#or if it’s just anxiety

[tobuo]

in other news

there’s a vacancy for a small family jewellery store in my town that offers full or part time, doesn’t open bank hols or sundays, comes w full training and is literally a 10 minute walk away and yet i’m here like, unable to even push thru my anxiety to consider applying for it 🙃🙃🙃

#my brain is like hhh but you’d need to learn all the ins and outs of actual jewellery n diamonds n metals n go for training + that’s A Lot #but my brain is also like Yeah and you’re just using that as an excuse not to apply #idk it’s SO HARD #when ppl are like yeah you should trust ur gut/instincts/feelings #bc 99% of the time idk if my body is telling me it’s not the right opportunity for me #or if it’s just anxiety #i COULD just send an app and then go from there if i hear from them #hell even if i got an interview and offered the job i wouldn’t have to take it #so many steps before getting the job!!!! #and yet i can’t even think about making the first one #but i kno i need to bc my savings won’t last forever #like i have literally burnt thru one account already……. #and there have been so many things i haven’t been able to do bc i’m so worried about money hhhhhhhh

[ionomycin]

Mother of Pearl

#artists on tumblr #seahorses are cute aren't they #how are we coping with the heat wave everyone? #i'm too busy having like three different kind of existential crises #to worry about it being too hot #hot girl summer more like nonstop anxiety summer #pondering the fact that nothing is permanent #can't rely on anything to last #life is just #drifting in a sea of uncertainty #but anyway #happy pride month #be gay #eat ice cream #don't think about your mortality

[bowenoke]

#like this #trans #the ritual. #probably the rest of the trans community means 'oh nice fellow trans' i just have anxiety so I mean 'oh thank fuck' #i got home after having this happen to me 2x in one night and went mmmm banger post #and then it was

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Vanessa makes sun light up with joy!

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #vanessa afton #vanessa shelly #fnaf sun #sundrop #fnaf #fnaf movie #security breach #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #SUN FINALLY MENTIONED ☀️☀️☀️ #I’ve gotten a ton of requests for art of this boy! so I’m glad I got to draw em finally #I plan on drawing moon next! so keep your eyes out for that 👀 #finally some of sun’s anxiety is soothed by someone wanting to help him #my boy just needs some assistance #Vanessa once again adopts more of the Pizzaplex animatronics #Vanny probably isn’t too happy about being dragged in to help #but I doubt she can turn down Vanessa pff

[asavt]

Once upon a time a small rat walked into my web...

#cotl #cult of the lamb #shamura cotl #cotl shamura #cotl ratau #ratau cotl #fan art #digital art #my art #I think of the idea that Ratau went into Silkcradle and tried to battle Shamura and lost. #I think like ''take out their leader so they are all helpless'' #it didn't work #lost an eye #was constantly chased by the other bishop's followers for attempting to #and now years later in his extended lifespan #a certain spider walks into his hut #mind not quite there #quite lost #and they play a game #and maybe they recognize him maybe not #maybe the anxiety of having a ex-god-now-demigod is overreacted and overthought #but for now he'll just roll his dice #and see why they were once called the god of wisdom and war

[jessiesjaded]

Losing my mind at seeing Twitter Discourse where a girl talks about being a waitress and how sometimes people don't acknowledge her or reply to her at all when she speaks to them and how it feels dehumanising and all the people in the replies are like UM. SOME OF US HAVE /SOCIAL ANXIETY/ You're literally an evil person for wishing people would treat you with bare minimum decency :/ like idk how to tell you this but if a waitress asks how your evening is while she's taking you to your seat in a restaurant and you're gonna pretend saying "Fine, thank you" is a horrific arduous task like. Maybe you're just a massive cunt? Maybe you're just an insufferable fuckwit?

