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the-cult-of-riley · 2 months

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Sleeping With Ghosts (Act one: Chapter Fourteen)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N: I’ve decided not to put a song with every single chapter because there’s a fuck tonne of them and it’s getting harder to pick ones lmao I have a few saved for certain chapters, songs I listened to when I wrote them etc but from now on, there won’t be a song with every single one. Mostly because my OCD brain decided to only pick Placebo or NIN songs which is making my life harder lololol That being said, this chapter, ironically, does have a song lmao

Also, it took me an ungodly amount of time to realise how much of myself I put into Charlotte :’)

Placebo - I’ll Be Yours

I'll be your water bathing you clean

The liquid piece

I'll be your ether you'll breathe me in

You won't release

Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry the whole night through

So I'll be your water bathing you clean

Liquid blue

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother

I'll be your lover, I'll be yours

I'll be your liquor bathing your soul

With juice that's pure

And I'll be your anchor you'll never leave

Shores that cure

Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry for days and days

So I'll be your liquor demons will drown

And float away

I'll be your father, I'll be your mother

I'll be your lover, I'll be yours

Yours

The cold autumn breeze blew through the front garden and Simon glanced to his left, eyeing his companion as she wrung her hands nervously, her eyes wide as saucers. She had a look reminiscent of Privates going on their first ever tour, convinced they wouldn't make it back.

“Just breathe, love,” he murmured and he felt like a right bastard for putting her in this situation. He’d been back a week now and he’d been staying with her most nights but not all, didn't want to annoy her too much. But he’d mentioned how his family wanted to meet her because his mum wouldn't stop fucking nagging him about it and honestly, he wanted them to meet.

She’d been shocked for some reason he couldn't fathom but she’d been more than happy to agree. He’d decided it was best to split it up, not wanting to overwhelm her with too many people and knowing how Tommy can be. He settled on his mum first who wanted to cook dinner for her. After hearing Charlotte’s favourite food was bolognese, that's what she settled on making and he knew from experience his mum's bolognese was fucking mint. He planned on taking her to a pub to meet Tommy and Beth the next day, somewhere more neutral and a little less over the top so she could handle his baby brother who was a frantic ball of energy on the best of days.

Right now though, they were outside his mother’s house as Lottie seemed to suddenly realise what was about to happen and she had some sort of existential crisis. He felt bad for putting this on her now seeing how utterly nervous she was. Poor girl was shitting herself.

“It’ll be alright, Lottie,” he murmured, rubbing her back soothingly as she looked up at him with those wide, scared eyes.

“What if she doesn't like me? What if I say something she doesn't like and then she hates me and then you’ll hate me and-” she rambled anxiously and he pressed a hand over her mouth to stop her.

“Get outta that head of yours, Charlotte. Mum loves you already and she hasn't even met you yet and she's as soft hearted as they come. There's nothin’ you could do to make her hate you. And even if you did somehow, doesn't mean I’d give two shits, does it?” he asked, trying to calm her mind. He really hadn't expected her to get so worked up about it but then again, she had no parents of her own, did she? This whole thing must have been alien to her.

Her breathing was all over the place and the hand on her mouth moved to settle over her chest, rubbing it gently as if he could stimulate her lungs to function at a normal capacity. She started to take slow and deep breaths and he really looked at her. Despite the panic all over her, she looked beautiful. She’d settled on a sage green polar neck sweater and some black jeans. Her hair was down and wavy, a pretty clip of a raven pinning the side of her hair up and away from her face.

“I’m sorry,” she frowned once she got her breathing under control and he moved to press a kiss to her forehead.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s a big step for us. Just take it at your pace. If this is too much, we can go back to yours,” he said softly and he meant it too. Even if he would be disappointed, he wouldn't mind, it’d do no good to push her into something she wasn't ready for. She shook her head vehemently at his words, laying her hand over his on her chest.

“No! I… I want to be here, it’s just… I get overwhelmed easy, I guess,” her brows were pinched together and he didn't need to be inside of that pretty head of hers to know she was mentally berating herself for feeling this way. Those three little words almost fell from his lips, the urge to tell her, to reassure her burrowing its way into his brain. He ignored the urge though, now wasn't the time to fuck everything up.

“Just take some breaths and we’ll go in, yeah? I promise she’s nice, you got nothin’ to worry about,” as if on cue, the front door swung open and his mother stood there in a knee length floral dress, her shorter hair styled all nice, showing him she really made an effort for this and it warmed his chest.

She eyed the couple, her eyes shining with something Simon was unsure of as a smile spread on her face. It was then he realised his hand was still over Charlotte's chest and her hand was over his. It wasn't sexual by any means but it was definitely an intimate moment his mother had stumbled upon. Loving even. Maybe that's why she was giving him that look from the doorway. Charlotte stood there like a deer caught in the headlights as if his mother was a big fucking truck about to slap into her.

“Charlotte! It's so lovely to meet you!” his mother beamed, stepping out of the door. Charlotte relaxed a little, a shy smile tugging at her lips as Simon put a hand on her lower back and guided her to the door.

“You too, Mrs Riley,” she replied quietly.

“Oh, no need for formalities, hun. Just call me Anne,” she smiled and moved to give Charlotte a hug. Simon watched carefully, his heart thumping a little too wildly in his chest for his liking as he started to panic it would be too much for his girl. She hugged his mum back though and when they moved away he noticed her pink tinged cheeks.

“Our Simon told us you love spaghetti so that's what I’ve made. I don't know if it’ll be as good as you're used to, but my boys love it,” his mum babbled, acting like she hadn't seen another human in months and was so excited to see one.

She ushered the both of them in the house and Simon guided her to the living room/dining room. The large table was on the far side, already set out with placemats and a basket of fucking garlic bread in the middle. She never usually went this all out but maybe it was a big deal, being his first girlfriend and all.

“You two sit down, I'm just plating up,” his mum told them as she left the room to go into the kitchen. He glanced at Lottie, seeing her standing rigidly in her spot like she was made of stone.

“Wanna see a picture?” he asked, desperate to take her mind somewhere else so she’d finally relax. She turned her eyes to him then, nodding as she chewed her lower lip restlessly.

He led her over to the fireplace despite his mum’s previous insistence of sitting down, led her right to a framed picture on it. He grabbed it, a wistful smile on his face as he held it between them so she could peer at it. It was of him about 13 years old, holding Tommy upside down by his ankles, the pair with matching grins. He didn't often get to smile in his childhood but on the rare occasions his dad fucked off on a long bender, it happened.

He didn't have many pictures of being a baby or a child because of how rough everything was and it was something his mum had expressed regret over time and time again. He couldn't tear his gaze away from her as her eyes scanned the photo and her lips tugged up in amusement. He was relieved to see she was capable of calming down after all.

“You’ve always been a little shit, then,” she stated wryly and he chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Movement out of the corner of his eye tore his eyes off her to the doorway, seeing his mum standing there with two plates in her hand. He wasn't sure how long she’d been standing there but she had this soft look in her eyes as she observed the pair of them, a warm and tender smile gracing her face as her eyes met his. His chest felt a little tight and he quickly looked away, dropping the arm from around Lottie as he suddenly became self conscious of having an audience.

His mum cleared her throat, breezing into the room as if she hadn't been peeping at them like their relationship was the next best soap opera. Simon guided her to the table and they sat side by side, his mother coming back with her own plate and sitting opposite them.

“Well, Charlotte, tell me about yourself. Simon’s been so embarrassed, I feel like I don’t know much,” his mum started with a smile and Simon’s eyes could have fallen from their sockets.

“Mum!” he chided, a stupefied look on his face as he shook his head.

“What?! I don't mean embarrassed of the relationship but you’ve been so hush hush. God knows it's your first relationship, Simon, it's okay to be feeling out of sorts,” she huffed and Simon wanted a hole to open up from the ground and swallow him whole. He was glad he’d told her about not having a girlfriend beforehand or this would have been a fucking uncomfortable dinner.

“She’s here for dinner, not a fuckin’ interrogation,” he bit out and his mum narrowed her eyes at him in exasperation. He didn't mean to be a dick but Charlotte had already been panicking, he didn't want to make it worse with his mother’s prying. Didn't need the girl getting spooked and running off.

“It’s okay,” Charlotte spoke up softly, looking at him pleadingly. The look very much said ‘please stop’ and he knew he was the one making it worse right now. He blew out a breath, giving his mum a firm look before he looked back at Lottie and his eyes softened immensely.

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable, love,” he murmured apologetically. She gave him a little smile and he felt her nudge her leg into his under the table. A small gesture that let him know she appreciated him looking out for her.

“I’m not trying to make her uncomfortable, Simon. I just… I’m excited to get to know her,” his mother added, only making his guilt get worse. There were a fair few times in his life where he’d snap at his mother and feel like an utter twat afterwards over it.

“I know, mum… I know. Sorry, I’m just…” he frowned, feeling like he’d ruined the dinner before any of them had even eaten anything. His mother reached out, a smaller hand settling over his own and he glanced at her, seeing her soft and affectionate look aimed at him.

“You're protective, it's sweet,” she murmured and he felt heat creep up his face. He figured it was best to just eat his fucking food now and keep out of it before he dug himself a hole and buried himself in it.

They all ate, Charlotte telling him mum bits and pieces about herself and answering questions as they did. He felt himself slowly start to unwind, muscles uncoiling with each passing moment. His mum got a little less overbearing and Lottie got a little more relaxed the more she spoke. By the time dinner was done, the pair of women were smiling and chatting away while Simon sat at the table watching, a warmth starting in his chest and spreading through his entire body. It was nice, seeing them getting along like this.

“I’ll go sort the dishes out, mum,” he said when there was a slight lull in conversation, not wanting to interrupt.

“Alright, pet,” she smiled at him and he piled the plates up on top of one another. He stood up, leaning down and placing a kiss to Charlotte’s head without a thought.

He disappeared into the kitchen, washing the dishes in the sink as he felt pleased it had gone well. He was glad Tommy and Beth weren’t here though, he was sure Lottie would have had a fucking aneurysm if they had been. He was still nervous for that exchange, but one at a time. He hadn't really known just how much it meant to him, having Charlotte and his mum get along like this, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he felt weightless. He was so lost in thought when he was drying and putting away the dishes that he jumped when the kitchen door opened. His mother walked in, a smile on her face.

“I really love her, Simon. It's easy to see why you do,” she breathed, batting him out of the way and taking over with putting the plates away.

“Mum,” he sighed, giving her a sharp look before he glanced to the door worriedly.

“She can’t hear us from here. And you should tell her anyway, you two are head over heels for each other,” she tutted. He knew she cared about him, he wasn't stupid, but his treacherous brain had a hard time believing she actually loved him. Not the way he did her.

“Thanks for dinner, mum,” he murmured sincerely and her face softened at his tone. If anyone could read him, it was his mother.

“Don’t mention it, just make sure you bring her around again,” she pointed an accusing finger at him and he raised his hands up in mock surrender.

“I will,” he answered and she nodded, looking pleased with herself.

“When is Tommy meeting her?” she asked curiously, turning to face him.

“Tomorrow. Gonna meet him and Beth at the pub in town we usually go to,” he explained.

