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#thanks for this! hv a nice day
sexysilverstrider · 1 year
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my favourite compliment from a parent today is "id take any malay hijabi to a blue eyed white person to teach my daughter english" hehe
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darilaros (princess) │ Chapter 3: Pyre
terms of endearment ‘verse: see my Masterlist for the correct series order!
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GIF by @hotdcentral
Chapter 1 │Chapter 2 │Chapter 3 │Chapter 4 │Chapter 5 │Chapter 6 │Chapter 7 │Chapter 8 (COMPLETE!)
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Synopsis: As the second daughter of King Viserys, you experience firsthand what it means to belong to the House of the Dragon. You struggle with the passing of your mother.
Hello! My apologies for the wait. My laptop broke, so I had to go get a new one. It took me a bit to set it all up how I like, and then I had a busy time of it at work + a bit of writer's block. I hope the chapter makes up for it! Keep in mind there are some untranslated bits of HV in here, but I'll make a post + link transcribing all that for those who want. Thank you to @ewanmitchellcrumbs for giving this the go-ahead!
TRIGGERS: character death, exploration of child grief, dysfunctional family dynamics.
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It is very quiet now that Mama has died.
Brella is quiet. Septa is quiet. Ana and Peony, the maids who come to make your bed neat again and pick up all the dresses you’ve worn, are quiet. Ser Harrold is quiet—but then, he usually is. None of Papa’s guards seem to want to make a sound now. Neither do Papa’s Councilmen, like Lord Corlys or Lord Lyman, who you sometimes see walking down the halls with very sad looks upon their faces.
You wonder if, when Mama died, she took a part of all these people with her.
She has taken a part of Papa, and of ’Nyra, too. Suppertime is so very quiet that you are afraid to breathe in case everyone can hear it. They both just stare at their plates, eyes puffy and red like yours are when you cry, which means they have been crying, too. They eat their food like someone else is moving their mouths, and when they swallow, it looks like the most painful thing in the whole world.
Papa and ’Nyra haven’t spoken to you since the day of the tourney. You try not to be sad about it, but it’s hard. Now that Mama has gone away, they are your family, and it hurts that your family won’t look at you or say anything to you. It’s almost like they have forgotten all about you.
“They’re grieving,” Alicent tells you, taking your hand in hers as you walk towards the Sept. The stairs are very hard to climb, so she had to help you up, and it was nearly like having Mama again when she pulled you into her arms and held you tight. “Their sorrow has made them blind to all else.”
You don’t really understand what she means. “To me, too?”
“Hm?”
“Their sorrow. It’s made them not see me?”
Alicent stops. Something very soft and sad makes her face droop, and she bends down so that she can look you right in the eyes. “Oh, Princess. They see you. And they love you. But your mother”—she takes a breath that sounds shaky—“she was very important to them. They miss her very much.”
“I miss her, too.” You wonder when Mama will return. How long is ‘never’? No one has ever explained it to you. Hopefully it is soon.
“I know you do.” Alicent stands and grabs onto your hand again, leading you toward the table where so so many candles are.
The room is very hot, all the little fires making you sleepy even though it is only morning time. There are two stools right before the table, and Alicent kneels on one. You try to do the same on the other, but it means you cannot see the candles anymore.
“How about you stand on it instead, Princess?” Alicent asks. She lets you hold onto her shoulder so that you can get up on the stool like she said, which makes it much easier to see. Then, she folds her hands together in front of her chin and bends her head, so you do the same.
It isn’t very interesting to stare at your fingers at first, but after a while, it’s nice. You count all the little folds in your skin—there are a lot—and trace the edges of your thumbnails with your mind over and over. Time goes funny, and you cannot remember why you were ever sad before you came here.
It might be minutes or hours or days before Alicent speaks. “Would you like to light a candle? For your mother?”
“Why?” you ask, frowning. Is candle-lighting how to get Mama to come back? Will she see the light and know it’s me and return with baby Baelon? Is that why so many people pray in the Sept?
Alicent picks up a candle that hasn’t been lit. “To remember her. You light the candle and… she’ll see it.”
“From where?”
“From one of the Seven heavens.”
“Where’s that?”
“I… do not know.” She stares at the candle like she is trying to light it without moving. “Somewhere far away. My mother is there, too.”
“Oh.” She sounds very sad, so you reach out to grab hold of another unlit candle. “Can I light this one? For Mama?”
That makes her smile just a little. “Of course, Princess.”
Alicent takes one of the lit candles and tilts it into yours, making sure not to spill any of the hot wax on you. You hold very still, because fire is dangerous which means you can get hurt, even though you touched it once and it didn’t feel like anything but warm. The little string at the top catches fire, burning orange and gold and swaying gently.
She lights her own, too. “Now, you place it on the altar, like so.” She carefully sets both candles down and closes her eyes for a moment, and you think she must be thinking of her own mama.
You nudge your candle back to where you took it, watching the flame dance about. I lit a candle for you, Mama, so you can see it. Do you? Do you see me?
Where are you, Mama? When are you coming back?
The candle doesn’t answer. It just sits there, the little fire bobbing about and then finally falling still. All you can hear is the sound of your own breathing. When you are done, Alicent helps you step off the stool, and you leave the Sept with the candles still lit behind you.
Just outside, you find Uncle Daemon waiting for you.
While ’Nyra and Papa are grieving and Papa’s Council are planning and everyone else is doing whatever it is they do away from you, Uncle has been making sure that you are ‘well’ by telling you stories and teaching you more High Valyrian and sitting at the table to watch while you and Brella play with your dolls together. He never stays for a long-long time, but it is still very nice.
“Farewell, Princess.” Alicent lets go of your hand and turns to curtsey to Uncle, who bows his head but says nothing, just stares with a not-exactly-kind look on his face. Then, she leaves, her footsteps fading away and then dropping as she goes down the stairs. You listen until the noise disappears entirely.
Uncle’s brow raises. “What were you doing in the Sept with only Hightower’s daughter for company? Where’s your sister?”
He never calls her by her name. You wonder why, sometimes.
“She took me because ’Nyra is napping again from crying so much, and I was by myself. So, we went to the Sept so I could light a candle for Mama,” you say quietly. “So that she’ll see it and come back.”
At that, he softens. He crouches down so you can see his face more clearly. “She’s not coming back, sweetling. You know that, don’t you?”
“Why not?”
“She…” He grunts. “Do you remember the stories about Aegon the Conqueror, and his sister-wives Visenya and Rhaenys?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
“Right.” He rises, gripping you below your arms and lifting you high so that he can carry you away from the Sept. It makes him uncomfortable, though you don’t know why. “Tell me what happened to Rhaenys.”
“She tried to—to get Dorne to say that Aegon was their King, so she rode Meraxes to them.” Uncle hums approvingly, so you keep going. Your voice wobbles with each step he takes. “But they were angry at her for burning the grass and the trees and the buildings and the people and the sheep and the horses and th—”
“Yes, yes, she lit Dorne aflame.” Uncle rolls his eyes. He bounces you extra hard in his arms so that it feels like you’re about to fall, and you squeal and wrap your arms tight-tight around his neck so that you don’t. “Leave the boring bits out. Tell me the rest.”
“She—Dorne took a big, big arrow and hit Meraxes in the eye, and Rhaenys and Meraxes fell all the way to the ground from up high and died.”
His lips twist at the way you say the last word. “You’ve been paying attention. Good girl.” You’re out in the courtyard now, away from the Sept. It isn’t any louder out here, which is strange, because it is usually always loud and full of people. “Did Rhaenys ever return to Aegon and Visenya?” he asks, moving towards the doors that lead to Maegor’s Holdfast where your rooms are.
“No…” you say, unsure. You don’t think she did. “Why didn’t she go back?”
Uncle sighs, slowing down so he can look at you properly. “That’s what it means to die, sweetling. Rhaenys didn’t go away. When she hit the ground, her body ceased to function. She stopped seeing, feeling, thinking, moving, breathing. She became… nothing.” Your belly twists. You don’t like what he’s telling you, not one bit. Whatever your face is doing, it makes Uncle keep talking. “It’s like your dolls—you can touch them and see them, can’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“But when you speak to them, do they speak back?”
“No.”
“Do they have beating hearts?”
“No.”
“Do they eat or piss or shit?”
You gasp. “That—that’s naughty, kepus!”
He rolls his eyes again. “No, they don’t. They’re things, not people. And your mother… she’s no longer a person. She’s a body; one we must put to rest today.”
The funeral is soon. Uncle has been reminding you lots and lots, and when you asked, he said a funeral is what people go to so they can say goodbye to the person who has died and put their body back where it is meant to go. And because Mama is a Targaryen like you and Uncle and Papa and ’Nyra, her body has to be put on fire so that she can go back to the wind.
She’s not a person anymore. She’s a nothing. It scares you.
You sniffle. “But… I don’t want her to be gone like Rhaenys did. I want her back.”
