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#now she’s sleeping peacefully next to me
httpiastri · 2 days
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sleeping patterns – cn34
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nights filled with endless crying and screaming take a toll on clement's confidence.
genre: fluff, slight comfort/angst ig
pairing: young dad!clem x young mom!reader
warnings: none
author’s note: aaaaaaaaaaa im so soft for clem and ive had such an insane baby fever recently. i miss him sm :(( he would be such a good dad, i just know it
f2/f3 masterlist
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the big, red numbers of your electric clock on the bedside table tell you it's only 3am, a frustrated huff passing through your lips when your eyes slowly open. it takes a while for you to realize what's waking you up – but then it makes so much sense.
the soft cries on the other side of the baby monitor sting like a knife in your heart, and you're fully awake in a matter of seconds. you're just about to push yourself up to a sitting position when the bed dips next to you. after turning around, you find your boyfriend already jumping out of bed. "i'll get her."
"are you sure?" you ask, voice creaky after several hours of not speaking.
clement nods, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "go back to sleep," he hums, and just like that, he has waddled through the door to your nursery.
the sad truth is that your little one hasn't been progressing with her sleep as much as she should. she had a period of almost sleeping through the nights about a month ago, but then you were hit with the four-month regression. she's almost five months old now, and still, you have issues with sudden wakeups in the middle of the night. as much as you adore every second you get to spend with her, you just wish you could get one full night of sleep sometime.
you know you won't be able to fall asleep until clement is back, you never can. but it's not because you're worried; in fact, there's not a single piece of concern on your mind over it. you know that he has mastered the cradling-cooing-bouncing sequence by now. and sure enough, your daughter's cries grow lighter and lighter, until the only sound that can be heard from the monitor is the ones of soft steps and hushed whispers.
but something feels off. even when the apartment is completely silent, clement doesn't come back to bed.
it's very strange. he fell asleep once in the rocking chair in the nursery, but complained about his back aching for a week afterwards and promised that he would never put himself through that again.
the moonlight peeking through the poorly shut blinds in the nursery casts a shadow across clement's profile when you step inside. despite how dark it is, you can see every little toy on the floor and every detail of the little race car-themed mobile that dangles above the crib clearly. you're way too used to being in here at night.
clement has put your daughter back down into her crib by now, and his hands are wrapped around the railing as he leans over it, looking down at her. he doesn't react when you come closer, and he doesn't move a muscle even when you place your hand on his shoulder. it's easy to understand that something is bothering him.
"what's on your mind?"
he turns to you and lets out a tiny exhale, as if it was a struggle for him to snap himself out of his thoughts. he shakes his head. "it's nothing."
"tell me," you press, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze.
"well, i…" he squeezes his eyes shut. "i'm kind of freaking out. it's been over four months, and… i still haven't adjusted."
"honey," you start, your hand moving to the back of his neck. "where is this coming from? so suddenly?"
"i don't know," he says with a sigh. "you've seen me lately, i've barely been able to fall asleep at all."
he opens his eyes again and gazes down into the crib, eyes softening once they land on the little bundle of love resting so peacefully. he follows the way her chest rises with her breaths, her slightly pouting lips, her tiny fists that are wrapped around her blankie.
"it feels like i'm the only one who's struggling. you're such a natural, you're doing so much better with her, while i just feel… hopeless."
you don't want to interrupt him – clement doesn't often speak about his deeper feelings, so now that he's finally going, you don't wish to stop his flow – but you have to say something. "i think you're doing really well."
"you actually think so?" he asks. though his gaze doesn't move an inch, he can still see you nodding in the corner of his eye. he takes a deep breath. "i've heard people say that new fathers go through things… that it takes time, that it takes patience- and i've tried to be patient, i really have. but…"
he finally looks at you, and his heart breaks slightly at the sight of your uneasy expression, the tension in your eyebrows and your worried eyes. he hates being the one to make you feel like this.
"i just can't get rid of this constant anxiety. it feels like i'm always stressing over something. over you, over her, over everything."
you relate to every word he says. being this young, you feel like you're stumbling through darkness most of the time, not knowing what to do. it's frankly a guessing game, with mostly correct guesses mixed with some bad ones, since neither of you have any prior parenting experiences. even though he may not see it or know it, you're going through the same things as him.
no one had expected for you to get pregnant at this age, and no one – not even the two of you – had expected for you and clement to actually keep the baby. and sometimes, way more often than you'd thought before, your youth and inexperience has been catching up with you.
it's hard, but at least you have each other.
you step closer, draping your arms around his shoulders in an instant. "it's alright," you whisper into the skin of his neck, your nose filling with that scent that's just so him, and you finally relax a bit. his hands find your waist, fingers caressing your sides through the flimsy material of your nightgown. "it's okay to feel like this. i do, too. i think… all new parents must feel it." you give his neck a soft kiss. "but they all get through it, don't they? and so will we."
he stays silent for a while before he nods slowly. "it's all just so… intimidating. i don't want to mess anything up."
"and you won't." you pull away slightly to look into his eyes. "i trust you fully, and-"
you're interrupted mid-sentence, the sound of your daughter stirring in her crib taking clement's attention away from you as he glances towards her. you see his adam's apple bob as she begins to whine, her fists clenching and face scrunching up. "should- can i take her?" he asks tentatively, hands trembling slightly on your sides.
you nod not even a second later, stepping out of his embrace to give him no excuse to hold back. "go for it."
clement had bought every parenting guidebook he could find, and read every website with tips for new parents on the entire internet – and yet, nothing had prepared him for this nervousness that he's experiencing so often. he knew it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way, but he hadn't expected to feel this uncertain in everything he does. even in the way that he picks his daughter out of her crib, he feels anxious that he's doing something wrong.
however, the second she feels her father's presence, it's far from the story that his anxiety has been making up for him. she lets out one last soft cry before, as if out of habit, nuzzling her face into his skin.
while clement has been struggling this whole time, you can't help but notice that she settles easily into his arms. like she belongs there; like she knows that he'll take care of her.
because he always does.
"see?" you say, letting a finger run along the curve of her cheek as you smile down at her. "that's not so bad, is it? you're doing so well."
considering all the difficulties he's faced, hearing these kind words of appreciation from you gives him comfort in a way that few other feelings can compare to. his gaze is still glued to your daughter, the precious little baby that is his entire world. well, half of his world – the other half is standing right next to him. "i love her, you know," he says softly. "even if she doesn't know it yet, i do. so much."
"i think she knows," you answer, watching as your boyfriend cradles her against his bare chest. he has loved the skin-on-skin contact since day one, and you're sure she does, too; her gentle babbling is always a sure sign that she's completely content. you can't hold back from smiling. "and she loves you just as much."
"sometimes i just can't believe that she's ours. that we made her." his eyes meet yours, nothing but pure love in them. "isn't it strange?"
"strange that we've done something good for once?"
he answers your tease by sticking out his tongue, nudging your shoulder with his, though gently enough to not bother the little one in his arms.
"come on, let's go back to bed," you say, leaning in to press your lips gently to the back of her head. "one night of co-sleeping can't be the entire world, can it?"
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latitudesunknown · 2 years
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bigolgay · 24 days
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My legs are hurting like a bitch today😑
Walking and standing for a long time isn’t fun👎
Driving isn’t fun👎
Crouching? Agonising👎
Walking upstairs? OUCHIE👎
Send me legs😔🦵🏻🦵🏻
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norrisleclercf1 · 3 months
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can i request dad!lando where his son is a huge mommas boy and doesn’t let lando near her
A/N: Totally seeing this happening to him
Rolling over you smile as Lando sleeps peacefully next to you, drooling a little bit. You giggle, touching your husbands, cheek. He had gotten in late from one of his races. You remember when you two were young, you'd always stay in the city and party.
Now, with your 5-year-old boy, Thomas, Lando refused to be away more than necessary. It was rare for you to wake up with the two of you, as Thomas loved sleeping in bed with both of you.
Lando groans, eyes squeezing before opening and you stare at those eyes you feel in love with. The held the same light, but even you could see the age in them. "Morning," Lando smiles and moves closer pulling you in.
"Forgot what it's like to actually just have my wife in bed." He jokes and you roll your eyes. It was well known that Thomas was a mamas boy and even worse, is currently going through a stage of not liking Lando near you.
It was normal apparently for the kids to latch onto one parent and hate when the other is all over them. When Thomas was a baby he hated when you'd kiss Lando or hold him when you husband was present. Now, Thomas was by your side all the time. "Stop, he's just used to being with me." Lando sighs and moves deeper into your hold.
"Mommy!" Thomas throws your door open and jumps onto your bed. He stops and sees Lando in your arms and starts to frown. "No, my mommy. She's not yours, Daddy." Thomas pokes Lando all over who tries hard not to laugh but fails as he starts to laugh and Thomas takes the opportunity to steal Lando's spot.
You laugh and hold your baby boy as Lando glares, but it's a soft glare filled with humor. "Thomas, can't Mommy and I hug?" Thomas glares, the opposite of Lando's glare though. "No, she's mine. Go hug your own mommy." Thomas sticks his tongue out and Lando and you share a look before Lando sighs.
"Okay, that's it. CUDDLE PILE!" Lando yells and Thomas screams no as Lando drops ontop of both of you and laughter fills the bedroom. "Get off!" Thomas yells, but it holds no heat as he giggles as Lando's beard tickles his cheeks. "Nope, I want to cuddle Mommy, and since you're here, have to cuddle you too." Lando let's go of his weight and Thomas squeals but stops when Lando rests his head on Thomas's chest.
"Missed you Daddy," Thomas mumbles even though he was really hating the fact that Lando was touching you. "I missed you too, buddy." Lando sighs feeling tiny hands start to play with his curls.
"Daddy?" Lando smiles and pulls you both closer into his arms. "Yeah, baby?" "Can you let mommy go now? She's mine?" Lando eyes fly open and you can't help but bust out laughing as Lando rolls over and gets up.
"Kicked out of my own bed again," "Yes, now can we have breakfast Daddy?" Thomas asks and you and your husband share a look. "Yes, your highness. Need anything else?" Thomas thinks and sticks his hands up. "Hug," Lando melts, unable to help himself he scoops his little boy up and kisses his cheeks and squeezes him tight. "Alright, stealer. Keep cuddling Mom for me." "Yes, sir." Thomas giggles and goes back to you.
You loved these mornings, they were just perfect for your little family.
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millyhelp · 2 months
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Jason had just woken up. the large arm stretched out so he could pull you by the waist and snuggle you into him. Your side of the bed was empty and cold. Your cell phone wasn't on the nightstand.
Where are you?
Panic broke out in Jason's mind, making the post-sleep haze disappear. You never wake up before him.
Jason stood up with only his black Versace underwear on his body. He went to the bathroom, you weren't there, he went to the office and you weren't there. He always kept weapons hidden around the apartment and this was a time when he picked up a 9mm that was under a corner table in the apartment's hallway.
"Where are you?..." Jason's voice sounded shaky. His hands were tight on the gun in his hands.
He went to the kitchen and walked through the living room, guest room, you were nowhere to be found.
Did she leave me? Could it be that she abandoned me? What did I do wrong?
Jason ran his hands through his hair. No sign of you. Not your purse, not your keys, nothing. For a moment he thought you were just a dream, but no, the nail marks that burned on his back and the hickeys along his chest and abs proved otherwise.
The sound of the door unlocking made him alert at the front door. It opened and there you were. A sigh of relief left Jason's lips. He ran over to you and pulled you towards him.
"Jay-oh, hey..." The bags that were in your hand fell to the floor and you struggled to close the door and hug Jason then. Thick tears that Jason had no idea he was shedding before you arrived wet your shoulder.
"Where-" a sob left Jason's lips "Where were you?"
"I just went to buy things to make you lunch, babe..." You ran your hands welcomingly along Jason's back. He was holding you tight to his body. "You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you up."
her smell. she is here. she didn't leave. I'm not alone. it's her. she is here.
"I'm here now, it's okay." You kissed his neck sweetly and he whimpered. "I'm here..."
"Dont leave me... please..." he whispered
"i won't. im sorry for not waking you up." Jason looked into your eyes. The arms were still around you, you felt cold metal on your back. "What is that?"
Jason remembered he still had the pistol in his hand. He showed you and you looked at him in surprise.
"I thought someone took you from me." The face, red and wet with tears, spoke with melancholy. "I would kill anyone who tried to take you from me."
your heart pounded in your chest. He really thought someone had taken you or that you were gone. You took the bags in your hands. "Come with me. Let's leave this in the kitchen and I'll go back to bed with you, put that gun away, it's not necessary." You said sweetly and kissed Jason's cheek.
Jason nodded. He still had one hand on your waist, he wasn't going to let you go anywhere soon.
you walked to the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter. Jason put the gun next to the things and hugged you from behind while you took the things you bought out of the bag.
his large slender fingers caressed your belly while he watched you attentively and in silence taking things away. Jason's thoughts were lost on you and only you. the way you moved, everything about you gave him peace of mind, his mind wasn't an enemy when you were present.
"a penny for your thoughts." You said with a smile on your lips.
"You."
"Me?" You giggled and felt Jason nod and then felt him rest his chin on your left shoulder.
"Yes." He whispered. "What will you do?"
"a brazilian dish. feijoada is the name." You sigh when you manage to finish taking everything out of the bags.
"hmm." Jason mutters. "can we go to bed now?"
you took Jason's hand and guided him to the bedroom. You only realized that he was only in his underwear when you took off your dress and lay down in just your bra and panties.
You opened your arms to Jason and he buried his face in the middle of your breasts. "Would you kill a kidnapper with just your underwear on?"
"Mhm..." He muttered and you giggled. Jason squeezed your hips, pulling you closer, if that was possible.
"Don't ever do that again..." he said quietly "Never leave again without at least telling me, please..."
"I promise." You kissed Jason's forehead and he buried his face in the valley of your breasts again.
he was finally at peace again and could go back to having a peaceful sleep while in your arms.
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deadghosy · 2 months
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Hey!! I have a request! Could you do the hazbin hotel characters and fem! CatNap reader! I know CatNap is a boy but I would like to see what kind of head canons they would have for a female version of CatNap. Also maybe reader would love chasing things around since cats do that?
HAZBIN HOTEL X FEM CATNAP!READER HEADCANNONS
prompt: you are female resident who helps sinners with insomnia
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OKAY FIRST OFF! YOU DEFINITELY STILL SMELL LIKE VANILLA AND LAVENDER!🦆 NO ONE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS TO ME 😭
What I headcannon is kinda cartoony as reader has her legs cross as she just nods listening to a sinner’s sleep problem as she is just wearing glasses and a vest. Dead ass she just knocks them out like. “Problem solved!”
Charlie made you a room so residents and sinners could come in and have you help them sleep. Like either you knock them out and walk away. Or you actually stop being a lazy mofo and help them personally.
I headcannon based on the fluffy plush bodies that reader is still flat like the male catnap, cause obviously she doesn’t have a chest just like the plush body of Bobby bearhug. That’s basically how I imagine reader’s body is with her being like a little more skinny but definitely having trouble with people asking what her gender is.
“I’m a fucking cat, that’s what I am.” Is what reader would say irritated as it’s obvious in her feminine/decent voice.
Sassy catnap!reader is a goal as you would literally just do shit for shits and giggles😭✨🔥
Headcannon you have a purple vest with a white dress shirt and a black or white skirt with a few moon patterns on it while the color of your dress shirt as a moon pendent💗🦆
You straight up knocked a person out with your red smoke because they had sexualized you during the session and all you had to say was. “Oh really? Count to three…” “count to wh-” immediate knocked out as they fell face first from the chair as you smile with a full grin.
You used your claws to cut open a piece of candy for nifty as she hugs you and walked away happy. You love helping….
Alastor ran from you as you were chasing after him like a predator because he said he doesn’t need sleep…okay so imagine this….
You are sneaking like a lion behind Alastor as he drinks tea and he is like “I feel watched” with a sweatdropped and next thing people see in the halls is you grinning as you drag a motionless Alastor who still holds his tea up.
You wrapped your tail around Charlie to help her put up a banner as you file your claws as it was time to trim them. Like I imagine that as vaggie is like “What.” With a blank confused face seeing her girlfriend get lifted by a 8ft tall female cat
I can see reader having those teas that help people to sleep just incase they don’t like being passed out “force”. So you just make them tea as you listen to them rant as they fall asleep
Imagine reader reading a book as Lucifer is having a hyper moment behind her as she just peacefully reads….
It gives off “calm friend x hyper friend” vibes
Lucifer had one time patted you, and kept petting you until you purred so he can feel relaxed. He likes your purrs.
The duck king definitely has a picture of you purring on his lap…he even has it as his wallpaper kinda because of how soft and good smelling your fur is
OOOH IMAGINE YOU AND ANGEL HAVING A FASHION SHOW IN HIS ROOM💗🦆
Angel definitely gets you some nice clothes to match your aesthetic or purple clothing with white and cream.
You carry nifty in your mouth as if she was your kit….its cute okay…like niffty straight up smile as you hold her like your own kitten.
“This is ma mom now!” Nifty says happily as you just walk around with the back of her dress in your mouth.
Cherri bomb was good about you by Angel dust as Angel had put an image of how cool and badass you are at not following the rules. She always tries to persuade you into giving her your red smoke to make bombs out of it. SHE ONLY WANTS TO CAUSE DESTRUCTION!!!🦆‼️
Sir Pentious brings his egg boiz to you when they can’t sleep so you can use your red smoke on them. They snuggle in your purple fur as you just play a lullaby for them
I imagine you and husk purring by each other out of no where confused…but it’s because of your peaceful scent installed in your fur and body.
You still have your signature cocky smile before you knock a bitch out with the gas coming from your mouth.
I can see how you have a moon ring as [favorite hazbin hotel character] has a sun ring to show off your friendship with them
Imagine how reader gets groomed by the whole hazbin hotel crew because of their 8ft tall frame…there’s a lot of extra work in grooming your fur.
