#neat freak but now i have share the bathroom with her and clean up after her and pick up her hair in the shower/on the floor and maybe im

[jihyolesbian]

ok why is she texting paragraphs in the groupchat that "we need to start cleaning the kitchen more" like girl be real. you know i deep clean it myself every 2-3weeks but it's a big kitchen and multiple people use it i can only do so much

#swear on my dogs life she has cleaned the kitchen ONCE since we moved in 2 years ago #and my other roommate has cleaned it MAXIMUM OF TWICE as well #im also the only one who cleans my bathroom #funny story about that too #the other 2 girls used to share the bigger bathroom and it was always filthy like everything has a thick coat of grime and dirt UFG like i #had to use their toilet once and once my butt hit the seat i was disgusted i could FEEL the dirt on top of the toilet seat #so anyways while i was away for a little one of them moved into my tiny ass bathroom to share with me because it's always clean bc im a #neat freak but now i have share the bathroom with her and clean up after her and pick up her hair in the shower/on the floor and maybe im #just like MAJOR clean freak but....grosses me out #so anyways the audacity to say that we never clean when i do clean often and you're aware of that which is why you wanted to share a br #with me instead. smh #RANT SORRY #that time i came back from being away and saw that she moved into my bathroom i went to take a shower and tehre was mold ALL OVER THE SHOWE #R and so i texted her like did you know the bathroom is all moldy?? like it's disgusting have you been standing on it in the shower n stuff #and she was like 'oh really! no i thought it was just the design of the tile' -_- #ok....... #for this reason. im glad to graduate and move back home bc at least my brother is low maintenance in our bathroom

[starlit-scarlet]

Healing

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Wherein Levi comforts reader after the lost of a loved one.

A/N: This fic is also posted on ao3 and is dedicated to @artistic-resonance and another reader from ao3, as well as anyone who has ever lost a loved one. I lost my grandma last fall, two other grandparents in 2018, and I felt like we could all use a little comfort from the sweet, gruff man that is Levi Ackerman—that's how I see him at least.

I'd like to preface this with the following: if you feel that reading this would make things worse, please do not read it. The last thing I would ever want is for something I write to make it hurt more. I did this as a way to help, but my feelings will not be hurt if you decide not to read.

In any case, I hope you enjoy this little bit of comfort from our favorite spinny boy.

It was dark, the curtains drawn in tight, not letting a single ounce of sunlight into the living room—matching your current mood. Curled up on the couch under your favorite throw blanket—one they’d knitted for you—and all you could do was stare blankly out into the room in front of you. The cozy, woven material reminded you of them, somehow still smelling of them, remembering how their scent used to bring you peace—though that may have just been your wishful thinking. Your phone lay on the floor where it had slipped out of your hand the moment you’d received the news.

The five stages of grief, and you were in denial, having trouble believing that they were no longer with you, that you would never see them again, that beloved family member of yours that you’d been so close to.

That’s where he found you when he stepped into your home, lying on the couch, and his concern for you was so sudden that his keys slipped from his hand to land on the floor, the tinkling sound resounding through the quiet room.

“Baby.”

It was the only word he whispered before he moved. By your side in an instant, he lay down next to you, pulling you close against him, tucking your head against his chest.

The presence of him had the first of many tears slipping out of your eyes as your hands curled into fists in his shirt. You whimpered as you tried to explain to him that someone in your family had passed away through the sobs and hitching breaths that hit your body. Simply murmuring sweet nothings to you, he pressed gentle kisses to the top of your head, stroking your hair and back, his touches tender, ginger, supporting you as you grieved.

“They’re gone, Levi, they’re just gone ,” you wailed, snuggling closer to him.

“I know, baby, I know.” He was the type of man who struggled with emotions, with poetic words, yet he always tried for you. It was a testament to how much he loved you.

Never once did he let you go, never once did he cease the comforting caresses within your hair as you sobbed in his arms, the well of grief threatening to never dry. He was your rock, the one person who could provide you peace, and you didn’t know what you would have done if he wasn’t in your life at that moment.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wonder.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the tears began to dry, and you nuzzled in closer against him, your lips somehow curling into a faint smile at the way he kissed the top of your head again. It had taken ages for him to become comfortable with these forms of affection, but he’d learned, and though he still floundered at times, he always did his best.

And that was all that mattered to you.

“Why, Levi?” Your breath hitched. “Why did this have to happen?”

He sighed, massaging at your scalp in a way that made you want to purr against him. “I wish I had a reason, but these things just happen in life.”

His words had you sniffling, more tears threatening to spill. “I wasn’t ready to lose them, Levi.”

“We never are.”

That was part of what was so reassuring with him, that he knew what it was like to lose family, having lost Furlan and Isabel so long ago. You’d been there to help him through it, to help him through his grief, the way he was doing with you now.

“What do I do, Levi?”

“You get through it, and I’ll be here with you, every step of the way.”

It warmed your heart to hear him say that, shivering when he brushed his lips across your forehead. Some people perhaps would wish he was more poetic, more heartfelt. But the simplicity of his responses rang louder than any profound, rhythmic verse could ever dream of being. Somehow, he always managed to give tell you exactly what you needed to hear.

Rising from the couch, he pulled the blanket off of you, scooping you up into his arms, your own coming to wrap around his neck as you cuddled close against him. He carried you into the bathroom, setting you down gently onto the counter while he turned to fill the bathtub with water and some bubble bath before directing his attention back to you once again.

Hands gentle as he removed your clothing, he placed you into the bathtub, your frame engulfed in the water and the soothing fragrance of the bubbles.

He crouched down next to the tub, ruffling your hair in a way that always made you want to hum and purr like a cat. “Do you want me to sit with you, or do you want to be alone?”

“Please, Levi, I...I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He nodded, stripping himself of his clothes, folding them neatly and setting them on the counter next to yours. Stepping into the fragrant bath, he settled in behind you, drawing your back up against his chest and wrapping his arms around your waist.

Head falling back against him, you let yourself enjoy the simple comfort that was Levi holding you. His strong, sturdy arms against your waist, holding you close, reminding you that he would always be there for you. The gentle kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulders, reminding you that he loved you, more than anything in the world. For only you were able to see this soft, sweet side of him, the one that had been locked away before you’d both met.

Tilting your head back, he used a cup— one he kept in the bathroom for this purpose— to pour streams of water down your hair, wetting it. This was his domain, where he was most comfortable. It was how he showed you he loved you, the way he took care of you. You knew it was because his mother had done the same for him when he’d been a young boy.

Her way of making him feel better when he was little, had been to set him in a bubble bath and help him scrub away the day. He’d always been close to her, but had lost her when he was a teen, taken in by his Uncle Kenny shortly after.

A calm sigh slipped through your lips when he scrubbed at your hair with some shampoo, his hands tender, and sweet as he washed away the day, just as his mother had with him. It was a ritual the two of you had shared time and time again, the meaning of it different than between mother and son, but the bonding, the affection, all of that was still there.

Blocking your forehead with his hand, he carefully rinsed out the suds, making sure none slipped down to sting your eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple that had your heart fluttering as you turned to gaze up at him. The warmth in his blue eyes lit up his entire face, the warmth that was only ever there for you.

His hands were ginger and sweet as they caressed down your body, scrubbing and cleaning, seeking to soothe and comfort, not entice and seduce. The gentleness of his hands had you relaxing further into him, reaching a different form of bliss, feeling completely safe and at ease with him.

The two of you stayed that way, relaxing, relishing in the comfort of each other until the bubbles fizzled away and the water cooled. Only then did he rise, lifting you back into his arms and setting you on the floor so he could gently dry you, giving your wet hair a little ruffle before running the coarse fabric through it. Of its own volition, your hand lifted to caress the side of his face, and he simply turned his head to kiss your fingertips.

And people thought him cruel and callous.

Hardly, you mentally scoffed.

Gruff. A bit of an ass. A neat freak. Yes, he was all of those things.

But cruel and callous? How could you ever think him to be that way when he treated you this way? So kind and gentle and sweet. As if you were the most precious thing in his life, and sometimes...sometimes it felt as if you were.

He wrapped the towel around you, moving to dry himself off, though he tutted in amusement when you tried to step out of the bathroom.

“Let me take care of you, alright?”

That had your heart fluttering again, the wings threatening to send it flying, soaring, to land straight into the palms of his hands. As if you could ever resist him.

So when he scooped you into his arms once again, you simply nuzzled into his neck, pressing loving kisses along the skin, already feeling immensely better. The grief in your heart ran deep, but his tender love and care was already helping you heal the wound. It felt as if you were floating, and you almost didn’t want him to set you back down—though the thought was hardly reasonable.

Despite knowing you were perfectly capable of dressing yourself, he helped you anyway, pulling your shirt over your head, followed by a pair of comfortable shorts, chuckling at the way you rolled your eyes at him. That was something else only you and a few select others were worthy enough to see and hear.

His smile.

His laugh.

For only those he felt truly comfortable with was he able to put down his guard enough to enjoy the simple things of life such as humor.

“What do you want for dinner?”

The simple question drew you out of your thoughts once again, and you managed to draw out another chuckle from him when you told him what you wanted. Food from your favorite delivery place, something that meant not having to go out, and meant that he wouldn’t have to take time away from holding you, which is what you needed most.

Once he’d placed the order, he didn’t hesitate to cart you into his arms again—spoiling you to no end—and carrying you out into the living room, where the two of you could settle in on the couch, cuddling close with your legs draped over his. He tossed the blanket over you—the one he knew meant everything to you—and switched on the TV, putting on your favorite show. It was one you knew he hated, but that he was willing to watch if it meant helping you.

That was why he was your sweet, gruff Levi.

As you sat together, you slowly could feel the wounds beginning to mend further.

With him—through helping him through his own losses—you’d come to learn that grief is the love you held for a lost loved one persevering.

You didn’t know how long it would take for you to heal, but you knew that as long as you had him by your side, that you had your friends…

You could get through anything.

One day at a time.

Back to Fluff/Comfort Menu

#lev x reader #angst #one shot #emotional h/c #comfort #soft levi #levi ackerman #reader

[oftenderweapons]

Dirty ABCs | Seokjin and Angel

Grab your water because this is getting thirsty!

Pairing: Seokjin x reader/OC (Angel)

Wordcount: 2.3k

Genre: headcanons, smut, fluff

Rating: 18+, minors dni

Trigger warnings: Cockwarming, Cumshots (face, mouth, chest), Creampie, Cumeating, Bondage, Saint Andrew‘s Cross, Impact play, Nipple and clit spanking, Riding crop, Objectification, Body tray (using body as a food tray), Submission (slave) and domination, Discipline and punishment, Deegradation, Pinning, Masturbation, Oral sex, Sex toys (vibrator, nipple pumps, clamps, wrist restraints, cockrings). Mentions of threesome, mild exhibitionism and teasing in public.

Edited by Goddess Almighty, Queen Of My Heart, @joheunsaram, this is all for you, muffin 😘🥰

Here’s my masterlist

Enjoy 💜✨

Aftercare: For Seokjin, aftercare is mostly a way for him to calm down and for Angel to take care of him emotionally. Angel is usually okay after a scene as long as Seokjin isn’t feeling guilty or dirty or distant. So it’s mostly her performing aftercare on him, while he prefers staying on the receiving end, getting his body scrubbed and his hair washed, or being fed while being held. He really likes being hugged while talking. He’s also into cockwarming after sex, since he feels like he’s being protected and that he’s reconnecting with his vanilla side.

Body part: TITS. Jin loves the entirety of Angel, but he has a thing for her chest. And her face. She’s so beautiful, and so clean-faced. He loves being the only one who sees her pretty face crumble in pleasure when she cums for him. Now, Angel loves Seokjin’s hands and lips. He loves watching his lips kiss and suck at any part of her body.

Cum: Seokjin loves to cum inside Angel’s mouth. When he’s feeling especially naughty, he wants to cum on her face, then get inside her and see her ecstatic expression covered in his semen as he coaxes an orgasm out of her. Angel likes cumming on his cock, mostly because of how whiny he gets when she squeezes him with her cunt; plus, once she discovers she can cum without him touching her clit, just ramming inside her, she decides that’s her new favourite way to orgasm.

Dirty secret: Seokjin wants to tie Angel up to a Saint Andrew’s Cross and use a riding crop to spank her clit and nipples. Of course he has plans to make that happen, he just needs to figure out a couple more details. Like whether he should buy a cross and then turn it into… a coffee-table? Angel wants Seokjin to use her body as a food tray, ignoring her entirely while he eats, only to turn her around and fuck her against the table once he’s done. She wants to be treated like a slave just once. Just to try.

Experience: Jin has had a couple of partners before Angel, but he never went that far. He’s always been a freak, but way too restrained to try things out. Only with Angel he realised he could get what he wanted without feeling like he was disrespecting his partner. Angel has had maybe two partners. Maybe just one — the guy who cheated on her with a girl they had a threesome with. He was a freak through and through, and it only felt natural for Angel to join him, but she’s always been a bit of a freak — and she has always known that.

Favourite position: MIS-SIO-NA-RY. For both of them. A soft go-to for romantic sex and a hard and fast jackhammering. Though there is some debate on cowgirl — especially once Seokjin starts shoving Angel on his cock.

Goofy: these two can be major goofs when having sex. It’s pretty common for them to start laughing when something is extremely out of character, but they have a special look they exchange to make sure that laughing is okay at that moment. Such an agreement came after the mood was ruined by inappropriate cackling, so they found a way to look for the other’s permission. Once one of them starts laughing, the other one follows suit. After releasing tension by chuckling, the sex turns very playful, the best expression of Angel and Seokjin’s genuine friendship and companionship.

Hair: Seokjin keeps things neat, but he doesn’t put too much effort on that. He prefers staying as natural as possible, with some trimming when the situation gets out of hand. Angel trims her hair short, she has a specific electric razor to make sure it doesn’t get long but also so she can shave comfortably and safely.

Intimacy: Seokjin aims at intimacy mostly during aftercare, when he needs to feel Angel extra close and loving. Also, on romantic nights. Sometimes he just needs to go vanilla-galore all over her, and spoil her and just… treat her like a goddess. During soft lovemaking, these two just say ‘I love you’ a lot. Most of their intimacy is unspoken and really physical rather than verbal.

Jack off: Well, there are cases where it’s strictly necessary. Though Angel does it a bit more than Jin, he still is a pro at it. He actually prefers when she’s around to do it for him, or can “assist”. He just wants to cum on her tits or her mouth. Or her face. Angel just uses toys when Seokjin is away. Or sometimes when he’s around but is feeling lazy and is not in the mood and she needs to get laid: she simply picks up her small, efficient vibrator and gets stuff done. Though sometimes Seokjin changes his mind…

Kink: Ooh… Seokjin is learning how to actually dominate. However, he already knows a couple things, like punishments, discipline, degradation and impact play. He sorts of assumes he’s into restraints too, but he’s still trying to figure that out. Angel truly enjoys power dynamics, and she absolutely adores subbing for Seokjin, especially since her ex never had the kind of authority that Jin can muster and impose on her so easily. She likes being pinned and degraded by Seokjin. She finds it extremely exciting when he grabs her and uses her a little, when he doesn’t give her a chance to fight back. She likes feeling overwhelmed by him, like she’s finally unraveling him from that polished outside that he curates so expertly. She loves being the only one that gets to feel the beastly part of him on her own body. Truth is, she’s even more proud of being the one who lets him liberate himself and finally embrace his true passion and pleasure.

Location: Their home because Seokjin is shy. But as long as there’s a flat surface and a lock on the door, he’s game. Actually — the flat surface is not truly necessary. Just wait and see. Anyway, Seokjin is super glad that Angel is almost always ready when he wants to get dirty. Most of the time he’s the one dictating when and where, and Angel is entirely okay with that. Saturday night in their apartment is code for “do not disturb, we’re smashing. Maybe across the kitchen floor so absolutely do not enter”. If they’re out in public, there’s a very low chance of Angel teasing him. If she does, she’s very subtle, and in a rather private public place. Think of a hand on his thigh while he’s driving with her somewhere. Blowing him in the bathroom of a rooftop restaurant.

Motivation: The easiest way for Seokjin to get horny is seeing Angel showing off her boobs. If she's going around the house in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts (no bra), consider her busy for the next two hours minimum. She's most definitely trying to get fucked. Sometimes she might even forgo the shirt too. Seokjin can't stand her being stressed, because of her being moody and hard to deal with, he'd much rather get some dopamine and oxytocin running through her by fucking her against the kitchen table. Especially if she's being exceedingly argumentative. However, if she's truly stressed and tired, then expect him to take the lead and try to relax her as… as deep as he can. Angel's greatest weakness is watching Jin doing the housekeeping. Cooking is excellent for sex on the counter. The laundry is freaking amazing for sex on the washing machine — even better if the machine is running. But the absolute best is when he's using the mop for the floors and she can drop her clothes and scold him for not cleaning properly. It always drives him mad and subsequently leads to Angel getting fucked exactly the way she wants.

No: Third parties in the room. Angel absolutely doesn't want to share. It's mostly due to her past experiences rather than Seokjin himself. That's her only strong no. Seokjin supports her fully and he has no interest in adding anyone to their mix. Angel is more than enough to deal with. Jin has a couple hard No’s, mostly linked with Angel teasing him in public, but also her flirting with other people. She’s rather cheeky and he gets a bit mad when she gets too comfortable with his friends. On more sexual terms, he’s still exploring; however, he already knows he’s not okay with anything considered strictly hardcore.

Oral: sloppy, hungry, fast. That's the way Seokjin wants it done. Yes he's fucking hung, but he doesn't care how much Angel takes in her mouth (throat, actually), he rewards the enthusiasm. He appreciates plenty of sucking, and encourages Angel in pumping his balls in her mouth. Angel goes insane with oral sex. I mean, have you seen his mouth? Meow, purrfect. He can make a kitty purr for sure. Angel's most definitely.

Pace: The fastest, the furiousest. This man is a fucking train. He won't stop. Till he's broken Angel through and through. Though some slow rolling of hips is used to tease and arouse and torture, and eventually to please on calmer, sweeter nights. Nevertheless, they both prefer to go as hard as possible. If they don't break they're not done yet.

Quickie: strictly limited to emergencies, but they love them. They can't have casual quickies because they usually turn on multiple rounds and torture, so they must be on a schedule, like ten minutes left before one or both of them has an appointment or has to leave. Usually that happens with Angel bent over or pinned to the wall while Seokjin goes wild all over her.

Risk: Depends. Usually no. If Angel's been naughty enough, well, Seokjin can consider. It's mostly about restaurant bathrooms, car back seats, and some very mild inappropriate touching on lifts, think of Angel standing before him, discreetly rubbing her ass against his crotch. Oh, and one backstage storage room. Once. Never gonna happen ever again.

Stamina: if I had to rate it, I'd say 8/10 solid. The point is burning out, not burning steady. The goal is running out of energy, so they don't hold back, they do their thing for however long that takes. But Seokjin can most definitely handle multiple rounds. His record is probably four, but he doesn't like going there often. Foreplay and one or two rounds is more than enough for him

Toy: a big yes for Angel. For Seokjin too once he gets used to the idea of them. Angel likes vibrators, the more unusual the better. It needs to do something that a dick can’t do, so no dildos. A big yes for breast-toys (her boobies are hella sensitive). She’s also a fan of restraints (mostly hand ones but not exclusively) and impact toys. A big toy freak. Seokjin embraces her love for cockrings (especially vibrating ones).

Unfair: Seokjin? Yes. Very. Angel won’t get to cum unless he has tortured her for at least twenty minutes. Sometimes he sets a timer and edges her until it rings. Sometimes he keeps her tied up while he cums over her body — her chest especially. He likes reminding her consistently that he is superior to her as long as the scene is going. But once it’s over, he is quick to remind her she’s his partner, his equal, and anything that happened during the scene was just an act.

Volume: Angel is super quiet. She can exercise incredible volume control — and she is particularly encouraged to do so by the fact that Seokjin can be extremely shy about his moans and grunts, keeping them on the low. Especially when going vanilla, she really needs to pay attention to spot his little whines. At some point in their relationship, she admits she wouldn’t mind him controlling himself a bit less, vocally speaking, and from there on Seokjin gets gradually less shy, finally being the loud, messy man he is in his everyday life.

Wild card: Seokjin practices impact play on pillows when Angel is not at home. Mostly to make sure his game gets really safe and good before he uses any new toy on her. Once he learns how to use a riding crop, Angel can’t stop asking for it for weeks.

X-Ray: Girth? Considerable. Length? Excessive. The combo makes it impossible to take him without a stretch. He’s a grower. Angel’s power is all in her boobs. Her ass is on the flat side, but Seokjin wouldn’t have it any other way.

Yearning: Seokjin is the usual two-rounds-on-Saturday-night kind of dude when he first gets intimate with Angel, but mostly because he thinks that’s the way it’s supposed to be. He wants it a lot more. Once they start exploring, he feels free to ask for foreplay or sex pretty much whenever he wants to. Angel is up for daily masturbation/oral sex. They either end up going kinky on Saturday night, or doing the nasty mid-week and go for some fond, soft vanilla once Saturday night rolls in. Still, they’re not the kind to go two or three nights in a row: too exhausting.

Zzz: Angel gets sleepy during aftercare, but she tries to stay up as long as possible if Seokjin doesn’t feel okay. Sometimes he notices she’s sleepy and reassures her she can fall asleep, since the greatest comfort for him is knowing that no matter how cruel he was to her during playtime, she loves him and feels safe to sleep in his arms. Oh, and he’s clingy. He spoons.

#seokjin headcanons #seokjin scenario #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #Seokjin imagine #seokjin x angel

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [07]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption w.c; 3.5k a/n; the beginning of the end! like my mama said while i was cleaning my room, it has to get messy before it gets clean! that being said this is a series for @btsghostiewritersnet​ BGW Bingo Bash! now that we’ve gotten this far, would you say our heroine has truly lost her mind? 

[06] [07] [08] -> masterpost

Something is off and Jungkook doesn’t know exactly what, and therefore he has no way to approach it. 

HIs knee is bobbing uncontrollably as he throws his phone back and forth from one palm to another. He’s in a recording studio downtown, in an unfamiliar area that made Jungkook thankful that he decided to leave an hour early. He hears some hushed voices from another room, and he tries not to fiddle around too much as the chair in the waiting area is rickety and on its last limb. 

You texted him this morning with your usual pleasantries, saying you had a fun lesson to teach today and you couldn’t wait to set up your classroom. You’re also equally excited for Jungkook’s first recording session, and you urge him to “knock the socks off this producer guy.” 

But since that night you slept over, you haven’t brought up the tears you shed in his sheet. You’ve been painfully amicable, insisting that you’ll tell him when the time is right. 

Jungkook wants to be patient for you, and he will be. But he doesn’t know how to help you, help the two of you move forward without any context. He gets that the memories that are holding you back are painful, but he wishes to help ease that burden. Jungkook’s head starts to spin at all the possibilities that he could get you to feel comfortable enough to talk. 

“Hey,” Jungkook’s reverie shatters when a small guy in all black comes up to meet him. Jungkook shoots up, hand immediately darting out to shake the older one’s hand. He chuckles, “Jihoon sent me your demo last week. You have some killer vocals.” 

“Thanks,” he replies bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m Jungkook, by the way.” 

“Right,” the producer nods, gesturing for him to follow him down the hall. “I’m Min Yoongi.” 

Jungkook nearly trips over himself. He’s heard that name before, he’s sure of it. He tries to wrack his brain for the memory, something he’s brushed to the side after so long.

“Jungkook!” you cried. He was paralyzed when you first met, a frazzled woman shoving herself on him like you’ve known him his entire life. He didn’t know why you were trying to hide him, but you looked so terrified he couldn’t formulate a quick enough response. “Kook, what the fuck? It’s broad daylight, you can’t be out like this without a mask! Where on earth did you hide that bike? Dispatch will have your ass and the devil Min Yoongi’ll kill you again for sneaking out—” 

“Uh, Yoongi?” the pair step inside his little studio, neat and monochromatic. There’s a comfy couch in the corner, and Jungkook seats himself there while Yoongi slides into his rolling chair. “Do you by any chance know someone named y/n?

Yoongi shrugs, too busy going through his computer files to take notice of Jungkook’s wheels turning. “No, should I?” 

“Guess not,” Jungkook mutters, “what about Dispatch? Are you involved with them?” 

The older one swirls around in his chair, knuckles nestled in his milky cheeks. “Is this an interrogation?” 

Suddenly feeling hot, Jungkook shakes his head. “Sorry.” 

“But to answer your question, thankfully no,” Yoongi leans back in his seat, staring at the ceiling, “thankfully they’ve been smoked out ever since they got sued for defamation against that SNSD member, among dozens of other women. That was what, two years ago? But my artists are always squeaky clean.” 

Jungkook grapples the pieces in his brain, feeling the sudden itch to text you. 

“You’re askin’ a lot of weird questions, kid,” Yoongi says simply, “but since you have the voice of a fuckin’ angel on Cloud 9, I’m willing to overlook it.” 

The younger one nods wordlessly, letting Yoongi go on a tangent as he describes the song he has in mind and how he wants to approach it. He tries to focus, and intermittently fails as he falls in and out of thought, always coming back to you. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

“Hoseok, I feel it.” 

“Feel what, nausea? Heartburn, indigestion? Upset stomach? Diarrhea?” 

“Is that supposed to be a joke, Noona?” Bogum is sitting next to you on the picnic blanket laid out for the both of you. Today was supposed to be Hoseok’s off day, but Bogum’s mom offered Hoseok a pretty penny to take Bogum for the day while she had to attend a last-minute work project. 

“Yes, Bogummie. Although it was a terrible joke,” you admonish, sending a playful grin to Hoseok. 

“Do you like my new shoes?” with the attention span of a squirrel, Bogum hops up and jumps up and down on the grass. His new Elmo sneakers light up and make little squeaking sounds, “isn’t it cool! My shoes talk while I walk!” 

You giggle, “Yeah, now we’ll never lose you when you go off to the bathroom,” you reach for his sippy cup and instruct him to drink water, “go play on the slide, we’ll watch you from here!” 

Bogum immediately agrees, shuffling away with rhythmic squeaks from his sneakers as he bumbles over to the small playground on campus. Without the presence of children, you feel Hoseok’s eyes train on you as you try to formulate a response. 

“I don’t know, I woke up this morning and I felt a little too… settled?” you taste the word on your tongue, hoping it matches with the turmoil going through your brain. You continue to stare at Bogum, not a care in the world as he goes down the slide for the nth time, “my life isn’t moving forward anymore. It’s so, peaceful?” you nod at your question, then turn to smile sadly at Hoseok. 

“This might be the last time we see each other.” 

While you don’t know the rules and regulations of whatever fate or magic that brought you here, you always knew that this time had to end. You feel like you’ve experienced enough in this small lifetime to feel this kind of contentment. Any further into this life and you could change it however way you wanted to. 

You didn’t want to do that. You wanted to go home. 

Hoseok’s smile is equally sombre, but he plays it off with a scoff. “I guess this is the part where you leave me and I have to go on with the rest of my life questioning whether these past two months were real or a crazy drug trip while I spend nighttimes TL;DR-ing our story on Reddit.” 

You break into laughter, clutching your stomach as you try your hardest not to think too heavily of this moment. “Hobi, you won’t be alone in this. I’m going to tell Jungkook tonight,” you confess, “I don’t know how he’s gonna take it, but try to be there for him. For me?” 

Hoseok tilts his head to the side, “In your world, were me and Jungkook close?” 

You hide your grin by taking a sip of your water bottle, “Very close. He sobbed himself a river when you wanted to quit the group.” 

“Hm, maybe we’ll be close someday too.” 

“Maybe,” you pull out your phone, instructing Hoseok to do the same as he waits for whatever you’re about to send him. 

Hoseok phone pings and he opens the document you just shared with him. His brows knit at the neat notes, zooming in the small font. “What is this?” 

“For when the other me comes back in my place,” you lean over him to point out the details highlighted in light blue on your digital document. There’s addresses, student details, lesson agendas, even the money you spent while you used the bank account. “it’s in her drive, but I think she might… freak out regardless. If I really got hit by that oncoming truck, I don’t know what she’s going to be feeling. At least this is a quick cheat-sheet, so she can catch up on the past two months and continue on with her life.” 

You try to tamp down the guilt that you feel, knowing your alter-self could be in a far more dangerous situation than you right now. 

“So if you can stop by the apartment tomorrow—Taehyung and I changed the keycode a couple days ago, maybe bring over some coffee so you two can talk it out?” 

“Of course, don’t worry about us,” and Hoseok starts to get teary, which makes you get teary as he says his next words, “once you go back, I want you to be happy, okay? We can’t exactly text or—or F-Facetime like we always—oh shit,” he shoves the sleeve of his hoodie in his eyes, “w-why does it feel like you’re dying or something?” 

You throw your arms around him, letting him cry on your shoulder. You sigh into his amber bangs, his long fingers digging into your wrist but you don’t care. Knowing letting go was going to be hard, you’ve emotionally prepped yourself since this morning, but it doesn’t hurt any less when you’ve become so close with Hoseok. 

