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#please send healing vibes her way
latitudesunknown · 2 years
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pastelispunx · 5 months
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HOW U DOING TODAY BABE
I hope your days are going better ✨
If not here is lolly flop
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I appreciate the cat photos ❤️❤️ alas I am not. My dog is at the ER Vet and I'm kind of a mess.
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crazynerdandproud · 11 months
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Prayer request
My Mom had a major, very invasive, surgery yesterday. She will be fine, but is in a lot of pain that is only going to get worse in the next few days. She also has a lot of PT to do to be able to have a good quality of life. Please pray for her.
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leejenowrld · 3 months
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ghostin’ (two)
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pairing na jaemin x y/n (fem)
word count 17k
genre smut, fluff, angst, situationship vibes, college au
chapter summary you and jaemin grow closer, the sex is really fucking good and everyone finds out. you begin trusting him more than you ever thought you would but amidst the bliss, you wonder: is it too good to be true?
one | two | three | four
chapter warnings jaemin and reader moments, so many jaem and reader moments, jaemin aftercare, hot and mature jaemin, jaemin fingers reader under the table, jaemin obbession with readers thighs, jaemin cockwarming moments, personal talks, jaemin fucks you doggy style against the railings and everyone sees. you ride jaemin in his car, nevertheless inspired lollipop kiss, reader x jeno x haerin sexual moments, girl moments🫶, jeno and reader moments, soft jaemin, soft reader, please they’re literally in love, appearances from other '00 liners, explicit language, swearing, mention of drugs, smoking and alcohol, getting high, ass slapping, dirty talk, big cock jaemin, soft dom jaemin, introverted, chill, emotionally intelligent, laid back, mysterious jaemin, jaemin with a darker side, a very sexy jaemin, black haired jaemin, jaemin who has no flaws
author note this chapter is heavily inspired by the friends episode ‘the one where everyone finds out’ keep that in mind! also a massive thank you to @siordior for her help with smut scenes and just a few scenes in general 🥰 she was a massive help.
1/6 of the campus heartbreaker series, read here
“This isn’t your bed.” Jaemin whispers, his voice a deep, resonant hum that sends vibrations against your skin, enveloping you in a cocoon of warmth.
“Um– yeah. It’s Haerin’s. You reply, your consciousness surfacing slowly, pulling you out of the remnants of sleep. As sobriety dawns, fragments of the previous night cascade through your mind, each memory vivid and startling.
The shock of realizing that you, after firmly vowing to allow yourself to heal and to avoid intimacy with another man, had found yourself with Na Jaemin of all people, hits you like a wave. Yet, as you lie there, wrapped in his arms, a sense of comfort envelops you. Despite the surprise and the internal promises you’ve made, being here, in this embrace, just feels inexplicably right.
You remain naked and on top of him, cuddled within the circle of his arms with your head comfortably resting against his chest. Gently, he kisses your forehead. With a smooth motion, he turns the two of you around, his arms enveloping you protectively. He gives you a sweet smile, and there’s something in his eyes, in the way he looks at you, that makes you melt.
He gently removes his cock away from you inside of you. There’s a moment filled with heavy sighs and the soft sound of breathing, a testament to the intensity just shared. Your mouth waters as you see all the juices and all the sticky residue, you’re still so wet and Haerin’s bed sheets are stained. He’s got cum all over him and you’re sure you do too.
“Why do you let me fuck you on Haerin’s bed?” He inquires with a hint of amusement in his voice.
You respond with a casual shrug, “I couldn’t be bothered to take the extra steps. Besides, Haerin and Jeno have pretty much done it in every corner of my room.”
“Same here.” He chuckles. Changing the subject, he adds more thoughtfully, “Anyway, I need to get you cleaned up. I’m sorry I didn’t do it last night, you just fell asleep in seconds and my dick was still inside of you so—”
You nod, cheeks warm with a shy redness, murmuring, “Okay, yeah, thanks.” He steps away, promising to return soon. Alone, you gaze upwards, lost in the patterns above. In this quiet moment, you think about what you’ve just done and how you feel better than you would’ve thought.
You hear the sound of running water, signalling his return. He enters.
The sight of him takes your breath away. He’s naked and you truly can’t deal with the sight. He’s sexy. His cock looks insane and massive, you can’t believe it was inside you for the whole night. His shirtless form reveals a toned chest. The soft light plays across his skin, highlighting the contours of his physique. His strong shoulders and defined abs speak of strength, yet there’s a gentleness in the way he moves. You find yourself captivated, tracing the lines of his body with your eyes, feeling a warmth spread through you. The memory of your shared night makes your heart race.
He feels you staring and responds with a playful smirk. “Can you walk?”
You shake your head, your thighs still weak and your pussy still burning. Suddenly, he leans down and scoops you up in his arms, eliciting a surprised yelp from you.
“Let me put clothes on first!” You protest, feeling a bit shy in his embrace.
He chuckles lightly, “But we’re about to have a bath, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, but –”
He cuts you off playfully. “You’re really shy about me seeing you naked when I pounded into your ass the whole night long, spanked you, spit in you and choked you?”
You blush, memories of the passionate night flooding back. As he carries you to the shower, you feel his strong grip on your ass and it is so tight. You could swear that his hand was gripping your ass in your sleep.
Gently, he sets you down in the warm bath, the water soothing against your skin. You look up at him, and for a second, the world pauses. There’s something in the way he looks at you, a tenderness in his eyes that makes your heart flutter. His kindness, so evident in his every action, overwhelms you.
You’re not sure what this emotion is, but it compels you. With a soft whine, you reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him towards you. Your fingers find the cool metal of his chain, drawing him even closer. When your lips meet, it’s a fiery, passionate kiss, full of the emotions swirling within you both.
Sensing your desire, he joins you in the bath, the water rippling around you. You move to sit on his lap, facing him. You’re now close enough to see every detail in his face—the soft hue of his skin, a stark contrast against the dark hair that frames his features. His eyes, like pools of enigma, shadowed and deep, hold a glimmer of playfulness. His jawline is sharp, giving him a chiselled look.
There’s a comfort in his embrace, his arms encircling you gently, making you feel cherished and safe. The water laps quietly against you both but you smirk as you feel something prod against your thigh. “Really?” You question, his hardness makes you feel heat.
“Yeah.” He responds nonchalantly. “There’s a hot naked girl sitting on my thighs and you don’t think I’ll be hard?” He questions, his voice a low whisper as you shake your head and jab his chest, your cheeks burning into the pinkiest of shades
“Do you want me to wash your hair?” He offers in a voice soft as the steam around you.
“Please.” You reply, feeling the warmth of anticipation.
His fingers are tender as they brush through your hair, handling each strand with care and a precision that speaks of his attentiveness. You can’t resist teasing, “I bet I’m not the first girl’s hair you’ve washed.”
He just shakes his head, a knowing smirk on his lips, as he continues with his gentle ministrations.
Then, with a delicate touch, he begins to wash your skin, lathering it with scented body wash that fills the air with a fragrant blend. His hands move with purpose, massaging your joints, easing away any tension. Softly wiping away the residue inside your folds and on your thighs. His lips find your neck and cheek, kissing you softly, as sweet whispers escape him, blending with the steam and water.
After the bath, he wraps you in the softness of one of his shirts. The fabric smells of him, a captivating blend of woodsy and citrus notes. Standing there, you both exchange awkward glances, the air charged with the electricity of unspoken words.
The sides of his lips curve up in a smirk as he revels in the silence. “You wanna ride my cock again?” His voice is a low rumble, eyes searching yours for an answer.
“I should get going.” You reply, nearly choking on your words. “And you should too.”
“Thank you for tonight.” You say, a note of sincerity in your words. As he turns to leave, you suddenly grasp his hand, pulling him back. His eyes narrow in confusion just before you roughly push him away.
“Haerin, Hana and Jeno are home.” You whisper urgently, their loud voices echoing up the walls. “They cannot know about this. Do not make a noise.”
“Y/N!” Haerin’s voice cuts through the silence, her fists pounding on the door.
How did she know you were home? You press a finger to your lips, hoping silence will dispel her suspicion. Relief washes over you for the locked door, yet her knocking persists, each thud a hammer to your calm.
“Open up! I know you’re in here.” She insists.
You finally yield, opening the door to Haerin’s wide eyes, Jeno’s unusual silence, and Hana’s evident fatigue. “What the hell are you doing in my room? Did you sleep here all night?” Haerin’s eyebrow arches accusingly.
“I – um – yeah.” You admit, each syllable heavy with a truth you couldn’t cloak. Deception has never been your strong suit, especially not with them.
“Why?” She probes, her suspicion a tangible force that seemed to push the walls of the room closer.
“I missed you guys.”’ You manage to say, the lie smooth but tasting of ash on your tongue.
Hana’s eyes widen, a playful note to her voice as she coos. “Aw, did you masturbate?”
The question catches you off guard, and you nearly cough. “No?” Your answer is more of a question, an ineffectual attempt to deflect.
Her gaze sharpens, the intensity in her eyes almost accusatory. “You sure… you have that afterglow. Wait, holy shit did you fuck —”
Before she can finish, you cut in, a bit too sharply, “I spent the night alone, got myself off, okay?” The words are a barricade, hastily erected to keep their probing eyes from the truth.
“In my bed?” Haerin’s frown deepens, her scepticism a heavy cloak around her shoulders.
“I was drunk…” Your defense is a whisper, dissolving like mist in the growing light.
Jeno’s voice, unexpectedly, cuts through. “It smells like Jaemin in here. Isn’t that his shirt?” His observation is astute, his smirk a silent challenge to your crumbling façade.
Your heart stutters, racing to keep up with the lies. “He gave it to me at the party after I spilled a drink,” you say, hoping the half-truth is convincing.
“Hmm, sure.” Jeno drawls, unconvinced.
“And you have bruises on your legs.” Haerin adds, her gaze slicing through your defenses like a blade.
“I fell in the shower.” You repeat, grateful that your hair covered the hickies he had left on your neck and chest.
They finally leave you alone a moment later. Their departure brings a reprieve, a moment to breathe. Jaemin’s smirk reappears, as if he knows the weight of the secret you both carry. His hands, warm and reassuring, cup your face. “Will I see you again?” He asks, his voice a low murmur filled with promise.
“Yeah.” You whisper, your smile a mix of complicity and hope. His kiss is a seal, passionate and deep—a silent vow that speaks of future encounters as he reluctantly parts from you.
Jaemin's smirk softens into a tender smile as he reaches out, his hands gently cradling your face. The contact is soft, his touch a soothing warmth against your skin, a silent promise of care.
The kiss concludes, leaving a lingering sense of longing as he steps back, his eyes holding yours for a moment longer. There's a silent exchange of emotion, a shared anticipation for what's to come. Then, with a final, soft look, he turns and walks away
SCENE 2
You find yourself at a bar for the night, ‘REPLAY127,’ commonly known as ‘127.’ It was a popular social hotspot for the students of Neo Tech University, who drank away all of their academic stress and relationship worries. It was always a scene with buzzed with chaos and drunk energy.
All of your friends are here and they’re all so loved up. There’s couples and love all around, smooching noises everywhere. Eric and Hana are in their own bubble. His arm around her as he whispers something into her ear, she lights up with a grin that speaks volumes about their feelings. You had thought their relationship was just a fling, but the depth of their connection is undeniable. You mentally remind yourself to check in with Hana later.
Xiaojun is unmistakably the player tonight, especially noticeable as he gets more drunk. Wandering around the bar, he’s openly flirting with girls and anyone willing to engage with him. His approach is direct and confident, marked by a clear intention to find someone’s bed to get in.
Your gaze shifts to Yangyang, Soobin, and Yeonjun, What’s going on with them? They’re all being overly affectionate with each other. Yeonjun was sitting in Soobins lap and making out with him and now he’s leaning over and making out with Yangyang as Soobin (you’re pretty sure) is fingering Yeonjun.
Nearby, Shotaro and Chaewon are holding hands, an unexpected sight. Wonbin, sitting by himself, nurses his drink with a solemn expression. His distant gaze and the tight grip on his glass indicate he’s not in the best of moods.
In one corner, Haerin is engrossed in her assignments, her fingers flying over the laptop keyboard, ignoring everything and everyone around her. Her manager keeps complaining about her to anyone who will listen. (yeah, she works here) According to Taeyong, “she’s lazy, doesn’t turn up on time, doesn’t know what she’s doing, makes a mess of everything” Haerin’s only response is a dismissive gesture in his direction and Jeno just stays by her side, smirking and drinking. He’s just happy to be here.
At least there’s Donghyuck, someone who can join you in the lonely hearts club. In stark contrast to the love around, he’s the loner of your group. He sits by himself, lost in his thoughts, with a joint in hand. He’s silent, a lone figure amidst the bustling energy of the bar.
Well you and Donghyuck aren’t completely alone in the lonely hearts club, there’s a third member, Jaemin.
Captured in the understated glow of the bar’s ambiance, he exudes a quiet magnetism. His hair, tousled to a perfect degree, frames a face that carries an expression of both concentration and alluring detachment. Sharp jawline and high cheekbones give his face a sculptural quality, softened only by the slight pout of his lips. His eyes, pensive and deep-set, seem to hold volumes of untold stories, inviting a second glance to unravel their mysteries. His hotness is not loud but lingering, like a whispered secret.
He’s sitting across from you, wearing that fucking grin, It’s subtle, just a slight upward curve of his lips, but it’s enough to send a shiver down your spine. His eyes hold a mischievous gleam, amused as he’s fingering you under the table.
It started off fairly innocent. His hand ventures under your skirt, a light brush at first. His fingers start to explore, tenderly caressing your thighs, occasionally squeezing gently. The cold metal of his rings creates a delightful contrast against the warmth of your skin, sending tingles up your spine.
You can’t help but smile back at him. The pretty little skirt you chose now feels like a perfect decision, especially seeing the way his eyes lit up when you first joined the table. His gaze was intense, filled with a dark passion that left you wondering about his thoughts, about what he might do to you next, about the unspoken promises lingering in his deep, enigmatic eyes.
Suddenly his fingers glide into your clit. It’s done so subtly, so casually, it’s almost imperceptible. His face remains nonchalant, perfectly composed. He’s fully engaged in the conversation around the table, acting as if he’s not finger fucking you.
Your walls tighten around him and you clench but his expression still remains unchanged, all he does is raise his eyebrow at you. It’s not fast at all, he doesn’t break eye contact with you as he rubs in small circles. His eyes, intense and captivating, hold your gaze. It’s hard to look away; his presence is magnetic, drawing you in despite your attempts to focus elsewhere.
Just when you feel yourself getting lost in the sensation, he abruptly stops, pulling his hand back. His eyes never leave yours, and there’s a hint of mystery in them. In a bold yet quiet gesture, he brings his finger, which are covered in your cum, to his lips and he licks them.
Your back arches slightly and your eyes roll back, you cannot believe how incredibly sexy this is. Caught off guard, a soft and involuntary moan escapes your lips, louder than intended. The noise momentarily attracts the attention of your friends at the table, and you feel a rush of heat to your cheeks, embarrassed but also exhilarated by the boldness of it all.
An immediate silence follows. Your friends' eyes are wide, filled with concern, as they all turn to look at you. All except for Jeno, who sports a proud smile, a reaction you find oddly out of place in the moment and wish you didn’t overlook it.
"Someone fuck my girl right now.” Haerin declares emphatically. Xiaojun volunteers without hesitation, nodding with a confident grin, rubbing his bulge and leaning up from the table, his hand held high.
You let out a laugh and shake your head at Xiaojun, the sound bright and clear against the quiet of the moment. As the laughter fades, you suddenly become aware of Jaemin’s gaze fixed on you, intense and singular. It washes over you like a spotlight, turning your laughter into a shy retreat. You feel a blush creeping up your cheeks and you instinctively try to hide it, looking down to escape the weight of his stare.
You glance away, seeking solace in the familiar faces around the table, but the heat of his gaze lingers, a silent echo of the connection you're both aware of. With a self-conscious smile, you gather your things, the laughter still hanging in the air as you stand.
“I’m gonna head out.” You announce to your friends, feeling the weight of the evening’s events.
“You’re not even drunk.” Hana whines, her words slurred from the alcohol. She’s visibly wasted, her usual vibrant energy replaced by a drunken lull. “If you go, I go.” She adds, trying to steady her speech.
You pause, contemplating staying a bit longer. Hana’s state makes you hesitant to leave; ensuring she gets home safely is important to you. As you weigh your options, Eric steps in, he shakes his head with a soft, understanding smile. “It’s okay, I’ve got her.” He assures you as he wraps his arms around Hana, pulling her close. He plants a gentle kiss on her forehead, a gesture full of affection and responsibility.
You can’t help but smile at the scene, a sense of relief washing over you. With Eric there, you know Hana is in good hands, her drunkenness safely managed. It’s comforting to see how well he takes care of her, a testament to the depth of their connection. With that assurance, you feel at ease to leave, knowing your friend is safe and cared for.
"I'll drive you.” Xiaojun offers first, flashing a smile in your direction.
"You can't even drive.” Yangyang retorts, casting a doubtful look at him.
Xiaojun scratches his neck, seemingly questioning his own state. How high was he? The conversation, however, takes a swift turn as Jaemin stands up. His gaze locks with yours, intense and unwavering, sending an unexpected shiver through you. "It's fine, I got you.” He says confidently.
The silence that travels around the table is palpable. “I got it.” He claims he meant.
But Xiaojun persists only for Jaemin to shake his head. “Bro, it's fine, keep trying to fuck Yunjin.” He says with a chuckle.
"It's just a 5-minute walk, I can go myself –" You start to protest, but the chorus of objections from your friends drowns you out.
They all yell at you, so many voices rise in unison, effectively cutting off your protests. Jeno bluntly tells you to stop talking, while Xiaojun calls you an idiot for even considering walking alone so late. Donghyuck, who usually maintains a ghostly silence, surprises you by chiming in with a disapproving tut and a sharp remark, moving out of his seat to flick your forehead with his finger. You wince, holding the area with a pout. Your eyes widen in surprise at their unanimous concern. Realizing there's no winning this argument, you accept their decision with a resigned sigh.
You widen your eyes and huff, admitting defeat, you see no point in arguing further. Jaemin is smirking at the sight of you, his gaze briefly dropping to your legs. You notice the way his eyes linger there, he smirks at the cum that drips down your thighs, you’re sighing at his touch.
Resigned to the fact that Jaemin will be escorting you, you gather your belongings, ready to leave the warmth and noise of the bar for the quiet of the night, accompanied by someone who seems to stir a myriad of emotions within you.
As Jaemin’s hand brushes against your back, a shiver runs through you, and your breath hitches in response. His voice, a low and deep whisper close to your ear, is barely audible over the din of the bar. “I’m bringing the car, stay at the front.” He instructed quietly.
You nod subtly, and as you turn to leave, you catch Hana’s eyes briefly peeking up, but she’s too caught up in her own world to give it much thought. A wave of relief washes over you, grateful that your friends, immersed in their own drunken revelries, haven’t noticed the discreet exchanges between you and Jaemin.
Standing near the entrance, you wait, lost in your thoughts about the night and the subtle interactions with Jaemin. Suddenly, you’re brought back to the present as Haerin and Jeno approach. Haerin, with a bright, infectious smile, latches onto your arm in a friendly embrace.
"Me and Jeno are going to that rooftop sushi restaurant." She announces. "Come with us!!!" She urges, her enthusiasm evident.
"No…" You shake your head immediately, already having made up your mind. "I’m going home, Jaemin’s gonna drive me.”
"Just come!!!" The plea comes again, more insistent this time.
You turn to them, opting for honesty. "I don’t like hanging out with you guys. Last time, you both just sat munching on each other while I was there just munching on my sushi.” You explain with a light-hearted tone, trying to convey your point without sounding too harsh. Your words are met with a mix of laughter and mock offense, but they convey your desire for a quiet end to the evening.
"Come on, baby.” Jeno whispers softly, extending his hand to Haerin. They start heading towards the exit, their exit unhindered even as Haerin’s manager, Taeyong, calls out to her. He scolds her, reminding her that her shift isn't over, his tone stern and warning. Taeyong even goes as far as to mention that this could be her last chance before he considers firing her. But Haerin and Jeno don’t seem deterred; they continue on their way, leaving Taeyong's warnings behind.
You wave goodbye to them, a small smile on your face, but then they abruptly stop and turn back towards you. Confusion furrows your brow as you narrow your eyes, trying to figure out what's going on. It takes you a moment, but then it dawns on you why they've stopped.
“Y/N.” Comes the voice, unmistakably his.
The moment you hear it, your heart skips a beat, then seems to stop altogether. It’s a voice that, despite time and distance, still holds power over you, a power that unsettles the very core of your being. Time feels like it grinds to a halt, each second stretching out interminably.
You turn, feeling a wave of anxiety surging through you. His eyes meet yours, and there's an unmistakable cockiness in his gaze, a stark contrast to the sadness that fills your own. He looks at you with an air of overconfidence, as if the past, with all its pain and turmoil he caused, was just a trivial chapter in his life.
As he looks into your eyes, you feel an overwhelming sense of vulnerability, as if his gaze alone has the power to make you feel small and insignificant. There, with him, are Yeeun, Yeji, and Mia, a sight that leaves you baffled and reeling.
What strikes you most is the casualness with which Mia kisses his neck, right there in front of you, as he maintains eye contact. The sight of hickies marking his skin only adds to the surreal nature of the encounter. "How have you been?" He asks with a smile that, despite everything, still manages to stir the familiar flutter of butterflies in your stomach.
Words fail you, your throat dry and constricted. Inside, you're grappling with a whirlwind of emotions - disbelief, hurt, confusion. It's hard to focus, hard to think straight, your breath shallow and your head spinning. The situation feels unreal, almost dreamlike in its absurdity.
"Have you missed me? Do you wanna stay with us tonight? We’re gonna drink and then –" Hyunjin continues, smiling as if oblivious to the impact of his words. Your mouth falls open in shock. How could he be so nonchalant, so insensitive? He's surrounded by three girls and he’s asking you this? You feel sick as you see his arm casually draped around Mia's waist, while Yeji continues to be affectionate with him.
You glance at Yeeun and notice she’s keeping her distance, her expression unreadable. The complexity of the situation, the brazenness of his invitation, and the hurt it evokes in you, all combine to leave you feeling sick to your stomach. It's a moment that starkly highlights the difference between your worlds now - his, seemingly carefree and indulgent; yours, weighed down by the remnants of a past that refuses to fully let go.
Instinctively, you turn around and almost jump when you see Jaemin. He arrived quietly, almost blending into the background, his presence as subtle as a shadow. You wonder how and when he got there. His eyes are only fixed in one direction.
Yeeun and Jaemin are locked in an intense gaze, their eyes communicating a storm of unspoken words and emotions. It's a connection so deep and palpable that it makes you feel like an outsider, intruding on a private moment. The intensity in Jaemin's eyes is still and profound, conveying a depth of shared history and understanding with Yeeun that is foreign to you.
Hyunjin's voice pulls you back, "Baby? Is that a yes? I know you missed it. Remember when we were together, we’d have more sex than everyone, we’d have more threesomes than -'' His words are crude, stirring a mix of anger and hurt within you.
"Don't you fucking dare.” You whisper, barely audible. Your voice is a mix of defiance and vulnerability, and you're not even sure he heard you.
Why do you feel this urge to nod in agreement, to say yes, to gravitate towards him despite the fact you know he’s gonna break your heart again? It’s a stark reminder of the complex, tangled feelings you still harbour for him. This internal struggle is a vivid reflection of how deeply you’ve been affected, how the remnants of what once was still hold a powerful sway over you. It’s frustrating and confusing, this pull towards someone who has caused you so much pain.
In a swift, protective gesture, Jeno steps forward, positioning himself between you and Hyunjin. He reaches out, his touch firm yet reassuring on your arm, as he gently pulls you behind him, ensuring you're out of harm's way. Then, with equal care, he tightens his grip on Haerin's hand, guiding her to stand behind him as well, forming a human shield with his body.
"What the fuck?" Jeno's voice cuts through the tension, his words loud and filled with genuine readiness to confront Hyunjin. "I’m gonna count to 10 and then –" He warns, his tone indicating he's serious and prepared to escalate if needed.
Hyunjin, however, just laughs in response, seemingly unfazed by Jeno's protective stance or his threats. The laughter is dismissive, a clear sign that Jeno's words aren't intimidating him or causing him to reconsider his actions. "Y/N –" Hyunjin calls out again, extending his arms towards you, as if expecting you to come to him willingly.
However before you can even think, Jaemin steps forward and his arm wraps around your back with a surprising gentleness. There's an immediate sense of security that envelops you. Your previously racing heartbeat begins to steady, syncing with the calm assurance emanating from him. When you look into his eyes, there's a depth of trust and understanding reflected back at you, a silent promise that he's there for you.
Your breathing, which had been shallow and uneven, gradually relaxes. The tension that had gripped you slowly ebbs away, replaced by a comforting ease. A soft smile forms on both your faces, a shared moment of relief and connection amidst the chaos. You find yourself naturally leaning into him, drawn by the warmth and safety of his presence. The eye contact between you is intense yet intimate.
But it's unexpected – this protective side of Jaemin, especially towards you. The intensity in his gaze as he stares down Hyunjin is unmistakable, and there's something undeniably compelling about it. It's as if in this moment, he's shedding layers of his usual composure, revealing a fiercer, more protective side that you hadn’t seen before.
"Come on, Y/N, let's go.” Jaemin says, his voice steady and resolute. His eyes lock onto yours, a silent assurance in their depths, as he takes your hand in his. With a gentle but firm grip, he guides you away, deliberately turning both of your backs to Hyunjin, dismissing him without a word.
In this simple action, Jaemin makes a statement – he's not interested in giving Hyunjin any more attention or power in this situation. His focus is solely on you, ensuring your well-being and comfort.
