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jj-one · 9 days

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𝑪𝑹𝑨𝒁𝒀, 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑷𝑰𝑫, 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 🎬 ⋅˚₊ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

PT. 1 / please read part 1 before continuing, this won’t make sense as a stand alone !

The model life has never crossed your mind but the moment Jungkook laid his eyes on you he knew you were perfect. He was willing to go great lengths to get you on board, even developing a connection with you that could ultimately lead to one of you getting hurt.

── ✧ ˚. ꒰ pairing ꒱ ˒˓ modeling scout!jungkook ˒˓ model!f!reader ˒˓ strangers to enemies to lovers, jk is in his early 30's and reader is early 20's genre/tags. angst, (some) fluff, a lot of smut, cheating, mentions of past trauma, small mentions of alcohol and drug usage, mentions of y/n crying, themes of anxiety and depictions of panic attacks, oral (m & f receiving), katoptronophilia, daddy kink, public sex, you give jk road head lol, piv, unprotected sex (we should know by now that this is wrong!), left y’all with a bad cliffhanger yet again lmao i can’t help it words. 14.6k

A blank stare is met with you from your confrontation. The man who you thought you knew, was now standing over you with the most dumbfounded look.

“Wh— what do you mean, y/n?” Jungkook asks, arching his brows in confusion, you wished it was easier for you to handle this.

As much as you envisioned yourself doing so, you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to face the man in front of you. Your flight or fight instincts were starting to kick you into flight mode since you didn’t have much fight left within you. What’s the point anymore? It was only going to end in disaster anyway, as most do your attempts at finding happiness do.

“I really think you should just leave now Jungkook…” your voice trails off as you look at the ground, unable to bear him a clear answer to your sudden awkward behavior. That voicemail of his wife kept replaying in your head, you wanted to breakdown and cry, the woman sounded so sweet and was probably such a good wife to him. Though, you don’t know for certain what goes on behind the scenes, she seemed like a nice person, it just made you feel more shameful. You felt awful for possibly being a home-wrecker now, and it’s only making you want him out of your sight even more.

“But what do you mean by the truth? Talk to me y/n, I would never lie to you I-”

You cut him off instantly, snapping at him for the last line, which was obviously another blatant lie. “Please get the fuck out and just let me process this or it’s going to get really ugly!”

You didn’t mean to growl at him like that at the end, turning more hostile by the second, but you were practically at your wits end with him right now. The constant lying was just too much, you don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

“I’ll go, but can you at least just tell me what I did wrong this time? I’m so confused by you y/n, why are you always like this?” He was so clueless and unfazed of the fact that you didn’t even know his biggest secret, it made you want to scream at him more.

“Why am I like this? Why are you like this?! Do you not foster a guilty conscience at all? You should feel sick for cheating on your wife!” You couldn’t hold it in anymore, there’s no going back from this and now he’s forced to come clean.

Once finally addressing the elephant in the room the air was filled with complete, utter silence. His more collected and calm demeanor instantly shifts from before, pausing for a moment and breaks his steady eye contact with you. You knew immediately once you drop that information he wouldn’t be able to face you with such confidence.

“How…did you…even figure that out?” The look on his face was priceless as his dirty laundry has been finally aired out. His mouth wide open with shock, his body tensed up from the panic settling in, already knowing how bad this situation could ensue.

“You shouldn't leave your phone lying around, idiot.” You point to his phone that’s still on the ground, “maybe take it in the shower with you next time, you cheating liar!”

“W-wait back up, you went through my phone? That’s not cool y/n!” Jungkook’s face was beet red from embarrassment and now yours was too. You both got called out for doing bad things but his ‘bad thing’ is much more extreme and serious than yours will ever be.

“She called you like eight fucking times, I thought it could’ve been one of your clients or something!”

Jungkook kept pacing around your room still in disbelief of it all, the only word he could muster up was a simple “wow…” His silence was saying a lot right now and from the looks of it he wasn’t going to give you much further explanation. Even so, it wouldn’t be enough for you to forgive him, he’s not only hurt you but his innocent wife, that’s unforgivable in your eyes.

“I want you out of my apartment now!” Raising your voice several more octaves, you open your bedroom door to let him freely walk out but he tries one last time in attempt to plead with you.

“Please, y/n I can explain if you let me..”

“What the fuck is there to explain?�� You scoff, annoyed by his efforts, “the explanation is already right there!”

“I’m going to be fully honest with you now, okay? I’ve been with my wife for 3 and a half years and it’s probably been the worst mistake of my life. My parents basically forced me into this marriage to begin with. I didn’t have much of a choice, I never loved her— I don’t even know why I ended up stayed for this long. I’m trying to get a divorce soon, i’m filing the papers next week and we’re technically already separated as I’ve told her many, many times how this isn’t going to work. At this point it’s strictly for appearances that we’re still “together” …she’s an actress so I need to make sure I don’t ruin her public image with a messy divorce or any bad scandals.” He finishes his explanation and you were now even taken more aback by everything.

How come just didn’t say any of this beforehand? It would’ve saved him a lot of trouble than just waiting for you to find out, because even the sneakiest people have to face their consequences eventually. You don’t know the whole gravity of the situation nor how much say he had in this marriage but him talking so casually about divorcing his wife wasn’t sitting right with you. You didn’t fully understand everything but one thing you knew for sure was that he’s the world’s biggest liar. From the moment you met Jungkook he has been doing nothing but lying and keeping this giant secret from you. It didn’t matter how complex it was, the fact that he couldn’t just be up front about his relationship status made you more angry, made you feel more stupid for falling for him. You were definitely not someone with the highest moral compass and you probably wouldn’t have judged him had he have been honest, maybe you’d save yourself the pain and not have slept him— but now that more feelings are involved, you feel trapped.

“You truly disgust me, that’s really all I have left to say.” Once again attempting to kick the man out of your apartment but he begs you to hear him out, holding the door in place to eventually shut it closed behind him.

“Look, I know how bad this sounds and you have every right to be angry with me y/n, but everything’s just so…complicated right now..” He reluctantly continues, “I do regret you had to find out this way, but as I said before I don’t love her anymore— if I ever did honestly. I’d just like to move on… possibly with you once everything gets finalized.”

You’re unsure to believe if Jungkook really does have genuine feelings for you or if you’re just another one of his many pawns. If he was capable of lying to you for so long then pretty much anything else was on the table.

“Jungkook, do you not realize how shitty I feel for doing all of this? This was all practically my fault, if I didn’t invite you over this would’ve never happened and I—”

“Absolutely none of this is your fault y/n? All the blame is on me, you don’t owe her any loyalty. I’m the one who made the decision at the end of the day. I’m sorry for not telling you, I just didn’t know how to bring it up…which is why I kept denying my feelings to deter you from even trying to pursue me, I really tried to keep it strictly business but you were making it so hard for me to resist.”

It all made sense to you now. Those moments he’d act like a complete jerk to you for no reason, those were the times he wanted you the most. It’s crazy to think that his plan would actually end up having the opposite effect on you, but you do tend to gravitate towards toxic behaviors because that’s all you knew for most of your life.

“Is this what you were so scared of?” You ask, finally mustering up the courage to face him once again, “I’m an understanding person, I wouldn’t have judged if you told me... I just don’t appreciate you lying to me, please promise to never do that again.”

Jungkook takes both your hands in the palms of his, slowly parting his lips to speak, “I won’t lie to you again y/n, I promise. You have my every word on that.” He solemnly swears, you really wanted to believe what he was saying but you felt indifferent. There was still a heavy, cinder block weight on your shoulders.

“Also…we kinda have a shoot in less than 5 hours and we really need to get going soon.” Jungkook changes the subject to work now, you almost completely forgot that this man was still your modeling agent and boss.

“Fuck.. I really have to do a shoot today?!” You were definitely not in the mood to see or interact with anyone. You wanted to keep talking to Jungkook about where you both stand, the more clarity you get the better, but work is starting to interfere with this now.

Simply sighing and nodding your head to his pleas for you to go through with this shoot, you grab a few things quickly to leave your apartment with him.

A raging headache was beginning to induce your brain. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how bright these vanity lights on the mirror are. To keep you somewhat relaxed you close your eyes while the person styling your hair puts tiny strands in neat sections. Your mind kept racing and all you could think about was your earlier confrontation with Jungkook. You haven’t seen him since you got here, your phone was dead because your idiotic self forgot to charge it last night and now had no one to talk to. Everything about this situation was eating you up from the inside and it was becoming even harder to act completely normal.

When your hair was done a new stylist came in to do your makeup, they brought a huge makeup kit and started with your brows. This was your life now, sitting in a chair like an achromatic robot for hours on end getting the most tedious things done after the next. You weren’t the best at sitting still for long periods of time and this job consisted of mostly that/being on your feet all day, it was tiring but you had to remain focused.

Jungkook was now making you take classes to perfect your model walk since he wants you to partake in this fashion show for his new campaign. He wants you to be the opening for the show but you were really nervous about that idea, you don’t like all the attention drawn on you. You’ve never pictured yourself being on a stage in front of loads of people, let alone the most important fashion moguls in the industry— it was never your vision but Jungkook had other plans for you.

He would always say how someone as beautiful as you deserved to be seen on billboards, front covers of magazines, and so much more. He actually believed in you, more than anyone else did in your entire life and that’s why you continued to stay with him. He knows exactly how to make you feel adored, like you’re the only person in the whole world.

When the makeup artist was finally finished with your look, another person came in. This time however, it was your new favorite person from work to see you now. It was see your personal stylist Yeonjun who came walking through the door, meeting you with open arms to give him a big hug. You were glad to finally see one of your work friends since you didn’t have very many, you mostly talked to Yeonjun or Jungkook if you needed something. Yeonjun had bright pink hair now and it surprisingly suited him really well, you complimented his new look and he flashed you the sweetest smile.

“Thanks my dear, how’ve you been y/n?” He cheerfully asks, taking a few garments off some racks and setting them aside.

“I’ve been alright…I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now.” You admit, hoping he’d take the bait by asking you what’s wrong.

To no surprise, he follows up your response with “what’s on your mind hun?” And gives you his full undivided attention.

It wouldn’t take long for you to spill everything, you had to at least tell someone else to get an outside perspective. The tears were slowly rolling down your cheeks as you finished your story, quickly wiping them away so you don’t ruin the stylist’s hard work on your makeup, waiting for Yeonjun to react. You look up at his face and he looked in complete shock since he probably wasn’t expecting to hear this at all.

“Well this is messy as hell, I mean— you haven’t even been a model for 2 weeks and you’re already sleeping with your boss? No wonder he doesn’t let anyone around you!” He playfully jokes, “but in all seriousness, this is kind of insane. I personally wouldn’t know what to do if I was in your position…”

You appreciated his honesty. You know your situation wasn’t quite easy and the more entangled you got, the more messy it becomes. You have your own selfish reasons for wanting to stay with Jungkook too. You wanted to see how far this modeling career could actually take you, thinking about your life before and after you met Jungkook. Before him, you were working at a convenience store, living off below minimum wage, and close to getting evicted with no place to go but after you met him all of those things seemingly went away in an instant. The only downside of this situation was that the man you were slowly falling in love with was married and had a family. That’s the part you can’t ignore and it crushed you deep inside, but the outweighing factors were starting to make you want to turn a blind eye.

“We can talk more about this later y/n, but we really have to get you in these clothes so that you make it in time on set, plus I’m not trying to get yelled at.” Yeonjun politely expressed, he knows how much you’re not feeling up to all this but his motivating attitude helps you get through it.

You huff, “okay, fine.”

The dress you were wearing was a size way too small for you, it was digging so deep into your rib cage you felt like you were going to faint at any moment. The dress was insanely beautiful but it made you barely even able to sit down properly. The mini dress you had on was a dark red, velvet material, it was striped with floral accents, ruffles lined the hem and the sleeves were puffy with lettuce trim. You wore black see-through stockings with knee high 5-inch stiletto boots and the pain shooting from the back of your feet was excruciating. Though the outfit was absolutely stunning you were beyond uncomfortable, you had no idea how you were going to walk in this on set.

“Yeonjun this dress is cutting off my circulation…” you tell him while standing awkwardly, wanting to get this dress off of you immediately.

“It’s just for a photoshoot y/n, it may not be the most comfortable but it’ll only last for 20 minutes I believe in you!” He gives you a mini pep talk to help you through your discomfort and it slightly puts you at ease to fake it until you make it.

You know that this was the price of becoming a model and sometimes pain is the cost of beauty, you just have to suck it up for now and get it over with. Trying to walk in a straight line was a task in itself since the back of your heels kept jabbing into your skin, you know you’re going to get a crazy blister after this. Yeonjun holds your hand to help you balance yourself and you felt more embarrassed that he had to help keep you from falling.

“This is not what I signed up for when I thought I’d be doing this…” you say while walking carefully to the other studio.

“I’m sure none of us do love,” Yeonjun’s face scrunched as he chuckles, making your way over to the set where everyone else was now.

The set was full of people, everyone had a designated job to do something. All the models were lined up at the front waiting for their turn for photos to be taken while multiple photographers took shots of others models in the center. There were more models in the corner getting touch ups, staff handing out water bottles and refreshments, directors giving instructions, the whole thing was an orderly chaos. Once you got to the front, you were told by a director to stand in the line next to all the other models and wait for your photos to be taken. You sigh heavily as you head up to all the women who were now all looking at you.

Some of them didn’t look very friendly, you felt as though you were being silently judged. You were the new girl and no one even knew who you were. Your thoughts went racing again as before, you were feeling like you didn’t deserve to be here. These women looked way more qualified to do this job than you, you were so amazed at how gorgeous everyone looked. You know you’ll have to get used to it eventually since you’ll practically be around beautiful people your entire career.

You hear a familiar voice on the set and you finally see Jungkook since the morning you had both left.

“I thought we agreed that we were going to get the bigger piano for this shoot? Why am I still seeing the same ones from before?!”

“Sorry boss, but you told us that it was too out of budget so we-”

“For fucks sake, I don’t give a shit about the budget anymore, this looks cheap and tacky, we can’t have this. Call the call guy up to bring the bigger one, NOW!” He continues his tirade, “also, why is y/n in the back? I told you as soon as she arrives she needs to be placed first!” He comes up to you and puts his hands on your shoulders, you tensed up immediately from his minor touch.

No one else in here besides the two of you know what happened last night and the awkwardness of it all is killing you inside. He was acting as if everything was completely normal and it kind of infuriated you. Jungkook places you to the front of the line and all the other models watch as he took your hand in his. You could just feel the eyes being glued on you, if looks could kill you’d be in a coffin, six feet under by now. Some of the other models sneered at you while you simply walked to the front to wait for your photos to be taken.

When it was now your time to go Jungkook politely asks you to come sit on a chair. You try your best to sit as comfortably as you can in this tight dress but you feel even more suffocated from sitting down. All you could do in this moment was simply hope for the best.

“Sit with your legs crossed y/n,” Jungkook positions you to do a pose for the photographer and you comply. You cross your legs and do a natural pose with your arms, the photographer snaps a photo immediately. The constant flash of the camera lights were giving you another headache, this job is so exhausting. Jungkook spoke to you in such a soft tone when instructing you to pose, he’s usually a very stern and sometimes vindictive boss with most people, but with you he’s the most gentle person. He almost babies you in a way, he treats you differently because he knows how fragile you are. It felt much longer than 20 minutes like Yeonjun said, but once you were done you got up instantly to feel like you can somewhat breathe again. All you can think about is getting out of these uncomfortable but beautiful clothes.

“You did such a great job as always y/n, so perfect. Thank you!” The photographer compliments you once he’s done.

“Isn’t she just amazing?” Jungkook chimes in, “I can’t believe I discovered her, such a rare gem in today’s society.” He looked at you with such pride, he took pride in all of his achievements but this one meant more to him. You were flustered by Jungkook’s comment in front of the photographer, if only he knew why he thought you were so amazing. Jungkook hands you a water bottle and you take it from his hands thanking him politely. A part of you was still angry with him but you knew it wasn’t worth being petty over right now. You didn’t want to throw off the vibe in front of all these people so it was best to pretend as if there’s nothing going on between you two. You were about to leave so you can head back to your dressing room and take these clothes off but Jungkook slips a piece of paper in your hand behind your back. He mumbled something under his breath but you couldn’t understand it, looking at the crumbled note with messy handwriting in black ink:

‘Meet me upstairs in the dressing rooms in 5’

You look up and Jungkook was already gone. You were now left alone in a room full of people, you know why he wants you there but the fact he did this so blatantly was beyond you. Making sure no one was suspicious of you, you make your way up the stairs to go to the dressing rooms. It didn’t take long for you to reach your destination, Jungkook was already waiting for you inside. You slam the door behind you and now standing in front of him again but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him this time. The tension between you two felt different now that you were alone again, all professionalism out the door.

“I know what you brought me here for but we still need to talk and-”

Jungkook cuts you off, “what else is there to talk about y/n? I’ve already told you everything. I don’t know what more you want from me, I brought you up here to make up for my behavior.”

“I don’t want to fuck you this dressing room right no-”

He cuts you off once again, “who said anything about fucking? Baby you have no idea. Come sit, just relax for me sweetie.”

He motions for you to sit down and you reluctantly do so. The tightness of the dress was becoming worse once you sat down again, you groaned from the life being sucked out of you.

“I just want these damn clothes off of me already, can you please help me?” You ask, in dire need to breathe properly again.

Jungkook nods, coming up behind you to unzip the dress and you feel instant relief from finally being out of it. You sigh as you feel your body coming back to normal, the dress was now fully unzipped, feeling a rush of cool air from the fan coming in contact with your bare skin. You slide the dress off including your stockings and kick off those uncomfortable heels you were wearing. You were now sitting in the chair with nothing other than your tiny g-string, that small excuse of fabric was barely covering your lower region. You wanted to blush from embarrassment but Jungkook was staring at you hungrily, as if he wants to devour your existence. You cover your chest with your hands but Jungkook chuckles at that.

“Don’t be shy with me now babe, acting like I’ve never seen you naked before, give me a fucking break y/n.”

He traces his fingertips down your shoulders, lightly drawing circles along your delicate skin. His warm breath tingled against you as he got closer, the tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a steak knife.

“I’ve watched you touch yourself in front of me, you can be such a good girl for me when you want to be.” He whispers in your ear softly.

You tremble from his words, consumed by his touch, and all the filthy things he says to you makes your mind go blank within seconds. He drags his fingers down to your stomach, tracing more invisible lines on your body. The fact he was still fully clothed and you were the one under him, fully exposed, ready for him to do whatever he wanted made you even more nervous. You never know what this man’s intentions are with you.

“Will you be a good girl for me right now while I go down on you? You have to stay as quiet as possible for me or else there will be consequences princess.”

You don’t know what those consequences will be, but you simply nod your head. You turn into the perfect submissive when you’re alone with Jungkook, you do any and everything he says with no hesitation. You like to think you would never fall to a man’s beck and call but for Jungkook, you’d risk it all. His light touches kept going as he brought a hand to your inner thigh, kneading at your flesh. His hands played with the thin string of your thong, he takes the front of it and pulls at the fabric then flings it back like a slingshot. You squeal from the contact on your cunt, making you flinch a little. He does it a few more times, flinging it back and toying with you. The evil smirk on his face said it all, he was playing a little game with you. The string of the thong was now jammed in between your pussy lips, the sight of it made Jungkook smack his lips together. He wanted you so bad but teasing you was way more fun.

“You have such a pretty cunt babygirl,” he expresses in a sultry tone, “I’m going to take all the time I need with you, princess.”

He plays some more with the g-string and you close your eyes from the sensation, opening your legs wider for him to get a better view.

“No, keep your eyes open and look into the mirror behind me, you take your eyes off of it once and I’ll make sure to punish you so bad you won’t be able to walk again.”

You open your eyes instantly, looking over at the mirror in front of you and seeing Jungkook on his knees being eye level with your dripping cunt.

“Will you promise to be a good girl for daddy?” He asks sternly.

“Yes, I promise daddy I will!”

“Then say it.”

“I’ll be a good girl for daddy, I promise I’ll be good!” You plead with him.

He gives you a little smirk and his eyes were dark like they were last night. The only thing on his mind right now was ruining you completely.

He brings his face closer to your heat, his lips were close to it you could feel his breath sweep against you. He slides the sad excuse of fabric to the side and draws a single digit into your wetness. A small moan comes out of you and he looks up with a glaring eye, making you cover your mouth so you can stop yourself from going further.

“Be quiet…” he says, bringing another finger to his lips for you to stay silent.

He continues dragging his finger up and down your slit, rubbing your slick all over to create even more a mess. He couldn’t stop looking at the way your cunt was glistening and as much as he wanted to keep teasing you, he also wanted to dive his face in. He brings his tongue to your slit, starting with small kitten licks, your body trembles just by the slightest amount of stimulation. He drags his tongue slowly, coming in contact with your clit and lightly sucks on it. You keep your eyes on the mirror like Jungkook instructed you to, the pornographic sight was enough to make you want to cum. You had your legs spread out wide for him, holding your thighs to keep them in place as he eats you out.

The feeling of his tongue gliding against your clit left you with a million tingles down your spine. He nestles his face deeper into your cunt and his nose brushed up against your sensitive bundle of nerves, drenching his whole face with your wetness. The task of keeping quiet was only growing to become more difficult as his pace grew quicker. Jungkook’s mouth felt like heaven and the reflection of him on his knees for you was making you go insanely feral. He licks a long stripe against your cunt in the slowest motion, his eyes looking at you the entirety of it which only made you want to moan out for him. You bite your lip down heavily enough to draw a tiny amount of blood, really trying your best to be good for him as possible.

“You’re being such a good girl for me baby,” Jungkook praises while still looking up at you, “I knew you could do it, you’re a smart girl.” He continues his assault on your clit and his tongue flicks against it faster. You want to moan out his name but you don’t want know what the consequences will be, plus you don’t want anyone to know that you’re getting it on with the man who’s supposed to be in charge of you. You’re stuck in a daze from all the pleasure he was giving you, tangling your fingers in his long fluffy hair to feel more of him. His face was now completely buried inside you, you weren’t sure if he was even breathing properly but you didn’t hear any complaining from his end.

He laps up all your wetness with his mouth as he works his tongue deep into your cunt, you almost cry out from the feeling in your core. You seal your lips tighter in order not to make a sound, your heavy breathing was the only audible noise coming from you— besides the sounds of your juices being mixed with Jungkook’s tongue of course. You kept tugging on his hair making it messier as you continue watching him through the mirror. His tongue going back to your clit to abuse it some more, you could feel your high approaching any minute now. Your body jerks from the over stimulation and you want to scream but you end up pulling strands of his hair harder.

“You gonna cum for me princess?” He takes a moment to catch some air, “I want you to cum for daddy, can you do that for me?”

You simply nod your head, focusing on your climax and almost shut your eyes, but you remember you have to keep them open. You really do your best to try and look at him but it was all too much for you, you wanted to pass away and let the pleasure wash over you like a typhoon. He circles your clit with his tongue one more time as you cover your mouth again to stop you from moaning out load. You can feel your release coming as you chase your high, your eyes were still open surprisingly as you watched Jungkook keep himself between your legs. Your legs violently shake as you cum, the creamy substance now dripping out beautifully against his tongue. He licks your slate clean as all your cum is gone and he licks up the rest of your essence on your thighs.

“Such a good girl for me.” Jungkook says, now smiling with pride after he’s made you cum. He gets up from being on the floor and his face was completely wet, he glanced over at the mirror and noticed immediately. He licked his lips and chuckled at his appearance, his hair was a complete, disheveled mess and the neckline of his shirt was lined with sweat. You giggle from the effect you had on him, he was the one putting in all the work yet came out looking completely ruined too.

“Let’s get you in some different clothes and head back before people start noticing I disappeared, I’m sure everyone is wondering where I ran off to,” Jungkook takes a random blouse and skirt off of a rack and hands it to you, “just wear this then meet me back on set, you know we have that rehearsal later as well so I’ll call you and pick you up at 8.”

You nod your head and take the clothes from him, you had a fully packed schedule this whole week and you didn’t realize how busy your life was going to become. You used to have more free time to go out and hang with friends but ever since you got this modeling gig you barely talked to any of them. Your phone was still dead and you have no idea if anyone’s been trying to communicate with you. You aren’t the type to change your whole personality because of a new guy in your life but Jungkook was showing you a different side of the world, a part of the world you knew absolutely nothing about. All you could do was continue to have a levelheaded mindset and hope that it won’t eventually change you into something you aren’t.

It felt lonely coming back to your apartment without Jungkook. He had to finish up some work at the studio so he couldn’t drive you home, he had one of his staff chauffeur you back. You had your own car but Jungkook didn’t want you driving unless you really had to, he didn’t like having you do more work than you already do. You called your landlord to confirm if you were still going to be evicted and he told you no, that someone named Mr. Jeon called him and told him that he would be your guarantor and all your bills can go directly to him. Your jaw almost hit the floor once he said that, you really couldn’t believe your biggest problem you’ve been dealing with has been resolved in such an instant. You were baffled at his behavior yet grateful since now you didn’t really have anything to worry about. Well, besides the fact that you’re now Jungkook’s mistress and he’s pretty much helping you build your entire career. You would usually never accept handouts from people, let alone help you pay your own rent, this was a new side of you only he could bring out. You had no idea you were capable of doing anything like this.

You rest your head in your hands as you sit on your bed to think about all the events leading up to your life right now. One tiny interaction was all it took to completely change your life and you’re not even sure if it’s for the better. Your phone was finally turned back on from being dead all day and you check your missed notifications. You got a call from your best friend Sakura and she texted you asking if you were okay, you haven’t talked to her since the day you went off on her about her taking “accountability” speech.

You decide to call her back since you really wanted to update her on everything and get her opinion. You call her but it immediately goes straight to voicemail so you call it again but the same thing happens. You get confused by this so you send her a message to tell her to answer her phone however the message becomes green instead of blue once you press send. Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach now, you know that this could only mean one thing. Your own best friend blocked your number. You felt so betrayed right now, the person who was supposed to stick by your side through everything decides to cut you off and not even give you a chance at closure. You felt sick and you didn’t even know what to do. The only thing you could think of was to start bursting into tears. You couldn’t believe she would do something like this to you, after all you’ve been through together it just felt like a slap in the face.

Your tears kept coming and you couldn’t stop rocking yourself to calm you down. You felt entire your whole body shake as your breathing slowly become irregular. You were a sobbing mess and now you were feeling like a panic attack was about to arise. You couldn’t contain all your emotions, everything coming at you all at once made you feel so small and anxious. You felt utterly helpless, alone, so trapped, you could feel your airways closing from the tightness, only wheezing and coughing in response.

Your phone vibrated as a call notification pops up, it was Jungkook. You don’t answer it because you were in the middle of a full blown panic attack and you couldn’t mutter a single word at this moment. You were growing dizzy and kept gasping for air, it truly felt as though you were dying right now. You try to get up from your bed but your body grew weak, your limbs felt fluid as you tried to move. Your phone kept buzzing but the sounds were starting to feel like it was coming from underwater. Everything around you was a blur and you remember nothing else besides your eyes slowly falling shut.

You woke up laying on the floor of your room next to your bed, your head was pounding as if you had just drank too much alcohol. You get up to look around and everything was the same, nothing was thrown around or out of place. Now getting up and recovering from your panic attack, you breathe deeply and exhale to calm your anxious nerves. Your phone was still on the bed and you realize you’ve been on the floor for about half an hour. Jungkook called you about 4 times, he also texted you asking you what you were doing. It was almost 7 o’clock and you didn’t have much time to get ready for this rehearsal tonight. You call Jungkook back and he answers immediately,

“Y/n! Where have you been?” He says, sounding pretty concerned.

“I- I’m sorry I just wasn’t feeling too well…” you refrain from going any further in order not to worry him.

“Is something wrong? Did something happen y/n? I’ll be over there soon and we can talk about it if you wan-”

“No, it’s okay Jungkook, I actually don’t want to talk about it. Just pick me up at the normal time.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want. I’ll pick you up later then I guess…”

You hang up and let out a sigh, you didn’t even want to tell him about your situation with Sakura, it was unnecessary drama for him anyway. You have to get into work mode so you try to forget about it and take a shower. You felt like an empty shell of a person, just numb to everything and although you are incredibly hurt, you have to shield that from the rest of the world.

A black Porsche waits for you in your driveway. Jungkook comes out of the car and opens the door for you to get in the passenger side. You did your best to try and act normal, you really didn’t want him to notice anything off with you.

“You okay babe?” He asks anyway, you know he always does this to make sure you really are okay. He thought maybe it was just the stress of it all getting to you but you had another problem to deal with.

“Yes Kook, I’m fine can we just drive?” You tell him, wanting nothing but this conversation to be over with.

“I’m just making sure you’re alright, no need to bite my head off all the time y/n.” He retorts, he has good intentions behind him asking but you always find it slightly annoying when he does. Maybe because you never really had someone constantly ask if you were okay, it was usually the opposite, no one ever cared how you felt. Just like how your own “best friend” decides to block you and shut you out her life without taking your feelings into consideration. It hurt you so bad. All those emotions came flooding through you again and you felt your lips tremble. You try and snap out of your moment so you don’t cry in front Jungkook like you always do, you have to remain strong this time. You thought of anything to distract you but nothing seemed to be working, then one of the most unthinkable decisions came to your mind.

“Jungkook, do you have any cigarettes on you?” You ask him quietly, for some reason all you could think of to relieve your stress was smoking.

He looked at you as if you were confessing to a murder, never did he think those words would come out of your mouth.

“Um… yeah but I thought you said those were cancer sticks and I’m cutting my life by a year each time I smoke?”

“I mean yeah that is true, but I’m really stressed right now I just want to try one.”

“That’s what I said when I was 14 and look at me now,” he says ironically, “I don’t want to be the reason for you getting hooked on these.”

“I’m not going to become an addict! Just let me try one dammit!” You were growing frustrated with his attempts in getting you to stop but once you make your mind about something you’ll want to do it in the end.

“What’s gotten into you lately y/n? Is this is my fault? I’ll try harder to be a better influence for you if I can.”

You roll your eyes, “I don’t need you to influence me to do anything, this has nothing to do with you. I just want to relieve some stress!”

“There are so many other ways you can relieve stress than slowly killing yourself y/n…”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know… you could have sex?” He proposes, “with me of course.”

“How can we have sex right now if you’re driving? Dumbass.”

“Hey, don’t call me that! I was just giving a suggestion…plus you know there’s other things you can do besides penetration.”

You giggle at his usage of the word “penetration”, you were so immature that it made him laugh too.

“So you want me to give you road head?” You say to him innocently, you like to see him get all worked up from you acting cute.

“I mean, if you want… yeah. Have you ever done something like this before?”

“Yeah kinda, the car wasn’t moving though!” You now turn your body completely to face him in the driver’s seat. You smile up at him with seductive eyes, watching as he sneaks glances at you while he drives, making your way closer to him. You lean over and stare at his stiff erection through his pants, rubbing your hand over it as you palm him in your grasp. He winces a bit at that and you can tell just by any touch you give him his whole body feels like it’s set on fire. You weren’t a big teaser unlike Jungkook, so you waste no time in unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans to free his cock from the confines of his boxers. You look at the beautiful man’s pretty pink dick standing tall in front of you, licking your lips at the sight. His veiny cock was throbbing in your tiny hand, tip already leaking out with delicious precum. You slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of him. You then swirl your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of his precum against your tongue.

“Fuck princess… you feel so good around me already,” he bit his lip harshly, gripping the steering wheel even harder.

You wrap your mouth tighter around his length as you begin to slide your head down. Bobbing it back and forth and keeping a tight suction on his cock, making sure not to use any teeth. You feel Jungkook’s hips jolt up from the sensation as you draw more saliva from your mouth, making it as messy as possible. He let out a loud groan when his dick hit the back of your throat, you didn’t choke or gag once which surprised him. You don’t have a gag reflex which is ultimately perfect for giving head, you’re not really sure how you got so blessed with this talent. You take all of him completely in your mouth, swallowing him whole as you keep bobbing your head. The way he filled you up felt so good, nothing could compare to having Jungkook’s cock in your mouth.

