#fuckboy! au

[jessikahathaway]

Cat Got Your Tongue? - JJK (M)

Hello everyone! I’m back with another Jungkook fic because I have Jk brain rot rn. Please enjoy the story and just as a reminder to everyone-I am no longer doing taglists. I apologize for the inconvenience to anyone, but please enjoy the fic! Feel free to send in asks or chat with me, I love to hear from you all <3

Special thank you to Ryn @queenofthedamnit​ and Ella @oddinary4bts​ for Betaing this fic for me! I appreciate you both very much!

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Fem!Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Genre: College!AU, FWB to Lovers, Romance, Smut, lil bit of angst

Warnings: Miscommunication, emotionally constipated OC (who’s surprised? not me), fuckboy jk (that is a warning y’all), Reader is a member of BM’s Big Tiddy Gang, Hobi and Joonie being boyfriends (because I love them both), sick kitten (she gets better!), vet tech yoongles (phew that’s an entirely different wip), SMUT WARNINGS: Virgin Reader, loss of virginity, oral sex (male and female receiving), protected and unprotected sex (do the former not the latter), creampie, vaginal sex, breif daddy Kink (i’m sorry Ella), dirty talk, titty sucking, hair pulling, Jk gets freak nasty.

Words: 18.1k

Summary: You were exhausted from schoolwork and just needed a chance to unwind. Jungkook, campus fuckboy, offers his services to help alleviate the stress from studying but is he going to cause more stress than he relieves?

“Honestly, this is ridiculous.”

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair as you tried in vain to study.

“I don’t see why you’re having so many issues lately,” Namjoon, your tutor and quasi friend, sighed before rubbing his face in mutual frustration.

“I don’t either!” you cried, resting your head in your hands. It was rare for you to be frustrated or worked up... Or show any emotion other than moderate irritation.

It was that time of year again where the big exams start hitting before you can run off and celebrate with your friends-well, more like celebrate with a big glass of wine and a job well done. And hopefully you won’t lose your scholarship and have to go back home to the absolute anarchy that is your home life.

The middle child of seven you hate everything that life had to offer you.

It was stagnant. They were comfortable with mediocrity, you were not. You had drive, and passion and you weren’t going to waste it by staying in the same dinky town with your four older brothers and two younger twin sisters.

Since you weren’t into the sports scene like all of your brothers, and you weren’t young and docile like the twins you were kind of outcasted by your family. You knew they loved you in their own way, but it wasn’t enough to make you stay when you turned old enough for college.

Your parents helped you with what they could but it’s hard being parents to seven children. Let alone one that wants to travel damn near four hours for school.

They made it happen, and so did you.

Nothing was going to keep you away from this. Not a damn thing.

So, you came here with an objective and you won’t leave without accomplishing it to the absolute best of your ability. And that meant failure wasn’t an option.

But right now?

It was encroaching a little too close for your comfort.

Namjoon was a saint, he was patient and tried every way to explain something to you in hopes of being able to ease your worries and midterm stress but there was really nothing he could do. Nothing was sticking and it was just causing you more and more frustration and anxiety.

“Hey, don’t freak out,” Namjoon tried to calm you. “Maybe you just need to... I don’t know, get all your pent up frustration out, hm? Maybe like kickboxing or um... Regular boxing? I don’t know, something where you can hit stuff with your tiny fists.”

“I love that you think that was a compliment,” you sighed in defeat. “I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna have to go back home and I’m gonna have to be some wife for a fucking farmer. I’ll have to have ninety children and my vagina is gonna look like-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there because no part of me wants to know what a vagina looks like after ninety children okay? Okay,” he said, face turning slightly green at the thought. “And no, you aren’t going to fail, you aren’t going to go home and be a farmer's wife unless you want to. You’re not going to give up either.”

You gave Namjoon a very rare, but genuine smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently.

“Joonie!” a bright voice called.

Before Namjoon could blink his boyfriend, Hoseok, was on his back.

“Oof!”

Laughter filled the air between the two and you waved at Hoseok neutrally. He gave you his beaming smile that always made you want to return it. Although you weren’t sure your smile was that blinding.

“What’s up? Did they cancel practice early?” Namjoon asked.

“Nah, they’re doing lower level stuff today so the teacher said I could take it off. Because I am a protege as they say,” he snickered.

Namjoon just pushed him before turning back to you. “You’re gonna do fine, Y/N, promise. We can schedule another time but I think you should probably take a break,” he said.

That dreaded word.

Break.

What does it mean? Why?

To stop something?

Or for something to do the act of breaking as in falling apart?

You didn’t like breaks. They gave you time to think, they gave you time to ruminate over your own issues and anxieties and then you found yourself wallowing. No distractions means too much time alone.

Seeing as how you have few friends, even fewer since moving here.

Namjoon was your tutor, but you wouldn’t say that you were like... Super friends or anything. He cares about you, it's in his nature, but you two rarely hung out outside of study sessions. Hoseok you knew by association with Namjoon.

There was Yeji, she was a freshman this year and had asked for some help with a project after seeing you as the TA. You’d fallen into a mother hen role with her and will literally fight anyone who tries to hurt her. She’s your baby, you birthed her. But you don’t really see her as a friend friend, if that makes sense. You feel responsible for her, but you know she’s not stupid either. She’s a capable young woman.

A few of your friends back home, Felix and Bomi are always available for a chat if necessary as well. But they still live there, and their mindsets are very much of the small town variety.

Nothing wrong with that, but you’d rather not get stuck in a place where people either don’t care to grow and try to force others to think the same as them.

Ah, herd mentality, thou art a heartless bitch.

Okay, maybe your comfort show is the big bang theory, who cares?

“Y/N...?”

Ah, people were still here.

“Right, sorry...” you mumbled.

Hoseok looked at you with a small pout before looking at the papers. He’d never seen you struggle so much. “What’s wrong, Y/N? Everything okay in that wonderfully smart brain of yours?”

You winced, because right now you felt everything but wonderfully smart. “Um, not particularly, but I’ll figure it out I guess. And not through boxing,” you said, giving a pointed look to Namjoon who just seemed more embarrassed than anything.

“You know, you’re rather feisty when necessary,” Hoseok chuckled. “Boxing would be  entertaining.”

“I’m not the sporty type, I’m afraid,” you said, resting back on the chair.

“Why did you suggest boxing in the first place?” Hoseok asked, trying to catch up.

Namjoon frowned before sighing. “She’s frustrated and angry at herself, I was trying to think of a good outlet that would maybe get her to focus a little bit.”

Hoseok nodded. “Well, I mean there’s always sex,” he pointed out.

You froze while Namjoon perked up. “Fuck! You’re right!’

Hoseok smiled at his boyfriend like the fucking psychopath that he is while suggesting you do something so... so out your depth.

“See, Y/N?” Hoseok offered. “Just find a nice boy or girl or nonbinary individual who strikes your fancy and... well, let it out.”

“I know you think that will help, but it won’t,” you frowned.

“Why? Sex always helps me get out a little pent up frustration,” Namjoon said with a pout.

Hoseok nodded wistfully. “Oh yes, it certainly does,” he smiled with a cheeky wink.

“Right,” you said, voice cold and chopped while you gathered your materials.

“I’m sorry, Y/N I didn’t mean to overstep-” Hoseok started but you stood quickly and ignored him.

“Namjoon, can we meet again in two days? My project isn’t due until next Saturday so I’ll have some time to rest,” you said.

The older man looked at his boyfriend who looked rather guilty before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll send you a message with schedule times and you let me know what works for you.”

You nodded before heading off towards the exit of the library. You didn’t turn back to see Hoseok and Namjoon share a worried look before you left the premises.

--

“I mean it’s not a bad idea,” Yeji said as she worked on her project in the classroom after the lecture.

“Are you kidding me?” you said, turning to look at her as you wiped the whiteboard down.

“Not usually no, it goes over your head when I try,” she said. “You’re very literal.”

You pouted before turning back to the board. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It can be,” Yeji said, eyes still on her laptop.

“If this is a Y/N roasting session-”

Yeji shut her laptop and looked at you, genuine care swirling in her eyes. “It’s not that Y/N, you know that.”

You shut your mouth.

Yeji had a tendency to go on tangents when she felt strongly about something or someone or a topic. She was gearing up for one right now and you had a feeling you were not ready for what she was going to say.

“Why do you think that having sex to let loose and have a little pleasure and fun is such a bad thing?” she asked, resting her head on her hand.

“I-I don’t think it’s bad,” you defended. “I just don’t think it’s for me.”

“But you wouldn’t know,” she countered.

With a sigh you faced her fully, crossing your arms before looking her dead in the eye. “I’m a virgin, Yeji. I’ve got the V-card very much so intact and probably not going anywhere any time soon.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said. “And you don’t have to go all the way with another person. You can just do oral or mutual masturbation or-”

You waved your hand dismissively. “I’m not interested in having sex that’s going to last two minutes and leave me feeling sticky and used, thank you.”

“Not all sex is like that,” Yeji said kindly. “If you find someone you have good sexual chemistry with then it likely won’t happen.”

“I’m on a college campus. Where am I going to find someone who isn’t a one pump chump?”

“I think you have a very skewed vision of what sex is,” Yeji sighed. “Sex isn’t supposed to be crazy all the time. Sometimes it is just one pump and done, for some people that’s enough. Then there are times where you’re edged to the moon and back and then there’s casual. You’ve pigeon-holed something you know nothing about because you know nothing about it and it makes you uncomfortable. You like knowing everything, you like not being caught off guard because when you are, it makes you feel like you’re back home all over again.”

Your heart was trembling in your chest.

“I tend to forget you’re a psych major,” you sighed, but she just gives you a reassuring smile. She may be young but she has an intuition and perceptivity not common in anyone period. Age negated. “It’s not that I don’t want to have sex... I-I just don’t think I want a relationship right now and I also don’t want to be disappointed. Is it wrong of me to have expectations?”

Yeji shook her head. “Not really, at least I don’t think so. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your wants and needs to someone. It’s also not a bad thing to want sex and to not want a relationship. There’s several people who enjoy sex but are happily unmarried or whatever. It’s your choice.”

You nodded. “Okay... Okay-if! If! It is a very big if...” you muttered. “If I decided I wanted to do it with someone, where would I even start?”

The younger woman’s face broke out in a smile at you. “I think I might have just the guy.”

--

“Jeon Jungkook, 25, senior and sports science major. He’s a little older than you but not by much. He’s also got quite the repertoire of sexual prowess,” Yeji winked.

You two were in your apartment late one evening. You and Namjoon had met today and you apologized for your attitude at the last meeting and begged him to apologize to Hoseok as well.

He was shocked at your urgency but was quick to apologize as well.

“What kind of repertoire are we talking about here?” you asked, applying the face mask carefully.

“Well,” she began, sitting cross legged on your bed with a mask of her own on. “He’s super attractive, just look at those legs my god...”

“Describe more please,” you said, painting on your clay mask with intensive care.

“Apparently he’s into sports, photography and food,” she said, scrolling on her phone.

“That’s pretty generic,” you sighed.

“I’m not done,” she pouted.

You turned to squint at her. “Don’t pout it’ll ruin your mask, keep talking, I haven't said no yet.”

Yeji nodded before scrolling down some more. “Oooh, he’s kinky,” Yeji chuckled.

Your brows rose in shock. You sputtered out a feeble, “W-What do you mean, kinky?”

“Well, it’s an older picture but he’s got a girl on a leash and shit for halloween,” she chuckled.

“Okay, I’m not hating on the BDSM community but I don’t really wanna be on a leash before losing my virginity,” you said, finally finishing your mask before coming out to join her on your bed.

“Just look at him,” she said, handing you her phone while she went to pee.

And look you did.

This man was the epitome of the male specimen. He was handsome, toned and strong, he had an attractive face and beautiful jawline that was enough to make you cry. Soft cheeks and surprisingly gentle doe eyes that looked into the camera a few times.

Although he did seem like the typical fuck boy.

“He’s got a tongue emoji and a water spray emoji in his bio, what the fuck,” you sighed.

“He’s allowed to advertise if that’s what he’s offering,” Yeji said as she wandered back out.

“Okay, I’ll at least say he’s cute,” you admitted, looking at some of the other photos on his account. He had really nice pictures on here, some of the city and others of the campus.

“Cute? Cute?! Y/N, you’re looking at all the soft ones,” she complained.

“Am I not supposed to?” you asked in confusion.

Yeji sighed before taking her phone back. “Would you have sex with him?”

You thought it over for a moment. “I mean I’d probably have to meet him beforehand but I can’t deny that he’s attractive to me.”

She nodded in excitement. “Alright, perfect. Then we just need to get you to approach him!”

You felt your blood run cold. “I-I have to approach him?”

Yeji blanked. “You think he’s just gonna walk up to you and say, ‘hey! Saw you were a virgin looking for some great sex for stress relief. How about now? Or Tuesday at six thirty?’ Y/N, of course you’ll have to make the first move. You’re the one seeking him out.”

Damn, when she puts it that way.

“Okay! Okay okay, fine. How? Where do I find this elusive fuck boy?” you asked, laying back.

“Well, I’d suggest a party but those really aren’t your scene. Unless you want to go, in which case I have several dresses that would gladly take the fall for your endeavors,” she said.

“Yeji you’re very sweet to offer, but I’m afraid my boobs are a tad bigger than yours,” you sighed.

And by a tad, you meant a lot.

You were born in a farming community! The women were... curvier than average...

“Yeah, we should probably find something that will accentuate those bad boys. Or girls... However you want to gender them I guess, if at all,” she said.

“Yeji,” you sighed. “I don’t want to go to a party. I’d rather keep this as transactional as possible.”

“Well... I mean sex isn’t supposed to be a transaction unless you’re into that, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal, Y/N. Promise. It can be just a simple, ‘hey, I’m looking to lose my virginity and I don’t want it to be a total disaster, care to help me out?’ and if he says no then you move on to other avenues.”

Doesn’t have to be a big deal?

Yeah right...

--

Finding the said campus fuck boy was harder than anticipated.

But, of course, you find him on the worst of days...

Your period had come three days early, the cramps were worse than usual and you hadn’t showered in two days due to your bathroom flooding in your apartment.

But after a very desperate and tear filled phone call, Yeji confirmed you could crash at her dorm. Her roommate had moved out in search of a single bedroom dorm so she said the bed was yours as long as you needed it.

Thank God for Yeji.

So, as you waddled to your campus library you sat down in the stiff ass wooden chair and got to work. Thankfully, the place was empty, besides for Seokjin who mainly just read magazines and scoffed for comedic effect. Although, he was nice to look at when the words on your pages started swirling together.

Just as you were settling into your routine, you heard the door to the library opening. Seokjin’s voice called out.

“Yah! Jungkook,” he hollered. “Your book is almost a week overdue.”

Your head snapped towards the door. And, like some cruel universal joke against you, the very man you were trying to have in your bed walked in looking like a four course meal... While you felt and appeared to have just been recently run over by a semi-truck.

“Ah, sorry Jin,” he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

You caught yourself right before the perfectly timed swoon.

Stop!

He’s here! You finally have your chance to talk to him, and better yet, you’re alone!

Well... Sans the weirdly attractive librarian.

“Do you have the book?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking at the... what is he doing with his foot? Why is he toeing the ground like some character in an anime?

“You see, ah, Jin,” he said, coming closer to the counter.

“No, I don’t see a book, nothing to see but a gigantic pain in my ass,” Jin sighed.

“I have the book... I guess technically, I have half of it,” Jungkook explained.

“No,” Jin said.

“Huh?”

“Nope, you did not just come in here with half a late book and expect me to save your stupid ass again,” the librarian scolded.

Jungkook gave an entirely too adorable pout for a senior sports med major.

But you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain. You found that you were staring, so quickly you turned your head back towards your studies, seemingly indifferent to the men behind you.

You put your headphones on but then their conversation continued.

“I love you,” Jungkook whined. “Please? Please please please just let me off the hook this last time and I’ll give you Bitna’s socials?”

Jin was quiet for a second. “And that other friend of yours, the cute one who wore the crop top at the last party we were at together,” he said.

“Eunwoo?”

“That’s the one.”

“Deal.”

Jin gave a pained sigh before speaking again. “Alright, now that you’re done being a public menace what are your plans for the rest of the evening?”

“Not too sure, but-oh,” Jungkook stopped. “Sorry Jin, I didn’t know there were people here right now.”

“Ah, she’s here all the time, don’t worry about it.”

They’re talking like you aren’t there, so either they saw your headphones and assumed you weren’t listening or they really didn’t care about you listening in.

“What’s her name? Do you know?” Jungkook asked.

“Hah, good luck,” Jin said, making some noise so he was probably getting back to work.

Good, finally be useful you handsome brat.

“What? Is she not into guys?” you could hear the questioning tone taking over his voice.

“Not too sure, I’ve seen her with the same three people damn near all year. She doesn’t do human interaction it appears, her name is Y/N. Always returns her books at least a week early or comes in and renews them, you know, like a polite young lady! Unlike you, freaking barbarian,” he huffed.

“Hmm, she’s pretty,” he said, it wasn’t said in a way that would make you uncomfortable. He was saying it in a way that was just observational.

“Yeah, but watch out. She’s kinda mean sometimes, she told me once my haircut made me look like a Newfoundland! Those big freaking water dogs that look horrific when they’re wet!” He whined softly.

Ah.

Damn.

You did unfortunately say that to him.

But you didn’t mean it entirely in a bad way...

“Aww, poor thing,” Jungkook laughed.

“Go over there and get shot down, then you won’t be so happy,” the librarian was speaking in pout.

“Fine!” Jungkook said.

Your heart picked up speed.

Fuck!

What do you say? What do you do??

This attractive man was coming over to talk to you-

You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.

With a jolt you turned instinctively to look back and saw that Jungkook was now much much much closer. He smelled incredible. He smelt like sandalwood and spice, his skin was glowing and his eyes were crinkled with a cute little smile on his face.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he said, offering you his hand.

“I know,” you said and your hand flew to your mouth as your eyebrows raised at the blunt words that came out of you.

Jungkook just chuckled softly. “Then I’m sorry for not extending the kindness to you, what’s your name?”

“Y-Y/N,” you said.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Your heart was beating so fast and you couldn’t calm it no matter how much you tried to ‘breathe through your nose and out through your mouth.’

Well, maybe it didn’t work if you were doing it at the speed of sound.

“Pretty, I like that. Don’t know that I’ve heard it before,” he stated, walking around to sit in the chair next to you. He did stop before sitting down and looked at you before you gave him a gentle nod that he could join you.

At least he had manners.

He was already way ahead of the average male on this campus.

“Thanks,” you said with a gentle tone.

“So, what’s your major?” he asked. “Any grand dreams after leaving uni or are you just going to run head first into tomorrow without looking back?” His tone was light, joking. But you still felt your heart hammering in your chest. What the hell was wrong with you?

“Uh... Well, I’m a History major with a minor in English,” you said, smoothing your notes down with your hands nervously.

Jungkook nodded in acknowledgement. “That sounds tough, I never had the patience for foreign languages,” he pouted. “If I’m not good at it right away I tend to get bored easily.”

“What’s your major?” you asked, even though you knew it already.

“Oh, I’m a sports med senior,” he said with a soft smile.

You nodded, looking back at your notes. Jungkook gazed at your papers and then his eyes moved back up to you.

“So, do you have any classes today?” he offered, resting his head on his hand as he watched you fiddle with the same notebook.

“No, I’m done for the week,” you answered honestly.

“Would you like to hang out with me then?” he asked.

You turned and raised a brow, confused at his interest. Even though this is what you’d been hoping for.

“You hardly know me, what are we gonna do?” you asked.

Jungkook chuckled. “I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t hoping for at least your number,” he said.

Your eyes widened at his statement.

“And maybe a bit of fun too if you’re interested. I’m not looking for anything serious, if you’re not into it then I’m cool with leaving you be. Just thought I’d shoot my shot,” he said with a little wink.

You could feel the heat on your face as you looked at the table awkwardly. “I-I’m interested,” you said, voice soft.

Jungkook’s eyes darkened as he smiled at you. “Really? Well... how about we get out of here then? Your place or mine?” he offered.

Your heart was hammering in your chest. “U-Uh mine is currently flooded, unfortunately... And I can’t do it today, exactly,” you said, already embarrassed.

“No?” he asked, voice gently teasing.

“I’m uh... well,” you struggled to say it. “Currently having to put those activities on hold.”

Jungkook looked confused before he seemed to understand. His eyes widened a bit before giving a softer nod. “I see, I apologize. The last thing you probably want is some guy hitting on you right now, sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude about it.”

You shook your head quickly. “No! No no, it’s fine. I would’ve said something if I wasn’t comfortable, but thanks.”

“Well, when you’re feeling better maybe we can hang out,” he said with a cute little smirk.

“Um... yeah, that’d be fun,” you said.

“Then give me your phone, I’ll put my number in there,” he said, holding his hand out. Like a robot you dropped your phone into his open palm with ease. You were shocked at how quickly you did it too.

He quickly put his number in, sending himself a text so he had your number as well. He handed you your phone back carefully, giving you a little smile as you tucked it away.

“Well, I’m going to head out. But, let me know when you want to get together, I think we could have some fun,” he said with a wink before standing up and walking out the door.

Jin watched with a shocked expression while Jungkook flipped him off before blowing him a kiss.

What in the hell did you get yourself into?

--

After the most awkward meeting with the campus fuckboy, you find yourself panicking when he texts you first.

Four days later.

Your period had ended, thank god. So now, you were trying to make plans to finally get your cherry popped as it were.

Yeji thought you were being hilarious while you fretted over what to send him.

“Honestly, Y/N, he sent you a hello text with the waving hand emoji, it’s not that serious. Just say hi back,” she encouraged.

“How? What do I say, Yeji?” You cried, holding your phone to your chest as if it could help calm your racing heart.

“Legit, just say Hi with a smiley face,” Yeji said with a pout.

“Okay, okay I can do that,” you stressed.

Jungkook: hello 👋

You: hi 😊

Jungkook: are you feeling okay?

You turned to Yeji with a worried face. “He’s asking me if I’m okay! I was on my period when we spoke oh fuck I wanna die-”

“Christ! Y/N! Quit being so dramatic, it’s fine. You’re fine. It’s all fine!”

Yeji was rubbing her temples and you swallowed hard.

She was right.

This was supposed to be an even exchange between you and the fuckboy. So you might as well cut to the chase. It didn’t have to be so difficult, right?

You: yeah, I feel fine thank you.

Jungkook: sure, did you want to hang out tonight?

You: can we be transparent?

Jungkook: ah, are my male charms coming off too strong? Sorry, but this is me asking to get in your pants if you want to. If not, that’s fine too.

You: no worries. I’m interested but I’ve got a bit of an issue.

Jungkook: ah, inexperienced?

You: you know I was hoping it wasn’t too obvious.

Jungkook: 😂 I get that

You: so is that okay?

Jungkook: yeah, I’ll send you my address and you can come over.

You: okay 👌

You turned to Yeji with a panicked expression. “He wants me to come over now…”

She nodded excitedly. “Alright! Grab some of your cute underwear and go! I’ll keep my phone on, you just showered so you’re in prime time for some good ole fashioned hanky panky,” Yeji teased.

You nodded. “Alright, okay. I got this, I can do this.”

You grabbed some lingerie you bought online in a wine drunken stupor and threw it on.

The deep teal color looked ravishing on you. The bra securing your girls into place. You grabbed some stockings and rolled them up your legs and threw on a simple skirt and long sleeve shirt before heading towards the door.

Yeji gave you a reassuring squeeze before you left.

“If you need me just give me a call, okay?” She asked.

You nodded gratefully before heading out the door.

Half an hour later you were at what you hoped was Jungkook’s apartment.

You knocked on the door, standing outside and holding your arms nervously. A few moments passed before Jungkook opened the door. He looked at you before giving you a quick smile as he stepped back to let you in.

With a small smile you walked in and looked around. Everything was relatively clean. It was obvious someone lived here but at the same time it wasn’t filthy, a little cluttered in some areas but overall rather nice.

“It smells nice in here,” you commented.

Jungkook winked. “I lit some candles for you,” he said.

You rolled your eyes before putting your purse on the counter.

“So,” Jungkook said, grabbing some drinks from the fridge. “When you say inexperienced, how little we talking?”

You froze.

“Uh… well,” you squirmed as you stood in place. Trying not to feel too awkward. Usually, you were the one making others squirm with inexperience. Your brain was clearly scrambling trying to make you not sound like a complete idiot.

Jungkook approached with a drink, just a can of Coke, but it was thoughtful nonetheless.

“I’m a virgin,” you said, holding the bright red can in your hand. The moment seemed oddly poetic.

“Ah, I see,” Jungkook nodded. “Well that changes things a bit.”

You looked at him quickly. Why did he sound like that?

“I’m sorry… is-is that a bad thing?” You asked. Usually you were far more confident than this, but everything this involved was out of your depth.

“Oh, no. It’s not bad to be a virgin, sex should happen when you’re ready and comfortable. That’s not what I’m getting at. I just don’t personally sleep with a lot of virgins,” he said, shrugging as he took a drink.

“Why not?” You asked.

“Personal, but all right,” he teased. “It’s a lot of pressure to be the only one with experience. Having to teach you not only what I like but what you like too. And, virgins tend to get a little attached. Not saying that’s a bad thing, for some people their virginity is important and what not but-it’s a lot of work.”

You pouted.

Well you didn’t think about it like that. You thought all men had that inner desire to take someone’s first time. It was pretty sexist looking back on it, so you apologized internally to the general populace before looking at Jungkook to do the same.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that, I understand if you don’t want to-uh… sleep with me,” you said, rubbing your neck.

Jungkook chuckled. “Ah, that’s not the case either. I said I don’t sleep with a lot of virgins, not that I haven’t in the past or wouldn’t continue to do so. I’m just pickier, I guess,” he said, giving you a soft smile. “I’m very much interested in sleeping with you.”

“Why?” You asked, eyes big with confusion.

Jungkook came closer, starting to back your body up against his wall. “Well, physically you’re my type. And, you’re a little awkward so it’s fun to tease you. Also, I saw a peek of your bra when you bent over to take your shoes off and I almost fucking busted,” he said. “Your tits are incredible…”

You flushed at the blatant flirting.

“I can take my shirt off and show you more,” you offered, hands already on the hem of your shirt.

“Mm, maybe in a minute. Let me kiss you first,” he offered, coming closer. You instinctually tensed up, eyes shutting tight as you tried to keep your breathing level. You waited for a moment for his lips to touch yours but they never did.

All you heard was a soft chuckle. “You look like you ate a lemon, do you not want to kiss me?”

Your eyes popped open before giving him a frown. “I do, I’ve never kissed anyone though... I don’t know what to do.”

Jungkook’s brows raised. “Wow, never been kissed either huh?”

“No, I didn’t want to be distracted,” you said quietly. “But... But now I want the distraction, so, please kiss me?”

He didn’t need any more encouragement as he leaned in and brought your lips together. You didn’t know what to do so you just let him press against you for the moment, until he was pulling back and looking at you with soft eyes. “You need to breathe, Y/N,” he said.

With a woosh of air you realized you’d been holding your breath since he leaned in. Your head went spinny and Jungkook held you by your waist to keep you up, even though there really wasn’t any danger of you falling. “Easy pretty,” he cooed while making your heart race almost painfully. “Want me to kiss you more? I’ll show you how to do it,” he whispered softly against your pouting lips.

You followed the rhythm of his mouth, gently pushing when he pulled and vice versa. It wasn’t rocket science, but there was a definite pattern you had to work hard at mastering. But, finally, Jungkook pulled back with a lazy smile.

“Hey, that one was pretty good. Can you do it again?” he asked, moving in to crowd your space again.

With light hands you wrapped them around his neck. Jungkook placed his hands on the small of your back now, pressing the two of you together tighter than before. A soft gasp fell from your lips as you grabbed his shoulders.

Jungkook chuckled before ducking his head into your neck and placing soft kisses along your collarbone and shoulders.

More comfortable with the proceedings than before, you moved to allow him space to move his mouth. Jungkook sighed against you, licking his lips as he pulled back. You looked into his eyes and swallowed the lump that threatened to form in your throat.

“Let’s go to my room,” he said, eagerly moving you throughout the apartment.

Rather quickly you were moved into a tidy space that had you-admittedly-surprised.

“Oh, it’s really nice in here,” you said, looking around before Jungkook was moving into your space once more.

“Thank you, I’m thinking of redecorating,” he said, holding your waist.

“But it’s nice-”

“I’m gonna throw this shirt over there, your bra over there and your panties on the lamp,” he winked, making your heart thud dangerous in your chest.

“Wouldn’t that start a fire?”

“Not if you’re wet enough,” he smirked.

God damn, who knew fuck boys could talk like this??

You sent a prayer out to whatever deity would be listening. God? The President? An Alexa for fucksake? Anything that would keep your heart from absolutely obliterating your rib cage as this man teased you and played with your body.

However, you noticed the distinct lack of stress from your tests and exams and damned assignments. Your mind was fully occupied with Jungkook and his kisses and wandering hands.

How could you worry about those pesky responsibilities if this man killed you from lust?

Jungkook was laying you on his bed as he groped your chest with one hand while the other held him over your body. Next, his lips. They were tangled with yours, which were finally comfortable within the pattern and changes he was executing. You were a quick learner, and this was proving to be no different.

Thank fuck.

“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked, hands running under the hem of your thin shirt. His hands caressed your skin, making your body jolt at the newfound sensations. With hot cheeks you nodded, letting him peel the garment from you with ease as he tossed it away.

Redecorating indeed.

Jungkook gaped at your breasts sitting in your bra. Well, rather being suffocated by it at this point. His eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of your tits. He kissed the top of your cleavage, leaving gentle nips and sucks along the flesh causing shivers to roll down your spine in lust.

You leaned up briefly to unclip your bra, letting the straps drop from your shoulders and down to your elbows. Jungkook eagerly moved and helped you toss the piece away from your body.

“The color was pretty, but holy shit your tits are amazing,” he breathed, kissing your throat and neck. “Can I suck on them?”

You nodded quickly, giving him the green light which he accepted gratefully.

“Jungkook!” you gasped as he sucked a hot hickey into the bottom of your breast.

He smiled and looked at you. “Yes baby? What’s the matter?”

“That scared me,” you said, pushing his shoulder in annoyance. But honestly you were just being fussy at the embarrassment his touch was bringing you. You’d never felt this out of your depth. Not knowing stuff made you nervous, and your body didn’t understand half of what was going on. Jungkook didn’t seem annoyed, however, at your attitude. His eyes just got softer as he leaned in.

“Did it really scare you? Or are you embarrassed? Cause it’s normal, don’t be embarrassed baby, your tits are so pretty... They almost don’t fit in my palms,” he said, cupping your chest and palming one to prove his point. “So sexy...”

“F-Feels good,” you huffed softly,

He hummed, squeezing your breast and rubbing his thumb across your nipple teasingly. “You’re so sexy, baby,” he teased. He leaned down and captured your other nipple between his lips and lathed his tongue across it.

“Oh~” you mewled out. “Jungkook...”

“Y/N, you’re gonna make me bust in my pants if you say my name like that...”

“Just like it,” you mumbled, lips pouting as you squeezed your eyes shut at the pleasurable sensations running through your body.

“I know you do honey,” he purred, kissing your cleavage and across your tender chest. Sucking and nipping along the way, he found your nipple again and gently pulled it into his mouth, teasing it to a peak with his tongue. His thumb rolled across your other one, pinching it and tugging the flesh to bud just as the one in his mouth.

“F-Fuck...” you stammered, struggling to keep your mind functioning. It was difficult when almost all of these sensations were new. His lips kissing and touching along your lips and skin, his hand rough but tender on your flesh, his voice speaking hot and arousing words into your ears. It was a marvel you hadn’t combusted yet.

“J-Jungkook,” you whispered, making his head perk up at your breathless call.

“Yeah?” he asked, eyes matching yours as he panted. His lips were glossy from his spit that was also covering your chest.

“Don’t stop, please,” you said, voice weak and whiny.

You’d never heard yourself make noises like this. Other than when masturbating. And honestly, that usually had to be a silent affair. Burying your pleasure in your hand as you came. But you didn’t have to be quiet now, and Jungkook seemed hell bent on ensuring you were everything but.

“Fuck, I won’t,” he breathed. “Unless you tell me to stop I won’t.”

As bare minimum as that statement was, it still made you feel more comfortable around him. The words he spoke were genuine, he wasn’t going to force you.

“Take your shirt off,” you said, tugging on the bottom of it.

Jungkook smirked as he sat up from you, pulling his top up and off of his frame. He tossed it to join yours, wherever it had landed. They were long forgotten and gladly so at this point. He leaned over you once more, showing off his tattoos that had your mouth watering in surprise. You knew he had them, but to see them up close like this was something else entirely. Jungkook was fucking hot, and the further you went the more you realized this was going to be the perfect remedy for your annoying study slump.

“Like it baby?” he asked, running his thumb across your bottom lip to tease the swelling flesh with a teasing glance.

“Yes,” you breathed. “I like it a lot...”

He smiled, bringing his lips to yours once more. “Can I touch your pussy? Wanna feel you...”

“B-Be gentle,” you stuttered, despite your best efforts.

“Of course, Y/N,” he said, running his hand underneath your skirt and touching your wetness with a soft breath. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby... little pussy is waiting for me huh?”

“I-I,” you whispered, a gasp leaving your lips at his thumb pressing against your clit softly. His breath fanned across your face softly, his eyes looking at your expression with intensity.

“You need to tell me if something hurts, okay? It shouldn’t be unbearable and it won’t hurt for too long, if it does let me know,” he said, running a finger down to your entrance and teasing your hole gingerly. “Gonna be snug for me, yeah?” he asked, hooking his fingers into your panties and tugging them off your legs.

“Yes,” you breathed, answering both of his questions with that single word. Jungkook’s eyes leveled with yours for a moment before pushing his finger inside you. You squeaked softly, heart hammering in your chest as your pussy swallowed his finger greedily. He captured your lips in a kiss that was entirely too consuming for you to think of anything other than his presence above you and inside of you.

He didn’t even stick his cock inside you yet but it was still wholly overwhelming. Is this what it felt like to be feminine? Your whole life you hadn’t really given a shit about you. All you cared about was your passion and your drive but ultimately... you had gotten lost in the sea of success. Leaving yourself as collateral.

Jungkook was awakening things inside of you, things you weren’t certain you were ready to deal with but... But perhaps it didn’t matter right now.