You definitely have those candles as well with that lavender smell with hint of vanilla. You have so much aromatherapy stuff for people. You might as well be the aroma goddess-
I headcannon you using your demon form (basically that form where the player sees catnap as a skinny monster) to scare people 😭 you’re an asshole as I imagine Angel getting ready for his morning to only see you behind the shower curtain with a creepy smile
Angel screamed and ran out the room looking crazy…..😭 Charlie found out and made you apologize to Angel as he was locked in his room..
He’s definitely not going to the bathroom alone-
Just like my other catnap! Reader, you definitely walk around slowly but stealthy releasing that poppy gas just incase a resident or your friends try sneaking out. “It’s time for bed…” you says quietly as you move smoothly around the hotel hallways
Just like before, Lucifer was scared of you until you showed him you can be quite the loving person you can be. Like Lucifer will lay on your body for comfort if he was getting busy from paper work in his office.
I can imagine Angel trying to get you to use your gas on Valentino and you’re like “sure” as you put a jar to your mouth and release it and give it to Angel.
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piedinthepiper · 5 months
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You owe me ☆
Mafia!Jungkook x psychologist!reader
Summary: It’s your job to help people, but is he really suffering? At least it’s a case of the crazy and obsessive syndrome.
Warnings: yandere!Jungkook, dub con, guilt tripping, description of murder and crime, mention of stalking, cursing, weapons (one singular gun), mention of male masturbation, descriptive smut, probably wrong use of psychological terms (oopsie)
Wc: 6.9k
A/n: This is my first post on my bts fic blog! If you like it please show your support! Don’t be a silent reader! My requests are open, share your ideas!
Disclaimer: This is 100% fiction. I am in no way saying that this is how any member of bts would act. Nor do I condone the actions detailed in the story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. If any of the warnings trigger you, or you’re under 18 ¡do not read! I’m not your mother, and I don’t take any accountability for what you decide to read online!
Another disclaimer: I am not a licensed psychologist! Everything related to psychology in this fic is off Google, do not use this to diagnose yourself or anyone else!
Parts: | 1 | 2 |
He clutched the gun close to his chest. Hiding it under his pyjamas. His fathers words ringing in the back of his mind. “Your brother is too soft for this industry, but you son, you’re my perfect descendant.”
He walked into his family’s suite. It was dark, except for one light in the living room. His mother sat there head propped up on her hand reading a book.
“What are you doing up so late, baby?”
She asked, putting the book down in her lap and taking off her reading glasses. He looked over at the white sofa placed next to the large windows. His brother was sleeping there peacefully. Not aware of his presence.
“I let your brother sleep in the living room tonight. His nightmares have returned.”
She continued when he didn’t answer her. He slowly turned his eyes towards his mother again.
“Weak.”
He answered lowly. Her look turned concerned.
“Is something wrong, baby?
His eyes continued to stare at her. He didn’t move a muscle, not yet.
“You know I don’t like it when you look at me like that.”
She continued when he yet again didn’t answer. There was a sturdiness to her voice now. The kind of sturdiness mothers have before scolding you. He started smiling. Not in a sweet innocent way. Not in the way 11 year olds should. But in a sinister and dark way. His hand moved out of his pyjamas top. She looked at the object in his hand.
“Drop that gun right now, Jungkook!”
A scream. Three shots. And silence.
15 years later
“Your patient is here.”
Your assistant, Erin, said through the slightly ajar door to your office. You looked up from your lunch. Quickly glancing over at the stationary computer to check the time.
“I don’t have an appointment. Not in another thirty minutes.”
Erin looked back to the waiting room before slowly stepping inside the office. Closing the door quietly behind her. She walked closer to you.
“He’s been sitting here for an hour already. I told him his appointment wasn’t until 1 pm. He just said ‘I know’ and sat down.”
She hurriedly whispered afraid of whoever was sitting out there.
“Please, Erin. Don’t act like he’s crazy. Send him in, I’ll eat later.”
She gave you a look before holding up two fingers. The signal that the two of you created. Working as a psychologist you meet with all sorts of people. Even criminals. The signal signalised that she would call the police if you hit the button that called directly to the front desk.
“Stop it, there will be no need to call the police. He’s harmless.”
“If you say so.”
She shrugged and walked out the door. The next time it opened a familiar figure entered.
“Good afternoon, Doctor.”
“You’re early Mr. Jeon.”
You had been treating Jungkook Jeon for a little over a month now. And you had come to the conclusion that he had PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. After he had witnessed a series of murders and crimes during his childhood. He was vague about the past, but a few things came out here and there. You only knew about his absent father and that his brother and mother had both been killed. No description of how or when. Which is common at first. It’s hard to re-live your trauma.
“I’m sorry I disturbed your lunch. Just eat, I don’t mind.”
He said as he sat down in the white sofa across your desk. You gave him a small smile as you reached into your drawer.
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll eat after our session.”
You said as you fished his file up and opened it on you desk. You quickly read your notes from the last session as you continued talking.
“How are you doing? Still having nightmares?”
You looked up from the file maintaining eye contact as he answered your question.
“Sometimes, but not as often as before. I dream of you instead now.”
His eyes never left yours as he bit his lip, playing with his piercing he had there. You nodded.
“How often do you dream about me? And what are the dreams about?”
You asked as you scribbled it down in your notes.
“Every now and then they occur. Especially after our sessions. Or after I read your books. You’re a good writer Dr. y/l/n.”
He started smiling. His smile wasn’t sweet, it was different from how he had smiled at you before.
“As for what they’re about, I don’t think you’d want to know, Doctor.”
You tried concealing your confusion at his last statement. Curiosity taking over you.
“Dreaming about people you frequently surround yourself with is not uncommon. If you don’t like to talk about it we don’t have to. I would just like to know if they’re good or bad dreams.”
He nodded, still not breaking his smile nor the eye contact.
“Oh they’re good, Doctor. Don’t worry.”
You smiled back at him.
“That’s good to know. I’m glad to hear your nightmares are slowly being changed with good dreams.”
It went silent for a moment as you wrote down the good news. When you looked up again he wasn’t looking at you anymore, and for some reason you felt relived. His eyes were big and doe like, and when they focused on you for too long you would sometimes feel uneasy. You wondered so what those eyes had experiences in the past.
“What about your sudden outbreaks, are you able to control your anger better?”
He focused on you again the second he heard your voice. His smile returned.
“Sort of, I’ve been letting out the aggression in the gym, after you adviced me to try to stay active. I’ve started boxing.”
You smiled and nodded, writing down boxing in your notes.
“That’s good to hear. It seems that you’re getting better Mr. Jeon, much b-“
“Jungkook, call me Jungkook.”
He interrupted. You stopped and looked at him for a second.
“And no, I’m not cured. I still need you.”
You slowly nodded.
“Well there is no cure for your diagnosis, it’s a matter of being at peace with living with it. But I can understand that you still have things you would want to talk about. Maybe you would like to open up to me about your past?”
The room grew quiet. His eyes now focused on his hands in his lap. His demeanour changed completely.
“I have told you about my past. If I didn’t you wouldn’t have been able to diagnose me in the first place.”
He answered with a bit of underlaying annoyance. You sighed. Something felt off, but you couldn’t figure out what.
“You have told me some parts yes. If you want to go more in detail you can, I’m not forcing you. As your psychologist I would advise talking about it with me. It could be nice to have an outsiders perspective.”
You said in a soft tone. Trying to get your point across at the same time as being gentle. You didn’t want him to feel pressured or as if he had to say anything. When he didn’t open his mouth you understood you crossed his personal line of what he feels fit for you to know. You spoke after almost a minute with silence.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to. You can think about-“
“You’re a smart one.”
He interrupted you again. His eyes raised to meet yours.
“That’s why I like you. You know to some extent what is going on inside my head. I could never do that. I never know what is going on inside your head. If you think I’m weak or even crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy nor weak. It’s not your job to know what is going on inside my head. But it is my job to know what’s going on inside yours.”
He nodded before patting the sofa seat beside him.
“Come here.”
He simply said. You don’t know why, but you had a bad feeling in your stomach. He was acting differently today, compared to other sessions. Either way you got up from your chair, knowing that doing what he said would get you an insight of what you wanted to know. You slowly walked around your desk and sat down in the small sofa next to him. You crossed your legs trying your best not to get too close to him, but he seemed to man spread even more. Making your thighs touch. You placed your notebook in your lap, ready to write down exactly what he told you. He took a hold of your wrist.
“You’re not writing this down, Doctor. I need your full attention.”
It was the first time he had touched you, beside the first time you met when you shook hands. It made you think that you usually never have any sort of physical contact with your patients. Maybe that’s exactly what they need. What he needs to open up to you. You put your notebook down, and continued holding his hand. He looked down at your hands intertwining. Your smooth small hand was a sharp contrast to his bigger tattooed one.
“Tell me whatever you feel comfortable with telling me.”
You said to get his attention back to reality. He went quiet for a few seconds.
“I grew up in a hotel. It was a nice hotel, four stars, good breakfast. My father was almost never home, I didn’t mind though. I had my mother and my brother there. It was perfect in the beginning.”
He stopped. You looked down at his hand, it was shaking. You started drawing small circles at the back of his hand. Trying to calm him down. He looked down at your hands again.
“One night when I was sleeping I was woken up by a loud bang. The door to our home was broken down. A man entered and started shooting. My brother was still sleeping on the sofa and died instantly. My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder.”
He looked into your eyes.
“But he shot her in the head.”
You nodded, looking down at the floor. You knew he was looking at you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes in that moment.
“Did you find out who that man was? Why he would do such a thing.”
He went quiet again at your question. His grip on your hand tightened, as if what he was going to say would make you pull away.
“He was a mobster. Like my father. After the incident he trained me as the next leader of his group. I was 11.”
You looked at him. His childhood was worse than you thought, but he wasn’t saying all this as if it was a traumatic experience. It seemed like he was bragging about it. You would have to go through your notes and his file after work to see if there was something you were missing about him. You couldn’t jump to conclusions just yet.
“Thank you for telling me.”
You smiled at him. He looked back at you with those big eyes. You looked at the watch on your wrist. The session was over.
“Look at the time.”
You were about to let go of his hand to get up from the sofa. But he grabbed you harder. Forcing you to sit still.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. But our session is over-“
“I’ve told you to call me Jungkook.”
“Jungkook, I have other patients today as well. We can continue this next week.”
You tried to assure him. He still didn’t let go.
“I’ve never told anyone about this, and you decide to end the session this quickly?”
You grabbed his hand with your other hand as well.
“You know I usually don’t end sessions like this. But I can’t let my other patients wait. You’re free to sit in the waiting room for as long as you want to.”
He frowned at your comment, but relaxed his hand nonetheless. You got off the sofa and walked to your desk again. Before you could say anything else he got up from the sofa and hastily walked out the door. Slamming it shut behind him.
You had two more patients that day. You waved goodbye to your last patient of the day, a young girl named Olive Thomson who was suffering from severe anxiety, as she walked through the door. You got up from your chair and collected your things. You turned off the computer and the light. You made sure to lock the door as you always do. The only thing you had to do now was say goodbye to Erin by the front desk, and you could go home. You walked into the waiting room.
“Finally.”
You turned to find the owner of the voice, as it was clearly not Erin’s.
“Mr. Jeon what are you doing here?”
You asked as you looked at the man seated in one of the waiting chairs.
“I told him he had to leave, I promise.”
You heard Erin whisper behind you.
“You said I could sit here for as long as I wanted to, Doctor. And please, just call me Jungkook.”
He was clearly upset. You remembered your words from earlier, but you didn’t think he would spend almost four hours just sitting there.
“I did, you’re right. I’m leaving now, Erin will be here for another two hours. But after that we’re closed.”
He got up from the chair.
“I was waiting for you.”
He simply said.
“I’m sorry our session ended so brutally, but I promise we’ll talk about it next week.”
You said and patted his shoulder as you walked past him towards the exit.
“Goodbye, Erin!”
You said as you made your way outside. The wind was cold and you clutched your coat closer to you as you walked towards your car.
“The least you can do is eat with me.”
He had followed you outside. You turned to look at him.
“I’m not that hungry, I just want to go home.”
You was going to open your car door, but his hand suddenly blocked the door. You were about to cuss him out. Tired of his antics.
“You haven’t eaten all day, I hardly doubt that one bite you had for lunch filled you up.”
He sounded threatening, something he had started to do recently.
“I just want to hear your thoughts on what I said. Don’t you think you owe me that? Or do I have to wait a week and dread finding out your opinion of me?”
He was desperate, you could see it. What he was saying was true. He would walk around overthinking for the next week and his health could worsen. You had to take action according to your diagnosis.
“Ok, I’ll eat with you.”
The two of you were sitting at some restaurant. The lights were low and to everyone around you, the two of you looked like a couple on a date. This was obviously not something you would do with your patients, you like to keep things professional. Something about this whole situation felt anything but professional.
“Get whatever you want, my treat.”
He said deeply focused on the menu. You shook your head.
“No thank you, I can pay for my own food.”
You answered.
“I’m the one responsible for you not being able to eat your lunch right? You owe me this meeting and I owe you food. Two birds with one stone.”
You sighed when you didn’t have a rebuttal. The two of you ordered, and the silence grew more and more awkward.
“I’m sorry again, Mr. Jeon I’m-“
“Jungkook. Please y/n! Just call me Jungkook!”
He was clearly upset now. You were a bit taken aback from the sudden use of your first name. He had never called you by your first name before. And the feeling of the professionalism fading away became more apparent.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember your request.”
“Say it. Say my name.”
For some reason you didn’t feel like you had it in you. It felt so strange to call a patient by their name, the same way it felt weird to be called your name by a patient.
“Jungkook.”
You managed to get it out, but you couldn’t look him in the eye saying it. The food luckily came quickly, you were starving. Plus it saved you from whatever he was going to answer. You decided to take the lead. Wanting to stay on track for the actual reason you said yes to join him.
“You said your father was a mobster. Do you know if he’s still living that lifestyle? Do you have any contact with him?”
You asked after taking a big bite of your pasta. Jungkook swallowed before answering your question.
“My father is dead. He’s been dead for 7 years now.”
A question came to mind, but you didn’t know if you dared ask him. You remember he said his father trained him to the life of crime at a young age. For him to take over his fathers legacy. With his father gone he would be next in line to whatever group his father had built. He got the image. Tattoos, piercings, the black clothes. But you couldn’t imagine him being a mafia boss. Maybe it was some sort of stereotype that strong, tough men don’t go to the psychologist. But you were starting to rethink his intentions.
“You’re thinking about something.”
You looked up from your food. He was staring at you.
“Look at you, you do have the ability to understand my mind.”
You said lightheartedly. He chuckled.
“I think you’re brave. Not many people survive the kind of neglect and trauma you’ve experienced in your childhood.”
You said, trying to give him an answer for his entire life story. He nodded and suddenly reached for your hand across the table. You jumped, but didn’t remove your hand. You didn’t want to make a scene with this many people around.
“I’m fine, y/n. I think the only cure I need is you.”
His statement combined with his eyes staring into your soul, gave you chills down your back. Something was off about him. You had to ask. You just had to.
“When your father died, did you…?”
He smiled. The same sinister smile he smiled at you earlier that day.
“I did. I took over his legacy. Me and my father were actually great friends the years before he died. Not that I cared for him. I don’t think I’ve ever cared for anyone in my entire life.”
Another shot of chills froze your body at his statement. You had overlooked it this entire time. His calm demeanour, his tendency to physically violence, his intelligence and charisma and now his lack of empathy. He didn’t suffer from PTSD, he had been lying this entire time.
“At least not until I met you.”
He interrupted your thoughts. You pulled your hand out of his quickly. You took a deep breath trying to compose yourself.
“That’s nonsense. You must’ve cared for your mother.”
He shrugged.
“Not really, she wasn’t exactly the best mother.”
“You don’t really have those nightmares do you?”
You asked, looking at him. It took him a few seconds to answer. Probably contemplating if he should continue his lies or tell the truth.
“I don’t.”
“You didn’t really have a problem with your mother or brother dying either right?”
He let out a small laugh.
“I just told you.”
“Just answer me.”
He poked his tongue into his cheek and leaned forward onto the table.
“What is this? Are you trying to diagnose me, Doctor?”
He said mockingly.
“Answer me.”
You commanded. He sighed and started smiling at you again.
“Everyone has to die at some point. Doesn’t matter when or how.”
You nodded. Your instinct was true.
“You don’t have PTSD, you have ASPD.”
He licked his lips and cocked his head.
“And what does that mean, Doctor?”
“You’re a sociopath.”
He looked taken aback from your bluntness for a second. He probably wasn’t expecting you to crack his code.
“You’ve lied this entire time for your own personal gain. I must admit your acting was really good. But my question is, what do you want?”
He was quiet for a second. You knew he was fighting a war on the inside.
“I really underestimated you y/n. I knew you were smart, but personally I don’t think PhDs make a person smart by default. You’ve really proven yourself to me.”
“My efforts were not made to impress you. You think too highly of yourself Mr. Jeon.”
His gaze switched, you had aggravated him. Not only by calling him by his last name, but by attacking his self image.
“Why don’t you come home with me, we can continue our conversation there.”
You shook your head, and arranged the cutlery neatly by the side of your half empty plate.
“I do not go home with patients, and I definitely do not go home with mobsters. You have already challenged my professionalism by taking me out to eat.”
He smirked.
“What if I stop being your patient? In all honesty I don’t really need your advice, Doctor.”
You grabbed your bag and got up from your seat.
“In all honesty I think you do. We will continue this conversation in my office next week. Good night Mr. Jeon.”
With that you walked away from the table. Not looking back.
The next few days you were on edge. Constantly overthinking everything that had happened that day with Jungkook. You almost wanted to call in sick. Terrified of what would happen next. But regardless of that you had to continue working. You couldn’t let your other patients get affected by whatever was going on with you. You said goodbye to Mrs. Humphrey. An elderly woman that had fallen into depression after her husband had passed. Once the door closed you fetched your lunch out of your bag. You didn’t feel like eating, but you knew you had to. If not your energy would be drained at the end of the day. After the first bite you started hearing noises outside. Erin was almost yelling outside your door. You stood up, wanting to investigate what the commotion was. Before you could take one step the door swung open. And there he stood, your nightmare for the last couple of days.