“I know.” Uncle hugs you then, pulling you so close that your nose gets stuck in all his hair. When you breathe in, all those hairs go up inside your nostrils and make them itch. You hope he never lets go. “I know.”
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Put on the dress, then sit in the carriage, then walk up the Hill, then stand quiet. Put on the dress, then sit in the carriage, then walk up the Hill, then stand quiet. Put on the dress, then sit in the carriage, then walk up the Hill, then stand quiet.
You keep saying it over and over in your head, just like Uncle had said. He is the only one who would tell you what is going to happen at the funeral, because he knows that you like to know things even when you’re afraid of them. It makes you feel better, makes you feel a little less scared.
Uncle never told you how many people would be here, though.
Everyone comes to watch you and ’Nyra and Papa and Uncle walk through the Keep to the carriage—the maesters, the maids, the pageboys, the lords and ladies that like to stay in the city—but they stay silent as you pass. You wonder if pressing yourself against the wall and thinking really hard about being made of stone will turn you invisible, which is when you can’t be seen. You wish you could. There are too many gazes on you, and it makes all the hairs on your arms and legs and neck stand up. Uncle has to press you forward when you slow down to look for an escape.
You sit in the carriage beside ’Nyra while Papa and Uncle sit at the front, because Papa is the King and Uncle is his heir. She is very pale, almost blending with her hair except for her red eyes. You slip your hand into hers and she squeezes hard, but you try not to show her that it hurts. She looks less sad holding onto you, so you don’t mind at all that her fingers pinch.
It is the first time in a long time that you have been able to see any of the people outside the walls of the Keep. Before Mama died—before Mama’s belly got too big and she had to stay in bed—she used to take you just beyond the gates to where the really poor commonfolk would line up every sennight on the day of rest to get their alms, which Mama says is an important part of being good. She would say that you have to give coin and food and whatever else the people might need so that they are well and happy, because that means they will support the King’s reign and be peaceful. You don’t know what that means, but Mama is always right.
You miss it—giving people things, letting them pat your cheeks or your hair and calling you the People’s Princess. Because Mama is Queen and giving alms is what the Queen is meant to do, no one else could take you when she stopped going out of her chambers. And, when you went with her, the people were always very loud and cheerful and smiling, and they thanked you with tears in their eyes when Mama let you give them the pouches of coin yourself.
As the carriage takes you through the city today, the commonfolk are quiet.
None of them are smiling, or happy. They watch on as the horses take you through the streets, and some of them even cry when they see the long box that the cart ahead of you is carrying. It is the biggest, nicest box you’ve ever seen, made with dark wood and borders that look like real gold, glinting in the sun. Uncle told you that the box has the bodies inside it, the ones of Mama and baby Baelon.
You think that the people miss Mama very much. Maybe they miss her almost as much as you do—but not the same amount. You think you miss Mama most of all, even more than Papa or ’Nyra, because at least they have Lord Otto or Lord Lyman or Lord Corlys or Alicent or Betha Strong or Ser Harrold to keep them company. All you have is Mama and sometimes Uncle, and now Mama is gone.
After a while, the carriage starts to take you up and up, which means that you are almost at the point where you will need to stop and get out and walk the rest of the way. This is because the horses cannot pull so much weight up Visenya’s Hill. Uncle said it would be hard for you to walk, being so small when the hill is so large, but that you have to so that everyone can see how brave you are. “Targaryens don’t show weakness,” he says.
He is right—the walk is hard. At first, when you get out and take ’Nyra’s hand and start to follow Papa up the hill, it isn’t so bad. But then, it gets steeper and steeper, almost so steep that you feel like you need to use your hands to climb the rest of the way. Your legs burn so much that you want to cry, but you don’t. Uncle said you cannot be carried, either, so you don’t ask ’Nyra to pick you up. You must be brave. You must be brave.
By the time you reach the top, the men who were made to carry the box have opened it up and taken out the things inside. There are two funny-shaped objects covered in brown cloth lying in the middle of the pyre that has been built for the funeral—one is big, bigger than you, while the other is very small. They are the bodies of Mama and Baelon, and you have to hold on tight to the memory of Uncle’s words to keep from running over and trying to shake them awake.
“What remains of them will be set upon the pyre, yes—but remember, they’re not people. They’re just skin and bone and meat now. You must let them burn as all Targaryens burn.”
’Nyra’s hand feels like ice around yours as a man in a strange dress with a hood comes forward, past all the lords and ladies and past Uncle and Papa to stand right in front of the pyre. Two other men wearing dresses that look almost the same go with him, but stay one step behind.
“Tubī Arryno Lentro Dārie Aemme se Targārio Lentro Dārilaros Baelon perzyrty mōrqittot…” he says. You don’t know all the words, but you think he must be talking about the way Mama is a queen and baby Baelon is a prince, which seems silly to mention now that they’re not real anymore. “Sȳndor zijosy rēbarose, Dāria Aemma eglio ilvot trēso Dārilaros Baelon zȳhos gūros se tegot…”
Syrax is standing on the very top of the hill above everyone else. Because it would be very rude to look around at the others—Papa’s Councilmen and Alicent and the men who live on Dragonstone, your family’s special home, and Princess Rhaenys too, who is very scary, as well as so so many people you don’t know at all—you keep your eyes fixed on the dragon, admiring how pretty she looks in the sun. Usually, she makes lots of noise and is very mischievous, which is another word for naughty, but today she is quiet like all the rest. You wonder how she knows about funerals when she cannot speak in Valyrian or the Common Tongue or any other words that people can understand.
“Targārio ānogro rȳ ōrbrar ojāris, sētenondi hen ībī iemnȳ nȳmas,” the man says. His dress has what looks like an eye sewn on the chest, which seems an odd thing to want to wear. No one else in the Keep wears eyes.
The two men behind him step up with jugs in their hands, and they walk around the pyre pouring what is in the jugs over the cloth. It turns the brown even darker brown. After they bow, they move back, and no one speaks for a while.
Finally, the man with the eye on his chest says one last thing. “Hen perzȳ sīdas. Va perzȳ āmāzissi. Hen prānot istas, vapār drējī mōrī iksis.”
Something about fire, you think. Maybe he is saying your House words in High Valyrian. Fire and blood.
It is silent then, nothing but the sound of the wind whistling filling your ears. Everyone is still, from the lady with the kind eyes that remind you of your own on the other side of the pyre to the funny men to the side. No one speaks. You wonder what is supposed to happen now.
Uncle puts his hand on your shoulder, leaning in to whisper in ’Nyra’s ear. “They’re waiting for you.”
At first, you think she hasn’t heard him—she doesn’t move or do anything at all, just keeps staring where Mama and baby Baelon are. You nearly jump when her fingers tighten on yours. “Ñurho valonqro paghyro jēdunna, lo tolijī kepa ñuha kirimvī rhēdos pendan.”
My brother lived, father found happy. It makes no sense, but Mama told you once that it is rude to listen to other people’s conversations, so you try not to listen too hard.
Uncle speaks too low for you to hear him, to which ’Nyra replies with something you do understand. “Trēsy dōrī kesan.” I will never be a son.
She sounds very, very sad. Poor ’Nyra, you think. I will never be a son, either. I’m just a daughter, a girl, like you. Maybe Papa would be happier if ’Nyra or you had died instead of Baelon, if your body was wrapped in the brown cloth on the pyre and you weren’t real anymore.
’Nyra lets go of you. She looks to Papa, but all he is doing is staring at the pyre where Mama and Baelon lie. Her face is very red, which means she has been crying. When she steps forward, Uncle takes your hand and pulls you back to stop you following her. He is warm, so you try to hug onto his leg in a way that doesn’t make you weak like he told you not to be.
Syrax makes her chirping noise, all of a sudden paying attention to what her rider is doing. ’Nyra tries to speak, but it doesn’t come out. “Dr…”
She looks at Papa again, so you do too. He still hasn’t looked away from the pyre. You wonder if he knows you and ’Nyra and Uncle are even here, because he hasn’t so much as glanced at you since the night he came to your rooms and told you that Mama and Baelon had died. Not once.
“Drakarys.”
Syrax rumbles, and then begins to climb down toward all the people. For a moment, you’re worried she might try to eat someone, but the Dragonkeepers are here with their spears to stop anything bad happening. She opens her mouth, and fire comes bursting out.
The pyre lights up, and Mama and Baelon disappear in bright-white-orange.
“Mama?” you whisper, eyes stinging and throat feeling strange, like you want to be sick but not. “Mama?”
The only thing that you can hear is the sound of burning.
Papa bends his head, and ’Nyra looks away. You think that you may be the only one who keeps watching the fire as it takes your Mama away from you forever.
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(When you are grown, you will not remember this day. You will not remember the ache in your bones or the wind in your hair. You will not remember the faces of the commonfolk you passed along the way, or the sorrow in Rhaenyra’s voice when she called down dragonfire upon the hill. You will not remember the cold that leached into your blood as you stood beside what was left of your family, a slow freezing that will take its toll over the days and moons and years of your existence.