“That’s my good girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” He keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. He does his best to keep his eyes on the road but the way you’re sucking him is taking him to different universe. Your free hand rested on his right thigh as you continued throwing your head back, stroking his cock with your pretty, talented mouth. He elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make him cum faster.

Jungkook bit his lip even harder, trying so hard not to crash this vehicle, he breathes in and out the best way he can. He could feel himself cumming soon and his whole body tenses up like he’s got a volcano erupting inside him.

“I think I’m gonna cum… damn baby…”

You couldn’t say anything since his cock was buried 7 inches deep down your throat. The only thing on your mind right now was getting him to cum inside your mouth. You hum as you pick up your pace, deepthroating him aggressively. There was so much saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. A beautiful mess, just for Jungkook. You feel his hard length throb against in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. White ropes of his cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, you look up at him as you take all his cum. His cum tastes so good, you were so sad when he emptied all of it. You pull away and kiss the tip of his cock before you go up to his face and give him a quick kiss on the lips. He flashes a soft smile at you and you gave a warm smile back. He quickly zips his pants back up with one hand and you help fix his belt for him.

“See, wasn’t that much better than smoking a cigarette?” He says proudly, you hate to admit he was right but at least he prevented you from doing irreversible damage to your body.

“I guess..” you shrug nonchalantly, “it was alright.”

“Well that blowjob you gave me was more than just an alright,” he happily boasts. You probably made his whole year with what you did.

“Does your wife suck your dick as good as I do?” You tease him, you don’t even know why you would say that but the look on his face turned sour.

“Why are you even bringing her up? This doesn’t have jackshit to do with her,” he says almost annoyed, “but yes, you do. Just don’t bring her up again please.”

You struck a nerve with that one, you wanted to keep egging him on but now probably isn’t a good time. You simply let it go and sit back in your seat quietly. You know why he gets so defensive about the subject but it just baffles you how he does it yet doesn’t bat at eye about cheating on her. It makes you feel so guilty you keep doing this but Jungkook really does make you happy, it’s a double edged sword.

“I’m sorry if I upset you y/n” he says, “I just really prefer not to talk about her, especially when I’m with you. I pretty much forget she exists when we’re together.”

You smiled but you still felt broken on the inside, you feel so bad for Soyeon, his wife doesn’t deserve any of this at all, no matter the circumstances. However, you don’t know her personally so it is true that you didn’t owe her any loyalty, it was just a principle/morality thing. You were thinking about how crushed she will probably be once she finds out Jungkook is divorcing her, if she ever found you were in the picture all hell could break loose.

“Will she ever find out?” You couldn’t help but ask, you don’t know how long he’d able to keep this secret from her for.

“No, I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t care if you told your friends about me, knowing you they already know by now. But if it gets out, I’ll be so angry with you y/n, I seriously wouldn’t know what to do.”

You were silent, you know he was dead serious when he said that. You didn’t get the chance to tell anyone besides Yeonjun and he’s not the type to go around telling everyone your business. You had nothing to worry about yet his words still cut deep.

“I didn’t tell anyone Jungkook…” you fidget with your hands and look out the window, you feel like you’ve been in this car for ages.

“When are we finally getting to the rehearsal oh my god, feels like I’ve been in this damn car forever!” You complain to him like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Calm down, we’ll be there in like 2 minutes. It’s kinda far from where we live,” he turns up a corner and drives into a large parking lot with lots of other cars parked there. He stops the car and gets out to open the door for you, you step out the car and he holds your hand in his. You were a little confused since Jungkook doesn’t like to show PDA in public but you go with it anyway.

You head into the historic looking building, as soon as you stepped in you felt claustrophobic. There were people everywhere. Hundreds of models scattered the venue, everyone all dolled up or being in the process of it. The speakers blared loud, catchy pop music as you made your way through the crowds of people. Jungkook was still holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t get lost, you held onto him tightly since you were feeling anxious.

People kept coming up to him and greeting him, he was still holding your hand the entire time, you were receiving vicious looks from some of the models. You felt all eyes on you and you weren’t even dressed up, you had the most normal clothes on, nothing fancy. You felt like such a peasant around everyone but you soon won’t be once you get dressed up. Jungkook takes you to a private area where there was no one else around. He tells you to stay put while he goes to get one of the staff to do your makeup and hair for the rehearsal.

“I’ll be in the conference room, it’s the door on the right next to that bathroom down the hall. If you need me just knock or text me and I’ll come to you. See you in an hour doll,” he gives you a chaste kiss before leaving out.

You were now left alone, waiting for someone else to come in. You hear some light laughter from outside the door, overhearing some girls talking to each other.

“You noticed that new girl? I don’t even know her name she’s so irrelevant, but have you seen the way she acts? So snobby.” One of the girls spoke.

“Oh I think I know who you’re talking about, the one who follows around Jungkook like a lost puppy all the time?” Another girl chimes in.

“Yeah her. She seems likes such an entitled bitch, you would think she’s fucking him by the way she’s attached to that man like a magnet!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually are. Some girls have no shame and will do anything to get to the top.”

“I know right? And doesn’t he have a wife too? That would be so disgusting of her.”

You couldn’t listen anymore, you knew they were talking exactly about you. Your biggest fear came into fruition now, everyone thinks you slept your way to the top and it doesn’t help that Jungkook treats you with blatant favoritism. It’s only a matter of time before people start talking and rumors about you sleeping together will spread like wildfire. This industry thrives on gossip, it won’t take long for something like to start getting around. You worry even more about the outcome but before you could think of anything else, the makeup and hairstylist comes in to do their job. You sigh as you weren’t sure what to do now, you don’t want to text Jungkook and tell him the other models are talking shit about you incase he asks who. You have no idea who even said it since you only heard their voices, it could be literally anyone.

Sitting back in the chair, the makeup artist was applying glittery eyeshadow while the hairstylist blows out your hair. You try and relax while everything gets done but you couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“Can you stop twitching your eye like that?” The makeup artist asks you politely, you felt so bad that you couldn’t conceal your movement. You tried hard to sit still and keep a straight face but it was much harder than it looked.

Once you were finally done and the makeup and hair stylists were satisfied with the look, you study yourself in the mirror to assess your new appearance. Your hair was super big and poofy, almost like the hairstyles from the 80’s, your lips were accented with red lipstick and you felt like a movie star in this get up. You looked so different yet it suited you well, you looked like the most gorgeous version of yourself you could be. You thanked them for making you look so beautiful and you couldn’t stop touching hair but the hair stylist told you not to.

“Yeonjun will be there with your change of clothes soon, thanks for your time!” The makeup artist says to you as they both walk out.

A pink haired man appears in the room and you can see Yeonjun’s whole demeanor shift from earlier. He looked either exhausted, annoyed, or both. You wonder what’s on his mind so you ask him how he’s feeling. He lets out a deep sigh and regains his composure, “sorry if I seem a little off today, I got in a tiny argument with my boyfriend and just— ugh he’s really pissing me off right now!”

You giggle at his attitude, he doesn’t talk about his outside life with you much and you know he has a boyfriend but everything seemed fine whenever he would talk about him.

“Do you want to talk about it? If not, it’s totally okay I understand. Men are just the worst in general,” you say in support for your friend.

“It’s just he’s always complaining about me being busy with work and I try to make time for him when I can! It just seems like it’s never enough for him…”

You sympathize with him as you remember the many times you had with your exes when they’d get mad at you for not spending enough time with them. You know the feeling but you do your best not to talk about yourself and just focus on consoling your friend.

“I totally get it. I can see where you’re coming from and I can also see his side as well. Maybe he just gets jealous easily? I mean you do work with attractive people all day, maybe if you reassure him that you only care about him and your work life shouldn’t interfere with your relationship.”

You couldn’t believe you gave such sound advice to someone. You articulated yourself well and got straight to the point, you mentally give yourself a pat on the back.

“Thanks y/n, I realize that I probably don’t tell him enough everyday that I love him, I just assume he already knows that but I guess it’s nice to say y’know?”

You nod in agreement. You were glad that you could help Yeonjun feel better and his mood became more upbeat. You felt good that he was comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you and it only made your friendship stronger. Maybe Yeonjun will be your new best friend, forget Sakura.

“I know you weren’t comfortable with the last outfit so I brought a different dress this time,” he says, bringing the dress over to you and you were in awe of what was in front of you. You couldn’t believe you were about to wear something this stunning, the dress reached all the way to the floor, it looked like something straight off someone from the Met Gala.

The gown was structured beautifully, it was a royal purple color with lots of layers to it. The top was a bustier bodice with a deep v-neckline, the waist was corset-like, it had tulle mesh bell sleeves with 3D butterfly accents all over and the bottom had a puffy ballgown style with more tulle underneath.

Once you got in the dress you felt like a real princess in her castle. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to how amazing you always look when you’re in model mode. The corset cinched your waist in so perfectly, giving you the sexiest hourglass figure. Everything about you just became one hundred times better, you couldn’t get enough of how insanely hot you looked.

“I look so damn good, wow! I can’t even recognize myself.” You say to Yeonjun, not taking your eyes off your pretty reflection.

“You always look great y/n, but I must admit you become spicier when you’re all dressed up!” He says, giving you the much needed compliments you deserve.

You now had to go back out into the real world, back where all the other models that despised you will be. You take a deep breath as you open the door to make your way back out and it was still complete chaos. You don’t see Jungkook anywhere and Yeonjun told you to go to the room where the rehearsal will be held. You hope to God that Jungkook will be there since you have no idea what you’re doing.

You had to get through so many people just to make it across the other side, you kept feeling all the stares on you and you couldn’t stop thinking about what those girls were saying about you earlier. It really upset you that people had already prejudged you for simply existing, they knew nothing about you yet already thought you were a bitch. It’s not a good feeling to know that others around you don’t like you but to hear it yourself was one thing.

You eventually make it to the rehearsal room and you were met with one of the backstage managers to instruct you where to go. You go behind the curtain and head backstage to where all the other models were, again the room was chaotic yet in a functional way. A stylist comes up to you to check over your look and fine tune some things about your hair and makeup. You still didn’t see Jungkook anywhere and it was starting to worry you.

You decide to text him and ask him where he was, he texts you a few seconds later and tells you he’s in the bathroom but he’s at the rehearsal. You feel your whole body relax when you read that, at least he will be here with you any minute now.

You feel a hand sneak up behind you to tap your shoulder, you turn around instantly and you’re met face to face with Jungkook.

“There you are!” You say to him happily, he was the only person you needed to see right now.

“Hey gorgeous,” he says with a huge grin on his face, “whoever did your look I need to give them a raise because wow you are smoking hot!”

You blush at him flirting with you, unsure of how to react since he was saying this in front of so many people. The fact he just casually flirts with you in front the models makes you feel even more self conscious about what was said about you earlier.

“Thanks Kook..” you say shyly, trying not make it so obvious that you’re practically in love with this man.

Jungkook couldn’t keep his eyes off you though and it was only making your body temperature rise to boiling levels. If there weren’t so many people here you would’ve been making out with him by now.

You were trying to play it cool as one of the models came up to Jungkook.

“Hey Jungkook, I was wondering if you were free after this? I could really use a massage, I’ve been working so hard latelyy,” the blonde woman confidently waltzed in between, you were in utter disbelief by the way she just asked that so casually. You know she has no idea who you are but it still felt like a huge slap in the face. Jungkook wasn’t really paying attention to her and was still looking over at you, he chuckled at her advance but before he could even get a word out you spoke for him.

“Actually he’s busy tonight!” You bark at her in a harsh tone, you know you shouldn’t have butted in the conversation but you couldn’t help being protective over him. He was yours.

“I don’t think I was talking to you was I?” The girl snarks back at you, “I said Jungkook, not whatever the hell your name is.”

“Her name is y/n. Also thanks for the offer Somi but I think I’ll pass.” Jungkook says, shutting her down completely.

“Oh, well then let me know if you change your mind!” Somi tries in attempt to safe herself from the embarrassment.

“I won’t.” Jungkook mutters under his breath. You feel like Somi heard it by the way she did a double take and glared at him with evil eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh at the whole ordeal, it was sad how some of these girls threw themselves at any chance to be with Jungkook. You didn’t have to do any of this to even get him to pay attention to you, he was the one that chased after you the whole time. It made you feel special that you had that effect on him, it was like once he saw you he had tunnel vision.

“Are we good to go boss?” One of the directors asks Jungkook before the rehearsal starts and he nods his head. The director whistles loudly to get everyone’s attention as they stop what they were doing to listen. He instructs all the models to line up and get into single file, you were the first in line since you were the opening of the show and it made you even more nervous. You knew this had to be absolutely perfect for Jungkook, you couldn’t make any minor mistakes or else you’ll disappoint him. You couldn’t let him down so you took a deep breath as you wait for the director to queue the music. Once the music turns on and you go into work mode and relax yourself. You think about all the things you learned in your modeling courses so far and how they taught you to exude confidence as you walk. You make your way down the aisle and place your hands on your hips like the director instructed you to do so.

Keeping your posture as straight as possible, you take long strides down the stage with your feet balanced in a straight line. Your facial expression was natural yet you kept a strong gaze, you wanted your eyes to do all the talking. You let everything flow naturally as you kept walking, reaching the end of the stage you stop then make a pivot to the right and give a slight pose. You turn around and do the same thing you did as before, taking long strides and keeping the energy up. You walk back to the curtains and you felt so accomplished with what you just did. It was if the whole world meant nothing to you in that moment, the lights didn’t give you a headache, the people in the crowd didn’t bother you, you felt immensely proud of yourself. The stilettos you were wearing were so tall and had the thinnest heel but you got through it anyway, it amazed you how far you’ve come already.

You watch as another model steps on stage now, you’re actually glad that you were the first one since now everything was done and over with. You’d have more time to feel anxious about it and become more stressed out if you waited in the line longer. Jungkook finds you and comes up to you clapping his hands in amusement from what he saw from you, his smile was everything you needed to know that he was immensely proud of you.

“Such an amazing job out there y/n, you killed it. You’re such a natural born talent, I swear you’re going to change my life!” He says out loud, he always praised you as if you were God’s greatest gift to earth and it made you melt each and every time.

“Thank you so much Jungkook,” you say to him while going in for a hug and he hugs you back instantly. He goes one step further to even pick you up and twirl you around like a little doll, he put you down and you couldn’t stop giggling. Everyone in the room was looking at two, it was so obvious that the other models were jealous they didn’t even try to hide it. One of the girls muttered “get a room” as they walked by and you heard it. You were now blushing from embarrassment and Jungkook looks around too to make everyone stop staring at you.

He whispers something in your ear “don’t worry about these girls, they’re harmless. If they even try to start shit with you I’ll handle it.”

You nod and just watch as Jungkook leaves you again to go check on the rehearsal.

As the rehearsal comes to an end, everything starts to wind down. Jungkook was talking a bunch of staff and other people while you waited patiently for him to finish so you could go home. You were now out of the fancy designer clothes but you still felt pretty with your hair and makeup. Jungkook couldn’t stop sneaking glances at you from time to time while talking to them, he just loved looking at you. You were the most precious little angel to him and he wanted to protect you with everything he had.

When he finishes talking he heads over to you finally. You were so ready to go home and you felt completely exhausted by the whole day.

“Is it time to go now Kook?” You ask impatiently, you couldn’t wait to get your much needed rest.

“Actually y/n, there’s an after party that I have to attend. I was hoping you’d come along since I could really use the company,” he says, gently rubbing the palms of your hands with his fingers.

“Do you really have to go to it? I’m usually all for a night out but I just been doing stuff all day and I’m so tired! Please, just stay in this once?” You plead as you make a cute pout with your lips, you know the pouting always works with him.

“I really can’t…I just don’t want to let all my colleagues down if I don’t show up since it is my campaign after at all..”

“So what? They can still have a good time without you there, they don’t need you to survive Jungkook!” You practically beg, praying that he finally gives in.

“Actually they kinda do because most of them are on my pay roll— you know what that’s not the point. You’re right y/n, I’ll just tell them I had to take care of something.”

Your face lights up at his response, you were glad that you were able to get through to him. You grab his hand to leave but he tells you he has to say his fellow goodbyes to everyone before he gets going. You groan as you watch him walk away yet again to go say his farewells to everyone for the night.

When he finishes doing that you both are finally able to leave the venue and get back into the car.

“Is this another car you have?” Asking him curiously, you’ve been wondering since he pulled up to your house with it.

“Yeah, I own a couple.”

“Oh that’s cool, how many?”

“A lot.” He chuckles from his own answer, you glare at him since you genuinely wanted to know and now it was going to drive you crazy.

“Why do you want one of them? I’ll gladly give you one that I barely use,” he sincerely offers.

First he gives you a high paying job, then he pays your rent, now he’s practically offering you a car. You’re starting to think that maybe Jungkook is the sugar daddy of your dreams, yet he’s not even some gross old man that’s lonely. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like him, just able to sweep all your problems away with no issue. It wasn’t even about the material things, it was just the fact that he went out of his way to constantly take care of you. You never had someone in your life so nurturing towards you, your own family didn’t even treat you this way. You had so many feelings for him that you couldn’t contain it anymore, you just had to say it.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurt out, you didn’t expect to actually say it.

“Because I’ll give you a car? That’s kinda shallow don’t you think?” He jokes with you.

“No- oh my God shut up. I mean in general Jungkook, I’m really falling in love with you and I don’t know what to do…”

“Well there’s really nothing to do. I’m also really in love with you which is why I would do anything for you.” He admits.

You wanted to cry at what he said. His voice sounded so soft, so sweet, everything he was saying to you was like music to your ears. You couldn’t let him say that without asking for something in return though.

“If you really loved me, you will file this divorce quickly so I won’t have to deal with this much longer..” you say in hopes that he’ll consider doing it.

“I will. I have the papers signed on my end but I’ve just been meaning to give them to her…”

“Do it tomorrow! I don’t like sleeping with married people, it makes me feel dirty.” You say while crossing your arms and pouting again.

He reassures everything will be fine, “I’ll try my best for you y/n.”

Jungkook was saying all the right things but still, you felt so unsure about his actions. You have no idea what Jungkook and Soyeon’s marriage is like, he’s never told you a single thing about her besides being an actress. All this curiosity was going to keep you up at night and the guilt would only grow more intense.

You were at Jungkook’s place sitting on his couch while he made you both some food. You were watching a cartoon on his 98” flat TV and all the colors and effects were even more captivating on the giant screen. You see Jungkook from the corner of your eye now walking up to you with the food. He made you some soup with chicken and it smelled really good. You take the bowl from him and place the spoon into your mouth, surprised by how delicious the soup was.

“This is so good, wow I didn’t know you could cook!” You continue eating your soup and he smiles at your approval.

“My friends don’t call me chef Jeon for no reason,” he winks at you.

You both continue eating in silence as you watch the cartoon on the TV, your legs were crossed on Jungkook’s lap and you felt so cozy lying beside him on his velvet couch.

Once you were finished with the soup you put it down the glass coffee table in front of you and reposition yourself to lye your head on Jungkook’s shoulder. He gives you small head pats while still gluing his eyes to the cartoon, you finally ask him what cartoon this was since you had no idea what you were even watching.

“It’s Pucca! It’s a show I used to watch as a kid, I still get nostalgic about it from time to time.”

You didn’t know he was so passionate about his cartoons, you always liked when he would show little bits of his interests. You were happy that he was able to share these things with you, it made your bond feel even closer.

“You’re so cute sometimes,” you say to him smiling, snuggling him with him some more.

“Thanks?” He chuckles at your funny comment, “you’re always cute though.”

With that, he brings his hand to your face and kisses you adoringly. You lean into the kiss and feel his lip ring brushing up against you, placing your hands around his neck you position yourself to be on his lap now. You tug on his lower lip and he lets you in properly; taking his time with kissing you deeply before he sneaks his hands elsewhere. You could feel his body heat against yours and it was only getting warmer in here. You begin to grind slowly on him as he trails his hands to your hips, now holding them in place. You keep grinding against his now visible boner, rocking your hips back and forth as he held onto you.

You moan in his mouth from the friction and you can feel him throbbing underneath you, his dick twitching at any slight amount of stimulation. Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to move on to your neck, he nibbles on your flesh as he bites down gently to eventually turn a reddish purple hue. He scatters little butterfly kisses all over to make you grow flustered, coming back up to press his lips against yours again.

The romantic in you wanted him to take his time with you but you’ve already had enough foreplay throughout the day. You really need him inside you and you were going to get that one way or another.

“Jungkook” you break away from the kiss for a second.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Can I ride you?”

He smirks at your words, you didn’t beat around the bush at all for him.

“Of course you can ride daddy’s cock,” he brings his hand under your shirt to fondle your breasts, “you don’t have to ask princess.”

He lifts up your shirt to expose your bare chest to him, toying with your nipples some more while kissing you before he takes off his shirt next. You loved seeing him shirtless, his tattooed body was ridiculously sexy. The mere sight of him made you want to have an outer-body orgasm. You feel on his pecks and biceps just admiring his gorgeously toned body, you could trace the curves of abs all day. You kiss him again as he feels your ass through your sweatpants, sliding his hands in inside to grab it tighter. His hands were so soft and warm, you loved the feeling of his touch against you.

As you two part from the kiss, a thin string of saliva connects to the both of your lips. He smiles at you and licks it away.

“Take your pants for me pretty girl” he says, “wanna see you naked already.”

He was so impatient it made you giggle at his behavior. You get up from his lap to slide your sweatpants off and Jungkook is in disbelief to find out you went commando.

“Fuck… you really know how to drive me up the walls don’t you?” He couldn’t stop looking at you up and down, he was so infatuated and turn on with everything about you.

He signals you to come back to his lap with his finger and you sit on top of him now completely naked. He massages his hands all over your body tenderly, enamoring you dearly with his touches. His hands felt like putty to you, melting into him like clay as you grind against him again. A moan leaves both of your mouths from the pleasure and you didn’t notice but you realize now that the TV was turned off.

“Take your pants off already!” You whine to him so you can finally feel him. He tsks at you being unable to contain your excitement for him.

“Be patient little one, I was getting to that.”

He lets you off of him so he can undo his pants and slides them down to his ankles. You watch him closely as he goes onto his boxers, bringing them down as well; fully exposed to his cock for the second time today.

You jump back onto him and kiss hungrily, your bodies intertwine with one another as you straddle him and position yourself to take his length. He keeps his hands on your hips while you rub your wetness on his tip, the moans coming from your mouth was harmonic to Jungkook.

He moved a hand to feel on your ass and he leaves a hard slap against it, making your ass jiggle from the contact. He watches and does it again a few more times, making you whimper from the slight pain he’s causing.

“I love everything about you y/n,” he says once he breaks away from kissing you “I love all of you, you’re so fucking perfect” he nuzzled his face in your neck and you couldn’t help but smile at what he said. He knew exactly what to say to get you to make you feel like you were the only girl in the world.

You lowered yourself onto him now, feeling the way you take him so easily from being soaking wet. Jungkook mumbles something illegible under his breath as your cunt swallows his cock whole. It didn’t take long for you to reach the end of him since you were already so ready for him, you stay in the same position to feel all of him inside you. His cock was splitting you open so nicely, it felt like you were in paradise.

Jungkook bucks up his hips slowly, wanting to feel more movement from you. You move your hips to match his rhythm as you gain your balance, pressing both hands on his shoulder blades. You bounce slightly up and down on his cock, feeling your walls being filled up by every inch of him. You shifted from grinding on him real slow to picking up your pace indefinitely. Jungkook throws his head back from the pleasure, the sound of his balls hitting against your ass with the combination of it jiggling as you rode him like a bunny was enough to make him want to combust.

“You always feel so good around me princess,” he groans while grabbing your ass, “this pussy’s going to be the death of me baby.”

You simply keep moaning as you continue bouncing on his cock, he was thrusting back into you to go even deeper. Your eyes reached the back of the skull from the way he was hitting all the right spots in you. It wouldn’t take long before you started screaming his name and crying out for him.

“J-Jungkook, oh my god—” you couldn’t stop babbling, “fuck you’re so good— you’re so good to me daddy…”

“I know I am princess, now be good for me and cum when I tell you to.”

You nod your head viciously, wanting nothing more than to let him help you reach your orgasm. You couldn’t stop moaning his name over and over like a mantra, it was like your brain was only full of Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.

“You can cum for me baby, go ahead it’s okay,” he says sweetly.

You feel your high approaching so you pick up the pace quicker, Jungkook’s fingernail was jabbing deep into your hip as you continue riding him. You feel your walls contract from your orgasm and you moaned out so loud for him that you were sure someone miles way could’ve even heard that. You let your orgasm wash over you and Jungkook quickly lifts you up from being on top so he can finish his load in your mouth. You get on your knees to become eye level with his cock and have your tongue out and ready for him. He gives a couple strokes to his cock and eventually large white strings of cum comes in contact with your mouth. You swallow all of his cum, licking the excess off his shaft to make sure you get all of it. You tap your tongue against the tip of his cock and the dirty view of you doing it was making Jungkook’s mind go complacent blank.

“You’re so fucking hot” he says, caressing your cheek in his hand and then squeezing it playfully.

You simply giggle at him and get up from the floor, you sit back onto the couch to give him another sweet kiss.

“You ready to shower and head to bed?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m officially worn out for the day.”

You put only your shirt back on and Jungkook puts on his boxers, he leads the way for you both to head upstairs.

You immediately go into the bathroom and he goes into his room to get you both fresh clothes. Meanwhile as you wait for him to come back you were looking at the love bites that he left all your neck. You couldn’t believe he’d do such a thing since you literally have another shoot tomorrow. Guess you’ll have to just cover it up with some good ol’ concealer. You hear a commotion from outside the door but it didn’t sound like it was coming from Jungkook’s bedroom. A set of keys rustling could be heard from afar as you bring your ear close to the door.

“Jeon Jungkook!” You hear a woman’s voice from downstairs call out.

You slowly recognize that voice, it was that same voice from the voicemail in Jungkook’s phone. You were mortified, now trapped in the bathroom with absolutely no escape.

“Jungkook!” She calls out again, “I’m home, I decided to surprise you a day early!”

You wanted so badly to just crawl up into a microscopic ball and hide. You get into the bathtub and close the shower curtain so you can be hidden. You know Jungkook wasn’t coming back for you any time soon now.

Bracing yourself for the worst, you hear the voice grow closer as she headed up the stairs.

“Babe! You home?” She kept calling out to him but he wasn’t saying a word.

You were more concerned of her possibly finding out that you were here so you just keep quiet and do your best to remain calm. You were losing your shit in your mind but you believe in Jungkook enough to handle this. You just keep yourself poised so you can wait for this to all be over.

You hear the handle of the bathroom door jolt, you had it locked so no one could come in. You had no idea who was shaking the doorknob but you weren’t going to take your chances.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You hear his wife asks, now knocking on the door quietly.

“I know you’re in there, just answer me already!”

You hug yourself and rock back and forth to drown out the sounds of her. You couldn’t take it anymore, all the guilt kept rushing back to you now. You regret even being here at this point. Teleportation would really come in handy at this moment.

“Jungkoo- oh finally you show up!” She says in a chipper tone now.

“Hey Soyeon…” he didn’t sound enthusiastic at all to hear from her.

“Why is the bathroom door locked?” She asks out of curiosity.

You hear him give the worst excuse that you ever heard in your whole life of living.

“Oh damn is it really? I must have accidentally locked it or something, how weird is that!”

“I don’t think that’s even possible to do Jungkook..” she continued “what were you getting up to? Hiding someone in there?”

You know she was only joking but the irony of it was enough to make Jungkook become even more defensive.

“No silly, that’s crazy! I just accidentally locked it from the inside is all.”

“Well unlock it back, I gotta use the bathroom!”

“Then use the downstairs one.”

“What the fuck why? When’s there’s a perfectly good bathroom in front of me, stop with this nonsense and just open it already!” She demands.

You couldn’t stop fidgeting now, this whole situation was about to get blown up in Jungkook’s face and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

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liveontelevision · 14 days

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Hi! I wasnt exactly sure if you’re taking request but i was hoping for something with Lucifer and a babysitter reader. Maybe they baby sat Charlie, and they just have a lot of tension. And then maybe them reuniting after him and lilith have split and it all goes down 👀

Love your slowburny Lucifer fics 🙏🙏

!!!

First off, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoy my stuff! I've been struggling with writing recently, so your request was perfectly timed lol

Also Yes! I'm always taking requests!

Plus, it's such a good request.. so good, I had way too many ideas for how it could go. So - this is a 2 parter >:) Suffer

CW: No smut yet, just suggestive fluff for now

Suffer | Lucifer x Reader

It really was a happy day in Hell when the royals introduced an heir to the throne. A darling daughter, who was the first of her kind; A hellborn baby, birthed by a sinner and an archangel. No one really knew what to expect or what kind of powers she held. But they had to be immense. She had to be some kind of beast, based on her genes alone. In theory.

One look at her, all swaddled up in her mother's arms, Lucifer fell in love all over again. Sure, he was ecstatic to hear that he was having a child, but he didn't realize how much of an effect she’d have on him. She was an absolute angel. Mostly. Great powers must be controlled, and that isn't exactly something an infant can comprehend. It was innocent at first, with little fireworks coming from fingertips, toys being lost in portals, and horns and tails emerging during temper tantrums. Nothing a good nanny couldn't fix.

That’s what Lillith’s mindset was, at least. It was a heated debate between the married couple, with Lucifer arguing a child needs to be loved and adored by their parents. He was willing to put in the time, why wasn't she? Of course, Lilith was a busy demon, with the whole empowering demonkind with her voice and songs thing, but too busy to handle her own baby?

“She’s gonna be an adult before we know it. Can’t you spend a few decades seeing her grow up..?” Lillith delicately takes her cutlery to her mouth, picking at the dinner she shared with her husband, who was seated on the other end of their lengthy table.

“Unlike you, my love, I have duties to attend to. Someone has to keep things running smoothly, to keep every demon’s hopes as high as they can be. You remember what it was like falling, being all alone and left in an unfamiliar world? I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way. Would you?” He hated to agree, but did so anyway. She always knew what to say to make him feel guilty. Either way, she was right. He really didn't do much nowadays. He worked in his shop more, his newborn daughter becoming a great source of inspiration, but Lillith handled most of the publicity. Which, in Hell, is one of the only purposes for royalty. Lucifer didn't need to create life anymore, Hellborn creations were multiplying just fine. Probably a little too much, actually. He had all the free time in the world to shower his daughter with affection.

“ I mean..! I guess not, but they're filthy little demons, and this is your daughter! You want to leave her in the hands of some stranger? It’s just.. not right..! She needs a mother, Lily!” He was clearly passionate about this. Slamming his fists on the table, he sent ripples through the poured wine in front of Lillith’s plate.

“Lucifer. You’re causing a scene.” He hated when she said that, too. And again, he shrunk back in his seat, keeping his mouth shut. They had been drifting apart for a while, the distance not doing them any favors. He had no interest in interacting with demonkind and was fully comfortable with letting Lillith take that on, so they became more distant as she tended to Hell’s growing population.

When she rose from her seat, he finally perked up, hoping to meet her eyes. She was already halfway out of the room. “I’ll do all the work, darling, not to worry. I’ll make sure any candidate is thoroughly interviewed and trained, I promise.” Her voice was reassuring, even with the heartless subject matter. Leaving Lucifer alone in the room with some imps that usually stand along the walls, he spotted her almost untouched plate. pushing away from the table, he nearly knocked his heavy, ornamented chair onto the ground and left through another exit.

—

“Oh, Charlie.. Your mother loves you very much.” He swung the bundled-up baby in his arms, reveling in the sound of her giggles. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, he placed her carefully in her golden crib. Standing over her, he leaned onto the railing, watching her large red eyes flutter shut. “And.. I will shelter and adore you, sweetheart. I love you, more than anything.” He wiped a little tear that began to well up in his eye when he spoke and struggled to finally pull himself away. Protecting himself from his intrusive thoughts, he held his arms across his chest and turned to leave her nursery.