“I told him you were busy, Dr. y/l/n! I told him he couldn’t enter!”
Erin said hopelessly behind him. He was soaking wet from the rain. His hair plastered itself to his forehead. And his black shirt did the same to his abdomen. He didn’t move, he was just staring at you with a furious look in his eyes.
“It’s fine, Erin. I’ll handle this.”
Erin looked at Jungkook worriedly before looking back to you. She held up two fingers. You nodded, and she left.
“Sit.”
You said, as you yourself sat down behind your desk. He closed the door behind him, but didn’t sit down. He continued to lure near the door.
“You interrupt my lunch again, I don’t want this to become a habit.”
“Please, spear me the bullshit.”
He said, and you went quiet. Wanting him to say whatever he came here for.
“How did you do it?”
He said after some time. You looked confused at him. Not understanding what he was referring to.
“Did what?”
You asked in almost a sharp tone. You were annoyed. He let out a small laugh, it almost sounded like a sneer.
“You’re cute when you’re angry with me.”
He started slowly walking towards you.
“But I need to know how you did it, y/n.”
He stopped once he reached the end of your desk. You looked up at him.
“What did I do?”
You ask again. He puts his palms on the table and lean closer to you. You don’t move, trying to prove to him and yourself that you’re not scared.
“You figured out a side of me I never understood I had. If I, the person that’s bearing this disease didn’t know. How come you knew?”
You leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms. He was clearly distressed. Maybe even more than what you had been for the last days. And for some reason it pleased you.
“I told you, this is what I do. This is my job.”
You could tell he was conflicted in what to do next. You could practically see the way the wheels were turning inside his head. But eventually he sat down.
“I studied the human mind for six years to be able to understand things not even you are aware of.”
He scowled at you as you talked to him in a harsh tone.
“I’ve done research, and I’ve written books about this, that you have read may I add. What made you think that I wasn’t capable?”
He didn’t answer. The two of you just stared at each other.
“This is not a session, I demand answers, Jungkook.”
His eyes lit up when he heard his name fall off your tongue.
“Like I said, I underestimated you.”
He answered short.
“You didn’t answer my other question.”
You stated. He looked confused at you.
“The question from the other night. What do you want?”
He started laughing. You did not find it funny, and watched him as his fit of laughter died down.
“Y/n, you can’t be serious! You’re telling me that you were able to diagnose me with some bullshit, while I was pretending to be something else. But you’re not able to see the fact that I want you.”
The room got quiet. For the first time in a long time you felt completely speechless. He moved to get up from the sofa, but stopped the second he saw you roll your chair further away from him. He could tell you were afraid now, there was no point in acting tough.
“Come here.”
He said with a smirk and patted his thigh this time. There was still fight in you though.
“You’re disgusting.”
You uttered. He sneered at your comment.
“You’ve exploited me for your own satisfaction this entire time.”
You looked strictly at him, as he sighed.
“What was I supposed to do? You’re constantly on my mind. Day and night. And it’s awful!”
“That’s called an obsession.”
“I know what it’s called!”
He bit back. You went quiet, waiting for him to give you more information.
“The only way I can get a break is after i come to the thought of you. It usually takes around three times until I’m too tired to think of you.”
You couldn’t hide your disgust from your facial expression anymore. Looking at him as if he was a rat on the street.
“And then I thought if that helps, the real deal would help even more.”
He got up from the sofa now. You stayed seated, your hand slowly moving across your desk towards the telephone.
“I need you, y/n.”
You broke eye contact and looked down to hit the right number for the front desk. Jungkook quickly understood what happened and pushed the stationary phone off the desk. It fell to the floor with a bang, breaking it on impact. You got up quickly, wanting to distance yourself from him.
“How did you know? About the phone, about me. We never met before our sessions. Why? I don’t understand.”
You blurted out in pure stress of the situation. He smiled as he started walking towards the side of the desk. You walked the other way, wanting to keep the desk between the two of you. He chuckled.
“You’re cute when you’re confused too.”
You continued walking backwards. Trying to keep as much distance from him, while he tries to close it.
“I’ve followed you for a long time, baby. A very long time.”
The two of you had walked an entire round around the desk now. He jumped down onto the sofa again. His hand gracing the sofa cushions beside him.
“Do you want to know the full story?”
You knew what he was hinting at. Your entire body was screaming not to get anywhere near him. But you needed to know. He didn’t have anything to hold back now, you were certain he would tell you the truth. So you walked towards the sofa, carefully sitting down beside him. You took a second to compose yourself before looking at him. Signalising that’s you were ready. He smiled.
“I have known you since we both were children. Your father was my brothers shrink. He´s the one that had PTSD. I saw you for the first time in the hotel lobby after your father had finished his session with my brother. You were maybe 6 and sat there for so long, waiting for your father to return. When I saw you, I knew we were meant to be. We were soulmates. And for the first time in my life I felt something for someone.”
He grabbed your hand. You quickly out of reflex tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip. He tugged your hand harshly towards him and your entire upper body followed. Without your hand to catch you, you fell straight into his chest. His other hand sneaked around your waist as you composed yourself.
“Let me go.”
You said annoyed, placing your hand on his chest to keep a distance.
“If you want to hear the rest, you have to play by my rules, baby.”
His eyes focused on your lips as he whispered to you. You shook your head.
“I don’t need to know the rest. I can make out the sob story on my own. Boy falls in love, boy doesn’t get girl.”
He shook his head and let go of your waist. You quickly sat back up, brushing off imaginary dust from your lap.
“You should show me some respect.”
He said with a serious tone. You rolled your eyes and crossed your eyebrows.
“I’m not scared of you.”
He chuckled at your comment, placing his hand around the back of the sofa.
“I don’t want you to be scared of me either. I just think that you should show the man you owe your life to some respect.”
He touched your shoulder, drawing small circles on your jumper.
“I don’t owe you anything.”
He smirked.
“Oh, but you do. I made you the person you are today. Without me you wouldn’t be here.”
You sighed tiredly at him.
“You’re unbelievable.”
You got up from your seat and walked back to your desk. Starting to pack up your stuff. You were so done with him. He needed help, but you would no longer treat him. You decided as much.
“I need to get out of here, if you’re not gone when I’m back I’ll call the police.”
You put your bag over your shoulder, ready to walk away.
“How did you get into Yale, Doctor?”
He asked out of the blue. You stopped in your tracks.
“What? Why?”
He shrugged.
“Just seems so weird that someone with your grades would be able to attend any Ivy League school. Don’t you agree?”
You went quiet. Not knowing where he wanted this conversation to go.
“And don’t you think it’s weird how you always got A’s even when you were out partying instead of studying?”
You thought back to the years when you were studying. You originally did only apply to Yale just because your father went there. You didn’t think you actually was going to make it, because your grades were mediocre.
“What are you saying?”
“You have no idea how many people I had to blackmail to get you there. How many men I had follow you constantly. How many professors I had to bribe to make them give you a good grade. I’ve spent millions on you, y/n!”
Your mind was racing. You didn’t understand anything. Was your entire life a lie?
“I have to give it to you. Your first book made it without my help. But when you came out with your second book, and it wasn’t a success right away. I bought almost half the copies and payed a hefty amount of money to make it a New York Times best seller.”
You dropped your bag in awe. What he was saying made a lot of sense. You started rethinking every significant moment in your life. Wondering if he was behind it all. He got up from his seat and started moving towards you. But this time you didn’t step back. You let him come close to you.
“I’ve done so much for you, baby. Why are you so ungrateful?”
You looked up at him. He was now standing right in front of you. So close that you could almost feel his breath on your skin.
“I didn’t ask you to do any of this. You can’t keep me in debt for something I-“
You struggled with continuing the sentence. The reality of his words hit you, and your tears threatened to spill.
“It’s ok, baby. I’m not asking for much, considering what I’ve given you.”
He whispered calmly. His hands found your waist. He took one step closer to you and placed his forehead against yours.
“All I want is you, right here on this sofa, showing me how grateful you are.”
You couldn’t hold your tears in anymore, letting them slowly drip down your cheeks. One of his hands abandoned your waist to wipe away the hot tears on your cheek. You looked into his eyes as he continued to hold your face.
“If I do it, will you leave me alone?”
His eyes focus on your lips and how close you were. He had never been this close to you.
“I can never leave you. You’re my soulmate.”
He simply answered. You looked down at the floor.
“Jungkook, you’re delusional. You have to stop.”
“How can I stop? Huh? You’re the only one that matters in my life!”
You continued looking at the floor, even when he pushed himself off you in his fit of rage.
“I fucking love you!”
You shook your head, looking up at him this time.
“You don’t love me! You don’t even know me! You’ve created this illusion in your head that we are meant to be, but we’re not!”
You yelled back at him angrily.
“You’ve interfered in my life when I didn’t ask you to! You don’t have the right to do that!”
“And where would you be without me?”
He argued back.
“You act like you don’t care! But you know that without my help you wouldn’t be anything. You would’ve been a nobody.”
His words stung. What he was saying was the truth. The hard truth. You would have never made it to college. Never gotten this job. Never been a successful author. Never followed in your fathers footsteps and made him proud. You heard Jungkook sigh.
“I’m sorry baby, but it’s the truth.”
He said dejectedly. You took a deep breath. Realising what you had to do.
“I’ll do it.”
You simply said and met his eyes.
“I’ll have sex with you once, but after this I need you to stop.”
“Baby-“
“Listen to me! I’ll find you another psychologist. I want you to go to there and get help. When your treatment is over-“
You stopped for a second. Contemplating if you wanted to commit to the promise you were about to make.
“I’ll meet you again. To talk. I can’t promise you more than that.”
His eyes lit up and he swiftly lifted you in a hug. Letting out small sounds of excitement and shaking you around a little. You couldn’t help but smile at his boyish action. After a moment he put you down again, but continued to hold your waist.
“I’ll do whatever you say, baby. I’ll do anything for you.”
Your hands found his strong chest. You kept the eye contact, but your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to his lips for a split second. And that’s all he needed to kiss you. It started slow, but quickly got hotter. Your hands slid around his neck, unconsciously pulling him deeper into the kiss. He stepped backwards. You were taken aback by the sudden movement, but followed his lead. He guided the two of you to the sofa. The same sofa he had sat in every time he came to your sessions. He broke the kiss to jump down on the sofa. He looked up at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. He had been waiting for this for many years, and finally he had you. He reached out for you as you straddled his lap, feeling his already hard cock between the fabric of your trousers. His hands moved down to your ass. Grabbing it the second he had a chance, and letting out a satisfied groan. You reached down to the hem of your top and pulled it off.
“You’re so fucking hot.”
He said with half lidded eyes as he watched your bare skin. You smirked at his comment and reached for his shirt as well. He lifted his back off the sofa to help you get it off. Once it was off you started examining his tattoos. Tracing his arm with your finger all the way up to his shoulder. You stopped once you saw the little circular scar. Your entire body froze as you remembered his words from your last session. “My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder. But he shot her in the head.”. He looked at you confused for a second, before he looked at his shoulder where your eyes were glued. He understood what you were thinking.
“You killed your family.”
You said and looked back at him. He was already shaking his head.
“The man was you. You killed them.”
You tried to get up from his lap, suddenly scared of the killer you were straddling. But he held you down with a strong grip.
“Baby calm down, let me explain.”
You continued to struggle. Not listening to his words.
“Y/n!”
He suddenly screamed. Getting your attention. He sighed.
“I didn’t kill them.”
“I don’t fucking believe you.”
You started struggling again, now hitting his chest as well. He quickly flipped the two of you. Pushing you down onto the sofa with his own body weight. Holding your wrists harshly.
“So what if I killed them? It doesn’t take away from the fact that you still owe me this!”
He looked dangerous on top of you like that. A single tear fell down the side of your cheek. He was right yet again. He kissed you tenderly. It was a sharp contrast to the tone in his voice.
“You still owe me your body.”
He started kissing down your neck. Eagerly taking one of your boobs in his hand. His crotch grinded against you for a second before you heard him curse under his breath.
“I’ll have to taste you another time. I can’t fucking wait any longer to be inside you.”
He started working on your jeans. Ripping them off in a hasty speed together with your panties. He quickly loosened his belt and repeated the action on himself. His cock sprung free, but you weren’t able to look at it for more than a second before he lifted your legs over his shoulders and pushed into you. The two of you moaned in unison. He was big, but he took little to no time for you to adjust, as he started thrusting into you with brutal force.
“You’re so fucking tight.”
He moaned, stopping his motion to spit on your pussy. Using it as lubricant. He continued quickly after. Moans and heavy breathing filled your office as the two of you strived to reach your orgasms. He reached down and started rubbing your clit. Almost overstimulating you.
“I’ve waited for this for so long, baby. You feel better than I ever imagined.”
You felt a familiar knot building in your lower stomach. The rapid speed of his hands and the stretching of his cock making you come closer to release quicker than ever.
“I need to come inside you. I need to fill you up, baby.”
You nodded. Not knowing or caring what you said yes to. You were already on cloud nine and needed him to continue whatever he was doing.
“Say my name.”
You understood he was close, and you were too.
“Jungkook!”
You moaned as your orgasm washed over you. You legs clenched around him, and your hands found his arms. Digging your nails into his skin. He came the second he heard his name escape your mouth. He let you ride out your orgasm, before he fell on top of you. You felt his breath go back to normal as he nuzzled into your neck. The two of you laid there in serenity for a while. Just feeling each others heartbeats and listening to each others breathing.
He would do as you told him. He would go see someone. He would do whatever it took to have you like that again. He would never let you go. You owed him this after all.
Thank you for reading! Do you want to read more?
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sweetestdesire · 10 days
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STUBBORN PRIDE
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WARNINGS: absolutely none. Just some pure, sweet content.
PAIRING(S): Jack Hughes x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: in which Jack Hughes is too stubborn to let Fem!Reader peacefully sleep on the couch.
Jack Hughes was difficult to have arguments with. He was stubborn and never seemed to take things seriously and he never really listened to a word anyone said. Everything always went in one ear and out the other. Like when Y/N told him she’d be on the couch for the night so she could have space, for example. It seemed space was not a word in Jack’s dictionary, because he strolled into the living room with his hands in his pockets and his lips whistling a soft tune.
Y/N glared at him from her spot on the couch, watching as he stopped a few feet before her. There was a smooth grin on his face, almost like he had plastered it on for appearance’s sake, like it masked the true nature of his feelings as he hid them with that usual unbothered smile of his.
“Is there room for one more?”
“No.” Y/N said bluntly, promptly turning away to face her back to him. She didn’t have to look back to know his face was curled into that pout of his, the dangerous one that did too good of a job of convincing her to give him his way.
“Okay, fine.” Jack huffed, and then she heard the soft thud of his body settling on the floor, making her itch to turn and peek over the edge of the couch.
Y/N succeeded at ignoring for him for approximately thirty seconds before the curiosity got the better of her and she swallowed her pride and took a quick look. sure enough, he laid curled on the hardwood floor, limbs awkwardly sprawled as he stared up at her with innocent eyes.
"What are you doing?" Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, and he stared at her like she’d asked a silly question, and maybe she had. Being hard to get rid of had always been Jack’s specialty, and she should’ve known better by now that retiring to the couch was never enough to retire from him.
"I’m going to sleep. What does it look like I’m doing?" Jack said like it was obvious. She almost smacked him with her pillow for his tone, but she had half a mind not to. It was the perfect opportunity for him to steal it, and it wasn’t her problem he forgot the single most important thing when it came to sleeping.
"Well, why here?" Y/N scowled, making him shrug as he settled his hands behind his head and looked up to the ceiling.
"Seems like a good spot to sleep if you ask me.” He said casually. “Nice hard floor to cushion my back, cool breeze of the air conditioning to keep me cold, and the clock ticking in my ear to keep me up. Sounds like the perfect place, eh? And if I get bored, we even have a TV.”
"I let you have the bed, you idiot.” She pursed her lips.
"Who needs a bed when I can sleep on the hardwood floor next to my sweet, pretty girl?”
Y/N cut him off before he could finish, feeling the last possible vein she could preserve while dating a man like Jack Hughes pop. "Well, then I’m going to use the bed if you won’t.” She sat up, grabbing her pillow and blanket.
And because he’s Jack Hughes, the bane of her existence and the sole cause of all her headaches, he sat up, too. "Good idea, baby. Let’s go.”
"No. You stay here, and I’ll take the bed."
"Okay.” Jack hummed, still not making any moves to lay back down.
Y/N quickly realized this wasn’t a battle she could easily win with him and she rolled her eyes, shoulders slumping in defeat as she glared down at him. Jack looked up at her with that same innocent look, those same wide eyes that blinked up at her like they couldn't possibly do any wrong.
"You do realize I’m not sharing the bed with you just because you're stubborn, right?" Y/N asked dryly.
Jack grinned, that familiar glint in his eyes that always meant trouble. “Well, I never said anything about taking the bed, now did I?”
"Jack, you can't possibly mean sleeping on the floor next to the bed.”
"It’s technically not the bed.” He insisted. “All you said is you're not sleeping with me. You never said anything about near me."
"Okay, I don't want to sleep near you.” She scowled.
"Nuh-uh, no way.” He shook his head. “You can't add rules now. It’s far too late."
"Jack, I swear to fucking God.”
"So, what'll it be? Bed or couch?"
"I hate you.” Y/N grumbled, settling back down on the cushions of their living room couch, back once more facing him. She could hear his body softly settle back onto the floor again, and after a few beats of silence, he spoke up again.
"Can I use your blanket? I’m cold."
"No."
"C’mon, just toss half of it over the edge, I’ll scoot over. We can make it work somehow.”
"Are you intentionally trying to piss me off?" Y/N snapped as she sat up, glaring down at him once more.
