#not in a 'how dare you be disappointed in my fave way!!!!!' (because i don't care) but in the way that they don't seem happy to be here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

panelshowsource · 9 months

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hahahaha that is so funny i have no idea! interestingly i've found a few things on taskmaster to be taken from japanese and korean game shows, so i guess we're all just sharing the fun :')

martin freeman. obviously. no debate. bosch. next question

anon this is so exciting for you!!! we all wish we could watch tm for the first time again!!! hehehe

you may be pleased to know s04 is a great fan favourite, as is...most of the first five series 🥹 i have a ridiculous soft spot for s02, which is pretty tragic since it was so short. in the beginning, in general, the contestants didn't quite understand the full potential of the format, didn't realise all of the lateral thinking they could do, didn't try or want to push the rules — so there's something just so stupid about it, like they really just let alex push them around and laugh at them, and that was so funny. now, there are a lot more rules, certain elements can be tired, the writing team has to work hard so it's not formulaic, etc. still an amazing programme, in HUGE parts thanks to 1) alex and 2) their editor rachel (we stan!!!), but the wide-eyedness of the earliest series are unbeatable in some regards imo. that said, we've had some great recent series, 14 being the the most recent fan fave imo!

btw don't forget to watch the nye and champion of champions specials if you're not already!! they're so silly heh junior taskmaster is also coming up!!

i watched the first series of the nz version recently and i just...idk i may be a purist, but it's been hard for me to get into it. the contestants are really great

— except for, you know...you know what. now i can say it. this is my time to say it. i am so angry about a grown white man in all red and these disgusting THIN little 🤢flip flops🤢

like how dare you wear those abominations on your feet. how dare you make me look at this. anon you're a kiwi so maybe you know this man and maybe next time you see him at the supermarket let him know panelshowsource from tumblr is so mad at him istg. i am genuinely fuming sfhdfkgrd —

but it was a bit predictable, especially with paul not finding his own character right off the bat. that said, i hear it gets even better with series 2 so i need to try it! otherwise, people seem to like the denmark version as well! i want to try that one out :)

i think ed has proven in over ten episodes of the podcast that he makes the utmost effort to use mae's pronouns; i can only recall noticing a slip-up once so imo it's exceptionally rare. mae has also commented on this directly and is very understanding to people who are still adjusting to the language. that said, i am sorry if ed's mistakes made you uncomfortable and if you want to shoot them an email with a suggestion then i don't why you couldn't/shouldn't. that said, i don't think you need to be concerned there's any maliciousness or laziness on the podcast's part because it really does seem they care x

ugh i can only HOPE and PRAY and DREAM and FANTASTISE we get miles on tm actually let's all do a collective sigh of disappointment that we couldn't get miles/frankie on the same season...

i'm usually not one for making predictions because i'm just so remarkably wrong so much of the time, but in my mind there are only two routes for miles: he'll either speedrun the entire thing dara ó briain style

— hold that thought did you guys know one of alex's sons is called dara? i just learned that the other day and i was like wow. okay back to the sentence i was writing —

or he'll flop in the most paddington bear way à la john kearns. i don't see a middle of the road for our guy. interestingly, i just listened to the tm podcast episode with the show director andy devonshire, and he and ed were saying that taskmaster isn't a place for characters: that you come into the show and end up having to be yourself (hence why ed was a competitive maniac muahaha). we've seen miles in really intelligent dynamics, and he can be both witty and unseriously goofy in them, but i'm not sure i've seen enough of him trapped with his own thoughts to know just how he'd perform heh

another thing ed mentioned on the podcast with andy d was his belief that greg is biased towards the older contestants (something like "they talk about being tired and greg simply relates to that — even though greg is not a tired old man and actually has a very youthful energy"; which i love, because it's so fascinating to me how often we forget / people don't realise greg's age because he just fits into any age group so seamlessly), so it makes me wonder if greg wouldn't lovingly bully miles and would actually find him charming/cute

sigh [picks up phone to call alex] let me see i can make this happen

LMAOOO like 5 minutes after the movie released one of my besties called me and was like "sarah. listen to me. rob brydon is sugar daddy ken. this is not a joke. this is code red. this is code. red."

rob is living his dream!!!

cutest anon of the year

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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I just saw from a post that you mentioned that your dad was Nigerian and I was just curious how you feel about being like Nigerian and if you actually feel like you're connected to the culture. Like you don't have to answer if you don't want to, it's just I was curious since I'm also Nigerian but I've never really left this godforsaken country(I say this both affectionately and with burning hostility)

Like did your dad ever like make an attempt to teach you your language or was he like my grandpa and just refuse to teach it to his kids😭

And if you've ever had Nigerian food what's your fave? (I dare you to say jollof rice🌚) mine is banga soup and white rice or ofada stew and white rice

Do you speak pigeon? Because if you do I'll definitely be speaking it to you in the anons from now on lol

And I totally agree about the beating being normalized in poc households😭. Your blog really helped me realize that my mom was kind of abusive (and I'm still kind of in denial about it) because over here it's so horrifying how normalized it is to beat your kids until they've turned black and blue.

I was talking to classmates and we were bonding over the fact our parents used to beat us with like wires, sticks, belts and stuff and how they overdid it alot of the time and made us scared shitless and one of them was literally telling me how she fell a glass cup and broke it and got some glass in her foot and she couldn't even tell her parents because she was too scared to get flogged so the babe performed surgery on her self with a DIRTY RUSTY razor at 10 yrs old💀.

And let me tell this convo wasn't even heavy, we were all laughing and joking about it and shit.

Then I asked them if they would ever beat their kids and these niggas said YESSS they were like if they never got beaten half to death as literal children they would have grown up to be bad ppl and I was floored like do you hear yourselves??? And when I said why beat your children like they're animals instead of treating them like little humans with developing minds that make mistakes and grow and these fools laughed at me and looked at me confused like I was speaking French to them😭 and I'm screaming jesus what a life😭😭😭😭

Only divine intervention can save Nigerians from this awful cycle of abuse(I'm not religious in any way). These goats need therapy😭😭😭😭

And have you heard the bs the government is pulling out of their asses over here with the money problem😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sorry if this is overwhelming, I just got really excited at the word Nigeria lol. I hate this stupid country and its stupid ppl so much but yet sometimes I'm filled with such overwhelming love for it and its stupid inhabitants. I'm the anon that went to that skating event and met a ton of queer ppl who respected my pronouns and stuff so these ppl are the only reason why I have hope for my dum dum country with it dum dum politicians

Sorry again for the rant😭😭😭😭

I just saw from a post that you mentioned that your dad was Nigerian and I was just curious how you feel about being like Nigerian and if you actually feel like you're connected to the culture.

ive never left America, so no. im sorry, i wish i was more connected to it a lot of the time but it just feels too late for that to me.

he never taught me his language either (Tiv) though he did speak it when he was around the house. but he wasnt around a lot. when i asked him why he didnt try to teach us he just shrugged like it wasn't a priority. he started staying in nigeria for most of the year only coming back for a few months every now and then so i probably wouldnt have picked it up even if he HAD tried.

I've never even called myself Nigerian, not because I don't want to be but because of the embarrassment of having to explain that yeah im Nigerian but... not really Nigerian. I wouldn't want to disappoint any REAL Nigerians by basically being raised as a white American kid and knowing nothing about Nigeria.

And if you've ever had Nigerian food what's your fave?

i've only ever had pounded yam and okra i think, it wasnt bad but it also apparently wasnt made properly. my mom would make it and my dad would be like "this isnt even real pounded yam what the hell is this" and then nothing would change the next time around haha. so i dont think i can say ive ever eaten Nigerian food, sorry. my oldest sister has tho, when she went to visit him. i hate spices though, they hurt too much, so i doubt I'd enjoy it. which i feel kinda bad about. but ive got a lot of issues about food, and being forced to eat food, so. yeah.

Do you speak pigeon? Because if you do I'll definitely be speaking it to you in the anons from now on lol

GOD I wish. i wish he'd taught us literally fucking anything.

now that most of us are adult-aged he's been asking us to come visit him in nigeria. he's clearly very lonely, but i dont want to be alone with him in a country where he controls everything about where i stay and what i do and what i eat (he doesnt understand my eating restrictions and it would be hellish to starve because of that)

two of my sisters have gone to visit him and it sounds like it was fucking AWFUL tbh. i'd go with them but not with him.

yeah this mindset is wild to me, cause if a kid is too young to understand why what they did is wrong then why are you beating them?? that wont help they literally don't understand?? and if they AREN'T too young to understand then explain it to them! People who beat their kids are just admitting they dont know how to solve problems or vent frustration without violence. And if they had control over the people around them, they would USE violence to force them to comply, but since they only have control over their kids they can only beat their kids.

