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schrijverr · 8 months

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I Found Myself a Cheerleader 15

Chapter 15 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, everyone’s life seems to be going in the wrong direction as Vecna rolls into town as they all seem to distance themselves from one another. Meanwhile, Robin has developed a crush on a certain cheerleader and it isn’t Steve.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: internalized homophobia, homophobia mention, f-slur, bullying mention, HIV/AIDS crisis mention, racism mention, eating disorder mention

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Chapter 15: The Arrival of Vecna

After new years, Steve feels like his life has been spiraling further and further out of control. Yet he cannot do anything, but stay. He can only watch and cling on as the roller coaster continues in a way that seems safe enough, but also like it can fall apart at any moment.

It’s just been a compilation of things, honestly. It feels like his fight with Eddie was a turning point and now, in a horrible domino effect, it is all getting worse from there.

Insecurity has been creeping up on him with the words of his father in that stupid clothing boutique and the fight with Eddie that came afterwards. Eddie, who is still ignoring him. Neither of them have said a word to the other since then.

He still feels conflicted about it. He hates what he did to Eddie and he wants to tell him how he didn’t mean it, but Eddie has taken to staying behind and sending the kids ahead, so he won’t have to see Steve’s face.

Steve has stopped getting out of the car. Just watches the school entrance in case he catches a flash of curly hair that he adores so much. His heart aches to make it right, to have dimples and chocolate eyes back in his life. Another part of him thinks it might be easier to be rejected, left in the dust. To be hurt, so he can get over it. To find love elsewhere.

Chrissy fake breaks up with him two weeks into the new year. Ever since then, he has been throwing himself at every girl that has come into Family Video in an attempt to cover up for all the emotions he’s feeling, but can’t put into words.

A few girls have actually taken him up on his offer and Steve has gone through with it, because he doesn’t think a straight boy in his position would refuse. It hasn’t been the most comfortable, but nothing he hasn’t done before and it’s just a task to get through.

Chrissy and Robin both have expressed concern about his behavior, but Steve will not listen to them.

The two have been hanging out quite a bit, since they’re stuck in school together and Steve is glad they’re getting along, but it’s annoying that they now team up together. It can be quite funny when they’re just ribbing each other, but more recently they’re being concerned together, which makes Steve want to walk into the forest never to be seen again. He doesn’t know why.

Right now is such a moment, where he can feel their eyes on his back as he leads a girl through the store, putting on his charm.

Steve is pretty sure she has a boyfriend, so hopefully this won’t end in another disastrous date. And for now he tries to feel validated by how she giggles and twirls her hair. No one will question him if he goes on like this. Next time, there will be more evidence needed than a few slurs, a picture in the year book, or the fact he isn’t married yet. Next time, he’ll be safer.

It’s for the best, so he ignores the stares of Chrissy and Robin as he flirts with the girl, whose name he does not know, pretending to be disappointed but understanding when she tells him about her boyfriend.

He rings her up, having to bump Robin out of the way, before watching her go with smile in place that he drops with a sigh once she’s out the door. Robin takes the moment to pipe up: “You don’t have to keep doing that, you know that, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he grits, playing dumb, because he isn’t in the mood for a lecture. He already feels uncomfortable enough in his own skin.

“We’re just worried, Stevie,” Chrissy says with those big eyes of her that Steve has always been a little weak for and she knows it.

Steve sends her a glare and scowls: “Nothing to worry about.”

“Dingus,” Robin huffs, a little annoyed by how he’s avoiding the topic. It hasn’t become a thing yet, Steve could never not show up when she needs him or vise versa, but he knows how much she hates that he’s shutting her out.

And he does feel guilty about it. Her remembers how she once confessed to him how everyone always seems to leave her behind. In the darkness of the night, Steve had promised he never would, but now he’s pushing her away.

The guilt eats at him and he doesn’t want to do a repeat of his behavior of when he fought with Eddie. He doesn’t want to fuck up like that again. So, he takes a deep breath and pleads: “I know, okay, I know. Please, just- just drop it, okay?”

It is the closest he has come to acknowledging it and Chrissy and Robin both share a look before looking back. Robin reacts first, she takes his hand and gives him a crooked smile: “Alright, dingus, okay.”

“We’re here if you want to talk,” Chrissy offers, also smiling.

Steve does not know what he did to deserve friends like this, but he feels incredibly fortunate. He smiles back and softly says: “Thanks.”

He wants to move on from the topic now, but he doesn’t know how. Luckily, Robin can practically read his mind, so she turns to Chrissy and says: “Hey, Chris, how is cheer going? Band is already practicing for the prep rally, you guys too?”

Chrissy lights up and excitedly starts talking about the new routine they’ve been working on. On another day, Steve would immediately get sucked into the topic, however, today he takes a second to recover before going to dive in.

Because he’s taking that moment, he suddenly notices how Robin is looking at Chrissy. Chrissy is smiling brightly as she talks about cheer and Robin is watching her, only following along, because she’s friends with two cheerleaders, thus has learned too much through osmosis, partially against her will. However, she doesn’t seem to mind, she’s smiling along, a little blush covering her freckles, as she stares at Chrissy.

Holy shit.

Robin has a crush on Chrissy. It just hits him as he watches her. He hasn’t heard her about Vickie for a while, but he hadn’t realized that was because she likes someone else. Because she likes Chrissy.

He isn’t subtle about his realization either. Well, he is, but not for Robin. He is still holding her hand and squeezes it in surprise when he notices, looking between the two.

She looks at him when he squeezes and sees him glancing between them. Her eyes grow wide and he can see in her eyes that if he even thinks about uttering about saying anything while Chrissy is still in a 1 mile radius of Family Video, she is going to murder him.

Steve knows the feeling, so he quickly nods to let her know he gets it, before jumping into cheer, so that Chrissy won’t notice the hiccup.

Of course he had noticed the two getting closer and retrospectively the first time Robin saw Chrissy was pretty gay with how she spluttered and was rendered quite speechless, but he never really thought about it like that. A part of him still can’t fully fathom that anyone would be attracted to either of them, even if they are objectively attractive.

However, he manages to keep being normal until Chrissy has to go home. She hugs Steve first and he squeezes her back, before he watches her hug Robin, who seemingly explodes. He hadn’t know she could blush like that and has to bite his lip not giggle at her.

Though Steve has to admit, Robin is not the worst, not like he’s seen her with other girls she has liked. She isn’t tripping over herself rambling, instead just does an awkward smile and doesn’t really hug back, as she splutters a goodbye.

They both wave as Chrissy leaves and Steve drops it the moment, she gets into the car and he turns to Robin. Robin, who is blushing and not meeting his eyes. A shit eating grin creeps up on his face and he leans against the counter next to Robin as he drawls: “So… Chrissy.”

“Oh shut up,” she squeaks, pushing him away without looking.

Steve pouts and comes right back into her space and whines: “Oh come on, you bullied me about Eddie, I told you everything. You can’t just leave me hanging like this.”

Now Robin looks at him and she doesn’t look like Robin at all. Steve stops and looks at her, frowning as he takes in how she is hunched over, bites her lip anxiously, plays with her fingers, loosing the liveliness he loves about her. Gently he asks: “Hey, you okay?”

“You’re not mad about my crush on Chrissy?” she asks in a small voice that he hates on her. He likes how she cackles and rambles, not this.

“Of course I’m not mad,” he tells her. “Why would I be mad that you like her? She is super nice and a cool girl. Was inevitable, honestly.”

“It was not,” Robin scoffs, before she asks: “Isn’t it, like, against bro code to like someone’s friend?”

“Robin, you are also Chrissy’s friend,” Steve points out.

She has the audacity to look surprised by that statement and to then ask: “I am?”

“Yeah, Robs, you are,” Steve says, unsure how she can’t know that. “You two are always hanging out together, you eat lunch together. She asks me how you’ve been when you have to work while we hang out, because I’ve seen you last.”

“Oh, I thought she only did that to me, because you’re friends and I’m just also always there,” Robin says, scratching the back of her head.

“Gods, I love you, but you’re also an idiot,” Steve informs her.

“Hey, I take offense to that,” Robin pouts, but she is also grinning, which is a win.

“You can be offended later, tell me about your crush now,” Steve demands. “You finally developed taste, I have to know more.”

“Screw you, dingus,” Robin exclaims as she pushes him.

Steve wrinkles his nose and replies: “I’d rather you not.”

“Iewww,” Robin shudders, but she’s laughing too. Both of them taking a moment to giggle, before Robin sighs wistfully and says: “She’s just so pretty.” Then Robin groans and boinks her head on the counter. “And painfully straight. I listened to her talk about Tom Cruise for like an hour yesterday. The worst thing? I didn’t even mind, because she looks cute when she’s excited.”

Steve graciously suppresses the urge to laugh at her and just pats her back in a sympathetic manner, because he knows how much that sucks. “You’re gonna be okay, Robs. It sucks to have a crush on a straight person.”

“How would you know?” she asks, coming up from where she has buried her head in her arms to glare at him. “Eddie has taken to parading around with a hanky in his pocket, like I won’t know what that means. You had a chance.”

Had a chance, Steve repeats to himself, feeling a little stab. He could have if he hadn’t been so scared and such a dick. But Robin is lamenting her own crush, so he’s not going to be sad about his love life, especially because that will be an invitation to talk to him about how he’s flirting with girls everywhere and Steve knows what Robin is doing. She hopes he’ll bite and won’t ask more about her new crush that she has been trying to hide.

So, instead he doesn’t bite and just says: “I’ve had crushes on other people, you know. And I didn’t have a chance with them.”

“Who?” Robin demands, now fully dropping the gloom, much to Steve’s relief, he hates seeing her sad.

“Jonathan,” he admits, wanting to jump into a ditch and hide the moment he does.

“What?” Robin exclaims with glee in her voice. “Why didn’t you tell me that, dingus. That is important to know. You had a crush on the guy that stole your girlfriend.”

“I mean, we fought and it kind of made me realize some things,” Steve shrugs in embarrassment.

“You had a crush on him because he beat you up?” Robin asks, eyes nearly falling out of her sockets as she interrogates him.

“No,” Steve scowls, crossing his arms. “And we were talking about your hopeless crush, remember?”

“We can do that later, I have to hear this,” Robin waves his protest aside. “If not because he beat you up, then why?”

“He just made me realize I didn’t want to keep being King Steve when he beat me up,” Steve explains. “And then when I went to apologize we had to run from the demogorgon and he grabbed my hand and pulled me to safety. And I realized I liked that a little more than I should.”

“Oh my god, that is the best thing I have ever heard,” Robin squeals.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Steve replies, hands over his ears.

“No, come on, this is great,” Robin grins. “I’m never going to let you forget that you had a crush on Jonathan because he held you hand.”

“Fuck off, I also held your hand, didn’t get a crush on you,” Steve pouts.

“Not really the right demographic, now am I?” Robin counters. “Unlike what you want to make everyone think. What happened there? Are you okay?”

“No, we’re not turning it around on me,” Steve snaps. “I meant it. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just talk about your crush and let me forget about it, okay? Please.”

Something in his voice must tell her how serious he is, because she nods seriously, despite obviously not wanting to and collapses back over the counter, lamenting about Chrissy in her cheer uniform and her soft cheeks and adorable giggle.

Despite having been friends with Chrissy for about a year now, Robin mentions things that Steve has never consciously registered about her. It’s odd but interesting to look at his friend through different eyes. Like, he never really noticed Chrissy had dimples, but when he thinks about it, she totally does.

It’s actually really cute how much Robin likes Chrissy, but Steve is also scared for her. He knows Chrissy is cool about the gay thing, though that might not translate to lesbians, since Robin hasn’t come out yet. However, that does not mean, she won’t break Robin’s heart.

Steve cares about both of them very much, but he will probably choose Robin, if this crush blows up in their faces. He might not have known Robin the longest, but they’ve been through so much together. You don’t just forget about that. And, despite how he is partially ignoring it, Robin is also queer, he will always support her and understand her struggles. Even if that means loosing Chrissy in the process.

Fuck, he just hopes Chrissy is at least cool about it, or that Robin’s crush blows over before something can happen.

Over the following weeks, it seems like life hates him more and more, as it continues to get worse and worse. It’s nothing big, but life seems to get lonelier.

Robin, of course, still fills his every moment when she can, but she still has school and finals are coming up as well. So, he sees her primarily when driving her to school, or at work, or when they’re both failing to fall asleep.

Mike has never liked him, so his lessening in appearance doesn’t come as a surprise. While Dustin still comes by, but less often than he used to, swept up into Hellfire club, robotics team and the never ending homework of high school. Meanwhile, Lucas has made varsity team, so he is also busy. Steve is so proud of him, but he just hopes that the basketball team doesn’t chew him up and spit him out while Steve can’t look out for him.

Lucas and Max have also broken up, so he doesn’t hang out with Lucas at the trailer park anymore either. He still has gone by to check on her, but she isn’t around or doesn’t open the door. Whenever he is there, he can feel Eddie’s trailer judging him from behind. So, he stopped.

However, he still trains with Lucas from time to time, teaching him things about basketball that he still remembers from when he was star player on the team. Like today, just the two of them shooting hoops on the Sinclair’s driveway.

It’s Wednesday and Chrissy canceled on Steve. She has been doing that more often and Steve doesn’t know what to do about it. Whenever they do hang out, she is still herself and Robin doesn’t note much out of the ordinary if the amount of times she waxes poetry about Chrissy’s smile is anything to go off.

For now, he tries to put it out of his mind and focus on Lucas. He yells: “Don’t dribble too hard, just above the knee. Stay in control.”

Lucas switches up his dribble slightly and Steve immediately has a harder time taking the ball from him. He can see in Lucas’ grin that he notices it too. They twirl around each other for a little longer, before Lucas can make a shot.

Both of them turn to watch as the ball arcs through the air, before bouncing on the rim once, twice, before falling next to it and rolling away with a slight bounce. Steve grimaces and forces a cheer in his voice as he says: “You’ll get it next time.”

He goes to get the ball, leaving Lucas a second the wallow in private, before turning back. In that time, Lucas has slumped on the steps of the house in a way that suggest that he isn’t getting up again. He seems done for the day, but the defeated pose doesn’t sit right with Steve.

So, he sits down next to Lucas and lets the quiet hang over them for a second. Then he asks: “You doing okay?”

The boy next to him sighs in a way that makes him seem way older than he should be. He shrugs, then pauses, before shaking his head. “Not really, no.”

“Wanna talk about it?�� Steve offers. He might not be the best at comforting, but he at least knows what Lucas has been through, what he has seen. Sometimes it’s enough to be understood.

“Max has been distant lately,” Lucas says. “She barely talks to us in the hallways of school and we never see her anywhere else. It’s like she’s a ghost sometimes. I don’t know what’s happening. She seemed fine a few weeks ago.”

Steve has noticed the same thing, but he doesn’t want to worry Lucas more when it’s obviously eating at him. So he takes a moment to think. Then he replies: “Max is a tough cookie. She just needs a little bit. Billy’s birthday is coming up, I’m sure that must mess with her a little. She’ll reach out again when she’s ready.”

“You really think so?” Lucas asks, finally looking up from where he’d hung his head. It’s a little like he’s perking up with the glimmer of hope.

In all honesty, Steve isn’t sure. He likes to think she will, but he could be wrong. However, he doesn’t want to rip away the hope he has given Lucas, so he just smiles: “Yeah, I do.”

Lucas smiles back and Steve feels a little guilty, but also glad to see him smile like that. Lucas has already been through much, much more than he should. He wants Lucas to be happy. He still remembers how terrified he looked as Billy had him pinned. It still appears in his nightmares, the what if he hadn’t been on time plaguing him.

So, he pushes away the guilt and moves the topic to something more fun. “You’re becoming really good at avoiding my blocks. A little more and I won’t stand a chance against you.”

“Thanks,” Lucas huffs with a small laugh. “Now if only coach saw that and I could be on the court next game instead of being a bench warmer.”

“Don’t be to hard on yourself, man,” Steve tells him. “You already made varsity in your freshman year, that’s huge. Most don’t make it until the second semester sophomore and then they’re still bench warmers, because coach wants to give the older players scouting chances. Trust me, next year you’re going to be star player.”

“You think so?” Lucas asks.

“Yeah, I do,” Steve says, this time not lying. Lucas is a talent. He adds as a joke: “I might not have been on the team in a while, but I still remember Jason’s try outs for varsity when I was star player in junior year. All his talk is a recent development.”

Lucas is smiling at the start of the sentence, but as he goes on, he sees something dim in how he holds himself. Steve doesn’t think he said anything to get that reaction and frowns: “Hey, where is your mind going off to?”

