#so i KNOW the author was v conscious of it??? and it was such lovely imagery too in that para so its sad :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gracieheartspedro · 7 months

Text

Who We Are

pairing: fem!reader x dbf!joel miller

description: when your father falls ill, his patrol partner and best friend, joel miller finds a way to aid in his recovery. but this solution is complicated and requires you to take on a week-long hunt for supplies and resources. being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in evenutally.

word count: 17k words. this one is a LONG ONE. get a snack.

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, age gap (reader is in her 30s, joel is in his mid 50s), i don't describe the reader all that much, consumption of alcohol, illness that requires medical intervention, blood, guns, killing of infected, forced proximity, joel is kinda pervy?, talks of loss of family members, joel lies about his past, oral (f receiving), face sitting, unprotected p in v, overstimulation, dirty talk, creampie, after care.

author's note: ... hi folks! this one is a long one, so like I said, grab a snack and get comfy! I was going to make this multiple parts but I'm eager and unhinged. to be honest, this story is better as one big one shot anyway. I had a very intense time editing so I know I probably missed some things. I may write little branch off stories if you guys enjoy it enough. anyway, enjoy! <3 lemme know what you think!

“Didn’t know you were workin’ tonight, darlin’,” Your father’s Southern drawl brings you out of your daze. You had been cleaning glasses for the last hour and a half. Surprisingly, the Tipsy Bison wasn’t busy on a Wednesday night. You had been keeping busy by cleaning and serving two visitors.

You look up, noticing your father and his patrol partner wander into the bar. They find a seat at the bar, right in front of you as you dry some whiskey glasses.

“I work every night this week, Pops,” You mutter, turning back to the liquor bottles to grab his favorite bourbon. You knew exactly what he came here for. He wanted to pester you on your shift and watch you write under his partner’s gaze. He thought your little crush was entertaining. You have made comments to your dad in the past about how you thought Joel was nice to look at and your Dad would just laugh. He would jokingly wiggle his finger at you and tell you to find someone your age.

Little do you and your father know, Joel feels similarly about you. The first moment he saw you, he thought about how if he was a young buck, he’d lock you down as soon as he could. The age held him back initially, never even entertaining your subtle glances or welcoming smiles. Then when he realized who your father was, he immediately shut down all thoughts like that in his head. You were strictly off-limits.

“Well good, keeps you busy.”

You did not enjoy the idea of working every weeknight with a bunch of drunks, but this job was a bit better than constantly shoveling horse shit. Instead, you got to mingle with the locals. Maybe find yourself a man, since you were in your early thirties and unmarried.

Joel loved coming to the Bison when you were here. It meant he got to drink a whiskey neat and watch you twirl and rush around the bar. Tonight was slower, though, so he got the privilege of speaking with you, which was rare.

You pour your Dad his bourbon, finally glancing up at his partner who’s practically ogling at you. You made a conscious effort to avoid his piercing brown eyes.

Joel Miller was a dream boat, god damn. Every time he glanced in your direction, you would freeze up and stutter out a very jumbled “hello”. He was quite guarded, never much to talk. When he did finally speak, you found yourself reeling over his deep voice.

“Whatcha want, Mr. Miller?”

His lips twinged, his eyes flicking up to yours. He loves hearing you say that, he thinks to himself. You hand off the bourbon to your Dad, waiting for a response.

“Whatever he’s having is fine, sweetheart,” He says plainly, nodding toward the half-empty bottle. Your knees could buckle at the nickname, but you keep your composure. You can’t crumble that easily.

You three slide into a conversation about their patrolling, what they found that day, and the game plan for tomorrow. You make a sly comment about how they needed to find some meaning in life other than patrol. Your dad laughs, and Joel just stares blankly at you. You instantly want to take back the comment and never speak again, ever. Instead, you just continue drying the glasses you just washed.

When your dad finished his bourbon, you noticed his expression change from relaxed to pained.

“You okay there?” You ask, grabbing his glass and placing it in the sink below the counter. He rubs his chest, letting out a deep guttural cough. Joel looks perplexed while you get closer and notice the blood splattering into your dad’s palm.

“It’s nothing, just a cough,” He manages to say, his voice hoarse. You scan his face, knowing immediately that he’s lying.

“Bullshit, you’re coughing up blood,” You reach towards some towels, tossing them on the counter in front of him, “You should probably go get checked out, Dad.”

Joel quips, “Yeah, don’t need you getting sick when we are out tomorrow. Why don’t you stop by the infirmary before you go home?”

Your Dad just shakes his head, “You two are being dramatic. It’s nothing, I promise.”

Your Dad was known for downplaying his pain and sicknesses. You remember being a little girl traveling with him across the country and every time he got hurt, he’d just suck it up. He shattered his left pinky years ago and he resolved to just chop it off. So that’s what he did. He was lucky it never got infected. But he was known just to blow off all his ailments, reminding you he’s beat all the other odds.

So instead of fighting with him, you just nod all the while, stealing a long glance at Joel. He’s finishing his drink and you can’t help but watch his neck. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and you fixate on it for a bit too long.

You’re brought out of the trance when he slams the glass down, his dark brown eyes drooping. Joel always looked tired, but you knew after the day they had, he was actually tired.

You had a couple more hours at the Bison before you had to close up, so you bid them a farewell, reminding your Dad that you’d be home before he stumbles off to bed. He never slept much, he would just read in the living room until you got home usually.

Joel waves you a farewell, thanking you quietly for the drink.

“Don’t be a stranger,” You say as he turns his back to you to head for the door. He turns a bit, giving you a slight smirk as he reaches for the door.

You spend the rest of your shift daydreaming about what it’d be like to be with a man. You spent most of your time in Jackson without giving much of the men your age a thought. More than half were taken, anyway. While you let your mind wander, you realize your imagination is placing Joel in the spot of all the made-up situations with this said man.

You lock the bar door behind you, tugging on it to ensure it’s snug in the latch. The air was shifting, the cool warm summer turning into a slightly chilly fall. You wore a long sleeve today, luckily, or else you’d be shivering on your way home. The walk home wasn’t a long one.

When you reach your front door, you realize the living room light is on. Dad’s awake.

But as you reach to turn the knob, you hear ghastly breathing from the other side. When you swing the door open, you see your Dad in his recliner, his hand over his chest. He’s dry heaving, trying to get out a cough.

“Hey, hey,” You quickly race to his side, “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

He breathes in deeply, “I just can’t seem to catch my breath. Something isn’t right.”

You have never seen him so panicked. You nod, understanding that your next step is to get him to the infirmary. He should have gone on his way home. You didn’t know if anyone would be there and you surely didn’t know if they would be able to treat his symptoms.

“Are you in pain?” You ask, grabbing under his arms to lift him out of his chair. He’s wobbly, so you keep your hand under his armpit and use your other free arm to balance him. He shakes his head.

“Just weak.”

Your heart sinks. Never in your life has your father admitted to feeling weak or sick. It was like as soon as he got home, his body just gave out. You help him into his shoes and start your trek back towards the middle of town. You wish you didn’t have to walk him so far because it felt like with every 5 feet, his lungs were giving out and sending him into a coughing fit. You probably woke the entire town trudging him through the streets. When you get to the front step of the infirmary, you knock as loud as you can. Usually, they had an overnight shift nurse helping, having them watch over whoever was dragged there during the day. Dispensing medicine if need be. You knew a couple of the nurses, most of them your age or a bit older.

When a familiar face opens the door, you feel a sense of relief.

“Hey Sidney,” You greet her, sort of pushing your Dad into the room, still keeping your hands wrapped around his center, “Something’s wrong with Pops.”

She reaches out to help you with him, “Oh no, what’s going on?”

“Can hardly breathe,” Is all he can muster out. You look at Sidney, concern spread across your face. She nods, knowingly.

Sidney was one of the nurses you trusted the most. She gave you stitches when you sliced your hand open on a glass bottle a couple of weeks ago. She was patient and gentle, always checking to see if you were doing alright as she sewed your skin together. She’s a former Firefly, probably in her 40s. She got trained by some doctors years ago so she knew a decent amount about all sorts of medical treatment.

She takes hold of the situation completely, grabbing your Dad and walking him to a free bed near the door. She gets him to lie down and she starts scrambling for some supplies to do a quick once over of him. He looks pale and for some reason, very small, in the hospital bed.

“It’s gonna be alright,” You say, poking his arm. You say it for him, but you mainly say it for yourself. He closes his eyes and nods.

“Always is, kiddo.”

The news was not ideal. After observation and some tests, Sidney decided your father probably has pneumonia. The problem was, that Jackson was low on antibiotics and they would have to decide if your Dad’s case was urgent enough to give him some.

It pissed you off, but you had to hold back your anger. This situation was out of Sidney’s control, but you knew exactly who to raise your voice to. Sadly, the city council was asleep in their beds, as it was 4 a.m. Sidney reassured you that she would ensure your father was looked after until the morning when they could discuss with everyone if it would be okay to give him some of the highly sought-after antibiotics.

But for now, you should get some rest.

Your father fussed at you while he was in and out of sleep, telling you that you needed to go home and sleep. Your body was plagued with exhaustion and your brain was hardly functioning. You would need to plead a good case, so even a couple of hours of sleep would do you good. You ask if you could occupy a bed nearby and Sidney agrees with a sympathetic smile. You curl up, trying to clear your brain of your racing thoughts.

You can’t lose your father, he’s all you have.

You need to remind the council of all your father does.

You need him to get better.

You need him.

“We only have 4 vials of antibiotics,” Maria states, trying not to look you in the eyes. She feels horrible, but she knows deep down the rest of the council will probably reject your father using any. It was going to be a tough decision like this that made most of the people in the council think they were playing God, but it was real life. Would they give your 60-something-year-old father antibiotics for pneumonia or give it to a young child suffering from an infection? They had to think ahead and supplies were scarce.

You cross your arms, waiting for the next shoe to drop. “And?”

Tommy stands up, knowing you will not like the next sentence. He practically guards Maria with his broad frame. He resembled Joel, with his dark hair and stern eyes. His were a bit softer.

“We are low on resources, hun. We need to think ahead and ensure that the pros outweigh the cons of giving him one of those vials. You understand?”

“Why was this not a thought in the summer? When it was a good time to go seek some out? I just don’t under-”

“We had that sickness going around over the summer. Lots of people getting fevers. Before we knew it, Dr. Peters realized we were low. I had intentions to get out and try to find more, and trade with some people, but we just haven’t discussed it all yet. There’s a process. It was in the works.”

Your blood is boiling and your patience running out. Each second of arguing was another second your Dad could be closer to death.

“Well, it’s a shitty fuckin’ process. Where can I go to get more, then? Is there another community we can trade with? A hospital we can scavenge? You guys can’t expect me to sit around and wait for him to get worse.”

Maria looks to Tommy, trying to wrack her brain for a response. Tommy’s lip twitches, knowing exactly what to say. He did not want you to do it, but he knew how you were. You’d do anything for your family.

“There’s a hospital in Salt Lake that I’ve heard is practically untouched. Fireflies used to reside there and do tests. They probably left behind some supplies.”

You narrow your eyes, “Salt Lake? Isn’t that a whole week away?”

You start to pace the room, trying to console yourself. You can’t just leave for that long and assume that everyone will take care of your Dad. Tommy places his hands on his hips, trying to figure out a resolution. He liked your Dad, always going to him if he needed help around the commune. Your Dad is always one to offer a helping hand and give solid advice. He didn’t want to watch him die, either.

“How about this,” Tommy huffs, “How about we give him one of our vials and you and Joel head out to Salt Lake to scavenge that hospital? If we are right in our assumptions, there’s probably a lot of resources there. And Joel’s been there before.”

“Why are you roping Joel into this?” You press, crossing your arms.

“Joel knows where to go. He can get you there in one piece.”

“Where am I going,” Joel’s presence takes you by surprise. You turn back at the front door of the infirmary, seeing Joel’s disheveled hair sticking up in every direction. He had red cheeks, probably from the jog he did to get there. As soon as he heard about your father, he booked it from the stables to his side.

Tommy shoots Joel a knowing look, “You and her are gonna go back to Salt Lake. You think they have antibiotics at that hospital you took Ellie to?”

Joel’s visceral reaction sends you. His heart practically stopped when Tommy brought up the hospital.

You start to sweat when he does, realizing you would have to travel that far with Joel Miller.

He swallows, shifting his weight to his other leg. “Probably. Why can’t ya just give him what we have?”

Maria shakes her head at his response, “We have a long winter ahead of us, Joel. We have four vials left. This saves us from a council meeting where they shoot down everything. They won’t approve it. If I reassure them that you are going to get some more, they won’t mind if we give him one.”

He huffs, scratching his chin in contemplation. You knew this would not be ideal for him, but you’re willing to do anything, even if you had to do it alone. The four of you stand in silence while Joel wracks his brain for an excuse to say no. None comes to him.

It’s not that he did not want to help you, he just does not want to relive some trauma with you by his side. He would have to swallow back all his emotions, all the while you would be posted up right next to him. He does not want you to see him falter under pressure.

“She can’t go alone, Joel,” Tommy quips, gesturing towards you. You were shaking, your body reacting before your brain even could. Your nerves were shot.

He shakes his head, “And if they don’t have the supplies?”

You didn’t even think that far.

“They will,” Tommy says, matter-of-factly, “It’s our best bet. The Fireflies disbanded, there has to be stuff left behind.”

You don’t know how Tommy knows all this, but he must have good sources to know all these things. Joel nods at him, accepting his response. He looks back at you, trying to figure out how you feel about the proposition by reading your face.

“Does that work for you?” His deep voice isn’t meant to be intimidating, but you flinch anyway at the question.

“I don’t have much of a choice. My Dad needs the medicine. If you guys think we can make it there and back in one piece, I’ll do it.”

“We will leave tomorrow morning. In the meantime,” Joel waves over Sidney, who’s still sitting by your sleeping and dazed father, “Give him one of those vials.”

Joel sacrificing his time and effort for your father was unfathomable to you. Sure, Joel was a great friend of your Dad’s, but he truly didn’t owe you two anything. It made you enamored with him even more.

As the day shifted into the evening, you sat by your Dad’s bed and waited for the antibiotics to kick in. His body needed rest, you knew that much because he slept more than he probably ever had in his lifetime.

He was sweating out a fever, so every so often you’d pat his head with a cold rag. He would mumble a quiet “thank you” and then return to snoring. As the sun sets, you welcome Sidney back for her night shift. She checked your Dad’s vitals, telling you his lungs are already sounding a bit better. You stretch and yawn, cracking every bone in your body while you do. You were stuck in the same position for so long, elbows on your knees, your chin propped up by your hands.

You had a long trip ahead of you, and you couldn’t lie, you were scared half to death. You did not want to come back and find your father dead. You were also terrified about going back outside of Jackson. You spent most of your last 20 years living in the wild and shitty QZ’s. You were always on edge out there, and then you found Jackson. Ever since then, life has been a little more hopeful. You were able to form relationships and have some simple enjoyment, after all this time.

Your Dad finally wakes up when you start stirring more. His one eye opens first which makes you crack a smile.

“Mornin’ Pops,” You joke, grabbing his warm hand, “That antibiotic should start working soon. You’ll be better in no time.”

“Yeah,” He croaks, “But I heard you’re going somewhere.”

You bite your lip, afraid to stress him out. You knew he would worry about you, he always did.

“Yeah, me and Joel are going to get more supplies. Nothing too drastic,” You lie, brushing your thumb over his scarred knuckles, “You trust Joel enough to take care of me?”

It was the first time he laughed in the last 24 hours, “Course he will. He knows how much you mean to me. If he fucks up, he will get a load of me, that’s for sure.”

His voice was reassuring to hear, especially since he’s joking with you.

“Okay, I believe you,” You mutter, “We leave tomorrow morning, so I need you to be good and get all the rest you can. I want you up and moving when I get back, you hear me?”

“Roger that, kiddo.”

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Your tone is sarcastic and Joel can tell. You did not expect to be stuck with Joel Miller alone for a week, especially outside the walls.

He clears his throat as he finishes packing up his horse.

“Mornin’,” He grumbles, patting his horse’s mane, “Let’s get you all set up. You’ll be takin’ your Dad’s horse, Ranger. He is already saddled up, just need to get your stuff on there.”

Luckily, you packed light. You brought a couple of changes of clothes, some food, some camping gear, and of course, your gun.

Joel helps you tie down your bag and ensures all the straps he just put on are tight enough for you. You just watch him, enjoying how just takes control of the situation. He had the father instinct, always making sure everything would be safe and secure for the girls he loved. Or liked. Whatever.

You thank him, grabbing onto the saddle and flinging yourself up onto the horse. Ranger was truly your favorite horse in all of Jackson. He was the best behaved and the biggest. His mane was long and black and he loved to be brushed. You spent a lot of evenings riding him for fun, just enjoying his company.

Joel gets on his horse, adjusting how he sits before he takes the reigns and guides you towards the main gates of Jackson.

“You still sure you’re ready for a run like this?”

He’s giving you a chance to back out. But this was now an obligation. If you didn’t do this, you would indebted to everyone. You would be the person to blame if someone’s loved one died. Not really, but you felt that guilt.

“Readier than I’ll ever be, Joel.”

“How is Ellie doing?”

You were burning to make conversation. You needed to rid your mind of all the anxiety surrounding your own life. Joel was too quiet, it made you feel queasy. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts. You were about 20 miles outside of Jackson, the sun was coming up through the foliage.

He inhales sharply, “She’s a teenage girl. She’s grumpy.”

You grip onto the reigns of your horse, your body swaying back and forth with the trot.

“I remember being that young and being constantly annoyed by my Dad’s nagging,” You chuckle, remembering the days of angst, “Are you annoying her, Joel?”

Joel scrunches his face at such allegations. If anything, Ellie was annoying him.

“Course I’m not! Just… want to make sure she’s doing good. Which she is. Everyone tells me ‘bout how helpful she is.”

You think back to the last interaction you had with Ellie. She had been helping out at the stables when you were in charge of feeding and cleaning the horses before you got the job at the Tipsy Bison. Ellie wanted to know everything you knew, pestering you with silly questions like what their names were and why they were named what they were.

“She’s very helpful,” You acknowledge, thinking about how enthusiastic she always was about learning, “You raised her right.”

He huffs, “Was hardly me. She’s just smart and raised herself.”

You did not quite understand the history between Joel and Ellie, but you knew Joel was not her biological father. You had no clue how they found each other or when. But you could see the love Joel had for Ellie. You remember him lighting up when he explained to you and your dad how she was the best shot amongst the recruits.

Joel will probably never indulge you in the specifics of his relationship with Ellie, simply because it’s complicated. He never felt the need to explain himself to anyone but Tommy.

“You had a hand in some of it, Joel. Give yourself a little credit.”

But Joel was never good at that. He was hard on himself, weary to accredit any of Ellie’s behavior to himself.

The rest of the ride was occupied with the sound of leaves rustling. Joel spots a fallen tree that he says would be a good eating spot. You agree, hopping down off your horse with ease. You tie his reins up on a nearby branch and start digging through your saddle bag for the apple you packed for yourself. You were sick with unease all day. With everything going on in your life, the last thing on your mind was hunger. Plus, you were alone with a man that you had to put all your trust in.

You pop a squat on the chipping bark and get out your pocket knife to start cutting the red fruit. Joel gets out a bag of jerky from his pack and finds a spot next to you. He looks over at you, perplexed at your food choice.

“Just some fruit?” Joel interrogates, instantly knowing your hunger cannot be satiated by apples. No one can be satisfied with only fruit.

Your stomach churns at your first bite, “Just not that hungry.”

That’s all the explanation he needs. You watch as he starts to munch on his bagged meat, cringing at the sound of his mouth. You try to block it out, but it’s eating away at your brain. You hated the sound of chewing, it was such a stupid pet peeve, but you couldn’t help yourself. Joel is oblivious, probably not even hearing how loud he’s being. You smack his arm out of instinct, something you did to your dad when he was being too obnoxious.

He looks down at you with furrowed brows and annoyed eyes.

“You’re eating too loud,” You say, wanting to smack yourself at how stupid it sounds out loud.

He looks away, completely flabbergasted at the reaction. “Eating too loud? Really?”

You feel embarrassed for letting your brain get the best of you. So you just cut more of your apple off and slowly crunch on it. You try your best not to hyper-fixate on your chewing. When you’re in a trance, lost in your thoughts, Joel nudges you back. He’s getting you back, now.

“Now you’re chewing too loud,” He jokes, popping another piece of his jerky in his mouth, “Should probably keep it down. So loud you may attract some infected.”

You can’t help but smile at his stupid rebuttal. You give him props for making you feel less foolish.

“Sorry,” you mumble, eating another slice intentionally loud, “Can’t help myself. They are just so crunchy.”

You hear him giggle, his smile easing your churning stomach.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll forgive you this one time.”

You knew the ride to this hospital would be long, but you didn’t realize how barren the landscape would be. You also didn’t realize how bad your ass would hurt. You and Joel finally pull off into some woods when the sun starts to set. Joel acts like he knows exactly how to navigate the woods, guiding his horse deeper and deeper. In between some large trees, you spot a lake.

“Wanna go swimming?” You question after hours of no conversation. He glances back at you with a sly smirk on his face. When you look to your right, you notice a small path. Joel clicks his tongue for his horse to follow it. You two trot through the leaves, before coming upon a small decrepted cabin.

“This is us,” He states as he halts his horse.

He had secretly always pictured taking you out here. He could not help but insert you into his small fantasies. Some nights he would imagine what it would be like to have you stick by his side forever. He always felt guilty afterward.

You look at the building in wonder, completely speechless. You assumed you would be camping on the forest floor, not in an intimate cabin by a lake. You swing your leg over and slide off your saddle. Joel starts to tie up his horse nearby and you follow suit. You continue to look at the cabin, curious as to who kept up with it. It looked well maintained, besides some cobwebs at the peak of the roof.

“Is this yours?”

He shakes his head, “No. Technically Tommy’s. He goes this way to get to another settlement about 50 miles south. He found this place on a whim and cleaned it up.”

You look around the area, seeing there’s even a fire pit right by the water. It had chairs and stones to outline the charred wood. You could not help but imagine what this place was before Tommy found it. How many fun nights were probably spent here by the original owner? If you had no one to go back to, you would just live here. But the more you think about that scenario, you think about how lonely you would probably get. Maybe if you had someone to stay with you.

You finally look back at Joel. He’s standing on the stone path with his eyes locked on you. You get self-conscious for a moment, realizing he probably noticed how entranced you were with the surroundings.

That’s exactly what he was thinking, too. How beautiful you stood in the shadows of the trees, your eyes curiously glancing around like a kid in a candy shop. You had him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it.

“You good if we stay here overnight? Get back on the road tomorrow?”

How could you ever say no to an offer like that?

You nod, swallowing back your insecurity, “Yeah, for sure.”

Joel could build a good fire. Watching him gather all the wood and place them into a perfect formation. As soon as he lights it, it builds and builds. When the warmth envelopes you, you start to finally feel at ease. Joel sits down with a stick, nudging the fire every so often.