Even so, the sight of the bodies on the pyre and the smell of burning flesh will remain etched into the very fabric of your person forevermore.
At night, you will sometimes feel as though ash clings to your tongue, the taste of rot lingering in your mouth. In dreams, you will see brown cloth and a faceless babe wiggling beneath wrappings as it burns to nothing. You will wake in a panic, near to choking on the air you cannot seem to make yourself breathe, looking about wildly in search of the horrors that had plagued your slumbering thoughts. Melancholy will follow you, lurking just beyond reach, haunting, nameless.
But you will not remember this day.)
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After the funeral, Uncle Daemon leaves.
You don’t know why, because he didn’t say goodbye and no one will tell you anything. When you ask ’Nyra, she tells you she doesn’t “want to talk about him” and walks away with Alicent. You ask Brella, but she just says, “Not right now, Princess.”
You don’t ask Papa, because he is still grieving for Mama and baby Baelon. For you, that means he doesn’t want to tell you about anything at all. But whenever someone says Uncle’s name in front of him, he gets very, very angry and storms off with his boots making a lot of noise on the ground, so Uncle must have done something very naughty.
A big ceremony is happening today, though, which makes it harder to be sad that Uncle isn’t here. ’Nyra told you that Papa has decided to make her the heir, even though Uncle is supposed to be. Maybe that is why he left. It has been very busy in the Keep because everyone came for Mama and Baelon’s funeral, but they are being made to stay for the ceremony so that they can swear fealty to Papa and ’Nyra. And, for the first time ever, you have a special role, too.
“… promise to be—to be faith–faithful to King Viserys and his named heir, the Princess Rhae-nyra. I pledge fealty to them and shall def—defend them against all e-ne-mies in good faith and without de-ceit. I sw–swear this by the Old Gods and the New.”
Alicent claps, smiling. “Well done, Princess! Much better!”
’Nyra comes out from behind her screen wearing a pretty red dress, like the colour of the dragon with three heads on your House sigil. “Just try not to stutter so much, little sister.”
“Trying,” you say grumpily—the words are hard—but ’Nyra isn’t paying attention. Instead, she is looking into the mirror as Alicent helps her with the laces at the back, staring at herself in a way that doesn’t look very happy.
Alicent stops and hugs her. “You will be fine. This is what you were born for.”
“I wasn’t, though,” ’Nyra says, frowning. “Was I?”
They both go quiet, so you say, “You look very nice today.”
That makes ’Nyra smile, finally. “Thank you.”
It doesn’t take long for Alicent to finish lacing up her dress and helping her with her gold cape and jewels. When she is done, ’Nyra leaves the room and Alicent moves toward you so she can take your hand. “Come, Princess,” she says. “Let us walk to the Great Hall together.”
When you get there, the room is full of people. You wonder if every single lord and lady in the whole of Papa’s kingdom is here, all together in this one place. It is only because you are a princess that you don’t have to stand with all of them, and Alicent leads you over to Ser Harrold so that you can stay next to him by the Iron Throne. There is even a little chair just for you there, in case your legs get tired.
“Princess,” Ser Harrold says. His voice is funny, like a growl, and it makes you giggle every time you hear it. And, every time you giggle, he smiles, which makes all the wrinkles on his face deeper, which is even funnier. He does it again now.
A big bang at the door has everyone go very quiet.
“Presenting—Princess Rhaenyra of House Targaryen!”
No one speaks when ’Nyra comes through the doors all by herself, chin lifted straight up and walking down the middle of the two groups of people. Everyone stares at her, even Papa, and you think that it’s only right that they do because she looks so so pretty today. She curtseys to Papa at the bottom of the Throne, and then turns to face the people.
Without a word, Lord Corlys comes forward and kneels. “I, Corlys Velaryon, Lord of the Tides and Master of Driftmark, promise to be faithful to King Viserys and his named…”
You decide to sit in the chair while you wait. All the lords here have to say the same words you do when they pledge fealty, but you are going last because you’re the most important person to say it, which is what Alicent told you.
Lots of men and some ladies come up to the front to kneel and say the words to ’Nyra while Papa watches. It takes a long time, so you spend it looking around at all the different faces and dresses and coats that you can see. There are all sorts of things sewn onto the chests of people’s robes—you see a black stag on a yellow coat, a yellow lion on a red one, a grey wolf on a white one, a flower, a bird, even some boring ones like plain stripes or dots. Some of the ladies are wearing dresses that look very strange—the neck comes far far down so you can almost see some parts that are not proper for a lady to show. When those ones say the words, most of them are actually saying them while looking at Papa instead of ’Nyra, which is very rude because today is all about ’Nyra and not Papa. No one tries to make them stop, though, so maybe only you notice it.
When it is your turn, Ser Harrold taps you on the shoulder. All of a sudden, you feel very scared. So many people are looking at you now, and it makes you feel small and weak like you’re going to be smacked if you do anything.
But you must be brave. If Uncle were here, you’d want him to be proud of you.
You kneel in front of ’Nyra a little closer than everyone else did, but you think that no one will mind very much because you are her sister. Besides, your legs are feeling very shaky, and you might fall over if you have to go any further.
For a moment, the words won’t come out and you panic, but ’Nyra smiles. It is the only smile she has shown the whole time, and it’s just for you.
You find the words.
“I promise to be faith-ful to King Viserys and his named heir, the Princess Rhaenyra. I pledge fealty to them and shall defend them against all e-ne-mies in good faith and without… deceit. I swear this by the Old Gods and the New.”
You rise up, feeling like water is rushing in your ears, almost like it does whenever you have to take a bath. A sound like a heartbeat is all you can hear as you walk back to your spot, but you don’t sit down. ’Nyra said that you have to stay standing for the final part, the words that Papa has to say.
Your sister turns around to face the Iron Throne and bends her head to Papa. He says nothing.
Then, Papa stands, his sword Blackfyre in his hand and pointing down into the ground. “I, Viserys Targaryen, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm”—so many titles go after his name, you think, glad that you only have ‘the People’s Princess’ after yours—“do hereby name Rhaenyra Targaryen Princess of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne.”
Everyone bows their heads, so you do, too. When ’Nyra turns around, all the lords and ladies and knights and guards clap.
Beyond the noise in the hall, you think you can hear a dragon roar.
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sakasakiii · 1 month
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hi!!! how long does an average panel of one of your comics take??
i love your work so much!! it got me into silmblr hehe
HI NONNIE!!! thank u sooooso much for checking in and for ur lovely ask! it means a lot to hear that my silly ol scribbles were what introduced u to the glorious landscape that is the tolkien fandom! on tumblr no less!! i hope you stay a real long time, and have a blast while you're at it 💖💖
now onto your question! that's some good food for thought uhhhh i can try to estimate?? its been a while but i shld have some rough ideas abt each that i can share! the time frame each comic/panel takes is highly dependent on WHAT kind of comic it is. i hv two kinds of comics I usually do: 1) full-length, and 2) goofy/4koma.
i have a few full-length comics laying about in my archive, but my most recent one/best example is Ghosts which was around uh.... 7 pages excluding the bonus panels! in terms of the process, i usually divide it into 5 stages:
Drafting: this is either the fastest stage OR the slowest depending entirely whether i know what im doing LMAO,, if i have a set idea for what i want to happen, i might get drafts done in a few hours, but if i flounder, it can take a few days 🤔
Lineart: relatively simple enough once i hv the draft down, so id say anything ranging from an hour to half a day if theres nothing else going on irl
Block colouring (main actors): there are DEFINITELY easier and more professional ways to do this with mass-selection and the lasso fill/bucket tool, but idk how to do that on SAI (my art program) so i colour everything by hand HAHA which makes the process longer.... half a day to a day?
Shading: THE WORST!!! definintely my least favourite bc i find it tedious due to all the details/prettification of elves that i am legally obliged to pour into this stage 😭😭 as a result, it can take days!!!
Background + Lighting + Final Rendering: similar to the previous stage haha it just depends on how much effort i wanna put into the final product looking nice. roughly a few days? it kind of meshes with stage 4 anyways haha
just for fun, i hope this process gif for page 6 can illustrate that 👇
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these are just rough estimates, bc all in all, the time it takes so finish a page is really dependent on how free I am hahaha. Also, I usually work on full-length comics like Ghost which have more than one page all at once, which means I drafted all 7 pages at once, then did the lineart for all 7 pages at once, coloured at once, shaded rendered bla bla bla 😚 iirc, i think it took me 11 days in total to finish Ghosts before the end of June last year!
