#organization but also chaos and prank pulling

[skitariiposting]

A rant about roleplaying and taking advice from goblin eratta

Look, look, I get it. D&D is famous for its goblins and whatnot. But trust me when I say, pathfinder goblins are so much better art wise and writing wise than D&D's.

For example:

This is the D&D monster manual illustration for goblins.

Firstly, orange, chunky, this guy's has the aura of "might attempt tactics" about him. He looks more like he'd try and throttle you rather than run in fear at the sight of a large sword. The head is oddly shaped as a goblin's head should be, but it looks more lumpy warrior face than gobliny. The armor is far too organized. The ears are droopy and smooth. This is not goblin, this is a small ork at best.

Yeah they've got a brief section explaining the hobgoblins and bugbear relations, a little bit about goblin language, but not much as far as flavor text.

Now pathfinder goblins...

These are the quintessential goblin.

Green, scrawny, cowardly, chaotic, looks like they scrounge their clothes from local landfills, oblong football head, big ol' perky pointy goblin ears; *chefs kiss* perfection.

Pair that with the tidbits of goblin lore from pathfinder and ough you've got something good going on.

They are afraid of and have a burning hatred for horses. They typically wield 'horse choppers,' basically big cleavers or axes, instead of daggers or shortswords like in D&D.

One of the few occasions they'll organize and come up with plans is if they're pulling pranks or massive attacks under the command of a warlord or leader, of which they will occasionally get on accident.

They don't have to be bound to a leader, though, sometimes goblin bands can manage just with cooperation alone.

Goblins are crafty little buggers, laying traps and building ramshackle contraptions to get the jump on their foes. They prefer going for sneak attacks or surprise attacks over head on combat. They know they can't win a fair fight, so they fight unfair.

If you invade a goblin dwelling, they'll usually retreat on sight, but not always because of cowardice. Sometimes, they do so to lead you into their traps or to get you into a bottleneck. They can come up with strategies, but usually only if it's below the belt and breaks all the rules of engagement.

War crimes and chaos, if they aren't committing one of the two, they must be defective goblins.

There are occasions in the pathfinder modules where it encourages the DM to have the goblins get into antics over attacking the players. One such example is during a fight at a festival, it reccomends having some of the goblins focus on the festival food over the potential threat of the player characters, since they'd find the food much more important.

Some I came up with include swinging from ropes and attempting to grab players' hats, hoods or helmets, having some attempt to crawl into the clothes of the players instead of attacking, or even just crawling and wallowing all over them like opossum babies. My personal favorite and what got a huge laugh out of my players was having one find a big cast-iron stew pot and putting it on its head. It made it blind, but it also gave it more armor, making it sort of run at the characters to attack but not being able to hit them because it couldnt see, and the swords and maces bouncing off the pot due to the additional armor made it difficult to kill him. Pair that with the constant deafening the goblin would endure with the "bong" sounds any impacts would make, causing it to panic and run around more, bumping into walls and people alike.

What I love about these little tidbits of fight modifications is that it exemplifies the "combat doesn't mean roleplaying is over" factor many players and DM's either have never considered or just miss entirely. Many people complained that "man, if only combat in D&D was like the movie," and to that, I say: it can be, if you stopped being boring and made it that way! Describe what your character does! Add flavor to it! An action is 6 seconds. You can do so much in six seconds while still attacking! Describe the actions you take! Take free actions to do little flairs or flourishes! Show off! Fight with elegance, fight with brutality, fight with conniving, fight with confidence! Spend an action doing something in character instead of attacking! Yes, it's not efficient, but it's more interesting and entertaining to take a fall for a storytelling moment instead of spending yet another turn attacking. Flawed moments are far more interesting than constant perfection, that's why you use dice instead of always having a nat20 every turn. Use the failures to your advantage, show how your character reacts to a bad situation or rough luck!

Don't just spend the time in between your turns waiting for yours to roll around. Instead, be planning the sick ass thing you'll do if the dice allow you to, or the reaction to the adversity if they don't! And, sometimes, break away from the "I swing my sword, I cast a spell, I eldritch blast" combat! Push enemies off of elevations with the push action! Flip a table over to get cover from spells and ranged attacks!Grapple them to make it easier for your team mates to hit them or use them as a human shield! Grab a big rock off the ground and chuck it at someone! Cast a spell that doesn't just do damage!

Broke:

"You shoot a fireball at the thief as he attempts to escape."

Woke:

"As the the thief runs, I go to launch the fireball at him, but notice the mirror to the left of me. My narcisim gets the better of me, and I end up taking a second to check my hair. Ah yes, dashing. Oh, wait, I was doing something. I manage to tear myself away from the mirror long enough to barely catch the thief in my fireball as he attempts to flee."

So, I say all that to say this: players and Dms alike, roleplay during combat! It's a roleplaying game, not a roleplaying game+formulaic tabletop war game any time there's combat. And hey, if you ever find yourself needing inspiration on how to make fights more interesting in your tabletop games, grab a couple low level modules off Paizo, and read up on Pathfinder goblin scenes, they pay extreme dividends.

#skitposting #dungeons and dragons #d&d #pathfinder #goblins #roleplaying advice #roleplaying #dm advice #player advice

[kankuroplease]

He's such an underrated character and SO fun to do alt designs of!! What are your fave ships for Kankuro? I've always been partial to KankuSaku, had this headcanon for forever that he developed a crush on her after she saved him from Sasori's poison. Like, he was in and out of consciousness when she was extracting the poison from his blood and organs and he kept seeing her face above him....... like some sort of determined pink angel lolllll

I’m a hardcore KankuKiba shipper because the chaos of those two together is just so appealing to me. However, Kanks is also one of those characters I ship around a lot as he just works with so many characters, I’m open to most ships with him. However some of my faves are;

KankuSaku - it’s cute and easy to build off of~

KankuNaru - dating your brother’s first friend risky business and the pranks would be epic

KankuIno - he’s a bit of a prankster and honestly him draping himself over a counter with a rose in his mouth would be something that would happen

KankuOmoi - Omoi’s worries would make a whole lot of sense with Kanks as a boyfriend

KankuTen - someone said this and I was like “why the heck didn’t I think of that”. Not only are they vibing on similar (but not too similar) wavelengths, but between his puppets and her weapons; they could make some sick mods to the preexisting ones or a whole new army

KankuHina - it’s cute, also gets Hinata to stretch her wings and chose a different path while bonding over strict dad’s/not living up to their younger siblings. Also feels like it could go super angsty

KankuShika - hear me out, there’s a lot of tropes here and Shikamaru would be able to pull one of my favorite lines “only I can call him an idiot” 👩‍🍳💋

KankuHanabi - if they made it canon, I’d believe it wholeheartedly. Like I can see them drinking together when him and gaara are visiting Konoha and it just hitting him like a sack of bricks that this wild Hyuga might be the one

KankuSui - honestly, they would try to kill each other with any slight disagreement, but really what’s water bf gonna do to him in Suna? March along the hot desert with Kankuro tracking him with a spair water bottle. That’s what

#ask #kankuro of the sand #kankuro #you say ‘kanks and ___’ and I’m listening 👀

[nikoisanidiot]

Explaining my AU||Background Info and The Creeps

The Creeps are a group of killers outcast from society that lurk in the woods of Denver, Colorado. In my au, some creeps live together in cabins, while others live completely alone, secluded basically(for good reason). The Creeps don't exactly have a boss. Slenderman/Operator is a sentient being the creeps are trying to find more out about because boy oh boy does that being cause chaos. The main 3 proxies are Tim, Brian and Toby. These are the three usually leading hunts for the Operator or giving out commands for solo missions. The creeps don't kill at random, but that being said, the more unhinged, otherworldly do kill at random. The unhinged include EJ, LJ, Candypop, and Kagekao. Though rare they do, it's only random people that wander a little too close to the cabins they inhabit. Onto the creeps!(I will be doing more details for each individual in the future, but this is just a general look into the character.)

Eyeless Jack- 26 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Died by sacrifice. Jack prefers to go by just Jack but when there's two Jacks in the group, it's hard to refer to him as just "Jack", as LJ and EJ would get mixed up a lot. Jack is a medic, and does a lot of the repairs for the team. He likes to be alone, and often the others stay away from him, mainly cause they are scared of the man. EJ does have a separate room in his cabin(he lives alone) where he does all his operations, like fixing up Jeff for the millionth time that week. He also does all his organ harvesting in there. Jeff Woods- 22 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Jeff(or better known a Jeff The Killer) is a 22 year old Hispanic man. He was acquired by the team when he was found lurking alone in the woods after killing his own family(all except is brother, Liu Woods). Jack is the "strongman" of the team, carrying a lot of brute strength and weird patterns of behaviour. Jeff lives in a cabin with one of the other creeps he gets along with. He live's with BEN. BEN- 19 yrs old||Goes by he/they/it||Died by sacrifice. BEN is a nerd, I'm throwing that on the table right away. He's a computer nerd and does most of the tech stuff the creeps need to have done. BEN is probably the least social guy you will ever fucking meet, he often stays in his room and doesn't come out for hours at a time, busy on his devices or doing something for the team. Toby Rogers- 20 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Toby is one of the three men that leads the team on hunts/missions for the operator. He isn't immature but also isn't mature either. When it comes to living with people, he live's alone. He's not fond of newcomers, and certain creeps. He doesn't like Jeff all that much, or Tim. Mainly cause Tim and Toby just butt heads a lot. Toby has CIPA, tourettes, and PTSD. All three of these illnesses are dangerous to his mental health and physical health, but he's coping. Toby is an alcoholic in my AU.

Sally Williams- 14 yrs old||Goes by she/they||Died by murder. Sally is a spunky girl, she's very sweet and love's to pull pranks on the creeps. Many of them love her, as she grew up with them. Sally carries around a stuffed animal bear. While she's not fond of killing and rarely ever does, she does like to scare adults, play with kids and learn what being a teen is all about.