Only divine intervention can save Nigerians from this awful cycle of abuse(I'm not religious in any way). These goats need therapy

my dad is the only Nigerian i really know, but from what I know about him this is very true. he's insanely traumatized from like, civil war stuff and his own shitty upbringing. but he doesn't really believe in mental health stuff so good luck telling him that!

And have you heard the bs the government is pulling out of their asses over here with the money problem

im not very caught up on the political situation over there, but from what my dads told me its not good. my dad is mostly interested in the education system though, its like his life's work and all he's ever wanted to was to be put in charge of it and get kids educated so they have opportunities like he did or something. idk. he thinks education is the key to making Nigeria better and i dont exactly disagree with his life mission but hey, I don't live there. what do i know.

he apparently helped get the current president elected in hopes that he'd be good, but it doesnt appear things are going well. Every time he'd come home when I was younger though, that was the main thing he talked about. Getting his guy elected.

he texted me a bit ago to say he'd met with the president multiple times and was feeling stressed out, but i dont wanna say more unless you end up tracking me or something haha. fun fact tho, he's apparently been almost assassinated at least twice. like maybe he's just super paranoid, but he KNOWS someone hired a guy to assassinate him at least once because that guy was his friend and came up to him one day like "yo watch out someone's trying to kill you lol" or something.

idk he told me that story when i was younger so maybe i have the details wrong.

I'm the anon that went to that skating event and met a ton of queer ppl who respected my pronouns and stuff so these ppl are the only reason why I have hope for my dum dum country with it dum dum politicians

ohh i remember you! what a coincidence haha.

#nnstuff #ask #child abuse tw #asks are sweethearts #long post

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thegoldencontracts · 23 days

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Okk this post is a lil thing I had to get off my chest (hot take ig) but I saw a post recently that was complaining about azujamj fandom dynamics and it made me so angry, not because it was disagreeing with my take, but because it just seemed so?? Angry?? It's completely okay to dislike a common trope but don't be a pretentious mf??? It's really not that hard??? Don't bash people who happen to have a different interpretation of characters than you and say they're completely OOC (bc as an avid reader and writer azujami has so many good fics)

This is my thing: Please, please, dislike a thing as much as you want. But don't get upset with others for liking that thing. There's a difference between, 'I don't like trains and wish there was less train content of my feed' and 'ughh god I would like trains but God most train-lovers are so annoying and only share the most boring facts ever I swear'

Also, if you want to see more of something and you're gonna be like this tm about it, I have a much better idea for you:

Spread your takes in a nice way. Write fics that feature your interpretation, if you can't write post small HCs and theories, in a kind way that doesn't bash people who disagree with you. I see headcanons about Azul that I disagree with, some of which are pretty popular. And yeah, I can make a post about how these stupid people who enjoy the same thing as me and make content that I get to enjoy for free dared to disagree with me, but you know what that makes me? A dick.

I know, I know, it's weird to get so worked up about it, but this feels like such a common trend in this fandom. If you have a darker interpretation of the characters, that's lovely! Diverse interpretations make a fandom with media literacy. But don't complain about how everyone's woobifying your faves just bc they don't think the twins loved Azul's overblot and were really disappointed they couldn't eat him please. It feels belittling and very pretentious - your take isn't necessarily the correct one.

And you know the funniest part? A lot of people who complain about everyone woobifying or excessively darkening their faves or whatever? They don't even make anything for their fandom. If you want to see more X, don't complain about people not making X, make X or request X from someone who takes requests if you really really don't wanna write.

I'm not criticizing takes here - you can say that you feel, or just straight up evidence contradicts X take. You can analyze X take and say it seems implausible. But when you criticize people and complain about real people who do x thing, you're not trying to analyze, debate, or share information anymore, you're being a dick.

No one gets hurt by someone saying that the twins and Azul deep down consider each other friends, and no one's hurting anyone by saying that they find jamiazu 's funny scenes a major part of their HCs. No one's sinning by disagreeing with you.

So please, for the love of all that is holy, if you're going to criticize a take, actually bring up reasonable criticisms - 'Azul being treated like a crybaby because of his breakdown may be a popular take, but it belittles his character and clearly contradicts Canon', isn't that much harder to write than 'Ugh why doesn't anyone realize that Azul's actually a terrible person, Jesus he'd murder you for a single corn chip', and it's more accurate because it's a genuine criticism not just you complaining people don't have the same interpretation as you, but also kinder. It's not that hard just BE NICE. Please! The people who have those takes and still people, and also, even then, their takes are usually backed up by some form of evidence. Don't act objective if you're not even gonna be open to criticism of your own takes.

#listen azul Ashengrotto is my pookie and i love him #but I'm not gonna moan and groan about how everyone daring to view him differently is murdering my baby #twst analysis #kinda ig #discourse

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morrigan-sims · 10 months

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get to know me tag

I was tagged by @fivesims. Thank you, Polybius!! <3

going under the cut, because this is really long and I talk way too much.

show your wallpaper and the last song you listened to.

my desktop background is actually just this edit. The last song I listened to was "You'd Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)" by Waterparks.

currently reading?

Archenemies by Marissa Meyer for the 2nd or 3rd time. I ran out of books I hadn't read yet, so I'm rereading some of my 230-ish books.

last movie?

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. I really liked it!!

last show?

Critical Role Campaign 1. I watched an episode for the first time in over a month on Monday, and I'm so glad I did. I missed my emotional support dumbasses. /lh

craving?

uhhh... good italian food. My favorite restaurant in the world is back in my uni town, and I miss it dearly.

what are you wearing right now?

blue tie-dye-looking sweatpants and critical role merch t-shirt that my sister got me for christmas. specifically the Mollymauk one.

how tall are you?

5'10" and very happy about it.

piercings?

None, and I don't plan on getting any. I could not be trusted to take very good care of them.

tattoos?

None, but I'm trying to work up the courage to get one someday. Specifically a sword wrapped in rose vines on my left forearm.

glasses or contacts?

Neither.

last thing you ate?

a really disappointing mini doughnut, followed by honey nut cheerios.

favorite color?

black, red, and royal blue

current obsession?

idk. I'm kind of between super intense hyperfixations recently. But my most recent ones have been Divinity: Original Sin, ts4, and Critical Role.

any pets?

Two cats, 4-year old bonded brothers named Loki and Charlie.

favorite fictional character?

Don't you dare make me choose just one!! But I'm gonna say Vax from CR1, Caleb, Molly, and Beau (and Essek) from CR2, Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa from Six of Crows, Nikolai Lantsov from any of the Grishaverse books, Sherlock Holmes (basically any version, but the original ACD stories are my faves), Percy Jackson + Anabeth Chase.

last place you traveled?

Brookfield, Illinois to see the Brookfield Zoo. It was great, and I have some lovely pictures.

I'll tag @salemssimblr @literalite @apricote @stinkrascal @wildmelon @wavvi @simelune @void-critters and anyone who wants to do this but hasn't been tagged!

#tag game #morrigan.txt #get to know me tag

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petrichoraline · 9 months

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why do you think everyone is so hyped up for OF? i'm not really a fan of any of the pairings or storylines like this one so i'm just here like enjoying seeing all the mutuals lose their minds lmao without really getting it i guess

took me a bit to answer because i wanted to make sure to find this post to link, i remembered it as a very nice and insightful post but for the most part it goes a bit off-topic, the answer is basicaly in the last few sentences (i do recommend going through it though!!)

