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punksocks · 1 year

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Lilith square Ascendant

Lilith square ascendant is an interesting placement. It’s packed with energy that often seems excessive and uncontrollable. Lilith energy is always tied to the mythology of Adam’s first wife, Lilith. She was an unfit wife because she saw herself as equal to Adam and could not be “tamed” to follow him as her husband. Lilith the figure is filled to the brim with complexity, s*xual energy, and intrigue just like the placement is.

Lilith can be felt powerfully in the angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) as these are the houses tied to how you are perceived and received by others (self, childhood/family, spouse/partners, public). Personally I have Lilith in my 10th house squaring my ascendant which is why I wanted to dive into some of my observations with this placement.

Lilith aspecting the ascendant is often observed as an alluring placement. Lilith is impactful, often others will have a strong reaction to you. When you walk into a room you will have people that immediately love or hate you no matter how neutral you attempt to be.

Individuals with Ascendants that are Trine/Sextile to Lilith tend to enjoy and find empowerment from the often sexual attention they receive. While Asc Conjunct/Square/Opposition Lilith individuals tend to feel disgusted or turned off by these strong reactions.

In all honesty, strong Lilith placements are in the individual’s birth chart to encourage them to come into their own without shame or making themselves smaller for others.

Lilith square ascendant is said to be the most alluring and untamable placement because of the strength of the tension of energy of this aspect.

In addition to that, there’s something startling about the energy of strong Lilith placements/aspects, not because of Lilith herself but because of the reactions of others.

People often assume that the version they perceive of you to be all that you are. They also tend to be quite possessive and controlling of you. Either they shame and avoid you because they feel especially overwhelmed by your energy. Or they try to capture you, as if they could be the one to assert total control and dominance over you and to make you up in whatever image they view as “respectably feminine”.

This is obviously a trap, because Lilith’s energy cannot be muted, so when controlling people cannot change your essence they will sometimes react badly. As if they are following dark impulses, something snaps and they simply cannot process you being so uncontrollable.

Personally with my Lilith in 10th house in Leo squaring my ascendant in Scorpio, I find I usually get a certain set of reactions. From feminine energies, I often get femmes that suddenly get very competitive with me. For attention, skill, or otherwise, especially at work. (Check your 11th house to see where competition tends to come up). I usually have an easier time making friends with femmes with Lilith energies who are more aware of and embrace their “alternative” or “dark feminine” sense of expression and social s*xual power/identities.

For masculine energies I often get contempt or infatuation. Contempt in the form of avoidance and belittling. Or infatuation in the form of pushing boundaries with leery behavior. Something about Lilith makes some men really uncouth in a jarring way. It’s like the socially polite part of their brain just shuts down and they devolve in front of you.

Lilith isn’t a bad placement, just to be clear. I don’t believe any placement is bad, I know that every placement has its disadvantages and advantages and your lesson is to use them accordingly. Lilith is just a litmus test. If someone is an envious, possessive, abrasive sort of person, their behavior will be shown to you almost immediately. Especially with very masculine or very “traditionally” feminine energies.

I’m synastry too, Lilith overlays will show you a lot about your partner and their behavior towards you. Lilith shows if people around you are developed or undeveloped the easiest of most placements I believe.

This is definitely a placement to be careful with because you can’t really tell how far into scary behavior other people will go once they’ve made up their minds about you.

Day by day, I’m learning Lilith’s lesson of not letting people control you by gaining means to be independent and have my autonomy supported throughout my relationships always, but I’ve definitely gotten through some scary situations by having to get away from people that want me to submit to them.

#astro observations #astroblr #astro community #leo #scorpio #lilith square ascendant #lilith #lilith aspects #black moon lilith #astro notes

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crystaldivination · 1 year

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𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 .˚

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐞?

Hello beautiful souls and welcome to another intuitive pick a card reading. Today we will be looking at what’s so special about you that makes you drop-dead gorgeous. I hope to be able to bring you some delight feelings and contentment with this reading. It’s quite long so as always please let me know if this resonates with you in some way. I’d be happy to know if you enjoy my works. Likes, reblogs, comments and follows are highly appreciated. Thank you ♡︎

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how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each piles separately. Which pile sparks an interest in you? Which pile do you feel called out to the most or reminds you of something? Take your time and come back later to it again if you can't seem to choose.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄.

La feminine mystique

Hello pile 1,

you’re so powerful. Let me tell you what I mean by that. You possess an enormous energy in you which seems to have no limit. This can be an extremely powerful force that can benefit you in the long run if you know how to use it wisely and it seems like you do. Other people often feel "intimidated" by you. They feel compelled to respect you and treat you with dignity. You attract attention without meaning to. For some of you this confidence may stem from what you’ve been through in your past. Your experiences shape and form you to be the person you are now and you know it. That’s why you’re proud of yourself, proud of the strength you’ve gained from your pain and always carry yourself with pride. You don’t let others step on your boundaries and your well-established values. Other people can sense and see this attitude coming from you even if you don’t openly express this directly. You make a statement with your presence. You subconsciously challenge other people as well especially men. You radiate an energy that’s just as bright and powerful as the sun or hot and passionate as Mars or dangerous and brooding like Pluto. You don’t sit around waiting for a prince on a white horse to come to your rescue, you dive into the challenges and face them head one. You stand up and get things done and you do it YOUR WAY. You don’t give in to anyone even if it means to hurt someone’s feelings if you truly believe in something firmly. You’re daring and sassy. You’re words might be harsh sometimes but the truth hurts so for you your bluntness just simply means that "It’s better to get hurt by the truth than to hear sugarcoating false lies". That quality of yours makes you admirable in the eyes of many although for people who is more on the traditional side (referring to the fixed gender roles of masculinity and femininity) they could see you as being too intense, overwhelming or over empowering but that’s okay because you’re not here to please or fit anyone. You know your worth and you’re not afraid to face any criticism because that’s part of life. You’re familiar with that but you couldn’t care less for you’re the one who create your own reality.

To conclude what makes you so special is your renowned sense of self and self-confidence. You believe 100% in yourself. You know what you want and know how to get that bag. You’re just a girl boss and most importantly you’re priceless. You don’t give away too much from yourself yet enough to show who you are. You represent real womanhood and stand for feminism. You’re the mysterious femme fatale who’s giving everyone weak knees. It’s giving successful business woman/entrepreneur vibe. You’re such a win overall.

[Astrology placements] Leo, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Virgo, Pluto-mercury, Pluto-ascendant, Mars-asc/mc, Pluto/Mars/Neptune dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑

A supernova

Hello pile 2,

you’re well-liked for a reason. You’re charming and always outrank others with your tenderness. Your kind demeanor and attitude just make others mesmerized by you. You put others above you and never seem to really want the "prize" of being the best everyone is looking for. You surpass all superficiality of this world. Jealousy, competition or intentionally stepping on others to get to where we want is not a solution for you. You dislike that. You believe in a peaceful and harmonious world. Hostile, judgmental attitudes create a negative, pessimistic picture of the world we live in so you choose to be kind and fair. You see that relying on one’s ego and be full of greediness won’t do anyone any good. People really notice this difference in you hence most might see you as superior to others. You’re so empathetic that people can’t help but want to protect you. You’re very balanced in your way. You care for others but never forget about your own needs. You’re always so put together and professional when dealing with other yet you can relate and connect with them on a personal or emotional level as well. You just have a knack for being sociable. You’re diplomatic and gentle. Others might view you as a soft or even obedient kind of individual but you know when to stand up. For yourself and for others. This makes you admirable and respected by anyone. You very much stand for justice and righteousness. You believe everyone is the same regardless their race, status or anything society would judge a person by. You’re definitely a pacifist. People love you and most importantly they believe you. They believe in you and your power to change the world FOR THE BETTER. A world where everyone can live in peace with each other, where there is no useless competition or harmful intentions. Your picture of a beautiful place where one live harmoniously together and function together as one is a desirable wish for many who believe in togetherness and the collective.

To conclude what makes you so special is your sense of purpose. You call out for a meaning to live and exist in this world. You impress other people with your vision of a world filled with love. Love for oneself and others by being kind. And indeed people who are truly kind have the ultimate leverage. If you give without expectation of getting anything in return, you've won. The obvious benefit of being kind, honest, and loving to others is to affect positively those around us. If you respond with kindness, all the hate will be defused. You only force yourself to be bigger than the negativity. If given the choice, most of us would prefer to be in the presence of a person with a humble spirit and YOU are one. Your energy and vibe reminds me of Marilyn Monroe’s.

[Astrology placements] pisces, cancer, libra, venus-Pluto, sun-venus, moon-Jupiter, venus/sun/Jupiter dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐 ♥︎

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍.

A rebel

Hello pile 3,

let me start by saying that you’re so innovative. You have the craziest ideas but they are all so forward thinking. People see you as a genius most likely. People might even call you "mad" because of your weird ideas but you probably easily prove to them about it. You’re the definition of an intellectual and knowledgeable individual. What makes you superior to other people is that you know you’re different from them and you embrace this so well. You may be proud in nature but never arrogant. Your easy-going attitude is what attract a lot of suitors. Eyes are being laid on you all the time. You’re the cool and fun sis/bro in the hood. What’s unique about you is that you create or like have a different form of expression and you know how to get your messages across using different amount of mediums or modalities. Your different perspectives makes you incredible interesting in the eyes of other people. Furthermore you’re a very good debater. You have your own visions and you’re all about evoking a revolution, changes and progressiveness. You’re most likely known for being a shock factor. Your purpose might be here to literally disrupt the system that we live in now. It's like actually you don't want to do it the same way it's been done before so you create something completely new. You might see that it’s because our evolution is changing and you feel like you're in a role or a position to bring in new strategies for a good cause. You have your own moral spine. You’re strong enough to rely on yourself and do everything on your own. You don’t need help from anyone yet you’re not scared to ask for help when you need it. It’s very admirable to have this kind of balance in you. You’re not trapped, bound or driven by your own ego. If it serves the intention for a new growth and more developed world you’re ready for everything to make it happen. You’re a warrior. You break the norms and find way to improve society like no one else does and that’s for everyone in it not just a certain percent of people. People see you as a source of inspiration. You walk your own path but never alone.