Jane Richardson- 24 yrs old||Goes by she/her||Isn't dead. Jane Richardson isn't a creep, getting that off my chest right now. She is a lone assassin killer looking for Jeffery Woods after he killed her family, alongside his own. Jane is a lesbian and her favourite thing on a woman are their hands. Hands tell a story, and she love's stories. She can be cold towards those around her but is mostly sweet to them. Jane is a romantic-goth!

Tim Wright- 29 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Tim is kind of an asshat sometimes and is also really sweet at the same time. He's the head of the creeps, self titled with Brian. He is a leader, has that personality. This man does have DID and Schizophrenia. Tim is the only one who has come close to the operator and has severe night terrors over the haunting image that was the operator. Cigarette addict(Trying to still keep this a little accurate). But overall? Nice guy who is just tryna survive.

Brian Thompson- 28 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Brian is a bit of a secluded guy who only really interacts with Tim, sometimes EJ if he's felling up to the task. But more often then not, he's alone in his room. He and Tim share a cabin. Brian likes guns, he prefers them. They are easier to handle. Note about Tim, Toby and Brian. Tim, Toby and Brian all look the most human, so typically, these three are the ones who go into town to get supplies for the others. Like food, water, clothing, shoes, new weapons, ect. Toby usually wears a mask over his mouth to hide his scar, he looks human, other than that.

These are just a few pasta's for now!

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta fandom #jane the killer #marble hornets tim #tim wright #brian thomas #mh masky #hoodie mh #eyeless jack #jeff woods #jeff the killer #sally williams #ticci toby #toby rogers #ben drowned #ben creepypasta #creepypasta au #slenderman #the operator

[anadorablekiwi]

What are your OC's favorite pastimes? What hobbies do they like to do or do they have any hidden talents?

Oooooo thats an excellent question. Since you didnt specify, im sticking with the chaos chain cuz i got lotsa ocs

Fair warning its late so thisll be chaotic and probably long so under the cut it goes

In no particular order (welcome to adhd lol):

Lupus loves reading most, especially sappy romance books about the hero of legend. He also loves hanging out in his bookstore (which doesn’t sell books but does rent them and is also like a library i guess?), organizing the shelves, and napping in his wolf form. His hidden talent is being an adorable fluffy wolf doggo

Harp likes playing the lyre, or exploring. Her not so hidden talent is singing and worrying Scholar, her Link. She also loves hearing Scholar read to her

Dragon’s also not so hidden talent is simping for his girlfriend/Zelda, Aurum. And being short but stronk. He likes petting his cat and caring for weapons (like polishing and cleaning and stuffs)

Eli likes experimenting with potions, reading when she has the attention span, archery practice, and crocheting. Her hidden talent is being shockingly bad at self care despite being the person making sure the others self care

Picori loves filling his free time with sassing Lumen, rambling about things he likes such as the minish, and exploring. And (mostly harmless) pranks. His hidden talent is becoming a minish himself

Lumen likes sassing everyone, teasing Lupus, and exploring (surprise surprise lol). He likes to pull pranks with picori, and on picori, and getting Lupus to infodumo about literally anything or tell stories about his (Lupus’s) adventure. Lumen’s hidden talent is night vision (glows to creatures of light like fairies and blupees), and enabling chaos

#kiwis ocs #chaos chain #kiwi answers #ladye my sweet #this is helpful because it forces me to further develop the characters so ty #not to mention i get to talk about the blorbos #and avoid going to sleep #i suck at characterization i feel like im doing it wrong for my own ocs ;-; #this is also why i write mostly ocs

[bobmckenzie]

🌽🥧🎉🎃 for Louis!! —CCFM

omg thank you for the q's Sabrina!! I had so much fun answering these :'D (Also I'm loving your Halloween decor on your pinned post! 🧡)

🌽 You and your F/O solve a corn maze together. Would you like to go during the day or at night? Do either of you get lost? Does anything strange happen?

oh we are 1000% getting lost 💀 neither of us is very outdoorsy or great with directions LOL, and a corn maze is the perfect place for some paranormal shenanigans to happen! I can definitely see us getting separated thanks to some ghosts messing with us 😭

🥧 You and your F/O bake a pie together. What kind of pie is it? Who's idea was it? Is it an orderly affair, or chaos in the kitchen? How's the pie turn out?

ahh I can just imagine I offhandedly mention how I've only had pecan pie once but I loved it, and so Louis surprises me by getting a recipe and buying all the ingredients for us to make one together :'D I feel like, while Louis is organized in other aspects of life, he tends to make a mess in the kitchen LOL. he definitely doesn't MEAN to, he just can't help it, especially since he's a bit of a klutz :') BUT he's really good at following a recipe, measuring out ingredients and everything, dividing the tasks between us, so I think it would turn out pretty good!!

🎉 You and your F/O have to throw a Halloween party. What kind of decorations do you put up? Are there movies? Music? Snacks? Pranks? Anyone special the two of you invite?

omg okay i love the way this question is phrased bc it makes it seem like we were roped into it, and I can TOTALLY imagine Peter just randomly asking us to pull some sort of party at the firehouse together on short notice and everything 💀 and we'd be a little peeved at him for not helping and not giving us more time to prepare lol, so we would absolutely get Slimer in on some kind of silly prank on Peter 😌 Louis and I both love getting a good deal (even if it's on Peter's credit card LOL) so we would be running around to all the different stores trying to find the best price on decorations and snacks! since the guys have to deal with scary stuff on a daily basis, I think we'd go for sillier/cuter decorations, lots of jack-o-lantern themed stuff and cutesy ghosts 👻 For music, we'd probably hire a DJ, and of course I'd be inviting my bandmates, so we could always do a quick set too!! If there was time we could write a fun, spooky song, and at least learn some halloween-suited songs, like Dead Man's Party, Thriller, and Psycho Killer :D And of course, knowing how the episodes of the show usually go, this party would almost certainly be crashed by real ghosts LOL

🎃 It's Halloween night! How do you and your F/O celebrate? Do you decide you're not too old to to trick-or-treating? Go to a party? Or stay at home and do something else?

SO while I love the idea of attending a ghostbusters party at the firehouse, there's one episode of TRGB where Louis watches his nephew Lawrence on his birthday and throws this big party bc Lawrence's parents WENT ON VACATION ON HIS BIRTHDAY... so I'm sure this sort of thing happens a lot. I can imagine one year he has no one to take him trick or treating bc his parents went to a party or something, so Louis and I would absolutely step in!! We'd try our hardest to make sure he had fun :')

#these q's SOOO made me want to write some autumn stuff with Louis 😭🧡 #ask #louistag

[cloudninetonine]

*walks on in tiredly while utilizing high heels, stares at the chaos, shrugs, offers you tea then sits down with biscuits to watch the world burn* I have zero context about what I just walked into, but darn it if it ain't entertaining after a long week of bull, hope y'all are doing good and getting enough rest plus doing good today! May existence treat you decently.

I would honestly feed you more mythological lore right now but it's unfortunately the middle of a storm with lightning and my brain is tired, so maybe in another ask, but a fun little factoid here: Cú Chulainn once broke a divine sword made by the gods themselves after using it precisely two times, so I personally find it funny if the reason Fi breaks down in TOTK is because Fia/Seraph pushed her too much and didn't take her to a smith before he died and then she just ended up in Wild's hands which wasn't any better, unintentional and probably not a true parallel but just thought I'd share. Plus an excerpt of what he looked like during the Riastrad according to Thomas Kinsella's Tain:

"The first warp-spasm seized Cúchulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front... On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child... he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn't probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram's fleece reached his mouth from his throat... The hair of his head twisted like the tangle of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage."

Just some fun facts.

Lora fic is 45% complete, song of choice is under wraps but I can send in an excerpt when it's not storming outside?

Player's Newly Gifted Wolf Vs Wolfie for the role of best doggo, fight! That or the wolf and horse are immediately Player's besties and help them get up to shenanigans, Legend being overly suspicious? Horse pushes him down with their head and the wolf walks on by at the precisely convenient time, Player wants to play a prank on Wild? Wolf is there as a distraction while the horse helps Player get away with the promise of sneaking them meat bits during dinner, plus I can see Seraph/Fia just LOSING it in the afterlife. On another note, Seraph/Fia noticing neither Wild nor Hyrule are teaching Player how to handle weapons, sighs and immediately goes "Fine I'll do it myself" by pulling a Hero's Shade and teaching them whenever they're in fairly isolated areas, look he respects their view and approves of it, but he also was a Gladiator and had to kill his shield brother so I feel like him teaching anyone self defense is a must, next time Dink comes by the Chain he just gets immediately shanked by Player who at least learned how to use daggers efficiently, or throws down hand to hand with Dink on the ground while Seraph is practically hollering proud comments like a coach or something, or lends them a bit of his strength/magic in a semi-Riastrad state temporarily to help, idk I'm tired, might dive into it later.

Also I have discovered what's arguably a rare Link variant, and that'd be Sir Raven aka Legend's Ancestor, double agent hero of Labrymna from the OOA Manga and Time's descendentant

My sleep deprived self personally thinks it's important more people know he exists.

Something something, au where everything is the same but Player is a Herscherr, or more aptly has a Herscherr personality that's either more like HoV or HoS from Honkai, or au where Player is basically Shin Shin Yuseung from ORV. I only have half an idea how that would work, but let's just say Dink would have a bad day either way, FD would probably be intrigued and First and Sky would once again be divine bait.

Anyway that will be that for today, hope you're having a nice time of the day and existence!

-A Very Awkward and Tired Summertime Musician.

HI SUM I HOPE EVERYTHING ON YOUR END IS OKAY NOW!

Also SIR RAVEN I LOVE HIM

He's such a handsome man.

The idea that the reason Wild breaks weapons so much is passed down from Fia/Seraph makes me cackle- like ancestor like descendant I guess OIBDEWOICEI.

ALSO HERO'S SAHDE SERAPH TYPE BEAT I LOVE IT- sure he's gotta deal with Player screaming the first time they see him but it's a very enlightening experience seeing someone dead in your dreams so mans just gotta suck it up. At least Player gets to shank Dink, that's all they care about.

