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hairmetal666 · 1 year

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It starts in Eddie's second senior year, close to the beginning of the semester. Eddie's in trig (again). He's good at math, but Mundy fucking sucks, always giving Eddie shit for breathing, or his shoes squeaking on the linoleum, or whatever, and he ends up with detention most days. So, he hardly ever shows and can't be bothered to do the homework, even though he knows the answers more often than not.

On this particular day, Mundy is in a bad mood, on Eddie's case way more than normal. In the heat of frustration, Eddie scrawls, "I fucking hate this class" on a scrap of notebook paper, and for reasons he can't begin to explain, leaves it folded on the window ledge. He doesn't think anyone will answer; fully expects the paper to be gone come morning with maybe another detention slip under his belt to show for it. He's a little flabbergasted, the next day, when the note is still there, and loses his mind a little when he sees the words "tell me about it" underneath his first message. He doesn't recognize the handwriting, sloping and a little looped, and for most of the class period, he's too bemused to respond. Right before the final bell rings he scrawls, "trig. You?" He leaves the paper on the ledge again. "Algebra 2 :(" is the response.

They keep it up, just a few words at first, before Eddie accidentally doodles on the page, and the other guy scribbles a hasty formula, the math spectacularly wrong. There's a little arrow leading to the words, "this shit sucks." Eddie re-writes the formula with the correct math, leaving careful notations of how and why. The next day he sees, "Shit, dude, I totally get this now. Mundy should retire and let you take over." Which pleases Eddie down to his core.

The messages get longer, nothing super personal, but complaints about life, math help, Eddie's silly little doodles, bad jokes, the slightly lewd drawings typical of teen boys. Eddie's never had a better attendance record in his life, but there are some days where his notes are left unopened. Most remarkably a couple week period before Thanksgiving, where he goes unanswered for so long he figures whatever thing they had going is done. But after the holiday, the notes start up again, with no acknowledgement they ever stopped. Eddie doesn't bother questioning it.

They keep it up almost all year, and they're definitely friends, even though they're totally anonymous. And that wouldn't have changed, except it's the day before spring break and Eddie's vibrating out of his skin with anticipation of the time off, so he forgets his dnd notebook in Mundy's class. He makes it all the way to Click's before he realizes, then sprints back across the school. He crashes through Mundy's door, tripping a little over his own feet.

"Sorry," he pants. "I just left--" he looks over to his desk, far corner right by the window, and then forgets every word he's ever known because Steve Harrington Steve Harrington King Steve, stares right back at him. And he just. He stops and fucking laughs, because all this time--this whole goddamn year--it's been Harrington he exchanged notes with. And sure, the jock's star has fallen in the last few months, with the breakup with Nancy and all that shit with Hargrove, but it's still Steve Harrington. With his big house and his fancy car and his girls. It's pretty Steve Harrington, the focus of Eddie's most hopeless daydreams.

He has a few seconds to see Harrington's hazel eyes go wide, before Eddie spins on his heel and makes a hasty exit. He absolutely doesn't spend the break thinking about the notes, matching what Harrington wrote with the gossip Eddie heard on him from the past few months.

Once break ends, he doesn't bother going to Mundy's class at all.

The Friday of the first week back, Eddie walks out to his van, only to find King Steve leaning up against it. He's doing that obnoxious thing where he has one leg bent, foot resting against the side panel, arms crossed over his chest, stupid hair falling in glorious cascades around his face. It's ridiculously, unfairly attractive.

"What do you want?" Eddie asks. He opens his front door without fully looking at Steve.

"Can we talk?"

Eddie snorts, "what could you and I possibly have to talk about."

Steve narrows his eyes. It's so bitchy and so fucking cute it makes Eddie queasy. "You know what."

"Enlighten me, Harrington."

"C'mon, man, the notes!"

"What about them?

"Don't be stupid, Munson, you know what. Why'd you stop?"

Eddie pulls a pack of camels and his lighter out of his jacket pocket. "Lost its appeal once I knew who was on the other side. Surprised you even want to keep it up now that you know you've been writing to the freak."

He pointedly ignores the little jolt Harrington gives at that, like the words hurt. Which is pretty rich from Steve Harrington, former #1 bully of Hawkins High.

"I've always known it was you," he says.

"You don't--wait what?"

I've known since, like, the first week, Munson."

"How??"

"What do you mean 'how,' dude, you're always drawing little pentagrams and d20's. Writing the word "Slayer" over and over. Who else would it be?"

And he can't even deal with the fact that Harrington knows what a d20 is (what the fuck) with everything else the other boy just said.

"I gotta go," is his only response. He ducks into his van, slamming the door basically in Harrington's face, before peeling out of the parking lot.

✏️✏️✏️✏️

It's the last day of school. Eddie's failed again. His grades, which weren't great to begin with, took a sharp nosedive after spring break, and he just can't wait to be done with this place for a few months. Harrington hasn't spoken to him again, and Eddie tries his hardest to ignore the other boy (aside from seeing him hanging out with Robin Buckley, a junior and a band geek, besides, and he forcibly has to remind himself that he doesn't care what Harrington does).

He slouches into his last math class of the year, slumping over in his seat. He rests his head on his desk, eyes blankly staring out the window as Mundy talks about what a joy most of them were to have in class. His eyes are unfocused, he contemplates a nap, and then he sees it. The tightly folded piece of paper resting on the window ledge.

Eddie almost doesn't take it. He almost ignores it, but he physically can't stop himself for reaching for it, unfolding it, staring at Harrington's now familiar handwriting.

Hey man, I'm pretty sure I fucked things up with us, and I owe you an apology. I've always known who you were, but you had no idea I was me. Buckley helped me see how that maybe freaked you out a little. I know I used to be a piece of shit. But I'm better--or I'm trying to be. And I'm so fucking sorry for the shit I did to you before and the things I didn't bother to stop. You don't owe me forgiveness, but you should know that I regret all of it. I liked passing notes with you. You made me laugh, and I don't know. It was nice to think someone liked me for reasons other than that I'm Steve Harrington, or whatever. I'd really like it if we could be friends. I get if you can't do that or don't want to.

Whatever the note actually ended with is scribbled out in pen so thick Eddie can't make it out.

All day he thinks about the note, the apology, all of it. Eddie thinks, if he's smart, he won't forgive Harrington. That he knows better than to trust him. But Eddie's never actually been that smart in this way, so he's not totally surprised to find himself walking to Steve's car after the last bell rings.