To conclude what makes you so special is your inventive skills and mind. You stand out from the crowd because you own your uniqueness and new ideas. You don’t shy away if you or your different views aren’t being well-received by others. You stay true to yourself while being understanding of them and accepting their differences and opinions. You just continue to do your own thing. It’s really giving Gen Z vibe.

[Astrology placements] Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Uranus-nn, Saturn-Pluto, Jupiter/Saturn/Uranus dom or influence

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑 ♥︎

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sweet-luv-club · 2 months

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✎ breastfeeding m! Kylar like he deserves ♡

. . . ˚✧.⊹ tags ⊹⁺. ೀ

2.5k words (wow im a horny bastard), informal writing, m! Kylar with cock, unprotected p in v sex, unrealistic sex, Kylar is a very submissive and pathetic (/affectionate) top, lactating pc from cow transformation, BIG GIANT TATAS and AFAB anatomy terms. u got coochie n it'll b called cunt and pussy but Kylar doesn't call u by either feminine terms or masculine terms so it's,,, gender-neutral reader-ish??

. . . ⋆ ꮺ˚⊹ notes ⊹ ༘˚

WHY BOTHER HAVING A BREAST MILK MECHANIC IF U CANT GIVE IT TO ANY OF THE LOVE INTERESTS... SMH VREL GET ON IT /LH also dis is a shoutout to da fellow transmascs like me that don't mind hvin big tatas 2 feed kylar <33 my first full fic i tink!! enjoy!!!

♡ ┆ u 2 are on a date at the part as usual. when u casually suggest it, his brain just stops working. his mouth hangs open and u have to shake him to snap him out of it.

"uhh, haha, sorry, darling... c-could you repeat that?"

with a smirk, you do. you lean in and suggest going somewhere private so he could enjoy your milk directly from the source. all the blood in his cheeks rush to his cock almost immediately. he is so down bad for u, he's fucking floored u even suggested it.

♡ ┆ he gets more cocky, confident, and possessive during sex, but at this point, he's only squeezed your chest so far, not sure how he could even begin to explain himself. he’s seen u lactate when u cum, he just didnt know if it was overstepping a boundary to just dive in. its early into the relationship so he doesnt know if youre comfortable with that part of your bovine biology. hes a perv but hes also a polite boy!! well... most of the time ♡ he couldnt just walk up to u and say i want ur milk babe, you deserve better than that, he just didnt know how to ask... so ofc he's over the moon you're the one who brought it up

♡ ┆ absolutely solidifies in his mind that you're an angel sent from heaven to protect him and love him

♡ ┆ he's a stinky little anime nerd /pos. pre-relationship, after you saved him from bullies, he draws u and ur cute fluffy cow ears and massive anime-like tits in all sorts of erotic ways. does all the hentai tropes. fists his needy, leaky cock at night to the drawings he's made of u. when you start dating, it was like he was walking on cloud 9 when you wanted to recreate some of his erotic drawings (bc ofc u pushed to see his sketchbook when he mentioned it was full of only u lol)

♡ ┆ cant go to the manor, kylar isnt comfy w that yet. cant be in pc’s bedroom, kylar doesnt even want a single chance of someone who knows you and lives with you to see u giving him milk, it's his and only his in sight, sound,,, and ofc taste. hed get jealous if other orphans u live with saw yall doing it, bc if they see he thinks theyre never gonna forget the sight..... which could lead 2 all sorts of trouble since they live with u and he doesnt. he wants it to only be his even in memory. PATHETIC /POS so yalls only option is a cheap-ass love hotel. maybe someday youll fuck somewhere nicer but this’ll have to do… not to mention kylar is thrumming w/ excitement. he’s fucking trembling at the mere thought of getting to taste your sweet milk, directly from your heavy chest which was always tempting him… PATHETIC /POS (1)

♡ ┆ at first, kylar cant get his bearings. he sits next to u on the bed, hands politely on his lap while his cock strains against his pants. hes strangely silent until u snap him out of it with a kiss on the cheek. “ah… d-darling, you don’t know how much this means to me.” he says in a shaky voice. you chuckle and slowly begin to lift your shirt, making sure to give him a show. the way your heavy tits laden with the milk he craves always looked like they were spilling out, your bra barely being able to hold them back never failed to do a number on kylar’s psyche.

♡ ┆ ”c’mon, you’ve already seen me lactate. get me wet first, babe, then it’ll come out.” you tease as you unclasp your bra effortlessly and toss it to the side, your tits swaying with every movement you make. kylar is hypnotized. just a lot of spacing out in general until you two really get into it.

♡ ┆ your back is laid on the bed, and Kylar moves to get your pants and panties off. the sight never fails to make him breathless. he figures the quickest way to taste your sweet milk is to eat you out, so he does, very diligently. he dives in and devours your pussy like a man starved, he does this every time. he just can’t believe someone as perfect as you would willingly give yourself to him, and he wants to show his gratitude properly, always…

♡ ┆ this mf latches onto your cunt with an intense need and desperation. not only is he making his beloved feel good, he’s working to get your milk flowing as well… it makes him especially ravenous. licking up and sucking on your sensitive folds, using his hands to part your lips and plunge his tongue into you deeper… when you pat his fluffy, unkempt hair and moan… “fuuuuck yes, that’s it, good boy…” he goes absolutely ballistic in his brain. it goes w/o saying that he has a praise kink, loves giving and receiving it. he’s especially emboldened when he feels his head sandwiched between the softness of your thighs, he’s going delirious with need at this point, eyes all half-lidded and bleary, focused on nothing but lapping up the fluids your cunt makes. he's fucking groaning against your folds, can't get enough of your sweet taste. his cock is straining to be free right now, but your pleasure takes precedence.

♡ ┆ eventually, he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, tongue swirling around it as he’s making you scream. “K-Kylar!!” it fills him with a sick thrill, like he’s letting all the strangers in this damn sleazy love hotel know that he’s the one making his darling cry out with pleasure. he pulls back for a moment, a string of saliva connecting between your cunt and his lips to smirk confidently at you. “that’s it, darling, let it all out.” he says, as he’s licking a broad stripe up your pussy, “let them all hear how much you love what i’m doing to you.”

♡ ┆ the moment he sees your tits drip with milk, he unlatches his mouth from your cunt with a soft pop, halting the intense suctions for now. his eyes sparkle with curiosity and hunger, seeing you laid out on the bed with your cheeks flushed, mouth hung agape from moaning so much just does something to his fucked up brain. he wastes no time capturing a nipple into his mouth and giving a hard suck, groaning when your milk hits his tastebuds. it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted…

♡ ┆ he kneads at your tit, trying to coax more and more milk out of you as your cow ears flicker atop your head. needless to say, he’s getting off on your moans, the taste of your creaminess, and the softness of your chest… he loves it. all of this, it’s only for him and him alone. he laminates your nipple with spit using his tongue, moaning as he drinks up every last drop. keeping a hand on your pussy, he gently bites down, making you yelp, yet he also felt your cunt twitch at the action… that gives him an idea for later. he shows love to your other breast, licking up all of the milk that had been dripping off to the side as his fingers rub at your pussy, the slick sounds making his head spin. his breaths are heavy and erratic as it fans over your exposed skin, adding a layer of eroticism from his desperation being conveyed this way.

♡ ┆ finally… the moment he’d been waiting for. he releases his mouth and cups both of your heavy breasts, pressing them close together and sucking on both your nipples at the same time. wow… just like in his hentai mangas. the sensation makes you feel embarrassed, but you can’t deny how good it feels, either… as his fingers dig into your plush, large chest, he suckles, licks, and bites, doing anything to get more milk into his mouth again. some of it drips in between your chest, and it gives him a devious idea…

♡ ┆ he retreats for now, taking a finger to swipe up a drop of milk on his chin and lick it, a crazed hunger in his green eyes. he pulls down his pants and boxers… out comes his cock, blushed at the tip and leaky with pre-cum. “darling… would you be willing to hold up your chest for me, please?” he asks in a sweet voice, and you comply without question. you already knew what he was planning without him having to outright say it.

♡ ┆ he holds the sides of your breasts securely and moves up on the bed, positioning himself under your chest. you feel something hard underneath your boobs… and without further ado, Kylar thrusts his cock in. he moans so loud, breathing sooo heavily as he pistons his hips… he’s just in pure disbelief. the milk that had dripped between your chest earlier aids him in creating a slick passage between your pillowy tits. it takes him all his willpower to not immediately cum… which he inevitably fails. his cock splatters all over your chest, and a little bit gets on your face. “ah…!! i-oh no, i’m so sorry… i couldn’t help it, it just felt too good…” he pouts with a voice whinier than usual. you reassure him that it’s more than okay with a sultry smile, and you collect his cum with your fingers, licking it all up.

♡ ┆ the sight of you doing that of your own volition without him even asking to… grrr he’s going feral! and he realized you hadn’t cum once! that just won’t do. so while waiting for his cock to stiffen up again, he pulls out and lowers himself back down and thrusts a finger into your dripping entrance. he gets off on the sound of your moans, and he reaches down to take a nipple into his mouth again, the dual sensation of kylar’s suction and his finger curling inside you driving you mad. he establishes a rhythm with both actions, and it’s not long before he adds another finger into you, the squelching noises from your naughty pussy tempting him making his cock twitch back to life very quickly. as your inner walls tighten around his fingers, he searches desperately for your sweet spot while feverishly lapping up any milk from your breasts. and finally… he finds that one gummy mass inside you and just absolutely goes to town on it, making you cry out loudly. he reluctantly detached himself from your tit, and as his fingers were pressing down on your sweet spot, he held his hand firmly over your pubic mound, pressing down and quickening the pace of his fingers going in and out of you. it’s not long before you scream his name and cum on his fingers, soaking his hand in your precious nectar… not to mention your chest flowing with milk as well.

