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schmergo · 2 years

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I am just wondering about the sustainability of... doing basically anything around here. Companies are requiring employees to return to work (in many cases, eliminating telework options that existed PRE-pandemic), mask and vaccine mandates are being rolled back, and everything’s open again despite high COVID numbers.

But at the same time, recent studies show that up to 1 in 5 adult COVID survivors develops symptoms of Long Covid. That’s possibly millions of people developing chronic illness symptoms. That sounds difficult for both the healthcare system to manage AND to have any kind of steady, reliable, functional workplace if your coworkers keep being absent due to sickness and then developing long-lasting symptoms after they return (or quitting due to them).

Even for younger people, for whom it’s often not as bad, I’m seeing so many people get hit with post-viral fatigue and other symptoms lingering for a month or more that remind me a lot of mono. Imagine that like half of your friend group had mono... but unlike mono, kept getting infected again and again (I know many fully vaxxed and boosted people who’ve had COVID multiple times due to different variants). People who have always been super healthy and fit getting exhausted easily or developing new daily headaches who never had them before, struggling with ‘brain fog’ making it difficult to work. These are the young, fit ones.

If there are NO mitigation measures in place and we’re just expected to accept that we’re “all going to get COVID sooner or later,” that ignores the fact that people can get it again and again as each new variant arises and immunity wanes. Because everyone seems to agree that COVID isn’t going away but will just continue to mutate and change into new variants, this seems pretty risky, constantly rolling the dice on getting a virus that may cause LASTING health problems in 20% of people. Especially since so many jobs provide little to no health benefits and super low salaries, basically keeping people from effectively managing chronic illnesses that require frequent absences and medical appointments. I guess they think workers are replaceable, but how long before they burn through the supply?

But on the other hand, it’s also not sustainable to just stay in your room with no human contact for the entire rest of your life. I was super cautious for the first 2 years of the pandemic and now I’m finally doing indoor socialization with vaccinated friends and family again (though still not going into indoor public places like restaurants or movie theatres and still order things online rather than going into stores) because if things are never going to get any better, I don’t know how much longer I can wait. I guess I would rather develop lifelong chronic illness from making lifelong memories celebrating Christmas with my family than running errands at Home Depot.

I genuinely don’t know how long all of this is going to last before the widespread infections and chronic symptoms really start messing with... any industry you can possibly imagine. It seems like everyone is experiencing labor shortages already, and that’s only going to grow from here. Yet it’s hard to find anyone caring even a LITTLE about this. I can’t even talk to friends and loved ones about this because they just start trying to comfort me with the bright side of the COVID situation (”Omicron is less deadly! More people are vaccinated now! The chances of young people dying are vanishingly small!”), when those aren’t the things I’m worried about at all.

When I was 23, something weird happened to my body and I can’t quite say exactly what caused it, because it was a perfect storm. I worked a busy, stressful, physically demanding job at a preschool, and I was working about 10-12 hours a day because I was covering a boss on paternity leave. It was a cold, dark, snowy winter and due to the long work hours, I virtually never saw the sun, so it’s possible a Vitamin D deficiency played a role here, or psychosomatic symptoms caused by stress and anxiety, or just plain old repetitive strain on my body from the long hours. I was also diagnosed with a mild underlying condition during all this-- what is now known as Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder. I’ve always had loose, overly flexible joints, but it never caused me serious problems, just made it a little easier for me to get injured than other people and meant I got worn out a little more easily. Things were never bad enough for me to seek treatment until what happened to me that winter, and have never been as bad since.

But it all started with a cold. A weird bad cold that started like any other cold (and lord knows I was always getting colds working at the preschool) but quickly involved joint pain and weakness and tingly numbness in my hands and wrists, then spreading to the rest of my body over the course of a few weeks. I was so fatigued that all I could do after work was lie in bed. I could hardly make it through the work day. My whole body ached and I could barely do anything without exacerbating my constant pain.

I thought I must have mono. I tested negative for that and 11 other things. The only thing I was diagnosed with during my Extensive, Expensive Journey was hypermobility. My doctor said, “It’s probably just a virus,” which could mean anything. But I felt like a ghost of my former self for about 4 months and still had lingering symptoms for almost a year. Things went downhill so fast that I remember looking at a photo of myself doing a cartwheel two months before and crying because I couldn’t imagine ever doing a cartwheel again (which fortunately wasn’t true-- I have no problem doing cartwheels now at age 30). I eventually quit that job and got a less physically demanding office job. The symptoms never came back to the same degree, and I’ll never know what really caused it, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some kind of post-viral malaise played a role there. Even little colds can set off all kinds of storms, let alone a new virus.

When I hear about people with Long COVID, I imagine a workforce full of people who feel the way I felt when I was 23. Can you? I’m not proposing any kind of solution here or saying, “Here’s what I think people should do about it,” so I’m sorry for the gloomy post, but when people ask me why I’m still worried about COVID-19 after all of this time and my multiple vaccinations... this is why.

#COVID #COVID-19 #health

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macgyvermedical · 2 years

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Hi. I promise I'm not trying to be antagonistic so I apologize if anything in this ask comes off ass aggressive, I really don't intend intend to be.

In 2022, how should one expect to be treated if one goes into the ER feeling suicidal?

Chronic pain nonsense has had me longing for death more days than not. It got to a really bad point where I was strongly considering plans every single day...and the hospital completely blew me off.

Uhm, is this... typical? Should I expect that ER services are no longer able to handle situations where folks are considering suicide?

To be overly frank, I'm not opposed to the idea of suicide but I don't want to hurt others. I went for the sake of concern for those who love me. I'm not afraid to die if there were no consequences of it. Are there still resources for those experiencing feelings like mine, or should I seek anything else?

I don't have any sort of health insurance and I've been denied medicaid despite supposedly qualifying for it. I'm at my wits end and struggling to find what the hell I can even do anymore.

I'm sorry this happened to you, anon.

The ED works on a screening tool- if you score high enough, you should be able to get some level of care, even if it is just speaking with a psychiatrist (in a larger medical center, at least, in a smaller one it's probably going to be whatever doc is there). Typically self harm or suicidal ideation without defined plan or means will not be enough to "count" as needing emergency care (and tbh, if you got sent to the hospital every time you had suicidal ideation, you'd never be able to tell a counselor or work on those things). Just saying "I'm thinking about suicide" will most likely get a "yeah you and everyone else here buddy".

If you know you really need care and can't get it elsewhere- and as a med pro I hate to say this- exaggerate just slightly. Some things that will boost your score include reporting a defined plan with a timeline in the very near future and reporting access to your chosen means of harm. Make the triage nurse feel like you might die right in front of them, because to be perfectly honest, they're completely desensitized to everything else (and honestly probably a little bit desensitized to that too).

The nice thing is, if you do get admitted, the hospital wants to be able to recoup some of the cost and will do everything they can to help to get you on medicaid. This is also not a particularly crazy amount of help because let's face it, the social work department is understaffed too, but hopefully having that leg up with work in your favor.

If you then have medicaid, you'll generally have more options for mental health care. I would recommend starting by getting a primary care doctor instead of trying for a psychiatrist off the bat. It might take a while for a new-patient appointment, but primary care (especially those with a residency- look for offices with a strangely large number of providers or ask if the office is a residency/training clinic) can handle a lot of psych problems internally and can refer you to an outside psychiatrist if they can't help you adequately. Some family med and internal med offices even have their own social workers, psychiatrists and/or psychologists who can help on the spot.

If you do get a bill and don't make more than about 4 times the poverty line, you can call the financial assistance office, report your inability to pay, and ask about how much they can reduce your bill. For a lot of people living around or below the poverty line, they can reduce your bill to zero. For higher amounts of income, you can still expect a substantial reduction and a willingness to work toward a payment plan.

I know none of this is great news, but as far as I am aware this would be a good path forward for someone who needs access to the currently extremely stretched services of the US healthcare system and who doesn't currently have insurance.

#reference #nurblr #emergency department #ER #suicide #suicide tw #hospital life

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dionysusbee · 1 year

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Buzzing mind, collapsing spine

Feb 24th 2022 I tried to start writing about my mental health back in 2018 and whoops that lasted a few weeks before it fell apart. Big surprise with ADHD. Sometimes I want to put my feelings into words so bad it hurts but then I sit down like now and I can't really think of how to get those feelings across. There are always too many thoughts in my head, sometimes it excites me and I can’t express them fast enough, usually forgetting great ideas and losing them to the void that is my memory. Most of the time it just makes my head noisy and stresses me out till I can’t take even the slightest outside stimuli without feeling anger and rage welling up from the anxiety. I’ve spent most of my adult life learning how to control and change the ways I let my internal anger affect those around me. I am not always successful today, but when I do slip it’s not like it used to be and I can catch it and breathe and apologize. Compared to 15 or 20 years ago I am nearly a completely different person where my anger is concerned. I began years ago to train myself to never go with my first reaction in my head, sometimes not even my second or third. It took a long long time to make it a habit, then a reflex, but now I'm pretty good at not jumping to my first angry thought.

Between executive dysfunction and a terrible short-term memory I’m never really sure which way my mind has betrayed me is the worst. If I had the executive function of my early twenties when I was almost manic 24/7 for years at a time I would probably be better off than If I had a better short-term memory and no executive function. My life is closer to balance now than it ever has been, If I could just find the last piece of the puzzle right now which is a part-time job that doesn’t make me want to unalive myself from the endless monotony of slaving away for a tiny fraction of my labors worth I would be able to function a bit better. If I could just cover all my bills and still have some time to live a life outside of work. Full-time work, even when its work I love, is way too much for me, I can’t sacrifice half of my waking life to people who would ditch me in a second if I underperformed and be expected to act like they’ve done me some massive favor instead of literally stealing my labor.

Lately, I’ve been very very seriously debating smoking again. I loved it but hated its effects on my health but, honestly, nicotine was the single best drug in my life for my ADHD and executive dysfunction. I quit it once, I could do it again I tell myself. At the rate my health is going now from poverty I am not going to make it till my seventies anyway. And given my family history I don't have long-lived genes so I won't be making it past probably;y 75. 2 grandparents dead at 72, and a mother dead at 63 literally killed early by poverty, I’ll be lucky to make it to 70 if I had endless perfect healthcare right now. But the Canadian healthcare system isn’t for the poor. Sure I can break my leg and not owe money but the important preventive healthcare that truly extends life isn’t for the poor here. Poor people only get reactive emergency healthcare, I’ve begged for over a decade for fully involved active mental healthcare but all I can have is 6 appointments with a social worker working under a psychiatrist, and I get those 6 appointments once every 2 years. I should be happy with this people insinuate. It’s the standard everyone is getting, as if that makes the half-assed help effective. Mindfulness and meditation cannot heal what's wrong with me, I want actual therapy but can’t get it, indeed after over 10 years of begging for a diagnosis I’ve had one 20 min appointment with a psychiatrist and no new DX from that. I am almost certain I have more going on than ADHD and server chronic depression but I’ll never know it in this lifetime I'm convinced. If I smoked I’d be far more active, probably close to manic again. I would get outside more, I used to be outdoors most of every day at one point in my life. Now I walk the dog 3 times a day and never as long as he deserves or needs. If I didn’t like it I could switch to vaping and ween myself off. I never had access to anything like vaping when I quit last time. June 21st, 2011 was my last full smoke. June 2011 was coincidentally the last time I ever felt like a functioning human being. Gods I haven’t craved a smoke like this since 2011 but it's not the body desiring the drug anymore It’s my mind missing the clarity of thought, the way the world slowed down and I could breathe it all in and see it all around me instead of the incessant reeling flood of inputs that are always too much and speed up my thoughts and muddle them till my head is like white noise, but not the soothing kind, more like the static from an old TV with jarring out of synch spots full of discordant whistles and screeches.

