#me whenever stories revolve around the love and losing of it all: gonna make this a part of me now

[macbringsitback]

Sorry bestie I can't talk right now I am once again having thoughts about FX's The Bear

#me whenever stories revolve around the love and losing of it all: gonna make this a part of me now #i cant stop thinking about how everything is about Michael for most of the characters and yet no one can talk about him #like its just so good. #his presences in the narrative is so defined by his absence and its just masterfully done i wont get over it #and the music??? fucks #the bear #the bear (hulu) #carmey berzatto #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich #i swear im gonna collect my thoughts on the way Carmey Tina Richie and Fak cant talk about/seperate Michael and The Beef #vs Syd and Marcus who didnt seem as connected or didnt know him and can embrace the changes readily #like theres something there but i need another rewatch

[fullstcp]

"Speak Now (Taylor's Version)" Sentence Starters

MINE

"I was a flight risk with a fear of falling."

"Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts."

"Can you believe it?"

"Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?"

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

"There's a drawer of my things at your place."

"You say we'll never make my parents mistakes."

"We got nothing figured out."

"Braced myself for the goodbye, cause it's all I've ever known."

"You took me by surprise, you said, 'I'll never leave you alone'."

"Every time I look at you, it's like the first time."

"Do you believe it?"

"We're gonna make it now."

SPARKS FLY

"The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I'm a house of cards."

"You're the kind of reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won't get far."

"Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain."

"Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain."

"I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

"Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around."

"My mind forgets to remind me that you're a bad idea."

"I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you, I know it's no good."

"Just keep on keeping your eyes on me."

"It's just wrong enough to make it feel right."

"I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show."

BACK TO DECEMBER

"I'm so glad you made time to see me."

"How's life? Tell me, how's your family?"

"Your guard is up and I know why."

"The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind."

"This is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, 'I'm sorry for that night'."

"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine."

"These days, I haven't been sleeping."

"I watched you laughing from the passenger side."

"And realized I loved you in the fall."

"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye."

"Maybe this is wishful thinking."

"Probably mindless dreaming."

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't."

SPEAK NOW

"This is surely not what you thought it would be."

"I lose myself in a daydream."

"Don't say yes, run away now."

"I'll meet you when you're out."

"Don't wait or say a single vow."

"You need to hear me out."

"Fond gestures are exchanged."

"I know you wish it was me."

"You wish it was me, don't you?"

DEAR JOHN

"Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you."

"You paint me like a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain."

"I lived in your chess game, but you change the rules every day."

"Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight."

"I see it all now that you're gone."

"Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame."

"Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love and take it away."

"You'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand."

"I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said, 'run as fast as you can'."

"I shoulda known."

"You are an expert at 'Sorry' and keeping lines blurry."

"Never impressed by me acing your tests."

"I took your matches before fire could catch me."

"I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."

"You shoulda known."

MEAN

"You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me."

"You have knocked me off my feet again."

"You can take me down with just one single blow."

"But you don't know what you don't know."

"Someday, I'll be big enough that you can't hit me."

"All you're ever gonna be is mean."

"Why you gotta be so mean?"

"You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation."

"You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them."

"I walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you."

"I just wanna feel okay again."

"All you are is mean. And a liar, and pathetic. And alone in life."

THE STORY OF US

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us."

"We met and the sparks flew instantly."

"I used to know my place was the spot next to you, now I'm searching the room for an empty seat."

"Lately I don't even know what page you're on."

"Miscommunications lead to fall out."

"So many things that I wish you knew."

"So many walls up, I can't break through."

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking."'

"I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me?"

"I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down."

"The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

"How'd we end up this way?"

"You're doing your best to avoid me."

"You held your pride like you should've held me."

"I'm scared to see the ending."

"Why are we pretending this is nothing?"

"I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how."

"I've never heard silence quite this loud."

"This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less."

"I liked it better when you were on my side."

"The battle's in your hands now."

"The story of us might be ending soon."

NEVER GROW UP

"It's so quiet in the world tonight."

"You got nothing to regret."

"I'd give all I have, honey."

"I won't let nobody hurt you."

"Won't let no one break your heart."

"No one will desert you."

"I just realized everything I have is, someday, gonna be gone."

"Wish I'd never grown up."

"It could still be simple."

ENCHANTED

"There I was again tonight. Forcing laughter, faking smile."

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go."

"I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home."

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew."

"Who do you love?"

"This night is flawless, don't you let it go."

"This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends."

"My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again."

"Please, don't be in love with someone else."

"Please, don't have somebody waiting on you."

BETTER THAN REVENGE

"Time for a little revenge."

"I never saw it coming, I wouldn't have suspected it."

"I underestimated just who I was dealing with."

"There is nothing I do better than revenge."

"Think about what you did."

"Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?"

INNOCENT

"I guess you really did it this time. Left yourself in the war path."

"Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?"

"It's alright, just wait and see you."

"Who you are is not where you've been."

"If only you had seen what you know now then."

"It's okay, life is a tough crowd."

"Who you are is not what you did."

"Every one of us has messed up, too."

"Minds change like the weather."

"Today is never too late to be brand new."

HAUNTED

"You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time."

"I can't trust anything now."

"Won't lose you again."

"Something's made your eyes go cold."

"Don't leave me like this."

"I thought I had you figured out."

"Something's gone terribly wrong."

"You're all I waned."

"Can't breathe whenever you're gone."

"I still mean every word I said to you."

"Something keeps me holding onto nothing."

"You can't be gone."

LAST KISS

"You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?"

"All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss."

"I never thought we'd have a last kiss."

"I never imagined it'd end like this."

"Your name, forever the name on my lips."

"I'm not much for dancing, but for you, I did."

"I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep."

"I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe."

"I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day, and something reminds you you wish you had stayed."

"You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind."

LONG LIVE

"Remember this moment."

"We were the kings and the queens."

"That night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same."

"You held your head like a hero on a history book page."

"It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age."

"Long live the walls we crashed through."

"Long live all the magic we made."

"One day, we will be remembered."

"And the cynics were outraged. Screaming, 'this is absurd'."

"Bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid."

"I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you."

"May these memories break our fall."

"I had the time of my life with you."

"And long, long live the look on your face."

OURS

"Strangers' silence makes me wanna take the stairs."

"But right now, my time is theirs."

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves."

"They'll judge it like they know about me and you."

"The verdict comes from those with nothing else to do."

"The jury's out, but my choice is you."

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine."

"Life makes love look hard."

"This love is ours."

"You never know what people have up their sleeves."

"But I don't care, cause right now, you're mine."

"It's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong."

"Your hands are rough, but they are where mine belong."

"They can't take what's ours."

SUPERMAN

"I wonder if he/she/they know(s) how much I miss him/her/them."

"I always forget to tell you I love you."

"I love you forever."

"I'll be with you someday."

"You'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay."

"I loved you from the very first day."

"Don't forget about me."

"I'm far away, but I never let you go."

ELECTRIC TOUCH

"Just breathe, just relax, it'll be okay."

"I've got my money on things going badly."

"Got a history of stories ending sadly."

"All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life."

"I want you now, wanna need you forever."

"I'm trying hard not to look like I'm trying."

"Every time I tried hard for love, it fell apart."

"Maybe I call you mine."

WHEN EMMA FALLS IN LOVE

"She's/he's/they're the kind of book you can't put down."

"To tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her/him/them."

I CAN SEE YOU

"I've been watching you for ages."

"I spend my time trying not to feel it."

"What would you do if they never found us out?"

"We kept everything professional."

"Something's changed, it's something I like."

"Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet."

"I could see you being my addiction."

"You can see me as a secret mission."

CASTLES CRUMBLING

"Now, I fear I have fallen from grace."

"I feel like my castle's crumbling down."

"You don't want to know me, I will just let you down."

"You don't wanna know me now."

"I held that grudge 'til it tore me apart."

"My foes and friends watch my reign end."

"i don't know how it could've ended this way."

"People look at me like I'm a monster."

"Now they're screaming that they hate me."

"Never wanted you to hate me."

FOOLISH ONE

"My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand."

"Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans."

"You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high."

"I will block out these voices of reason in my head."

"You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."

"Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come."

"I know how to act like I'm fine."

"I know I can't call you mine."

"How could I not see the signs?"

"Maybe I will finally learn my lesson."

TIMELESS

"Somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other."

"In another life, you still would've turned my head."

"You still would've been mine."

"We would've been timeless."

"I believe that we were supposed to find this."

"Even in a different life, you still would've been mine."

"Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did."

"It was like an age-old classic the first time that you saw me."

"Sometimes there's no proof, you just know."

"You're always gonna be mine."

"We really were timeless."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme) #when there was me and queue (queue)

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Around

'Taylor Swift'

Picture To Burn: And if you come around saying sorry to me, my daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

Picture To Burn: 'Cause coming back around here would be bad for your  health

Tied Together With A Smile: You walk around here thinking you're not pretty but that's not true

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): A few years had gone and come around, we were sitting at our favorite spot in town

Our Song: I look around, turn the radio down, he says, "Baby, is something wrong?"

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fifteen: Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, "You know I haven't seen you around before"

Fifteen: And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends, when the night ends

Fifteen: When you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin 'round

Love Story: I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around

White Horse: Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Breathe: Now I don't know what to be without you around

Tell Me Why: Makes me run for cover when you're around

Tell Me Why: You tell me that you want me, then push me around

Tell Me Why: You ask me for my love, then you push me around

You're Not Sorry: All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around

You're Not Sorry: And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around

SuperStar: Morning loneliness comes around when I'm not dreaming about you

Today Was A Fairytale: Time slows down whenever you're around

You All Over Me: I lived and I learned and found out what it was to turn around and see that we were never really meant to be

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Hello, Mr. casually cruel, Mr. everything revolves around you

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Because I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand new girl

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Goodbye, Mr. casually cruel, Mr. everything revolves around you

We Were Happy: You threw your arms around my neck back when I deserved it

'Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)'

Mine: You put your arm around me for the first time

Sparks Fly: Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

Back To December: I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

Back To December: I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

Speak Now: So glad you were around when they said, "Speak now"

Dear John: Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you

Mean: I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold

Never Grow Up: Your little hand's wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight

Never Grow Up: But don't make her drop you off around the block

Never Grow Up: And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Enchanted: I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

Long Live: I said remember this feeling, I pass the pictures around

Long Live: Hold on to spinning around, confetti falls to the ground

Superman: Go save the world, I'll be around

Superman: And I watch you fly around the world and I hope you don't save some other girl

Foolish One: ‘Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you’ll come around

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State Of Grace: You come around and the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannonball

Red: And that's why he's spinning 'round in my head, comes back to me, burning red

All Too Well: We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Then you come around again and say, "Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me"

The Moment I Knew: And they're all laughing as I'm looking around the room

The Moment I Knew: And they're all standing around me singing, "Happy birthday to you"

Come Back... Be Here: But you're in London and I break down 'cause it's not fair that you're not around

Better Man: You're talking down to me like I'll always be around

I Bet You Think About Me: Oh, they sit around talking 'bout the meaning of life

Forever Winter: I'd fall to pieces on the floor if you weren't around

Run: Give me the keys, I'll bring the car back around

Run: There's a chain 'round your throat, piece of paper where I wrote, "I'll wait for you"

'1989 (Taylor’s Version)'

Style: But I watch us go 'round and 'round each time

I Wish You Would: Makes you wanna run and hide then it makes you turn right back around

Wildest Dreams: Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around

Wonderland: I felt your arms twisting around me

You Are In Love: You two are dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round

'reputation'

I Did Something Bad: So I fly 'em all around the world and I let them think they saved me

Call It What You Want: I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck

'Lover'

I Forgot That You Existed: And I would've stuck around for ya, would've fought the whole town, so yeah

I Think He Knows: I think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine

I Think He Knows: I think he knows he'd better lock it down or I won't stick around 'cause good ones never wait

Paper Rings: Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

Cornelia Street: Windows flung right open, autumn air, jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

Cornelia Street: But then you called, showed your hand, I turned around before I hit the tunnel

'folklore'

Cardigan: You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding

Cardigan: The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'cause I knew everything when I was young

Exile: I can see you standing, honey, with his arms around your body

Exile: I couldn't turn things around / You never turned things around

My Tears Ricochet: And you're the hero flying around, saving face

Mirrorball: Hush, when no one is around my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tip-toes

Invisible String: Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons

Invisible String: Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park

Mad Woman: And you find something to wrap your noose around

Peace: And it's just around the corner, darling, 'cause it lives in me

The Lakes: A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it

'evermore'

Gold Rush: And the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it

'Tis The Damn Season: We could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now

Coney Island: Did I close my fist around something delicate? did I shatter you?

Marjorie: If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still around

Marjorie: I know better but I still feel you all around, I know better but you're still around

'Midnights'

Anti-Hero: The family gathers around and reads it and then someone screams out, “She’s laughing up at us from hell”

Snow On The Beach: But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I looked around in a blood-soaked gown and I saw something they can’t take away

Labyrinth: I thought the plane was going down, how’d you turn it right around

Karma: It’s coming back around

High Infidelity: I was dancing around, dancing around it

Other Songs written by Taylor

All Of The Girls You Loved Before: A heart is drawn around your name in someone’s handwriting, not mine

Crazier: You lift my feet up the ground, you spin me around

Eyes Open: But turn around, oh, they've surrounded you

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: I see you around in all these empty faces

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You know that you can always turn around

Official Alternate Releases

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): We could light a bunch of candles and dance around the kitchen, baby

#taylor swift #lyrics #taylorswiftandx #lyric parallels #around

[coolstorysister]

lyric starters 12

Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did.

Time for a little revenge.

I had it all.

I had him right there where I wanted him!

Let's hear the applause!

I never saw it coming.

I underestimated just who I was dealing with.

She's not a saint.

She's not what you think.

She's an actress.

There is nothing I do better than revenge.

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list.

I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling.

She thinks I'm a psycho.

Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know.

They didn't teach you that in prep school.

It's up to me.

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at.

I always get the last word.

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

Same old tired, lonely place...

It was enchanting to meet you.

Have we met?

This night is sparkling.

Don't you let it go!

I'm wonderstruck!

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew.

Who do you love?

This night is flawless!

My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again.

These are the words I held back.

Please don't be in love with someone else.

Please don't have somebody waiting on you.

It's so quiet in the world tonight.

To you, everything's funny.

You got nothing to regret.

I'd give all I have.

Don't you ever grow up.

I won't let nobody hurt you.

Everything I have is someday gonna be gone.

It's so much colder than I thought it would be.

They're the lucky ones.

I used to know my place was the spot next to you.

I don't even know what page you're on!

Miscommunications lead to fallout.

So many things that I wish you knew.

We're not speaking.

Is it killing you like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say!

How'd we end up this way?

I'll tell the story of us.

I'm scared to see the ending.

Why are we pretending this is nothing.

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how.

I've never heard silence quite this loud.

All you're ever gonna be is mean.

Why you gotta be so mean?

I'll never impress you!

I just wanna feel okay again.

Somebody made you cold.

The cycle ends right now!

I'm so glad you made time to see me.

How's life?

How's your family?

I haven't seen them in awhile.

You've been good.

Your guard is up, and I know why.

This is me swallowing my pride.

I'm sorry for that night.

I haven't been sleeping.

