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#that happens to Dick
starwalker03 · 6 months
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What would the WMLP cast do if they got sent back in from where they currently are in the fic to their old body 10 minutes before the mission that went bad is set to start.
ooooooooh yes we're on the same mindwave lmao I have in fact had this thought.
all of them absolutely hating their tiny little teenage bodies. appearing in them and being like 'why am I suddenly super self-conscious and uncomfortable? why does everything feel slightly off when I move? why are all my thoughts happening so quickly?' and finally realising they're back in a pubescent body and they're just like 'oh I see, I'm in hell'
all of them trying to take this seriously, arguments on the rise, but they just can't because they're all so tiny and silly looking. especially Dick, who has suddenly lost like, almost three feet worth of height.
Wally's voice cracking every three seconds tho. oh my god.
all of them trying to hold up the ruse with the league for as long as possible because they don't want to tell them, they want to figure this out themselves. except maybe Conner, he kinda wants to just tell the league and let them fix it.
Them getting a mission and everyone being like 'well this will be interesting' and Conner sweating because he really doesn't think they should be going out in the field like this.
In the mind link:
Conner: we gotta tell them
everyone: don't you dare!
Conner: no seriously guys we've got to tell them
Wally, trying to be inconspicuous as he glares at Conner: snitches get stitches
Conner: Wally i could fold you like a pretzel right now. for the love of god can we please just tell them
Kaldur: I'm with Conner on this one
M'Gaan: if all of you don't shut up and keep the act going I will turn your brains to mush now everyone shut up and get in the bioship
oh jeez, M'Gaan seeing the bioship again. my heart.
I think eventually Batman notices Conner being super awkward and sweating anxiously and he's like 'what's going on?'
Artemis: nothing!
Dick, through gritted teeth: everything is great
M'Gaan: yep! all fine!
Conner: *visbly sweats even more*
Dick, in the mindlink: you're waking up with kyrptonite in your bed tomorrow I swear to fuck
Conner: we all time travelled and ended up in our current bodies!
everyone but Kaldur: CONNER YOU LITTLE FUCKING SNITCH
Kaldur, wincing: well that didn't last long
Batman and Black Canary: what
lmao. love it.
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godzillaswaisttrainer · 3 months
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Broke: adopt a child
Woke: borrow your boyfriend's
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memingursa · 3 months
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foundfamilywhump · 3 months
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the question, you see, is not ‘is it too ooc for this character to cry’ but rather ‘what circumstances would push this character to cry’
this is the whump wisdom, go forth and make that character cry
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redsray · 3 months
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I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.
Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?
Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.
Socialite: Uh... what?
Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.
Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?
Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^
Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.
Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.
Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?
Damian: Red.
Socialite: Oh that's lovely!
Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.
Socialite: Oh.
Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.
Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.
Socialite: Worse.
Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.
Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.
Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.
Tim, behind her: I can vouch.
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arttuff · 6 months
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i redrew an old anim i did of some guys taking a post-patrol nap
dickie is gonna get in trouble for wearing boots on the antique chaise lounge. no one tell alfred
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bastardlybonkers · 4 months
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so this is what it feels like
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 3 months
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De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo! Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting... Bruce: What the- Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed. Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!? Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour. Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum. Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?
Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).
The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.
He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.
Bruce: That child is up to something. Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid. Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid. Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.
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manesvoid · 1 year
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wayne Family making me want to draw stupid things
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allovesthings · 3 months
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My conclusion while reading the batfam comics.
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theaceofarrows · 7 months
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At a charity event
Bruce: Did you call Lex Luthor an idiot?
9 year old Dick: No. I said "are you an idiot?"
9 year old Dick: It was a question
Bruce: [trying his absolute best not to laugh] Do you think that was appropriate?
9 year old Dick: Very much so
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caela-argent · 1 year
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Melon Husk is stomping around Twitter HQ, ordering his employees to catch Dril and put the blue check back on him after the fiftieth name change like some sick cyberpunk CEO version of Wile E. Coyote.
I don't think it’s going well, tbh.
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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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duckytree · 27 days
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those not here during my ‘dear jason’ era gonna be confused asf
to clarify, this is NOT the ‘big brother’ timeline. this is another universe based on my fanfic ‘dear jason’ on ao3. we are safe
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batbabydamian · 11 months
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inspired by Batgirl (2009) #5 and #7! i love the bonding between Damian and Steph while their mentors bicker/talk about them lol
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thedreadvampy · 1 year
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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