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trees-are-drawing-me-near · 1 year

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The people were dying because they were on the ventilators. Like, its proven the the ventilators killed people with "covid." You murdered people and think you have the high ground

What do you mean I murders people? I don’t and have never treated patients. I’ve put in multiple replies that I’m not a nurse. I work in a lab now. I was a patient sitter and a screener giving people visitor badges when I was furloughed in 2020. As a patient sitter I literally was just sitting there with some patients who were at risk of harming themselves to alert actual nurses and emergency department staff if anything happened. And I literally never even had to. I never touched a patient, administered any sort of treatment, and certainly never made medical decisions for one. I did witness some really sick people get taken to Covid units which was really tragic. It was late march/early April 2020 when so very little was known about Covid and they were treating people based on protocols for viral infections and respiratory distress but like I said, at that time they had literally never treated Covid 19 before. A lot has been learned since that time. Covid treatment protocols have changed multiple times since early 2020 as more information and experience with the virus has been available now. I was in the hospital. I was around the people actually treating patients. They were doing what they thought was best course of action based in limited knowledge. Protocol for using ventilators for Covid induced respiratory distress is different now. Medications are administered differently now that different things were tried. Hell, in 5, 10, 20 years a lot more will be known about Covid 19 and how to treat related viruses. There’s no great conspiracy. I saw the fear and stress that was around during the time I was a patient sitter because it was an unprecedented public health event. Yeah there’s some duds and assholes in every healthcare profession, I’ve met plenty. But the bast majority are just doing what is accepted based on best practice based on the ever updating word of medicine. Healthcare workers are just normal people trying to make a living for their families and not a secretive group of evil satanic panic underground grand conspiracy. I keep seeing this recurring trend of misinformation in the people replying to me about patients being put on ventilators for fun so nurses could gleefully watch them die. That’s such a bizarre idea. No doctor is omnipotent and knows exactly the precise treatment for every single person on earth to treat every single disease down to every symptom. Science is based on being able to replicate things. Treatments for diseases are developed based on trial after trial and when it can be established that certain courses of action will produce the same results most of the time. Take for example antibiotics for a UTI. There are so many antibiotics available, but there are certain first line, second line, etc. ones that are prescribed because it has been established that they will fight the infection most of the time. However, the first course of antibiotics may cure the infection in some patients, because every body is different and there are so many variables that determine how to body will react to treatment. Some patients are going to need a secondary course of action. But not every medical professional will know precisely without error what will work perfectly for everyone. They go by established best practice. Have you noticed that when anyone enters a healthcare facility, every single test known to man is not done on every patient every time? That’s just not feasible. Also, there are shortages in healthcare professionals now because of the pandemic. Many people left because of the terrible experiences with patients and admins. People are angry, nurses/techs/etc are subjected to violence from patients sometimes and it’s not worth it for many. Things are bad in the American healthcare system. Unfortunately, many hospitals and facilities (especially nursing homes) are underfunded and therefore optimal care is not available everywhere. I genuinely wish it was. But blaming some nurses making like $16/hr in some rural, shitty hospital for patients with co morbidities not surviving Covid despite

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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IOTA Reviews: Wishmaker

Goddamn it...

It's bad enough Astruc tastelessly axed Lukanette, but now he just had to show up to give a sarcastic eulogy at the funeral.

Let's get into the fourteenth (chronologically the eighteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Wishmaker

Right out of the gate, we get a “Chloe bad” joke with her insulting Marinette for being poor or whatever as she hands out flyers for an upcoming career fair. Chloe doesn't have much of a role in the episode, but she will be important towards the end, trust me. We also get a funny “Marinette stares lovingly at Adrien” joke while she sees him, so it's good the writers are at least trying to get their strange habits out of their systems now instead of later.

While reading over the flyer in his room, Adrien ponders a possible career as he doesn't want to keep being a model.

(The episode came out in English first, so I'm just going to be using quotes instead of screenshots of subbed scenes for this review)

Plagg: Don't you wanna continue to model?

Adrien: I don't think so, Plagg. I'm doing it now because my father asked me to. But now I realize I don't know what I'd want to do. I've never asked myself that question.

This is a really interesting dilemma for Adrien. Unlike other episodes that just have him feel sad for entirely superfluous reasons like Ladybug turning him down or generally moping about his mom, it feels like something you can really understand. He genuinely isn't sure what he wants to do with his life because he's had everything chosen for him before. I also like the use of the English dub saying Adrien modeled because his father asked him to, as if he couldn't actually say no. I also like how Adrien is still starting to lose faith in Ladybug for giving out Miraculous to everyone, which makes even more sense after his view of her was shaken in the previous episode chronologically, “Rocketear”. I also like how Plagg suggests ideas for a career for Adrien, like the two of them opening up a cheese shop together, which shows how Plagg cares for Adrien and wants what's best for him, ultimately highlighting how healthy their relationship is. He's almost like a big brother who gives advice to Adrien, even if it isn't the most sound advice at times.

On the other hand, Marinette already knows what she wants to do with her life, but the Kwamis start to argue over what she actually means by it by saying they know what she wants to do, a painfully accurate metaphor for the writers dictating Marinette's actions no matter how inconsistent they are.

Pollen: What's a career, dear Guardian?

Marinette: Oh. Well, it's... your job! Something really important that you do and gives meaning to your life!

Roaar: Oh! So, your job is being the Guardian of the Miraculous!

Mullo: Of course not! It's being a student!

Xuppu: Not at all! It's making presents for Adrien!

Marinette:Well...

Longg: She said “something important”, like when she crafted the big doll house to hide the Miracle Box!

Wayzz: Or when she designed the alarm for this room! What a masterpiece!

Marinette: Sure, I love crafting but—

Ziggy: You guys don't get it! What gives meaning to her life is to be in love with Adrien, or Luka, that's her job!

Fluff: Luka's the one with the guitar, right?

Kaalki: Her real career is being Ladybug and carve her name in history by her glorious deeds, of course!

Of course, their bickering somehow makes Marinette realize she isn't sure what she wants to do in the future after all.

We then cut to a reality show hosted by TV personality, Alec Cataldi. He's generally an asshole to the people on the shows he hosts and takes pleasure in humiliating or just being a dick to them, making you wonder how he still gets work with that attitude. Basically, he's the Alec Baldwin of the Miraculous Ladybug universe. The current show he's hosting is one where he roasts people for their jobs, making Andre a target by pointing how counterproductive his “business” is.

Alec: Here's a perfect example: Andre, the Ice Cream Maker, the ice cream man that is never around! Let me remind you how this goes: Andre doesn't have a shop, no one knows where he is, it takes forever to find him, and he gets to pick a flavor of your ice cream! You've gotta be kidding, Andre! Give me one reason why I should bother to chase after you when I could get my choice of ice cream in any corner supermarket!

Andre: Well, people don't just come for ice cream when they find me. They come to share their love and experience of magical moments! A supermarket cannot do what I do! I am a creator of magical moments!

Alec: “Creator of magical moments?” You've gotta be kidding!

I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of people thought of Andre when they first saw “Glaciator”. The idea behind Andre is that he chooses ice cream for you representing something about yourself, so he gives Alec a scoop of lime to represent his sour exterior and chocolate cinnamon to represent the dreams he still has within. Alec flinches a little at the ice cream, presumably because of how terrible of a combination that is, and decides to go to commercial to think.

Marinette talks to Andre about what he does, and he explains he used to be an office worker, with the only highlight of his days being making ice cream for himself after work. It eventually inspired him to quit his job and start making ice cream for everyone. It's a nice backstory, and I think a lot of people watching who are struggling to think about their future can relate to this like with the earlier scene with Adrien. It's also a nice touch for the flashbacks to reveal Andre has served ice cream to some of France's most famous couples.

(Jean Coutau and Jean Marais)

(Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin)

(Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet)

Granted, I'm wondering how old Andre is to have even met some of these people given Jean Cocteau died in 1963, but seeing how Master Fu is 186, I'm guessing the Miraculous Ladybug universe just has really good healthcare. Either that, or the people in this universe take Jay Kordich's diet very seriously.

Andre gives some ice cream to Marinette, who is soon joined by her ex-boyfriend who she never loved according to the writers. Actually, judging from her face when Luka talks about the very first guitar he made, the writers made another 180 regarding Marinette's feelings for Luka.

Of course, because the show wants to remind the audience Alec still exists, he makes fun of Luka for taking two years to perfect the delicate craftsmanship it takes to sculpt any instrument when you can just download an app on your phone. Your inner boomer is showing, writers, even if you were born after the time period for that generation. Luka retorts with some vague philosophical line he's known for that's one of the reasons why people are so mixed on him as a character

Luka: Musical instruments fill the space and space fills the instruments. No phone in the world will ever be able to do that.

Despite it being incredibly confusing, it gets to Alec, causing him to run off in tears. Luka and Marinette continue to talk, but it turns out that's Adrien decided to sit down nearby because of course he did. Though, like the last scene, it's a pretty interesting one as the three discuss what they want to do with their lives. There's also a really nice visual of a blimp with an ad Adrien was in passing by while Adrien talks about his father dictating his life, a really nice symbol. Of course, the scene is somewhat ruined by Luka suddenly deciding to be an Adrienette shipper.

Luka: You two will eventually find what's already in front of you, but you can't hear it clearly. Just let the melody flow.

He's referring to their uncertainty of their futures, but earlier on, Luka wanted to help Marinette be honest with her feelings about Adrien, and even before that, Andre was saying that Marinette and Luka didn't have to be in love to enjoy his magic ice cream. It's here when I realized this episode is subtly trying to end any chances of Lukanette still happening with so many little details. Right when the two spend time together, that's when they decided to help Adrien who showed up for no reason, preventing them from potentially coming to terms with their feelings for each other or at the very least discuss how hard it is to be friends with their history. And things only get more frustrating towards the end, where you'd swear someone decided to smother Lukanette with a pillow in its sleep.

Back to Alec, he's roasting a wig salesman (does he even have permission to film any of these people?) for his job, but as soon as the salesman puts a wig on him, Alec immediately gives us his life story.

Alec: When I was a kid, I used to have long hair, but everyone made fun of me. That's why I shaved it all off. I've been making the wrong choices my whole life. My TV shows are nothing personal. I make fun of people when they make fun of me when I was a kid. (Starts to tear up) I should've been the person I always wanted to be, trying to change the world instead of mocking it! (Falls on his knees) I've wasted my life!

I didn't paraphrase this at all. This is seriously what happened. He goes from mocking everyone he meets, to slightly doubting himself after seeing an ice cream vendor and a young musician, and then he starts having an existential crisis about his tragic backstory. It's not a bad idea, but if there was some more buildup in previous episodes, I'd understand. But this goes from confusing to straight out insulting towards the end. I'll get to that later on.

Shadowmoth notices Alec's emotions and akumatizes him into Wishmaker through his microphone.

Wishmaker has a pretty cool design. The grey skin color coupled with the mostly black outfit really highlights Alec's broken heart, and he looks pretty sinister. His powers... leave a lot to be desired. Like the name states, Wishmaker has the power to make everyone's childhood dreams come true, like this one guy's dream is to be Santa Claus, so he transforms into Saint Nick without any hitch. Wouldn't it make more sense if Wishmaker twisted the dreams of his victims like a genie and made them miserable while they ironically lived out their fantasies by twisting around their words? Instead, all of his “victims” seem pretty happy, which doesn't really do much to make him a threat in my opinion.

So the aforementioned Santa starts dropping presents like bombs near Marinette, Adrien, and Luka, and they're separated by a giant robot. Marinette quickly transforms into Ladybug, and gets Luka to safety, though as soon as she leaves, Luka goes to check on where he told Marinette to stay for safety, and doesn't see her there. Instead, he sees his deadbeat father (transformed into a crocodile) drowning and goes to save him.

Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir (who transformed off-screen) and the two easily incapacitate the robot before engaging Wishmaker, avoiding his blasts. Apparently, they'll get their secret identities revealed if they get hit, so Ladybug goes to get Luka to help out as Viperion while Cat Noir holds off Wishmaker. Ladybug goes to get Luka, leading to the funniest joke in the episode.