♡ ┆ he’s now hard again… and you take a moment to catch your breath. he’s too impatient this time, however, he wants to thrust into you now. you feel his cock press against your overly sensitive entrance but you manage to gently push him down onto the bed to take control of the situation. “ah ah ah. not so fast. just came, ya horndog.” you tease lightly, while kylar groans and pouts. you reach down and press a kiss to his lips, your tongues meeting each other once again as they get entangled. you taste a hint of your own milk. kylar can feel your breasts pressing up against him, the weight making him get more needy and feverish with his kissing. his breath hitches when you start grinding your cunt onto him, tip of his cock leaking with cum onto his tummy as your pussy presses down on it. your hips buck back and forth on top of him as you take control, allowing yourself to rest while keeping kylar sated.

♡ ┆ when you’re finally ready to have sex, you teasingly bounce your cunt on the tip of his cock, and you see tears in his eyes. “pc- my love, come, on, let me in, pleasepleaseplease- ah!!”

his babbling is interrupted by you finally giving him what he wants. as your velvety walls sink down onto him, threatening to overwhelm his senses, you press your breasts onto his face. “you know what to do.” you say with a flirtatious smirk. kylar immediately gets the memo, he’s been dying to do this since you first saved him. he latches onto your nipples and tugs down at your breasts while you start bouncing your pussy on his cock, the dual sensations driving you both mad.

♡ ┆ you’re expertly riding him as he whimpers helplessly beneath you, humping into him so hard the headboard slams into the wall from your passion. his mouth is overflowing with your milk like he wanted… his brain is just melting, much to your delight. your cow tail swishes behind you playfully as he grabs your plush hips and thrusts up into your movements, the sounds of your moans and wet slapping reverberating in the room.

♡ ┆ the warmth and softness of your cunt makes him wanna cum again. poor boy… he was never good at lasting long. “kylar, hold yourself back right now or else i’m pulling myself off.” you tease, but he takes that to heart and whines in disappointment. “i’ll be good… i’ll be good, pc, i promise, just please dont, ah… leave me!” you smile at him. “i’m not leaving you dummy, ever.”

neuron activation time……. his eyes widen in disbelief as affection floods his heart. he grips your hips more firmly, thrusting up into you at such an animalistic pace that the poorly constructed bed almost sounds like it'll break. the plush of your ass bounces back on his lap, and it makes him grit his teeth trying to hold back. he has a fire in his eyes, as if his life’s whole purpose now was to make you cum on his cock. he bites down on a nipple like earlier and feels your cunt clench around him. he alternates between bites and hard sucks as his hips thrust desperately upward while you struggle to keep riding him. “that’s a promise, okay? dont! ever! leave! me!” he punctuates each word with a thrust deep into your womb, hell-bent on breeding you.

♡ ┆ it’s not long before stars crowd around your eyes as you two climax together with your own loud moans, his semen flooding the depths of your warmth while your own cum coats his cock and drips down to his balls. your milk drips down your breasts again, and even though kylar is weak, he still manages to find it in himself to lick it up. as you catch your breaths, you two giggle conspiratorially, pressing your foreheads together and exchanging words of pure love and affection for one another… right before going back in for another round. you two rented out this room for an extended period of time, after all.

♡ ┆ now kylar takes whatever opportunity he can to bite and suck on your precious chest, pulling you in school closets or dark alleyways just so he can have a taste of your milk.

♡ ┆ ofc it’s not long until you both rent out a room at the hotel again, you going along with one of his crazy hentai recreations. it ends up with him on your lap and you, jerking off his sensitive cock, rubbing his pre-cum all over his shaft as he has his fill of your milk.

#saccha.txt #degrees of lewdity #dol #dol kylar #kylar the loner #kylar the loner x reader #dol kylar x reader #cow tf! reader

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latenightbreezeinheaven · 1 year

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Synastry aspects with my unforgettable and beloved ex (Personal Experience) *Part-1* 💝👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻

I’ve been feeling quite nostalgic about the memories I had with my first ex in these days. I normally don’t reveal my feelings this because I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to control myself and things would go worse as I tend to be impulsive when I really want something. However, I checked our synastry chart last night as I couldn’t sleep and I saw some lovey-dovey aspects as well as heartbreak aspects so let’s dive into it!🤿

His sun conjuncts my moon

💗This is a traditional soulmate aspect and I also think he’s my soulmate. We broke up because we were too young and our parents forced us to. Also, it was because he was moving to another city. If it had not been like that, I’m pretty sure that we would still be together to this day. He has also told me that he felt that we’re soulmates. I felt very comfortable with him most of the times and he just got me. He understood my feelings and I also could tell his feelings just by looking at him. Our energies also sometimes were mixed up. If he was sad, I was sad too and we were not even in the same place at those times. It was like magic. He was like the Ying to my Yang and Romeo to my Juliet. Even though we don’t have mercury aspects, our conversations were always going with the flow and there was not a single time when we had nothing to say. We were friends and also lovers.👫🏻

His moon conjuncts my Venus

💗This is also very warm and sweet, especially in Cancer. We both were romantic but needless to say, as I have a Venus in 12th house, I made more romantic gestures for him than he did for me. Whenever we were together, we stared at each other while holding hands and we smiled and giggled. It was like a scene from a typical high school romance movie. I loved to hold his hands so much. I felt very safe when I held his hands. I used to hug him from behind and from the front and at those times, I just felt like I was at home even though I was at school where I hated the most. I used to rub his cheeks while holding his hands from the other hand when he cried. I felt appreciated with him and we loved each other’s presence. Lovey-dovey for sure!👀

My moon conjuncts his mars

💗This is known as a “baby making” aspect in synastry from my knowledge. And even though we didn’t have sex and he didn’t even touch my private parts and neither did I, I always felt this electric connection flowing in my body whenever he touched my arms and thighs. My blood boiled suddenly and it was special. I felt like he could be the father of my children lmao😭😂. And I also loved staring at him and brushing off his hair when he slept. He was like a cheerleader for me too. He supported me emotionally and I supported him to take actions to achieve his goals. I was prone to anxiety attacks so I had difficulties in studying but he uplifted me and I also helped him learn by studying with him together. The connection between us felt so traditional though. Most of the time, I loved switching gender roles (not in bed). For instance, I didn’t want to become a housewife who stays at home and takes care of children. But with him, I just wanted to marry him, stay at home, nurture him and our children, cook for them and do typical housewife duties.👰🏻‍♀️

His venus trines my mars

💗That also indicates a sexual attraction but his Venus was in Leo and I am allergic to guys with Venus in Leo. I just don’t get along with them normally because they irritate me. They want someone who they can show off to public and I don’t know his intentions towards me but urgh idk I don’t like Venus Leo men (I love girls though). At this point, I think I played as a masculine role and he was in feminine mood because I kissed him first. Yes you saw it. He wasn’t making any moves so I wasn’t patient anymore and I just kissed him and he was soo surprised because in our country, girls don’t normally kiss first. He told me that it turned him on more but in a romantic way and not sexually.😃

My moon conjuncts his Jupiter

💗We were bubbly together. I laughed with him a lot and our relationship was teemed with giggles and crazy laughs. I enjoyed his company and he enjoyed mine too. I felt expanded intellectually when I was with him and I was willing to do everything together with him such as traveling and trying out adventurous activities. I provided him to open up his feelings but he never fully did.🤷🏻‍♀️

My sun squares his mars

💗We rarely fought during our relationship but there was one fight that I can never forget. At that time, he teased me about a trivial matter and I was so serious about it because I was on a period and I lashed out my anger at him. He didn’t get it and he never retreated and went on teasing me so I didn’t talk to him for 3 days even though he was sitting beside me in the class for all those days. He tried so hard to make me talk to him but I kinda insulted his mom and his exes and then, he fought me back (he was a momma boy, he still is). Our argument was intense and explosive. My mars Aries shot his ass off with non-stop cursing words and he also said that I was selfish and etc. The fight ended with the help of mutual friends but during the argument, it was like two tigers fighting for a piece of beef.🐯

His sun sextiles my Venus

💗I have to admit it. I liked him first and I kind of flirted with him. He flirted me back and we got together. From the first time I saw him, I had this lil crush on him like he was my type even though he didn’t meet my expectations. I adored him the way he was. I just felt so positive about him and he told me he felt it too.

My north node squares his moon

💗I have seen in a post on tumblr (I don’t remember the original author sorry) that those people whose personal planets make square aspect to your north node may drag you down or delay you in some way. In other words, they may be the reason for delays and restrictions to get to your life purpose. His moon squares my north node and I had to process our break up for about a year because of his feelings and mine. I don’t know how to explain this but I felt emotionally stuck with him like I could not escape from my own emotions and I felt that he was the one responsible for it.

My Lilith conjuncts his Venus

💗It’s really interesting to see this pattern going on with me because there are 3 guys that I can never forget in my life and two of them have their Venus conjunct my Lilith. I’ve read countless posts about Lilith contacts and I still don’t clearly get who is more obsessed with who but I’m pretty sure I was the one more obsessed with both of them. I couldn’t let go of them even after a long time. This guy and I broke up 3 years ago and look at me, I’m still here, writing a post about the synastry between him and I😭😂. Plus, I felt that I could show my Lilith side to him without worrying about being judged. So if any of you have experiences with Lilith conjunct venus, please share yours freely because I’m so curious!!😩

His Lilith conjuncts my mercury

💗He was obsessed with the way I talked. He told me to talk more with him about various topics because he felt good hearing my voice. I find this funny because my word usages are not even attractive and my voice is also not hot but he said he loved it. He didn’t like it too when I talked to other people, even to my older cousin brother. Pretty bit of a tiny red flag but I was so in love with him so I was blind at that time.😪

My Chiron opposes his Venus

💗This is also a same pattern because I was always heartbroken by guys who had their Venus in aspect with my chiron (not only opposition). People say that Venus conjunction chiron is a marriage aspect and it’s very healing but I got major traumas from a guy whose Venus conjunct my chiron so hmm umm excuse me!? Back to my ex, his Venus is in opposition with my chiron and it was not healing at all. AT ALL. He traumatized me. His parents traumatized me. His friends traumatized me. Honestly, it’s very complicated to explain but the reason why I got bullied and slut-shamed at school is because of him. But those experiences made me stronger and more mature. It brought me to where I am right now and that’s why I don’t regret it. It hurt me so much though. Like a sword in my heart.😔

His Saturn conjuncts my ascendant

💗So, I don’t have much to say about this aspect but I felt insecure with him at some times. Especially when it came to my daily activities and my appearance. I felt that I wasn’t pretty enough and I felt ashamed to mention what I did in my daily life. But this is not very personal because most guys from my class had their Saturn conjunct my ascendant as Saturn moves not so fast and those guys were at the same age with me. In a way, I felt insecure about my appearance with people who were at the same age with me.

