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soft-for-them · 3 years

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husband has a real ring to it ♡ sam wilson x male reader

anon: hey so like, being sam wilson's husband (or new husband) at your wedding??? (sorry it’s a bit short...)

i haven’t specified if the male reader is cis or trans but there is a bit in here where the reader compares themself to steve, whether you see this as the reader being trans or cis is up to you.

the gif has no significance it’s just a good gif... also there is a HUGE lack of sam content out there. people get you shit together and write about my fave man. not proof read.

It is an odd time.

The country you now stand in is completely foreign to you. Nat can speak the language; you think it might me some form of Russian. If you could guess you think you might be in the Ukraine or a country that was once a part of Soviet Union.

None of the on the run Avengers will tell you exactly where you are for you safety but you don’t care.

All you care about right now is the blazer you just tried on is too wide at the shoulders.

Even Steve says the shoulders of the jet black jacket are too wide even for him and that saying something coming from a man who was artificially made to be the spitting image of masculinity and heroism.

Sometimes you do get jealous of the super soldier and how he came to be.

Once a skinny and short kid now the second most handsome man you’ve ever seen, sometimes you think ‘if only i was as strong as Steve and not a useless civilian’.

Thought if anyone hears your negative thoughts in this small, cramped room off the side of a small abandoned church you would be done for.

Natasha, Wanda, Steve and Sam have always loved you and they don’t tolerate your pessimism at all. None of them will take your self-loathing especially on this very day.

But that’s the thing, you’re not self-loathing today. You push away any non-happy thoughts and put on a genuine smile.

It may not be official in the eyes of the law for your other half is a wanted war criminal but your getting married to your long time boyfriend Sam Wilson today and nothing will stop you from doing so. You have both promised that he will properly marry you but for now you have agreed to exchanging rings.

‘Where did you find this place?’ you ask Nat as she takes you too big blazer from you.

The place is completely and utterly abandoned in the middle of nowhere. Plants have caved in apart of the roof but the stained glass still absorbs and reflects light making the rotten pews look like the seats of a king.

‘I knew you might not want to get married in a church but this is the safest place I could find, that with the fact this is no longer a place of worship.’ She walks over to you and tucks a handkerchief into your white dress shirt pocket.

Regardless of if your religious or not you know this place is a perfectly acceptable place to trade rings with the man you love.

Nat looks you over and smiles, her arms wrapping themselves around you in a rare hug.

‘You look very handsome (y/n).’ she mutters.

‘Even with my beard?’ you half joke, referring to the scraggly hair growing back on your chin from shaving it off the week before for a disguise.

‘You have a better beard that Sam and Cap put together.’ Her tone is joyous but utterly serious which makes you smile grow even bigger.

You do not feel any negativity, all you feel is utter euphoria in your wedding attire.

‘You ready to go’ she whispers like a happy mother about to marry off her only son.

All you do is nod as you let her lead you out to the alter where you both wait for Sam and Cap to arrive.

Wanda sits in a front pew; she very obviously misses Vision and if it was up to you he would be here to celebrate for you had befriended the synthetic man before the ‘civil war’ happened.

But alas none of you can risk you all being found out on your unofficial wedding day.

For a moment you all wait in silence looking up the stain glass of some kind of saint.

This isn’t the place you want to get married in but you can see it’s charm even if it’s been abandoned, ransacked and left to rot.

You can imagine Steve giving Sam a prep talk, for he had given you one about an hour before.

When Steve had talked to you he seemed like a overjoyed father, even with the tears in his eyes, you’re still thankful the super soldier talked to you.

Your waiting is cut short as the side door that you and Nat had came through opens to show both Steve and Sam.

Steve walks out first, holding the door open for Sam then Sam walks out, his eyes automatically on you.

‘Ow, I though Steve was going to walk you down the aisle.’ Wanda quips to Sam despite her brooding feelings.

A short conversation goes on between Sam and Steve (probably another pep talk) but all you can focus on is Sam looking at you as he talks to Steve.

Steve pats Sam on the shoulder, which turns into a hug, then he lets him go.

Sam wears a suit very similar to yours; a simple black suit that could be found quickly and very easily without being detected by Tony or an of the American government.

The woman in the small mum and pop shop where very kind to you both despite their being a language barrier, they had helped you get the suits for a good price.

Much like you also Sam wears no blazer jacket, with you don’t mind considering you can see every muscle through the hand made white shirt.

‘Where’s your blazer?’ you ask.

He walks right out to you and holds your hands. His hands are cold but you assume it’s from standing around in a derelict church for a while.

‘It was too small in the shoulders.’ He smiles, the gap in teeth showing.

‘Ah, that could have been my blazer Sam.’ You laugh grabbing the attention of the others. You all laugh at the mishap of the mixed up blazer but that doesn’t really matter.

Wanda stands up and passes both of you the rings; one single silver band with your name carved on the inside for you and a much fancier looking ring for Sam. Despite Sam’s ring looking more expensive it’s actually very cheap.

He had quickly bought it when you were all hiding out in China, Sam had quickly realised that he had a ring for you but he didn’t have one for himself. He’s had your pure silver ring for years now waiting for the right moment to give it to you.

‘How do we actually do this?’ you whisper whilst the other sit down on the pews.

‘I don’t really know, maybe when just exchange the rings and say something.’

‘Like vows? Do we kiss?’ the questioning isn’t really that serious for the two of you are smiling like idiots.

‘Well all I can say is that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you-’ Sam begins saying as he slips the silver ring on your finger, ’-I love you my husband.”’

’Wow… husband has a real ring to it.’ You beam as look down at Sam’s hands, you fingers nimbly placing his ring on, ‘-Does this now mean I get to kiss the bride?’

Your joke not only makes yourself laugh but you can hear the laughter of the other in the background.

‘Gladly.’ Is all Sam say before holding your face and kissing you.

honestly i don’t think this is the best thing ever but i’m posting it.

i’ve been writing a lot of ftm trans reader requests today so i kind of automatically wrote the reader as trans at first. i’ve changed it so the reader can be cis or trans but i just putting that out there just in case i’ve forgotten to change something. (sorry)

also i know that many people have different types of weddings and cultures so i’ve tried to make it as ambiguous as i can, that why it’s not a technically legal wedding.

anyway, sam is the best and i would love to write more fics for him!

#sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x male reader #sam wilson x ftm reader #x male reader #x ftm reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson

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bangtanlalaland · 4 years

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more than enough | knj (m.)

synopsis ⇣ your unfortunate divorce has left you questioning life and your entire existence. that is, until, your counselor demonstrates just how much you’re worth.

— marriage counselor!au

⇢pairing: marriage counselor!kim namjoon x divorcee!female reader

⇢genre: angst, smut, pwp

⇢word count: 5.4k

⇢contents ⨯ warnings: someone plz stop me from writing these porn-filled, no plot having fics, i think i need help, dom joon makes an appearance (who doesn’t love this man? uwu), lots of filthy filthiness, swearing, oral sex (f + m receiving), drunk bathroom oral sex actually (oops), did i mention jungkook makes an appearance? (he’s that blonde babe from the bathroom scene) 😏, masturbation, unprotected sex (always stay safe!), rough sex, breathplay, dumbification, hair-pulling, spanking, slapping, choking, creampie, impreg kink (ugh my fave), over-stimulation, voyeurism (oof), multiple orgasms, name-calling (being called a slut), jungkook’s tongue is magical, namjoon’s dick is huge (don’t @ me), premature ejaculation (oops)

a/n: I’ve had this also in my wips for awhile 💜 including like 10+ wips with joon because he’s my bby & I love him so much ugh!

Your fingertips awkwardly fiddle with themselves, a slight tension in your shoulders that you’re sure is visible. With legs crossed, you take a deep breath and contemplate your next guilty pleasure meal of the day. Everything around you seems black and white; since your divorce, you’d become null and void — not understanding why life itself got you to this point. You’d often question your purpose in life.

Why me? What did I do wrong? Am I not enough?

But here you are, reminiscing when everything seemed smooth, lovely, and peaceful. When things weren’t always about arguing over finances, hectic work schedules, a decrease in the amount of quality time spent together, or most importantly: pleading for just the smallest ounce of attention.

The sudden sound of your counselor’s throat clearing startles you, “Mrs. ____?” His notepad and pen in hand, his eyebrows raising up at you, slightly. Not having realized you’d zoned out, your fingers stop moving on their own accord. Your back straightens up just a tad more.

“Sorry, I-”

He cracks a smile, his hand raising up in reply, “Don’t be. Take your time,” You take a deep breath, and silently woosah yourself. Some part of you is curious as to why people like your counselor work these kinds of jobs. You couldn’t imagine having a career where you’re required to keen in on people’s problems everyday and offer advice, when you have problems of your own and can’t get your shit together.

Ugh, life.

“I’m hanging in there. I guess?” He cocks his head to the side, eyeing your expression.

“Can you tell me one good thing that happened to you this week?” You take a deep breath, followed by a coy smirk.

It had been a long time since you stepped out and especially in risqué attire. Your roudy friend and co-worker, Candice, insisted that you needed to spend the night out to celebrate your now freedom — post divorce. A slight sentiment of anxiety takes a toll on you, that is until she orders you both a couple shots of tequila to rile you up.

“Here’s to being young, wild, and free baby!” She exclaims, clinking her glass against yours. The both of you tilt your heads back, inducing more alcohol — hissing due to the slight burn in the back of your throat. Candice taps your shoulder, and hell were you feeling the aftermath of the liquor. You’re all giggles and feeling loopy.

Next thing you know, you’re locking lips with a cutie in the bathroom. Teeth and tongues clashing against each other, the thrill of getting it on with someone you don’t know was exhilarating — courtesy of the liquor in your system. Your mind hadn’t registered the lingering aroma of his cologne, until he pressed you up against the wall and stooped down on his knees, reaching under your dress to pull your panties to the side. Your lady lips revealed to him, and it’s as if he’s as horny as you are in this moment, if not more. The blonde-haired babe glares up at you with those pouty lips and dives head first. His nose brushes up against your clit as he licks a long strip along your folds, stopping to circling his tongue around the bud. His lips encase around your clit, and his muffled moans vibrate against your core, making you throb relentlessly with much arousal. He lifts your leg up and over his shoulder, while your back rests against the wall — an attempt to keep some leverage while having him in between your legs like this.

“Mmmm,” was all you could hear from him as he licks up and down your pussy lips, coating them with his saliva.

Your mind couldn’t even process the last time you’d been eaten out like this; uncontrollable moans slipping out of you, and it feels oh so damn good. Your hips grind against his tongue, helping to bring on your orgasm at a much quicker pace. His soft fingers grip your thighs to keep you in place. He pulls away with a pop and stares at you with those gorgeous, doe-like eyes. Your chest rises up and down, panting to gain your breath back. His fingers find purchase on your lips, and with a light tap you open up sucking them in your mouth. A low groan slips from him, you bob your head back and forth making sure to coat his digits and suddenly he pulls away. With furrowed brows, you hadn’t even processed that his fingers rammed into your pussy, your walls now warm and wet, inviting them in. Your fingers grasp onto his hair, pulling and tugging once his thumb swipes your clit intently. You’re so close and just need a slight push.

“Damn babe, how can you be this wet?” He giggles in your ear. You can smell whatever it is he doused himself in from the bar. You can’t quite pinpoint what exactly, but it is there.

“Just fuck me already, please” You plead with his fingers still inside you, he rubs your clit just right and repeatedly thrusts his fingers in and out. The obvious squelching sound of your pussy can be heard, and you pray to God nobody else suddenly walks in. You guys did lock the door right?

Shit.

And then he stops, removing his digits from you. You frown instantly.

“Need you in my mouth,” He adds, returning to his previous position from before, His lips wrap around your folds, sucking and tugging them with hunger. Like he’s having the most delicious meal in his last day on Earth. He continues to make obscene sounds with his slurping noises, his fingers press and rub onto your clit in a rapid motion. Your thighs give out, and it’s a clear indication to you that you’re going to cum. Has it really been this long? Have you really forgotten what it’s like to have an orgasm? That feeling deep within where the bottom of your tummy and core meet, feels tight as a knot. He lashes his tongue out to glide along your folds and sticks himself inside of you, tongue fucking you while rubbing your clit.

“I’m going to cum!” You cry with a labored breath. He uses your cry as a sign to lift your leg over his shoulder while he grips your waist, his hands land on your ass — gripping your cheeks firmly. His tongue lands flat to paint his saliva all over your cunt, his hands aid in gliding his tongue up and down your pussy at a rapid pace. He shakes his head back and forth, his tongue brushing across your throbbing, aching clit as a result. He continues at his relentless pace and suddenly that feeling inside snaps.

“Fuck!” Your thighs tremble violently and your core contracts continuously. Your back arches off the wall, but the stranger doesn’t stop his motions, his tongue continues on its own accord, not letting up. You even feel his fingernails digging into your cheeks slightly. Your fingers grasp onto his strands, tugging with an necessary amount of force — mimicking his motions. His low moans suddenly drawing out more than you expected, adding an extra touch to your orgasm, — your clit feeling used having been stimulated for a moment too long. The trembling of your body subsides, your legs attempting to hold on for a little longer as you fight to push him from you.

“O-okay. Okay, that’s- E-enough. Fuck!” To your luck he pulls off with a swipe of his hand across his mouth, panting and out of breath. You assume that’s the only reason he gave up, until you notice he continues to moan, his face contorted into an expression you suppose is from a feeling of ecstasy. And then his gaze drops down to his clothed crotch; his wide eyes roam upwards to your form, with lips parted. Your trembling figure gradually regaining composure.

“Oops,” He slips, letting out a contagious laugh. You follow where his gaze was before and shake your head.

“I-it’s okay, I understand.” His eyes crinkle up in a crescent-moon shape, and you somehow notice the rosy tint of his cheeks, streaming to his ears. Poor thing. He’s probably embarrassed.

Your counselor listens with open ears, taking in everything you’re describing to him, while jotting down what you think are a few notes. But to your unknown avail, he has written:

Client lacks in sex life, due to divorce Stranger gives oral sex; client reaches orgasm

Namjoon clears his throat before proceeding, “And what is it that makes this-” He pauses to gather the correct words, attempting to wash away the imagination of you spreading your legs out, pussy on display, on his leather sofa.

“Experience a good one for you? Is it the thrill from having an orgasm? Maybe the act of having a stranger perform oral sex on you? Or is it because he orgasmed in his pants by performing oral sex on you?”

You contemplate for a moment, thinking deeply about his speculation. You admit it; he’s great at his job. Well, at least better than you would probably be in his line of work. With legs still crossed, you playfully dangle your ankle up and down, your leg now having fallen asleep but you’re somewhat in an awkward state — speaking to a male about your recent sexcapade.

It’s times like these that you wished you were referred a female counselor. And it doesn’t help with how attractive Mr. Kim is, which is definitely a deal breaker for you. You take in his lavender streaks that paint the strands of his hair, paired with highlights of platinum blonde.

Although, you can’t help but ponder what he thinks of all this? Seeing it as you’re a divorced woman, having developed a dry spell, and can’t seem to even orgasm from her previous husband — the person you’d committed your life to, to what you assumed would have been able to please you in the bedroom but unfortunately he failed. It’s embarrassing, to say the least.

Mr. Kim had been there through it all, the good and bad, the ups and downs, twists and turns. It wasn’t that he failed his job, no. He was perfect at it; but, your marriage simply failed. You wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Kim confessed that he knew what the outcome would be, because it was that obvious. But your ex-husband had to hire a professional simply because he was too prideful to admit his wrongdoings and actually “man up” to fix his problems.

Part of you hated that you’d stuck around after the divorce, and you’re surprised Mr. Kim hadn’t suggested you no longer needed of his services. But, you suppose he was just being kind, offering the best of his services — while another part of you assumed he understood that you do need someone to vent to. Being as that, doing so helps to ease the mind. You’re sure he’s aware that everyone needs to talk to someone, even if it’s a stranger.

