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#remember you deserve all good things but don't go around hurting people
fromdarzaitoleeza · 2 months
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Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .
I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.
The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .
I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .
Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid
Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.
I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .
Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.
Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings
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psychelis-new · 3 months
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pick a pile: "You are..." - Loving and encouraging words for you
take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read some loving warm words about you. it's always nice to hear about our positive traits, right? here you can find yours and some encouraging words about your next steps/healing. keep going and take care of you! and also, be ready to let love in, you deserve it :)
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
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1 2 3
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pile 1
You are sunny, cheerful, bright and warm. You're also pretty welcoming and you like to hug people or generally enjoy physical displays of affection. I think people like to be around you, you basically cheer up everyone and "set the mood for the evening" (I just heard that, IDK). You have a lovely smile, everyone is in awe with it and you in general; maybe you also have a particular way to laugh? Like you maybe make a strange sound, and everyone is fond of it. They love to make you laugh honestly just to hear it. I feel like you take emotional care of others and you may feel like a sip of fresh water to many. You're extrovert (or at least seem so in specific context), confident and you know exactly what to do or say to make the day of the people you are in contact with. I think you may share smiles with people on the street and even help them if they need (eg. like if they drop something you may pick it up for them, especially for older people or you may leave your seat to them). I think you are very funny and smart, and like to joke a lot. Okay for some of you you may have changed after something happened and keep this sunny side of you a bit hidden (or maybe you occasionally fear being judged about it, or you have been), but honestly I think you only need to reconnect with it and let it flow from you. It's hurtful when some things happen but it's also something that... just happens in life, sadly (I'm not trying to invalidate your experience/pain, at all). We don't have to let those negative things change us so much, especially if we still feel that flame/desire inside. I mean... don't feel guilty for being happy, if that's what you feel. You can be happy no matter what happened. You have to be happy. Find new ways for that happiness to flow within but reach it "and let it rain" out of you. Enjoy it, let it be there and help you heal what hurt as well, if you need. You can find new happiness anytime. New reasons to be happy, too. This is also true for the few of you who tend to hide pain behind a smile, pretending it's all good. Toxic positivity won't solve it, as avoiding problems. Be more balanced (maybe you were called by pile 2 as well) and accepting of what is wrong: it doesn't mean you let it take over you (ask for help if it's too scary), it means you're not being blind to it but you're listening to it and trying to make it better (ofc you can wear a smile while you do that, you totally have to! Healing happens also with taking breaks to enjoy life and hobbies/passions...). You are such a beam of light for everyone, confront your problems (if there's any) and then keep on shining!
song: chicken noodle soup | j-hope; wake me up before you go go | wham! (I channeled the first song while doing your reading, anyway the mood for you is: jitterbug!)
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pile 2
You are strong, pure and very special. You stand out, and honestly you don't even have to do much to stand out. I think it's your energy: it also has something healing for those that comes near you, something comforting. You should be more confident in yourself: maybe you also doubt about your looks or how you may be seen/perceived by others but honestly you have/are nothing less than anyone else. You are caring and have a good heart; maybe you have buildt some walls around yourself out of past traumas, and this is blocking you a little when it comes to sharing with others or creating deeper relationships. It's okay take your time to work through those walls. You have beautiful eyes, and maybe you like to look at others in the eyes too? I think you are also sincere, honest and humble, at times also to a fault: please do stand up for yourself when you need, and set your boundaries. You may also be a bit too strict on you, especially when you make some type of mistakes or something? Maybe it's the fear I mentioned in the beginning of being perceived as you're not or in a bad way, or maybe... at times you may be scared of your thoughts somehow. It's not just the anxiety you may get from them and how they may make you spiral so you tend to stop them (it's okay to do this and distract your mind when you start feeling overwhelmed, but please come back to those thoughts when you feel calmer: to avoid thinking about a problem won't help you solve it at all, it will come back stronger. And please ask for help if you need), but there's also something else. Remind yourself usually the first thought is what we learned, our instinctive first reaction to a situation (usually comes up to "protect us") while the second thought we have is the one that comes from the heart, it really expresses what we think with a calmer and more balanced mind. I mean, eg. let's say someone says they got something you always wanted and this triggers you: your first reaction could also be being envious of them and feel not enough compared to them and potentially say or think something negative/feel resentful or angry, but if you stopped and thought about it again, you may just be really happy for this person and see yourself as on a different path: your time will come too. Be more kind with yourself, more patient: you're unlearning a negative mental pattern and that's not easy, it will take time and practice and lot of patience. You are so lovely you have no idea, please try to see and show that yourself too.
song: a little bit yours | jp saxe (indeed come back to your core self and show yourself love, and accept it too; closing chapters, changing and unlearning stuff is hard, but you can make it)
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pile 3
You are multilayered. You have lovely rosey cheeks, people may want to squeeze them lol. You are sweet and cute, you probably are also a little shy or maybe you feel anxious in social settings and you may end up blushing a lot. You may also be stubborn occasionally (not too bad tbh) and can be determined or at least you reach good results in job/school. I think you tend to hide a part of yourself though or find it hard to deal with it/not like it. There's something you fear showing or that you don't want others to see about you, probably your pain, probably something from your past that you keep inside (also cause you can't accept/understand it -it could be abuse for someone, I hope you are safe now). Maybe you're also "scared"... of being loved/seen for real (having your "mask removed"?) or feeling vulnerable... Your energy feels younger or maybe just unexperienced in some fields or situations (maybe you also feel uncomfortable in some situations or you felt so in the past and you avoided joining them so now you feel a little behind maybe: honestly, there's nothing bad in this. You're not behind, you just did what was better for you and you still have time to make more experiences. You have all the time you need and want). I think there's indeed something about time here, it could be you are nostalgic about something that now you are missing/lacking, maybe feelings you could experience in your childhood, or you want to delete something from your past, or it could be that you fear running out of time, as mentioned, as you want to experience many things still but maybe you are scared you won't make it or you don't know where to start from. Just take a break: the moment you'll feel more grounded, it will come to you. Focus on taking care of you and also do take naps if you need and can. If it's about your childhood, eg. if people taught you have to "grow up" or have dimmed you in any way (or you had to, in order to gain their approval), remember you don't really have to forget about your inner child nor to be someone you're not. You can be an adult and still be in touch with your inner child. It's not that one thing excludes the other. And you can be yourself without any fear (it's hard to believe it but you won't be pushed away by everyone if you aren't as they wish). Maybe your inner child now really needs you to be closer to them, they need your appreciation and support, probably also after something you had to go through in your past: your inner child totally did great back then with all they had. Hug them and show them love. I think some of you may also love to work or be around children or pets as they may help you feel more in touch with your own inner child and more grounded. Again, be attentive to your needs, and meet them: maybe you were *unwillingly* taught you don't deserve that much (you had to accept crumbles in relationships) but it's not so, you deserve the moon: remember this. You're already perfect, there's nothing about you in your past or present that you need to fix, my love. Heal your fears about being yourself, receiving (love in particular) and don't run away from it, don't run away from yourself: you'll get all you wish for. Give it and yourself time. And, if you need this: it wasn't your fault, you were not responsible for that event/decision for which you feel like you were (and maybe you didn't even had to take). Whatever it was. You were trying to win the approval of someone who couldn't love you as you wished. Build boundaries around people (adults) and remember you are not responsible for them and what they do/their mistakes: you're not here to save them from anything. You have your own self and life to care about now.
song: heart attack | demi lovato
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httpspedri26 · 6 months
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Please another jude angst my love they’re amazing❤️✋🏻
Arguments - Jude Bellingham
Angst
Jude Bellingham x reader
Send requests!
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while the echoes of his argument remained in the air. The room felt heavy with unresolved tension, a silent testament to how strained their relationship had become.
“We were crazy to think this could’ve worked” Jude mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she heard it loud and clear.
“What are you talking about?” Y/n furrowed her eyebrows.
Jude groaned, frustrated that she didn’t grasp it. “Y/n, I’m never around! I wake up when you’re still asleep, spend most of the day at the training grounds, and when I come back, all we do is fight, and then we ignore each other for the rest of the day. We don’t work anymore, Y/n/n.”
Y/n sighed, realizing the weight of Jude's words. "Maybe we need a break, some time apart to figure things out," she suggested, looking for a way to ease the palpable tension between them.
Jude remained silent, but his guilty brown eyes said everything
“Y- you want to break up?” Y/n whispered not daring to look away from him fearing he was going to disappear any moment
“Y/n/n I can’t be a good boyfriend if I’m trying to dedicate all of my time to fútbol, I need to focus on my career, and it's not fair to you if I can't give you the attention you deserve sometimes I don’t even sleep just so I can spend time with you-“.
“okay, you know what, Jude? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldn’t that be easier? you’d be able to sleep better at night, right?”
they both knew she didn’t mean it, though Jude couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and jude knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this. 
when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, she continued. “you know how hard i work for this relationship. i’ve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, one— hell, i’ve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if it’s every day or once a year.”
"Yeah? Well, I didn't ask you to do any of that, Y/n. You chose to do those things. Like right now, I didn't ask you to come to Madrid for a few months. You wanted to be here because we barely spoke to each other, but it didn't even make a fucking difference because we don't even talk while we're here together," Jude snapped
A sob escaped from Y/n's mouth as she stood up from the couch.
"Wait, Y/n, I didn’t -"
"Fuck you, Bellingham. I should've listened to my parents when they said this was never going to work out"
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moonstruckme · 7 months
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Hi! I am absolutely in love with your writing! The way you portray our boys is just *chefs kiss*
Anywho, I was wondering if I could request poly!marauders x plus size reader? Maybe she is very confident until somebody picks on her and she starts becoming obsessed with dieting and stuff. (I'm struggling a lot with that rn) just a bunch of worry and comfort from our boys.
If you don't feel comfortable writing this or just the prompt I gave it's okay. Ily!♡
Hi, thanks for requesting my love! I'm really sorry you're struggling right now, I know how hard it can be and hope you're doing your best to take good care of yourself. You're beautiful just as you are <33
cw: size insecurity, behavior that hints at disordered eating
poly!marauders x plus size!reader ♡ 1.2k words
The worst part is, you know they weren’t even really trying to insult you. 
You smiled as best you could, said your thanks politely, and moved on. Moved on outwardly, that is. Inside, the words play over and over in your head, like a song on the radio that gets worse each time you listen to it. It wasn’t that they were vicious, or particularly clever, or even wrong. It’s just, you’re not used to people commenting on your body like that. 