“Aww, that was so sweet..” The figure leaning in the doorframe caused him to let out a startled yelp. “Who the Hell.. You have to leave, whoever you are.” He became immediately defensive, holding his hand away from the crib in some form of protection, but he still spoke in a hushed voice. If you were just an imp he wouldn't be as worked up, but you were a sinner. A sinner who suddenly appeared in his daughter’s room. “O-oh! Um, sorry, I thought the queen would’ve.. I’m your new nanny..?” You let out a nervous chuckle, shrugging your tensed shoulders. And now? You’re admitting you're the very demon who’ll be raising his daughter alongside him. He dropped his arms, letting out a scoff, clearly unenthused. Looking you up and down, he stood there staring daggers. After a moment of awkward silence, you held out your hand to shake his, but he didn’t respond to it.

“What are your qualifications? Where did you come from? What makes you think you’re worthy of laying hands on my daughter? The princess of Hell?” He circled you, in an attempt to intimidate you, despite his small stature. “Well, um... When I was alive, I was the oldest kid at the foster house I grew up in. It wasn’t the best facility, so I basically raised most of the girls there.. I’ve seen it all, I guarantee.” You tried to lighten the mood with a quick smile, but it didint do much. “And Lillith approves of you?” You nodded, gripping the hem of your skirt nervously. “Hm. I am not as easily swayed as my wife. She’s my daughter, too. You’ll have to do better than - “ An ear-piercing wale comes from behind him. The commotion must've woken Charlie up. “Oh! No no nono..” His demonic presence faded to reveal what he really was. A father. He scooped her up and cooed, hushing her and swaying her slowly. It did nothing to help. That’s when another fact clicked in your mind; he wasn’t just a father, he was a new father. He lets out a nervous groan, wiping tears away from her heated cheeks.

“Your majesty..?” You slowly approached him, both of you still on edge. “May I?” He was clearly still debating the idea, but another loud wail had him hesitantly passing the swaddled child to your arms. He had such a light hold on her, you noticed his hands trembling when he finally released her into your grasp. You held her close, her front against your chest as you hummed in a low tone a little tune. You picked up a little trick, the vibrations from your chest helped calm her down. The action of swaying the baby and engrossing yourself in the little song running through your head actually calmed the both of you. You still spoke softly, in a low tone, “Thank you, sir. For trusting me with her, i mean. I’ll be here for anything you need. Anything she needs.” You sent him a warm smile. He simply nodded his head slowly, still witnessing the miracle that is someone with experience caring for a child. Maybe this could work out.. What could go wrong?

—

“I’m gonna getcha!” A high-pitched giggle filled the corridors of the manor, Lucifer rounds the corner to follow after his surprisingly speedy toddler. He was mostly having fun with this little game of tag but was also mildly concerned by her growing distance. “Gotcha!” A pair of arms swooped down from around another corner, scooping Charlie up as she let out a playful yelp. You held her in a tight hug, before adjusting your position to hold her up comfortably. Lucifer panted, smiling at the sight of you and his daughter, despite him being out of breath. “G-good catch.. Hoof..!” He stretches his arms upwards, then places them on the small of his back. “Aren’t you the most powerful being in Hell? Why are you acting like a middle-aged dad with a broken back?” you laughed through your words, the sound making Charlie laugh along. He stood up straight and crossed his arms over his chest, a pout on his face. “Uh, It’s for fun? Ever heard of playing pretend?” You bit your lip to prevent yourself from mocking him anymore. “Don’t laugh!” You shook your head, then watched him open his arms out to you. Or, to Charlie, actually, but you stepped back instead of handing her over. “Oh, I forgot to remind you, you actually have to head to the Heaven Embassy in a bit, so I’m gonna put Charlie down for her nap instead.” He dropped his arms and grimaced. “Right..”

This mid-day nap was a sort of tradition for Lucifer and his daughter. It was one of the few moments that Lucifer looked forward to these days. You knew that. As much as you enjoyed your job, it came with the unfortunate privilege of seeing Lucifer in his slumps. You rarely saw Lillith, actually, but that made sense. You were only here for Charlie while Lillith couldnt be. When you did spot her iin passing, you’d hand Charlie over and let the two of them have a sweet interaction, usually a quick hug and peck on the forehead, but that was usually it. You’d always notice Charlie clinging onto your shoulder and looking back in her mother’s direction whenever she handed her daughter back to you. It always crushed your heart to hear her go silent after those moments.

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d want to help get her ready for the gala tonight? You should be back in time and it won't take long. Lilith only wants her to make a quick appearance, so it shouldn't be too much work.. Good bonding moment, too!” His eyes sparkled at your invitation and he was quick to accept it. “Thank you, dear. I’ll find you after that meeting.” As he goes to walk past you, he places a hand on your back. He does this often, but as the years went on, it shifted from your shoulder to your shoulderblade, and now he delicately places his hand on your lower back whenever he can. It made you anxious at first.. Was anxious the right word? Either way, you didn't stop him.

He leaned in to place a kiss on Charlie’s forehead, becoming increasingly close to your own face. It wasn't a quick motion. He pressed a dramatic kiss onto her head, letting out a mwah! sound as he pulled back. But before he did, he looked up to you with half-lidded eyes. The eye contact seemed to last forever. And you ever wanted it to stop. A small hand came up and patted Lucifer’s cheek, a childish giggle breaking the moment between you two. What were you thinking? He’s your employer, he’s a king. He’s kind, and sweet, and tries really hard to be a good dad. Nope! Stop it.

“Right! Meeting! Heaven! Gonna.. Yup, I’ll see you.. Uh..” You finished off his words, “ - tonight?”

“Exactly! You got it! Bye, Darling!” He waved his hand off and walked off in a random direction that you were pretty sure didn't lead to where he was supposed to go. “I-I was talking to Charlie, by the way!” You heard from around the corner. You couldn’t stop your laughter with that one. “I know.” You said it softly, not letting him hear the slight disappointment in your voice.

The Gala wasn't a new event, Lillith held them often. Lucifer made his appearance with Charlie, then usually would make up some excuse to get out of the room. Gathering the leaders of each ring of Hell and some of the more powerful overlords, and demons, it was still a big deal. You dressed up Charlie often, since she would throw a temper tantrum when any of the stylists would try to get her ready. You didn't mind, you actually enjoyed prettying her up. You stalled for as long as you could, before beginning to dress her. You wanted to wait for Lucifer, but you assumed he got caught up in some kingly duties. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Don’t be upset. Stop missing him.

“Sorry - Sorry! I'm here!” The blonde demon rounds the corner, hopping on his one foot to balance himself before stopping firmly in Charlie's room. He was wearing an incredibly elegant suit. A dark purple sash cinches His waist, which was only visible because his jacket was hung over his shoulder. His shirt was speckled in gold, matching his hair when under certain light. “Had to convince them I could finish getting ready on my own! Damn stylists, can't catch a break with them.” He let out an awkward laugh, followed by a hoot. He sees Charlie, in her dark purple dress, with small poofed out sleeves, made of a transparent tool. “Charchar! Look at you, kiddo!” He scooped her up and held her close while he swung around. “You're beautiful, sweetheart.” He knew she wouldn't understand that until she was older, but never stopped him from praising her.

He pressed his forehead against hers, laughing along with her. You hated to break the tender moment, but you cleared your throat, bringing the attention back to you. “She's just about ready, just got her hair left.” He placed her back in the chair as you went for a brush. Working through her hair piece by piece, Lucifer suddenly stopped you. “Um.. can I try?” You nodded eagerly, handing the brush over. He swiped slowly, ebing startled by the crunch of a knot, he froze and pulled it away. “It’s okay, you won't hurt her - “ You didn't need to help him this way. Honestly, if anyone were to come in and witness this you could be fired. Still keeping that in mind, you place your hand over his, and guide the brush indirectly, to carefully work through her hair.

After far too long, you pulled your hand away and went to grab some other accessories. His brain was completely fried by the interaction, if this were some looney cartoon, smoke would be puffing out his ears. You weren't as calm as you were coming off as either. Why did you do that? You’d face a fate worse than a second death if anyone saw that. After letting your face cool down, you turned back and bumped Lucifer over with your hip, to take his spot directly behind Charlie. Placing your hands on her shoulders and kneeling down a bit you smile at her reflection. “What do we think, hun? Ponytail? Pigtails? Buns?”

“Braids!” You look at her with a questioning hum. “Pleease!” Braids it is. You start to section off her hair and quickly wrap one clean braid down her back. It only took you a few minutes to do it, leaving bystander Lucifer to sit in awe. He did that a lot. Whenever you’d do something with Charlie that came as second nature to you, he would watch intently. After you noticed his gaze, you began showing him how to do whatever task you had on hand. He needed those moments with her, you knew that. “Wanna give it a shot?” He jumps, as if you had just caught him doing something he shouldn't be doing. “A-Are you sure? It looks kind of complicated, I don't want to ruin her hair if - “ You interrupted his nervous rambling by calling out his title. “I’ll show you, just come watch.” He nodded, almost too quickly, and rushed to stand near you. Very near you. He stood close enough to let your shoulders touch whenever you would lift your arm a certain way. You unfurled the braid you had already done, making Lucifer let out a little sound of disappointment, that you’d ruined your hard work just for him. After attempting to explain it, he manages to struggle his way through a messy braid. He saw you holding in some kind of laugh and sent you daggers. “No - no! It’s good! Especially for your first time, it’s holding up pretty well! Here - “ You pulled the braid back out, then restarted it, letting him pick it up at an easier place. You took his wrists every so often, to turn his hand in the proper direction before letting him go on.

The focus between the two of you suddenly became intense. He stuck out his tongue a bit, too engrossed in his styling to notice. You stood behind him, your hands pressed on his back, while you stood on your tip toes to observe what he was doing from over his shoulder. Pointing out little pieces of hair that were falling out, you would reach out your pointer finger to gesture towards it, only bringing you a bit closer together.

“Is.. Is that it?” He stepped back slowly, giving you the chance to back away with him. You swung around and examined the braid that he had probably spent too much time on, with an overly dramatic hum. Tapping your chin and squinting your eyes, you researched the braid as if it were some puzzle to solve. “It looks great, Lucifer.” Looking towards him, you were expecting an overly confident grin at the acknowledged accomplishment but instead, was met with a wide-eyed bundle of nerves.

“Sir! I-It looks good, Sir! Well - I’ll let you finish getting ready and take Charlie to -” Reaching out your hands to pick Charlie up, Lucifer stops you by grabbing your arm. “It’s okay! I mean, that’s.. That’s my name! Makes sense for you to call me that, considering its my name, so - “ He lets you go and starts fiddling with the clasps on his sleeves. “It’s okay.. for you to do that..” You smile to yourself, going back to tidying up Charlie’s get-up, doing little things like putting on her darling little shoes and tying a ribbon at the end of her hair.

Lucifer then stood in front of the mirror, brushing off his shirt and slipping on his jacket. It was a dazzling plum-colored suit coat, with golden clasps across his torso, and a golden shoulder plate, that allowed a sheer cape to drape down his left side. He was absolutely stunning. You did your best to avert your eyes, staring at him felt like staring at the sun. You only turned in his direction when he cleared his throat to get your attention. “Sorry.. dear, but uh… If you’re done with Charlie, I just - I’m struggling a little bit here..” You watched him attempt to adjust his lopsided tie, finally drooping his head with a sigh of defeat. “Wow, I thought you wore one of those every day, what’s the problem?” The teasing always helped lighten the mood, you placed your hand on your hip as you leaned your weight onto the vanity. He glared at you again, letting out a huff before mumbling under his breath. “It’s a clip on..”

You let out a breath you had been holding in, partially from keeping in your laughter, but mostly from the nerves. With the combination of you wearing house slippers, and him wearing his particularly taller pair of boots, he managed to look down at you when you approached him. You should've made it a quick motion, you’ve tied bowties dozens of times, so it definitely wasn't a new task for you. But instead, you took your time. You carefully traced your hands up to his neck, tugging on both ends to pull it as far forward as it could go. You stopped to straighten the collar of his shirt, then delicately knotted the tie with ease. Your breath became heavier when you rested your hands on the finally tied bow, feeling his heart pounding against the side of your palm. After he caught you in your act, he stepped back, the image of his wife suddenly popping into his head. “Ahha.. Well, um - Thank you. I’ll take Charlie, it’s about that time anyway!”

"R-Right.." you suddenly felt guilty for your actions, worrying that you overstepped some lines. He didn't seem upset or uncomfortable, he was just silent. As he lifted Charlie from her chair, the vision of the two of them left you breathless. A beautiful pair, with porcelain skin contrasting against a palette of muted purples, and the biggest, brightest eyes. Charlie's braid hung loosely down her back, same golden strands accented in the light off the room. You almost wanted to be in the moment with them.

"Hey, so.. if you think you have time, you're welcome to go down to the ballroom for a drink or.. something... if you want." He really had to consider if that was a good idea. The thought was sitting on his mind while he enjoyed the view of your focused expression on his tie. He watched your eyes light up at the notion, his heart swelling with.. with something. "Oh! I mean - The queen talks about it like it's this big important fancy thing, but.. if you think it'll be okay.. I'll - um - " She thought for a moment, looking around the room. "I don't exactly have anything to wear.. I'll join next time, if the invites still open?" You smiled, but it was strained. And he could tell. "No problem! I'll have her find something for you, then you can slip in whenever you want. No pressure!"

With a wave of his hand, a little imp girl came from a portal he had conjured up. Peeking inside, you saw a vast collection of gowns. The imp took your hand and dragged you in silently. You stumbled, then stammered something out, something that should've been a thank you, or a show of appreciation, but you were too stunned by the situation. He waved, then Charlie waved, then the two were out of the room.

The picture of them together ran through your mind. Not just them in matching outfits, but whenever he would press his forehead against hers, or he would show off his horns when Charlie was prodding at her own. Or when they really seemed like a family. Lillith was never in those pictures. Fuck, don't be jealous. You're getting paid far too much money to feel anything like that. Plus, you're being treated to an elegant evening gown without even asking. You don't get to be jealous.

Luckily, the imp rolled out a rack of dresses, it was stuffed to the brim, but was still a more manageable collection compared to the entire room. You sifted through them, and each one that twisted your face, she took off the hanger and set aside. After narrowing it down, you were stuck on two dresses; a sultry red dress, with an incredibly high slit and a stretched velvet material that hugged you in all the right places. Definitely a head turner. Even if this gala had a V.I.P list, maybe some handsome individual could help you distract yourself.

But the other option was a glistening lavender color, the neckline went across your shoulders, turning to gloves that tapered at your knuckles. A sheer corset held your curves in place, and it was paired with pearl accessories, to go with your sleek white heels. Both were gorgeous of course, but turning your hips and taking in how you looked in that lavender gown.. you could see yourself fitting quite nicely into your mental picture of Lucifer and Charlie. You would never admit that's why you picked it. You were prettied up, your hair pulled to one side with pearl clips scattered within the strands, and a little touch of makeup that you really didnt want, but was convinced without a word by the stylist. You looked like royalty. And that made you feel good in so many ways.

—

Lucifer said you could "sneak in", and you thought it best to take that literally. Waving and greeting all the workers in the kitchen that you knew, you finally slipped through the door where the caterers traveled from. You went straight for the bar, not because you needed a drink - well, I'm sure that's part of it - but because you had no idea what to do. What, were you supposed to walk straight up to Lucifer? Or Lillith? The idea of seeing Lillith suddenly made your stomach churn. You realized that you actually got there in time to see the introductions for most of the more esteemed guests. They went through the sins, who were larger than life, then a flared announcement for the Morningstar family was belted out.

Lucifer stood with a devilish grin, looking handsome as always. Lillith was still stunning, her gown trailing behind her.. but it was black. It wasn’t purple, or plum, or lilac, it was just black. It may not have looked like a contrast to everyone, but it upset you for some reason. Charlie stood between them, looking incredibly calmed considering the intensity of the moment. Lillith was holding her small hand, but the difference in height made her strain to keep their fingers intertwined. You cringed watching her stand on the tip of her toes to keep contact with her own mother.

Quietly, as to not interupt the announcements, you beckoned the bartender to bring you a drink. You sat and sipped, your back arched as you leaned your weight onto your elbows. What were you doing here? Was this all worth it? To have your little Cinderella transformation?

"Hello, darling.. and who might you be?" A sultry voice came from behind, causing you to swivle in the chair to face where it came from. It wasn't Lucifer, which left you mildly disapointed, but you definitely weren't upset at the curvy woman standing in front of you, wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination. The swishing demonic tail wasn't something you hated either. A real fox.

"Oh, a friend invited me, I didnt want to cramp his style, so here I am." As you spoke, the bartender brings a tall flute of champagne over to the gorgeous demon in front of you. She glides to sit in the seat next to you. "Hm - well, I'd hate to see you all alone tonight, mind if I keep you company, love?" She slid her fingers up your arm and you have no idea how you managed to keep your cool. "Not at all~" maybe it was the confidence of your new appearance, but you had no issue with spending the night with this stranger.

All of a sudden, Charlie was plopped into your seated lap, causing you to look up towards an intimidating Lucifer. Examining the sudden shift in mood, you were relieved to see Lillith talking to some demons on the other side of the room. "Glad you could make it! Charlie here - reeaally missed you, thought I should say hi." He smile was forced, you noticed a slight twitch in his eye. "Ah, I see you've met my nanny! Quite a beauty, wouldn't you agree?" Lucifer came incredibly close to you, leaning in and placing his hand on your back. The only issue was the low cut of the dress, allowing you to feel his warm hands on your skin. You hoped he didn't feel the shiver run up your spine.

Taking a hold of Charlie as she climbed up your lap to hug your neck, you let out a natural laugh, feeling like yourself for the first time tonight. Looking back to your conquest, who was definitely about to ask you to "get out of here", you see a face of absolute disgust. Oh, right. You're just a sinner to these higher ups. And a working class one at that. Nanny wasn't the most flattering occupation apparently. She made a terrible excuse to get out of the conversation and walked away a little faster than she should've.

"Sir! I have no problem watching Charlie tonight, but - I was about to -" your face flushed as you tried to explain how you were just trying to get laid tonight. “Get a drink, right? Make sure you stick to the non-alchoomic stuff, hun, sounds like Charlie gets to stay up late tonight!" With a hefty pat on your back, Lucifer stepped away to talk to another random demon. What the fuck? Lucifer had beckoned the bartender over again, and when you looked back to the counter, you see a sad looking soda water. With a sigh, you guzzle the drink just to wet your dried throat.

As much a you loved Charlie, there was no better chick repellant. And even for the brave souls who decided to approach you and still show interest, Lucifer would suddenly appear, keeping his hand just above your tailbone as he mentioned your hard work as his employee. Maybe it was the word nanny, or the intimidating presence of the king of Hell, but he had to be doing this on purpose. You kind of hoped he was doing this on purpose.. After one too many fleeting suitors, you worked your magic and calmed Charlie until she fell asleep in your arms. You hummed a little tune again, the method was something she became accustomed to after you started taking care of her.

"My my~ what a sweetheart." A broad shouldered demon approached you, his lower voice ringing throughout your chest. "Isn't she? She's exhuasted, I should really get her to bed." You never took your eyes off of Charlie, making it easy for him to slip a hand around your waist." Ah, you’re her caretaker, hm? Well.. what do you have going on after you get her to bed?" His hand trails down to your hips, starting to trace a circle with his thumb. You swung away, a look of disgust on your face." Probably going to bed. By myself." You hissed. You never had a problem handling those kind of advances, and you'd do anything to keep Charlie safe, so you kept your distance. "You don't have to do that, baby~ why don't you show me around the Morningstar manor?" He closed the distance, and as you go to step back, your back hits the bar. "N-No thanks, I'm.. not..." You would have gotten nervous in the moment, if you didnt see a blonde headed angel approaching with horns threatening to burst out.

"Stay away from her." A small puff of flames came from Lucifer's snarl as he reprimanded the thug. He scoffed and stepped away as if nothing had happened. Probably the smartest thing for him to do at this point. Lucifer's suddenly glowing red eyes returned to their normal hue once he turned his attention to you. You froze in place. It felt like you were in trouble too. "You're okay?" He spoke blankly, you couldn't tell what emotion he was trying to convey, let alone how he actually feels. You nodded, keeping a hand on the back of Charlie's head." Get her to bed." With a dramatic turn, his transparent cape flew behind him and he returned to Lillith's side. He placed his hand on the small of her back.

You wanted to cry. To scream and drink until you can't think of anything. Charlie was your main priority, though. You took her to her nursery as soon as you could. Carefully changing her into her pajamas, a cute little onesie with ducks printed all over, then placed the drowsy toddler into her bed. "Oh Charlie.. You are so lucky to be so loved." You spoke geniunely, no matter your feelings, the amount of love Charlie is given and how much she gives in return was always so unbelievable to you. She was made of pure joy. Brushing some hair away from her face, you stepped back, taking your time on returning to your room.

"That is so sweet." You shot your head up, unpleasantly surprised by Lucifer's sorry face. "She's in bed, what do you need from me?" You spoke softly, as to not wake her. "You look beautiful. I just.. didn't get a chance to say that earlier, is all." Your face twisted in digust. "You know, you weren't the only one who thought that tonight. That was the first time I've been hit on in months. Couldn't you let me just enjoy the night..?" You were becoming increasingly frustrated, and it was translating clearly through your words. He flinched at your aggression, suddenly becoming defensive.

"That filfthy demon was feeling you up..! What else did you want me to do?" He started to match your energy, quietly responding in an aggitated state." Not him, the rest! I was about to leave with that lady at the bar, and I'm sure others would've enjoyed my company if I wasn't getting handed a toddler every second." You'd regret that one later, referring to Charlie as just a toddler. "That's your job, dear. Remember why you're here." He puffed out his chest, becoming increasingly close to your figure. You shrunk away, your eyes widened at his words.

"Oh- Oh, no, I didn't mean to - wait, I wasn't - " He stammered, his intimidating stature immediatly dropping as he say your eyes start to glaze over with tears, which only flowed down your cheeks after batting your made-up lashes. "Nonono! Please don't cry I - um.. " his eyes darted around the room, before reaching his arms out and reeling you in to a tightening embrace. Your chin sat on his shoulder, the shock momentarily keeping the water works at bay.

"I got nervous, okay..? I didn't want anything.. bad... to happen. I didn't want to lose you in there." Those words shouldn't tug at your heart strings at much as they did, but that and the low rumble of his voice just slightly hitting your ear made it impossible.

"I-I can handle myself.." You sniffled, your breath becoming heavier as you felt his hands start to explore your back. He rested one hand on the small of your back, sending a familiar warmth to your chest. But then, his fingers traced upwards, holding onto your shoulders for a moment, before lightly clawing down your bare back. He traced over a certain spot that tickled you the wrong way, causing you to force out a little yelp. You both stopped for a moment, the only thing you could hear was the uneven pants coming from your mouths. He pulled away for a moment, keeping his hands on your shoulders. Then eyeing you up and down, he ran his grasp across the length of your arms. "I known you can.. you're wonderful." He somehow spoke as if he was completely unaffected by the intimacy he was just showing you. Your breath only picked up more, instantly regretting what you were about to do.

With a small leap, you pulled him in by his collar and messily met his lips. It couldn't be a quick peck, that's too confusing. You wanted this to last forever. He kept his lips sealed shut at first, but that didn't last long. With a shakey breath against your lips, he pulled you in by your waist suddenly, bringing you as close to him as he could. The motion took the air out of your lungs, forcing you release a vocal sigh. He only held you tighter after that. Your arms trailed up and around his shoulders, combing through the hairs at the nape of his neck. He broke for a moment, his kisses traveling down your lips to your jawline, then down to your neck.

Flicking your hair back, he latched an incredibly wet kiss on the softness of your neck. Lucifer took the invitation of your strapless dress to fully cover you in kisses, occasionally running his tongue up the length of your neck. A panting mess, you pulled him back up by his chin, finally getting a good look at his face. He was falling apart at the seems. He looked desperate to get back to working on your neck, like he hadnt been intimate with anyone in years. You needed his lips against yours again. Holding his jaw, you pressed a kiss on his lips, then squeezed your thumb amd index finger to open his lower jaw and push your tongue into his mouth. He let out a nervous moan, before quickly catching up to you.

This wasn’t right. This part wasn't in your mental picture of a perfect family. And you knew why. Your thoughts were silenced, feeling his mouth trail back down to your collarbone. He thumbed at the top of your long glove, beginning to pull it down. God, never let this moment end.

But you forgot. You're in Hell.

With a frantic patting on his shoulder, you quickly attempted to get his attention. When Lucifer met your eyes again, they had gone wide, and he finally noticed you shaking. "Hey, hey! What is it? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes." He froze. He slowly turned his head to the door. Lillith.

—

"Darling, please, I'm sorry, you know you're the only one for me - it was a long night, mistakes were made, let's just move on, hm..?" He was begging for this moment to be over, as Lillith moved past him and approached you. You had to crane your neck to look at her, your entire body trembling. You had mascara running down your eyes, and your lipstick had smeared in all directions. Lillith lifted your head up even further, wiping some smudged lipstick from the corner of your mouth. "Lily..?" Lucifer let out softly. She let out a soft sigh. She didn't seem to be angry, which seemed to make you more nervous than if she was. "D-Don’t.. don't hurt her..." It's like he was scared to stick up for you. That, and the fact that he just called this past interaction a mistake, weighed heavily on your heart. "You think that little of me, my love? I would never. It was a mistake, after all, just as you said." She spoke so calmly but knew exactly what to say to make you cower in fear. You let out a pathetic whimper, "P-Please... I'm s-sorry, Your Highness..." She smiled and tightened her grip on your jaw for a moment before letting you go. You didn't realize she was actually lifting you up slightly until you were dropped down. “So.. we can talk and figure this out, right? Lily?" She kept her eyes off of the anxious mess that Lucifer was becoming." Of course, love. We'll talk in the morning. Oh, and obviously - " She turned towards you just before leaving the room.

"You're fired.”

—

Anyway, there is absolutely a part 2 for this don't worry and I'll get to it.. eventually.

!Taglist!

( @vififofum @thornwolfy235 @tinywolfiegirl @chipper-chip @bat-boness @misfitgirlwrites @nayomi247 @lonelynmisunderstood )

#There's a reference in here someone please get it #hazbin hotel #hazbin #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #lucifer hazbin #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer fluff #lucifer morningstar x you #lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader smut #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer smut #lucifer x you

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heesdreamer · 1 year

Text

skin on skin

PAIRING ➩ jake x reader

GENRE ➩ religious corruption au, church boy jake au, evil reader

WARNINGS ➩ heavy criticism of religion in an extreme exaggerated manner, manipulation, multiple smut scenes, the mc is straight up mean and evil and says mean things all the time lol. parental and spousal abuse… think that’s it maybe lol it’s an intense read

WC ➩ 20.4k (😵‍💫)

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ the spacing is a bit weird because apparently this exceeded the length amount in tumblr… i don’t care about your think pieces on religion or the way it’s discussed in this so please don’t try to educate me on the actual ways of christianity! it’s a story! that being said this is in no way making a mockery of jake and his religion. this is my favorite story ive ever done and i had a good time writing it which is rare lately so i really hope you enjoy it and if you make it to the end let me know what you think! hope you like it as much as i do

It wasn’t like you came out of the womb with horns and a little forked tail.

The nurses didn’t scream in terror and your mother didn’t faint at the sight of you, it wasn’t some grand discovery that anybody could see or anybody could plan for.

You made it through your formative years relatively normal, or at least as normal as you could be considering who your father was. But it wasn’t until middle school when you realized how different kids would treat you because of this.

Those were your favorite years you could remember. The half decade before anybody cared, or knew enough to care, what it meant for you to be who you were. Then you were old enough to have consciousness and design your own set of morals, something all the parents in your town dreaded.

Your town was barely that, more so a few neighborhoods sprawled across barren lands with more fields and trees than concrete and signs of the modern world that had seemingly developed everywhere, except for where you’d been born.

Sometimes you wondered if you’d been cursed to stay here forever. It seemed like everybody who was born here, died here, but unlike you they all seemed pretty content with this fact. Proud even, the elders stating the amount of years and generations they’d own their rusty old homes like it didn’t create a nasty pit in your stomach.

Time was frozen and the world had moved on, leaving all 2,000 of you behind to die and birth and die again until eventually the last generation killed themselves off in an act of sympathy, a mercy slaughter.

It was probably immoral to be thinking about your entire town dying whilst in church. But you didn’t think much about the implication of having sinful thoughts anywhere, regardless of how many crosses were currently burning stares into your back.

More than 70% of your life was spent inside these four walls, on this exact weathered seat on this same old pew.

See, when turned 12 years old and the kids at school made you aware of the fact your dad was the lead preacher at the only church in town, you figured this made you some sort of royalty.

Not once did you feel the overwhelming holy presence of god that everybody else seemed to be experiencing everyday after school and work when you all settled in together to listen to your fathers teachings.

You’d sit with a scowl on your face, turning around in the front row pew reserved for the preachers family and you’d observe the people around you. You knew everybody in your town, some more than others, but you always thought people looked different when they prayed.

The nice man who worked at the grocery store looked far more guilty and weathered with his eyes closed and the angry woman two blocks away who yelled at the kids riding their bikes too close to her sprinklers, looked peaceful like she was talking to an old friend.

Your mother would hiss under her breath in an attempt to catch your attention, sending soft pinches to your thighs until you’d begrudgingly turn back in your seat and plop down in your puffy dress, tuning out the sound of your fathers loud voice.

Looking back on it now, your mother seemed to notice the dark parts of you brewing before you even did. The two of you never saw eye to eye and despite the fact you were her only child, much to her dismay considering they tried for years after your birth to have another but to no avail, she never treated you with any sort of motherly warmth or kindness.

She’d glare at you from across the dinner table while her and your father conjoined hands and thanked the lord for the meal that your mother had cooked. You’d started to sit on your hands at dinner when you were 7 years old and what once was a cute misbehaving habit quickly became the warning sign of your future endeavors.

Still, part of being the preachers family was playing an act. So you’d all get up early in the mornings and wordlessly move around the house like the backstage of a play, dressing the part and giving bright smiles to each family that walked through the doorway on Sunday morning.

Your mother would stand behind you with a long stretched out smile, hands on your thin shoulders as she dug her nails down every time she felt you tense up at a greeting.

Then you were 16 and for the first time in your life, you heard her voice the thing you’d always assumed she believed. You stood in the hallway in your nightgown, standing stiff as a board to avoid the creaking wood of your old house, peering around a dimly lit corner to hear your parents conversation more clearly.

“She hasn’t done anything wrong Mary.” Your fathers rough low voice was flowing in your direction, sounding tired and agitated. You could vaguely hear the sounds of his rough hands rubbing over his unshaven scruff in frustration.

“She will.” Your mother sounded panicked and alert, desperate for him to understand her case. “I can’t explain it but she has this darkness in her, I’ve felt it ever since I was pregnant.”

Your breath caught in your throat as they spoke, understanding now they were referring to you. You were only slightly surprised, no grand feelings of fear or betrayal arising.

That nights conversation had ended with your mother in a fit of tears and your father uttering words of reassurance in an attempt to calm her down as you used the sounds of her loud sobs to sneak back to your room, getting under the covers and blowing out the candles by the time your father was opening your door to insure you were in bed.

He’d stood there for a few minutes, the door cracked with his hand on the knob. Do this day you wondered what he was waiting for. Maybe he was expecting you to talk in your sleep or he was trying to get some sense of the evil your mother was spewing about, but eventually you heard his tired sigh and the door shutting.

It’d been three years now since that conversation and you still hadn’t fully understood the evil your mother was referring to. You didn’t believe in god, that much had been clear to you from a very early age but you didn’t believe in the devil either.

You didn’t feel things maybe you should be feeling, sadness when an elder passed away unexpectedly or happiness when a new baby was born into the community. You didn’t feel pain when your mother shot you looks of disgust and you only felt slight jolts of satisfaction when she leapt in fear every time you entered a quiet room.

The seed of evil that was apparently inside of you never bloomed, no matter how much you waited for its arrival.

Until the day the Sim’s arrived to town.

It was extremely rare for somebody to move out of your hometown, and you’d been instructed to never speak about the families that left, to let yourself forget their names and faces. Forget any interaction you’d had with them now that they were gone.