This time, Eddie's the one with his foot resting on the side panel of Steve's BMW, arms crossed over his chest. He doesn't have to wait long before Harrington makes his way to the car, chestnut hair dancing in the breeze, biceps on display in a short-sleeve polo. A little smile dances across his lips when he spots Eddie.

"So, you gonna tell me how you know what a d20 is, Harrington, or do I have to guess?" Eddie offers the other boy a cigarette.

"Babysitting?

"Babys--Are you serious??" Eddie splutters. Steve Harrington babysits. Steve Harrington babysits little dnd playing nerds. Steve Harrington wants to be his friend.

A full grin spreads across Steve's perfect face and Eddie is absolutely, 100%, fucked.

(Part 2)

(Steddie Notes is now posted in full on ao3!)

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steviewashere · 4 months

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Little Steddie WIP for a fic that I'm making up as I go. See where the flowing vibes steer me. (Point of time is 1984. Thinking note passing. Thinking different first meeting. Thinking of friends to lovers to strangers to lovers again.)

Now as a full chapter Here!

-------- Steve picks up a little piece of paper that somebody shoved inside the grates of his locker door. It's folded, crumpled, creased and stained. He glances around. If the messenger just left this, they must still be around, right? At the bathrooms, nobody stands. Or at the narrow opening that floods into the main hall of Hawkins High. Or even peeking from under the stairwell. He runs his thumb over the paper. It's soft, most likely worn down from being held onto for so long. From being in somebody's pocket. Pressed up against the radiating warmth from their naked thigh. Possibly held between their fingers, twirling and folding in the gaps.

Does he open it? He's curious, he should. But what if it's another one of Tommy's pranks, which have increased tenfold since they stopped being friends. What if it's Carol giving him a fill-in on gossip he no longer wants a slice of? Or...What if it's Nancy apologizing? He shakes his head at that. What does she have to apologize for, he questions himself. If anybody should say sorry, it would be me.

Basketball practice is in ten minutes. He's got his sweatbands on. Retied his sneakers. Changed into shorts and a particularly revealing muscle tank. Slathered on deodorant, lip balm, and baby powder to prevent chafing on his thighs. He's ready to go. Gotta go, he hastily thinks.

But...

The note. Somebody left it just for him.

Oh, but what if it's to tease him? To poke fun at the fact that he lost his girlfriend to somebody the whole school deems as his rival. To laugh at the new cut near his hairline, pink and puckered, laughing at his inability to fight back (parents teach their kids the damndest things). From that insufferable guy, Billy, that's barreled in through town from California and shoved him on the spikes of his King Steve crown. From that band girl with choppy strawberry blonde hair that's always too observant. From somebody else...somebody who wants to see him bend over, gasp for air that's too sharp and fleeting, and cry with nothing else to do.

He blearily thinks, Fuck it. He thinks, Men don't cry. Though the voice is his father's and they're almost the same in intonation, does it matter who's ridiculing him? He thinks, I just want to go home and rest.

It unfolds without him willing. The paper still soft, not yet agitating his palms. Gently torn around the edges. Blue pen glowing up at him. He takes a breath and reads.

"You seem haunted. But you're lovely. I hope you find peace soon, Steve. -E.M."

Steve's watch beeps at him. Time to shoot some hoops. And all the while he will think, Who the hell is E.M.?

-------- Is this anything? Let me know, because I think it is.

#stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #wip #steve harrington #eddie munson #different first meeting #note passing #pre-season 2 #or maybe right before the really bad shit

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morganski-19 · 7 months

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With a Comma After Dearest Part 1

A Ronance Note Passing Au

Robin’s tired. So goddamn tired. Like the soul was physically sucked out of her body and all that was left was this mess of a blob that she had to carry around all day tired. She hates it. Hates the feeling of just getting through the day just to go home and try to sleep, but never succeeds.

It hasn’t been this bad in a while. Not since July. But at least then she had more of an excuse. Then she was taken by Russians and tortured, heard Steve’s screams through the long hallway of the bunker. Now, what does she have to say? She willingly jumped into an alternate dimension portal to save her friend and willingly went back again to kill an evil wizard. She didn’t see the visions her friends did, didn’t watch her friends almost die. No, she came out unscathed, just mild horrors to be seen. The sleepless night shouldn’t be happening.

But they are. Have been ever since that first night after spring break. Waking in a cold sweat, immediately calling her friends to know that they were ok. Resigning herself to only getting the amount of sleep she did or sneaking out her window to go to Steve’s. That way when one of them had a nightmare, they might actually be able to sleep after that. She can’t rely on him as much as she wants, especially if she wants him to have any semblance of a life. But she just can’t help it.

He’s never said anything about it, always willing to drop anything to come make sure she was ok. Not like he was doing anything either, just laying alone in that giant house of his. But now that Eddie’s been released from the hospital, they’ve been spending more time together, Steve helping him through the nightmares. And she sees the way they look at each other, she knows that something’s going to happen between them too, even if they can’t see it yet.

So she has to learn how to do things on her own sometimes. She can still rely on him if she needs it, he isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He just might need some space and nights alone, meaning that Robin would have to start being alone. If only that thought alone didn’t terrify her.

She walks into the bathroom and is met with the giant bags under her eyes. Barely having the energy to even get dressed in the morning, it’s not like she has the energy to cover them up. Her mom asks her questions, and her dad gets worried. All she could tell them were lies, that it was just nerves about some test or college applications, and that’s why she couldn’t sleep. She splashes some cold water on her face, trying anything to keep her awake for three more periods.

Slowly she makes her way to her next class and prays that she won’t fall asleep.

. . .

Nancy is walking to her next class when she spots Robin. Hunched over, clutching books close to her chest, and shuffling into the classroom. She looks like she hasn’t gotten any sleep at all, Nancy knows the feelings. It’s not like she’s been able to sleep that well the last few weeks. She’s just had four years of practice to make sure no one knew it was happening. It would go away soon, she knows. Slowly compartmentalizing in her mind until the memories fade away, only to haunt her again when she doesn’t want them to.

But Robin, she’s still new to this. Sure there was the summer, but that was only once. It took Nancy three times around to be able to train her mind to forget the images that plagued her mind. And even then it wasn’t perfect.

