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#stay safe out there everyone!
beesinspades · 5 months
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I hope I can get some writing done this week 🥹 and I got an ergonomic keyboard so gotta practice, right sdfjkln
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October 13, 2023 | Day 187
No
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stuckinapril · 5 months
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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gummi-ships · 7 months
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winwintea · 10 days
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secure that card! 19. pinky promise content warning: mentions of stalking, violent threats
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"I'm soooooo paranoid right now. Could you have been a little faster?" Jisung asked Chenle as soon as he hopped into the front seat of the car. Chenle rolled his eyes at Jisung, "Relax princess. You'll be well taken care of, Calm down." He turned around to look at you, as you buckled up your seatbelt in the back, "And you're not even the one in danger Ji." You gave him a thin smile, and he took notice of your appearance. You definitely looked weary and tired, and Chenle couldn't help but wonder if you'd gotten any sleep at all. The messages were bound to send anyone on edge. "Yah yah. Everyone's in danger at this point. I mean it's not that hard to see Y/n's schedule and figure out who she interacts with. Besides, the guy is also a law student." Chenle tried to tone down his excitement, "You know who it is?"
You finally broke your silence "Um... yeah... so you remember the sketchy guy Ten?" Chenle simply nodded, "So... long story short he wasn't the stalker, but he did manage to figure out who it was." Chenle tried to process the words you just said, "Huh. How'd he do that?" "I don't know... some technology hacking stuff maybe. I can ask Yuqi later, she's good at that." "Wait is that legal?" Jisung suddenly interjected into the conversation. Chenle shot his friend a cold glare, "Uh... hello? is stalking legal? I'd hope not. Our ethical concerns are quite literally out the door at this moment." Anything to keep you safe, at least. "Wait so who is it?" He was still curious about the stalker, and maybe if there was a motive behind everything. "Hwang Hyunjin? Jisung knows more about him than I do." At least it was somebody Chenle didn't seem to know. He probably would've done some... unspeakable things to them if he did. "What, I only knew that he was in our class! Which you did not know. Can't believe you don't pay attention to the kids in our class. That's about all I know about him as well." "Um, excuse me, maybe instead of being focused on the people in our class I'm focused on the lectures?" "Nerd." "Shut your ass up Park Jisung, I have your mother's phone number." Chenle couldn't help but giggle out loud at this comment, and it certainly seemed to shut Jisung up. He didn't realize how close you two were, and wondered why Jisung never at all mentioned you in the past. Chenle made a mental note to himself to ask him later. "How are you feeling though, Y/n?" "I'm alright, I guess." Your expression still remained firm, and it did not make him feel great at all. He hated how this was happening to you. You didn't even deserve it, at all. If you hadn't done any collab with Yizhuo, or... Then it hit him. If you never met him, then you would've never met Yizhuo, and this wouldn't never happened. Technically, he was the root source of all your problems. Chenle cursed under his breath, which was picked up on by Jisung, although Jisung didn't say anything. "You can stay over as long as you want Y/n. I can understand how difficult it is to be going through this." He glanced in the rearview mirror at you and smiled, "If there's anything you want, food, drinks wise, we can order it." "Dude, you seriously have a problem." Jisung gave him a sideways glance, "Food doesn't solve everything." Ignoring Jisung's judging comments and looks he continued on, "Food is quite literally the solution to all issues. It's like what they say for those Hershey Bars, 'you're not you when you're hungry'." "Snicker Bars." "Same thing." ————— Soon enough Chenle had arrived at his house (mcmansion) and you had all be ushered in as quickly as possible by Chenle for fear of potential harm or threat from your stalker. Yanan was quickly filled in with the situation, and bluntly stated that you needed some rest, as evident from the dead eyebags slowly forming. "Are you sure? Like I feel like I should be awake just in case something happens." Jisung placed his hands on your shoulders, "Please. You desperately need the sleep. And besides you've got 3 men willing to pr- err keep you safe, just in case."
"Alright... But just 3 hours okay?" "That's not enough, but it's better than none." Yanan leaned against the table the four of them were sitting at and crossed his shoulders, "Chenle, why don't you go on up and show her the guest room."