Wolf and Horse duo! We love to see it! Player's little buddy with too much sharp teeth and the horse who people wish wasn't a predator! Their main focus being Player is cute too.

I'm not very informative about Honkai, other than what my friend has info dumped on me but I do slightly remember a herscherr so good luck with that Dink OHBEOIEO

#cloud answers

[beautiful-is-boring]

Hellooo! Happy Holi!! So I have this brilliant idea. As you know today's holi in India so like having gojo for Holi would just be hajgkejc.

He already is menace to society and add this spice of color to it. Yk how we play Holi like I have strong feeling that he will destroy and just color all of the people with like permanent color or like silver grease paint it would be a mess.

If you have Holi in idea yk how chaotic it is.

I belive like you have introduce it to him at first but then you will regret having him in on it. But if your like me who loves to cause chaos you will just join. Honestly I who too.

If you know what bhang is yk he is gonna try it I am a firm beliver that will only last 2 glasses of it.

He would also prank everyone like if you two love chaos you would just gang up on your opponents and just rub the color in their faces.

I think he is one of the people who doesn't enjoy suing herbal color since they don't last long and just shred of yk.

Like after playing I'm sure he is going to have like colorful hair since of the white and like him whole dace covered with different colors while is still pouring coloured water on your head.

I also think that will pull on of those stunts where you just grab you partner and throw them into coloured water or just come from behind and just cover them with like those pakka rang.

Afte washing up he is 100 perc. Going to have colourful hands and like some of the colour won't come of his face while both of you have like purple or pink color on you hands and faces.

Adfjskdj he would definitely dance on dj with you I think like this song just slapsss.

im so late but dude i sooo agree with you rn

Gojo would be THE most chaotic person out there. He would totally throw water balloons at every body and no body is safe. Not even you. You, your parents, your friends, your friend's friends, everybody is at his mercy.

If yall know about his cursed technique and jujutsu stuff then he would totally abuse his teleportation powers to smear colour on your face lol

Colour stains on clothes and face and hands is a universal experience lol. oRgAnIc wAsHaBlE cOlOuR mY aSs

BALAM PICHKARI JO TUNE MUJHE MARI TO SEEDHI SADHI CHORI SHARABI HO GAYI HA JEANS PEHENKE JO TUNE MARA THUMKA TOH LATHOO PADOSAN KI BHABHI HO GAYI >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

#himani's inbox

[vithcy]

Camp halfblood t-shirts variation where instead of the pegasus they have a symbol according to their godly parent/cabin. i.e a child of Demeter

#organization but also chaos and prank pulling #stfu vithcy

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Trick or Treat

The next A Very Bouncey Halloween installment and a belated birthday gift to my darling @veritasrose. Thank you so much for the last year of friendship, I look forward to celebrating with you again. <3 you are much loved.

tw: curses, Geralt is an idiot, competent Jaskier

---

Light flashes through the room and momentarily blinds Jaskier, who stumbles back against Geralt. He mumbles an apology to the ever-sturdy Witcher as he waits for his vision to return and when he blinks clearly for the first time after a few long moments, the bard feels utterly and totally confused by the scene unfolding before him.

The Duke’s grandest ballroom, which had been bustling with excitable party guests only moments ago, is now flooded with ghouls, ghosts, vampires, and monsters of all sorts. A woman with swan’s wings is huddled in one corner, squawking angrily at anyone who tries to draw near. A minotaur stumbles through the center of the dance floor, lowing in frustration as he tries to control his bulky limbs. Two werewolves wrestle for dominance atop the furthest banquet table to their left. As Jaskier takes it all in, he feels Geralt’s hands wrap suddenly around his bicep; the Witcher is clinging to Jaskier fiercely, leaning his not insignificant weight against the bard’s side as his eyes grow round and watery.

“What’s happening?” Geralt finally asks. His tone of voice seems breathy and high, filled with a terror - almost totally foreign to Jaskier’s ears. Geralt fears nothing and yet… “Let’s get away from this dreadful place, please!”

“Aren’t you going to try and solve this problem?” Jaskier asks, glancing at his companion. He gestures at the various monsters roaming freely past the buffet table. “You’re likely the nearest Witcher, after all.”

“I’m no Witcher,” Geralt declares. He splays a hand over the very center of his blue velvet doublet (a nearly perfect imitation of the way Jaskier reacts to a perceived offense). “I am a Count. Witchers are dirty things, not meant for such a public life as my own.”

“For fuck’s sake, Geralt, now is not the time for a prank of this nature,” Jaskier huffs. “Something is clearly going on here. We need to help these people!”

“I know something is wrong,” Geralt sniffles - fucking sniffles - and squeezes the bard’s upper arm even more tightly. The sound of Geralt crying shakes Jaskier into understanding, even as Geralt begs: “But I don’t know how to help! Please get me out of here, Milord, I’m scared.”

Milord? Jaskier mouths to himself, even as he wraps one comforting arm around Geralt’s waist and ushers him away from the growing chaos at the center of the ballroom. Jaskier hurries them down one suspiciously empty hallway after another until he reaches the small suite that he had accepted as payment for his performance at the party. Jaskier ushers Geralt inside and locks the heavy oak door behind them.

“My Lord Geralt,” he gets the not-quite-Witcher’s attention. “Do you mind taking a seat by the fire for now? I’ll be right with you as soon as the room is secure, and then we can figure out what’s going on and what to do from here.”

“Yes, Milord,” Geralt nods. He hurries to comply with Jaskier’s request, to the bard’s continuing shock and awe, and stays still and quiet as Jaskier removes his doublet and rolls up his sleeves. Using the strength he’s spent twelve years at Geralt’s side developing, Jaskier shoves a bookcase, a dresser, and an unfortunately designed roll-top desk in front of the locked doors for added protection.

Moving behind Geralt with practiced efficiency, Jaskier also closes, shutters, and locks every window in the room, pulling the curtains closed to keep any light from spilling out and alerting stray creatures of their presence.

When he’s finished locking down all of their room’s possible entrances and breathing hard from exertion, Jaskier tugs the Witcher’s xenovox from his bag and flips it open, waiting with bated breath until Yennefer’s irritated voice snaps: “What do you want, Geralt?”

“Who is that?!” Geralt cries from his place near the fire. He has a white-knuckle grip on the overstuffed armchair he’s perched in and his clothing is mussed; Jaskier motions for him to be quiet and Geralt bites his lip, worrying the soft pink skin between his unusually dull canines.

“Was that Geralt?” Yennefer asks. "Did Jaskier summon me?"

“Yes and yes,” Jaskier replies. “I think he’s been cursed or enchanted or something. I was hired to play at the Duke of Rinde’s All Hallow’s Eve celebration and Geralt accompanied me - even dressed up for the occasion - but something happened at the party and now he’s acting strangely. I don’t know what to do.”

"What's happening?" Yennefer prods.

"Geralt is acting rather out of sorts. He’s speaking strangely, he wanted to flee the party rather than investigate the source of the changes-”

“What changes?”

“Everyone sort of… Well, a good portion of the party guests suddenly transformed into their costumes,” Jaskier explains, his speech stunted by his disbelief. “I know it sounds incredible, and it was! One moment we were all enjoying the music and the next… there was a minotaur and a mermaid and a faun… Geralt went nearly mute and started clinging to my arm like some sort of aristocratic maiden!”

“Oh shit,” Yen groans.

“Who is that?” Geralt repeats. Jaskier continues to ignore his companion. He knows that the moment he turns his attention to caring for Geralt, he won’t be able to tear it away again, and he needs to finish this conversation with Yennefer first.

“Why are you swearing?” he asks the sorceress. “What is it?”

“Geralt asked me for advice about this stupid ball a few days ago, while you were busy making arrangements with the Duke. He wanted to impress you with his All Hallow’s Eve costume and prove that he could be just as fancy and well-mannered as all the other men of your status.”

“Why in the world would Geralt want to dress up and act like a nobleman? It makes no sense! He detests small talk, he hates vanity, and he finds most men of my station to be cowardly and overly delicate - myself included! I just- I don’t quite understand why he’d go through all of this just to impress me. Or why he thinks this kind of thing would be impressive in the first place.”

“Jaskier, please tell me that you aren’t as stupid as our mutually beloved Witcher…”

Jaskier considers for a moment, pondering the things that he does to impress Geralt: gathering wood, learning to cook with game meat, preparing the Witcher’s potion ingredients while he's out on hunts, organizing their packs when they're spiking camp, brushing Roach’s mane… Realization dawns suddenly and all at once. He has a moment of pure understanding, a moment much beloved by every poet, bard, and playwright across the Continent: “Oh.”

Yennefer gives a tired laugh. “Yeah.”

“So he’s stuck as… a noble?”

“I suppose,” she sighs. “I’ll portal you to my location and we can figure things out in peace. Get your things together, I’ll open it up in precisely five minutes.”

“What’s happening!?” Geralt demands. Jaskier pulls the Witcher/Count to his feet and bows shallowly.

“I am Jaskier Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. I will be your protector and chaperone for the foreseeable future, Your Lordship,” Jaskier bows shallowly. “I’m going to gather our things together and then we are going to meet up with a very lovely sorceress, Yennefer of Vengerberg.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

Jaskier barely manages to hide his surprise at Geralt’s utter lack of recognition. His memories of Yennefer have also been taken, then.

“She’s a mutual friend.”

“Are you my friend?”

“I would like to think so,” Jaskier smiles. Geralt remains oblivious to the bard’s heartache, even as he curls himself against Jaskier. He tucks his face against Jaskier’s shoulder and sobs quietly. The bard runs his hands comfortingly up and down Geralt’s spine for a long, soothing moment. The smooth, royal-blue velvet tickles his fingertips. “Shh, dear heart. I’ve got you. Everything will be alright, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Geralt whispers.

