#so i just told him to go sleep

[thewriterain]

when i was a child my mom used to say i was too sensitive, that i should learn to not take things too personally. she was right in some ways, but i could never shake off those too words -- too sensitive. "too emotional for anyone's liking," was what she didn't say, but i heard it regardless.

you tell me i'm emotional and suddenly i feel like i'm 10 years old again. i know every time you say emotional you're referring to people who are unable to control their emotions properly, and this stings. i am...difficult to deal with at times. maybe it's selfish of me to think you were okay with that difficulty, that i could feel whatever it is i wanted and you would still be here.

you tell me you didn't mean it that way and this stings too. of course it's my fault, i took it too personally. it makes me want to hide these feelings, scared you will call me out again on what i simply think is human.

but you know what? you can't blame me for wanting to conceal my emotions when you were the one who made me feel bad for having them in the first place.

#spilled thoughts #spilled ink #spilled words #writers on tumblr #thewriterain #ainwrites #quotes #spilled emotions #love quotes #black and white #spilled feelings #my writing #i was so frustrated when i wrote this #but i guess i only have myself to blame #i didn't want to start a fight #so i just told him to go sleep #does anyone else get sick of trying to be the bigger person #because sometimes i wish i could just scream at people who hurt me #but i know that's bad and mean and unkind #and losing patience is not the way to go #sigh #i just gotta calm down folks #if u read the tags thanks for listening <3

[crystallizsch]

Prefect… Would you like me to teach you how to dance?

Oh, wow. Offering a private lesson, Jamil?

Don’t call it that-

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ~

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ~

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ~

♩ ♪ ~

♩ ~

they just kinda sorta lost track of time

#so book 5 has been on my mind lately #pining idiots in love is one of my favorite genres #[— #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #jamil viper #jamil x yuu #twst oc x canon #twst yuu #★'-my-art #(💜) yuusha #(💜) jamiyuu #—] #i realized i havent drawn them that isnt some self-indulgent comic strip #now it's just a regular self-indulgent piece #anyways remember that one scene in book 5 where kalim opened up to us and we basically just told him “too bad rich boy go to sleep” 💀 #and we havent gotten back to it since #that has been living in my head rent-free and i have SO much to say about it hngdsfhjds kalim my beloved you poor thing

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[danwhobrowses]

For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will

#godspeed my poor damaged psyche #critical role #bells hells #callowmoore #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #fearne x ashton #ashton x fearne #strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day #3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait #also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s) #Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah #much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved #and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne) #but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy) #couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we? #or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode #they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience #I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately) #Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl #bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios #taliesin jaffe #ashley johnson

[cata-strophes]

tomi

#FIRST TOMMY OF THE YEAR????? #oh wait i actually have another sketch of him #FIRST COLORED TOMMY OF THE YEAR???? #tommyinnit #dsmp #dream smp #tommyinit fanart #my art #doodle #it’s 6am i haven’t slept #i have another chomy but it’s not finished and i’m tired so i’m gonma post tomorrow #or. in a few hours. #im going to sleep bc my pen ran out of batter and i can’t use it while it’s charging bc my cable sucks #i would’ve just skipped through the night otherwise #i should sleep anyways bc my brain would not be able to work and i still have to finish my project for college #update my classmates are still not helping even though i’ve told them over and over again what they have to do #at this point i can put in my resume i have illustrated animated coded and designed a whole game myself #a short game but still #i drew this out of desperation

[opens-up-4-nobody]

As a stranger on the internet (so feel free to ignore or tell me I'm out of line) you might just be going through a grieving process. It sucks, a lot, and I don't really have any advice other than it will slowly get better, but it might help simply knowing.

Grief is different for everyone, and looks different for everyone too. But either way I hope you feel better soon <3

It's very possible, I just don't want that to be the answer because then I don't know what to do

#it feels more like im using grief as an excuse to not do anything and i find it really upsetting #i just dont kno what to do. i have a lightning talk to give tomorrow and i cant get anywhere bc when i try to get anything done i just start #crying and everything feels like a mess that i have no motivation to clean up #just everything. why did i decide to do this with my life? why couldnt i have chosen a functional career path? #i dont kno what im doing. i dont kno how im going yo get things together for my committee meeting Friday #or how ill get thru it without crying. i dont even kno what i want. i wanna talk to my dad i guess but ive never told anyone in my family #when im having a hard time and i dont kno how to do that without making him worry #ugh. tomorrow's gonna suck. so does today. i just want the semester to be over. but then i cant escape my project. so idk what i want #i want sleep for 1000 years or at least until all my problems are gone #unrelated

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

hello, i would like to hear about the titans fantasy au O.O

Oh man, you really shouldn't enable me like this... but if you insist!!

