#or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation

[icyminghao]

why didn’t you tell me?

pairing: minghao x gn!reader genre: (some) angst, fluff, drabble, idol!minghao, established relationship warning(s): mentions of eating word count: 0.8k

summary: minghao sends you some alarming texts in the middle of the night, and you’re left to speculate the abundance of reasons why he would have sent them.

a/n: inspired by 21:20 of this video with minghao and park myungsoo! the ‘mala story’ segment really fueled my delusions omg

xu baobei ♡ [21:23]: We need to talk.

xu baobei ♡ [21:24]: Call me when you see this.

Those two text messages glare at you every time you pick up your phone, waves of dread coursing through your body as you start speculating the reason as to why your boyfriend had sent the texts so out of the blue.

Is he angry at you? For what reason? Is he going to break up with you? For what reason? You don’t think you’ve done anything to upset him lately, so what could be the issue?

Countless thoughts are flooding your mind as you pace around the living room of your apartment, debating whether to call him or not. If he really wanted to break up with you, wouldn’t you be sending yourself to death’s door by calling him?

Sighing, you bite your lip and decide to text him instead.

you [22:12]: talk about what?

Almost immediately, your ringtone blares through the speakers of your phone, and you nearly drop the phone in shock. Sure enough, the caller ID reads your boyfriend’s contact name, and you sigh in dread, taking a seat on the couch and mentally preparing yourself for what’s about to come.

“Hello?” you say as soon as you pick up, your heart rate picking up.

“y/n,” Minghao replies, his voice stern yet soft, like he can’t bring himself to be fully angry at you.

There’s silence for a short while, and you feel like you’re going to explode any second.

“Are you…” you break the silence, nearly trembling, “are you breaking up with me?”

On the other end of the line, you hear something drop. “What? No, y/n, I’m not breaking up with you. What made you think that way?”

“You- you sounded really scary in your texts,” you mumble, internally relieved that your boyfriend isn’t planning on breaking up with you.

“Text messages don’t carry tone in them, silly,” Minghao chuckles.

“I heard you went to the hospital. From Mingyu,” Minghao pipes up after a moment of silence, and everything clicks in your head.

You had indeed been to the hospital the day before upon suddenly passing out while hanging out with Mingyu’s sister, who’d sent you to the emergency room immediately out of fear that something serious had happened to you. Thankfully, the reason why you’d passed out had been due to fatigue, and you subsequently begged her not to tell anyone about it, despite her objections.

You’re guessing that she had told Mingyu about it, which you don’t blame her for, and that’s how you’ve ended up in this situation now.

“I did,” you reply simply, looking down at your feet.

“Are you feeling better now? What happened?” Minghao asks immediately after your reply.

“I’m okay now, it wasn’t serious,” you assure your boyfriend, “The doctor said it was due to fatigue.”

“Are you not eating and sleeping well?” Minghao replies with yet another question, worry laced in his voice. “Should I move back in?”

You start to panic a little at the idea of Minghao coming back to live in your shared home, seeing as to how he had moved to the dorm temporarily to prepare for their upcoming comeback, quickly refuting, “It’s okay, Hao, I’m okay! I think I just skipped a few meals because of work, I’ll make sure to have my meals regularly!”

Minghao pauses, then hums in response, seemingly not satisfied with your answer.

“Why… didn’t you tell me? I could’ve been there,” Minghao’s voice becomes softer, and you sense a bit of hurt in his tone, breaking your heart a little.

“I— I didn’t want to worry you, Hao,” you began, eyes downturned, “You have a concert and a comeback coming up that’s more important.”

“Nothing’s more important than you, y/n.” Minghao replies without missing a beat, catching you by surprise. “I’m your boyfriend, y/n, you can talk to me if anything happens. What if- what if something serious had happened, and I wasn’t there?”

Minghao’s vulnerable tone breaks your heart, and you frown at his words. Throughout your relationship, such a situation had never happened before, and thinking in his perspective, you completely understand why he’s upset, making you all the more upset at your actions.

“I know, Hao, I- I would want you to let me know if anything happened to you, too. I’m really sorry.” you apologise, wishing he were physically beside you so you could hug him.

Minghao sighs, clearly not wanting to escalate the issue for no reason. “It’s okay, darling, just let me know in the future, hm? I love you.”

“I will, Hao. I love you too,” you reply like it’s second nature, because it is.

A comfortable silence ensues for a while, the two of you at ease knowing that your hearts beat for each other despite the physical distance.

“Also, I’m moving back in. Comeback preparations are more or less done, anyway, and I believe making sure a certain someone eats regularly is much more important,” Minghao jests, and you hear some rustling in the background. “I’m on the way.”

You chuckle. You really don’t know what you did to deserve this man, but you know you won’t be letting him go anytime soon.

a/n 2: i’ve come to a realisation that i’m an absolute horror at writing endings LOL

taglist (send an ask to be tagged!): @slytherinshua @viscade @pepperonidk @belladaises @tastymintchocolate @dahliatopia @kwantaro @chanceonceli @hrts4hanniehae @leehanascent @nonononranghaee

masterlist

#ICY WRITES #kflixnet #k-labels #caratsland #caratlibrary #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt imagine #svt imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen drabble #minghao #xu minghao #minghao x reader #minghao fluff #minghao imagines #minghao fic #minghao drabble #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao fluff #xu minghao imagines

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

#oh my god this was supposed to be a brief write-up what happened 😭 #ugh i feel like this is a bit of a mess and there's infinite other little points i could've made or elaborated on or interpreted differentl #but i'm so tired lmao #anyways tldr fuck you illumi you suck #killua is a snarky little shit but he also has so much love in his tiny body and i think we should appreciate him forever and ever #this also accidentally turned into alluka and nanika appreciation. i love them #nanika sweet angel i love you so much i hope you get all the head pats in the world #ghhh i'm so scared this doesn't make sense anymore i've been working on it for almost a week #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh meta #killua zoldyck #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective. #storyrambles #also that one scene where gon turns to look directly at killua and tells him he has fun being with him makes me jdfhbvsdjfbvh #he's so intense about it i start laughing. no wonder killua basically just went ??!?!?!?! and like. leaned back because i think i would've #done the same lmaoooo #it's very sweet though :') #argh. gotta post. i need to stop hesitating. let's go.

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

[scoutswritingcorner]

Gala Night

PolyVees x GN!Reader

TW:Valentino. I do not condone his actions at all.

A/N: CHAUFFEUR READER IS MAKING A REAPPEARANCE!!!!

You quickly moved out of the way as a secretary rushed past you holding the phone to your ear as you tried to listen to what Valentino was saying, “Carino~ You wouldn’t mind going to see Velvette before you grab the limo? She has something waiting for you.” He purred through the phone as you tried to rush to the now closing elevator. “Son of a- those bastards.” You hissed out looking around, guess you’ll be running up twenty flights of stairs then wait 5 minutes for the next elevator, “Yes, go see Velvette and then go pick up the limo.” You repeated back to the Overlord who happily hummed before he had to abruptly hang up as he yelled at someone.

You opened the door towards the stairs and growled, Velvette was gonna be pissed at you for being so late but so be it. You started your ascent up the staircase, putting your phone back in your pocket and ignoring how it buzzed with texts from multiple people. Of course, Vox had called you in on the day of one of hell’s special occasions. The Overlords Gala. Where Overlords throughout the whole 7 rings of Hell get together at Lucifer’s palace. You had the day off originally but Valentino got a little mad and killed off the other chauffeur that drove them around that morning so everything was an hour behind, you were still in your pajamas and had barely grabbed your wallet and phone for the day.

It took a few more moments until you were on the twentieth floor, busting through the door and quickly running down the hall towards Velvette’s Fashion Department ignoring the looks of models and random demons in the hallways. As you walked in still out of breath and practically wheezing for breath you could hear Velvette yelling at some poor model before she moved them away. Janette whispering something to her before she whipped her head towards you, “Where the fuck have you been?” She asked storming over as you stood tall, “Running up twenty flights of stairs,” you replied before she rolled her eyes and pulled you towards the podium. Velvette’s eyes stuck to your outfit like glue before her glare darkened and her frown deepened. “What the fuck are you wearing?” She growled out as you looked down at the ‘Voxtech’ shirt and pajama pants you took from the gift basket (one of many) that Vox sent over to your apartment.

“..my pajamas.” You slowly replied before she scoffed and flicked her wrist as your pajamas disappeared and you were fitted in your normal outfit but the subtle difference was it had the V’s logo embroidered on the chest pocket as if they were planning to show you off and you weren’t just gonna drop them off and then go busy yourself with whatever you could find. Velvette walked over and fixed the jacket from looking lopsided, “Don’t run down those fucking stairs. You’ll tear something or fall and we don’t have time to fix another fucking mess.” She said before reaching up to brush your hair back, “Yes ma’am, no running down the stairs.” You repeated watching as a smile replaced the sneer on her lips. She patted your arms and waved you off to go do whatever else you needed to do. 

It didn’t take you long to get down the flight of stairs and down to the parking lot where Vox kept the limo and other cars you were asked to drive. Quickly showing your ID to the scanner on the door, Vox was really careful about everything. Even one small misprint on your ID would send him an alert that someone was breaking in, you walked into the large garage and looked around seeing the limo sitting near the back of the garage. You walked towards it to make sure everything was okay.

It wasn’t until an hour later as you were making sure the inside of the Limo was cleaned and restocked for the three of them that Vox had called you to tell you that they were about to leave. You got situated and drove the limo to the front of the tower ignoring how demons gathered around to see the Vee’s before they left for the Gala. But bodyguards had blocked the crowds as you rushed to the other side and opened the doors for the three Overlords, who looked like they stole a piece of Heaven with their matching outfits. You were not drooling over your bosses, focus. This is a big night and you’d rather not have a bullet in your head before the night is over. Keep your mind from drifting.