Just as Jaskier is about to reply, Yennefer’s portal snaps open in the center of the room. Jaskier hands Geralt a set of bags and hauls his own over his shoulder. “Time to go, Your Lordship. Just take one little step…”

---

“Do you know who I am?” Yennefer asks. Geralt shakes his head before burying his face in the back of Jaskier’s shoulder-blade.

“I’m so frightened, Milord.”

Frightened? Milord? Yennefer mouths. Jaskier shrugs nearly imperceptibly and makes a panicked gesture in the Witcher’s general direction.

“I don’t know what to do either!”

“Well, start from the beginning. Tell me what happened at the party before all of… this.”

Jaskier recounts every detail he can remember in the most straightforward way possible, momentarily renouncing his poetic skills in favor of efficiency - for Geralt’s sake, of course, not Yennefer’s. When he's finished he asks: “And you said he did all of this to impress me?”

“Yes.”

“But why?” Jaskier repeats his earlier question. Yennefer understands that his meaning is different; Jaskier understands that Geralt is interested in him romantically, but the bard can't seem to get it through his head that Geralt has deemed him worthy. Although, knowing the Witcher, he isn't even sure how to go about doing such a thing in the first place.

"I just... I don’t quite believe you," he adds.

“He loves you,” Yennefer reiterates. "And now he’s stuck like this until the effects of the spell wear off, so I suggest you take his precious Lordship to one of my spare rooms and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll see you both for breakfast, providing the magic is null and void by then.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“I hope you enjoy small talk, you bardic bastard.”

Yennefer smirks and disappears from the room in a whirl of black and white silk, the scents of lilac and gooseberry curling through the air in her wake.

Geralt clings to Jaskier’s bicep again as the exhausted bard stands, keeping his larger body pressed against the human’s side as if Jaskier is the one who wields the Witcher’s swords. “So I’m under a spell?”

“Yes, darling.”

“At least I have you here to protect me, Jaskier. You’re so brave and strong; my hero!”

“It’s usually the other way around, dear heart, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now, how about we find a comfortable place to bed down for the night, Milord?”

"Alright."

Jaskier moves Geralt's hand so that it's curled around the inside of his elbow, the proper etiquette for a platonic escort, and leads him quickly down the long hallways of Yennefer's sprawling manor house. He chooses the blue-themed bedroom at the back of the East Wing, far from the sorceress' own suite of rooms.

He has to help Geralt change out of his lordly costume, the Witcher-turned-Count fumbling uselessly at the laces and buttons as if he'd never seen a fastening before in his life. Geralt whispers shyly as Jaskier pulls a nightshirt over his head: "Thank you again, Milord Jaskier. I feel as if I can't help but continue indebting myself to you."

"Think nothing of it, dear heart," Jaskier smiles, ignoring the pang in his chest. "I am happy to help you."

Jaskier tucks Geralt into bed before changing into his own nightclothes, tossing his things back into their travel bags as he swaps outfits. He feels Geralt tense up when he sits on the edge of the bed and his eyebrows narrow in concern.

"Are you alright, Geralt?"

"Are you going to share a bed with me?"

"Would you rather I didn't?" Jaskier answers with a question of his own.

"I... I wouldn't mind it if we shared."

Jaskier wishes he had Witcher sight, so he could catch a glimpse of the blush no doubt attempting to stain the Witcher's face. Despite the mutagens, Geralt's face still went pale pink when he encountered a strong emotion. It was adorable. And incredibly rare.

As soon as he pulls the covers over his chest, Geralt glues himself to Jaskier's side, snuggling close. "Feels safer," he says in lieu of explanation.

"Goodnight, dear heart."

"Goodnight."

---

"Fuck," Geralt groans, sitting up in bed. Jaskier sits up beside him, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Good morning, Milord," he teases.

"Shut up," Geralt groans. Jaskier does get to see him blush this time, and the bard revels in it; he would trade all the gold in the world to see Geralt flush like this. "I can't believe I cried on you!"

"It was rather adorable, actually."

"Hmm."

"Still..." Jaskier reaches out, tentative, and cups Geralt's cheek with his palm. He turns the Witcher's face and locks their gazes together, blue meeting gold. "Still, I think I prefer you as you are. My big, strong Witcher who cares so much about defending the little guy. Willing to step in and help wherever and whenever he can."

Geralt's eyes get a little glassy and he leans forward, pausing and letting Jaskier make the final decision. The bard meets him halfway, pressing his lips against Geralt's without any sense of urgency at all. It's warm and sweet, time fading away as they let their feelings pour through this one simple gesture. When they pull apart again, Geralt gives a surprised, lopsided smile. "Oh."

#geraskier #geraskier fluff #a very bouncey halloween #geraskier first kiss #geraskier and buffy #btvs au #geraskier fluff and silliness #curses #cursed geralt #nobleman geralt #yennefer was there #bamf jaskier #competent jaskier

[lunarifie]

The hollow dynamics

Kai, Mira, Adam, Vanessa, Reeve, Skeet: The chaos squad. Could plan a murder and execute it perfectly but something at the end would mess it all up. Has each others backs for anything.

Kai, Mira, Adam: Platonic Mom and Dad co-parenting their prone to pyromania friend.

Vanessa, Reeve, Skeet: The cool kids™, starring mean girl, doesn’t give a shit, and skater boy.

Kai and Vanessa: Bisexual pure of heart, dumb of ass. And lesbian. “Why do you like girls?” “Boobs.” “Same.” Tech and parental issues buddies.

Adam and Kai: Reels in the dumbass but is secretly also a dumbass. The dumbass. Both stupidly self sacrificial. Smart apart, dumb together.

Mira and Reeve: The responsible ones. Has to deal with the groups bullshit. Sometimes joins the bullshit. Reeve usually starts the bullshit and Mira has to clean the bullshit.

Mira and Skeet: Childhood besties. Have nostalgic moments together. “Hey remember when-!” Both vibe with nature in different ways.

Adam and Vanessa: MLM and WLW solidarity/hostility. “You like men? Ew. Could not be me.” “You see I would make a retort if it wouldn’t be inherently sexist.”

Adam and Reeve: The ‘people assume we hate each other when they meet us’ dynamic. Joke insult each other. “I hate you,” “awww I hate you too.” “Go fuck yourself.”

Skeet and Kai: dumbasses with same sense of humor. Constant vine refrences. Jokes that no one gets. Sends each other memes at midnight. High five anytime they conjoin on a joke.

Mira and Adam: Best friends for life. Inside jokes. Can understand each other with their eyes, they have full on conversations just by looks. Trust each other 100%. Would die before they tell a secret the other has.

Vanessa and Mira: Girl talk time. Multiple sleepovers. “I’m so glad there’s finally another girl in the group.” Really nice to each other. Hypes the other up.

Reeve and Skeet: Chill buddies, always just hanging out. Very calm and relaxed. “Hey lets hang out sometime!”-Does nothing but sit and chat in their rooms.

Reeve and Kai: They’re either extremely chaotic or super chill no in between. Stoic, calm, and anxiety ridden ball of sunshine dynamic. Pull the sickest pranks.

Vanessa and Skeet: They’re just here to have a fun time. No bad vibes. Good vibes only. Gossip all. The. Time. “Did you hear what this girl in our class said?-” “Get. Out.”

Kai and Mira: Little bro and big sis. Mom friend of the group but takes care of Kai the most.“No Kai- Stop that is your 10th monster drink you won't be able to sleep tonight.” “Jokes on you I never sleep.”

Adam and Skeet: Dude bros. “Dude.” “My man.” “My best bro.” Is said constantly. Both know how to skateboard. Go to person if they wanna hang out at the skate park.

Vanessa and Reeve: The official mean girls. They are so mean for no reason to each other and then extremely nice the next. It's all in good fun though. Chew gum obnoxiously in unison. Could organize a crime.

#the hollow #The hollow netflix #the hollow kai #the hollow skeet #the hollow mira #the hollow vanessa #the hollow adam #the hollow reeve #th kai #th skeet #th mira #th vanessa #th reeve #th adam #rant post

[iamnmbr3]

Hm. So I really desperately want the Loki show to be good but I saw a new interview with the writer and I have to say. Some of it really concerned me.

"Taking an organisation that is so soul-crushing by-the-book, so to speak, in their managing of time and dropping the most chaotic character in all of the MCU smack-dab in the middle of that is just amazing juxtaposition". 

Really? Name one prank Loki has ever pulled on screen.

The issue here is that Loki isn’t the most chaotic character in the MCU. By any stretch the imagination. This interview seems to have conflated comics!Loki and MCU!Loki, even though they are quite different characters. Even the most cursory watch of Thor 2011 and TDW should reveal that. When in the MCU has Loki’s motivation ever been about chaos or pranks??!

In Thor 2011 he was simmering with very legitimate hurt and resentment (neither of which have anything to do with chaos OR pranks!) but what ultimately drove him to action was the extremely valid fear that Thor would start a war. He used trickery not for fun but to try to delay Thor’s coronation and thus forestall violence. Things don’t go as planned, resulting in the unravelling of his life and culminating in his SUICIDE ATTEMPT at the end of the movie.

In The Avengers he is being mind controlled and forced to conquer earth. His truer self wants to escape Thanos who has been torturing him. In TDW he wants to escape the horrific prison he has been confined in, alone for all eternity and also to avenge his mother. (I think there is compelling evidence that he also is planning to die in combat because he doesn’t want to return to prison and prefers death). In Ragnarok his motivations include avoiding Thor’s rage, escaping the clutches of the Grandmaster (a terrifyingly powerful being who vastly outclasses him in terms of raw power), and protecting the Asgardian people. 

Even Thor is more chaotic than Loki in the MCU. He tends to charge into things without always thinking first, and is far more mercurial. Think of how he started a war over an insult in Thor 1, or how he initially attacked the Avengers. The actual agents of chaos and wacky hijinks in the MCU tho are neither Thor nor Loki, but rather the Guardians of the Galaxy. Maybe the Loki writers watched the Guardians movies by mistake? (Pro tip: if the character speaking looks like a raccoon, it’s not Loki.