“The team,” Lucas says, sounding a little hesitant.

Steve still remembers what dicks the team used to be, both when he was on it and when he got bullied away. His heart stops beating as a fear seizes him. “Are they being assholes to you?” he asks immediately. “Because I still have the nail bat and I can have a talk with them.”

“No, no, not that,” Lucas quickly says, which is good to hear, but there is something in his tone that makes Steve suspicious.

“But…” he prompts when Lucas keeps his lips together as if he is keeping something in.

Lucas looks away and rubs the back of his head. He lets out a deep breath, hyping himself up, before looking back at Steve and admitting: “They’re just saying really messed up things about you.”

Oh.

“Oh,” Steve says out loud, he didn’t expect that. Well, he did. He had just hoped the shine would have worn off by the time the kids got Hawkins High, but apparently it’s still bad enough that it got to Lucas. Though Chrissy mentioned how Jason seemingly still has it out for him ever since she rejected him for Steve.

A flash of embarrassment goes through him as he imagines what the others on the basketball team might have said about him. He is well aware of what rumors those boys spread. About how he’s a fag, and a whore fag at that. That he’ll get on his knees for anyone willing to give him the time of day. That he was a filthy queer that stared in the locker rooms. That he was a pussy that hid behind a group of girls. How easily he goes down after a punch. How easily he takes it.

He has heard it all when he still walked those halls. He learned to ignore it and he learned to lie about it to the kids, because he didn’t want them to ever hear that about him. To have the image he held with them be tainted. But they had.

At least Lucas had, because if Max had heard Billy didn’t keep his promise, she would have been upset with Steve and come to him. And Dustin obviously wouldn’t have kept his mouth shut about it.

Fuck, Lucas knows those rumors.

Lucas has heard how Steve might be gay, something he has kept away from all the kids except Will, because Will needed to know it. And now he is still in that limbo, where he knows it about himself, but is working so hard to keep others from seeing.

What if Lucas is looking closer? What if he has guessed? What if all of them know? What if they’re all disgusted by it and that’s why they’ve gotten too busy to hang around Steve anymore?

He doesn’t know what Lucas sees in his face, but he looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up. Yet, he tries to comfort Steve with: “It’s not too bad.”

An involuntary laugh escapes Steve at the placating lie, the disbelief obvious. There is no way it’s not still terrible, but the fact that Lucas is trying to comfort him, eases his nerves a bit.

“Okay, so it is quite bad,” Lucas winces, wringing his hands. “Why didn’t you ever tell us what was happening at school?”

Steve scoffs, can’t help the reaction, and says: “Lucas, I would never drop my shit on a bunch of kids. You all had enough to deal with. I was doing fine anyway. It wasn’t that bad.”

“They’re calling you all sorts of slurs and saying that you’re going to die of AIDS, how is that okay, Steve?” Lucas exclaims, startling Steve with the volume of the outburst.

“Well, it’s not true, so it doesn’t matter,” Steve snaps back.

He doesn’t want to think about how he knows exactly what slurs Lucas is talking about, how they have always clung to him, adding weight to all that drags him down, because he knows they’re true, how he’s been scared shitless of AIDS ever since he last saw his father, even though he has been extra safe when he does fuck, and how those are girls, which make him uncomfortable, a thing he also doesn’t want to think about.

Lucas reels back again by how forcefully Steve says them and Steve internally cringes at how that probably doesn’t help his point, though he keeps a poker face despite it.

He studies Steve for a second and Steve practically holds his breath as he keeps it up, he hopes that Lucas will drop it. He doesn’t, instead, Lucas gets a little quieter. He looks at the ground, then glances back up at Steve and softly says: “But it still hurts, doesn’t it?”

The comment goes deeper than this conversation. It is a cry for recognition. A plea to be heard. To be seen in a pain. A pain that Lucas thinks they might share.

Steve might not be the smartest, but he’s also not an idiot. He knows why Billy went after Lucas but not Dustin for hanging around his sister, knows that fag isn’t the only slur the basketball team throws around, knows that Lucas will hear that too, even if they don’t target him directly and how that can still hurt.

And while he doesn’t want to say anything that might be suspicious, Lucas is one of his kids and he needs to not be alone right now, so he matches Lucas’ quiet tone and admits: “Yeah, it does hurt, a lot. And it fucking sucks.”

Lucas looks relieved by the admission, though an air of sadness still hangs around them. Neither of them can fully know what the other is going through, but for a moment they aren’t alone in their misery and sometimes that can be enough. Lucas huffs out a small laugh and agreed: “It does fucking suck.”

“Don’t tell your mom I used that word,” Steve jokingly threatens. He is glad he was able to help Lucas feel better, but he needs this conversation to be over now. To not have Lucas go poking further than this.

“I won’t,” Lucas laughs. “Besides, she’s heard worse from Dustin.”

“Dustin got some of that from me, I have to be honest there,” Steve comments with a grin, making Lucas laugh more.

Steve wants to move on to other things, however, something is still gnawing on him. He is not there to protect these kids and he cares so much about them, so he needs to be assured that Lucas will be okay on his own in the basketball team. “The others aren’t targeting you, right?”

“No,” Lucas assures him. “Patrick has taken me under his wing a bit, which is nice. He’s also black and good friends with Jason, so they mostly leave us be.” He’s quiet for a second, then adds: “It’s some of the other kids that get targeted. I never really do anything and I feel like I’m the worst because of it.”

“Don’t,” Steve immediately says and Lucas looks surprised, as if he expected Steve to say something different. After all the times Steve threw himself between them and danger that is pretty valid, but that is so much different than this. That isn’t a permanent slight in the eyes of the town, Steve knows how that feels. It is very much not the same.

“Don’t?” Lucas repeats with a confused frown.

“It’s not worth it, trust me,” Steve tells him. “The next time they rag on a poor kid, who also doesn’t deserve it or talk shit about me, you stay quiet, you hear me? You keep your mouth shut. Me and some random kid, aren’t worth being an outcast over. I know it sucks, but it’s how to survive high school. Promise me?”

“Okay, yeah, I promise,” Lucas says, unsettled by the intensity.

Steve isn’t under the illusion that he is the first to say this to Lucas. His parents must be worried sick about him as well, but Lucas might be more willing to listen to Steve than his uncool parents, especially since Steve has a hero status in Lucas’ mind. So, he says it anyway.

“Good, just keep your head down and stick to Patrick,” Steve nods. “Patrick cool?”

“Yeah,” Lucas says with a small smile. “He’s a little withdrawn, but he has this sick fade away long shot that he’s been teaching me.”

“Sounds great. Show me?” Steve asks, getting up and holding the ball out to Lucas. It’s a way to get out of their heads again, away from the heavy conversation, something Steve thinks they both need right now.

Fortunately, Lucas takes the ball with a grin, both of them getting back in position, so that Lucas can show off the shot. It’s a fun way to forget about all the bad and Steve sees himself in Lucas, how he used sports to get out of his head for a bit. That afternoon, he vows to go to all of his games, even if he’s on the bench every time.

Over the following weeks, Steve is there at all Lucas’ games as the team slowly climbs their way up through the championships. Steve has to admit they’re good, they might stand a chance at winning this year.

Meanwhile, life goes on in other places as well, in its own rickety way.

Chrissy cancels more and more, it’s been weeks since they stunted together, even if they finally got their handstand stunt. Steve misses it more than he wants to admits. Misses Chrissy even more, only glimpsing at her during Lucas’ games, her smiles looking fake and her cheer uniform loose.

Steve worries about her, but knows it isn’t his place to talk about her struggles with Robin. So, he just gives Robin a little too many snacks and hopes she knows how to share. However, Chrissy is no longer sitting with Robin during lunch, another worrying development that has other consequences as well.

“She totally knows!” Case in point. Robin is hanging over the counter, looking defeated. She has been the only person not falling apart around Steve and he needs her to be okay. He hates to see her sad like this. Especially when he can’t fix it.

“How would she know?” he counters, knowing it’s not enough, but having to try anyway.

Robin glares at him, before throwing her hands about: “I don’t know, dingus. Maybe I stared at her too long or said something embarrassing and weird, because I keep on humiliating myself around her and she caught on and now she hates me.”

“Chrissy doesn’t hate you,” Steve insists. He is 99% sure of that, despite the lack of contact between them now. There is something else going on with her, he just doesn’t know what and that bothers him to all hell.

“Did she tell you that?” Robin counters.

“You know she didn’t,” Steve glares at her, before taking a deep calming breath. They both have been on edge and the last thing he wants to do, is snap at her and have yet another friendship fall apart.

Robin is observing him and when he looks at her again, normally this time, she says: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to push.”

“It’s okay,” he sighs. “It’s not like you’re in control of her pulling away.”

“And what if I am? What if I’m right and she did notice my crush on her and now she’s disgusted and pulling away? What then?” Robin rambles anxiously.

“Then she’s a dick and we don’t want to be friends with her,” Steve states, because that is obvious in his brain. “But that’s not the reason, she’s too nice for that.”

“You sure?” Robin asks.

“I’m sure,” Steve confirms.

They’re both quiet for a second, then Robin speaks up, her voice an odd mix of disbelief, awe and skepticism, as she asks: “You would really drop her if she wasn’t okay with my crush?”

It’s an echo of when Steve figured her out, when she was unsure if Steve would be okay with it and it still amazes him that she doesn’t know that he would do anything for her. “Yeah, I would. Of course, I would. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” Robin shrugs, not meeting his eyes. “You two have been friends longer than we have. I wouldn't hold it against you.”

“Robs, 1) if she is homophobic, I don’t want to be friends with her and 2) you’re my platonic soulmate, I’m always going to put you first,” he says, putting as much intent and genuineness in his voice as he can in the hope she’ll believe him.

“Platonic soulmates, eh?” she grins, not fully acknowledging it, but tentatively daring to believe by not countering it or questioning him.

“With a capital P,” Steve grins back. “You’re stuck with me now, Buckley.”

“I’m holding you to that, Stevie,” she replies, knowing he doesn’t like his last name.

The next day are the championships. Steve is in Family Video alone, waiting until he can go clock out and get the girl he’s bringing for show. He’s a little self aware around the basketball team since his talk with Lucas, so it will be good to be seen with a girl on his arm.

He’s bored out of his mind, so glad when the phone rings. He picks up: “You’ve reached Family Video, this is Steve. How-”

“Yeah, Steve,” Dustin cuts of his standard greeting. “I need you to play DnD with me and the rest of Hellfire tonight.”

“What? Why?” Steve replies, unsure why they would be playing tonight.

“Because it’s the ending of the campaign and we need someone else,” Dustin says. “Eddie is on our ass to find someone, please.”

At the mention of Eddie’s name, a shiver goes through his body. He cannot face Eddie. Not like that. The need to hide away comes over him and he throws out: “No, I can’t, I have a date.”

“Just move your date this one time,” Dustin demands. “Come on.”

Usually Steve is a pushover and would easily bend to that demand, but he can’t. Lucas is playing tonight, it’s the championship. And it’s Eddie. Eddie, who hates him. Eddie, who makes him feel things. And he just can’t.

His brain goes to a patented method and a little meanly he says: “What? To hang out with you and Eddie “The Freak” Munson? Uh, yeah, I’ll pass.”

The moment he says it, he hates himself. He vowed not to do this anymore and now he is. Fuck, why is he like that?

Dustin doesn’t notice, luckily, and just says: “You’re just jealous because I have another older male friend.”

And a part of Steve is jealous. Jealous that Dustin gets to hang out with Eddie without feeling like he wants to explode, either from horniness, fear or embarrassing mushy feelings. Feelings that also make him want to hide away.

He knows he has them, that they won’t go away, but every time he thinks he can accept that, another voice speaks up and crushes it. It’s a constant battle and at this point, he isn’t even sure what team he’s on.

But he doesn’t tell Dustin that, instead he says: “Iew. Ugh. Whatever,” before making up some story about really digging this girl, whose name he has already forgotten, before pretending a customer comes in, so he can hang up on Dustin.

It’s not until, he’s getting ready to go for the game, that he is centered enough to realize that Dustin was looking for a replacement for Lucas. That Eddie isn’t postponing the session so Lucas can be there and make the championship.

If they were still friends, he would’ve said something about it to Eddie. Then he realizes that this might be Eddie outing his anger at Steve and all his jockiness that he showed Eddie when he stomped all over him. And he feels a little sicks with it.

Fuck, hopefully spring break will be what they all need to get off this roller coaster again. A little bit of a break away from it all will be good for them.

A/N:

Robin being surprised that Steve wants to be her friend, that she is also friends with Chrissy, that they want her around, it’s breaking my heart </3

Also Lucas deserves so much more and the Duffers keep doing him dirty, I’m so mad about that actually >:(

(Disclaimer: I am white and probably not the best to write about this, but it wanted to note the fact that Lucas is dealing with other shit too in there as well. Hopefully that came across okay and if I said anything offensive, please let me know)

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liver-ology · 6 months

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The Inevitably Divisive Nature of Billy Hargrove

I really understand where Billy antis are coming from. He’s terrible, objectively. But the one thing that’s not letting me dislike him is the scene when he’s flayed and he tells Karen Wheeler to stay away from him. There’s something genuine in him that knows he’s going to hurt someone and desperately doesn’t want to. So I see a path to redemption. A common argument against Billy is that if Dacre Montgomery wasn’t so attractive, people wouldn’t be looking so hard for a way to redeem him. This is undoubtedly true, but he played Billy with so much nuance that it’s impossible not to want to explore that. The character may have been racist and abusive, but he also breeds brainrot. How did he get that way? Why is he such a dick? Can he be saved? Should we want him to be? Every post I see about why people shouldn’t engage with Billy in fandom just digs him deeper into my mind, makes me ask more questions.

Pre-flaying, Billy is obviously racist and abusive and terrible. He has almost no redemptive qualities other than the fact that his abusive tendencies are clearly continuing a cycle perpetrated by Neil’s own abusive parenting, which isn’t much of a redemption. But putting characters in Situations reveals their inner nature, and a scared, caring guy comes out when he tries to resist the Mind Flayer. This leads me to believe that the hateful things he says and does aren’t really his beliefs but reflections of what he’s been taught. This thought is definitely influenced by Dacre being exceptionally hot in a wig, but the underlying point would still stand even if Billy looked like Gollum. But because he doesn’t, a problem I see a lot is the willingness to overlook everything bad Billy has done. People who believe Billy is redeemable tend not to even attempt to redeem him, choosing instead to make him an entirely different character that isn’t nearly as deeply entrenched in the fucked-up mindset that canon Billy inarguably is. I think this is where the issues arise for Billy antis, with the excusal of all the bad shit Billy’s done. I think this approach is lazy and boring, but finding fanworks of Billy where he actually sucks and goes through the long, difficult process of change and real redemption is damn near impossible. If you find one, drop the link.

The root of his divisiveness is within the conflict between the character as a whole and his script. In the script, Billy was originally supposed to say the n word, but Dacre Montgomery refused. The Duffers wrote him as a one-dimensional evil douchebag, but Dacre turned him into a real, nuanced character with more to him than Racist Abused Abuser That Gets Evil-ified. I think this is why he’s so divisive. Billy antis can’t look past the way he was written, and his supporters can’t let go of all his little nuances. Both sides have merit, and I think this is where it’s important to recognize that the Duffers do this all the time. Steve was originally supposed to be a Billy-esque character that was only there to be a douchebag plot device that died in the first season, and then Joe Keery played him so likeably and with so much more complexity than what was written that he stayed on for the whole run of the show. In subsequent seasons, Steve grew and changed and became a better person than he was in season 1. I think there was an avenue for this same thing to happen with Billy, had he been given the time. Some people don’t agree, and I see why. Either way, the takeaway from this is that everything wrong with anything ever is the fault of the Duffer Bros. Thank you for reading this egregiously long post, and have a lovely rest of your day.

#billy hargrove #fuck the duffers #is excusal a word??#steve harrington #stranger things #everything is the duffers fault

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frostfairysteve · 1 year

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I'm having a lot of fun with @thefreakandthehair's Spicy Six Fic Challenge, and while I'm not completely finished yet, I do have something. I'll post the complete thing to AO3 once I'm done.