The drive was silent and long, only a few times did Valentino bother you which was weird but you didn’t pay attention to it much. As you pulled to a stop at a redlight, you softly tapped on the steering wheel as your eyes drifted around. You were liable to fall asleep if the silence continued like this, it wouldn’t hurt to play some music while they weren’t paying attention to you, maybe it’d get them to relax a bit too..even if they didn’t hear it due to the partition window. You turned the radio on, turning it down so it wouldn’t be too loud for them to hear as you started to drive down the road once more.

It was another few minutes before you drove past the giant golden gates, you felt weird about being around such a place. Especially since this had to be the first Gala in years after The King’s absence, you felt..unworthy of being in such a place. As you pulled to a stop in front of the palace doors, you parked the car and moved to open the door for all three of them. Valentino was first to exit, then followed by Velvette and finally Vox exited the Limo, his arm slinging around your shoulders. “Are you ready for a fun night?” He asked pulling you closer to his form as cameras flashed all around you. You blinked once..twice before it hit you..Vox was talking to you. “W-What?” You asked looking up at his screen seeing his smile grow wide at the question as he closed the limo door with his foot, his arm moving comfortably around your waist.

If you were anyone else there would be a sure chance he would’ve killed you right there for questioning him. But you weren’t anyone else, you were the Vee’s chauffeur. You were under their protection and you weren’t bound by any soul contract, you had free reign to do whatever you wanted. “The party~ You’re our guest~” Valentino cut in gently grabbing your chin and making you look towards him, oh boy the rumors will be running on for days now. You just whispered a soft ‘oh’ before looking away at Velvette who winked at you. 

There goes your plans to go to that diner downtown and eat dinner for cheap.

Taglist: @aboyscriminalrecord cause I know you thrive on the Vees.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #gn reader #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #the vees x y/n #hazbin hotel vees #poly vees #the vees #valentino x you #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino x reader #valentino #vox x you #vox the tv demon #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox

[wizblr-blue-moon-ball]

You find a letter addressed to you...

The envelope is a pale, moonstone white with gold filligree. It is sealed with a wax seal, the engravings from the stamp showing an intricate magical spell used to ensure the letter was delivered to you.

If you are with a friend who also recieves a letter, you notice that each seal was customized to specifically reach you and you alone.

The paper inside a fine parchment with an invitation written in deep blue ink....

☆

Hello Magical Friend~☆

You are cordially invited to the Blue Moon Ball, the first of its kind hosted on Wizard Island (Island).

It will be a week-long celebration of the magical and arcane with old and new friends; if you happen to receive this letter, you are one of many esteemed guests we would like to host at our establishment.

Should you decide to attend, please sign the RSVP card added within this envelope and send it back using your preferred method of mailing.

The ball will be held in the fourth week of May, the Nineteenth through the Twenty-Fifth (May 19-25). We hope to see you there!

Signed...

☆

Welcome everyone to the official announcement post of the Blue Moon Ball! Wizardblr's (maybe?) first community-wide event. Hosted by yours truly @the-necrobotanist! I'm happy to see you here!

The event will take place over the course of seven days, where participants will make posts relating to a series of themes throughout the entire week.

The event will take place on the week of the 19-25, mark your calendars!

◇

RULES

Please be polite and kind to other participants

No AI generation in any and all submissions

Do not reveal any personal info

No NSFW

(This is everything for now. Please do not make me extend this rule list)

♡

There are four categories for people to partake in for the prompts: Art, Writing, Roleplay, and Photography. I'll explain a bit more in detail about them below.. .

ART [#Blue Moon Ball Art]

Draw your character according to the prompts, and perhaps other people's characters!

Use of picrews/heroforge is allowed as long as you credit where you made the image from

Use of AI to make art is strictly prohibited and will not be included in the event.

No NSFW

WRITING [#Blue Moon Ball Writing]

Write a story, drabble, or fic of your character!

There is no base word count or word limit, do whatever you wish!

Poems and the like are totally welcome and allowed!

No AI generated writing is allowed.

No NSFW

ROLEPLAY [#Blue Moon Ball Roleplay]

Roleplay at the event! I'll make a few starters for people to post and add to :)

Keep everything SFW, and if a RP situation makes you uncomfortable please remember that it is okay to back out

No NSFW

PHOTOGRAPHY [#Blue Moon Ball Photogtaphy]

Take a photo! Whether it be an outfit, food, or a pet!

No revealing personal information. This includes your face, address, full name, etc. Please practice internet safety.

No NSFW

The official prompt list will not be revealed until 3 days before the event! There will however be a prologue prompt!

♤

Prologue Prompt

Your prompt for before the event is.....

DRESS YOUR BEST~☆

Gather your fabric and get your sewing kits ready, your first prompt is to design and create your character’s outfit for the ball!

Create an outfit and post it to tumblr, whether through art, writing, or whatever you wish! Make sure to use the tag #BMB Outfit so people can see your work, and feel free to mention me so I can reblog!

All outfits submitted (unless noted otherwise in the post) will be added to a poll for a "Best Dressed" poll that will he hosted after the main event is over, consider it an afterparty of sorts.

All rules above apply to this post, I hope you all enjoy!!

◇

ALSO JOIN THE DISCORD!!!

♧

That's everything for now! I'm so excited to be hosting this, and I'm so, so happy and grateful for the huge amount of people interested. I cannot wait to see what you make!!

Enjoy the ball, Magical Friends~☆ !!

¤

Pinglist Set A

@scuttling-comfuddlement @the-gnomest-bastard @kobold-sanctuary-buss-island @satyrs-apothecary @irving-the-pirate-wizard @morbingtime @justagingerwithredhair @chaos-familiar @these-detestable-hands @regina-the-sorceress @combustion-witch @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @selldemapplez @agentldiddy @fractalkitty @wizard-island-trading-co @good-wizard @the-illegal-wizard-council @ash-the-tiefling @mysticminion @blobbiedaykeeppcaway @life-is-okay-rn2 @skyethebisexualwolfwizard @thequeerwizardcouncil @dread-the-eldritch-wizard @profeshinul-wizurd @a-squirrel-wizard @the-mighty-dalob @amateur-wizard @chaos-wizard-nyehehe @bertskullhaver @transgender-wizard @flowers-the-sun-witch @the-silliest-sorcerer @wizard-ghost @a-goose-in-a-trenchcoat @flirtyambiguouswizard @paltering-peculiarity @parkyrtheelvishbard @ceeceelemons

#The Blue Moon Ball #The Blue Moon Ball Updates~☆ #wizard posting #wizardposting #wizardblr #IT'S HERE!!!! #Blue Moon Ball Art #Blue Moon Ball Writing #Blue Moon Ball Photography #Blue Moon Ball Roleplay #BMB Outfit

[random-fandom1984]

Can I have some g1 soundwave x reader please😅😅😅😅😅

Being the only femme Cybertronian on the Ark can be... something. Especially when some of them try hitting on you without getting to know you; quite annoying really, but you keep it pushed down; but some people can tell because of your alt-mode.

You stayed in the Ark because of your job as a medic. Your alt-mode is a heartbeat monitor, which also corresponds with your sparkbeats, which is how some people, very few, can tell what you're feeling.

You made your own little base of operations under an abandoned amusement park. You'd bring in people who were injured and left behind in the ruckus of the battlefield between the two factions. Human or Decepticon.

Whenever it's a human, you'd ask them to promise to not tell your Autobot friends about your place of escape, and they do. But with Decepticons, you make sure that they are knocked out, and you just give them a few amounts of anesthesia because they would break in, destroy the place, kidnap you and hold you for ransom against your friends.

One day, when looking through one of the many aftermaths of a battle, you found a minicon in the rubble, Soundwave's minicon: Frenzy. When you took him back to your base, you realized you've forgotten to stock up on more anesthesia, so now you have to worry with the fact that he might wake up soon as you did the procedure of fix-and-repair.

As you were putting your tools away, he woke up with a fright, and you quickly explained the situation to him, which slightly calmed him down. Key word: Slightly. He was suspicious of you but is slowly diminished as you continued to work on the minor injuries that just need a new paint job and be buffed. The last bit disappeared in an instant when you gave him an Energon Goodie.

When he came by again, to your surprise that he remembered the way here, you gave a tour of the place above, he somehow managed to get the place up and running again; thank Primus that your location was miles away from the nearest civilization.

As time went by, Rumble found out, then Ravage, then Laserbeak. When they come to visit, it would be like as if there was no war, they're having a good time in the amusement park.

Sooner or later, Soundwave got suspicious. Where were his kids minicons going late at night?

Being the best spy he is, he followed them, and was surprised that they were hanging out with an Autobot, weren't fighting like there was a war, stopping a fight between Rumble and Frenzy as calm as possible- and somehow easily get them to make up?! He couldn't do that without them continuing to squabble with each other.

He used his telepathy powers to look into your thoughts to see if you secretly had ill intentions with his sons minicons, but there wasn't any!

When his minicons return back to base, it's an instant interrogation the moment they step foot back in the habsuite: How long has this been going on? How did this happen in the first place? What do she always do with them? The only questions that were about you were answered back with positivity.

Curious, he decided to look more into your file when the Decepticons fight the Autobots near the Ark. When he does, all he finds is all good things.

When it was the next time they decided to visit, he wanted to meet her in person. And so he did, and by Primus were you nervous. You were worried he might blow your helm up. You, Soundwave, and his minicons walked through the park, watching the minicons play games, ride the rides; he began to trust you.

The more you all hang out in private, at your secret location, the more you begin to bond closer together, mainly you and Soundwave; the minicons noticed it as clear as day.

So, being mischievous little ones they are, Rumble and Frenzy decided to stage a lil' something. In private, the minicons would call Soundwave Sire, or dad in human terms. So, when the next time you and they met up, they would unexpectedly drop Carrier, mom, at random times in the night. When they first did it, they'd put on an act like as if they didn't mean to say it and it just slip. You fell for their act, so did Soundwave because it was unexpected.