All that mattered right now was the sensations he was pulling from your body. Because shit... he felt so so fucking good.

“J-Jungkook,” you whined out, hands reaching for his arms.

He shushed you, pushing another finger inside you as his thumb continued to pet your clit. “It feels like a lot, doesn’t it baby?”

You nodded your head, holding his bicep with one hand while you bit your knuckle on the other.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?” he said, looking into your eyes.

“No, j-ust a lot, like you said,” you breathed, trying to keep yourself even moderately in check. But honestly? The longer you stayed with Jungkook, the less you felt the necessity to hide and be shy. He didn’t seem to be expecting anything, he knew of your lacking experience but didn’t seem dissuaded by it.

“Then you lay there and take what I give you like a good girl,” he said, kissing your jaw as he started to pump his hand inside your pulsing core slowly.

You wish you could cringe at that basic fuckboy response, but the rasp in his voice and the bob of his throat as he felt your walls clench around his fingers at his words made you unable to snark at him. Because even if it was basic, it was turning you on.

“O-Okay,” you whimpered, turning your head to connect your lips with his.

“Jesus,” he breathed, kissing you back eagerly. “You pick up quick,” he said with a soft smile. “Now kiss me like you mean it.”

You did as he said, holding his face between your hands as you kissed him messily. Jungkook kept pumping your pussy to create the desperate ache in your lower stomach and cunt. He adjusted your kiss and lips every so often, detaching from your tempting mouth to kiss at your neck and shoulder as he worked your body over.

Finally, you could hardly take it. “J-Jungkook,” you whispered. “I-I’m gonna cum, please-”

He nodded. “I’ll get you there baby, need you nice and wet when I fuck you,” he sighed, finding your tells quickly. “Cream my fingers, Y/N, want to see you do it.”

With his words ringing in your ears you cried out your release, cumming hard on his fingers just as he wanted. Your hips and thighs trembled as he rubbed your pussy walls to coax your climax through you.

“Good girl, easy baby, did so good for me,” he whispered against your chest. “Breathe, Y/N, it’s alright.”

You didn’t realize you were still shaking. You’d never felt like that before. Heart stammering just as much as the rest of your blissed out body.

“Holy shit,” you said, voice weak and thin from panting and whining.

“Made a mess babe,” he teased, eyes sparkling with desire and lust for you. He put his fingers in his mouth for a moment before looking at your core with a hungry gaze. “Can I have a taste, Y/N? I’ll be gentle...” he murmured, leaning down and kissing your lower stomach as if to hold himself back. Carefully, he slid the stockings down and off of your legs, sending you a teasing wink-as if thanking you for the sexy attire.

“Y-Yeah, you can for a bit but... but I want you to fuck me,” you said.

Jungkook chuckled before kissing your sensitive pussy with tender lips. “Believe me, if you manage to walk out of here I will count it as a failure.”

You rolled your eyes but there wasn’t any genuine irritation. His voice was coated in sarcasm and gentle teasing, making you relax even further into his embrace.

“Tug on my hair,” he said. “Want you to tug on my hair while I eat your pussy...” he husked, leading your hand to his silky locks.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you breathed, watching his head move closer to your core.

“I hope you do,” he winked before diving in.

A sharp gasp came from your throat without you even thinking about it. The reaction was utterly instinctual as Jungkook brought his tongue to your clit, rolling around it-careful of your sensitivity. He moaned against your core, as if your flavor was enough to turn him on.

Jungkook was licking and sucking loudly. It seemed so messy and utterly vulgar but you couldn’t help but watch with morbid fascination as your core leaked more and more wetness at Jungkook’s actions.

“Yes baby, give it to me,” he groaned against your core. “Fucking wet little cunt,” he growled.

“Jungkook!” you whined, hand finally gripping on the strands of his hair.

He huffed hotly against your thigh as he kissed and sucked hickies into the supple flesh. “Fuck-fuck! Your pussy tastes so good,” he seemed almost shocked. “Fucking best pussy...”

You almost questioned his statements-but he didn’t give you the opportunity, moving his mouth over your core once more. You pulled on his hair, feeling the overwhelming sensations of pleasure consuming your mind and body as he worked his tongue over your clit and throbbing core.

“M-mmm! Jungkook, Jungkook please~” you cried. “I’m so close!”

He could tell. Your core was throbbing again and you were no doubt worked up from the sensitivity of your first orgasm. His cock was fucking aching at the mere thought of getting to be inside your soaked cunt.

“Give me one more minute,” he said, capturing your clit in his mouth and sucking.

“Jungkook!” you sobbed. “I-I can’t, I’m gonna-please!” you cried desperately.

With a gentle nod he kept up his pace on your clit as his fingers plunged back inside your hole.

“Cum baby, cum and then I’ll fuck you. Gonna fuck this pussy so good, gonna make you cream my cock next,” he snarled, licking the filthy slick that covered your cunt with eager lips.

“I-I’m gonna-mm-haa~” you squealed as you came again, body heaving from the pleasure that this man ripped from your body once again.

“Easy baby,” he purred. “Feels good doesn’t it? Like my mouth on your pussy like that?” he asked, raising a brow as he licked the remnants of your orgasm from his lips and fingers.

“J-Jesus,” you hiccuped, eyes slightly teary from the intensity of the pleasure you’d received.

“Not quite baby, but I appreciate the compliment,” he said, voice breathless as he kissed you.

You registered the flavor of his kiss but there was your own mixed in and it made your stomach feel funny at the different kinds of sensations filling your body. “Jungkook,” you breathed against his mouth. “I-I’m ready now,” you panted. “Please... Please fuck me now.”

Jungkook swore against your neck before pulling his pants off and grabbing a condom from his bedside table. He tugged his boxers down and off releasing his cock and jesus fucking christ-

He was big.

It was so much different than seeing a dick in a porn video. It always seems common and typical in those scenes but in real life? In front of you like this?

It was a little intimidating to be honest.

Jungkook crawled back into bed with you, spreading your legs. “You sure you want to do this?” he asked, eyes boring into yours for the answer to his question.

“Y-Yeah, just... Nervous,” you said, biting your lip.

“We don’t have to,” he said.

“I want to,” you answered quickly, realizing it was the truth. You did really want to do this. Not only to get it over with, but because maybe you were having a good time with him. You felt like someone was seeing you. Not just your cold exterior and study centric front.

The you that had always been there but just didn’t get the opportunity to be seen.

What an odd time to have a revelation such as this.

“Okay, deep breath,” he said.

You did as he said and jolted when his cock rubbed against your core, the cold sensation surprising you. “I put some lube on, it might be a little cold, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Look at me, tell me if it hurts too much okay? Shouldn’t be too bad.”

With a soft nod Jungkook pushed forward, burying his cock halfway inside you in an easy thrust.

“Ah!” you squeaked out, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Don’t tense up, try to relax,” he said, kissing your neck and jaw.

He was right. It wasn’t excruciating pain, but it was certainly uncomfortable, and it felt so much bigger than you thought.

“F-Feels like a lot,” you whispered, voice whiny and high.

“I know baby, just breathe. Doing so good,” he praised, making the glide of his cock inside you that much easier. Jungkook touched his forehead to your temple, easing himself the rest of the way in. His hand held tight to your thigh, soft pants hitting your neck.

“Jungkook,” you whispered.

“You good?” he asked, pulling back just a touch to look at you.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Like I said... just a lot.”

He nodded, moving forward just a touch to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed back, mouth now finding a pleasant rhythm with his.

“Fuck,” he whispered, pulling away from your lips for just a moment. “Can I move? I need to fuck you before I fucking bust from how tight you are,” he moaned.

You clenched at the sound of his desperation, which caused him to rut forward into you. “Kook!” you squeaked the shortened version of his name at the sudden jutting of his hips which he quickly apologized for.

“S-Sorry, you squeezed me so fucking tight-I’m already so fucking hard.”

His words weren’t entirely making sense to you either, your mind was pretty occupied with his body more than his speaking.

It was so odd to share your body with another person. He was legitimately inside of you. How did that make any sense? But it felt so good. You hadn’t expected that part. You thought he’d touch you and you’d cum once, if you were lucky. However, you shouldn’t have doubted the prowess of the one Jeon Jungkook. Campus Fuckboy extraordinaire.

“-can I?” his voice cut in through your cock drunk thoughts.

“What?” you asked.

“Can I move now? Please? I need to fuck you now,” his breaths were short and stilted, like he was fighting to hold back the primal urge of fucking you into his mattress.

You nodded. “J-Just be careful,” you said, voice thick with want.

“Yes baby, whatever you want,” he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Your heart was the thing that twinged after hearing those words.

Surprisingly enough. This fuckboy was more interesting than you originally believed.

His hips meeting yours in a seamless glide had a shocked moan fall from your lips. “J-Jungkook-”

“Kook,” he said above you. “I liked that one,” he panted, giving you a dopey smile. “You can call me Kook. I like when you say it, fuck,” he said, brows furrowing in pleasure. “Fuck you feel so fucking good.”

You briefly wondered if fuck was the only cuss word he knew. But you chided yourself, because honestly you didn’t even think you could speak currently.

He gave steady thrusts inside your center, making you mewl in surprise at the burning pleasure it created in your tummy.

“Kook,” you breathed, mind whirling in shocks of pleasure.

“Yeah baby, I’m right here,” he said, voice sweet as sugar. “Fucking you so good baby, do you like my dick? Like when I fuck you?”

“Yes! Yes I do!” you cried, hands wrapping around his neck.

Jungkook lifted your upper body, pulling you into his lap as he kneeled on his bed. You were sitting on his lap with his cock deep inside your snug walls. You held onto him as he adjusted your legs slightly so your hips wouldn’t ache so bad.

“There baby, hang onto me, yeah? Let me fuck you like this,” he whispered, kissing your chin as he started to roll his hips up against yours. “Move back against me Y/N,” he encouraged, guiding you by your waist, grinding your ass in the cup of his pelvis. “Just like that...”

He moaned against your chest, his hand creeping down to your ass to pull you closer. As if you two were melded together enough.

“Fuck, Jungkook-feels, so big,” you whined, arms winding around his neck as you dropped your ass on your own, Jungkook’s hands guiding you.

“Yeah baby, ride my cock... feels so fucking tight inside you, best pussy right here... Where’ve you been all my life, fucking shit,” he growled, pulling you in for a messy kiss.

You were too scrambled by the feeling of sex that you didn’t quite capture the meaning of his words. Maybe that was for the best.

Jungkook’s mind was reeling. It had been a while since he’d had sex with a virgin, but he never remembers it being this intense. But shit, you squeezed him just right, making his mind stutter while you whimpered softly from his cock rolling into you deftly. It was everything he could do not to blow his load.

“F-Fuck, baby, ‘m gonna cum,” he panted. “Pussy too tight on my cock, fuck...”

“Okay-I... I’m getting close too,” you moaned.

Jungkook reached between the two of you to gently massage your clit with the pad of his thumb. “Feels good baby? Cum for me, I wanna see you do it again.”

You whined and cried at his thumb on your sensitive clit, but it was slowly pushing you to your end.

“Kook! Jungkook!” you sobbed, gripping his shoulders and upper back desperately. “Fuck!”

“Make me cum baby, come on,” he growled, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He dropped you on your back, following you shortly and slipping inside your twitching pussy.

“Yes, wanna make you cum,” you mewled. “Cum Jungkook, please,” you said.

He held you tightly, rubbing quick circles on your clit to finally push you to your third orgasm of the night.

Shockingly, he did it, making you gasp and shriek his name. He felt how tight your walls became during your orgasm and he gladly followed you in pleasure.

“Fuck yes, yes baby make me cum, holy shit-Y/N,” he groaned, jutting his hips into your sloppily. With a pleasured cry, Jungkook emptied himself into the condom.

You two didn’t know how long the aftershocks of your orgasms lasted, but you were certain it was close to five minutes before anyone spoke.

“You okay?” his voice rasped, making you turn your head with a soft expression on your face. Jungkook felt his chest stammer at the bleary but pleased look in your eyes.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I’m okay.”

He nodded. “Sit there, I’m gonna go get us some water and help you clean up.”

Jungkook gave you a soft smile before moving away and tossing the used condom in his garbage and heading into the bathroom. Your heart was thudding hard in your chest.

You did it.

You’d had sex.

And it was the furthest thing from terrible you think you’ve ever experienced. Was all sex like this? Or was it the sex with Jungkook that happened to be incredible. You can see what all the other girls he’d slept with were talking about. He literally made your legs turn to jelly.

“Here’s some water, sit up?” he asked, moving in to sit next to you.

You flushed at the fact you both were still naked. “Thanks,” you whispered, voice much hoarser than you’d anticipated. With eager sips you drank the water, handing him the cup when you were finished. He pushed you on your back gently and moved between your legs.

With the remaining shame you had you squeaked and grabbed his wrists for a second. He looked at you, startled. “What?”

“Sorry,” you murmured. “Caught me off guard, I just expected you to have me take care of it.”

“Nah, I got it, you probably can’t walk yet either,” he mentioned before cleaning up the mess between your thighs. You shivered at the sensations but shortly Jungkook was tossing the dirty washcloth into his laundry and laying on the bed with you for a moment.

He breathed in deeply, like he had just eaten a great meal and was digesting.

“Do I have a chance to fuck you on the regular?” he asked, turning to look at you.

“What?” you asked, snapping your head to the side to look at him with shock written across your features.

Jungkook gave you a handsome smile. “If not I apologize for saying it so bluntly, but I liked having sex with you, I want to do it again. Or, you, respectively.”

You couldn’t quite believe him still. But, you couldn’t help the twinge of interest in your stomach. He was attractive, and he was offering you stress relief realistically whenever you both wanted it.

“I-I guess? I mean, what does that make us? Friends with benefits? Booty call buddies?” You wondered out loud.

Jungkook chuckled softly. “Whatever you want, I guess,” he stated.

You looked at him with a raised brow but he just gave you another attractive but cryptic smile-hiding his true emotions with the alluring smirk.

“Something tells me you don’t mean that,” you sighed. “But, I guess you text me, or I’ll text you. Whenever,” you said, moving to grab your things.

Jungkook sat down on the bed, having pulled on his boxers while watching your frame collect your clothes and start pulling them on. You sat down next to him in silence, tugging your stockings back up your legs and covering your skin that had Jungkook frowning.

“What?” You asked, turning to him.

He quickly snapped out of it, looking at you with a mock pained expression. “You could make a grown man cry baby,” he said.

“You’re going to make me cry with those lines,” you said with a sour face.

“Feisty,” he said with a teasing grin.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the heat that settled in your face. You’d never really been flirted with or anything of that matter, so to have him so blatantly made your heart stammer and squeeze in ways you weren’t necessarily prepared for.

Jungkook watched you grab your things, bending to grab your things from the floor and flashing your panty covered ass to him. He sighed, fighting the urge to take you again right now. Plus, you had no clue you were presenting so nicely to him-

“Quit staring at my ass,” you said with an unamused expression.

Jungkook laughed a bit before leaning back on his hands. “You’re so different when you’re not having sex.”

“You’re more annoying,” you said with a blank expression. The front was back and Jungkook found it odd how quick you went back. He wondered if you’re truly this way or if you merely didn’t know any other facets of your personality.

Something fun to discover...

“Did you want a ride back?” he offered, in lieu of a response to your sour attitude.

With a flushed expression you bit your lip.

“Yes please.”

Jungkook smiled. “Let me get dressed.”

--

Jungkook was waiting for his phone to ring. To ding. To alert him of anything in regards to you. The little virgin that had him wrapped around your finger so tightly. And you hardly knew it.

The two of you had been texting here and there, and had sex twice since the first time. And Jungkook could be honest with himself.

You were his favorite person to have sex with.

Hands down, no cap, your pussy was top notch and-and there was something about you specifically that he couldn’t put his finger on. He liked making you flustered and listening to you talk about your classes after the two of you were done fucking. You were curious about so many things, and there was a lot running through your mind at all hours of the day.

And, as much as you wanted to give off the cold bitch exterior, Jungkook knew you were kind at heart.

Because you’d been feeding a stray cat outside your dorm building for the past two weeks and he was certain if you could you would’ve brought it inside already. The weather was getting colder and you were no doubt worried that the poor thing wasn’t going to make it through the harsh weather.

“She’s so cute, Jungkook! You should come by and meet her sometime,” you said one afternoon as the two of you sat in the library while you studied.

“I don’t like cats,” Jungkook commented offhandedly.

“I don’t like you,” you snarked, and Jungkook rolled his eyes at your snotty remark. Even though he knew it wasn’t true. If you didn’t like him Jungkook had an odd feeling you’d make yourself scarce after the interactions you’ve had.

“You like my dick though,” he huffed.

You squeaked out in embarrassment and smacked his shoulder. “Shh! Don’t say stuff like that!” you huffed.

“It’s true, why deny it baby?” he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.

“God sometimes I wanna break your nose,” you sighed, turning back to your papers and looking down.

Jungkook watched your mind work, solving the problems on your paper like it was nothing. He was always impressed by your knowledge and ability to learn new things so quickly, he found that he could easily be jealous if he let himself.

But honestly, jealousy didn’t look good on him and there wasn’t much he was envious of in this world. He had a good face, good body and decent enough grades. If anything he could be a bit of a pain in the ass but the other things made up for the latter.

He didn’t say these things to be arrogant or anything, they were merely truths. People treated him differently because of these things and he wasn’t going to say otherwise. But you? You treated him just like Namjoon and Hoseok, except you let him fuck you every so often.

Speaking of...

“Hey, wanna go back to my place?” he asked, resting on his elbow.

“Why? I’m busy studying,” you said without looking up.

“I wanna fuck you,” he said, shrugging.

You sighed deeply. “I swear to God Jungkook-”

“Is that a no?” he asked, making sure he wasn’t pushing any boundaries that he shouldn’t. Honestly he hadn’t fucked anyone as consistently as he had you in the past four years of college. And he couldn’t find himself hating it either.

Jungkook had only had one serious girlfriend and that was back in highschool and honestly, he didn’t think they were that committed in the first place. Plus, teenagers hardly know what they want for breakfast, it’s hard to believe they know they’re going to be with someone for the next two weeks, let alone for the rest of their lives.

But, Jungkook was twenty five, and he was starting to think that the two of you could possibly...

Well. That might be a conversation for another time.

“Come on,” you said, standing and putting your stuff in your backpack.

“Yeah?” Jungkook said, a smile forming on his features at the thought of having you in his bed all over again.

“Yeah, I want you, let's go,” you said, not wasting any time and taking his hand.

The librarian, Seokjin, looked at Jungkook being dragged out of the library and then looked to Namjoon who was helping another student but was also shocked at the proceedings.

“Know anything about that king of the nerds?” Seokjin asked him.

“That subject is one I don’t care to study,” Namjoon said.

“Well that’s lame,” Seokjin huffed before turning back to his phone. “You kids wear my ass out.”

--

You and Yeji were hanging out in your dorm again after you fed Eden.

The orange little tabby had been coming around more frequently and it made your heart sing with joy. You’d never had a pet back home and the fact that you’d befriended such a cute little creature made your day.

Also showing Jungkook pictures and trying to sway him had turned into a new favorite pastime as well.

“Who are you texting?” Yeji asked as she came out of your bathroom, sitting on your bed with you.

“Just Jungkook,” you said, tossing your phone to the side.

“You two seem to be getting along well, huh?” she asked, raising a brow at you with a smile.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s nothing serious Yeji, just sex with some hanging out in between.”

She looked at you with an examining gaze. “He’s just having sex with you, right?” she asked for confirmation.

“I don’t know, I think so. I’m on birth control and we always use condoms so I’m not too worried about it. What, do you think I should get tested or something?” you asked.

“No, no Y/N, nothing like that I meant more of... If you two are just fucking and hanging out sometimes then, are you possibly considering dating him?” she asked.

“Huh? No, why would I date him?” you asked, feeling a trickle of uncertainty trail down your spine. Did it seem like you were interested? It’s not like you didn’t think he was attractive or anything it’s... you didn’t need any more distractions! The sex was enough of a distraction, you didn’t need anything else from him...right?

Yeji held her hands up. “It was just a question, Y/N, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve but... If there was one to hit, maybe ask yourself why?”

Because he’s not what I thought he was...

He’s nice.

He’s funny.

I like him a little more than I think I should-

“No nerve struck, Yeji,” you shrugged. “Just not interested in dating right now.” You tried your best to remain nonchalant but Yeji could tell. There was definitely a nerve she’d struck, and she thinks she knows exactly the one as well.

But, you can lead a horse to water. You can’t make it drink. Even if it’s on the brink of death. The horse must make that decision for itself.

--

When Jungkook received a call at two am from you crying he was stunned to say the least. He’d fallen asleep after studying late for his finals when he heard his phone ringing. A small smile made its way to his face when he saw your name and icon pop up.

Y/N 🐱🔥

“It’s two am baby, you need help going to sleep Y/N-”

“Kook please, she needs help!”

“Y/N? Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, sitting up in bed at the sound of your distressed voice.

“Eden-she’s sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with her... She showed up outside the dorm and laid down and now she is panting hard and-I’m scared, I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t bring her in, the RA would kick my ass-”

“I’ll be there, we’ll take her to the vet, okay? We’ll make sure your kitten’s okay,” he promised. “Wait with her and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Jungkook showed up in ten minutes, and there you stood with the small orange tabby in your arms with tears in your eyes. He put the car in park and jumped out to approach you and the cat.

“Hey, Y/N-baby, don’t cry...” he whispered, trying to keep his voice down. This was the first time he’d seen you this physically upset.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, she’s so sick and I-I don’t know what happened,” you cried.

“Shh, baby,” he cooed, pulling you into a gentle hug. “I have a friend who’s a vet tech, want me to give him a call?” Yoongi would be pissed he called at fuck o’clock in the morning but he’d help when he knew what was happening.

Yoongi could be an asshole but he loved animals.

“Please,” you sniffled.

“Come sit in the car, it’s getting cold,” he said.

A phone call, a very angry Yoongi and several more tears on your end-you and Eden were finally sleeping in the clinic Yoongi worked for. You were passed out in the chair next to Eden’s temporary kennel.

“Once she poops and I can run that sample you can take her home,” Yoongi said. “The on-call vet said she should be okay, just too cold outside for her right now. Seems like she's sensitive to the cold.”

Jungkook sighed and nodded his head. “Yeah, whatever she needs I’ll take care of it.”

Yoongi snickered at him which caused Jungkook to turn a very sharp glare in his direction, to which Yoongi flicked his forehead.

“Don’t be a little bitch,” the older man warned him. “She’s cute, your girlfriend? Prospective girlfriend?” he asked, nodding towards your direction. “Settling down Mr. Campus fuckboy?” He said some brutal things but most people who knew him understood it was just his style of communicating. But Jungkook sighed heavily and Yoongi seemed to understand that this was different. You were different to him.

Jungkook and looked back at you. “She’d never date me,” he said with a soft smile. “I’m just a good fuck to her.”

Yoongi tilted his head in confusion. “Odd, that’s usually the reversed position.”

“I like switching positions,” Jungkook said, with no humor in his voice.

The older man came over and really looked at Jungkook. “You really like her?”

“Something like that,” Jungkook shrugged, turning back to look at you sleeping in the chair. “Whatever she needs, I’ll pay for it.”

“The cat or her?”

Jungkook didn’t answer, he didn’t need to.

—

You brought Eden home the next morning, a smile on your face as you cuddled the warm ball of fur.

Well, you brought her to Jungkook’s home. You weren’t going to be able to keep her in the dorms so Jungkook’s apartment was going to have to work in the meantime.

He didn’t pitch a fit like you had presumed he would, he was surprisingly understanding and welcoming of the little kitten that had stolen your heart.

Jungkook had bought some stuff from the clinic and Yoongi gave over some supplies they weren’t going to be using for her as well. Even getting her a small baby blue collar with a bell on it to hold her tags.

“I’ll come over to help whenever you want,” you said, turning to drop the kitten on the floor to wander about.

She sniffed around until she flopped on the plush rug and seemed to preen happily. You swooned at her adorable paws and fluffy tail, you’d never been allowed pets at home, so to have one (kinda) now was so meaningful.

Jungkook watched you, his heart sitting heavy in his ribs. He was confused, he was tired. And honestly all he wanted was to lay down. But when you turned to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips he couldn’t help but kiss back eagerly.

“Thank you,” you breathed against his lips. “Thank you for helping her, for helping me.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, capturing your lips again. He really liked kissing you, finding himself leading you to his couch with his hands wrapping around your waist to grab at the small of your back.

You both tumbled onto the cushions with a heavy sigh, Jungkook kissing and sucking on your neck and collarbones. “Fuck baby,” he breathed, feeling the excitement of having you coursing through his veins.

“K-Kook,” you whined softly, willing to spend the morning fooling around with him. Especially after he helped you and Eden so much. He didn’t even tell you how much it was to give her the emergency treatment.

He promised Yoongi gave him a good deal, but that didn’t mean it was inexpensive.

Yeji’s words lingered in the back of your head but you tried desperately not to think about it too much. Because all you cared about was Jungkook’s hands roaming your body, his sweet lips kissing down your neck and to your chest.

You spent the morning tangled together, the cute purrs of a very sleepy, but content kitten in the background.

--

“You’re leading him on, Y/N,” Yeji said with a soft sigh.

“I am not! He’s not interested in dating me, Yeji, he’s the campus fuckboy-”

“When was the last time you heard him sleeping with someone other than you? When was the last time he was spotted at a party? Y/N, he’s spending all his extra time with you. You and that damned cat.”

Jungkook and you had been spending more and more time together recently. And most of it wasn’t spent fucking. It was hanging out, watching movies, playing with the cat or going out to eat.

“We can be friends that fuck around sometimes,” you twiddled your thumbs.

Yeji sighed and looked down at her papers. “He seems nice, and he likes you, if you don’t want to date him then be honest with him.”

“You were the one who told me to fuck him in the first place!” You lamented.

“Your poor decisions aren’t my fault, neither are your good ones. If you want to have a skewed moral compass that’s fine. But I’m telling you now, don’t lead a guy like him on.”

“A guy like him?” You questioned.

“One that cares about you.”

—

Fridays were your happy days. You didn’t have any classes and the weekend could be spent doing nothing but your homework, which was minimal, and lazing around with Jungkook and Eden.

The two of you had kinda dubbed Friday’s your days.

You two were watching another movie on the couch, eyes watching the screen. Jungkook was resting back in the cushions, brown orbs fluttering as he struggled to keep them open.

He’d been working extra shifts at the bar, something you hadn’t really noticed. A few projects had been due so you were more focused on getting those done than hanging around with people.

Yeji had whined to you so you decided to hang out with her for the evening the other night.

Jungkook texted you this morning asking if you were busy and wanted to chill. You anticipated a little more than watching a movie but you didn’t want to be pushy, especially since he was so tired.

“Baby,” he called.

He’d started calling you the term of endearment a while back and you hadn’t corrected him, just letting him do whatever he wanted. It was easier than listening to him complain. It also caused flutters to rise in your chest that you promptly ignored each and every time.

“Yeah?” You asked, looking at him.

“What are we?”

The words hung in the air, shocking you entirely.

What could you say to that? Did you... Did you tell him?

No, you couldn’t there wasn’t anything for you to say to him-so in a panic you let out a puff of laughter. Although, Jungkook didn’t share your humor in this situation. And you knew this was going to take a turn for the worse.

“I’m serious, Y/N,” he stated.

“No you’re not Jungkook,” you played it off, the dangerous thudding in your chest making you feel almost sick.

“Y/N,” he said, voice firmer as he sat up and looked at you. “I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks, but you keep either deflecting me or telling me ‘now isn’t a good time’, when is it gonna be a good time to talk about us?” He asked, eyes glimmering.

“Y-You fuck around with people Jungkook, I’m not interested in dating a fuck boy,” you stammered.

Fuck!

Jungkook’s eyes dimmed.

“Is that all you think of me? Really, Y/N?” He asked. “After everything we’ve done? After everything I...”

He wouldn’t look at you for a moment. Or he couldn’t bring himself to do so. You swallowed thickly and watched as Eden trotted into the room. Jungkook looked to the cat and then to you before letting a defeated chuckle out of his lips.

“Who knew you’d be the one breaking my heart, baby,” he whispered.

Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at him. “J-Jungkook,” you said, trying to get a grip on your spiraling thoughts.

“I think you should go,” he said, still not lifting his gaze to yours. You watched as a few drops hit the couch.

Was he…

“Jungkook-”

“Please Y/N? I really can’t hold out long,” he pleaded, voice thick with emotion.

You scrambled to stand up and head to the door. Eden followed after you and you were about to pick her up when Jungkook called. “I’ll still watch her… I have her papers,” he said, voice hoarse like he was keeping his cries back.

“Okay… Goodbye Jungkook,” you said, walking out of his apartment, mind reeling. So much so you didn’t hear him whisper your name in grief.

“Goodbye baby…”

So much for Fridays being your happy days…

You wandered aimlessly for a while. How much time had passed? An hour? Two? Twenty minutes? You really couldn’t be certain, but you found yourself back at your dorm. You walked in and felt wetness on your face.

You were… crying?

No… You were sobbing. Your chest ached, heart pounding in your head. Why were you crying so hard? Did-Did Jungkook really mean that much to you? Or was it because you weren’t going to see Eden again? Even that thought made a sour face appear, because you couldn’t keep lying to yourself.

Because look where it got you.

Alone, all over again.

You crawled into bed and looked at your phone with watery eyes. No messages. Jungkook had been texting you goodnight recently, and asking if you’d eaten.

There was nothing.

No messages, no calls. And you felt like an idiot for expecting one, for even humoring the thought of Jungkook being okay after what you did. You did exactly what Yeji said you shouldn’t. You played with him. You wanted the relationship without the hard parts. Without the uncomfortable topics of feelings and eventual arguments and fights. And that isn’t fair.

Not to Jungkook and not to you either.

But how do you fix it? How do you tell him… that you actually might have feelings for him as well?

Would you even have the opportunity to do that at this point? Some part of you hoped that you would be able to go back to him. To tell him you were sorry.

But there was a bigger part of you that had no idea how to proceed.

—

You were sitting in the library, Namjoon trying for the fiftieth time to try and explain this portion of your assignment to you.

It had been a week and Jungkook still hadn’t reached out to you. You hadn’t even seen him at school. It was as if he didn’t exist. And that was breaking your heart more and more as time passed by.

Jungkook had become more than a booty call, and you had to him as well. And you completely disregarded his emotions and ran away like a scared puppy. You didn’t even try to listen to him, because at that moment-you didn’t care.

You cared more about your comfort than his emotions and his attempt at creating something more between the two of you.

He’d taken your virginity for fuckssake, but you were the one struggling to commit to him.

“Y/N? What’s going on with you this week? You’re really out of it,” Namjoon said.

You swallowed hard and found tears welling up in your eyes. You’d tried to bury your feelings. You tried to forget about it all. You wanted to move on, but you couldn’t. Because ultimately, you were wrong. You shouldn’t have led Jungkook on. And you shouldn’t have ignored his attempts in the past to possibly move your relationship from a casual arrangement to something more exclusive and intimate.

Possibly life changing at the end of the day.

And there was nothing you could do to stop your tears now.

Because you just wanted him back.

“Y/N? Shit, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Namjoon asked, moving closer to support you. “Hey… what’s got you so upset huh?”

“I-I think I like Jungkook,” you cried.

Namjoon reeled back in confusion. “T-The fuckboy?”

“I-I’ve been hanging out with him for months and we’ve fucked around but he saved my cat and I just like talking to him and-and he’s never thought of me as anything other than me… He’s made me feel like a person and not a studying machine… I fucked it up Namjoon,” you sobbed.

The older man was at a loss of what to do for you, you were still in the library and people were starting to look at the pair of you in concern.

“D-Do you want me to call Yeji? Or Hobi? Shit, uh, I c-can call-”

“Y/N!” Yeji’s voice called through the library, walking over as she started to hold you. “Hey, hey,” she cooed. “Come on, let’s get you to your dorm.”

You sniffled helplessly, like a child recovering from a massive meltdown.

“Yeah,” you whispered, gathering your things as you tried to keep your tear stricken face from plain view. People weren’t outright rude to you generally, but you knew that their impression of you was the cold bitch who only knew how to study.

It was the front you’d portrayed for years, until Yeji started to wear it down and Jungkook demolished it completely. Or so you’d hoped. Especially in regards to him.

Unfortunately for both of your hearts, yours wasn’t ready to hear its own call. To hear Jungkook’s.

Yeji managed to get you back to your dorm, and when she shut the door the waterworks started all over again. You clung to the younger girl and sobbed hard.

“Y/N?! Hey! What’s wrong, huh? What’s going on-”

“I fucked up so bad, Yeji!” you sobbed.

Yeji sighed, nodding as she led you to your bed, sitting down with you while brushing your hair away from your face. “What did you say to him, huh?”

“That he didn’t really want a relationship. That I wasn’t interested in dating someone who fucked around,” you cried.

A deeper sigh came from your friend, before a soft chuckle reached your ears. “I didn’t know it would take this much to get you to date him. Or this many tears,” she cooed.

You turned with your watery and puffy face and looked at her. “What do you mean, Yeji?”

She smiled softly. “When you started looking at his pictures you didn’t go for the sexy ones, you looked at all of the soft ones, remember? I knew you weren’t going to be able to resist.”

You looked at her with your watery eyes and she brought you into a tight hug. “I don’t think this is unfixable, Y/N, that man is kinda a big simp for you. You know he hates cats? Or he used to? He saw you with Eden that night and took her in for you, and has been caring for her with you. I think you have a chance to make this right. Just be honest, and apologize.”

You sniffled, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know where to start,” you said, voice wavering with uncertainty.

“‘I’m sorry’ will probably work just fine.”

--

It sounded so easy when Yeji said it last night as she comforted you. But now you stood with Jungkook’s favorite coffee drink and you could feel your hands sweating. And it had nothing to do with the warm drink in your hands. You held another piece of paper in your hand, but you didn’t care as much about that.

At least not anymore.

You were so nervous. More nervous than you had been when you took your entrance exams, more nervous than the finals you just totally flunked. You had retakes coming up because your teachers were just as shocked at your blatant failing as you were. That was part of the project you’d been working on with Namjoon in the library when you had your meltdown the other day.

But honestly, you’d fail them all over again if it meant that Jungkook would forgive you for being such a grade A asshole. Because he didn’t deserve that.

Without any more ceremony, you knocked on the door.

“Coming!” his voice called through the door.

Your heart stammered at the sound. You didn’t realize how much you missed it after a week of not hearing it.