He felt guilty. He felt like he was betraying your father, a man who was trusting him with his daughter. He should not be imagining how a little life in the woods would look like with you. He should not be picturing how beautiful you would look underneath him. He should not be having these devious thoughts about you. His eyes are trained on the flames as they build, trying to push those daydreams away.

When his sleeve lifts as he toys with the charred wood, you notice the watch on his wrist. It looks ancient, the face of it shattered. You don’t realize you’re staring at it until he snatches his hand away from your view.

“Sorry,” You retract, sitting further into the chair, “Your watch is broken.”

He places the stick next to his foot, finally out of his head for a moment, “Yeah, I’m aware.”

You were so stupid. You know not to pry further, knowing there’s probably a story and you don’t feel like you’re at a stage with Joel Miller to dive deeper. He notices how small you making yourself, and it makes him feel bad. He never wants to make you insecure.

“Your necklace,” He starts, trying to place your mind somewhere else. It was a feature on your body that he noticed ages ago, but he never tried to beg the question, so this seemed like a great time to move the subject along. “Is it a moon?”

You reach up to your throat, feeling for the necklace you never took off. It feels like he almost wants to see if you will spill your story first. He is bad at reading women, sometimes. Most of the time.

“Yeah, it was my sister’s.”

He feels stupid, instantaneously. As soon as those words fell from your lips, he put his face in his hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Your feelings towards what happened 20 years ago were drastically different than how you feel now. You could still feel the horror and the pain you felt, but it wasn’t so gut-wrenching anymore. It honestly doesn’t even feel like it happened to you.

You drop the crescent moon charm from your hands, “No, it’s okay. She died on outbreak day. She was a bit older than me, her name was Reagan.”

He looks up at you and just nods, taking in the information. You don’t know if it’s a gesture for you to continue to talk, but you take it as just that.

“Her and my mom were at one of her soccer games when all hell broke loose. From what I heard, she was bit by one of her teammates and when me and my Dad were packing up our things to get out of there, I grabbed some of her stuff. A necklace, a sweatshirt, and her favorite pair of sneakers. I don’t know why. But yeah, this necklace is the only thing that survived 20 years. Sweatshirt got too small, shoes got too torn up.”

You don’t even notice the tears pricking in your eyes until you blink. You don’t even remember what she looks like, her face is kind of jumbled in your memory. You remember her hair though, long and brown and super curly. Joel just listens, his eyes trained on your hands as you nervously rub them together. When you peer up at him, you see the mutual pain written on his face.

He thinks to his beautiful Sarah. His eyes fall to his broken watch. The pain is still very palpable.

“‘m glad we have somethin’ from our people. Somethin’ to remember them by, ya’ know?”

You scan his broken watch and nod timidly. “Yeah, something to remember them by.”

You stand up after eating some more food you packed, ensuring you’re somewhat nourished before you go to sleep. Joel stares at the fire, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He knows he has to sleep, but he knows you need it more. He’s willing to give up his hours for yours.

“You want me to do first watch?” You quiz, hoping to get the answer no. Instead, he just shrugs. You cross your arms, a cool shiver going down your back as you step away from the fire.

“I’ll start first,” He mumbles, grabbing his poking stick, “There’s a bed in there all ready for you. Get some rest, we got a long day tomorrow.”

You respond with a slight wag of your head, “Okay, goodnight, Joel.”

You turn on your heels and head towards the front door of the cabin. You creak the door open. It’s pitch black so you step back onto the small porch to grab the lantern Joel lit a while ago. You slowly creep through the one-room cabin, placing the lantern on the small table by the door. It lit up most of the room so you got a great look at the wooden framed bed, waiting for you to lay upon it.

You feel a pang of guilt making Joel sit outside to guard you as you slept. You knew you needed rest. You also knew it would start getting colder and colder and that fire would die eventually.

Joel could handle himself, after all. You would just have to push your worry aside. When you curl up onto the hard mattress, you think back to the last time you were left to trust another man to look after you as you slept. It was a traumatizing night, so instead of worrying yourself, you close your eyes and remind yourself that Joel is safe. Dad trusts Joel. Joel is a good man.

Sleep eventually takes over, your soft snores rattling off the wooden walls.

After a couple of hours, the shivering takes over Joel’s body, so he creeps into the cabin. The lantern is dimmer, slowly running out of fuel. He shakes his head, smiling to himself at your disregard for resources. He walks over to the small wood-burning oven, opening the door to it as quietly as he can. You don’t even stir. You’re a deep sleeper, he would remember.

He starts a fire with the old coals, warming up the small space. Once he stands up from his squat, he hisses at the crack of his knees. He glances over at you, making sure he did not wake you. Nothing.

You were a peaceful sleeper, your mouth slightly ajar. To Joel, you were always so beautiful. Not even just your looks, but your kind and reserved nature. You always gave him a delighted smile when he looked your way. You were dedicated to always being there for your father, which would always melt his cold heart. He would always watch you with a careful eye, praying that you would somehow get older or him, younger. He hated himself for admiring you so often, especially since he respected your father so much. But you were right there.

He sat himself in the old recliner chair near the door, peaking out the window every so often. He would always find himself training his eyes back on you, watching your chest rise and fall slowly.

It takes everything in him not to curl up next to you.

The second day starts off a bit rough.

When you wake up in the early morning hours, you take notice of a sleeping Joel in the corner of the room. You spring up, loudly rattling the bed frame. It sends Joel jumping out of his skin, his eyes flying open to look at you.

You are panting like you just ran a mile.

“Jesus Christ, girl,” He barks, his tone tired but also vicious, “Thought someone had you at gunpoint.”

“You were sleeping!”

“Shit, yeah I was, wasn’t I?” His tone is more relaxed, sort of annoyed. He rubs his eyes, glancing outside. Your horses were still there and it doesn’t seem like you guys have been ransacked.

You clench your fists, “You’re lucky we didn’t get shot in our sleep or something.”

He rolls his eyes, slowly rising from the chair he took over, “That’s a little dramatic, sweetheart. We are fine.”

After that comment, you did not want to talk to Joel Miller.

You also start to question if you can trust him. He should’ve woken you up to take charge of the watch, but instead, he ignorantly fell asleep and risked your life.

When you pack up to leave, he realizes how rattled you are. He wants to apologize, but he’s too stubborn to do so. You were being dramatic. But he shouldn’t have said that. He should’ve kept that comment to himself. He was never really good at holding his tongue, always saying the first thing on his mind.

When the sun sets on the second day, Joel promises you two should be in Salt Lake the next afternoon. The whole day pretty much consisted of you two bickering about state capitals. He swears the capital of Pennsylvania is Philadelphia.

“It’s not, it’s Harrisburg,” You would say.

You also talked about times before the Infection. He mentions his daughter, Sarah, telling you about how she used to play soccer and she loved going to the Texas State Fair. It makes your heart happy to hear him light up about her, but it makes you want to cry hearing a father talk about his dead child. You can’t imagine that type of pain, and you hope you never do. He doesn’t even know why he’s suddenly baring his soul to you, but he starts to feel like his walls are falling away and he’s comfortable around you.

He tells you about how he plays the guitar, which you lock onto quickly.

“You’ll have to show me how good you are,” You smile, imagining Joel Miller strumming along to some folksy song you request. He can only imagine what type of music you would want to hear from him.

“When we get home,” He mutters, “I'll give you a performance.”

“I cannot wait.”

The conversation with you was easy. You could get anything out of him, pretty much. You were a lot like your father, but softer. He enjoyed your company a bit more. Your laugh was infectious and you were a lot easier on the eyes, of course. When you two stop for a break, he watches as you look for four-leaf clovers on the forest floor. When you find one, you pick it up and bring it over to his hunched-down frame.

“My mom used to say they were for love and luck,” You explain, “Think you need it for both.”

He knew you were joking by the way you giggle and return to your spot on the ground. He just shakes his head and sticks the clover in his jacket pocket.

He was dreading being back in Salt Lake. He doesn’t want to relive that day when Ellie was practically ripped from him. It sent him spiraling just thinking about all the outcomes that could’ve transpired that day.

He contemplates telling you for a few brief seconds.

He wouldn’t have much to lose, especially now that everything is said and done. But then fear takes over and he wonders, would you judge him for it?

He imagines how you would react. How your nose would probably scrunch up, how your disposition towards him would soon contort into horror. You would probably call him a monster. You would probably never look at him the same way, with that beautiful smile and attentive gaze.

“You okay, Joel?”

You two were positioned on the edge of some woods off a dirt road. Joel didn’t want to attract anyone with fire, so you two decided you would just camp on the ground near the highway you would end up following to get into the city.

“‘M all good,” He practically whispers, “Just tired. You mind gettin’ first watch?”

You just silently nod, watching him rise from his spot and move over to the sleeping bags you two had set up when you arrived. You watch as he awkwardly wiggles his large frame into a small sack. It makes you giggle a bit. He positions himself with his back to you, his front facing into the woods. He can’t spend his time staring at you like he would like to, he needs to sleep.

You realize he has a leaf stuck on the back of his head. You couldn’t help yourself, it was going to bother you for as long as you were awake. You stand up and slowly creep up to him.

You squat down and pluck the leaf out of his thick curls. His head snatches back at you, knitting his brows together in confusion.

Secretly deep down, you just wanted to find a reason to touch him.

“Can I help you?”

You give him a shit-eating grin, “Yeah, you just got leaves in your hair. It was going to bother me if I didn’t get it out. You’re very, very welcome.”

He rolls his eyes, “Can I sleep now?”

“Don’t know, I’m already getting bored without you glaring at me.”

You were now on a mission to annoy him, he guesses.

Without thinking, he responds with a comment that would stick with you all night.

“Yeah, you like it when I look at you, don’t ya?”

The homestretch was only about another 20 miles. You and Joel had made good time, only taking about three days to get to the hospital. After the subtle flirting with Joel the night before, you got a little more ambitious with your advances.

Before you two took off to get to your destination, you asked Joel if you could change your clothes. You had mud all over your jeans and your shirt was reeking of body odor. The natural deodorants that were handmade in Jackson only did so much.

“Yeah, make it quick,” He orders, pointing to a more private area of the camp, “There’s some bushes over there.”

“I’m not getting dressed in a bush, Joel. Just look away,” You test, already shrugging off your flannel. He notices your bold move, instantly peeling his eyes away from your direction. This can not be happening to him right now.

“What the hell,” He murmurs, his hands propped up on his hips, “You’re doin’ this on purpose.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, “Doing what on purpose?”

“Testin’ me. Me and my patience.”

You throw your shirt over your head and grab one of your spare ones from your pack, “Well, if it’s a test, you’re passing with flying colors, Miller.”

He glances back at you without even really thinking, spotting you in your bra with a shirt covering your eyes. It’s almost like when you tell a child not to press a button, and it makes them want to do it even more.

He wanted to keep looking.

“Fuck,” He says under his breath, trying to push those types of thoughts out of his mind.

You shimmy off your pants, folding them as soon as you get them off your legs. You needed a shower so bad, you felt so filthy.

“You think we could stop back at the cabin on the way home? I want to bathe.”

Thinking about you naked and taking a bath made his dick hard.

“Yes,” He manages to say, “Hurry up, please!”

You grin at his frustration, “Fine, fine. I’m almost done.”

You and Joel trot along an abandoned highway, cars littering every lane. It was nothing new to you. You have seen plenty of cities in your lifetime. Each time was a bit different, but for the most part, they were all the same. Riddled with infected and bombed to shit.

You think back to when Tommy said Joel had been here before. Your mind starts to wonder, and being that you still had a couple of hours before you got to see the actual hospital, you decide to speak up and ask.

“When was the last time you were here?”

He thinks for a second. He was waiting for these questions.

“Over a year ago.”

You shake your head, “Was there a reason?”

You had no business prying into Joel’s life, but you felt like after spending days with him, there was some kinship. Maybe even a friendship.

“Ellie’s mom was a Firefly. They had a base camp out here,” He explains, but would he go further? Would he spill all the beans?

It’s technically not his story to tell. But then again, Ellie didn’t even have the truth, so it was a story only he knew.

You wait before responding, “Did you find her?”

“Who?”

“Ellie’s mom,” You press, glancing around some cars. You are trying to act like you didn’t care, but you could tell from the moment you entered the outskirts of the city, Joel was plagued with the weight of the atmosphere. His shoulders got heavier, his eyebrows further knitted together. He was tense.

“No, she’s dead. So I brought her home,” He says, half-bending the truth. He’s lying, but not really. Ellie’s mom was dead but that was never the reason they came out here. He just wants to say it, but his chest feels like a weight is pushing down, almost cracking his ribs. He swallowed the guilt.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

You didn’t have much else to say, letting the silence eat away at the prickle of your arm hairs as they stood up. You try to relax, but now that you are in the city, it feels real. You traveled all this way for medication so Jackson would not shun you. It sounded kind of stupid, coming all this way in hopes of a stocked Firefly hospital.

You also traveled all this way with Joel Miller. You managed to speak to him without tripping over every word and poking fun at him. You watched him sleep at night, looking so peaceful in the woods surrounding him. You try to think about the last time you saw him smile. You saw him differently, now. He came all this way to help you and your dad. He is risking a lot, disregarding his duties back home, just so he can be with you and protect you.

You ponder if things will be different when you get home. Maybe he would talk to you more when he came to the Tipsy Bison. Maybe he would wave back at you when you saw him around town.

You secretly hoped being next to him for so long would change your relationship with him.

Joel starts to ride next to you, studying your face as you stare forward.

“What are you thinkin’ bout so hard over there?” He poses, watching your face twist when he speaks up.

You lick your lips, “Thinking about what it’s gonna be like when I get home.”

“What do ya’ mean?”

You halt your horse to look over at him. He does the same.

“We came all this way and I am scared when we get back, you won’t want to talk to me anymore.”

He shakes his head, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, “Kiddo, your dad’s my patrol partner. ‘Course, I’ll still talk to you. You’re always around.”

The nickname makes you cringe. You don’t want to be a kid to him.

“Right, of course.”

When you get to the edge of the city, Joel starts explaining the game plan. How you will get to the hospital, do your sweep as quick as you can, and don’t meander around. He also explains how the exit plan is to drop everything, no matter what, and return to the horses. You see someone? Run.

You want to say you know how to handle yourself, but you resist and just nod in understanding.

To your surprise, you two do not run into any hoards. You turn a corner and spot a couple of infected twitching near an old school, and you two carefully back up and go up another block to avoid them altogether. You two don’t say anything to each other as you spot the hospital in the distance. Joel just points forward, having you trot at his side.

You pull out your gun when you start to hear some clicking nearby. Joel gestures to you to be quiet and continues to the front of the hospital. You two ride your horses to the ambulance drop-off, parking them there. When you jump down, you start to grab your pack so you can fill it with whatever supplies you find. Joel does the same, throwing his leather backpack over his shoulder. You check the magazine of your gun and take off the safety.

“Okay, we stay close to each other,” He explains in a hushed tone, “Grab whatever you think we need.”

You wiggle your head in agreement. He raises his rifle as you two enter the side door. The hospital is quiet besides the wind blowing through some shattered windows. You click on your flashlight that is attached to your backpack, making sure it’s pointed forward. The main corridor leads you down to some triage rooms and nurse's stations. Joel gestures to you to check out some triage rooms. You find some bandages and some tongue presses. You grab the entire box of bandages and stuff them in your bag. When you return to the hall, Joel is stuffing some of his finds in his pack.

“No meds yet,” He grumbles. You two press forward, keeping your steps silent. You find some lab rooms off the main hallway and you two scope out each room carefully, your guns still drawn and at the ready. You find more items; some gloves, masks, and some scissors. You pick them up, stuffing them in your back.

You hear movement from behind you and quickly spin. It’s just Joel, holding a couple of vials of medication. You rush towards him, using your light to see what the vials read.

levofloxacin

amoxicillin

“Jackpot,” You murmur, “Any more?”

He grabs a baggie sitting on a table nearby, “Not that I saw.”

You continue searching, not finding much of anything in the drawers. A lot of the stuff is picked through.

You point to a central staircase, “Wanna go up?”

“Yeah, right behind you.”

Joel was reeling, spotting some areas where blood was splattered across the walls as he walked through the hospital. It was terrifying to put himself back in this exact spot. It felt like a fever dream. Now he had you with him, another person he cared too much about to admit to anybody, let alone himself. He cared about you in a whole different way than he cared about Ellie.

You trail up the stairs, finding some old labs and nurse's stations. All were picked through. You couldn’t help but notice the blood all over the floor in some areas. You try to figure out what could have transpired here, but you don’t even try to beg the question to Joel. With the look on his face, you are afraid to say much of anything.

Something bad happened here and he was a witness to it.

It made you want to hurry up and spare his feelings. Instead of taking careful and methodical steps, you run room to room searching drawers and counters for anything of value. You find some alcohol swabs, safety pins, and some wrist splints. When you get to the last room in the hallway you’re in, you hit the jackpot. It’s a cabinet with some vials.

You start to quietly read them off to Joel who’s standing on the threshold of the room.

“Grab them all,” He says, pulling his pack off his shoulder so you can put some into his, “We can find use for ‘em.”

You also find some sutures and unopened syringes. You wish you could get down on your knees and thank whatever god is up there for blessing you with everything. You don’t believe in that though, so instead you excitingly grab Joel’s arm and shake it.

“Let’s get this all home,” You smile, pressing your fingers harder into his bicep, “Maybe celebrate with something strong from the bar.”

Then you hear it.

Click. Click. Click.

Joel grabs your arm back, shoving you behind him. He slings his pack over his shoulder and you do the same. You never had many issues with killing infected, but you did not know what you were dealing with. It was dark and all too quiet for too long. Joel creeps forward, his gun drawn forward to peek out the door. When you do the same, he tucks you back behind him.

Lining the hallway is about 3 clickers. Your stomach drops as they slowly make their way to the sounds you two made seconds ago. Joel glances back at you, his face very serious and stern.

You can read the look on his face and being that you dealt with these fuckers before, you know that you need to be silent. He looks back down the hall, spotting an exit in a staircase that’s slightly blocked by one of the clickers. He waves you along as he slowly tiptoes down the hallway. You get closer and closer to the first clicker and your gun is trained right at them as you keep your distance. You can tell by the clothing that it was a woman at one time, the infection growing out of every crevice of her body.

She clicks and clicks, but does not attack you. You and Joel continue, not making a sound as you shuffle past the next one. But once you get close to the one closest to the door, something snaps and it’s like they all realize exactly all at once. One squeals and the others follow suit. Joel yells for you to run, but you don’t budge, emptying your gun into the closest one. It crumbles to the ground. With that one down, Joel grips your wrist tightly and flings you towards the door. You two rush out as Joel lights up the hallway with gunfire.

You now know that you’re attracting every infected in a mile radius so time is of the essence. You practically fall down the stairs trying to get to the bottom. Joel does not like how fast you moving, pressing you to run faster. You two sprint down the hallway as two runners come full speed at you from an opposing hallway. You try to shoot but your gun is empty. You scream for Joel to do something and he puts them down expertly. He’s spot on even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins. You find the door you came in from and quickly make your way to Ranger. He seems sort of spooked so you try to gingerly climb up him, grabbing his reigns from the pole you tied him to. Joel is quick to mount his horse. He pulls his horse back, guiding it to head back the way you guys came.

You follow suit, hearing stirring from all around you as your hair whips in the wind. You are not worrying about the noise you two are making now, galloping down the once-busy streets of Salt Lake City.

“Don’t stop til’ I say so!” Joel calls out. You can hardly hear with your heartbeat in your ears and the wind against your ear drum.

You get to the edge of the city after about 20 minutes of dodging left-behind cars and random barriers. You get to the point where the foliage takes over and the infected taper off. You don’t realize it until you start slowing down and your heart gets back to its normal pace, you’re freezing.

You yell out for Joel, who’s still going quite fast. He halts completely, letting you catch up with his step.

“We have to stop, I’m freezing.”

You weren’t wearing all your layers and you knew it would be detrimental if you didn’t stop to wrap up before you two continued your journey. Joel nods, trotting off the main part of the road into some woods.

When you get off your horse, you can feel Joel’s eyes lock onto your vibrating body.

“Jesus, girl,” He dismounts, wrapping his reigns around a nearby branch, “The wind do you that much damage?”

You can’t help but laugh as you rifle through your pack to find your extra layers. You can remember packing two thermals, but with the way you’re shaking, you can’t even grip onto the clothes to move them around to search. You don’t even realize Joel has come to your side, you only notice when he nudges your side with his three fingers. You move out of his way so he can look, but you can’t help but feel the warmth his gentle touch gives you on your hip.

He pulls out a thermal, handing it out to you.

“Just put it over your other long sleeve,” He instructs, digging for another layer for you. You take his advice and throw it over your head. When your head pops through the neck hole, you spot him smirking at you.

“If you don’t warm up soon, I may have to share my body heat so we can get back on the road,” Joel jokes, watching you pull your hair out of the back of your long sleeve. You didn’t hate the sound of that, truthfully.

“Guess I will try my best not to warm up then.”

He shakes his head, grabbing onto your other thermal, “You can’t say stuff like that to me, darling.”

“Why not?”

Joel has slipped up a couple of times already, he wasn’t planning on giving in. But the teasing was fun and light-hearted. He knew in his heart it was not going to turn into anything.

Right?

“Because I don’t think it’s a very good idea for us to talk like that to one another,” He explains, stepping back as you add the other shirt onto your already warming body, “May lead us somewhere we can’t come back from.”

You swallow, “Maybe I’d like that.”

It takes you a day and a half to get back to the cabin. Joel promised that you two could spend a whole day there if need be. You two were physically and mentally exhausted. The horses needed rest too, you could tell Ranger was beat.

When you arrive on the property, Joel makes sure to scope out a radius before you two settle in. Ever since the sly passes you made at him, he’s been more quiet. You can tell he’s deep in thought. Maybe it wasn’t about you, but he had something on his mind.

You use the fire stove to warm up some water from the lake to give yourself a quick “bath”. You just used an old rag and some bar soap to scrub your limbs, trying to get off all the caked-on dirt. Joel stayed outside by the fire, cooking up some squirrels he was able to trap. You stood in your undergarments, lathering your skin, watching him from the window as he poked at the fire.

You felt a bit better once you were clean. The growl in your stomach was dull and kind of painful. You needed to eat, so you got your dirty clothes back on and headed outside to prop yourself up next to Joel.

When you open the cabin door, his head snaps over to you.

“Howdy, cowboy,” You gleam, walking down to the stump next to him. You couldn’t help but flirt now. It was funny to watch him squirm, the glint in his eyes not hard to notice.

“You all clean?”

You nod, giving him a cheeky smile. “Yeah, now you go get yourself all cleaned up.”

He grabs his stick poker, “Don’t got any soap.”

“Use mine.”

Joel stops his motion immediately to train his eyes back on you. “You want me to smell like you?”

“Well, I smell delicious, so why not?”

He scans your body with his eyes, “Cause if we get home and your Dad smells your soap on me, he’ll put it bullet between my eyes.”

You know he’s being dramatic, finding any excuse to opt out of using the soap you just used on your body.

“So, what you’re saying is,” You clear your throat before continuing, “If my dad wasn’t your friend, you’d lather yourself with my soap?”

He contemplates for a moment, “Yeah, and other things.”