“Who knows?” you run your fingers through his hair, in an attempt to soothe him, “maybe I’ll have another taste of that angel wine. You’ll show up in my dreams or something.” 

He shakes his head, “Hell no. What if Jungkook really decks you with his motorcycle the second time around?” 

“True,” you say, “I’ll miss you, Hobi.” 

“Do me a favor when you get back, yeah?” he breaks apart from your embrace, squeezing your shoulders. “Go find me and try harder to be my friend, alright?” 

You deflate a little, “But you’re so cool, I’m a little intimidated. It’s different when you’re surrounded by kids like a mama duck.” 

“I know I’m cool, but just try,” he says, “and I’ll try to be your friend again, too.” 

The two of you hug again, this time not saying anything. At this time Bogum waddles up to the two of you, sweaty and damp as he collapses onto the blanket. The two of you laugh as Hoseok presses a paper towel to the boy’s head. 

Bogum scrunches his nose, “Why are you crying?” 

You sigh, reaching to lightly pinch his forearm. “I’m going to be gone for a little bit. So take care of Hoseok while I’m gone, okay?” 

Bogum frowns, but puffs his chest out and nods, “When will I see you again?” 

Instead of you answering, Hoseok cuts in for you. “Soon,” he says with finality, eyes darting between you and a satisfied Bogum. He looks at you and mouths, we’ll figure it out. 

This time around, you know you don’t have to worry. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

“Jungkook’s waiting in your room,” Taehyung jabs a thumb in the direction of your shared hallway. “Probably passed out and took a nap.” 

“Oh?” you check your phone, “he’s early then.” 

Taehyung shrugs, the strap off his backpack sliding down to his elbows. “Looked a little frazzled. Maybe he had a long day.” 

“Yeah, he said he had his first recording session. Maybe it was overwhelming.” 

Taehyung nods, moving past you to get to the door. “I gotta go back to the studio,” he grimaces, slipping on his loafers, “literally don’t give two fucks about Tiffany’s seniority. Her fashion taste is complete garbage and I’m ready to spend the rest of the night fighting her for it.”

“Good luck,” and in your haste, you wrap your arms around his waist. 

Taehyung’s surprised by the sudden bout of affection, but he returns eagerly as he squeezes you back. “See you in the morning, we’ll go finish that Kim Seokjin drama we started.” 

You force a smile back, “Yeah, see you.” 

You don’t leave the little space by the door until you’re sure that Taehyung is completely gone from your vicinity. Relaxing your shoulders, you pull off your layers and bag and place them on your corner of the living room. 

Padding quietly, you take your time in turning the doorknob to your bedroom in case Jungkook is still sleeping. 

To your surprise Jungkook is not sleeping, however. He’s hovered over your desk, looking up at you from your yellow notebook. 

“Y’know,” he says, tone sharp, “you really shouldn’t just leave your stuff laying out here like this. Anyone can read it.” 

You bristle, shutting the door behind you even though Taehyung was already long gone. Maybe you wanted to contain everything in your room, hoping Jungkook wouldn’t run away at the story you had behind this. 

“Usually people don’t come into my room to read stuff off my desk.” 

“What is this?” he asks, “some sci-fi novel you’re concocting? Why do you have so much information about me?” 

Over the course of your two months, you’ve added more and more to your logbook. It was the little things at first, like the differences between the Hoseoks and the Jimins. But then you felt like you were starting to forget your life back in W1, so you got to writing memories. Stupid, little tidbits about your relationship with Jungkook. Or the brands of wine you and Sehlyung would fawn over during your nights out. 

But Jungkook is pointing to a particular page in your notebook, fingers digging so hard that his nails are turning white. You step further into the bedroom, taking slow steps as you approach your desk. 

One sleepless night, you took it upon yourself to write the lyrics to Still With You. The lyrics are written plain as day, glittered with star and moon designs and a little air conditioner decorating the margins.  

Your heart drops as you see the hurt marring Jungkook’s features. 

“I haven’t told anyone about the songs I’ve written,” he says, pain dripping from his voice, “not even Yoongi. How on earth could you have found my song? How could you have known that I wrote it one night against my air conditioner?” 

You feel like cotton is blocking your throat, “Jungkook, I wanted to tell you tonight—” 

“What, that you really are a crazy stalker?” he steps back, whirling around so now he’s the one in the direction of the door. He takes two steps back, closer to the exit. “That I’ve been so dumb to believe your lies? That I should’ve left you on the street? That you still see me in whatever Jungkook you once knew and now you’re taking it out on me?” 

“Jungkook, please listen—” 

“Because now I know you and I can’t work out,” he spits with finality, hands finally finding the doorknob, “we will never work out—” 

“I know!” you finally scream, and Jungkook falters. You’re shaking, but not erratically. You’re sobbing, shoulders wracking as you let your body collapse against the desk chair. This conversation feels startlingly familiar, as if you’re back to square one. “Dammit Jungkook, why won’t you listen? I knew we would never work out.” 

Jungkook itches to hold you, and comfort you. Instead he sticks by the doorknob, feeling true to his findings. After all, the evidence is all in your notebook. While hard to decipher, it’s clear as day that you always knew a lot more than you’ve led on. He wants to ask more, but he’s far too hurt to continue tonight. 

“I’m sorry, y/n,” he whispers, and slams the door to your bedroom shut. 

Your body gives out, and you feel two tons heavier as you sink into your uncomfortable desk chair. Jungkook’s gone. Your heart’s not so much broken, but you feel awful for getting him mixed up into this. Seeing the betrayal and pain in his eyes is heartbreaking, especially coming from you, someone who doesn’t even belong here. 

The whole room seems to be suffocating you, swallowing you whole. A shelf filled with medical textbooks and science jargon. A corkboard filled with pictures of your friends and family, all memories that don’t belong to you. This isn’t your life. 

You need to get out of here, now. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

W1, four months before. 

Namjoon is sitting between Jungkook and you, like two children and a parent having to intervene. Only this time, you two are being child-like adults and Namjoon is taking up all the leg space sitting in the middle of the back row. 

Jungkook feels like he’s being squeezed through the open window, Namjoon refusing to adjust to his equally large size. He glares over his shoulder, finding you are paying no mind. He scoffs when he sees you nuzzled up against Namjoon’s blazer, babbling like a brook because you’re too wasted to form coherent sentences. 

“What were you going to achieve by doing that, huh?” Namjoon’s voice is devastatingly low, not bothering to look at the younger man. 

He sighs, letting the night breeze tickle his loose strands as he recalls what he did do. It’s all too clear on his end. Entering the bar was easy, after a few rounds with the gang Jungkook decided it was time to mingle. It doesn’t take long for a pretty girl to slide up next to him, with practiced ease finding her way to slot herself between his stretched out legs. And he let her. 

And you? You were livid, of course. He could practically feel the burn of your gaze singing at the back of his head. But you weren’t going to cause a scene, instead you favored Taehyung’s inability to relent and inhiberation to the highest degree. 

Which is why you’re all going home early, before it got too messy. 

Jungkook doesn’t answer in the quiet car, but your soft sobs do. 

You probably haven’t even registered that Jungkook is in the same vehicle. After all, they had to haul your deadweight into the seat because you could barely walk. 

“Why, wh-why Joonie?” your voice is muffled by the thick fabric of Namjoon’s tweed overcoat, nails digging into the seams. 

“Why what, bub?” 

“Why doesn’t he want me?” 

Jungkook’s throat clenches. 

“He’s just stupid,” Jungkook feels dumb, listening to Namjoon and you speak as if they’re all not pressed up against each other like skinny sardines in a too-hot van. “Not to be intrusive, but the two of you are in a complicated relationship.” 

You hum in agreement, your previous drunkenness mellowing out and turning into a tired haze. When you finally arrive at the apartment complex, Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to be the one to carry you upstairs. He barely gives Jungkook the opportunity as he sweeps you into his arms, making the way to your room. Jungkook follows the both of you like a stubborn duckling. 

When Namjoon manages to get the door unlocked, he turns to Jungkook. “You should go up with everyone else. Don’t bother coming in here unless you’re gonna apologize.” 

The door is wide open, and Namjoon straightens up as you float away to your bathroom, insisting you can wobble your way to get your makeup and clothes off. Jungkook tries his best to look confident in front of his elder, steeling his features. 

“I’ll apologize, you go up first.” 

Namjoon pulls his wristwatch out, “You got fifteen minutes. You can’t stay here tonight.” 

Jungkook flinches when he coolly brushes past him, slamming the door on his way out. He then busies himself in your small kitchenette, finding your favorite Hello Kitty mug and pouring you a glass of water. He places aspirin and the water next to your bedside table, ready when you need it. 

It’s been ten minutes since then, and he’s running out of time. Standing in front of your bathroom, he makes a move to knock. No answer. He can’t hear the water running, or faint lo-fi hip hop that you always liked to listen to before getting ready for bed. 

Taking a chance, he turns the knob only to find it unlocked. You’re sitting on the floor, knees hugged and only in a long t-shirt. 

“You can go,” you mumble into your knees, not wanting to make eye contact. “I’m fine.” 

Instead he fits himself into your bathroom, sitting next to you. You don’t bother to move and make room, so Jungkook has to squish himself to fit. “Listen, pretty girl–” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

He sighs, “I’m sorry. I was being a dick and you don’t deserve that. I disregarded our feelings and that isn’t fair to either of us.” 

“I said it was fine,” he sees how hard you’re glaring at the tile on your wall, nothing interesting but your eyes are ablaze. “I know why you did it.” 

He stays silent. 

“You want to push me away before we get hurt,” you state, “but you don’t get to decide that on your own, Jungkook. I’ll give you time, but don’t wag yourself in front of my face like I’m some shameless puppy begging for attention,” you get up shakily, and you hold out a hand in refusal to Jungkook’s immediate reaction, “it’s either all of me or none of me.” 

And for the second time that night the door slams in Jungkook’s face, forcing himself to make a decision. 

#jungkook fic #jungkook angst #goldenclosetnet #btsghostiebingo #bts fic #bts scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkooooooooooo

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, jimtremor!

For @jimtremor, who asked for basically anything. I did my best with that.

Read On AO3

*****

Useful Information

“Mr. McCall will be in the North Dorm and you Mr. Stillinski will go to the East.” The director of student affairs passes them Welcome packets, across his desk. Hn,

They both start to protest but Deaton holds up a quieting hand and stands, quickly moving them both out of his office. “I’m sure you’ll both adjust just fine. If there’s anything you need, my office hours are Monday and Friday 8am to 2pm.” He closes the door in their faces

****

“This is the stupidest idea ever,” Stiles says dropping his pack just inside the door to his new dorm. Stiles notices right away that the room is painfully neat for a college dorm.

“You can’t just throw people together and expect them to form proper pack bonds.”

He flops onto the empty bed across the room from what he assumes is his assigned Alpha and waits what he’s told is the appropriate amount of time for his new roommate to respond but the wolf just flicks hazel eyes at him, before going back to reading his novel.

“Scott— my best friend Scott, we applied to this place together. He’s going to be an Alpha and I’m going to be his bad-ass Emissary.” The wolf continues to ignore him and after a few minutes, Stiles huffs and starts unpacking.

It takes him a few minutes more to realize that his dorm is amazing. There’s a fridge. Not a mini fridge. A full-sized fridge in what might serve as a very quaint breakfast nook. The open area has a desk, a TV and closets next to the beds. When he opens the door to his, he finds a dresser and plenty of room for his meager belongings. His dad had been very proud of the fact that he entered college with a change of clothes, a martial arts trophy, and a six-pack (abs not beer). So Stiles was carrying on the family tradition. Sort of.

There’s a bathroom and if Stiles didn’t know any better a tub big enough to house jacuzzi jets.

“This place is amaaa—"

His roommate reaches over and clicks on a small iPhone dock that looks like a radio. It starts blasting some sort of German metal. Stiles stares at him for a moment before pulling out his grimoires ‘fine be that way then.’ he thinks, flipping through the pages to a spell he needs for his next class.

Scott is so going to hear about this dick.

****

“—a serious neat freak, and he acts like he can’t be bothered to answer even the simplest of questions. I swear Scotty we need to go over somebody’s head. It has to be a mistake that they split us up.”

“Derek Hale!?” Scott suddenly shouts sitting up from Allison’s lap. Stiles glances around hoping his best friend’s dorky exclamations aren’t drawing attention annnd yep people are staring.

“As in Hale Observatory? As in Hale Hall? AS IN THE HALE EXPLORATORY MEDICAL DEPARTMENT FOR THE SUPERNATURALLY INCLINED? The people who might be able to find a way to cure me?”

He says the last part much quieter. He’d worked harder than he ever had at anything to get into this private college. Hoping against hope that they’d somehow turn him back human. It wasn’t that Scott didn’t love every minute of being a wolf, it just came with a lot of baggage, including possibly outliving everyone important to you. Every human anyway.

“There’s no known cure for lycanthropy,” Allison says quietly.

Stiles glances up at the heavens, his ears burning. “Yeah my roommate is Derek Hale. Geez Scotty it’s not that big of a deal.” Scott stares at him as if he’s grown a second head.

“You—you’ve lived your whole life here and you think rooming with a Hale is not a big deal? The Hales own half the town and probably your house Stiles!” Scott’s volume is going up again and Stiles tries not to roll his eyes.

“Having a rich family doesn’t make you a big deal Scotty.”

Scott sputters his eyes going to Allison in a desperate plea for back-up. She just shrugs. Right. She just moved to Beacon hills so she wouldn’t know.

“HaAVing A RIcH FaMILY dOEsn’t maKe You a bIG DeAL.” Scott says half snidely, half mockingly under his breath.

Stiles cocks his head to the side, like he’s trying figure out who the crazy person was possessing his best friend and they begin one of their famous silent conversations.

‘I’m not an idiot’ Scott thinks at him

‘I know Scott but really it’s no big deal. He’s like a totally normal asshole. A painfully neat asshole.’

‘Think you can maybe talk to him about the whole *my best friend is a werewolf who didn’t ask to be a werewolf thing*? Maybe mention that your best friend is desperate for some guidance as to where to find a cure’

‘There’s no cure for werewolf-ism Scott! And Scotty. Friend. Buddy. Pal. I can’t even talk to him about where to put my toothbrush in the bathroom. Apparently it’s important to keep your toothbrush as far away from the toilet as possible. He even has this little protective cover on his.’

“Huh. I just thought of something.” Allison says breaking into the silent conversation. “Maybe they want you to be the new Hale emissary.”

Stiles and Scott both turn to stare at her.

“Huh” they both say

She pretends to study, but Stiles can totally see the dimple at her cheek deepen.

****

Derek is particular about his space, and his things. It’s normal for a wolf. Even at boarding school they hadn’t made him share a room, although maybe that had more to do with the hefty donation his mother had made and less to do with his werewolf sensibilities.

Stiles is in his space for less than a day and he’s somehow everywhere. He smells woodsy- like wet leaves and rain when he finally decides to shower off the cheap body spray. He puts his toothbrush in the wrong spot on the sink and unpacks his one box of belongings.

There’s a pile of spell books on the floor under his bed and pots of herbs line the windows. He doesn’t know what’s in the jars in his fridge and he doesn’t want to know. Instead, he politely tries to tidy Stiles’ things, but it seems like they just gravitate back to where Stiles left them. He does his best not to growl whenever the emissary walks into the room.

His annoyance level is already high. The welcome packet was clear that he was meant to start a pack with this kid. That they should spend their time working together and bonding for the sake of their future pack.

Everything about him was a mess, and Derek didn’t do messy. Not anymore. He’s half asleep when the scent of arousal teases at his senses. He wants to growl but he’s done that for the last several hours. This was definitely not happening.

****

‘Use your finger. Just one. You should be able to find it pretty easily.’

Stiles groaned into his pillow. He was on a dry spell. And when he was on a dry spell he always thought of Lydia. His other best friend, the girl who helped him find his G-spot. He’d flirted with every big dark-haired wolf he came across, but they’d all turned him down. It was strange. It was almost like they were actively trying to avoid even talking to him.

Stiles reached into his pajama bottoms, the memory of Lydia’s very thorough instruction all those years ago is still his favorite, although watching Derek workout was a close second.

“If you’re gonna jerk it, at least have the courtesy to do it when I’m not here. Stiles jerked his hand from his underwear at the miserable tone in Derek’s voice.

“Um..”

“Yeah, I can smell it. For days.”

Stiles groaned and dragged his pillow over his head.

‘who thought the human/werewolf hybrid dorm was a good idea anyway?’

****

Derek keeps his face neutral as he listens to Dr Deaton’s analysis of werewolf mating practices. He’s a little more accurate than the usual crowd but there were still things he’s getting wrong. The emissaries were always considered some kind of authority but human experts on werewolf mating rituals tended to start off wondering if human werewolves really grew knots whenever there was a full moon.

Deaton is at least trying to debunk a lot of the weird lore humans tended to apply to werewolves and it sort of gives Derek hope. Maybe this year he *won’t* have to listen to a half assed lecture on werewolf anatomy and moon cycles. Derek’s hope deflates when he hears the words Transitory Bite.

The last time he put a temporary mark on someone it almost started a war between hunters and humans and gotten him shipped off to boarding school. His mother had kept him out of Beacon Hills for three years. It had taken joining forces with his uncle to convince her he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Now he was being told to mark some random dorky kid like it wasn’t a total imposition. He had a right to choose or not choose to mark someone and his mother needed to understand that he wasn’t interested in his life spinning out of control a second time.

“I’m not doing it.” Derek gets up to leave but Deaton steps in front of him hands raised. “I assure you Mr. Hale this is necessary. Starting a pack and choosing a mate can be extremely difficult. A transitory bite will allow you to test your compatibility with the mate you were matched with.”

“It won’t work” he growls eyeing Stiles

Stiles’ face is bright red, and he keeps his eyes on the toe of his sneakers. He’d been wearing them since high school. They were his favorite pair. He wishes he’d thought to clean them sometime in the last six years.

So that’s why everyone had been treating him so strangely. He was probably Derek Hale’s mate. He really should have read the welcome packet. He tunes out the rest of the conversation and tries to ignore the hot twist of humiliation in his stomach.

Derek tries to focus on what Deaton is saying but Stiles scent is rapidly changing. The burnt ash flavor of Distress and Despair fills up his senses and it’s all he can do not to gather the entire boy into his arms and run away with him.

“I don’t need this there are—there are plenty of wolves who would love—love to have me for a mate.” Stiles gathers his things as he tries to save face. It’s bad enough this is happening, but he can’t bring himself to look at the other pairs.

“Fine”

Stiles is almost to the door when that single word freezes him in place. He swallows and waits.

Derek moves him back against the nearest wall, with just a few intimidating steps. His hand lands on Stiles’ shoulder, his fingers brushing against the skin at the base of his neck. Derek’s hand slides up the side of his throat, and Stiles sways toward him. He growls at his traitorous body and forces every muscle to stay stiff as a board. The corner of Derek’s mouth kicks up and then he’s leaning in, letting his teeth scrape across the smooth skin at the base of Stiles’ neck.

Stiles gives an unmanly squeak when Derek’s teeth skin in, the pain just barely registering before he feels the brief swipe of Derek’s tongue across the wound. Derek stares at the mark for a long time before turning and leaving.

***

Stiles only has two classes with Scott, but he and Derek share the exact same itinerary. Even though Derek can’t really do the magic part, they’re expected to show a united front, so he sits off to the side and glares at everything and everyone.

Stiles spends his time doodling the different angles of Derek’s head during each class into the margins of his grimoire. When there’s wolf lore he flicks his eyes across the room to Derek. His can almost tell by the set of Derek’s brows whether the stuff being taught is accurate or total bullshit.

He tries to connect with the other students in his classes, but they tended to cut the conversations short or avoid him altogether. He’s pretty certain this only happens when Derek is around. He starts to feel boxed in, like the only reason he was there was to be slotted into the Hale pack, like everything about his future had already been decided. His whole week had been classes more about pack politics and somewhat less about exploring his abilities as an emissary.

Lydia listened patiently while he complained. It was a call that had lasted all the way across campus, and back to his dorm. She wanted to roll her eyes. For a kid who was curious about everything, Stiles hadn’t shown the slightest interest in learning about the alpha he’d been assigned to.

Stiles complained constantly that he was always around. Which was technically exactly how he was supposed to behave toward his potential mate. Lydia was testing herbal mixtures. Hopefully the small satchels would give Stiles some semblance of privacy or at least get Derek to give Stiles some space.

“You need to read the welcome packet Stiles. It’ll help you adjust to living with a wolf. And come to the party tonight.” Lydia says flipping through her notes. “I’ll introduce you to some guys who definitely won’t say no.”

He keeps glancing at Derek, but Derek’s attention stays on his novel, his thumb, sliding to leisurely turn pages. Derek’s pretending not to listen again, so he decides to be that guy. He refused to stay trapped in whatever game Derek was playing.

“Yeah. I’ll be there. I’m really looking forward to getting dicked down again” Derek doesn’t look up, but Stiles can practically feel the way he pauses in the middle of a page turn.

He hides a smile and goes to brush his teeth.

****

Lydia flits through the party commiserating with her numerous slightly-better-than-facebook acquaintances. They make it to the kitchen with Stiles only being handed three phone numbers and groped four times. He briefly wonders if other potential alpha mates are treated this way and then he remembers that he kinda wants to be treated this way.

Stiles is wearing his best button-up and his sluttiest pair of jeans. He fully intends to end the night with his legs wrapped around someone, anyone. It’s a surprise when they leave the kitchen with their drinks and Stiles is brought up short by the feeling of eyes on him. It only takes him a minute to spot his alpha across the room.

Derek is slouched onto the frat house’s well-worn couch like some kind of artist’s dream. He’s wearing tight black jeans ripped in all the right places and a leather jacket. His gaze starts to heat up as Stiles’ eyes hungrily catalogue every inch of him. Stiles eyes settle on the bulge in the tight jeans and Derek just lets his legs relax open. Stiles’ mouth goes dry and his dick gives a hard twitch.

Stiles does his best to ignore the feeling of the wolf’s eyes on him. It’s annoying that Derek can’t seem to make up his mind about ignoring him.

***

Stiles loses count of how many drinks he’s had and that’s when he gets the best idea. He can feel the wolf’s eyes on him as he moves across the room and one of the frat brothers steps into his space. Price or Preston something. He doesn’t even bother listening to whatever the guy is saying, just steps close and bites his lip.

Preston’s eyes drop to them and immediately his tone changes and he wraps an arm around Stiles’ waist. Stiles grins and runs his hands up Preston’s chest. Preston draws him close.

“I love the way emissaries smell,” he says leaning down and taking a deep breath against the side of his neck. Stiles laughs, because at best he smells like Axe shampoo mixed with a litany of the various herbs they have to learn to mix. It’s not a great combination. He tries to put some distance between him and the wolf, but Preston keeps, pulling him close and grinding against him.

Stiles thinks blearily that he’d like to get laid but not in the middle of a werewolf frat party and definitely not with the guy who thinks Axe and sage are a great combination. He tries to tell Preston this but Preston just keeps rambling on and Stiles’ alcohol soaked brain reminds him in his fourth grade teacher’s voice that it’s important to be polite and listen when people are talking.

This was a bad idea.

He suddenly feels Derek is next to him, and he wants to tell him that he has the prettiest eyes, but Preston is still talking, and he has to keep pretending to listen.

“I need to have a word with my roommate” Derek’s eyes flash as he glances at Stiles before stepping between him and Preston. Stiles watches as Preston stutters and stumbles, like a fan meeting their idol. He tilts his head and drops his shoulders in some parody of submissive behavior. Stiles scoffs and glances around the room. None of the humans are paying attention but all of the wolves are watching them closely.

He watches Derek tilt up Preston’s chin with one wicked black claw. “A Beta should know better” He pulls back his lips in a parody of a smile and shows his long sharp teeth. Preston swallows and raises his hands as if he only just realized he’d been flirting with an Alpha’s future mate. He moves as slowly as he can and backs out of the room one step at a time. Derek watches him until he’s certain the other wolf is gone and turns back to Stiles.

Red begins to seep from behind his irises and his smile turns hard. “I’ll kill anyone who touches you.”

He says it softly, but he’s still showing Stiles his teeth.

Stiles holds his gaze ignoring the little thrill he gets from the way Derek is looking at him. “I’m not your property wolf.”

“You are” Derek responds his eyes fully red. Derek’s hand settles around the back of Stiles’ neck, his thumb just barely brushing against the still-tender mark.

Stiles takes a shuddery breath, unable to break the hold Derek’s possessive gaze has on him. He relaxes his shoulders tilts his head back just slightly. It’s enough of an invitation but Derek doesn’t move to kiss him. Instead, he leans in until his lips against Stiles’ ear.

“Careful who you tease,” he breathes

Stiles shivers, wanting to call out to his alpha. Derek is long gone when he’s finally able to catch his breath.

****

Stiles doesn’t light the herbs Lydia mixed. He was tired of living like some reclusive monk.

He knows that Derek will probably know immediately. He knows the smell of sex could linger but he doesn’t care. He wants Derek to know and he wants Derek to come for him. He imagines the wolf coming home right when he’s just about there. He knows he’d probably run not because of embarrassment if Derek saw him.

He’d run because he knew Derek would chase. He’d run because he wanted to be caught. Stiles lets his imagination free. It’s been a week and he’s tired of caring about Derek’s sensibilities.

It would be a real hunt. Derek would simply stay on his heels nipping at him playfully, claws tearing off bits of his clothes. Stiles would run until he couldn’t breathe and then Derek would show himself. The wolf first. Its sleek black fur would glow under the moon and Stiles would lie back and tilt his chin up.

“Alpha.” He’d whisper, and Derek would take his human form naked and proud under the moon, he’d stare down at Stiles with a cocky grin. He’d enjoy watching Stiles submit to him.

“Stiles,” he’d growl and Stiles’ cock would stand up.

Stile bit into his palm, his fist flying over his cock, the sweet-smelling lotion he used as lube squishing between his fingers and making a lewd sound with every movement of his hand.

Derek’s teeth would sink into him properly this time and claim him, claim him, claim him…

Stiles gasped and came all over his fist.

Fuck. He needed to get laid before this got out of control. Before it got more out of control.

****

“So. Uhhh, about yesterday…”

Stiles is standing awkwardly in front of Derek’s bed. It’s all he’s been able to say for a good five minutes. That and some version of ‘Huuhmn. mn.’ Because Derek is currently shirtless. His feet are hooked into the openings between the bars on the baseboard of his bed and he’s burning through crunches like there’s a delicious zero calorie chocolate cake waiting for him if he hits a thousand.

His eyes skitter around the room because he knows if he keeps his eyes on Derek Hale for more than a few seconds he’ll end up embarrassing himself. He drags his palm from his chest down, just barely remembering to stop before he hits the waist of his jeans. Even he can still smell the lingering scent of sex in the room. He’s almost certain Derek’s lip curls up slightly at this but it’s hard to tell, what with all the sweat and muscles flexing.

It’s another ten minutes before Derek finishes his workout. Stiles completely forgot what he wanted to talk about. He just stands quietly watching Derek’s tight abs. When he manages to meet Derek’s eyes the wolf is glaring at him, and Stiles tries to open a hole in the floor with his mind. He doesn’t try too hard. The power of his will had been known to surprise him from time to time.

The wolf moves around him with a disgusted sniff and heads for the bathroom.

He looks even more annoyed when he exits the shower. It’s a full 3 minutes of Derek staring at the back of his neck before he finally lets himself meet the wolf’s eyes.

“What?” he asks. It’s easy enough to pretend he doesn’t already know. Derek’s kind deeply respects druids, just not Stiles shaped Druids apparently.

“You’re an Alpha-Mate”

Stiles blinks. This is first time since he was marked that Derek brought up the subject. And he sounded kinda… Pissed.

“Sooo….?” Stiles draws the word out to emphasize his confusion.

You. Are. An Alpha's. Mate.” Derek’s words come out a harsh growl that makes Stiles feel cold everywhere. Cold and Embarrassed.

“I’m not the one…”

“I’m not the one throwing myself at every wolf I come across!” Derek snarls.

Stiles cheeks pinken, but he hold’s Derek’s terrible gaze.

“I’m not the one denying my mate.” He says the words as quietly as he can, but they seem to echo loudly in the room once he’s said them.

It’s Derek’s turn to take on color.

Stiles doesn’t regret saying it.

He regrets not following when Derek walks out.

****

Allison and Scott both tell him he’s an idiot. For an hour. And then they make him read the welcome packet. He realizes after his third read-through he might owe Derek an apology.

When he gets back to their room Derek is organizing his herb garden. He keeps arranging them first by name, then color. He clears his throat and Derek pauses but doesn’t turn around.

“Did you know that wolves get really territorial about people they live with? That they only like certain people in their personal space?”

Derek moves from arranging plants to slotting his books into the low bookshelf next to his bed.

“And did you know that a wolf’s mate should probably never throw themselves at other wolves?”

He hears a quiet scoff and Derek finally looks at him over his shoulder.

“You’re asking me, a wolf if I know about wolves?”

Stiles shrugs and continues “Because I didn’t know.” He says stepping up behind him and wrapping his arms around Derek’s waist.