SCENE 3
You shuffle in his lap, finding a comfortable position with your legs on either side. His hands rest gently on your thighs. Your lips meet his in a soft, tender kiss. As the kiss continues, it grows in intensity, each of you responding to the other’s rhythm. Your breathing becomes heavier. Open mouthed kisses which are a mix of tenderness and a growing sense of urgency.
The kiss deepens, a messy exploration of each other's tongues that leaves you panting and wanting more. You can hear the soft click as he locks the car, ensuring your privacy and safety. He then adjusts his seat back slightly, creating more space for you both.
"Just wanna get high and fuck you.” You murmur, the words muffled against his lips. Both of you speak between kisses, your words interspersed with passionate, eager kisses that convey your impatience.
He smirks in response, a playful glint in his eyes. "So desperate for me, baby? Couldn't wait five minutes until we were in the house?" His tone teases, laced with affection. His kisses trailing down to your neck.
The second you sat in the car, you were so incredibly horny. You were pressing soft kisses to his neck and whispering to him about how sexy he was and how much he turned you on. The only appropriate reaction after Jaemin’s display in front of Hyunjin. All he did was chuckle and tell you to be patient.
You obviously weren't patient as now you’re gonna ride his cock in the car.
He’s got a condom now.
Your eyes widen and you pout. “It felt good when we fucked without it.”
He just laughs and shakes his head, putting it over his cock.
“You know I literally don’t get pregnant, me and Hyunjin – well you know, we used to do it without protection all the time.” You ramble and he sighs, smashing his lips against yours, quite literally kissing you to get you to shut up. His hands find their way underneath your skirt and he’s rubbing your thighs in small circles.
With a heavy moan, you sit down on his cock and begin fucking yourself on his cock, you begin a steady rise and fall, his hands tight on your hips which guides you. You’re pressed against his chest, your lip biting and eyes screwing in pleasure as you move up and down his cock, pretty noises spilling from your mouth.
You quite simply fuck yourself dumb on his cock. you ride him at such a rapid and fast pace, it has him in awe. Heavy breathing and moans fill the car, his mouth is wide open as he admires the view above him. your screwing your face in pleasure, the steady rise and fall on his cock, how tight your pussy feels. It's driving him crazy.
"Ahhh, fuck, feels - feels soooo good," you pant in Jaemin's ear, your voice laced with pleasure as he continues to drive you wild with desire.
His cock reaches a spot that makes you whine, his cock driving deeper and deeper inside your walls. “You’re so fucking tight.” He hisses in your ear, teeth gritted and eyes screwing in pleasure
You start getting tired, your body becoming heavy with desire as Jaemin continues his sensual assault. Your legs feel weak, and you begin to lose the strength to hold yourself up. Sensing your fatigue, he continues, he doesn't want to stop. He shifts his position slightly, taking more of your weight, and begins thrusting into you with even more determination.
“Baby, you were so eager to ride my cock, and now you can't even ride it properly?" he teases in a husky voice, his fingers digging into your hips as he continues his relentless pace, his voice dripping with desire.
SCENE 4, STUDYING, COCKWARMING + OPENING UP
You find yourself sitting on his cock, a lot.
Jaemin tends to always be buried in his university assignments and projects, his attention riveted to the screen, seemingly oblivious to the world around him, to you. You, craving his attention, couldn’t help but voice your dissatisfaction, a whine escaping you about his apparent neglect.
“Sit on my lap.” He suggested, without looking up from his work, his voice calm yet firm, a surprising solution to your complaint.
You looked up at him, your eyes wide with a mix of surprise and shyness. It was an unexpected invitation, one that caught you off guard. Yet, he didn’t waver, repeating himself more clearly, his voice taking on an irresistibly attractive and sexy edge, “Come and sit on my lap then. Don’t just sit there being needy, do something about it.”
His words sent a thrill through you, a mix of anticipation and excitement. You found yourself biting your bottom lip, a smile creeping onto your face despite the fluttering in your stomach. With a casual ease, he pushed his chair back further with his feet, creating space, and patted his lap as a clear invitation.
Standing up, you prepared to close the distance between you but as you took a step forward, your breath hitched audibly. Jaemin began to unbuckle his belt and unbutton a few buttons from his shirt. It froze you in your tracks. His eyes, intense and unwavering, never left yours, their depth pulling you in, making you squirm under his gaze. There you stood, momentarily paralyzed by the intensity of the moment, He smirks up at you, knowing and slightly teasing.
His cock is literally out, he’s running his hands up and down the length and he’s smiling at you so prettily, you hold the eye contact and give him a shy smile but when you look down, you see a monster length staring at you so the contrast slaps you in the face like whiplash.
"Sit down then, pretty girl.” He urged softly, almost whispering, his words imbued with an affectionate warmth that made your heart flutter.
You nod slowly, anticipation bubbling within as Jaemin's hands find their way to the delicate skin under your skirt, you let out a small whimper when he grips your hips gently yet securely. He pulls your underwear down slightly and then carefully pulls you closer, situating you on his cock.
You don’t know what this was but you didn’t expect this, to be sitting on him, on his cock, just staying still, there was no movement, just the warmth of being close. Your walls just sucked his cock in and it was such a tight, warm fit.
His focus returned to his studies, but now with hums of concentration and satisfaction. You sitting there on his cock, so prettily, clearly helped him with his work
As you watch Jaemin type away, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration, you're struck by the captivating intensity of his focus. He's the epitome of handsome, with sharp, defined features that are softened by the gentle curve of his lips, concentrated into a line of determination. His eyes, usually warm and inviting, now reflect the deep pools of his thoughts, flickering under long, dark lashes with every word he commits to the screen. The way his hair falls slightly over his forehead, just a bit tousled, adds a boyish charm to his otherwise structured appearance. The ambient light casts shadows that accentuate his strong jawline and the thoughtful crease between his brows, making him look like he’s been carved from marble, yet animated with the warm flush of life.
That’s when it dawns on you; despite the time you've spent together, there’s so much you don’t know about him. The basics, like what he studies, his favourite color, his favourite tv show. Sure, you knew his favourite sex position and kinks but that was completely different. You didn’t know him on a personal level.
He notices your intense gaze, the way your eyes are fixed on his features, not missing a single detail. There's a flicker of something in his eyes, a mixture of amusement and curiosity, as he meets your stare. It's as if he's inviting you to look deeper, beyond the surface, to discover the layers that make up who he truly is.
“You want something, baby?” You feel his voice vibrate against your chest, a low hum that makes you make the smallest movement on his cock but he just groan and shakes his head at you, his hands gripping your thighs and making you stay still.
Your hands play with his earrings, signalling your growing curiosity. "I’m just curious… about you.” You admit, looking for a deeper connection.
He laughs softly, open and encouraging. "Yeah? What do you wanna know?"
“What’s your major?” You start off, realising how crazy this sounds, you spend your days getting your back blown by him but you don’t even know what he studies. He's always engrossed in his university work so you assume he’s a dedicated and top student.
He looks away from his work to focus on you, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I’m doing a double major, criminology and fine arts. It’s more photography-based, but it's a lot more complex than just that." His explanation flows effortlessly, a clear indication of his passion. "I've always been fascinated by criminology, the complexity of it, and the deeper understanding it offers. It’s a field where I can communicate the way I want to, I don’t need to talk much, it’s all mostly through visuals. A photo says a thousand words, right?"
His eyes light up with the mention of his work, reflecting a depth you're eager to explore. "This degree teaches me to notice the overlooked details, to create something that might challenge perceptions or bring new insights. I want to make a difference, especially in the criminal justice world."
His passion is palpable, and you find yourself drawn in by his dedication. "Combining criminology with fine arts isn’t common, but that uniqueness is what I think can be my strength." His voice carries a confidence that only adds to his allure.
"There’s a certain beauty in understanding the complexities of crime and human behaviour, and even more so in capturing the emotions and stories behind them through art. I want to find and share that beauty."
You can’t help it. you moan. There's just something so sexy hearing about a man so dedicated to his interests, so complex and multifaceted. Seeing his passions and dedications made you understand him more, or atleast feel like you understand him more.
You realize how perfectly his degree mirrors his personality: mysterious, intellectually deep, and emotionally intelligent. His artistic pursuits show a creative soul that sees the world through a unique lens, combining a sensitivity and appreciation for beauty with a bold, unconventional approach to his studies. This blend of social awareness, empathy, and deep thinking not only makes him fascinating but deeply attractive.
Listening to him, you understand that Jaemin is not just another student; he's someone who truly wants to leave a mark on the world, using his unique perspective and talents. His confidence and individuality shine through, making you admire him all the more.
He’s a captivating blend of social awareness and empathy, driven by a deep concern for societal issues. His studies reflect a profound desire to understand and improve the world, grounding him in compassion and thoughtfulness. As a reflective and insightful thinker, he engages in intellectually stimulating conversations, showcasing his subtle boldness and confidence. Unafraid to deviate from traditional academic paths, Jaemin's unique approach and individuality make him irresistibly appealing.
As you absorb the depth and breadth of Jaemin's ambitions, a spontaneous sound escapes you, a moan of admiration and something more, something deeper. His confusion is immediate, eyebrows arching in a silent question as he pauses, turning to face you fully. His voice, a deep and breathy lull, wraps around you like a warm blanket in the cool air of the room. "Why are you moaning?" He whispers, the words vibrating directly into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
"You’re – you’re just really hot.” You confess, the words tumbling out in a blend of awe and sincerity. Without thinking, you wrap your arms around his shoulders. You lean in to kiss his forehead, a gesture so intimate and tender, Jaemin reacts in a way that sends your heart soaring. His eyes close for a moment, savouring the touch, a soft, content sigh escaping him. When he opens them again, they're alight with a giddy, infectious smile, the kind that makes his whole face glow, the kind that's impossible not to return. His breathing, low and steady, syncs with yours, a harmonious rhythm that seems to pull you even closer together.
“You work hard. Well done.” Your words are an affirmation, a gentle reminder of the faith you have in his efforts and the future they’re building towards. This will become something of a personal mission for you—to always remind him that his dedication will be worth it. You’ve never been so close to someone so motivated, so deeply attuned to their aspirations.
“This is why I'm being so good, just letting you study without distracting you. I've been a good girl and just sat here, on your cock, without moving when all I wanna do is ride your cock. you can feel how wet I am, right?”
He tuts. “I don't call bouncing up and down being a ‘good girl?’”
You moan, smashing his lips against his. Your lips move with an urgency that speaks volumes of pent-up desire. He kisses you back with intensity, punctuated by the soft sounds of mutual moans that vibrate through the connection of mouths. Your hand finds its way into his hair, fingers tangling, pulling gently to bring him even closer, ensuring no space remains. His arms wrap securely around your waist, pulling you against him as you grind onto him, your hips making soft motions as your ass meets his thighs, his cock thrusting deeper and deeper into you.
THE ONE WHERE HE EATS YOU OUT
“Do you want me to eat you out, baby? You want me to take your stress away?” Before you can even answer he dives into you, sweet eyes looking up at you with a soft smile, pressing open mouthed kisses to your inner thighs before pulling you lace panties down.
He dove into your pussy, forcing your legs open, his tongue lapping at your pussy and your folds, sucking and licking all the wetness and juice with one long stripe. You moan out heavily, wrapping your legs around his neck and caging him there, your hands fisted in his hair.
He leaves mouthy and wet kisses on your clit, sucking and sucking on the skin and making you moan over and over. Your orgasm was coming close and you’re about to scream out his name but then you fucking hear the front door open.
Hana drops her bag upon seeing you, her eyes widening in surprise. You realise there's no time to hide the situation. Thankfully, she has no way of knowing it's Jaemin due to the way he's positioned and the sofa's arrangement. In a supportive and enthusiastic manner, Hana puts her thumb up to you and mouths her congratulations, seemingly unaware of the true situation
You find yourself wondering why she still stands there, a grin playing on her lips as she nods enthusiastically. Her eyes are fixed on you with a sense of pride that seems to radiate from her, a pride that's uniquely her own and difficult to put into words.
Jaemin, like the menace that he is, continues eating you out even though he’s aware there’s an audience. He’s lapping at your folds more roughly, biting and spitting on your pussy in hopes to make you scream his name, he’s trying to make you scream his name. His tongue delves deeper and deeper as he thrusts his fingers in and out. Your eyes roll back, his name was this close to slipping from your tongue.
Jaemin smirks at how you try to conceal your sounds. His breath was a whisper that sends shivers down your spine. His voice, barely above a murmur, resonates with a depth that you can hardly hear—you feel it, a tangible vibration against your skin. “If you were gonna end up silent anyway then we should've fucked infront of them.”
Jaemin startles you as he raises his head slightly. You quickly guide his head back down, but then he attempts to rise again, wearing a smirk. His eyes intensify with desire as he gazes up at you, giving you the slyest grin. Despite the slightly perverse and twisted nature of the situation, he finds pleasure in your heightened state of arousal due to his actions. Even though it's kind of sick and twisted he loves seeing you so scared because of his doing
THE ONE WHERE YOU’RE FUCKING ON THE BALCONY
You’re wearing the mini skirt, it’s slutty, it’s sexy.
It’s too slutty to be yours, it’s Haerin’s.
She beamed with a glow when you asked for her help, her eyes sparkling with a mix of mischief and delight. Without hesitation, she dives into her closet and emerges with the boldest piece she owns—a mini skirt that's daring in every sense of the word. It's the kind of outfit that blurs the lines between outrageously sexy and boldly confident.
Your eyes widen at the sight of it. The material is sheer, leaving little to the imagination, a bold statement piece that's as see-through as it is alluring. Slipping it on, you can't help but marvel at the transformation. The skirt clings in all the right places, its risqué charm amplified by its translucency and the way it perfectly hugs your curves. It's a far cry from your usual style, but in this moment, it feels just right.
To match the daring vibe of the skirt, you opt for a top that's equally provocative. The ensemble comes together in a daring display of confidence, each piece complementing the other to create a look that's undeniably hot. Your makeup and hair are styled to perfection, each detail adding to the allure of the outfit.
Thoughts of Jaemin flutter through your mind, sending waves of giddy anticipation coursing through you. You hope he’ll find you pretty. As you give yourself one final look in the mirror, confidence surges within you.
Jeno's arrival to pick up you and Haerin was expected, but Jaemin's presence alongside him was a pleasant surprise that sent a jolt of excitement through you.
The moment Haerin and Jeno greeted each other with a kiss, a sense of awkwardness washed over you. You stood slightly apart, an observer to their easy display of affection, feeling a mix of happiness for them and a silent yearning for a similar connection with Jaemin. Your situation with him was a closely guarded secret, one that you weren't ready to unveil.
As you felt the pull towards Jaemin, something shifted within you. With a newfound boldness, you clasped your hands together and rest them by your side, a gesture of anticipation, and subtly leaned his way. Your head tilted, a silent invitation, as your lips curved into a smile, a confident and alluring display.
As Jaemin's gaze intensely sweeps over you, a wave of heat rushes through your body, so palpable that the two of you almost moan out loud. The tension between you both was electric, you’re so happy Haerin and Jeno are too absorbed in each other to notice.
His eyes, dark and focused, scrutinize every detail with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine. You catch him biting his bottom lip, a silent yet unmistakable sign of his approval, as he takes in the sight of you. The outfit you've chosen for the evening accentuates your figure perfectly, hugging you in just the right places to showcase your curves in the most flattering light.
Suddenly, Jeno's attention shifts towards you, breaking the electric tension. With an enthusiastic whistle, he grabs your hand, lifting it above your head to spin you around in a playful showcase. "Look at you.” He smiles, his voice filled with a mix of pride and admiration, the pitch of his whistle echoing his excitement. He's always been your biggest supporter, and tonight is no exception.
Meanwhile, Jaemin remains a silent observer, his expression unreadable yet intensely focused on you. Despite his quiet, his eyes communicate volumes, locked on your form with a clarity that's both thrilling and a little intimidating. His nonchalant demeanor contrasts sharply with the keen interest evident in his gaze.
Jeno drives back to his house which marks the start of an interesting evening.
Jeno's backyard was buzzing with life, lit up by string lights that added a cozy glow to the evening. It was the perfect spot for a barbecue, with everyone gathered around, enjoying the inviting green space. The smell of food on the grill filled the air, hinting at the fun and laughter that was to come.
In one corner, Hana and Eric had cocooned themselves into a couple's chair, their world reduced to the space between them as they shared kisses, seemingly oblivious to the buzz around them. Donghyuck, on the other hand, embraced solitude on the outskirts, content with his crisps, his presence a quiet testament to the diversity of the group's dynamics. Meanwhile, Shotaro and Wonbin, having recently bridged the gap of a misunderstanding, were lost in their own bubble, their laughter and shared glances lighting up the space around them.
Near the grill, stood Jeno and Jaemin, they were cooking all the meat. You watched, perhaps for the first time with true attention, as their interaction unfolded—a symphony of small laughs, shared tasks, and an easy silence that spoke volumes of their bond. The way they moved together, anticipating each other's needs and sharing the workload with an unspoken understanding, was evidence enough of the deep-rooted friendship they shared. The small, almost imperceptible exchanges—a nod here, a chuckle there, the passing of a spatula or a beer without a word — seeing their bond warmed your heart. They did truly love each other.
While Haerin and you engaged in gossip, standing across from Jeno and Jaemin, an attempt to help with the barbecue was dismissed by Jeno, he just told you both to go, citing he didn't want his garden to catch fire.
You’re being slutty on purpose. You boobs were out. You bend down intentionally in front of him, which drew a sigh from him. He tried to brush it off as a reaction to accidentally burning his hand on the grill, which actually did happen, a mishap resulting from his distraction by you rather than the task at hand. Jeno, his fucking nurse, quickly stepped in to care for him, wrapping the wound and even kissing his palm in a comforting gesture. He rolls his eyes and Haerin brings her palm out and expects him to do the same for her even though she wasn’t hurt.
The food is ready, and as everyone gathers around, you can't help but admire Jeno's attentiveness. With a careful diligence, he ensures that everyone is served before even thinking of his own plate. He moves among you, distributing plates and customizing each serving according to personal preferences. When he reaches you, there's a soft pat on your head and a smile that warms you from the inside out, especially when you see he's remembered exactly how you like your burger—with extra cheese and no gherkins. It's these small acts of care that make the moment special.
Jeno then turns his attention to Jaemin, who has been somewhat neglectful of his plate. He silently places a chicken wing directly into his mouth. Haerin, too, receives a tender moment of attention when she chokes on her burger. Jeno is quick to offer her water through a straw, pressing a kiss to her forehead in reassurance. Her embarrassment at the mess she's made is met with his gentle coo and shake of his head, assuring her of her beauty despite the sauce smeared around her mouth. He cleans it up with his thumb, a gesture so intimate and affectionate, followed by a soft kiss that seems to say everything words cannot.
You haven’t been drinking yet you feel high, euphoric. You’re completely sober and that’s the best part of it all. A few months ago you would’ve never thought you’d reach such happiness without being drunk but here you are, with your best friend, smiling until your cheeks ache.
The joy that fills you is genuine, a kind of happiness that’s both new and exhilarating. Despite not having touched a drop of alcohol, you find yourself riding a wave of euphoria, the kind that only true contentment can bring. It’s a realisation that hits you with the force of a revelation—once, the thought of achieving such a state of bliss without the aid of drinks would have seemed impossible. Yet, here you are, basking in the warmth of genuine happiness, sharing moments of laughter and connection with your best friend. The smiles that stretch across your faces, so wide that they make your cheeks ache, are a testament to the pure, unadulterated joy of the moment.
You an i’m d Haerin are dancing sexily, slut drops, touching each other closely, hands on tits, ass, giggling, you were kissing. You’re vaguely aware of the attention you’re attracting, particularly from Jeno and Jaemin.
Jaemin’s expression is hard to read, always enigmatic, giving nothing away. He watches with his usual cool, detached air, adding to his mysterious aura. Jeno’s gaze, on the other hand, is intense, you’re not sure whether he wanted to join in or punish you, leaving you guessing about his thoughts.
He clearly makes up his mind as suddenly, he comes along and the three of you are dancing closely, they’re both so wasted, that’s why the three of you grind on each other, hands touching all places, hot breath fanning over each other’s faces, you’re sure Jeno was slapping both of your asses at one point.
The atmosphere is a bit surreal, and you can't help but wonder how you've found yourself in this situation. Jeno, surprisingly, is dividing his attention between you and Haerin, and it's an unexpected turn of events. He starts by placing his hands on both of your shoulders, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
Slowly, he pivots Haerin around and lets his hands glide down to her hips, making sure you can still feel his touch as he pulls her closer to him. The sensation is electrifying, and you're not sure where this is leading. Then, with a playful assertiveness, he gives her ass a cheeky slap.
Before you know it, Jeno positions himself between both of you, sandwiched between you and Haerin, letting the two of you grind into him. She's right in front of him, arching her neck as he leaves open mouthed kisses, not completely neglecting you though, his fingers move to caress your thighs.
Passions ignite in the room as tongues entwine and hands explore. You sensually slide your hand down Jeno's body, your fingers dancing down to his crotch. The chemistry is palpable, and you can't help but feel your own heart racing.
Haerin and you share a passionate kiss while Jeno moans in pleasure, his eyes locked on the erotic display before him. His hand rubs his bulge through his pants, and the intensity in the room continues to build.
Jeno's desire reaches its peak as he tightly fists your hair, pulling you back roughly to grant him access to Haerin's eager lips. Their mouths collide, exchanging a torrent of saliva and heated kisses. It's a frenzied scene filled with raw desire and longing.
But then, Haerin moves away from Jeno and turns her attention to you, planting sweet pecks on your lips, the two of you giggling and giving each other giddy eyes. The contrast between the intense passion and the soft, affectionate moments is a tantalizing blend of sensations that leaves you breathless.
You and Haerin had playfully shared your desires about making out with each other before, acknowledging each other's attractiveness, you both found each other hot! This moment feels different. It's serious and intense.
Now, you find yourselves on the couch, straddling each other. You’re on top, and your lips meet in a fiery, passionate kiss. The sensation of her tongue, soft lips, and electric chemistry between you leaves you captivated. You can understand why Jeno is so enamored with her.
But suddenly, you're yanked away, and Jeno takes your place. He grabs Haerin's neck harshly, eliciting a loud moan from her,, his kisses were passionate and forceful. Smooching noises fill the room as Jeno dominates the moment, leaning over and caging her against the plush cushions, his legs either side of her and he’s not holding back on being rough.
Haerin senses your hesitation and quickly pulls you onto Jeno's lap while still engaging in a heated make-out session with him. Together, they shower you with affection, covering you in passionate kisses and leaving hickeys on your skin. Jeno, driven by intense desire, unzips his pants, his length ready as he runs it through his hands.
Before Jeno can even do anything with his cock, the room is abruptly pierced by a voice that commands immediate attention. Jaemin, who until now had remained silent, suddenly asserts himself with a firm, "Not on this couch!!" His intervention is swift and decisive, drawing the eyes of everyone present.
Your gaze meets Jaemin, and the intensity you find in his eyes is startling. There's something about the way he looks at you—commanding, and undeniably attractive—that sends a thrill through you. The mixture of authority in his voice and the dark promise in his gaze stirs something deep within you, amplifying your already heightened arousal.
The realisation that Jaemin has been observing this whole time makes you moan. His attention, previously undetected, now feels like a spotlight. His gaze, heavy with an unspoken challenge, leaves you pondering his thoughts and the nature of his interest in the dynamics at play.
You decide to head to the bathroom to freshen up, trying to regain your composure. You smooth out your hair and touch up your makeup, attempting to collect your thoughts. But as you open the bathroom door, you're met with the dark and piercing gaze of Jaemin.
His expression isn't one of happiness. Instead, a certain intensity emanates from his eyes that sends a shiver down your spine. The look in his eyes makes your insides throb with desire for him, overpowering any other thoughts. He had been on your mind all night, and now, being in such close proximity to him, your longing for Jaemin becomes undeniable and overwhelming. You only want him. The tension in the bathroom seems to escalate, the steaminess of the situation too palpable to ignore.
Your lips crash together in a searing, insatiable kiss, tongues tangling in a fervent dance. His hands roam your body, gripping and squeezing, while your nails dig into his back, pulling him impossibly closer.
With legs wrapped around his waist, you grind against each other, feeling his arousal hard and insistent against your core. Every touch, every bite, every growl against your lips sends shivers of pleasure down your spine.
Jaemin's mouth trails down your neck, nipping and sucking, marking you as his own, covering the marks that Haerin and Jeno had left on you and. Tutting in your ear, Jaemin's voice drips with desire and dominance. "Gonna act like a slut like that again, baby? Hm? You’ll see what I do to you." His words send shivers down your spine as he presses his body closer, asserting his control.
Your breaths grow heavy, matching the rhythm of your bodies moving against each other. His fingers find their way under your clothes, tracing lines of fire along your skin, making you gasp and moan. He’s spanking your ass as you moan into his mouth, the wetness between your thighs becoming palpable.
Locked in a heated gaze, your eyes reveal the raw hunger within. Bodies pressed together, the friction only intensifies the pulsating need between you. You feel consumed by a wild, untamed passion, surrendering to the magnetic pull of desire.
"Trying to flaunt your sweet pussy to everyone else?" Jaemin's voice oozes dark desire as he speaks close to your ear. He cages your face in his hands, forcing you to meet his intense gaze. "Answer me."
You shake your head, your eyes wide, and your lips trembling with a whimper and a pout.
“I don't believe you."
Jaemin's intentions become unmistakably clear as he manhandles you, forcefully guiding you until you're pressed against the balcony railing. You glance around and realise that you're on the balcony overlooking the garden, he positions you exactly how he desires, and you surrender willingly to his commands.