Your heart stops beating for a second. Joel can not help but smirk at your reaction. He was playing with fire, literally and figuratively. The tension between you two was so heavy, that you do not think you could even take a deep breath in.

He stands up from his spot next to you. “Why don’t ya eat, sweet thing? I have to clean myself up, I guess.”

Joel can not do this.

You were his friend’s daughter. Sure you were grown, beautiful, strong-willed, and everything he could want and more but he could not take advantage of you. The only way he felt this way right now was because tensions were so high back in Salt Lake. You two have spent a lot of time together, the hormones… what the fuck is he thinking?

You sit by the fire, your stomach doing back flips as you think about Joel in the cabin, by himself, practically half naked.

Why were you doing this to yourself?

Your heart is racing faster than it ever has. No clicker, no stranger, nothing has made you this nervous. Your hand reaches for the door handle, but before you can turn it, Joel rips open the door.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

You stand there, dumbfounded. “I-I don’t know.”

He’s standing over you, his chest rising faster the more you keep your eyes trained on him. He has a green flannel on, the top couple of buttons undone. You lift your hand to touch the skin peeking through, but he stops your movements before you can make contact. You note the scent of wood burning in the cabin and it’s a lot warmer than you left it. Joel must have started the stove again.

“We can’t.”

You shake your head, “No, we can’t, can we?”

You two know better. You know better. You know better.

You are breathing in each other’s spaces. You don’t even want to look him in the eyes. His arm snakes around your midsection, pulling you forward into the cabin. At that moment, you knew that you two didn’t know any better.

It’s almost like you two silently made the decision.

“We can’t tell anyone about this, sweet girl,” He whispers, his hands still firmly on your back. You could not resist this temptation anymore. He was right in front of you, wanting you just as badly as you wanted him.

Your eyes glance up at his dark sultry gaze, “It’s our little secret.”

His hand reaches up, gracing your chin with his touch. When he dips down to meet your height, you finally get bold and extend your hand up and around his neck. Your lips connect and you feel like a million little butterflies explode in your stomach. You had never desired a kiss from anyone as much as you did with Joel.

He’s eager and impatient, though. He’s not as soft as you imagined for a man who hardly spoke. He just wants to feel you everywhere, all at once. His mouth melts into yours, his tongue exploring every inch of yours. He’s moving you around the room, stumbling over furniture and shoes as he backs you into the large wooden bed frame.

“So fuckin’ perfect,” He mumbles into your lips as soon as he lifts you up onto the mattress. It catches you by surprise, mainly because you never expected him to manhandle you in this way. He’s hungry for every inch of you. After all these months of secretly pining for him and him not giving you any positive response, you never anticipated something like this happening. Especially at a time like this.

“Joel,” You whine, pulling him down on top of you as you fall back into the flannel blankets, “I need you everywhere.”

He grins peppering kisses down your neck, “Don’t worry, I will treat you so fuckin’ good. Been wantin’ you for so long.”

It was so filthy and hot. Your dad’s patrol partner, his best friend. Keen to make you feel good? And wanting it for a while? You must be imagining his words because you can’t even comprehend the situation.

But it’s true. Joel’s secretly been watching you when you’re not looking. When you sling drinks on Friday nights, he watches you from a booth in the corner. Tommy’s caught him a couple of times, smacking him and reminding him that you were off limits. When you came to his house with extra pot pie or soup, he would watch you walk away from his house from his living room window.

This taboo yearning kept him up at night. But now, he has you alone and he needs a taste.

He pulls back to look at your face, “Are you sure you want me?”

You can’t help but giggle a bit.

“Joel, I’ve been wanting you for longer than I would like to admit,” You purse your lips as you bring your hand up to trace his collarbone, “Think about you all the time.”

It was the truth. Your mind was taken up but all his little sly comments. The way he would drop anything to help you or your dad. His beautiful brown eyes didn’t help one bit either.

“My god, girl…Gonna have me cumming in my jeans like a teenager.”

He returns to laying kisses all along your body. It started with wet kisses down your neck, only for it to trail right where your shirt begins, right below your collarbones. You push him back for a moment, taking your shirt off over your head. He watched you carefully, ensuring there was no hesitancy with your actions. He wanted to be absolutely positive that this is what you wanted.

As soon as you reach for the clasp of your bra, Joel grabs your arms away.

“Let me,” He mumbles, letting his fingers trace along the seam of the black fabric before using his right hand to undo the back. With him this close to you again, you inhale sharply, catching the scent of your soap.

“See you took up my offer,” You tease, letting your bra fall down your shoulders, “Did you get clean just for this, Miller?”

He catches a glimpse of you under the bra and his mind goes blank. You notice his change in disposition and decide it’s best to discard every other article of clothing completely. You struggle to get your jeans off, so he helps by practically ripping them off your legs. He can’t help but spot the soak undies attached to your jeans. When you are bare under him, he gawks at you for a moment.

“A beautiful woman like you,” He shakes his head, biting his lip. He unbuckles his pants before he stands and shoves them down his legs. While he’s making an effort to get as naked as you, you start unbuttoning his flannel. He watches you take your time, thumbing each button slowly. He tilts your head back up, his eyes leering at you for a moment. “And you want someone like me?”

You know he’s probably in his own head, so you feel the need to prove to him, that yes this is what I want.

You grab onto his neck and pull him back down into a passionate kiss. When you notice him give in, you use all your might to push him sideways and onto his back next to you. You mount his lap immediately, holding him down with your body weight. Your soaked slit trudges over his large hard-on while you dip your head to capture his lips. You feel his hands trail up the sides of your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He finds your boobs, palming them with his warm calloused hands. You were extra sensitive so as soon as his fingers find your nipples, you’re moaning into his mouth.

When your hips jet forward, his tip slides between your pussy lips. The sensation sends him into overdrive, his grip on your waist getting tighter. He’s so fucking big.

“No foreplay, you just wanna grind your pussy right onto my cock?” His question sends shockwaves through your body and you raise your hips up off his crotch. You kneel over him, anticipating to rotate your pelvis back onto him, but he has other ideas.

Because Joel has been thinking about what you taste like for too long. He can’t just fuck you. He lays back, all the while, dragging you up to his chest so your pussy is hovering over his pursed lips.

“Joel, what are you doing?”

You feel his hot breath huff onto your slick center, “I’m gonna devour this beautiful pussy, first. Need to get you warmed up.”

Without any warning, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pushes your center closer to his outstretched tongue. You gasp when he starts to run his tongue up and down your slit. You can’t help but settle around his face, your knees feeling like they may already give out.

You’ve never sat on someone’s face and watched them eat you out like a starved man. But Joel is precise with his motions, his mouth wrapping around your clit. When he starts to suck, the suction noise makes you whimper and shake. You have only ever cum by your own hand, so when the familiar heat rises in your stomach, you know instantly this is going to be the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

Joel is a very easy man to please. He thoroughly enjoys watching women crumble above him, their orgasms surging through their bodies while his tongue is pressed into them. But with you, he wants to drudge it out of you over and over again. You’re so magnetic on top of him, your head thrown back in pleasure. Your hands rest on your shoulders as you grind down on him, your peak teetering the edge. He shimmies his hand in between your thighs and begins to use his fingers in you, just to drive you crazier. He’s fucking up into you with his pointer and middle fingers, managing to latch onto your clit while he does.

When you tumble into bliss, Joel moans into you, egging on your spasms. You lurch forward, dragging your center off his drenched lips. Your legs are limp as you try to crawl up the bed. Joel rolls over, creeping up the bed with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up onto some of the pillows.

“Do you need a break?” He asks, his hands feeling up your bare, still kind of shaking, thighs. You shake your head “yes” and breathe out loudly. Your body is covered in a light sheen, the sweat pooling around your hairline. Joel lets you take a moment, making sure you are completely ready for him.

When you finally meet his eyes, your stomach fills with butterflies. He’s admiring you from his position, his eyes not finding yours until he’s done checking out your bare chest. You giggle, tugging on his wrists. He takes up your advances, positioning himself above you. He’s caging you in with his tanned strong arms, only allowing you to really move your upper body. You tangle your hands through his messy dark peppered curls, which makes him sigh. He secretly loved it when women felt through his hair.

“Fuck me,” He groans as he reaches down between you, grabbing ahold of his hard member. You watch as he drags it through your heat, gathering all your wetness before teasing your entrance.

“Joel, please.”

He smirks, pushing in just his tip, “Please what, baby girl? You want me to give you all of it?”

You are already overstimulated after your last orgasm and you are a bit nervous to imagine what all of it is. You nod, though, because the stretch is already so delicious.

“Please, Joel, please. I need it,” You whine, knowing how desperate you sound. It’s music to Joel’s ears.

“Shh, baby,” He eases in further, “I told you I’m gonna treat you real good. Gonna treat this pussy, so fuckin’ good.”

When he’s fully sheathed in you, your nails are digging into his shoulders. When he eases back to pull out some to ensure you can take it, you’re a moaning mess. It only eggs him on, feeling how slick you are and how tight you are around him.

“That’s right baby, take all of me,” He says as he lifts himself off you. You have nothing to grip onto now, except the sheets that line the queen-sized bed. Joel wants to watch himself slip out of you and go back into you with ease. You love the friction, but you know you need more.

You don’t know how, but it’s like he reads your mind. He starts to increase his pace, holding onto the back of your thighs as he drills into you. The curvature of his dick hits exactly where no man could ever reach.

“Oh my god, fuck Joel! Fuck!”

Your words only encourage him to go harder and faster.

“Keep screamin’ my name, baby doll.”

The sweat is dripping down his face with how much effort he’s putting into fucking you. You’re floored at how quickly your orgasm builds again, the sounds of him plowing into you alone sends you into overdrive.

As soon as you start to vibrate under him, Joel takes that as a great time to start thumbing at your clit. You feel every one of your nerve endings burning with such rapture, that you can’t even say anything. You’re just howling, no coherent words even coming out. Your vision goes white.

The scene is something out of the old pornos Joel used to watch. You’re writhing under him, the orgasm practically sending you cross-eyed. You reach up to anchor yourself down and the only thing you can find to grab is Joel’s forearm.

“Yes, Joel!”

His hips continue to snap into yours as you squeeze his cock with your gyrating hips. He’s fucking you through it, watching your face contort. Your grip on his arm hurts, but he does not care. It’s unbelievably hot to watch the girl he has adored from afar cumming around him. Over and over.

The scene is enough to have him chasing down his own high. The feeling of your cunt gripping onto him so tight, while his name is chanted from your lips, the cum practically shoots out of him before he has time to grab his shaft and pull out. He does not empty himself in you though, quickly prying himself out of your weeping hole and spilling out the rest onto your stomach.

“Shit.”

You don’t even realize what happened, not caring about really anything except for how wonderful and high you feel. Joel tumbles onto his side, half of his body resting on yours. His mouth is close to your ear so he whispers it to you, his voice shaky.

“I came inside you.”

You lick your lips, trying to regain some saliva in your mouth, “I do not care, Joel.”

He does not prefer that answer, but he accepts it for the time being. You could not feel your face at the moment, you did not have time to worry yourself over Joel cumming inside you. It was not the first time someone did that.

Joel rolls off the bed, his legs feeling wobbly with his first steps. He’s still half hard and stumbling over to the bowl of water he just used to clean off himself. He grabs a clean rag and soaks it in the soapy water. The least he could do was clean up his mess.

You watch him trudge over to you, the cum still pooled on your stomach and a bit in your belly button.

Joel places the warm towel on your lower tummy, wiping up his mess.

“Thanks,” You manage to say, your post-orgasm haze wearing off a bit. Now you’re just cold and exhausted. You shiver as soon as he removes the towel from your buzzing body. He notes it immediately and grabs the blanket that had been kicked to the floor. He lays it over you, making sure your full nude body is covered by the chilly air.

“I need to go take a leak, I’ll be right back.”

You try to stay awake. But as soon as he gets some clothes on and heads outside to relieve himself, you’re lulled to sleep by the sounds of the rustling woods that surround the cabin.

When you slowly open your eyes, you instantly notice how dry your mouth is. The itchy fabric of the blanket is tickling your bare limbs as you shift. Joel’s not beside you.

You sit up, glancing around the cabin. His stuff is still here, but he is not. You keep the scratchy blanket wrapped around you as you plant your bare feet on the wooden floor. As soon as you take your first step forward towards the front door, it slowly swings open.

Joel stands there, fully clothed, cheeks reddened from the cold outdoors.

“Mornin’,” He says with a sleepy voice, “Got up early to get the horses fed and saddled up.”

All you remember is him going to pee outside last night, right before you fell asleep. “Did you ever come to bed last night?”

“Yeah, only got a couple of hours of sleep. You took up most of the bed.”

You clear your throat, becoming hyper-aware suddenly that you are very naked under the blanket. Joel tries not to notice your natural sensuality when you wake up. Sleepy eyes, swollen lips, slightly tangled hair. Even if last night never happened, he would be completely enamored by you.

“Oh, okay,” You mutter, trying to act natural about the fact that you slept with Joel fucking Miller last night. “We all set then?”

He shuts the front door, cutting off any more cold from slipping in. You watch him slowly start to invade your space. He feels pulled towards you, the gravity overcoming every sense he has. He needs to be close to you, touching you, feeling you.

“Yeah, we are all set.”

Chills run down your spine when his cold hand reaches out and grazes your cheek. You flick your eyelashes towards him, not knowing what to say next. He dips down to your height, kissing your lips carefully. He is nervous you will back away from him, but you don’t. You lean forward into him, the weight of your entire body pressing into him.

He is the first to pull away, but you swear you could be latched onto him forever. His big brown eyes are lasered in on your eager lips, but in the back of his mind, he knows that you two need to get back home soon. He promised Tommy four days, nothing more. And you needed to get home to your Dad. Fuck. Your Dad. His fuckin’ friend.

“We have to get home,” Is all he says.

And then he’s gone. It’s like he blipped out of the room. You blink and the door slams and you are alone again.

You stumble out of the cabin with your backpack on, your eyes adjusting to the sunshine between the falling away leaves. Winter creeps in so quickly in Wyoming, you think to yourself.

Joel is already posted up on his horse, waiting for you to hurry along and join him. You pet Ranger for a moment before you hop up onto his back. He can’t help but realize how perfect you seemed in the sunlight. Your face hasn’t aged with time like his. It makes sense because you’re so much younger than him. You’ve lived a very full and traumatic life, sure, but you still had a lot more energy to live. He couldn’t picture that you’d want to spend the rest of it with an older guy with maybe 20 more years left in him if you’re lucky.

The thoughts start to eat away at him as you two make your way through the forest.

You assume he’s just tired from not getting a lot of sleep, so you just keep your lips sealed until you make it to the main trail back home.

“So, when we get home,” You break the quietness with your open-ended statement. Joel doesn’t know what you’re insinuating, so he just keeps his head forward. “What happens, then?”

He pulls back his horse's reins to position himself looking directly at you.

“What do you mean?”

You look at him suspiciously, “Do we tell people?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Joel thinks.

“Tell them what?”

He has to be messing, right? You think.

But no, he’s deadly serious.

“About us,” You remark as Ranger trots a bit closer to Joel. He shakes his head and your heart sinks. He can’t do this, not after you two slept together.

“There is no us,” He grumbles, unable to look you in the eyes anymore, “We can’t do that. You’re too young.”

If you weren’t on a horse, you would’ve already smacked him. “What the hell, Joel? What if you get in my pants and make me feel special and now we are nothing? Because I’m a little bit younger than you?”

“No, it’s not like that-”

“Well, it seems like it is like that,” You bite the inside of your cheeks, holding back every instinct to burst into tears, “Fuckin’ asshole. I should’ve known better.”

When the walls of Jackson come into your line of sight, you could cry with excitement. Your hands were shaking, not only from the cold but the nerves. You had been silent the entire ride back. Your only desire was to get home to your Dad and ignore Joel Miller for the rest of your life.

You can only hope and pray that your father is on the mend. To keep on track and not let panic take over, you’ve tried to put your mind on other things this whole trip. Most of those things you wish you’d forgotten, already.

The doors open when you two get close. When the crack is big enough to see through, you spot some familiar faces waiting for you. Tommy, Maria, and even your father. He’s standing up straight, wrapped in layers of jackets and blankets. You tap Ranger with your foot, getting him to speed up. When you reach about 30 feet away, you practically fall off him to get your arms around your father.

A sense of relief floods your body. A tidal wave of happiness and solace. He’s okay. He’s alive.

When his scent reaches your nose, it triggers your tear ducts. After years of never having to really worry about him, knowing he can handle himself, you have felt this constant state of uneasiness the last week.

“My baby is back,” He grumbles into your hair, his arms locking around you, “I knew I could trust that Joel.”

You don’t have time to feel guilt over your actions, you’re just so happy he’s upright. You also don’t want to hear his God-forsaken name from your own Dad. When you pull back to inspect his face, you note the tiredness in his eyes. He looks better, but not his normal. You grab each end of the blanket that’s slowly slipping off his shoulders and bundle him tighter.

“Let’s get you back in the warm, how ‘bout it?”

You glance back at Joel who just nods, knowingly. You remember that you still have your backpack on, so before you stroll away, you shimmy out of it. Tommy watches you carefully as you hand it off to Joel.

“Get those meds to the infirmary,” You whisper to no one in particular. Joel studies your face, waiting for you to say something else. You do not. As he grabs your pack, you feel like Maria and Tommy are gawking at you two. Like they know something was left unsaid.

You two move differently around each other. When you shift one direction, Joel follows suit.

Joel feels like every eye in Jackson is on him. Tommy’s being the most piercing, watching him like a hawk as he grabs his horse and guides him towards the stables. While you stroll away with Maria and your father, Joel and Tommy bring the horses and supplies to the stables.

As you walk, you listen to Maria explain your father’s steady recovery. She mentions how Ellie has been keeping a careful eye on him. After she heard you and Joel were going to be gone together, she asked Maria if she could help him somehow. Once your dad got well enough to walk, she got him settled in your house. She’d go over there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, just to help. It makes your heart swell when you hear your dad say how kind and generous she was, just like you.

Joel starts to unpack your bags from your horse first when he gets the horses parked.

“Somethin’ happen out there?” Tommy presses, noticing how odd you and Joel moved in front of him, “With her?”

“No, nothin’,” He lies, placing your bags on a table near Ranger. When he lifted the first duffle bag, he got a whiff of you and it made his stomach sink. “We just had a rough spot in the hospital. Clickers and shit. Nothin’ too crazy-”

“Joel, I know when you’re lyin’ to me,” His eyes are shooting daggers now. Joel was too old to be pestered by his little brother. He groans in annoyance but Tommy does not give up, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do nothin’, Tommy.”

“Bullshit,” He grumbles, grabbing one of your bags, “Want me to ask her?”

“You won’t get anythin’ out of her. She’s mad at me, okay? She is pissed I won’t…”

He feels humiliated, his stomach twisting into knots. He would never intentionally hurt you. He just put his foot in his mouth when he realized how much your actions would change everything for him. He could not just be someone you slept with. He could not just leave it.

“You won’t what, Joel?”

He bites his lip, not wanting to say it out loud.

“I won’t let her ruin her life for me.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrow, not completely understanding what he’s droning on about.

“What?”

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” Joel wasn’t anticipating a shake-down when he got home. You two really didn’t help with those looks splattered across your faces when you rolled into Jackson.

“You slept with her, didn’t you?”

Joel shakes his head, peeling his eyes away from Tommy. Joel knew nothing could get past him, so he is practically surrendering. Tommy knew then.

“You dumbass,” He whispers, getting closer to Joel, “You slept with her when her daddy is your patrol partner? After I told you to stay away?”

Joel clenches his teeth, “I don’t need this right now. I’m gettin’ these meds to the infirmary and then I’m takin’ her stuff to her.”

“Joel-”

“Just fuckin’ drop it, Tommy. I ain’t doin’ this.”

Your Dad has a nice setup, thanks to Ellie. She has transformed the downstairs guest room into a wonderful stay, with tons of pillows and bedside service. When you get inside the house, Ellie is there. She stands in the corner of the living room, timidly, as you guide your dad back to his warm bed. Maria and her wait for you to handle getting him back to his bedroom. Even though his recovery has been a steady incline, he’s very weak and exhausted all the time. It’s his body’s reaction to fighting a rough illness, but he made sure to reassure you that Sidney told him it’ll be a couple of weeks before he’s 100% back to normal.

You get him back in bed, his eyes already drooping to find slumber again. You manage to get his shoes off and help him under his covers. Once his head hits the pillow, you stand by the bed for a minute to ensure he’s actually sleeping. You slip out of the room, and the sudden rush of comfort of being home takes over your senses. To hear the crackling of the fireplace, and the smell of your homemade candles. While you enjoyed every moment spent with Joel, there’s nothing like home.

For a second there, you thought you had that same feeling being next to him in bed. But maybe you were wrong.

You walk out to where Maria and Ellie stand. They are mumbling to each other while you kick off your boots by the door.

“Hey, Ellie,” You catch her attention, her freckled face down turning with concern. You smile, trying to ease her, “Thank you for all you’ve done here. I am glad he had someone like you looking after him.”

She nods, her lips twitching, “It’s no problem at all. I know how much you two mean to Joel and I just wanted to do what I could.”

Hearing his name sinks your heart, “We owe ya one.”

Because you did. No matter what would eventually transpire between you and Joel, you owe him your father’s life. His idea saved him. With how sick he was, Joel’s quick plan was enough to bring him home. Then for Ellie to spend her days looking after him while you two were gone? You were forever indebted to them. Sadly.

“Well, we should leave you to get settled. Let us know if you need anything at all,” Maria gestures to Ellie towards the front door. Their footsteps trail around you, heading to your front door. Before Ellie can reach for the handle, there’s a knock. You nod your head, letting her know it’s okay to open it.

Joel stands there, your bags in his hands.

You honestly just left your belongings for him to deal with. Joel looks down at Ellie, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. She’s not as impressed, initially.

“Hey kiddo,” Joel acknowledges, before spotting Maria, “Mrs. Miller.”

“We were just heading out,” Maria says, pushing the door wider so she and Ellie can slip by his large frame, “Give the girl her things and let her settle back into her life, huh?”

Joel was already annoyed at the narrowed eyes and judgemental jabs. It’s like everyone somehow knew he fucked up.

You two watch Maria and Ellie leave, their breaths forming clouds in the cold sharp air. Jackson’s weather changed overnight, you think, remembering how it was more tolerable before you left.

“Can I come in?” Joel ponders, still holding your backpack and duffle.

It was cold and while you wanted to slam the door on him, you know you can’t. You move away from the threshold, gesturing for him to come in. His footfalls are heavy and drawn out. You shut the door, waving him towards the living room so your voices don’t carry down the hallway to your father’s newly set up bedroom.

He places your bags on the couch before he stretches his shoulders in discomfort. Your stuff was not that heavy, but Joel could not help but try to draw your attention. He glances around your living room, taking in some of the artwork and photos that line the walls. Some are old photos of you and your father, in which you don’t really resemble him at all.

“Back to how things were, huh?” You remark, bitterly. You wanted to attack him with every mean thing plaguing your mind, but you don’t. You were tired from all the travels but you were also tired of the idea of fighting for someone who does not care to fight for you back. You had done that for years with pointless boys.