There were always people that Nancy could rely on though. Steve and Jonathan when she was dating them, and sometimes even Mike when they both needed someone to talk to. Someone was always there to help her fall back asleep, assure her that she was safe, and that they were okay.

Does Robin have anyone to do that? Nancy assumes she has Steve, but it’s not like they live that close. And they’re not dating, so it’s not like they would spend that many nights together. She can’t imagine what Robin would do, climb out her window and bike all the way to Steve’s, or call him and he then drive over to her. Time spent in panic when someone could already be there to calm her down.

Nancy wants to be there for Robin. They live a lot closer and could have sleepovers on nights when one of them just needed someone to help get them through the night. But she hasn’t had time.

Ever since the “earthquake” the school paper has had endless stories. Student testimonials and memorials. News about the repairs and charity drives. A constant reminder of what they didn’t stop quite in time.

Because of that, Nancy hasn’t had time to think about herself, let alone someone else. The stories are slowing down and life is returning to normal. Meaning that she should be too, or at least trying to. That way she could focus on her future and get through the rest of the year. Finally leave Hawkins behind and start the next part of her life, away from danger.

After the bell rings, Nancy sees Robin again, half asleep wandering through the halls. She wants to go up to her, ask her if she’s alright. If maybe she wants to come over after school and take a nap knowing that someone is there to protect her. It’s what Nancy would want Robin to do, so why can’t she do it herself?

Maybe it’s because she and Robin don’t know each other that well. They hung out a lot during spring break, but how much can you really learn about a person while saving the world? That doesn’t stop her from wanting to get to know her more. Somewhere along the line, she and Robin bonded. Maybe Nancy could have a best friend again, she just has to take the first step.

Robin stops, exchanging a book in her locker before walking through the hall again. Nancy tries to speed up and catch her, but she misses her in seconds. Looking at the locker at her right, she gets an idea. Ripping out a page of her notebook, she writes a note and pushes it through the slits of the locker, hoping that Robin responds.

. . .

Robin,

Hey, I just wanted to check up on you. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to hang out that much, I’ve been really busy with the newspaper. We have so many stories to write about the “earthquake” that I’ve been working overtime just to get all of them edited. Really it’s so annoying, especially since we know what happened. I just want to go back to writing stories about the mystery meat, as much as it pains me to say that.

But anyway. I really did just want to check up on you. Our schedules don’t really align that much but when I pass you in those halls, you look so alone. Not to say that you don’t have friends or anything. But I know that feeling of just wanting to isolate yourself after what happens, and I know you have Steve to help deal with all of this but, I guess I just wanted to make sure that you knew you could talk to me too.

I’ll leave my number on the bottom in case you don’t have it. Please feel free to call me anytime, really. I want to be there for you.

From,

Nancy

(P.S., my locker number is A350 if you want to respond. No pressure though!)

Robin reads the letter that fell out of her locker again, shocked that it isn’t some prank. The first thought that crossed her mind was that it was some jock who just wanted to poke fun at the band geek who looked like shit. Not like it’s unheard of.

However, when she opened the letter and read it, she smiled instead of balling it up and throwing it away. It’s the first time she’s heard from Nancy in weeks. Ever since school started up again, Robin would see her running through the halls from class to class, and then right to the newspaper room during lunch and after school. She thought that Nancy had forgotten about her, but she was wrong.

The last bell rings for the day and Robin curses under her breath, stuffing her bag full of books before booking it to the parking lot, Steve waiting for her like always.

“No offense, but you look like shit,” he says as she slides into the passenger seat.

“How anyone fell for your charm, I will never know.”

He pulls out of the parking lot. “Eh, after school doesn’t really work all that much anymore. But uh- seriously. Have you been sleeping?”

Robin yawns. “I’m fine.”

“That’s not what I asked. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. I’m worried about you, you haven’t called that much and you can barely walk to the car when I pick you up. I just- I just want you to know that I’m still here, if you need to talk about it, that’s all.”

“I know. I just didn’t want you to come over as much and I can’t keep biking to your place in the middle of the night.”

Steve turns, taking the longer way to her house as he does every day so they can talk more. “Then call me, we can just fall asleep on the phone like we used to.”

“Aren’t you a little preoccupied now,” She switches the conversation, getting the spotlight off of her.

“The hell does that mean?”

“I mean that you and Eddie have been spending a lot of nights together.”

He pauses, not immediately biting back. “He’s been having a tough time with everything ok, that’s it.”

Robin hums disbelievingly. “Uh huh, sure. Let me know when that changes.”

She digs through her backpack to find her water bottle and stumbles upon the note Nancy left in her locker. If she had another five minutes, she would have responded. Pulling it out, she looks at it, reading through the words again.

“What’s that?” Steve asks as he turns down her street.

“Nancy left me a note in my locker, checking in on me.”

He parks in front of her house. “That’s nice. You going to respond?”

“I think so. It’d be nice to have someone else to talk about all of this, you know.”

“Yeah I know,” he nods. “Call me, ok. Don’t just think you have to go through this alone. No matter what, you still have me, ok.”

Robin nods. “Yeah, I know. And I will. Promise.”

When she gets to her room, she basically falls on her bed, debating if she should take a nap. But it might be the only sleep she gets tonight, so it’d be best to do it later. Looking at the letter in her hand again, she decides to write a response.

. . .

Dear Nancy,

How thoughtful of you to check up on little ole me. I should be the one checking up on you. So how dare you getting to it first.

In all seriousness though, I’ve been ok, I guess. I haven’t really been sleeping, which is why I look like complete shit all the time. But it’ll go away soon. I hope at least. Steve has been spending a lot of time helping Eddie out, so I haven’t been able to lean on him as much as I did after the summer. It’s been kind of weird going through this sort of alone. But I guess I’m not anymore, 'cause I have you.

I figured you were busy with the newspaper. I would see you running through the halls right past me, not even saying a quick hello. I don’t blame you for missing me, not like I was trying to stand out anyway. We should hang out, sometimes. If you have time, that is. I don’t really have a lot of friends, especially those who I can talk to about this. What I’m trying to say is that it would be nice, I think.

So uh, here’s my number in case you don’t have it. We’re the only Buckley’s in town though so if you need to, we’re in the book.

Your friend,

Robin

(P.S. Also, thought it would be funny to greet and sign these letters as they would back then. You know, for laughs and shit.)