Maybe this is wishful thinking.

I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't.

I understand.

You're the kind of reckless that should send me running.

Drop everything now!

Take away the pain.

I see sparks fly whenever you smile.

You're a bad idea.

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you I know it's no good.

It's just wrong enough to make it feel right.

I'm captivated by you.

Can you believe it?

I can see it now.

You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

We got bills to pay.

We got nothing figured out.

I'll never leave you alone.

I'll go anywhere with you.

Stay with me.

I'll make you beg for more.

You'd better hope and pray.

My days once revolved around you.

My mother accused me of losing my mind.

I see it all now that you're gone.

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?

I should've known.

Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame.

Run as fast as you can!

It was wrong!

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

#thai bl #thaibl #asian bl #second chance #lovely writer #close friend #brothers #Fish Upon The Sky #gmmtv #y-destiny #episode recaps #HIStory 4: Close To You #friend or lover #taiwanese bl #My Lascivious Boss #vietnamese bl #word of honor #chinese bl #Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding #korean bl #this week in bl #Papa & Daddy #Nitiman #My Engineer 2 #Love Area the series #Top Secret Together #Be Loved in House: I Do

[weirwoodking]

i know we are on a got hate hiatus so this is a mockery meant as a joke it's not even rage filled. maybe you don't remember this because of how random and utterly hilarious that benjen saved jon snow from.... something... (? i wanna say wights) in s7. like he came back from the dead in s7, had a different hair colour (for some reason his hair was a horrendous red/orange??). so he throws jon on his horse, saves the day, maybe he dies but i'm not sure, and it is never explained what happened to him during the six seasons he was gone and his different hair colour. it's the funniest mystery i've ever witnessed. benjen stark deserved better <3

Firstly, we are never truly on a GOT hate hiatus, even if we’re not openly talking about it as much. Also, Benjen deserves better, present tense. And he’s gonna get that better story, in the books.

IIRC what they did with Benjen was turn him into the Coldhands figure in their version (even though GRRM has explicitly stated that Coldhands isn’t Benjen). Their explanation was like... he got attacked by wights and he was brought back by the singers as half-wight/half-human, and he can’t go south of the Wall so he’s just been hanging out up north since book 1 (apparently never caring to get in contact with anyone in the Watch, not even during the Great Ranging). And then in season 7 during that episode that made even casual show-watchers start to realize how ridiculous the writing was, he turns up at the last second to save Jon after he almost drowned and then he swings a little fireball around at the zombies (sacrificing himself) and sends Jon off on his horse. I don’t remember the hair color change, but it wouldn’t surprise me. They really did like giving the Starks the wrong hair colors.

Now, you’ve prompted me to go on a little rant, because what really pisses me off about that deus ex machina-Benjen moment is that Jon was somehow miraculously okay. So... he goes out on an expedition beyond the Wall (with no hat/scarf/clothing for his head or neck) and they immediately lose all their food and water. Then he’s stuck on an island in the middle of a frozen lake surround by the literal fucking gods of winter who “bring the cold”, so it’s probably sub-zero (Fahrenheit, I’m American) temperatures. Then he fights a battle after having not been eating or drinking water for like at least 12 hours. Then he falls into a frozen lake in multiple layers of heavy fur, somehow he gets out on his own (with his sword in his hand), and then is immediately put on a horse while still in sopping wet clothes and rides off into the cold wind. And then hours later he arrives unconscious on the horse (how exactly was he holding on?).

By the time he gets back to the Wall... excuse me but his organs are failing if they haven’t failed already, and, IIRC (I’m not looking up the scene to rewatch it), he wasn’t shivering when they got him off the horse, which means that his body is no longer trying to regulate his temperature and you’re not going to be able to fix this shit with just some blankets and the magic of wishful thinking. So, unless you’ve got some medieval form of heated IV saline and warm humidified oxygen, HE’S DEAD. VERY, VERY DEAD. Oh, and apparently he suffered no frostbite, not even on his nose or ears. Big shift from the books, where Jeyne Poole gets frostbite on her nose from the escape in the snow. (Also, if you want to try and make the excuse of “well maybe the power of R’hllor made him cold-resistant” or whatever… no. It’s not stated or implied that that’s what happened. Post-res Jon in the books may react differently to temperature, but in the show he was presented as just being a revived human with an unaffected body.)

The show is just all-around absolutely ridiculous in the portrayal of injuries, especially since they constantly talked up how much they prided themselves on the “gritty realism”. You’ve Jon getting shot like three times in the back and somehow not getting a punctured lung (and recovering fast enough to lead another ranging beyond the wall before the wildlings arrive from either side). You’ve got Arya getting deeply stabbed multiple times in the stomach and then jumping in a dirty canal (if the blood loss or organ damage doesn’t kill her, the infection definitely will). You’ve got very little or no armor (see: every Jon battle scene) and no appropriate cold-weather clothing. You’ve got Jorah having all the dermis (and hypodermis too, I think) flayed off his entire upper body. You’ve got Jaime somehow surviving getting tackled off a horse into a lake/pond in full battle armor and somehow coming out the other side completely unscathed and un-sunk to the bottom. I never saw 8x5 but weren’t a ton of main characters in KL as it was being burned? And no one felt any effect from the dust and smoke inhalation? The most fantasy-like part of the TV show was everyone’s miraculous plot armor against any sort of bodily harm. Unless, of course, you get stabbed once in the stomach with a dagger when you’re a woman getting put down like a dog, then you bleed out and die in 20 seconds.

The most infuriating thing is that the books are comparatively on a very strong level of realism with injuries. Just using Jon as an example (because he seems to be George’s personal punching bag), he suffers second degree burns from his right forearm to his fingertips, and he has to constantly flex and move his hand to keep the muscles from stiffening up. When he gets shot in the leg an entire chapter revolves around it being treated, and the injury has lasting effects on him, he has to walk with a crutch for weeks. When he gets assassinated, he thinks of himself as only having been “grazed” by Wick’s knife, but blood immediately wells between his fingers when he puts his hand to his neck, and the next moment when he tries to reach for Longclaw he’s suddenly too weak to grasp it. So we can infer that the slash wasn’t just a graze, the knife probably hit his carotid artery.

GRRM puts so much care into making the physical traumas and their consequences realistic, just like he does with the mental trauma of his characters. I know we joke about stuff like “the more she drank the more she shat” but I personally love that GRRM was like “nope, if you drink unclean water it’s not gonna end well for your digestive system”. The show just full on winged it and made different standards for reality wherever and whenever they felt like it, failing to portray physical trauma just as badly as it failed to portray mental trauma.

#i have a really specific pet peeve about medical/injury unrealism in media #like no matter what genre your story is in (fantasy. dystopia. etc) the human body needs to react to everything in the way a human body does #and if what you’re going for is ‘gritty realism’ then it better be fucking realistic #unless there’s a direct clear explanation. like dany hatching the dragons and being fireproof only for that special magical process #and then she ends up getting burned the first time she rides drogon! no fireproof plot armor #ask #anon #anti got #long post #edit: adding these tags #tw gore #tw gore mention #tw injury #tw injury mention #tw medical trauma

[flamingo-writes]

Time To Heal — Mista x Reader x Narancia

Synopsis: Narancia has to deal woth his feelings for you, which he hates since you and Mista are dating. And were dating long before he started feeling things for you. He wishes to be honest about hiw he feels to the both of you since you're his best friends.

Genre: slight angst in the Reader x Narancia part, unrequited love. Fluffy for the Mista x Reader part, and fluffy for everyone at the end. Also, sprinkles of Mista x Giorno. Mentions of NSFW topics.

A/N: another set of headcanons because I'm too lazy to write a proper scenario abt this. I AM STILL WRITING THE JOSUKE ANGST I TALKED ABOUT YESTERDAY OK, also I have a Rohan fic in the making as well (I really need to stop working in several WIPs at once). The reader has tattoos.

Narancia's feelings for you happened after you started dating Mista.

It all began when you joined. You had been the fourth one to join Bucciarati's gang. Less than a month after you joined, Bruno bailed Mista out of jail and had him join.

It really was love at first sight for the both of you. The both of you falling head over hills at 10,000 mph.

You looked at the revolver tattoo you had gotten just a week earlier, when you met him. Is this fate? You asked yourself. Mista didn't even had to ask, he knew it for a fact.

It didn't take long for you and Mista to start dating.

But before Mista's arrival,  Narancia and you were already close friends, soon Mista joined the chaotic dynamic you two had.

Narancia's feelings for you weren't triggered by a specific event. Small things, all were adding little by little. And when he realized this, he hated himself.

How could he have feelings for you? He knew about Mista and you. He knew it had been a dumb move on his part. It was painful that everything about you was slowly drawing him in.

The way you trusted in him and told him the stories behind your tattoos, about your past, whe you lent him your favorite CDs for him to listen to.

He eventually found himself having dreams of you, in which he is holdong your hand or cuddling you. God, he hated this so much.

The time he saw Giorno doing things to Mista, he felt weird and felt the need to tell you. Could Mista really be cheating on you like that with the newbie?

When he told you, you found it hard to believe and asked Mista what happened, without addressing the fact that Narancia had seen them. Once Mista told you the whole thing, you laughed so hard at the fact that Narancia had misinterpreted the whole situation. "What is so funny? It really hurt pretty bad, okay? Imagine being shot 20 times!" "No, Mista, is not that. Nevermind, its not important anyways. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, babe"

"Narancia, I talked to Mista about what happened, and it was a misunderstanding" "huh? It was? But-but Mista...and Giorno..." "Dont worry about it, its all cool now. It doesn't matter" You never told Narancia what really happened, it was funnier to let Narancia believe that Giorno had given head to Mista.

Narancia's own feelings began overwhelming him, and he had this urge to be honest with you.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" "Sure, Narancia. You can tell me anything, you know that"

"I dont want to screw up, but also I need to say this out loud..." "is everything alright?" "It is, I promise. I'm fine. And I'm gonna be fine. I just...I'm scared" "what are you scared of?" "Of losing you. Of losing Mista..." "Narancia, I'm not following...what are you talking about?"

"I think...I may have feelings for you"

You didn't know, but Mista was walking by when he head you talking to Narancia and before he could even walk in the room, he heard Narancia's confession and stood by the door, listening.

"Oh..." You whispered. "Listen, you don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know. Also, I'm not gonna interfere with you and Mista. You two are my best friends, and I think it's amazing that you're so in love with each other. You deserve each other."

"When did you..." "Not sure. It's not been long, though. You two were already dating when this happened..." "Does Mista know?" "No...not yet. I want to tell him, though...Oh god, do you think he'll kick my ass?" "C'mon, he wouldn't do that"

"Narancia, I'm so sorry..." "for what? Its not your fault. Its nobody's fault. It just happened...hopefully, now that you know this, it'll be easier for me to get over those feelings..."

You hugged Narancia, and continued to apologize despite him telling you not to.

Mista was about to start sobbing by the door.

Narancia was a bit distant for the next day, and you assumed it was because he was dealing with his feelings. Whenever you asked him if he was alright, he'd answer "yes, I am. I will be. I just need a bit of time"

Narancia eventually gathered the guts to talk to Mista. But Mista could easily tell what he was going to say.

"Mista..." "I know, Narancia. I may or may not have listened you guys talk a few days ago" "Oh...I...Are you....Wha—" "I'm not mas at you, man. It's not your fault, you didn't ask for this..."

"We're good, then?" "Of course we're good"

"What now?" Mista asked. "Now that you two know, I feel more at ease...Hopefully I'll get over these feelings soon...I just need time"

A few weeks went by, and Narancia remained distant. You were missing your friend, but you understood he needed time and space. Whenever he felt ready, he'd go back to hang out with the both of you.

Soon, Narancia started spending more and more time with you, andnthings slowly began coming back to normal.

"How are you?" You asked him one day. "I'm perfect! I told you I was gonna be fine!" "So...you...uh...did you..." Mista stuttered. "Almost! But I really missed hanging out with you, guys"

Mista wrapped an arm around Narancia's shoulder and brought him close, bumping his head with Narancia's. "I missed you too, you little bastard"

#jjba fanfic #jjba scenarios #jjba #jjba headcanons #jjba part 5 #guido mista x reader #mista x reader #jojo narancia #narancia x reader #narancia ghirga #jjba mista

[rappaccini]

Do you mind elaborating on why do you think Amity's arc was rushed, that you don't think she has a personality anymore and that lumity isn't right neither for the characters or the story? I'm kinda curious to read your reasoning.

oh fuck yeah dude sure.

amity went from one of the most interesting characters to one of the most stagnant right when she got that crush on luz. she goes from being an antagonist to challenge luz to being a conflicted ally dealing with intense pressure and parental abuse to just standing around and blushing whenever luz walks by and it all happens in less than half a season.

literally, the turning point is the moment she first blushes at luz. then she has little to do and her development is pretty much skipped through. every now and then you get a really compelling moment where you see that she isn't done growing yet* but for the most part she loses all steam and nearly all her appearances revolve around Being Into Luz. the ones that aren't, where she gets to deal with her own shit, honestly just feel like flukes.

like... controversial opinion: the grom episode? where we learn that amity's Darkest Fear is... being turned down by her crush? you're telling me this girl with That Kind Of Toxic Relationship to her parents, all the pressure of carrying her family name and inheriting all their wealth and power, and of balancing all her obligations at school and to her shitty friends... is most afraid of being told 'nah i don't wanna dance with you' by a girl she has known for a few weeks? are you kidding me. that's dumb. especially since for practically all of season 1, luz is totally indifferent about her crush.

there's another thing: lum!ty is imbalanced, both a) in its pacing and b) in its execution as it relates to the story as a whole.

a) i'm okay with characters developing crushes at different times. when it's done well it can be really juicy. but this doesn't hit with me because that crush becomes all amity has. she loses her arc/speeds right through/around it and then just... sits there, pining, while luz is off doing bigger better things and feeling nothing for her.

i like that the moment luz starts to reciprocate is when amity actually starts standing up for herself and what she wants, but an entire season of waiting for that with nothing else was too much. it's got that... ending-of-sky-high-vibe? where after layla spends a whole movie pining after will, who clearly could give af about her, he suddenly goes Actually Let's Date Now after he went off and had other adventures. just... ugh. it just hammers in that amity isn't a character first, she's the love interest first. good romances treat both parties like they're equally important, and bc of that imbalance, lum!ty just hasn't done that.