“You should have read the welcome packet Stiles”

Stiles lets out a choked laugh and presses his mouth to the back of Derek’s neck.

“Yeah. I know. It really is full of useful information.”

#jimtremor #stereksanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

[kristoffsloveisntfragile]

Quarantine Love Story

Rating: T; Some swearing.

Word Count: 3,683

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna

Summary: Modern AU; Kristoff and Anna are roommates, and have been for 3 years. With them being stuck with each other in the same house for the past couple months, some things revealed themselves.

Notes: I started writing this in the beginning of quarantine, so some of the stuff in this may be a little outdated, but it still works I guess. I was worried that since it seemed like quarantine was going to end that this story wouldn’t work anymore, but you know, the world isn’t happening like that anymore, so we may be in quarantine for a while now. WEAR YOUR MASK AND WASH YOUR HANDS. ALSO BLACK LIVES STILL MATTER EVEN IF IT ISN’T TRENDING ANYMORE. DONATE, SIGN PETITION, SPEAK OUT. Thx, and enjoy the story :).

Day...Who knows anymore?

I write in my journal today wanting to write, but don’t really have anything to report. I think I’m keeping this journal in hopes someone finds this in the future and I become known as the modern Anne Frank. Seeming how we had similar experiences, stuck inside the same place, with the same people that I’m faced to see everyday. Every once in a while I see my sister, whether on facetime or she really wants to see me and comes over, and always gifts me with cadbury mini eggs...oof I’m even craving them now.

But besides that, I’ll go back to reality and wait until my roommate comes back with a bunch of groceries that were hopefully in stock. Until tomorrow, journal.

Anna set down her journal and pen and went back out to check if Kristoff came back from the store yet. When she saw that he wasn’t back, she grabbed a cup and poured the rest of her favorite juice in it. Since she couldn’t do much, she’s just been eating and drinking all of her snacks and drinks. She hoped he bought her more at the store.

When she heard his car pull up, she put her empty glass in the sink and ran outside to help him. She approached the back of the car, and saw that it was slowly opening, and also saw Kristoff getting out of the driver’s seat.

“Anything good still stocked?” She asked, then she truly saw how much stuff he got, and was genuinely shocked, “Wow,”

“Yep, the thing was the staff were restocking some products so I watched and waited a good 3-5 minutes after they were done to go for it. Probably took me a little longer than I wanted, but the outcome is great.”

Anna just started going in and taking some bags into the apartment, until she was stopped by his words, “Just don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done,”

“Yeah, I will, don’t worry.” Anna kind of cut him off, and then continued back inside.

She couldn’t lie to herself, she was starting to get a little annoyed with Kristoff’s constant reminder to clean up after a day out.. She’s perfectly healthy, exercises on a sort-of daily basis; with them stuck inside her schedule has been off a little bit.

She just hoped she didn’t tick off Kristoff by cutting him off like that, she knows he’s just looking out for her, especially since they live together. Even before all of this, Kristoff was kind of a neat-freak, so she expected this to happen. I mean, after all, he did take her in when she really had nowhere else to go, since no place seemed right and she had just gone through a rough break up. Kristoff was a good friend and offered his place, for as long as she needed.

They brought in the rest of the bags and started unloading. She went into one bag, “Oh, yes! Thank you for getting the juice, I just drank the last of it.” Anna laughed, and then saw another bottle in the same bag, “Really? Vodka?”

Kristoff chuckled, “Hey, it was on sale, and we could all need some loosening up.” Kristoff smirked at Anna.

“I’m just surprised at the amount of people staying sober at this time.” Anna said.

After everything was put away, Anna went into the bathroom and washed her hands, as she promised, and hummed her favorite song. Not only to ensure she was washing for 20+ seconds, but she just liked to sing when she was doing mindless tasks. Kristoff went into the bathroom to retrieve something from the medicine cabinet, and admired her hummed voice. Once he was going around the apartment and doing his own things, he realized he was humming it too. He liked the song too, and couldn’t stop hearing it being sung in Anna’s voice. It was like entering heaven to him. He shook the thought out of his mind, and decided to really get his mind off of being cooped up in the apartment, so he went to the basement and worked out for a bit, enough to get some sweat out and his mind completely off of Anna.

~~~

A little while later, Anna had snuggled up on the couch as she usually does each night now, just starting the night with the 5th Harry Potter movie, Order of the Phoenix. Already comfortable with her blanket and her hot chocolate, Kristoff comes out of the bathroom from taking a shower after the exercise. He smiled when he saw Anna, so intently focused on the movie, but then he looked at the time.

“Starting the marathon rather late are we?” Kristoff passed by her to go to his room.

“Meh, I may only watch one tonight.” Anna said loud enough so Kristoff could hear her. He came back out with a cozy sweater on and sat on the other couch in the living room.

“That’s alright by me.” Kristoff got comfortable, and watched the movie with Anna.

The scene that was on was when Harry had detention with Professor Umbridge.

Harry stares into Dolores’ cold, dead eyes, trying to have a hint of sweetness. He wants to scream at her for what she had just done to his hand with the enchanted feather. But decided against it. Bad stuff has been happening already. “Nothing.”

“That’s right,” She whispers. “Cause you know, deep down...you deserve to be punished. Don’t you Mr.Potter?” She stares sinisterly at Harry.

Anna mumbles under her breath, “That bitch…” Kristoff laughs at her comment.

~~~

“You’re a really good teacher Harry.” Cho said, “I’ve never been able to stun anything before.” Cho looks up, a mistletoe starts forming above Harry and Cho’s head, she looks at Harry and whispers, “Mistletoe…”

Harry looks at Cho, “Probably full of nargles.” He says softly.

“What are nargles?”

“No idea.” Harry leans in to have his first kiss with Cho, alone in the Room of Requirement, sharing this moment together.

“You know, as a kid I didn’t like the idea of Cho and Harry getting together, but now they are kinda cute together…” Anna said, taking another sip of her hot chocolate that she made another cup of.

“Yeah, but then she totally rats them out about the Room of Requirement, and blows their chances by losing his trust.” Kristoff blatantly says.

“Uh, spoilers much?” Anna smirked.

“Oh come on, like you haven’t seen this whole series a thousand times.” Kristoff chuckled.

“Yeeeaaahhh but everytime I watch it likes I’m seeing it again for the first time.” Anna says.

Kristoff looks back and Harry Potter is explaining his first kiss to Herminoe and Ron, but his mind was still on the scene prior, how Harry had his first kiss and how happy he was to talk about it with his friends. Sure his friends (Herminoe) still found a way to see the hardships that Cho was going through, but Kristoff hoped whoever he’d end up with, his friends would be happy and only think of positives. 

He found that he was then looking at Anna. His subconscious knew that she was the one he was talking about, when he thought of who he would end up with.

‘Yeah, in your dreams Kristoff.’ His mind also thought. He shakes his head and gets up to get a drink and a snack.

He opened the cupboard where the alcohol is, and saw that it was already open. He didn’t realize Anna already got to it, since both times she made a cup of hot chocolate he wasn’t looking at her. But that still drove him to ask, “Did you already have some of the vodka?”

Anna looked over, then looked at her drink, and then took a sip, as if he just didn’t ask her a question.

He laughed, and made himself a vodka soda and got one of the snack pack puddings, an adult drink with a kid snack. Kristoff in a nutshell.

He returned to the movie and kinda kept an eye on Anna, seeing if he can tell if she was getting more drunk as the night went on.

~~~

“Do you want any help finding them?” Harry asked Luna, wanting to help find her stuff that people took. Luna smiles and shakes her head, she would be fine on her own.

Her expression falls as she says, “I’m sorry about your Godfather Harry…” She reaches out her hand and takes Harry’s. He is shocked and looks at the contact between them, and looks back up to meet Luna’s eyes. They let go of each other.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help looking?” Harry asks again.

“That’s alright. Anyway, my mom always said, ‘the things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end’.” Her gaze wanders, and she sees her shoes hung from the archway, and Harry follows her gaze. “If not always in the ways we expect... Think I’ll go have some pudding.” She turns and skips away toward the Dining Hall, and Harry looks back at the shoes. He takes the lessons he just learned to heart. He did a quick smirk to himself.

“oH my gOd pudding would be amazing right now!” Anna says a little too loudly and abruptly, startling Kristoff a little bit, but he laughs it off. 

“There’s still some snack packs, want me to go grab you one?”

“That, would be great thanksssssss” Anna leans off the side of the couch and smiles with her eyes closed at Kristoff, as he gets up and gets another pack for him and one for Anna.

The rest of the movie finishes and Anna is smiling hard as ever. Order of the Phoenix is one of her favorite movies because of the ending lesson, ‘something worth fighting for’. 

“Wooo! God I love that movie.” She looked at the time on her phone, “Ahh, couldn’t hurt to watch one more right?”

Kristoff huffed, “Whatever you want, princess.” He calls her that when he didn’t care what she did, just so long it wasn’t illegal.

She hopped up from the couch, trying to keep her balance, as the alcohol is definitely starting to settle into her. She took out Order of the Phoenix, and put in Half-Blood Prince and sat back down. Kristoff saw how cozy and comfortable Anna looked, with her blanket and big sweater. How he wished he could just snuggle up with her, but that would seem inappropriate, so he just went to his room and got one pillow and a small blanket, actually it was the one Anna gave to Kristoff last Christmas, the first one they really spent together.

Kristoff set up his stuff on the couch and Anna remarked, “Are you gonna sleep out here tonight or what?” She huffed a drunken laugh.

“Nah, if we’re gonna watch another movie I might as well be comfortable.” He looked over at her, and again she was slumped over the side, as she found some comfort in that. “Plus, what if you end up passing out and I gotta clean up everything?”

“I won’t pass out, I’m not that drunk.” Some seriousness poked through. “Besides, you’ll fall asleep before me, you always do when watching movies.”

“Not when I have my vodka soda.” He raised his glass to his lips and gave a cheeky look to her. “You know that. By that rate, at my second one, I won’t fall asleep until I hit my head on my actual bed.”

She mocked his words and started the movie.

~~~

Some point during the movie, in one of the quiet parts, Kristoff noticed that Anna shivered, and her eyes got droopy. 

“Anna, you good?”

“Yeah, just got chilly-y, all of a sudden.” 

“Are you sick or something? Are you sure you feel okay?” Kristoff jumped up and put his hand to her forehead.

She laughed and swiped his hand away. “Trust me, I’m fine. Is like the window open or something? They said it was going to get cold tonight.”

Kristoff looked around the living room and as it turns out, there was the window open, one of the bigger ones in the room, causing cold air to get in. “See? Told you.” Anna says.

“Sorry, I’ve just been getting more paranoid lately. You never know.” He gets up to shut the window.

“Yeah, but even I knew that the cold air was making me cold, not the virus that I could’ve contracted. Which I didn’t. I’m certain. I’m healthy and fine, and have barely been in contact with anything or anyone.”

“I know..It’s just...you never know…” He quietly said as he went back to his seat on the other couch.

“But I do! Don’t you trust my word?”

“Of course I trust you! It’s just I…” Kristoff didn’t want to say it. He was trying to just get past it. But Anna wouldn’t let up.

“What? You what?” Anna persisted.

“I just care about you too much okay?!” Kristoff blurted out and looked at Anna with wide eyes. But immediately took them back and sank into the couch, trying to glue his eyes to the TV. Hoping she would take it not in the way he meant it.

“You...care about me?” Anna was taken back a little.

“I mean. You’re my roommate. To a degree I have to care about your well being.” Kristoff tried to distract from the actual fact that Kristoff liked Anna. Like, really liked her.

“No...that’s not what you mean.” Anna said, almost in a whisper. 

“Look don’t read into it too much, I just meant…” Kristoff stopped when he looked at Anna to finally make eye contact with her, but that’s when he noticed a small smile started to creep up on her face.

Dammit… She knows...But, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

“Kristoff, I…” She started to say.

“Don’t...just…” Kristoff tried to keep brushing it off.

“I know what you mean, though.” Anna shifted on the couch to fully face him, setting down her mug.

Kristoff looked at her, for what felt like forever. There was just silence. 

“Kristoff...do you..” Anna started to say, but then was cut off by Kristoff.

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it. We’re roommates, that’s all.” He got up and went to his room, shutting the door. Not too loudly, he wasn’t mad or anything, just embarrassed.

If at all he was ever going to admit his feelings for Anna, this isn’t the way he imagined it. He laid on his bed, with one pillow and blanket missing, and tried to just get past the moment. He was certain she wasn’t feeling the same things as he did. 

It took a couple minutes but Anna knocked on Kristoff’s door. He looked at the door, he decided not to say anything, and just laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. 

“Kristoff?..” Anna said quietly. “I know you’re still awake. I also know you can’t sleep with the lights on.” 

Kristoff sighed. “You already know it’s open too.” He shut his eyes tight to make sure it was all real.

He heard the door creak open and he looked to his right, and saw Anna slowly walk in. When the door was half open, she just stood there holding the doorknob. “Yeah, but that doesn’t always mean I’m invited in.” She said, looking a little hurt.

“Of course you’re invited in, you’re my roommate.” He sat up and waved his hand for her to come in more.

Anna went to the edge of the bed and sat on the very edge, to where it looked like she was going to fall off. 

“You’re making it seem like I’m mad at you.” Kristoff said.

“Well, are you?” Anna barely looked into his eyes.

“No of course not. How can I ever be mad at you?” Kristoff said. 

“Well…” Anna adjusted herself to sit better. “How long have you..?”

Kristoff sighed. “Well...first of all I never said anything about liking you.” Anna laughed a little at that. “And second...God, I don’t even remember anymore. It’s been a while. On and off.”

“Why? Why on and off?” 

“Because you always showed interest in other guys, not me. Or, if you did you did very well to hide it.” Kristoff managed to crack a smile. 

“Well, yeah I guess.” Anna mumbled and looked down at her hands, as she was nervously playing with them.

“There just never seemed like the right time. I mean hell, I took you in when you had nowhere else to go because of that jerk, um.. Lars?”

She scoffed, “Hans..”

“Whatever. I wanted to be there for you and comfort you, but at the same time, I was afraid I would fall hard way too soon, and you needed the space too, so...I don’t know what I’m even saying anymore.” Kristoff backed off from trying to explain his feelings.

“Wait, so, you’ve liked me, since I moved in? That was like, 3 years ago. Multiple relationships between us have come and gone, and...you still had interest in me this whole time?” Anna asked.

“Well...yeah.” Kristoff managed to get out.

Anna smiled, but didn’t know what else to say. So didn’t Kristoff, especially since she hasn’t admitted her feelings, he was just there going about his feelings, feeling like an idiot. So there was just silence between them.

Anna finally thought of something to say. “You know. Since I’ve been here so long with you, I’ve gotten comfortable with you. Like the first time I really had a nightmare, I stayed out in the living room, and then you came out and hugged me until I felt comfortable. After that, if I had a nightmare, I would just come in here and tell you that I need comfort. And you didn’t hesitate to do that. And there’s many more things that I was willing to do because I felt more closer and connected with you. Like tonight. I almost asked if you wanted to just sit on the same couch as I was on. But I felt that was taking it too far...and many more things too because we both had a relationship at one point or another. So I guess what I’m saying is...it’s back on for me. And it has been for a while.”

That last part got Kristoff’s attention. Did she just admit her feelings?

“You mean…?” Kristoff asked.

“I like you too Kristoff.” She finally said.

Kristoff couldn’t contain his smile. 

“Does that smile mean you feel the same way?” 

“Of course it does Anna. Like I said, I care about you. And like you predicted, I’m head over heels for you.” 

She quickly crawled over to him and gave him a hug. The weird thing was, is that there was no weird feeling. It all felt so right for them. Like they belonged together. 

They parted to look at each other. Kristoff did immediately feel bad for something though.

“Look, I’m sorry if I seemed very over protective of you. It’s just with everything going on…”

“I know. It’s okay. I get why, and sorry if I did seem annoyed on the outside, on the inside it felt heartwarming knowing that someone was concerned on that level. Like yeah Elsa asks if I’m okay, and I get a couple texts from other people, but...well I guess all those people can’t be too protective because they don’t live with me like you do, so a text is the next best thing to check up on someone-”

“Wow, I forgot how much you like to ramble-”

Already 2 minutes into this relationship and Anna smacks him playfully for his comment.

“Hey! I think it’s adorable, is what I was going to say.” Kristoff smiled again. So did Anna once she realized it was a compliment he was paying her.

They just sat in each other's arms for a bit, basking in the fact that they were a thing now. After 3 years of living together, and the past few months of being cooped up together, it finally happened. Anna finally piped up to say something.

“Well...now you know that I’m perfectly fine, do you mind if I..” Anna asked, almost scared to say the ending of her sentence.

“If you kiss me?” Kristoff said, finishing her sentence, and then gently laughed. “You know, I was thinking the same thing.” He looked deep into her eyes and leaned toward her. She accepted his lips as they pressed into hers. They both smiled into each other. 

She hummed her excitement as they parted. Anna’s eyes were closed as she smiled. Kristoff laughed again at her dopey-looking face. 

“What do you say we watch the rest of Harry Potter on the same couch?” Kristoff asked her.

“Okay, now you read my mind.” Anna managed to get out of Kristoff’s embrace, but grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. Anna was not afraid to get touchy and close to him, and neither was he. Kristoff grabbed Anna’s waist and slightly picked her up and he plopped on the couch with Anna landing on top of him. They got comfortable, with Anna’s big blanket covering them both, they picked up where they left off with the movie, and just enjoyed each other for the rest of the movie, until they eventually fell asleep.

Kristoff did wake up because of the fact that Anna was moving and mumbling as she was sleeping. It took him a second to wake up, then he picked her up and brought her to his room. He got her and himself comfortable, and went back to sleep with her in his arms.

~Morning After~

Day Whatever of Quarantine

Oh. My. God. Journal, you have no idea what I’m about to tell you. And it’s good. So good, my hand will be hurting after this entry...

#kristanna fanfiction #kristanna fanfic #kristanna #kristoff #anna #frozen #fanfiction #fanfic #quarantine love story

[crocodileniall]

Part 10 

Quinn wasn’t sure whether to laugh or let the comment fuel the fire inside of her. But Niall was smiling in the bantery way he always did. Quinn relaxed a bit against her chair. “You don’t want to live with me?” 

Niall shrugged, hands clasping together on the table. “You’re quite messy. Said it yourself.”

“This isn’t going to work,” Quinn laughed, standing up. “Reverse logic or whatever you want to call it. Not going to work.” 

“I’m not using reverse logic,” Niall laughed, standing up, collecting their plates from the table. Quinn had consequently forgotten about them, already ready to go into her bedroom. “And don’t worry I’ll clean up like I always do.” 

catch up here

warnings: mentions of adult content, swearing and alcohol use

            ♡ ♡

Summer rolled around faster than Quinn had even realized. Niall made partner months ago and since then, their routine became something that Quinn relied heavily on. They’d gone from barely speaking in a week to eating dinner every night. 

It varied. Sometimes they cooked at Quinn’s and sometimes they ordered in. It was all a haze of banter that lead right into the bedroom. It was the happiest and most at peace Niall had been with his life in a while. Quinn didn’t have too many complaints either. Maybe just that Niall hogged the sheets at night. 

Mid august marked their seventh month together and it was almost nauseating how in love they were. Evie hated them with every passing second they spent together. Which is why the solution was almost perfect. 

Evie had gotten certified as a yoga instructor and started making decent money. Quinn spent almost all of her time at Niall’s anyways. When the idea was proposed, it was almost a bit odd that Evie mentioned it. 

“You guys should just move in together,” Evie chuckled. It was an innocent comment that had Quinn sitting like a deer in headlights. 

“We do spend a lot of time together,” Niall agreed, chuckling. But his intention was never more that. 

It was Quinn who almost lost it at the dinner table. She took a gulping sip of water. Evie looked over at her, eyebrows raising. “Oh here we go she’s about to freak out.” 

Quinn set her cup down, breathing a bit heavy. Niall looked at her, eyes a bit wide. “Why?” 

“She has commitment issues, obviously,” Evie rolled her eyes. She leaned forward. “do ya need a paper bag.”

Quinn pushed Evie away, shaking her head. The idea seemed absurd. To move in together. Seven months was a long time and spending days at a time together was easy for them. They weren’t sick of each other just yet. 

Who’s to say that wouldn’t happen if they moved in? And they were stuck in a lease together. That sounds like Quinn’s worst nightmare. 

“It was just a joke,” Niall told her, eyes filling concern. “If the thought of moving in with me makes you do that maybe we’ve got something to talk about.” 

“No it’s...” Quinn rushed out, head falling to her hands. “It’s not that. I just can’t help but think of everything that could go wrong? Getting stuck in a lease? Hating each other?” 

Niall let out a self deprecating laugh. “Both of which would be a result of a breakup. Obviously you think we’re going to break up.”

“I don’t think we’re going to break up,” Quinn argued, weakly at best. 

Evie let out a breath, standing up to set her plate in the sink. She gave Niall a reassuring pat on the shoulder and made her exit. 

“That’s not convincing,” Niall crossed his arms over his chest, staring at her from across the table. 

“I don’t want to breakup,” Quinn sighed. “But there’s always that small chance that we live together and my habits become annoying and you turn out to absolutely hate me?” 

“What annoying habits?” Niall asked, almost accusing. “We’ve spent days on end together.”

“What about when I leave my dishes around the place?” Quinn asked. “Since you compulsively clean yours. I’m not like that.”

“I mean I already clean up after you now,” Niall chuckled. “And it’s nothing a little compromising can’t fix.”

Quinn was still unconvinced, eyes trained on the empty plate in front of her. She knew the silence between them could do more damage than good. Her mouth was sealed shut. 

Niall let out a sigh, shifting in his seat. “I don’t want to get upset. I can’t help but think if you really want to make something work you will. And you won’t let silly things like dishes get in the way.”

“They’re not silly,” Quinn mumbled. 

“They’re not,” Niall agreed. “If it’s what you’re worried about then it’s not silly. But what’s silly is getting all worked up about something that Evie said. I didn’t ask you to move in with me. Maybe I don’t want you to,” he shrugged. 

Quinn wasn’t sure whether to laugh or let the comment fuel the fire inside of her. But Niall was smiling in the bantery way he always did. Quinn relaxed a bit against her chair. “You don’t want to live with me?” 

Niall shrugged, hands clasping together on the table. “You’re quite messy. Said it yourself.”

“This isn’t going to work,” Quinn laughed, standing up. “Reverse logic or whatever you want to call it. Not going to work.” 

“I’m not using reverse logic,” Niall laughed, standing up, collecting their plates from the table. Quinn had consequently forgotten about them, already ready to go into her bedroom. “And don’t worry I’ll clean up like I always do.” 

“Fuck off,” Quinn laughed, taking the plates from him. “This is my kitchen. I’ll clean up.” 

Niall leaned against the counter beside her. “Shit if you keep this attitude up maybe I’ll reconsider wanting to move in with you.” 

Quinn shook her head, forcefully cleaning the dishes in the sink. It was amusing for Niall to watch. The way he could get under her skin. Sometimes she hated it. 

“Well guess what,” Quinn huffed. “You’re no perfect roommate.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall asked.

“Your laundry!” Quinn exclaimed, glancing over at him. “For someone who likes things neat and clean how the hell do you just let it pile up? To the point where we have to share a fucking towel!” She yelled. “Because there’s none clean.”

It made Niall laugh. “Those are all valid points and I respect them. I do admit I let my laundry pile up. I forget about it. When we move in together I’ll make sure that there are enough clean towels.” 

“And you know what,” she added. “Sometimes I forget to shower. My running record is four days. How does that make you feel?” 

“It makes me feel...” he trailed off shrugging his shoulders. “I’d eat four day old cunt. I don’t fucking care.”

Quinn about burst, eyes narrowing at him. She kind of wanted to push him. Maybe rough him up. “I can’t believe you just said that,” she responded, voice a bit sharp. 

“It’s the truth,” Niall laughed. “And an attest to how much I love ya.” 

Quinn rolled her eyes, setting the clean plates in the drying rack. “I’m not cooking every night.” 

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Niall answered. “Just like you wouldn’t expect me to do laundry every day. Or every week for that matter.”

“And I need my fucking space,” Quinn added, shooting him a look. 

“Oh believe me I know,” Niall laughed, eyebrows raising. “Shall I bring up that momentous week we spent together when on Sunday you left slamming the door because I sighed.”

“I apologized for that,” Quinn gritted out. “I was on my period and you said you understood.” 

“I do,” Niall chuckled. “I understand that you need your space. But you don’t have to run off in a fit.” 

“It wasn’t a fit,” Quinn sighed, rubbing her forehead. 

“Well whatever you want to call it,” Niall muttered. “I respect it. And I don’t have a doubt in my mind. We can do it.” 

“Well I don’t know how to tell you this,” Quinn turned to look at him. “I hate your flat.” 

“You hate-“ Niall cut off with a deep sigh. “Quinn if you’re going to make me jump through hoops I swear-“

“I’m not making you jump through hoops,” Quinn laughed. “I hate it. It’s a bachelor pad and last time I checked you’re not a bachelor.”

“What about it is bachelor like?” He asked, almost offended. 

“First of all,” Quinn began slowly. “The mirrors on the ceiling? I hate them. They startle me. And your bathroom? There’s not even a tub? Just a giant ass shower that was purely made for bachelor shower sex. I’m sorry but don’t you think it’s time to explore monogamous bathtub sex?” 

“There isn’t even a bathtub here,” Niall laughed, rubbing his head. 

“Because this is the cheapest apartment I could afford,” Quinn laughed. 

“Fine,” Niall sighed. “We can look for another flat.” 

And thus began the house hunting. Quinn wasn’t sure at what point during that night they wound up agreeing to live together. It might have been somewhere around the time that Niall told Quinn that he hated it when she wore socks to bed. And then Quinn told him she hated when he tossed her underwear around during sex like they were his to throw. 

The night did end in what one could only describe as an ode to her bed which would probably be left behind and Quinn would miss it dearly even if it did squeak in the most awful ways. 

They found themselves at a a townhouse not three blocks away that had a living room smaller than Quinn’s old bedroom. The bathroom had a magnificent looking bathtub and there were no mirrors on the ceiling. 

Quinn appreciated that it was two stories and two bedrooms. The kitchen was bigger than her old one and so was the bathroom. Niall found himself imagining a life with Quinn there. 

The lease was signed within the week and Quinn almost couldn’t believe she’d fallen for it. As she packed her room up, Quinn felt like accusing him. 

“This is all his fault,” Quinn told Evie. “God he tricked me? I had the wool pulled right over my eyes.” 

Evie laughed, shaking her head. “You’re so full of it. You’re going to have so much fun living with him. And I’m going to stay here so you don’t have to mourn the loss of this place like Niall is.”

Quinn sighed. Evie was right. She always was. As much as she hated to admit it, Quinn was excited about the new chapter of her life. It was momentous for many reasons. The biggest was because she couldn’t have imagined herself winding up here. She was in love with a boy. And she was moving in with that boy. 

“This is what you call character development,” Quinn murmured as she looked at her room packed up in boxes.  

“It is,” Evie agreed, nodding her head. “I kind of miss one night stand Quinn. She was fun. And hot.” 

“I’m still fun and hot,” Quinn laughed, shoving her gently. “I just get to be fun and hot with one man now. How boring?” 

“I think you’ll find ways to spice it up,” Evie assured her, patting her on the bum as she walked out. “I uh found your little black box under the bed. That was quite an interesting find.” 

Quinn wrinkled her nose, choosing not to incriminate herself any further. She crossed her arms over her chest, taking in the moment before her. 

Niall arrived soon after, ready to pack her things into the car. Quinn found herself leaving a lot behind for Evie. It was out of love, of course. And maybe she wanted new things with Niall. New things that didn’t remind her of the life she had before him.

Pulling up to their new flat had Quinn feeling a new type of excitement bubbling in her belly. It was how she knew it was the right choice. 

They unpacked very slowly with a bottle of wine between them. Niall found it hard to keep his hands off of her. Quinn found it to be amusing. When she’d fill a cupboard up or fill her dresser, he’d be two steps behind her planting a fat kiss on her lips with entirely too much tongue. 

Quinn laughed, saying, “give me some fucking space.”

Niall pulled her in by her waist, kissing down her neck. “That’s impossible. I’m exhausted and you look hot as fuck moving your shit in.” 

“Such eloquent words,” Quinn mused, tilting her head to the side. 

“Now what was that you said a few weeks ago?” He murmured between kisses. “Monogamous bathtub sex. I think I’m ready to explore.”

Quinn breathed out a laugh, nodding her head. “How could I possibly resist?” 

Niall pressed a sloppy kiss to her neck. “I’ll start the bath.”

“I’ll make the bed,” Quinn told him, walking toward the boxes stacked in the corner. 

“Well now I’m confused are we having bathtub sex or not?” Niall asked, stopping in the doorway. 

“Well now I’m confused,” Quinn mumbled, looking over her shoulder at him. “Are you not going to fuck me in our new bed when we get out? The tub is just foreplay. If I have to explain that to you I might consider getting out of this lease before it’s too late.”