“Just make sure you warn her beforehand, you know how Tommy gets,” she snorted fondly and he chuckled.

“‘Course I do,” amusement coloured his tone as he thought of his baby brother. He was pretty sure he never really grew up with the amount of energy he still had, it was insane.

“I’ll let you two get back then, you’ll both need rest for tomorrow and I think she’s probably had enough stress for one day,” the tea towel got chucked on the counter with her words and he nodded.

“You just want us to fuck off,” he replied cheekily and she gave him a dirty look.

“Mind your language, you cheeky shit,” she squinted and his lips quirked up before he left the room, his mum hot on his heels. Charlotte was sitting at the now empty table and he felt a little bad about leaving her on her own, despite knowing she probably appreciated a moment to herself.

“Right, love. You ready?” he asked her and she nodded, standing up and swiping at invisible crumbs on her jumper. He hadn't been sure how long they'd stay for but he was pretty sure his mother wanted rid of them because her soaps were about to start and she never missed an episode.

“Thanks for dinner, Mrs- Anne,” she corrected herself quickly, cheeks slightly pink as he guided her to the front door and opened it.

“No need to thank me and you’re welcome here anytime, you both are,” his mum’s words were punctuated by a pointed look at him and he knew she wanted to see more of him, of them both.

She leaned in to give Charlotte a hug, murmuring about how she couldn't wait to see her again and Charlotte nodded. Poor girl was flustered when she pulled away, he was sure she wasn't used to people paying her such attention. His mum moved over to him then, wrapping her arms around his middle and giving him a squeeze. He hugged her back and tried to ignore the pinching in his chest that always seemed to accompany him when he visited her.

“I love you, Simon,” she murmured quietly and the pinching got worse.

“Love you too, mum. Be by again soon, yeah?” His voice was low and soft and she moved away with a smile and an eager nod.

“I look forward to it. You both stay safe on the way home.'' With those parting words, Simon grasped Charlotte’s hand and led her down the path and out of the front garden.

She was quiet as they walked to the bus stop and he kept stealing glances at her.

“Alright, love?” he asked hesitantly as they sat waiting for the bus. He still had that worry that it had been too much for her, that despite her smiles when she was there, that she’d hated it.

“I’m okay. Today’s just been… a lot. It was good though, we got along. She likes me… I think,” her frantic eyes turned to him then, wide and pleading and he smiled, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“She loved you, sweetheart. No need to worry,” he replied easily and it seemed to settle her right away. A relieved smile painted her face and her tension seemed to melt.

“You want a bath when you get in?” he asked her as he toyed with her fingers.

“You just want to get me naked,” she snorted impishly and he rolled his eyes playfully.

“Never gonna turn down an opportunity to get you naked, sweetheart, but I’m more concerned with makin’ sure you're not stressed out,” he murmured and her impish smile turned into something more sweet, those pretty blue eyes sparkling at him.

“I’m fine but I wouldn't say no to a bath,” she replied, blinking her long lashes up at him. He couldn't tear his eyes away, his heart turning to nothing but mush inside of his chest the longer he looked. She was like the opposite of Medusa, instead of turning him to stone, she was turning him into nothing but jelly.

Simon was happy, very fucking happy. In his current situation, he realised he’d been right to have Lottie meet his mum first, breaking the ice in meeting his family so to speak. She’d been nervous as they headed out to the pub, of course she had, but it hadn’t been as bad as when they’d gone to dinner at his dear old mum’s house. He wondered if part of it had been wanting to win his mum over more than Tommy. He’d told her a lot more about his brother and his antics and how he got on with everyone, so maybe it was less daunting than trying to win over his mum. He’d heard stories of nightmare mother in laws before who were weird with their sons and shit, maybe Charlotte had thought his mum would get possessive or something. Not that his mum was her mother in law, they weren't close to being married and the idea of popping that question to her was dizzying when he couldn't even get the balls to tell her he loved her.

Right now though, he, Lottie, Tommy and Beth were all sitting around a table in the pub, and right now, he felt like he was looking at a different person to the girl from the day before. Surprisingly, Tommy had behaved himself although there were a few embarrassing stories he just had to get in there but he’d kick the shit out of him later. But other than that, he hadn't been over the top and Simon was grateful, he knew his brother was reigning in it for a reason.

Lottie had really taken to Beth, maybe it was a girl thing or something or maybe she missed having that dynamic since her last best mate had fucked her boyfriend. Either way, the girls hadn’t stopped talking since they got here to the point that Tommy kept whining about how Beth was hogging Charlotte, the boy practically pouting. Things had been going smoothly, so smoothly in fact that he was pretty sure he jinxed himself while he sat there happy with the outcome.

The switch in her had been so minute that Tommy and Beth hadn't even clocked onto it, but he had. Of course he fucking had, there wasn’t a damn thing he wouldn’t notice about her. He couldn't quite place what set off his radar because she still continued to converse with Beth, still laughed at Tommy’s shitty jokes and still smiled, but maybe that was it. Her smile suddenly didn't reach her eyes, those blue eyes that had been just a moment ago vibrant and alive now dulled.

It made him anxious, worried about what had bothered her, wondered if his brother or Beth had said something that had somehow upset her. He couldn’t look away from her, his brain obsessing over where the fuck it had gone wrong. He didn't like it at all, didn't like her feeling uncomfortable or upset, didn't like not knowing the cause. He was half a moment away from telling Tommy and Beth they were going home and dragging her back to hers to get it out of her when she stood up, excusing herself to the bathroom.

Anxiety was eating him up from the inside out and his baby brother was none the wiser as he rubbed Beth’s now large belly and spoke in hushed tones to her. He drummed his fingers restlessly on the table before he got up too, not even bothering to say anything as he went to the back of the pub where the toilets were. He couldn't sit there and just allow this to happen, not if something was bothering her. He needed to find out what was going on and how the fuck he could fix it.

Charlotte blinked at her reflection for a moment, taking a long and steadying breath as she tried to get her head together. She hated her own mind sometimes, hated how it was ruining what had been a good night. It had been far less scary to meet Tommy and Beth and with how nice Anne had been, she hadn't been as nervous about it. She liked Tommy, had enjoyed witnessing him and Simon banter and try to upstage each other with terrible jokes and Beth had been lovely. She’d really gotten along with Beth and she hoped Beth liked her too, it was nice having a friend again. So why was her own mind trying to put a downer on the whole thing?

She took another deep inhale, telling herself to get it together. She didn't want to be that person, the wet blanket that always ruined the mood or a decent time. It was hardly a good impression if that was the case and Simon would soon tire of her and her overactive mind. She exited the bathroom to come face to face with the man in question and her heart faltered. He was leaning on the wall opposite the door, thick arms crossed over his broad chest. She tried to give him a smile as she walked the little distance between them.

“You alright?” He asked carefully. She should have known he'd pick up on her mood shift, he was crazy perceptive of everything.

“I'm fine,” she tried, getting narrowed eyes for her trouble that told her he wasn't buying it. He shifted on his feet, suddenly looking unsure of himself.

“If it's .. if this is too much then… then we can go back-” he started fumbling with an anxious frown, unable to meet her eyes. Her chest ached at the idea of him thinking he or his family had caused her upset. It may have triggered it but it was her own past haunting her.

“No! It's not…I-” she cut him off, mouth floundering as she tried to find the words. He relaxed but only minutely, dark eyes glued to her as if he was trying to see through her skull and into her brain. Trying to figure out just what was going on with her.

“It's stupid,” she sighed, feeling a twinge of heat bloom on her cheeks. She felt embarrassed for feeling the way she did, it was so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

“Let's get some air, yeah?” He asked, his tone telling her it was more of a command than a suggestion.

Before she could answer, he took her hand, leading her through the pub. He quickly passed by the table, letting Tommy and Beth know he wanted to go for a smoke before gently tugging her along outside. She’d found out in her time with him that he didn't smoke too often, he’d referred to himself as a social smoker. The air was crisp but not too cold and he moved them to sit on the wall surrounding the pub.

They sat side by side and she sat in silence as he smoked. She knew he was waiting for her to start talking but she wasn't sure how to bring it up without sounding like a whiny baby. His family had been nothing but kind to her and she knew she was being ridiculous. He gave her the space she needed until he was done with his smoke, stubbing it out and tossing it in the bin not too far from them. Decidingly having enough of her silence, he finally spoke up.

“Talk to me, Lottie,” he pleaded, taking her hand and pulling it to his lap.

“I told you, it's stupid,” she frowned softly, eyes glued to his fingers of his other hand that were slowly gliding up her forearm. They were tracing soothing patterns on her skin.

“It's not stupid. You're upset and I wanna know why,” he said firmly and she nibbled her lower lip for a moment. She blew out a breath, eyes still watching his fingers as she swallowed thickly.

“It's just�� I've had a nice time and I started to realise that I don’t… I don’t have anyone to introduce you to and it's just… depressing. I met someone amazing and I’m excited about it and I don't have a single person to tell,” she lamented.

In the past, she’d at least had Jessica to talk to about things like this, about anything she was excited about, but now she had no one. She had Simon but she couldn't exactly talk to him about himself, could she? It had just made her realise how isolated she was, how miserable and lonely her life was.

“Charlotte…” he murmured sadly and she shook her head, blinking rapidly before the tears could start. She was already embarrassing herself enough, she wasn't about to cry in front of him.

“No, it's fine. I know that it's stupid, I guess it just hit me how alone I am,” she rambled.

“I wish that I could go back and change your past, change it so you don't feel so alone… But you've got me now. You never have to be alone again, I promise you that,” he insisted and she gave him a watery smile that didn't meet her eyes.

“You can't promise me that, Simon. You're in the army, anything could happen to you,” she uttered darkly, causing a deafening silence between them as his fingers stilled on her skin.

“You worry about that?” He asked in a low voice, sounding like he'd never considered it. It was her own fault really. She'd never voiced those very real fears she had, never made it known that him being in the military bothered her. It wasn't like she wanted him to get out or anything but it was something that always lingered in the periphery of her mind.

“Of course I do. Thought about it all the time when you were gone,” she admitted with a frown, unable to look at him. Those six months had been hell for her and knowing it would come again soon enough made her feel sick.

“Why didn't you say anything?” He asked, voice guarded and it made her frown deepen.

“What was I supposed to say? We both know the risks of you being there, it's just part of the package. Doesn't mean I don't worry about you though,” she huffed and he sighed, moving to put his arm around her.

“Don't need to worry about me, love. As long as I've got you to come home to, nothin’ll stop me,” he said sweetly, and while she knew it was a ridiculous statement and something so far out of his control, it still made her smile up at him that he was trying.

“I'll hold you to that,” she murmured, making him smile as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her lips.

“You and Beth seemed to get on well… maybe you two could become friends. Maybe that might help,” he uttered, nuzzling her temple softly and she nodded.

“I hope so, she’s really nice,” she replied, leaning into him more. “I’m sorry if I ruined the night for you,” she frowned, anxiety prickling at her.

“Didn't ruin anythin’, yeah? Wish you didn't feel the way you do but it's also understandable. You can always talk to me though, Lottie. Don’t want you keepin’ shit like this from me. I need to know when my girl’s sad so I can try and make it better,” he insisted and she felt a smile pulling at her lips at his words. His girl. It made her feel all soft and mushy on the inside.