You know you’re not skinny. So does everyone else. Neither of you typically feel the need to confer about it. Every now and again, some cruel busybody will say something, but that’s fairly easy to brush off. They’re insecure about their own looks, they have nothing better to do than fixate on strangers’ appearances, they’ve probably been on diet pills since they were twelve. You wish them well and mostly forget about it. But what’s worse is when someone comes to you with good intentions. The idea of being perceived as pitiful or wrong—really, having your physical form perceived at all—by someone who seems to want the best for you is what really hurts. That’s what makes you want to hide, to shrink yourself down until they can’t see you anymore. To become the invisible status quo. 
It’s why, over the last few days, anything skintight or remotely showy has been relegated to the back of your closet in favor of things that hide your figure. Why you’ve stopped drawing attention to yourself with colorful makeup and instead started focusing on your health. Well, your health as it presents itself externally. 
“Anyone else fancy a dessert?” Sirius muses as you sit reading on the couch, Remus reading the next book in the series beside you. 
“Um, no,” James says, holding up a hand of cards from the game he and Sirius have been playing, “you only want to go so you don’t have to stick around and lose.” 
“Whatever my other, subconscious motives may be,” Sirius says guilelessly, “I really feel like something chocolate. Don’t you, Moons?”
That’s always a safe bet. Remus looks up from his book, intrigued. “I could go for some chocolate.” 
Sirius grins. “What about you, gorgeous?”
That’s usually a safe bet too. But you shouldn’t. “Thanks, but I’m still full from dinner.” 
Sirius looks cheated, and Remus cocks his head at you. “Really? Didn’t seem like you ate much.” He’s not wrong. Remus had made the most incredible feta pasta, it was borderline heartbreaking to leave any on your plate. But you’re trying to practice restraint, and thankfully, James had happily taken care of your leftovers for you. “Did you have a late lunch or something?”
“Mhm.” 
James looks up, eyebrows furrow bemusedly behind his glasses. “No you didn’t, angel. You said you didn’t feel like lunch after we had breakfast together, remember?”
“Oh.” You nod. So what? You’d had a late breakfast, and a decently sized dinner, and why do you really need more than two meals anyway? Who made that rule? You’re a bit hungry, but your body just needs time to adjust to your new routine. It’s used to overindulging. And nothing about today means you deserve dessert. “Right.” 
Sirius wraps his fingers delicately around your ankle, smoothing a path up your shin with his palm. “Darling,” he says, and he looks distracted as he runs his fingers over the old scars on your knee, but you know him well enough to recognize when he’s keyed in, “did you eat anything today, other than breakfast and that little bit of dinner? Any snacks or anything?” 
You can’t help the little rush of pride that goes through you. “No.” 
Sirius doesn’t look proud. In fact, he’s frowning, as are Remus and James. You change tactics. “I’m not really hungry, though.” 
“No?” Sirius' voice is unsettlingly gentle. “Why don’t you want to have dessert tonight, pretty girl?”
“Because,” you say, beginning to feel defensive (though you’re not sure of what), “I don’t need it.” 
“It’s not about need, though,” James says, and why is it beginning to feel like you’re in an argument? “It’s about what you want. Do you want a little something sweet?”
“I…” Yes. The answer is yes, but do you want it more than you want to feel good about yourself? “I think what I want more is to prove to myself that I can go without it.” 
Remus’ scars shift as his face scrunches in concern. “Dove,” he says, and you can’t decide if his tone is more reprimand or pity. You don’t like either option. “Where is this coming from?” 
“I’m just…I’m trying something new,” you decide. “I want to lose a little weight, okay? Nothing crazy.” 
“But why?” James sets down his cards, looking completely befuddled. “Angel, you’re gorgeous. You can do whatever you want, but we love you just like you are.” 
“And,” Sirius adds before you can reply, “we love you most when you’re happy. I sort of thought,” he says, lowering his voice like he’s telling you a secret, “that our late-night treat runs made you happy. No?”
“They do.” You pull your legs up onto the couch, away from Sirius’ touch. “I just…I think it would make me happy to be a more normal size, too.” 
Remus looks gutted. “Honey, you…it’s your body, and you should do whatever feels right for you to be healthy, but…we love you like this,” he insists, ardent. “You’re beautiful, I mean it, and I hate the idea that you might want to change for…well, for anyone other than yourself.” 
You hesitate. You’re not actually sure who you’re doing this for. When had you become one of the people who want for you to be smaller so desperately? “You seriously don’t think I would look better if I were thinner?” You’ve never been one to put much stock into what any men think of your appearance, so you feel silly for asking, but you’re in a vulnerable state. And really, don’t all guys want a girl that looks like the love interests in the movies you all grew up with? 
James looks you in the eye, letting you see the earnestness in his as he says, “You’re absolutely lovely, right here, right now. We wouldn’t change a thing.” 
Your answering smile is oddly watery. Remus makes an awfully lovely cooing sound, leaning over to wrap an arm around your waist and paying no mind to the chub there as he pulls you into his side. “Don’t be upset, darling. You know what I bet will cheer you up?” He smiles as you look up at him questioningly, kissing between your brows. “Some chocolate. How would you feel about that?”
You let out a quiet little laugh. “Pretty good.” 
“Yes!” Sirius pumps his fist in the air, already abandoning his cards and standing up. “I knew you’d come through, gorgeous. Now I think the more pressing question is, do we want chocolate pastries or chocolate ice cream?”
“Ice cream, obviously,” James says. “Before it gets so cold out we don’t feel like it.” 
“Not all of us suffer from weather constraints,” Sirius argues. “I vote pastry.” 
“Why would you bring ice cream up if you didn’t want it? Think long and hard, Pads. Are you going to feel like a frozen dessert when you need three layers to go outside in a few weeks?”
Remus rolls his eyes at you as you follow them out the door, letting your boys continue their bickering all the way to the store.
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loveforsatoru · 13 days
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hello !!!!!!!!!
I don't have anything specific, so idk, satoru with a five years old daughter? he would be such a cute and loving father 😓 i’m done, this life where I can't have satoru’s baby is killing me!!!!
this idea is so cute. i literally think about satoru as a dad all the time and it gives me major baby fever.
you never once thought that you could ever be this happy. what did you do to deserve it? maybe it’s the universe paying you back for all the times you’ve suffered in life both alone and your relationship with satoru. you’d been dating since high school, but it wasn’t easy. there was so much ache, time spent apart, and issues that you didn’t know if you could overcome. sleepless nights, occasional arguments and interference from your jobs drove your relationship into rocky paths, but at the end of the day, he never forgot to tell you he loved you even when you felt like the most unloveable person alive. through all the difficult times, the highs and the lows, he was always there and never once intended on leaving, so he sealed that promise with a ring and his vows.
you got married a couple years after high school. you were only 22, but your life couldn’t have turned out more perfect. it’s been 10 years and the love never died down. if anything, it grows with each passing day. now that you have a five year old daughter together, there’s only more to look forward to in the days to come.
satorus been away on a mission for a few weeks and you still have no idea when he’s going to come back. it hurts your daughter just as much as it hurts you. everyday, she asks when he’s going to come home and it breaks your heart to tell her, “i don’t know, but it’ll be soon.” when you weren’t even sure yourself. thankfully, satoru could never forget about the two most important people in his life and remembers to call in the morning and before your daughter goes to sleep, never missing a day.
besides today. your phone hasn’t rang once and it’s making you uneasy, your head racing with the worst possible thoughts. you have faith in satoru and his strength, but you can’t help but worry about him. he works a dangerous job and coming home is never a 100% guarantee.
you’re snapped out of trance when you feel a tug on your dress and little voice. your daughter is looking up at you, small hands tightly balled around the fabric of your dress while her blue eyes, identical to her fathers start to well up with tears.
“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask, picking her up into your arms and brushing a strand of white hair away from her face.
she doesn’t say anything at first and just buries her face into your neck where she begins to cry.
you attempt to calm her down, patting her back and getting her to look at you once more, “please dont cry… tell me what’s wrong and i’ll make it better.”
she speaks through uneven breaths, chubby cheeks now stained with tear streaks, “i called daddy but he didn’t answer.” speaking these words only caused her to cry again and it breaks your heart.
“don’t worry, he’ll come back. he’s okay and he’s safe. he’s just busy.” but the words are a form of consolation to you too. you’re trying your best to remain strong for your daughter, but it’s hard. being a mom is hard.
you walk over to the couch in the living and sit down, setting her on your lap while you wipe away her stray tears.
“listen to me for a second, okay?”
she rests her head on your chest, her breathing still ragged, but she’s no longer crying.
“your dad works really really hard for us. he wants us to live a good life, so he can’t always be home and he can’t always pick up the phone, but he tries as much as he can. we just have to be patient and wait for him to come home again. but he loves you very much. if he doesn’t answer the phone, it’s because he’s busy, not because he forgot about you, okay? the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s forgotten about you.”
she nods her head in understanding before asking one last question, one you don’t know the answer to.
“but when will he come back?”
now, you’re the one who has tears prickling in the corners of your eyes as your throat begins to sting, “i don’t know.” you wish you knew. you wish you could tell her he’s coming back today or the day after, but the uncertainty nips at your thoughts constantly.
what you don’t expect is for satoru to be standing right outside the door to your shared home, overhearing everything you just said. it tugs at his heart strings, but he’s here now.
he digs through his pocket and pulls out his key to unlock the door, the familiar jangle echoing through the house and your daughter immediately runs up to the door, squealing when he makes his way inside.
he scoops her up into his arms and litters her face in kisses, holding onto her tightly, “i’ve missed you so much, munchkin.”
you stay frozen in your spot on the couch, going wide eyed as another tear falls down your cheek and you don’t even notice it.
he gives you a smile from across the room while your daughter babbles on and on to him about what he’s missed. he listens intently, cherishing the moments that she’ll be little for as long as he can.
“and at school, we went on a field trip to the park and i found a butterfly but it flew away,” she pouts, “daddy, can you get me a butterfly?”
he chuckles and nods his head, “of course i can.” he would never say no to her. she could ask him for a piece of the moon and he’d do it.
you watch as he tickles her belly and she erupts into laughter, grabbing onto his shoulder for support.
“i have a surprise for you,” he whispers, giving her cheek another big kiss.
she claps her hands together, “what is it?” excitement laced in her voice which makes satorus smile grow wider.
he shifts through his briefcase before pulling out a small box of munchkins, “munchkins for my munchkin!”
she lets out a near scream and takes the box in her grubby hands, already popping one in her mouth.
