#ned’s bedtime stories
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you're genuinely missing out if you don't read stede as having a funky superpower that protects him from the horrors of the world when he's being true to himself and deserts him when he tries to emulate the idea of a man the world wants to impose on him.
he defeats the badmintons without trying because they're bullies and they're just plain wrong all the time. they attack everything that makes stede lovely: his tender heart, his love of soft things, his beautiful body. they mock him and they hurt him and they die for it practically without stede having to lift a finger. the narrative avenges him.
he bewitches ed body and soul without realizing he's doing it, just by being himself, because he's funny and sweet and he gets ed's love for the bit and he's the first person who's happy to join in on his silly games. also because he's kind and generous and an absolute bitch, and because he makes ed feel safe to let down his armor around him, which is the thing ed wants most in the world. and so ed rescues him from the firing squad, because stede's unwittingly earned his devotion.
he turns the crew's opinions about him around in a few weeks by telling them bedtime stories and doing the voices for them without shame, like they're his kids. he comes up with fun activities for them, encourages them to talk about their feelings and offers to share his books with them (not his clothes tho. he's silly and oblivious and a spoiled only child after all). so by the time the british show up they've started thinking maybe things are better this way, maybe stede's showed them a better way of living (olu knew all along because he's soft and smart too), and they rally to defend him.
he defeats a much more skilled and experienced swordsman by thinking on his feet and being whimsical, throws izzy off his game by smacking him in the ass with his sword instead of stabbing him because he knows he can't win, so he comes up with a tactic that has the most chances of success for him in the moment.
he rescues the crew from zheng's ship by knowing about chamomile (sure, jan) and being the congenial towel guy. he rescues the crew and everyone else again from ricky and his goons by making them play dress up, and it works!!!! (minus that one exception, you know). he has the situation under control with ned's gang within minutes just by listening and paying attention to the way they feel about him and his treatment of them. he knows exactly what to say to turn them around, compliments hellkat maggie so deliciously because he's a charming bastard at all times.
but he's lost the magical protection of his whimsical stedeness by turning against himself by the time he's picking a fight with zheng. he's spinning with unresolved trauma and heartbroken and probably exhausted and hangover by the time she tries to poach olu, jim and archie, and then she insults ed (not cool, girl), so he lashes out. he's not defending or protecting anyone this time, not his crew nor ed nor himself. zheng isn't a bully or a villain, she hasn't attacked anyone, only accidentally hurt his feelings. he's lost sigh of the goal that's driven him since the beginning of season 1. there's no ed by his side and he isn't running towards him, he's not working to make a nice, safe world for the people he loves either.
he felt attacked by low the previous night for not measuring up to the ideal of a man and a pirate that's constantly being dangled in front of him, and he triggered his most painful memories by killing him the way he did and then refused to deal with them, chose to overcompensate and throw himself wholly into pursuing that ideal instead. and this is the price he has to pay: his crew wants to leave with zheng and she humiliates him in public and kicks his ass (very cool, girl). every trick he tries to pull fails, like a wizard that's been cut off from his magic.
it's not until he's reorganized his priorities the next morning and he's back to being stede that things turn around for him (but not until he's near ed again, zheng still has to rescue him from the two british soldiers he tries to ambush). and even then he's not a perfect fighter, can fend for himself but needs help to pull his sword out of that one guy so he can run towards ed. and it's so important that he needs help and that he gets it. it's been stede against the world his whole life, and now he finally has allies and friends and a lover who will support him and fight for him.
#hello????? I'm crying again if you care#ofmd#ofmd meta#stede bonnet#alex watches ofmd#i love this bitch!!!!!
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Robb Stark*Cant Catch a Break
Pairing: robb x f!reader
Word count: 1223
Warnings: making out, sneaking around, almost oral, handjob, getting caught, slight begging, teasing, horny desperate robb, angry mother
Masterlist Here
a/n: i promise i'll have some requests up soon i just am struggling with one of them the now so its taking me a bit plus christmas etc but enjoy some horny robb i wrote at 2 am
Ned and Catelyn had intrusted their eldest with the most important task ever. Babysitting the kids. As Robb waved goodbye to them as they drove out the driveway your headlights switched on a street back when you got the ‘they’re gone’ text. Hey, you had to seize the opportunity.
“Hey,” Robb grinned as he opened the door, deliberately leaning on the frame to show off his arms not that you were complaining.
“Hi,” you grinned back as you leaned up to kiss your boyfriend, ignoring the loud ew Arya gave as she walked past, “Do I not get to come in?” you pouted.
“I suppose you can,”
“Oh, you do?”
“Yeah,”
“On what conditions?”
“A kiss,”
“How about more than a kiss?” you teased as you kissed him again.
“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbled against your lips.
“Whereas I’m going to kill myself if you two don’t get a room,” Jon grumbled as he walked down the stairs as Robb finally let you cross the threshold.
“Good idea Jon,” Robb smiled obnoxiously as he grabbed your hand, “You know where to find me. Now forget,” he said as he pulled you along up the stairs with him.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be babysitting!” Jon yelled.
“We’re not babies!” you heard Rickon yelling in the background as Robb pulled you into his room.
Usually in his snaps or video calls it was a mess but today it looked passable, “Oh you cleaned for me, how sweet,” you smiled as he closed the door, pushing your back against it as his lips dangled just above yours.
“What can I say? I’m a gentleman,”
You laughed as your hand snaked up to the back of his neck, “Its just a shame I don’t plan on acting very lady like,”
-
Usually, you loved Robbs siblings but if one more knocked on the goddamn door you may just combust. Sansa had come complaining about Arya hogging the tv which meant Arya then came to complain about Sansa being an ‘air head’ for watching reality tv which resulted in Robb going down to tell Jon to deal with it. Jon however had also been up about four times to ask dumb questions like where the batteries were or if you wanted any pizza put on or any other excuse, he could muster to ruins Robbs evening with a shit eating grin.
“Where were we?” Robb asked as he all but slammed the door after helping Jon figure out the oven.
He crossed the room to where you sat on the edge of his bed. His lips quickly found yours as he moved you to lay down on his bed. “This is better,” he teased as his lips moved to your jaw, kissing down your neck as his soft hands slipped under the thin fabric of your top which he’d tried to get off at least three times already.
As his hands cupped your tits, squeezing slightly making him groan against your skin there was a soft knock on the door. Robb groaned so pathetically you wondered if he’d cry, “What?” he called.
However, Rickon took this as come in which he did making Robb quickly shoot up to be kneeling over you as you fixed your top as Rickon pouted, “Its bedtime,”
“Goodnight little man. Close the door on your way out,”
“But story time,”
“Get Jon to do it,”
“But you always do it,”
“So, it’s his turn,”
“but you’re better at it,” Rickon whined, stamping his four-year-old foot with a pouted lip.
You sighed as you looked to Robb, “Cmon how long can it take?” you whispered.
Robb sighed as he looked down at you, “But we were gonna…you know,” your head turned to Rickon then back to Robb and the look you gave him was enough, “Okay fine, c’mon Rickie,”
“What were you doing on top of her?” Rickon asked as he padded out the room, Robb quickly behind him to tell him never to repeat what he saw with the promise of candy.
-
You were straddling his lap as his head rested against the headboard. you had finally ditched the t-shirt leaving you in a cute bra and skirt as you grinded against Robb’s painfully hard bulge through his strained sweatpants. Thankfully the sweatpants were the only thing left on him. His hands had moved under your skirt, grabbing your ass as you tugged on his curls making him moan into your mouth.
Your lips moved to his jaw, kissing down his neck, “What are you doing?” he half groaned as your hands roamed his abs as your lips moved to his chest, kissing all the way down his torso.
“Can’t say you haven’t earned it,” you grinned, shuffling back as your hand moved to palm him over the fabric of his trousers making his head roll back, “Unless you want me to stop,” you teased.
“Dear god don’t stop,” he groaned as your hands toyed with the hem of his waist band. “You wanna hear me beg? is that it?” he asked, his desperate eyes searching your teasing ones.
“Maybe, could be kinda hot,” you teased as your hand slipped under the fabric to take hold of his hard on making him moan softly. Your hand wrapped around it, stroking it softly, “I like it when you’re all desperate,”
“Fuck please baby. I really am desperate, so fucking desperate please,” he said as your hand sped up slightly.
You grinned as you leaned down, moving the fabric away painfully slow to reveal his hard cock already wet with precum. You leaned down to place a kiss to his tip, Robbs hand moving to rest on the back of your head as your tongue poked out to lick it when suddenly the door slammed open, banging off the wall as laughter rang out.
You shot up as Robb quickly pulled up his sweats and jumped out of bed, accidentally pushing you on your back in the process, “Bran I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Robb screamed as he chased his cackling brother down the hall as you scrambled to pull your top back on and run after him to stop murder.
As Bran bolted down the stairs, Robb soon after him, and you just reaching the top of the stairs the front door swung open to reveal a once happy looking Ned and Catelyn. Their faces first turned to shock as Bran ran into his mothers’ arms still grinning like a Cheshire Cat then to confusion, then you felt Catelyn’s eyes fall on you and then quickly turn to Robb in anger.
