#that's a whole other level of “there's something wrong with them”

[xitsensunmoon]

People often talk how inaccurate self diagnoses can be for things like autism and while I personally disagree, I found it to be true to some degree. But in a completely opposite direction.

When I just found out about a possibility of me being neurodivergent, maybe, like, a year ago? (Thanks to a peer review by my friends💀) I took an online test for a self diagnosis - RAADS-R. And there's a reason they say "it can be inaccurate".

I think my first "score" was something close to 80 out of 240 possible. It meant I had some of the traits, but a lot of neurotypical people could score that high too.

But I got curious. And so for the next year I was doing my research. Finding out about spoon theory, about energy levels, about light and sound sensitivity, struggles with social cues and such.

I took the test again, a year later. I scored 167.

If your conclusion is "well, obviously you were influenced and the results are biased" you won't be entirely wrong. But the reason for it is not that I faked it. It's that I paid more attention to myself.

If you're living your whole life masking, you're taught to ignore absolutely every symptom of what may be autism or ADHD. My whole life I was thinking that I'm "weird" or "broken" or "different" or or or. I knew that I'm living my life somehow different than people around me. It felt like everyone got a tutorial how to live this life and I skipped it. But I could never understand why.

So, why did I score higher the second time I took the test? Because the first time all of the "weird" situations were never linked to autism in my brain. I had two dots, the connection between them being autism. But I never recognised the said connection, due to the high-masking nature that helped me to cope with everyday struggles.

But the second I made the connection, suddenly everything made sense. Suddenly, it's not "I'm too sensitive", it's not "something is wrong with me", it's not "why am I not enjoying this while others do?". It's fucking autism(and ADHD too, lol.)

That's the reason your diagnosis may be not as accurate as you think. Your brain can try and protect you from making the connection between your experiences and the diagnosis. Or, of course, there's a possibility to make a wrong connection, too.

But you're the only one who can find out. There's no one out there who knows you better than yourself.

#xit shh #i usually don't post about things like this i felt like sharing #long post #autism

[happeehippie]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his WIFE evie as they go through his football career.

*face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 983,729 others…

evie: honeymoon avenue.

view all 4,738 comments…

user: i love you guys together!

> evie: 💗💗

user: am i the only one that doesn’t like her?

> millyg: it’s the jealousy in you.

> user: i don’t see how anyone can’t like her, she’s so nice!

user: yikes

joeyb_9: no complaints, probably the best avenue out there.

> evie: thanks for your input, i totally agree.

> millyg: gtfo you guys 🤣

joeyb_9

liked by evie, lahjay10_, and 902,519 others

joeyb_9: we will send a post card.

view all 5,739 comments…

user: nooooo that’s two times in a row he’s posted ev

> user: they are literally married now, she’s not going anywhere.

user: in his *husband* era

user: i can’t stomach this

millyg: still mad i got left at home.

> user: i don’t like them together, im not jealous or anything something just feels off.

> user: i think that means your jealous.

evie: the views were 10/10

> joeyb_9: i was only looking at you.

> lahjay10_: 🧀🧀🧀

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 810,826 others

evie: some small things…🤍

view all 3,738 comments…

user: i’m SO single

user: she doesn’t have to rub it in

user: NOT THE PRETTY GIRL. ladies he is everything..

user: if he wanted to he would

millyg: not joes failed cursive attempt

> evie: it wasn’t TERRIBLE 🤣

user: being with joe burrow is this girls whole personality

joeyb_9: the prettiest pretty girl.

> evie: 😭💗

user: so when are we expecting the divorce?

user: take notes fellas

user: joe and ev being so taylor coded makes me sick

> evie: swifties are superior, even if jb likes to pretend he isn’t one.

joeyb_9

liked by obj, evie, and 1,785,002 others

joeyb_9: had the basketball versus football convo too many times

view all 2,372 comments…

user: low key forgot you weren’t just some guy from cincinnati

> evie: THE guy from cincinnati

obj: Da boyyyyyyyy

user: tough. basketball tho

> evie: wrong answer. 😭

user: Joey B is A list now

evie: it was so nice of you to take photos with a few fans today.

> joeyb_9: 😎

> user: ev is coming for those opps

user: not him hanging with obj

user: such a weeb

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 1,037,927 others

evie: went to something called a white party?

view all 2,801 comments…

user: you win

user: he actually took you with him?

> evie: i actually got invited to come with him.

> user: standing on business.

user: YOU MISSED TAYLOR FOR THIS?????

> evie: marriage is about sacrifice.

joeyb_9: 🥵🥵🥵

user: this is everything

user: that joe pic is my new background thanks

> evie: charity work is my passion.

user: i keep coming back to look at this post

user: second pic sent me into cardiac arrest.

> evie: you should’ve seen it in person.

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 710,991 others

joeyb_9: “It’s time to go mobile.”

view all 3,729 comments…

user: YESSIR

lahjay10_: My step brother

> evie: hell yeah

user: do you want my mobile phone number

> evie: he doesn’t have a mobile phone.

> user: you are so funny mrs. burrow. 🤣💀

> user: why are you always so rude?

> user: she isn’t rude, but she’s always going to let us know that’s her man. don’t play like you wouldn’t do the same thing if random girls were coming at your bf with this kind of shit.

> user: i agree, she isn’t being rude but she’s never really let people show blatant disrespect for their relationship. even when they were in college.

tylerboyd: levels

> evie: BIG LEVELS

evie: you’re so hot. there is said it.

joeyb_9: 🪞

user: return of shiesty

user: YEAH BABYYYY

evie

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 810,003 others

evie: volume 4. 🤍🧡🖤

view all 2,761 comments…

user: you’re special

user: do you ever get sick of having to pretend to be interested in football?

> evie: never pretending.

user: he needs a tall blonde that has a brain.

> evie: my masters in marketing is offended.

user: i’m so excited to see the team smash it this year!

joeyb_9: very big fan of this.

> evie: your sunnies really tie it together.

> user: not you sharing sunnies. 😭

user: i love ev truly, but im also jealous of her.

> evie: i’m not sure what to say here. 🤣💗

joeyb_9

liked by evie, bengals, and 789,524 others

joeyb_9: Mask off.

view all 2,751 comments…

user: clothes off

> evie: the clothes will stay on. (for now) 🤪

user: Burrow is back!

user: solid W

evie: put the mask back on, i can’t think straight.

> joeyb_9: keep it on all night?

> user: i wish i could unsee this

> user: joe. please. this has to stop.

user: i’ll never quit you.

evie’s instagram stories:

a/n: hiiii. i’m going to finish this series up in the next post so i can work on some of the other requests i have. if you guys are interested in me continuing it once the new season starts let me know and i’ll see what i can do. thanks for all the love on this, you guys rock. and as always im taking request so if you have an idea i’d love to hear it.

#joe burrow #nfl #nfl imagine #bengals #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram

[eetherealgoddess]

Hellooo! I keep on rereading all your male reader × bonten fics. It's so good. Can you please make another where the male reader is a straight alpha hybrid that is owned by bonten, but against his will? Like, he doesn't like them or the way they touch him because he doesn't like guys. So one day, Mikey was going to the reader's room to cuddle him or baby him, but he was met by moaning and whimpering which made mikey feel giddy but when he went to the room and found out that the reader was masturbating over a pornstar girl he gets mad, like MAD. He'll grab the phone and angrily ask, "what's this?" To which the reader replies, "you know I'm not gay, master." and he calls all the bonten members to punish him. 🥰

i wrote this a little different than you requested but i hope you enjoy it anyway! <3

ꨄBitchedꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Hybrid Au

❦You're a wolf hybrid who's forced to be Bonten's pet❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread!

Japanese language is red

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR & AO3 UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture him as a black male but you can see him however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Bitched

“Say please, Master.”

How did you, a hybrid wolf, who used to be an alpha to a pack get in a situation like this?

“Please, Master.” Your face warmed as you kneeled in front of the man, the palm of your hands placed on the floor as you looked up at one of your ‘owners.’ It was demeaning. Downright humiliating to be in such a situation as this. Especially when you’ve only been a leader all of your life.

The man standing above you bent over with his hands placed on his knees as he became eye level with you. His eyelids were heavy - lidded as he gazed into your irises. His bangs hung over his eyes as the purple mane fell over his shoulders. The logo on his neck prominent in your peripheral as you made eye contact.

“Something wrong, puppy?” The criminal frowned as he gave you a bored look, indicating his annoyance at your behavior. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as a rush of anxiety caused you to immediately act.

With your ears perked up and tail wagging, you straighten your posture as a wide grin forcefully grows on your face.

“Please, Master!” Your tongue hangs out as you lightly pant, aiming to be as enthusiastic as possible. Despite your actions, you are deeply ashamed of yourself. You feel like such a coward, obeying and bowing down to a group of men who have power over you. You were forced to submit, your pack having been slaughtered caused you to become a lone wolf.

It was by chance you were caught up in the middle of a deal gone wrong, bullets flying everywhere while you hid in the alleyway. The whole area was surrounded with men in suits. When you tried to escape, you were caught by the scariest short man you have ever seen. You tried to fight, only to be knocked out immediately by a sudden kick you hadn’t expected.

You miss your pack. Nothing is the same. You miss your pack Luna as well, the woman you were married to. You helped each other through your rutts and heat. The first rutt you experienced in captivity was horrible. A few of the Bonten members were ‘experimenting’ with your body, touching and poking at spots you had never even noticed. The stimulation forced you into a rutt, resulting in the need to breed.

The platinum haired male who had kicked you originally covered your erection with lube before he lowered himself to engulf your throbbing cock. You had never been attracted to males in your life, hybrid or not. Although it was enough for you to release your seed over and over, you weren’t in your right mind. Post nut clarity hit like a bitch and it forced you into a depression that still affects you.

The following rutts grew worse, some of the men bending you over like a bitch in heat. Your masculinity and ego were torn to shreds. You had to escape, you needed to leave. So you did, until you were found.