“I know, I’m sorry. This whole thing is different to what I’m used to,” she confessed and she knew that he’d know exactly what she was getting at. Talking about her feelings in her last relationship hadn't happened because her feelings hadn't mattered.

“Well, you need to get used to it. You're important to me and I need to know you're alright,” he kissed her head again as if it would kiss some sense into her and she smiled to herself. She still couldn't quite fathom how she landed a man like Simon.

They sat like that for a moment longer as she allowed her sadness to ebb away, replaced by Simon’s tenderness. Maybe she was a little isolated right now but she had Simon and some potential friends in Tommy and Beth, some potential family in Anne. Maybe soon she wouldn't feel so alone, maybe by the time of his next deployment she would have people in her life to make it a little less lonely.

“Ready to go back in?” He asked after a while and she nodded. She was glad to get some things off her chest and now she just wanted to enjoy herself a little longer. Maybe she and Beth could meet up sometimes, become friends like Simon said.

When they stood up, she leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. She felt him smile into the kiss as he grabbed her face and deepened the kiss. When he pulled away, he looked so happy, his dark eyes radiant and it made her stomach flutter.

“Thank you,” she murmured with a soft smile, hoping her eyes could convey what her words couldn't, not yet. His face softened even more, looking at her with that expression that always made her melt.

“No need to thank me, love,” he replied, giving her a tender smile before he led her back into the pub. She still had a long way to go with all her issues and insecurities but she was glad she had Simon by her side to help her through it.

#simon riley x oc #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x oc #ghost x oc

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 3 years

Text

HASO, “Family Dynamics.”

Thought you guys might enjoy this today.

A lot of you have been asking for more Conn in the stories, so I hope you enjoy :)

“Wow, would you look at that.”

“No.”

“Wow.” “No. Hopping on the nope train and taking a ride to nopeville….. Nope absolutely not.”

“Come on, Krill, isn’t it just….. Just awesome!.”

“That, that right there is an absolute raging death trap.” “Oh come on>” Adam said, hands on his hips as he stared up at the rocket.. THe Saturn V replica down to the last bolt. He grinned and danced around on his toes in a circle, “This is gonna be so cool!”

Krill turned to look at Adam, “No, no this is not cool, Adam. I am serious this time, not joking. I really don’t want you going in that thing. And with the assassination attempts and…. All that is going on with the GA leaders….” He looked at Adam Very pointedly here, “I don’t think you should do this.”

“Are you serious, a once in a lifetime opportunity and you want me to just say no because there is a possibility someone Might try to kill me?”

“Um…. YES.”

Adam crossed his arms, “Krill, I refuse to let myself live in fear when there is life to be lived.”

Krill turned to look hopefully over at Eris who was standing quietly by his side. She shook her head at him.

“He isn’t going to change his mind.”

“Can you at least try?”

She sighed, “Ok.”

Gently Eris took one of his hands forcing him to look at her, “Da…..Adam think about it please, there are a lot of powerful people after you, powerful and with resources. If they want to kill you, then this will be the perfect time to do it. They could put it off as some horrible accident, and no one would be the wiser.” She paused as he looked back at her, “I can see that this isn’t going to change your mind either.”

He smiled, “This is what I have my people for.” HE took the two of them by the shoulders and led them to where they could overlook the command station in the distance, “In there, right now, there are elements of the criminal underworld that owe me a favor, looking for any clues to indicate an attempt on my life.” He grinned, “Also, I have two secret weapons.”

He put his arm around Eris and then turned his head to look up at the sky.

Eris and Krill followed his lead.

Krill groaned, and Eris went wide eyed.

As a starborn descended from the sky ribbons flapping hands outstretched dropping from heaven like an ethereal angel. Sunlight bounced off his skin as he moved slowly downward hands held out to the side fingers outstretched. She stepped forward and- was immediately hit with a wall of his thoughts.

She no longer saw him as ethereal.

He was an asshole.

Conn drifted towards the ground but didn’t touch ribbons swirling around him seaweed undulating in a dark sea: Yes her thoughts about him had changed that much, he had gone from angel to seaweed rather quickly in her head.

He turned his eyes to her.

‘Who invited you’

Eris frowned, “I-

Adam glowered at Conn, “Be nice to her.”

Conn turned his head to look at Eris and drifted closer looking her over, ‘Oh daddy issues I see, well who doesn't.” He turned to look up at Adam, ‘Gotta love people borrowing your DNA for craft projects especially when they give you kids a little too early.”

Adam was not able to hide the thought that came marching to the forefront of his mind.

You know that’s interesting considering your starborn DNA was the most easily accessible before Eris was born.

He didn’t say it out loud, but he didn’t need to.

Eris made a face, and Conn drew back.

“HIM!”

Shit, Adam thought

“I never said that.”

“But you were thinking it.” She retorted turning on him with her eyes narrowed before turning to look back at Conn, who floated in shock behind her.

Adam held up his hands, “Woah now, I can’t be for sure, it just makes sense.”

Eris turned back to where Conn was floating and made another face, “But, but HIM. I don’t want…. I, I can’t be related to HIM.”

Adam sighed, “Being able to read his thoughts must be a bitch eh?”

Of course at the moment Conn wasn’t really having any thoughts. It was mostly just TV static with an undercurrent of the thoughts of people around him amplifying them even more in Eris’s head. Which is why she could hear Dr Krill quietly inching away as he wondered if he should tell them or nah?

He hd suspected as much the moment they had seen Eris, and learned that the DNA being used was Adam’s.

It had been easy enough to get Adam’s DNA strands from the original hybrids….. The adaptids….. But they would have needed other aliens to pair him with. And there was only one known starborn available to steal DNA from.

Conn’s static continued.

Eris groaned and put her hands to her head.

Adam rubbed his forehead, “Well, on the bright side, you turned out more like your human side of the family.” That’s when the static in Conn’s head fizzled out and he turned to look at Adam. With a sudden Evil grin, which he must have been practicing, for it seemed far to human for him, He floated over and grabbed both of them around the shoulders, “Isn’t this sweet, now we can all be one big happy family.’

“Get off me Conn.” Adam grumbled

He just squeezed tighter, though as a starborn the strength was somewhat lacking. ‘Don’t talk like that, you and I have a beautiful daughter together. Just look at her. She’s got your internal organs and my skin. Isn’t that lovely.”

“Conn I swear if you keep touching me I will punch you and probably break something.”

Conn made like he was sighing as he pulled away, “You know, as her parents we should really be trying to set an example for a healthy loving relationship. A family that plays together-”

He floated away quickly before Adam could swipe at him missing the strike by mere inches.

“Domestic assault in this household!”

Eris hid her face in her hands, “Oh no.”

She was definitely not sure how she was supposed to feel about this. One the one hand, she was at least glad that he wasn’t repulsed by the idea of her existing. However, on the other hand, it was likely that her paternal starborn side was Conn! The thought made her nauseous . Reading his thoughts made her feel the same way. Clearly this creature, whatever he was had never grown out of petty pranks, and intense sarcasm.

More annoyingly, he seemed to have the ability to hide things from her just by NOT thinking about them. She learned nothing about his past, or really his more internal thoughts. He only let her see what she wanted to see, and what he wanted her to see made her more annoyed the more she thought about it.

“I’m so excited, aren't you. Finally reunited at last!”

Adam sighed, “This is now how I planned this. Conn you stupid bastard, I called you down here to do a job for me.”

“You wouldn’t call your hubby stupid would you?”

Adam looked like he was about to turn green, “Never in a million years would I ever even consider that. In fact, I think I would rather shoot myself out the airlock an have all the nitrogen bubble out of my blood thank you very much.:”

“One night stands happen.”

“Conn I swear if you keep going down this metaphor. I am going to commit murder. Never in a million years would I touch you with a nine and a half foot pole, end of story.”

“Excuse me for being skeptical as you have been known to date aliens in the past.”

“That was Sunny, who is arguably, not even arguably, but she IS smart, talented, funny, a total badass, and a fucking gem, while you are a creepy little space gremlin.”

“Yet I have a kid with you and she doesn’t sooooooo, forgive me if I say I win.”

“We can’t be for sure that she’s yours.”

“I demand a paternity test.”

“Conn, if you don’t let this go right now I am going to rip your spine out through your back and let Waffles chew on it.”

“Bold of you to assume I have a spine.”

Adam took a eep long-suffering breath, “I am done with this conversation, now I called you down here for a reason, and that reason is that I need you two watching out for something going wrong. Eris, as a member of my family you will be allowed inside mission control to watch what is going on. Your job is to make sure that no one is planning my death from the inside.” he turned his head in Conn’s direction and flipped him the bird as he continued to speak, “You on the other hand are in charge of the engineers. I know you don’t give a shit about boundaries, so your job is to hang around the engineers and the rocket hangers to see if any of them had a hand in sabotaging the mission. If you can get near the chairwoman, or the UN President, than do what you can. I need to know how deep all of this goes.” He turned his head to Eris, “You are probably going to be able to get closer to everyone than Conn can. People know he is a starborn and they know what he can do. No one will assume anything about you if you keep your head low.”

She smiled, “Already done.” A little part of her leaped inside, and she felt giddy. Adam needed her to help protect him! She was being useful for once! Not to mention that this meant he trusted her and….. She turned a side eye on conn, Then again, that probably meant that Adam trusted him too.

The starborn grinned at her again, showing rows and rows of of sharp circular teeth.

She winced and looked away.

Gross

“I have to get going, but you two should get to work. This is going to be a long week.”

He whistles once, and Waffles jumped up from where she had been resting at his side, and gently trotted after him as he walked away back towards the command station. Eris started after him and Conn floated up next to her.

“What an unexpectedly delightful day, don’t you think.”

“Can you be less creepy please.”

“It runs in the family Eris, you have the creepy inside you too. Embrace it!”

She shoved him away with one hand and ran to catch up with Adam.

She could hear conn laughing behind her as he floated away towards the hangers.

She glanced over his shoulder as she grabbed onto Adam’s arm, “Why is he so weird!”

Adam shrugged, “I think something happened to him when he was first born. I would say that he was dropped on his head, but that’s probably not accurate. Think i heard something about him having been isolated from his clan for the first few thousand years with his dead mother, but I don’t know if that’s true or if it’s just something he made up. Either way I think whatever happened to him kind of made him psycho.”

She glanced over her shoulder to the figure floating off into the distance, “Than why do you keep him around?”

He sighed, “Unfortunately, his abilities are invaluable. The ability to bring him alone when it comes to negotiations, or to talk with new alien species speeds up both diplomatic missions and learning new languages.” He sighed, “Also, as far as I can tell he is pretty loyal. He always does everything I ask him to do as long as it is important enough. Sure if I asked him to pick up after himself he’d probably flip me the bird and go floating in the other direction. But every time something big and important has happened, he has always been relatively reliable. A part of me wonders if he just doesn’t know how to interact with people, and somewhere deep down there is a desire to be wanted, but that’s not something I can prove.” He glanced pointedly at her.

She shook her head, “Sorry, he’s pretty good at hiding what’ he’s thinking.”