They see you? An Autobot medic? As a parental figure? I mean, sure, you heal up their injuries, you give them Energon sweets if they be good and behave, calmly deal with their fights, gives them sweet head pats, have the most caring optics he's seen, the most beautiful smile- Oh, scrap! He's in love.

He would lie awake at night, questioning why he found you attractive. For starters, your gently touch that he felt when you repaired him, your smiles seem to shine brighter than any star, and sound from your vocalizer was like a siren's call and he was the sailor that was lured by its enchanting melody, your optics the prettiest shade of blue that rivals with this hunk of rock's sky, have the spirit of a Carrier with his kids- Primus, he was hooked, lined and had sunk deep.

After he came to terms with his newfound emotions, he started noticing something about you. Every single time he was close to you, he'd see the screen of your alt-mode, on your chassis, start getting taller. One time, he danced with you as music played in the park, and he saw that the big spikes became frequent, and a subtle blush would be on your cheek plates that you try to hide with your servo and turning your helm to the side. He found this adorable, so much that he became addicted to having that cute blush on your face.

When back on the Ark, you would get pings from an unknown comm-link number, only to realize it's Soundwave, and he's sending you something. When you are finally alone in your habsuite, you would take a look to see that they were poems; they were so sweet, you reread them, laying on your berth, kicking your feet as you excitedly giggle from how nice, sweet, and adorable they are that they might as well be invitations for Cupid to continue to shoot arrows into your spark, making you fall harder for the Con.

When they spent the night in your secret base, you all had fun doing any activity that comes to mind: pillow/blanket forts, teaching the little ones the steps on how you make your glorious Energon Goodies, etc. The last activity was a horror movie marathon. Every time a jump scare would pop up on the screen, you would hug the closest bot, and it just so happened to be Soundwave. During the horror movie marathon, you, Soundwave, and his kids ended up in a cuddle pile, scared, all but Soundwave, Ravage, and Laserbeak.

They decided to spend the night here before returning to the Decepticon base at the break of dawn. You decided to put the little ones to sleep. He decided to start cleaning up the mess that was made, and when he finished, he came back to you telling the ending of an old Cybertron bedtime story.

To him, it looked so nice and peaceful, and you looked so motherly that he just wanted to confess right there, right now. What sealed the deal was you placing a goodnight kiss on the top of their helms, tucking them to sleep before leaving the room they were occupying, only to be dragged off to somewhere by Soundwave, into the place you slept in from time-to-time.

You wondered what was happening, until Soundwave got on one knee plate, servos holding your own, visor looking up into your optics, glistening as he let out a very poetic, charming, delightful, exquisite of him telling you about his feelings, everything about you that made his spark soar: your voice, your optics, your touch, everything.

He carefully watched the screen on you chassis to see if there was any indication of making you uncomfortable or not. And by the end of his heartfelt confession, he watched the heart monitor didn't make any giant spikes. Oh, no. It made a heart at the center of the monitor as blush covers your entire faceplate.

Part 2 coming soon!

#transformers #transformers g1 #transformers g1 x reader #g1 x reader #soundwave #soundwave x reader #g1 soundwave x reader #cybertronian reader #frenzy #rumble #laserbeak #ravage

[max1461]

I had a dream last night that I ran for president. In the Democratic primary I won California, Alaska, "Washington" (which was directly north of California) and another state whose name I don't remember because it doesn't actually exist, but it was east of Washington along California's northern border (you have to imagine the two of them shaped approximately like triangles, making up an approximate square directly to CA's north).

There was a brief moment when I was in the lead. I knew it wouldn't last, but I remember capitalizing on the opportunity to proudly tell my parents "I'm the front-runner in the race for president of the United States!". Again, this was supposedly the primary, but I recall the electoral map showing blue for the establishment Democrat, red for the Republican candidate (Trump I think), and yellow for me. So maybe it was the national election; I think this is just one of those dream inconsistencies.

Anyway, for whatever reason me and most of my campaign staff were down in a cave. We didn't have internet access anymore, so I was relying on my campaign manager (who was above ground) to clue me in to what was going on. We were in an upper chamber of the cave, and there had been some kind of near-disaster in a lower chamber where the fire department had to come and rescue a bunch of people who were trapped. I don't remember if any of them were part of my campaign staff. Anyway, as the establishment Democrat took the lead, I remember talking on the phone—a big, thick, 90s-style cellphone—with my campaign manager about what I should do. Should I give some sort of statement to the press about it? Should I congratulate the winner on Twitter? He said no, no, don't worry about it; everyone knows you're down in a cave and don't have service, so they can't possibly expect that.

I have no idea why we were in a cave, if it was intentional or we were stuck there. I guess we were just in a cave!

Anyway, then disaster struck! One of my staffers found a bunch of people in need of rescue in our (upper) chamber of the cave! Now, this wasn't as dire as the earlier rescue. These people were much easier to get to. They were like, sort of hanging upside-down from a horizontally suspended rope, like clothes on a clothes line, basically. I don't know how they got that way but they were in a dire state from hanging upside-down for some long. Some of my staffers insisted they could rescue the people themselves (I think they were worried that calling in the fire department again would be viewed as wasteful and damage my campaign). They managed to get some of the people down from the clothes line. I asked my campaign manager what to do (I was still on the phone with him) and he was like "no, call the fire department!". So he put me through to the fire department and I told them what was going on.

You have to understand throughout these events that I'm like, me. I have no idea how to run an electoral campaign, I'm 100% relying on my campaign manager for every cue, and I'm really nervous about figuring out the proper etiquette for everything. When I was asking him about whether I should congratulate the winner on Twitter you have to imagine it in this sort of tone. Like, first day on the job, nervous "I'm following your lead here" energy. And when I get on the phone with the fire department I'm super awkward (I've never called them before!) and as I'm explaining the situation I'm thinking like "good, good, that was normal, I sound normal to the fire department right now".

Anyway then they come down into the cave and start rescuing people. I get back on the phone with my campaign manager and he tells me confidently "look, here's what we do: on Monday you're gonna give a press conference. You'll announce that your bid for the presidency is over, congratulate the winners, and reiterate your policy positions." I don't remember what else he said about it, but basically this was the most graceful way to end the campaign and keep my political career strong. I was a popular candidate with lots of youth support and energy behind me, so it was gonna be easy to parley that into later success. Now, I didn't want a further political career—this campaign was 100% a one-off—but I agreed the press conference would be a good idea. Unfortunately that would mean I had to write a speech by Monday, which was annoying.

Anyway, the establishment Democrat won in the end, and turns out it was Obama.

Then I woke up.

[bettsfic]

This may be a strange question, but as someone who has never gotten the hang of using notebooks in my day to day life (unless it's once in a while to outline something specific like a project for work), what are the kinds of things you write down in them?

for journaling, that's complicated. youtube always recommends me these "journaling will improve your life!" videos and i think they're very funny because i've kept a journal for 20 years and it has made me a worse and more miserable person. so i will not be writing any "how to journal" posts any time soon.

my commonplace notebook, however, is where i keep everything. every morning i write down the date, the hours i slept, and my weight. occasionally i track my mood and mental state, because when i meet with my psychiatrist i like to have cold hard data to give her. then beneath that, i write out my to do list for the day.

it's kind of a reverse bullet journal in that you fill it up with all the random ephemera of your life and then label the important bits with a highlighter and index it later.

more specifically i keep:

the books/movies/shows/etc that are recommended to me.

notes i take at the doctor's office, or when i do my taxes, or get my oil changed. i'm a compulsive note-taker. in fact i started a commonplace notebook because it calms me to have something to write on and with even in situations where that's weird. i'd rather look weird than be anxious.

ideas for fanfic, original work, newsletters, craft thoughts, workshop models, etc.

brainstorming/planning/prewriting stories.

tracking my WIP cleanout and annual goals.

doodling!

i think sometimes we get caught up in building spaces for things to keep them organized, like that's the whole point of bujo. you create a page layout to do a specific function and then you fill it out. but that doesn't account for the stuff you haven't made a page for, stuff that would be blight in a bujo. we also think that a whole page needs to be devoted to a specific thing, or a notebook needs to be devoted to its subject. but you an also just...not do that.

it's a lot of work to setting up a bujo. work i would love to have the energy and aesthetic inclinations to do. but i don't. so i do the next best thing which is fill up every page in the most chaotic way possible.

poorly scanned example pages under the cut:

these are notes i took during my rewatch of Mockingjay in preparation of writing Wind of the New World.

notes about leveling my Genshin team, and notes about a story i was working on. and a to do list.

working through a plot knot in Skinless.

Stardew Valley farm planning. and a grocery list i think.

i don't recommend this method for everyone. i think if i were to have read this post 2 years ago my thought would be, "what the fuck is wrong with you." but it works for me and makes me happy, and as long as all the important information is safely indexed and retrievable, it doesn't matter how messy the pages get.

#writing advice #commonplacing

[fandombandomfics]

Fates Intertwined (Noah Sebastian x F!Biker!Reader)

This work is entirely fictional involving real life people. Situation and feelings do not reflect the individuals involved in real life. Simply work of fiction and brain worm that came about after my aesthetic I made.

Tag list: @darkmxgician @jilliemiw86 @littlefoxkota

Chapter 2

A few days later, I text Noah to see if he wants to hang out. I wanna know more about him, like his job, his hobbies, his interests. Doesn’t help that he’s really cute. No no no Y/N no don’t think like that of him. As I wait for him to reply, I start to think of ideas for the next video. I look at my phone and see that Cleo is Facetiming me. I answer and set the phone down as I type on my laptop. 

“Hey girl,” I say 

“Hey girl what you up to?” She asks

“Not a whole lot, I texted Noah just waiting for him to get back to me,” I say and she smirks. 

“Noah and Y/N sitting in a tree,” She sings and I groan. 

“It’s not like that, we’re just friends,” I say and she laughs.