But you’d never once contemplated the fact that it was possible to move here willingly. It hadn’t occurred to you that somebody would choose this place to live and that they’d be allowed to stay peacefully, and especially not given a grand welcome.

So you felt yourself uncharacteristically thrown off guard as you found yourself at church on a Saturday, typically your only day you weren’t required to be here. You’d spend these days down by the creek or riding around the abandoned section of town on your bike, trying to find something interesting to see.

As you stood near the stage, where your fathers podium was perfectly centered and polished, greeting the usual faces with a forced smile, your eyes landed on the most interesting sight you’d ever seen.

The Sim’s were a direct mirror of your family as they stood in front of you. Only three of them, a tall man giving your father a sturdy handshake and laughing like old friends and a small meek woman who was holding your mothers hand in both of hers, a thankful smile on her face.

Placed directly in front of you was a boy, seemingly your age, shifting back and forth on his feet as he waited for you to initiate any form of greeting.

There was people your age in town, your graduating class held 25 kids and over half of them were girls, daughters that were considered blessings for their special ability to continue on your towns population. You’d met boys, few handsome but handsome none the less but nobody who looked like the one standing in front of you.

He was taller than you, peering down at you from behind thin framed glasses and about double your width. You imagined you were hidden behind his shoulders to the view of the people stood in line behind him, waiting to greet your family.

His skin was tanned, something that you imagined wouldn’t last long considering you weren’t sure your town was blessed by the sun at all, almost constantly grey and dreary looking even in the peak of summer.

You took your time observing the boy, not feeling any sense of urgency at the knowledge people were watching and waiting, not even at the fact your mother was stood directly next to you and you could feel her stare on the side of your face. Her loss of attention seemed to make the boys mother nervous and she placed her hands on his shoulders.

“And this is our son, Jake.” She was chirping out and you almost wanted to laugh at how desperate she seemed to impress your family. The boy, Jake, was looking at you still for a second before his eyes shot to your mother and he gave her a nervous smile. “He’s shy at first but he’s a very good boy.”

His eyes flicked back over to yours as she spoke and your mouth quirked up in a small smile, finally sticking out your hand in offering to him.

You felt a strange feeling build up inside you, splattering against your ribs and painting your insides with something deep and powerful. As you held his hand in yours, your eyes caught onto your mothers and you could see the fear crossing over her expression at her own realization.

“Hi Jake.”

And the seed bloomed.

——

It wasn’t more than 30 seconds after your father finished his last word, the remains of it still echoing throughout the room underneath the chorus of ‘amen’s, that your mother was gripping your arm and dragging you back into his office space.

She closed the door swiftly and you yanked your arm out of her grip with a scowl, staring at her for an explanation about her sudden behavior despite having a slight inkling of what she was about to say to you.

“You can’t.” She spoke vaguely, an angry desperation in her voice like you were a feral dog with a hungry look in its eye.

“What are you talking about?” You lowered your agitation, doing your best impression of a confused and fearful daughter. She scoffed at your expression and held a hand to her mouth like she was genuinely amazed at your audacity.

“You leave that boy alone Y/N, or so help me God.” She was shaking her head at you and you felt a surge of annoyance at her tone, her voice shaky and weak.

You thought she was slightly pathetic. She’d spent her entire life treating you like the devil, implying your evil and avoiding you at all cost but the second you finally start to understand her concern and she’s immediately turned to pleading and bargaining. There was no fun in this for you.

Soft knocks against the door caught her attention and she looked over your shoulder, trying to ignore the fact you were still staring at her and not bothering to turn and face whoever had entered.

“Go home and get dinner started.” Your fathers voice was entering the room now in a hushed whisper, like somebody was still outside behind him. “We are going to have a welcome meal with the new residents.”

Your mothers eyes shot back in your direction at his words, like she was begging you to remember her previous warning and you offered her a small smirk before turning to face your father with a toothy grin, expression changing now.

“Of course father, whatever you need.”

——

You’d ignored your mothers glare the entire time you worked on dinner together, setting the table casually and changing into a less formal dress that gained a thumbs up of approval from your father.

When the Sim’s arrived, you greeted them similarly to how you did at church except your mother made sure to shake Jake’s hand for a prolonged amount of time so you couldn’t, only breaking apart when your father cleared his throat and ushered you all towards the polished dining room.

He took his seat at the head of the table and you briefly wondered what type of man Jake’s father was. He was larger than your dad, much larger and you noticed a hint of irritation in his face when he took a seat on the side. You imagined he sat similarly to your father at his own house and didn’t find great pleasure in the new arrangement.

There was three seats on each side and your mother had rushed to take a middle seat next to you, attempting to block anybody else from being seated beside you.

However your father cleared his throat subtly and sent the both of you a small glare, confused at the fact she hadn’t adorned her usual seat next to him. You were sure he realized it would be strange for her to sit a seat away from him, making them look distant or troubled.

She sent you a small angry look but shifted over a space so she was now sat in her usual place, leaning an empty chair between the two of you.

An empty chair that was soon taken by Jake, his mother sending him an encouraging smile and giving him a slight nudge in your direction. You remembered what she said about him being shy, not hiding the fact she was trying to create a friendship between the two of you.

His mothers face angered you more than your own. She was small and weak looking, constantly smiling with wide eyes like she was waiting to drop into a conversation at any time to force a connection, yet she rarely did throughout dinner. For the most part she stayed silent, nodding along obediently every time her husband spoke.

So you kept your attention on the boy for the most part, figuring the adults were too busy kissing eachothers ass’s to care about what the two silent teenagers were doing at the end of the table.

You knew he could feel the way you were watching him, sending you small glances out of the side of his eye and shifting uncomfortably in his seat every time he realized you were still looking.

He really was handsome you were deciding. You’d never really paid attention to boys before, understanding the difference between being attractive and not but it didn’t have any affect on you. You liked the slope of his nose and the way his throat bobbed with every nervous gulp he took.

Your father was seemingly noticing your mutual disinterest in the conversation, you watching Jake and him watching his empty plate. “Y/N honey, why don’t you take Jake to your room and show him some of your notes on our latest teachings.”

Both of your heads turned towards him as he said this, your eyes lighting up with excitement and Jake’s widening slightly.

“Oh..” His mother was starting and you resisted the urge to glare in her direction. “Jake isn’t… he’s never..”

Jake’s father sent her a sharp look and she snapped her mouth shut immediately, looking away from him. Your excitement only doubled as you realized she wasn’t comfortable leaving her son alone with a girl, leading you to believe he never had been before.

“Of course father.” You smiled at him softly, standing and flattening out your dress in a prudish manner. Jake glanced in your direction as you stood, clumsily rising out of his own chair as you headed up the stairs and down the hall to your room.

He followed wordlessly behind, still not speaking even when you stood in the doorway and let him awkwardly squeeze past you so he was stood stiffly in the center of your room. You closed the door behind you and he froze, eyes widening again.

“What are you doing?” His voice was high with worry and you realized it was your first time hearing him speak.

“What are you talking about?” You played dumb as you observed him, walking backwards until your legs hit your bed and you could sit carefully. He stayed standing as he watched you with confusion and worry.

“Mother says not to close doors.” He was shaking his head and it looked like he wanted to go and open it himself. He didn’t move however and you leaned back to rest on your hand, cocking your head in his direction.

“Do you always do what mommy says?” You questioned.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly at your condescending tone. You’d seemed nice enough at church and dinner, not speaking much but polite to your parents whenever you did. He was suddenly worried he had angered you.

“I guess she did say you were a good boy.” You quoted what his mother had said when she introduced him, voice carrying a faint mocking tone as you spoke.

He didn’t say anything after you said that, just standing there looking at you like you were some form of animal he’d never seen before. And maybe he hadn’t you were beginning to think, his speech was structured and tight like he was reciting lines and you were curious if he’d ever had a conversation with somebody his own age.

Your hand reached over to pat the bed next to you, raising an eyebrow at him and urging him to sit.

He watched you with that same look for a few seconds before looking back at the door like he was contemplating how fast he’d have to bolt out of it before you could sink your claws into him. He seemed to decide it wasn’t worth it, crossing the room and sitting down as far away from you as he could possibly get.

“Where’d you come from?” You didn’t plan to say that but the curiosity was driving you crazy, not quite understanding how he could be so sheltered.

“A village not far from here.” He was eventually answering with a soft shrug. He was sat perfectly straight on your bed, posture making him look even taller than he already was considering you were still leaned back on your palm.

You should’ve figured he was from a village, suddenly understanding why his mother was practically a house wife from the 1800’s and his dad looked relatively similar to a lumberjack.

“No girls at your village?” You were watching the side of his face as you questioned him, growing slightly agitated that he wasn’t looking at you. “Jake.”

He turned his face towards you when you addressed him, eyes widening like he was worried you were going to scold him from the sound of your stern call.

“I asked you a question.” When he didn’t immediately answer you assumed he hadn’t heard you, repeating yourself. “Was there no girls where you’re from?”

He was shaking his head swiftly, looking at his hands and then back towards you. “None like..”

“None like me?” You interrupted him as he started to trail off and your lips quirked into a smile. “So no pretty girls then.”

He frowned as you hummed and nodded your head like you’d made sense of what he was trying to say. He didn’t look like even he understood what the things you were saying meant and you almost pitied him as you slowly unlocked the full extent of his naivety.

“You’ve probably never even held hands with a girl right?” You kept your tone sweet despite your intentions.

He looked like he only slightly relaxed at your change of tone, glancing at you as he shook his head as a way to answer your question. He didn’t understand why you wanted to know this.

You were sitting back up straight, off your hands, and leaning sideways to get closer to him. He watched you with panicked eyes as you reached down near his lap and took his hand in yours, similarly to how you shook it at the church but the tension in the room was a direct opposite.

He made a strange noise when you touched him, a semi squeak at the suddenness of your contact and you smiled at him, scooting closer so you weren’t awkwardly stretching your arm in his direction.

“How does it feel?” You murmured, fighting the urge to lean against him and whisper in his ear. You didn’t want to scare him off just yet.

“I don’t think I should be in here.” He was shaking his head as he spoke and staring down at your conjoined hands or maybe the floor past them. They were resting in his lap, the back of your hand on his right thigh.

You frowned softly although he wasn’t looking at you, trying to keep up with your act. He seemed to be more pliant earlier when he thought he had upset you. “Jake.”

He glanced at you as you said his name, just like he had before, and his gaze looked guilty when he noticed the frown on your face. You squeezed his hand to try to bring his attention back to the fact you were touching him but he shook his head again.

“I really need to go Y/N.” He was still trying to sound polite despite his obvious discomfort and you almost smiled at the innocence of that.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” You let a small whine sink into your tone, really trying to drive home the idea that he was upsetting you and you felt him squeeze your hand absentmindedly.

He didn’t reply after you said that and the room fell into a strange silence. Then he was sending a heavy glance in your direction and your mouth parted in realization, understanding his inner monologue by the thick amount of guilt in his expression.

“You do want me to touch you.” You let your smile show now, not finding any reason to hide it now that he clearly took your bait. He squeezed his eyes shut as you said this and shook his head again, his hair messy now and falling into his face.

“What’s wrong Jake?” You were almost cooing at him, your hand sliding out of his and up his wrist, in result the back of your hand going further up his thigh. You kneaded at his wrist bone and he grunted at the almost painful sensation. “It’s just skin.”

He looked at you with a frustrated expression, holding eye contact for a few seconds much to your surprise. You were almost worried he was going to cry. You didn’t mind it personally, if anything you were thinking about how pretty he’d look with watery eyes and a red nose, but you imagined it would cause some level of concern with the parents.

So you released your grip on his wrist, taking your hand back and placing it on your own lap. You were still sitting far too close to him but he visibly relaxed at the lack of touch, however slightly confused why you had backed off.

Almost like the world had been paused for the entirety of your conversation and now played again, a soft knock on your door caused you to leap away from him and grab the bible your father insisted was kept on your nightstand at all times.

You were relieved to see his face when the door opened, knowing your mother would have most likely immediately sniff out what you’d been doing. Or at least attempting to do.

Your father looked between the two of you and the large space, nodding in approval when you flashed him a smile and opened to a random page in the book. He didn’t seem to notice how tense Jake was or the fact your door had been closed in the first place.

“Your parents are leaving Jake. You can stay a bit longer if you two are having fun.” Your father was saying in a welcoming voice but Jake was hopping off your bed before he even had a chance to finish.

“No, sir. Thank you but I really should get home and finish unpacking.” He was stumbling over his words and awkwardly shifting in place, waiting for your dad to move out of the doorway so he could make his escape.

Your dad shot you a confused look over Jake’s shoulder and you gave him a small shrug, fighting the urge to smile.

——

Guilt was eating Jake alive the entire ride home. He wasn’t quite sure what he had necessarily done wrong, what level of sin he had just committed, but his mother kept shooting him disappointed looks in the mirror.

“Will you stop looking at the boy like that.” His fathers gruff voice was mumbling from the drivers seat and his mom snapped her eyes back to the front window obediently. “It’ll be good for him to make a friend.”

“What type of girl leads a boy to her bedroom?” He was surprised his mother had spoken again, especially in the harsh tone she was using. She must’ve been angry enough at you and your behavior to forget the fear she held for Jake’s father.

He felt a bit strange as she said that. You were definitely weird and had made Jake feel something he’d never experienced, and he positively wanted to leave your room as quick as possible but he didn’t think you deserved such a mean comment.

He continued to feel strange for the rest of the night.

Jake laid in bed, hours past his usual bed time, and replayed your interaction in his head. Every time he got to the part where you grabbed his wrist in your tight hold, he squeezed his eyes shut and asked god to forgive him.

He could feel his stomach light up when he thought about your hand on his pants and he wanted to dig his nails into the skin as a self punishment for the thoughts brewing in his head, thoughts he had never had before and didn’t understand.

Rolling over in his bed, stomach to the mattress, he stuffed his face into his pillow and cried softly until he eventually fell asleep.

——

You felt giddy in the church pew the next morning after seeing Jake walk in with his parents. You immediately knew your plan had worked judging by his puffy face and swollen eyes. He’d clearly gotten no sleep and you could take a strong guess at the reason why.

A sick part of you was ecstatic at the fact you had something to do, something that actually managed to catch your interest.

If all it took to keep Jake up all night was you touching his hand, than you were preparing for more fun than you originally thought.

The morning had gone routinely as you remained in your seat for the entire sermon, not spinning around to try to catch a look at the boy despite the urge constantly in the back of your mind. You didn’t focus for a second but you did a solid job pretending until you heard a hushed voice behind you excusing themself.

You snuck a glance back to see Jake passing through his pew with muttered apologies and thanks to the people he was passing, smiling softly at them.

You watched him exit the pew and make his way down the main aisle, no doubt heading towards the bathroom hall since it was the only other part of the building outside of your fathers head office. You let him disappear from your sight and counted to 30 before abruptly standing and following his path before your mother could grab your hand in denial.

By the time you made it to the hall, Jake was exiting the bathroom with damp hands and a few wet strands of hair like he had splashed his face in an attempt to wake up.

His eyes widened when he saw you approaching and he glanced behind him like he was considering disappearing back into the bathroom so you couldn’t say anything to him. You smiled at this but didn’t move closer to him, leaning against the wall.

“What are you doing?” He watched you with careful eyes, not quite sure what you wanted.

You shrugged and furrowed your eyebrows. “What are you doing? You look tired, did you not get any sleep?”

He didn’t say anything as he looked at you, eyes heavy and guilty again like he was afraid you could read his mind. Unlucky for him, you didn’t have to read his mind to know what was happening in it.

“Were you thinking about me?” You pushed forward on his suspicions when he didn’t respond to you, tilting your head as you looked at him.

He didn’t respond again, letting out a small tired exhale before leaning against the wall opposite of you. The hallway was tensioned despite not being close enough to touch even if you stretched your arm out.

“I was thinking about you.” You suddenly confessed in an attempt to catch his interest or potentially get him to lower his walls enough for a solid conversation. It seemed to work considering his head was snapping up and he was looking at you with wide questioning eyes. “Is thinking a sin?”

He watched you for a few seconds, slightly embarrassed that you had somehow realized what his inner dilemma lead back to.

“Yes.” He answered matter of factly and you let out a small laugh.

You observed the way his lips awkwardly quirked up, like he was pleased he made you laugh despite being dead serious in his answer. His smile pulled at his cheeks for a second and you liked the way he nervously wiped his sweaty hands on his pants.

“What… what were you thinking about?” He squeezed the words out like they were painful after a silence fell between the two of you. You felt a bud of satisfaction at the fact he’d been curious enough to ask.

“Touching you.” You shrugged like it was a casual thing to say, watching his shoulders tense and his mouth part slightly in shock and disapproval.

“My hand?” You were a bit surprised that he asked a follow up question, voice dropping into a scared whisper like he was worried somebody was eavesdropping, maybe he was worried god could hear him.

You were watching him for a few uncomfortable beats, liking the way his cheeks turned red and he kept looking away from your gaze anxiously. Then you were shaking your head to answer his question, taking a step closer to his side of the hall.

His breath hitched as you kept taking small strides in his direction, taking your time with a loose smile on your face like you were out for a casual walk. You stopped next to him, turning and pressing your back against the wall he was leaned on so your shoulders were pressing together.

You wondered if he was planning to hold his breath the entire time you were touching him this time around, his face reddening even though your skin was separated by multiple pieces of thick fabric.

“Would you let me touch you again?” You leaned over slightly so you were closer to his ear, your chin hovering over his shoulder.

“You can’t.” He was immediately denying your request, stiff and agitated sounding. His voice was tight as he spoke like he was having to force the words out. “Please don’t do this.”

“Because you’re a good boy right?” You were even closer now, your lips touching the shell of his ear and he was shuddering against you, a frustrated whine in his throat.

He sent a sharp glare in your direction, at least as sharp as his features could get. You thought he looked cute when he was mad at you, eyes brows furrowed and his glasses sliding to the tip of his nose. Despite the way he was looking at you, he made no attempt to push you away or step apart himself.

“I want you to come to my house after church.” You whispered to him and he didn’t say anything, for once not shaking his head and just looking at you as you spoke your cruel demands. “I’ll tell my dad to talk to your parents about helping you catch up on his teachings.”

He looked amazed at your audacity, to not only lie to your parents but to lie about the lord and the Bible made his stomach turn in disgust.

Still, he almost couldn’t help but to lean his shoulder closer to yours and watch you with wide eyes and a parted mouth. He felt almost transfixed by you and your newness, the unique energy you gave off that made his head spin. He nodded his head slowly and watched you smile.

——

You’d waited for your mother to leave the house, a very rare occurrence for her outside of her weekly bingo nights at the recreational center in town, before you poked your head into your fathers office to request he calls the Sim’s.

You felt strangely jittery as you waited for them to send Jake over. Surprisingly, the Sim’s hadn’t moved into a house that far from you and you imagined he could probably ride a bike to your house in less than twenty minutes if the weather ever allowed it, rainy days an almost constant feature around this time of year.

It was only around half an hour before you heard knocks on the front door, followed by the low tone of your fathers voice and eventually the creaking of the steps as somebody made their way up to your bedroom.

Jake seemed thrown off when he saw you, dressed in far more casual clothes than he’d seen you in so far. He also looked momentarily relieved at the fact your door was wide open and you didn’t make any move to shut it as he crossed into the threshold of your room.

“Hi.” He politely addressed you with a slight bow and wave, avoiding looking at you fully where you sat on the bed. You gave him an incredulous look and sighed before patting the spot next to you.

He looked like he was dreading this but expecting it, only taking a few seconds of hesitation before he was shuffling over and sitting slowly down on your soft bed. You immediately scooted closer to him and grabbed his hand in yours.

His reaction wasn’t as intense as last time although he did immediately stiffen and his eyes snapped wide open, but he didn’t let out a small shriek at the feeling of your touch like he did yesterday.

“Are you going to let me touch you today?” You kept your voice low and he was suddenly very aware of the fact your door was completely open and your father was just a few feet away downstairs.

He slowly looked over at you, peering up from behind his long eyelashes and you wanted to grab his face with your nails. He looked like a puppy who had just done something naughty, big eyes unmoving from nerves as they darted around your face so he could avoid holding your strong gaze.

“This isn’t right.” He whispered back, eyes pleading as they finally locked onto yours. You almost felt sorry for him as he spoke, obviously so desperate to set you back on the right path in life. “Mother said I shouldn’t lay a hand on anybody, not even myself.”

You almost smiled as he said this, pleased at the new information he was unknowingly providing you with.

“It’s just skin.” You were reminding him again, slowly leaning against him so your chest was pressed against the side of his arm. His breath hitched at this and he glanced down at your upper body for a second. “You’ve never touched yourself?”

He shook his head immediately, face annoyed like he was offended you’d even suggest he would do such a thing. You liked that even though he was uncomfortable and denying his thoughts towards you, he still wasn’t seemingly capable of pushing you away. He’d still shown up to your house.

“I touch myself.” You were leaning forward more so you could talk into his ear again. A soft whimper left his throat when your lips grazed his skin again but he didn’t say anything, like he was waiting for you to continue. “On this bed, I touch myself every night.”

It was a slight exaggeration. You hadn’t really felt a strong need to touch yourself ever, never having a subject of attraction that left you longing enough that you’d roll around in bed late at night thinking about it, squeezing your thighs together in frustration.

But you were transfixed by the way he immediately tensed again, glancing back behind you towards where your pillows were and then immediately shooting forward and falling to the cross hanging on the wall in front of you both.

“It’s just skin.” You repeated to him again and he sucked in a shaky breath as you said it, bringing his guilty pained eyes back to you. You almost cooed at him, clicking your tongue and holding his chin softly. He leaned into the touch like he wasn’t meaning to and you wondered how touch starved he must be.

Your hand that wasn’t holding his face fell down to his lap, laying flat and still on his thigh as you let him process what you were doing.

He stiffened again and let out a low troubled groan, shaking his head again at himself. You wondered what he was thinking right now, if he was convinced he was heading straight for hell because of his thoughts alone so maybe it didn’t matter if he let you touch him. Or maybe he was seconds away from bolting downstairs and telling your father about what you’d been attempting to do.

“This isn’t right.” He was whispering and still trying to shake his head the best he could with your grip on his face. His repetition was starting to bug you, suddenly feeling impatient as he still hadn’t taken the bait fully.

“But it feels so good.” You purred into his ear, turning his head back to look at the cross and scooting closer so you were pressed tightly against his side. The sensation of this mixed with your hand on his leg was overwhelming and he felt slightly suffocated. “I want to show you Jake, let me show you how good it feels.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you considered letting him go, wanting to have him completely might mean waiting some time so you didn’t scare him off.

Then he was surprising you and looking back in your direction, your hand falling to his collarbones instead so he could decide what to do with his head. He gave you a soft nod, looking like he immediately regretted it when you wasted no time, pushing your hand forward onto the center of his pants.

He immediately lurched forward with a loud groan at the feeling of your hand on him and you shushed him softly, using the hand on his face to bring him back up to a sitting position and pet his face lovingly.

“You have to be quiet Jake.” You whispered in his ear and nodded towards your open door. He looked at you with a desperate glance, like he was pleading for you to close it despite his upset at that yesterday. You shook your head softly. “Can you be a good boy Jake?”

You started to slowly knead your hand against him, wanting to smile at the fact he was already hard before you had touched him. Light teasing and your soft hand on his thigh already had him bothered.

He was making small noises and you kept his face turned in your direction with your hold back on his jaw. You were sitting up straighter than him so he was a bit below you, having to look up through his eyelashes as he surprisingly held eye contact with you.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” You murmured excitedly, eyes wild and eager. He didn’t reply verbally, another small whine slipping from his throat and you pressed down hard on his cock through his pants. “I asked a question.”

Now he was nodding desperately, hands reaching out to grip your wrist in an attempt to lessen the pressure you were applying to him. “Good- feels good.”

His voice was strained and raspy like it was crawling its way out of his throat and you smiled with sick satisfaction, leaning forward so you were closer to his face. Your nose pressed against his and you thought about kissing him for just a few seconds, eventually deciding against it.

Jake was writhing on the bed now, desperately moving into your hand with small groans and whines, his hips lifting off the blanket in an attempt to chase your touch every time you removed it. He didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it, a dazed expression on his face.

He seemed out of it until your hand was leaving his face and sliding down his sweater covered chest. He didn’t seem to realize you were doing it until your hand was pressing on his stomach slightly, fidgeting with the singular button on his jeans and tugging on the zipper impatiently.

“No, no.” He was whining, grabbing your wrist to stop you from snaking your hand down his pants, touching him without any layers between. “You can’t do that.”

“Why?” You asked incredulously, leaning forward so you were hovering over him slightly. He leaned back on his hand a bit to avoid bumping into your face and you were a few inches from laying on top of him. “I promise it’ll feel so good Jake.”

The usage of his name made him wince, realizing he liked it far too much when you said it. He’d never really considered his name before, completely indifferent to it until he heard the way it rolled off your snake like tongue.

“You aren’t supposed to do that.” He practically spat the words at you but his tone lacked any anger instead sounding fearful and pained. “You can’t touch me there, you just can’t.”

You felt slightly sorry for him as he hiccuped, his voice breaking around the words as you watched tears collect in his pretty eyelashes. His eyes kept darting to the cross on the wall with a guilty expression.

You took your hands off of his lap, listening to his sigh of longing at the loss of contact. You weren’t quite sure what to do in this situation despite seeing it coming, eventually opting for sitting up further on the bed and pulling him into your neck, wrapping your arms around his shaking body in a hug.

He leaned into it and hesitantly wrapped himself around you, tucking his face into your warm neck and letting out a few sobs, tugging you forward slightly by your lower back.

You let him cry for a while, hushing him softly every few minutes just in case, although you were in a less compromising position now, you still didn’t think your father would be thrilled to find you half in the lap of a sniffling boy who was still hard against you.

“Jake.” You were eventually murmuring into his hair once his hiccups subsided slightly, he nuzzled into your neck further at the sound of your soft tone. “What if I didn’t use my hands?”

He picked his head up at this and furrowed his eyebrows at you, his eyes puffy and red with wet streaks still going down his face.

“I don’t understand.” He looked more puppy like than normal as he said this in a soft breathy voice, voice hoarse from crying and his lip almost jutting out into a confused frown.

“Can I show you?” You kept your voice soft as you spoke to him and he immediately nodded his head. He clearly had found some sort of comfort in your embrace, a connection being made enough for him to fall into this state of vulnerability, willingly to accept what you were wanting to give him now.

You felt a sick rush of adrenaline at his lowered walls, the sudden dumb eagerness in his eyes as he seemed to seek out any sign of contact from you.

You imagined it was a flood of emotions, a confusion and tiring feeling to suddenly be presented with a situation that went against everything your life had been carefully crafted around. Not to mention how addicting it must feel to suddenly learn what was on the other side and how good it felt, having unbothered access to it as the two of you sat huddled on your bed.

Kissing his cheek softly, you slowly slid off the bed onto the floor, suddenly thankful you had a thick rug on your bed side. He watched you in confusion, looking like he wanted to grab you and help you up before you shot him a stern look.

Your hands were back on his jeans now that you were fully situated and he looked like he wanted to object for just a second before lifting his hips off the bed so you could pull them down to pool around his ankles.

You took just a second to admire him, his pretty tanned skin overwhelming you a bit in its sheer amount. His legs were surprisingly thick, muscular like an athlete and you briefly remembered you didn’t know much about him at all.

That didn’t bother you at all, if anything it made you want him more when you looked up at him to see his nervous eyes staring down at you in concern. He looked humiliated and you imagined it had something to do with the fact he was still extremely hard, even after crying for so long.

If he was more stable in his emotions, less flighty, you would’ve made fun of him. You would’ve called him names and made him cry all over again and then taken his innocence without a second thought.

Instead you carried on the kindness act, leaning forward and pressing a kiss against his length through his underwear.

He immediately hissed and shot forward, not realizing what you were planning to do and not understanding why you were doing this. He started to stammer out in confusion and you shushed him again, sending a sharp glare towards the open door in warning.

“What are you doing?” He sounded absolutely blown away now, even more than he did earlier and it settled in your mind that he clearly had absolute no sexual knowledge, including blowjobs. “That’s dirty, you can’t do that.”

“Why not?” You were mock frowning up at him. “Did mommy say so?”

He knew you were making fun of him but he still nodded in response, not liking the sudden return of your mean tone. He forgot all about it when you were leaning forward again, this time touching your lips to him longer and sucking softly through the fabric.

“Mommy’s not here.” You were breathing out when you pulled away from him again, much to his dismay considering he immediately lifted his hips back in your direction. “And doesn’t it feel nice?”

He was nodding his head dumbly in agreement, feeling dizzy from the foreign emotions. He still didn’t understand what you were doing but it felt too good to keep questioning, forgetting momentarily about sin and how much punishment was going to come his way after this.

You were sliding your hands up his thighs slowly, stopping at the waistband of his boxers and glancing up at him for any sign of refusal. You didn’t care much for his discomfort but you weren’t going to force him to do anything, despite how much fun you were having with him.

He didn’t make any move to stop you, not even seeming to notice or understand what you were planning to do until you pulled on the elastic swiftly.

Then he was shooting back up from where he’d been leaning back, shaking his head again and covering himself with his hands. You smiled at him from your place on the floor and he looked at you like you were crazy.

You were getting slightly frustrated despite your pleased expression, wanting him to quickly understand what you were planning on doing. You gripped his wrist tightly and pulled them away from his lap

“What are you doing?” He was whispering in a panicked tone, his hands hovering above your head like he was debating pulling you away from him. He let out a yelp when you leaned forward and took the head of his cock into your mouth, watching him with hooded eyes. “T-that’s dirty, stop it.”

You wanted to laugh at his wording choices, sounding like he was a worried mother scolding their child for playing in mud.

“It’s dirty?” You frowned at him when you pulled back for a moment, his wide eyes falling on your wet lips. They squeezed shut just for a moment when you were licking up his full length slowly, humming at the taste of him and his weight on your tongue. “I should probably stop then right?”

He let out a panicked cry and ran a hand over his face in frustration. He wanted you to stop or at least he knew he should want you to stop. His mother had been right and you were not a nice girl, not the type of girl he should be around and he felt his stomach turn at the knowledge he was committing a very large sin by finding pleasure in your lust.

But the pleasure was prominent and overwhelming him to the point he couldn’t think straight.

He understood what sex was and his father had taught him about boyish lust, the kind that wakes you up from your sleep needing to change into a new pair of pajamas but he’d been warned from an early age to simply ignore the occurring urge.

He could still hear his mothers shrieks and cries when she caught him with a pillow between his legs in high school, could feel the welts on the back of his hands from the ruler his father had punished him with. Jake sometimes wondered if other people experienced this urge, this call to sin, as much as he did or if he was rotten inside.

But for the first time in his entire life, Jake couldn’t find it in himself to think about the consequences to falling victim to it. Not when you were touching him in ways not even his dreams could think to imagine.

When he didn’t answer you’d taken him back in your mouth, slightly impressed by how thick he was. He bucked forward his hips instinctively, pushing himself deeper into your mouth and you pinched his thigh roughly in warning.

You heard him cry out in a sob, his hands gripping the blankets so hard they were turning white and shaking at an almost alarming rate.

“Please.” He was begging and you weren’t sure he even knew what for, his voice coming out desperate and needy. “Please i-it feels really weird.”

You hummed around his cock in understanding, your hand petting his thigh and pushing his shirt up on his stomach so you could feel more of him. He didn’t even seem to register you touching him, the sounds of his soft cries and pleads distracting you slightly.

You tapped his hip bone a few times and he seemed to somehow understand the message, pushing his cock deeper into your mouth at a slower pace this time. You let him do what he wanted despite the urge to take control of the situation, knowing there wasn’t any chance he was lasting more than 30 seconds anyways.

He was slightly surprising you already, truthfully you’d expected him to cum before you even got his boxers off his thighs.

You imagined his inner monologue was causing him some issue as you listened to him cry softly from pleasure, little overwhelmed gasps and hiccups as one of his hands grabbed onto the one you were running across his stomach and squeezed it tightly.