(P.P.S I know you already have my locker number, but it’s B102 if you forgot)

Nancy smiles as she reads the letter, immediately pulling out a piece of paper and writing a response.

I will start a tag list if anyone is interested. This will be multiple parts, I'm thinking somewhere between 5-10.

#ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #note passing au #background steddie #steve harrington #mentioned eddie munson #with a comma after dearest fic #part 1 #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #ronance fanfic #getting together #pining #note passing #post season 4

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shapeshiftinterest · 2 years

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We Just Got A Letter, Wonder Who It’s From?: sun x moon x monty

yes the title is the letter song from blues clues. sequel to Slide Into Fun! but can be read by itself

a daycare kid passes a note to sun and moon

glittergolf week event

day 2: Arts and Crafts/ Gifts

story under the read more

We Just Got A Letter, Wonder Who It’s From? (also on ao3)

“Ok kids, it’s almost time to get ready for naptime!“ Sun called out, clapping his hands together to get their attention. “Put away your toys and get your sleepy time stuff from the cubbies. Inderpreet! Terrion! No pushing, please!“

“Hmm?“ Sun looked down to see Rolden tugging on his pants. Well this was a surprise. They were one of the shyer kids in the daycare since their older brother, Jamie, had hit the age limit.

“Hello friend! Didja need something from me, Starshine? If you have a question for Moonie, I promise he’ll be out in a jiffy so-“ Rolden shook their head.

“No?” They started digging through their satchel, not letting go of his leg. “What’re you- Oh!“ Rolden thrust a green envelope into his faceplate. Sun gasped. “What’s this? A letter? For us??“

Rays spinning excitedly, Sun tilted his head. “Oooohhh, I wonder what it says!“

“Ah.“ Wowie! Contact and verbal communication? Today must be their lucky day if Rolden was being so open! “Jamjam.“

“Jamie gave you this letter?“ Rolden nodded. “Aaww, that’s so sweet of him to write us a letter.“

Rolden shook their head.

“He didn’t write the letter?“ They nodded again and made a few motions. “Someone gave the letter to Jamie to give to you to give to us?“ Rolden smiled and ducked their head, nodding.

Sun was confused, he could feel Moon pressing in the back of their subconscious, curious about the contents of the letter.

“Thank you for delivering it to us, friend!” The animatronic took a sticker from their chest plate and handed it to them. “You did a great job, go ahead and get ready for naptime and Moonie’ll give you a Moondrop before you sleep.“

Sun looked at the letter in his hands. “This is so interesting, huh, Moonie? We never ever get letters! At least none that come in envelopes.“

‘Hmmm. Looks sus.‘ Moon joked, squinting at the letter through Sun’s eyes. Sun laughed, walking over to the light switch once he saw everyone had settled down. “Let’s read it once everyone’s asleep, I don’t think I can wait until closing!“

“Agreed.“

Sun flipped the switch and let Moon out. “Hello, little comets. What story would you like today?“

Once everyone had fallen asleep, Moon called his cable and flew up to their balcony. Digging out a flashlight under one of the staffbot torsos, he took out the envelope and opened it with a pair of safety scissors.

Unfolding the letter revealed a stack of Monty themed stickers that fluttered to the floor. Moon’s face plate rotated once, twice, before he picked them up. “Monty?“

‘Read the letter! Read the letter!!‘ Sun urged, practically vibrating in their headspace.

“Shoosh, I’m getting to it.“ Moon stuffed the merch into their chestplate and looked at the letter. Inside was a poorly drawn picture of his and Sun’s faces on golf themed stationary, and another picture under that one but of Sun, Moon, and Monty playing golf. Moon squinted, tilting his head.

“Thx for the candy, got u parmesan (does he mean permission?) to leave daycare if u gays- wait no, that says ‘guys’, wanna learn how to golf. -Monty“

‘YEEEEE!! HE GOT US PERMISSION TO LEAVE THE DAYCARE!!! ACCEPT! ACCEPT! HOW DO WE SAY YES, MOONIE?!?!‘

“Wow, his spelling is terrible.“ Moon scoffed playfully. “And he called us the dorks.“

‘We’ll think about his spelling later! How do we tell him yes?!?!‘

“Calm down, Sunny. We can just ask Rolden to pass a message back. Or just message Monty ourselves, but this would be more fun, don’t you think?“ Moon ‘smirked‘, one hand on their elbow, the other holding their cheek in a thinking pose.

“Oooohhh!! Yes yes yes yes!! We should write him back, it’s only polite.“

And with that, Moon returned to his post, the two of them sharing ideas for their rough draft to Monty.

____________________________________________________________

Extra Context:

if you weren’t sure what happened, Monty made a note, stuffed it in a letter, and gave it to Jamie (he/him), who gave it to Rolden (he/they), who gave it to Sun and Moon

Jamie grew up and is too old to be registered in the daycare, they are Rolden’s older sibling

Rolden is a shy and quiet kid, they are the younger sibling of Jamie and used to be afraid of other people including Sun and Moon unless Jamie was there with them

Monty got the higher ups to somehow get Sun and Moon ungrounded, they can now leave the daycare without needing a reason (eg: emergency, patrol, field trips etc.)

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moncuries · 6 months

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matters of state

#of note: how hard is it tot ell that this pond and turtleduck situation was borne out of frustration w the pose #not hard at all #furthermore: zuko with ursa style hair #who looks more in love u decide #zukka #sokka #zuko #atla #my art #fanart #passing bills such as: ur sooo good at ur job sokka hahaha want to ki #i gave both of them tattoos but then csp crashed #sorry

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fluffyblue-multifandommess · 4 months

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"Yagami Light as a youtuber would probably plagiarise" WRONG Yagami Light is insanely intelligent and looks down on literally every single other human person, he would rather stab himself in the eye than using the works of someone else - someone who can't be anything but beneath him. Pre-Death Note youtuber!Light would make long-ass videos about Everything Wrong With Society with completely unhinged takes about how xyz small innocuous thing is responsible for gang violence with numbers* to back it up.

"Light would plagiarise" get the fuck out of here.