Coming up behind you, he arches your neck and presses passionate kisses upon your skin, leaving a trail of fiery sensation in his wake. His desire is palpable, and the mask he's worn for so long begins to slip away, revealing the raw, passionate intensity beneath
Jaemin makes quick work of removing your clothes, his hand delivering sharp slaps to your ass in rapid succession. The mixture of pleasure and pain sends shivers down your spine.
"You want everyone to see what a fucking slut you are? Now they will.” He whispers in your ear, sending a thrilling jolt through your body. The audaciousness of this encounter only makes it more arousing, and you can't believe how turned on you are right now. Is he really this brazen? Fucking you in a place where you could easily be caught, even though your situationship is a secret?
That’s hot.
Your moan betrays your excitement, your body burning with desire as Jaemin's cock thrusts relentlessly into you. He's pounding you on the balcony, your front pressed against the railings, and he ensures your arms are held above your head without even having to use physical force. You remember his earlier warning: no moving allowed, and you obediently comply like the good girl you are, relishing your role as the willing submissive.
With one of your legs held up by Jaemin, you're pinned against the balcony's railings, your body entirely at his mercy. “Such a whore, acting like this all night in front of everyone.”
Jaemin revels in taking you from behind, the sight of your ass bouncing against his throbbing erection driving him wild. With one hand gripping your hair, he pulls your head back, arching your back sensually. The other hand firmly presses against your lower back, guiding you to meet his every thrust.
He forcefully drags your head forward, fistful of your hair in his grip as he forces you to position there, you hold back a moan as you see everyone in the garden downstairs, your friends are below you. All of them still in the garden and if they look up they'd see you and him fucking, they’ll see his hands that slap your titties and his dick plunging in and out of you.
“Doll, you have to stay quiet, you don't want our friends to know our little secret.” His voice, usually low and commanding, becomes a seductive whisper, sending shivers down your spine. There’s a hint of a mischievous smirk playing on his lips as he savors the effect of his words on you.
Yet, despite the need for secrecy, Jaemin's primal desire overcomes any semblance of restraint. He thrusts into you even harder, igniting a fire of arousal that burns hotter with every passing moment. The walls of your body tighten around him as pleasure intensifies, and the possibility of being discovered fuels the urgency of your passionate connection.
You get off on the fact that you could be caught anytime, you and Jaemin love the thrill. As he whispers in your ear, urging you to make more noise, he maintains his firm grip on your throat.
As the intensity between you and Jaemin reaches its peak, he relentlessly continues, thrusting into you with a determination that over-stimulates your senses. Your ass bounces against his cock, creating a rhythm that leaves you utterly spent and breathless. He's fucking you with such intensity that it's as if he's driving you to the brink of euphoria, making you feel high from his touch alone.
With every plunge of his cock, your snug walls grip him tighter, as if unwilling to let go of the pleasure he provides. Jaemin's playful cooing adds an exhilarating layer to the experience, igniting a fiery passion within you. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the air, accompanied by heavy moans and growls of raw desire, making it abundantly clear that this encounter is driven by an insatiable hunger for each other.
He continues to overstimulate you. He's driving you to the brink, making you feel intoxicated with desire. His cock plunges in and out, your cum dripping down your thighs and making a mess. With a hint of teasing in his voice, he asks. "Can't you take it?"
In the heat of the moment, you're completely absorbed, unaware that your friends below have fallen silent. Little do you know, they're fully aware of what's happening on the balcony, and their cheers of encouragement fill the air. Despite their enthusiasm, they remain oblivious to the identity of the mystery man who's fucking you, failing to connect the dots as you and Jaemin are the only ones missing from the gathering.
As your friends look up, Jaemin drags you inside and to the floor, and before they can see anything, he fucks you there instead. “Shut the fuck up, slut.” Jaemin slaps your ass as you squirt all over him
He holds you close, cooing softly in your ear as you come down from your high. His gentle kisses and tender touch help soothe you. He wipes away the remaining tears and ensures you're comfortable and clean.
Moments later, you make your way down to the garden, a slight flush on your cheeks. You enter with an air of casual composure, trying to act as if nothing out of the ordinary has occurred. Both you and Jaemin make an effort to maintain your cool, not arriving together to avoid any unnecessary attention.
It's quite evident that you've had your back blown out, with the afterglow still lingering on you. As you walk in, the cheers from your friends greet you, and Haerin plants a friendly kiss on your cheek. Hana attempts to lead you three away for some girls' talk, but the guys are being insufferable. Their taunting and teasing know no bounds, with even Shotaro mimicking your moans, and Donghyuck giving you an overly friendly pat on the back.
Among the crowd, two individuals stand out for their unusual behaviour. Jaemin remains nonchalant and seemingly unbothered, standing away from the chaos as if he hadn't just fucked you dumb. You envy him, how is he standing there like nothing intense had happened just mere moments ago? You also can't help but be suspicious of Jeno. He's typically the one to lead the teasing, but instead, he gazes at you with a proud smirk that leaves you questioning his intentions.
The air is thick with curiosity as your friends huddle together, each one throwing out guesses about the mysterious man's identity. Among the murmurs, Shotaro speaks up—sweet, innocent Shotaro. You adore him, yet there's a part of you wishing for his silence in this moment.
"Hey, Jaemin disappeared when we heard Y/N up there.” He remarks, pointing out Jaemin's absence just as your fucking had begun. The room falls into a tense silence, anticipation hanging in the air as everyone seems on the cusp of laughter or teasing, their faces a mix of shock and amusement.
Your eyes dart to Jaemin, panic flickering within you. But Jaemin, ever composed, manages his emotions with a tight control. He never slips. He subtly shakes his head at you, a silent reassurance not to worry. His gaze then shifts to Jeno, exchanging a brief nod—a moment of silent communication that leaves you more baffled than ever.
Jeno, with his impeccable timing, chimes in, "Jaem couldn’t have been the guy; around that time, I sent him out to buy some more potatoes for those chips you guys gobbled up." It's a smooth save. Everyone seems to accept Jeno's explanation without hesitation. And truly, who wouldn't? He has always had a way with words, his ability to weave believable stories making him a convincing, smooth talker.
You let out a sigh of relief, though the knot in your stomach only tightens. You know it's only a matter of time before the truth might come out, and the thought sends waves of anxiety through you. For now, though, Jeno's quick thinking has steered the suspicion away, granting you a temporary reprieve from the spotlight.
THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE FINDS OUT (ONE)
“Is it Xiaojun?”
You shake your head, not paying much attention to the girls who are growing increasingly curious and persistent in their questioning. Instead, your focus remains fixed on your phone screen as you type away. It was Jaemin on the other end, if you weren’t being fucked by him then you were always sexting, you had become obbessed with each other.
“Who is it then?” Haerin’s voice carries a hint of frustration as she cries out, They’re so goddamn nosy. They’re trying to figure out who you’re seeing, clearly growing exasperated with your evasive responses.
They know you’re seeing someone as you’ve been caught several times but luckily they don’t know that it’s Jaemin. You’re intent on maintaining this privacy until you and Jaemin can figure out your situation. Staying discreet with Jaemin seems like the best course of action, avoiding drama and unwanted attention.
It’s your mistake to relish and sigh in their silence and accept it as peace. “Who’s fucking dick is that?????” Hana's voice escalates into a scream and Haerin's eyes nearly bulge out of its eye sockets, you realise that somehow, they've stumbled upon a photo of Jaemin on your phone, although his face wasn’t in it. It was his cock.
Haerin is full on moaning and asking you “how can you handle all that?”
So why is that photo on your phone? You had many photos of his cock on your phone but this particular one had an explanation. The truth is, Jaemin had sent you that photo while he was in a lecture, fully aware of your desires, and he decided to engage in some sexting to tease and please you. The real mistake was indulging in it while sitting on the same sofa as Haerin and Hana.
You let out a yelp in panic, blurting out, "I'm just looking at porn!" in an attempt to deflect their suspicions. However, Haerin and Hana remain skeptical, shaking their heads and exchanging knowing looks.
Hana wears a mischievous smile as she responds, "We will find out." It seems like they're not buying your excuse and are determined to get to the bottom of the situation.
THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE FINDS OUT (TWO)
Hana turns to Jeno, her face a canvas of confusion and suspicion. "Where the hell is Y/N?" she demands, expecting answers.
Jeno shrugs off the question with a casual "I dunno." Yeah he does. He knows that you’re getting your back blown out by Jaemin. He's known this whole time. He’s known since the very first time.
Hana, still in the dark and growing more perplexed by the minute, continues to probe. "She's being really suspicious, don't you think? She never hides anything from us, so why isn't she telling us who she's seeing?" She questions, her voice filled with confusion.
Jeno, attempting to divert the conversation, mumbles, "It's probably a social experiment.” His comment unexpectedly draws laughter from Hana, though she hadn't intended to find humor in the situation.
Just as Hana ponders Jeno's words, her attention is suddenly captured by a sight through the sliding doors that connect the outdoor garden to the kitchen. She waves frantically, trying to get someone's attention, and before she can even begin to question why you are here, in Jeno's house, without any apparent reason, she lets out a loud scream, her hands flying up to cover her face in shock. "Y/N and Jaemin? What are they doing? AHHHH! AHHHHHH!"
“My eyes… my eyes!!!!!” She screams, unable to believe her eyes.
"Jaemin and Y/N? Why is he touching her like that? What the HELL?" Hana exclaims, her voice rising in disbelief and shock.
"I know! I know!" Jeno repeats, trying to calm Hana down, mindful that Haerin is upstairs and oblivious to the unfolding drama.
"You know?" Hana shrieks, her voice piercing the air.
"Yes, I know! And now you know. Obviously, Jaemin and Y/N... but Haerin doesn't, neither does anyone else in the group, so please, you have to stop screaming." Jeno implores, his tone serious. "You need to keep this a secret. He adds, stressing the importance of discretion in this unexpected and delicate situation.
Hana, feeling a sense of urgency, breathes frantically and expresses her needs. “I need to tell Eric.”
Jeno, wanting to keep her calm, suggests. “Just pretend I’m Eric, I literally look like Eric.”
Hana nods in agreement and begins speaking as if she’s addressing Eric. Her confession takes an unexpected turn as she admits. “You do look like Eric, and it freaking creeps me out. Sometimes it makes me wanna make out with you.” Her voice drops to a low whisper, and she realizes too late that she’s voiced her thoughts aloud.
Jeno, raising his eyebrows in surprise, awkwardly coughs in response. Hana quickly regrets her words and mumbles, “Yeah, just forget I said that.” Jeno nods in agreement, and the two of them part ways.
THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE FINDS OUT (THREE, FIN)
Hana and Jeno share a smirk and shake their heads at the noise coming from upstairs. To them, you sound like a bitch in heat, you and Jaemin were so incredibly loud.
There's a moment of silence as Hana and Jeno exchange amused glances, reveling in the audacity of your and Jaemin's fucking. Then, Haerin enters through the front door, dropping a kiss on Jeno's forehead and bringing a bag of food just for herself.
Curious about your whereabouts, Haerin asks, "Where's Y/N?"
Jeno mumbles casually, leaning back in his seat. “You can’t hear her, baby? She’s upstairs, fucking Jaem.”
Hana, with her boba straw poised at her lips, widens her eyes in surprise and nearly chokes on her drink. “I thought it was a secret—”
Jeno, still with that nonchalant demeanour, interrupts her. “I’m sick of it.”
“Sick of them?” Hana questions, genuinely curious.
Jeno clarifies his annoyance, his tone filled with humor, “Sick of losing sleep because of them. Hopefully, now they can just get it on in public instead of when I’m trying to to go bed.”
Hana adds teasingly, “Please, don’t act as if you and Haerin, and Jaem and Y/N don’t have a competition to see who can be the loudest.”
Jeno retorts, a playful glint in his eye, “And you’re forgetting you and Eric? You two are the loudest!”
Hana and Jeno fall silent in their playful bickering when they hear the unmistakable sounds of screaming coming from upstairs. It's not just any scream; it's you and Haerin.
Hana chuckles and remarks, "Seems like Haerin is copying Y/N."
Jeno and Hana share a laugh as they make their way upstairs, curiosity piqued by the unexpected commotion unfolding in your room. The sight that greets them is nothing short of comical. Haerin lets out an audible scream, her disbelief apparent on her face.
You are equally shocked. Why is everyone in your room? You had a heart attack, Jaemin’s dick was plunging in and out of you and then suddenly the door opened with a loud scream. As your friends stare at you and Jaemin, you realize that there's no way to hide or explain the situation. The truth is out, and you can feel the weight of their gazes on you.
As Jeno gives Jaemin a kiss on the head, you finally connect the dots, a realisation dawning upon you. An epiphany hits you like a ton of bricks, and a light bulb goes off in your head. You jab Jaemin's chest, your voice incredulous as you exclaim. Jeno had known all along. It makes so much sense now.
"Jaem!! You told him!!"
Jaemin, taken aback by your accusation, hastily defends himself. "I swear I didn't!"
“I was the one who planted this idea in your heads and you thought I wouldn’t know?” Jeno smirks, an immense pride in him as he looks at the two of you.
(That wasn’t true though, Jaemin had told Jeno early on, just like he tells Jeno everything.)
Haerin's eyes light up, and she moves to the bed to hug you tightly in her arms, placing sloppy kisses on your head and Jaemin's. "So you're dating????" She squeals excitedly, clapping her hands. But suddenly, her enthusiasm dies down, replaced by confusion.
You and Jaemin choke on your words, shaking your heads and immediately denying it. Haerin's mouth widens in disbelief, and she struggles to find the right words. Hana steps in, voicing her confusion. "I don't get it? I thought you guys were — Jeno told me you guys were dating."
Jeno, not wanting to get involved, quickly defends his name. "I said nothing."
Hana and Haerin share a look that fills you with unease; their silence is unsettling. They suddenly leave the room, only to return a few moments later. You groan and palm your head when you see Haerin holding an 'intervention' banner in her hand.
THE INTERVENTION
You find yourself awkwardly seated in the center of the room, suddenly the focal point of everyone's attention. This unsolicited spotlight wasn't something you chose; rather, it's the result of an impromptu intervention masterminded by Hana. She, with a flair for drama, unveils a handmade sign that declares ‘intervention’ in bold, uneven letters. With a mix of persuasion and sheer force of will, she and Haerin manage to get Jaemin and Jeno to hang the sign, although it dangles crookedly above you.
Hana and Haerin stand before you, their arms crossed in an attempt to convey seriousness. You press your lips together, fighting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, feeling a bizarre mix of annoyance and fondness for their concern.
"Do not laugh." Haerin commands, her voice sharp, it immediately makes your lips fall flat.
However, this facade quickly dissolves the moment your gaze locks with Jaemin’s. The curve of his eyes and the subtle smirk tugging at his lips are the triggers that unleash your laughter. The sound of your combined laughter echoes off the walls. Jaemin's expression is a perfect blend of amusement and complicity, his attractiveness magnified in the moment. He looks effortlessly handsome, his casual posture and the slight smirk playing on his lips adding to his allure.
Hana prepares to dive into the heart of the matter, her expression serious yet tinged with concern. She shakes her head and clears her throat, signaling the start of what promises to be an in-depth interrogation. “So, what is this?” She probes, her gaze shifting between you and Jaemin, accompanied with her hand moving back and forth.
“An intervention.” Jaemin responds unusually, he normally wouldn’t say a word but he catches on to your reaction and he realises it’s worth it. The room is filled with the sound of your laughter, and it’s the cutest thing Jaemin has heard in a while. Your laughter lights up the space, your mouth forming a beautiful smile as you giggle. The sweetness of the moment warms Jaemin’s heart, and he can’t help but cherish it. As he watches you, he can’t deny the growing affection he feels for you. He adores you more with each passing moment, silently falling for you in the most unexpected of times.
“We have too many interventions.” You say once your laughter has subsided but Hana and Haerin will not allow you to shift the focus once more.
“I’ll ask again, what are you guys?”
The room feels charged, the anticipation building. When neither of you responds immediately, Hana’s impatience shows with a disapproving tut. Deciding to cut to the chase, she bluntly asks, “Are you guys fucking?” Her directness catches you off guard and you suddenly start choking on your tongue.
Jaemin, ever the embodiment of calm under pressure, answers with his characteristic dry wit. “Obviously, did you not walk in on me pounding into her like 5 minutes ago?” His nonchalance is both infuriating and disarming.
Haerin, picking up where Hana left off, wears a hopeful smile, her eyes alight with curiosity. “So, you’re dating?” She ventures, her optimism palpable. Her eyes light up and she breaks out into a grin, a reaction you quite simply do not understand as she knows you’re not dating.
The question sends you and Jaemin into a fit of awkward chuckles, a symphony of refusals and denials echoing around the room, you’d keep denying it until they believed you. You try to convince, almost too vehemently, that dating isn’t on the cards. “Hold on.” You interject, laughter breaking through the tension. “Just because we’re fucking doesn’t mean we’re dating. Don’t be crazy.”
Your attempt at humour does little to appease Hana and Haerin. They both launch into a series of scolding and telling off, their words a mix of worry. They warn you that you’re being reckless in your actions and that heartache will follow. They plead you to think this through. Meanwhile, Jeno sits quietly to the side, observing the proceedings with a silent chuckle, his laid-back demeanour a stark contrast to the animated energy of Hana and Haerin.
"So, what are you guys? Friends with benefits?" Haerin asks, her hope running out. The question hangs in the air, prompting immediate reactions from both you and Jaemin. You both shake your heads quickly, clearly unsettled by the label. The very thought seems off-putting to you both.
"We were never even friends.” You clarify, laying down the stark reality of your relationship with Jaemin.
He softly added, "More like strangers with benefits.”
You shake your head, quick to counter. "No.” You say to him simply and plainly. You didn’t like the idea of only being of use to him for your body. Friends with benefits wasn’t something you ever wanted to engage in.
The room falls silent at Hana's next question, "So what are you?" Hana's question leaves you speechless, a silence enveloping you as the words hang heavily in the air. What are we? The thought echoes in your mind, a question without an easy answer. As you glance over at Jaemin, searching for any sign of clarity in his expression, you're met with the same uncertainty. The ambiguity of your relationship, undefined and unlabeled, looms large between you. It's confusing. You're both aware of the lack of clear communication between you, yet the good sex keeps bringing you back to each other.
Faced with Hana's probing gaze, you deflect, turning the spotlight back onto her. "What are you and Eric?" you ask, hoping to shift the focus away from the complexity of your situation. The question hangs between you, a momentary distraction from the undefined nature of your relationship with Jaemin.
“He’s my boyfriend.” She reveals nonchalantly, as if the declaration is the most natural thing in the world. You didn’t expect it, you had known that they’d gotten close but you didn’t expect them to actually label their love. This was the first time she had told you.
At her words, the room erupts into excitement. You and Haerin can’t contain your joy, squealing and rushing to embrace her. An unexpected wave of emotion washes over you, and you find yourself fighting back tears. The depth of your reaction surprises even you, but deep down, you understand its source. Hana is not just a friend; she’s your best friend, someone whose happiness means the world to you. Seeing her find joy and fulfilment in a relationship with Eric, someone who has been in love with her since childhood, fills you with an overwhelming sense of relief and contentment.
In the midst of your collective excitement and joy for Hana, the moment becomes even more intimate when she turns to you, her gaze filled with softness and genuine concern. "I just don't want you to get hurt.” She whispers, her voice a tender echo of past conversations. The sincerity in her eyes reflects the depth of your friendship, her worry stemming from the memory of your last heartbreak. That memory isn't just yours; it's shared in the collective heart of your friendship, a reminder of pain endured and the resilience that followed.
Jaemin, who until now has been a quiet observer of the emotional exchange, lets out a light chuckle. It's clear he's ready to leap to his own defence but you're quicker. "Jaem isn't gonna hurt me.” You assert confidently, your voice steady and strong. There's no hesitation, no faltering in your statement—a testament to the unwavering belief you hold in him.
This isn't a mere assertion; it's a declaration of trust, a trust that has been carefully built and nurtured over time. In your heart, you feel the solidity of this trust,
Jaemin's reaction to your words is subtle yet profound. There's a flash of something deeper in his eyes, a mixture of appreciation and a solemn promise. It's as if your words have not only affirmed your trust in him but also reinforced his commitment to honor and cherish that trust.
Jeno, unexpectedly quiet until now, says, "Yeah, he won’t." Jeno's sudden input surprises you, given his silence throughout the intervention. He’s normally active in discussions like these, his quietness up to this point was out of character.
"He’s a good guy.” Jeno reiterates, his voice imbued with a depth of trust and admiration. His words about Jaemin are not just spoken; they're felt, radiating a heartfelt sincerity that envelops the room.
In that instance, you and Jeno share an exchange so profoundly sweet, it transcends words. Smiles bloom on your faces, a silent nod sealing this moment of mutual understanding and respect.
Then, Jeno’s gaze finds yours, carrying a depth of knowledge and insight that puzzles you. It's a look filled with layers you can't quite decipher, leaving you curious about his thoughts and emotions. This moment of uncertainty stirs a mix of confusion and curiosity within you, prompting questions you yearn to ask.
Yet, the moment's simple beauty holds you back, urging you to just live in it, to appreciate the connection you share without overanalyzing. Jeno’s response is a smile, so broad and genuine, it encapsulates the essence of your friendship—a bond that thrives on unspoken understanding and shared moments just like this.
Hana smiled and shook her head. "Fine, but you guys should create rules for whatever kind of 'situationship' this is." You and Jaemin exchanged a look, and you realized that she was right.
"Can we have some privacy?" You asked, but you were immediately met with a chorus of "no's." You rolled your eyes, realizing that your friend group was just too open with each other. The closeness was a bit frightening at times, was it normal that you had seen them all naked on multiple occasions?
As he closes the distance, Jaemin's arm draped gently around your shoulder, he looked into your eyes with a sense of warmth and concern. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, his voice laced with genuine care.
You smiled at him, your fingers tenderly brushing over his eyebrow before cupping his cheek, drawing him into a gentle, heartfelt kiss. It was a quiet moment shared between just the two of you, a silent reassurance of your connection.
"So, what are you thinking?" You inquired, your fingers now finding his hand and intertwining with his. You took a deep breath, your gaze fixed on his, and continued, "I was thinking that communication is the key here. We should always be honest with each other about everything. For example, if you've found someone else, it would be better if you told me the truth so I can handle it better and..."
Before you could finish, Jaemin cut you off, his eyes unwavering as he affirmed, "I'm not going to find anyone else. I don't want anyone else." His words carried a deep sincerity that sent a warm shiver down your spine, reaffirming the bond you shared.
You nodded, feeling a little overwhelmed by your emotions. "Oh.” Was all you managed to say.
Jaemin's eyes held a gentle understanding as you continued, "And I think things like dates and gifts are okay. I mean, not like official dates, but if we want to go out, we don't need to be weird about it. I don't mean it like a date-date, but..."
"I know what you mean.” He said, voice filled with affection.
"Do you want to suggest something?" You asked, your arms wrapping around his neck as you gazed into his eyes.
Jaemin's smile is soft, filled with an unwavering patience and acceptance. "I just want whatever you want. Just tell me what you want, and if it's what you're comfortable with, then I want it too."
You nodded and then brought up another important point. "Um, also, can we continue keeping this private? I just... I don't want the attention, and I don't want Hyunjin to know. He's going to... he's just... I..."
The room is filled with the sound of your heavy breathing, the emotional weight of the moment pressing down on you. As you fight back tears, a sense of vulnerability washes over you, compelling you to look away in embarrassment. Around you, the concern is palpable, your friends frown at the sight of your distress.
Jaemin's response is immediate and tender, his voice a soft balm in the tense atmosphere. "Hey, baby.” He murmurs, his words wrapping around you with a warmth that feels like a gentle embrace. The softness of his kiss is a promise, a silent assurance that you're not alone in this. He moves your face gently in his arms so you’re looking at him and only him.
"Of course we can keep it private.” He says, his commitment to your comfort and peace of mind clear in his tone. In that moment, You find yourself nodding, a smile breaking through the uncertainty as you lean in for another kiss, his soft lips making you ache for more.
You hesitated for a moment before bringing up one more concern. "Last one, if you ever find yourself catching feelings for another girl, then..."
Jaemin didn't let you finish your sentence. He interrupted with a passionate declaration, "I don't want that. Did I not make myself clear when I said that I don't want anyone who's not you? You're the only one I want."
The room fell silent, with even Haerin moaning at his words. You have to acknowledge, deep down, that this feeling is somewhat foreign to you. The sensation of being prioritised, of sharing space with someone who genuinely cherishes and respects your feelings to the extent that Jaemin does, is new and disarming. Reflecting on the past, you realize Hyunjin never offered you this kind of emotional security and consideration. The contrast between then and now is stark, stirring a mix of relief and a poignant sense of what you had long been missing. It's an emotional revelation, understanding for the first time the depth of care you truly deserve and are finally receiving.
A wave of emotions crashed over you, leaving you momentarily breathless. Before you could process his words, he bridged the gap between you, his actions speaking louder than any promise could. His lips met yours with a fervor that conveyed the depth of his sincerity, igniting a spark that quickly turned into a blazing fire.
The kiss was passionate, yet carried a tenderness that enveloped you in warmth and security. His lips moved against yours with a precision that spoke of his deep desire and commitment, each motion reinforcing his declaration. The intensity of the kiss deepened as if each touch, each melding of lips, was a seal over his vow, binding him to you and you alone.
The physical connection was overwhelming, sending ripples of heat through your body. His hands, firm yet gentle, cradled your face, pulling you closer into the kiss, leaving no space for doubts or fears. The world around you faded, leaving only the sensation of being wholly desired and cherished.
You were left with a lingering sense of being deeply connected, not just physically but emotionally. The assurance in Jaemin's kiss, the fervent way his lips claimed yours, left no room for uncertainty. In that moment, you felt a profound reassurance that his heart aligned with his words.