"You mean a guest room. How many y'all got? Like 50?" Jisung joked, as Chenle and you stood up to leave the room. "12." "Oh boo-hoo, that's still 12 more than the average U.S. citizen living in the united states." You followed after Chenle paying more attention to your surroundings than you had before. "So, do you have guests over often?" Chenle hummed in response, "No, not really, we just have so many extra rooms." "Then why is the elevator used as storage..." "Um..." Chenle wasn't sure how to answer, "Good question." You snorted in response and continued to trail after him. Although somewhat distracted, the stalker still remained on his mind. If Ten had tipped them off, they should've been gone soon? The whole thing stressed him out. He felt partially responsible for your entanglement in this situation, and since there was nothing he could do about it already happening, he promised himself that he would do all in his ability to make sure that you were safe.
You two had finally reached the guest room. Chenle opened the door and allowed you to go in, but didn't enter himself. "This is it. I would say feel free to do whatever, but you honestly need the rest so please sleep." Your mouth hung agape as you glanced around the room, "You're saying this is the guest room? Then what the hell does YOUR room look like?" Chenle eyed the space and mentally compared his own room to this one, "They're about the same size, although there is a door leading to an inner room, so technically it's 2 rooms in 1?" "I didn't even know that existed, ooohhkaaay..."
Chenle shrugged, looking back at you again, "Be sure to get some good sleep alright? Take your mind off the situation and relax, we've got some top notch security here so you're quite safe. Text me if you need anything." You smiled at him, this time a full smile, "Promise me you'll wake me up in 3 hours?" "3 hours, yes. I'm aware." You pouted, holding out your hand, "Pinky promise?" Chenle arched a brow at you. "Pinky promise? What are you 7?" "A pinky promise is a true promise that is never to be broken at ANY time!" You continued to hold your pinky out, "Pinky promise you'll wake me in 3 hours." "Alright alright okay, I got it." He held his own pinky out and locked them together with yours, "Pinky Promise." He chuckled "And pinky promise me you'll actually get some rest and not worry about the situation for these 3 hours." "Pinky Promise" Chenle gave you a sideways grin and a thumbs up before heading out of the room. Why did he find that cute? Chenle honestly couldn't remember whenever was the last time he had felt this way about a person. Or maybe there was none? No one seemed to rival these thoughts and feelings he had towards you. He'll admit, at first he was quite attracted to your looks. After all, he had nothing to base other than your almost-but-not-quite lifeless body for first impressions. And conveniently you also happened to appear in his life the moment he started his plan to acquire a green card. However, it was the feisty spirit, the constant rejection/reluctant acceptance of his gifts, the ambition in your eyes, and everything else that seemed to make you who you were that really pulled Chenle into a deeper battle of love for you.
And as obvious as it was that you didn't appear to feel the same, that never discouraged him. In fact, he saw this as a challenge. One that he was going to win.
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SUMMARY ▸ zhong chenle is the owner of many cards. a black card? he owns that. he even has a stanford student id card. the one card he doesn’t own though? a green card. and if chenle plays his cards right, he just may be able to secure one by wooing you. or it could all fall through… who knows?
TAG LIST ▸ @marvelahsobx @lyvhie @odxrilove @jkslvsnella @aquaphoenixz @wonnieluv @acidwon @syatchy @sleepyvic @grassbutneo @chcnlcs @taeeflwrr @hibernatinghamster @jaeimjaemin @gukuwii @slayhaechan @yyangj3lly @seunghancore @clean-soap @bath1lda @lostinneocity @defzcl @ckline35 @multifandomania @meltinghershey @foxy-kitsune @jising-jisang-jisung @minkyuncutie @zuzu-the-simp @dojaejunging
bonus: behind the scenes of me trying to make this chapter w/ a friend (can someone explain to me what happened WHY DID DISCORD DO THAT😭)
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fuckyeah-bears · 29 days
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Havent been on tumblr much lately, been running around helping students with their encampments
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braveolivine · 2 months
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hoppy trans day of visibility from liko & sprigatito 🏳️‍⚧️💓
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another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.
thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3
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glitchdollmemoria · 10 months
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do people who disregard photosensitivity realize that seizures can fucking kill or do they just not care. do people not realize that their "aesthetic" "cool" flashing lights that happen without SUFFICIENT warning... are fucking capable of killing people. i dont even care if i sound pissy right now because i am pissy, im sick of feeling like myself and others with epilepsy arent even afforded the right to be an afterthought to most people. im not even photosensitive but ffs this shit makes me so angry.