(also people love to praise lum!ty as Enemies To Lovers but... bitch no it's not. they were schoolmates who didn't like each other for thirty seconds, amity did one genuinely mean thing to luz once, then they buried the hatchet right away and only caught feelings after all that antagonism was well behind them. they're not even rivals-to-lovers. they're girl-and-her-new-friend's-former-bully-to-classmates-to-friends-to-lovers. the conflict is so watery and quickly resolved that it is. not. compelling.)

and now them becoming girlfriends halfway through the show... i mean i'm glad the gfs got to happen this early bc disney cartoons hate the queers, but by the basic rules of fictional romance pacing, this either means we're going to get cute but stagnant gf moments for a season and a half (... which does not work, because romances are stories and stories need to have conflict), or they're gonna crash and burn.

all the seeds are there. luz has to make the choice to return to the human world at some point, which'll mean some kind of conflict regarding whether she wants to stay with amity or let her go. *and eclipse lake had amity's Did I Mention I'm A Good Girlfriend attitude being called out in-canon as a sign that she's regressing into her compulsive need to treat people like status symbols and relationships as transactional.... which means her relationship with luz isn't the exception, and isn't as good for her as she thinks it is. (not that the fandom seems to realize that behavior isn't actually good for either of them)

they've taken that first big step in admitting those issues are still there, but now they have to do something about it. but.... will they?

if amity's actually going to complete her arc, they have to address that issue. but since that would mean acknowledging their relationship is either flawed and in need of serious work or maybe not a good idea at all, the writers probably won't do it. which means, if that never happens and they stay together, amity would have never completed developing and will define herself by belonging to other people forever. yes, she belongs to luz, which is better than her parents or her bully clique, but she still isn't her own person.

b) the one-sidedness does not work. romances are stories, and stories have to have narrative weight for both parties in the romance. and lum!ty doesn't.

remove lum!ty from the story and amity's arc completely collapses without someone to want to defy her family for. her Big Rebellion Moment against her parents happens in defense of luz, and her first attempts to ditch her shitty friends, seek better people and stop being a bully happen because she is interested in luz and wants to get to know her. this is good, this is a sign that the romance has plot and characterization weight.

(... granted all these beats, plus the Groundbreaking Sapphic Rep status, could still hit if her romance is with willow, who she has a much deeper and more storied history with. falling for a girl her family hates and looks down upon and spent years trying to keep away from her hits harder than doing it for a girl her family barely knows exists. maybe if they made it more of a point to show off how her parents are anti-human bigots,,, but they didn't do that. and even then it's not great that the role luz fills in amity's arc could easily and more efficiently be filled by someone else. if the romance is good, it shouldn't be this easily replaceable.)

but the scales are only tipped in amity's direction. remove lum!ty from the story, and luz stays exactly the same. her character arc, the plot and the themes don't lose anything if she doesn't date amity.

luz needs to decide whether to stay in the isles or go home. she struggles to belong in the human world and comes to the isles seeking connection... but there's so much to stay in the isles for (eda, king, hooty, lilith, the owl house, gus, willow, hexside, her future palisman, her magic lessons...) that chopping lum!ty off that list doesn't tip that balance. you wouldn't miss it if it were gone.

now if say, luz came to the isles and ran into the same trouble with making friends that she had back home, and amity was her first and only real friend here (imagine gus and willow don't exist, or don't befriend her until much later) then i'd be more compelled. but that's not what happened.

and luz is already a person willing to stand up to bullies and abusers, empathize with their victims and forgive ones who lash out because they're in pain. so bonding with amity and understanding why she does what she does... doesn't really change her at all because she's already there. it takes next to no time and effort for her to do that. (and even then... there are so many other characters for her to hit these beats with, cough hunter cough, that removing lum!ty from the equation changes. nothing.)

tl;dr amity stops being a character and starts primarily being Luz's Gf the second that crush develops, and their relationship just isn't particularly compelling from a storytelling pov; all the impact it has on amity could be maintained and even improved if she had a different gf, and luz just... isn't affected by it much.

#thelomashade #asks #toh

[peeterparkr]

limits of desire⤳t.h.||19

chapter 19: the bridesmaid

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the conversations

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty, SMUT (skip the ¨** if you don’t want to read it), flashbacks in italics

word count: 6.5K

song I recommend to listen while reading:

angel eyes-abba

as long as you’re mine-Wicked

New Years Day-Taylor Swift

Falling-Harry Styles

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Desire is defined as a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. However, in a friendship, that feeling should never go beyond a certain established point because it will all collapse. 

It’s hidden between smiles, dirty secrets and willing eyes. Keep it quiet, or it’ll go all to hell. It’s better, sometimes, to keep it hidden. No one gets hurt. Even if people pointed it out. 

Maybe they were oblivious, it probably was that. But when y/n and Tom looked back now it seemed to be more than obvious that there was something more than a clear friendship. But maybe, it should’ve stayed as one. Clearly, their friends thought the same. Or at least, they wanted to change a few things because they truly didn’t want to follow up their mess. Because those friends had been there every time they had fucked up. And this mess, they didn’t know how to control it. 

Even if neither Tom nor Y/N had ever admitted it, Haz and Liz had always been there right beside them whenever they needed them. 

“I mean she is getting too close to him, isn’t she?” Tom asked Harrison as they both stared at Y/N, they were at a party. “I mean—out of everyone why is she hanging out with Andrew Jacobs?” 

Harrison shrugged. “I—well, Andrew was kind of the one who was getting close.” 

“Yeah, but—“Tom cleared his throat as he took a sip ofthe beer in . “But, uh… it’s Andrew and she seems…” 

Harrison raised his brows. “Are you jealous, mate?”

Tom laughed, rolling his eyes. “No, I’m not, I’m just concerned about my best friend-“

“Ouch,” Haz input. 

“Girl best friend,” Tom cleared out. “I mean Andrew is not good enough for her.” 

Harrison stared at his best friend. “They’re only talking, man, don’t worry about it.” 

“Right,” Tom gulped. “Still, I’m going to save her from him.” 

“Tom,” Haz stopped him. “Why are you doing this? She’s having fun.” 

“Is she?” Tom frowned. “I mean… I know her, I wouldn’t say she’s having fun.” 

“Relax, she’s probably just listening to his jokes, he’s funny,” Haz said, “not her type, mate.” 

“And what is her type?” Tom frowned. “So far she’s only dated jerks, so—Andrew is kind of her type then.” 

“So you perfectly fit into her type too then, no need to act up,” Haz pushed. “Don’t worry, lover boy, she loves you just fine.”

“Harrison, stop.“

“I’m just messing with you,” Haz sassed, but truly he wasn’t really joking, he knew Tom was burning with jealousy even if he didn’t want to admit it. “No need to act up, Tom, you guys are meant to be.” 

“Can you stop that? We are friends, that’s it.” 

“Then why are you so jealous?” 

“Am not.” 

Harrison laughed. “Well, even if you aren’t, I’m still convinced you have nothing to worry about, y/n will probably blow him off in a bit.” 

But Harrison had been wrong, and Y/N had accepted a date with Andrew Jacobs. That day, Tom lost it. Harrison remembered how flustered Tom had been, even if he didn’t want to admit that his attitude was derived specifically from y/n’s date. 

Tom had woken up in a bad mood and had avoided talking to anyone. 

“What was that name of that girl?” Tom had finally spoken to Haz. 

“What girl?” 

“Y/N’s friend, she was hot.” 

Haz raised his brow. “I dunno who you’re talking about.” 

“Elizabeth… Lizzie,” Tom said, “I’m gonna call her, see if she wants to hang out.” 

Harrison frowned. “Lizzie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I thought y/n had asked you not to hit on her friends,” Haz reminded him. 

Tom shrugged. “If she’s out with Andrew Jacobs then I can call up one of her friends.” 

“Oh, so…” Haz rolled his eyes. “That’s why you want to call her.” 

Tom shrugged. “No, it’s fair play, if she’s out there dating my friends then it’s only fair if I date one of her friends, too.” 

Harrison frowned. “That’s not really how it works.” 

“I’m just angry, alright?” Tom sighed. “I… She didn’t speak to me at all that night, and when she did she only made fun of me, and she ignored me all night long, and then just,” Tom scoffed. 

“She was slightly drunk.” 

“I mean, I mean… She only just broke up with that other guy, Tony, gosh, and she’s already dating someone else? And I mean, I am her best friend, why does she keep ignoring me?” 

“I mean, you were kind of the reason they broke up,” Haz explained. 

“I’m not.” 

Harrison shrugged. “Why do you care that much? You do that all the time.” 

Tom clenched his jaw. “This isn’t about me.” 

“This is about y/n giving her attention to anyone else but you,” Haz pointed out. 

“That’s not true.” 

“That’s your biggest fear Tom, losing her without you ever admitting what you really feel for her,” Haz snapped. 

Tom rolled his eyes as he stormed off the room. “I don’t have feelings for her.” 

Harrison, to this day, thought that Tom had taken too much time to admit it and he wondered if things could’ve been any different had they said it earlier, or had they not said it at all. Tom always avoided anything that involved his feelings and excused himself on practicalities.

Funnily enough, Lizzie had the same feeling. Because Lizzie remembered how y/n would silently cry and ignore it, and how Lizzie knew y/n. But Lizzie never pointed it out because she knew y/n liked to remain hidden. But she knew her best friend, and she remembered how she had acted this way since they were kids. Like that time when y/n had a crush on their friend Luke, and y/n, upon her realization had told Luke that his eyes were so blue she could drown in them, but then asked her mother to change school, and when she couldn’t, she had avoided talking to Luke Miller even if he liked her back. Or how y/n, after giving her first kiss with one of her brother’s friends, ran away to Lizzie’s house and hid under Lizzie’s bed. 

Y/N ran away. That’s who she was. She never stood up for her feelings, and she never spoke them up. But y/n, y/n wrote her feelings. And she stood behind the crowd and never liked to be seen, and never wanted anyone to speak it up. She was private, she never showed off. She never liked chick flicks because y/n never liked any type of PDA, and y/n never liked the whole idea of someone yelling to the world that they loved someone. 

For y/n, it was always in the details. Y/N was someone who loved to chase, y/n liked challenges, and proving the world that they were wrong. 

That’s why when Tom had come up in her life,and it seemed that he loved to do the exact same thing she did, y/n hit the jackpot. She crushed on the guy who relied on the details but who avoided talking about his feelings, the guy who had her wrapped around his finger like a ring but didn’t care at all. Someone whom y/n should and could o run away from, but someone whom she didn’t have to, because he pushed her away when she was about to run away. It was perfect. 

But then, she fell. How could she not? Lizzie didn’t blame her. Even if at first she didn’t quite understand it, and even if Lizzie hadn’t initially noticed. But then, Lizzie heard her. 

“Y/N, oh my god, Tom texted me,” Lizzie said. They were at her place, girls night in, they were having a grown up slumber party where they could basically talk about y/n’s date. They were currently preparing margaritas as Y/N was taking a slice of pizza.  “Oh my god, oh my god.” 

“He… what?” Y/N looked up, leaving her slice on the plate. 

“Of course he did,” Hannah laughed. “The look he was giving you all night long.” 

“The… what?” Y/N pushed.

“Should I text him back?” Asked Lizzie. 

“Uh… What? What did I miss?” Y/N asked. “Is…” 

“You didn’t notice because you were up all night talking with Andrew but Tom was looking at Lizzie!” Jess explained. 

“Did he, now?” Y/N cleared her throat. “And what look did he give you?” y/n asked. 

“The kind of eyes he used to give you,” Hannah said. 

Y/N laughed. “He’s never given me any eyes.” 

“Please!” Jess yelled. “You both basically undress each other every time.” 

“We do not,” Y/N laughed. “We are friends,” she bit her lip. “But what… did you guys talk?” 

“Just a little,” Lizzie giggled. 

“Look, I… I know Tom,” Y/N sighed. “It’s a game he likes to play.” 

“Does he, now?” 

Y/N laughed as she ran to the couch and stood up there. “Please, don’t fall under the lies that are his eyes.” 

“Oh we’re getting poetic y/n, cool,” Hannah grinned as she handed y/n her glass. “Fine then, explain.” 

“Tom Holland,” y/n smirked. “One look, and you’ll be doomed. One smile and he’ll have you wrapped around his fingers, he’ll make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world, didn’t he?” 

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Maybe.” 

“Angel eyes,” y/n mocked. “Please, he’s done that with thousands of them, but good thing you’re my friends because I can warn you about his poison eyes,” y/n giggled. “He’ll blink once and you’ll be tangled up in his sheets, you’ll fall for him,” y/n brought her hand to her face dramatically. “Because who wouldn’t fall with him?” She sighed. “But!” She raised her voice. “He’ll be clear, he doesn’t want anything more than a one night stand, but oh, every girl falls for it because he’s being…” 

“Honest?” Jess asked. 

“Ding ding ding! He’s honest,” Y/N laughed. “But then he’ll have your heart and break it and you’ll be alone, wondering what you did wrong, but you know it deep inside he was always honest, even if he revolved with hope, even if for a slight moment he made you believe… He was clear, he never wanted a relationship.” 

“Oh come on, y/n,” Hannah laughed as she threw a pillow at y/n. “He’s not like that, he’s nice with you.” 

“Have you ever thought about him wanting more than a friendship?” Jess wondered as y/n sat back down on the couch.

“Huh,” y/n blushed. “No, I could never like someone like him. Please, he’s a lie… And even if… I do admit I am crazy about his eyes,” she coughed. “Woah, what did you put in this?” She sighed staring at the glass, making her friends laugh. “No, no, he wears a disguise, and besides you know what I want, I…want someone to lean on, but you know, someone who lets me be free? Whom I can trust, and…” 

“Someone to hold,” Lizzie laughed. 

“And I mean, I’m not gonna lie, maybe the thought roamed around my head, but then I realized… I could never like someone that would make me feel so lonesome, you know?” Y/N explained. “I want someone whom I can settle down with.” 

“Andrew Jacobs?” 

“No, no, not him, gosh it was...awful,” Y/N laughed. “But we…I mean,” y/n sighed. “I want someone who loves me for who I am and whom I know will be there in the morning, someone who gets the details.” 

“The details?” Hannah asked.

“Yes, and…” 

“But please, we’re not telling you to date Tom, how about a friendship with benefits?” 

“y/n would fall for him,” Lizzie nodded. 

“Okay, Lizzie, and this isn’t to discourage you, but I think Tom… “ Hannah bit her lip. 

“Tom what?” 

“Please, don’t you see it? Tom is clearly attracted to you,” Jess laughed. 

“No, no, that’s in his nature, he flirts, but he won’t do anything because our friendship is more important,” y/n said as her friends gave her some looks.  “And because I don’t like him and he doens’t like me. He just likes to have toys and then throws them away when he’s bored, and I don’t wanna be a toy.” 

“But please, he seems so easy to fall in love with,” Jess grinned. 

“That’s what makes a good playboy, you never feel like you’re being played,” warned Y/N. 

Lizzie chuckled. “Maybe I can change him.” 

“Please,” y/n rolled her eyes. “You can have an affair but that’s it, and I know you Lizzie, it’s better to forget him. Otherwise there’s no getting over him.” 

“Please, y/n, maybe you won’t like him but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a taste,” Lizzie said. 

“You should listen to y/n,” Hannah warned.

But Lizzie didn’t. And she texted Tom, because she didnt. And in the next party, there she was, with Tom’s hands around her waist, and with y/n walking away. And she realized it, y/n’s eyes told her. Everything. 

And Lizzie never told y/n, but Lizzie had been the one to cut off things with Tom, he had played his part, but Lizzie had been the one to end it all.  Because she saw y/n, and she saw her best friend was foolishly in love with him. Because y/n had cried that night, and she had blamed it on school, or on her hormones but y/n was compeltely broken. 

She feared her best friend had done the one thing she said she’d never do. Lose herself completely. Falling in love with the guy who could never love her, with the guy whom she could chase. The unreachable. 

But Y/N hadn’t realized she might end up more hurt than intended. Because little by little, Tom would show even more that he loved her back, but Tom showed he was an idiot. 