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She gives Luka the Snake Miraculous and he transforms into Viperion, immediately activating his Second Chance. For newcomers, Second Chance allows the user to set a point in time when activating it and if something goes wrong, they can go back to that checkpoint in up to five minutes. Ladybug also summons her Lucky Charm, a stuffed dinosaur toy.

Back with Cat Noir, as he engages Wishmaker, the Akuma starts to tempt him with the idea of living out his childhood dream, because he genuinely doesn't remember his. As Shadowmoth orders Wishmaker to use his powers on Cat Noir, Ladybug and Viperion show up, but in the chaos of the fight, Ladybug gets hit by Wishmaker, revealing her childhood dream as the “Knitting Fairy”, and exposes her identity to Viperion, who uses Second Chance to undo the timeline.

In the new timeline, Cat Noir's vulnerability gets to him, so he willingly lets himself get his by Wishmaker, not only exposing his identity as Adrien, but tragically reveals his childhood dream, to be whatever his parents wanted him to be. I feel like this works a lot better than some of the other moments where Cat Noir defied orders or screwed around on the battlefield because it's clearly framed as a moment of weakness on his part, and it was naturally built up over the course of the episode. The reveal of Adrien's childhood dream is a real gut punch too, as it shows just how much Adrien's life has been controlled by his family.

In the third timeline, Viperon deflects Wishmaker's blast meant for Cat Noir and redirects it toward a man whose childhood dream was to become a giant stuffed dinosaur. The stuffed dinosaur in question goes to give Wishmaker a hug, restraining him long enough for Ladybug to steal for Cat Noir to cataclysm (It's a microphone, how hard is it to break???) before she de-evilizes the Akuma. Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug to force everyone to stop living out their childhood dreams, she gives Alec a Magical Charm, and Luka decides not to tell Ladybug he knows both her and Cat Noir's secret identities. Why did Ladybug expect Luka not to know her identity when the whole reason she recruited him was to make sure nobody else found out her identity?

Now, while it isn't outright said, it's hinted at that now that Luka knows Marinette is Ladybug and Adrien is Cat Noir, judging from his dejected look after finding out the latter, he may be giving up on all attempts at the idea of getting back together with Marinette, and may or may not start shipping the Love Square now, just like how Kagami decided to ship Adrienette in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. I'm not saying the idea of Luka knowing someone's identity is bad, but it feels like this only happened specifically to stop him from having feelings for Marinette because now he knows Adrien loves her alter ego, and vice versa. Maybe it'll be touched upon in a later episode, but this was just a dick move by the writers in terms of ending all chances of Lukanette like this in order to ensure the Love Square has absolutely no competition.

So the episode ends with Marinette and Adrien deciding to focus on their futures while Alec starts a new show where he helps people live out their childhood dreams, albeit dressed like Style Queen for some reason.

Eh, he still picked a pretty cool Akuma to dress up as in my opinion. A lot of people have viewed this ending as evidence Alec is a drag queen with how he dressed up, coupled with the fact that he said something that was very similar to famous drag queen RuPaul.

Alec: And now, we're gonna love one another, starting with everyone loving themselves! Because how are you gonna love other people if you don't love yourself?

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Though Astruc, being Astruc, once again decided to be vague when asked about the subject on Twitter, though at least the subtext is better than when he said he didn't make Juleka and Rose girlfriends because of censors while making it seem like a noble act.

Overall, this was a really good episode, though there were some underlying issues that really kept me from actually liking it. For the most part, it had some good drama with the main character, a rare scene where Marinette didn't stammer around Adrien, a creative (albeit flawed) Akuma with some good action, and an interesting idea with Luka knowing everything about the Love Square now.

There are just two big problems that really got to me about this episode. Let's get the obvious one out of the way, Luka. Honestly, he really didn't need to be in the episode. Sure, he gave some sound advice to Marinette and Adrien about their careers, but it felt kind of strange to see someone their age talking to them about their future when Andre, someone who actually had experience struggling to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, was pushed to the side. And like I said earlier, I think the only reason Luka found out about Marinette and Adrien's identities was to discourage him from thinking about getting back together with Marinette. After all, now that he realizes how “made for each other” they are, he can't stand in the way of the Love Square.

The problem is that in the context of the episode, we don't really see what made him see things that way. At least in “Mr. Pigeon 72”, Kagami consistently viewed Marinette's attempts to get her and Adrien back together as a subconscious desire to be with Adrien. It was dumb with how she decided to go to Team Adrienette at the end of the episode, but it was something. I'm glad the episode didn't force in too many Love Square shenanigans, but I think more should have been done to contextualize Luka's feelings towards the reveal. I get the writers wanted to make sure Lukanette had no chance of coming back, but this just feels rushed.

And then there's Alec's redemption arc. While it's not a bad idea in concept, the problem is that it flies in the fact of a recurring theme this season, that being redemption. Because, here's the funny thing: Alec blatantly said he became an asshole TV personality because of his history of bullying, and decided to retaliate as a result, but he eventually saw the error of his ways and turned over a new leaf. For long time readers of this blog, I apologize for bringing this up yet again, but what exactly makes this different from everything Astruc said about Chloe? You know, when he said that you make your formative choices when you're fourteen? Just like how Alec decided to become a reality TV host making fun of people after a troubling experience from when he was a kid?

Let's say that I agree with Astruc's views about Chloe. How is Alec different from what Astruc's said about Chloe for almost two years at this point? What makes Chloe, someone who was the victim of a troubled childhood who never got help, an irredeemable monster while Alec, someone who also had a troubled childhood and had even more time to get help while never getting any, capable of change? I thought he Alec made a formative choice when he was young and stuck with it, just like how Chloe started to fully develop at the age of fourteen. I mean, Astruc, you yourself said that Chloe's troubled childhood “was no excuse to treat people like shit”, according to you.

I'm just saying, dude, if Chloe can't be redeemed because of the stuff you yourself said, then that shouldn't apply to Alec either. When you really think about it, it's almost like Astruc either made up a bunch of excuses to not redeem Chloe, or he's a massive hypocrite for going back on his word. You can't really justify this kind of hypocrisy relating to Alec's redemption when you remember just how much of a hardass Astruc was when explaining why redemption was impossible for Chloe.

This coupled with the treatment of Luka really drags this episode from really good to blatantly insulting to certain viewers. Then again, these two choices just got to me personally. I feel like if those two things weren't there, things could have made this episode a lot better for me personally. I can see why a lot of people in the fandom still like this episode, but I'm honestly not a fan of it.

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world-of-ryan · 3 years

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When COVID-19 shut down production last March, it especially hit hard for NBC’s New Amsterdam. The show not only films at several real-life hospitals, including Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn and Metropolitan Hospital in Harlem, but it also had a pandemic storyline planned. Of course, not the coronavirus specifically.

“There was so much fear and anxiety at that time around the pandemic, we didn’t want to air an episode where people were getting sick left and right and further scare people,” says series star Ryan Eggold, who plays medical director Dr. Max Goodwin, in this exclusive interview.

But New Amsterdam will touch on the COVID-19 pandemic in its Season 3 premiere. It will feature a very powerful montage showing the doctors and nurses at work trying to save lives, working until they are exhausted, showing people getting vaccinated, and then moving into post-pandemic stories.

“Working on a hospital show, post-pandemic, our first responsibility is to tell the stories of the nurses and doctors who have worked so tirelessly to try to keep people safe and healthy,” Eggold continues. “Peter Horton directed that episode. And I think his and [executive producer] David [Schulner]’s intention was to honor the healthcare workers and what they’ve been through and start in that place of, this has been Ground Zero of fighting the pandemic, and it has taken its toll on everybody.”

From there, the story continues with Dr. Vijay Kapour’s (Anupam Kher) life hanging in the balance due to COVID, Dr. Helen Sharpe (Freema Agyeman) unable to touch people as a result of lingering anxieties, Dr. Iggy Frome (Tyler Labine) facing his eating disorder/body issues and Dr. Lauren Bloom (Janet Montgomery) unable to give up her patients to their special-care physicians.

“It’s kind of like that wartime mentality with soldiers coming back and having trouble adjusting to civilian life,” Eggold says. “These doctors were so overwhelmed with patients, not enough beds and trying to keep up. What are the ramifications on their personal life and their psyche? And how do they get back to the new normal?”

Also, viewers will get a long-awaited moment between Max and Helen. Expect some resolution regarding their feelings for each other, despite the fact that Helen has moved on with new head trauma surgeon Dr. Cassian Shin (Daniel Dae Kim).

“I will say that I think Max and Helen have a unique relationship that they are forced to confront this season and figure out what it means for better or for worse, and finally name what has been unspoken for a while,” Eggold adds.

For more scoop on season 3 of New Amsterdam, read more of the interview with Eggold.

How did the New Amsterdam pandemic episode compare to what actually happened?

I haven’t seen that episode because it didn’t air, which is usually how I see them, so I would be curious to know myself. It’s pretty wild. It’s happened to the writers a few times where they’ve written something and then it happens later. But nobody could have predicted COVID was going to happen.

I saw the first two episodes and it feels like a sadder show this year. Will that continue?

No. There’s a lot of humor. I was saying to David, “Is Max getting too broad?” There has been a lot of humor on the show lately, which is nice. I think it’s important to find humor and joy amid a pandemic because we have to remind ourselves what we’re fighting for. The intention is not to make it super heavy and sad, but certainly in the beginning to discuss it; it is a heavy, overwhelming, larger-than-life situation that we’ve all been through.

Max also seems to have lost his “How can I help?” attitude–which is what inspired him to take the job and kept him going when he lost his wife. Will he get that back?

Yeah. I think it’s evolved from how can I help, or how can I fix the system and make it better, to how do we begin again? And how do we build from the ground up because we weren’t prepared for this and it changed a lot of things. I think his perspective has widened in a good way and he will see things differently this season.

What will be the new challenges for Max this season?

One thing is he’s a single dad who is trying to get his hospital through this pandemic. And he has left his daughter Luna with [late wife] Georgia’s parents in an effort to protect her and keep her safe as he is going to the hospital every day. But I think there’s a lot of guilt like, “Am I doing the right thing? Am I being a bad father by not being there? Am I neglecting her?” So, that’s something that he wrestles with.

Then the question of romance. Is there a partner for him to find and is he ready to start a relationship with someone after losing his wife? In the back of his mind, I think it’s something he wants, not only for himself but for his daughter.

(Photo by: Virginia Sherwood/NBC)

There’s a moment where Max realizes that some of his great, crazy ideas aren’t always the right way to do things. Is he growing?

Absolutely. He’s a character who’s full of ambition to change things and to make things better. And he’s very headstrong and optimistic. He’s certainly overly idealistic about how to make those changes happen. The show is about finding out the reality of how that change happens. You have these lofty ideas of, “I want to make everything better, I want to do X, Y and Z,” and you can’t do that overnight, so what does it look like on a daily basis? How does change occur on a systemic level, which is certainly bigger than the individual?

To your point about admitting fault, I think he’s learning that he can’t do this on his own and he can’t change the world overnight and that you need other people. You can’t be a one-man band, so I think he’s going through a lot of change and evolving a lot.

What was it like filming in the hospital in March 2020?

Our last day of filming we were at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, and it was weird. People were starting to get nervous, “Should we be filming in a hospital?” We didn’t know a lot about it. Is this real? Is this really growing the way people say it’s going to grow? And very quickly, the world changed overnight.

It’s the right decision not to film in the hospital right now, not for our show, but to get out of the way of the hospitals and to let them function to the best of their capacity when there are so many serious things that need to be addressed. And, then for the show, to keep everybody safe, of course. But I hope we can get back to that once this pandemic is behind us because there’s always this wonderful authenticity to be found when we can shoot in those places because you are near the reality of healthcare so it helps you reflect that story.

Did it take New Amsterdam longer to come back because you had to change your filming locations?