“Yeah-oh... Hi Y/N,” he said, eyes immediately turning distant. You panicked and shoved the coffee towards him.

“I’m failed!”

Jungkook tilted his head, confused at your stammering voice and the drink being pushed towards him. “You... what?” he asked, needing clarification.

You could feel the embarrassment coursing through you. But you’d come too far to quit now, and you needed to apologize at the very least.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you said, looking up at him with your sad expression. “I failed. I failed you first. And in turn, I failed myself and... and us,” you said, the words falling from your lips without much thought. And once they started, they didn’t stop.

“I failed my finals,” you whispered. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was supposed to be studying. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nights on the couch when we would cuddle with Eden and drink coffee. I missed our laundry days, I missed watching movies. I-I missed you. I fucked up, I disregarded your feelings because I wasn’t ready to accept my own... It was wrong of me and I-I’m sorry,” you breathed.

He seemed stunned.

And to be honest, he was. You weren’t known for apologizing for anything. You had this front that Jungkook could see through the moment he’d approached you in the library. At first he thought you were just hot and wanted to fuck, but as you two started to hang out more, and fuck more, he found that he just thought your closeness and tender heart with tsundere exterior was cute.

Now that you’re here, apologizing to his face. He knew how much this must’ve taken, he’d have to thank Yeji for helping you once more. No doubt the time apart had hurt you just as much as it had him. And he was surprised when he didn’t even want to drown his sorrows in another woman, or alcohol. He just looked at the few photos of you in his phone and snuggled that damned cat he was certain would be the death of him.

But, that was all a conversation you two could have later.

Right now, he was interested in the paper in your hand.

“What are you holding?” he asked, in lieu of an answer.

“My final,” you said, looking at him with your beautiful eyes he swore he could get lost in sometimes.

“Why did you bring your final to me?”

“Because I failed. I failed almost all my finals this semester.”

Jungkook was shocked, because you’d said it but he didn’t necessarily expect you to fail that badly. Was it failing in your eyes or in the eyes of actual academia?

“What did you get?” he asked.

“Thirty-seven percent,” you said with a hot face.

Jungkook was stunned now. Because that was failing. No doubt about it. “W-what? Baby that’s awful... I’m sorry-”

“You called me baby,” you whispered. A small smile on your face. “C-Can I come in?”

He sighed and opened the door, letting you inside of his apartment. You moved inside and set his coffee down on the counter before Eden came trotting into the entryway with a very loud meeeooowwww!

“She’s been such a little shit,” he laughed. “I think she missed you, mommy.”

“I missed you,” you said to the cat, a smile on your features as she rubbed against you and meowed happily. She flopped down on her side and you rubbed her face and belly, surprisingly remaining unscathed. When she seemed content and pranced away you stood and turned to Jungkook again. “I missed you too. A lot.”

Jungkook smiled at you. “I missed you too, baby,” he said. “I accept your apology.”

Your heart hammered in your chest, looking at him with a tenderness he didn’t see coming. “I-I want to be with you, Jungkook.”

He came closer, bringing you into his arms, kissing your temple. “Then that’s where you’ll be, baby. With me.”

With that he moved his lips to yours, wrapping his arms around your lower back and squeezing you tight to his body. You sighed happily, curling into his warmth and embrace as you felt the course of want throb through your body. Jungkook’s hand moved from your lower back to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into his mouth and he smirked. “Yeah? Wanna have make up sex?”

You flushed at his blatant egging you on, but you also hadn’t had him in so long and you really wanted to kiss him and hold him. As mushy and gross as that was, it made your heart flutter to know he wanted you just as much. You didn’t want to be ashamed of the joy this man brought you. So you kissed him back as your answer, following his lead to his bedroom. Jungkook squeezed your hips and kicked his door shut.

“Jump baby,” he encouraged. You did as he asked and jumped into his waiting arms, making a soft squeak when his hands grabbed onto your ass.

“Jungkook,” you murmured, kissing his jaw and up to his ear. He sighed in pleasure as your sweet mouth worked eager pecks into his skin, causing goosebumps to raise along his arms and neck.

“Yes, fuck...” he groaned, cradling your neck as he carried you to his bed.

After a few more hot kisses he laid you down carefully, towering over you with a hungry expression on his face, but also feeling oddly emotional to have you now.

“Gonna fuck you baby,” he promised, bringing his lips to yours once more. His mouth was warm and comforting as he teased his tongue inside. You let him in and let the heady kiss continue to fuck you up more and more.

“Want you,” you breathed. “I always want you, Jungkook... Want to be yours,” you whispered.

“You are mine,” he growled, capturing your mouth again and again. It seemed you could barely breathe without him trying to steal the very words and breath from your lungs through his kiss.

You lifted your legs to cage in his waist as he started to press you further and further into the bed. With devious hands you tugged on his shirt to pull it off his body. He let you, allowing the material to fall to the floor and surging back to connect your mouths.

It didn’t occur to you how much Jungkook liked kissing you until you had him trying to suck your soul out of your mouth like this. But it only added to the heat and desire in the situation. To be desired and to desire someone, it was consuming the two of you in this moment.

You were consuming each other. And you couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to stop. Ever.

“Jungkook~” you called when he started sucking on your neck and shoulder. He bit down and caused your legs to squeeze his waist from the pleasure.

“Yes baby, fuck...” he encouraged, dipping on hand under your skirt to touch your soaking core. “So wet...” he marveled, licking and sucking his way back to your mouth. “Let me touch?”

“Yes! Please, please touch me,” you begged, rolling your hips forward. You’d been with Jungkook several times at this point. You knew what to do to make him crazy, and how to pleasure yourself with his body against yours.

He groaned, your pleading tone making his cock throb with need. “Want my fingers pretty? Want me to make you cum on my tongue?”

You nodded quickly, the idea of his hot mouth on your aching center had you mewling his name. “Jungkook! Jungkook please,” you cried.

“Of course, love eating your little cunt,” he moaned, pushing your skirt up and away from your center. His greedy hands pulling your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time before connecting his mouth to your wet heat.

“Jungkook!” you cried, head falling back into his sheets as he pleasured you. “Fuck, feels so good!” You found your hand tangling into his hair, tugging as he licked at your clit with his tongue flattened.

If there was one way Jungkook would like to go out of this world, it was with his head between your thighs, because he was sure this was the closest thing to heaven. You tasted incredible to him, and your sweet whimpers and mewls while he ate you out drove him insane in the best way.

You were writhing in pleasure, Jungkook pushing two fingers inside your heat to egg you closer to the orgasm you desperately craved. He moaned when you gave his hair another sharp tug, making his hips buck into the mattress to try and relieve the pressure in his lower stomach and throbbing cock.

“Baby,” he groaned. “Taste s’good,” he slurred against your pussy. It made your mind dizzy with how much he enjoyed pleasuring and tasting you. You worried about it when you first started having sex. You thought men didn’t particularly like it, and before you’d even started you worried he wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t be interested in doing it but boy oh boy. Jungkook very quickly proved you wrong.

He seemed to get off on it almost as much as you.

“Jungkook!” you whined, feeling his fingers thrusting inside you gingerly to ease you into opening up. “Baby~”

“That’s it, my good girl,” he purred, licking at your clit again to give you the extra push he knew would send you over the edge into bliss.

Your legs tensed around his head and Jungkook moaned into your core as you found yourself being thrown into your orgasm with little warning. “Jungkook! Fuck, I’m cumming!”

He eased you through it, gingerly thrusting his fingers while softly kissing your core. “Good girl, cum for me...”

“Baby... Need you, let me suck your dick? Please? Wanna taste you too,” you pleaded, reaching for his pants.

Jungkook was a weak man for his girlfriend begging to suck his dick. Especially when his girlfriend was you. Your sweet pleading eyes looking at him. How could he resist?

“Of course baby, all for you...” He said, standing up to pull his pants and boxers off in one swift motion while you tugged your shirt and bra off frantically, tossing them to meet his on the floor.

Once you two were naked, Jungkook approached with his hard cock in his hand as he slowly pumped himself to relieve the desperate ache he felt. “Gonna suck me baby?” he asked, watching with hooded eyes as you lowered yourself to the floor on your knees.

“Yes, wanna suck you off,” you said, kissing his lower stomach with tender kisses. Jungkook sighed happily at your sweet mouth but soon you were replacing his hand with your own, pumping his length while biting your lip and looking into his eyes with your demure gaze. “You know, I’ve never been one for nicknames in the bedroom... but I think I can make an exception...”

Jungkook raised his brows at you, hips jolting at the thought of you calling him a name in the bedroom. You’d kept it pretty basic with ‘baby’ and his name, which wasn’t a bad thing. He much preferred your helpless cries of pleasure than any name...

But, Jungkook was also a rather simple man in the bedroom and he had the common name kink.

“Gonna call me daddy baby?” he asked, teasing your lip with his thumb.

“If you want,” you said, licking his tip and opening your mouth to let some of his cock move inside your warmth.

“Fuck, yeah,” he nodded. “I want you to, please baby...”

“Yes daddy,” you purred, taking his cock deeper in yet.

Jungkook dropped his head back, succumbing to the pleasure that was your pretty mouth. You had learned rather quickly how to suck his dick and he couldn’t say he wasn’t appreciative. It wasn’t easy to learn someone else’s pleasure and how they liked to be treated and handled outside the basic respectful ways, but you had always known his tells and spots almost right out the gate.

It was honestly almost annoying at first. But fuck if it didn’t feel amazing right now. You massaged the tip with your tongue while gently bobbing your head along his shaft and palming his balls with a firm yet careful grip.

His hand came to collect your hair in a ponytail that he gathered in his fist as you kept sucking him off. His mind reeled with the pleasure your hot mouth gave him, his abs clenching gently at your gags and chokes as you continued to push his cock further down your throat.

“Yessss, baby, fuck-lemme fuck your throat? Huh? You’ve gotten so much better at it,” he asked, raising an attractive brow at you and you couldn’t help the wetness that pooled between your thighs.

“Whatever you want, I’m yours,” you said, opening your mouth further and letting him grab your head a little firmer before starting to shallowly thrust inside your mouth and throat.

You inhaled through your nose, easing your throat to relax as he kept thrusting gingerly. “Doing good baby, keep breathing, fuck-argh, your little mouth feels so fucking good,” he growled, gritting his teeth as he felt your throat constrict around his cock.

You gagged softly as his dick hit the back of your throat and even pushed a little beyond. But the expression he wore on his face made your thighs clench. He looked so fucking hot like this, eyes hooded and glazed with lust and sweat starting to form on his temples. You wanted to please him, so you swallowed causing his thighs to tremble slightly from the pleasure.

“Fuck, Y/N, need to fuck you now. Or I’m gonna bust down your throat,” he sighed, pulling you off of him and licking his lips. “Want me inside you baby?”

You nodded, getting up and heading to the bed. Just as Jungkook went to the bedside table to grab a condom you reached for his hand.

“Hey... You haven’t fucked anyone else right?” you asked, voice small and soft.

He shook his head. “No baby, not since we started.”

“Then... I’m on the pill, if you want to go raw?” you asked, voice sheepish.

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “You-You want to?”

You flushed in embarrassment but nodded. Because it was true. You did want to have him that way. “I-I want to know what it’s like.”

He moved in closer to kiss you, watching you drop back onto his bed and nestling into his sheets. Jungkook brought his hand to your center to find you soaking, making a soft smirk spread across his features. “Want me to fill your pussy baby? Want me to cum inside you?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes please daddy, fill me up?” you begged.

Jungkook wasn’t going to deny a request as sweet as that. “Spread your legs,” he said, moving his hands from your center to hook into your knees as you moved to accommodate him between your thighs.

“Please baby... don’t make me wait anymore, I missed you so much,” you whimpered.

“No more teasing baby, I’ll put it in,” he promised, running his cock between your lips to get it wet with your juices before he pushed in slowly.

You whined as you felt the full feeling of him moving inside of you. “Kook~” you mewled, reaching for his hand. He intertwined your fingers, bringing his other hand to your thigh to hold it in place.

“Yeah baby? Feel good?” he asked, setting a steady rhythm that had your heart thudding in your chest.

“Yes daddy! Feels so fucking good, love your cock in me,” you breathed, squeezing his hand as he picked up the pace and started pushing into you faster.

“Wanna fuck you hard baby, wanna fuck your pretty pussy full of my cum,” he growled, moving to kiss and suck at your chest. You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck as he thrusted inside you.

You could feel every inch of him. As practical and smart as condoms were, holy shit this felt incredible. You could feel him, the heat of his cock and the hardness that sent your mind into a dizzy swirl of arousal and desire.

“Please... Please fuck me baby, wanna feel your cum,” you hiccuped, crying out when he took your nipple in his mouth and sucked on it.

You felt a shiver of bliss run across your body, Jungkook’s body moving on top of yours and creating the desperate ache of your orgasm building within you.

Jungkook was panting against your skin, holding your leg up as he pounded into your wet heat over and over again, making his own mind swirl in desperation. “Fuck... fucking tight pussy, you feel so fucking good baby... Like my cock inside you? Like me fucking you hard?”

“Yes! Yes daddy!” you sobbed, gripping his back and digging your nails in as Jungkook groaned in pleasure.

“Such a wet little cunt, you like this big dick huh baby? Like daddy fucking you hard with his big cock, like a good little slut. Feels so good, shit,” he groaned, rutting his hips into yours and encouraging you to grind your hips against his. “Yes, just like that.”

“Kook! Kook! Baby,” you cried, moving to kiss him as he aggressively fucked you into his mattress. The lewd sounds of skin clapping together filled the room, your moans and cries flooding Jungkook’s ears.

“Yes, fuck yes give it to me baby, fuck yourself stupid on my cock,” he snarled, biting down on your shoulder as you tugged his hair. “Want to see you cream baby, need to feel your tight pussy cum on me.”

Jungkook kept his pace firm inside of you, effectively slamming you into his mattress as you held onto him for dear life. He hadn’t been rough with you like this in a while, but it was also not aggressive in the way you thought it would be. Even though he was fucking you like a savage, it was from a place of passion. He couldn’t hold himself back because you felt too good, he wanted to feel you.

Every inch of him filled you and had you gasping and clinging to him. “Please baby, wanna cum! Wanna cum for you daddy, make me cum for you?” You pleaded.

“Of course, pretty girl, I’ll make your pussy cum hard for me. Make you cream this cock,” he panted. “Want to see my cum pouring from your cunt, fuck!”

“Then give it to me,” you said, your legs hooking behind his back as he fucked into you harshly.

“Fuck! Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing his thumb to your clit to urge you closer to the edge he found himself rapidly approaching. It had been a while since he’d had sex with you and he hadn’t gone raw in a long while and he knew he wasn’t going to last nearly as long as he’d hope for.

But you didn’t seem to be too concerned about it, just as eager to cum for him as he was for you.

“Cum baby! Please, right there! So close,” you cried.

“Y/N! Baby! Fuck,” he growled out as he bucked his hips into your aggressively while painting your insides white with his thick cum. You gasped at the feeling of his cum inside you and it threw you over the edge into your own orgasm.

Jungkook ground against you harshly, whining his release. “Fuck baby... Made me cum so fucking hard, good girl,” he mumbled out, bringing his lips to yours sweetly. “Breathe baby, breathe with me.”

You followed him, looking into his bleary eyes with your own fucked out ones.

It wasn’t nearly as long as it usually was, but you didn’t give a damn because it was some of the most intense sex the two of you had thus far.

Hopefully there were more fun things like that in your future.

Meeeeooooowwww!

You and Jungkook startled at Eden moving out of his closet.

“Oh what the fuck, did the cat watch us?” Jungkook lamented.

“She doesn’t care-”

“How did she even get in here?!” he sighed, already coming down from his orgasm as he pulled out of you. His eyes connected with your dripping core and he couldn’t help himself. He moved forward to lick your center when the cat jumped up on the bed.

“Hi baby,” you cooed and Jungkook sighed.

“I’m a little busy cat,” he grumbled, looking at your center with wanton desire. You smiled and sat up to place a sweet kiss on his forehead.

“Want to get in the shower?” you asked, raising a brow at him. “She hates water.”

“Yes, lets go-”

Meeeeooowww!

“Shut up cat!”

You giggled at the two of them before leading Jungkook into the bathroom. Your hearts beat against each other as you pulled each other into the shower. Jungkook’s hands were quick to settle on your hips and you could feel the relief at being in his arms again.

It had taken a little finessing, but finally you were able to speak your mind. Speak your truth to Jungkook.

He’d given you his heart and you’d given him yours in turn, and you’d cherish this for as long as you could. You weren’t sure if you were destined to be, you weren’t sure if you’d last a month dating.

But it didn’t matter. At this moment, you two were together.

And that was enough.

#bangtan sorciere #btsafterdarknet #52hertz #ksmutclu #ficswithluv #BTS #Bangtan #BTS smut #BTS fanfic #BTS fanfiction #Jungkook X Reader #Jungkook smut #Jungkook Fuckboy #bts college au #Jessika Hathaway

[neonghostlights]

You kept your eyes shut as you heard your door creak open, followed by the sounds of muffled shuffling.

The bed creaked and you felt it shift, your body leaning down towards the added weight on the mattress springs.

Eddie huffed as he laid back and made himself comfortable in your bed.

You could smell debauchery and sweet perfume wafting off of him. If you rolled over and looked at him you were sure you would see him with lipstick marks on his neck; some times red, sometimes pink, sometimes purple. He would still have on his eyeliner, smeared to imperfect perfection. He would be wearing all black and leather, and maybe even no shirt.

This was what he did.

Your best friend, Eddie, liked to torture you without second thought. He would go to The Hideout for his weekly shows, hook up with any random girl he could find, and then make his way to your bed when he kicked her out of his.

He said he didn’t like to sleep alone.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him and you squeezed your eyes tighter. You didn’t want to see him tonight, not when all you could think about was how you wished he would love you instead of all the random people he slept with. How you wished he would see you more than a friend.

You let out a deep breath.

“You awake?” He muttered, voice raspy into your ear.

You relaxed your muscles, feigning sleep as a silent tear rolled down your cheek.

#fuckboy!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson au #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie stranger things #eddie munson angst

[winterarmyy]

Deleted Scene

An alternate ending of Thin Walls, Thin Lines.

Note: Basically the smut content no one asked for our fuckboy!bucky in 《 Thin Walls, Thin Lines 》. So read it first for context! (if you haven't already)

Navigation: Original Version || Deleted Scene* (alt. ending)

Pairing: fuckboy!bucky x female!reader

Words: 3.7k++

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, no minors allowed, nsfw, fluff, lil bit of angst, cunnilingus, finger fucking, unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming, squirting, cum eating, needy bucky, an absolute filth and i'm sorry for bucky's behaviour in this one, he is just a horny mf on a daily basis also I just want to warn you about the sinful things he might say in this.

P/S: I don't know what to say. I love the fluff ending from the original version, but this... this ending. Even if i feel like it's a messy writing. but pheww. You can just tell why I refused to choose and ended up doing both.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A playful smirk pulled on Bucky's lips when he spoke "Doll, you shouldn't be saying that so carelessly. Who knows I might use it for despicable things." Surely, he love to be the cause to bloom those red shades on her cheeks.

But it didn't happened when she asked quietly, "Will you?"

And the silence that came after was heavy with tenderness while their eyes spoke the truth to one another. As the thin lines in between got blurry, for once, there was just streams of genuine feelings pouring out of them, leaking through and contaminating the air with its magic.

Would he? Take advantage of her?

Of course not. But will he lie just to tease her? Yes. He would. "Maybe. Only if you let me." He shrugged.

And that made her blooming feature fell into a gloom. As if she was having a chaotic crisis within the pretty little troubled head of hers. Y/N didn't want whatever he was suggesting. She wanted more than a brief fling; more than a casual situationship.   

Because she loved him; truly. It wasn't just a passing passion, or an accidental chemistry.

Seeing the frown on her face and the panic spiralling in her eyes, Bucky chuckled as he knew she was taking his joke way too seriously, "Okay, how about I let you on with a little secret?" He suggested.

It perked her interest that Y/N simply nodded to his offer. Bucky smiled as he leaned down, lips grazing the shell of her ears whispering a shocking confession.

She wasn't even high from any medication that Dr. Cho had prescribe to her but she couldn't believe what she heard. Her widen eyes questioned his smug smile hovering over her. Until she sneakily pulled the pillow next to her and threw it to his face.

Y/N kicked the blankets and changed into a sitting position, "Urghh you're such a dick, Bucky! I can't believe that I let you make fun of me!" She said with a biting tone.

"But, I'm not though?" Which only triggered her to smack him more with the pillow she was holding. Soon, the silent room were filled with the sound of her angry groans and Bucky's hearty laughter that cascade into a muffled chuckles.

The moment Y/N let her guard down, Bucky quickly stole the soft weapon from her and reclarified his confession, "I'm serious. I've been in love with you for awhile now." It's not she was blind; she saw no lies in his eyes and there was nothing but truth in the gentle of his voice.

She squinted her eyes into a glare and folded her arms across her chest, "Well, you have a rather funny way of showing it."

Bucky only smile to her snarky remarks, his hand finding hers to pull her closer, "I think I made it clear with the endless flirting that you have been blatantly rejecting, doll." He placed her perfectly on his lap, rubbing his big hands on her small back.

Y/N scoffed, "The only thing that was clear from that was how badly you wanted to get in my pants." Despite her objection, she let him pamper her body with his touch.

Bucky grinned, "And I do. But, only because I love you."

When she caught his gaze, she knew there was something magical about it; she have read so many books and poetry describing the look of his steel blues. A look that she can only dream of and not experience it; and if she was to make it come true, then this would be it.

Bucky moved slightly forward to nudge the tip of his nose on her own, hands intertwining with her shaky ones, silently asking for a permission to kiss her.

If she wasn't too focus on his presence on her skin, she would've noticed how the blood rushing to her cheeks were making her blushed in red. It felt good, it felt right.

Y/N gave her answer by leaning her forehead on his and he didn't waste any time to capture her lips, pressing an innocent kiss against it as his flesh hand gripped on hers while his metal hand find her cheek.

Soon enough the surrounding air heated and Bucky managed to slipped his tongue into her parted lips, his tongue wrapped around hers as her free hand reached back to gather his hair in her grasp. As they were blinded in sight by their closed eyes, they let sensory of their body ravel in each other's touch.

Out of instinct, her hand pulled from his back, then resting it on the prickly surface of his jaw before slightly pushing him away. Bucky took the cue and broke the kiss, "Babydoll." His hot breath blew against her cheek as he lean his lips on it.

Y/N realized what she had done; she let him kiss her, touch her but what does this mean? "I..I.." She hesitated.

"You're okay, y/n. Tell me to stop. Tell me to fuck off. It's okay, you can tell me anything." Bucky coaxed softly as he held her closer.

"I want this. I want you, Bucky. But... how can I trust you?" She really do. But, some part of her still reluctant to his history, "You've been sleeping around with those girls for months. Almost every night." Bucky cringed to his own behaviour. "How do I know it? That I'm not becoming one of them? That I'm not just some fucktoy you're gonna use and toss after?" She didn't care if she sound desperate. She needed him to be true because she know this won't work if he isn't willing to.

Bucky breath caught in the middle, as he knew that even the sweetest words won't satisfy her worry, so he only told the truth, "You have been the only one I wanted, y/n. And I know words aren't enough convice you. So let me show you, baby. Let me make love to you until you see how much I truly love you."

And he indeed fulfill his promise on that.

Bucky took his time undressing her until she was bare as the day she was born. He took longer time kissing her skin, loving each part of her perfect body and a much more lingering kisses around the bruises from today's mission.

Now that her pretty little cunt was right in front of him, exposed and bare, he wondered if this was all just a dream. Because it felt like it. No matter though; he'd devour her just the same whether she was just a creation of his dreams or his actual reality.

Bucky pressed several kisses on her clit, leaving the wet kissing noises filling the quiet room. He brought his tongue out slowly and started to lick her up; just to have a taste, "So pretty." he purred in between licking her fluids, teasing her. "So perfect." His fingers went to spread her lips apart and she made a strangled noise when she felt his long wet tongue, flattening through her folds, "Fuck." she cursed.

And after the first taste of her, Bucky realized how greedy he was getting especially when delved right back into her. "Bucky..." she whimpered his name as his warm lips wrapped around her clit, lewdly sucking on as if it was a tasty strawberry flavored sweet, just to release her moments after. He chuckled and slurred against her wetness, "Love the way you moan by name, sweetheart. Need to hear more."

His hands had moved from her waist to her hips in effort to pull her closer. If Y/N had anything to speak up in response then it was too late to say out loud because her head was swiftly wiped clean the moment his lips press into her clit again.

Bucky's grip on her thighs were almost harsh, just to keep her legs spread wide open for him to suckle on her clit, flicking his tongue over it deliciously. Looking down, she can only see the dark mess hair bobbing between her legs as he eats out her needy little cunt.

Y/N's mind was cloudy with ecstacy and pleasure crawling through her with each flick of his warm tongue between her folds. When it felt too good, she couldn't help but to catch his soft hair, holding on for her dear life as he devoured her cunt; noisy and messy.

"So fucking good, doll." He grunted into her weeping pussy, low and sensual as he pushed her legs further, allowing himself more access to her sweetness. "You taste so good."

Unbeknownst to her, Bucky was also enjoying every moment of this. Each time he moaned and groaned into her pussy, was the also time he thrusted his own needy cock against the mattress. The tip of was leaking with so much precum that it had left a wet stain behind.

With him getting that desperate, it felt like he was about to bust his nuts at any given time. But he wanted to wait; at least until Y/N gets her first high of the night. When his slick tongue deliciously fucking her pussy, exploring inside her, litters of curses of his name escaped from her lips as she moaned.

His wet tongue explored her insides as they clenched with lust and she choked out of air, not sure of how much longer she could take it because there was no way to deny it, she was about to cum, "Fuck,, Bucky. I'm cumming,,"

Bucky hummed into her when he pulled his tongue out, switching to rubbing on her clit, up and down, all the while was chasing his own orgasm, frantically humping on the bed like a rabid dog in heat.

Y/N gasped when he alternate between to sucking her clit and licking her up. Her back arched, pushing her cunt further into his hungry mouth in hopes to reach her release, "Please, please, don't stop.. need it, Bucky. Oh fuckkk"

Both of his hands; flesh and metal, slide up to grab her hips, helping her to grind on his tongue until her wetness came leaking out into his mouth, right on his tongue. Bucky came right along with her, grunting needily as the pink tip of his cock spurted out ribbons of his cream on in her mattress, marking his territory.

Bucky continued running his tongue up and down her wet slit throughout her orgasm, lapping away at her release that leaked out then gulping it down his throat as he watched her sighs with content.

When he pressed a soft kiss against her puffy, oversenstive clit, she thought it was end of it. But she couldn't be more wrong. The moment Y/N felt his metal finger trailed along her inner thighs, she knew that he wasn't satisfied with just eating her out.

She yelped when Bucky swiftly pulled her down, until her ass slides through the mess he made earlier, "What...?" Y/N herself didn't know what to ask but he knew exactly how to answer, "That's my cum, babydoll." He swiped some of the fluid from the sheets and smeared it on her throbbing cunt, making her instinctively moan.

Bucky smirked, "Eating your pretty pussy made me cum so hard, doll." With hunger in his gaze, he watched how his mess of a cum made her cunt glisten even more, "And because of that you deserve a reward, don't you think?" She whined as she nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, you do. You deserve to get your tight hole fucked by my metal fingers, don't you?" He continued to draw tight circles on her clit while his middle finger glides through her slit until he found her entrance, and pushed it in.

Y/N's head jerked up to the sudden intrusion. It was cold and reached much deeper than any of her fingers before. When Bucky twisted and curled the metal within her walls she cried out of pleasure. It was such new sensation and so fucking good.

A sudden entrance of another finger making her squeal from how sensitive her insides were to his metal fingers. And it made Bucky so full with pride to see her bending her back, her hips quivering, her walls tighten; all for him, "You can take it, sweetheart."

There was no such thing a pause when Bucky finger-fucked her hard; with his flesh hand pawing at her breast. He had his eyes locked on to the way her eyes roll back, panting breaths through those soft lips of hers, while his fingers drilled her tight pussy over and over and over, "That's it, that's fucking it baby. Such a good girl for me." He praised.

Endless moan were filling the room, along with the squelching sound of her wet cunt getting pounded mercilessly. Y/N lifted her hips higher; the feelings of Bucky's fingers inside her was different than her own. The stimulation and pleasure coming from his ways were distinct; like how the tip of his finger hits her unexplored g-spots or how his thumb pressed and twisted on her clit.

Bucky managed to pull the most sinful and desperate noises from her, "I-I’m going to cum,," she whimpered, hands balling into fists on the bed sheets as her hips followed his thrusts. "Yeah? Already, doll?" He taunted as he rolled her clit between his thumb and index finger.

Y/N nodded eagerly in between her moaning mess, before she let out high-pitched, satisfied whimper of his name as endless of fluid squirted out of her overstimulated pussy. "Oh fuck babydoll." He groaned as watched awe at her gushing cunt. "Did you just squirt? Hmm fuckkkkk, you should've done that when I have my mouth on you, baby. Shit."

Bucky scoot back to leaned his face right in between her legs. He darted his tongue out before he licked and suck the remaining fluid leaking out of her, making her squirm and whimper. And the slurping sound coming from him was such a sinful thing to hear, "Taste so good too. Gotta do that again next time, sweetheart. I wanna drink it all." he proposed.

"But now I need to be inside you." Bucky's declaration were cut short as his mouth captured hers in a heated kiss.

Y/N moaned into his mouth, tasting herself on his tongue as she kissed him back passionately, her body burning from all the pent-up frustration she had been pushing back for months. Bucky broke the kiss after a few mind-numbing minutes, before his hungry lips roamed around her neck, hands trailing over every part of her exposed skin as her heart rate spikes

"Need you, babydoll." Bucky groaned as he pumped his hard cock with his hand, spreading his dribbling pre-cum around his thick length. She whined as he gripped her legs, spreading them as wide as they'll go before rubbing the head of his cock against her slit.

He leaned again to kiss her one more time before sliding inside, slowly. "Oh god," Y/N moaned as she burned deliciously around him while he spreads her open.

Bucky's hands moved up find the crook in between her waist and hips, settling his veiny hands to the shape of her curves. His hips pounded into her, getting faster and harder with each thrust. As Y/N began to wrap her legs around his waist, he grabbed them and pulling he flused against his hips before he continued drilled his cock into her pussy.

The sensation was a combination of pain and pleasure and she feel as though she's in heaven. "Faster," she cried out.

"Look at you. You're so wet for me, doll. Feels so good around me--" Bucky's voice breaks into a groan as his hips meet hers, "--It's like your pussy was made for me. Gotta let me have you everyday now that you're mine, right sweetheart?"

"Mmmmhnn" she moaned; things took a turn when she clutched around him harder, it was abnormally tight as if it was trying to milk him right there and then. Bucky couldn't help but to groan in pleasure to the new sensation, "F-fuck" he cursed.

It took his less than a minute to figure out the reason why. Bucky smirked sinfully, "You like it when I talk dirty to you?" he slurred. Y/N's eyes were getting teary from all the pleasure she was feeling, from the stuffing feelings in her chest to the sensation of his hard cock thrusting in and out of her cunt.

"i- ahh I-i don't hhmmnn shit i don't know." she tried to deny him.

Bucky stopped his pace, pulled back slowly, "Really?" and slammed it back in hard, "Are you sure, princess?" He almost knocked her out of her breath.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that my pretty girl loves it when I claim her as mine while I'm fucking her tight little pussy. Does she?" Bucky's kept on slow and hard torturous thrust, it was certainly slow but oh it felt so good; especially when he was doting at Y/N like this.

Was she really a sinner? Because this felt way too good to be in hell.

"Can't speak? Come on, my sweetheart. Speak up, let me hear ya." He demanded. Bucking her hips, wanting for more, "Y-yes, Bucky. I love i-it"

Bucky groan as her walls clenched him so good. Fuck, how many times has he thought of this? Dreamt of this? Probably, countless.

"You know why I keep changing girls, doll?" He sneaks his hands between their bodies and started to rub her clit. Her body shivered to the sensation, shaking her head to the sides as answer. "Yeah,, I bet you have no idea why do you?" He taunted.

Bucky let out a satisfied moan before his thrusts started going back to it's original pace. All whilst his cock pumped into her, gradually growing more fervent, her soaking pussy welcoming him in easily. Her whines mixed with Bucky's as she grabbed on the sheets behind her.

"Because I've been moaning your name in their ears, y/n. Everytime I stroke on my cock in anything, I have you in my mind. And when I cum, I imagine your pussy milking me dry. Just like you're doing now. Fuckkk,, doll, just like that."

Bucky's eyes that was fixated on her fucked out face since awhile ago, traveled down to where they were connected. Looking at how her little pussy shallowed his dick so well make him hornier.

Y/N slightly bounced upwards, his blues eyes tended back to her breasts. He used extra strength to see how her small body shook uncontrollably every time his hips met with hers, and to see those beautiful tits bouncing around.

"Bet you have no clue how much I want fuck my baby in you, doll. Or imagining the way your wedding ring glides on the side of my cock when you stroke me in your hand."

Bucky angled her body again by throwing her legs over his shoulders and leaned forward. This new angle made her eyes roll back. "Oh fuckk-- ahhh bucky,," she managed to say between his thrusts. Her entire body shaking from the tension building in her body as Bucky fucks her hard and fast, "I love you, y/n. I love you so. damn. much. I want to live the rest of my life in this cunt." He punctuated his words with hitting her sweet spot each time.

Bucky briefly threw his head back to hold back his orgasm before his hazy gaze landed on her, "Fuck doll, you look so pretty with my cock in you baby, so pretty. And we're so wet now. Hear that? Yeah, that's the sound of your tight little cunt getting wrecked by my cock. You fit me so perfectly. We're perfect." His thoughts were spilling out just as much as his precum leaking inside her.

There were tears in her eyes now, not only her walls but her whole body were stretching under him. It burned and it felt so damn good.

"Need you to cum, baby" Bucky spoke lowly, "I can feel ya, come on doll. Cum for me." He growled while continuing to pound her pussy.

And that would be the final straw for her. "fuck, yes, yes!" her voice hitched as her thighs begin to tremble around him. "...cumming. fuck, bucky i'm cumming." loud and sensual moans falling from her lips without much of an effort. Screaming out his name in pure bliss as her orgasm snapped through her high.