Except in this case, Mr. Kim isn’t a stranger — quite the opposite actually and some part of you felt vulnerable to him. The fact he knew your story; any personal thing you could think of that’s ever happened to you — you had spilled it all to him. You contemplate: Who does he confide in, despite his career being that he helps those in desperate times of need? Does he ever vent to anyone? And if so, does it help him to stay sane?

You shake your head at the thought of it all, wanting to piece the entire process altogether. You’d almost forgotten he was still here in this very room with you, awaiting a response to slip. And damn, is he patient. You curse yourself for having zoned out that much, and with a clearing of his throat you are gracefully brought back to reality. The atmosphere suddenly parching your form, an odd sensation of heat pooling over you — paired with a sheen of cold sweat approaching.

He stares into your gaze, as if studying you for a moment.

“Mrs. ____?” His eyes still glued onto you, searching for any sign that you will open your mouth for once. But, you can’t seem to say anything else but one word.

“Control.” His eyebrows flick in response and he slowly nods — having scribbled something into his notes:

Control?

“Control?” He questions, giving you the spotlight to elaborate on whatever it is you’re implying. Your foot stops dangling, having now closed both of your legs entirely, squeezing them together. The visual of that stranger’s mouth lapping at your cunt flashes through your mind.

You take a deep breath, “Yes, control.” Namjoon’s eyebrows quirk upward, as if signaling for you to continue already.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” You blurt out while grabbing your belongings, in a hurry to leave. Namjoon seethes. He’d endured months, perhaps a year of therapy with you. He refused to let you walk out without being satisfied. And he knows exactly what you need. He had the date written down, when you came to him for one of your sessions and confessed how long it had been since you had sex. It’s a memory he’d never forget, because although he’s a licensed counselor and shouldn’t personally involve himself with his clients — with you it was different. He despised the way your ex-husband treated you. It was wrong, and he couldn’t take the pain of seeing you stressed beyond your limits.

“ ____,” His deep voice now dipped in a stern tone, one you’d never heard before, and he never calls you by your first name. Like ever. With your back turned, you can feel his presence directly behind you. So close, you could practically drown in the warmth radiating from his body. He reaches past you, his fingers finding placement over the lock of the door.

“Sit down,” he commands. You shudder under his rigid voice, finding yourself to obey as he instructs, somewhat afraid of what he’d do if you didn’t comply. His towering figure follows back to his seat prior to your attempt of departing. His legs now spread wide and back slightly slumped in his chair. Your shoulders naturally tense themselves, a result of the heat wave washing over you.

Namjoon glares at you with an unreadable expression, as if he’s peering into your soul, a sudden churn resides in your tummy. You absentmindedly pull your dress down just a tad, the material now clinging to your skin due to the sweat that built up under Namjoon’s gaze.

He strokes his chin, and you thank the Heavens for that sight because it definitely gets you going. His slender fingers grazing amongst his skin, veins popping while doing so. You can only imagine what they would feel like inside your-

“Off the record, I know what you want.” He blurts out, stilling his motions. You question him with a rise of your eyebrows. The coy smirk that appears on his lips has you boiling on the inside, your thighs rubbing together pathetically — to ease the ache within your core. What the hell is this man doing to you?

“Should it be too much for you, the safe word is velvet.”

He removes his glass and places them down on the coffee table separating you both. He proceeds to make his way toward you, eyeing you down as if you’re his prey. He unbuckles his belt and slips, “You’ll do as I say when I say it and not give any back talk. Understand?” Your mouth flies agape at his sudden change in demeanor — only adding fire to the fuel in your heat.

He tilts your chin up with his finger, “Don’t make me ask you twice.”

“Yes- Yes, Namjoon.” He slaps your face, at first in a gentle manner, your kitty throbs in response at the sudden action.

“It’s Sir to you.” You nod in reply, “Yes, S-sir.”

Namjoon sits in his favorite spot, unbuttoning his slacks. His hands snake behind the garment, running along his shaft under his briefs.

“Open your legs and play with yourself,” He demands. Before your brain could process what he requested, your body moved instead. You pry open your legs and Namjoon is instantly met with your aching cunt.

“You little slut,” He mulls with a followed growl, his cock twitching under his grip. “You came all the way here with no fucking panties?”

You nod at his question, bringing your fingers to your wet folds.

“So fucking filthy.” Namjoon pumps himself at the sight of you grazing along your clit. “I should fuck you until you can’t think anymore.”

“Please,” you whine, grinding your hips. You lick the pads of your fingers and rub your clit instinctively, a moan falling from your lips.

“Is that what you want?” He coos, precum seeping from the slit on the head of his cock. “You want me to fuck you silly? Make you cream all over my cock like the good, little bitch you are?”

Wanton moans now become uncontrollable for you, and you lose yourself in Namjoon’s sexy voice laced with lust, “Yes, Sir. P-please, fuck me. I need your cock.”

A low rumble emits from his chest, he runs his fingers through his strands that were glued to his forehead. He pushes his trousers and briefs down to his knees.

“Come here. Now.” He motions with his index finger, and you find yourself at his beck and call. Namjoon slides himself down further in his seat and gestures you over him.

“Sit on my face,” You do exactly as he says and hover over his face. He doesn’t hesitate to grip your hips and lodge his tongue inside of your hot heat. His nose nuzzles your clit in the process, soaking in the fragrance of your womanhood. He graciously fucks your hole with his tongue, then slithers along your inner folds. He sucks and tugs onto them between his plump lips, groaning into your cunt. You naturally grind your hips, following his motions.

“Oh, fuck.” You slip, while grazing your fingers within his strands. Namjoon’s fingers dig deeper onto your hips. He lays his tongue flat down to glide against your clit, your folds having been coated in his saliva. He peers up at you with those wide, sexy eyes, and the sudden shock of his palm smacking your ass jolts you forward — your grip landing on the leather seat. His moans continue to reverberate within your core, emitting a cry of euphoria from you. He wraps his plush lips around your nub and sucks feverishly. His nails graze along the flesh of your ass cheeks and…

Smack.

“Mmmm, Sir!” He shakes his head back and forth, and sucks your clit again — sending you into your second orgasm in the past week. Your thighs tremble and back arches slightly, your nails claw the leather of the seat and your hips grind along his tongue — an attempt to ride out your high. Namjoon lands another harsh smack onto your bottom, and you scream maybe just a little too loud for your liking, yet it’s music to his ears.

But, he doesn’t stop.

He continues his ministrations, and just as you try to break away from his steady pace, he constrains your hips with his large hands, locking you in place. He doesn’t let up on your now sensitive clit, and instead continues to slide his tongue all around and onto your bud. You shake your head in reply, the stimulation being too much but somehow there’s this burning ache that re-approaches, and you know there’s yet another orgasm approaching.

You push his head away, desperately wanting him to get his mouth off your aching pussy.

“P-please, Please.” You plead. But he grips onto you harder and shakes his head in a “no” gesture, his tongue gliding along your clit while doing so. His lips encase around your nub again and eagerly sucks the life out of you. Your legs shiver.

Namjoon mumbles within you, “Cum on my face, again.” His hand slaps your ass cheek again and again, sending you into your second orgasm that seems more powerful than the first. Your entire body convulses, eyes roll back, and you let out a screeching cry. He gently rubs the area he’d smacked before, and peels his mouth from you finally. He slaps your cheek again and demands, “On the couch. Now.”

You’re barely able to recover from your orgasm, and with shaky legs you set on your two feet to make your way over to the leather sofa. Joon follows behind and drops his trousers and briefs down to his ankles, kicking the garments to the side. Your met with the sight of his length, and you audibly gasp. He’s so thick, and your kitty clenches just by looking at him. His dick springs up, and you note the precum now dripping from his slit and down into a thin line.

“Come here,” He says while pushing your head onto his length. He stuffs his cock into your mouth, fucking your throat relentlessly. You grab onto his thick, juicy thighs to keep some leverage. The lewd noises of your throat being fucked can be heard through the office space. Namjoon’s breath hitches at the view of you stuffed with him entirely, his dick literally choking the life out of you. He lets out a grimacing chuckle, “Finally you can keep your mouth shut, huh? Let someone else take control, hm?” He bucks his hips forward, the veins in his arm protruding as his grip on your hair tightens, thrusting himself back and forth into your mouth.

His head falls back in ecstasy. Your nails graze along his bare thighs, begging for a release of air. And you assume that inspires him to torture you even more because before you could process what’s happening. He pinches your nose shut, to keep you from breathing, and holds himself at the back of your throat. You pound his thighs as a result.

“Look at me.” He commands, and with tears streaming down your cheeks, your gaze follows up to his hooded lids as you eagerly pound your fists onto his thighs and scratch the flesh. You’re convinced you are on the verge of passing out until he lets out the sexiest moan you’d ever heard in your life and that’s when his thighs tense up in your touch, his lower abdomen contracts, and bursts of warm cum shoot down your throat. You shut your eyes to focus on not passing out, but somehow with his added jizz, it doesn’t help. You continue to smack his thighs to signal you’re on your way to Heaven if he doesn’t let up. You feel his cock gradually easing out, and then he says…

“Fucking swallow.”

And so you do, managing to swallow every drop of him and finally he releases his throbbing member from your mouth. As soon as you are let free to breathe in some kind of air, you suck in a huge breath — followed by some coughs to gain your breathing back, and then an odd sensation within your head subsides. Once again, you can’t recover. Namjoon pulls you by your hair and shoves you toward the leather sofa.

“Bend down.” And you do exactly as you’re told, obeying him as if you’re a puppy and he’s your owner. Namjoon pumps himself and slaps your ass once you bend completely over, arching your back to push your bottom out more profoundly.

“Such a good slut.” He slaps your ass and you whimper at his harsh demeanor. Somehow you manage to wiggle your goods at him, wanting to know what that monster between his legs feel like, and your craving doesn’t go unnoticed. Namjoon tugs your hair, making you arch your back whilst he forces your entire form against his chest. His stiff length is pressed against your ass, and you find yourself grinding against him for just any type of friction to ease the level of horny that’s overcome your being.

“Look at you all needy for my cock. I don’t think you’re fucking ready for me, hm?” His hold on you grows tighter, and the sharp pain of him pulling your strands, mixed with his cock rutting against your behind, strangely makes your core twitch — a dire need of attention.

“Oh, but Sir! I am ready. Plea-” With that, Namjoon shoves you forward back into doggystyle. And when your back isn’t arched enough to his liking, he takes a big blow to your ass, prompting you to adjust your posture. You’re sure by the end of this so called “session” you’ll slip from his establishment sore and bruised. The tip of his cock nudges at your entrance, he runs himself along your dripping labia, making sure to smother himself in your wet. The rising heat in the pit of your core makes you anxious. You can’t remember the last time it had been when you’d had sex, and you supposed Namjoon knows this. You’re not even sure what all this means. How could you both look at each other the same after this is all done? Will he let you go after this? Maybe refer a different counselor? Or will this continue to be what his “sessions” are about? Or is this just a one time thing, and after today, everything will go back to normal? But how could that be possible?

Your on-going thoughts are put on a hold when a slight stretching-like burn approaches so sudden, and you’re left with a wide-opened mouth. Your nails scrape the material of the couch you have left to hold onto. Namjoon feels like nothing you’d ever felt before. He’s big, you know that. But holy hell does he feel different than he looks; it’s something you can’t explain. With toes curling, you call out his name as if he’s the only person left on the plant. What did you do to deserve this kind of dick? Your walls clamp eagerly around his shaft, sucking him in entirely — like a vacuum.

“Shit! It’s been that long, huh?” He admits, gritting his teeth at the sentiment of how tight you are. “He- Let this go?” He adds, while bottoming out completely. Pulling almost all the way out to slam right back into you — your body jerking forward in the process. “S-so fucking stupid. How- Mmmm.” Namjoon can’t contain himself; he pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts, trying beyond his limits to not blow his load into you so quickly.

“How could he let this go?” He pulls out and slams back into you again, this time with a harsh punch. He reaches for your hair, balling his fist into the strands, because for this time, he can’t just take it easy on you.

“More for me, then.” And that’s when you scream as if you’re being murdered — more like your vagina is. Namjoon begins a brutal pace, ramming into you and having no second thoughts about it.

“Oh! Unfgh, S-sir!” Your eyes shut instantly and face scrunches up in pleasure; you’d honestly never felt so high in your entire life. If you could be fucked like this at least once a week, you’d truly die happy.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you dumb?” He shoots with a hint of hostility. “I was relieved-” He punctuates with a harsh thrust, “To find out you both divorced… Wanted to fuck the shit out of you ever since you stepped foot into my office… Told me every fucked up thing he ever did to you.” You’re not even sure why but his confession has you smothering him in your juices. The fact he had a desire for you was hot, and you would be lying if you said you wouldn’t have fucked him the first time you had a session with him — that is, without your now ex-husband. Maybe Namjoon is right, maybe you are a slut. But who cares?

Namjoon releases his pull on your hair and pushes your head forward, you languidly fall onto the cushion and bury your face within it while he continues to bang out places in you that you never knew could be reached — his animalistic mannerisms are beyond your comprehension.

“Oh, yes!” You cry out, your figure shifting upwards from his vigorous pace. You nearly topple over at how hard he’s fucking you, and at this moment, you can’t fully think straight with him fucking you senselessly. The only sound you’re aware of is the slapping of his balls against your ass and his grunting here and there. You mumble a few incoherent words, and then a few slapping sounds follows. Your ass cheeks now burning with a hot passion.

“Look at you-” Namjoon grunts as he stills himself inside of you and twists your body around, leaving you to rest on your side. “Can’t even speak properly with my dick inside of you.”

Slap.

“Should clog this little pussy of yours up with my children.”

“Fucking come here,” He hauls you toward him to bring you closer, his cock sheathing itself fully inside of you. Not able to form proper words, your nails drag across his thigh and you wrap your leg around his waist, the heel of your foot digging into his bottom cheek. And just as you blinked, he wraps his hand around your throat and begins plunging his cock in and out of you repeatedly. You’re so close to cumming again, that you find some strength to ease your way between your legs and mindlessly rub your clit. Namjoon notes your actions and squeezes your throat harder.

“Yes! F-fuck!” You attempt to choke out; then Namjoon rams into that certain spot within you that has you seeing stars, and your orgasm floods your entire self that you’re shaking underneath him.

“Fuck yeah,” He coos while releasing your throat and slapping your face left and right. “He was so stupid, hm?” Your walls contracting around him has his cock twitching in a way that he knows is a warning of his impending orgasm. You clench so tightly around him, almost locking him in place, whilst creaming all over his shaft.

“Say it.” You whimper in reply, and he grips your face in place to keep you from squirming. “I want you to say how stupid your ex-husband was for leaving you. Say it now.” Your body continues to tremble and grow limp, yet you force the words from your mouth that even you surprised your own self.

“M-my ex-husband was stupid for leaving me, ahh!” Namjoon jams into you again, his thrusts now a much sloppier pace while his thumb reaches for your clit again, rubbing relentlessly. You wiggle around to somewhat ease your now sensitive, aching clit. But he doesn’t let you. He slaps your face again and pins your arms above your head, his body landing fully on top of yours. He licks the pads of his fingers to find your clit again, and you don’t think it’s possible to cum for the fourth time today, but you’re convinced Namjoon would prove otherwise.

“I want you to cum on my cock again.” He states, with a much softer tone this time, added with, “And tell me how much you’re worth having.” Another wave washes over you, granting his wish. Your chest heaves up and down in an attempt to fully gain your normal breathing pattern back. Your writhing body sends a shock of pleasure straight to his groin, and the need to cum is slowly advancing.

You cling onto Namjoon, and slip “I- am worth it. I-I’m worth having,” It’s as if your simple doing of following his command pushes him over the edge. But your added comment fuels him on even more.