We had to build a lot of sets. We had to build a lot of the hospital locations that we use, and we had to add more sets and locations we could film in. Then everybody was just making sure it was safe and making sure we had the practices and protocols in place to do our job, be safe and not put anybody at risk. To everyone’s credit, it feels really safe. We’re tested every day and we have a lot of protocols in place that keep the set running efficiently and safely. It’s a good place to be.

How did you handle the pandemic?

I look back and that was so much time that we had. I feel like I should have written a novel, climbed a mountain, or something. But, no, I slowly went crazy and did all the usual, like slept. I did do a fair amount of writing. I wrote a screenplay, trying to put my brain to work a little bit. I was in denial like, “This will only last a month of weird whatever.” Then a month goes by and you’re like, “I guess it’s still going.” Seven months go by and it was crazy. It was nice to slow down and catch up with family and unplug for a minute. I wish it had been under better circumstances and people’s lives weren’t at risk, but, yeah, there were some positives.

#new amsterdam #ryan eggold #season 3 #press release

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elwingflight · 4 years

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Coronavirus: Information & Guidelines

What you can do now, and what to prepare for

There seems to be a lack of what-to-do suggestions on tumblr beyond handwashing, so I thought I’d put something together. I’ve never actually encouraged people to reblog something of mine before, but this might be the time. To be clear: I am not personally a public health expert of any kind. Both my parents are (epidemiology/global health degrees, worked for CDC) and I’ve run this by them. My information is coming from disease researchers on twitter and official public health guidelines online. Sources at the end of the post. This is mostly directed at people in countries where COVID-19 has been reported (I’m in the U.S.), but is not *yet* widespread in the community. Written Mar. 1st 2020, last updated 3/9 (shorter, helpful twitter thread here, helpful NPR article here)

General Info

Firstly, a lot of politicians are *still* trying to sugarcoat things, but it should be clear by now that the new coronavirus is spreading widely and will continue to do so. Because of the incubation period, and in the U.S. at least the delay in testing, the number of cases is almost certainly going to increase rapidly in the near future no matter what we do now. Official government sources are helpful, but its also good to look at what experts on viral epidemics who aren’t directly government-affiliated are saying. Their agenda is purely informing the public in the most constructive way possible, without politics getting in the way.

Two key points- COVID-19 can have a long incubation period (the time from when you catch the virus to when you start showing symptoms) and most people don’t get severe symptoms. Some are entirely asymptomatic, but most people get typical flu-like symptoms. Specifically, the early symptoms to watch out for are a fever and dry cough (meaning, a stuffy nose is probably just a regular cold). Its possible but unlikely to transmit the virus while asymptomatic, most transmission happens when you have heavier symptoms.

The most vulnerable people are the elderly (~ over 60) and those with preexisting health conditions (i.e. cardiovascular disease, respiratory condition, diabetes), or a simultaneous infection with something else (NOT kids in particular!) So far the mortality rate has been about 1-2% (compared to 0.1% for the general winter flu - yes, this really is worse). However, that might be an overestimate, both because people with mild cases aren’t getting tested (the denominator should be bigger), and because the early situation in Wuhan, where a lot of our numbers come from, was especially bad in regards to availability of healthcare.

This is an emotional, difficult situation. Don’t panic. The world didn’t end in 1918, and its not going to end now. But it is very serious, and we need to be thinking about it rationally, not pretending everything is just going to be okay, or uselessly pointing blame. Take care of your mental health, and check in with each other. Epidemics test our generosity and selflessness. Those qualities are needed right now, but don’t neglect yourself either.

What You Can Do Now

There is stuff everyone can do both to prevent yourself from getting infected, and to prepare if you do. ***The big picture to keep in mind is that the biggest risk of epidemics is that they overwhelm our system, especially our healthcare system. What I mean by this is that our society is built to deal with a certain volume of things happening at once- people buying groceries, getting sick, etc. If we suddenly all rush to do something, we overburden these systems and they won’t be there for the people who need them most. Therefore our goal is to slow down the spread of disease, buying time and lowering the overall burden on these systems. This is called “flattening the curve”. It looks like this, and I cannot stress how important this is.***

A very helpful thread on preparedness

Staying Healthy

Like similar viruses (think colds and flu), COVID-19 is mostly transmitted from person to person, usually by close contact but sometimes from an infected surface. More here.

Wash your hands. Everyone has heard this one- 20 seconds, soap all over your hands, wash the soap off. If you can’t wash your hands use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer (at least 60% alcohol). But handwashing is absolutely better. Also- cough into your elbow/shoulder, not your hand, and avoid shaking hands- try elbow bumps or maybe a polite nod instead! If you’re handwashing so much that you’re hands are threatening to crack and bleed though, consider washing more strategically or using hand sanitizer instead.

In combination with hand-washing- stop touching your face, especially while out! This takes practice, everyone does it all the time without thinking. A good practice is to avoid touching your face while out, then wash your hands thoroughly as soon as you get home.

Similarly, avoid touching surfaces as much as possible! Particularly bad are door handles, elevator buttons, that kind of thing. The virus can probably (based on studies of related viruses) last a while on these. Regular gloves can help a bit. Use a tissue then throw it away, use your elbow, etc.

Do Not buy face masks! There’s mixed evidence on whether they’re at all helpful when used by the general public to prevent catching a virus, but actual medical professionals who need them are facing shortages (that’s probably part of why so many healthcare workers got sick in Wuhan), so our buying them up is really bad. The only times you should be wearing them is if you yourself are sick (they do help then!) or if you’re looking after a sick person. Seek instruction in that case in how to use them properly. (Thread on why buying those fancy masks is not good).

If COVID-19 is in your community, try to stay 6 feet from people, which basically means going places as little as possible. See below.

Planning Ahead

Its also a good idea to prepare in case you need to self-quarantine. Self-quarantine is necessary if you’ve potentially been exposed to COVID-19, or if you’re sick but not enough to need to go to the hospital. Follow local guidelines- if there’s lots of transmission in your area, nonessential workers will probably be advised to stay home as much as possible.

If you’re able, get medication now. Don’t go crazy and buy out the drug store, just a reasonable amount. Try to get at least a month’s worth of any prescription medications. This can be hard at least in the U.S. - your doctor may well be able to prescribe more, but insurance companies and drug stores can be terrible. I’ve found trying a different drugstore can sometimes help. Try your best. They may also be reluctant to prescribe more to avoid causing shortages. Idk what the right answer is here.

Don’t go crazy and buy out the store, but start getting a little extra shelf-stable or frozen food. Even some root vegetables that will last a few weeks. You want enough for 2 weeks in case of self-quarantine, but you do NOT want to empty out stores. Panic buying is definitely a stress on the system. Just add a few extra things each time you shop. Don’t forget about pets. You can always eat the food and replenish it over time.

Make a plan with your family/community. If someone gets sick or needs to self-quarantine, is there a corner of the house they can stay in? Who can take care of them? etc. I haven’t focused on plans for schools/religious communities/workplaces etc but those are very important too! This is one place where keeping an eye on local and national news is important. In the U.S., for example, school systems are planning ways to make food available to kids if they’re not going to school.

If COVID-19 is starting to spread in your community, think about how else you can be a good community member. Cancelling nonessential doctor’s appointments, surgeries etc may be very important, for example. If schools are closed, can you help out neighbors with childcare? Do you have a cleaner who may need to be payed in advance if there’s a quarantine?

If You Might Be Sick/Need to Quarantine

See likely symptoms above. Remember, normal colds still exist, and if you go to the doctor for every one of those you will overwhelm the system.

Don’t just go to a hospital! Call ahead to your doctor/clinic/hospital and get instructions on what to do. Getting healthcare workers sick is something we really want to avoid. That said, DO get tested as soon as possible, and act as if you are contagious. The health coverage situation is the U.S. is not yet clear (and ofc its not something the current admin is eager to clarify). Hopefully testing will be covered financially by the government, but I can’t promise that at this time.

In the meantime, stay home and quarantined if you show any symptoms of illness if you possibly, possibly can. This is especially difficult in the U.S. if you don’t have sick leave/childcare, but please. Do your utmost.

Look after yourself. Skype/google hangouts/etc is great for keeping connected. Have some chocolate/chicken broth/other sick foods ready.

The Big Picture

Coronavirus/COVID-19 has not been declared a pandemic yet, but it probably will be before long. This is almost certainly going to get worse before it gets better. We don’t yet know if warmer weather will slow its spread, and a vaccine will probably take about 1-1.5 years to be developed and tested. As I mentioned before, the best thing we can do to keep the world working, minimize mortality, etc is to slow the spread as much as we can, and minimize the strain on the system. Hospitals are going to be overwhelmed. There aren’t infinite unoccupied beds or ventilators, or people to operate them, and supply chains could get disrupted. Thinking about these things is scary, and it will take time to adjust to what’s happening. Start that process now, and help everyone you know reach the point where they’re able to act, not panic. Another reassuring thing- if we slow the spread of COVID-19, in addition to fewer total people getting sick, you will soon have people who are recovered and almost certainly immune. These people will be invaluable as helpers in their communities.

Now that the practical stuff is out of the way, I want to say from a U.S. perspective that yes, our lack of social welfare other countries take for granted is going to hurt us. Lack of access to childcare, no guaranteed paid sick leave, and of course expensive healthcare are massive problems that will make it much harder to limit disease transmission. Help each other in any way you can, and vote for candidates that support implementing these policies! And of course, watch out for propaganda of all kinds, whether its using the virus as an excuse for racism, calls to delay elections, etc. So far my biggest concern is a lack of willingness to admit how serious this is, but we can do this. Lets put extra pressure on politicians to be honest and change policies to actually help people. But, yes, lets also stay united. We need each other now (just, you know, 6 feet apart).

A few sources

In general, the Guardian is a great, free, reliable source of news. In the U.S., NPR (website as well as radio) is another great source. The Washington Post and Seattle Times have made their coronavirus-related coverage open access, not sure about other national newspapers.

twitter thread from World Health Organization (WHO)

U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) COVID-19 homepage (not being updated in some ways it should be, like total # of tests)

A reality check from some non-Governmental experts (basically, what governments don’t want to say yet, which is that this virus is going to spread, and the goal now is to infect as few people as possible, as slowly as possible. Read this.)

Why you should act now, not when things get bad in your area (we’re always operating on outdated information)

If you want the latest technical info, The Lancet (major medical journal group) has all of their content compiled here, open access.

I can do my best to answer questions (i.e. ask my dad) but those or other reliable, readily find-able sources should have you pretty well covered. Do let me know if anything on here is wrong or needs to be updated! Stay safe, stay positive, we can do this.

#coronavirus #covid19 #covid-19 #healthcare #actually important shit

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teeentyonepilots · 4 years

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There’s a lot to unpack here and I don’t know how much I am capable of bringing myself to say.

I have just finished 3 twelve hour shifts in a row on a COVID unit. I spent Easter taking care of people who are sick because the world waited too long in implementing the safeguards we needed to prevent this pandemic from happening— exposing what is flawed and broken in our healthcare system. There’s much more I could say on this, but again... I have spent many, many hours doing direct patient care for several days with little rest. I don’t feel like writing an essay.

What is immensely disheartening, as someone who took inspiration and hope from twenty one pilots and Level of Concern, is to see them breaking quarantine as I’m breaking my back on the frontlines. First it’s Jenna getting her hair braided for the video (the pressure injuries on my ears and face say hello. I’ve been looking like crap for well over a month), and now it’s the whole Joseph family violating social distancing by gathering for Easter. (And don’t tell me it’s a closed loop... his sister went to a completely different party before theirs, thereby transmitting exposure between around 10-20 people)

I don’t care how much people think they’ve been social distancing... because it’s probably not enough. All non-essential contact... all gatherings... all of that is to be cancelled. All of it. I won’t belabor the point because the information is out there, repeated endlessly by reputable sources. Many people are asymptomatic and therefore transmitting it to the most vulnerable. But also younger/healthy people are getting VERY SICK and even dying. Not to mention the long term effects we don’t even know about (like lung damage, which would be terrible for a singer, huh).