Meanwhile Ned put the pieces together slightly slower before muttering “poor kid,” under his breath as you quickly rushed down the stairs.
“I’m just gonna-“you said, pointing to the door which you were soon heading out of, “yeah. Bye Robb, bye guys,” Cat watched you leave with a fury and Ned with a sorry glance.
“Wait but-“ Robb said, trying to reach out but you gave him a sorry look as you left the house, hearing him sigh and go, “Aw man!” he said before muttering, “I can’t Catch a fucking break,” making Cat cross her arms and Robbs life suddenly flash before his eyes. One thing was for sure though. He was going to kill his brother.
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#robb stark x reader#robb stark#robb stark imagine#robb stark smut#game of thrones smut#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones imagine#asoiaf smut#asoiaf#modern robb stark#modern robb stark smut#modern robb stark imagine#modern robb stark x reader#kinktober
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a fairytale all our own
@snowstoneweek
When Jon finally takes to the stairs that will take him up to his chamber, he’s beyond exhausted.
It has been a long, trying day of meetings and arguing. There was a land dispute between two of the Lords and it had come to blows the day before between them, leaving one with one less ear than he’d started the fight with. Jon sighs, thankful that the day was over and thankful that they had finally come to a resolution, even if it had taken all day.
As he approaches the door to his room, he pauses before he reaches for the knob for from inside he hears a softly speaking voice. Quietly as he can, so he can’t disturb the occupants, he pushes open the door a crack simply so he might peek inside. And there in the grand bed, with three children snuggled around her, Sansa sits propped up against the pillows, a book open in her hands. “And then…” She’s reading, her voice lyrical as she tells the story from the pages, the story one he remembers her reading often when she was a small girl. “The princess gasped as the prince rode through on his beautiful white stallion, sword in hand, all so he could save her from the evil king!” At her left elbow, even Robb listens carefully, though he had only just a few days before declared himself far too old for such nonsense, despite being but six years old. Then there’s little Lyanna, tucked between her mother and Ned, while her big, Stark colored eyes blinking sleepily as she surely tries to stay awake to hear the ending. And then, Ned is at her other elbow, reading ahead over his sister’s head, for he’s giggling at something there on the page his mother has yet to even read aloud.
Jon can’t help but stay there a moment longer, listening in on his family, something so precious to him, something so dear, that he can’t even put it to words. But he knows the story is coming to a close, so as Sansa reads the final page, he pushes open the door and slips inside, quietly as he can so as to not disturb them. But of course, Sansa’s eyes are upon him at once, knowing her she knew he was there all along. “Papa!” Lyanna’s sleepy vocals bring a smile to his face as he sinks into the available space at the foot of the bed.
“Father!” His boys cry in unison, scrambling over their mother’s legs to reach for him, and Jon finds himself laughing as they climb him like a tree. “Tell us about the fight Lord Royhe had!” Robb exclaims, having heard snippets of the conversation brought to Sansa and Jon early that morning.
“Your father is tired and it is well past your bedtime,” Sansa cuts in and both boys sigh dramatically, though they’re slipping off the bed without much hassle. Sansa follows after them, Lyanna in her arms, though the small girl leans over so she might kiss her father, earning one back in response and a little tug on one of her dark braids. Sansa’s eyes say it all as she casts a quick glance his way before she’s shuffling the boys from the room, only after they’ve both called out a good night to their father.
When the room is quiet and empty, Jon kicks off his boots and strips off his doublet, before climbing into the space Sansa and their children once occupied. He glances left and sees there on her side of the bed, the book she’d been reading from, so he reaches for it, unable to help but to run his hand across the well worn cover. Once glossy letters have gone matte with age and there’s a small tear at the bottom corner. Jon imagines Sansa as she had once been, a small girl tucked into the bed Lyanna now sleeps in, reading this very same book, dreaming of a prince she would hope to meet and love with all of her heart. He chuckles, recalling how he and Robb would laugh over such a dream, but even they had once sat up in bed listening to Catelyn reading to them from a book of tales, though it had been of the Dragonknight and his many fights for the realm.
The door opens again and in comes his wife, a smile on her lips. “Do they sleep?” He asks as she sinks down beside him, her body offering warmth and comfort as she shifts a little closer.
“They do,” she says with a laugh, thinking of Lyanna’s quiet snores before they had even reached her room. The boys had climbed into their beds without trouble, certainly asleep before their door had even swung closed behind her. She looks down at the book in his hands and chuckles, reaching for it, her hand running across the cover just as his had done a few minutes ago. “It feels like a lifetime ago when mother and father gave me this book,” she had been Robb’s age, a gift for her nameday that year, one of the only things she still has from those days so very long ago. To think that book she once read as she drifted off to sleep each night, she now reads to her own children… It was unlike any feeling she’d ever felt before. The fairytale life she had once wished for, hoped for, was certainly hers now, even if it had taken time to become hers. Once she had dreamed of a golden prince, but in truth, she had found no happiness at all in that prince. Rather, it had only been misery. Slow as it was, time brought her to who she was meant to be with, that gentle, brave knight who her father had promised to her. “I love you,” she murmurs as she leans her head in, placing it against his shoulder, her hand sliding over his atop the furs.
“I love you,” he whispers back, his chest tightening, the warmth he feels threatening to overflow.
This was their fairytale.
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Little Peter Parker hc’s!!
General:
•He either regresses to 0-3 or 4-6
•His caregivers are Tony,Ned and aunt May
•But he also has other people that take care of him a lot when he’s small,like Mj,Happy,Steve & Wanda
•Pretty much all of the avengers will not hesitate to take care of him tho
•His favorite stuffie is a monkey and he carries it with him absolutely everywhere
•The only people that know about him being a regressor are in his closer inner circle.It’s something he likes to keep private
•Before he told anyone about him being little,he used to absolutely neglect his sleep for it.At night he’d already be outside spidey-ing,and instead of napping in the afternoon he’d use it as his little time and watch cartoons and play
•But he told people and they helped him get a healthy schedule for it
When he’s 0-3:
•Absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs.
•The Land Before Time is his absolute favorite movie
•He’s fussy with food a lot.He drinks up bottles and eats food he’s familiar with without making much of a mess and behaving really good,but the second someone tries to feed him something he doesn’t know,he will be a mess.He closes his mouth shut,cries,and if he keeps being pressured he’ll throw a whole tantrum.It could even be food he already knows just in a different shape,nope,nuh-uh,he’s not eating that (in the end he’ll think it’s yummy and eat even more off his cg’s plate)
•Sometimes sleeping is very difficult for him.He needs lots of reassurance,kisses,cuddles,a warm bottle,a nightlight,a bedtime story or lullaby and his stuffie
•He also gets lots of bad dreams,so often less than half the night is spent in his own bed and the most of it in his cg’s
•He’s a curious baby,whenever something happens he’s gotta be there and see
•Sometimes walking can be a little hard for him,but he crawls absolutely everywhere (luckily he doesn’t know how to use his spidey powers when he’s that young…)
•He loves the ocean sooo much,so aquarium trips are a must!!
•Playground trips are always great too,that boy could play in the sand for hours in pouring rain and he’d still be all smiles
•Wherever he goes,his stuffie Monkey has to come with.It’s not a want,it’s a need.If it doesn’t come,he doesn’t either
•Loves Bluey!!His favorite episodes are “Bumpy and the Wise Old Wolfhound” and “Sleepytime” (Seriously tho,Sleepytime is the best episode)
When he’s 4-6:
•He’s a very creative kid,give him some legos and he’ll build an entire castle
•He likes to color!!Especially with crayons
•Still obsessed with dinosaurs.Although with this age range,he prefers to watch the jurassic park/world movies over the land before time
•Loves loves loves superheroes so much!He has an iron man Halloween costume that he wears like every day
•He’s a good kid,he doesn’t break rules…but he does like to push them a bit (a lot)
•Will randomly drop fun facts all the time,like “Did you know that Australia is wider than the moon?”
• And how could I forget,he is OBSESSED with Star Wars (Me too,Petey,me too)
•Has multiple lightsabers (thanks to Tony,these things are so expensive),his room is full of Star Wars posters,he has a massive R2-D2 pillow,and on Halloween he likes to dress up as Chewbacca
•Will also reference Star Wars at any chance he gets.Does anyone (but Ned) get it?No.Will he still continue?Absolutely
•Also,MOVIE NIGHTS.Like,every movie night it’s a decision between dinosaur movies and Star Wars,and believe me when I say that is a very hard decision.Sometimes he’ll just sit in front of two dvds for half an hour just to decide which one to watch
•Discovered that he can stick to things.Luckily he doesn’t know about the webs,but every now and then his cg will just hear giggling above them and when they look up he’ll just be chilling on the ceiling
I have so many more oh my god
#age regression#agere community#agere little#agere positivity#fandom agere#safe agere#sfw agere#agere boy#agere blog#agere caregiver#agere post#agerespace#age regressor#peter parker#marvel#marvel comics#marvel mcu#mcu peter parker#headcanon
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Sometimes (often) I think about the pure devastation Aubrey seemed to show when everything happened with Duck and the Pizza Hut sign falling. They had only known each other for so long, and there was already this like. Bond. That they've created with one another. Of course, with Ned as well.