Adam grunted, “A real pity. Now-” He turned to look at her, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye, “Stay low. If you hear anything, don’t try to do anything about it yourself. Call my ship, either Sunny or Ramirez and they will deal with everything. If you see someone wearing a red pin with a white rocket on it, then those are our undercover guys, and they should be able to help you too. But it’s likely you will know who they are anyway.”

He looked her in the eyes, “Whatever happens, your safety comes first, not mine. You got that/”

She nodded eagerly even though she knew that last instruction was a lie.

He was more important than her.

And she was going to make sure that he stayed safe.

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howdon-aldi-death-queue · 3 years

Text

NEW SAM FENDER INTERVIEW FOR NME

THE BIG READ

Sam Fender: “This album is probably the best thing I’ve done in my life”

The hometown hero has distanced himself from the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag, but there’s no shortage of rites-of-passage yarns and colossal tunes on the upcoming ‘Seventeen Going Under’

“You can see the ghost of Thatcherism over there…” says Sam Fender, pointing across the water to a vacant shipyard, where once the shipbuilding industry was so healthy that vessels towered higher than the rows of houses on the shore. We’re on the waterfront in North Shields, just outside Newcastle, and our photographer is snapping away for Sam’s first NME cover shoot.

The singer-songwriter stares stonily into the lens as wafts of seaweed and fishing trawlers are carried by the northern coastal breeze. He’s already been stopped for a few pictures with fans, but remains eager to point out the impact that Tory leadership has had on his working-class town over the last few decades. “It’s been closed since the ’80s, from the ghost wasteland of the shipyards. You’ve got all the scars of Thatcherism from The Tyne all over to the pit villages in Durham.”

It’s as good an introduction as any to the outspoken musician, whose 2019 debut album ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ was a record for his sleepy hometown to be proud of – tackling themes that range from male suicide (the heartbreaking ‘Dead Boys’) to world tensions (and the “kids in Gaza” he eulogised on its soaring title track). He set weighty topics against blisteringly well-executed Americana with the fist-in-the-air euphoria of Bruce Springsteen’s colossal choruses and sax solos. Much like his hero, Sam smartly weaves his own political standpoint and personal circumstance into gripping anthems of a generation, which earned him the ‘Geordie Springsteen’ tag.

“I can’t exactly bat off those comparisons, can I?” he says back in his cosy recording studio nearby. “At the same time, I don’t feel worthy of that tag. The first time I heard it, I was like, ‘That’s fucking sick’, but you don’t want to be riding off the coattails of The Boss for the rest of your life. I can write my own songs, they’re different and my voice doesn’t sound anything like Springsteen’s. I don’t have his growl; I’m a little fairy when I sing.”

He may have toned down the Springsteen vibes slightly on his highly anticipated second album ‘Seventeen Going Under’, due later this year, but there are still plenty of chest-pounding anthems capable of making your hairs stand on end: “I much prefer Americana to the music we have in our country at the moment. I love the leftfield indie stuff like Fontaines D.C, Squid and Black Midi, but I love a chorus and melodic songs. I think the American alternative scene has that down with Pinegrove, Big Thief, The War On Drugs.”

‘Hypersonic Missiles’ thrummed with a small town frustration almost that every suburban teenager could surely relate to. This was most notable on ‘Leave Fast’, where he sang about the “boarded up windows on the promenade / The shells of old nightclubs” and “intoxicated people battling on the regular in a lazy Low Lights bar”, a reference to his beloved local. But album two sees him fully embrace North Shields, an ever-present backdrop to cherished memories and harrowing life events of his youth and surroundings.

It’s no coincidence that the 27-year-old has turned inwards and penned a record about his hometown while being stuck at home like the rest of the country: “I didn’t have anything to point at and I didn’t want to talk about the pandemic because nobody wants that – I never want to hear about it again. It was such a stagnant time that I had to go inwards and find something, because I was so uninspired by the lifetime we we’re living in.

“I’ve made my coming-of-age record and that was important for me – as I get older, these stories keep appearing; I’ve got so much to talk about. I wrote about growing up here. It’s about mental health and how things that happen as a child impact your self-esteem in later life. On the first record, I was pointing at stuff angrily, but the further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know about anything. When you hit 25, you’re like: ‘I’m fucking clueless! I know nothing about the world.’ It was a humbling experience, growing up.”

Early last year, before the pandemic hit, Sam was set to jet off to New York pre-pandemic to record in the city’s infamous Electric Lady studios founded by Jimi Hendrix. “Looking back, I’m thankful that it happened,” he says. “If I went off to New York and did my second album there… it wouldn’t have been the same record. I will go and do the third one in NYC, come hell or high water – I’m fucking out of here!

“The forced return home really informed the direction [of the record]. I was on the crest of this insane wave; we’d sold out 84,000 tickets for the [‘Hypersonic Missiles] arena tour that we still haven’t played yet. I’m still waiting to hear when it’s going to be rescheduled. It’s incredibly frustrating; I’ve got loads of frustrated fans. That was all cancelled on the day of the lockdown. I thought it was only going to be a couple of months and that it would be another swine flu thing, but fool me – I was stuck in the house like everybody else.”

It’s not the first setback that Sam has dealt with in his career. In the summer of 2019, he was ready to make his Glastonbury Festival debut with a Friday afternoon set on the legendary John Peel Stage, a rite of passage for any emerging artist, but had to pull out due to a serious health issue with his vocal chords. The mood in the room shifts dramatically at the mention of this devastating period: “I don’t want to focus on that, to be honest, because it’s just negative news and it’s in the past.”

“The further I’ve gotten into my 20s, the more I’ve realised how little I know”

Looking back now, he says, it was a tough decision, but ultimately the right thing to do: “We were doing so much at the time and I just burnt out. If you damage your vocal cords, you can’t take it lightly. If something happens like that and you keep going, you’ll fucking lose your career forever. I never want to end up behind the knife; I just refuse to put myself in that situation.”

The fact that his 2019 breakthrough ground to a halt again in COVID-decimated 2020 “was frustrating as fuck”, he says, “but I took solace in the fact that everyone was stopped in their tracks that time; it wasn’t just me.” This was in stark contrast to the singer’s experience of pulling the biggest moment of his music career in order to rest his vocal cords: “I didn’t talk for three weeks; I had to be silent and just watch Glastonbury on the TV, going, ‘This is completely dogshit’. But you can’t even say that out loud – you’re just saying it over in your head like a psycho. I’d take a pandemic over that any day.”

There was a brief flash of light when he headlined the opening night at the world’s first socially distanced arena, Newcastle’s Virgin Money Unity venue, to an audience of 2,500. Yet Sam’s not in the mood to wax lyrical about that, either. “It was amazing,” he says, “but it didn’t happen again.” A local lockdown in the North East brought the following shows – which would have featured Kaiser Chiefs and Declan McKenna – to a premature end in September: “It was another false start. We thought everything was going to get moving again but then we were just sat around [again].”

As for this reaction to the Government’s handling of the pandemic? It perhaps says it all that he’s selling face masks emblazoned with the words ‘2020 Shit Show’ and ‘Dystopian Nightmare Festival’ on his website. “I think everyone has said enough haven’t they?” Sam suggests. “I never want to see Boris Johnson’s or Matt Hancock’s face ever again. As soon as they come on the TV, I just turn it off.”

Political tension bubbles through ‘Seventeen Going Under’. Its second half boasts tracks such as ‘Long Way Off’, a brooding but colossal festival anthem brimming with angst and unease. “Standing on the side I never was the silent type,” Fender roars, “I heard a hundred million voices / sound the same both left and right / we’re still alone we are.” It’s gripping stuff; a Gallagher-level anthem ripe for pyro and pints held aloft.

Sam says the song is about feeling stranded amid political divisiveness here and in the US, epitomised when Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol in Washington back in January: “You’ve either got right-wing, racist idiots or you’ve got this elitist, upper-middle-class section of the left-wing, which completely alienates people like myself and people from my hometown.”

“The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity”

Closer to home, the last UK election, in 2019, saw the so-called ‘Red Wall’ crumble as working-class voters in the north defected from Labour to Tory. “The polarity between the left and the right has me feeling like I have no identity,” Sam says. “I’m obviously left-wing, but you lose hope don’t you? Left-wing politics has lost its main votership; it doesn’t look after working-class people the way that it used to. Blyth Valley voted Tory just north of here. Now, that is saying something! We’re in dire straits when a fucking shipbuilding town is voting for the Tories – it’s like foxes voting for the hunter.”

He’s even seen his own working-class friends peel to the blue side: “I’m like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ I understand it, though. I’d never vote for the bastards because I fucking hate them and I know what they’re up to, but I get why people don’t feel any alliegiance to left-wing politics when they’re working-class.”

As ever though, Sam isn’t masquerading as an expert: “I’m not fucking Noam Chomsky, you know what I mean? I’m not going to dissect the whole political agenda of the Tories and figure it all out because I can’t. All I see is a big fucking shit sandwich – every day through my news feed – and it’s just, ‘Well: that’s what your dealing with.”

The singer is fond of describing North Shields as “a drinking town with a fishing problem”. Today he adds: “That’s been the backdrop of my life: all of these displaced working-class people. It’s a town that’s resilient that still has a strong sense of community. In a lot of big cities that’s dead. In London everything changes from postcode to postcode, but everything is quite uniform up here.”

When NME was awaiting Sam’s arrival outside the studio before the interview, a passerby clocked our photographer’s gear and asked, “Oh aye – are you waiting for Sam? We all know Sam – a good lad; very accommodating with nae airs or graces about him.” Another pointed to The Low Lights Tavern down the road, where Fender used to pull pints on the weekends: “He was a terrible barman, and he’ll be the first to tell you that. I think he got sacked about six times during his time there.”

Sam (who confesses of his bartending know-how: “He’s totally right!”) hit the local to celebrate when ‘Hypersonic Missiles’ won him a Critics’ Choice gong at the BRIT Awards in 2019, placing the trophy on the bar. “I owed The Low Lights one for being such a shit barman,” he says. “I wanted them to be proud of us because they fucking certainly wasn’t proud of us when I was around working there!”

“Celebrity stuff freaks me out. I’d rather just live my life”

He’s clearly a key member of the local community, then. How did he see the pandemic impact on his family and friends – especially when the North East faced the toughest Tier Four lockdown restrictions last December? Sam pauses before bluntly saying: “I lost more mates; there was suicides again. Mental health was the biggest thing. We lost friends who had drunk too much.”

A track on the new record, ‘The Dying Light‘, is an epic sequel to ‘Dead Boys’, with the poignant last line of the album ringing out “for all the ones who didn’t make the night”. Sam, unable to truly distance himself from The Boss after all, explains: “It’s very Springsteen. It’s my ‘Jungleland’ or ‘Thunder Road’ – it’s got that ‘Born To Run’ feel; there’s strings and brass [and] it’s fucking massive. It’s a celebration. It’s a triumph over adversity.”

He stresses that it was vital for him to be in regular contact with his friendship circle through that traumatic time: “It becomes important when you lose friends to suicide… You realise it’s always the unlikely folks. We lost a friend to suicide at the beginning of last year and it was someone you’d never expect. It really hits home; it’s important to check in on your mates.”