“Yeah for now,” She says and I shake my head. 

“We just met Cleo, we’ll just see where it goes,” I say 

“Anyways I have a date tonight,” She says 

“Ooo with who?” I ask 

“His name is Mason and he’s really sweet,” She says

“Picture of him,” I say. She shows me a picture of him and he is pretty cute, has lots of tattoos like Noah. 

“Oo he’s a cutie, if you guys work out see if he has any friends for me,” I say with a chuckle. She smiles and nods. 

“You got it sis,” She says. I see the notification that Noah texted me back. I pick up the phone and see what he says. 

Noah: just heading to the mall with the guys, wanna tag along? 

Me: sure let me just change and I will meet you guys there. Who is coming along anyways?

I see Noah is typing when Cleo grabs my attention again. 

“Earth to Y/N,” She says 

“Sorry Noah texted me. Going to the mall with him and his friends,” I say

“Ooo well I will let you go then. Have fun and don’t get murdered,” She says and I laugh. 

“Same goes for you Cleo,” I say and she laughs. 

“We have our locations so talk to you later,” She says and hangs up. I look back at my messages and see that Noah responded. 

Noah: Jolly, Davis, and both Nick’s 

Me: will meet you guys there in an hour 🙂

I change into appropriate clothes and grab my backpack and helmet. I text Noah that I am on my way to the mall and reeve up my bike. I make sure I have my film camera and regular one in case I wanna take pictures. As I drive to the mall, I play some Motionless in White through my bike speakers. As I drive to the mall, I wave at my fellow bikers and jam out to their music. As I wait at a red light I send a quick text to Noah that I’m about ten minutes away. As I pull up, I spot Noah and Davis out of the group and wave to them. They wave back and I park my bike and take off my helmet. I get off after switching the engine off and walk over to them. 

“Hey Noah hey Davis,” I say 

“Hey Y/N,” They say. I look at the three other men and the shorter one looks at me like he fell in love or something. The two taller ones chuckle at him and shake their heads. 

“I”m Jolly,” 

“Nick Ruffilo,” 

The last one to introduce himself to me finally snaps out of it and I giggle. Aww how cute 

“I’m Nick Folio,” 

“Nice to meet you guys, I’m Y/N,” I say with a smile. They smile back and we walk inside. 

Jolly’s POV 

When we walk in, I stay in the back with Noah. 

“Does she know we are in a band?” I ask him and he shakes his head. 

“I don’t think she does,” He says 

“Good, last thing you need is a fan to fall in love with you,” I say and he chuckles. 

“I mean fans already are? Besides she seems cool,” He says 

“Just don’t want you to get hurt man,” I say 

“I know dude, let’s just have fun and get to know her,” He says and walks towards the front to talk to her. 

“I know you don’t trust her Jolly, I don’t fully either but we need to see how this plays out before we make assumptions about her.” Davis says 

“You do have a point…ok I will give her a chance for Noah,” I say 

“We all will,” Davis says 

Let’s hope this doesn’t end in shambles

#bad omens #bad omens band #bad omens cult #noah sebastian #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian x biker!reader #biker #noah x biker!reader #bandom #ao3 fanfic #fanfic

[kitty-kitty-boomba]

Hi Honey! Welcome home!

omogomgomgomgomg-

AMAB! Sevika x Reader- BUT IN REVERSE

JUST HEAR ME OUT-

Also- this shit is long as hell. Like, I'm actually so sorry. P.S- I ran out of steam after I explain the situation, so respectfully? Writing is a tinie bit trash- But just a little! Also, no rlly proof-read sorryyyy

18+! MDNI

Please enjoy and let me know your thoughts!

Sevika and you have been married for four years now- and today would be your anniversary. You were actually celebrating being together for 10 yrs, your argument being that knowing each other as friends still counts. Sevika didn't care so as long as she had you, so she was all gun-ho for whatever you wanted as long as she got her "alone" time with you. Point is, you been planning for this day a lot. Like- for two weeks straight- a lot. Honestly, planning has never been this hard for you. Which is funny, because planning a wedding and the fattest after-party is no joke. For other people, what you were doing is arguably too much. But there is no such thing when it comes to your lil' mamma [i'm srry].

To break it down, you were going to spoil her like she spoils you. And thanks to her Ovulation days starting right in the first two days before the anniversary- you weren't going to have an issue fucking her stupid and taking charge for the night. That was your ultimate goal out of everything- but nobody knew that but you. [lies- Sevika knows. we'll get back to that.]

1st: You would start with Breakfast in bed and kisses. Give a massage if she likes. Really just seduce her, and mayybe give her a baby edible so she's near putty because otherwise, she'd spoil it for herself. After she got her mandatory cuddle session, you'd tell her you have to give your mom something. You'd send her off to hang with the kids a bit before stealing her- promising you wouldn't pass 5 o'clock because duh.

2nd: Literally everything else.

Thankfully, the two weeks was just you trying to see what Sevika wanted as a meal and not you picking out a theme to decorate with. Decoration was easy: Dim lighting via the fancy light switches you had Sevika install years ago, fake rose petals, real roses for the vases, regular candles for the dinning table, and a few vanilla scented candles for the bedroom. [your like for vanilla rubbed off on her. you didn't want kill more roses. you love roses, you like flowers in ur in vases and said vases are empty. you will be too busy fucking, you aren't burning the house down with candles]

Sevika- like the little shit she is- tried her damnedest to distract you from your spoiling mission, because of course she is. She acted all seductive and fucked you anywhere-anytime so you'd forget about whatever you had planned. The only way you got your answer was letting her fuck you until she collapsed. She could barley think straight, and while you weren't any better, you mumbled the ask just for her to say the dish you both have been eyeing for a while. You figured she'd want that, but you still wanted to make sure.

Secretly- at least that's what you thought, we'll get 2 that too- You shopped all the ingredients for it two days before. [You hid it in the Last Drop's fridge for a day before taking it back home. Vander, Silco, and Ran were Angels- Helping you by getting the kids to not mention the weird selection of groceries and keeping Sevika from opening it herself]

You also planned to get the homemade chocolate from her grandma's, Amelia: Yours and Sevika's favorite sweets of all time.

The last thing was dress up, which again, also wasn't hard. Sevika always dressed nice because she knows how much the little things mean to you. It was you who was freaking out on what to wear. You took to your mom, asking to get dressed at her house because you were worried Sevika would find the clothes. You wouldn't be wearing them long, but this was a semi-surprise so you were doing the grand reveal bit. You were torn between a dress like usual, or spicing things up and surprising your wife by matching her style a bit and wearing a suit. Ultimately- your mom silenced your worries by saying that Sevika would love to see you with a tailored suit on. She got you one as her anniversary gift. You just about cried.

3rd: Execute said planned and get fucked. That's it. Your not sure way you wrote that in the list- that's something that's literally impossible to not do with Sevika as your wife... But who cares?

During the planning, you were buttering Sevika up. From high-end Whiskey and Scotch, to flowers and chocolate, you were laying it on thick. You know it takes Sevika a minute to warm up to pampering- even if the minute was just her trying to distract you- so you happily continued and waited until she gave you nothing but a whine when you dissolved her into putty.

On the night before though- you had a mini-break down.

You did a facetime call with Amelia and your mom, out on your balcony trying to stop tearing up and keep your voice down as you voiced how nervous you were. Would the food come out good? Would it even come out at all? Would you burn it- or maybe do something else to mess it up? Could you even decorate and get dressed in time? Did you have to do hair, make up, and clothes before hand to cut down time? What if you sweat it all of or smell like steak! What if-!

They silence you quickly. They're helping you with the little things, so why not a bit more? They don't have nothing important for that day besides sending little gifts with you. So, you all agree to take a job. The food is meant to be cooked closer to when Sevika expected to be home, but if you got nervous, you could cook and Amelia would bud if you needed her and put everything in the oven to keep them fresh until they had to leave. Your mom would help decorate if necessary, and your hair will be the first thing done and pinned up in pin-curls so it would beautiful after you get dressed. Easy peasy- and if not- they'll make it happen for their favorite girl.

That helped more than you could ever say, and you slept real nice that night thanking the powers that the sleep aids you gave Sevika kept her sleepy so she wouldn't spoil anything. Little did you know, they weren't working for you.

Sevika had both them, Vander, Silco, and Ran recruited to keep you thinking you were being slick. She tricked you and picked the dish you wanted almost since the month started because she wanted you to enjoy the meal too- plus, that steak looked freaking amazing in the cookbook picture. The whole resistance to your pampering was Sevika being her beautiful self. She allows tons of things, but that type of love is hard for her to receive. So on top of watching you, she pampered you her own way by loving on you a lot more and giving you cash to spend. You kept saying you don't need it, but that shy smile and the blush blooming all over you was more than enough to keep it coming.

The smug sex-distraction part was improvised at first, because there was no way she could keep her hands off you for more than two seconds. But after it became clear it was working- Who is she to not take advantage?

So, as you planned- she planned.

She'd let you take it away, whatever decore you wanted, and anything else. She felt a bit bad for going behind your back after you spent time trying to make things perfect, so she transferred money into you account everyday and kept saying it was her "early anniversary gift". She didn't hear the conversation, but they called and told her the morning of that you were very excited, aka their way of saying her poor baby is stressed out. She was ready to tell everyone to spill the beans- but after all you've done, she really wanted to treat you.

And treat you she did.

Come the morning of, she lets do your thing, it was hard not too.

But after you do your whole spiel and send her off- both plans go into motion.

She did her everything shower, oiled up, and scented herself to the gods with that smokey, musky, amber/vanilla date-night scent you adore on her. After, she went to The Last Drop. Ran did Sevika's hair, nails [prosthetic too], and makeup, shit-talking and drinking with their best friend to calm her nerves. They even helped attach the new "skin" Sevika made for her arm, The smooth arm-like copper remined them of the one she made for her wedding day, just a bit less ornate. This is the most she's done since her wedding day, and a part of her felt completely ridiculous because she's long since forgotten how getting extra dressy felt. She doesn't understand what's become of her right now, but she feels to giddy to crush her sparking confidence- these red little almond nails looked too good.

