#okAY SORRY I'M RAMBLING

[duckzz]

self-care is stargazing with your found family after going through a bunch of traumatic events <3

based on the last chapter of this absolute masterpiece

#white collar #fawn's art #white collar tv show #peter burke #neal caffrey #elizabeth burke #white collar fanart #yish did it take me a while to start this piece! #at first i wanted to draw it for caffrey-burke day #but then i just told myself 'uh wait they stargaze on halloween! i could post it on halloween! :D' #aaand i only remembered to do it on the 29th lmao #so it's like a late halloween-ish piece haha!! :'3 #also it's based on a scene in the caffrey conversation series by penna_nomen and silbrith on ao3! #if you haven't checked their work out yet i DEFINITELY recommend it #seriously i'm still in awe at the plotlines it's incredible. i have no clue how they came up with all those ideas but just. . wOW 🥺👌 #and the characters. oh dear the cHARACTERS #i'm so attached to all of them it's crazy!!! (especially klaus. . ah klaus my beloved. . 😔👌💕💖) #okAY SORRY I'M RAMBLING #anyway #if y'all couldn't tell i really love this fic haha sO UH big shoutout to the authors love their work!!! it's hella impressive!!! <3 #and i had a blast with this piece 😎👌i haven't drawn a background in a while tho but like. it was still fun :D #oof there's a lot of tags. if you're still reading these uh. . looks like i felt like talking lmao :]✌️

[simplenefelibata]

as much as i love sam knowing about destiel before dean does, there's something about "i mean yeah my brother and his angel best friend are really weird about each other, live together, co-parent a kid, nearly kill themselves every time the other is gone, stand too close and stare at the other's mouth while they talk, but i mean to each their own i guess??" that's so special to me

#it's just so funny #and when it finally clics he's like #OH #that... explains a lot actually #he's so committed to believe dean's heterosexual act #and you know what i respect sam for it #if the dude says he's straight then it doesn't matter he stares at men lusting! he's STRAIGHT. #i'm sam btw #i had a friend who told me for 6 months he was straights while he performed in my face Telephone by Lady Gaga #and also knew the entire loona lore #but he said he was STRAIGHT okay #i had the audacity (or the politeness ig) to act surprised when he came out #i'm rambling #sorry #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #spn #casdean #sam winchester

[scificrows]

i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again #at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #i just love martha wells' writing for things like that #and i love murderbot as a character so very much #also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend #i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed #or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!” #listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand #but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it #and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole #and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books #things are not magically better #just yeah #okay imma add #tw depression #tw suicide #(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up #and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult) #(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry) #also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with

[aibyoutachi]

some souyo that i didn't feel like sharing really :'3333

#my art #i tried doing one of those doodle pages. idk i dont think it worked #i'll do better next time #you think nanako calls yosuke yosuke-nii #that would be really cute #i think they would play dress up with nanako and teddie #souji happily and yosuke begrudgingly #the hanamura-dojima family <-delusional lols #okay but they're both big brothers... #it's so cute #also with the doodle on the right i think souji would fluster yosuke on purpose and yosuke would do it without thinking #he'd be like “you're so smart partner of course you got the top scores” #doesn't he basically do that already #“it's as if i got the highest score myself!” #yosuke's gay ass #sorry i'm rambling on these tags #someone let me talk to them about souyo please please please #let me just spam your dms #with my headcanons #if you got this far uhhh... drop your favorite souyo headcanon in my inbox + a souyo prompt and i'll draw it :)

[lucy-ghoul]

can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.

#mind you idt the writers will ever have the guts to go for this pair or anything and i'm perfectly okay with the maximus/lucy romance #but still. they tried to give us the wholesome love story between two cuties with a killer side #and the fandom went ~mmmh we kinda want for that girl and the noseless radioactive ghoul to fuck nasty actually #shhdhdhf i'm sorry but this was so predictable to me. conosco i miei polli #also. i don't fully understand those who see it as a father/daughter thing? just because it worked on tlos #doesn't mean we need the same kind of dynamic here #1. despite him being an actual father (or at least. he was 200+ years ago) i've never seen a less paternal character than the ghoul lmao #2. lucy is an adult woman. young but in her mid twenties i guess? cooper had (and maybe still has) a daughter but the kid was like. 6 or 7? #lucy doesn't need a daddy she's a grown up. stop infantilizing women all the freaking time #let them be fully equals!! let them be bickering road trip companions/a killer squad/tentative allies who eventually form a real bond #i SWEAR if the writers go full parent/child bs with them in s2 because they're more popular #(at least on ao3. i don't expect the same level of insanity from the general audience) #than the canon ship i'll riot. idt they will but still #..... maybe they should go for a hot max/lucy/coop polycule instead. that would be interesting lmao #vaultghoul #fallout #val rambles in the tags #val speaks #txt