Sam has alluded in previous interviews to a health condition that he’s not yet ready to fully disclose, and tells NME that he spent three months shielding at the beginning of the pandemic: “I was alone for three months and that was very tough… When you’re completely alone and isolated, it’s impossible. I spent a lot of time drinking and not really looking after myself and eating shit food, but I wrote a lot of good lyrics.”

There’s a certain resulting bleakness to some of his new songs, but Sam also wanted light to shine through. “It’s a darker record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end,” he explains. “It’s upbeat but the lyrics can be quite honest. It’s the most honest thing I’ve done.”

You might expect a young hometown hero to rail at having been denied the chance to capitalise on his burgeoning fame in the last year or so, but Sam insists, “I still have imposter syndrome,” adding: “I don’t feel like it’s happened… I’m walking around the street and people ask for photos and it just feels bizarre. I’m like, really? I feel like I haven’t come out of my shell yet.”

Sam has rarely been one to court celebrity, and revealed in 2019 that he’d turned down the chance to appear in an Ariana Grande video. “It was an honour but I would have just been known as that guy in the video,” he tells NME. “All of my mates would have been flipping their heads off, but I don’t think she would really want an out-of-shape, pale Geordie. I’d rather just live my life, because all of this celebrity stuff freaks [me] out, you know?”

He might have to get used to it: things can only get bigger with the arrival of the new album. “As a record I think this one is leagues ahead [of ‘Hypersonic Missiles’],” he says, “I’m more proud of this than anything I’ve ever done. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done in my life. I just hope people love it as much as I do. With the first album, a lot of those songs were written when I was 19, so I was over half of it [by the time it was released]. Whereas this one is where I’m at now.”

“This is a dark record, but it’s a celebration of surviving and coming out the other end”

Still, he adds: “At the same time, this record is probably going to piss a lot of people off.” He’s referring to a line in one of the more political tracks, ‘Aye’, where he returns to his most enduring bugbear, divisiveness, and claims that “the woke kids are just dickheads”. Sam’s no less forthcoming in person: “They fucking are, though! Some 22-year-old kid from Goldsmiths University sitting on his fucking high horse arguing with some working-class person on some comments section calling them an ‘idiot’ and a ‘bigot’? Nobody engages each other in a normal discussion [online] without calling each other a ‘thick cunt’.”

He’s eager to make this statement, though, come what may: “I don’t fucking care any more. I’m not really sure how the reaction is going to be. People used to say things online about me and I used to get quite hurt about it, but now I’m like, ‘Well, they’re not coming to my house’… [But] I get so angry. In Newcastle we say ‘pet’ and someone was trying to tell me that was fucking offensive towards women. You’re not going to delete my fucking colloquial identity. It’s not even gender-specific; we say it to men and women. My Grandma calls me ‘pet’! That brand of liberalism is fucking destroying the country. We could be getting Boris Johnson and all them pricks out of office if we stopped sweating over shit like that”.

Sam might be outspoken, but he’s self-aware, too. When we were talking politics earlier, he said: “I didn’t want to start on ‘cancel culture’ because I don’t want to sound like Piers Morgan [and] I fucking hate that cunt. But there is a degree of it which lacks redemption; people fuck up. Everyone is a flawed character. If you’re not admitting that you have flaws, then you’re a fucking psychopath. The left-wing seem to be that way and the right-wing are fucking worse than they’ve ever been. Politically I have just lost my shit.”

In all of this uncertainty, though, it seems a sure thing that Sam Fender will take his rightful crown – as soon as the world lets him – with the colossal ‘Seventeen Going Under’. “It’s going to be a hell of a return,” he insists. “I know the fans are still there, you know? So I’m not really worried – I’m ready to go out there and do my thing. Finally!”

#sam fender #majestic interview #some important points were raised #loved when he said that he hates the 'celebrity façade of things'#long post

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nighttimepixels · 3 years

Note

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

#night answers #night plays ME #(yes that's a purposeful pun lol)#((i sure have played myself by starting this series its so good aksdjflskjfd))

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bitchin-beskar · 3 years

Text

Hot Blooded

Rating: M

Warnings: Sex. Din wins a fight, and he’s really horny. That’s the plot. There’s not a lot of spoilers, but there’s a little bit. Be warned.

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Oh look, it’s yet another fic inspired by Episode 9 of the Mandalorian. Who would have seen that coming? I’ve been ranting to @perropascal about this fic, so it’s dedicated to her! (thanks for always hyping me up, I love u ❤️)

Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment! I love feedback!

PLEASE BE WARNED. THIS STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 9 OF THE MANDALORIAN. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN 2x01 DO NOT READ (unless you’re into spoilers and stuff)

You heard the Crest’s door slide open, followed by the heavy thunk of your Mandalorian’s boots on the metal floor. You were in the middle of trying to fix one of the indicator panels, and didn’t bother turning around. This was just an intel-gathering stop, so you weren’t particularly worried about your partner.

As he moved around the cargo hold, you continued to try and fix the stupid panel. It had been giving off false readings for weeks, and every time you’d thought you’d fixed it, it miraculously broke again.

“Where’s the kid?”

Din’s gruff voice was unfiltered, and you heard the clang as he set his helmet down on one of the crates in the hold. More clangs followed as he slowly stripped himself of his armour.

“He’s upstairs, napping. Damn little womp rat took forever to fall asleep, I swear he’s got an endless energy reserve.” You trailed off, muttering about small green alien children who never seemed to need sleep. “I didn’t think I was ever going to get him down for his nap.”

Sticking your tongue between your teeth, you reached into the panel, trying to find the missing wire that somehow kept getting disconnected. You’d just brushed your fingers against it when two hands landed on the bulkhead on either side of you, a warm, solid chest pressing against your back.

“Shit, Din, be careful!” You cursed, jumping. “I could’ve electrocuted myself, you idiot–” You were cut off as one of Din’s hands swiftly found the bottom of your shirt, yanking it up and snaking his hand up to cup your breast, his thumb brushing over your nipple.

“What the hell–?”

Din’s other hand moved your hair to the side, his lips landing on your neck, placing searing kisses against the sensitive skin. You could feel how sweaty his skin was, pressed up against you as close as he could get. While a part of you wanted to just abandon this project and give in, you were so close to being done.

“Give me just a few minutes Din, I’ve almost finished here, and then I–”

A low groan left Din’s mouth, the vibrations hitting your skin and fanning the flames that had started simmering low in your belly. He stepped closer to you, pressing you up against the metal wall of the bulkhead, his hips rocking against your ass as you realized he was hard.

Your eyes fluttered shut, and a soft moan left your lips. You could feel your body beginning to give in, but you tried to stay focused. “Din, I promise, I’m almost done–”

“Finish it later,” Din growled. “Need you now.”

You whimpered quietly. Din knew how much it turned you on when he got bossy, the bastard. Yet you were determined to not give in.

You forced your eyes open, and reached into the panel again. “I swear, I need to get one thing done today, just let me–”

Din didn’t even let you finish your sentence, bodily yanking you away from the bulkhead and spinning you around so that you were bent over one of the crates that lined the hull. He ground his clothed erection into your ass, pressing his entire body against you, his mouth hot against your neck.

“The only thing you need to be doing, sweet girl,” he groaned. “Is letting me fuck this pretty cunt until I’m satisfied.”

Your fingers desperately grasped at the netting that secured the crate to the side of the hull as Din rolled his hips against yours, pressing you into the sharp corners and edges of the metal crate.

“Wh–What’s gotten into you?” You gasp, moaning as Din cups your cunt through your pants. “You aren’t u–usually this n–needy!”

Din chuckled darkly, working your pants down just enough so that he can access your dripping cunt. “My contact betrayed me,” he grunted, circling your clit. “Had all these henchmen, tried to take me out.”

You hear the rustling of fabric behind you before the blunt head of Din’s cock nudges at your fluttering entrance. You suck in a breath, purposefully relaxing your muscles as he starts to press forward.

“Wh–What were the–the odds?”

Din gripped your hair, pulling your head back, forcing your back to arch as he slowly pressed further into you. “Nine or ten. I didn’t stop to count.” He whispers in your ear. “They didn’t put up much of a fight.”

You love that cocky tone of his, the absolute certainty in his voice that he wasn’t in any danger, even though you know that sometimes that cocky attitude gets him into trouble.

“Do you know what they did do, sweet girl?” Din asks as he finally bottoms out, hips flush against yours. “They got me all excited. I was ready for a fight, and they were just disappointing.”

He grinds his hips against yours, and you whimper at the sensation of being absolutely stuffed. “I’ve got all this pent up energy, sweetheart. I figure I should put that energy to good use.” He kisses the side of your neck. “What do you say?”

You know exactly what Din wants to hear. “Fuck me, Din. Please, fuck me–!” The air is punched out of your lungs as Din draws back and then slams forward, his hips slapping against your ass. His pace is fast and rough and perfect, and you can’t stop crying out.

You fucking love it when he gets all needy like this. He gets so tactile and desperate, holding you tight against him as his cock makes you see stars. His mouth is running, muttering dirty little promises against your skin, telling you how good you feel, how tight you are around him, how you’re the only thing in the entire fucking galaxy that he needs, that he could die happy if the only thing he did for the rest of his days was bury his cock deep inside your twitching cunt.

It’s filthy and rushed and in practically no time you’re coming, gasping and crying out as Din rails into you from behind. He groans as he feels your cunt clamp around him, whispering in your ear about how fucking wet you get when you come, about how good you are, letting him fuck you however he needs to.

He doesn’t slow his thrusts at all during your release, and the fire in your belly barely has time to die out before the embers are relit and the flames are leaping higher than before.

Whenever Din gets needy like this, he runs his mouth, his verbal filter vanishing. His whispered praises settle over your skin like the finest silk, his words making you feel more beautiful than the most expensive gowns ever could.

Din abruptly pulls out, and you moan at the loss. He spins you around, pulling your pants all the way off as he does, and you see the look in his eye right before he kisses you breathless.

“I know that look, Djarin,” You murmur against his lips. “What–mmh–What are you up to?”

Din takes a step back and slowly sinks to the ground, his back against the bulkhead, pulling you down to straddle his lap as he goes. He lines himself back up with your entrance and pushes into your soaking cunt with a moan.

“I want you to ride, sweet girl. You’re so good at it.”

You throw your arms around Din’s neck, resting your forehead against his as you slowly start to swivel your hips. You work up a rhythm, rocking back and forth as you begin to pick up the pace. You close your eyes, biting your lip as you chase your release.

Din seems to have other ideas, however, as his hands come up to grip your hips, stalling your movements. You whine, opening your eyes to see his teasing smirk. He tugs at your shirt. “Take this off, sweetheart.”

You comply, gripping the bottom of your shirt and pulling it up and over your head, baring your chest to Din. He requests that you don’t wear any kind of breast band on the ship, as he prefers the easy access to your chest.

“You’re obsessed with my tits, Din,” you giggle, sighing as he reaches up to cup your breasts. He fondles you slowly, his cock throbbing inside you.

“You have perfect breasts, sweet girl. Why wouldn’t I be obsessed?”

Before you can retort, he leans over and takes your nipple in his mouth, sucking at the rapidly-hardening peak.