i personally might be in the same boat as you, dear, as i just got reminded of the show today and my dash won't let me forget about it BUT MY MIND IS ON HIDDEN AGENDA. WHERE EVERYONE'S WAS JUST YESTERDAY i cannot keep up with this fandom goodness gracious

i was excited way back when it was announced but it was never at the level of people who'd get asked what they're most excited for from the gmm23 lineup and everyone and their mom's answer was ONLY FRIENDS DUH..with time my enthusiasm kinda faded out and was replaced by, dare i say, annoyance. it's natural when you aren't as hyped about smth as everyone else seems to be. at times i do get a bit more excited though! who knows, i might be unbearable once the show drops hahah, i haven't really gotten myself acquainted with the characters, i avoid speculating and making up theories so i hope whatever only friends turns out to be, it's fun 😊

but yeah, i think people are excited about the drama of it all. p'jojo has been teasing non-stop, it will give us favourite actors in messy relationships not contained within their assigned pair but with everyone and anyone else. it gives off the feeling a crossover does though it isn't one. seeing neo who only got a more seirous role just this past year with the eclipse as a pos gremlin wreaking havoc is new and exciting! mark as a sad pining bub that will undeniably make us scream "love, do BETTER"? EXCITING. topmew seem like they're gonna bring so much angst to the table in a more horifying way than the melancholy that sanray seem to promise. firstkhao are the basic beloved pair that everyone would love watching even if they don't tune in for them specifically - theyre great actors who also have amazing chemistry with each other and we have proof they will bring their all into it. smth else that goes for them is the fact many want to see them go beyond what the eclipse fave them in terms of opportunities to be intimate. force is about to give villain, I can feel it, and as much as it scares me I think it's very intriguing. forcebook are another established couple who are besties irl and have shown theyre comfortable and can bring that spark, this show gives us the chance to witness just how far that actor compatibility can take their performance. and markneo!! theyre absolutely a wild card. many of us are fond of them because of their memorable side roles but we haven't seen them doing anything spicy with their established partners (louis and ford). and that is another thing, theyre a completely fresh pair unlike the other two so we don't know exactly what they're capable of or how they act off of each other, that's also super fun to anticipate. I personally am going wild about papang becoming a part of the mess as a part of nick's plot, there seems to be a wlw pair too, jennie is also present - there are plenty of smaller appearances and details aside from the main couples and their plots that make viewers curious. yes, sex portrayed by fave actors who dont usually portray those scenes is a big deal but it's not just that, boundaries are being pushed with this show and the crew and cast seem incredibly excited to be working on it. it feels like a passion project and that enthusiasm gets to the fans as well. it's true however that many will be disappointed because they keep projecting their ideas of what the show should and would be on it and it simply can't be everything at once. a part of the overall excitement comes from the fandom discussions and participation but that is what gets theories to evolve and expectations to grow which is risky.

tldr: favourite actors in roles that show them either build on their already established chemistry or challenging an inexplored part of their acting skill; a big bunch of said actors tangled up in dramatic scandals - everyone is involved with everyone, gives a collab vibe; jojo's unique lens and directing style; other actors and plots that are yet unrevealed etc.

that's what I've noticed at least 😁 sorry to go on a tangent and thank you sincerely for the ask, hope you get to enjoy the show! i'm sure there will be plenty to appreciate about it even if the premise isn't your cup of tea 💗 and enjoy everyone having fun with it, when one's moots are happy one should also be happy 🥰 even if it can get a bit much lol we'll be getting some yummy meta and gifsets so we're winning anyways ✌️feel free to update me on your feelings on it haha, I'd love to hear from you again 💓

#petri replies #loveee getting these asks sm i cant differentiate who sends which anonymous asks but these asking for my opinions on things #are very considerate of my need to go yapayapayapa bout any topic #its incredibly sweet to be interested in my views thank you so much #no spell check this time lads you get this messy only friends style

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lokiinmediasideblog · 5 months

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sigyn stans are one of the most thin skinned people on the internet and they don't realize no one would mind their bland fave if they weren't the ones shoving her down everyone's throats, putting down other loki love interests to prop her up as the only one who can love him right, throwing fits when she's absent from loki media as if the actual myth sigyn wasn't a very minor character that only appears in one myth, and finding ways to shoehorn her in every loki story ever even when she wouldn't fit. then they have the gal of acting like people being fed with her and her stans is misogyny or feeling threatened by her non existent presence, with a side of projection in accusing those who dislike her of wanting their self insert oc to bang loki instead when sigyn is the ultimate self insert oc. like, cmon, you can't claim that you ship loki and sigyn because you like the way their personalities match when sigyn canonically doesn't have one (unless you consider "misogynistic to other women" a personality)

Exactly, and this is to clarify for those lacking context, I am talking about Marvel's Sigyn. Interpret the myths however you want.

Being misogynistic to other women and ridiculously unintelligent and waifish caricature of women (she was given a way out on a silver platter and everyone was begging her to take it) are her only personality traits. Marvel's Sigyn was written by cishet white men that thought it was "saintly" to stay with abusers. I really hate how it's treated as "saintly" rather than as a neutral trait. By that definition, I am also "a saint" due to past experiences. I will never get over j*nquilcl*gane praising Marvel Sigyn slut-shaming Amora and Lorelei, and Sigyn being glad that Amora is being given off to a giant forcefully in "Ages of Thunder."

Also, if you look that user up on Tumblr (I think her blocking me, allowed this to show up in the top results lol), she harrassed an RP blog for shipping comics-based Doomki in and was very gross about it. The way she constantly accuses everyone that doesn't care for their prop of a character as "lusting over Loki" is nasty and disgusting.

I got accused of "lusting over Loki" for pointing out that Vali being considered Loki's son is a transcription error and thus he's actually Odin's son (so she's not accurate either), and asking why she's losing her shit over people using myth-based names for children OCs for their ships. Also, she just makes shit up such as "Sigyn is associated with foxes."

Like I love Loki, like yes, he's pretty, but I just project traumas onto him and like reading meta and fic about him. And I'd be very disappointed in TH if he dared to think of cheating on ZA with me.

I have no idea why I could see her replies to my submission to an ask blog (seems like they finally posted it lol, took a long time, it was in response to someone complaining about Ikol for "having their friends beat up Sigyn" when Sigyn and the exes tied him up to hang from the ceiling of a warehouse, and attacked Ikol's friends).

Example of a Sygin stan being gross to a Doomki RP blog:

#jonquilclegane #she's the fucking worst #earth 616 #comics!sigyn #anti logyn #comics!loki #fandom wank #marvel comics #anon asks

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cangrellesteponme · 1 year

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What disappointed you about She-Ra?

well. for context, i got into she-ra during the release of its last season. so i bingewatched it all, as one does. the show's not bad - it's disappointing in many ways, and the writing is not exactly stellar, but it gets the job done, has a few nice twists, and okay-ish world building. plus, it's pretty.

HOWEVER. when multiple people have the fucking audacity to recommend it for "diversity" when it very much fails to deliver... that gets on my nerves.

(i'm going to complain about racism and white bs in relation queerness. and i'm not being articulate or moderate about it.)

this isn't about the queer rep. i'm perfectly fine with it and i have zero issues with it in she-ra. i'm pissed because i am black and autistic and allistic white queers dared recommend it to me, and many others like me, saying that i was included in that show's rep. that entrapta's characterisation and treatment weren't vile and dehumanising. that the conditionally positive representation of people of colour was good, diverse, well-researched and beautifully executed. i'm very sorry (i'm not.) but if your idea of positive, ground-breaking representation that will help black people feel more seen and loved is only showing black people presenting in ways we're taught to adopt to be seen as non-threatening... that's shit rep. but i can deal with that. the worst part is, of course, catra and adora, and the inevitable stereotypes and objectification of women of colour in queer circles that gets excused or overlooked because "we're not like dirty white men"... the way this was done in canon and the way the fandom received it just has that vibe of white sapphics who are way too into rev girl utena and way too into woc. so that gave me very big, very bad feelings. but that's just how queer fandoms are. most people are white. that gets uncomfortable at times. it happens. it's overall still bearable and i can live with it.

but unfortunately, it was not just a vibe!! these hoes are fr racist actually. i'm not going to go tell the whole thing because i don't have that kind of energy but there was a whole racist joke moment with the she-ra crew... which was not handled well. like, handled poorly enough for me to know with absolute certitude that every single person in that room is not good to black people. which. i. i was not surprised but y'all. why do all of your fave queer creators have so much racial prejudice in their bigoted little bones???

anyway that's pretty much it lmao she-ra's not as good as y'all said and it's worse than i expected in many ways. i still think it's an okay show lmao

#not tagging much because this is very negative ofc #ota's ask answers

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linalilia · 2 years

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I've watched a few videos for MILGRAM now! So how about Haruka, Mahiru and Yuno for the character bingo? :0

YOU REALLY GOT ALMOST ALL MY FAVES HUH..

haruka. OH GOD HARUKA. man. many thoughts, i have many thoughts about this guy. i'm gonna be honest, when i first heard about him, i was like "ah. so he's just a sad boy with mommy issues. okay." I ALSO THOUGHT HE WAS THE "PROTAGONIST"?? I REALLY JUST IGNORED ES DJDKSDLGJFD. so yeah, i wasn't that interested in him at first and even disliked him because of the animals part. as someone who has many pets that part made me a bit anxious but as i learned more about him.. yeah. yeah, i actually like him. STILL WANT TO PUT HIM IN A SALAD SPINNER. I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE NICE. i watched his second drama with eng subs recently though.. i really sat there like "my boy, i ordered your acrylic figure and it's supposed to come soon. and you dare to disappoint me like this??" MY MOM ACTUALLY JOKED ABOUT ME PUTTING HIS FIGURE IN A CORNER WHEN IT ARRIVES TO "PUNISH" HIM 😭😭 okay, okay, it wasn't really a disappointment, but.. yeah. this guy is literally the "look, a little guy!! oh, he's a bit fucked up actually.." meme.