“daddy, say ahhh,” she says with a mouth full of munchkins.
satoru does as she tells him to and opens his mouth enough for her to feed one to him, “thank you, munchkin!”
your heart swells watching them interact. he’s a good dad. you both talked about being parents together so many times and now that it’s happened, it still doesn’t feel entirely real, like you’re dreaming, but if this were a dream, you wouldn’t open your eyes.
you stand up and walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso, tighter than usual, inhaling his scent which you’ve spent all this time missing. you feel whole again and your nerves have eased up.
he leans down and presses a chaste kiss to your lips, “hi, sweetheart.”
“i missed you.”
he wipes your tears away with the pad of his thumb before wrapping an arm around you, the other holding your daughter, “i missed you more. both of you. gosh, i felt like i was gonna die if i had to be away for another day.” it may sound like an exaggeration, but to satoru it’s nothing less than the truth. it was agonizing to be apart from his wife and the mini version of him. he missed waking up next to you, missed helping your daughter with her homework and reading bedtimes stories before bed.
but you’re together again and that’s all that matters. you’ve never been more relieved to watch a familiar face walk through the door.
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sanguineterrain · 7 months
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Hiii, discovered your fics on AO3 and they’re very my jam! If you’re still taking requests, could I suggest something where Jason rescues you, an angsty hurt/comfort? Maybe they’re pining for each-other and maybe confront/confess their feelings, or are already together, up to you.
No worries if not 😊😊 Thanks for the good words ❤️🖤
Hey I know you! Thanks for leaving nice comments over yonder 🥰 Idk if I really delivered on this prompt but I hope you like it anyway lol 😅 I combined this prompt with another I received about Jason and the reader fighting before the reader is hurt/kidnapped.
jason todd x fem!reader. tw: creepy men, crime alley, injured reader, jason shoots people (🎶whatta mighty good man🎶)
****
"If you don't know who this is, you shouldn't be fucking calling. Leave a message after the beep or whatever."
Beeeep!
"Jay, it's me. Can we please talk? You can't ignore me forever. I want us to fix this. I—" You swallow hard. "I miss you."
You sigh, rubbing your forehead as you think of what to say. You've already left three unanswered messages. There's no more for you to say. You just want things to be fixed.
You want your best friend back.
"Okay. Call me when you can."
You hang up and pocket your phone.
The fight was stupid. Jason doesn't respond well to being pushed, but you pushed him anyway. You wanted to know where he disappeared to at night. You were sick of the secrets, of always feeling like you were three steps behind, left in the dark.
If you really cared about me, you would tell me where you go.
Jason had stilled, expression cold.
I don't owe you anything.
Your voice had turned wobbly then.
Jay, don't I mean anything to you? I want you to trust me, I want this to be a normal friendship!
He'd put on his jacket and collected the few things he left in your apartment.
You're right. You deserve normal.
You haven't spoken since. At first, you thought Jason left for a few hours to cool down. So you gave him space.
But then hours turned to days, and now it's been a full week and a half since you'd fought. Last night, you broke down and cried. This is it. You've lost him for good.
Part of you fears the reality is darker than him just leaving. You've long suspected that whatever Jason goes out to do is probably illegal since he's always out at night.
What if you're called down to the police station to identify a body?
All those things left unsaid. Jason will never know you love him.
Screw this. You're going to his apartment.
It's late. It's really late, and this is actually not the best idea to carry out at eight o'clock at night in Crime Alley. There's a reason Jason always insists on hanging out at your apartment or at a cafe.
A man whistles at you down the street. "Goin' somewhere, girlie?"
This was a bad idea. Jason might be the one who has to ID a body tonight.
You can't remember which of these apartments is his. But you can't call him. He can't know you're here, not yet.
"You shouldn't be here, lady!" a kid shouts at you from a fire escape. "He don't like new people on his turf!"
You don't take the time to figure out who the kid means. Crime Alley is known for, well, crime. The sooner you can locate Jason's apartment, the better.
A group of men light cigarettes down the road. You pause and turn around. In the process, you stumble over a garbage can.
That instantly draws their attention.
"Well, what have we here?" one jeers. "You lost, sweetie?"
You run.
You don't care if it makes you look afraid—you are afraid, and you're beyond caring. You shouldn't have come here.
You turn abruptly. You have no idea where you're going, but maybe if you act like you do, you'll throw them off. You take another turn, then another, and you look behind you to check if—
Wham!
You crash into a body. A muscled body, one that forces you backwards.
White, glowing eyes that smolder inside a red helmet meet your own.
Jason's never warned you about the Red Hood. He just tells you to stay away from the area altogether. You don't really need to be warned about Hood anyway. You know what he's about. You know you've probably just sealed your fate tonight.
"What the fuck?" he asks, modulated voice rough.
"I'm sorry," you babble. "Please don't hurt m—"
Gunshots ring out, and you realize you've just stumbled into an active gunfight. With Red Hood.
Fuck your luck.
The gunmen have spotted you, and they take great pleasure in using you as a distraction; they fire at you instead of Hood.
He shields you with his body, blocking the bullets. It works until a flash grenade is thrown, and you're separated from Hood, ears ringing. You hit the ground hard from the impact, scraping your hands and arms.
Someone's arm wraps around your neck, and you're suddenly dragged backward. You scream, scratching at the arm, and a fist thumps your head. You blink at the pain, too dazed to keep fighting.
"We had a deal, Hood!" your captor shouts, arm tightening around your neck. "Let us go or she dies!"
"Negation's over," Red Hood snarls, and shoots all four men.
You cry as the shot echoes too close to your face and for a moment, you fear you've been shot too. The now dead man slips off of you, collapsing in a heap on the ground.
Your ankle protests when you step on it. In the chaos of the fight, you hadn't realized you sprained it. You trip and fall on your butt, scrambling away from the pooling blood.
"What are you doing here?" Hood growls at you, stalking closer.
You start to cry, edging backward.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your fight, please d-don't kill me—"
You press down hard on your wrist and that hurts more than your ankle. You cry harder at the pain, grabbing your wrist.
Red Hood gets closer, and you try to scramble away with one arm and one leg. He kneels down and holds your good arm in place so you can't move.
"I'm sorry!" you say again, tears thick on your lashes.
"Fuck," Hood says roughly, and unlocks his helmet.
Your eyes widen as he pulls it off.
"J—"
"I told you to never come to this area, and you come alone, in the fucking dark, without a weapon? What the hell is wrong with you?" Jason snarls.
"Please don't yell at me," you whisper, covering your face with your hands.
You're shaking, adrenaline turning your stomach. A moment later, you throw up.
"Shit," Jason says and puts a hand on your stomach to help you sit back up. "Shit, I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."
"I thought you died," you say, daring to look at him. "You weren't answering my calls, and you only go out at night. I thought..."
Jason immediately looks avalanched by guilt. He cradles you to his chest.
"Fuck. I'm sorry. I should've—I thought it would be better, leaving."
"I didn't want you to leave," you cry, arms curling around his neck. "I love you so much, Jay. I was so scared. Don't leave me again."
Jason's breath hitches. You freeze, suddenly sure you've screwed it all up.
"Jay—"
"Y'love me?" he asks, cupping your cheek.
You nod emphatically.
"Even though I'm..." He gestures to the helmet.
"I'm just happy you're alive," you say. "I missed you so much, Jason."
His arms tighten around you. "God, I missed you too, baby. I was going crazy not talking to you. I'm sorry I ignored you. Wasn't right of me. But don't ever do this again, okay? If I hadn't been here—"
He takes a shuddering breath and kisses your neck. You nod against his shoulder.
"I promise. Just don't shut me out again, please."
Jason's quiet for a moment. You can feel him thinking.
"This isn't gonna be normal," he says. "If-if we do this. This is part of me. Who I am."
"I don't care," you say. "I love you, Jay. Every part. Whatever that entails."
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mysticheathenn · 3 months
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What's Your Sign of Encouragement?
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Hi there! I hope you all enjoy it and remember to take what resonates and leave what does not as this is a general reading. This reading does not supplement your need to go and seek actual therapy or professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
Patreon Link
YouTube Link (Start Channel1/29) Ko-Fi Donations
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Pile l:
Tarot: Knight of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, The Star (reversed), 7 of Wands. Oracle: Healing, Life Purpose, Happiness, Financial Health
"You are not in a prison" was a phrase I heard as I was shuffling your tarot cards pile 1. There is a difference between being in a prison and also being in your own way. You're causing yourself to stay stuck not ever seeing that you have the key to freedom. Your mind is holding you hostage as your soul is begging to be set free. "Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you find yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of happiness? You think it's not possible for someone like you. But you are more than deserving" - Beyonce. Some of the words I changed because she was talking about love/Jay-z from the Lemonade album but why are you so afraid of good things, boo when good things are calling for you. Open up the wounds that have hurt you and heal. Your life purpose is calling you, financial abundance is also calling you but you need to wake up. Change your mindset and ways. Stop self-sabotaging and seek some healing and therapy. I want to see you win, others want to see you win. But it all starts with you wanting to see yourself win too. I wish I could hug you pile 1, you need it the most right now but I know you got this. Keep reminding yourself that you are a star, you ARE the main character and take your time one foot after another. I know life is shit right now but see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pile ll:
Tarot: None Oracle: Answers, Finding, Home, Passion, Courage "The answers you seek are inside of you. You're looking everywhere but where you need to be looking, inside." You may be trying to find yourself looking everywhere from social media, to finding yourself in love partners, careers, etc when you should be looking inside of you. Listen to your intuition, listen to the fire that most likely has been burning inside of you but you have been ignoring it out of fear that no one will like this new version or worse maybe you won't like this new person you feel deep down inside. Do not be afraid pile ll. There is a saying that goes "Don't let the money change you, let it make you" from the iconic movie Player's Club but in the sense of this context I am saying embrace the change but don't let the change break you or turn into something that it isn't. You are meant for change, growth, and finding your sense of home this lifetime. You deserve to be at peace and comfort in not only your own skin but the people around you. Find your community, find where you belong, there are billions of people out there who are dying to meet this new version of you, but you have to be willing to show up. Your pile surprisingly didn't need any tarot only oracle cards and the messages were coming in. Have the courage pile ll. *Viola Davis Voice from the Help* You are safe. You is loved. You is welcomed. You is amazing. make that your mantra as you find your sense of home, belonging, acceptance, and self-love.
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Pile lll:
Tarot: The Magician (reversed), 10 of Wands, Knight of Wands (reversed), The Lovers, 7 of Cups Oracle: Friendship, Fertility, Boundaries, Prosperity, Strength Pile lll why are you almost always my pile with romance, friendship, or family with boundary problems, haha. Who do I need to smack for you guys because this has to stop, my guy. For some strange reason, I feel one of you said I need to smack everyone for you and I believe it. Two songs are coming in for you and that's "We're Not Going To Take It by Twisted Sisters and "Loverboy by Mickey and Sylvia both popular songs back in the day especially Lover Boy as it was in the original movie Dirty Dancing. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and you're becoming fed up with being presented bread crumbs for your relationships whether this is romantic or platonic. You want more from the people around you but you fear leaving because you feel you don't have any other options. If not other options you aren't sure if this is as good as it gets and it's not. There is always a bigger and better everything in life. As soon as you think that you have reached greatness or met the best person in the world you meet a whole new level of amazing you keep climbing from there. Just know that whatever whoever you are dealing with you have a whole community behind you waiting to help you pick up where you are and show you a whole new world. If not the current people in your life new people are coming in as well wanting to show you the better things whether it's food, clothes, community, love, career...you name it. Don't believe for a second that you don't have options because you will always have options. A few of you may have been drawn to pile 1 as well. It's okay to start over and it's okay to set boundaries. Take a deep breath and dare to do what is right for you and believe that your life is abundant in all ways possible.
That's all I have for everyone. I hope you enjoyed this reading. Until next time, stay safe and blessed.
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niningtori · 1 month
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to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter three: i'm not all bad, right?
pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you
summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.
genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)
word count: 2.1k
notes: hi friends! i don't have much to say this time around besides the fact that i just want to thank user zzhyuu for helping me edit this (´∀`)♡
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if you were to ask beomgyu if he loved his ex mere months ago, he'd say he didn't know for sure, but probably. they ended things rather messily, which seems to be a trend for him, but if he really thinks about it, he doesn't know what he liked about her after all. if he had to pinpoint it, he liked the thrill of the chase and the idea of never knowing how explosive things would inevitably get between the two of them. he liked the toxicity. he liked the idea of breaking somebody and being broken in return. only now does he understand that that wasn't love at all, but some sort of sick game of hurting and being hurt he doesn't — he can't — play anymore. he doesn't want to hurt the people around him any longer, especially not you, but it would appear that that sentiment has presented itself a little too late. 
there's always been a lot to love about you. always. you're so kind and so incredibly patient, at least with the people you love. you're thoughtful and intentional with your words and actions. you're not perfect, but you try your best to be a good and fair person. and you listen. like, really listen. the kind of listening where you're not just waiting for your turn to talk, but the kind where you genuinely want to know what the other person has to say. even if he didn't know it at the time, beomgyu always did love you. was it in the way you deserved? obviously, with the way things are now, it's perfectly clear that it was not. 
even if he does bump into you, it's completely pointless. you made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with him anymore. the last thing you said to him echoes in his head with an unspeakable viciousness. "i'm sorry you feel that way." he didn't realize just how cruel those words were until they were falling from your lips instead of his. he didn't realize just how cruel he was in general. 
he ponders over how succinctly you summed up your entire dynamic: "i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" to be honest? he doesn't understand why you had to do that, either. 
contrary to what one might suppose about him given his overall shitty personality, he had actually had a pretty good go at life. he was innately able to make the world sit and watch him go, and he wouldn't let anyone forget it. but what should he do since you don't want to watch him anymore? what should he do since you don't want anything to do with him anymore? 
as he sits in the extremely uncomfortable chair of his new least favorite bar, he's confronted by this truth over and over again. he's not completely sure why he's even here — he hates this place, but he remembers you mentioning you liked to come here. in hindsight, there's no doubt that that was a way to hint that you'd like to come with him, but what use is it to recognize it now, after all this time? 
not much, apparently. or at least that's what his conscience is telling him. he should leave, he thinks. he should stop coming here every night hoping he'll run into you because it's wrong to make you uncomfortable when you've said in no uncertain terms that you don't want him anymore. he should, he should, he should. and he will, really. in just a minute. that's what he tells himself, but he just watches the door as he drinks himself dry.
he's on the brink of literally passing out when he hears a sound he'd recognize anywhere: your laugh. he actually thinks he's hallucinating just because he wants to hear it so fucking badly, but it takes the sound of your voice to convince him it's real. you're actually here. he's incredibly drunk, so the idea of being tactful escapes him. he can't miss this chance.
-
you try, and try, and try some more, but you can't seem to forget beomgyu's last words to you. he loves you? you scoff at the idea. does he even know what love is? it doesn't feel like it. truly, it doesn't. if that's what his love feels like, you'd rather not feel it at all. 
that's what you keep trying to hammer into your head along with the idea that you're doing well. and you are doing well. seriously. things with taehyun are better than ever and you can really see yourself building a life with him. everything feels so pure and brand new. your feelings for him may lack the intensity that you felt with beomgyu, but you had known him for years. it's only fair that you nurture the love that's blossoming between the two of you while smothering out the embers of what used to be with beomgyu. it's only right, right? it should be, but the way you're so torn makes your brain hurt.
so you decide to go to your favorite bar and forget about everything for the night. it's been a long while since you've let loose and you're excited. you're surrounded by your friends and you're ready to let go. it's only when you excuse yourself to get some fresh air that you realize fate has other plans. 
when you're walking to the curb to take a seat, you feel a tug on your elbow and whip around. if there's some creep trying to get with you, there will be hell to pay. 
"who the f—" you stop dead in your tracks as your eyes meet with beomgyu's misty ones. the ones you used to love so much. 
"hey," he says weakly.
"what do you want?" you ask venomously while harshly yanking your elbow from his grasp. his lips purse and even in the dim lighting outside of the bar, you can see his eyes water even more. he's always been such a baby when he's drunk. 
"i just wanna talk," he pleads. he sounds so out of it and looks so pathetic you almost feel bad for him. almost.
"i have nothing to say to you," you reply coldly. 
"but i do." he sounds desperate to a degree that you sincerely never thought you'd hear.
"what, are you gonna tell me you love me again?"  you retort with a roll of your eyes. you're obviously being sarcastic, but all he can think in his drunken state is how pretty your eyes shine, even when they're impatient to look away from him.
"if you're not gonna say anything, i'm leaving —" you snap, turning away, but beomgyu is awoken from his daze and gently pulls you back.
"n-no! i mean, yes. i love you, b-but that's not what i wanted to say."
"well, what did you want to say?" you ask, tone laced with annoyance. seeing that you'll actually give him a chance to hear him out, he scrambles to pull out his phone. you're confused for a few seconds before he pulls up his notes app and you see an alarmingly huge chunk of text. what the fuck?
"i-i wrote this for you," he says tremblingly — so anxious that the hand that holds his phone is visibly shaking. you cock your eyebrow when he clears his throat and begins.
"i was so, so inconsiderate of how you felt, and didn’t treat you with a lot of respect as a person, let alone as a partner. i didn't understand how hurt you would be by the things i did or didn't do. in a way, i still don't think i understand just how fully how i treated you affected you. especially when you were so hurt by me. especially when you’d hold onto those feelings for so long, whether you wanted to hold them or not. it's unbelievable to me that you stayed with me for as long as you did, a-and it’s a testament to your willpower, your resolve, and how much you really do — or did — love me. i don’t think i ever appreciated your love like i do now. i... i don’t know if i appreciate it fully even as i write this. 
when i last saw you, i thought you were being cruel, but looking back, i can’t blame you. i can only admire you for not being worse, actually. roles reversed, i definitely would have been. i-i'm starting to understand how you must have felt, and why you probably want me to feel how you felt in the past. i know you think i am the one who owes you, and i do. i really owe you a lot. i owe you more than you ever asked me for.
so i want to make it up to you. i really do. and i'm hoping that i can really change. i'm – i just miss you so much i can't stand it anymore. i-if you don’t feel the same way, or don’t care, or however it is, i understand. but i meant it when i said i love you, and i mean it now when i say that i'm so, so incredibly sorry," his voice cracks as he finishes and hot tears threaten to find their way down his face. 
"beomgyu..." you begin, not really sure what to say. what can you say? and any hope he has of being with you is almost extinguished when he sees how much you pity him in this moment, but he'll hold on for as long as you'll let him.
"you said you saw the real me. you know i'm not all bad, right? i'm a piece of shit, but i can't be all bad," he pleads, tears now streaming unabashedly from his eyes. maybe if he can just find the right words, you won't leave him.
"beomgyu," you sigh, "i've never thought that about you. i know you're not all bad," his face perks up at this and he's tempted to bury his face in your neck and sob in pure relief. the pain he's been feeling for the past few months is about to be over because you understand him. always have. even though he's like this, you can still see the good in him. just the thought alone is enough to fill him with pure ecstasy. he goes to close the distance between the two of you to pull you into his embrace, but you gently place your hand on his chest before he can come any closer.
"thank you for telling me how you feel, beomgyu, but if you think you can fix everything with a few words from your notes app, you're delusional." his face crumbles at this and a sense of panic and dread pools in his stomach.
"w-what? b-but you said —" 
"i know you're sorry and i know you'd probably try to make it up to me if i let you, but that's not enough. you really hurt me, okay? and it's just, you know, i'm finally happy now. and i have taehyun. i really like him, beomgyu. and he really likes me," you say with a fond smile, as if you're thinking of taehyun right now, and his heart shatters into a million pieces. the former him would probably be throwing a tantrum right now, but he said he'd change for you, so he says what you'd never expect him to.
"it's okay," he smiles bitterly, tears still flowing freely. "i... i understand. i just want you to be happy. i want you to be so happy. you deserve it."
"but..."
"go back in," he sniffs. "you don't need to stay here with me anymore." he swipes at his eyes with his sleeve and tries to send you off with a smile, but it's so forlorn you wish he'd just keep frowning.
"... okay." you turn away, and even though he told you to do it, he can't help but feel an even bigger lump in his throat now that you're actually listening to him.
"beomgyu?" you say softly, before you enter the door. 
his damned heart can't help but flutter again against his will. 
"yes?" 
"don't wait for me anymore, okay?" how are you so cruel but so merciful at the same time? he should say okay, but the ugly and selfish part of him refuses to lie, so he just shakes his head and waves you off. his love is ugly and his heart is broken, but it's still yours to have. 
"I'm sorry," he murmurs again to nobody but himself as you enter the bar.
notes pt. 2: the next chapter will be the final chapter. it will probably be relatively short, so keep that in mind. anyway, feedback is always appreciated :)
masterlist
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cassiopeiasdaughter · 9 months
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Hi darling,
I hope you’re good. Honestly, I’m astounded by the loveliness of your work. Your writing is so seamless and beautiful, and your ideas are alluring.
I hope you’re okay if I flood your inbox with requests soon.
I’d love to see what you can concoct for a Draco fic in my head. It’s such a shame we never got to deeply explore this character and his potential. So, here’s a hypothetical scenario: the reader is a muggleborn Gryffindor and a member of Golden Trio (or in this case, quartet). When she’s captured by the Snatchers and tortured by Bellatrix at Malfoy Manor, will Draco step up against his family to protect her?
I would love to see your take on this🤍
all too well
Draco Malfoy x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of torture and dissociation, swearing !not proofread! (Obvi), English isn't my first language so excuse the mistakes 🤍
thank you for this idea, I tried my best ❤️
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"What else did you take?", the woman shouts.
She has been screaming like this for minutes, hours, days. You don't remember how long you have been laying on the marble floor, how many times the cruciatus curse has hit you.
You don't remember where you are or who the woman is.
She has black curly hair and an angry face that resembles Andromedas if you look close enough.
She points her knife at you, plays with it in front of you to scare you; when she gets bored or annoyed she hits you, with curses that make your whole body tremble and burn.
The room is spinning, the tall walls seem to keep growing taller and you constantly have to fight to keep your eyes open and search for the light.
The floor hurts your head as the woman throws you around; "How did you get it" she keeps asking," what else" , she shouts.
Your brain can't form the answer she demands, and your eyes can't help but let tears fall.
As you look away you make out more faces.
Three people, two of them looking at you with a strict face, you deserve this, the say without having to speak, it is written all over their eyes.
One of them however looks at you with a scared face, his eyes tremble as they scan your body, not entirely sure what he is looking for. He knows you are hurt, he knows he can't help you, but he keeps looking, doesn't let you go, he stays with you.
You stare into his eyes, cold and silver, burning you with one look. His hands hold his wand with a tight grip, turning his knuckles white.
Who are you, you wonder. You must be important, you think to yourself; you feel important.
Please remember him, you beg yourself. The woman keeps screaming, keeps hurting you but you can only focus on him.
"Draco", the other woman whispers.
Draco.
And with that you remember everything.
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Many years ago, when you didn't have to run for your life and survive in the woods;
When home was the red and golden common room, and your three best friends;
When the only things that bothered you were Ron stealing food from your plate and History of Magic class lasting way too long;
you had fallen in love
It was doomed from the start, you knew that of course. You were a muggleborn witch and he was a Malfoy, a pureblooded purist Slytherin; how could it ever work out between the two of you?
You remember the first few years, how his constant insults at you and your friends left you fuming and screaming.
You relive quidditch matches, how sure of himself he was before every match and how he would look at you with a sneer after losing to you.
You can still hear his annoying comments during class or before duels. Shut up Malfoy, you used to shout at him
"Shut up.", you mumble as you remember your past and the woman hits you with another curse.
Then your thoughts take you back to last year.
Draco Malfoy had gotten taller over the summer, his hair had also grown he had dropped his usual sleeked-back look that you mocked. You always knew he was handsome, like you also knew he was a shallow asshole. He was more quiet though, didn't seem to pay attention to his friends or to his teachers.
You would often find him alone; walking in the corridors with a skeptical look on his face.
One particular night you caught yourself tossing and turning in your bed. You were afraid; afraid that you wouldn't be able to save your parents or your friends from Death Eaters. You felt sorry for Harry, you wanted to help him carry the burden that was forced on him all those years ago.
School was also stressing you out, and all these thoughts formed a heavy burden that sat on your chest every night. So you decided to give up hopes of sleep and dreaming and let your feet carry you down the dark and quiet corridors.
That same night you spotted Draco Malfoy rushing somewhere on his own.
You don't remember why but you decided to follow him; maybe it wasn't exactly a decision that you made, but more of a pull that you felt.
You recall walking and turning, going up stairs and getting lost in the hallways.
As you turned one more time, you were met with two angry gray eyes looking at you intensely.
"Why are you following me?", he said.
"Where are you going?", you replied as you raised your wand.
Quickly accuses started flying out of your mouth, "Harry was right, you are with them.", you remember screaming at him and then flying backwards from a spell he cast on you.
“Shut up.” He shouts “You have no idea what is happening.”
"Are you helping them? Do you have any idea what you are doing?" you continued screaming as you stood up.
You remember then how he dropped to the floor and caged his face with his hands.
"I don't know what to do. I don't have another choice." he kept repeating more to himself than to you.
Up to that point Draco Malfoy was to you a spoiled rich wizard, who couldn't see past his privilege and his family's name.
He was cruel to your friends and a blood purist. He was a Death Eater.
But the way he looked now; like a helpless boy made you realize how little say he had in his life.
You knelt down next to him and said softly "Why don't you tell Dumbledore, maybe he can help?".
He laughed mockingly at that and replied "Dumbledore can't save anyone, let alone me."
You stayed in silence kneeling next to him for minutes, trying to think of a way out.
"Malfoy" you broke the silence "Whatever you are doing for them, delay it."
He raised his head and looked at you.
"Delay it, until we find a way to fix this.", you finished
"Why would you even bother and help me? They want to kill people like you; they-", he said but didn't finish
they are killing people like me you finished in your head for him.
For a few moments you couldn't say anything; he was right. You should just go to Dumbledore and tell him everything; let him deal with that, but you couldn't leave him alone.
You couldn't refuse help to the person who needed it the most. Even if he would never ask for it; perhaps that was precisely why.
"It's the right thing, isn't it? Someone has to do it.", you exclaimed
"How very Gryffindor of you." he said with a roll of his eyes and then out of nowhere "Thank you."
"You have to work with me, trust me; in order for this work.", you said and he agreed.
With that began secret meetups and words of comfort.
You weren't enemies or friends. You were a team.
You were the person that helped him through everything, the one who listened when he cried and offered him a shoulder to lean on when everything broke down.
It was strange at first; but it was the right thing to do, and you were brought up to do just that.
You quickly learned that his company was nice; he was nice.
He could be funny when he wanted to and you found out that you had a lot in common.
“Why do you act so different in front of everyone?”, you asked him once.
“Different how?”, he asked back
“Like an emotionless selfish dick” you replied easily “When in reality, you care and protect those you love.”
“Sod off” he said and then “Even if that were true, I suck miserably at it.”
“The protecting or the caring part?”, you asked with a calm voice
He looked at you then with a curious look before turning away and sighing “Both.”
"Both." you whisper now and he can barely hear it.
"What?" the woman shouts, thinking you have an answer to her questions.
"What?", you remember shouting at him when he revealed his plan to you; their plan to kill Dumbledore and attack the school.
"Be quiet!.", he insisted, you could tell by his eyes he was distraught too; he didn't want this- didn't want any of it.
"I did everything I could to slow it down, I shouldn't even be telling you this; they will kill us both.", he muttered as every flicker of hope inside him was dying out.
"I am telling you this to protect you, win you some time, go.", his eyes were ice cold, piercing through you and his hands were griping your arms tightly; almost shaking you.
You couldn't say anything; you remember feeling as if everything he had just told you was fake. Dumbledore couldn't die, Draco wouldn't kill him, he couldn't.
And Hogwarts, your home for all those years, couldn't be attacked by them. It was the safest place on Earth.
Until it wasn't.
That was the last conversation you had with him. After that you weren't sure you would ever see him again.
You followed Harry; of course you did, you couldn't leave him alone, not after everything he'd been through and everything you witnessed together.
You thought about Draco often; mostly at night when everyone was asleep and nature kept you company; you stared into the night sky and tried to find his constellation.
You thought you could talk to him that way; "I am alright" you would say "Are you?" you always asked.
But no answer came.
You would replay every interaction, every conversation. You tried to remember his features; the exact grey of his eyes and his blonde hair. His look when he smiled (which wasn't often) and the way he played with his wand when he wanted to avoid your eyes.
Nothing ever happened between the two of you; nothing physical at least. Because the safe haven you two built had to have meant something.
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Everything fell apart when you were caught.
You were alone and hurting; your friends were at best locked up somewhere and you couldn't think of a way out.
You couldn't think.
All you could feel was pain; everywhere
And then you saw Draco and every interaction; every feeling started playing again inside your head. You began living every moment from when you met him up to your last conversation.
"Go!" that is what he said to you then.
It was unbearable; you kept losing him over and over again, the story kept replaying and you couldn't pause it.
You couldn't stop and marvel at the good moments.
The way he held your hand when he needed comfort but didn't know how to ask for it;
Or his laugh when you both remembered your early years; how you both knew nothing, weren't prepared for the nightmare that would follow.
"Make it stop.", you heard his voice say and it took you back to third year and his constant complaining during Care of Magical Creatures.
"Stop.", his voice said again, closer now. “She clearly doesn’t know anything, we are wasting our time.” He kept repeating.
It is real, you realized, it isn't your memories or your fantasy, it is him.
As you move your head to get a closer look at him you hear footsteps getting close.
You hear your friends and then realize they aren’t alone, they’ve got help. We might survive this, a voice inside tells you.
All that hope crumbles down as the woman, Bellatrix you remember, grabs you and points her wand at you.
“No one moves.” She says slowly; her eyes wide open scanning the faces of everyone.
She doesn’t see Draco though, who shoots a Bombarda at her and quickly runs to your side.
His parents stand still and shocked, his fathers eyes darkening as time passes.
“What have you done?” He asks him and then Bellatrix gets up to start running towards you.
It’s chaos; what happens next. Spells shooting everywhere, wands flying out of hands. You can’t keep your eyes open for a long time, can't keep yourself up, you feel hands; his hands holding you tightly, never letting you fall.
And then you all land somewhere before the world darkens.
You can hear waves crashing into the shore and the smell of salt air fills your lungs.
You open your eyes slowly and let out a hiss as you feel pain everywhere.
Sprawled out and asleep on a chair in the corner of the room you see Draco and then your eyes land on Harry sleeping next to you.
You wake him up with a gentle nudge on his head and he smiles.
“What happened?” You ask.
He needs a few minutes to fully wake up and grasp the fact that you really are awake and alright.
“It was a bloody nightmare, but you’re awake now. I’ll go get Ron and Hermione. We have been taking turns watching you.” He says in a rush and gets up
“Wait, what is he doing here?” You asked
“He helped, hasn’t left your side since, didn’t bother with his injury without healing you first.”, Harry said not amused at first but then a sincere look painted his face.
“You have a lot of explaining to do” he warned “but later”
You just watched him exit the room and tried to process what he had just said to you.
“Potter is always loud then”, said Draco sarcastically and his voice made you jump a little. “Sorry.”
You couldn’t say anything back to him, you couldn’t even believe he was there.
He stood up and made slow strides to get close to you, until he reached your bed and sat at the spot near your feet.
You saw then the injury Harry was talking about, he had bandages starting from his shoulder tightly wrapped around it and ending down to his chest.
“What happened?” You say softly and point at the white bandages.
He let out a laugh at that “Unbelievable.” He exclaimed.
“What” you said annoyed, your eyebrows raised in a funny way that reminds him of arguments in classes and loud corridors.
“It’s” he stammered “You” and as he stared at your face with a look filled with adoration he said “Nothing.”
He swallowed loudly and explained with an amused look on his face “Got stabbed with a knife, by lovely aunty Bella.”, he pointed at the spot under his shoulder, close to his heart.
And then you remember the Manor, his aunt; Bellatrix and the questions.
Your face darkened at that and your body started shaking lightly- you hadn’t realized until you felt Draco’s hand on your shoulder rubbing lightly “You are okay, we are safe here.”
“We?” You asked and felt tears running down your cheeks “How- why are you here? What have you done?”
He smiled at you and replied “You said so yourself. I protect the ones I love.”
“I just wish I was better at it. Fix my timing and all.” He joked at the end
You really started crying then and felt him getting closer “I am sorry I didn’t do anything sooner, I should have stopped her. I am sorry.”
You felt yourself staining his shirt with your tears but couldn’t bring yourself to stop or talk; couldn’t say anything to comfort him. So you only shook your head it’s fine now, you are here.
You felt his tears falling on your head and held him closer.
The past didn't matter right now; your friends reaction could wait and the War would be won, you were sure of it.
Now, you would figure it out together; just like before.
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bonus:
-So, how much longer do we have to stand here and watch- that?
-As long as we have to Ronald, be quiet now!
fin
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So, um as usual I am deeply sorry for any mistakes!
Also, this was very out of my comfort zone and I am not mad about it at all, I just hope it lives up to your expectations a tiny bit and I also hope you enjoyed it.
Till next time
xx
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httpswritings · 3 months
Text
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cinnamon girl — Katie McCabe x Reader
Warnings: mentions of surgery, anesthesia, anxiety and clowns.
Word count: 970
Summary: Comforting Katie as she has to face one of her biggest fears.
A/N: Based on this request <3
“There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live”
“I can't! I can't do it because I'm scared... I've been scared all week because just the thought of anesthesia makes me want to throw up.”
Katie. Funny, extroverted, and entertaining.
Everyone always had a good laugh when they were around her.
Confident, strong, and optimistic.
That's the main idea people had about her.
Only her closest circle knew that, behind the shell of being an outgoing and charismatic woman, a vulnerable and sensitive Katie was found.
You had been discovering this aspect of her as she let you get to know her better.
Always being cautious with who she would open to, she knew that she could trust you but still didn't want to show her truest self as she was worried of scaring you.
“But if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did”
You hugged her in absolute silence for half an hour. Only the sounds of the street and your breathing filled the room.
You softly shushed Katie when she apologized to you for shouting at you.
Her breathing began to slow down as she sighed and leaned on your chest.
“You don't have to pretend to be fine, Katie. Anesthesia's not a big deal for me, but it is for you, the same way clowns are funny to you and I'm frightened just by thinking of them.
Katie giggled as she remembered the time when you hid behind her as a kid dressed up in a clown costume approached you on Halloween.
“What I mean, baby, is that you can open up to me. I'm here for you. I'll probably won't be able to be next to you when your surgery takes place, but I'll be outside of the room thinking about you. If, when you're there, you feel like you can't calm yourself down, think about me and focus only on those thoughts. Imagine me being next to you, holding your hand, and telling you how much I love you and how proud I am of you for going through this, because that's how I feel. The proudest girlfriend ever knowing my brave girl is going to do great.”
-
“Hold me, love me, touch me, honey, be the first who ever did”
Katie couldn't stop looking at you. It's just as if she stopped doing it, you'd disappear.
Her hand was tightly holding yours.
You could see her eyes were holding tears back.
Her glazed expression was concerning.
“Darling, you're going to be okay. Thankfully, they've let me stay in this room during the whole procedure, so I'll be waiting for you to take care of you just the way you deserve. When you wake up, you'll have a precious bucket of lilies adorning your room. I'll go buy them when I certainly know that the operation is over, so don't worry about me being far away when you're still going under surgery.”
-
Katie remembered your previous words. «Imagine me holding your hand. Focus on me and only me. Me. Me. Me. You're safe, Katie. I'm right here.» She noticed the syringe piercing her skin.
You noticed how Katie's body tensed, so you rushed to caress her cheek. «Katie, it's okay. I'm here, baby. Focus on me. You're safe.»
She kept looking at you and hearing your encouraging words until the anesthesia started to do its work.
She began to lose consciousness with you easing her nervousness until she completely dozed off.
-
You were with her during the whole surgery. You couldn't deny that you were nervous, listening to the surgeons give orders to their assistants.
Seeing your girlfriend so vulnerable overwhelmed you with a feeling of protectiveness.
«You're doing great, Katie. I'm so proud of you, darling.» You thought as if she could read your mind.»
When the surgeons told you that the procedure was over, you kissed Katie on the forehead and went to buy the lilies you had promised her.
-
Katie began to wake up, and just as you had promised her earlier, a beautiful bucket of lilies accompanied her in the room, with you caressing her hair and softly smiling at her.
“Hello, sleepy girl.“
She smiled as she opened and closed her eyes, blinking in slow motion.
“How did it go?”
“Shh... It went well, baby. How do you feel?”
She tried to settle into the bed, but you stopped her.
“Darling, don't do that. Let's wait until the doctor comes so we can know if it's okay for you to sit down.”
She whined, but obeyed.
“I feel okay. I feel a little bit dizzy and as if I have a cold. My stomach feels weird, but I'm hungry.”
Katie looked around the room, noticing the bucket of lilies.
“Your promise...”
Her amused tone warmed your heart.
“Yes, my love. I always keep my promises. Do you like them?” you said referring to the flowers.
“Of course I do. They're so beautiful.”
“They are. They're not the most beautiful thing in this room, but they're pretty decent.”
She looked confused for a second until she realized what you meant.
“I don't look beautiful,” she said, laughing ironically, still with a soft tone due to the anesthesia.
“Look is not the correct word. You are beautiful. No matter the circumstances.”
She rolled her eyes and tried to stabilize herself, as that movement made her dizziness stronger.
“I don't have the strength to fight you, but you know—” She stopped talking as she looked at you.
As she regained more consciousness, she realized you were there and what that meant to her.
“Thank you, my love. Thank you for being here, and thank you for understanding me.”
You kissed her head and caressed her cheek.
“I'm so proud of you, Katie. So, so proud. Not only have you faced your fear, but you still take your time to be grateful.”
You both exchanged a look that showed nothing but pure admiration for each other, making that hospital room brighten up with your love.
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filmbyjy · 4 months
Text
HAMSTER HEESEUNG (2)
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— main HYBRID masterlist
SUMMARY: how do you stop your heart beating erratically whenever heeseung stands close to you? should you even be letting him into your knowing your traumatic past with relationships.
WORD COUNT: 0.95K words
WARNINGS: mentions of past toxic relationship (the guy used to hurt you), shy shy heeseung
NOTE: AHHH this took too long🥲 this has been in my drafts since Feb 2023 so uhh yeah. the HYBRID series is still going to have slow updates as i am trying my best to write whenever i can. i believe my time will definitely be taken up more once i get my internship. hope you enjoyed this chapter though!!
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after you had shortly left heeseung in the kitchen, you had turned on the air-conditioning. you could feel your heart racing quickly.
what should I do? plan? I should create a plan to make it seem like I am a good owner while somehow keeping distance with heeseung
“i think the water is overflowing." heeseung says. your eyes widened. you quickly ran to the kitchen and turned the fire off. the water simmering down as you let out a breath.
"i'm so sorry, i should have turn off the fire." heeseung's head drops. you sighed and went to touch his hair. your hands making contact with his ears. it twitches when you touched it.
"it's alright. i should have remembered to turn it off." the boy looks up at you and your heart drops when you noticed his glossy eyes. you instantly pulled him into a hug.
"hey, it's alright. it's not your fault."
"i just don't want to mess things up. i'm scared that you might not want me anymore." he sniffles. you ran your hand up and down his back to calm him down and you could feel him loosen up and finally wrap his arms around your waist.
"i'm not going to leave you, heeseung." you whisper. heeseung hides his face further into your neck and you blushed.
okay maybe there was no way out of this so you guess this was the only route to follow. you were going to allow heeseung into your heart.
"really?" he says.
"of course."
“thank you. you’re the first owner to say that.” heeseung mumbles quietly.
how dare those people…
“those people don’t deserve you. you’re strong for having to go through all the hardships.”
“t-thank you.” he says.
as you placed heeseung at arm’s length, you noticed the stray tears that fell onto his cheeks. you had reached up and wiped them away.
“I’ll be your guardian from now on. I’ll protect you and give you the love you deserve after all those horrible years.”
heeseung sniffles, his doe eyes staring back at you. “I’m a little scared b-but I’ll try.”
“you dont have to completely warm up to me, you can slowly do it. I understand it’s hard for you.” you say in the sweetest tone.
heeseung hums, “okay. I can try.”
you turned your head to look at the ramyeon. “ah right, the ramyeon. it’s probably too soft to eat now, I’ll just whip up a new batch. why don’t you go sit in the sofa for a bit?”
he didn’t move, it was almost like his legs were frozen. he shakes his head. “don’t wanna leave.”
“okay, then. you can stay and watch me. just sit at the table right there.”
he nods and sits there. despite him being a hamster hybrid, he sure acts like an obedient puppy. his ears twitch once the water starts boiling and you started making some fried eggs to add into the ramyeon. he looked excited, almost about to jump out of his seat as he waits for the food in anticipation.
you had plate the ramyeon and then placed it in front of him. “there. enjoy.” you smiled.
heeseung digs in, he hastily eats it since he was hungry. he chews on it, filling his cheeks with noodles. his cheeks round and rosy, just as he opens to speak, he starts to hicup. you hand him a cup of water so he could digest his food with.
“eat slowly, you’ll choke.” heeseung hums at your words. he eats slowly just like you said.
and then, the doorbell rang. his freezes, his heartbeat growing quicker.
“I’ll get the door, don’t worry and just eat.” you had reached up to give him a pet as you noticed his scared and confused look. he leans into your touch. you made your way to the door and just as you opened it, you heard a familiar voice that made you freeze.
“open the door. i know you're there.”
it sounded demanding. scary. you knew exactly who it was.
“w-who is that?” heeseung’s small voice appears next to you.
“oh umm…that’s my ex-boyfriend. we can just ignore him.” just as you finished your words, your ex-boyfriend pounds on the door. it startles both you and heeseung. the poor hamster boy clenches his fist.
“he’s scary. are you sure he’s not going to break down the door.”
“he might at this rate. how about you stay in my room, okay? it’s the one to the left with some fake leaves on the wall.”
“okay.” heeseung shyly says. he goes over to your bedroom and you breathed in before opening the door. your ex-boyfriend, minjun, was halfway about to pound on the door again.
“what do you want?” you asked him.
“you weren’t answering and I was worried.” minjun nonchalantly says as he folds his arms.
“we aren’t together anymore so why should you care?”
"we aren't together?" it was like a dark cloud loomed over him, he smirks and steps closer towards you. "what do you mean we aren't together anymore, baby? we never broke up, unless i said we could."
your heart rate accelerates quickly, his hands ready to reach up and hit you as he always had during the toxic relationship. however, before he could even lay a hand on you, someone grabs his arm and towers over him.
it was heeseung
he had come to save the day. something weird about it was, there was no sign of the kind and shy heeseung behind his dark and scary eyes. all that was left was rage, anger and a murderous glint. it kinda scared you a little, what happened to the cute and adorable hamster boy?
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taglist[open]: @nyfwyeonjun @luvkait @hello-stranger24 @cowsidfk @tzuyusluv @beans-and-jeanes @andromedawillburryyou @belovedxiao @thefangirloncrack @annoyingbitch83 @jswnnie @byu @rosabella1009 @jihoon-is-my-angel @stinkoscope @60astrophile27 @ira-sumi @whoiss4m @enhypen-scholarship @enhapocketz @sweetjaemss @hees-gf-ela @haerinism @llyunall @bekiss-world @Haze-hh @mitchikeli @ajayke-reads @yanagisprettygf @iamliacamila
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baratiddyappreciator · 5 months
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Dating Jack HCs
I've gotta do some more writing for my fav because I love him so much and he deserves more, just in general. NSFW included, because I would do THINGS to this man and I know some people would too, so Minors DNI.
Big appetite, but he's not picky. He'll eat pretty much anything you give him with little to no hesitation. Trying to do some baking and you're not sure if you added too much sugar? Just give him a spoonful of the batter and he'll tell you, flat out. He is partial to foods that he grew up familiar with, since it's what he knows best, so making him a good hearty meal. Steak and vegetables are a popular choice for him, but a nice chicken pot pie with bread is something that will have him melting.
He's not entirely helpless in the kitchen himself, but he's not really good at doing much. He can cook something the way he likes, and he can make basic things, but more advanced meals usually wind up either a bit burnt or a little undercooked. He's got an odd affinity for pancakes and waffles though. Get him to make you some and they're the softest, fluffiest pancakes and waffles you've ever tasted.
He's not really a movie or book guy, if he's bored, he'll go work out or exercise, but he does push things too far sometimes and give in to letting himself relax for a bit to let his body recover before he starts pushing himself again. This is your chance to make him enjoy your favourite pieces of media with you. You matter a lot to him, so he'll pay attention, actively participating by asking questions. He'll look at you with all the love in the world in his eyes, when you're talking about it.
On the other hand, if you take an interest in his past, in Goudou, he'll fall for you and fall for you HARD. You want him to teach you how to do something he cares about? He's putty in your hands for the entire duration. He doesn't expect you to push yourself as hard as he pushes himself, but he will push you to do your best. It stops when you say that you're done, or until he thinks you're not able to keep going.
He's not really one for physical intimacy, but with you, that starts to change. He likes holding your hand while the two of you are walking. He likes putting his hands on your shoulders while you're just standing around doing something, be it waiting in line or just standing around. After the first year of being together, he'll do whatever you want him to. Need him to pick you up so you can look at something on a top shelf? Absolutely, no hesitation, you let him know if you want to come down because he'll just assume you want to be up there for the rest of the time you're there.
He's rough and clumsy about affection at first simply because he's not sure of what you're wanting. His jaw is stiff when you kiss him, his hugs are a bit too firm or too loose, he doesn't really hold your hand, more like cupping it. Until he gets more comfortable, his affection remains lukewarm. You know the second that it just clicks for him, because all of a sudden he's just there, his hugs are tight and warm, he hold your hands properly. He's just so warm with his affection.
Please remember that this man is both blonde and pasty, because he won't put on sunscreen unless you ask, and he WILL get burnt. Will he complain about it? No, but you'll know he's miserable because he'll be moving very carefully, like everything hurts (because it does). Get some aloe and make this man sit down, he'll fall asleep before you get even half way done.
Holding his hands is a fantastic thing. His entire hand engulfs yours, you can feel all the little scars and calluses on his palms and fingers, and if you really pay attention you can feel his pulse. Laying on his chest is something else entirely, because all you can hear is his breathing and his pulse.
NSFW upcoming, if you're a minor then get lost??? We don't want you here?? Annoying ass kid, goddamn.
I love my man, my sweet little blorbo, I'm going to chew on him in a sexy way.
You can't really tie him up, because sometimes he'll get a bit too excited, either the restraints or the furniture you've tied him to will break, but he encourages you to try. If you're not one to take the risk on that, then just tell him to grab the headboard. He'll grab it and he won't let go until you're done.
RIDE! 👏HIM! 👏 RIDE HIM! He teases you when he's on top, but when you're riding him, he just goes dumb, it's like his brain leaks out of his ears, he'll lay there and watch you like you're an actual diety as you use him for your pleasure, and he encourages you to do so, because then he's assured that whatever is done is something that you want.
He doesn't really have any specific fetishes beyond biting and a strong breeding kink, so he's happy to try out whatever you like. The only think he is staunchly against is a daddy kink. Don't call him daddy, that will immediately kill the mood. The only other thing he has a problem with is him being the bottom. He's big, and him letting himself being that vulnerable takes a lot of trust.
Biting him while having sex just drives him fucking WILD, even if it's just a nibble. The second your teeth touch his skin it's game on, he'll have you pinned to the mattress faster than you can blink, though you're not really going to be processing much more than that until he finishes with you.
He makes it painfully obvious when he's thinking about getting you in bed, he'll stare right through your soul (before he fucks it out of you) and hover around you. The best way to get him to say fuck it and fuck you is to wear one of his sweaters... And not much else. Laying on the couch reading a book? Not anymore, he's got your legs over his shoulders, and you're seeing white.
Everything about this man is big. Big hands, big arms, big tits, and a big dick. He's got a girthy thirteen incher, and it is veiny, curves upwards at just the right angle to make you go insane. He knows he's big, and he's not the kind of guy to force something to fit, so he won't even try to push his cock into you until he knows you're ready.
This man is incredibly pliant to what you want to do. Something you can do is just walk up to him while he's laying down, push his head back and ride his face. He won't complain, he'll just get to work on you. Fuck his throat or his tongue, he won't care, he'll be in bliss. That mouth may be intimidating, but it works wonders.
He's got such big, thick fingers, they're perfect to ride. Just reach over and grab his hand, he'll let you use them, anything for his love. If you need him, you can have him, subtle or not. Grind on his thigh to take the edge off, or drag him off to a bathroom to have him take the edge off.
He's got that really big scar right across his front, and it cuts really close to one of his nipples. You'll find that one is a lot more sensitive than the other, and trust me, they are sensitive. There's not much you can do to phase him, but playing with his chest is one way to get him riled up.
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eddysocs · 2 months
Text
Smut Dialogue Prompts
You may mix and match these prompts with ones on the same or different prompt lists you find on my blog when making requests. Context for the prompt(s) is always welcomed and encouraged, but not required.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
"Your voice does things to me. I just thought you should know that."
"I know you're technically my instructor..."
"I dreamed of your legs wrapped around my waist."
"Don't act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago."
"We should probably leave, before we start a scandal."
"My tongue still remembers the way you taste."
"I want to count every one of your freckles with my lips."
"I know I should ask why you're naked in my bed, but I just want to enjoy it for a moment."
"Maybe you could use that mouth for more than just talking nonsense."
"Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same."
"You look so cute when you're all disheveled."
"Well, how do you like my outfit?" "You're hardly wearing anything."
"I’ve never seen you look at me like that before."
"Don’t deny me what’s mine."
"Let me take care of you, yeah? I'll do the work."
"My God, you're so fucking gorgeous like this."
"Can I- can I please touch myself?"
"Wanna see how you look when you come undone under me."
"I'll make you feel good, I promise. Just trust me."
"I wanna taste you on my lips again."
"Wanna feel you against me."
"Clothes on or clothes off?"
"Mmm, always so impatient for me, aren't you?"
"Do I turn you on that much?"
"I don't think I'm gonna last long if you keep doing that."
"Need I remind you on what happened last night?"
"Lift your hips up for me."
"You’re so hot when you're bossy."
"Tell me if it becomes too much, okay?" "Okay."
"Are we— are we really going to do this here?"
"Eyes on me at all times, sweetheart."
"I want you in the most sinful ways possible."
"You like messing with my head, don't you?" "Only because it clearly turns you on."
"You'd sound so good begging for it."
"Getting you naked was just the first part of my plan for the night."
"You're wearing way too many clothes for what I have in mind."
"There's just something so extremely irresistible about a uniform..."
"You should keep the boots on."
"Maybe I should wake you up like this more often."
"We still have a few minutes left. You think you can manage?"
"Tell me if the collar is too tight."
"You’re such a good girl."
"We’re in the middle of a restaurant, what are you doing?"
"I’m trying to drive here."
"I love the way you touch me."
"Are you saying this doesn’t turn you on?"
"You know you want it."
"I’m not sure you could handle me."
"Please, I need you. Now."
"I like it when you say my name like that."
"I’m going to be late because you can’t keep it in your pants."
"Shut up and take your pants off."
"Don’t stop. Whatever you do, please don’t stop."
"I’m not hurting you, am I?"
"This can be our little secret."
"On your knees."
"I’ve thought about it before. You know, being with you like this."
"You look so good with your head between my legs."
"What would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?"
"Let me worship you the way you deserve."
"It’s been such a long time."
"Turn around. I want to try something."
"Try not to ruin your manicure when you dig those nails into my back."
"Are you sure there’s enough room to do this in a hospital bed?"
"You don’t have anything on under that, do you?"
"Take me to bed or lose me forever."
"Keep this up and I’ll become a sex addict."
"You’ve been playing hard to get all night."
"I love it when you dress up for me."
"I love that the sexiest woman I’ve ever met is also my best friend."
"You don’t just belong in my bed, you belong on magazine covers."
"You make sex a religious experience."
"I thought we agreed to share her."
"I’m afraid I can no longer remain professional."
"I think I’ve made my intentions clear."
"I shouldn’t allow myself to get so close to you."
"I thought maybe we could do a little more than kissing this time."
"Oh my god, you’re naked." "Look all you like. I don’t mind."
"Mmm, good morning to you too."
"I want you." "Then have me."
"You’re not taking me to bed. Ever." "Who said it had to be a bed?"
"Would you reconsider if I were sober?"
"I'm not wearing any panties."
"Can’t I at least take my shoes off before you pounce on me?"
"I’m the one in charge here, silly girl."
"Be a good girl for mommy."
"And here I was, thinking that you were so innocent."
"Are you going to keep staring at my ass or…?"
"I want my first time to be with you."
"I can’t believe I did this again."
"Come sit on my lap, baby."
"Oh I'm sorry, did I pull too hard on the leash? What a shame."
"You enjoy being praised, don’t you?"
"Why don’t you bare that pretty neck for me?"
"I want to hike up your skirt and take you right here."
"Do you think they can hear us through the tent?" "Yes we can."
"I was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realize you weren’t alone."
"You could be wearing a trash bag and I’d still want you."
"Oh my god. Did we just break the bed?"
"Throw your morals out the window, just for tonight."
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d0g0r0t · 6 months
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Bc Toby is literally my bbg you should totally write him with an s/o who takes care of him and is just super nice to him and, it can be sfw or nsfw I don't really mind either
(I'll give you a cookie pls I'm not normal abt him༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ)
Toby x caring reader
TW: NSFW
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He wasn't really sure how to process your kindness at first. He couldn't tell if you were faking it or not
But over time when he realized you were true his heart melt
He would be supper shy and awkward around you cause you were so sweet and kind
You would do the littlest things for him and he would look at you like an angle while your doing it
Asking you for things was so easy yet so hard. He knew he could ask you for anything but he was so nervous around you.
You were just so... nice..
He didn't deserve you.. all the things he's done and he gets you? You were to good for him
He's never experienced someone like you. You reminded him of his sister and your kind nature. It made him dizzy with emotions
Even your name sounded so sweet
He would try his best to keep his tics under control PRAYING he doesn't hurt you and bruise your beautiful skin
Sometimes when you two are alone he gets really sappy. Leaning into you, digging his face in your chest, wrapping himself completely around you as your fingers run threw his thick curls
He feels bad when you do simple things for him that any human should do. Brush his hair, help him remember to take a shower or brush his teeth, cook for him
He feels like he's almost using you and he just sinks into himself but after you told him you want to he felt a little better
The moment he sees anyone get even a little rude with you he's on them like a dog, screaming and barking at them. Stepping in between you guys and growling like a protective hound.
The moment their delt with he's getting on your level and using the softest tone asking if your ok and if you need anything
He pushes his emotions back alot until he blows up. But he never snaps at you, he just can't. He'll get really needy if he does show you a bit of aggression. He's at your knees and whimpering how sorry he is for just feeling the wrong thing even tho you have no idea what he's on about
He gets really jealous when he sees you being nice to other people but doesn't step in knowing your nature and your need to care for others
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NSFW
The first time you two got intimate he was literally TREMBLING.
He was scared he might get to rough and accidentally go to far
When you guys were in bed he just stared at you for a few moments trying to process a girl like you under him like this
When he started up he was already whining and whimpering. He was shaking trying not to grip at you to harshly
But over time he has himself wrapped around you moaning in your ear as he pounds himself into you
He's fucks you at a steady pace not going to fast or to slow unless you tell him to
His hips would buck every now and again as he feels your heat squeeze his member letting out desperate whimpers
He rips the sheets from how hard his gripping them as he watches you ride him because he would rather tare the sheets then your skin
Watching you do such acts on him makes him completely red in the face and his body flush and heat up like crazy.
After he finishes he let's out a little gasped and apologizes for cumming so soon and not letting you finish
He will DESTROY his body until you cum to
He's not letting you go unsatisfied after what you've done for him
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IM SORRY IM GETTING THESE OUT SO SLOW ONFG!(#;@[*$[!%
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mixsethaddams · 1 year
Text
Throwing my hat into the latest trend of Shovel Talk posts. tw reference to past child abuse (not detailed)
Eddie gets the shovel talk from no less than five people.
Dustin, Robin, Erica, Max and Lucas. (Those two came as a pair, as they so often did since the Vecnapocolypse) Actually, technically six, if you count the fact that Dustin kept saying And Will Said...
They all say in and around the same thing. Steve deserves the world, he's been the babysitter for longer than Eddie's been the DM, blah blah blah. Honestly, Eddie's getting a little tired of people assuming he'll hurt Steve and leave him heartbroken. By the time he closed the door after saying goodbye on the final He Means More To Us Than You Do conversation, he was left in no doubt that the kids expected him to fuck up royally and they would not hesitate to choose Steve when (not if, as far as they were concerned) it happened. They would never forgive him. It was good to know where he stood, he guessed.
What Eddie didn't know, was that Steve was getting a few shovel talks of his own.
Wayne was first, obviously. Steve wasn't surprised to be pulled aside at the Byers/Hopper barbecue to listen to some very unsubtle threats about what might happen to him if Eddie came home with so much as a pout Even One Time, Boy, You Hear Me?
More surprising, was Joyce.
Joyce came by one night under the pretence of bringing by some leftover lasagne. Steve offered her a tea and they sat in the kitchen together while she asked polite questions about how things with Eddie were going. When Steve was done telling her all about the constant butterflies in his stomach, she clasped his hand gently across the table.
"I'm happy for you sweetie, I am,"
"Thanks Joy–"
"But you need to understand that Eddie is a fragile boy, and he needs real love, Steve. He's not the type to be happy with a, what do you call it, a fling? He's not the type for that,"
Steve was taken aback.
"This isn't a fling, Joyce,"
"Can you promise me that? I remember him from when he was just a kid and, god, well, I'd hate to see him hurt,"
Steve's mouth was open and closing like a fish, totally at a loss for words.
"Steve, can you promise me that? I know you're grown now and things are different, but I need you to say it for me,"
"I promise, I... I'm not who I used to be,"
Joyce patted his hand.
"Good boy. I better get home,"
And then there was Hopper.
Hopper knocked on the front door of the Harrington house early one Saturday morning, three sharp thuds on the door that made you think, Yup, Cops Are Here.
Steve answered still half asleep, barely aware he'd even pulled on a pair of sweatpants.
Hopper didn't accept the invite to come inside. He noticed Eddie's boots by the door.
"He here?"
"Uh, yeah, has been since yesterday, why? Did someone say he done something?"
"No, he's not who I'm here for,"
"What? I haven't done anything?"
"Good, and I expect you to keep it that way,"
Steve didn't know how to react. His eyes were still adjusting to the daylight and his brain hasn't quite woken up yet.
"Hop, I don't know what you're talking about,"
"El told me that you all know about the night he went to live with his uncle, says he told everyone the basics when Jon was worrying about turning out like Lonnie,"
"Yeah, he told me some more about it after too,"
"Figured he might,"
Steve shuffled from one foot to the other.
"I still don't know why you're here..."
"I was the one who carried him out of that house that night, Steve,"
"Oh,"
Oh indeed. Hopper's voice was gruff and low. Steve was actually nervous.
"I listened to him cry for hours. He couldn't breathe it was so bad. I never wanted to hear another child even speak after having to sit in the room while he told Wayne what went down,"
"I–"
"And I don't think I'll ever be able to sit right with the idea of that kid being sad again, because of someone else messing with him. I never forgot what he sounded like when he cried. Don't make me have to see him cry again, Steve. Do you understand me?"
Steve was stunned. All he could do was nod dumbly. There was no point offering any sort of defence, Hopper obviously wasn't here to listen. He was here to tell. Of all the people Steve might have thought would be on Team Munson, the former chief of police wasn't exactly top of the list. Eddie's distinct lack of criminal record through his teens might have been some indicator though.
Hopper gave Steve a curt nod and turned back down the driveway without another word.
He closed the door and leaned against the wood, letting out a low breath. Eddie appeared at the top of the stairs, rubbing his eyes.
"Baby? Who was that?"
"Uh, Hopper..."
Eddie huffed a sleepy laugh.
"Hmm, shit, Law Man swing by to make sure I was behaving myself?"
Steve went to Eddie and pulled him into a tight hug, nuzzling into his hair. He really had no clue, did he?
"He was just checking in,"
Eddie hummed and went towards the kitchen to switch the coffee pot on. He had told Steve about the shovel talks he got from the kids earlier in the week. Trivial threats about leaving Hellfire and never helping him write a song again or going to one of his shows, taking back his Walkie privileges, things that seemed like the end of the world to a group of minors. Eddie had wistfully mentioned that Steve would never have to worry about being on the receiving end of something like that, he didn't think anyone really cared enough. Maybe You'll Get A Weird Look From Wayne, But I Think You're In The Clear, Golden Boy.
Eddie had no idea about the people that were looking out for him without him realising it. It made Steve's heart hurt. He'd half expected Robin and the others to have words with Eddie. It was almost a joke, he hadn't thought twice about it because he just kind of knew it would happen. He knew they cared, and he couldn't imagine how it would feel to be so sure that they didn't. That no one did.
Steve made a promise to himself then and there to never let Eddie feel like no one cared enough ever again, giving himself his very own version of the Don't Hurt Eddie Munson shovel talk.
It was the least Eddie deserved.
(Also posted to my ao3)
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firesnap · 2 months
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I hate that I took him at his word. I remember there being a conversation during one of the wine streams where Wilbur said he would "never hurt a fly." What fucking bullshit. I looked forward to those wine streams every year even when I wasn't that into mcyt. Like I know that's a little minor thing to focus on and obviously these are my own petty feelings but like. Those streams were dear to me and we all came back together for them and they're fucking ruined now. Fuck this guy honestly.
There's a great post I wish I could paste for you about how we need to shake off the narrative that abusers are inherently evil. They might even see themselves as incapable of hurting a fly. They might be the kind of person who no one had a bad thing to say about them until they did. They might be, most likely, a complicated person capable of doing good and being kind and also horrible things.
I think, trying to go back through past things the person has done to show that they're "evil" kinda dismisses the story Shelby told.
He wasn't evil. He still hurt someone and has said nothing about it. He still hurt someone and then destroyed her things and made an album about it. He doesn't deserve our support because, as Shelby said, he's shown to be dangerous and incapable of controlling himself in a way that doesn't damage those around him.
But, no longer sidetracked, I understand what you mean. I don't think any of them realize that their communities are more than things they can farm for interactions. I don't know if any of them will ever grasp how many people are involved in these online spaces in creating, discussing, offering friendship and advice and just existing -- even just coming "back" for events like those streams and feeling welcome. So it hurts like hell to see one of them go up in smoke like this.
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