#now THAT's a shitpost

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Jaune: Penny! Thanks the Gods!

Penny: You seem out of Breath, and in a state of heightened arousal What has happened?

Jaune: Weiss and her Family have lost it!

Penny: How so?

~~~~~

Jaune: Hey, Weissssssss ...

Jaune: Hey, What, uh, What are you Wearing?

Weiss: *Dressed as 2B, minus the skirt* It is my prerogative to help Humanity in anyway I can.

Weiss: *Pressing herself against Jaune* Is there anything I may assist you with?

Jaune: Humina Humina Humina-

Weiss: Its Certainly Feels there may be something~

Jaune: *Pauses, Sprints out of Room fighting his arousal*

~~~~~

Jaune: Winter? Wint-

Winter: *Dressed as A2, Holding a sword just under his Chin* Hm. If she was too Forward it would seem. Though, I know That I will succeed where she failed-

Jaune: *Splashes water on her, Sprints away again fighting more arousal*

~~~~~

Jaune: Ms. Schnee! Weiss and Winter have gone nuts!

Willow: I'm in My bathroom Right now, just sit on my bed and I'll be out in a moment!

Jaune: O-Okay. The thing is, They're dressed up as characters from a video game- And it's all really Skimpy! I don't know why they're acting like this-

Willow: *Steps out dressed as the Commander* I know my hair doesn't match The one their having me dress as, but I hope it's not too far off~

Jaune: *Leaps up, runs off once more*

Willow: Oh I so do Love The hunt!

~~~~~

Jaune: *Hides in Whitley's closet*

Jaune: Breathe, breathe, You'll be fine.

Whitley: I'd say you already are fine~

Jaune: AH!

Whitley: *Dressed as 9S* I'd Rather be the one screaming. C'mon It'll be fun! It's not like this is Prohibited~

Jaune: *Hard-On Tearing his pants, Sprints to door*

Door: *Is Locked*

Whitley: I'm not as foolish as my family-

Jaune: *Jumps out Window*

Whitley: ... Shit.

~~~~~

Jaune: And that's why I'm here!

Penny: That does seem like a Very Distressing scenario. Follow me, I will take you somewhere where your Stress may be believed. *Penny begins walking*

Jaune: *Following* Where are we Going?

Penny: To my Dormitory. We may help there.

Jaune: *Entering The Dormitory* "We"

Ciel: *Dressed as 2P, Bent over a bed* We.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: *Taking Pants Off* Fine, But Penny goes first for Tricking Me.

Penny: That is an Acceptable Outcome! I will inform Specialist Winter so she may bring her family!

#rwby #jaune arc #rwby shitpost #now THAT's a shitpost #weiss schnee #penny polendina #winter schnee #willow schnee #whitley schnee #ciel soleil #whiteknight #winter knight #winterknight #willow's knight #arculus rift #arc en ciel #jaune harem #slight lemon

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Penny: *Bending over, picking stuff up off the ground*

Jaune: *Unable to fight his impulsive thoughts*

*SMACK*

~~~~~

Penny: So what have we learned?

Jaune: *Hand in cast* ... There are repercussions to our actions.

Penny: Very Good!

#rwby #jaune arc #rwby shitpost #penny polendina #now THAT's a shitpost #arculus rift #cyberknight #rwby cyberknight #robotic knight

[bookwyrminspiration]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

#executive dysfunction #shitpost #every day I get stuck in waiting mode for SO LONG and SO MANY TIMES #that one time I tried adhd meds it fixed it but then I. was like no I am going to be scared and not continue taking it <3 #and also. I simply did not like the psychologist and did not want to have to go back #so. rawdogging the world <3 #man if I could start a task right now...then you'd see...then you'd all see....

[sincerelystesichorus]

i have spent so long trying to place who astarion reminds me of

his dry little sarcastic bits gets me every time and like it's automatically funny but it felt so familiar...

this bastard.

and some more similar comparisons i think

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#astarion is a black cat ppl going crazy rn #like yes actually #its me #will anyone else care about this comparison #has it already been done ill cry #salem was my fav growing up i built my evil gay personality around him #and now i have astarion to further bear the curse #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #bg3 memes #salem the cat #salem saberhagen #sabrina the teenage witch #astarion is a cat #qb #qb shitposts

[chelledoggo]

"We're gonna be talking about the BOOBY! We'll be talking about the WOODCOCK! Do you think that's FUNNY, Butthead? Do you find it AMUSING that we'll be talking about the SWALLOW? Yes, we're also gonna be talking about the DICKCISSEL, the BUSHTIT, the COCK-OF-THE-ROCK, the SHAG... and we will DEFINITELY be spending a LOT of time talking about...GREAT TITS!!"