Jack Hughes was difficult to have arguments with. He was stubborn and annoying and so stupidly handsome. He made her eyes soften before she could help it as they grazed over his messy hair and the soft glow of his lip balm. He made her anger ebb away slowly no matter how hard she tried to latch onto it just from that toothy grin of his. He made her forget they were arguing and that she should be mad when she noticed the soft, gentle traces of love in his eyes.
So, Y/N blinked as she watched him, letting out a quiet sigh as he shook his head and offered her a small, innocent smile, one that told her he loved her, that he wasn’t mad, and that he'd wait on the cold, hard floor with no pillow and blanket for her as long as he needed to.
"No.” Jack chuckled. “No, I’d never want to make you mad. You’re scary when you get mad.”
"That’s rich, coming from someone who’s supposed to be a big, strong hockey player.” Y/N muttered, making him laugh softly. And she wasn’t mad anymore, not as much as she was just a bit ago. Maybe it was because she loved him too, even despite the way he made her veins pop, and her patience thin, and her head ache with that aggravating personality of his. Maybe that's what love was, when even the bad and the ugly were part of the good.
"Behind every strong man is an even stronger woman.” He cheekily remarked, his grin never fading.
"Just come here.” Y/N groaned, scooting over to make room for him on the couch.
Jack didn’t need to be told twice. He didn’t even waste a single moment as if he'd been expecting it all this time as he climbed in beside her and pulled her into his chest. It was cramped and slightly uncomfortable as her legs dangled over the edge and her pillow barely fit under both of their heads, but his body was warm and his arms held her tight and she could faintly make out the thrum of his heart against her body. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, not if it was with Jack.
"Did you miss me too much?" Jack wriggled his eyebrows, pouting when she shoved his face away as he leaned in for a kiss.
"You still haven't earned kisses back yet.” Y/N grinned. “Goodnight, Jack."
"But I can't sleep without a goodnight kiss.” Jack pouted, softly nudging her with his shoulder.
"I love you.” Y/N cut him off with a giggle. Jack Hughes was difficult to have arguments with, but she thought that she won this time.
659 notes · View notes
feyascorner · 4 months
Text
blurry eyes
summary. Orin takes Astarion as a hostage and you nearly lose your mind trying to get him back. Even when you do, things aren't the way they used to be.
warnings. angst/comfort
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
a/n. fluffier break from TFBU bec it's draining the soul out of me🧍‍♀️ this is kinda messy but for me orin always kidnaps lae’zel and Im glad it’s never astarion but what if;;;
You're not yourself. Everyone knows it. Not since Orin showed up at camp wearing Astarion's face, his own blood smeared on the poor imitation of the cheeks you love so deeply. She taunted you, smiling wickedly in a way that made your stomach churn before you lunged at her with a blade, only for her to vanish into a mist of red.
You usually prefer to use your silver tongue to get out of a dangerous situation. But now, all you want to see is her blood sprayed across a wall.
There are bags under your eyes, going days without sleep. You hadn't realized how accustomed you'd become to his arms cradling you in the dead of night, his cold hands wrapped around your shoulders and your cheek pressed against the crook of his neck. You hadn't realized how attached you'd gotten to him.
The fight is quick. Despite your companion's warnings to get some rest, you charged into Bhaal's temple the moment you had access to it, and rightfully so, because she didn't stand a chance against your wrath.
And now, even with him at your fingertips, laying so peacefully on a stone slab with his eyes shut, all you can feel is the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You gently touch his cheek, and you find that it's cold, as it's always been. There's a slice of a knife, surely to leave a scar if it's not treated well. You smile a bit, the first time in days, thinking of how he'd complain about the blemish a few weeks from now.
He finally stirs, and when his eyes peel open to your face, his face falls.
"Gods above," he whispers. "Stop with the damn tricks, Orin. I'm no fool."
Your heart breaks. And while all you want to do is wrap him in your arms and wipe away his frown, the adrenaline holding you together is long gone. You're exhausted, you realize, only managing to grab the edge of the stone slab before you crumple onto your knees, vision going blurry.
Ah, maybe you should have rested.
No, not when he'd been here to suffer alone, forced to face Orin's blood-thirst. Not when you'd smelled his blood on her blade.
You want to comfort him, but nothing comes through your throat.
The two of you don't speak much. He doesn't speak much to anyone, for that matter, for a few days. You can sense the uneasiness of your other companions, who don't dare ask what Orin did to him while you'd nearly lost yourself trying to get to him. You don't approach him, fearing he might recoil away.
The only thing you can do is watch over him while he writhes in his bed, drenched with sweat and nightmares you cannot take away. You're not even sure if they're about Cazador or Orin anymore, but you can't bring yourself to touch him or the healing scar on his cheek in hopes of soothing him.
It's only two weeks later when most of your companions have gone out, and it's just the two of you on opposite sides of the room. You rub at your blade with a cloth, numbly focused on sharpening it for a bigger foe while he's still reading his book in a silence that should feel comfortable but only makes your mouth dry.
"Hells, I can't do this anymore."
You blink as he strides across the room, and he's suddenly sitting next to you while you continue staring at him like he grew a mushroom from his head. "Do what?"
"We must talk about---well, you know, darling."
Even in this brittle stage of your relationship, the way he says your nickname is loving. It makes your heart squeeze.
You place the blade on the ground. "Okay. We can talk."
There's a silence that hangs in the air before he sighs. "Torture is not a foreign concept to me, my dear. If my years under Cazador's palace did anything for me, it's made my pain tolerance impossibly high."
You frown. This does not make you feel better.
He eyes you from the side, leaning back on both his hands. "What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to worry so much about me. Even if I were to perish, I'm sure there are other vampires willing to help you with your cause to defeat the Elder Brain, though they'd be considerably less charming."
You're immediately on your feet. "Of course, I was worried about you! And I don't care if you've gone through hell and back, pain is still pain, and I don't want to see or think about you even stepping foot into something like that, much less the temple of the Lord of Murder!"
He stands after you. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Other vampires?" you say in disbelief. "Well, I don't want other vampires, I want the one that I can't even sleep without."
Your eyes are glossy now, and you hate yourself for it. You should be consoling him, not becoming emotional over the torture that he experienced. But the words come out like vomit, and you can't stop yourself.
"Love, please don’t ruin your pretty face with tears,” he tries, hands awkwardly hanging in the air as he struggles to find what to do.
“Don't act like getting kidnapped isn't a big deal," you swipe at your eyes. "You won't even talk to us."
He blinks. "Me? Avoid speaking with you?"
"Yes!"
"Well, forgive me for giving you space. You looked positively demented after you were done stabbing that vile woman to the death, I assumed you needed time to recover before I could approach you."
"What? I was giving you space."
"I assure you it was the other way around.”
“You were avoiding me!”
“Because you were avoiding me!”
You're both just staring at each other now, at a loss of words for what turned out to be a miscommunication that should have been resolved days ago. The silence hangs thickly in the air, and a rush of emotions runs between you two, expressions shifting every few moments before they simultaneously become one.
He purses his lips to refrain from smiling. You stifle a laugh.
Then you're both laughing and while the topic of discussion does not warrant as such, you can't help yourself when days of ignoring one another have come down to such a minor bump between you. When both of you calm, you sigh again, this time in utter relief. "This was anticlimactic."
"It was," he confirms. "But this one time, I don't mind."
Wordlessly, you wrap your arms around his torso, burying your face into his chest while he returns the gesture by holding you tighter. You stand there a bit, quietly, until he clears his throat.
"For the record, I don't want you to go around searching for other vampires."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
You decide he can tell you more about what happened when the time comes, but now, you're more than happy the way you are.
941 notes · View notes
jkslipppiercing · 14 days
Text
Never Been A Friend | Part 2 | Jeon Jk
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♧ synopsis: Sneaky glances across the room weighed with a dozen different meanings left to be unsaid; confusion desire, lust. He was never a friend, was he?
♧ pairing: brother's bsf!jk, bratty!reader.
♧ warnings: jungkook is so pussy whipped it's hilarious, he's kinda in denial, masturbation but at the end, y/n is drunk, jungkook taking care of drunk y/n, jungkook curses like every other sentence, this is jk pov btw!!, kinda fluffy but really really cute, he loves her eyes, and i forgot what else, EXPLICIT CONTENT!!
♧ WC: 3.1k
a/n: hiiiii sweethearts! ive missed you guys so much 💕💕 make sure to read part 1 before reading this if you havent 🥹🥹 hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think!
Part 1
index
taglist
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“y/n?” I shake her shoulder softly, attempting to nudge her awake. “wake up.”
When she mumbles something unintelligible and trails off to sleep, I exhale a soft sigh and hop out of my car after pocketing my phone and keys.
I'm fucked.
Utterly fucked.
The ride to her brother and I's dorm had been one of silence. Other than a few grumbles and whines from y/n when I seated her in the passenger seat next to me, she spent the ride peacefully sleeping. Unaware.
So unaware that I had to reach over and tug the hem of her dress down each time it hiked up her thighs. Her bare thighs. Her full, smooth, silky thighs.
Fuck, man.
She makes my blood boil.
I’m still not over the fact that she was left alone and oblivious before her brother had called me. How long had it been?
What if I hadn't picked up?
What if something happened to her?
Am I exaggerating? Maybe.
Does that lessen my anger? Fuck no.
No, because how the fuck can a brother be so nonchalant about leaving his sister alone while drunk? All for a quick fuck?
He's never gonna hear the end of it. I’ll make damn sure of that, but for now, I have to get this drunk-out-of-her-mind girl up to my apartment dorm.
I had tried asking her for her address multiple times, but all in vain, of course.
I didn’t even know she was in town.
Thought she had stayed with her parents in her home town- which her brother had mentioned only twice, maybe even three times- after graduating high school. He brought it up in conversation once but never justified why.
I mean, sure, not everyone wants to go to college and that’s fine, but why hadn't she?
Was she more of a liberal person?
Did she figure out her future already?
Why do I care?
I shake my head as I round the front of the car to get to her side. Her head falls when I open her door, and I instinctively catch with my hand, hoisting her up so she’s in a properly seated position with her head on the headrest.
God, I can already feel the headache approaching.
Taking her seatbelt off, I pat her cheek to wake her.
“y/n.”
No response.
“Y/n, come on.”
I pat her cheek again.
Nothing.
Oh well.
Placing one arm under her knees and another under her middle, I carefully slide her out of the seat and carry her into my arms. Her breath tickles my neck as her head rests on my shoulder, her nose nudging my pulse.
Which skyrockets.
Fuck, that felt good.
But I don’t know how to feel about that, because:
1. This is y/n we’re talking about.
2. A little nudge to the throat has me weak at the knees?
3. Toughen up, dickwad.
She huffs as she adjusts her head and pulls her arms around my neck for support, nuzzling my neck farther before mumbling something that sounded like, “mmm, warm…”
Her head is nestled to the crook of my throat and her breath sends a shiver down my spine.
The fact that I have to catch the moan in my throat has my cheeks grow an embarrassing shade of pink.
Clearing my throat awkwardly- which causes y/n to groan at the disturbance- I try my best not to disturb this brat’s beauty sleep as I walk up to the apartment building.
Wait…something’s not right.
I stop my stride short to try and point out the prickling feeling-
This brat’s dress is so short it might be flashing her ass by the way I’m carrying her.
Jesus Christ, give me strength.
○○○
Wincing at the loud creak of the door announcing my arrival, I nudge the door closed with my foot as I step into my apartment.
A shared apartment.
An apartment I share with the almost passed out drunk girl im carrying in my arms’ brother.
Yeah, shit.
Never in a million years would I have ever imagined this shit happening.
It’s not that big of a deal, except I cant really help the intrigue that accompanies the thought that comes with y/n.
Why did she scowl at me the first time she met me? Had I done anything to cause her to show such an awful bad impression?
I must admit, I never stopped thinking about her.
Not in a stalker way of thinking. I didn’t think about her in an obsessive type of way…not at all.
I guess I could say it was just…weird.
I never understood.
I was just interested.
Interested in the way her hips move on the dance floor.
Interested in the way she acts like a brat whenever she feels like it.
Hell, I'm interested in the way she flips me off whenever we cross paths for the fun of pissing me off.
Yes, she gets on my nerves; but she was never worth throwing a fuss over.
I barely saw her once every two months, if we’re being honest. The college her brother and I go to being almost three hours away from where they lived, it was a long trip.
But the way I felt about this girl puzzled me way more than I’d ever appreciate, especially since I knew nothing about her.
Nothing. Nada.
Where she goes to college, where she spends her time living, what she does on a daily basis…
No clue.
Then…what the fuck is she doing here?
A pained groan from the girl driving me insane pulls me back from my raging confusion.
She clings to me harder like a baby koala as she mumbled something incoherent under her breath, snuggling into the crook of my neck into what seems like her favorite habit tonight.
That one motion has become my weakness in a matter of minutes.
All because of her.
She does it again, this time connecting her nose with a spot right under my jaw. Her lips just shy of the skin on my throat, she groans in what seems like satisfaction.
My knees almost fucking buckle.
I try to focus on any sound in the apartment, relieved when I'm met with silence.
With a resigned sigh, I make my way to my bedroom.
Keeping my footsteps quick and light, I shift my door open with my shoulder-
Fuck!
I cant help the grimace that makes its way to my face.
It fucking reeks in here.
Of sex. Right. I was having sex.
The second relief of tonight washes over me when I find my bed empty, the sheets rumpled and messed up on top.
I should probably make a call to apologize to the fuck buddy previously occupying my bed, but I got better things to do.
A particular brat to take care of.
God, she cant sleep in here when it smells like this.
Making a detour, I go for the couch, setting y/n lightly on her ass. Her hands tighten around my neck in protest, which causes my neck to crane down awkwardly, but it still makes me chuckle when she frowns up at me through her blood shot eyes.
Fucking adorable, that is.
How her lashes prettily frame those sad eyes.
Sad eyes I was always unable to forget.
Those sad eyes. My demise.
Fuck me.
I untangle her arms from around my neck, adjusting the pillows thrown messily around the couch to create a cozy , temporary cocoon.
Picking her up swiftly, I lay her down on her side and brush a stray hair away from her face. Her soft, soft, soft features peer up at me as she struggles to keep those pretty eyes open.
“You’re smiling.” The cutest little slur laces up with her words and I just cant fight the flutter in my chest.
What the fuck?
It’s then I realize how hard I’m smiling.
“I’m not.” Too rough. Too scratchy. Too fucking vulnerable.
She’s not even touching you, fucker, and here you are. All hot and bothered.
Shut up.
She giggles, the sound reverberating as the most adorable drunken giggle I’ve ever witnessed.
It pains me how oblivious she is.
Her dress hikes up her thighs, almost baring her ass to me, and in other cases I would’ve been turned on.
But now? My blood fucking boils.
I should’ve killed that fucker while I could.
I’d taken care of drunk girls before, most of them being my friends.
I’m the boring ass in the friend group that always stays sober to take care of the others. The others that get so drunk and messed up that I have to take them up to their apartment and put them to bed because of how out of their mind they become.
I’ve never thought much of it.
Never cared, really.
But this girl?
Goddamn it.
One second she infuriates the hell out of me; she’s stubborn, hot headed, and just reckless.
Irresponsible.
Then the other I’m smiling like a dork in love.
She’s not even my type for fucks sake.
But then again, this is the first time I’ve seen her like this.
So vulnerable, with her guard down. I tug her dress to cover her ass with barely restrained madness.
She reaches up to touch my face with what seems like the utmost amount of effort from her to make any movement.
“pretty.” As she touches my face with light fingertips and pink cheeks.
Crumble. I almost crumble.
“Yeah?” I don’t know what’s gotten into me when I push away another rogue hair strand as she giggles again.
“mhm.” A little hum of contentment before she drops her hand and flutters those eyes closed.
Softly, softly, softly.
With a step back and a tired sigh, I cover her up with a blanket as I tuck her in and make sure she’s comfortable.
I make pretty quick work with taking my bedsheets off, with utmost effort not to grimace every time I get a slight whiff.
It’s not that bad…it’s just…weird.
Really weird.
Whenever I picture y/n in my bed, every single fantasy that clouds my mind is inappropriate.
But tucking a girl in a bed that was previously used by another girl just hours before? Not to mention, a naked one?
That’s a douche move.
And I never thought of myself lowly or in any way to appear humble. But im also not a fucking asshole.
Im arrogant? So what?
Im confident. I plead guilty.
Cocky? Whatever floats your boat.
I tug at my sanity that hangs by a dwindled thread. My thoughts race back to a dreamy gaze and soft eyes. Adorable frowns and drunken giggles.
if it was as easy as bottling them up in a pitcher so I could drink her in every once in a while, I would’ve done it a while ago.
If I could, I would.
My mind was so caught up with her that I didn’t even notice how fast I’d changed the sheets.
I’d cracked the window open for a little ventilation and fetched an air freshener, which made the room smell decent. Better than decent.
A quick change of clothes and bedsheets later, Im carrying y/n from the couch to my room.
I lay her on the bed and nudge her awake.
“y/n?” a tap to the cheek.
Thankfully, she stirs awake. The drunken haze a little lesser than before, but nevertheless still there. Her eyes peer up at me, droopy with exhaustion.
I clear my throat awkwardly under her gaze, switching my weight from one foot to another.
“you need to change.”
Her eyebrows scrunch up in confusion as she tilts her head.
“your dress looks uncomfortable to sleep in.”
Excuses.
“left you one of my Tee’s so you could change.” I turn around and head for the door, giving her much needed privacy. “you have five minutes. Change.”
And with that, im out of the room closing the door behind me.
I lean back on the door and take my phone out of the sweats I put on earlier, purely for the decency of y/n being here.
I usually walk around in my boxers as well as sleep in them, but it’s too early to traumatize the girl.
Not even past unlocking my phone, y/n’s voice reaches my ear from behind me as she yells my name.
I knock, unsure if I should come in, but enter when I hear her confirmation.