But just. Sometimes I feel as if Aubrey hasn't had a lot of people to care about, and just the realization that one of the two people that she'd be spending a lot of the foreseeable future with was put in danger, nay, seemingly killed by her actions is just heart breaking. As Duck leaves the store, I imagine he just sees her like this. Sure he has a few cuts and bruises but he's fine. But we all know this well. She mumbles the words of having killed Duck, but he's right there. She cares so much about him, and for what reason? I think Duck has this thought sometimes, especially then.
Of course Duck has had people care about him, his family, Juno, the town in general, but like. I feel as if with Aubrey it's a little different. I don't think he's ever had someone care for him as fast as Aubrey seemed to, and just the pure reaction she has... I think it would be bittersweet for him in a way.
Basically, what I'm getting at is I think that Aubrey and Duck have a really neat found family relationship that makes me very happy. I had this dumb thought in my brain of Aubrey making Duck jokingly read her a bedtime story or some shit, I don't know why. I feel like that's what would happen at some point.
Maybe there's like a sleep over at the amnesty lodge and Aubrey is just like "I vote that Duck reads us a bed time story!!" Or some shit like that and then he reluctantly does so but it's in the most awkward way and there are, In Duck like fashion, a lot of uh's and um's in the mix.
Anyways that's my nonsense ramble for tn, look out for tomorrow's daily duck art :)
#duck newton#taz amnesty#the adventure zone#duck newton fan account#taz#aubrey little#ned chicane#taz spoilers#taz amnesty spoilers
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He[Ned] had a grim cast to his grey eyes this day, and he seemed not at all the man who would sit before the fire in the evening and talk softly of the age of heroes and the children of the forest. He had taken off Father's face, Bran thought, and donned the face of Lord Stark of Winterfell. -Bran I, aGoT
Bran's bastard brother Jon Snow moved closer. "Keep the pony well in hand," he whispered. "And don't look away. Father will know if you do." -Bran I, aGoT
Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who'd brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark's stern face and great dark sword. -Theon I, aCoK
The Lannister lord was strong-looking for an old man, with stiff golden whiskers and a bald head. There was something in his face that reminded Arya of her own father, even though they looked nothing alike. He has a lord's face, that's all, she told herself. She remembered hearing her lady mother tell Father to put on his lord's face and go deal with some matter. Father had laughed at that. She could not imagine Lord Tywin ever laughing at anything. -Arya VII, aCoK
Theon told himself he must be as cold and deliberate as Lord Eddard. -Theon IV, aCoK
[...] "My father never used a headsman. He said he owed it to men he killed to look into their eyes and hear their last words. And when I looked into Ygritte's eyes, I . . ." Jon stared down at his hands helplessly. "I know she was an enemy, but there was no evil in her." -Jon VII, aCoK
As he knelt to the block, the kennelmaster said, "M'lord Eddard always did his own killings." Theon had to take the axe himself or look a weakling. -Theon V, aCoK
He is an old man, Jon told himself. Fifty, maybe even sixty. He lived a longer life than most. The Thenns will kill him anyway, nothing I can say or do will save him. Longclaw seemed heavier than lead in his hand, too heavy to lift. The man kept staring at him, with eyes as big and black as wells. I will fall into those eyes and drown. The Magnar was looking at him too, and he could almost taste the mistrust. The man is dead. What matter if it is my hand that slays him? One cut would do it, quick and clean. Longclaw was forged of Valyrian steel. Like Ice. Jon remembered another killing; the deserter on his knees, his head rolling, the brightness of blood on snow . . . his father's sword, his father's words, his father's face . . . -Jon V, aSoS
"My blood price, he[Tormund] called it," said Jon Snow, "but he will pay."
"Aye, and why not?" Old Flint stomped his cane against the ice. "Wards, we always called them, when Winterfell demanded boys of us, but they were hostages, and none the worse for it."
"None but them whose sires displeased the Kings o' Winter," said The Norrey. "Those came home shorter by a head. So you tell me, boy … if these wildling friends o' yours prove false, do you have the belly to do what needs be done?"
Ask Janos Slynt. "Tormund Giantsbane knows better than to try me. I may seem a green boy in your eyes, Lord Norrey, but I am still a son of Eddard Stark." -Jon XI, aDwD
aw, gotta love that dichotomy of even ned's own adoring children, not just theon, knowing he had a cold and stern side as a lord, grim and frightening to enemies, always alongside the warm, laughing dad who told them bedtime stories, that nice side of ned which is the only part most of fandom wants to acknowledge. arya even reminded of him by the face of tywin frickin' lannister! this same dad who laughed off bran's disobedience climbing all over the castle like a monkey, who couldn't punish arya for using a secret sword behind his back, who didn't even want sansa to be a witness to his passing sentence on gregor clegane with mere words for his crimes, that same soft-hearted guy would have admonished 7yo bran for looking away from his first beheading, to toughen him up and make him into a man already. just imagine, for jon to be so certain of that, either he and/or robb must have looked away from their first beheading at bran's age and been sternly told off for it. (amab) children can't be allowed to have a natural human reaction to sudden blood and gore watching dad kill someone. gotta stamp that shit out right away!
striking the way jon always uses memories of ned to choose not to kill innocent people who had yet to do him harm, first with ygritte and then the old man ygritte urged him to kill, but also uses his noble father's example to prove his willingness to kill children with zero sense of contradiction. that has to be a reference to theon, right? ned's own experience (implicitly) threatening a child ward/hostage, which all his bannermen would be well aware of. sure, jon's right about the unnamed older man. ned wouldn't murder one of his own subjects like that, he owed no duty to the magnar of thenn and would likely find undercover work even more distasteful than jon did. but, ygritte, really? a wildling of the enemy people all northerners were taught to kill? i have to wonder. did ned really find more evil in the deserter's eyes than jon did in ygritte's, making him deserving of beheading? or is it just that ned could feel he deserved to dutifully kill every time he passed that eye contact test? his reasoning was that deserters were dangerous because they already had a death sentence for oathbreaking, therefore had no reason not to commit any other crime. doesn't that same self-fulfilling violent prophecy apply to all people born on the wrong side of the wall? when you've got nothing left in life, you have nothing to lose by attacking people on the other side. is theon being "cold and deliberate" at winterfell, even killing a man with his own hand for someone else's crimes, is that really so unlike a true son of eddard stark? how different is it from what ned could have done to theon himself to punish him for his father's crimes? (surviving) child-ward-hostages always "none the worse for it" indeed.
(also interesting how jon thinks of janos slynt when asked if he could behead a wildling child. janos slynt who had sinned against jon and ned, wanting jon dead since the day they met, exactly the same as anyone to be beheaded, no matter how young or innocent. can't question jon's willingness to behead anyone else once he's executed one awful guy. it's even funnier when we the readers know janos slynt's worst sin is baby-killing as part of his old job. killing royal bastard kids like jon, no less. jon gets to (unknowingly) kill a baby-killer and threaten children in the same book, using the baby-killer's death as precedent for killing someone else's children. guess that's all part of killing the boy to let the man be born, gotta be willing to kill any man or boy. neither prince theon nor lord commander snow could afford to look a weakling to their own men or enemies. uncle maester aemon helped finish all the work ned started turning jon into a hard, strong man.)
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf meta#asoiaf#ned stark#bran stark#theon greyjoy#arya stark#jonathan snowflake starkgaryen#wolf pack#he was his father's son. wasn't he? wasn't he?#two reasons i can't be a northern nationalist stark stan: 1. having never been up north in winter i am a weenie when it comes to cold#2. idt a clean behading works as a morality test#should we really compare stark beheading to bolton flaying and see it as a pure and sacred tradition just for being cleaner?#do y'all just not realize how hard is it is to behead someone w a giant sword? that you can ignore the sexism and ableisn and just think#theon (and robb w karstark) mustve done it freakishly wrong?#arya couldn't behead someone either. not just sansa (or bran).#her thing is stabbing and slitting throats not literally swinging a big blade like ned. and that's ok!#a humane execution method is kinda an oxymoron but idt any beheadee would be grateful for a personal messy killing by a kid as long as they#didn't enjoy it and felt kinda sad like ned afterward#even theon could pass that part of the test#do we not think roose bolton and rickard karstark could follow the old way too?#(c)lsb
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Orlando films and tv shows
- Pirates ofc
- LOTR and Hobbit ofc
- Carnival Row
- Three Muskateers
- Black Hawk Down
- Ned Kelly
- The Calcium Kid
- Troy
- Elizabethtown
- Kingdom of Heaven
- The Armenian Genocide
- New York I Love You
- The Good Doctor
- Zulu
- Bling Ring
- Romeo and Juliet
- Billie Eilish The World is a Little Blurry
- Gran Turismo
- Casualty
- Midsomer Murders
- CBeebies Bedtime Story
I won’t be watching anything to do with Billie Eilish or LOTR but I can definitely check out the others and add them to my films list if I like what it’s about!! ❤️
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A response to @/miniaturewizardstudentsworld in the comment section
Except the North still HAD stories (even if they were legends). They HAD the warnings and guardrails in place literally thousands of years later.