"That's it baby. Squeeze me so good." Bucky coaxed ever-so-tenderly, as her cum leaked around his cock and her pussy continued to milk him; begging and needing to feel his cum inside her.

"Hmm. I'm cumming, doll. Fuck,, oh fucking hell,, you're so good. Making me wanna cum, sweetheart. Where do you want it? Tell me. Where do you want my cum?" Bucky nearly whimpered as he felt his heavy balls were about to combust.

"Inside. Cum inside me," she moaned breathlessly.

Bucky almost growled to her response, "Good. fucking. girl. That's the only choice, baby. I'm gonna cum in you eitherway. Fuck fuck fuck,, I'm cumming shit take it, babydoll take it yeaahhh"

Leaning into her neck in a loud long moan, she felt Bucky's cock ached as he spilled himself inside her. His huge amount cream kept spurting endlessly, so much that it leaked out of her hole. Bucky whined as he continue to roll his hips, unable to stop humping into her stretched out, cum-filled cunt.

As he come down from the high, Bucky tried to pull out but only to be stopped by her circling her legs around him. He chuckled at her needy behaviour; as he found it quite adorable, "Want me to stay, baby?" he whispered softly and got a drunken nod as answer.

Bucky carefully flipped their position without leaving the tightness of her pussy, lying her limping body on his own. "Hmmmm" she hummed sleepily as she snuggled into his chest, eyes heavy with satisfaction.

"Yeah? Need my cock to fill you up for you to sleep well, hmm babydoll?" He cooed as he grind her hips downward, thrusting his cock into her slow and gentle. Y/N whined and mumbled, "Yes, please."

Bucky smiled tenderly, "Okay sweetheart. I'll keep you stuffed as long as you need me to. Now, I need you to go to sleep, okay?" He said, getting simple "okay" from the lady in his arms. Bucky placed a kiss on her head, as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as both of them got more and more drowsy as time goes by.

And at the end of this night, it was safe to say that this had been the best and longest sleep they both had since forever.

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Leave some thoughts behind? The sinful the better 🙈

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #avenger!bucky #fuckboy!bucky #bucky smut #bucky barnes smut #thin walls thin lines au

[alphabetboyluvr]

once the thrill expires | jjk

title credit: cardigan - taylor swift

pairing: college!jungkook x female reader

synopsis:

your housemate-turned-fwb takes another girl home after a night out

warnings: angsty, smutty turmoil. it's not that bad, but it definitely isn't a happy lil number. fingering, oral sex (f receiving), rimming (f receiving), vaginal sex, doggy, protected (!!) sex, lil spanks, jaykay sorta makes out with her ear???, jaykay is a fawk boy who needs to learn self-control, oc is holding out for something that'll never happen, multiple partners in one night (jk), jk calls the reader diz (dizzy)

wordcount: 5.8K

note from holly: virgo boy trauma for you in the form of a jk one shot lmao. it's rare you get virgo boy shit laid this bare but he he i love oversharing on the internet! there's an old paragraph from yet another virgo boy fic hidden in here, too so if you think it looks familiar, that'll be why!!

minors dni // cross posted to wattpad

The knock on your en-suite bathroom door comes as a surprise. 

The subsequent twist of the lock mechanism from a coin wedged in the bolt on the other side does not. 

There’s only one person it would be.

And so you don’t yell. Don’t tell him to go away, even if you do hug your legs into your chest a little tighter. 

Sitting on the floor of your shower, dignity is preserved - but with skin as red as the flags that Jungkook freely hands you, and mascara staining your cheeks from the onslaught of piping hot water showering down on you, how dignified can you really be?

No words are spoken as the steam billows from the room, Jungkook not caring to shut the door behind himself. He takes a perch on the closed lid of the toilet, elbows to his knees, tattooed hands clasped beneath his chin. Refuses to look anywhere other than you.

There’s perplexion to his taut jaw - a frown embedded in his brows - but more than anything, there’s an overwhelming sense of confusion in his soft eyes. You’re unaware of the way he’s mirroring your expression back at you; how defeated you look, wet hair sticking to the side of your face, an emptiness in your gaze that is pale in comparison to the void in your chest.

With nothing but the pitter-patter of your shower to fill the space, you’re thankful that he can’t hear the way your heart is beating, or how you’re sniffing back the tears you were freely crying before he arrived.

“Jem messaged me,” he eventually says, quiet beneath the sound of the water. Leaning back, he wipes a palm over his face, then pushes it back into his dishevelled hair. Lets his hand fall between his legs, then shrugs as he looks at you as if to say, 'Don’t look at me like that' or 'It’s not my fault.'

And realistically, you know that it isn’t. Whatever he’s done is within the parameters of what was agreed upon. The way you feel - like Jungkook has stolen the moon and stopped the tides from turning - is not.

It’s not like either of you had ever expected to let things get this far, and definitely not for this long.

What had started as quiet kisses in the corners of clubs when your friends weren’t looking, had catapulted into drunken hook-ups after those aforementioned nights out. 

He’d call you Dizzy, ‘cause he was convinced you looked at him like you’d been spinning in circles, all awe-struck and smiley. Pretty. Like a giggle was on the tip of your tongue at all times.

Was easy, back then. Convenient. He was newly single. Not looking for anything. 

You’d been quietly harbouring an illicit crush on him from the day you moved into your shared university accommodation. Had been waiting for the stars to align - and once they had, you were certain that soulmates had to exist.

It’s the only way you can explain the small earthquake that happened half the world away at the very time you first met, the tectonic plates shifting to make sure you were perfectly presented to one another. 

You didn’t feel the tremors - would have been impossible - but your heart certainly felt something. Adrenaline? Limerence? You’re not sure.

Whatever it was only became more and more prevalent with every tipsy hold of his hand on the way to clubs, or moments stolen in secrecy in the house you now share with six of your friends. 

Now in your final year of university, if you spent as much time studying, as you do fretting over Jungkook - what he’s up to, who he’s with - maybe you’d get a first-class degree.

You’re on track for a 2:1.

He’s on track for a first, though. 

You choose to believe it’s because he’s naturally more academically inclined (as if you didn’t write an entire paper for him last semester), and not because he spends significantly less time thinking about you.

There’s no need for endless thoughts, though. 

The arrangement is simple: You’re friends. 

Best friends. Spend all your time together. Are plus ones to events. Fill the void that a partner should fill; at the winter balls, cinema screenings you don't want to see alone, and in the hushed privacy of midnight intimacy. He gets you off when you need it, and you him. 

Kisses are never shared between lips - apart from that one summer when he accidentally said he was in love with you, then took it back a week later under the guise of not wanting to ‘ruin’ the friendship. 

You don’t speak about that summer.

Hook-ups are in your room, always, ‘cause you’ve only got Jem in the room next door. Jungkook’s room is up on the middle floor, surrounded by all the boys. They’d realise what’s going on far too quickly.

It’s simple - yet excruciatingly complicated when there’s a lack of commitment, and Jungkook looks at you in the way that he does. 

His lips are a little deeper than their usual pink this evening, but you put it down to alcohol. 

Denial is a wonderful thing, and delusion even greater.

Still, he leans forward to push the shower door open. Leans further still, then knocks the tap off. Lets the water trickle down the drain, the hum of the pipes murmuring like your unspoken grievances. 

Rivulets of water chase down your skin. Jungkook watches one race from your knee to your ankle, running straight over the bruises from messy nights out and the small cut at the bottom of your calf from the fountain you’d both traipsed through when you were a little too merry a few nights prior. 

He’d given you a piggyback the entire way home, blood staining the white of his shirt; the very essence of you embedded now in the fabric of him. 

He’d patched you up after you got home. Showered with you, right here, then carried you the measly five or six steps to your bed. Had told you that you’d definitely get sepsis and die. Kissed it better, then decided he didn’t know any better, and trailed his lips up your leg. Took pity on your impending death and gave you a little, lovely death just to soften the blow. 

Funny, how you think sepsis would be preferable over whatever the fuck it is that you’re feeling now.

“Jem messaged me,” he repeats. Presses his lips together, the ring in the corner of his mouth glistening under the white lights of the bathroom.  “Said I should check on you. Been in the shower for an hour, apparently.”

Well, you think to yourself, bitterness wrapping around your words like poison ivy. You’ve checked. You can go now.

The words don’t manifest in your throat. Nothing does. Not even the echo of a sob you’ve been holding in since he first stepped foot within your sanctuary.

Instead you’re silent as you get to your feet, not caring for your nakedness. It’s nothing Jungkook hasn’t seen before. Probably knows your body better than his own at this point. Can look at the faded bruise on your chest and know that it was left there by his lips last week. Can pick out which ones of your dainty linework tattoos were there before he met you, and which ones have been acquired since.

It’s a quiet intimacy, the way Jungkook looks at you. There’s no towel in the bathroom - an oversight by your tipsy brain when deciding you needed to wash yourself clean of the man in front of you after arriving home from the club - and Jungkook doesn’t care to offer you one. 

Insanity is the product of looking at your body, he thinks. Can’t remember a time he’s ever seen you like this and hasn’t wanted to be inside you. He’s a simple man in pursuit of simple pleasures, and the way you fit him like a glove is the simplest pleasure of them all. 

“Hm?” He questions your lack of a response. 

His deep black eyes are just like the depths of the ocean floor, and it feels like he’s dragging you right down every single time he looks at you like this. Softly. Tenderly. Sweetly. As if he actually gives a shit.

There’s no room for two in this bathroom. It’s not a space designed to be shared, no matter how many times you’ve both squeezed into the shower under far different circumstances - though now you come to think of it, perhaps they weren’t so dissimilar. 

It was always Jungkook’s pursuit of pleasure that put you in that position, just like it put you there tonight.

“Hey,” he says quietly, as you turn to leave, his grip on your waist pulling you between his legs. You don’t look at him. Just keep your head turned to face out of the room - but you make no attempt to leave. Especially when his nose brushes up against the bottom of your ribs right between your breasts, and he husks, “Why are you being like this?”

The softness of his lips as he presses them against your sternum, long lashes splayed across the top of his cheeks, has you spiralling. Kind of feels like he’s twisting a corkscrew through your heart. You know he’ll rip it right out - but maybe you’ll let him, if it means he’ll kiss the wound better.

“Hmm?” He hums. One of your hands rests on his shoulder, the other in his hair, and that’s how Jungkook knows he’s rectified the damage done for a short while. It’s like putting washi tape over holes punched in the walls - useless, and bound to fall off eventually, but ever so pretty in the meantime. Another washi-tape kiss is pressed to your skin, a little higher this time. “We had a good night, didn’t we?”

The tenderness of his voice rewrites the events of the evening. A good night. 

Not one with tears, and jealousy, and arguments that people who claim to be just friends have no business having. A night shared together, perhaps, with no one else to intrude.

Didn’t we?

You so prefer this false chain of events - the one where he left the bar with you, and held your hand in the cab ride back just like he’d done in the cab ride there.

“Is she still here?”

He’s surprised that you’re mentioning it. Half-expected you to act like it never happened. Like she never happened. Is what you usually do, whenever he goes home with someone that isn’t you. 

Still, he just continues to gently stroke your sides. Doesn’t present you with any sort of weakness.

“No.”

“Did you fuck her?”

There’s a little venom to your tone; the poison ivy around your thoughts sprouting now from your throat. 

Her. Some inconsequential girl that neither of you will likely ever see again. Looked nothing like you, but a hell of a lot like his ex. 

“No, Diz,” he softens the sternness of his tone with a name only he calls you. “I didn’t fuck her.”

You’ve no idea if this is a lie or not. 

It’ll be accepted as truth for an hour. Maybe two. Just enough time for you to convince yourself that you’re the one he wants. That he couldn’t bear to fuck anyone else. That he sent her on her way after a kiss or awkward fumble, because he realised no one else could feel as good as you.

You’ll ignore the fact you know he’s here because Jem messaged him. 

You’ll ignore the fact he thinks you’ve been in the shower for over an hour, and has no actual knowledge of the events of it all. 

You’ll ignore the scratch mark on his back, and in the morning you’ll believe it was you who left there even though your nails are bitten right down.

The lies you’ll tell yourself will be far more grand than the ones Jungkook ever tells you. Nobody can ever hurt you quite like you hurt yourself.

And so, against your better judgement, you let him follow you to your bed. 

There's a clang as he tosses his rings down into the ceramic dish beside your bed. It's white, and speckled in tiny black dots, and matches the one Jungkook has in his own bedroom. Not really a surprise. He was the one who bought it for you. Before then, he used to just tuck his rings beneath your pillows - but he kept losing them, and he found it annoying having to rummage around for them whenever he was trying to make a silent exit so as to not wake you.

You tell yourself that small things like this are Jungkook's way of integrating himself into your life; creating permanence. In reality, it's just something that makes it easier for him to leave.

Leaving is the last thing on your mind right now, though, and it will be until he comes.

It used to be different. He used to stay. You convince yourself each and every time that he’ll do what he used to do before things got so confusing. That he’ll stay, and that things will be okay.

You let him kiss your skin, but he’ll never kiss your lips. Let him lay claim to your body, even though you know he’ll never lay claim to your soul. 

It’s nice to pretend.

Nice, when he lays you down and rids himself of his shirt. Nice, when he presses your legs apart, and looks at you like you’re the first woman he’s ever laid eyes upon. Nice, when he says shit like, “Such a nice cunt,” and “Let me make you feel good.”

So nice, when he strokes up and down your inner thigh, eyes trained on your pussy. 

So, so nice when he slowly drips a little spit between his pursed lips and watches as it trails down your folds. 

So fucking nice, when he spreads you with his index and middle finger, groaning at the sight of you.

See, Jungkook can be nice. Can be honest. Can tell you how much he wants you, and you can believe him without having to do mental gymnastics over it all.

As he sinks his middle finger into you - “Shit. So wet for me, aren’t you?” - Jungkook is on his best behaviour. He’ll make you feel so good that you’ll forget he ever made you feel bad, cause he needs this. Needs you. 

Not in the life-debilitating, earth-shattering, universe-bending way that you need him, but in a way that isn’t too dissimilar. 

You’re his best friend. He loves you in his own, curious way. Would lay his life on the line for you. Just can’t seem to keep his dick in his pants for no other reason than selfish gluttony. 

It’s his fatal flaw, but he just thinks everyone has them. That most people are like this.

Of the seven deadly sins, Jungkook wields them all. Too proud to admit his wrongdoings. Greedy in his need to have everything life can offer, and how he refuses to limit himself to just you. His lust and gluttony go hand in hand - yet whenever any one else with similar predispositions look in your direction, he turns green with envy. Green, until he’s red, wrath taking hold. 

But he’s lazy, too. Far too settled in how easy it is to have his way with you. Why would he try harder when you never make him?

That’s your cardinal sin: desperation. 

It reeks. Spiced vanilla and black cherry. Tarnishes your skin, until Jungkook licks it from you.

And so as his lips press down your legs, wet and wanting, you don’t object. In fact, you don’t really do anything. You just allow it to happen.

Because you are desperate - for him, his approval, his desire. His heart.

You’ll never get it, mind you, for his heart is hollow. 

Saw every example of what he considered to be true love crackle and crumble until it fell apart. Parents divorced. High-school sweetheart cheated. Love, as you know it, doesn’t exist in Jungkook’s understanding of life. 

You never stood a chance. Not really.

The only times his heart is full is when he steals enough adoration from yours, and cosplays it as his own. Shines it back at you, and tricks you into thinking that maybe he did mean it when he mumbled false declarations into your lips.

But that was three summers ago, now, and Jungkook is a creature of habit. Too stuck in his ways to ever change. Comfortable in this chaos with you.

‘Cause while the other girls are fleeting, and fun, and always very nice, they’re never comfortable. Not like you are. 

“I liked your dress tonight,” he whispers, as he pushes a second finger into you. Pumps them gently, palm skywards, coaxing soft little moans from your lips. Curls them just right, just like he always does.

The affection of such a compliment rids you of the haunting way he’d looked at you earlier that evening. 

Up, down. No smile. Turned away to change the song coming through the aux at pre-drinks. Didn’t look at you again until he was passing out shots for everyone to take. Just nodded towards your necklace - the one his hobbyist silversmith mother made you for Christmas - and asked, “You like it?”

The pendant is small. Embossed with the letters DJ - the name his mother collectively calls you whenever you spend the summer together at his place. The hammered edge of the pendant matches the ring that wraps around your thumb. Another one of her creations, gifted to you by him for your birthday.

“Of course I do,” you’d said. Seemed silly for him to ask. You wear it most days. 

“Good,” he’d nodded, then took his shot and pretended as if he wasn't all too aware that your dress would be attracting good-for-nothing men all night.

See, Jungkook knows you like the necklace. Had just been reminding you of it, and the fact it’s his initial on there with the initial only he calls you. Well, him and his mother. Goes with the territory. 

She’s seen you through your formative years. Only ever sees the good parts, because Jungkook orchestrates it that way.

She doesn’t see the moments like these, when he’s crushed your self esteem and tries to fix it in the most idiotic of ways. 

The necklace pools around the base of your throat as your head tips back into the pillows, his thumb coming to toy with your clit, gently pressing down.

“Shush, Diz,” he smiles, so pleased to see your body responding in the way that it always does. “You’ll get us in trouble.”

God forbid the people you live with - who’ve all heard the arguments after his illicit encounters with randomers, and seen his face of thunder whenever you’re getting ready for first dates - ever figure out you’re fucking. Not like it’s obvious in the slightest. Not why Jem texted Jungkook, instead of checking on you herself.

Biting onto your wrist, you try and stifle the impact of his touch - ‘cause if they do hear, it will be your fault. You’ll be the reason everyone knows your dirty little secrets. You’ll be the one who ruins it all. Not him. Just you. 

He doesn’t mean to condition you in such a way. Doesn’t even really realise he’s doing it.

Nor do you - but your self esteem is shot to shit. You’re good enough to fuck, but not good enough to love, even if Jungkook insists that there’s no one he adores more. It always comes with an add-on of ‘you’re my best friend’, or ‘you wouldn’t wanna date me anyways’.

Maybe he’s right.

But maybe it would have been nice to try.

Shame.

The pace of Jungkook’s fingers pumping into you begins to slow. Leaking around the base of his knuckles, you’re just as wet as you always are with him. Even when the emotional labour of letting him have his way with you feels like a ten tonne weight on your chest, crushing down on your ribs and spoiling you forevermore, your body still wants him. Only him. Always him.

Withdrawing his fingers, Jungkook taps the outer side of your thigh. “On your front for me, Diz. Face down, ass up.”

With anyone else, Jungkook is far more often on the receiving end. It’s a shame, ‘cause his talents go to waste, it’s just what he’s found to be typical of random hook-ups.

He loves pussy. Loves eating it. Loves that you love it, too.

Slow as he spreads your ass with his hands, Jungkook really doesn’t fuck around with wasting time. He dives in without hesitation, burying his tongue between your folds. Cares not for accuracy, nor carefulness. Just wants his tongue all over you.

Your body lurches forward, hands clutching onto the duvet beneath you. He’s always been like this. Hungry. Just as desperate as you so often feel, but better at hiding it than you are.

His tongue laps against you. Sinks into your soaked hole as deep as he can get it. Uses one of his hands to reach around and toy with your clit while he continues to explore somewhere he knows like the back of his hand.

Pulling back a little, Jungkook’s breathing is heavy. You can hear it. Groan, as he grips your ass again. Spanks it softly, then get back to his previous position. Licks a stripe from your clit up to your leaking cunt, then continues. Flicks up against the tight muscle you rarely let him fuck around with.

But you want him to want you. Want him to have you in whichever capacity he so desires. 

You reach back. Tangle a hand in his hair, and encourage him to massage your tight hole with his tongue, like you know he loves to do. 

It’s kinda cute, in a way. He likes doing it, ‘cause he loves the way it feels whenever your tongue toys with his ass. Assumes other people must love it too. Just wants you to feel good. Wants to right his earlier wrongs.

He continues to trace up and down both your holes, stimulating your entire body in the process. Rubs your clit with his fingers, till you're writhing against the sheets, body pressed flat to the cotton as Jungkook begins to fuck his fingers into your again. 

“You gonna cum for me?” He husks, a smile on his wet lips as he watches the tell-tale sign of an orgasm rush over you. Soon, you’ll be looking at him with dizzy eyes once more, and your namesake will make Jungkook feel things he pretends he can’t feel. “That’s it, Diz. All over my fingers. Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl.”

There’s a relief that comes with your orgasm for Jungkook. Hope that you’ll stop being mardy with him. He doesn’t like it when you don’t like him. These days, he keeps making choices that make it hard for you to like him. 

But you always like him - like him so much - in the comedown of a climax.

He doesn’t give you much time to recover. Wants to coax a second orgasm from you while he still can. Pulls you back into position - face down, ass up - and pushes down his sweats. Cock hard, there’s a small damp patch in his boxers from the precum he’s leaked for you. Lines himself up. 

“Let me fuck you,” he begs before he pushes into you.

“Uh-uh,” you full forward a little, preventing him from doing what he so desperately wants to do. Turning to look over your shoulder, you shake your head. “Condom.”

He furrows his brows. Has the audacity to look fucking offended, as if he didn’t bring another girl back to the house you share.

You’re stupid, and you’re desperate, and you make all the wrong choices, but you aren’t naive. Not really. Your delusions and denial are always elevated away from reality, of which you like to think you have a firm grip on.

And so you simply say, “Don’t believe you didn’t fuck her.”

He doesn’t deny it. Shakes his head, not that you can see it. Just reaches to the shelf above your bed, and gets one from the pot you keep them tucked away in. Rarely ever use them. It’s a novelty, more than not, when you use them. Something to make him last a little longer.

It’s different today.

Today, it’s because you don’t know if his cock is fucking clean or not.

It should crush you, but it doesn’t. 

Just a fact of life. Jungkook fucked someone else less than three hours ago. Came, probably. For someone else. Over someone else. Inside someone else. 

But that desperation of yours is back once more. You want to be the reason why Jungkook loses his mind in temporary bliss. To be better. To be his last memory of the evening.

And so as Jungkook rolls the condom down his thick shaft, you position yourself perfectly for him. Whimper as the tip of his cock kisses your entrance. Whine, as he pushes inside you. 

“That’s it,” he husks, gripping your ass cheeks to spread them nice and wide. Looking down to where your bodies meet, Jungkook is reminded of why he enjoys you so much. No one takes him so well. No one. He knows this. Doesn’t know why the fuck he ever feels the need to seek out anyone else. They’re never as good as this. “Fuck. That’s it, baby.”

Your hips roll back, ass bouncing in that hypnotic way he always swears will ruin him. His grip loosens to let you do the hard work, one of his hands stroking up your spine until it’s resting around the base of your throat. 

Taking back a little control, he keeps your head pushed into the pillows. Grunts. “Take this cock so fuckin’ well, don’t you?”

The mumble you moan into the sheets isn’t enough for him. He always does this. Asserts control and then realises he actually kinda fuckin’ hates it. Fingers still wrapped around the base of your neck, Jungkook pulls you up.

Chest pressed to your back, Jungkook wastes no time locking you in place with an arm around the front of your waist. His cock continues to pump upwards into you, the movements a little subdued but by no means lacking. 

The ridge of his thick head rubs up against your sweet spot. Gets you so fucking needy. Has your hand dipping to your clit to match the pressure.

And when you do? Oh, it’s heaven. You can’t help but whine - so Jungkook uses the hand that isn't on your waist to cover your mouth.

“You only get to cum if you’re quiet,” he tells you. “Be quiet for me, baby.”

But his hips are erratic. The sounds are lewd; skin on skin. It’s wet. Disgusting. Needy. Him, just as much as you. Sweat blossoms on his skin, keeping you both in this clammy haze of hedonism. 

Catching his lips on your ear, Jungkook doesn’t care if he isn’t supposed to let kisses linger so close to your lips. Tongue wet, he intrudes. Licks the shell of your ear. Grazes his teeth on your lobe. Whispers, “You looked so pretty tonight,” then drags his tongue across your ear. 

Cares not for precision nor accuracy, just the fact that this is an area of the body he doesn’t often explore, and that maybe he should do it more often, given how tightly your pussy is clamping around him.

There’s something about it - the obstruction of one of your senses likely to blame, sound distorted whenever his tongue licks against it - that makes you whine. 

You can’t even really do that now. Are too muffled beneath his hand - until he pushes the two fingers that had been inside your pussy earlier into your mouth. 

The taste is just the same as it always is whenever he does shit like this. Loves having you taste yourself. Experiencing what he experiences. Wants you to know exactly why he’s incapable of letting you go.

“Slutty little mouth,” he smirks against your ear. “Gonna finish in it.”

“Mhhm?” you mumble against the fingers you’re keeping wet and warm for him.

“Mhmm,” he replies. Presses a kiss to your temple, ‘cause he isn’t really thinking straight. Groans when your cunt clenches from the touch. “God, you want it, don’t you? Want it so bad. Wanna swallow my cum.”

Of course you do. You’ll take what he’ll give you. 

Your mumble around his fingers isn’t enough. He wants to hear you say it. Frees your mouth of himself. Grips your chin between his forefinger and thumb. Turns you to face further over your shoulder.

He’s just gonna make you say it. Just make you say something lewd to get him a little closer. Just… Just gonna… Just...- Oh, fuck it. Your lips are just there, and they’re wet, and they’re pouty and - God, forgive me - perfect for him.  

His eyes flitter between your eyes and your lips. Is aware you’re doing the same. 

“Kook,” you whisper, as if you’re about to reprimand him.

“Please,” he begs. Thinks he needs this just as much as you do. Maybe even more so.

And so somewhere between the overwhelming acknowledgement that this is a catastrophic chain of events, and the promise of a happy ending (of which you know damn well will never reach fruition), you let him sink his lips into yours.

You’re pretty in war, and even prettier in defeat. 

Jungkook thinks you’re prettiest when you’re all his. 

You think that to be his is to accept an eternal loss. 

The breath of his nose is heavy against your cheek as his lips press into yours, brows furrowed. The need for you to be lewd is abandoned, ‘cause Jungkook doesn’t even think he’ll last long enough for it. Thinks that nothing gets him closer than the flavour of your lips. 

Hips still jerking up, the sound of his skin hitting your ass echoing around the room, Jungkook fucks himself into you until he can do it no longer. Pulls away. Rips off his condom. Tosses it to the floor. Gets you face down again. Wanks himself to the point of coming undone, hot spurts of cum dripping onto your ass and spilling down to the valley of your spine.

He’s the one moaning now, your body defiled by a boy who you wish would paint you in pretty compliments instead. Still, this is a compliment. Kind of. You’re hot enough to make him cum. That’s nice, you suppose.

“Shit,” he chokes out, breathing all out of sync, heartbeat far too rapid. A light spank is tapped against your ass, then softly stroked. He soothes. Aloe on sunburn. Milk with hot sauce. Pretty kisses in the comedown of a rough fuck. 

You won’t get those. Wasn’t a particularly rough fuck, either - and yet it hurts so much when he gets up to leave.

It’s awkward. He doesn’t really say bye. Doesn’t acknowledge the fact he stoked a fire inside you that burned you from the inside out. Ignores the ashes that are scattered around your vessel, as if your soul has been ejected from its home. 

He’s warm, when you look at him. That little part of your heart has been stolen once more. He’s just feeding it back to you.

“Sorry,” he says, a hand on your doorknob. “I shouldn’t- I mean, we shouldn’t-”

“It’s fine,” you offer.

That’s the thing about Jungkook. He’ll give you the world, then realise it was never his to give. Always has to ask for it back. You’ve lost count of how many times he’s fucked you, then acted as if was foolish - only to repeat the same mistakes the next evening.

It’s what he’s always done, and is what he’ll always do.

You’ll never learn. 

The shirt you chuck on to head downstairs the next morning is his. 

Far too big for you, it finishes around your thighs. Television blaring in the room beneath you, it’s obvious your housemates are awake, and even as you’re trudging down the stairs, you’re not quite sure you’re alive.

The headache of an overbearing hangover is threatening your life. You’re certain of it. The fact your housemates have the television set to what must be the maximum volume? Only further sending you to an early grave. 

And yet when you see Jungkook sitting by the breakfast bar, hair in all different directions, a bowl of cereal in front of him, and smiling in the direction of whomever else is in the room, you find yourself smiling, too. 

“Morning,” you say pleasantly as you walk into the kitchen, ready to flop your forehead down on Jungkook’s shoulder like you so often do.

Ready, until you notice the look in his eyes when he turns to face you.

Ready, until you glance in the direction of his previous smile.

Ready, until you see the girl who looks a lot like his ex-girlfriend and absolutely nothing like you leaning on the other side of the counter. Mug from your trip to Amsterdam together in her hands, and the shirt you got him for his birthday covering her body, she smiles.

You’re drowning.

“Oh,” you say, not looking at him. Only her. “I didn’t realise we had company.”

“Is she still here?”

“No.”

She’s awkward as she nods. “Sorry, hey. I crashed here last night - hope you don’t mind? It’s just you know what it’s like getting an uber at that time-”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nod. Smile. Jungkook thinks you look pretty - but of course he does. You look defeated. “Totally.”

“Did you fuck her?

“No, Diz. I didn't fuck her.”

“Jungkook said you were feeling unwell last night?” She tries to make conversation. She needn’t. You feel far more unwell now than you ever did last night - and that’s before you notice the pretty purple bruise forming on her neck. “How are you feeling now?”

Her care is kind. Considerate. Wholly wasted on you because you’re gonna lie, and say that you’re fine, even though it feels as if your lungs have been filled with venom spat by a lover who is incapable of loving.

Still, you don’t look at Jungkook. Just make your excuses. Leave.

And even though he knows that he should, Jungkook doesn’t chase after you. 

He lets you go, because he knows you’ll always come back. You always do.

But if you don't?

Well, he’ll go back to you, and you’ll let him. Again, you always do.

From the kitchen, Jungkook can hear your showering starting up. Appetite lost, he isn’t listening to the girl in front of him. Isn’t even really sure of her name.

All that he’s sure of is that the fall out of this is not gonna be pretty.

#jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook ff #jk ff #jungkook masterlist #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook smut #bts fanfic #byholly #angst #smut #jungkook x y/n #fuckboy!jungkook #college!jungkook #college au

[bangtanficsforyou]

They Reject You (maknae line)-03

Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: swear words here and there.

Word count: 20K (approx)

A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).

Park Jimin

Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless. 

How exactly does he make things right?

If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.

He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again. 

The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you? 

It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.

However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers. 

Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.

Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.

It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.

Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.  

Huh? 

But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.

At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung. 

Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang. 

Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."

Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."

"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"

"Y/N."

"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?" 

Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"

Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."

Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep. 

Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep. 

"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung. 

And then just keeps staring. 

Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop. 

When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit. 

"You're so in love."

Or maybe wait. 

Jimin doesn't laugh. 

Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."

"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."

Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love. 

Huh. 

"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?" 

Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."

Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"

"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"

"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence. 

"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk." 

Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind. 

Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not." 

Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."

For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is. 

Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on. 

"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be." 

Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so. 

It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up. 

Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely. 

What the fuck.

Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet. 

He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet. 

"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:

"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?

You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something." 

Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere. 

But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell. 

He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch. 

The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door. 

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case. 

Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep. 

Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it. 

It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought. 

The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off. 

Well, guess he did run away, after all. 

You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment. 

"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table. 

However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top. 

With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right. 

The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation." 

The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."

There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time. 

One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.

"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”

Huh. 

Is...Is Jimin apologising? 

No way. 

After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on. 

Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west. 

You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone. 

You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in. 

Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner. 

But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do. 

Things are pretty clear in your head. 

You forgive Jimin. 

You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were. 

You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable. 

But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go. 

It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless. 

That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities. 

You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself. 

Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that. 

The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on. 

So what is Jimin to you, now? 

Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again. 

And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice. 

Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it. 

For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet. 

For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read: 

I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.

It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands. 

You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet. 

Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day. 

Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone. 

Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact. 

You: hey

You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore 

You: I forgive you

Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.

"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me" 

"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"

"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"

Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages." 

When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy. 

"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears. 

However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"

"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me." 

Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."

Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."

Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing. 

Jimin: Thank you

Wait. 

Thank you?

Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough? 

He doesn't think so. 

Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response. 

If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual. 

He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one. 

Geez, texting is difficult. 

What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously. 

Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once? 

Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again? 

That might be too much. 

But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that. 

Jimin: Thank you.

Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got 

Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice. 

When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way. 

But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense. 

You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that. 

The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.

Jimin: How have you been? 

Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.

Guess, you need to break it to him. 

You: I've been fine 

You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were 

Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text. 

You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore 

You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂

You: especially me.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad. 

It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same. 

But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages. 

Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen. 

Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying. 

Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.

But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung. 

This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.

It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet. 

Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes. 

Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off. 

He has had enough. 

Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on. 

This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid." 

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good. 

Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?" 

This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going." 

"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"

Ah. Drama queen, it is. 

"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words. 

Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.

Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky. 

Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."

Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands. 

With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats. 

"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself.  "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?" 

Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."

Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?" 

"I don't think it matters."

"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"

Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."

Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"

Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding. 

"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?" 

The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses. 

Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?" 

Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.

He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."

Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer. 

"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."

"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."

Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done. 

"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?" 

"I must have," Jimin agrees. 

"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?" 

Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.  

"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life." 

"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes. 

Jimin nods. 

Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through." 

—-------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.

Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive. 

A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face. 

Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door. 

It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge. 

Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer. 

He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you. 

"And you must be Y/N?" 

You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"

"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."

Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name. 

"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you? 

He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."

You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?" 

"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this. 

"From Jimin?" 

"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."

You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.

"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head. 

You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.

"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin? 

"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."

And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken. 

You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again? 

He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party. 

Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't. 

He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon. 

The universe, however, has other plans. 

Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't. 

It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class. 

But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is. 

However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is. 

Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion. 

For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd. 

He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you. 

He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung. 

The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.

"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard. 

"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice. 

"How have you been?" 

Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him. 

However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine." 

Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question. 

"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat. 

His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours. 

You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet. 

You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air. 

Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left. 

Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction. 

"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving. 

"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.

"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.

Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.  

A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man. 

However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down. 

"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."

Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again. 

"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."

Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected. 

"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."

You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you? 

"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words. 

"Let me take you out on a date." 

Kim Taehyung

I'm in a relationship.

You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again. 

Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well. 

How do you feel about it, exactly? 

You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling. 

That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long. 

Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do. 

You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.

It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to. 

"Y/N!"

You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?" 

"You zoned out again."

"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"

"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."

If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy. 

You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words." 

"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."

Oh yeah, it's been a week.

Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response. 

You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.

Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other. 

A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly. 