Loki stabbing Laufey according to this interview: “it was just a prank bro!”

“Loki is proper and pompous, Owen is folksy and down-to-earth – so right away, energies clash in a way that’s harmonious.”

Um??!? Ok first off. Owen Wilson = real person. Loki = fictional character. So it's weird to juxtapose them, but I’m going to assume he meant to say “Mobius.” Also ??! Loki is...neither of those things? This quote sounds like what would happen if someone who had never been to the UK or seen the Loki films looked up "what is a stereotype about British people?" and just made that Loki's character. 

All the tremendous nuance and depth and complexity and pathos of Loki’s character, and what they come up with is the generic “pompous and proper”??Also, the incorrect assessments of Loki’s character aren’t even consistent. How can he be both an agent of chaos AND super prim and proper?! Those things are contradictory. 

And seriously. WHEN is Loki pompous and proper? Is this referring to Loki’s speaking style? He uses the same Asgardian speaking style that Thor uses. It’s more formal in Thor 2011, Avengers, and Thor: The Dark World, and a little more casual in Ragnarok because of a change in writing style. (Though even in Ragnarok while they speak more casually they never use earth slang like “gonna” or “crap.”)

Anyone who had seen Thor 2011 would remember that THOR was the arrogant and pompous one at the beginning of the movie, and that this was meant to contrast with Loki who was very quiet and internalized and repressed. Loki’s whole origin story happened because no one listened to or respected him so he resorted to desperate measures to achieve what he believed was right (the prevention of a war!) and then had a mental breakdown due to the way circumstances unfolded. 

And, yes Loki carries himself like royalty. But that’s not because he’s pompous. It’s because he IS royalty. He's literally a prince! Loki doesn’t have a high opinion of himself at all. One of his major issues is that he’s consumed by self-hatred. This again feels like they’ve conflated comics!Loki and MCU!Loki. 

It’s weird that I have yet to see any of the show writers talk about even 1 aspect of Loki's character that they like or find sympathetic or interesting or emotionally compelling. 

(Also. Mobius is a bureaucrat who works for a heartless organization that murders people for the slightest show of noncompliance. And he apparently doesn’t care that Loki was tortured by Thanos. That doesn’t make him “folksy” or “down-to-earth.” It makes him complicit in atrocities.)

"and my goal from day one was to tell a story of Loki that had never been told before"

This again ties back into Disney’s bizarre new positioning that this show is the first time Loki has been out of his comfort zone, which utterly ignores the fact that in his every appearance so far Loki’s story has been defined by lack of control. Loki being in the power of people who use him, lie to him, mistreat him, threaten him, gaslight him, and/or scapegoat him is hardly new. It’s what’s been happening to him in every movie. 

#I really hope im wrong and they deal with his character respectfully and well. this interview in the context of the questionable trailers #has me worried... #Loki #loki tv series #Marvel #MCU #loki series #loki show #loki 2021 #do I need to tag #loki tv series negativity #? #random musings

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ya know, I truly hope Miss Renesmee Carlie Cullen fully dedicates herself to just....being as out there and iconic as possible

first things first- ANYTHING with the loch ness monster on it, she owns. Posters, shirts, jackets, shoes, folders, buttons, iron-ons, there is always at least 5 pieces of Nessie merch on her at all times

once she gets old enough to start high school, the cover story is her and Edward are siblings that Carlisle and Esme took in, and sometimes her classmates will ask her what her biological parents were like and she will flat out be like 'oh, they're vampires' and Edward and Bella are like. 5 feet away trying not to scream

every Halloween she'll show up to school in an elaborate Nosferatu costume

goes out of her way to photobomb people in increasingly ridiculous ways so there will Always be a photographic record of her and in like 100 years she can get a huge kick out of teens on the internet trying to make a conspiracy about her

joins as many school clubs as she can, even if she has no interest in them- she just Really wants a concrete record of herself to exist lmao

ICONIC at school theater though. One of those demon theater kids that come to rehearsal purely to cause chaos and nothing else, but her voice is incredible so she secures every lead. One time she somehow managed to star in a show while also playing in the school band for it- her classmates still have no idea how she pulled it off

Always brings blood out in public in a CLEAR THERMOS and it stresses her family out so much but everyone else thinks she's just like, weirdly into tomato juice so the Cullens can't stop her

to everyone's surprise...her biggest chaos enabler is Jasper lmao. everyone thought he'd be a logical, responsible uncle but they're just. A Problem together. He'll 100% assist her in any prank she wants to pull, he gets her fake id's when she wants to sneak into a club with friends, he bails her out of jail without telling her parents, they figured out if she gets high and he reads her feelings he'll get high too and it's. So fucking funny.

she's always carrying some random instrument around school- like for a while it's a guitar or a harmonica, fine, but then she'll start lugging a cello around, a tuba (she doesn't even play, she stole it off a guy who was annoying her) and it escalates until one day she's wheeling a piano around the building. no one's even sure how she got in in the doors of the school. She keeps running kids over in the hallway with it

You know the Catherine Tate Lauren Cooper skit with David Tennant? Where she's being a terrible student and then perfectly recites Shakespeare? 100% Nessie

when she starts getting dates Jacob keeps trying to wing man and be over supportive and give her a ton of girl advice and it's embarrassing as hell so one day when he was on a spiel about How To Woo A Lady she looks him in the eyes and goes 'oh really? did that work on my mom?' and the Cullens fucking LOSE IT. Jacob had to go live in the woods for a few days because he couldn't cope

Emmet and Jasper: arrive to school in their jeep. Rose and Alice: arrive in a convertible. Edward: arrives in his dumb volvo. Bella and Jake: arrive to school on motorcycles. Nessie: arrives to school on a unicycle while juggling

one year she ended up getting nominated for prom queen and Edward read the minds of the teachers tallying the votes so he knew she won and he and Bella were so excited!! they're like we're gonna take so many pictures of our baby looking like a princess! And then she emerges from her room, actually drenched in pigs blood. Like she just did it to herself and went to the dance and accepted her crown like that

she regularly commits crimes against fashion. If she comes out of her room and sees Alice contemplating turning herself over to the Volturi, she KNOWS she's picked a great look

somehow gets ahold of Aro's cell number and sends him selfies of her blatantly breaking vampire laws captioned 'whatcha gonna do'. he keeps blocking her but she keeps managing to get through to him somehow

she illegally sells soda out of her locker and does people's homework for cash, while also paying other people to do her homework for her. she organizes every single senior prank. she's never gotten a detention in her whole immortal life because every teacher just Adores her for some reason

had 100% used her powers for deserved evil before. Like, if someone's being a dick at school, she'll sneak into their room at night and give them nightmarea threatening them to be a better person lol

sometimes she'll show up at the hospital unannounced and ask Carlisle, in front of his coworkers, 'yo can I raid the blood bank?'

her bedroom looks like a library. every wall, floor to ceiling books.

she's been publishing trashy romance novels under a fake name for almost 40 years now and no one in her family knows

one birthday Jacob takes her on a trip to vegas and they get wasted, at some point they were laughing about how ridiculous their lives are and they're like 'wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if we had a baby'. they then black out, hangover style, and wake up like a week later with a payment on her card to a fertility clinic. Jacob's like 😱 and Ness is just like 'you get to be the one to explain this to my parents'

Their kid is absolutely hilarious, they were correct, and at some point they realized 'wait...drinks blood..doesn't sparkle...can shape shift...we've somehow created a classic pop culture vampire' lmao

Edward had to threaten them to get them to not name the kid Vladimir

Also to be clear: Nessie and Jacob have the EXACT same dynamic as Will and Grace. that's canon.

says its her goal to star in a live action all female production of mamma mia and Carlisle is like 'honey you know you can't do anything on broadway or in hollywood' and she's like, 'no, in real life. I'm gonna go to greece and attract a bunch of women with abba songs' and he's like,,,,,ah

she loves all music but she goes out of her way to Only play stuff she knows Edward hates lmao

one day she remembers she doesn't need to breathe and can see under water and just. books herself a ticket to scotland and Finds The Loch Ness Monster

she actually personally finds a lot of monsters and cryptids like her hybrid aura just attracts all kind of weird shit and she LOVES it. She stops writing trashy romance novels and starts writing autobiographies of her traveling and hanging out with paranormal beings and everyone just assumes its fiction so she becomes a best selling fantasy author lmao

100% she's very into witchy stuff and only like...half in a trendy way. She's like what if on top of everything I've got going on I can cast spells? Think I deserve that power

when she's a couple decades old she catches Edward looking grossed out one day and she asks him what's up and he's like 'I really dont need to hear what creepy teachers think about my daughter' and she's like. oh. Dad we are gonna get SO MANY pedophiles arrested shdndjdn she gets him to expose teachers and she baits them then calls the police. queen.

She finds out she can get tattoos but they fade completely out of her skin within 5 years so she's always getting crazy tats

posts selfies on social media of her just like. hanging out with mountain lions or chilling on top of the space needle. her classmates think they're all photoshopped obvi but it drives her family insane

imagine you're 15 and you're on a nice hike in the woods and you come across your one classmate half naked, sacrificing a bear in some ritual, blood dripping down her face, bigfoot chilling on the rocks behind her filming the ritual on her phone...like on one hand, what would you do, but on the other hand. you've known this girl for a bit and you aren't surprised at all

anyway. stan Nessie Cullen.

#twilight saga #renesmee cullen #nessie cullen #breaking dawn #twilight #molly mumbles

[dsmp-aus]

Primeboys Fae AU

All entities mentioned are characters, not content creators.

- Dream Team is part of a faerie hunting organization intent on ridding the world of the fair folk. The organization is led by Quackity.

- Sapnap is half fae, but everyone thinks he's just a pyromancer. He talks with his dad all the time, and Dadboyhalo's been masquerading as a human for a few decades. He's dating Quackity and Karl.

- George is 1/4 fae and has a strange connection to mushrooms. No one's figured out why, but Dream has his suspicions. Unfortunately, those suspicions are that George has either gained the favor or ire of a faerie who's been making the mushrooms act strange around him.