As said before these stories/legends became nothing but bedtime stories. What good are they to anyone if they have forgotten the true meaning behind them? Especially if these stories are told exclusively in the North. Granted it's better than nothing, but acting as if these stories have or had any greater purpose in the last millennia beyond scaring naughty children is a ridiculous stretch. Again, for all of their 'warnings' their guardrails became nothing but the dumpster for criminal scum of the realm and the Iron Curtain for the unfortunate Free Folk.
Even precious Ned did absolute jack-shit for the Wall, decapitated the horseman of the apocalypse and let the Watch fall into utter ruin, despite having a brother in the order. (x) Given your obvious bias, if it would have been a Targaryen to do so, one could only fathom how you would crucify them for it.
The only precaution Eddard speculated with his brother was potentially re-settling lords in some of the abandoned holdfasts near the Gift's mostsouthern border to serve as shields and reinforce the barrier against the few Wildings that managed to climb the Wall. However, later dismissed it because he was certain the lords wouldn't abide not even with the promise of land. (x)
The Targaryens had such bad Main Character Syndrome that they never BOTHERED to do ANYTHING like that to help prep for the threat (because obviously them just being there and knowing about the threat would be enough, obviously).
And a few Targaryens doing the bare minimum to prep for any kind of threat is nothing compared to generations of Northerners keeping the guard in place.
One could just as easily accuse House Stark/the North of 'having bad Main Character syndrome' believing 'them being there and knowing about the threat would be enough, obviously' as you accuse House Targaryen since they did absolutely nothing to let the other kingdoms know about the threat beyond their wall, let alone prepare. Not to mention anyone beyond the narrow sea. A task that should fall onto them, and only them, since THE NORTHERNMEN ARE THE ONLY REMAINING DESCENDENTS OF THE FRIST MEN, THE ONLY FOLK (besides TCotF and the giants) TO HAVE FACE THE OTHERS.
And yet, it's the East with its diverse cultures, religious cults and their respective tales of the Long Night, its heroes and prophecies that actively spread the word, try to ready the world and attempt to deliver some kind of manual how to defeat them (or at least determinate the reincarnation of the prophecized hero), while the few surviving annals of the First Men (which apparently have been translated by the Citadel's maesters, not by younger northerners generations) waste away in library beneath Castle Black, forgotten. One of them (R'hllor) has already played a more significant and consistent role in the war than the northerners' own Old Gods.
Unlike the andals and the Valyrians, the northern men –who pride themselves on being the descendants of the First Men– have absolutely no justified excuse to dismiss/forget about the Others as they do, and yet here we are. UNLESS one accepts that they aren't in any way or form superior to anyone else, are flawed, can and did get distracted and forget like any other folk or house. Otherwise one could also viciously condemn them for failing to ensure any detailed annals for the generations to come about them and how to defeat them. In fact, the only time the Night Watch might have actually served its purpose and fought the Others (or at least agents of them) they made sure that 'all records of [The Night's King] were destroyed and his very name was forbidden and forgotten'. As well as mock their saying "The North Remembers".
You contradict yourself by writing 'that they never BOTHERED to do ANYTHING (like that) to help prep for the threat' and have in your next paragraph that 'a few Targaryens doing the bare minimum to prep for any kind of threat'. Which is it? Did House Targaryen do 'nothing' or only 'the bare minimum'? Either way, you are simply wrong or very hypocritical.
As already stated the North has it's only street due to House Targaryen, it has been a Targaryen queen that has gifted the Watch her personal jewelry to pay for a new castle on the Wall and expanded the Gift to its double. It has been a Targaryen king who sent food rations north to minimize the mass suicides that accrue during every winter, it has been a Great Bastard who became Lord Commander, who later became the tutor of the Last Green Seer and it has been a Targaryen that served as leal and esteemed Great Maester at the Wall.
And these are only the deeds (infrastructure, food supply, leading and tutoring) that directly better prepares the North/NW to withhold the Others. What shouldn't be dismissed as well in the face of the threat are the Conquest and thus unification of the realm and all the humanitarian and progressive changes that followed, which worked towards a united peaceful realm and a higher living standard for the common people: infrastructure such as streets, clean water supply in the capital, laws such as The King's Peace, The Rule of Thumb, The Widow's Law, the abolition of The Right of the First Night as well as the radical and frantic Military Arm of the Faith and the foundation of the City's Watch to dispense the King's justice in the capital.
All of this is apparently 'nothing' or 'the bare minimum', yet the current northern generation is still worthy of praise simply because of Wall's construction and the Night Watch's foundation millennia of years ago by their ancestors. Their current state or the North's ignorance of the threat is apparently unimportant.
Where is the just as harsh criticism of northerners currently prioritizing petty wars during winter over all of them taking the threat more seriously? We are in the fifth installment and none of the northern Houses (besides some of the mountain clans) are even aware of the threat and the Night Watch's Lord Commander's efforts and struggles. Where is the outrage and proclamation of House Stark 'failing' for not being able to ensure a consistent food supply for their vassals and subjects that would put a stop to the mass suicides every winter?
It's always awesome to see stark stans screech how House Targaryen are imperialistic incompetent mad tyrants (and all the other big meanie buzzwords) on a daily basis, dismiss and belittle every positive change ushered in by it, laws written and executed by them or deeds. Some of them would even fulfill their ridiculously high expectations, if for once(!) the same moral parameters were applied for House Targaryen as the ones for House Stark. [example: stark stans have already dubbed Sansa stark as tHe eMboEimEnt 0f h0pE f0r tHe fuTuRe because they have canonized Sansa sending food north when she comes into power in the Vale, yet Aegon V doing the same is 'the bare minimum'/'nothing']
Alias House Targaryen is held to the HIGHEST expectations and modern standards, be it identity politics, laws of warfare, or how they deal with xenophobia in MEDIEVAL TIMES –which is all rendered even more ridiculous given how according to the same people every second Targaryen is Maegor The Cruel or Aerys The Mad King Come Again– yet the northernmen are forever deemed as having done the realm the greatest service through the Wall's construction and Night Watch's foundation.
You also have yet to answer my question: What should have house Targaryen done more? The Wall and the order already existed and were primarily the warden's business and –as said– there weren't any detailed annals to be duplicated and distributed. More importantly, by the time of the Targaryen's Conquest, the North had already forgotten and thus did nothing –but maintain the Night Watch so it served somewhat as a buffer between their lands (with the nearest to the Wall/Gift being abandoned) and the invading Free Folk– about the Others. They did absolutely nothing to spread the word, even though the realm being united could have provided the chance to do so, yet 'for the next full century after the Conquest, the Starks remained aloof from the royal court and disinterested in politics affecting the rest of Westeros'. There is literally nothing to suggest that the northernmen might have warn Aegon Targaryen –whose house's knowledge, magic, and dragons could and will be crucial for the fight– about the Others.
Ultimately the Targaryens tried to have Westeros united under them and were unfortunately overthrown after 300 hundred years, the same way House Stark had lost the North to their former vassals.
Not to mention the Targaryens proving they don’t deserve the IT because they apparently FAILED at doing the one thing they conquered a whole continent for just shows the hubris they have and that the prophecy was never about conquering but banding together to face the threat.
Quite frankly the double standards concerning House Targaryen and House Stark are exhausting. AGAIN one could just as easily say that the starks don't 'deserve' their position of power as WitN/KitN and Winterfell since they failed to i) maintain the Watch so it can actually hold its own against the Others and truly serve as shield against them, ii) documented and spread the word of the Others' existence beyond their borders as well as accuse House Stark of 'hubris', since there is no indication that their conquest over the north had anything to do with messianic prophecies or to ready the North for The Second Long Night but only with political ambitions and glory, especially if you actually bother to learn about house stark's rise to power and history (more on that later) iv) accuse Robb of 'hubris' (,/by) 'wasting' all the northern forces and most of the stock, being the first to turn his back on the Iron Throne and divide the realm by insisting on being independent. Yet, nobody writes lengthy posts on a daily basis about how Robb's death was 'the narrative's punishment' for 'prioritizing' his personal and political campaign over even listening to Osha's warning of the Others, unlike how Daenerys is crucified by the fandom and prophecized a similar fate for potentially(!) prioritizing her campaign to win the throne over immediately going north in the future.
In a previous comment you also wrote
The Targaryens couldn’t keep their shit together for 300 years. They were too busy fighting for the right to be the one on the throne to face the threat that they did basically nothing to actually prepare for said threat.