My prompt is "All these lights, and not a single one is flickering. That's a nice change of pace, huh?" but it does not actually show up in this part. Also, I went for angst with a happy ending, so this part is all angst. Steve-centric, of course.

embraced by the darkness (waiting for the lights) (part 1)

The holiday season had snuck up on all of them. With the gates, and with Max, time had just passed differently. Trying to think back, Steve can only remember volunteering, shifts at Family Video, and making sure everyone around him was okay. He’s had a few calls with his mum, but his parents hadn’t wanted to return to Hawkins considering everything. Not that Steve has celebrated Christmas with them in years; they stopped bringing him with them once he aged out of being his mum’s cute angelic child, aged out of living up to his dad’s expectations. The last time he got close to celebrating Christmas with anyone was when he and Nancy were dating and he spent as much time as possible in her home, but even then he had spent Christmas Day alone.

Knowing that this year would be no different, Steve had been the first to offer to take Lucas’ place in the hospital; allowing him to take a break and celebrate with his family. It was better to be here with Max than be home alone, although there’s not a lot to do other than staring at the walls; white was never a colour he had an opinion on but after spending most of the year in and out of Max’s hospital room, Steve has grown to hate it. The kids' drawings help break up the monotony of the room, and it helps cheer him up to think about them. Even if the paper underneath their drawings remains white.

He has never felt right drawing anything to add to the collection. He loves Max like a little sister, and except for Lucas and El, he has spent the most hours by her bedside, but he’ll always be unsure of his place in other people’s lives.

He thought his parents would always love and care for him, but then they started leaving him alone, they started forgetting about him, and when he no longer had the illusion of a promising future to hide behind, his dad cut him off. The relationship he’s trying to repair with his mum is fragile at best.

And he had thought Nancy loved him but that turned out to be bullshit, and now he still doesn’t know how to be her friend. He doesn’t know how to be Jonathan’s friend either and hasn’t really tried, to be fair. Steve can’t truly look at them without remembering who he was in high school, feels like they’ll always see the asshole that let things happen. He used to be so passive about everything.

He still feels passive sometimes, surrounded by kids so much smarter than him. All he’s good for is being another body between them and the monsters; he knows he can make anything a weapon, knows he can kill a demo-whatever. The problem is when the monster is human and he has to hold back; when he has to be a shield and not a weapon. Some nights, he feels like he has Barb’s blood on his hands. Billy’s too, for what his death did to Max.

During the past months, he has woken up thinking it was Max's or Eddie’s blood. Thinking he could have saved them if he was smarter, faster, better.

He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he actually were responsible for another person’s death; if he tried to protect and instead caused irrecoverable harm.

With a shaky exhale, he leans back in the hospital chair. It’s not very comfortable, but none of them has ever complained. Trying to find a position that won’t kill his back gives him something to think about, something to focus on that won’t make him spiral. The last thing he needs is to have an anxiety attack next to Max; she would never let him live it down if she knew.

Maybe it would be worth it if it would finally force her awake, if seeing Steve being pathetic was the last push she needed to open her eyes.

He needs to redirect his thoughts somehow. Needs a distraction that won’t push him further towards a spiral. Music is out of the question; none of them has been able to listen to Kate Bush in the same way, and any song now carries the possibility of being life or death for someone. Or maybe Steve is the only one to think that; the others are still happy to fight over control of the radio when he drives them around, and he gets frequent updates on how Corroded Coffin is doing. At least music wasn’t taken from any of them.

There’s something dark about how he feels better when he’s the only one that suffers. Steve would carry all their pain on his shoulders if he only could. Would take all their nightmares and flashbacks and triggers so that they can smile and laugh and continue to be kids. He would take the pain from Robin, and Nancy and Jonathan, and Eddie too. From Joyce and Hopper and Murray and anyone else that has gotten involved.

Steve sometimes thinks he would shoulder the pain of the whole world if it allowed them to be done with the Upside Down. Thinks that it would be worth it if everyone stopped having to grow up so fast.

Thinking about growing up does remind him of the book he brought; the book he always brings. It’s not every time that he reads from it, but it feels like one of those days that need a fairytale to brighten things up. It will give him something to do at least.

The book of fairytales is old, something his mum used to read him to sleep with before his dad argued that he was too old for stories. She let him keep it, a secret between the two of them, a keepsake from when she was a mother and not a distant figure. It’s one of Steve’s few possessions that mean something to him; he can recite each story verbatim if asked, but he prefers having the comforting weight of the book resting in his lap, prefers reading the words from the worn pages.

He flips through the pages to the story of the little mermaid and begins to read, softly enough that only Max can hear him.

Steve wishes that he could find a sea witch now; he, too, would cut off all his hair for his sister to live. Would throw away the dagger too; would turn into seafoam for her. And if not seafoam, a spirit of air.

Maybe Max is a spirit of air, looking down at him now. But that would mean that they’ve lost her—

The heart monitor provides a comforting background noise as he continues to read, doing his best to not stumble over the words that he knows by heart. For now, Max is alive, for now, he can focus on reading for her, for now, he can hope that the fairytale reaches her, wherever she is.

He must have dozed off at some point for the next thing he knows a nurse is gently shaking him awake. There’s a paper cup of coffee getting pressed into his hands, although it’s probably much too late for caffeine. Max’s room doesn’t have a clock on their insistence and the dark comes early these days, but he thinks it should be the end of visiting hours if he’s getting woken up. Not that visiting hours always matter; especially the first few months had found them in and out of the hospital at all hours of the day.

“You should head on home, son. There’s snow coming.” the nurse tells him, voice just barely loud enough to be heard with his decreased hearing. Steve thinks he mumbles something coherent in response since they leave after making sure he won’t drop the cup.

The coffee is strong, but the bitter taste helps him come back to consciousness. Sleep comes rarely to him, but it always drags him down deep when it does. He has taken to keeping the nail bat by his bed; needs a weapon close at hand when waking up takes too long. Not like the weeks after something has just happened and any noise has him sitting up, ready for a fight.

If he’s getting less or more sleep now, Steve can’t tell. He gets enough that no one notices, enough for him to function, and that’s enough. It has to be.

Once he’s gotten the coffee down, Steve closes the book that thankfully hadn’t fallen to the floor while he slept, and puts it in his bag before pushing himself up from the chair. Nothing has changed with Max since he last looked at her; the rhythm of the heart monitor is the same. He takes a moment to make sure that she’s tucked in comfortably and that there’s no hair on her face, before saying goodbye with a kiss on her forehead— a last bit of warmth for the road.

Sitting in his car outside the hospital, Steve takes a moment to decide where to go. He has been told by Claudia more than once that he’s always welcome to spend time with her and Dustin, no matter the time of day, and Robin has promised to keep a chair free for him if he changed his mind about spending Christmas with her. Even Joyce had sent an invitation through Hopper, and Mrs Sinclair had promised him leftovers if he came by that evening.

Steve doesn’t feel right about intruding on any of them. The one time he tried taking up an invitation, he had sat outside in his car for twenty minutes, stuck in an anxiety spiral, before he drove home. It’s easier for everyone if he just skips the middle step, so there was really only one answer.

He gets home before the snow, but just barely. The first flakes are falling as he hurries from his car to the door, not dressed for the cold. His gloves and scarves have ended up with the others who needed them more; he can make do by zipping his jacket the whole way up and sticking his hands underneath his armpits. And he can surely find another pair of gloves and another scarf if he goes through his parents' things; they have left a lot of clothes behind, and they fit him better every year.

The house is warm in temperature only, and he’s once more thankful that his dad hasn’t thought to pause the bills. His parents' unreliable schedule is good for one thing only; never knowing when they will be home means that the house is always in working order. The downside, of course, is that Steve rarely feels comfortable inviting anyone over; not knowing if his parents will come home or if he’ll have enough time to clean up before they do… He always finds himself getting too worked up to truly relax.

He used to smoke, but then the Russians… it’s not the same kind of drug, but Steve can't stand not being in control of himself. Alcohol is out of the question for the same reason, and partly because he remembers when Nancy got drunk and has felt uncomfortable around intoxicated people ever since, always wondering if they’re going to blow up at him.

Steve wants to be of help, finds a purpose in being useful, in being able to love and be loved in return. To have all that thrown back at him, having it called bullshit… Nancy Wheeler has changed him in many ways, only a handful of them good.

When he shivers, it’s more due to his thoughts than the temperature. Still, he keeps his jacket on even after he has put away his bag and taken off his shoes. Exhaustion has come over him like a heavy blanket now that he’s home, and Steve wants nothing more than to go to bed. He does take a moment to look towards the kitchen, to try to remember when he last ate something, but he doesn’t think he would be able to keep anything down. The anxiety that he had felt in the hospital is worming its way through his veins now, and he wants to be in the safety of his bedroom before it overcomes him.

It doesn’t take long to get there, taking the stairs two steps at a time. He has long since learned how to find his way around the house in the dark, how to do so quietly, and fast. His room is the furthest to the left; turn left once up the stairs, and then to the left again. With his parents' room being the furthest to the right on the first floor, he doesn’t have to be all that quiet, but Steve has always been more anxious than anyone would think.

He would lock the door behind him, but there isn’t one. He can only hope that he remembered to lock the front door; not that a locked door can stop the monsters. Steve glances towards the wall at the thought and immediately glances away; he’s not bleeding; the gates aren’t completely closed even after all these months but they’re too small in size for anything to come through; he’s safe, and he has his bat.

He knows he’s safe, so why is he unable to breathe?

His jacket feels constricting and he cannot get it off soon enough. His throat aches and Steve moves to get out of his sweater as soon as the jacket has fallen to the floor. He needs to breathe, he needs to get everything off, he needs to, needs to, needs to—

Warm tears are making their way down his cheeks as Steve collapses to his knees. The nail bat is too far away, but he doesn’t know what he would use it for. It doesn’t stop him from crawling towards it, wanting the comfort of the wood in his hand. He has years of practice in how to hug it close without hurting himself on the nails.

If he could only breathe properly, he would be singing. There is one song that still brings him comfort, but only when his mind is playing tricks on him. It’s the song, the one that would save him from Vecna. But Steve is almost hyperventilating when he finally gets his hands on the bat; singing would only make things worse. He could force himself if he heard a clock, but much like the hospital room, all clocks are removed from the house.

Even after months of not seeing his parents, it took until he almost collapsed from a lack of sleep and anxiety before Steve removed them. He still doesn’t know how to explain if his parents come home.

Especially not their prized grandfather clock. It’s safely put away in their bedroom, the pendulum having been removed to stop the chiming. He didn’t dare put it in the garage; couldn’t pack it away in a box like he did all the other clocks.

Thinking about clocks - thinking about his parents - does nothing to help his breathing. Steve is fully hyperventilating, the bat hugged close like it’s a stuffed bear. The tears falling down his cheeks feel endless, and snot has started to run down his nose. His lips are salty when he licks them.

If he were a braver man, Steve would call someone. But everything inside him screams at the concept of willingly showing weakness, especially months after everything happened. He hasn’t had to reassure Robin or Dustin or Lucas over the phone since before the school year started.

He spent the anniversary of the mall burning - of the Russians - with Robin, but after that… everyone else just seemed okay.

Steve could barely get out of bed for all of November; couldn’t do anything at all for Thanksgiving.

The tears come harder at that; at the thought that he’s the only one still suffering. His scars give phantom pain as he curls his torso inwards; trying to make himself small while still hugging the bat close. His whole body shakes with his sobs now, they almost get stuck in his throat as he struggles to get any air.

Steve is back with the vines, is back with the bats, is back with the Russians and the demodogs and the demogorgon in Byers house.

And then the doorbell rings, and he’s in his bedroom, is half-naked on the floor with nails dangerously close to digging into his stomach.

The doorbell rings again and the sound echoing through the house shocks him so badly that he chokes on a sob, almost coughing his lungs out as he tries to get himself in control. Whoever is waiting at the door can’t see him like this; can’t see him as anything else but the fighter, the protector, the shield.

He’s tempted to hide in his room until they leave, but he would never; what if it’s the kids, what if something has happened, what if they need him— Steve’s mind is racing with scenarios - each worse than the one before - as he scrambles to get himself together. The bat gets dropped to the floor, and scratches his stomach in his haste, but he can’t feel it as he covers it up with the sweater. He knows he got the sweater on backwards, but that doesn’t matter if something is wrong.

Steve is trying to scrub his face of all traces of tears as he jogs down the stairs, the doorbell ringing a third and then a fourth time in the background. He knows he doesn’t succeed, knows that his eyes must be puffy and red, knows that there’s snot on his sleeves now, and that his hair is in disarray from where he must have been pulling on it in a useless attempt to ground himself. He knows that he must look like a mess and that he has no explanation that he’s willing to give, but hopefully whoever’s at the door has more important things to worry about than him. Most things are more important than him.

His hands are shaking as he tries to get the front door open; he unlocks it and then locks it again, not able to remember which direction is which as his thoughts fly in hundred directions at once. He’s out of breath when he finally gets it open - from the panic attack that he can still feel, from trying to get presentable and down the stairs as fast as possible - but he plasters a shaky smile on his lips in hope of covering it up.

The smile gets slightly more real but no less shaky when the door has opened enough to reveal Gareth and Eddie, the latter looking ready to press the doorbell a fifth time.

#steve harrington #my fiction library #lexswinterficchallenge #this didn't have a title until just now which. i never do that. i'm a title first kind of person #please tell me if you cried

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ghostlynimbus00 · 2 years

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for the prompt list, harringrove 'you're just a little hurt that's all' please?

Ah thank you! I hope you enjoy. <3

The prompt list.

CW’s: Minor Injury & Blood, Knives, Panic Attacks

Steve Harrington is no stranger to getting hurt. Billy knows this. He’s seen Harrington brush off the occasional bruise and scrape from basketball like they’re nothing. When they fought, that night at the Byers’, the fire in Harrington’s eyes didn’t even flicker even as the tide turned and Billy started to win.

Harrington wore the bruises and cuts that Billy left him with that night with a careless grace that made it seem like he was proud of them.

Which is why Billy is wholly unprepared for how terrified Harrington looks, sitting in the moonlight on the roof of his BMW by the quarry, looking down at his hand and the still bleeding cut he gave himself while fucking around with his pocket knife.

They came out here to drink, and smoke, and just get away from it all for a bit. They do that a lot, these days.

Billy’s been coming out here since he moved to this shithole, and Steve started showing up sometime in November.

Billy tried to make Steve go away, at first, he thought he wanted the other teen to go find his own spot to park and sit and feel sorry for himself.

But you know, as it turns out, it’s nice actually.

Not being alone.

It helps that Harrington doesn’t do a whole lot of talking during these times. Neither of them do, and Billy thinks they both need that.

One little spot in their lives where they can both just not have to be the people they’re supposed to be and also not have to be alone while they do that.

Harrington’s breathing quickly now, and even though he’s right there not even 20 feet from where Billy’s leaning up against the camaro his eyes look like they are far away.

Harrington’s other hand, still holding the pocket knife he obviously shouldn’t have been playing with in the first place, is shaking.

Billy makes a decision.

And crosses the invisible line in the sand between their two cars that they’ve maintained all these nights.

He pries the knife out of Steve’s hand as soon as he steps into Harrington’s orbit. He might be stupid enough to be here, trying to help, but he’s not that stupid.

Steve tries to fight him for it, a little, and maybe just reflexively, but he’s so out of it that it's easy for Billy to win that fight.

He flicks the knife closed and pockets it. Not sure if he plans to give it back or not.

Then he turns his attention back to Harrington.

Harrington’s not looking at his hand any more, instead those terrified brown eyes are searching the woods behind them like he’s expecting a monster to come out and eat him.

Billy grabs his other hand, much gentler with Steve’s injured hand then he had been with the one holding the knife. He looks over the cut, it stretches across Harrington’s whole palm but it’s not that deep.

He looks back up at Harrington’s face. Steve isn’t looking back at him, eyes still wearily trained on the treeline, still breathing too fast.

“Harrington.” Billy says, and he hates that his voice comes out as gentle as it does, feels too exposed by it. “Harrington look at me. You’re fine. It’s just a little cut.”

Harrington doesn’t respond. Billy isn't even sure he heard him.

Billy takes a breath, makes another decision.

He reaches out for Harrington's face, gently turns it towards him.

Harrington goes easily enough but he still tries to look past Billy, tries to keep his eyes on the woods.

“Harrington, man. You gotta try and slow your breathing down.” Billy tries again, his thumb brushing gently against Steve’s cheek. “You're just a little hurt that's all. It’s going to be okay.”

Harrington still doesn't respond, but something Billy’s doing seems to be helping at least, because he’s not breathing as fast now and his eyes aren’t quite as frantic even as they continue searching the woods.

So Billy keeps trying. He keeps one hand on Steve’s cheek and one cradling Steve’s injured hand. And he keeps talking.

About whatever, nothing. Just trying to reassure Harrington. Hoping that when this is over that Steve doesn’t think too much about the words he lets slip.