Alright, here's the setting: We're in some weird Lord of Rings/DnD fantasy setting with various magical creatures and inconsistent technological developments. Were tunics worn at the same time as ball gowns? Were carriages used at the same time as broad swords? I don't know! And I'm not doing any historical research! It's just haphazardly medieval!

Donna, for the most part, is relatively unchanged. She fits into this setting rather well. She is the demigod daughter of Zues, warrior in training, third in line to be Queen of the Amazons. At 13 years old she is a new arrival from her island nation and she is hoping to learn monster hunting (she's hoping to learn by doing). The one condition of her joining Diana was that she was supposed to stay with Diana at all times. Both of them nodded and smiled in agreement when their mother, the Queen, said this. Both immediately parted ways once their boat hit the shores of this new and exciting world.

Speaking of new and exciting, the King of Atlantis' ward is tagging along for the first time to see the surface world. Garth is fascinated (and a little terrified) and he's hoping to learn new types of magic! The Crown Prince (his older brother) Koryak says that he will make a fearsome mage one day and he really doesn't want to let him down. Garth imagines that one day his brother will rule as King and Garth will be there at his side as the Head Mage. He really has to work on his skills to get to that point though! Hence studying abroad. He's also... maybe... looking to meet some friends. Or any friends, really. He doesn't have any and he's heard good things.

Lord Richard of Gotham is so tired of politics. His... 'father' is the Crown Prince, next in line for the throne of Gotham. Not that anyone, including Bruce, is happy about it. The Kane family has had the crown for centuries and now, because the King only had daughters and Bruce's mom had the audacity to marry a Wayne (their rival house), they stand to lose it all. Thankfully, Bruce's status as Crown Prince is only temporary. As soon as Princess Kate Kane is married off, her husband will automatically be next in line. (Although they've sure been taking their time with that. What's the hold up?) So Bruce doesn't have to ever worry about being King and Dick (as Bruce's totally legitimate love child that Bruce didn't make up to make sure Dick could inherit everything if he ever died, don't do the math on their ages) doesn't ever have to worry about the throne at all. Sure, he's technically second in line but it's as far away from reality as a nightmare and just as scary. For right now all Dick has to worry about is being a squire, going on adventures and learning how to be a great knight! What could go wrong!?

Crown Prince Elroy is fucked. Seriously fucked. The old Crown Prince Oliver saw Roy at an archery competition and decided 'Yeah, that one.' Ollie offered him a room, food and all the arrows he could ever want. When Roy found out that Ollie was taking a page out of Robin Hood's book, Roy was overjoyed. The two of them had a blast stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. It was great! And then Ollie's father, the King, found out. He disowned Ollie, not that Ollie cared, and life went on as normal with one major giant exception. The King didn't have any other children (legitimate children anyway) and Ollie was now disowned. So the King legitimized Roy as Oliver's bastard child and heir. Or, sorry, Elroy because apparently 'Roy' wasn't fancy enough. Now Elroy is the Crown Prince. Elroy is under lock and key so that Ollie can't influence him. Elroy is being forced to study. (The King promised him that this was just to make Ollie see reason but Roy isn't so sure... the King is putting a lot of effort into his training...) The only saving grace is that Roy is being sent away this summer to learn sword fighting. Archery is 'a cowards sport' apparently and Roy 'needs to expand his horizons'. Well.. they certainly agree on that last one. Roy is making a break for it and he's not coming back.

Wally is a young apprentice working for his Uncle Barry. He's learning how to make medicine and treat wounds and find useful herbs. At least, he's learning that sometimes. A lot of his time is spent being a delivery boy. Uncle Barry says that's an important part of any medical treatment, actually delivering the medicine. Wally thinks that he just wants him to burn off energy. Regardless, Wally spends most of his time delivering medicine and he does it well. It helps that he can cross the continent before most people can blink their eyes. He can't tell anyone that though. Barry has made that part extremely clear. As far as their patients are concerned, Barry is a local doctor who just lives outside of whichever town they're in. There's a lot of things Wally can't tell people. Like how his eyes glow and magic lights up on his fingertips when he's excited. Or how he doesn't really like hats, he just has to wear them to hide his slightly too pointy ears. He gets it. He does. He's heard the whispered stories of fae, the hushed talk of changelings, he's read the old cracked tomes on the Elven Folk. He knows what people will think he is. But he isn't. He really isn't. He's just... Wally. And sure, he might be a little bit odd but he's just as human as the next guy, he swears!