“You need to just let it go baby.” You were whispering to him as you pulled off for a second when his hips started to twitch awkwardly, overwhelmed and not understanding what the feeling building up deep in his gut was. “Don’t worry about making a mess.”

The second you took him back in your lips he was following your instructions with a loud moan, completely forgetting you were meant to keep quiet as he came inside your warm mouth.

You winced slightly at the unexpectedness of it, leaning backwards on your knees as you waited for his hips to stop jerking forward.

He was shaking his head at you, eyes teary and his face red as he squinted his eyes in confusion. “What w-was -“

“You came.” You said matter of factly, standing up with a groan from your uncomfortable kneeling position and sitting next to him on the bed again. He leaned sideways into you, much to your surprise, and you resisted the urge to push him off you.

“Was I supposed to?” He whispered in embarrassment and pushed his face into your neck again. You were slightly uncomfortable at his clinginess but you let him do it, knowing he must be feeling a lot.

“Yes Jake. Maybe not all over my face though.” You were trying to joke with him to lighten the atmosphere but you sighed as you heard him let out a little cry into your neck, clearly upset and humiliated.

He was mumbling against your skin, repeated mantras that you couldn’t quite understood through his sobs but had a good guess in what they contained. You imagined reality was coming back to him now and he was processing what he’d just done without the hazy cloud of need cursing his judgement.

“Jake, you need to stop crying.” You were sighing and bringing your hand up to his hair, petting it softly to try to calm him down.

“Did I do a bad thing?” He pulled off your neck to look you in the eyes, his wide and desperate like he was fishing for any bit of reassurance that what you’d just done was okay, that he hadn’t just committed a sin so unholy. You could tell by his expression he was asking just to hear it reaffirmed, for you to tell him again it was just skin.

“My poor baby.” You were cooing at him, lips jutted out in a pout as your hands came up to hold his face, cupping it softly and wiping his teary cheeks with your thumbs. “Of course you did a bad thing.”

He froze completely in your hold and you felt a laugh bubble into your throat, holding it down with all your might so you could get the full extent of his reaction. He sat up slightly, attempting to pull out of your hands before realizing you were holding his face too tight. He gave you a confused and hurt look.

“What?” He was stammering out and his face was curling back into another sob.

“How could you let me do that?” You were tsking at him as you spoke, eyebrows furrowed like he had genuinely offended you. He watched you as panic settled into his eyes at the sound of you kissing your teeth and shaking your head softly. “We were supposed to be studying.”

“B-but.” He was shaking his head and holding onto your wrist, eyes filling with tears. “But you said that..”

He trailed off and you watched him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to pass the blame off onto you. Of course he didn’t, his expression hardening although you knew he hadn’t quite realized your motive. He was too innocent to believe you’d deceive him, too stupid to understand every action you did was a carefully crafted lie.

“Maybe it’s time you go Jakey.” You were nodding as you spoke, petting his hair and pushing it back out of his eyes.

He didn’t say anything else, his expression dazed out as he came out of such a vulnerable compliant headspace with a jolt. You watched him in silence as he gathered himself enough to get dressed awkwardly and walk out of your room, loose and tilting like he had just woken up.

You waited for him to be completely out of sight, the sound of the front door closing, before falling back on your bed with a big smile.

——

You’d fallen asleep soon after that without much thought on the situation, feeling only a deep satisfaction at the progress you’d made with Jake and a slight tinge of excitement for the next time you got to see him.

By the time you’d woken up, your mother was already in your room and standing staring down at you. You barely reacted to her presence although you were slightly unnerved and curious just how long she’d been watching you sleep.

“Can I help you?” Your voice was groggy as you sat up and pushed your bedridden hair out of your face.

Any other mother might have found your tired movements cute, maybe they’d give you an endeared smile and reminisce on when you were a baby waking up from naps.

However you were born with a very specific type of mother, maybe one of her kind. She was watching you with a nasty scowl, a knowing look in her eye as she did a slow pan around your room. “Your father said the boy was here yesterday.”

You hummed in agreement, tilting your head softly to try and get a further reaction from her.

“His mother called and said he won’t be at church this morning.” She spat the words at you, accusatory and nasty. “He’s sick.”

You could tell by the way she said that she knew it was a lie, wether Jake was the one telling it or his mother. At first you were slightly shocked he’d lie about being sick but you figured he might just be feeling so, driven by the extreme emotions he’d been feeling.

“What a shame. He seemed more than fine yesterday.” You put in a pity filled voice, shaking your head as you let the innuendo sink in for her, watching the way her face curled with disgust.

“Almost ready?” You father was suddenly in your doorway, observing the scene with a raised eyebrow as he buttoned the cuff of his sleeve.

“Father, would it be okay if I stopped by the Sim’s before heading to service? I’d like to bring Jake some soup for his cold.” Your voice was dripping with sweetness and you vaguely saw your mothers jaw tick with irritation.

“I can do it.” She was rushing to say.

Your father shook his head immediately and held a hand up to silence the both of you from speaking again. He finished buttoning his sleeve and cleared his throat before speaking. “You agreed to meet with the Lee’s today Mary. I think it’d be a good idea for Y/N to go, since they’re friends.”

You smiled appreciatively at him and he gave you a small nod before leaving the room. You glanced at your mother to see her stony expression but surprisingly she didn’t say anything, simply shaking her head in disapproval and following behind him.

It was strange to not leave for church with them, to stand in the window with the curtain pulled back as you smiled and waved watching the car drive off.

You dropped the grin the second they turned the street corner and hurried out the door to get on your bike and head over to the Sim’s house.

You hadn’t been there before despite your father pointing it out on your way home yesterday but it looked pretty much the exact same as the other houses in the neighborhood. It was large and eerie, the rainy atmosphere not helping it.

The door was opening before you could even dismount your bike let alone knock and you saw Jake’s mom standing in the archway with a small frown.

“What are you doing here?” Her tone was harsh and for a second you wondered if he had told her about what happened, confessed his sins in a fit of guilt.

You were so thrown off that you didn’t immediately respond, suddenly aware of the fact you didn’t bring any sort of soup or medicine like you had originally planned, too eager to get out the door to remember your cover story.

Lucky for you, Jake’s father was coming into sight now and a small grunt from him sent the rude woman cowering away.

You observed this with a curious expression and tried not to frown. Maybe Jake wasn’t as innocent and pure as he seemed considering he apparently had some familial issues, obvious in the way his mother showed a fearful obedience to the large man in front of you.

“You here for my boy?” His voice was low and gruff and it was a bit remarkable how different Jake was than his father.

You opted for a small nod, only slightly playing a part considering he actually did a good job at intimidating you. He let out a hum of approval and stepped aside so you could enter the house, not asking anymore questions.

“It’s good you two get along.” You were taking in the main living space as you entered, his voice picking up a conversational tone that sounded slightly unnatural. “I was beginning to think he’d never talk to someone his own age, let alone a girl.”

He had a typical mannish tone, one you’d heard in movies or from the gross men who sat outside the town bar in a drunken haze as they catcalled and talked at a volume far too loud for your small town. It lacked the usual religious hold you were more used to, he almost sounded pleased at the idea of his son being with a girl.

You glanced at him and held his stare. You wondered for a second if he was testing you now, waiting for you to reveal any sinful intentions you had so he could run back to your father and earn some brownie points for catching your sickness in the act.

He raised an eyebrow at you as you cocked your head, willing him to talk further and continue in his attempt at baiting you.

“Upstairs on the right.” He eventually said, your stare unrelenting. You unfroze your stony expression and gave him a small smile, knowing you probably looked crazy with how fast your face changed.

You were walking away from him before he could say anything else or before Jake’s mother could return, skipping a step at a time in your haste to get upstairs.

Without knocking, you pushed open his door and barged in.

He was sat up in bed, lower half under the covers, and he let out a small shriek of surprise at your sudden intrusion, furthered by a quick inhale when he realized who it was that had just walked in.

“W-what are you doing here?” He was rushing out as he watched you close the door behind you and sit down on the end of his bed.

“I came to check on you.” You said it like it was obvious, a soft shrug of your shoulders. “Since you’re sick.”

His mouth parted in confusion for a second before he seemingly remembered he was meant to be ill, looking awkward and guilty at the reminder he had lied.

You didn’t address his obvious reaction, telling you what you already assumed, and instead climbed up further on his bed. He made a strange noise when you got closer to him, pulling back the blankets and getting underneath them with him. You briefly caught sight of his plaid pajama pants before you covered the both of you up.

“M-my parents.” He was shaking his head and anxiously looking at the door like he was waiting for his mom to walk in any second. You watched his distress, wondering if he was possibly hoping for that to happen, before you heard the sound of the front door slamming.

A look of fear passed over his face at the realization his parents had just left him alone with you. You were a bit surprised yourself but you kept your face neutral, watching him to drink up his reaction.

“I came all this way and you can’t even say thank you.” You tsked and relaxed against his pillows with an annoyed expression. “Especially after what you did yesterday.”

He looked upset at the reminder and he was sitting up more now, the blanket pulling forward around his thighs and he practically kneeled and titled forward in your direction. He wasn’t touching you but his hands were clasped together as he practically did a full bow on his bed.

“I’m so sorry.” He started to say the words but his voice broke around them and he rocked slightly back and forth. You almost laughed at the fact he was already about to cry and it’d only been about five minutes alone with you. “Thank you for coming.”

You imagined he’d been doing a lot of crying since you saw him last, staying up all night running your words on loop in his mind. The sincerity in your voice when you told him he committed a disgusting sin.

“Get back under the covers.” You spoke in a calm voice and he picked his head up to look at you in confusion, face red and eyes teary. He looked surprised you weren’t scolding him, having seemingly forgotten you were the one who practically forced him to let you touch him.

He stayed frozen like that for a few seconds before snapping back to reality and nodding appreciatively, getting back under the blankets and pulling them up again so you were covered. He seemed to only now realize you were laying back against the pillows and he mirrored you, laying on his side so he could face you.

“I won’t tell anybody what you did.” You whispered to him now that his attention was fully on you. Your hand came up to hold his face and he tensed for a second at the contact. “Or maybe I will… I haven’t decided.”

He shook his head hastily, scooting closer to your body and grabbing ahold of your hand that was on his face, wrapping both of his around your wrist and squeezing it softly in desperation.

“Y-you can’t.” He urged and you felt his hands shaking around yours. “I mean you can b-but I’m really so sorry and my dad, he’d kill me.”

You shushed him as he started to ramble, petting his cheek and frowning deeply at what he had said. You figured Jake’s dad hurt his mother but you hadn’t considered it extending to his child as well. A strange surge of anger ran through you despite your own twisted intentions.

Scooting down a bit more so you were completely laid down, you put a hand on his back and pulled him towards you until he got the hint and curled into your side with a soft cry. He was stuffing his face back into your neck like he did yesterday and you rubbed his back softly.

You vaguely acknowledged the fact he was completely pressed against your side now, almost laying half on top of you in his emotional state.

“I won’t tell.” You whispered, his soft and messy hair tickling your face as you spoke. In his desperation for comfort he seemed to forget about not touching you, his arm coming up to wrap around your stomach, tugging you closer in a rush of thankfulness and your eyebrows raised in surprise. “But only if you answer my questions.”

He nodded immediately and picked his head up off your neck so he could look at you more clearly. He looked particularly cute like this you decided, his hair unstyled and still sticking up from where he’d slept on it and his soft pajamas that were rubbing against your legs.

“Did you touch yourself last night.” You held his chin as you spoke so he was looking up at you, his head almost resting against your chest as he peered with big wet eyes.

He was shaking his head as much as he could and furrowing his eyebrows like he did the last time you asked him. “I don’t- I wouldn’t. I don’t know how even.”

This fascinated you slightly. You figured he didn’t understand masturbating or its purpose outside of it being sinful but the fact he’d never once curiously touched himself was interesting. You wondered how many nights he laid in bed crying with confusion at the dull ache between his legs.

“Did you like being in my mouth?” Your voice dropped lower for the second question and an automatic whine slipped out from his lips, his face immediately flushing with embarrassment as he seemed to replay the memory.

He was nodding hesitantly much to your annoyance, you wanted to hear him say it but you figured you could take it easy on him today.

Maybe easy wasn’t the best way to describe your current plan for him considering the way you were suddenly pressing your thigh in between his legs, smiling at him when he groaned loudly and tightened his grip on you.

Your side burned slightly from the force in which he curled his hands up at the sudden contact.

“You’re hard.” You said matter of factly, telling the truth and not just teasing him. He was solid against your thigh now and you heard him whimper when you shifted slightly so his tight grip on you was more comfortable. “I barely said anything and you’re hard.”

He shook his head in disagreement but his hips twitched forward, rubbing his erection against you and making a low drawn out sound at the feeling.

“Did I say you could do that?” Your tone was harsh again and he immediately froze, groaning softly and tucking his head forward onto your chest. You let your hand go back to this hair, petting him for a second before gripping it tightly and tugging his head back up to look at you.

He winced at the pain, face contorted as he tried to scoot away from you. However he still didn’t remove his arm from around your stomach so he wasn’t able to go far, his hand still kneading against your side like he didn’t realize he was even moving it.

“Ask me.” You instructed him, still holding his hair in a tight fist. “Clear words, no crying bullshit.”

He looked momentarily taken back by you swearing and being so harsh but then he had a look of guilt like he was remembering the other day and he was attempting to nod in head in agreement.

“Please I want… I want you to touch me.” He settled on, not sure how to word what he needed. You smiled softly at him for his attempt but you weren’t convinced, deciding on helping him ask you properly.

“Tell me you’re disgusting.” You whispered, leaning your face forward so your nose was touching his again, like it did momentarily yesterday. “Say you want to hump my leg like a dog.”

He looked confused and overwhelmed at your words, shaking his head in refusal until you moved your leg again. It rubbed against him and you almost laughed at the fact he was almost harder now even after your tone changed. His hips chased the feeling and you tugged his hair again in warning, listening to his soft groan of frustration.

“I want..” He hiccuped softly and shook his head, trying to force the strange words from his mouth. “I want to hump your leg please please.”

You let go of his hair and his head fell back down onto your chest. He hadn’t completely fulfilled your request but it was good enough for now.

“Alright baby.” You didn’t need to say anything else for him to understand, immediately pulling you closer again and rocking against your side.

You listened to his soft little whines as he humped against you desperately, moving in messy motions as he tried to chase after the feeling he recognized from yesterday.

The feeling of his hand gripping your side was making your head spin a bit much to your irritation and you gripped it tightly, moving it off your waist. He seemed to misunderstand and instead placed it directly over your belly button where your sweater had ridden up, pushing down softly as he rubbed the soft skin of your stomach.

You let out a small groan and this seemed to ignite something in him because he let out a little cry and nuzzled further into you as he dragged his clothed cock over your hip harder.

“Tell me it feels good.” You instructed him and you felt more annoyance at the fact your voice came out breathy, not liking the effect he was having on you.

“S-so good.” He immediately responded and you felt his leg wrap around yours, trying to get closer to you despite it being impossible. “Going to die it’s good, it’s good.”

You laughed softly at his dramatic wording and pet his hair again, trying to get his attention. He slowed down the grinding of his hips to look at you and you nearly cooed at his hooded wet eyes, trying to focus on your face but struggling.

You were originally planning on teasing him some more, attempting to get him to repeat the words you wanted to hear earlier, but at the sight of his pretty overwhelmed face you couldn’t help yourself from leaning in and kissing him softly.

He yelped at the feeling, tensing up for a few seconds before closing his eyes and trying to kiss you back, failing miserably.

You laughed against his lips and you could feel him frowning, face getting red with embarrassment as he uncomfortably shifted against you.

“Come here.” You tapped his back softly and nudged him so he was fully on top of you, squishing you under him but making it so you could reach his mouth better. “Rub your cock on me while we kiss.”

He whined softly, nodding his head despite the flush on his face and you waited while he slowly experimented with the new position, practically in missionary now. When he started to move his hips again, his hard cock was now rubbing directly against your core and he faltered at the feeling, nearly collapsing on top of you.

You smiled at his reaction. You had full doubt that he knew what sex was or the fact he was basically imitating it but you imagine he could get the gist that what you were doing was wrong.

You leaned your head forward to kiss him again, easier now that he was on top of you and seemingly more eager to get it right this time. He was still sloppy, not really understanding how to move his mouth or when but you took over, moving your lips against his slowly.

He seemed to get the hang of it eventually and you could feel his thrust getting more desperate as the kiss got deeper and faster.

Your tongue was in his mouth before he even realized and he made a small startled sound, hips stopping against yours at the new feeling. He was letting out high pitched whines and moans as you licked into his mouth, him drooling slightly and desperately trying to keep your tongue where it was.

You could feel him sucking on it, twisting his head to try to get it deeper in his mouth and he instinctively gave a particularly hard thrust, causing you to moan into him.

This seemed to startle him, pulling back off your face with a wet chin and hooded eyes, looking down at you in amazement.

He did it again experimentally and you could feel the hard print of his cock directly against you, your back arching as your hand came up to grip his hair and stop him from doing it again. You were reminding yourself this wasn’t about your pleasure, you wanted to ruin him and nothing else.

But you couldn’t deny your attraction to him, almost the perfect boy for you if there was to ever be one.

It didn’t help he happened to have an impressive size on him, although you doubted he even realized he was bigger than usual or would know what to do if given that information.

You wrapped a leg around his side and he sucked in a breath, having better access now. He kept rolling his hips sloppily into you and moaning loudly, forgetting who he was or where he was currently at.

“What would mommy think if she saw you like this?” You took it upon yourself to remind him, whispering into his mouth with a pant and almost laughing at the way he immediately tensed and stopped humping against you. “If she walked it to see her son so desperate to sin.”

He was shaking his head and lifting it slightly to be able to look at you better, eyes welling up with tears as he glanced back over his shoulder at the closed door. You hadn’t been there long and you imagined church still had a few hours before it’d be over and they’d be heading back but he seemed to forget all this at the mention of his parents.

“I’m not.” His hair was messy in his face, bangs slightly damp from sweating and his previous tears. “I don’t want to sin, I don’t want to be bad. Please.”

You hummed softly at him, lips forming a mocking pout as you looked at him with gentle eyes. You stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning against your hand like a puppy.

“My poor baby.” You cooed and kissed him again briefly, he immediately chased after it when you pulled away and you tapped your finger on his cheek to stop him. “You have no idea what I’m going to do to you.”

He seemed confused at what you meant but too drunk on the feeling of your touch and lips, chasing after them again in a messy kiss that was mostly just him trying to get his tongue back against yours.

You indulged him and let him lick into it, letting out soft desperate moans and you were suddenly realizing how much you were aching for him despite managing to keep a cool demeanor on the outside.

You shifted your leg that was wrapped around his middle and he seemed to remember that he was currently on top of you and he went back to writhing against your body, his hard on rubbing against you an almost painful amount now that you were granting him more access with the switched position.

He wasn’t able to hold himself up, curling up on your chest while he moved his lower body with sobs of pain and need.

“God, I thought it’d take longer to break you.” You were trying to make fun of him but your voice broke in a moan at the feeling of him pushing himself against your sensitive clit. “You’re so fucking nasty, look at yourself.”

He was shaking his head and crying fully now, chasing after a high he didn’t even understand and you were almost feeling dizzy from the pace he was going.

“I’m good.” He was blabbering out and looking at you again, trying to lean forward for a kiss but letting out a sharp cry midway and falling back down with his head on your chest.

“You’re a good boy Jake.” You cooed at him, nodding even though he couldn’t see you and he felt sick at the constant changing of your tones. “My good boy right?”

He was suddenly sitting up again, pulling himself against you so he could look at you directly in the eye, if he could see through his tears. He was nodding his head in earnest and you felt your lip quirk up in a smile.

“I’m yours. I want to be yours.” He was rushing out, hands leaving your stomach to balance on either side of you. His tone was pleading and you wondered if he even knew what he was asking for or if he was just repeating what you’d said dumbly.

You kissed him softly and he let out a shaky breath of relief against your lips. However he started to frown when you were suddenly pushing him off of you and patting the empty space on the bed right beside where you were laying. He looked confused and hurt but he didn’t ask any questions, simply rolling over and waiting to see what you were attempting to do.

You watched him for a few seconds, taking in the change of appearance in such a short amount of time.

He was laid back fully on the bed, eyes hooded and cloudy. His mouth was parted slightly as he panted, his chest rising and falling at a fast speed as his arm reached up to try and push his messy hair out of his face. You liked the way he looked like this, especially the way his shirt was ridden up on his stomach, a sliver of skin showing.

He started making small impatient whines and groans so you took mercy on him, flipping yourself over slightly so you could situate yourself on his lap.

You sucked in a breath the second you did, quickly shutting your lips tight after so he didn’t catch sight of the display of pleasure. He was hard underneath and pressed tightly against your core as you sat on him.

“Oh my god.” He was crying out and his hands jutted forward like he was going to grab your sides, stopping midway and flailing around as he didn’t know what he was meant to do with them.

“Touch me.” You spat at him, reaching down to grab his wrist and put his hands on your ass as you leaned forward so you were in a similar position to his a few minutes ago, laying on top of him.

He froze as he touched you and you almost scolded him for acting so prudish with touching you like he wasn’t just trying to fuck you through his cute little pajamas. However you figured it was harder for him to deliberately do something versus acting purely on the overwhelming lust he was feeling.

You gripped his jaw harshly in your hand, your nails digging into his skin slightly as you used your thumb to pull his mouth open and hummed with satisfaction.

“Say you want me inside you.” You whispered, leaning down to talk into his open mouth. You watched his eyes widen in confusion but you rubbed your hips against him as motivation and he immediately complied.

“Want you inside me.” He moaned out, big fat tears sliding down his face. “Y/N please I need it please.”

He didn’t even know what he was asking for but he was overwhelmed and sinking back down into that fuzzy headspace, willing to do anything to get pleasure from you.

You kept his mouth open after he was done speaking and he opened it wider for you, although not understanding where you were heading with this action. He watched with wide confused eyes as you leaned over him and slowly spit into his open mouth.

He cried out, hips bucking up instinctively at the sensation of your spit on his tongue so directly and you almost fell forward from the roughness in which he fucked himself up into you. You smacked his cheek lightly and he snapped his mouth shut with another moan, eyes shut in euphoria.

You hummed at him in approval, leaning back down to kiss him again and lick into his mouth, letting him turn his head sideways in an attempt to get your tongue as deep as possible. You wondered if he was purposely imitating the blowjob you’d given him or if he was just that desperate to be consumed.

“I’m going to take you to hell with me.” You whispered, pulling out of the kiss and petting his hair softly. He shook his head and let out a small sob, this time not from pleasure.

“Do you want to cum?” You didn’t address his denial or tease him further for now, knowing now you had him completely hooked. He was addicted to you and the feelings you gave him and no mean words would be able to keep him away from you.

He seemed hesitant in his nod, now once again thinking about the sins he was committing and the fact he was skipping church to touch a girl inappropriately. But he did eventually nod his head, eyes still watering.

“Then fuck me baby.” You rolled back over as you spoke, flopping onto your back and rubbing his chest through his shirt, slightly surprised by the thick build he had. He was immediately on top of you again and you almost laughed at his haste.

You didn’t mean it literally and you didn’t fear him taking it as such considering he didn’t even know what it meant, he just knew you were cursing and being dirty.

You wondered if he even knew what you had inside your pants, scrapping that idea for another time instead so you didn’t get yourself too worked up thinking about how much it would ruin him to feel you.

He didn’t last long once he was back on top of you, only a few seconds passed before he was letting out a loud cry and hiccuping, his hips jutting against you a few more times in aftershock before he was collapsing on top of you.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He was sobbing into your neck and you wrapped your arms around his back, rubbing it slowly with an eye roll. “I’m sorry, God please forgive me.”

——

Jake had fallen asleep on top of you shortly after that, exhausted from everything you’d been putting him through both mentally and physically.

You let him lay there on top of you surprisingly despite how uncomfortable it was and how much you kept readying yourself to shove him off of you and leave him without any comfort, you simply couldn’t.

You weren’t quite sure why, it wasn’t like being mean to him was going to ruin your plan and make him not want to talk to you anymore. He was trapped now with you.

Yet you found yourself staying and not only staying but watching him as he slept. He looked younger like this, despite always being very puppy like and boyish you couldn’t deny that Jake was a man and he could be an intimidating one if it wasn’t for his personality. His eyelashes were long and fluttering like he was having a vigorous dream and his back would rise and fall with every deep inhale he took.

By the time he woke up you’d been laying there for probably an hour or two staring at him or looking around his room with curiosity, you felt him shifting against you and almost pretended you were asleep before deciding against it.

He froze his movements when he realized where he was exactly, or at least who it was underneath him. Then he was rolling off of you onto his back with a groan and you were suddenly feeling very cold without his weight and body warmth.

“Did my parents come home?” His voice was low and groggy from sleep and crying and you turned your head to look at him now that you were laying side by side.

“Are you kidding? Like your mother isn’t going to run in here the first second the car parks and hose you down.”

He laughed softly at your words, almost a scoff and your lip quirked up in a smile at his casual reaction, knowing his guard must be down since he was still so tired.

“She wouldn’t do that.” He eventually whispered and you could feel his shoulder pressing against yours. “At least the hose part.”

“Is she as bad as mine?” You weren’t sure what prompted you to ask him something so personal or why you were even making conversation with him in the first place but you were suddenly curious.

“Not sure.” He was looking at you, you could feel it on the side of your head. “My dad is though.”

You hummed as a response, already figuring that from the times you’d interacted with him and the way Jake talked about him earlier. You felt a sudden wave of discomfort at your current situation and fidgeted in your spot on the bed.

“Are you going to leave?” His voice was a whisper still and he wasn’t looking at you anymore from what you could tell. He sounded slightly upset like the thought of you leaving wasn’t pleasant.

“You wanted me to earlier.” You scoffed softly but it was humorless, for some reason feeling offended at the reminder despite knowingly doing everything in your power to make him uncomfortable for your own satisfaction.

He didn’t say anything for a while and you listened to him breathing softly, wondering if he caught on to the hint of insecurity you were accidentally showcasing.

“Well… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He eventually said and you barely heard him considering how low his voice had gotten.

“See you tomorrow Jake.”

——

Tuesday’s were another day that your schedule was slightly shifted after church service. You had always been instructed to some form of community service on that day of the week, wether is be picking up trash or teaching a small class to the elders and children.

You didn’t mind this despite your distaste for religion. You got some sick satisfaction from watching religious people interact, like babies excitedly chatting about fairy tails and wishing for a big grand gesture to fix their own shitty lives.

Plus it got you out of your house and kept you slightly on the good side of your mother typically although you doubt with your recent actions you’d ever be on that side of the fence again.

So it was particularly annoying when you were tasked to clean the church basement, an area usually unseen by anybody in the town including yourself.

It was a mess of overfilled shelves and baskets stacked to the brim with old holiday decorations or donations from past families that were never put to use.

You’d been hesitant to agree, having to try ten times harder than usual to apply your usual fake smile towards your father when you graciously nodded and accepted the task. Luckily a handful of other volunteers had also followed you down the creaky stairs, one of them being Jake.

Not on his own volition considering the way his eyes bulged out of his head when his father roughly nudged him as you stood at the center of the stage requesting helping hands. He hesitantly held his in the air and avoided making eye contact with you as you smiled happily.

The same smile you held now as you stood side by side with him, taking things off the shelves and throwing them into a trash pile. He looked more anxious than usual, like he was genuinely worried you’d try to do something to him while people were watching.

“Miss Y/N?” One of the older women who had volunteered was approaching the two of you, holding a small basket of, what looked like, old arts and crafts. “I found this and was wondering if you thought your father might want to hang them up in the youth study room?”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea ma’am.” You were smiling widely at her, eyes soft and full of light. “You should bring them up to him.”

She was smiling appreciatively at you before turning and heading back up the stairs, missing the way your smile immediately dropped back into a blank expression.

Jake however, didn’t miss it and you heard him scoff from next to you as he observed the interaction. You glanced at him with a raised eyebrow and he shrugged.

“Don’t you get tired of doing that all the time?” He questioned and you faltered slightly. You hadn’t ever really considered it as something you were doing necessarily so his statement threw you off.

“I don’t know… I do it with everybody. I just do it.” You shrugged and awkwardly looked away from him, feeling confronted.

“You don’t do it with me.” He suddenly declared and you were reminded that you didn’t actually know Jake or his personality that well, completely caught off guard by his bluntness.

“Maybe because I knew you were just as bad as me.” You dropped your voice into a small whisper, leaning closer to him slightly as he glanced around to see which volunteers were over in your side of the basement.

He picked up an old toy and tossed it off in the distance, shaking his head in denial. “That’s not true at all.”

“Why isn’t it?” You cocked your head at him and stopped rummaging through the shelf, more interested in what he was saying. You turned your body so you were facing him and could lean against the wood.

“I believe in this.” He looked around the room as if to emphasize what he was referring to. “I love god.”

“Do you? Or have you just been told to?” You were already sure of the answer but you were curious what he would say about that, if he’s ever sat and thought that over or if his faith was really that unwavering.

“I never questioned it before.” He confirmed with a stern voice, sending you a sharp look so you would understand he was serious. “Not once in my life until we moved here. Not once until..”

He trailed off but the implication was heavy and he looked away with a bright flush on his face. He was obviously referring to you and you felt a small spark of satisfaction at the fact he was implying you were the first thing to ever make him doubt, implying that he was doubting at all.

He scowled slightly when he noticed the bright smile that was on your face, one you didn’t even realize you had.

“I’m serious Y/N. If anyone ever found out I…” He didn’t finish his sentence again but you could get the gist of what he was implying, your smile dropping into a frown.

“You think I don’t know that? The stakes are way higher on my side of things incase you forgot.” Your tone was harsher now but you were taking a step closer to him, not bothering to check if anybody was watching. “But you’re mine right? Like you said?”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, turning to face you and taking a big gulp when he realized you were practically close enough to kiss now. You waited for him to say something against your claim, to tell you he had been lust drunk or he didn’t mean it.

Instead he slowly nodded, eyes shooting down awkwardly to your feet. His shy expression was one you were more familiar seeing him with and your smile returned.

“Can you come over today?” You whispered and he looked back at you with a shocked expression, clearly not expecting you to say that. “I have something to show you.”

He was nodding again, not trusting himself to speak without stuttering and you grinned, turning back to the shelf and continuing with your sorting.

——

By the time church was over and Jake got to your house, you were already sat outside on the porch in a big sweater and a scarf wrapped around your neck.

“Are we not.. going in?” He was standing at the end of your driveway, putting his bikes kickstand down and watching you with a confused expression.

“I said I had to show you something didn’t I?” He watched you as you stood from the cement slab, grabbing your own bike from off the side of your house and walking it down towards him with a half smile.

He didn’t say anything as you both got on your bikes, following behind you as you rode off the curb and down the street.

The ride was long and cold, the sky grey as you passed by old houses and empty shops that’d been abandoned as the owners aged. Jake found the town sad a bit but he was curious what you were leading him too and slightly excited that you wanted to spend time with him in a different way than normal.

Eventually you were crossing the threshold of the city limit, a big sign with chipping paint that was welcoming you in or wishing you safe travels out.

After that it wasn’t long before you were slowing to a stop, surrounded by trees and a large field. Jake watched you get off your bike with a raised eyebrow, waiting until you looked back at him with a beckoning hand.

“It’s this way.” You urged and he hopped off, pushing the bikes alongside each other until you were on the other side of the muddy field, approaching a large river. The sound of it was loud as it rushed but not loud enough to block out the noise of the highway across from it, just off in the distance.

Jake watched it as you unpacked your backpack that he didn’t even realize you’d been wearing until now, unfolding a thick blanket and laying it down on the wet grass.

“They can’t build houses over here because the river always overflows.” You started to explain, pulling out a thermos and something wrapped in paper towel as you talked. “The water levels higher than usual because all the rain we get.”

“Sometimes I wonder if they even know we are over here.” You continued with a scoff, sitting criss cross on the blanket now and looking over at Jake who was dropping his bike.

He sat down too, carefully keeping his wet and muddy shoes off of the fabric.