For goofy/4-koma, its usually just one page with less detailed/more cartoonish/chibi character styles so it takes a day or two days at most! again, it all boils down to how free i am hehe
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YEAH SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING AN INFO DUMP but thank you so much again for asking and letting me ramble! <3 i ended up having a lot of fun looking back on my drafts n thinking back on my processes.... theres defininitely room for improvement, but thats another worry for another day heheh 😎
52 notes · View notes
kthyg · 1 year
Text
ghoul. — (rhapsodies)
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[SPECIAL INSTALMENT: (CHRISTMAS) RHAPSODIES]
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pairing: ot7 x reader
rating: 13+
genre: tokyo ghoul au, soulmate au, fluff
disclaimer: this story is a work of fiction. descriptions of the BTS members in this story does not reflect nor portray them in real life. everything in this story only fits in imagination and does not apply outside of imagination.
warning: nothing much, just; domestic yoongi, domestic jin, lots of soft kisses, hugging, an emotional and sentimental moment with yoongi and his first love, cannibalism joke (just once from tae). japanese terms of endearment are used in this by jin and tae.
word count:
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lexicon & profiles | masterpost | masterlist | navigation
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note from winter 💌:
this is my first christmas fic - yeayy!! also this is just my poor excuse to be extra emotional and sentimental idk idk i want to give a nice scene for my ghoul babies bcs ik they wont hv a nice scene for some time in normal ver ha ah ha ah…
this instalment is the softest I've ever written...
its been a long time since I write a story based on a song. the last time was winter flower by younha ft rm, a story about a girl healing from depression but reached a point where she couldn't handle it anymore, suddenly wanting to end everything. it was a open ending story tho :) anddd now rhapsodies joins as the second story that is based on a song.
also, just a friendly reminder that rhapsodies is not sharing the same timeline as the released chapters of ghoul. if possible, its a future story but whatever information (such as relationship, places, etc...) in this instalment is valid for the alt story and main story :D
ok so i don’t really celebrate christmas but i think i kind of know the feeling (not 100% because i would love to celebrate holiday season with snow ;-;) because i have gone through it with my maternal relatives - i joined them during 2019’s christmas! 🫶🏻
I HOPE IT ISNT TOO LATE FOR A CHRISTMAS GIFT 🥹 (be nice w me this is the first time i've ever written a full fluff)
💌 what is winter listening to? : first love by bts (suga) & piano ver by smyang piano, first love by hikaru utada, christmas tree by v, my dearest by amalee (original by supercell).
📝 if you want to know more about this au, you can refer to lexicon & profiles. any other questions you can refer to me !!
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dedication: to my first love.
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              Snow has been falling for days now, piling into a thick layer of what looked like shaved ice on almost everything. It was a special evening today; your squad, the Q squad was preparing to celebrate Christmas. You and Yoongi had invited the others; Taehyung, Jungkook, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin – your and Yoongi's soulmates, - Rosé, Mingyu, Minghao and Sunoo.
              You sat comfortably and warmly in the company of the fireplace and your members, Jisoo, and Lisa, as the three of you decorated the Christmas tree. The pine tree that stood mightily in front of you was a real deal, all thanks to Namjoon.
              When you told him you have always celebrated with the artificial one with your loyal friend, Somi, during your days in the Jeon Quarter, he immediately told you he would buy the real one just for you. He had done the same thing for Jungkook back then because unlike you, Jungkook couldn't even celebrate the festive season during his childhood.
              You could've disagreed and told him to get the artificial one, but all your soulmates agreed with Namjoon before you could even voice your opinion and defeatedly accepted his decision. You couldn't stop him from doing things his way – The strong-headed Kim Namjoon.
              The crackling fire sound was soothing to your ears. The warmth of the fire was very inviting for you to jump to the couch and wrap yourself with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate providing extra warmth in your palm.
              Curling into a ball, basking in the heavenly warmth on this cold day; you could always do that any other time. As you and your friends decorated the tree in meaningful silence, the doorbell rang, disrupting the silence.
              "Can someone go get the door?" Jin yelled out the request from the kitchen.
              Jisoo immediately got on her feet as she volunteered with a cheery smile, "On it!" But her smile was quick to fade once she reached the door and opened it as she mumbled in a boring tone. "Oh, it's you…"
              Greeting with an equally boring tone, "Save the disappointment for another day, 'lil sis," Taehyung rolled his eyes. "I'm here for my lovers anyways."
              "Who's at the door, Soo-ya?" You asked, making your way towards the door. Once you've seen the invited guest, you beamed, "Oh–! Hi, V."
              "Hi, hime," he opened his arms as an invitation for you to slot in and you did. He smooched the crown of your head lovingly as the lovely nickname spilt from his lips warmed your cheeks.
              "Come in," you broke the hug and ushered him to step in. "Jin's in the kitchen preparing food for tonight, and Yoongi's in his room."
              "(Y/N)!" Jin called for you. "Can you help me here?"
              "Be there in a second!" You responded and turned back to your soulmate with a welcoming smile, you told him, "Make yourself at home, Tae."
              Once you were completely out of their vision, the silence was loud, "Don't get too comfortable," Jisoo narrowed her eyes at her brother.
              "Stop being so hostile," he sighed deeply. "It's Christmas, for God's sake."
              "Hostility is subjective," she retorted.
              "It will be objective today or I'll have your half-human flesh as dinner tonight."
              "Obscene!" She gasped out loud as her hand reached out to slap Taehyung's shoulder, offended.
              "Jisoo, the Christmas tree isn't going to decorate itself!" Lisa shouted from the living room.
              "Of course it won't, Lisa!" She huffed but obliged either way as she turned towards to living room, continuing decorating the Christmas tree.
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              The kitchen was filled with the heavenly and divine smell of delicious meals being cooked. Jin multitasked his way through the kitchen since the afternoon. Yoongi has been helping him but he retreated to his room after some time now.
              "Hey, kareshi," your arms snaked around his waist as you hugged him from the back, chin resting on his shoulder as you asked, "What do you need help with?"
              "Hello, kanojo," his thumb brushed across the skin of your hand that was wrapped around his waist lovingly and softly. "Who was that?"
              "It's Taehyung," you told him.
              "He's early," he mused to himself. He turned around to face you as he rested his arms on your shoulders, lazily slinging them around you. "Can you help me with the chicken?"
              "Of course," you smiled.
              Jin lowered his face, killing the distance between your face and his as he placed a quick kiss on your lips. It was a short moment of two lips having contacted but the heat still flared up to your cheeks and your stomach filled with butterflies.
              "It won't be long; you can check on Yoongi in his room after you're done."
You stifled a giggle with a frown, "I didn't even tell you I was going to check on him."
"Soulmate instinct," he winked at you and stole yet another kiss from you. This time he remained a bit longer. No tongues were involved as it was purely lips-to-lips interaction but were enough to be a very meaningful kiss.
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              A frown on his temple, fingers cupping his chin as Jungkook pondered. He and Namjoon were on their way to Yoongi's squad apartment but decided to stop by the 5th ward mall because Jungkook decided to buy a present for you. He knew you had told all of them to not buy you anything, but he was never the one to listen, so here he was. 
"What should I give (Y/N) for Christmas?" Jungkook asked his companion as they walked into the mall. The mall was decorated with Christmas lights, trees, and all other related decorations. The branded stores also decorated up to the session and released brand new items to fit into the festive session.
              "A lingerie?" Namjoon suggested mindlessly.
              "What the fuck, hyung." Again, a deep frown found its place on Jungkook's forehead at his soulmate's idea.
              "It's a suggestion." He shrugged.
              "Well, what do I buy her lingerie for?" The younger cast cursory glances at the stores. Feet had their own mind as Jungkook walked to wherever his feet took him, and Namjoon followed suit.
              Having a late realisation, Jungkook's eyes widened, "Are you hinting I should fuck her tonight? At Yoongi's apartment?"
              Namjoon gave his soulmate a side glance, "Not a bad idea?" then he shrugged, "I would prefer calling it love making though, since it's Christmas."
              Jungkook let silence be the language between them as they continued to stroll around the mall until there was nothing to be explored but as if the brain had relied on the conversation they just shared, their feet stopped in front of a lingerie store.
              "Maybe it's not a bad idea after all."
              "Told you." And Namjoon walked into the store with Jungkook trailing behind.
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              "Jimin put that down."
              Hoseok's deep voice burst Jimin's little bubble of fantasy as he glared at the younger. "What? Hyung, no," he flashed his soulmate the white fluffy tail butt plug and a pair of white fur cat ears. "This is cute!"
              The other only gave him a dirty look, "You're just kinky."
              Jimin had heard that almost every time, he was shameless and immune to it. 'Kinky' has probably become a compliment for him now. He would be more than proud if someone called him so.
              "You would like it if it's on (Y/N)," you would definitely look cute in this, no doubt.
              The tail-like butt plug inserted in your arsehole, leaving your pussy dripping with wetness, and the cute cat ears to match the tail. You'd look so pliant and submissive, and with that costume, it would give an extra hardness, extra adrenaline rush, blood rush down to their cocks–
              "Or unless you'd like it on you?"