“Oh fuck off,” Niall laughed, walking out the door. “And the answer is yes. I am fucking you. Extra hard because apparently you’ve got a smart mouth tonight.”

“That’s all I want,” Quinn laughed, opening a box of the bedding from her place. 

While Niall started the bath, Quinn put the sheets and duvet onto the bed. Their bed was a bit bare, Quinn knew she had lots to do with the entire place. Just like her old place, this would feel like a home. 

Niall emerged from the bathroom a moment later, an almost goofy smile on his face. Quinn felt herself smile from across the room. She shook her head, tossing the final pillow onto the bed. 

Niall pulled Quinn into the bathroom, his mouth on her neck. She was astounded to see Niall this way. Commitment apparently turned him on. Quinn wasn’t complaining, not with his hands roaming her body the way they were. 

”Cant believe we live together,” Niall breathed out, lips brushing against hers. 

“Yeah we’re like roommates,” Quinn teased, grinning at him. 

“Fuck off with that roommate shit,” Niall grunted, gripping her ass. “We’re lovers, Quinnie.”

“My mistake,” Quinn muttered, letting him kiss her soundly on the lips. Though any other time, the word lover would set Quinn off. This time it was everything she’s ever wanted. 

///

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#Niall Horan #Niall Horan au #lover au #Niall Horan fic #Niall Horan fanfic #Niall Horan chaptered fic #nh au #niall fic #niall au #niall fanfic #one direction #niall chaptered fic

[septiembrre]

"you're the worst" and "you're my favorite"! :)

I had a writing block forever and this was just supposed to be 300-400 words of drabble and then it spiraled a little out of hand… 

-

It’s been a few hours since Rio brought her to this house. The house itself is a charming, simply furnished. In another life, she would have loved to call it home. It sits on a quiet street, in a quiet neighborhood, and the night is peaceful. But, she’s restless.  

She can’t sleep, she can’t eat, so she’s cleaning.

The afternoon was a blur. Rio had met Beth at the Paper Porcupine alone, and then Mick called. Suddenly, Rio was shuffling her into his ridiculous car, sharing the most minimal details - FBI, at the bar.  The drive was tense, silent, stressed and it gave Beth a half an hour to bitterly contemplate where they were headed. To her surprise, instead of a derelict motel or empty loft, Rio had spirited them away to a modest neighborhood. There were no kids riding about on bicycles like her neighborhood, no middle-aged parents out on a run, but a lot of older folks and well-loved garden beds. Rio pulled up to a quaint green house, unlocked the front door with a key he proffered from his glove compartment. And then he settled in with her.

Beth called all the people she needed to call, fiddling with her phone on the couch. Hours passed - Rio had squirreled himself away in one of the bedrooms - and night crept in. The living room is decorated sparsely but closer to her brand of comfort. The house doesn’t really feel like Rio. At least, not in the way the loft felt like a pandora’s box of his personality all those months ago. The couch she’s resting on is so soft and she would curl up here if her mind wasn’t racing, swirling around the indications of the FBI showing up again at Rio’s business, swirling around what it could mean for her cash.

Beth takes a breath.

She starts to look around. She begins by taking inventory of the fridge - empty except for moldy cheese and almond milk that smelled okay, some condiments. She pops open the freezer and found what will be their next meal - veggie burgers, frozen bread, and peas. She thinks about turning on the stove - but the top is a little greasy and she’s not really hungry. Mostly, Beth’s annoyed at the closed door and lack of updates, but she knows she should wait for him. She makes some coffee instead.

The journey of discovery continues, and she drifts through this space that seems to sometimes be Rio’s. Beth rummages through minimally stocked cabinets, finds some mezcal, gin, and blessedly bourbon. She uses the bourbon to top off her coffee.

Beth opens what looks like a pantry but turns out to be fully-stocked with cleaning supplies - detergent, disinfectants, bleach, vinegar, gloves, masks, the works. Despite the shittiness of this day, she laughs. What a weirdo. Such a neat freak. Of course, he has a stockpile comparable to hers, a mother to four children.  

She turns her attention to the empty bedroom. She finds some basic t-shirts and sweatpants sized for Rio and changes. She’s not sure how much to trust the house, it seems clean but a musty smell clings to the rooms. So she strips off the sheets from the bed and runs the wash. She sweeps. She wipes down the stove, then moves the laundry to the dryer. Rio stays holed up in the other bedroom and every now and then she can hear him talking on the phone. Beth takes a deep breath, pins up her hair, retrieves some supplies from the pantry and continues on to the bathroom. She sprays down the surfaces.

And she’s just over it. It was her night to make dinner and Dean all but hung up on her earlier when she called to explain. She was supposed to make another batch of cash with Ruby and Annie, and after her call, they’re scared and holed up in their homes, too. And, now they’re behind schedule. And, now - the fucking FBI? Beth rubs vigorously at a spot on the shower wall. She had finally hit her stride with Rio. After one particularly ugly night where they screamed themselves hoarse at the store, they were okay.  They still don’t broach much talk about before - but they talk about work, they talk about now - and sometimes things between them feel good. But, now her mind leaps and somersaults and she thinks Jim Turner could be waiting for her around a corner of this house, freshly resurrected from the dead and ready to pull them into another deadly triangle.

She hears the bedroom door open, and Rio appears. He leans against the frame of the bathroom, he’s change into sweatpants, too.

“It’s all clean, mama.”

She’s really very tired. Her eyes prick.

“It’s grimy.” Her voice is hoarser than she expects when she speaks.

He purses his lips and then ducks out of the doorway. And fine. She returns to scrubbing any imaginable yuck out of the shower wall. A minute later, she hears him return. She turns to find him tapping on his phone, and music fills the room. She recognizes Rosalía from one of Annie’s money-making playlists - a dive into international lady musicians. He notices her noticing and quirks his brow at her. She holds out her hand and once he begrudgingly hands over the phone, she queues up Milionària.  Rio chuckles, pulls on long rubber gloves, and steps into the shower with her. He’s pulled a second brush out from the pantry stock, and he reaches over her head to help her with the tall spots. She feels a little lightheaded and she’s not sure if it’s all the cleaning chemicals or if it’s that her nose can still zero in on Rio’s cologne.  

Together, moving along to the music, they make quick work of the bathroom. Beth gets the linens out of the dryer. Rio helps her with the sheets.

Thoughts creep up reminding her of the state of her sheets after that afternoon in her bedroom, and how she tended that bed alone afterward.  They’re both tired, and they’re not who they used to be, yet this moment still has that familiar weight, that current. She savors the lines of him out of the corner of her eye and catches him peeking at her, too. She wonders idly where he’s going to sleep.

They finish with the bed. Rio grins at her. Despite everything, she braces herself for an innuendo she knows is at the tip of his tongue. “Dinner?”

It makes Beth laugh. “It’s one a.m.”

Naturally, it’s this moment when her stomach growls.

Rio works on the food. She brings out the mezcal and bourbon she found earlier and pours them drinks, grabs plates. He catches her up on details from his calls with Mick. The FBI lingered outside the bar for some time, and ultimately it’s better that they spend the night in the safe house, just to be sure. They plan for him to drop her off downtown tomorrow afternoon and have Annie get her the rest of the way home.

They make their way through Rio’s playlist, drink more alcohol. Sometime over the course of Rio toasting their bread, and putting together her veggie burger, she relaxes. After they finish their dinner, they curl up on the couch in their mirrored outfits. Next to each other, facing each other, but the couch is not that big anyway.

Beth asks him about the house.

He doesn’t reveal much as usual, but he comes here sometimes, yeah? When shit hits the fan. It makes her mind spin and she wonders. “Like what kind of shit?”

“Hm?”

“Well, your pantry is fully stocked with cleaning supplies.”

He smiles - it’s sharkish.

Beth rolls her eyes. “I know you think you’re so cool.” He scoffs, but under his faux-affrontedness, she can see his glee. He loves when she calls him out. “All Tony Montana or Don Corleone.” She blinks and can’t believe she can seriously say that to someone. “But, honestly, you have the cleaning supplies of a suburban mom of four. We’re not that different.”

He’s literally snickering into his hand and she just cannot with him. Beth insists, “It’s true!”

Rio looks down the line of his nose at her. His gaze is sly. “You’re the worst, ma.”

Now she’s laughing. “That’s okay. I can be your worst.” She blames it on the warm, giddiness of being a little buzzed when she gives him a smile, impish. “You’re my worst, too.”

His eyebrows quirk up towards his hairline. He eyes her body from top to bottom and back again and his mouth does that thing she hates and loves where it purses - too attractively - at one side and he’s as playful as ever before. What an arrogant shit, she thinks. Something in her body has too much feeling. The tell-tale heat curls in her chest, and she knows she’s wet. He bites his bottom lip. Her thighs clench and she’s annoyed.

“I’m definitely your best.”

Beth squawks. Blood rushes through her ears, rising up from her chest to blot her cheeks. She rears back, away from him.  “I- You- I’m-” She closes her gaping mouth and eyes him primly. “ Then, I’m definitely not your worst.”

He grins, conceding maybe.

Beth rocks her jaw and edges closer. Their chests don’t meet, but she can feel the warmth emanating from him.

She weighs her options.

Beth doesn’t break his gaze until she’s close enough that her lips graze his collarbone. She noses at the top of his shirt. She feels sexy and maybe it’s too much, but she takes the top button between her teeth and tugs.

Her gaze darts back up at his face. His mouth is parted and she feels that stupid, perfect thrill. Beth remembers how easy it was to enthrall him - too easy. She had examined it in the middle of her nights months ago and then buried it deep inside. She had convinced herself that it had been a trick of her imagination gone wild with the headiness of watching him in that dirty mirror, of finally tracing his skin in the sunlight streaming through her windows. But, she has done it again. Despite everything suspended between them, she still manages it.

Beth knows what’s she’s doing when she bites her lip and leans her face close to his. His gaze is glued to her mouth.

She tries again, “I’m your worst?”

He swallows, and maybe he’s a little wrecked, too. His fingertips brush the cleft of her chin. “You’re my favorite.”

Beth grins, widely, victorious. She nudges her nose against his and whispers, “Want to take a shower with me?”

#beth x rio #my writing #my fic #i need to consolidate my tags #brio #good girls fic

[ayatosmlktea]

I saw your post about Crazy Levi can I make a request on when reader and Levi has been dating for more than 3 years but one day they get into a horrible car crash and Levi smashed his head making him bipolar and reader did everything in their power to help him but nothing was working and he had to go to a mental hospital. Angst plz 😂😓

TW: Self-Harm, Mentions of Suicide, Depression, Mania, Bipolar disorder. Please read at your own risk.

𝑵𝒐 𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝑬𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈

The accident had changed their lives completely, it just had to happen on one of their worst days. They had been so busy yelling at each other, fighting over something that was now so stupid and insignificant that Y/N hadn’t been focused enough to avoid the oncoming collision due to another driver running a red light. The crash hadn’t really been her fault, but her attention had been so focused on proving Levi wrong that she felt like everything that happened after was because of her petty tantrum. It was the universe’s way of saying that her habit of fighting over nothing was going to come back around to wreak havoc and destruction in its wake.

Y/N had managed to walk away with a minor concussion and a few broken bones but Levi had been less lucky. It had been three weeks since their accident and he still hadn’t woken up. She had cried until all that her body could do was feel like it was collapsing in on itself. Her eyes were constantly bloodshot and to anyone she might have seemed high, but she was preparing for the day the doctors would tell her that Levi would never walk up again. She never left his bedside unless absolutely necessary and even then the nurses would have to drag her out of his room.

“I’ve never prayed in my life and I must seem like the biggest hypocrite ever but if there’s anyone up there listening…please just give him back to me. I swear I’ll never start stupid arguments again just let him wake up” She had lost count of how many nights she’d spent pleading to whatever omnipotent being was listening to her desperate cries for help. All she wanted was to see his beautiful stormy eyes open again so she could apologize and beg for his forgiveness.

Her prayers were answered shortly after, it was a miracle! That’s what the doctors had said, and Y/N would take it. Whatever conditions were attached to him waking up didn’t matter, Levi was finally back.

“There’s been significant damage to his frontal lobe. You might start noticing some changes in his personality, if it gets to a point where he becomes a danger to himself or you give this number a call.” Levi’s primary doctor handed her a small black business card. Sina Institute for Mental Health. The words settled in her stomach uncomfortably. She really wanted to believe that Levi wouldn’t change, maybe with time he’d recover from the trauma. Maybe the doctors were over-exaggerating, Levi was resilient he’d pull through!

               ____________________________________________

“Welcome home Y/N! I missed you so much, you’re not going to leave me are you?” The sing-songy voice that greeted her as she walked through the front door didn’t make her feel welcome at all. Levi’s recovery was going worse than she had ever expected. The man living with her was not someone she recognized at all anymore. She never knew which Levi she was going to come home to and it was starting to make her feel anxious as soon as she started her trek home. On top of their already pricy rent and other costs their expenses had quickly skyrocketed due to their medical bills and Levi’s medication. Levi was on sick leave from his job, still not at a satisfactory level of physical or mental well being to return to work fulltime meaning that Y/N was shouldering the majority of their bills.

“I’m not going to leave you, you know I’m doing overtime at work. I called you earlier to let you know I’d be home late.” Putting her bag on the counter she walked over to the fridge to pour herself a giant glass of wine.

“I was thinking that our place could use some new furniture don’t you think? So I ordered a bunch of stuff online! Isn’t that great?” Y/N had to fight the urge to vomit while her fingers gripped the neck of her glass tighter. The stress of having to juggle all of their bills was already stressing her out to the point of not being able to sleep at night and now Levi’s habit of impulsively maxing out their credit cards was becoming too much.

“Levi we talked about this, you’re not supposed to use the credit cards unless it’s an emergency” Y/N couldn’t hold back the long sigh that left her lips, everything was just becoming so pointless.

“I know but I was cleaning before and it just didn’t feel right.”

“What didn’t feel right?” She asks not really wanting to know the answer.

“I don’t know! I just feel like something big is going to happen soon and we need to clean this dump up” His cheerful words clawed at her gut, Levi was never one to spend money recklessly. While she wasn’t as much of a neat freak as he was; she still tried her best to keep their shared space as clean as possible knowing that his mania was easily triggered by the slightest mess.

“Did you take your medication today?”

“I don’t need them! I feel better, honestly!” Her eyes began to burn with tears of helplessness. She had thought she could help him work through the mess his head was in. Researching for hours on the internet for ways to make it easier on adjusting him to being on his own without throwing himself into a depressive fit.

She’d anonymously called the number the doctor had given her asking for possible diagnosis based on the symptoms Levi displayed within the past three months. While they weren’t able to give her an accurate diagnosis without actually talking to Levi they’d been fairly sure his symptoms were similar to that of Bipolar disorder.

Y/N didn’t want to accept it at first, the Levi she had fallen in love with was stubborn and strong-willed. If anything, he was the one who had held her together. He was always rational and now the tables had been turned, Levi was not Levi. His manic episodes made him jittery and impulsive. His depressive episodes had her on edge constantly, normally she could talk him down from doing something irreversible but it seemed like their luck had finally run out.

                 ____________________________________________

Y/N had come home later than she had intended, it was well past midnight and she knew Levi was going to be up waiting for her to come back. She had tried calling his phone but he wasn’t picking up. She bit her lip nervously, it was never a good thing when he didn’t answer his phone. Her hands were shaking with anxiety when she unlocked the door. The apartment was dark and quiet yet something lurking in the darkness was screaming at her to turn away and walk away. Flicking the lights on the sight of drops of blood trailing from the kitchen into the hallway had the hairs on the back of her neck standing.

“Levi!” She called out not bothering to remove her shoes as she followed the trail leading to their bedroom. Holding her breath she pushed open the door that was already ajar. Levi sat on the edge of their bed, his face covered with his hands and his shoulders trembling slightly.

“Levi?” Cautiously she approached him, her fight or flight response ringing like a siren in her ear to get out. His head shot up at the sound of her frightened voice, eyes red and wet with tears.

“You promised!” His tone was accusing and all too loud for her to feel remotely safe.

“I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to get home so late! Did you hurt yourself?” Trying to stay calm enough to let him allow her to get close to him was proving to be more difficult as each second ticked by.

“I don’t want to live if you’re going to leave me! Tell me you aren’t going to leave me!” The crimson stains on his shirt and their bedsheets had Y/N on the verge of a panic attack. She couldn’t help him on her own anymore.

“I’m not going to leave you. Please let me help you, you’re bleeding everywhere!” Hysteria was creeping into her throat, every minute that she watched the shell of the man she used to know made her heart pound uncomfortably in her chest.

“I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone’s help! You think I don’t see the way you look at me? Like I’m some kind of monster? Like a fucking freak!” Tears streamed down her cheeks as he began screaming at her.

“I don’t think you’re a monster” she choked out in between sobs trying to catch her breath. Her hands reached out to him hoping that physical affection would help calm him down. Instead Levi violently shoved her out of his way to lock himself in the bathroom.

“Levi let me help you please!” She shouted banging her fists against the door uncaring of how loud she was being. Her head started to feel light headed as she began to hyperventilate. Through blurry eyes and with shaking fingers she called for an ambulance.

                 ____________________________________________

Levi had screamed that he hated her several times that night before the paramedics had given him a sedative. His voice infiltrated her dreams, every night she’d wake up to the image of his blood on her hands. It had been a few weeks since she’d admitted him to the psych ward, as much as she loved him she couldn’t bring herself to face him. Y/N was consumed by guilt, she’d sit in her car for hours outside the institute before going back home. There wasn’t anything she could say that would make up for her failed attempts at helping him. She had promised Levi that she wouldn’t leave him but it seemed like sometimes promises had to be broken.

Masterlist

#Levi x reader #Levi Ackerman x reader #insane levi #attack on titan x reader #trigger warning #self-harm #depression #suicide #bipolar #mania #blood #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin blog #shingeki no kyoujin levi #attack on titan #attack on titan blog #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #Levi imagines #aot imagines #snk imagines #angst #modern Levi au #aot modern au #captain Levi x reader #captain Levi ackerman

[shannygoatgruff]

My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter XIII

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk

Rating: MA+18

Overall Warning:  Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.  

Chapter Warning: Description of previous assault.

Summary: Mama always said to be their brothers’ keeper. Now there is absolutely nothing these two won’t do for each other.  Boys will be boys…

Chapter XIII

I've been so busy the last couple of days that I haven't been home much. Judging from the dishes in the sink, I'd say that Ivar hasn't been here either. He's notoriously neat. Like, nothing is ever out of place, neat. I'm not really a slob, but I'm nowhere as neat as he is. He never really complains about the small messes I leave around the house, well, except for my piss in the bathroom, he doesn't. His neat thing is just one of his little idiosyncrasies that I live with. God knows he puts up with enough of mine.

I don't know why these few dishes in the sink are bothering me so damn much.  Had I been the one home for a few days, there probably wouldn’t be a clean dish left in the house.  But, Ivar’s only left a bowl, a fork, and a glass and for some reason, it's driving me crazy. Even if he just left it – it’s just not like him.  He always cleans up the messes. 

Maybe I'm foreshadowing, but it just feels like things are changing.

I had this other shrink tell me that I live in a transferred state. That I'm always transferring the way I feel onto other people. Yeah…she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, either. If what she said was true, then right now, I should be projecting thoughts around this house that would have me as happy as a pig in shit. 

I want to find Ivar and tell him my good news.  I want him to know how happy I am.  But, if he knew that I just spent the last three days at Thora's dorm looking at bridal magazines, hearing her childish fantasies about this big, fairy tale wedding, complete with a castle and a mote, he'd laugh his ass off. And not in a good way.

In all honesty, I can't help but laugh myself when I think about the way her face lit up when she told me she thought I would look good in a tunic and tights and that she wanted the groomsmen to raise swords for us to walk under.  I wanted to ask her, what groomsmen? I didn’t want to burst her bubble, so I kept my mouth shut, but there won’t be any motes or castles and their damn sure won’t be any groomsmen. 

Besides Ivar, I don't have anybody to invite. Well, maybe Ubbe, but fuck, does he have to know I’m getting married? If he found out, he’d probably tell my other brothers Bjorn and Sigurd and I haven’t seen or heard from them in years. 

Bjorn and I don’t talk anymore and I haven’t seen Siggy since he and Ivar got in that big fight when they were teenagers and I took Ivar’s side.  Our family has never been that close.

I wonder if Uncle Rollo would come?  If Ivar doesn’t already think I’m crazy for getting married, he will if he ever found out I was thinking about Rollo.  He’s liable to have me committed.  I think it would be nice to have some representation from my dad’s side of the family there, but Ivar would fucking flip.  If I even thought about inviting Rollo, I better decide now who would I rather have there, my brother or my uncle.  

Oh well, I guess if Ivar doesn't completely stop talking to me over this little stunt, he’s going to be looking pretty fucking stupid holding a sword by himself.

Instead of thinking about how pathetic my side of the church is going to be, I might as well see what that bitch from the news is up to.  The only time I get to watch it now is when Ivar isn’t around. He would have a fucking fit if he knew that’s what I was putting on. He’s been extremely overprotective lately.  

I would have thought after our night with Bishop and Aud that he would relax a little. He saw how much I needed that and how much they helped me in the confidence department, but he’s still been treating me like a porcelain doll.  

He still won’t let me watch the news.  He freaked the fuck out when I told him I was taking Thora out to dinner and went ballistic when I told him I was staying the night at her place.  Now that he hasn’t seen me in a few days, I don’t have a clue what kind of mood he’s going to be in.  He keeps saying something about being worried that I’m not ready to be social yet – that he’s afraid I’m going to have another blackout. I haven’t blacked out in over a week, but he still doesn’t want me out of his sight. I swear it’s more to it than that, only he won’t be straight with me and tell me what it is.    

Foreshadowing my ass. Things are definitely changing.

Wait...where's that Judith Wessex news bitch? I’ve developed a relationship with that fucking reporter that likes to dump on us. I know it seems crazy, but I feel like if I can just keep my eye on her, hear firsthand what lies she's spreading, that I have some control over the situation.  Knowing what she knows about us has been almost settling for me, because I know I’m still one step ahead of her nosy ass. But, she's not on today. Where the fuck is she? Is she combing the streets making up more lies? Is she retracing our steps and writing a story to put our entire lives on display for the public? 

Little does she know, I've stopped…so fuck you, bitch!  Ha! I can't wait to see her pinched fucking face when she has nothing else to lie about. Fucking whore. I hate that bitch more when she's not on TV then when she is. And the fact that I don't know where she is making me uncomfortable.

Turning my head toward the sound of the kitchen, I see Ivar emerging from the basement stairs. "Hey there. Long time, no see." He smiles brightly as he walks toward me and kisses me on the head. "How are you feeling?"

I never take my eyes off of him as he rounds the couch to sit beside me. "Good. Tired, but good." He looks genuinely happy to see me. I feel myself smile as I reach across the couch to wipe away a smudge of dirt from his cheek. "What have you been into?"

He moves his head away from my hand before capturing it in his own. "You know... this and that. Gotta new project I'm working on." When Ivar's being vague, I tend not to question why. He never gets himself into more than he can handle. We share our lives, but how we share is completely different. I am an open book to him, mainly because I can't seem to control my emotions. He shares with me by being supportive. It's not that I don't care what he's got going on; it's just, Ivar doesn't need help. He tells me what I need to know and works the rest out on his own. "How's the pixie?"

There it is, the Thora sarcasm. I knew it was going to happen, I just didn’t think it would happen two minutes into our conversation. I wanted to sit here and shoot the shit with him for a little while, talk about regular shit before the conversation drifted over to her.  But, he already brought her up.  It’s like he knows that she’s on my mind or that I have something that I need to talk to him about.  

He's my everything - I don't keep secrets from him and sure as fuck can't lie to him. But on the same token, I don't ever want to hurt him. What if he takes this news as a betrayal?  "Good." That's not what I wanted to say, but it's all that will come out my mouth at the moment. 

"Just good? What? No animated hearts floating above your head when you talk about her? Where are the sparkles and glittery fairy dust? She's losing her touch, Hvitserk." He gives me this smile and rolls his eyes in annoyance.  God, I hate this. He must sense my mood changing because he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my open palm. "Aww, I’m sorry, baby. I’m just joking."

I haven't been this afraid to tell him something since the time I told him about my hobby.  That was the single biggest leap of faith I have ever taken with anyone in my life.  Telling him about Thora is nowhere near the same magnitude, but fuck if I’m not just as afraid.

For some reason, it had always been easiest to talk to Ivar and he is my youngest brother. But that night, when I came back to our parents’ house, I just couldn’t go back to my place and be alone. I went to his room to sleep on his floor.  Maybe it was because he was the only one of my brothers that was home at the time or maybe because we always seemed to have this connection. Whatever it was, it just felt safe to be there with him. He didn't judge me or ask me a lot of questions. He didn’t tell me to go to my old room or get the fuck out of his.  He just moved over in his bed and patted the space next to him – he lifted his covers for me to crawl in next to him, so I did.  I don’t think either of us knew why.  I just know that I needed someone and he knew that I was in a funk that I couldn’t get out of and he never made fun of me for it.

Those first few nights, he would lay next to me and stroke my hair silently, so lovingly and just let me cry without prying. I don't know what made me tell him. I guess I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Maybe it was knowing that his blue eyes were desperately searching for what was making me so unhappy, or maybe it was the soothing sound of his breathing? Whatever it was, I was scared but I trusted him. 

I swear I felt then just like I feel right now.

It just didn't seem that hard then. I just knew that I had to tell somebody before my secret-self ate me alive. Sweaty palms and a heartbeat that I couldn't control couldn’t stop me from divulging. Someone had to see the real me before I completely disappeared. So I told him. I told him about the hunger and how crazy it made me feel. I told him how I like to hurt them, restrain them, feel them fight against me. I tried to explain the tears and how they excited me. The punching and scratching, biting, and resisting… the guilt, the pain, the endless crying, and apologizing over them as they lay bloody and unconscious. I never meant to hurt any of them I just needed them to make me feel normal again. And it had worked for a while.

Until her…

She was supposed to be like the rest of them, but no matter what I did, it wasn't enough. She loved it more than I did. I wasn't strong enough to break her and when I stopped, she begged for more. She needed it more than me. She was sick, all the things she asked me to do. And what was sicker was I couldn't do them. But she finally stopped asking when I broke the bottle and used it to please her. 

I don't know why I did it. Nothing I was doing on my own would hurt her enough. I didn't think it would kill her. But there was so much blood. I mutilated her to settle something in me.

He listened silently as I recounted how I lost control and killed her so that I didn't have to hear her call me a failure. He understood that that's what led me back home that night and why I ended up on his floor.  He knew that the one thing I had to make me feel powerful she had taken away from me so I ended her life and that I would rather kill myself than to live knowing that I was that weak. I still can't believe I told him that. I have never told anyone that much about myself.

I just knew that Ivar would tell me to get the hell out of the room, or that we weren’t brothers anymore. But he didn't. Instead, he held me tight and soothed my tears. He told me he understood. Then he told me about the things that haunt him.

I felt like we connected when he explained the way the screams help him sleep at night. I understood what he meant by the smell of fear being sweeter than any perfume. It felt like he was reading my diary. I got how his hunger was so unbearable that he felt like he was losing his mind. I knew the feeling of ants crawling in my blood; it was just like that for him.

I had finally found someone that understood me. I had no idea that my baby brother felt so many of the same feelings that I did.  The one person in the world that wouldn’t think I was a freak had been in my life all of this time. My insecurities, my awkwardness, my past time…nothing seemed to deter him from being there for me. If anything, I think it brought us closer.

Ivar took me under his wing and taught me how to take pride and pleasure in what it is that we do. He showed me how to make what is mine into an art form. He helped me learn to accept true love and know that I am worthy of it…even if I don't have my shit together. He proved to me time and time again that nothing I do is enough to make him leave me.

So why the fuck am I petrified to tell him about Thora?

Taking a deep breath and fix my eyes on the couch cushion between us. "I'm getting married." Slowly my eyes raise to meet his face and I blink back the sheer terror that runs through me. If I could just read his expression I would feel more at ease. But for now, his expression is blank. "I–I proposed to her. S-She said yes." I try to sound relieved but I know it comes across as uncertain. I'm not unsure about Thora, I'm unsure about his silence.

Nothing. He says absolutely nothing. He's completely still and only his sporadic blinking lets me know that he's still paying attention. He never lets my hand go nor does he increase his grip to show his anger. Sometimes I hate how aloof he can be.

"Ivar. This is what I want. I want a normal life. This thing that we do isn’t normal. I use to think it was, but it's not.” I take a deep breath, “The papers are full of a hundred stories of other people that do what we do, but most of them can control it better than we can.  They don’t go around partying as hard or as often.  We’re losing control, man." I stand from the couch and start to pace in front of the television. His eyes follow me back and forth, but the look on his face never changes. "We can't do this forever. I just want a chance, like Mother and Father had.  Okay?" I don't know why I'm crying. He hasn't said anything, but his silence is even worse than him yelling. I just want him to talk to me. "Say something, please."