"See! Not good for you."

You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature. 

—-----------

"How are you?"

You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Idk man, 7?"

"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"

"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety. 

She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."

Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them. 

She's protective of you, incredibly so. 

When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant. 

On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.

With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city. 

"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy." 

Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."

"He is nice," you say a little more firmly. 

"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"

To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?" 

You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."

"Hah! So you agree on something with me."

"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."

"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N." 

Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt. 

And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."

"But he did hurt you!!!"

"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."

"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."

"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."

She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."

"We will see," you chuckle.

You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly. 

—————————————————————

You: hey 

It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today. 

Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung. 

Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋

A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.  

You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be. 

You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner

Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.

Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!

Tae 🐻: work can get busy 

Tae 🐻: it's fine! 

Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it. 

You: uhmm thanks 

You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?

Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead. 

Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.

You:  i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol

You: this is so awkward

Tae 🐻: just say it

Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all

Some of your anxiety softens at his words. 

You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂

Tae 🐻: that's okay

Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts? 

Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing. 

You: that'd be great! 

You: thank you! 

Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌

You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?

Tae 🐻: done 👍

Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say. 

It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing. 

You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days. 

You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else. 

You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood. 

You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you. 

You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out. 

You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that. 

Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour. 

You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return. 

You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid. 

You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me. 

You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status 

You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important. 

You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.

You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf. 

You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud. 

To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that. 

You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.

You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂

There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later? 

However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask. 

When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question. 

It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts. 

But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now. 

Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung. 

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch. 

Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them. 

So you'll have to wait. 

It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say. 

You only hope you can get over this soon. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet. 

You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say. 

You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't. 

Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.

There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend. 

But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.

Penny: Has he replied yet? 

You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.

You: no 

You: not yet 

Penny: huh told you

Penny: he's a dick 

You smile and shake your head.

Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.

Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas. 

Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one. 

Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.

Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry. 

Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest. 

Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless. 

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message. 

Tae 🐻: say something

Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅

Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease. 

You: i appreciate you being honest with me 

You: I'll reply properly in a while 

You: just let me have a good cry first 

The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are. 

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

Tae 🐻: are you okay?

You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.

You let your tears flow as you cry silently.

It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant. 

It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else. 

What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself. 

It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well. 

With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view. 

In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.

His love for you was shallow. 

You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends? 

That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through. 

With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.

One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising. 

You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders. 

"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining. 

Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.

"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."

You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"

"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."

She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug. 

"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."

As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?

As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open. 

It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship. 

However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.

There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him. 

Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.

"Y/N?" 

The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit. 

"The bus is here, Y/N."

Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way. 

When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans. 

You: I'm so sorry

You: i called you by mistake

You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily. 

All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant. 

The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach. 

"Y/N, drinks?"

Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.

Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact. 

One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung. 

Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk. 

The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.

"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.

The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats. 

You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.

You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous. 

But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.

Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive. 

"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"

It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb. 

"Surprisingly, no."

She hums. "Wanna talk about it?" 

Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.

Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once. 

When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."

You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.

"Do you plan on being friends with him?" 

You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.

"I do," your reply is instantaneous. 

"Don't you feel angry?"

"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not. 

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?

"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."

"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?" 

She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"

You nod. 

She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."

—--------------------------------------------------------

You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages. 

Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂

Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.

Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.

You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you 

Tae 🐻: lmao 

Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes

You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult. 

You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to. 

Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you

You: uh oh

You: go on

Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date 

Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈

Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean

You very well know what he means.

Your stomach sinks in disappointment.

It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you. 

Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once. 

He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.

Tae 🐻: Y/N? 

The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time. 

You: nice

Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.

You: let me tell you about yesterday

You: we went back to Kate's place 

You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape 

You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling

You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.

Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂 

A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks? 

Wow.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once. 

A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'. 

You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite. 

With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung. 

One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.

There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier. 

Tae 🐻: Y/N

Tae 🐻: I messed up. 

The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses. 

Is he okay? 

You: what happened? 

Tae 🐻: i messed up 

Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed

You: can you stop being vague? 

Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS 

You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming. 

Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long. 

You: so?

Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan 

Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs

Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her

Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing

Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters. 

So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.

You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year. 

However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.

He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether. 

When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year. 

The words make you smile.

Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.

Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.

I have never met someone like you, ever. 

Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling. 

You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.

Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done. 

It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday. 

A link to a YouTube video.

Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart. 

You leave him on seen.

A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope 

It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday. 

That's your last straw.

It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.

Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours. 

You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.  

Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly. 

It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through.  The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that. 

Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.

You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.

It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore. 

You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him. 

But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him. 

One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love. 

A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.

You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen. 

But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy? 

You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied. 

Hello Taehyung, 

I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.

When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen. 

And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too. 

I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself. 

Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.

You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense. 

It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable. 

Instead of feeling the satisfaction of  being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once. 

After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.

You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.

When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too. 

But that was it. 

We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?

What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.

I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play. 

I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it? 

It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it. 

Or so you said. 

I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.

First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend. 

Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage. 

Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.

Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.

Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later. 

These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about. 

As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people. 

But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.

If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible. 

But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought. 

When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.

But this friendship of ours has run its course.

I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both. 

If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you. 

Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime. 

Thank you,

With Love,

The purest form.

Jeon Jungkook

His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”

“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”

Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”

It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.

Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.

“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.

For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear.  But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.

“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”

“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?

“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”

You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.

You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?

Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."

"Why?" 

His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."

You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day. 

Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done. 

"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence. 

"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown. 

"That can't be true."

You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you. 

"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out." 

Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing. 

"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."

Well, that's some audacity. 

In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes. 

"You better shut your mouth, Jeon." 

Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.

"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm 

He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.

"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface. 

"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"

He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?

"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find. 

Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."

You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?

You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.

When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."

You don't reply, your insides fuming.

"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."

"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."

Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things. 

Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.

—-----------------------------------------------------

Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for. 

It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him. 

You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate? 

On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.

But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be. 

Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.

You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry. 

If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to. 

If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed. 

The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."

"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile. 

"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat. 

"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."

He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?" 

"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone. 

Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon. 

"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence. 

You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words. 

"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude. 

However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?" 

"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.

He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry. 

"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."

You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted. 

Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you? 

You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say. 

Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"

You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."

He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?

The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"

Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless. 

"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."

The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.

"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."

Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."

Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips. 

"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."

He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine. 

"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up. 

Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless. 

"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."

You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way. 

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."

"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."

His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that. 

"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late." 

He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."

You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now. 

"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything." 

Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights. 

You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next. 

There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back. 

Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook. 

He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way. 

"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way." 

"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with. 

You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing  you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it. 

On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses. 

"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."

Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him. 

Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?" 

"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.

Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically. 

Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him. 

He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself. 

The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two. 

You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.

You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms. 

Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance. 

You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling. 

One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet. 

That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again? 

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it. 

"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."

Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words. 

"I'll try."

You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.

"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."

You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession. 

Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods. 

You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you? 

"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside. 

"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes. 

Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings? 

"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it. 

But of course, he doesn't. 

He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter." 

"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place. 

Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."

"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"

He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."

"You'll never know until you ask for it." 

He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it. 

"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have. 

Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around. 

"When does this fake relationship of yours end?" 

"A month from now."

You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."

Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room. 

—-----------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS LATER

"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."

Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."

"Don't test my limits."

A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."

You sigh in both astonishment and in love. 

How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.

No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook. 

The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook. 

The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can. 

The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.

That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.  

That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.

Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined. 

A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other. 

You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible. 

Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you. 

"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."

You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"

"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."

As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be. 

"Will you stay still if I kiss you?" 

"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer." 

So you do. 

Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair. 

When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?" 

Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."

You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has. 

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.

That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

#BTS FF #Bts au #BTS reactions #bts ot7 #Ot7 reactions #Maknae line #BTS angst #BTS fic #BTS unrequited au #Jimin angst #Jimin FF #Jimin au #Fuckboi Jimin #Jimin scenarios #Taehyung angst #Taehyung au #Taehyung scenarios #taehyung reaction #Jimin reaction #Jungkook au #Jungkook FF #Jungkook angst #Jungkook scenario #jungkook x reader #Jungkook reaction #Idol Jungkook #Jimin x Reader #Taehyung x reader

[larvamars]

drawing him again is like going back to your toxic ex

full

#full on patreon #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #fuckboy!leon #au #resident evil #re4 fanart #re4 leon #re4 remake #re4make #re4 #resident evil 4 #art #digital art #artwork #fan art #fanart

[fishfingersandscarves]

some sandman doodles

#my art #fishfingersandscarves #the sandman #the sandman netflix #doodles #dream of the endless #dream (the sandman) #hob gadling #robert gadling #lucienne the librarian #lucienne (the sandman) #fuckboi hob my beloved #also 711 au #for my girlie hanna

[mizusnose]

Have any CollegeAu! Headcanons for Mizu? General or Romantic! I'm just curious 👁👁

okay!!! this might be an unpopular opinion but: college fuckboy!mizu…

for ultimate brainrot, Limbo by Freddie Dredd on repeat ☺️

NSFW

Is known around campus as the fuckboy despite being a woman. Is exclusively nicknamed the mean hot butch by all the lesbians on campus.

Despite having this reputation, a lot of women cant get enough of her. Has someone over almost every weekend—minus the ones she isn’t away visiting and training with swordfather.

Is on the collegiate fencing team. Strong, lean, and when she takes off her face guard, her sweaty jaw and neck always fluster her rival Taigen whenever they’re dueling.

Smokes weed—a lot. Can handle herself and usually hits her pen as she’s studying or while she fucks her dates. Isn’t entirely dependent on it, since it’s an alternative to cigarettes but yeah.

Is messy. Every time she invites a girl over, doesn’t bother to clean up and just pushes her pile of laundry off her bed before she eats out the lucky girl who gets to brag about Mizu’s tongue game.

Doesn’t let her flings stay the night. Will give amazing after care, but as soon as that’s over, she’s directing you to the door.

Kissing is allowed but only during sex—this is a strict rule for her. Doesn’t want any soft stuff. Would rather make out messily and get the girl off with her mouth instead of kissing anyone soft.

Is into biting. Like, will mark up girls and leave her bite marks on the inside of their thighs and their shoulders and wrists.

Is exclusively rough in bed. Doesn’t really have slow sensual sex unless she’s high beforehand.

Doesn’t know how to handle emotions—would rather fuck them out of her system instead.

That being said, she doesn’t take kindly to confessions. Rolls her eyes, mean and oh so hot as she tells anyone who “loves her” that I’m just the best you’ve ever had. That’s not love baby, that’s lust.

Has tats. Up high on her ribs and around her left hip. She got them to hide the scars she got from training when she was younger.

Has awful music taste and only listens to rap or trap music. Taigen calls her a degenerate and they wrestle on the ground—he catches feelings too. Mizu has to reject him.

okay okay okay. i feel like there’s potential for mizu to be fucking mean and awful—especially since that’s how she is in the beginning of the first season so…this was born.

can imagine her getting her act together later on to start impressing reader or akemi, you can choose.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x reader #mizu x akemi #akemi blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #college au #alternate universe #headcanons #fuckboy!mizu #I listened to limbo on repeat for hours and this was born #sorry not sorry but also sorryyyy

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Send Nudes

Moodboard made by me

Pairing || Fuckboy!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary || Bucky took it literally when you told him to take your nudes himself, so he arrived a few minutes later.

Text messages; Bucky || Reader

Word Count || 1271

Contents & Warnings || Smut, Mild Angst — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, explicit content/language, pet names (babe, baby, baby girl), taking nudes, oral (female receiving), teasing, sex denial, mention of bodily fluids.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

AU!Bucky Masterlist

I don’t do taglists anymore so please follow @bucky-barnes-diaries-library and turn on notifications to never miss out on my writing!

Your phone pinged with a message, making you put down the laundry you were folding so you could answer, but when you saw who it was, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

From: Don’t even think about it 🍆

You knew you shouldn’t answer. He was honestly not worth it—playing and toying with your feelings like the fuckboy and player he was, but he always gave it to you so fucking good every single time.

He had such a charm about himself that he always managed to ensnare you in his trap with pretty and special words, making you fall all over his dick, then he ghosted you for weeks until he reappeared in your DM’s a while later, and you always succumbed to it.

Hi baby girl 😘

Hey ☺️

Whatcha doin?

Folding laundry wbu?

Just think about you 😈

Yea? Such as?

How fuckin pretty and beautiful u are 🥵 How fuckin crazy u make me 😩

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes once more at his empty words and confessions. It was all a game—a well-thought-of play to get into your panties, and it was sad to admit, but it was working; you always fell for it—a never-ending cycle.

Mhm 😙

Send me a pic of your face? I’ve missed you!

You might as well. You took a quick pic, giving him your most appetising smile and a hint of your cleavage in the low crop top you wore.

Shit babe 🤤 so fuckin gorgeous! Send some more? Send nudes baby please 😩 u drive me crazy 🤪

“Ugh, really?!”

You don’t know why now, of all things, after he requested nudes, a light went on in your head—finally realising that he was not worth it at all and that you would never get anything good out of this toxic “relationship”. It would only bring heartbreak, complications and confusion.

All he did was request and demand without giving anything valuable in return. You were so done with that. Fuck him!

Ugh 🙄 take them yourself 😡 Bye!

You tossed your phone to the side and ignored the remaining messages that pinged one after another.

It didn’t cross your mind that the reply could have a totally different meaning to him than what you had intended…

10 minutes later

There was a loud knock on your front door, followed by the doorbell ringing four times in a row. You groaned in annoyance at whoever was so rude to come to your house like that—so demanding.

You put on some shorts and went to answer whoever it was.

When you opened the door, he was there—panting and heaving as he held up the last message you sent him.

“I’m here, baby girl.”

“Oh, Bucky.” He thought you were being serious in your text.

He just stood there, waiting for you to invite him in so you could get to it. You checked him out as he stood in your opening. You chewed on your bottom lip as you cocked your head to the side, your hip in the other direction.

God, he did look fucking good. You can’t deny that your heart and pussy skipped a beat as you took in his muscular arms in the white Wife Beater. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat, making his toned body look more defined. He was so yummy.

Since he was already here, so willing and eager, you may as well toy and play with him since he always played you. You were going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Grabbing his collar, you pulled him into your narrow hallway and closed the door behind you. A cocky smirk was plastered on his stupid and pretty face. You bat your eyelashes at him and bite your bottom lip, making him lick his own as you get up in his face.

“You want it, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded eagerly.

“Well then…”

He watched you with wide and desiring eyes, mouth slightly parted, as you slowly removed your shorts and panties, sliding them down your legs as you moved your hips sensually. With your back to one wall, you hoisted one foot on the opposite, exposing your naked pussy to him.

“… get to it.”

“Fucking shit, baby.”

He got down on his knees till he was level with your core, in absolute awe at the sight as he cursed under his breath. You saw his fingers twitching, wanting to touch you, but there could be none of that.

“Only look, no touching.”

He groaned out at your denial, not happy with it, but respected your wishes—loving the game you were playing.

With his phone pointed to your wet core, he took pictures, complimenting you with each snap.

“Such a pretty pussy, baby, my God.”

“So fucking wet for me.”

“You’re so fucking sexy; you know that?”

You combed your fingers through his hair as he snapped your pics—becoming so needy and aroused with each word he uttered. You would make him worship this pussy—it’s what you deserve after how he’s treated you the last few months.

Fisting your fingers in his hair, you moved him closer to your aching core.

“Eat me out, make me feel good. Show me how much your words mean, Bucky.”

He groaned at your lewd words and licked your folds in broad strokes as you’d desired. He moaned as he got your taste on his tongue, the vibrations making you shudder against the wall. He raised his hands, wanting to touch and knead your soft skin, but you swatted them away.

“Nuh-uh, keep your hands down. I only need your mouth.”

He groaned out once more and closed his eyes to concentrate fully on you—sucking and licking the entirety of your pussy.

Your other hand gripped his hair as well, keeping him in place, as you rocked into his assaults on you, closing your eyes in bliss as your orgasm builds.

“Fuck,” your breathing hitched in your throat, “oh, just like that baby,” you mewl in pleasure.

Your head smacked against the surface behind you while your eyes shut tight. You cried out as you came hard on his tongue. Your knees weakened as you convulsed against the wall at the intense orgasm.

“O-oh, baby.”

You pet his hair while he lapped you up, savouring your flavour, moaning at the taste.

“You drive me insane; you know that, baby girl?”

“Mhm.” You had the biggest smirk on your face. You had him exactly where you wanted him, all wrapped around your finger, as you’d been on his so many times before.

He got to his feet, running his hands up your thighs, over your naked hips, and then grabbing your waist, pulling you flush against him.

He leaned in to kiss you, wanting to progress this even further, but you placed your palm on his chest and pushed him away.

“Nuh-uh, I don’t think so, Bucky.”

“What?!” He threw his hands up. “Oh, come on, baby girl, you know I give it to you so fucking good every time.”

He displayed that same cocky smirk on his face as before, leaning in once more to try his luck, but we’re denied again.

“I don’t think so, playboy.”

You pulled up your underwear and shorts before you grabbed his collar and dragged him to the entrance, kicking him out of your house.

“What? Are you serious? Babe, come on.”

“I’m not your, babe. Bye, Bucky.”

As he tried to beg some more, you closed the door on him, chuckling evilly as you walked away.

Now it was your turn to ghost him.

Thank you for reading 🖤 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

#fuckboy!bucky #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fanfiction #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel smut #marvel fanfiction

[buckrecs]

Can i request oneshots about unrequited /onesided love (ending up together or not)? 💗

Unrequited / One sided Love

masterlist | req masterlist

you aren’t nat by @imyourbratzdoll

bucky agrees to date you because natasha is already taken, how long can he pretend before he snaps?

the cure by @bucky-bucket-barnes

You have an unrequited crush on Bucky that leads to a lot of tension in your friendship.

second choice by @lovelybarnes

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart by @buckybabesonly

You finally confess your feelings to Bucky, hoping he might like you back. He turns you down.

friday (i’m in love) by @barnesafterglow

every day you love bucky. every friday he pretends to love you too

Picking Up The Pieces by @gogolucky13

Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not.

what the fuck did you do by @sunmoonandeddie

Bucky’s been using you to try to make Natasha jealous.

All In My Head by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Your perfect boyfriend Bucky just wants to take you dancing, and his sweeping romantic gesture is almost too good to be true.

Say Something by @sweetheartybarnes

You’re in love with your best friend, with the guy you worked so hard to have a friendship with only to find out he’s been dating someone.

Unreciprocated by @altriestowrite

All You Want, the Stars and the Sun by @bucksangel

“Lie to me.” The request is simple, softly spoken into your hair while his lips press themselves to the top of your head. There’s a long pause as you gather yourself enough to push through the inevitable, heart turning heavier with each silent second that passes. “Please.” And, fuck. The quiver in his voice does nothing to hide the clear pain in his soul, and a small teardrop slides down his cheek as you whisper softly. “I love you, Bucky.”

It’s Not The Same by @abovethesmokestacks

"How come I always end up calling you when I can't fall asleep?"

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fic rec #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes series #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x avenger!reader #bff!bucky #fuckboy!bucky #bucky barnes fic

[neonghostlights]

Fuckboy!werewolf!Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Based off my little drabble here.

Warnings: Eddie gets called a man-whore (not by reader), mates, cussing, mention of almost hitting an animal with your car (doesn't happen but almost does), parental and grandparent death (readers whole family is dead) 18+ only, minors dni

Wordcount: 3.9k

Series masterlist

Hawkins was fucking weird. 

You should have taken the hint when you stopped by the lone gas station about an hour before reaching the town and asked the clerk for directions to make sure you were going the right way. He laughed at you like you were joking as soon as the question left your mouth. When he eventually figured out by your blank faced expression that you were indeed dead serious about trying to get to Hawkins, he gave the directions you needed with a quick “good luck with that.” 

You’d be lying if you said his words didn’t make you second guess this move. But now that you had arrived at your destination and mostly settled into your small home at the edge of the town, it just seemed like a normal place. It was a small town with everyone seeming to already know everybody, leaving you the odd man out. Everyone that you had come across so far was mostly kind to you and welcoming considering the circumstances. 

Your aunt used to own the home you had now taken residence in. She passed suddenly, leaving you as the only living descendant to inherit her things. You almost sold it off, but for some reason the town of Hawkins called to you, making you think that maybe it was meant to be. Before you knew it you were packing up your things, quitting your job at a grocery store, and making the sudden and long drive. 

Your new home was a double wide trailer that sat on a secluded piece of land. Your aunt seemed to really like her privacy. There were no other homes for miles. The trees and forest surrounding your expansive yard gave you enough privacy to walk outside naked if you wanted to with no worries of anyone ever seeing you. 

You had never met your aunt before. You had been raised solely by your grandparents since your mother passed and your father wasn’t ever in the picture. 

You knew your aunt suddenly left their home young, leaving your mother and grandparents behind, and never looked back. But you never knew the details behind it. You always thought it was odd when you were younger since you thought your grandparents and mom were the best people ever. But now as an adult you could see how some people needed independence. 

Even if that independence was a secluded house in a small town that literally no one else has ever heard of.  

You stared out the car window at the rain that started last night and never let up. Your windshield wipers squeaked furiously as they rushed back and forth on the highest setting. You were already parked in your work parking lot, preparing yourself for the run you were going to have to make into the building. 

Water sloshed up the legs of your jeans as your rain boots splashed through every puddle that you couldn’t seem to avoid. You were drenched by the time you made it to the door. The bell on the handle dinged at your arrival and you wiped your boots against the mat furiously even though you knew it wouldn’t do any good.

“Hey!” Jessie called as she peeked her head around a shelf. 

You waved in response and made your way behind the counter and threw your bags underneath of it. You had been working at Bee’s Books for a month now and you liked it so far. You were hired on the spot when you came in asking for a job application, the owner was impressed by you and desperate enough to practically throw the job at you. 

It was a large store, surprising for the size town it resided in. You fell for the charm of it and the employee discount you got on all of your book purchases. 

“I thought Tina was working with us today too?” You asked as you snapped your name badge in place over your sweater. 

“She is,” Jessie said as she dropped the stack of books onto the counter. “She’s in the back doing something. You wanna put these up for me in the fantasy section while I put these in young adult?”

You nodded, picking up the stack of books and making your way to their designated section. The stack was thick and heavy, already making your arm ache only seconds after picking them up. You set your chin on top of it to better hold it in place as you walked through the rows of shelves. 

Jessie and Tina were nice and all, but you had a feeling Jessie liked to dictate jobs at you that she didn’t feel like doing. You already guessed that she would probably be up at the counter giggling with Tina instead of putting away the other stack of books like she said she would. 

It was hard being new in a town where the people all grew up together. You felt like an outsider, like everyone was being nice to your face and then whispering behind your back as you walked past. You wondered if part of that was because your aunt was eccentric. 

You slowly shoved the books into their designated spots on the shelf, not rushing to get back up to the front. If you were honest, you would live in a book store if you could. When you were young your mom used to bring you to the library that was down the street from your grandparents house every saturday. You would both spend hours flipping through the fantasy section with not a care in the world. 

After she died, those visits to the library became more lonely but you still did it because you enjoyed it so much. 

You heard the bell ding from the front door and the chatter between the two girls up front stop suddenly. 

The hair on the back of your neck started to rise and a chill broke out on your arms. 

You blamed your clothes still wet from the rain. You rolled your shoulders back, trying to calm your sudden chill before reaching for another book from the stack cradled in your left arm. 

You could hear the sound of wet sneakers against the carpeted floors approaching, along with the sound of enthusiastic chattering. You couldn’t hear Tina and Jessie up front anymore and you assumed it was because they were off helping customers. 

The sound of whoever was approaching got closer and you turned and faced the shelf again, hoping they wouldn’t need anything from you. You weren’t the best at the customer interaction side of this job and would rather hide behind the shelves than talk to someone. 

 You heard the sound of the walking stop but the chattering of a younger voice kept going in a one sided conversation. 

You glanced up, offering a polite smile. A teenager stood there, looking no older than fifteen. He had curly hair with a round face and dimples. He spoke enthusiastically to the person standing beside him, not caring that he was being ignored. 

You looked over to the person he was with to see his eyes were already on you. He had long brown hair and dark eyes that reminded you of melted chocolate. His skin was pale but you could just barely make out the light dusting of freckles across his nose if you focused as hard as you were right now. 

He dressed in all black, from his leather jacket to his shirt, jeans and thick boots. His hands were decorated with chunky metal rings that reminded you of costume jewelry. He let out a woosh of air from his lungs as he reached out to the wooden shelf beside him. The rings thudded against the wood as he grasped it so tightly that you thought it might splinter. He wobbled slightly, almost as if he was drunk. 

His full lips were slightly parted as he kept staring at you. 

You wished you could set down the stack of books somewhere so you could rub your arms in an attempt to fight the goosebumps plaguing up and down your skin. 

The boy beside him stopped talking, looking up at his friend with confusion. 

“Eddie? What’s wrong?” The boy asked with concern, nudging his friend's arm. 

Eddie, which was apparently his name, didn’t react to his friend's touch. He continued staring at you with a look you couldn’t decipher and it made the goosebumps spread across your skin with a vengeance. 

“Are you okay?” You asked him, wondering if you should yell for Tina or Jessie to call an ambulance. 

He blinked a few times at the sound of your voice, seeming to have been pulled from whatever trance he was in. 

His friend tugged on his arm. “Eddie?” 

He pried his eyes away from yours to look at his boy. He released his tight grip on the shelf and you realized his full body was trembling. You wondered if he was cold too. 

He didn’t say anything as he quickly turned and rushed away from you, leaving his friend behind. 

The boy let out a small, “oh.” as he stared at you with a wide eyed look. The look of shock didn’t last long before his open mouth spread into a smug looking wide smile. His face changing from shock to joy in a heartbeat. 

“Sorry about that,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. 

He backed away slowly, still with a smile on his face while you stared at him in confusion. 

“It was very nice to meet you. I’m Dustin,” he said before turning around and running in the same direction as Eddie. 

You blinked a few times, trying to process what the hell just happened. Your eyes met with Tina’s who was peeking around the shelf with an annoyed look on her face. She rolled her eyes and made her way back to the front. 

“What the hell?” you said out loud, talking to only the books. Confused on what had just happened in the past few minutes. 

You put the rest of the books away, heading to the front of the store to see if Tina and Jessie needed help with anything. 

They were huddled beside each other at the counter, leaned close and whispering frantically in hushed tones. Tina’s hands were waving in the air. You wondered what had happened to piss her off. 

They didn’t look up until you were behind the counter and grabbing more books to put away. You noticed them sharing a look with eachother out of the corner of your eyes before Jessie turned towards you. 

“Hey. What did Eddie Munson say to you back there?” Jessie asked, her voice going higher in false politeness. It reminded you of the customer service tone she used when a customer was asking too many questions or messing up a perfectly designed display. 

“Uh, nothing?” You shrugged while stacking the books onto the cart. There was no way you were carrying all of these this time. 

“Well, it looked like something happened,” Tina snapped, not bothering to be nice at all. 

You looked up at her in confusion. Jessie and Tina had never acted like this towards you before. Tina’s eyes were red and watery, like she was on the verge of crying and it made you feel bad. 

“Nothing happened. He didn’t even say anything to me. He just stared at me for a second and then walked away,” you offered, hoping this would make things normal again so you could just do your job and then go home. 

Jessie rubbed a soothing hand up and down Tina’s back. 

“See. I told you,” she cooed, trying to make her friend feel better. 

You set down the book you were holding. 

“I’m confused,” you admitted. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No,” Jessie offered with a small smile, still rubbing Tina’s back as she placed her head in her hands. “Eddie Munson is just a jerk is all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. He did seem kind of rude,” you admitted, not really caring for this conversation much at all. 

Tina snapped her head up and stared at you with narrow eyes. 

“I thought you said he didn’t say anything to you,” she wailed. 

Jessie shot you a look, silently telling you to shut up. 

“He didn’t!” You exclaimed, feeling the need to defend yourself. “He just stood there and walked away!”

Tina nodded, wiping underneath her eyes with the tissue Jessie handed her. 

“What’s the big deal about him anyways?” You questioned, needing to know the story behind this to ease your own curiosity. 

“He’s a man-whore. He makes girls feel special and then just dumps them after he gets what he wants. If you’ve talked to any girl in this town then he’s slept with them,” Jessie said, sounding like she was telling a story about the boogeyman and not just some guy that wears a lot of black and stares at people in weird ways. 

You wanted to ask Jessie if she was included on the list of girls Eddie Munson had fucked over but you wanted peace for the rest of the day. 

You couldn’t help the sudden feeling of disappointment that settled into your gut at the information you had learned. It wasn’t like you knew him since he literally didn’t say at word to you and the whole interaction was weird but for some reason your brain had told you that he was harmless. Your chest felt strange, like the feeling of seeing your crush holding someone else's hand. Which was weird, because although Eddie Munson was beautiful you had only seen him for a few seconds. Surely not long enough to form any attachment. 

He was a stranger. 

“I’m sorry, Tina.He sounds like a real asshole,” you said wholeheartedly. You meant it. It seemed like Eddie Munson had truly broken the poor girl's heart. 

What an asshole. 

Tina sniffled, nodding in agreement. 

“So, if I were you I’d stay far away from him,” Jessie warned, sounding more like a threat. 

“Trust me,” you sighed, “I am definitely not interested.”

You grabbed the handles on the cart, pulling it away from the awkward conversation. Tina and Jessie started whispering again as soon as you walked away. 

The rain was pouring harder than it was earlier. 

You were contemplating making a run for it to get to the dry safety of your car but you couldn’t bring yourself to move from under the awning that hung over the store's front door. 

It was dark out now, night time coming in behind the gloomy rain clouds. The lights of the parking lot could only illuminate so much with the heavy gushes of rain coming down. 

Jessie came out of the door behind you, jumping slightly as she noticed you. 

You smiled awkwardly, the air still feeling weird from earlier. 

Jessie and Tina had kept to themselves for the rest of the day. You didn’t mind, enjoying the solitude of stacking books on your own or taking inventory. 

Tina had already gone home, running to her car as soon as she finished her last task. She got lucky with there being a break in the rain when she left. You wished you had hurried out at the same time as her. 

Jessie stuck around though to finish counting the register, saying that she had a family member coming to pick her up so she wouldn’t have to drive in the weather. She had even asked your boss if her car would be okay in the parking lot overnight. 

“Why are you still here?” She asked as she came up beside you. 

“Not ready to go through the rain. Hoping it’ll lighten up soon,” you shrugged, wrapping your arms around yourself tighter.

Jessie nodded, looking out at the parking lot and the street before it expectantly. 

About fifteen minutes pass by with you both standing in silence. Water dripped from the awning and splashed at your feet rhythmically. Neither of you said anything about it or made any attempt to move.

The rain hitting the pond that used to be the parking lot was the only sound to be heard. 

You wanted to leave so bad. You just wanted to say screw it and sprint for your car to brave the drive home. But you didn’t feel right leaving Jessie here by herself in the bad weather and darkness. 

“Do you want me to drive you home so you don’t have to wait any later?” You asked, checking your watch to see how far it had passed since closing time. 

You just wished the rain would lighten up now so you could just leave and go curl up in your bed with one of your new books. 

Jessie shook her head, face falling as each car passed the parking lot without turning in. 

The rain finally lightened to a drizzle and you groaned in relief. You stepped out from under the awning, turning back to check on Jessie. 

She stepped out from under the awning too, following you to where your cars were parked. 

“Guess he isn’t coming. Asshole,” you heard her mutter before she climbed into her car and pulled away.  

The rain finally stopped the next day. 

You woke up bright and early on your day off, much earlier than you really wanted to be up.

You dressed for the day, needing to run some of your aunt's things to the storage unit in town. 

When you had moved in, there was an abundance of stuff everywhere. After living here for a month, you had managed to pack it all into boxes and take it to the storage unit until you could find the time to go through it and decide what you wanted to keep or donate. 

You had a feeling you would end up donating it all like you did with your grandparents things, except the sentimental stuff of course. 

Your aunt liked to collect figurines and paintings of the woods and wildlife. You thought it was odd, since she quite literally lived in a home that was surrounded by woods and all she had to do if she missed it was just look outside. 

The paintings were of various animals, a few bears, a duck or two but the largest painting she had was of a large gray wolf. 

The painting was massive and in a thick dark wood frame that matched the wooden paneling on the walls. It took up most of the living room just behind the couch, positioned in a way where you would have no choice but to make eye contact with it as soon as you walked in the door. 

You took it down the day you moved in. The yellow eyes painted onto the beast seemed to follow you with every step you took in the trailer. 

So you were getting rid of it.

It had spent its time since you moved in with it propped against the wall with a sheet draped over it. You decided today was the day to finally drag it out to your car and pray that it fit into the backseat. 

You propped the front door and screen door open with the heaviest boot you had and grabbed the painting to drag it outside. 

You got it halfway through the door when something on your front porch had you pausing. 

At your feet, on the wooden planks that made up the porch were large muddy paw prints. Whatever animal it had come from was massive. The prints were larger than your own hand, making your shiver a the realization that whatever it was came right to your front door when you were blissfully unaware in your bed. 

Despite the sun shining, you now had an ominous feeling in your spine. 

You quickly pushed the painting back inside, letting the doors fall shut behind you.. 

You’d take the painting tomorrow instead. 

You got off work again when it was dark. 

Thankfully there was no rain this time. 

You were able to scrub the paw prints off your porch and take the painting to the storage unit this morning before work. 

After discovering the muddy prints at your doorstep the day before, you locked yourself in your house and rethought your move to Hawkins. 

You had spent all last night tossing and turning in your bed in fear of what could be lurking outside. You had probably gotten up and checked the lock on the front door at least five times before finally dozing off into a restless sleep. 

But you had made it through the night and when you checked outside this morning only the old paw prints remained with no new signs of your visitor. 

You turned down the curvy road to head to your side of town. 

Today had gone back to normal with Tina and Jessie back to their normal selves with no talk of the guy that had broken Tina’s heart. 

Now that you were farther from the center of town, there were more trees and less houses. You were the only car on the road, the last headlights you had seen were a few miles back. 

You were so close to your home when you saw something large run through the road. 

You slammed on your brakes, the tires locking up and squealing as the car skidded and stopped with a jerk. 

Your heart raced as you tried to calm down. Your eyes scanned the road, looking for whatever it was that was just there. 

You slammed your hand on the off button on your radio, silencing The Rolling Stones abruptly. 