YUNO. GIRLBOSS. i love her so much, she's so pretty and she's such a good character!! her second mv really shows how well-written she is.. the aesthetic of her mvs is so good too.. her acting like this carefree and cheerful girl, but her real personality being much colder and her feeling empty inside.. WOW. and her saying that she doesn't need a reason for her actions is actually so interesting? like usually characters immediately go "okay, here's my tragic backstory, forgive me now please" in situations like this, but yuno really went "i don't have a reason. and even if i do, why should i tell you" OKAY QUEEN. IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE WITH US. BUT there's this one moment, i feel like i should've picked "canon isn't real" for her too.. i love yuno as a character a lot, but at the same time.. if her crime really is what most theories say (and i think it was confirmed in the second drama, if i'm not wrong), then it kinda makes her case a bit boring? like we have characters who did really interesting and TERRIFYING crimes, but then here's yuno.. and she didn't really do anything wrong? i don't know much about how her case would go in japan, like is it legal or not, but still, i doubt that she should be in a place like milgram for that. tbh i really wanted her crime to be something completely different maybe a "black widow" type of character, haha.. because it would at least explain why she's here.. but if her crime really is not that special, it turns out to be kinda underwhelming in my opinion :( so at the same time i REALLY hope that people are gonna vote her innocent because she does not deserve to be voted guilty at all, but also.. it just doesn't feel right, like THERE MUST BE MORE. like yuno's case is not that bad at all compared to other crimes, IT'S NOT EVEN A CRIME, so what is she even doing here? anyway, i love her, yuno really wakes up every day and chooses to slay and i love that for her.

MAHIRUUUUUU. MAHIRU. I LOVE HER. SHE'S GOOD. of course someone who made an oc like allen and so many other similar ocs would say that listen, i have a weakness haha get it like haruka's mv for characters who have big sister energy, characters who are obsessed with the concept of love AND i love characters with the same hair color (even though she's not really blonde.. i think. she does look blonde in official art, but her hair color is a bit different in her mv?) SHE REALLY GOT THE WHOLE BINGO. i love her character so much, she's so goofy 😭😭 but also those moments that make you feel like she's kinda.. trying to repress the memory of her crime in a way.. yeah, those are good. like mahiru acts like such a silly character who's always like "anyway do you have a crush on anyone? <3" but when someone asks her about her crime, she's like ".. ah, yeah, i guess i did do that". i can relate tbh. about the fandom being mean, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE GUILTY VOTE AT ALL. even if those theories about her are correct, i still don't think she should suffer like this? haha thank you kotoko.. like it's a hard pill to swallow, but it must be said that i doubt mahiru did those things on purpose and her face in the end of that mv really says that. HER COVER OF PSYCHOGRAM THOUGH.. y-yeah, i'm not sure what are they trying to do with her, like is she really supposed to be a yandere or they just want to make us think she is one. anyway, i'm a mahiru apologist <3

#thank you mom for listening to me ramble about milgram btw #honestly i should probably make a 'what my mom thinks about milgram characters' post. SHE ALSO STARTED COMING UP WITH THEORIES ABOUT THEM #also. yeah. i kin haruka and mahiru.#IT'S NOT MY FAULT OKAY I ALREADY FOUND MAHIRU RELATABLE AND I GOT HER ON MANY KIN ASSIGNMENT QUIZZES.#lina plays ask games #lina's friends!#friend: aurora! 🌠

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obey-asmo · 2 years

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so i was just thinking about mc dating another demon (NOT THE DEMON BROTHERS/UNDATEBLES) + how everyone would react, i can just imagine lucifer's pride being crushed because mc picked a LOWER LEVEL DEMON OVER HIM ):<

LUCIFER

Man is wrath

He's absolutely crushed but his anger is the scariest thing ever

Firstly he would 100% ignore the relationship you have with the lower level demon and treat you like normal.

Flirting and all

But once he sees you two holding hands and kissing in front of him?

He'll explode

"A lower level demon? You chose that over me?"

He would, after this outburst, never speak to you again and if he had to it would be so formal

Sometimes he would wonder if he was the problem, did he push you away...?

He regrets the way he acted but he just can't bring himself to say sorry

So your relationship remains strained

MAMMON

He is petty.

King of pettiness

How dare she choose a lowly demon over me, the first demon she ever made a pact with me

He would ignore you and even when he does reply, it would be really mean

Not playful anymore and very vicious

After some time he would become territorial

So you'll be hanging out with Mammon and he'll put his arm around you

Or speak up for you and say things like, "actually if you knew MC, they don't ...."

Constantly trying to have a dick measuring contest of who is better friends with MC and who knows MC best

He obviously thinks he's the best

LEVIATHAN

He's so upset but he won't let it show

If MC is happy, I'm happy

Spends a lot more time alone in his room and basically avoids you because he is hurt

He really liked you but it was his fault that you found someone else

He just never spoke up, never told you about how he feels

He would stare at the two of you because he's jealous

Can you imagine the longing? Wistfulness? Pain?

His self-esteem would plummet and he would constantly ask himself why he wasn't good enough

SATAN

To some extent, he doesn't care (or so he insists he doesn't...)

But when he does see you and the other demon together, he glares

Constantly

But never when you're looking

With you, he treats you as usual but everyone can see the way he looks at you, how he's so much nicer to you than anyone else, regardless of your relationship status

ASMODEUS

Homewrecker

He would 100% come out and tell you to dump the demon and be with him

He would fight for you

Also no boundaries but also man, he knows what he wants and he'll be damned if he doesn't get it

Extremely jealous and petty

BEELZEBUB

Eats a lot less

He gyms a lot more too

That's how he deals with his unrequited feelings

Poor guy

He's pretty normal otherwise

You noticed that he ate a lot less and didn't care for snacks, but he seemed ok

He also cannot be alone in a room with you

He just can't trust himself anymore

Not when it comes to you not being his

BELPHEGOR

Stares a lot

At first, you thought it was him sleeping with his eyes open

But no

He's staring in disappointment

He treats you normally and also tends to avoid being alone with you

But he's near-silent when you're with the other man

He also dreams of you

A lot

I recently had to repost a post. sigh. why tumblr :(

(you guys should check it out if you want... it is personally my fave post, kinda nsfw but fluffy. You can access it here)

anyway hope you liked this anon.

bee :)

MASTERLIST

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twistedmusings · 3 years

Text

Reading Between The Lines

A/N: I feel bad whenever I say 'hey here is what I am working on' and then my muses tell me 'no...this is what you are working on'. It's like my brain can't concentrate on one thing entirely q wq. In my defense though, I'm exploring my twst faves...and Cater may be a runner up to Vil...

Warnings: Dry humping, dirty talking and a quick handjob just as unsatisfying and ungratifying as Cater feeling like maybe he shouldn't have let you go just yet.

“Whoops.”

Cater’s phone case cracked as it hit the floor, eyes locking with yours as you pull away from the Heartslabyul second year. Why had he even dropped his phone in the first place? The case had cost a lot and he had queued up for hours to get it, there should have been no reason for him to drop it.

Maybe the shock from seeing you in Heartslabyul?

No, that was normal. You were friends with Ace and Deuce after all so your presence in Heartslabyul was normal.

Maybe from seeing you in a bedroom that wasn’t a first year room?

He was coming to check up on a second year who had mentioned something about needing help in Astrology so Riddle had instructed Cater to help the guy out. The ‘strict Queen’ was aiming for the highest grade among the dorms, after all. So he was just carrying out his duty as an upperclassman!

So seeing you here, in this second year’s room, shirt around your elbows as a pair of hands--

that weren’t his--gently wrapped themselves around your waist was probably what made him drop his case.

Good to know, if he had come to that conclusion at any other time that you weren’t here, he might have said something mean to his lower-class men.