His moon conjuncts my ascendant

💗I’m not very sure about this because I don’t know his birth time and the moon can differ from 1-10 degrees forward or backward depending on the birth time. But his moon is at 15 degrees (without birth time) and my ascendant is at 21 degrees, so it conjuncts as of now. I felt at ease with him as I mentioned earlier but I’m going to talk more about this aspect in my later post because his moon is in my 12th house and I have a lot to say about that. Even creepy and paranormal stuffs.🥶

His chiron conjuncts my descendant

💗I searched it up on Google and I saw that the chiron person is destined to give the descendant person a lesson in whatever ways and that is absolutely true. He brought lessons into my life and I’m really grateful for those and interestingly, back in those days, most guys in my class also had their chiron conjunct my descendant and they also brought me lessons and lessons and lessons. The whole class didn’t speak to me FYI. And also the whole school. That’s okay now because I realized that being alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely and you can feel lonely even though you’re going out with friends if you’re not in the right circle.

Anyways, I had to write this out because my heart was crying out for him so much and the only thing I can do at this time is writing this and recalling some sweet memories we shared. I have a love-hate relationship with him and currently, I miss him so much and wanna talk to him but I can’t. I wanna g we back with him kinda but as my friend said, there was a reason why I broke up with him and why I blocked him on social media so I shouldn’t go back.

This is the end of this post and remember these are not facts. These are just my personal experiences so take them with a pinch of salt!! Thank you for reading to the end and have a nice day!❤️

•There is gonna be a part-2 for the synastry with this ex and I will be mentioning about house overlays in that post but mainly about moon in 12th house so stay tuned!✨

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tadc-ragatha · 6 months

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It's Symbolic - Chapter 1: Puke

TW: Screaming, (painless) torture (what Pomni went through in the teaser), vomit/general sickness, centipedes (bugs), knives, a large/dangerous animal, (censored) swearing

Type: Fic; platonic

A/N: "You wake up somewhere new feeling very, very sick." Teen gender-neutral reader. Based on a post of mine available here [x]. I did my best here alright. I'm still working my way into characterisation.

"What—what's going on?! What the hell is going on?!" a voice screamed.

You looked around. Everything was a fuzzy mixture of dark colours, and your head was spinning. Reaching out, you grabbed onto the ground and tried to feel your way around.

"Now, are you ready for the show to begin?" a different more masculine voice boomed. A silence followed. "I said, are you ready?"

You were feeling at wooden plank flooring. Everything was dark, making it hard to find your way around as you felt like your brain was going to explode. Vomit was filling its way up your throat as you struggled to get to your feet.

"I'm ready, Caine!" said a third voice. It was cartoonishly cheerful and pierced into your brain.

Your legs giving way once more, you decided to crawl your way forward. It was hard to tell what direction you were going with your eyes yet to adjust to the darkness. However, feeling with your hands, you felt yourself brush up against a soft fabric. Using it as a guide, you crawled in its direction.

Yet just as your head was beginning to calm, a loud drum roll erupted. Instantly, your head was pounding again, and the nausea returned. Threatening to spill, you clamped your hand over your mouth.

Only, as you did so, you did not feel your mouth nor your hand. Instead, you felt thick hair all over your face and a cold round piece of metal. Moving your hand around, nothing changed. Every inch of your body was covered in long hair. Except for your hands, which as you felt them were wide slightly curved in metal circles—nothing like a normal human hand.

The drum roll stopped as a bounty of music filled the air. It was so much louder than the drums and sent your head splitting. With a sharp inhale, you tried to crawl through the pain. But with each crawl you were met with the music becoming louder. They were ear-splitting, head-smashing, brain-melting circus tunes.

"First up," the masculine voice who you assumed was Caine continued, "we have our jester Pomni on the amazing knife-throwing wheel!"

A "fwip" sound followed by a thud was heard.

"Hey! hey!" the voice from the start pleaded; one you assumed belonged to the so-called jester Pomni. "I didn't sign up for this! Let me go!"

Next you noted on the list of ear bleeding-inducing sounds was a comically stereotypical sound of something metal being revealed. You assumed it was a knife. And you guessed you were correct, as based on the blood-curdling screams from Pomni as the knife hit something with a thud.

The screams died down as Caine went on to say, "next up, the mind-boggling Gangle with her comically large and dangerous pet tiger!"

You heard the fwip and thud again, which was no help to your increasing headache. The tiger growled from somewhere nearby. Vomit was threatening to shoot out your mouth again. You spat all the saliva you could get out.

From the same direction as the growl was blubbering. Soon, it turned into full blown crying as the tiger growled louder. But you didn't care; the headache was too much.

The tiger's growling came to a stop as you heard the schlop of something wet hitting the floor. Yet the crying continued. Meanwhile, Caine went on to introduce something else.

"And now, our bravest Ragatha will dive head-first into a pool of writhing centipedes!"

"Caine!" a feminine voice complained. You heard the fwip and thud a third time. "You know how much I hate centipedes!"

"Is she going to do it?" The cheery voice asked.

Caine replied, "well, Bubble, I don't know! Why don't we give her a little encouragement?"

"Wait! No! No, no, no--hold on!" Ragatha pleaded. Without what you assumed was any care, something happened to Ragatha and she started screaming.

It was starting to get hard to spit the saliva out without having vomit come up your throat. As you tried to spit some more out, a pile of bile spilled out of your guts and onto the floor. Everything was spinning again as you felt another wave of vomit coming up. Finally, you gave up on moving and sat there on your hands and knees trying to keep steady.

"And now, please put your hands together for Kinger and his--" Caine was cut off. As the fwip was heard once more, light poured into your eyes as you gave in and puked your guts out. Wave after wave and pile after pile of pure bile spilled out of your mouth and onto the floor. It was too painful to take in the gasps around you, nor the fact that your vomit was black like ink.

Slowly, the spewing came to a halt. As you looked down, you finally saw what a mess you had made, and how your body did not at all look like how it was supposed to. Where you could feel hair was exactly that—thick long brown strands of hair covering everything—and where you could feel metal were gold circular metal plates. Cymbals.

"Looks like someone had a rough transition!" Bubble exclaimed.

Wearily, you looked up and around to try and get a sense of what you were dealing with. All around you were six strange figures of different colours, sizes, and proportions. Levitating in the air were two of the figures; one a clear bubble-like sphere with sharp teeth and beady black eyes, and another that seemed to be a living set of teeth and eyes atop a red suit. A giant tub of centipedes, a tiger, and a dart board sat off to the side.

The sphere, who you assumed was Bubble with its cheery voice, levitated towards you. Opening its mouth, you froze. All that ran through your mind was based on the screams of terror you had heard you were going to die. Yet just as you closed your eyes and prepared for impact, Bubble stuck out its tongue and began to lick at the puke.

The teeth man sighed. Based on his voice you assumed he was Caine. But his expression quickly changed as he pointed his cane towards you.

"Well, it seems our activity for today has been interrupted by a new human entering the realm!" He smiled.

From behind you, a red curtain was lifted up. From underneath, a purple rabbit poked his head out. He walked out into the area, took one look at the mess you made, and grimaced.

"What the hell is goin' on here?" he asked. "Is this a new sucker?"

"Not a new sucker, Jax," Caine responded, "but a new friend!”

You groaned. Your entire throat was burning from the bile and your headache was worse than ever. The sudden light made your eyes hurt. Meanwhile, you were trying to take in all the information around you. Reaching up to your face, you tried to grab at something around your eyes. But there was nothing there.

“Where am I? Where’s the headset?” you mumbled.

All of a sudden, you felt yourself be yanked up by the arm. A new wave of vomit threatened to spill. Looking up, you found yourself face to face with Caine.

He said, “my dear, you have stumbled into the world of the Digital Circus!”

“I’m gonna be sick—”

“Now, now, no time for being sick here!” he cut you off. “You’ve made your way into the world of wonder and amazement!” he paused. “Hence the name.”

“What the hell is going on?” a different voice called out. Poking their head out from behind the same curtain Jax emerged from, they revealed itself as a strange amalgamation of different brightly coloured shapes. The two eyes on their pink triangle head widened when it saw you. “What the f-%$@!#?” they yelled, the curse word they said bleeped out in real time. “Another one?! Pomni was only a week ago!”

“Zooble! Language!” Caine pointed at her with the cane in his hand. Zooble didn’t say anything.

“Okay, everyone, let’s just calm down.” A different person stepped forward. She wasn’t the shortest of the bunch—being taller than the small jester you assumed was Pomni shivering off to the side with knives stuck in her—but she wasn’t the tallest, either. Flicking a centipede off her long dress, she said, “you know how stressful this can be. Let’s just take a minute to help them adjust.”

“Come on, Ragatha.” Jax rolled his eyes.

“Who…Who are you people?” You looked around the room.

Jax put his fist on his hip and cocked his head to the side, grinning.

“Why don’t you tell me who you are?” His smile spread wider, showing off a set of yellow cartoonish teeth. It concerned you how he managed to speak without opening them.