*numbers which he completely twists to his own bias - without even knowing it because he thinks way too highly of himself

#imagine thinkinig yagami light - self-proclaimed god and arbiter of justice - would ever stoop!#to passing someone else's work as his own!!!#to him it would be like if he picked up trash off the side of the road and said 'look what i made'. girl please #blue fandom ramblings #death note #i am going to Entertain op's premise and read the rest of the post now but #i had to get this out of the way first

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mayorwhisper · 1 year

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🤣🤣🤣🤣

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danielnelsen · 5 months

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while i get where this comes from and it’s true to an extent, i reeeaaaally don’t like how people try to explain “trans men don’t [necessarily] have male privilege” with things like “some trans men don’t pass”.

like sure that’s the most obvious example (someone who is seen as a woman won’t have the privilege that comes with being seen a man) but you’re still acting like being a passing trans man is just a free opt-in to male privilege which is………kinda the issue.

#personal #ohh don’t be weird on my post please this is just on my mind #i’ve seen it so many times just in the last few days #like yeah a passing trans man receives more benefits than anyone who’s seen as a woman #and i’m sure most people making those arguments DO understand that it’s not that simple #but very few people engaging in these kinds of discussions in good faith would argue that someone seen as a woman has male privilege #(note: VERY FEW people engaging in GOOD FAITH)#i see people be like ‘everyone thinks all trans men pass’ and like…….WHO is thinking that who’s also gonna listen to you here #maybe it’s just my grew-up-in-a-conservative-religious-environment thing but your experience is not universal #i would also like you to consider whether ‘anyone that looks like a man has male privilege’ is consistent with your other views #1k #(oh god guys please)

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morganski-19 · 6 months

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With A Comma After Dearest Part 5

part 1, part 4

Robin feels great. It’s the first time in weeks that she’s woken up from the sound of her alarm, and not from a nightmare. It’s the first time in weeks that she’s slept for more than four hours. She doesn’t know how it happened, but when a miracle happens, no one dares question it, so why would she? No, instead she’s going to grab the miracle by the throat and make the most of her day. And maybe not look like shit for once.

She looks in her closet, taking time to pick out an outfit instead of just grabbing whatever looks the comfiest. She takes a shower and even makes herself an actual breakfast instead of a piece of toast. It might make her almost late for school, but it’s the first time that she feels like herself again.

When she comes barreling out the door and into the passenger seat of Steve’s car, ready to start doing her makeup in the sunshade mirror, Steve is too busy glaring at her to start the car.

“What?” She asks, ready to go for once.

“You’re wearing jeans, and an actual shirt.”

She does a quick glance at her outfit, not seeing anything wrong with it. As if he has any say in what she should wear anyway. “Yeah, what about it?”

“You’re not wearing sweats.”

“Oh. No, I’m not. I actually slept last night, I guess.”

His face breaks out in a soft smile. “Hey, that’s good.”

“Yeah, I guess it is. Now come on, I don’t need another tardy trying to hinder me from graduating, go.”

“I’m going, alright, Jeez.”

. . .

Robin looks different. Not a bad different, Nancy thinks. A good different if anything. She looks, awake, refreshed. She looks herself, if that’s what herself looks like.

Nancy doesn’t really have a lot to base it off of, the only knowledge she had of the way Robin would normally carry herself was in the one week they knew each other. And even then, there were other factors that would have hindered the way she did. She looks confident, happy. She looks like Robin.

Her eyes can’t help but follow Robin as she walks down the hall and into her classroom. It’s captivating. There’s nothing that’s really changed that much, but it draws her in. Like that time in the library but tenfold.

There’s still no good explanation that Nancy has for that moment. She’s chalked it up to the fact that she had gotten less sleep that night and just zoned out because of it. Because there was nothing else in her mind that could have been the reason for it. There couldn’t be. Nancy had already gone down a whole road of self-discovery in the past few years and she had already reached the end of it, there was no way that more could be ahead of her.

She knew who she was, that was unchanging. There was nothing more to that.

. . .

The beautiful Robin,

Hope that isn’t too weird or anything, it’s generally just a compliment. Anyway, I saw you walking through the halls and just wanted to tell you how good you looked today. I can’t really describe it but you just look more yourself. I like it, reminds me a little bit of when we first met.

More importantly, I guess, is that you looked more awake. Which could just be a complete illusion, but I’m choosing to believe that meant you got a good night's sleep. Which, yay, congrats. The first nightmare free night normally gives you a sense of false hope, but it means that you’re going in the right direction.

That’s the whole purpose of the note. I just thought you looked good and deserved to know it.

Grateful to see you more yourself,

Nancy

Robin can’t breathe. Whatever air was in her lungs was immediately punched out of her chest with the first three words.

Nancy thinks she’s beautiful. Which she really shouldn’t construe in any way that isn’t just a platonic compliment, but how can she? It’s right there, written on paper. A written confirmation that Nancy thinks that Robin is beautiful. Nancy claims it’s just a compliment, which objectively it is, and Robin knows that she didn’t mean it in a way that’s romantic. But with everything else written, her heart can’t help but start beating faster.

She noticed things about Robin. Not just like today, but before they were even this close. Noticed the change in the way Robin dressed based on one, maybe two outfits that she had seen prior. Noticed the way that she’s actually awake, carrying herself the way she normally would instead of hunching over and shuffling to class. There was a beat to her steps again, and Nancy noticed it.

It’s not the most surprising thing in the world, Nancy’s a pretty observant person. And if the roles were reversed, Robin would notice the same thing. But that’s because she’s different. Despite her best efforts, she looks at Nancy differently than Nancy views her. It’s something she can’t control, but that’s just the way the cards fell. Her heart picked up without her brain being able to stop it, and she hasn’t been able to stop it yet.

So it’s supposed to be Robin who picks up on the minuscule details, not Nancy. Even if the things that she noticed weren’t exactly minuscule. But they were still less noticeable to anyone who didn’t know her.

Maybe she’s just blowing this out of proportion. She’s obviously dressed differently than the way she was for the last few weeks. And even though she’s still been able to put on some sort of makeup to make the bags of her eyes look less, it’s better applied today, clearer. Even Steve noticed that things were different. Yet, he still didn’t call her beautiful, only Nancy did.

. . .

The beautiful Nancy,

Look I’m copying you now. Not exactly like it’s false though, anyone with eyes would notice that you’re beautiful. But you complimented me so I feel like I should compliment you. So I did.

Thank you for your compliment, I really appreciated it. Steve kinda had the same reaction this morning, without the beautiful comment because that would have been super weird coming from him, to be honest. But when I got in the car this morning, he was too busy giving me a weird look, and I mean weird as in weirded out and not because I couldn’t figure out what the look meant, to start the car and bring me to school. Something about me wearing jeans and an actual shirt instead of a hoodie. I personally don’t see anything wrong with because the hoodie I have is very comfortable, and he should know, I stole it from him.