He closes his eyes and folds his hands neatly in his lap. It takes a second for him to formulate the words. When he's ready and his eyes open, he turns his body to face me and he cocks his head and fixes me with an eerily calm glare. "What would you like me to say?"

"Something. Anything. Let me know you're okay with it. Tell me you still love me and that you'll never leave me." Ivar's approval means to me than even I understand. But I know he won't approve of this. "Tell me that you're still proud of me."

He shakes his head sadly and his eyes soften. I don't want him to react to my reaction but I know that's what he's doing. Just once, I want Ivar to tell me how he feels without treating me like I may break. "Hvitserk…"

I am going to get married. I have to learn how to stand on my own feet if I'm going to be able to carry Thora for the rest of our lives. I can take it. I can take whatever he says. But he has to know how I feel. "She makes me happy. I love her."

A cool smile spreads across his face before a throaty laugh escapes him. I don't like it when people laugh at me, especially Ivar. "Please, don't laugh at me, Ivar."

"I'm not laughing at you, Serk. I'm laughing at the absurdity of the situation." He stands slowly and runs his fingers through his hair. Even now he's so fluid. Nothing in his body language shows how he feels. But the smooth tone of his voice alerts me that he's less than happy. "I'm not going to give you permission if that's what you're looking for. You think this is what you want, but it's not." He stands in front of me and places a kiss on my forehead. "I've taught you everything you need to know. I have shown you the beauty of who and what you are. But the one thing I can't do is make you accept it. So if that pixie, cunt, bitch is what will keep you entertained for a while, then by all means. And when the feeling overwhelms you and you know what it is that you need, I'll be right here waiting for you."

I would rather him yell at me then to use that disappointed tone of voice. I wish I could take back the last three days and have just kept that damn ring in my pocket. But, I want this. I deserve it. I've been fighting this thing in me since I was fourteen years old. Isn't it time for it to stop controlling me? Isn't it time for me to be happy. "It's not like that, Ivar."

"Then why are you crying, Sweetie?" He leans down to whisper in my ear and I feel my heart breaking at his words. "If you were sure, you would have told me and not felt the need to defend it."

I sniffle back the emotion that's taking over me at the moment. I feel dizzy and nauseous, but I'm not letting that give me an excuse not to deal with the events of my life. I will not blackout. I will deal with discomfort and not second guess my actions.

I am sure. I'm sure that I don't want to lose him but that I want a normal life. "I'm done." My lips move to say the words but no sound comes from my mouth. I want him to understand that I mean it when I say it, but I just haven't found the strength yet.

"Okay." He says it with a smile and I know he doesn't believe me.

"I mean it." I find my voice and raise my eyes to finally meet his. I'm not backing down. Not this time. "I'm not doing it anymore."

With a shrug, Ivar turns away from me and heads towards the stairs. "You say that now. You might even think that you believe it. But you can't escape it."

I watch him walk up the stairs and I find myself at the foot of them, scared to death. "Just don't stop loving me. Please?"

He turns to me and I swear I see tears in his eyes. "I'll never stop loving you, Brother. I just don't support you in this one. You can have all the dreams you want, baby. But you can never stop being who you are."

Ivar's usually right about everything. I just pray to God that he's not about this.

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[timetoresurface]

Like serendipity? (3)

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Fresh out of college, your life is finally going to blossom into something more meaningful than college day drinking and late-night study sessions. Or so you thought. Unlikely events result in you having a big ass crush on your next-door neighbour. Maybe, you weren’t as grown-up as you thought you were.

Y/N x BAEKHYUN

Life after college AU (if that’s a thing)

I’ve finished something, and it's making me feel exceptionally proud of myself. I'm still learning how to end things properly, and how to write the more daring parts (kissing and touching and you know what I mean, I won't draw you a picture) as I just semi self-taught myself to write dialogues, I will also learn how to correctly write smut. Next thing on my to-do list, I promise. 

first part / second part

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Sixth act: and now we’re not making sense anymore.

“So, how was the walk back with Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked you during lunchtime. You both decided to leave the office for an hour to reflect, and have a quick meal at your favourite fast-food restaurant.

“It was weird.” You confessed, and he flashed you a look of sympathy. You avoided his stare and simply waited in line.

“Taeyong and Baekhyun have a long history.” He finally said, you just shrugged your shoulders. “But he barely paid any attention to her last night.” He continued, while you ordered your food.

“That’s not how I saw it; he barely talked to any of us.” You said while paying your quick lunch.

“He tried, but she was constantly demanding his attention. She never had to work that hard to get his focus. She used to be his entire world, but lately, it has come crashing down.” He tried to explain.

“What happened between the two of them?” You asked Chanyeol when he ordered and paid for his food. He sends you another sympathetic look before answering.

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to tell you.” He finally confessed, but you weren’t going to let it go.

“I need to know. He kissed me last night, and I’m not ready to be someone’s rebound.” You confessed softly, still not having processed last night yourself. After the long kiss you shared, he left you to go to his apartment. You hadn’t seen him ever since, and for the first time this week, you were glad.

“He did what?” Chanyeol practically shouted through the restaurant, making people look over at what the two of you were doing. You tried to ignore his dramatic behaviour by taking both your orders and walking outside.

“Yes, he did. Right after he told me that she was his ex-girlfriend.” You told Chanyeol while putting some extra fries on your burger, something you learned from a romantic movie you forgot the name of.

“Look, I don’t feel like I’m the person to tell you what happened between the two of them, but I can assure you Baekhyun is over her.” Chanyeol didn’t eat any of his food, while you were stuffing your face. 

“That’s not how it looked last night.” You said with a mouthful of burger and fries. Maybe if you worked on your eating manners, people would like you more.

“He left her to go home with you and kiss you under the starry night.” He reasoned with you, but you weren’t having any of it. You knew Baekhyun was out of your league, and you still fell into this trap of thinking it could work. You have never been fortunate in love, so why did you think this time would be any different. As long as you had Chanyeol and Soya, you were happy enough.

“It was in our shared hallway, but sure under the starry night.” You said before taking a big bite out of your burger that was almost finished. 

“You’re going to get mad at what I’m going to tell you.” Chanyeol started. You motioned for him to continue, but he was still hesitant.

“I promise I won’t get mad. At least not forever, maybe just for an hour or a day, it depends.” You reassured him, and this provided him with enough fuel to start his story.

“Remember your hangover outfit?” He asked you, and you simply nodded not liking where this was going. “I have a picture of it, that you know, but I did show it to my friends the next day. Everyone fell in love with your quirkiness, and we started talking about you, like how I should bang you as your gorgeous and whatever. I told them that would be weird, as I feel like your more my mother than anything else.” He looked over at you trying to measure your angriness, but to his surprise, he was met with a very calm you who simply agreed with his words.

“Baekhyun was there, and for some reason, he asked the most about you. I might say he looked smitten, and as his best friend, I loved seeing him smile again after the Taeyong trauma.” He fiddled nervously with his hands, avoiding your eyes.

“Where are you going with this?” You finally asked him after a minute of silence. He looked up into your eyes, and all you saw was an honest guy with a good heart. You could never be mad at him, even if you wanted to be in this moment.

“The reason I talked about my friends so much, and the reason I invited you over was because of him. I hoped you would get him out of his funk, you know. Befriend him or something more.”

“Did you tell him where I lived?” Panic kicked in when a weird scenario popped in your head. Did Chanyeol really go that far?

“No, that’s a coincidence I had nothing to do with. I was equally surprised as you were.” He quickly assured you, and your shoulders lost the tension you didn’t know you were holding. Controlling your body was something you were not very good at.

“But I think Baekhyun recognized you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have talked to you. He’s a timid boy behind his extravert behaviour, but I think you already know that.” He finally started eating his cold food, signalling his story was at its end, but yours wasn’t.

“I’m not so sure anymore. I thought I got to know him, but it feels like a lie. Like it wasn’t as coincidental as I first thought it was.”

“You don’t live in a romantic movie, Y/N. This is real life, and sometimes real-life needs a little push.” Something in you told you that he was getting frustrated at you. You needed a good girl talk with Soya, as Chanyeol didn’t know you as well as she did. She knew about your stupid heartbreak, and she also knew how you were wired. She even almost always knew what to say to make you feel better.

“Let’s get back to work; we’ve been here too long already.” You told him while getting up and cleaning up your table. Chanyeol nodded and started walking back to your office building with you. There was nothing left to say as you needed some time to process all that had been said.

Y/N: you want to come over tonight?

Soya: I’ll be there at seven

Y/N: bring some wine

Soya: of course

You smiled down at your phone. Soya has always been a good friend, and sometimes you think she deserves a better best friend than you. But still, she did kind of chose you to her adopted family, and you were not going to complain.

You tiptoed inside of your apartment building, scared to run into Baekhyun. You weren’t ready to face him yet. You still needed Soya to make some sense of your confusing thoughts. Once you were inside the safety of your place, you heard a door open in the hallway. You stayed quiet at your closed door, taking a look through your peephole. Baekhyun was pacing in front of your door, as if unsure of what his next move should be. He looked so nervous and innocent; you felt terrible for him. He quickly shook his head and went back inside his apartment. Weird, but you tried not to read too much into it. He probably just wanted to apologize about last night, how he made a mistake and whatever you were not ready to hear.

You cleaned your face, living room and kitchen while waiting for Soya to arrive. She’s kind of neat freak, so you wanted her to be comfortable at your place. You were just finishing off cleaning your bathroom mirror when your doorbell rang. With a final glance at your reflection, you made your way over to the door, ready to let Soya in, but the sight before you surprised you. Soya was not the one standing in front of your door; it was Baekhyun with dark bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in the past 24 hours.

“Hi!” You awkwardly greeted him after a couple of minutes of silence. If you looked closer, you could see the perfected mask of pretence crumbling down and raw emotions taking over. He didn’t look as carefree as he had looked the past week. He wasn’t his vibrant self today; he looked a little lost and insecure. It made you think you had only seen a fraction of what Baekhyun was, and he was showing you another side to him. It would be a lie if you said it didn’t intrigue you. 

There's that static again, that crackling in the air that's always happened whenever the two of you got within a foot of each other. It was enough to make the little baby hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but now it was enough that you're a little afraid for your life, like, if his hand brushes yours, one or both of you will be instantly electrocuted.

He didn’t say anything; he simply looked into your eyes without a single care of the outside world. Some people passed the hallway and flashed a puzzled look at the two of you, but he didn’t seem to notice the struggle going on in your head.

“Uh…” you started.

“I like you.” He blurted out at the same time as you started to speak, which made him blush.

“Uh…” you repeated yourself, unsure of what to do with this information. Your heart skipped a beat, but your head made sure not to believe a single word he said. You couldn’t find your voice. You felt your cheeks flushed hot, and your stomach was heavy. Your heart pounded in your throat, threatening to break out. His eyes wandered around your apartment, avoiding your gaze. Yours stayed locked on him. How many love songs had you heard that said, “He takes my breath away”? Now that line made a lot of sense. 

“I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I wanted to tell you. I can’t keep befriending you, knowing that would be all there is. I’d like to kiss you again like yesterday. I’d like to kiss you every day if you’d let me.” His hands found their way to you; he cupped your face almost lovingly. You really wanted to believe him; he seemed so sincere.

“We barely know each other.” You bluntly stated, not knowing how to deal with your feelings. He looked defeated, his hands dropped down to his sides, and you immediately missed the warmth of his skin on yours. Your words were blunt, but your actions were sweet, as you took his hands into yours. Your fingers softly caressed the back of his hand soothingly, in a supportive manner.

“I had a plan for last night.” He stated softly, looking intently at your intertwined hands.

“So you told me, but you never told me your plan exactly.” You moved your head a little so you could look into his eyes. 

“I wanted to charm you with a drink I made, especially for you, as I know you like to try something new. I know you like people ordering a drink for you, so you can understand how they see you. I wanted to give you a drink that tasted as sweet as you. I planned to walk you back home, slightly buzzed from the drinks, talking about everything and nothing while under the night sky.” He explained his plan to you, and it somehow made sense. He did look a little bit more dressed up yesterday, and it had been interested in your drink. 

“You did make me a drink, and you did walk me home.” You comforted him with a shy smile on your face. Your words gave him the confidence he had lost when you had opened the door. 

“I also wanted to kiss you the moment you entered the bar yesterday. You looked so incredibly gorgeous; I had to fight Sehun to sit next to you.” His eyes showed you hunger you hadn’t noticed before, not just lust but a longing for you. He saw you weren’t going to say anything, so he continued while taking a step closer to you, almost closing the gap between the two of you. You didn’t step back, but let him get closer to you.

“I know we had only met last week, but I feel this tug at my heart toward you. You’re all I think about. I feel like a teenager again with a stupid crush on the girl next to me in chemistry.” He tried to convince you of his honesty, and you were slowly crumbling to his words.

“You don’t have to tell me you like me too. I know I'm straightforward, but would you say yes if I asked you out on a date?” He intertwines your other hands while asking the final question. The question he had been dying to ask you for over a week. You could only nod your head, as you were mesmerized by his presence and his words. No one has ever confessed their feelings to you. No one has ever made you feel as unique as Baekhyun had at this moment. 

You move your head closer to him. He stays frozen, from fear and excitement. You lean in, so your forehead rest against his. You close your eyes. “Thank you.” You whisper.

“For what?” He replied, his voice low and husky.

“For being so unapologetically you.” Your voice wavers because of the tension of the moment. Unexpectedly, his hand drifted to your hip. It settled there and pulled you closer. You inhaled sharply. You were against his warm chest, chiselled to perfection. Must he be so perfect? His breathing quickened as did yours. He began nuzzling your neck with delicate kisses. So faint, they were almost whispers. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to yours. You were surprised to find your lips parted. Your breaths mingled. Your heart fluttered inside your chest, knowing what was to come. You honestly never knew a kiss so innocent could be so intimate and electrifying. 

“Do you have any plans this Friday?” He asked you in between kisses.

“I might have.” You giggled while he sucked at your neck again, he liked to tease you. “If you had paid attention last night you would have known we were going to have dinner at Kyungsoo’s.” You silently teased him, and guilt was written all over his face.

“I still need to explain last night.” He pouted, and for the first time, you pinched his cheeks. He was just too adorable.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You told him with your hand still on his cheek. His head leaned into your touch, and your heart fluttered at the cuteness. 

“But I want to.” He silently confessed before you were interrupted by Soya leaving the elevator.

“Oh, I-…” she started saying before turning back to the elevator that was already closed again. You heard silently curse under her breath, and you started laughing.

“Hi, Soya!” Baekhyun awkwardly said while running his hand through his hair, secretly watching your reaction.

“Oh, hi Baekhyun, didn’t expect to see you here.” She replied to his greeting. It was honestly a funny thing to see the two of them so awkward.

“He lives next to me; you remember, right?” You asked her, and she simply nodded her head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Baekhyun secretly tried to reschedule your date.

“Sounds perfect.” You told him while leading Soya into your apartment. He gifted you a smile that reached his eyes, radiating happiness. You couldn’t help but smile back before closing your door.

“Bye Y/N.” He said through your closed door, and you silently laughed at his behaviour. Once you turned around, you met your best friend’s eyes, who demanded an explanation. 

“Chanyeol told me you were confused today, and now I see you in a very compromising position with Baekhyun. We’ve left you alone for like an hour.” 

“Are you talking to Chanyeol?” You asked her in shock. Your work best friend hadn’t mentioned he spoke with Soya outside of the bar. Were they texting or calling each other, huge difference.

“Yes, we exchanged numbers last night.” She confessed, avoiding your eyes.

“He didn’t tell me.” You whispered under your breath, but you couldn’t be mad, he had already explained enough to you.

“We’re all focused on you and your dramatic love life.”

“Dramatic love life? Nothing ever happens to me.” You told her, entering the kitchen to pour a glass of the wine Soya had brought. Maybe you both should stop drinking to avoid all of life’s riddles you didn’t really want to solve. 

“Tell me what happened.” She asked you while you handed her a glass of white wine. You seated yourself on your counter like Baekhyun had done last time, and you told her the complete story from A to Z. How you secretly liked Baekhyun, she knew of course. How jealous you were when that Taeyong girl entered the bar, she knew. How he had kissed you and left you alone to deal with your feelings as if nothing had happened, she didn’t know that one. You told her about your conversation with Chanyeol about the picture and his little set-up that she knew, and you scolded her for not telling you sooner.

“So, today, he finally confessed?” She asked you, hopefully.

“Confessed is such a big word. He just told me he liked me, that’s all.” You tried to play it cool but failed miserably as a big smile grew on your face.

“Oh, you like him, don’t you?” And you really couldn’t hide it. Oh boy, did you hope Baekhyun couldn’t hear your entire conversation. Did you hope Baekhyun wasn’t going to break your little heart now you had confessed your feelings to yourself.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” You asked her seriously.

“No, when you know, you know.” She reassured you.

“Tell me about Chanyeol.” You demanded, an eye for an eye, that’s how friendships work, right?

“He’s very charming.” Was all she said, and you waited impatiently for her to go on. “He makes me forget about Taehyung, and for now that’s enough.” She hesitantly continued, nervously playing with her hands.

“That’s more than enough for now.” You comforted her with a big hug, almost spilling your wine. The evening continued with the both of you talking about boys, wine and life in general. You happily danced with Soya in your living room until the early hours of the morning, maybe you did have a bit too much to drink, but you didn’t care. At that moment she was all you needed to forget about your still unsure feelings for Baekhyun, and stress for your date tomorrow.

Seventh act: you could get used to this.

The next morning you weren’t so happy that you had danced all night. Your headache couldn’t be ignored, your dry mouth had a bad taste, and you forgot Soya had stayed over, leaving no space to stretch in your bed.

“Wake up.” You told her, pulling the blanket away from her. She barely moved, so you just left her to go and take a shower. Once you returned, she had gotten up and made you some breakfast. 

“I know you don’t do breakfast, but I do, so I made you some too.” She told you once you entered the kitchen, looking fresher than you felt. She had made you an egg and some toast, and you almost immediately dug in.

“Thank you.” You finally said with your mouth filled with toast. 

“No problem, thank you for letting me stay over.” She returned before she left to take a shower. You both got dressed in your clothes, she had worn sweatpants yesterday, and both left your apartment to go to work. You were starting to feel better after your coffee from your favourite bakery. You had also bought something sweet for Chanyeol, to thank him for his advice, patience and him being kind to Soya.

“Why?” He asked you suspiciously of your kind act as if you never gave him any of your food.

“Just because.” You simply stated before leaving to your desk to do some work you didn’t want to do. You could barely focus on your work, your headache had gotten worse, and painkillers weren’t helping you. You were wallowing in your self-pity when your phone vibrated, signalling you had a message.

Baekhyun: I got your number from Chanyeol, is that okay?

You: Yes, of course, what’s up?

Baekhyun: I just wanted to ask if we’re still up for tonight?

You: What do you want to do?

Baekhyun: Surprise?

You: Is there a dress code?

Baekhyun: You can wear whatever you feel like wearing.

You: Noted, ready at 6?

Baekhyun: Perfect.

Your day passed rather slowly, as you wanted to go home and get ready for your first official date with Baekhyun. What were you going to wear? Where were you going? All these questions filled your head until it was almost four, and you could finally leave. You sprinted home, not wanting to waste any time when you still had so much to prepare. Would shaving your legs be too hopeful? Maybe you should, better to be prepared than to be hairy. 

After hopping in and out of the shower to shave the necessary parts, you put on your foundation and did your eyebrows. He might have already said he liked you, but you still wanted to impress him. If you wished to do, you could put in the effort, and he was worth the trouble of shaving your body and sculpting your face with a dark powder.

Once your make-up was done, there was only one thing left to do, finding clothes. You didn’t know what you were going to do, and that made choosing your outfit rather tricky. No heels because if he wanted to go out for a walk that could become troublesome. No jeans because that could easily be too casual for a lot of things. So you decided to wear a simple mid-length green skirt with white flowers, paired with a simple white t-shirt tucked into your skirt. You added some white sneakers and a tiny yellow purse, and you were good to go. 

You were casually scrolling through your phone while seated in your couch when a loud knock was heard. That must be Baekhyun, you thought, and you hurriedly made you way over to your front door, stopping in front of the mirror one last time to check your look. You opened the door after taking a long breath to calm your nerves. 

Baekhyun is always handsome; it doesn’t really matter what he wears; he is angelic mixed with something sexy. Today was no different; he wore ripped blue jeans that matched with a white t-shirt tucked in his pants. He topped it off with a loose flannel hanging over his broad shoulders, and you liked the fact that you matched each other. Baekhyun seemed just as stunned when he saw you, as you were with him. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts to form a coherent sentence.

“You look absolutely breathtaking tonight.” He confessed with the biggest of blushes marking his face. 

“You look rather dashing tonight too.” You told him before giving him a small peck on his blushing cheek.

“Are you ready?” 

“I’m ready for an adventure with you.” You told him with a big smile, flashing your teeth. He offered you his arm and guided you toward the destination only he knew about.

“Where are you taking me?” You asked when you both entered his car. You didn’t even know he had a car; he must make a lot more money than you if he could afford a car.

“You’ll see.” And he didn’t falter for the rest of the ride when you tried to get more information out of him. You didn’t notice the car stopping until Baekhyun loosened his seat belt, and you quickly undid yours too. Your eyes scanned the outside of the vehicle, but you couldn’t make any sense of it. He had parked in the middle of the city, in a random street with little to no bars or restaurants.

“Don’t look so disappointed yet.” He told you when he held your door open. You quickly wiped the confusion of your face and replaced with a genuine smile.

“Not disappointed, just confused.” You explained yourself. Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you toward an ordinary-looking house. It did look a bit old and sketchy, but if you were still enough, you could hear the beat of a pop song playing. Where was he taking you? 

He stopped in the middle of the alleyway to knock on a big black door. A small, hipster-looking lady, opened the door.

“I would ask for a password, but I know you know.” The girl happily stated before hugging Baekhyun. He never let go of your hand, and it strangely comforted you. 

“Thanks.” He told her, and the two of you walked in. You still had no idea where he was taking you. You entered through a sketchy looking alleyway, and now you were speed walking through endless corridors. He finally halted before a red curtain, and slowly opened it for you to enter first. 

The first thing you noticed was a man upon a stage singing with a guitar in his hand, playing a catchy melody you had never heard before. When you both entered the room, he ended his song, and luckily for him, some people clapped their hands politely. You also noticed some people giving him a standing ovation, and they must be his family or some of his friends who felt like family. The room was crowded with people from various backgrounds, which made it all the more alluring to you. Is this their place to forget about their lives for a while? And if so, what were they escaping from? 

“Do you like it?” He whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You looked into his eyes before nodding your head with the biggest smile on your face. He simply chuckled, relieved you liked the place he took you to. 

“This is where I de-stress.” He told you after you both sat down at a table close to the stage. “Whenever I don’t feel good about something, I come here and listen to these people singing their hearts out.” He explained, almost shouting in your hear to be overheard over the new band who started playing. They might be a bit too much at the moment. You wanted to hear Baekhyun’s voice and feel his breath on your skin without being interrupted by a noisy band.

“I like it, Baekhyun. Thank you for inviting me to this place that means a lot to you. I feel special.” You said in his ear, and you could see his eyes wrinkle because of the beautiful smile he was displaying. He turned his head towards yours, and you hoped he would kiss you, but he didn’t.

“You don’t know how special you are, Y/N, especially to me.” His tone had gotten a bit more serious, as to make sure you would believe him. You didn’t know what to say, so you just blushed like you do best. He kissed your cheek before announcing he would go to the bar to get some drinks.

Why was he so intoxicating? Why did all love songs suddenly make sense? He took your breath away, and your heart literately skips a beat when he does something remotely cute. How were you going to survive this date when he was continually knocking all air out of your lungs with just his smile?

A drink was put in front of you, but it wasn’t by Baekhyun, it was the lady who let you inside. She simply smiled and told you to pay attention to the stage, which you thought was strange as no one was performing at the moment. She left you alone in your confusion, something people loved to do when you didn’t want to be left alone. Where the hell was Baekhyun? You didn’t spot him over at the bar, and you immediately thought of the worst. He must have left. He probably thought you were boring. He had a little bit of a chase and decided that was enough.

A voice you recognized coughed on stage, right before you wanted to grab your things and leave. To describe his appearance would be to miss the point totally. He was as handsome as ever, and he didn't give a damn what the others thought of the way he looked.

“Someone once told me everyone needs a little bit of adventure from time to time, and it doesn’t have to be skydiving or anything too wild. For some people, it could be ordering something they would usually never order, for others, it could be singing on a stage in front of a room filled with strangers.” He saw the shock register on your face before you could hide it. A small smile played on his lips; I guess he gets that a lot. The audience tried to whisper, not willing to disturb the new guy on stage. They were all intrigued by his good looks, by merely his presence; he almost got the room to be quiet. It wasn't what he said though; his words were like vanilla pudding, sweet in their ordinary sort of way; it was the richness of his tones – luxurious and warm.

“This is a little cover of a song that has been stuck in my head for over a week now. Enjoy.” He ended his monologue before seating himself at the piano, creating an aura of mystery. His fingers you had admired from the start, began their play on the piano, and you were hooked. His hands gracefully moved, creating a beautiful melody you recognized. He started singing a song you remembered hearing on the radio all the while his eyes made contact with yours. Searching for some confirmation, that you gladly gave him in the form of an encouraging smile.

Oh to be young and in love in New York City. To not know who I am but still know that I’m good as long as you’re here with me. To be drunk and in love in New York City. Midnight into morning coffee, burning the hours talking.

Damn, I like me better when I’m with you, I like me better when I’m with you. I knew from the first time; I’d stay for a long time because I like me better when I’m with you.

It felt like he sang this song just for you, these words were only meant to be heard by you, meant just for you. Once he ended his performance, everyone in the room got up and applauded him, but he didn’t seem to care. He kept his eyes on you while you softly applauded him. Like in the movies, he immediately ran off the stage into your arms. You hugged him and whispered words of encouragement in his ears. “You did so well, Baekhyun. I’m extremely proud of you.”

“Thank you.” He whispered into your ear. His eyes were gazing into yours like he was looking far beyond the hair and makeup. You stand and stare back at his eyes that glimmered like the stars in the sky, forgetting you were in public with all attention on you. Gentle but passionate, he presses his lips onto yours. The world around you slowed so that you could be in this moment. Your heart flutters, and you kiss him back, cherishing the moment and Baekhyun. His lips are soft and warm. He puts his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You pull back and smile. 

“Now, that’s what I call a performance.” The girl from earlier said while giving Baekhyun a beer. “That was extremely good. If you ever want to sing again, don’t hesitate.” She reminded Baekhyun before leaving us with our blushing cheeks and rapidly beating hearts.

“Did you like it?” He asked you after a comfortable moment of silence where you both took small sips from your drinks.

“I loved it; I really think you should sing here again. Was this your first time?” You asked him suspiciously; he was way too good for a first-timer.

“Yes, I wanted to share this with you.” He confessed. “It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, but your words brought me over the edge. I just had to do this so that you would be proud.” His confidence and adrenaline slowly disappeared to make room for his shyness you had come to know and love. People talk about "mixed feelings" like it's an exception, but for Baekhyun it's the norm. He’s scared to try and scared not to; it all depends on if everything is going according to his plan.

“You most definitely succeeded. I’m speechless.” You complimented him again, now with your hand over his.

“I also feel that I have to explain some stuff, from the other night.” He began, but you quickly interrupted. “Baekhyun, you really don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” Your eyes briefly met, still awkward and shy around each other. There was still so much for him to know about you and for him to explain, but tonight was not the time to dig deeper into each other's lives.

“I want tonight to just be about us, now.” You told him emphasizing the last word. 

“So I’ll still see you after tonight?” He asked you flirtatiously.

“We’re neighbours.” You shrugged, deliberately ignoring his flirting.

“Yes, but outside of that.” He tried again with a little wink. You almost faltered. “It depends.” You say.

“I’ll have to make it the best night of your life, just to be sure.”

“That eager to see me again?” You asked him, giddy with excitement for the rest of the night.

“It’s like I can’t get enough of you.” His warm, raspy voice whispered slowly into your ear, sending nerves dancing up your spine. His smile sent your mind into an uncontrolled, captivated spiral and his light touch lingered.

Most of the night went by with some innocent flirting that got your tumultuous thudding heart in overdrive. Somewhere along with the third drink, you got a bit touchy with each other, quickly paying your bill and leaving the public space before any accidents could happen. You made out on your way home and played a little game where you had to kiss every time you passed a brown door. You never noticed it, but there are a lot of brown doors in the city, and it felt like you had been walking home for hours.

Remembering you both forgot Baekhyun’s car at the bar, you decided to celebrate early Alzheimer's with a small bottle of vodka that you bought in a night shop close by home.

“I haven’t done this in over a year.” You happily exclaimed when Baekhyun carefully opened the bottle like it was made out of pure gold.

“Shouldn’t we mix it with something?” He asked after sniffing the bottle, and visibly cringing.

“No, that’s how the losers drink vodka.” You told him before taking a sip of the bottle. You forgot how intense the liquor was, and asked Baekhyun to buy you something to mix the vodka with. You weren’t twenty years old anymore; maybe you should stop trying to be. 