Peaking my head into the small opening I’ve made through the door, my eyes land on y/n with her facing me.
Her eyebrows are pulled together in concentration as her hands are both reached behind her back, apparently struggling with something.
Her heels are off and her hair is messy from her running her hands through it, her mascara smudged and her lipstick almost completely wiped off.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a prettier sight.
Her lips pull forward in a slight pout, and she turns around to grace me with a view of her halfway bare back.
She tugs harder at the zipper, only getting it stuck farther.
“help?” she asks in a tiny voice, looking above her shoulder with a helpless look.
Noting how long I’ve been standing in place, frozen and doing nothing, I clear my throat as I shuffle my feet towards her.
“oh, um, yeah.” Staggering for words was never my thing. Rubbing my neck was never my nervous tick.
Except…y/n was never my thing, either.
Her beautifully messy hair cascades down her back, and I bundle it up with a hand and rest it over one of her shoulders. My fingertips lightly touch hers and the distraction that accompanies the shiver rolling through her body at the contact clouds my focus. Her hands fall to be replaced with mine at the zipper, and I tug gently.
It doesn’t budge.
Okay, it’s stuck.
Obviously, genius.
When my knuckles graze her skin as I try to get a better grip on the zipper, she shivers again, a soft sigh leaving her lips.
Pretty baby’s a sensitive drunk.
A giggly, bubbly, and hella oblivious drunk.
Focus.
I pinch the frayed open sides above the zipper with one hand and tug it with the other, a concentrated rumble of my chest unconsciously making an appearance.
I’ve apparently shifted closer to y/n in the process, and I just now realize that I might’ve groaned in her ear.
When I successfully slide the zipper down just above the curve of her ass, y/n turns around with a grace I don't miss even as my undying lust for the feel of her skin remains unwavering.
“thank you.” Sounds barely audible from how breathless she sounds, and fuck, when she bites her lip, I want to punch myself.
Those lips.
Those eyes.
My cock restrains, stiffening at the images attacking my mind with her lips around it.
A gust of wind blows through the curtains, thrashing y/n’s hair in all different directions.
I tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, knowing damn well I have no business touching this girl.
This girl that stands almost naked and drunk in the moonlit darkness of my room.
Her softness bothers me.
Her innocence a loud cry for corruption.
She reaches up to undo the strands of her dress, and the realization that she must’ve seen something in my eyes snaps me back into reality.
I was always told how much my eyes could tell.
And judging by my earlier thoughts, she must’ve seen it.
The darkness.
The lust.
She starts to slip her dress down, down, down, and my mind is nowhere to be found.
My cock hardens at the thought of her naked, submission written all over her.
But this is wrong.
So wrong.
Even as I step closer to her and bind my forehead with hers, my mind goes in all different directions.
Fuck her.
Shut up.
“Y/n.” a raspy attempt at a plead. “you’re drunk.”
She closes her eyes. “I want this.”
Fuck me sideways.
I know for a fact she doesn't.
I'm not stupid.
Even as my forehead stays pressed to hers, I don’t miss the tangy scent of tequila on her breath. Faint, but there.
I haven’t forgotten how red her eyes still are.
How dry her lips are from all the alcohol.
The pink tint of her neck and cheeks.
Alcohol is flowing more than freely in her system, and I know for a fact she also wont remember a thing.
“you don’t.”
So I do something stupid.
Something I know I'll regret by tomorrow.
I stop her hand that’s tugging her dress down and cage it between both of our bodies. I place my other on her neck, long fingers eating up the space beneath her jaw as my thumb rests on her cheek.
I stroke it once, twice, three times.
And I kiss her.
A small, feather-light peck on her swollen lips.
It's not needy, nor is it hungry for anything more.
It's something I crave to keep me sane, at least for the next few hours.
Because this girl?
This girl is a deadly thing that will destroy me.
She’ll destroy me before I ever get the chance to ruin her.
And the bad thing is?
Even as I pull away,
Even as I shove my tee shirt into her hands and bolt out of the room after telling her to sleep,
Realizing the fact that I didn’t regret it scares me.
Even as I grab a towel, strip bare, and lock myself in the bathroom,
I think about her.
The freezing water does little to calm the white hot lust in my veins, and my stiffened cock stands true to that statement.
I wrap my fist around my dick, and I dare to fucking think about her.
I think about her on her knees, mouth open.
I think about her on my bed, laying on her back with her legs open.
I think about her on top of me.
I close my eyes and I fucking think about those lips, those eyes, that dreamy gaze.
Her soft sighs.
How she’d kiss me.
Would she gasp into my mouth?
Cry into my pillow if I pounded her pussy from behind?
Would she beg?
She’d be my little slut.
My pretty baby.
I cum the hardest I ever have, a guttural grunt and an explicit “fuck.” into the walls of my bathroom. Alone in a goddamn shower, when im fisting my cock and thinking about someone.
No, not someone.
Fucking y/n of all people.
And guess the fuck what?
I want to kiss her again.
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how was your day today 😇
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@skzthinker @whoa-jo
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aestheticaltcow · 1 month
Text
Six Months
An attempt at some parenthood angst?
Similarly to the title, this fic has been in my WIP folder for a minute; it went through a handful of edits. I'd like to think this is good enough for y'all.
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 Carmy sat in the office staring at the paperwork Sugar needed his signature on; when he saw the date on his phone, it hit him—today marked six months. Six months of parenthood and six months of celibacy, to say Carmy was sexually frustrated, was an understatement. “Hey Carm, did you- are you okay?” Sugar asked when she caught him staring blankly at his phone. He didn’t respond until she put her hand on his shoulder. Her touch snapped him out of his trance. He looked at her before quickly apologizing, “Sorry, what were you sayin'?” Sugar grinned as she patted his shoulder, “You okay, Bear?”
Carmy nodded and straightened up in his desk chair, “Yea- just thinkin’ bout the baby.”
Carmy got home from work late. He quietly slipped his jacket off, and hung it on the coat rack before removing his shoes. Walking down the hallway, he slipped into the nursery, knowing the baby would be asleep. He found it impossible not to be happy in her room. The walls were decorated with vintage floral wallpaper you’d bought off Etsy, it may have been a pain in the ass to put up, but Carmy happily obliged when he saw how happy it had made you. He crept to his baby girl’s crib and felt the day's stress disappear. She was peacefully sleeping in a light pink sleep sack, furiously sucking away on her pacifier. “Sweet dreams, princess,” he whispered. “I love you.” 
The joy of watching his daughter sleep faded away as he approached the askew door to the master bedroom the two of you shared. “I’m home, baby.” Carmy grinned as he walked toward the open closet door, “Hi, Carm.” you called from the bathroom. When he entered the bathroom, you were brushing your teeth. As the mix of salvia and toothpaste residue dripped from your mouth Carmy’s breath hitched- was this enough to get him goin’? He shook his head as he pulled his shirt off and threw it in the laundry hamper before turning on the shower.
“How was work, babe?” you asked before bringing a small cup of mouthwash to your lips. Carmy watched as you swished it around your mouth and spit it into the sink. “Carmy?” you asked again; he swallowed. “Yeah, uh, it was good. Busy,” he answered as you hopped up on the counter. You were desperate for adult interaction after being home with the baby all day. 
“Mia, have a good day?” Carmy questioned. You nodded, “We did some laundry, then had mashed pears for lunch- she did. I had that leftover pasta sauce you made... Read a couple books and went on a walk... Then did her bedtime routine, and I worked on that stupid documentary I was telling you about.” 
As you recounted your day, Carmy nodded, but he was staring at your chest, barely hearing what you said. You’d been wearing one of his old T-shirts. He noticed how prominent your nipples were under the soft, worn-in material. He was captivated by the fullness of your breasts, and he’d do just about anything to touch them again. “Carm, you okay?” you asked, hopping down from the counter; he nodded. “Wanna get in with me?” he asked cocking his head in the direction of the running shower. You giggled, “Maybe next time, bear.”
“Oh fuck-” Carmy grunted as he worked his hand up and down his length. He felt like a teenager again, masturbating in the shower before going to school. However, now, instead of imagining the unrealistic scenarios he’d see in pornos, he had memories of you. Carmy thought back to the last time you’d really touched him. Heavily pregnant, hormonal, begging for his tongue and his cock… he’d expected a shift in your sex life as the two of you adjusted to parenthood, but this long of a dry spell was the last thing he’d expected. Carmy squeezed his eyes closed as he came down the drain.
~
“Good morning, princess.” Carmy cooed as Mia squirmed in her crib, trying to get out of her sleep sack. She spat her pacifier out and let out a gruggle. “So it’s one of those mornings?” he chuckled as he unzipped her. He watched her stretch before carefully picking her up, “See, you’re okay.” he rocked her gently before exiting the nursery and heading downstairs. 
You were making coffee and prepping a bottle for Mia as he entered the kitchen. “You’re off today, right?” Carmy nodded in response before handing you Mia. “You goin’ to work?” he questioned, as he got two mugs from the cabinet. You groaned in response, “Jenny called off, so I have to go in. I’ll be back before bedtime.”
“Well, looks like Mia and I are havin' some Daddy-Daughter time,” you smiled as Carmy gently kissed her head before going to get the milk from the fridge. When you’d met Carmy all those years ago at some trendy Chicago bar, you found him incredibly alluring. His disheveled curls, the mix of some musky cologne and cigarette smoke, the way his T-shirt wrapped around his muscular arms… he’d always been… sexy. But watching him interact with Mia was a different kind of attractive.
Carmy drummed his thumbs on the handlebar of the grocery cart. He scanned the shelf before him as Mia happily made her baby noises as she looked around the aisle. “Okay, princess… they don’t have almond extract. What kind of grocery store doesn’t have fuckin’ almond extract.” Mia put her hands out to Carmy, grabbing at the air. Carmy chuckled and ducked to kiss her cheek.
“Oh my gosh, she’s too precious.” a sickly, sweet feminine voice cooed from behind Carmy. He grinned when he turned his attention to her, “How old is she?” she asked. Carmy got a good look at the woman; she was pretty, but she wasn’t you. “Oh, uh, she’s six months,” he answered as the woman stepped closer. She smelled like cheap vanilla and a mix of flowery scents Carmy couldn’t place. Mia glared at the woman, and Carmy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m Selena. I’m in this parenting group. You should stop by.” she smiled as she looked him up and down. The attention made Carmy regret not regularly wearing his wedding ring. “I’m not really the par-” Carmy started to say before Selena cut him off. “I’m not takin’ no as an answer. What’s your number?” she handed him her phone. 
Carmy didn’t know why he gave her his number- could he blame it on feeling uncomfortable? Was that even the right thing to do? It’s not like he’d ever do anything with this woman. He’d never throw away his marriage to you by hooking up with some woman he met at the grocery store. The reality of Carmy's actions didn’t hit him until he was in the checkout line. He gave his phone number to another woman- was that cheating on you? Did doing that in front of his daughter make him a bad father? “Okay, your total is $63.82.” the cashier smiled. Carmy nodded and swiped his card. He needed to get out of there as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t run into Selena again.
~
It had been a couple of weeks since Carmy’s interaction at the grocery store. He’d noticed Selena’s text messages here and there. They seemed innocent until one Friday night, he was working late, you were home with the baby, and Selena had sent Carmy an explicit picture, hoping it would get his attention.
We’re both parents. 
I’m not looking for anything serious, Carmy…
My son is at his Dad’s place
Come over <3
Carmy stared at the messages before his eyes went up to the attached photo. Selena had the hem of her T-shirt between her teeth, showing off her toned stomach. He swallowed as he admired the contrast between her skin and the brightly colored fabric of her lacy underwear. He should block her. He should just delete the messages and block her number. He had a wife and baby at home—he couldn’t make this kind of mistake. He locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket before returning to the kitchen cleanup, “Hey Carm, I can finish this up. Go home.” Sweeps grinned as he attempted to connect his phone to the Bluetooth speaker on the counter. Carmy grinned, “You sure, man?” Sweeps nodded assuringly. “I think I can handle this boss man.” 
You heard Carmy walk into the bedroom that night, “Hey babe!” you called as you put your blowdryer in its designated spot by the sink. As the bathroom door swung open, Carmy’s lips were on yours. The initial shock wore off as Carmy’s tongue invaded your mouth, and his hands pushed under the hem of your sleep shorts to grasp at your ass cheeks. Carmy pulled you closer to him, forcing you onto your tip toes. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers delicately tangling in the roots of his hair. The passionate kiss ended when Carmy started to kiss down your jaw. A giggle escaped your mouth as his lips brushed against your earlobe before he nipped at your neck. “Carm-m what got into you?” you croaked as you adjusted your hips against his.
 “I need you, baby,” he muttered, lifting you off the floor. You squealed as he crashed down onto your mattress. He hovered above your body, staring into your eyes. “I need to be inside you, baby.” he swallowed hard as you bit your lip. “Carmyyy,” you giggled as you watched him pull his t-shirt off. You ran a finger down his chest, making him moan softly.
 “Let me make you feel good, baby…” Carmy whispered in your ear as one of his hands found its way into your oversized sleep shirt. Your breath hitched when you felt his calloused fingertips graze your ribs. " I-I—" you studdered nervously. “Baby…please.” Carmy quietly asked as his lips brushed against yours. “No.” you whispered as you grabbed his wrist through your shirt, “What?” Carmy questioned as he stood up abruptly, “Did I do something? We haven’t done anything in like six months- clearly I did something wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it!” Carmy raised his voice as his eyebrows knit together in frustration. 
You propped yourself on your elbows and watched as he picked up his shirt from the floor, “Carmen, please don’t yell at me.” you said calmly. You watched as he rolled his eyes and paced before you, “Baby. I want to have sex with you. I need to have sex with you-” Carmy groaned as he pushed his hands over his face into his hair. Your eyes narrowed, “Carmen. I had a baby-”
 “I KNOW! I fucking know! You had my baby, but now you don’t even want to fuckin’ shower with me! I get it- pregnancy was hard, and then giving birth was hard, and now being a mom is hard.” Carmy started staring at the ceiling while he expressed himself. He took a breath and turned to look at you; regret washed over him when he noticed you were on the verge of tears. “Baby, please don’t cry…” he pleaded as he knelt by the bed. He reached for your hand, but you pulled away before he could grab it, “Sorry, I don’t want to fuck you after taking care of your baby all day.” you spat. Carmy closed his eyes and took another breath trying to compose himself before saying something dumb, “How dare I fail to meet my wifely duties.” you angrily laughed as you stood up. 
You crossed your arms over your chest and stared as Carmy got up. “Baby, I didn’t—" you cut Carmy off with a groan. “Shut up, Carmen. You don’t get to speak to me like that.”
Carmy sighed and stepped closer to you, as he reached out for your hips only for you to slap his hands away. “Don’t touch me.” you glared at him, “Fuck this.” Carmy muttered under his breath as he pulled his shirt back on over his head. “What do you mean ‘fuck this’?” you questioned as Carmy exited the bedroom, “I need air.” Carmy called back to you.
You moved to your bedroom window to see Carmy walking toward his car in the driveway. He got in and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. 
Send me your address.
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purple-babygirl · 3 months
Text
my bucky?
Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x f!reader (reader is little in the very beginning)
Word count: 7,390
Summary: Bucky's angel finally sees the hidden side of him.
Warnings: details of violence, kidnapping, getting shot, physical abuse by kidnappers, slapping, too much crying, angst
A/N: to all the nonnies that came to me once and asked "what if angel saw bucky beating someone up?" "what if angel gets kidnapped?", this is for you💜 i hope you have a good time with this one, loves x💜
~
Whenever he’d think of her, he’d think of jasmines. Soft, fragrant, pure-looking, fragile, beautiful jasmines. Like jasmines, she released her sweet perfume engulfed by the darkness of his night. Only he got to bask in her aroma. And like a jasmine in autumn, he’d fallen for her evergreen soul and he’d fallen hard.
Bucky knew she saw him through a pink lens. She ate up his lies like candy and although he felt bad, he knew it was for the best. He could visibly see her running out the door whenever he’d imagine someone opening her eyes to how cruel he actually was. It was selfish, but it was easier for him and safer for her this way. Better for both of them.
Luck wasn’t exactly his best friend though.
Bucky would never forget the look in her innocent, teary eyes as she watched him literally beat the life out of a man with all his might. He knew it was fairly stupid of him to do it in the back of his own garage, right next to his house where she was peacefully getting ready to call it a night. But he just couldn’t hold back when he saw the guy’s dumb face when his men brought him in.
“Miss?” She found Roseanne by the door, looking more nervous than usual.
She was shocked, no, terrified at the scene she couldn’t take her eyes away from. How and why was she even here in the first place?
~
Daddy said he’d be back for story time but he hasn’t been back yet. What was taking him so long?
She couldn’t fall asleep if his voice wasn’t lolling her to sleep. She couldn’t fall asleep if it wasn’t in his arms. Life without him just didn’t make sense anymore.
She got out of bed, slipped in her fluffy cat slippers and went on a little quest to find him. Bucky was always happy to see her so he’d forgive her for getting out of bed where he’d expected her to wait.
“Roseanne, have you seen my Bucky?” she asked with a smile.
“I think he’s busy right now, miss. You better wait in your room where it’s warm,” Roseanne tried to tempt her, using the cold as a good reason why she shouldn’t go outside where Bucky was.
The young woman looked distressed, like she was scared of something.
“What’s wrong, Roseanne? Is daddy okay?” she questioned the poor maid, her smile leaving her face.
“Yes, miss. Don’t worry. He’s just a little busy but he’ll be here soon.”
“Is he in the office?”
“I— I don’t know, miss. I think he is,” Roseanne lied.
She tilted her head suspiciously before running to the office to check it out, leaving Roseanne’s pleads for her to get back to the bedroom behind.
It seemed even more suspicious now that Bucky was nowhere to be seen in his office. It didn’t feel right and she had to find Bucky and make sure he was okay. Bucky always knew how to calm all her worries. He knew what to do and what to say.
Bucky protects her and is here for her.