She looked too good. If she says so herself.

Silco kept the kids upstairs with cartoon and an excessive amount of Amelia's chocolates- so it was up to Vander and Ran to keep that fire going and have their friend strut her shit for her special day. The eggs are taking over though, because while they give her a pep-talk that woman is thinking of all the positions to get that baby [lil' shit] that you've both wanted desperately [as of two months now].

A once over and Ran sends her off, telling another crappy joke and telling her not to forget to fluff her hair after she takes the rollers out. Sevika had two cups a liquid audacity that was more than enough to have her strutting the streets with her silk scarf covered head and her painted face. Everyone is looking at her in awe- only looking away when they realize that they're not worthy. If you were here with her, you'd stare at whoever even dared to look at her extremely wrong. She laughs to herself at that, causing some to flinch and scurry back to their little corner.

Because she timed it [and cus Amelia told her so], she went home to cook her gal a meal with an extra dessert planned...

She's shocked when the food comes banger and smells absolutely devine. You would love this, you'd be so proud- that's what she muses with, and her cunt certainly agrees if that clench was anything to go by. When she finishes frosting the cake, your mom calls her, letting her know that your dress and on your way. She laugh too herself for a good 2 mins, the idea of you dress up and fighting the steak hilarious to her. Thanking her for the heads-up, Sevika ends the call -covers the cake- and puts on the lace number, her thigh-highs and garter, and the dress.

Yes. A dress.

And fuck did she look smoking.

She did a once-over and applied more lipstick and perfume, before speeding back to the kitchen to grab the fancy bucket Silco gifted her on her wedding day. The champagne and towel looked professional, and she's three steps away from the table to finish setting it-

Then the door jingles.

She's about cumbusts right there on the damn spot [get it? I'm srry again]. Almost tossing the thing on the table and throwing herself to you- but she rehearsed this- she knows what to do.

Fucking focus Sevika Lanes!

You open the door and drop both the keys and chocolate on the little table by the door. She sauntered over so fucking proud, a nervous flash making your diamond nibble her lips before letting go. A sultry tone nearly silence by your horniess.

"Welcome home doll."

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Your eyes are everywhere. Where can you pick when everything's fucking delicious?

A black get up, there's no color besides a blood red on her lips. A fifties old money heart-throb is what your diamond is. Her hair falling just like that pretty hairstyle you see in the stereotypes, the one with a side part and covering her eye? Yeah. And the short hair was making things extra tempting. You smell her from here, you catch the teardrop pearl earrings and matching necklace you bought her decorating her skin. But that dress. The thing itself is velvet, a deep sweetheart with semi-thin halter strap making those pretty tits even more plush. You make her do a little spin, and it's low cut-out back too, the most sinful thing. The bottom of the dress is a problem. There's a slit, ending right atop her hip, the floor-length skirt making those legs damn delectable in your eyes. Fuck- is she using a garter belt to hold the tights? Oh shit, an actual- fuck- a garter touching your shit. Oh- heels.

You don't know you moved impossibly closer to her until Sevika nervously asks: "Uh- D-doll? Are y-you ok?"

Oh you just about take her on the damn door, but your nose catches something real nice behind her. Fuck- answer her!

"Oh. O-oh honey. Oh yes."

Your voice isn't above a whisper, your too in love to properly voice all the emotions you feel right now. All of them putting joy to shame. You hear her deflate almost, leaning into your open arms with a sigh, sucking in your scent when she realized you wore your signature: A soft floral scent, a bit of fruity coming through the hints of amber. It sound weird to say out loud to anyone- but it's so unequivocally you.

"Oh gods, good. I thought you'd be mad at me after all the work you went through to make things perfect..."

Her voice is shaky, not with tears thankfully, but with relief. She just keeps huffing you, just like she does when she needs to ground herself . You on the other hand? You are doing nothing wholesome, nor are you thinking it. You are acting very un-lady like, groping her ass and sniffing that scent that has you complete drugged. There's no way you could go through with this, not when her boobs touch your face. Not when she smell like this. Not when her hormones beg for your love. Not when-

"Doll- I want you to see something. Keep it in you pants a little longer? For me- MÍ Amor?"

This is when it clicks that's it taking everything in her to shimmy out of your grip. When you register that the thing your smelling is food and not only her arousal- You quickly nod your head and briskly let go like she burned you. It's that or your taking that slutty dress off. Mrs. Rabbit who?

She backs up, fixes herself and re-adjusts her hair, and takes you by the hand.

Oh gods: how beautiful she set this table. It looked fantastic.

You hoped you expressed as much as your mouth hung open in disbelief, then Sevika had the gall to hold her hands together Infront of her, nervous. How could she be nervous? Still, she nibbled on her lip waiting for you to say something.

And how she'd take anything to silence the ache in her chest. Gods, you looked entirely to good in that suit for her to continue with this dinner. Why do you always want to do these nice things? She needs to get railed ri-

"Diamond... This is beautiful. You did all of this?"

She give a little nod, her proud feeling making her all giddy and having her stand taller like she needed to correct her posture. You had a ridiculous smile probably, but you were so fucking amazed and proud of her, you didn't dare school your joy.

"Thihis is amazing love! Look at you being a lil' chef! You telling me you could do this all along?!"

She snorts a laugh, fully relieved that your happy and not disappointed that she ruined your surprised- but with relief comes something darker that's clouding 90% of her vison. You both know it.

Dinner's here- you're just missing the show. To redeem yourself you pull out her chair and have her sit down, pushing her in before running to your seat. Once your settled, you pour the champagne and give her the flute: Then she says, "Bueno Amor, open it. I hope you like it, I think I might have put bit to much pepper..."

=======

Anddd skiping to a blip of smut, I can't think rn- to much flustered. But know this- she brutal on the other side of the table and teasing you to no end. Horny she is- but she's making sure it ur problem. P.S- Sevika is bra-less, and ur telling me "girl- duh" but you don't get it. there's no pasties either, just pretty tities with nipples poking right through.

===SMUT====

Sevika doesn't know when you ever fucked her this hard. You're practically growling, and animalistic need taking you as you rail her harder each time like your thick 9 inches isn't stretching her to the brink of insanity. Oh- and how incredible that would be. Sevika can't fight it, she lost her ordering rights when she pushed you too far at the table. Even if you let her have a few seconds of control at the beginning. She's left trying to crawl away just for you to pull her back telling the nastiest thing in her ear.

"You think y' so fukin' funny huh? Wearing that skimpy thing, being a good lil' -hah- M-my good housewife 'nd not have may baby? But y' want that no? y'a want a lil' cake in there. Ya?"

And all she could do is sob through a moan, a babble trying to cuss you out as she begs you for more.

She gets that baby that night, but you make sure the next morning.

@archangeldyke-all- Hope you like?😭can't write rn- but hopfully you can do the dinner and the smut better?

Hopfully y'all enjoy too!!

kisssessssss

#sevika x reader #arcane sevika #sevika arcane #sevika

[squerlly]

Flames of Desire chapter 12: How Unfortunate ~

Alastor x (F! bunny reader) TW! violence, use of weapons, Vox being an insecure bitch, Angst

Alastors POV:

it's been two days since y/n has gone missing, I have searched every street, every hiding spot, and killed many people for even a hint of where she is but...nothing. Charlie and the others are worried sick, it's not helping the fact I told them I had this matter under control, but the more I come back empty handed the more I'm starting to doubt myself. I can't afford to lose the one good thing I have down in this wretched place, I need to find her I must find her...

my thoughts were short lived when my door busted open, with a growl I turned "Who dares to-" "There is a package for you downstairs" "Charlie can't it wait-" "It's about y/n!". I faze through the floor in a hurry, heading straight for vaggie who is holding a box in her hand with a frown. I snatch it from her hand and with no hesitation rip it open, ripping it open I see a cloth soaked in blood that smells like y/n with brown fur and a business card from Voxtek...

everyone backs away from me as symbols of my magic surround me, static emitting from me with a stare on my face that could kill. I turn my head a crack in my neck following "Angel" he flinches and looks at me "W-what" "You work at Valentino's studio correct!?" he nods and I walk up to him "That means you know your way around Vox's headquarters!" he nods again trying put distance between us "y-your not seriously gonna go in there...right?"

Charlie stands between us "Al maybe we should go with you-" "NO, this is a personal matter!!, excuse me I have some unfinished business to take care of" If Vox wants my attention well...he's got it now. with the snap of a finger, I teleport me an Angel in front of the Vees building "Navigate me through that building, you get y/n and I'll handle the rest"

your POV:

"That's enough Val" "Aww come off Voxy, we're just getting to the fun part~" As Valentino drops me I land on the floor with a loud thud, blood running down my chest from cuts and bruises. "we sent a nice message to your little Bambi, that will surely speed up his arrival~" "fuck you, you flat faced bi-" my head shoots to the side as I feel a sting from the hard slap Vox gave me "learn your place, you should be threatening me knowing your current situation!" "Alastor is gonna get here and he's gonna kill you-" "he's not gonna do shit! not when I have his bitch on a leash~"

the conversation is cut short when Valentino's phone goes off, answering it, it sounds like one of his studio managers. Valentino ends the call "he's here" he says with a grin "Perfect". Vox leaves the room Valentino following behind him, I let out a shaky breath followed by a wince from the pain. at this rate, I might faint just from blood loss, I have to hang in just a little longer....