“Good boy!” Rin pats your head before placing the treat on your tongue. “Your Japanese has improved.” He smirked before grabbing the leash that hangs from your collar, forcing you to crawl along as you enter the office where some of the other executives sit.

You swallow the residue crumbs of the treat as you look down, the bruise on your knees growing the longer they are connected to the floor. You ignore the pain as you sit criss crossed, next to the feet that are crossed once Rin sits in his seat.

“Come ere’, puppy.” The older Haitani who sits next to his brother commands while patting his lap. He smiles down at you while you hold back the urge to slice his throat with your claws. You hate that they call you demeaning pet names. You’re no damn puppy. Despite your feelings, you comply, not wanting to experience the baton again.

You keep your gaze down as you refrain from eye contact with any of the men who snicker as you crawl onto Ran’s lap, your bottom connecting as his arms circled around your waist from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder as he listens to the short man.

Mikey proceeds to talk about the mission everyone is needed for, ordering them on what they should do as well as giving some information about their assignments. You could only make out some of the words that you’ve been taught, zoning out as you lose focus on the situation at hand.

“Y/n.” Your ears perk up to your name as you eye the boss.

“I expect you to be on your best behavior while we’re gone.” You knew that was a threat more than anything, though the excitement for a break without all of them being around you was more distracting than the warning.

“Yes, Master.”

It’s been a couple hours since your owners left and you’ve been searching for anything to help aid your escape. Unfortunately, security surrounds the outside area so you couldn’t leave but if only you could find something, anything.

You sigh in frustration as you slam the papers down, having snuck in Kokonoi’s room where he keeps some of the paperwork in his desk area, having already checked the office. You didn’t really know what to look for but you weren’t finding anything anyway. Thoughts of your wife and pack appear as you become saddened, tears prick your eyes before you groan, your head lying in your hands as the elbows are plastered to the desk.

You eye the laptop in front of you, staring at your reflection as memories of your wife fill your mind. You were so desperate for intimacy, ideas began to flood as you looked down in thought. You missed holding her, cooking with her, making pack rules and implementing them with her, watching her take care of the pack’s youth. You miss her nurturing nature. You slam your fist on the desk as you growl.

You need her. You need her touch. You need her care. You need her to be there with you. For the first time in your life, you felt as though someone needed to save you. You miss hearing her voice, her moans and cries of pleasure. Feeling a twitch below you bite your lip. The last time you had sex with a woman was when you originally escaped.

You were so depressed that instead of finding shelter, food, or income you went to a nightclub and boozed up. You remember the lounge area like it was yesterday.

“Fuck!” You hiss as you thrust into the human woman. The couch trembles under your weight as you rock your hips into her missionary style. She moans as her arms wrap around your neck, pulling your head to her shoulder as her nails dig into your skin.

Considering the lack of a sober mind, it was easy to imagine her as your wife which made you more passionate with your endeavor. You pull back before grabbing her face and smashing your lips to hers, slightly gripping her ears as your cock rubs along her inner walls. Her pussy sucked you in tightly as she bucked her hips against you, meeting the hard thrusts as your pace accelerated.

She kissed back eagerly though the slip of tongue reminded you that she is not who you needed though the person will have to do it. You couldn’t bother to feel guilty as the alcohol takes over your train of thought, this being your only way to gain control of your masculinity once more. As toxic as it was, you were just so desperate. You pull back as you hold the back of her legs up, thrusting before both of you moaned loudly, orgasming as your cum shoots deep inside of her.

Just as you finished, a loud shot rang out right before blood splatters on your front, covering your face. You froze, hands wide open as her legs dropped, eyeing the chunks of human flesh and blood that covered the seat above her neck. Any sign of there being a normal head or face gone as your body trembles seeing the pieces of brain scattered. Blood begins to puddle on the floor as you move back, pulling up your pants and falling off of the seat.

“So you escaped to fuck a random bitch?” Sanzu tsked before walking towards you, gun still in hand. His pink hair sways as he crouches down until he is eye level with you. The scars near his mouth stretch as a toothy smile grows on his face. You tense, ears flat as he brings the end of the gun to your head, tapping gently with each word.

“All ya had to do was let us know you were horny.” He chuckled before pulling the gun back and grin dropping. “Instead, you behaved like a traitor.”

Another presence came behind him as the taller male leaned forward, golden orbs meeting your eyes with disappointment.

“You even lost your collar, Y/n. What a bad boy.” Kazutora shakes his head before snatching the collar of your shirt, forcing you to stand up.

You shiver at the memory of what happened the night you were caught with a woman. They were not happy. The punishment was tortuous and you didn’t think you would survive. Rethinking your idea, you tsked before searching the web, typing on the keyboard of the laptop.

“It’s just porn.” You whisper to yourself. They’d be gone for a while anyway.

Clicking the chosen video, the screen displayed the logo and theme music of the site before playing the actual video. You had chosen a short video so it didn’t take long for you to remove the erection out of your pants and spit in your hand. Slick leaked from your head as you wrapped your fingers around the girth. You begin to slide up and down slowly as the woman on the screen bent over on all fours, the camera showing the angle from the side as the man entered into her. They both moan as you accelerate the motion of your hand.

Desperate you shut your eyes as you listened to her moans, imagining your wife as your grip tightened around your cock, sliding up and down at a steadied speed as your hips slightly buck into your hand. You stop for a moment to rub your thumb along the tip as you place your other hand on the base before the hand holding your cock drops to the base.

You moan as your head falls back, eyes squint as you watch the screen, the couple becoming faster and slightly sloppier with their movements as they desperately move against one another. You buck a little harder against your hand as you slide faster, building the pit in your stomach. Before you release, the grip on the back of the chair causes you to jolt, cum shooting on your own torso as you pant, a grunt escaping.

“What’s this?” You eye the man next to you, his dark orbs boring into the screen before turning his attention to you. You were shaken up, not having expected anyone to be in the building besides the guards.

“P-porn, Master.” His eyes narrow down at you before he straightens his posture, moving to the exit. He paused before taking his leave.

“Strip, Y/n.” Your hands trembled as you hesitate, turning back to look at the dark glare coming your way. Not wanting to test his patience, you comply, tossing your clothes to the floor.

“Crawl.” You lower your body to the ground, tail between your legs with your ears flat against your head. You wanted to cower. You knew this wouldn’t end well.

“Come.” You follow him out of Kokonoi’s room to the bedroom in which you stay when nobody needs your service in their bedroom. Your limp cock hangs under you as you bite your lip in embarrassment. You will never get used to this treatment.

Mikey points to the bed once you reach the center of the room. Some of the executives enter just as you climb on the bed. You sit with your legs hanging off the bed, hands on your lap as you eye them.

“Sanzu.” He states. Said man already understood the assignment, walking towards you before reaching in his pocket and snatching a small bag with a pill in it.

“Open.” He demands, your eyebrows furrowing as you eye the pink pill. Your fingers fidget against your lap as you contemplate what they could be giving you. You jolted before whimpering in pain once he used his free hand to twist your nipple.

“Don’t make me say it again, Y/n.” Your lips fell apart before he placed the substance on your tongue. It dissolves as soon as your saliva touches it.

“This will be a part of your training since you haven’t learned your lesson.” Mikey states, watching as the medicine takes effect.

You begin to feel a heat rising just as a sharp pain shoots through your abdomen. Moisture forms out of your ass and cock as it grows, an ungodly amount of slick beginning to ooze out all at once. Your fingers meet the blanket as your claws pierce through in agony and an overwhelming sense of need.

You couldn’t believe what you were feeling. You’ve never felt anything like this before. All you know is that there’s this yearning to be stretched, full and bred. Similar to how your wife would get during her heat. It was as if you were turning into an omega in heat. Your back drops to the bed as your arms circle around your stomach, repositioning yourself into a fetal position.

“You will learn who you belong to.” Mikey crouched to where his face is in front of yours, watching as the tears stream down your face while a painful tightness forms in your cock.

“You will learn your place.” Rin moved your lower body to place the cock ring around your girth as well as your testicles, drawing a pained groan to escape your mouth.

“Look at you… you were never meant to be an alpha.” You whimper as you feel a pressure behind you against your backside. You attempt to sway your arm to fight back, only to be pinned with your stomach against the bed. The firm wet surface replaced itself back against your anus.

“You’re my bitch.” Mikey hissed just as the toy was shoved into your ass, leaving you no room to adjust as it was pushed all the way to the base. You cry out as it stretches your ass, cock leaking against the bed as you whimper from the pain.

“O-oh… shit!” The toy began to buzz as it stuck deep inside your ass. Tears streamed heavily down your face as the feeling in your stomach grew. Your anal walls tightened around the thick rubber as you looked slightly back to see what was buzzing inside of you.

Kazutora holds your tail up as his hand blocks the toy from slipping out, a smile on his face as you make eye contact through your tears.

“Doesn’t that feel good? Dirty boy.” He teased, pushing against the toy that’s already pressed hard against your prostate.

“Ah…” You breathe out, eyebrows furrowed as your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

“This is who you are.” Mikey says softly, gazing at your heated face and sweat that formed. He uses a hand to caress your head in between your ears.

Your hips move against the bed, aiding in a pressure against your cock as you seek a release. The cock rings are so tight around you. You could barely think properly.

“How filthy. You’re such a desperate little omega aren’t you?” Ran whispers in your ear on the other side of you. You shake your head.

“N-no… I-I’m an alp…!” A harsh smack on your ass caused you to yelp.

“Bad omega. Accept your alphas.” Rin rubbed along the bruise forming from his sharp slap.

The pill that induced a heat from you is making everything more confusing than it needs to be. Their words aren’t helping and it was frustrating. You desperately needed air but the twitching from your cock and stimulation from your ass says otherwise.

“Do you even deserve to cum, puppy?” Sanzu questioned you as he caressed your back.