I hope that’s not too weird. I know it’s traditional for girlfriends to steal their boyfriend’s hoodie and shit, but I feel like that could also be a best friend thing. Especially since there is no shred of attraction between us because, ew gross. I don’t need to prove it to you again because we already told you, but platonic with a capital P. And he stole one of my jackets before so it’s not like it’s just a me thing.

Anyway, I’m rambling again, but in word form. Not that I don’t normally ramble in a non-word form, I guess this is just a written word form. Whatever

Just wanted to thank you for the compliment and return the favor,

Robin

If anyone asked Nancy what was in the note passed the first paragraph, she wouldn’t be able to tell them. It’s not like she didn’t read it, she always reads whatever Robin gives her, even going back to make sure she didn’t miss a word. But this time, here eyes only find those words.

Nancy’s been told that she was beautiful before. It wasn’t exactly something that she paid mind to, just accepted the comment and moved on. Compliments rolled off of Nancy like a wave, letting her soak in the moment but then receding back to where they came from. Never sticking around long enough for Nancy to believe it for too long. It’s not that she didn’t think she was good-looking, or even pretty. There were always just things about her that she didn’t think were beautiful, or that compared to someone else, they would be more beautiful than her.

So when someone called her beautiful, the feeling that it gave her was only temporary, the insecurities of it all flooding back in to strip it away. But when Robin wrote the words, it was the first time she heard someone say it and believed it. It’s not to say that the other people who called her beautiful were wrong, or didn’t make her feel that way. It’s just when Robin wrote it, it felt more real.

The thing about Robin is that she’s honest. Nancy only saw her lie one time, and even then there was truth to it. Just the wrong truth for the moment. And then, the lie was needed, was necessary to accomplish a goal. It was so much different than other lies. There was something both of them gained and ultimately, no one was really hurt by it. Mildly inconvenienced, maybe, but not hurt.

Maybe that’s why it feels more real. Robin hasn’t lied to Nancy, not yet, and she has the feeling that she won’t ever. Or at least, not in the way that people have lied to her in the past. Hurt her, misled her. But then, she hurt and misled them too. So maybe it’s because neither Robin nor Nancy has lied to each other yet that the compliment finally sticks.

Or maybe it’s something completely different, but that leaves Nancy with more questions than answers. So she’ll take the compliment for now and walk away, feeling more confident in herself than normal and not knowing why.

. . .

Robin fucked up, she knew she fucked up. It’s almost the end of the day and Nancy hasn’t written a note back to her. She overdid it, the comment was too much. She should have just thanked Nancy and moved on, there didn’t need to be anything else.

But it was so easy. The in was there waiting for her on a silver platter and she took it. It was too easy to pass up. It’s what girls do all the time, don’t they? Get a compliment and then return it the same way. Like “Oh thank you, you’re so pretty too.” That’s the normal response to a compliment, right?

Even then, Nancy’s first compliment wasn’t exactly normal. Going out of her way to write a note dedicated to just how good you looked that day. Was that normal? Was that just Nancy being nice? Was Robin reading into this? Yes, yes she was.

It’s easy to read into something where the space between the lines is nonexistent. It could have been a sentence at the end of a normal letter. “Oh, by the way, Robin, I saw how you looked today and wanted to say that I really like your outfit. It looks great on you and makes you look more awake. Which yay, sleep.” That’s so easy, that’s normal talk. Robin can do normal talk

But no, Nancy didn’t write that. She wrote out, by hand, that Robin was beautiful.

Robin’s never been called beautiful by someone like Nancy. Her parents and family members, sure but that meant nothing. Guys trying to hit on her not realizing she’s not interested, yes. But none of that was like this and none of that made her feel like this did. None of those times filled Robin with unimaginable warmth and made her want to scream into a pillow. None of those times made her feel it.

There is something unbelievable about the words from someone held so dear to the other’s heart. It makes them feel important, seen. Nancy’s words hit differently because they weren’t said because they’re family or hoped to get in her pants. They were said because they were believed. Nancy noticed something about Robin from just passing through the hall. So either Robin was really looking like a complete mess every day or Nancy just knew. From one small glance, she knew that Robin had the best sleep possible and woke up feeling like her old self again. Away from the nightmares and the trauma, just Robin being Robin. And Nancy complimented that.

So when the opportunity presented itself, how could Robin not return the favor? How could she not admit the thought that’s been ringing around her mind since the first note was slid into her locker? Nancy was beautiful, inside and out, how could Robin not tell her that?

But she did it too much. She should have just left it at the greeting and said that she was just giving it back. But no, she couldn’t just leave it at that. She had to add that anyone with eyes would see that Nancy was beautiful, that she thought Nancy was beautiful. If Nancy read it the way she wrote it, she would know that the eyes that were mentioned were her own. And since she hadn’t received another note since then, that was all that Robin was left to think.

She thought that saying it and talking about Steve would push focus away from the true meaning of what she wrote, but she guesses that was wrong.

. . .

Every time Nancy goes to write a response, she ends up with something stupid. So she erases it and starts over again until there are holes in the page. Tossing the useless paper into the trash, she curses herself for being like this.

This isn’t normal, not for her. Not with Robin. Talking was easy, but now it’s so hard that Nancy can’t even find one right word to say. It should be simple. Just thank Robin for the compliment and move on, talk about something else. Maybe invite her over to her house for a movie night or something. Just anything to get her and Robin in the same room again, to chase that feeling of being close to someone again.

To get lost with someone. Feel the incredible warmth that comes from someone who cares for you deeply. Let the moment wrap around like a hug and wish that the person’s arms were around you instead.

Nancy shakes her head, getting up from her seat and walking to the bathroom. These thoughts weren’t real, they couldn’t be. She just had a late night last night, that’s all. The fact that these were the same thoughts that were keeping her up at night was irrelevant. Robin is her best friend, so that’s why those feelings were there. It had to be.

Turning on the faucet, she lets the cold water run, just staring at it for a second before cupping some and splashing it on her face. If she was going to make it through the day, she needed to get focused. Just write the next note so Robin doesn’t feel like she’s avoiding her and then go home. Then she can freak out, even though she won’t because there’s nothing to freak out about.