“Do you come here a lot?” He was muttering what felt like his first words of the day, looking around the area and seeing virtually no signs of civilization other than the highway. He wondered for a second if you had even been able to hear him over the sound of it.

“I guess. There isn’t much else to do if you haven’t noticed by now.” You were shrugging as you spoke, you stuck one of your legs out so it nudged against his.

“I’ve been pretty occupied since I’ve gotten here so I guess I didn’t.” His words made you laugh although he was being serious, only having gone from home to church to your room.

He didn’t say anything as you laughed and he still didn’t when you were suddenly moving out of your sitting position, crawling towards him on all fours until you could press yourself against him.

Every part of you was touching as you sat side by side, both facing the rushing river and trying to not focus on how cold it was outside, the sky slowly darkening now since it was around dinner time. That reminded you that you had packed sandwiches and you were leaning forward slightly to reach them, handing him one and watching him unwrap the paper towel in confusion.

His cheeks turned red when he saw what it was, glancing at you and nodding softly in appreciation before taking a bite.

“Why are we here?” He was breaking the silence the two of you had fallen into as you ate and passed the warm thermos back and forth, watching the highway and the building traffic.

“I don’t know.” You felt strangely vulnerable at this question, not really knowing yourself why you’d taken him to such a private place. “Don’t think too deeply about it.”

Your sudden change of tone made him frown and tense against you, a harshness seeping into your words as you reminded him what type of relationship you had going here.

To further prove your point that this wasn’t anything being sin and attraction, you were quickly turning your upper body so you could face him before leaning forward and pressing into a kiss. He froze completely for a few seconds, brain short circuiting at the sudden contact.

Then he was closing his eyes slowly and kissing you back, a low him of appreciation slipping through your lips and vibrating against his.

You turned your body more so you could climb over his legs, straddling him and making a small noise of surprise when his hands were immediately on your lower back, tugging you in tighter against him.

The two of you kissed like that for a while, you sitting comfortably in his lap and feeling him grow hard underneath you embarrassingly quick. He felt strong and sturdy under you but he was letting out little whines and whimpers and he kept trying to pull you in closer, almost like he was trying to merge the two of you together.

Then you were sitting up on your knees and tugging your long skirt up so it was bunched around your hips, mouth parting slightly at the feeling of the cold air nipping at your bare skin. He watched you with confusion, eyes darting around your legs so fast he felt dizzy.

You sat back down on his hard on, now only separated by his jeans and your underwear and he let out a low moan, shooting forward and ducking his head forward into your neck.

“Y/N.” He whined out and you shushed him, petting his hair and rocking your hips slowly against him, liking the way his mouth parted against your skin as he took deep shuddering breaths.

“I want you to feel me.” You were whispering into his hair and he picked his up in alarm, shaking his head and glancing down at your exposed lap.

“I- I don’t know how.” He was rushing out and you laughed softly, reaching down to grab his wrist off the blanket and pick his hand up.

You placed it against your stomach like it was the other day when he was pressing on it absentmindedly, letting him feel the smooth skin above your underwear line for a while before pushing his hand down slightly past the elastic and listening to his gasp.

You were still rocking against him but slower now, letting him feel you for the first time at his own pace and trying not to overwhelm him.

His hand was shaking fast, from the cold and nerves. You imagined he could feel his own hand pressing against his cock as he kept moving it down, trapping it between the both of you. You dipped down again when he hesitatingly stopped moving it once he was fully in your underwear and he let out a cry at the feeling of your wetness against his skin.

“W-what?” He was crying out in concern, eyes shooting up to look at yours. “Are you okay? Are you bleeding?”

“I’m wet.” You explained to him with a breathy voice despite the fact you knew he didn’t understand what that would mean or if it was good or bad. “Means I feel good, you make me feel good.”

That seemed to alarm him more than the idea of you bleeding, his hand instinctively twitching and pressing against you. You leaned down to kiss him again and he reciprocated, forgetting his hand was on you for a few seconds before you were lowering your hips again.

He wasn’t doing anything but just the feeling of his large hands cupping you was making you feel dizzy, rocking against him again despite the strange noise he let out.

“Touch me baby c’mon.” He looked up at you at the sound of your urging, eyes big and wet. He looked nervous but he hesitatingly moved his fingers, curling slightly and pressing against your clit. You let out a cry and he immediately froze, mistaking it for pain. “No Jake, it’s okay do it again.”

He didn’t look sure but he followed your instructions anyways, curling his hand up and being amazed by the way you threw your head back in a small cry.

The two of you seemed to forget about your surroundings, about the rushing lake or the freezing air that was only making the cold grass more bitter to sit in. You almost forgot who you were or the fact you were only a few minutes outside of town, practically riding Jake in a field visible to anyone who cared.

“You’re so pretty.” You remarked and he frowned at your gentle word causing you to lean forward and kiss him softly. “I want to keep you forever.”

You were too lust drunk to think about the heavy implication of your words or the fact saying them went against everything you’d previously been attempting. The whole reason you’d even started touching him today was to distract him from the fact you’d taken him to a place personal to you, to make him forget your act of kindness.

“You can keep me.” He was stuttering out in a high voice, not really sure if you meant what you were saying considering how confusing he found you, how strange this whole situation was.

Jake had accepted at some point that his life was changing now and for some reason, god had put you in his path. At first he figured you were some type of test of faith, if he could just ignore you and your evil nature then he’d be able to prove he was a good man, a holy man. But he began to wonder eventually if you were truly as terrible as he originally thought, as his mother kept remarking every time his father wasn’t in the room.

You made him cry and you occasionally would say terrible things to him. And it was no doubt you had a habit of sinning and making him sin, even when he didn’t want to.

But he thought you were kind at other times and he could tell by the way you zoned out in church during service and were nice to the young residents or helpful to the old, that you didn’t have no emotion. Maybe you were right, although you had a twisted way of teaching him about it.

You were leaning down to kiss him again and he was taking his hand out of your underwear, wiping it on his pants briefly before cupping your face in both his palms and keeping you there.

“Did I ruin you?” You were muttering against his panting mouth with a small smile, hands petting his hair affectionately.

“Almost.” He answered with a slight laugh, kissing you again.

——

By the time you and Jake had left the field, giggling together while you stuffed the wet blanket back into your backpack and jumped over mud puddles, the sun was set and gone.

You followed the streetlights home, walking the bikes side by side the entire time so the 20 minute ride turned into an hour walk.

You went a few streets without talking for a while, listening to the sounds of your tires rolling over gravel or the music nature provided from the surrounding woods just off in the distance. By the time you were crossing back into city limits and setting your sights on the abandoned buildings on the outskirts of town, your curiosity was weighing on you.

“Why did you move here anyways?” You were mumbling on accident so you weren’t sure he had heard you until he cleared his throat.

“A council member caught dad hitting mom.” He said it casually and you wondered if he was used to it or it was a practiced tone. “I guess they thought it’d look bad to punish him there so they sent us away.”

“Does he hit you too?” You weren’t sure why you asked that considering you were already pretty positive of the answer.

“Yeah sometimes.” He shrugged and tried not to fidget at the feeling of you watching him, kicking at a loose rock in the gravel road. “I think he’s mad I’m not very manly.”

“I think you’re manly.” You were frowning and furrowing your eyebrows, only deepening when you heard him let out a disbelieving scoff. “I’m serious.”

And you were. Despite Jake’s outwardly timid personality and the way he basically turned into a nervous obedient puppy everytime you got your hands on him, he was clearly a man. Both in his broad athletic build and in his day to day actions and personality. He was blunt and honest, telling you what he felt even if he thought it might anger you.

“Yeah, whatever.” He was whispering, still not trusting what you were saying and you froze in your tracks, stood directly under a streetlight. He slowed to a stop when he realized you were walking anymore and looked back at you in confusion.

“You wouldn’t have picked on me if I was manly.” He was explaining once he caught sight of your frustrated expression. “You probably wouldn’t have even noticed me.”

“You think I’m picking on you?” You ignored his second statement for now, eyes darkening at the implication of the first.

You weren’t sure why it struck a nerve within you considering he wasn’t half wrong. You had originally sought him out as a victim for you, an experiment or a game. Maybe even a way to further upset your mother, but you didn’t think he thought you were picking on him entirely.

“I don’t know what to think.” He was shaking his head and his eyes looked sad. He started to push his bike again and you rushed to catch up with him. “This is just confusing.”

“Well I’m not.” You kept your voice firm in an attempt to assure him and he didn’t say anything else, sparing you a long glance before looking back forward so he didn’t accidentally hit a pothole.

The two of you didn’t talk anymore after that, walking in a comfortable silence as you slowly got to a more familiar area for him and he realized you were slowly approaching his neighborhood. You must be planning on dropping him off before making you own way home he decided.

Those plans were quickly halted when you turned the corner of his street and saw your own parents car in his driveway, right next to the Sim’s. You both froze in place and stared in front of you in horror.

“Maybe it’s a coincidence.” He whispered and you jumped at the sudden sound of his voice, the words shaking slightly. “We can tell them we got caught up studying at the park.”

“If they’re here they already know.” You immediately stated in a flat voice, having a sick gut feeling as you looked at the two cars. The lights were on in Jake’s living room and you could vaguely make out multiple shadows walking around inside. “I don’t understand.”

“Maybe your dad heard something the other day.” He was rushing out in a hush, looking at you and your uncharacteristically frozen figure. He’d never seen you scared before and it made his skin crawl. “Or that lady in the basement.”

“No that’s not possible, I was-“ Your words faltered and you sucked in a panicked breath, trying to recall the two incidents he was talking about. You had been so caught up in your giddiness to talk to him that you hadn’t paid attention to your surroundings this morning at all, saying damning idiotic things to him in the church of all places.

His hand was coming up and brushing against your arm that was covered in goosebumps. “Go home. I’ll think of a cover for you, I’ll handle it.”

You looked at him with big eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by his presence and the fact he was willingly to lie for you so easily, willing to sin to both his parents and yours so you could be spared from punishment.

“I can’t leave you with them.” You were shaking your head in earnest and he deflated, understanding immediately there was no way of talking you out of it.

You both stood there for a few more beats, staring at each other under the street light and you briefly wondered if you’d see him again after this. You weren’t sure what your parents knew or if they were just following a strong hunch but you knew it didn’t matter. The second they suspected anything, atleast the men, you wouldn’t be allowed to see Jake anymore.

Eventually he took the first step, setting his bike down at the corner of the street and nudging for you to follow suit although you gave him a confused glance.

Following closely behind him, you tried to match his slow casual pace approaching the door and almost felt like you were going to throw up on the porch when he pushed it open without knocking, deciding to not give them any warning you were approaching.

The sight was just as dreadful as you imagined it would be, your parents sat on the Sim’s old couch while his were standing at attention and listening to whatever it was your father had been saying before your arrival.

All heads turned in your direction when you entered, half looking surprised you were together and the others showing no reaction. Your mother was immediately leaping up from the couch and approaching you with a scowl.

You felt her hand hitting your cheek before you even processed she was crossing the room, your head shooting sideways as your own palms came up to grasp your face in shock. Despite your differences, your mother had never directly struck you.

“You’re a disgrace.” She spat, literally, in your direction and you vaguely saw Jake flinch in your direction like he wanted to grab you. “No more games little girl, they finally see what I have all these years.”

One glance in your fathers direction told you she was telling the truth. He’d never been a good father but he wasn’t cruel, choosing religion over warmth and parenting. So upon seeing his cold stare you automatically knew things were too far gone.

“And you.” She was turning to sneer in Jake’s direction now and you were slightly surprised to see him square back his shoulders, jaw clenching. “How can you be so stupid?”

“Mary, please advise yourself on how you speak to my son.” Jake’s mother was piling up from the couch “I thought we agreed that your daughter is the one at fault here.”

“What?” Jake was spitting out and your eyes widened, wanting to tell him to shut up and let it run its course. “It was as much me as it was her.”

“No it wasn’t.” You were shaking your head at lightning speed, taking a step forward but rocking back again when your mother shot a glare in your direction. “It was all me.”

Jake was glaring at you but you knew he held no anger, only frustration that you were attempting to take the punishment for this. He was crazy to think you wouldn’t considering it was all your doing in the first place.

“It doesn’t matter.” Your fathers cool and calm voice was ringing out and everybody turned to look at him. “Tomorrow morning Y/N will be sent to a correctional school. I should’ve listened to your mother when she begged me to send you years ago.”

Your eyes were watering as you looked at him with pure betrayal. Despite your hatred for your town, for your longing to leave and never return you felt an overwhelming sense of panic at the thought of being sent away. You looked over at Jake to find him already watching you with the same panic in his eyes.

Then he was turning back towards your father with a shake of his head and a stony expression. “I won’t let you do that.”

Jake’s father scoffed, making his first noise of the night and you glanced over at his large frame. He was watching Jake with disgust and amusement but you saw a faint hint of a challenge in his eyes.

“And what will you do son?” He was approaching Jake with a sneer, looking down at him. Jake raised his chin to meet his stare, his hands shaking against his sides. “You can’t even protect your own mother.”

It was said in a whisper so only Jake could hear it but you were standing close enough to faintly catch it, mouth parting in shock at his blunt admission before opening further when Jake was suddenly moving faster than you could even pinpoint when he had started.

Jake was on his father before he even had a chance to prepare for it and you could hear the shrieks of the women, your own fathers grunts as he jumped off the couch to try and control the situation. You were standing on the side, hands out and trying to grip a hold of Jake’s jacket to tug him back when he glanced back at your hurriedly while his dad was disoriented.

“Go.” He mouthed the word at you and you felt your heart shatter slightly, shaking your head in denial before he gave you a firm nod and a soft smile.

You could do nothing but watch in horror as his dad took advantage of him being distracted, slamming Jake onto the ground, nearly blocking the front door. You took your chance to run before somebody realized you were going to and stopped you, sparing Jake one last look before heading out the door.

You aggressively wiped your tears as you ran down the street, sobbing as you could still hear the screams and grunts of pain from Jake coming from the door you’d left open. Your cheek was stinging still but you powered through it, letting the cold numb you as you hopped on your bike you’d abandoned under the light and started peddling so hard your thighs burned.

The wind was howling as you sped past your own neighborhood and the church, the empty buildings a blur through your teary eyes and you fell off your bike once you finally approached the field you’d been in earlier that day, landing in the mud with a cry.

You left your bike near the entrance, wobbling closer to the river with harsh sobs ripping through you, your knees and skirt dripping in mud.

For a moment you wondered if this was it. If you’d been wrong your entire life about religion and sin and this was god letting you know he was here and he was furious with you for the evil you let harvest.

If taking Jake and hurting him was all because you had done bad things and harmed the people around you. You let out a scream of frustration and looked up at the dark grey, wanting to tell him you didn’t care if he was watching and it wasn’t fair.

Instead you let yourself fall against the wet grass, curling into a ball and hugging your knees to your chest as you listened to the rushing river and the honks of traffic. You briefly remembered you were still wearing your backpack and it contained a blanket you could cover up with but you had no energy left to reach back to get it.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there crying, the sky getting darker and darker as you sat and waited.

You weren’t positive what you were even waiting for. Maybe for your parents to come searching for you so they could drag you away to some far away place or maybe the more hopeful part of you was waiting for Jake to come, to tell you he was okay.

The thought of him made you cry harder when you remembered the sounds he was making as you ran out and how furious his father looked about being struck. A man with an ego was dangerous especially when it got wounded.

Waves of guilt were rushing over you for dragging Jake into your twisted fantasies, for wanting to keep him even after you’d gotten what you wanted. For liking him despite not knowing you were capable of that until he arrived. You wished the river would fill up and swallow you inside it.

Over all the combined sounds you barely registered a few being added.

You didn’t hear the sound of the bike tires approaching, or the splashing of the mud puddles underneath hurried feet. You didn’t hear his worried pants or the desperate call of your name in the distance.

It wasn’t until he was there did you feel him, it wasn’t until he was reaching down to grab your arm.

Not until it was skin on skin.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #jake enhypen #heeseung #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #jake x reader #sunghoon enhypen #jake drabbles #jake au #jake smut #jake fluff #jake fanfic #jake sim #enhypen smut

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theyluvlyss · 4 months

Text

𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 !

and it's me getting to write henry being a simp🥴🥰. thank you for requesting, I honestly didn't think I'd get any for henry danger, so just this one has me allll /ᐠo⩊oマ !!! So ya, enjoy :).

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

《 ♡ 》 oneshot

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

being the girlfriend of swellview's resident sidekick could be tough sometimes. always covering for him, constantly worrying about his safety, forever missing him...

but, regardless, he always made sure to remind you that you are the most important thing in his life. even if he has to wake you out of a dead sleep to do it...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!girlfriend!reader x henry hart - she/her/hers pronouns! - knows henry's super-identity/works with captain man!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

during season four (and up) (vaguely) - it's mildly implied to be winter

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cursing (I think? I don't remember, but just in case lol) - yelling (in a jokey/lighthearted way tho) - henry being so boyfriend - a poison ivy knock-off gets featured in here cuz I thought it would be funny lmao - lmk if I missed anything /ᐠ~˕~マ.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

As you stocked shelves and marked down certain pricey items for the holiday's swift approach, you couldn't help but huff. Couldn't help but wonder why it was you had agreed to such a position. Hardly anyone even comes into Junk n' Stuff! Why did you have to play pretend employee for a vacant audience when you could be down in the Mancave with Charlotte and Schwoz, observing and maybe even solving crime and mysteries?

At this point, you might as well have taken real a job at a real shop or store.

But, then again... you were getting the bonus perks of higher pay, given as your boss was a literal superhero. And, because of the fact that the whole of Junk n' Stuff was a front, customers were rare. It was like being on break from three to ten, only ever selling to the occasional old person looking for a rare trinket, or a curious kid looking to resell something "vintage." Whatever the case, you were on your phone for most of the time, and were always happy to work alongside your best friend and your superhero boyfriend.

The third perk, you realized, even if you weren't exactly on the field beside him. You supposed it wasn't all bad. It's not like a lot of other girls had the guilty pleasure of saying the same.

"I work at a fake mom and pop shop that barely gets any customers, but it's okay because it's just a cover up for my boss who's actually Captain Man, and his sidekick, Kid Danger, is actually my boyfriend. My best friend Charlotte and I work to keep him safe every other day, and to top it all off, I get paid more than what my parents make in a week."

You shook your head, huffing to yourself in amusement. Not only was it a mouthful to say, but it sounded insane. Not that you'd ever actually say it to anyone but yourself in your head. But, speaking- er, thinking of...

You pulled your phone from your back pocket, taking your focus off of the box of probably stale snacks you were stacking near the front desk and onto Henry's already open contact. You scanned over your thread of texts between each other, your last message from earlier in the day still left on delivered. You didn't take this to heart, already aware of how busy his missions tended to get. And dangerous, too, hence why you had initially sent...

─────────────────────

my man😙❤️

───────────

Be careful out there today, k?

Ily💞✨️

Delivered

─────────────────────

And sure, after checking now, seeing you'd been left on delivered the whole time mildly stung. But you understood and didn't allow that to be the thing that slightly dampened your mood. Instead, you remained worried for your boyfriend, contemplating if you should send another text his way. Or maybe even call him. Just to see...

You fanned the idea away, setting your phone face down on the floor and continuing to do your "job." Anything to take your mind off of the peril Henry could be facing right now, and the last thing he needed was you distracting him. You wouldn't be needy. At least, not right now. But you'd continue to wonder what was happening, where he was, what dangers he was facing...

"Oh...! (Y/N)."

You turned at the sound of your name, smiling as Charlotte stepped out of the elevator.

"It's past ten, I thought you'd be home by now."

"Me too...!" You sighed, a dry chuckle leaving along with. "I guess I was just subconsciously hoping Ray and Henry would be back by now."

Charlotte gave her own chuckle and an understanding nod at your half-joking confession, moving closer until she was squatted beside and assisting you with the rest of your stocking.

"I wouldn't worry too much. They got this. They always do."

"I know, it's just-"

"-Besides, it's only Greenleaf. And you already know..."

You two shot each other a knowing glance, finishing her sentence at the same time together before laughing.

"...She always folds for Ray."

As you set up the last of the snacks, the two of you stood, cardboard box on your hip while Charlotte had scooped up your phone and handed it back to you.

"You're right, you're right." You admitted, tossing your head from side to side with a shrug. "Plus, I'm pretty sure her goals are relatively Mother Nature related. Can't say I blame her."

"Excatly." Charlotte agreed. "She rarely ever does any real harm, so trust me, Henry will text you back before you know it."

And with that, you two shared your final goodbyes for the evening, and your fret had subsided. Like you said, she was right, Greenleaf more of a particular "low level" classified supervillain, which meant an easy battle. If you'd even call it that. You predicted that right about now, Ray was doing his best to appeal to her charm and romance to subdue her, and though gross... it always seemed to work, so you didn't question it.

With that in mind, you finally decided to call in, clocking out for the evening and daydreaming on the walk home of a hearty dinner, a hot shower, and the warmth and cozy of your bed.

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

In the comfort of your room with your nighttime routine accomplished, you remained settled in bed with your eyes glued to your phone. Maybe not the healthiest option, but TikTok was very compelling in the late evenings. Especially when you needed a good laugh or a new song/audio to discover and add to your playlist. You scrolled endlessly, allowing the time to tick by without worry or care because tomorrow (in an hour or two) would be a stress free Saturday.

The millionth swipe upwards of your thumb brought you to your next video, a boy and a girl close in age to yourself participating in a trend that had been circling around for a little bit. It was cute, the way they both adorned wide, cheesy smiles, and their pajamas matched with each other. Even while they performed a popular dance, sticking to routine, you could sense the chemistry they had with one another through the screen. All of it ending with the boy scooping her into his arms, littering kisses across her face that she giggled at over the music.

If anyone asked, you'd be a little embarrassed to admit that you had let the video replay several times before giving it a like and then scrolling away. But, you couldn't - no - wouldn't deny the achy feeling it left you with.

Suddenly, you were no longer laughing at everything you saw and/or heard. No longer wishing to be on the app itself any longer because the ache in your chest was growing too much to bear. Too much for you to ignore, thinking about that random couple and their adorable antics.

How much it reminded you of your own boyfriend; how much you really did miss Henry. It wasn't like you didn't see each other often, practically every day. But it didn't stop you from always wishing to be near him, that he was with you. Family, school, and being a superhero did take up quite a bit of his attention, not that you doubted you were the fourth thing on his list. Selfishly, you assumed the second, at least...

But anyhow, in an attempt to rid yourself of the ache and to refrain from pestering him, you migrated from TikTok to your gallery, scrolling around until you reached a large cluster of pictures and videos from days past.

First thing, you were met with a short thread of silly pictures, Henry striking poses and making faces he'd forbid from showing to anyone, and you immediately sent them to Charlotte and Jasper agreed, for the sake of his dignity. Or just some random action shots, the complete blur of his figure due to moving too fast, which you would keep because they were still funny, after all.

But eventually, you came across a video, it automatically playing as you watched in reminiscence of your time at the mall together. You were both fresh from a Bath & Body Works, your phone's point of view shaking and aimed as though it were snooping around in your bag before pulling away and revealing your hand being held by none other than Henry himself.

"What'd ya' get me?" You chirped as though you hadn't just shown the audience already. But, it was clear you wanted to hear it from him at the time, both past/video and present you giggling at the way Henry shot a smirk your way with eyes that read, "Really?"

"What I always get you." He answered simply, looking ahead as you two walked. "The world."

"Harhar." You could be heard giving an equally sarcastic laugh before adding, "Yes, but specifically this time."

"Boba and (signature/scent)."

Again, both past/video and present you shared another laugh, and you were sure of the fact that you were admiring him shamelessly with your eyes full of love at that moment, just as you were now as the video went on.

"How come?" You pressed with glee, Henry's head shifting back towards you as he spoke.

"'Cause I love you. 'Cause you deserve it. 'Cause it feels gooood."

He laughed along with you at the way he elongated his words at the end of his sentence, a quirk he picked up from who-knows-where that always had you playfully rolling your eyes. In real time, though, the video had ended there, and you were swift to find another one, craving more of that feeling... that mock-comfort of Henry being with you when he actually wasn't.

It was the best you could do, for now, so you'd continue, snuggling deeper into your blankets and pillows while his voice kept ringing out from your phone.

"You smell really good." Was his first comment, ironically per the last video, stated while you admired yourself in selfie mode before switching to the back camera.

He was already stalking closer towards your position on his bed, in his room, before flopping down right into your lap and looking up at you like a puppy.

"And I love your eyes."

"My eyes?" You questioned, as though you were surprised, or as if he should be talking about someone else's.

"Mhm." He nodded slowly. "Your beautiful eyes and those lips of yours. You're too perfect, y'might have to get that checked out or something."

Your laugh at his joking statement caused the camera to shake, and it made you realize that in the moment, you had missed the way he continued to behold you. To cherish the rest of your features and run his hand against your lower stomach as his face flushed with red at the sound of your giggles. Laughter he caused, which made him happy, you assumed, given the way he couldn't even fight his own smile.

You wished you hadn't missed it all at the time, but were glad you were seeing it now; all of his love that then went poured into one gesture before the video ended.

He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles with a gentleness you were still currently missing, the video ending, and the silence of your room setting in.

It didn't help the ache like you thought it would, possibly even making it worse. And because of that, you thought it wise to call it a night, giving your messages one more check before making the last minute choice to send another. A final one for the evening, because at least that would bring you peace of mind.

─────────────────────

my man😙❤️

───────────

Be careful out there today, k?

Ily💞✨️

Delivered

Goodnight

I love you sm<3

❤️✨️

Delivered

─────────────────────

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

"So, uhh... you ever try Olive Garden?"

The woman, hair fiery red and a fitted suit made from the vines and plants she created (which were now being chopped away at by police in light of her villainous attempts), shot the man, Captain Man, a look of confusion and disgust. If her wrists hadn't been bound by handcuffs, she'd send another vine after him just for his obliviousness.

"No. I would never in my life..."

She didn't even have to finish her sentence, the tone implying that she wouldn't be caught dead eating from a place that required slaughtering animals and ripping plants from the ground just to serve "fine" cuisine.

"Is Olive Garden not vegan?"

Greenleaf couldn't even fathom a rebuttal to such stupidity, that fact clearly written all over her face as she was hauled away by more policemen. Ray, of course, didn't exactly catch on but jumped at Henry's shout from behind.

"Dude...!" A pause, striking out a hand to further enforce his demand. "Stop flirting with the supervillain...!"

"I'm-! . . ." Ray couldn't even deny that he was doing such a thing (granted, Greenleaf is an attractive woman), but would take advantage of his older age anyhow, pointing an index finger towards his younger partner sternly.

"Mind your business! Unlike you, Kid Danger, I have had the pleasure of time, which has allotted me the grace of perfecting my wit, savvy, and charm, I'll have you know. So-"

He was interrupted by Henry's gloved palm resting against his face, serving as a method to stop him from strolling any closer while Henry casually scrolled through his phone, his tone all the same.

"Hang on, my girlfriend just texted me."

Ray scoffed, seconds away from letting Henry know that he shouldn't be distracted on the job. That is, until he continued to go on with a flat tone, underlying bits of hilarity under it in attempts to get under Ray's skin.

"Y'know, the thing you don't have? The girl I used my natural born wit, savvy, and charm on to win over?"

"I get it!!"

Henry looked up with a smile at Ray's exclamation, innocently nodding with a swift, "Yeah." before putting his attention back to his screen.

─────────────────────

my wife❤️

Be careful out there today, k?

Ily💞✨️

9:23p.m.

Goodnight

I love you sm<3

❤️✨️

11:37p.m.

─────────────────────

What had been giddiness at first morphed into a feeling of guilt, thoughts of your saddened face sinking deep into his brain the moment he realized he had missed your texts. That you had apparently even gone to bed without hearing so much as a word from him all evening.

And sure, he knew you'd probably excuse it the next day, simply telling him that it "was fine" and that you "understood." And while that might be the case, he couldn't help but give in to the thought that you'd much rather have gotten to hear from him tonight. At the very least.

Besides, it's not like he didn't miss you, too. He missed you a lot, actually. You constantly on the brain every single time he fought and/or solved any crime, because if there was one person he'd guarantee the safety of while being in Swellview, it was you. But, along with your safety, he also wanted to make things up to you. He wanted your happiness. And he knew he was one of the sole people who could provide that, therefore...

"Alright, I gotta' get outta' here."

"What?" Captain Man blinked rapidly, unexpecting of Henry's sudden announcement of departure. "No-! No, we have to clean up this mess. Look at all of these vines!"

"Yep, it's...quite the jungle." Henry admitted lacklusterly, nodding to himself before throwing a thumb over his shoulder and slowly backing away. "But, uh, it's Friday, and..."

"Exactly! Friday night, no school, which leaves you plenty of time to help me out. You're on clean-up duty tonight, bud!"

Henry, again, nodded along with Ray's words. He continued to take his giant steps away from the scene, talking fast and only thinking about you in the process, hence why his logic came out a little more than flawed...

"Right, except no, because last I checked, the saying goes, "Blow bubbles fight crime, feels good." Not, "Blow bubbles, fight crime, clean up a mess that's not mine." And, I gotta be honest, that would not feel very good. It would actually feel baaaad, which is exactly how you-know-who is probably feeling right about now..."

"Don't even say her name, kid."

A pause lingered in the air before Henry disobeyed direct instruction.

"I gotta go see (Y/N)."

And he was gone before the conversation could continue, Ray left on his own to help the police with deforesting the city's town hall. And, as much as it behooved him to do so, he couldn't help but admit to himself that if he was still Henry's age with a girl like you, he'd probably do the same.

He huffed, giving his sidekick the benefit of the doubt for tonight.

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

Tossing and turning slowly as you woke, you hadn't yet processed what it was that had actually brought you from your slumber until you were fully sitting up in bed, finally able to recognize the sound as a gentle knock.

This then alarmed you, your head whipping around your surroundings in a flurry in an attempt to pinpoint the sound that had spiked up your heart rate in the dead of night. But, once you had managed to place the noise coming from your window, your fear settled into more of a light curiosity and confusion. It brought you from your bed, your feet now met with the cold air around you as you crept forward towards your window.

Steadily pulling back your curtains, your caution slowly turned into joy and surprise, a smile spreading across your face that matched the one on your boyfriend's own face behind the glass.

"Henry...!" You whisper-shouted, his name muffled as he watched you move to unlock your window. He was grateful that you were quick with this action, no longer having to mildly shiver outside while you pulled him through and onto your bedroom floor, admiring his figure in the dimness of your room.

"It's so late, what're you doing here?"

Your question escaped in the midst of a yawn, rubbing the sleep from your eyes while his own darted back to where the clock sat on your nightstand.

12:54a.m.

"I know, I'm sorry, (N/N). I didn't mean to wake you." He apologized, using a nickname that brought another smile to your face once the yawn had passed.

"I just...didn't want you to think I was ignoring you, y'know? I would've answered your texts sooner, I was just-"

"-I know." You cut in with a nod. "I understand, it's okay."

He laughed quietly to himself, all too correct about your compassion when it came to him that he sometimes felt he didn't fully deserve. Like now, keeping his hands hidden behind his back with something that'd hopefully make up for it all.

"It's not, though. I wanna be fair to you with my time. Want you to know that I care about you and that I'll be there for you, whether I'm Kid Danger or just Henry Hart."

"Woah, hey, you're not... just Henry Hart." You corrected, coming closer and placing a tired hand on his shoulder. It was only here that you realized he wore nothing but a white t-shirt, the rest of his super-apparel tied around his waist, red cargo pants and combat boots still intact. Pretty on point symbolism for the moment, if anyone asked you...

"You... are Henry Hart. You're my boyfriend with a lot on your plate, and I know that it's just not fair of me to expect all of your time, which is why I don't. But no matter what, I do love you for giving me whatever you can, so it's very much okay."

You didn't have to be able to see his face clearly to know he was probably just as red as he was in your videos from earlier, his bashful smile going hidden when he let his head drop for just a moment.

"I love you, too." A pause before he quickly debunked your reassurance with some of his own. "And it's not okay, which is why I got you these..."