You gasp, cupping the back of his head as your sensitive bud is toyed with. Your sudden movement causes his cock to shift inside you, and you suck in a breath.

Din begins to manipulate your hips, moving you in tight circles while impaled on his cock, all while sucking at your breast. The sensations are overwhelming, a litany of moans and gasps falling from your lips as you try to stay coherent.

You lose the battle as Din starts to lift you up and drop you down on his cock, reaching deeper inside of you than he was before. It sends shocks up your spine, and your fingers clench as wave after wave of pleasure washes over you.

He releases your breast with a wet pop, moving to lavish the same attention on your other nipple. His hands are gripping so tightly you think you might end up with bruises.

He lifts you off almost completely and holds you there, just the tip of him still nestled inside you. Immediately, your hips try to grind down, but he holds you steady. “What’s wrong, sweet girl?” He murmurs against the skin of your breast, faux innocence filling his voice.

“Mmm, need to come, please Din, fuck, please, let me come, Din!”

You scream his name as he abruptly yanks you downwards while thrusting up into you, the suddenness of the movement causing you to fall off the cliff you didn’t even know you were on. Your legs are shaking, and Din immediately sits up, moving forward and lowering you down until your back is resting on the floor of the cargo hold, and he’s cradled in the vee of your hips.

He begins thrusting again, fast-paced and frantic, and you’re so sensitive it almost hurts but you never want him to stop. His head is bowed and you’re clutching at his shoulders as he absolutely wrecks you, and when his hips start to stutter, you can tell he’s close.

He suddenly reaches down with one hand and begins to circle your clit, and you reflexively try to stop him, your sensitivity almost too much to bear. But Din just sits back, grasping both your wrists in his other hand before pinning them to the floor above your head. You’re helpless in his grasp, and before you realize it, you’re coming for a third time, and this time, Din comes with you.

His moan as he comes inside you is one of the sexiest things you’ll ever hear, and when he collapses forward to rest on his forearms above you, you crane your neck to kiss him.

He follows you down, letting you rest your head on the metal floor as he kisses you, his tongue mimicking the actions of his cock not even twenty seconds ago. He still has your hands pinned, and he takes control over every aspect of the kiss, stealing your breath and professing his love all at once.

When air becomes a necessity, he pulls away, releasing your wrists and sitting back, watching as his come drips out of your cunt and onto the floor. You almost roll your eyes at the look in his, but before you can, he reaches down and scoops up some of his spend, shoving it back inside you with two fingers.

You moan in surprise, your eyes fluttering shut at yet even more stimulation. Din slowly massages your clit as he keeps two fingers inside you, keeping you stuffed full of his come.

“Did I hurt you, sweetheart?”

You lazily open your eyes to look at Din, his concern clear on his face. Smiling softly, you reassure him.

“I’m fine, Din. Trust me.” He smiles back. “Now am I allowed to finish my work on that stupid indicator panel?”

Your Mandalorian only smirked at you.

“What makes you think we’re done?”

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#fics #no use of y/n #reader #reader fic #writing #din djarin #din x reader #smut #episode 9 #the Mandalorian spoilers #the Mandalorian

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bibislut · 4 years

Text

A Girl Walks Into A Tower

After finding out her best friend is actually Spider Man, Leena's whole world changes. Enter: a meddlesome billionaire, some flirty super soldiers, and one (1) stubborn God of Mischief. Throw in a real need for better communication, a game of spin the bottle and a whole load of banter - and you'll have yourself a real good time at Stark Tower.

Also known as Loki is hella sexy, hella moody and really freakin' stubborn. Featuring: Peter Parker being the cutest, Sam Wilson being a cheeky bitch and a little bit of being a bad ass on the reader's part.

This work has explicit language, sexual content and some mentions of blood / violence, so please take this into consideration before reading!

Word Count: 19,260

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1

You couldn't help but close your eyes as you took the stairs up to your apartment by memory. You'd lived here for nearly a decade now, and the 9 flights' every creak and whine were ingrained in your memory by now, and the 10 hour shift you'd just done could be felt in every muscle: you couldn't help but rest your eyes for a moment.

You finally reached your landing and opened your eyes only to find Peter Parker dozing against your door frame, dried blood staining his skin from his hairline to his eye. The seventeen year old often came to you for a stitch up, not wanting to frighten his Aunt with his injuries. You frowned down at his snoring form and hitched your bag better on your shoulder, crouching down to place your hand on his cheek. "Peter." you whispered, not wanting to startle him. The teenager opened his eyes with a dopey smile.

"Hey, Lele."

"Hey idiot, let's get you inside." You couldn't help but return his warm smile as he shrugged off your attempt to help him up - you always forgot how strong he was. You pulled your keys from out of your pocket and opened the door. Dropping your bag to the floor, you flicked on the lights and shut the door behind Peter, watching him limp to your kitchen table.

"What happened this time?" you asked as you rolled up your sleeves and washed your hands. You reached for a flannel from the bottom drawer and ran it under the hot water.

"Just some kids from school."

Even though you couldn't see his face, you knew the teenager would be picking at his lips like he did every time he lied. You knew he'd never tell you what really went on before he turned up to your apartment - he never did. You rung out the cloth.

"I swear to God Peter, if I come home one day to find you dead on my doorstep, I will resurrect you just to kill you myself." You couldn't help the motherly tone that clipped your words, despite only having a few years on the boy. Peter winced both at your words and at the pressure you applied as you wiped away the blood. As you cleaned the wound, you were relieved to see that it wouldn't need stitches, but there was a good chance it would scar. You frowned.

"I know, I know! I'm sorry Leena..." He surged forwards to wrap you in a tight hug and you sighed into his hair. You'd known him since he was 6 and you were practically family now. His uncle and your dad had died the same year, your mom joining them a few years ago. You'd always looked after each other, silently vowing protection over the other with each funeral attended. A loud banging at the door pulled you both apart, and you looked at each other in silence as you went to the drawers and pulled out your handgun, Peter walking into the shadows as was protocol (though you had never had to follow it before).

You were a good shot, but Peter was much more quiet and agile - a surprise attack suited him well. You don't know when you'd both become so jumpy, perhaps it was when Aliens began ransacking the city in 2012, or when the murders on the news became more frequent, or when... It didn't really matter. The world was a shit storm, and you'd let hell freeze over before you let anyone you loved get hurt because you weren't prepared.

You looked through the peephole to see someone you most certainly would not have expected. You turned to whisper to the shadows where you knew Peter was. "It's Tony Stark!" Peter emerged quickly, pushing you out of the way to unlatch the door, leaving you gaping like a fish.

"Hey, Mr Stark!" He threw himself at the billionaire, wrapping his arms around him. The businessman-turned-superhero patted the boy's back. The dirt that covered Peter smeared across the obviously expensive navy suit, but neither seemed to care.

"Good to see you alive, kid. Friday said you had some injuries and when I looked on your suit tracker you weren't in your apartment." He pulled Peter back to stare at him sternly. "Care to explain?" You looked at the two of them in shock. Since when had Peter met Tony Stark? And since when had they become so obviously close? The worry etched across the philanthropist's face certainly seemed genuine enough.

Peter turned to look at you anxiously. "I was with Leena, I stopped a robbery a couple blocks away, but they must have got me because I was bleeding, so I came here. She does a great job of cleaning me up, and I didn't want to scare Aunt May, you know how she wo-" he babbled, looking between the two of you, but stopped as Tony made a 'zip it' motion. You frowned at Peter's words; since when did he stop robberies? You put the gun you forgot you had been holding in the waist pants of your jeans and stepped forwards, offering your hand, which was far steadier than you expected.

"I'm Leena, I've known Peter since we were kids."

Tony shakes your hand firmly. "Nice to meet you, Tony Stark." You look between the two of them as awkward silence begins to fill the air. You turn to gesture towards your apartment.

"Would you like to come in?" That was what you were supposed to do, right? Offer hospitality? You shook your head quickly to yourself. What the hell was going on?

You lead the way for the two guys, but put a hand on Peter's chest. "Go wash your hands before I catch you putting dirt in the wound I just cleaned." He offers you a salute as he turns down the corridor.

You make your way back to the kitchen to find Mr Stark lounging at the table in the spot where Peter had sat. "Tea or Coffee?" you ask. You wonder for a moment if the month old dollar brew in your cupboard is even worth offering.

"Coffee, black, one sugar." He offers you a thankful smile. You turn around and pull out three mugs, one tea, one coffee and one hot chocolate for Peter. "I bet cleaning up Mr Friendly-Neighborhood-Spider-Boy gets a bit tiring." The billionaire offers as a replacement for the silence. You stiffen, turning to stare at him.

"What?"

He curses under his breath “He didn't tell you?" The business mogul suddenly looks panicked - a glaring contrast to the confident man you'd seen on TV.

You snap your neck to look at the now-frozen Peter Parker standing in the doorway, a sheepish smile on his face.

"What the flying fuck, Peter?!"

***************

You woke the next day at noon, not as rested as you'd hoped after you'd spent most of last night arguing with Peter. You had to admit you were proud of him, and it did make a lot of sense now that you thought about it. His constant 'fights at school', how light on his feet he was, how agile, how strong he was. You were kind of pissed that you hadn't figured it out before to be honest. You had had a hard time believing it all, but once Peter pulled his suit from his stash behind the couch, you didn't really have a choice but to accept the truth. Tony Stark had also been quite nice to talk to, and the way he treated Peter as his own was so great to see. He'd always needed a father figure. Tony had watched the two of you with rapt interest, seemingly pleased to meet someone so close to Peter. After a while Peter fell asleep on the couch, his head on your shoulder and you and Tony had mouthed your goodbyes. He'd woken up about an hour later and you gave him a hug as he climbed through your window to sneak back to his own apartment.

You sat up and stretched, stifling a yawn as you padded down the hall to the kitchen. A big yellow envelope hung from your letter box and you grabbed it curiously.

EVICTION NOTICE!

"Shit!" You cursed loudly, tearing it open. You knew the landlord was a slimy bastard, but you couldn't believe he was kicking you out. He was a selfish layabout and owned a few of the apartments in the building, yours being the nicest and largest. Knowing him, he probably wanted it so he could move in with his new girlfriend. Of course, he didn't say that in the notice, only that you had two weeks to pack your things and go.

*****

You'd spent the whole day at work lost in your thoughts, barely noticing the caffeine crazed customers around you.You didn't have enough saved to move anywhere decent, yet alone pay the first month's rent upfront as most landlords wanted. You couldn't move in with family - they were all dead or on the other side of the country. You didn't really have any close friends, only your work colleagues. That left Peter's place - but you knew they didn't have a spare room and you certainly couldn't squish everything you had into their living room.

You were still racking your brains by the time the last customer left the coffee shop at 9.55PM, and you hurried to wash their cup and sweep up, locking up and leaving. You trudged through the bitter cold of late-October the five blocks back to your building, bumping into the spider-boy himself in the foyer. You began walking up the stairs together, but found Peter frowning at you as you realized he'd asked you a question. You blinked at him.

"What?"

"You alright Lele? You seem distracted."

You pushed your hair out of your face with a grimace. "I'm being evicted."