You gasp in surprise as you’re forced on your back, the buzzing rubber still inside you.

“Awe, look at how swollen you are.” Ran says before gently wrapping his hand around your cock, thumb barely grazing over the tip as your hips buck.

“P-please…” Everything feels so overwhelming, you just wanted to release so you could run away.

“Please what?” You didn’t want to say it. You didn’t want to comply and give in, but did you really have a choice?

“Please, Master.”

“Still don’t know whatcha want.” Ran smirked just as Kazutora pulled the vibrator to the edge of your entrance, drawing a cry out of you. A hand forced you to look to the side.

“Tell me what you want.” Mikey demands, expression stoic though with an intense gaze.

“I-I want to cum, please Master.”

You officially hate yourself.

The tall man lowered his head before lightly gliding his tongue across the head of your throbbing cock. You grunt as Ran’s lips circle around the tip before lowering down your shaft. You thrust once you hit the back of his throat.

“A-ah!” Lips crash against yours as Mikey pulls you in for a deep kiss. Sanzu unhooks your collar before wrapping a hand around your throat, leaning in to nibble your ear.

Kazutora shoves the cock back inside of you, pressing it against your prostate once more as Rin leaves a hickey on your thigh. Just as you near your orgasm, they all pull back at once, leaving your ass empty and cock unattended as well as the rest of your skin.

“He doesn’t deserve to cum.”

“Bad omegas shouldn’t get to release during their heat.”

“Dirty boys should work for their orgasm.”

You cry out as a thick cock shoves itself all the way inside your ass, immediately slamming against your prostate.

Blonde and black hair drapes over you as Kazutora grinds his hips against you, holding your legs up as he pulls back before bucking into you again. You moan out like an omega who’s been stretched by an alpha for the first time.

“Look at how he’s taking it.”

“Such a slutty omega.”

“All those tears for what? You love this shit.”

“Dirty boy.”

Their words were just as overwhelming as the cock hitting your prostate, sliding in and out of your anal walls as it stretched you full. Your cock twitched as Kazutora grabbed your girth, squeezing slightly before rubbing with the thrusts.

“You better not cum.” Mikey said to you from the side.

“Only good omegas deserve to nut.” Sanzu hissed in your other ear.

“Ah, shit.” Kazutora whispers as his head falls back, releasing your cock before putting your legs over his shoulders and leaning over, gaining better access as he grinds against you.

“F-fuck yeah, baby.” His mouth hangs open as he thoroughly thrusts into you for his own pleasure, not bothering to hold back as he nears his release.

“He’s taking it like a whore.” Rin smirked as he watched your face morph in pleasure, the substance completely clouding your mind as you took Kazutora’s thrusts.

“Of course he is. He was made for this.” Ran states as Kazutora reaches his release with a loud groan, grinding out his orgasm as you desperately buck against him for your own, though nothing comes out which causes another intense pain in your abdomen.

Pulling out, slick fell once more. You release a pained cry as they all step back.

“Please…” You cry.

“Take this as a lesson, Y/n.” Mikey says as the executives begin to walk out of the room, chuckling about your suffering as Mikey turns to look at you once more before taking his leave.

“You’re always going to be my bitch.”

#yandere x reader #yandere #tokyo rev x male reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #yandere tokyo revengers #tokyo rev smut #yandere bonten #bonten #bonten x you #bonten x reader #bonten trio #manjiro x reader #manjiro x you #sano mikey manjiro #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x you #kazutora x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu x you #sanzu x reader #ran haitani #ran x reader #ran x you #rin haitani #rin x reader #rin x you #hybrid #hybrid au #a/b/o dynamics

[wexhappyxfew]

Also! 29 on OTP dialogue for Annie and Brady?

HI JAMIEEEE!!! thank you so much for this other prompt as well!!! sorry it took a bit to get to! :) i must say, this idea swirled in my head for a bit and then, when i felt things in writing were finally going the way i wanted them to, i felt ready to post this!! thank you again!!!! :D

a little while longer

(a/n): for the annie x brady girlies, with a mix of angst and fluff all at once!!! to say the least, these two have my whole heart and just !!!!!! there was an anon awhile back talking about brady freaking out if he ever saw annie injured or wounded in the slightest way - and well....here ya go! prompt: don't lie to me. i was there.

The soup was probably the best thing she could've had in that moment - despite what little warmth this place provided, the soup was sure to give her enough strength to keep her going. She'd been up most of the night with a nasty, wheezing cough, her nose running and her throat sore as all get-out. Now, with her stomach feeling sour, nose run red from the amount of times she'd wiped it, she felt like she'd been drug behind a truck and tried standing again. But, for now, this little bowl of soup was making her incredibly happy.

Annie looked up and towards where Brady was, sat taking up spoonful after spoonful of soup himself, getting every last bit her possibly could. She had to admit, she was worried about him more often than not - because he spent the majority of his time worrying about her, especially in the past few days. So seeing him eat his fill and focus on himself, settled her for the time being.

"Guys. Guys!" yelling started down the hallway, along with a banging all along the wooden walls of this sad excuse for barracks. Annie met Buck's eyes from beside her at the table and watched as everyone in the tiny bunk room looked towards the doorway to find Benny DeMarco racing in, eyes wide and bloodshot as he made an attempt to catch his breath.

"What is it, Benny?" Bucky said, pushing up from where he leaned against a bunk, forgetting about his soup and focused on the rather frantic nature of Benny there in front of them. Benny took a minute to catch his breath and then pointed outside.

"They got a new group comin' in. Margie may be in that group. We gotta go look." he said quickly, before disappearing again out the door. Annie watched that now-empty doorway and slowly turned to meet Kennedy and Bessie's eyes - there was something unspoken between the three of them that the boys hadn't entirely clued into or focused on. But coming in as a woman was one thing; having survived that level of interrogation was another.

Margie had to.

She had to be in that group.

She was more hopeful than half of them combined.

"Let's go." Annie said, moving to her feet, buttoning her coat and wrapped that scarf around her neck, "C'mon." She was the first out the door, hurrying down the hall, a few echoing footsteps behind her as she pushed outside and attempted to seek out Benny in the crowd. She caught sight of his beanie, and began, rather slowly, moving through the open area towards the gates.

As she got closer, she watched, as if in shaky, frantic real-time capture, as Benny moved along the fence, yelling out, over and over again, before tearing around the edge of the wiring and disappearing into the crowd.

Annie felt her face grow cold and stoic, her shoulders pressed high, her chin pointed up. Her heart pounded as she turned around the edge of the gate and found Benny there on the ground, pulling a rather fragile looking, collapsed, corpse of Margie Harlowe on the ground, her face bloodied, her clothing practically hanging off of her form, and her one shoulder looking twisted in all the wrong places. Then, standing over them, was whom she could only assume as one of the German soldiers who had been begrudgingly dragging Margie along.

This was one of her girls, her flight engineer; bright, sunny Margie, with that beautiful blonde hair that was now all haphazard angles around her shoulders, bright blue eyes that were red and filled with tears and beautiful rosy cheeks that were scarred and bloodied.

Annie slowly looked up at the German who stood silent and still, overtop where Margie was half alive in Benny's arms, her cries weak and pained, Benny's comfort only doing so much to erase the pain of reality.

Annie couldn't take it anymore.

She took three, wide steps forward right into the German's face, without much thought for her own self and stared up at him, her body rigid, her eyes narrowed.

"She's already half-dead," Annie practically spat out, "did you really have to drag her in the dirt like a dying dog!" Any sort of celebration and welcoming immediately went quiet as people turned to look at the female lieutenant who was currently losing it on one of the Germans. Annie's throat tightened.

"How can you just stand there!" Annie managed out again, but she knew she had messed up long before she even had opened her mouth. She should've stayed with her soup, let Benny handle all this. But she couldn't. This was one of her girls, this was Margie Harlowe.

Without warning, the German had grabbed her by the shoulders and swung her around him right into the dirt, her body hitting the ground with a rough whimper, her eyes closing at the pain shooting through her body.

"Annie, don't," came Margie's quiet cry.

"Don't touch her." Benny said, his voice drowned out by the sudden kick of the German's booted foot into Annie's side. She curled into a ball with a strangled cry, tears squeaking out of her eyes, her body begging for some sort of reprieve that wasn't this.

When the German had stepped away, angrily spitting down on her, she heard yelling and a commotion somewhere behind her, which was enough to make her sit up, weakly at that, looking past Benny and Margie in his arms and a few stragglers hanging about.

There, just past them, was Brady, screaming and yelling, being held back by Bucky and Murphy as best as they could hold him, Brady's eyes dead set on the German officer who walked away casually and calmly. Annie turned her quivering eyes to Brady again and watched as he broke free of the bodies holding him back and stomped across the open bit of land, taking his hands on the front of the Germans uniform and slamming him against the rusty wiring, yelling, over and over.

"Don't you dare fucking touch her again!" Brady yelled, his voice sounding like a wild animal's, guttural and raw, as the German yelled back, "Don't lie to me. I was there! I saw you hit her! Don't touch her again!" It didn't take long for the German officer to yell something in German, before swinging at Brady, sending him to the ground.

The brawl turned into a power struggle, the German kicking and punching Brady there on the ground, Brady all but weakened and defenseless. Finally, the two were separated and bodies were left behind and the few groupings that had been out were left behind by the Germans, only watched by guards in the towers. Annie watched as Bucky helped Brady to his feet, Brady struggling to find his footing, before ignoring any possible help, as he ambled over to Annie.

"Annie." he managed out, his voice sounding weak as he collapsed on the ground beside her, his hands reaching forward - he was always reaching for her, they always were with one another - and placing themselves against her cheeks, his thumbs rubbing in circles, "He should've never have hit you. I swear to fucking-"

"John." Annie whispered, slowly bringing her hands to his own cheeks, "You've gotta calm down."