“Oh, hey, Nancy,” Robin casually says when she comes out of the stall, walking up to the sink next to Nancy.

“Hey. Sorry I haven’t given you another note yet. I know I normally have another one done by this time but I haven’t really had time to write it yet.”

Robin shrugs. “Things come up, I get it. You … you didn’t think I was being weird in the last note, did you? Cause I promise everything was innocent, just wanted to return the compliment and all.”

“Yeah. No, yeah. It was fine, I appreciated it, actually. Wasn’t weird at all.” Nancy swallows, hoping that maybe saying it out loud would make her believe it.

“Ok, good. I appreciated yours too. Kinda nice to know someone noticed, you know. After all we’ve been through, I didn’t think I’d be able to feel like myself again for a while. So the fact that you noticed it too, made me really happy.” Robin looks at her, smiling and suddenly Nancy can’t breathe.

“Yeah, your’s did too.”

Suddenly, Robin reaches across and plucks something off of Nancy’s shirt. The soft brush of her fingers sent electricity down Nancy’s arm. “There was a hair,” she says softly.

Nancy clears her throat. “I should probably head back to class. I’ll talk to you later though, ok.”

“Yeah ok. See you later Nance.”

Her heart is beating out of her chest when she returns to her seat. As she turns her attention back to the lecture, she wills it to stop. Wills the warms of Robin’s brief touch to leave her soul. Prays for the thoughts to stop racing around her mind. Doing what she does best, she pushes them away into a little box and goes back to normal, just knowing that this box will unlock itself again the next time she sees Robin.

. . .

My friend Robin,

I noticed something when we were in the bathroom earlier. I don’t have a nickname for you. Not that I need one or anything. You just called me Nance and I know everyone pretty much calls me that but I still like it.

I was just wondering if there’s a name that you like people to call you other than Robin. I think I’ve heard Steve call you Rob sometimes but I didn’t know if that was just a you two thing or if other people call you that too. Maybe I’m overthinking the whole purpose of a nickname, but whatever.

Would you want me to call you Rob sometimes? Or how about Robbie? There are not many nicknames for Robin I guess. Or if you don’t really want me to, I can just keep calling you Robin. Just was curious.

Your friend,

Nance

Robin tries to ignore the way that the greeting stings, but she can’t help it. It hurts being called just a friend after the letters they exchanged just that morning. But those were friendly interactions. She has to keep reminding herself that, and every time it hurts more than the last.

She promised herself that this wasn��t going to go far enough to hurt her this time, but Nancy was making that incredibly hard.

. . .

My dear friend Nance,

I don’t really have a lot of specific names that people call me. Steve does call me Rob sometimes and Eddie started calling me Birdie for some reason. Something about my name being a bird’s name, therefore I am a bird. Which I am clearly not but he’s weird so whatever.

So you can pick anything really. Whatever you want. I did kind of like Robbie though, that’s one that no one’s ever called me before. So if you liked it, then I liked it. I really don’t care that much though.

Interested to see what you will choose,

Robin

Nancy doesn’t respond again before the day ends. Mainly because she was running from her last class to her car just to get home, but the reason why is what is bothering her. Ever since meeting with Robin in the bathroom, the only thing that Nancy was looking forward to was going home. Because going home meant going to sleep, which is the reason why she’s feeling the way she is, so tomorrow she’ll wake up normal. And, since it’s a Saturday, she’ll have the whole weekend to fix herself before seeing Robin again.

If she can go that long without seeing her, that is. That’s the worst part. Even though she’s been feeling weird about everything, she still has the urge to just talk to Robin. It’s unexplainable really. Nancy desperately wants to find the answer, but every time she gets close to thinking what it is, the panic sets in and it’s left unanswered.

When she gets home, she notices the rental car the Byers have been using parked outside of her house. They’re leaving tomorrow so El and Will have been over a lot. It’s a lot for Mike to go through again. He and El are going through some sort of rough patch, she’s not sure if they’re even still together. But that doesn’t matter, the two people he’s closest to are moving across the country again. That’s hard.

The first time they moved away, Mike and Nancy talked a lot about missing them. They had a lot in common, having their partners living so far away from them and how hard it was. It was the closest they were for a while.

Jonathan steps out of the car when Nancy pulls in, walking up the drive while she pulls her backpack out of the backseat.

“Hey,” he says, trying to act like this isn’t awkward.

“Hey.”

“I just wanted to say goodbye, I guess. Felt weird not to, even after anything.”

Nancy gives him a small smile. “I wouldn’t have held it against you.”

“I, uh, I can send back some of your stuff when I get back if you want.”

“You don’t have to, you can just give it to me when you guys come back.”

Jonathan scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, ok. I’m uh, I’m sorry for snapping at you last time. I was just, getting over it, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I was too.”

“What I’m trying to say, I guess. Is that I’m more over it now, so if you wanted, we could try to be friends again.”

A weight relieves itself from Nancy’s chest. “I would like that.”

The front door opens as Mike, El, and Will exit the house, talking quietly amongst themselves. “Our flight changed, we’re leaving tonight instead of tomorrow.”

“How are they?” Nancy asks and they start to say their goodbyes.

“As well as you could think. I wish we could stay but Mom didn’t want to have us transfer twice in one year. But it’ll only be a few more months.”

“And how are you, really? I didn’t mean for this to happen the way it did.”

Jonathan sighs. “I didn’t either. But, if I’m being honest, I think I would have ended it if you didn’t. Just didn’t want to believe it.”

“I didn’t either.”

“We should get going.”

“Would it be weird if I hugged you?”

He laughs. “I don’t think so.” Nancy opens her arms and hugs him goodbye, as friends this time. “Thank you for being my first love, Nancy.”

“Thank you for letting me be. Have a good time in California, ok.”

Jonathan smiles. “I will.”

Nancy walks up to the doorstep, waiting for Mike while he finishes up saying goodbye. The hurt that she felt the last time she saw Jonathan faded away, now all that’s left is peace. A part of her will always love him, and she thanks him for that. But now that love is as a friend. They still care for each other, but differently.

Mike watches as they drive away, only walking back to the house when they’re out of sight. Nancy tries not to notice the dried tear stains down his cheeks. “You, ok?”

“No. I feel like I just got them back and now they're leaving again.”

Nancy pats his shoulder. “They’ll be back, just a few more months.”

“That’s almost worse somehow.”