Through the flickering headlights, you could make out something standing on the left side of the road. It slowly stalked into view until you were leaning back in your seat, frozen from fear. 

It was the biggest damn wolf you had ever seen in your life. And it was standing right infront of your car, staring straight into your eyes. 

It was hard to see in the poor lighting, but its coat was somewhere between a midnight black and a chocolate brown. It was tall, taller than your car. It kept its head hunkered down low to look at you in the driver's seat. 

You wondered if you should break eye contact but you were pretty sure that you had seen somewhere that you were supposed to act like you were bigger when you came face to face with a wild animal. 

Although you were in your car, you were sure that if it wanted to get you it could. Hell, you were sure that it could crush this thing with a flick of its tail if it wanted to. 

A loud howl came from the right of your car. You jumped, foot easing off the brake and making the car lurch forward. You slammed your foot back down, stopping the car before it could hit the animal.

The wolf blinked a few times, not even flinching. It turned, slowly stalking to the right side of the road and giving you time to move. 

You felt its eyes on you as you sped off past it. 

Yeah, Hawkins was really fucking weird. 

Next Chapter

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson au #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie stranger things #eddie munson series #werewolf!eddiemunson #fuckboy!eddie munson #eddie munson angst

[winterarmyy]

Thin Walls, Thin Lines

What will happen if a fuckboy falls in love with a hopeless romantic?

Summary: Modern society surely had corrupted the mind of the hundred-something year old man, Bucky Barnes, when he seemed to have forgotten the art of courting a lady. Lost in lust and pleasure, he had been indulging with endless array of different girls on his bed almost every night. And the opposite side of that thin walls of his room, lives a hopeless romantic who he was madly in love with.

Navigation: Original Version || Deleted Scene* (alt. ending)

Pairing: fuckboy!bucky x female!reader

Words: 4.9k++

Warnings: avenger au, explicit language/contents, angst, lil bit of drama, fluff, please bare with the fuckery of bucky barnes, reader is sensitive yet quite fiesty too. i can't backup steve on this one, he is on his own.

A/N: As you can see from the navigation bar, we have two different endings for this fic, because I am greedy and indecisive. The original version ended with fluff and the deleted scene (alternate ending) ended with absolute filth of a smut. So... enjoy! 💕

P/S: And this is also my submission for @jessybarnes 's writing challenge. I have chosen "Kiss me again" from the prompt list and I hope you like the way I used it in this fic!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Y/N has always been a hopeless romantic. She dreams of a love like the ones she read in books. She craved someone who loves her so deeply that she could never find peace in anyone else but him. She wanted all the love songs and poetry to be reminders of him; his beauty, his charms.

Fresh flowers, stargazing, coffee dates, kisses that tastes of cotton candy, warm cuddles, and every little things in between; she longed for it all. She dreams of a love that is so consuming until all that's left in that small bubble of infatuation is their entangled soul mending each other to the bone.

That's what makes her a hopeless romantic.

And very much the opposite of her was Bucky. He is an infuriating flirt. There's not a day goes by that he doesn't call her with sickeningly sweet nicknames; doll, gorgeous, princess, darling, you name it. He will definitely drop some suggestive lines at any given chance and most of the time when she least expected.

He can charm anyone just by his presence, and if you're lucky enough to get one of his infamous smile; then you best believe that you won't be going home alone that night, or able to walk proper the next morning. He is the typical playboy you know and hate; very often she'll see different girl in his arms or on his bed. And that man seemed to not know when to stop. Sometimes, she do wonder if he ever got tired of sex. Because she knows for certain that he can go on and on for hours, daily.

"Fuck,, that's it. Spread your legs for me. Yeah, 'atta girl."

Speaking of the devil.

This has been recurring for months now. It seems like the man never sleep because his voice would always wake her up. She couldn't decide what was worse; between being forced to hear the sounds of the skin slapping, the bed creaking, him groaning and her squealing or being a super light sleeper that even a whisper in her room would jolt her awake.

Y/N let out an annoyed grunt when she swoop her head under the pillow, hoping to silenced the noises even just a little bit. Surprise; it didn't help at all. Her body cringed and her face contorted into a squint when she hear the other woman announcing her release as the headboard hits the wall a little harder, a little faster.

Bucky Barnes sure is a fuckboy but unfortunately for her, he is also the man she fell in love with.

She refused to show it, but lord knows how much her heart simply swell to the sight of his smile. Despite the flirtatious tendencies of his, there was something about him that attracted her like a magnet; or like a moth to a flame.

Maybe it was his old soul, or maybe because she saw glimpses of timeless charm in him; the way he moves, the way he gazes, and the way treated her. Nevertheless, it was such a devastating thing for someone like her to fall for someone like him.

The last thing she wanted in a man, is to look at her like she was just a good fuck and nothing more. She just couldn't imagine herself to be tied with someone like that. And Bucky was exactly that someone.

Y/N haven't been able to get more than 2 hours of sleep for months now. The lack of it had caused her to drastically lose physical strength and lately fatigue has been a constant presence as well.

So she decided to go the medbay to consult Dr. Cho about it. After running some tests, she sat her down for some Camomile tea as she went through the results, "It seemed like the severe lack of sleep had took a really heavy toll on you."

Y/N sighed as she place the tea cup on the back on the table, "Yes, I am well aware of that. That is precisely why I am here."

"Nightmares?" Dr. Cho speculated.

If the definition of nightmare is 'the moans of the man, that she had a crush on, fucking someone else next door' then, yes. She was having long and nearly endless nightmares for months now.

"Something like that." She lied.

"Then, I have some medication that I can prescribe to you. You should take it daily after dinner and..." Before Dr. Cho managed to finish her instructions, Y/N quickly asked, "Is it possible to fix me without meds?"

Dr. Cho frowned curiously, "Why wouldn't take meds? That's the quickest way to help for your situation, as far as I know." she asked.

This was not her first rodeo; she had troubles sleeping back when she was merely teenager. And the last time tried using meds, she ended up almost overdosed herself from it, "It's just... I prefer not to." she evaded.

Dr. Cho nodded understandingly before clarifying the current situation, "Well then, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do for you. Though some research suggested that meditation routine before sleep can help. Or putting up some natural ambience like the sound of rain or waves--"

Y/N wasn't really listening after the first sentence. Because all she could thought of was how much longer she can bare with this and what will it take for her to finally snap.

Y/N was dying. At least it felt like it.

With her deprivation of sleep and the intense combat training she had to go through today, her patience was reaching it's limit. After visiting the medbay 2 weeks ago, she had tried to approach Bucky about it but he always took it lightly.

There was series of insincere apology followed by a cheeky promise to 'keep the tone down' for her. But nothing changed. She asked him again and again; days gone by he didn't live up to the end of his bargain.

For those past week, Y/N had resorted to sleep in the living room for most of the nights. How she dreaded to leave her comfy bed but she could no longer tolerate the sounds coming from the other side on the wall. Though she still jolted awake from time to time due to how uncomfortable it was sleeping on a couch, but at least she got more than 2 hours of sleep if she was to compare to the nights she slept in her own room.

It's not she didn't notice it at all; she knew exactly how and why it happened. The habit of microsleeping that she developed during the course of this training. The slowed reaction time, the lack of energy, she can feel it. But, there was nothing she can do about it.

The only cure for this was to get some rest. A proper rest. And that can't happened, not without Bucky's cooperation.

When Y/N was marching towards the sargent who was sitting way across the gym; she could see how his eyes undress every piece of her clothing, how his tongue rolled out and his teeth sunk into his lips.

She wasn't even wearing anything remotely provocative but here he was lusting over the way her hips sway especially when he was the one she's walking towards.

The moment she stood in front of him, his mouth lifted into a smirk, "Yes, princess. How may I be of your service?" His voice was sultry and the way he towers over made her slightly nervous for no reason.

Her heart fluttered, yet her lips refused to form a smile, "Don't call me princess."

"I apologize, my queen." Bucky gave her a cheeky smile.

Y/N didn't want to drag this any longer than she should, so she quicky jump into it and said, "So you know how I’m like-"

"-absolutely embarrassingly in love with me? Yes, I'm familiar go on." Bucky cuts in. If panic ever rose in her chest, then she was doing an incredible job of hiding it, "Can you just shut up for a second and take me seriously?"

His eyes glint with flirtaous mischief when he replied, "Doll, you know the fastest way to shut me up is to kiss me."

Y/N simply sighed before she began to rant, "I really don't have the mood for this banter with you, Barnes. I just want you tone down your nightly routine. It is because of you I've been having trouble sleeping and--"

He quickly stopped her before she nags even more than she already did, "Okay, okay I get it. We've been through this, doll." Bucky's face lit up when he suggested, "How about I help you sleep, hmm? I may know a thing or two about tiring someone out." There was surely something unholy in those steel blue eyes of his.

And Y/N picked it up rather quick, but considering the amount of times he had insinuate something more than just a friendly banter, then of course she knew exactly what he was suggesting, so she simply replied, "No offense, Barnes. But, I don't do one night stand or no strings attached thing. And with a manwhore like you? No, thank you." sassy was her answer.

Bucky's head tilted back as he laughed, then when he spoke his voice was like a devil luring an angel to sin, "Oh babydoll, if I were to be a whore, it'll only be for you." He stepped closer so that only she can hear his confession.

His masculine scent hits her nose, mixture of the citrus cologne and his natural odour was just perfect. Annoyingly alluring; but perfect. And it took all her will to hold it together and blatantly rejects him, "Still not interested."

Bucky groaned in protest, "Come on, princess. You can't keep dreaming for some prince charming to court you, do you? You know that's probably never going to happen right?"

Surely he meant only to tease her; that it was less likely that an actual prince to romance her. Not that she did not deserve the world; she does. And Bucky was more than will to burn it to the ground if that's what she wanted.

But, Y/N didn't see it that way. She thought that Bucky meant that she is not worthy enough for a decent man to court her with respect and chilvary; that she was just a toy fit for fucking and nothing more. And the fact that her "insomia" had affected her usually high patience and reduced it to almost paper thin, it was only fair for her to finally snap.

She can tolerate his endless flirtation but she can't simple turn a blind eye for his insult.

Bucky was caught by surprise why Y/N harshly grabbed him by the collar, pushing him back and nearly stumbled; her eyes was pure fire when she growled, "Don't you dare mock the way I value relationship, Barnes." Her nose flared with anger and the commotion has attracted some prying eyes towards the two.

"Just because you enjoy fucking anything that breathes, that doesn't mean that everyone else does." She seethed, "The only cock that will be wrecking my pussy would belong to someone I love and if you have a problem with that, you can fuck right off." She forcefully pushed him until his ass landed on the bench behind him.

Her feet stomped all throughout her exit out of the gym, leaving Bucky in a blinking confusion.

He knew it was wrong.

It felt good. It felt right.

But, it was so fucking wrong.

To keep moaning Y/N's name when he railed those strangers to heaven; when he came so hard into the thin layer of condom. And it was always a soft and slow type of whimper, right in those girls' ears. So intimate, so careful not to let his secret out; knowing how thin the walls between him and the love of his life.

But, he certainly didn't care about the girl he was fucking. If it wasn't for his heavy body pinning her from behind, she would've elbowed him right in the guts for moaning another woman's name. Unfortunately for him, she quickly ditched and see herself out after the first round.

Now, he laid there; naked and bare. Thinking of how he simply couldn't help it. How could he not think of Y/N all the times? Not when he was deeply, helplessly in love with her. But, he knew she wouldn't bat an eye at him now that he had the reputation of a "fuckboy", as the young ones describes it. She especially made it clear today at the gym. She's never going to give him a chance now.

Not when she's a hopeless romantic. And the fact that he too was once the same was just aggravating to him. He was such a gentleman decades ago; before Hydra, before the war, when he was but a young man living Brooklyn.

His Ma had really shaped him into the perfect gentleman; every parents in the neighbourhood wanted him as their son-in-law. They claimed he would make the perfect husband for their daughters. But, things are different now. And he knew that the man he was before was long forgotten.

It was just curiosity at first; about how sex works in the 21st century. However, Bucky quickly fall into the promises of lust and pleasure; changing girls like changing clothes. He let himself dosed in ecstasy, as if it was a drug to silenced the dark and haunting memories of his past, like it was a quick escape from reality, from the Winter Soldier.

Then, Y/N happened.

Bucky never saw it coming; but, he fell. Hard.

They were colleague for years and had been a good friend he can rely on besides Steve. She was so sweet and pretty. Probably the most gorgeous woman he ever laid his eyes on, in the hundred something year old life of his. Most importantly, she was kind and patient and strong and fierce yet so unforgivingly selfless. 

But that didn't matter now, does it? Especially when she despise him. And it was all because of the unholy title he held.

At first Bucky didn't notice it, but now that he stepped closer into the living room, he heard it again. The rustling fabric, the quiet whimper coming from the sofa. His steps were as careful as a wolf on a hunt, stalking a hiding prey in between the trees.

If Bucky were to guess what he would find on a late night trip to the kitchen, he would've probably said 'ice cream' and not 'Y/N sleeping in the living room'. His eyes briefly raked her sleeping figure, curling uncomfortably into the pastel purple blanket. Then at the scattered pillows on the floor around her.

Why was she sleeping in the living room?

Another whine passed her lips and his attention was locked on her frowning face; it seemed like she was having a bad dream. Bucky carefully crouch next to her, and ravel in her beauty. Such delicate features, long lashes, pretty freckles across her nose, and those soft looking lips; he would kill just to taste her them, to sink his teeth in between them.

It worried him though; to see her sleeping here. She was clearly uncomfortable, it was a mystery that she managed to even fall asleep in the first place. Bucky suspected she simply passed out due to today's training. It was particularly hard, even for him. Let alone a normal human being like Y/N.

Not to mention the fight that they had.

Then, it clicked. The complains about how she had trouble sleeping. It wasn't just to make fun of him or tease him in any way. It was a plead. She needed to be heard and he completely blew her off with jest and jokes.

"Was it because of... me?" Bucky thought to himself. It all made sense now, "Shit." A curse rang in his mind when he bit the insides of his cheek. He was mad at himself. How could he be so insensitive? And he claimed to love her? Please. What an absolute piece of shit he was.

When Y/N began to toss and turn, her blanket fell from her body. Even in her sleep, the cold managed to catch her. She instinctively curled towards herself, seeking warmth but was no avail.

She look so small and Bucky felt a surge of need to cuddle her close, keeping her safe, keeping her warm in his arms. But if he does that, he'd probably get kicked in the nuts. So instead, he picked up the fallen blanket lay it back across her whole body; carefully not to disturb her sleep.

Bucky smiled softly when she snuggled into the fabric and before he walked away, he swore to stop this corrupting habit of his and apologize for being such a douchebag to her. And if he's lucky, maybe he could even properly court her.

But for now, he just needed to go through tommorrow's mission. So does everyone one else in the team.

"Do you realized what you have done?" Not matter how hard he tried to hold it back, everyone in the Quinjet can see how Steve was seething.

Y/N's lost of sleep had took a toll on her more than she realized now that it had affected her performance in mission. She tried to ignore the way she was basically seeing Steve's feet multiply by the second, and continued to look down in shame, "I'm sorry, Captain."

"Don't apologize to me. Nat's the one who got shot because of you!" He yelled as he pointed at the red haired woman at the side of the plane.

No matter how much she wanted to blame Bucky on this; how he literally robbed her from fulfilling her human needs to rest at night, but she just couldn't. It was her fault that Natasha got hurt. If she was more alert, she would've seen the enemy standing right in front of her. If she was awake enough, then Natasha wouldn't get hurt.

Tears threatened to form when she looked over at her dear friend, bleeding at the side, "I'm so sorry, Nat. I really am. I didn't know what came to me and I--"

"Oh please, I'd take a bullet for you any day of the week, honey." Natasha swiftly cuts into her apology, in attempt to diffuse the heated situation.

But, Steve totally disagree with her, "Don't make this 'okay', Nat. You almost died because for her carelessness. Being inadequate shouldn't be okay for any agent to do. It is extremely reckless and downright stupid."

There was a sound of a distant gasp from the pilot pit, "Language!" Tony was clearly trying to lighten up the mood but it failed rather miserably when no one reacted.

Steve had every right to be mad, especially when his girlfriend was injured because of this, but oh does it hurt to hear his stabbing words. It hurts more when it comes from the Captain America himself.

God, she was extremely tired.

Physically, mentally and that's what happens when a person is lack of sleep. Then when she thought about all her hardwork and struggles to train amongst the superhero themselves, she couldn't help but to crack; and the tears that was building up in her eyes finally fell.

When Steve saw it, he lost it completely, "Oh, you're gonna cry now? WOW. Real mature, y/n. You can't disappoint me more can you?" At that point, he was being a little too mean for anyone's liking.

Especially Bucky.

So Bucky slowly pulled Y/N back, and shielded her body behind his as he went on face to face with his bestfriend, "That's enough, Steve." He warned but Steve doesn't seem to get the idea, "No, Buck. Do you see--"

Bucky took one step closer, his menacing glare went right through Steve's soul, "I said... that's enough." He repeated his words. This time the message went through.

Steve gulped and cleared his throat as he waved a dismissing hand, "I expect a full report and a letter of apology from you when we get back, y/n." He ended his sentence with his back turned and then walked away towards his girl.

When Bucky turned around to face Y/N, she was but a crying mess. Tears kept streaming down and her lips quivered in so much sadness. Now, that she was in the light, Bucky could see the darker shades on the bag of her eyes.

This was his fault. If he just stopped goofing around and listen to what she had to say yesterday, she wouldn't need to go through this, "Oh sweetheart..." though he meant to call her in his mind, it might just slipped through his lips.

Y/N glared up at him, "This was none of your concern, Barnes." She spat.

He shrugged, "Well, lucky for you, I don't care whose it is. What I know is I care about you. Now, let's get that wound patch up." Bucky simply said, and that was when she realized that her ribs were slashed open, bleeding and torn. Maybe it was not too deep, that was why she didn't notice it.

But it is an injury nonetheless, and it was a surprise to her that Bucky noticed it. "I don't want your help." She frowned yet continued to sniffle.

"Yeah, but you need it." He replied as he carefully tucked the loose strand of her hair behind her ears.

Unable to think of any comebacks, she let her fatigue win over. Her lips shut tightly and her chest shuddered for breaths. And when Bucky took her hand in his and lead the way, her body instantly responded by gripping him tight.

Bucky's heart soared at the touch of her small hand in his, while fire was burning in hers.

She hates him. She hates how caring he can be. She hates how soft he was when handling her. And she hates how easy it was for him to make her fall for him even more.

Y/N's body quickly went on auto pilot; she let him undress the blood soaking top and patch her wounds. And Bucky let her cry her heart out on his shoulder all the way back home to New York.

That night when everyone had settled back to their own rooms, Y/N was prepping to sleep outside again. It was like a schedule for Bucky to always fuck whatever his frustrations out when they finished a mission.

And she doesn't want to hear any of it. Not tonight.

Thankfully, her wounds were mostly healed thanks to Dr. Cho and her ingenious of a machine, Cradle. That thing fixed the teared tissue right up with its regenerative  functions.

Now, Y/N just needs to endure the bruises but those are bearable. What she couldn't bear is the lack of energy and goodnight's sleep. She wished to just pass out for days and not wake up even if a prince came to kiss her to wake.

And she knew that sleeping in her room won't give her that.

Y/N piled her pillows and blanket on top of another before scanning the room one last time to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. Because she was not planning to step foot in her room until dawn comes, hoping the sounds from the other side of the room died down by then.

When she was walking pass Bucky's, she noticed how awfully quiet his room was, but she didn't think about it too much. She waited for the elevator to open its door only to reveal the man himself, "Barnes."

He eyed how Y/N's figure almost hidden behind the piles of pillow in her hold. He stepped out as he asked, "Where do you think you're going?" Bucky knew exactly where but he was not having any of that.

It was weird to her that she didn't see any sign or Bucky's hook-up in his arms, but she bet that there will be one after she's gone downstairs, "Away from you, that's for sure." She said, taking a step into the elevator but instantly stopped the moment Bucky blocked her path.

Bucky lips flatten against each other; he didn't say anything, he only frowned down at her then simply grabbed her wrist and dragged her back to her room.

Utterly confused, "What are you doing? Hey, let go of me." She twisted her wrist in his hold, while trying to balance the pillows from falling. A useless trial it was; because who could even escape that metal grip of his.

Bucky quickly respond, "No. You're not sleeping on that shitty sofa tonight." He stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to her, "You're injured, y/n. You need on a proper rest on a proper bed." He coaxed.

How did he know that she had been sleeping on the coach? She thought before saying out loud, "I'm fine, Barnes. It's not even that deep of a wound, the Cradle fixed it clean. So, can you just... let go of my hand?" She sighed.

But Bucky refused to even spare her a glance, he silently tug her and stomp his way towards her room. There waa retaliation on her side, but his lack of response had lead Y/N to her defeat. She begrudgingly followed his long strides until she they stood by her bed.

He snatched each of the pillows and blankets off her hands, while Y/N simply blinked speechlessly as she watched Bucky started set up her bed like he had been doing it everyday.

Weirdly, at times like this, she found him extremely lovely. There was no corny and flirty comment about her, or his annoying habit of teasing every little thing she does.

There was just a comfortable silence and a kind gesture; the type that pulled the red strings of her heart just enough to make her want to dream of him.

Fucking hell, she can't believe that he managed to do that again! Making her fall for his antics. He really needs to stop doing that, it's simply rude.

Y/N broke from her love struck trance when she felt his cold metal laced around her hand again, he pulled her closer, "Now hop on, bunny. You need to rest." He lead her under the blanket and she grumbled curses under her breath, something about he need stop calling her weird nicknames like that.

When she was well tucked in and comfortable, Bucky sat at the edge of the bed by her side and spoke, "I'm sorry. For not trying to listen to you at the gym yesterday. I was a jerk."

His apology was so sincere that Y/N caught herself in a shock. Who is this man? What has he done to Bucky Barnes?

His eyes lingered to the wall behind her bed as if he was trying to find the right words to address it, "About the noises..." he trailed, "...it'll stop from now on."

Oh. Nevermind. She liked this Bucky. She wants to keep him forever, "Really? You mean it?" There weren't any effort put to hide her excitement when her voice nearly squeaked.

Bucky chuckled amusingly at her reaction, "Really, doll. But, you gotta promise not to sleep on the couch again."

Sparks of joy filled her chest when he confirmed his decision. Sure, it was such a small favour to do to anyone. But, she appreciate his efforts to make amends. "Hmm, I promise." She hummed happily, blinking slow as the comfort of her bed lured her into a drowsy state.

"Thanks, Bucky." Her mentioned his name.

Thank god for the super sensitive hearing ability, cause Bucky surely love the sound of her voice whispering his name so softly, "For apologizing or for tucking you to sleep?" He jest.

It only made her eyes rolled to the side and a smile spread across her face, "Both." she said. "And for what you did on the jet."

Bucky simply shrugged as if it was a normal thing to do. But, it wasn't. It was rare for him to challenge Steve like he did. And he did it for her, "Really, I owe you one." She said assuringly.

A playful smirk pulled on Bucky's lips when he spoke "Doll, you shouldn't be saying that so carelessly. Who knows I might use it for despicable things." Surely, he love to be the cause to bloom those red shades on her cheeks.

But it didn't happened when she asked quietly, "Will you?"

And the silence that came after was heavy with tenderness while their eyes spoke the truth to one another. As the thin lines in between got blurry, for once, there was just streams of genuine feelings pouring out of them, leaking through and contaminating the air with its magic.

Would he? Take advantage of her?

How could he though? He loved her too much to even think of purposely hurting her. "No." Bucky replied as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, "Sleep well, princess." He mumbled against her skin.

And he pulled back, he grinned a cheeky smile. There it was; the pink blush on her face, wide surprise of her eyes and her slightly parted lips. She looked so adorable. He swore couldn't get enough of it.

"Kiss me again..." she nearly growled, but her blushing on her face didn't indicate anger, "...and I will choke you in your sleep." Though it was an attempt to threaten but typical of Bucky to just love to turn things around, "Hmm, is that an invitation, princess?" He purred and stole another kiss; this time, on her cheek. "Then, I will be looking forward to it." He whispered as quickly as he removed himself from the scene.

When he found his own bed, he couldn't help but to laugh at the muffled scream coming from the opposite side of the thin walls, "James. Fucking. Barnes!!!"

End.

Alternate ending (smut edition): Deleted Scene >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: I hope you drop some thoughts behind before going to the deleted scene. Which I know you will. See you on the other side 👀

#jessybarnesreaches500 #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #avenger!bucky #fuckboy!bucky #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #thin walls thin lines au

[bakugosbratx]

Tattoo Artist Eren Jeager

Tw: tattoos, smoking, fuckboy behavior, sex for tattoos, totally self indulgent.

A/N: I had this idea while being tattooed and now here we are. Enjoy :)

Tags: @nymphoheretic @lanarist @renhoeku

• Tatoo artist Eren Jeager who has suicideboys, NBA youngboy, and Post Malone blasting in his booth. Also, listens to heavy metal, hard rock, and some alternative. He likes a mix.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager who has a shit ton of black and gray tattoos on his arms.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager who is always a little too close for comfort when it comes to tattooing his clients. His hand really doesn’t need to be on your thigh or the way he has your arm positioned doesn’t need to brush against his dick, but no one is going to complain. And let’s not forget the subtle warm breath you feel from time to time on your skin coming from him.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager also vapes a lot. His booth always filled with smoke and if you have a problem with it, you can get the fuck out of his chair.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is actually really good at his work. He does realism tattoos really well, but he also enjoys the older style tattoos also.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager definitely let’s people give him head for a discounted tattoo.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager seems cold as fuck, not much for conversation, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes do all of the talking. If he isn’t fuckin’ you physically, he’s fuckin’ you mentally.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is popular on social media for how hot he is. People travel to see him all of the time. His books are very full so you better never cancel.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager has a mix of patchwork tattoos and also blackout on one of his arms or legs. He always wears black skinny jeans, black vans, and a black shirt that hugs his muscles tight. Sometimes his shirts have designs on them.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager does judge you for your tattoos. If you get something simple and stereotypical for your first tattoo, he is roasting your ass lmao. “Your zodiac sign? You believe in that astrology bullshit?” Yes, my first tattoo was my Leo sign

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager drives a truck. Don’t ask me why this matters because it don’t. But it’s nice. He also has a cool older car collection.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager eventually owns a shop. Not right away due to not wanting the responsibility, but he does get there.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager has earrings. Maybe eventually small gages, but he definitely has earrings in.

• Tattoo artist Eren Jeager is always worth the money. One way or another, you’ll always be a satisfied customer.

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved — I don’t give anyone permission to repost, distribute, copy or re-use my works in any way. Especially not on other websites such as Tik Tok, Ao3, Wattpad, etc.

#tw tattoos #tw fuckboy #tattoo artist eren jeager #eren jeager #eren jeager au #aot eren #eren yaeger imagine #eren jaeger #eren x you #shingeki no kyoujin eren #eren headcanons #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager x y/n #snk headcanons

[bangtanficsforyou]

They Reject You (maknae line)- part two

Pairing: Bts maknae line x Reader

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: swear words here and there

A/N: here's my patreon just in case you enjoy reading my stuff!

Park Jimin

Jimin's eyes light up when he spots you in the cafeteria. You're sitting alone with a cup of coffee and typing away something on your laptop and he can't help but feel like the chair next to you is practically calling for him. 

He makes a quick beeline towards your table and occupies the seat. "Hey, sweetheart."

You don't bother looking up at him as your eyes remain fixed on the screen.

"You shouldn't be sitting alone, if you needed company you could have just texted me," he suggests taking hold of your coffee cup. His plump lips wrap around the straw and he draws up the liquid extra loudly, knowing very well that the noise annoys you.

However, you pay no attention to his lack of table manners.

"Do you know we were supposed to have an exam today but it got cancelled?" He speaks in a tone of disappointment, knowing you'd agree with him. It's one of your icks when you've worked hard for something and have shown up for it, but ultimately do not get the chance to prove yourself.

But you still remain focused on your work and give no reaction or response.

At this point, Jimin finds himself feeling curious as to what might be so important in your laptop that it has all your attention. He leans forward to take a peek and realises that you're working on an assignment.

"Assignments are now more important than me, I see," sighing dramatically he looks down as if upset by your lack of acknowledgement. Not even a moment later he looks up subtly to check if you're looking at him.

When he realises that you aren't, the slightest bit of annoyance sparks inside him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, I should just leave," he keeps his tone casual, not intending to let the fact that he's feeling grumpy, be known.

You tilt your head cutely and mumble something along the lines of vertices having a degree two to yourself. 

Jimin's jaw drops in complete shock. The last time you two had a proper chat was three days back and now that he's trying to talk to you, this is how you treat him?! If that's what you want, fine. He isn't going to sit here and beg you to pay attention to him.

"Fine, I'll leave. I have better stuff to do anyway," he grumbles and takes his leave.

If anyone were to take notice of Jimin's expressions, they'd probably end up laughing. He looks angry but that little pout on his lips and the sad look in his eyes makes him look like a little child throwing tantrums. 

It's a good thing your eyes are not on him. Not even when he makes his leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two classes later, Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram when he comes across a reel of a cute puppy doing the usual puppy antics. His first instinct is to send it to you. However, when he clicks on the share button, he doesn't find your account on the list of people to send. His brows furrow in confusion and he types your account id on the search bar only for the screen to read a message saying no matches found. 

Have you....have you blocked him?

He exits the application and opens WhatsApp. When his eyes land on your contact he notices how your profile picture is appearing to be blank and it only makes him desperately type out a message to you. 

Throughout the class, he keeps hoping that he'd notice a double tick to assure him that you haven't blocked him but unfortunately, no such thing occurs.

At the end of the day, he goes to sleep with a displeased frown. How could you do this? How could you just ignore him during recess and then block him on social media out of nowhere? He didn't even do anything wrong. 

Did he?

He tries to recall the last time the both of you had a proper conversation and his mind goes to the events that occurred on the night of the frat party. 

It's true that you had snapped at him and that the conversation you had, would not fall under the category of 'friendly'. But he didn't think it was serious, either. Both of you had silly arguments here and there, but it never seemed to matter in the long run. Somehow or the other, Jimin always managed to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Sooner or later, the two of you would fall back to the rhythm of him annoying the shit out of you and you talking back to him. 

The more Jimin recalls the little fiery banters you two have engaged in, in the past, the more his confidence grows. He tells himself this time would be no different. It may take a little more time but Jimin is sure you'll be talking to him again. 

It's true that you have never blocked him before. Or never have downright ignored him like this. Even when you would appear to be mad, there was always that little twitch of your eyes or you poking the inside of your cheeks with your tongue, which let him know that he was being successful.

But it doesn't matter. 

Maybe you're really really mad at him this time. But he's sure he will melt that anger away with his smile and charm.

It works on everyone, no doubt it will work on you as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------

With a wide confident smirk plastered on his face, he walks into your classroom and looks for you. 

His smirk softens into a small smile when he spots you with your head buried in books. 

He ignores the hushed whispers and the dreamy stares and walks to your seat before sliding next to you. 

"Hey sweetheart," he says, putting the effort to make his voice extra sultry and smooth. That always works on the girls. 

And for a moment, Jimin thinks he has won when he notices the look of complete surprise on your face. However, his victory is short-lived as your surprise fades quickly and once it does you're back to your work without paying him any mind.

"I got you a gift," he places the said gift on top of your notebook. A rose. "I looked at it and it reminded me of you."

Your hands falter for a brief moment as the nib of your pen is met by the flower. You use your other hand to move the flower out of your way.

Jimin huffs. He is starting to get annoyed and there's this sense of unsettlement in his veins but he tries to look amused. If there's one thing that bothered you to no end, it was when he found your anger as a source of his amusement. 

"Awww," he coos with an underlying tone of mockery. "Are you angry at me?" 

You don't react. Jimin is neither surprised nor flattered. 

"It's so cute though," he comments, and only if you were looking at him would you have known it's only his voice that gives the faux impression of him being amused. His eyes, his frown even the curve of his lips don't hide the fact that he is anything but not amused. 

Jimin feels a mix of frustration and desperation, which makes him snatch the pen away from your hand.

You seem startled by his actions but instead of arguing with him for being such a pain in the ass, your hand makes its way to your pencil pouch. However, before you can take another pen out, Jimin is taking that away from you as well. 

"You aren't getting these back until you talk to me," he declares, as he hugs the pouch and your pen close to his chest as if shielding them away from you.

You sigh, not out of agitation or anger. You seem bored. Something that scares and hurts Jimin, at the same time.

"What do you want?" You query, finally talking to him directly. After four days.

"What do you mean by what do you want?" He scoffs, making air quotes to mock your question. "You aren't talking to me and have blocked me on socials. What do you think I want?"

You sigh, once again and once again you look bored. As if you'd prefer to be anywhere but here. "I thought you had a reputation for being a fuckboy or something."

Jimin's brow furrow in confusion. "What does that have anything to do with this?"

"As a fuckboy whose commitment lasts for only one night, you must have faced many instances where you just wanted the girl to just take the hint," you state, speaking in a tone that's so calm that it makes Jimin squirm in discomfort. "Wonder why then, do you not know when to take the hint yourself."

His eyes fall and suddenly all traces of anger and frustration is gone and is replaced by sadness. Jimin looks a like sad kid who has just been told Santa isn't real. 

The look in Jimin's eyes catches you by surprise. He is an expert at making sad eyes to lure someone in. You know that because you have been a victim of it. But Jimin's eyes always had that little spark in them. Something that gave away his act and highlighted the mischief brewing within them. Something that let you on the fact that he's only pretending to be sad. 

However, now that you look into his eyes, they just seem dull. Making it seem like Jimin is sad, maybe for real this time.

You ignore the urge you feel to comfort him and maintain a blank face. Why should you even feel bad for choosing yourself? How many times has he thought or cared about his words and how they have made you feel? How many times was he there to wipe the tears that he made you cry?

Not even once. 

You may be someone who's tough and headstrong but you're also just as soft and loving on the inside. If you give in now and comfort him just to see him happy, you know you will be repeating the same cycle with yourself. And it would be so damn toxic.  

"Are you really not going to talk to me?" He whispers, in a soft voice. 

"I don't want to, trust me." This time your voice is not cold. This time you sound like you. The you, Jimin is familiar with. You don't even seem mad. And that's exactly how Jimin knows that you mean what you're saying.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has had a tough week. 

Nothing out of the ordinary, perse. He has been going to parties, has been getting drunk and has been the same him. But maybe that's exactly why he is having a tough time. Because despite doing regular 'Jimin' things, he hasn't been feeling like himself. 