“Jax!” Ragatha snapped.

“I’m…” you started. Jax continued to stare at you, still smiling. “My name is…”

“Can’t remember?” he finally spoke up.

You turned away from the group. With your head resting on your hand—or cymbal—you tried to think. The headache was still pounding in your head, and it was hard to formulate any thoughts. Wracking your brain for an answer for a good few minutes, your breath started to quicken. Slowly, the answer dawned upon you.

“Oh my God!” you groaned. Jax chuckled from the side. “Oh my God! What’s my name?!”

“Don’t fret, my dear.” Caine rested a hand on your shoulder. “Nobody can remember their name here! One beauty of coming to the digital world is being able to form a whole new identity for yourself! So, what would your dream name be?”

“What’s my name?” you mumbled.

Caine cleared his throat, repeating, “I said, what would your dream name be?”

“I—I don’t—uh, [Y/N]. What’s my name?” You tried to rest your face in your hands; it was uncomfortable.

“[Y/N] it is!” He spun up into the air, voice booming. Meanwhile, tears pricked at the corners of your eyes.

“I just wanna go home. How do I go home?”

He cleared his throat, “well, um…There—well, there is no…Exit, per se.”

“Wh—what?!” you spluttered.

You looked at the group for answers. Instead, they looked at you with varying degrees of frowns and upturned eyebrows. Except for Jax, who grinned, and Zooble, who looked at you with a claw on his hip.

“How old are you?” they asked. “You don’t sound any older than seventeen.”

“I’m fifteen,” you replied. “How—why—why’s there no exit? How do I leave?”

“Fif—” she cut herself off. “Holy f-%$@!#, Caine! What’s your problem?!”

Caine gasped, “‘fifteen’? My, my! Finally, a real young person here to enjoy the Digital Circus!”

“What, you sayin’ I’m not young?” Jax scoffed.

Zooble groaned, multicoloured and oddly shaped antennae on her head twitching, “God, Jax, just shut up for one second. This is a child!”

“Fifteen?” a meek voice sounded from off to the side. Looking over, you saw a spring of red ribbon with ribbon legs and arms. Lying on the ground beside it was a broken mask, the same material and colour as the crying face mask it wore.

From beside them, Pomni watched. Eyes darting from person to person, she looked extremely uncomfortable with the commotion. Slowly, she backed up from the group.

“What’s going on?” she whispered. Nobody took notice.

“Okay, okay, listen!” Ragatha tried to instruct them. “Our number one priority should be making sure [Y/N] feels safe and comfortable here, not fighting with each other!”

“You’re right, Ragatha!” Caine said, voice still jolly. “Poor [Y/N] here hasn’t even gotten a tour of the grounds yet!” He lowered down to reach for your arm.

Ragatha reached out her own arm to block him, yelling, “wait! Caine, would it be alright if we did the tour later? I think [Y/N] would like to see their room first, right, [Y/N]?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was spinning, but no longer from the headache or dizziness. While the nausea had subsided, your thoughts were swarming you. Theories and concerns flooded your brain, nagging at your conscious and slowly tearing it down. Sitting there on the ground with your head in your cymbal-hands, you swayed back and forth.

“Right. Well, I’ll let you get to that. Come on, Bubble,” he called the sphere over to him. Once it was within reach, he popped it. With that, he bowed with his top hat and disappeared in a poof of smoke, the tiger going with him.

For a few seconds nobody spoke. Looking up, you saw Zooble’s antennae still twitching while they frowned at Jax, who watched you with an open-mouthed smile. Ragatha took a deep breath and walked over to you. Holding out her hand, you took it, and she pulled you up to your feet.

“You can tell Kinger it’s safe to come out now.” She motioned to a pile of pillows behind the group. From inside popped out the head of a giant white chess piece. It wore a purple king’s robe; its uneven eyes blinked out of sync.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Y—yeah, what’s going on?” Pomni asked, still shaking.

Ragatha answered, “we’re going to take our newest friend [Y/N] to their room. Anyone want to come?”

Nobody answered, until the ribbon figure spoke up, saying, “okay.”

“Great! Come on Gangle. [Y/N], I’ll show you around.” Taking your hand in hers, she and Gangle walked towards the edge of the stage. Looking back, you saw the group watching you intently. But no sooner had you looked over at them that you were pulled away, view blocked by a black curtain.

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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months

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Medic X gn!Reader: Songe d'Automne

ah yes, A fanfiction that dives into the popular fan theory whether Medic cares about his team or not due to his initial description. Let’s go.

He hated everybody. Or so you often think. It was impossible to catch him without that sadistic grin whenever bathed in the blood of his enemies, or the glare whenever you asked him a science related question he deemed too obvious. But you felt something for him nonetheless. Whether it be pity for his sorry attitude or genuine affection. You didn’t quite know for sure.

The year was 1969. The cold breeze was chilling to your very core. Brilliant colors bringing fourth new sights once again like they do every year. Greeting you warmly with her open arms — autumn gracefully dawns her gown of gold and washes over the mountain base. Being stationed in the cold mountains was the very last thing you suspected from the Administrator. But the Gravel Wars had to move there for whatever reason nonetheless. Just in time for the season. You stood atop the base and looked over the sea of brown, orange, and yellow. Feeling nostalgic for the morning air and the leaves twirling to the ground for you like a million ballet dancers.

But not just leaves were content on riding the wind today. You heard the faintest drag of a violin. A beautiful song that sounded not depressing, not sad, not happy, but pensive.

You turnt your head to the source. Down below on the second floor of the base to the left was the Medbay. The window was wide open and you could hear the sweet melody coming from there.

That’s quite something.

You think Medic’s catholic and overall angelic aesthetic couldn’t get any more blunt. It was no mistake that the doctor carried himself with dignity and poshness. He waltzed around with the mysterious beauty of femininity and the physique of masculinity. His lab coat always resembled wings whenever he jumped down from a high place to rescue a teammate and the beautiful wedding doves that accompanied him reminded you of an angel who spoke to animals. He was indeed by all means an angel of death. A man who appeared as divine intervention but slaughtered his enemies with the insanity of Lucifer himself. — And he was playing a violin.

You made your way downstairs and hurried yourself over to the Medbay. Eager to get a look at what you were hearing. The closer you got to the source, the more you recognized the tune. Without a shadow of a doubt what you were hearing was the blessed Songe d’Automne. You remember hearing it on an old edison cylinder that your teacher had back in grade school.

You peaked through the slightly ajar door. Your eyes on the tall silhouette that stood in the very center of his quarters. His lab coat and medipack were still on him despite it being after work hours. He held the violin against his chin and worked the bow flawlessly without a sheet. His doves watching him from above on various medical tech and the ceiling beams; some laid dormant and asleep whilst some were curiously bobbing their head towards his direction.

For a second, you didn’t want to disturb your own peace. Although Medic was dangerous and you didn’t even know if he was capable of empathy, he certainly conveyed a lot of emotion through that song. Particularly an inherent desire for a clearer mind. You began to wonder as you listened if he maybe overthought stuff, loved, and cried just like you did.

You opened the door to meet him and he slowly took his bow from the instrument. Evidently hearing your approach. He opened his eyes and stared you down for a moment.

“Yes?” He asked.

You didn’t quite know what to say to him. In all honesty, you were enjoying the music. It was helping you relax after a long stressful day. You rubbed your own arm with your other hand to convey your nervousness to him.

“Can you play some more? It makes me feel safe.” You say. You decide that if Medic is going to be difficult with his emotions then you won’t.

You hear a deafening silence for a second. Followed by a heavy sigh. He brought the bow back to the strings and kept playing. This gesture was telling whether he liked it or not. A heartless man would’ve simply insulted you and shooed you away.

You get up on the hospital bed and curl up for a bit. Allowing yourself peace in the dimly lit Medbay. Normally all sorts of shenanigans and chaos would happen around here but it was a house of healing all the same. Medic was capable of breaking every bone in the human body.. But also healing them. If Medic was such a heartless man — why take it upon himself to build something so passionate?

You find yourself nodding off at the indirect comfort he gave you. Drifting quickly into slumber as your body found relaxation. Whatever you were worrying about could wait. Your peace of mind was more important at this moment.

Then you wake up hours later..

With a blanket neatly laid upon your body.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #medic x reader #medic tf2 #heavy x reader #spy x reader #demoman x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #pyro x reader #sniper x reader

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wonderbutch · 2 years

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Cassie Sandsmark’s Relationship With Femininity

ok so i want to dive more into cassie sandsmarks character and her relationships.

throughout her comic appearances, gender, femininity, sexuality and lack thereof is very prominent in cassie sandsmarks character. Its shown as soon as she appears. shes 14, short haired and wears baggy clothes and overall gives off the stereotypical tomboy vibe which continues on and off throughout her young justice appearances, but she also battles deeply with what she really wants.

she also clearly shows multiple times that she wants, or thinks she wants boys, specifically superboy (kon-el) to like her, going as far as to join young justice to see him (although i have more thoughts on this which ill get to later)

she also shows jealousy towards cissie because of kons attention to her.