Donna finds herself left on the doorstep of the greatest monster hunters in this new world. Garth is accepted to shadow some of the best defense mages ever. Dick finds himself stopping in with some fellow Knights (he is soon to be one after all) on his way home after a particularly hard mission. Roy finds himself shipped off to learn sword fighting from some 'trusted experts'. Wally is on a routine delivery run to drop off some supplies for his Uncle's good friends. Whether it's fate or something far more sinister, they all find themselves at the temple of the Knights of the Emerald Flame. Sir Hal Jordan, who was not ready for the sudden onslaught of children, panics and gives them a mission to get them out of his hair.

The rest, as they say, is history.

#i actually have really extensive plans for each character #especially Garth and Wally #its funny Donna just kinda showed up cause she heard about the Emerald Knights and just wandered in #Dick was literally just looking for a safe place to sleep for the night before journeying home #Wally was just dropping stuff off #Roy and Garth were the only ones actually supposed to be there. and Ollie was supposed to be there to pick up Roy #because this was just a ruse. it was a rescue attempt but Ollie got sidetracked #really Hal only agreed to Garth being there so that he could watch Hal do magic. and Hal wasn't even really looking to teach him #Hal just wanted an easily impressed audience so that he could show off #but then five fucking kids showed up and Hal was like 'oh FUCK NO! Here's an easy mission! go do this!!!' #Garth thought it was training Donna was chomping at the bit to fight something Roy just wanted to be unsupervised #Dick thought Hal genuinely needed his help with this and Wally was like '?!??! HUH?!?' #but hey. He went with it. cause Barry told Wally to always listen to Hal unless he's doing something stupid. #but Hal wasn't doing anything. Wally was the one doing something stupid. so it didn't count #anyway. i have. so many thoughts. literally its planned out until they're adults #dc #dc comics #titans fantasy au #wally west #dick grayson #donna troy #roy harper #garth of shayeris #fab five

[skyland2703]

…ok so I got inspired <3

.

.

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Thesis in the tags

#OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT #Amelia is probably the most jealous person to ever relationship. #but it comes naturally ONLY for Javi. she never got jealous while dating Ollie or any of the previous partners. #but when she started dating javi—something flipped a switch in her and BOI OH BOI DID SHE GET. JEALOUS. OF EVERYTHING. #which kinda sucks because Javi is a music sensation and POPULAR 😭 #and she’s Horny. SO. so. SO. horny. like. maybe it’s the Rafkonian biology but if he wakes her up in the middle of the night #saying ‘babe I’m horny’ she just. fucking. would go down on him. then and there. #LIKE SHE WOULD SEE HIM TAKING A PEACEFUL BATH AND GO ‘i wanna fuck you slide over’ #and the exhibitionist kink 😭😭 don’t even get me started on that. #Javi was always a mama’s boy so he is THE best at cooking. his mom is even better. (typical desi mom Rina 😭👍🏻) #and so he makes them food. and she does the dishes because his prosthetics don’t let him do watery work good. #Amelia isn’t good with lovey dovey words. Javi is a POET. #HE TOLD HER HE LOVED HER BY WRITING HER A SONG #AND TELLING HER ‘you are the very oxygen i breathe’. #and he waited for her confession for three years 😭 for her to fall in love with him and for her to tell him she loved him #and like #idk man #also she steals all of his clothes. #Javi got vvv annoyed once realising she doesn’t have ANY super loose sweatshirts and comfortable things to wear. not even pyjamas. #(she used to prefer sleeping naked) but ever since she discovered Javi’s oversized hoodies… that fit juuust perfectly. theresno going back. #ever #anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk :D #they’re sooooo in love your honor I cant~ #power rangers #power rangers dino fury #amelia jones #Javi garcia #cosmic fury #power rangers cosmic fury #dino fury

[vvitchy-succubus]

.