“Cum inside of me, please. Make me full of your children.” With that, Namjoon shudders above you. His member pulses inside of you, streams of his cum color your insides. His lavender-stained strands glue themselves to his forehead, and it isn’t until now that you realize how wet your skin is, courtesy of the leather material below you.

Within the silence that subsides afterwards, aside from the melody of the both of you panting, Namjoon breaks the ice.

“You’re more than enough.”

#bts smut #namjoon smut #hyunglinenetwork #btsguild #btsgoldnet #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #houseofddaeng #btswritingcafe #mikrogalaxynet #ficswithluv #kim namjoon #jeon jungkook

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chuckbass-love · 4 years

Note

Hey! Chris x reader slow burn? I don’t have a clear idea but.. just slow burn, OMG.

I’ve not done much slow burn. I mean my Andy series was kinda, my Ransom fic was and my new ransom series has been kinda. But yeah i love this. Slow burn is some of my fave stuff to read.

Reader is going to be a singer/actress in this!

I hope you love this as i’m feeling very insecure about it. Let me know, feedback is always welcome.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Slow burn, fluff and smut...MAYBE 😉

Word Count: 5,694

Summary: You and Chris are about to become co-stars in a new movie. You meet him when you attend the Oscars and from the second your eyes meet, a crush develops on both parts. But it’s not as easy to admit your feelings.

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @itsagentromanoff go check them out ❤️

Worth The Wait

As an actor, Chris Evans is used to women fawning over him and pretty much throwing themselves his way. He’s got the ladies right where he wants them. He’s no heartbreaker, not intentionally anyway but he has been around the block a couple times.

When it comes to you on the other hand, your the polar opposite. You’ve only had one serious relationship. Sure guys ask you out or slide into your DM’s but you pay them no mind. You prefer to focus on your career.

You’re currently on track to release some new music. You’re also preparing to start shooting scenes for a new movie in the next couple of months. A romance movie. As soon as you got the part you found out about who would be your love interest. It’s Chris Evans.

As an actress and a woman in the industry, you obviously know who he is, you don’t live under a rock. He’s been in lots of movies that you’ve seen. He’s also very handsome, you can’t deny that. But you won’t be the one to fall at his feet. That isn’t your style. You prefer the subtle approach.

Tonight is the first time that you’re attending the Oscars and to say that you’re nervous would be the understatement of the century. It’s a day in the hairdressers chair with a makeup artist in the afternoon and a nail tech too. Your dress is at your house, hung up on the rack ready to put on last minute.

“So what are we going for today?” your hairdresser asks, you show her some images and she gets to work on what you requested. It has to be perfect. You have to make a good impression.

-----------------

4:30pm

Makeup done, nails done, hair done. Time for the finishing touch, your dress.

Your car pulls up to your house, ready to take you there, the nerves are flooding your body but you have your best guy friend with you, Jason. He’s your date tonight.

“Calm yourself, you’ll be fine” he’s always reassuring you whenever your anxiety hits full force.

“I just don’t know what to expect” he rests his hands over yours before handing you a glass of champagne.

“Get this down you, it’ll help” you can’t help but giggle, taking the glass and drinking all of the contents in it.

Whether you’re ready or not for the red carpet, you’re here. No turning back.

As you step out, your friend helps you. You’re wearing a full length red dress with black heels. You’re bombarded with flashes and shouting. Photographers calling for you to look their way.

You walk onto the carpet, posing with your friend when you stop for the cameras. He wraps his arm around you and you smile as he whispers in your ear about all the camera men getting excited thinking that you two are a couple. He already knows the questions that you’re going to be asked.

‘Is he your boyfriend?’

‘How long have you been together?’

You have the perfect response ready if that happens. He steps out of your way briefly so you can get some solo pics taken, this isn’t actually that bad. Posing for the cameras that is. It’s quite annoying with everyone shouting at you to look at them but aside from that, you’re enjoying it.

As you walk further up the carpet you hear everyone screaming “CHRIS OVER HERE”

It’s Chris Evans. The leading man for your new movie. He looks good. More than good. He’s hot. But you won’t let that show.

Chris pulls Scott back to him when they finish taking solo pictures. Ready to take more with them two together. Scott starts laughing at something the photographers say before noticing Chris not paying attention.

“Earth to Chris” he snaps his fingers in his face, following his eye line, that’s when he discovers what’s got his brother so distracted, or should he say who.

You’re stood there, laughing your head off with a guy, your smile is the type of smile that has everyone around smiling along with you.

It’s infectious, just like your laugh. You look absolutely gorgeous.

He knows exactly who you are, he’s heard your music and the movies you’ve done. He also knows that you’re playing his love interest for his new upcoming movie. Now he’s seen you in person he can tell he’ll have no trouble with intimate scenes.

He watches you until he feels Scott tugging at his arm and just before he looks away, you look up, your eyes meet. For a split second.

And in that second, he feels something. A crush developing. It sounds crazy, he doesn’t even know you but he feels some type of way.

Your eyes meet his blue ones, only for a second but it has your heart beating fast. He really is beautiful. You’re looking forward to working with him.

All of the celebrities make their way into the building ready for the event to start, you’re guided to your table.

You’re sitting with the man himself. It’s like there’s a god up there plotting all of this, forcing you together. You can’t complain though.

“So, you’re Y/N then?” he pipes up, rubbing his hands together before lifting a glass to his pink lips, they look so soft. You wonder what it would be like to kiss them. But remember, you need to keep it subtle.

“Yeah, i heard i’ll be working with you soon” he nods his head “Indeed, i look forward to it” Scott and your date look back and forth between the two of you, the chemistry is painfully obvious between you and Chris.

---------------

Since both of your plus ones have left to go to the toilet, he moves over to sit next to you. Not caring about how it looks to everyone around.

“How long have you and Jason been together?” you can’t help but giggle, you knew people would assume things.

“He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my best friend. I’m single by the way if that’s what you were trying to find out” he sighs at his failed attempt.

He can’t believe that you just sassed him. It makes him like you more. He’s intrigued, he wants to find out more. Whether that’s going to be possible in this setting is the one question on his mind. That and the question of asking you for your number before the others come back.

“Listen, i don’t usually do this but since we’re going to be working together anyways. I just wondered if maybe i could get your number. We can try and find time to hang out, get to know each other a bit better before shooting starts” you bite back the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth, giving him your best poker face.

“I mean, i suppose that could be handy. Sure” your voice normal, your facial expressions are dead serious as you type your number into his iPhone.

He grins as he moves back to his seat and minutes later Scott and Jason return. They both take their seats and the show resumes. Cameras are rolling so you try your best to look good in case you’re caught in the footage, checking yourself out in your pocket mirror quickly.

This night is going really well so far.

You like Chris of course you do, he’s handsome, charming and polite. But as much as you’re looking forward to kissing him and getting close you have to admit that he’s not your usual type. You also have your reservations about ever going there with him if he tried it.

You don’t date co stars, not whilst you’re filming with them anyways. It’s unprofessional, a rule you’ve not broken so far but will he make it difficult for you? That’s another thing entirely.

--------------------

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and you’re chilling at home today. Shooting for your movie starts next weekend and you’re taking all the time you can to work on some new music and take some much needed pamper time.

You sit there in your studio, writing lyrics and figuring out a beat when you hear your phone ringing. There’s a huge pile of sheet music in the way, you start moving it to find your phone sat there. Chris’s name on the screen.

“Hello” you greet

“Well hello to you too, someone sounds very happy to hear from me” he chuckles, making your heart flutter.

“Oh, can’t you tell, i’m jumping up and down from all the excitement” he can’t hold back his laughter, trying to stop it so he can actually speak.

“What are you up to today?”

“Currently, i’m song writing. Yourself?” he hums in response “not a lot, i was wondering if you wanted to try and hang out? Get to know each other, shooting starts next weekend and i barely know who i’m going to be kissing” he’s cheeky and very flirtatious, you gotta give him his props. He knows how to woo the ladies. But you’re not buying any of this. He probably does this with all of this leading ladies.

As much as you want to swoon and give in, you have to stay professional and protect your heart. He’s dangerously handsome, the dream personality that every girl wants a guy to have. He’s perfect but you could get hurt if you step over that line.

You decline his invite, making an excuse about getting this song done. He sounds quite sad as he hears your rejection.

“Well, i guess i’ll leave you to it then. Maybe we can do it another time” you agree, hanging up the phone.

You feel silly for declining his invite. But you have stuff to do, you also know that if you start hanging out, you’ll catch feelings.

Little do you know, catching feelings for one Chris Evans is inevitable. It’ll sneak up on you.

-------------

“Chris and Y/N to set please” the director shouts, summoning the two of you. It’s your first scene with him. He spots you and smiles as you get closer.

“Oh if it isn’t miss unavailable” he mocks, you shove him playfully “Or maybe i was just trying to shake you off” he rolls his eyes. You both check over the script before the cameras start rolling.

Your character is sat in a cafe when his character strolls in with his friends. He looks around when his eyes fall on you. You’re sat there reading a book, sipping at your coffee when you hear them all making a bunch of loud noises.

You look up and your eyes meet and in this moment, it doesn’t even feel like acting. It feels real.

“You guys go ahead, i’ll catch up” he practically rushes his friends out of the door before sitting across from you.

“Wait, people actually read nowadays?” you scoff at his attempt to be funny, finishing up your drink and packing your stuff away.

Just like in real life, he can’t catch a break with you. You aren’t giving him the time of day.

“I didn’t mean to offend you” you roll your eyes, turning back to him.

“If you think some comment about books is going to offend me then let me just say that you’ll have to work a lot harder” you storm out of the building, away from him.

The director yells cut. You head over to him for some feedback. He seems very happy with how the scene worked out. He gives a couple of tips for the next scene. He wants your character to bump into Chris’s character at work, leading him to mock you and get cocky about you stalking him.

You take a couple of sips from your water bottle before continuing. Shooting the next scenes. He keeps messing up, causing you to be there longer. Shooting the same one over and over. Next take he gets it, you don’t mess up once. You feel quite smug about it. He’s the professional, you’re the amateur and he’s the one messing up his lines. How ironic.

It’s time for a break, you head back to your trailer, sitting down and flicking through your phone. You hear a knock on your door. “Come in” you call out, he enters.

“Following me around i see” you giggle

“Nice sarcasm. Very funny. Have i done something wrong?” you furrow your brows in confusion.

“No, why?” maybe your stand offish attitude and poker face expression has clearly been too good.

“You just seem really off with me. Rejecting any invitation i made to hang out last week. Rushing off set when they called for a break. Seems like you don’t want to be around me” you shrug him off.

“There’s no issue, i didn’t mean to give that impression. It might just be my nerves. I’m sorry” you feel awful. You never intended to take your professionalism too far. Clearly you’ve come across as a stuck up bitch. Like you’re too good for him, that’s not the case.

“It’s cool. Look if it helps with the nerves, i was the same when it came to Captain America. I almost turned the role down and missed out on it because of my anxiety. But you just gotta take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re here because you’re talented and clearly the best woman for the role”

You feel taken back by him. He’s really down to earth. A quality you didn’t expect to be real in him. You’ve seen interviews and heard lovely things about him before but a lot of celebrities have a way of acting one way in public and another behind closed doors.

That very clearly isn’t the case for him. He’s real. Genuine and very soft in person.

The fact that he took the time to come and see if you were okay and to squash any tensions. He didn’t have to but he did. It’s nice and endearing to see.

“Thank you, honestly i appreciate it. I’m just a bit off my game. I’ve not done much in terms of movie roles and this is only my 3rd role so i’m trying to get better with nerves” he flashes you a reassuring smile before standing up.

“I’m going to get some snacks, you coming?” you throw your phone in your bag and head out with him, accepting his offer this time.

“So what music are you working on?” he asks, shoving some fruit into his mouth.

“Just music, i don’t want to give too much away and risk boring you with the details” he waves it off “you could never be boring” your cheeks heat up but you continue to eat to ignore it.

“Seriously, you can’t just sing me something?” he begs, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

“Guess you’ll have to wait for that Evans”

“What’s your deal anyways?” you ask as you finish up with your food and head back to set.

“What do you mean?” you shrug “your relationship status duh. I mean i think i’ve shared a lot with you today. It’s your turn” he nods “I’m single unfortunately. 39 and still single, quite pathetic i know” you stop walking, turning to him.

“Dude, snap. You’re not pathetic don’t worry. I feel the same occasionally being 28 and still single when all my friends have kids and are married but it happens. Love works in mysterious ways. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to”

It’s true. As much as you feel lonely, you know things will fall into place soon. So you try not to stress to much.

You get back to set and continue with filming. It’s gonna be a long day.

----------------

You make your way back to the trailer, preparing to get some sleep but you feel your phone buzz when you pull the covers over you.

‘I can’t sleep, fancy watching a movie?’

This screams trouble. You already spent some time with him off set today.

Fuck it.

‘Sure, come over?’

You don’t get a response but a knock at the door distracts you.

“You brought snacks” you chirp, spying the chocolate in his hands. He walks in, kicking his shoes off and making his way to the bedroom area.

“Someone’s making themselves at home” he grabs the remote, flicking through your Netflix that you set up on the tv.

“How about a horror” you suggest, he agrees and clicks on IT.

You both sit there, chatting whilst barely watching it.

He tells you about his dog Dodger, showing you pictures and videos of his cute pup.

“I just want to cuddle him, he’s the cutest” you coo as you urge for him to show you another. You move closer to him, a bit too close as you watch.

Once the video finishes you look at him, realising that your face is inches away from his. You instantly back away. Almost as if his presence gives you an electric shock.

“Longest relationship” way to change the subject.

“6 years” you respond, the memories of it all come back. He motions for you to elaborate.

“The relationship wasn’t all bad. It was good for the first year or two. Then it just got boring, we both stayed because we got comfortable. Relaxed. I guess It was easy to be with someone who despite me not loving him, we both knew one another inside out and there was no need to make too much effort. Eventually we both realised that it had to end. There was no hard feelings, we’re still friends. He’s married now with a son”

You feel a little sad that he managed to find his soul mate, his person. the woman he truly loves. And yet you’re stuck in this rut.

“How about you?” you change the subject before he can comment on how bothered you look.

“5 years, it wasn’t a bad break up either just didn’t work out i guess. It happens and now here i am. Single too. Just going about my life. Wondering if i’ll ever marry and have kids” he chuckles, you can see the embarrassment in his face. The way he’s looking down to avoid your eyes.

He feels a sense of sadness too. He wants a family, this isn’t new information. You’ve seen the interviews. He’s always said he wants a big family. But he’s still alone and no closer to achieving that.

The more you talk to him, the more you like him. He’s so genuine and sweet. He’s got a heart of gold, you can see it so easily. Not a bad or mean bone in his body.

Why on earth is he single?

He’s the dream boyfriend, the guy that pretty much most girls want. He’s sensitive, romantic and sexy.

This will forever be a mystery after tonight. You feel like you know each other inside and out now.

It’s nice.

As time ticks by, it’s getting later. It’s now midnight and you’re focusing on the movie, you turn to make a joke about one of the scenes but he’s fast asleep next to you. You throw some of the duvet over him before lying down yourself and turning the tv off.

---------------

The sunlight almost blinds you, forcing you awake. You desperately reach to shut the blinds but a voice stops you dead in your tracks.

“Wakey wakey” It’s Chris.

“We’re needed on set in half an hour. So get up sleepy head” he teases, throwing a pillow at you. You jump up out of bed, chasing him with said pillow. Ready to throw it back to him.

“Oh you are a grumpy one in the mornings. I shoulda known” you can’t even be mad, he’s so positive and smiley. You just toss the pillow to the ground and head to shower.

You step out to find him in the lounge area, coffee cups in his hands. He hands you one.

You check the time to see you have 15 minutes left to get ready. You waste no time in downing your coffee and rushing to change before heading out with him to hair and makeup.

The women both get to work on the two of you. Chris starts cracking jokes and playing music to lighten everyones mood. It works.

You only have two scenes today before you’re free to do whatever you want. Chris however has 4 scenes.