You move to fix your shirt as the second year rushes to apologize, walking up to him and spouting words Cater wouldn’t bother to hear. His eyes kept staring as you fixed yourself up to look a tad more proper than how he had found you.

It wasn’t like the sight of you in that state was unfamiliar to him, he just hadn’t seen it in a long time.

“Please just keep it between us, Cater-san! I don’t know what I’d do if the dorm head found out about this.”

He snaps out of his trance, looking down at the second year before grinning as he let out a slow hum, pretending to mull the request over in his head.

“Should I? If I remember correctly...Rule 345--Only when the sky turns red as it is dawning can a romantic partner be brought--”

“I--I’ll tell the dorm leader that you helped me with class!”

Cater grins, “That’s one way to make it up to me~ I guess for now I should leave you with a warning, right?” he tilts his head to call out to you, “The same goes for you [Y/N]-san! I can’t have you getting someone other than Ace and Deuce in trouble!”

He can't help but feel a sense of pride when you chuckle at what he had said, turning around to give him a peace sign as you walk by the second year.

“I’ll try to do an effort to hide in the closet next time.”

The second year takes your hand and kisses it, apologizing for the trouble and closing his eyes when your hands cup his cheek and pull him in for a kiss, the action making Cater look down at his phone and open whatever app he saw first.

You wave goodbye as Cater closes the door quickly, not giving you a chance to look at your second year lover fully as the both of you walk down the corridors of Heartslabyul in silence.

“So.”

“Hm?”

Green eyes keep looking at his phone, scrolling through Magicam absentmindedly but sparring you one look as he sees you scratching at a hickey--he would have left a bigger one-- the second year had left behind.

“Was he any good?”

In his defense, what had started between you two was clearly labeled as a ‘no feelings allowed, we are just here to have fun’ relationship. You seemed to understand his nature better than most and were down for something that wasn’t super serious and borderline erotic in a sense.

Cater was sure that you two had done it in at least one surface in every common room in Heartslabyul. The thought kept him awake at night, actually.

“Was he any good…” you repeat the question, “As good as I’m going to get from a second year.”

“Oh the poor guy.” Cater can’t help the snort that escapes him as you two walk down a set of stairs leading to the dorm’s entrance, “It is surprising you went for him, didn’t you mention that you liked the older type?”

“Well after a certain ‘older type’ decided to end things, I thought I should try my hand at something different. Change my ways, you know?”

He didn’t know. Cater had no idea what you were talking about, in fact. Why would you have to change your ways for anyone? You were amazing, interesting, entertaining and attention-grabbing all wrapped up in an older sibling type package that he had admitted to being attracted to when he had brought up the ‘friends with benefits’ proposition. If you changed in anyway he would be disappointed--

Dammit he was doing it again.

“If you want to start a relationship with someone in Heartslabyul, I would recommend Trey. He’s handsome, hardworking and you wouldn’t go hungry. Perfect man material right there.”

Cater knew that the small jab was directed at him so he decided to switch subjects, preferring not to linger in the awkward feeling that came with the consequences of his actions.

He ended things because he had broken the rules you both had set in place. Feelings weren't allowed and yet he had let them burrow deep inside his heart and fester like some sort of unknown virus. Cater didn't care for them so he nipped the problem in the bud, broke things off in an amicable manner and moved on.

But, like with everything in his life, it had all been an act.

If it had been just the sex keeping him awake, he would have understood. He's a healthy young man and some of the activities you two engaged in would make any first year jealous. And for a while the memories of you warming his bed generally did start to make him yearn for your warmth.

It was the possibilities of what you could have had that were driving him insane.

Would you have said no to a date? The only thing you two did when you were alone were have sex, make fun of Magicam models, sleep and then have sex some more so surely you would have liked a change of scenery as well.

But he didn't know you as much as he wished he did. Nights in his bed had been spent tossing and turning as to what your answer would have been. Why did he even care? You both still hung out, you still had his number, it wasn't like either of you were dead to each other!

Cater just didn't know how to react to you seeing someone else, if that is what you were even doing in the first place.

"Trey-senpai? I guess...he is rather sweet, isn't he?"

"In more ways than one."

"...but I will have to pass." you rub the back of your neck, "You know I don't like sweets."

The clock strikes ten as Cater's eyes take all of you in, his mind blanking out for a response before he clicks his tongue and points behind him.

"Say, Prefect, I think you may have left something in my room. Mind if I give it to you now?"

-----

"Oh. Your case cracked."

"Yeah. Dropped my phone. Bummer, huh?"

"Here I thought you held onto that thing for dear life, can I see it?"

Cater laughs as he takes his phone out of his back pocket and hands it to you, turning back to dig in his drawer for the sole sock that you had left about a month ago.

Who was he bullshitting? He was panicking, plain and simple. Here he was, rummaging through his drawer like an idiot as he pretended to have a sock that he knew he didn't have all to keep you with him for a couple more minutes.

Stars, who was he? He didn't know himself anymore.

“And...dammit.” he laughs as he closes the bottom drawer of his heart closet, “Couldn’t find it. I’m sorry [Y/N]-chan, I shouldn’t have taken your time like that. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorm...or maybe you wanna talk on the phone while you walk there?”

He goes to grab his phone but stops as he turns to look at you, your fingers tracing the giant crack on the case before tapping it twice in quick succession.

“[Y/N]--”

“We both really messed up, huh?”

Cater blinks as your eyes stare at him as if, for a brief moment, you could look through him. Through the act, the apathy, the very thing that was keeping him at the seams but also making him feel like he would burst from the inside out.

“...what do you mean?”

You keep gazing at him for a couple of seconds before smiling as you hold up the phone.

“I shouldn’t have snuck into Heartslabyul to just get a need met...and you shouldn’t have walked into that poor student’s room without knocking.” you wave the phone around, “Now your precious item is broken.”

The conversation didn’t feel right. It felt as if you were saying something else and all Cater needed to do was read in between the lines.

But he refused to, he didn’t want to go below surface level. Everything would get so much more complicated if you both took that plunge.

Yet he was feeling daring, the smile on your face a clear challenge as he walked over to you and grabbed the edge of his phone.

“Maybe I wanted to break it.”

Silence reigns in the room as you two stare at each other, both of your hands holding onto the edge of his phone and daring the other to let go. He smiles and tugs on his edge, the movement effortlessly pulling you towards him as you snicker when the edge of your foot touches his.

“Cater.” you whisper as your hands slowly let go of the phone.

“Yes?” he whispers back, purposefully leaning over you as he places the phone on his desk.

“Nothing. I just like saying your name.”

Whether he started it or you started it honestly didn’t matter to him, the only thing Cater cared about was pulling you close and pressing his lips against yours so he could stop listening to all of your complicated sentences.

He didn’t understand them, he didn’t understand you.

And yet you seemed to understand him probably better than he understood himself.

Arms are around his neck as you pull him close, Cater slowly walking you back to his bed as the back of your knees hit the comforter which causes both of you to fall down. You pull away to snicker at the action but are brought right back into the kiss by needy lips, Cater whispering your name as he pushed you upwards so that you would be pressed right against the wall--

He groans when you pull away and is surprised to be kissing a pair of fingers instead of your lips, your smile still as elusive as ever as you slowly push his face away.

“I have a lover, senpai.”

Cater rolls his eyes, “I don’t like those kinds of jokes.”

“I’m not joking. It’s late so I’m just going to go over to his room and tell him that you’ll cover for us, okay? Okay. ”

You pinch his nose as you try to push him away but find your wrists grabbed and locked in place, Cater giving you a hard glare as he presses his forehead against yours.

“I said I don’t like those kinds of jokes.” he leans in and gives you another kiss, “You’re not his lover.”

“Who says that?”

“[Y/N]-chan did.” Cater’s lips press against yours again as he makes his way down to the offending hickey the second year had left on you, “The way you talk about him, the way you weren’t even embarrassed at getting caught. You are toying with the heart of one of my second years and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”

He nips at the bruise before placing his lips on it, teeth gently opening up more blood vessels to form a much darker shade on your skin than what was left there before.

“Is that all you can’t forgive me for?”

Cater smiles against your skin as he takes your wrists and leads your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling you into his lap as he answers your question with a kiss.

His tongue meets yours this time around, both of you giggling at the familiar taste. When was the last time you two had kissed like this? Nevermind that, the question was already too annoying to think about. Instead, Cater moves his hips upwards as he groans into your lips at the wanted friction.

