But what if he was totally off ? Far from where the home cinema was supposed to be ?

“Exploring the house” sounded like a safe thing to say.

“Oh, careful not to get lost haha. Happens to me all the time...”

Wait...What ? Were you joking ? He wasn’t sure.

“Actually, I’m lost right now. I wanted to take a shortcut from the kitchen to the bat cave to see Bruce -I miss him- -Yeah I know only saw him couple of hours ago-, but I must’ve taken a wrong turn...Somewhere...”

You were holding your chin in your hand now, trying to remember where you could possibly have taken the wrong turn. And Duke realized you were serious.

“You’re lost ?”

“Yeaaaah. Go ahead, you can laugh. I know I’d laugh at myself too haha. I just could...never quite figure out how this house worked ? I grew up in a one bedroom apartment, sleeping in the living room with my brothers. And then when I moved in on my own I had an even smaller place. So. It’s a change. Even after all those years I’m still not quite used to it.”

“Ah me too ! I mean, I just can’t figure out the layout of this place !”

“Ah ? Hey, for you too, sometimes you think you definitely know where you’re going and then you find yourself outside in the garden and you just have no idea how you got there ?”

“Yes !!!! I was sure of my way so many times but then one wrong turn and...here I am.”

“Well Duke, believe me I get it. I get it haha.”

You then proceeded to tell him all the most embarrassing stories of you getting lost, including that one time at a charity event held in your house, someone asked you to take them to a certain place, and your asshole of a husband let you do it just because he knew you wouldn’t find the way, and because you getting lost with their guest was the only fun entertainment of the night.

And this.

This simple shared thing, of you two getting lost...

It was amongst the first time Duke really felt home. Really felt like he wasn’t alone.

Those past few days had been difficult for him. This was all so new.

And yet, with a few smiles, silly stories and support..You made him feel like he was truly home. And he didn’t even notice the hours you two passed, sat on the floor in that corridor, before Bruce found you and took you back to where you initially wanted to go...

Saved by the littlest bird

Thomas is about eight, and you’re about to have a heart pinching flashback as he’s going to remind you of your first baby...

Dick was going to be almost thirty, by then. He was married, and with a kid on the way (I’m not here for ship wars, you chose with who he is, wether it’s Babs or Kori, or whoever else). Oh, how long ago it was, that his little eight years old hand would hold yours to guide you across the manor...

Too bad. Because right now, you definitely needed some help navigating around. Lost again. Ugh. T’was getting old.

“Mommy...You’ve been living in this house for over 15 years now, how can you still get lost ?”

Your littlest baby. Thomas. Appearing from around the corner, and as he saw you, rolling his eyes like never before. Yet smirking, in a very “Bruce” way. Ah. Like father, like son.

“...”

Is your only answer.

You avoid his judging gaze, but did it in a way that was overdoing it, so he knew you were just pretending to be embarrassed haha. He rolled his eyes, and then takes out a walkie talkie and says :

“I found her Damdam, she’s in the West Wing near one of the drawing room. Over.”

“Ok, thanks little buddy, let’s meet up in the kitchen, over.”

“Ok cool, be right there, over.”

This little exchange made you smile, oh those two were very close. Well, all your children were close. But Damian and Thomas had a little something, because they were the youngest, and because Damian took to heart his big brother role. He was also the only one still living in the manor by that time, all your other children having their own place in Gotham, going to college or already working...a wave of nostalgia threatened to take over you, and you quickly thought of something else.

“Little buddy”, Damian called Thomas. Copying you for sure. How cute.

“Come on mommy, I’ll take you back to the kitchen. You can make us cookies then, yes ?”

“Of course my baby, any flavor you want.”

“Well Damian will surely want the white chocolate chip ones, so I’m good with those too.”

Thomas was such a sweet consilient boy. He didn’t really mind anything, and would follow you guys anywhere...as long as he could be with his family, and enjoy their presence, he just never minded.

He definitely had a stubborn and strong personality, but he was still oh so sweet. And nice. Even if he did mock you a lot for getting lost in your own home...

“Where did you get the walkies ?”

“Dick gave it to me last time he came, so we could cheat at hide and seek. Don’t tell Tim.”

You chuckle, imagining how nuts your kids would get because Dick always goddamn won...