The whole walk to your house, Joel’s thoughts were moving a million miles a minute. He did not want you to live your life resenting him. He cared for you deeply, but he did not want you to miss out on all the wonders of life. Joel could not give you kids. He could not give you 40 more years of happiness. He would be an elderly man before you could even reach menopause. He does not want you to regret things when you’re old and gray.

“I don’t want that. You know damn well I don’t want that.”

You could scream. But you stay even, not giving in to the temptation to just rip him a new one.

“I don’t know what you want, Joel. One minute you’re kissin’ me and begging to be with me, the next you’re telling me you can’t be with me because I’m too young.”

“Baby-”

“No! Don’t you dare? You had no intention of making this a thing, yet you played into it and got exactly what you wanted. I’m just another notch for you, ain’t I?”

Your hands are clenched, waiting for his delayed response. You are embarrassed and humiliated that you were delusional enough to let Joel toy with every one of your emotions.

“You know that ain’t true, girl. I just don’t want you to live your life regretting that I was a part of it, okay? You want to spend your days with an old man who can’t give you everything you want? ’m not good for you.”

He can’t let you make this mistake.

But you’re not easing up.

“What do you think I want? Kids? A simple life? A picket fence? Joel those are things I wanted when I was living in a world that didn’t have a brain-eating infection that’d turn people into zombies,” You’re huffing and puffing, trying to understand why he thinks he can tell you what you need and want.

“I spent years of my life wishing I could get those things, but I gave up a long ass time ago. I don’t want those things nearly as much as I want you. I fuckin’ want you, okay?”

You realize you’re not being quiet and your Dad could probably hear every word falling from your lips. He can hear you desperately plead with Joel Miller to be with you.

Joel is shocked you’re laying all this out. He can’t believe his ears when you say you want him. A man like him being wanted is quite unbelievable, especially by a woman like you.

You could hear a pin drop with how silent your house is. You fold your arms, trying not to give into the nausea you feel from spilling your soul to him.

“I just…” He fidgets with his hands for a minute before those puppy eyes glance up at you, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”

You step closer to him, your face inches away from him. You train your eyes on his mouth, unsure how to respond to such blasphemy.

“I have spent so many days thinking about what it’d be like to live in a world where the Joel Miller would even glance in my direction. I imagined what it’d be like to kiss him,” You’re whispering now, making sure this revelation is for his ears only, “I imagined what it’d be like to have a man who’d treat me well and look… Exactly like you. I have dreamed of you.”

Joel would have never guessed such a statement fall from your lips.

You breathe out, relieved it’s finally off your chest.

“I just don’t want to leave ya worse than I found ya,” His softness instantly makes you crumble into his arms. He holds you tight, before pulling away to search your face. You teeter forward on your toes, pressing a firm but attentive kiss to his lips.

When you draw back, “I’m not givin’ you up, Joel.”

The tension is shattered when you hear your Dad yell your name from down the hallway. You snap out of your trance of staring at Joel’s beautiful lips and dart toward the voice.

“Yeah?”

You open the door and see him, his eyes wide open and focused on the door.

“Who you talking to out there? Is that Joel?”

Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of every word you just said, scared half to death that your Dad would get out of bed and beat some sense into you. Joel follows you down the dimly lit hallway, but you don’t even hear him, too rattled by your father’s question.

“Yes, it’s me,” Joel speaks up, coming forward to meet your Dad’s confused expression, “How you feelin’, man?”

“I’m feelin’ like I’m hearing some odd things from down the hall. You two fighting?” His voice is breaking a bit.

The silence after he asks the question is deafening. You glance over to Joel whose mouth is slightly ajar, unable to move with an answer. You bite the inside of your cheek, wishing you could disappear into the wall nearby.

Joel cannot lie to his friend. He certainly would never do it with you right beside him.

“Yeah, you uh, heard us?” He barely manages.

“Yeah, I sure as hell heard my daughter beggin’ you to take her on, is that true?”

“Dad-“

“My daughter wants to date a man that’s 10 years younger than her own father? Kind of twisted.” He snaps, shoving the blankets off his legs. “But, I am gonna be honest… I expected this.”

You can hardly breathe with the tension in the air.

“Sorry?”

Joel’s tone is dry, and he’s unable to fully form a coherent thought.

Your dad coughs before he starts, “Well, I could tell by the way you looked at her that you had a thing for her, Miller. Didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to entertain it.”

“Dad, he’s not dum-“

“And I thought you’d get over this little schoolgirl crush, but I was mistaken, I guess.”

You were used to your Dad’s sarcasm and upfront jabs. You spent a lifetime throwing them back at him, but this time you had nothing to say. You watch as he settles back from obnoxiously tearing off his blankets.

You fiddle with your fingers, trying not to show your internal anxiety-riddled monologue. He thought you’d get over your crush. He always noticed how Joel looked at you. How did he look at you? How did you never notice?

Joel is spiraling, reverting to his original conclusions. He knew this was a horrible idea. He should have never stepped over the line. He’s a horrible man. You don’t deserve someone as awful as him.

He smacks his lips, making you and Joel come back down to Earth and out of your heads.

“Whatever is happenin’ between you two, I probably will never fully understand it. But you are adults, you do whatever makes you happy,” He says with both hands up in surrender, “I am too old to bother with my daughter’s love life. She’s a big girl, I trust her. But Miller, if you hurt her-“

“I’m a dead man.”

Your father laughs which in turn makes you smile crookedly.

“Just one thing,” He points to you, “I don't want to hear or see anythin’-”

You nod, cutting him off immediately, “Deal.”

Joel catches your eye when he smiles in your peripheral vision. You look over at him, a grin plastered to your face.

You can’t believe you’re actually going to do this.

And Joel can’t believe your father somewhat agreed to let it happen. He was sure he would have a gun in his face before he could even mutter a word. But instead, your Dad is receptive to him being with you, which is all you can ask for.

“Well, get along now, I wanna get back to sleep. You two were keepin’ me up,” Your dad grumbles, readjusting his frail frame to get comfortable in bed. You just nod, pointing at the door for Joel to exit. You follow suit, closing the door behind you tightly, making sure it clicks. Joel stands in the darkness of the hallway, waiting. He is in disbelief.

You just take one of his hands and bring it to your lips, softly pressing a kiss into his knuckles.

“Let’s go get cleaned up and take a nap,” You murmur, walking him to the end of the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He accepts the offer, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

You were not sure where this was all going to end up. Neither of you did. But you could not wait to carve the way with him, bringing every last one of your daydreams to life.

THE END

or is it? I have started writing snippets to go along with this story- if you want more, here's the link:

No One Fucks With My Baby

#joel miller fic #joel miller #joel x reader #joel miller x fem reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller fanfic #joel last of us smut #joel miller x reader #the last of us #post outbreak joel #dbf joel #dbf joel miller #gracieheartspedro #fic: who we are

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madelynraemunson · 3 months

Note

Married au with Rockstar!Eddie where he's just a man STARVED when he goes home from tour. LIKEEEE, he's just a needy husband in need of reader's loving and he's been lacking just that for months now ☹️☹️☹️ (please the Eddie brainrot is consuming my every being.)

☆ The Crawl ☆

rockstar!eddie munson x housewife!afab!reader

CW: 18+ obvs, needy, pathetic sub eddie, dom-ish afab reader, dick riding, cum eating, dirty talkin’ nasty goodness, eddie literally crawling towards us 🫠🫠, facial, implied unprotected p in v sex, dribbler!eddie

author's note: this is my first time writing sub!dribbler!eddie hehehe eds is usually a dom!shooter in my universe. i hope you all enjoy!!! 💌

WC: 686 words

“Need you to have your way with me, sweetheart…need you to use me…Can’t take it anymore. Please."

You meet your husband's desperate gaze as he brushes his stiff cock against your thighs, prodding you for the sensual loving you had promised him when he was to come back from tour.

Craving every inch of your touch, the man is at your mercy. And that damn polaroid picture you sent him a few days ago? The damn polaroid of that pretty pussy of yours, your glistening folds spread apart by your perfectly manicured fingers, the white border holding space for the title, “all for you” signed by your rouge red lipstick? Eddie damn near kicked the tour bus driver out his seat to turn the vehicle back around himself.

But, of course, the show had to go on. And as stoked as Eddie was for Corroded Coffin's Rise of Kas Tour, nothing compares to being with you, wrapped up in your intimacy in the comfort of the home you two share.

And now 385 days later, you two are here.

“Need you to ride me dry…” he pleads. “Need both lips on my cock baby, he’s missed you so much…”

“Nuh uh,” you smirk, enjoying yourself just a little. “Not gonna do away with the flatteries just yet.”

“Fucking please, princess,” Eddie begs. “Been blue-balled all tour, you can’t do this to me.”

“Oh but I can.”

Hellbent and greedy, your smitten, pussy starved husband treads hopelessly towards you on all fours as you guide him to the bedroom.

Too many press photos and interviews. Too many groupies lining up outside the tour bus to claim their spots with Gareth, Grant, and Jeff. And far too many titties to sign, but Eddie knows he shouldn’t refuse, cuz since he built his brand off being a sex-crazed rockstar, rejecting the ladies would mark the end of his — very successful — career.

Too much of tour life on repeat. And never enough of you. And when he finally gets you, the whining only seems to intensify.

Your twinkling, cum-coated tits bounce in Eddie's face as you frantically taunt your clit with his wide, veiny cock. The sight of you tossing your head back, a mewling mess as he splits you open is enough to tug orgasms out of Eddie’s blissfully aching body. And as you clench around him, screams getting louder by the pump, his spewing tip begins to twitch with every jab into your guts.

“Oh baby…shit, mmfuck, ‘m so fucking sensitive baby, you have no idea.”

Your excitement pools at the base of his naval. Knowing he's not going to last all that long, Eddie whimpers at the sight, his photographic conscious saving the episodic eye-sore for a midday work flashback.

“I love you so much,” he moans. Your orgasm begins to splash around him with every bounce. "Missed your beautiful face. Missed your tight fucking pussy."

“I love you, sweet boy,” you hum. “Your dick makes me feel so good, Eddie, fuck. You’re not going anywhere.”

Eddie releases one strained groan before he loses control. Now completely shifting the roles, Eddie pins you into place as he probes for his finish, thrusting into you as the sweat rushes down his body, his full sack beating at your skin as you ride out your last together.

“Fuck baby, yes baby, yes baby,” he pants. “Gonna be the death of me baby, oh fuck…”

And before he completely empties himself in you, Eddie retreats and finishes on your face. He beams down at you in awe as he glazes the hollows of your cheeks, glosses your lips, and caters to the tip of your cum-quenched tongue. Eddie then swoops down to collect his own eager laps, before thanking you with a kiss.

And, to your surprise, when all is said and done, and you’re all wiped down with a nice warm washcloth from the dryer, your husband books it to his office as if there were something else waiting for him behind that door.

“Eds,” you wonder. “What are you doing?”

“I need to write a song.”

#maddy’s requests 🍸#maddy’s mailbox ✨#rockstar!eddie #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x you

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joelmillerisapunk · 4 months

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Pregame Play

Dbf!Joel Miller x reader

masterlist

↳ wordcount: 934

↳ summary: During a game day gathering at your house, one thing leads to another, and you find yourself in the bathroom with Joel Miller, one of your dads best friends. As you cross the goal line, you're with a newfound understanding of your own desires

↳ warnings: 18+, daddy!Joel, dom!Joel, unprotected p in v, usage of "baby girl, good girl, daddy, slut, whore"

↳ authors notes: in celebration of 150 followers in the week I've been here 🥹 I wrote this lil piece. I love you all sm!

It's game day, and as always, your dad and his friends take up the entire living room to watch the game. You usually just make yourself scarce and hide in your room, but a girl gets thirsty. As you make your way down to the kitchen, you can hear the muffled sounds of their laughter and cheers coming from the living room.

You bend over to grab a drink from the fridge when suddenly, you feel a hand on your hip. You jump, startled, and turn around to see Joel smirking at you.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here," he says, his voice low and husky.

You take a step back, feeling a thrill run down your spine. "Joel, what are you doing?"

Joel raises an eyebrow, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm admiring the view darlin’."

You feel overwhelmingly nervous and self-conscious. "Joel, please."

But Joel doesn't seem to be listening. He steps closer to you, his hands both now on your waist. "You know, your daddy wouldn't like you showin’ off like this."

You bite your lip, feeling a surge of excitement. "Maybe he wouldn't, but I know you do."

Joel's eyes smolder with intensity as he presses you against the wall, his powerful body dominating yours. A husky growl rumbles in his chest as he declares, "I've been craving you, and now I'm going to have you. But first, you need to understand who's in control. I'm your daddy now, and you'll submit to my every desire." His words hang heavy with dark promise, awakening a primal hunger deep within you. You gasp as he lifts your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Meet me in the bathroom," he says, not meaning it as an option.

You watch as Joel disappears down the hallway, your heart racing in your chest. You feel a mixture of excitement and nervousness, unsure of what to expect. You've never done anything like this before, and you can't believe that you're actually considering following him into the bathroom. But as you stand there, your legs feeling like jelly, you realize that you want this. You want Joel, and you want to be his. You want to be his, to do whatever he wants you to do.

Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself and follow after him. As you enter the bathroom, you see Joel standing there, his pants already undone. He looks at you with a mixture of desire and command, and you know that you're his.

"C’mere," he growls.

You obey, walking over to him and letting him pull you into him. His hands are rough as they grab at your body, you can feel his erection pressing against you.

"You're my pretty little slut now, and I'm going to fuck you like one."

You gasp as he begins to slip off your skirt, his fingers brushing against your skin. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, your body responding to Joel's touch. He pulls your pants down, roughly grabbing your ass as he does so. You let out a soft moan as he lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pushes you against the bathroom wall

"Quiet," Joel growls. "Don't want anyone to hear how good you're gonna take my cock."

You nod your head, trying to keep as quiet as possible as Joel's fingers brush against your wetness, he aligns his cock with your entrance. You can feel yourself trembling with anticipation, your body begging for him to fill you up.

He doesn't make you wait any longer, pushing inside you with one swift thrust. You let out a muffled moan as he fills you up, stretching you out in the most delicious way possible. Joel's thrusts are rough and demanding, his hips slapping against yours as he takes you roughly from behind. You can feel every inch of him inside you, his cock hitting all the right spots as he pounds into you.

Joel's hand tightens in your hair, pulling your head back as he pounds into you. You can feel his breath against your neck, hot and heavy as he fucks you. "Take it," he growls, his voice low and commanding. "Take my cock like the dirty little whore you are."

You moan, unable to keep quiet as Joel fucks you rough and raw. His thrusts relentless, and you can feel every inch of him deep inside you.

"That's right," he growls, his hand tightening in your hair. "Use it to come, use that cock to come." You do, letting out a muffled scream as you come around Joel's cock. He groans, his thrusts becoming erratic as he reaches his own release. He holds onto you for a moment longer, his breathing heavy as he catches it.

As you both finish, Joel looks at you with dark eyes. "Remember, you're mine now," he says, his voice low and commanding. "And I'll be back for more." He roughly pulls out of you, adjusting his pants as he heads towards the door. You can't help but feel a pang of disappointment as he leaves, but you know that it's only a matter of time before he returns. And when he does, you'll be ready for him. Ready to be his slut, ready to do and be whatever he wants.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you adjust your own clothes. You can still feel the echoes of Joel's touch, the memory of his roughness and dominance. And you know that you wouldn't have it any other way.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #tlou fanfiction #joel miller #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #daddy!joel miller

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alessiamalfoyzabini · 5 months

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𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

Pairing | Yandere Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 1,542

Warnings | +18, smut dubcon(?), somnophilia, pussy worship, pussy eating, tongue fucking, fingering, male masturbation, Jungkook is desperately horny, cumming on her, body worship, breast/nipples worship, explicit language and descriptions, kidnapping, Jungkook is absolutely obsessed, this is not for minors.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | If she had paid attention earlier to the sin that dwelt behind those obsidian irises, she would never have trusted it.

If she had noticed earlier the devouring love that dwelled in his corrupt heart, she probably would have fled.

She had done none of that, and now she had to come to terms with her new reality.

➢ Author's Note | Third chapter of Happy Ending arrived, enjoy your reading, my dears 🥰❤

Chapter List - I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII / The End

That same night, a shadow wandered around the young woman's apartment. It had not been difficult to get there, as he had already thought, those windows were too old and easy to force, he could not allow Y/N to live in such a place. If a novice like him had managed to open the window facing the kitchen so quickly, then an experienced thief would have been able to do even better. He looked around, scrutinizing every nook and cranny, being very careful not to make any noise, noticed a pizza box on the table, with Coke cans scattered around, was very careful not to step on a single one - mentally cursing at the girl's mess - and headed for what he guessed was her room.

He opened the door slightly, which squeaked faintly because of rust, but that was not enough to wake the girl who lived in the apartment. Y/N must have been a very heavy sleeper, the boy thought. Jungkook was there for one simple reason, to take Y/N away and make her live a better life with him. Normally an art professor would not have made that much money, but professor was not his only job, he thought with a grin. The school's principal, Kim Seokjin, had his hands in everything, and someone like Jungkook was right for him. He then looked around, studying the environment to get an idea about his beloved's tastes, finding a variety of references to anime and manga, as well as books and flowers. Nothing that hinted at a passion for fashion, but of that Jungkook did not worry, he would see to it that she was dressed cute and perfect, just for the pleasure of his eyes.

Reaching just to one side of the single bed, he stared at Y/N sleeping blissfully with only part of the blanket to give her warmth, the tender lower lip protruded invitingly and Jungkook felt the urge to squeeze it between his teeth, tasting its softness. He shivered slightly when he took a flap of the blanket, pulling it aside. He slowly uncovered Y/N's body, revealing something that made the man's brain go haywire. Y/N slept in only a tank top and panties even in winter. It was a comfortable habit for the girl, but for Jungkook it was like a wedding invitation, literally. His eyes did not break away from the bare skin in the slightest while enough light filtered through the window to make that vision heavenly for him.

He slowly knelt down, a hand flew within inches of her calves, he did not know whether to touch her that way or not, she was not conscious, it would not be right, would it? The boy found himself gritting his teeth, it would only be a caress, a gentle caress. He gently laid his fingers on one calf, held his breath at the smooth sensation of her skin against his fingertips and continued with the slow ascent, felt his lips dry up when, having reached her knee, Y/N decided of her own volition to spread her leg wide, leaving a wide view of her intimacy covered by the blue panties, at which point Jungkook's blood concentrated in one spot. He took that sign as a Y/N response to continue. He climbed onto the bed gently, positioning himself right on top of the young woman, his hand opening on her inner thigh, the softest and most tender part of her leg, felt that buttery texture under his fingers and did the same with the other, thus bringing both legs apart for him, he sent down watering at that scene so erotic that it nearly drove him mad.

He felt powerful as never before in his life, he could do anything he wanted to her and she would continue to sleep blissfully. The young girl's tightly closed eyelids cast lash shadows across her cheeks, she was so serene in sleep that Jungkook found her enchanting, so much so that he leaned over her, stealing a sweet kiss on her cheek, in love with that pure little fairy of his. His. He watched for a possible reaction, but she continued to sleep. Not content, he descended lower, to the tender breasts enclosed in that wide camisole, lifted the pale fabric finding himself face to face with what, he knew, would become his favorite damnation, studied with hungry eyes the perfect color of those still soft and relaxed little buttons, barely touching with a finger the velvety, graceful circle of an areola. He trapped the tender nipple with his lips, sucking it tenderly inside his warm, moist mouth, felt it plump under the strokes of his tongue and found himself nibbling on it without too much pressure, sending small, sweet twinges to the young girl's sleeping body. Y/N, for her part, turned her head slightly, opening her mouth slightly in a moan that her brain could not fully register.

Jungkook cupped the other breast, stimulating it with the tip of a finger, squeezing it lightly before devoting his mouth to it as well, and the more he engulfed that tender flesh, the more his cock throbbed uninterruptedly in search of its dose of forbidden caresses. A pop resounded from the room as he let go of his grip on the young girl's now abused nipple, went down with moist kisses all along the girl's chest, with his sweet prey's breathing rising in response, thus reaching the lower abdomen licking a small trail around her navel, moaning silently at the taste of that skin that he would also have gladly bitten into, but he could not risk waking the girl up in the midst of his fun, so he merely descended lower and lower, reaching to the fabric of her panties. With the tip of his nose he pressed against her covered pussy, ecstatically inhaling the natural scent of her essence, he felt himself salivating and his own boxers got a little wet, he pressed his erection against the mattress moving slightly to give himself some relief, not satisfied he peeled back the fabric of the panties and almost thought he would come there on the spot. The rosy flesh of the folds opened under the pressure of his index finger, revealing the swollen clitoris and the sweet slit from which sweet transparent liquid was already leaking.

Jungkook gave a long lick that from the young woman's narrow entrance reached up to her clitoris, encircling it with the tip in a tender and insistent caress; on another occasion the boy would have cried out in the most bewitching pleasure, but he forced himself to enjoy that taste in silence. Y/N unknowingly thrust his hips into the man's ravenous mouth in a soft, slow rhythm that delighted Jungkook. That to him was the ultimate proof that the girl accepted his intimate attentions without regret. He used two fingers to stimulate the young woman's lit and pulsating clitoris, continuing with the tip of his tongue to penetrate the tight and wet slit, sucking the small quivering lips together with the unconscious girl's legs, continuing to poke and pull at that pearl now stiff and ready to explode between his index finger and thumb, teasing the soft flesh ever more insistently. "Mm... Ah...!" the girl's back arched slightly, exposing more and more of her intimacy to the boy, her body tried to keep up with that forbidden pleasure, in her mind Y/N was dreaming, dreaming of Jungkook and in her dream the boy was doing to her just what the real Jungkook was joyfully enacting in reality.

He willingly swallowed the young girl's fluids with yet another tongue caress, then replaced his fingers with the latter, cradling the pulsating clitoris in velvety lashings, penetrating the now-soaked entrance with his fingertips, the girl rigidly propped her feet up on the mattress, opening her mouth wide and frowning in a shrill howl, which was prolonged when her clitoris succumbed to extreme pleasure following a light bite from the boy, his teeth weakly crushing that taut pearl, now at the 'extreme and that gesture was enough to release its violent contained pleasure. Jungkook detached himself from Y/N's quivering body, lowering his pants and boxer shorts, took his already dripping cum cock in his hand and leaned over Y/N beginning to pump himself several times, ran his thumb over the scarlet tip increasing the speed of his thrusts, before pouring out a large amount of cum with a choked cry, smearing the girl's breasts and panties with the sticky white liquid. He looked at his work of art with devotion and affection, stroking his cock in an attempt not to let up again on those gentle discharges of pleasure, until it became completely soft again. He adjusted his clothes, retrieving tissues from the girl's bedside table to wipe off his semen, silently praying that the sweet, spicy taste of Y/N would never disappear from his tongue.

God, he would have taken her again and again on that bed, but he shook his head to himself , Y/N deserved better and wanted her awake when it happened. He wanted her to see with her own eyes how much love he would be able to give her.