As the intensity of Jaemin's kiss enveloped you, a surge of boldness took over. Your hands found their way to the hem of his shirt. With a shared breath, a silent agreement passed between you, and you began to lift his shirt upwards. Jaemin's response was to pause the kiss momentarily, allowing you just enough space to pull the fabric over his head.
His shirt discarded, you were met with the warmth of his skin, the contours of his muscles under your fingertips, you began tracing the lines and warmth of his back, Jaemin's lips found yours again as you kissed him until you couldn’t breathe. It felt like kissing him was easier than breathing.
THE ONE WITH JAEMIN AND JENO
Jeno’s laughter breaks through, a sound mingled with relief and disbelief. “You can finally stop hiding around with her.” He chuckles, his gaze locking on Jaemin.
Jaemin responds with a breathy, “Thank fuck,.” His relief palpable, a tension he hadn’t realised he was holding released with those words.
Jeno continues, half in jest, half in admonishment. “You weren’t doing a good job at it though, fucking on the balcony above us, really? I had to pull my cover for you guys out of my literal ass. I don’t know how the others bought it.” Despite the humour, there’s an undercurrent of sincerity in his critique, a nod to the lengths he’d go to protect you and him.
Jaemin, feeling a swell of gratitude towards Jeno, turns to him. His shake of the head conveys more than words could—a silent thank you for the cover, for the understanding, for always being there.
Then, Jeno’s tone shifts, the mood turning serious as he changes the direction of the conversation. “Take care of her.” He says, his voice steady, eyes locking onto Jaemin with a depth of concern that’s rare to see.
The sudden seriousness catches Jaemin off guard, but his response is immediate and unwavering. “You know I will.”
Jeno’s next words are heavier, laden with worry. “You know I worry about her.” He confesses, revealing a protective side often hidden beneath his lighthearted exterior.
Jeno’s tone takes on a sombre note, his words heavy with concern and a touch of anger. “Do you know how fucked she got after that dick fucked her over?” He asks, his voice laden with seriousness. “She got high every single night.” He continues, the worry evident in his expression.
Then, he shares something even graver, a fact that underscores the depth of her despair. “She overdosed and ended up in the hospital.” He reveals, the weight of his words hanging in the air.
Jeno’s frown deepens as he recalls the nights filled with your cries, a testament to the pain you endured. The memory of it brings a heavy sigh from him, the kind that echoes with the weight of unspoken words and shared heartaches. “Her room is next to Haerin’s, and I’d just hear her cry every night.” He says, his voice tinged with a sorrow that speaks volumes of the nights spent in worry for you.
Jaemin listens, a storm of emotions playing across his features— he wants to deal with Hyunjin. He feels shock, anger, and an undeniable resolve to protect you. “I’m taking care of her.”
Jaemin understands the heartache of a breakup all too well, having recently navigated the end of his relationship with Yeeun. In the aftermath, he found himself caught in a mess of emotions. He struggled a lot. Time, however, has a way of soothing the sharpest sorrows, and gradually, he felt himself healing, the pieces of his fractured heart beginning to realign. It's in this journey of recovery that he found himself drawn to you, a beacon of hope and a promise of new beginnings.
Or is that what he’s made himself believe?
“She hasn’t gotten high since she’s been with me. I take care of her, I make sure she doesn’t. Jaemin continues, his determination clear. “All I wanna do is make her happy.”
Jeno’s response is a grin, a gesture that reflects his recognition and approval. “Yeah. You are.” He agrees, acknowledging the positive shift he’s witnessed in you. Your friends have noticed the change, seen the light return to your eyes, and watched as your health and spirits lifted. They’ve seen the laughter replace the tears, the strength replace the fragility, all under Jaemin’s tender care.
Jaemin, new to your life, may not have known the depth of your struggles, the lows that once defined your days. Yet, his presence has woven a new narrative, one where happiness fill the spaces that pain once occupied. In the quiet moments, in the soft touches and shared smiles, there’s an intimacy and warmth that envelops you both.
EVERYONE KNOWS NOW
Now, the secret's out—at least among your circle of friends. Shotaro, ever observant, claims he pieced it together during the barbecue, asserting he always knew Jaemin was your mystery man on the balcony. Donghyuck remains unfazed and isolated, lost in thought over his coffee and not making eye contact with anyone, while Yangyang teases you playfully, calling you a "nasty girl." Xiaojun, however, is notably silent, a quiet observer which was odd.
Walking into the campus café, where your friends have gathered, you immediately lock eyes with Jaemin. There's an unspoken conversation in that glance, a connection that speaks volumes, highlighted by your shared smiles. The crowded space leaves no chair for you, but Jaemin easily solves the dilemma, inviting you to sit on his lap with a welcoming gesture. You happily oblige like the good girl you are, you settle into the comfort of his embrace.
The moment you're in his arms, his lips gently press against yours, capturing them in a delicate kiss. His fingers softly caress your thighs under your skirt, coos of affection whispered in your ear. Together, you share smiles, gentle caresses, and tender kisses.
Engrossed in this bubble with Jaemin, you barely register Xiaojun's reaction. His quietness and frown might have caught your attention any other day, but today, the relief of no longer hiding overshadows everything else.
"Did you eat?" Jaemin's voice, low and caring, breaks the spell of your intimate moment. You respond with a shake of your head, and he takes it upon himself to feed you, his actions tender and attentive.
You and Jaemin said your goodbyes to your friends and you’re now walking side by side with him on campus, you find solace in his presence. Words are unnecessary; the silence between you isn't oppressive but rather comforting, a testament to the ease and understanding you share. You're aware of the curious glances directed your way, yet they don't unsettle you. Jaemin seems unfazed as well, his demeanor calm and reassuring.
The thought crosses your mind that you're under scrutiny, possibly judged, yet it doesn't disturb your peace. You recognize that there's nothing wrong in seeking happiness, in reveling in the warmth of Jaemin's hand in yours. However, the shadow of a past fear looms at the edge of your consciousness—the concern about Hyunjin's reaction, a person whose gaze alone might shatter your newfound tranquility.
You had your reasons for keeping your relationship with Jaemin a secret, predominantly due to apprehensions about Hyunjin's influence over your emotions and well-being. The thought of his control over your happiness scares you deeply. But fuck him. You refuse to allow him any power over your current joy.
Hand in hand with Jaemin, each step on the campus grounds feels like a declaration, a step towards what feels right. Despite the past fears and the potential judgement from Hyunjin or anyone else, this moment with Jaemin feels like where you're meant to be—free, unburdened, and genuinely happy.
In a moment that feels suspended in time, you and Jaemin come to a halt amidst the hum of campus life, now rendered inconsequential. The backdrop fades as he gently presses your back against the cool facade of a campus building, his gaze capturing yours with an intensity that's both mysterious and compelling.
Jaemin, with a slow, intentional movement, retrieves a blueberry lollipop from his pocket. The act of unwrapping it, taking a moment to savor its flavor, all the while holding your gaze, adds a layer of anticipation to the already charged atmosphere between you. The tension mounts, every gesture laden with unvoiced promises.
As he closes the distance, the air around you seems to thicken. When your lips finally meet, the kiss is not just an ordinary one—it's a fusion of sensations, the sweetness of the lollipop blending seamlessly with the moment's warmth. This kiss is a discovery, an intimate exploration that goes beyond the physical.
The initial surprise quickly gives way to a mutual passion, your response mirroring his intensity. Your hands find their way into his hair, drawing him closer, deepening the kiss. The flavor of blueberry envelops you, enhancing the experience, making it something entirely unique.
Suddenly, aware of the setting, you gently push him back, a whisper escaping your lips, "Everyone is gonna see us."
His response is a carefree shrug, the words almost a caress in themselves, "When a pretty girl asks me the flavor of my lollipop, should I say no?" His words, teasing yet sincere, dissolve any hesitation, reaffirming the connection between you.
Eager to reclaim the moment, your lips find his once more, reconnecting with an urgency that speaks volumes. This kiss is deeper, fueled by the brief pause, a blend of rebellion and affirmation of your bond. It's a declaration made without words, a shared understanding that what you have is worth the exposure, worth every risk. The sweet taste of the lollipop, now a symbol of your shared secret, lingers as a testament to the complex, beautiful dynamic you share with Jaemin.
The kiss, intense and filled with unspoken emotions, was Jaemin’s way of saying goodbye—a sweet, lingering farewell as he had classes for the rest of the day. You’re left with a smile on your lips, your cheeks burning with a flush that you try to hide by covering them with your hands. Waving goodbye, you watch Jaemin until he disappears from view, the memory of the kiss still vivid in your mind.
But the moment he’s out of sight, a shift occurs. Turning around, you’re confronted with the piercing gaze of Jang Yeeun, her eyes fixed on you with an intensity that feels like a cold shock in contrast to the warmth you just experienced. Her words cut through the air, sharp and accusatory: “So you’re the reason why Jaemin’s been ignoring all of my calls.”
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pastanest · 1 year
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Eleventh Doctor x she/her!reader
AN: this is an ANGSTY one which is usually not the vibe for me but I got lost in this idea and completely fell in love with it so I really hope you like it!! this is the ost piece I was listening to while writing -
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Set Things Right
With a sigh, the Doctor rubs his face with his hands, then places his palms flat against the console of the Tardis. She wheezes halfheartedly, seeming to wince in pain.
“Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” The Time Lord pleads with her, desperate for any sign, any handy hint on what he can possibly do to help her. 
The two of them have been drifting aimlessly through deep space for a time that even a lord of such a thing has been unable to truly focus on. Hours, days, weeks - he doesn’t know, all of it has been lost to the worry over his oldest and truest companion. The one piece of home he has left. 
Closing his eyes tightly in a pained blink, the Doctor takes a deep breath in an attempt to tune himself into the Tardis further, to understand her, just enough to help. In focussing as hard as he possibly can, his subconscious grabs at the first sound it finds, no more than an unidentifiable flicker, but the Doctor hones his thoughts to the spark that the Tardis has sent him, whatever it may be. The very moment the sound becomes clear to him, though, the Doctor flinches away from the console, feeling a physical tear through his hearts and rubbing against his shirt to soothe the ache that resides there. Has resided there, and been ignored for another time that he dares not address.
“Don’t. Just…don’t, please. She’s….” The Doctor shakes his head, refusing to say the words as he falls against the railing, gripping it with one hand at his back while the other still holds his chest, as though shielding his hearts from another fatal blow. “She can’t help us, not anymore.”
And he feels it, the judgemental gaze of the Tardis on him at every angle, even in her weakened state. Loosening his bowtie to escape some of the pressure, the Doctor speeds from the control room, past a door that he knows was not previously so close to the main control room but he will not give her the satisfaction of acknowledging it, past the swimming pool, and towards the library. There must be something in here, he thinks to himself, haphazardly throwing books from the shelves on which they previously sat and creating a disheveled pile in the center of the room behind him, hoping one of them may contain the secret to healing his sickly time machine.
Quite suddenly, the Tardis jolts to the right, sending the Doctor falling into the pile of books he had unintentionally used to form his own landing pad. Jumping back to his feet with a firm frown on his face, the Doctor straightens his shirt and huffs.
“Now, I know you aren’t very well, but there is no need-”
Interrupting him, the Tardis throws him back to the ground with another fierce jolt, and then she bursts to life in what the Doctor can only describe as a fit of rage. She is taking flight, furiously, to a destination of her own choosing, with no regard for the Time Lord that is crawling his way back to the main control room through corridors that she turns on their heads, walls that she shrinks and enlarges, floors that she shakes and cracks with the sheer force of her determination.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” The Doctor shouts into the main control room, over her screeches, as glass panels splinter at his feet.
Flinging himself at the console, he grabs the monitor with both hands and tries to read the Gallifreyan text, the co-ordinates, anything, but she is flying too fast for his eyes to keep up with her train of thought as it blazes across the screen.
And with a final, deafening crash that sends the Doctor hurtling into the railing, the Tardis halts to a sudden stop. She wheezes again, but this time it almost sounds…relieved? As though wherever she has landed, it has brought her a sense of peace. This place can heal her wounds, the Doctor recognises her feelings towards it, and his ever curious mind is buzzing with excitement at the thought of such an incredible, new place. 
“Oh, where have you brought me this time, old girl?” Having already forgiven her for the bumpy ride, the ancient god is giddy, rubbing his hands together and retying his bowtie, grabbing his tweed jacket as he races for the door. 
He braces himself as he reaches for the wooden panel, hand trembling with excitement. With a deep breath, the Doctor pushes open the door and steps out into the brand new world. Except it isn’t, and it is. 
The street is one he would recognise even if he had never set foot there, because he knows this planet almost as well as he had known his own. Earth, the planet to have given him the greatest friends and adventures he’d ever known. But this street is not one he has never set foot on. The Doctor is a man who cannot look back because he dares not, there are many streets on this planet that he avoids for fear of the pain he would revisit on seeing them again, in the absence of those he once knew occupied them. And this street is no different, except in that it is the most recent of the streets he never wanted to see again, and in the way that he has been forced to do exactly that. He wants to run and hide, more than anything, but he is frozen to the spot, because something isn’t right. The air tastes different, the gravity feels slightly askew, and he can’t tell what year it is amidst the emotional tidal wave of it all. As fundamentally wrong as all of those aspects are, the Doctor cannot deny that they point to one possibility amongst a million others, but that one - regardless of the agony - he cannot live with the regret of denying. 
And then he hears it again. The same sound he had heard when inside the Tardis, the sound she had told him would help her, and now again, in the place she has taken him to heal her. Time seems to slow as the Doctor turns to his left, his eyes immediately locking onto and blurring a perfect vision he never thought he would see again. You.
Laughing so hard you are throwing your head back, eyes crinkled and tears spilling at their creases, your mobile phone to your ear only mildly distorting the view of you. Completely oblivious to the big, sad eyes that watch over you, a trembling smile of pure anguish choking out a disbelieving laugh with you, though he has no idea what you are laughing at. 
Clutching at his chest and feeling the world around him beginning to spin, the Time Lord stumbles back through the doors of his time machine and falls to the floor, pressing his back against the wooden panels in an effort to lock himself away. 
For the briefest second, all he feels is pain. Wound after wound tearing through his very being, bleeding him dry and crushing him into dust. And then that second ends, and the oncoming storm rises to his feet, a darkened frown etched into his brow.
“Why.” He mutters, approaching the console. “Why. WHY!” He throws his arms in the air and slams them against either side of the monitor, watching as you disappear down the street and then shoving the monitor away from him. “WHY would you bring me here?! What kind of cruel trick is this?! How DARE you! How…could you? How could you take me back to a time when she was…when you know that I can’t…” 
The Doctor trails off, defeated, and collapses onto the jump seat with his head in his hands.
Sensing his anguish, the Tardis groans at him, exasperated by the way in which he continues to miss the obvious. Sending the monitor flying back over to the side of the console that the Doctor is facing, the Tardis displays the exact time and date beyond her doors and waits. It takes the solemn, lonely man several seconds to lift his sorrowful gaze from his hands and read the Gallifreyan text she has written for him. 
He blinks, and blinks again. Then stands, closing the distance between himself and the monitor. 
“But, this can’t be right, that means…” The cogs begin to turn inside the mind of a genius, knowing for a reason he cannot come to terms with that he could not have possibly seen you on this date, in this time.
And as the realization hits him, his eyes widen, the Tardis seeming to screech in pure glee as her masterful plan is revealed to him. 
“You…” He whispers in disbelief. “You punctured a hole in the fabric of the universe…to bring us to a parallel world, where…” 
A soft knock at the door interrupts his bewildered and undecidedly disapproving train of thought. Leaning around the console, he frowns in confusion and, in a daze, strolls over to the door. Opening it just enough to show himself and not the bigger-on-the-inside majesty of his time machine, the Doctor unintentionally finds himself very nearly nose to nose, with you.
Jumping back in surprise, you chuckle. “Oh, hello! Blimey, talk about up close and personal!”
And the Doctor cannot say a word. In all his hundreds of years, you are the one thing to render him completely and utterly speechless. 
“Anyway, sorry to disturb you and your…policey business? I’m guessing this is a new thing or I just never noticed this blue box on the corner of my street, but, is this somewhere that I can raise concerns?” You ask him, staring up at him with the most clueless and curious expression. The pain caused by the lack of recognition in your eyes is nothing compared to the bliss of seeing the life within them.
Without a word, the Doctor nods.
“Oh, perfect! There’s this guy that’s been following me home from work in the evenings and it’s really starting to freak me out. I’m not sure if I just report it to you and you keep an eye out, since he hasn’t done anything and the law for creeps is lenient at the best of times, but if you’re stationed here I just wanted to give you a heads up, I guess.” You glance to either side, as though fearful the man you are reporting could overhear, but then your eyes meet the Doctor’s again and you smile so kindly. “Anyway, that was all. Hope you have a good night and don’t get too cramped in there! See ya!”
And, like what you’ve done hasn’t just altered the course of history, you spin on your heel and walk away without a care in the world. 
The Doctor closes the Tardis doors again and turns to face the console. 
“We can’t be here. She doesn’t recognise me, this version of her has never met me- well, she has now, I suppose, and that is entirely your fault! But she doesn’t know me, she’s lived the days on this planet that another version of her spent traveling through time and space with me, she has stayed safe here and I cannot do anything to jeopardize that, not again, so we have to-” He stops himself, mid-ramble and mid-walk to the center console.
“Except…the other version of her, the version that we knew, she mentioned a man that followed her home, just once.” His blood runs cold. “She said that had we not met when we did, she feared what he would have ended up doing to her, and in this timeline…” The Doctor’s fists clench at his sides as the reality of the situation dawns on him. “You have given me an impossible choice. To choose between the very fabric of the universe, and saving her just one more time.” He straightens his bowtie and heads for the door, casting a flirtatious smirk over his shoulder. 
“And you knew exactly what I would choose, you sexy thing.”
The next morning, you all but stumble into your office in a half-asleep state, having stayed awake far too late the previous night watching youtube videos about conspiracy theories to distract yourself from the curious, bowtie-wearing policeman you had met. Falling into the spinny chair behind your desk, you open your laptop and start tapping away to log yourself in for the day, tuning out the background noise of your coworkers doing the same. 
“Ahh, (Y/N)!” Your manager’s voice makes you jump, your life flashing before your suddenly wide eyes as you sit up straight and turn to face him.
“I wanted to introduce you to John Smith, he’s a detective in the area that’s been assigned to watch over this part of town due to some unsightly folks being reported on the streets!” He grimaces at the thought, but you hardly notice, your eyes having already gravitated towards the tall, slim man with the dopey smile on his face as he watches the tiniest spark of recognition ignite in your eyes. 
Standing from your chair, you hold a hand out to him. “We’ve met, actually, but I didn’t think it’d amount to this! Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith.”
If possible, the warm smile on his face brightens to challenge even the sun outside. “Duty calls! Pleasure’s all mine, but please, call me the Doctor.” He pretends to very dramatically whisper “It’s my code name.” 
Unable to stop yourself, you giggle and shake your head at his antics, making the young man with ancient eyes beam. 
“I’ll be surveying the area today, but this evening I wondered if you could take me on your route home, so that I can evaluate any…unsightly folks.” He says, referencing your report the day before and your manager’s choice of words.
You nod at him, smiling gratefully. “That’d be wonderful, thanks…Doctor.” 
And oh, how his hearts both skip a beat at hearing you say that.
For the rest of the day, you sit at your laptop and work away, while occasionally casting glances out of the window and at the carpark below, where the curious bowtie-wearing Doctor-policeman “surveys the area”. Now, you don’t pride yourself on being knowledgeable about police work, but you are quite confident that it doesn’t usually entail climbing trees simply to sit in them or getting bored enough to begin peeping in people’s parked cars and accidentally setting several car alarms off. All the same, every glance from the window leaves you with a smile that you truly struggle to wipe from your face, even in the wake of your desk job. 
At the end of your working day, you practically skip out of your office in search of the sweet fool that has offered to walk you home. You find him waiting beneath a streetlamp, surrounded by its golden glow, casting a halo over him that you can’t help to find somewhat metaphorical.
“Evening Doctor, had a good day?” You tease, knowing as well as he does that you have seen the majority of his antics.
“Good evening! I did have quite a good day, yes, did get a bit dull towards the middle, but as long as it helps keep the community safe, I will do it! How was your day?” He kindly returns your question, the two of you subconsciously starting to walk in step with each other.
“It was alright, bit dull, like you say, but we got through it!” You change the subject. “Before I entrust you with my route home, do you have a badge to prove your position, detective?”
Something twinkles in his eye at your sensibility, your desire to protect yourself, and the opportunity for him to show off one of his favorite party tricks. “Ah, of course! Here.” 
Digging into his tweed jacket, he retrieves a leather bound wallet and opens it out to you. The second you have digested the words on the small piece of paper within it, you are laughing so hard you are throwing your head back.
The Doctor, in a state of pure confusion, rapidly looks between you and the psychic paper. “What? What does it say?!”
Wiping your eyes, you try to calm yourself down. “It’s safe to say your flirting is much appreciated after a long day, Doctor.”
With wide eyes, the Time Lord reads over the piece of psychic paper that has never been more accurately named than when it answered your question of his professional title with a few, simple words. 
The love of your life.
And the Doctor has never flushed a more violent shade of red in all his years. With a disgruntled cough, he shoves the wallet back in his jacket.
“I am so sorry, that was not at all appropriate, please forgive-”
Nudging him playfully, you cut him off. “Nothing to forgive! As I said, I appreciated it. I know a creep when I see one, as proven, so I can tell when someone isn’t one. Translation: you can flirt with me as much as you like, pretty boy.”
He expects your flirting to fluster him even more, having not heard it in some time, but the sentiment is so familiar and by extension, comforting to him, the Doctor finds himself relaxing into your presence again, like nothing has changed.
“Pretty boy?” He chuckles.
You shrug. “Yeah, I’d definitely say you’re pretty. I suppose I’d have to, if you’re the love of my life.”
Playing along, the Doctor smiles at you, perhaps a little too adoringly. “Well, yes, it would be quite a shame if one of those statements were false.”
“Either one, in fact.” You give him a cheeky grin, the two of you sharing a comfortable laugh as you pass beneath another streetlight along your walk home that you have memorized so completely, you have all the time in the world to memorize an entirely new part of it.
By the time the Doctor walks you to your front door that evening, both of your faces ache from smiling as much as you have. 
“I regret to inform, I didn’t look behind us to see if we were being followed at any point.” You say, feigning disappointment in yourself that the Time Lord very quickly catches onto.
“Ah, well, in that case, I regret to inform the same- and it’s my job! I am rubbish at this.” 
His response brings another warm laugh from you. “I wouldn’t say you’re rubbish, but I think it is only fair we reconvene tomorrow evening and ensure we do keep our wits about us. What do you think?”
And the Doctor is grinning at you like you’re a tree with silver leaves, standing tall in deep red grass, beneath twin suns. A piece of home he truly never thought he would find again.
“I think I owe it to you, after my poor show today.”
With that, you’re smiling right back at him. “Wonderful! See you tomorrow then, Doctor.”
He raises his hand without really thinking about it and gives a very awkward wave, considering how close the two of you are standing, but it seems you are already accustomed to his clumsy social skills and have found the charm in them that speaks to your heart in the same way it does across every version of you. Sharing one final laugh, the two of you part ways, the Doctor beginning to retrace his steps from your house to his Tardis. 
When casting one last look over his shoulder, he sees you still standing in your half-open doorway, watching after him with a lingering smile that is so beautifully familiar to him. With a more socially acceptable distance now between you, he waves again, and you wave back, stepping into your house and closing your door behind you. And with a spring in his step that was previously long forgotten, the Doctor returns to his time machine.
She is in wonderful spirits, of course, seeing her Time Lord return with such a dopey smile plastered between rosey cheeks as he recounts the day he’s had, everything you said, everything you did. The Tardis makes what can only be described as mechanical noises of approval with every new piece of information about you. 
Knowing he can’t risk trying to time travel to the next morning when already breaking the rules by being in this parallel world to begin with, the Doctor decides to spend the rest of the evening and night tidying up. Something he doesn’t often do, as the Tardis will usually default to clean settings whenever he leaves a room in a mess, but she watches endearingly as he tidies away the books he’d thrown into to the library floor, polishes the railings of the main control room, and strangely, tidies away the fairy lights that you had wrapped around the bannister what feels like a lifetime ago, because you had insisted the Tardis could use a little more ‘dolling up’, as you put it. A classy girl, you had called her. No wonder she is still so fond of you.
But the Doctor had been unable to merely focus his gaze on the little glowing orbs that decorated the main control room, ever since you had last set foot in there. The reminder of your physical presence and the agony of the absence that followed was too much for him to confront, and yet here he is, wrapping them up and tidying them away like Christmas decorations that have been left up just a little too long. It is curious, the Tardis thinks. Does this mean he is ready to start processing his grief? Is he simply on an emotional high from seeing you again, to the point where he can touch the tangible reminders of you that were previously forbidden to trembling hands? Or, does he wish for you to set foot in here again and make the request for fairy lights that he will already have waiting for you? The Tardis does not know, but she knows very well what she hopes to be the truth.
The next morning, the Doctor actually decides to go on a stroll to the local shops. He had visited them only a handful of times with you before and often found them to be incredibly boring, which they once again proved themselves to be when he arrived at 5am to find none of them were open yet. Naturally, he spun around the carpark in shopping trolleys until the doors opened hours later. 
At work, you sit at your desk tapping your shoes against the carpet beneath it impatiently, glancing out of the window every few seconds with a frown that you truly cannot believe is there. Are you really this disturbed by the lack of presence of a man you have known no more than 48 hours?