I have seen and heard so much that I don’t know what the long term effects will be on myself and my peers. We are at war and if we survive, it is going to be a painful and emotional road to recovery. We are watching so many people die. I did CPR this weekend. That’s how I celebrated this holiday weekend.

Not only am I a nurse taking care of COVID patients, but I am also a month away from getting my masters in epidemiology. I have studied epidemics for years. I know what I am talking about.

So this is all immensely, immensely disappointing that Tyler, who I considered to be an intelligent person, put his selfish desires to see his family before the health and well-being of everyone else in the world. Because that’s what it comes down to. Someone who has as large of a reach as him is not allowed to be a bad example because if everyone else thinks the same way, more and more people get sick and die.

I cannot make excuses for him when I was breaking my back on the same day, away from my own family, wondering if I will ever get to hug them again. Because I know I am exposed, and it’s just a matter of waiting before I see if I get sick, and another roll of dice to see how sick that would be. My people, my fellow healthcare workers are getting sick and dying because we’re getting exposed day after day. There’s already so many things working against us, the least everyone can do is stay home.

If everyone could walk a day in our shoes, you would understand why and just stay happily at home. The things I have seen. My body and soul aches and it hurts knowing someone I respected completely missed the point... and Level of Concern feels almost like a performative cash grab. Maybe I’m spiraling downward, but this fucking sucks, man. Twenty one pilots was my escape for bad days... the shows were a goal for me to survive to... I’m just plugging along and doing my thing, but it all feels really hollow that Tyler behaved like that.

#clique drama #i rambled i know but i’ve been through a lot #tyler’s facial hair is so stupid in the photo and he looks like an idiot how he’s grinning #i am glad i’m already a josh stan #the duns stayed at home

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fandomfanfics12 · 4 years

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Home Lives With You-Part 4

Title: Home Lives With You. Pairings: Steve x Tony Part: 4/? Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, blood, abuse (physical and verbal), ptsd, anxiety, bullying Summary: Peter’s been living with the abusive Thompson family for years, it was the only family in the system that would take him. When Steve and Tony get a phone call from the social worker who introduced them to their daughter Morgan for an emergency placement, they feel like they must pay back the favor. But are Steve and Tony taking on more than they can handle, and will Peter be able to adjust to a warm and welcoming family home? A/N: kinda long, next part should be out some time in the next couple of days, hope you enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Steve wanted to pretend that he was calm, that everything was fine. But as he carried Peter’s body to the bed in the ER, his heart was pounding in his chest and Peter was trembling in his arms.

“I’m sorry, just take me home, I’m fine, I’m sorry.” He sobbed as a nurse pointed Steve to the bed. Steve had placed him down gently, Peter was uncontrollably shaking.

“A doctor will be with you shortly.” A nurse had said and drawn a curtain around them, blocking off Steve’s view from anything other than Peter.

“it’s alright kiddo, we’re going to get you checked out and you’ll be alright.” Steve stepped forward to take Peter’s hand but the kid grabbed his shirt, balling his fist in it.

“I’m really fine, please can we just go back to your house sir? Please?” his voice was so high pitched and broken that it brought tears to Steve’s eyes. He placed his hand over Peter’s balled his and squeezed it gently.

“We’re going to get you checked out and you’re going to be just fine, alright?” as if on cue, the curtain pulled back so a man could step through and then it was shut again.

“Sorry for the wait, I’m doctor Banner.” He smiled and Peter whimpered, shaking like a leaf.

“I-I’m Peter.” He stuttered and Doctor Banner nodded, not even looking remotely phased by Peter’s terror.

“It’s nice to meet you Peter, what seems to be the problem?” Peter nervously glanced to Steve and then let go of Steve’s shirt, his hand slipped through Steve’s like water. And then Peter lifted his shirt up and over his head, a gasp fell out of Steve’s mouth.

Cuts and bruises covered Peter’s torso, the angry red gash stood out like a sore thumb and when Peter rolled onto his side so doctor Banner could properly examine the gash, there were welts on Peter’s back. Doctor Banner was frowning and looked at Steve, judgement in his eyes.

“I’m his foster parent, my husband and I only received the call for Peter’s emergency placement a couple of days ago.”

“I’m assuming this was the incident that caused the emergency placement?” Doctor Banner asked and Steve nodded.

“I guess so.” But doctor Banner wasn’t listening to Steve anymore, his attention back on the yellowish greenish gash.

“Who stitched this up?” he asked, lightly pressing around the area as pus oozed out of the wound. Doctor Banner was smiling, as if that would comfort them and make this alright, as if that would be comforting.

“I did.” Peter mumbled and Steve inhaled sharply.

“And it was your old foster parents that did this to you?” Peter nodded his head, his lip wobbling as Banner’s hands moved closer to the gash. Instinctively Steve stepped forward, taking Peter’s hand and Peter began squeezing it immediately. Banner glanced at Steve and Steve saw the concern in his eyes, the nerves.

“I need to take the stitches out, disinfect the wound and then stitch it back up again. I’m about to go get another nurse to assist me in this process but I’d like to keep Peter in until tomorrow as I’m worried about sepsis.” Steve nodded, looking at Peter’s face which had scrunched up from the pain.

“My husband and I have healthcare, just do whatever you can to help him.” Steve said, looking back up at Banner who looked relieved.

“Okay, I’ll go get the nurse.” Doctor Banner stepped out of their little space and Steve began to stroke Peter’s hair with his free hand.

“it’s going to be alright Peter, I’m going to take care of you.” he promised but Peter was shaking his head.

“Hospitals are expensive, I’m not worth it.” he sobbed and Steve shook his head, more tears welled up in his eyes.

“It’s going to be alright Pete, the doctors are going to take care of you.” Steve promised and Peter nodded, his bottom lip wobbling.

“I’m scared.” He whispered and Steve bent down, kissing the top of Peter’s head.

“You’re going to be alright.” Steve promised and then Doctor Banner was back with a nurse.

“Alright Peter can you give me your arm? You’re going to feel a little pinch but it’s going to help with the pain.” Steve sat down on the bed and Peter curled into him, flinching as the nurse inserted the needle.

“It’s alright Peter, I’m right here, you’re going to be just fine.” Steve promised and not a heartbeat later did Doctor Banner start to take out the stitches, and Peter’s screams filled the ER.

As soon as they had left Morgan had come downstairs, eyes big and red and puffy.

“Daddy?” she asked and Tony whirled around to find her standing behind him.

“Princess what’s wrong?” he asked, scooping her up into his arms.

“I had a nightmare, where’s Peter?” her bottom lip wobbled and Tony began to rub soothing circles between her shoulder blades as he led her back upstairs.

“He’s not feeling well baby, so dad took him to the hospital.” At that, tears began to roll down her cheeks.

“I thought I heard him screaming.” Morgan’s lip wobbled and Tony nodded his head, not wanting to lie to her.

“Yeah baby, but Dad’s going to take care of him alright? He’ll be home before you know it.” Tony’s mind flashed back to the gash in Peter’s side, how he had yelped when Tony had touched him.

“promise?”

“I’ll even pinkie promise.” Tony held out his finger and she curled her own around it, looking instantly relieved as she did so.

“Can we go see him in the hospital tomorrow?” she asked and Tony nodded.

“Sure thing princess, but only if you go to sleep now.” she nodded her head, smiling.

“And can we get him a teddy?” tony nodded, although he wasn’t sure how much Peter would appreciate a stuffed doll. But nevertheless, Tony stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, her eyes drifting shut as Tony exited the room. But as he went downstairs, the nerves only rattled through him. He wished he could be comforted by a simple pinkie promise, but that wasn’t the case. Tony took a deep breath and then he started cleaning. First it was just cleaning up a few cups and plates that Steve had left around the house, then it was wiping down the countertops, then scrubbing the toilets, followed by cleaning the sinks, followed by going through the fridge for any outdated food and then Tony decided to put on a load of washing.

Eventually the exhaustion weighed down on Peter and he drifted off to sleep. A nurse had tried to tell Steve to go home, come back in the morning, but Steve refused to leave Peter alone. They’d taken him away for thirty minutes to do an x-ray when Peter’s drug induced state had admitted that he thought he had some broken ribs. Three to be exact. According to doctor Banner, the welts on his back would have been from being whipped by a belt. Steve had felt nauseous at that point. How could anyone have ever done this to Peter? When the nurse came to check the gash in Peter’s side, Steve went to the cafeteria to go get himself a cup of coffee. That’s when he called Rhodey.

“Steve?” Rhodey’s voice was groggy, Steve must have woken him up.

“Hey Rhodey, I’m at the hospital with Peter. I want to know what the fuck happened when he was staying with the Thompson’s.” at that, Rhodey sighed.

“Why are you at the hospital?” Steve squeezed his eyes shut, he had dreaded making this phone call.

“there’s a gash in his side that’s gotten infected. The kid has three broken ribs and these welts and-“

“Steve I’m going to ask you to please calm down.” Calm down? Was Rhodey serious? How the hell was Steve supposed to calm down after seeing how badly Peter had been injured?

“it’s bad Rhodey. I want the Thompson’s in prison for what they’ve done.” Steve snarled and Rhodey sighed.

“There’s already an investigation in place. And while I know it’s not your fault, this could put a delay in the adoption papers.” Dammit. Steve clenched his jaw and took several deep breaths.

“can we at the very least extend his stay with us?” Steve asked as calmly as he could manage.

“I’ll look into it. I’ll come by the hospital tomorrow alright? We can talk about this then.” And then Rhodey hung up, Steve slammed his fist into the wall, frustration and anger burning inside of him. Why was everyone acting so calm about this? why weren’t they taking this seriously? Steve shook out his hand and called Tony, heart racing and tears in his eyes.

It was 3:17 when Steve finally rang. Tony answered on the second ring, glad to finally have something to do with himself. Glad to finally know what was going on.

“How is he?” and then he heard Steve’s shuddering breath.

“he’s asleep right now. the doctors want to keep him here for observation, they’re worried about sepsis?” Steve swore and Tony began to pace, his stomach twisted and churned.

“it’s bad isn’t it?” Tony asked, sitting down to prepare himself.

“he has three broken ribs, and he’s covered in cuts and bruises and the doctors think he was whipped with a belt and he had to stitch up that gash up himself.” Steve’s voice broke on the last word and Tony inhaled sharply. He was glad that Steve had been the one to take Peter to the hospital, Tony wasn’t sure he’d have been able to be strong for Peter when hearing and seeing those things. At least now he could prepare himself for having to see that.

“Are you okay?” Tony asked, tears in his eyes. He hated it when Steve cried, Steve only ever cried if something was truly awful, if something was truly sad.

“I just wish you were here.”

“sweetheart.” Tony breathed and Steve inhaled sharply. He wished he could be there too.

“I called Rhodey too, he said this could put a delay on the adoption.” Steve admitted and Tony nodded, he’d figured as much.

“as soon as Morgan is awake we’ll come to the hospital.” Tony promised although it didn’t make him feel any better.

“Okay, get some sleep honey.” Steve said and sounded better, but Tony just felt worse.

“I’ll try. I love you.”

“love you too.” Tony hung up and sat back on the couch, mind reeling. And then Tony got to his feet, heading to his office where his laptop was waiting. He opened up and started digging.

Peter woke up to find he was completely alone. Even through the pain killers, his side ached and throbbed. Slowly he sat up, looking around but there was nothing familiar. He’d known it was stupid, but he’d hoped Steve would stick around. He’d probably call Rhodey, asking for Peter to be gone. Peter was just starting to fully realise that he’d have to go back to the Thompson’s when Steve came back, coffee in hand.

“You’re still here sir?” Peter mumbled and Steve’s eyes widened.

“Of course I’m still here, how do you feel?” he sat down in the visitor’s chair, a tentative smile upon his face.

“sore sir.” Peter admitted and Steve nodded. He took a sip of his coffee and the silence filled the room, stretching out and suffocating the both of them.