- Dream's the human of an attempted changeling pair. When he was a baby, some faeries tried to switch their child (DreamXD) with him, but his parents caught them and stopped the switch. XD was already charmed to look like Dream though, and the magic had been put in place to keep the charm up. This resulted in Dream having True Sight and the ability to understand the fae language. His true name is Cornelius, but it lost power when the fae tried to switch him out for XD.

- The SBI is the royal family of the fae. Each family member except Tommy is in charge of a season and caste of fae, though they all live in the main castle.

- Philza is the king. He's in charge of Summer and the fae of the air. He's a good king and father, making sure to spend time with each of his kids and wife. His council is a murder of crows that can be equally serious and chaotic, often at the same time. His true name is Crowfather.

- Mumza is the queen. She's in charge of Winter and the fae of the water. She also governs the realm of the dead, though she almost always has time for her family. She'll occasionally shapeshift to blend in with Philza's council and starts chaos. Her true name is Kristen.

- Technoblade is a prince. He's in charge of Fall and the fae of fire. He's in charge of the guard and armies and always goes out with his soldiers when there's a fight. During a skirmish with the fae hunters, he was cursed by a magician to hear the voices of the mortals he killed. Since then, the voices only increased in number and chaos. Most of the time, the voices just annoy and distract him, but sometimes they have valuable insight and council. They also help him train and fight. His true name is Sanguine.

- Wilbur is the crown prince. He's in charge of Spring and the fae of earth. He has the ability to see some paths of the future and uses that gift both for the good of his people and for personal benefit. Several pranks have been pulled off successfully thanks to his foresight. His true name is Wiblur and somehow no one has picked up on it.

- Tommy is the youngest prince. He doesn't have a court and spends most of his time wandering around and causing chaos. He has an affinity for both flowers and weapons. His true name is Mellohi.

- DreamXD is the fae half of an attempted changeling pair. Although the switch didn't take place, enough magic was cast that he mirrors Dream's appearance as they both grow. He's also immune to iron and can't have his true name used against him, which is a very rare ability that he takes advantage of. Although he technically falls into Philza's court as a sylph, XD ignores many of Philza's rules. He goes into the world of humans and pretends to be one of them, though he later wears a. 'XD' mask to avoid being mistaken for Dream. His true name is Exdi.

#dsmp #dsmpau #dsmp au #c!dream #c!tommy #c!sapnap #c!george #c!philza #c!wilbur #c!technoblade #c!mumza #c!dreamxd #fae #fae au #faesmp

[strawberry-characters]

Lazuli

(La-zule-lee)

"Embodiment of Ultra Reality"

Gender: Cisgender Female

Pronouns: She/her/herself

Sexuality: Pansexual Panromantic

Species: Latias-Pheromosa hybrid.

Height: 3'11"

Age: Immortal, emotionally 20 years of age.

Description: A prankster who resides within the Ruins of Wonderlands. In her former life she was revered as a god, though now she's just a mere latias from Ultra Space who happened to still retain her reality bending powers.

Personality: Childish and mischivious, she likes to crack jokes and pull pranks on people, getting slight sadistic pleasure out of the latter. She's not going out of her way to hurt people however, she just likes to be a general nuisance to people.

In truth however, she only comes off as annoying so that people don't learn of her insecurities and therein abuse her. She finds it stressful to try and live up to the expectations of people and feels like she'll only be liked if she gives but doesnt get, so she makes sure no one likes her cuz, well, its easier to be hated then to be loved. She does appreciate kind gestures and those who enjoy her pranks, but in the back of her head she's tells herself "they're only doing this to try and use me."

Likes: Comedy, Slapstick Humor, Hilarious mistakes such as misspellings and unintentional move choosing, Fidget toys, Soft and Fluffy things, Large trees, bright colors, caterpies(loves to eat them), her Dad.

Dislikes: Matcha, Cinammon, Black Humor, Pranks or Jokes that results in the destruction of personal objects, Awkward silence, Getting wet, blow dryers, Dark Types, the word "better", Crabrawlers, dark colors, grubbins.

Summary

Category: The Eon Lissome Pokémon

Type: Bug-Psychic-Dragon

Latias Dex Entry:

"Latias is highly intelligent and capable of understanding human speech. It is covered with a glass-like down. The Pokémon enfolds its body with its down and refracts light to alter its appearance."

Pheromosa Lab Entry:

"UB-02. Code name: "Beauty." Properly known as Pheromosa. This UB was sighted for the first time following the incidents at Aether Foundation. This UB can reach speeds exceeding 120 mph in just an instant. This speed is greater than any other living creature that has been discovered to date. But its most distinctive features may in fact be its beauty and its powerful pheromones. Most any creature that squares off against a Pheromosa becomes confused, as if struck by the beast's beauty, and loses the will to fight. It is still a subject of research, but it's thought that Pheromosa may possess some sort of organ able to produce a pheromonal substance previously unknown to science."

Lady Azathoth's Page Entry "Lazuli":

"The former embodiment of reality... She was, and still always is, a really little shit. She embodied the fabric of reality, and therein bent it to her will, using it to cause chaos and misfit wherever she went. She's no longer such, but I still kept her reality bending abilities, since it's pretty much iconic with her at this point."

Ability:

Beast Boost: The Pokémon boosts its most proficient stat each time it knocks out a Pokémon.

Levitate: By floating in the air, the pokémon recieves full immunity to all ground-type moves.

Nature: Naive (+Speed, -Sp. Def)

Characteristics: Thoroughly cunning

Moveset:

Bug Buzz

Type: Bug

Category: Special

PP: 16/16

"The user generates a damaging sound wave by vibration. This may also lower the target's Sp. Def stat"

Quiver Dance

Type: Bug

Category: Status

PP: 20/20

"The user lightly performs a beautiful, mystic dance. This boosts the user's Sp. Atk, Sp. Def, and Speed stats."

Mist Ball

Type: Psychic

Category: Special

PP: 5/5

"A mist-like flurry of down envelops and damages the target. This may also lower the target's Sp. Atk stat."

Dragon Pulse

Type: Dragon

Category: Special

PP: 10/10

"The target is attacked with a shock wave generated by the user's gaping mouth."

Backstory:

A latias egg once appeared from an Ultra Wormhole and landed in a pool full of buzzwole eggs. When all the eggs hatched, one Buzzwole, Aedus, noticed the strange dragon-like pokemon that was swimming alongside larva. The others insisted that he got rid of the creature in fear of it potentially hurting someone, Aedus decided to keep her, naming her after the gemstone, Lapis Lazuli. Despite being an alien in the Ultra Jungle, she sat comfortably in her home, getting along with mainly the other organisms that resided in the area, though some loathed her for being associated with what was considered a pesky species of pokémon, and buzzwole who knew her father specifically outcasted her. One day, she ended up pushed into an ultra wormhole and ended up in the Ultra Desert, which housed a society where the beautiful thrive and the ugly perished. One such Pheromosa found her and brought her to their home, and while they were kind and understanding of Lazuli's predicament, they did stress her out due to them constantly trying to "prettify" her, failing to elaborate that those deemed unattractive will be executed to someone who lived a world where appearance was the least of everyone's concerns. She ended up disliking being forced into trying to succeed and looking her best, getting triggered upon hearing the word "Better". Once another Ultra Wormhole appeared years later, she leaped through it, desperate to leave the Desert. Thankfully, she ended up back in the Ultra Jungle and reunited with her father, though she was hardly the same afterwards.

Inspiration:

Design Wise: Early Flipnotes from MonstaYeen, Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

Concept Wise: Nothing really lol

Trivia

-One of my most earliest OCs, made her around 2015.

-MonsterYeen (formally known was WildLatias or Cloudy L.) played a big role in inspiring me to make Lovely, admittedly.

-She was originally just a straight up rip off of their characterization of Latias aka Cloudy, the only difference really being just the little symbol on her bead being heart-shaped. Over time, I started to develop her and eventually she deviated far away from her inspiration sources, the only thing remaining being just the markings on her neck.

-Applying Pheromosa to her wasn't really done until when Sun and Moon came out, and it so happened to be around the time when I redesigned Lovely/Lazuli to be yellow instead of red.

-In canon, She ended up gaining Pheromosa attributes during her time in Ultra Deserts.

-In one of her later iterations, Her ears were originally made out of metal and she was made up of jello, candy, and feathers.

-She was originally a pokésona and meant to be a mascot of sorts, though now she's just a stand-alone character.

-Lovely was her original name, eventually became her nickname as her real name was Lazuli, and now Lovely and Lazuli are two seperate characters with zero connection.

-You can't see it cuz of her hair, but she has a heart shape in place of a pentagon, this is actually the one design trait that has always stuck around since her creation.

#lovely #pokemon #latias #pheromosa #oc references #tw abuse

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas VS The "Good Child" Stereotype Chapter Three

Wooo! Chapter Two (not including the prologue) is up now for my @dukethomasbigbang fic! Today's art is by @a-sketchy-character and you can find the glorious piece HERE

thx again to my betas @queerbutstillhere & @theycallme-ook

Today has a special thanks to @batgirls-appreciation who dropped out as a beta, but this chapter couldn't exist without her!

Summary:

Duke pursed his lips, not quite sure why Cass had come down to the basement, only to look into his soul, shrug, and leave. But that didn’t matter right now. As Bruce would say, “The mission comes first.”

Read on Ao3

Duke frowned down at his empty pad of paper, trying to brainstorm. It had been a mere twelve hours since the failed Rick Roll (though, the Rick Roll itself wasn’t a fail. Duke would be daydreaming about the chaos for years to come), and the day shift bat was itching for a way to make up for it.

Alas, the creative juices were not flowing that day. Duke had tried everything - taking a walk, training, meditation, writer’s sprint, and even resorting to watching prank compilations on YouTube. But nothing worked. So, he found himself watching the target Bat - Bruce - in his “natural habitat.”

Also known as the living room, mid lecture.