He takes a hold of your hips as he pushes you down to meet him mid-movement, his hips rolling up as yours are pushed down. The movement is sloppy and the action itself feels so unsatisfying but Cater almost feels as if this is the only thing he deserves from you. If either of you enjoyed this it would mean you two went too far--

“Haha...look at your face.”

Green eyes look at you as you cup the man’s face, pressing a gentle kiss on his nose as you start to roll your hips on his, meeting him halfway.

“You probably want to cum inside, right Cater-senpai?”

His hips jump at the mere thought, the idea of you laying on your side as his cum drips down from your sex all the way down your thighs.

“We did it with protection a lot ~We always followed the rules of our agreement…”

Hands dive between you two, Cater’s eyes never leaving yours as he works to get his pants off while his hands try to unbutton yours as well. You smile and meet him halfway again, taking your own bottoms off and tossing them carelessly to the side as you both are left in nothing but your underwear.

“Every time we did it--you always looked like you wanted to do something else--”

Cater takes the chance of you biting your lower lip to go a bit faster, the tip of his cock rubbing against you at a faster speed as he changed position quickly and hooked your knees over his elbows.

“And at first---at first I thought it was just you getting bored…”

He gasps when two of your fingers press right at the tip of his cock, the way he was moving his hips allowing it to rub comfortably against the padding of your fingers as you gently cooed at the precum gathering there.

“But one time I was able to see it. See what you really wanted--!”

His own hand makes his way in between the mess of hips and stuttered movements, his fingers tracing a familiar pattern up and down your sex as he feels you pull him out of his boxers and start to pump in rhythm.

“If...If you cum after me...I’ll let you cum inside...”

It’s starting to get hotter, Cater feels like he can see his own breath fogging up his vision.

“Count it as reward…”

The coil in his stomach is tightening, your hands moving faster as his stutters with the rhythm you were setting.

“For being honest with me at least one time.”

It’s a sticky mess, the white stuff sticking to your belly and his as he rides out his orgasm against your hand and stopping altogether when the feeling gets too much. His fingers work overtime before your back arches and you give into yours as well, your toes curling for a moment before your feet hit the mattress unceremoniously.

He didn’t know where in the world that had come from or what possessed you to talk like that...but that was probably the hardest he had released in the month you two stopped interacting with one another.

Cater looks at the mess once again before moving to clean it up, stopping only when he feels a hand tug at the front of his shirt and a pair of lips meeting his all over again.

“Offer is still on the table, senpai.”

You unbutton the first few buttons of your shirt, smiling as larger hands batted yours away to continue the job.

“Please do your best to hold out longer.”

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst imagines #twst smut #cater diamond #cater x reader #twst mc #adult section #//rushed and messy...but I bet that is what making out with Cater is like

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seventhstar · 2 years

Text

End of Year Reading Tag, which I am doing because I feel like it. You know how people will say "consider yourself tagged if you see this?" @why-the-heck-not I am taking you up on your offer.

did you reach your reading goal for the year (if you had one)?

I did! Actually I met my goal multiple times. I started with a goal of 50, hit it well before 2021 was over, and raised it a couple more times. My final goal was 85, and I ended up reading 88 books!

what are your top 3 books you read this year?

Oof, that is a hard question, because I already put out my top ten list this year and even with counting series I read as one book, I struggled hard to cut it down to ten. I'll give it a shot...

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo

what’s a book that you didn’t expect to enjoy quite so much going in?

Hmm. Mexican Gothic, by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, for the simple reason that I don't usually read horror. I picked this up on a whim and enjoyed it a lot, to the point where I'm going to try to be more open-minded about horror as a genre in the future.

were there any books that didn’t live up to your expectations?

My biggest disappointments this year were Jade Fire Gold by June CL Tan and Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. These were both YA novels--actually, a lot of books I didn't like this year were YA, which makes me think I need to read fewer YA novels--that didn't work for me and overall didn't live up to the massive hype surrounding them.

did you reread any old faves? If so, which one was your favourite?

I reread shockingly few books this year! But I would have to go with Hogfather by Terry Pratchett, which I reread every December, and which is one of my favorite books ever. It is full of moments that have lingered in my brain since I read them, like smoke in a candle if you smother it by putting on a lid.

did you dnf any books?

Three! The Duke's Wager by Edith Layton, because both the love interests were loathsome and I did not like either of them enough to continue; Daring and the Duke, because I didn't like the first couple chapters; and Freed by E.L. James, because after reading the first five 50sog books, my friends finally convinced me to love myself and stop.

did you read any books outside your usual preferred genre(s)?

This year actually marked my return to my preferred genres, fantasy and science fiction. Though I did read a lot more adult SF/F compared to YA. I did read more contemporary romances, which was a change--I usually only read historical romances and usually only ones set in regency England.

what was your predominant format this year?

43/88 books I read were e-books, the remaining 45 were physical. I read a lot of library books in the first half of the year and then switched to e-books once I was traveling.

what’s the longest book you read this year?

Probably the fan translation of Heaven Official's Blessing, which is fiendishly long.

what are your top 3 anticipated 2022 releases?

Okay, I'm going to cheat and do three new releases and three sequels to books I've already read.

New releases: Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories edited by Yu Chen and Regina Kanyu Wang

Sequels: Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir Into the Riverlands by Nghi Vo The Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri

what books from your tbr did you not get to this year, but are excited to read in 2022?

Well, I'd like to finish the two series I started in 2022 that I didn't finish. So Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert and The Hellion's Waltz by Olivia Waite.

In addition: The Lady or the Lion by Aamna Qureshi (Pakistani-inspired fantasy!!!) The Councillor by E.J. Beaton (I bought two copies of this one and didn't get around to it!!!) The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun (I wanted to read it but couldn't bring myself to buy it, but then it went on sale recently so now I have it!)

#jellyfish reads

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dreaminpeaches · 3 years

Text

(Welcome to the daydream drawing board, a tag where I share some my newest ideas not all of these ideas will be thought out--mostly just quick points-- but it's just nice to have them some where...oof)

TW: angst, mention of domestic abuse, child abuse, alcohol mentioned, father mentioned, bullying and guilt...

(Be sure you're mentally ready, you can come back later or take breaks while reading, it's kind of long...oof)

The most recent concept I dreamed up is about a couple consisting of a reformed/"retired" highschool bully/jock who falls for the new nerdy woman in town, this paracosm is mildly inspired by A Silent Voice, Bojack Horseman and Strange things (but only like a little bit)

Beau

He was the high school quarterback and star player

He was super popular and everyone wanted to be around him

His fave after school activities where smoking under the blenchers (after practice), going out to parties, making out with hotest girls in school (usually the new girls), bullying the weaker "outcast" kids, flirting with older women into getting him and his friends alcohol, and other dumb jock stuff

Beau always made fun of the weird nerdy kids; giving them swirlies, stuffing them in lockers, hiding their belongs (glasses, inhalers, backpacks, calculators, handle gaming devices etc), and throwing a few knuckle sandwiches at them on his worst days.

Beau bullied other because he had a rough home life, his father was abusive and usually came home angry and would take out his anger on the family (, mostly Beau's mom)

Beau's parents had him at young age, Beau's dad had big dreams at becoming a famous author but had a hard time getting his books picked up and blamed his career failures on Beau

Beau would try to protect his family from his dad's outburst but the only person he could protect successful was his little brother, Devin.

When Beau would try to protect his mother he would get brutally beaten by his dad in process, sometimes he would get hit so bad that he blacked out, because of this Beau's mom would tell him go to the treehouse and take his little brother with him in hopes they wouldn't hear their parents fight

In the treehouse, Beau would read books to Devin to distract him from what was happening, one of Devin's favorite books was "Is there a horse in your house?" A simple book about looking for a horse in a house, Devin would always find this book funny and hearing his little brother's laugh made Beau feel better, so Beau wouldn't mind having to read it over and over again. (This was back when Beau was in early middle school and Dev was in kindergarten)

Beau and Dev knew it was "safe" to come out, when their mother said dinner was ready, but there would be some days where they end up sleeping in the treehouse and waking up to their mom telling them breakfast was ready and they had to eat quietly while their dad slept

It was in middle school, Beau started to bully other kids, he liked the power and feeling of being able to fight someone and win, to be the one to be feared instead of being afaird, it was addicting

Football became a better way to cope with his feeling but he still bullied none the less.