              Flabbergasted, heat rushed to Hoseok's face both from embarrassment (for thinking about you in a public setting and popping a boner) and humiliation (from Jimin's sexual innuendo), "Hah – whatthefuck, shut up Jimin!"
              "That's what I thought," he has a smug grin tugging on his lips.
              "Thank you for purchasing!"
              What.
              "Jimin!" No way he actually bought it.
              Well, you'd look cute either way.
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              Yoongi wasn't in his room.
              And when that happened, he could only be in one place. You stood in front of the door – the door to the space where he found solace at any time given.
              You have been in there with him occasionally. The two of you would sit in silence, content with just the presence of each other as the bright stars in the dark sky became the only source of entertainment most of the time you and him were in the room.
              On rare occasions, Yoongi would sit on the brown piano, you next to him and play you a piece that never told you the name of it even when you had asked about it. He would brush the question away with a kiss on your temple and the same word "Untitled".
              And right before you, the sound of the 'Untitled' piece was playing. Your hand reached to knock on the door, "Yoongi?"
              "Kitten," his voice was mellow as he answered you. "Come in."
              Stepping in, you took in your surroundings. It was the same as when you last saw it. There wasn't much to keep a tab on the room except for the brown piano that settled on one side of the corner, the only furniture in this spacious room of nostalgia – as Yoongi would call it.  "What are you doing here alone?"
              "I'm not alone," he told you. He was sitting on the piano stool as his fingers rested in between the keys. "I'm with my first love." He looked at the piano fondly before he brought his gaze to you with equal, or if could, greater fondness.
              "First love?" You asked as you approached him. The room was dark with no source of light except for the sun outside. The sun was slipping, creating a glorious conflagration that blazed fiery colours. They appeared silky, smooth combinations of red, yellow, and blue in the sky that illuminated the room, colouring it like the sky.
              "The piano," his hand reached out to take yours in his, guiding you towards the seat next to him. "The first thing I learn to love."
              Placing your fingers delicately on the piano keys, you pressed the keys of Yoongi's favourite piece, the one he named 'Untitled'. You didn't play it until the end although you did remember the whole piece just from listening to him playing it. Reaching the last note of the piece, your fingers retreated from the keys. "Do you want to tell me about your first love story?"
              Your voice has always been so soft, delicate, and mellow. Who was Yoongi to reject your request? Maybe it was the time you knew the meaning behind the piece you had just played that you learned by heart from him. Chuckling, his fingers started to move around the keys as he silently answered your request.
              "From the corner of my memory, in the corner of my childhood house," fingers leisurely hit the keys. "A piano was there."
              "Hmm?" Your fingers joined his on the keys, as you played to harmonise with him. "What colour was it?"
              "Brown," he breathed out. "A brown piano settled on one side."
              He continued, "I remember that moment, where I was barely any taller than the brown piano. I looked up to it, because of my height but also because I was in awe. I yearned for it the moment I had touched it my little fingers."
              "It felt nice, I told my mom." His fingers pressed on the last notes before changing to another key. "I was content. Just from looking at it. It felt so nice that I played, however, my fingers wanted and even then, I still didn't know its significance."
              "It's nice that you know your first love even as a child."
              "What's your first love, kitten?" He asked, fingers still on the keys.
              Yours too, on the white jade-like keys, as you answered him, eyes closed. "Us."
              You continued, "I didn't understand the concept of first love back then, but my parents could easily be my first love, but I know I love them from the moment I was brought to this world. I didn't learn to love them because by default, I have already loved them. They were my unconditional love."
              Your fingers paused mid-air, "First love," resumed, "It can be interpreted in many ways,"
              The first time you learn how to truly love,
              The first time you love,
              The first time you felt truly loved,
              The first time you are loved,
              The first time experiencing the true definition of love.
              "But it will always have the same impact; unforgettable and irreplaceable."
              "True," Yoongi agreed softly, the soulful melody still filling the room.
              The mellow sound that came from the graceful movements of Yoongi's fingers on the piano continued to become honey to your ears. Your fingers were now placed on your lap as you let your lover play the black and whites on his own.
              You turned to look at him, to take in his beautiful side profile. His skin was glowing. His eyes were closed as he focused on letting his digits work their wonders on the eighty-eight.
              He looked stunning.
              Sometimes, less was more, and you didn't need to elaborate more on Yoongi's majestic presence.
              Ethereal.
              "First love isn't always sunshine and rainbows," he told you once he finally opened his eyes, his fingers had stopped, leaving the last note he had pressed echoing around the room. "Back then during my elementary school days, I remember, I was finally taller than the piano."
              "But dust was piling on top of the white jade-like keys. I neglected it when I yearned for it so much. I still failed to see its significance," his fingers were like a feather as he ghosted his fingertips on the keys.
  ��           Melancholy as he continued, "Until a day came that marked the last day of the piano."
              "Don't feel sorry for not recognising the significance or recognising it late," you told him.
              Your fingers raised in the air and were softly placed on the right keys as you pressed. Fingers had their own mind as they danced on the black and whites, continuing where he had left. "Don't worry even if I leave. You will do well on your own. Though it is an end to our relationship, greet me happily when we meet again, no matter in what form."
              Yoongi looked at you with acute nostalgia. One hand of yours left the bar of whites and blacks as you reached for his hand, "Let's give a proper greeting to your first love."
The brown piano that stood mightily in front of you was the exact brand of piano Yoongi had back then. It might not be the original form of his first love, but in whatever form a piano could be, it will still be the first love of Yoongi.
              "Let's finish this piece together."
              Even though I was gone for a long time,
              Without repulsion,
              You accepted me.
              His fingers picked up where they had left as he confessed, "You may not be my first love, but you and the others will always be my eternal love. The people I loved, love and will love for eternity."
              Even when I pushed you away,
              Even when I resented meeting you,
              You were firmly by my side.
              "I wish to love you the way of my first love, I want to love you every day."
              So don't ever let go of my hand.
              I won't let you go ever again either.
              "If there comes a day where we have to end everything the eight of us share, I wish to continue loving you, every day until my days end."
              The two of you hit the last keys, and as if feathers, fingers were lifted slowly and smoothly from the keys. The piece came to an end. It came to a meaningful end. An end that filled with so many emotions. Conflicted at first but harmonised in the end.
              "I love you, (Y/N)."
              "I love you too, with all of me."
              The sun slipped completely away from the horizon as the light on the sky was then replaced with clouds of dust of bright, shining stars;
              A kiss sealed the vow.
              The food was almost done by the time you entered the kitchen with Yoongi. Jin was preparing the plates and utensils along with the dishes to be put on the table with the help of his younger sister and Lisa. You and Yoongi joined them to help but Jin shook his head and said that everything was almost done and asked the two of you to accompany Taehyung into the living room.
              When your feet strode towards the living room, the doorbell suddenly rang again, making you halt in your steps along with Yoongi as you looked at him, "I think that's the remaining guests," you motioned him to sit with Taehyung as you walked towards the door. "Let me get the door."
              Once you twisted the doorknob to open, you were greeted with two figures, both having muscular build and cute faces, carrying almost the same aura had you not known these guys like the back of your hand.
              Namjoon was the first to greet you as he pulled you into a hug, "Merry Christmas, princess," he kissed your cheeks before going for your lips. You savoured the feeling of his plush lips on yours.
              He pulled back and said, "Apologies for our delay."
              Jungkook was quick to lock you into a tight hug and cradle your head in his arms. You returned his hug with equal enthusiasm before replying to Namjoon, "No, don't worry. You guys are not late at all," you broke the hug, much to Jungkook's displeasure as he whined at the loss of warm contact.
              "Plus, Jinnie just finished cooking," you added.
              The sound of a car's nearing the neighbourhood made Jungkook whip his head towards that direction. Recognising the car and the wild skill of driving (no value for both life and the car; Jimin), he said, "I think that's Jimin and Hoseok."
              The three of you watched as Jimin safely and perfectly parallel-parked his car next to Taehyung's. Hoseok got out of the car and appeared to be nagging about something as his mouth danced at a fast pace with a frown etched on his forehead.
              Probably nagging at Jimin, again, for his reckless driving.
              When Hoseok neared the entrance where you, Namjoon, and Jungkook stood, his eyes shone with bright felicity as he waved enthusiastically in your direction. His lips could practically be seen as a lovely heart shape with perfectly aligned teeth to complement his charming look.
              "My lady," He reached for your hand to kiss your knuckles. "Hello, lovely ladybug."
              "Hello, Hobi," you gave his cheek a quick peck before he moved on to greet his other soulmates with the same gesture.
              "Doll," Jimin was like a wind as one second, he was right behind Hoseok and the next second, he was already in front of you while his arms snaked around your waist, locking them to leave no room for space between you and him. His nose caressed yours before his pillowy lips lowered down to seal a kiss with your lips.
              Pulling away at a small distance, breath mingled with his as you wished him, "Merry Christmas, prince charming," and he took your lips on his again. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.