“Peter I’m going to ask you some questions and I’d like it if you answered them honestly.” Steve said at long last and Peter nodded.

“okay sir.”

“Were the Thompson’s abusive to you?” Peter looked away, his groggy mind unsure of how to say it.

“Mr Thompson hit me sometimes.” He admitted and Steve nodded.

“I thought so, and what about mrs Thompson?” you are nothing more than a worthless piece of shit!

“Not physically sir.”

“Was Mr Thompson the one who did this to you?” at that, Peter’s bottom lip wobbled.

“Yeah, but I dropped a plate and I should have been more careful, I shouldn’t have been so careless.” Peter whispered and Steve frowned.

“Mr Thompson did all this to you because you dropped a plate?” Peter nodded, fear curdling his insides.

“it was my fault sir.” Peter whispered and Steve clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath. He’s worried that I’m going to drop one of his plates. Peter thought and wondered if perhaps that would be the last straw.

“Tony and Morgan are going to come by in the morning alright? Get some rest kiddo.” Peter nodded, settling into the bed. Because he finally had an excuse to sleep in a bed and not on the floor.

Dear Mrs White…

My name is Tony Stark-Rogers and I would like to join the lovely establishment known as Midtown High’s PTA. My husband and I recently took in our son and will be adopting him very soon and I would love to get involved any way I can. I heard there was a bake sale next Sunday and was hoping I could participate?

Kind regards,

Tony Stark-Rogers.

Tony grinned at the email as it sent through, plans for how he would destroy Rose Thompson. They wouldn’t be able to refuse him, and soon enough Tony would expose the Thompson’s, effectively seeking revenge.

Steve was sitting with Peter, trying to tell him about a tv show that he wanted to Peter to watch when the door opened and a small eight year old launched herself onto the bed.

“Peter!” she cried, wrapping her tiny arms around Peter’s torso, Peter only winced slightly.

“hey miss.” He smiled and she returned it, all toothy and giddy.

“Daddy said you weren’t feeling well?” she asked and Peter nodded, Steve just looked to Tony who seemed to be in shock a little. There was an assortment of wires, going into and coming out of Peter’s body. It was a little unnerving.

“I’m feeling better now that you’re here miss.” She nodded and pulled back, turning to Tony and holding out her tiny hands. He revealed a bag that he had concealed behind him and handed it to her.

“Daddy and I got this for you.” she thrust the bag forth and Peter’s eyes widened and he nervously looked to Tony.

“Thank you sir, but I can’t accept this.” at that, Tony crossed his arms.

“Non-refundable I’m afraid.” He shrugged and Peter looked down at the bag, Morgan frowning.

“Aren’t you going to open your present?” she asked and Peter nodded, tears shining in his eyes as he took the little brown paper bag from her. Inside was a plush fluffy elephant and Peter inhaled sharply.

“It’s perfect miss.” Morgan grinned and clapped, practically jumping up and down.

“Easy princess.” Steve reminded her and she nodded, Peter looked back down at the toy and then glanced back up at her.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” he whispered and she giggled, Tony stepped closer and Steve wrapped an arm around him.

“Boy!” she shrieked like it was the most obvious thing in the whole entire world.

“And what’s his name?” Peter asked conspiratorially like he and Morgan were executing a top secret mission rather than in a hospital room. There was a soft smile on Peter’s face and Steve was overwhelmed with compassion for the kid who was so good with their daughter.

“Benjamin, but we call him Benny.” She decided and Peter’s smile widened.

“I had an uncle called Ben once.” Peter admitted and she frowned.

“can we show this to him?” the smile faded and Peter shook his head. Steve’s stomach curdled, he didn’t like where this was going.

“No miss, my uncle is in a very faraway place.” Peter told her and Tony inhaled sharply beside him.

“Oh, can we go visit him?” she asked and Peter shook his head.

“I’m afraid not. But that’s okay because I’ve got you miss.” Morgan nodded and then moved on to talk about the pancakes that Tony had bought her for breakfast.

“we’re just going to step outside and fill out some forms, can you watch Morgan?” Steve asked and Peter nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of Morgan as she started rambling on. Tony and Steve stepped outside and Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s body. Despite the fact that Steve was bigger, he practically collapsed into Tony.

“Thank god you’re here.” He whispered and Tony nodded, rubbing his hands on Steve’s back.

“It’s alright sweetheart, you did good.” Steve nodded, glad to be held by his husband. Glad to have a husband to hold him.

“I just couldn’t believe that someone was capable of doing those things, especially to a child. And the worst part about all of this,” Steve stepped back, rubbing his eyes to stop the tears from shedding. “it was all over a plate.” Tony blinked, confusion written over his face.

“a plate?”

“Peter dropped a plate and that’s why this happened. It was all over a fucking plate.” Tony’s brows rose and Steve saw the anger that burned in those eyes.

“We’ll make them pay for this.” Tony promised and Steve nodded and then he shook his head.

“Rhodey said there was already an investigation, there’s nothing we can do. We shouldn’t get involved.” Tony just stepped back and scratched the back of his head, a smile spreading upon his lips.

“what did you do?” Steve asked and Tony raised his hands in defence.

“I didn’t do anything. Not yet at least.”

“It’s going to stay that way, we shouldn’t get involved.” Tony looked down and nodded.

“you’re right, we shouldn’t.”

Just because Steve said they shouldn’t didn’t mean they wouldn’t. Susan White had emailed him back earlier this morning saying she’d be delighted to have another additional parent to the PTA. The plan was already in motion and hearing that Peter had been subject to this torture over a plate only solidified Tony’s hatred for the Thompson’s even more. He was going to get revenge, and he’d show no mercy for those assholes

It was Sunday evening and Peter was finally allowed to come home. Steve had stayed with him all weekend, he went home to shower once. Peter had begged him to go home at night and sleep in his own bed but Steve had insisted on staying. That just made Peter feel guilty. Even now, sitting in the front seat of the car, he wanted to apologise.

“I’m sorry about the hospital bills. I’ll get a job and pay you back sir, I promise.” Peter said as the car pulled into the driveway.

“Pete relax, you don’t owe us anything.” But he did, more than he’d ever be able to repay them. First thing would be Morgan’s present. He clung to the elephant now, it was possibly the softest thing he’d ever held, and the first present he’d ever received.

“but I do, you and Mr Stark Rogers have done so much for me already and-“

“and we were more than happy to pay for it, now let’s get you inside okay?” Steve got out of the car before Peter could argue the point more. But the use of the word were snagged in Peter’s mind. Past tense. Peter got out of the car and made his way to the front door, it was almost eight o’clock but the sun was only just starting to set. Summer vacation would start soon and Peter wished he could stay here with the Stark Rogers.

Were.

This was a bad sign, Peter recognised these things, was used to being told that people didn’t want him anymore. He’d always known his time here was limited, he was only meant to stay here for a month, but were they really going to kick him out already? Were they really about to ship him off to the next family when Peter hadn’t even been there a full week? And if they were shipping him off, what would the next family be like? What if they were as bad as the Thompson’s had been? What would Peter do then?

“Honey we’re home!” Steve called as he opened the front door, Tony entered the hallway and smiled.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked and Peter’s stomach twisted and churned.

“Better, thank you sir.” Tony nodded and his eyes shifted from Peter to Steve.

“Peter we’d like to talk.”

@smallnjh @picklepotatoe14 @thatisamericasass @briebriebrieee @aftereveryraincomessunshine

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mc-slowwalker · 3 years

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Idk if America is covering it up but it's all I fucking see. Before, we all thought the pandemic would be over when the vaccine comes out. And NOW we have this wonder of science with 3 vaccine that WORK and stupid people won't let this fucking pandemic end. It's just getting worse. It's like there was a glimpse of freedom but anti-vaxxers ruined it.

My friend literally has asthma and they won't let her get vaccinated. She's scared she'll get kicked out if she gets it on her own. Colleges are doing terrible with covid how are you gonna trust Americans at a con? They're already not good with boundaries, how are you gonna encourage them to go when there's a deadly, SUPER contagious virus going around?

I'm just so mad about this, genuinely. Of course covid is terrible but how can Tommy contract it and then continue to encourage vidcon? And Wilbur and everyone else too? It's so unfair. Bad is also going and he's had covid too! Which he said he got from just going to Walmart or something so can you imagine how bad it'll be at a MASS GATHERING.

I cannot believe how little they're thinking about this. Imagine how many people have had covid, or had loved ones get covid, or at the worst, lost loved ones to covid? I know I've had that fear multiple times because I have family in non-first world countries. It's so insensitive and makes me insanely uncomfortable.

The display of just not caring is bothering me the most. You got covid, you're young so you don't have to worry about your immune system. You don't have to worry about dying. Can you imagine how immuno-compromised people feel? Teachers? Healthcare workers? People with elder family? They don't get that privilege of not having to worry.

I'm just so angry about this, sorry for the long rant. - lettuce anon

My family was sure that things were gonna chill after the vaccine and even though we knew that the antivax movement was big I think my parents thought that the government would do more? (Spoiler alert: they didn’t)

Colleges are doing shit, though I’d say I was a hypocrite because I’m going to college in a couple of weeks. My only options are go to college or get a job, and moving to college protects my family more immediately. It’s probably the selfish option, but either way I’d here to leave the house and put people in danger. I’m vaccinated, paranoid, and super antisocial so wish me luck. If/when I do get sick it’ll be easier to quarantine in a college dorm rather than my very full home. Even that I feel guilty about, I don’t know how vidcon goers don’t feel guilty

But yeah both tommy & bbh got covid by chance despite precautions so the fact that they’re still willing to go is,, wild

I don’t have any family in non-first world countries so I can only relate so much on that front, but my dad’s girlfriend is a healthcare worker and has an autoimmune disorder, so if the family gets covid she will likely not survive. Actually my mom and dad are really high risk too, covid could easily wipe out my family

And I’d like to point out a huge demographic that people (not you) like to leave out when talking about vaccines: cancer patients and recovering vaccine patients! They can’t get the vaccine because it will kill them but if they get covid it will kill them. Immunosuppressed people are gonna suffer too! Arguably I don’t know it immunosuppression is all that different from immunocompromised so I could just be arguing a point you already made

#anon #ask #lettuce anon #long post #tw death #tw covid #feel free to rant always but do keep in mind I will respond to most of it giving you a rant back

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cafenzie · 3 years

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I'm annoyed. Again.

So I'm making the morning rounds on YT with coffee and lo' and behold what pops up on my feed but a video titled "Fat Activist Tess Holiday Diagnosed with Anorexia??" Already I got a bad feeling, but I have to make sure, and what do you know, only a few minutes in pisses me off more than I thought it would.

Why do people use fatphobia to insist that people who are fat, who are overweight, who are of different shapes and sizes, just...have eating disorders? It's just, no no it can't be possible because they're fat. This man goes on to say that it's "insulting to people with eating disorders"; that Tess Holiday, a fat woman (who he also claims to be a fat activist which...I have issues with but separate topic), being diagnosed with anorexia and coming forward about a very real and harmful eating disorder, is an "insult". Show me how it makes sense because this shit isn't adding up.

Let me just say this: you people like this, who think this same way, are absolute fucking hypocrites. Not only do you hate on people who are fat for being fat, but then when they try and lose weight whether by using healthy methods, or unfortunately other harmful alternatives like eating disorders, you still shame them. You make fun of fat people working out and you laugh when they eat anything. You tell them that "they can't have an eating disorder" because they don't "look like it". What you've done is create a standard for what eating disorders look like, and guess what: it makes it all worse. Remember circa 2013 Tumblr era? Yeah, the Tumblr that romanticized mental illness/disorders especially eating disorders with all the "thinspo" that went around like wildfire? Same thing.