As always Stark stans are unmatched when it comes to insinuating that ONLY house Targaryen had struggled with establishing its reign, had succession wars and internal family conflicts (with cadet branches) and that house Stark somehow didn't even when history says otherwise and shows that house stark has an even MORE bloody history than house targaryen. They had succession wars, and internal family conflicts (with cadet branches) as well and, unlike the targaryens, struggled for power over SEVERAL MILLENNIA:
For several millennia, the Starks were not the uncontested Kings in the North. - awoiaf.westeros.org
Their dominance over the North is literally built upon the GENOCIDE of Those Who Sing The Song Of The Earth. House Stark, like everybody else, 'prioritized' establishing their utter dominance over their domain and beyond over consistently readying themselves and everybody else for the threat, whose very existence is tied to them. Their cadet branch Greystark rose in rebellion and House Stark extinguished them for it, the same way House Targaryen's cadet branch Blackfyre rose several times in rebellion and was extinguished too. House Stark also had their own versions (!) of A Dance of Dragons in their She-wolves of Winterfell:
Four may be widows of previous Lords of Winterfell, and one the current Lady Stark whose husband Beron Stark is dying from a wound taken while fighting Ironborn. There may be a House Stark succession crisis, a struggle for power among the ladies on behalf of their children - awoiaf.westeros.org
SPOILER: Starks 100 years ago
I was suggesting it would be nice to see the Starks in power, without the current disarray. But GRRM pointed out that things were not so good 90 years either, with a lot of Stark widows struggling for power, with the current lord dieing from a wound taken against some Ironborn. - source
And in the aftermath of King Edrick Snowbeard's reign:
Though Edrick is famed for a reign that lasted nearly a century, his rule in his dotage was increasingly erratic. Seeing this, many different factions tried to seize control of his faltering realm. The most obvious threats were from his own numerous—and fractious—descendants, but others took their chances as well, including ironmen, slavers from across the narrow sea, wildlings, and Northern rivals such as the Boltons.
It's truly incredibly unfortunate that GRRM seems to have no interest in dedicating himself to writing House Stark's history, their struggles, and wars down –which they had and would definitely have, otherwise there would be no story to tell, and especially no story that GRRM would have any interest to write– as detailed as he did for House Targaryen with Fire and Blood since it would deliver us more evidence –an entire book would be harder to deliberately dismiss than a couple of expository excerpts in a few POVs chapters or interviews– that the starks are as power driven and ambitious as all the other lords in Westeros (like Rickard Stark and his southern ambitions, Cregan's uncle and his attempt to usurp his nephews, that ended up with Bennard and his sons imprisoned). Although, as already said the excuse of a lack of their house's history for their hypocrisy, wrapped sense of moral superiority, and the illusion of their house and its rise to power cannot be used, since GRRM does go into detail about how brutal house stark was via exposition through his POVs (x) and in AWoIaF (and interviews).
Also please elaborate on what you mean by 'FAILED at doing the one thing'. 'Failed' at ensuring peace and well-readied forces when the time comes, uncontested under their banner at the peak of their power? If so I would dare say House Stark doesn't exactly shine in that regard either at the current moment.
"Aegon foresaw the end of the world of men," Viserys said. "'Tis to begin with a terrible winter, gusting out of the distant North. Aegon saw absolute darkness riding on those winds, and whatever dwells within will destroy the world of the living. When this great winter comes, Rhaenyra, all of Westeros must stand against it. And if the world of men is to survive, a Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne. A king or queen strong enough to unite the realm against the cold and the dark. Aegon called his dream 'The Song of Ice and Fire.'" - source.
With all due respect, how is this prophecy NOT about Targaryen conquering Westeros? How should 'banding together (to face the threat)' in a feudal medieval world work without one fraction ruling absolutely, while the rest is subjugated?
At this point, the criticism is just so clearly blatant personal aversion for House Stark's subjugation. It would be FINE if Stark stans would simply commit to it and be honest. Instead of clumsily trying to find reasons and deliberately make up vile lies to condemn House Targaryen, present the North as some victim of exploitation and oppression under the Iron Throne and have the most hypocritical double standards such as i) vilifying House Targaryen for the conquest, often deliberately falsely equating it as an act imperialism or even genocide ii) presenting Westeros pre-conquest as some utopia iii) act as if there would be any other way in feudalism to become absolute rulers iv) as if House Stark hadn't waged war FOR SEVERAL MILLENNIA to be the Kings of Winter, and for another THOUSAND years to conquer The Three Sisters v) deliberately falsely accuse Aegon Targaryen of genocide, when it has been House Stark's ancestors –of whom they are very proud– to ACTUALLY commit genocide on Those Who Sing The Song Of The Earth vi) think it's unreasonable and wrong for House Targaryen to demand fealty in exchange for their help, dragons and resources in TWotD, yet expect/want the North's fealty to House Stark and northern independence OR/AND take no issue with House Stark's conquest over the North and the subjugation of the other northern houses, yet do not extent the same courtesy to House Targaryen, when doing the same simply on a larger scale.
Another insufferable double standard is how House Targaryen –AND ONLY HOUSE TARGARYEN– has to have 'the right reasons' (such as serving as savior before the apocalypse) and always act according to them (as if they were modern politicians), despite ASoIaF being High Fantasy Escapism and the fact that each House (exclude House Tully and Tyrell) TOOK everything they have by force. Peak hypocrisy. That being said, we have reached the point where apparently even featuring messianic prophecies is not enough (for the right reason).
@/miniaturewizardstudentsworld's comments are perfect examples as to why Targnation and Stark stans likely will never even peacefully share an internet space, since most Targaryen fans have absolutely zero patience for this Stark-glorified and Targaryen-vilified narrative, where we have to beg for our fav to their rightful credits. That being said, it's important for me to stated that most of the arguments above don't reflect my genuine thoughts and were only to showcase the blatant double standards for once applied to House Stark. So please keep that in mind.
#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#✨fandom bs✨#double standards#house targaryen#house stark#anti house stark stans#targnation
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Hey, everyone! I'm going to give @flufftober a shot this year. I've got the prompts all planned out below, but I might alter things around or change my mind as the month goes on. There's a lot of new ships I've never written before but I'm excited to try- especially with an autumn theme! My goal is to write between 300 and 1k words for each prompt. Hopefully I'll be updating this post often. Wish me luck! ❤
Week One
1. Wearing Each Other’s Clothes - Eddie Brock x Reader x Venom
2. “You’ve told your parents?” - Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (DCU) x Reader
3. Thick as Thieves - Nathan Drake (Uncharted 2022) x Thief!Reader
4. Supporting Silly Quirks/Hobbies [Alt 2] Caught in the Rain - TASM!Peter Parker x Reader
5. “Oh no, you’re a Morning Person!” - Robert "Bob" Floyd x Reader
6. Candles, Lanterns, Fairy Lights - Nadja of Antipaxos x Reader x Laszlo Cravensworth
7. Movie Marathon - Natasha Romanov/Black Widow x Reader
8. Shooting Stars - Thorin Oakenshield x Human!Reader AU
Week 2
9. Game Day (Sports) - Poly!SuicideSquad x Reader
10. Love Language - Bruce Wayne (Batman 2022) x Reader
11. Poetry, Art, Music, Craft - Rick Flag x Artist!Reader AU
12. “You kept this?” - Edward Teach (ofmd) x Reader
13. Secret Family Recipe - Peter Parker (MCU) x Ned’s Sister!Reader
14. Truth or Dare/20 Questions - Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Vigilante!Reader
15. Accidents don't just happen accidentally - Joan Watson x Reader x Sherlock Holmes
16. “I hate you” – “I love you too” - Emilia Harcourt x Argus Agent!Reader
Week Three
17. Animal Shelter - Stephen Holder x Reader
18. Soulmate AU - Eddie Munson x Reader
19. Hot Chocolate - Bilbo Baggins x Human!Reader
20. Bedtime Stories [Alt 5] Winning a Teddy for the Other - Steve Harrington x Reader
21. Kiss for Good Luck - Daenerys Targaryen x Reader
22. “Have you heard?” - Robert Dubois x Reader
23. POV Outsider - Digger Harkness x Reader from Rick Flag’s POV
24. All the Hugs - Harley Quinn x Squadmember!Reader
Week Four
25. First Dance - Kili (Hobbit) x Reader
26. Blankets - Takeshi Kovacs Prime x Reader
27. Reunion - Yelena Belova x Reader
28. Picnic - Guillermo de la Cruz x Witchhunter!Reader
29. Leaves [Alt 1] Slow dance - Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
30. Dear Diary - Chris Smith/Peacemaker x Reader
31. A Sweet Treat - Rick Flag x Argus Agent!Reader
#flufftober2022#flufftober#flufftober masterlist#mywords*#We'll see how I keep up with my first month-long challenge!
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Maeve and Robb as Parents! Q&A :)
@wolfanddragon98
Who is more likely to tell their children bedtime stories and tuck them to bed?
Maeve. She starts deciding which books she’s going to read to her child months before they are born.
Who is more likely to be more stern when necessary?
Between Maeve and Robb it’s Robb who’s the ‘stern’ parent.
Who is more likely to insist on frequent family feasts to spend time together as family?
Maeve ^.^ Everyone agrees though because she helps prepare the food and her cooking is the BEST.
Who is more likely to take their children horseback riding?
Maeve! She’ll want to teach her children how to ride a horse at a young age like she was taught.
Who is more likely to spoil their children?