#i loveeeeee when people use social anxiety as an excuse to be rude like lmao #i get anxious sometimes and i can be awkward as fuck #but a two word 'Good. Thanks.' really is not that fucking difficult good god #especially since she stated theres been times when multiple customers will totally ignore any greeting and bark orders at her like. #youre just rude bro thats all that is

[aitadjcrazytimes]

#lmao #for anyone who's curious the process went: #send ask to aita official #blog blows up #someone realizes its a chexer fic #i follow them bc they seem cool #i join their rvb server #their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on #i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected #the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury #this leads me to do research into brain injuries #''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder'' #think on that for a while #go to the ER for unrelated reasons #remember my theory #bring it up to the doctor #Doctor Immediate Concern #doctors orders a ct scan #''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury'' #(i had had several) #''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit'' #and now we are here #it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic #and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences #so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself #^ ^ <3 #im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here

[liimonadas]

im actually obsessed with 2-4 phoenix he is tired of all this bullshit. i love how he does not say a word for like 5 minutes after edgeworth enters the room

#hes on no hours of sleep running on anxiety barely processing what just happened #i think hes allowed to lash out a little #im trying to get more comfortable posting doodles here because ive been doodling a lot to cope w the stress lol #phoenix wright #miles edgworth #franziska von karma #farewell my turnabout #ace attorney #fanart #art

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[humans-are-tasty]

#sir crocodile #dracule mihawk #buggy the clown #cross guild #my art #one piece #crochawk #dump of dumb stuff #i was looking at the old patrick bateman mihawk and ended up drawing axe wielding mihawk again #idk why #im just anxiety coping drawing #i wasnt going to post this but i forgot i scheduled it... omg #anyway im trying to be more free with drawing now and not caring so much #more like how i drew 2-3 yrs ago #if its weird and ugly then its weird and ugly #i also want to draw blackbeard but hes so hard to draw this way. still trying to figure it out #also please imagine crocodile standing with axehawk. i desperately wanted to draw crocodile with him but didnt #theyre axe murdering couple in crime #i took the last ones outfit from the shining #i try to draw lineart directly without a rough sketch stage. its sort of meditative #i'm gonna axe you one last time...

[beinganautismgirl]

this

This.

THIS.

THIS.

THIS.

This!!!!!!

(also, to everyone getting on my case about not reblogging or reposting, I actually tried to find this Tumblr after I found the post on Pinterest and it doesn't exist anymore, so shut up and get off my back 🙃)

#living with autism #anxiety and autism #autism #autistic adult #actually autistic #autistic communication #adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #audhd #the hell that is trying to find a job when you are neurodivergent #it is specifically designed to work against us #nothing is made for us #we just get royally screwed

[brainrotcharacters]

the man trained by the shimotsuki since childhood, the mind behind the three sword style, the demon pirate hunter, vice captain of the Strawhat Pirates,

easily stopped with a hand on his shoulder by his captain (currently in a silly hungry vibe)

#he blink #HE'S SO CUTE #help #zolu #zoro #luffy #one piece live action #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #my thinking is that zoro's survivalist (glorified anxiety) instincts found some peace in Luffy's presence at this point in the opla #any other person who tries to pull zoro back by the shoulder the way luffy just did? gone. zoro is suddenly fruit ninja again #any other person who even tries to REACH for him gets sliced n diced #especially to reach from behind him which is a general blind spot #someone with zoro's training would know how to track what happens in his blind spots #but someone with zoro's heart recognized luffy and said 'oy chill he's good he's the homie' #outside of his fight or flight mode #zoro feels safe enough now (in Luffy's presence) to become his true self #A Tired Stormcloud Character #who's going to tell opla zoro this is only the start #Strawhat shenanigans #on another note his earrings are so fkn pretty like *makes grabby hands*

[mavigator]

i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.

yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.

he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.

i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.

i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .

#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot #more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like #my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK #is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled #Kids.That are more visibly disabled

[kokoasci]

doodles of my beautiful son

#kokoart #my 28 year old son with chronic anxiety hes just like me #poe bsd #bsd #bungou stray dogs fanart #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #fanart #bsd fanart #bsd art #poe bungou stray dogs #edgar allen poe #digital art #sketch

[voiider]

I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)

Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes

And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day

The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)

And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip

#very remora fish with a shark #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid #who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time #so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost) #danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms #its been WEEKS #jason didn't know he could do that #nobody did #and now theres this 20ish dude standing there #human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety) #could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳 #i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk #so when danny is human its not as strong #batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG #but it goes both ways #idk #i just need more codependency fics :( #i should go on a bender #ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town

[uncanny-tranny]

To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately

#disability #currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it #people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but... #...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand... #...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it? #because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back... #...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it' #also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause... #...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac... #...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'