Ah and of course Dick would give a talkie to his littlest brother. To be honest, Thomas reminded you of Dick in lots of ways.

They were both gentle, funny, sweet and nice...with outburst of anger and pride sometimes. Ah quite like Bruce too. You loved them all so damn much.

“Now come mom, I think dad will be home soon too ! We can watch a movie before the patrol ! With cookies !!”

You smile, and you take your son’s hand. Your youngest boy. Reminiscent of when Dick used to do this. All those years ago.

Reminiscent of a time you didn’t feel so weak...

(I’M SORRY I HAD TO ADD THIS LAST LINE FOR IT TO FIT IN THE WORLD I SORT OF MADE !! If you know you know).

And if you’re wondering who the hell Thomas is : Polichinelle, “Go away, you’re confusing my baby”, Shaky steps and bad teaching, Master of Diaper, How do you make babies ?, What it means to be a big brother - By Damian Wayne and After Batmom’s death)

Bonus : There’s a moment, in one of the video I watched, where the guy showing the house off is basically like : “You might think this is a beautiful dining room…but it’s not, it’s a breakfast room”, and I had random flashes of Alfred showing the manor to one of the kids, or even to Batmom as she first comes to the house, and him talking about the “breakfast room”, and the boys/Batmom just not being able to get over the fact there’s a room that exist just to eat breakfast in…(wait till they see the personal SPA floor uh). Only Damian would be like : “Tt. Only one breakfast room ?” XD. Anyway. I thought I shared, because it made me laugh to imagine how ridiculous Wayne Manor is. Wait worst, in one of the video the people living in it had a room bigger than my entire apartment that existed for the SOLE PURPOSE OF CUTTING BOUQUETS OF FRESH FLOWERS ??????? That I’m sure they wouldn’t have. I mean, a garden that Alfred would cherish, for sure. But...an entire room just to cut FRESH (the dude really put an emphasis on that) flowers...My guy...what...

_________________________________________________

Ok the end. Hope you liked whatever my thoughts were on this Saturday night. I didn't put as much effort in this as I usually do and wrote it rather fast, hope it’s still ok, I just wanted to share a little something that wouldn't leave my head up until I finally wrote about it :).

PS : Also it’s all sort of a joke I thought about, I know most people would probably find their way after living for ages in the same place, but ah you get what I meant haha. Also I get lost in my own basement sometimes because of how the layout is, so ya know...hahaha.

#Batmom #Batfam #Batfamily #Bruce Wayne x Reader #Bruce Wayne imagine #Damian Wayne x Reader #Batfam x Reader #Batmom x Batfam #Jason Todd x Reader #Cassandra Cain imagine #Richard Grayson x Reader #Tim Drake x reader #Damian Wayne imagine #Tim Drake imagine #Batfam imagine #Richard Grayson imagine #Wayne Manor is CRAZY #Fem!Reader

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zodiyack · 3 years

Text

Promises

Requested by anon: Omg hi again may I request a Sherlock Holmes x reader were they get married and have kids! Thank you <3

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Female!Reader

Warnings: One smut-indication?, funny angst, fluffity fluff, no proof-reading

Words: 1,953

Summary: (See Request)

Note: I’m making this a continuation of Reminders if that’s ok with you-

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @thewarriorprincessxo, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @missihart23, @beckster07890, @maan24

Masterlist | Henry Cavill Masterlist

Tears were shed, laughs were scattered, cheers were shouted. Sherlock had made good on his promise and married the lovely beautiful artist. He couldn’t stray his eyes from hers the entire wedding. It was difficult to even form words with how breathtaking the angel in front of him looked. Did they really expect him to say vows with this gift from the heavens standing right before him?!

Although Sherlock found it hard, he managed to spit out the words that caught in his throat. You��d hardly be able to tell he was a nervous wreck; the loving words that should bind them in mere moments came from his lips like poetry.

As soon as they were wed, Sherlock was eager to have his wife to himself. The entire after-party, he sat beside her with his leg bouncing impatiently, and that night he’d made love to her more times than they’d ever done in a week. A new record. He made it known that his promise was good.

What was to come after, though, was surely to be expected.