They each spoil their kids in their own way. Robb often gives his daughters gifts like dresses (Fiora) or a new bow (Yvaine). And for his sons he’ll gift them swords (once properly trained). Maeve, however, likes to spoil her children with quality time, books, and food.
Who is more likely to be openly affectionate with their kids (basically giving zero fucks and hugging/kissing/picking up their children while other people are around)?
Maeve :)
Who is more likely to play with their children in the courtyard?
Robb. He loves spending time with his children out in the courtyard.
Who is more likely to give in to something when their child makes a puppy dog face?
Robb, especially if it’s Fiora who’s looking at him with teary eyes.
Who is more likely to teach their children weapon wielding?
Robb. But archery? That’s all Maeve.
Who is more likely to tutor their children personally?
Maeve. She’s qualified in my opinion.
Who is more likely to call their children by their family pet name?
Hmm, I’d say they each do.
Who is more likely to comfort their child after hearing them having a nightmare?
Maeve. She’d comfort them and stay by their side until they’ve fallen asleep.
Who is more likely to have a separation anxiety when their children are far away from them?
I mean they both get scared of being separated from their children. But I’d say Robb gets separation anxiety the worst because he’s already been away once because of the war.
Who is more likely to reprimand their children if they do something wrong?
Robb. Sometimes a good reprimand is needed and he’s usually the one to give it.
Who is more likely to indulge in some family cuddles?
When their children are babies (especially with little Ned) Maeve and Robb would lie next to them on the bed and look at them with so much love in their eyes. They’d be in disbelief that they actually made a person.
Who is more likely to be able to sense that one of their children is up to something?
Maeve. It’s like that Spider-Sense Spider-Man has only this one is called Mother-Sense.
Who is more likely to check in on their kids in the middle of the night to see if they are safe and sound?
Robb <3 Protective Wolf Dad
Who is more likely to insist that their children do voluntary work in order to give back to the world?
This is totally Maeve. Not that she would need to force them to do voluntary work. They do it because like Maeve they like helping people. Fiora in particular likes giving back to the common folk. And of course son #2 is by her side.
Who is more likely to have a hard time acknowledging that their children are growing up?
Robb...hence why he’d want more children with Maeve.
Who is more likely to be adorably excited when seeing their children hit their developmental milestones (first smile, first laugh, first step, first word etc)?
Psh, Robb. What a softie he is for his family. He’d even shed a few tears blaming dust had gotten into his eyes. Maeve knows better though xD
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/42552252
compare and contrast
by KToon
Does it matter that they hardly talk to him?
That they tuck Morgan into bed in the evenings and read her a bedtime story but don’t even spare a simple ‘goodnight’ to Peter?
Maybe it doesn’t. Because he’d blinked and everything was different, and sometimes, that’s just how it goes. His life was always throwing hurdles at him, increasing in size each time, and he knew one day that there’d be one too tall to jump.
Perhaps this is it.
Words: 4564, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Gen
Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Panic Attacks, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is an Asshole, but only because he's TERRIBLE at feelings, Hopeful Ending, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
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Whimsical Nights: 7 Engaging Bedtime Stories for Boys
Embark on a captivating nightly odyssey with our handpicked selection of 7 Engaging Bedtime Stories for Boys, each promising to infuse bedtime with wonder and imagination. From the hilarious antics of David Walliams' "Gangsta Granny" to the classic mystery of Hergé's "The Secret of the Unicorn," these tales artfully blend humor, adventure, and valuable life lessons. Ross Welford's "The Kid Who Came From Space" explores themes of courage and sibling bonds, while Kate Dicamillo's "Mercy Watson: To the Rescue" injects bedtime with humor and charm. Dive into the heartwarming oceanic adventures of Narwhal and Jelly, laugh along with the challenges of destiny at the "Dragon Slayers' Academy," and experience the delightful twist in Brett McKee's "Sir Ned and the Nasties." These bedtime stories promise to turn each night into an enchanting journey of joy, connection, and limitless possibilities.
#bedtime stories#bedtimemagic#bedtimestoriesforboys#babyblog#parentingtips#bestparentingblog#babyhubblog#parentingblogindia
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The Zaradus Regime [Parts 1-2]
Part 1
A news broadcast from Donna Luther’s favorite televangelist, Reverend James.
“We have to interview a local with evidence of a diabolical extraterrestrial conspiracy, introducing John Doe!”
Leo, talking on the phone with Sasha, blithely asked,
“So, know about any alien plots to destroy the town?”
“No. Well, outside of my selling the extracts of Venusian Fruit as an antidepressant, with FDA approval, no.”
“Right. Just checking.”
On the news, the nonsense continued. A recommendation that all the “good, honest Christians” wear metallic head coverage during an upcoming concert for local bands. Some poorly evidenced nonsense. The only real draw being “a man of god says it.”
Later Sasha was out for a walk, when she noticed that several people were wearing tinfoil hats, and several more were glaring at her with strange suspicion.
Sasha saw a guy on a street corner yelling “get your hats here! Tinfoil lined and socially accepted!”
Sasha made a mental note to investigate this “John Doe”
She hadn’t gone to a church in years. She had renounced her faith in Zhal'lel, and saw no reason for faith.
This would be a strange encounter indeed. Sasha went into church after the service to see Reverend James hanging out with church staff, chatting it up sharing jokes.
Sasha opted for the direct approach.
“Reverend James. I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
James turned to look at Sasha, his face shifting from Merriment to a leery glare.
“And you are?”
“Sasha Kramer. On your morning news, you interviewed a man named ‘John Doe’.”
“Named what?”
“John Doe. Do you think-“
“Never heard of him.”
Sasha stopped. “I see. Good day.”
She left and went to speak with Rhett.
Late that night, she broke into the local television Centers. With a new gadget at her disposal- a piece of sophisticated spyware developed by the Rhumerians during-
Basically, it mimics the FaceTime functions of a cellphone, and has no other features. Shaped like a Polaroid, but with a microphone attached.
Sasha had her friend Rhett “on call” here.
However, their combined deductive powers couldn’t find any sort of alien tampering.
“Looks like the Broadcast is genuine”
“So Reverend James is a damn liar. Guess I’ll have to locate ‘John Doe’ some other way.”
Sasha cut the call and left.
How best to go about the investigation… she had an idea.
Part 2
She returned to her attic base crawling up the side of the house and through the balcony.
In the room, Racks of soil filled with plants under otherworldly lights from machines lined one wall, an set of storage boxes sat in the corner. From the balcony, moonlight streamed into the room, highlighting the curled nest of the room primary occupant.
Next the nest, a low table occupied by strange instruments of glass and metal, in various states of dis-and-reassembly.
On the side of the table adjacent to the nest, Ned was sitting down playing on a game boy.
“Sasha, why don’t you have any family photos?” he innocently asked.
“Not your business. Can you get out of here? Please?”
“Why?”
Asked Ned.
“Some of the plants here are- I’ll explain later.”
“Do you have a boyfriend? And why are your eye whites… not white?”
Asked Ned.
Sasha struggled to refrain from giving out a growl of vaguely sociopathic hatred, and said, in a monotone of polite dismissal,
“No. Don’t want one either. Please leave the room.”
“You sound like a serial killer.”
Said Ned.
“I’m bored. My mum’s asleep and I want a bedtime story.”
“Just a moment.”
Sasha slithered back out the window. She wanted to do the pragmatic thing, slapping a sleep patch on him and then letting exhaustion take her. She opted to do the “right thing”
Sasha crawled onto the attic ceiling, then proceeded to crawl down the attic stairs.
When she returned, Ned was patiently waiting for an actual answer. She sat down in her nest, opened up a picture book, and motioned for Ned to sit on her lap.
After waking up the next day with an unconscious 10-year-old and children’s storybook on her lap, Sasha briefly wondered where this newfound maternal side came from, before opted to clear her brain and get to work.
She went checked over her weaponry. She still had the .5 kilos of thermite, she still had the stun-pistols, and the sleep patches. Mind you, the patches and stunners only worked on humans.
And the Portal-projector.
She noted that this was the second to last day before the concert.
She went to the concert hall, to examine the equipment there.
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Dragon mama | 2k | yoonmin✍🏼
Jimin abandoned life in the palace to hunt for treasures and se the world. He didn't realize his final destination will be inside the dragon cave from an old legend.
[ jimsu | dragon yoongi x prince jimin | fated mates | very fast burn | scenting | breeding | oviposition | they're led by instincts | yoongi is he/him but from jimin's pov he uses them ]
oºº’‘ººoº*ºooºº’‘ººo
Standing in front of the entrance to the cave was petrifying, he wasnt going to lie. He's travelled so long and went through so many hardships to get here.
He didnt want to change his mind when he was on the finish line. Feeling the breath of humid air washing over his face, he took a step inside.
Ever since he was little he dreamt of other lands. Far away from the stuffy walls of his room, that seemed so small despite being so spacious.
Every person in the palace doted on prince Jimin, making sure he won't go outside without supervision and even in the presence of the guards he wasnt allowed to go too far. And while younger Jimin could be pacified with some other entertainment, teenage Jimin protested passionately.