--------------

You finish the final one, you messed up a couple times but it’s all good. It was just a mixture of nerves and not remembering lines. You soon perfected it though.

A smell of bacon and fresh fruit fills your nose. Food time. You head into the kitchen to grab some and halfway through, Chris joins. He plonks himself down on the bench opposite you, a huge grin plastering his face.

“What do you want?” your voice laced with suspicion “nothing just wanted to eat my lunch with my new best friend” you giggle, stuffing pineapple in your mouth and starting a conversation with him about politics.

He’s really into his politics and you figured you should get into it too. You should really start paying attention and taking an interest in what’s happening around you.

He gets onto the topic of his new project A Starting Point. Telling you all about it and everything he has planned for it. It’s refreshing to hear. A guy that’s sexy, smart, sensitive and romantic. He really is the full package.

If Chris is being honest with himself, he has a huge urge to kiss you right now. The way you’re taking an interest in his new project, asking him questions and really making an effort. It’s a turn on for him for sure. A huge one. It’s obvious that he’s attracted to you, everyone can see it. Everyone but you that is.

You’re not showing any signs of reciprocating the same feelings or even that you’ve noticed how he feels. But that’s what makes him like you more. You’re so chill around him. You treat him like a normal person not a celebrity. You want to know normal things rather than about his career as an actor.

“I can’t believe you saw me in the morning, i must have looked rough” you laugh, covering your face with your hands.

“You could never look rough so shush. You looked cute” you feel your cheeks heat up at his compliment. You can’t help but feel shy.

He’s saying all the right things.

This crush is going to be the death of you.

----------

Filming has flown by. You’re on your last two days and you feel emotional. The only scenes that are left are the intimate ones. The sex scenes. It’s daunting to film but you have to face it head on.

Your crush on Chris and his crush on you has really developed. You’ve spent weeks flirting non stop but nothing much has come of it. Just that you’ve gotten closer. It’s friendship only as far as you both know. Neither one of you have admitted these secret feelings. Both of you unaware of the other feeling the same.

You walk onto set ready to face this scene head on. He flashes you a reassuring smile as you start the scene at the directors call.

“Can you ever forgive me”

“I don’t know”

“What if i was extra nice from now on”

He stalks closer to you, his hands snaking around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

He lowers his head down, kissing at your sweet spot, biting too. A soft moan escapes your lips and he stops. He lifts his head, his eyes meet yours and a smile grows on both of your faces.

The director yells cut and you both have a quick drink before resuming.

No direct kissing happens yet, just some teasing neck kisses and flirtatious comments.

Once the day draws to a close you head back to your trailer, not realising that Chris is hot on your heels.

You shut your trailer door but it opens again. He rushes in like there’s an emergency.

“You okay?”

“I’m good, i just wanted to talk to you about the scenes that we’re doing tomorrow”

You gesture for him to take a seat, you sit down beside him, letting him talk.

“They are quite intimate and raunchy should i say, i just want to make sure that you’re comfortable with doing that with me”

This is cute. He cares to check that you’re comfortable.

You reassure him that you are.

“Chris it’s fine. Thank you though, i appreciate this. But i’ll have no trouble doing those scenes with you” your eyes widen. Way to put your foot in it.

His eyes meet yours, a questioning look on his face but you find a way to change the subject.

You escaped that one by the skin of your teeth. He’s bound to bring it up again.

Hopefully he doesn’t.

-------------

Final day of filming has just begun. The scenes are seconds away from starting.

Your character and Chris’s character are sitting on a couch. The energy right now has your pussy quite literally throbbing. He smells so good and he looks even better.

“You know the effect you have on me right” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Why don’t you prove it”

He picks you up, pulling you onto him to straddle his lap. His hands rest on your waist before gliding to grip your ass.

Another moment where you don’t think this is going to be acting for you.

This is all you’ve wanted since you met the guy.

“You sure?” you nod your head in response to his question before he crashes his lips to yours. You can see fireworks.

It’s passionate, all consuming and he’s quite literally taking your breath away.

You continue to make out, moving positions so he’s standing up, carrying you. He leads you to the bed in the same room. As he lays you down, he breaks from the kiss, looking at you like he’s looking into your soul.

The director yells cut and you both pause to get feedback before continuing. The heat between the two of you is evidently clear. It’s not acting. It’s real. It’s like all of the flirting and sexual tension has built up and is finally coming out in this scene. At least the chemistry will be believable to the viewers.

Once you finish the scene. It’s a wrap.

You’re relieved. The last couple months has been pure torture. Acting with him. Fighting urges and temptations.

Everyone claps as you all hug.

You have one more night in the trailer before heading home tomorrow.

It’s not a boring night though, you’re too distracted over that kiss earlier to care about being in complete darkness.

You fall asleep shortly after, eager to get back to L.A.

------------

It’s home time and you bend down trying to shut your suitcase. A couple of groans and sex like sounds escape your mouth.

“Knock knock. Oh shit” he chuckles, stepping inside to find you bent over, packing.

You stand upright, turning immediately.

“Sorry did i interrupt something?” he holds his hands up “not at all. Just this suitcase testing my patience” he walks over kneeling down to help.

“Sit on it for me” he instructs, you listen, sitting down.

He starts pulling at the zip and it budges slightly but not properly. He pulls harder and as he’s leaning back he bumps into you, knocking you backwards and onto the floor. You burst into a fit of laughter. He kneels down next to you to help you.

You’re a ball on the floor, laughing and snorting as you try to get up, you fail and probably look ugly but to him you’re beautiful. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, bringing you back down to earth. You sit up and eventually zip your suitcase up.

You turn to walk away but he pulls you back to him.

Chest to chest. Eyes locked on his. His breath fans your face. He smells incredible.

“I um, should probably get going. My ride is here” you gulp. His hand rests on your waist before his grip loosens.

His time is up.

“If you ever want to hang out though, we don’t live far from each other. It won’t be hard to keep in touch” he starts but you finish it “sure, i’d like that” and with that, you leave him standing there alone.

----------

You’ve been back in L.A for a week now, still no text from him. It is what it is though, he doesn’t owe it to you.

The day goes quickly. You lounge around the house all day, bored with nothing to do. That’s when your phone buzzes.

‘Fancy hanging out? I’m going out of my mind here’

‘Sure’

He offers to pick you up, to hang out at his place. He can’t leave his dog alone. You give him your address and wait for him to arrive, setting your alarms and running out to meet him. He had a lot of security to get past just to get to your house. Luckily with him being famous too, he has the same precautions in place.

You get into the his car and head back to his place. The chat on the way is mostly about what you’ve both been up to and turns out you’re both massive introverts and have done sweet fuck all.

It doesn’t take long to reach his place. Just as he pulls into his garage he warns you about Dodger.

“Just so you know, he’ll be hyper. I’ve not had anyone over in a while. Especially a woman” you shake it off and the second you step foot into his house Dodger comes running, jumping up and tackling you until you fall to the floor.

You don’t care though, you love dogs. And Dodger is just the cutest ever.

He licks your face and you pet him, settling him.

“Dodge, come on boo boo” he whistles and the excited pup sits, wagging his tail.

“He’s all good don’t worry. I had dogs growing up. I’m used to it” he leads you to the kitchen, offering you a drink to which you decline.

You start wondering through his house, not realising that he’s following closely behind.

“You’ve got such a nice house you know”

“I tried with the decor but had to call Scott in for help”

“It’s nice th-”

“I’m sorry i can’t do this” he let’s out a deep breath.

“Do what?”

You get closer and he crashes his lips to yours.

You kiss him back, your arms wrapping around his neck loosely. His hands fall to your ass again.

His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, nudging you to part them and make way for him. You happily oblige. The kiss soon gets heated. He taps the back of your thighs. You jump and he starts walking, carrying you to what looks like his bedroom. He lays you down onto the bed.

You break away, panting.

“That was so worth the long wait. God i’ve wa-”

You pull him down by the collars of his shirt, connecting your lips back to his. His hands lift your shirt off before removing his own. Your hands fiddle with his belt buckle, rushing to get him naked. He spots your need, standing up to help you out.

As he does, you rid yourself of your clothes, laying there in nothing but your panties.

He looks down, examining you. In complete awe of the sight.

“Please” you beg, he slides your panties off.

He knows what you want, he doesn’t have to even guess.

This is just what you wanted. From day one.

All the sexual tension is coming out to play. He slides a condom down his hard length, sliding into you straight away.

Your pussy stretches around him, making room.

He’s the biggest you’ve ever had that’s for certain.

“Feel good?” he asks, you hum, wrapping your legs around him.

“You’re so tight baby” he grunts, picking his pace up slightly. You pull him down and kiss him before breaking away and propping yourself up on your elbows, watching as his cock disappears inside of you.

It feels so amazing. You don’t ever want it to end.

“God, just like that. Fuck” you bite at your bottom lip, your eyes locked on his as he fucks you. He kisses your leg as he holds them up.

Soon enough, as you’re getting used to the mind blowing pleasure, he switches things up.

He flips the two of you over so you’re straddling him.

You start bouncing up and down, grinding as he bottoms out. He pulls you down so he can take matters into his own hands.

His pace picks up again, getting quicker than before.

“Shit” you groan, head falling into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, cum for me” he encourages, whispering naughty things to you as he holds your body like it was made just for him.

“Oh god Chris” your pussy starts to throb, your walls flutter around him. You’re falling over that edge, that sweet release consuming you.

“Just like that baby. I’m right behind you” and with that. He twitches and groans. His mouth falls open as he reaches his.

He looks so sexy like this. You’re both naked and vulnerable.

This isn’t like any sex that you’ve had before. This was romantic and intimate. It was sexy and nasty too at some parts. It was perfect.

“You know, i’ve wanted to do that since that night at the Oscars” you chuckle, agreeing with him.

“Me too. I’m glad we didn’t though. Clearly all of that build up helped us act better” you both burst into laughter. You’re not wrong.

You don’t know where this leaves you but for now you just want to live in the moment.

-------------

General Tag List: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @princess-evans-addict @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics

Just Chris & His Characters Tag List: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

#chris evans #cevans #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #cevans x reader #fic #request #smut #fluff

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anghraine · 3 years

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@laufire tagged me in a fic meme!

The Game: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some authors!

1. Even in Gondor, Éowyn was cold.

Tolkien, WIP: an AU take on the Éowyn/Faramir hair mingling scene with f!Faramir/Fíriel. I’ll probably fold it into daughters of the great at some point, but haven’t yet.

2. Elrond did not call the Council.

Tolkien, WIP: a (new) AU where Faramir is the one sent to Rivendell. I’m not writing it in a long fic sense, but I do have some snippets.

3. Gwen did not often dwell on life before the Searing.

Guild Wars, WIP: a canon-compliant one-shot focused on Gwen Thackeray’s last day before the Searing, ft. the GW: Prophecies PC (here, Irene Fairchild).

4. At least, Lady Georgiana thought, Darcy had the mettle to write to her of his engagement himself.

Austen, WIP: a canon-compliant fic dealing with the responses of Darcy’s canon and headcanon relatives to his engagement/marriage. This first bit is posted here.

5. The Steward was fortunate in his children.

Tolkien, WIP: an AU take on Denethor and Faramir’s relationship, with f!Faramir. Another piece of the Fírielverse.

6. Faramir was born under the Shadow, son of a weary father and wearier mother.

Tolkien, WIP: a canon-compliant take on Faramir’s childhood and his first dream of Númenor.

7. My dear Edith,

I hope you and your brother are well.

Guild Wars, complete: a canon-compliant epistolary take on the GW: Prophecies’s PC’s last day before the Searing. Here.

8. Eldarion had no queen.

Tolkien, complete: a canon-compliant fic where Eldarion has an arranged but happy marriage to Faramir and Éowyn’s younger daughter + lifespan angst. Here.

9. “Is there no deed to do?”

Tolkien, WIP: the opening to we also are daughters of the great, a Fírielverse fic with Éowyn and Fíriel first getting to know each other. I wrote and posted the first part a longggg time ago; the newest section begins with:

Fíriel was easy to talk to, Merry found.

10. “But Lizzy, you can tell us whether it is like or not.”

Austen, WIP: the opening to tolerably well acquainted, a fic that was originally tracking the development of Elizabeth’s feelings for Darcy at Pemberley, and then kept going. The current chapter’s draft begins:

By the time that Elizabeth reached the signature, she could nearly have crumpled the letter in her hand.

11. I always thought of myself as Ascalonian first, and Krytan second.

Guild Wars, WIP: a slight AU of GW2 from the POV of the human noble origin PC w/ missing sister storyline, where making the PC/her sister proud Ascalonians has a significant impact on them and their choices. I’ve been poking at the fic, pro patria, for years, but the current section begins:

I’d opened my mouth to ask something else, but Frazarblade suddenly interrupted me, slightly raising her voice.

12. If Darth Vader did not avoid the sight of his daughter in carbonite, he certainly did not seek it out.

Star Wars, WIP: the third part in an AU-of-the-OT f!Luke series. This part, The Jedi and the Sith Lord, follows Lucy and Vader after she’s captured by the latter in Cloud City (for AU reasons I won’t get into here). Like the last few, I started this a long time ago, so the beginning of the new section is:

Anakin didn’t hesitate.

13. In the first few years after his escape from Yakone, Noatak drifted: from place to place, from name to name.

Avatar, WIP: from One More Tomorrow, an Amon-centric f!Tarrlok fic (...I do understand that this is a) very predictable for me to write and b) of very limited interest to other people). It’s actually part of a longer series, though not nearly as lengthy or the f!Luke one or as involved as the f!Faramir one. The new section begins:

Amon had already stopped walking.

14. Boromir and Fíriel could both command man and beast alike.

Tolkien, complete: a short Fírielverse fic about Fíriel grieving Boromir/meeting Pippin. Here.

15. In her heart, perhaps, Fíriel knew what must happen.

Tolkien, WIP: a Fírielverse fic about Fíriel after the destruction of the Ring and Denethor’s death in battle, deciding what to do about Aragorn’s claim in the midst of grief for her father and uncertainty about her future. Here.

16. When Leia told them the truth, Jyn and Cassian said nothing.

Star Wars, complete: a Leia/Jyn/Cassian fic set after Leia finds out that Vader is her natural father. Here.

17. They escaped the way they arrived.

Star Wars, complete: AU Jyn/Cassian fic where the main cast of Rogue One makes it out of Scarif alive, and it turns out everyone has assumed Jyn and Cassian were in a relationship. Bonus grey-ace!Cassian and autistic!Jyn. Here.

18. Jyn never forgot the moment when her mother’s body slumped to the ground.

Star Wars, WIP: AU Jyn/Cassian fic where Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi make it off Scarif together, only to get sucked into the Death Star and forced to pass themselves off as Imperials without getting caught. Another one that I started a pretty long while ago; the most recent part of it begins:

As Jyn made her way back to the hold, she caught the murmur of voices.

19. Augustus Jones was a gentleman.

Austen, WIP: an AU where Wickham gets murdered after the Netherfield Ball and the cast of P&P are suspects. Darcy/Elizabeth, of course.

20. Jyn imagined herself with Princess Leia, sometimes.

Star Wars, WIP: a Leia/Jyn/Cassian Everyone Lives AU where Jyn struggles with being into Leia and Cassian at the same time.

I think that’s about the right fics, anyway! Basically: now and then I jump straight into the story, but most often, I begin with a statement that’s kind of ??? in terms of where the story is going, but then ‘zooms in’ to provide some context/background/revelation of what’s going on before we head into the story proper. I think of it as orienting the reader, basically, and I’m usually a bit ????? unless I can think of a way to do it. I didn’t include my original stuff on this list, but I generally do the same thing there.

My fave of these is probably:

In the first few years after his escape from Yakone, Noatak drifted: from place to place, from name to name.