Alastors POV:

entering the building I make quick work of the staff working on the first floor, Angel leaving to head upstairs for y/n. I intend to wipe every demon in this building, Vox has been getting on my nerves for far too long, and it's time I bring this to an end. I walk into the elevator going up to the second floor, the elevator opens and I see Valentino standing in the middle of the room, models and porn actors fleeing the scene. he holds one gun in each hand, angelic guns... "go on, take your best shot!" he points the guns at me with that golden toothed grin "With pleasure~"

your POV:

my head feels fuzzy, the room being relatively silent before I hear the sound of screams and gunshots. I sit up seeing the door open expecting Vox but it was.. "Angel!!!! y-your here" "damn babes ya look like shit!" he runs over to me, untying my restraints "Thank fuck your here, where is Alastor!!?" "he's downstairs in that shit show" He uses his bottom arms to help me stand, rushing me out of the room. "we need to get ya outta here, smiles is gonna tear down this whole building!"

we stood in the elevator heading down to the second floor, booking it out of the elevator were met with Vox. he held a gun in his hand, using it to hit Angel in the face making him fall to the floor and drop me "you're not going anywhere!" "oh, but I think we are" Behind him stands Alastor, covered in blood with black tentacles coming out of his back. his smile strained and hair puffed out with a gunshot wound in his right shoulder.

Vox grabs me by the hair causing Alastor to lunge forward to attack, but he stops...because Vox takes the angelic gun in his hand, holding it to my head. "that's right! you're not gonna touch me, I will blow her fucking head off!" "Alastor don't-" "SHUT UP!! you have destroyed everything!! you were supposed to be dead seven years ago!!" he then points the gun at Alastor "You've made a fool out of me, you killed VAL!!!" looking behind Alastor, a pool of blood smears the floor with nothing but a pink striped gun left... "hmm how unfortunate~ he did put up a good fight"

"I have worked my ass off!!! to build my company to where it is now, and I'm not going to have an outdated PRICK destroy it, you were supposed to join us but instead, you ran off with Lucifer's dumb bitch daughter, and her HoTeL for redemption!! so now, I'm going to kill you..."

"I would have never joined you, too lost in your own pompous shit technology that it's become your greatest weakness!!, the only person that would tear your company down is you, so eager to prove that you are better but you have flaws just like every other person!!"

Vox's grip tightens on my neck "Vox... ack- y-you don't have to do this!! we can help you-" "My brand is perfection! I don't need help from you!!" he cocks back the gun aiming it straight for Alastors head, but a split second before he shoots Angel tackles him to the floor. everything felt like it was in slow motion, a ring in my ears as the shot fires, Angel on the floor pinning Vox down. and as I turned my head my vision blurred, I saw Alastor fall to his knees... with a gunshot to his chest.

I quickly crawl over to him "Alastor!!!! No... no no NO! Come on get up, please... ALASTOR!!" hot tears fall down my cheeks as I shake his body, his breathing is light and uneven as he struggles to stay awake. Vox laughs, his screen glitching in and out, Angel grabs his phone calling Charlie. I applied pressure to the wounds trying to stop the bleeding, and within a few minutes Charlie arrived with a few other people.

vaggie tries to pry me off of Alastor as I scream not wanting to let go but having no strength to fight back, as I'm pulled away all of the exhaustion and stress got to me causing everything to go dark, passing out.

We're almost finished with the series guys!!! one more chapter to go and I can start up fair exchange!!! also sorry if Velvet is kind of absent in this story, I was going to give her a place but didn't end up doing so since she mostly was on the topic of extermination until the Hazbin production gives her a more important role. thank you guys for your patience and have a wonderful day/night!

-squerlly

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz

for more content and chapters please click this masterlist

#hazbin #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel

[marredmusings]

DENY PART TWO

ok i think i might make a series about my jj x reader x pope fic

also kind of dedicated to @starfxkr bc their blog gets me through the jj pope drought that is on tumblr (if you don't wanna be tagged i'll totally delete but i luv you even tho i don't know you

this isn't technically a part two but it's inspired by my previous fic deny

i'm hoping to maybe fully flesh out a whole mini story about them bc i love jj and pope so bad and i wanna kiss them both and have them kiss each other.

please send me prompts or if you have any ideas or you just wanna gush about jj and pope 💜

i'm a cancer, ok

you've always felt your emotions more deeply than others. you have a lot of feelings and it's not uncommon for you to start tearing up at random times throughout the day when you see something that elicits a strong feeling from you.

kie says it's because you're a cancer and while she's so true because you are the stereotypical emotional water sign, you're not sure how much of your mental state is because of your astrological sign or if you're genuinely a few screws loose in the head.

you remember hiccuping and sobbing into jjs shirt for the better part of half an hour- staining his sleeveless tee with your tears all because you saw a seagull missing a foot and he seemed to be running slower than his other seagull friends. your only relief from the obvious heartbreaking situation was jj softly murmuring comforting words in your ear, his strong arms around circled around your waist, your body snuggled onto his lap. the scene isn't uncommon for the pogues to see. the two of you have always been more affectionate than most.

all of this leads you to where you are now, curled up on your bed sobbing. soft sad music playing in the background making you sob even more. you put on a brave face with your friends but in the sanctuary of your own bed is where you can finally let your feelings free.

seeing pope and jj kiss hurt you more than you originally thought. your mind keeps replaying the scene of the two boys kiss, their lips moving together sensually, saliva being shared. you're sure that if you hadn't interrupted them, the kiss would lead to something more and involving less clothes.

hey google, play "that should be me" by justin bieber.

what if when they start dating they drop you? what if pope isn't comfortable with how touchy or affectionate you are with jj and he stops your cuddles or what if jj doesn't want you to hang out alone with pope because he knows you two kissed. what if they stop needing you because they have each other?

the thought makes a sob crawl up your throat and fat tears roll down your cheeks. you feel like your head is going to explode from how hard your crying. you need them like air, you felt like that even before you and pope kissed and before you realized you're in love with jj. you need them because they're your closest friends- they're the family you so desperately crave because your own doesn't care much for you and you're so scared if they start dating each other then they won't need you.

it's why you give out your love so freely, the feeling of being needed by people is something that is so deeply and inherently buried in your bones. when someone needs you and you can help them, it feels euphoric. a psychologist would probably have a field day with you because if you're not needed, what good are you?

----

"i'm really confused after our kiss" pope mumbles, nervous to look at jj in the eyes.

"good or bad confused" jj responds.

"is there such thing as good confusion?" pope asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "i didn't think i was gay or bi or whatever and yeah i think some dudes are hot but like i've never wanted to kiss them but i wanted to kiss you!! and then we kissed and it was like... nice but different and i couldn't help but think about gracie and how she and i kissed and how good that also felt and then i felt guilty and-"

"pope, take a breath" the maybank boy utters, effectively cutting off popes rambles.

"i liked kissing you pope. i never let myself be attracted to dudes but it's you, ya know?" jj continues.

"but i also understand wanting to kiss grace. i... well i want to kiss her too." he finally confesses. he's never said his feelings for his grace out loud before.

pope gently stumbles over to where the maybank boy is perched on his bed, he leans in to grab jjs fidgeting hands, grasping them in what he hopes is a comforting hold.

he leans forward so he can give jj a small peck on the cheek. reassuring him that they're ok, that they'll make it through whatever turmoil they're feeling right now.

jj grabs popes face and brings him in for a deeper kiss, lips and tongues touching. it makes jjs stomach burn with desire. after several minutes or maybe hours of kissing, he's not sure, pope reaches up and pulls on jjs soft blond tresses, tugging on the boys hair a little to pull him away from popes lips. they both let out little gasps when they disconnect.

"have you heard of polyamory?" pope asks jj... a shit eating grin on his lips.

---

giggling and kicking my feet. i love them 💜

#jj maybank #obx #outer banks #pope heyward #jj maybank x reader #my headcanons #jj maybank x oc #pope x reader x jj #pope heyward x reader #pope heyward x oc #my fic

[elffees]

How Fragile Allyship is Portrayed in Frontiers of Pandora

So I really love this audio log from Priya and needed to talk about it. This entire post will be based on this log.

Transcript:

"I ... it's Priya. Obviously. I don't know what day it is. Nothing makes sense... Alma's dead. Alma. Is. Dead.

Oh wow. That's weird. But you know what the really weird, screwy part is? There's this whole other Alma just walking around. Except she's not blue and she's got tiny eyes. Do we all have such tiny eyes? I just ... I feel like good Alma was killed. And we're left with this other one who everyone hates. But really it's the same person. Or is it?

I don't know what to think. I'm not really the one for existential crises, but this is a real brain-breaker. And I'm ... I'm sad. My friend died. No. No. She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right. I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She was protecting them. She tried. Right? Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure. And that other Alma... she wants to hang out, just like old times. But... she's not my friend. Not— I think I hear someone. Signing off."

This audio log can be found in the Resistance Hideout.

I really like this log because it encapsulates the different ways allies & marginalized peoples view and are affected by certain situations.

Disclaimer before I start: I am not saying Priya is a bad person, nor am I saying allies are bad people.

For starters, I can understand why Priya, and likely other Resistance members, have mixed feelings towards Alma. It's a very complex situation. So Priya regarding it as "weird" and being at a complete loss makes sense.

What I want to focus on in this post are the last 3 paragraphs. Where she expresses confusion and hurt because "Good Alma was murdered".

I think this right here is a very well written distinction on how allies and the marginalized communities they assist experience situations differently.

Alma's Reveal

Everyone had their worlds turned upside down when Alma confessed the full extent of her actions in TAP. Alma admits that her avatar was a tool for manipulation. Although she may care for the Sarentu children now, for the majority of their relationship, from the genocide, to TAP, to being frozen and left behind, Alma's avatar was a tool to manipulate and coerce Na'vi into viewing her (and by extension TAP, then later the Resistance) as "one of them". As someone to trust and relate to. The purpose of her having an avatar was to act as a golden ticket into Na'vi society.

Alma was not "murdered". There is no "good" or even "bad" Alma. There is only Alma.

The human who played a role in the massacre of a clan, then manipulated its survivors for years, then left them behind to remain in stasis for nearly 2 more decades.