HOWEVER i have reason to believe that this is born of compulsive heterosexuality and a misguided attempt at displaying her need for attention and validation (often from guys because, again, comphet).

for example, here it mentions that cassie cant stop thinking about cissie “doing something romantic” with superboy.

which, i may be reaching here, but if she was truly romantically interested in kon, wouldn’t she mention him first rather than cissie? also, she mentions shes not thrilled that boys are looking at her, even though she thought thats what she used to want.

later on she becomes best friends with cissie, almost instantly after seeing her stick up for others, going as far as to literally fall asleep holding her hand. you cant tell me thats not at least a little gay.

as shown before multiple times, cassie strives for companionship and attention, its not a bad thing, in fact it further shows that cassie is kindhearted and loves those around her deeply, even if they don’t necessarily feel the same or treat her well (for example, the boys are constantly underestimating her in the early issues, especially kon who goes as far to be outwardly shocked when she takes a risk and turns out to be right)

(this isnt hate against kon, theyre all learning and figuring stuff out)

but after cissie leaves the team, which cassie doesn’t take very well, her “attraction” to kon seems to fade away, she also seems to be slightly more aware of the fact that kon doesn’t exactly take her completely seriously.

after young justice: sins of youth, cassie sheds the wig and the shorts and swaps to jeans and a leather jacket which is more “masculine”. she also refers to her old outfit, which could be seen as symbolic of her comphet, as her “what was i thinking phase”

despite seeming more sure of herself, shes still battling with who she is and how she wants to be, she gets angrier and moodier, which is touched on in issue 22

she doesn’t know what she wants, and it scares her. shes 14-15 and a superhero and people have expectations for her, she has expectations for herself too, which she often projects onto other people (which ill mention later when i get to her in teen titans) shes only sure of a few things: she wants to be a hero, she wants her best friend back, she wants to be taken seriously. between those three things though? she has no idea.

around her, everything is breaking down. cissie is struggling with her mother and cassie (for the most part) had a healthy upbringing and doesn’t know how to relate and help cissie with that. despite this, she still has unrealistic expectations of cissie. she doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to be a hero because cassie has always wanted that, and wants cissie to want that too.

so, we get to issue 35 where everything comes to a head with cissie.

she refuses to listen to cissie even though time and time again shes told. after cissie proves a point, cassie finally starts to understand (although she still pushes it a few times in the next issue)

and then after going through a war and having tim and bart leave, and tim come back, and suddenly shes running for leader and confesses to “kon” that she loved him, or thought she loved him, and then she is leader and shes handling a full on invasion of zandia.

so needless to say, cassie doesn’t really have time to think about herself and her identity. at this point her hair has grown significantly, and she’s no longer acting entirely like herself.

so this all happens, greta betrays everyone (deserved) and then suddenly shes human and then donna dies which cassie takes very hard.

a pattern ive noticed is that the more disconnected from herself that she gets, and the more angrier, she changes her appearance to be more feminine, like she’s in denial or at least trying to hide behind femininity so she doesn’t have to admit her own emotions to herself.

as she starts a somewhat vague relationship with conner, she never really refers to him as her boyfriend, often using the word friend instead, despite conner referring to her as his girlfriend.

she also starts to project this idea of femininity and repression, specifically onto raven. when raven expresses considerable discomfort at wearing a dress, cassie counters this with a “you said you wanted to expand your wardrobe”, like she wants raven to be what she’s trying to be. feminine, happy and without fault.

later, she mentions her previous appearance, ambitions, and seems to have a sense of hatred for her previous self, despite in all accounts she was quite happy and open during that period in her life.

to me, cassie’s femininity is a way to hide her true self. its the way she can feel better and not as confused, and try to be someone shes not by just denying the way she really feels.

in conclusion cassie is a butch lesbian thank u for reading this makes absolutely no sense but idc bc the cassie brainrot is real and has taken hold

#cassie sandsmark #character analysis #does this make sense #wonder girl #dc comics #lesbian cassie sandsmark #queer cassie sandsmark #young justice 1998 #young justice #teen titans #teen titans 2003 #teen titans v3 #quinn shut the fuck up challenge #cissiecassie

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jasontoddssuper · 6 months

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Okay so speaking as a long time fanfic author and aspiring books author,Percy works best as a trans girl from a writing standpoint and not just because she'd be extremely good rep.Percy being a cis guy who's stereotypically masculine is forced characterization because she has no reason to want to be one-She had no positive male role models growing up.There were definitely male teachers who were mean-spirited to her as much as female ones,Poseidon abandoned her and even after they met he prioritized her or at least treated her like a father who genuinely loves his daughter out of just her being his child instead obligation a grand total of zero times,Smelly Gabe is self-explanatory and Luke abused her too right from the start by gaslighting her.All she had was Sally so it's realistic that Percy would think women are better than men and not give a shit about being manly and preferring femininity

It's semi-canon that Percy has a trauma based dislike of men if we're looking at subtext-In the og series,she speaks much more positively of the girls around than she does the boys and she actually trash talks the latter while using being hypermasculinity as an insult,such as implying Ares is ugly multiple times.And one of the three male friends she has vs being friends with almost every girl in her age range?Nico,Pjo's first canon mlm.This just absolutely screams 'baby gays spotting eachother without either knowing they're not cishet yet' and it's only added on to by how devoted they are to eachother despite the problems in their relathionship.Plus,just sayin',but the explicit reason Nico got over his crush on Percy is that she wasn't a traditional male hero like he thought she was

On similar note,Rachel is a lot like many irl lesbians and her and Percy remain besties after their break up and the first point applies to Reyna too,who liked Percy and likewise after taking away the posibility of romance to their dynamic,they remained great friends and it's a common tgirl experience to still be close to all your ex girlfriends in a platonic way post-egg cracking.Percy reminds me so much of so many of my trans woman friends in tons of ways and i've seen others say the same and back to my first point,the logical conclusion to Percy hating having to be a man who's super masculine is to make her a woman who's super feminine so she can be happy so this all comes full circle

And onto specifics for the Pjo storylines and developments,Percy gains even more depth if she's a trans woman.A self admitted former 'troubled kid' who just wants to be normal but is always getting shoved into a role she dosen't want by people who think they know better than her despite barely knowing her,Luke's fixation on targeting younger girls can be told as a feminist tale by having her the hero of the prophecy instead of him and also be the one to kill him to avenge her female friends and you cannot tell me that the idea of the protagonist of one of the best children's books series out there being a trans girl who's got bad social skills,anger issues and merciless tendencies but never gets demonized for them,is the funniest person in the whole franchise,hyperfemme too and the fucking daughter of Poseidon isn't based as all fuck

She would also help Annabeth's character development by teaching her to not be a pick me anymore and Annabeth would thank her by teaching her to be more self-confident,Nico and her would've become found siblings and Nico and eventually Hazel could've even been adopted by Sally because of it,her transfemininity would've changed the angles of her dynamics with the gods to make them make more interesting,we could dive into how Pjoverse greco-roman mythos play into transgenderism and other types of queerness,Percy's already canon present Team Mom habits and hinted love for cute and 'kiddy' things would be used to their full potential like they deserve,it opens to door to an even more interesting potential romantic dynamic with Jason and there's definitely way more

I'm not sure how to end this so i will make a /hj:Percy Jackson is a female protagonist of all time

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thatrandommatildafan · 1 month

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My contribution to the James Potter in a crop top fest

@ye-olde-trojan-horse it's here hehe (praying to every god out there he likes this because his writing is *chef's kiss*)

@croptopjames happy to serve this community 🫡

My Idiot

Word count: 1023

TW for mentions of transphobia and dysphoria, it's mostly people gossiping and Reg being insecure about his gender (are his insecurities based on mine? possibly 👀)

“Dora?”

Pandora opened her eyes.

It was late at night and everyone else in the dorm was asleep, if Pandora went by the snores of Barty who was practically laying on Evan, and the smile Dorcas always made when she was dreaming.

It was one of their monthly sleepovers, since, with Dorcas not getting along well with the girls in her dorm and Pandora being in Ravenclaw, they didn't get the chance to meet up apart from meal times and classes. They’d organized their first sleepover together in second year, when Dorcas had come into the boys’ dorm saying she’d had a nightmare, and Barty sent Regulus to get Pandora, since he was the only one able to solve the puzzle needed to open the common room. They spent the whole night in Barty’s bed, holding onto each other for comfort.

It was now 4 years later, and Pandora turned their head around to see Regulus, who was the one who’d called her. He looked worried.

“Yes?” Pandora asked. Regulus usually didn't talk this late at night, especially with other people around.

“You know how i’ve been out to the school for a few weeks?”

Pandora frowned. She didn't like the way this was going. “Yes?”

“I’m a bit afraid of wearing the male uniform. In front of everyone, I mean.”

“Oh.” Pandora couldn't help but relax. They smiled softly.

After Regulus ran away two months ago, he was able to come out as trans to the whole school, and simultaneously make his relationship with James public. There were some negative reactions, but those were toned down pretty fast by James and his friends. Regulus still struggled to talk to Sirius, but he was slowly getting closer to the Gryffindors, especially Lily and Remus.

“Do you want to talk about it?”Regulus silently nodded, before taking a deep breath, and diving in.

“I feel like an imposter every time I make sure to look masculine. If I was an actual boy, I wouldn't need to make such an effort to look like one. I know it’s just my brain talking, but it’s still hard to ignore.” He lowered his head.

Pandora placed their hand on his shoulder. “Do I look feminine sometimes?”

Regulus looked back up at her. “Yes.”

“And do I have to do stuff like wear a binder or wear masculine makeup so people see me more as androgynous?" “Yes."

“Does that make my identity any less valid?”Regulus sat up, frowning. “What? No!”

Pandora laughed, bringing him down to a laying position to avoid waking up the others. “And that applies to you as well. You can wear the uniform now, or tomorrow, or never. It’s your choice. But do it because you want to, not because others want you to.”

Regulus relaxed, and put his hand on Pandora’s. “I love you.”

They couldn't help but smile. “I love you too, Reg.”

***

the next morning

As Regulus walked into the Great Hall, wearing the male uniform, he couldn't help but notice a few whispers from people looking over at him. He took a deep breath, remembering Pandora’s words, and walked to his assigned spot at the Slytherin table, between Dorcas and Barty.

The two of them welcomed him, and, with the help of Evan, properly hid him off from the other tables and cussed off the ones who dared to look. Regulus looked down at his plate, feeling self conscious, and stared at the table as he felt the looks of others digging into his skin.

He started to regret his choice, even considering going back to his dorm right now. He repeated Pandora’s words of comfort as a mantra in his head, hoping to empty his mind.

He was taken out of his spiraling by the sound of a door opening suddenly, and talking all around the room. He whipped his head up, and what he saw was one of the most unexpected but delightful sights he’d ever encountered.