It does the thing where it starts from this kind of distant perspective in order to narrow in later, but I think it does a much better job than usual of giving an idea of the story’s focus, and I like the phrasing.

tagging, if you want to do it ... umm, I’m not sure who has this quantity of fic, but: @ncfan-1, @ladytharen, @kazaera, @brynnmclean, @irresistible-revolution, @steinbecks

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someillplanetreigns · 4 years

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As is my annual tradition, I managed to miss Fic Authors Appreciation Day. But I’ve seen some lovely posts going around and wanted to make one too, albeit belatedly...

@freudensteins-monster was my introduction to a myriad of different ways of thinking about Sigyn as a possible character in the MCU, and really set the idea of it being creative and exciting to play around with possible interpretations (when your mythological fave is free real estate oh my heart), which was what got me on a big writing kick myself, so thank you so much for that <3 and your talent for coming up with incredible AU ideas will always blow my mind

@nildespirandum is just amazing - go check out her masterlist to see what takes your eye, because there is a lot there across different fandoms, but I want to give a special mention to At Hel’s Edge, which works with the Norse and Marvel canons in ways I am totally in awe of. The Viking world, complete with its very real and very violent gods, becomes a part of Marvel’s multiverse; the Thor and Loki we know from the MCU who live in this universe are echoes of, but significantly are not, the gods themselves. Also Sigyn. This is going to be a webcomic soon (which I’m so excited for!) so you should definitely do what I have done and download the story on Ao3 to keep for yourself always (link here!)

@nyebevans writes brilliant things in a lot of different fandoms and has some more very exciting stuff coming I am told, so keep your eyes peeled! Thank you for listening to me rant about fandoms you are not in, and forgiving my a) enthusiastic confusion about fandoms you are in and b) my enabling of AUs (of fandoms I am also not in). You are so awe-inspiringly talented sometimes my mouth dries up okay, and also I love you very much

@myoxisbroken @sheliesshattered @palavapeite @just-the-hiddles @dianamolloy @just-the-hiddles @redfoxwritesstuff @winterisakiller - I know our overlap of actual writing is narrow, but I look to you all as invaluable sources of writing advice, and what I have read of your writing is beyond brilliant

On a final and left-field note, if anyone’s interested, I thought I would say here that I got into Sigyn as a character entirely inadvertently after reading this series by Fialleril on Ao3. (Seriously, I googled Sigyn after going down a wiki rabbit hole, these popped up, I read them and I fell in love. And this was right around the time Film4 showed Thor [I’d not seen any MCU movies except Guardians of the Galaxy] and suddenly wow, here we are). I haven’t read them in several years but I am about to do that now, feel free to join me if that sounds up your street!

Big appreciation to all fic writers (and artists, and readers!) you are so amazing please keep doing what you’re doing <3

#fic authors appreciation day #wow talented friends #fic rec

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spnfanficpond · 4 years

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May 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE MAY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @focusonspn

A Night on the Town (oneshot) by @supernatural-jackles

I completely love this fic!! Jensen is a total sweetheart, it’s really easy to read and all those words felt like only five minutes. This is everything a Jensen!girl could’ve asked for!!

Hunger (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

HOLY. MOTHER. OF. HOTNESS. It was a fucking pleasure for my eyes to read every single word of this fic!! hot as hell, dark, Demon!Dean and in character as always.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Handkerchief (oneshot) by @babypieandwhiskey

I don’t usually read RPF, but this is an AU, so I dove in. Mechanic!Jensen with a magical supply of handkerchiefs, ready and willing to clean up whatever mess I find myself in? SOLD. Sweet, appeals to my love of Jensen’s back-pocket bandannas, and it activates my competence kink! Excuse me while I go wibble in the corner.

Nominated by @supernatural-jackles

Still The One (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

I have a lot of respect for the way Michelle writes such difficult topics. She approaches them with such grace and accuracy, that makes it all the more realistic. This series is no exception. I deeply enjoy this series and the way things are playing out between Dean and the reader. It’s an extremely heartbreaking story that most of us don’t really think about until it’s put into this kind of perspective. This one is still ongoing, and I’m extremely excited to see how she handles the rest of the story. I highly recommend checking this one out. Just heed the warnings beforehand.

Nominated by @peridottea91

Healthy Competition (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

This! Omg this series! I love it so much!! It’s slower moving but keeps you itching for the next chapter and is oh so relatable. What woman hasn’t had body image issues? And what plus sized woman hasn’t had to deal with rude jerks and bullying? This fic is actually super realistic and hits all those relatable issues. Can’t wait to read the rest!!

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

Ok, let me start by saying that I am a sucker for a good “character transported to alt. universe/world” fic. That said, I got soooooooooo addicted to this fic! It was so well written and you could just feel the reader’s hesitation and torn emotions. Should she stay? Should go? Ugh! Fantastic!! Also, kudos for the Norse mythology!! *chef’s kiss*

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

Cotton Candy (oneshot) by @ellewritesfix05

“It was always nice knowing [...] you could always find ways to bring light into Dean’s life.”

And he damn well deserves it! This was so sweet. No one can resist that “I didn’t do it” smile of his ;)

The Oath (Series) by @thecleverdame

This series is definitely dark, but it’s so so good. If you’re okay with reading about the heavy subjects covered in these chapters, you won’t regret giving this series a try. I can’t seem to stop diving into all of this author’s content. She’s just too good.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89

I’ve been excited about this impressive project since I first saw the announcement post. Though I’m ashamed to say I haven’t gotten into reading the full thing yet, I plan on making time for reading ALL the different endings. I’m excited to see the different ways in which the story plays out, depending on the brothers’ personalities. For now, I’m recommending this first chapter, the starting point, which was already a beauty of its own. If you haven’t started yet yourself, prepare to be amazed.

Not Safe (Oneshot) by @torn-and-frayed

I love this. Spicy but sweet… Is that a cringy enough way for me to try and put my thoughts into words? I also just really miss Bobby, man.

nominated by @impala-dreamer

Safe Here (series) by @because-imma-lady-assface

This is one of the greatest Dean series. Ashley writes Dean amazingly well, too well sometimes, and this series gives him exactly what he needs; a place to feel safe and find comfort. I love this one so much!

Losing You (series) by @idreamofhazel

This is a superbly done Sam series that has stuck with me for a long time. I literally can’t go into Bed, Bath & Beyond without thinking about the ending <3

nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Blind Luck (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

A great Sam x reader that hits the holy trifecta of smut, fluff, and angst.

Blood And Water (series) by @crashdevlin

Pretty sure I’ve recc’d this before but it’s such a good series, so twisted and angsty, my dark little heart loves it. Heed the warnings!

Just Sam (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea but for me, it’s perfection, because I am a kinky bitch and any other kinky bitches out there would definitely enjoy this XD

nominated by @deanwanddamons

Private Party With A Rockstar (oneshot) by @mummybear

@mummybear Has been working her butt off this month for her RolePlay May. She wrote this story for me and put me in it (my name is Sian). Rockstar!Jensen is one of my weakness’s, and she knows that, and clearly knows me very well too, as included everything I like 😉

She’s Not You by @winchest09

@winchest09 is one of my fave authors. This is a super cute, super fluffy fic which really cheered me up.

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

I LOVED this series. it was so good and lots of fun with some very sexy going’s on. Rhi’s work is just fantastic 💕

Wedding Bells (oneshot) by @katehuntington

This one shot is super cute and fluffy! I love her writing so much and this is not exception 💕

Not Much Left (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Demon!Dean is another of my weakness’s and fic really hit the spot 🥵🔥

Dear Dean (series) by @smol-and-grumpy

This series made me laugh, made me cry, made me horny and made me gasp. One of the best series I have read 💕

nominated by @emilyshurley

Jensen’s Self Care Routine (oneshot) - @luci-in-trenchcoats

It is just adorable. People taking care of themselves for their loved ones. You can’t get more fluffy.

The Proposal (series) - @katymacsupernatural (Ongoing)

If you love fake dating fics, you’ll definitely love this one. Really like the character of “the reader”.

Private Party with a Rockstar (oneshot) - @mummybear

This one is both hot and adorable at the same time

You shook me (oneshot) @myinconnelly1

It’s Myin writing Demon!Dean what more do you want? No seriously that’s the perfect combination

Dancing the Spiral (oneshot) by @myinconnelly1

One of the only times I genuinely felt like a fic was creepy in a good way. And the passing of the whole thing is great. Am I little biased because its Myin, yes but that doesn’t make the fic any less good. sure it’s on the longer side but definitely worth it.

The only exception (series) - @ne-gans and @negans-lucille-tblr

I have only read the first part so far but I had to mention it. It is a serial killer AU so read the trigger warnings just in case.

Make it Big (series)- @negans-lucille-tblr

Again I’m still catching up It’s one of those fics I thought I won’t like reading but was really glad that I started.

Cast no Shadow (series) @kittenofdoomage

It’s Rhi, I can fangirl a lot about her fics. Really enjoyed (?) (that might not be the right word) the whole fitting a new relationship in existing ones. Felt to real in a weird way. It might seem like I don’t like the fic because of how I’m wording this but that’s really not the case.

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch

Sunshine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

If you like angst, this is the fic for you. It is utterly captivating and heart wrenching. It’s a cut your heart out with a dull centuries-old wooden spoon style hurt. The use of the song lines in this fic is well thought out and poetic. Make sure to have a box of tissues handy. If you don’t at least tear up while reading this, then you don’t have a heart to cut out, and your soul is already in hell.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89

A clever interactive series where you get to choose your favorite Winchester, and the ending of the story. This is so detailed and intriguing. I loved the story I ended up with the first time, and excitedly went back in to pick the other options. Each story was unique and well written.

Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (oneshot) by @waywardbaby

This one shot is an absolutely stunning piece of smut. The lack of dialogue makes it that much better. All you’re left with is the option to feel the detailed emotions—sexual tension to the max.

No Words (oneshot) by @because-imma-lady-assface

Beautiful, detailed, and heartbreaking. Dean’s pain and need for comfort are palpable, and I cried while reading it. I can’t find the proper words to describe how this fic made me feel, but man did it ever make me feel.

Sky Full of Stars (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy

This is the sequel to Something Just Like This and is just as exciting as the first series. A roller coaster of suspense. The characters continue on their journey of love, dealing with the good and bad that comes with every relationship—the perfect combination of angst and fluff with a healthy dose of smut.

Something Just Like This (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy

A perfect combination of big badass Dean and soft, fluffy Dean, along with all the incredible smut your little heart could desire. I usually don’t like to read a series until it is complete, because I am impatient and don’t want to wait for the next chapter to post. However, this story was intriguing and sexy, and I couldn’t keep from reading each chapter as soon as it posted and then eagerly anticipating the next.

Nominated by anon

Request 42 (oneshot) by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

This was super-duper cute!! I love frustrated soon to be parents especially when one of those parents is Dean! Great work, well worth the read!

Just A Daydream (onesho) by @maddiepants

This fic is refreshing with its canon-ness! I love Sam's little dream, and you get so wrapped up in it, you forget. Absolutely masterful and HOT AS HELL! Also, Tall People, WTF?

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

#afa masterlist #afas #angel fish awards #spn fic rec #spn fanfic

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ks-caster · 4 years

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It’s Like Watching Fanfiction – An (Un)Necessarily Long Critique of The 100 Seasons 6 and 7

Ah, the familiar cry of the content-starved fan, particularly as our favorite shows descend into the depths of mischaracterization, unexpected ships, hiatus, abrupt cancellation and shock-value death endings. I’ve said it myself about so many of my shows, while wanting to spend some time watching the characters but not wanting to re-hash episodes I’ve nearly memorized: “I wish I could just watch fanfiction!”

But the further into seasons 6 and 7 I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to realize that my dream of having new and exciting possibilities for the characters come miraculously to a screen near me wouldn’t be the pleasant experience I’d imagined.

Now, depending on the type of ending you like – hopeful but with a lot of lose ends left to your imagination, or bittersweet but more definite, you could consider either seasons 1-4 or 1-5 their own complete stories.

Both seasons 4 and 5 ended in a way that suggested an unknown but likely positive future. They could have been considered conclusions for the main characters’ developmental arcs, and while season 5 went a little off the rails in terms of offscreen character development and sudden new characters, they both stayed fairly close to the original concept: survivors living in the ruins of the apocalypse. All four (or five) seasons emphasized the importance of the found family dynamic (although those dynamics shifted radically in season 5 due to the time-skip, they remained an important source of character motivation).

But seasons 6 and 7? Those feel like I’m watching fanfiction. And I don’t love it.

A story told on a whole new planet with a new environment, culture and cast of original characters was always going to feel like an AU – it sort of is, no matter how you swing it. If that was all that had changed, then I think the story would still feel cohesive.

If it weren’t for the timey whimey bullshit.

Now, fun fact: when reading fanfiction, I love time travel stories. I haven’t posted any myself but I’ve sought out and read them voraciously, for every fandom I’m in. I love the idea of characters meeting themselves or their friends at radically different ages, plot points and levels of experience and the way that changes things for both groups. (Yes, I’m also a Whovian if that wasn’t blatantly obvious). I also love a good amnesia arc. And I DID think that the Josephine/Clarke body possession thing was pretty cool.

So why did season 6 and most* of season 7 fall as flat for me as they did?

The simple fact is that some things – and characters’ emotional dynamics are one of those things – are so much easier to get across in writing than on screen. A good actor can make us feel the character’s emotions, but unless the film goes full-on Clarke’s mind space, we can’t really know what they’re thinking in individual moments. For the most part film as a genre has ways around this, but if it’s mishandled, then the emotional beats come off all wrong. (See for reference Tony Stark’s funeral where half the actors didn’t know what was going on due to Disney’s spoiler fears.)

If you’re going to include time skips in which things have happened and character dynamics have changed, you cannot handle it wrong.

Which brings us back to seasons 6 and (so far) 7 of The 100. So far to date we’ve had all of this occur either offscreen or asynchronously enough to be confusing to an audience watching the episodes in real time:

Jordan’s entire life prior to meeting Napkru in the waking world

Octavia’s character development while living on Skyring with the Diyozas

Hope’s first 22 years of life, on Skyring and (I presume) Bardo

Echo, Hope and Gabriel living on Skyring for 5 years with Orlando

Going back a little further, we also have the season 5 timeskip, which brought us Spacekru as found family, Clarke adopting tiny!heda, and Octavia building Wonkru. Now season 5 took care to show us Wonkru flashbacks and dedicate time to show Spacekru and the Griffin family loving on each other, making inside jokes etc. But it was still incredibly jarring for the audience in a lot of ways, because at the end of the day, we’ve spent four years with the character dynamics and development doing one thing, and no amount of telling us that they’ve had 6 years to do another thing while our time with them only lasted about one year in comparison is ever going to undo the importance of “show don’t tell.”

Let’s take Bellarkers’ beef with Becho for example. (Disclaimer: Since I don’t really have a strong opinion either way on the popular Bellamy ships, I hope that I’m representing what I’ve read from other people accurately.)

I understand cognitively that Bellamy and Clarke knew each other for one year (during which they were in a lot of intense situations that really didn’t leave them the emotional space to figure out how they felt about each other outside of “I don’t want to lose this person”) and Bellamy and Echo knew each other for seven years (six of which they had plenty of low-stress time to get to know each other, grow and mature side-by-side, etc.).

But that doesn’t compute on an emotional level when I as a watcher went straight from watching Bellamy and Raven tearfully eulogizing Clarke on the ring, to him turning up with a coffee mug and a plucky attitude to rescue her the second he finds out she’s alive and in trouble. I don’t think that could compute emotionally for me without having spent the last few years watching the dynamics shift and Becho happen. And that was with the writers giving me as a watcher an episode at the end of season 4 where Bellamy stops Echo from killing herself and connects with her on an emotional level, and then one at the beginning of season 5 where we got to see the spacekru dynamics, including them being together.