But when he hobbles into the carpark, very awkwardly carrying a foldable ping-pong set, you struggle to contain the howling laughter that brings tears to your eyes. You watch in absolute wonder as the strange man sets the table up against a tree he had climbed the previous day, in perfect view of the window by your desk, and then turns to wave at you, ping-pong paddle in hand and a goofy grin on his face as he points at it and the table, in case you hadn’t noticed it. Waving back and miming that yes, you acknowledge the ping-pong table he has brought with him, you shake your head in disbelief and finally allow yourself to focus on your work. Meanwhile, in the distance there is the occasional, disdainful yell of a Time Lord playing ping-pong against a tree and losing.
That evening, the Doctor is once again waiting for you under the same streetlamp, illuminated by the same angelic glow as the evening before, and you can’t help feeling that each time you see him standing under it, that becomes more and more fitting.
“Evening Doctor, what’s the final score?” You ask, gesturing to the ping-pong table that he has left in the carpark.
Scoffing and pouting dramatically, the Doctor replies. “I don’t want to talk about it, but good evening.”
In an instant, the two of you are chuckling again, like old friends that have known each other far longer than you two have. Or rather, far longer than you have known him. The walk to your home continues in much the same way as it did the previous day, except the Doctor is more aware of your surroundings this time.
“So, I said to her, y’know, that’s totally unreasonable, and then she-”
The Doctor interrupts you by gently tapping your hand with his own as they swing between you. 
“I don’t want to alarm you, but we are being followed. Carry on as you were, I’ll keep watch.” He whispers, your arm immediately going rigid with fear beside him, but nodding along with his reassurances. “You are completely safe. I won’t let anything harm you.”
Clearing your throat, you continue. “Sorry, just remembered I forgot to save a file at work and made a mental note to sort that tomorrow. Anyway, as I was saying-”
Listening dutifully to your stories, as he always has, the Doctor only occasionally casts sideways glances to the opposite side of the street, where a shadowed figure is walking ever so slightly behind the two of you.
Once safely at your door, the two of you share a small smile, but your nervousness is obvious.
“Please, dont worry. After tonight, you won’t ever have to feel this way again. I will deal with him.” The Doctor tells you, voice soft but words firm in their meaning.
And you don’t know why, but you trust him completely. “Thank you. Goodnight, Doctor.”
With that, he gives you a warm smile, one that you will hold onto for the rest of the night. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”
He waits until you have stepped inside your home, closed and locked the front door, before he takes his leave. There is no skip in his step this time, his shoes thud against the concrete road with a determination and fury like no other.
Walking over to his Tardis, the Doctor rests his back against the doors and crosses his arms. 
“I know you’re hiding over there, I know you like to follow her. Just tell me why.” He speaks into the street that appears empty, but in his peripheral vision, he can see the same hooded shadow that had been following you earlier, hiding around the corner of someone else’s house.
For a moment, the stalker says nothing and the Doctor is tempted to speak again, but then a voice greets him from the dark.
“None of your business.”
The Doctor laughs coldly. “I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong. By choosing to subject her to the fear that you have, you have made this my business. So, I’ll ask again, just once: why?”
The hooded figure considers the words and the obvious confidence of the bowtie-wearing man that leans against a police box. Based on this, he evidently tries to choose his words carefully, but not carefully enough.
“I like the way she walks faster when she sees me behind her.”
The Doctor’s blood boils in his veins. “You like to scare her?”
When no voice replies to correct him, the Time Lord stands up from leaning against the Tardis and walks over to the monster of a man that thinks himself hidden. 
“Does it make you feel powerful, scaring her? Like you’re making some impact on the world?” The Doctor seethes. “Let me make myself very clear: she is one world that will forever be out of your reach, both in who she is and the fact I will make sure of it. She is under my protection, do you want to know what that means?”
Without giving the monster time to answer, the Doctor grabs him by a tuft of his hair and slams his forehead into his, sending him a shockwave compilation of the Time Lord’s most formidable and incredible moments. The paper man crumbles to the floor, a shaking mess, and the Doctor stands tall over him. 
“If I ever see your face again, it will be your last day on this planet.” The Doctor threatens, voice eerily soft given the weight of his words.
Nodding frantically, the stalker scrambles to his feet and sprints as fast as he can away from the ancient god. 
Rubbing his face tiredly, the Doctor returns to his time machine and collapses on the jump seat. 
“He won't bother her again, she’s safe now.” He tells his oldest companion.
She whirrs pleasantly at him, grateful for him having saved you, but reiterating a question that already nags at his mind.
“After seeing my list of atrocities, it’s highly likely he’ll ever come back. We should…” He trails off, exhausted by the task of sharing his own history with another mind in such a way. Sighing deeply, he sits back in the chair. “But highly likely still isn’t definite. I should probably stay, just one more day, to be certain.”
And the next day, after another wonderful walk home with you, the Time Lord comes skipping through the Tardis doors with another beaming grin. 
“Well, there’s no way he would come back the day after I threatened to remove him from the planet, and I can't leave her so suddenly without an explanation! I owe her that, at least.”
But he is only justifying the continuation down this path to himself, the Tardis holds no opposition to what would usually cause her and the fabric of reality a great deal of stress.
Before he knows it, the Doctor has done the impossible: he has lived a normal week in normal human time. He knows that without you, he never could have done such a thing. To be honest, even if he had been with you as he was before, he would have struggled with this. Having lost you and lived without you in the way that he has, he has never wished more for the most mundane parts of a life with you. All the time spent running with you at his side, facing varying degrees of danger head on, running on adrenaline and saving planet after planet - it was only when he lost you that he realized in doing all of that, he barely had the time to just walk with you. Talk about your day, the weather, your friends, the gossip about town, the slow passing of an evening instead of cramming a month’s worth of adventures into a week of traveling and then dropping you back into your normal life on the same day you’d left it. How you adjusted to both, how you effectively gave up on the life you had here, the one he has now been blessed enough to live with you, he will never know.
And on the last night of the working week, when the two of you share a look that acknowledges the fact you won’t see each other again until Monday, and you invite him into your home for a cup of tea, the Doctor feels a piece of his hearts slot back into place.
Stepping into your home, without the souvenirs and paintings from your travels with the Doctor filling every empty space, only seeing pieces of you everywhere, your ornaments and trinkets and chosen wall art - all of it sings your name to him like a prayer. It is strange, to step into someone’s home for the first time and feel a sense of nostalgia. Something feels wrong, still, but the Time Lord allows himself to be blinded by everything that feels right, the constant comfort that he feels in your presence, the peace you bring his ancient mind. Just once, he feels he is allowed to ignore the nagging in his brain. The universe can let him have this, just for a little while longer.
Having made the Doctor the best cup of tea he has ever had - simply because it is you that has made it - you inform him it is against your code of conduct to stay in your work clothes once you have returned home, and rapidly ascend the stairs, leaving the Time Lord sitting in your living room in a lovesick daze. And when you re-enter the room in the coziest looking pajamas he has ever seen, the Doctor is absolutely certain that the look in his eyes tells you loud and clear, he would do anything for you. 
Flopping down on the sofa beside him, you kick your feet up on the plush footstool ahead of you. “So, Friday night, what are we saying - takeaway and a film?”
You could have asked him to marry you and the question would have sounded just as heavenly. The Doctor nods frantically, grinning after you as you briefly exit the room again and return with a box full of paper menus for various takeaway places, asking him to pick while you choose a film that you say he has to see at least once in his life. He pretends to deliberate, his eyes fixed on you as you dig through your stacks of DVD’s, but he knows that he’s going to choose your favorite takeaway and you’re going to put on your favorite film, which he has watched with you a number of times before, but cannot wait to watch again for the first time.
In the post-takeaway bloat, the Doctor has discarded his tweed jacket and bowtie, and undone the top two buttons of his shirt, while you have simply shifted your position to be snuggled into his side with your head against his chest. The two of you are snuggled under a fluffy blanket, watching your favorite movie in silence, save for your choice commentary over your favorite scenes. With your ear pressed against his chest, the Doctor wonders how you haven’t made a point of his irregular sounding heartbeats. While you have acknowledged it in your own head, something about it feels normal to you, preventing you from having any kind of reaction beyond being comforted by its sound. 
And never before has the Time Lord wished to be stuck in a time loop more. If the only way he could live this day, everyday, for the rest of time, would be to play it out over and over again, he would never complain about a thing. If his moral compass had a gray area that was just a little larger, he could let his Tardis being here cause a fracture in the fabric of reality with any number of consequences, if it meant he could stay here with you. But above all else, the Doctor wishes he could have a silly little job to complain about, that everyday he could come home to your little house, cook and eat dinner with you at your dining table, laugh about the days you’ve had and yours plans for the next ones, then snuggle up on the sofa in your pajamas to watch your favorite shows until you were tired enough to go to sleep. And every night, he would carry you up to bed, looking down at your sleeping face and planning each and every night how he’d ask you to marry him someday soon.
It isn’t until you feel a droplet against your head and sit up to face him that the Doctor realizes he desires that life so strongly it has reduced him to tears. 
“Doctor? What’s wrong?!” 
The care in your voice, the way he can tell you already feel for him, the bond you have automatically slipped back into without even trying. He has made an imprint on your life again, he couldn’t help it. He was here to save you just one more time, to set things right so that he and his time machine could grieve and carry on, that was his purpose here, but he has gone too far. There is no logical way that he can leave unnoticed and in any which way he left you now, he would hurt you. While it would only be a fraction of the agony he has lived in without you, he cannot bring himself to hurt you in any capacity, not again. 
“I have to show you something.” The Doctor tells you, standing up from the sofa and taking your hand, grabbing his jacket with the other and leading you to your front door. 
It is silent as you step into a pair of slippers big enough to fit your fluffy socks in, staring up at the Doctor in confusion and concern, and it is silent as the two of you walk the short distance between your house and his police box. 
Taking a deep breath, the Doctor pushes open the door and gently tugs you inside. Your legs falter behind him and he turns to face you, seeing an exact replay of the shock and wonder in your eyes as he did on the first occasion he brought you here. But there isn���t time, not anymore.
“Not a policeman, a time traveller. This is my ship, it’s bigger on the inside.” With your hand still in his, the ancient god rushes through the necessary clarifications as he leads you through the main control room, down a flight of stairs, and to the door that he previously couldn’t bear looking at, that the Tardis had moved closer to the main control room than it had ever been before.
The Doctor’s other hand is shaking as he reaches for the handle, but he cannot delay this any longer. He has gone too far.
Turning the handle dowards, he pushes the door open, the gesture weak but taking everything from him, his arm falling limp at his side. The room glows at your arrival, the Tardis sensing your return and greeting you in a warm smile. And despite the overwhelming strangeness of it all, you manage a small smile back at her. 
The Doctor feels your hand slip away from his as you cautiously step into the room, while he feels an invisible barrier denying him entry. After everything, he does not deserve the right to stand in there with you.
“This universe is not the only one.” He begins, voice light as he focuses on telling you a story, providing an explanation of what came first, forcing himself to forget what came after until he has no choice but to tell you that, too. “There is an ever expanding number of galaxies and worlds out there in this universe and others, and time is like…a cabinet, with folders pressed together that are so similar, only those who know them well enough could tear them apart. Parallel worlds.” 
His eyes are fixed to you as you seem to glide around the room, gaze lingering on every trinket you see, until you reach the fireplace to the left of the door. It bursts to life at your presence, flames roaring and firewood crackling, warming your slippers, but you neglect to notice that, otherwise entranced by the photographs that decorate the mantelpiece. Frame after frame, all different sizes, some photographs not framed yet, but placed there still, waiting to be stood with pride amongst the rest. Your own face, and the Doctor’s, smiling back at you in each and every one, with backgrounds of countless different places.
“I was lucky enough to meet you in a world parallel to this one. We…traveled together.” He takes a deep breath, watching you pick up some of the photographs to examine them closer, a confused frown on your face as you stare at them with such intensity. “There are planets safe in the sky, stars that sing songs of that version of you for saving them, even just for visiting them. That version of you was like…a sun, to many a planet, spreading an infectious joy wherever you went…to none more than me.” With a sad smile, his gaze drops to the floor, the line of your doorway that he cannot cross. “I took you from the planet that created you, the stardust from which you were born, and because of me, that world is now without you.” All light drains from the Doctor’s voice then, the weight of his crimes crushing the flicker of his spirit that only you could bring back. “What should have been an easy pit stop on an asteroid became the worst day in existence. It was your birthday- not that you remembered, you hadn’t been living earth days for some time, but you had mentioned how much you enjoyed celebrating and I couldn’t strip you of that human right along with everything else.” As kind as his gesture had been at the time, on reflection it is morbid, cynical and cruel. Everything he did that led you there had grown sour in the absence of you. “I took you to the largest asteroid belt in history, so that we could have a picnic there and you could take another photograph for your collection. But when we arrived…” The Time Lord swallows the lump in his throat, remembering every agonizing second as though it was happening all over again. “Colonizers, that was what they called themselves. A disorganized group of criminals; a broken cyberman and discharged jadoon, among them. They had stolen a vortex tunnel, which in itself was a terrible crime- they thought they could control one but not even Time Lords managed to master them. My history and their anger towards me for it was waiting outside the Tardis doors but because it had been clear when I’d set the picnic up, I didn’t think to scan the perimeter again. I sent you out there first to surprise you, and they-” Trembling fists clench at his sides, closing his eyes in a pained blink before opening them to a grave frown. “They’d already grabbed you and before I could say anything, they’d thrown you inside.”
Having already placed the photographs back on the mantelpiece, you watch the wonder of a man you’ve come to know crumble with shame. 
“What does a vortex tunnel do?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper so as to not upset him further by verbalizing such painful memories for him too loudly.
“Vortex tunnels are a risky means of escape. They pluck you from where you’re standing and send you hurtling across space and time with no definite destination. They could send someone to random coordinates, floating in space, to certain death- there is no way to predict them.” The Doctor answers, keeping his words factual and objective to regain some composure.
“Why would anyone want to use one?” You question gently.
“Desperation. Based on their unpredictability, they are illegal and kept in stasis, but there have been cases of criminals that use them to avoid trial and execution.” He replies.
“Couldn’t outer space police track them down, or something?” You aren’t quite sure you understand the full extent of the events, feeling that certain aspects are missing and it is down to you to piece together what you can while trying to save the Doctor from reliving such pain.
“Vortex tunnels don’t just send you across time and space, they erase your mind entirely. In the highly unlikely case of someone being tracked to where the tunnel had spat them out, they have no memory of their crimes, so cannot be charged for them. The creature that they were, all but ceases to be.” His voice is light again, fragile this time at the thought of the person he had known being erased from existence and left stranded. “There was no way for me to trace you, not even with a psychic link in the Tardis, because the psychic link with you was gone, your mind as we knew it, was gone. The Colonizers jumped into it afterwards, of course, to escape me.” The Doctor rubs his face with his hands, then places a palm against the doorframe. “She’s the reason I’m here. She mourned you so deeply that she ripped a hole in the fabric of reality to bring me to a parallel world, just to save you one last time, to make our last memory something better.” His hand falls to his side. “But I went too far, again. I stayed too long, made too much of an impression on this version of you, your life here. Now, leaving will hurt you, but I can’t take you with me. Not only do I refuse to take you away from the world, the family that is yours a second time, but I cannot replace her. As similar as you are, you are not her, and I know it. Something has felt wrong from the moment I arrived and as much as I’ve tried to ignore it, I can’t anymore-“
“What family?” You interrupt him, stunning him into silence for a moment.
He is so shocked by your question, he manages to meet your eyes for the first time since opening your bedroom door. “Your family, your parents.”
Your brow furrows, expression lost. “I…don’t have parents, Doctor.”
The Time Lord stares at you, dumbfounded. 
And then he’s walking towards you, stepping across the invisible barrier and breaking the distance to stare into your eyes, read what lies beyond them, a stern frown etched in his features. “Yes, you do. As different as parallel worlds can be, if you did not have parents, you would be a very different person. Your mother picked out your living room curtains, your father built the coffee table in there-”
You shake your head, interrupting him again. “Those were both part of the house, they were there when I arrived.”
Too perplexed to continue this interrogation manually, the Doctor takes your hand and all but drags you back to the main control room. Retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his jacket pocket, he scans your brain and then transfers the data to his monitor, eyes reading the Gallifreyan data displayed over and over again, trying to make sense of it.
“Is there something wrong with me, Doctor?” You ask, beginning to worry based on his expansive knowledge and lack of ability to give you an explanation.
Looking from his monitor to you, he scowls. “Arrived.”
“What?” You question.
“You didn’t say the furniture was there when you moved in, you said it was there when you arrived.” His eyes slowly start to widen. “You saw the Tardis. When we first landed here- she automatically blends in with the world around her, but you saw her. And when I told you to call me the Doctor, you didn’t question it, not once. Despite being introduced to you as John Smith, you never called me that, even in private.” Slow, hesitant steps towards you, as though he’s scared to approach what you could be. “You didn’t question anything, throughout my explanation. Not the time travel, not the Tardis or referring to her as ‘she’, not parallel worlds, not the alien species I referenced, not how we met, the places we’d been- you only started asking questions in the end, about the only things that - out of everything I told you - you didn’t already know.”
His words sink into your skin slowly, your mind finding it much more difficult to digest this information than it had everything else the Doctor has previously told you, and he’s right, all of that should have raised more questions from you.
The Doctor reaches for your hand so slowly, and you don’t know why, but you accept it, instinctively. A small smile blooms on his face, the tiniest glimmer of hope as he looks between you and the Tardis console.
“She wasn’t sick, oh, you sexy thing- that’s how she brought us here, she was tracking you across time and space, pinpointing the anomaly of you, thrown from your own timestream and into another.” He whispers, bringing your hand to his lips to place a kiss against your knuckles. “If we fly away from here, if we go back to your Earth, the timeline will correct itself and you should remember everything- we can’t let this anomaly continue or it could tear apart time and space in some grandiose butterfly effect!” 
And he lets go of your hand to run around the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers with an exhilarated grin on his face, the Tardis whirring with excitement, while you just stand there.
“All this time, I thought she couldn't find you, silly old Doctor! I was slow on the uptake, as usual- I hope the Shadow Proclamation can forgive any ripples in the continuum that follow this, but-”
“Doctor, wait.”
He stops suddenly, the wondrous time machine collapsing into silence. 
“The fact I already trust you as much as I do and don’t feel terrified by this frankly alarming turn of events, suggests you and the Tardis are right, but…remembering an entire life that, as of now, I don’t fully recognise I’ve lived, how will that feel?” For the first time since meeting the Doctor in this world, you are scared at the thought of what comes next.
Understanding your concern, the Doctor returns to you and takes your hands in his. “Quite honestly, I have no idea, I’ve never seen the recovery process from a vortex tunnel. I can only guess that it will feel overwhelming, it could send you to sleep, but whatever happens, I will be right here, and you will be fine. I promise you. I will never risk you again.”
He holds your face in his hands, gaze locked with yours.
Taking a deep breath, you nod. “Okay.”
The Doctor smiles at you. “Keep your eyes on me and reach for the lever on your left, you know the one.”
And like it’s second nature, your hand grabs the very lever he’s referring to, bringing a beaming grin from the Time Lord as you tug it down. 
With a wheeze and a groan, the wonderful time machine lifts into the sky and drags herself out of the parallel world, beginning the journey back to the one you came from. Through the time vortex, your knees buckle, winding you and forcing you to collapse into the Doctor, who holds you against him so tightly, slowly lowering the two of you to the floor to hold you on his lap, arms keeping your body safe as your mind races a mile a minute.
“You can do this, we’re almost there. Come on (Y/N), hold on, for me.” He murmurs into your ear, comforting you through the tears that wrack your body, memories attacking you from every angle. 
Regardless of how happy the majority of those memories are, to experience them all at once and at the same time as all of the sad ones, the painful ones; to feel every emotion you are capable of feeling simultaneously and remembering every instance in which you have felt every one, in a microsecond; a human mind can only cope with so much.
The memories of his smile and laugh overlay every flashing image of every place you’ve been together, every species you’ve encountered, friend you’ve made, planet you’ve explored, until it all fades to black and you are empty again.
Only this time, instead of waking up in a simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar house with a mental block on how you had arrived there and no understanding of who you were beyond the corporate life you led amongst billions of your kind, your eyes flutter open to your home. Sitting in a chair beside your bed, he watches over you, your guardian angel. The delirium with which you scan the room around you, acknowledging the crackling fire and the familiarity of your bedroom on the Tardis, makes you feel as though you have slept a thousand years.
“Doctor? What-”
He interrupts you, gently shushing you. “Rest, (Y/N), you need to rest, please. Recovering and reliving your entire life all at once and in under a minute is not a normal process for anyone, you need to let your mind recover.”
Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you nod at him. “How long have I slept for?”
“Three days.” 
With eyes like a deer in headlights, you sit bolt upright in bed, immediately starting to feel dizzy and the Doctor jumping from his chair to steady you, propping your pillows up behind you.
“Three days?!” 
The Doctor nods. “Yes. Had I thought about this recovery process, I probably would have picked a more comfortable chair.”
Your jaw drops. “Tell me you have not been sitting there for three days straight.”
And the ancient god is silent.
You sigh. “Doctor!”
He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “If I told you I hadn’t been sitting here for three days, that would have been a lie, so I thought it best not to say anything!”
Shaking your head in disbelief at him, you shuffle to the side of your bed that is pressed against the wall. “For goodness’ sake, you ridiculous fool.” You pat the empty space beside you on your bed. “Get in here.”
The Doctor’s eyes widen. “Y-You need the space to rest!”
You hold his gaze. “Before getting to the parallel world, how long had it been since you last saw me?”
He avoids your eyes. “I wasn’t keeping count, we were just drifting while she tracked you- it doesn’t matter.”
Frowning, you look up at the ceiling. “Tardis? On the monitor above my bed, can you tell me how much time had passed between my disappearance and the two of you arriving on the parallel world, in Earth days?”
And as always, she is ever so happy to listen to you. The monitor above your bed flickers on, displaying a black screen with a single line of text. 
1096 days, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 4 seconds.
Having never been particularly mathematically gifted, you turn back to the Doctor. “...How many years is that?”
But he doesn’t have it in his hearts to tell you, to admit how long he was alone for, how long he and the Tardis grieved for, how long they drifted in space while she searched for you and he tortured himself with the guilt of losing you, the hopelessness of never being able to find you again. Retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his jacket again, he zaps the monitor above your bed and then returns the tool to his pocket, hanging his head.
Looking back up at the monitor, your eyes fill with tears at the change of text.
3 Years, 1 Day, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 4 seconds.
One hand lifts to cover your trembling bottom lip, while the other reaches for his hand.
“Three years?! Doctor, that’s-”
He cuts you off. “If the Tardis hadn't taken flight when she did, it would have been an eternity, I can assure you.”
The Doctor’s words hit you like a train, so suddenly and stopping your heart with a screech before it starts again, spluttering frantically in your chest at the impact. Sniffling and wiping your eyes, you chuckle, in complete disbelief.
“Well, daft old man, you know what that means, don’t you?”
Unable to resist the urge to lift his head and see your smile again, the Doctor meets your eyes. Without realizing it, he starts to smile back at you, silently asking you to continue.
And you do, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go of it to tap the empty space on the mattress beside you again, with a tearful smile that sets both his hearts ablaze.
“I think you need a cuddle just as much as I do.”
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candiid-caniine · 6 months
Note
Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!
Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?
Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!
Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!
💫
hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!
i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!
finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)
note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!
all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.
hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):
@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!
@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate
@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.
@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.
@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!
@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!
@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)
@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible
@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices
@dollobotomy
general kinky content:
@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.
@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!
@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)
@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!
@femmelovefemme can step on me :)
@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!
@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol
@transpidered is forever an icon!
@subspaceemo
@writefinch for great stories and text posts
edging and denial, specifically:
@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)
@droolkink is my inspiration!
@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)
@puppycvnt is a 10/10!
@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!
@strawbrrysub
@blyssful-abyss
@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3
non-detrans genderplay:
@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!
@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!
@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.
@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol
@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)
@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post
@superiorineveryway
weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):
@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!
@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol
@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)
@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol
piss/omo:
@latenightomo
@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!
@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!
@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!
monsterfucking/terato:
@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!
@eggedbellies as well!
@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!
@steamandcream
@of-mutts-and-men
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starilianreads · 1 month
Text
What's your earth mission??
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Hii guys!! So I'm back with another pac!! Where I'm doing a 5 card + 2 oracle card spread, in which we'll talk about what's your earth mission!
And remember it's a general reading, so only take what resonates and leave what doesn't, and remember there are so many messages for so many people, so if you're interested in learning more about your earth mission, DM me, and we'll either do exchange readings, or paid readings, for your earth mission!!
Side note:-
It's a general reading so take what resonates
English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical mistakes
I do not fake readings
It's solely based on my intuition
And again, the artwork is made by my brother:))
🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
Let's get started!! Pac!
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Pile 1
Cards:- The empress, Qow, death, Qop, temperance
Hii pile no.1 here's your reading, let's talk about your earth mission, and like pile no.1?? Who are you seriously asking?? Like you have literally queens and major arcana in your spread?? You work to heal people, this is my earth angels pile!! Healers pile! You work to transform people notions about themselves, like where some people work to motivate others, you literally change the way they look at themselves, tch, simply, if someone is struggling with self-esteem issues, you'll literally change the perspective of themselves how they see it, and like you're literally the earth angels type!! You have so sweet energy? Like people will heal in just in your presence! You can also work with relationship healing? Like for eg. If you're friend is stuck in some relationship problem, you're the one who'll guide her to what to do, to "change" it. You have a thing of "change" pile no.1. But you change people for the better, if someone is in relationship or in friendship with you, they'll definitely tell you, that "you teached me what real friendship means" or "you've teached me what real love means" no matter if it lasts or not, ig people really admire you for that! You're literally like a sunshine! Idk how to express my feelings for you! Lol!! I'm feeling very calm, and bright energy, it's like everyone should feel just once! But you're not meant for everyone, and I'm happy to read your energy hehe🫣😁.