Football was the only time where his dad wasn't as much of jerk, it was almost like Beau's dad was felt like an actual father when watching football, and being on the football team was an achievement his dad was actually proud of beau for, so thanksgiving and super bowl season was a somewhat peaceful time

Around sophomore year his mother finally got away from her abusive husband, soon after Beau's mom fell in love with a nice man, who actually cared about her and they got married and had a daughter together who became Beau's little sister, Carrie whom he loves dearly..

Beau is super over protective of his family (protecting both his siblings from other bullies, ironically), to the point where even when his mom found a new lover, Beau still keep his guard up and because of this his step dad is kind of intimidated by him

Beau was able to bond with his step dad over cars and mechanics, a topic Beau was obsessed about since middle school because he would dream of building a car that would be able to drive him and his family far away from his father as possible without stopping

Beau's step dad owns a gas station/mechanics shop, Beau would help out in the shop on weekends when he was free and occasionally steal beer for parties.

Despite his bully/typical jock persona Beau is actually quite patient especially when it comes to younger kids

Due how stressful her home life was, Beau would take it upon himself to look after his little brother and do chores around the house when his mom was unable to, he would even cook dinner and breakfast (a skill he learned to do at an earlier age compared to his peers), his dad often called him a "Sissy" for doing so..

Beau never asked for allowance, since his family was kind of tight on money he felt bad for asking, so he just took lunch money and allowance from the kids he bullied. Money would go to grocery money, money to buy gifts for his mother/brother, money to help with rent , or money just to buy the new NFL game or some alcohol or cigarettes.

In his high school days , sometimes when Beau didn't want to deal with his dad/home life he would crash at friends place or stay over after a party but he would call up to make sure his little brother/mother/sister were okay

Beau started smoking on a dare, when he realized it kind help ease the mental pain, he started doing it for real (same with drinking)

Even Beau liked to drink, he never drove drunk or let his friends drive drunk, if was a party mostly consisting of his friends he would try his best to be the sober one to drive everyone home

Beau was set to be a big football star once he graduated highschool he even got into an ivy league school, but there was something stopping him from focusing fully on his studies, (that and the fact he kind of cheated since he let the nerds he bullied do most of his homework since he didn't have time or just do lazy to actually do it himself in highschool), so he ended up flunking out

During the time he dropped out his step dad needed an extra hand at the shop, so he thought might as well go back home

At first Beau thought his family would be disappointed in him but they couldn't be more happy that he was back home especially his siblings

It was when he returned to his hometown that he finally realized what was feeling was haunting him this whole time it was the feeling of guilt he had gotten from being a bully for so long. Since most of his jock friends were busy with their college career, it left him with little to no friends in his hometown, Everytime he saw a familiar face around town it was usually one of his former victims, seeing them would give him a weird sick oozey feeling in his stomach, and it didn't help that his step dad ran popular mechanic shop that was frequented by the locals, the feeling of guilt got so bad at times, he would stay home from work but wouldn't really tell his parents why out of fear that they would hate him.

So, when Beau meets the new woman in town, Bonnie who works at the comic book shop/arcade/maid cafe, who becomes the only person Beau can talk to in town besides his family, and he starts to fall for her. He feels conflicted because this would be someone he would totally bully in high school, but shes really so nice and sweet to him, does he really deserve girl that nice, what happens if she finds out about his past, will Bonnie still love him.

Beau makes it his mission to try and make amends with the people he has bullied over the years, at first he does this on his own (with a little help for Dev whose middle school age now), without Bonnie knowing but one of the nerds used to bully kind of sorta also gets a crush on Bonnie and feels like she's too good for Beau, and tries to expose him for the "fiend" he is. This leads to Beau having mental break down when he knows Bonnie knows about his past, but she comforts him and accepts him for who he is, and helps him try to make amends with his past victims...

Some people accept Beau's apology right away (understanding his background), others take a while, some don't forgive Beau at all, which he respectfully understands, he was kind of jerk

Oof, this is prolly gonna be the most heavy paracosm I have if I continue it, but if I do post about it's mostly gonna be fluffy light stuff--nerd/jock dynamic interactions, along with toll/smoll dynamic interactions. OH by the way this paracosm is set in the 80/90s maybe early 2000s because they don't use smartphones in this paracosm it's mostly payphones, landlines, VHS tapes, DVDs and tape records (but I will use modern music if and when I make a playlist, so it might be a mixed timeline) also I don't have a name for this paracosm might edit one in later...

#immersive daydreaming #paraportal #paracosm #daydream drawing board #tw: alchohol mention #tw: abuse #tw: heavy angst #tw: heavy topics #para: beau

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phantom-of-notre-dame · 4 years

Text

NEW

My live reaction to the West End production of The Grinning Man: Apeshit Edition (Act 2)

Labyrinth

Love the intro

But not the theremin, unfortunately. It sounds Off.

Louis Maskell send tweet

Why change the lyrics??? Bristol was literally perfect

These new lyrics make Grinpayne seem more selfish. Very out of character for him

Grinpayne, stop talking about the scorching thoughts. Only Dea can do that.

Don't like the new lyrics

Mr. Maskell, when do you breathe???

How fucking dare they change the Dea interlude so much automatic 2-point penalty

"Could seeeeeEeEeEe" OH SHIT

Why does the theremin sound so different?

No "little bottle"??? 1 point penalty

"And touch it with a heart that isn't blind" That's so fucking rude

Hate the new lyrics

No voice wiggle 😥

That sharp inhale was nice, though

RATING: 5/10 (after penalties)

Only a Clown

Why is there so much musical accompaniment? It's weird.

Ohhh afraid Hazlitt that's good shit

Ah, yes. Mario!Grinpayne

The theremin doesn't fit

Oh Hazlitt's death is so sudden when there's only audio

"In another world, he could be you and you could be him" OH SHIT THE PARALLELS

Sophia Mackay send tweet

Her voice is so strong holy shit

A FLUTE!

Barkilphedro seems overly excited about the boat

Hate the speed

Drums?

"Look around unhappy people" motif in the background? Yes, bitch!

Spike? Was Spike actually there or is this part of the storytelling?

A whole ass "Laughter is the Best Medicine" reprise??? HELL YES I love it

The return of Baaa-kilphedro

RATING: 7/10 (was 6, but Sophia Mackay)

Brand New World of Feeling (Reprise)

Grinpayne's just chilling

And then

GOOOOOD I WANT YOOUU

Josiana ma'am I am begging you once again

Mr. Maskell, when do you breathe?

There's a lot of dramatic music happening I guess the kiss is more intense in Lon Don

Scratchy violin

"Did this brute hurt you?" "~~Quite the opposite~~"

"He's wanted for questioning at the [?] Tower. The torture chamber, not the nightclub" What the fuck??? I hate these references to places.

The musicality's a lil different. Don't hate it

RATING: 5/10

The Smiling Song

Ewww Lon Don Angelica is not my fave

Where’s the Institute for Aristocratic Sociopaths in this production? Not Poland, that’s for sure

“Dea take me back to the place/ Where once we were lost in the snow” Oh my GOD I like this

I. Am. Smiling. You’re. Still. Smiling. Gri. Nning. Like. A. Bag. Of. ~~Peeearls~~

Aww, I miss possessed!Barkilphedro at “stolen away, the Day I was a Loooord”

Ooo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee

I’ve. Been. Smiled. At. You’ve. Been. Smiled. At. One. Small. Smile. Can. Change. Your. ~~Wooorld~~

David, if you’re going to call someone a “motherfucker” be just a *little* angry

Singing Grinpayne? He has a shirt now?

Asking for Dea 💖

He’s asking for something/someone else but I Cannot Hear Him

Hate the speed

“Woooah!” Grinpayne? What was That?

RATING: 4/10

A New Beginning

Dea seems horrified that Ursus have her Crimson Lethe I love that

I hate the way Sanne says “understand” no one should say it like that (sorry bb)

“Your poison burned a hole in his heart” the rhythm is weird here? Can’t explain it

Don’t like the new lyrics

Loff

Sorry Sanne, you’re a little pitchy

That second “Because everything that lives in a love like that dies” was disappointing

“You hid the truth to save yourself” Drag him!

Sanne, bb, sometimes rounding your vowels is *not* the way to goo

Sean sounds younger? Less gruff.

Oh I love Dea’s new lyrics

A “Born Broken” reprise? Okay, I’m digging it!

I love a headstrong Dea

RATING: 5/10 this is too nice and too mean at the same time

The Last Kiss

I’ve listened to this one before, too

I do not like the way Sanne sounds. The rhythm is really rigid and the overly rounded vowels, bleh (sorry, bb)

“Dea you’re aLiIve ~~” Love that bit

Pitchy, Sanne (sorry, bb)

Grinpayne I will not tolerate this self-loathing

Hate the speed

Hazlitt calling his Son by his Name is giving me Feelings

"faAther~~"!