He’s not sure how long he stands there, between Steve’s legs holding him and reassuring him before Steve finally seems to come back to himself and the present moment.

Billy’s expecting to be pushed away. Maybe even punched.

Boys don’t hold other boys like that, not if they know what’s good for them.

Steve doesn’t punch him. He doesn’t push him away.

Instead Steve wraps his arms around Billy’s shoulders and holds him close. A hug that’s too desperate and too long to be normal, to be acceptable. Billy feels like he’s melting.

They don’t talk about it that night, not any of it.

But when Billy drives the empty predawn streets back to the shitty little house on Old Cherry he feels lighter than he has in a long time.

Because he’s known for a while that Steve Harrington is dealing with some shit, even if he still doesn't know what shit exactly. But this time Steve let him help.

And that fills Billy with what suspiciously feels like hope.

#harringrove #ask #anon #request #ask meme #steve harrington #billy hargrove #stranger things #minor injury cw #blood cw #knife cw #panic attack cw #fic #ficlet

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gonegrove · 2 years

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Jodi Pierce: same year as nancy + jonathan. was friends with benefits with billy until he got his shit together and got with [preferred partner for billy here]. they’re still friends bc she’s literally is only one lol. very style forward. socially mobile and well liked without really belonging anywhere. new wave, funk and proto-indie. likes the muppets, puppets and animatronics and makes puppets of her own for comedy shit. dates robin. finds out she and eddie are half siblings bc her mom had an affair w/ his dad pre-3 bc her mom has a crisis about them being in the same grade now. it’s a mess but they’re working on it.

Shannon Harrington: roughly nancy’s age. steve’s younger sister. she’s also very popular and extremely funny. she’s on the volleyball and cheerleading teams. she’s a loud pain in the ass and deeply weird when you actually know her. she’s Peak annoying younger sister. still considers steve probably her best friend bc he’s the only one who actually knows her and still likes her. she is a tinkerbell who will die without attention and her entire outward personality is geared to ensuring attention. also has like no filter, no shame and says wild shit so often. pop music fiend.

Rhiannon Hargrove: nancy’s age. billy’s younger biological sister. named after the fleetwood mac song and hates it. is one of those memes of someone who looks sweet and nice that has the subtitle of something like “i’m about to fucking lose it”. she and billy pretty co-dependent and rhia’s life is heavily controlled by neil and billy tho for different reasons. trying to make this new family shit work but people are Testing Her. can be just as shitty as billy but is usually better at reigning her anger in for the most part (or really she just lets it stew until she Snaps lol rip). a little pop-y and little boho. she and chrissy would get on except that rhia would snap jason’s spine over her fucking knee in 0.0005 secs of meeting him so lol. takes after their mother a lot in looks and personality, not sure how she feels about that since she’s not a fan of her as much as billy still is. still tries to fight back against neil when he gets physical about 50% of the time, usually when he’s going after billy.

Richard Brandon Mayfield: goes by his middle name brandon bc he hates richard. is about 14-15 when they move to hawkins. he’s the epitome of the DW “this sign can’t stop me because i can’t read!” meme. he’s a dipshit and he means business. literally all the other siblings are smarter than him but he doesn’t give a shit and it’s not a thing for him. he’s gay and he’s so aggressively average about it. like he just is what he is and like ???? that’s it???? doesn’t think their dad is as cool as max does. deadass tries to go toe to toe with neil every. single. time. you cannot TELL this child otherwise. he is a fratboy and an idiot and he could be 100000% shifaced and never get your pronouns wrong even tho he doesn’t get SHIT about what ur talking about. he’s gonna go to trade school after hs for carpentry. he and will get together at some point lol.

#stranger things ocs #jodi pierce #shannon harrington #rhiannon hargrove #brandon mayfield #ocs #the king will say on their OWN FUCKING POST and i'll make nice solo posts for these guys eventually #this is just what i already had so people can Comprehend the Lore #the ancient texts

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scoopstrooptm · 1 year

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dustin + the importance of his dynamics with steve & eddie

this one has been a long time coming and rolling around in my brain for a while but I really want to talk about the importance of both Steve and Eddie in Dustin’s life and how, even though from a writing perspective they both function in a same way as older male role model / brother figures and the Duffers did kind of repeat a similar storyline and not really handle it in the best way, there are actually a lot of subtle differences in how Dustin views them / grows from their influence in his life. they are both equally important to his development ( and future development ) in different ways.

the most important preface to discussing Steve and Eddie as brotherly figures ( because I do kinda hate the whole “co-parenting” “they’re both Dustin’s dads” trend within the fandom when it’s not for fun/the memes, they are only 5-6 years older than Dustin and as he gets older, that age gap will become much less noticeable ), is that Dustin is absent a father figure. unlike Will, however, who it is established early on has Jonathan, Dustin is deliberately set up in s2 to be living with only his mom, which then helps facilitate the fledgling brotherly relationship that goes on to develop between him and Steve. the writers often talk about them both being the spares within that season who are paired off with each other: Steve needed something to do after Nancy goes off with Jonathan to investigate the lab, and Dustin needed someone ( preferably older ) to help him with Dart and then lead the junkyard squad with Max and Lucas. they also very clearly don’t want to be around each other at the very beginning: Dustin only asks for Steve’s help because he’s the first person he can find to help him out with Dart, and it’s clear that Steve would rather be trying to fix things with Nancy, right up until he realises that Dart is actually an Upside Down monster and Dustin genuinely needs his help.

the two of them are worlds apart in terms of personality and character. Steve is the most popular guy at school ( in spite of his star beginning to wane in favour of Billy ), plays sports, has ( up until this point ) been successful with the ladies, is not naturally book smart and has never had to try very hard in order to get what he wants. Dustin is a self-proclaimed nerd, is not naturally athletic, is extremely intelligent but lacks a lot of common sense, and doesn’t have really have any friends outside of the Party. the two also have very little in common, but they do get to bond over girls as they lure Dart to the junkyard — however the turning point in their relationship imo doesn’t happen until Dustin, Steve, Lucas and Max are attacked by the demodogs.

this is, for me, the most pivotal moment in how Dustin’s attitude towards Steve shifts. he even says to Lucas before the dogs attack, “nobody is around. why else would I be with Steve Harrington?” but the moment that Steve decides to leave the bus and act as bait for the demodogs with his nailed bat, Dustin’s indifference to Steve’s completely changes, to the point where, as Max says “he’s insane” for going out there alone, Dustin’s only response is: “he’s awesome.”

it’s no secret that Dustin uses D&D and fantasy tropes to contextualise the Upside Down — he does this both in a narrative sense in order to flag to the audience exactly what kind of monsters the group are facing ( he is the one who gave the Mind Flayer and Vecna their names ), but also I believe he does this as a coping strategy too considering the danger that he has been around for three years of his young life. in that moment, then, that Steve headed out of the bus and fought three demodogs with just his baseball bat with nails, he quite literally was the white knight who leapt out of the pages of one of his storybooks. he was the fighter / paladin class from D&D that their group of heroes needed, protecting the party at great personal risk to himself, and this is where Dustin’s hero worship of Steve began.

it’s not clear to Steve that Dustin idolises him, but it’s very clear to everyone else lmao. I think, particularly at this point, Steve is the sort of person that Dustin aspires to be like, in the same way that he might look at a character like Han Solo or Aragorn and aspire to be like them. he fills the void of an older male role model that Dustin needed; he might be different to him in terms of enjoying sports and not understanding the nerdy references, but the fact that the gap between s2 and s3 establishes that the pair were close enough to learn a Star Wars-themed secret handshake shows that Steve was open-minded enough to at least try to engage with the nerdy stuff. it’s also heavily implied that Dustin was Steve’s only close friend during that time.

however, that also means that I don’t think Dustin ever looked at Steve as someone who was necessarily fallible: he knows that the dude is uncultured, book dumb sometimes, kinda bitchy and a bit of a stick in the mud when it comes to shooting down dangerous ideas, but Steve is still the hero who will always pull through in the end. even when Steve is beaten up by Billy, Dustin is the most visibly concerned out of the kids ( and is the one who convinces the others to bring Steve along in Billy’s car and not leave him in his concussed state back at the Byers house ), but Steve is still able to recover enough to lead the group into the tunnels and assume that caretaker role. he has never failed to protect Dustin when he needs him, and he is always there: in s3 when Dustin is left with his Cerebro by the Party, it’s Steve that he goes to in order to vent and then share the contents of his secret Russian transmission. in s4, as soon as Max comes to him about Eddie, Dustin seeks out Steve at Family Video.

the dynamic definitely does Dustin a lot of good: as Gaten himself says, Steve helps Dustin with his confidence, and he also helps Dustin to be brave. this isn’t to say that Dustin isn’t brave in s1 because he is, but in the first season a lot of his bravery comes from being around Mike and Lucas and El. on his own, I don’t think Dustin would ever consider himself a brave individual, but then Steve came along and threw himself repeatedly into danger with only minor complaining, the very picture of the errant hero, and that made Dustin want to be brave like that too. the contrast between s2, when Dustin let Steve head down into the storm shelter to deal with Dart on his own, and s3′s “if you die, i die” isn’t just a reflection of how much Dustin and Steve’s friendship has developed in that time. it is also an indication of how, through knowing Steve, Dustin has become more courageous and willing to dive headfirst into danger as a result. in s3, he takes the lead in his and Erica’s rescue attempt of Steve and Robin which, while kinda unrealistic if we’re being picky about it lmao, is an extremely big deal for Dustin. Erica is younger than him and he’s not with Mike, Will or Lucas ( or any of the other older teens or adults ), but he goes back for Steve and Robin anyway, without hesitation.

but on the flip side, this dynamic does create an unrealistic ideal for Dustin to live up to ( which is no fault of Steve’s or his own ), and this is perfectly illustrated by the snow ball scene at the end of s2. in that scene, Dustin takes on not only Steve’s confidence, but also his appearance in the way that he also uses the Farrah Fawcett spray to style his hair. however, unlike Steve, who I’m sure has never had to try very hard with girls until it came to Nancy, Dustin comes up against immediate rejection from his female peers and ends up completely alone, crying on the sidelines at not having a dance partner of his own. it’s interesting that it’s Nancy who actually rescues him, considering Steve’s influence on Dustin’s self-expression is at its strongest in this scene, but I digress: this highlights the limitations of Dustin’s hero worship and wanting to be like Steve. Dustin is not Steve: their experiences, particularly of a social setting like school, are completely different, and the Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington King of Hawkins High rules for socialising are not rules that necessarily apply easily to Dustin, being a nerd and not athletic or interested in “popular” pursuits at school.

I imagine this is a difference between them that would have reared its head again in those first few weeks after Dustin first started high school, between s3 and 4. we hear him talk to Max about the fact that nobody was nice to him or Mike ( except Eddie, who I will get to in a minute ), and I can picture a similar thing happening: Steve offering him plenty of well-meaning advice in the run up to semester starting, Dustin taking a lot of it on board, but none of it really working out that well when he actually gets there. Dustin is not destined to be a jock or the most popular guy at school like Steve was, and that is a good thing! being a jock and being popular wasn’t really that good for Steve either. Eddie’s advice and influence is actually good for both of them.

the way that Dustin’s dynamic with Steve ( subtly ) shifts between s2 and s4 is also interesting. from s2 to s3, the pair become very obvious best friends who share secret handshakes and a single brain cell ( there is no season that they are closer than in s3 tbh ), but in s4 that close camaraderie becomes, in some respects, a little more mean-spirited jibing, especially from Dustin’s end. there is tension established early on between them as a result of Dustin’s new friendship with Eddie and Steve’s jealousy over having his position as his older male role model stolen away from him because Dustin and Eddie actually share a lot of common interests. but also, Dustin is growing up and has reached high school and his teenage years where he is starting to develop his own sense of self. Steve, also, finally has a friend his own age in Robin, so their need to be constantly in each other’s company has naturally lessened as a result. as the primary and at this point constant older male figure in Dustin’s life, there is an element of not quite rebellion in this instance, but push and pull to be expected. he’s growing! Steve has been in Dustin’s life for two years now and Dustin is finally reaching that tumultuous period of his adolescent development where he is deciding who he wants to be.

but most important is the influence of Eddie’s friendship. it doesn’t pull Dustin away from Steve, as Steve might think, but again as Gaten says in the earlier video I linked, Eddie teaches Dustin to be comfortable and confident in his own skin. where Steve was in many ways unconsciously teaching Dustin to wear a different skin, Eddie’s entire being is telling Dustin that it’s okay to be the way he is. it’s okay to not fit in, it’s okay to break the mould and be different and to own those differences. Dustin can also more easily see himself in Eddie: they are both social outcasts, both enjoy nerdy pursuits like LOTR and D&D, and have both endured judgement and mean comments from their peers. they share a commonality that Dustin would never be able to share with Steve, no matter how close the two of them are.

the other difference with Eddie is that he shows Dustin very early on that he is fallible. he doesn’t jump into the action as readily as Steve does, he struggles with his perceived cowardice and he is either horrifically injured or dies at the end of the narrative depending on your perspective. it is important for Dustin to see that and know that he doesn’t have to be perfect — because it is not that Steve is perfect by comparison, but only that Dustin is not witness to Steve’s struggles and doubts and regrets about his past behaviours in the same way. in s3, his slow realisation towards “it’s all just bullshit anyways” is all stuff that he only shares with Robin ( and then later in s4 with Nancy during his speech about being given a thump on the head and enabled to change ). Dustin might tease Steve mercilessly for his faults, but he’s never really witnessed Steve have a crisis of confidence in the same way that he watches Eddie struggle with his label of the freak and his belief that he’s not as brave as the others, or not brave for leaving Chrissy and running away. Eddie is therefore just a little more human in Dustin’s eyes.

one thing that s5 is at least going to take on from s4 is the fact that, seeing the destruction and death and injury that the Upside Down has wrought first hand will change Dustin forever. even if it is horrible trauma for a 14 year old, it is still important that Dustin sees this alternative to the hero narrative that he has in his head regarding Steve — and will also, i hope, or at least i will address it even if the Duffers don’t, allow for Dustin and Steve’s friendship to strengthen even further as a result. what happened to Eddie should be a wake up call for Dustin in more ways than one and that’s the frustrating thing about s4′s ending. with the sudden timeskip, Eddie’s [redacted] isn’t allowed to have a ripple effect on the other characters ( even though we know through word of god that it will have an impact on Dustin in s5 ), and if there is one dynamic that it should impact, it’s Dustin and Steve’s.

#&. headcanon ( dustin henderson. )#&. meta ( dustin henderson. )#i'm not kidding when i say this has been rattling around my head for months lmao #and this doesn't really talk about steve and eddie individually #but more how they both are influencing dustin's development at this crucial point in his life #steve has done a lot and eddie has done a lot too (and should have been allowed to do more)#&. dyn. dustin & steve / harringtontm #&. dyn. dustin & eddie / munsontm

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gaysagainststeve · 2 years

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you don’t have to post this because i know how any post not demonizing billy gets someone a lot of hate.

ok i’m 2 weeks late but the unending billy hate just.. hurts my soul because it’s never a nuanced conversation. people refuse to admit that even though he’s done and said messed up things, he’s still a victim of abuse. i do blame the duffers for that because all they care about is demonizing him. dacre montgomery tried so hard to focus on billy’s abuse and insecurities and how that resulted in his shitty actions and adopted views from his father. he’s so real. not every abuse victim is overly kind and “docile.” he’s an angry person. victims of abuse can be angry and violent because that’s all they’ve been shown, but that doesn’t mean they “maybe deserve to die.” maybe the deserve a chance to change with proper care. ugh the way stranger things has handled billy’s abuse is so damaging to abuse victims. neil faces no consequences. max’s mother makes no mention of it despite witnessing it. a random basketball player’s abuse can be focused on but not billy’s? the way people say billy is worse than brenner & peter creel! it’s absolutely ridiculous. there’s also this misogynistic, hetnormative way in which antis will say that the only people who like billy are woman who think he’s hot. and don’t get me started on that hate dacre receives for trying to humanize his character and how he’s been ostracized by the duffer brothers. i could talk about this forever lol. anyways, he and steve are in love but the duffers saw that they were too powerful bye.

Dude i also have a whole manifesto about billy. I feel you so hard. Also im not afraid of antis saying anything to me bc i always want to be talking about this even on my streamer side blog lol

What i have to add is my opinion on the fact that ppl call him racist and abusive.