[merakiui]

thinking,,,,,,,, darling who has a cryptic pregnancy....... [insert twst character here] reacting to it,,, maybe you and floyd and you're both a little dense because neither of you could have ever guessed. T_T

"what do you mean you were pregnant this whole time???? i thought shrimpy just got softer. :D" - floyb mindset.

in floyd's defense, he has no idea how human pregnancies work. he slept through that part of land boot camp!!! fell asleep the minute the professor started droning on about how humans don't lay eggs like mers do. jade can only chuckle (maybe he knew, but in classic jade fashion he won't tell because it's much more entertaining to sit back and watch everyone slowly figure it out) and azul is shaking his head in disbelief. had he known, he would have prepared well in advance to lend a helping hand. and you're just so amazed because maybe you were told you're unable to get pregnant, but somehow it happened and you had no idea all this time.

thank you to floyd and his mer virility for doing what was thought to be the impossible!!!!!! <3

#meraki mumbles #tw: pregnancy #conversely this happens with rollo and he's convinced it's a gift from god LOL he feels very blessed <3 #OOOOO THIS CONCEPT WITH CATER #i need to write something with cater....... he gives me many thoughts but i never write any of them >_< #WAIT. CATER BEING SOMETHING OF A CRINGEFAIL #he kinda sorta sucks at adulting but he's trying and you're his roommate and you're not in a relationship but you fuck #and cater's okay with it because it's easier when he's not attached #but then cryptic pregnancy happens and now he's hit with the weight of: 'wow..... i'm going to be a father' #cater definitely goes to trey for advice #omg cater inviting riddle and trey to breakfast and being like 'sooooo what if i said cay-cay's gonna be a dad? :3' #he catches both of them so off guard... #AAAAAA SORRY FOR RAMBLING IN TAGS OTL

[cockworkangels]

thank you for the idea to paint eileen @caught-a-dragonfly :)

#thank you for the suggestion this was such a fun challenge for me! also i hope it's okay that i tagged you :) #i neeeed to practise painting more this made me realise i really have no idea how to do anything i'm always just winging it #i've had this in my drafts for like a month and i wasn't happy with it i tried to fix it a little today and i think it got a little bit #better. but i should try painting more in the future to get a better grasp of it :) #sorry for putting so much ramblings in the tags lol #spn #supernatural #eileen leahy #spn fanart #eileen leahy fanart #my art #digital art #art practice

[statementlives]

can't stop thinking about how much we must be missing because the journey from "oh hello, are you still listening?" to ~vaguely sentient programming glitches in windows nt~ is just not making any sense

#okay sorry enough rambling #but seriously what happened #i'm so impatient i need to know #the magnus protocol #tmagp #the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp spoilers #mine

[blimbo-buddy]

sasha darkstripe and tigerstar

#blimbo rambles #wc #darksasha #sure okay. #typing out the image id was an experience #i forgot the fox lady's name and frankly I'm not going to look for it #anyways I'm sorry (no i'm not)

[siliconforbrains]

Okay, it's like 10pm on a work night and I haven't had any coffee today so my thoughts are a little scrambled BUT. I WAS THINKING.

(About In Stars and Time of course I'm always thinking about that game)

A couple of years ago, at the height of Steddie -my sister was big into it and recced me some fics okay- I read this fic about Steve dealing with time loops ("The one in which a time loop is fucking exhausting" by badpancake) and there was this specific detail about the epilogue that stuck with me.

It was the idea that, once the time loops were done and over with, people would slowly start to remember bits and pieces of what happened in earlier loops. After being fractured for so long across dozens of timelines and experiences and outcomes, time was finally healing, and broken shards of lost memories would find their way back into people's minds.

And that got me thinking about a post-game what-if scenario where the same happens to the gang as they travel through Vaugarde.

Like they still don't remember everything -just bits and pieces. Experiences so emotionally charged that they found a way to cross the sands of time and reach them again.

The question is, what would those memories be? The first answer that comes to mind is some of Siffrin's deaths, of course. I can't imagine watching your friend get pancake-d by a boulder would be pleasant, nor witnessing them turning their own dagger to themselves. Or offering him a slice of your favorite snack only for him to go into anaphylactic shock in front of your very eyes, for that matter!

But there would be other instances too, wouldn't they? Death is not the only thing that shook them to their core. What about their first death to the King? Or Bonnie's fate at the end of Act 3? What about basking in the blissful feeling of victory against the tormentor of your land only to turn to look at your friend and know something is very, very wrong?