By stating that there's a certain way that people with eating disorders have to look not only invalidates those with them (extremely dangerous, makes it worse no matter what), but you're also enforcing yet another form of a beauty standard that only spits back at them that they have to look a certain way. You're creating fucking criteria for a mental illness and eating disorder. Not only that, but doing so is denying those with ED the help and support they need to let them know that the behavior they're exhibiting is extremely harmful; instead, you're just enforcing it more. We've seen the extreme opposite also happen all the time, with skinnier or thin people be denied that they can have eating disorders because they "fit the mold". Both are extremely harmful, but with fatphobic comments like this, it's always different because you're denying that they can ever fit the mold, and otherwise you'll mock them for trying.

Everyone can have an eating disorder, and people like you are sick and the reason why so many continue down that path thinking nothing of it. You really want to tell me, at 12 years old starving myself every day that I'm an "insult" to people with "real" ED?

This also applies past hypocrites allowed internet access like this, too; it's healthcare workers especially. I've seen and heard stories of plenty of fat people who admitted and confided with professionals that they had an ED or clearly exhibited symptoms of it, but instead of helping as those healthcare professionals should, they deny it the same way you are denying it. How does a system backed by lousy healthcare help anyone like that?

I'm done. I'm royally pissed off, but I'm done for now. I'm sick of people like this who only are actually encouraging ED by promoting ignorance like this.

#tw ed #tw eating disorder #eating disoder recovery #eating disorder #fatphobia #tw vent #vent

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thessalian · 3 years

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Thess vs Being a Cryptid

One thing the COVID pandemic did was to bring to the forefront some of the issues of the National Health Service.

Some. Not all.

I mean, yes, the nurses and the care staff and even the doctors get treated badly (though at least the doctors get paid worth a shit). You know who else gets treated badly?

THE FUCKING ADMINS.

When the NHS started getting underfunded, know where the first cuts went? Yeah, three guesses and the first two don’t count. I recall being called into a staff meeting about how they were changing the pay bands and basically downsizing the admin department. I remember the time we were down to, like, three admins out of, like, twelve because of recent holidays and a particularly bad flu season and being told that we couldn’t have a temp because the one agency we were allowed to hire from had no temps left. These days, one NHS admin staffer has to do the work of at least two, for less pay than any one decent secretary would generally get for the same work in the private sector (healthcare or otherwise).

Ever seen the admin wing of any NHS hospital department? Unless it’s for the Chief Executive of the Trust, the entire place is generally a hellhole, no matter how nice the rest of the hospital is. One office I worked in had no window because it used to be a scanning room and the window was covered in lead. That was one of the nicer ones. I’ve worked in rooms that were clearly larger once but had walls thrown in to make more offices - that or it was literally a closet with a hastily-added window. The one I’m in now has ceiling panels still removed from the ceiling - with exposed wires - from when we had the new intercom system put in, buckets still on the floor from when the ceiling leaked, the smell of mildew coming from the space between floors because of that leak, a bathroom no one has ever maintained, and walls that have cracked and been hastily covered over with plaster that no one’s bothered to paint over. Also the cleaners don’t come nearly often enough, and when they do, it’s generally during working hours.

All of this morale-destroying bullshit ... and we keep things running. We arrange the appointments, send results where they need to go, ensure records are up to date, ensure that diaries are managed appropriately and that everyone gets to where they need to go, when they need to get there, with the things they will need when they get there. Your healthcare situation is bad and requires a multidisciplinary team? We’re the ones that coordinate that so that you can still see the doctor you’re most used to and thus most comfortable with but still benefit from the expertise of doctors who might have a different take on your issue that might help you get better faster ... or get better at all. You need your appointment moved forward because a symptom did something really weird and atrocious? We’ll do what we can to facilitate that, up to and including trying to shake a phone consultation out of the consultant. The NHS wouldn’t run without doctors or nurses or care workers ... but it wouldn’t run without us either.

But no one sees us. So no one actually seems to realise we’re there ... at least not until it’s time to pin blame on someone.

We’re the fucking shoemaker elves of the health service. We turn up, we work our arses off, we make things work ... but since we’re apparently invisible or some shit, we get either a) a bunch of people who seem to think that all the stuff that happens on the back end is just magic and just happens or b) some overpaid, underworked gobshite gets the credit for our hard work.

In the interview that got me the current job, they asked me what I thought being a secretary was all about. I explained that we are the feet under the swan; the swan glides gracefully and serenely across the water ... and you wouldn’t know from looking that underneath, those little webbed feet are paddling like mad. We’re the ones who paddle like mad to keep the illusion of serenity and grace.

But yeah, we’re also shoemaker elves; all of the work, none of the credit.

Between the erasure / invisibility of my gender presentation and sexuality and this? It’s a wonder anyone ever sees me at all. But I guess at least I’m a cryptid.

...Fuck this; I wanna be a kelpie.

#Thess has a day job

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punishedalexandar · 4 years

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so the organized Belarusian opposition has recently published a list of demands and i thought they’d be worth going over in addition to everyone who is covering the protests themselves.

the manifesto can be found here in russian (archive.org link as i’ve started getting a 508 error in between compiling this and writing it as a tumblr post). i will not go over every word there but i encourage you to read it yourself if you feel my summary is incomplete.

the second paragraph of the introductory section starts out saying “To create a modern labor market with low unemployment, opportunities for young people, economic potential for investors and entrepreneurs, it is necessary to establish a new balance of interests.” here it bears emphasis that according to the world bank belarus’ unemployment rate (source, world bank) is 4.5%, putting it on par with Austria. remember that low unemployment is the first thing listed by opposition economists, as this will be relevant later. when they tell us they are looking to reduce unemployment and create opportunities for investors in a country with regionally normal unemployment rates, what they mean is they want to create opportunities for investors only.

we now move on the the first bullet-point in the section “Problems to be Solved by Our Reforms”

“The labor market is over-regulated. Difficulties in hiring and firing employees“ this is for sure an odd criticism to make considering we were just told unemployment is apparently the main problem. i don’t know about you guys but i sure wish the labor market here was over-regulated and it would be more difficult to fire people. im not one to use reaction gifs but this would be a great place for a confused sassy black woman.

the bullet-point list is concluded by a repeated statement of grievance against the state for overstepping its bounds in determining the terms of an employment contract “reducing the incentive to work.” if your employer was lobbying for their right to increase the “incentives to work” in their contract with you, what do you think that’d look like ? what does that term mean in a practical sense, would your employer have to lobby the government to offer you lucrative overtime pay or would they rather lobby to reduce your base wage and then add a performance-adjusted “bonus” ? the second point simply states that “The government's job creation and retention policy focuses on maintaining large state-owned enterprises through cash infusions, though the resources of the state in the economic crisis are declining.” again as if a job retention scheme is inherently a bad thing.

on to the next list, “Goals and Objectives of the Reform”

“Development of a promising system of full and productive employment based on the priority of generally recognized principles of international law.“ it would be nice to know what is meant here by “recognized principles of international law” unless of course that means selling off of the before mentioned state jobs to international businesses at below-market value as was done in virtually every country in eastern europe in the last 25 years, in that case i would not like to know what they mean by that expression.

“support for the unemployed and workers at risk of job loss” just seems further contradicting all the previous grievances of how hard it is to let people go, so is your plan to jeopardize their position and then give them training and assistance to make up for the loss of job security you caused or ???

(TOP - “5. Modernization of infrastructure (roads, electricity, thermal energy, telecommunications, water supply, waste collection and environmental protection”

BOTTOM - “to attract investors”)

the rest of the list is really just more repeats or meaningless terms like “fighting corruption”

now we’re getting to the meat of the reforms: how they are proposing to realize them. in order to generate employees, they are proposing to: support the liberalization of hiring practices (most likely meaning introducing zero hour contracts), threefold reducing the individual tax rate, adoption of the patent (as a practice), threefold reduction in rental rates for objects owned by the state, reducing administrative burden by half.

as a result of these changes, 300k jobs will be created in the next two years. the plan says verbatim “These places will be occupied by both young people and workers dismissed from state-owned enterprises.” now i must confess i did not go to business school but i feel like if you fire 300k people, and then re-hire (most of) them with worse contracts, while paying less to rent the factories or land they worked on before anyway, you really cannot say you “created” 300k jobs. idk tho just how i see it.

other highlights include “we should be allowed to sell you shittier quality products so you have to buy more of them”

gotta have a section on Small Businesses. everyone loves mom and pop stores and cool startups, best not think about how its precisely their smallness that makes it so easy for large (foreign and domestic) companies to buy them because they don’t have the overhead to withstand larger companies operating at a temporary loss to compete. precarious small businesses trying to not be pressured into bankruptcy are going to be an excellent sponge to soak up all those employees we dismiss from state-owned enterprises and force to move cross country to get jobs (it literally says labor migrants from other regions and cities in belarus will fulfill this demand for workers. why do they have to migrate ? i dont know)

ok now that we’ve fried the small fish here comes the big boys. “3. Take all possible measures to attract foreign investors, including transnational corporations (TNCs).” finally a chance for the proud and appropriately-valued youth of belarus to work in call centers and machine tool manufacturies owned by T-Mobile and Volkswagen.

here’s what they simply have to do to get those charitable transnational corporations to toss these cold slavs a penny: large-scale privatization, land market (ie. privatizing forests or areas with natural gas or mineral deposits), creation of legal guarantees for property rights, acceptance of EU-given standards for goods an services (shout out to the real ones who know the EU literally has regulation allowing the use of cheaper and more dangerous pesticides and perservatives on goods meant for export to the eastern part of the EU “in order to be able to sell at competitive prices in countries with lower relative value of the same currency we forced you to use”)

im gonna start skipping around more because there’s a lot of repetition, a lot of “once we fire all these people we can re-hire them, and that means we’ll create another 100k jobs” but this phrase specifically stands out and demands having attention called to it. detoxification of assets is business talk for when you steal something and then just say it wasnt stolen and everyone agrees that was very cool actually.

and here we have the experts who developed this proposal.

Lev Margolin - a Belarusian economist who regularly prostrates himself in public begging the IMF to impose privatization, even calling for public unrest in 2016 in order to force the international community to intervene and force those measures.

Yaroslav Romančuk - a libertarian politician, president of the Mises Center for Scientific Research thinktank. in an interview with Radio Free Europe - Georgia published Aug 15th, openly stated that there were interests in ukraine associated with the pro-EU euromaidan movement interested and willing to oversee transition to a free society. he also named Mikheil Saakashvili as someone who he would like to be a mediator between the opposition and president lukašenka. Saakashvili is the former president of Georgia, having come to power during the 2003 Rose Revolution (hi mr Soros), whose tenure is highlighted by a strong push towards NATO membership, increasing the military budget by a multiple of 30, and starting joint drills with the US Army. he also privatized georgia’s healthcare system, leaving a great deal of the population without healthcare as they were stranded between being able to afford private, but not being poor enough to qualify for the public option. a short five years after becoming president, allegations of corruption, money laundering, extortion, and abuse of power were made against him, in response to which he had early elections which he won amid widespread accusations of voter fraud. hmm. later he would be so popular he had to flee to ukraine in 2014 after euromaidan where he was appointed governor of odessa and given ukranian citizenship (yes, in that order). crazy how ukraine doesnt allow its citizens to be extradited or something. anyway yeah thats the guy the opposition wants to be the mediator between them and lukašenka

Stanislav Bogdankevič - former chairman of the Belarusian National Bank ousted on suspected embezzlement and money laundering charges and also an IMF beggar. hobbyist advisor to ukrainian politicians and belarusian politicians acting in ukraine.

Mikhail Čigir - former prime minister of belarus, seems to be household name soft opposition, has interviews with RFE Belarus but doesn’t seem openly linked to the IMF or calling for widespread privatization like the rest on this list.

if you’ve made it to the end or this is the last thing you see before scrolling by, i want to emphasize that i am in no way contesting the accusations of voter fraud. there is not a chance lukašenka got 80% of the vote as he claims, nor am i defending treatment of the protesters. the people in the streets are overwhelmingly participating an organic social movement against the government. however it is rarely the people in the street who get to make the decisions following this sort of toppling of a system of power, rather well funded and well organized groups with ties to foreign interests who have something to offer to the international community (political and financial) in exchange for approving and orchestrating regime change. it is worth talking about what their plans are, and how similar plans have affected people in neighboring countries that were in similar situations. what i wish for the people of belarus is the ability to pursue fulfilling personal lives that are not marred by choices like “can i afford to start a family ?”

