Description: Tiktok from user littlevictorianboy. He monologues while an alternate version of himself stares in silent confusion. "Ladies, you're not still single because you're not hot enough. And you're not still single because the apps suck. You're still single because you murdered that seabird. And we all told you not to, but as soon as our backs were turned, you were pummeling bird meat with your bloody lady fists. And I don't care that the bird spoke with the voice of your dead father. He was not the ghost of your father come to haunt you, ladies. He was just a normal seabird who was good at impressions. He was the Frank Caliendo of seabirds. He was opening for Sebastian Maniscalco next week. I had tickets. Now I'm not gonna be able to enjoy his spot on, if not a little problematic, Charles Barkley impression because you decided to crush bird skull in a blind rage. Is that fair to me? No. Is that fair to the millions of Maniscalco heads out there? No, it is not. But you know what? I feel sorry for you because your love life is in absolute shambles. So I'm gonna help you get this bird curse off of your head. Now listen to me very carefully. You're gonna go to the beach. You're gonna order an extra large french fry and you're just gonna leave it there. Do that once a day for an entire year. I know it's annoying, but I don't make the rules, okay? The gulls do. This is a gull's world. We're just living in it, sweetheart."