But wait a minute, she didn’t hear his car leave. And if the car didn’t leave then Daddy was certainly in the house, she just missed him while looking.
She roamed the whole mansion, up and down, checking every room twice and she still couldn’t find her daddy.
Her mind was getting cloudier and she was getting more scared. Did daddy leave? Where would he go without letting her know that he’d be leaving? Why didn’t he kiss her forehead goodnight before leaving?
She made her way outside the main door and took sure steps to the large garage, once again taking no regard of Roseanne’s begging, confident in her smart train of thought.
When she arrived at the garage though, the pants she heard startled her to a halt as she ducked behind the black Range Rover.
Was that really Bucky? Her Bucky? Beating up a man to the point where his features weren’t recognizable anymore? That wasn’t possible. Her daddy was a sweetheart. He was the gentlest man she’s ever met and he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. She knew he was feared because of his work, but he couldn’t kill anyone. Could he?
She peeked around and fell silent as a rock. The sight before her made her feel cold, leaving her poor mind perplexed.
On the first look, she couldn’t fathom what she was looking at. She wanted to look away. She did. But she couldn’t will her head to turn even just a little.
“How stupid do you have to be to think I wouldn’t know you were sent here to hurt my girl?”
A stronger pang hit her little heart when she realized this was happening because of her.
No, this was no bad dream though she’d hoped with all her heart that it was.
She’d made Daddy promise that he wouldn’t hurt anybody on her behalf. He’d promised to choose forgiveness if it was an option. It didn’t make any sense.
Was she too sleepy that she was seeing things? Did her little mind fall asleep without a story anyway and she was having a nightmare?
Sam had seen her first, wide eyes tearing up at the sight of her man smashing another’s face with his fist. He’d tried to tell Bucky, but it was too late. She’d already seen it all.
Those fingers that have ever so tenderly glided across her cheeks time and time again were hidden behind brass knuckles, covered in someone’s blood. That jaw that has only ever tensed from smiling too much around her was clenched, making him look scarier than she could’ve ever imagined him to be. His eyebrows were furrowed and his breaths heavy as he repeatedly and ruthlessly punched the man on the chair.
Her fear intensified when she’d recognized the beaten up man as their newest driver. She remembered him trying to repeatedly ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with him when Bucky wasn’t home. She also remembered saying no like she was taught. She remembered Bucky promising to choose forgiveness if it was an option again and she saw him break his promise.
“Bucky, enough!” Sam pulled him away from the tied up guy, head nodding to the black vehicle.
Her head went dizzy when she thought of all the men she’d complained to Bucky about since they’d started their relationship. Have they all faced the same fate?
Who was this heaving, bloody-fisted beast before her? Did she ever know Bucky at all? Was he ever truthful about anything he’d told her or was it all just a big lie? How could she trust him with herself ever again? Who was her daddy really?
The walls around Bucky collapsed and he almost collapsed with them when he saw her face. She was there and she’d seen everything. His angel saw it all. His angel was scared. She was scared of him.
“Angeră?”
Her legs no longer wanted to hold her up once she heard his hoarse voice. The air was out of her lungs as she took slow steps back until she pressed herself to one of the grey walls behind her. The stuffie in her hands fell to the ground and with it her heart.
She wanted to run, but her cold body wouldn’t budge. Maybe if she could go back to the house right now, listen to Roseanne, stay in bed, and pretend this never happened, Bucky would miraculously come back with a perfectly healed, clean hand and they would peacefully have a cuddling session while his loving voice told her a story.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged, her voice above a whisper as she cowered away from him.
Bucky carefully walked closer, visibly watching her hands tremble. He raised his clean hand to caress her cheek like he always would when she needed him to calm her down.
He wasn’t expecting her to lean into his touch like she was used to, but it still shot daggers to his heart when she flinched, closing her eyes in fear and letting out the tiniest whimper.
“Angel, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Bucky’s broken voice had her heart clenching as she saw him trying to muster up a smile.
“Stay away from me,” she said in panic when he tried to take another step towards her.
“Angeră—”
“Please, Bucky, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t call him daddy or even her Bucky. She couldn’t.
“Baby, let me—”
She shook her head, running away from a shattered Bucky, almost tripping on her own feet.
“Go, we’ll take care of him,” Sam told him, patting his shoulder.
He watched her run as if she was escaping a wild lion, terrified and fearing for her life.
Bucky slammed his fist into the concrete wall where his love once leaned before slipping the brass knuckles off his probably broken fingers and hearing them clank on the ground. He rested both palms on the wall and let his head fall down as he breathed hard.
“Dragă, nu! Te rog, (love, no please)” Bucky begged, his hands grabbing her forearms to stop her from throwing more of her things into the suitcase.
Bucky ran like a mad man on the way to their house. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to justify what she’d just witnessed him do.
She called him Bucky with glossed over eyes. She was bordering on little and he just gave her the trauma of her life. He had no answers to any possible question she might rightfully throw at him. Bucky only knew that he couldn’t lose her; she was the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
He busted through the front door and ran up the stairs only to be met with her frantically packing her things, fat tears soaking her face as she hiccupped out sobs.
“Please let me leave.” Her voice trembled and more tears left her eyes. His right hand had dried blood all over it and it made her skin crawl.
“Please don’t,” Bucky pleaded again, on the verge of crying himself.
“I’m really scared. Please don’t make me stay here,” she begged Bucky, trying to slip out of his grip.
“Angel, please believe me. I will never hurt you,” Bucky swore, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Angel, of course I love you! Please just stay and listen to me, baby.” Tears rolled down Bucky’s cheeks as he took a dress out of her hands before she could pack it.
“Did you ever really love me? Would you really never hurt me? Was anything you ever told me the truth?” Her voice was way too innocent as the questions left her trembling lips.
She didn’t even sound like she was blaming Bucky, she just sounded confused. Disappointed. Hurt.
“I wanna leave. Please let me leave,” she repeated, crying harder as she tried not to let herself crumble down on the floor of their bedroom.
“Angel, please don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, holding onto her writs for dear life, “I can’t live without you, love. I can’t.”
She looked up at him and the look she gave him let him know she wasn’t little anymore.
Bucky despised himself for making her feel and think that way, “angel—”
“Why did you ever take me? Why did you bring me here?” She asked, the reproach hurting her too, “I didn’t know what love was before you. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart, Bucky.”
She was saying everything that came to her mind, unable to keep her thoughts inside or else it felt like they might suffocate her. She was mad at herself for letting herself trust and love when she shouldn’t have.
“Are you used to doing this to people? Do you kill people, Bucky?” Her voice broke as she asked, already fearing the answer.
“Angel, please.”
“No, answer me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in sadness, anxious of the reply she was about to receive.
Bucky closed his eyes, not wanting to see her face when he told her his truth, “yes.”
“Yes.” Bucky nodded, hot tears leaving his closed eyes.
Her breath hitched at his answer, making more tears leave his eyes.
“D-Did you do this to the other guys I complained about before, too?”
“Did you kill them?” Her tone fell with her heart.
Bucky only swallowed, going dead silent at her question.
“Oh my god.” She cried, her knees almost giving out as she tried to get her arms free from his grip.
“No, no, angel, I only drove them out of town. They’re alive.” He assured her, leaving out the details about the probable permanent disabilities some of them left town with.
“Why?” She sobbed, her shoulders hurting from squirming in his grasp with no avail.
“They were bothering you.”
“So this makes it okay to kidnap them and beat them up?!” She screamed, her tears never drying up.
“I wanted to protect you,” Bucky whispered, his heart dropping at the realization of how his angel must see him now.
“Protect me from you then and let me go.” Her words shot daggers right into the mafia boss’ chest.
“I can’t believe I loved you so much.” She whispered, mostly to herself, lamenting her foolish, trusting heart.
“Angel, I can’t. You know I can’t.” He knew she was right, but he couldn’t let her leave.
She was his whole world; his life and everything good in it.
“Loved?” Bucky could hear his heart shattering.
“Loved,” she replied despite herself, knowing too well that she was lying.
Bucky finally let her arms go after her confirmation. He knew that if he tried to hold her back now she would only end up hating him. He would rather have her leave him than hate him. He wouldn’t be able to take it.
“I’ll tell the driver to get the car ready so he could take you to your grandma’s,” Bucky told her without looking up, wiping away his tears. For now.
She didn’t reply, and only continued shoving clothes into the bag.
“I just want you to know that I’ll always be here whenever you need me. I will always be yours, angel. Even if you’re no longer mine. I love you and I will love you until the day I die.”
But all of this was nothing compared to the fear that shot up her spine when she heard gunshots making contact with the car she was inside, forcing the driver to stop abruptly.
Bucky’s last words had her sobbing even harder as she fell to her knees the moment he left her alone in the room.
She didn’t want to leave him and she never saw a day like this one coming, but she knew it was only right that she did. They were different from the beginning and she was wrong to let herself live in a daydream for too long. She had no place in Bucky’s world.
~
The drive back to her grandma’s house was torture. The pain of being fooled could only be overruled by the pain of fearing the only man she’s ever loved. She couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was leaving a piece of her behind in the mansion that the car just drove away from. She knew that piece was her heart and she knew that she was most likely never going to get it back. It will forever remain with Bucky.
Her tears kept coming as she silently wept in the backseat.
Pathetic fallacy was at its highest and the skies were sobbing with her. It was cold and the roads were muddy, thunder hitting every now and then, making trees shudder where they were rooted.
She cried more knowing Bucky would no longer be there to hold her through thunderstorms.
The man and the guard next to him got out their own guns but it was too late for them to do anything as another couple of bullets were shot, going right through their heads. The driver fell lifeless, face first on the driving wheel and she felt her heart stop with his.
“Let me go for your own good,” she said, trying to keep her tone confident and her pain veiled.
Before she could even think of a route to run in, a bag was put over her head, her screams futile as she got violently dragged to another vehicle before it all went completely dark with a hit to the back of her head.
~
“I thought we were past that shit, babygirl. Three days didn’t teach you who’s in charge yet?” Lloyd Hansen, Bucky’s biggest enemy, asked her with a provocative smile.
She was in absolute agony.
She let oud a loud, pained scream, desperately trying to pull her arm from underneath his huge shoe.
They’d untied her an hour ago after she claimed she needed the bathroom, a guard on her tail as he led her through the abandoned building.
Once inside the toilet, she managed to pick up the upper part of the toilet seat. She gained the guard’s attention with a scream, going down on his head with the heavy ceramic piece as soon as he opened the door to check on her.
She managed to run as far as the hallway of the floor she was in before a very angry Lloyd grabbed her. She surprised him with a harsh slap across the face, taking the chance to run again when he froze for a second.
Lloyd got even angrier, stretching his leg and knocking one of her feet off the ground, making her fall over. He walked over her crawling body and evilly stepped on her right wrist.
“I can’t wait to kill you,” Lloyd said, not taking his foot off before he heard a snap and a loud screech from her.
Lloyd got hold of her hair, dragging her all the way back to the room where she was previously tied up.
He tied her to the same chair again, only this time one arm got the ropes while the other was left to redden and swell.
Now she was here, on the same chair, throwing empty threats as she’s almost given up hope that Bucky might find her.
“Aww, did you hear that, boys? Little slut right here is worried for our good,” Lloyd mocked her, laughter erupting and filling the room in response.
“You’re not getting out of here, babygirl,” he spat, his voice laced with venom, “this is where you die.”
“Let me go. I won’t say it again.” Her voice almost shivered with her heart at the end of her warning.
She was scared, and in so much pain, but she couldn’t let it show. She wouldn't even cry and was sweating like crazy from the ache in her dangling wrist. She was Bucky Barnes’ girl.
“You’re making the demands now? Not even a “please” to persuade me?” Lloyd moved his face closer to hers, slowly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear with a smirk, “or do I have to heat you a bottle to get to meet your polite side?”
She felt her face go hot as her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t stop herself from spitting in the bastard’s face, “fuck you”.
Next thing she knew was his rough hand slapping down hard on her cheek, making her go dizzy. Blood trickled out of her nose and down to her lips right after and she couldn’t hold back her tears this time.
She was tired. Terrified. She needed Bucky.
“Your filthy mouth isn’t anything short of your boyfriend’s, but don’t worry, if you don’t know how to be respectful to your masters I have ways to teach you, and believe me, I can’t wait to start your lessons.” Hansen smirked at her wrist before spitting back at her and leaving with everyone else.
She cried harder than she has ever before, tears and blood mixing. Her body was shivering and her arms aching from being tied up in the most uncomfortable position and smashed down under Lloyd’s boot.
There was no way out for here, was there?
She knew she was done for and she didn’t have any last wishes except for getting to tell Bucky that she loved him and that she will never stop loving him one last time.
She couldn’t even pay her pain or blood any attention when all she could think about was Bucky and how he would have never let anything like that happen to her.
She remembered his soft smile that only she got to meet. The way he’d lean forward to engulf her in a hug momentarily warmed her before the iciness of the empty room made her shiver again.
She didn’t dare linger on Bucky, however.
It’s been exactly 3 days and 21 hours since his angel left him and he still couldn’t believe it.
She left him. She left and now she was here in some old factory under some asshole’s mercy. She couldn’t escape the situation she was in no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t give her mind any kind of relief. There was none. Before she realized, her head was falling forward and she was getting a temporary break from reality.
~
“Bucky, are you o—” Sam cut himself off when his sight landed on his best friend’s face.
Bucky’s eyes were red with yet to be shed tears, again.
His car never reached her grandma’s because his men were murdered on the way. His angel was no where to be found and neither was Bucky’s will to live.
He kept telling himself that it wasn’t true, that she was at work; that she would eventually come back and sleep in his arms again.
However, she didn’t even call. Didn’t even look at his multiple texts. She really was missing and Bucky couldn’t face it. Between denial and heart wrenching pain, he buried himself 9 feet under.
He’s looked everywhere, asked everyone, but still couldn’t find her. It was as if she’s disappeared, turned to air.
Bucky has deserted their bedroom ever since she walked out of the mansion, the bed still as messy as she left it after she dragged the sheets down with her packed bag. Every time Bucky would enter the room he would see her leaving him, so he’d stopped. That couldn’t be his last memory of her. He slept on the couch in his office now, if at all.
And soon enough, the Bucky he used to be when she was around was dead and another angrier, more violent and very impatient Bucky had replaced him. He was always mad, at everyone and everything. And he was drinking every night, sitting on his bar for as long as he could, just to get himself hammered enough to fall in a deep unconsciousness where he didn’t have her scared eyes invading his dreams.
Sam was seriously worried for him, but there was nothing he could do; no advice he could offer. Nothing would bring that Bucky back as long as his angel was gone.
Bucky’s wallowing and Sam’s overthinking were interrupted when Bucky’s phone rang, vibrating on the ceramic floor. Bucky quickly crawled over to it, hardly believing his eyes when he saw her name in the place of the caller ID.
“Angeră?” he answered, his voice hoarse from staying silent for too long.
“Awww, you call her angel?” the voice on the other side mocked.
“Who the fuck is this?” Bucky asked, standing up slowly as his anger and worry forced him to sober up.
“You know too damn well who this is,” Lloyd answered, his smile evident in his tone as he knew he had Bucky by the throat.
“Where is she?” Bucky asked immediately.
“Tied up somewhere cold.”
“I swear on my life, if you touch her—”
“Relax, she can take a few scratches,” he replied, chuckling as if it was a joke.
“You son of a bitch!” Bucky shouted, losing his mind at the mere image of his angel being hurt.
“I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Barnes,” he snarled confidently.
“What do you want?” Bucky asked through his teeth, just wanting to get to his girl as quickly as possible.
“Let me hear her voice.”
“No,” Lloyd chuckled.
“I wanna destroy you.” Hansen laughed.
“Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Bucky tried his best not to sound desperate but it was obvious that he was begging for his girl’s safety.
“That’s where you’re wrong, B. She has everything to do with this.” Lloyd walked into the room where she was with a smug smile.
“Let her go.” please
“If you sound so distraught just because I’d hogged her for a couple of days, imagine how you’ll be when I erase her off the face of the earth,” Hansen said, laughing at the thought of hurting Bucky this bad.
Her face toughened up at the realization that it was Bucky on the phone.
“If you do as much as touch a hair on her head, I’m gonna kill you and everyone you know,” Bucky promised, his heart hammering in his chest as he hastily started moving.
“I might’ve broken a bone or two, but that’s only because she was a bad girl.”
“You’re dead, Hansen. Fucking dead!” Bucky promised, throwing the bottle he was drinking from across the room.
“We’ll be waiting with popcorn.” He hung up on Bucky, laughing.
“He’s gonna kill you.” She smiled once he hung up, making Lloyd grab her hair.
She hissed, trying not to show she was in pain.
“Not if I kill him first, angeră.” Lloyd spat, throwing her head forward before leaving the room.
She was horrified at the thought of anything bad happening to Bucky, but she willed her heart to trust in him. She had no time to ponder but she was actually proud of the fact that Bucky could so easily end this awful, evil man and she couldn’t wait for him to do just that.
Still, she waited for him. Something inside of her told her Bucky would never abandon her, not even to death. So she waited. Waited with the longing of all the lovers that ever were until longing had exhausted her.
~
It was like a slow motion dream. Doors being kicked down, guns being fired and her Bucky entering the room with a man’s body held in his left fist by the neck.
Instead, Bucky found Hansen and smacked him so hard with his metal hand that a tooth flew out. He slapped him again and his nose was bleeding. They made eye contact one more time and she noticed the difference for the first time. That wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t her Bucky. His eyes still softened for her but the hint of revenge in them was more dominant.
He doesn’t even talk; doesn’t negotiate. He doesn’t even ask for her to be released. He doesn’t need to.
His men were getting everything done. His only mission was to look for her now. His eyes met hers but he didn’t start walking towards her like she’d expected he would.
She thought she would be afraid meeting Bucky again after what she’d witnessed him do, but she actually didn’t. Not even a tiny bit.
She was rather happy, the feeling that she was safe again warming up her body so much that she’d started sobbing.