"Not when they hit you, Annie. He did it because he-"

"John." she managed out again, "I'm okay. It's…..Margie." Brady watched her and some sort of realization seemed to hit him. He knew how important the women of Silver Bullets were to her, beyond anything, beyond even herself.

Slowly, the two looked over to Margie there, wrapped in Benny's arms, those tears running down her bloodied cheeks, grasping onto Benny like it was her lifeline. Annie managed to pull herself to her feet, Brady beside her, their hands linking to one another for some sort of support, before she fell to the ground in front of Benny and Margie, her hands shaking as she reached forward. Margie flinched at Annie's touch, her eyes immediately welling with tears - what could they have done to you?

"Hey, Margie, it's me." Annie whispered, reaching her hand forward and softly cupping the girl's cheek, brushing her thumb over her pink, wounded skin, "You're okay." Margie looked up at her with those water-filled blue eyes and let out a croaky cry, reaching up a free hand to lay gently against Annie's hand and nodded.

"I can't believe….I found…you all." Margie managed out, "Benny saw me first……I didn't want anyone to get hurt." Benny let out a quiet, wet laugh, as if holding in any tears he was trying not to shed. Annie looked to Brady, whose face had grown soft and gentle. Brady watched Annie, his face full of love and adoration, that same look she'd gotten the privilege of seeing anytime he watched her.

"You didn't have to go beat up any Germans, Brady." Margie managed out, her hand still grasping Annie's tightly, "You're too kind." The three of them laughed again at Margie's words, before Annie's eyes filled with tears and Margie seemed to notice.

"Don't cry, Bradshaw, I'm still here." Margie said softly, "Look at me."

"I thought you were dead," Annie managed out, her throat filled with emotion, "I should've looked for you….tried to get you to safety-"

"Don't go saying that, Bradshaw," Margie managed out, before letting out a wet, rattling cough, "I got to see Brady beat up a German for a bit. It was worth it."

"I promise it felt just as good as it looked." Brady said quietly.

"Don't give yourself that much credit." Benny offered and the group fell into small bits of laughter again.

By the time they'd gotten Margie up and in the comforting arms of Benny and Bucky who had come racing over like a bat out of hell, Annie had turned to Brady, looking at him bathed in cold sunshine, his face more stressed and sunken in these days, but still the Brady from that first day on base. They watched one another and she smiled slightly, reaching up to run a finger beside the cut near his eyebrow.

"Let me help you dress that," she whispered quietly, her hand cradling his cheek, as he watched her, "thank you for doing that." Brady clenched his jaw.

"He shouldn't have even touched you."

"I shouldn't have gotten in his face. I shouldn't have said a word-"

"You did the right thing, Annie, I know that. They gotta have a little humanity in this place."

"There's barely an ounce of that here." she whispered, voice sorrowful and sad. Brady watched her, before bringing up a hand to clasp around her one against his cheek. For a second, it looked like Brady was going to say something else, but he bit his tongue and continued to watch her instead.

"Does your chest hurt?" he whispered to her, "I'll help you wrap it. I'll scrounge some bandage."

"Only a little," she whispered back, "I'm more worried about your chest. He hit you pretty hard." Brady smiled softly at her and stepped forward, cradling her face in his hands, his beautiful eyes on her own.

"Let me take care of you." he whispered to her, "Let me hold you, just a little while longer." Annie stared up at him and flitted her eyes across his face and lips, before settling on that scar again.

"Only if you let me wrap up your chest." she whispered back to him.

"Only if I can wrap yours." he said back. She stared at him and then smiled softly, nodding, "Is it tender?"

"I'll be okay." she whispered, "You know that."

"I know." Brady whispered, "Sometimes I just….." Annie watched him, her big eyes holding him in her gaze, watching as he watched her back, their emotions hitting a head.

"What?" Annie asked quietly, her voice hidden it felt by the sweeping winds this place had. Brady couldn't get his eyes off her it felt, and like it were the most delicate thing in the world, he pulled her into his arms, probably the warmest hug she'd had since arriving here, and stayed like that. Her heart raced in his embrace and as he pulled back, she looked up into his face right in front of her and licked her lips. The corner of his mouth lifted upwards and she felt her body shiver. Something pulled her closer, she wanted to be closer than they already had been.

"Hey!" Brady and Annie seemed to bounce apart, and they turned to find Bucky walking closer, all smug, hands in his pockets, "We're gonna get Margie comfortable."

"Right." Annie said, stepping back and smoothing out her normally, crumpled clothes, catching Brady's eyes for a second and then pushing her hair behind her ears, "Let's go." She hurried away, towards where Benny was still walking with Margie, as Bucky came to Brady's side. Brady stared at Bucky, who smirked and clapped his shoulder.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Bucky said, "quite the dragon slayer though, huh."

"Shut up."

"You tell her yet?"

"Shut up, Bucky."

#HEYYYY #on a bit of a roll lol! #THEMMMMMM #this was more of just ideas smashed into one but i absolutely love the emotions explored here and just !!!! #also: peep the bit of margie x benny we get #yes we're doing thisssss hehe! #masters of the air #mota #mota writings #silver bullets #annie bradshaw #john brady #john brady x oc #benny demarco #margie harlowe #margie x benny #INSANE #BOTH OF YALL #i had to have brady going crazy at some point right? #THEMMMMM #literally when am i not freaking out about annie and brady in tags #thank u all for coming to my ted talk (ie my chaotic af tags) #ENJOYYY

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Nameless, Faceless: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Summary: Not even four hours after the case in Canada, you're thrown into another one. This time, without Hotch. You have a sinking feeling he's not just blowing you off to get some sleep. There's something wrong.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: welcome to the first episode of season 5! i hope you enjoy this series just as much as i loved writing it! <3

I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

x

They're all concerned about Spencer but even more concerned about Hotch and whether he's going to survive or not. They rush him to the same hospital that Hotch is in to keep them both in the same area. You've been by Hotch's side the whole time and he hasn't woken up yet. You rub your hands together nervously and look to the left of you to see your team fast-walk down the hallway.

"Hey, he's still not conscious."

"Are you sure it was Foyet?" Rossi asks.

"I felt his energy at Hotch's place. I saw what happened. Hotch lost a lot of blood but he's been stable since I arrived. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to be distracted. Plus, he was checked in with Derek's credentials that he stole the last time we saw him."

"Did they catch him on the security camera?"

"I saw him drop Hotch off but the camera is only at the entrance. I got a feel of the direction he went in but I lost him right outside the parking lot. I don't know where he is."

"It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the ER. We know Foyet gets off on power and control. Maybe what he wants is for Hotch to know his life was in his hands."

"He could do that without risking the hospital," Derek says.

"What happened to Spencer? I heard a gunshot go off over the phone. Is he okay?"

"He was shot in the knee," JJ explains. "He's here getting treatment."

You want nothing more than to go to him but if he's still in surgery or getting care, you don't want to interrupt that. Hotch groans as he comes out of his mini coma-like state.

"Agents, he's waking up," the doctor says. "Remember, he's weak. Don't push him."

"Where am I?" Hotch whispers.

"In the hospital."

"How did I get here?"

"Foyet drove you. Can you remember what happened?" you ask gently.

Hotch stays silent for a moment. 

"What did he take?" Everyone looks at each other in confusion. "The Reaper always takes something from his victims. Do we know what he took?"

"There was a page missing from your day planner in the address section," you say. "The Bs."

"What did he leave?" he winces in pain.

"I don't know. I looked over your whole apartment. Nothing felt out of place."

"Where are my clothes?"

You grab the bag with his bloody clothes and other belongings and set them on his legs. You pull out the bloody shirt and open the bag for him to go through. He pulls out what looks like a wallet but is Derek's credentials. Folded inside is a picture of Hayley and Jack.

He's going after Hayley and Jack.

"Haley's maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands. He knows where they live," Hotch sighs.

"Don't worry, Hotch. We'll take care of it."

Everyone but Emily decides to leave the hospital in search of Hayley. You would have stayed behind but you're better in the field than by Hotch's side. Spencer is still getting treated so you have no business staying behind. JJ tries calling Hayley three times but she isn't answering.

"She's not answering."

Derek takes out his phone and calls Penelope.

"Garcia, I need FBI SWAT deployed to Hotch's old address."

"Oh, God, do you think he's going after Hayley and Jack?"

"I don't know. Just send a SWAT team. Tell them to wait for instructions. We're on our way."

"Consider them there."

"We need to be prepared for what we might find. Foyet kept Hotch alive. He wouldn't do that without a reason."

There's no time to speculate because Foyet could already be there murdering Hayley and Jack. When the team arrives at her house, SWAT is already there waiting. As soon as Derek gives the green light, SWAT members pile into the house with your team mixed in with them. Hayley is in the house, you can feel her. Foyet's energy is nowhere to be found which means you got to her before he could.

You walk upstairs with Derek and two other SWAT members. Hayley is in her room wearing yoga clothes, headphones are in her ears, and she is doing laundry. She turns to put clothes away and screams loudly from seeing a bunch of people in her house.

"Oh, my God!" she gasps.

"It's okay. It's okay," you calm her down.

"What are you all doing here?"

"We got her," Derek says to Emily who is on the phone with him.

"What's going on?"

"Is there anyone else in the house?" you ask.

"No, there's no one here."

"Where's Jack?"

"He's at a friend's house for a play date."

"We need to get him back here."

"Where's Aaron?"

"He's in the hospital."

"What?" she gasps.

"Hayley, call for Jack. Tell them I'm on the way to pick him up. I promise you we'll explain. Call for him right now. Text me the address," Derek says and leaves the room.

"Tell me what happened to Aaron," she says as she does what she's told.

"He was stabbed nine times presumably last night or early this morning. We know who did it and we're doing everything we can to try and find him. We think he's going after you and Jack next. I know this is a shock right now, but you need to pack a bag. You can't stay here right now. You two will be placed in the Witness Protection Program."