And Lizzie remembered seeing y/n cry when Tom would flirt with y/n and then end up with any girl in the room, y/n was out of her head in the last months before she left to Mexico. She was completely devoted to Tom, and Lizzie had read some of y/n’s writing. 

And she had received a crying y/n that didn’t want to explain anything, just that she had opened up about her feelings and that Tom had pushed her away. And Lizzie remembered listening to y/n: 

“I wanted to wait, but… There’s nothing else I can do, I… I’m such a fool,” y/n sighed. “And now what? I’m a fucking idiot, I opened up and he pushed me aside, and I…” y/n had sighed. “And now what? I lost him, but maybe it’s the best cleanse myself, and forget him, but… There’s a part of me that thinks he wants me to, and tells me to hold on to him, but… Right now, I need to leave.” 

“y/n, he’s an asshole, he’s not able to love,” Lizzie said. “You’ve said it yourself.” 

But Lizzie had seen something on y/n that she’d never seen before, she didn’t want to be quiet. She didn’t want to run away. It was when y/n received the call to represent the BBC as a reporter in the press conference Tom would be holding. 

“You don’t have to do it,” Lizzie said. “Just tell them that you’re y/n, the one who’s involved with all of this, and you shouldn’t be there, I’m sure they have more reporters.”  

“I want to be there.” 

Lizzie sighed. “You’ll only get hurt.” 

“I know, but I just can’t believe myself,” Y/N sighed as she stood up. “I don’t know how to do this,” y/n rubbed her face.  “I love him, and I don’t know how, I don’t know what else to do. He changed my life alright, and in these past few days… It’s a completely different life, I need to change and I don’t know how to… Make him love me again,” Y/N sighed. 

“He loves you.” 

“But… I hurt him and I know, but I… Look! I had the perfect man, I truly.. Miguel was incredible alright? He was everything I asked for in a man, everything, if you picked my diary from my childhood.” 

“I know, he’d be the description,” Lizzie nodded. “I know, y/n.” 

“And I let him go because of Tom, who’s.. Definitely not the type of guy I planned on falling in love with.” 

“You can’t plan everything, y/n, especially you can’t plan whom you fall in love with,” Lizzie said. 

“And right now, I don’t know what to do, I only want to scream…. And I want to shout it to the world, hey I fucked up!” She opened up her arms and yelled. “I love him! I love you, Tom! But what the hell, right?” Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s funny… isn’t it? I shouldn’t be here, this isn’t me. I’m always calm, I’m...private but right now I think I should just… do it for him? Finally speak up, maybe….”Y/N licked her lips as she walked around the room. “I love him, I love him,” she whispered to herself. “But we’ll only end up hurting each other, right? Gosh, I never thought I’d be making a fool…”Y/N plopped herself beside Lizzie and then screamed into the pillow. “But, the scariest part is… He loves me back, I… “ She sat up. “I don’t know what to do, I want to turn around and back away, because that’s my nature, I’m scared of him, but I want him, and I love him. And… gosh, I fucked it up, I… But I was scared because I’m scared he’ll wake up one day and look at someone the way he looks at me, and they’ll fall, because he’s so easy to love, you know? And I don’t want him to play with me, and I don’t want to fall for those angel eyes but… Gosh, I just need to look at them, and I need to see his smile, once more.” 

Lizzie smiled just slightly listening to her. 

“Is it weird? Is it weird I wanna risk it all even if it’s all a lie?” Y/N bit her lip. “Because I look back and think of all the good times, and I see it, we can build up to something nice from it… “y/n smiled, and Lizzie hadn’t And I know I can’t live without him. But I also remember all the bad times, and I wonder, does it have to be the same? With all the pain? But…. Gosh, I just need to see him one more time. One look, just one look and I’ll be down at his feet again.” 

“Then why don’t you see him one more time?” Lizzie asked. 

“Because then I’ll want to stay forever.” 

“And don’t you want that?” Lizzie inquired. 

“But what if he doesn’t?

There were Lizzie and Harrison, the friends tangled up in the mess. Harrison had met up with Lizzie moments after Tom had conveniently disappeared. They, along with the security, stopped the press that was clearly going after Tom and y/n. Neither of them knew what the hell they were going through. 

“Can I… May I know what the hell was that?” 

“She still works for the BBC, remember?” Lizzie said. “I—didn’t know she’d be doing that!” 

Haz sighed. “I—I just never expected y/n to do something like that.” 

“You think I did? I thought she was going to look up for him after this,  not blurt it all out, “ Lizzie sighed, “where did they go?” 

Harrison shook his head. “I don’t know, I just need them for god's sake to talk this shit out.” 

“They better,” Lizzie agreed. “I don’t want to… I mean I’m here to support her but I can’t keep up tangled in this drama, not if they don’t talk it out, I mean it’s been 5 years now? And they keep on pushing away their feelings and avoiding it.” 

“Yeah, right, they’re probably going to… talk it out.” 

But they weren’t. Tom and y/n were excellent at avoiding their feelings and they were even better at avoiding to speak. 

Just after blurting all that out, y/n had rushed out of the Lancaster room and into the Lobby, she was nervous and she, of course, did what she did best, she ran away, but to her luck, Tom had rushed after her. And to their luck, yes Haz and Liz had been again saving their asses. 

“Y/N,” Tom yelled. “Y/N.” 

Y/N stopped mid alley and turned to him. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Tom ran out of breath just as he stared at her. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi,” Tom smiled. “Uh… that was…” 

“Stupid, yes I know, I probably ruined your career, and I know… I’m sorry I’ll just-” 

But she couldn’t finish her sentence, because Tom had cupped her face and kissed her, with his other hand pulling her close to him. She melted into his touch, their sweet kiss was nothing but a way of telling each other that they could work this out. She closed her eyes and kissed him back but then quickly pulled away. 

“Tom, Tom, we should…. Talk,” Y/N said but Tom had kept kissing her cheek. “Or we can... “ He looked into her eyes. “We can… do that later.” 

Tom rushed to the lobby Tom had rushed to book a room. Tom was sweating. 

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked. 

“We...we need some privacy and we certainly won’t get it elsewhere,” Tom explained. His hand was on her waist. And y/n feared. Y/N was shaking, too as she looked into the hotel, as she expected a tumult running for them, they were the prey, and they were hunting for them. Tom was solving it, but y/n felt naked, as if the hunters would come for her. The wolves were waiting for her, to eat her. 

And y/n wanted to do what she did best, disappear, but Tom was willing to disappear with her. Maybe he’d felt it, too. Maybe he feared it, too. He took her hand in his. 

He licked his lips nervously. 

“And please, if anyone asks, I took a cab,” Tom begged the receptionist as he then rushed into the elevator, pulling y/n with him. 

He was sweating. 

“How did you—“

“They called me,” she showed him her credentials. 

“Right… you’re a reporter,” Tom licked his lips, and then realized he was still holding her hand. He let her go. 

Y/N looked down at their hands and nervously stared at the elevator, “you didn’t press—“

“Ah right, right,” Tom gulped as he pressed the button for their floor. Maybe this was stupid. 

“I meant everything I said,” y/n whispered. 

Tom glanced ar her and took a deep breath. “So did I.” 

Y/N bit her lips. 

“Were you going to—?” Tom frowned. “Run away?” 

“From them,” y/n admitted. “Not from you, never from you.” 

Tom finally turned to her. “For a moment I—“

“I did think about it,” y/n said. “I mean…if I’m honest I felt sick for a moment, I… spoke up in front of a bunch of people and admitted you—well, uh, I kind of admitted you’re the love of my life in front of them,” y/n admitted embarrassed. “I finally had to stop blending in with a crowd and I—“

Tom smiled cupping her cheek again. “Yeah, you did.” 

“But then I realized it, I don’t ever want to run away from you,” she whispered. “Not if you don’t want me to.” 

Tom took a deep breath, and instead of answering her question as they should, he kissed her again. Because it felt like the right thing to do. His hands went straight to her waist. ‘His fingers are pressing against her back, their bodies merging into one. But the elevator stopped, they quickly let go off each other and stepped back. 

A man walked in staring at his phone. Tom cleared his throat as he glanced away from her. There was a tension, there was such an awkward situation going on. Both of them were angry, but alas, both of them didn’t want to waste any time. They had been in love with each other for 5 years now and only now they were both sure it was reciprocated. Of course they had to talk it out, they were both hurt but if they were honest, they didn’t want to keep their hands off each other. 

But finally, the elevator opened again and they were on their floor. They awkwardly walked their way out, and started l

Tom looked at her. “Eh…” he gulped. “I’m sorry for...kissing you back there.” 

Y/N blushed. “I didn’t mind.” 

Tom smiled, just slightly. 

“But uh, yeah, we… We need to talk, right?” Tom said. 

“Yeah, there’s… there’s a lot to talk about,” Y/N agreed. 

Tom walked to the room. “Yeah, we…” He looked her in the eyes, and he then stared at her lips. 

“Yeah, we need to talk,” Y/N whispered, but they were both significantly getting closer. 

In her heart, she knew this was absolutely the last thing she should be doing, but she leaned in anyway, closing the gap between their lips, scared he wouldn’t kiss her back, but he did and he pulled her closer, slotting his lips against hers, his fingers tracing down her back. 

He pushed her against the door, as her hands explored his hair. His mouth moved beyond her jaw, and his hands were walking down her body, holding her thighs. Sloppily, his wet lips traveled down her neck. She closed her eyes and her own hands were trailing down his back. 

He looked up at her, catching his breath. 

“Or we can leave the talking for later,” she said. 

He nodded quickly and clumsily opened the door, and as soon as he opened the door, y/n threw herself back to his arms. The kissing intensified, as his hands were now holding her whole body, he pressed her against the wall and she wrapped her legs around him. His hands held her legs. As he would try mounding their lips, she couldn’t help but smile and giggle. 

Tom had to pull away to look at her. “What?” 

 “I don’t know,” she giggled. “This is—different.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time,” Tom reminded her.

Y/N blushed. “I know but…” she grinned as he kissed her again. 

“No, I—I get it,” he chuckled against the kiss. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. 

She laughed as he pushed her into the bed, Tom laughed too. 

“What now?” Tom giggled. 

“I don’t know,” she grinned staring at him. “I’m sorry—I’m” 

*

Tom laid down beside her. They both started laughing. 

She turned to see him. “I’m sorry, I’m nervous.” 

He smiled at her as he took her hands in his, kissing her hand. And her lips went back to him. He grinned, and turned her around to place himself on top of her, she smiled against his lips as his hand traveled back down to her thighs, it felt cold against her, making her squirm. 

Y/N started to unbutton his shirt, making Tom grin, his own hands went up her shirt and cupped her breasts. He pulled his mouth back, tugging on her bottom lip, and he then pulled up her shirt slightly, his lips trailed down and landed on her collarbones as he sucked lightly, but his fingers traced down her stomach feather light causing her to shiver. 

She grinned and pushed back his shirt, leaving him bare chest. It was her turn to push him around, rolling on top of him. Tom’s eyes widened as her hands caressed down his chest and abs, her lips back on him, now her wet kisses melting Tom, making him moan against the kiss, as she felt a growing bulge underneath her. 

She ran her hands through his chest, slowly, staring at his body. 

She sat up as she took off her shirt, and Tom quickly snapped off her bra, without any hesitation. 

“How did you—“y/n chuckled. “Ah, I forgot you were experienced with—“

But he didn’t let her finish, as he pulled her back down and rolled on top of him. It seemed to be a game they were both trying to play, as if they were just trying to prove a point to each other. He started pushing down her pants and grinded against her, her own hands travelling back down to his pants as she unbuckled his belt and unzipped him. He helped her pushing down his pants and her own as she palmed down his boxers. He moaned as she sloppily kissed and nibbled on his earlobe. 

He then pulled back from her, to look into her eyes, he smiled. 

She grinned. “What?” 

“I’m just making sure you’re the right one,” he whispered as he walked his fingers from her thighs to her neck, brushing slightly, so lightly. 

She blushed, feeling her whole body warming up. “I love you.” And she meant it. 

“I love you, too,” and he kissed her, with her hands on his back and his slightly teasing her thighs, as they brushed against her panties, but they landed back on her waist as if he was trying to merge their bodies each time he kissed her. A hand finds its way back to knead her breasts and her own hands travel down to his back, pressing it lightly. 

He grinned as he trailed wet kisses down to her chest. “Fuckin’ ‘ell, y/n, you’re so beautiful,” he whsipered, as she giggled. 

His fingers ran over to her heat, where she squirmed, only teasing as they danced on top of the fabric. 

“Tommy,” the nickname slipped and she felt his smirk against her chest. 

“Tommy?” He looked up. “I’m sure I’ve never…” He chuckled. And y/n saw a part he’d never seen of Tom, he was shy. But he peppered with kisses all over the way to her mouth. 

And he kissed her again, as if couldn’t get enough of it, but it came to a point where they were only smiling. 

“Are you blushing?” Y/N asked him, 

He chuckled nervously, “maybe.” 

“I never imagined you would get shy,” she admitted as she caressed his face. He kissed her cheek.

“I—I am not…” 

“Even last time,” She grinned as she pushed his hair back from his face. 

“I—“He chuckled. “I don’t know, I—you bring in the softness in me and I’m not—“

She took a deep breath and pecked him, wrapping her legs around him. He grinned and continued to walk his fingers through her body, And he helped her pull down her underwear and she pulled down his boxers.

Tom reached over for his wallet and took out a condom. Y/N was about to ask about it. 

And it was different than the first time this had happened, it felt more intimate as he took her hands, and intertwined their fingers. He grinned as he was aligning with her, she wrapped her legs around him and squeezed his hand. He filled her up and she moaned but he slowly found a rhythm, it was sensual and they were connected. And it was completely satisfying. 

And different from what Tom had ever had before, it was slow, at times but y/n turned him around and quickened it up, and her movements, Tom swore were out of this world. And her hands traveled down his chest and her lips wouldn’t leave his neck. His hands would struggle to find its pace, touching her ass, rubbing her heat and kneading her breasts but his lips would try to find hers, and eventually they were holding hands again. 

And they were barely kissing, between moans and I love yous, and between giggles and smiles. And before they knew it they’d both reached their highs, and both their backs had arched and they had kissed. 

*

Tom laid down beside her, catching her breath, but he pulled her back to him, as sweat was streaming down their bodies, and she laid down on his chest, kissing it. 

He ran his hands through her hair and just watched her. 

“So, that’s one way of talking,” y/n whispered. 

Tom laughed, rubbing his face. “It’s way more fun than talking.” 

Y/n walked her fingers on his chest and then pecked his lips again. He smiled. 

“But we really need to talk,” Y/N said. 

“Hm, wouldn’t you rather do that again?” Tom suggested. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Tom.” 

“Well, what’s really to talk about?” He sighed. “Really? 

Y/N sighed, as she looked up at the ceiling. “I—well.” 

“Well?” Tom rested his head on his hand as he turned to face y/n who was currently hiding under the sheets.

“I was really hurt, Tom,” she admitted. “When you left, I mean.”

“I know, I was an idiot.” 

“Why did you leave, Tom? I spent all night telling you I loved you, and… Asking you to run away with me.” 