“My loser wanted a sprite, so she gets a sprite.” Baekhyun laughed while he handed you your drink. You pouted when you mixed the sprite with vodka, but Baekhyun was quick to change that pout into a smile. He had taken a photo of you and was showing you off to every passerby, stating he was dating the most beautiful girl. 

“Baekhyun, please stop.” You laughed at him. You gave him the mixed drink, and he finally took a sip of it.

“I’ve never liked strong liquor, but for you, I will try.”

“We don’t have to finish it, you know. That’s the beauty in night drinking. YOLO is what the younger people call it.”

“You’re definitely the beauty in night drinking.”

“Baekhyun, stop being so…” you began, but because of the alcohol, your vocabulary had decreased to only one word: Baekhyun.

“So what? Infatuated? Because I am.” He confessed while grabbing your waist, making you come closer to his. He peppered you with kisses, ignoring passersby.

“I might be too.” You sighed into him, and there was a sudden change noticeable in the air after your confessions. You had both admitted it tonight, and a realization hit you when you noticed the hunger in Baekhyun’s eyes. His hands travelled over your body to your face, where he softly stroked your lips.

“This might be my favourite look, smudged make-up and swollen lips.” He told you, his voice low and husky. 

“My favourite look is you stretching and showing off your abs.” You boldly told him, surprising yourself and Baekhyun with your straightforwardness. 

“Let’s go home.” You softly hummed, and he took it as his cue to take your hand, guiding you toward your apartment building, never stopping the brown door game, as it was too much fun to stop. 

It was almost three in the morning when you both stumbled out of the elevator while aggressively making out. His hands had gotten under your shirt, and your hands were roughly in his hair. It was a mess, but it was a fun mess. You drew your tongue over his teeth and swallowed his groan of pleasure as you slid closer to each other, no visible gap between the two of you. 

You quickly detached yourself so you could look for your keys, and by your surprise you immediately found them. Opening the door was another difficult task, but Baekhyun quickly took over, helping you open the door. Once inside, the two of you closed the gap once again, not wanting to waste a minute or even a second.

With a laugh, he lifts you right off your feet, carrying you toward the bed, letting you fall with a soft bounce on the mattress. You lock eyes for just a moment, just enough for you to feel safe with one another. 

Then he's all business, undoing your skirt, pulling them off, kissing from your toes upward, slowly, his hands on your legs, always just a little higher than the kisses. You feel your back arch in anticipation, knowing where his fingers will soon reach. Your head rocks back against the pillow as he does, the first moan escaping your lips.

It isn't the first time for either of you, but you’re both so nervous you'd never know it. There's something about him that lights you up from the inside, there's something about you that melts his confidence to nothing at all.

Then before you know how it happened, you are naked, and your skin is moving softly together. You feel his hand enter from below moving fast, your tongues entwined in a kiss, and then he's inside, changing your breathing with every thrust, hearing your moans timed to his body. 

Then all at once he stops and kisses from your breasts to your stomach, his hands light; then he's licking and using his fingers all at once, watching your reaction, feeling how your legs move, watching your body writhe. He tells you he's going to make you beg for it and you just let out a moan, unable to articulate a response. 

It didn’t take you long before you came completely undone under his touch, screaming his name and moaning in ecstasy. Once you were finished, you helped him by stroking his member softly, and teasingly whispering words of encouragement in his ear. It didn’t take him long after you topped it all off by kissing his neck and biting his ear.

You both fell asleep while holding each other tight. His arms were perfectly draped around you like a blanket while you snuggled like a baby into his chest. His perfectly sculpted chest you couldn’t get enough off, but you could really get used to sharing a bed with Baekhyun, your cute new neighbour.

— Finished

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[sincerlypadfoot]

The Fifth Marauder (Chapter Eight)

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                                         Harry's First Birthday

It was a shining day on July 31st 1981, my curtains blocked most of the sun that came in which I was grateful about. One thing I was not grateful about this shining morning. 

“Good morning, get up get up!” Sirius Black shouted barging into my room. “I do not know what to get Harry, his birthday is today and I don’t know what to get him,” He cried out falling onto my bed.

“Sirius, just because i’m letting you stay with me, does not mean you can just barge into my room.” I groaned pulling the blanket up to my chest and rolling onto my side, shutting my eyes once more.

“How are you not panicking yet, you haven’t bought him anything yet either and your his godmother!” Sirius pulled onto the blanket causing me to get angry.

“Sirius Black,” I cried out sticking my arm out of my blanket and reaching for my wand. “Accio birthday gift,” I felt a box fall onto my stomach and Sirius gasping.

“What did you get him?” Sirius asked picking up the box, I quickly sat up and took the box from him.

“You’ll see when Harry opens it,” I paused placing the medium sized box beside me. “Sirius, think about it, what do you think Harry will like, and will use in the future,”

Sirius stayed silent for a moment, thinking to himself, his head was pointed down, and his skin was glowing from the light admitting behind the curtain, I looked on his back, admiring the tattoos he had gotten throughout the years.

“I’ve got it!” Sirius shouted standing up. “Thank you Ellie, thank you so much,” Sirius ran out of the room, slamming the door making me smile and lean back in  my bed, preparing myself for the rushed day it was going to be, I rolled my eyes at the nickname he had given me.

I pushed my blankets off of me, covering the shining blue wrapped box, thanks to magic. 

For almost four years, Sirius Black had been living in my tiny apartment, at his request, since he hadn’t want to bother the Potters after they got married and Remus was to far of a neat freak for Sirius so he had moved in here.

“Sirius!” I called out looking around my apartment, from my room Sirius room laid across, with a bathroom at the complete end of the hall, then a long hallway entering the living room, which was fairly large for the most part then the kitchen turning left.

“I’m leaving, I promise i’ll be back in the hour!” Sirius called out from his room, I rolled my eyes walking into the bathroom and shutting the door, my towel laid still, which wasn’t all a problem but since it wasn’t where I last put it, caused a problem.

“Quick using my towel Sirius!” I yelled as I turned the water on and started undressing myself. Locking the door with my wand, not wanting any unwanted visitors. The water quickly became hot and I jumped in, enjoying, again, the peace and quiet.

“Sirius is gone, please tell me what you got Harry!” Remus shouted walking into the bathroom. “Please,”

I stuck my head out of the curtain and looked at the boy who didn’t even live close to our house. “Remus get out of my house, I am not telling you and i’m naked!” 

“And i’m gay, come on tell me,” Remus sat down on our sink crossing his arms, I shook my head sticking my head back into the shower.

“What did you get Harry?” I asked washing my hair, slowly unbothered by Remus who hummed to himself.

“Whatever Sirius gets him, did you not hear us last night agreeing on what to get the boy,” Remus shouted, I rolled my eyes sticking my soapy head back out.

“No, but you guys should also learn to silence yourselves, some people like peace and quiet well sleeping,” Remus’ face went bright red as I finished my sentence.

“Yeah, if you could, keep it a secret, that would be greatly appreciated y/n,” I stuck my head, once again back in the shower and continued to wash my hair. “You think Sirius actually likes me, or you know, cause i’m so irresistible sexy,”

I snorted at the end of his sentence, getting soap in my eye in the process. “Yeah I think you might be right Remus, only liking you for your irresistible ness,” I joked rolling my eyes paused and shutting off the shower and grabbing my towel and wrapping it around myself. “No Remus,” I paused getting out of the shower covered. “He likes you, all he does is talk about you, don’t come barging into my room now,” I walked out of the bathroom and back into my room letting a breath out and shutting my door, locking it again.

“Oh come on, you can’t just tell me that and not give me any more information, what does he talk about, does he like my hair, does he think i’m weird!” Remus banged on my door, I rolled my eyes, dropping my towel and walking naked over towards my dresser.

“Move out of the way, i’ve got this!” Sirius yelled, I heard my locket click, I grabbed my wand, shutting my door.

“I am naked! I will be out in a second, go make out with each other and leave me alone or i’ll kick you out Sirius, personal space!” I screamed slamming my door shut with my hands now. “You both like each other, do something about it, or clean the house, anything!” 

“Sorry y/n,” The pair whispered walking away.

“Do you actually like me?” I heard Sirius say making me smile, I turned back around and took a pair of nice jeans out of my dresser and a long wool sweater, slipping them on quickly.

“Are you guys ready to go?” I yelled out grabbing my wand and present, then swung my door open, Sirius had Remus pinned against the wall, causing my hands to swing over my eyes.

“Yes, Sirius get off of him,” Remus mocked, removing his hands from Sirius chest and watching Remus use all his force to push Sirius off. “We decided on getting Harry a shared gift,” His smile lit the whole room for Sirius who stood holding a long shaped box in his hands.

“Come on Remus, y/n, we’ve got a birthday party to attend too,” Sirius smiled brightly, grabbing the floo powder from the fireplace. “Godric's hollow!” The green fire covered Sirius, leaving Remus and I.

“Race you!” I shouted chuckled, darting to the fireplace, Remus and I both managing the fit in.

“Godric's hollow!”  Remus shouted and the smoke took over the both of us, we ended up infront of Sirius who looked around the house

“They’re not home, we’re home alone,” Sirius chuckled helping the two of us out of the fireplace. “Must be out, what should we do,”

I smirked looking around the house, undecorated. “Why don’t we charm this place up, i’m sure there are a few things we can pull out our asses,” I chuckled walking into the living room.

“This is why your the smart one here,” Sirius hummed kissing the top of my head and pulling his wand out of his pocket.

I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a empty glass and pointing my wand down. “Aguamenti,” water appeared and I chuckled it down, ready to decorate.

“Herbivicus!” Sirius shouted causing both Remus and I to turn around with a smile, the plants that were nearly buds were now fully grown, Lilies and tulips hung on the window ledges.

After a hour of decorating the house, balloons hung up, a large one in the middle of the living room and two presents beside the one made the three smile.

“Harry we’re home,” Lily brightly said, but her voice stopped and little “o”s came out of her mouth.

“Surprise!” Sirius, remus and I all shouted jumping out of the living room with a smile, looking a baby Harry, James who had a giant smile from ear to ear and Lily who looked like she was going to cry.

“Let me see my godson, big boy Harry,” Sirius excitedly jumped, walking over to Harry and taking him out of Lilys arms, cooing in his face.

“You guys really surprised us,” James walked over to us, pulling Remus and I into a hug.

“We’re glad,” I whispered holding onto James. “What did you guys do today?” I asked as we all let go.

“Brought Harry for ice cream and picked him out some new clothes, isn’t that right James,” Lily pipped in, bringing me into a hug. “I’m glad you’ve done this love, it’s lovely,”

“Come on Harry, I wanna show you what Uncle Remus and I got you,” Sirius ran passed the four of us, causing Harry to burst into laughing, Lily looked worried but calm at Sirius

“Me first,” I smiled grabbing my light blue gift and sitting down beside Harry who crawled onto my lap. “Here you go little guy,” I pushed the box lightly to Harry, letting him unwrap it.

“Box!” Harry shouted, making everyone burst into a fit as he looked a plan white box, Harry was everyone's pride and joy, and the boy would have everyone killed for him to live.

“Open it buddy,” I whispered, helping him a bit more, his hand reached into a box, pulling out a snowglobes. A little boy, brown hair sat on the ground infront of a large snowman, alone.

“Oh y/n, it’s amazing,” James said a bit confused. “What is it?” He asked causing Lily to lightly shove his shoulder.

I grabbed my wand from beside him, looking at Harry with a smile then placing my wand on the top, I watched as five figures came out, Lily and James hand in hand, Sirius and Remus also hand in and then I who came out, snow fell down.

“It’s beautiful,” Lily whispered, Harry looked down, admiring and laughing as he watches all the figures inside do their own thing.

“I figured, if pictures could move, I could do it with anything, it’s simple to stop, and I thought he’d love it,” I leaned down, planting a kiss on Harry's head, he smiled looking down still.

“Us next,” Sirius jumped up, causing Harry to jump then look up at me, my lips curled, holding back my tears, knowing i’d do anything for that kid.

“This is from Uncle Sirius and I,” Remus moved beside Harry, wrapped his arms around the kid, I stopped the snowglobe, watches the figures freeze then placing it gently back in the box.

“Oh you did not,” Lily bursted out laughing as Sirius bent down, placing the long box on Harry's lap. 

“OH we totally did,” Sirius smirked, helping Harry unwrap the gift, a small, toddler sized broom was unwrapped.

“Bloody hell, my kids gonna be a star, we have to go try it out!” James jumped from the couch but Lily pulled him down.

“After darling,” Lily whispered, causing me to smile, I looked at her then down at the broom, Harry held it in his little wee hands as Sirius explained everything to him.

“We did good you know,” Remus whispered leaning his head on mine. “I love the snow globe, it’s perfect,”

I stayed silent for a moment, admiring Sirius, and everyone else in the room. “Yeah, we did really good,”

#marauders fanfiction #the marauders #hp marauders #Maraudersera #young marauders #SiriusBlack #RemusLupin #LilyEvans #JamesPotter #HarryPotter

[aughraseye]

Do all the numbers for the obligatory Tavronica

1) who can outdrink the other?

Onica. Even compared to the other Sifa, Onica handles her liquor really well and generally without being visibly drunk. Tavra on the other hand gets super flushed after a few drinks and starts acting much less reserved than she typically is.

2) who says “I love you” more? 

Onica. This is pretty much canon. She’s slipping ‘I love yous’ and little terms of endearment into her speech whenever she’s talking to Tavra. She’s verbally the far more affectionate partner, and she’s pretty comfortable showing her feelings that way. 

3) who has trouble sleeping alone? 

Tavra. I think that while she probably has no trouble falling asleep she does tend to wake up a lot and struggles with getting back to sleep. When she’s with Onica though, the comfort of another person in bed with her helps keep her relaxed through the night. Onica also knows what tas and incense to use to help Tavra feel calm and drowsy for a good night’s sleep.

4) who swears more?

Tavra! This is also pretty much canon. She’s not afraid to drop an ‘eel feathers’ when the situation calls for it. Even though she’s part of the royal family, she’s also a soldier. Though she’s careful about when and whose company she’s in before letting loose an expletive, she’s far more likely to swear than Onica who frankly doesn’t really swear much at all.

5) who does more of the housework?

Yeah this is 100% Tavra. I really see Tavra and Onica as having very different standards of a ‘clean home.’ Onica is a bit of a hoarder and her space can quickly feel cluttered. Between the herbs she hangs from the ceiling, the candles and incense she uses, and all the trinkets she’s collected through her travels, her space can be a real mess.

But Tavra? She’s used to very neat spaces - royal chambers that look elegant and minimalist, spartan barracks that are bare of everything but the necessities - and it’s pretty likely that she’s used to living out of a backpack or landstrider bag when she’s out doing paladin stuff.

As a result she’s the one tidying up, moving things to their ‘proper place’ and washing floors, windows, dusting, etc. They do respect each other’s habits though and have worked to find a good balance between messy and clean.

6) who forgets their anniversary? 

I’m not really sure that either of them would forget their anniversary. I’m also not sure that either of them would really care about an anniversary.

I think both of them treasure the day they met, though it also carries some sadness with it since that was the day Onica lost her wings. And I think that they treasure the days since when their relationship grew and eventually blossomed into what it is now, but I really don’t think an anniversary is as important to them as those first days of spring and fall when Onica returns to the coast.

7) who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Onica, but not because she’s cold. Tavra just runs so hot that sleeping with blankets and duvets is usually too warm for her. So in the middle of the night she pushes them off and onto Onica who just lays there and lets it happen. She’d much rather cuddle with Tavra though instead of being wrapped in her discarded blankets.

8) who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

Neither of them snore so this isn’t a problem.

9) who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

Neither. They aren’t really pet people, but they do like animals.

10) who usually makes dinner?

Onica. Though she isn’t much for the cleaning side of domestic tasks she is an excellent cook! The Sifa have access to spices and foods from all over Thra, and their cuisine really reflects that. They are great cooks and Onica is no exception. She also really loves to cook especially for friends or for Tavra when they have the chance to share a meal together.

Tavra can cook too, but her go-to recipes tend to be very utilitarian - meant more to provide nutrients and energy as opposed to flavor, texture, and visual appeal.

11) who plays their music out loud? 

Because of the Dark Crystal’s setting ALL music is pretty much played aloud. However, I think Onica would be more likely to start singing or humming a tune, or even getting a musician to start up a song. We know she’s a phenomenal singer and The Sifa are known for their musicianship and celebratory character. I think Tavra’s a little too reserved for that kind of behavior though. I also think (based on nothing at all) she’s probably tone deaf and rarely sings because of it.

12) who hogs the bathroom? 

Onica. She takes ages in the bathroom. Salt water and ocean winds can be rough on your hair and skin so she spends a lot of time making sure she maintains her soft hair and complexion. She also really enjoys using various lotions and tonics. It’s an act of self care for her to take her time in the bathroom getting ready and feeling good about herself. It’s usually a total mess when she’s done too.

Tavra doesn’t really mind any of this though. It makes her happy that Onica is happy, and she can’t complain about how nice she always smells and how smooth and soft her skin can be. She just wishes that there was space in the bathroom for more than her single bar of soap.

13) who gives the most compliments? 

They both compliment each other quite a lot.

Onica’s pretty free with verbal affection, and complimenting Tavra is part of that. But when she gives a compliment it’s kind of clear that that’s what she meant to do.

Tavra on the other hand, isn’t nearly as verbose and she’s not really the kind to compliment anyone to their face unless it’s a particularly genuine and heartfelt remark. However, she ends up complimenting Onica way more than she actually realizes. She doesn’t realize that’s what she’s doing, because she doesn’t really recognize it as being an opinion. To her it’s kind an objective fact that Onica is an incredibly talented fardreamer, a skilled sailor, a brave person, and a smart, beautiful, wonderful woman. So, while not often, she does end up complimenting Onica in a really matter of fact way thinking that it’s more of a statement of the obvious than anything else.

14) who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

Onica starts waaaay more of their fights. I’ve talked about this elsewhere, but I really think that although Tavra is pretty reserved she is open about her feelings and what’s bothering her. A lifetime of living with Brea and Seladon has honed her ability to let shit go and generally resolve conflict before it gets out of hand.

Onica though? She bottles stuff up like crazy. I see her as being the type who not only feels a lot but struggles to open up about it, even with Tavra. So, she’ll hold on to stuff, and as it continues to simmer below the surface she’ll start getting passive aggressive and irritable. And if Tavra doesn’t pick up on it and force her to talk about it, Onica will eventually have a bit of a meltdown and they have to hash it out from there.

15) who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public? 

Oh man. Neither of them would really do this, because they have to be so careful about being seen together.

But actually, Onica. In both Tides and Flames she’s shown to have a bit of a teasing streak and has zero problem playfully (and sometimes not as playfully) embarrassing people. I think in the right setting she gets a real kick out of provoking Tavra and seeing how she’ll react.

16) who gives the other cringeworthy pet names?

Onica, but only when she’s doing the above.

17) who fusses over takes care of the other when they get sick?

Both.

Tavra’s more of a useless fusser. She freaks herself out when Onica is sick and tends to do way too much or pull back entirely as she internally panics. It’s not incredibly helpful either way.

Onica actually provides care and does things to help Tavra feel better.

18) who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

Tavra. She’s the queen of letting stuff go and keeping a calm head. She really wouldn’t have managed to stay sane living with Brea, Seladon, and their mother otherwise. 

When it comes to Onica she’s always aware that there are so many other things keeping them apart. So, she really isn’t willing to let a grudge, or a fight, or a lingering feeling of frustration/anger be another obstacle in their relationship.

19) who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

Both of them. Although they’re an action couple, unafraid of sailing into a storm or diving headfirst into one, they both have a lot of anxiety about the other one getting hurt. Tavra’s a little more likely to cling, just because she remembers pulling Onica from that storm and how limp and cold she was, how ragged her body looked as her back bled from where her wings had torn almost completely off. Onica also knows how reckless Tavra can be but is better composed (at least on the surface) when she is sad or scared.

Both of them though take great comfort in being able to touch the other, feel that they are safe, and reassure themselves that things are going to be alright.

20) who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

They are both hugely physically affectionate. While Tavra is not the kind to show open affection around others unless she’s afraid (see above) when they’re alone together they are both initiating hugs, kisses, and more...

They’re definitely a good match intimately, and because they’ve been together for so long their physical relationship is probably well explored and continues to evolve.

#tavra #onica #the dark crystal #age of resistance #tavra x onica #tavronica #ask meme #mine

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Empty Space

Summary: The reader meets Jensen on the street after a near accident and the pair end up becoming best friends. After she goes through a bad breakup though, they start to find their own relationship might be on the rocks too...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 8,300ish

Warnings: language, cheating (not Jensen), angst, fluff

“Thank you so much!” you said, clutching your coffee to your chest.

“No problem, Y/N,” he said with a laugh. You didn’t care at all how hard you were blushing as you turned and walked away. You’d just gotten a picture with Ryan freaking Reynolds, in Starbucks, and apparently you wore the same coat as his wife and he’d thought you were her from behind which was amazing in itself for your confidence and-

“Hey!” was shouted directly in your right ear, a hand grabbing your arm so hard you swore it’d bruised instantly. You felt a surge of panic at someone grabbing you, even though it was only four in the afternoon, the sun still out, people around on the city streets. You stumbled as you were dragged back into a chest and then a few more feet, your boots catching on the sidewalk, your coffee all over the ground. You turned around with wide eyes, finding a slightly pissed but concerned man with green ones staring back. “Don’t be walking straight into traffic.”

“What…” you trailed off, eyes ahead, the crosswalk light red, traffic moving quickly through the city street. You’d been so wrapped up in your own head you hadn’t even looked, hadn’t even peeled your eyes up from the ground. You glanced back up at him, spotting he was the only one standing at that intersection, his eyes less angry now. “T-Thanks.”

“Be more careful,” he said. You nodded and ducked your head down, rubbing your arm as you waited at the crosswalk. “Sorry.”

“Hm?” you asked, the man staring ahead.

“Sorry. If I grabbed you too hard. You were just...you were making a beeline right into...cars move a little faster on this side of town,” he said. “I didn’t really want to have to see that today.”

“Yeah, sorry,” you said. He nodded and you waited a few more seconds, the crosswalk giving you the go ahead. You took a deep breath before you went, the guy already taking off. You glanced right, immediately sprinting out into the crosswalk and grabbing his arm with both hands, yanking him backwards as fast as you could. He fell back on the pavement behind you, his coffee cup spilling all over next to yours. He glanced up as you saw a taxi blow through the red light. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, getting to his feet, brushing himself off, shaking his head. “I think the both of us should get the fuck away from this intersection.”

“No arguments from me,” you said, back on the sidewalk, the guy rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, it’s scary. I get it.”

“I’m Jensen,” he said with a soft smile.

“Y/N,” you said back.

“Well, Y/N. If you’re not too busy, I say we both go grab another cup of coffee and calm down for a minute,” he said.

“Yeah. I could do with that.”

Six Months Later

“Hey,” said Jensen when he answered his front door. You were still scowling, ducking under his arm and into his apartment, going straight to his freezer and grabbing some vanilla ice cream, shoving it on the counter. You grabbed a spoon from the drawer as Jensen closed up after you, eyeing you as you went to the cabinet he kept the booze in and grabbed some whiskey. You undid the top and poured yourself a double, knocking it back before putting it away. You took the ice cream and spoon over to his couch, peeling a blanket off the back and throwing it over yourself, quickly stabbing into it.

He hummed as he walked over, taking a seat beside you, watching as you angrily ate. You gave him a quick glance, a worried smile on his face.

“I take it your date with Marcus didn’t go well,” said Jensen.

“Stupid guys. Stupid, stupid, assholes,” you muttered, sighing when you looked at him. “Not all guys, just-”

“Oh, guys are assholes, trust me,” said Jensen. You set down your ice cream on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch, your bottom lip starting to wobble. “Come here, kiddo.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his side. Your face was hot as you felt the tears start to form, Jensen not saying a word as he kicked up his feet and threw on the TV to something quiet, shushing you as he rubbed your back. You cried less than you thought you would, Jensen never once pushing you to talk.

“I’m really glad I met you, Jay,” you said quietly, voice hoarse about fifteen minutes later.

“Me too,” he said, brushing one last tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“Marcus and I broke it off,” you sniffled. “He’s...he’s been seeing another girl for a while. A few months. He blamed the going long distance thing for work and it was nothing I really did but maybe if I’d-”

“He cheated on you. That was not your fault. You tried and talked everyday. He was the one always coming up with excuses,” said Jensen.

“I’m the one that moved up here for work though. It was only supposed to be for nine months. Nine here. Three there. I-”

“Not. Your. Fault,” said Jensen, a bit more sternly. You frowned but there was no way Jensen would ever for a second let you feel bad about this, even if you knew deep down Marcus had given up on the two of you months ago. You gave Jensen a quick smile and nod. He reached over and picked up the ice cream, holding out the spoon for you. “Does this mean I can be your wingman now? I’ve never gotten to see flirty, Y/N.”

“I don’t know how to flirt,” you said, taking a bite of ice cream, Jensen taking a scoop for himself before holding another out for you. “You do. Could...could you show me?”

“What? Y/N, let’s slow things down. You literally broke up with your boyfriend less than an hour ago. Let’s not go look for the rebound guy right now,” said Jensen.

“Yeah, I know. I’m hopeless,” you said. Jensen rolled his eyes, moving the ice cream back to the coffee table. “Hey. I wasn’t done.”

“You aren’t hopeless. I’m the one that’s hopeless,” he said with a laugh. “According to the internet I have a type. Look at my old girlfriends and I can’t even prove them wrong. I’m as stereotypical as the world thinks.”

“What the hell were you doing looking something like that up online? You had to have known it was only going to be mean comments,” you said.

“It was years ago. I don’t even look at comments on anything I post anymore,” he said. “Now I’m a professional third wheeler with Jared and Gen. Or worse. I go on ‘bro’ dates with my buddies who are all married or have kids or are at least in relationships,” he said, huffing as he slid back into his cushions. “Come here, we were making you feel better.”

Jensen pulled you into a big hug. You were a little surprised. He was open with you, more open than probably any other man you’d ever met but you were also his best friend. He talked about stuff with you, stuff that maybe he was a bit shy to share at first but he trusted you and you knew having Jensen’s trust was something special. He gave it out at a surface level to everyone. He expected to be shown that same general level of kindness and respect that everyone did. Jensen went a little above and beyond that at times when he gave it out but it was simply how he was raised and the good person he was. Most of the people he knew fell into this middle ground, they had trust but there was hesitancy, always a little on guard, not everything out in the open. Then there was the very small amount of people he actually let in all the way. It was almost exclusively his family apart from a few close friends, some he’d known since he was a kid.

The only reason you knew about this stuff was because he told you about it all once and how you didn’t fit in the neat little system. Somehow you got that trust immediately, almost like you snuck in or something without permission.

Still, there were things he didn’t talk about often like dating and the idea that Jensen ever had issue with his current love life or lack of one was something new to you.

“Good morning,” said Jensen. You sat up from the couch, a few blankets tossed over you, a pillow from his room where your head had been. You stretched and yawned, Jensen smirking as he worked in the kitchen. “Feeling any better?”

“Yeah. Just sucks getting cheated on. Thanks for letting me crash here last night,” you said. You excused yourself to the bathroom, returning to find a plate of pancakes set at one of the places on the counter.

“You tired yourself out crying again. I wouldn’t want you to drive home like that,” he said. You nodded and glanced down, Jensen bumping your shoulder when he took a seat next to you with his own plate. “Don’t go and get embarrassed on me, Y/N. You know I don’t care about that shit.”

“I know. I was hoping I’d wake up and be over the whole thing but I still feel crappy,” you said.

“You dated Marcus a long time. It’s going to hurt,” he said. “Just don’t start thinking this was your fault on me.”

“I mean...she is a lot prettier than me,” you said, thinking of the picture Marcus had showed you the night before. “He even said so. I mean, she really was and…”

Jensen put his fork down, a strange little growl coming from behind his closed lips.

“These pancakes are really good,” you said. He sighed, going back to his food, shoulders tense as he ate. You helped him clean up the pan but wanted to get out of there. Jensen was agitated and not bothering to hide it. You knew Fridays were normally long filming days for him and you had dropped by out of the blue at midnight when he’d probably just gotten home and he had a con to head to that afternoon and you probably ruined his one full night of sleep he’d get all week.

“Hey,” said Jensen when you made for the door and your shoes. You finished slipping them on, Jensen coming to a stop in front of you. “Marcus is a pig you realize. If the long distance thing got to him, he should have manned up and said so and broke it off like an adult. He went behind your back and cheated on you which is royally douchey and then he said this other chick was prettier than you? How small a sack does he have to do that? He wasn’t a good guy, Y/N and you honestly shouldn’t give a shit about what he said. I’ve seen a lot of ‘pretty’ girls with my job and everything. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and I know that’s all you. Don’t believe what he said.”

“I...thanks, that means a lot right now,” you said, giving him a small smile.

“Gonna come to the con this weekend? I know you thought you had other plans but...it’d mean a lot if you did. Seattle is right next door,” he said. “My treat.”