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere jungkook #bts yandere smut #yandere bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #yandere #yandere jeongguk #jeongguk x reader

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lean-ground-beefro · 5 months

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welcome to the stage...

a Joel Miller one shot: Flip the Switch

Pairing: CEO!Joel Miller x F!Reader Prompt from @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog:

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 =Santa!Joel x elf!reader 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥 = you’ve been a lazy elf so Santa Joel punishes you

Summary: You've been tasked with being Joel's 'Helper Elf' at this year's Christmas Party and good god do you hate your job... Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) Word Count: 3,562 Content Warning: DubCon, Smutty smutty smut smut, fingering (f receiving), p in the v - unwrapped, degradation, power plays, power imbalance, boss / employee dynamic, swiches, dom/sub dynamic, name calling, couch fucking Author's Notes: I am @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog's Secret Santa and I am so sorry for how late this is, bb! I am thankful for you and I hope you enjoy my first foray our of the chubby universe.

Thank you to @softpascalito, @theywhowriteandknowthings & @neverwheremoonchild for their eyes and beta skills. 💜🥦💜

Santa-baby-I've-been-an-swful-good-girl regards,

Beefro👌🥦💜

--------<3----------

When you’d been asked to dress as Joel’s ‘Helper Elf’ to his ‘CEO Santa’, you’d scoffed at the idea, already planning on resigning from being one of his company’s administrative assistants. You were tired of the long hours and being worked to the bone for very little pay and respect, but you decided to hold off to see the shitshow that the company’s Christmas party would be since Joel himself was in charge of planning it.

Joel was an egotistical brute who had no business being allowed to mingle with people in an enclosed space. His only saving graces were his brother, Tommy – CFO and President, and the only one who could rein him in - and his stupidly handsome, brooding good looks. He infuriated you; he knew he could get away with just about anything because he was the boss and most of the peons were scared shitless of his brutal tirades being directed at them. He threw it in almost anyone’s face how loaded he was and that he owned them. You hated him as much as you loved how quickly you came on your vibrator when though about his voice, his eyes, his hands that were burned into your memory. Fuck Joel Miller and fuck his cocky fucking smirk.

The day of the party you’d been given a cheap, sleezy looking elf costume with an email soon landing in your inbox with instructions to wear it that night, along with what your duties would be. Rolling your eyes, you read the email and realized that you would be spending the entire evening at Joel’s side, truly being his ‘Helper Elf’. You were to make sure he knew every person’s name (you rolled your eyes because if he really gave a shit about the people who worked for him, he’d already know their names), make sure he had food and a drink available to him all night (great – you were going to be a glorified personal waitress for the douchebag), make sure the event ran smoothly (as the one who apparently planned the event, why was this up to you?), had out gifts as ‘Santa’s Helper’ to the employees (groan…), and lastly, keep him company throughout the evening.

The whole thing made you rethink waiting to quit and you huffed, looking down at the cheap, probably highly flammable, elf costume on your desk.

“Fuck it.”, you groaned, picking it up and shoving it into your purse and heading to the bathroom to change.

*****

You were silently cheering yourself on. All evening, you’d made a conscious decision to be as annoying and useless as possible for Joel, and boy oh boy!, you’d gotten under his skin. Two hours into the party, and Joel had gone to get his third refill at the bar because you weren’t ‘paying attention’ and he’d also missed out on most of the buffet because you ‘forgot’ to get him a plate. You’d also managed to ‘unknowingly’ give him several wrong names, making him look like an ass towards several employees who’s names he really should have known. When it came time to hand out presents, you conveniently were ‘required’ to make yourself scarce and were unable to help.

While he’d barely said more than a few sentences to you, his scowl said everything you needed to be satisfied. At this point, you’d had more than a few drinks, and while you still maintained your professionalism, you’d stopped adjusting your skimpy elf costume and let it ride up higher on your thigh as you sat next to Joel. You’d caught him looking down at your bare lap more than once, making you grin to yourself.

*****

You had to give him his due; Joel had managed to put on a not-mediocre, standard office Christmas party. It was more than you thought he was capable of. That, and the fact that he kept the stupid Santa suit on the entire evening and posed for pictures with anyone who asked. You swear you might have even seen a genuine smile on his face when his brother came up for a picture dressed as a reindeer.

What really made you happy though was when Tommy asked Joel how his night was going, and you heard him respond, “Strapped me with a lazy fuckin’ elf, Tommy…” as his face held a cold sneer.

Right under that smile was the asshole who you’d found so much delight in needling all night.

By the time the party wrapped up, you figured you’d done your duty and you’d be free to go home and continue the party with a cheap bottle of wine and your cat. Everyone else had left and as you grabbed your bag from under the table, you heard Joel’s telltale stomps come up behind you. Before you could turn around, he had his hands on your waist, pushing you against the table.

“Think you’re bein’ cute, sugar?”, he growled into your ear.

“The fuck are you doing?!”, you snapped back, trying to wriggle out of his grasp more out of surprise than disgust.

He held you tighter, his thick fingers digging into your waist, and you could feel your panties getting wet.

“Don’t you fuckin’ move… can you follow that fuckin’ direction?”

“Oh Jesus! Just fuck off!”, you snarled back, again, trying halfheartedly to remove his hands from you, but hoping he didn’t let go.

He grunted as you shoved him back and turned around. You both stood and glared at each other, daring the other to make the first move. A small, menacing grin spread on Joel’s face as he took a few slow steps towards you.

“No one’s fucked the Christmas spirit into you yet, sugar?”, he growled, licking his lips and roughly pushing you back onto the table.

“Oh, fuck you! You couldn’t fuck a quack into a duck, you asshole.”

He raised his eyebrow at you and gave you a warning look before roughly gripping your chin and forcing you to look up at him. He brought his face close to you and stared down at you meanly.

“You’re a shitty helper elf. Don’t you dare be a shitty lay, too.”

Before you could respond, he hoisted you up on the table, shoved the skirt of your dress up around your waist and pushed his fingers against your clothed core, making you let out an involuntary moan and a buck of your hips.

“Fuckin’ sweet, sugar…”, he purred, eyeing you with a grin.

You rolled your eyes and groaned against his touch. “You’re a disgusting old man, Miller.”

“Fuck, you’ve got a nasty little mouth on you…”, he murmured with a devilish grin as he pushed your legs apart and stood between them.

You swallowed hard as he grasped your neck. His other hand’s fingers moved between you and his eyes fluttered. He groaned when he felt how wet you were through your panties.

“Fuckin’ eh, sugar…”, he cooed, returning his softer gaze towards you. “You wet for daddy?”

You sucked in a breath as he circled your covered clit with his index finger, and tried to sound as firm as you could. “Fuck off with that ‘daddy’ shit, Miller.”

He tsk’d you, griping your throat tighter. “You and your mouth, sugar…”, he chuckled, watching you squirm, then growled. “You’re gonna be begging me to be your daddy when I’m done with you.”

That was it. This man had fucked around enough with you as your boss and now he wanted to demean you like this? Pulling yourself together, you pushed his chest and shoved him off you with all your might and before he could pounce on you again, you quickly moved to the side, causing him to lean over the table.

You shoved him forward, and to your surprise, he didn’t resist. Instead, he chuckled. “What’re you gonna – “

It infuriated you that despite your rejection of him, he was still smiling and seemingly enjoying himself.

“Just shut up!”, you snarled back, snaking your hand around his front and gripping his infuriatingly impressive cock through his cheap, fuzzy red pants.

“You fuckin’ shit… you’ll never be my daddy…” You could feel him get harder as you growled into his ear. “Too fuckin’ old to even pin me down…”

“Ungh…sugar… oh fuck…”, he panted, rutting his hips and griding his cock against your hands.

The fact that Joel was getting off to your less-than-kind words was not lost on you and you scoffed.

“This how you’re gonna get off, Joel?”, you cooed coldly into his ear as he panted. “Big tough Miller gets off to girls telling him no?”

“Please… sugar… fuck… please…”

“That the best you can do? You’re pathetic, you know that?”, you snapped at him as you shoved the front of his pants down, freeing his cock.

You stood back and tugged his arm, signalling him to turn over, and when he did, his cock did not disappoint. He was huge and the head was angry and weeping. He watched your face, eyes staring in wonderment at his dick as your mouth parted, jaw going slack. He grinned and chuckled, causing your eyes to meet his, only making you angrier with him.

“Fuck you, Miller!”

“Calm down, sugar… not the first whore to get cock dumb on me…”, he cooed, still with a smug grin on his face. He reached out trying to pull your hand to his member.

You yanked your hand away and spat into your palm before gripping his cock and starting to jerk him.

“Fuck you, Miller.”, you seethed lowly. “Fuck you and your fuckin’ smug face.”

“Why you – fuck… why you so pissed, sugar?”

“You’re such a pompous dick! So fuckin’ arrogant and you’re a shit boss.”, you fumed, continuing to pump his cock, causing him to pant. “Throwin’ your money in people’s faces, not knowing their names… someone better put you on your place, Miller. After tonight, I quit, you smug fuck!”

It was like a switch flipped; he snapped out of his submissive and amused state as soon as the words left your mouth. He gripped your wrist, ripping it off his cock and sat up, his other hand going around your throat.

“I don’t think so, sugar. You’re not going anywhere.”

He stood up, holding your wrist and throat, and guided you backwards to the couch and pushed you down on it. You fell back, your legs parted, and he took advantage of this. Joel leaned over you, pushed your panties to the side, and shoved two of his thick fingers into your sopping wet cunt, causing you to yelp.

“You can take it, sugar.”, he smiled menacingly at you, then growled through clenched teeth, “And you’re gonna take it.”

He pounded up into you with one hand while the other gripped your hair in his fist. The sounds that came from your mouth were foreign to you. Yeah, you liked it rough, but this was different. This was your soon-to-be former boss, finger banging you on a couch after a Christmas party and after you’d just about had him wailing your name. You had no idea what had happened to flip him, and before you could get too deep into your thoughts, he hit the perfect spot. That sweet, spongy spot in your pussy that less than half the me you’d fucked had even accidentally grazed, and here was Joel, repeatedly hitting it like it was a doorbell it was an emergency house call.

“Oh fuck!... right th - yes!... fuck… Joel, there… yes!”

As you felt your walls start to flutter and when that white hot heat started its ascent, he pulled away, grin on his lips.

You sat up on your elbows and looked at him, mouth open and eyes pleading. “What are y-?”

“Fuck you, that’s what.”, he grunted with a grin, shoving his slick fingers into his mouth and sucking.

You could only stare up at him in response. When he finally deemed his fingers clean, he pulled them out of his mouth with a pop and grinned at you.

“Tell you what, sugar. You take back what you said, and I’ll fuck you right here on this couch like you deserve.”

Confused, you continued to lookup at him until it dawned on you.

“You want me to not quit?”

He nodded, grin dropping from his face.

“You think I worked Tommy over to let you be my fuckin’ ‘Elf’ and put up with your bullshit attitude tonight for you to just quit on me, sugar?”, he asked lowly, leaning over you, pinning your head between his elbows.

“Think I haven’t watched that fuckin’ body of yours sashay ‘round the office and had to fuck my fist when I finally got alone?”, he crooned is a husky whisper, pressing his hot mouth on your neck and alternating between licking and nipping your skin. “Think I don’t notice your ass in those skintight skirts and imagine you sittin’ on my face?”

You let out a moan and gripped his shoulders, trying to pull him further into you. He quickly pulled back and sat up on his knee packed between your open legs, and grabbed your hands.

“I’m not hearin’ what I need to, sugar…”

You were frustrated and needy, hating that he had gotten the upper hand on you. Stubbornly, you shook your head.

“Fuck you, Miller. You’re a shit boss and a shit person and I’m not gonna let you fuck around and get nothin’ in return!”

His eyes darkened and his frown hardened into a scowl. He gripped your chin, pulling you up to him as he leaned down to you, feeling his hot breath on your face.

“Listen here, you little bitch. If that’s what you really want, I’ll send you outta here with my fuckin’ bastard in your belly whether you like it or not as a reminder of what you fucked up.”, he growled, holding you stare as if to challenge you.

You could feel your slick flowing from you, dripping out of your cunt and down your crack. Your mind and body were screaming ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in a pathetic battle with themselves at his threat.

“Or…”, his tone softened, as did his grip on your chin, “you can stay and get a promotion.’”

Your face morphed from pleading to confused again. “A-a promotion?”

“A promotion?”, he mocked. ”Yeah, sugar. A fuckin’ promotion.”

He lazily dragged his hand down your body, slipping it between your legs again and into your panties, and began rubbing small, light circles around your clit. You shifted, brows folding as you fought to keep your breath steady and eyes on him, refusing to break again and beg him again.

“You’re good at your job, and I agree… you don’t get enough for all your hard work. How ‘bout this, baby… you work exclusively for me… be my girl here… my helper elf all year round – minus the shitty, bratty attitude you came here tonight with – and I pay you what you’re worth…”

It took all your strength to not cave right then and there, but you were stubborn. “A personal cocksleeve for the office? How fuckin’ charming.”, you snapped back, in a voice far shakier and breathier than you had hoped it would be.

Joel smiled and chuckled darkly, continuing to tease your clit.

“You keep actin’ like you don’t want this, sugar, but my hand can feel your poor little pussy throbbin’ and needin’ me… and I’m sure your bank account would appreciate my attention as well.”

“Fuck you.”

“I plan on it, baby.”, he grinned menacingly. “But I gotta know how you want it… one last fuck… or…”

He nudged his nose against yours.

“My own, personal, little sugar… who’s so good at her job… and can keep me in my place when she wants… get me on my knees and make me beg… and let me fuck her into submission when I need it.”

When you tried to push up against him, he held you in place, keeping his fingers in your folds and his face close to yours in an act of dominance.

“No… I’m the boss right now, sugar, and I asked you a question. I expect an answer.”

You couldn’t help the whimper that crept out of your throat and that was all Joel needed. He kissed you, softly at first then increasing the fervour, prying your mouth open with his lips and tongue. Teeth and spit helping your faces mash together. The hand he had between your legs moved to his waistband and he pulled it down, again, freeing his cock then gripping it. He pulled back slightly and slid its thick head through your slick.

“Tell me you want it, sugar…”, he grunted, looking at you from under heavy eyelids.

“Fuck…”, you breathed out, your pussy clenching on nothing. “I… of fuckin’ course I want it!”

“Ask nicely, sugar. Drop the attitude.”

“Fuck… please… please, Joel! I want it… I want you… I wanna be… fuck you for making me say it… I wanna get that promoti – aah!.”

Before the last syllable could come from your mouth, Joel pushed your panties aside and shoved his cock into your heat, giving no grace period for you to adjust.

“S’what I thought, sugar.”, he huffed out in a grin.

“Please… oh fuck, please move, Joel!”

“Yeah? Why? ‘Cause your pussy’s too tight for me? ‘Cause you haven’t been fucked by a man with a big dick and bank account?”, he cooed, tilting his hips to push further into you, his tip pressed firmly against your cervix.

“Fuck! Yes… please!”, you yelped, squirming under him. All thoughts of trying to take any control back were being forced out of you by his dick and he knew it.

His smug grin stayed firmly on his face as he pulled out in a painfully slow movement before slamming back in, pushing you further up the couch. He grabbed your hips and held you as he did it again.

“Faster… faster, Joel…”

He shook his head, still grinning. “Uh-uh…”

He kept his slow exit, harsh entry going as he watched your face contort and your cunt clench and release him. You were sure he was just torturing you, but the way he looked down at your face and body mixed with the even pace he was keeping and his size, you knew he knew what he was doing. You could feel the heat building up again, and he could, too.

“That’s it, sugar… I can feel it… come on, baby… lemme have it…”

The wave of your first orgasm hit you, rippling through your body and pulling a long, loud moan from your mouth.

“Oh, good girl!… finally, takin’ directions… good girl…”

He let you start to come down before he picked up your foot, placed a kiss on your ankle and draped it over his shoulder.

“That’s right, sugar… did so good for me, now I’m gonna return the favour.”

He thrusted into you harshly and picked up the speed, forcing your spend out onto both your thighs and his curly thatch of salt and pepper hair that crowned his cock. He pummelled you over and over, bringing you to the cusp of another orgasm and pulled out.

“Turn around… on your knees, sugar.”, he grunted, swatting at you.

You had to fight your trembling body and shaky legs to move, but once you got up on your knees on the couch, back facing Joel, he took over and moved your body into position.

“Now I get it, baby… you behave when you know you’re gettin’ something…”, he chuckled, pushing your face against the cushioned headrest. “Gonna have to get a reward system in place… give you a gold star and a fuck when you do good…”

Before you could return a snappy comeback, he pushed his cock back into you, making the only sound your mouth could produce be a whine.

The angle that he was fucking you in was even better and more intense than before. His grunting and murmured praises filled the room along with the wet, vulgar noises of his cock impaling your cunt. You felt another orgasm coming on, but it was more. Your pants turned to whiny yelps and moans and you felt like something was about to burst.

“Joel… Joel!”

“I know… can feel it… come for me, sugar… come on…”

“Joel… it’s – unhg!... I’m…”

You felt the bubble burst and cried out, collapsing on the couch. Joel let out a grunt-turned-moan at the flood of liquid pouring out of you, holding your hips, and continuing to fuck into you. His thrusts got sloppy and as you leaned on the back of the couch for support, he punched into you one last time, holding your hips against him tightly as he unloaded himself into your pussy with a loud groan.

When you tried to move, his hand moved to your back, soothing over it, as he panted. “Stay put, sugar… just… just stay put.”

You relaxed and laid forward, putting your weight on the couch, and closed your eyes. You could feel his cock twitching in you as it began to soften. His weight shifted and he pressed a kiss between your shoulder blades. The uncharacteristically gentle action made your eyes open abruptly and you sucked in a breath.

Joel’s chuckle reverberated against your back through his chest. “Congrats on your promotion, sugar.”

--------<3----------

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hongthoven · 1 year

Text

Paper Planes ✈ nerdy!hongjoong x reader (smut)

The room was quiet except for the lava lamp on his bedside table and the heavy, guttural groans he had failed to cover as Hongjoong felt himself reaching climax a bit faster with each stroke. His fist tightly wrapped around himself with a fair mix of saliva and his own arousal pooling into his palm as the most natural lube, Hongjoong tried his best to solely focus on the helpless moans coming from the next room, perfectly conscious of how fucked-up he must have looked right now, jerking off to his roommate having sex with a girl he could only wish to ever touch, someday, given the opportunity of her seeing him as anything more than her boyfriend’s nerdy roommate.

⁂ warnings:

smut, handjob (m), oral (f. receiving), voyeurism, unprotected sex (don't do this, kids!), hongjoong is a soft nerd with a heavy crush on Y/N, soft sex, bit of fluff if you squint, all in all some cute nerdy sex, also hj is a gentleman, asking for permission and all.

⁂ author's notes:

Hi ♥ (insert shy wave to the crowd) I'm sort-of-kinda-maybe back with this piece that was requested by a moot (hi, moot! ♥) but bear with me I'm still going through massive struggles with my writing. Apologies if it's shit. Apologies if there's spelling mistakes, I can't seem to english lately? (still not my first language though so yeah there's that I guess) - hmm anyway, I went all soft on Joongie with that one but who can blame me really, have you SEEN him?

As usual, feedbacks are more than welcome. Pls be nice. ♥

one shot | 5.2k words

“Fuck…! Hwa! HARDER…!”

Instantly flustered at the sound of her voice begging for more, it took him all the strength he had left not to growl louder as his fist increased the pace, matching the filth of his thoughts as Hongjoong pictured himself pounding deeper into the girl of his dreams, her perfect figured pinned into the mattress as his name escaped her lips through a scream, eyes glued on her perfect, bouncing tits and that single mole that always caught his attention whenever she wore one of her signature v-neck cardigans. Biting into his bottom lip as he recalled the day she had shamelessly admitted she loved to wear knitted tops without a bra only to enjoy the soft fabric on her naked skin, Hongjoong could feel himself slowly falling apart.

While he was sadly used to being the inevitable witness of his roommate’s wild sexcapades, Hongjoong couldn’t help but think he would definitely be a better lover than Seonghwa could ever be, to her. Knowing his friend, Hongjoong had painted a pretty self-centered portrait of Seonghwa through his own stories and confessions. He knew how much he loved the attention without truly giving much back. Sex was never about having a deep connection with his partners and while he claimed to be pretty amazing at it, Hongjoong just couldn’t stop picturing himself in this room instead, worshiping that girl’s body until she begged him to stop. Not that he would, but the thought of her clenching and shaking into his arms, whimpering sweet nothings as his name flew through her lips over and over again was enough to—

Fuck— He had made an absolute mess of himself.

Red at the cheeks, his shirt sticking to his sweaty chest, swollen lips from biting at it too hard to cover up his own profanities, Hongjoong opened his eyes again to stare at the three paper planes attached to his ceiling lights. Over time, he had grown quite fond of those, using it as a distraction when things were getting out of hand next door and he was definitely too tired to rub another one out.

A little more composed, Hongjoong shifted into his sheets to get a better look at the disaster below: His checked PJ bottoms pushed down to his thighs were covered with a thick white mess, his semi-hard cock resting over his stomach, twitching through one last spur as a couple more drops trailed down his hip bone like a river filled with his most unspeakable fantasies.

Collecting himself , Hongjoong reached for the matching checked vest he had gotten rid of earlier, using it as an emergency towel to wipe himself off, collecting as much of his own fluid as possible before he sat on the edge of the bed, crouching his dirty laundry against his thighs until his breathing was back to normal and his erection tucked into his pants again. Biting on the inside of his cheeks, Hongjoong couldn’t find the inevitable shameful feeling as he suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable, and absolutely disgusting.

Next door, things had gotten quiet too and while he wished the fantasies would have stopped immediately, Hongjoong couldn’t help picturing Y/N’s body snuggling into his chest, still trembling from his assaults, her strawberry lips reaching for a kiss. God. Why did she have to be that beautiful? Her scent often remained through the dorm hours after she had left, like a torturous reminder of what her skin would taste like if he was allowed a single bite.

Not that he would settle for one.

But still.

Feeling himself getting worked up at the simplest thought of her giving him that sort of attention, Hongjoong decided to escape his room to get rid of the dirty evidence of his sins, his throat burning for a cold glass of water. Grabbing his glasses from the pillow where they had dropped earlier through the urge of his intimate moment, Hongjoong finally lifted himself off the mattress, his legs still a little numb from the ecstasy.

Seonghwa’s door was closed, which he took as a blessing considering the many occasions he had walked past his roommate’s bedroom, catching the inevitable through a partially open door. Though he was definitely ashamed to admit, Hongjoong had found himself peeping through the thin opening a couple times before. It’s not like he wanted to see, but curiosity had killed the cat the moment his eyes had come across the filthiest sight of Y/N bending over Seonghwa, mouth full of him as he buried himself deep down her throat with both his fists keeping her head low. The view was absolutely obscene, making it impossible for Hongjoong to keep his eyes off her as she remained spread out with her knees into the mattress, her panties pushed to the side, her glistening slit making him foam at the mouth as she pushed two of her fingers into her dripping core. From where he stood, Hongjoong could almost hear the quenching sound of her cunt tightening around her digits, wishing to taste the shiny coat covering her skin as she painfully moaned around another man's cock. While jealousy was eating him alive, Hongjoong was lucky enough to have enough imagination to picture himself in that bed with her instead of Seonghwa.