"Wait, are you serious right now?"

"Yes."

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"I don't know," Rossi answers.

Hayley knows she needs to listen to your team right now so she starts to pack a very large bag knowing she isn't going to come back here for a while. Derek and Jack come back ten minutes later, and he has the biggest smile on his face.

"Mommy! They let me turn on the siren!"

"Wow, that's so great, baby! Did you have fun?" Hayley smiles through the pain.

"I'll help start a bag in Jack's room," JJ says and leaves.

"Okay. How many times did you run it? How many times?" Jack holds up three fingers and she chuckles. "Three?"

As soon as Hayley and Jack are packed up and ready to go, you take her to the hospital so she can talk to Hotch. Rossi already made some calls to other agents about placing them into protective custody, so those agents meet you at the hospital. Jack is waiting with one of the agents so Hayley can speak to her ex-husband alone.

It sucks knowing their situation (minus the whole Foyet thing) because they didn't divorce because they stopped loving each other. They divorced because loving each other hurt them too much.

While you let them talk, you go find Spencer who is on the other side of the hospital. You grab some jello for him on your way and you keep it hidden behind your back to surprise him. He is trying to find something on the TV to watch when you knock on his door.

"Hey," he smiles brightly and turns off the TV.

"I can't leave you alone, can I?"

"How's Hotch?"

"Physically? He's going to be okay. Emotionally? Not so much. We have to place Hayley and Jack in protective custody, so they're talking right now before they leave." You walk over to his bed and sit on the edge of it. You reach up and move some of his hair out of his eyes. "You need a haircut." Spencer laughs and grabs your hand while it's still on his cheek. He moves your palm to his mouth and he kisses the center of your hand. You rub his cheekbone with your thumb while looking into his eyes with so much love. "I bought you something."

You take the jello out from behind your back and his eyes light up.

"Thanks!" He eats a few bites happily. "Good news is that all I need are some crutches for a while."

"Don't worry, I'm going to take good care of you."

"I know," he smiles.

If he's going to go through all this trouble to incriminate you, the least he can do is stick around to watch your downfall. The block in which he left his last victim is sectioned off with yellow police tape even though there is a large crowd forming around the perimeter. Several officers are located on the outside to keep the public from barging in, and he squeezes himself through the crowd to get to the front.

If this is going to work, he needs to know what the police know so he knows how to proceed from here.

"Excuse me, officer? What's going on here?" he asks.

He's masked his real voice with a fake southern accent he's been working on for weeks.

"There's been a murder. Everything is fine, sir."

"Officer, I walk down this street every day and night. Am I safe? I live right down the block."

"Where?"

"Right there."

The man points to the apartment building on the corner of the street.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"No, sir."

The officer lifts the tape up so the man can step through so he's not stuck in the crowd. The officer doesn't take him to where the dead body is, but he wants some privacy from the onlookers.

"What's your name?"

The man doesn't hesitate to answer.

"Frank Livingston."

"What's a good phone number to reach you at?"

"619-555-0122."

"Where were you last night between the hours of ten and five in the morning?"

"Out here, unfortunately. I have a hard time sleeping ever since I had a stroke a few years ago. I decided to go for a walk to try and clear my head."

"Did you happen to see anything?"

"Well, let's see. I walked outside and had a cigarette." The man chuckles and pats his breast pocket where his pack of cigarettes is. "The dang things will kill ya but I can't seem to put it down." He chuckles. "Anyway, I was walkin' and I didn't know what time it was because I forgot my phone. I saw this car parked on the side of the road, and there was someone lyin' on the ground like they'd been hit. Seeing y'all here makes me think they might not have been hit after all."

"Anything else?" the officer asks and writes down everything he says.

"I saw someone leanin' against the car, but I didn't know what they were doing. The light isn't great out here. My eyes have gone bad since the stroke. It nearly took out my sight altogether. I'm not sure what they were doin' but I know I saw hair."

"Hair?"

"Long hair like a female's. I got out of there so fast like I was fearing for my life. You know females these days got everything goin' on. They carry all kinds of protective weapons on them. I didn't want to end up like that fella."

"Anything else you noticed?"

"Not that I can recall. Like I said, I got out of there quickly."

"Okay. If you can remember anything, please give me a call."

The officer hands over his business card with his contact information, and Frank takes it from him.

"Yes, sir, I will."

Frank walks away from the crime scene with the fake persona still on him. When he gets far enough away, he drops the innocent act with a smirk. He crumbles the officer's card and tosses it into a nearby trash can.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds series rewrite #criminal minds season 5

[artemisjpotter]

I have so many thoughts from Penacony’s latest quest that I just gotta rant about, but I’m going to start with Sunday because whew boy do I have a lot of thoughts about him in particular.

SPOILERS FOR 2.2

So we all knew Sunday was a bit of a “control freak” (to put it lightly) in 2.1 when he totally fucked with Aventurine’s mind with that Harmony brain altering shit, BUT this is a whole new level. This man thinks that the world does exist where only the “strongest” survive and the “weak” suffer (all relative terms, but he obviously views them as objective facts). He puts himself in the “strong” category and sees many others as “weak.” Hell, I’d go as far to say that he sees Robin as weak since he thinks she is an idealistic view of the world.

Regardless, he sees himself as the savior of the weak. More than that, he believes it’s his moral responsibility to help others. Sunday feels deeply for the suffering of others, and perhaps this is because he is deeply empathetic. But as we see it’s not all altruistic as he believes. Yes, he wants to end people’s suffering, but on his terms. He believes he is in a position where he can make people live peaceful lives. He doesn’t believe most people are capable of creating this kind of paradise, so he must create it himself. It’s a massive god complex mixed with an obsession of control that leads him to these conclusions.

And that ultimately is why I believe Sunday is antagonistic. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to end people’s suffering—on the contrary, that shows you have deep empathy and care deeply for people. But at the same time, Sunday believes he should be in charge of people’s happiness. As we see in 2.2, he feels the need to control everyone by trapping them in a dream. He doesn’t ask for their consent nor let them leave if they wish. He is completely stripping people of their autonomy because he believes he knows what’s best.

This kind of mindset is actually very arrogant with is paradoxical to Sunday’s actual desires to help others. What makes Sunday believe he can strip people of their right to make decisions? What makes him think he is the one to control people and tell them how to live? That’s not altruistic—that’s the making of a dictator, someone who is so obsessed with power and control that they overlook the rights others have to free will and making their own choices.

So there’s nothing inherently wrong with the great dream he wants to give people. I don’t believe that life means you have to suffer and that it builds resilience. I don’t think suffering must be inherent for you to grow as a person, which is in itself a whole other topic. However, I also don’t believe it’s right to steal people’s rights to make their own decisions, no matter how altruistic you feel that you’re being. When you do that, you play God. You make yourself above everyone which means you’re above doing anything wrong and that your word is absolute. That is not moral and it never will be in my book.

So the TLDR version is this: there’s nothing wrong with Sunday’s desires to give people a great life in a dream, but there is something wrong, dangerous, and immoral about trapping people inside and stripping away their autonomy.

(I can’t believe HSR has me psychoanalyzing characters. That just shows how great the writing is)

#hsr #hsr 2.2 spoilers #penacony #sunday #hsr sunday #did I just psychoanalzye a character? #yes yes i did #penacony has me in a chokehold #first aventurine and now sunday #everyone needs therapy #but what else is new

[bookishwithathought]

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Breakdown Part V - Azriel and Gwyn

Part I - Azriel and Elain

Part II - Azriel and Elain

Part III - Azriel and Rhys

Part IV - Azriel and Rhys

**This is just me, analyzing the life out of the bonus chapter and all the possibilities. My thoughts and no one else's. If you agree, great. If you disagree, love it. If you want to share why you disagree, love it even more. If you are disrespectful while disagreeing, I kindly request that you move along and if you insist you will be left to argue with yourself**

Back to control

"If you don't feel you don't hurt."

"If you don't feel you don't suffer."

"If you don't feel they can't break you."

Or know how close to breaking you got.

Azriel seems to be someone who feels too much and too deeply without a healthy outlet.

"tonight had proved he'd been right to do so."

This glimpse into his mind suggests that Az knew, consciously and subconsciously, his feelings were misplaced. He had known all along he ought to heed reason and not entertain or act upon those desires. If it were right, there'd be no regret.

Azriel arrived at the training pit with intense emotions that were overwhelming him and threatening to override reason.

The shadows also had not warned Azriel of Elain's presence earlier in the chapter, yet the author chose to only note it here.

Possibilties for the lack of warning:

The shadows didn't sense the person that was at the training pit

The shadows wanted Azriel to run into whoever was at the training pit and did not want to give him the chance to change course

The shadows were curious about the person who was at the training pit and they wanted to engage with the person.

Azriel wanted to be alone in this moment but didn't want to give the wrong impression that he is avoiding whoever was there. Azriel is a considerate character.

Chill, ice: ice and the cold are words often used to describe Azriel's moods, attitude or reactions.

It's late into the night of Winter Solstice and Gwyn is training alone.

Something is making her restless and in need of working it off

She has found something to give her focus and an outlet for her competitive streak

Gwyn wants to make sure she'll never again be vulnerable

The mask is back on and whole, containing everything he feels deeply within.

The shadows peered over his wing at her.:

The shadows are being highlighted in this section of the bonus chapter, as though their behavior is important to note.

They are curious about Gwyn, something rarely seen throughout the series.

Azriel's shadows are often met with fear, awe and outrigh disgust, so it is refreshing to see someone react to them in a positive manner, considering Azriel has noted his shadows are his companions, who would always be with him, making them essentially a part of his very existence. And not only react positively but treat them as their own entity, sentient beings worthy of recognition and attention.

Azriel again noticed his shadows are curious about Gwyn, something not seen before in the books.