Billy does in season 2 say something implicitly racist saying max shouldn’t hang out with ppl like lucas. But the duffers are cowards that refuse to touch on any racism in the 80s. Im p sure its by the request of caleb who plays lucas, but theyve had characters say the f slur, had episodes about misogyny and yet they refuse to acknowledge the racism lucas may have faced even in passing. Im not saying lucas should be hate crimed but i feel like it would explain why he really wanted to be accepted by the basketball team and obsessed with being popular in season 4.

The duffers never follow up on the racist comment billy made and its not talked about at all in season 3. it is not a reoccurring or central trait to billy. Billys racism is as relevant as the byers dog to the duffers. They forget everything they write.

Also, the way he treats Max is a direct product of his abuse from his father. Anything she does wrong, billy gets punished for. Its a common abuse tactic idk why ppl think billy treats her bad just bc he’s evil. Also like… does anyone call intense fighting between siblings abuse in any other context??

The ppl who say hes the evilest person on the show are hard core projecting their own highschool bully onto him. I saw ppl saying jason was not as bad as billy and jason actually shot at lucas with the intent to kill him when billy pushed him up against a wall aggressively (i think the cast and creators even said this). Jason is the personification of rich white christian heterosexual America and the violence that comes from their ignorance. Billy is literally a poor metal head that gets called gay slurs by his father. Jason has the power of the entire town behind him hunting down the party; billy is just some angry punk with no outlet that finds his little sister in a creepy house with a bunch of boys and a high school senior in the middle of the night.

I for sure get not liking billy but idk how it became so extreme and mainstream. It used to be just infighting in the fandom but now its all over tiktok and hating him is The Opinion to have.

I think it might be because the show is so black and white about whether or not a character is good or evil and people can’t handle that billy has any complexity at all.

Also is it a crime for a man to be attractive? Ppl will crucify you if you don’t have a moral reason for liking a character istg. Maybe he’s the only character on that show that has any depth AND has a fat ass??? Ever think of that??

Thanks for sending this ask!!

#dont even get me started to how little they do with steves character #oh is he the groups mom again??#will he talk about literally any of the other men his age on the show #i swear if he asks argyle how he’s doing #next season #argyle will be executed on the spot in front of everyone #tag #ask #anonymous #also how there is literally no storyline surrounding billy in season 2 gets wrapped up by the time he dies #and how season 4 takes place in between will and billys birthday and the duffers didnt even know that #ughh this show #i study it under a microscope everyday and it keeps me coming back for more

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beespeaks · 3 years

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Just in case...

Stu Macher X Reader

Stu gets nervous before his party and decides to come see you in case anything goes wrong...

Aged up characters in college/uni

Tags: Swearing, mentions of murder, character death, basic Scream plot with added character and it’s in college though that’s not mentioned, Making out, angst

Warnings: mentions of murder/violence, major character death

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You were laying in bed, book in hand, trying to process the day. Casey Becker and Steve Orth had been murdered the night before, and if you were being honest, that scared you. From what everyone had said at school and what you had heard on the news, it had been a pretty violent death too. You didn’t understand who could ever do something like that and why? What could have possibly possessed someone to do that? It wasn’t right.

You tried to push the thoughts away and focus on the book in your hands but you couldn’t shake the fear swirling in your belly. You were home alone and that just made it worse. You usually craved the nights your parents would go away and leave you alone, but tonight you wished there was someone else here with you.

Stu was having a party tonight, and he pointedly didn’t invite you which just made you feel worse. In fact, he went out of his way to uninvite you and tell you not to come. You weren’t sure why he didn’t want you there or what you had done to upset him, but you pretended you didn’t care, laughing it off like it was no big deal. You hated parties anyway.

A tapping on your bedroom window pulls you away from your thoughts and the neglected book in your hands. There was silence for a second as panic mounted in your gut and then you saw another flash against the window. Someone was throwing something at your window. The only person who ever did that was Stu. You hoped.

Shakily, you padded across the floor to the window and peaked out into the night. It was hard to make out anything much but when you saw another flash against the glass, you knew it was Stu. This flash was green. He was throwing Skittles again. When you had asked him why, he said they were more fun than pebbles.

You sigh and slide the cool glass up the frame and peer out just as a red Skittle goes flying past your head into your bedroom.

“Fuck!” Stu curses. “Sorry!” He stands on the pavement outside, a sheepish look on his face. He’s hunched in on himself, almost like he’s cold.

“Can I come in?” He calls, his voice sounds strange and yet it still comforts you just like it always has. You shut the window and run down to let him in, trudging back up the stairs before he even gets in the door and refusing to look at him. Just because you hadn’t planned on going to that party, doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck that he didn’t want you there.

Your bedroom is cold when you return and it feels smaller with Stu leaning against the doorframe behind you.

“Y/N.” Stu starts and you turn around to look at him. He looks conflicted and small somehow, even considering his tall frame. Something is definitely bothering him and you want to ask what it is. You don’t though, something tells you that you don’t want to know.

“Why wasn't I invited to your party?” You ask instead, you decide you can ask him about it tomorrow. Stu looks surprised by your question, it probably hadn’t occurred to him that it would bother you. Part of you thinks that’s sweet.

“You don't want to come. Trust me.” Something dark laces his words but you brush it off, choosing instead to let his words irritate you. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him.

“How do you know? I might have wanted to.” Stu smiles slightly but his eyes still won’t meet yours, he keeps them trained on his shoes.

“It sucks. You would hate it.” He murmurs and you scoff.

“So, that’s why you’re here then, your party sucked so you thought you’d come and annoy me. How did you know I wouldn't have plans? I could have gone out tonight despite the curfew.” You almost yell. Stu is one of your best friends and there is defiantly something more there, but he always treated you like a second choice. A backup plan. He was always off with Tatum - his actual girlfriend, or Billy Loomis. The only times he ever had time for you was when no one else was around. You were sick of being a secret.

Stu sighs at your outburst and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m glad you were home.” He whispers. It’s quiet, you almost miss it but it changes something. All the anger and hurt you had been holding onto vanishes and you finally take a proper look at the blonde boy in front of you.

The usual loud, goofy idiot is quiet and he looks like he might break any second. He’s standing as close to the doorframe as he can, like he needs to it to hold himself up. His eyes are on anything but you and even from here you can see his breathing is uneven.

“Stu? What’s wrong?” Taking steps towards him, you reach your hand out and touch his shoulder. He flinches slightly before leaning into your touch. “Stu, look at me.” You keep your voice low and soft, like you're talking to a frightened animal. Shaking his head a few times he turns his head slowly to you. His blue eyes are scared and sad and something else that breaks your heart. Now that he’s finally looking at you, his resolve starts to crumble. You were always the one thing that could break down his defenses. You were the one person he never had to pretend with. You were his safe place.

“I’m scared, Y/N.” His voice breaks and then he’s crying, almost hysterically. Deep, laboured breathes and attempts to stop. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a hug as fast as you can, wanting to make him feel even a little better as soon as you can.

His arms wrap around you instantly, his face buried in your neck as he sobs. He’s shaking and digging his nails into your back but you don’t care. You have no idea what it is that could have him this upset. Stu has always been sensitive and he’ll cry at any sad movie the two of you watch, but even you’ve never seen him like this.

“It’s okay, Stu. It’s okay.” You whisper as you press a kiss to his temple. He doesn’t tell you, but this is all he needed. All he ever needed.

He does whisper something into the crook of your neck though. You don’t catch what it is until he pulls himself away from you to look into your eyes. He swears your eyes are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. His own eyes are still red and filled with tears.

“I love you.” He whispers and you gasp softly. If he had told you this any when else, you would have called bullshit and told him there were easier ways for him to get laid than fucking with your emotions. But the look in his eyes and the way he holds onto you like a lifeline, you can’t believe it’s a lie. You also can’t lie to him.

“I love you, too.”

His lips are on you before the words are even fully out of your mouth. A passionate, heated kiss filled with unspoken words and over a year of holding yourselves back. Your hands grip in his hair and his knead at your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. You cling to each other like you don’t need anything in the world as much as you need this, like he’s the oxygen you’ve been craving, like you’re the rain after the longest drought.

The two of you move backwards and fall down onto the bed, never letting go of each other. He’s on top of you now and his lips are traveling to your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses and whispers of ‘I love you’ over and over again. You whisper it back every time. Even if you don’t know why he’s falling apart, you know that’s what he needs to hear to keep him together.

Just as his lips are back on yours, softer and slower now but still as passionate as before, you hear a ringing. Stu pulls back and curses as he pulls a cellular telephone from his back pocket. He looks defeated and scared again.

He doesn't answer the phone, just switches it off and slips it in his back pocket with a sigh. You don’t know why, but you know he’s about to leave. Maybe it was Tatum. She is his girlfriend after all. The reminder pangs in your chest.

Stu’s blue eyes meet yours and you can’t find it in you to ask about Tatum or push him away like you should when he kisses you again. Softly and sadly. A kiss full of ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ and something that feels like goodbye.

He pulls back to rest his forehead against yours and just breathe in your familiar, comforting scent for a moment longer.

“I love you.” He whispers before getting up and leaving the room. He doesn’t look back.

When the phone rings in the middle of the night and your friend Randy recalls the events of Stu’s party, you collapse onto the floor as everything clicks into place in ways you really wish it wouldn’t. It felt like goodbye, because it was.

Stu Macher was dead and you were always going to think about the fact that you saw him last. You could have stopped him, if you had just asked him one more time if he was okay. Just one more time and he might have told you what was happening. One more time and he might still be here.

At least now you knew why you weren’t invited to his party.

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grey-sides · 2 years

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I am back with the second day of chrisbitchtree's prompt list: Rainstorm. I guess it's kinda set in the same universe as yesterday's drabble? Anyway, more fluff and Billy introspection because it literally never stops.

It doesn’t rain in the Upside Down, even if the air is heavy with moisture. And even if it did, Billy is pretty sure the water would flow upwards from the ground or something. It also doesn’t rain much in California and Billy remembers learning about the states in elementary school and thinking that California should be called The Sunshine State instead of Florida. But it does rain in Indiana.

When they arrived a year ago, the rain didn’t mean much to Billy. It meant having to be extra careful to roll up his windows when he parked. It meant paying attention to the weather so he doesn’t end up in soaked denim. It meant frizz and extra curls and dark, quiet mornings. But it wasn’t significant.

Except now, Billy is a little more in awe of the world around him. Even if he still kind of hates Hawkins, even if he doesn’t always recognize himself in the mirror and he’s forever changed. He finds the Earth itself kind of miraculous. He knows it doesn’t rain in the Upside Down because he spent a month there, learning to hide instead of fight. Learning to freeze and wishing for warmth. And eventually stumbling through a truly disgusting hole in the wall, landing on his back in the middle school. Damp, covered in goo, too thin, but somehow, miraculously alive.

It’s been a month since then and the weather in Hawkins is getting colder. Not that Billy much notices because he spends a lot of time inside the Harringtons’ big, quiet house. With Mr. Harrington going on endless business trips and Mrs. Harrington follows him all over because she doesn’t trust him but she’s too scared to let him go. And Billy learns to slow down in the house. While Steve works at the video store and lets the kids come over to use his big dining room table for their games of Dungeons and Dragons, Billy sits and listens. He listens to the insects at night and the wind whistling through windows that Steve never closes all the way. Sometimes he plugs his ears and listens to his pulse, steady and familiar. And today, he listens for the thunder.

It’s October and most days are cold, they start out cold and they only warm up enough to justify a jacket instead of a coat. But today is heavy. The air is humid, muggy, with a slight chill and Billy knows it’s going to storm. His hands ache with the change in pressure, and he has to leave the kitchen light on even though he’s sitting by the windows that look out into the backyard. Steve should be home soon, he’s probably on his way with his dumb vest still on because he thinks it’s kind of cool. Billy’s supposed to be doing some calculus work, so he can turn it in on Monday, during his only full day of school. But he can’t focus because his ears are straining for the first clap of thunder.

When it comes, he jumps and flexes his fingers, tugging the long sleeves of his sweater down over his hands. He watches as the first drops of rain hit the concrete by the pool, smacking into the ground and soaking it thoroughly. Billy drops his pencil and stands up, his chair scraping across the floor when he does. He looks down at his sweater which actually belongs to Steve and considers taking it off. But it doesn’t matter, he has twenty just like it in his closet and his mom will probably take him shopping when they come home again in a week. No one asks Steve about Billy, probably because that would mean confronting how little they know their son. So he’s just there, an extension of Steve and Billy finds he doesn’t mind.

So he leaves the sweater on but does decide to slip into some sneakers. The rain is really coming down now, lightning cracking across the sky and thunder booming. Billy waits a moment before he slides the back door open and steps out. He’s almost immediately soaked, but he doesn’t care because this is cleansing rain. The mulch in the flower beds is going to run into the yard and the end of the driveway is going to flood. And Billy is going to stand out here, getting water in his eyes until he feels cleansed too.

It’s how Steve finds him, ten minutes later. His hair is a mess, probably from the rain and the bottoms of his jeans are soaked when he stands in the doorway and shouts at Billy.

“You’re going to catch pneumonia!” he cries, yelling to be heard over the torrential downpour.

“I’ll take a shower to warm up after!” Billy calls, spitting water onto the ground. He turns his face up to the heavens, arms outstretched and he thinks he might be crying but he can’t really tell.

He knows Steve must hesitate and consider grabbing an umbrella before he joins him. Steve lets out a laugh at the rain when he does, shoulders hunching up around his ears. He did take off the vest, probably because he doesn’t want to wash it before his shift tomorrow. But he joins Billy out in the rain. His hair slicks to his cheeks and he laughs again, shivering as the temperature rapidly drops. They kiss, in the pouring rain and it’s stupidly romantic.

“Come on, you’re crazy,” Steve says when they break apart, pulling at Billy’s hands.

Billy lets him, follows him inside, and kicks his wet shoes off at the door. They strip as they go, leaving wet puddles of clothing on the floor up to Steve’s bathroom. The shower is warm and exactly what they need after the downpour even if Steve is still nervous about getting electrocuted in the spray of water.

When they finally manage to drag themselves out and down the stairs to the kitchen, Steve makes fettuccine alfredo and they eat it on the couch in the living room with the TV on. It’s turned down low so Billy can still listen to the rain. And even though they’ll have to clean sticks out of the yard tomorrow morning and they might have to sweep water out of the garage, Billy doesn’t care. Couldn’t. Because this rainstorm, the first big one since he came back, is cleansing. Cleansing like the ocean, like the first shower after he got back, like Steve’s hands on his face, clammy and nervous the first time they kissed.

#harringrove #chrisbitchtree #greye writes #drabble #stranger things #steve harrington #billy hargrove

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solarsleepless · 3 years

Note

what r max's stims? :)

SHSHJSHJSJSJSHJSH

okAY yes i have many thoughts abt adhd max i am vibrating rn

okay so first of all theres the average well known "flappy hands"

but she really likes it when she has sweaters with longer sleeves because then she can just flap them around

leg bounce leg bounce leg bounce

cracking her knuckles. she does this SO often its unreal

she doesnt have many vocal stims but she goes "ba ba ba" or just humming and singing sometimes

also running her hand on the bottom of her skateboard, and/or rolling the wheels

just being on her skateboard and swaying is a huge stim

chewing her shirt lmao

im also gonna say that she also stims by pressing on buttons and other stuff in the arcade. its just Nice To Do

also stims by kicking off of the ground on her skateboard. very nice

well this is gonna turn into adhd max rant get ready

she had adhd combined (like yours truly) and finds it hard to concentrate in class

she totally hyperfixated on video games at some point

and comics probably

and skateboarding too

she is a VERY picky eater. like she could barely eat stuff in california, so when she moves to hawkins it only gets worse

sensory issues my abhorreeed

can't stand too-loud noises (b!lly of course knows this and turns up music in his car so that he can't even hear himself)

that being said she cant STAND the silence and always needs background noise (she and el bond over liking white noise from tv)

SHE LOVES TANGLERS SO MUCH

goes nonverbal sometimes because of the fear that if she says anything itll just make things worse. the party + steve is very concerned at first, then learn to live with it

WHISTLE STIM WHISTLE STIM WHISTLE

she has so many weighted blankets. she couldnt actually use them much because it was too hot in cali but then in hawkins she used them all the time

SPINNY CHAIR SPINNY CHAIR

undiagnosed

loves fluffy jumpers. she never really used or felt them earlier because of the hotness of california but when she was cold and lucas lent her his fluffy jumper...

well let's just say he didn't get it back

rubbing her hand over lucas's knuckles :)

i know i've already said singing stim but just imagine her singing 'material girl' or 'old time rock and roll'

echolalia! only sometimes tho

like erica will go "hey max me and lukie are gonna make a cake wanna help?" "cake?" "cake" "cake!" "cake!" "cake"

also the sinclair family is so accepting. they're confused but they just accept max and thats okay

once the party started looking up what adhd was, max brought it up once and immediately they all went 'that's only for little boys'

(which is bullshit obvs)

remember that sleepover scene where max is dancing? yeah that but its a stim

the party + the teens have a running joke of max being moth because she stares at lights so much. visual stim

she scratches as a(n unhealthy) stim but it gets worse after billy's death

hates it when people shout, usually goes nonverbal if it's directed at her

jumps when she's happy!!

you know how she just wears basic and unlayered clothes? yeah she chooses them on purpose because tight stuff feels Bad

she hates labels with her entire being

she seems like the kind of gal to bite her nails

also adopted dustin's "grrr" as a stim

"hey max- grrr" "...what was that?" "...grrr" "could you teach me how to do that" ".. o k a y ?"

will and max (i hc will as autistic) both have lil stimming sessions! they just notice the other stimming and join in, just leaving them laughing at the end!

lucas is super understanding of her stims

he learnt to recognize when she's understimulated and gives her fidget toys!! and if he doesnt have any then he'll just straight up grab her hand and start rubbing his fingers against the knuckles

i'd like to say:

*SLAPS ROOF OF MAX MAYFIELD* THIS BITCH CAN HOLD SO MUCH RSD

she wasnt doing so good in the first place

thinking stuff like

"maybe if i wasnt born then my parents wouldn't have divorced"

and stuff like that

(billy intentionally makes it worse because of course he does)

but then it gets so. much. worse.

you know mike said "because you're annoying" in s2?