At this moment, he wasn’t a perv looking freak staring at a couple having sex with a hand down his pants, he was the one making her wet to the point she couldn’t keep her own fingers off herself.

The fond memory of her fingers scissoring her opening to the point he could almost feel how tight she would be around him simply vanished in front of his eyes as soon as the door opened, bringing him back to present and the brutal reality of him standing in front of Y/N with his clothes covered with his own cum.

She was wearing Seonghwa’s frat house sweater, which unfortunately made it too easy for him to pretend it was his, the greek lettering staring back at him as the fabric seemed to wrap her up entirely like a robe but not enough for Hongjoong to ignore the fact she had nothing else on as her thighs were fully exposed. He could only wish she had the decency to wear panties around him, otherwise he would probably go insane.

“That’s an odd time to be doing your laundry?” Of course she had to make that comment. Regardless of the mess of his schedule as a Computer and Informational Sciences Major, Hongjoong couldn’t find a good reason why he would decide to do a late night laundry on a wednesday.

Still, nothing came close to the awkwardness of his silence following her remark.

“Couldn’t sleep” He eventually blurted out, tightening his grip around his clothes while hoping she wouldn’t catch any suspicious stain. He knew he probably looked nervous right now, a small layer of sweat covering his forehead where a couple of his golden curls were still plastered from earlier. His glasses had slipped all the way down to the tip of his nose, making him look like a rabbit caught in the headlights and if that wasn’t enough for her to realize something was off, his voice sounded nothing like his usual composed tone. He was stuttering, almost struggling to use actual words when he was supposedly a head student.

How embarrassing.

“Aw, fuck… Did we keep you up?”

She was now standing with her back against the closed door, one leg above the other like some frozen-in-time ballerina, a small smirk twisting her lips as she kept her gaze locked with his. Pretending he didn’t hear them having sex would be a sad attempt at an obvious lie. Y/N had been there too many times not to realize how thin the dorm’s walls were. Thinking about it, Hongjoong inevitably wondered if she had ever caught him whimpering through the wall, the obvious creaking sound of his bed suddenly turning into the devastating evidence of his late night activities.

Her smile grew bigger as silence remained between them.

Of course she knew he could hear them, and as a man of sciences who hated to assume without actual facts, Hongjoong was now struggling to deny the obvious content painted all over her face right now. Was she actually enjoying this thought?

“I—I—Umm… I didn’t h-hear much, don’t worry”

He hated himself for stuttering so much over nothing, but at least, he was being honest about the whole situation, only keeping the saucy part of it for his own secret space. Y/N on the other hand, simply brushed the thought off with the cutest pout, emphasizing on the fact she obviously didn’t mind being heard. The fact it might have been a turn-on of hers still remained pretty vague, though.

“Can’t hear much, uh? So if we fucked in the next room, Seonghwa wouldn’t wake up?”

Hongjoong had to blink a couple times just to make sure she wouldn’t vanish in front of his eyes. Clearly, this was another of his fucked-up fantasies, only a little too vivid for him to feel safe. His roommate’s girlfriend couldn’t be standing there, suggesting for him to fuck her into the room right next to the one where her boyfriend was still fast asleep.

“I— I guess it would be just the same, you know, uh, walls work both ways…”

Walls. work. both. ways?

Now he truly hated himself for coming up with the lamest possible answer to an obvious attempt at disarming him with a flirty suggestion. Why couldn’t he be cool for once and play along? Most of his friends would probably be head first into her breast right now but him? No. He just HAD to be the lamest guy to ever walk the Earth.

“Are you trying to find actual science facts to make a point?” She laughed, which made it even worse for Hongjoong as his brain simply couldn’t avoid the scientific parts of every thought ever crossing his mind.

“You’re such a nerd, Joong…”

Hongjoong couldn’t point out the worst part of this whole interaction as she walked closer to him, her hand traveling up his chest, sending his heart into a racing pace that almost got him dizzy while her scent was all over him, draping him with a sweet mix of vanilla and a specific kind of flower he couldn’t identify with her palm ghosting his cheek as she stared into his soul. She looked even more beautiful from this close as Hongjoong looked down through his glasses still resting at the tip of his nose, his jaw suddenly lacking some strength as his mouth remained slightly open for her to graze her thumb over his plump, bottom lip.

As a simple touch of her hand sent him through oblivion, Hongjoong was frozen into space, unable to move, talk or do anything but focus hard enough to hide the obviousness of his erection poking through his pants. Pushing his dirty laundry against himself while gulping whatever was left of saliva down his throat, Hongjoong silently prayed for a quick relief as Y/N took off his glasses to try them on as her soft giggles echoed down the corridor.

“God– you’re practically blind?

"I– actually I have pseudopapilledema, that’s uh— an issue with the retinal nerve fiber layer?"

"I love it when you talk dirty to me, Hongjoong”

Hongjoong was thankful to hear the sweet sound of her laugh as his down-to-earth way of thinking often made him miss the point or ignore the obvious sarcasm in one’s tone. Lucky for him, Y/N always made sure to be extremely bold, sometimes a little too much for his own comfort.

Pushing his glasses back up his nose, the touch of her hands upon his ears sending shivers down his spine, Y/N flashed him one last smile and excused herself to the bathroom, wishing an unspoken goodnight as she abruptly cut their special moment short. While he already missed her touch, Hongjoong inevitably welcomed this peaceful moment to himself, taking a deep breath until he was able to walk to the laundry room, Y/N never leaving his thoughts for even a second.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to his room minutes later with a glass of water, Hongjoong’s heart almost jumped off his chest at the sight in front of him as soon as he walked through the door. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Y/N seemed to have a curious look around his personal space, the only place no one was ever allowed in, stepping into his cocoon in the most violent way possible as his eyes instantly caught sight of her bare thighs grazing his sheets. The very same sheets he was laying in while jerking off to her, earlier in the night.

“I like the paper planes…” She simply stated, crossing one leg above the other as her chin pointed at the ceiling. There was something terribly erotic about the fact she now shared his view, that special view he only had when laying down his bed while she was getting pounded next door. It almost felt like a terrible joke, a crossover he never saw coming, and yet, he loved to see her in that scene, a stranger lost in a painting that didn’t fit her aesthetic.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Hongjoong barely managed to blurt out, still stunned at the sight of the girl of his dreams sitting on his own bed

“I was curious, to be honest I almost expected some Star Wars beddings… But these are nice… I like the fabric…”

Swallowing his painfully sinful thoughts away, Hongjoong watched as Y/N grabbed a fistful of his sheets, creasing the fabric into her palm the same way she would if he was on top of her with his hips rocketing between these thighs he couldn’t keep his eyes off.

“Ever fucked a girl in there?”

Smiling proudly to herself, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, Y/N couldn’t hide her excitement at the sight of the helpless nerdy boy in front of her, struggling to compose himself as words failed to reach his lips. He was closer to choking over his own saliva than giving a decent answer to her invasive interrogations.

He simply decided to shake his head no.

After all, he was being honest. No girl had ever walked into this room before.

Until tonight. Until Y/N.

“Sad. So this bed is only for you to jerk off, hmm?”

Her pout and the way she tilted her head to the side made it difficult for Hongjoong to contain himself. He knew she was purposely pushing all the right buttons, making sure he was crumbling into her palms until he was openly confessing to her. She wasn’t even trying to hide her enthusiasm at the thought of being here, in his room, barely dressed as he ultimately came up with a very shy confirmation of her own statement. Nodding like a puppy caught peeing on a carpet, Hongjoong pressed his middle finger to his glasses, pushing them back up not to look more pitiful than he actually seemed right now.

“Curious about what you’d think about while touching yourself…” She added, still smirking as a devil, her fingers plummeting over her bare thighs like an invitation.

“Ever thought about me?” she smiled, wincing slightly like she didn’t know he was the only girl on his mind whenever his fist found its way into his sweatpants. She couldn’t miss his gaze whenever she walked by or the way he only seemed to see her in a crowded room, smiling shyly when she actually gave him a minute of her precious attention. If anything, Hongjoong was obsessed with her to the point he didn’t even know if he would ever be able to cum to the thought of anyone else.

Not that he wanted to.

Finding himself unable to lie to her face, Hongjoong gave her a simple nod as a silent confession for his late night sins. By now, her nails were grazing her thighs a little deeper, thin white lines following their path as Hongjoong couldn’t help but shiver a little, picturing his own hands kneading her flesh.

“Kneel” she surprisingly commanded, the foot that was previously traveling up and down his leg to briefly brush his throbbing cock now tapping the side of his knee until it bent as Hongjoong immediately granted her wish by falling knees first in front of her, his lips slightly parted as he looked up at her in awe.

Now that she was close enough to stare at his delicate features, Y/N found herself amazed at the sight of his plump, pink lips and the couple freckles scattered all over his cheeks and nose, almost too discrete to be seen if she wasn’t merely an inch away from him, his unstable breathing fanning over her own face.

Sliding over the edge of the mattress, Y/N leaned forward to grab his face between her palms, ghosting her lips over his as a soft chuckle escaped her as soon as Hongjoong took the deepest breath, his entire body shivering from the newly found proximity between them. As much as he tried to collect himself, both his fists tearing his sweatpants apart over his folded thighs, Hongjoong couldn’t contain the surprised groan coming out of his throat the moment her lips crashed upon his. Tracing the outline of his mouth, Y/N took pride in the way Hongjoong seemed to dismantle into her hands, his entire body leaning forward like a magnet that couldn’t be pulled away from her intoxicating scent as he unexpectedly deepened the kiss.

When it came to kissing, Hongjoong was the complete opposite to Seonghwa. While his roommate liked to impose his dominance by holding her jaw still and taking the lead, Hongjoong was far more docile and careful with his moves. There was something about the way his tongue almost shyly explored her mouth, like he was trying to hide his devastating lack of experience while proving himself to her.

Her hands quickly traveled from the back of his neck to his curls, tousling his messy locks between her fingers as she granted him a better, privileged space between her legs. Nervous but completely over the moon, Hongjoong reluctantly broke the kiss to take a couple unsettled breaths, his glossy eyes staring right into her soul.

“Is it— is it okay if I touch you?” He finally dared to ask, his hands almost burning to take a proper grab at the thighs he was only ghosting timidly so far.

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle a little, one of her hands abandoning his mane to palm his fiery cheek while her thumb grazed his plump lips to collect her own saliva with a soft smile.

“You’re really something else, Kim Hongjoong…”

She went silent for a while, staring into his eyes like she was seeing him from a whole new point of view, and while Hongjoong could have taken this remark the wrong way, he was smart enough to realize that, sadly, she was simply not used to men treating her decently - a terrible realization that instantly increased his urge to keep her into his arms and let her know she was safe.

Never breaking their eye-contact, Y/N slowly grabbed both of his hands, guiding him as they traveled along her bare legs as Hongjoong couldn’t help but blush a little harder as he felt goosebumps covering her skin, appalled to even consider the fact he may have had some sort of effect on the girl of his dreams - thinking about it, he was still anxiously waiting to wake up from the obvious dream he was stuck in.

“So now tell me… What would you like to do to me?”

A little taken aback, Hongjoong had to tilt his head downwards, too afraid for her to read his mind through his desperate eyes as his specs once again slipped to the edge of his perfect, pointy nose. Eager to catch every ounce of his reaction, Y/N instantly lifted his chin up to lock his gaze once more, a sincere smile curving her strawberry lips.

“If you can’t speak, you’re gonna have to show me, you know?”

Hongjoong could feel his heartbeat increasing with every second passing by, each of the words coming out her mouth whacking him in the face like an ice bucket. While his skin was covered with a thin coat of sweat, his entire body was shivering, her attitude mixed with their proximity definitely messing with every nerve in his brain. Still, terrified to see her leave as he failed to speak again, Hongjoong surprised himself with his next move as he leaned forward to graze his lips over her neck, pecking a random spot as he waited for her reaction.

The gesture, sweet, tender and yet incredibly intimate, took her by surprise, her hips tilting forward at the sound of his lips smacking together so close to her ear, like a primal reaction from her aching body as desire started to build inside of her. What started as a little game fueled by her compulsory curiosity was slowly backfiring as she pushed her legs together a bit tighter to lock his body between her thighs, her ankles crossed upon his lower-back as Hongjoong took it as a signal to move forward. Though his breathing was hectic and warm against her skin, he seemed to be surprisingly confident with the way his lips traveled up and down her neck, his ego slowly growing as she tried to contain her moan against her tightly shutted lips.

Definitely jacked up on the sounds faintly escaping her mouth as she tilted her head back, Hongjoong allowed his hands to move upwards, pushing past the hem of her oversized sweater, his fingertips flirting with the thin fabric of her underwear until he eventually settled for her hips as he delicately pushed her further towards the edge of the bed as both of their breathing increased under the sudden heat wave gathered through their embrace.

His hungry mouth was all over her neck, nipping along her throat, licking a stripe over her jawline, nibbling at her lips until she was left panting and begging for more, her slightly opened mouth welcoming his surprisingly skilled tongue back for a much longer and fievery kiss that left them both groaning in pure agony once they broke it, a thin string of saliva keeping their mouth tied in the most obscene way.

Looking down to the place where his palm and her most intimate secrets met, Hongjoong couldn’t recall the precise moment when his hand had found its way between her legs but as he looked up into her eyes, looking for a green light, he was more than pleased to see her nod impatiently, waiting for him to cut her out of her misery as his painfully slow kisses had definitely sent her over the edge.

“Tell me when to stop” Hongjoong felt the need to ask as his slightly nervous hands pulled at her underwear, rolling it down her legs until it pooled to the carpeted floor.

Y/N could feel the way her heart seemed to stop every time he asked for permission, her cheeks burning up at the comfort his voice seemed to bring her and the way his hands only seemed to follow her instructions. Hongjoong’s touch was softer than anything she had ever experienced before, every brush of his fingertips filled with adoration as he looked up into her eyes one last time, right before he disappeared between her knees to get a first taste of her inner thigh, his teeth slowly grazing the softest part of her flesh as he took his time to explore that place he had only dreamed of.

Palming her thigh, Hongjoong gently pushed one of her legs a bit further apart, allowing himself a wider access to the spot she needed him the most. Any other man would have probably commented on how wet she already was, bragging about how eager she seemed, desperate to be fucked, but Hongjoong only found some genuine pleasure in the way she instantly pushed her hips forward, her hands landing at the back of his head once again as he took a first, painfully slow taste of her cunt.

When it came to eating pussy, Hongjoong wasn’t exactly the most skilled partner Y/N could have wished for, but to her own surprise, he wasn’t half as bad as most of the men she had been with before. His patience knew no boundary as he made sure to explore every single part of her, darting his tongue to tease her clit every time it landed flat against her aching hole, dripping all over his chin as both of his hands kept her thighs apart so he could feast properly.

Looking down, Y/N was faced with the most beautiful sight of him, the entire bottom half of his precious face buried into her as his lips and chin seemed coated with her own arousal when he finally looked up at her with the softest smile, her heart skipping a beat as he realized just how much she needed him to wreck her insides now. He looked magnificent and painfully innocent as he took a couple kitty licks from her slit, his eyes never leaving hers as her thighs started to shudder slightly, the urge to ruin his perfect face growing wilder as she started to grind a little harder against his mouth, her hands keeping him tightly locked there as he welcomed her assaults with throaty moans while her taste was all over his tongue.

“Fu-u-uck I’m close— keep going— don’t you fucking stop” she yelped, her hips chasing climax as she started quivering. His hands traveling up her chest as his mouth relentlessly guided her to the the edge, Hongjoong started to palm her breast, her hardened buds rolling against his fingertips, collecting a louder moan as he flicked her nipples and kneaded her flesh until she was left shaking and whining, almost begging him to stop as his lips remained tightly wrapped around her clit, cheeks hollowed as he sucked a couple more desperate pleas out of her.

Panting- out of breath- Y/N suddenly felt dizzy as she took a couple blinks towards the ceiling, the three paper planes spiraling at a crazy pace to match the intensity of her heartbeat as she struggled to come down from her high. She looked absolutely fucked out as she rested above the bed, slightly to the side with her sweater up her tits while Hongjoong kept a delicate trail of sloppy kisses along her legs, knees and thighs, his chin brushing against her stomach as he finally crawled back up and on top of her.

“Are you okay?”

Again, the innocence, the kindness, his absolute pure heart.

Brushing a hand through his damp hair, Y/N simply nodded as their lips crashed together through a soft kiss. She could still taste herself all over his tongue as he inhaled through their embrace, his heart filled with nothing but absolute bliss.

Burying her head into his neck, Y/N only now realized just how good he smelled, the delicacy of his perfume wrapping her into a comforting place she surprisingly wished she could call hers as her hands traveled down to his sweatpants, pulling at the two strings that kept it tight against his bony hips, ready to return the favor when he suddenly grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“You don’t have to do this– not tonight…” He whispered, pushing their foreheads together as she gave him a little pout, hoping to collect more of those timid moans he had granted her while going down on her. Still, it was once again completely new to have a man declining a payback, especially when it involved her doing all the work while he laid flat on his back, enjoying the sight of a mouthful.

While she couldn’t deny how much she appreciated him for it, Y/N was still hungry for more, every fiber of her skin burning with need as she bathed herself in Hongjoong’s now familiar scent. Her hand still close to his painfully hard cock, Y/N took the opportunity of a peaceful moment of intimacy to pull down his pants and guide him towards her entrance without a word.

Taken off guard, his mouth agape, Hongjoong locked his gaze with her as she wrapped her legs around his hips, pushing him forward until he was completely buried, her tight cunt swallowing him up entirely as he slowly filled her up to the brim.

“Don’t move. Just stay like that for a while” she instructed, her hands pushing his hair back as she once again melted her lips with his, enjoying the simple feeling of being completely filled. There was something terribly intimate in the way their bodies connected, never breaking apart or moving an inch until she finally allowed him to.

Hongjoong wasn’t exactly a rough lover, but his thrusts weren’t as soft and tender as she expected them to be. Her fists tightening around a couple of his locks, Y/N covered her screams against his shoulder, taking a soft bite into his flesh as Hongjoong took a strong grip of her hips to slowly push himself back in, deeper with each thrust as they started to build a comfortable yet intense pace together. There was no miracle to this situation as Hongjoong knew he wouldn’t last long. As much as he wished he could have stolen another orgasm from the girl of his dreams, there was so much he could take after everything happening to him tonight.

Collecting her hands from the back of his head, Hongjoong pushed their intertwined fingers into the mattress on each side of her face as he increased the pace, his eyebrows knitted together as he could feel himself reaching climax a bit faster every time she swallowed him back, her tightness almost suffocating his throbbing cock as he reached for her lips, taking a surprising bite into her flesh as his moans turned into the most delicious whimpering, his hips jolting uncontrollably while he suddenly pulled out, hoping to collect his release into his palm but failing miserably as it pooled all over Y/N’s stomach.

Red at the cheeks, Hongjoong instantly collapsed on top of her, his tired lips coming up with some barely audible apologies for the mess he had made. His heart was thumping against her chest as she wrapped him into her arms, his damp hair glued to her neck as he tried to collect himself.

Pecking his forehead tenderly, Y/N looked up to the ceiling while listening to Hongjoong’s heavy breathing, hoping to see more of the paper planes in the future.

#ateez smut #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong #ateez #hongjoong x reader #nerdy hongjoong

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charmedreincarnation · 5 months

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hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

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j-eryewrites · 6 months

Text

All of You

MAIN MASTER LIST

ANON Request: Okay I can't have enough Sherlock angst so maybe just some feels or kidnapping or something like that. Thanks for your great work <3🙇🏼‍♀️

ANON REQUEST 2: I love your fics 💕💕 if requests are open, could you do one with BBC Sherlock in which the reader is kidnapped? (but they both have not confessed their love for each other yet, and the kidnapping perhaps prompts Sherlock to confess. idk up to you!) i just l o v e your Sherlock one shots!!

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Haunted house, drugging, weapons, canon typical violence, kind of OOC Sherlock, cursing (Let me know if I have missed anything)

Author's Note: So, I got two requests A WHILE AGO and they were so similar I just decided to combine the two of them. (Requests are still not open, I’m just getting to the ones I never got around to writing to.) As for requests, I will be opening them back up once Arbitrary Lives and A Sinner's Redemption have concluded, so start thinking of some request ideas!!

The irony of the situation did not evade you. Sherlock’s latest case involved a serial killer. A serial killer who they were looking for at an abandoned haunted house attraction. The home wasn’t actually haunted, it was just a place years ago that would host a scary Halloween amusement park. However, that information did little to ease your nerves. What made things worse was that Sherlock suggested to split up. You, John, and he would all go separate ways to search for the killer.

Immediately, you had declined. You've seen too many horror movies with John to know that splitting up was the worst thing you could do. Not to mention the experiences you’ve had working with the consulting detective for years. Never split up, that’s what you told yourself, yet here you were, by yourself, walking down the dimly lit halls of the gigantic house. Your mind ran a-wire with the thought of how many hidden rooms and passageways that could be kept in the walls. That image alone terrified you.

With each step you took the house creaked and groaned. If that wasn’t a big neon sign blaring to the killer that you were there, you didn’t know what it was. You couldn’t but wince as the whole house squeaked with your latest step and at that point, you weren’t sure why you were trying to be quiet.

Muttering curses under your breath you lowered your torch and turned around. You wanted to find Sherlock or John. Their presence made you feel safer and all you wanted to be right now was safe. Your body shivered as a chill crept up your legs to the back of your neck. The waves of nerves tickled the minuscule hairs on your body and if this was a horror movie eerie music would be playing.

“Why did the killer have to be in a haunted house,” you whined as you approached the stairs to the bottom floor of the home where you last saw your tall consulting detective.

Looking down the wooden steps you searched for the bright light of Sherlock’s torch. There was no light to be found. You sighed and pulled out your phone trying to be smart about this. The bright screen of your phone illuminated your view darkening everything behind and in front of you. Your fingers danced across the screen as you pulled up Sherlock’s contact. You pressed a button. The screen flashed with Sherlock’s name and your phone buzzed. But before you could speak or before Sherlock could answer, everything went black.

There was something so insightful about being knocked out: the darkness of everything, the pain you felt in the back of your head like a soundtrack, and the erasure of all feelings. It was almost impossible to feel terrified about the haunted house when you weren’t even conscious in the first place. It was oddly peaceful and quiet, something you haven’t known in a long time since working for Sherlock. You weren’t sure how you became unconscious in the first place. As you lay in the darkness, there was one thought floating around in your mind. Shit.

____

“You’re finally awake,” a hoarse voice cooed.

A harsh light crept into your view causing you to wince. You longed for the darkness that you were encased in moments before. Soon your eyes adjusted to the bright light and began to take in your surroundings.

First things first, you were strapped down to a table. The straps were extremely tight leaving you with barely any room to breathe. You gulped and began to twist underneath the straps. If you could move in the first place.