#his service was overwhelming and perfect #there were so many people there i couldnt even begin to guess how many #my andrew looked so handsome #and even had his natural little smirk he always wore #all of the flags in Illinois are being flown at half mast for him until Sunday #i was able to get theough the eulogy #and i got to give him one last forehead kiss #everyone went out to his favorite bar after #and we had a shot of whiskey while “friends in low places” played #we drank and told stories about him #i met friends of his i had only heard stories about #and some i didnt know of at all #and my entire gigantic family #im just at a loss for words over how much he was loved #this was the worst day of my life so far #but also it would have made him so happy to see #and that's good enough for me #now i have to sleep and try and figure out what the fuck im going to do when i have to wake up tomorrow

[asummersday]

Great news!!! After struggling with this god forsaken chapter for MONTHS im FINALLY DONE. now I just have to edit and then im FREE 🙏

#of course when i say 'im done' #that means that some parts of it are literally just [insert dialogue here] bc dialogue is my worst enemy #and i sometimes leave it to editing me to take care of it jsjjfkfk #but u know what i said this chapter would be out before the end of march and ON GOD i kept that promise #its. yeah its 8k. #once more i told myself it would be like a nice 5-6k and here we are #i struggled so much with it bc a) splinter is in it! finally lmao #i had so muxh trouble writing him actually #and b) theres a leo and casey conversation at the end that i ALSO really struggled with #but i think i did okay so :v #its 2am and i am. very. very tired. #and i am going to have a wonderful sleep tonight <3 #summer post

[jacqcrisis]

Why is everyone in this godforsaken camp sniffing my lizard?

#ronans trying to have a nice day intimidating people and holding astarions hand #and the wizard and the druid keep trying to catch a whiff i GUESS #anyone else? shadowheart? im assuming lae'zel because shes a certified freak #wylls too busy having daddy issues #anyways i turned down halsin for character reasons #also considering ronans been pretty encouraging about the not having sex thing with his vampire #it would make sense for him to feel weird or kind of not great about the idea of sleeping with someone else #he doesnt want to make his guy feel bad or put him on the spot about letting ronan go find sex somewhere else #that seems like a mean conversation to have to him so he told halsin nah #just not even gunna bother #he went without for like 11 years or whatever he can go for 11 more if he has to #if they live that long #i am curious about what that convo with astarion is like re: asking if you can go boink the bear #i shouldve did a save and reload oh well #bg3

[semiotomatics]

lol, new fear unlocked: disappointing my therapist when i have bad days -_-

#this has been an original post #personal spewage #clouds gets therapy #like idk. i told her this week was gonna be tough for me bc of my period #but i also said last week was better than expected and she was so happy for me #and we were both so hopeful that this week would be better too #and then it. wasnt #well it wasnt all bad #but yesterday and today have sure sucked lol #im just so. mad #like. this is so unfair #i have a concert tonight that ive been looking forward to _literally all year_ #technically since last year #but i have cramps and i couldnt sleep and its pouring out and i dont have rainboots and i just. cant #or dont want to. whichever #and i know its okay. i know ill get another chance to see him live (tonight wouldve been my 4th time seeing him anyway lol) #but i still just. want to go #i wish i wasnt in pain and exhausted and depressed and just. like this #i wish i wasnt like this #edit: was just reminded that this is actually the SECOND time i had tickets to see him live this year but couldnt go #fucking sucks man #at least i did get to see him live on my birthday #that was. the best

[antstarion]

my house feels so empty without my dog :(( vent in tags

#I don't have therapy for fucking ages so here we go. im gonna rant #cw for pet death #cw pet death #cw pet loss #my dog died technically yesterday now and i am fucking heartbroken #he has been around since i was 9 or 10 years old so i was so fucking attached to that guy #he loved to cuddle on the sofa with me and we spent a lot of time together because i sleep downstaira in the same room as him #the pain that i feel is so much without even factoring my family #my family are extremely emotionally abusive and trying to cope with a loss that is this big around them is so difficult #im going back to my flat in a couple of days but the reactions to this event are fucking unsettling #nobody is talking about it. if i bring it up they just ignore it. #i am not one to govern how people react to grief but. if you knew my family #i feel like its importsnt to mention that they didnt tell me he was having to be put down until the day befoew #they withheld the fact he went blind and couldnt walk from me #last time i saw him he was old but fine and this time he was struggling to breathe #nobody told me #i dont know #in a house that was fucking horrible to me he was always nice #he was the only #one who didnt do anything wrong #he was a constant through all the abuse and now he is gone #i feel like everything is cracking beneath me and im about to fall #cw suicide #but im thinking just terrible things #im trying not to see this as a relapse in my recover because i know this is a normal reaction to grief for me #i just feel terrible and alone #and when i felt #like this before. he would always be there #hes stopped me from hurting myself before just because he was there #idk what to do