He joined the training for warriors they had within palace grounds because he's always been told how dangerous the outside world is. And soon as he decided he was going to travel it despite his family's protests, he nedded to be able to protect himself.
Several years later he left the palace with a scandal, uncaring that he went against their will. He was the third son, destined to be married off to an alias royal family and everything in his heart despised it.
Something out there, far away, was calling out to him, growing stronger with every year. He wished to find out what it was.
The only thing that was fascinating inside the palace was the fact of their weird obsession with dragons. His ancestors believed they were coming from one of them but as far as he knew, many generations of his dynasty were just humans.
Nevertheless he remembered that fact when he abandoned the royal life, instead preferring the life of a treasure hunter. He sensed gold, gems, ancient artifacts. He could predict if the next hunch or a legend was true or just a bedtime story.
That's how Jimin learnt about a dragon. What he heard was no more than a city legend to others and something inside him was whispering it was the right path to take.
This is how he ended up in a rocky cave, moving forward in quiet steps, already sensing a presence at the end of the tunnel. There was a light in front of him, in the distance. And it was glowing brighter the more steps he took towards it.
He ended up in a stone chamber. It was huge, looking like the size of the biggest ballroom in the palace he grew up in. And everywhere he looked he saw treasures. Gold, chests with coins, furniture decorated with gems. His eyes lit up, wanting to take them all.
He heard shuffling somewhere in the corner. It echoed through the high walls and hissed through the air. He almost forgot. To be able to take the values he had to defeat the dragon that lived here. A huge ancient creature, unforgiving towards other treasure hunters like him.
He clutched his sword tight in his hand. He is going to kill that monster and take everything he owned. The amount of gold he saw clouded his mind, making him greedy, making him want to hoard those gems himself.
- Another dead man walking, - he heard a deep voice from the side and almost jumped in surprise.
Jimin knew he wasn't alone here. He just wasn't prepared for the sight that appeared in front of his eyes.
There, on a stone floor, covered in pearls and gems stood a person. Dressed only in a thin layer of silk, they stood with their shoulders straight and eyes set on him. Yellow menacing eyes with vertical pupils were glinting on the soft featured face, framed with long waterfall of blond hair that cascaded down to their waist.
- To what do I owe this pleasure, yet another worm that slithered in my humble abode? - the person asked in a tone that clearly showed disgust.
- I'm here for the treasure, - Jimin replied firmly, clutching his sword.
But looking at the pale body frame of the dragon, who appeared so human, he hesitated. His eyes traveled their slender ankles and full thighs, up to the curve of their waist and the swell of their breasts, barely covered with intricate construction of gems.
- Mhm, - they said, approaching the warrior without an ounce of fear. - How curious.
They stepped closer and then suddenly stopped. Their nostrils flared and they moved their head as if sniffing something in the air.
- How curious, the fate brought here a little dragon, huh? - they rubbed their chin in thought.
- What? - Jimin was dumbfounded, - I'm a human. Have your eyes deceived you?
The person chuckled and started walking around the man. Like a predator around his prey.
- I don't need to see for me to know who you are. I can smell it on you. You are of dragon blood. Not as strong as mine and still, it is what it is.
Jimin let go of the sword. The words he heard only increased the burning sensation in his chest he's been feeling for a while, ever since he started approaching this island where the mountain with the dragon cave was.
His heart was beating like crazy and the blood was rushing in his ears. He wasn't sure what is that he wanted anymore.
- Calm down, little dragon. Or you're going to make yourself sick, - the voice didn't sound so mad anymore, concerned even.
- What's happening to me? - he whispered, clutching at the tunic he had on somewhere near his solar plexux.
- You found what you've been looking for, - they announced and finally walked up even closer, with that easing the burn inside. - What is your name, handsome?
- I'm Jimin. Prince Jimin from the Southern Kingdom. But I left it...
- To rob other dragons? That's despicable, just so you know. I won't have a thief for a mate, so your treasure hunting career is over!
- M-mate? - he was so stunned he didn't react when the dragon clutched his hand and started dragging him into the direction of one of the corners of the room.
- Can't you feel it? The pull? It almost knocked me out about an hour ago. I knew you were coming. - they pushed Jimin and he flopped on something soft, probably the dragon's nest. - I'm Yoongi. And I've been waiting for you far too long for you to escape under some silly excuse.
- I've heard of mates. I just think there might have been some mistake... - he said while not being so sure the dragon was wrong.
Yoongi leaned in close to his neck and snapped their teeth with a loud growl. The next moment something shifted and Jimin hissed in such timbre he didn't know he was able to produce. He pushed the dragon onto the furs and nipped at their shoulder lightly.
- See? You're just as human as I am. - Yoongi had a pleased smirk on their face. And then they added in a softer tone, - Stop fighting it. It's hurting me too, you know.
Tears welled up in the prince's eyes. His posture slumped against the soft body under him and he got his face into Yoongi's neck. It smelt like smoke and something sweet, something delicious.
- You can scent me, little dragon, - Yoongi chuckled and while Jimin had no idea what to do, his instincts did everything for him.
He relished in the mouthwatering scent and licked at the soft delicate skin. The dragon used their strength and turned them over, paying the same attention to the other's neck in return.
- Now we smell like each other. It will stay like that after we mate. But for now, I just need to be impregnated.
- Do we need to do it now? I've no idea who you even are. - Jimin was baffled though he understood that dragons thought differently to humans.
- I'm afraid none of us has too much time to make a more informed choice, - Yoongi sassed, - You made an amateur mistake and went to the dragon's lair in the middle of the breeding season. And while I could cope when you were away, I won't hold back now. I need to be bred soon or you can fuck off.
- Sh-h, - Jimin soothed the seething dragon, trying to ignore how white smoke started coming out of their nostrils. - I'm not saying no. I just need some guidance. I was human ten minutes ago!
- You were a dragon since you were born, - Yoongi sighed, exasperated, - I'm starting to pray our young to have my brain, not yours.
Jimin smiled. This sassy dragon mama was something else. So confident, fearless. And they knew exactly what they wanted. That was very attractive.
The burning in his chest intensified. His body moved forward, closer to the beauty that was the dragon. He had fire in his lower belly, spreading towards his limbs. He wanted to kiss this stunning mama breathless, lay with them.
He was their mate. That's all there was to it. To creatures there was no other reason, no pretence needed.
- You want me to breed you, mama?
Yoongi grinned at the endearment. He knew it meant to highlight his bearing status. He decided he kind of liked that human thing. He slid his hand along one of his curled horns and he looked at the prince from under his lashes.
- Yes. So stop wasting our time and kiss me.
Jimin moved forward and connected their lips. They were as sweet as nectar, soft as flower petals. Yoongi pawed at his tunic and he hestlitantly took it off along with his pants and undergarments.
- Come here, - he called for him softly, laying on the soft furs.
Jimin covered the warm body with his, getting the silks aside and revealing the other's leaking cock and soft full thighs. Yoongi parted them, taking his shaft in his hand and giving it a couple of strokes. He lifted his heavy balls and Jimin saw how wet he was all around his pink entrance.
- I've been ready for you for ages, my prince. Breed me full of eggs. Give me our young.
With the burning inside his chest reaching unbearable levels he lost all his previous hesitation. There was nothing that would feel more right than what was happening now.
He put his elbows on both sides of the dragon's face, mindful of their long hair that fanned all over the the covers. He guided himself inside, feeling how slippery wet it was, breaching the tight ring of muscles with ease.
The dragon sighed in content throwing their head back and growling animalistic. They hugged his thick cock with their smooth walls and crossed their elegant ankles on Jimin's lower back.
- Please move, - they demanded, - Show me you're good to be my mate.
Something in Jimin stirred. He had an overwhelming desire to prove himself washing over him. He thrusted inside with much force, jolting the heated body under him. He caught himself thinking of the possibility of those eggs growing inside and licked at Yoongi's neck while moving his hips fast and rapid.
Yoongi squeezed his shaft inside again and he felt wetness on his abdomen. He looked down and saw the dragon playing with their own come, keeping their legs spread wide apart. Now it was his turn.
He fucked into them with all his might, thoughts clouded only with the thought of giving and giving to his mate until they would be satisfied. And soon Yoongi almost roared as hot seed spilled inside him. He pushed at Jimin's lower back, pressing their sweaty bodies together and kept them connected just like that.
- Lay still. - they huffed, clouding Jimin's face with milky smoke. - Now we wait til it catches on.
Jimin, awed and a little scared, looked over the dragon's body. He cupped one of their breasts, flicking the rosy nipple.
- Say mama, we need to make sure you will be bred right?
- Pff, yes, - they replied.
- We need to highten our chances, - he leaned in and landed open mouthed kisses on their jaw and lips, - And thoroughly try again.
The end.
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Weird dreams with plot... Is it just me?
Okay, so I'm sure that almost everyone has weird dreams when they go to sleep. But, I'm not sure if anyone ever has any type(s) of dreams like this...