"hooked her coppery-brown hair behind an arched ear":

Here are a few potential meanings behind this simple movement

Sign of attraction - a non-verbal way of exposing a persona's facial features, making them seem more open to the other person

A comforting or self-soothing gesture - a way to manage one's emotions in an uncormfortable situation or intense conversation. It serves as a small distraction, allowing the person a moment to collect themselves

A display of confidence - exposing one's face can signal they're not afraid to assert their presence and take up space

A flirting signal - hair tucking is a "preening" behavior in the animal kingdom, actions designed to improve one's appearance or attract a mate. It can signal their interest to the other person

Expression of nervousness - self touch providing a calming effect on the nervous system

Simply a habit developed over the years for any or no reason

Possibilities

Azriel being considerate of Gwyn's comfort level being in the cold

2. He is trying to subtly coax her to go inside so he can be alone in the training pit

3. This is an attempt at making polite conversation before excusing himself

4. Az is as curious about Gwyn as his shadows

Gwyn answers in stride.

After Azriel saved Gwyn in Sangravah, Mor brought Gwyn to the library where she's lived since then. Azriel remembers her, though he had not seen her since, until he began to help Cassian train the priestesses.

There is a hint of awkwardness in this moment.

It is great to note the difference in Gwyn through Azriel's perspective, since he is the one who found her at her worst moment. He's able to witness her growth and healing.

Based on ACOSF's depiction of her, the Gwyn standing before Az is determined, caring, stubborn, competitive and rises to the challenge. She is strong mentally and physically, which she already was before, but Azriel had not yet seen it.

SJM retconned the attack on Sangravah so Azriel would not only be present but would be the first to get there (emphasis mine):

From ACOMAF:

But Azriel confirmed that they’d raided the memorial in Sangravah three days ago. They’re looking for something—or found it.” Azriel nodded in confirmation, even as Mor cast a surprised look in his direction. Azriel gave her an apologetic shrug back.

From ACOSF:

“The first had just unbuckled his belt when Azriel arrived.” Silent, unending tears streamed down Gwyn’s face. “Azriel slaughtered all of them within moments. He didn’t hesitate. But I could barely move, and when I tried to get up … He gave me his cloak and wrapped me in it. Morrigan arrived a few minutes later, and then Rhysand appeared, and it became clear some of the soldiers had gotten away with the piece of the Cauldron, so Azriel headed after them.

Once the moment passes, Gwyn gives Azriel an opening to leave.

Az had originally gone to the training pit to be alone, and he could've taken this opportunity to leave and find solitude somewhere else. Instead he chooses to stay in Gwyn's company.

Their interaction is very direct in a comfortable way. As though they are familiar.

Gwyn is observant and perceptive and is capable of reading others well. Azriel certainly wouldn't volunteer this information.

"Her mouth quirked to the side":

She realized she has figured out why Azriel went to the training pit late at night on a holiday and is amused to know he's not as hard to read as he likes to think.

Azriel tries to slip back the mask on with a lie

Gwyn challenges the lie

This moment provides another example of how caring Az is.

Az decides to indulge Gwyn and accept the invitation to banter with her. In this moment he is lighter, compared to before arriving at the training pit.

To be continued...

#azriel bonus chapter #azriel shadowsinger #elain archeron #acosf #wandering mind #sjm give us peace #elain acotar #gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara

[abysmal-eve]

The reason I love the Bird Trio/HwoaJinXiao polycule so much is because throughout the Tekken story, from part 3 onwards, Jin has mostly been alone and faced many challenges and hardships. It was difficult without his mother's guidance and even harder after Heihachi's betrayal. However, there are two people who have stuck with him and remained the closest to the very end...

Hwoarang and Xiaoyu.

Hwoarang

Hwoarang and Jin first met as teenagers on the streets of Seoul when Heihachi took Jin with him on a bussines trip. At the time, Hwoarang was a gang leader and has likely crossed path with Jin in an attempt to take a money from him, seeing how rich the young Kazama was. He didn't expect Jin to refuse, let alone resist in a great way, as he thought of him as nothing more than a rich spoiled brat, which the latter soon proved him wrong. After their fight ended up in a draw - something that happened to Hwoarang for the first time in his whole life - it sparked something big between them.

At surface level, it looked like a simple rivalry, like any other. However, Hwoarang was the only one who really pushed their rivalrly, demanding that rematch from Kazama over and over, every time they met, but Jin did not take it seriously, nor did he want to fulfil his rival's request at the time as he was focused on getting revenge on the Ogre, leaving Hwoarang frustrated.

After the events of the third King of Iron Fist Tournament, Jin goes missing, leaving the readhead with many questions, and as the time went by, Hwoarang found himself burning with a desire to get the rematch he demanded ever since he lost that day. Fast forward to the 8th KOIF Tournament, Jin and Hwoarang faced off each other again, reingniting that spark of their rivarly from their very first days of the tournament and finding the purpose of it once again.

The rivalry is one-sided for the most of the time being, as Hwoarang is the one who initiates the fight, and Jin being the representative of calm and peaceful Kazama path, so he did not bother with his redhead rival's constant demands. However, in Tekken 8, Jin has finally come to terms with his rivalry with Hwoarang and jas started to reciprocate the need for fight, as seen in their special intro where he says: "Come at me with all you've got." This indicates that he's in a much better mental state and he's willing to play along with his friend and rival, which Hworang accepts happily. They show affection for each other in mutliple different ways, mainly through their fights where they passionately display their will to come out on top and keep the fighting spirit ignited all the way through. Jin respects Hwoarang as his rival indeed, as it can be seen in their Tekken 5 rival battle cutscene, where Jin responds with "no" after Hwoarang asks him if there is somone stronger than him.

Of course, as I am a great fan of "rivals to friends to lovers" trope, the way these two interact made me feel many things about them.

Xiaoyu

Xiaoyu met Jin when he enrolled in the Mishima Polytech High. Being a jolly and extroverted girl with a kind heart, she saw how different and lonesome the young Kazama felt in the school, so she took the matter into her own hands and tried to approach Jin... and it worked.

The tragedy at Jin's home in Yakushima left Jin feeling hopeless and vulnerable for so long, so a person like Xiaoyu was a ray of light that had shown up right after the storm. Xiaoyu's main defining trait was her undying hope and determination and it was that which made her and Jin become close. We can also see Jin call her simply "Xiao" which indicates their close bond and informality that vanished as the result of the relationship developed.

Prior to the fourth King of Iron Fist tournament, as Jin was missing at the time, someone had sent Xiaoyu an email where they warned her about the nefarious plans of Heihachi Mishima, whose protegé she was. It is very implied that it had been Jin, as he had been planning to destroy the Mishimas bloodline along with him at that time. Later in Tekken 5, he warns Xiao to stay away from him and the Mishimas until he deals with Jinpachi, as another sign of him caring about her just as much as Hwoarang.

All up to the events of Tekken 8, Xiaoyu, with her friend Panda, has been in an endless pursuit of searching for Jin, as she was worried and frustarted with everything going on. Just like Hwoarang, she was in disbelief when she heard that it was the young Kazama who started the war, as she knew him way better than everyone else (with a little exception of Hwoarang). Not once did Xiaoyu think of giving up and she chose her allies carefully (Claudio, Zafina) in order to succeed.

Jin and Xiaoyu are each other's biggest supporters and they are the textbook definition of soulmates, as they both know what the other desires and they push one another to success.

TL;DR

Hwoarang and Xiaoyu are the only two people besides Jun that can inspire and move Jin in their own different ways. Hwoarang evokes Jin's fighting spirit and passion, while Xiaoyu brings out his compassion and kindess.

The end. ＼(^_^)／

And this is the main reason why I ship them all together, and no amount of money or ridicule is ever gonna make me stop.

#tekken #jin kazama #hwoarang #ling xiaoyu #hwoajin #xiaojin #xiaojinhwoa #hwoajinxiao #otp #ot3 #polycule #poly ship #analysis #eve rambles #text post

[ennoshitas-princess]

Winning My Heart

Kenma Kozume x chubby fem! reader Warnings: fluff, slight bullying (not from Kenma), Kuroo setting the two of you up, slight subducting (comments), swearing Synopsis: you are the younger sister of a professional gamer and he takes you to a convention, even though you wanted to spend your weekend at home Word Count: 772 So, I hope you love this, bc I found the idea super cute.

Being dragged by your older brother to any place where he had to be was something you were already used to, but never quite enjoyed. In your honest opinion you found video games fine, but never enjoyed playing them. Just the thought of you being here made your anxiety skyrocket to a whole new other level.

“Look, y/n. Your older brother is cool, isn't he?” Your brother bragged about his success, even though he just gained fame because of you.

The real reason why he became famous rather quickly happened one fateful day, the day you decided to enter his room while he streamed himself playing Minecraft. You entered to check up on him, and only in seconds when the comment section of his stream started to go nuts over you.

One comment read: “Damn, I wish I could date her~”

Another read: “Is that your girlfriend??”

Another one: “I bet her pussy tastes so good~”

Just seeing those comments made you ick in disgust. Mainly, these were guys right around your brother's age, about in their twenties. You were just in your second year in high school. Just thinking about them made you want to leave, but you just stood there, rolling your eyes.

He kept on shooting each opponent down, each smearing in red as they fell onto the ground. You stood there with eyes opened up widely, shaking in place, wanting to leave and not see the bloody horror on the screen.

He eventually got shot, but never made it to the top of the rest. The highest score right when your brother died was about twenty thousand points, while he only got to like a thousand or so. You stood there wondering who was the one with all these points?

You walk away from the pouting of your brother, not wanting to deal with the big baby he is. You found yourself venturing off to anywhere to maybe find an exit, but a part of you just wandered around to check the place out.

From pro gamers, to noobs, to the in-betweens, your eyes glimmered under the lights hung right above your head. The time and dedication put into being here made you want to congratulate every single one of them, except your brother.

You eventually see a stand with a faux blond playing Mario Kart, trying to beat a rooster head right beside him.