[minglana]

one more night suffering through the curse of living in aragon, land where voice tones are very loud and booming. and some men refuse to cant control their voices so it can be 2 am and i will be hearing him speak in the room next door

#worst of all is that yesterday i found out through the security guard who is my friend (kind of? i guess?) #that the security guard thats here today complained abt me complaining. as in 'it seems everything bothers her (me) now' #'its like we cant speak at all or we bother her' #SO NOW I DONT WANNA BE AN ANNOYING WOMAN AND TELL HIM TO SHUT UP #god i wish someone would either tape his mouth SO HE SHUTS THE FUCK UP so i can sleep/study/concentrate. or slap him silly #so he realizes. I BET. that if i was not a woman he would take me more seriously #but nooooo. i gotta get out of my room every single fucking day that hes here to tell him to lower his voice. bc he doesnt want to CONTROL #his voice volume. the other security guard (my friend) told me that he told him that!!!! that he just had to control the tone and volume #but nah man. my security guard friend also doesnt like him😭bc he doesnt shut up lmaaooooo AND hes super irresponsible #anyways im so sorry guys im truly so fed up with this. also did you guys know that one time i went to tell them to shut up and i got stuck #in there with THEM TALKING for an hour. it was 1.30 am or so when i went there. i got out at 2.40am🥴 #they wouldnt let me go. they just keep droning on and on. and they also just basically not let you get a word in #and i was standing the entire time too😭 #z xarre

[pepprs]

im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol

#i know i know. and i need to let the anguish motivate me to get out of here. but it feels like i dreamed it all #purrs #chicago #i had a rough time getting out of the hotel and through the airport to my gate and also im bad at math so i fucked up the calculation about #when my flight lands bc of the time zone change and i gave my parents the time in central time not eastern time so my dad was waiting for m #for like a half hour and texting me and i wasn’t answering bc i was still in the air and he was pissed at me and snarky in my texts with hi #and i was sitting there on the plane and could just feel his words ripping into me and the horrors rushing back in and i still haven’t #recovered from it honestly. it wasn’t that big of a deal he just said something that i misunderstood as him saying he was giving up waiting #for me and going home bc id already wasted his time and even though that was not what he actually said it just kinda burrowed into me that #my parents were mad at me and were probably also mad at me for not communicating with them AT ALL the entire time i was in chicago. and it #just was eating me alive. im home now and we haven’t talked about it but they did say things disapproving of the fact that i did a lot of #stuff by myself which i probably shouldn’t have told them. idk. it’s not even that bad i just am torn apart by their rejection of me and #utter inability to just like be happy for me without criticizing some part of it or restraining me. plus the house is just as much of a #biohazard as it was when i left and all the broken things are still broken and it’s like. a lot. i miss the hotel LOL #i think im just sleep deprived and not in my head right today but i do not want to be here. sinking in quicksand unable to breathe. but i #have to be the one to get me out of it and i should have learned how in chicago but i didn’t it was just a break and now im stuck again #delete later #kind of terrible that instead of being so proud and happy about what i did my immediate reaction is to be miserable that im home now lol

[kweenkatsuki-main]

Yall when KCH has to get up before me for work, he fashions the pillows on his side of the bed into a little pile so that I can still cling to something when he has to leave me.

and he also tucks me in and gives me a kiss on the forehead. 🥹🥹🥹

#i remember when he told me the tucking in thing #he was like 'i always tuck you in when i leave the bed #and when i'm about to leave the bedroom to go downstairs i give you a kiss on the forehead #when your face isn't buried under the blankets or in the pillows #🥹🥹🥹🥹 #yesterday he was napping and i was laying on his chest and i dead ass just stared at him and watched him sleep for about an hour #just like 'he is all mine. i am very lucky. he is so beautiful' #sigh im emotional this morning #☀️.marq declares #KCH