seizures themselves can be deadly if they go on too long, theyre essentially electrical overloads in the brain, you know, that organ that controls the entire rest of the body? and seizures can result in injuries or death from falls. from choking on our own vomit. from drowning in our own bathtubs, if we think we might be safe to bathe and then get proven wrong. maybe someone just wanted to watch a video or movie while they took a spa day.
did you know that epileptics are more likely to die younger than those without epilepsy, with all those risks and more? and have you heard of SUDEP? sudden unexpected death in epilepsy, death without a known cause, a rare but very real possibility for us. it kills approximately 1 in 1000 epileptics a year, if not more since it may not be accurately tracked. thats thousands of us dead a year. we do not need you to add to our death rates.
"all these things are known risks, epileptics just have to be more careful-" epileptic people should not have to be on constant fucking high alert. how about instead, people just learn to give a shit about life threatening disabilities? it takes so little effort to just offer a CLEAR and VERY OBVIOUS warning AHEAD OF TIME, for a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME, before your stupid flashing lights. or just dont add them at all. are they necessary? are they really necessary? would you really fucking rather photosensitive epileptics have to be constantly on guard, IMPOSSIBLY on guard, rather than you just considering their safety? nobody can anticipate every instance of unexpected flashing lights they might come across. but you, creators, are able to provide warnings, and if for any reason you arent, then hire someone else to edit the warnings in or just get rid of the fucking lights altogether.
again, my epilepsy is not photosensitive, but i will never stop being protective of my photosensitive siblings. my own life is scary enough with the form of epilepsy i have, i cannot imagine how terrifying it must be to have to maneuver through the world with photosensitivity, and i dont want careless assholes to go killing my fucking community because you dont give enough of a shit to worry epileptic people. i am pissed off and emotionally exhausted and the shit with elon musk having a flashing gif on his twitter account was the straw that broke my back today so youre getting a pissed off PSA. everyone better start doing a whole damn lot better.
link to the CDC page about SUDEP
link to the epilepsy foundation site page about seizure risks
people without epilepsy are encouraged to reblog but know that i am already angry and will not tolerate bullshit on this post. give a fuck about other peoples lives and safety or im blocking you.
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the boys as bodyguards
dedicated to absolutely no one. sure this is an asks blog - does that mean i have to actually answer them? i know i know bad admins bad admins whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you but i had a dream ages ago now that involved bodyguards, tsunamis, and also a shit ton of murder. don't ask. anyway, it got me pondering. and then it took literal months to write this so i figured i'd post what i've got so far, and maybe i'll update with the rest of the boys later, depending on how well this does/how much time i have
hanamiya makoto
hanamiya’s the package deal
he’s the chief advisor; he’s the doctor; he’s the bodyguard; he’s the sniper. just a right hand man in every way possible.
i mean, he’s not literally your right hand man: he’s the leader of a team, and often it’ll be one of his men there next to you at events, but he’s always supervising or coordinating or collecting intel
ie he’s dedicated to his job. he does like engineering spider’s webs after all.
having said that, he’s also an uncontrollable prick
he’s the best at giving you advice, both in terms of navigating high society and in terms of actual business advice, but is he going to give that advice without slipping in a snide comment about how you should really know all this by now? when you tell him to make sure to take a break some time, is he going to stop himself from saying “maybe if you weren’t so incredibly useless on your own, i’d be able to.”
and sure maybe he’s breaking the universal declaration of human rights with what he does to the people who dare to try harm you, but you don’t know about that
need to know basis type beat
you don’t even have access to the full floor plans of your own property, which includes a basement you’ll never know about, let alone step foot in. hanamiya keeps that information very close to his chest.
gotta make sure his employer has plausable deniability
gotta make double sure that you don’t find out about half the things he does - from the ways he sources his information, to his very dodgy organised crime links, to the number of people that have sadly lost their lives in the name of “fuck it, you’re pissing me off” - because he hates when you bang on about bullshit like “laws” and “morals”
after all, if everyone followed your beloved laws and morals, then you’d have no need for his services
as he always tells you, he’s just your pet necessary evil
yamazaki hiroshi
i reckon he only got into the bodyguard business because he spent his childhood wanting to be a samurai but, well you know, that’s not really a job opportunity anymore
what it does mean though is that he’s all about bushido: mastering his work, bravery, honesty, etc - and above all else loyalty to one’s employer
on a random thursday afternoon, he’ll tell you, completely nonchalantly, straight face, “i would die for you if that’s what it takes. on my life, i’ll always keep you safe.”