Fascinated, you stop to check out who is going to win. A group of tall guys stand in front of you, snickering to each other.

“What is a fat ass like you doing here? Only guys are allowed. Not a girl like her.” One of them said.

“Yeah, like what the fuck is wrong with her? She should go to the restaurant right around the corner.” Another snickered.

The faux blond got distracted with the comments and turned around to glare at them.

“What is wrong with you guys?!? Anyone can be here and have fun. You guys are just jealous that she might be better than you.” His golden eyes pierced their souls.

With that, they scurried off to hide.He turned back to his game, only to lose. His eyes popped out with frustration, wanting to kick anything and everything. He lost because of those dumb guys. You weren't a problem, they were.

“Hey, you protected that girl even at the cost of you losing Kenma. Why?” Kuroo teased the guy.

“Because people like them are just dumb and don't deserve to even exist, like they are just wasting our oxygen.” Kenma shrugged it off.

Kuroo being himself, he knew there was something more with him and you.

“Hey, Chibi-chan. Who are you and do you have a boyfriend?” Kuroo called out to you.

Your face scrunched up with a hint of blush. A random hot guy is asking you if you have a boyfriend. How could this be happening?

“Umm… no, I don't.” You glance down to the floor.

“Great! Hey Kenma, why don't you go out with her?” He teased him.

His head turned around to where you stood. His face turned into a tomato seeing your cute chubby cheeks. Your outfit too made you even more adorable.

“What is your name?” The rooster head asked.

“L/n y/n.” You replied to him.

Cute, I guess. The faux blond thought.

He reminds me of my kitten. You thought.

“Do you play video games?” Kenma approached you with a hint of hesitation.

“No, but my brother does.” You point to where your brother sat.

“Oh. I thought we could play together. I could always teach you some time.” He suggested.

“Sure!” You smile happily.

A/n: hello, the post I promised of Kenma!! I will post the winner of the poll soon!! Hopefully you enjoyed reading this!!

Thanks for stopping by!!

∘•······································•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•·······································•∘

All rights reserved copyright ©

ennoshitas-princess

Please DO NOT repost on any other platform!!

Reblogs are acceptable

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #reader x character #haikyuu x reader #one shots #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #female reader #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kenma #kenma x reader #hq kenma #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo testuro #kenma x you #kenma kuzome #kenma fluff #kenma x y/n #kenma x chubby reader

[cave-monkey]

It dawns on me that the journey to the west took 5,040 days exactly, right, and while the book goes from tribulation to tribulation, there were still only 81 of those. And they were missing one when they got there. And some of the tribulations Tripitaka went through happened before the journey even started.

So, even being generous and saying that most of the tribulations that occurred during the actual journey could be said to have taken a few days to handle each, that's still only about 10% of the journey. A tribulation was anything that happened that put Tripitaka in danger or presented any sort of obstacle to him. Anything even remotely exciting would have fallen into that ~10%, and nothing else could have happened, because otherwise they wouldn't have gotten west one moderate inconvenience and/or major trauma short of the prize. (I mean, unless the thing that happened managed to not involve Tripitaka at all in any way, but that's very hard to do when you are all attached at the hip.)

Holy cow they really were just walking. ALL THAT TIME. No wonder Zhu Bajie was stirring the pot at any given opportunity. It was literally the only thing to do.

#jttw personal #how did they not kill each other #I was thinking about this while still picking at chapter 27 #tripitaka was super gullible in that chapter in a sort of inexcusable way but also #it sooooort of makes sense when you think like #statistically #across the whole journey they could have gone moooonths between demons #years even #and suddenly sun wukong's claiming to have killed 3 (they didn't know it was the same demon) in a row in one morning? #even if tripitaka HAD believed him (or just harbored doubts) after the first one how likely was it the second was the case? or the THIRD? #obviously the evidence was in his face but couple the idea that their encounters with demons were actually SUPER rare #with the fact that tripitaka still had major trust issues with sun wukong from the fact he HAD trusted sun wukong previously #only to have that trust pretty solidly broken #and tripitaka's probably operating on a level of 'fool me once' hyper-vigilance against him that actually makes zhu bajie seem reasonable #I mean who are you going to trust? you and your own shitty judgement when you've already been wrong about the guy once before? #or the DEMON who probably knows more about DEMON MAGIC than you? #tripitaka's got TWO expert consults telling him two wildly opposing things but only ONE of them's seriously burned him in the past #(while the third expert consult and tie-breaker is notably abstaining. gdit sha wujing.) #anyway the characterization here is actually really good #tripitaka doesn't know the story framing - WE know something's up because otherwise we wouldn't have a story about it - #but tripitaka doesn't realize he's in a book #and I'm just saying tripitaka is being less foolish than the meta knowledge of being The Reader makes him seem #still a total brat though #he's definitely letting his own pride and hurt (and like...trauma) bias him against sun wukong unfairly #which is something he needs to work on and IS something that he pays for #(even with the bandits: expecting sun wukong to behave to tripitaka's standards of morality prior to TEACHING him those standards) #(wasn't fair. but also when he *tried* to address it sun wukong got angry and took off. and then tried to kill him. so.) #it's just interesting and whoever told this story originally was clearly putting a lot of thought into what it would be like #to actually be in these guys' shoes. Like ugh. HOW is this book so good?

[troublcmakcrs]

//saw an absolutely ice cold take that tweek shouldn't have a coffeeshop of his own when he gets older bc his parents & their coffee is what caused most of his problems, and i'm like... it's about retribution, it's about allowing him to run their business better than they did, to become more successful than they did without using underhanded methods and hurting people, it's about the despite, it's about letting him thrive despite, despite, despite

#misc :: ( ooc ) #//i actually hc tweek as being genuinely passionate about coffee #//like DESPITE his parents there is comfort in the familiar; it's what he knows #//when he's having a better day mentally and his parents aren't down his throat about something #//he doesn't really MIND making drink orders for people #//tumblr has suuuuuch a huge problem with characters reclaiming the thing that hurt them tho #//even tho that's LITERALLY what i did with south park so ofc it was gonna get projected onto one of my sp muses LKJFDSKJDF #//tumblr is back on their ''there's only one way to be a victim and that's having a COMPLETE repulsion to the thing that hurt you'' bullshi #//it's his PARENTS he has a problem with; coffee is an innocent and has never done anything wrong in its life 😭 #//and yeah for a while he DOES avoid coffee bc he doesn't think he wants to work in a coffeeshop anymore #//and he struggles to find anywhere he fits for SO long bc he's trying to force things he... doesn't really like doing #//and on this blog it's craig who talks him into it like ''hey you LIKE making coffee; why are you not doing that?'' #//and it finally clicks for tweek: ''oh yeah why AREN'T i doing that??'' #//neither craig or tweek are ~perfect victims~ according to this bullshit website's definition of the term #//if they were they would never speak to each other again bc of tumblr's whole... #//...''you absolutely cannot forgive your abuser under any circumstances'' thing #//anyway tweek's future goth/alt coffeeshop where he offers the occasional free breakfast to homeless people is sexy send tweet #//i'm literally the only one i trust with tweek at this point i'm so serious #//like sorry i know literally EVERYONE has him on their blogs but i Get Him on a different level LKFJDSKJDF

[girlscience]

okay okay okay okay. I KNEW that the fight between Luffy and Usopp was going to be different from the rest of the show so far and I knew I was going to have thoughts about it but oh my god I did not expect it to FEEL so different. Like up to this point they have faced some fucked up people and had some serious fights, but the Strawhats themselves haven't really felt serious. This alone feels like it legitimized Luffy's captaincy and proved how the crew will trust and follow his decision making. (which is why I really really love Zoro's part in it because even Luffy was having a hard time doing this and Zoro told him he couldn't waver because if he did who could they trust? and I have so many feelings about that) Anyway, this was really the first incident related only to the crew themselves that has felt actually serious and I really appreciated that.

#I also liked seeing all the other responses to the fight as well #Nami clearly doesn't understand and just wants them to apologize and get along again but she's still siding with Luffy because he is captain #Sanji understands more but he also clearly would prefer for them to just talk it out but I feel like he does think Usopp is in the wrong #in a way that Nami doesn't and he is still following Luffy #and then Chopper... I don't feel like he fully understands but I think his issue stems more from a crisis as a doctor #and feeling it is his role to heal everyone and suddenly he is unable to care for someone he loves #However I do think that in part his experience with almost being taken by the foxy pirates really cemented him as never ever leaving #the strawhats so even though it hurts him he isn't going to do anything that he feels betrays the crew and i feel like he found a good line #of respecting his beliefs as a doctor and also still following luffy #I think Zoro saw this as necessary and knew Luffy needed something that cemented him as captain and he knew there was no other way #for luffy and usopp to work out their disagreement. also he has only been following luffy this whole time and he feels the rest of the crew #needs the level of devotion he has to luffy so if usopp doesn't feel that and wants to leave? he says go. #if you aren't willing to follow no matter what you shouldn't be here. also i think he is mad at usopp for making the rest of the crew have #to go through all this and watch it happen. #i am very excited to see all the fallout from this and how this arc goes and how they get back together #i am also super super excited for the robin plotline #i know farrrrr more about the usopp plot in this arc than robins so i literally don't know what's going on with her right now #and i'm super excited to find out #one piece

[southstand]

something i’ve seen frequently in football circles especially with the rise of social media (where ppl engage with the sport in absolutely bizarre ways but that’s another topic for another day) is this longstanding obsession with ‘(winning) mentality.’ how is it quantified? how do you prove its existence? how consistent must it be for a club to acquire this ‘mentality?’ it’s just bonkers to me because you’d assume that every club and every fanbase would want to win, just some a) have better resources to do so or b) some overperform/underperform as is the case with any sport which leads to drawing some kind of conclusions about this ‘mentality’ or c) some fanbases just have a better time rationalising a potential loss within the external factors which of course also leads to drawing conclusions about this ‘mentality.’ i guess my problem with it is just that it’s become such a buzzword where teams get either praised or insulted for their mentality when it’s so subjective and influenced by other factors too (doing well, doing badly, general trajectory of the club, personal satisfaction with individual achievements, media opinion, etc).