The voice tsked before laughing. “It’ll be a while before you can move. The paralytic works fast.” Your eyes widened and you began to whimper. “Don’t worry, you can still scream.”

That when you saw them, your captor and the killer. Dauning a medical mask and surgical wear they leaned in close and sniffed you. You closed your eyes at the proximity, wishing that they wouldn't be real if you couldn’t see them. “I can smell the fear coming off of you. It’s intoxicating,” your captor chuckled.

“No…” you whimpered. Your voice was barely audible.

The killer pulled back away from you. “No?”

In your mind, you could go two ways. The first option, go with the idea that your “no” was terrified and try and plead with the killer. It was dignified and kind of cowardly but it was what you wanted to go with. Second, you could play it off cool. Well, as cool as you could while being strapped to a table with the killer’s face hovering over you. You could fight back. Taunt him and maybe provide Sherlock and John with enough time to try and find you. God, you hoped that they’d find you and that your brilliant consulting detective could solve the case. Now that you thought about it the second option seemed more plausible.

“No, he’s going to find me. He’ll beat you. That’s what he does,” you muttered. Your voice still trembled as you delivered this line, but your eyes conveyed your determination and belief in what you said.

All enjoyment from the killer’s face vanished and a darker expression replaced it. The look they were giving you would have paralyzed you if you weren’t already drugged. Their breath was scalding hot as they breathed into your ear. “He’ll never figure it out.”

You scoffed. “You’re wrong.”

“Am I? He hasn’t even figured out that you’re gone.” They pulled down their medical mask to flash you a wicked grin. “This house has so many rooms. Twist and turns. You’ll be dead before he finds this room.

You paled. All hope of playing it cool dissipated. You were terrified: Breath evaded you, your heart beat faster than it ever had before, your blood ran cold, and tiny beads of sweat encased your body.

“I’m right. You can even see him here,” the killer pulls up video footage of the house. In the middle of all the split screens, you can see Sherlock and John searching. A tight pain in your chest formed at the sight. “You know that your dear detective is too enamored with the case to remember that others exist. It’s a game and he wants to win, even if it means some of his teammates get left behind.” You can’t help the tears that pool in your eyes causing them to laugh. “It’ll be too late when he realizes it and the closest thing he’ll have to you again are the organs that will be in the bodies of others. You’ll be de–”

“Wrong.”

You sobbed upon hearing that voice. It was Sherlock. He was here. He had come. The killer whirled around to find Sherlock standing with a gun in his hand aimed at them.

“How…” the killer said.

“Should’ve checked your cameras, then you would have realized they were on a loop,” the comforting voice of John spoke.

The killer’s jaw clenched.

“John,” Sherlock said. “ Get Y/N.”

John snuck out behind Sherlock and carefully moved over to you. His eyes scanned over your distressed figure as his hands began to fiddle with the straps.

“It’s alright, Y/N,’ John whispered as he untied the woman.

“I can’t,” you shook your head. “...I can’t move.”

John’s eyes filled with worry as the killer chuckled. “She’s paralyzed. I wouldn’t move her if I were you.” The killer turned around to look back down at you.

“If you move one more centimeter there will be a bullet lodged in your head,” Sherlock growled.

“You wouldn’t,” the killer hissed.

“On the contrary. I like to win my games, even if it means that the rules are bent.” Sherlock’s eyes were glaring at the killer.

Suddenly a muffled voice came from above. It was Lestrade. “Sherlock?”

“Down here, Gary!”

Time seemed to move superficially fast as the police entered the basement. However, time stilled the moment Sherlock retrieved you. John tried his best to pick you up but with the combination of his size and your apparent unmoving state, he found himself useless. Instead, Sherlock stepped up. With limp limbs and a stiff body, Sherlock lifted you off the cold and hard metal table. His gentle hand cradled your head as your body curled into him. He carried you as if you were the most precious and fragile things in the world. His secure and stable arms wrapped around you, pulling you immensely too close to his body, but you did not mind. He was warm and you were cold. He was safe and you were scared. Sherlock was exactly what you needed, and he was there. He was always there for you.

Soon the blaring lights of the police cars filled your vision, concealing the ambulance waiting for you. You hated you couldn’t cling to Sherlock as he passed you over to the EMTs. They scanned your body checking for injuries and asking you questions while they did so. With each response and your insistence on your perfectly fine well-being, the EMTs grew more and more concerned. They wanted to take you to the hospital, but that was the last place you wanted to be: being strapped down to a table, with an IV in your arm, the medical masks, and scrubs. It was all too much too soon. The fear in your eyes was apparent at their conclusion, but before you could open your mouth to display your concerns, Sherlock spoke.

“She’ll be coming home with me.”

“But sir, she’s still drugged and paral–,” the EMT began.

“If you just used your eyes, you would see that the hospital is the last place she wants to be,” Sherlock interjected.

The EMT briefly gazed over at you before recognizing the truth in Sherlock’s words.

“She still needs to be checked on after th–”

“I’m a doctor, I can make sure everything is alright,” John chimed in.

You looked at John and gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” your hoarse voice whispered.

John smiled back. The EMT looked between the three of you and sighed placing her hands on her hips. “Alright, I’ll sign off on the paperwork and she’s free to go.”

The moment the paperwork was signed, you were whisked back to Baker Street. Sherlock never left your side as he carried you into his and John’s shared flat and placed you down on their sofa. Mrs.Hudson had brought up tea and snacks in an attempt to get something into your stomach. However, the idea of shifting your body to raise your arms and extend your hand to retrieve the cup of tea and biscuits seemed too big of an ordeal. You were exhausted. Instead, you found the weight of your head too much to bear and collapsed onto Sherlock’s shoulder. With one look, John and Mrs. Hudson ushered themselves out of the flat.

Your body was still trembling as the mental scars still flashed vividly in your mind.

“You’re safe,” Sherlock hummed in a soothing voice. His gentle arms came up to wrap around your torse encouraging a wave of stillness to course through your body. You weren’t sure of what to say. So many ifs running through your head, so you settled for a thank you.

Sherlock responded by pulling you closer. “I’ll always find you.”

A watery smile appeared on your face. It was a smile that you forced as tears crept into the corner of your eyes. “Well, if you hadn’t made it in time, I would have given you my skull. That way you’d always have me on your mantel.” You tried to laugh. It was a poor attempt at a joke and you weren’t really sure why you were making it. You just did.

Sherlock pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. You tried to look away, but his firm hand cupped your chin directing your gaze at him. “No. I don’t want your skull. I want you alive and safe. Anything less and I’ll never be satisfied.”

His eyes seemed to glow as you stared into them. The gorgeous blue lulled you in like a siren at sea. You couldn’t turn away as he brought your face closer to wipe away the tears that had fallen from your face.

“Okay,” you said in a hushed tone.

Sherlock seemed content with that answer and pulled you in to brush his lips against your forehead. He wanted to do more but now wasn’t the time. He wanted to whisper his heart and soul’s greatest secret into your ears and breathe it into your skin. He wanted you, all of you, but for now, holding you close, your heart thumping against each other, and the peaceful melody of your breath against his neck was all he needed.

____

Comment below if you would like to be added to the Sherlock One shot tag list! Feel free to reblog or comment, I love hearing from readers.

Tag list:

@bartokthealbinobat

@astudyinlaura

@sherlockstrangewolf

@yourleastfavoriteguyinthechair

______

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

Note

Ignore this if you feel uncomfortable with this!

Hey, so like, may I ask if you could do like a reader with inverted n!pples dating larissa ands it's their first time having sex and r is rlly nervous bc of their breasts ? thanks in advance!

-v

Not odd but unique 18+

*Authors note~ I had to do some research into this so please correct me if I'm wrong with any parts of this. Please remember all bodies are different and unique and that's what makes them beautiful*

Trigger warnings~ inverted nipples, first time (virgin r) corruption kink, mommy kink, worship kink oral fingering

Prompt~ see ask ^^^^

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

For you, accepting yourself had always been difficult, you knew you were different. There was only about ten to twenty percent of women in the world like you. That statistic alone showing just how rare it was and unheard of it was for anyone who didn't live with them. It also made you so self conscious, you were so careful with any clothing you wore and made sure no one would ever see, afraid of the comments that would undoubtedly voice your own negative thoughts.

When Larissa asked you to be her girlfriend you felt like the most beautiful woman in the world, until you remembered that in a relationship sex would be important, not the most important thing but still important. Larissa knew you had no experience in the subject and she was more than happy to wait as long as you needed until you felt comfortable, she reminded you of that fact all the time and made sure to tell you daily how beautiful you are.

You let months pass without any thought of the act, until you realised you were more than ready to let Larissa have her way with you, if only you could let go of the fear. For the next few months anytime you spent alone you tried to give yourself positive affirmations. Anything that would help you love your body for you. Truly, you knew Larissa wasn't superficial and you knew she loved you for your heart so you had absolutely nothing to worry about. That's why after a year and six months of nothing you decided tonight would be the night. You'd brave it.

Your night started the same, you lay on her sofa with a glass of wine and a book in front of the burning fire while she sat, your legs on her lap finishing last minute emails and basking in the togetherness. Only when she was done for the night did you mark your place in your book and sitting up looking at your girlfriend. She was truly beautiful and you knew how insecure she could be so you wanted to explain before attempting what you'd planned.

"Rissa?" You murmured as your eyes scanned er features before settling on starring into those deep blue eyes, "I think I'm ready. I just need to explain something to you before if that's okay?" Your last bit came off as nothing more than a whisper soaked in vulnerability. She reached to gather your hands in hers, thumbs stroking soothing circles on your hands. "Anything darling. I'm all ears."

With a deep breath you started not realising just how hard this would be, "you're beautiful Ris. I want you to remember that and it's not you, I mean I um I'm not what's considered normal and I didn't want to repulse you" you whimpered at the end, truly you didn't want to make her disgusted by your body. "Darling, you could never repulse me, you're beautiful too my love" she words soaked in love and reassurance caused tears to fall from your eyes, "oh baby don't cry! You aren't meant to cry my love" she rushed coming to wipe your tears away before placing a sweet kiss on your lips. "I'm ready Rissa please" you whimpered against her lips before claiming them again.

The pair of you stumbled into her bedroom, lips never leaving each others. Only when oxygen became a must die you pull apart foreheads resting against one an other, "darling, you're sure? You know you don't have too?" Larissa murmured to you wanting to know you knew that you had a choice. For you, here and now you didn't care that you were different all you wanted was to be hers. Completely hers. "Ris, please I want you to be my first" you confirmed and that was all it took for her lips to kiss down your neck before finding your pulse point. The little whines of need you were letting out was driving the older women wild, you soon found your way to her bed, flat on your back as she hoovered above you. Truly there was no better sight to see.

You could feel your body tense as she took your top from your body, now being left in just a bra the panic swarming behind your eyes was obvious. "Darling? Are you okay?" She murmured not wanting you to be uncomfortable in any way shape or form. Instead of verbally responding you sat up slightly, unclipped your bra with your eyes screwed shut and laid back against the bed. You heard a gasp and immediately feared the worst, hands coming up to cover your breasts as you mumbled out apologies, "I'm sorry I know I'm odd, disgusting repulsing I'm sorry!" You all but cried out only to be met with her gently hushing you and prying your hands from your chest.

"Open your eyes baby" she gently demanded and the submissive streak in you responded instantly, eyes popping open to see her lustful one's. "You're not odd darling, just unique. Is this why you've been so worried?" You nodded your words getting stuck in your throat, not odd? That didn't make sense. Larissa dropped her head to shower your left breast with all the love and attention it truly deserves, moaning against your skin as you whined at the attention. It truly felt amazing, something you'd never thought you'd ever experience. Larissa made sure she'd kissed every inch of skin before moving on to the right breast and repeating her process. Only when she was fully satisfied she'd kissed every inch did she sit back up bringing both hands to a breast and cupping them. "You darling, are stunning and I'd very much like to continue showing you that mommy adores your perfect body" she murmured watching your eyes darken in need at the name, "can you be a good girl for mommy baby?" She purred and you nodded tugging at her dress in a silent reminder she had too many clothes on.

From that moment on clothes were torn from bodies in a hurry, kisses and hands roaming the newly exposed skin until you both lay bare. Larissa then kissed her way down to your freshly shaved core, kissing over your thighs avoiding where she knew you wanted her. You buck your hips upward in an attempt to get more, anything just something causing her to chuckle before coming to take a swipe of your soaked cunt. Only then did you fall flat back on the bed and mumble, "oh fuck me more" which Larissa was more than happy to give you.

She gently brought you over the edge and back down again whispering words of love and reassurance before offering you more, you blindly agreed when you felt her finger tips dancing over your slit. "Darling? Look at mommy, I want to see your eyes as I make you mine, that's it good girl keep them open my love" she purred before sinking her middle finger into your needy cunt. You couldn't help but cry out at the feeling and attempt to follow her demand, only when her finger was as deep as it could go did she purr, "you're mine now baby, all mine!" Loving how you fight you were wrapped around her she curled her finger slightly watching as pleasure flashed over your facial features once more.

After finding that steady rhythm, Larissa brought you over the edge and even managed to add a second finger, your body exploding with pleasure like nothing you'd ever experienced before. "Ris ris fuck please Ris" you whined over and over again. Where you begging for more or for her to stop? You weren't even sure as you flew over that edge, white hot pleasure tearing its way though your body as she fucked you through it. "That's it good girl, so good for me darling, you're so beautiful" she murmured kissing your stomach until she slipped her fingers from your core, a little hiss of pain left you at the sting she left, not quite unpleasant but not something you were use to. "Okay baby, no more you did so good, no more tonight okay? Mommy needs to clean you up thought gorgeous girl can I?"

With you all cleaned up from the mess you'd made and Larissa holding your naked body to her own as your mind came back from the world of pleasure you whined, "Rissa I didn't touch you!" You attempted to move only for her to hold you still, "there's plenty of time for that darling but I wanted you to feel special. Me being your first was special enough and just wait till I get you bouncing those beautiful tits in my face as you ride me" her words were enough to have a heat spreading over your cheeks, this women would certainly be the death of you, you never thought someone could love you for what you considered odd, but it's true what they say, "beauty is different in every eye of the beholder." You mumbled happily snuggling into your girlfriend. "Tonight was perfect, love you Ris so much" you whispered before falling asleep pressed into her side.

Word count ~ 1642

#fanfic #anon answered #larissa weems #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa x reader #larissa x you #larissa weems smut #larissa weems x reader #principal larissa weems #weems x reader #weems #principal weems #anon requested #anon v

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missmaywemeetagain · 10 months

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Red Scarf, a Scarf Universe 🔥🧣🔥Exclusive!

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A/N: Well, my loves, here's the first Scarf Universe exclusive!! 🔥🧣🔥 It is part of the Pink Scarf Universe and takes place in 1972, in the year after Something Blue. (You don’t need to read SB beforehand, but little Nicholas is mentioned briefly.)

This is 5k of utter filth. It’s pretty much porn with very little plot! I highly recommend finding a private corner where you can read this alone and uninterrupted. 😏 I usually don’t like giving things away in the warnings, but this one is naughty and needs them. If you want to be surprised, feel free to skip the TW below! 💋

TW: SEXXX, ’72 dom E, praise kink, light bondage, cussing, baby talk, fingering, p in v, anal play/fingering, surprise consent, creampie, lots of whimpering and moaning, you know the drill…

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SNEEK PEEK:

Graceland, 1972

“What are we going to do with all these scarves?”

There are just so many of them. You had no idea just how many Elvis had amassed in the past few years. Scarves in every color of the rainbow, some solid, some patterned, some short, some long. A veritable smorgasbord of silk. No wonder his closet was bursting at the seams.

You lean in, drawing in the distinctly spicy scent of him locked into the soft fabric, running your fingers through them hanging in his large closet.

“Oh, I can think of a few things we could do, darlin’,” he breathes in your ear, voice smooth and buttery as he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulling you into him, you feel the roaring heat of him against your back, blazing through you, stoking warmth low in your belly.

“E, we’re supposed to be cleaning things out and here you are being distracting,” you attempt to scold him, but it comes out as a breathy sigh instead. He nuzzles into your neck, his pillowy lips lighting fires across your skin. A tiny gasp falls from your lips, turning into a hum when he flattens a palm over your hip—a gentle press backwards that he meets with his pelvis.

“What about Nicky?” you whisper, your hand reaching up to graze Elvis’ jaw and your body responding in an almost Pavlovian way to his touch.

Finding time for intimacy with a two-year-old toddling around could be challenging to say the least. It had certainly been an adjustment when your family grew suddenly last year, though you both always made a conscious effort to make time for each other in that way. It was nearly impossible not to. You both had so much lost time to make up for and it showed in your private (and sometimes public) moments.

“Oh, he’s fine,” he reassures you, flitting his fingers down the side of your body. “He’s outside with Patsy and Dodger and the other kids. Nothin’ to worry about. Just you and lil’ ol’ me, up here all alone.” His lip slowly quirks up into a salacious grin.

His free hand pulls one of the scarves—a fiery red one with bold, black trim—off its hanger.

Your heart flutters. This scarf sticks out in your memory because there was one time at the International when he’d worn it after a show and looked so outrageously handsome, so haughtily debonair, you’d nearly come apart just from staring at him. And if memory serves, you came apart many times that night, after all was said and done. The thought melts through you, stoking the embers in your belly.

Elvis quite deftly winds the silk over your eyes. Robbed of your sight, your lips fall open, and you are only able to get out a hushed, “What are—?” before he shushes you. His warm breath tickles the shell of your ear and sends a cascade of shivers down your spine.

There’s a grin evident in his tone when you attempt to remove the scarf that has suddenly darkened your world. “Nuh uh, no touching,” he tsks, playfully slapping at your hand.

With your sight gone, your other senses begin to go on high alert. Heat is coming off him in waves. Having showered not long ago, your nose is filled with his clean scent of Neutrogena soap and Brut cologne, but there is a sudden muskiness on his breath that unlocks something deeply primal inside you.

It sends you squirming in his arms, and you are desperate to feel his skin against yours.

Instead, he clamps his arm around yours from behind, effectively trapping you against him. “What a naughty lil’ girl,” he growls. “I guess you need some help followin’ instructions, don’tcha?”

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eddievanhammettmunson · 2 years

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Milkshakes, Memories and Promises.

Author's note- hello lovely little monsters. It’s me again with another one shot. I hope you enjoy it. 6.5k words.

Warnings- 18++++ MINORS DNI I BEG I BEG I BEG. Anyways. We have drug use (marijuana), violence, smut p in v protected (wrap it up guys), maybe angst? Sort of I guess. Fluffy

Summary- after being attacked in the upside down you make a promise to bring your injured friend milkshakes everyday until he’s better.

Walking into the diner you hear the familiar chime of the bell above the door. As you walk in you’re greeted by Benny at the counter.

“You want the usual?”

“Yup.”

“Same flavors and to-go?”

“You know me too well Benny.”

He turned around and walked back to the kitchen to get you what you had ordered and you waited in the diner. Earning some harsh stares from fellow customers. Anyone who knew you in this town had you down as a fellow freak.

Ever since you started hanging out with Eddie that horrible week when all the upside down stuff happened yet again. The town didn’t look upon your friendship kindly. Especially being an old friend of Chrissy Cunningham and then hanging out with the guy the town thinks killed her.

You tried not to let it get to you though. Standing tall and refusing to meet the eyes of your fellow patrons. It didn’t matter what they thought because you knew the truth. Eddie was your friend and he was innocent. That’s what mattered. Even after having his name cleared in the papers the town still didn’t seem to believe it however.

On the way to Eddie’s trailer you couldn’t help but grow more excited to see him. After almost dying in the upside down he was still recovering. You brought it upon yourself to go visit him at least once a day as often as you could. To see how his recovery was going.

He still had quite a bit of recovering to do but now that he was actually out of the hospital and back in his trailer it made things somewhat easier. Definitely made Eddie a lot happier.

Arriving at the trailer you get out of the car and walk up to the door knocking a couple times before Wayne swung the door open. Letting you inside as you made a b line for Eddie’s room.

Knocking on the door you’re greeted by his voice. “Come in!”

As you do you take in your surroundings. The room is still a mess as always despite picking up Everytime you come over. Turning your attention to where Eddie is on his bed. He’s shirtless but a large majority of his body is still wrapped in bandages. He’s sat up and has sweetheart in his lap as he attempts to strum away. He looks up briefly to look at you and flashes a smile.

“What ever did you bring me today princess?”

“A million dollars in a styrofoam cup.”

He holds out his hand and you walk over to him placing the cup in his hand. He quickly brings the straw of the cup to his lips and begins to suck on the straw. You watch as the chocolate milkshake makes its way up the straw and to his mouth.

“Man. A million dollars tastes amazing.”

“It should. I’m pretty sure that’s how much I’ve spent buying milkshakes everyday.”

“I keep telling you sweetheart you don’t have to bring me milkshakes everyday.”

“I know but I made a promise and I intend to keep that promise.”

“I wasn’t even conscious for that promise so it doesn’t really count.”

“If anything that makes it count to me more.”

Eddie rolled his eyes playfully and turned his attention back to his guitar as he continued strumming away. Trying to remember the correct finger placements but quickly becoming frustrated.

He set sweetheart down on the bed a little rougher than he meant to. After apologizing to his guitar he leaned back against the wall and sighed.

“Still having trouble?”

Eddie sat up and looked at you. He clearly looked frustrated.

“I just don’t get it. It’s not like I forgot how to play. I know how to play. I just can’t make my hands do it.”

“Your body is still healing Eddie. Plus you’re covered in all those bandages. I’m sure when you’re fully healed you’ll be able to play just like you used to. And I just heard you strumming. You sounded great to me.”

“I just know what I’m capable of. And it’s hard knowing I can’t do that.”

You stood there for a second leaning against his dresser. Looking around for a moment before your eyes land on his acoustic guitar. You read the words that say “this machine slays dragons” and you move to pick it up. As you hold it you turn back to Eddie.

“How about you teach me?”

“What?”

“Teach me. Maybe teaching me will help you in the long run.”

“I guess that’s not a bad idea. C’mere.”

He patted the spot in front of him on the bed and you moved to sit in front of him. Facing him.

“What are you doing?” He looked at you with a confused expression as you sat on the bed.

“What do you mean what am I doing?”

“No. Why are you sitting there? C’mere”.

He grabbed your arm gently and moved you closer to him. Allowing him to manhandle you a bit he maneuvered you to where you’re sitting between his legs against his chest. You’re clearly hesitant to lean against him.

“Here y/n lean back a bit.”

You turn around to look at him.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t worry. You’re not gonna hurt me. Promise if you do I’ll let you know.”

He does a little salute towards you and you turn your attention back to the guitar in your hands. So you lean back and he puts your hands in his.

Maybe just maybe. You hadn’t thought this through. Being so close to him having him wrapped around you meant your thoughts were all filled with him as you desperately tried to clear your mind and focus on the task at hand.

As he sat there and moved your hands to the correct placements he began to teach you just basic chords over and over again. Your breath hitched slightly as he rested his head in the crook of your shoulder. You didn’t turn to face him but you were sure there was a blush on your face that you’d hoped he didn’t notice.