So we’re watching this show, many of us for the found family character relationships (god knows it’s not for all the positive happy feeling I get from watching *checks notes* ah, yes, characters having to constantly choose who to kill off in a string of increasingly huge and horrible genocides. *Side-eyes my life choices for getting into this fandom in the first place.*) Okay, we’re watching this show for the characters, and between seasons 4 and 5, many of those dynamics radically shift offscreen. Becho is the easiest and probably most talked-about example (well, and the Blake siblings, but the radical change shown in Octavia’s character between 4 and 5 makes that at least a little easier to choke down) but there are plenty of others, take your pick.

Although it makes perfect sense for a lot to change between separated groups of people in a half dozen years, it makes a lot less sense to an audience watching week to week, particularly when the show’s limited amount of screen time was too focused on plot to really delve into those changes and let us see and understand them. That was what made me think that the show was headed into jump the shark territory in season 5, but I really wanted to know what happened to my faves (Octavia, Raven and Memori, to be specific) so I kept watching.

Our fandom’s excellent writers spent the hiatus crafting mid-time-skip vignettes and missing character moments, and I spent the hiatus reading them. And I remember thinking that it would have been great if even a quarter of this content could have been put into the show to ease the audience into the dynamic shifts – but of course they’d never have the screen time to do all of that.

Especially, coming back to the main point, since written fiction allows the audience to see inside the characters’ heads, while television (usually) does not. It’s much easier to write a scene in which, say, two characters who have known each other for 7 years show that they’ve gotten into a relationship some time before the scene, and convince the audience that their relationship is good and healthy and genuine, than it would be to produce one for TV.

And then we come to seasons 6 and 7 – the 2-part AU longfic, stuffed full of OCs, loosely connected to the “science” of the original show, and heavily reliant on memory-bending time travel as a plot device.

As season 6 airs, the audience hasn’t really had a chance to process all the radical changes from season 5, and already we have a Marper child running around furthering the plot, and Octavia walks into the Green Flash from Pirates of the Caribbean and walks back out with a personality transplant.

Meanwhile, Clarke gets an actual personality transplant, and it takes even the people closest to her a concerningly long time to notice. Now, if I’d read that in a fic, the writer might’ve taken care to remind me as a reader – particularly after a long hiatus between seasons – that with the exception of Madi none of Clarke’s friends have seen her for more than a couple of weeks in 6 years, so them not noticing for a while that she’s behaving strangely isn’t really all that strange. But on TV, I don’t get to see Gaia’s thoughts when Clarke lets Madi go to school despite the danger – Tati Gabrielle’s facial expressions can only do so much to make up the difference. Because the time spent apart was not (and really could not be, based on the structure of the show) properly acknowledged on screen, scenes like that one leave audiences floundering and pointing out bad writing.

Having watched 7x02 The Garden, I think if I went back and watched season 6 after Octavia returns from the Anomaly, her conduct – especially around Bellamy – would make a lot more sense. (That was the plan for this weekend actually – but my damn Wi-Fi conked out…) However at the time it just seemed weird and unnatural. Had it been the only example of off-screen or asynchronous character development, it would have been a lot easier to swallow. However, season 5 happened, meaning both that I was still getting used to all of the new dynamics and that I had a higher standard for Octavia’s off-screen development, because we got enough bunker flashbacks that I felt like I at least understood Blodreina.

What would have made the whole thing make a lot more sense a year ago would have been if the hair and makeup department had made an effort to make her look older, so that we could see time had passed for her. Now, Marie is 33 in real life, and so was the Octavia who figured out that up is down and got Davy Jones Locker to send her back ran out of the Anomaly, so yes, that is what an actual 33-year-old looks like, and the media has distorted my perception of age. But from an audience perspective, I saw an actress playing a 23-year-old go in, and the same actress playing the same 23-year-old come out.

Gabriel pointed out that her hair was longer, but that only accounted for a few months of time. Since she went in looking dirty, wounded and exhausted, and came out clean, healthy and energetic, she could have passed for younger before I would have thought she was older. (In fact, I want to say there was a theory circulating at that time that the Octavia who came out of the Anomaly was actually a younger version of herself, and she was missing memories because she’d never formed them. I don’t remember whose theory this was though. If you know or if it’s your content I’m referencing please feel free to let me know and I’ll edit!)

In addition, the shifting loyalties in Wonkru near the end of season 5 complicated the character situation – in season 6, the majority of Wonkru peeps (lookin’ at you, Miller and Indra) switched over to the commander’s side. While Indra didn’t really have enough screen time to express an opinion about Octavia, Miller was very clear in season 6 that she was anathema now – which although that was probably a semi-reasonable step for his character, it just felt like someone took his Bellamy-and-or-Clarke-following season 1-4 character and popped it into his season 6 costume without taking the time to address the road he took to get there.

Post-lockerAnomaly Octavia had to face and slay her demons. (Grumbles and links the interested reader to this POST from @osleyakomwonkru regarding that horseshit.) Afterwards, she shows a major shift in personality, particularly towards her brother. Because we as the audience wouldn’t see her time on skyring for about year in real time (or learn that she was ten years older and therefore a lot more mature, the chemical changes of which would account for at least some of the difference even if she couldn’t remember anything else) we had no choice but to associate her change with the slaying of Blodreina, which seemed like a ham-fisted way of forcing her a quick and slick redemption arc and prepping The Blake Siblings to go back to being ride-or-die for each other in season 7.

Raven’s season 6 personality was also radically different from her 1-5 development – while I understand her having a remaining beef with Clarke and being emotional due to Shaw’s death (RIP!) the fact that the writing in season 6 reduced her to the nagging shrew trope until they needed her to do a coding deus ex machina just added to the feeling that I was watching someone take the characters around, change them to their own preferences (even if that preference was to push some into the background and make them tools for the B-plot) and toss them into an AU story. Which I could have enjoyed more if I had been reading it and therefore seeing inside the characters’ heads – and if I hadn’t paid for the privilege with ad revenue instead of voluntary clicks of the kudos/like/reblog/comment buttons.

Another issue with time skip relationship is exposition for the lesser known characters’ backstories. Both seasons 6 and 7 have so far had dramatic character mother death reveals that were conveniently not told to their most important people specifically because the appropriate time to tell those stories would have been during the offscreen time skips. I will (grudgingly) accept Echo, an adult making a conscious (and familiar) decision to change up her personality to fit into and survive within her environment, choosing not to tell a traumatic story that reminds her of her past. (She’s my next meta – stay tuned!)

I will not in a million years, however, believe that the Clarke Griffin who I watched for four seasons be set up as the blatantly obvious “compassionate mom-friend protagonist” adopted a traumatized 6-year-old, moved into said child’s village, burned or buried the bodies of everyone who lived there, and never ever brought up the child’s dead birth parents.

No way. The ONLY reason that could have possibly been scripted in that way was because that conversation needed to be there for plot reasons and the appropriate time for it to have been had was during the 6 years they spent off screen. Similarly, while (again) I’ll buy that Echo chose not to talk about her mom’s death with Bellamy before he decided to be a dick about it, I fully believe that the timing of that conversation was only there because if it had occurred on the ring where it would have been more appropriate, the audience would have missed it.

Now, picture this: if the scene with Madi had been in a written fanfic, Clarke could have said “you didn’t lose me,” Madi could have said “I didn’t mean you,” and Clarke could have remembered Madi telling her the story of her birth mom dying in her arms. Then Clarke could have mentally made the decision that she didn’t want Madi to relive that in an attempt to empathize with her, and she makes an effort to convince her that she’s fine. In just 2 or 3 paragraphs a written story could have effectively conveyed both the exposition and the emotional beats of the scene, concluding with Clarke making a (maybe misguided but still sweet) attempt to be a good mom by not dredging that up for Madi (or something – I’m not defending the crappy and inconsistent writing of Clarke’s parenting we’ve on screen so far).

Moving right along, we had a lovely flashback montage of Hope and Dev, which was sufficient to make me (and several of the tumblrs I follow) care about Dev at least enough to be saddened by his death. However, what we didn’t get was a damn crumb of flashback showing Orlando and Anomalykru developing any kind of familial relationship between him agreeing to train them, and whatever dynamic we were supposed to pick up on at the end of that episode. I got a little protective big sister vibe from Echo and Hope but that’s it. They apparently expended their allotment of emotion-inducing flashbacks on the dead guy, and failed entirely to make me give a shit about (as it turned out) the next dead guy.

Now we’re going into an episode with Octavia on (presumably) Bardo in the promo, so I’m guessing we get to see her skyring-self link up with her return-to-Gabriel-with-clean-hair self. As least with Octavia’s jumping storyline it seems like the writers have consistently made some kind of effort to fill in the blanks.

But we’re also looking at the rest of the season where Echo, Gabriel, Hope, oh hi Jordan I forgot about you again, Diyoza, Octavia, and probably Bellamy and Hoth!Kru (AKA team let’s follow Raven onto a strange planet without putting on suits or having an exit strategy, yay!) have all experienced asynchronous development over periods of multiple years. Given the show’s track record from seasons 5 and 6, I strongly suspect that this won’t be handled any better, meaning that the final season of this show is going to try not only to resolve all the plot points, but to toss in a bunch MORE offscreen character development and hope we catch on.

Beyond character development jumps, we also have Raven and Murphy losing their seasons 1-5 development in season 6 only to have to re-learn and re-change back to who they already were in seasons 4 and 5. Murphy learned to value his spacekru family and stop putting himself first 100% of the time, and yet his arc in season 6 happened. Raven has always been involved in the big life-or-death decisions, and had her being-the-bad-guy moment in season 4 with the rationing, but as we saw in 7x03 the writers really wanted to… redo all of that for her? The girl blew up a bridge full of guys and flash-fried a 300-person army when she was 18; blood on her hands may not be fun but what’s with seasons 6 and 7 acting like it’s something new?

While I’m aware that Jason said his seasons are individual movies (don’t admit that you’re bad at continuity buddy ‘cause that’s what it sounds like) seasons 1-5 and 6&7 are clearly telling separate stories (or 1-4, 5, 6-7 if you prefer). The trouble with 6&7 is that unlike seasons 1-4 (and sort-of 5) we no longer know the characters. Every time someone sits still too long, character-development wise, plot comes along and hits the reset button, tosses them into a wormhole for a couple of years and they come back with the same face but no continuity. It was difficult enough to deal with in season 5 – between 6 and 7 I just can’t keep up. (Even writing this meta, I have to keep going back because I remembered another character who fell into this trap.)

Now if a fanfic writer had done the exact same thing – same plot, same time skips, same organization – it would have played out completely different to the readers. We could have gotten to see inside the character’s minds when they arrived back on screen, seeing things with new, older eyes. We could have had minimally invasive flashbacks to show important exposition (like the disaster that was the conversation about Madi’s mom) and verbal descriptions to point out differences like Octavia’s ten-years-older body. Additionally, the plots of seasons 6 and 7 are so different yet full of overdone callbacks to the earlier seasons – if a fan was writing their own AU story but still wanted some of the trappings of the original plot I’d get it, but on a TV show written by the same people it just feels like they ran out of ideas.

Watching seasons 6 and 7 is exactly like watching fanfiction would be – but without the written and fan-made advantages of fanfiction, they fall flat.

*I do like season 7 better than season 6 because the content of the individual episodes containing Murphy/Emori/Raven and Octavia/Diyoza/bbyHope was still enjoyable content, so 2 out of 4 I have liked so far, despite this very very long rant I’ve just written explaining why as a whole I rather hate the season overall.

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in-madhouses · 4 years

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hiiii! have some fun 1daaw questions!!: what is one idea that you've always wanted to write but haven't had the chance? what was the initial inspiration/idea behind each of your fics? if your ofc's were ever put in a room together, who would get along and who wouldn't? which side character is your fave to write? what do you think is the hardest part about writing? are you a oneshot or a full fic kinda person? what is the fic you are most proud of and why? enjoy!! x

Hello!! These are like.. wow. Great questions really. And answering them took longer that I’d care to admit but here we go;

The idea that I haven't had the chance to write...

is definitely an immortals AU that tracks two lovers through the centuries. It’s plotted out and everything for aaaages but I’m horrible with my time planning and so it never came to be.

And since this is 1DAAW after all I’m giving a shout to @lifesbetterasamermaid and @harrysdodgyankles who both have A++ immortals AU, so if you have a hankering go give them some love.

Bonus self plug: There’s also a Liam footballer AU that I may or may not maybe be bringing back and a Harry hired gun AU that I teased a while back and never started posting. (Hit the little speech bubble below and tell me what you think about either one maybe? 😬)

The initial inspiration behind my fics...

vary quite widely. Sometimes it’s as simple as a prompt I received participating in a challenge or a line in a song that you can just feel a full story writing itself in your head, and other times, it’s just an idea that hits when you’re drinking a tea (with maybe a splash of Irish) like

If my OFCs were ever put in a room together...

Maeve (from the zombie au) and Malaika (from the listen one shot) would probably break themselves out of there in a jiff tbh.

Rian (from the ripped at every edge one shot) Zaemira (from the fight one shot) In-su (from the flowers series) and Kai (from the lovers series) would probably be chill.

But they would not mix well with Joy (from the you series) or Aahna (from the louvre series).

Addison (from the wasting colours series) and Adelia (from the your hand forever series) would probably get along swimmingly, bonding over their expensive tastes and the same boy they love in their different worlds.

(And what I’m getting from this question is that I have way too many stories on this hellsite.)

The side character that I love writing...

is probably the best friend. Writing in the character’s friends or their one ride-or-die buddy is always fun because dynamics between people can range from

The hardest part about writing...

is actually doing the writing. Finding inspiration, plotting the ‘rising action’, and planning character development is the bare bones of the ‘process’ and I could spend forever swimming in my drafts mulling things over to get it just right, but the writing, the actual writing, letting the words bring the idea to life—that’s the killer.

And that’s one of the reasons why writers like @booksncoffee who consistently churns out content for her fics are absolutely *chef’s kiss*

One shots or full fics...

It really depends? I’m very much a mood reader and sometimes I want a one shot that’s all five thousand words of angst and pining, and sometimes I WANT the drama.

(Cue to plug @verorax and her young and famous series which btw, is sensational? and @thicksniall with the fic legacies that I haven’t started but am absolutely hooked already with just the summary)

In terms of writing, I do both without much of a preference because it’s all about being able to tie an idea together to completion. If I can’t do it in a one shot, then it’ll definitely bleed into a chaptered thing. A lot of my one shots are done as presents or as part of fic challenges working with a simple theme, trope, or prompt.

The fic I am most proud of...

is probably a tossup between And They’ll Hang Us In The Louvre or As Lovers Go.

Lovers was one of the first mini-fics I wrote for the fandom that sprung from a simple ‘what if’ trail of thought. It didn’t come from a prompt for a challenge (like Fists Full of Flowers was) and wasn’t written for anyone other than for myself. Completing Lovers gave me a real sense of accomplishment and the encouragement I got from writing it made me continue on this little writing journey.

Louvre on the other hand was ten kinds of fun—the switch up of social media formats, the dynamics between the characters, the fact that I made the boys into Marauder era actors, and of course the bits of smut sprinkled in. Writing a mixed woman of colour who has a strong sense of who she is and isn’t too far removed of her roots was also something that I really enjoyed because we don’t see enough of it in fic and representation in fic really makes me feel some kind of way like

And with that said, I HAVE to shout out to @stylishmuser who exclusively writes WOC, exploring the themes involved in their culture magnificently, as well as @infinitiae and @marisa-writes who I believe both also feature WOC in their stories. There are probably so many more fic writers I’m missing out on but I can’t figure out the keep reading tab on my mobile and this is already far too long so I’ll just leave it as is.

Thanks for this cool 1DAAW initiative, Leesh!