you’re staring at him like wtf and/or trying to stop yourself blushing, but he thinks that’s a completely normal thing to say cause he’s just following bushido
of course, late one night, he’ll wake up realise how weird that came across and he’ll spend the next week trying not to blush whenever you talk to him
just like the time he spent a week kicking himself after you walked in on him training, shirtless and rather sweaty, and when you told him he should take a break, he said “but i need to train so my body can be at its best for you”
again, at the time that sounded very reasonable, serious, and totally bushido to him. it’s only later that he’s freaking out in his room like why in god’s name did he say that.
but hey that’s bodyguard!yamazaki for you. a little weird, a little socially inept, but loyal to a fault
haizaki shougo
can you imagine the number of jobs that this man has lost for sleeping on the job?
he’s only got his current gig looking after you because his prices are cheaper and you were getting desperate to find someone in your budget
he’s a ...uhh… unique bodyguard? in the sense that he’ll get you out of harms way eventually, but "eventually" is the key word there
haizaki actively ignores intel that a certain location might be dangerous, because he really just wants to get into fights. sure you might get in the way occasionally, maybe even get some nasty bruises, but hey you get what you pay for.
you want a good bodyguard, save up some money, idiot.
literally the only reason he got into being a bodyguard is so he can beat people up legally (and because he got dishourably discharged from the military); he doesn’t care that much about the whole ‘protecting’ side of things
he’s also the type to ditch you the minute a better paying job comes up (possibly combat work as a mercenary). however he’s not as cold-hearted as he may seem, and he’ll happily spend a day of leave breaking into your penthouse
so that when you return in the evening, he’s there sat on an armchair, grinning smugly, “man your security’s turned to shit since i left.”
shortly followed by, “miss me?”
jason silver
jason’s the quintessential bodyguard, cause, after all, having a very muscular 6’11 man follow you everywhere you go isn’t exactly subtle
but he’s recognisable for other reasons as well.
like the fact that he’ll accompany you to formal balls, and he’ll be the only man there with an undone tie - it’s such a massive argument trying to get him to wear an appropriate suit instead of his usual hoodies and sweatpants, that can anyone blame you for not having the energy to insist he stops undoing his tie as well?
he’s also not exactly one for professionality. like you’ll be minding your business, trying to network, and suddenly you’ll hear a wolf whistle by your ear and a “wouldn’t mind me a bit of that”
“jason, that’s the ambassador to norway. we’re having her over for dinner next week, so, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. and whisper next time, for heaven’s sake! what if someone had heard you?”
“shit, is it a crime to like some nice tits in this economy?”
and when you glare at him, genuinely furious, he grins, puts his hands up, and says, “sorry, sorry. forgot you don’t like me having eyes for anyone else, boss.”
but don’t get me wrong, jason’s not all evil contra to fujimaki’s propaganda
he is an incredibly good bodyguard - those animal instincts really help him out when it comes to getting you out of a sniper’s line of sight, or saving you from a bullet, or just assessing a room for potential entry points. and he packs a mean punch if anyone tries to try something on you, a solid ko.
no one’s getting past him essentially
the only problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to thank jason for saving your life, cause the last thing he needs is an ego boost or feeling like you owe him.
“seriously jason. i don’t know how i can ever repay you.”
“usually the payslip’s enough,” he smirks, “but you know that little lady ambassador-“
unsuprisingly, he’s not invited to the dinner.
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eyeballdrawer · 5 months
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I want to wish everyone a happy new year.
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scene-royaltylolz · 7 months
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Bacc 2 skool again :p
And w/ a new hairstyle ÙwÚ
(Yes, I covered my face for more than just privacy reasons XD)
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tangledinink · 10 months
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I can imagine the first cycle after moving. Probably Leo because Donnie likely has internal scarring, so leo goes through the process of laying his eggs, panics, his brother can't help, and finally, *finally* they ask for help. It's not willingly. It's not for fun. It's purely necessity. It's purely because there's *literally noone else* and the idea of telling anyone at all is so scary that the way they do so is in a note. Splinter sits them down and basically walks them through "You're safe, you're fine. We can handle this however you feel most comfortable, including getting you both on blockers if you prefer" and they just.... sigh. For the first time, there's *someone else* in their circle, and it's willing and it's warm, and it's *safe*. There will be tears.