Hate the speed

“Fight for the future/ And fight for your dreams/ With the girl that you found in the snow” On God I love this line

It’s at the moment of my typing this that I have realized I also want “Burn Down the Fair” as a track on the album

Chaotic Sword fight Scene

Someone (I think Louis) makes a Noise and it’s perplexing me (2:28)

“FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT” damn Hazlitt

RATING: 6/10 (was 4, but Hazlitt Trelaw)

Give Me Back My Mother (Reprise)

“I remember… Help me, Dea” ❤

“No. Father. Ursus, not you. Please NOOO” Oh My Gooood I’m crying

Oooo the music during the cutting on God (1:03-1:10)

Hate the speed

Grinpayne’s vow is Too Fast, dammit

But the emotion, the growling

Okay the “my faaace” was weird

Sophia Mackay send tweet

Oh my Gooooood

!!!

RATING: 8/10 (was 9, but the speed)

The Smile on Your Face

On? or In?

Who is doing the baby noises if not Sanne?

Also, why baby noises here?

Than “we” ever dreamed? I love that

It is In

He’s not just your father, Dea

Okay, she gets it now

“Oh Dea, my love” holy SHIT

I knew they changed the “You didn’t cut my face” line but it still hurt

Louis’ CRYING I’m crying

Why’d the speed up the new motto, ew

A wild Mojo appears

RATING: 9/10 I’m crying in the club

Stars in the Sky (Reprise)

Dea’s soft “Father” !

I think it’s Dea shushing I love the gesture, tho

“My story ends here. Your story begins” oh my Gooood

Go. My children. Go!” Crying in the club

I can finally hear Louis after not being able to do so in Bristol

RATING: 7/10

#the grinning man #madeline's lon don reaction #lon don reactions

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hvitserkk · 5 years

Note

Just wanted to say thar your "i don't have love here" edit is absolutely amazing.what did you think of the episode?

Thank you! Although I’m sad now because I could’ve added the Dothraki, but when I was adding Jorah actually dying, I forgot cos it was too dark so I went to the next episode LOL

But thank you!

I really liked the episode here are some of my thoughts:

For the episode as a whole, this last week I was 100% on the “burn KL” bandwagon, but that was too much. Like it went bad fast. I didn’t expect that much damage. It was very sad to see the reactions of people in the city, Jon, Davos, Arya, Tyrion. Too see everything they’ve wanted just crumble literally to ash.

Here’s some thoughts on the characters:

Sandor - very sad about his death. I really like the convo he had with Arya about becoming him. Like his entire life was filled with rage and that lead him to lead a very lonely life. So sad he died in fire though.

Arya - I am glad she made it out alive, but I’m more glad that she wasn’t the one to kill Cersei!

Jon - I feel so bad for him. He chose Dany’s side and watch Varys be executed and I think on the scene where the sound was low and you could just hear him breathing, I think that was when he realized he did choose the wrong side. We know Jon has never wanted to be a leader at all, his whole life he’s been the “second” tier. I think it’s safe to say that he will probably end up on the throne.

Varys - Just want to say real quick, that I’ve seen a lot of people saying that his “men choose power” comment was like sexist, but I’m pretty sure he meant like “man kind”. Like the people choose who they want to lead, and it’s obvious people are choosing Jon. He wasn’t a fave of mine, but it was sad to see him go.

Cersei / Jamie - I am so glad that Cersei died. I wanted to her to suffer a worse fate, because imo, dying in Jamies arms was the best way to die for her. I really wanted him to kill her because, once again, I was on the bandwagon of “he loves Brienne and is going to KL to kill Cersei and said mean things to Brienne because he knew Dany would burn KL down”. So I was very sad to see that he would always love Cersei. I think that acting from Lena was the once of her best performances for GoT. Like he going from denial thinking the scorpions and Iron Fleet were going to save them and the fear finding out that Dany was winning and then her really crying trying to escape. I don’t like Cersei at all. I wanted her death to come like 4 seasons earlier, but Lena did amazing. As for Jamie, in the words of Tyra Banks “WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE YOU!”

Euron - finally. Wanted Jamie or Cersei to tell him he was never a King and was never going to be a father though.

Grey Worm - I am most disappointed in him. Even if Dany hadn’t gone mad, he really was the start of the massacre, because that’s what it was. The battle of KL went from just that, a battle. Dany won, and when she started burning down the place, the soldiers could have saved hundreds of people, like Jon and the Winterfell soldiers tried to do. I get 100% that he wanted to avenge Missandei, but Missandei’s entire life was filled with fear and hatred and that’s exactly what Grey Worm and Dany put KL through. If they would have stopped when the KL guard laid their weapons down, THAT would have been the vengeance Missandei would have wanted. They finally won what they had been fighting for this entire time.

Dany - Okay so before I start I want to say that Dany is my fave, I’m part of @targaryensource for Daenerys, so don’t send me any hate pls lol. Okay also before I start, I want to also say that I am 100% here for Mad Daenerys and that’s mostly because I have never been the viewer to want things to “change” or fit my views, ofc I have my own opinions and wants from shows, but I take the shows as they are!

So let’s start with the bells, I DO NOT think the sound of bells is what turned Dany mad, she didn’t her the dingle and was like ???!!! I think it’s what they represented and what that meant to her. Let’s start with her early life, her and Viserys spent their lives alone, their entire life, they had nothing. They were in hiding. I didn’t like Viserys but if we take into account why he was the way he was, then we can understand. Dany was the same, she feared Viserys and him releasing the “dragon”. Then she was forced to marry Drogo, and she fell in love with him and that was the first thing that was “hers” that she lost. She also lost her brother, and even though he was an abuser, that’s one of the only people she had.

Then she had the dragons. I don’t think she was so naive that she wouldn’t kill, but I think her killing that witch in order to bring the dragons was a big step for her character. So throughout the seasons she raised the dragons, and we can guess that she spent a lot of alone time, sitting by the fire with those dragons. Then two of them were murdered in front of her.

Skip to Jorah and Missandei, I could write an entire book on their relationship with Dany, but we know and once again, she lost something she never had before, love and friendship.

My timeline is all over the place but let me add in finding out her father really was this “mad king” and an overall terrible person. Finding out that her brother wasn’t the monster they mad him out to be. Those, good or bad, for her must have been devastating because again all she probably had growing up was her thoughts and memories of what they had / should have had.

I don’t want to really get into Jon x Dany, but I will say that the thought of her losing what she was raised her whole life believing was rightfully hers to someone she loved was also a big deal. He didn’t want it, but I think Varys said it right when he said “men choose”. Seems like every group Jon comes into contact with choose him over Dany, and she’s noticed. I don’t think it has anything to do with him being a man. Like look at Cersei, she’s had men, but she’s always in power. I think it’s because of who he is and what he’s been through. Everyone knows of the Starks and when Eddard and Robb both have done for Westeros, and specifically the North, so Jon is the next, even though he’s always been “the bastard”.

So I think that it wasn’t the jingle of bells that set her off, I think it was the thought of everything she had lost, now the people that essentially took it from her (not the people as individuals, but KL as the capital, as the symbolism) are giving up, but it’s still not enough.

Now don’t get me wrong, obviously she killed probably thousands of people due to hatred, BUT I’m just saying that her entire life she’s only ever had a handful of people care for her unconditionally, and even more recent, shown the unconditional loyalty to not only her cause, but to her. And I think that’s what sent her off, the bells signaling surrender, but that isn’t enough to make up for what she lost.

I’ve literally told all my GoT friends (literally two lol) that my wishes for the end is when Dany had that “dream” (vision?) when she was in the throne room, but left the throne and went to her baby and Drogo… remember that snowy scene? I want that to be re-done, but maybe like how everyone’s saying Jon kills her, like if Jon stabs her, and she stumbles into the throne room, and it’s not snow this time, it’s ashes and right as she touches the arm of the throne, she falls in front of the throne and dies. LOL that would be IT.

Okay so those are my thoughts, and like I said, I’m here for Mad Daenerys, I’m not one to make a fuss over shows, so I can fully appreciate and enjoy the series, even s8. I love it, I got the main things I’ve wanted so far, Cersei dying, Euron dying and since we won’t be getting Dany as queen, I’ll be happy with Jon.

#game of thrones #got spoilers #answered #anon

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