“Rin, stop moving sweetie.” She begged calmly for what felt like the thousandth time. Her youngest daughter fidgeted in the chair. She looked like a baby-doll propped up in an adults’ chair with how small she was. Painting her children was not uncommon for Y/n. They loved to model for their mother but most of the time her children could just barely stay still.

Their oldest, Eddie, a nickname for Edward, was goofy and had a heart like his aunt’s, both Enola and Eddie more child-like than times would prefer. Second oldest, Will Claud, short for William Claud, was determined, like his father, but had a habit of over doing it. He was the strict and ...well, the nerd brother. Will Claud just wanted to impress his father and mother, but he seemed to listen to his uncle Mycroft too much.

Next born was Alice. She had her mother’s skill in art as well as her father’s skill in mystery. She and Will Claud were born not too long from each other, so it was no surprise that they were constantly wrestling for the spotlight. Alice didn’t try to outwit her brother as much as he did her, but she wasn’t new to winning.

Finally, the twins; Clayton and Catherine. Clayton was mischievous and didn’t hesitate to make it known, but Catherine, sitting in that chair across her mother as her soft skin is replicated by paint onto a canvas of color, was practically an angel.

While the other children would hurdle over each other to get to their father every time he stepped through the front doors, Cathy would wait beside her mother politely before walking to her father slowly. Her siblings would part, forming a walkway in the middle as if she were royalty.

So then the joke was made and the chair painting was currently underway. They had to find the right chair, and they did. It looked so elegant, so royally distinguished. It looked perfect. Fit for a queen.

And that was what the joke was. That Catherine was the “queen”. Not a very funny one without context, Cathy’s siblings later found out, but a good one to tease her with. However, queen Cathy didn’t mind it. In fact, she was quick to drop into character, the smoothest transition known to man-kind.

While, yes, Catherine’s character was rather humorous, it still held some concerns. Would she become the lordly queen her siblings tried to paint her as? Would she ever realize it was all a joke her siblings made up? Growing up was never something she forced on her children, but she didn’t want to have them growing too used to a title like that. Y/n joked to her husband one night in bed as they held the sleeping majesty, whom had crawled into their bed without reason.

“I’m highly aware she’s ‘the queen’ and all, but I really hope she doesn’t decide she’d like to adopt the complete role. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if my baby became my nightmare. The other four are already so much work.” She chuckled as she brushed some of Catherine’s hair behind her ear.

Sherlock looked at his sleeping daughter. She looked so at peace, just as she always did, and he nodded yet noted his disagreement. “I doubt she’d ever become such a hassle. She’s been so patient and kind, I can’t see her actually devolving a bad side. Clayton, sure, but his sister?” Their eyes flicked up to meet each others. A beat later and they were in hushed snickers.

“Mummy?”

“Yes?”

“When will daddy be returning home?” She had relaxed her facial muscles, if only she’d done so with her limbs- make it easier for her mother, and held a casual tone of voice. Another thing with Catherine; she was harder to read than most.

“I’m not sure, my dear. He should be back before supper...” Y/n lifted her head to peak over the easel and watch her three older kids as they played with Clayton. He was a tough kid, but always overestimated how tough he really was. Y/n felt concern fill her gut when he first begged to play with his older siblings, but she let him anyways, Sherlock being the one to thank for that decision.

“Good. I want to sit next to him tonight. And you. I want to sit next to both of you, mummy.” She gave her mother a small smile, which she returned, before adjusting to her original pose.

Y/n paused after she finished the details involving the chair and Cathy. “Catherine, you do realize that I sit next to your father at dinner, right? And Eddie sits on his other side...that is, if Willy loses their fight tonight...I wonder why they don’t just take turns...” She muttered the last few sentences to herself in heavy contemplation.

“Mhm! You can sit next to him too!” The little girl watched her mother process her question with wide eyes of anticipation. She realized Y/n still didn’t quite understand and was quick to explain. “I can sit on your lap, mummy! Like when I was this big!” Catherine held up her hands to show an overexaggerated space between her small hands that supposedly represented her only one or two years ago.

“Well... Daddy and I can talk about it when he gets home. Is that alright with you?”

“Mhm! But I don’t want to crush the new me, so don’t be afraid to tell me no, mummy, okay?!” Her innocence was adorable, but not more than the grin that sat upon her lips.