Who is also the human who founded the Western Resistance and tried to band together several Na'vi clans to protect Pandora, who encouraged the Sarentu to reclaim their culture and customs the ones that didn't expose her ofc, and who helped rid Pandora of cackling narcissist John Mercer.

There is only ONE Alma that has done all of these things.

Alma was not "murdered". Her tool of manipulation was destroyed. The object, the mask, the weapon that gave Alma her power and confidence and that helped her fool not only the Sarentu, not only the Resistance, but also herself into thinking she was something she was not, was taken from her.

Alma was not murdered. She was thrust back into reality.

And so, Priya's last 3 paragraphs interest me. It's completely fine that she mourns the image of who she thought Alma was. In a way I think the Sarentu (sans Nor) do as well. Everyone thought Alma was just a good person who only wanted to help with no ulterior motives. It's painful to realize that was far from the case.

But then Priya goes on to hate Nor. She spits his name out like a curse. Glad he's gone because "he never liked them anyway". That he had no right to "murder" Alma because she only did a few "bad things".

There's a lot to unpack there.

Priya's Blaming of Nor & It's Ties to Fragile Allyship

I want to break down the lines one by one.

She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right.

For starters, it is EXTREMELY COMMON for allies of marginalized communities to "insert their two cents" on a delicate topic. More often than not when there is inter-community issues, allies have a tendency to say the phrase: "I'm [insert demographic] so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, BUT I think..." Any and all oppressed classes have heard this phrase from MILLIONS of allies before.

The FOP writers did remarkably well at capturing what allyship looks like when writing the Resistance. Because Priya, as a human formerly part of the oppressive group trying to wipe out the Na'vi and Pandoran wildlife, fully believes she can judge whether Nor had a right or not.

It's not her call.

She cannot determine whether Nor was justified or not because she, as someone part of the privileged class in the world of the game, has never suffered from the harm that Alma's avatar has caused.

She, and none of the Resistance members, were raised by Alma's avatar.

They were not lied to by Alma's avatar for YEARS about the true fate of their families and loved ones.

They were not encouraged to view Alma as a mother-figure or nurturing teacher or beloved caretaker, when she was actually just eager for fame and success.

They were not put into cryosleep and then left behind for 16 MORE YEARS with suspicions that this abandonment was an intentional coverup.

They did not suffer any of that.

They saw her as the leader of the Resistance and as a friend, which does cause an impactful betrayal of course, but Alma's avatar never tried to force them to see her as family. As someone to love.

While Priya only says all this in a private audio log and thankfully doesn't say it to any of the Sarentu or god forbid So'lek, these are her thoughts. The simple fact she believes she can judge Nor, that she has the capacity and authority to scold one of the main victims, is a reoccurring feature of privileged allies who struggle to realize that they cannot relate or ever fully understand how marginalized communities experience oppression.

Priya says Nor had "no right" to "murder" Alma. When truthfully, Priya has no right to judge how the Sarentu feel and respond.

I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

After Priya attempts to place judgement on Nor's actions, she then dives deeper.

She is glad Nor is gone. Not ONLY because of what he did to Alma's avatar. No. She is also glad he's gone because Nor was not friendly.

Another prime instance of fragile allyship is that allies tend to believe that marginalized people are only worth their sympathy if they're likeable.

This has a lot ties to the "Perfect Victim" concept.

Because Nor was not friendly, because his trauma caused him to distrust humans and he did not quickly get over it and befriend Resistance members, he is undeserving of as much sympathy as the other Sarentu.

It's seen as a positive that he's gone (despite the fact he ran away in clear emotional distress.) Not just because of what he did to Alma's avatar, but because now Priya and the Resistance no longer have to assist someone that's "ungrateful" and "not as nice" as they should be.

The purpose of being an ally is to help oppressed classes survive against circumstances that would otherwise have them discriminated against or have them dead. Being a truly good ally should not hinder on whether the person is "likeable" or "grateful" for their services. But sadly, in the real world, that is one of the most common "conditions" a LOT of allies have when it comes to offering support. How much they like the person or groups they claim to want to help.

Allyship is more often than not based on likeability, rather than morality.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She tried. Right?

Another feature of fragile allyship is the tendency to change sides.

Priya agrees that what Alma did was wrong. She understands that.

But because of the simple fact that Alma is human, Priya not only relates but tries to defend Alma's actions. Seeing herself in Alma is understandable because they are both human and were friends. The problem comes when Priya begins to project and defend Alma's actions.

It doesn't matter that by her own admission Alma's main goals were fame and achievement. It doesn't matter how much the Sarentu are hurt by her actions. It doesn't matter that Nor was outraged. It doesn't matter that even calm and collected Ri'nela was disgusted. It doesn't matter HOW the Sarentu, as the direct victims, feel about Alma's actions. It doesn't matter that intent ≠ impact.

Alma is human like Priya, so from Priya's POV, Alma's 'intentions' hold more value than how the Sarentu were impacted. "We're" trying to help. Alma was trying to help. So her actions can't have been that bad. Right?

Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure.

And finally, this is another feature of how allies tend to respond to things.

Of the two, Mercer is the one who unabashedly committed the massacre and oppressed the Sarentu for years. Mercer is "the bad one" because his actions are overt. They are clear cut, obvious, and maniacally evil.

When real world marginalized groups face microaggressions or covert prejudice, allies have a tendency to step in and defend the offender. "Hm, I don't think that was racist." "Are you sure that's homophobic?" "It's just a word. I don't see how it can be ableist to say." - "It's not like it's really hurting anyone."

When oppression is not as clear cut to allies, they tend to dismiss it entirely. It doesn't matter how the victims feel about the situation. As discussed earlier in the post, allies tend to think they have the authority and capability to make judgements on prejudice they do not face, and ergo believe they can determine how "bad" something really is. Better than the marginalized class can themselves.

In Priya's eyes, Alma is better than Mercer because Mercer's oppression was harsh yelling, explosions, and murder. "Mercer's the bad one" while Alma was "only trying to help."

But in truth, both Mercer and Alma have done and continued to do harmful things. They both played a part in the decimation and continued manipulation of the Sarentu. Both for their own selfish purposes.

Oppression has many faces. It does not always look the same, it is not always a mustache twirling villain. It can be subtle and quiet. It can be hidden behind gentle eyes and smiles. It can be from "good intentions" just as easily as it comes from "bad intentions". It can be subconscious, it can be self aware, it can be secretive, it can be out in the open. It can be many things. There is not only "one bad" style.

Oppression is just as diverse as the communities it aims to harm.

Conclusion

I want to reiterate that I do not dislike Priya and this post isn't a hate campaign against her. I know many dudebros in the fanbase unfairly criticize her.

The point of this post is to applaud the FOP writers. It is very rare when mainstream media is able to accurately depict how fragile allyship is. Priya's reaction to Nor stabbing Alma's avatar is painfully realistic to the many ways allies have reacted to certain situations in the real world.

This is one of the many reasons why I love this game and feel it hits home. Not only can I relate to the Na'vi clans, but my god can I relate to the way allies are written in relation to them. And I feel like this audio log from Priya, while brief and easily missable, is one of the prime moments of realism this game portrays really well.

#it's such a minor audio log / note #but it really hit me and i just had to talk abt it #frontiers of pandora #avatar frontiers of pandora #afop #priya chen #alma cortez #lexi plays afop #long text post // #long post // #sorry lol

[winchesterwild78]

Chance Meeting pt 20

Chance Meeting Master list

18+ Minors DO NOT interact

Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t take or copy it.

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety, pregnancy, SMUT, tension

A/N: lots of things happening in this chapter. Our lovebirds are moving forward with their lives and Ashley is hanging over their heads still. I edited this quickly, so please overlook any errors.

———————————————————————

About a month later you and Jensen were waiting to hear back from the police and his attorney about Ashley and the baby. Since the incident that landed you in the hospital you haven’t heard from her and she’s not been around. You were cautiously optimistic you wouldn’t hear from her.

Jensen insisted you two moved forward with the wedding plans. “Y/N I want nothing more than to marry you. I don’t want her to cast a shadow over our relationship and our marriage. Let’s set a date and start planning.” He said taking your hand. You smiled and shook your head yes. He cupped your face and kissed you softly.

“You know the area better than I do, where would you want to have the wedding” you asked him. “Honestly if you’re okay with it I was thinking the brewery. It has plenty of space and the area is beautiful. We can have the ceremony outside and the reception inside.” He said with a little hesitation. “It’s your choice though. I don’t care where we get married as long as I get to marry you.” He said with a smile. “Honey, it’s not just my choice. This is OUR wedding and I want us both to make the important decisions” you said kissing his lips. “So, has the brewery ever hosted a wedding before” you asked. “No, but it’s something we’ve always wanted to do.” Jensen said looking at you. “Well, let’s do it then. Our wedding being there will be a perfect opportunity to show how beautiful a wedding there could be. I’m sure people will try to book it for their wedding before we can even say I do.” You said laughing.

“I swear you’re an angel, Y/N. Even though this is our wedding you’re still thinking about other people’s happiness and livelihood. I love you so much.” Jensen said kissing your lips. “I love you too baby” you said.

So what time of year were you thinking” you asked. “How about tomorrow” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Well since it’s going to be outside I say we have it closer to Fall so it will be a bit cooler.” You said. “How about the day we met in October? What about October 12th” he said. “That’s perfect and we will never forget the date” you said winking at him. It was mid February so you felt like you had plenty of time to plan. You also were hoping the baby situation would be resolved before then. “So now all that’s left for us to do is tell our families we’ve set a date and start planning. I hope Gen can help as much as possible” you said. “Babe, is this gonna be a suit and tie kinda wedding or nice shirt and slacks” Jensen asked. “I think more casual and laid back. I have a dress idea in mind so that would fit perfectly with the theme. You can wear a simple shirt and slacks. No need to wear a suit and be uncomfortable.” You said laying your head on his shoulder. “I love that idea sweetheart. Keeping it laid back and comfortable is going to be so great.” He said.