And suddenly, you realized why he had kept his hands hidden behind him like some wise old man, revealing to you a bouquet of flowers of all kinds. An almost randomized assortment that'd be pretty hard to find in any flower shop. At any shop at all, given...

"Oh my gosh, they're so pretty! It's like, midnight, though, where did you get these?" You squealed quietly, doing your best not to wake up any family in the house while you took the flowers into your hands and admired them the best you could under the moon's light.

"Uhh..."

Henry really didn't know how to answer that, scratching the back of his neck in remembrance of his horrid sneak attempt through his neighbor's backyard.

"I stole 'em." Was what came out way too nonchalantly, leaving you to choke on air while your eyes widened.

"What...?! Henry-!"

"I'm kidding, I didn't steal-... Well... I mean, technically, yes, but not in the way that you're thinking."

"I don't know what I'm thinking...!" You burst through confused laughter. "My boyfriend just told me he stole flowers for me. From where?!"

His eyes shifted from you, to the side, and then back again, folding at the sight of your expecting face looking back up at him.

"My neighbor..." His voice strained quietly, and you could all but sigh and shake your head, letting your nose bury itself back into the makeshift bouquet of freshly stolen flowers.

"That old lady is gonna strangle you with her bare, wrinkly hands."

Henry snorted, sparing you his impulsive thought of the fact she'd have to know it was and catch him first, and instead, fake pain at your light slaps to his chest.

"You're supposed to be a superhero, not a midnight theif...!"

"Hey, c'mon..." He cooed, tugging you closer and smiling when you did begrudgingly move forward towards him.

"...You know I'd go rogue for you any time."

"Y'know, I'm starting to miss Kid Danger." You quipped with a smirk. "At least he'd know better than to pluck flowers from someone's garden."

"Mmm. Fair." He nodded before obnoxiously pushing his forehead up against yours. "But does he kiss you the same way I do?"

"Mmm-"

And before you could pretend to debate the matter, he had done just that, forever gentle with you as he placed his lips on yours and stole any thoughts, stability in your legs, and air in your lungs you had left.

Well, maybe not steal. You'd let him have that any time, the same way he'd bring you flowers at midnight to make up for any of his absences.

Just the thought had you breaking the kiss with another giggle, your turn to grow shy at the attention before you were finally able to fully heal the last little remnants of that ache in your chest.

"You should stay."

You threw it out as a casual suggestion even though you were practically screaming inside for him to say yes. And of course, you got your wish, because what wouldn't he do for you?

"I will."

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭, 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐨🤭...

but seriously, I really hope you enjoyed, this was super fun and cute for me to write. got me wishing he was under my tree for xmas😔✋🏽.

also, I apologize for this taking as long as it did, there's reasons I have that will be later explained in a separate post/announcement, so ya :'D.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@junknstufff

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

3,877

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

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mikalame · 7 months

Text

Pick- up

going out on a limb here lol havent written smut in god knows but i had this idea like ages ago and just wanted to write it down. please dont judge this kinda made me cringe a couple times lol

warnings: SMUT, phone masterbation, R.I.P Bill

Toms POV

"Fuck ___ pick up, pick up, pick up" Tom mutters into his phone the high pitched call ringing in his ear. The sound turning off and the beeping of a missed call is now echoing in the quiet room. Tom looks over to check if Bill is still asleep, the only think tom can see is his brothers back facing him on the single bed across the room.

Tom breaths a sigh of relief, if Bill knew what Tom really wanted he would be kicked out and made to sleep in the hallway as ___ wasn't picking up, Gustav and Georg love their privacy way to much to want Tom to sleep in their rooms so that was a no go as well.

"Fuck sakes" Tom groans, he lifts his bed sheets to see if his hard on is getting any softer but to no avail. Another time this would be great, he could go sneak into ___ room fuck her to his hearts content give her a quick little i love you kiss then sneak back before Bill and the others wake up.

But no, it just had to be on the day where they all had to get up at the ass-crack of dawn. Looking to his bed side table the clock flashing 11: 15 pm, not to late into the night but everyone is probably trying to get some rest of the big day tomorrow including ___.

Deciding to give it one more call he reaches for his phone chucked somewhere in his messed up sheets. Scrolling quickly to try and find her number in his phone catalogue, groaning quietly when his boxers rub against his sensitive cock.

"Please, please,please, pick up ___, god" he groans feeling a tad bit guilty about waking her up but god did he need help right now. As the beeping sound of a missed call sounds again he groans giving up hope that she would pick up.

'Bing' his phone rings. Toms head whips over to his phone, flipping it open and seeing that he had a new message from ___ his heart pumping wondering if he was actually going to do this, but the quickly making up his mind as he had now dragged ___ into his problem.

___ POV

The ringing of my phone wakes me up again. I roll my eyes getting annoyed at who ever keeps ringing me at such a late hour. One more ring goes off and i groan if frustration and snatch my phone from the bedside table.

I shut my eyes tight as the blinding lights flash me, as i get used to the brightness and can actully see whats on the tiny screen i see its from my boyfriend Tom with like a bazillion calls next to his name.

I get the reason Bill spilt us up, not wanting to her the headboard slam against the shared wall or the gasps and moans as we fuck each other to over stimulation but oh well. It does feel weird not having Toms warm body pressed against my back, his wandering hands running up and down my thing or his soft breath on the back of my neck but i digress.

Texting him quickly the letters on my screen pop up slowing, still groggy from just waking up but i manage to get a go enough sentence to send.

Me- Hey babe whats up why you ringing to late at night??? Tom- Please i need you, ive had this boner for like ages and it wont go away please help. Me-Really Tom a boner you woke me up in the middle of the night cause your horny Tom- Yes baby i know it sound stupid but its so sentitive right now and i cant bare it please Me- Why dont you just jerk off then? Tom-yeah but i dont got any sexy pictures of you on my phone to use and i get to distracted to make anything up in my head, can you just call me please

You furrow your eyebrows in amusement before another ding went off, wondering what Tom has to say now you open the chat log and see Toms cock standing tall, tip swollen and red, pre dripping from it already. You wont lie but seeing his dick even with the shitty lighting from the camera flash gives you that warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach.

Tom- please baby, i cant take it no more

He types in the chat. Your a bit confused as to what to do, wondering if he wanted to come into your room as him and bill are sharing a room and that wound be weird or if he wanted to have phone sext which your havent done before.

Me- So do you want to come over to my room or what?? Tom- To risky bills got some sorta fancy security thing set up on the door to make sure i didnt try and come to yours well just call okay Me- Wont Bill hear you on call though? Tom- I'll be quite baby dont worry

is the last text you get before the phone rings again. Not waiting another second you pick up that call, flicking your bedside table lamp on and sitting up against the headboard, your thighs tightening in anticipation.

Hearing a groan from the other side of the call you assume Tom has already started to try and get rid of his problem. You hear shilick noises which you can guess if Tom working his hand up and down before another low groan reaches your ears.

"Hey baby"Tom whispers a slight chuckle at the end, "Hey Tommy, really that bad is it?" you giggle finding this all a bit to amusing."Fuck you have-mmh no idea" he groans half way through talking "say some thing baby- need to hear- ngh- need to hear you noise fuck please, talk about - anything ugh" tom moans in a hushed noise.

You hear the bed creak through the phone wondering if he was thrusting up into he hand, the same way he does when you give him blow-job. Not having a clue what to say you just repeat things you have heard him say when hes close to cumming, words flowing out of his mouth as the high hits him.

"Fuck~ ___, need you so bad" he voice pitched higher then before his hand jerking him off faster." What do you want tom huh? you want my mouth to suck you off or just my hands maybe both though i bet you would like that" hearing a louder groan from the other side signalling to you that he was getting closer you keep going. "Yeah you like that, face fuck me, making me choke on your dick hmm".

Toms POV

Fast gasps come out of my mouth the knot in my stomach getting bigger, i move you phone to rest between my ear and my shoulder and move my other hand to my balls kneading them slowly. The extra movement adding to the stimulation my body starts heating up and i feel myself get closer.

___ spewing words into my ear, the sanarios of want we could be doing if there wasnt a wall between us carring me furter to my climax. I grip my cock harder aswell as my balls going faster letting out a few loudish moans quickly looking over to bill to see if hes woken up but his body still relaxed and not moving.

"Fuck ___-ngh- im gonna-Fuck!" you groan into my phone, my body tensing, my hips rising further to meet my hand, my back arching with my eyes rolling back as the high hits me hard. I bite onto my bottom lip really not wanting Bill to wake up at this point, fisting my dick again riding out my high i let a few moans out just to let ___ know that i was cumming.

As my body slumps back down onto my bed i let go of my now softening cock letting it rest on my lower stomach. Letting my breath get back to normal and cleaning up my cum before talking to ___.

"Thank so much babe, fuck i really needed that" i say with a much clearer tone "No problem babe, i hope you know that your gonna have to fuck me in the morning i don't care when but this phone sex thing god it hot, but id rather have you fuck me then listen over the phone of you get what i mean" she giggles.

We quickly say our good bye as i try and get some sleep, looking back at Bill seeing his back turned i can only pray that he didn't wake up, my eyes drifting to the clock flashing 11:39. I pull my body deeper into the bed my eyes only now feeling heavy as i slowly drift of to sleep.

TIME SKIP

I wake up the sun barely up but lighting up the room enough without lights looking towards bill bed seeing he not there must mean he up and about probably in a very pissy mood but still. Grabbing my socks and slipping them on i walk around to ___ room, seeing shes not there i raise my brow. I walk to Gustavs next, no one there i huff walking down the corridor all the way to Georg room, knocking a few times before jiggling the door handle to see if it was unlocked it was....

Opening the door i was met with everyone's faces: Bills face scrunched in disgust, Gustav mouth hanging open, Georg looking like he was about to die if he kept his laughter in any longer which seemed to be right as he busted out laughing clutching his stomach. ___ face in her hands i get the gist that ether ___ told them about our call or Bill woke up and told them.

"You couldn't of waited!" Bill shouts, my question getting answered. "Hey my plan was to go to ___ room but you had that fancy lock on so" i say not caring to much i grab a coke from the fridge and sit down next to ___ opening it a placing my arm around her shoulder giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I told you he was gonna wake up" she says leaning her head on my shoulder as we watch Bill rant about last night with Georg dieing from laughter and Gustav in shock. "Oh well, he'll get over it" i chuckle taking a sip from my coke.

YALL i hope you liked please leave requests they are open 😁

Taglist @oppopotamus@adissonsss@violentnewmarley@saumspam

#tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz imagines #tom kaulitz smut

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g1rld1ary · 2 months

Text

you never disappointed me - part three

part one part two part three part four

➻ synopsis: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader ; after beckendorf does some research with silena, luke finally knows how to ask you out (10 things I about you AU)

➻ word count: 2642

➻ warnings: ooc/kind of loser!luke, ooc silena, she/her pronouns used for reader, sexual innuendos, alcohol, smoking

➻ so i immediately got hit with a ton of uni work lols (so mean for first week??) so this took a little longer than expected sorries!!

TAGLIST: @myxticmoon @wicca-void @leeknows-wife @thekittyxo-blog @number-onekidqueen @instabull @slaybestieslay946 @sflame15-blog @yourfavmiki @ivory-sage

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

While you were being tormented by the two boys Camp Half-Blood (or maybe your mom?) kept sending your way, Charles was following Silena around like a lost puppy, noting down whatever she could find about you in your limited personal space in the Aphrodite cabin. After several minutes of nothing promising, he was starting to feel hopeless.

“She’s not a…” Beckendorf trailed off, looking for more delicate phrasing.

“Girl in Red fan? No. I found a picture of Heath Ledger under her bunk once so I’m pretty sure she’s not harbouring any queer feelings.”

“So that’s the kind of guy she likes? Pretty guys?”

“I don’t know,” Silena said impetuously, “All I’ve ever heard her say is that she’d die before dating a guy that smokes.” Beckendorf cringed. That was an issue. Silena continued mindlessly, digging through your drawers and belongings. She pulled out your reading list, planner and a sticky note of things you were going to do when you left after summer. Finally, Silena let out a devious giggle as she dug through your top drawer. She didn’t let Beckendorf wonder for long, as she pulled out a pretty pair of lacy black underwear.

It wasn’t the most scandalous piece of lingerie sitting in that cabin — not by far, but Beckendorf still blushed like the teenage boy he was, almost too afraid to look at the scrap of fabric.

“And, uh, what does that tell us?” He asked, eyes anywhere but the cloth.

“She wants to have sex someday, that’s what,” She said it as if it were obvious, and Beckendorf wished a hole would open up and swallow him down. He really didn’t want to be talking about your sexual desire right now.

“She might just like the colour?” He mumbled, hand running over his hair in an effort to ground him.

“You don’t buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.” Beckendorf felt kind of guilty, he figured he probably wasn’t who you had in mind when buying black lingerie, and it was starting to feel like a serious invasion of privacy. That was only heightened when Silena pointedly avoided telling him which area was hers, saying it was ‘private’. He rationalised his actions by praying to the Gods the plan would work and everyone would get a happy ever after.

Still, Percy and Beckendorf took this research to Luke in his semi-secret spot behind the training arena, where he could drink and smoke without being worried about being caught by the younger kids or Chiron. He didn’t look exactly happy to see them, but Beckendorf thought he might just be warming up to them.

“So, what’ve you got for me?” He asked, taking a swig of his beer.

“Insights into a very complicated girl,” Percy said, dislike of you obvious.

“Just one question,” Beckendorf asked “Should you be drinking if you don’t have a liver?” One of his new brothers had told him the rumour that Luke had sold his liver on the black market during his quest for a pack of cigarettes and a ticket back to camp.

“She hates smokers!” Percy interrupted, hopefully before Luke could process what Beckendorf had said, and very successfully redirected his focus as Beckendorf grabbed the lit cigarette out of his hand, snuffing it out on the dirt.

“So I’m a… non-smoker now?” Luke spat the words, sounding almost disgusted with himself.

“Just for now,” Beckendorf assured him. “And one more problem — Silena said that she likes ‘pretty guys’.” A tense silence fell upon them and Charles wished that sometimes he would think before he spoke. Luke’s gaze on him was heavy and intimidating, and if Percy wasn’t there with him Beckendorf probably would have cowered and escaped.

“Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?” Luke asked, and if he had to say, Beckendorf thought his attitude right now definitely wasn’t helping his case. He and Percy shared a quick look before reassuring Luke that he absolutely was a pretty guy, they just had limited experience in deciding those labels. Satisfied, Luke glanced at the list Beckendorf handed him of all of your interests and engagements. He frowned, and both the younger boys exchanged uneasy eye contact.

“So what, I’m supposed to buy her noodles and books and sit around listening to some shitty girl power band?” He asked, dread and boredom evident in his eyes.

“Have you ever been to Club Skunk? Her favourite band is playing there tomorrow night,” Beckendorf provided, disheartened by the quick shake of Luke’s head.

“I cannot be seen at Club Skunk.”

“But she’s gonna be there! She’s got tickets!” He protested, and Percy put a subtle hand on his arm.

“Dude, everyone you know is here. No one’s gonna see you at Club Skunk and think you’re less of a man or whatever. I’ll tell everyone you’re off in the woods smoking weed or something.” Luke looked at them for a long moment, seemingly considering the offer. Finally he agreed, and Beckendorf thought it may have just been to get them to go away, but he was happy enough.

Luke, having gotten over the humiliation it would be to go to Club Skunk, was more than interested at the new piece of information he’d just learned. He thought he was the only one who snuck out of camp, and he wondered how often you did it. Reasonably frequently, he guessed, since you were going to all the trouble to see a band that probably played around the state constantly. You just kept on surprising him, and though it was all a bit of an effort on his part, he had started to enjoy getting to know the parts of you that you kept hidden behind the icy exterior.

You, on the other hand, were getting really weirded out. You might’ve just been paranoid, but you were sure that the new Hephaestus kid who was friends with Percy kept staring at you. Even Percy glanced at you more than once during dinner, something you didn’t think had ever happened before — and you were not looking for attention from the camp’s golden boy, no matter how many times he’d probably saved your life by extension of his quests. Those two, coupled with Luke, whose attentions had inexplicably been focused on you for the last week, made you feel a bit like an animal on display; violently uncomfortable. As you left the meal you shot Beckendorf a nasty glare, somewhat satisfied when he jumped and averted his eyes. You shook your head in a physical attempt to clear the burdens of your thoughts. Soon you wouldn’t have to worry about any of the campers or the stupidity that flowed around the grounds.

About twenty minutes after the campfire started and the rest of the camp were safely together, you began the trek up to the Hamptons — the closest city with a venue. You waited anxiously for the bus to pick you up outside the camp lines, looking over your shoulder to ensure no one had caught you. If your adventures got around camp then Silena would absolutely tell your father as payback for being the reason she can’t date, and that was a whole new set of issues you really didn’t care to deal with. Luke, standing in the shadows watching, felt almost bad for spying on you. Almost.

You could feel your shoulders relax as you got further and further away from camp, the judgement and expectations of people you didn’t even like far behind you for the night. You’d been looking forward to this show since you got tickets with your friends during the school term, and you were determined to make it worth the pain of summer. And it really, really was. Your whole friend group had made it, making it a long awaited reunion, and the band was one you’d been following for years. You danced with all your energy, gleefully shouting lyrics and laughing loudly when you got them terribly wrong.

Luke watched this from his seat at the bar, entranced in your private bubble amongst the chaos. You were smiling — a rare sight at all at camp — but this was one he didn’t think he’d ever seen in all his years of knowing you. It wasn’t filled with pride like the ones you tried to conceal when you got a new record on the climbing wall or you finally beat Clarisse in a training match, nor was it the satisfied smirk you had when you put an egotistical camper in their place or beat up jerks like Ethan. Your smile was alight with joy; relaxed and wholehearted happiness that spread through the room and seemed infectious to anyone who passed you.

It was at that moment that Luke truly understood how you were a daughter of Aphrodite. The way the lights reflected off your hair and your eyes, the easy way you moved your body to the music, everything about you suddenly seemed perfect, and he wondered how he’d never noticed it before. Your appearance hadn’t changed drastically; your hair was loose instead of the practical up-do needed for camp, you wore a tight fitted crop top instead of the camp shirt and you might’ve had some glitter smeared around your eyes. All inconspicuous, ordinary things, yet you seemed like a brand new person. Luke decided he liked this version of you, and if this whole plan failed, at least he’d gotten a glimpse into your real world and behind the facade you hid with at camp.

He was ripped from his thoughts when he saw you make a drinking gesture to your friend, heading towards him unwittingly. He turned in his seat hurriedly, trying to act cool and unaware. You spotted him almost immediately, persona switching up as disgust crept back under your skin.

“If you’re going to ask me out again, could you just get it over with now so I can get back to enjoying my night?” You sighed, grabbing the water bottles from the bartender.

“Would you mind? You’re kind of ruining this for me.” Luke gestured around, hoping his acting chops were as good as he needed. You ignored it either way.

“You’re not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke,” You noted, curiosity getting the better of you.

“I quit. Apparently they’re bad for you.” You raised an eyebrow, almost too surprised to come up with a quip.

“You did?” You hated how genuine it sounded and turned to go, sensing him get up to follow you.

“You know, I was watching you out there before,” He yelled over the music, “I’ve never seen you look so sexy.” In possibly the worst timing in history, the song ended and the entire club was treated to Luke’s compliment. You both flushed red, and you were unable to contain a small giggle — wildly uncharacteristic for you. Luke, to his credit, only had a mildly sheepish grin on his face, and continued to follow you across the dance floor. “Come to the Apollo party with me.” You couldn’t believe him! Here you were, miles from camp and he was still asking you out. Though, you couldn’t deny that he wasn’t quite as infuriating as you originally thought.

“You never give up, do you?” You gave a good natured sigh, ducking under someone’s arm to get to your friends.

“Was that a yes?”

“No.”

“Was it a no?”

“No!” You let out another laugh which floated over the crowd and straight to Luke. He couldn’t contain his own grin.

“I’ll pick you up at 9:30!” He yelled back. You gave no indication of having heard him apart from a momentary glance, and he couldn’t tell if the smile was directed at him or just a byproduct of your situation. He took it either way.

Having gone to the effort of sneaking away from camp, Luke decided to stay for the remainder of the concert and grudgingly decided the band wasn’t that bad. Not his style, sure, but he could kind of see why you liked them. Besides, these drinks were easier to get than the contraband ones he had to smuggle into camp.

Tired from a night on your feet dancing and feeling your pleasant buzz slipping away, you were less than charmed seeing Luke waiting for your bus. It made sense, obviously you were going the same place, but you didn’t want him to ruin your great night by pestering you about a date.

“What are you doing here?” You asked bluntly, eagerly sitting on the misshapen little bench.

“Getting home?” He trailed off, unsure of what you were looking for. “Besides, we’re a long way from camp and it’s late. Didn’t feel right leaving you here alone.” You hated that you thought it was sweet.

“Do you not think I can take care of myself?” You picked a fight instead, unwilling to be genuine with him. Luke wasn’t stupid enough to fall for it.

“I have complete faith in you,” He laughed, “I’m making sure you don’t kill whoever bothers you.” You let out a snort of a laugh accidentally. You tried to recover,

“It’ll be you if you’re not careful.” Somehow Luke didn’t believe you.

Surprisingly, the trip was almost pleasant. Luke had already gotten what he wanted from the night and the next phase of his plan was shaping up, so he knew bringing up your impending date would only sour your mood. Instead, when he plonked himself down in the seat next to you on the bus, you talked about mundane, silly things. He asked about the friends you were with and let you talk about your life in New York, waving you off when you started to feel guilty since he was at camp all year.

“There’s this really cool record store, we go there all the time. They have this huge bulletin board on one wall where these tiny little bands put up posters for random gigs with, like, fifty people there — it’s so sick, like the 90s I guess. Maybe —” You cut yourself off but Luke knew where you were going. Maybe I could show you. You would deny it if he brought it up, but he couldn’t contain his smile either way.

You were surprised that you had so much to talk about, briefly wondering why you’d never been friends with him before, but the conversation continued all the way to the camp border, where you both knew the risk of sneaking back in meant your night together was over. Once you got into camp there’d be people all around; campers should be in bed but counsellors often patrolled for a while, and many of the non-demigod folks around camp could be up and about well into the early hours of the morning.

“So, um, I’ll see you around?” His sudden shyness was unexpectedly charming, and you found yourself giving Luke a smile — a real one that made his heart flutter embarrassingly.

“Bye, Luke.” You held eye contact for a fraction longer than necessary before disappearing into the shadows. Luke watched you go, not quite starstruck but close to it. A rustle of the trees behind him spurred him into action, but the image of you on the dance floor played on repeat behind his eyes as he lay in his bunk.

#giasfics˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀#love #fluff #luke castellan #pjo series #percy series #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson show #percy jackson tv show #pjo #luke castellan pjo #pjo tv show #pjo fandom #percy jackson #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan fanfiction #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you

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voidbeomgyu · 10 months

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ALONE (Teaser)

In which you meet your bias in the worst circumstances.

PAIRING Idol Jake Sim x Fan Fem Reader

GENRE Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Slow Burn, Romance/Strangers to Lovers, Suggestive (Maybe smut, not sure yet.), some fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MDNI, Descriptions of violence, death, blood, etc., All members except Jake died so keep that in mind (I'm sorry), Cursing, Crimes, Mental health talk and experiences, Death, Sickness (Throwing up), Making out, Smut(?), It's an apocalypse!au idk how else to warn about that LOL

SUMMARY The group Enhypen get on a plane to the US and when landing are met with the worst. Jake makes it out alive... but alone. Since the dead are attracted to areas where the population is saturated, your best bet is to stay low in the areas usually considered dangerous (alleyways, abandoned buildings, etc). He made his way into the country and found a nice cabin alongside a lake. His further inspection led him to believe it was abandoned for whatever reason, maybe it was a vacation home? Little did he know his inference was correct, and soon he was met face to face with a member of the family who owned it. How would she react to seeing her favorite artist rummaging through the cupboards of her new--hopefully permanent--home? And how would he be able to explain to a loyal fan of his that he was the only member left?

TEASER WORD COUNT 1,625

RELEASE DATE To be determined.

TAGLIST Comment on this post or send an ask to be added. (Have your age on your profile or you will not be tagged)

Endless walking while trying to find a suitable place to stay was slowly driving Jake insane. The exhaustion from travelling, fear of death, and anguish from the scene at the airport was weighing down on him heavier and heavier every second. Having watched his best friends, his brothers, his family all being taken away from him without being able to do anything but listen to the oldest’s words, “Run”.

Jake had not yet cried, there was no time for it. It’s been almost thirty six hours since then, he’d stolen a bike around a mile away from the airport. It’s helped him a lot on his journey to safety. He never stole, he wasn’t like that, not that type of person. But in the moment he didn’t have the time nor energy to feel guilty about it.

Jake didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but he wanted quiet. Not knowing wether or not it’ll be safer in the city or the country side, he chose the latter. Cities are crowded with people, meaning they must be crowded with the dead by now, right? No matter; either way he knew he’d feel much better being in the middle of nowhere, or at least in the middle of what looked like nowhere. All alone in an abandoned farm house, maybe a lake house, any house on the country side would do. He was being too optimistic, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. Finding a safe home to live in alone with no one around for miles sounded comforting.

The Jake from two days ago would’ve shivered at the thought of being completely alone. Though no extrovert, he needed people. He needed that connection, that interaction. His reasons to smile and laugh were mostly based around the people around him or the entertainment he consumed. Entertainment was out of the question now, and it seemed like people were too. Most dead, and others probably too violent to give Jake a chance due to the circumstances.

All he held on him was his and Sunghoon’s carry-on bag from the flight. Note to self, don’t try to save your friend by holding onto their bag. Thoughts like this crossed his mind every few minutes, tragedies sentenced as jokes but he wasn’t laughing. What’s wrong with me? How could I think something like that? Maybe it was the dehydration, starvation, overall fatigue? He hadn’t eaten anything since the flight and was savoring the small amount of water he had on him. Either way, thinking of his beloved friends didn’t do much to help his mood. Trying to think of the good times? Those good times will never happen again, they’re gone forever and I’ll never get them back.

More days passed like this. With a stop at a gas station probably being the reason he’s even alive right now. It was abandoned, for the most part. It was the early morning, and he was literally starving now. The cashier was still there, but his neck was chained so tightly to the wall that it was on the edge of ripping his head clean off. Oh, he was a living corpse too. Jake could tell that much by just looking at him, muffled grunts and groans coming from the pale body every minute. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care much of Jake’s criminal activities there. Stuffing whatever foods and drinks he could into the bags he had on him. They were even heavier now, but he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb to all feeling, mentally and physically.

At day four he had started keeping track of how many days passed with a calendar he found on the wall of the gas station that morning. He didn’t stay there though, he didn’t have it in him to kill the cashier, and he knew that if he somehow got loose while he was sleeping it would all be over. The past few days he hadn’t slept or rested much at all actually. Napping for at most an hour at a time, waking up to the slightest noises and scurries of nearby wildlife. He knows he’s incredibly lucky to not have encountered any of the dead, besides the one at the gas station, but it’s a little stressful to not have seen any either. Where could they all be? He had made it out of the city, the once bustling streets on day two, he knew many people weren’t out here to begin with. But knowing there are creatures that could kill him in seconds lurking while having no idea where they are was terrifying.

It’s been six days. His legs started feeling numb just hours after finding his bike due to the frantic pedaling, now he felt like his legs were asleep all the time. The feeling of pins and needles covered his lower body as they worked on auto pilot to keep him going. His back felt horrible, slouched from his broken spirit. Endless cramping and soreness of his hands and fingers from gripping the bikes handles for hours at a time. His knuckles were white, and now so was his once tanned and alive skin.

His lack of proper meals, sleep, and rest was now obvious. Jake hasn’t seen himself since that day in the airport, but from looking at his now thinner, paler, vein visible arms, he could take a guess at what his face looked like. Hell, he could feel the bags under his eyes whenever he blinked now.

It’s been quiet and empty for a few miles. Nothing but grass, and a dirt trail he’s been following in sight. How long is this damn trail? he thought. Jake started following the trail at the sunset of day five; he remembers because of his calendar. It was coming to the end of day six, the sun starting to set in the distance behind him. He found a flashlight at the gas station and used it to find himself a place to “rest” for the nights he faced, it neared the time to find a spot to sleep.

Trees were all around him now, the area looked more alive here, not dried out and dead like the miles before. He must be getting close to some sort of building, forest trails usually have a building as a starting point, right? Unless this trail wasn’t made for hikers, in that case he was hoping in vain.

It was almost completely dark now. Jake had usually found somewhere to stay by this time, but something was telling him to keep going. Using the flashlight to illuminate the shadowed forest, he heard his friends voices cheering him on over and over again.

“Keep going Jake!”

“Just a little longer!”

“You’ll be okay!”

Tears were unconsciously streaming down his face now, though he still didn’t feel anything. His body just gave up on the effort of keeping them in.

Jake pedaled faster. He couldn’t hear anything but his heavy panting, it felt like someone had covered his ears with their hands and muted the sound of everything around him. He saw something in the distance, the roof of a building; he padaled faster. A house, the roof made of wood, looked like a cabin; he padaled faster. He could hear the muffled sound of streaming water; he pedaled faster.

Face to face with a cabin, going so fast he couldn’t stop himself from crashing into the wet grass below him. Still struck with adrenaline, he pulled himself up quickly and dragged his bike to the front door. His broken and unused voice sounded through his pants as he tried frantically to open the damned door.

The door handle had a key hole but was locked with a rusty padlock. He could turn the handle and wriggle the door, that padlock was what he needed to remove. He pulled a hammer out of his bag; he grabbed it from the gas station floor, it was covered in dried blood. Obviously used by someone prior to leaving it there. Jake slammed the hammer into the padlock, over and over again. The loud bangs from striking the lock were null to Jake’s ears, his desperation coating over all his sense.

Smash. The padlocks body is broken away from its handle and the door is free from it’s hold on the wooden frame.

Jake shoves his way inside, throwing the bike onto the hard floor of the entry way before turning to lock the door. It was locked from the outside but had a perfectly working lock on the inside, though he didn’t care to question it. He made it, he was safe, he felt like he could faint.

He had no time to think, let alone find a good source of light before he threw up. Keeling on the once clean floor, liquid from his stomach poured out from him. His throat burned and ached at the feeling, like his throat was made of sandpaper. Falling back he sat on the floor, staring at the door and the mess he made on the ground. He laid back and let his eyes rest for the first time in nineteen hours. Jake fell asleep there on the hard floor, knee propped up on the backside of a couch.

If he was thinking clearly, he would’ve checked the entire cabin, then scavenged for any foods that may be there. But he was broken, body and mind. Luck had been on his side since the beginning though. The home was completely vacant before he entered, and when he wakes up he’ll have found himself a place to live in safely. Away from the corpses living in the surrounding cities, and away from any still living people, all alone.

(A/N: Hello friends! I'm finally writing LOL I've had this wip since December and I'm finally going to finish it. This post is just to see if people would even be interested lol. The total fic word count I don't know yet because I haven't finished it, but I am close! I won't give y'all any hints but I will apologize in advance for the angst I'm about to put y'all thru<3 sorry love you guys muah. Don't know exactly when I will publish the full fic, maybe right when I finish it, maybe a month after I finish it IDK I haven't written seriously in months so I'm not too confident anymore but I am excited. Hope y'all are as excited as I am :D )

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heyhihellosworld · 7 months

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𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨

Lando Norris x OC Alice Davies

Word Count: 7.6k

Summary: Childhood friends too...?

Warnings: People changing, friendship ending, breakup, very brief smut, Angst!

Notes: Never written for Lando before but this idea seemed fitting for him soo. Also this is not an x reader story but an OC because it felt right and the OC is completely made up, names found on google's first page lol. It's soooo long too hehe. This fic needed so much research and I'm sure it's not all correct, but it is fanfiction, and also it's angstyyyy, probably not a happy ending, sry

2005 Hampshire

"Lando Norris, what are you doing?!" Cisca yelled over the small yard causing the young boy to stop in his tracks. His hand still in Alice's hair as he was in the middle of pulling her to the ground.

"She took my car!" Lando tried to argue but Cisca looked furiously at her young son. "Take your hands out from her hair!"