After practicing for a few hours and memorizing a few chords you decide to call it quits when your fingers begin to hurt too bad. So you set the guitar down on his bed and without thinking you lean back into the same spot against Eddie’s chest but he doesn’t protest. Instead he takes your hands in his and brings them up to his lips. Kissing the pads of your fingers one by one.

“You’re a natural you know.”

“Pffft sure.”

“No, I mean it. You learn pretty quick. A few more lessons and you’ll be a rockstar in no time.”

Your hand is still in his as you turn your head enough to gaze up at him. As you gaze into his eyes there’s a certain tension in the air. You both begin to lean in when there’s a knock at the door that causes you to jump out of Eddie’s lap.

Wayne comes walking in and points at you.

“Y/n your folks called. Your mom said it’s dinner time and wants to know if you’re going home or spending the night here.”

Eddie chirped in rather enthusiastically.

“You could stay the night y/n! I love it when you stay over pleaseeeeeeeee!”

You laugh a little bit and start gathering your things.

“Maybe tomorrow night but I promised my mom I’d help her make salsa for her cookout so maybe tomorrow night.”

Eddie sighs and leans back against the wall behind his bed. “You and your promises.”

He laughs to himself.

You walk over and give him a gentle hug before exiting his room and then the trailer to head home for the day.

****

The next day was Friday. Which meant before getting the milkshakes it meant you had to stop by the school and pick up the kids for hellfire. You were sat outside the school waiting as Jeff, Gareth, Dustin, Lucas, Will, and Mike walked out of the double doors and towards your car.

Dustin called shotgun and raced to the car before anybody could challenge him for the seat. The rest of the boys climbed their way into the back and smushed together. As you drove to the diner all the boys pestered you about getting the milkshake for Eddie.

“Come on man. It’s so obvious that she likes him?” Lucas and Mike continued to debate loud enough for you to hear clear as day.

You reached around your seat as best you could without taking your eyes off the road. Smacking whoever was back there to get the point across. Missing Lucas entirely and making Mike take the brunt of the hit.

“Stop saying that as if I’m not here you two.”

Lucas throws his hands up in surrender as like pats his leg in pain.

As you approach the diner the boys start begging for milkshakes and sweets. You agree to buy Dustin, Will, Mike and Lucas milkshakes but Gareth and Jeff decline the offer. Choosing to stay in the car.

You exit the vehicle and bring the kids into the restaurant. Benny greets you at the counter and begins in kind.

“You want the usual?”

“Yup the usual but with a few extras here for the kiddos.”

“Ah what flavors will the kiddos be havin?”

You point at Dustin. “Chocolate!”

Point to Lucas “strawberry!”

Point to Mike “vanilla!”

Point to Will. Will looks up at you. “What do you get y/n?”

“I get a vanilla and chocolate swirl.”

“I’ll have one of those then.”

Benny finishes writing down the order and moves back into the kitchen to begin making the milkshakes. As you and the boys stand in the diner yet again you feel all the eyes in the restaurant on you.

You know Will can feel it too as he becomes more stiff and rigid. If the other boys noticed they don’t seem to let it bother them. That is until a group of boys from school get up and walk past all of you to exit the restaurant.

They shove past Dustin rather hard and bump and jostle you and the other boys. As they bump into you and jostle you, you trip and fall knocking the side of your face into a table. The boys that had made this happen are laughing as they walk out the door. Not bothering to stop and help you.

The person to help you up first and check on you is Dustin. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m good.”

“You’re bleeding?”

“Yup.”

Dustin could see on your face that this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened to you. All the boys could suddenly tell. They all knew why and what you were going through.

Dustin patted your shoulder for a second and then reached towards the counter to grab some napkins. Mike came over and did the same. Helping you into a chair as they began to patch you up.

Eventually they cleaned up your face as best as they could but the scrape on your cheek was still fairly visible. You knew Eddie would ask about it. Benny re-emerged from the kitchen with a tray full of styrofoam cups and began handing them to the children. As he does you attempt to hand him money for the shakes. Benny nods his head and holds out his hand to stop you.

“Don’t worry about it. I put it on Troy Walshes tab. He don’t get to treat my customers like that and get away with it.”

You flash a slight smile as Benny hands you your milkshake and you all leave the building. Piling into the car and making your way towards Eddie’s trailer.

****

As you pulled up to Eddie’s trailer you mentally debated on whether or not you should even go in now. There was no way he wasn’t going to see what had happened to your cheek and you weren’t going to lie about it. You knew he would be made or feel bad about it and that’s the last thing you want.

As you exit the vehicle with two milkshakes in hand. You walk up to the trailer door and the boys follow. As you knock on the door instead of being greeted by Wayne like usual you’re immediately greeted with a standing Eddie clutching his side.

His smile is bright and wild until his eyes land on your face and his smile drops immediately.

“Y/n? Jesus what happened to you?”

You inhaled and looked at the boys behind you. You hadn’t even entered the trailer yet and now here you were frozen outside trying to come up with an explanation.

Mike quickly cleared his throat and pushed you further towards Eddie and the door.

“I was uh at the diner. Had a run in with one of the kids' old bullies, that's all.”

“Wait. Those assholes did this to you?” He moved closer and gently cupped your face in his hands. “Why?” He practically whispered.

You pulled your face away and moved past him into the trailer. Without answering the question. “I could be asking you why you’re out of bed. They haven’t cleared you from bed rest yet. At least not that Wayne has told me.”

Eddie sighs as he holds the door open for the rest of the kids to pile their way into the trailer.

“Needed to stretch my legs a bit and set up for hellfire sweetheart.”

You set the milkshakes down on the coffee table for a second before grabbing a sharpie nearby and quickly writing your names on each styrofoam cup so there would be no confusion as to who’s cup was whose. You pass the sharpie to each of the kids when you’re done.

You can’t help but smile when you realize each of the kids have written their Dungeons and Dragons names on their cups as opposed to their real names. When they give the sharpie back to you, you cross out Eddie’s name and replace it with “Dungeon Master”.

You move from the couch when Eddie sits down and you watch as all the kids gather around the coffee table. Taking a seat in a nearby recliner you watch as they begin their campaign.

You watch as Eddie attempts to do his usual theatrics but has to hold himself back due to his injuries. Having to stop and take more breaths. After one particular dramatic scene where he had jumped up and stood on the couch, Eddie had to pause the campaign and sit down after becoming dizzy. It was clearly frustrating him.

***

After the campaign ended and Wayne decided to go take the kids home one by one, you stayed and cleaned up the campaign aftermath with Eddie. What that really means is you attempted to keep Eddie from cleaning but he refused. Insisting he was fine and that he would be able to handle it.

“Y/n for the last time. Picking up garbage isn’t going to kill me.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe the garbage is enchanted and if you touch it you’ll go into a sleep like death.”

“Well then I will be the knight in shining armor who takes it in hand to stop the fair maiden from getting even more injured on my behalf.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on y/n. I’m not stupid. I know why those guys did that to you.” Eddie pointed to your face where the scrape from hitting the table was.

“Eddie, it has nothing to do with you. Those guys are just assholes.”

“That’s bullshit y/n. The boys have told me how people treat you now….now that you hangout with me….I was thinking you know maybe we should st-“

“If you finish that sentence Eddie I will punch you in the gut. I’m not going to stop hanging out with you just cause some people in this town want to be assholes. That’s never going to be enough to make me leave you. So stop it.”

Eddie nodded his head and looked down at the floor. The two of you continued to clean in silence.

****

After a while of cleaning you and Eddie head to his room and begin to get high. Passing the joint back and forth as the both of you sat with your backs to the wall. Sitting so close that you draped your legs over his and his hands absentmindedly stroked your legs.

After you both were sufficiently high Eddie claps his hands together. “Okay y/n go grab the guitar.”

His clap startled you out of your high so you stood up and walked over to where sweetheart was hanging on the mirror. As you reached for it Eddie’s voice boomed across the room. “Nu uh pretty lady. We’re not there yet. Grab dragon slayer.”

You sigh and grab his acoustic guitar instead and come back to the bed. Settling between his legs once more.

“Okay y/n. Show me what you remember from yesterday.”

As you show him the chords that you remember, he places his hands atop yours and gently fixes any mistakes. It’s surprising how gentle he is with you. You hadn’t imagined his hand movements to be so soft and guiding. He really is a good teacher. So you decide to tell him.

About an hour into the lesson as his face is pressed into the crook of your neck, you turn your face around slightly just to get a look at him before speaking softly.

“You really are a good teacher Ed’s. You know that? You’re a natural.”

He laughs lightly. “Is that so? Does that mean you’d like to continue our lessons?”

“I kind of just assumed we would.”

“Good.”

There’s a knock at the door but this time you don’t jump out of Eddie’s lap. You stay there guitar in hand as Uncle Wayne walks into the room. He sees you in Eddie’s lap and raises a brow slightly but says nothing about it. Instead he addresses you alone.

“Y/n it was your mom again. You stayin the night or goin home for dinner?”

You look up at Eddie who has a hopeful look in his eyes and you remember what you said yesterday.

“I think I’m gonna stay the night if that’s alright with you guys?”

Eddie hugged you into him a bit tighter as Wayne answered you. “That’s always fine sweetheart you know you’re welcomed here. I’ll let your folks know.”

Wayne left the room and you and Eddie were alone once again repositioning yourselves to get back into the groove of practicing. You and Eddie practiced until your fingers were almost bleeding. Yet again he pulled your hand up to his mouth and kissed the pads of each sore little finger.

After putting his guitar back in its rightful place you grabbed a shirt of his and some sweatpants, crawled back into bed beside Eddie and drifted off peacefully into the night.

****

Eddie had a love hate relationship with the sleepovers you guys had. He loved your company so much and knowing you felt comfortable enough to sleep beside him made him feel great. But every sleepover was a little harder for him.

Eddie Munson has been in love with you pretty much since the day he met you. That love was solidified when you saved his life in the upside down by dragging his unconscious body through a portal and getting him first aid. Yours was the last face he saw right before he thought he was going to die.

His love only seems to grow everyday when you show up at his door with those little milkshakes in hand ready to spend time with him. He doesn’t know why you do it. All you say is that you’re keeping a promise.

He loved that about you. You never made a promise you didn’t keep. You stayed true to your word and you are one of the most honest people he knows. So sleeping next to you at night and not being able to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much he loves you hurts almost more than getting eaten by demobats.

He wants to tell you so badly but he doesn’t want to ruin whatever it is the two of you have. Sometimes he sees the way you look at him, or the way you blush when he touches or holds you. And he can’t ignore the jokes all you guys friends make. He thinks if he were to ask you out that you would say yes.

However he doesn’t want to ask you out right now at least. Not until he’s healed and can take you out on a nice real date. Maybe go get milkshakes in person rather than having to drink them in bed everyday.

As Eddie lays there staring at the ceiling of the trailer lost in thought about how much he loves you, you turn in your sleep, draping your arms over him and cuddling into his chest. He holds his breath until your comfortable and even then his breaths are shallow. He could stay like this forever and wants to cherish every moment of it.

As you lay there cuddling him in your sleep, Eddie fights off sleep. Wanting to memorize the feeling of lying with you. Wanting to memorize the way you feel against him. But you’re so warm and radiate so much comfort that Eddie can’t help but drift to sleep in your arms.

****

Weeks go by of you going to Eddie’s everyday bringing milkshakes and learning guitar. Sometimes sleeping over and sometimes not.

It was inevitable for you and Eddie to grow closer. Everyday you spent the night you would wake up cuddled in his arms or vice versa. Neither of you addressed it but the both of you looked forward to it.

That’s why when you didn’t show up on this particular day Eddie began to grow worried. He hadn’t heard from you in hours since you called to tell him you’d be over in a little bit. Wayne had to go to work so Eddie was alone with his worries.

He’d since been let off bed rest but still hadn’t left the trailer much. Being a bit insecure about how the town would see him and treat him. Most of his bandages had been removed except for the really deep wounds.

Once the sun had gone down and you still hadn’t shown up and no phone calls had been made Eddie decided to call your parents.

“Hello Misses Y/l/n?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“It’s Eddie Munson.”

“Oh Eddie! How are you?”

“I’m good, I'm good. Is uh. Is y/n there?”

“What?”

“Is y/n there?”

“Oh no dear she left to go see you earlier this afternoon. Is she not there?”

“I’m afraid not, miss y/l/n. She probably just stopped at a friend's place and forgot to call. I promise I’ll let you know when I find her.”

“I’ll call some of her friends and see if I can find her dear. Stay well Eddie!”

Eddie hung up the phone and immediately went to throw on some clothes. Getting dressed in a t-shirt and jeans he grabbed the keys to his van and began to head out on the town.

Eddie drove to everyone’s house he could think of. Steve, Robin, the wheelers, Dustin’s, the Sinclairs, the Byers. But you weren’t anywhere to be found. That’s when Eddie got a sinking feeling in his chest. He kicked it into high gear and sped off towards the diner.

****

Upon reaching the diner, Eddie’s fears were brought to fruition. As he drove up he could see the ambulance outside the diner and a few cop cars. He was praying you weren’t the one in the ambulance.

He exited his van and walked to the diner. As he walked past the ambulance Eddie was removed to see you weren’t the one in the ambulance. Instead it was the asshole who bullied the hellfire kids. Troy Walsh.

Eddie walked into the diner and saw you sat at a booth bloodied and bruised as you talked to a police officer. You glanced up briefly and your eyes connected with Eddie’s. Your face read relief and Eddie was just glad to see you were alive.

He waited for you to finish talking to the police officer before approaching the booth himself.

“Hey troublemaker. You look a little banged up there. What the hell happened?”

You laugh a little bit and look down at the table. “Oh not much you know. Just Troy and his friends being assholes again.”

Eddie grabbed your hand that rested on the table and held it in his own.

“You can talk to me. You know that right?”

You sighed. He was right and he was probably going to hear about it anyways from the hellfire boys. Surely this was going to be the big talk of the school tomorrow.

“Troy and his friends were leaving the diner and when they shoved past me they said some stuff about you being a murderer and I got a little mad. I said some choice words back and crazy ass Troy took a swing at me. So I hit back and we got into it.”

Eddie sighed and squeezed your hand before standing from the booth leaving you sitting there alone for a moment. He walked up to the counter and rang the bell being greeted a moment later by Benny.

“Mr Munson! Long time no see! What can I get ya?”

Eddie looked back to where you sat at the table looking down. He then turned back to Benny.

“I’ll take 2 milkshakes one chocolate and the other-“

“Chocolate vanilla swirl. I know. Go sit down and I'll get them out in a minute.”

Benny walked back to the kitchen and Eddie came back to you at the table. Taking your hand In his again you finally look up from the table and back at Eddie.

“Oh also y/n when we get to the trailer you have to call your mom. I might have given her a heart attack cause I was worried when you didn’t show.”

You finally laugh and Eddie is relieved. He leans across the table and brushes some hair out of your face. He uses that same hand to cup your face and tilt it upwards to look at him. He examined your cut lip and bruising eye. Brushed his thumb gently over the cut on your forehead and he sighs.

“Don’t worry I’ll get you fixed up when we get home.”

You gave him a smile and Benny appeared at the table with two milkshakes. Eddie reaches for his wallet and Benny stops him. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll call the milkshakes even from now on after having this young lady beat up that hooligan for me. Hopefully that’ll keep him and his little friends off the premises.”

Benny disappears back into the kitchen leaving you and Eddie to enjoy your milkshakes in an empty restaurant.

***

When you got to Eddie’s trailer he kept his word and went to the bathroom to gather supplies to help patch you up. You made your way to the phone to call your mom.

“Hi mom.”

“Y/n where have you been? I've been worried sick.”

“I’m sorry mom. I uh. Well I got into a fight at the diner so I got held up for a bit. But I’m with Eddie now and I’m okay.”

You can hear your mom sigh on the other end.

“Are you sure you’re okay hun?”

“Yeah mom I’m okay. Eddie picked me up and I’m okay now.”

“You know you’re very lucky to have that boy. He cares a lot about you.”

“I know mom. I do too.”

“Are you staying over there tonight?”

You look over your shoulder at Eddie who’s in the living room setting up the supplies on the coffee table.

“Yeah mom I’m staying here tonight. Love you bye.”

“Alright honey. Be safe and no more fighting please. Love you too goodnight.”

You hang up the phone and make your way over to the couch and begin examining what Eddie has brought to help you.

On the table is a bag of cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, a box of small bandaids, and a bag of frozen peas. Eddie picks up the ice pack to hand it to you.

“Y/n your job is to hold this bag of ice on your eye until I’m done patching you up okay?”

You nod your head and bring the bag of peas up to your face and wince in pain. You feel one of Eddie’s hands squeeze your free hand and you squeeze it back.

Eddie begins on using the alcohol and cotton balls to clean the blood off your face and clean the wounds. Every wince he would give your hand a light squeeze. After cleaning your wounds Eddie took the last step of placing a bandaid over the cut on your forehead and once the bandaid was placed he quickly kissed your forehead. “Muah. All better?”

You take the bag of peas off of your eye and look at him directly. “Yup doc I’m all healed.”

Eddie stood from the table and took all the supplies and put them away in their rightful places before returning next to you on the couch in the living room.

He sat down with a sigh and took your hand in his once again. You turn to face him on the couch.

“Y/n?”

“Yes Eddie?”

“Why did you buy those milkshakes for me everyday?”

“Why does it matter so much?”

“Cause you put up with shit every single day just to get those milkshakes. Why?”

“Because I made a promise, Eddie.”

“To who?”

“To you.”

“Well stop it. Break the promise. I don’t want you to do it anymore. Not if this is going to happen.”

“I have to Eddie. You don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?”

“THAT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE EDDIE!”

You yank your hand away from his and cover your face with your hands as you begin to cry. Eddie moves closer to you on the couch and places a hand on your back to rub it as you continue to cry.

“Shhh shhh shhh sweetheart. Talk to me. I’m here. I’m alive. Talk to me.”

You sniffled and looked up at him. “You were gonna die Eddie. I dragged you out of that place and sat in that hospital with your unconscious body everyday. You weren’t waking up. Everyday I would bring you a milkshake from the hospital cafeteria in hopes that you would wake up and drink it. One day your heart stopped. Only for a minute before they got it beating again. But you were dead for a whole minute. I promised you at that moment that I would be with you everyday. That I would buy you a milkshake or anything you wanted everyday as long as you stayed. As long as you woke up. I promised Eddie. I promised and your heart started beating again. I promised and you woke up the very next day.”

Eddie’s heart broke for you. He had never thought about what you went through in the hospital with him. It had never crossed his mind. And to know that you were that worried about him. That all of this was for him. He couldn’t even comprehend it. He grabbed you and pulled you into a hug that you accepted with desperation as you grabbed for him.

The two of you stayed like that for a while before finally heading to Eddie’s room. Where you changed into one of his shirts and sweatpants yet again.

Eddie sat on the bed and waited. He watched as you walked over to dragon slayer and picked it up.

“Nuh uh princess. I think you’re ready. How about you bring sweetheart over here. I wanna play you something.”

You grabbed sweetheart off of the mirror as gently as you could and brought her over to where Eddie was on the bed. Situating yourself between his legs. He wrapped his arms around you and began to play. He began to play the guitar and you recognized the song immediately. He was playing your favorite song and he’d taken the time to learn it in its entirety. It made you wonder how he’d learned it while he was injured.

As he played his head found it way to its usual spot in the crook of your neck.

As he finished playing the song he saw the tear fall onto your cheek. He moved his hand to cup your face and turn you around to face him. As he wiped the fallen tears he looked into your eyes.

“I have something to tell you.” He swallowed thickly and you looked up at him with expectant eyes.

“I should have told you everyday from the moment I met you actually. But I’m in love with you.”

The tears begin to fall down your face with even more speed and intensity as you collide your lips with his in a gentle in sync movement. Feeling how soft and gentle his lips were on yours and him feeling how desperate and longing your lips were. He would kiss you as long as you wanted.

When you pull away you cup his face into your hands.

“I love you too Eddie Munson. Every part of you. Since the moment I met you. From your million watt smile to your chocolate button eyes. I love you Eddie. I’m in love with you.”

He leans in to kiss you again and you accept. Kissing him back and tangling your hands in his hair to bring his face closer to yours. The kids hurt your busted lip but it still managed to be the best kiss of your life. Every pent up emotion pouring out of you both.

He grasped desperately to pull you as close to him as he could. As if you would disintegrate. As if none of it was real. But you moved as close as you could. Knowing he was with you was all you needed.

You moved your tongue into his mouth first and explored him before letting him explore you. Eddie briefly broke the kiss to remove sweetheart from the bed as he gently set her up against the side table beside his bed. As he turned his attention back to you he noticed you were already removing his shirt from your body and it dawned on Eddie that this was real. That it was truly happening. The girl he was in love with was getting undressed in his bed.

He shuddered at the thought and began to remove his own shirt. Revealing the last bandage on his torso and his scarred yet almost healed body.

You moved to the edge of the bed and put a hand to his torso moving gently and tracing every scar and tattoo you could find before moving up to kiss him once more. He kisses you back with passion as you slide your hands to the sweatpants you’re wearing and remove them as he removes his pants and boxers quickly.

Now standing on his mattress in front of each other. Bare and naked as can be you both take a second to memorize each other’s forms. To just be grateful that you’re there and together. Eddie is the first to move as he grabs your face into a kiss and your hands begin to explore each other’s bodies for the first time.

Eddie’s hands tend to favor your breasts and your ass. Alternating between teasing your nipples and groping you all over. You do the same to him. Grabbing him pretty much everywhere you can until your hand glides down and grabs his thick erection causing Eddie to groan into your mouth.

As you stand there stroking him he pulls away from the kiss and stops you.

“If you want to stop at any point you let me know okay. Is this what you want?”

“More than anything baby.”

And just like that his lips are back on yours as he guides you onto the mattress laying you down gently.

He reaches over to his nightstand and takes out a condom. Taking it out of the wrapping he slides it onto his dick and fists it a couple times before settling between your legs.

He rests his arms next to your head and intertwines your fingers before he pushes into you. He does so gently and slowly. Stopping and pausing every so often to allow you to adjust. Keeping track of whenever you winced or pinched your brows together.

He kissed you on the forehead speaking sweet nothings into your ear. Telling you how good you were doing for him. Once he was finally all the way in and you gave him the go ahead to move he rocked in and out of you gently but deeply.

Every stroke sets your skin ablaze. Feeling him move within you and with such gentle hands holding you and loving you. It was hard to ignore the feeling sprouting within you.

Eddie untangled one of his hands from yours and snaked it between your bodies. He began to rub circles on your clit that made you whine and whimper his name in pleasure. He was so determined to get you to cum before him and he was already so close.

Hearing your whimpers and whines grow louder he began to move even deeper with his strokes. Punctuating each thrust by telling you how much he loved you. That was enough to send you both tumbling over the edge as you chanted his name and told him you loved him too.

As the two of you pull away panting you begin to giggle with one another. Still tasting the faint flavor of chocolate and vanilla dancing on your tongues. You hang sweetheart up on the mirror as Eddie disposes of the condom.

Curling up next to him in a hug as you drift off to sleep. And for once Eddie can sleep knowing that he can wake up and kiss you. Knowing that you know how much he loves you.

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