It was like no matter how long they were away from each other, they were still together, never estranged from one another.
Bucky was on his 40th slap/punch on the man’s bloody face when he noticed her crying. He temporarily threw the man’s tired body on the ground and rushed to his girl.
He kneeled before her shaking body, wanting nothing but to make sure she wasn’t hurt.
And she was.
She looked up and could still see the coldness in his eyes despite hers being blurred by tears.
“I missed you. Is my Bucky okay?” She asked, her voice drained but not scared like Bucky had feared and expected.
“Let’s get you home, angeră,” he replied, saving his answer for now as he noticed the finger marks on her cheek.
She nodded desperately, her tied hand reaching for him despite being behind her back.
“Stop right there,” Lloyd said, crocking his gun at Bucky.
“Bucky,” she whimpered, eyes glued to her man, her anchor.
“E în regulă, angera meu, (it’s okay, my angel)" Bucky replied, getting closer to her and sticking to her side.
“No, it’s not. He’s lying to you. Just like he’s lied to you about everything else,” the man chuckled.
“Shut up,” she whispered, trying to calm down her breathing.
“Give it up, Hansen. I beat you. Again and for the last time. You’re done.” Bucky racked the slide of his gun.
“He never loved you. Do you even know who he is most of the time?” Lloyd continued, not willing to give up until Bucky was reduced to nothing before him.
“Shut up,” she repeated, wishing her hands were free so that she could cover her ears with them.
“Do you have any idea about the other side of this man you gave yourself to you poor little thin—”
“Shut up!” She shouted with all her might, “don’t speak about him like that.”
“Do you even know what you’re defending?” Hansen yelled at her with a crazy, bloody smile on his face.
“I know,” she answered calmly, “I know everything.”
Bucky looked at her in surprise, not believing what he just heard. There was no way she knew. How would she know? How would she choose to stay if she actually knew?
“Oh so you know about frosty over here?” Hansen smirked, pointing to his head.
“That’s enough, Hansen,” Bucky warned, barely controlling himself.
“I do,” she answered once more, her answer shocking Bucky yet again.
“Angel?”
“It’s okay, Bucky. I promise.” She sincerely promised, making it hard for Bucky not to tear up in the middle of the room.
“Aww, how sweet—” Hansen cooed and in a second 3 of Bucky’s bullets were in his head, neck and chest before he could say anything else.
She gasped, closing her eyes and turning her face away from the body as it collapsed on the floor with a thud.
She didn’t notice that Hansen had landed a shot at Bucky before he collapsed and Bucky didn’t even flinch as a bullet literally made it through his right shoulder. He didn’t feel the pain. He didn’t care about anything but his angel.
She was the only thing he could see and hear. Her wounds were his pain more than his own.
Bucky wordlessly kneeled down and untied her quickly. His gaze was glued to her wrists for a second before he rubbed the one that wasn’t swollen with his smoother thumb.
“What happened?” Bucky asked, referring to her other wrist.
“I'm gonna need a doctor to look at it.” Was all she gave him for an answer.
He silently opened his arms for her and she threw herself in them without an ounce of hesitation, crying more now that she was home.
She was so scared she wouldn’t get to feel like this again. She let herself let go. She then closed her eyes and finally succumbed to the cozy darkness now that she was safe.
Instead, Roseanne looked at her with a teary smile, “welcome back, miss.”
She lost all sense of consciousness that she didn’t hear Bucky shoot the man’s dead body a fourth and a fifth time with her in his arms as he took another look at her wrists.
~
When she opened her eyes again, she was back in Bucky’s bed, but Bucky wasn’t by her side.
“Roseanne, I missed you so much,” she replied, unable to stop her own tears.
“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Roseanne said, breaking the hug to let her rest her back.
She invited Roseanne for a hug with her good arm as she noticed the other was in what looked like a cast.
Lloyd had broken her wrist.
“Mr. Barnes is in his office,” she told her while adjusting the pillow behind her when she noticed her eyes roaming the spacious room.
“Is he mad?” she asked, more tears gathering in her tired eyes.
“At himself, maybe.” Roseanne shrugged politely.
“Please help me go to him, Roseanne.”
“One more thing though.” Roseanne chew on her lip.
“What’s wrong?”
He didn’t know what he would’ve done with himself if something had happened to her and he kept blaming himself as he sat there with his right arm in a sling.
“Mr. Barnes has been shot.”
~
Bucky didn’t care to look when the door to his office opened, not knowing that she was awake and too busy wiping his tears of regret.
He’s been like this since he got her home and in his bed again. His tears were unstoppable now that he saw the results of his lifestyle on the one girl he chose and held closest to his heart. In fact, he cried more every time he took a look at her angelic figure tiredly sleeping in his large bed as the doctor patched up her broken wrist.
She was so small, so pure and so so good for this world. Her face was fainter and the spark was gone and he was sure Lloyd didn’t feed her. The fading finger marks she had on her cheek, the rope burns around her wrists and ankles and the cast around her forearm slashed new wounds at his heart.
“Bucky,” she called out faintly, her head and body still aching a little, heart dropping when she saw him with his arm hanging, “are you okay?”
He stood up and helped her sit in his chair, not sure if it was okay for him to carry her and sit her on his desk like he usually would.
He hastily wiped his eyes with his hand to look at his baby.
“Hi, angel,” he tried to say with a smile but his voice cracked as another tear escaped down his red cheek.
She surprised him by using his chair as a step to get on top of his desk, pointing to the chair for him to sit back down.
Bucky was on eye level with the marks on her ankles as she settled her bare feet on his lap.
What was he going to say now that she was awake? And most importantly, what was she going to say?
“My Bucky,” she could recognize the difference between this man and the man who started her rescue right away.
Bucky was stunned to see she could see it despite everything. He didn’t want her to ever find out about that side of him and it killed him even more that she caught the difference. How on earth did she find something like this out?
“All yours, angel.” He tried to compose himself, for her.
She couldn’t bare seeing him like this. It was like she’s forgotten about everything that happened before this very moment and all she could do was sit up and hold his face to lovingly wipe his sorrows away with her left hand.
It was enough time away from Bucky.
“I’m okay, Bucky. I’m okay,” she tried to reassure him, only making him cry harder as the dam broke when she rubbed his shoulder.
“Iarta-ma, iubita mea. Te rog. Iarta-ma. (forgive me, my love. Please, forgive me)" He sobbed, moving his lips to the palms of her hands to leave wet kisses all over the reddened skin.
“I’m okay, I swear,” she repeated, not knowing what to do or say.
“I forgive you. Please don’t cry; we’re good,” she said it to him in the kindest tone like it was the easiest thing to say.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance to. Please, love,” Bucky cried like a child in her lap.
No, he couldn’t even remember a time when he cried like this as a child despite all that he’d gone through. He didn’t care though. He was going to do whatever it took for his angel’s forgiveness. He disappointed her, broke her heart and risked her life. Bucky was going to beg until the end of time if he could.
Bucky shook his head, crying harder, “no, you’re good. You’re too good to me, angel. Too good. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. Never did.”
It sent a knife to his heart that she still sincerely called him her Bucky after everything she’s been through just because he was in her life; because he was selfish enough to bring her into his without a care.
He was still beating himself up over it. And how could he not when everything terrible that’s ever happened to her had happened because of him? He traumatized her more than anyone ever could have and he’s gotten her hurt time and time again.
This girl who’s made him feel like he could stand against the whole world all by himself with no fear just because she called him her lover. This girl who taught him loyalty, kindness and love and was now teaching him forgiveness. This girl was sitting before him with a broken wrist and heart telling him not to worry about it.
“Don’t say that, please. I’m alive right now thanks to you, my Bucky.” Her own tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them.
She loved him more than anything and wished she could make him see that. Oh how she was dying to make him see how safe and loved he made her feel.
“You mean you were taken and hurt thanks to me.” Bucky casted his eyes down, too ashamed to even look at her marked face.
“Bucky—”
“I get it if you still wanna leave me. And I will let you. I would never make you do anything you don't want. I just want you to know that I never lied to you about my love for you. You’ve been and still are the realist thing in my life, angel. Everything I said and did was true. I adore you.”
“Bucky, I—”
“I know it’s selfish to choose to speak about this now, but I’m afraid you’d leave before I get to tell you how in love with you I really am,” he sniffled, wiping his eyes again in vain before looking up at her, “I would die without you. Your love owns me, heart and soul. But.. if leaving me is what you choose.. and if leaving me will make you safe, I will accept it. I just need you to know that I’ve never lied to you. Angel, you are my whole life. You’re my one and only. I belong to you. I’m yours and I will die yours.”
She was speechless, too taken aback to stop herself from crying harder. Bucky’s never opened up to her about his feelings before. Not like this.
“Bucky, I love you,” she managed to whisper before he cut her off again. Before she could tell him that she felt the same way, that she was all his and will forever be his, that only him ruled over her heart.
“You don’t have to say that, angel—”
“Let me speak,” she demanded, her palm cupping his wet cheek as she grabbed him a tissue from his desk.
He nodded, biting his lip and bracing himself for the harshest ‘but’, preparing to get his heart ripped out of his chest.
“I don’t wanna leave you,” was the first thing she could get herself to say, desperately wanting to soothe his thumping heart.
Bucky’s eyes filled with more tears because he knew he didn’t deserve her.
“I forgive you. I want to tolerate this dangerous life because it lets me have you; be with you, which is the only place I ever wanna be.” She took a deep breath, her own tears continuing to fall as she wiped his.
“Baby,” Bucky whispers, hating to see her tears yet again.
“I knew you weren’t the nicest guy to others and I knew your line of business wasn’t the safest either. I just— it freaked me out when I actually got to see you inside of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
Bucky lowered his head in shame again.
“In my head, especially when little, you’re incapable of hurting. In my eyes, you’re safety, Bucky. You’re home.” She brought his eyes back to hers with a hand on his cheek.
“I’m sorry, love,” Bucky was quick to apologize but she shook her head in reply.
“It might take me some time to get used to everything now that I know everything. But it didn’t affect my love for you, Bucky. Not one bit. I lied. I was so scared I would die without getting to tell you that. I still loved you more than ever even in that moment with your fist against another man’s cheek, and I guess that scared me even more. Because it was unlike the me I thought I knew. But this me, right here, is madly in love with you and she doesn’t care about anything other than being by your side for ever.”
“Angel,” Bucky sobbed, holding her hand to his lips, leaving appreciative, wet kisses on her palm, “you won’t regret it, baby, I promise. This is the last time you get hurt. I would die before I let anything like this ever happen to you again.”
“I know, and I trust you, my Bucky. If you’d give me time and if you’ll have me, I wanna be with you every moment of my life, forever.” She couldn’t not throw herself inside his arms, needing the closeness to reassure her this was real.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, holding her on his lap as tight as he possibly could.
“Lucky me,” she whispered in his shoulder.
Bucky felt himself coming alive again at the smell of jasmines in her hair and the feel of her warm body in his hold. She was a piece missing from him and now that she was back, he wasn’t going to waste a second without worshiping the steps she walked.
“I know I might need a while, but that doesn’t change anything. I still love you with my whole heart, Bucky,” she reassured, squeezing him to her even more.
“Take all the time you need, angel. I’ll be right here. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“Promise me something though.”
“Anything.”
“No more killing people on my behalf.”
“What if they have a gun pointed at you?”
“Okay, only in that case then because it’s self-defense.”
“I promise.” Bucky smiled, sliding her hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.
She pressed her forehead to his with a smile, “thank you.”
“We’re injury buddies now,” she joked when they pull away making Bucky laugh out loud for the first time in days.
“Does it hurt, angel?”
"Mine doesn't hurt, you?" He kissed her covered wrist gently.
"Does it hurt?"
They both asked at the same time, making each other laugh.
“Not as much anymore,” she replies, not wanting to remember how much it hurt when she was tied up in the cold room.
“Let’s eat so you could take your pain meds.” Bucky offered her his metal hand and she took it with her good one with a content smile.
~
Everything was going to be okay again. She knew it. Her hand was back in Bucky's and there was nothing their love wouldn't be able to pass. This might not be the Bucky she got in a relationship with, but it was the Bucky she wanted and was going to continue it with.
He was still and was always going to be her bucky.
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steventhusiast · 8 months
Text
dumb little thing i wrote about steve's real name actually being Alistair Steven Harrington and him hating that fact
-
Eddie's been peacefully letting Steve nap against him during their weekly movie night when the Harrington house phone goes off. Steve jolts upright, and blinks blearily at Eddie as it rings loud and clear.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I got it." Eddie assures him.
He gets up, and watches Steve deflate back into the cushions with a sleepy sigh before he walks off to the wall phone in the hall. As he's about to pick up the phone, he remembers whose phone he's picking up, and sighs at the formal greeting he has to force out.
"Harrington residence. Who am I speaking with?" He asks.
"Oh- uh. Who is this?" A feminine voice responds, and he's a bit surprised at how unsure it sounds.
"This is Eddie, ma'am."
"And why are you answering my phone, Eddie? Where's Ali?"
Eddie can't help the intense frown that creeps up on him at the words. Who the fuck is Ali? Wait. Shit. Is this Mrs Harrington?
"I'm sorry. I don't know any Alis. I'm a friend of Steve's, if that helps, Mrs Harrington?"
It's actually killing him to be this polite.
He hears a sigh through the phone, before the woman speaks up again.
"Well, that explains it. I see Alistair is still too stubborn to go by his first name."
"What?"
"Don't worry about it. Just let Ali- Steven. Let Steven know his mother called, would you, dear? Where is he, anyway?"
"Uhm, he's sleeping ma'am. I will let.. Alistair.... know you called."
As he puts the phone back on the wall, there's a shit-eating grin he can't help. He mouths the word 'Alistair' to himself and giggles a little.
What a little rich people name. No wonder Steve's been hiding it from him. He is going to have so much fun with this.
He walks back to the living room, and sees Steve still awake, looking adorably sleepy.
"Who w's it?" He asks. Eddie's grin sharpens a little.
"Oh, Ali, still sleepy, darling?" He asks, and delights in the way Steve completely wakes up in a split second. His eyes are wide.
"What did you call me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you prefer Alistair?" Eddie manages to get out before giggles take over, and he lets himself collapse on the couch next to Steve as he hears an embarrassed groan from the other.
"Of course it was my mother who phoned. She's the only one who calls me that, you know?"
"Now there are two people that call you that, Stairy baby." Eddie claims, and leans forward to kiss Steve's cheek.
Steve seems less annoyed by this than Eddie expected. He mostly just seems put out, and he sighs again.
"If you call me Alistair in front of the kids I'm breaking up with you."
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sacharinee · 10 months
Note
more sleepy!peter pleaseee!!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: peter parker x reader
w/c: 800+
a/n: i had the roles reversed this time lolol - this post is based on x and abt one office reference!
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peter loved sleeping next to you.
your bed was always so comfy and you were always so warm.
but sometimes it had its downsides
it could just be the frustration getting to him, but the poor boy couldn’t seem to sleep.
maybe it was the fact that you two were practically sleeping in a freezer. you always told your boyfriend you couldn’t ever fall asleep in a hot box. 
or maybe it could just be you, sleeping so peacefully, without a care in the world, unmoved and unbothered, all while being the world’s biggest blanket hogger. 
he also knew he shouldn’t have drank that extra cup of coffee earlier in the evening, however in his defense, he was exhausted, and he needed that extra boost to get through his last few classes of the day.
as he looked at you, a shiver ran down from his neck and to his spine, feeling goosebumps scatter around his arms.
the dim lamppost outside shines through your window and onto your relaxed face. peter’s jealous of the sweet slumber you’re in.
“y/n?” he reaches out to poke your puffy cheek.
you’re dead asleep. 
you were tucked away across the mattress as he tries tugging the blanket away from you, attempting to spare some for himself. your loose grip allows peter to find comfort in the heat the warm sheets bring when he wraps it around his shoulders, tucking his feet inside and tangling it with yours. 
peter feels himself finally dozing off, his heart rate slowly decreasing. he's halfway asleep when you disrupt him, feeling you gradually snatch the blanket away, stripping him of the toasty covers.
“y/n/n,” he groans. the boy is now restless as he begins to lightly poke your cheek again, “c’mon please?” 
this time, when he reaches for you once more, he feels you quickly wrap your hand around his pointer finger.
“touch me one more time, parker and i swear-”
“i just wanna sleep” he whines. he’s frowning at you with those big eyes, wishing you would turn around to face him. 
“you’re gonna be sleeping by yourself for the rest of your life if you don’t-”
“please,” his voice cracks. peter's desperate to rest and the least you could is to help out.
you heave a sigh, “peter just,” you turn towards him, keeping your lids shut, “close your eyes”
he’s quick to do so tightly, shifting around to get more comfortable, “take some deep breaths.”
peter follows your instructions, “slow your heartbeat down,” he takes a few moments to focus on the task and he begins to feel more at ease than he has the entire night. he waits a bit longer for you to continue.
“and then what?”
silence.
“y/n?”
no answer.
“y/n!” and he’s shaking your shoulders, “you can’t sleep now!”
you groan in annoyance, “just go to sleep, peter”
“you don’t think i would if i could!?” he huffs.
“well, what d’you want me to do?”
“umm,” he takes a few moments to ponder before he suggests, “ask me about my day.” 
you blink one eye open at him, glaring, “it’s 2am... and you want me to ask you how your day was?”
peter blankly blinks in return, offering you a toothy grin, “mm, yea!”
you could only stare back at him blankly as he waits for you, and slowly you ask, “how was your day.”
he’s instantly giddy at your question (which definitely didn’t sound like a question), and breathes out a relieved sigh.
“i’m so glad you asked,” he shakes his head, “it was so tiring.”
he began to ramble on about how eventful his day was. and no matter how hard you tried to fight off sleep, there was something so calming about peter’s voice that puts you to sleep.
“-and she bought me a churro, so that was nice. oh, and you know howard? that homeless man on 31st?”