So, this usually happens whenever I consume apples (be its apple juice, applesauce, apple chips, or just apples in general). But, I remember this one dream where Ned Flanders felt bad that his kids don't have a mother figure that would live longer than a year (or so), but he's afraid to get married again just to lose another spouse. Granted, he's a Christian, but he doesn't seem to mind having a live-in nanny to help him with his children. Todd Flanders grew attached to the live-in nanny because after losing her mother at a young age, she had doubts about the faith that she grew up with. Rod Flanders enjoys the meal plans for his Type 1 and to see his brother "real happy" and not "fake happy". Ned... Well, at first he was a little hesitant when knowing her lifestyle; Wiccan, enjoys video games, hesitates on saying grace, respects other religions, and follows more than one deity. Now, to some, that doesn't sound really bothersome. But, Ned slowly grows attached to her after getting to know her as a person instead as a label.
The dream started with Ned, his kids, and their nanny returning home from the movies. Suddenly, they begin hearing someone (or something) chewing on something. As they carefully walked in (Ned being armed with a bible and their nanny telling Rod and Todd to stay behind her), they discovered something horrible... Homer Simpson finished Rod's meal for that day (a salmon burger with eggplant "fries" and cashews). Ned angrily shouts at Homer for eating Rod's food and Homer went "Yeah, well... it was getting cold." (despite the fact that you can reheat meal plans). Suddenly, Ned picked up a folding table, and as he makes his way to Homer, their nanny does her best to make sure that the kids wouldn't see and/or hear anything violent when Ned smacks Homer in the back with the same table.
"Now, Homer. You can insult me, my lifestyle, and my support for the South-diddly-Paws. But, you have gone too diddly-darn far."
"Oh... Uh... S-sorry, Ned. I'll uh... I'll go."
The nanny left the room with Rod and Tood to the living room to wait until Ned's anger dies down; which took about a few (or so) hours. To Ned's surprise, their nanny volunteered to say grace for the first time over "pancakes for dinner". After watching animated Bible Stories, Rod and Todd went to bed. As they prepared their bedtime routine, they begin to talk about... before.
"Hey, I just want to apologize for my behavior. It's just, every time I see my kids, I see half of my beloved Maude."
"It's alright. In fact, it's quite understandable. The good news is that I made sure that they didn't witness any of it."
"Thanks. You've done so much for my family, I just wish that there was a way to show you my appreciation without the old 'Pop, goes the question'."
"Hey, I'm in no rush. Besides, my family's love life is either miserable or happy. The latter is sadly rare."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, that's when I woke up. But, recently I had a dream where the nanny used to work for the Simpsons so that way Marge could relax for the first time. Now, since the nanny looked like a "Springfield version" of me, I assume that she's my OC.
In my dream, my OC started growing attached to Maggie in a maternal way. When Maggie responded in a positive way, my Oc began tearing up. Lisa noticed this when she was entering the living room to practice her smooth jazz, she asked her what was wrong. Due to Lisa and Maggie's age, my OC explained to them that her doctor told her that the reason why she didn't have any "monthly visitors" means that she can't be a "biological mother". Of course, Lisa and Maggie understood. Eventually, Bart (sort of) understands, and Homer... does, too.
But, Marge? Well, she did say that she understand.
But, she grew jealous, assumed that my OC was going to be Maggie's new mommy (thanks to Helen Lovejoy and her "gossiping personality"), and snapped at her.
"Now, you listen here, missy! I don't care what your doctor says, I am Maggie's mommy! You will never be her mommy!"
Now, that's what she said. But, what my OC heard was:
"Now, you listen here, missy! I don't care what your doctor says. I am Maggie's mommy! You will never be a mommy!"
So, my OC claims to "go out for a walk" and never came back (she even left with her stuff). Until she can find someone that can trust her with their kids, she has decided to live (temporarily) at 82 Evergreen Terrace where the late Edna Krabappel used to live (of course, she treats it with respect).
Thanks to Marge's misunderstanding, my OC has tried to do her best to please her boss(es) at her job(s). But, Moe claimed that his bar needs to look and feel depressing for "barflies". Superintendant Chalmers said that it's against the school rules for a teacher to be friends (or friendly) with students. Chief Wiggum fired my OC for not shooting and/or tasing people for no reason. Plus, he arrested her for "standing up to a cop".
By chance (almost), Ned bails her out; he was actually there to donate Bibles that he censored by hand to innocent inmates. During their first lunch date, they learned something about each other. As the date continues, Ned explains that he's nervous about "Pop, Goes the Question" and my OC says that she's in no hurry. He was a little hesitant when she politely refused to say grace, but he stayed because he knew that she's a good person (although he did faint when she said she's Wiccan and views Lucifer as an "uncle figure", but he still stayed when he came to). As Ned invites her to his house, the kids were nervous about "having a new mommy figure" in their lives, but eventually, they grew attached to her. Unlike his previous dates, he doesn't force her to change (he's not a god or a man-god), no matter how many hushed whispers they hear in church (that she goes when she feels like it).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that's all of the "The Simpsons" dreams that I dreamt so far.
I'm not sure if the "Recent Season's Ned Flanders" would react to having a nanny who's a Wiccan to watch over him and his kids, but according to his wiki page, Ned is very honest, kind, and sincere.
I hope that you all enjoy reading this if/when you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have the time.
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There is No Plot
TW: Implied vampires, blood mention, a baby,
Virgil’s humming rang through the hallways. It was sweet and fatherly, like he knew the tune but not the words.
Roman looked up from his writing with a grin on his face.
“Sounds like your dad’s in a good mood,” Roman chimed, looking at Babe, “We should go say hi.”
Babe looked up at him in response to his name while gnawing on his shirt.
“Ba ha gagoo,” Babe babbled back to his father.
“Well put, kit,” Roman chuckled.
Roman lifted his son up into his arms, before starting his way down to the kitchen.
“OH, VIRGILIUS!” Roman sang as he opened the kitchen door.
“Sup doofus,” Virgil responded, before turning around to greet his son, “And hello, little man, how are you?”
“Booskigoo.” Babe giggled.
“Well, that’s good, boraròw.” Virgil cooed, as he poked his son’s chubby cheek.
Virgil looked up at his boyfriend, laying a hand on his chest.
“Did Babe already eat?” Virgil asked.
“No, darling, I figured we’d say hello while I heated up a bottle.” Roman answered.
“Why don’t you just join me for lunch, princey?”
“You know what? That does sound divine, is there any food that won’t kill me?”
“Uhh, let me check.”
Virgil quickly looked in the drawers, trying to find a food item that wouldn’t cause an allergic reaction.
“We have basil and stuff, the garden might have something more meal like for you?”
Roman nodded, and handed Babe to Virgil before going out to the garden.
Virgil hugged his son to his chest, staring at the little bundle of joy in his arms.
“God, you’re so cute.” Virgil laughed, “You get that from your father, but don’t tell him that, it’ll go straight to his head.”
Babe’s response was to put his tiny little baby hands on his dad’s cheeks.
“You want some blood squash soup? Or the usual pork blood?”
Babe just stared at his dad.
“No opinion? Ok,” Virgil kissed Babe’s forehead, and continued to stir the soup he was making.
There was something peaceful about holding their son in his arms. Virgil had met plenty of babies in his years of life, but none of them were quite like Babe. Sure, I mean, a lot of stuff was obviously different, but their son had this sort of energy to him. It kind of reminded Virgil of his mother, they both had these eyes that made it felt like they were listening.
Which, honestly, even though Virgil believed in some questionable things. He did find that maybe even that was a little too far fetched.
“I found an extra squash!” Roman triumphantly cheered when he walked back into the kitchen.
“That’s lovely, Romano.”
Roman swung an arm around Virgil’s waist, giving him a quick kiss.
“Is the fire still hot?”
“Ask that question again but slower, Ro.”
“Oh, oh shut up, Prince Alarming.”
Virgil laughed at Roman.
“We’re gonna have the rudest one year old ever, whenever he learns how to talk.”
“And we’ll be proud, and we’ll let him write our declarations of war, and he will call Bonner a poopy head.”
“I will award him with honorable knights-manship.”
Speaking of Babe, he currently had his little head nestled in his dad’s chest, while his parents bantered together.
“Well, it certainly looks like he has a lot of sleeping to do before he does anything we described.” Roman mumbled, gently patting his son on the back, “God, he’s precious.”
“Yeah, he really is.”
The kitchen fell quiet, besides the gentle crackling of the fire and the sizzling of a freshly picked squash. A few moments passed.
“Hey,” Virgil hummed, swaying side to side with Babe still cuddled into his chest.
“Hey,” Roman hummed back, stirring his squash.
“I love you, Roweboat.”
“My dearest Virgilius, I love you too.”
Virgil smiled to himself, kissing the top of Babe’s head.
“Is he still asleep?” Roman whispered.
“Yeah,” Virgil whispered back.
“I love him so much,” Roman said, glancing at their son.
“Hehe, I love him too.”
#tw babies#ts prinxiety#intothevoids#alternate universe#no plot#ned’s bedtime stories#universe 5782#roman sanders#ts roman#roman rowe#virgil sanders#ts virgil#virgil powell#kenzie ‘babe’ powell#romantic prinxiety#tw vampire#tw blood mention
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