“That’s the thing, y/n, I didn’t want to run away,” he sighed. “I guessed I was scared, I thought I wouldn’t make you feel as happy because I looked back at all the pain we’ve gone through, all the tears, all the times I was not man enough to admit I loved you and every time I pushed you away if you showed any type of feelings.,”

“You knew then?” 

“I’m not sure, I guess I thought I was going crazy,” he continued. “I thought I was exaggerating or giving myself false hope, because everyone kept saying it, you know?” 

“What did they say?” 

“That I couldn’t love, that I… was only a playboy, and, most of the time, they were right,” he sighed. “I knew deep down that’s why you ran away to another country, because that’s who I grew out to be, you know?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Maybe I did it for the same reason you didn’t run away with me when I crashed the wedding,” he said. 

“Maybe.” 

“Why were you going to marry him?” 

Y/N shrugged. “I guess I got trapped in all the fantasy, and I knew I’d end up a sad wife, but I knew that I’d rather learn to love someone than admit that I had lost you forever, I really did think you had left for good.” 

“I think we both know why we ran away.” 

“Because we know each other,” y/n said. “It’s our biggest strength and our biggest weakness.” 

Tom nodded. “I can’t live without you, y/n.” 

“That’s scary, isn’t it? I guess that’s the reason as to why I put on the white dress.” 

“Why?” 

“I thought I’d be lonely without you, and I guess I thought that marrying Miguel would take away that loneliness.” 

Tom nodded. 

“And these days, everything went to hell,” y/n continued. “And even if right now we seem to be calm, I can’t help but think of all the tears I shed for you this week only, and how I had run out of reasons to stay.” 

“Do you have them, now?” 

“I do,” y/n looked into his eyes. “But I’m scared.” 

“I am, too,” Tom agreed. “And I feel like this is just another fantasy.” 

“Yeah,” she sighed as she cupped his face. “You fear it, don’t you?” 

He sighed. 

“I know what you’re scared of,” y/n whispered. “You’re scared I’ll run away.” 

Tom bit his lip. “And you’re scared I’ll find someone else.” 

Y/N licked her lips. “We’re scarred.” 

Tom caressed her hair. “I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want to see you again.” 

“No, I know you did,” y/n said. “I meant it, too.” 

Tom’s eyes widened as he watched her. 

“We need some time away from each other,” y/n sighed. “I… I’ve got to admit, I wasn’t planning on seeing you again. I wanted to become strangers, but then I thought about it and I just don’t want to be someone you used to have a laugh with, you know? I don’t want to become a stranger whose laugh you could recognize anywhere.” 

“But maybe it’s for the best, isn’t it?” 

y/n’s eyes glazed. “I was hoping you’d say we didn’t have to.” 

“But we have to, don’t we?” Tom gulped. “And maybe we’ll find each other again, have a fresh start, fill in the blanks.” 

Y/N watched him. “It’s going to be hell.” 

“But maybe it’s for the best, Y/n, even before all of this, I feared you had run away from the hotel, and just minutes ago you were going to ask about the condom, because we fear who we are,” Tom said. 

“But we’ve proved each other wrong.” 

“Yeah.” 

“It seems stupid, isn’t it? After all this time and now that we both know about it we try to stop it,” y/n brushed his lips. “But we need to heal.” 

“And I know you didn’t get married to Miguel because you need to find yourself, and I need to find myself too, we need to heal our broken parts.” 

“Otherwise we’ll end up hurting each other more,” y/n stared at the ceiling. “And I know that asking you to love me right now would put us in big problems, both our reputations are...delicate.” 

Tom bit his lip. “We could keep it a secret.” 

“That wouldn’t stop us from hurting.” 

Tom took a deep breath. “We will find each other again, right?” 

“Yes, but until then, I’m going to miss you,” y/n kissed his cheek.

“I know,” Tom sighed. “I won’t be able to walk down the bakery again.” 

Y/n intertwined her legs with his. “I liked the past conversation better.” 

Tom laughed. “It was way more fun.” 

“But we knew this conversation was coming.” 

“I guess that’s why we both tried to avoid it,” Tom pointed out. 

Y/N snuggled close to him. “I hope I never lose you.” 

“You won’t.” 

“I’m just scared we won’t need each other anymore,” Y/N sighed. “But I know I’ll find my way back to you.” 

“This isn’t the end, y/n.” 

“But it does feel like it,” y/n sighed. “At least we can make this moment last as long as we desire.” 

Tom kissed her again. “Tonight, there are no limits.” 

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

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[sineala]

I was going through an 2009 era livejournal post where it was mentioned that most of Tony's relationship were 'sexual form of self-flagellation'. With that out I love Whitney/Tony in a relationship, is there any way you can see that working out?

Oh, man, anon. This makes me regret that I have not yet posted the story that was going to be my Cap-IM RBB last year, because I literally have a 150,000-word answer to this question in the form of fanfiction. The short answer to this question is: no.

(The longer answer: HELL NO.)

If you want me to get more complicated than that, I will say that, in all fairness, there is an era of canon in which I could have seen Whitney/Tony actually working out. But that eventually ended, and for me there's a point of no return after which any chance of this being a good, healthy, or lasting relationship becomes impossible. And since then, Whitney's grasp on reality has gradually declined to the point where I don't think that she's currently mentally capable of seeing Tony as anything other than someone who could be a personal possession of hers, a thing, an object, a prize, rather than as a living human being with his own agency. (Basically, Marvel seems to have taken a look at her and thought, "Wow, she's crazy," and it's... kept getting worse. And worse.)

Let me now provide a brief summary of the Whitney/Tony relationship, because I went and read at least fifty issues so I could write the story that none of you have read yet. Anyway. This got long enough that I think I will use a Read More.

So Whitney first appears in comics way way back in Tales of Suspense v1 #97, and continues appearing in early Iron Man v1, where she meets Tony for the first time, but also has a bunch of feelings for Jasper Sitwell. (Note to MCU fans: Sitwell is not secretly Hydra. He is a big nerd, though.)

The Whitney/Tony relationship really kicks off in Iron Man v1 #17-19, one of my personal favorite arcs, in which a LMD Tony builds attempts to become Iron Man (this is always a good plot) and Whitney kidnaps Tony because she initially thinks he's the LMD, and she's working with Midas, who wants to use the LMD to infiltrate SI. It's great.

By this point Whitney has incurred her Tragic Facial Scars and has her mask, but Tony doesn't care about the scars and, as we see in #19, is clearly interested in her anyway. He's very sweet.

She appears a few times after that, basically leaves him for Sitwell, and then comes back in a big way in Iron Man v1 #91, posing as Krissy Longfellow, his new secretary. Whom he asks out, yes. Eventually Tony finds out who she is, and by Iron Man v1 #104 or thereabouts, they are definitely in love, Tony takes her to a house he grew up in, and also Whitney reveals that she knows that Tony is Iron Man. Which she is fine with.

Then they kiss very dramatically, and it is the most unintentionally-hilarious kiss I have ever seen, because neither of them take off their masks:

I like to yell CLANK CLANK whenever I read this.

By the next issue, #105, they are very seriously together:

They are together for about ten more issues, and this is the era of canon where I think it honestly could have worked out for them. Sure, Tony is contemplating abandoning being Iron Man and an Avenger, so he'd have to come around on that, but this is when they were at their healthiest, generally speaking. They were in love. They were happy. They were happy right up until #116, when Count Nefaria (Whitney's father) died, and she blamed Tony for her father's death and left him:

So I think that was pretty much it for their shot at having a stable, healthy relationship. Because after that Whitney basically... is evil. And I think there could be, as you say, an element of "sexual self-flagellation" in there, because Tony does still care for her as a person, although I don't see that he's necessarily interested in a romantic relationship with her again. He just wants her to be good again. He wants to help her be the good person he thinks she can be, but after this point she pretty much starts to lose her grip on reality, and I don't think she's capable of being that person.

Every subsequent appearance of Whitney in volume 1 was later retconned as being a clone (because comics gonna comics), but every time she shows up in it it's basically to seek revenge for the death of her father (who of course comes back to life, but that's comics for you) and also to get Tony back, because no one else could possibly love him as much as she does. She tries to kidnap Bethany Cabe. She works with Obadiah Stane against Tony. She tries to bodyswap herself into Bethany to get close to Tony. You get the idea. These are not the actions of a particularly stable person.

But one of the more agonizing things about Whitney -- at least, one of the things that I assume is most agonizing to Tony -- is that she could have been good. Maybe she can't be now, but at one point the capacity existed in her, and we know that because one of her clones, Masque, is in fact a very good person. Toward the end of volume 1, Masque actually ends up joining the Avengers. And I would think it's very hard for Tony to know about Masque and not think that Whitney could have been her, that there's some way he could have helped Whitney become that person, if only he'd known how, whether or not that is actually possible for him to do. (Hint: it's not.) I think he blames himself for not being able to save her. Maybe that's more of the same self-flagellation.

Meanwhile, Whitney does things like lock herself in a bunker in Nevada with a bunch of her clones, which does not strike me as a great move, sanity-wise. In The Nefaria Protocols in v3 (Avengers v3 #32-34, Thunderbolts v1 #43-44), she teams up with the Avengers to fight her father, but she's not sure whether she can trust them at first.

Avengers v3 #33 is actually really sympathetic toward her; the whole thing is narrated from her POV:

Eventually she ends up attempting to betray the Avengers and get them all killed, and she is stopped only when Masque shows up and sacrifices herself to prevent her doing so, at which point Whitney decides maybe she should save the Avengers after all before leaving. I think this is probably the nicest that canon has been to her in years, and she still nearly murders all the Avengers in the process.

After that she has a few other appearances, the most salient of which is probably World's Most Wanted (Invincible Iron Man v1 #8-19), in which, as we all know, she kidnaps Tony and is generally obsessed with him. Here in Invincible Iron Man v1 #16, Tony is in the middle of having his brain deleted and yet he still remembers that Whitney is not the best person, and she would really like to run away together with him because she apparently thinks that's a thing that's going to happen:

She shows up again in Bendis' run and as far as I can remember she's portrayed pretty similarly there. She's trying to steal magical artifacts. She and Tony meet up. She tries to kill him. The usual. There's a nice splash page in Invincible Iron Man v2 #2:

Her most recent relevant appearance is actually, if you can believe it, a few months ago, in Doctor Strange: Surgeon Supreme #5 and #6. Someone has been stealing magical weapons from Strange and selling them on the black market and -- surprise surprise -- it's Whitney.

(I was actually very surprised, yes. She is, uh, not typically one of Strange's villains.)

Whitney, you see, wants to be loved:

So she's selling all these weapons because, yes, she wants to be loved. By Tony.

What the hell, Whitney? How exactly is that going to work?

Anyway, Strange needs to neutralize the magical weapons, and to do that he needs to enter Whitney's mind to find the code that will do that, and, well, this is what the inside of Whitney's mind is like:

Her mind is one hundred percent made up of her obsession with Tony. This is it. This is her brain. She is a mess. She is out of touch with reality.

And you'll never guess what the code is. Or maybe you will.

She thinks that she's in love with Tony. And she thinks that this is what love is. And she is very clearly not okay.

Because Strange is a doctor and is determined to try to help people, he offers her a new mask that will heal her:

Whitney declines:

She runs away. And that's the last we have seen of her.

So, yeah. Based on all of this, I am of the opinion that Whitney/Tony cannot possibly work out at this point in canon, because -- although she still believes she loves him -- she is very obviously no longer mentally capable of understanding what love actually is, and she's not looking to change that. We have literally seen inside her mind, so we can in fact know what she thinks. She just wants to possess Tony. And that's not going to be good for anyone.

Would she have been better than this if she'd stayed with Tony instead of leaving him when her father died? Maybe. We can't know. A lot of her instability seems to revolve around her inability to possess Tony, and, well... she would have had Tony, so maybe that wouldn't have happened. Or maybe she would have become consumed by possessing him even more. There's no way to know. And given that she's capable of this kind of break with reality, it's also possible that if it hadn't been Tony, it might have been something else entirely as a focus for her delusional thinking, and at any rate she's clearly not interested in receiving the psychological help that she definitely needs.

Man, do I love reading about her, though. And someday I swear I will post this 150,000-word fic about why they should never, ever, ever get back together.

#Anonymous #replies

[daisychvins]

｡･ﾟﾟ･ — introduction.

introducing ... violet’s demise ! aka grayson aka her big brother she’s been wiring money to stay away in europe <33333

name: grayson swag money jeon  age: 22 turning 23 (don’t ask me about his sign that’s for liza to figure out someday <3) gender: cis male; he/him hometown: baltimore, maryland sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

listen i was feeling rlly committed to completing his stats but i’m already over it so don’t ask dont tell xx anYWAYS let’s get on to the juicy stuff hehe

i tend to ramble a lot so this intro is gonna be probably a mixture of paragraphs and bullet points and everything in between but let’s start simple. also i rlly wanna emphasize a massive DRUGS TW bc his character largely revolves around his interest in and addiction to drugs

blackmails

grayson is claiming that he's been in a rehab program for the last year and is now completely sober and reformed when he really was just using the money to party and travel throughout europe.

without his parents paying to support him now, he's had to start dealing to make ends meet and keep up appearances. it’s mostly coke, but he dabbles in harder substances depending on what his connections can get him. 

grayson dabbles with calligraphy and was notorious for forging excuse notes and parent signatures all throughout high school and even now sells forgeries for a quick buck. the most notable of these was xavi’s letter of recommendation that helped him get into yale. 

background

grayson is violet’s older brother!!1 yes, that’s right, THE big brother who’s been out of the country getting LIT (and by lit i mean he’s been traveling europe on a series of solo trips w his parents’ money and doin lots of recreational drugs)

i haven’t fully fleshed out the dynamic he has w his parents but just know it’s ,, bad ASDHFJNK basically the jeons treated their children like accessories and expected them to be their little trophies and grayson just was not having that as a kid!!! so he acted out a lot and obviously got himself into a pretty bad scene (thank u goosie) and is basically the bane of his parents existence at this point <3 yet they still try to appease him to keep him under control but that’s for the family task to work out hehehehe

despite hating his parents, he adores both of his siblings. before the drug use started, he was always a big nurturer and would have done anything for either of them......now he wouldn’t be caught dead praising violet but he loves her in secret from afar HSJDFKG

yeah basically he met goose when he was around 15 i think????? and got introduced to drugs around 16 or 17 i wanna say and by the time he graduated high school he was just....a much different person than the soft big brother he used to be. his parents sent him off to europe pretty much as soon as he turned 18 under the guise of going to school internationally, but grayson obviously knew the truth and understood that he was being sent away so he wouldn’t be his parents problem anymore. 

he basically spent the last four years galavanting europe and just....trying to enjoy it???? but it’s hard to enjoy an extended vacation when u have no family or friends on ur side anymore </3 he basically used the money to stay in hostels and worked odd jobs here and there to stay afloat and keep supplied w the...special goods....but yeah lots of drugs, alcohol, sex, and recklessness but he DID learn a couple languages??? or at least enough to get through some pretty basic conversations in most european countries so <3 guess it’s all okay then!!!! 