#asks #answered #1DAAW things #this was really fun #i might just drop into writers asks myself

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eveninglottie · 4 years

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write what you want regardless of the genders. it's better to spit the story out and then go back and revise then get hung up on whether or not every interaction or plot point could be part of an 800 word call-out tweet-longer that briefly trends on fanfic twitter. everyone comes at fiction from their own distinct background. you could write the most 'pure' romance ever, regardless of the genders, and it could still inadvertently trigger someone or raise concerns. comfort can be misleading.

so I don’t want you to think I’m disagreeing with you here, because you’re right. people spend way too much time thinking out the possible doomsday scenarios of what they might do instead of just doing it to see what happens. I am one of those people, for sure, it’s stopped me from doing pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted to do my whole life, so we’re on the same page here with both the concept of not worrying about what other people will think and also how no one holds the magic gatekeeping key which dictates what is problematic or not. every person is different and some things will upset people in a way that doesn’t upset you. that’s just a given.

but I think that’s not really helpful when you’re trying to figure out your own motivations for doing something.

like, yes, is a lot of this affected by how I think other people will react to things I create? of course. everything i do will be affected by how I think other people will react. that’s just how my brain works, and it’s my job to keep growing more confident in myself to counteract that (because the older you get you really do give less of a fuck and boy it’s so nice!!) what I was trying to bring up in that post was my own reasons for feeling more comfortable writing one thing than another.

because I just think it’s fascinating and complicated and I’ve mentioned more than once to friends that it really just surprised me how freeing writing m/m has been vs m/f. it’s like my descent into sk was this moment of enlightenment when I realized “hey this is a hell of a lot easier to talk about when there are two boys involved!” like I realize that the majority of my writing the past two years has been on my own, and even though I can tell you’ve I’ve written well over 500k words and only posted maybe a fifth of that I can’t prove what I’m about to say so you’re just going to have to take my word for it, BUT I’ve included so much more discussion about sexuality and how characters express it and grow with it and figure out for themselves what they are. like it was never a thing I thought about a lot when I was writing my m/f fics (even tho all the women were still bi but that’s a whole other barrel of monkeys). it was never me sitting down and interrogating my choice for writing that pairing the way I did. I just did it. (I didn’t stop to consider the gender is what I mean, I thought about literally all the other things but gender and sexuality were not included in that) but now there’s a whole other sphere of characterization that I keep finding myself drawn to, and even without realizing it, it becomes a big part of how I write certain characters. (like deciding to write keith as demi while still being sexually and physically attracted to shiro has been really eye opening for me as someone on the asexual spectrum.)

because like, for example, I wrote a fem!bilbo fic, right? so clearly I was thinking about gender a bit, but most of that had to do with me having always reimagined that story (and lotr) with female protagonists. that’s what I did with a lot of childhood faves, actually, eragon, harry potter being two of the most prominent, and thinking about fem!bilbo and how that would change the story especially if she was in a relationship with thorin and the shire was maybe a bit more stifling for a woman, etc. - BUT that was one of those pairings that I’d never been drawn to when it was m/m. I couldn’t really get into it, and I was not a fan of the hobbit movies at all, honestly, and I tried, and it was only when I switched things around did that fic click for me, but I wonder a lot if I were to have come to hobbit fic later, after I’d gotten over my aversion to m/m (not in general, just me writing it, because reasons), would I have written it with bilbo as a boy? would I have been less likely to imagine bilbo as a woman? or was it a number of factors that led me to write that fic which really couldn’t have existed in any other incarnation, and would it have been a different fic entirely?

(the hp thing in particular is SO WEIRD to think about now because a lot of what I’ve been grappling with in my drarry fic is very male-centric? not like in a bad way, just thinking about the rivalry and bonds between boys and how boys look up to their male mentors and authority figures in very different ways than they do their female counterparts and also what does being interested in other boys do to one’s internalized and very misogynistic/homophobic ideas of Legacy and Family and Proper Gender Expression specifically when it comes to sex with other men like it’s Very Gendered in my head and it’s hard to separate that from what I used to be interested in which has expressed itself in other ways, specifically roslyn as chosen one in ascendant which I’ve said before was the result of a decade of rewriting those boy heroes as girls because I felt so connected to them and wanted girls to be every bit as important as boys, like I could draw a straight line from me writing bits and bobs of girl!harry as a fourteen year old and me writing roslyn in ascendant and wow I kind of want to punch myself in the face for how long I’ve rambled on about my own stuff but you know what no this is my tumblr and I get to obsessively and exhaustively talk about my own fictional worlds if I want to)

so it’s been a bit of a mindfuck trying to reconcile this shift in my own interests with the fact that I am a woman who identifies as largely asexual. and I think it’s important to sit down with yourself every once in a while and really look at the things you produce and do some self-examination. because I do wonder a lot if my comfort writing m/m now is because of this lack of pressure I normally feel when writing female characters or if it’s because I don’t have to interact with Me As Author so much when I write about boys because I am not a boy or if it’s because I feel a lot more comfortable identifying as queer when for the majority of my life I’d forced myself to be straight even though it didn’t feel right.

then there’s the whole conversation about women writing m/m and how a lot of queer men feel they’re being fetishized or that their stories are being appropriated by women, in the same way that white people writing stories about people of color can be appropriative, men writing about women, straights writing about lgbtq+, cis people writing about trans or genderqueer people, et cetera with literally any minority being written by someone not from that minority, right?

and I think it’s a bit reductive to say that it doesn’t matter. because it does matter. you’re right in saying that it matters to someone and I think the job of anyone who creates any kind of content is to think about that and be mindful that you don’t create in a vacuum. your art has power even if you don’t think it does, if you don’t want it to, and that’s something no one should take for granted.

now, I am not saying that certain people do not have the right to write certain stories. no one has the right to write anything, just as no one is forbidden from writing anything. and no one writing anything should be harassed for writing something that people perceive is out of their wheelhouse (because a lot of marginalizations are not visible! abuse, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, whether you’re neurotypical or not! and there’s no requirement that you make public your trauma/identity to provide cred! in fact it’s kind of horrific that anyone thinks this!) it’s a complicated dynamic but the more we talk about these things the easier it is when a marginalized person says, “hey this thing you wrote is kind of bad,” the writer can go “oh man I’m sorry, let me think about it and see what I did wrong so I can do better in the future” OR “oh wow I see what you mean, but this is important to me” and the reader can go “I respect your right to write what you want and in the future I’ll do more to shield myself from this kind of content” instead of Cancelling someone because they didn’t effectively prostrate themselves before the ultimate judges of problematic content, a bunch of randos on the internet.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, yes, I agree with you that it’s not necessary to worry about this stuff, and that a lot of it is energy wasted especially when you’re worrying about theoretical responses from people who read your stuff, but that’s not helpful to me, because I think that’s disregarding the fact that we live in a society with weird power dynamics that are constantly shifting. I think it’s my job as someone who is mentally capable of dealing with this kind of self-examination to push back on some of these things when I can. because if I didn’t challenge myself every once in a while, I wouldn’t grow as a person or a writer and if there was one mantra I would live my life by besides the assertion that I would be blissfully happy if I downloaded my consciousness into a robot body, it would be that You Have To Be Okay With Critique and It’s Good When People Call You Out In A Safe Setting, like everyone is a dick and an asshole and a Bad Person and pretending you’re not is the most useless battle you could ever fight. we contain multitudes and some of those tudes are downright ugly.

quick sidebar: I would not have been able to have this kind of conversation with myself four years ago, and something I have not even talked about is how my shift toward more m/m content began at the same time as I was getting used to getting medical treatment for my grab bag of mental illnesses, like it’s pretty obvious that I got into sk right about the time I settled into my meds so what does That even mean?? so many THINGS to consider!!

idk. I know when I write stuff like this people think I’m beating myself up over it, but I’m really not. I just like talking about it sometimes and this tumblr is where all my neuroses go to live forever more in the annals of this blue hell until I chicken out and delete them the next day. I guess I know that when I read other people talking about things I’ve also been thinking about, it’s nice to hear. and as this is something that is still new to me, fandom in general is still bonkers to a part of my brain because I came into it as an adult, the whole conversation (if there even is a conversation because there might not be but there’s one going on in my brain) about women writing m/m is interesting complicated and something I think about a lot. clearly without any real focus or conclusions to be drawn, because I dropped out of college and never learned how to make my point in a concise and understandable manner.

anyway I hope you don’t read this as me arguing with you nonny, I just wanted to clarify what I mean in the original post

#oh boy this got very long #anonymous

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secretlyatargaryen · 4 years

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Ugh asoiaf fandom is so frustrating. I'm so sick of people talking shit abt tyrion when their faces do literally all the same shit but they only hold tyrion accountable. Like multiple people have said that they dont shop tyrion with anyone because of his issues with women but then ship Petyr and sansa or sandor and sansa and its like,,,,, just say his dwarf dick makes you uncomfortable and leave oh my goddddddd

And like I have no issues with people shipping whatever the fuck they want, but if you cant bear to ship tyrion with anyone because his canon flaws make you uncomfortable then you should also be uncomfortable with people like petyr and sandor. It’s not a moral “this is how you should be” its literally a logical “this is how you should be” and the fact that they’re not just shows how fucking transparent they are

I’m far from an anti make no mistake it’s just the hypocrisy that pisses me off. I’m sick of the ableism and I want positive tyrion content I cry

It’s just plain ableism. I don’t care what people ship, and people have different tastes and tolerances and experiences, so some people might be able to handle, say, Sansan, despite the fact that he assaults Sansa, but not like Tyrion because the forced marriage makes them uncomfortable. That’s perfectly fine. What’s not okay is faking moral superiority or acting like your fave is objectively less problematic, or acting like it’s objectively worse for Tyrion to be in a situation with Sansa that he was forced into and which is also abusive for him vs Sandor acting of his own free will.

People also need to realize how ableism comes into play in the way fandom views Tyrion as a whole, even among Tyrion fans. I think a lot of people do this unconsciously because ableism is a learned institution that permeates our society and our thinking unless we actively question it. So when I talk about ableism I’m not saying people are sitting there going “grrr I hate people with dwarfism” (although there is a lot of blatant ableism in this fandom wrt Tyrion because people with dwarfism are largely seen as an acceptable target even among people who consider themselves sensitive to social justice issues), what I mean is that ableism is often present in our thinking even if we don’t realize it, so people do have to question WHY they see Tyrion’s sexuality as so much more threatening and uncomfortable. Shit like that post in, ironically, a livejournal group called “Sane ASOIAF Fans” where the poster was like “It’s a good thing Sandor’s cock didn’t betray him on the night of the battle of the blackwater!” to make some kind of disgusting comparison between a scene of a grown man assaulting a child and a child being raped by his father, in order to make the former seem better and to demonize the latter, is not okay, and a symptom of the ableist idea that even when Tyrion is being abused, he is a figure of disgust or somehow to blame. People are enthusiastic to ascribe malicious or immoral intent to Tyrion even in places where they would forgive others, and that IS a symptom of how we as a society collectively think about people with disabilities, disabled men and in particular men with dwarfism, who throughout history have been used as a symbol for disgust and a threat to idealized feminine purity. That’s why people are more inclined to, say, forgive Sandor on the grounds that he was drunk, but ascribe malicious intent to Tyrion despite the heavy coercion that he is under. It’s also why people are more willing to forgive Jaime for having abusive sex with Cersei, because he fits a masculine ideal and has sex within the confines of a relationship, and it’s easy for us to say that Cersei “wanted it anyway,” vs Tyrion who is both disabled and has taboo sex with women he pays for. There’s a lot of assumptions about how OBVIOUSLY no woman could actually want to have sex with him, therefore it’s somehow worse for him to have sex or think about having sex. This also comes out when people sneer at Tyrion for thinking that he wants Sansa or Shae or anyone to love him. There’s a perception in fandom that NO ONE could love Tyrion so anytime he thinks about wanting love it’s somehow wrong and a sign that he really wants to commit rape or that he’s imposing on women (specifically able bodied, idealized women) by even thinking about them.

That’s why fanfic writers who want to imagine Tyrion being in a mutual relationship are sneered at, because there’s no way that could REALLY happen, right? Like, I can’t count the many times I’ve heard about how it’s somehow awful to imagine Sansa being in a mutual relationship with Tyrion because it’s “disregarding Sansa’s desires.” What bullshit. Sansa is a fictional character, and her story is far from over. If I write a story in which Sansa desires Tyrion, then it’s not Sansa’s desires that are being disregarded. It is the ableist reader’s perception of Tyrion that isn’t being catered to. Same with the insistence that Tyrion has to be portrayed as a sexual deviant or predator, and this goes for the show adaptation as well as fic. There is NO reason that Tyrion has to be portrayed the same way in the show, or in fanfiction, that he is in the books. No reason. Tyrion is a fictional character, and not a real person. So no adaptation is actually “whitewashing” him because there is no real Tyrion to whitewash. So when people are like, “but Tyrion did x thing!” Okay, great, but in my story he doesn’t. There’s no reason that should be a problem unless you’re really invested in seeing this character being portrayed a certain way, and being invested in seeing fictional disabled people be portrayed as villainous or immoral is not a good look.

Also, within fandom, even Tyrion’s moral behavior does not explain the lack of fic or fandom content. I have been told lots of times that it’s okay for me to write “dark fic” about Tyrion (which is bullshit anyway), but if that were the case, why are there not hundreds of dark fic about Tyrion? Why doesn’t he have a thriving fandom the way Thramsay does, if that’s the real reason people are uncomfortable?

I’ll tell you the reason why, it’s because Tyrion is a dwarf. That’s the reason people are more comfortable with like, all manner of sadistic torture porn but the idea of a person with dwarfism being portrayed as a sexual being, as a romantic being and an object of desire, makes people uncomfortable. That’s the reason Tyrion’s sexuality is exaggerated in fandom (which is so meta because this EXACT THING happens to Tyrion in the books and is used against him in his trial, to make him seem sexually deviant, when his sex life with Shae is, in reality, pretty vanilla.)

It’s also an interesting phenomenon to observe because the way Martin writes the story, Tyrion’s sexuality is on display for the reader. Sandor’s and even Petyr Baelish’s aren’t. Even though we hear about it, we don’t get the details and narrative closeness that we do with Tyrion. That’s why there’s a persistent fandom belief that Sandor doesn’t actually sleep with prostitutes or that his sleeping with prostitutes is somehow innocent, or why there are certain fans who make excuses for even Petyr. We’re told it happens in the books but we don’t see it, so it’s easy to idealize or imagine away. Meanwhile GRRM revels in the details with Tyrion and like, on one hand that’s part of what makes the character revolutionary, because the book deals openly with the sex life of a character who, because of his disability, would usually be portrayed as sexless in fiction, and does not apologize for it. But the flip side of that is that people with dwarfism have also, historically, been treated as an object of fetishism and sexual horror, and for all GRRM imbues Tyrion with humanity, there is something of a voyeuristic quality in the way he writes Tyrion. The reader is kind of like Oberyn going “oooh, tell me more!” and it also must be remembered that GRRM does not have dwarfism and is able bodied, so the way he writes Tyrion, especially with regard to sex, is not exempt from these stereotypes about people with dwarfism.

So like, when people cite x, y, and z thing as a reason Tyrion shouldn’t be shipped with *anyone*, maybe we should question why the story was written in such a way that the only POV character with dwarfism and a congenital disability in general can comfortably be excluded from shipping. Maybe we should question why we allow exceptions for other characters but automatically assume the worst about Tyrion, even when we aren’t in his head.

And if it’s about Tyrion’s relationships with women, why aren’t there tons of m/m ships with Tyrion? I can probably think of like, ten possibilities off the top of my head which make more sense and have more canon evidence than most widely accepted asoiaf ships. Why is Tyrion excluded from even AU scenarios, if it’s really about what Tyrion does in canon? Why is there so much policing in fandom of even fix-it fics or noncanon fics that want to imagine Tyrion a different way? Fandom is about creativity, and insisting that this character with dwarfism HAS to be portrayed a certain way and nobody else can imagine him any different is extremely uncreative, and as I said before, it is NOT a coincidence that fandom suddenly gets uncreative when it comes to a character whose disability marks him as other.

#fandom drama #ableism cw

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

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My routine for getting in the character's head.

I’ve been asked about this a lot over the years, more so recently with the influx of new readers from Let The Flames Begin.