#belarus #alyaksandr lukashenka #yaroslav romanchuk #sviatlana tsikhanouskaya #will prob edit and add tomorrow luckily im being paid big lukašenka rubles so i can say whatever as long as it ends with IMF kill yourself

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mermaidsirennikita · 4 years

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Hi! Could you explain wtf is happening in US? You have such an awful death rate from COVID, worse than anyone else. Is US health system really that inept and awful? I mean many people in Europe are shocked looking at US right now, and Europe was hit hard as well.

Look--no offense, but google is probably a better friend than I in this particular situation. What’s happening in the U.S. is the same thing that is happening or has happened in European nations that didn’t respond well to COVID (Italy, the UK) but it gets more publicized because it is the US, and we certainly will have to deal with it longer because it is the US. We have a lot more people than many countries, spread across a greater expanse of land, and it is broken up into smaller state governments.

Also, let’s not kid ourselves--there is no “was” to Europe being hit hard. Europe is still being hit hard. Europe will be hit during a second wave if countries like Greece welcome tourists. This virus will continue to hurt people until there is a vaccine.

Don’t get me wrong tho, this is a huge disaster for the US. I just don’t think that other countries acting like they aren’t royally fucking this up is going to help them down the road. It will just encourage more fucking up.............................. until there’s a vaccine that has been given to enough of the global population.

Our healthcare system ITSELF is actually not bad. We have great hospitals, great doctors, wonderful healthcare workers that are busting their asses. To suggest that they are inept is offensive and incorrect. Nor is the guy who everyone should be listening to, Dr. Fauci, bad at his job. He knows what he’s doing. Unfortunately, doctors work within a healthcare system that is too expensive for the people, but THAT IN ITSELF is also not the big issue here. People are going in and getting treated for COVID regardless of medical insurance. The treatment is not the issue.

The issue is that we have a bad president, and even if we had a good president there would only be so much that president could do because we actually have, when it comes to COVID response, 50 mini-countries. The federal government can affect things like our financial relief, how much PPE and how many tests are distributed to which states. However, when Trump makes statements about “reopening the American economy”, that is not.... something he can do. Each state’s governor is in charge of the state’s responses. Therefore, one state can have a quarantine for three months whereas their neighbor only quarantines for two weeks. There was never going to be an organized nationwide lockdown because Trump was president. But Obama could not have done that either (at least not easily) though I’m sure he probably would have wanted to.

The country also places a lot of emphasis on work culture. We are economically depressed as a nation. The rich people are fine, the middle class and poor people are struggling. If a middle class really exists anymore. People live paycheck to paycheck. They want to get back to work, so they pressure their state governments to lift quarantine early. The president pressures those governors to lift quarantine early. People break quarantine and it’s not really punished because we have this STRONG emphasis on personal freedoms here, the individual over the collective, and if people were being arrested for breaking quarantine--the governors do not want to deal with that.

In fact, I’ll tell you right now: my state’s governor is currently being sued because a church got in trouble for holding gatherings with more than 10 people. This is something that probably wouldn’t happen in Europe, for legal and cultural reasons. But it’s happening all over the US.

It has nothing to do with the response of doctors and healthcare workers, or even our tech. We actually have some pretty fucking advanced medical tech spread across this country. But because the president is a disaster and did not prepare, our economy tanked VERY quickly, people are panicking, half of our government is more concerned about the economy than the people, our nation runs on a fragmented system--it did not have to be a virus that caused this degree of an issue. Any other catastrophe that put a sudden stop to the typical work culture would have had a similar effect. It just happened to be a virus.

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overdrivels · 4 years

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@romancedeldiablo just reminded me the entire cybersecurity/information security industry is having the greatest field days ever since this whole Covid-19 triggered a mass work from home exodus.

I have so much to say about it and all the security issues that are occurring. This mostly pertains to the US. This isn’t meant to scare anyone, they’re just food for thought and a bit of explanation about my industry.

PSA: Not all hackers are bad, just a reminder. There are very legitimate reasons for hacking such as compliance and research. When I talk about hackers here, I’m talking about the bad ones who are exploiting without permission and for malicious reasons.

The main thing about this whole working from home thing is that most organizations don’t have the infrastructure to support their entire workforce. Not every company uses Google Drive or OneDrive or DropBox.

This means that companies with on-premise servers, isolated servers or networks are screwed. Imagine trying to connect to your friend’s computer who lives on the other side of the world and controlling their mouse. Can’t do it. Gotta download something on both ends to do it. Now imagine that for 500 people at home who are trying to connect to a single server. You’d need to open that server/network up to the internet. That has its own risks because without controlling WHO can access the server, you’re basically allowing anyone (hackers especially) to go in and take all your data.

But then you ask, “Isn’t that what passwords are for?” BITCH look at your own passwords. Do you really think 500 people will have passwords strong enough to withstand a rainbow table attack or that the server won’t shit itself when receiving 500 connections from unknown locations by means of a not-often used method? Hackers only need to exploit one password (for the most part) while the company needs to ensure ALL 500 are protected. That’s difficult as all hell and if it were that easy, I wouldn’t have a job.

Then there’s shit like Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) and RADIUS servers that’ll secure the network connection so it can’t be hijacked and do authentication respectively. Here’s the problem. VPN solutions need to be downloaded on the client system (your computer). When your organization has very technically illiterate people, that becomes a nightmare. ‘Cause you have to set up their accounts on the VPN system and set the permissions for each of them so they can only access what they’re allowed to access otherwise Bob from sales now has access to the HR system with everyone’s social security numbers. It’s very time consuming and can get very complicated. Even worse is that VPNs often require licenses. When you only have 50 licenses and suddenly 500 people want access, you’re screwed. But you can always purchase more licenses, no problem. Here’s the rub. Suddenly, this VPN tunnel needs to accept connections from 500 people. This tunnel is only strong enough to accept 50 concurrent sessions. When 10x that amount get on, guess what? The tunnel shits itself and basically the company has DoS’d itself. Now no one can get any work done until IT figures out how to get 500 people on a system that’s only capable of supporting 50.

Fuck, almost forgot about RADIUS. There’s DIAMETER, too, but shut up about it. It’s an authentication system but depending on how it’s set up, you’ll have to also set up the users. That’s an extra step and it’s a pain in the ass if RADIUS somehow isn’t connected to AD and the user has different passwords and shit.

Not to mention hackers suddenly gaining access to all this information because they’ve already infected people’s home computers and routers prior to the work from home stuff. There’s very limited way for IT to control what happens on a personal computer, so these personal computers can have no anti-virus or security software. This means all data is in danger because someone decided Windows Defender is annoying. (Windows Defender is pretty great, btw.)

Physical robberies are occurring a little more because there’s no one to protect the stores and such. Physical security is taking a hell of a beating.

There’s been an increase in phishing scams around COVID-19. Unemployment sites are probably being (and probably already have been) hacked and the data is being stolen. I think there were some people who were creating fake unemployment sites to steal PII. There are e-mails going out to people saying stuff like, “Your computer has been infected with the CORONAVIRUS. Click here to clean it up.” And you’re wondering, “What sort of morons…?” Don’t. It’s very easy to give in to your panic. Hackers don’t hack computers solely. They hack into human emotion, into the psyche. Anyone can fall for their shit.

The thing with Zoom? Basically they’re so insecure, people are hacking them without issue. How? Because people are silly and put out links, chat logs are saved onto insecure machines that have already been hacked, there are a bunch of exploits available for Zoom, etc.

Healthcare organizations. Oh boy. So, we all know healthcare organizations are working their damnedest to save people suffering from COVID-19. Every second counts and any delay in that process could mean life or death. They work hard. Here’s the thing. There has always been a delicate balance between security and usability. Too secure and it’ll make it difficult for the end user to do their job. Usable without security just makes it easier for an attacker to do their job. Why am I talking about this?

Healthcare organizations usually hold sensitive information. Health information. Social security numbers. Birth dates. Addresses. Insurance information. Family member information. So much stuff. They are a beautiful target for hackers because all that shit is right there and it’s accessible. Healthcare organizations, by and large, do not put a lot of emphasis on security. That’s changing a bit, but for the most part, the don’t care about security. They do the bare minimum because guess what? Every additional control can add time to a doctor or healthcare worker’s routine. Computer lockscreen every 5 minutes? Now the doctor has to re-logon every 5 minutes. This adds about 15 seconds to their rountine. Multiply that several times over for every patient that comes in assuming a doctor will need to log in at least 3 times during a single visit. That can clock in at at least an hour throughout the day. A hour that they could’ve spent doing something else. So imagine more controls. Password needs to be reset. Need to badge in. Log into this extra program to access this file. Call IT because this thing locked them out. Each one of these normal controls now feel insanely restrictive. The ease of use isn’t there and so organizations might look at reversing these security controls, potentially making things even less secure than before in the name of efficiency.

Don’t @ me about HIPAA. I will start rants about how non-prescriptive and ineffective it is to actually get proper security implemented.

LOL @ internet service providers. Internet speeds are dropping due to the amount of traffic they’re getting. Commercial internet really wasn’t prepared for this. Those poor bastards.

Some organizations outsource their IT teams. Those people (Managed Service Providers aka MSPs) are not prepared for this nonsense. It’s popular now to go after these guys for hacking. An MSP usually works for multiple organizations. So, why try going after 50 organizations individually when you have just one organization with poor security controls managing everything from one place? You’d logically go after the one rather than 50. It’s easier.

MSPs are now overworked because they also have to work from home to connect to systems that can’t support so many people connecting to it on personal computers that the MSP can’t log into like they normally would to fix any issues. This makes them tired. What happens when you’re tired? You make more mistakes. And that’s exactly what hackers go after. Once they’re in the MSP’s system, the hacker can now potentially gain access to the 50 clients’ systems. Easy win.

Shadow IT and alternate solutions. This is another doozy. Imagine all your files and shit are on your company’s network. No one is able to access it because there isn’t any VPN or remote sharing system or FTP server set up for this stuff, but you still need to do your job. So, what do you do? Obviously, you start making stuff on your own computer using whatever you’re comfortable with. Google Drive. Dropbox. Box. Slack. That shitty PDF reader you downloaded three years ago and didn’t update.

Now imagine sharing it through things like your personal e-mail which may or may not have been hacked without your knowledge. Or maybe the recipient’s been hacked without anyone’s knowledge. Maybe your files are normally encrypted if they’re on the company network. Now you’re off of it and nothing’s encrypted. Maybe you forget it delete a file or 80 off of your system which has been infected. Or maybe you pasted shit on pastebin or github and it’s available to the public because that’s just easier. Now anyone searching can find it. This is how database dumps are found sometimes and they’re really entertaining.

Shadow IT putting in alternate solutions without the company’s knowledge is always a fucking nightmare. I get that people need to do their jobs and want to do things a certain way, but can you not be selfish and put everyone at risk because you decided your way or the high way?

That sounds awfully familiar…it feels like a situation that we’re going through right now…hey, wait a minute…

Long story short, this whole working from home thing opens up a lot of security issues. Most companies are ill-equipped to handle IT issues, let alone cybersecurity/information security/IT security issues, but because of that, we’re seeing a lot of interesting things happening. Such as finding out New Jersey’s unemployment system runs on a 60+ year old programming language.

Holy shit I can talk about this all day. I’ve definitely glossed over a lot of stuff and oversimplified it. If anyone wants me to talk about any specific topic related to this or cybersecurity or information security in general, drop an ask. I’m always, always more than happy to talk about it.

#drivels drivels #BACK ON MY BULLSHIT #EXCEPT THIS IS REAL LIFE BULLSHIT

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