anyways idk what else to put here that u won’t just find out in the family task so uhhhhhh idk lmk if u need anything else i guess

present/personality

so now grayson is just vibing at yale obviously ummm he actually got super into writing after high school, especially poetry. he used to carry journals full of just random prose about his addiction and his deepest thoughts, as well as probably some lighter stuff about his love escapades or maybe goose idk...basically he used poetry as an outlet and it allowed him to really ground himself and find his place in the world even if it didnt include who he thought it would SO with that being said, grayson got into yale due to a poetry competition he was a part of. he saw some big fancy competition being advertised and on a whim decided to submit some poem about his struggles with addiction and losing his family (a v raw piece that he didn’t expect to ever see the light of day) and he actually ended up winning! it caught yale’s attention and they invited him to apply and, knowing how much it would probably disturb his little sister, grayson very smugly applied and was pretty stoked to see he got in 

because that poem gained such publicity, it was assumed that he was a survivor of addiction and was writing from a sober perspective. he didn’t want to correct anyone, so he just went with it and has basically crafted this story about his massive success and has become an advocate for addiction treatment and rehabilitation. of course, none of the companies that sponsor him or the events that host him as a motivational speaker know that he’s snorting lines in the bathroom beforehand or dealing to half the elites, but that’s between grayson, god, and the blackmailer !

basically grayson showed back up because of violet’s blackmail being exposed. he was off in europe, unable to defend himself, and with a massive vendetta against his family so he decided what better way to reenter society than by publicly outing himself as a martyr <3333 his plan is basically to bash the family name to fulfill whatever angsty coming of age arc he has in store for him to make up for the pain of being sent away .... really angsty yeah </3 rip grayson 

anyways yeah he’s a total fake. he’s been using his status as a martyr to his advantage a lot, the best example being his recruitment into the elites. he guilted them into accepting him by discussing the PR benefits of recruiting a member that struggles with addiction and how supporting addiction treatment and second chances would be such a good look for them. like he basically threatened to publicly expose them for denying him due to his troubled past and accuse them of being exclusionary so they said boop ! ur in. now the elites are proud advocates for second chances <3333

i would describe grayson as fearless, overconfident, infamous due to his condition being exposed recently, a little gloomy, he’s kind of just got this chip on his shoulder and feels like he has something to prove....he’s gotta be better than his parents, gotta stick it to them and to violet and to everyone who doubts him. he’s a grumpy guy with a massive vendetta and a need for some kind of justice. he just doesn’t know what that is yet. despite all of the bad, however, he’s genuinely a pretty good guy. he’s really goofy and a genuine person, pretty friendly with literally everyone until they give him a reason not to be. basically, unless you are a member of the jeon family he probably likes you or is at least cordial to you (unless we plot differently ofc but u know). he’s just a big lovable dummy with some sweet drug connects and a knack for poetry. he also knows calligraphy but that’s beside the point . 

idk if this is enough to describe him but yeah if u have any questions just let me know hehe

this is probably gonna make things hard but considering violet was just exposed i think that he’s pretty new to yale ???? like probably just transferred in/started this spring semester rather than being here for the entire year/a prolonged amount of time so most of our plots will likely have to be newer/center on him first showing up OR we can establish their connections from pre-europe which is also fine w me....idk i didnt rlly think this timeline through so let’s just plot and see what happens aghbfjnd anyways i included some connection ideas to help us all just in case

wanted connections

i’d say he’s the honorary dealer of the elites aghbdfjn so literally anyone who needs a plug could be a potential connection. we can obviously tweak this and customize it to each character <3

maybe someone who met grayson in europe. they could have travelled together for an extended period of time or even just a brief encounter. he was over there for four years, so the possibilities are endless. 

building off the last one, this same connection could work with a romantic interest. maybe they were romantically involved for a time in europe and fell out of touch or maybe grayson/your muse just left in the middle of the night and they never saw each other again until now and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings/one-sided longing or need for closure. it could also be that they just hooked up whenever this person was in the area and that was that, no strings attached. 

maybe someone who genuinely believes that grayson is actually sober and really admires his strength and idk maybe they’re struggling w their own issues and seek advice from him or maybe they just make it harder for him to actually do his thing bc they’re constantly around and it’s not like they can catch him strung out and acting up 

someone in the literature department or with a background in english or writing. someone he could read poetry to, or share his favorite lines with. someone who’s taken the same professors and can tell him who to watch out for or what to expect. idk i just want him to have someone to share his passions with. maybe a little crush is forming? maybe they’re just friends who share a love of fiction? idk i’m open to literally anything 

he’s sort of a motivational speaker now bc he advocates for rehabilitation resources and stuff so like maybe ur muse saw him give a presentation or participate in some kind of seminar and they called bullshit on him after the show bc they were like,,, bro i literally saw u partying w max and avery last weekend what the fuck are u on about and now they could potentially hold that blackmail over his head hehe......

exes plots are always fun we love angst in this house 

fuck it let’s bring another family member BHJFNGKM no but grayson rlly is a nurturing guy and like....definitely develops unhealthy attachments to cope w his loss of family so he’d love all the sibling-like bonds he can get to kinda numb the pain of “””””losing””””” violet 

if none of these interest you i’m literally so down for anything pls just let me know and i’m happy to brainstorm always <333333 

thank u for reading this....smooch . 

#anyways this is just under 1900 words whoops #stream of consciousness wins again #intro #literally dont even have my tags sorted yet dont talk to me .

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask #fish post

[gyllenhaalstories]

Hey! I was thinking of watching Defending Jacob but I don't know if it's worth it. What are yout thoughts about the show?

hi hi hi, anon! i completely understand, i hesitated too! in my humble opinion, it’s simply outstanding. the plot is very heavy and dark and the level of “darkness” rises at a very good speed. personally, i was at the edge of my seat the entire time. sometimes it goes slow or you get lost in some of the flashbacks or the scenes where andy is being interviewed. you can lose the relevance of those scences, but i promise it makes sense when you reach the last episode! i knew nothing about the plot (although i read the episode descriptions on wikipedia beforehand and searched blog articles that explained the ending because i prefer being spoiled than being too shocked), but i absolutely loved it. the cast is amazing, every single one of them. the characters introduced, whether they are minor or not, are necessary and intriguing. i absolutely loved the barbers’ lawyer, she’s so great and precious and talented and charismatic. the actor for jacob did such a great job too, and so did the person who portrayed laurie (i’m sorry, i don’t know their names). chris does stand out. it changes from captain america. it changes from all the stupid romcoms he did before that (some of which i loved, i must say!). if he was searching for the perfect transition from captain america to a more serious actor, he really did find it. he’s absolutely flawless. his character is not the most expressive, but he manages to convey so many emotions all at once without talking or even moving.

i did watch it for chris, not gonna lie, but i stayed for the story. you kind of feel like a member of the jury while watching. the story tries to humanize jacob, but at the same time you’re reminded of the cold hearted crime that happened. whenever you start gaining hope, you lose it immediately after. i did spoil myself, but i was still surprised by so many plot twists. especially with laurie. she has a captivating evolution through the show, maybe even more than andy’s. you’ll learn to love and hate every character, even the bad guys. the whole plot is revolves around the quest for innocence while, from my point of view, it felt like a race to redemption, where some characters win the battle and others lose it.

i have no experience with such dramatic and heavy shows. i don’t watch a lot of television either, nor movies of the same genre. however, i was breathless and speechless after each episode. the tension the barbers are experiencing pierces the screen. each scene, each dialogue, each song, each cut, everything makes sense. everything piles up for an intense climax that did leave me a bit disappointed. you won’t find answers in the finale. you’ll find yourself writing your own ending. and i kind of hate that, but it seems right for this show.

in brief, i would 10/10 recommend defending jacob. i can see myself watching this show over and over again, and i bet i will understand and see things differently each time.

on this note, we stan lawyer!daddy chris and we protect joana klein at all costs.

#gyllenhaalstories answers #defending jacob #Anonymous

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Here’s the review!

THANK YOU KINDLY! Sorry it took me a while. I had a thing happening. Well… I mean… You sort of know almost more than anybody else about that. Lol. 

Long Post Alert!

I didn’t want to lose any of the conversation we had in the group chat, because I will likely need fuel for later and I loved it. Starting out with what I initially said, verbatim, and screenshots of the exchange. Then, after ALL OF THAT, giving an actual reply to the emotional aspect of the review. 

@shslargue I appreciate that you appreciated every little attempt I made to callback the characters!

Especially you’re the boss, because what does Simon do immediately after? Completely and utterly intrude into Grace’s privacy like he’s entitled despite her response to him trying to be close to her.

And here’s the situation… Simon’s overthinking is predominantly self-centered. He’s learned all of these things about Grace and instead of coming to the conclusion that she’s lonely and afraid, he’s come to the conclusion that he did something or that she hates *him

He’s only able to process her actions that are linked to him as something happening to him, instead of something she’s going through…

I feel like that’s an honest look at both canon and also real life. And that’s not to say that I don’t ship this version of them or that it’s negative for you to, just that he’s more troubled than people often give credit for people who aren’t inflicting blatant and horrific pain on others. Grace looks like an awful human in comparison with her lifestyle and even he is like, “Well, at least I’m not a murderer like she is” WHILE obsessing over her… A murderer.

OKAY… HERE IS MY RESPONSE, outside of that conversation… This is all basically for you and me. Hopefully nobody reads this expecting to be rewarded and just see our asses gabbing…

Starting with Tulip… I knew that I wanted her and Simon to be acquaintances/family friends. To give you my backstory on that (it isn’t necessarily important to the story, as that revolves around Grace and Simon, but I know you be caring) - Their moms met online in this support group/community for single moms. Tulip’s mom technically isn’t a single mom, as she and Tulip’s father are trying to both parent separately, but she still IS a single mom and this Simon’s dad isn’t around. So, they met online and eventually met up for get togethers and stuff, where they dragged their kids along, because that was a “trip” for them. So, they’re not related, but they came up together (even though Simon’s a little older) like distant family, almost, as we tend to get close as hell with people we meet online.

Is that somebody that you think you can care about?… See… Tulip is into programming and shit, so she’s a little more analytical minded than Simon. She wants to believe her friend is okay and curiously asking about this person, but she’s also no fool. She knows that this could be a hot ass mess, if this was somebody that he was serious about, but in addition to that, she’s not just acting like “this damaged woman is gonna hurt my family friend.” She’s also like… “Simon… This is not how we handle getting to know people and I don’t want to be a part of anything dysfunctional that you have going on.”

The red flags… I began with a quote from Bojack Horseman that sliced and diced me and my ex up into a gajillion pieces whenever it came on. That owl that Bojack was dating had said something like, “Whenever you see life through rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags.” Me and Jonaya’s asses were both in tears. Lol. BUT… With somebody like Grace, she just sees red flags all of the time. She was raised by criminals and abusers. Everything was a red flag. When she got out, nothing has ever been easy and she’s still full of rage. She’s still out for blood. So rose colored glasses might make red flags just look like flags, but with Grace’s always seeing red, all flags look like red flags. 

This is who grew up to be Heath, btw. I have most of the kids assigned to a number in my notes/plans, but the only ones that I’ve brought in so far are him, Xander

And Jalicia

Of course, I’ve mentioned Lucy, but she’s got a name, so you know her. And Todd and Hazel are already dead in the story…

Okay. Let’s talk about the things about Grace and Simon that are relatable/scary… Because the things that are relatable are meant to be, because while its scary to relate and identify with a stalker and a murderer… all stalkers and murderers are people. They all have had childhoods, feelings, thoughts, etc, and most of them have been relatable at some point or another. It doesn’t mean that we’re like them when we relate, just that we can have some type of empathy for them. They’re people. That’s something that I think writers sometimes ignore… these are characters and we’re getting them to do what we want them to, but at the core of each character is a human being.

Ahhhh… The Grace Shrine… He’s lost it, hasn’t he? The ability to excuse things is out the window. What will he even do next, if he’s began to get this far away from normalcy? 

I love on a story level that you want them together. Polyglot had said something along the lines of “I guess they’re made for each other” or go good together… something. Idk. I’m paraphrasing… but… I enjoy that they can be that. That we’ve decided that this situation is janked up, but we’re like, but let’s see where they’re going with this mess. 😂😂😂

Thanks for the review. I don’t think my next response will be this intense, if you should choose to bless me with another one in the future.

#long post #other folks reviews #People Watching #Chat w/ Nesha #shslargue #Nesha Fanfiction #submission

[starkerforlife6969]

Pre-Starker. Peter is Nat’s little Brother

It’s nice, Tony thinks, all of them living in the tower together.

It curls warmly in his heart, the sight of Bucky glaring at the coffee maker, or Steve watching some documentary. He likes seeing Wanda and Vision baking cookies, or Clint out on the balcony shooting tracking arrows at pigeons for one of Bruce’s migration studies.

It feels a lot like…(family).

Not that’d he’d ever say it aloud.

He feels like he knows everyone better now. Thor’s not there all the time, but he drops down for a few weeks every couple of months, with some new drinking game and stories about huge battles he won that Tony knows he must exaggerate.

In fact, he thinks he knows everyone pretty well- everyone except-

Natasha.

Which is ironic, considering he’s known her the longest.

But she’s a mysterious person, that’s her shtick. He’s prodded and poked at the facade, but like him, she’s very tightly wound, and every inch she seems to give, is actually a metre she’s taken to ensure she’s still guarded. Still protected.

Even after combing unashamedly through SHIELD’s files, Tony’s still not sure about her past. A lot of spy work, but no family on record, no real name on record. Sure, Russian ancestry she says, and he’s certain he’s heard her speaking it on the phone from time to time, but he’s not really sure.

He doesn’t mind too much, because he’s the same. No matter how much he loves Bruce, Tony will never let slip the nights he’d go out to that road and sit there and think of his mom. No matter how much he loves Steve, he won’t ever say that sometimes the resentment he felt as a kid over his dad’s obsession eats him up inside. He won’t tell Vision that losing JARVIS was one of the hardest things he ever had go through, or tell Thor that every time he leaves it aches deep.

He won’t divulge his need to succeed, to prove himself, to anyone. Not even himself.

So, he understands Natasha. He thinks that because they’re so similar- she probably understands him too.

“Easy there, cowboy,” Tony chuckles, knocking Bucky out of the way to sort the coffee machine out for him as the early morning sun shines into the penthouse kitchen.

Bucky grumbles but moves easily. There’s a bowl of cornflakes in a bowl, half eaten, and Tony feels warm again at the domestic ease of it all. “Coffee’s supposed to be easy,” Bucky mutters, not for the first time, still bleary eyed, but he mutters a thanks when Tony hands him a fresh brew, and hunches over his bowl as he makes his way to the couch.

Tony rolls his eyes, and pours himself a cup. “Where’s Nat?” He asks, because she’s the one who normally makes Bucky his coffee. She wakes up first, always, then Bucky, then Tony, and then the rest whenever they feel like it.

“Someone buzzed for her at reception, I think,” Bucky says around a yawn, losing himself to the Saturday morning cartoons.

But Tony freezes. Someone called for Nat at reception? On a Saturday morning before 8am?

He’s grinning and heading for the elevator before it’s too late.

“Nat with anyone down at reception, Friday?” He asks eagerly, as the elevator takes him down.

“Yes.” Friday says mysteriously, and nothing more.

Tony laughs in surprise, gesturing expectantly. “Well…gonna ID them for me? Anything other than that?”

There’s silence for a moment, before Friday replies: “They don’t match anyone on my database, Sir. I’m running an extended scan but I’m unable to find a match.”