#was looking at absolutely ludicrous exchanges on the bird app and it’s just like ? #for example woolwich fans (and henry) saying tottenham fans have a weak mentality for being satisfied with a draw #which a) is not true and b) one could point to their team being on top of the league all season and croaking during the run in #is that winning mentality? but then again you could argue that they had a young squad that overperformed massively #and even then you would be ignoring external factors in all of these situations which for spurs’ case would be #having a fresh starting xi most of whom are young and haven’t played for the team/pl (on this level) before #and that historically tottenham have had an abysmal record at the emirates so a draw and positive footy are taken as a good result #and for woolwich (calling them this bc i don’t want fights lol) you’ve also got to see that #the season had a full wc in the middle and many many other top 4-6 teams underperformed #i just feel like this buzzword that we’ve got now this mentality is disguising #discussions abt the core issues of a team or even halfway intellectual discussions abt football #and it’s a bit discouraging like you want to talk abt a club struggling or doing well and it’s like it’s the mentality harhar #mentality at its essence is important don’t get me wrong you’re more likely to play better for a team if you believe you can do well #but every fan can point to times of good and bad mentality. what’s more important is that the captains get up and the whole squad believes #in itself and whatever it is that is binding them together and just have faith #that’s what makes the winning so special. not so much the mentality and the potential pressure it puts on a player and club to perform #but that belief in something beyond just winning that is what makes it consistent #in a perfect world anyway in reality the richest clubs win that’s just the way things go

[nebulaleaf]

horrified tails meme .png

#AYO THAT AKECHI GLOVE POST... SOMEONE IN THE TAGS IS VAGUEING ME? #i dont care but also i do care because i Just woke up and im cranky #'atlus has inconsistent characters and its weird as fuck to have a Gotcha moment' HOW IS IT WEIRD I WAS JUST POINTING OUT OP WAS BLATANTLY #WRONG JAJFJCKS #AND... ITS NOT INCONSISTENT IF IN EVERY SINGLE SITUATION HE WEARS HIS GLOVES THE SAME WAY? #THATS JUST YOU MAKING UP A GUY AND PROCEEDING TO GET MAD WHEN CANON DOESNT ADHERE TO THAT GUY #which is very akechifan core #im so iritated by this not as One Guy Bothering Me but as like a model of hiw akechi fandom is as a whole #and i know any fandom has clowns who ignore clear canon for the sake of Deep HCs but im being annoyed at persona rn so shush #its just curious to me because firstly. akechi is not kyoko kirigiri. if you want someone with emotional attachment to their gloves go play #danganronpa. because shes there and waiting. for akechi his gloves are part of a uniform and convenient and thats it #can you make an argument that there's something going on at a metaphoric level or otherwise during his removal of his glove at rank 8? #oh yes. absolutely. there is something there in both the removal of the glove and the act of him tearing it off himself. and maybe in the #Why and Fact he wears gloves. but idt its a symbol of a wall between him and others when he freely takes them off for an entire four months #and he's actively denouncing the PTs then so its not anything to do with liking them and 'showing sides' #blehhhh BLEHHHHH!!! #shout out to the one other guy agreeing witb me youre the best #i think the gloves do showcase a disconnect from other people as a surface level design thing for initial impressions if youre looking that #upon first seeing him but. thats from an ooc perspective. ic he wears them for work! and thats that

[the-mighty-nappa]

random personal ramblings below. continue at your own risk

I'm starting to realize why I haven't been able to be horny with my partners outside of the occasional teasing and joking for the past while and I have no fucking idea how to deal with it lmao..... ugh. tl;dr summary is that the more I unearth all the shit I buried before I transitioned the more I realize that what I thought was my main kink is turning out to be uuuuuugh something of a core that I can't function without. now both of my partners are into only specific aspects of it and my main one has started wearing padding when I request it if she wants to cum but like. i'm not okay with having it piecemeal, especially with my main partner (the one I would like to marry in the future) who is into exactly 1% of it and nothing else. It's also been the cause of depression starting again but I just do not know how to bring this entire topic up with her. I'm losing it and the lack of intimacy from all this has been making me feel like we're starting to drift apart, among other things.

#I don't know what the fuck to do man #this is something I wouldn't even bring up to my therapist because it just feels weird too for me #but like actual agony on a spiritual level #magic rambles #vent post #the amount of times i've cried about this in the past while is a sad amount #I do not think I can emphasis how badly I want to be in the typical AB/DL care giver role for my partners fully but #neither of them are fully into the whole thing #and it just feels like a bleeding wound that can't be stitched closed to heal #causing a numbness that's similar to the feeling of being taken by hypothermia #as you lay outside in the freezing world not caring what happens to you #and don't get me wrong #I still love my wife a whole lot but there's just a whole other side to me she'll probably never get to experience #and it's hard. I don't want to keep a whole core aspect of myself out of sight #just because she isn't into it outside of one or two things #if for some ungodly fucking reason you read this entire thing hiiiiiiiiiii

[fangswbenefits]

Ao3 . Ko-fi

ASTARION

⤷ Book - Astarion comes across an interesting book and decides to share the knowledge with you. Quite literally.

⤷ The Arrangement (on-going series): masterlist

⤷ Lockpicking - You ask Astarion to teach you how to lockpick and things get... out of hand.

⤷ Pointy Ears - You accidentally find just how sensitive Astarion is when it comes to a certain part of his body…

⤷ Curiosity - Astarion wishes to satisfy his curiosity when it comes to breastfeeding... and comes up with a proposition that is mutually beneficial.

⤷ Oral Fixation - Astarion is quite sure you are going to drive him insane from how adorable and clueless you are when eating those juicy fruits around him... and he just has to do something about it.

⤷ Unexpected - Astarion has barely ever considered starting a family with you in the old-fashioned way, but an unexpected conversation might just trigger that urge.

⤷ Breathe - Astarion is more than eager to show you the perks of not breathing.

⤷ Questions - Your curiosity drives you to ask Astarion a very unexpected question, and he's more than happy to give you a proper reply.

⤷ Patience - You are too eager to ride Astarion, and he proposes a solution to your impatience. After all, experience is the best teacher and impatience its fiercest enemy.

⤷ Backfire - You should have known better than to make Astarion jealous, and now you are left to deal with the consequences.

⤷ Reading Session - Astarion walks in on you reading a rather suggestive book, and far be it from him to interrupt your learning process. 

⤷Trance - Astarion is having a hard time trancing, and you offer to help him out in more ways than one.

⤷ Fever - You're running a fever, and Astarion offers to cool you down… only to make things a whole lot worse.

⤷ Everything - You're used to staying still whenever Astarion feeds on you. This time, he wants you to feel everything.

⤷ Comfortable - Astarion walks in on you in a rather compromising situation. Naturally, he offers to help, but then you ask him to promise you something that he was not expecting…

(LINKS ARE CURRENTLY NOT WORKING - I'LL FIX THEM SOON 🙏)

MIGUEL O'HARA

✫ 18+:

⤷ Tension - Miguel walks in on you late at night doing something unexpected, which makes things really awkward afterwards…

⤷ For Science - There has been a rumour circulating in regards to Miguel’s venom. It has to be too far-fetched, right?

⤷ Intimacy - Lack of intimacy after childbirth can weigh a relationship down. Thankfully, Miguel always finds new ways to keep the spark alive.

⤷ Perfect Morning - Miguel’s definition of a perfect morning involves a comfortable bed and being buried deep inside you.

⤷ Comfort - Miguel has been having nightmares as of late and seeks a level of comfort only you can provide.

⤷ Breakfast in Bed - Miguel wakes you up to breakfast in bed.

⤷ Stress Relief - Peter B. Parker should know better than to swing by unannounced.

⤷ Sharing is Caring (I) - (II) - A mission has both Miguel and you sharing a room… what could possibly go wrong?

⤷ [COMPLETE] (0) Sweet Girl , (1) Frustration , (2) Suit Up , (3) Obsession , (4) Consequences , (5) Discovery , (6) Double-edged Sword , (7) Confession , (8) Devotion - Miguel’s desire for you has been taking a toll on him, and he really has no other option…

⤷ Second Intentions - You’ve been tense lately, and Miguel offers a massage. Quite thoughtful of him… except you know exactly why.

⤷ Tracking - You find out Miguel has been tracking something that concerns you… and him.

⤷ Gentle - Miguel shows you how gentle he can be during your pregnancy and how worthy you are of it.

⤷ Backfire - The math is simple: you make Miguel jealous + push him past his breaking point = hot rough sex. Too bad Miguel doesn’t do simple.

⤷ Side Effect - Miguel has been acting off lately and you find out why… the hard way.

⤷ Stubborn - As far as you’re concerned, you just want to stay in bed all day, admiring Miguel’s glorious chest.

✫ Fluff/Comedy/Comfort/Hurt/Angst/Misc:

⤷ Memories - You are ready to tell Miguel he is going to be a father… but he isn’t.

⤷ Revelations - Miguel asks you to keep a secret, so naturally everyone is about to find out.

⤷ Solution - Period cramps always leave you feeling miserable, so Miguel offers a solution.

⤷ Tiny Spider - Your daughter has a few questions, and you suspect Miguel might just open a portal to another dimension.

⤷ Another Chance - You go into labour and all you know is that you need Miguel more than ever.

⤷ Broken - You wonder if Miguel is broken beyond repair, because he surely believes that.

⤷ Family - Miguel is a natural when it comes to being a father.

⤷ A Series of Firsts - You and Miguel are ready to become parents and you must now go through a series of firsts together.

⤷ Appreciation - Miguel catches you staring at a very specific part of his body…

#astarion #miguel o'hara