“mhmgh.” 
gradually, he subconsciously moves closer to you, playing with a loose thread of your blanket and tucking himself in, snug against your body. 
“he told me that he lost his pet pigeons when he got kicked out and he asked me to go help find them for him. i never realized how hard it was to swing while holding a couple of birds. but anyways, i still have-”
peter takes a look at you as you doze off and whines your name.
he’s shocked when you surprisingly move towards him, bringing an arm around his torso and tangling your legs with his.
at last, the boy seems calm down after awhile, focusing his breathing to follow suit with yours. talking did seem to help. now he’s finally warm, laying in bed next to the girl he loves most. and you’re pleased with your effort to help him sleep.
it's only a matter of time until he pipes up again.
“hey y/n, if I was a worm in a top hat who could only communicate with you telepathically, would you still love me?” 
“dammit, peter”
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lizzieisright · 2 months
Note
hey hurt/comfort idea:
soo what about the reader and abby being best friends for years and reader always had a crush on abby. they go to a party and abby introduces her new gf to u. she always liked her but thought reader didn’t (always a bit horny around reader, but they know eachother since childhood so abby mistakes readers flirting as being flirty like friends) so reader gets absolutely hartbroken, drinks till she passes out but abby takes care of her ofc. abbys gf is always with her tho so it just hurts even more.
she avoids abby till the next frat prty or smth (maybe it’s college!au) and then they hook up, abby can’t remember cause she’s too drunk and is back w her gf
very messy but i hope u get the idea :P
(also to make it more hurtful make abby mean while she’s drunk bc she’s going through a rough time but isn’t telling anyone)
It took me so long, I'm so sorry
Palestine: what can you do
I've changed a few things (they don't hook up) because I can't deal with cheating, and I couldn't decide on what ending I wanted so there's a poll in the end.
Tags: Modern AU, childhood friends, Angst, pining and unrequited love, of course.
_______________
Abby is a fucking God, and you come to this conclusion when you're 11 and she helps you with your stupid assignment.
When you're both 14 you start to understand that what you feel for her is not, in fact, an admiration. 
You come to this conclusion when you sit in her bedroom and she jokes about teaching you how to kiss because you're a loser and you agree - and yeah, the kiss is a mess, but now you both know that you want to kiss girls. And you want to kiss one girl in particular, but Abby is your best friend and you won’t do anything that will lead to losing her.
Being a God means Abby is out of your reach and you have to live with your stupid feelings.
You're jealous of every boy who jokes around her to get her attention.
You're jealous of every girl who dares to look at her a little too long.
Abby is popular and she starts dating and it breaks your heart every time, and you can't look at other people because all your gods look like Abby.
"Why don't you go on a date?" Abby asks once when you're 16 and you're eating pizza in your bedroom, watching another marvel movie. "I think Jen likes you."
"I don't want to." What would be the point if the only person you want to date won't ever look at you this way?
"Why? Don't you get horny like the rest of us mortals?"
The worst part of being in love with your popular best friend is that she recently lost her virginity and she can't shut up about sex because she is excited about it.
"I have my hand, Abby." You roll your eyes at her.
"But it feels better when the other person does it." Abby winks and puts her hand on your thigh. "It's better, isn't it?" She rubs your thigh and your breath hitches. She looks at you, playful, and goes a little up on your thigh, and your face burns.
"You belong in horny jail, Anderson." You laugh, but don't move her hand: if you move it she'll call you a chicken, but she is a chicken enough herself to not move it further.
And she doesn't.
You live your life peacefully, dealing with your feelings as best as you can.
Then college starts and you're too busy to think about Abby 24/7 and you feel like it gets easier. Like you can breathe around her and you almost don't feel pain when she talks about her sex life.
Almost.
You know it's easy to deal with because all those girls in her bed are temporary while you're in Abby's life forever, and not because your feelings suddenly fainted. Abby likes to sleep around, she is a flirt even with you - a lot, actually, she thinks she can get away with a lot by saying she is touch-starved and then her hands wander off somewhere they're not supposed to be, and you let her, because you'll take whatever you can.
So you go through Abby's fuckboy phase with ease, because sex talk is way better than feelings talk.
A few years pass and suddenly the feelings talk starts, and you're slowly dying inside, because Abby likes someone. Abby talks about how nervous she is around her, she is always on her phone texting her, she is always busy when you want to spend time with her.
You hate this girl with all you have, because she takes Abby away, she takes everything away - Abby is not touchy anymore, she only hugs you briefly when you see her, she is not listening to you half of the time, too caught up in her fantasies.
You hope her girl is a bitch and an asshole and toxic so you can talk Abby out of it, but then Abby tells you she is going to introduce you at the party and you cry yourself to sleep that night.
"How do I look?"
"Like you need Jesus." You say honestly because Abby in the muscle tee and a pair of cargo pants makes you ache.
"Yeah?" Abby looks at you through the mirror with that fucking smirk she knows you like. "Am I fuckable?"
"We both know you prefer to be on the other end of that word, Anderson." You roll your eyes and put your shoes on only to straighten up to Abby's face way too close. She looks you up and down.
"You're very fuckable though."
"Fuck off." You huff and open the door of her apartment, hoping she won't tease you for being flustered. "Let's go before Manny gets so drunk you'll have to carry him. Again."
You spent the night in dread of meeting Abby's girl, dreaming of seeing her red flags or something to have a real reason to hate her to Abby's face, but then Abby lights up and she excuses herself to go and meet her girl, while you try so hard to not throw up from your nerves.
The girl is gorgeous.
"This is (y/n)." Abby motions at you and you smile politely. "This is Mia."
"I'm so happy to meet you." Mia smiles and she looks kind and genuine and fuck, you can't hate her. There's no jealousy in her, no fake smiles, no tense body language. "Abby loves you so much."
You swallow hard.
"I put up with so much of her shit, she doesn't have a choice." You joke and Mia laughs.
Mia is funny and cute and you understand why Abby likes her, because it's impossible not to. Mia is a type of girl that you'd think of as a bitch because she is popular, therefore arrogant, but when you get to know her she is a total sweetheart who'd help you find a way to your class if she notices you're lost.
This is hard.
This is going to break you.
You can't cope with this. You can't cope with seeing Abby's gentle gaze on Mia, with her careful touch and constant care. So you excuse yourself and go to the bar to get drunk, as if you can drown your feelings by dragging them to the bottom of the bottle. You dance and you drink, you dance and you drink and repeat it five other times until all long islands make you feel sick and you can't walk by yourself anymore. You're an independent woman and you refuse to ask for help, but when you can't order a taxi for the fifth time because your eyes are so blurry, Mia comes to you and holds you by your elbow.
"We will take you home, okay?" She says kindly and you feel your lips tremble. We.
"Jus- can you c'll a taxi f'me?" You slur, but you feel Abby's hand on your waist as she supports you. "Don't wanna ruin your night."
"You're not ruining anything." Mia says cheerfully and orders a taxi when Abby gives her your address. "Happens to the best of us."
The drive home makes you super dizzy and Abby has to put her hand between your head and the car door because you hit it all the time. The moment the car stops and Abby goes around to help you get on your legs, you throw up on the ground and it's a miracle you don't get everyone's shoes dirty.
Abby decides to carry you to your place and you can't shut up even for a second.
"I'm s'sorry guys. Not a good first impression. I really like you, Mia. You look kind. Like a grandma. In a good way, I'm sorry." Mia giggles. "Your laugh is very cute. It's cute, right Abby?"
"Yeah." Abby agrees quietly and what you don't know is that for her your drunken rant was way cuter than her girlfriend's laugh.
"Yeah. You look great together, I'm s'happy for you Abby. Haven't seen her that nervous because of a girl in years, can you imagine, Mia? You make this asshole nervous." You're chuckling sadly, you want to cry because you don't make Abby nervous.
No, you just embarrass her in front of her girlfriend because you're so pathetically in love you can't deal with it and drink half of the bar until you forget how to walk on your own.
Abby helps you change and Mia gives you water. She makes sure there is fresh air in your room and she tucks your blanket, and you close your eyes to hide your tears because Mia is so nice. She is a dream girl and Abby is so happy and there is no space for you anymore.
Because Mia took your place in that forever equation.
On the next day you text your apologies to both Abby and Mia (she followed you on instagram and asked you how you felt) and you can't deal with this. It hurts so much because you love Abby so much and you want her to be happy but it seems like the price of it is going to be your heart.
So you start avoiding her as best as possible, and what is more sad - it's not even that hard. Abby is always with Mia, fuck, Mia even asks you to come with them to hang out, which you always find an excuse not to. Library, fever, other plans, other plans again, sorry, paper is due tomorrow, my aunt is in town (she is not). Anything to not meet with them.
You still see Abby during classes and you give each other life updates, but it's been weeks since you actually hung out and you accept the reality that yes, there's no place for you in Abby's life anymore.
You cry every fucking night.
Then Abby suddenly remembers you exist and she asks you if you want to hang out, just the two of you, because she misses you. You miss her too and you agree.
You regret it the moment she cuddles you in front of her tv. She has a girlfriend now, why is she so touchy again? Did something happen with Mia that Abby came to you?
"Is everything okay with Mia?"
"Yeah, she is great." Abby says and buries her nose in your neck.
No. You can't deal with this.
So you start avoiding Abby at all costs after this - you can't shake the feeling that this is cheating, because for you Abby's touch has never been platonic, no. And it never felt platonic either, it was always giving you hope because Abby was flirting and touching the way friends don't touch each other. Maybe one day she'd finally give you a chance, you thought, but this day never came.
It is another party a month and half later - yay, Abby and Mia have been together for two months now! - and you don't know if Abby is going to come, but you hope she doesn't. You know she knows something is up and she will want her answers if she meets you.
But you have fun. You play games, you drink, you dance, you get flirted with and you forget about your pain just to get so drunk again you can't help but go outside to find a place to cry in peace.
You miss Abby, you miss her because she is a part of you and yes, you're in love with her, but she also your best fucking friend and you hate yourself for being in love with her, because it ruins your life. It has been ruining your life since you were fourteen and actually understood what you felt, but now it was getting serious.
"(Y/n)?"
Fuck.
You wipe your tears and look at Abby who is standing right in front of you.
"Hi." You squeak and she drops on the knees to look at you.
"Did something happen? Why are you crying?"
"I'm just sad. Don't worry." You try to smile but Abby's frown makes you cry more. "I'm going home anyway, so you can enjoy the party."
"What the hell are you saying? I'm not leaving you."
She should. She should leave you and not complicate it further.
Abby calls a taxi and you chuckle in your head - If you had a nickel for every time Abby was taking your drunk ass home, you'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
You tell her as much because the meme is funny and you try to be positive.
Abby helps you out of the car and this time you don't throw up.
"You know, last time I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mia." You chuckle and make your way upstairs with Abby's arm around your waist. "She is cute, I'm so happy for you."
Abby chuckles and leads you inside your apartment, but between the two of you she is mostly sober and she has some questions, and she wants her answers. You know this too, so when you sit on your sofa you feel like all your shields are crumbling: you’re giving up on hiding this from her. If this is the end, so be it.
"You've been avoiding me." Abby says quietly, looking you in your eyes like she is just a little bit mad. 
"Yeah, I know." You admit with a chuckle. "You have a girlfriend now, it's so cool. When was the last time you liked someone like that? Back in school?"
"So you've been avoiding me on purpose." 
"I don't think you can avoid someone accidentally, Abby.” You say, not holding back your venom. “Anyway, I’m so happy for you.”
“Why are you avoiding me?” Abby moves closer to you  and you swallow your tears because there’s nowhere to run.
“Because it’s easier.” You shrug. “I just want you to be happy, okay? Does Mia make you happy?”
“Yeah.” Abby admits and you start crying again: it hurts so fucking much. 
“Good. It’s good. I’m happy for you.” You sniffle and Abby huffs, annoyed.
“Stop saying that. Stop avoiding my questions.”
Inside you all hell breaks loose.
“I love you, okay?” You finally burst. “I love you, and it hurts so fucking bad and I can’t fucking see you with her or know that you’re with her! What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were me? I can’t- I can’t-” You throw your hands desperately and bite your lip, too angry with this whole situation.
“I love you too.” Abby says, confused.
“No, no Abby, you don’t understand.” You’re quiet and angry, almost spitting every word out. “I’m in love with you. I’m not jealous as a friend, Abby. I’m jealous because I want to be in her place, okay? Fuck, I wanted to be in your every girl’s place since you started dating girls!” 
There is silence. You thought it would be terrifying - this silence - but right now you feel nothing except how dizzy your head is. You feel empty and there's no tears anymore. Abby stares at you in shock, her fists clenched, and you chuckle cynically. 
“So can I continue avoiding you now or should I suffer more?”
“Fuck, (y/n)..” Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, going over her face with her palm. “Fuck. Don't do this to me.”
“Well.” You huff, annoyed. “Not like I have a fucking choice, Anderson.”
Abby throws her head back and stares at the ceiling while you do the same, trying to keep your drunk ass stable. You feel like eternity passes before Abby speaks again, and it is strangely comforting, having your best friend here with you, in this boat of pain, and sharing it with her. 
“All these years. All these years we could have been together.” Abby sounds like she is mourning. 
You thought your heart broke when you met Mia? Forget it, it's broken now.
You sob, howl almost, and Abby is suddenly holding you in her arms, placing kisses to your hair. Her heart can't handle seeing you cry, never could - yes, she tried to move on with Mia, and it worked partially, but all her effort went to shit just now. You're the most precious girl to her and nothing can change it. Abby swallows and braces herself, suddenly making a decision in her head, all her anxiety about what is a right thing to do gone. 
“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all that time we've missed. I'm not letting you go now.” Abby says in your ear and you sob even more violently. “Come on, baby, I'm here. Let me see your face.”
You can't believe it. You can't even process it: is it your drunken dream? Are you hallucinating? It would definitely not be the first time. But you look up at Abby and she gently wipes your tears and there’s so much love and hurt in her eyes it’s hard not to break into another sobbing fit. 
“I've been in love with you since we were seventeen.” Abby smiles at you and you shakily smile back. “I’m sorry it came to this. But I'm here now.”
“I love you.” You say feverishly and Abby's restraint breaks.
She kisses you hungrily, practically devouring you, and you're weak, so you return her kiss and press into her, soaking in her warmth and strength. Abby is solid and tender, she holds you like she cares and you cling to her for a moment.
But then you remember yourself and push Abby away, shaking your head.
“No. You're better than this. You're not going to betray Mia like this. I'm not going to let you, Abby. We're not doing this,” You motion between yourself and her. “Behind your girlfriend's back. And I'm also fucking drunk.”
Abby chuckles and kisses your forehead. 
“Come on, I'll help you get into your bed.”
Everything else after is a blur as Abby helps you change and covers you with your blanket, and you fall asleep. You can't wait for the morning to come.
****
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wintfleur · 2 months
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thinking about Daryl Dixon dating a book worm girly . . . they would meet on the Greene farm. She was a good friend of Hershel’s son Shawn, and stayed and lived with the family when the outbreak started. She would spend most of her time with Hershel and Beth or with her face in a book . . . she would like to be alone a lot, having her own spot on the farm away from the house where she could peacefully read and not have to worry about interacting with anyone, a spot that used to be her and Shawn’s . . . also a spot where Daryl decides to set up his own small camp away from everyone . . . well everyone but her. He would be hesitant at first to approach her when he gets back from another search for Sofia, seeing her leaning up against a tree with a thick book in her lap. He’d seen her around a few times in the short amount of time he’s been at the farm, only with Beth or Hershel. He’d ask her what she wants, assuming that she was waiting for him. She’d apologize, saying that she just wanted to be away from everyone, and surprising the both of them he said with a grunt she could stay as long as she didn’t touch his shit or start reading aloud. And for the first time he sees a small smile on her lips . . . but it was quickly covered when she lifted her book up from her lap.
Time-skip to after the farm falls and before they find the prison. They would become closer . . . well as close as two antisocial and closed off people could get. It was more like they found comfort in each other’s silent presence. She was so good at being quiet and finding her way around in the woods that she would often join daryl tracking/hunting. The first time daryl sees her smile since the farm is when he gives her a book he found in the trunk of an abandoned car. Since she couldn’t carry a bunch of books since they were traveling, every time she was done with a book he’d try and search for another to switch it with . . . would let her quietly mumble about the book she was reading when she couldn’t sleep and he was on watch. Would walk next to her as she walks n reads, making sure she wouldn’t trip.
When they make it to the prison, he’d bring her back multiple books whenever he goes out looking for supplies, and over time the small desk she had in her cell was cluttered with books . . . all from daryl. He would let her ramble about her books whenever they were on watch in the watch tower, him standing up and looking out while she comfortably sat on the floor with her book. He’d realize his feelings for her at the strange and unfamiliar feeling he felt in his chest as he watched her read a book to Carl and Beth who was holding Judith.
Time-skip to when they are now together, he would come back late from his shift at the look out tower in the prison and would check on her in there cell, expecting to see her sleeping since it was late . . . Instead she was curled up in her bed, technically now there bed, reading with a lit candle next to her. Not wanting to sleep without him by her side . . . and wanting to also finish another chapter. Whenever daryl would wake up from a nightmare she would quietly read to him, taking him out of his tortured mind and into the lovely world of her book. Whenever she was too focused on a book he’d surprise her with a kiss on her cheek or lips . . . completely stealing her attention. All she would have to do is bat her eyelashes and say please and daryl would fold . . . reading to her when she’s to tired to read herself, she feels so safe and warm when she’s in his arms as she listens to him read to her . . . he always kisses her forehead when he notices she fell asleep, tucking her bookmark a few pages back, knowing that she probably wouldn’t remember the last few pages he read to her.
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˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( take this as my application to write for twd !!! I wrote this in 20 minutes at 1am, soo it’s probably not the best I just couldn’t sleep without getting this written down. Please let me know if I should continue writing for twd . . . I’m currently rewatching the show and my love for daryl just grows stronger !!! Again please let me know what you guys think, don’t be a silent reader <333 )
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