“But I don’t know what I did!” Tim pleaded desperately, trying to convey to Bruce his confusion.

Bruce shook his head. “No, you do, Tim. Dick told me you all will appeal to my affection to get out of the consequences for your actions -” wow, Duke remembered Dick using that exact tactic just yesterday, and it worked - “So I will not allow you to shirk the punishment.”

Tim groaned. “This is tyranny! I’m an emancipated minor, I don’t need to deal with this.”

“Actually, yes you do. You will be doing chores for Alfred for the next two weeks, and you aren’t allowed to run off to Mount Justice.”

“Then at least tell me what I did wrong!” Tim cried, throwing his hands up in the air. Bruce rubbed his temples, then glanced briefly at Duke.

“You know what you did, and how it affected those around you. And you’re grounded because of it. No room for arguments. Now go work on the sprinklers, Alfred has mentioned they’ve been finicky.”

Tim scoffed and stalked out, soon after followed by Bruce.

Duke considered relocating as well - he couldn’t very well observe Bruce if said wild furry wasn’t present. But something about that conversation that sent a light shiver up Duke’s spine, some small spark of inspiration.

An idea began to form in his mind, and Duke smiled slowly.

*****

“For all Bruce’s waxing poetic on the merits of high tech stuff, this pipe organization is seriously ancient,” Duke muttered under his breath as he glanced from the blueprints he had secured to the mess of pipes and spigots and nozzles in front of him.

Though to be fair, this wasn’t the Batcave. Duke was in the basement of Wayne Manor - yes, he was just as surprised to find they actually had one of those that wasn’t dedicated to the dark and mystique training of Gotham’s Protectors. And impromptu Mario Kart challenges, because as Tim had once told Duke “We all know that’s the real reason Bruce got a giant computer setup.”

Duke cursed softly under his breath when he dropped a wrench that began to clang around in the messy cage of metal. He set the blueprints aside atop the gallons of paint he had chosen, and reached around and down to get the wrench. When he came back up, he found himself face to face with his sister Cassandra.

Oh shit, Duke thought, as he tried to figure out how to cover for what he was doing in the plumbing of the Manor.

Cass squinted at him and, not for the first time, Duke felt like he was an onion trapped beneath her gaze, slowly being peeled back layer by layer till the young woman before him knew every little detail about him. Every thought or plan he ever had.

Duke began to sweat, unable to keep his panic under wraps. Cass was scarier than Bruce, that was just a fact.

Cass tilted her head a fraction of an inch, and Duke thought he was a dead man. But, much to his relief and confusion, Cass shrugged and turned. She walked lightheartedly out of the basement and to the stairs, whistling tunelessly as she went.

Duke pursed his lips, not quite sure why Cass had come down to the basement, only to look into his soul, shrug, and leave.

But that didn’t matter right now. As Bruce would say, “The mission comes first.”

*****

As all members of the Wayne family knew, the Library was one of the best places, period. Aside from the living room which was always a mess of pillows, bean bags, inflatable dinosaurs, spare semi-automatic weaponry and knives, the Library was the most personal room in the expansive home that was the Manor. Sure, it was cleaner and home to fewer surprise nerf gun fights, but It still had an air of warmth about it. It was the place that they would go to to rest after a difficult patrol. Where you could find Jason reading some book in a corner, Tim busy with WE work at the large table, Damian trying to teach Alfred the Cat and Titus to read picture books, Cass and Steph trying to be subtle about making out (though to be fair that was only half the time, other times Cass was working on reading with Steph helpfully giving her guidance). Dick would always be trying to decide what to read and but he would never actually succeed, Bruce would sit in his tall armchair in the corner overlooking every small detail of his children with a not-quick-smile-but-pretty-darn-close on his face.

Duke himself also had his own spot that he would work on writing poetry, or just surf Tumblr. It was a window seat at the far side of the library which was technically big enough for three people, but Duke had a strict policy that it was his and his alone and no he totally wasn’t bullied by Cass that one time to snuggle. Why on Earth would you ever consider such a thing?

It was in this spot now that Duke was situated, though he was not alone. Titus - yes, Damian’s dog - was draped across his lap. Now, Duke didn’t mean to steal his little brother’s pets, but it just happened. Titus was in need of snuggles or belly rubs when Damian was away with Jon or on patrol at night, and Duke just happened to be the only one that said canine could bully into granting him.

Thankfully, like all bats were, Duke was a multi-tasker. He wasn’t put off by having to scratch a dog behind the ears whilst simultaneously checking the twelve blinking dots on his laptop screen that represented his family members.

Duke stared intensely at the diagram of the Manor as all the dots slowed down and finally stayed in their predetermined positions. Huh, Tim was right. Stalking family members did pay off!

The dots suddenly stopped blinking, and Duke snapped out of his self congratulations. It was go time . He switched windows, then quickly pulled out his phone and pressed a button.

There were several screams that echoed throughout the ancient halls, those screams spoke of terror and surprise, and passed along the message that something was very, very wrong in the world. The status quo had been broken, and there was no returning from this.

Duke smirked down at his computer, where a dozen different squares displayed camera footage of the real time happenings of the Manor. Said footage was showing several members of Duke’s family drenched in paint. The same paint that Duke had meticulously divided and poured into the ceiling sprinkling system that the Manor had for some totally-not-plot-related reason. The same paint which had been primed and ready to be sprayed out of the spigots coating each bat with the perfectly calculated, even layer.

The paint had just finished being deployed, and yet several people were for some reason trying to fight it off like it was an attacker. Duke noticed that the swinging of bo staffs, AK-47’s and katanas were altogether unsuccessful. Honestly, the people who were standing completely still in shock, or who were trying to shake off the paint were having much better luck.

But then everyone finally realised that they weren’t being sprayed anymore, and a collective sigh spread out across the Manor. The onslaught was done, and they could finally gather together and grab the pitchforks to hunt down the responsible party.

It was then that the glitter was deployed.

The chaos immediately multiplied tenfold, and the screams sounded up again. The air was filled with the sparkly dust that was way too thin to swat away. (No, Duke totally didn’t spend extra time researching to find the world’s finest glitter)

Duke was outright laughing at this point, so hard that he almost fell off the window seat. Titus barked suddenly, and Duke sobered enough to get back upright and watch the finishing up of the chaos. He had to admit, this felt wonderful. If he had to describe his current state of thrill in two words, he would have admitted that he felt altogether too close to the Hellmo Meme.

Unfortunately, Duke was not Stephanie, and ran out of glitter eventually. The vents stopped blasting the film of fairy dust, and the bats were given a reprieve.

Though the break was short lived, as just then, Bruce’s loud bellow sounded throughout the giant house.

“ALL OF YOU GET IN HERE!”

Duke chuckled as he scooched Titus over and set his laptop to the side so he could get up. This was all working perfectly! He’d arrive at Bruce's interrogation completely free from all paint or glitter, which would immediately prove his guilt. And if that didn’t work, then he supposed he could outright confess. But that wasn’t the point of this. The point was for Bruce to come to the conclusion on his own.

He walked down the hall, completely carefree. So happy and confident in his own abilities that he never even noticed that Cassandra’s paint or glitter didn’t go off. That she wasn’t even present where the tracker he had subtly placed on her earlier that day said she was.

*****

Duke hummed to himself as he skipped along the carpet, past the antique vases and random finger paintings, past the drawing rooms and bathrooms, and towards Bruce. All was quiet.

Though that began to trouble Duke, as he got closer to one of the rooms which was very special. It was where Cass had been situated, playing with Selina’s cat Isis, for the past hour. Now, Cassandra was quiet, sure. But not that quiet. And besides, wouldn’t the cat be screeching right about now? Cass didn’t seem like the person to give a nerve hit to an animal just because it was being loud ( cough Jason cough ).

He slowly entered the room and looked around, but was surprised to find it completely empty. Not just of girl and cat, but of paint and glitter too.

“You were mistaken.”

Duke whirled around to find Cass sitting in an armchair, wrapped in shadows, and stroking Isis in a manner not altogether different from that of an Evil Mastermind™.

“Uh…” Duke replied, “about what?”

Cass smirked, and Duke felt a shiver run up his spine. “Actions have consequences. ”

Duke frowned. Wait, what? He glanced around again, trying to figure out what Cass meant. On a surface level he understood, but there was something about the way Cass was eyeing him that told him something else was up.

The only thing he could find that was out of the ordinary, however, was the camera he had placed just yesterday. Huh, now that he thought about it, he was at just the right angle to see it. Which meant he was in direct view of the camera itself. Pretty darn to close to where he had been planning Cass would stand, actually.

Then a faint spitting noise came from above him.

Oh.

*****

Duke trudged forlornly into the room where the rest of the bats - except Cassandra, who had disappeared after the glitter had deployed onto Duke - had gathered. He was one of the last to arrive, muttering curses under his breath, so all eyes were on him as he opened the door and joined them.

Though that also meant that Duke could see them. He had to admit, that as disappointed as he was, it was still hard to keep a grin from spreading across his face. Boy, he had done a great job with color coordination, hadn’t he?

Bruce was front and center, covered in a dark gray paint which had the sheen of yellow glitter. Dick had black paint completely covering him (much more than Duke planned. Did Dick roll in the stuff?) along with blue glitter. Jason had both red paint and glitter on him. Tim had started off with a lighter colored paint - this time red - and then the look was finished by black glitter. Damian looked like a small Christmas tree in his green paint and red glitter. Harper had blue paint then covered in purple glitter, both of which were the exact shades of her hair. Duke wasn’t a monster ; he knew how to match colors.

The cousins - both honorary and actually - had also been present. Bette had been appropriately targeted with a flaming orange and gold combination. Kate had black paint and, instead of red, Duke had picked a rainbow glitter for her. From the slight glint in her eye, Duke supposed he had chosen correctly. Jean-Paul had been doused in yellow paint and red glitter, and he honestly looked like a very large and human shaped version of his sword. Luke was covered in silver paint and an electric blue glitter.