“You’ll get through it, I know you will,” she says as they enter the house.

Hours later, Nancy stares at her ceiling, feeling weird again. That moment in her bathroom replayed in her mind, pushing away sleep. It shouldn’t have bothered her, it shouldn’t be keeping her awake. But like the library, Robin captivated her. But this time it was different, amplified.

This time Robin touched her. Just faintly but the slight brush of her fingers was enough to send a bolt of electricity that radiated through her body. It was enough to make her freeze and enough to leave her wanting more. Whatever more was.

Nancy hasn’t really touched Robin a lot at all. They definitely haven’t hugged yet, not like that was a requirement or anything. She remembers grabbing Robin’s hand when they were running out of Pennhurst, and Robin had grabbed hers right before the Creel house. But those were different, those were normal. Out of urgency or comfort. But now, Nancy can’t help to wonder what it would be like outside of those circumstances.

She wonders what it would be like if Robin were lying next to her now, warming the cool sheets. Just the thought of feeling her presence alone spreading warmth over Nancy’s skin. Wondering if the space between them would become smaller, and their arms would become tangled together. Would they share secrets in the dark, only for the other to hear? Would they fall asleep knowing that they were safe in the other’s embrace?

No, she thinks, shaking the thoughts out of her head. That won’t happen, because that’s not what’s meant to happen. But thinking back to the way that Robin makes her feel, she can’t help but go on the same loop all over again.

Nancy isn’t stupid. Deep down she knows that this isn’t something that any normal person wants. Or a normal straight person at least. The thoughts, the beating of her heart, the flush that seems to form on her face whenever she hears Robin’s voice. Those were beyond the line of friendship and into the realm of attraction.

But Nancy can’t want that. She is straight. There’s never been an instance before this where she’s ever wanted something with another woman. Then again, maybe she was just never attracted to another woman. But she still likes men. The love she had with Jonathan was real, the attraction she had to Steve was real. There were other crushes in her past that were real too, none of them were faked. She wasn’t faking it then, and she isn’t faking it now.

There’s a word that she heard somewhere that someone used to describe liking both genders, but she can’t remember it. Looking it up could be easy, but she can’t help but feel like she doesn’t need to. Because there’s no way that this was actually something that she wanted. This was just confusion because of the lack of being in a relationship. Just looking for the feeling wherever it came from and enhancing it to be something more than it is.

After today, she is sure that she is over Jonathan. It feels weird saying that about someone she’s spent years of her life with. Especially since it’s only been a few weeks since their official break. But a part of her knows that she was already getting over him before she called it quits, the distance making it easier to start cutting the ties early. It’s a sad thing to think about, but it’s true.

And there’s another part of her that knows that a new relationship wouldn’t be pushed away. It wouldn’t be welcome, maybe not all at once. But if she really liked someone, then maybe after getting to know them, they could start something.

The only problem is that whenever she thinks of who that person could be, there’s only one face that shows up in her mind. And it’s the one face she’s so sure it can’t be.

. . .

There’s music playing, soft and in the background. Something unnoticeable but comforting. The air is warm and inviting as someone peppers kisses along Robin’s jaw. Soft hands run up and down her arms before a hand finds its way to her hair, fingers tangling into it. Her lips return to someone else's, slotting together with ease. Tongues pressing together as it becomes impossibly deep. Robin’s own hands travel down the back of this person, sliding underneath the hem and sliding against smooth, warm skin. The person moans into Robin’s mouth, pulling her closer.

The picture flashes forward, positions changing and clothes being thrown across the room. Red marks on necks and wandering hands. Impossibly soft skin presses against hers and their bodies slide together. Soft moans as Robin kisses down the person’s neck while her hand travels lower, lower.

“Robin,” the person moans, grabbing her head and bringing her back up for a kiss. Pulling away, Robin’s eyes meet the mystery person. Blue familiar eyes meet hers, blinking up at her.

“You’re so pretty,” she whispers, pushing away the brown curly hair stuck to the girl's cheek. Stuck to Nancy’s cheek, she realizes.

Robin wakes up, eyes flinging open with the realization of what just happened. She sits up and turns on her lamp, refusing to chase the warmth and fall back asleep. She takes a deep breath, trying to think of anything other than Nancy to think about, ignoring the warmth in her core.

“This can’t be happening,” she whispers to herself, hugging her knees close to her chest.

She can’t help but feel guilty, even though she knows that there was nothing she could have done to stop it. It was a dream, and dreams can’t be controlled. But a part of her wanted the dream to continue. Part of her mind is still there, and her body is still reacting, wishing that she continue it. Wishing that Nancy was really here.

The line was crossed, there was no way that Robin could deny it to herself anymore. There was no way in the world that Robin was having these thoughts and not having feelings for Nancy. She knew it was a crush, but then it was harmless. Now it’s not.

Now is when the loneliness kicks in and the unbearable urge to act on her feelings. The hopelessness that comes with knowing that Nancy can’t, and won’t ever reciprocate these feelings. The same thing will just happen over and over again. Robin will keep seeing Nancy because it’s too good to give up, and then end up in this same position, crying herself to sleep. Dreams will keep coming and she’ll keep waking up alone.

Want. Robin’s never experienced this form of want before. Her other crushes were more manageable, they were less personal. She had admired more from afar than she did up close. Now, there were bonds, secrets, friendship. Knowledge of what Nancy was like and that she knew Robin too. Fantasies easy to create because of how close they are. False hope created by Robin misinterpreting what was only meant to be a friendly gesture.

Tears start to fill her eyes as reality slips in. There’s no out from this, no lie that will make her believe this was just a stupid dream. Because it wasn’t. It was fueled off of fleeting thoughts that Robin had and shook away before they had taken root. Wondering how soft Nancy’s hair was and feeling the small amount of contact they'd had filling her body with warmth. Getting lost in her gaze and letting her eyes flick down to her lips just once, just to see.

The fall was crushing, worse than anything she’s ever felt. Robin’s never been in love, but this is the first time where she actually thinks she might be able to.

Seeking comfort, she reaches out and grabs the phone. When it gets picked up, she doesn’t wait a beat before blurting out, “I like Nancy.”

And after a second of silence, Steve simply says, “I’m coming over,” before hanging up the line.

#ronance #stranger things #stranger things fic #ronance fic #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #background steddie #getting together #pining #angst #denial #note passing au #note passing #with a comma after dearest fic

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