What about fighting through the House with a party of 4 instead of 5, bloodied, confused, staring in the face of the King knowing you're about to die and wondering why your friend left you all when you needed them most?

I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I've been rotating this concept in my head since this morning and thought I'd get it out on here so y'all can suffer with me tehee

#maxisrambling #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat siffrin #i genuinely don't know if i'd ever write a fic about this concept #esp bc i already have like 3 wips im working on and i don't need another #but if i ever were to it would be like. a post-game fic where the party realizes just how bad the loops were #how they affected siffrin and how they mightve affected /them/ #(bc love this found family to death but siffrin probably downplays a lot of the loops stuff until confronted /lh) #and meanwhile sif has to deal with the knowledge that his family is remembering things he never wanted them to remember #seeing things they never shouldve seen #and is probably filled with a fuckton of guilt about that bc even now that the loops are broken they're hurting them #they all need a hug oh my god #OFC it would have a happy hopeful ending but NSDJKVNDJKFV angst hurt/comfort <3 #okay im done rambling hopefully this makes sense #im gonna go pass out now id say sorry but I'm not lmao xoxo

[sentientsky]

i'm still only a few hours into bg3 (mostly cause i'm working with a laggy computer that screams at me every time i try to open the game), but i've heard stories about gale, and these are my conclusions thus far:

#(alex is asleep so you all get to deal with my terrible memes and ramblings in the meantime. i am so sorry ajkdljad) #anyway i haven't even met gale in the game yet but his loser energy (affectionate) has captivated me already #i'm going to bed oh my god i'm so tired. okay goodnight ajkdslja #bg3 #gale bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #shitpost #bg3 text post #bg3 memes #not good omens #will return to our regularly scheduled good omens shitposting when i wake up lol

[akuma-tenshi]

i got access to transparent versions of these designs so now i'm unstoppable. if i make an ashes of memory shitpost expect me to use these banger costumes instead of their boring-ass regular designs /hj

#rambling #idv #identity v #a very sad lack of mary #but i just didn't think to use her for any of these #idv ashes of memory #idv aom #ashes of memory #frederick kreiburg #idv composer #alice deross #idv journalist #idv orpheus #idv novelist #norton campbell #idv prospector #melly plinius #idv entomologist #their regular designs aren't actually boring okay i love them i'm sorry it's a joke

[jils-things]

by the lighthouse.

dividers

#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha #so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over #i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble #the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday #so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now? #i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace #I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha #i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn #also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe #soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo #ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here! #sooo yaaa #~ art #♥️ memoryshipping #also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔

[antihibikase-archive]

It is incredibly isolating to navigate through fandom as an aromantic person. Aro experiences are so varied, and there is no definite aro experience that encapsulates the alienation that fandom spaces cause for certain people.

Fandom is mostly built and structured on shipping. And if not, the blorbofication of characters, which tends to go down the shipping pipeline; where does that leave the romance repulsed aro person who genuinely does not want to see any form of shipping? Platonic dynamics, right?

Yeah, sure. But by platonic dynamics, it's only "best friends" or "family" right? Where does that leave the aro folks with undefined labels? No, qprs aren't a get-out-of-jail card.

And qprs- they have no rules or standards set upon them by society, not even having a clear definition for what it is, because not all qprs are the same. Yet, for some reason, it ended up becoming the "nonbinary" option to a lot of people- not romantic or "regular" platonic? Qpr it is, right?

But where does that leave the aro folk who don't want a qpr? Who don't wish to see characters depicted in pairs or trios or so forth- who embrace the lack of a partner?

And these concepts presented; when aro folk talk about them, do you care? And if you do, do you understand? Do you try to?

If you aren't aro, but wish to be supportive, are you a genuine ally? Do you raise the concerns of aro folk you share the space with?

Or do you take a look at these concepts- and decide you understand them "well" enough? Do you decide to speak for aro folks instead?

Do you depict relationships outside of romance because you believe in the importance of platonic relationships? Will you accept the fact that not all platonic interactions will be familial or "best friends"?

Can you accept depictions of qprs outside of "more than friends, less than lovers"? Are you willing to accept it is not just "best friends" or "romance lite"? Will you accept that nothing is inherently romantic- and characters in a qpr may fall under your standards of lovers?

Can you resist the urge to put every character in a pair or trio or group? Are you comfortable with the notion of characters finding more joy in being by themselves, outside of all those lenses you see them in?

It's good if you can.

And if you can't, at the very least, do you understand why some aro folk in your space are upset? Embittered by your favorite ships? Starving for representation?