YOU CAN BET THAT TRIGGERED HER RSD SO HARD

and also when el just walked past her in s2? yeah well

that didn't go off well with her rsd either

lucas has to reassure her that she's not a mistake, she's not annoying, he doesn't secretly hate her, etc etc

he doesnt think he'll ever forgive mike for triggering her rsd so badly

this has so many hurt/comfort possibilities in fic holy fuck-

lucas immediately shuts down her deprecating comments

like IMMEDIATELY

he wont stand for that shit

he is glaring so badly at anyone who triggers max's rsd

unless it's someone they love (like erica) who doesn't actually know what they did wrong and want to make up for it

once erica activated her rsd by accident

just with a lil lighthearted comment

"ugh i hope you arent as annoying as lukey's little friends on the walkie talkie"

once erica finds out abt what she did she feels SO bad. babey

she does everything she can to make up for it

apologizes properly when they're both brushing the barbie's hair

she finds out max stims by brushing barbie's hair when max has to look after once

so when she can see max is understimulated she'll just toss a barbie and a hairbrush her way

also likes max's echolalia (can you hear that? its the sound of max's euphoria boosting)

erica learns to lower her voice around max

max can't watch anything without subtitles btw

she just cannot

she'll watch it and cause she's smart she'll figure out what's going on

but often has to turn to lucas and go "whats going on???"

she loves the feeling of snow thru her gloves

maybe its the cold but still. very Nice

uhh i have more but i cant be bothered also this is too long already

#max mayfield #adhd headcanons #stimming #stranger things headcanons #max mayfield headcanons #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #sinclair family my beloveds #max is bi and has adhd change my mind :)#max mayfield my beloved #itstiger720 #lumax the beloveds

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vibraniumwing · 3 years

Text

true love

a sam wilson x fem!reader soulmate au wherein you can hear the thoughts of your soulmate at random points of the day.

WARNING: slight au (?), agent!assassin!y/n, occasional swearing, y/n and sam bickering during missions and typical canon-violence (kind of mellowed down), y/n and sam being frenemies (well more on them being childish while bickering), and sexual innuendos/jokes. (18+ please. MINORS DNI.) also not beta-read so all mistakes are mine !!

A/N: listened to pink’s true love as i plotted this so feels are in order. this soulmate au has you listening to the thoughts of your soulmate at random points of the day until a mutual connection of attraction has been made, which makes you freely converse with your soulmate through your thoughts. ALSO SAM IN A TURTLENECK AKDJFDSJF AWOOGA

word count: 2.7k

---

You initially had thought that you had no soulmate since you hadn’t heard from them; not even once. Until one night, while you were doing your skincare routine, you heard your soulmate’s rather explicit thoughts about another person.

Safe to say it left you hot and bothered until you went to bed (and now aware about how you should be more careful about spacing out while thinking of something rated.), rather hurt as well at the fact that they were thinking of another person’s body other than yours.

Sam on the other hand, has heard from his partner as he would like to call it a few times. The first time being rather entertaining and concerning as he heard them curse out a random person, wishing hellfire on their whole existence as this person “annoyed the living will out of them.” which made him chuckle as he soared through the sky during one of his missions.

---

You were flying back to the Avenger’s Compound after another mission, seeing everyone’s silent and probably as exhausted as you from another fight. You were seated in the back, slowly drifting off to sleep when your soulmate’s thoughts suddenly infiltrated your mind, “Man, she looks cute as well when she’s sleepy. She’s equally as sexy when she’s angry… Her lips are so fucking kissable, wonder how well that works in the be-”

“NO!” you suddenly jolted awake, making everyone in the Quinjet look at you with concern. Steve was the first one to speak, glancing back at you with concern. “Are you okay over there, Y/N?”

You groaned, feeling a headache forming from being bolted awake. “I-I’m fine. It’s just my soulmate. That son of a bitch is so horny.” You muttered, putting your hands over your eyes as you sighed in frustration. “They’re gawking over another person and I get to hear about it.” You continued, making a few of the heroes you’re with snicker at your demise.

“Sounds like fun if you ask me.” Sam was the first to speak up, looking at you with a shit-eating grin. “You’ll have the upper hand knowing their kinks.” He mused, relaxing in his chair as he wiggled his eyebrows, probably enjoying the way you were suffering.

You smiled at him sarcastically, scrunching your nose in the process before rolling your eyes at him and flipping him off. “Woah! Steve, she did a bad language sign!” Sam called out, making the others laugh even more and the Captain groan at the reminder of his old antics.

“Shut it, Wilson. Not everyone likes to hear their soulmates intrusive thoughts.” You countered, raising up your other hand to flip him off again, not caring if you would be called out by Steve who was sighing again. “I swear once I meet this person, I’m kicking them where the sun don’t shine for being so fucking horny all the time.”

---

Sam had just finished his daily laps around the compound, headphones plugged in as he listened to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean as walked back inside of the compound, head bobbing to the beat; doing a little dance as well since he was in a rather good mood. “What’s good Metal Man” he greeted Bucky, giving the soldier a quick nod which the other looked at him with bewilderment.

He wandered into the kitchen, not paying attention to your figure that was seated by one of the island stools, busy scrolling away on your phone. Sam grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a big swig of the cool liquid, parched as ever from the heat when he heard his soulmate speak out all of a sudden.

“Why the fuck does this say The Falcon doesn’t look handsome? He’s a fucking sex god if I’ve ever seen one.” Those words were enough to make him choke on his drink, dropping the bottle on the floor as he coughed out the water from the wrong pipe. This made you jolt in your seat and look at him in concern. “What’s wrong with you?”

He shook it off, tapping his chest to sooth the subtle burn from what happened moments ago. He still managed to smirk at you, cocking up an eyebrow. “Concerned about me, are you baby?” before straightening up. “I just got started from what my soulmate said.”

You pride yourself in having the patience of a saint when it comes to people but something about Sam Wilson and his ego just irks you to the core. His words made you scoff in disgust, making a face at him as you hopped off from the stool and grabbed the donut you were eating, “I would rather have Bucky’s cold metal arm wrapped around my neck than be concerned about you.” You retorted, mumbling something incoherent as you passed by the said super soldier who looked confused once more.

“What the hell did I do?” He asked, looking at Sam for answers but was left with no answers as he left to go find a mop to clean up the spilled drink on the floor.

---

You wanted to curse the person who thought it was a bright idea to pair you up with Sam for a mission. You didn’t know if the person had a personal vendetta against you or just found entertainment in the constant fights that you had with the male but you weren’t having any of it.

The two of you were tasked to retrieve an artifact which contained a lot of sensitive information that was stolen by a former S.H.I.E.L.D employee-turned-felon and planned to release it to the world which can cause more harm than good for everyone; with the exception of criminals who target the population.

You and Sam were undercover, sitting in the corner of the busy cafe located in Soho where intel located the former agent who was meeting with someone who’s a stepping stone in releasing the files. Shifting in your seat as your eyes watched him, you took a drink of your iced latte, feeling uneasy under your companion’s stare. “What the fuck is your problem, Wilson?”

He shrugged, leaning into his own chair, “If you keep on staring you’ll blow our cover.” His tone was careful despite saying so loud, glancing at the direction of where you were looking at, seeing the agent on the phone before looking back at you. “Redwing is ready if he ever runs away, L/N.”

This made you roll your eyes, “I hate that damn machine.” You muttered, sinking into your seat as you sipped on your coffee even more.

Your stakeout was going rather well until the guy you were watching stood up, making you and Sam follow, pursuing him in the busy streets of New York. The person must’ve sensed someone following him since he started to make a run for it. “Fuck.” You muttered quietly, also starting to run, getting a headstart from Sam who commanded Redwing to follow the guy.

He slid into an alleyway and you followed him, only to be met with a gun pointed to your head. “Move and I won’t hesitate to blow your brains.” He threatened, finger on the trigger. It would be a lie to say that this didn’t bring back your memories of harsh training with actual guns pointed at your head; it caused your heartbeat to move at a much more erratic pace.

You tried to look for Sam through your peripheral view but to now avail, that is until someone suddenly shouted, “Redwing! NOW!” which caught the ex-agent off guard as he turned around, giving you the opportunity to tackle him to the ground. “Better luck next time.” You chided, holding him in place as Sam re-emerged from the other side of the alley, looking rather impressed.

“Not too shabby, Y/N.” He says, a smirk resting on his lips as he got the agent from you, pushing him against the wall to keep in place firmly. You bowed playfully, brushing your hands against your pants as you mirrored the smirk on his lips. “Couldn’t say the same for you though.” You humored, readjusting your shirt as you watched Sam turn in the then man.

He scoffed at your statement, feigning offense. “Excuse me, but without Redwing over here, you would have your brains out on the street.” He answered, motioning to the gadget flying above your head doing small little wiggles.

You rolled your eyes, starting to walk away from him. “You know you needed him, Y/N!” He hollered out, making you shake your head and laugh softly to yourself. You brought up your right hand to show him your middle finger once again, looking back at him with a small smile. “You wish, Wilson!”

“If you weren’t such an asshole Sam, I would’ve kissed you right now. But knowing your ego, it’s best to leave you hanging.”

That sentence alone left him shocked in his place, realizing who his soulmate was.

---

The rest of the day was quiet for you, which was quite the shocker; you hadn’t heard from Sam, not even a single “what’s up, short stuff.” If anything, you had come up to the idea that he was avoiding you like the plague. Despite the peace and quiet it provided, you missed your banters with him dar too much.

You were inside the gym, focusing your energy on throwing punches on the punching bag as your mind was shrouded with the thought of Sam suddenly avoiding you. Had you been too harsh on him? Did you actually offend him this time? You shook it off, Sam and you had literally gone through hell and back, talked so much trash about each other but never got angry; not even once. So what was his deal?

Sam suddenly re-emerged from behind you, clad in a tight-fitting shirt and some shorts, probably on his way to work out. He was still silent, which annoyed you even more, he didn’t even spare you a glance as he made a beeline for the weights. This made you roll your eyes, punching the gym equipment a bit harder out of aggression.

“If you keep that up, you might break the punching bag again.” He finally spoke up, looking at you with a blank expression as he yielded the dumbbell, flexing his arms. Your eyes travelled down to his muscles that were defined through his shirt before looking back up to meet his gaze, huffing lightly before turning away. If he wanted to be silent with you, then so be it.

“Oh c’mon now. Don’t ignore me, you literally just checked me out!” Sam pressed on, his tone now filled with mischief; he caught you and you were pretty sure he won’t let it down until you give him the attention that he wants.

But you won’t give him the satisfaction, not just yet. You were dying on the inside, wanting to just go back to the playful fights you have but your pride was at unrest. You want to see him go to an extent just to grab your attention again.

He shook his head in annoyance, mumbling something rather incoherent as he silenced himself, succumbing to your games.

Quietness enveloped the room, the only thing that could be heard was the heavy breathing from the exercises the two of you were doing. Moving from the punching bag to the treadmill, you plugged in your earphones as you listened to some tunes to entertain yourself; you’ve never heard silence quite this loud until you and Sam had completely disregarded each other’s presence.

“Oh my god, Y/N. If you weren’t so stubborn I would’ve told you that you’re my soulmate and pinned you against the wall already.”

Sam’s voice infiltrated your mind, obviously startling you, making you lose your control and twist your ankle which resulted with you falling down on the treadmill before sliding down to the floor. You groaned softly, holding on to your ankle as you winced in pain.

Sam on the other hand was quick to drop the free weight equipment he was using and ran to your side, face filled with concern. “Hey, you alright? What happened?” He questioned, hand carefully holding your achilles as he elevated it, checking for any signs of wounds.

You shook your head, refusing to believe that he was your soulmate. Goosebumps ran along your skin at his simple touch, now realizing the effect he has on you. Huffing lightly, he placed back down on the floor as he got up, dusting off his hands. “I’ll go get the first aid kit. I think you might have sprained your ankle from that fall.”

Sighing softly, you had no other choice but to let him do the work. He walked back to you and quietly worked on your ankle, gently pressing the ice to your ankle to contain its swelling, making you let out a hiss from the pain. “Don’t go biting me.” He humored, making laugh softly and rolled your eyes.

Seeing how close he was, you silently admired how his brows were furrowed in focus as he wrapped the bandage around your foot and ankle, how the sweat that littered his skin glistened in the bright light of the gym, and how hands light and gentle as he handled you which gave the butterflies at the pit of your stomach do flips.

You weren’t sure if you were able to speak with him freely through your thoughts, fearing that the attraction you had with him wasn’t mutual but you took a deep breath in, focusing your remaining energy to try and communicate with him. “Sam.”

He looked at you, “Yes?” which made you break out into a big smile, punching him lightly on the shoulder. His face of concern morphed into one of annoyance, “Hey! I’m here helping you out with your sprained ankle and you repay my kind actions by punching me on the shoulder?”

“Idiot, I didn’t even speak out loud.” You told him, catching him off-guard. You laughed softly at his surprised expression, probably not expecting that you would realize right away that you were each other’s soulmate. A smirk of triumph now adorned your lips as you wiggled your eyebrows at him, taking the opportunity to tease him even more. “Cat’s got your tongue?”

Sam chuckled, putting your foot on his thigh as he sat down on the floor, “As if I haven’t heard the incriminating thoughts that go through your mind.” He rebutted, looking around the room before meeting your gaze, a small smile adorning your lips. “You’re stuck with me now, I have the right to fully annoy you now.”

You sighed dramatically, laying on the cool floor. “What did I do in my past life to deserve this?” You playfully whined, covering your face with your hands which Sam was quick to uncover, now that he was hovering over you as he gently leaned in. “Please, I know you want me too.”

His voice deepened as it got softer, his body above yours as he spoke again, “You just didn’t know how much I wanted you too.” Normally Sam would be energetic and loud around you, to irk you beneath your skin, so seeing him so soft and gentle with you was making your brain go haywire. It was a side of you you haven’t seen yet.

Given the close proximity between the both of you, you could feel his warm breath fan out on your skin, effectively making your skin feel more flushed as it is. “How about you get a kiss from this sex god then, hm?” He managed to crack a joke, lips forming a smile as he casted a brief glance down to your lips.

You hit his shoulder, scrunching up your nose. “I can’t believe you heard my thoughts about that一 but who cares, kiss me.” And soon enough, his lips were on yours in a soft liplock. It was slow and gentle, his lips molded perfectly with yours as it portrayed the pent up emotions the both of you have been pining for each other.

The kiss had now upscaled into a much more passionate one, with his lower half playfully grinding down on you, effectively making you release a small moan which Sam took as an opportunity to let his tongue inside the wet cavern, asserting his dominance against you until

“Woah what the fuck!” was heard across the room, making you push Sam off from you as the both of you whipped your head to the door to see Bucky standing with wide eyes.

“I knew your sexual tension was high up in the air but can’t you guys fuck somewhere else?!”