You started texting family and friends letting them know you’ve set a date. Gen offered to help with anything you needed. As you’re texting Jensen’s phone rang. He answered it and you could tell from his end of the conversation it was his attorney. “Yes, oh that’s great. Yeah I can be there soon. Okay, yeah. See you then” he said before he hung up. You looked at him and he looked a little nervous. “So they have Ashley in custody and they have the DNA from the baby. They need me down at the hospital to give a DNA sample to see if I’m the father.” He said looked at you. Your heart was beating fast and panic started rising through your body. You spoke softly “okay. Go to the hospital so we can find out if the baby is yours or not. We need to know no matter the outcome.” You looked at him and tears pricked your eyes. You knew he didn’t betray you, but this situation still hurt. Jensen walked over to you and pulled you into his strong arms. Rubbing your back he kissed your head. “I love you so much, and whatever the outcome that’s not going to change it. Come with me please.” He said as he kissed you. You nodded yes and started to get ready to leave.

You sent Gen a text to let her know what was going on. She told you she’d meet you at the hospital if you needed her and you said you were fine, but thank you. The ride to the hospital was quiet. Tension crackling in the air. Jensen was nervous. His leg kept bouncing as he drove. You just stared out the window trying not to cry. Jensen pulled into the hospital and parked. He took your hand and held you as the two of you walked in the hospital. His attorney met you two at the entrance and took you to the lab. Once in the lab they swabbed the inside of his cheek gathering as much DNA as they could. The lab technician told Jensen there was a rush put on the test and the results should be back in a few hours. Jensen thanked them and walked out.

You stood and he took your hand. “They said it should be a few hours before we know.” He said walking out with you. “Okay, hopefully we hear something soon.” You said nervously. “Is she still here at the hospital” you asked his attorney. “Yeah, she has to stay for observation after the procedure for at least a night. She’s guarded so she’s not going anywhere.” The attorney said. “Jensen, I want to go talk to her.” You said looking at him. “Are you sure” he asked you. You nodded yes. He asked his attorney if it was okay and he said he didn’t see why not. The three of you returned to the hospital and you rode the elevator to the floor she was on.

Stepping off the elevator your stomach was doing flips. You were nervous but you needed to speak to her. Jensen held your hand as you approached the door. The police officer and Jensen’s attorney talked for a second and then they motioned you towards them. “You ready sweetheart” Jensen asked walking towards the door. You shook your head yes. Jensen pushed open the door and you heard the fetal monitor and heard the rapid heartbeat of the baby. A lump formed in your throat.

Ashley looked up and saw Jensen first. “Oh my god. You came back to me. I knew you loved me and you would do the right thing” she said smiling at him. Then you stepped out from behind him. Her eyes narrowed and she hissed “what the hell is she doing here”. “I’m here to talk to you. Jensen and I have talked and if this baby is his then he will step up and be there for him. Any decisions about him will be left up to the both of you. However, you will have to respect me as his wife and our family. I will respect you as the baby’s mother, but you will not try to put a wedge between Jensen and I. It’s not going to work. If you can’t respect that then we will have no choice but to set up a visitation arrangement where someone else brings the child to Jensen.” You told her standing between her and Jensen. You weren’t going to let her intimidate you.

She huffed at you and said fine. Ashley looked at Jensen and said “hey Jens do you want to feel him kick” You cringed when she called him Jens. He looked at her and then at you. “Honey if you want to you can. It’s fine” you said offering him a soft smile. “Ashley, I think it’s better if I don’t. I want to know if the child is mine before I start getting involved” Jensen said looking at her. You thought to yourself “oh thank god”. You felt horrible for thinking it, but the thought of him touching her made you sick to your stomach. She pouted but didn’t push him.

“Honey, we need to leave. We’ve got plans tonight” you said wrapping your arm around his. He leaned in and kissed your head. “We will talk to you later Ashley. Once we get the results we’ll be in touch” you said looking at her. “Have a good night and get some rest” Jensen said. “Bye Jens. We love you” She said rubbing her belly. You gripped his arm tightly and walked towards the door.

Once outside the room you let out the breath you had been holding. Jensen pulled you into his arms and held you tight. You sobbed. So overwhelmed with seeing her, hearing the heartbeat and scared the baby is his. The possibility seemed to be better than you thought. You were scared. Even though he said it wouldn’t change anything you knew it would. You would have to put up with the woman who assaulted you for the sake of the child. You wanted her out of your lives. Now it seemed like she was there for the rest of your lives.

Once you calmed down you and Jensen left the hospital and headed home. The drive home was quiet. Jensen nervously bit his lip and you sat staring out the window. When you got home you both walked the house and kicked off your shoes. You both collapsed on the couch. Jensen took you in his arms and you laid your head on his chest. “We’re going to get through this together baby. I promise. I love you and I intend on spending the rest of my life showing you how much I do.” He kissed your lips. First it was soft and gentle. Then he kissed you deeply and the kiss became more passionate.

His hands tugged at the hem of your shirt and then under it. You gasped at his touch. His hands roamed up and over your breasts. He pulled your bra down and rolled your nipple between his fingers. Your head flew backwards and you let out a loud moan.

You helped him remove your shirt and he unhooked your bra exposing your breasts to the chilly air. He removed his shirt and you straddled him. You moved your hips down onto him. Jensen’s hands ran down your back and pulled you into a kiss. As he pulled away he bit your bottom lip. You moaned. You stood and removed your pants and soaking wet panties. Jensen removed his pants and boxers exposing his hard cock. You bit your bottom lip as you looked at him. You straddled him again and used a hand to help guide him through your folds. You slowly slid down his shaft as you felt yourself stretching around him. Jensen and you moaned as you pushed down all the way. You put your hands on the back of his neck and he dug his fingers into your hips. You began bouncing up and down taking him in as deep as you could. The sounds of moaning and flesh hitting flesh filled the air. Jensen quickly turned and laid you on the couch and began thrusting deeper into you. You reached your hand between you and Jensen and started rubbing your clit. You felt the coil tightening and your walls clenching around Jensen. His thrusts got deep and fast helping you chase your release. “Jens I’m close” you panted out. “I know darlin, I am too. Cum for me” he said as he quickened his pace. Your walls clenched as you came hard. Jensen followed you and came deep inside. Grunts and moans echoed through the house. As you both came down from your high Jensen got up and grabbed a washcloth to clean you both up. He laid beside you on the couch and kissed you softly.

“I love you Y/N” Jensen whispered. “I love you too, Jensen” you said as you snuggled into his arms. Being in his arms you felt safe and truly loved. Jensen grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and covered the both of you. He started rubbing your back as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. You breathed in taking in his intoxicating smell. You both sighed softly and you giggled a little. Jensen smiled.

Jensen pulled you as close as he could and the two of you laid in the comfortable silence that fell in the house. You closed your eyes starting to drift off to sleep when the silence was broken by the ringing of the phone. Jensen growled and pulled you close. You giggled “babe you need to answer your phone. It could be important”. He sighed and sat up grabbing his phone. He looked at the caller ID and shot you a look. The look sent a flood of panic through you. You sat up pulling the blanket over your body. Jensen answered the phone. “Yes this is he. Okay. Yes I understand. Okay, so it’s accurate. Right, will you let the attorneys involved know.” His end of the conversation instantly told you the results were in. His face was stone. No emotion and no indication of what the results were. Your heart beat so fast you heard it thumping in your ears. You felt nauseous and a lump formed in your throat watching him. Jensen thanked the person on the phone and hung up. Your y/c/e eyes met his and he bit his lip. “Um, that was the lab. The DNA results are back.” He said looking at you. You tried to study his expression but he was unreadable. You took his hand and said “Jens, remember we are in this together. Whatever the results we will deal with this together.” You said on the verge of tears. Jensen took a deep breath “the results are….

To be continued………

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @nescaveckwriter @kr804573 @jensengirl83 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373

#hes gorgeous #jensen ackles x plus size reader #so damn sexy #jensen ackles #supernatural convention #chance meeting #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles x reader #jackles

[izzyspussy]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know! #or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water'' #or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me'' #etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain. #absolutely fucking exhausting

[616nightcrawler]

i feel like i see posts like this so much and it's kind of weird bc this applies only to like. a very specific subset of people (ppl who are into phineas and ferb + aware of the "two nickels" thing being repostet a lot) which is like. a subset of people in a fairly specific age range (the right age to have watched phineas and ferb so like. idk 15 - 30 year olds probably being generous) AND are active on specific social media platforms to have seen this joke repeated a lot so it burrows into their memory bc most people who just casually watched phineas and ferb aren't that likely to remember this specific moment (i know i didn't without the meme). and idk this is not a big deal i just find it interesting how often people online will post about something that is extremely specific to them and the social circles they move in as if it's a really universal experience

#im def thinking about this too deeply but i see this a lot w very online young people #even where they'll be like 'omg everyone in gen Z is like THIS' and its like #no not everyone in your generation is a certain way it's just that #you don't really interact with people outside of your specific circles #be it online or physical #like online you probably algorythmically get promoted things that confirm your world view bc that is the things you're interested in #so you get a sort of feedback loop of people in your same age range #who get promoted similar content based on age and browsing habits #and you're not gonna really break out of that unless you really look for it #and physically you hang out with your friends who have the same interests as you and are likely in similar economical and social situations #and are likely at your school or uni so you're in really similar situations #its even happened to me bc back in the day i never liked using twitter but my friends who were on twitter were really confused when #i didn't get the 'twitter idioms' even though we move in similar circles i just hadn't been introduced to things specifically popular on tw #twitter #so things that seemed universal to them were completely new to me #and the other way around too where i think smth is extremely generally well known but people i talk to have no idea what's up #my sister who's two years older than me probably doesn't even remember phineas and ferb that well just bc she wasn't that into cartoons #idk. all that to say. #your experiences are not universal #the life and times of brows