If I describe you, I'll describe you as flowers and sunny bright day! You're like spring season! You have a thing with hands, or your hands are always busy in doing something, you'll never be free ig. You're the god messengers in some way, you definitely resonate with starseeds, lightworkers, and earth angels terms. Because you're like that, you're a fallen angel🦋 I also see, that before you come in others life, God send them some kind of signs that people like you is about to come in your life, or something like that dk if they observe it or pay attention to it or not, but universe do. And when you finally enters, it's like flower blooms, garden blossoms, everywhere is just idk, Idk pile no.1!! One thing for sure, u change people for better! And that's you, so be you always!!🌸💕 You're the new beginning yourself!!🦋☀️
Thank you so much pile 1! I hope you liked it, please lemme know in comments, and thank you very much for your time, I really appreciate it! Lemme know, if you want a personal reading from me!
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Pile 2
Cards:- QoS, the tower, the empress, the high priestess, pow
Hii pile 2! Here's your reading,let's talk about your earth mission. Okay so you people might be kind of witchy, I'm getting heavy Scorpio kind of vibes,or like your intuition is on point, you do tarot, astrology and spell work, and yk all that witchy stuff, I'm getting a girl in my mind who's sitting on a table doing tarot in dark. But this pile is a truth seeker, I'm getting a quote I read somewhere and it goes something like "A disturbing truth is better then a delusion" like I don't remember but it's something like that, and you exactly are that kind of people, like if you do a tarot reading for someone, you'll not sugarcoat it, even if you'll get hate, you don't care, you just want to tell the truth, and nothing matters for you afterwards. You have a strong third eye. your upper chakras are strong and work so well, and this also helps you to see the truth in every situation, people and whatever it is, if a friend has come to you for advice, you won't sugarcoat it, and tell even if it feels a bit disturbing for her. But that's for sure, that you will guide in the right direction, you're the teacher and guide everyone wants. You help people to step back for what's not serving them anymore. But there's a message to bring balance to your upper and down chakras. You have innate psychic abilities and gifts, and you're even aware of it, and it stems from your ancestor line. Especially your maternal side has some psychic people. You're good in artistic fields, and you're an inspiration, and again a great teacher for younger people, no matter what's your age, but you will feel that people younger then you see as their idol sometimes and inspiration as well.
Thank you so much pile 2! I hope you liked it, please lemme know in comments, and thank you very much for your time, I really appreciate it! Lemme know, if you want a personal reading from me!
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
Pile 3
Cards:- 2os,5op,8oc, the magician, 4ow.
Hii pile no.3 here's your reading! Let's talk about your earth mission. Idk why, but I'm getting reminded of a video I've seen about the earth mission, and that was my pile where she said that I've kind of dark earth mission? And idk how much true it was, but I'm kind of getting same energies here, that you poke something in people, the part which they've to heal in themselves, or the part, which they've to let go of. Things which are not serving them anymore, because pile no.2 was more of like guide to people who wants a reality check, and you're? Idk how to convey that in words, but you're someone who make people rethink or just give them a space to just contemplate to where they're in life, what they're doing currently, and things like that. You make them think, whatever they're doing in their life. Kind of random but that's what you got, I'm getting hanged man energy, so it's possible that you're yourself is this way, where you contemplate a lot, before coming to a conclusion, or like always finding something to let go of heal inside or outside? Pisces-virgo energies? Yeah? You're like an angel. And the energy you've is what you trigger in others. This doesn't mean, that you're not there for people who are in a bad place, you're and also you give people advices, that what should they do, to come out of this situation, because you've already dealt with that situation completely and also get out of there. You're a solution oriented person. And maybe that's why the case, you might attract people who are stuck in some kind of situations, and you people made them rethink there choices or where they're being headed in their life. You made them think deeply, and go into the roots of any cause. You can be a great psychologist!
Thank you so much pile 3! I hope you liked it, please lemme know in comments, and thank you very much for your time, I really appreciate it! Lemme know, if you want a personal reading from me!
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Thank you so much for being here everyone! Thanks for your time! The messages was definitely meant for you, that's why you we're here:)) <333
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chapter 3: a desperate revelation
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Find the masterlist here!
CW: Astarion talks about his abuse.
W/C: 2,795
A/N: My dog had heart surgery last week... please send all the good vibes for her recovery!
After the arduous fight with the Hag, Astarion wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bedroll. Shadowheart had mended the worst of their wounds with a healing prayer, and your quiet songs of rest had bolstered their energy for the trek back to camp. Once out of the bog, the fading rays of the sun’s light were visible once more.
He paused a moment to marvel at the way they painted the sky in various hues of pinks and oranges, a sight he had long since given up hope of ever seeing again. He tried to convince himself that any day spent in the sun was a day worth having, no matter how fleeting a retreat it might be. 
A plaintive sigh escaped him at the prospect of returning to the shadows after being blessed by the warmth of the light.
“Copper for your thoughts?” you intoned from behind him, startling him out of his quiet reverie.
“For nearly two centuries, I’ve known nothing but darkness and pain. To stand in the sun, after so much tragedy and despair, is nothing short of a miracle,” he whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder, it would shatter the beautiful illusion he’d come to know and he’d instead find himself a psychotic wreck, locked in a mausoleum somewhere at Cazador’s behest again.
He tracked your approach in his peripheral vision, mentally preparing himself to broach the topic of his past, of his Master’s cruelty. You stopped at his side and gazed out into the encroaching darkness with him, listening along as the song of birds gave way to the chirp of crickets. The stars began their winking, and the ambiance of rural night crept over them in a subdued melody.
“Without darkness, there would be no light,” you said quietly. 
He peered over at you, watching as the moon started its trek across the indigo sky just above your head. You glanced at him, and your eyes met his for a moment. He did not expect the sorrow that he found in their depths. He opened his mouth, but no sound left his lips, the icy fingers of fear choking him. He closed his eyes and steadied himself, preparing to spill his darkest secrets upon reopening them.
“Come, friend,” your hushed voice met his ears. “We are not far from camp. We may speak there.”
With that, the moment was broken. Astarion opened his eyes to see your retreating form, and silently thanked whatever gods still were for the extra time to gather his strength. ______________________________________________________________
Astarion sat alone in his tent, lost in his thoughts. He could hear the chatter and laughter of his companions just beyond its thin walls, but he didn’t even have the heart to observe from afar tonight. He waited in trepidation for you to come find him, drumming his fingers absentmindedly on the closed cover of the book in his lap. Even reading had proven to be an unhelpful distraction.
“Astarion?” 
He recognized the lilt of your soft voice and cleared his throat.
“In here, darling,” he called, unwilling to move, lest his legs were to carry him far from this conversation, far from camp in cowardice.
You parted the flaps of his tent with a small smile, a question in your eyes. He waved at the space in front of him, a silent go ahead to enter and sit. You nodded imperceptibly and sat down, crossing your legs and setting your lyre in your lap.
Astarion raised a brow at the instrument.
“Do you ever go anywhere without that?” he asked, curiosity coloring his voice.
“Never,” you grinned. “It’s the source of my connection to the Weave.”
He scoffed, “A lyre?”
“Well, not the lyre specifically,” you blushed, “but the music it creates. Any instrument will do, but this is my instrument of choice.”
“I see,” he said, though he really didn’t.
“Would you like me to give you an example?” you asked kindly.
“Please, be my guest.”
He watched as your delicate fingers plucked a soft melody on the instrument, caressing the tune from them with practiced ease and fondness. The mellifluous sound of your voice began its harmony, and a sense of peace like he had never known washed over him. He was enchanted by your performance, finding it a strangely intimate experience with no one else to accompany the two of you.
All too soon, the final chord resonated in the cavern of his chest with a quiet hum.
Astarion opened his eyes - not remembering having closed them - and gazed at you. The warm feeling from earlier had returned at the start of the song, and had slowly spread its way through his limbs with each progression until he felt light and fuzzy, an unusual and somewhat dizzying sensation. A slight flush had spread across your cheeks and into the bodice of your nightclothes as he regarded you with a soft expression.
“That was lovely,” he murmured, loath to break the tranquil quiet of the moment.
“A Song of Calm for my tense, toothsome friend,” you smiled, voice lowered to match his own.
“Ah! Well that explains the sudden silence in my mind.” 
He cracked a wry smile and delighted in your answering giggle. Stillness enveloped the tent once more, and your expression morphed into one of concerned sincerity.
Here we go.
“Are you ready to talk?”
“I don’t want to say a damned thing,” he bit out, rage and fear laced in his voice. You recoiled at his tone, and it took conscious effort for him to soften it. “But that won’t do anyone any good.”
You remained silent, waiting patiently for him to continue. He heaved a great, mournful sigh, and began.
“Cazador Szarr is a vampire lord in Baldur’s Gate. The patriarch of his coven and a monster obsessed with power. Not political power or military power - I mean power over people,” he said with carefully construed apathy, “The power to control them completely. He turned me nearly two hundred years ago. I became his spawn and he became my tormentor.”
His eyes had fallen to the space separating him from you, avoiding the questions he knew he was sure to find in yours.
“How were you turned?” you asked in a whisper. “Did he attack you?”
Astarion sighed again.
“Not him, no. A gang of thugs, the Gur,” he sneered, “attacked me, angry about a ruling that I’d handed down as a magistrate.”
“I see. Is that why you were on edge with the hunter today?”
“Indeed. They’d beaten me to death’s door when Cazador appeared. He chased them off and offered to save me. To give me eternal life. Given that my choices were ‘eternal life’ or ‘bleed to death on the street’, I took him up on the offer.” 
He repressed a violent shudder at the memory and ploughed ahead, “It was only afterward that I realized just how long ‘eternity’ could be.”
“I take it he was rather lacking as a master,” you intoned gravely.
“He had me go out into Baldur’s Gate and fetch him the most beautiful souls I could find by whatever means necessary. It was a fun little ritual of his - I’d bring them back and he’d ask me if I wanted to dine with him. And if I said yes, he’d serve me a dead, putrid rat.”
He could still taste it even now, the fetid blood of overripe rodent corpses. He wanted to gag and retch at the thought.
“Of course, if I said no, he’d have me flayed. Hard to say which was worse,” he shrugged matter-of-factly.
“Astarion, that’s terrible. I’m so bloody sorry,” you sniffled.
He looked up at the sound to see the glistening tracks of tears running down your face in the glow of the oil lamp, more yet unshed making your eyes glassy. He didn’t know what he expected your reaction to be, but it certainly wasn’t this.
“Thank you, but this isn’t about the sympathy,” he continued uncomfortably, “it’s about knowing what we might be up against. The Gur hunter won’t be the only one looking for me, what with his favorite plaything being misplaced.”
“Plaything?” you nearly choked.
“Yes, he always did say that my screams sounded sweetest,” he intoned bitterly.
He did not raise his eyes at the sound of your sharp gasp, fearful of what your face would betray.
“Vampire spawn are less than slaves - we’re puppets. All he need do is speak and our bodies obey. The things I’ve done, seen… felt. Well, there are some things better left unsaid,” he finished, voice hollow.
He looked up again to find tears streaming freely down your cheeks, eyes puffy and nose running with your sorrow, the whimpers and sniffles of your sobs echoing in the silence. He was unsure of how to console you, so he simply looked away, giving you time to gather yourself.
“Fuck, m’sorry,” you garbled, and he looked back to see you dashing tears from your eyes. “How insensitive of me. You don’t need my tears to make this wretched retelling any worse.”
“It’s quite alright, dear. It isn’t called a sob story for nothing, after all,” he chuckled, trying for levity to lift the stifling gloom of the atmosphere. His attempt wrested a watery giggle from you, so he considered it a success.
Once your sniffling had died down, a comfortable silence settled over the tent. He had gone back to staring at the empty space of his bedroll between you and him, and a new plan slowly began to unfurl in his mind. You seemed to like him well enough, but was well enough going to keep him safe in the dire straits ahead?
He was broken from his musing by the gentle strings of your lyre, a different melody this time but with a similar effect. The dulcet tones of your harmony flooded him with that strange, tingly warmth again, and he made up his mind in that moment. You were an unalienable ally with your charisma and quiet authority, and he needed to do whatever necessary to stay in your good graces.
Resolute in his decision, he listened intently to your music, laying back on his hands and closing his eyes to bask in the beauty of it. Your songs transitioned smoothly from one into the next, and he soon found himself drifting into his nightly meditation with unprecedented ease. He didn’t even register when the music had stopped, only noticing when your hushed voice temporarily disrupted the blissfully quiet calm of his mind.
“Goodnight, Astarion.” ______________________________________________________________
He rose early the next morning and was pleased to find you already awake. You were breaking your fast with some sludgy gruel the wizard was stirring while Wyll regaled you with animated tales of his heroics. He rolled his eyes at the warlock’s prideful display, but noticed you listening intently, gasping and asking questions at all the perfect intervals. The warlock regarded you with a smile far too fond for his liking, and he found himself calling out to you before he was even sure of what he was going to say.
“Darling, a moment, if you please?”
You gave Wyll a sheepish grin and excused yourself, setting the bowl of lumpy porridge on your stool and sauntering over to him. Astarion snickered to himself at the way the warlock’s face twisted.
“Good morning, Astarion,” you said brightly, smile more radiant than the morning sun.
“Good morning, my sweet. How did you sleep?” he asked, laying the charm on thick.
“Alright, I s’pose. You?”
“Vampires don’t sleep, dear, though I’ll say that last night was the closest I’ve come to it in two centuries,” he replied, trying for his most disarming smile.
“I’m glad to hear it,” you responded softly. “If you’d like to dine with me tonight, I’d be happy to lend my neck.”
Astarion could swear he felt his undead heart give a flutter of a beat before going dormant again.
“Why, there’s nothing I’d love more darling! But, are you sure you’re feeling up to it so soon after the first time?” he asked, his portrayal of concern surprisingly effortless.
He watched as you pulled a pendant out of your decolletage, holding it up so that it glinted in the light. He could feel the faint thrum of the Weave surrounding it.
“I went hunting through my things last night when I remembered I had this. It’s an amulet of restoration. Shadowheart confirmed for me that it will counteract the effects of blood loss,” you beamed.
“My, my. Eager little thing, aren’t you?”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, as you noticeably retreated into yourself.
“I only wanted to help,” you mumbled, eyes downcast.
In a desperate attempt to salvage the conversation, Astarion shifted the subject back to the amulet.
“And wherever did you find such a pretty bauble?”
Your answering grimace and accompanying flush was an unexpected reaction.
Oh, this must be good.
“I nicked it from the druid grove,” you said sheepishly.
“Aren’t you full of surprises, my dear,” he responded with a hearty laugh.
“Shut it, Rogue,” you grumbled at him good-naturedly.
“Never! And in answer to your earlier question, I would be more than delighted to dine with you.” He bowed dramatically, earning him a few bright peals of laughter.
“Your tent, or mine?” he purred. He made a show of watching the way your flush deepened and crept its way down into the plunging neckline of your nightclothes.
“Erm, I’d assume you’d be most comfortable in your tent,” you responded, wringing your hands with eyes downcast once more.
Well, that won’t do.
He reached forward slowly so as not to spook you and tucked a finger under your chin, gently raising your face so he could catch your eyes.
“I can make myself comfortable anywhere for you, dear,” he breathed, watching closely as your lips parted in a silent gasp and pupils dilated infinitesimally wider.
Just as he was about to celebrate this small victory, your eyes cinched shut and a pained expression flitted across your face. He dropped his hand instantly, taken aback by the dramatic shift in your reaction.
“S’not you,” you gritted out, confusing him further. You opened your eyes and took a steadying breath.
“Just a bad memory,” you clarified, standing tall in a display of faux confidence.
It was a tactic he knew all too well, and he could see right through it to the rigid way you held yourself. He felt his face fall with a doleful kind of understanding.
She, too, has endured much torment.
“Ah yes, those I am quite familiar with. We all have skeletons in the closet. An unfortunate side effect of living…” he paused, “and unliving, I suppose.”
You chuckled, easing up again.
“I’m taking Lae’zel, Wyll and Gale with me today to look for the missing druid. We’ll let you know what we find,” you changed the subject, meeting his gaze.
He felt a pang of disappointment with the chill of fear quick on its heels and fought to keep his face neutral, but was ultimately unsuccessful. You caught a glimpse of something, however fleeting, in his eyes that turned your countenance steely.
“He won’t have you, Astarion. You don’t need to go back to him,” you said, suddenly vehement in your determination. It only increased his panic.
“You don’t know Cazador,” he relented in a whisper, “He could have spies anywhere. I could be gone long before you make it back. If he finds me, I will have no choice but to return.”
“He won’t find you. You’re safe with me,” you murmured back, reaching out to take his hands. It was an odd sensation, being held, made odder still by your initiation of the contact.
“Then take me with you,” he begged, just shy of desperate.
He could feel your thumbs sweeping over the backs of his hands, no doubt a placating gesture to ease the burn of your next words.
“Not today. You need to rest after yesterday’s events.”
“How rich, coming from you,” he snapped, withdrawing his hands from your grasp abruptly.
He caught the hurt that flashed across your delicate features before you managed to school your expression, straightening your spine and squaring your shoulders.
He sighed in defeat, “I suppose I will see you tonight, then.”
“Tonight,” you nodded and turned to leave.
You took a few steps away from him and paused, turning halfway back toward him.
“And I mean it, Astarion. You are safe with me. I will watch your back, so long as you watch mine.”
With nothing but your parting words for reassurance, Astarion returned to his tent, succumbing to the biting cold of dread’s barbed claws.
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saintsenara · 1 month
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What do you think of the trio's post-canon careers? Because recently, something that has really captured my imagination has been the idea of healer Ron.
The profession, of course, most often crops up in Dramione fic where Hermione has taken up at St. Mungo's (laughable-- this is a girl who needed Harry to unstopper the dittany because her hands were shaking so bad, and frankly, I shudder to think of her bedside manner) but it is predictably absent when veering off the canon course with Ron. This is such a shame because his willow wand is outright good for healing magic (and it is a fairly uncommon combination that he has! The only other person with a willow and unicorn wand, fascinatingly enough, is Lily Potter.)
Ron is also the only person who's canonically interested in healing as a profession (he's immersed in the leaflet for it at breakfast.) He remembers the spattergroit incident from OOTP and then uses it as a cover story in DH. In Half-blood Prince, he takes the exact same classes Harry does, which means he has the grades required to go into auror training, yes, but they are coincidentally the same requirements a student needs to meet in order to apply to be a healer. (On that note: Ron and Harry were clearly high academic achievers and the fanon assertion otherwise needs to be beat back with hammers.)
But the reason why I think healer ron would've been a cracker of a route to go down is just how refreshing it would've been. The Girl of the team, the gang, the trio, being the Healer and Caretaker is such a TRITE trope at this point. DADA Professor Harry is a classic, but this is my case for Healer Ron deserving to be up there. Send his ass back to Hogwarts again if you have to (Hermione will definitely be pleased). Have him intern with Madam Pomfrey for a year and then grumble behind Neville while he takes notes on medicinal herbs. Healer Weasley, who's a big hit in the paediatrics ward because he makes the kids laugh. Who flirts with the oldies and plays chess with the curmudgeons. Who just cares, more than anything, and will bring you a cup of tea no matter the hour, no questions asked. I really do think he's got the disposition for it. What do you reckon?
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
i am immediately compelled by the concept of ron-versus-wizarding-medicine. because, certainly, i never see him as someone who stays in the auror office long-term - i think it makes sense for him immediately post-war, especially when he will undoubtedly just want to keep busy and hunt down baddies as a reaction to fred's death, but i think he only stays in the role after this initial burst of vengeance until he feels comfortably leaving harry in a high-risk situation on his own.
because, of course, ron's vibe with everything he touches in canon is influenced by the fact that he's someone predisposed to being caring [right down, as you say, to his wand]. the bit in prisoner of azkaban when he offers to make a cup of tea while hagrid's in hysterics about buckbeak's death sentence is something i find genuinely lovely, for example, and i do think - as you note - that there's something really striking about ron occupying that caring role within the trio which a fanon deviation to trite gender dynamics in which men are stupid and women are nurturing undermines in a supremely tedious way.
i'm not sure, though, that i would back ron in any specialism of healing that could be classed as emergency medicine - he has the vibe of, and i mean this with great affection, the sort of surgeon who habitually leaves sponges behind in patients - but i would back him in specialisms which need to be a bit more holistic or slower in pace. his chess skills - and his good intuition - suggest to me that he'd be a pretty effective diagnostician, and i obviously think he'd have a great bedside manner.
healer ron, then, is going to be at his best, absolutely, in something like paediatrics, which means that i'm going to take your suggestion about him interning with madam pomfrey and run with it to say that ron as hogwarts matron [or whatever the non-gendered version of that term would be] is his ideal career.
think about it! the work's varied and sometimes complicated, but it's not too high-pressure because really serious cases will be sent to st mungo's. the work will frequently relate to things that ron is interested in, like quidditch. and the work will frequently require ron's key talent - being sound - to shine. this is a man who would do an excellent job, i think, of handling mishaps caused by teenagers trying to hex their own acne off, or offering tea and sympathy to the homesick or the recently dumped. i think he'd do a great sex-ed presentation, would manage to charm honeydukes into giving the school its medicinal chocolate at a huge discount, and would be considered a huge legend by the student body for always being willing to certify to the teachers that someone who used a puking pastille to get out of class was actually sick.
as for the other two, i much prefer hermione as a barrister than as a civil-servant - not just because of her temperament but because i think the change she wants to bring to wizarding society is going to be won primarily by her slapping on a wig and gown and being condescending to witnesses.
as for harry, i like to stick to him as an auror. while i have some exceptions, i'm actually really not fond at all of professor potter as a trope - and, even more controversially, i really don't like the concept of professor riddle - largely because teaching is far too sedate for someone who runs on adrenaline as much as harry does.
and - i must be honest - i think the idea of harry as a teacher [or a healer or a quidditch player] often hangs on people feeling uncomfortable with the idea of him as, to all intents and purposes, a police officer. but i quite like taking that in the opposite direction, and playing with harry's canonically black-and-white morality and capacity for self-righteousness to have him - while not a corrupt or sadistic auror - a complacent one. i like the idea of him as someone who thinks that he always applies the law justly and so the law is therefore just, and so on - and the fact that this would allow him to overlook his own childhood lawbreaking is part of that...
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thynisia-pac-readings · 7 months
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This post is part of a Pick-a-number aesthetic reading. To choose your group, please check this post.
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Group 1
Very youthful, very light. Colours are more in the lighter tones, especially in yellow, green, white, purple. You could prefer long hair and flowing garments. There's a sense of not overthinking things, making life simple and staying youthful and happy. Your core aesthetic values community life, compassion for yourself and others, and a simple lifestyle. Most of all, you believe that you are enough and don't need anything else. Your aesthetic core could be cottagecore or anything that fits the description above.
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Group 2
Wow. Group 2, you're very driven. Your aesthetic revolves around being successful and determined. Could be businesscore or something similar. Living in success and luxury, but doing so independently. A self-made person. What comes to my mind is this type of woman/man who wants to re-create herself in that process. Your group doesn't want to use the girlboss term though, it feels like you're more serious than that. You have goals, you have ambitions, and you're not letting anyone or anything stand in your way. Actually, you're convincing yourself that nothing and no one can. It's you first. You have this grand image of yourself that you want to be. I'm getting that not even love is in your plans. You could be avoiding any situation as you want to stay in control of your life, and love feels like you'd lose that complete control. Your aesthetic could look like formal/business look with a feminine touch, luxury brands, luxury accessories, a clean look that is simple but shows success and feminity. No matter your hair type, your skin and body type, you do your best to fit those criteria according to yourself.
Such an intense group for an intense person. You're perfect just the way you are. Wishing you the best!
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Group 3
As I was shuffling the cards, I kept having the feeling that you are a very interesting group of people. I mean, interesting in that you're unapologetically different compared to others and you might not even be aware of how interesting you are. People find you very charming and funny. You give me the same vibes as the girl lead (Hong-jo?) in the kdrama Destined With You. Love her. Even the guys can't help but fall under her charms eventually.
Your aesthetic/vibe is like a shrug of shoulder in the face of life. You just roll with it. Go with the flow. It's like "oh did that just happen? Oh well". Yeah if you had a motto, that'd be "Oh well."
Yeah you're very unique, even in how you dress and do your makeup. You don't fit into standards and you don't try to. You do your own thing. Whether that'd be looking like a goth or a mermaid, lol. You ride your own wind/current. You're very positive, uplifting yet strong. Your light is strong, no matter what your aesthetic looks like. Whether you're dressed like a goth or wearing a pair of angel wings, lol.
You could be wearing red a lot, and you pay a lot of attention to balancing colours and garnements. Feels like people may not see the real you through your appearance, but you actually put a lot of efforts in your aesthetic/appearance so that could disappoint you at times. Sometimes, you wish people would see through to you.
The thing is, people will always see a different aspect of yourself and they will find that version of you charming. You're beautifully unique and different so keep rolling with life without worrying about seeking the acknowledgement/validation of others for who you are.
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Group 4
As I was shuffling, it felt like there was a lot of heaviness and emotional energy in this group. Not in a bad way, it might just be because you're very sensitive and it's easy for you to get overwhelmed emotionally. I'm sending you all my love. ❤️
This is my sensitive, delicate group. You're always cleansing and healing yourself ... And perhaps your surrounding too, though you might not be aware of your doing.
There might be a few males in this group. I have to say that the males are more delicate and the females exhibit more strength than the norm. It's actually showing that this group is more balanced in their masculine and feminine aspects and they're exhibiting both aspects in a healthy way.