James was walking to his table as usual, except for the small detail that caused every student to whisper along themselves and a few wolf whistles to fly through the room.

James was wearing a crop top. A fucking crop top.

Along with his usual uniform trousers, he was wearing an old Quidditch jersey that was cut up to his belly button. And Salazar on a cross did he look good in it.

Regulus looked around for any form of clue as to why his boyfriend was parading in a crop top, and all he found was Pandora's eyes, looking at him from the Ravenclaw table with a knowing grin on her face.

They told him.

Regulus could feel his cheeks heating up as he saw James casually sit down at the Gryffindor table as if everything was normal, and couldn't help but stare at his boyfriend more than usual, that is.

“What’s up Regulus? Not feeling so well? Your cheeks are a bit too red, you must be sick.”

Regulus turned his head to see Barty with a face-splitting grin on his face, then turned the other way to see Dorcas and Evan looked the same

they were all in this. Dumbasses.

Regulus felt a smile climb up on his face.

They did this for me. So I wouldn't feel bad.

“But hey, At least I can see the appeal now. I get it, Potter’s smoking hot. Would you mind sharing, actually?”

And fuck no. That was not possible, in any sort of way.

Regulus only now realised all of the whistles going around the room, and he got up without a thought.

He shrugged off Barty’s calls and practically ran up to the Gryffindor table.

As he arrived close to James’ spot, his boyfriend looked up with a smile. “Hi, Reg! You-” James was interrupted as Regulus grabbed him by the collar, forced him up on his feet and kissed him in front of the whole school, one hand on his collar and the other at the back of his head.

As they parted away, James now a blushing, stuttering mess, Regulus smiled.

“You’re an idiot.”

My idiot.

#this is so short #but it's sweet #I like it #marauders #jegulus #croptopjamesfest #marauders era #fanfic #james x regulus #i love genderqueer pandora

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number1villainstan · 1 month

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hnnnngrh an RGU Meta Idea has me in a chokehold so bear with me while i brainvomit about saionji and his masculinity vs the ideal of 'prince' and how it plays into the power hierarchies ohtori sets up

he's the very first antagonist we encounter, right? literally our first impression of him is "he hit that poor defenseless girl! that he was supposed to be dating!!! what's wrong with him!!!!" and then he rejects wakaba's love letter and utena duels him and the show kicks off. our very first impressions of him in the very first episode are that he's mean, he's cruel, he's inconsiderate, even that he's a brute. that--and this part is important--he is Masculine In A Bad Way. in ohtori everything is tied up in gender, and saionji is assigned the labels of 'man' and 'masculine', and so when he does bad things he is doing bad things as a man, right? he is, of course, hurting people, but more importantly to my point he is not performing manhood in an acceptable way. his masculinity is somehow corrupt or lacking or Wrong. in this way utena's victory over saionji in the first duel isn't just a triumph of "good" over "evil", it's a triumph of specifically utena's Good Masculinity (protective, sympathetic, princely) over saionji's Bad Masculinity (cruel, inconsiderate, not princely). rgu doesn't give a specific name to Bad Masculinity like it does to Good Masculinity (prince), Good Femininity (princess or bride), or Bad Femininity (witch) (possibly because akio is metaphorically the one behind the camera and doesn't want to draw attention to the idea of Bad Masculinity in a way that might allow women a legitimate advantage over men, possibly because outside of rgu there's no corresponding specific fairytale role for Bad Masculinity) but it's still there and, more importantly, it's still being used to uphold the hierarchies and illusions of ohtori

because if we go back to the idea of Good vs Bad Masculinity, and then we take the rest of the show into account, we see that Good Masculinity isn't 'good' because it helps people or reduces harm, but because it upholds the systemic hierarchies and dichotomies of Ohtori. the role of 'prince,' the term for and model of Good Masculinity, is inherently a limiting one for both the 'prince' himself and the 'princesses' he saves. which makes that first duel no longer straightforwardly a positive thing, but among other things a reinforcement of those same harmful hierarchies and dichotomies.

and of course saionji isn't actually the archetype of Bad Masculinity (which i want to call the 'brute', but i'm not sure i want to dive into the racial/imperialistic connotations of 'brute' vs 'prince' in this post) that he's presented as in the first episode. he's a character in his own right, and throughout the series we see that this first impression we got is, while not entirely wrong, at best a surface-level reading of saionji and the roles he plays in the narrative. and what illustrates this tension between impression and reality best is how he acts when wakaba's keeping him in her apartment: as the essay Fight/Flight, Rest/Relaxation by Giovanna points out, possibly the only time that saionji is every truly happy or relaxed is when he's staying with wakaba--in other words, when we see him outside the systems of ohtori. of course, that happiness isn't totally pure either, because wakaba is using saionji as her Shining Thing so that she can go from the non-special side of one of Ohtori's dichotomy to the special side, because unlike saionji at that point wakaba is still participating in those same systems. and yet. when working inside the systems of ohtori saionji is cruel, uncaring, rude, mean. outside the systems of ohtori saionji is happy, relaxed, straightforward and honest and genuine and kind, even.

and in the end that's the key, isn't it? now we understand his behavior in the first episode not as caused by his being a Bad Person. there are no Bad People in RGU, save perhaps akio. no, now we understand his behavior here as a kid, lashing out and hurting people because he's hurting, because he lives in a system in which violence is presented as the solution, because no one taught him how to manage his own emotions and he has no access to or knowledge of that information. because he's a kid growing up in a system that turns his emotions and his straightforwardness against him because they're a threat to that same system. saionji is assigned the archetype of Bad Masculinity not because he hurts people but because his native personality threatens the system. and when that same system begins to repress those innate parts of himself, when he's angry and in pain, the system teaches him to lash out and make other people hurt like he hurts, reinforcing the emotional isolation, reinforcing his pain, reinforcing the roles the system imposes on him and the shallow image those roles project to other people. he's angry and miserable because he's isolated by the system, the system teaches him to lash out and push people away, people respond to that by not getting close which reinforces his isolation. the cycle continues, one gear among many, revolution after revolution after revolution and nothing changes.

but there's hope. there's a glimmer of another path here, and it lies again in that contradiction. the cycle is one of violence; it takes work to maintain ignorance. outside of those cycles, the systems of ohtori, saionji is no longer bound to that path, no longer cast as the Bad Masculine. when he's living with wakaba, all that anger and pain disappears, almost, and he flourishes. if he can leave the system he can break the cycle. a gear fixed in place in a machine turns and turns and turns and gets nowhere; a gear fallen out of the machine can roll forward for a great distance.

all girls are like the rose bride. all boys are like the duelist. and all of us are trapped in this hell of human making...unless we choose, like anthy did, like saionji could have, to walk away.

#saionji kyouichi #kyouichi saionji #rgu #revolutionary girl utena #sku #shoujo kakumei utena #rgu meta #sku meta #also touga definitely plays a role in how saionji's masculinity is shaped and repressed but i didn't get into it here #there's also something to be said about how rgu problematizes morality/moral character but i also didn't get into that here #anyways this show is incredible

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kinkyintherealworld · 1 month

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Sissification - a toxic construction of femininity or getting off on outdated social constructs?

Becca here. 😀

First… I LOVE THAT YOU STARTED THIS DISCUSSION!!!! Thank you so much @youngchastity - who wrote to us (and tagged us in a post) for some healthy discussion around the sissification kink. We’ve definitely had a few things to say about it on the podcast, as have our guests. You can read his post, that started this conversation, here

Rather than speak for both of us at @kinkyintherealworld, I’m going to jump in and answer this from my point of view.

@youngchastity I love your thoughts on gender - I totally agree. I actually reblogged a post by @necromimetics the other day that said:

“can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.”

And I agree - we’re all a wibbly-wobbly swirl of masculine, feminine, and everything in between energies, and everyone has their own unique blend. Trying to squash us into labels is lame as hell.

I like to think I am never one to kink shame (keeping it safe, sane and consensual), and in world where I (and many other women) want to smash the patriarchy, I may be a bit more sensitive to kinks that look down on femininity - or that’s how I have perceived it to date. As someone who has struggled with gender equality issues in real life (your capitalism comment made me give a disgruntled, but amused, snort), it’s hard to not knee jerk react and feel like I need to defend womanhood/femininity. There is still a power imbalance in the world, and equality is still a goal yet to be achieved, but upon dissection, is in the bedroom, playing with kinks, even a place we need to bring this battle? A question that has been raised to me, even before your message.

It’s funny, because I have actually had your very points discussed with me, last fall with my partner, Misty (who if you have read my personal tumblr is trans-personality who enjoys both sides of the gender spectrum fluidly) - we were on a road trip discussing the two episodes you made note of in your post, episode #16 and #19. And Misty, like you, felt we were missing the mark. S/he felt that in no way does sissification for the purpose of humiliation somehow degrade/make fun of/make lesser femininity. For all the same reasons you stated. S/he and I actually talked about doing a podcast about it, to dive more into the topic, Misty felt that strongly. It should be noted that Misty is NOT into sissification or feminization for the purpose of humiliation, and still she felt that we gave the sissification kink a bum rap.

Hearing her thoughts and yours, I think it is something that should be revisited and, for me personally, I need to take a closer look at why I find it uncomfortable.

Since you made such lovely points I want to try and address each one!

We’ve established that we both agree the trappings around what we consider to be masculine and feminine are made up (and ridiculous). I think, the kink we are talking about here is ultimately humiliation through outdated (but still most commonly accepted) societal norms. IF you get embarrassed about having those things stripped away, and “forced” into the opposite direction… good for you? I mean seriously, how fun is it to get off in weird and wonderful ways with someone who shares your kink from a slightly different perspective! The reality is, I believe, this isn’t hurting anyone. You want a person to lock up your dick, make fun of your little penis (your actual size is irrelevant), or put you in clothing that bends your mind with eroticism and makes you flustered with sexual need - awesome! Life is too short not to enjoy the kinks we have. The bigger question, if I want to dig into the piece that makes me feel uncomfortable is, “Is there misogyny in the specific kink?” - and the answer to that, for me upon reflection, is no. Misogyny comes from the person performing it. So yeah, some kinky things are done with TONS of misogynistic intent… but that isn’t concentrated in one area. Those assholes are everywhere.