Clayton rushed in, causing Y/n to instinctively reach for her easel protectively. He chortled to himself before announcing what was on his mind. “It’s not a new you, Cathy, it’s a new me! I’ll bet you on it, I’m shore I have the funs!”

“Clayton Luther Holmes!” Y/n’s eyes doubled in size. “Who taught you about betting?”

Her son ignored her question and continued, “Besides, what if I want to sit on mother’s lap?!”

“We can’t both sit on mummy- what about the baby?”

“Uhh, it can move, no doy?! It can move just like Will Claud tells me to. It doesn’t need to be shell-fish!” Clayton muttered bitterly. “If Will Claud really wants to call someone his funny names, he should call the baby them.” His time with the older kids was undoubtfully the reasoning behind the failed attempts of words he didn’t fully understand.

“Do you mean ‘selfish?’“

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Don’t you agree, mummy? See, she agrees!” Clayton tried to argue with his twin, but his words had no effect on her. Catherine stared at him blankly, confused like her mother.

“Mummy didn’t say anything, Clayton. She said we can talk about it when daddy gets home, so you can wait here with me.” She scooted over a bit in the chair and pat beside her. Clayton shot her a look of distaste and ran back out into the yard.

“That was...odd.” Y/n blinked.

“He did remind me though, mummy... The baby can’t move... maybe I could sit with daddy instead?” Catherine sounded reassuring, her feathery voice calming her mother.

Which she really needed. She could hardly focus on her painting now. Her heart was begging for Sherlock to walk through the front doors already, spare her from another interruption that would throw her off-course for the fifth time that evening.

Like magic, her wish was granted and a knock sounded on the study door. Both Catherine and Y/n’s heads snapped toward Sherlock entering the room. “How’s her-majesty doing?” He smirked at Cathy as he set down his case. “I heard from two little competitive detectives that mummy is creating a masterpiece of her masterpiece! Are the rumors true?”

“That they are, detective. Seems you’ve found out the surprise before it could surprise you.” Catherine giggled as her father lifted her from the soft red chair and spun her around before planting a kiss on her forehead.

“So, my little queen, how are you?”

“Good.” She smiled brightly. “How are you? Did mummy ask you yet?”

Sherlock turned to face Y/n, who looked away as fast as she could- wide eyes and all. “Did mummy ask me what, Rin?”

“If I could sit with you or her during supper? I would sit on mummy’s lap, but I don’t want to hurt the baby, and even if I could, Clay wants to sit on her too. I don’t want to make it unfair!” Catherine frowned. “I told him he could wait with me until you were here to talk about it but he didn’t want to.”

“I’ll tell you what. Since mummy has the baby, you can sit with her and I’ll have Clayton sit with me.”

“Yeah! He moves around a lot and we want to be extra careful with mummy and mini-baby, right?” Sherlock nodded, Y/n still trying to figure out what her daughter was saying, and sent Cathy off to play with her siblings until Alice finished supper. It wasn’t intended for Y/n’s pregnancy, but it certainly helped. A system in which the kids could claim nights to help out with meals. Alice loved to make dinners while Edward loved to bake. The smell of a delicious homecooked meal was never lacking in the Holmes house.

“Hear that? Mini-baby gets to sit next to the queen tonight.”

“I’m jealous, quite frankly.” Sherlock’s grin never ceased to bring Y/n’s to her face. Though she was exhausted, her husband made her feel calm and peaceful. “So, our five little reminders never cease to remind you, do they?”

“No...and don’t forget the sixth, Mr. Holmes.”

“Believe me, I haven’t, Mrs. Holmes. I’m simply awaiting their arrival. Perhaps a few more before I needn’t anymore reminders?”

“Mayhaps...however- Let’s talk about it when I’m no longer expecting, please. I’m already resisting the urge to collapse.” Sherlock chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he watched his wife struggle to the doors before helping her. His arms scoop her up and carry her to their room. They passed the paintings that hung upon the walls, portraits of Sherlock, portraits of their children, a portrait by her mother in law of their wedding day. The wall was home to their present and past, providing room for their future as well.

They were in their room for only a few minutes before a loud chatter followed them. Both adults closed their eyes and prepared themselves for their little ones who would burst through their doors at any moment. His promise was good, and they had five, almost six, reminders to show for proof.

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