              After some moment, you pulled away – because you knew he wouldn't – to let him greet his other soulmates. Just like Hoseok, Jimin was a fair and equal person as he kissed the others as well. When you thought no one else was coming, a female figure was approaching, and it was a figure you knew so well.
              "Rosie, my favourite flower!" You ran towards her with a gleeful smile. Arms opened as an invitation for her to intertwine and exchange body heat with you.
              Finally reaching you, she wrapped you with her winter coat, "(Y/N), my favourite person!"
              "You walked here?"
              She nodded, "The distance between R squad house and Q's is not that far, you know that!"
              Giggling, you broke the hug and walked her towards the door where all your soulmates have been watching your interaction with Jimin's younger sister. Once you reached them, Jimin snatched– pulled you to his side – to which Rosie rolled her eyes at her brother's unspoken possessive act.
              "Ahem," a voice interrupted.
              "Gyu!" A gasp escaped your throat once your eyes landed on the newcomer – or newcomers, plural because he wasn't alone. "I thought you wouldn't come."
              Another figure approached your crowd, and you couldn't help but smile once you saw who it was. It has been so long since you've seen them because Gyu's squad was assigned to a mission in China. Minghao reached out to you for a greeting hug as jested on his soulmate, "He? Wouldn't come? He was literally so excited when you sent us the invitation."
              "Of course, I would come, lotus," Mingyu rolled his eyes at him and come to join your hug with Minghao. "I'm your life-time partner."
              "We are partners," Minghao italicised. He then directed his full attention on you as he nuzzled his face in your neck. "I miss you, dainty lotus." Although the hug didn't last long because you were pulled away by none other than Jimin. Minghao was bewildered at the sudden loss of warmth, but Rosie patted his shoulder with a shake of her head, "Don't mind it."
              Another voice entered the scene with sassiness, "Are you guys done yet?"
              Sunoo walked to the door of the house. He had arrived shortly after Taehyung and helped Jin in the kitchen. He crossed his arms as he said, "Close the door because it's so freaking cold outside."
              "Jeez, Sunoo," Minghao slung his arms around the younger's shoulders. "Cut that sassiness, it's Christmas!"
              Rosé jumped on the duo cheerfully, "Right? Chill a bit," she said with a light tone.
              "I am chill," he slapped Minghao's chest playfully. "Just close the door and get it you guys. It's freezing outside."
              You chuckled before urging them to get warm inside. Jimin was still by your side as all of them walked towards the living room until he saw Taehyung on the couch. All your soulmates that have just newly come immediately greeted him. Jimin hogged him and smothered him with kisses on the face and one deep kiss on the lips. You watched the duo fondly. The eight of you might have shared a deep bond but maybe Jimin and Taehyung shared an even deeper bond with each other, and you admired it.
              You saw Yoongi already making his way towards you and with expectant arms, you welcomed him into your embrace as he slotted in perfectly by your side. It brought back old memories where you had always thought Yoongi was a person that hates physical touch, though it was true to an extent because he was only touchy with his soulmates and especially with you but loathed having skin contact even the slightest with other than listed.
              "Merry Christmas, guys," Jin walked into the living space as he greeted them one by one including your friends. The apron that he has been stuck with has finally been removed from his body and his clothes have changed. "Let's eat before the food gets cold."
              You let yourself be situated in between Namjoon and Hoseok at the dining table and enjoyed the food Jin had cooked with so much love – helped by your members and Sunoo as well – The room was filled with chatter and laughter as the food goes down into everyone's stomach. They went from KCCG matters, as you asked Mingyu and Minghao about their mission in China – you knew they wouldn't have a difficult time in China given that Minghao knew the way around the country – to some random topic to not let an awkward silence fill in the room.
              Before Christmas, all of them including you had made an astounding achievement that you would like to consider this Christmas celebration as a celebration not just for the festive season but also for them. Rosé and Tae's squads joined hands in the 2nd Wipe Out Operation conducted by Namjoon, S2 Squad; you, Jimin, Jungkook, Jin and Yoongi, was successful during the Owl Suppression Operation that was led by Hoseok, and the latest; Mingyu and Minghao's mission in China.
              It has been a tough, hectic weeks, but everything was successful and everyone was safe as they returned in one piece. You were glad your soulmates were willing to celebrate Christmas along with your friends – especially Mingyu and Minghao. You knew your soulmates would very much want to celebrate this festive season with the company of eight, and that was why you were glad they had agreed to celebrate it together.
              Also given that it was the first Christmas you got to celebrate with your soulmates.
              The first Christmas where you get to celebrate with your loved ones, your first love.
              The first Christmas you get to create lots of memorable memories with your loved ones.
              It was the very first true Christmas you celebrated after your parents' death.
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All rights reserved © 2022 kthyg. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost without permission. Feedback is very much appreciated. It keeps me motivated! Send me an ask !!
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146 notes · View notes
radicaldadood · 2 years
Text
A Good Listener
Pairing: 2003!Leo x GN!Reader (relationship not established/crush)
Summary: Leo come by to your apartment to vent.
Genre: Angst with good ending. Fluff. Unrequited love?
A/n: tis is my first tmnt oneshot, been binging 2k3 tmnt and tis idea came in. Sorry for any grammar error, not a native eng speaker here. I put colour code at the dialogues cuz i heard some ppl actually hv problem with these so as usual Leo is blue while reader is green. Enjoy! (Also I didn't expect it to be long-)
Masterlist
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Tonight was quiet as always except the buzzing street on the city of New York. You were in the kitchen making some midnight snacks but apparently your stomach said it wasn't enough so here you are, cooking your favorite meal.
The music you put on full volume from your phone filled in your apartment, but not too loud to disturb the neighbours. You swayed your hips and bopped your head at the rhythms, occupying yourself to erase your boredom.
Meanwhile a certain turtle in blue landed on the fire escape outside your window.
He peaked inside the window to look around for you, only to get a clear sight of you jabbing your invisible opponent with your spoon. He smiled to himself.
He then knocked the window to get your attention. Which you did immediately as you stopped your antic and rushed to the window, spoon still in hand.
You open the window and greeted him, "Hey." "Hey." he greeted back. You two stood there for like a couple second, looking at anywhere but at each other.
Leaning your arm to the window to balance yourself. "You.. saw nothing... right?" you spoke slowly. "Except seing you battling ghosts with your 'weapon' I guess not. Need help with that?" He teased, pointing at your hand. You look at the spoon then back at him and pulled a smirked, decided to play along, "Nah, I got it covered. With my superior weapon I shall defeat these ghost thyself." Pretending to stand straight and hold your 'weapon' to your chest. He chuckled at your behavior. You joined him then stepping backwards for him to come in.
You close the window before you and went back to the kitchen with Leo behind you. "Smells nice." He commented. "Yeah, I'm stress eating." You half joked.
You went back doing whatever you were making as you both continue to chat, "So, how things going?" "Fine, actually. Me and the boys just done with patrol. Figured I could stop by and hang with you for a bit. Hope that's okay with you." Your head turned at his direction, "Dude, I literally just let you in. Don't take too much pressure, you know you guys are always welcome." "Yeah, just making sure..." his voice trailed off while looking around your apartment.
You however seem to notice, as he sit there quietly at the dining table fidgeting his fingers while trying to think of another topic. But before he could open his mouth you beat him to it.
"Hey... You okay?... Did something happen back there?... Anything that still bothers you now?" You said above whisper. Letting him know that you're not pressuring him to spill it all out on you. "Well, I..." he started.
Not turning around, your back facing him as you waited for his response. Then you heard him sighed.
"Just now... we- I had an argument with my brothers." You nodded as he stopped to think of the right sentence. "Nobody's hurt badly but... well maybe in the inside as some would say." Nodding again, agreed at his words. "It started off with Raph ignoring my plan and orders so he just went off on his own. Apparently his plan was convinced by Donnie and Mikey better. Thought that mine was a booger." Your silently chuckled at his choice of word but quickly turn back to serious mode.
"I followed them of course. Nothing went badly. We kicked butts and save the day, thanks to Raph I suppose. But I couldn't just somewhat let his decision slide y'know? He could've got hurt. Donnie and Mikey could've got hurt and it will be my fault!" he accidentally raised his voice at the last sentence. He cleared his throat and mumbled a 'sorry'. You let out a soft 'it's okay' and gestured him to continue.
"When we were on our way Raph ignored me again when I called out his name. I yelled at him for his sudden actions and told him the consequences if things went downhill. He didn't budge. Said that they all would've been better off without me. I tried to prove him wrong but I thought... would I really wanna do that? Would I actually risk that to happen just for some silly disagreement?... Eventually, I gave up. Saying maybe he was right after all and so... they all went home and here I am." Finally looking up from his hands to face you as he finished.
Now, leaning on the stove that already turned off, food completely abandoned. You looked at him with a worried face while having your arms crossed.
Before silent could take over he spoke immediately, "S-sorry! I didn't mean to give you such burden to hear about my problems. I know that you already got too much to handle with your lives and-" "Hey". He stopped when you cut him off.