---

TAGLIST: @lunalovecroft @gcdricreads @darthwheezely (fellow falcon simp, i just had to tag you)

#sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x you #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson fluff #the falcon #the falcon x reader #sam wilson fics #sam wilson fic #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson imagines #the falcon imagines

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loubrary · 3 years

Text

Billy Hargrove x Male Reader

Headcanons: You’re new in town and help Billy become a better person.

Warnings: mentions of violence and homophobia, hints of smut.

A/N: This doesn’t really follows the ST timeline but who cares about canon or accuracy, am I right?

[ Masterlist ]

Your parents move you a lot due to their jobs, they’re always researching something in some strange corner of the world. You can’t understand how you went from living in South America for the last six months to living in middle-of-nowhere Hawkins Indiana.

You’re out to your parents, and they’re very supportive. You consider yourself lucky, they’re very modern and open-minded people.

The kids at your new school don’t know what to make of you with your different clothes, hair and accent. Some of the teachers are fascinated to learn of the places you’ve been to.

When you met Robin your gaydars went off and you’re both excited to have a Fellow Gay in town. She introduces you to her friend Steve and the three of you become very close. Soon you are also helping Steve take care of his kids.

Billy hears of this strange new kid and goes to look for him to show him who owns this school. When Billy sees you he is enthralled, the world stops and all he sees is you, he feels a strange sensation inside, and he hates it.

In the days that follow, Billy makes his moves. He is mean to you, calls you names. He tries to intimidate you and scare you. But you’ve dealt with his type many times before and you have some tricks up your sleeve.

Billy hates that you don’t react to his taunting. You just smile and laugh.

“F*g!”

“You too?! Wanna go on a date, darling? Bad boys with pretty hair are totally my type, Hargrove.”

His words don’t work, so he changes his tactics.

You’re walking through an empty hallway when he attempts to grab you and slam you against the wall. Only to find himself on the floor completely immobilized. He had no clue you had trained in various martial arts.

Putting the pain aside, Billy is turned on by the feeling of being dominated, he feels himself hardening against the cold floor.

You lean down and whisper in his ear, “think twice before daring to touch me, pretty boy.” You let him go.

One side of him wants to fight but when he sees the determination and fearlessness in your eyes he backs down. “This isn’t over,” he huffs and leaves stomping the floor.

Billy leaves you alone after that. He only glares at you and curses at you under his breath. He hates that he can’t stop thinking about that day. He hates that he enjoyed being under your control. He hates how he can only cum to images of you. But at this exact moment he hates seeing you with Steve laughing.

You feel his eyes on you, how they follow you as you move. When you face him his face hardens and his fists clench, but there’s something in his eyes you can’t decipher.

One day you’re alone in the showers, or so you think. You turn and see Billy checking you out from the other side, completely frozen. You notice his hard-on and his eyes open wide. He thinks you’ll say something but you just smile and wink at him. He leaves hurriedly trying to control himself.

That confirms your suspicions and you know what is up with Billy. You’ve met guys with internalized homophobia, but never like Billy.

After that, teasing Billy becomes one of your favourite activities. You pay him visits at the pool, making sure he gets a nice view of you. You notice when he covers his lap with his magazine, and tries to focus on something else.

“Why do we come to the public pool? We both have pools at home,” Steve complains. Robin laughs at the clueless boy, and proceeds to explain the situation.

One day Billy finds you alone and he attempts to make a move on you. He was so confident believing you’d accept his advances.

“I’m not some desperate lonely gay boy, Billy. I don’t bend over for any hot guy that offers me his dick.” “So you think I’m hot?” He smirks. You scoff leaving him there.

Billy hates that you rejected him. How is it possible? He thinks of the guys he tormented and then fucked back in California, how easy they fell to their knees for him.

Billy has never met a gay guy as confident and unafraid as you. Deep inside he feels jealous and admiration for you. He secretly wishes he could be as open and be free as you.

You get paired for a project, you are prepared to do all the work and let him take part of the credit. You’re shocked when he asks if you want to get together to work on the project. You’re even more shocked when you learn that he actually understands the material and is quite smart.

Against your better judgement you invite him to your place. You’re surprised he shows up on time.

When he greets your parents, it’s like he’s a completely different person. He laughs at your dad’s jokes, compliments your mom, and even asks about what they are working on.

Billy is even more jealous of you when he sees how loving and caring your parents are, how happy and peaceful your home life is.

The second time he comes over he has to excuse himself and go to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and calm down. All he can think of is everything you have that he doesn’t.

He finds you and your parents sitting tightly together as your mother reads a book out loud in french for you and your dad.

“Sit down honey, I’ll translate for you,” your mother says.

By the fourth day he accepts your parents’ invitation to stay for dinner. He has fun, he’s fascinated by your parents’ stories and their research work.

You get a glimpse of the real Billy and can’t help but smile.

One day during dinner your mother talks about your exes trying to embarrass you, and asks Billy if there’s a special boy in his life.

Billy’s breath hitches and starts to sweat. He stands up quickly bumping into the table, saying he has to leave.

Your mom tries to apologise and your dad asks him to stay.

You follow him outside the house. “Billy, wait!”

He turns around to face you and his eyes are red as he tries to hold in the tears. “Hey, it’s all—“ “I’m not a... I’m not.” he grunts before getting in his car and speeding off.

Billy parks somewhere secluded and hits the steering wheel with his fists, he cries and yells in anger. He’s angry, sad, jealous.

He cries for his mom, for a life he wishes he had, for the love and support he yearns for.

Billy returns the following week to finish the project. He plans to just focus on the project, finish it and never return.

Your mom answers the door. “So good to see you, love, we’ve missed you,” she says warmly rubbing his arm, “sorry about the other day”. He almost doesn’t hear the last sentence, he hasn’t heard those words or felt that way in a long time. Someone being happy to see him, missing him, calling him love.

Your dad greets him and calls him son, and asks him to join him later in the study to show him their latest findings.

You and Billy don’t talk about what happened. You focus on your project.

“Have you always been out to your parents?” Billy blurts out.

You decide to be honest. “Yeah, they sort of figured it out when I was little.” You tell him how growing up you met all kinds of people through your parents. You tell him about your parents’ gay friends that you call uncles and aunts. Telling him how you always felt free to be yourself with your parents even though you know the world is cruel and unaccepting.

After a moment of silence Billy speaks. He talks about the only openly gay person he ever met, a friend of his mom back in California. He tells you about how his father hated his mom’s friend and got in fights with his mom about it.

He tells you about his dad, how aggressive and angry he is. He doesn’t tell you about the physical abuse. He went on about how unhappy he was, and how different your lives were.

You start to see why Billy acts the way he does. Bullying others is his way to feel he is in control.

“How do you do it?”

“What?”

“Being gay like that, you don’t hide.”

“We only live once, I’m not gonna let a world full of bigots tell me I can’t be myself and be happy.” You pause. ”Billy? You can always be yourself here.”

After you finish your project, Billy keeps coming to your place to hang out.

He’s more relaxed and tones down the attitude. He even starts being nice to Max.

He’s still the bad boy to everyone else, but when he enters your home all that stays outside.

You learn more about the real Billy. How he likes science and music. How curious he is. How funny he can be. And you slowly start to fall for this Billy.

One day Billy and you are in the living room listening to music lying on the carpet and giggling when your mom comes in. “Honey, your friends are here.”

You both look up and see a shocked Steve and the kids, and a grinning Robin. Max is especially shocked by the whole scene.

“Oh hey guys, you know Billy, right? We’re just listening to this new album.”

Billy panics, and stands up to escape, “I have to go.” You understand, not wanting to force him into anything.

The others sit down looking suspiciously at Billy as he leaves. Billy avoids all eye contact. “What did I get himself into?” Billy thinks.

Meanwhile Robin and you have each other’s arm over your shoulders as you sing dramatically.

“Is anyone going to talk about how you were on the floor giggling with Billy Hargrove?” Mike asks.

One rainy night, Billy is driving to your house. His eyes sting, his knuckles turn white gripping the wheel. He feels his cheek and eye starting to swell. He stays on the driveway debating on what to do. He sees your bedroom light on and goes to ring the bell hoping that you open the door.

It’s your mom that opens the door. “Billy? Come on in, love, you’re soaking wet.” When he steps into the lit hallway your mom finally sees his face. “Oh my god, sweetheart. What happened?”

“Who is it darling? Oh Billy! Are you okay, son?” Your dad asks him.

Billy wants to lie, he had this planned, he would have said how he got into a fight with another guy and didn’t want to go home looking like that. “I got—I...” he tries. But he can’t keep it in anymore. “It was... My—my dad...” he chokes as he lets out a cry.

He feels two sets of arms engulf him, and he lets is all out. He cries like he’s never cried before. He thinks he hears your name being called. He hears your parents’ voices, encouraging and supportive words he can barely make up. He cries even more when he think of how these people that he met not long ago care more about him than his own father.

You find your parents consoling Billy. Your mom is holding him while your dad rubs circles on his back. And Billy holds on to them like his life depends on it.“Billy?” He looks up to you and you see his broken face, all the pain and suffering he has endured and your heart breaks for him.

You help him get up and walk him to the living room. Your dad goes to prepare the guest room and your mother prepares some tea. Billy is curled into a ball under a blanker with his head on your lap. You run your hand through his hair as you rub his arm comfortingly.

When he calms down, he starts telling you of everything his dad has done. All the punches, the bruises, the hurtful words.

Later you take him to the guest room, you help him get his clothes off and rub some medicine over his bruises.

“Can you stay with me?”

“Of course.”

You hold him close, his face pressed on your chest.

For the first time in a long while Billy sleeps peacefully.

After that day your parents take action, they’re on the phone with their lawyers, looking at how they can help Billy and Max.

Your parents help him get custody of Max.

The both of them move in with your family.

“Can’t believe you’re taking me to live with your boyfriend,” Max tells him. “He’s just a friend,” he groans. “Yeah, right.”

That night Billy is in your bed as you read to him, his head on your lap. “Thank you,” he says pulling your book down to look at you. “What for?” You ask, running a hand through his hair. “For saving me, and Max.” You smile and kiss his forehead and continue with the story.

In the morning you wake up to Billy facing you, looking at you and he smiles.

“You okay?” He nods and reaches for your hand, holding it tightly as he scoots closer to you.

You move a loose strand of hair behind his ear, caressing his cheek, feeling how soft his skin is.

You two stay like that for a while just enjoying each other’s warmth in silence, playing with your hands and looking into other’s eyes. Neither of you can’t stop smiling.

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Billy.”

#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove x male reader #stranger things #tw: violence #angst #fluff

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ghostlynimbus00 · 2 years

Text

Put working on WIP Motivation Poll requests on hold for a bit today to work on this trans!Billy oneshot instead.

The terfs in my notifications this morning are to thank for this content, so a very big "Fuck you! You're not welcome here!" to them.

Hope you enjoy! <3

Rating: T

Ship: Harringrove

CWs: Implied/referenced abuse, internalized transphobia

The first time Steve buys Billy jewelry they’re six months into this, whatever the hell it is thing. This thing where they definitely aren’t just friends but Billy doesn’t know what the hell they are actually, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to fuck this up and make it weird by asking like he’s some needy chick.

But it’s Billy’s birthday, and he didn’t tell anyone okay? He doesn’t do birthdays. They’re too weird and complicated and they bring up too much baggage and he just, if he just ignores his birthday every year it’s easier.

But that’s the problem with doing this thing, whatever it is, with Steve specifically.

Because Steve actually talks to Max. Kind of a lot actually, probably more than Billy does. And Max doesn’t know how to keep her trap shut about things Billy doesn’t want her sharing so Steve always just knows about the shit that Billy doesn’t talk about.

Steve at least, has the sense to not make a big deal about it.

He hosts the kids for a pool party at his place, invites Billy to come along. Steve justifies Billy’s presence at the party to the kids under the pretense of wanting someone his age to hang out with, to the parents he does it with talk about how Billy is a lifeguard and how it’s always nice to have a lifeguard around for a pool party.

Twenty minute into the party Billy pulls Steve into the kitchen with the excuse of needing a beer and kisses him while the kids are all distracted outside. Steve wraps his arms around Billy and kisses him back, and that could have been enough of a birthday present for Billy to be satisfied with, happy even.

Just this one quiet moment between just the two of them, just one moment where he can revel in the knowledge that at least in some capacity Steve wants him too.

But then Steve’s pushing a small, unwrapped box into his hands and whispering “Happy birthday” into Billy’s ear before slipping out of his arms and heading back outside to let Billy open his present in private.

Steve bought him earrings. Dangly, expensive, and oh so feminine.

Billy knows he shouldn’t like them, can already hear the things his father will say if he catches Billy wearing them, but…

He also wants to try them on immediately.

He is nothing if not impulsive so he slips into the closest bathroom to try them on. He loves the way they look, and hates the way that makes him feel.

When he goes back out to the pool no one comments on how the skin around his eyes is a little redder than it was before, and he spends the rest of the day hyper aware of the little box in his pocket with the earrings he wants to wear all the time but will probably never put on again.

Billy, Steve, and Robin take trips out to the city sometimes. Whenever they need a break from Hawkins and the people that live there, and can find the time in their schedules, they drive out to the city in Billy or Steve’s car and spend the day there.

Sometimes they go to parks, or to thrift stores, or the movies. Once, they went to the zoo. It’s not really about what they do on these trips, just about getting out of Hawkins for a bit.

It’s during one of these trips that Steve catches Billy staring a little too longingly at a dress for the first time.

“Oh, that’s cute.” Steve says, head adorably tilted to the side as he studies the dress on the mannequin before them.

Billy hums in a generic acknowledgement.

He feels caught, like a little kid with cookie crumbs all over their new shirt. He doesn’t like the feeling.

“Do you want it?” Steve asks, glancing at Billy.

There’s no hint of judgment on Steve’s face, but still Billy’s pulse races.

Yes, he thinks.

“It’s a dress.” He says, instead.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, with a shrug. “I’ll buy it for you if you want it though.”

He doesn’t get the dress.

He can’t. He’s too scared and he can’t.

Three months into living together, just the two of them, in a small apartment above a laundromat, Billy’s starting to think they might actually be a couple. He wants to ask Steve to confirm but he still doesn’t want to come off like a needy chick so he asks Robin instead.

She laughs in his face, like the bitch that she is.

But through the tears of laughter she says that Steve’s thought they’ve been dating for nearly a year and a half now and asks what the hell Billy thought that trip out to that lake cabin was because Steve thought it was an anniversary trip.

Billy just thought Steve wanted a weekend away from his dad.

Six months after moving out of his dad’s house, Billy buys his first dress.

He brings it home while Steve is at work and tucks it away in the back of his side of the closet where he hopes Steve will never find it.

Sometimes on sunny days when he’s home alone he puts it on, along with the earrings Steve bought him for his birthday. He wears these secret things and he turns his music up loud and he feels a little freer, a little lighter, a little more at home in himself and his body for a little bit.

Steve finds the dress by accident. He was looking for one of Billy’s old jackets that he never wears anymore to borrow while helping Dustin with some experiment. Billy should have thought about it, should have offered to get it himself when Steve asked instead of sending Steve digging around for it on his own.

Steve hasn’t even said anything yet, just walked out of their bedroom with the dress in his hands and Billy’s already crying.

Sure, completely, that this is the end of something, everything.

Steve sets the dress down on the table carefully, and his hands are gentle when they cradle Billy’s face and brush away the tears.

“Babe, why are you crying?” Steve asks, eyes searching Billy’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I- I’m sorry.” Billy says, it’s all he can get out through the tears and the gasping choking sobs that are shaking through him without his permission. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby.” Steve says with a sigh, and a heartbroken look in his eyes. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Steve pulls him into a hug and Billy buries his face against Steve’s neck and clings to him as Steve pets through his hair and whispers kind words that Billy can’t quite bring himself to believe.

Once Billy’s cried himself calm again Steve pulls him into a kiss that feels like an ‘i love you’.

“It’s a really pretty dress.” Steve says. “I bet you look beautiful in it.”

Billy cries fresh tears over those words and how badly he wants to believe them and Steve holds him and comforts him through it even though Billy is gross and gets snot and tears all over Steve’s shirt.

The first time Billy wears a dress in front of Steve he feels like he might pass out he’s so nervous.

When he opens the bathroom door and Steve’s eyes sweep over him, taking in the whole look from the dress to the necklace to the earrings, he feels like he can’t breathe.

But then Steve’s face lights up and he’s smiling widely at Billy.

“Babe, you look amazing.” Steve says, sounding genuine even if Billy doesn’t believe him.

“You- you don’t have to say that.” Billy says, hating the way his voice gives away just how emotionally affected he is by all this. “It’s weird, I look stupid I know-”

“You look gorgeous.” Steve insists, coming up close to wrap an arm around Billy’s waist and pull him into a kiss.