Yes, except I'm not convinced that either of them could stand to tell anyone. Even if it was literally life or death (which it has been before,) I'm not sure if either of them could bear to give up that information. Donnie is finally, finally away from the people who hurt him when he got found out last time, and even though logically, he knows that it's different here, he's absolutely petrified of the thought that the same thing will happen again and it won't be over anymore. He's still horrified by the idea of anyone else knowing about Leo when he's gone to such lengths for so long to protect him, and Leo is likewise terrified in the same way. They've spent years with this being their more closely guarded secret, and that's going to be really difficult to give up.
But it's really not a secret they'll be able to keep for long.
They're in a completely different environment, with far less space and privacy. They're both stressed as hell and Donnie WAS on birth control and taking all sorts of vitamins and supplements to make sure he didn't eggbind again and now he's suddenly not and it's not only messing with his body, it's fucking scary. It literally keeps them both up at night. Neither of them know how to wash blood out of clothes or sheets. There's no private en suite bathroom they can sequester themselves away in. They're both literally making themselves sick with anxiety trying to deal with this, and they're used to handling this on their own, this is routine for them, but they're not used to all of this.
They'd probably metaphorically limp through a few cycles before their family puts it together and gently confronts them.
Venus probably figures it out first. She's pretty smart, and incredibly observant, and after all-- she quite literally experiences the exact same thing. April may not lay eggs, but I think she'd be able to get the idea after a bit as well. And while I think Splinter would realize something was wrong pretty quickly, Draxum would probably realize what was wrong first. Splinter has April, so he has a little bit of experience in this realm, but Draxum has Venus and so he has far more experience.
And so when they do sit them down and talk with them, it's going to be really scary at first. And then they get to, "you're safe, you're fine, we can handle this however you feel the most comfortable. It will be okay. No one will hurt you."
And then there's finally other people in the know, in the circle, people who will actually help them. And yes-- there will definitely be tears.
#leo in particular will probably panic at least a little when theyre confronted#because its been what? almost four years?#almost FOUR YEARS of him keeping this a secret at any cost#almost four years with no one else in the universe aside from his twin knowing#and now the spell is broken#but its okay#and they might panic and cry for a little but then they calm down and its... actually ok. things will actually be okay#april will take to big-sistering them so hard#and lowkey just? having venus exist in the household will be incredibly helpful#(she was honestly so baffled that everyone else didnt realize what was going on right away. it wasnt obvious????)#mikey tries to spoil them the same way he tries to spoil venus whenever she feels nasty#(but has to adjust a bit to respect boundaries because. donnie will bite him...)#likewise raph tries to take care of them the same way he'd take care of casey#(ie by leaving offerings at their doors and staying the fuck out of their way. just overall letting them do or have whatever they want)#their family will take care of them and keep them safe and things will get better#its honestly a huge relief when they get caught in some ways because leo can finally be like#and donnie got really sick one time and almost died and im scared itll happen again PLZ can we make sure it doesnt happen again#donnie in the background like >:0000 that leo just fucking OUTTED HIM LIKE THAT#but to leo 1000% worth it if it means donnie wont get sick and die#(as if donnie is actually realistically at any more significant risk of that than leo is)#(quite frankly theyre BOTH at risk of it at the time because of how stressed they are. lowkey a miracle neither of them eggbound yet smh)#also donnie def has internal scarring lmao;;;; poor bab. makes it a bit rough...#menstruation#tw menstruation#cw menstruation#gemini au#asks#anon#csa implied#cw csa implied
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kiwisandpearls · 8 months
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everytime I see a post (or anything similar to it) going “I’m not an anti or a proshipper I’m a third secret thing (literally describes being an anti/being a proshipper)” I gain the urge to cause incredible violence
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Kassandra of Sparta, Eagle Bearer ✨
So, how did I do this Halloween? 🥹
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pokeymonhearts · 5 months
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Happy Holidays, everyone! May you have a safe and lovely season, surrounded by people you love. ~Faux
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