Did you depict these characters with these concepts with the knowledge that aromanticism is fluid?

#antihibikase.txt #Long Post #((I'm sorry. I have been thinking about this for weeks and I am unhappy.)) #((Honestly? I have been feeling more and more isolated in fandom recently.)) #((It hurts. I know non aro folks are trying.)) #((And its hard to describe. It's alienating.)) #((And the typical fandom response is more representation- which is well-meaning.)) #((But. Specifically to non aro folk. When you depict these aro concepts are you normal about them.)) #((Do you do so respectfully.)) #((Reminder that qprs are not restricted to aro folks btw.)) #((I'm so so tired. It's easy to say you care but then completely miss the mark.)) #((And just in case- this is NOT alluding to anyone. Please allow me to let my rage be my own.)) #((Or to share this with those who understand.)) #((And if you as a non aro person feel attacked by this- sorry.)) #((I did my best to word this as firmly as possible without sounding angry because I am aware that-)) #((-many will read this in bad faith.)) #((Okay to reblog btw.)) #((This isn't one of my usual rambles despite it being under my txt tag.))

[l-thefriendlyghost]

"what cause do you have with these bad kids? Do you not see there is a better word?'

"I'm in!"

Oh my God these lines a long with Brennan's narration makes me both so excited and nervous. Like is Riz going to be forcibly turned against the other bad kids? I personally always love the type of drama that stims from story lines like that. For example that teen titans one where Robin was forced to be Slade's apprentice. So it be really interesting if this went on for a bit. It probably won't but hey we can wait and see right?

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy #riz gukgak #ramble #brennan lee mulligan #brian murphy #and I'm sorry okay but Murphy's line delivery?!? has me losing okay #good night

[bionicle-ramblings]

Can you guys imagine if Takua SOMEHOW got his memories of being an Av-Matoran back while he was in Netru Nui?

Like, he remembers and knows what he used to look like, but he remembers to keep it to himself or he's going to die, so now he just keeps his mouth shut and very clearly puts on a facade for anyone looking

Jaller and Vakama are not fooled at all and eventually decide to have an "intervention" of sorts and talk to Takua somewhere only the three of them know, asking him what's gotten into him because he's acting weird; he's not really exploring around like he used to and he sometimes misses work entirely, not showing up for the day

Takua tries to dodge the question, but Jaller and Vakama aren't having it at all

Ultimately, it leads to Takua saying he'll tell them, but they MUST whisper about it so no one accidentally hears them, just in case. Amd asks them not to freak out, because what he remembered STILL has him freaked out

Odd thinsg to ask for, but Jaller and Vakama agree and Takua lets the cat out of the bag:

He's actually not a Ta-Matoran at all. He's DISGUISED as one. He's really a Matoran of Light, an Av-Matoran, and he and the other Matoran aren't actually from Metru Nui, but were made solely to work in Metru Nui because working on Metru Nuiis also working on a Giant Fuck-off robot they're all inside of right now

It takes a moment for both Jaller and Vakama to react, in case this is a joke, but it's not. Jaller is at a loss of words, having known Takua a little longer. Vakama, on the other hand, only has more questions, i.e. How did he find out? Does he remember any others like him or know if they're in the city? What is he even doing in Meteu Nui? Why did he have to go into hiding?

Takua, getting emotional, asks the two if they're mad at him. It confuses them both and Takua admits that they should kind of be mad at him because he didn't tell them something SO important and that that something essentially changes who he is, or at least answers a lot of questions he himselfnshould have answered

Jaller admits that he's surprised, but not angry. He always did wonder where Takua came from, but he's just glad Takua isn't some kind of escaped prisoner or something worse than the Vahki or Dark Hunters

Takua panics and lets slip that he was hidden so the Dark Hunters wouldn't find him, and sentient lightning, but that's a story for later

Still, he asks why neither are angry with him and their answer is simply: Why should they be? He's their friend and, honestly, the reason the three are together at all. They always had their doubts about him being a Ta-Matoran, so knowing a bit of the bigger picture does clear somethings up

It's a big moment, one that both leaves Takua realizing that he's got some AMAZING friends and that

I imagine that the loneliness Takua has would leave slightly, but then he has a new problem to deal with: Dysmorphia, as he knows what he used to look like and used to be and he can't exactly look how he truly wants to lest he risk getting captured and killed by Dark Hunters or the Brotherhood of Makuta

Idk, this was more food for thought than anything

#bionicle #ramblings #takua #vakama #jaller #ta metru trio #I'm starting to love Takua a lot okay? sorry #and just imagine #long post