"You came here, from my window, sitting on my table and have the balls to worry about my life..." He froze on his spot, confused at your sudden stern voice as you make your way around the table to get closer at him. He gulped when you stopped just few inches in front of him.
Then what you did took him by surprise. You threw your arms around him and pulled him into a tight yet gentle embrace. "...don't you dare apologize." His eyes widened but immediately returned the action as he close his eyes and let his body relaxed in your arms.
You rubbed his shell while closing your eyes as well. Man, you both could stay like this forever. If only any of you knew...
He left out a tired sigh, still not pushing you away. Neither did you so you hold each other, waited for him to say anything.
"Don't get me wrong, I love each one of them. Raph, Donnie, Mikey. I love my brothers. And Master Splinter. I also love April and Casey. And I love you... so much. You guys are my family." You could feel him tightened the embrace, squeezing you as if afraid of letting you go. Which is true in his case.
You gave him an assuring pat, "I love you too, man." More than friends is what you were going to add but you didn't let your intrusive thought win. Not tonight at least. "And we all love you. So much. Our world means nothing without our great leader. Without our Leonardo. We needed each other. You don't have to give up so easily. But that doesn't mean you can't take a break, you hear me?" You feel him nod on your shoulder.
"I tell you what? Tonight is an honorable night to me. Wanna know why?" You jerked your head a bit. "Why?" he asked back. "Because he who seek help actually comes for help and gets it! And I thanked you for that. For sharing everything with me. For.. trusting me. It means a lot." Your voice turned from stern to soft at each sentence.
"No."
You suddenly let out a soft gasped as he pulled away from the embrace, allow you to look at him, but didn't completely let you go.
"I'm the one who should have thank you, (Y/N). It's not easy to find someone who would just listen to all of my burdens. Not just to borrow a pair of ears but also to have a really good friend. You're a good listener. And I'm glad to know you. So again, I thank you for that."
Not wasting another second, you launched yourself back at him. Hopefully failing to see your almost teary eye. He gladly hugged you again then spoke, "Are you crying?" Nevermind that. You sniffed, "Nah, I'm fine. How are you?" He chuckled, "I'm feeling great, thank you." and give you another loving squeeze.
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hxlda-hxlda · 2 months
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Um hi! I reader your post which said let's be in a book club (if u remember) it js talked sm to me, I had to find out more abt u,,, so go on tell me abt urself pleaseeeeeee, Also I hv nvr read ur fanfics, m gonna start this ver moment
hello!! welcome!!
a) yes! i do remember the bookclub post, because it turned into a discord server that is just full of the loveliest people. if you want to be a part of our little club the link is here :))
b) as for me, i'll give you my little run down:
my name is harper! i'm australian. the love of my life is rock music and too-loud concerts, only second to my ancient pet rabbit. i make how much music i listen to my main personality trait, so ask me about an artist and you'll get their whole biography. i also love the outdoors, so plenty of beach-ing and hiking and all sorts when i can find the time between my multiple jobs and my writing addiction. eventually i hope to study literature and really up my intellectual superiority complex with overkill knowledge on niche music AND classics. for now, i work to save to travel and see the world outside my little aussie corner.
as for my fics! on a good day i like to think i'm pretty funny and occasionally i'll write something that i feel is profound (if you squint). according to those i share my writing with, i'm good at causing devastation with my angst. i take this as a massive compliment. really, i just like to write character studies and explore different relationship dynamics (both romantic and platonic) in different settings. i am far too concerned abt pacing when it comes to my writing, and i will use the 'no, i'm sirius,' joke until it is as dead in the ground as sirius black himself.
i hope you enjoy reading!! leave me a comment if you do, notifs in my inbox are my favourite things ever. thank you for asking about me, and feel free to tell me about yourself.
sending love and a nice sunrise/set your way, harp x
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mirzamsaiph · 7 months
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Hi
for your reading the books series will you be including Percy Jackson's Greek gods
:) just curious
thank you hv a nice day
I don’t know! The only thing I know for sure is it will be the first and second series. I really would like to include the sun and the stars but it would require me to do trials of Apollo too.
Then the short stories and Percy Jackson Greek Gods and Greek hero’s are something I think would be nice but not something I’m positive im going to do.
I also want to do Chailce of the gods, but doing all of that would take me like 4-5 years so it’s definitely something I’ll have to think on.
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moondirti · 8 months
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hi i just found animalic down my dash n holy fuck i have never seen such pretty writing
i'm so baffled n in awe w ur style n vocab n the symbolisms u use, like, it's making my head spin while also like, idk, hypnotizing me or sth?????? i literally don't know, i'm just so speechless by ur writing style u might just get me to start trying to write again bc i've been suffering from my worst block ever fr
ur usage of symbolisms n metaphors and how u describe things is just so like, UGH MY GODDDD—my only comparison to that is like, when painters splatter paint on their canvas messily but in a way that they know exactly what they're doing so it's like a strategic mess but it's not a mess at all it's like something so polished n eloquent or sth i literally don't know i want ur vocabulary so bad bc then maybe i could start to properly describe just how absolutely amazing ur writing style is
anyw i would go on but i think i should stare at the blank page on my notes to force myself to write bc u've inspired me n i may be anonymous but just so yk i will not disappoint u mother i will bring pride n joy and hopefully spawn miggy blurbs—or i could just study anything u've written bc once again u hv inspired me and i need to relearn how to write bc i'm so rusty
but yes so basically i love ur writing style i love miggy n i may be agnostic-ish but i want to seek any one god just to be able to have someone to thank for the miracle that is u n ur talent n the fact that life has led u to write bars on bars of shimmery golden poetry for a hot hunk of fictional irish-mexican man—like u hv no idea how grateful i am to hv found animalic i would like to absorb any body of writing u hv made ever
anyw i think that's it yes um
soz for long ask n if this is a bit annoying🧍‍♂️(ily)
if you pay really close attention, you can hear me sobbing thro the screen
i woke up yesterday, as always, so excited to read everyone's thoughts on the new chapter. and what a delight it was to find this lovely lovely message in my inbox. goodness, anon, you've no idea how happy this made me. i was a mess all day, grinning ear to ear and unable to focus on anything other than your kind words.
fuck, i'm so glad my writing was able to inspire something within you. oftentimes it feels like i'm spewing out barely coherent sentences, isolated on my laptop, so it's such a nice reminder hearing how it goes on to affect people. hardly any of it is intentional, and that should reassure you if anything. humans are so good at making happy accidents. don't let your fear of your work not turning out the way you want hold you back – i believe in you! you can do it! write and surprise yourself, and remember there will always be people supporting you every step of the way
and never EVER apologise for sending long asks<3 nothing means more to me than you guys and i always delight in hearing your thoughts. i hope you're able to start writing again, and perhaps share it with me when you're ready xx
mwah mwah. thank you so much
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jaylaxies · 1 year
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hihi Aria! I'm tryna find this one fic, where Jay and the reader recently got engaged, but they had a huge argument which resulted the reader to remove their ring.. the argument was about Jay being so oblivious to this one girl who kept clinging onto him during events and other places. but reality, he was just oblivious because he only had eyes for the reader, so he didn't care for his surroundings. there's like 5 parts of the story?? I really really wanna reread it but I can't find it anymore 😭😭 do you hve any clue? and thank you for taking your time to read this, hv a nice day!!
i have no clue but that sounds so amazing omg?? please help anonnie if anyone knows about this fic! :3
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mitamicah · 4 months
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how many tattoos do u hv? what are they? what do they mean? gimme a tattoo tour i wanna knoooow
Hi Charlie ^V^
It'll be a very short tattoo tour (I say knowing full well I'll take forever explaining everything about those dang doodles on my skin :'D xD). Here it is :3
I have two tattoos :3 this picture show them pretty nicely :D
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The first tattoo I got is the one on my shoulder (I got it back in March):
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It's Flapjack from the Owl House holding a brush in his mouth - a concept I commissioned my good friend @isi-daddy to draw last November ^V^
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So the story about this one is both complicated and simple: My grandmother passed away last year around October 17, two days after the season 3 premiere Thanks to Them premiered. I am not sure if you have watched this series and/or don't mind spoilers but let's just say that this red cardinal made an impact on me that was only solitified when my grandmother passed. My mind begun to link her and Flapjack so she kind of got a spirit bird with her to the afterlife. And so I decided that I wanted Flapjack as my first tattoo :'D later I learned that there's an american folklore saying that if you see a red cardinal (the species Flapjack is) when you've lost somebody it is your loved one visiting you - and so I accidentally now have my grandmother with me all the time in form of a cardinal on my arm :'D the brush ... it's a silly story I have of my grandmother accidentally hitting out a tooth from my mouth with a hairbrush when she tried to help me brush my hair when I was younger x'D
My second and to date most recent tattoo is from October ^V^ It's on my left lower arm:
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It's the old nurse run Ansuz which is said to be Odin's rune and the rune for wisdom, inspiration, language, communication, mental stability and music amongst other things (all meanings here)
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I have wanted this tattoo for a while (12 years) and it has quite a lot of meaning not only what I've aleady mentioned. It also refer to my heritage as a nordic person, my love for mythology and the possibly most nerdy meaning of them all ... it's an old 'A' so to me it also symbolizes my autism, asexuality and aromanticsm x'D
I chose the font so it would sort of resemble the font that käärijä, the finnish rapper I'm obsessed with, uses for his logo:
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This is because I got the tattoo only two days after seeing Käärijä live in the same city (Berlin) :3
So yeah I don't have a lot of tattoos but I make up for it in meaning x'D
I have lots of ideas however the three most clear ideas being the post-op chest tattoo (x), the concept of the three birds (x), and the paidaton riehuja 'whatever' shirt-flag (x) :3
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wondernus · 1 year
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Hii!! Soo i am a fan of your works hehe..