This pile is really giving me the vibe of starseeds or crystal children. Or your higher self is from a very very high density. Very sensitive people who are, by nature, healing their surroundings and being an example for others in their own way. I'm also saying this because I sense a lot of wisdom in this group, due to your many past lives. You might actually remember your past lives. You could also have some gifts, perhaps Clair abilities or being able to do astral travelling. Or any kind of gift that helps you make a difference, even if it's nothing spiritual. I.e. your ability to analyse statistics or do coding, you want to use them in projects that will do good.
In your aesthetic/vibe, you tend to look at things from a higher perspective and aim at improving yourself. You might want to change the world.
You may come across as very nurturing and caring, your high sensitivity is not missed either. That is no matter what you wear. I don't actually see any specific type of aesthetic in this pile. You're all so different. Your aesthetic might be more of a perspective/mindset than a look.
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fandomxpreferences · 2 years
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Don’t Tell Me You Love Me
After many hours of editing and rewriting, part 2 of the I Won’t Apologize series is hereeee
Pairing: Rooster x Pilot!Reader, Ex!Hangman x Pilot!Reader
TW: angst, mentions of toxic relationship, fluff, swearing, no smut but definitely some spice (who am I), I think that's all, please tell me if I missed any.
Word Count: 2.8k (Part 1) (Part 3)
Summary: Hangman wants to talk to you and he won't take no for an answer. Seeing you again made him realize he has some things to say and you really couldn't care less.
A/N: Um hello Im obsessed with this.As always please leave any feedback and let me know if you'd like more from this little universe bc im kind of falling in love with it.also this gif is totally the vibe between them in this lol
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The next morning you and Rooster are getting ready for your first day of training, maneuvering around each other as you each do your respective routines. After eating a quick breakfast and grabbing your energy drinks to go, you're out the door. As Bradley navigates through traffic, getting closer and closer to the base, your anxiety starts rising. 
You're thankful the two of you opted to rent an Airbnb for your month-long stay instead of staying in the barracks. It gives you more time to mentally prepare for the possibilities of what the day could bring. Though you're outwardly feisty, deep down, confrontation makes you nervous. Last night you were suppressing the urge to throw up after every word left your mouth. 
Bradley notices your heavy breathing and looks over to see you gnawing on your lips and bouncing your knee. Both nervous habits of yours. He reaches over and puts his large hand on your thigh, gently squeezing to remind you that you aren't alone this. The warmth and familiar weight brings you out of your thoughts and you smile at him fondly.
Despite all the pain you went through to get here, you'd do it a million times over if it meant you get to experience being loved by this man. This is the type of love that you thought didn't actually exist. The type of love that heals you from the inside out and makes you a better person. 
Before you know it, you're pulling into a parking space and climbing out of the bronco. Rooster holds your hand as you make your way inside, sitting next to each other in the half-full hangar. A few of the other pilots are already lost in conversation and you look around, taking attendance. Jake isn't here yet. 
You're grateful you made it here before him. The idea of having to walk to your seat with his eyes on you makes your skin crawl. At that exact moment, you hear footsteps and see Jake walking towards the group. You turn back around in your seat and glue your eyes to the chalkboard in front. 
The briefing goes smoothly, and you manage not to look at Hangman the entire time. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head and you don't miss the daggers Rooster sends his way every time he catches him staring at you. Captain Mitchell dismisses the group and you stand with Bradley, making your way towards the locker rooms. 
You're laughing with Rooster when you hear boots hitting the ground behind you. You silently pray it isn't who you think it is, and keep walking. "Y/N, wait up."
You groan when you hear the blonde call out after you before stopping and turning around. "What the fuck could you possibly want, Jake?" Your voice is cold and it's clear that this was already more interaction than you want.
His tone is even but you can tell he's nervous. Good. "Can I talk to you for a second?" You roll your eyes, giving him a blank stare. "Talk." He glances between you and Rooster before speaking. "I was hoping we could talk alone."
You feel Bradley tense behind you, and he lets out a loud scoff. "I think the fuck not, Bagman. You've done enough. Anything else you have to say is just going to hurt her more. That's not happening on my watch." He moves slightly in front of you, blocking part of your body from Jake.
"It's fine, babe. You have five minutes, Jake. You can talk but I can't promise I'll listen." You're starting to get pissed off that he won't just let this go. You nod your head towards a door to an empty conference room before walking towards it without another word. 
Bradley follows you and grabs your hand before you can go inside. He leans down and gives you a soft kiss before gently taking your face in his hands. "If he does anything or you're uncomfortable, just call for me. I'll be right here. I love you." God, you love this man. You give him a small smile. "I know." Jake watches the interaction and feels his heart twist. He fucked up.
You walk into the room and before Jake can say anything you whip around to look at him, crossing your arms over your chest. "Was it real? Was any of it real?" You were seething as you snapped in his direction. So much for keeping your cool. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, feeling it start to tremble. 
You hate that you cry when you're angry. All of the hurt and betrayal has boiled away and all that's left is unadulterated rage. You turn away from him, refusing to let him see you cry. 
He considers reaching out to you but thinks better of it. He knows Rooster is right outside the door and he genuinely believes that if you call for him, he'll break both of his hands for touching you.
"Yes." It’s all he can bring himself to say but you aren't satisfied. "Then why did you do it?"
He sighs running his hand through his blonde locks. "You engraved yourself in my heart and it terrified me. I was so in love with you that it hurt. I still am. I kept hurting you and I didn't know how to stop. I was arrogant and selfish." He says it with such conviction it makes you turn around and look at him.
"You don't get to say that to me. You don't get to tell me you still love me. Especially after last night." You bark out, pointing your finger accusingly. You clamp your eyes shut, willing the angry tears not to fall.
"I know. I didn't mean what I said, but it hurt me. Seeing you so happy with somebody else like you belonged with him all along." You open your eyes and look at the ground as you process his words. " I did- I do belong with him." Jake sucks in a sharp breath before talking again.
"Look at me. I need you to see how sincere I am when I say this." You slowly bring your gaze up to meet his.
"You're the love of my life. I will be sorry for the rest of my miserable existence that it took losing you for me to realize that." He blinks quickly and clears his throat. You notice his cheeks are flushed. This man has alot of fucking nerve.
You really want to hate Jake. It would be easier. But Bradley and his goddamn pure soul made you a better person. The old you would have screamed, cussed, and hurt him however you could. But he already pulled you out of character last night and you are determined not to fall back into old behaviors. Jake always had a way of bringing out the worst in you. You take a deep breath to calm down before answering.
"I'm not the love of your life, Jake. One day you'll have that movie type of love that takes your breath away and consumes every cell in your body. Just not with me." You watch as his face falls.
"How do you know?" His voice is small as he stares at his fidgeting hands, cocky demeanor long gone. He looks so boyish. You go to speak but before you say anything he looks up, eyes rimmed with tears. "What if you were it for me?"
You shake your head before reaching up to cup his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, painfully aware this is the last time you'll ever touch him like this. You know he doesnt deserve your gentleness, but you cant help the pain in your heart seeing him so broken.
"I know because I found it with Bradley." You pause and Jake is sure that a serrated blade being twisted in his heart would hurt less than that statement. He opens his eyes to look at you as a tear falls. You wipe it away before retracting your hand. 
"We were always meant to be a lesson to each other. What we had would have destroyed us both, we just didn't want to accept our fate." 
Deep down he knows you're right. Your relationship was chaotic, filled with fighting and hate fucks. You did love each other, but it wasn't a safe love. You just didn’t realize it at the time. It was a lustful and dangerous love. The kind where you were both on fire, and if you weren't careful you would burn each other to the ground. Sure, he had been your shelter from chaos and your rock in hard times. But he was also the cause of the turmoil in the first place. Loving Jake was an endless cycle of hot tempers and slammed doors followed by bruising kisses and discarded clothing. It was hate and euphoria viciously entangled, snaking its way around your throat and threatening to strangle you. He thinks back to one of your last fights. 
He watches you wrench the door open and get out before the truck comes to a complete stop. He slams the gear shift into park and stalks after you. "Don't fucking walk away from me!" You swing the door shut behind you, not caring if it slams in his face. His hand catches it at the last second and he shoves it open, almost putting a hole in the wall with the knob. 
You don't bother looking back, too busy discarding your shoes before stomping off toward the bedroom. By the time he catches up to you, you're angrily taking off your jewelry in front of the vanity. Your back is to him but he catches your eyes in the mirror. Your pupils are blown wide, no doubt a symptom of the ugly storm brewing behind them.
He'd never admit it but he picks fights sometimes just because he thinks you look pretty when you get angry. Your eyes hold a fire in them and your chest heaves as you take labored breaths. It was a downright sinful sight. 
You're the first to speak, turning around to look at him. "Tonight was embarrassing, Jake. You acted like a dog marking its territory!" You're yelling, and you think you're going to explode when you see him roll his eyes.
"Oh, please. Don't act like you didn't notice that asshole flirting with you. He was eye fucking you all night! And you were entertaining it!" You don't miss the way the vein in his neck pops when he yells and you briefly imagine dragging your tongue along it before re-focusing.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Seresin? We made small talk for like 30 seconds before I came right back and sat on your lap!" He fucking hates when you refer to him by his last name. His jaw clenches as he stares you down. The irony of the situation isn't lost on him. He knows he has no right to be jealous when he's been double-dipping his dick for months. He just doesn't care.
He takes long strides before stopping in front of you. He boxes you in with his arms and leans down until you can feel his breath fan across your face. He smirks when he hears your breath hitch involuntarily. 
His voice is raspy when he asks, "Did you want him to fuck you? Did you think about what it would feel like to have another man inside of tight little pussy of yours?" He isn't even mad anymore, now he just wants to provoke you. His dick twitches as he thinks about how this night would inevitably end. 
This time it's your turn to roll your eyes. "Jesus Christ, Jake. How jealous can you be? I'm allowed to talk to another man, you don't own me." You scoff. 
He presses his body into you and ghosts his lips against yours. His voice is dangerously low and he chuckles. "Oh, I think I do sweetheart." 
All bets are off as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your lips crash together, tongues fighting for dominance. You feel his hand tangle in the hair at the nape of your neck and pull your head backward. His lips trail down your jaw to your now exposed throat. He wastes no time finding your sweet spot, sucking a dark bruise there.
Round and round you go.
He has to stop his train of thought, as he's fairly certain rocking a semi right now isn't going to help the situation. He nods his head, swallowing hard. "I just wish it hadn't ended the way it did." You look away, releasing a long breath."There's always a silver lining. If you hadn't fucked up, I wouldn't have fallen in love with Bradley. So I suppose I owe you a thank you for that."
He smiles, but it comes out more of a grimace. He hadn't thought of it that way, and he hates that he's to blame for his own personal nightmare becoming a reality. 
“What were you expecting from this? Did you think I’d fall back in your arms and uproot my life with Bradley just because you want me to?” You question. You listen as he stutters. “No, I-I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.”
You take a long pause, choosing your next words carefully. You don't hate Jake anymore. But you don’t forgive him either. You dont know that you can. "Sorry doesnt just fix everything, Jake. I’m sure you were hoping for some kind of relief from your guilt, but you’re not getting it from me."
His eyes shut and he struggles to hold back tears. "Losing you hurt like hell, Y/N." The next words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. "Good. You have no one to blame but yourself."
That stung, but he knows he deserves it.He continues, "But I’d rather you hate me than be apathetic. Hate means you still care." You stare at him, noticing him shrink under your gaze. 
"I dont hate you, Jake. I pity you." You know its mean but its the truth. "I'm not sure if you were wanting to leave this room as friends or old lovers, or what but it’s not happening." He can choke on his guilt. He nods and stares at the ground. 
"I dont want any bad blood, I need to know I can trust you in the sky. Is that going to be an issue?" He notices your shift and tone in demeanor. It’s strictly professional. He shakes his head softly. "No."
You give a curt nod. "Good. I’ll see you out there Liuetenant." It was always offputting to Jake how easily you could switch off your emotions and compartmentalize. He sits down and drops his head into his hands as tears fall off his face. He fucked up.
You open the door and hear a thud followed by "Fuck. Shit, that hurt." You poke your head around the door to see Bradley rubbing the side of his head. You quirk an eyebrow when he notices you looking at him. 
"Were you trying to listen through the door?" You quip with a smile. He shrugs and you notice his cheeks flush. "Maybe." You laugh and move your body until it's fully in front of him. "You're so nosy." You tease while sticking your tongue out at him. 
He knocks your shoulders together as you start walking towards the showers again. You were both up next for the training exercise. "I was worried. How did it go? Are you okay?" He stops and turns to you, searching your eyes for any sign of distress. 
He doesnt tell you that he heard the entire exchange, deciding to let you disclose what you feel comfortable with. He almost bust down the door to strangle Jake when he heard him say he still loves you. But he knows this is your bridge to cross, and he's damn proud of how you stood your ground. 
"I'm fine Roos. I don't know what he was expecting, but I'm sure it's not what he got." You confide while starting forward again. "Good. I was worried I'd have to kill him." You chuckle and look over at his face, seeing he was dead serious. 
You come to a stop outside the locker rooms and turn to him. You launch yourself forward and wrap your arms around his neck, inhaling his cologne. He instantly pulls you into him, leaning down to nuzzle his face in your hair. You stay like this for a minute before letting out a muffled "I love you".
He reluctantly pulls back and kisses the top of your head. "Why don't we stay in and get take out tonight? You can fill me in on what went down in there and then I can take your mind off it." He suggests, wagging his eyebrows. 
You let out a cackle at the gesture before agreeing. "That sounds like a good plan, Brad Brad." He groans at the nickname and you dart into the showers with a loud laugh before he can grab you. " See you up there!" You call out, ignoring the "You're gonna pay for that later!" He shouts after you. If only he knew that's exactly what you want. 
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august-anon · 6 months
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No one is sending me bg3 tk headcanons so i will speak a few of my own. please send me bg3 asks lol. these little gremlin people in my computer are all i can think about
Wyll is definitely more of a ler than a lee in my mind, BUT i see that man in a crop top every single night, you cannot tell me he is not also crazy ticklish. And he definitely doesn't mind it -- he just doesn't want it too much. He much prefers making his romantic interest smile and blush and laugh, and waxing poetic in that wonderfully romantic way of his to make them blush even more. I ask what we are and he compares me to the sun at different times of day in a way that makes me swoon?? Imagine how he'd describe your tav's smile and laughter and flushed cheeks. My god I am so in love with this fictional man.
I have not gotten to a point in the game yet where my bestie Karlach is all fixed up (i only just started Act 2 about 10 hours of gameplay ago -- i expect to be here for another 30-40 hours at least before we finally reach Act 3 lol), I can only assume it happens for her, and i think that when she is fixed up she would go WILD with the tickle fights. She would find it so, so much fun. She probably loves tickling, on all sides, and given how bold she is when she comes onto you the first time (I am so sorry i had to turn you down girlie ✌️😔 i already had my eyes on Wyll), I think she would definitely have 0 problems asking to be tickled or to tickle someone else
i think if i tried to tickle Lae'zel she would kill me. But also we have like, medium approval because I am too nice for her and so i don't know a lot about her lol. Y'all who have had better relationships with Lae'zel or who have romanced her should tell me your thoughts, y'all probably have much better understandings of her character than I do, I would love to know what you think about Lae'zel and tickles
Gale insists he is not ticklish. He tries to distract you with fancy words and long sentences until you forget what you were talking about in the first place, because all of a sudden you're like. Talking about the history of Waterdeep or smth. Anyways, he does this because he is wicked ticklish. And I don't think he necessarily minds being tickled, but I definitely think he's the kind of guy to wanna keep up appearances for as long as he can lol. Gale lovers please correct me if I am wrong, but I always get distracted by his long-winded explanations and fanciful way of speaking (is this how people feel when they talk to me??? i am also extremely long-winded -- as you can see from this post -- and people think i speak funny and in an abnormal manner also lol). That long-windedness comes in handy with teasing though, I'm sure.
Shadowheart is another one I can't get a read on. I have had really good approval with her from the beginning, we are somehow besties, and yet i know so little about her. She is very hard to read. I have no idea what her thoughts and opinions are here lol. I think she would regard me with great disdain if I tried to tickle her
Astarion,,,,, i don't think he'd vibe with most people tickling him, OR tickling most people. Purely from existing in fandom, despite not romancing him (yet -- he is next on my list. I can fix him), i know a lot of spoilers for his general arc in a romance. I don't think he would let anyone but his lover touch him like that (or touch anyone but his lover like that), and only after a lot of healing. It's a very vulnerable situation to put oneself in!!! I feel like for the first long while he'd be far more interesting in ler-ing, he would have to be pretty comfortable and secure to feel comfortable in a lee situation.
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angelflungoutofspace · 3 months
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abbott elementary season 3 ep 1 & 2 REVEIWWWWW
idk why but I thought y'all might wanna hear what I thought about the season premierrrrrr!!!! it was so good and so chaotic. so many things going on at once.
when Janine walked out and revealed as district, I HAD A HEART ATTACK. but then the context helped. im just a little confused because didn't the Manny the district guy say Janine could go back into her class 1-2 days out of the week to teach?? or was it just to go around about hearing feedback?? it was so sad to see Janine's kids not caring about her presence and the super mean substitute. But, that one little boy, Alex, made my heart just warm!!!! It just reminded Janine why she's doing what she's doing!!!
omg and Janine and Gregory?? the way Janine HAD THE CONFIDENCE to go talk to Gregory about her feelings at the beginning of the school year??? like where did that bravery come out of, and she handled the rejection so well. like honey. I would have DIED. but also.... the way Gregory just... moved on???? well, I get why. bro has to protect himself, but like come on greggy boy, don't tell me YOU DONT just feel a little of love for Janine???? but I love the way writers handled it at the end. they didn't leave the awkwardness for the season and that is something I APPRECIATE. and at least we know that Gregory and Janine still want to be friends and still miss each other platonically.
am I being paranoid for being scared of Manny the district guy???? Like my boy Jacob had a point. Manny WAS giving me some crush vibes and it doesn't help how nice and genuine he is. LIKE IM LITERALLY FALLING FOR HIM. and his mom was a teacher??? I would love to see him more, but just not as another pawn in Janine and Gregory's relationship. but, I knowwwww better. and my girl QUINTAAAA will make us wait.
I think Janine is getting really confortable and friendly with the district crew and it's kind of scary me because if she gets TOO comfortable, she won't want to leave. I think when the fellowship ends, they'll offer her a permanent spot on the team and she'll want to take it but still teach at abbott.
Barbara was so cute this episode, with her makeup. and with how honest she was to the district. as some who works at a high school and has been dealing with a particularly horrible district and administration, Barbaras words hit too close to home. but she realized that the whole district team is essentially just 4 Janines with the power and position to make things happen. and I think she's really opening up to relying on the district more.
omg my girl Melissa. honey., I was so scared every time Gary made a marriage joke. and when he proposed I HAD A HEART ATTACK AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND I THOUGHT MELISSA WAS GONNA SAY YES and the rest of the season would be wedding planning. but as embarrassing and heartbreaking as it was for Melissa, she stayed true to herself and was mature to end the relationship. and my girl just crying made me cryyyyy omg. she looks so sad even though she was the one to break up with Gary, AND I KNOWWWWWW SHE'LL STILL BE HEALING. I don't think this is the last well see of Gary since he goes to the school every Thursday, but I think it'll be the end of their relationship permanently. but now that Melissa knows fs was wants to date and knows she doesn't wanna get married, I think she's gonna be in her exploration phase. HOEEEEE PHASSEEEE. god please send Melissa a gay awakening PLEASEEEEE. she needs a rebound and no better rebound than a woman. that would be so fun and so true to her.
but yeah thats all I think so far. and it was a great epsidose and a great start to an already unpredictable season!!!
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jsprnt · 3 months
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Healing Hearts PT. 19 | Virgil van Dijk
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Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?
A/N: AHHH babes, we're done with the story!! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read something I put a lot of time and energy into. Hopefully this story met your expectations when you first started reading! It's going to be weird to be done with this story, but don't worry! My (VVD, other Liverpool players as well) requests are definitely open. Please don't hesitate and send me a request if you want. Again thank you so much for reading. Love you all and stay healthy! <3
W/C: 2.878
Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?
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"It is weird, especially since we worked together for three almost four years on the same team." I say, my arms crossed in front of me as I talk to Ten Hag.
He'd pulled me aside after the match, hugging me warmly after noticing me walk back from the team's changing room.
Liverpool had just drawn against Manchester United, a underwhelming game after all of us had grown confidence about winning easily. That was the thing about football, it could go any way- no matter how much you train and prepare.
"We could work together again, if you accept my offer." He says, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I laugh, raising my brows at the sudden comment.
"You know my salary has gotten much higher than when I was at Ajax!" I joke, smile on my face as he laughs.
I could only decline his offer with a joke. In the past when I got a job offer by a rival team than of the one I worked for I didn't really care about the rivalry. It was just work to me. Yes, of course I grew close to players and staff, but it wasn't a factor which I let affect my career choices.
But Liverpool FC was different, nothing close to the bonds I formed in my former work environments. It was a community, a family even. The relationships I had with the players and staff were incomparable to what I had experienced in the past. Adding to this, I didn't really like the vibe the team gave, especially certain players.
So joining a rival team- Manchester United was definitely a 'no' for me.
"If it's you and your expertise- I could easily make sure you'd join our physio team and be paid handsomely."
"Very flattering, but I think-especially now, I'm very happy with my choice."
"Stubborn as always, makes me remember when you insisted the injury time of players could be shortened if we went by your methods."
"I was right every single time though!"
"That's why I'm not going to push this any further. I'm sure you have a good reason."
I feel a sudden presence behind me, turning my head to meet Virgil who had just walked out of the press corner. His expression looking a bit irritated.
"There's our Dutch captain!" Ten Hag exclaims, the men giving each other a handshake and hug.
"Needed to hear what you're convincing my girlfriend to do." He jokes, pearly teeth showing as he smiles.
"Right, my wife told me about you two, you two fit together very well." He compliments, pointing to us.
"Oh how's Bianca? I miss gossiping with her." I say, asking about his wife.
"She's alright, adjusting to life in Manchester still. You know those two didn't stop talking from the second they saw each other until they left each others side." He says to Virgil. 
"Being a baby physio was boring at times!" I shrug, defending myself. Feeling Virgil's arms wrap around my shoulder as he chuckles.
The conversation ends a couple minutes later, Virgil and me getting in my car.
"What did he talk to you about?" He asks as I start the car.
"Old times, tried to convince me to join his team." I laugh, grinning at the thought.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, but I denied. I don't like some of their players- give me weird vibes." I say, glancing at his confused expression.
"You know who I'm talking about, the punchable looking one, he looks like a super villain." I add, focusing on the road.
"The one with the abuse allegations- Antony, like why haven't they thrown the fucker out yet?" I say, voicing my dislike as my grip on the steering wheel gets tighter.
"Isn't a very easy process, but it's definitely overdue." He says, his hand on my thigh as if to calm me down.
"Exactly.."
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I reread my sleepily written e-mail to my lawyer for the hundredth time it feels like. Adding a comma here and there as I feel like my screen is fogging and blurring up. I had finally requested a restraining order against the man who broke into my home, the police finally starting to finalize the charges against him at my request.
He'd thankfully confessed about being ordered by Theo to break in. For now, I could only get a restraining order against the intruder, as getting one for Theo wasn't actually possible due to us living in different countries. I was satisfied as long as he could be charged in any way possible. Then I could finally be at peace.
I finally press the 'send' button, sighing as I lean my head back against the bus seat. Alerting Virgil of my annoyance. We'd been returning from the match against Burnley, the last before some time off until the new year.
He grabs my phone out of my hand, shaking his head at my protest. His hand coming to rest on my jaw, and I look at him, trying to make out his expression in the dim lights of the bus.
"Sleep, you've been up since six this morning. It's like nine thirty." He whispered, taking note of the fact that half of the players had already passed out. Journeys on the bus made everyone sleepy, whether it was being tired after an intense match, or the fact that the bus rocked just enough to make you fall asleep.
I feel him guide my head onto his shoulder, his arms wrapping around me as a content sigh leaves his lips. I don't protest, letting my body relax as my eyes grow heavy. Fatigue washing over me as I slip into a peaceful sleep. The last I remember being the feeling of soft kisses on the top of my head.
I’m nudged awake maybe an hour or two later, feeling confused and disoriented as I open my eyes. I'm not in the team bus anymore, but in Virgil's car. My eyes darting around to see that we were parked the driveway of his home.
"What? Where- how did I get here?" I ask, my eyes moving from Virgil's form to the windows. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, not even caring about smudging all my mascara anymore. Probably because it was already smudged.
"I carried you out of the bus into my car, your bag is in the backseat." He says nonchalantly, shrugging as he pulls the keys out of the ignition.
"Seriously? You couldn't wake me up? Instead, you put on a show?" I ask, closing my eyes as I cringe, imaging the situation.
"You sleep like the dead my love." He says, leaning forward to plant a kiss on my forehead before stepping out of the car. I sigh, unbuckling myself before I watch him open my door. Then he goes to collect our bags from the backseat.
"Come on, let's go inside." He ushers, making me step out of the car. I follow him, punching in his code before we both step into the home. I immediately make a beeline to the sofa, throwing myself onto it. A sigh leaving my mouth as I shift to get comfortable, grabbing the cushions to rest my head on them.
"Hey, get up if you sleep again you'll stay awake all night. Your sleep schedule is going get messed up." Virgil says, coming to shake me awake, making me groan in protest.
"I'm just resting my eyes.." I mumble, knowing damn well I'd already be fully asleep if he didn't shake me.
"That's what you say every time, then you fall asleep." He accuses, making me sit up straight.
"Did you pack your suitcase already?" He adds, sitting next to me.
"Of course- but say, do you have any space left in your suitcase?" I ask, my eyes snapping open.