Now you guys can take this with a grain of salt. I’m not saying this is the RIGHT way to do it, or that its the ONLY way to do it. I’m saying this is MY way of doing it.

The biggest compliment of my writing and the one I get the most is how well I write characters from the show, keeping them true to themselves. This is a huge fucking deal for me because I put a lot of effort into doing this, so the fact people notice makes me all happy inside.

I like to think it's one of my strengths in writing. I know my strengths and my weaknesses, and there's nothing wrong with knowing what you're good at, before people start telling me I’m being arrogant loooool.

When actors are playing a role, they all have their own little things they do to get into character before they start filming. I do the same kind of thing to try and get in the right mindset. I do it before writing each chapter to try and get the best feeling for the story. I’ve been asked so many times how I do it, so I figured I’d just make it into a post for anyone that might be curious or wants to find a new method of doing this shit.

Actors

As mentioned above, actors have their own shit they do. It's worth googling the actor that plays the person you’re writing about. See if they have spoken about what they do to get into character right from the source.

This shit can be really helpful for you. You’re finding out from the person that plays them just what goes through their mind when they do it themselves.

With me writing for Daryl, Norman has mentioned how he listens to a lot of Motorhead to get into character. This has been helpful for me but I won't go into detail yet, I talk about music further down the list.

The point is, if your actor has spoken about this, either in interviews or panels at a Con, it’s worth slurping up that knowledge greedily. Maybe it’ll work for you, maybe it won't. You won’t know unless you try it.

YouTube clips and shows/movies

I watch a lot of clips on YouTube before each chapter. I find YouTube better than watching the show or movie I’m writing about, because it's quicker to find what you might be looking for. You can just search for a certain season or scene, or even the character with a specific emotion. I don't have time to go through the show and focus on all the other characters that might not be relevant for that chapter.

But whichever you choose to do, I’ll tell you what I look for.

Now I write for Daryl, and his voice has changed a lot throughout the seasons. I mentioned before about it, how at first it sounds like Norman’s real voice with a southern twang smacked on top, and now it's deeper and more gritty.

It doesn't matter who you're writing for really. Maybe their voice changes, maybe it doesn't, but it's still helpful to watch the clips that are most relevant to you.

I will search for whatever season Daryl I’m writing for to get it just right, so I can hear him crystal clear in my head.

I want to hear his accent, the cadence of his speech. I want to hear how he says certain things, the tone he uses, certain phrases he might use a lot. I want to get his speech down so that no matter what I make him say in my fic, I can make it sound like he actually said it. I need to be able to hear it clearly in my head in that voice of his.

You might not think this kind of shit is important, but to me it is. And as I said, this post is me saying the shit that I do. Hearing him in my head perfectly and being able to translate that to my writing is one of the most important parts of getting him true to character.

There’s been times when I haven't watched the clips, times when I thought I had his voice down already. But then something seemed off. So I watch a clip and I realise I’m just a bit off. But then I can fix it.

Am I being a bit anal here? Yeah, probably. But I pride myself on trying to capture the essence of the character, and this is the effort I put into doing so. I especially put more effort into his speech since I’m from the UK, so some of the stuff doesn't just naturally come to me.

I look at his mannerisms. What things do your characters do when they’re happy? Upset? Angry? Anxious? All of these little details make a huge difference because it makes your readers see it in their mind. And if it's something they’ve seen them do before on the show or movie, it rings true in their mind. They don't have to try and imagine something that never happened, because if the character acts that way, then it's already in their memory for them to draw from.

Being able to see how they react to certain things, see what they like and don't like. It really helps you keep things as in character as possible. For it to line up with the character your readers know from the show.

If you’re writing about the character, then you obviously know and like them. But observing them like this steps it up a notch, to really get right in there. Make notes if you need to. Watch it for the sole purpose of observing them and what makes them who they are.

Headcanons

Headcanons are fucking wonderful things. I love headcanons. I love thinking about shit, I love talking to people about my headcanons. Gimme all the headcanons.

Now with these being headcanons, I will politely remind everyone that headcanons aren't gospel, they’re someone's thoughts. So don't be telling people their headcanons are wrong. That's just plain rude so don't act like a dick, yeah?

We’re humans and we’re entitled to our own opinions. We don't always agree on things and that's fine. But your own headcanons, whether you talk about them or not, can be really helpful in defining your character and getting to ‘know’ them on a personal level for your fic.

Headcanons really help me think of things that could alter the story, little things I could add that just make things more interesting or sound like I really put the effort and time in to think about it.

I think about their past, things that aren't seen in the show or movies. Certain memories, maybe moments that changed them a bit that might play into the fic at some point.

I think about their relationships with certain people and how it affects them.

I think about even small shit like their fave colour or what they like to eat.

When we make an OC, generally people think about all this shit. Some people even make character sheets and go all out.

Just because we're writing a character that is already there, doesn't mean we can’t try and get to know more about them than what's available out there. And it doesn't mean we can't use headcanons to bridge that gap between canon and what we don't know.

Headcanons are really useful tools for this shit, but like I said, not everyone will agree with them. I just ask everyone to be respectful when reading a fic if someone mentions a headcanon you might not agree with. We’re all entitled to our opinion.

This falls under YouTube and headcanons, but I love watching clips and dissecting them. Most of you guys have probably seen my post about the scene where Daryl finds Merle as a walker. I watched that clip and analyzed the shit out of it. I put myself in Daryl's shoes about everything he went through in that moment.

I do this a lot. I’m like a fictional character psychologist loooool But trying to think about why they act a certain way or why they react to things can be useful for you to use in later situations.

Music

Now music is a huge part of my life anyway. Listening to music has been a massive part of my life since the fucking portable CD walkman things way back when. Anyone else remember when the fuckers use to skip if it wasn't flat? Loooool

Anyway, this one might not work for you if you don't like music. But if you don't like music, I’d like to argue you aren't a fucking human honestly.

Try to think about your character and what music they like. Maybe they mention it in the show or movie so you already know what they listen to, maybe you don't know. But what can YOU see them listening to? What goes with their character?

This falls into headcanon territory if they don't make it known in canon, because you might think they like something others don't and it's your thoughts, and that's fucking fine.

Don't just think about songs you think the character would listen to. Think about songs that remind you of that person. It might not be something they would listen to personally, but something that when you listen to it, you think of them. Maybe the lyrics really remind you of that person or something they went through. Anything that screams that character when it hits your ears, it’s worth listening to before you write.

I have a playlist for Daryl that I was thinking about posting, not that anyone wants to know loool. It’s a mix of songs I think he would listen to himself and songs that just remind me of him when I listen to them.

Another helpful thing to do is listen to music that fits the feel of that particular chapter. If I’m writing a sad chapter, I listen to sad music. An angsty chapter, bang on some fucking Beartooth or Bring me the Horizon and I’m gold loooool

The point is, music affects me deeply. And I mean deeply. I cry at songs, I get mad when I listen to angry songs that make me think of shit. If you're like me, this can be so fucking useful to really get you in the right frame of mind.

I love to really convey emotion in my writing and I’d like to think I achieve that. I’ve had a lot of people say I do and some even say I’ve moved them to tears a time or two. Music is what helped me with this. When I’m feeling all those feels, it just pours out of me better. Sometimes music can be the little nudge you need to get you in the right emotion to write that certain chapter, or to really get a feel of the character.

Writing someone in character is all personal choice. Some people choose not to. Personally, for me, I love it.

It’s that saying of ‘write what you read’. I love reading characters that are really in character, it brings the fic to life for me. I can't sit and read a fic where its Daryls face and name but he acts nothing like himself. That's just my personal preference.

AU is different, sometimes it calls for the character to be out of character, but some things may stay the same. Like how they talk, some mannerisms and stuff.

You guys can do with this info what you will. I get asked quite a bit so figured instead of typing this all up multiple times I could just smush it into a post and refer people to if they wanted.

Maybe you don't agree with me, maybe you don't care or maybe you already know all this. I’m writing it for the people who have asked, the people who may ask in the future and for anyone that might be curious.

I’m not a professional, don't claim to be. Nor do I claim to be a wonderful writer.

The whole point of these fanfic Fridays is to kind of help anyone out in any way I can. Going off my own personal experience and anything I might be able to offer.

If this is helpful to even just one person, then my work here is done.

#fanfic fridays #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfic advice

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lokilickedme · 6 years

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Hello My Lady! Just because you asked, here are my faves of yours: #1 King (no surprise here), #2 Jack (too crazy not to love, and the stream crossing of pretty much all your stories is genius) #3 Chem/BD/TTW/TKH/TWK/can't remember them all. They're all special in their own way! Can't believe it'll be 3yrs soon since I started squatting your page!!! God time goes by fast! I'd like to add a special mention for the Muse Meetings, sooo funny, and a Golden Snowflake to Aleks. Cute little bumkin.

Thank you @fudgemuffinanon! Dear god, has it been that long? Seems like I joined up last year…*sits here blinking at my posts from 2015, wondering how that happened*

**LONG TEXT POST COMING UP**

You drew the lucky straw today my darling, I’m feeling wordy and in the mood to share. A lot of people have asked me over the last couple of years how some of my stuff came about, and you mentioned one that gets a lot of asks.

Lemme tell you something about the Muse Meetings. Way back in 1998 when I got my first computer, one of the very first things I ran across by way of internet fanfiction was a little something called The Very Secret Diaries penned by a writer named Cassandra Claire (who is now professionally published under the name Cassandra Clare). The Very Secret Diaries (which are hilarious, btw) woke something up in me - mainly because, as a lifelong writer who had never allowed anyone to read 95% of my work, I finally realized that yeah, there were other people out there whose brains deviated from the standard in the same way mine did. Her writing style back then (in the Diaries specifically, I’ve never actually read anything else she’s written) was very similar to the way I wrote, and those Diaries were exactly the sort of silly, ridiculous, irreverent thing I’d scribbled in my notebooks for most of my life. And people liked it, she had a huge following based on just those out-of-context glimpses of her characters’ personal thoughts. She was writing behind the scenes thoughts of characters, things that would never make it into books, and it was brilliant. That was the kind of stuff I loved to write but had never given myself permission to show anyone. She was showing hers to people, and they were loving it.

Which gave me the inspiration to not only put my work out there in the public eye for the first time ever, but to stick with my personal writing style (which I’d always assumed wasn’t what other people wanted to read, based on the books I’d been exposed to most of my life). Not change anything. Just do me. And doing me meant writing silly nonsense if I wanted to.

So - The Very Secret Diaries are more or less the inspiration for the Muse Meetings, or at least the official written version of them. I’d always imagined dialogues with my characters outside the confines of whatever story I was working on, but never thought anyone else would be interested in seeing me write it out.

The Diaries made me realize different. Not only were her characters yammering and complaining and snarking at each other (both out of character and in), they were doing it in exactly the way I’d imagined my own characters interacting in the real world. I loved it. Seeing someone else do what I’d always done in my head - and do it in an official, out-there-in-the-public-eye capacity, was a revelation. Finally I was able to give myself permission to write the way I wanted to, without restricting myself to the styles and methods in the books in the family library. It had always been in my head, but now it didn’t have to stay there. I could write proper stories, but I could also write what was going on in the other room, where the reader seldom gets to peek. And other people besides myself might like it because hey, there’s precedent.

That was freeing, and I am grateful to Ms Claire for that.

So, a little history that leads up to how and why I finally started writing out the Muse Meetings:

My first fandoms that I wrote for online were Harry Potter and Star Wars (Kenobi specifically). And yes, way back then (late 90′s - early 2000′s) there were already muse meetings among my characters. I’ve been doing these for a long time, and I wish the out-of-character stuff I’d written back then still existed (my HP stuff bit the dust when The Restricted Section shut down, and my SW stuff was on FF.net for a little while but honestly I don’t remember my user ID there or the titles of the fics, though I have searched…so they’re most likely lost as well). It’s sort of a shame because there were some old Anakin/Obi-Wan muse meetings that you guys would have loved…and the stuff between Remus and Sirius while we were hashing out what was going to be in their next chapter? It still pains me that it’s all lost, but maybe it’s for the best. That was nearly two decades ago, we move on to bigger and (hopefully) better things.

After my urge to write HP fic fizzled out I stopped writing for a while, but there were always muse meetings going on in my head for stories I scribbled mentally. To me they’ve always been more fun than the actual stories, which explains my love for gag reels and behind-the-scenes featurettes for movies (I watch those first, always).

And then I found AO3 - funnily enough, I discovered it while searching the internet for one of my lost HP fics - and I decided to start writing in earnest again. With all those thousands and thousands of fics and endless fandoms, it seemed like the perfect place to indulge my need to share what went on in my head. And as I settled into the MCU and my stories started to grow to include multitudes of characters, those impromptu staff meetings with my muses kept being called to order. Stuff that my characters would never say in the context of their stories got said. Scenarios that were too ridiculous to waste time writing were played out. Arguments and fights and bantering between characters who, in the restrictive confines of their own tales, would never in a million years interact…now they were throwing poptarts at each other (and occasionally knives) while the side characters wandered out of the room to watch TV or raid the fridge or sat in horror as someone’s until-now unassuming wife brandished a melon baller as a weapon.

It was messy and fun and was by far my favorite part of the writing process.

That’s what eventually became the Muse Meetings. You want to know how they escaped my head and became an official thing?

Well I’m gonna tell ya lol

One of my very first friends in here, the fantastic @elvenfair1, was one of my first readers at AO3 and she told me I should post links to my fics at this site called tumblr to bring in a bigger audience. So I opened an account here, followed her, posted some links as suggested, and she and I began messaging back and forth pretty much every night as we wrote our respective fics, bouncing ideas off each other and discussing plot points and brainstorming for character names. And as my characters sassed me and refused to cooperate with what I wanted them to do, I would tell elvenfair what was going on in my head with my dumbass OCs and OFCs and we’d laugh and gripe about trying unsuccessfully to reel in our unruly muses.

And then one night back in 2015 she said “You should post this muse stuff, it’s hilarious.”

You know what the first thing I thought was? Cassandra Claire did it 14 years ago and people loved it. So yeah, I can sure as hell do it if I want. If nobody is interested in it, at least it’ll amuse me and elvenfair and that’s cool enough.

And so I did. I started posting them in here first, then as people started requesting them more I eventually moved them to AO3 in a more structured format. And now you guys have multiple Lokis hurling curses at a bartender and viciously baiting a hapless movie star while teenage versions of two other attendees flirt with unsuspecting OFCs, with an occasional appearance by Thor dropping hints about future chapters and looking for fruit roll-ups. It’s messy, but it’s fun and I’ve always enjoyed writing it as a way to let my brain decompress, especially when one of my “real” stories has hit a roadbump.

Since then I’ve seen countless other professional writers doing the exact same thing - J.R. Ward even posts her own version of muse meetings on her official website AND has a published book (her Insiders Guide) that is almost entirely nothing BUT muse meetings. It’s surprising how many writers actually do this and I sometimes wonder if authors like Poe, Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Tolkien, Gaiman, McMurtry didn’t do it themselves (I’d bet money on McMurtry). Just goes to show there’s not an original idea anywhere in the universe…no matter how much you might believe you came up with it first, someone out there has been doing it for a long damn time before you - and a million more will do it after you :)

Anyway, I haven’t written any muse meetings in a while but they still go on constantly in my head. I get asked about once a week to go back to doing them, and one day I will, when I have time for it. My actual fics are struggling for writing time as it is and I made a conscious decision to weed out the unnecessary stuff in favor of “real work” (yeah right lol)…but yeah, the Meetings are still one of my favorite things and I won’t stop doing them permanently - they’ll be back.

So thank you Cassandra Claire for inspiring me to let them fly…if it weren’t for those whacked-out Diaries, the Muse Meetings would all still be in my head with only one person (me) laughing at them.

#fudgemuffinanon #long post #it's been a while since I got to talk to an adult IRL due to the kids being sick #so here have all the words at once lol

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