He doesn't even know what's wrong. Or maybe he does, he just wants to ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. That he's fine. 

He does his classes and tries his best to focus on the material that's being taught but somehow or the other, he zones out. 

But it's not like it's a big deal. It's normal and all cool. He's fine. 

During football practice, he misses the opportunities that present themselves to him as if he's a blind man. 

But again, that's normal, right? Even the best of players make mistakes. Who's Jimin to not make one? It's fine. He's fine. 

During lunch, he accidentally puts pepper instead of salt in his food. But that's also normal! Nothing out of the ordinary. 

He's fine. 

He repeats these two words in his mind as he makes his way to the next class. However, he is met by a sight that has his steps halting.

It's you. 

You have your head thrown back and you're laughing at something your friend said.

The scene causes a stir of emotions inside him. 

One of the first things he feels is longing. Any other time he would deny it with everything in his being but now that you're in front of him like this, he simply can't. He misses you. He misses talking to you. He misses teasing you. He misses how your nose would scrunch up in annoyance. He misses the way you would chew on your lower lip to hold back from smiling. 

He misses everything about you.

The next emotion that hits him is anger. Here he is, feeling like he can't act and function normally without you, and there you are totally unbothered. 

The thought also scares him. What if, what if you just don't care about him anymore?

If that so happens to be the case, Jimin at least needs to know for sure. He can't be going around like this with a hole in his chest and having unanswered questions in his mind regarding what exactly happened for you to suddenly cut him off like this.

So, the next thing he knows, he's walking towards you. Ignoring the surprised look on your face, he grabs the courage to speak. 

"Can I talk to you for two minutes?"

You look at your watch simply because you need to make an excuse as to why you can't give him the two minutes. "Sorry, I have to head for my class."

Jimin nods, having expected something like that. "We can talk while walking. I'll drop you to your class."

"You don't need to–"

"I want to," he cuts you off with a determined look on his face, not willing to take no for an answer.

Truth be told, you have no intention of talking to him. But somewhere, at the back of your mind, you're curious as to what he might have to say. After all, after one whole week of Jimin not trying to bug you, you had honestly assumed that that was the end of whatever friendship (if you can even call it that) you two had. 

Jimin takes note of the indecisive look on your face and before you can come to a negative decision, he takes hold of your hand and gently tugs you to a side. 

"What–"

"I am sorry but I had to," he says with a tone that conveys nothing but sincerity. 

You're half pissed at Jimin's behaviour but you ignore it nevertheless, thinking that whatever it is that he has to say, it must be serious. Because you have never seen Jimin being like this before. 

"Whatever you want to say, make it quick," you say with a sigh. 

"Why are you cutting me off like this?" Jimin's words are out of his mouth the moment he knows that you're ready to listen to him. It's like he has been waiting for ages to ask you this particular question. 

Your brows furrow for a split second before you scoff. "Is that what this is all about?"

He is confused as to why you're looking at him as if he has asked a really stupid question.

"Yes?" He responds hesitantly. 

You sigh once again, this time much louder and in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this," you mutter to yourself before looking at Jimin and he does not miss the gleam in your eyes. 

"Let me spell it out for you, you were an asshole to me," you state, your voice having a certain hint of anger to them. 

"A-Asshole? How?" He stutters, looking even more confused than before. 

"You knew I had feelings for you, but you couldn't give two shits about it. I had no issues with you not liking me back, but rubbing all your sexual escapades on my face, and flirting with me is a total disregard and disrespect to how I feel."

"I didn't–"

"It doesn't take much for someone to realise that. Anyone with the minimum common sense can figure that out for themselves. But just because your feelings have always been shallow does not mean that the people around you are shallow as well."

There are a lot of responses that come to Jimin's mind but he knows none of those are good enough.

"Do you know how much of a fool I felt when you were being ignorant of the fact that I am a person who feels? I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn't even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve."

Each word of yours hits him like a bullet but he thinks this has been a long time coming. He is willing to take as many hits as it requires, but he just hopes this is not the end. That somehow he gets to redeem himself. No matter how difficult it is. 

"But at some point, you realise that you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you. I know how I deserve to be treated and it's obvious that you don't know how to treat a woman with respect. Hence, I'm afraid we can't be….friends anymore." 

You paused briefly before using the word friends as if you were not even sure if that's what you two were. And it sure as hell, makes Jimin feel shittier than he did moments ago. 

Oh my goodness, he really has messed this up, hasn't he? 

When you turn around to leave, Jimin doesn't stop you, knowing very well there's nothing much he can say to prove that you mean much more to him than what he has made you believe. 

So he lets you go. 

But only with the intention of earning your forgiveness.

Kim Taehyung

February

Tae 🐻:  did you reach home?

You: yes, just did!

Tae 🐻: i see

Tae 🐻: take rest and sleep well

Tae 🐻: also, i got a little something for you 

Tae 🐻: *image attached*

On clicking the picture, you're greeted with a small little teddy bear that looks adorable in every way possible.

It brings a smile to your face and there's a part of you that knows that it's his way of apologising for the dimmed smile you had throughout the day. His words may have been upsetting but at least he knows the effect they have had on you. And you know he's sorry for it. Mayhaps, that makes it a bit easier for you.

You: it's cute 

Tae 🐻: i know 

Tae 🐻: that's exactly why it reminded me of you 

You chuckle and shake your head softly.

He never leaves a chance to flirt.

--------------------------------------------------------------

April

You: you won't believe what happened

Tae 🐻: what

Tae 🐻: What

Tae 🐻: WHAAATTTT

You: a cat just snuggled against me.

You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

You: like i used to be so scared of them 

You: but now i think they are just soft little balls of fur

You: now i want a cat for myself

Tae 🐻: this is so cute for some reason

Tae 🐻: i can just imagine your bright excited smile *sighs*

Tae 🐻: I'm glad you are not scared of cats anymore 👍😌

Tae 🐻: but but but 

Tae 🐻: idk how to feel about you getting a cat

Tae 🐻: what if you get one and then your whole attention is on them and then you forget about me 👉👈

You: 🙄

You: is this supposed to be a joke?

You: can i not have a bear and a cat at the same time???? 😒

You: also, don't worry i doubt the cat can ever get as annoying as you're 

You: so in a way, you'll always be special 😌

Tae 🐻: uhh thank you

Tae 🐻: that's very reassuring 🤗💖

You: well why, you're welcome 🤗

-------------------------------------------------------------------

July

Your phone rings making you alert of an incoming call. Checking the screen you realise that it's Tae. 

"Hello?" You greet in a sing-song voice, your mood suddenly turning bright.

"Hello, my lady," he greets back in a British accent. "How have you been?"

"Same old, mate, same old," you sigh, mimicking his accent. "Work has been hectic."

"It's even worse that I haven't seen you for so many days" he huffs, his accent gone and voice sounding whiny and complaining. Something that makes you think he has a cute adorable pout on his face.

"I know, work decided to be the biggest bitch ever," which is why you and Taehyung have not been able to find free time to spend with each other. 

The lunchtime for his department changed, making it impossible to have lunch together. Your department has way more workload than his does and as a result of which, you always have to stay back at least an hour to complete your share of work.

Taehyung doesn't wait for you or for your work to get done. And in a way, you're glad. You can't imagine how tiring it can be to wait a whole hour after a full day of work when you know you have the option to just go home and lay in bed and do nothing. 

Everyone deserves good rest and sleep after spending a whole day in front of a computer and that includes Taehyung. You'd never expect him to wait for you or do anything that would be at the cost of his discomfort.

Anyways, it's not like you and him have been out of touch. You text him about every silly little thing that would occur throughout your day. It could be a lizard staring at you intensely as if judging the way you're brushing your teeth, and Taehyung will be the first person to know about it. Hence, yes you do miss his presence physically but your days have been filled with him. 

You both have chatted for hours on end, sometimes via text, other times on a call.

This time is no different. You two end up talking for a whole hour before, he says something that ends with your heart skipping a few too many beats.

"Hey man, I won't say I love you on the phone," he jokes, but there's just something in those words that tells you he knows this isn't just a joke. "That's not fair to the both of us."

It is said out of nowhere, yet it fits the context of the conversation as well as of the situation you both are in. 

"Umm, w-well, say it in person I guess." Your cheeks warm up, a bashful smile that is so incredibly shy at the same time, adorning your lips.

"So I will," he whispers as if even though you two are only connected via call, he knows how gentle this moment is and what it means to you.

And then, the conversation is loud again. You with your silliness and him playing along with it and laughing loudly at your antiques.

----------------------------------------------------------------

September

"Why do you look down?" You query as you munch on popcorn.

Taehyung shakes his head, denying anything's wrong. "Nothing, I just feel tired, I guess."

Bullshit. You know Taehyung well enough to know when he's lying. His eyes just twinkle in a certain way as if on alert about being caught. 

"Do you want to leave?" You whisper, paying mind to the people around you. The last thing you want is the people in the movie hall shushing you or glaring at you.

He shakes his head, again. This time more vehemently. "No, I want to watch this movie with you."

You sigh but then speak in a gentle tone. "You know you can tell me right? Anything that's bothering you, you can tell me."

Taehyung looks at you and there's that certain look of vulnerability as if he's scared and worried. But whatever it was that he was looking for, he finds it in your eyes. It makes him decide that yes, he can be honest with you.

"Remember Kira? I saw her today and I guess it just triggered something within me."

Kira. 

How can you forget that name? 

Two months in your friendship and the both of you had discussed your lists of shitty exes and Kira was a topic discussed in detail.

Kira was his first and only girlfriend whom he loved a lot. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs but he never let it come in the way. He was there for her in ways you only see in movies and shows. But alas, things did come to an end. 

What hurt Taehyung more than the relationship coming to an end were the comments made by Kira. She didn't stutter while saying that he's just not the kind of guy she's into. He isn't bulky or muscular. He laughs too much and smiles easily. He isn't intimidating and is very gullible and naive. 

That...that was what broke him.

You remember the day he told you about Kira. It had made you so angry. How could anyone ever say something like that about a person? If you're not interested you're most welcome to leave but why go an extra step to be an asshole and scar someone? 

What was worse was the fact that you could tell Taehyung believed in those words. He thought they were a down point to his character and that it made him unlovable. 

It's also since that day, that you have developed this protectiveness over him. He may not see it but he deserves the absolute best. He deserves to know that it isn't difficult to love him at all, in fact, it might just be the easiest thing in the world. 

But right now, you know that her words from the past are probably being repeated in his mind over and over again. Hence, it becomes your goal to make him see that those words are not true. 

"I understand why it may have been triggering for you," you comment taking hold of his hands and playing with his fingers. "But I assure you, she was only being a bitch because she knew she losing a gem."

Taehyung smiles a smile that does not reach his ears. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm not done yet."

For the first time this evening, the briefest spark of amusement enters his gaze. 

"I know she hurt you, but if you need a reminder that what she said to you was total bullshit, I'll serve as one."

Your voice comes out firm but there's that tone of love and affection to it, that is simply unmissable.

"People say and do mean things and they hurt us. But their choice of actions and words define them, not us. At some point, you have got to stop and realise that you can't keep hurting yourself because of what someone has said. It's difficult to do that, I know but that difficulty is worth it. You are worth it."

A small, tiny smile appears on Taehyung's lips at your words. Before he can get the words out to express his gratitude, you're speaking again.

"Also, all those things that she made you feel were unlovable about you, make you just that much more lovable. Because that's what makes you, you."

Once you're done, you feel the insecurity hit you that you may have been a little too passionate or that you went overboard. But Taehyung resting his head on your shoulder and muttering the softest of thank you's makes you relax. 

And that's how you watch the rest of the movie. With his head on your shoulders and him constantly wanting some part of his body to be in touch with yours.

---------------------------------------------------------------

December

You were promoted. 

You won't say it was out of the blue, you had seen it coming. Despite that, being recognised and awarded for your hard work, felt nice. 

But your promotion also meant you were now working in a different branch of your office. Same city, a different building. This also meant the chances of you and Taehyung meeting in between work had slimmed down to zero.

But again, it didn't seem to affect the bond you two shared. You two chatted with each other about your day almost regularly. It just didn't feel right, without telling him about the itsy bitsy details of your day-to-day life. 

It was your second week in the new building and by now you had become comfortable enough with the group of fellow employees you were mingling with, for them to ask the very important question. "Do you have someone special in your life?"

The question was asked in good spirits, with raised eyebrows, teasing smiles and mayhaps with an underlying hope that the answer to the question would be 'no' so that they can set you up with the company sweetheart Jeon Jungkook, who you have a hunch, has a crush on you.

Nevertheless, the question makes you stutter. 

It's not a difficult question to answer if the answer is a simple yes or no. But in your case, it's not so simple. It's complicated. 

But how do you explain it to them? 

You don't even know where you and Taehyung lie. You both have never directly addressed the feelings except once or twice. But what does that mean now? Do you two fall under the category of "more than friends, less than lovers"? 

You don't know.

You don't know if he still has feelings for you. What if it was just a phase and now all that you two are is just good friends? What if you're the only one who keeps thinking of the time you had confessed and what if you're the only one to whom the moments spent with the other, mean something special? 

But what if the opposite is true? What if he still has feelings for you, what if it wasn't just a phase? What if the moments spent with you, mean something to him as well?

Gosh, this indeed is complicated.

You take a deep breath and conclude that irrespective of whatever his feelings for you may be. You're someone who cares for him. A lot. 

You don't want to be someone who hurts him, ever. Knowing of the few instances that he has been hurt and the way he has been hurt, you never want to make him feel like he failed at love again. Or that, he isn't worthy of love. 

You don't want to assume that Taehyung has feelings for you. At the same time, you don't want to assume that he doesn't. Because you know, if you assume that he doesn't have feelings for you and act accordingly, and then it turns out that he still did, he will feel crushed.

"Let's just say, I do have a certain someone," you answer with a shy smile.

Your new coworkers look disappointed for a brief second, most likely because now they won't be able to play matchmakers but the disappointment is soon replaced by excitement. 

Multiple questions are thrown your way to know about this special person and you spend the rest of lunch trying to answer them as swiftly as possible.

--------------------------------------------------------------

February

You: why the 🙄 next to her name?

You ask in reference to him re-posting a status update of a co-worker on Whatsapp. Something about company lunch.

Tae 🐻: cause she's annoying! 

You: lmao why so 😂

Tae 🐻: oh boy she has no respect for boundaries 

Tae 🐻: her jokes are in such poor taste and inappropriate

Tae 🐻: it's just annoying and hence would explain the emoji choice

You: damn 

You: that's harsh 

You: but I'll trust your judgement

Tae 🐻: as you should, yes 😒

You: but this has me curious, if you were to put an emoji next to my name, what would it be? 👀

Tae 🐻: damn that's a good question

Tae 🐻: let me think

Tae 🐻: How about this one? ✨

You: huh? 

You: that's kind of unique 

You: why that one though?

Tae 🐻: because you shine, duh

Tae 🐻: and you light up every room you walk into 

Tae 🐻: and this ✨ just suits you 

Yet again, you feel the familiar warmth in your chest that at this point is just very common every time you talk to him.

But that doesn't make these little moments any less special for you.

------------------------------------------------------------

March.

Work was extra tiring today. You couldn't catch a breather. Couldn't even go to lunch. Stayed back after work till eleven.

And now here you're, finally home.

While having your ramen, you decide to respond to texts that you haven't and so open WhatsApp. 

Once done, you check through the status updates of people. It's always nice to know what fun people have been up to while you were being drained of all energy.

However, you frown when Taehyung's status appears on your screen. There are a few paragraphs written about love and how it can change the way you view life. When the next slide appears, it's a picture of him with a girl. He has his arm casually on the girl's shoulder as they smile at the camera. That added with the heart emoji as the caption causes a weird nervous sensation in your stomach. 

You type out a question as a reply to his status.

You: what is all this about? 😂

You add a laughing emoji next to it just to make sure you sound casual and curious.

Taehyung so happens to be online and his response comes quickly.

Tae 🐻: did you not see my status updates? 😂

Tae 🐻: I'm in a relationship ☺️

And just like that, your hands start shaking and the food in front of you gets forgotten.

Jeon Jungkook

It's been almost a month since you confessed to Jungkook. 

During the first week, you tried to reach out to him because you were so angsty to just get some sort of response. You didn't care if it was in the negative or was harsh. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than him just straight out ignoring your presence as if you never existed. 

You just couldn't understand. Did the friendship you two had mean nothing to him? Did you ever mean anything to him? If you did, how could he possibly treat you this way? Did you not deserve at least a proper explanation as to why he was doing what he was doing?

But after a week, you gave up. Your hurt turned into anger. You didn't care what his possible explanation could be. You did deserve better than this. So you ultimately stopped trying to reach out to him.

It's not like it doesn't bother you. Sometimes, it still does. But the difference is, you have stopped expecting anything from him. And that admittedly, makes it a little easier for you.

"What are we doing today?" Namjoon asks with a bright dimpled smile as he took his seat on the chair. 

"Four short interviews and then a late-night show," you reply, quickly opening your pouches to get out the brushes. 

He sighs. "Another round of answering what our love life looks like."

You snicker, finding it hilarious how done he looks. "Another round of you answering on behalf of the team that you all are a little too busy to find time for dating."

Namjoon shakes his head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know English." 

The thought makes you laugh with your head thrown back.

"Well I can't imagine anyone else being the spokesperson, it would be damn funny."

You really do think that would be the case. Each of the members has a very distinct personality and just imagining what they would be like, is nothing short of amusing to you. 

Your amusement, however, dwindles when your mind comes up with the question about what Jungkook would be like if he were the one translating other members' words into English. But then your mind leads you to imagine how cute his English is, despite being broken. And then your heart ultimately shrank and you had to remind yourself to not think of him.

Namjoon seems to notice your distress and quickly changea the conversation to something else. 

Thankfully, it works. There are no other sad moments where your mind goes to Jungkook and you find yourself enjoying your conversation with Namjoon and that was more than enough. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It's three in the afternoon, you conclude after checking your watch. Which means another interview left and after that the boys can rest, until the late-night show of course. This also, means that there's another hour for you to just relax in the AC room. After that, you will have to get to work to remove Namjoon's makeup.

You lay down on the sofa and scroll through Instagram. What's better entertainment than this? 

Your fingers get to work and start scrolling, one meme after the other. Some you find hilarious, some you need to read twice to get and some you simply roll your eyes at. But you guess, that's just how memes are.

However, it's after a few more posts that you find one which simply makes you blink in disbelief. 

It's a picture from the news outlet dispatch. The picture in question is of Jungkook's with his arms around a woman. On reading the caption you realise that the said woman is, Niki from the girl group JION. And to no one's surprise, the photo has caused a stir on the internet and apparently, everyone's talking about it. 

You exit Instagram and open Google. You search for Jungkook and Niki are immediately met with a bunch of articles. Each of them discusses their possible relationship and whether or not they are dating. 

When you feel like you have had enough of the sick churning of your stomach, you close all apps and just shut your phone. 

Wow. 

This is something.

It leaves you perplexed and with a bunch of emotions, you have no idea how to deal with. 

Was he already seeing the woman when you left that note? Gosh, if that's the case, it would be so embarrassing. 

Is that why he thought it would be best to just get rid of you? Was that why he made that sudden move out of nowhere? Couldn't he just tell you that he is dating someone else? Learning this from a news outlet, for every reason, feels painful.

It's not even the fact that he is dating someone. It's just the fact that you both have become such strangers that he feels like a distant person you once used to know. All because you decided to trust him with your feelings.

But most likely it didn't matter. Your feelings didn't matter. You're someone who's always behind the scenes, someone who no one knows. But him? He is the world-renowned artist. He is the one who earns in millions and has an army of fangirls, quite literally. Why should he waste his time caring about how you feel? More importantly, why did you expect him to? 

It was undoubtedly a mistake on your part to have trusted him. As they say, expectations lead to heartbreaks and maybe you had to learn it the hard way. 

But that doesn't mean the pain is anywhere near acceptable. You needed a way to vent your anger, so you do the only thing that comes to your mind.

You block him on all social media sites.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks since the rumour about Jungkook and Niki dating begun and it's still all over the net. Why, you ask? Because the two people involved in the matter aren't helping their case at all. 

They have been spotted several times together and thus have been fuelling the rumours further. 

It angered you. Weren't idols supposed to be very careful about their relationships? Why were then, these two, flaunting their relationship for the world to see?

You're aware you sound bitter and ridiculous because no one should have to hide if they are dating someone but you just can't help yourself. No matter how hard you try, news about Jungkook and Niki would somehow or the other appear on your feed, be it on insta or Google. It just became unavoidable as these two were everywhere.

The comments didn't help either. People adored them. 

Apparently, these two were the perfect match for each other. Both maknaes of their individual groups and both fan favourites. 

It made it suck all the more for you. 

Argh. 

"Have you seen my chapstick?" Namjoon asks as soon as he enters the room. "Hobi just lectured me about how I should always keep my lips moisturised." 

"It should be in the drawer," you reply and get up to look for the chapstick. "Let me check once."

As it turns out, it indeed was in the drawer. You hand the small tube to him and as soon as you take a seat again, the door swings open to reveal someone you would have never imagined seeing. 

Niki.

"Namjoon oppa," she smiled, putting her dimples on display. "I was looking for you."

Namjoon turned around at the sound of his name. His expression too turns into that of surprise when he realises who it is. "Niki! I didn't know you'd be coming."

Huh, makes the two of us. 

The two idols chit chat and you ignore all of it. Simply, because they seem to get along really well and if there's one thing you know about Namjoon it's how protective he is of all the members. But if he likes and approves of Niki, well you guess she and Jungkook might just be the perfect match. 

It's not like Niki totally ignores your presence. She shoots you a smile that's sweet and warm, and you smile at her right back. Your's looking a tad bit less sincere.

Thankfully, whatever conversation the two of them were having soon comes to an end and Niki leaves the room. 

As soon as it is just you and Namjoon, you blurt out the question you have been wanting to ask for a long time. 

"Are they really dating?" 

Namjoon doesn't seem too surprised by your question, if anything he looks like he expected it. However, he does look hesitant to answer. "Umm, yes they are."

Shit. 

You don't know why you had to ask the question but you did, and now you got your pretty little confirmation and now you're hurting again. 

Well, shit, indeed.

But but but, why was Namjoon hesitant to answer? Was he perhaps aware you had feelings for Jungkook? Had Jungkook told him the reason of requesting a change? 

Fuck, you should really have kept your curiosity to yourself because now your mind is running wild and it's not helping you at all. 

"But, I don't think it's anything serious," Namjoon adds after a beat of silence then nods as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to say.

It makes you even more paranoid that Namjoon knows about your little more than crush on Jungkook and it makes you want to flee from the spot. 

"Uhmmm, I need to pee," you squeak out and immediately shut your eyes because gosh that was stupid. 

"Uhh, okay." Thankfully, Namjoon isn't weirded out by your silly choice of words. Instead, he looks amused and there might have been something else in his gaze but you are too embarrassed to take notice.

You quickly leave the room and rush your way to the washroom. As soon as you're in, you splash your face with water.

What the fuck? Does Namjoon know? Does it mean that the other members know too? How are you ever going to face them again? 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is no good. You should have never confessed. You should never have listened to those excited beats of your heart and to those fluttering butterflies. Look where it got you.

"Don't worry about it, babe. It's all cool, it's all under control now." A voice reaches your ears from one of the stalls in the washroom. 

You assume the woman must be talking on the phone and you ignore it.

"Yes, I know how you feel about it but trust me this whole thing with Jungkook should be over in like a few weeks."

Now, that has your ears all perked up in attention. 

"You know, I don't even like him like that."

What. The. Fuck. 

"I'm not mad at you for it, relax babe, I love you."

And just like that, you hear the toilet flush and the doorknob jiggling followed by Niki stepping out. 

You pour the liquid soap on your hand and wash your hands with them just to look like you weren't eavesdropping on her conversation with her babe. 

Although, could it really be called eavesdropping when she was speaking so loudly? 

Thankfully, Niki doesn't find your behaviour suspicious and leaves the washroom with a small smile lingering on her lips. 

Uhh okay then. 

This is something. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the shock dials down and you could think, you knew you had to tell someone. 

You don't know what and how to say, though. You can't just claim that Niki is cheating on Jungkook, despite your initial assumption being that. Because people call their siblings babe too right? Or their best friends? Yes, you can't just assume that she's having an affair behind everyone's back. 

But what you're plenty sure of and have heard Niki admitting is that she does not have feelings for Jungkook. What the heck is going on then? 

Before your mind can start running in circles, the door swings open announcing someone's arrival. Much to your relief, it's Namjoon, someone you can be honest with, without worrying about the technicalities. 

"Listen, I need to talk to you about something," you say, your voice coming out nervous yet firm.

Namjoon takes notice of your nervousness and smiles at you warmly, hoping to put you at ease. "Sure, go ahead."

"I went to the washroom and uhm, I heard Niki talking on the phone about something and I think you should know about it."

A small frown appears on Namjoon's face because of all things, he did not expect that what you had to say was anything related to Niki. He, however, keeps quiet and gives you an encouraging hum to go on. 

"I–She told someone over the phone that she doesn't really have feelings for Jungkook."

Namjoon looks as shocked as you had been but his shock wears off much much quicker than yours did. 

For the first time, he looks a little awkward having this conversation. Scratching the back of his neck, he gives you a small awkward chuckle. "I see what you're saying."

Your first thought to this reaction is that he does not believe you. It would make sense for that to be the case if Jungkook really had told Namjoon about the note. But that does not mean you don't feel incredibly offended and hurt right now. Just because you liked Jungkook does not mean you'd be lying. Is that how much faith Namjoon had in you?

"I'm not lying!" Your voice doesn't hide the emotions you're feeling, not that you were trying to hide them anyway. 

Namjoon's eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant."

You cross your arms and look at him with a scowl, refusing to believe his words. "What did you mean then?" 

He yet, again looks a little sheepish as he answers, "It's just that I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything to me," you reply without missing a beat. "This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Jungkook. Tell him that this girl probably has some ulterior motives or something. Save him from the heartbreak he will inevitably go through when he comes to that realisation himself."

"You're right, that's exactly what I should do." Something in Namjoon seems to click and he nods. "Wait, I'll be right back."

Just like that, he's walking out in a hurry leaving you all alone in the room. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's been fifteen minutes since Namjoon left. 

At first, you were walking with hurried steps from one end of the room to the other but then your anxiety got too much for you and you decided to sort out the skincare items and put them in place. 

Productivity is better than burning calories by walking in circles in a room. Right?

You were only putting the new moisturizer in the drawer when someone clears their throat to announce their presence. 

It rightfully startles you and you let out a small yelp. 

However, when you realise who the person standing in front of you is, it makes your stomach sink. 

Jungkook. 

The same Jungkook you have been avoiding for weeks. Not that it was difficult though, he had never really made any effort to reach out to you. But whatever. 

You swiftly look away from him and get back to work, not wanting to pay him any attention. Why should you? You're not his makeup artist anymore, he does not have any business to be here. 

"Umm, I need to talk to you about Niki." 

You don't respond.

Your silence is met with a sigh from Jungkook. 

"Hyung told me what you heard Niki say. Ummm can you please not share it with anyone else?" 

Maybe it was something about the way the words were phrased but they did not sit well with you.

Your hands pause and a scoff of disbelief makes its way past your lips. Is...is that what he wanted to talk to you about? 

That too, of all things to ask you to not tell others about it? As if you had told Namjoon about it to spread some sort of gossip. The only reason you bothered with it was because....well, you were worried for Jungkook. 

But imagine caring about someone despite being treated the way Jungkook treated you and then that person coming to talk to you for the first time in weeks only to tell you not to get involved. As if it was by choice. 

One thing was for sure, you were this close to letting out the words you have been holding in for a long long time. Your position as a makeup artist be damned. 

"It's just that if word gets out she will be framed as the wrong guy."

She....she will be the one framed as the wrong guy? And you being the one who could potentially do it, doesn't make you sound like the villain? What he's saying is you could do something that could end up making Niki the victim.

That's it. You have had enough. 

"Do you even know what you're saying?"  You speak the words out with your tone laced with every bit of anger you have been keeping in for weeks. 

Jungkook winces. "I do–"

"Let me finish. I have no business telling people what I heard Niki speak on the phone with lord knows who. Heck, if I was selfish I would have just stayed out of it because who's gonna believe my words against those millions of articles and fans shipping you two? But the only reason I thought you should know about it is because what if you really loved her or something? Knowing it later when you're much more invested would be way more painful and crushing." 

Something enters in his gaze but you're too furious to notice or to even pause to give him the time to form a response.

"Not to mention that you treated me like trash. Didn't bother talking to me. Changed your staff without giving a proper reason. Heck, I might just be a make-up artist and you might be a world-renowned artist but I thought we were more than that," for the first time since you started speaking, your voice goes quiet. "To me, you were more than the idol everyone sees. Maybe that's why I assumed I was also someone more than just a make-up artist to you."

"But I guess I was wrong," your voice cracks and as soon as the sound of your wavering voice reaches your ears, you know it's time to shut up. Because no way in hell are you going to cry in front of Jungkook. 

But somehow that single voice crack says a lot.

You have seen Jungkook cry in pain and frustration. You have seen him laugh until his stomach started to hurt. You have seen him drink until he's all giggles and smiles. Those moments had led you to believe that you two were friends, at least. But then if you two ever were friends, he has disrespected that friendship way too much for you to be calm about it.

Jungkook looks at the ground as if it would magically give him the answer to the question of what he should do now. When it doesn't, Jungkook battles himself and ultimately decides that it's best for him to simply say the truth.

He has complicated things enough.

"Niki and I aren't dating." 

------------------------------------------------------

Permanant Taglist:

@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07 @chimchimmarie

Fic Taglist:

@coffeedepressionsoup @perfectlyfangirling @armydgirl

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook scenarios #Jungkook reactions #Jimin x Reader #Jimin angst #Jimin reaction #Jimin scenarios #Jimin au #Fuckboy Jimin #Idol Jungkook #Taehyung x Reader #Taehyung angst #Taehyung fluff #Taehyung scenarios #Taehyung au #Co-worker Taehyung

[hwa-whiskers]

A Dirty Little Secret Pt. 2

Summary: Having a crush on your roommate who was the fuckboy of your university was bad enough, but what gets worse is when he brings other women home and you secretly masturbated upon hearing them that night, wishing it were you instead. But how will it unfold when Seonghwa finds out?

Warnings/Genre: smut. Fuckboy!seonghwa. Dom!seonghwa. Submissive reader. Dirty talk. Inexperienced reader. Masturbation. Fingering. Angst. Praising.

Word Count: 5K

Pt.1

PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU DON’T LIKE THESE TYPE OF FAN-FICTIONS! (SMUT AHEAD! MINORS DNI)

She then starts crawling towards Seonghwa as the group grows silent. 

Your chest grew heavier because what she said was indeed the truth. You weren’t experienced, you literally laid back there while Seonghwa barely touched you and you were already wanting more from him. 

Not even knowing if he actually enjoyed it at all. Your face turns gloomy as the thumping in your chest doesn’t go away. 

“Why don’t we have Seonghwa rate Sola’s kiss vs. her?” 

One of the other girls spoke out and you felt so called out, you hated how you couldn’t say anything back, but deep down you knew you weren’t good enough

You wanted to get out of here, and that’s what you did. 

“I have to go.” You quickly stood up, not sparing anyone a glance and grabbed your bag. You ran as fast as you could, not looking back at all.

“Y/n!” You hear Jongho’s voice call out to you, but you were too embarrassed to turn back now. 

The group starts getting chaotic as the other boys were confused and the girls start talking over one another. 

“Kiss! Kiss!” It is all that can be heard as you slam the door shut, running away as quick as you can.

*10 minutes later*

You took a deep breath once you were away from Jongho’s house, already reaching your shared apartment.

“Y/N!” Jongho catches up to you and your tears begin falling from your eyes again. “I want to be alone for now…” You tell him, slowly walking away and he lets you go, knowing he can’t stop you.

It was probably around 2am when you woke up, feeling thirsty after crying your eyes out. You squint your eyes, trying to make sense of the dark room and slowly made your way to open the door.

Your bedroom is directly faced to the livingroom and the moment you opened it, you made eye contact with the devil himself.

Seonghwa was silently flipping through the channels while he laid on the sofa looking tirelessly.

Fuck! You can’t just shut the door anymore and so you acted like nothing happened, you had to be quick.

You played off the small eye contact and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and looking for a bottle of water.

You bent over to look inside the refrigerator to really confirm that there was no more water. You then sighed in frustration as Seonghwa mumbled something. 

“Huh?” You looked up to see him waving a waterbottle. “Last one.” 

You gulped and almost choked on your barely existent saliva. “Give it to me.” You shut the refrigerator door and was on a mission to get that water. 

You tried snatching it away from his hands, but he moved it towards a different direction. “I drank it already.” He explains, but your throat didn’t give a shit about that.

“Okay and?” You swiftly got a hold of the waterbottle and succeeded in retrieving it. You downed that bottle like it was your last and finally exhaled after the last drop. 

You wiped your lips and looked down at Seonghwa who seems to be very quiet now.

You looked down and then realized that you were only wearing a t-shirt and panties, not even knowing how long Seonghwa must’ve stared at you.

Your eyes widened as your cheeks started to get warmer from blushing so hard. “Are you trying to tease me?” Seonghwa’s fingers run through his messy hair as he keeps strict eye contact with your lower body, sending chills down your spine.

The memories of what you guys did in that room starts coming back to you, unfortunately also bringing back the humiliation you felt after the girls asked Seonghwa to rate your kiss with that girl. You dropped the waterbottle down to your side as an obvious pout forms on your lips.

You then looked up at him and notice a hickey on his collarbone, further confirming that they made out once you were gone from Jongho’s house. You glared at the bruise on his neck and Seonghwa could sense your withdrawal.

“Did you guys make out?” Your mouth is saying shit before you can even let it process in your brain first. You internally slap yourself, feeling stupid for asking in the first place.

“What are you talking about?” Seonghwa seems to be taking an interest in your question and looks like he’s even enjoying it? 

“Seonghwa, you know who.” Your words slurred a little as you started playing with your fingers to distract yourself from his intense gaze. 

“Are you talking about when we were at Jongho’s house?” Seonghwa tilts his head and makes sure to do it in a way so that he would catch your attention. His whole existence makes you nervous goddamnit.

Silence prevailed as he waited for a response, pressuring you to nod at him helplessly.