"I do, why? Is yours full- did you exceed the weight limit? We have like 32 kilograms of allowance, are you serious?" He asks, looking at me shocked.
"You see, heels are pretty heavy and you definitely won't bring 32 kilograms right?" I begin, grinning sheepishly at him before he grabs me, shaking me playfully.
"Alright, you can give me some of your stuff."
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"Is this good? You don't want it to be too tight on your head." Virgil asks, his hands adjusting the buckle of my pink helmet as I hold his gloves in my hand and support both of the snowboards with my arm.
I raise my hand, fidgeting with the buckle myself, before look at him with a smile.
"Feels alright, here." I say, handing him the gloves. Watching him put them on, my eyes flickering over the white piste. Since we'd wrapped up the last game of 2023, and finished top of the table. The both of us decided to go on a little ski resort trip in eastern France.
"Ready?" He asks, looking at me as he grabs his board.
I nod, starting to follow him.
"Will you help me get up when I fall?"
He looks at me, my reflection starting back at me through his goggles.
"I thought you were a pro?" He asks, showing me his heart-throbbing smile.
"I have experience but not a pro. Last time I skied or snowboarded- I was like twenty-two." I defended myself, jogging slightly to catch up with him.
He hums, starting to look ahead as we walk up to the ski lift.
"Hey, staying close to me will also minimize your change of getting injured." I add.
"Why? Are you the injury prevention whisperer?"
"No, but I can heal them.."
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"I can still feel my legs burn. I forgot how much it hurts.." I complain, jumping into the hotel room bed after showering and pulling the blanket on my body. At least dinner was insanely delicious.
"I'm actually freezing." I say, the iron supplements I was prescribed didn't work at all. Definitely because, when I took them in the morning, I'd throw them up an hour later. I had to revisit the doctor for a lower dosage when we got back.
"Getting in bed already?" Virgil asks, turning on the heating before walking up to me.
I yawn as if on cue, lying on my stomach as I feel the bed dip, making me shift towards him. Bringing my hand up to the side of his face. I caress his cheekbone, my cheek squished against the fluffy pillow.
"You had fun right?" He asks, pulling me closer.
"I did, well after the third time I fell on my ass.." I joke, soft chuckle leaving my lips as I trace the top of his lips with my thumb.
"You'll like it more tomorrow, since you got used to the feeling again." He replies, the collar of shirt moving as he shifts, revealing his collarbone.
I don't respond, my thumb hovering over his lip as my eyes flicker to his, the silence of the night surrounding us.
My heart thumps in my chest, eyes roaming on his features as my palm rests on his jaw.
"You know babe-" he begins, making me return my attention back to eyes. Raising my eyebrows slightly as if to urge him to continue.
"-everything you said could be understood as an innuendo."
My face forms to that of disbelief, recalling my words before groaning in annoyance.
"Why- would you ruin the moment like this?" I exclaim, honestly trying hard to contain a laugh, starting to get up, trying to remove my hand off his jaw, but he grabs my wrist again.
He pulls me closer my chest hitting his, placing my hand back on his jaw, peppering soft kisses on my palm as he murmurs soft apologies.
"I had to say it." He chuckles, his hand still holding onto my wrist. His chest vibrating against mine.
A sudden blasting of my ringtone makes me jump slightly, a gasp leaving my lips as my eyes widen.
"Scared the crap out of me.."
I try to get up, remembering I left it on the sofa, but I'm pulled back again. My wrist still in his hold, though not being painful.
"Stay, get it later.." He whispers lowly, voice deeper as he stares it my eyes. I lower my hand, tracing his jawline, hearing him take in a rushed breath. I ghost my fingers on his skin, trailing my hand down to his collarbone before tracing it.
His grip suddenly returns to my wrist, guiding my hand onto his chest, right on top of his heart. The quick heartbeat thumping underneath my palm.
"You're making it hard to resist- you know that?"
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"Open the link I sent you? Right now!" Jul shouts through my phone speaker, making me frown in curiosity as I click the link. It taking me to a news article.
"Dutch Billionaire family caught in fraud and embezzlement scheme."
"What the fuck!" I exclaim, my eyes roaming around the article to understand what had happened. Freezing as I see a picture of Theo handcuffed as multiple police officers escort him.
I feel a sudden rush of adrenaline flow through me. I sit up straight from the sofa, unfolding my legs. Blinking at the screen in front of me.
This is was all I needed.
"Would laughing at this be inappropriate?" I ask Jul, switching to FaceTime again as a laugh threatens to fall from my lip.
"Laugh all you want girl, this is the karma you wished for."
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"If I was back home in The Netherlands I'd be lighting fireworks with the teenagers of my neighborhood." I laugh, taking a sip of my drink.
It was New Year's Eve, Virgil and me going out to celebrate with the other teammates. Monet and her boyfriend also flying over to celebrate with us. We weren't drinking at all. Or at least Virgil and the rest of the players. Me deciding to not drink for moral support. Drinking did not bring the fun, however company did and it was great. Besides, the ice-cold virgin mojito with Red Bull I was drinking was enough to keep me up all night.
I feel Virgil's hold on my waist tighten, his lips on my shoulder as we both sway to the music in the club.
"This is better though.."
I remove his hands from my waist, turning and facing him as I wrap my arms around his neck instead.
"You know, new years isn't usually a happy time for me. I used to get so sad when the clock ticked twelve, like it made me emotional. I regretted every single thing I did that year. But this time it feels different.." I confess, running my fingers up and down his nape as he kisses my cheek.
"In a good way?" He asks, his thumb holding up my chin.
"Yeah, I feel good. I think I'm finally feeling positive of the year I had. It was definitely rough at times, and you've been amazing support, but I think the changes I've made lead me to the best outcome of my life."
"That is?"
"Moving here, to Liverpool. Joining the club, meeting you.."
"Yeah, I'm a part of that 'best outcome'?"
"Of course you are. I've never said it directly, but you've been the best companion I've made this year. So really, thank you for everything..." I continue, the sweet words falling off my tongue in a delicate manner.
I watch a smug expression form on his face, but his brown eyes are sweet, like dark molasses.
"Could say the exact same thing about you my love. You've been the best doctor, lover and support. Everything I could have ever dreamed of. You're amazing in every single way, I can't even begin to count all the times you've motivated to keep me going." He tells me, his other hand on the small of my back as he leans in to kiss me.
"So sweet." I mumble in between kisses, pulling him closer by his collar. The sudden shout of everybody starting to count from ten making me pull away as I admire the lights flashing. I grab onto Virgil's bigger hand, squeezing it as we all start counting down.
"Five!"
"Four!"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
I hold my breath for a moment, feeling Virgil's hand on my jaw as he pulls me in. Our lips crashing together, the cheering of "happy new year!" loud and clear as our eyes flutter shut. The taste addicting as I reach up to hold onto his bicep. We get lost in the moment, not even pulling away to breathe as we lose ourselves in the sensation.
"Happy New Year, my love."
No, this would be my fresh start.
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from-izzy · 6 months
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Which TBZ member would you assign your moots? And why?
hey anon! first of all, thank you for sending this in 🥺 means a LOT to me 💕 sorry that i'm super late 😭 i basically met everyone on this post on oct 8 and i wanted to wait at least a month to get to know them better, and to give a more detailed (basically) thank you and appreciation post. here are the ones that took a part of my heart!
general message to the ones here: you guys are such heart stealers! 💜 again, thank you for showing me that the internet can be a safe place ✨
also i'm curious 🤔 which member would you assign me to?
@cloverdaisies 📢 juyeon (+ jacob)
the way i went to heaven and back when clo answered my dm 😍 and then she followed me back?! 😱 told clo about how i was nervous interacting with her and yk how juyeon gives off shy and understanding vibes? i just feel like he would just be like "no no, you're all good. don't worry." like, that's clo right there guys (minus the shy part 🤣). jacob because she was so patient and nice dealing with my rants and me losing my mind (aka. fangirling) 🥺 literally talked to her for 2+ hours when i first properly had a chance to interact with her and it was so random going from plastic 🍴 to anime 📺 to [insert another random topic] 🤭 to her works ✏️ etc. (clo if you're reading this, i feel in love with juvenile again and i'm on my way to target:lover as soon as i have time 😉)
@heemingyu 📢 chanhee
apart from all the memes she has (cute or cursed 💀), she makes me just wanna squish her and just tell her how she should stop being so damn loveable (also stop flirting with me, my heart can't handle it). also you know how chanhee can be savage sometimes? yeah so, that's sana 🤠 but it's all loving banter between us, i promise! 💕 (had an ask because anon thought that sana and i were fighting 🤣) and yk how chanhee smacks deobi out their delulu sometimes, well sana does it in a similar way with her words and arguments 😵‍💫 she def puts up a good word fight fr that it keeps me awake and alert 😭 also, i just know sana is just as sassy as chanhee 🫢 we fangirl about chanhee 🐧 together and a few idols here and there (cravity take my money 💸). thank you for dm-ing me first that day 😭 you don't understand how much i was laughing (and blushing) at 1am because of it 🐝🍯
@justalildumpling 📢 kevin (+ sunwoo)
ik no one will agree with this KSJDKSK kevin is in no way an extrovert like my aussie girl is but j is very kevin vibes for me 💕 the things kevin say is very very comforting and j has made me cry 3 times because of it (yeah, everyone attack her lovingly please 🥺🫂). sunwoo because her energy gives me energy back, and her smile is just so damn cute 😻 bonus, you know that sarcastic smile that sunwoo did that one time on live with his loverboy beanie? i literally saw sunwoo when she did it LIKE IT WAS A "WHOA HOLD UP" moment 😮 the jaemin to my jeno, the eric to my sunwoo 💕 thank you for your words that night 🥹 i think i can make it through now. also note for you j: ...rice 🤨...rice 🍚
@kimsohn 📢 eric
i genuinely thought i scared maya away at first actually 😭 but maya is so sweet 🥺 they were the first one to send a friend request when i ventured out of tumblr 🤭 maya just seems like the one who would approach others and be like "hey, let's be friends!" (i do know maya is an introvert but still!) which is a very eric thing! so i stayed and thankfully got to meet everyone else and everyone else better 😆 would love to get to know you better 😊 ahhhh also maya 🥹 i literally had chills down my spine when you recognised my healing project like 😭 thank you sm for mentioning that! i appreciate it sm 🫶
@laviesm 📢 haknyeon
i can't really explain it tbh 😭 it's quite hard to put it into words but other than mona being so cute, she gives off massive haknyeon vibes 😚 maybe the others are able to put it into words and/or understand what i mean. kind of off topic but mona's accent is so cute 🥺 and the little texts that she would just drop out of nowhere is so wholesome! 🥰 (omg, i suck at explaining this) mona if you're reading this, i support any purchase of yours 💲 probably not a good idea for your wallet but we won't talk about that 👝 so yes, get those shoes 👟 bag 🛍️ and clothing 🧥! you're gonna rock it!
@littleroaes 📢 hyunjae
you know how all the members find hyunjae to be so supportive? that's so dora 🥺💜💌 she's always been so supportive. for me, especially that time when i accidentally deleted my old account (still so hurt by that gosh 😞), i quickly decided to make a new account with the same name and tried to follow all the accounts i know! i msged her to basically explain to her that it's me 😭😭 and that no one is impersonating me or anything but then she goes off and basically just made a supportive post for me? ❤️‍🩹 you're seriously an angel 🪽 would love to get to know you better 💝 and i can't wait to re-read (and read new) your stories when i have time 🫂
@mosviqu 📢 kevin
my fellow psych buddy! 💪 and another person i would absolutely love to get to know better! bar is so sweet and patient with my rants and also my random psych questions (so thankful she answers because the internet and the unit coordinator can be unreliable fr 😭). other than that, we've had some convos that healed a part of my heart ❤️‍🩹 and i'm so grateful to the times when i can just talk about it with someone yk 🫂 felt like i was unconsciously holding it in for so long so it was a relief to let it out 🥹 also, bar! 🍰 you're gonna smash that thesis, i believe in you!
@daisyvisions 📢 sangyeon
i haven't talked to daisy too much but i swear she gives me responsible parent vibes 💪 very easy going, kind, approachable 🥺 i was able to ask her a couple of questions and opinions that i would never be able to ask usually (that was my first convo with her) and for me, it was a big deal 💖 she's so trustworthy and i felt safe asking her that question 😊 daisy if you're reading this, literally can't wait to explore your masterlist when life gets less busy and i meant what i said 😤 (just tell me, i'll be rocking up with some food and we're good to go! 🧋🍱🍿🍨...kinda broke atm so i'll just bring this much for now)
@sungbeam 📢 changmin
...am i the only one who couldn't approach beam at first? 😭 like changmin who seems intimidating at first (wait beam hear me out first—🥹), thankfully time matched up and i was able to finally interact with the author that made me cry and stub my toe on the wall at 3am 😀 so eventually beam went from 'the stealer in THAT last chorus' 🔥 to the 'changmin who introduced chucky to deobi with that huge smile of his'. 🐿️ would love to get to know you better as well 🥺 also i support your purchase with that duck 🦆 bin cause it was so cute! i just knew i had to send the post to you as soon as i saw it (not me forgetting your account name and so i basically scrolled through my whole entire page to find you—)
@winterchimez 📢 hyunjae
so many things to say fr first, ally is basically my soulmate 🥺🫂 like hyunjae who fits in any kind of story scenario, i believe that our shared interests and thoughts led to this awesome, cool and dynamic friendship ❤️‍🔥 it's crazy that suddenly one follow, led to another, to a reblog (to me fangirling once again), to me posting something, to ally commenting 💬 to her closing the gap 📮 and messaging me 📥 after. it's just so wild to think about and i really tend to ponder and think about stuff like origins of friendships quite often. if it wasn't for ally, i most probably would have never met anyone in this post. if i did meet them (which yk, i would like to believe i would have either way), i think it would've happened way further in the future. i love everyone here so much and i think i would have missed out on a lot if ally didn't basically pull me out of my shell 🐚 hyunjae (from what i see) can go to very mischievous, then supportive and then loveable—to me that's just ally ❄️🥺💓 ally, i am forever thankful that somehow God said "they're on the opposite ends of the world? let them be friends anyways!" 🥹
@wuahae 📢 younghoon
another one that i can't really describe! ahhhh! 😭 other than the fact that god cat is a visual 😍 thank you for helping me with all my weird, random rants. i love how i would be like "help" and cat would be like "yes! i am here!" 🥺 also yes! thank you for agreeing with me on the topic of fairy bread! 🧚‍♀️🍞 (not me hating on a bread while assigning you ppanghoon 😭) was indeed a lonely battle without you. look forward to more episodes of grandma izzy 👵 vs technology 💻 episodes because there ain't no way i will figure out how to use any of these new, modern apps without someone that will answer me at any time of the day (for the sake of your health, i would def say please fix your sleeping 💤 schedule but who am i to give you this advice? 🤪 let's be 'sleep-who?' buddies together! 😆)
@zzoguri 📢 jacob
other than the fact that's moni is in love with jacob 🍐, moni also gives me parent vibes 2.0. 🫂 i didn't know moni much until quite recently (and i remember commenting on how i love their fic 😍 and ran out after 🏃‍♀️💨) but time matched up once again and they were part of a group that i managed to open up to straightaway. i actually made a mistake towards moni and i apologised, and they were so understanding ❤️‍🩹 (thank you so much for that btw moni if you're reading this) to the point i slept well after 💤 moni can also go from nods and understanding hums to very chaotic energy 🍻 which is a bit of what i see in jacob whenever he's around some members 🤭 love that for them seriously 😚
bonus! 📢 quote from songs i associate all of them with...
you never know (hsmtmts) ⛅ - a chapter begins, the pages turn in the wind, this story's so unpredictable lifeline (the rose, the transparent) 📞 - if the world is coming down, i won't let you drown, even if you start to lose your hold travel (bol4) 🧳 - take me to london, paris, new york city
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iamthecomet · 10 months
Note
I‘ve had a terrible day and literally nobody I could contact so I’m honestly super Sorry for coming here but I just felt like going to the ask box of someone in the ghost fandom would be my safest bet
(There were just literally more childhood things triggered today than I even know fucking EXISTED and I had two attacks that were lots of fun /s)
Could I maybe get a bit of ghoulette comfort? Any pairing of your choice, and I’m very okay with comfort sex
Again, I’m very sorry if this is weird or overstepping any boundaries, or if you don’t take requests, I just really really felt the need to contact someone
Please don't be sorry for coming to my ask box--you're welcome here any time, really. I'm sending you lots of good vibes and hugs (if you want them). I'm sorry you're having such a shitty day. I don't know if what I wrote can really be considered comfort. But I tried and then everything got away from me (imagine that). It's a little angsty, a little smutty, and a little sweet. I hope it helps. 1.8k of ghoulette "comfort"--just for you, under the cut <3.
Sunshine keeps it together as best she can. It's for the best, she knows that. Knows that if she tried to go up on stage every night of this tour with her still healing knee (twisted, badly on a run through the woods with Mountain) she'd damage her vessel irreparably. Knows, that the way it still aches late at night is a sign that she wasn't ready. But it's hard. Hard to video chat with Cirrus, Cumulus, and Aurora and not wish she was on those plush looking hotel beds with them. Squished between them. Aurora's silky hair slipping through her fingers, Cumulus' heart beating under her ear. She misses them with every part of her body. Something she didn't realize was possible until they were gone. She'd never felt this in the pit. This connection, this love that seems to have dissolved into her blood. Her pack. Her girls. They're everything. The Abbey is so empty without them. Aether's here--and the other ghouls--the older ones. But they largely keep to themselves. And having Aether isn't the same as having everyone. And besides--he's distracted. More shifts in the infirmary. More time spent talking to Imperator. She thinks he's keeping himself busy on purpose. So that he doesn't have to feel what she does--an ache where her family used to be. And it isn't like they're not coming back. Not like she doesn't talk to them every day. Dew and Swiss are constantly sending her pictures of stupid shit from the road. Bad license plates. Strange tchotchkes in various gift shops. Rain sends her pictures from museums, historical sights, and gorgeous sweeping architecture. Mountain sends her pictures of flowers, and trees, and every animal he can. Cumulus and Cirrus talk to her on video every single day without fail. They are thinking of her. They are out there. They are coming home. But in the silent moments it's hard to remember that. The ghoul wing echoes like a tomb on some days and Sunshine feels like the caretaker. If purgatory is real, she's found it. It's late, several weeks into the tour. She hung up with the girls hours ago, and since she's been staring at the tin ceiling. Tracing the patterns in it. Stamped scrollwork, vines, flowers, a sunburst in the center of each one like this room was made for her. It's about the time of night that she'd usually crawl into bed with Aether. But she can hear him still on the phone with Dewdrop. A low murmur drifting through the walls. Her room feels too small. Like the walls are closing in around her. Too warm, stuffy. She thinks about throwing open a window but that isn't going to help. She wants the sky stretched out above her. Grass beneath her bare toes. She wants to be thousands of miles away from here, curled up in scratchy hotel sheets with Cirrus in her arms.
She stands at the window, looking out at the way the moonlight slants across the grounds, the way it glitters off of the lake. The moon is full, and it's the only reason she sees her. Pale skin luminous under that light. Mist.
Sunshine doesn’t make a decision. She lets the way her heart starts hammering do that for her. She foregoes shoes, or pants. She steps out into the hallway and head toward the door in just a button-down shirt she stole from Swiss ages ago, and her underwear. The grass is cool and wet against her toes. Mowed recently judging by the way the clippings stick to the sides of her feet. She walks into the Abbey grounds. Toward Mountain's favorite garden, and the lake just beyond it.
Sunshine and Mist aren’t particularly close. Mist doesn’t seem to be close with any of the newer band ghouls except for Dew. She keeps to herself mostly. But she and Sunshine have shared moments. In a cramped closet or Sunshine’s bed. Frenzied and quick. Mists teeth sharp on her lip. Her mouth tasting like clean cool water.
Sunshine feels like she’s dying of thirst. Mist is on the very edge of the dock. Her legs drawn up tight, toes curled over the edge of it. Pointed chin resting on her knees. Sunshine stops halfway through Mountain's flowerbeds and looks at her. The way her tail curls, serpentine, around her own arm. The strange blue tinge to her hair--her skin. Long fingers curled around her shin bones as she hugs herself. She’s so compact. Smaller even than Aurora. Slight but not fragile. Built of wire swimmers muscle. Sunshine once watched her throw Ifrit into the dirt.
She makes it a point to stay on Mists good side—for more than one reason. "Are you coming down, or are you just going to stare?" Mist calls out. She doesn't move. There's a musical lilt to her voice that always reminds Sunshine of Rain. Siren song. Inviting her closer even though her tone is cold, flat. Sunshine forces her legs into motion, ignoring the way her knee twinges when she steps wrong as the ground beneath her starts its descent toward the lake.
“I wasn’t—” she starts when she gets closer, but the words die as her feet hit the dock. She was. She was just standing there staring. Sunshine watches her more often than she’d like to admit. It seems easier than talking to her. Easier than asking for what she wants. It worked out the first time Mist backed her into a dark corner—and every time since.
She wants that again—doesn’t want to have to talk about the reason she’s out here in the middle of the night seeking Mist out. It sounds bad when she thinks about it.
Everyone else is gone. So, I came to you. Sunshine sits on the dock next to Mist, dangles her legs over the edge and finds the lake surprisingly warm. She leans back on her hands and looks at Mist again. Looks at the savage ridge of her spine where it sticks out from the low collar of her tank top. The shirt is loose, the armholes reaching almost to Mists hips, exposing the aqua tinged gills along her ribs. Borrowed clothing, Sunshine realizes, just like her own shirt.
“You like to stare.” Mist says, matter-of-fact. Sunshine winces.
“Sorry.”
“I don’t mind.” Mist offers with a shrug. She looks over at Sunshine then, for the first time. “It sort of feels nice to be seen.”
“I see you,” Sunshine whispers, “A lot. I—always see you. Why don’t you—”
Mist shakes her head. “You didn’t come out here to ask me stupid questions.”
“No. I didn’t.”
Mist slowly unwraps her arms from her legs. Lets them slip off of the dock and into the water. She sighs. “Bath water,” she says mostly to herself.
It isn’t the word Sunshine would use. Closer to lukewarm—body temperature. But she imagines Mist runs cold the same way Rain does. And it must feel warm soothing to her cool skin.
“So why are you out here? Isn’t it past your bed time?”
Sunshine bristles at that. At the way it feels infantilizing. She decides to ignore it. Knows Mist doesn't actually mean anything by it. “Couldn’t sleep. I’m…lonely. I guess.”
“What about Aether?”
“Not the same.”
Mist hums in what sounds like agreement. “No, I guess you’re right.”
They fall into silence, it’s surprisingly comfortable. Easy. Sunshine lays back, puts her arms behind her head. For a while she looks at the stars. Allows the gentle shift of the water around her ankles to lull her, to calm the strange ache in her chest. But after a while, she finds her eyes drawn back to Mist. To the soft curve of her breast, the slope of her stomach, all that skin visible through the side of her shirt.  The way her gills shift as she breathes. The ones on her hips are just barely visible, and Sunshine is hit with the nearly uncontrollable desire to touch them. To reach over and run feather light fingers over that delicate skin and remember what it feels like.
“I get lonely too, sometimes,” Mist muses. When Sunshine drags her eyes away from the shadow of Mist’s nipple she finds the water Ghoulette looking down at her. Sharp features drawn soft. Full lips down turned just a little, more of a pout than a frown. “It’s the way it is. You should get used to it.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Sunshine whispers, breath catching in her lungs. “I’m right here. I’m always right here.” She props herself up at the same time Mist bends. They meet in the middle, lips slotting together. It’s gentle—she’s never kissed Mist like this. This easy press of their mouths. Their tongues sliding together lazily. Mist reaches down to put her hand on the back of Sunshine’s head, sliding her fingers into her hair to hold her close. Mist slings one leg over Sunshine’s hips and putting the other knee between Sunshine’s thigh. Sunshine pulls her close, circles one arm around her waist and slips the other into the side of her shirt, cupping one of her breasts. Dragging her thumb over a pierced nipple and reveling in the way Mist gasps into her mouth.
Sunshine shifts her hips, presses down against Mist’s firm thigh. She has to pull away from Mist’s mouth on the first grind, her head snapping back against the dock as she drags her clothed cunt over Mist’s bare thigh.
She feels Mist doing the same thing to Sunshine. Little rolls of her hips. Sweet noises falling from her lips as Sunshine drags her hand down, ghosts her fingers over those gills she longed to touch. Feeling the way the delicate skin moves beneath her palm and the way Mist gasps just a little when she presses against them.
“So pretty,” Sunshine gasps, looking up at the way Mist moves above her. Sunshine can feel the how wet Mist is against her thigh. Cool slick pooling against Sunshine’s overheated skin. Sunshine wants to press her back into the dock. To bury her face between Mist’s pale thighs and drink her down.
“Mist—hang on—” Sunshine tries, gets cut off by the way Mist pushes her thigh against Sunshine’s cunt, by the way she reaches down to unbutton Sunshine’s shirt, exposing her breasts to the cool air. Mist bends and seals her mouth around one of Sunshine’s nipples and every thought of pausing flies from her mind.
Sunshine cums first, pulled over the edge by the way Mist drags her thigh over Sunshine’s clit, and those sharp teeth on her nipple. Mist isn’t far behind her. Back arching, slick gushing onto Sunshine’s thigh, into the hem of her shirt. A high sharp moan falling from her lips.
Mist allows Sunshine to pull her down, to curl her warm arms around her. It feels like a gift. Sunshine nuzzles her face into Mist’s curls.
“You don’t have to be lonely either,” Mist says, breath cool against Sunshine’s clavicle. Her long fingers dragging up over Sunshine’s exposed ribs leaving goosebumps in their wake. “I’m right here too.”
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