Of course. The plot thickens. Off-the-grid friends? Ex-spies? A Nick Fury who’s found a way to hide his face from diagnostics? Tony’s keen to find out.

When he gets to the ground floor, there are only a few people around. His receptionist, a few cleaners, a few scientists and interns dotted around here and there enjoying a coffee for an early start, or stumbling home after an all nighter, and there, sure enough, the shock of red hair gets his attention.

Natasha’s standing near the revolving doors, talking to a-

Tony frowns.

It’s a boy.

A young boy, a college student if his attire’s anything to go by- he’s got a backpack on, and tight jeans with oversized pink flannel. He’s bathed in the white light of morning, and he’s beautiful. Loose curls, hickory highlights and eyes of honey.

Tony can’t quite piece it all together. Does Natasha have a young lover?

He saunters over; straining his ears.

He hears Natasha say: “I know you do, solnyshko, but Mr Stark is really busy.”

Which is weird because Nat’s never called him Mr anything. Moron? Sure. Pain in her ass? Most definitely. Tony Stank on one awful occasion, but never Mr Stark.

So, he smiles, straightens his shirt, and clears his throat.

She whirls around so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t get a knife to the throat, but when she sees him- there’s something naked on her face. Something he’s never seen before- something she doesn’t quite school fast enough. The bare emotion of fear. It’s so painfully human that he suddenly regrets coming downstairs- regrets intruding on whatever this is-

“Oh my god! Oh my god! You’re Tony Stark!” Comes the ecstatic voice of the college student, and Tony doesn’t have time to say sorry, because the boy is stepping forward and gushing about how much he admires Tony, which is, you know, pretty great. The boy’s so pretty, with sharp cheekbones and long lashes-

“The very same,” Tony grins, holding out a hand. “And who might you be?”

Natasha cuts in smoothly, face back to fairly impassive. “Mr Stark, this is Peter, he’s a big fan of all your work- both scientific and Ironman-relevant.”

Peter and nothing more. How do they know each other? And she’s still calling him Mister Stark. Peter nods so forcefully it ruffles all the curls on his head. “I’ve ready everything you’ve written, Mr Stark! And Ironman- I have like- all the posters!”

Tony resists the urge to pull Peter closer where their hands are joined. He knows exactly what he’d do if he’d found this boy at a club, tug him closer and use that hero-worship to have quite the night but-

Natasha’s shifting. Almost imperceptibly. She’s uncomfortable. Her eyes are subtly raking over the lobby as if waiting for someone else to walk in-

Tony helps her out. “Well, Peter, any friend of Ms. Romanov’s is a friend of mine. Apply for an internship at SI and I’d be happy to look over your CV myself, I’m sure we have a position here for you in some department.”

He does mean to help, but the look he gets from Nat feels like he should be murdered on the spot for his generous offer. Well damn, he tried. He called her Ms Romanov.

“An internship?” Peter whispers, eyes-wide and jaw slack. “I will, Mr Stark! Thank you-“

“He’s very busy, Peter,” Nat reminds, voice gentle, and Peter nods, cut short from going onto another long ramble over how much he respects Tony. “You should go,” she urges softly, and Peter nods- but not before he tiptoes and throws his arms around her for a hug.

If Tony were drinking coffee, he’d spit it out.

Natasha ignores him, and wraps her arms around the boy, one hand cradling the back of his head, fingers buried in the curls, and Tony might be seeing things, but he’s sure she kisses his forehead and murmurs something like: “Be safe. I’ll call you later.”

“Love you too,” Peter beams, not at all covert, so whatever it is she’s hiding, Peter doesn’t know it’s a secret, that much is clear. Or he’s just very bad at keeping secrets which seems…unlikely for someone who apparently loves Natasha. And, if the soft voice and worried eyes are anything to go by, is loved in return. “It was an honour meeting you, Mr Stark Sir!” And then he’s out of the revolving doors and into the city’s bustling morning.

Neither of them speak for a moment, they just breathe: waiting.

Tony breaks the silence. “A friend of yours?” He asks breezily, and Natasha squares her shoulders and turns to look him right in the face.

She feels taller than him. She must be wearing heels. Or Tony’s thoroughly intimidated. “Tony,” she mutters, shaking her head, “we have an understanding, you and I, right? That sometimes you leave well enough alone. That you trust me when I tell you- you don’t need to know anymore.”

He nods slowly, wondering if he’s being manipulated. It’s hard to tell with Nat. It’s one of the reasons he likes her so much. She’s as good as deferring as he is. Good at distracting people with irrelevant things to squirrel away the crux of the matter. As it is, he’s content to let it lie. “Fine by me. Does anyone else know anything?”

He’ll be a little jealous if they do. She shakes her head, eyes hard. “It’ll stay that way.”

He crosses his heart, and thinks no more of it.

* Oh sure fine, he scans everywhere for a Peter at any of the nearby college’s but there are thousands and Friday can’t seem to match anyone to the boy in reception from earlier. It’s like his face is scrambled and Tony’s sure Natasha’s protecting him.

For what? The boy had seemed harmless enough. Unless he’s some sort of ex-Hydra mind controlled operative, which seems unlikely, there must be another reason.

Family, is Tony’s first thought. You do for family.

But he’s not sure Romanov is her real name and Peter Romanov or even Pietro brings nothing up. Blank. Suspiciously blank.

Tony sighs, and decides to actually let it lie.

*

But then it happens again, another accident.

His muscles ache and it’s nearly three am when he leaves the lab. Sleep has finally demanded his attention, and he’s headed to his bedroom when he feels a cool breeze ruffle the sweaty strands of hair pressed against his neck.

He frowns and heads to the balcony, but all the doors are sealed.

The wind blows again, so he follows it up the stairs towards the roof and sure enough, lit by the light of New York, is Peter.

He’s sitting on the ledge, a bowl of cereal in his palm, spoon in his other hand, gesturing wildly about something or other, so milk sloshes dangerously around each side.

Natasha comes into view too, she’s in her pyjamas unlike Peter who’s wrapped up warm in a coat, and she’s carrying a box of Lucky Charms. She laughs; face unguarded, relaxed in a way Tony’s never seen. He watches, hidden by the shadows, as she pours more cereal into Peter’s bowl until it’s teeming with sugary tokens.

Peter laughs, gesturing her away. “I’m not that hungry!”

“You’re too thin is what you are,” she teases lightly, sitting right beside him.

Tony sees it then, in that moment. The sharp cut of their jawlines, the delicate slender slope of their noses- siblings.

Natasha has a little brother. He feels winded.

“And you’re sure Mr Stark won’t mind us being up here?”

She rolls her eyes. “No one ever comes up here. Besides, it’s one of the perks in being his personal assistant.”

Peter shakes his head in awe. “That is so cool. You have the coolest job ever.”

It’s like a heavy punch to the gut. His personal assistant? Natasha has never been that- not even when she technically was, she wasn’t really. Not for years. She’s lying to her brother.

Tony can understand why, of course. To keep him safe. It also has the double benefit of making sure that even if Peter were captured, he wouldn’t be able to say anything.

Tony thinks it’s probably more so for the former reason.

He heads back down, shaking his head and trying to picture it. Natasha with a little brother. As a protective older sister. Making sure he does his homework, inside jokes, beating up bullies, making sure he eats, texting him. All normal things. He struggles to piece it into one person.

* Over scrambled eggs on brown toast, Tony brings it up.

“What’s your brother’s major?” He asks innocently.

Natasha takes a mean bite out of the corner of her toast, as if she wishes the bread were Tony’s jugular. She chews deliberately slowly, and then swallows. “Tony.” She says warningly, and he shrugs, lifting up his hands in innocence.

But he’s never known when to quit. “Science? Engineering? Give me a hint.” The kid had gushed over everything Tony had written, he must know at least a little bit of science. Plus, Nat’s always been scarily rational. “Math?”

She sets down her breakfast, and folds her hands under her chin. She doesn’t speak. She just stares.

He refuses to sweat under her glower. “You know you can trust me, right?” He says, more softly.

Her face softens at that, and she returns to her breakfast, looking at is as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I know that, Tony. But this isn’t about me. It’s about Peter.”

“He thinks you’re my personal assistant.”

She doesn’t ask how he knows. Just takes it in stride, like she does with most things. “Yes.”

“You’re protecting him?”

Her eyes gleam. “Always.” She says fiercely, and Tony’s struck by the strength of it. He’s never had any siblings, any close friends like that. Someone to look out for him, always, something in his blood. He has Rhodey, but Rhodey’s never needed protecting. It’s different. He’s never known his whole life with someone loving him as ferociously as Natasha loves Peter.

“I could protect him too,” Tony offers, going for off-hand and light-hearted, even as her eyes, razor-sharp, dart to his face. He busies himself by sprinkling black pepper over his eggs. “You’ve done a pretty good job hiding him from the database, but I could add a whole other level of protection. Keep him off everything for good. No one could ever get their hands on him.”

She’s silent for a while. Pondering it. She’s not stupid enough to reject it outright through sheer stubbornness. “You would do that?” She asks tentatively, and Tony scoffs.

“Of course, I would. I’d do anything for you.”

The look she gives him makes him feel warm. Like maybe he’s her older brother.

“He would probably die for the chance to meet you,” she muses, before smiling in that way that says she’s given in. “If I introduced you, you could never tell anyone, Tony, I mean it. Not if we fight, not if you’re trying to get to me, I would destroy you.”

He thrums with excitement, even as his brain says: maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

* For obvious reasons, Nat doesn’t want to bring Peter to the penthouse.

Instead, she and Tony find themselves on the jet to MIT.

“MIT, really?” He scoffs at her, “my terf! And you didn’t even tell me!”

“Don’t pout.” She hums, looking out of the window. “He’s very smart. Smarter than you, for sure.”

Tony blinks affrontedly. Before he shrugs her off.“You would say that. You’re biased.”

“He’s majoring in Aeronautics and Mathematics, and he’s averaging an A in Jefferson’s class.”

“Bullshit,” Tony gapes, “no one gets an A in Jefferson’s class.” He knows the old bullfrog wouldn’t give a student an A if his life depended on it. It was something of a legend back in Tony’s day to try. He’s not surprised the man’s still there. Like a statue, probably embedded into the building’s heart.

She smiles smugly. “Peter does.”

“Peter does,” he mimics in a high-pitched voice. They enjoy silence for a moment, before he clears his throat to ruin it: “Your brother, he’s…eighteen?”

She arches an eyebrow. “Yes.”

“Right, right,” he nods, phew. “He’s very…pretty.”

“Tony.”

“Of course, I wasn’t gonna try anything-“

“Jesus,” she rolls her eyes, but her tone is firm. “Do you have to try and get in the pants of everything that moves?”

“Not everything. Just very pretty things. And I never said I was going to try, I was just making an observation. Anyone could see it. You’ve got some great family genes.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to say it, Tony, but touch my brother, and I will kill you.”

He slouches in his seat and sighs. Beautiful and smart and completely off limits. He’s sure he’ll have no problem adhering to that rule.

#starker #nat and tony friendship #peter is natasha's younger brother #protective natasha #peter x tony #preslash #flirting #hero worship #really prestarker #precious peter parker #playboy tony #pining tony #oblivious peter #natasha #tony #peter

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 38)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:4262

Warnings: Language,shirtless Loki, self deprecation, teasing, Smut!!!! just kidding but there is some implied

song for this part:Better- Betty Who, Graveyard- Halsey

Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shannon had got you situated in her old room on her old floor with Lucky laying on the bed with you, keeping you company. You assured Shannon you were okay for the thirtieth time before she finally left. You tapped into her speaker system and played some good heartbreak songs while crying all night. Would things ever be right with you and Loki? Were things over between you two? Did he no longer trust you? Were you really turning into someone who could say what you said to him? 

You didn’t know, you didn’t have the answers. All you knew was you had heart wrenching songs, a sweet canine companion, and a pillow to cry into, and for now, that’s all you needed. 

The following morning, you woke up with puffy eyes but you wanted to try and see what Loki was up to. Did he care that you weren’t there? Did he even notice your absence? 

You ordered JARVIS to pull up the security feed to the cell and you watched it for thirty minutes. Loki hadn’t woken yet, which was a bit unusual, but you remained watching. Finally, he began stirring. It was odd, even though you were still upset, seeing him shirtless still sent a pool of heat to your core as he lied in black satin sheets.

When he came all the way to, he looked over and noticed you weren’t in the bed. He felt your spot on the bed and must’ve felt that it was cold. He glanced at the open bathroom door then and noticed you weren’t in there either. Quickly, he raced out to the common living area, clad in nothing but pajama bottoms. He checked the kitchen counter and stainless steel fridge for a note, when he failed to find one, he checked the glass coffee table, not finding one there either. Next, he ran into your office -- nothing. 

He stepped into back into the main area, the realization hitting him that you didn’t stay in the cell. With a slight flicker of his hand, a clone of himself appeared. 

“She’s left, that’s not shocking,” the clone mocked. 

“Shut up,” he ordered. 

“If you didn’t want me to talk, why did you conjure me?” the clone demanded. 

“Why isn’t she here?” he asked, ignoring the snarky replica.

“Because you keep pushing her away. Before, when she was imprisoned in here, because of you, I might add, she couldn’t get away. You pissed her off and she was forced to sleep here, to stay here. Now, she can leave whenever you decide to hurt her.”

“Hurt her? She’s working with that maniac that nearly killed me,” he argued with himself. 

“You mean the world renowned physicist that you set off? The one that was doing his job? He’s no different than Shannon, Stark, or the soldier… The only difference is, Banner has the power to beat you.” 

“She should’ve known this would hurt me… She did it on purpose.”

“Yes, because the first thing prisoners do when their released is ask for more security while they’re in the outside world,” the clone remarked with an eyeroll. “Face the facts. You’ve hurt her by acting like a fool, so she left.”

“I didn’t mean to react that way. I just… She’s going to forget about me. She’s going to go back to doing what she loves, she’ll be surrounded by all those heroes and one day, she’s going to wake up, look at me, and regret the moment she ever said yes to me…” 

“And you’re going to decide all of that for her? You’re just going to assume that she’s going to do that? After everything she’s done for you, and with you? You think spending some time with the heroes will suddenly make her hate you?” 

“Well no, but--”

“But what? If you’re so scared of losing her, you need to start acting like you want to keep her, rather than finding ways to figure out how she might leave you. But that didn’t occur to you, did it? Because you’re used to running, to trickery, to betrayal… You can’t fathom the thought that she could possibly love you unconditionally, for you.”

“How could she? She said it herself. I’m a monster,” Loki suddenly responded, a sad smile on his face as he played with the palm of his hand. His nervous habit. 

“Did she? Or was she simply pointing out your flawed prejudice against Dr. Banner? Seems to me you’re finding all these excuses not to realize it’s your fault she’s left. But that’s familiar, isn’t it? It’s Odin’s fault you had a melt down. It’s Thor’s fault you didn’t earn the crown. It’s Thanos’ fault your mother died alone. But who is really at the center of all of these problems?”

“I’ve accepted the fact that I’m the problem when it comes to my family,” Loki nearly growled at himself.

“Then you need to accept the fact that you’re the problem when it comes to you and Y/N, as well. Last I checked, she came back to you, back to a cell that marked her wrongful imprisonment, just to spend the night with you, just to show you that you weren’t alone, as she’s done time and time again…”

“Well what do I do? I can’t exactly call her,” he muttered. 

