the way i just finished the ep and im about to immediately rewatch
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wanting & laying yourself bare
Yo wants to trust that this time could be different. she wants to believe that Plug could hold her & not break her- that he'll take care of her. she wants to rest in this beautiful connection she's found.
she could've been sarcastic or cutting here- easy enough when you're hurting & terrified- but instead, she made herself vulnerable by expressing her wanting.
Ray desperately wants to be loved unconditionally, despite the hurt, the trauma & the burden of addiction that he still bears. he wants a life with Sand- a second chance.
Sand wants to be able to trust in this, to have this too- so much that he pushes past his hurt (fear too, probably) & tells Ray he can't live without him, either.
Boston wants to give a type of relationship he’s never experienced a chance, & he makes it known.
Top found something so authentic & true with Mew. he doesn't just want Mew- he wants him to trust in him, in them. Mew didn't answer him here with words, but I think he'll get there.
what makes this all so profound is that these aren't surfacey, simple wants. these are wants that sleep next to your bones like a secret, aching wound.
you know the kind…we all have at least one.
it's a personal truth- often rooted in past pain- that when given a voice lays you bare. some of us spend our entire lives running from moments like these. we'll sabotage ourselves, drive away good people or keep ourselves busy- all to (maybe, hopefully) forget the wanting.
it takes time, self reflection & a fuckton of bravery to make it known, but when you do? you're saying yes to yourself. life will never not hurt us, but giving other people the chance to meet you where you are & give you what you need? to love you, care for you- see you?
that's when you start living. really, actually.
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TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE
CAPTIVE PRINCE SPOILERS
You know what? This is.... Paces the room and slaps the wall with an open palm. No, this is definitely..... Punches a hole through the wall.
At this point, at this point, if I was Laurent, I would just let my uncle kill to be fucking honest. This is the height of things that have happened and I am losing my mind. It's not like I'm surprised, it's just the overwhelming audacity and endless betrayal.
I'm the one with unnatural feelings? ME?? YOU'RE the one who f*cking RAPED ME at the vulnerable age of THIRTEEN!!! I would lose my shit.
Not only has the Regent let this stupid believable rumour foster because everyone is well aware of how much Laurent worshipped his brother Auguste, but now he raises it as a countermeasure against Laurent ever revealing the truth. Like who the fuck are the people going to believe? Their bitchy prince or their seemingly benevolent leader with a heart of gold (he goes around fucking children!!! He's been bedding Nico since he was TEN!!! SCREAMS IN UNDILUTED RAGE!!)
I can't! I can't stand him. How?! Omg. Hoooow can people lie like they speak the truth? How can they do it without a shred of remorse? He took advantage of a young child at the time he needed him the most and he's flaunting that vulnerability, he's using it to his advantage because no one knows he likes children, because those who do know would never fathom that such a good man would do such a thing to his fucking nephew! He turned his nephew into a viper, he is the reason Laurent has no friends, no allies, betrayal and betrayal and yet another betrayal. And when the truth about Damen comes out everything is going to fall apart and I can't stand it. I can't stand any of this! I'm losing my mind. How? How has Laurent possibly put up with this for nearly ten years? I would have just given up and let the Regent take me, this is madness!!
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Is there something about someone else that Wesley secretly envies, even if they'd never say it out loud?
The fact that Ripper still has a living sibling, for one.
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pjo: is not fully accurate to the greek myths or portrayal of the gods, doesn't need to be since it's just a nice introduction to greek mythos but not seeking to be an educational book that people should be referencing in their essays, the only book(s) that could be considered educational and factual would be the greek myths/greek heroes books that percy narrates, but if you want to add something to pjo through fanon wikipedia and the theoi website as a check is probably fine, no one is expecting every fan of the pjoverse to have a PhD in ancient history/religion/mythos
me regardless: i need to check my hundreds of greek/roman mythos books to factcheck this thing i came across on wikipedia and is relevant to this ask just to make sure i'm not messing up a history/mythos thing even though this is related to pjo, where it doesn't really matter so why am i freaking out about it 🤷♂️
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Figuring out Adams' new team because it's killing me and I make charts to cope:
Confirmed: Irey West, Jai West, Maxine Baker
Strongly hinted at: Cerdian of Shayeris, Robert Long
Very likely: Lian Harper, Mar'i Grayson, Kathy Branden
Potentially one of: Maps Mizoguchi, Mara al Ghul, Maya Ducard, Tiffany Fox, Sin Lance
Potentially one of (but unlikely): Tai Pham, Keli Quintela, Milagro Reyes
Potentially (but unlikely): Otho-Ra & Osul-Ra OR Chris Kent
Unlikely: Colin Wilkes, Johnny Tyler, Helen Jordan, Rani Carter
(Reminder: the # of kids will likely be 6-8)
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