Lando slowly untangled his hands from Alice's long strands and turned to his mother, having the decency to look slightly ashamed.

He glanced at his younger friend, her face holding a soft pout and her eyes spilling over with tears as she tried to hold them back. Lando always felt guilty when she looked like that, especially when it was his doing.

"Say sorry to Alice!" Lando's mom ordered, the small boy lifting his eyes slightly "Am sorry Alice" he spoke, feeling small under his mothers hard gaze. "You never pull her hair again, okay?"

"Okay, sorry" he muttered, turning around to follow his mother towards the house.

As he started walking he felt sadness creep onto him, he felt sad his mother was angry at him and that Alice had that expression on her face, it was the same one she had when the boys at school poked fun at her or when she knocked at their door because her parents were fighting again. He hated to be the one making her look like that.

Just as the feeling took a hold of him he felt a small hand on his, his head turning to meet Alice's smile, her hand opening his and gently dropping the small car in his palm. It was his favourite which was why she always teased him with it. "I'm sorry I took your car"

"It's okay, as long as you're not mad at me" Lando smiled. His eyes fleeting around before he found what he was looking for, running to the small row of flowers and picking the prettiest one before running back to Alice, hand offering the blue flower.

Her smile split her face open, she loved flowers, especially blue flowers. The girl wrapped her arms around her friend, thanking him with a soft giggle.

Soon enough the two kids happily strutted on, arms around eachother and Cisca looked at them with a fond smile as the kids where all happy again, playing tag in the green grass.

They were innocent, small and new to the world. If only it would always be this easy to forgive and forget.

2006 TeamSport Go track

Alice watched with longing eyes as she watched her friend in the go-kart. It was a competition hense why she was not allowed to join, she didn't necesarily want to compete but she liked to kart and Lando did too. So much he had told his friend he was gonna drive in formula when he got older, he was gonna be in f1 and win the championship.

It was already done

"Are you sure that's possible?" Alice had asked quietly, not to upset him but just because it meant he wouldn't be here, with her forever.

But Lando had told her that of course it was posible and maybe she didn't understand now because she was younger. She was in fact born a year later but she was only barely two months younger, something she had held for herself as she looked at the seven year old boy, his goal already set.

Done and dusted.

It was naive to think that they would spend all summers and years like this even if he wasn't in formula one but it was her thoughts, the underlying inevitable. She didn't want to seperate from him, ever. He was everything she needed and everything she always would need, that she knew.

Even if she was only six.

2008 Hampshire

The sun was bathing on the young girl, her hair sticking out in every directions after their dip in the water, despite the warmth she had a warm smile etched on her face. Laughing with Lando as he threw water on her, chasing her down until she stumbled face first into the cold water.

This was the first time in a long time the two bestfriends were together again. Lando had been busy with his karting and Alice had not been able to follow him around.

The girl squeeled as she found herself underwater, the waves keeping her from the surface as she struggled to get air again. Panic settled in her body before Lando gently pulled her up to the surface, chuckling as she choked on the water she had inhaled. His laughter though, stopped immideately as he watched her face morph from coughing to crying.

"Lando, that was scary" she sobbed softly, wading up to the beach again as Lando followed. He liked teasing the girl but he hated it when he took it to far and she got sad.

"I'm sorry Alice" he pouted, reaching out to help her sort her towel out as it was crumpled to pieces as she tried to smothen it out but she just slapped his hand away.

Lando stood helplessly and watched his friend dry her tears, folding her arms over her chest stubbornly. "I am sorry Alice" Lando said again but her eyes narrowed at him

"I will pick you a flower on our way back" he pleaded, knowing that was gonna make her forgive him, it always did. "Fine, but it's gotta be pretty" she said, a smile slowly forming on her face as he finally relaxed. "Of course" Lando grinned before throwing himself on her towel, pushing her off it as they laughed.

2010 Hampshire

"What do you want to be?"

The question came unexpected and the small girl pouted her lips in thought. Her eyes watching her friend who sat on the soft grass, hand picking on the strands in a way she wanted to tell him off for.

"A vet, a teacher or maybe a doctor" she rambled, Lando giggled, not to poke fun at her but because she looked so deep in thought over this simple question.

Lando already knew his dreams and had always done, it was all they talked about but lately he had pondered about her, had she ever told him? He didn't think so.

It was quite for a little while which made the young girl frown, the silence getting to her, she didn't like silence after she had said something so instead she snapped at Lando.

"Stop picking on the grass, you are destroying it" she muttered sharply, the brunettes hand immideately stopping his assualt on the gren strands. "Sorry" he muttered

Alice gave him a small smile, apologizing. "I think whatever it is you're gonna be great" Lando spoke, gathering the grass he had picked into a pile and blowing it in his friends face.

"Lando!" she half yelled half laughed as she launched over him, pining the laughing brit into the grass, smudging his face with a few strands she had gathered. "Alice!" he laughed, trying to squirm out of her grasp but he didn't have much of a upper-hand to the girl who giggled with him.

2013 Ortona Italy

"You did it!" Alice grinned at her friend as he ran into her open arms, hugging her close to him as he giggled. "I did it" he mumbled into her soft hair. "I told you it was posible! I told you I would do it!" Lando laughed, overjoyed with the result and the win. Alice only giggled, she knew too, she knew anything he set his mind to he could do.

"Karting European Championship winner" he mumbled, smiling as the words reached his ears. This was the beginning, the very beginning to something so much bigger, to his dreams.

Alice watched his smile all afternoon as they celebrated with a big dinner in their rented house. The sun falling beutifully outside of the open deck. The grill was on and their mothers were going around filling up peoples glasses and hugging Lando every chance they got. Everybody was proud, everybody was happy.

It was one of the best days Alice could remember, not an ounce of bad mood everything light hearted and domestic in a way she never realised until years later, looking back at that afternoon.

Sitting with Lando on the edge of the landstrip down to the water, listening to him talk about his race, his dreams his passion as they munched on some sweets they had stolen from the big oak table.

Time seemed to float together as they sat there, feets gently tapping in the water, hands interwined and bodies close to the other. It was the first time they kissed, the two young teenagers to caught up in their own little bubble. To hung up on the sweet love they had always shared for eachother to even realize what kind of territority they stepped into.

2014 World Championship Karting

He could spot her from miles away, her bright smile lightning up in the crowd in front of him. She was the first one with him, the first one aproaching with her arms wide open.

Lando laughed into her embrace as she smiled like an idiot "I'm so happy for you Lando, you are so good!" she praised, his heart swelling twice it's size at her voice and words. "Thank you" he whispererd, meaning it.

When he pulled away from her embrace he had to go back to the track, his friends immideately hogging him up.

"Congrats" George smiled. Lando grinned back, thanking him as he walked with the others to their cars, gathering all of their stuff to go home.

"Hey Lando" Max asked making the boy pull back a little to get even steps with the dutch boy. "Huh?" he questioned, watching his friend pull a slight face. "Just, that girl that is always with you, who is she?" Lando was too stunned to speak, he knew they had grown a lot, to the point were girls and relationship was a hot topic. Someone who had before only been a playmate was now someone people gawked at, rating and thinking up things with. It had been drastic and Lando often thought it got a bit too much.

But he couldn't deny the obvious, the feelings and the thoughts that sometimes bubbled up despite his liking. Alice had grown up to be a beutiful girl, she had always been in Lando's eyes but not in the way he now realized and it hadn't dawned on him that othes thought the same.

Spread laughter sounded around them "Mate, careful" George joked and Max's eyes rolled "Just wondering mate"

"Alice?" Lando stuttered, wanting to scream when Max nodded. She was often with Lando but had never cared for his karting-friends, saying they weren't her type even though she had only watched them from afar.

"Well she is my friend?"

"Friend?" Max repeated "So you are not together?"

Lando conteplated lying but he shook away the thoughts "No, she is my childhood friend"

"Well she is hot"

Lando swallowed hard, gritting his teeth togehter as he didn't say anything else but Max watched him, seeing the obvious discomfort and dislike to his friends comments and decided to let it go, Lando was a good friend and he understood Alice was important for him and he didn't want to step on anyones toes.

"She seems nice, that's all" Max concluded, patting his friend comfortingly on his shoulder before letting the topic change back to the race.

Lando tried to get into the joking mood but he couldn't really let his thoughts move on from Alice. Did she have a boyfriend? It wouldn't surprise him if she had, because she was..hot?

Lando battled with his thoughts. He didn't know, Alice had always been Alice. Nothing more nothing less, feelings had never even been questioned, love as more than friends had never been brought up, not necesary because they were them, togehter. The only time something like it had been talked about was when their mothers joked about them getting married.

Well they had kissed... but still

Was this all as confusing for her as it was for him? Did she have multiple suitors chattting her up and asking her on dates? Lando had no idea. Of all the things they spoke about this was a topic they had never even touched, never felt the need to.

"Come on man, go to your girlfriend" George joked, shoving him towards Alice who stood with his family, an uncertain smile forming on his face.

2014 Costwolds

His eys watched her as she helped his mom set the table. She was wearing a white flowy summerdress, the fabric flowing in the wind. His mom had helped her fix her hair with a flower and she looked absolutely stunning, with that wide smile on her face.

He couldn't pin it down to when she went from his cute best friend to this, to Alice. A young, mature beutiful woman, someone he felt a lot for and not only platonic feelings. Of course this was strictly hidden. After their little kiss nothing else had surfaced, nothing even close to happening. They had brushed it away.

He couldn't help it tough, he was also getting older, close to sixteen now and feelings did surface, thoughts he wasn't proud of circled in his head and he wondered if she had the same thoughts or if it was just his mind that was sick.

"What are you doing?" Alice laughed softly at him as he stood like frozen on the grass. Blinking rapidly as he shrugged, playing it off like always "Nothing, I was just thinking you know?"

"Really, thinking? Seems like out of usual, no?"

He pulled a grimace at her joke, but it soon turned into a smile as her laughter filled his ears. What a sappy sap he was and he hated himself for it. If any of his friends would see him now they would laugh in his face.

"You wanna come with me to pick flowers for the table?"

"Sure" he nodded, following her out of the main door and out on the field behind Alice's house. Her parents had gotten divorced a year ago, her father moving abroad for work whilst her mother stayed with her.

They had newly been able to pull this house, a beutiful small cute little home more on the countryside with fields and forests close by. It was peaceful, comfortable and beutiful, Lando thought it fitted Alice perfectly.

"What is on your mind today? You seem so distant" she pondered softly, her hair falling in her face as she plucked a beutiful pink flower from the field. "I don't know" he shrugged.

"Then talk to me" she smiled gently as she popped the flower into her basket.

"Do you... do you ever feel..." he couldn't figure out the right words to finish his sentence, "Feel? Of course??" she deadpanned and Lando let out a soft chuckle "No, I mean have you ever felt... like... romantic feelings for anyone?"

Alice scrunched her face up as she looked at her friend. "Do you have a girl I don't know of?" she asked, offended. "But I guess?"

Lando's face heated up, hands pressing against his cheeks as he sat down in the grass. "No no I don-wait you have?"

Suddenly his stomach filled with dread, did she have someone he didn't know of?

"I think so but it's a bit weird"

Lando couldn't say anything more before she spoke again, cutting him off. "Please go on, who is this? What are you feeling, it's okay you know"

Lando removed his palms from his cheeks, taking a deep breath. He felt almost overwhelmed by her calm sweet voice, gently nudging him on.

"Well I don't know, I am so unsure on it because it's... it's someone I've known for so long and I am not sure how I got to feel more than friendship. I have no idea if she likes me back but it's just getting clearer and clearer that I can't supress that I feel more and more every day"

Alice only nodded along his fast words, trying to comprehend and figure out who this was. She felt the same, it was a bit complicated because being friends forever made it a bit tricky to point out what was what.

She tried to keep an even face, not to let him know too obviously that her heart slowly cracked at his words, he liked someone else?

His eyes met Alice's, taking another deep breath

"It's you"

2015 Hampshire

"I know" she repeated, it was all she said as she dragged Lando over the grass to the deck where she had been sitting all morning.

"What? You know what?" Lando asked confused, trying to make sense of her enthusiasm and rapid words.

She let go of his hand as they reached the small decktable, the oak scattered with papers, drawing, documents, all kinds of stuff and it didn't make Lando any wiser of what she wanted with all this.

"I know what I wanna do!" she exclaimed, excitment written all over her, from the way her eyes shone, the way her hand gestured over the papers and to how fast she talked and how she practially bounced up and down on the floor.

"Oh?" Lando asked, leaning forwards to see her papers. This had been a big deal for Alice, ever since he brought it up when they were ten she had been pondering over it. It was no stress and she knew that but for some reason, maybe because Lando knew his dream since the age of six, she felt the need to know.

"I want to be a diplomat!"

Lando fell quiet, too stunned to speak. A diplomat.

He was apparently not the only one having big dreams.

"What do you think?!" She asked, her voice so excited he had to be too. "I think it's fantastic!" Lando giggled, just as engrossed as she was as she pointed at the paper with the decsription of her future job, because Lando was sure she would make it.

"How do you become that?" "Well there are different aproaches to it depending on what you are most interested in to major but you need a bachelors degree but you can choose to major in example Law, international studies, political science or history but I think I want to go Law because then if I don't make it I can go into law for real so I'm gonna apply to Lawschool's here in England, Oxford and Cambridge. That's four years"

Lando's eyes followed her every movement as she spoke him through the different stages of how to become a diplomat. It seemed incredibly hard and long way there but she was so excited over this it made it's way over to Lando.

2016 Costwolds

He looked at her so softly she didn't know what to do of herself. His colourmixed eyes filled with so many different emotions, so many questions.

His hair was all wet from the rain that had poured down over England as usual and his lips held a soft smile whilst his hand tilted up her chin.

"You are so pretty" he mumbled softly, Alice feeling her face heating up at the comment. "You are too" she spoke, her voice like silk, so low it was hardly even hearable through their deep breaths.

She couldn't tell what had gotten them here, alone in her house, cuddled up in her bed watching a movie. Watching a movie had turned to a kiss, then a makeout and now here they were, asking eachother silent questions about how to move forward.

They had started to explore more and more ground with eachother after their feeling-revelations. Slowly but surely taking step by step.

"Are you sure?" Lando asked unsurely, his voice deep and ragged, feeling nervous as he looked at the young girl laying so beutifully on his bed. It felt like he was dreaming. Not only was there a beutiful girl half naked in his bed it was also Alice. His teenage hormones were too high to manage at this point.

"Have you... ever?" she asked, watching his head shake "No, I have no idea of how.. this is suposed to g-"

"We will figure it out" she smiled, asking both of his current questions and he smiled, face relaxing as his mouth dived to hers again.

It was slow, gentle and intimate. Both of them taking their sweet time, caring for eachother.

Their bodies moved together, figuring out what felt the best for both. Lando didn't know what to do, what to feel, it was all overwhelming to a point he became blank of thoughts. Hands gently helping her move with him, relishing in her heavy breaths and small sounds as they explored a new part of themself and eachother.

2016 Silverstone

His hand laced in hers as he gently pulled her along the streets in Silverstone. He had bought GP tickets for her birthday, revealing that his parents had helped him out a litttle after her worrying words for his money.

"Thank you" she said softly, smiling at Lando who looked back at her just as fondly. "Of course" was his reply, even though this didn't feel any type of of course

"Just want to make you happy" he murmured, making her heart soar

"I am happy just being with you, this-this is amazing and I am so happy and excited but you, you will always be enough"

Lando's smile got impossible big at that, swinging their hands inbetween their walking bodies. They were both fools, fools in love but they didn't care.

He talked her through the basics even though she already knew it all. But she loved to listen to it, listen to him talk about it with so much passion, blabber about the teams, the rules, the best. Everything he knew he loaded off to her, Alice more then content to walk around the paddock like this, hand in hand listening to his voice.

2017 Hampshire

She watched as Lando helped his mother to set the table in their old summer-house. The tradition continuing on. His hands balanced the plates as his mother directed him to what should go where.

She couldn't pin down the moment when Lando, her gullible dork of a friend became Lando. Lando who got all the girls falling at his feets with his riddicolously attractive smile and brown curls. Lando who got her to feel more than platonic feelings, Lando that got her all hot and bothered just being him, Lando.

But it was still the same Lando who had picked her flowers, held her when she was sad or confused, shared her highs and been there all the time. He was the same but with some additonal things, things she didn't exactly mind.

His eyes met hers over the table, his face of concentration turning into a teasing smirk as he winked at her.

Alice couldn't help but to giggle, moving off the grass and to the table where him and Cisca were talking about something. Lando had currently signed all season in formula 3 with Carlin. But he had been home for the weekend before going off again.

"Hello" Lando smiled like a dork as she reached the two, his smile going over to her, smiling just as widely as his arms reached her body to pull her close. "Are you coming to my next race?" He asked lowly, smile breaking out again as she nodded "Of course" Alice did in difference from Lando still go to school, her goal meant hard school studying for many years forward whilst Lando's goal meant no school studying but a lot of experience gathering. It was different but it didn't bother them. Alice studied, Lando helped her best he could, usually more distracting than helping but he was also useful to use as someone to juggle ideas with and have as a listener when she pracctised her speaches or read through her essays. In return Alice listened to him ramble about motorsports, went to every race she could and simply was there for him when he needed her to be.

Despite their young age they were mature in their relationship and more than anything, they were serious about eachother.

2018 Barcelona

She watched him from a distance, watching how he went around with his friends, joking laughing. It was formula two now, a new world from forumla 3 in some ways but the biggest difference were the publicity.

The fanbase that had before been small had explded as he startde to do well in formula 2 and especially since he started to appear on the internet via social media, interviews and youtube clips. It had exploded so fast neither of them had gathered what had happened.

What Alice had gathered by now though was that this new world of the sport he loved so dearly made him more and more distant. Suddenly he cared more about his appearance than her, cared more about his image than her. It showed in so many situations, him declining to hang out with her to hang out with some friends, telling her she didn't need to come because it was better for his image if they wasn't seen together all the time.

Alice didn't know if it was better for his image or better for keeping the girls that currenly circled aorund him.

He rarely spent any time with her anymore and it was fine Alice thought, but the feeling that he was embarrassed of her, that he didn't want people to know about her or their relationship was something she felt really hurtful.

The most confusing part of it all was how different it was. When it was only them he was the same, the small soft little boy who picked her flowers and helped braid her hair but when they were with others or in public he was someone completely different. One who pushed her away, ignored her and laughed at her.

It was all getting a bit too much. In the begining she could wave it off by him being new to the experience and fame, having to navigate his way around it but it had gone too far. And it felt too much in her heart.

2019 Monza

"I think... I think we should stop seeing eachother"

Lando's words caught something deep within her, felt like a shot right at her heart as she looked at the boy.

"What?" Her words came out weak, like a faint whisper. "I think we should break up, or whatever" he spoke, this time more direct, less feelings in them, more harshness.

Break up or whatever

They had never put a label on it, they were them, nothing more nothing less. But now he wanted to be nothing?

"Why?" she croaked out not getting where it was all coming from. "I want to see other people" he deadpanned, no emotion in his voice as he looked her straight in the eyes.

She felt defeated, nothing to fight with, nothing to fight for. Because he looked so sure, he looked so distant from the person she knew so she had no choice but to let him go, regardless of the feeling of her heart breaking into pieces in her chest.

But she got numb, feelings she could deal with later, she did not want to look weak when he looked like this, acted like this.

"Okay" was all she said, dropping the flower she held in her hand and turning on her heel.

2019 England, contract with Mclaren

"Congrats" she smiled carefully at the cheery boy. Things hadn't been good lately, stifff and tense but this was his long time goal, his dream and there was no way Alice wouldn't congratulate him on it.

Even if he broke her heart.

His eyes glistened as he pulled her into a warm hug, smiling into her hair. "Thank you, really"

Lando was happy, and Alice were happy that he was happy because it felt like it had always done. He spoke about his contract, about the races infront and she listened, just like she had always done. Taking it in and gently quzzing him further. She didn't want to push too hard.

His smile grew more and more as they talked, he even came so far as to ask how she was doing, he hadn't done that in a long time but just as before, in the end of their relationship things changed fast.

He hadn't told her he'd met anyone new, although they had barely spoken at all lately, only the odd hello on their family dinners. Alice felt it was too early for that but she could see it from miles away.

His eyes flickered around as the tall girl moved towards them and she knew it before she was even there. The lump in her stomach exploding into a sick feeling.

Lando fumbled nervously as he introuduced the two, Alice's eyes stuck on her beutiful face and incredible body. She was everything in one package, one stunning package.

"When did you meet?" Alice asked, voice sweetly soft, trying to disguse any hiddden intention but by the way Lando couldn't meet her eyes she already knew it was before they had ended.

"Oh, I don't know, I think it was last year yeah?"

Last year

Lando didn't answer, didn't look at Alice, he couldn't.

"Oh wow that't nice, and it was really nice to meet you but I have to go"

"Okay, nice to meet you too!" she smiled cheerily.

Lando catched up to her before she could leave the grounds completely, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Alice" "Don't tocuh me" she snapped, feeling too many emotions at once to control it. "I'm sorry" he tried but she just waved him off

"Save it" she bit

"Don't be like this Alice, come on" "What? You met her a year ago? When we were still together?" "I did nothing with her until we broke up!" "NO but you LIKED HER?!"

Lando looked down "I don't know"

"Fuck off!

"Stop it, youre making a big deal out of this when it dosen't have to be, we broke up I found someone new" "I-I I don't even know what to say" she spoke, shaking her head at the boy she thought she knew but so clearly didn't

"What did you think Alice? That we would stay in love our whole life and get married with many kids?" "I-I don't know" she whispered because maybe that had been what she thought, or at leat hoped. More importantly she thought they were real, and that they had real feelings. But maybe it was just her.

2019 Bahrain

Alice didn't cheer nor did she congratulate. She stood next to Cisca in the Mclaren garage watching the race. She was there for Cisca and only Cisca. She suposed she had forced Lando to give her a pass as he probably much rather would have wanted to give one to his new girlfriend than Alice. But his mother was good at talking and she guessed she had skills with her son as well. Having dangled the pass in her face as Lando had agreed to give her one.

Lando glanced over at her and gave her a faint smile but he got nothing in return, just a stone face that made him advert his gaze again.

He knew why though, the very reason swinging with her long hair before stepping forward to kiss him, right in front of her. It shouldn't but it made his heart ache, he didn't know if it was because it was Alice or if it was because he was a decent human being, he doubted that though.

"Wow babe! Your first points amazing!" She grinned at him. He forced himself to tip his lips into a forced smile "Thank you babe"

He could se in his imagination how Alice would scrunch her face up in disgust. She always hated those nicknames.

"How should we celebrate?" she asked, a hopeful look on her face. She wanted to go out. Lando wanted to go home, eat dinner with his family and Alice, sit down the water with Alice and talk about everything and anything. But those days were gone and now he had a new life.

"Clubbing?" he suggested, smiling as her face lit up.

"Perfect!" she smiled, turning away from him and to Alice and his mother who stood chatting, not paying any attention at all to him or at least not by the looks of it.

"Lando, we are going home. Are you coming with us for our regular big celebration?" His mother asked and he dreaded having to answer

"No, sorry. We are going out" he voiced softly, watching his mother's smile falter as a disapointed scowl took over her face "Out?"

He didn't even dare to look at Alice, knowing she would look at him with murder in her eyes, not liking his answer.

"Okay, well it was so good seeing you" his mother smiled, hugging him close before giving him one more loook and walking out the garages. He had excpected Alice to follow his mother out but she stayed put, making him feel a bit uneasy.

Alice smiled at her as she gave her a soft wave, telling Lando to catch up with her. Alice's smile fell the second her eyes landed on Lando.

He was thinking about aproaching but decided against it, should he go? As his mind was reeling with options and things he could say Alice was standing in front of him with an uncharacteristic frown on her face.

"You are really choosing clubbing before your family?" she spoke, her words harsh but it was nothing compared to her tone, filled with venom and hard as ice.

Lando tasted different aproaches on his tongue before, of course choosing the worst one. Anger.

"You're just angry I choose her before you"

The words struck, he could see that and in a twisted way it settled something inside him. "This has nothing to do with me" she spoke back, her voice even colder than before.

"I already said I was not gonna come to any celebrations, seriously Lando, who do you think you are?" He swallowed, didn't know what to say next but she beat him to it "And since when do you even go clubbing?" her face twisted with distaste. She had never liked clubbing a lot, only rarely could she enjoy it briefly but Lando had had no problem with that. Not a fan of the crowded rooms either but now, now he wanted to make his words hurt as much as hers did.

"Well maybe that's something I can now feel free to do" he spoke harshly, watching the wave of emotion on her face as she shook her head.

"I never, ever stopped you from it"

Lando shrugged "Didn't matter"

Alice shook her head, baffled. Where had Lando gone? Because this wasn't him.

"I was just going here to ask what the fuck is wrong with you. Your mother traveled here to watch you, to support you but you can't even take the time to celebrate with them over dinner? Go to the fucking club after dinner what do I care! But you don't treat family like that''

"What do you know about family?" The words left a bitter taste in his mouth but they had already tumbled out

"Apparently more than you" she bit and maybe she was right but it didn't stop his words from tumbling out.

"Just stop it Alice, you can't control me like before, let me be"

Alice swallowed, he could practically see the emotions swimming in her eyes but it was his doing. No matter how long it had gone he still hated to be the one that made her look like that, so fragile and so hurt.

"I'm sorry if that's how you felt" she whispered before leaving him feeling like the jerk he was.

2020 Cotswold

Her fingers scrolled through the profile, clicking in to one then the other. Scrolling through comments and reactions.

It was like an addiction, once she'd started she couldn't stop.

She was clicking into his pictures, trying to make out the people he was with like she had any reason to do so.

Her eyes fleeted over it all, drinking it in as this was all she could have. Sulking over her ex 'whatever' and the life he was now living.

Her eyes locked on a particular photo, he was on the podium, the widest of smiles on his face and a cup in his hands.

She would have called herself pathetic for sitting here dreaming of the guy who broke her heart but she couldn't help but to look at the photos and dream of what once used to be.

2021 Cotswold

Stiff was a light word to put it. Everyone felt awkvard as the two 22-year old's adjusted their gaze's over the room. Who's idea it had been to put on a family reunion dinner Alice didn't know but whoever it was had started an bad idea.

She hadn't seen Lando face to face in what felt like forever and it was just as unplesant as she would have thought it would be. Horrible.

"So Alice, how is studying going?" Cisca asked sweetly

"Well it's going great, we haven't completed any major essays or studies yet but it's really interesting so I'm happy" Alice spoke, looking at Cisca who held the most comforting smile ever.

"That's fantastic honey, I always knew you would make out what you wanted, you beutiful soul!" she all but squeked making the young girl feel warm inside out "Thank you"

"So Lando, what about you?" Alice's mom asked, just as politely. Alice busied herself grabbing some more potatoes in the slowest movements she could muster as Lando spoke them very detailed through the season so far. He told them all about the car, how it felt, his teammate, his team, the last race, others on the grid, all of it.

It was a bit weird how something she used to find so intruiging, now made her feel numb. Like a big lump balling up in her stomach. "And how is your girlfriend?" She continued, everyone holding their breath

Lando looked uncomfortable as his eyes fleeted around the table not staying to long anywhere. "Well, eh. We broke up" he revealed, making Alice look at him for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Oh I'm so sorry honey" Alice's mother spoke again but he just waved it off, giving her a reassuring smile "No it's fine. I guess we realized how different we were and how different the things we want are. It was no biggie, mutual decision" he shrugged, not seeeming to care to much about it and something about that made it twist in Alice's stomach.

"And how about you Alice? Your mother told me you were seeing someone?"

Alice and Lando both looked like they were gonna faint with shock. Alice coughing on her potatoes, waving her hand as she took a sip from her glass.

"Noo" she chuckled once she recovered. "It was nothing serious at all, just a bit of...fun" she spoke awkvardly, something about that sentence making Lando's stomach twist unpleasantly.

"Aha" Cisca smiled, her lips twitching as she tried to not chuckle at both the youngsters uncomfortableness.

"I hope you mean fun like jumping into the sea and giggling in the grass" Alice's mother mused, looking at her with amusedly narrowed eyes.

"Of course, that's what I mean..." Alice giggled, hiding behind her tall glass. "Because I have never heard you even say you lost your virginity"

Alice choked at that, spluttering her drink over herself and the table as the others laughed at her.

"Well" she breathed

"Alice! You have but you have not told me?!" Her mother said sarcastically. She had figured she had, they had talked about it vaguely since she had wanted to know it was okay and all and she had also not so sneakily gotten a condom or two plus she had asked for her mother to hellp her with the pills.

"Maybe?" "There is no hard feeling honey" She started, tone warm "And Cisca has told me all about it"

This time it was Lando who choked on his drink, coughing desperately until his airways were free again. He had not been as secretive as Alice apparently had been. He had told his mother the next day about it. Not in detail of course but still.

"Oh really? What did he say?" Alice snickered, throwing a look on Lando who's face had creeped up with colour. "Oh not too much, just that you had had sex and it had been ok"

"OK?!" Alice gasped at Lando who giggled in his hands, face red as he giggled at the awkvardness of it alll

Alice couldn't help but to laugh at his face but stopped abruptly when she realized what she was doing, laughing with him?

"No I'm joking it was hideous" she deadpanned, their mothers snickered but Lando looked at her with a glare.

She cracked a sarcastic smile and engrossed herself in the next conversation floating, ignoring his gaze for the rest of the evening.

2022 Monaco

His fingers scrolled through the profile, clicking in to one then the other. Scrolling through comments and reactions.

It was like an addiction, once he'd started he couldn't stop. Obsessing over her life even though he wasn't in it anymore.

Eyes locked on the different pictures he couldn't help but think she was the most stunning person he had ever met.

He also could not stop himself from feeling his heart swell and break at the thought.

2023 Silverstone GP

Alice's hair moved in the windy air of Silverstone. His eyes wandered over her, drinking her in.

He had missed her, really missed her.

Being without her was a test on it's own, one he thoughts was nesecary to live how he wanted, but now he realized he wouldn't ever want to live without her.

It was too late, of course. He knew that, everybody knew that. He had completely wrecked everything they had and shared because of a few years trying to be someone else.

He had been fine though, moved on because he knew that's what she had done, but his heart struggled all the same everytime he saw her or even thought about her.

His mom had tried to push him towards her, saying that he needed to apologize. Lando had never understood why. A simple sorry wouldn't change a thing of what he had done, it was not gonna make anything better.

A sorry was simply not enough.

Despite that he itched to say it, beacuse he was sorry, even if that changed nothing.

A GP sunday and Alice hadn't had it in her heart to refuse Cisca's pleas for her to come with her and watch. She had been there more times since they broken up 'or whatever' and it had been fine.

But this time it felt different. From the moment she stepped into the paddock Lando's eyes were on her. Nothing unusual but his eyes were something else, held something else deep within them.

It hadn't even been half an hour after the race when he aproached her carefully. His eyes fleeting around as he stopped in front of her, hand combing through his wet curls.

"Hi" he breathed, meeting her eyes a short second.

"Hi" she answered, her heart picking up in her chest for no reason at all.

Why did it still do that?

"Good race today, congratulations" she smiled weakly making his heart grow wings. "Thank you". He was on the podium, second place, a good weekened for Mclaren, for sure.

"How you been?" he stuttered out, trying to be as normal as possible as she looked at him. "Good, you?" she replied shortly, his breath catching in his throat "Fine" he got out, his words stuck in his throat, sounding like he had just coughed them up. "I- I know this is not gonna change anything and I know I've been a proper dick but I still wanted to.." he murmured, his hand reaching into his suit pocket and bringing out a small blue little flower. Blue ones where her favoruite, it had always been.

"A flower?"

His eyes burned with sadness and regret

"I really am sorry"

Alice's eyes flickered from the sad looking guy and his handpicked beutiful flower, wishing it was enough, wishing it was as easy to forgive him now as it had been when they were small and Lando had teased her or made her cry. But it wasn't and Lando knew that too.

No amount of flowers could possibly make up for this and it absolutely shattered him.

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