“How’d I ever get so lucky?” Steve asks. Billy thinks he should be the one asking that.

Five years into this thing that Billy now realizes was always a serious relationship to Steve, Steve introduces Billy to his new friends from work. He introduces Billy to them as his wife, and Billy…

Well, she’s never been happier.

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #max mayfield m #dustin henderson m #neil hargrove m #trans billy #internalized transphobia cw #implied abuse cw #stranger thing #fic #fanfic #my fic #st fic #harringrove fic #oneshot #not very edited #spite and caffeine are great for writing but not editing #at least in my experience

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jellyfishloveletterghosts · 3 years

Text

Track in a Crowd

Another thing that has been sitting in my docs, this one has been there for over a year now. I was originally going to add more to the middle but then just never felt like it and I still don’t lol so abo Rockstar Billy and model Steve meeting at a party. Until my hands are better I’m pretty much just editing shit since it doesn’t require a whole lot.

Track in a Crowd

“I hate parties.” Steve complains for what must be the twentieth time since they arrived, slumping over on the couch so he can press his forehead against Carol’s shoulder, arms curled around her waist.

“I know Stevie, that's why you dragged me along.” Carol says with a laugh patting his head. It is always like this, every time Steve’s agent Heather calls and insists he needs to go somewhere for exposure, he begs Carol to go with him. They share an apartment so Steve usually slams into whatever room she is in, flops dramatically over the closest surface and complains before giving her big damp eyes, scent pumping out distress that is only a little forced.

“How much longer do we have to stay?” Steve asks, turning his face and tucking in closer to Carol’s neck trying to block out the other smells from the party. It is mostly alphas and betas crowding the room and the pheromones are high, they always are when alcohol is flowing at these sorts of parties, most folks trying to show off to others and make connections, it is nauseating. Steve sighs into Carol’s neck as she projects comfort into her scent and it helps a little.

Carol does not answer his question, Heather had come by their apartment before the party and insisted Carol keep Steve at the party for a minimum of three hours. It has only been thirty minutes, best to not point that out, instead she changes the subject. “You want some horderves? We should probably eat something.” Carol says as she finishes her flute of champagne, Steve already finished his drink a few minutes earlier, empty delicate glass held between his thighs.

Steve makes a noncommittal noise into Carol’s throat. Carol is right they should eat, he is even a little hungry but the thought of traveling across the room to get to the large table holding various mini foods makes his stomach roll anew. Why are the servers not also carrying trays of food, instead of just carrying drinks around the room, he finds it very inconvenient.

"How about you stay hunkered down here" Carol waves a server with drinks over swapping out their empty flutes for two fresh ones. "And have some more to drink while I go get us some food?" Carol sips her own champagne while running the fingers of her free hand through Steve's hair.

"But then I'll be all alone." Steve complains, fingers toying with the glass Carol pressed between his thighs, careful not to spill it.

"Can't have it both ways sweetie." Carol does not actually give him a chance to decide, standing abruptly and dislodging Steve from her. "I'll be right back." Carol says bending down and laying a kiss on Steve's cheek, hoping it will help keep any overzealous alphas from approaching in her absence.

Steve tries to grab for Carol so he can drag her back onto the couch but she dances out of his reach and he pouts as she disappears into the crowd. Steve hunches down and tries to look as unapproachable as possible as he frowns into his champagne glass. He hates these things but at least with Carol at his side he does not have to worry about alphas trying to approach him.

It is not that he does not like alphas, he just does not like most alphas. A lot of them are huge assholes, who have forgotten how to actually talk to an omega, especially the ones who come to these sorts of parties. They think they do not have to work for it, that they can just get away with pumping out pheromones and using their alpha vocal cords to force an omega into a drop. Steve punched the last alpha to try using their cords on him. The tabloids had hounded him for three weeks after that, until another famous omega got caught having an affair on their alpha.

Steve scowls at any alpha that even glances in his direction, scent going hostile because he really, really does not want to deal with any of them. Steve frowns as he looks at his watch before berating himself, it has only been five minutes. He occupies himself by drinking his champagne, by the time he finishes the glass it has been twenty minutes and he starts to worry. It definitely should not be taking Carol this long.

The same server as before who has thankfully been working the outskirts of the party comes by and Steve thanks him as he switches out his empty flute for a new one, eyes scanning the crowd looking for Carol. It is the wrong move, as it attracts a nearby alpha, who takes Steve’s searching eyes as an invitation to take up the seat next to him, sitting entirely too close without invitation. Steve huffs in agitation, edging away from the man in the limited space left to him.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing all by yourself over here?” They ask, sliding closer and taking up the space Steve just made between them, ignoring the sour scent pouring off of Steve. Steve doubts the man can even smell him with all of the interest the man himself is pumping out, some alphas smell good to Steve, this man is not one of them and Steve decided to take immediate action.

Steve stands and ignores the man's surprised shout as he sucks it up and ventures into the crowd, the scent here is not really better but at least no one is actively directing it at him. Steve wanders through the crowd looking for Carol and trying to avoid groping hands when his nose catches a scent. It is something pleasant tangled in the mass of unpleasantness and he wants to follow it. Steve chews on his lips, it is rare he finds a scent he wants to follow, downing his third glass he weaves through the crowd, Carol forgotten as he searches.

Billy is bored, always so bored at these parties. It is always a variation of the same people crowding into these things. The first year after their band had taken off and they really got famous Billy had enjoyed all of the partying but they have been at this for a few years now, it is old hat. Billy has meet all of the people who enjoy these types of things, has fucked a wide variety of them, he is not really looking for nameless sex these days, which is all that every comes out of these things, that or someone just trying to cling onto the coattails of his fame and Billy is not interested in that either. He thinks it would be nice to find someone to settle down with.

Robin is not really into these parties the record label throws either but she has always been less inclined, all the mixing alpha pheromones make it less than fun for her sensitive nose. Their manager insists they have to come to them though, they have a reputation to keep or something, Billy tends to tune him out when he starts talking. They will be expected to make an appearance downstairs in the crowded ballroom soon, will have to come down from the little couch set up on the balcony overlooking the party. Billy is not looking forward to it and he can tell by the pinched look on Robin’s face that neither is she.

They are shooting the shit, mostly judging various party guests when their manager finally makes an appearance with a fake grin stretched across his face. “I suppose it’s time for us to go play our parts and cater to the masses.” Robin huffs out scent sour, the whole place reeks, even up here all Billy can smell is the strong mix of scents, the majority of the party alpha and betas.

“Don’t worry, if anyone tries anything, I’ll kick their ass.” Billy reassures, getting a bark of laughter out of Robin.

“Like I need you to kick someone's ass for me.” Billy has seen her defend herself plenty, she is more than capable but that does not mean he will not jump in if he happens to be right there.

“Come on birdy, I’m getting hungry anyway, the catering is from that fancy place you like.” Billy stands tossing an arm around Robin’s shoulders as they brush by their manager, ignoring him as he opens his mouth to speak. They just keep walking, heading down the stairs into the throng of people. Billy pushes Robin in front of him, to keep from losing her in the crowd and so that no one can grab her ass. The last time someone made that mistake she broke their hand and Billy had cracked a rib laughing about it. Billy still ends up having to shoves people out of their way, as they ignore Robin trying to get through, sneering threateningly at anyone who opens their mouths to say something about it.

“Awe fuck yeah stuffed mushrooms!” Robin says excitedly, making a beeline for them as soon as they break through the crowd by the catering table. She grabs one off the table and immediately stuffs it in her mouth. Billy is laughing at her antics as he grabs a kabob and watches a pretty red headed woman offer Robin a napkin as sauce dribbles down her face.

Billy keeps his distance as he watches Robin flush as the woman makes gooey eyes at her and offers up a plate next. He keeps close just in case she gets too bold but Robin is smiling and making conversation so he just munches on his own kabob watching them. They are all flirty and gross cute and Billy is definitely going to tease Robin about this later.

Billy does not want to interrupt but when a server puts a tray of fresh mini sliders on the end right behind them Billy moves closer, he loves mini sliders, the one good thing at these parties. He is just passing them when he catches a scent, a really good scent, smells like home and comfort and Billy wants to chase it.

“Uh Billy boy watch yah doing to Carol?'' Robin asks and it is only then Billy realizes he has stuck his nose against Carol’s shoulder.

“My bad.” He mumbles pulling away cheeks pink. He really needs a drink, or maybe no drink, maybe he has had too much to drink without enough food, he has never done something like that before, just pressed his nose against someone else that he does not even know.

Robin catches him by the arm before he can make an escape. “Are you okay?” He still manages to snag a slider from the tray.

“Yeah, uh just something smelled good on her.” He can still smell it, it is all over Carol, an omega that Billy can smell over Carol’s own alpha scent and the mix of scents that have brushed up against her since. Billy has never reacted to an omegas scent like that before, never smelled something so compatible, so alluring. Carol looks fucking delighted as she gives him a once over.

“Oh you must be smelling Stevie! I was just with him a few minutes ago, he’s a hugger.” Carol’s eyes turn away from him searching for her friend, frowning as the crowd parts and she does not spot him on the couch on the other side of the large room where she left him. “Usually he sticks to lingering on the outskirts at these sorts of things.” Worry etches into her scent. “Sorry I should go find him, make sure he hasn’t been cornered by some unwanted alpha. I swear it happens every time.” Carol shoots Robin an apologetic look. “Maybe I’ll see you later?”

“Or I can come help you look.” Robin offers quickly.

“We could help you look.” Billy pipes in a second later. He wants more of that scent in his nose, preferably right from the source and some other alpha interfering with that does not sit right with Billy. Both women smirk at him “If I just leave it to the two of you, you’ll be making out in a broom closet instead of looking.” Billy grumbles cheeks pink.

"We just met." Robin argues the flush of her cheeks saying that is exactly what would happen.

“I would not make out in a broom closet, maybe a very clean bathroom.'' Carol says. tossing a wink at Robin who blushes with a giggle, oh Billy is definitely going to mock her for this later, Robin never giggles. Robin catches Billy looking at her and flips him off.

“So what should we be on the lookout for, what is going to make him stand out?” Billy asks like he does not already have his nose in the air searching for another whiff of that scent that is not on Carol.

“Well he is wearing a dark green suit with a bright floral print shirt underneath, some designer wanted him seen in it and his agent insisted.” Carol says from the purse of her lips Billy is guessing she is not a fan of the outfit or the agent, possibly both. Billy scans the crowd, there are plenty of people in suits but most of them are boring black or gray, no green, no bright pop of color, a lot of people who happen to be in the industry are dressed down like Robin and Billy, more like they are going to a show and less the fancy party that they are in attendance at.

Billy shrugs, moving as he catches another whiff of that scent, he wants to live in it. He is vaguely aware of Robin and Carol following after him.

Steve frowns. He cannot find the source of that scent but he has wandered into a room that is full of it and he decided that rather than going back out in the crowd to search for it that this is close enough. There are other scents in the room too but most of them are faint compared to whatever alpha smells so good and the only other strong scent is that of another omega. Steve frowns, fingering the strap of a guitar near the wall. He really hopes the alpha he keeps smelling is not already attached. He really would like to bury his face in that scent.

Steve is distracted by his own thoughts and does not hear the door opening, the footsteps muffled by the carpet. Steve blinks as an offensive scent breaks through the pleasant one, filling up the room. Je whips around to find the unknown alpha from earlier standing entirely too close. Steve moves to step back and nearly topples over onto the couch set up against the wall, he had not realized he wandered that far from the center of the room.

“Easy their beautiful wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.” They say, hand catching Steve by the elbow before he can fall, Steve does not like it, he would have preferred the fall. He wrenches his arm back or rather he tries to but the man's grip tightens and Steve gives a little growl of agitation. “I’m just trying to be friendly, why so hostile?” The man does not let Steve go and his strong scent makes Steve's stomach roll, he wants away and he wants away now.

“Let go.” Steve tries diplomacy first for no other reason than he really does not want to listen to Heather berate him for the next month because the tabloids got another story about him being a bad omega like that is even a thing. Steve hates the tabloids more than he hates parties, and almost as much as he hates alphas who think they can do whatever they want.

“Calm down baby, just want to talk.” Steve bristles as the man lays his cords on thick, glowering as it washes over him. Steve’s alpha father used to do that shit to him all of the time when he was young, it does not work on him now and he responds violently. He does not give a fuck if the tabloids run another story on him, feeling his knuckles slam against the guys cheek bone is more than worth it. Steve follows up the punch with a quick jab to the guys throat lest he try using his cords again, satisfaction curling in his belly as the man gives a gasping choke and falls to his knees clutching his throat.

Billy and Carol track Steve’s scent to one of their rehearsal rooms, well Billy does most of the work Carol keeps getting distracted, flirting with Robin. It is gross but Billy hopes she is being sincere, she smells sincere, it has been a while since Robin met someone new, much less liked anyone so easily.

Billy gets distracted from his thoughts as he watches a man who can only be Steve punch some alpha in the throat, scent going bright with satisfaction as his dark eyes watch the man struggle for air. Billy’s cock definitely gives a kick in his tight leather pants, his own scent going heated, shit he might be a little in love already, he is definitely in lust. Steve whips his eyes from the man as Carol lets out a low whistle from next to Bill.

“That’s my boy! Heather isn’t going to like this.” Carol laughs.

“Heather can kiss my ass, I’m leaving, I fucking hate parties.” Steve hisses, kicking the alpha over when it looks like he might try getting up off of the ground and heading for the door. He stops suddenly in his tracks right in front of Billy, giving the air a big obvious sniff. “It’s you, that scent is coming from you, I’ve been trying to find it.”

“Smell pretty good yourself pretty boy.” Billy says, giving his own sniff, nostrils flaring as Steve takes a step closer. “How's your hand, you hit that asshole pretty hard.” Billy makes an aborted move to grab at Steve’s hand before thinking better of it. He does not want this to end the way it had for that other alpha.

Steve licks over his lips, scent inviting “Could use some ice.” He holds his hand up close to Billy showing off the red of his knuckles and Billy takes it for what it is, lets his fingers brush over soft skin.

“Why don’t we get you some ice, I know my way around this place we can bypass the crowd.” Billy asks, letting his fingers slide down to Steve's wrist, thumb brushing the underside, feeling the thumping pulse underneath.

“Billy grab some champagne while you're at it and meet us on the balcony, no one else will be up there, me and Carol will raid the horderves.” Robin pipes up grinning when Carol just nods her head enthusiastically at the idea.

“What do you say pretty boy?” Billy asks, hoping Steve says yes, watching Steve as he appears to be thinking about it.

“I am hungry.” Steve offers with a smile that Billy mirrors while the two women make excited murmurs to one another before leaving the room.

“Follow me.” Billy says, tucking Steve’s hand into the crook of his elbow and leading him toward a door on the opposite wall, grinning when Steve takes the opportunity to kick the alpha from before one last time as they are walking by. “What did he do to piss you off?” Billy asks as he leads them down a dark hallway.

“Tried to use his cords on me.” Steve sneers, scent souring.

“You should have kicked him in the throat. We can go back if you want to. I can do it if you don't want to.” Billy offers, scent becoming angry at the thought, it was clear the man did not know Steve and even if he had they certainly are not together. Steve bears no second scent, he is not bonded to anyone. It is impolite to use your cords on an omega who is not in distress or imminent danger, especially someone you do not even know.

Steve's scent goes bright with amusement as he tips his head back and laughs, putting more of his long spotted neck on display. Billy's mouth goes dry as his scent just gets better, his own scent draining of aggression as he breathes Steve in. "Maybe next time." He says, tone lilting with his continued mirth.

Billy ignores the staff in the kitchen digging out ice and wrapping it in a kitchen towel before holding it against Steve’s knuckles. He swipes a case of champagne on their way out, and one of the servers watches them before shrugging and going back to stuffing crab cakes into a little plastic container.

When they get up to the balcony they find Carol and Robin making out against the railing that is overlooking the party. Billy makes it a point to let the champagne clatter against the little table, both him and Steve laughing as the two women break apart.

Billy sits down on the couch leaving the rest of it open as the two women press into an armchair, practically on top of each other. Normally he would have sat himself in the middle and spread out but he wants to leave Steve with plenty of space, giving him the choice of how close they are. He is utterly pleased when Steve slides close, barely an inch between them as he stuff a mushroom cap in his mouth offering another one to Billy.

#harringrove #Carobin #jellyghostfic #fanfiction #st fic #Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington #carol perkins x robin buckley #harringrove abo

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