#beavis and butthead #ornithology #birds #meme #shitpost #this is an old meme i made on twitter a long time ago #now i'm bringing it here

[foolishlovers]

the sluttiest thing a character can be is crowley in a turtleneck

#never not thinking about that outfit #and now bring it back for s3 with half-bun crowley #please 👉🏻🥺👈🏻 #good omens #crowley #good omens shitpost #foolish talks

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

I'm incredibly hot and I use this power almost solely to fulfill my ultimate fetish

#the jolly writings #how has this post broken containment I didn't even tag it #but I will now #nsft #topposting #trans nsft #nonbinary nsft #lgbt nsft #196 #bottomposting #shitpost

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Jaune: Nora, if you don't stop drumming your fingers I'm gonna- *Deep Breathe* Nora. Stop drumming your fingers. Please.

Ruby: You know, Jaune's been really short tempered lately.

Blake: HEY! VASILIAS! STOP CLICKING YOUR FUCKING PEN!

Yang: He's not the only one. I don't want to say there's a pattern, but-

Blake: Yang, You're right, there is. If you're a faunus, there's a fifty-fifty chance that you either have Periods or heats depending on the kind of faunus you are, but unlike Periods, they sync up, because one can set off another's and another's like dominos, or the Flu.

Yang: That sounds like hell.

Blake: When you dump a bunch of people in the same building it can make it bounce back and forth, meaning even when your over a heat, you can fall back into it pretty fast.

Ruby: Then why hasn't it happened before?

Blake: There are heat suppressant medications, but they're literally nowhere to be found in Vale. It's like someone bought every last bit of it's stock and is hoarding it.

Weiss: *Thinking about how hard Jaune's gonna fuck her tonight because she bought all the Heat Suppressant medication and is hoarding it* :)

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #rwby shitpost #blake belladonna #now THAT's a shitpost #shark!faunus jaune

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: Hey Coco, Can I borrow some bullets?

Coco: Why? Thinking about getting a gun?

Jaune: No, I just need to hold up my pants so I'm buying a belt.

Coco: An Ammo belt.

Jaune: Yeah!

Jaune: ... Do you feel something approaching at very high speeds?

Coco: Yeah, She's called Yang. See you tomorrow.

Jaune: Why?

Yang:

Yang: I NEED TO SUCK DICK!

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #rwby shitpost #now that's a shitpost #dragonslayer #coco adel

[onlycringepost]

#not mine #nobody told me this exists #I CANT BREATHE #shitpost #chaoscore #textpost #bastardcore #i will use this response from now on

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[honeypleasejustkillme]

who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd problems #bpd vent #bpd mood #actually cptsd #childhood trauma #if only i was treated better as a child #maybe i wouldn’t be so fucked up now

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

#shitpost incoming #I'm converting my friend into a star wars fan so I thought why not make a dictionary for every new fic reader lmao #star wars #writing star wars #star wars languages #star wars lore #im definitely missing some but these are words I've seen most commonly used in fanfic #userlumi #writing star wars fic #aurebesh #galactic basic Standard #as long as one person finds this post helpful it was worth it #youre all welcome to add to it #im stopping now coz otherwise I'mma clog the dash

[deep-space-lines]

I know Gabriel is canonically really popular with Heaven’s residents but there’s bound to be some heavenly loser with pronoun envy

#my art #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #i love angel pronoun lore #he earned those pronouns fair and square and now he gets to wear a he/him pin like the badges on military uniforms #of course he has blue wings and pronouns #also can you fuckin imagine being a virtue?? #imagine you live your entire life as a Good Christian(tm) and then u get to heaven and find out not only do u still have to work a 9 to 5 #you have to do it in hell #forever #man i’d be salty too #straka's shitposts #sketches

[spiderdaynightlive]

"oh hey what the hell"

bathroom's closed; wasp photoshoot

"what"

*reviewing my settings and lowering ISO* bathroom's closed. wasp photoshoot.

#look yes i do prefer out in nature shots but sometimes the wasps dont want to come out of the spiky spiky trees #invertebrate shitposting #macro photography #wasps #bugs #now this is the real IECC experience