To me, feminization is never something that goes hand-in-hand with sissification. My partner feminized himself (their pronouns are all over the place), in a loving way. To empower the feminine in himself. He has often described it as blooming or becoming a butterfly - his higher form of being. So no humiliation to be found, for either of us on either end. I find it hot as fuck when he is all dolled up.

I haven't dipped my toes into the humiliation via feminization kink (...yet?), so it’s hard for me to wrap my dirty little mind around it.

Weirdly I do have a bimbofication kink for myself… sometimes. 😁 If I am in a particular mood for the fantasy. I have never found the right time/partner/energy to explore that. Am I feeling humiliation when I go there? I don’t think so…? More the need to feel desired, trophied (yes I made up that word), and used in a deeply submissive way. I’m not embarrassed about that. ;) I too would be interested in hearing from women who enjoy humiliating others through feminization/sissification, and how they feel about it. Awesome point! 😀

Celebrating feminization! Now that is my jam! 💗 Give me a soft cute boy, and let me make him weak with wanting to be pretty and obedient for me. To me this is a huge mind shift - the key word “celebrating”, not shaming. Gosh, I could just sink into this topic like the perfect bubble bath. To me, this is a core element to gentle femdom. It is about making boys better… pretty, soft, sweet things that want to please - the D/s element being a key piece. The submissive to be absolutely loved and worshipped for their submission. No shame, not less than me, and certainly not shifting my own very feminine self. I love the feminine. I love to see it in men, and men embracing that side of themselves. Is this a form benevolent sexism? I don’t know. And more to the point, if I am engaging in it with my partners, writing about it on tumblr, and reblogging things that I enjoy around the topic, am I hurting anyone? Food for thought, but I am going to keep doing my thing. ;) I feel like you can look at BDSM here, and for those who wish to criticize it, could for its dynamics. But that feels like a giant, whole other post. Another thing you mentioned in this point was the strapon, and it’s use as a symbol of power. I have never seen it that way. To me, it is my soul penis… and I love being able to be inside my partner(s). It is an act of love, and makes me want to bring them to amazing places of pleasure (while I get off too). I really don’t enjoy the pictures of women wearing strapons who look like they want to punish their partner with it. But that’s just me. I know lots of people must enjoy that because there is a shit ton of porn that looks that way.

Playing with gender. I like that - and I do it! I love being able to put on a penis!! I really enjoyed trying my hand at Drag King make up and going out as a boy (I’ll post my picture again). I LOVE seeing boys in make up and fucking gender norms right out the window. You said it in your post - gender is made up and stupid. So yeah, let’s play with it, and maybe even break the molds! Though then you’ll have to find something else to get embarrassed and turned on about. ;) Our kinks are about orgasms and pleasure. Let’s enjoy them. In the end, it is all about intent and the people doing it. Not about the kinks themselves. People who want there to be an imbalance of power between women and men will keep doing mean spirited things to keep that nightmare alive - in the streets and in the sheets.

I feel like I have answered your points (I may have jumped around a bit), and I don’t feel the need to argue any of them. Misty had already shone a light on where I may have not been seeing the bigger picture.

I am SO HAPPY you wrote us a message, and that you took the time to write out your thoughts (that can be read here). So sorry it took me a while to see it and respond! I am always up for conversation and debating (with kindness) any of the points.

I definitely feel this topic should be a podcast. Any chance you'd like to be on it @youngchastity? ;)

Hugs! Becca

#kinky in the real world #podcast #podcasters of tumblr #matriarchy #smash the patriarchy

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detransition · 26 days

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from dickevandyke The other day a friend of mine said they hardly even consider me detrans because I "didn't really do anything to detransition". I didn't ask what they meant by that, because they're not really the kind of person I can have that sort of conversation with. I didn't want to have to explain to them why I detransitioned. I didn't want to have to justify finally feeling okay with myself after spending my teenage years being miserable and stressed about being trans.

It's kind of a fascinating mindset, though. I think it gives really wonderful insight as to how their brain works. Like, I stopped taking testosterone. I stopped asking to be referred to by male pronouns. I "came out" as a woman, and I Came Out as a Lesbian after also spending most of my teenage years trying very hard to repress my attraction to women. This person doesn't view that as doing anything. Why?

I imagine it's because I dress fairly masculine - as Butches generally do. I wear still wear, mostly, "boyish clothes". I didn't start wearing make-up. I didn't let my hair grow out long. I haven't done any voice training, or really made an effort to make my voice higher pitched like it was before. I haven't gotten breast implants. I rarely correct people when they call me "sir". I don't need to do any of those things. A stranger calling me "sir" doesn't mean I am not a woman. Not having breasts anymore doesn't mean that I'm not a woman. The point of my detransition was not to turn myself into a stereotype or to dive head-first into femininity.

The point of my detransition was just that I am finally comfortable with myself, just as I am. That doesn't mean that I love my body, but I am okay with it. I am at peace with who I am.

Do I regret getting a mastectomy? Yes. There was no other reason to remove my breasts, they were perfectly fine, they were small and didn't cause me any back pain, I didn't have any medical issues related to them. Do I regret wearing a binder? Absolutely. It has screwed up my ribs and back so severely that I am probably going to be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. Do I regret going on HRT? Sometimes, sometimes not. Honestly, it didn't really change much for me outside of my voice and making my body hair slightly thicker. Do I regret social transition? Absolutely. I dug myself into such a deep hole of self loathing and repression that it took me three years to finally crawl out of it. So after going through all of that - after putting myself, my body through all of that, why would I want to do it all over again in the opposite direction, when there is absolutely no need for it?

I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I don't need to do anything to be a woman, I just am one. Woman is my natural state. I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I already put my body through three years of cross-sex hormones, five-ish years of binding, and an unnecessary mastectomy which has left me unable to feel most of my chest more than a year post-op. I don't need more unnecessary surgeries or expensive treatments to make myself into a woman, I never really stopped being one. Getting breast implants wouldn't make me more of a woman because I don't need breasts to be a woman. Voice training to make my voice a higher pitch again won't make me more of a woman because a high pitched voice was never what made me a woman in the first place. Wearing make-up, growing out my hair, wearing "girly" clothes wouldn't make me more of a woman, because femininity does not make a woman.

I didn't argue with them when they said that because, to be honest, I don't want to hear what they think makes a woman. I don't want to hear them trying to justify why they barely consider me detrans because I have not tried to turn myself into a feminine stereotype. It just really struck a chord with me, because if I'm not really detrans to them, am I really a woman to them? Or do they see me as some kind of "failed" woman because despite explicitly and openly accepting my womanhood, I am not their picture of what a woman is suppose to be?

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

#detrans #detransition #ftmtf #detrans ftm #detrans female #1st #butch #lesbian #actually detrans #actuallydetrans

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bonesandthebees · 2 months

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hi bee :) semi-new anon here just hoping that you’ve been doing okay <3 i wanted to say that i absolutely adore your writing, and will happily read it, no matter what fandom it is you’re writing for, or if you’re just writing original works /gen!! your writing has always inspired me heavily hehe, it’s wonderful.

also, on the topic of original works, do you have any good novel recommendations? i’ve recently gotten back into reading and have been super into fiction, but i’m down for any sort of recs. one of my favourites at the moment is good omens :)

here’s your daily message to go have some water or tea and take care of yourself !! 🌷

hello hello!! I'm doing pretty alright now, feeling a lot better than I was this past week :) and that's so sweet of you to say, it's so reassuring knowing I have so many of you guys willing to read my silly stories no matter which fandom they're about (or even if they're original)

and yes I do have some recs!

I made a post about two months ago now talking about books I'd read that I really enjoyed so there'll be some crossover here but also some new ones I've read since then

one of my new favorite novels is The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. it's a heavy fantasy story following 4 different intertwining POVs. the fantasy world itself is made up of several different countries all inspired by various real world cultures that's not just limited to western europe which is incredibly refreshing. the world itself is incredibly fleshed out and interesting, the characters are all very diverse and have so much depth, and there's also a very beautiful sapphic romance <3 I'm reading the prequel to priory right now and I'm also loving it so far

another book I really enjoyed is actually a duology—The Radiant Emperor series by Shelley Parker-Chan. the first book in the series is She Who Became the Sun which I really enjoyed, however the sequel book He Who Drowned the World is the one that absolutely blew me away. just letting you know in case you're not comfortable with it, both books contain sex and some graphic violence. the story is set in 14th century China when it was ruled by the Mongols, and it's an incredibly well done queer retelling/fictionalization of the rise of Zhu Yuanzhang, the Emperor who ushered in the Ming dynasty. the text engages with so many themes of the expectations of masculinity and femininity and how they restrict people, and really dives into gender expression and how it can be wielded in different ways. again the first one was really enjoyable, but the second one was on a whole other level and I'm still reeling over how good it was and how much it emotionally hurt me.

ok and then last one for now

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - I know we all heard about this one thanks to the iconic bigolas dickolas wolfwood on twitter but also they were so right about this book. it's gorgeously written. the book itself is mostly written as letters exchanged between two women who are time traveling agents on opposing sides of a war for who controls the timelines. it's a beautiful love story, it's sci fi but with a heavy bend towards spec fic which I personally really like, the world concepts are incredibly fascinating, and it plays around with time travel in a very intriguing way. it's a very short book so it's an easy one to burn through. I checked this one out from my library but I'm highkey tempted to go to a bookstore and actually buy a physical copy for myself just because there were so many gorgeous lines I want to highlight

hope this helps!! my taste in books is usually: sci fi/fantasy/spec fic with sapphic women so hopefully that's something you enjoy as well lmao

#ask #tulip anon #book recs

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