“You hope she decides to give you another chance,” the clone informed. “But then again, maybe if you lose her, you’ll finally realize you need to take responsibility for the pain you cause people…” 

With another flicker, the clone was gone and the door to your room was being opened as Shannon entered with a tray full of delicious smelling food.

“Good morning,” she greeted sweetly, putting the tray on the desk, glancing to the monitors. “Whatcha up to?” 

You went to look at her, but realized you were crying, so you wiped your face quickly with your sleeve. “Uh, just watching Loki…” you informed. 

She sat in the spare office chair and looked at you for a moment. “Another fight, hmm?” 

You didn’t tell her last night why you weren’t staying down there, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out why you weren’t sleeping with your boyfriend. 

Nodding, you ran the security footage back to when you got to the cell, letting her watch the scene in its entirety. 

“Oh, Y/N, I didn’t think he would take it like that. If you want, I can have it so that you work with me more than with him?” She walked over to you sitting down by your feet. “Is there anything you want to talk about, we haven’t had much of a girls talk in well forever.” She reached for your hand hoping to be of some sort of consolation. 

You shook your head. “No, no. I’m excited to work with Bruce. If Loki’s gonna get mad every time I go work with someone that he pissed off… well he’s going to be in for a rude awakening,” you said with a laugh. “We pissed of a lot of people here in New York. I want to do this. I want to work with Bruce. He’s just going to have to be okay with that.”

“Well yeah but if it’s uncomfortable I’d rather you tell me right away.” She moved to sit cross legged in front of you munching on mango. “Anyways let everything out Y/N/N, I’m sure there’s a lot you’d like to get out.” She patted your leg.

“Working with Bruce is fine. No offense, but he’s better at physics than you,” you teased with a wink. “I think I’ll like it. But… just… Loki and his temper. It’s awful. I mean, he gets so mad at the smallest things and twists my words. It’s infuriating. And I don’t know if it’s just being in prison, or if it’s the brainwashing. I barely knew him before we dove off that bridge, so I have nothing to compare it to. Thor told me that he never got mad, he got even. But it just seems like no matter what I do, it isn’t right. If I stay, he’s accusing me of deceiving him and lying to him about wanting to stay. If I leave, he sees it as a threat of me leaving and never coming back. There’s no winning…” You took a deep breath and looked at her. “Do you ever have problems like that with Tony? Where the problem just seems to go around and around and you can never fix it?” you asked as you grabbed an orange and started to peel it. 

“Kinda. It mostly revolves with him and the arc reactor, he just won’t stop messing with it. He took it out a few months ago and I had to shove it back into him or else he would have gone into a coma. We got into it because I told him to leave it alone and he threw it at me saying that it’s the same when I mess with my powers. I’ve been trying to see how I can get the empath powers out of me but still nothing. I’ve been running so many tests that my arm looks like I’m a junkie.” She lifts her sleeve to show you.

You leaned forward, taking her arm in your hand, staring at it. “Jesus, Shannon. Does he know?”

“He may have caught me taking some blood samples… I was trying to see if there was any of it laced in there. My blood feels like it boils when I get hooked on someone’s anger.” She popped a piece of fruit into her mouth.

You couldn’t help but slightly laugh, no humor there. “That’s how I feel when anyone mentions Loki negatively.” Your hands sparked purple. “That was Thanos’s doing. To keep me pissed off.. What an ingenious way to do that. To take the love I have for someone, and twist it into a weapon.” You shook your head at the cruelty of it. “I remember when I used to want to have powers like you,” you remembered, somewhat fondly. “I used to pray I could be cool, and have all these mutant abilities. I mean, your powers let you get to know Xavier and all of the X-Men…”

“Well yeah but it’s not like all the mutations I have are good… in the time you were gone I went on missions with the team and I robbed the bad guys of their powers and I still have them. I’ve just chosen not to use them, even though they tend to take control of me.” She looked back at you. “Your powers are all yours because your Asgardian, mine came about because of a flaw in my experiment.” 

“You’ll figure out how to get the bad ones out,” you assured. “If anyone can do it, it’s you… and maybe Charles,” you said with a laugh. “Maybe you should give him a call and see if he and Jean could maybe put you under and… I don’t know, perhaps extract the parts of you that take on the mutations. I’m not a molecular biologist, that isn’t my field, but I imagine it’s like finding a cancerous tumor. Find the thing that’s out of order in the DNA and fix it.”

“Yeah I think I will but for now there’s other things to worry about. Like planning this wedding, making sure you're okay and situated. Keeping Tony out of trouble.” She giggled, remembering something. “I have to tell you last year I caught him making blueprints for a female Iron Man suit. It’s a lot more form fitting than his from the looks of it. I think he’s trying to make it for me because I keep taking one of his, but the thing is I don’t want my own suit. I told him he doesn’t need to make it but he still did.”

You shook your head. “Men. They have trouble listening, don’t they? Why don’t you want a suit of your own? I think it would be kinda cute if you two flew around in matching suits. I mean, I upgraded my wardrobe when Loki and I got together,” you reminded, thinking back fondly to the black and green hooded robe you used to wear. 

“I mean yeah it would be cute but then that would also means having to take the role as Iron Woman if people were to see me in the suit. It’s challenge enough being a part of the Avengers but it's a whole other thing being a figure I’m not. You two look good together in those colors.” She was remembering the cloak from the time you’d had come back.

“Thanks. Loki could look good in a burlap sack,” you remarked with a faint laugh, reaching for a piece of toast. “What if you are Iron Woman, though? I’ve seen the way the Avengers practically adore you. Tony, Bruce, and Steve are all willing to bend over backwards for you. Nat and you are practically best friends. Would it really be that far of a stretch to say you could fulfill the role of being Iron Woman? You’re intelligent, gifted, talented, sweet…”

“Aww, Y/N/N, as much as I appreciate the compliment, that’s not who I want to be. It would feel like the Red Room all over again. As much as it would be cool to fight in the suit, I’d rather be in the lab or helping the team find the bad guys and put a stop to them. To tell you the truth I’ve never had to enter a fight… well besides the one we had but that’s been about it. All my missions have been me controlling the villain while the team does everything else. And yeah I get along with them but it’s not the same. I was just a regular person before Stark Industry before the Red Room.” She looked at Lucky seeing him eye a piece of toast. She stole a piece from you to give to her.

“I get that. You don’t want your identity to be on the battlefield. In Asgard that’s nearly all there was. To be revered as amazing, you had to be battle worthy. It’s why Thor was so beloved. Other than that, there were the farmers, the medicine people, and the scientists. So when I learned that if I wanted Odin to like me, I needed to train, I was scared. I mean, you know how skilled I am with weapons -- I suck!” You laughed. “And now I suddenly had to wield a sword and a shield and powers… Thankfully, I was trained by the best of the best. If you don’t want to do that, then don’t. I bet Tony was just building it to say, if and when you’re ready, it’s there.” 

“Yeah I guess you’re right, things have been different lately. Fury has been asking that I be brought on missions more often. But aside from that, tell me what was it like spending time with Loki when you were in Asgard. I never got to hear about you two going swimming,” she asked you, wanting to hear about it.

Immediately, your cheeks blazed. You slightly pushed her, laughing. “Of course you’d ask about that, perv!” you teased, eyeing her. She began laughing heartily. “Um… Let me see… God that was so long ago. Well I remember being really fucking nervous, are you kidding me? Loki was… god the most handsome man I’d ever seen, and the most well read, and he carried himself like… well, like royalty. Everything about him was intimidating as hell. But he seemed to be warming up to me at that point. He had already spent nearly every day training me in swordsmanship. I will say it was really weird seeing Loki in his battle attire every day which covers him from the neck down, to nothing but swimming shorts. Hell, it was weird for me to go from the swathy robes and gowns to a two piece bathing suit. I felt like melting into oblivion,” you stated, remembering that night. You were extremely nervous that night you would make a fool of yourself. “I thought that night was my one and only chance to kind of win him over, you know? Impress him with my knowledge and grace. You know, basically flirt, that one thing I can’t do. I mean, you remember my track record with guys...” 

Shannon couldn’t help but giggle at seeing how red you’d gotten, thinking about how she was the same way with Tony. “That’s adorable, Y/N, but I mean look at you, you’re with him. Yeah there are some tough times but damn I see the love you have for him is greater than anything else. I can see how happy he makes you.” She smiled sincerely at you.

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, he really does. I mean, every guy I ever dated before doesn’t even compare to him. Sure, he makes me crazy but…” You laughed slightly. “What about you? How does it feel to be engaged? To Tony Stark, no less. You’re gonna be married to him! That’s so wild!” 

Now it’s her turn to blush, she never really thought much about it. “It still feels like a dream some days, you know how much I’ve always liked him and then he asked me out and things have been great. There have been a few bad moments but I still can’t believe it. I always dreamed of getting married to him but now that it’s come true I have no idea what to feel.” She twisted the ring on her finger as she smiled at you.

You watched her in in awe, grinning at her, and thinking to yourself. “That must be an amazing feeling, I’m sure. To know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. That he thought about it for hours on end, searched for the perfect ring, waited for the perfect moment… He really does love you. I can tell… mainly because he’s constantly threatening me if I hurt you again,” you half-joked. Thoughts of marriage and wedding began dancing in your head, but you tried to push them down. 

“Well that's a thing we kind of clash on he still believes you could…well that doesn’t matter. I never would have guessed that he would want me to be in his life forever. But tell me what.. or more like why Loki? I mean out of all the Asgardians, why him? I mean yeah he’s charming and good looking what caught your eye?” She went to changing the subject trying to keep you happy. 

“Why Loki? Hmm… That’s… a good question. I guess… I saw a tortured soul. I saw someone who just wanted to be seen and loved for who he truly was. I saw myself in him, as he was adopted. I saw myself in him when I would catch him reading in the library at late hours. I watched how performing magic with his mom made him tremendously happy. He’s witty, and clever, in ways I’ve never seen in any one. And I don’t mean all the mean ways, like betrayal. For instance, a lot of people see him as a trickster, a prankster, right? Well, some might say he’s being childish, silly, or even mean. He once turned bread on a table into snakes at a royal dinner. All he did was smirk and sip his wine as a few of the women screamed and jumped back. But what I saw, was that Thor loves snakes and he took one and kept it as a pet for a few days before releasing it into the wild. Odin even smirked ever so slightly at the gag. While some people see his antics as mean, I could see they were the actions of a man who only wanted to make people around him laugh. He also used to do tricks for the local children. That’s why he resorts to humor and mockery in desperate situations. He uses the gifts he was taught. Thor had his looks, braun, and charm to go on. I could tell Loki had to work twice as hard with nearly everyone he encountered to get the same respect. So he resorted to the only ways he knew how.” You smiled for a moment, recalling all the wonderful times you had on Asgard with Loki, observing him, watching him. “His taste in poetry always left me stunned. He knew I loved art so he showed me around the art hall in Asgard and we both loved the same pieces… It was as if the fates designed it. Not to mention us almost growing up together… Can you imagine? God. What a weird life that would be.”

The entire time you spoke Shannon was so struck with how different the Loki you spoke of sounds compared to what she’d seen. Granted, it wasn’t a good part of him, but it did give light to a different side of him. “I wished I’d been there to see it all, it sounds to me like you two are a perfect match. To hear you tell me about the times on Asgard with him and how happy you sound makes it worthwhile.” At that point, Shannon had cleared the bed of breakfast and she was lying on the bed sideways. “If it's not too much to ask, can you tell me about what made you jump after him during his fight with Thor? I don’t want to overstep any boundaries.” 

You shook your head. “It’s no problem at all… I… um… Our time together on Asgard was precious. I can honestly say he and I grew almost as close in two months as you and I did in our ten years together. We spent nearly every waking moment together. If Loki wasn’t training me, we were reading, exploring the palace, he was taking me into the woods, we were riding horseback. He helped try and find all the knowledge about my birth parents he could… I mean, I’ve been in love before, you know that,” you said, gesturing at her as she nodded, recalling two men you had been pretty close with. “But Loki, the love I feel for him it completely swept me up. It’s that sort of dizzying, intoxicating love that you’d do anything for, you know? When I saw him fall into that abyss… Nothing else was on my mind but life without him, and suddenly that became unbearable, so I jumped. I didn’t think about Earth, Asgard, my parents, you, Lucky… Any of it. I knew that if Loki died, I would die with him. So I thought I might as well join him. I thought maybe somehow if I jumped with him, he wouldn’t be alone. He’d felt so alone all his life, I couldn’t imagine him dying alone too. I also somewhat hoped that he’d survive the fall, and I would be with him then too.” 

“I’ve never heard you talk like this, Y/N but I can understand what you mean. If it’d been me and Tony, I would have done the same, granted almost did when he’d been taken hostage and had his own weapons turned on him.” She seemed to go to a dark moment in the past, but fazed out of it. “I’m just glad to know you’re alive and you're here with me now. That’s all that matters now.” She hugged your leg to reassure herself. 

The rest of the day, the two of you spent chatting, positive things mainly, until you had to report for work and Shannon had a mountain of paperwork to get through for Tony and herself. When you were finished with your work, you decided to go see Loki, hoping he’d cooled down and thought about what he had said and done. 

The familiar whoosh of the doors alerted Loki of your presence, he watched as you walked inside the room. He wondered if you would join him in the cell. Without hesitation, you walked over to the cell doors and put your hand on the scanner, it granting you access. 

You knew that if you stood outside and talked to him, it would be this division between you two. It would symbolize how you felt like he was a prisoner and you were a civilian, free to live. Standing outside and talking to him would mean that you felt you belonged out there and he belonged in there, but you were here to show him there was no divide, there was no separation. You were his and you would follow him anywhere, be with him anywhere. 

“Loki,” you said, ready to duke out another fight but he simply stood from his place on the couch and held up a hand. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, can you forgive me? I behaved like an idiot and I’m truly sorry.”

You stuttered nothing, incoherently for a second before you finally said, “Uh, yes, I forgive you. But wha--”

Before you could say anything else he was to you in a second, his mouth colliding with yours, his fingers tangling in your hair. “I vow to be the man you deserve,” he suddenly breathed in between kisses, barely giving you time to breathe before he suddenly picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, the fight utterly forgotten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tag List: @essie1876​ @magpiegirl80​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @iamwarrenspeace​ @marvel-imagines-yes-please​ @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification​ @thejemersoninferno​ @rda1989​ @munlis​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @bubblyanarocks3​​ @igiveupicantthinkofausername​​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @feelmyroarrrr​​ @kaelingoat​ @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​ @damalseer​​ @heyitscam99​​ @yknott81​​ @sorryimacrapwriter​​ @glitterquadricorn​​ @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm​​ @alyssaj23​​ @sea040561​​ @princess76179​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ @sarahp879​​ @malfoysqueen14​​ @ellallheart​​ @breezy1415​​ @marvelmayo​​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711​

Loki: @lostinspace33​​ @ultrarebelheart​​ @lenawiinchester​​ @esoltis280​​ @tngrayson​​ @wangdeasang​​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​​

UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

@pandacookieowo​

#unforeseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark x ofc #tony stark #tony stark fic #mentions of thor #mentions of odin