I just wondering if you maybe, still remember about the ending for package received?
Im sorry i just love your package delivered smau so much and i've been reading it again for like nth times. And i fully understood about your decision to not continue the story.. i just wonder if you still remember the ending and if you want to share it🥹
BUT im not force you anything!! Only if you want and if you have time<3
Anw, Thank you so much for make such a good smau, i kept reread it bcs it sooo good!! I love your works<33 hv a nice day, ily<33
hi anon! yes, I do remember the ending to package received. I know that it's been a few years since package delivered and I said that I was eventually going to do a short recap of what was going to happen in package received, but I honestly never got to it.
if you guys still want, I can still post the entire plot to package received sometime after I'm done writing my thesis proposal draft this week. but I am hesitant that the outcome may change readers' perception of package delivered even though I am fine with sharing it.
but thank you anon for being so kind and understanding <33 I hope you have a wonderful day.
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charlieisacastle · 1 year
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👋 don't really have anything interesting to say, I just didn't want you to feel alone. Sending you a Nick Hug™️ just cos we all need one from time to time. Hope your day improves
hiiiiiii how r u? im sky btw nice to meet u :D
thank u so much for ur ask and the nick nelson hug 🥺🥺 it means a lot 💗
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i hope u hv a great day/night as well <3
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shuchu · 6 months
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Hello hello!! It’s me again hehe but I’m just wondering on how ur doing !! I hope ur physical and mental health is ok I wish u the best since I’m dying rn my nose is stuff I’m crying BUT DID U SEE MIKA NEW OUTFIT OMGGG AAA ITS SO CUTE I LOVE ITTT
That’s all hehe hope u hv a good and nice day/afternoon/night!!!!
- 🧸
hello again lovely!! thank you for checking in on me ♡
i've been relaxing and doing the things that i enjoy since i'm finally done with uni for the year. it feels really nice to finally have some me-time after a hectic and stressful semester ;w;
i'm sorry to hear that you have a stuffy nose :c i hope that's all cleared up now!! & i did see mika's new outfit!!! she's so cute and pretty ueueue ♡
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HIIII I see that u hv a match up goin on and Id like to try! Would u mind doing one for me with Obey Me?
Pronouns : She/they
Sexuality: Im not sure exactly??... still discovering but I know that I like both sexes
Infp 4w5 / Cancer sun Taurus moon n Scorpio rising (I saw some doing not just the sun sign so i think it would be fun if i include all 3 lol)
Appearance: Im South East Asian. Around 5'2. I hv shoulder length black hair, black eyes and olive toned skin. My hairstyle is akin to the jellyfish hair. I rarely wear makeup and would just hv my bare face out due to its sensitivity to breakouts. And my clothing, its mostly modest/covering for academic places or just comfy and quick with any cool baggy tees i hv. Its my current closet, since i dont hv much occasions to go grand and i just wanna blend in with everyone around me lookin like an npc. But id love to wear more self expressing stuff in the future, to my desire. More accessories, colorful makeups and fashions like dark couquette/gyaru or so!
Personality: My personality, id say its two sided. I guess hv an open mind and easy going (to some degree ofc). A dream chaser and a listener. Sometimes (just sometimes), i can get my mind through a problem and stay grounded. Im also empathic? I like consoling with people and I appreciate the smallest details. I feel for people's struggle and I hold hopes in them. However, i can get moody, its so unexpected and intense that even im scared of it. I can be very quiet then, and dissociative. Id just want to be alone by that time to figure out my situation. Ive been said to appear gloomy or hard to approach too :cry: If im pissed, im venomous. And im actually an anxious person, of all sorts of things. Self deprecating too, i almost forgot abt that. But if i feel suitable, i get funky and enjoy myself hehe.
Likes/Dislikes : I like visual novels, rhythm games and those with good storytelling; a variety of music genres that focus on melody, instrument, composing; local asian food; sleeping with plushies; arts n crafts; esoteric things; philosophy study; my friends; solitude and continuation; aesthetic or hidden values and uhhh nice, mannered intriguing people.
I dont like smelly people doe. People who are narrow minded icks me oops. Pls dont tryna barge in on me when im busy unless it helps. I hate the sun... And not getting myself tented after a long day. I dislike my parents as well, yikes. Worst of all, being opressed.
Hobbies : doll, bracelet making; drawing, online shopping, rhythm game arcade, reading philosophy works, uhh getting invested in random medias...
Anyways, thats my submission! If u do reply, tysm for the matchup!!!
Hi Anon! Thank you for the request! I hope you like your matchup!
In Obey Me, I match you with...
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Asmo is the best person to hype you up about wearing more self-expressing things. He’s great at putting outfits together and will give you honest and genuine feedback.
Doesn’t mind your personality changes. He knows what mood swings are like so he’s very understanding.
Please go online shopping with him! But set a budget because you’re both liable to get caught up in the energy and spend too much. But online shopping with Asmo would be so much fun.
Not great at giving you alone time but if you say you need some space, he’ll respect your wishes. While you’re enjoying your alone time, he’ll do a spa day or hang out with some of his friends.
Asmo loves your plushies. He thinks they’re really cute and, if you’re okay with it, would love to borrow some of them to sleep with as well. He’ll take good care of them and swaps them out occasionally so you’ve got a constantly rotating roster of plushies in your room.
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tittyblade · 1 year
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hello op do tell me what is the wangxian fic you mentioned in the tags of this post https://www.tumblr.com/tittyblade/711997184926711808?source=share i am very much interested in a fic with lots of gender
thank you so much and hv a great day <3
(x) HELLO IM SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BC IT MIGHT BE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE WANGXIAN FIC SERIES <3333
See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! by ScarlettStorm
its a modern setting OF au. wangxian met in college and theyve been friends for 10 years, obviously pining like hell and cant do anything abt it for the fear of it messing w their friendship LOL. then things change and they change.
the first book focuses on how their relationship comes to be. its got good conflict n even better conflict resolution <33 if you’re specifically asking for what the post says that doesn’t come until the second book i think? there are still QUITE gender parts in the first book too tho. especially if youre into fuckin around w gender presentation <3 there are certain scenes where reading it gave me so much secondhand gender euphoria. reading this series (n im not even done yet!) made experimenting w my gender both identity and expression wise so much more fun. its definitely a comfort series for me <3
some of my favorite bits abt this series:
lan zhan is autistic and his autism is written rlly nicely. making me reconsider trying to get a diagnosis bc of how relatable he is to me LOL
same with wei ying and adhd
they both fuck up but work thru it together. theyve got really good communication and honestly its so refreshing to read people in a genuinely healthy relationship (it gets worse before it gets better)
^i should add to that. its written from lan zhans pov and quite a few of the first chapters are. anxious. the narration reflects the mental state of the characters so reading those first chapters were a bit uncomf for me but TRUST me. it gets so much better. its still definitely worth to push thru it and keep reading it.
the gang goes to therapy bass boosted! not getting into more details bc spoilers. just read it. its written very realistically which i adore.
nie huisang is nonbinary n goes by they/them <333 incorporating it into my belief system. they’re also a. sort of indie fashion designer WHICH??? I LOVE???? they work w burlesque performers so you can get a sense for their creations <3333
ScarlettStorm, the author, is a burlesque performer herself!! she know what shes writing. which shes Good at. (shes also on tumblr so if youre seeing this HI. i adore your fics)
in the second book, you get social commentary thru the characters’ dialogues abt things like being queer, being a sex worker, etc. which to me felt INCREDIBLY satisfying to read. even just writing queer characters living a good life is a form of resistance.
the smut is like. really really good LOL. thats all im gon say abt it find it out for yourself
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tyunlouv · 1 year
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hi love, your moodboards are super amazing and you blog theme is also very ethereal love it!!
also could you please promote my blog, it would be appreciated. thank you <3 hv a nice day/night
aww thank you sm , you're so sweet 🤍🤍 and yes of course love ! good luck with your blog <3
follow and support: @intotete
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