“You’re not going to let me sit home and mope, are you,” you said.

“Not unless you really want to,” he said.

“Alright. Text me the plan later and I’ll see you tonight,” you said.

“Awesome. I can’t wait.”

“Hey, Y/N,” you heard. You spun around in the lobby area, Cliff giving you a wave. “Drive down okay?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Jensen said I can crash in his room so I don’t have to drive back tonight.”

“I know,” he said with a smirk, handing over a key card.

“I sort of broke things off...well I guess my boyfriend broke up with me last night. Jensen’s just keeping an eye on me. You know how much he worries about stuff,” you said.

“Sorry to hear that kiddo. He mentioned you might be a little bummed out. Probably why he has a surprise for you,” said Cliff. You tilted your head but Cliff just smiled. “I’ll be down here when you’re ready to go see the guys.”

“Just give me two minutes to drop off my bag. I’ll be right back,” you said. You quickly went up the elevator, finding Jensen’s room at the end of the hall. You set your bag down on the empty queen bed, fixing your hair in the bathroom for a minute, forcing a smile on your face.

You were going to have some fun tonight, no matter what. You grabbed your purse and phone and headed back down to the lobby, Cliff showing you past the security and into the green room.

“Hey!” was greeted to you, a loud chorus coming from Jensen’s friends. You didn’t spot him in there but saw Jared, getting a quick hug from him.

“Hey, pipsqueak,” he said, rubbing your arm. “How you feeling?”

“Alright,” you said, Jared nodding. “You?”

“Pretty good,” he said, pulling you aside. “I got to find out second hand from Jensen? Really?”

“Jare,” you said quietly, glancing down. 

“Marcus is an idiot,” said Jared softly, giving you a kind smile. “It’s probably for the best though.”

“I thought he loved me,” you mumbled.

“You don’t do that to people you love. You got people that actually do right here,” he said.

“You guys are my friends. It’s different and you know that,” you said.

“Alright, alright,” said Jared, sighing as he gave you a big squishing hug. “But we do love you.”

“Yeah,” you said, Jared releasing you when you saw Jensen walk in the room, your eyebrows raising. “What are you wearing, Ackles?”

“Clothes, dufus,” said Jensen, chuckling when he walked over to you. “Drive down okay?”

“Mhm,” you said, Jensen smirking when you cocked your head at him. “Leather jacket?”

“I wear a leather jacket sometimes,” he said, that smirk still plastered on his face.

“Jensen’s playing rockstar tonight,” said Jared. You raised an eyebrow and Jensen rolled his eyes. “Did he forget to mention that?”

“Yeah,” you said, cocking your head as Jared wandered off. “You’re like a triple threat, aren’t you, Jens?”

“Oh, my dancing is appalling and I can’t really sing,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “Acting’s all I got at this point.”

“Oh, is that all?” you teased, looking him up and down. “You look different.”

“Bad different?” he said, a flicker of something crossing his face.

“No. Sorry. I guess I forget you’re like, a hot guy sometimes,” you said. You blinked a few times, Jensen doing the same. “I’m sorry. That came out horrible. I-”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I know I’m hot stuff,” said Jensen, Jared snorting from close by. “Just have a good time tonight, alright?”

“Hey,” said Jensen when you got back from the late dinner after the concert. You lifted your head up from the couch in the hotel room where you’d placed a pillow and some sheets, Jensen kneeling down in front of you in his pajamas. “You okay? You’ve been off all night.”

“I’m tired is all, Jens,” you said, closing your eyes with a smile, turning away from him. You heard him shuffle and the edge of the couch dipped, Jensen taking a seat on the small unused portion.

“If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to. I can ask Cliff to drive you and your car home. You don’t have to stay,” he said, resting a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you said quietly.

“Sorry about what?” he asked. You glanced over your shoulder, his face so genuinely innocent and curious you shook your head. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Maybe that’s why Marcus broke up with me. I’m stupid and overreact to little shit I shouldn’t,” you said. You pulled your covers over your head and brushed off Jensen when he tried to touch you again. He sighed and you felt him move away.

A few moments later, you heard the room light switch on and your covers were yanked away. You spun around and looked up, Jensen scowling as he tossed the sheets over to his bed.

“Get up,” he said. You shook your head, never seeing him look at you like that before. He softened his face a hair and held out a hand. “Please get up.”

“Why?” you asked quietly.

“Because we have to go somewhere, that’s why,” he said, opening and closing his hand. “Please?”

After a second you stood up, Jensen taking hold of your hand gently, urging you to slip on your shoes. He grabbed his sweatshirt and your spare room key, tucking them both under his arm before shoving his own key card in his sweatpants. He didn’t bother with his shoes, simply left the room with you and started to walk down the hall. You rounded a corner and walked some more before Jensen lightly knocked on a door. You looked up at him, Jensen giving you a smile when the door opened.

“Hey,” mumbled Jared, mostly behind the door, probably in his underwear. You turned around, Jensen giving him a smile too.

“Put on some pants. Someone’s having her first sleepover,” said Jensen. You raised an eyebrow, Jared wearing a sad smile for a brief moment. He ducked inside and returned wearing some sweatpants, opening the door for the two of you to enter.

Jensen dropped your hand away and handed you the sweatshirt and card, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“What-”

“Jared’s going to talk to you for a little while and then we can talk after if you want, okay?” asked Jensen.

“I don’t really understand what’s going on,” you said.

“Jensen and I came to an arrangement after a few years back,” said Jared. “He ever gets scared, I ever get scared, we have a ‘sleepover’ or late night talk or whatever you want to call it and talk it out.”

“I’m still lost.”

“Get up on the bed, kiddo,” said Jared softly.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “What the hell is this? You two bringing me here in the middle of the night…”

“Y/N. You must have said something that scared Jensen. I don’t know what, but you did and it was obviously something that made him think I should get involved so take a second to relax and just sit down,” said Jared.

“Well what exactly did I say?” you said, crossing your arms at Jensen.

“You’ve been saying so many mean things about yourself since last night. You don’t talk like that and I know part of it’s the breakup but even before the concert you were weird around me and I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he said.

“It’s called a bad breakup, Jensen,” you scowled. “For fuck’s sake, not everyone and everything is your responsibility.”

“I just-”

“You just overreacted to a few comments. You know what? I think I will take you up on your offer. I’m going home.”

Sunday Night

“Yeah?” you said, answering the intercom at your apartment.

“Jensen is here to see you,” said your doorman.

“Tell him to leave. I don’t want to speak to him in case he didn’t get the message. If he comes back, turn him away,” you said.

“Yes, Ms. Y/L/N.”

Saturday Night

“Hey, Y/N,” said your boss, pulling you away from one conversation and to another. You hated these networking things but you also knew he was trying to help you find a job after your current show ended this season.

You sighed when he pulled you over to speak to a few producers on a different network. It was going well for a while until they mentioned the show they worked on and they pulled one of their lead actors over as he was walking by.

“Y/N, this is Jensen. He plays Dean on the show,” said one of the guys, Jensen giving you a nod.

“We’ve met,” he said cooly. You shouldn’t have been surprised by the reaction. Monday night you got in a big fight over text and basically told him to never speak to you again. You weren’t some thing for him to fix or feel sorry for. You didn’t need the “perfect boy” in your life anyways.

Not to mention telling him he was right that there was something wrong with him for still being single at his age probably ruined that friendship forever. It was a low move and not true but he hadn’t shut up about trying to figure out what happened between the two of you. He’d pushed too much and you'd still been upset over Marcus and if he wasn’t getting that, it was his fault. 

He hadn’t spoken a word to you since.

“Y/N might be joining the team next year if we can convince her to stay up here for the winter again. She’s originally from Texas too in fact,” said the guy.

“Not sure we want someone with not a lot of experience in the production office. I mean, it’s a pretty important position for next year, last year and all,” said Jensen. You glared at him, ready to spit something out completely unprofessional when your night got even worse.

“Hey!” said Marcus, butting into the conversation with his new girlfriend on his arm. “Kevin, long time no see.”

“Yeah, haven’t been down in LA for awhile, didn’t know you were in town,” said Kevin, Marcus giving you a nod. “You two know each other?”

“Oh, yeah. Y/N and I used to date,” said Marcus, brushing you off. “This is Veronica. She’s a model.”

“Of course she is,” you mumbled to yourself. You tried to back out of the conversation but your boss kept reeling you back in.

“Y/N, I think maybe next week we could get together, have a more formal conversation about next season plans?” said one of the producers. Marcus chuckled, everyone’s heads turning to him.

“You want to hire her?” said Marcus. “You’d be better off with a trained monkey.”

“Excuse me?” you shot back, Jensen looking back and forth between you and Marcus.

“Let’s just say, she didn’t get her first job through talent,” said Marcus with another laugh. “Better off leaving this one alone unless you want to leave her around for her looks which...well let’s just say she was more put together in LA.”

You were pretty sure you’d never felt more humiliated and angry and your boss didn’t stop you when you tried to go. You only made it a few steps though when you heard Jensen’s voice.

“Well let’s just say, you’re a cheating piece of shit that’s going to apologize to Y/N and then never speak to her again, or else I’m going to have the satisfaction of beating your face in,” said Jensen.

“You’re the asshole that stole someone’s girlfriend, dude,” said Marcus. Jensen chuckled and got in Marcus’ face.

“I was her friend. I am her friend, her best friend and you ought to show her some respect,” said Jensen. “I don’t know what the fuck you drilled into her head but you never deserved her in the first place.”

You walked away after that, not wanting to see the rest. After a few minutes in the bathroom, you cleaned yourself up, your boss right outside when you finished, apologizing to you. You shook it off and made an excuse to leave early. You bumped into one of the producers on the way out and they made you promise to come have that conversation the next week and to ignore Marcus. They weren’t that kind of show that tolerated that sort of thing. You nodded and got out of there, nearly getting a cab when a text popped up.

You’re still my best friend.

You smiled and closed your eyes before you responded.

Mine too. You deserve a better one than me though. You never did anything wrong, I did.

“Y/N,” you heard after a minute. You turned around and saw Jensen walking over to you from the event, coming to a stop in front of you. “We got to talk.”

“No, we don’t,” you said, rubbing your hand against your eyes. “I was a bitch.”

“Well I was a dick,” said Jensen. “So we’re even.”

“No, we’re not,” you said.

“What happened?” he said. “At the concert.”

“I don’t know why you’re my friend,” you said.

“Y/N I want to know what happened when-”

“That’s what happened. I made that comment and I sort of realized how good looking you are, not that I’m blind, but I always just saw you as my best friend, Jensen, and it made me think. I didn’t understand why someone like you with your life and friends and everything would ever want to be my friend. I kept coming up with the same answer and it was because you felt sorry for me,” you said.

“I’ve never felt sorry for you, Y/N. I’m sorry you were cheated on and I’m sorry that just happened in there. I’m sorry I overreacted and brought Jared into it because I honestly wasn’t sure of the right thing to say at that moment and I was afraid saying the wrong thing would cause something bad to happen. I’m sorry you don’t see yourself the way I see you, the way other people do. But I’ve never felt sorry for you, Y/N,” he said.

“See? You’re perfect and I’m the bitch that-”

“Don’t call yourself a bitch,” said Jensen.

“I never meant what I said about there being something wrong with you, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and smiled.

“I know. I knew when you said it but I got pissed and stopped talking to you when I shouldn’t have. Let’s be friends again, alright?”

“Alright,” you said quietly.

“Now that we’re talking again, want to get out of here and away from the douchebag?” he asked.

“I uh, think I should go back in and try to salvage my career,” you said.

“Our producers know that Marcus was just saying that stuff to mess with you. I already talked to them about it,” he said.

“I’m just going to go home then,” you said. “I’ll uh, talk to you soon.”

You got a text that Jensen was in your lobby of your building the next day. You sighed and let him up, Jensen walking into your apartment a few minutes later.

“Hey,” he said, peeling off his backpack and taking off his sweatshirt. You glanced over at him for a moment before you went back to staring out the window on the couch. He was quiet as he came over and took a seat next to you, lifting up your head and letting it rest in his lap. “Y/N.”

“I’m sorry I was so mean to you,” you mumbled.

“Honey, we already talked about this last night,” he said, rubbing his hand over your head. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

You shrugged and buried your face in his leg, Jensen continuing to run his hand over your head gently.

“You must think I’m a joke,” you said.

“I think my best friend is hurting,” he said. “Rough week and all.”

“It’s not just a rough week,” you said, glancing up at him.

“I know,” he said.

“No. You really don’t. I get a certain way sometimes. It hasn’t happened in such a long time and now I feel like I’m slipping back into that place,” you said.

“I know,” he said.

“No. I’m saying-“

“I’m saying I get it, honey. I do. So I’m going to stay, alright?” he asked. You tilted your head up at him, ignoring how you must have appeared. Since when did he call you honey? And how could he possibly know? No one had ever noticed. Your whole life people thought you were happy and successful. They’d never realized part of it was a front.

But somehow this guy...he was looking down like you’d spilled every bad feeling, every bad thought, you’d had your entire life.

And he was going to stay.

“Okay,” you said quietly. Jensen hummed and moved his feet up onto the other end of the couch, sitting in silence with you.

You blinked open your eyes an hour later, stretching and curling your face into the warm thing that was next to your face. Jensen chuckled and you remembered he was there, it was his body that felt cuddly and nice beside you.

“Have a good nap?” he asked. You didn’t respond and he put his hands on your shoulders, sitting you upright. “How about some lunch?”

“I’m not all that hungry,” you said, rubbing your eyes. When you looked at him again he looked sad. “I guess I could eat something.”

“Good girl,” he said, kissing your forehead as he stood up.

“Jensen?” you asked while he stretched out, heading for the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Taking care of you?” he said gently. You scrunched up your face, opening your mouth a few times as you searched for the right words.

“Why?” you finally said.

“Because you’d be doing the same for me. We’re there for each other,” he said, smiling at you. “What would you like to eat? I’m cooking.”

“I don’t care,” you said.

“I’ll make something yummy,” he said. “Promise.”

“Hey, I’m going to head home if that’s alright. I can stop by before work,” said Jensen at the end of the day.

“You don’t have to,” you said. “Come check on me I mean. I feel much better.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Jens. Thanks for hanging out with me today. Really,” you said. “After the past week and everything...thanks.”

“No problem,” he said softly. “I’ll text you tomorrow sometime.”

“Thanks, Jensen.”

“Hey, Jared,” you said a few days later.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s up?” asked Jared from the other end of the line.

“You heard from Jensen lately?” you asked.

“Just saw him get dropped off at home about ten minutes ago. He said you guys are talking again. We were starting to get worried for a minute there,” he said. You hummed, Jared tsking you. “What’s up?”

“I haven’t heard from him since Sunday is all and he’s not responding to me. At all. I was...Sunday wasn’t so great for me. I’m kind of nervous that maybe he was just being polite and all and he doesn’t actually…want to be friends anymore. He won’t answer me,” you said.

“He’s been off all week,” said Jared after a moment. “He doesn’t want to talk about it, whatever it is.”

“So he doesn’t want-“

“No, I mean off like he’s sad about something. You know this stuff with Jensen. It’s all subtle. Why don’t you swing by his place, check on him. I’m sure he’d appreciate it,” said Jared.

“Are you sure he wants to see me? I don’t want to piss him off,” you said.

“I’m sure he does. Go see him. Try to cheer him up,” he said.

“Alright. Thanks, Jare.”

You’d been sitting in the lobby of Jensen’s building for ten minutes before the doorman finally waved you over and up.

“Sorry for the wait, Ms. Y/L/N. You can go on up,” he said.

You hummed and rode the elevator up, exiting and rounding the corner to a quiet hall, coming to a stop outside Jensen’s door. You knocked and waited, knocking again when you heard nothing.

“Come on, Jens,” you muttered. A minute later the door half opened, Jensen scowling at you. “Hey grumpy.”

“What,” he said dryly. You tilted your head, his hair ruffled and he wasn’t wearing a shirt as far as you could tell.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you had a friend over,” you said.

“It’s just me but thanks for assuming,” he scowled again.

“You just look...are you okay?” you asked.

“Dandy. I was trying to get some sleep so if you don’t mind-“

“It’s not even seven, Jensen,” you said. “What’s-“

“Could you just go away?” he said.

“What is your problem? Why are you avoiding me?” you asked.

“Go. Away,” he growled.

“No,” you said, brushing past him and into his apartment. You spun around, Jensen in a pair of sweats as he stalked over to you.

“Get out before I throw you-“

“Are you sick?” you asked. “You get grumpy when you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well you’re acting weird and-“

“Get out of my house!” he said, throwing up his hands. “Just stay away from me. Stop talking to me.”

“I...I’m sorry,” you said. “For Sunday. For everything. I knew you weren’t in a great place either and I’m sorry I leaned on you like that. I won’t do it again. I promise. We can still be friends. Can’t we?”

“You don’t even realize…” he said with a laugh, waving you off.

“Realize what?”

“You drive me insane sometimes, I swear. You date the douchebag from hell, you constantly think you aren’t doing well at your job and are beneath everyone else, you order the freaking salad every time we go out with other people and nobody eats the fucking salad for dinner, Y/N. You have one bad day where you got supported the way you needed and you think that was wrong? Like I don’t even know how to describe how infuriating that is and then there’s the-“

“Jensen!” you said, cutting him off, Jensen taking a deep breath. “What is going on with you?”

“Maybe it’s just a tad aggravating being your friend, you know. I need you a hell of a lot more than you need me,” he said. He took off down the hall for his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

You waited a moment for him to calm down before you tried the door, thankfully finding it unlocked. He was on his bed, pillow over his face. You took a seat on the edge, finding one of his hands and holding it. He tensed up, almost pulling away before he stopped himself.

“Why do you think I don’t need you?” you asked softly.

“You didn’t want me to check on you anymore,” he said.

“Jensen,” you said, giving his hand a squeeze. “I didn’t need you to come and physically check on me that day. That does not mean you can’t come over and do it if you want to though. I was only trying to say I was in a better place and I didn’t need it. I only got better because you were there for me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbled under the pillow. You tore it off his face, tossing it on the other side of the bed. “Just go, Y/N. I had a long day is all. It’s fine.”

“Yeah. You’re the epitome of fine, aren’t you,” you said. You stood up and went to his closet, grabbing a Henley and a clean pair of sweatpants off the shelf. You handed them to him, Jensen raising an eyebrow. “Go take a shower. You have fake blood under your chin and you smell like sweat. Go.”

“What-“

“Just do what I said, Ackles,” you said, shoving the clothes in his arms. He grumbled but stood and went to the bathroom. You waited until you heard the shower head turn on to head to the kitchen. He didn’t have much food but you found enough to whip up a few omelettes.

He left his bedroom about ten minutes after you sent him to clean up. He was still giving you the stink eye as he took a seat at the counter.

“What are you doing?” he said as you sat a glass down in front of him.

“My best friend feels shitty so I’m taking care of him,” you said.

“You’re so annoying,” he mumbled, taking a bite of his food. You left it at that, making sure he got some hot food in him, Jensen rubbing his eyes when he finished.

“Let’s watch a little TV before you head to bed,” you said.

He sighed but went to the couch without prompting that time. After cleaning up, you joined him, Jensen staring at you when you sat right next to him.

“Close enough?” he said.

“Uh huh,” you said, giving him a hug. He nearly pulled out of it but he finally relented and rested his head on your shoulder. “Hugs make everything better.”

“Can I be honest?” he said after a few minutes.

“Of course,” you said, Jensen sitting back some.

“I don’t know what I did wrong. I think maybe I was too picky but then I think I wasn’t. I mean, if you’re my best friend, you’d tell me what I’m doing wrong, right?” he asked.

“Sure. What are we talking about though?” you asked.

“What you said last week. Why I’m single. Do I just screw it up like how I overreacted? I mean-“

“I am so sorry I said that to you. I was trying to be mean for no reason. That’s all. Any girl would be lucky to have you,” you said. “Is that why you’re so upset? Jensen, you have got to believe me when I say I was lying. It wasn’t true. At all.”

“But it is,” he said, shaking his head at you. “I mean, you never even noticed.”

“Noticed what?” you asked.

“See?” he said.

“See what?”

“I like you. You never noticed,” he said.

“Jensen,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “Do you remember what Marcus said about you stealing people’s girlfriends? Do you realize why he was acting so inappropriate in front of you and your producers? He thought I was in love with you, Jensen.”

“Me?” he scoffed.

“Yeah, you. Dork,” you said, smiling at him. “I mean...Jensen. I like you. We’re best friends. It’s always been easy up until the last few weeks. Maybe it was so easy because I was always with someone else and now that I’m not...it’s harder to know where the friendship part stops...or if it stops.”

“Oh,” he said after a moment, giving you a nod. “I...I need a minute.”

“Okay,” you said. He stood up and walked over to the hall, pausing a moment.

“I think...I think you should go home and we can both sleep on it. I’ll stop over your place after work tomorrow,” he said.

“Alright,” you said, heading for his front door, waiting for him to get there to lock up after you. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope.”

“You will. Promise.”

It was almost ten at night and you weren’t sure whether to be pissed or upset. If he wanted to flake then fine. You knew you’d hurt him and he had every right to want to not talk anymore. He could have at least told you that’s what was happening though.

You were ready to crawl into bed when your buzzer rang.

“Jensen is here to see you,” said the doorman.

“Let him up. I might not send him back in one piece as a warning,” you said.

Two minutes later you were opening your door, Jensen smiling as you answered. He had his backpack and a bag in one hand, his other arm in a black sling.

“What…” you said, spotting a bruise on his cheek.

“Tried to do a stunt myself today. I sort of fucked it up if you couldn’t tell,” he said.

“Jensen…” you said, taking the bags from him. He walked a little slowly to your kitchen, pointing at the bag.

“Can I have that? It’s my dinner,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t call. My mom wouldn’t let me off the phone for freaking ever. Remind me to put you as my emergency contact at work in the morning.”

“Are you okay?” you asked, Jensen flipping open a styrofoam lid and digging in.

“Yeah. Just took a hard fall. Dislocated my shoulder. It’ll be fine,” he said. “My dumbass ego is bruised much worse.”

“We don’t have to do this tonight if…” you trailed off, Jensen shaking his head.

“To quote my mother, which is why I’m so late so blame her, I have a little problem with transitioning from friendship to relationship. Apparently my seventh grade girlfriend is something my parents still discuss,” he said.

“They do. What about,” you said, hopping onto the counter, giving him a moment to shovel some food in his mouth.

“See that girl, she’d been my friend since like first grade. She was probably my first real crush. She told me we were dating one day and I was like awesome. But that’s because it was cool to do back then and it didn’t mean much you know? Apparently, I told my dad I really liked this girl and blah blah and he asked if I’d kissed her yet. I was like, no, cause I apparently got this thing where I don’t like to take certain risks. Long story short, the girls they always thought I really liked, the ones I was friends with...I never wanted to risk more with them. Understand?” he asked.

“But you’ve had girlfriends,” you said.

“Yeah and some were friends first but not those friends that I like really trusted. Basically I was told to grow a pair and ask you out,” you said. “That was my dad, not my mom. Apparently I also talk about you so much, they already thought we were dating so…time to stop being shy. You want to do this?”

“You about had a meltdown last night and I just got out of a unhealthy relationship,” you said.

“That about sums it up,” he said, holding up a forkful of food to you. “This is really good. Want some?”

“No thank you. So one phone call with your parents and you’ve got everything figured out now,” you said.

“Had it figured out before but I was scared. Not anymore,” he said. “Today’s my lucky day.”

“Yes clearly,” you said, waving up and down at him.

“Could have been much worse. I say we dive right in head first,” he said. You closed your eyes and sighed.

“We should-”

The floor creaked just as you felt lips brush over yours, soft and slow, meeting yours for a long few seconds. You blinked open your eyes when it was over, Jensen smiling at you.

“You were right. We definitely should have kissed,” he said, cocking his head.

“Do that again,” you said after a minute.

He leaned in and kissed you again, not pulling as far away this time.

“The fact that I’m not as embarrassed as I should be for my behavior yesterday is saying something,” he said.

“You had a bad day. You’re allowed to have those,” you said.

“So are you,” he said. “And we had them and we were both there for each other.”

“You’re not a stunt guy,” you said, ghosting your fingers over his cheek. “Don’t do that again.”

“I’ll do my best not to,” he said.

“Promise,” you said.

“I promise,” he said.

“Good.”

He didn’t move away, only stood there watching you. You lifted your chin up, allowing yourself to get a good look at him.

“It’s late. Why don’t you crash here,” you said. “We can figure out the rest in the morning.”

Six Months Later

“You want to grab lunch?” asked Jensen at the end of the production meeting.

“Sure,” you said. You hopped up and we’re halfway down the hall with him when you bumped into Marcus.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, giving you a nod. “You look good.”

“Aren’t you that asshole from the party?” said one of the other producers, rolling his eyes as walked past.

“Anyways…” said Marcus. “I’ve got a job interview. Movie on the other end of the lot.”

“Good for you,” you said.

“So things didn’t pan out with me and what’s her face. I think the long distance thing was wearing on me, us both, and we both said some things we didn’t mean back in the day,” he said.

“Oh,” you hummed, Jensen biting his bottom lip to stop from laughing.

“I’ll be in town for a while. Maybe you want to try again?” he asked.

“Sorry. I sort of have a boyfriend. One that doesn’t cheat on me and doesn’t speak to me how you did,” you said.”Apparently I’m also pretty. Guess what? Girls like to be told that. A little advice for next time.”

“This dick? He’s out of your league,” said Marcus.

“I’m out of hers to be honest. But it must be lonely playing tee ball all by yourself huh champ?” said Jensen with a smirk. “Next time you disrespect her like that again, I’d watch out. She really doesn’t like you.”

“Goodbye, Marcus. Good luck with your interview,” you said, grabbing Jensen’s hand and walking away.

“That was tamer than I was expecting,” he said.

“Oh, the idiot put me down as a character reference. They called a few days ago,” you said.

“What’d you tell ‘em?”

“He’s a pretty good AD. I left it at that and avoided the character questions. I’m done with him,” you said. “Where do you want to go to lunch?”

“Want to grab a bite down the block?” he asked. You hummed and followed him outside, walking there on the fall day. You were almost off the set when you saw Jared run up to you both, a big smile on his face. “Yes, you can come, Jared.”

“Where we going? I want a burger,” he said, taking off in front of the two of you.

“Well lead the way then, buddy,” teased Jensen, running his thumb over the back of your hand. “You’ve been talking about getting a puppy. This is what it’ll be like you realize.”

“Yeah but a puppy is cute and fluffy and actually you may have a point. At least this puppy we can return home at the end of the day,” you said.

“I can hear you two,” muttered Jared.

“Yes you can! Good boy,” teased Jensen, Jared groaning. “Alright, alright.”

Jared walked a bit faster than the two of you, Jensen giving you a smile.

“We should have him over tonight, make that dish he really likes. He’s been off this morning,” he said.

“I noticed too. Ease up on the teasing some,” you said. “Or tease me. He thinks it’s cute.”

“It is cute,” he said, squeezing your nose. “Got your nose.”

“Dork,” you said, Jensen squishing your cheeks before he remembered you were in public.

“Sorry,” he said, a rare moment of shyness on his face. It’d been a while since he got that way with you anymore. He wasn’t big on PDA but it was nice to see him forget and act like a goof sometimes.

“You’re still cute you know,” you said. “I mean, no Ryan Reynolds…”

“Shut up or I’m making you watch Deadpool again,” he said.

“Not as much of a punishment as you think,” you said, bumping his hip with you own. “Cutie.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll admit it. I’m adorable,” he said, holding your hand. “Let’s grab some lunch.”

“Whatever you say, Jensen.”

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #au #rpf #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #flangst

[san-station]

A Quiet Place AU / ATEEZ (Post-apocalyptic)

Chapter 4

↝Word count: 5028

Description: In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they've heard about months ago.

Pairing: OC x San

WARNING: cursing, mention of death.

A/N: This is longer than I thought omg!!! Hope you like it~

・・・・・・・・

Zoom out in the end of the world.

The most beautiful dark blue sky above us resembled a surrealistic painting with all the stars gathering in their own shinny and sparkly sea.  When most of the lights of the world shut down, the light of the dying stars made us all company illuminating the obscure path in our struggle, they were our faithful guide through the days we survived in the vast woods, shimmering and testifying death, cries and love. It was sort of romantic if you could forget half of human race was gone and you could actually concentrate in finding some love life. But it was not the fucking moment, Joong. The night terrified me, it was, in the first place, the one that brought destruction on Earth with that wonderful meteor shower more than a year ago. 

I ran a hand down my washed face, my elbows were resting on the roof cornice and I was just admiring the incredible and mysterious view before me. I felt refresh, with no blood spots printed on my clothes or skin, but at the same time my guilt flowed through my veins spreading pain all over my pores, they were actually screaming "it's your fault!" every ten seconds, and deep down I knew it was. 