Bruce, however, didn’t give Duke a second glance, covered in yellow paint and black glitter (which had been meant for Cass, but honestly, it fit Duke quite well), though he was.

“Good, now we just have to wait for Steph,” Tim remarked, rolling his eyes.

Duke frowned. “What about Cass? She’s here too.”

Everyone gave Duke a weird look. “Uh, no she isn’t. She’s been hanging out with Selina and Babs all weekend.”

“Then your intel is wrong,” Duke countered. “She was just here! I planned on her being here!”

The silence in the room was palpable. Before, where there had been bickering and accusations, the quiet had taken over. Everyone stared at Duke with suspicion in their eyes.

Finally, Duke thought, sighing in relief.

Bruce opened his mouth about to question Duke’s statement when the doors to the room banged open.

“What’s up, Bitches? The Waffle Queen has arrived and looks as fabulous as ever!”

Duke stared, completely amazed that she actually seemed to like the purple on purple combo Duke had picked for her. Oh, yeah, now that he thought about it made perfect sense that Steph was the only one to like this.

“Wow, whoever did this really got my colors right!" Steph continued as she waltzed in and posed in front of everyone, her hip cocked and arm thrown up dramatically.

Bruce’s eyes narrowed, and he began to growl at her. “This is not funny.”

Steph pouted. “What do you mean? I sure think it is!”

Oh boy, she didn’t notice she was digging her own grave, did she? From the looks of the other bats, they shared Duke’s sentiment.

“Stephanie Brown, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Stephanie smirked. “Yup! I look way better than you, you old fur- hey wait! Are you blaming me ?!”

Bruce glared even harder, and Stephanie started to protest, claiming that she was but an innocent victim of these pain-filled proceedings! It was not her fault! Nor was it her fault that she happened to get colors that she liked better than everyone else.

Bruce refused to hear what she said, and told her to go get changed. “You will be cleaning up this whole mess, and no patrolling until it’s done.”

Bruce turned and stalked out, and Steph was left speechless - for once - in the hall. She backed away, seeing the angry stares from the others. The only one who didn’t seem mad at her, was Duke himself. He opened his eyes wide, conveying pity. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed silently.

Instead of being reassuring, however, Steph squinted in suspicion. Oh shit, that probably hadn’t been the best move.

Just moments after Steph left, Jason threw up his hands. “Okay, who wants to have a water gun fight to clean off?”

There were several cheers of assent, but Duke quickly made his own escape at that time. He honestly wasn’t in the mood to get splashed in the face with water. Now was not the time for fun, as the failed prank still hung over him.

Now was the time for plotting.

*****

“Okay, but why on earth do you have a fully functioning sprinkler system in every room?”

“Yeah, Bruce, even for you that’s paranoid! What caused you to think that was necessary?”

“You.”

#duke thomas #duke thomas big bang #batfam #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #dtbb21 #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #kate kane #jean paul valley #luke fox #bette kane

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

P S Y C H (ch.1)

I hate definition intros but it has to be done: The word "PSYCH" is commonly used online and in conversation as a slang term to indicate that something that has just been said or typed was intended as a prank on the recipient or a joke.

Also short for Psychic

Next Chapter

Say what you want about organized religion, but you can’t deny that it is one of the most dangerous weapons on the planet. For centuries people have developed weapons and fought wars in the name of their beliefs. They’ve conquered lands and assimilated nations. Give the people superpowers and there’s no way people don’t die on a daily basis. Unless you give them lame ass powers and call them quirks. God’s funny like that. Most people get run of the mill things like the ability to draw small objects close to them. That way there’s a power imbalance in the world. It’s less chaos if only a select few get the good abilities. Less people question God’s authority that way. Those who get the awesome superpowers are seen as blessed, divine. Honored.  

[Mo.Name] [L.Name] was not blessed. She was liked by God at best. Being an empath, her quirk was not something to marvel at. If she worked hard to develop it, she could use her quirk offensively and defensively or even professionally but she would never be someone who was in charge of maintaining the world order. 

As she grew older she would become disillusioned with God and the blessed individuals that policed over the nations. They called themselves heroes, and a few people were but everything about hero society just didn’t sit well with her. She became a teacher instead and worked with kids with special needs. When they had trouble expressing themselves she could use her quirk to get a feel for what they needed in the moment or she could project enough calmness that they could pull themselves together and communicate without throwing a fit. 

She had a kid at a young age. 30 years old. Not too young and not too old. But by the time she was 35 she was a single mother. Her kid was the best. He didn’t cry too often and he learned how to speak very young. He soaked up information like a sponge and he didn’t develop a flashy quirk like the heroes she felt mild contempt for. Her baby was ignored by God.

Psych.

“No one is born equal. Yadda yadda yadda- How long has he been planning this monologue? No seriously it’s been playing in his head since the day (not really) we first met and I’m kind of bored of it now”

Izuku Midoriya was not a late bloomer. He never got his quirk, he has the extra toe joint, and he was bullied for being powerless. A Deku. [Name] [L.Name] WAS a late bloomer. He got teased a little, picked on. Sometimes people even gave him pitying looks. But it all ended  when he turned about six. There’s that old saying: two roads diverged in a yellow wood. Well one of those roads is for those scorned, and the other for those who who were touched by fire yet never burned. The sinner and the saint. What a traveller wouldn’t know is, that at some point, the roads converge. How else are they supposed to get to the same destination?

Wonder, outsiders..who is on which road? What makes the sinner a sinner and not a saint?

“Using your quirk in public is illegal”

“And minding your own business is free” [Name] bit back. What’s a little telekinesis gonna do? Cause mass destruction? Widespread panic? He just didn’t want to touch the handle on the door. Public spaces are very unsanitary... it’s not like his arms are too sore to do any sort of lifting. Nope. Not at all.

[Name] had unfortunately spent the entire weekend doing his least favorite activity. Physical exercise. Of course with a quirk like his he’d rarely ever need physical strength, but that’s exactly what everyone else would think. And [Name] is the type of kid that wants you to doubt him so he can feel the rush of proving you wrong. It’s a warped mindset but when no one ever expects anything from you, it’s kind of a thrill to see the surprised looks on their faces. A psychic with impressive physical strength would be the same as someone 5’6 (167.6 cm) dominating a sport made for tall people. Like basketball. Or volleyball.

Anyway, [Name] was in the sportswear store, a place he’d rather not be caught dead in, trying to get support for his wrists. Most of his quirk usage was through precise hand movements, a slight flick of the wrist could easily send someone flying. His hands, and by extension his wrists were very important. A punch thrown wrong during training could fracture that oh so important wrist, hence the whole idea of getting wrist wraps. 

For once [Name] was actually being proactive and he was very proud of himself for thinking of the idea in the first place. His eyes glowed golden as he reached his hand out to grab the wraps floating down from the top shelf. The UA exams were in about a week and a half and he had no idea what to expect. So he would train for everything they could throw at him. Even if it meant he had to go back to throwing punches at an oversized bag of sand.

[Name] used his telekinesis so often the drawback was nearly negligible. But if he did overuse it, the damage was a headache that could range from minor inconveniences like losing your chapstick, to a grenade going off in an enclosed space. The big ones weren’t usually the problem. The problem would be somewhere in the middle, because it would cause him to lose control of his telepathy, and once the headache combined with the voices of everyone in a 50 meter vicinity his brain would get seriously overwhelmed. Ultimately he’d be passed out on the ground within 5 minutes. 

For the first year and a half of middle school three times a week [Name] would have fighting training along with weight training, alternating days so that he’d have a break in between each session. This was all pretty much to catch up with his rapidly developing quirk. [Name]’s body wasn’t prepared for the use of his quirk. He grew to the age of 6 doing things normally until his untapped power literally exploded out of him. Talk about damage control. For quirk training he usually offered to help his neighbor who ran a junkyard by lifting cars and other heavy things telekinetically. An unofficial part of the training regime, [Name] would also read other people’s thoughts all day everyday. He said it was to get used to hearing others’ voices in his head. But that was only a half truth. [Name] was just extremely nosy, but he went about it in a casual way. He probably should apologize for the invasion of privacy but he loved every minute of it. Besides, listening to the spirits of others could be considered a god-honored practice.

On the day of the entrance exams [Name] regretted everything. He’d decided to become a hero for fun, less than two weeks prior (the whole reason he went to the sportswear store and started working out again), and by the grace of god he was regretting it. Not because he was nervous he’d fail, at least he wasn’t before he got there. It was just SO loud. He’d gotten better at controlling his quirk since he began using telepathy to eavesdrop but the last time he was in a room full of this many people was the middle school entrance ceremony (which he skipped halfway through because of a headache. By the way how could so many kids sitting in silence be so loud). It made sense, he was not used to having to deal with the noise of people muttering, thinking, PANICKING. And now that his quirk is stronger than what it was before everything felt ten times worse. [Name] leaned forward and tapped the green haired boy sitting in front of him muttering. Not only could he hear the boy’s thoughts going a mile a minute but his mouth was too. The kid whipped around eyes wide and shook nervously. [Name] was about to ask him to quiet down but got confused when he made sense of the kid’s thoughts. 

The kid was obviously a fanboy muttering about Present Mic who was getting on [Name]’s nerves a little with his exorbitant amount of energy. Before [Name] could say anything the ash-blonde near the fanboy spoke up.

“He’s probably telling you to shaddup”

The green haired boy opened his mouth to apologize and then realized he would be making more noise and quickly shut it before nodding profusely. [Name] was tired of referring to them by their hair colors and may have invaded the fanboy’s head for some background information on the two and got more than he bargained for. The fanboy whose name was apparently Izuku, was not only sitting next to Bakugou, his childhood bully, but just this morning he had gained an immense amount of power, officially becoming All Might’s successor. Oh look, two of them would be taking the exam in the same area. Things at UA were gonna get interesting.

#bnha x male reader #mha x male #male reader #male reader insert #x male reader #m!reader #m!reader insert #x m!reader #bnha #mha #that bi bitch writes #that-bi-bitch-writes #psych