Seonghwa lays back on the couch casually as he started chuckling and you were beginning to get impatient.

“What?” You responded with a little bit of attitude, because you don’t appreciate the way he’s handling this conversation.

“Kitten…” It’s that nickname again. You clearly know that he’s just saying that to lure you in, but the way it slips off his tongue so easily makes your body freeze in submission.

“If you stayed long enough you would’ve known that...” Seonghwa stands up from the couch and starts walking towards you, leaning downward so he could whisper in your ears, “...we didn’t kiss.” He leans away and you’re only a few inches away from kissing those lips once again.

You gulped at the sight of him, licking your lips discreetly, but Seonghwa’s watching you like a hawk so that scene makes him chuckle. However, you weren’t done with the conversation just yet. 

“Then what’s that.” You point to the hickey and Seonghwa looks down to see the mark on his collarbone.

Like okay, Seonghwa is a fuckboy, but you never saw him with any marks from any of the girls he had slept with. You have heard others say that he doesn’t allow hickeys because he didn’t belong to anyone. He wanted that message to be out and clear, but why would he suddenly have marks on his body? It didn’t make sense. 

Seonghwa gracefully touched the mark with his fingertips before grabbing onto your hand that was still pointing towards him.

“This?” He makes you touch the mark while locking eyes with you, never looking away once and you felt this urge of jealousy that was burning in your body. 

How could he make you touch a mark that was made by another woman’s lips? You felt so disgusted and grossed out so you immediately broke away from him. “I don’t want to touch something so dirty.”

“Oh…dirty?” Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow, staring at you in disbelief. He then breaks into a dry and dark chuckle that made your heart drop.

“These hands…” He once again grabbed onto your fingers, ever so gently, however you knew it was far from that.

“They should be considered dirty too then.” Seonghwa had a mischievous smile on his lips that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

“Why are you bringing my fingers into this? It has nothing to do with you.” You frowned and made sure to look at him confidently, not knowing where he was getting at.

“Really?” He asks once again and you’re starting to feel nervous, blinking multiple times so you can avoid his eye contact.

“You played with yourself with these little fingers of yours, no?” The smile on his face completely disappears as his eyes narrowed down on you, making you feel so vulnerable under his threatening stares as he put you on the spot.

You gasped, eye widening as sweat came dripping down your face. He’s not talking about THAT night, right? You breathed heavily as your eyes started shaking in fear. How would he know that? You remember correctly that you had left for your room already. 

“I see you recalled your actions.” Seonghwa licked his lips as he stared at your fingers intently, and it made your body burn in embarrassment. You hated how easily he could read you. 

However, your panties were getting soaked to every words that came out of this man’s lips every second. The control and power he had over your body was immense.

“Don’t turn this on me.” You defended with a wavering voice, but you knew he had already won.

“Oh kitten, you should’ve seen the huge mess you made in the bathroom that night.” Seonghwa runs his fingertips against your thighs, biting his lips sensually as he stared down on you.

“...how your cum was all over the toilet seat…” He then plays with the strands of your hair so gently, but you knew he could destroy you if he wanted to and the curiosity of it was slowly killing you.

“It was just inviting me to come….” Seonghwa’s fingers grabbed onto your chin as he stared down at your shaking eyes. “..and fuck you dumb.”

The only thing you can sense from him was lust and sexual desires as you tried to steady your breathing.

You only stayed silent under his gaze, not able to speak at all because it was the truth. You desperately needed him, you couldn't deny it. 

“You must’ve slept with your cunt dripping wet…” Seonghwa’s harsh words only turned you on even more as he began to pat your head nicely. 

“Lay down, kitten.” Seonghwa tucks your hair behind your ears as you obeyed his orders obediently, wanting him to destroy you already.

“Good girl.” He combs your hair with his fingers and swiftly takes off your underwear altogether as you hiss at the cold air hitting your heated core, shyly closing your legs. 

Seonghwa massages your thighs before slowly spreading them apart while keeping eye contact with you, “Don’t hide from me….”  He leaves a trail of kisses against your thighs while capturing the faces you make when you’re under his touch, it was driving him crazy and you didn’t even know it.

“Beautiful…” Seonghwa’s tongue gracefully landed on your inner thighs, sucking and biting the area…just abusing the skin as it turned into dark hickeys. 

“Hmm..” Your brows knitted together as you opened your mouth with a light gasp. It felt amazing, but it clearly wasn’t the spot you needed him and he knows that too. He deviously continues to suck your inner thighs before placing wet kisses to finish off the fresh marks.

“Seonghwa, I can’t anymore…please.” Your hips squirmed as he lifts his head up, making you whine at the loss of contact. “Here?”

He teases as his thumb makes direct contact on your clit, sending an amazing shock of pleasure through your body. 

You nodded at the feeling and Seonghwa continued to tease your throbbing entrance with light taps of his fingers only. “Hmmm!” Your thighs clenched, but he keeps his grip on you strong so you can’t close it entirely and it was driving you crazy.

“You’re coating my fingers so well, kitten.” Seonghwa whispered into your ears, further teasing you as you whined in response.

“Hwa…” Your hands flew to your throbbing cunt, trying to relieve yourself, making Seonghwa glare at your fingers. He quickly pins them over your head before pushing two fingers into your cunt unannounced. 

You gasped with pleasure as you started moving your own hips to match his pace. “So dirty…”

Seonghwa licks his lips and continues to watch you wither in a state of euphoria. “Couldn’t even wait patiently.” His voice was so deep as it echoed into your ears, but the problem was that he didn’t move at all. His fingers were now inside you, where you needed him most, but you were not satisfied. 

You whined at the lack of movement from his fingers and he loved how you squirmed so much for him.

“Hwa…I want you.” Your chest heaved up as a sigh of frustration and droplets of sweat fell down from your face.

“Yeah?” Out of nowhere, Seonghwa suddenly thrusts his fingers inside of you, making you moan but he doesn’t let that go on for too long because he quickly takes out his fingers from your entrance entirely within seconds, leaving you completely helpless…and empty once again.

“Hwa!” You're a hot mess, sweating and breathing harshly, at the mercy of Seonghwa’s godly fingers, but fuck! You want him so bad. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Seonghwa whispered slowly, sending chills down your thighs as your body shook at the sound of his voice.

His fingers then rub against your folds in a circular motion that’s driving you over the edge, you could hear the sound of your own slick that were dripping out of yourself.

You whined at the lack of touch despite you being so ready for him.

Watching you shudder in obedience was a sight Seonghwa could only dream of, but now here you were….at the mercy of his fingers.

“Can’t cum yet, kitten.” Seonghwa sucks his fingers one more time, making sure you watch him coat his slender fingers with his own saliva and inserting them inside you ever so gently. 

“Ahh…” you moaned, hands grabbing onto the sheets of your bed as your head shook from side to side, trying your best to stop yourself from climaxing because you wanted to prove to Seonghwa that you could last longer. 

His hands moved in a vibrated motion that made you tightened around his fingers, not able to hold on any longer.

“I-I’m going to cum!” You warned him before staring into his flaring eyes, full of passion and he gave you a nod.

“Cum for me.” He commanded and that was the last thing you remembered before letting yourself go and falling into your own state of bliss.

You breathed heavily, sweating all over your body as Seonghwa takes his fingers out of you, licking every drop of it, not wasting anything. 

“Fuck…” You whimpered at the scene of him cleaning his fingers from the mess you made and now you couldn’t wait to be filled up properly by him.

If he could make you feel this good with his fingers, how would it be if you two went through the whole process? You crave for more and become needier every passing second. 

“What’s with that look?” Seonghwa grabs one of your thighs and you couldn’t help but moan a little at the slight friction. You were determined to take him as you stared at him desperately, giving him the wide kitten eyes so he’d give in to you. 

“Ready for me?” Hwa teases while rubbing his sticky fingers against your folds, causing you to roll your head back in pleasure. 

Your hips start grinding towards his touch and it made him chuckle. “You want me to fuck you now?” You bit your lips and nodded at his dirty question, but of course Seong fucking Hwa was not satisfied.

He shakes his head as one of his fingers comes up to trace your lips. “I wanna hear you say it, kitten.”

Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow as your cunt continued to throb for him.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you pouted at him. “I…I want you Seonghwa…”

You barely managed those words when he grabs your jaw in one palm, pulling your face towards his as he tilted his head slowly.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” The only look he had on his face right now was stoic and expressionless. You wanted to satisfy him and so you could only gulp before making eye contact with him again. “I’m ready for you to fuck me now.” 

“Good kitten.” Seonghwa’s once cold features relaxes into a sly smile as he praises you and it felt encouraging to be acknowledged by him.

He takes you by your hand and you tilt your head in confusion, as to where he was taking you. 

“You want me to fuck you here?” Seonghwa says so casually that it brings a blush to your cheeks, making you look around the area to see that y’all were only on the couch. 

Not wanting to have your first time on a beat up couch, you nodded and followed him innocently.

He guides you to his room as he gently intertwined his fingers with yours before laying you down completely on the bed. “Seonghwa…”

“Hmm?” He hovers over your body and leans close to you so he can listen to what you have to say, sending butterflies to your tummy,

“I really want you…” You couldn’t look him in the eye and he wanted to assure you so he placed kisses on your face gently.

“Ready?” Hwa makes sure to ask one more time before proceeding and you wrap your arms around his neck, nodding for confirmation.

You could feel his tip at your entrance as he was rubbing it against your folds,  gathering your juices as your toes curled in anticipation.

Seonghwa pushes himself inside as your smaller hands grasped onto his, “Hmmm…” You moaned at the strange feeling, but it felt so right to finally be with him. 

Hwa slowly pushed himself inside even further, catching you off guard as you thought he was fully inside already.

Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he waited for you to give him the signal.

Seonghwa was so used to doing it however he wanted, but with you, he made you his first priority.

“Seonghwa…it feels good…” You barely let out as his full length was fully inside, giving your throbbing walls something to clench on.

“Fuck!” Seonghwa’s cock twitches inside you, causing you to slide yourself closer towards him and wanting more.

“Kitten, you’re squeezing me so perfectly.” He praises and you melted at those pretty words of his.

“This is mine.” Hwa demanded as he brought your legs over his shoulders and thrusts inside you sensually, sending you over the edge.

“Hwa! I-I’m coming!” You mumbled and were surprised to know that Seonghwa understood you.

He continued to thrust inside you at a fast pace, bringing the two of you to your climaxes. 

Your body shook in pleasure as the feeling of euphoria took over. Seonghwa grunts beside you, moaning in your ears as he spills his hot cum all over your stomach.

“Shit.” Hwa finally says after he realizes what he did. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask-“

You dipped your fingers in his cum and took a taste of it, out of curiosity. 

You licked it and upon tasting it, you make eye contact with him. Your innocent eyes and pure curiosity was killing him inside. He wanted to ruin your innocence if you’d let him.

It was then that you see the switch in Hwa’s eyes as he starts crawling over to you, hovering over your naked body.

“Only I can fuck you like this, got that?” Seonghwa cups your jaw with one hand and you start hiccuping, intimidated but also aroused by his presence.

“Hwa…you know I only want you-“ Seonghwa doesn’t waste any time kissing your lips and turning it into a small make out sesh.

Fuck. You’re scared that you might regret this decision later, but right now…all of that doesn’t matter because Park Seonghwa was holding you in his arms.

His hold on you was warm and cozy as you slowly drifted off to sleep, feeling nothing but warmth and love.

*A Few Weeks Later*

You were at a cafe chilling with some friends you made after getting paired up on a past assignment. 

“I’ve been so busy, I haven’t been able to check up on y’all!” Ari says after taking a seat beside you as the waiter came to take your orders.

“It’s fine! We’ve all been busy!” Runa responded, waving her hand in front of her chest as you nodded. 

“The usual?” The waiter asked, making eye contact with Runa as he smiled charmingly. 

Ari and you elbowed one another like little girls who were having fun teasing their friend who was talking to her crush,  snickering quietly.

“Yes…t-the usual.” Runa plays with her hair and you knew she was highly interested in this guy by the way she fluttered her eyes shyly.

“I’ll get a mocha latte.” Ari says, making the two of them break eye contact. You smirked and cocked an eyebrow towards Runa and you can see her face turning into the color of a tomato.

“And I’ll get a _____. Thank you.” You finished your sentence as he grabbed the menu from you and walked away.

The three of you immediately start giggling as Ari starts pressing for Runa to spill the tea!

“Excuse me? The usual?! Miss girl, how long have you been coming  here to the point where he can recognize you?” Ari shook her hands excitedly as you anticipated for Runa’s answer. 

“I just came by a few times because it’s right next to where I work.” Runa looks away as the both of you start chuckling in disbelief

. “A few times…” You sarcastically repeated after her and Ari shook her head with a smile. 

“We saw how y’all looked at each other.” You whispered to them both as the guy passed by to deliver the drinks for other customers sitting nearby.

“There’s literally nothing to explain guys. I just come here pretty often and he just…somehow remembers me.” Runa explains once more, shifting in her seat as Ari pats her head.

“And here we thought she was gonna be single forever.” You giggled at Ari’s comment as Runa starts to playfully act like she was gonna fight y’all.

“Here are your drinks.” The guy comes back as the three of y’all quiet down and thanked him.

You could see the lingering eyes he had for her. It made you wonder if Seonghwa could ever look at you like that too. Wishing how’d it be if Seonghwa only had eyes for you…..

“So what about you?” Ari takes a sip of her drink as the two of them shift their focus onto you, catching you off guard.

“H-huh?” You snapped out of it and looked at them confusingly.

“Do you have anyone you’re interested in?” Ari pressed on further as you can only blink blankly at her.

“Or anyone that you’re seeing?” Runa decides to join in on the fun now since it wasn’t focused on her anymore. Shit. How you wished you didn’t tease Runa about her and the guy.

You didn’t have the guts to say anything because you knew the relationship status of you and Seonghwa. You didn’t have the right to mention him because he isn’t yours….

“No one.” You shook your head quickly and took a sip of your drink, trying to look away to avoid any further questions.

“Y/n, you can’t lie to save your own life.” Ari jokes, leaning her body towards you.

“No, it’s just that you look much happier. Your eyes are glowing with a spark I’ve never seen before and you’re smiling a lot!” Runa adds, making you feel much more anxious because it made you realize that this relationship you have with Seonghwa would just be a phase.

You and Seonghwa never made it official. He never said anything and you didn’t want to press further because you were scared. You were scared that he’d drop you the moment you asked for confirmation. 

Without this solid relationship, you didn’t have the confidence to say that Seonghwa was yours. You couldn’t….

“Seriously guys, there is no one.” You lied once again, knowing that if you told them the truth they’d tell you to get away from Seonghwa and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

A few hours went by and the two of them were about to go home, waving goodbye to the both of them as they got into Runa’s car.

“Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” Runa asked one last time, worried that you’d be alone at night but you nodded, making sure that you’re fine.

“Yeah! I’m actually heading somewhere with another friend. See ya next time.” You waved at them and Ari waved back as Runa started driving away.

You lowered your hand that was waving towards them down to your side, feeling guilty and the pressure slowly seep in. 

After that night with Seonghwa, nothing has changed much…except that now it seems like the two of you were fuck buddies. 

He’d come home and y’all would talk and cuddle, then fuck. It was like a cycle. Neverending. 

After meeting with Ari and Runa, it really brought you back to reality. 

In the end of the day, you didn’t want to be used by Seonghwa. Even thought you liked him very much, you couldn’t continue to lie to yourself anymore.

You stumbled upon a bar and your feet just took you right in as you sat by the bar, ordering whatever was on the special menu.

You don’t remember how much you’ve drank anymore, you just kept downing cups after cups. 

“Y/n?” You hear someone say your name, but you didn’t give two shits at this point.

“Bottoms up!” You down the last cup on your hand and finished it all in one gulp. 

 “Yah! You’re gonna get drunk again!” The man takes away the alcohol from you, stopping you from drinking more.

“Who are you?” You looked at him and closely examined him, although the background looked hazy and blurry, you could make out who it was. 

“YUNHO!” You clapped happily and hugged him, dragging his tall body towards you from the neck as Yunho started choking.

He somehow unwrapped himself from your grabby hands and cuffed them together with his own. “Why are you drinking alone? What if someone just took advantage of you?” He scolded and you shrugged, trying your best to squirm away from his grasp.

“But you’re here now right? Just take me home like last time.” You pretended to gasp, making Yunho look over his shoulders and you took the opportunity to down another drink, wanting to just drown yourself in alcohol as you stress over the thoughts of you and Seonghwa.

“Yah! You sneaky little!” Yunho shook his head as you stuck out your tongue at him, making him have to step away and calm himself down.

“Let’s go.” He grabbed you and you didn’t really have the power to fight back. Even your body gave up on you, you knew you were tired and needed sleep.

Yunho opened the passenger’s seat and you climbed in, resting your head on the window as you hear Yunho get in.

“What is she yapping about. I didn’t take her home last time.” Yunho states confusingly before starting the engine. 

“Yes you did, stupid. During you party…”

“Why would I leave my own party to take you home, idiot.”

 “Huh!? But that doesn’t add up to what Jongho told me…”

“Well, I was going to take you home but Seonghwa just took you away stating that you both were roommates anyways so I figured that’d be fine.”

“So….you’re telling me I wasn’t dreaming?” 

*Flashback* Cue

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You were so shocked you almost became sober.

You literally confessed to Seonghwa, kissed him and….No wonder he was saying it wasn’t your first kiss at Jongho’s house. Everything was adding up.

You shook your head, covering your face out of embarrassment while Yunho tries to calm you down, but this only makes you think deeper. If you confessed to Seonghwa then how come he hasn’t made it official with you? Or said anything about it?

You mouth dropped as you tried to take your seatbelt off. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going back in-”

Yunho was tired of your shit so he sped up and didn’t let your ass leave till he reached your shared apartment.

The vision of the hazy road became blurry until it all faded to black and you were out.

A little while later, you felt a soft warm towel, gently scrubbing your neck as you slightly opened your eyes to see Seonghwa washing you off.

You gasp and immediately sat up, covering yourself as Seonghwa held onto your hand.

“Why didn’t you let me know that you’d be out so late?” His voice was so gentle, if you didn’t know him, you’d think he was the sweetest thing for asking this.

“I don’t have to.” You words were sharp and cold, emotionless because of your broken heart.

“Y/n, you had me so worried and you didn’t even answer your phone too.” Hwa holds onto your shoulders, making you face him but you could only look away.

“Don’t.” Your tears were threatening to all from your eyes as your breath became unsteady.

“Don’t say stuff like that when we both know that you don’t want me.” You pushed his hands away from you body and turned away from his gaze.

“What are you talking about? I do want you.” Seonghwa kisses your hands, giving you his big pouty eyes. However, you knew in your heart that he doesn’t mean it like the same way you do.

“I don’t want to only be used by you.” You break away from him, folding your arms in your chest.

“I want to call you mine and be yours only. I don’t want to have to share you or compete with others to get your attention.” You finally turned towards him, feeling the confidence to look up at him as you were stating what you needed.

“I want a relationship where I can confidently tell others about. I want us to be a conversation where we can see a future within. Not something that’s just in the moment.”

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed sadly as he gave you the most sorrowful look you could imagine. That breaks the wall to your heart as tears start falling down from your eyes.

Fuck. You knew it. He didn’t want to commit to this relationship. You covered your eyes as silence prevailed, nothing but only an embrace?

You looked up to see Seonghwa wrapping you in his arms, tightly holding you so close. “I’m sorry if I ever made you think that way.”

Seonghwa grabs you by your cheeks, kissing your tears away as he whispered sweet nothings into your ears. “It’s my fault you’re thinking that way. I should’ve told you I love you.”

You looked at him taken aback and unsure of it all. Seonghwa kisses your forehead before settling on holding your hands. “I thought you were already mine from that night.” 

Seonghwa picks you up by wrapping his hands around legs, right under you butt cheeks, laying you back on the bed.

“I was already in love with you, Y/n…”

“The way you’d get up in the morning with only a shirt and panties. It always drove me so crazy….” Seonghwa kisses you, placing your hands beside you.

“The way you’d giggle over the stupidest thing I’d say…It was the cutest thing.” He plants kisses on your cheeks once more and you felt so showered in love and attention.

“But why didn’t you say anything….” You asked, a little bit bothered on why he kept your drunk confession a secret.

“It was cute seeing you get frustrated over a hickey you made.” Seonghwa laughed and your eyes widened. 

So he’s telling you that YOU were the one to made that hickey on his neck? AND he let you?!

You squealed a little as the confirmation from the hickey made you realize that he had let you in his heart from that night you confessed to him already. 

You finally took the initiative to peck his lips shyly, making him smile mischievously. 

“That was barely a kiss….” Seonghwa teases and you knew that from now on you could rightfully call him yours.

“Mine.” You touched his luscious lips before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him more properly this time..knowing you had all the time in the world.

“Love you. Kitten.” Seonghwa places a kiss to your forehead, making you smile like it was the best day of your life. You’re so fucking glad Seonghwa found out what you did that night.

Although, it started out as an embarrassing secret…it led you two to be where y’all are right now. You couldn’t be more grateful.

“Now go to sleep. I’m taking you somewhere tomorrow!” Seonghwa puts you to sleep, but you got too excited upon hearing that.

“Where are we going!?” You sat up, eyes widening as you waited for his answer.

Seonghwa chuckled before patting your head gently, “It’s a secret, my love…..”

The End!!!!

A/N: Please re-blog or heart it for my motivation, they really help! I also appreciate reading your thoughts and reactions as well, so don’t be shy and message me or comment them down here! Love you lots!

Sorry if I forgot to tag you. >_<

taglist: @hwalysm @spiderrenjunfics @eastleighsblog @jenotation@yunhofingers @s3onghwaswifey @justineasian @woosmaid @heycozy @luvly-wy @han8ul @singabeat1 @s10an @heycozy @luvly-wy @han8ul @ethicalz @mayosgrises @seonghwasstar @kyeos4ng @hwaseongstar @normal-girl1 @knisterlicht @lilactiny @ateezourstars@seonghwarizon @miaaa127 @skz-jisoo @seung-hwa @jhmylove @dandyboyseungminnie @hwadngseok @mahsora @chonsayeosang @kpopnightingale @sookacc @wannabekris @eastleighsblog @sup-dallyboy  @legohwa  @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @hiimdorylol @becauseiloveyunho @horizonmoonfics @hongjoongslut @be-ll7​

#adirtylittlesecret #a dirty little secret #seonghwa smut #ateez smut #park seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #dom seonghwa #seonghwa x virgin reader #kpop smut #ateezsmut #seonghwa fuckboy #ateez fuckboy #ateez scenarios #seonghwa first time #ateez series #ateez au #seonghwa au #park seonghwa angst #ateez x you #seonghwa x you

[buckyalpine]

18+

Justin Capshaw x Reader, Fuck boy Bucky

Starting this off by saying my brain has been scrambling around and I haven't been writing requests because I feel like it just isn’t going to be as good when I haz the dumb. Promise I’ll be writing them again soon xx 

This thought popped into my head and it’s not going to leave anytime soon. 

Warnings: SMUT Voyeur Bucky, m masturbation, mommy kink, praise kink, public sex, aged up Justin Capshaw, pure filth, Buckynastyyyy is out and about

Imagine Bucky’s beeen lusting after you and he can’t understand why the fuck you’re dating a pathetic little nerd who can’t even go two minutes without adjusting his glasses. He’s been chasing after you and you hardly give him a second glance, uninterested in his ulterior motives not matter how attractive he is. 

Besides, you adored your sweet boyfriend who was beyond in love with you. He was initially too shy to even look your way but after being paired for an assignment together, you easily fell for his soft pout, his glasses, his quiet voice, the way he’d blush and smile just for you. 

You couldn’t get enough of him. His blue eyes. His soft skin. His plush lips. His fluffy hair. His co-

Bucky rolled his eyes, his jaw clenching as he saw the both of you sitting in the library, giving each other heart eyes. He can’t stand watching you feed your needy little boyfriend when you have lunch together, swiping his pouty bottom lip, kissing his pink cheek. It should have been him having you on his lap, his with his hand between your legs while he kissed you between bites but no. Some how Justin had gotten you first. 

Bucky scoffed at the way you ran your fingers through his hair, cuddling him on the couch of the lounge area, both of you blissfully unaware anyone was nearby this late in the library. 

You let your nails graze his scalp, earning a soft whimper, giggling when Justin buried his face into your neck, hesitantly pulling you closer into his lap. 

“You okay bubba?” You whispered, straddling him while he looked at you with wide eyes, checking his surroundings, wondering if anyone else was around. Of course he didn’t see Bucky sitting in the study room, finding it hard to really focus on anything when all the blood in his body had rushed south. 

He nodded, continuing to shy away from you as you let your skirt ride up so you could grind down on him, coaxing a louder whine from him, his hands flying to your hips to rock you on him. 

“F-feelings good” He whispered, rutting his hips up against your panties, pushing his boner against you. “More, please?” He looked at you with glassy eyes, his lips parted, breathing heavier. 

“Tell me what you want baby” You peppered kisses down his face, your hand palming his erection, giving it a gentle squeeze, making his body jolt before pulling your hand away again. You cupped his face, your thumb tugging on his bottom lip.  

“Touch me, please?” He bucked his hips up slightly but you shook your head, wanting to see him desperate. 

“Touch you where bubba” You cooed, your panties growing wetter feeling how hard he was under you. 

“Touch me there, please mommy” He tried again, biting his lip, his cock throbbing painfully in his jeans. 

“Tell me exactly where angel” You whispered in his ear, letting your tongue drag across his skin making him blush more. 

“My-my....”

“Your what sweet boy” You tilted his chin to look at you, loving the way he was so shy but you knew how insatiable he really was. 

 “My cock” He whispered, hiding his face again, moaning when you started to grind on him, only to clamber off moments later, your hands going down to work at the button of his jeans. He raised his hips slightly, letting you tug his pants down, his heart racing as you hooked your thumbs under the waistband of his briefs, freeing his cock. 

“You sure baby, we’re still in the library, someone could come by” 

“Cock hurts, too hard, do something mommy” He whined, bucking his hips up again, sighing when you grasped him. 

Bucky’s eyes grow wide, a pang of jealousy dropping in his chest, there was no way that tiny nerdy thing was walking around like a horse all this time. Bucky was unable to look tears his eyes away from Justin’s cock springing free, his thick girth slapping against his tummy, precum smearing onto his skin. He nearly snapped the pencil he was holding watching you grasp his cock, giving it a few tugs, before sinking to your knees in front of him. 

“C’mere baby boy” You purred, giving the head of his cock a few kitten licks, smirking at the little whines falling from his lips. You took the head of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around, your eyes locked on your flustered boyfriend, his head thrown back, his knuckles white from where he gripped the couch. 

“F-fuck, s’good, so good” He moaned, his glasses already steaming up from how worked up he was. He hesitantly rocked his hips up to chase more of your mouth, careful not to push too deeply into your mouth.  

Bucky tensed, if it were him, he would have had you choking on his cock, making you gag on his length while he fucked your face, unlike your boyfriend who hesitated to even put his hands on you, keeping his hands squeezed to his sides instead. Bucky shifted in his seat, his own cock leaking and throbbing, desperate for some type of relief. His hands were itching to at least palm himself, maybe pop open the button of his jeans, something, anything, to take the ache away. 

His eyes grew wide watching you struggle to swallow all of his cock, the sound of your choking mixed with his moans. You hummed, taking in a deep breath before taking his entire length down your throat making him cry out, his jaw slack, chest heaving as you bobbed your head, letting his sensitive tip coat your throat with his arousal. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum-” Justin squirmed, desperate to hold his climax off while you continued to work at his cock, pulling off with a pop, your hand gripping around the base of his cock. “Mommyyy” 

“Where’d you want to cum baby?” You trailed kisses down to his balls while he whimpered, his cock throbbing. “Tell me sweet boy” 

“Mamaa” He shook his head, it didn’t matter how many times he had you, how many times you told him he could have anything he wants, he still felt too shy to demand pleasure from you. 

“Be a good boy and tell me Justin” 

“Inside you” He peeked down at you through his lashes, biting his lip as you stood up, pulling your panties off and straddling him, grinding your bare pussy onto his cock. 

“You wanna fuck mommy baby” You moved your hands down to his chest, gasping when he grasped your hips, trying to hump you from underneath, coating himself in your slick while nodding desperately. 

“Wanna fuck you, please?” 

Who were you to deny your sweet baby. You let your skirt ride all the way up above your hips, unaware that Bucky had his eyes locked on your dripping cunt soaking your boyfriend. Bucky’s hands moved on their own, shoving his pants down and pulling his cock out, sighing in relief, waiting for you to sink down and bounce up and down. He gave himself a few soft tugs, gathering his precum to use as lube, his pink tip leaking. 

You lined yourself up, gasping as you felt him breech your hole, his thick length stretching you as you sunk down. You moaned, holding onto his shoulders as you started to bounce, your needy baby’s desperation spurring you on. 

“FUCK MOMMY” He couldn’t even control himself anymore, hoping the library was truly empty because there was no way he’d be able to be quiet. Justin nearly cried, his cock throbbing in your tight walls. Bucky’s breaths grew heavier as he fisted his cock watching your ass bounce up and down. Silky cream covered Justin’s shaft, your soaked pussy drenching him. He couldn’t help the thoughts that kept crossing his mind as he spat down, letting his spit drip onto his cock jerking himself faster. 

Fucking your little mommy like a bitch in heat

Your slutty mommy can’t even wait to go home, look at her, fucking herself on you like a cockhungry whore

Mommy needs a daddy to take care of her

Look at how needy she sounds, poor dolls pussy is aching, fuck her harder, make her scream, daddy wants to hear mommy

You both climbed higher and higher, the band in your belly pulled taut as soon as you felt Justin’s hand snake between your bodies, his thumb strumming your clit. Your head was thrown back, loud moans bouncing off the shelves and walls as you continued to ride him, your cunt starting to flutter. 

“Are you mommy’s little angel baby?” You rode him faster, struggling to keep your pace up the faster he rubbed you. “You’re mommy’s good boy? Gonna make me cum Justinn”

“I’m your good boy mommy, gonna make you cum” He whined, biting his lip, feeling his balls pull tight to his body. 

“Make me cum Justin”

Bucky groaned to himself, sweat beading at his forehead, his cock read to blow any second. He squeeze the base of his cock, forcing his orgasm down, trying to delay it until he saw you fall off the edge, desperate to hear how gorgeous you sounded when you came. He saw your eyes roll back, your moans growing louder, your grip on his shoulders tighter. 

That’s right, make your mommy cum

His hand went down to roll and cup his balls, tugging them to try and stop himself from busting. 

Make her cum, fuck her like the little slut she is

What he wouldn’t give to have you bounce on him like that. 

I’d fill her till she was leaking 

Fill all of her holes till she was filled with me

“Cum for me mama, pleaseplease, wan’ it” Justin grabbed you firmly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush to his chest. He kept you in place as he started to jack hammer you from underneath, his heavy balls slapping your ass. 

“OH FUCK JUSTIN” You buried yourself into the crook of his neck, biting down onto his soft skin, your orgasm crashing over you, your cunt milking his cock. Justin stuttered feeling you suck his cock in deeper, nearly crying at the feeling of more arousal pouring around him. 

That’s it, cum for your little boy toy, make a mess all over him, be a good lil mama and cum

Make him cry cause of your tight cunt

Milk his little cock dry with that greedy pussy of yours

Fucking yourself dumb with that pathetic bitch of a boyfriend, just wait till daddy has you mommy 

“I’m gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum mommy- I-oh fuck-AHH-HNGG-hngg- Justin stilled, nearly sobbing as he came deep in your pussy, desperate to push himself in as deep as possible. Bucky’s eyes nearly rolled back, willing himself to stay focused as his cock throbbed, his shaft and head swelling with ecstasy . 

I’m gonna cum for you too mommy, gonna make a mess all over myself

Gonna cum so hard, daddy’s gonna blow is load for you

Daddy has so much cum, can feel it in my balls, let me cum in that pussy you cumslut, come take it

Bucky moaned, chasing his high, focused on short fast strokes, choking his cock until he couldn’t hold it anymore, cumming all over his hand, his cum hitting the underside of the table. He’d masturbated to you countless times but this was something else, cum still streaming out of his sensitive tip, staining and wetting his pants. 

He panted, hissing as he tucked his cock back in, still watching the way you had slumped into your boyfriends arms, the both of you still half naked and fucked out. Justin refused to pull out, keeping his cock warm while you kissed the side of his temple, cooing at what a good boy he had been, treating his mommy so good. He blushed, cuddling you close while his cum leaked out of you.

Bucky narrowed his eyes feeling his cock twitch again when he saw your tongue slip between Justin’s lips, tugging his pouty lip gently, clearly trying to tease him again.

Naughty little mommy  

Maybe he didn’t have you yet but he’d wait for his turn. 

Tags: @glxwingrxse  @hungryyeyess  @sebsgirl71479  @beabutterfly987  @teambarnes72  @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass  @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan​  @buggy14  @whimsyplaty92  @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec​   @pono-pura-vida​   @moonlightreader649​ @brooklynscherry-z​  @elle14-blog1​ @justsebstan​ @littlelightnings​ @psychomanniac-blog​  @happyt0exist​   @emmabarnes​  @bethyruth​ @matchat3a​  @cjand10​   @getwellsoontana​  @cherryschaos​   @lokisasgardianvampirequeen​  @ashenc-blog​  @buckybarnessimpp​   @potatothots​  @goldylions​  @high-functioning-lokipath​ @morganemorganite-blog​  @kingfleury​   @peaches1958​   @spiderman-stilinski​   @peaceinourtime82​  @gublur​   @wintersmelodie​ @geeky-politics-46​   @lolawassad​  @almosttoopizza​   @a-poor-gryffindork​ @alternativeprincess​   @buckycallsmeaslut​    @kamaria-sweet-writes​  @charmedbysarge​    @xnorthstar3x​  @kryoee7​ @alina02​  @gh0stgurl​    @polishprincess999​ @jessybarnes​ @alltheficsiwant​ @chemtrails-club​  @eralen​   @perdidosbucky-yyo​  @clqrosmgc​    

#bucky barnes smut #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #justin capshaw x reader #justin capshaw x f reader #fuck boy bucky #fuck boy bucky barnes smut #fuck boy bucky barnes #fuckboy bucky barnes #bucky barnes college au #college bucky #college bucky au #college bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #bucky fan fic #bucky fan fics #marvel college au #avengers college au #justin capshaw #james bucky barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes