#ris cries sorrow

[risarchives]

heaven’s weeping.

in which caelum and gavin have to weather the passing of the freelancer.

tw: major character death

Caelum arrives too late.

He shouldn't be here at all. Gavin had told him not to come. He felt the link break all the way back in Aria when it happened yesterday; he knows being here wouldn't lessen the ache. He's felt how seeing humans in such a condition feels; he's felt rue and heartbreak before. Today wouldn't be any different. Although today, he suspects, would be worse.

He shouldn't be here. Gavin wouldn't do any better with him here. He doesn't care.

Memories of promised breakfasts and softly-sung lullabies make their way to his mind. He's seen this before, this particular scenery – a demon grieving a charge they failed to save. Though it's different in this context– Gavin almost didn't get to save himself, too. He did, fortunately, but not from tremendous grief.

He wouldn't be here for long, if his expectations don't betray him. He thinks Gavin would calmly ask him to rift back to Aria to save him from sorrow, from the knots, the moment he steps in to check on his best friend, although he hopes he wouldn't. He wants to be here, with them, and so he quietly walks into the funeral location.

And there they were, lying on their open casket, little white flowers surrounding them, their hair, and their clothes. Aria stood no chance at beauty when placed in comparison to the Freelancer. Even now that they're asleep, the Freelancer seems as if they're wrapped in sunlight and all things divine.

There are flowers and plants and a whole garden outside, and Caelum finds it fitting. They deserve all of them, he thinks, everything that's beautiful and soft.

Their face is still and calm. Such an image wouldn't be so dismal had it not seemed so familiar. Freelancer displayed so much strength in hopes of hiding and downplaying their struggles, but the knots always reached out to Caelum as if they were asking to be saved. Perhaps they were, and he failed to accomplish that. Even now, it seems like they're feigning tranquility to keep people from worrying.

They're gone. The flowers are the only things alive in that casket.

He should've listened. He should've stayed in Aria. Everything hurts and his best friend is gone and the flowers make them look beautiful but it doesn't bring them back. He's crying now, and he hates that he is. But he can't stop.

I shouldn't cry, he thinks, it would make them sad. I don't like them hurting when they look at me.

A figure kneels in front of him, wiping his tears away. Gavin. His eyes are red and swollen, his hair messy, and his clothes untidy with wrinkles and blood. He hasn't changed clothes due to his desire to remain by their side – that much Caelum is aware of.

“You shouldn't be here,” he starts, his voice broken. “They wouldn't want you here, Caelum. I know it's hurting you.”

Caelum feels like breaking. He can't even protect Gavin from this grief. He can't do anything here.

Caelum softly touches Gavin's eyes, forcing them to close. The demon was feigning strength for him. Even if Caelum knows his voice would crack if he dares speak, he still tells Gavin: “You can cry. I know you want to cry. It shouldn't matter that I'm here.”

This shatters Gavin's heart.

Gavin's eyes remain close, but he smiles. A teardrop falls from his eye. He pulls Caelum's hands down from his eyes and, as he's standing up, he presses a kiss to the crown of his head. “Okay. You can stay here, but if you're hurting too much, I'll bring you back to Aria.”

He nods. They both walk towards the open casket. Even in death, they looked beautiful, peaceful, safe.

Every step felt painful. Every step is one step closer to farewell. Both boys wish they can change that.

Caelum gently hugs them from their right side, careful as to not push the flowers off the casket. This scenery, too, was familiar. Although back then, their heart would be beating, and his ear would be pressed against their left chest.

‘Can I give you a hug?’ he would often begin, which would be responded to with a nod. Their arms would always be open and safe and their smile growing and their heart beating whenever he would hug them, their overflowing affection filling him up inside.

And some nights, they would say, ‘Yes, little angel, you can stay for the night.’ and they would open their arms and move a little to the side of the bed, the other side being given to him. ‘We'll ask Gavin to bring you home tomorrow.’

Then there would sound lullabies. He didn't need them, he didn't even need sleep. Slumber isn't necessary to pour energy into the very body of demons and d(a)emons, no matter how young. But he knows the idea of singing someone to peaceful slumber gives them happiness and makes them feel like they helped, so he lets them. Freelancer was otherworldly that way. He always thought they were too kind for the world.

He's afraid of hugging them from their left side, to put his ear on top of their left chest. He wouldn't hear them breathing nor would their heart be beating, so he stays on their right side. The lack of heartbeat from the left side would finalize their passing, and he's not sure he can handle that.

He realizes he's made their right shoulder soaked in tears, and so he sniffles and tries to gently dry it with the waving of his hands, and would be whispering a series of apologies as he does it. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, silly… I just miss you. I can hug you, you would love that, right? Hugs, soft hugs. I want to give you soft feelings before you leave and to make your clothes perfect and to give you a last hug and I, I want to come with you… I want you to wake up. I want us both to bake together again. I want us both to eat healthy again. We'll wear those aprons I made for us again…

“I will help with your projects, silly, I promise. We would make artsy crafts and bake cookies and help you do good in school and clean the kitchen after baking together. Or I would sit still to not ruin anything. And I'll bring you warm water instead of cold every morning. I promise I'll be good. Please?”

His own words aren't helping– he can't stop himself from weeping.

Hearing those words from Caelum isn't helping Gavin either. He has to bite the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from crying loudly and to make Caelum even sadder. The two people he cherishes are in front of him; neither are in a good state. One is grieving and one is gone. He can't do anything to fix it and it pains him to accept that.

They were supposed to eat breakfast together tomorrow morning. They were supposed to bake this weekend. They were supposed to finish their final year at the academy. They were supposed to be many, many things, but now death has reduced them into nothing.

Even the kindest candles lose flame. Both Caelum and Gavin would have to somehow come to terms with that, or they would be stuck in this grief for eternity.

Caelum caresses the hair of the Freelancer and places a kiss on their temple. Every time he cried, they would place him on their lap and press their lips against his temple until he'd stop hyperventilating. It calmed him down every time. “You can hear me, I know, you always listen to me, after all…” he sniffles again. “If we can't do those things again, then I'll promise I'll be good. I hope I didn't ruin anything in your life… if I did, I promise I didn't mean to. You're the tough one here, silly. Thank you for being brave enough… for both of us, so I don't have to be. Rest easy, please…”

He feels selfish. He wants to be beside their casket forever, as if his presence would somehow inspire them to stay. He wants to hear them name constellations again, even though he can't ever memorize all of them. He wants to bake with them again, even if he can use magic for cookies any time. He wants their hug again, their temple-kisses, their I'm here, little angel and I'll stay until you're okay when he's crying. Their soft smiles whenever Gavin's around or is brought up. Their little acts of kindness and love.

A phantom of a kiss is pressed against his temple, barely there and quickly fading. Gavin is standing behind him, and Caelum is kneeling beside the casket. It is them, in some way. It cannot be Gavin. He knew better than to deny the farewell of his best friend.

And no— Caelum isn't selfish. The world is just unfair.

#ris cries sorrow #screaming crying i miss my son so much #caelum pspspsps #redacted asmr #redactedasmr #redacted gavin #redacted freelancer #redacted caelum #works

[noxtivagus]

sorrow of werlyt.... i saw someone's reaction on a cutscene on twt n that reminded me of how tragic that storyline was 😭😭

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #it's one of my favs! #on the top of my head rn #some of my fave stories in ffxiv would be #the drk quests / sorrow of werlyt / & stuff relating to the ancients #god sometimes i just think of hermes for example n get emotional! #emet-selch too :') #drk always gives me no end of inspiration and motivation #sorrow of werlyt.... #one. i love the music so much. #from terncliff's 'and love you shall find' to the diamond weapon #ruby & emerald too goddamn #i love love love tragic stories #the way. one by one they just. yeah #i cried so much on the last quest #i love au ri btw :<< #funny that charas who r au ra & friends i've had that r au ra #sidurgu! yugiri! npcs i love very very much #two irls that mean a lot to me & one of my fav online friends & an old friend #thinking of au ra reminds me of my ocs too #i really wna work more on them soon >< #random thought but i'm gna remind myself again to. really be careful bcs #i think i often underestimate the effect i have on others #one ffxiv friend i think i helped him w my words that. that one night #& from his actions i think he treats us like younger sisters c: #apollo n i just be ourselves but that really seems to bring people in #hmm. it makes me afraid. i wonder if i may ever be unintentionally hurting another #but now's not the time to think like that #yk i logged into my alt n oh my god female au ra in suits. mwah. kiss me!

[amethystina]

Dear Amethystina,

How could you do this to me????? I think I'm going to perish. PERISH. You posted about Mad Dog and twinky Woo Do Hwan and??? How could I not watch it???? And now I've just finished episode 12.

And let me tell you. I have suffered. The PAIN of watching Jang Ha Ri (who I really want to like, mind you) and Kim Min Joon doing their stupid flirty thing. Maybe it's because I haven't finished the drama, but I feel like Ha Ri is being done dirty. And without even mentioning the surprisingly homoerotic bromance of said Kim Min Joon and Choi Kang Woo.

Since you are the reason I started watching Mad Dog in the 1st place (curse my similar taste), I'm ranting to you. I know you have no particular obligation to reply. :) But these are my thoughts, and I must tell them to someone because I don't know anyone else who watches this drama, and the tumblr tag for it is a vacuum. Let the rant commence.

How could the writers do this to Jang Ha Ri's character?? Maybe it's just bc I haven't gotten to that part yet, but she barely got any backstory, and I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama. Just a couple lines abt her father being saved by Kang Woo. And that's it. That's it! Even Cheetah got a friggin flashback. Even though he's a less significant character. (Pardon me, Cheetah, but it's true.) Since she has no backstory, her character feels rather ungrounded. We, the audience, don't really know who she is w/o the two main leads. With every other character, we know who they are on their own, because they got a rather thorough backstory.

But Jang Ha Ri has barely any, which I think is strange, since she's pretty important. Therefore, whenever I see her on screen, I just can't connect with her. In the beginning of the drama, I was like "wow, this is such a good setup for her character! i can't wait to see what the writers do with her". But now I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama, and she's got almost nothing. That causes me to feel like she's been shortchanged, and that her relationship with the other characters (especially Min Joon) is built on a foundation of sand. They told us abt her background, but they didn't show it, which kinda invalidates her relationships w/ other characters, because she's barely a character by herself. That's not to say that she doesn't have personality, but we don't understand her on her own, we can only access her thoughts when she's with the two male leads, or doing smth for them, etc.

She can't have a romantic relationship with someone else if the audience doesn't know who she is on her own. (Kinda like how, in real life, you have to know who you are and love yourself before you can love someone else.) That's why her and Min Joon's relationship feels so insincere, because in it she's basically just Min Joon's love interest. As you can tell, I'm a lil salty.

And on top of all that, Min Joon and Kang Woo have such promise as a couple!!!!! Kang Woo choked Min Joon up against a wall. (parallels to the Devil Judge) They were living together. For God's sake, Min Joon cooked Kang Woo a thank-you meal for caring enough about him to check on him when he was in trouble, for saving his life. How Min Joon looked so crushed when Kang Woo told him they weren't living together! And I can't even read any fanfics about it, since there's literally only 3 fanfics for their pairing on ao3! And none of them are written the way I think the characters should be written. So I may have to write a fanfic for them myself, since I need them to kiss.

For my ask, I request a few words of comfort involving Min Joon and Kang Woo. I would ask for a short lil drabble where they're happy together, but if that isn't smth you want to do, just pretend I never asked. Just say "They kissed and lived happily ever after. The end." Those words from you would bring me great happiness in my time of sorrow.

Ever your faithful reader,

Sofapup

(P.S. And btw 39 of WHTD was heartwrenching and I loved it sm and I cried why do you do this to me)

I'm sorry this took a little longer to answer than usual but when I got this ask, you were actually ahead of me in the drama since I've been putting it off for so long x'D So I had to wait until I had also finished episode 12, just in case there was some important information there that might influence my reply.

Also, I want to point out that I never actually told anyone to watch Mad Dog since I still haven't finished it myself. So you only have yourself to blame, my friend ;)

ANYHOW. Your feelings about Ha Ri mirror my own. She is done SO dirty. I was SO EXCITED when she first showed up because it seemed like she was going to be a really interesting character, but, pretty soon, I realised how wrong I was. I agree that they've given her almost no backstory whatsoever and so nothing she says or does feels truly anchored in anything. And she fluctuates wildly between confident badass and flustered damsel in distress in a way that's genuinely baffling to me.

Like, in episode 12 when she got chased into a dead-end by the baddie and everyone was freaking out — including her. But, like, my dudes. Did you all forget how she literally parkoured her way down a three-story building in episode 1? Her ability to climb and acrobat her way out of trouble has been firmly established. But now she can't even climb the pile of rubble in front of the one-story house she's caught next to? What the actual fuck is going on?

I am FURIOUS on her behalf.

And that is actually one of the reasons why I'm having trouble getting through this drama. That and the general inconsistent characterisation (not just Ha Ri), plus the shoehorned flirting. The general plot and setup of the drama are fine and I like quite a lot the characters and their relationships, but it's also forcing a lot of confusing and contradicting information in my face in a way that instantly makes my hackles rise. It feels almost clumsily unprofessional?

Like, don't get me wrong — I'm still enjoying most of this drama and I'm pretty sure I'll finish it — but dear LORD is the characterisation bad in some cases. At this point, I think I can say I'm pretty good at characters without that being taken as bragging, yeah? I have a pretty easy time pinning down their personalities, behaviour etc. etc. And when I can't it's usually a bad sign because, nine times out of ten, that means your characters are inconsistent. Either because the writer doesn't have a clear picture of who they are, or because they keep making the characters do things they usually wouldn't because they want to advance the plot (poor Ha Ri suffers from both, I'm afraid to say).

That's not to say that a character has to be predictable. Kang Yo Han is a good example of a character who was unpredictable enough that I couldn't say for sure I understood him until I had watched the whole thing. I needed all the information before I could form a clear picture. But, even then, he was consistent in his characterisation throughout the entire drama. To be honest, he's one of the most consistent characters I've ever seen, especially since, even on a rewatch, his actions don't change. You understand his motivations better, sure, but his actions are exactly the same and that, right there, is something I am in awe of. Even the impulsivity, recklessness, viciousness, sudden swings in direction — all of it was consistent in the end because his core personality and values were. Kang Yo Han is a marvellous character from a craft perspective.

But in Mad Dog? Shit's all over the place for the majority of the characters. The most solid ones are the bad guys since their core personality trait is "hilariously evil." Which might not be a very nuanced personality, but at least it's consistent. Almost everyone else has been forced to be out of character for convenient plot purposes at some point.

And the worst crimes by far are committed against Ha Ri and Min Joon in order to force their romance. Now, don't get me wrong — I LOVE romance and the actors have some pretty nice chemistry — but none of it really fits. Not with the rest of the story, the pacing of the rest of the story, the (small amount of) backstory we get for the two of them, the tone of the rest of the story, or the initial characterisation we were given. It feels like a literal case of "here is a male and a female of roughly the same age and now we need to make them kiss because heteronormativity" with no thought to how to actually make it believable. So they cram in cutesy and supposedly romantic scenes (often with Min Joon feeling a really confusing need to protect Ha Ri? Even if she could literally kick his ass? But because she's a woman he has to I guess?) that either happen out of the blue or just way too early in their relationship for it to be believable and it just annoys me so much.

I swear, after the car explosion thing in... can't remember the episode. But Kang Woo drags Min Joon out of the burning car, yeah? And Ha Ri shows up and FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON pulls the unconscious and clearly injured Min Joon into her arms? Ma'am. Girlfriend. Bestie. He's got a bleeding head injury — possibly also a neck injury. Maybe don't move him more than necessary? Also, isn't he a conman? As in, the type of person you claim to hate most because of your tragic past? Why are you suddenly pulling him into your arms like he's your injured boyfriend? He was fine just lying on the ground, I promise. This really isn't necessary.

And THEN you find out it's because she needed to get blood on her jacket so that Min Joon could get worried and ask her about it when he was at the hospital later and she could tell him she was fine because it was all his but ooooh loooook, he caaaares about her! Isn't that cuuuuuute?

Someone please put me out of my misery.

I legit had to pause the episode and just stare out into space for a couple of seconds when that happened because that's just SUCH TERRIBLE WRITING. I can do better than that and writing isn't even my job! It made NO sense for her to act the way she did and it honestly just made her look stupid. All for a clumsy attempt at furthering her romance with Min Joon? I am FUMING.

(Is the script forcing you to be stupid, Ha Ri? Blink twice if you need me to come save you)

And the forced romance between Ha Ri and Min Joon is only made more hilarious by how effortless his connection is with Kang Woo. It's more consistent with their characters, consistent with the overall pacing, and genuinely more interesting. And it just baffles me how completely off the mark the writer was since Kang Woo is getting all the important emotional scenes with Min Joon, not Ha Ri.

Like, the scenes where Min Joon is vulnerable and talking about his childhood and dead brother? Which would be great in order to build trust between him and Ha Ri? He's having all of those scenes with Kang Woo. Which I don't mind, of course (it's HILARIOUSLY gay) but that just proves that the romance between Min Joon and Ha Ri was an afterthought and the build-up of it was just slapped on without much thought to the characters. It's romance for the romance's sake. Because the actual building of a relationship, sharing of emotions, of grief and painful memories? Min Joon doesn't do that nearly enough with Ha Ri to make the romance stick, especially due to the aforementioned problem with her having too little backstory and firm ground to stand on. He honestly has more connection, more in common, AND more chemistry with Kang Woo.

So, long story short, I feel your pain. Ha Ri is being treated so, so unfairly and it makes me so angry. But, on the other hand, I find the gay romance brewing between Kang Woo and Min Joon absolutely amazing. And, to my surprise, I might just have to retract my earlier statement about the writer not having any idea about how gay this is. Because I actually went to check who the screenwriter was and turns out it's the same woman who worked on Beyond Evil. Which I have not seen but reports tell me it's hella gay. So, tbh, the gay might not be as unintentional as I first thought?

Like, I obviously don't know this woman but it would be HILARIOUS if she's just sneaking gay shit into her shows and subtly sabotaging the straight romances by making them this shitty. I know we're reaching conspiracy theory levels here but I would definitely do that if I were her.

Thank you for your service, ma'am.

(Too bad you write such shitty female characters, at least in this drama)

Anyway. I'm genuinely confused by the tone of Mad Dog because they play it very straight (pun intended). I mean, looking at The Devil Judge I think it's pretty clear that there's a cheeky little undertone of "we know what we're doing but we're not going to say outright what it is — if you know, you know ;)" But in Mad Dog? They don't even really address the fact that Kang Woo and Min Joon have all the deep, emotional scenes while Min Joon and Ha Ri only get cringey and clumsy "romantic" scenes. But Min Joon and Ha Ri is the endgame?

While Kang Woo is probably meant to become a substitute older brother to Min Joon or something? But I really question why they had that whole "whoops, Min Joon accidentally impersonated Kang Woo's wife there for a second" plotline in that case. Man, I was laughing so hard x'D Like, Kang Woo outright says that Min Joon is the first person to cook for him and share a meal with him in that apartment since his wife died.

Sir. I... don't think you realise how unintentionally gay that sounds.

(But maybe your writer does. I'm keeping my eyes on you, ma'am)

Because if Min Joon had been a woman? That admission would have been taken as a hint of something romantic possibly brewing between them. Not necessarily that Min Joon was taking Kang Woo's wife's place, but stepping up as the next candidate, at the very least. And I find that absolutely HILARIOUS.

Okay, this is getting really, really long. As you can see, I also have A LOT of thoughts on Mad Dog x'D But also, as mentioned, I haven't finished it yet and if I ever were to write anything (which I honestly can't promise since it depends on how the drama ends and what my (already packed) schedule looks like) it wouldn't be able to until I have. But trust me when I say that I am quite intrigued to see where this goes — even if it means I have to suffer through the shoehorned flirting between Min Joon and Ha Ri.

(For the record, I am ANNOYED by how much I dislike those scenes. I WANT to like their romance! But it just feels so, so incredibly clumsy and forced and I, unfortunately, have standards. So it's a no from me so far)

Also, fun fact: I started Mad Dog as a palette cleanser after a lot of gay romance dramas, wanting something different. And, I mean, a story about life insurance fraud can't be gay, can it? So I went in with the best and purest intentions.

But then I started watching and somewhere around the point where Kang Woo slams Min Joon up against a wall for the first time I just put my head in my hands. Because I could see where this was going.

And then I made the mistake of looking up the poster for the drama and, I swear, I was beginning to have war flashbacks.

That's not gay at all.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened to me

Or even the second, third, fourth, or fifth. I think I'm up to seven or something? At this point, there's a joke amongst my friends that I have a gaydar meant specifically to locate gay dramas that aren't actually gay dramas — especially when I'm not actually looking for them.

It's a weird superpower to have, but there you go.

ANYHOW. Yes. Good luck with finishing this drama, I guess? I'll try to do the same but, considering my current pace, I can't say when I will. It's a bit of a drag sometimes, not going to lie. But I do like the plot and characters enough to want to see through to the end.

Also, I'm so glad you liked chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil! Thank you! Now take care, darling 💜

#Amethystina Replies #Sofapup #Mad Dog #I know it sounds like I don't like the drama #But I do #I'm just annoyed with a lot of the smaller nuances #Which do make the experience less than ideal #But it's not so bad that I want to stop #I'm still invested in all the characters #Ha Ri included #But man #My girl is made SO dirty #And don't get me started on Cha Hong Joo #Now THAT'S a terribly written character #I feel so bad for the actress #I think this woman just don't know how to write women #Which is a depressing thing to have to say

[skzhocomments]

Broken hearts can heal - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter IX - Losing your temper

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad link

AO3 link

Chapter VIII / Chapter X

---

Chapter IX - Losing your temper

word count: 1.9k words

~5 months later~

You were now completely settled into the motherhood life, and you felt like you were losing your mind.

You denied Minho's request to hire a nanny during the day when he was away, and it went alright at first, but now you regretted it badly and didn't know how to really reapproach the subject without feeling like a failure.

Other mothers are able to take care of their child on their own, so why couldn't you?

You started feeling very overwhelmed, and as usual, your bad coping mechanisms were drowning all your sorrows and pretending the problem is not there, acting completely composed on the outside while breaking on the inside.

Getting Haru to eat became harder, as you had to start introducing him to solids, but you were at least glad he was starting to sleep better during the night, so you managed to get at least 5-6 hours in.

Except for the past 3 nights, because Haru started teething, and was crying non-stop from the pain.

It just so happened that Minho had to be away to film a promotion a few cities over during this horrible period of your life, and you've been alone with the baby getting no rest at all.

You were sick of his crying, and you felt like your head was about to explode, so when Haru started up again, you just felt the need to leave the nursery and just go in the kitchen, away from his sobs, to clear your head.

You cried for a good while, cursing every God in existence, and you felt you were getting bad, all the emotions getting under your skin. You dreaded looking in the mirror and seeing the prominent dark circles under your eyes, you didn't manage to eat anything for the past 2 days, and Minho not coming home meant you've been deprived of all human contact.

It was bad.

You opened your phone and noticed he's been texting, but you quite literally didn't have a moment to yourself to freaking shower.

Whatever, he's going to come back today anyway. You thought, so you instead opened Twitter and started scrolling mindlessly, until something caught your eye.

---

SHINee's Minho spotted cozying next to co-star on film set.

Fans are having mixed feelings after pictures of Choi Minho holding his co-star, Hye-ri, by the waist started circulating the web.

A fan secretly took a picture and shared it on her page on Twitter, with the caption 'And he said he was married!'. The picture started being shared like wild fire around SHINee communities, with many...

---

You rolled your eyes as you stopped reading. The picture was a bit compromising, but you knew the Media had a way to twist everything and make anyone look bad. They surely were just friends, so what were they on about?

Still, curiosity got the better of you and you went down to the comment section, reading what others had to say.

---

"I mean, can we even blame him? Who wouldn't fall for Hye-ri?"

"lol and they said he has a wife and a kid sksksksks"

"come on we don't know what his relationship with his wife OR this actress is, stop assuming"

"he's THE minho, why would want to be with a nameless bitch lol"

"i ship him and Hye-ri!"

"lmfao imagine being his 'wife' at home seeing this what a loser"

"lol stop hating skskks"

"OMFG HYE-RI IS MY FAV ACTRESS I LOVE THIS"

"is this the end of shinee hahahah so many scandals nowadays"

"imagine being his kid and reading that everyone hates your mother lololol"

"what kid he's literally another man's son!?"

"hes just dropping bomb after bomb on us. we cant keep up minho!!"

"what, was the woman at home too ugly? skksksks"

---

Enough hate for today. You sighed. You knew fans were saying nasty things about you, calling you all sorts of names ranging from whore, slut, gold-digger, witch and so on. How dare you fall in love with Kibum and have a kid with him, then marry Minho?

They didn't care to understand that you only did it for Haru.

You felt yourself tear up again, but instead, you dissociated and simply watched the front door from the kitchen table with a blank stare.

~

After 3 long days away from home, Minho finally finished his busy schedule and could come back. He missed Haru a lot, he missed you, but more than anything, he missed resting. These days were so hectic he didn't even know what you were up to. He didn't have time to call, and you stopped replying to his texts a day prior.

He felt overwhelmed from all the stress at work, which was unusual. He's been in the industry for many years and only rarely felt the need to really take a break.

The day went on horribly; everything that could go wrong went wrong. First, he had an emergency meeting with the PR team because dating rumours started circulating between him and his co-star. His reputation already took a hit when he revealed he got married and was caring for Kibum's son, but he didn't care about it. He knew it was going to happen, but Haru's happiness was way more important to him. However, this was different, as it was completely blown out of proportion due to a friendly gesture he did towards a friend.

Whatever, he didn't want to dwell on it. Filming was done, even if it took longer than expected and he didn't get to rest or sleep too much these past days, so he could finally go home.

But then, he started driving home, and someone who didn't see the glaring red light ahead bumped into his car, completely destroying its back. He lost 2 hours waiting for insurance to come and assess the damage, and then had to take an Uber home.

He was supposed to originally get back at 6PM, but it was now well over 9PM and he was cranky, tired, and hungry.

He opened the apartment door only to hear Haru screaming his lungs out, while you leisurely drank a coffee and ate a sandwich at the kitchen table. The house looked like a mess, there were a few things thrown around the place, some half-drunk cups of coffee on the living room table, and a few of Haru's clothes on the sofa.

"Hey." He replied coldly. He didn't want to take it out on you, but what the fuck were you doing?

"Hey. You're back." You replied with a sigh.

"Haru is crying."

"Yea." You nodded. "I can hear him."

"And aren't you going to do anything about it?" He asked, but his tone was almost accusatory, which pissed you off tremendously.

"I will. I just need a break."

"A break? You need a break?" He continued, annoyed.

"Yea. I'm really tired..." You replied, confused by his demeanour. He was normally understanding, so you didn't get where the hostility was coming from.

"You need a break? I'll tell you what, Da-Eun. I fucking need a break. I've worked the whole day, the past few days, actually, and I wanted to come home and rest, not hear the baby cry his heart out while you ignore him, for what, for a nightly snack?! Fucking do something for once."

"Excuse me?" You stared at him in disbelief. "What did you just say to me?"

"What, the crying made you deaf?" He continued. He knew it was wrong, and really didn't want to take it out on you. He was so pissed off, though, and it was hard to contain his anger instead of redirecting it to you, who were there.

"Wow. Okay, sorry I don't do shit while you work sooo hard all day long. Had fun with Hye-ri?" You asked mockingly.

You didn't know why you said that.

It was a low blow, and you knew the scandal didn't hold any truth to it. You said it impulsively.

Minho scoffed. "Don't tell me you believe that bullshit too!"

"I don't. I'm just mad and wanted to get back at you." You affirmed, not wanting to keep fighting him for nothing. It was clear both of you had a couple stressful days, so it was not productive to talk right now.

"Get back at me?! Sooo mature, Da-Eun!"

But why did he keep pushing?

"Can you stop?" You asked him, feeling a couple tears making their way to your bottom eyelids.

"I just can't understand how you can leave him crying like that and simply eat like it's nothing!" He shouted annoyed. "And the house is a freaking mess. I am gone for just 3 days and..." He gestured around him. "Can't you fucking do anything right?"

That was the last drop that overflowed the glass. You felt all the raw emotion pour out of you as you started unloading on Minho everything you felt the past days.

"You know what, Minho? Fuck you! Fuck you for coming back angry and taking it out on me! You think you were the only one with a shitty day?! Haru started teething just as you left and has been crying NON-FUCKING-STOP FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT AND NO MATTER WHAT I DID IT DIDN'T WORK. So I finally take a break- after 3 days of no sleep, not showering and not eating- I take a FUCKING break, which all experts advise when you are overwhelmed, by the way, and I come here to get away from his screaming and eat the first thing I could ever since you left – this fucking sandwich!"

You stood up and grabbed the plate and went directly to the trashcan, throwing the sandwich away angrily. You no longer had an appetite. Then, you continued your ranting.

"And THEN, you come back, FINALLY, and instead of being a supportive partner, what do you do? You start fucking screaming at me, basically calling me good-for-nothing, complaining about Haru, about the house. Just 3 days?! Fuck off! I'm fucking sorry I'm such a failure and such a bad mother in your eyes!"

With that, you brushed over Minho and headed to the nursery, tears streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably.

"Da-Eun, wait-" Minho tried to stop you, realising how royally he fucked up, and that he really hurt you.

"If you need a break so fucking bad, then we'll just leave!" You screamed at him again, and as much as you wanted to at least look composed, you were unable to stop the tears.

"No! I don't want you to leave anywhere! This is your home, and-"

"Look, I know I'm failing tremendously, and that Haru isn't happy with me because babies who are happy don't cry all the time, you don't have to remind me!"

"No, I never-"

"I can't do this right now, Minho. I'm fucking overwhelmed, and I don't want to talk to you or see you right now, so let go of me, and leave me alone!" You screamed at him, then went into the room and locked the door behind you.

Haru was still crying, so you picked him up and rocked him, putting a pacifier in his mouth. You were still crying at this point, so you stood down with him and begged him to shut up for once. Of course, he was a baby and had no idea what you were talking about, so he only stopped after about 30 minutes, when you finally put him down in the crib and he fell asleep without much struggle. 

---

(A/N) Oop, the first argument between Da-Eun and Minho is here!

How do you think they'll handle it?

Love,

Storm

---

Chapter VIII / Chapter X

#shinee #choi minho #fanfiction #taemin #minho #key #kim kibum #lee taemin #shinee masterlist #shawol #accidental pregnancy #pregnant #pregnancy #shinee angst #shinee fluff #shinee jjong #jonghyun #onew #shinee minho #shinee jonghyun #shinee taemin #wattpad #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfic #shinee key

[nvrcmplt]

Asuma doesn't die because I said so ---

@stovthearted - ♥

Akatsuki, Akatsuki, Atatsuki --- just who the fuck were they? It wasn't on Isami's mind as he was sent out with a team of four of his own co-workers, but they were mere blurs to the pain in his heart. The sound of panicked screaming, the chaos of fear that made his blood run cold to match the rumours of his cold heart. The feeling of roof tiles under his sandals, the cries of his teammates telling him to slow down, to stop wasting chakra as he launched himself faster, harder, further than them - he didn't know what else to do. Just get to the gates. Get to them. Get to him. Asuma… Stupid, idiot, beautiful Asuma. Isami did nothing less but push chakra into his thighs and feet like he had nothing else to lose and honestly it was true.

Asuma was his world.

When he lost everything and knew nothing else, Asuma was the one to offer him a hand in the shadow and pull him into the sunlight weaving through the leaves.

His fingers clawed in motion, wires whirred, and his body came like a spider pouncing its prey with a webbed formed net, landing with cracked earth, rolling with the momentum to smell it before seeing it through the rain that began to pour. Asuma… Asuma… "As…. uma?" Broken, his mind did scatter, like a window barely holding onto its frame. It fell with the weight of the situation, of the chunnin sobbing hearts out with colleagues hanging their heads. No… no. No, no, no, no.

"MOVE!" His voice bellowed with rage and sorrow, pushing from the floor and slapping his hands together to yank wires from their pockets, a swift weave, almost crazy in method as he manipulated them into a canopy to direct the rain away from Asuma's body as he kneels with a thud and tears apart his summoning scroll. The cloud of white only revealed his gear, reaching for Asuma's chest to yank open his vest, slice his shirt and stare upon the damage. Impalement, without a weapon? His gaze flutter, faltering but he reminded himself. Bleeding. Internal. Thus, his mouth suddenly crunched on three solider pills. Never recommended considering but he was a man without thought but to save his lover.

The taste was vile, could have made him vomit, but his mind was suddenly blank. His hands moved with ease slicing open Asuma's body - filling bloody edges with strips of material to absorb, he eased his fingers through organs, he pushed and tugged, he cut and buried himself deep. The world didn't exist - just the body of his lover in his hands. Warm, still warm - thus a possibility to keep him here. To deny the Shinobi gods of his lover's soul. "You are not leaving me here." Thus, his chakra flared - his team rushing in with faces of stricken emotion, but of course, it was wiped away the moment Isami's head rose, and his voice called out.

Listing the damages he could see, the next thing to do, chakra was pushed through Asuma's body, sensing his extremities, making sure blood vessels still flowed, but most of all - his head. Cradled in a lap and given to an expert of brain activity. It was within moments of them settling themselves with hands on Asuma's crown that they gave the verdict. "Still active!" A rare thing, as the body was always first to give up - the brain had a few moments to catch up. Thus, oxygen was pushed into Asuma's lungs via a contraption in his mouth. Clearing away blood in throat, Isami didn't hear anything else.

He worked deep, thankful for more hands to pull organs away from his vision to finally see it. The impalement wasn't through several organs but the worst organ here… The heart. "…!!" He didn't hear his own voice at this point, instead his entire hand turned green in its glow. A powerful hue - almost artificial when one considered the pills he swallowed with little care. And literally grabbed onto the organ with his full palm. Pushing his chakra inside the vessels, the muscle and sac filled with blood. He manually began to pump the others' heart whilst at the same time adjusting ribs around his wrist. Slicing through them was the only option, a clean cut but it was enough now. One, Two, Three, One, Two, Three, One, Two, Three… "Come back to me." His lashes bubbled, but they didn't fall - these tears were not to get in his way but a prayer in the deafening rainfall and frantic arrival of others to aid those from prior combat.

Isami didn't move, not even when they moved Asuma from the floor to a stretcher, he merely straddled the man on the damn thing and kept his hand in place. Allowing others to sew up the larger incision now that things were healed over. Isami's free hand rested on Asuma's neck. A pulse… just a blink, he needed just a blink. His teeth gritted with rage, his hand working hard through cramp, his spine ached, his old injury burned but he couldn't stop. He didn't give up, not like everyone else. Not his Asuma. Not his family. Not his reason for living.

His chakra paths burned, he was going overboard he knew that but he didn't stop, not even as he lowered his head to Asuma's own and rests their foreheads together with tears now dripping from his lash line. "Come back to me, come back, come back, come back…" A mantra, an obsession that would cause all to fight their own tears. This was not just any soldier, this was not just some jonin, it was a friend, a colleague, a generation that worked hard like the rest. So it was even more shocking when Isami's head rose and his gaze hardened only for their heads to collide with a scream.

"WAKE UP ASUMA!" He could have been held back, he could have been pulled away, but in that collision, the pump of heart - the healed lung, organs and cleared pathways --- Asuma coughed, spattering Isami's cheek in his blood and the weakest of inhales.

Silence…. Silence but then; "HE'S BREATHING!" Hands moved with swift ease, no one knew where one ended or where one began but Isami with his team began to double their efforts. Chakra pushed through one body, mending whatever it could find wrong. Heart, lungs, spinal cord, liver, spleen - kidneys. Everything, everything that had an oddity - Isami and his team healed it. Heart and brain, monitored as Isami's grip upon it lessened.

Then he began to beat on its own, fingers on Asuma's neck felt a stronger pulse, a louder pulse and Isami's teeth held his bottom lip to stop himself sobbing like a child he's never done before. Instead, he was moved by a teammate, placed on a chair that he realized was at the hospital again. He was shaking and aching and he knew the sensation of chakra exhaustion, so it wasn't seen as a problem when his eyes rolled backwards and he swayed into the waiting arms of another who knew of his condition.

Asuma was alive, he was alive, he was alive.

So he could stay alive too.

Asuma…

Asuma came back to him.

#-taps mic- uhm fuck canon #» | × | Isami&Asuma || Making My Blood Tremble With Emotions I Believed I Forgot || #» ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇ

[becomeundone]

That day, we said our belated farewell to Ms. Gam-ri. Despite so many losses he’s experienced in his life, he’s always kept his sorrow bottled up. Not even once has he been able to fully mourn or grieve. For the first time, he cried his eyes out. 

#hometown cha cha cha #hcccedit #kdramaedit #kdramadaily #kim seon ho #shin min ah #mine #i made a mistake in the caption the first time and i don't trust tumblr enough to actually put it in the tag if i change it #nightmare site

[17wishbones]

Happy Birthday to the one and only Rengoku Kyōjurō! I had been working on this last chapter for this series all day but someone - coughmymomcough - kept interrupting the writing process to do miniscule things. So, I am hoping to post it all here today. And by the by, this chapter will be split into 3 parts since it exceeded the usual page limit. Hope you guys enjoy this! :> - - - - - - - -                                                        Chapter VII: War’s End

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Nnn. . . Kyōjurō!” Pupils deep and dark were filled to the brim with lust as nails scratched and clung into the broad back of the Flame Pillar who blessed your lips with a kiss and made your cup runneth over for the upteenth time.

Simply at a loss of words.

Rengoku folded your body between him and the wall. Rough fingers held you up and in position as he plunged deep into you repeatedly, relentlessly. He’s tasted you time and time again, but you swore in the back of your mind that he may eat you alive. Your snarky, sensual comments and verbal ‘fuck me’s were replaced with an endless melody of your moans, groans, and cries.

You had a myriad of Rengoku’s hickeys along your body, a clear indication of possession. He wanted your body to remember him, and only him, from now and even into the afterlife. Rengoku knew, deep down, there wasn’t another woman out there like you.

“_____!” All the Flame Pillar could muster as he focused on this moment. He delved so deep down into your rabbit hole, he hoped to never see the next day so long as he remained in your space.

Kisses were short but needy, with lips in either a constant state of motion with another or parted. Total Concentration and Full Focus Breathing be damned!

You no longer counted the many rounds cycled through. You both had time off. Rengoku saw time better spent becoming intimate and gearing up the baby-making progress. 

Your limit neared, and so did his. You held on tight and crashed your lips to his, exploring and moaning into his mouth as he beat that pussy red. It was that last stroke, and that last bit of load, that put an end to those loud but necessary shenanigans.

Rengoku was kind enough to remember to slip from within and carry your dripping self down on the already wet and stained futons. You both had not a care in the world as you both began concentrating on your breathing again.

Mess of locs were lazily put behind your head as you gazed at his beautiful, handsome, heaving self. 

You never knew why, but the sight of him and the sound of his voice captured you time and time again, to the point it made you tear. And every time, he’d wipe them away with an endearing smile and positive affirmation. He was truly the one.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Sunflower!” Rengoku called to you, “This will be our last free evening. Then I shall board the train with Kamado, Hashibira, Golden Boy, and the demon tomorrow.”

“On the Mugen Train? Due to the 40 people missing thus far, right?”

“Nn. That is ri--”

“I don’t like this, Kyōjurō!” You inhaled sharply. ‘I don’t know why there is an aura spiraling when I think of the train.’ You got it together. “What I mean is, I want to come with you because my gut is telling me to.” Though your brain disagreed.

“Then come with me! We’ll flush the demon out together and fulfill our duties as Demon Slayers!”

“I’ll make some bento for the road. Wouldn’t want to travel without some of our favorites. Have any requests?”

“Steamed sweet potatoes! Yours are always the best, and since we’re leaving on a Friday…”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I haven’t made you some in quite a while due to the missions. I’ll get started on them now.”

“Let me help you!” You and him both knew that he wasn’t an exceptional cook, but he was able to follow instructions well in the kitchen. 

You laughed. “You just want to be close to me.”

He came up behind you, encircled his arm around your waist and kissed you on your neck. “Of course! Time spent with you is precious, _____.” He held you tight. “We don’t know when our last breaths will be.” You folded your arms over his and gripped his wrists as sorrow suddenly filled you. “I want my last moments to be with you, if it comes.”

Rengoku was precious to you. More precious than any gem, stone, or currency. Frowning at his outspoken sentiment, you added, “In the case it happens, Kyōjurō, I’ll be with you, whether in the afterlife or reborn. There’s no one in this world I’d rather be with than you.”

He turned you to face him. His expression was so brilliant, you wouldn’t have minded going blind if he were the last thing you saw. “You bring me much joy, my Sunflower! I, too, promise myself to you and only you, both here, in the afterlife, and being reborn! I want to never be without you!”

“Me too.” With but a kiss and you both were swept away, forgetting about time.

- - - - - - - - -

“UMAI”s echoed in one of the middle carts on the train after every taste in the 10+ bento boxes he demolished.

Compared to you and everyone on the train, he looked like a glutton, but you were happy to see and hear Rengoku enjoying his many meals. He worked hard and deserved to have his fill. Of course, you had to cook huge meals at the Estate you were calling home. 

It made you happy seeing him like this.

“Are you not hungry, Sunflower?” He stacked up his eleventh bento box, and readied himself to dive in on the treats you made him. When he spoke to others, he looked elsewhere, staring intensely before him, but with you, he always returned your gaze. 

“I am, but sometimes, I just get full from looking at you.” His gaze was curious then. “As in, you satisfy me in ways I couldn’t fathom growing up.” You turned from him, reminding yourself to ‘keep it professional’ over and over again. You wanted to show him all the affection he deserved, but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene than you did when you both walked on the train hand in hand.

Rengoku didn’t care. He turned you about face by your chin and kissed you without regard or hesitation. “There’s no need to hide from me, my Sunflower. I love you for who you are. So, please, kiss and hold onto me as much as you like!”

“Even while we’re on the job?”

“Nn!” Rengoku looked forward with his arms crossed proudly over his chest. “We don’t need to hide our love from anyone! You will be my wife, and that’s that!”

“Aww, Kyōjurō!” You gave in, finally, and smooched his cheek several times. “Have I told you how amazing you are? And how I can’t wait to officially be yours forevermore?” 

“Yes, and every time, your words fuel the fire in me and fill me with pride!”

“Good. Now, would you like your three kisses for good luck?”

Rengoku faced you with his eyes closed and lips spread in a wide smile, waiting for you to bless him with many soft kisses. 

“Ah, Rengoku-san! _____!” 

“Ah, boy with the demon sister!” Rengoku greeted. “You made it!” - - - - - - - - - - Chapters: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII (Part 1) / (Part 2) / (Part 3)

#rengoku kyojuro x reader #rengoku kyōjurō #rengoku x you #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu rengoku

[wellhalesbells]

✨✨ TOP FIVES FOR 2020 ✨✨

2020 was, i think we can all agree, a massively chaotic year but i have never consumed as much media before in my life, so i thought others might benefit from my slothery uh, connoisseur.... ship?  yes, that.  below are the books, comics, shows, and movies that got me through!

B O O K S .

the starless sea, by erin morgenstern - i loooove this book because it loves me back.  it says: ‘oh, you’re a reader, well i have just the thing for you.’  it luxuriates in language and story and riddles and fairy tales and it feels like an entire library in a single tome.

they never learn, by layne fargo - oh fuuuuuck, this was satisfying.  i thought it might feel a little exploitative as it is very aware of the zeitgeist and likely would not exist without the #metoo movement but it never ever did.  this was a fucking ROMP, period.  reading about a woman getting away with murdering skeezy guy after rapey guy after shitty human just made me happier and happier.

moonflower murders, by anthony horowitz - this is the second in the susan ryeland series (and the first was hardcore good fun too) and really feels very classic mystery with the artful twist of catering to the literary community.  mainly because: susan isn’t a detective, she’s an editor and she gets drafted in this time because the clue to what happened to a missing woman is in a book she edited, if she can find it.  both of the books in this series have such an excellent coming together moment that is rare af to find.

the invisible life of addie larue, by v.e. schwab - the writing in this is just so good.  it has that feel to me where i just want to drop the book and open up my own page and let my fingers fly.  it’s that inspiring kind of writing that reminds you of all the things language can do.

crown of feathers/heart of flames, by nicki pau preto - aaahhh, this series is SO FREAKING GOOD!  why is there not more of a fandom for it, why???? it is so many of my favorite tropes all resting perfectly together to the point where you almost forget they’re tropes because they just so naturally evolved there.  ugh, it’s just.... it’s so heart-bursty good.

.... number 5, part 2?  raybearer, by jordan ifueko - this was just so original and i was invested af.  like, what a brilliant idea though and an even better execution??  i loved every character and am so looking forward to the next in the series so i can get to know them even better!!

honorable mentions (sh*t i still liked a whole heckuva lot): you/hidden bodies, by caroline kepnes // writers & lovers, by lily king // i’ll be gone in the dark, by michelle mcnamara // the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, by joseph fink & jeffrey cranor // girl, serpent, thorn, by melissa bashardoust // a little life, by hanya yanagihara // the guinevere deception, by kiersten white // obsidio (and the entire illuminae series), by amie kaufman & jay kristoff // the bone houses, by emily lloyd-jones // house of salt and sorrows, by erin a. craig // we hunt the flame, by hafsah faizal // savage legion, by matt wallace // blacktop wasteland, by s.a. cosby // crier’s war, by nina varela // the empress of salt and fortune/when the tiger came down the mountain, by nghi vo // upright women wanted, by sarah gailey // the monster of elendhaven, by jennifer giesbrecht // a deadly education, by naomi novik // you let me in, by camilla bruce // when you ask me where i’m going, by jasmin kaur // the lights go out in lychford/last stand in lychford (and the entire lychford series), by paul cornell // the devil and the dark water, by stuart turton // serpent & dove, by shelby mahurin // one by one, by ruth ware // ruthless gods (this was SUCH an upshot from the first book - it’s worth sticking with if you’re on the fence), by emily a. duncan // cemetery boys, by aiden thomas // the inheritance games, by jennifer lynn barnes // the fortunate ones (2021 release), by ed tarkington

C O M I C S .

cosmoknights, by hannah templer - the art was gorgeous, the gayness was glorious, and just.... hot HOOOOOOOOT lady knights in space?!  a princess winning her own hand?  find something not to love in there, i dare you.

don’t go without me, by rosemary valero-o’connell - wow. wow wow wow wow wow.  the writing was stunning, so lyrical and atmospheric and deep, and rosemary has to be one of my favorite artists but even that managed to come as a beautiful surprise because it was just so freaking bold.

through the woods, by emily carroll - i loooove emily carroll, the convergence of spine-tingling horror and art that feeds into it, that is both visually and aesthetically pleasing, is hard to beat!  p.s. i also read beneath the dead oak tree from her this year and it was also a BANGER.

the impending blindness of billie scott, by zoe thorogood - zoe is someone that i just want to follow.  she’s just starting and i want to be there for every single step.  i love her art style and her ability to tell a story with it.

above the clouds, by melissa pagluica - this was so unique, and such a baller concept, as nearly half the entire book is conveyed only through the art and yet you’re never once lost, never once confused as to what any character is thinking or feeling.  it’s a story within a story and only one of those gets words though they both are chock full of emotion!

um.... number 5, part 2? crowded, by christopher sebela - everything about this series is fun af.  crowd-funded assassination and a hirable bodyguard who’s rated like an uber driver???  and the chemistry between the two mains is so great and gay!!

honorable mentions: monster and the beast, by renji // long exposure, by kam ‘mars’ heyward // fence, by c.s. pacat // invisible kingdom, by g. willow wilson // ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson // heathen, by natasha alterici // not drunk enough, by tess stone // giant days, by john allison // die, by kieron gillen // be prepared, by vera brosgol // ascender (sequel to descender, which is also great), by jeff lemire // the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north // bang! bang! boom!, by melanie schoen // gideon falls, by jeff lemire // life of melody, by mari costa // cry wolf girl, by ariel slamet ries // the tea dragon society, by katie o’neill // ptsd, by guillaume singelin // heartstopper, by alice oseman // solutions and other problems, by allie brosh // finding home, by hari conner // the magic fish, by trung le nguyen // something is killing the children, by james tynion iv // the weight of them, by noelle stevenson // spill zone, by scott westerfeld // skyward, by joe henderson // miles morales, by saladin ahmed

F I L M S.

parasite, dir. bong joon ho - oh it was satisfying, oh it was suspenseful, oh i had to watch some of it through my fingers but i loooooooved it.  such a good story and so well made.

knives out, dir. rian johnson - okay, everything about this movie was amazing.  every single character was fun as hell and i could’ve watched an entire movie about each of them.  what a great fucking mystery!

blindspotting, dir. carlos lopez estrada -  this made my heart hurt so damn much.  what glorious writing, acting, and story!

portrait of a lady on fire, dir. celine sciamma - gooooorgeous cinematography, amazing chemistry, and such a soft, atmospheric film.

the farewell, dir. lulu wang - i cried and my heart felt so full and i love it so so much.

um.... number 5, part 2? someone great, dir. jennifer kaytin robinson - no part of me expected to love a netflix movie this much but it’s a love story that doesn’t get told that often??  the end of a relationship and the true love of friendship and i love these girls and i love jenny and nate’s broken relationship.

honorable mentions: eighth grade, dir. bo burnham // booksmart, dir. olivia wilde // midsommar, dir. ari aster // the curse of la llorona, dir. michael chaves // the secret life of pets 2, dirs. chris renaud & jonathan del val // jojo rabbit, dir. taika waititi // the invisible man, dir. leigh whannell // the favourite, dir. yorgos lanthimos // can you ever forgive me?, dir. marielle heller // troop zero, dirs. bert & bertie // ready or not, dirs. matt bettinelli-olpin & tyler gillett // brave, dirs. mark andrews & brenda chapman & steve purcell // the half of it, dir. alice wu // palm springs, dir. max barbakow // doctor sleep, dir. mike flanaghan // uncut gems, dirs. benny sadfie & josh sadfie // birds of prey, dir. cathy van // bloodshot, dir. dave wilson // the old guard, dir. gina prince-bythewood // enola holmes, dir. harry bradbeer // hocus pocus, dir. kenny ortega // always be my maybe, dir. nahnatchka khan // finding dory, dirs. andrew stanton & angus maclane // die hard, dir. john mctiernan

S H O W S .

black sails (2014) - this show, this shooooooooow.  i cannot, it just makes me want to cry with how good it is.  the characters, the EMOTIONS, the story, the plaaaaaan.  like, the creators clearly had a plan for every single step of this show and it was a gOOD, GOOD PLAN.

the untamed (2019) - truly, cheesy good fun with one of the best gay romances ever.  i love these characters and their relationships to each other and the way it glories in its own ridiculousness.

the righteous gemstones (2019) - one of the things that bothered me about my next choice (the ratio of female to male nudity) was so much more realistic in this one (i mean, we’ve all gotten five thousand dick pics and i know like three people?  so the fact that there is so rarely male nudity in shows when there are tits everywhere..... no, how does that even make a tiny bit of sense?).  this show was such great, wonderful, awful fun.  they’re not great people and the show is under no delusion about that and it’s GLORIOUS!

the witcher (2019) - this was just hella fun, i loved the characters and the fantasy elements.  i’m excited for the next season, it’s just entertaining swashbuckling through and through!

fargo (2014) - all of this was really very enjoyable with the through line being somebody fucks shit up and gets involved in something they really shouldn’t be involved in that’s going to swallow them whole.  season one and season three were my stand-out favorites but they were all so violent, clever, and vicious!

um.... number 5, part 2? central park (2020) - um..... so many of the hamilton actors in a muscial cartoon drawn and written by the bob’s burgers team? WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND AMAZING?!  it was such a joy to hear daveed diggs and leslie odom jr.’s voices again!!

honorable mentions: schitt’s creek // the mandalorian // mr. robot // broadchurch // mindhunter // jack ryan // the good place // the end of the f***ing world // big little lies // elite // kidding // servant // letterkenny // curb your enthusiasm // i am not okay with this // ozark // buzzfeed unsolved: true crime/supernatural // you // runaways // dear white people // dickinson // brooklyn nine-nine // will & grace // 9-1-1 // dead to me // solar opposites // never have i ever // killing eve // what we do in the shadows // grace and frankie // avenue 5 // roswell, new mexico // the bold type // evil // tuca & bertie // impulse // the umbrella academy // watchmen // infinity train // corporate // search party // on becoming a god in central florida // a.p. bio // criminal: uk // the morning show // mythic quest // last week tonight // prodigal son // the great

#the starless sea #the invisible life of addie larue #the untamed #knives out #2020 favorites list!! #i tried to stick to shows i both started and finished in 2020 otherwise like schitt's creek and the good place would be in top five #same for comics #uh oh i've found the keyboard again

[leviskokoro]

♜➳ danger.

➳ ♡ when mysterious murders start to happen left and right, the crew has to figure out who the culprit is among them.

➳ ♡ among us! au

➳ ♡ warnings for death, gore, yandere behaviour

➳ ♡ yandere! rook hunt x mc

When Kalim barged into the Medbay where she was stationed, looking as though he had seen a ghost, Mari immediately knew that something truly terrible had happened. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders to give him some semblance of comfort. Her index finger pressed a button on her collar that would make her helmet tuck away into her suit, revealing her face that was riddled with worry and concern. 

“Kalim, take deep breaths.” Her voice was gentle, as if she believed that talking any louder would frighten him even more. He followed her instruction, his breaths were heavy as he exhaled. “Good. Now, tell me what happened.” 

“Ri-Riddle… He—” His body trembled like a leaf. His voice cracked, struggling to get all the words out. He swallowed thickly. “I found his body in A-Admin and-and—” Tears fell from his eyes, dripping onto her pink suit. He held onto her for dear life. His grip was so tight that it was nearly suffocating. 

She didn’t need him to say more, getting what happened from the state of the boy. Her lips were pursed and she glanced at the holographic map on her desk. 

Giving a shaky sigh, she turned to him. 

“Let’s go have a meeting.” 

Everyone sat around the table. The tension was so thick that you could slice it in half. The atmosphere was heavy and the air was harder to breathe in than normal. Nobody said a thing, not sure what to say in this situation. None of them expected for this to happen. That was, until Jack spoke up. 

“... There are only nine of us in HQ with no way out.”

“That means that there’s a traitor among us,” Azul said, pushing up his glasses. His expression was unreadable. 

Rook turned to Kalim, who had still not let go of Mari. “Roi d’or, did you happen to see anyone on your way to Medbay?” He asked, deciding to interrogate the boy. 

“I was panicking too much so I couldn’t see anything. My body just moved on its own,” He answered. 

“It seems awfully convenient for the killer that you just happened to not see anyone on the way to Medbay.” Epel narrowed his eyes at him. 

Mari raised her hands. “Before we get to accusing anyone, we should gather more info on what happened. I should take a look at the body and search for possible clues as to who did it.” 

“Très bien, petit ange! One must always have all the facts before making a decision so hastily,” Rook praised her, smiling his usual charismatic smile. 

“Alright. All of us will search for any clues as to who did this and later we can meet up again to discuss our findings,” Vil spoke, still managing to keep his composure throughout this meeting. 

Everyone else seemed to agree and got up to start their search. 

Nearly everyone had gone to Admin to check the crime scene. The only ones that stayed behind were Idia and Kalim. The room was filled with a distinctly rotten scent, one that made it absolutely certain that someone had died in there. And there laid the strict redheaded boy that they knew, his skin pale and eyes lifeless. 

Mari put her gloves back on and kneeled down, inspecting the body further. Her chocolate brown eyes narrowed, scanning the corpse for any hints as to how he died. It didn’t seem to be decomposing yet, so it’s gotta be quite fresh. The murder must’ve happened less than 12 hours ago. And yet, there didn’t seem to be a single bloodstain. She hummed to herself as she thought. 

“I’m going to need someone to bring him back to Medbay,” she finally spoke up. Her voice was heavy, trying her best to stay calm despite seeing the corpse of one of her friends and colleagues. “There isn’t much info to gather from his body just like this.” 

“I can carry him,” Jack volunteered. 

Their medic looked up at him and gave him a smile. A forced one full of sorrow, but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you, Jack.” 

But before he could reach for the body, they heard a blood-curdling screech. 

Everyone stood up in alarm, then rushed over to the source of the screech. Upon reaching the cafeteria, they found Idia looking even paler than usual. “K-Kalim… He-- He died… I found him in the hallway near his room,” he stuttered. 

“Now that’s strange. All of us were in Admin, searching for clues. You and Kalim were the only ones that didn’t go with us.” Vil narrowed his eyes at him in suspicion. 

“ARE YOU ACCUSING ME?!” He exclaimed, eyes widened. 

“No one else could’ve done it if everyone else was in Admin,” Jack spoke up. 

“That’s it. We’re ejecting you.” Leona glared before he grabbed him, dragging him towards the chute. 

“Wait! Isn’t this a bit extreme?!” Mari cried out, feeling pity for their resident shut-in who was screaming and kicking but to no avail. 

“If we keep him with us, he’s just going to kill off more people,” He told her. He looked up at the rest. “Is anyone else in agreement?” 

“It’d be too dangerous for someone like him to stay. I wouldn’t want him to harm the beautés of Mira HQ,” Rook agreed with him, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to him and giving Idia a glare. 

The others agreed simultaneously, nodding. They didn’t seem to be too bothered by this. And soon after, he was dropped from their Headquarters, falling to his death. 

Everyone thought that was the end of things and went back to work to the best of their abilities despite having lost three crewmates. The bodies were cleaned up and Mari decided to have the bodies scanned further, just to be safe. Unfortunately, she could only do it on one body at a time and it takes a few hours to complete. So as she waited, she sat down on the bridge between launch and medbay. The glass below her displayed the puffy white clouds as well as the vast blue sky. 

“You seem to be lost in thought, petit ange.” A voice whispered from behind her, his breath hitting her ear. 

She jumped. “Gah! Rook, don’t scare me like that!” She cried out. 

The tall blond chuckled. “I apologize, chère colombe. My footsteps tend to be quite silent.” 

Mari nodded, deciding that it wasn’t worth being too mad over. She turned back to the glass bridge she was sitting on, watching the clouds drift away. It looked so peaceful despite the events that had taken place. She sighed. 

“My stomach still feels like it’s churning. I’m not sure if the traitor was really taken care of. It feels like something terrible is going to happen,” she told him. Her breath was shaky, finding it difficult to breathe.

As he listened to her, he rubbed soothing circles into her back and pulled her close to him so that her head was against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat lulling her to sleep. “I understand how you feel, but Roi de Ta Chambre was the only one with Roi d’Or. Everything will be fine from now on, mon cher.”

The medic nodded. “Yeah… I guess you’re probably right. My anxiety is probably just being a bitch again.” 

They were oh so clueless of the horrors that would await them. 

One after another, their bodies dropped like flies. Each body that Mari had to scan had completely different causes of death that made it difficult to determine who it was. And each time she told the others her findings, they’d eject whoever was most suspicious at the time. They ejected Vil because she found traces of poison in Riddle’s stomach, then ejected Leona when they found claw marks on Azul. This continued until there were only two people left. 

Mari watched in complete horror as Rook approached her. She backed away from him. In her mind, she knew that it was impossible to run from a hunter with decades of experience. Her desk hit her butt lightly and his hands placed themselves on each of her sides, trapping her. 

“W-Why…? They were all your friends, Rook!” She sobbed, trembling like a leaf. 

His fern green eyes glinted in the light and the only expression he’s worn was a mirthful smile. He chuckled, the noise causing her heart to drop to her stomach. 

“Why, you ask? We were all competing for your love, chère colombe, and I was determined to win.”

Her eyes widened. “Wh-What?” 

“I wasn’t the only one to have committed those murders, mon cher. Several of us were trying to eliminate everyone else. I merely used them against each other to win,” he told her. She then realized why it had been so difficult to figure out the traitor. 

His hand reached up and caressed her hair. He gave a dreamy sigh. 

“Oh how I’ve wanted to be the only one in your life for so long. Even your betrayed expression is such a beauty to behold. And now, it’s all mine.” 

#twisted wonderland #twst #yandere twst #rook hunt #yandere twisted wonderland

[soft-ris]

TW: Death (not sure if I need to put a trigger warning)

Imagine risotto having to be on a mission for around two weeks. You were totally fine though, he had been on many missions before and you were so sure he would come back soon. The day he was suppose to arrive had finally come, though hours passed and your lover never returned. A few days after, the la squadra team had showed up at your door. Proscuitto held Risotto's hat and jacket, looking to at you with sorrowful eyes. The realization set in, you began uncontrollably sobbing and screaming for your lover back. The blond man wrapped the jacket around your shoulders as you desperately held onto him, begging for him back. The others stood back, watching sorrowfully as their capo's lover cried.

😀

I’m gonna pretend I didn’t read this ANGST tonight and pretend how my heart didn’t just 💔

BRO LIKE HUH NO I REFUSE THISBCOEOCJWKNFOC

A reality without Ris...love of ur life, man of ur dreams, apple of ur eye, the other end connected to ur red string of fate, ur SOULMATE?? DEAD??? Ride or die and I mean it LITERALLY ⚰️

The fact that the hat and jacket feels SO heavy in pros’ arms, but not as heavy as your sobbing body as u cry ur actual soul out, holding onto him as if you cry hard enough the gods would pity you and bring ris back 😞 illuso probably takes pity on u and brings u into the mirror world so u can break down in peace 😀 melone suggests match making u after a few years Ris is gone and u damn near blow a fuse bc move on??? From RIS??? HAHA OK I LAUGHED WHAT A COMEDIAN. NEXT. 😄 imagine once in awhile you ask forma to make u tiny so u can surround urself and (cry urself to) sleep wrapped up in Ris’ hat. Shit don’t even smell like him anymore and man is it possible to die from heartbreak??

#risotto x reader #risotto nero #risotto #jjba #jojo #jojo’s bizarre adventure #golden wind #vento aureo #jojo prosciutto #prosciutto #melone #jojo melone #formaggio #jojo formaggio #illuso #jojo illuso #jjba_stuff

[risarchives]

Vindemiator tastes the cruelty of an Enforcer. Freelancer immediately runs to him, helps him up, and holds him still. Say it!— the Enforcer commands. The Freelancer sits there, beside him, as if some semblance of mercy, as if the closest thing to salvation. With such careful touches, they make him feel like a sacred thing. Something that holds value. He looks at them (Worry— worry in their eyes... why, why for me?) and says: Thank you. The Enforcer proceeds to talk, to mock the demon, thinking the gratitude was directed towards him— but Vindemiator hears, sees, and feels nothing but the poor, unhappy Freelancer who would do anything but leave him helpless.

Later, in the haven, in the midst of grieving their separation, he searches for them in his dreams.

Audio RP | At an Enforcer’s Mercy [M4A]

#redacted vindemiator #redacted gavin #redacted freelancer #echo really said: happiness? during MY month? during *echo*tober? i think not! #woe is me #alexa play from eden by hozier #in the prime universe it's gavin slithering from aria to stay with his freelancer in elegy #in the imperium it's cutie (fl) doing everything in their power to check on vin in the haven from time to time #in both there's companionship built on kindness love (platonic/romantic) and everything tender #ANYWAY yeah this scene is from that audio #and this is how i always visualised it in my head #cutie helps him up and when he says 'thank you' (which was forced out of him by imp!hux) he secretly directs it towards cutie #which shatters my heart even more aha #redacted asmr #redacted audio #ris cries sorrow

[thursday-writes-fanfics]

Choose, part 3.(Reader x Jack Sparrow or Will Turner. )

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean, Will Turner, Jack Sparrow. 

Warnings: Angst, letting go of relationships to heal, ( also I am still rusty lol)

Words: 2.2 K

First - Former - Next

“Well, gentlemen and gentlewoman- oh wait, I mean trio of bastards, you caught me. Now, what do you want?”

The three of them looked at each other, still not used to the hostility Y/N showed them. After all, they had gone through so many things together and never had she called them bad names or belittled them. Never had she fought them with the intent to kill or leave, and now that was all that she did.

“Got nothing to say? Good, then leave me be,” Y/N grunted and attempted to step forth so she could walk past them, only to jump slightly when Will aimed his revolver right at her head. A shit-eating grin split the young woman’s face as she stared at the blacksmith’s serious face. “Oh, so you think a threat to my life is going to keep me from going?” Y/N asked and stepped closer, smirking as the gunslinger took a step back in retaliation. “How stupid could one man be?” fell from Y/N’s lips and it was the only warning the man got before suddenly she dashed at him, almost crouched on the ground to avoid any bullets aimed her way. 

“Here she comes!” roared Jack and dove before his companion, managing to block a blade meant for poor Will’s family jewels with his own sabre, yelping as a fist was aimed at his head. As Jack ducked to avoid it, poor Will faced his makers as he with a weak squeak fell onto his side, incapacitated. A loud snarl left Y/N throat as she aimed her cutlass for the captain on the ground, his shout of fear nothing but comical, only she had no time to laugh as he someone managed to spin on the ground, kicking her in the back of her knees. It gave the pirate just enough time to scramble to his feet before Y/N was after him, Elizabeth and Will forgotten as the two true pirates battled it out. 

“Honestly, love,” Jack said as he stepped backwards quickly, throwing crates and other sorts of distractions so that he would not be the one impaled on a blade next. “I think you’re overreacting quite a bit about the bullet,” Y/N burned with rage as she realised he believed that she was only angry for him shooting her, and had yet to realise what he had done to her before. A scream left the captain as suddenly Y/N snatched the gun from her holster, aiming it and pulling the trigger within a second. The only reason Jack was still alive was because Y/N’s revolver was still dripping wet. 

“I’m going to kill you, Sparrow!” roared Y/N in reply as she threw her revolver aside, effectively hitting Will right in the head. Y/N dashed for the pirate, swords clashing and sparks flying like fireworks at the sheer force of their impact. Jack was struggling to keep himself upright as the onslaught of Y/N’s weapons were like trying to fight the force of the sea. Elizabeth, who had been tending to will, came to his rescue.

“Y/N, stop! You’re acting like a madman!” she cried out as she swung her blade through the air, Y/N meeting it without looking. “Oh?” Y/N snarled and faced her childhood friend. “I’m the mad one, is that right?” she asked with a roar before she changed targets, Elizabeth crying out in surprise as she had yet to ever meet Y/N in a serious battle. Elizabeth realised just how important it was to have Y/N as a friend rather than a foe, as with Y/N before her as an enemy now, she feared for her life more than she had ever done before.

“Elizabeth!” both men shouted, and their calls for the woman only fueled Y/N’s fire, the hatred like black tar in the usually bright eyes. Elizabeth’s eyes widened in fear as suddenly her sword was flying through the air, the force of her opponent having knocked it right out of her hand. The metal vibrated as it dove into the ground, penetrating the old wooden planks until it was halfway to the hilt. The only reason the woman did not fall dead to the ground was because both Jack and Will had managed to get off their arses and were both grasping Y/N’s arms. 

“Y/N, stop it! What is wrong with you?” Will shouted as he desperately held her arms, surprised to find his childhood friend with more strength than he could ever imagine. At his words, she only fought back more fiercely, each breath heaved from her chest like an animalistic snarl. “I know I’m not the best one with words, but you definitely should not have said that,” Jack mused with a strained voice as with all his strength had to hold on. Elizabeth gazed at the woman, that stared at her with such anger she almost had a hard time believing Y/N had time and time again almost died to save her. Elizabeth slowly strode forth, fingers shaking as she hesitated to reach out to her friend, but the hint of remorse in those darkened eyes steeled her resolve.

“What happened to us?” Elizabeth whispered as she softly rested her hand upon Y/N’s warm cheek, the biting winds from the seas doing nothing to cool the fire which burned underneath her skin. For a moment, Y/N stilled, staring at her friend with clarity. Her struggles stopped, and the two men dared gaze at one another with a questioning glance before they loosened their hold. A grave mistake, as the moment Y/N could feel herself be released slightly the grief once more filled her eyes. She tore herself free from them, pushing them aside so that they stumbled and crashed into one another, Y/N spinning like a dance away from them whilst she sheathed her blades and found her revolver. With a light twirl, it too was put in its confinement. She gazed at the group, her heart breaking as she looked upon the three of them like the last time she had been awake. All together, both of her lost loves holding her childhood friend to protect her. It was an unbearable agony.

“I must agree with Jack,” Y/N dragged out her words as she gazed at the trio, tears burning in the back of her eyes as she forced them back. “Last time were were all together before you drugged me to sleep for gods know how many days, I explained everything. I proclaimed how I had loved you how I had been nothing to you because of Elizabeth,” she drawled before her eyes laid on the vast waters behind her, none of the others moving as Y/N hadn’t spoken this calmly since she left to meet Barbossa. 

“I told you, how I fell for Jack when he made me feel wanted. Like I wasn’t just brought along because they felt bad. They needed me there, they wanted me there. Jack wanted me,” she seemed to have grown tired in only the few seconds which she spoke, as she turned once more to face the other three, the lantern’s light reflecting in Y/N’s eyes. The sorrow and agony was clear in her eyes now, and finally, it clicked in their heads that she had actually meant what she said that day on the docks, so far away from here. “And you,” Y/N said and pointed at her lifelong friend with a trembling finger.

“You took them both away from me. I understand that the heart chooses over the mind, but you could at least once looked at me, and realised that the tears in my eyes were caused by you. By your indecisiveness that made my heart break over and over. I even told you I fancied Jack,” Elizabeth’s eyes grew wide as Y/N spoke, her mind searching for the crucial moment they spoke of and the memory of a cold, misty morning aboard their ship. She could remember vividly, how Y/N had told her that her heart had started beating for a certain captain, and how she believed he felt the same for her. 

“I-” Elizabeth began, flabbergasted by her own behaviour. How could she have forgotten such a thing, she wondered. After all, I had been the first time Y/N expressed how she had felt about someone romantically. Elizabeth knew that memory should have been burned into her mind. “You what?” Y/N asked and suddenly threw her hand to her face, roughly rubbing away what could only have been an escaped their. Three hearts cracked as they saw it, as Y/N had never let a single tear fall in front of them ever before. 

“That’s what I thought,” Y/N replied when Elizabeth couldn’t utter a word. Y/N stepped towards them, both Jack and Will coming to hover over Elizabeth protectively before they realised what they had done. Y/N momentarily stopped in her steps, the pure agonising sorrow shown so clearly on her face before she lowered her head and stepped past them. 

“Y/N,” Will began, only to be silenced as a blade’s tip hung by his throat. “Don’t,” Y/N replied, not even allowing herself to look at him as it would hurt far too greatly. “Just don’t,” came her whisper, uncharacteristically tiny compared to her usually booming and confident tone. “Oh, Y/N,” Jack whispered as his heart truly hurt upon hearing and seeing his most fierce and righteous Y/N like this. 

“Do not look for me,” Y/N sniffled and cleared her throat, blade back in its scabbard as she turned away from her friends, trying her best to not break down crying right before them. No one said a word, only confirming her fear that she wasn’t good enough for them. Because had she truly been worth enough, they would have grasped her and begged her to remain. “I wish you all the best,” Y/N continued, her breath choked in her throat as suddenly arms bound around her. She knew exactly who that was, and it tore her apart.

“I’m so sorry,” Elizabeth whispered as her head rested between Y/N’s shoulder blades, arms so tightly wound around her friend one would believe she was trying to kill her. Y/N knew it was because Elizabeth was afraid, feared that Y/N would never be part of her life again. Honestly, it was what she had believed she wanted all this time, but now when Elizabeth held her like she was her lifeline, Y/N didn’t know how she felt. Of course, she wished to be with her friends and those she had loved, however, the pain was too great.

“I can’t forgive you, Elizabeth,” Y/N whispered, hearing the heavy sobs that left her friend’s chest as she uttered the words Elizabeth never wished to hear. “Not right now,” Y/N continued and stepped through the protective embrace of her childhood friend, Elizabeth crying as she had no strength to hold her back. Y/N took another step, and with remorse realised she was free. She needed to leave but wished not to. She wanted to run into Elizabeth’s arms, to hug her and forgive her. Yet, her heart would not allow it, having grown determined after so many heartbreaks.

“I do not hate you, Elizabeth. I hope you know that,” Y/N said and turned to face the trio, the light from the lanterns reflecting the fat tears that streamed down her cheeks. “I could never do that. I love you too much to ever hate you. You’re my sister, even if our mother’s and fathers are not the same,” Elizabeth slumped onto her knees as she gazed at her dearest friend, the tears flowing from her eyes and her sobs to heavy they raked through her entire body. Jack and Will could say nothing and do nothing, as just like Elizabeth, they were filled with grief.

“Next time we meet, I hope we can see eye to eye as friends once more. But for now, I must heal,” Y/N said and one last time she grinned at them, that cheerful smile that would always make them grin back. But this time it did not, and as Y/N left they felt nothing but empty.

Y/N made her way back to the crowded streets, her tears having dried as she forced them back from whence they came. It would be unwise to show vulnerability amongst pirates, even those she knew. Her feet dragged her back to her favourite pub, closed for the night. With a heavy hand, Y/N knocked and was surprised to hear Mary’s footsteps when she should be dead asleep. The door swung open, the tavern-keeper stepping out with musket held firmly in hand. It fell upon gazing at the young woman before her, and Mary could tell without words Y/N was heartbroken.

“Come on in, lass. I’ll get you a warm place to sleep for tonight,” the older woman mused with a motherly whisper and Y/N stepped into her waiting arms. She cried for a long time that night, Mary there to hold her and soothe her tears through the darkness.

#pirates of the caribbean #potc #potc Jack sparrow #Potc Will turner #PotC William Turner #PotC Elizabeth Swann #Jack Sparrow #Will turner #William Turner #Elizabeth swann #will turner x reader #william turner x reader #Captain Jack Sparrow #jack sparrow x reader #captain jack sparrow x reader #jack sparrow x reader x will turner #x reader #pirates #reader insert #Y/N #angst #potc angst #william turner angst #will turner angst #jack sparrow angst #captain jack sparrow angst

[silverangel19]

Miritama Ib Au! 

Just a sketch, now I’ll just leave it as it is until months later.

It’s probably spoilers for people who don’t play Ib, so... if you don’t mind Ib spoilers ↓

END: FORGOTTEN PORTRAIT

Tamaki didn’t know why, but the man in the painting seemed very familiar to him... almost as if he knew him.

Looking at the painting, he felt a deep sorrow within his heart. The beautiful yellow and golden hues of the man’s hair and roses reminded Tamaki so much of the sun.

The... sun...

Tamaki’s throat felt constricted. He brought a hand up to his mouth to muffle a choked whimper and let out a soft gasp when he found his palm wet. Without realising when, tears had started cascading down his cheeks. The feeling in his heart intensified, evolving into an almost unbearable pain.

“Why...”

Tamaki’s whole body felt numb. Knees weak and shaking, he fell onto the floor, hands clutched tightly together against his chest where his heart was. 

He felt so empty. Like a part of him was missing. 

He had never felt such agony before.

No longer able to hold back, he let out heart-wrenching sobs that echoed throughout the whole gallery, uncaring of the visitors rushing to him in concern.

His anguished cries did not stop even as he felt hands pulling him up.

He cried and cried, lamenting over a loss unknown.

Tamaki didn’t even know why he felt such grief.

...

“M....ri...o?”

#miritama #amajiki tamaki #togata mirio #ib (game) #boku no hero academia #bnha #sketch #wip #i love angst #I'll come back to this during my next break #just typing down some parts so i don't forget

[sqewed0722]

I have a confession to make:  I was one of those who gladly anticipated the drama “Crash Landing On You” and looked forward to seeing Hyun Bin and Son Ye Jin in the series. I liked the premise and thought it would be interesting to watch the romance unfolding between a loyal, North Korean soldier and a pampered South Korean heiress.  

I tried to watch it as it aired but things got in the way and I ended up watching it in spurts after the drama had already ended. I liked it well enough, but not enough for it to actually make a lasting impression on me.  I loved the gorgeous location and cinematography was top-notch. Hyun Bin was both funny and charismatic as Captain Ri Jeong Hyeok, his comrades as equally funny in their attempts to understand Son Ye Jin’s Yoon Se Ri, this strange creature from the other side of the border who spoke in a strange accent and acted so differently from the women of the North.  Son Ye Jin was beautiful and the epitome of style as the heiress from Seoul who fell in love not just with Captain Ri but with his comrades as well, and learned to somehow appreciate the beauty in the simplicity of their lives.  

Yet despite the fact that CLOY had all the factors of the kind of drama that I would love, and Hyun Bin and Son Ye Jin had the chemistry for it, it wasn’t their story that made a deep impression on me. Rather, it was the secondary female character, Seo Dan, played by Seo Ji Hye, an actress I’ve never heard of.    

Seo Dan is the fiancée of Captain Ri, and they were betrothed by their parents when they were still in high school.  Seo Dan has always been in love with Jeong Hyeok, but he doesn’t care for her and only sees her as an obligation to his family.  Seo Dan is a cellist and loves classical music, like Jeong Hyeok, but somehow it never brought them closer.  

At first glance, Dan comes off as cold, aloof and arrogant, and so she is.  She is, after all, an heiress of the largest department store in Pyongyang, wealthy in a nation where most of the people do not own much in terms of personal wealth. Yet her cold exterior hides a vulnerable and insecure side. Seo Dan longs to be loved and accepted by Jyeong Hyeok and she has spent half of her life trying her best to win his heart.  

In the course of the story, she meets Gu Seung Jun (alias Alberto Gu), a con man who had once been engaged to Yoon Se Ri until Se Ri found out his real motives behind his desire to marry her and she terminated the engagement.  Seung Jun had used money he had stolen to flee and hide in North Korea.  His life gets entangled with Seo Dan because of their connection to Se Ri and Captain Ri.  In the process, Seung Jun falls in love with Dan and, though reluctantly at first, she learns to love him too.  But fate isn’t on their side, and just when Dan realizes her feelings for Seung Jun, he gets killed trying to save her.  

In the end, Dan decides to end her engagement to Captain Ri and live her life alone as an independent woman since she had lost the man she loved, who loved her in return.

Unlike most CLOY viewers and fans, I really didn’t care much for Gu Seung Jun’s character.  He was funny and could be charming, annoying at times, but to me, his importance lay in the fact that he awakened a side of Seo Dan that would have lain dormant if he hadn’t come into her life.  He made her realize how it felt to actually be loved by someone for herself and not for what she could give (money) or what she represented (power and influence).  He made her feel wanted and appreciated for who she was.  I wasn’t so much into their relationship, but I appreciated it for what it did for her.  Seung Jun was a catalyst for Seo Dan’s character growth.  I think, more than anything, he taught her how to love and appreciate a person in spite of them.  After all, Gu Seung Jun was everything that would have gone against Seo Dan’s values and upbringing.  

Seo Ji Hye actually made Seo Dan a very sympathetic character.  In the hands of lesser actresses, Seo Dan would have just been another villainess, a second lead competing for the affections of the male lead with the female lead.  She would have been deemed evil and inferior in all aspects by the viewers, no matter how beautiful or accomplished she may be.  But with Seo Ji Hye, Seo Dan wasn’t a caricature.  She was human.      

I think that was a major factor that made Seo Dan and Gu Seung Jun’s romance almost as compelling and interesting to the CLOY viewers. Its tragedy was juxtaposed with the happy-ever-after of Captain Ri and Yoon Se Ri, and to them it was just as unforgettable. (Of course, this being Kdrama, there has to be the token tragedy inserted into all the romcom sweetness and since that can’t come from the main leads, it was supplied by the secondary leads.)

In “Dinner Mate”, though, we see a totally different Seo Ji Hye as mobile content producer Woo Do-hee.  She’s still beautiful and statuesque, but where Seo Dan was all cold elegance and grace, Woo Do-hee is a bundle of energetic quirkiness and warmth. Gone are the fashionable trench coats, scarves and distinctly styled and colorful dresses of Seo Dan.  What we see now are jeans, slacks, and peasant blouses under vests, topped by coats and blazers.  And her hair is no longer immaculately combed and held back by jeweled barrettes and her makeup is no longer strong.  Do-hee’s naturally made-up face is framed by soft bangs and slightly wavy long hair that’s either held in a half-pony or full-ponytail. There are no barrettes to be seen anywhere.        

And Woo Do-hee smiles and laughs more readily than Seo Dan.  And she tends to make faces or pouts when she’s displeased.  Dan would never do that.  She’s very much in control of her emotions, down to the way they’re expressed on her face.  At most, she would have made a small moue of displeasure if annoyed or a close-lipped smile when pleased.  Do-hee, on the other hand, would either screech in indignation or smile up to her eyes.

But one thing that I’ve liked about how Seo Ji Hye portrays her roles is that she does them with such genuineness.    Regardless if she’s Seo Dan or Woo Do-hee, the sincerity of her character always comes across.  I especially notice this when she cries in her dramas.   Unlike other actresses who, even when they cry, still give off a feeling of detachment (as if their tears are merely superficial), Seo Ji Hye weeps with such deep-felt emotion.  Her pain and sorrow are just so palpable.  Her face literally crumples into tears.  (Well, she still looks gorgeous even after weeping but then, she’s just one of the lucky ones who couldn’t ugly-cry even if they tried.)

I remember feeling so bad for her as Seo Dan when she screamed and cried after Seung Jun died, and I felt just as bad for her when she wept when she was talking to Ah-young about the futility of pursuing her feelings for her dinner-mate, Kim Hae-kyung.    Something in the way she looks and the expression in her eyes make me feel that she’s no longer acting.  She seems to totally inhabit her character.

Another thing that I found wonderful about her is that, because she has this natural presence and charisma, she is able to establish chemistry with her co-stars, whether they be her love interest in the drama or just another character that her own character acts with.  I think that was the reason a lot of viewers got sold on the idea of the romance between Seo Dan and Gu Seung Jun.  She and Kim Jung Hyun made them a viable pairing. And now with “Dinner Mate’, she looks wonderful with Song Seung Heon and they work so well together.  Yet amazingly enough, she also looks great with Lee Ji Hoon. (Some viewers even jokingly said that since she also has great onscreen chemistry with APink member Son Na-eun who plays Song Seung Heon’s former lover, maybe there will be a plot twist and their characters end up together instead.  Ha-ha.)  

That’s why I find it strange that she doesn’t seem to be well-known as a lead actress, although she seems to have done her share of lead drama roles early in her career.  But then I’m not surprised.  She probably prefers doing character roles to lead female roles and that’s probably to her advantage artistically.  Supporting character roles would allow her to stretch her acting chops and give her greater flexibility and range.  And although she’s physically gorgeous, she does give this air of aloofness and strength, as well as cool elegance and grace.  Coupled with her low, husky voice, what comes across is the image of an independent woman who lives life on her own terms and can easily tell anyone to f*** off.  Not quite typical KDrama female heroine material.

In any case, I think she’s now one of my favorite Korean actresses and I do look forward to her next projects.  I hope she gets to do film projects or dramas at the level of my KDrama standard, “My Ahjussi”.  But I will always keep my fingers crossed that she reunites with Song Seung Heon.  They’re just magical together on and offscreen and I’d love to see them again in the future.  

#seo ji hye #will you have dinner with me #dinner mate #Crash Landing On You #CLOY #seo dan #woo do hee

[takeiteasypeasybaby]

Save Me: Chapter 35 - New World

~Hey guys! Chapter 35 is out now :) I hope everyone enjoys this one and has a great week~

Molly was finally starting to see the 'new world' take shape. A sense of community and fraternity was brewing because of Rick's leadership, but would this include Negan and his once Saviours?

With Maggie and Jesus now running Hilltop, everything seemed to fall into place.

There was still a lot of tension there between Maggie and Rick because of his decision to keep Negan alive but there was certainly hope in the air.

Maggie also believed in Rick's dream of a better future for all the communities, including the Sanctuary which was now practically a ruin.

But she couldn't force herself to return to Alexandria.

With Negan being there it would be too hard, plus she was needed at Hilltop now more than ever, to create a safe and stable environment for little Herschel.

But, because of this, Maggie had started to isolate Hilltop from Alexandria because of Rick and Negan and this hurt Rick deeply.

He just couldn't see Maggie's point of view, because he was so blinded by his determination to create Carl's vision and protect his memory.

I had left Alexandria for a few days to join Rick on his journey to Hilltop to talk to Maggie about potential trade agreements.

It also gave me time away to think about Negan and my future.

What if he had changed?

He still had a long way to go, but, if he was willing to cooperate with the others and show them who he really is, I know that eventually he could be a valued member of our community.

Of course, if I expressed these ideas to anyone but myself they would think that I was insane for believing that he could be redeemed.

But there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes that I'd never seen before.

I know that he will always be Negan and there was no changing that.

But what if he used his intelligence and leadership to help us and be a part of something where people can thrive?

I know that was what he wanted at the Sanctuary but with people constantly stepping out of line, that idea never stood a chance.

I just hoped that he thought about what I had said to him before I left, I hoped that he would show them all who he could be and who he always has been to me.

When we reached Hilltop, we were greeted by Tara and Jesus at the gates.

Tara squealed and pulled me into a tight hug.

I patted her on her back to let me go as I chuckled whilst regaining my breath.

When I looked back up I saw Cindy approaching us cheerfully as she wrapped her arms around Tara's waist and kissed her on the cheek.

I shot Tara a smirked look as if to say 'you finally told her! I'm so happy for you'.

I fist bumped Jesus as we smiled to each other and he led us up to the house where Maggie would be waiting.

I went with Rick to see Maggie and Herschel while Tara and Cindy waited outside for us.

I was apprehensive, I was worried that Rick would tell her about my meeting with Negan, assuming that Michonne had told him.

He kept quiet about that part, I guess he thought that would be too much for her.

He was right, but I still felt horrible about it.

When we walked up to the house, Maggie was sat in a rocking chair on the porch with Herschel cradled to her chest.

She looked so happy, so peaceful and calm.

I smiled as she looked over to us and waved.

We headed up the stairs and she got up to embrace both of us.

'Hey' I said smiling weakly, still racked with guilt.

'What brings you guys here?' Maggie said smiling as she bounced Herschel in her arms who was now gurgling and giggling with glee.

I looked at Rick to urge him to talk.

'I just wanted to ask you for a favour, but it can wait for now' he said, in awe of how much Herschel looked like Glenn.

Maggie smiled and handed him to Rick who took him in his arms gladly and snuggled him in.

'He's a little stinker' Maggie said playfully.

'He's perfect' Rick answered.

'He really is' I added smiling at him.

'Yeah, I think i'll keep him' Maggie said smiling as she took him back into her arms and set him down into his outdoor cot next to the rocking chair.

'Don't go running off' she said chuckling at her baby before she came to sit back into the rocking chair and Rick and I were standing.

Rick cleared his throat nervously and said softly 'now that Herschel is a little older and you're going on runs again, I'd love for you to visit Alexandria sometime if you're up for it'.

I looked at Maggie who was faced towards the sunlight and away from Rick's view.

'Judith talks about Aunt Maggie at Hilltop all the time, I'm surprised she still remembers you but she does' he added as Maggie sighed.

'Rick I can't, you know I can't. You came about something else?' she asked both of us.

'It can wait' I said softly looking between Maggie and Rick.

'I'm okay, just talk to me about something else, please?' she said sadly.

'Alright, well, I need your help fixing the bridge. Hilltop's thriving because of you, this place is doing better than anywhere else and you've been generous. Hilltop's given so much already but I'm asking for more' he said softly.

Maggie folded her arms and asked 'what?'.

'The Sanctuary is still short on food and a project like this takes a lot of people and supplies, I'm asking if you'll be generous again? If you'll stretch?' Rick continued.

I just watched Maggie's face change from content to annoyance.

'If our people wanna work on the bridge I won't stop them, but no more food and supplies without getting something back for it' she said sternly.

'What d'ya want?' Rick asked eagerly.

'If the Sanctuary needs food i'll give it to them, but they provide most of the labour on the bridge for us and they send over all the fuel they've been making from their dead corn' she added.

I knew Rick wouldn't be happy with this.

But her attitude towards the Sanctuary had changed, that had to count for something.

I wondered about Negan and whether she would ever accept him.

'The Sanctuary is barely holding on right now, we're obliged to help...' I added.

Maggie turned to me, slightly pissed off and said 'why? they surrendered. We didn't kill em, that's it. I can't solve other problems when I have things to take care of here'.

Yep, I was wrong, she still hated everything that Negan encompassed.

I understood, but it shattered me knowing that my happiness depended on the acceptance of others.

Maggie stood up suddenly and said the sun was setting and it was time to put the children to bed.

We nodded as she picked up Herschel and went inside.

Rick and I stayed outside and just felt defeated.

The bridge was almost finished but with Maggie and Jesus' help we could get it done in no time.

'What do we do now?' I said softly.

'We abandon the Sanctuary project' he said full of sorrow.

I frowned at this.

'What? I thought we were gonna make it part of our community?' I asked sternly.

'I know. But we need Hilltop's support more' he said as he opened the door to go back inside.

'So...what? Is that it? We let it fall to ruin?' I said with a now raised voice.

I hoped he didn't detect any emotion concerning Negan.

In truth, even though I hated him for what he did, I still couldn't stand the thought of him being sad in any way and losing the Sanctuary completely would break him.

'It's the only way' Rick said throwing his hands in the air.

Three months later...

A few months had passed and the Sanctuary had fallen completely now.

I spent many moments during that time thinking about how now it would be overrun by walkers and the crops would be dead and dried in the hot Virginian sun.

That place had harnessed so much pain and heartache for me and I couldn't imagine ever going back there but I still reminisced about the good times.

I recalled the energy and the loud booming sound of people talking in the main hall. Negan's room, my room.

I stopped myself before I got to the bad parts of my memory when I was snapped back to reality by the whooping and cheering of the crowd.

There we all stood, Alexandrians, Kingdommers, Saviours and those from Hilltop alike.

We all clapped and congratulated our fellow members of the living for the completion of the bridge.

Rick had made a speech which empowered all of us, even the most dedicated Saviours.

'I wish you were in charge' one Saviour whispered to me as he walked away with his friends.

I spun around quickly as he just shot me a knowing look.

'What?' I mumbled under my breath.

I recognised him, he was one of Negan's fan boys.

He must have thought that I was still with Negan, conspiring with him to restart the Saviours.

It was flattering that they still trusted and believed in me considering I had shot their beloved leader before I left.

But the Saviours were gone and all that remained was a future where we were all on one side, the living.

I felt hopeful again, Rosita just told me of her pregnancy and I cried happy tears for her and Gabriel.

I was surprised by their relationship but they love each other, though they kept it a secret from everyone for almost a few months.

We had sat down and talked for hours, she had also told me that Gabriel wasn't the father, but it was Siddiq.

They had slept together once after a load of rum and it was a mistake but when she fell pregnant, she found solace in Gabriel's prayer and compassion and she fell for him.

I had never thought of motherhood for myself before that moment when she told me.

As much as I wanted to smile and feel completely happy for Rosita, it just made me realise that I would never have that with Negan.

He wasn't exactly the father type, he was good with kids but having one of his own?

I must have been crazy to even think about that, not to mention the fact that everyone would hate me for having a baby with him.

We weren't even together anymore and I still felt myself pondering over the thought of us being a family.

Rick dismissed us all and on the walk back to Alexandria I kicked some pebbles as I thought about him.

Nothing more than a dream, I told myself, nothing more than a dream.

When we got back to Alexandria, Rick had told me he was worried about Daryl after their scuffle about Maggie and Negan.

I knew Daryl must have confessed to Rick about the Saviours they killed to cause them to actually fight because they rarely did.

Daryl was on Maggie's side and they wanted Negan dead but they would never actually act on it, they were just angry at Rick's decision.

But, the fact that Daryl actually outright questioned Rick when after all these years he's followed him no matter what, says something.

I hoped that they knew that keeping Negan alive wasn't about any of us, but the future.

I knew that Daryl and Negan would never be best friends, hand in hand, skipping down the streets of Alexandria.

But I had hoped that sometime in the distant future they could be civil and see Negan for who he is to me, and who he could be to them...

#negan #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #twd #the walking dead #negan's thirst squad #mollychambler #tara chambler #negan x original female character #rick grimes #daryl dixon #smut

[fraink5-writes]

Blue Ceiling - Tablet III

Anyone else crying in the club about today’s Babylonia episode? Read this chapter to see good things happen to Kingu.

Of course, thanks a whole lot to my fantastic editor, @leio13

Summary: Expecting to become king of the merpeople as son of Tiamat, Kingu is suddenly forced to give up his tail and to go the surface to restore humanity’s disregarded respect for the Goddess of the Sea. However, he severely underestimates the Uruks’ willpower, especially that of their stubborn king, Gilgamesh.

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Kingu woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling. There was neither the privacy of Gorgon’s home nor the warmth of Shamhat’s. Once again, Kingu was without a home. The room was nearly empty save an overbearing silence.

Kingu’s legs cried out in pain as they did on the first day. They had brought him nothing but suffering. He wanted to cut them off. 

Even then, he could not be a merman again. He was stuck in a useless human body, but even the humans wouldn’t accept him. He had always been an outsider. Maybe he would live as a monster like Gorgon. Gorgon was strange company, but he found himself missing her in his isolation. They had been outcasts together, but now they were just alone.

At least, Kingu thought staring at the apathetic ceiling, he had Tiamat. He hazily recalled her sorrowful song; was she lonely like him? Certainly, she understood him better than anyone else, and that’s why she chose him. Tiamat trusted him with this mission, so he would carry it out for her. Whether he was a merman, a human, or neither, he was Tiamat’s son. That knowledge warmed his cold loneliness.

Kingu watched the shadow cast by the window as it moved across the floor until his meditation was interrupted by footsteps. A woman’s voice appeared in the doorway, “Oh good! He’s awake.”

Two people entered the room: the distraught brunette woman from the other day and Gilgamesh. Kingu closed his eyes and turned away; he had no business with Gilgamesh, but curiosity forced him to peak and see what they were up to.

The intruders had approached Kingu’s bed, and then the woman elbowed the king, an action certainly warranting the death penalty.

But Gilgamesh just grumbled to himself then spoke aloud, “Siduri requested that I apologize for yesterday.” The king seemed to struggle between his lack of desire to apologize and the appearance of his authority. 

“Ahem.” Siduri forced a cough. 

“Yesterday, I invited you to my home, but you were met with hostility instead of hospitality. That was unacceptable.” Gilgamesh’s curt “apology” was accompanied by rolled eyes.

Siduri sighed then turned her attention to Kingu. “I hope you are feeling better today.”

“No,” Kingu mumbled, not in the mood for playing at courtesy.

Gilgamesh opened his mouth, but he was preemptively silenced by a sharp glare from Siduri.

“We’re truly, deeply sorry for what happened yesterday,” Siduri continued, bowing her head. “And, we also are here to inform you that you’ll be living here from now on.”

“Huh?” Kingu snapped out of his fake sleep.

“We’re sorry it’s not much,” Siduri bowed her head again, “but Shamhat is busy with her work, and so it would be more convenient for you to live here. We hope you understand.”

Shamhat’s job… Shamhat had been so generous with Kingu; it never occurred to him that he was inconveniencing her. Shame floated up to his cheeks.

“If there’s anything you need, King Gilgamesh would be more than willing to provide. It’s the least he could do after what happened yesterday.”

If the glower on Gilgamesh’s face was any indicator, he was not ‘more than willing,’ but Siduri seemed to have some influence over him, so maybe it wasn’t out of the question. 

“Let’s see…” Kingu shot Gilgamesh a smug look while running through the possibilities. He wanted to ask for something outrageous.

“Oh yes, one last thing,” Siduri interrupted. “To make up for yesterday, King Gilgamesh has offered to show you around Uruk, since you are still new here.”

Somehow Siduri’s offer was more outrageous than anything Kingu had come up with himself, yet he definitely wasn’t interested. Unfortunately, it did not seem like declining was an option. 

“We will be back in a few days when you are feeling better.” Siduri spared Kingu, if only temporarily.

“Don’t make me wait too long, mongrel.” Gilgamesh muttered and left.

“Please rest well!” Siduri called before chasing Gilgamesh with a look of embarrassment.

***

After a few days, Kingu was capable of walking around his barren home although not without pain. But there was not much else to do besides wander in circles—“pacing,” as the humans would call it. So when an unfamiliar knock sounded against the door, he bounded to answer it. Finally free from his boredom. “Hel—… lo.” 

Gilgamesh stared silently at him.

“Where’s Siduri?” Kingu demanded.

“She’s busy—is that a proper way to greet a king?”

“You didn’t even say ‘hello,’” Kingu grumbled. “Anyway, what do you want?”

“I’m going to give you a tour of Uruk.”

He meant that? Kingu studied the king for any tells. Surely, this was a joke.

“Don’t be ungrateful, mongrel. Who do you think has been providing your food and medicine every day?”

Well, the one who had been checking up on him, bringing food and medicine, was “Sidu… ri?”

“IDIOT! She’s only been delivering them!”

Kingu paled. To think he had fallen so low as to depend on the arrogant, human king!

“What’s wrong? Has your brain finally stopped working entirely?” Gilgamesh wore a surprising grin. “Hurry up. I don’t have that much time to waste.”

Kingu took Gilgamesh’s cue and turned back into the house to match his presentation to the king’s standards, taking the opportunity to regain his scattered composure. 

“Oh? I didn’t think you could do it,” Gilgamesh remarked as Kingu stepped out the door.

“Do what?”

“Put together a look that’s worthy of standing by my side.”

The king continued on, but the rest was lost on Kingu, who was shocked by the double-edged compliment. His face flushed a deep red.

“Anyway, let us begin.” Gilgamesh paid Kingu’s embarrassment no heed as he started his tour. “This house is on the outskirts of town, so we will head inwards, towards the center, and then back out.”

Kingu had not once left his home, so everything was new to him. It did not matter what direction they went in.

“That,” Gilgamesh pointed down the road, “is one of Uruk’s greatest prides.”

A brick wall. But it didn’t suffice to call it simply a wall. The wall was thick enough for tiny people to patrol on top. It was tall enough to cast a shadow over the nearby buildings. And it was long enough to extend indefinitely past Kingu’s field of vision.

“It is the great wall which protects all of Uruk.”

“Protects?” The giant wall was an enigma to Kingu. There was no wall which surrounded Atargata, only the endless sea. To Kingu, the wall was just a cage.

“Yes, protects. From beasts and enemy peoples.”

So the humans weren’t united? This was another shock for Kingu. To think they would fight and kill each other… How savage. Kingu could not hide his displeasure from his face.

“What’s with that face? We haven’t had a war in years. So long as that wall exists, the people of Uruk can live in peace.”

Then the wall was anything but a cage; it really was a shelter.

“Anyway, we’re heading in the other direction. There’s no point in leaving the city so soon. Come on.” Gilgamesh called Kingu and led him towards the center of Uruk.

The city of Uruk was organized very simply. Its residents were sorted into districts by occupation, which surrounded the central districts. Most remarkably, the city was crisscrossed with artificial waterways. Kingu scoffed at the sight; the humans had left the sea only to bring it right to their doorsteps. The other merfolk would have been offended by the canals—“how dare the insolent humans try to control the blessings of Tiamat!”—but Kingu was a bit grateful. He missed the sea.

Kingu would have been content to study at the man-made flow of water throughout the entire tour, but circumstances wouldn’t allow it.

“Oh, is that King Gilgamesh?”

“Your majesty!”

“What an honor!”

As Gilgamesh passed through each district, he created a commotion each time. Laborers stopped working, housewives and children appeared in the doorways of their homes, and people from anywhere and everywhere poured into the streets to greet their king. Kingu expected Gilgamesh to swat them all away, but instead, he turned towards Kingu, grinning, and proclaimed, "Look at all the diligent, loyal citizens of Uruk!" He turned back to the crowd, occasionally calling out to one person or another by name (and not the expected "mongrel")  and asking about business. By the time they reached the central districts, Kingu, as much as he learned about Uruk, was even less certain of the king's character.

While surely big enough to qualify as districts, the central districts would be more aptly called monuments. One was an enormous, terraced pyramid built from clay. At the top of the sky-reaching steps sat a white, stone building. The other was a bigger mystery, for all Kingu could see were the stone walls. The white face of the wall was covered in imagery and statues, suggesting something even grander lay inside. Simple but tall, ostentatious but flat; the two structures balanced each other.

"Are those temples?" Kingu wondered aloud.

"Relics," Gilgamesh snapped. "Relics of when people cowered before mere fantasies.” He inspected them with irritation. “They serve no purpose in my Uruk. They would be more useful torn down and rebuilt as new districts for the working population."

If these temples were really built for Tiamat, it would only advance her rage to tear them down. Then, she would mercilessly re-establish her authority. "I wouldn't do that—"

"Would you shut up about that?” Gilgamesh turned his contemptuous gaze to Kingu. “It's annoying. What were you—a priest?—before you hit your head?"

Why did Kingu even bother? The man next to him epitomized human arrogance, the reason Kingu was sent to the surface in the first place. He doubted humanity could ever get saved. 

Kingu didn’t say anything; he didn’t want to entertain Gilgamesh’s hubris anymore. It was annoying enough that he predicted what Kingu was going to say. He’s aware of the voice of reason, but he willfully chooses to ignore it—how foolish. 

“Stop gawking and come with me. Let me show you something more impressive.” After demanding Kingu to follow him, Gilgamesh headed outwards once again. They marched in silence until they had reached the base of the wall. “We’re going up.”

Although there was no practical value to this part of the tour, so long as Gilgamesh was his guide, Kingu could make no objections, so he followed the king up the stairs. Instead of looking outward, Gilgamesh pointed Kingu to the city which they had spent all day walking through. The sun, still high in the sky, was now shining down from the west. The sprawl of brick buildings radiated under its light. From above, Kingu could make out hundreds of tiny gardens which had been hidden from the street. He identified each district by their unique characteristics. With Gilgamesh out of the way, the people had returned to their work, but there were plenty on the streets: vendors, errand-runners, playing children. Tiny, swift, and graceful, the busy Uruks reminded Kingu of the fish in Atargata. 

Gilgamesh beamed as he watched his city. Without sparing even a glance for Kingu, he declared with exaggerated gestures, as though giving a speech to the people down below, "Look at the great city of Uruk! Its protective walls, its sturdy buildings! Its prosperity and its peace! Did any goddess build that? No, it was the Uruks who built this marvelous city. Look at how the little people work, content and undeterred. They don't need any goddess. They are working towards the future. Don't you see? Trembling in fear of the Goddess is the past; the future is the path upon which humanity walks, and Uruk is at the forefront.”

So that was the nature of the golden king Gilgamesh—a man overflowing with pride. His pride exceeded himself, stretching even beyond the walls of Uruk to its fertile plains, and, from it, his authority as king was born. Kingu had mistaken his remarks for selfish hubris, but it was the pride of his people. 

Kingu stared in awe at the golden king besides him. His radiance seemed to eclipse the sun. 

Finally, Gilgamesh acknowledged Kingu. "To suggest otherwise is an insult to the hardworking citizens, past and present. Don't do it again."

Kingu could only nod.

***

Something about Uruk changed for the remaining duration of the tour; the wall seemed grander, the people working harder, the farms more bountiful. Gilgamesh and Kingu had left the walled city, explored the farmland which surrounded it, and were drifting along the river which gave Uruk its vitality: the Euphrates. The water’s surface was remarkably different than its depths. The small ripples glistened under the sun’s rays. On top of it all floated an image of Kingu’s face. His reflection wore a small grin, which was unfamiliar to even Kingu. How he had missed the water. He reached his hand, stroked the waves, then dipped his fingers into the cool current. His fingers seemed to bend—Kingu recoiled his hand. He was sure he held them straight in the water (which was confirmed when he pulled them out), so why did they appear to bend under the water?

Gilgamesh threw back his head with laughter. “What happened? Afraid of your own reflection?!”

“No-no way!” Unable to directly fight the accusation, Kingu turned away and stared back into the water. Gilgamesh couldn’t call him a coward like this. He plunged his fingers back into the water and watched them bend again. He was determined to figure out the mystery. He repeated this several times, but while the phenomenon continued, there was no suggestion as to why. 

“Now what? Are you fighting?”

“N-no! I’m just studying it.” Kingu did not look up from his “study;” instead, he just leaned closer to the water, trying to ignore Gilgamesh’s ridicule. From such a close distance, maybe he could see the river’s contents. 

Kingu hit the water with a splash before he could realize what had happened. His body had completely submerged, and for a moment, it was tranquil, surrounded by the sea’s nostalgic embrace.

Then Kingu opened his mouth, and the scorching water flooded in. It weighed in his lungs like a bunch of bricks, smothering them.

Why? Why?! Why?! He was a merman. He was the son of Tiamat.

No, he was just a human.

The water, cold and unforgiving, crushed him like a pest to be disposed of.

Kingu needed to be free. On land. He thrashed, again, again, again. 

Then a wave of darkness.

***

Something warm wrapped around Kingu’s wrist, jolting energy into him, and yanked him out of the water. "I didn't permit you to die yet." Kingu knew that voice. Golden hair. Red eyes. ...Gil…?

Before he could fully make sense of his surroundings, Kingu doubled over, retching out the water which sat in the bottomless well of his lungs. Each draw of water was more painful than the last. 

When the coughing fit finally subsided, he fully registered Gilgamesh sitting across from him, a slight scowl on his face.

"… Why did you save me?" Kingu croaked.

"You're too entertaining to let die yet," Gilgamesh responded offhandedly, then muttered. "...besides, now you can't say that you saved my life."

"Huh?” Kingu gaped. “Are you really that petty?!"

"A king can't be in a mongrel's debt."

"But you do admit that I saved you.” Kingu would not live this down. “You know, normal people say 'thank you.'"

"Are you really that petty?” Gilgamesh gibed. “And I haven't heard you say 'thank you' yet either."

Kingu was not going to say that—not until Gilgamesh owned up to his own gratitude. 

Gilgamesh just sighed. “You got a closer look at Euphrates than expected,” he snickered, “But it can’t be helped. We should head back now.”

Kingu nodded. He couldn’t wait to be free. But then a group of men on boats caught his eye. “Wait. Are those fishermen?”

“Oh, we didn’t see them before.” Gilgamesh remarked, uninterested.

“Can I try?”

“What?” Gilgamesh stared at Kingu. “Do you want to go for another ‘swim?’”

“No. I want to try.”

“Fine.” Gilgamesh waved his hands apathetically. “But if you fall in again, you better hope one of those men is going to rescue you.” Despite his griping, Gilgamesh talked to the nearby fisherman and procured a spear for Kingu. “Show me what you can do, mongrel.”

Although incensed, Kingu pretended to ignore Gilgamesh’s provokation. He dipped the spear into the water, and as he expected, it seemed to bend upon entering the water. Nothing he couldn’t work with. He watched a decently sized fish, a barbel, swim towards him, closer, closer, closer, and then, he skewered it. 

“Aha!” Pulling the spear from the water, he beamed (somewhat maliciously) at Gilgamesh. “Hungry?”

For a few seconds, the king’s chin hung agape, and that was enough to transform Kingu’s ordinary feat into a great triumph.

“You got lucky,” Gilgamesh mumbled.

But within minutes, Kingu had pulled another barbel from the river. Then another, and another, and another. 

“Alright, enough!” Gilgamesh groaned. “I get it.”

Content with the king’s surrender, Kingu sat back down. “Here, you can give it back.”

Gilgamesh rolled his eyes. “Keep it.”

“Huh?”

“From now on, you’re going to join them.”

Kingu’s face lit up. Then he smirked. “So, I’m good, right?” Gilgamesh would have no choice but to acknowledge Kingu’s talents.

“As long as you’re living in Uruk, you need to be a productive member of society.”

Gilgamesh’s disregard of Kingu’s showing off was more crushing than Kingu wanted it to be. Not wanting to linger on it, he hastily moved on. “Man, these look good. I could eat one right now.” 

And he would have if Gilgamesh hadn’t raised an eyebrow. “Right now?”

“Why?” Kingu was bewildered.

“You don’t want to smoke them at least?”

“Oh.” So that’s what the humans did. Kingu’s face went red with the realization. “Yes, of course, I do!” He bluffed. “It was just an exaggeration.”

“Well, if you don’t know how to cook them, ask someone.” Gilgamesh muttered. “You should also learn how to swim soon.” Without another word, he began rowing back towards the city. They continued in a peaceful silence all the way to Kingu’s door. 

“Mongrel,” Gilgamesh called out before leaving.

Oh, how Kingu wished he didn’t respond to that. But it was too late. “What?”

“You weren’t half bad today.”

Kingu’s heart stopped for several endless moments.

“If you want to learn how to use that spear, I will teach you.”

Kingu only half-processed the words, but they threw him into a greater panic. 

“Don’t just stand there like an idiot!” Gilgamesh barked. “Or I’ll take the offer back.”

“Yes! I would like to!” Kingu blurted out.

“Excellent. Then I will send for you when I have time.” With that, Gilgamesh left.

...What? Did Gilgamesh just praise Kingu? And did Kingu just agree to meet him again? Kingu was undeniably an idiot—an idiot for making plans with Gilgamesh of all people, and an even bigger one for getting so worked up in the first place. 

No, Kingu tried to reassure himself, he needed to be on the king’s good side to carry out his mission. But before he worried about Gilgamesh, he needed to shape up.

***

Kingu did not find the idea of raw fish to be so objectionable (he ate them all the time in Atargata), but, in an effort to blend in, he tried smoking them as Gilgamesh had suggested. They usually ended up charred. Fortunately for him, Shamhat paid Kingu a visit one evening, volunteering to cook dinner: a one-night reprieve. As expected, Shamhat’s cooking was leagues above Kingu’s. The savory flavor brought back memories of Kingu’s first few days in Uruk, staying in Shamhat’s home. 

“Um, Shamhat,” Kingu began, confidence disappearing by the millisecond. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Oh, you’re welcome!” Shamhat smiled. “It was my pleasure.”

“I’ve been an interruption to your job and routine, so… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Shamhat replied as though the words Kingu had struggled to say were a simple matter. “I can take days off sometimes, you know? Besides, I have something I should be apologizing about.”

“Huh? Why?”

“About the other day…” Shamhat maintained eye contact as she spoke. “While I really appreciate you standing up for me, you were put in danger because of me. I’m sorry to have—”

“Don’t apologize!” Why did she have to apologize for what that pompous egoist did? “Someone had to stand up to that narcissist!”

“I see.” Shamhat laughed. “If you feel that way, I’m glad. Thank you.”

“Besides, I’m better now. Nothing to worry about!”

“You know, I’m glad that you and King Gilgamesh are getting along now.”

Kingu blinked. “We are?”

“Yes, he said good things about you.”

“He did?”

“Let’s see.” Shamhat tilted her head. “That you can’t swim… that you have an absurd fear of fantasies… that you have a serious attitude problem…”

“Which of those are good things?”

“Well, he said them all smiling.” Shamhat conveyed no doubt in her theory. “I think he likes you.”

“Great.”

Shamhat would have certainly known more about Gilgamesh than Kingu, but perhaps, just this once, she was wrong.

“Besides, he invited you to see him again, didn’t he?”

“...Yeah…” Kingu didn’t want to think about that incident again. 

“See? I’m sure he’s fond of you! Oh, come on! Don’t be like that. It’s a rare honor to make acquaintances with the king like this.”

Shamhat had a point. Kingu should have appreciated that the circumstances were now in his favor, but, at the moment, his mind was caught up with other things. “About Tiamat,” Kingu posed the question hesitantly, “Do you believe in the goddess?”

“Tiamat?” Shamhat pondered over the question. “I guess she could exist. It’s possible that a goddess created us people and put us on land. But you see, even if she does exist, she hasn’t done anything for us in a long time. Our ancestors built this city, and we work hard to keep advancing under the guidance of our king. We built our fortunes ourselves. So, it’s hard for me to believe.��

Gilgamesh had said the same thing the other day. The Uruks had long been independent. It was no surprise then that they couldn’t remember anything Tiamat had done for them. More than that, the Uruks were proud. They believed in their capabilities as humans and that they could advance through those abilities and willpower alone. There was no room for a distant entity like Tiamat in their tale of success.

“You’re a believer, right?” Shamhat continued. “I don’t think it’s wrong to believe. But just, maybe don’t mention it in front of Gilgamesh.” She winked.

That was for certain. The king took pride to a whole new level. 

“But King Gilgamesh is right. There’s something weird about you.”

“What do you mean?” Kingu demanded.

“Well, you appeared suddenly without memories and without basic knowledge. You couldn’t even walk. But nevertheless, you have strangely specific beliefs, skills, and knowledge. Just who were you before?”

Kingu frowned. Maybe Shamhat would believe him. No, he couldn’t tell her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you!” Shamhat rapidly changed tones. “Don’t worry about it, okay? There’s no use in fretting over what you can’t remember. What’s important is that you’re here now and what you do with that. You know, people don’t have a lot of time on this land, so we must make the most of it!”

Kingu had not given a single thought to the human lifespan, but it truly was short—lamentably so. Nevertheless, they were undeterred. The humans must have done more work in their lives than any of the complacent merpeople had done in the past two hundred years. They built Uruk, which must have taken generations to reach its current state (the founders were certainly dead). In fact, they were still working on it, even if they would die so soon. So that was the future they worked for, not only for themselves, but for their offspring too. It all seemed so foreign to Kingu, yet he felt deeply ashamed for not having realized it.

“Kingu?” Shamhat had inched forward to inspect Kingu’s hidden face.

“I’m sorry,” Kingu mumbled.

“Huh? No, no, I am the one who’s sorry. I really didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Kingu curbed his regret before looking up. “No, it’s fine. You’re right, Shamhat. It’s good to keep moving forward.”

#Fate series #Fate/Grand Order #Gilkingu #Kingu #Gilgamesh #Siduri #Shamhat