Jongho and Wooyoung sat on the wooden table from the basement where we had dinner five minutes ago, every couple of weeks we had dinner on the rooftop of the building so, we moved the table easily and soundlessly and ate like everything in the world was okay, just that it wasn’t. The place was decorated with some Christmas lights on the iron poles that created a false ceiling with vines, the outdoors made a familiar mood, we had an indoors garden in college and I used to stay there with Haerin after practices to meditate. A pile of wood was in the middle of the floor keeping the place heated with a huge bonfire for the nine of us. A blast of wind made my dark hair dance a crazy and esoteric choreography on my shoulders while I took a deep breath. 

So… quiet… 

If we were outside, we’d need to talk through sign language to protect us from the monsters, Jin and Misuk taught us when they found a book for learning them in one of the places we stayed a long time ago. Quietness was the realistic manner to talk since there was no other way faster. Yeah, we could write something but it was useless in a live or die situation. We dominated the sign language after three months of hard work in the woods, communicating will always be the only way to understand each other fluently, so on the rooftop it was a must. The only sound around was made by the fire flares.

A whole warm palm rested on my left shoulder, I jerked upright in surprise and veered to face Yeosang’s eyes. My eyebrows knitted as I was already stepping aside. Yunho’s legs swinged above the building’s cornice as he counted the stars in his mind, from time to time he grimaced. Hongjoong was at the other corner of the rooftop next to San, they were talking in signs about today’s argument but I looked away, not wanting to think about it anymore. Yeosang was starting to move his hands.

“I haven't been thinking straight lately, to be honest…” he began slowly. My deadpan expression stiffed him and started again. His brown eyes pierced mine with sadness and guilt, I can't lie if I said it wasn't killing me inside. 

“Ji, I just want to apologize, ok? Give me a moment...” I stared at him for a few seconds, I scanned his face and took a mental picture of his features. He was freaking handsome, and I never realized it, not even when there were a lot of people crushing on him in college. Perhaps Yeosang was the little man with an ice heart that took the whole Misuk’s death deal as a misogynist, or it could be just me being such a bitch for taking care a little about our murdered friend as a personal thing, but it actually was a personal thing. Not only for me, for all of us. 

Well, maybe not all of us.

“Misuk was a good friend and I know we’re all gonna miss her, but life goes on, don’t you think?” he added with a final little smile, he was begging, I could feel it. 

“You’re not making it any better” I signed and glanced at Seonghwa going over Wooyoung and Jongho to thanked them about the food. Wooyoung winked at him and signed some kind of joke I couldn't catch.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what do you want me to say…” He lowered his head and I left out a sigh. The anger faded away from me, Yeosang was a good man, I knew that, he was also intelligent and reasonable, so he was right. After our death, the world will keep going, so is everybody’s life. The pain will remain for those who had a strong bond, but life goes on and on, we managed to do it after all as our normal lives vanished progressively in front of our eyes. 

My right hand reached Yeosang’s jaw and made him look up with wide scared eyes. 

“Don’t worry…” I gave him a little smile while my hands moved, “life goes on, right? Just don’t be so careless when I die” then, I patted his shoulder and turned again to my main position, maybe I would see a shooting star and wish for all of us to wake up from this nightmare.  Yeosang opened his mouth astonished and articulated “shit” while he walked away and sat next to a happy and full Mingi and a smiley Yunho on the cornice. Although they wanted to cheer us all with their cute smiles and jokes, deep down they were suffering as much as we exteriorized that and it broke my heart to see the masks they had to wear, not because they needed to, but for us to not worry more than we already were. 

After five minutes, we decided to go back to the basement. Seonghwa offered himself to clean the mess, like he always did. He liked things neat the way he wanted so no one opposed. 

    In the basement the air was thicker with San staring at me as he wanted to strangle me. His green eyes felt like shots that crossed every inch of my skin. As for the rest, Mingi was trying to make Yeosang sing a lullaby to sleep, Yunho was drinking with Jongho some beers and taking care of the little one as he cried Misuk’s death on the couch. Hongjoong and I were resting in one of the basement’s corners, the one that had our names engraving in the wood wall. 

      San’s eyes narrowed sharply when we made eye contact for the tenth time that night, and I, immediately, looked away. However, I could feel his gaze, judging every move I made ready to shout, or modulate the words “I told you so”.  The words never came. He just looked at me from his place, seated among the fire to embrace the warm flares of the little chimney inside the basement. Wooyoung came out of the bathroom, ran one hand through his parted blonde hair and sat between the mullet boy and me. 

"Yo, guys, I recommend you to use the other bathroom at least for tonight… I wouldn't enter that place, is a nightmare", he whispered dramatically shaking. I scrunch my nose as Hongjoong giggled. Wooyoung wrapped his arms around me and I melted into it. I needed comfort and he always cared about giving it to the people around.

“Little Jiyeong, give me a smile”, he croon in my ear and the hair in the back of my neck jerked. I shook my head. 

“I’m not in the mood, Woo, but thanks for worrying”, my fingers touched his strong arms around me, I squeezed them for a bit after Wooyoung let me go. 

“You know… It’s kinda tough the way you close yourself so much that even Hongjoong can’t pass through the walls”, he murmured. Hongjoong sighed and my body tensed as I looked away. It wasn't on propose, if I felt like it, I would get into that shell, built a wall between everyone and everything and would just stay there for a whole month if I needed to. Life wasn't fair because now I wasn't even allowed to zoom out in the end of the world, fuck this.

Wooyoung tilted his head against the the wall full of scratches created by the sharp point of the Swiss Army knife that Hongjoong had since we met. Hongjoong and Wooyoung started a conversation where I wasn't invited, or maybe I was, but my mind was in another place.

Suddenly, Yeosang approached to our spot and looked deep into my eyes, his features seem so tired and sharp it could cut me if I stared too much longer. He extended his hand to me, he had venous hands that used to play the guitar when we took a break of dance practices, I liked them, they were pretty captivating. 

I reached Yeosang’s hand and stood up with his help. From the corner of my eyes I could see how San stood up as well and walked next to us as Yeosang approached us to the room they shared. When we got inside the comfy and warm room, San closed the door and Yeosang told me to sit on his bed. I turned to see one mattress with light green sheets and a plushie on it besides the black sheets mattress next to the bathroom wall, so I rested on the corner of the light one and grabbed the plushie between my hands. Yeosang gave a quick and alarmed gaze to San, who only stood there with arms crossed over his chest and a annoyed face.

Yeosang started to speak softly. 

“I don’t want to talk about the elephant in the room, but we almost got kill twice because of him and his impulsives ways of getting Misuk’s attention…”, I bite my tongue to stop myself from interrupt him right away.

"And we think Jongho has to be inside for at least a month if we don't want him to go after what he thinks is left of Misuk's body", Yeosang continued after a soft sigh. My hands squeezed the plushie and San looked at it for a second after our gaze met. What was left of Misuk’s body….

"You know he can't be here for that long knowing we have to move and keep looking", I speak lowering my gaze to stare at the animal, it was a cute puppy dressed in white and light brown colors. I never got in their room before, I never had to. It smelled of sweets and kinda sour; walls showered with pictures of their love once, some pages of newspapers talking about the day of the meteor shower and more. The place scream for a little more of light, but they only had a cute lamp on top of the desk between the beds. It felt kind of cold, but at the same time the smell of San and Yeosang made it more familiar and cozy.

"We can manage to look for ourselves, Jiyeong", San rolled his eyes and sighed, his cheekbones popped out due to the lack of light and he seem so tired and sleepy… not that I worried about it, though.

"If you wanna tell the poor heartbroken boy to stay here instead of going out and help us to find the safe place we've been talking about for months, be my guest, San", I jerked up abruptly and motioned to go out of there, but San wrapped my right arm with his right hand a little too tight for my pleasure and whispered: "don't… we need to talk about this now." 

“He will only listen to you or Hongjoong, but Joong also thinks is the best for him if he keeps helping us”, Yeosang was now inches away from my face, his gaze looking deep into my soul while I looked between him and San. 

“My answer stills the same, guys. A friend just died, we can’t hold people down just because they could be a little disturbed about the news”, I spatted and threw the plushie to its bed.  

“And then, make us all kill”, the dark hair boy spoke almost in a whisper but he knew we heard him.

Yeosang groaned and straightened his back, his eyes now piercing mine, barely painfully.

“Maybe someday you’ll realize that every single mistake has consequences. Her death is on you, Jiyeong. This could slow us down a couple of days and-”

“A minute ago you were sorry, now you’re an asshole spitting shit at me like if I wasn’t aware of what just happened. I was there, you idiot...”, I interrupted him with sharp voice and clear the lump that was starting to form in my throat. “If this is gonna be our routine, don’t talk to me again, Yeosang.”  

 He stepped back, eyes a little shocked and taken by surprised. Then, he muttered “This is gonna be all your fault, Jiyeong” and left the room with rage, leaving me with the devilish boy. I looked down at San's hand and he let me go, although my skin was burning from the contact and it started to inch. I didn't back off, neither walked out of there. Yeosang was mad again and the last thing he probably wanted, was to see me around. San was staring at me so determined that I felt the need to hold his sharp gaze, unwilling to back down till one of us won the battle, it was a war between air and a strange connection we couldn't cut so easily. The right side of his lips turn up, a bit amused. Seconds later, he grasped his throat and lower his gaze. 

"I'm sorry", I was taken aback by the statement, I’ve never heard San apologizing, not even when he bumped into Lucas while dancing and almost ruined the performance; not even when Seonghwa prepared a full plate of healthy breakfast for Yeosang because he needed the energy to go haunting and San ended up eating the half of the food thinking it was for him. Not even when he and Jin were fighting and, as the dance class tried to stop them, San misstep in the congestion of hands and bodies and fell on top of me, causing me to have a sprained ankle that held me for two weeks.

 What the fuck was that? 

"What the fuck…" I murmured, making San scoff and rolled his green eyes. His lips almost showed a smile, almost.

"I know, right?", our shoulders brushed as he walked next to me and sat on the light green bed, taking the plushie between his hands. "I know the things I say hurt… but you know I'm right. Although, Yeosang is just mad at you as we all are. Not because all of this is your fault, we’re mad because we care about you."

I sat next to him.

"Keep going", I said, encouraging him to continue, somehow I was enjoying this. 

He huffed and turned his face to see me, now he was smiling. I lowkey missed his smile, it was beautiful to be honest; on stage, he used to smile when people screamed his name, he vividly enjoyed the attention he was given but after not being able to fully express yourself with no more than your hands, you'll close yourself up… we all did. 

"When you guys returned, I'm not gonna lie…", he sighed as his shoulders relaxed a bit. "I was kinda mad at you for taking such a stupid idea and I know I can't make you think clearly once it's stuck in your brain." He wasn't wrong, my stubborn ass liked the ideas I had, sometimes they were the worst choice I would ever do, but they worth it… didn't they?

"You were three hours late, Ji… Jongho, Yunho and I were just ready to look out for all of you if it wasn't for Joong and his trust on you. You’re so stupid...", he then spatted a little harsh. Where was that smile again? I cleared my throat and looked at a specific blank spot on the floor.  

"And after all, here I am, right?", I shrugged and gave him a little smile with sad eyes. Yeah, Misuk's death was pretty bad but they were right, we had a purpose, we needed to fulfill it as quick as we could. 

Suddenly, I felt San's strong arms around my shoulders as he hide his face in my neck. I tensed up and panicked inside. That kind of gestures never happened before,  we never hugged… never. Was he really that worried? 

“I’m so mad right now…”, he whispered as his arms tighten around me. “What if you guys were gone by now and the last thing I did was yell at you for being so stubborn? I will never forgive myself…”

"San, that's because you're an asshole…", I chuckled lightly, he stayed silent. "And it's okay… we're gonna be okay", my arms wrapped his waist and he pulled me closer. His whole body radiated warmth, his soft and calmed breathes caressed my sensitive skin and I shivered once again. "San…", I whispered as he run his hands up and down my spine slowly, my back was on fire now, everything burnt as if we walked next to the sun and the flames touched over my clothes, sticking them into my flesh and bones. It sounded painfully bad, but was extremely pleasant.

"I know you hate me, I hate you too…", he scoffed and let go off me. "But you can't just… die, okay?", he said in a smooth voice, almost endearing. That was weird, the frowned on my face tensed him and he looked away from my face to the plushie on the bed. He grabbed it and then mumbled: “At least not when we had an argument and you can’t apologies.” 

I softly chuckled and bit my lower lip to stop the word “asshole” from coming out, it was his nickname after all. I left his side and was about to walked out when his voice stopped me.

"By the way, can you not hold Shiber like that again? It feels he's about to die", he referred to the plushie in his hands and my throat got dry. Was it his?! Who the fuck is this guy?!

    “Right… Sorry, ‘bout that”.

      I left the room with my face slightly blushed. I let out a breath that I didn’t think I was holding, he’s an idiot. I past the rooms right to the living room and saw Seonghwa still washing the dishes. Yunho and Mingi were curled up at the sofa asleep, Hongjoong and Yeosang were nowhere to be found, and Wooyoung entered Jongho’s and Mingi’s bedroom to watch out for the younger boy. My impulsive self decided to slip my arms around Seonghwa’s waist and rest my cheek on his back. San made a point, what if the creatures would’ve heard us and none of us wouldn't’ have made it? The guys would’ve looked out for us just to realized how dead we would’ve been.. And just because Misuk and I wanted to collab a little more, so going and doing risky stuffs would give us a little more of the adrenaline we had near the house. And then was Yeosang... I knew the idea was mine and Misuk took it as a free pass to go outside the house limits. Our turn to go for supplies was changed when Jin died, so we had a whole month inside the limits and Misuk was being a pain in the ass. Would Jongho be like that if we locked him up for that long?

    “I’m so sorry…”, Seonghwa froze as the words left my mouth, I closed my eyes filling my nostrils with his viril scent and let myself embrace the warmth of his body. He was like a brother to me, we were the same age -as Hongjoong- and I felt closer to them than anyone else due to that one time when we had a performance together and spent a lot of time next to each other, eventually we became the best of friends. They helped me with my paintings, I helped them with any of the tasks they had in their music major. They knew that when I got clingy, something very bad was happening to me. 

“I should’ve listen to them and stay here, Hwa…”, I shut my eyes harder, it made me dizzy when the white spots appeared, but it kept the tears from falling, and no, I wasn’t in the mood for let them see me crying, it was really hard to keep it cool  though. “Why am I so stubborn…? Misuk would be alive if it wasn’t for me. I’m such a bad influence in here, you would be better without-”. Seonghwa turned around in a blink and covered me with his arms. 

“Shut up, Jiyeong, don’t you dare continue that sentence…”, he rest his head on mine while I hold him as close as I could. I held a large part of his shirt in my hands, wrinkling it and slightly holding it up so his back was a little exposed. Seonghwa apparently didn’t care about the cold air caressing his bare skin, he worried more about the tears that slowly wet the cotton cloth covering his chest.

“You are aware that we all made that decision, right? We all are part of this mess and yeah, if maybe you both wouldn’t have gone with me, Misuk would have been probably alive, or not. We don’t know that… Maybe it could’ve been me instead but... ”, he sighed. His hands started to pushed me even though I didn’t like the idea, so I grabbed him tightly. “Jiyeong, look at me, please”, his voice was, once again, as smooth and tender as always. Finally i jerked my head up and looked into his blue eyes.

“You just make those images of Misuk change into you being the one laying there, Seonghwa... “, a soft sob escaped my mouth and a could hear a door open followed by a couple of steps that stopped abruptly. 

“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, Ji…”, Seonghwa kissed the top of my head and, one more time, pushed softly for me to see him. My eyes were puffy and redness decorated them with a pink flush on my nose. 

“I may have been brave out there, I may have been all serious and mature, but you can’t realized how afraid I was…”, after a hard swallow, I liked my lips and sighed. “I keep hearing her flesh and bones being crashed by those teeth, Hwa.”, I sniffed and faced him for real. His blue eyes were a little glassy and he seemed sad, I know he wanted to be strong for the both of us, but man, that was hard. His thumbs brushed the tears aways from my cheeks.

“You usually locke your feelings because you’re afraid of being judged, we are in a place where we don’t have time for that”, no one will ever understand how Seonghwa’s gaze could make you zoom out of the place you were and feel so at peace. My breathing normalized progressively as my little sobs faded away. He felt familiar and comfortable. “If you want to cry, do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re alone, but it’s better to let all those feelings out there than keep them until you explode.”

“I feel… weak.”, his eyebrows knitted and he scanned my face looking for more answers. “I couldn’t help her and I let her go to that birdhouse, it was me...”, my fists lost their grip and I took a step back. “No one else can die like that, Seonghwa. We can’t let that happen.” The taller boy took a deep breath, which caressed my face after he released it. His strong hands grabbed my shoulders and made me stepped forward.

“You are strong, Ji, emotionally speaking. Maybe your body is not fit for lifting a car, but you are strong for lifting what was left of Jiyeong after those monsters left and bury her…”, he came closer and lower his forehead to mine, his hands lowered as well and we interlocked our fingers. Everyone who wouldn’t know our relationship could say we were dating, but that's the way we reassured ourselves that we were not alone. It was the same habit with Hongjoong. 

Another steps were heard and then, a door was closed a little too hard.

“I wanted to honour her life, at least keeping the rest that was left of her in a place where we could visit if we come over again…”, my head was spinning and I looked down to our intertwined hands, they were clean but hours ago they were just filthy with burgundy liquid, brown and wet dirt and my salty tears. We arrived sweating from all the dirt that we moved to bury Misuk’s body near the place she was killed, we told no one about it, except for Hongjoong because it was too risky and it wasn't easy as well to go all the way down the rooftop with a half dead body. 

“You are brave, you are strong and nobody can tell you the opposite, ok?”, Seonghwa grabbed my face between his hands and squeezed a little. That made me laugh for a second and I sniffed once more. He really wanted to motivate me, no matter how cheesy he was.

“Now, go to sleep” , he patted my head and gesture with his head to my bedroom. I hesitated for a second when I realized how cold that room must’ve been, should I sleep in there knowing that was the last thing I was going to do? Misuk’s scent when she was alive would mixed with his decomposed smell. My heart beated in my ears as a second lump reached my throat.

“Hwa… Could you…?”, I never finished the question ‘cause he was giggling at me. He put a hand down my back and leaded me to the bedrooms.

“Yeah, Ji. I wouldn’t mind the company”, he then stopped and went to the sofa, lifted a little the blanket that covered the two big boys and turned off the living room’s light. “I’ll tell Hongjoong to join us and cuddle as much as you want”

“I don’t… cuddle”, I mumbled staring the floor, a little embarrassed to admit anything.

“Hm… So, no cuddle”, he nodded deadpan serious and I open my eyes with some dramatically fear on them. 

“W-Well… Maybe I want to cuddle but fuck you tho”, I whispered while my fist collided with his chest.

    A grin showed up in his face and we walked to the room I shared with Misuk. Jongho was surprisingly there cuddling with San and Wooyoung. The three of them sleeping on Misuk’s bed made the scene more nostalgic than cuter. Seonghwa squeezed my shoulders and I finally grabbed my pillows heading out of there to enter Honjoong and Seonghwa’s bedroom. Hongjoong was there, listening some music from his iPod. When he saw us, he gave us a little smile and patted a free spot on his bed for us to lay down. 

    “I was waiting for you, and I must confess that I’m a scared of this power. Knowing you damn well will be the death of me”, he giggle as fast as his smile fade away. His face softened. “I- I didn’t mean that…”

    “Just shut up and cuddle, you big dumbass.”, I groaned and let myself get cosy with the mullet boy and the raven boy. They hugged my waist as I grabbed their arms and pulled them closer. That way, they met Morpheus a couple of minutes later, while my mind wondered and repeated the scenes from the afternoon. We were ready to move on a week later when we found out that the safe zone was pretty close. After five months of seeking for some help and finally acknowledge that the place that Jin found out a couple of days before he was attacked, was way up North through the deserted city, 10 or 11 miles from where we stayed. On foot, it was gonna take us three days with some break times in the middle, but the great news were that we were closer than ever. He would be proud. Him and the others that left our side in our crusade, we would finally reach Wonderland. Perhaps it was all a dream, some cheesy rumor for those who still had some hope inside their helpless bodies. And, yes, we were those with hope and helpless bodies ready to die for a rumor, fuck off. Desperate actions are made in desperate times.  

    “Try to close your eyes, Ji”, Seonghwa’s raspy voice alerted me when I was so self-absorbed by my one thoughts. “I know it’s hard but we’re here for you”, he closed his eyes one more time and tighten his grip on my waist. Suddenly, Hongjoong’s hand caressed the exposed skin of my stomach and whispered.

    “No one would harm you, not when we’re around”

    “You just quote Sweeney Todd?”, I asked with a grin in my face.

    “Goodnight, Jiyeong”, he smile and kissed my shoulder. 

    “Night, guys”

    And so, my eyelids felt heavy, my breath slowed down and soon after I was dreaming, dreaming about safety, a place where no one would get hurt or murder, a place where we would be happy and carelessly free. Well, those dreams would crash out pretty soon, but I wasn’t aware of that, any of us were.

(...)

Masterlist

#Ateez #Ateez Fanfic #Ateez fanfiction #Ateez Imagine #A Quiet Place AU #Ateez Hongjoong #Ateez Seonghwa #Ateez Yunho #Ateez Yeosang #Ateez San #Ateez Mingi #Ateez Wooyoung #Ateez Jongho #Ateez au #Ateez fluff #Ateez Angst #San x Reader #San #Fanfic #Adaptation

[mystic-scripture]

All the Angst and all the Dirty for Spendy pls

Sure, Sara make me horny and sad why don’t you.

For the Angst:

9. Have they made each other cry?

When they finally talk about Emily and what going to JJ did to Wendy’s head (see preview below), it makes them both cry, whenever one of them fails to see an emotional drag on the other causes issues. They are both very intellectually minded, so talking about feelings is hard for them. So when they do finally manage to break down each other’s walls, it is pretty emotional. 

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them. 

Wendy’s hands shook as she took the bottles out of the pocket of her bathrobe. Spencer’s eyes widened, his lips forming words he didn’t have the voice to say. She licked her lips before she spoke, trying to keep herself grounded. 

“What are these doing in my apartment?” She was afraid of the answer, but she needed to know. “And is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Avoi- I haven’t been avoiding you.” He ran his hand through his hair, averting his gaze from hers. “I just forgot they were in there, if you recall I had a bit to drink last night.” 

“Oh, oh I recall, you were escorted here because my place was closer.” Her hand clenched so hard, she could hear the glass of the bottles grinding together. “But seeing as you pride yourself on your Eidetic Memory, I doubt that’s true, so answer… the damn...question.” 

It was Spencer’s turn to lick his lip, his stance going rigid as she stared him down. “I-I was going to have JJ help me flush it. I’ve been having thoughts...and I didn’t want to put you through that again. I wasn’t going to use, but-” 

“You’ve thought about it and your answer was to go to JJ?!” She groaned,dropping the bottles to pull at her hair. “And not me? When I was the one to help you stop in the first place, you thought going to another woman was okay?” 

“I-I didn’t want to worry you,” His eyes pleaded hers to understand, searching for a way to talk his way out of this fight. “I know things have been hard for you since Emil-” 

“How would you know how hard things have been for me? I’ve barely even seen you at work let alone here.” She shoved at his chest. “You’ve barely even touched me since the hospital and you have the gall to tell me how I feel?” 

“Wait, are you mad at me for not being here?” His hands steadied her before she could pull too far away. “For giving you your space when I knew you needed time to figure things out? I thought you were the one pulling away from me.”

“God for a second just think with this,” she snapped her hand away, jabbing a finger at his chest. “And get out of that stupid, big brain of yours! How could I possibly have been pulling away from you? My body language, speech patterns, even the way I’ve looked at you the past few weeks has been screaming for you to notice me!”

“But you didn’t, and you’ve been adding insult to injury by seeing her.” Wendy gulped down the venom forming in her words. “And you will never understand what that did to me.” 

11. What causes them to fight? 

They get into little debates about things all the time, but all out fights? Honestly, Wendy lashes out when she gets insecure, usually about JJ or other girls. Reid tends to into fits of ‘I’m angry because I care’ rage toward her about taking care of herself. They also get pretty pissed at each other when one of them decides to be reckless on the job.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

No, Wendy does her best to avoid it while keeping informed, but every now and again, Reid will go on a factoid tirade which usually ends up stressing Wendy the hell out. She knows they are necessary, but as long as she didn’t have to partake in them, they were a far away necessity. 

13. Name something they would never do for the other person. 

For? Not much, there’s a lot they would do for each other. Heck, Wendy has nearly died from Anthrax for/with him, and he took a bullet to the knee for her. Of course this causes them to get made at each other for being stupid, but they are very much an “I jump, you jump” couple. 

14. What would be a dealbreaker?

Lies. Wendy has had to deal with so many lies in their job and in her life, she can’t stand it. And Spencer, well we saw what happened when JJ lied to him given how close they were.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

It kills Wendy that he is such a technophobe, like technology is her life, and it’s what got her into the FBI to begin with. Also, she is a bit of a neat freak, so when he scatters things about when they are working together she gets a little punchy.

With Spencer, he can’t understand how stubborn she is in spite of any facts he throws at her. It doesn’t matter how many books or articles he’s read on the subject, once her opinion is made, there isn’t much that can change it. Also, he doesn’t understand how she can be so tidy, his brain works too fast to clean as he goes, but she is so freaking meticulous? Sometimes it scares him. 

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

While it would be hella awkward having to revert to their friendship, they are friends and coworkers first. They will always have tremendous respect and want the best for each other. 

For the Dirty:

25. What moves do they know work on the other? 

As soon as Spencer does anything to her neck or earlobe Wendy is done, and he knows it. Also whenever he pulls on her hair to guide her somewhere. Wendy meanwhile, takes great pride in knowing his need to be in control, and will give little noises or attempts at dominance just get him a little more riled up. 

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

Honestly? The dichotomy of it all, the sweetness of everything they do in spite of how rough they go about it. And Spencer makes damn well sure that Wendy comes at least once, a lot of times before him. Wendy likes to watch him come undone, stroking his face and maintaining hella eye contact. 

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

Spencer is totally a Dom, and Wendy is happy to be his sub. Choking, hand binding, and shibari are shared kinks. Also, Wendy in JUST one of his dress shirts or cardigans drives him nuts, and for her, there is something about the muscles in his back that just does it for her.

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

 “I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Wendy gasped, pulling him by his tie for a hungry, lingering kiss. “Literally any of them could walk in on us Or worse, hear us.” 

“Then I guess you’ll just have to be quiet.” He murmured, spinning them to pin her against the door of the Jet’s bathroom. 

He smirked as she let out a small gasp, but nodded. His hand took her wrists in his as he ravaged her neck, kissing and licking his way down the opening of her dress shirt. She trembled, biting her lip to keep the moans from coming out too loud, glaring at him. She knew he was doing this on purpose, that he wanted to see just how far he could go and keep her quiet. Her wrists struggled against his grip, her hips dipping towards him when he pulled away.

Chuckling lightly, he let her go, hands going to the zipper of her skirt. Her hands roamed, his sides, dipping to his belt that she made quick work of. Opening the zipper, she dipped a small hand to palm him, releasing a surprised growl from Spencer. Her pink lips formed a satisfied smirk and she bit her bottom lip. 

“And you were worried about me...” She teased, using her other hand to wrap around his neck to pull him into another kiss, biting his lip harshly. “You sure you can manage it, Doctor?” 

Her mocking him, mixed with what her hand was doing almost undid him there, but he grabbed her hips, pushing her into the door with an audible bang. Her eyes opened, and a startled noise formed in her throat, but he quickly shut her up, kissing her roughly, and using the opportunity to gain entrance with his tongue. His hands moved to cup the back of her thighs and she hopped out of the pool of fabric that was her skirt to wrap around him. 

Soon, his pants and boxers followed, and her underwear was twisted aside. He adjusted slightly, making it so that he pillowed her head with one hand, and held onto her with another. Wendy took the hint and placed hands above her head, pushing against him and bracing herself on the door. Looking into his eyes, he taunted her, teasing her entrance. 

“Keep talking,” He ordered, backing away when she tried to meet him. “We’ll just see who can manage it.”  

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

Spencer takes his time roaming her body with kisses, and keeping her pinned, the inability to touch him drives Wendy crazy. Wendy will bite his lip, or tongue during heated kisses and go to pull away all innocent like. 

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them. (kind of not really, just Wendy being a brat)

“Comeon Dr. Reid, what’s the matter? Afraid you can’t handle it?

“You have no idea what I can handle, Little Girl.” 

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Aside from a second or third round? Snuggles, just laying there in the afterglow until one or both of them falls asleep. Wendy traces patterns on his chest while he threads his fingers through her hair.

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Uhm...Yes. Most mornings end up getting interrupted with their job though.  

Send me a ship and numbers! 

Wendy Tag: @abbyarcxnes @perfectlystiles @raging-violets (sara asked, no need to tag her) @foxesandmagic @anotherunreadblog @curious-kittens-ocs @darknightfrombeyond (Missed you or want to be added? HMU!)

#wendy asks #spendy asks #good lord I'm bad at smut #spendy smut #Fic: Prolific #fd: criminal minds #Wendy Durant #asks answered