It was Peter's turn to blink at you. "What?"

"That bozo, Ethan, is kicking me out." You tried to keep the childlike petulance out of your voice but failed miserably.

"Oh, shit. What are you gonna do?" You hated to be the reason for Peter's worried expression.

"I don't know. I'll figure something out though Pete, I always do." You kissed him on the cheek and patted him on the arm as you reached your perspective doors. "Goodnight, Pete."

Friday was usually games night, but he seemed to understand your lack of excitement without you having to explain. You threw him a grateful look and went your separate ways.

Read the rest on Ao3

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki x you #loki smut #loki fluff #loki angst #loki fic #loki fanfic #mcu #peter parker #a girl walks into a tower

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1833outboy · 4 years

Note

hello yes, it is i, a person desperate for content. i’ve gone through all of the fics on your last peterick fic rec, you wouldn’t have any more by chance? so sorry to bother you ahaha i’m just craving peterick yk? i will literally give you my firstborn

hello! so sorry this is so late, it took a while to put together. i think the last (and only, iirc) rec list i did is like 2 years old, so i’m definitely due to make a new one! (old rec list is here, for anyone interested)

completed fics

with the moon in his arms by miserylovedme [e, 40k+] pete is a merman who saves patrick’s life.

show me a truman by awkwardgturtle [e, 35k+] a series of fics featuring pete in a truman show au.

schrodingerverse by @earlgreytea68 [m, 20k+] the first fic in this series is probably like... one of my favourite fics ever, for various reasons. pete decides to get a tinder, patrick joins him and pete realises his feelings for his bff may not be quite so platonic. also pete has an adorable son. the other fics in the series are about life during quarantine and they’re wonderful too.

louder than bombs by @sn1tchesandtalkers [e, 18k] fun fact about me - i love apocalyptic, end of days type shit. it’s my jam and one day i’ll write my own zombie fic or something similar. i don’t really need to though, because snitches wrote this end of days van days fic and it’s perfect. it’s not zombies, it’s nuclear fallout, and it’s full of hurt/comfort, angst, and dumb boys being dumb. (it’s also a complement fic to @das-verlorene-kind ‘s amazing art!)

a handful of hopeful words by @carbonbased000 [t, 15k] pete is a best selling author in the midst of a divorce, patrick is his editor. the pining in this!! also, i love pete’s voice very much. so good.

abstract impressions by @folie-aplusieurs [e, 44k+] a hiatus fic that focuses on patrick’s ‘we liked you better fat’ blog post and his feelings prior to the reunion as pete places himself back into patrick’s life and offers some comfort.

the kiss scene by @hum-my-name [g, 33k] a peter pan theatre au! with lots of peter pan parallels. super cute.

ever brave by @the-chaotic-panda [m, 21k] another post apocalyptic au, this time with pete as an alien robot who should be killing humans like patrick, but instead decides to save him. i love this fic. lots of lovely hurt/comfort.

don’t want to be a footnote by @shark-myths [m, 45k+] patrick is a lawyer without a family who decides to put in an ad for a husband and son on craigslist to give merit to a white lie he’s being telling his coworkers. pete answers his call. featuring a wonderfully villainous joe trohman.

sanctuary (a feral tale) by @glitterandrocketfuel [m, 20k] an a/b/o van days fic where the boys crash the van and have to head over to the mysterious cookietown until it’s fixed. i suppose technically it’s a christmas fic, but i found myself rereading it in the middle of june tbh; it’s that good, y’know.

little red riding hoodie by @laudanumcafe [e, 10k] an a/b/o little red riding hood au with pete the great big softie of a wolf. funny and charming!

“don’t you want your heart eaten?” asked the fire by @carbonbased000 & @andwhatyousaid [e, 34k] a howls moving castle au! i’ve never seen/read howls, but this fic is beautiful and magical.

come into the water by @das-verlorene-kind [e, 34k] another pete the merman fic! this is the perfect fish out of water story.

i am collapsing star with tunnel vision (but only for you) by @toorational [m, 15k] pete is injured during a show. lots of lovely hurt/comfort!

wips

crooked love by @sn1tchesandtalkers [e] patrick is a corporate asshole who uses sex to relieve stress. pete’s all too happy to help.

the music or the misery by @carbonbased000 [e] a high fidelity au!

you’re the culmination of everything i’ve never had by @earlgreytea68 [m] pete’s a big movie star who walks into quiet little patrick’s record store.

husband on the payroll by @das-verlorene-kind [e] marriage of convenience turns into feelings!

power on by @folie-aplusieurs [unrated] patrick is an android that falls into pete’s possession. pete doesn’t care for androids, but patrick is no ordinary robot.

from now on we are by @hum-my-name [unrated] an enemies to lovers fic where patrick agrees on a dangerous bet in order to save his father’s record studio.

love in the middle of a firefight by @smalltalktorture [e] a lovers to enemies to friends to lovers fic with patrick the paramedic and pete the firefighter, featuring boyfriend bob the bastard cop.

like a wave by @the-chaotic-panda [e] patrick goes on vacation, away from his wife and his kids, to set his mind at ease. then he meets pete.

one day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster by heavensgate [e] an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au!

reasons to breathe by throwingupsparkles [e] pete the single dad falls for his kid’s music teacher.

franz kafka, frank zappa by @battylite [e] a slowburn about falling in and out of love, in which navigating young adulthood is just as complicated as it seems.

i also recommend checking out the other stuff these authors have written!! i could’ve just listed everything a whole bunch of these authors ever wrote, but then this post would be very long and i would never be finished.

also, while i’m here: here’s my stuff, most of it from last year when i knew how to write.

i know i’ve unintentionally missed a lot of awesome authors, so please feel free to add more!

#peterick #fic recs #fob fanfic #fall out boy fanfiction #fob #did you know you can't underline stuff anymore?#i can't anyway #what's that about #i really hope all those links go to the right places lmao #queerteez

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euaxel · 3 years

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heyyy, eonia. i’m reid, i’m twenty-three, still can’t read, and all i know about pjo is that it fucking rocks and the protag has the same learning disabilities that i do! also, i picked hypnos for this punk mainly to be mean to him and because in the hades game hypnos bullies me every time i die and i’m kiiiinda into it. hmu on discord one on one for the best plotting experience, but i’ll be around plenty to bug y’all in the gc too. you can read about bastard boy number one right here and under the cut we’ll get down to business.

⟨ ELLIOT FLETCHER. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AXEL EVERETT is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT & COMBAT TACTICS MAJOR from BROOKLYN, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite WITTY & SELF-DEPRICATING.

be advised, axel’s a pretty heavy character. i’m gonna keep it brief for the bio & need-to-knows, tag around the parts with bold applicable triggers so you can skip around as needed, and tag this post accordingly, but just let me know if i miss anything and i’ll fix it & be safe reading. godspeed and i apologize in advance for bringing you all my personal punching bag as my first muse.

the main triggers that are gonna come up are: parental abuse, alcoholism * major, mentions of bullying, drowning * major, religious trauma, and drug abuse with some harder drugs ( particularly, weed, pills and cocaine / nothing with needles. )

general stats.

— full name , axel harley everett. — nicknames/alias , axe, ax, wolverine jr, tyler durden jr, trouble, Who? - every professor he’s ever had. — house, hypnos and mad about it. — age, 22, as of today. also mad about it. — gender, trans male. — pronouns, he/him. — sexual orientation, bisexual with a somewhat heavy masc lean. — d.o.b, january 1st, 1999. ( generally unknown to anyone but maybe siblings, he will probably lie and say Nobody Knows... I Just Am unless he really fucks with you. ) — hometown,

phys.

— height, 5′0ft even. furious about it. — eyes, brown. — hair, brown. — face claim, elliot fletcher.

misc.

— zodiac, capricorn. — alignment, chaotic good. — character inspo, lip gallagher, steve rogers ( young ), ellie from tlou1, logan howlett, stiles stilinski ( if anyone says shit i will scream ), probably someone from euphoria but i’m too scared to watch that, peter parker ( andrew garfield ), shinsou hitoshi, finn mertens, marceline the vampire queen, dipper pines, this is all over the place but it’s there. — most played spotify songs, passion for publication by anarbor, sober haha jk unless by hospital bracelet, nobody by mitski, class of 2013 by mitski, king princess’ cover of monster from adventure time, way too much phoebe bridgers, in love or whatever by future teens, and the entire front bottoms discography but especially in sickness & in flames with the hard way & bus beat well at the top of his loop. — aesthetics, bloody knuckles, left open and tipped over prescription bottles, walking on the carpet with socks to get that tingly feeling, skateboarding inside, dozing off at the bar, tangled legs in messy sheets, ten pillows on a twin sized mattress, laying down in the shower, brian sella’s cracky singing voice.

bio.

— axel was born and raised in brooklyn, new york, and he was claimed at thirteen, on his thirteenth birthday, by hypnos. — the day he was claimed, axel ceased contact with his human mother and his step-dad, and he attended a camp for half-bloods that wasn’t far from home. he spent his adolescence there year round for safety from monsters at home and abroad, then moved on to eonia. — ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw begin ) i don’t want to be too graphic here so i’m going to plainly say that axel’s mother was a very, very bad person, and the man she married was absent at his best, physically abusive at worst. axel’s powers ( hypnokinesis, namely ) were potent and difficult to control at a young age, and as a deeply religious catholic woman, this scared his mother and influenced most of the animosity in their relationship. she was convinced that the defensive visions he created and his ability to put her to sleep ( an attempt to help her, on his end; insomnia plagued her and later, it would him, too ) were of demonic origin, and tried to drown him more than once; cleansing, she claimed. the worst instance was the day he was claimed, actually — new years day, 2012; his life was saved by hypnos, and that was the last he saw of her. ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw end. ) — that said, he’s a little ( very ) hydrophobic. poseidon kids do NOT fucking interact ( i’m kidding. kind of. he Will avoid a little though ) — anyway! moving on. all of this aside, axel did his best to put his past behind him, and he was actually super stoked to learn that his powers came from somewhere good and that there was places out there for kids like him; to learn he wasn’t any kind of monster. ( still working on believing that, though.. marcelines monster.mp3 right here ) — he’s less stoked when he starts having trouble falling asleep, and really, it feels like a more cruel twist than any other fate has thrown at him ( his upbringing was chock full of mean twists, so that’s saying something ); and really, it’s more like insomnia just full on kicks in, but he can put other people to sleep. great, right? whatever, though — combat classes are kickass and he’s surrounded by babes that think he’s hilarious so things could be totally, way worse. — ( bullying tw (brief) ) for the most part, axel was pretty well liked among his peers. he was bullied as a young kid (pre-claim), but he bit back and he bit back hard, and sure, some of that followed him into his teen years but he’s more confident by then; less fun to poke at, and absolutely unhinged when provoked, so people learn better of it. the only real lasting effect was one instant that hit him a little too deep in the inferiority, when he was seventeen — he fell in love with a girl, told her that, and found himself at the end of a very mean spirited prank. he shook it off like he did anything else, or at least — he told himself he did, even if the hurt hit him somewhere a little too deep rooted ( ie. being god’s most unlovable son would naturally land him here, right? ) love’s kinda stupid anyways, so what the hell, right? (bullying tw end.)

— ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw begin ) this is already obscenely long so i’m just going to keep it to the point here and say he began drinking when he was sneaking booze in to camp at fifteen, and it just never stopped there. he’s also a massive stoner, which is all well, harmless and good for the most part; he’s always grinning, half-lidded, and has a room full of smoke at any given time. it’s the pills that do him in, and he did them at first just so he could get some shut eye, and... well. after that, because he’s dependent on them. but he keeps this part under wraps for the most part; it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem but his, and it’s not a problem until it is one. partying’s fun, so is coke; so is taking a few too many xan’s, mdma. ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw end )

FUN FACTS!!!

— i swear he is not as doom and gloom as he sounds from the bio, and yeah, writing that made me so sad i feel like we absolutely must hone in on the fun and cute things about him!?! — he loves dnd. he can talk about it for HOURS and if you let him, he absolutely will. — adventure time makes him cry. he’s a baby don’t let him fool you. — very into cryptids, aliens, horror stories, conspiracy theories, in love with ryan from watcher, wanna be shane medej. — he loves to draw! the one thing he loves about his power is what it’s done for his imagination, and sure, he mostly draws horror things, but it’s why he went into video game development. he wants to be a concept artist. — his double major is in combat tactics because he loves fighting. he thinks it’s so fun. he’s a little nuts, actually — i mean, get hit in the face and come up grinning. all he’s ever wanted is to run a fight club and be the shortest, baddest little bitch on the planet. — he tends to nod off in weird places because he doesn’t sleep enough at night, which is sad, but; he can seriously fall asleep anywhere. standing up, in a tree, you name it. — he’s a hobby musician! he loves singing and playing guitar. — he’s a huge flirt. — loves to scare people. he’s harmless, though. like, honestly. he might make you think you’re seeing a walking toadstool but he’ll probably apologize later. — he’s very much a singing in the shower type? — clothes thief. friends and significant others beware. — actually, just kind of a thief? but of weird, little things. like, just the left shoe. puts them in a little corner in his room that he has set up like an exhibit. “things you thought you lost lol” is written on the whiteboard on the wall above it. he likes collecting rocks too. he’s a little freak!! — he’s better at the memory retrieval part of his power than the rest. naturally, as this mostly applies for other people.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. im literally so tired of hearing myself talk...

friends/squad. self explanatory!!! he’s friendly, a class clown, and a loyal friend through and through; he’s also adaptable, and his demeanor is very relaxed and inviting. he’s probably gonna have 2-3 people that he’s really close with, and he’d do quite literally anything for them. seriously, don’t tempt him. a best friend. so this is kind of vague but. i’d really love for him to have one person that is just a tier above the rest? they’d know things about him that are like pulling teeth to find out ( aka, anything deeper than his most recommended podcasts and loudmouth opinions on non important things ), someone who will call him on his shit, and maybe take care of his stupid little self when he gets too fucked up, because they’d be someone he trusts enough to let them. enemies? he probably gets along with most people until given a reason not to? but he is a loud mouth and if one of his friends gets into drama, he will stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he will throw hands, so it could happen.

harmless rivalries. maybe even steamy ones. he’s a little shit and he likes banter so, so, so much? if given the opportunity and if someone rubs him a certain type of way, he’s so not above being a menace, although never super maliciously. just, you know, annoying the shit out of them on purpose, for fun. he’s also not above blowing a few kisses their way.

current hookups. self explanatory too. he’s a little harlot. HFBHVFNJ. it’s gonna be kinda hard to go beyond sex with him because he’s very deep in his own insecurity but he does catch feelings, he’s just mad about it when he does. i’m mostly gonna go off chem for that though! an ex. could be on friendly terms? but, it should be noted that he could’ve ghosted someone too; or pulled from the relationship when things got serious and he couldn’t choke out that ‘i love you’, even if he felt it. worse, if he did choke it out, but they didn’t feel the same way. siblings. hypnos kids he is gonna be so protective of all of u... family is hard for axel, i’m ngl, but he really wants one is the tragedy of it all, i guess? so he just really wants to be a good brother. he thinks hypnos is kind of a dick for making him but he tries not to fault him for his existence. fuck u dad i dont wanna be alive feels a little unfair. HDBHFDSJ. anyways he’s a good brother even if he is absolutely so reckless and terrifying in regards to himself but his siblings. his siblings he will do anything for. ALSO!!! FOUND FAMILY!!!! it would be kinda nice if he bonded with someone a little older maybe, could be outside of the hypnos house even, someone he’s kind of a bratty-little-brother type with.... or bratty older brother that takes your things and makes you laugh, y’know.

PERSONALITY. just tacking this part of the app on at the end too to highlight parts that i think are important for understanding who he is, and just so it’s all in one place!

toothy grins, half-lidded eyes, and keepin’ them laughing is what it’s all about, baby. axel walks with more confidence in his posture than he’s earned ( or claimed, for that matter ), and it’s the backbone of what gets him by. he’s a glowing example of the fake it ‘til you make it mentality, and he knows what he wants, usually how to get it, and doesn’t mind letting you know that. there’s an ever present mischievous glint in his eyes that says more about what to expect from him than he does, and that’s still not much? he likes to have fun, and there isn’t a whole lot of regard for righteousness or responsibility on his end, but hey! it’s usually only ever at his own expense, so what’s the damage? he’s an absolute clown and he knows it.

axel loves people. he does — you might not guess that with how elusive he is, but it’s true. there’s nothing he likes more than a good conversation with someone interesting, or maybe not even then; if there’s a sparkle in you, he’ll see it. ( might even draw it, not that you’d ever know. ) he’s warm, loyal, compassionate, relaxed, and understanding; and none of that is at the cost of being passive, or lacking passion.

as long as the vibes are right, he’s happy to just be; though, he’s known to have a fuse for certain provocations, and will jump readily at chance to fight in someone else’s honor. also, it’s not unlike him to spar for the sake of sparring; but that’s all in good fun, no worries.

there’s no way to sugarcoat it — axel has an inferiority complex. where that stems from is something he’s more self-aware of than he’s willing to admit, but he doesn’t have the patience or the will to dissect it; much less do anything about it, and he’s as bull-headed as they come — especially regarding anything related to the psyche. how much this impacts his demeanor and relationships with others varies on the situation, but one constant is that he’s going to retreat before things get bad; even if ‘things are getting bad’ exists only as his own paranoia-born hypothetical.

things can’t go bad if you don’t let them, and he’s content to keep it that way; even if it means being stuck in the stasis of missed opportunities. it’s when he’s retreating into himself that he can get irritable, anxious, jumpy; secretive, defensive, even. he’s personable until he isn’t, essentially.

#euintro #ik elliots like 5'7 but i've never let this kid be taller than me and i will not start now #parental abuse tw #bullying tw #drug use tw #alcoholism tw #drowning tw #religious trauma tw #jesus christ whats wrong with me #anyway who wants him #Because I Dont #anyway im not fucking proofreading it JBFGHBFJFBDJSKNMA im so sorry this is a monster in length

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skekheck · 4 years

Text

30 Days of the Dark Crystal Challenge

Decided to do poultry-blocks Dark Crystal challenge because it looks like a lot of fun to do. However I’m cheating and I wrote all of this within a couple of days. Warning: fairly large post with pictures and fan ramblings.

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE DAY 16 WHOOP. It’s in there now.

Day 1. Your favorite skeksis

Idiot, feral, wildman who stole my heart. How? Why? Who knows. *chef kisses* Beautiful stinky bastard.

Day 2: Your favorite gelfling

Bless her and her skeksis cosplay. What a queen.

Day 3: A character that you love that everyone seems to hate.

The tides are changing for her it seems. I think people are appreciating her more, but she still faces her fair share of controversies. Not that I don’t think it warrants discussion nor am I excusing her actions. But she’s way more complex than what a lot of people are making her out to be.

Day 4: A character that you hate that everyone seems to love.

Hate is a strong word as I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care for Amri. He feels like a bootleg Deet mixed with a little bit of Kylan and Gurjin. Wasted potential and honestly shouldn’t have been the POV for Tides of the Dark Crystal. Seems I’m alone in this opinion, though. Maybe the book warrants rereading?

Day 5: Movie or TV Show? Why?

TV Show by miles! I think the series accomplishes way more than the movie does, like establishing lore, better written characters, and a more engaging story. I actually cared about the gelfling and it really fleshed out the skeksis in an interesting way outside of “oh they do evil things because they’re evil!”. Doesn’t mean it does everything right, but I’ll get into that later.

Day 6: Something you wish that happened in the series but didn’t.

Just a few things. I miss the gelfling intermingling with the mystics, particularly urVa. I love everything that happens with urGoh and skekGra, but some of the bonding moments Naia had with urVa are precious and I wish we had more of that. I also wished the gelfling got the message out to the other clans like they did in the book where Kylan dreametched their message onto the Santuary Tree’s blossoms and scattered them all throughout Thra. I also wished Tavra and Onica were an established couple, but maybe it’s not too late for that.

Day 7: Favorite gelfling clan

The Sifa! It was the Dousan at first, but the more I learned about the Sifa the more I grew to love the clan. If I were a gelfling I would probably be a sifa myself LOL.

Day 8: You opinion on Aughra

She’s a fun and fascinating character! Aughra puts a unique spin on the whole beautiful, wise earth goddess trope by making her ugly, old, and cranky. She’s also a character with her own flaws, even having a mini arc about neglecting to take care of her planet and doing whatever she can to make amends. Not to mention she’s wildly entertaining. Much love for Aughra!

Day 9: Skeksis or Gelfling?

Both!

Day 10: Your opinion on podlings?

They’re just funky little potato people who just want to have fun, dance, and drink all day and I respect them for that. They’re great. Also Hup exists and he’s just an amazing character so there’s that.

Day 11: Your The Dark Crystal unpopular opinion

I think it’s okay to sympathize with the skeksis as long as one is not excusing their actions. I see a lot of people say you shouldn’t because they’re evil and they commit atrocities. Which, yes, it’s true, but I think both can co-exist. I mean, skekTek’s whole cycle of abuse is written very sympathetically yet the show doesn’t coddle him. It shows the ugliness of his character and what happens when someone isn’t capable of cutting off from said cycle. Also the writers consider the skeksis as tragic characters due to their broken nature so I don’t think it’s wrong to be a little sympathetic. But once again with great emphasis, sympathy is fine as long as their actions are judged. They are awful bastards and no amount of sympathy will change that.

Day 12: Something you dislike about the series

I think the stuff I don’t like about the show is a result of its pacing and cluttered cast. There are so many stories going on and while I liked how they handled it for the most part, you can also see how the show rushes to get through all of them. A lot of important moments where a character should reflect or something that should simmer more is pushed aside for the next thing. Maybe if the show was given more episodes and time to breath it would have been better off.

Day 13: Most disappointing thing about the series

SkekMal and urVa didn’t have enough screen time and we were honestly ROBBED.

Day 14: Your OTP

Speaking of which... . Its a crack ship, but I’m all about that allegory for self love (and I just want these two to be alive). Day 15: Favorite quote

Listed plenty of my favorite quotes before, but I’ll pick this one:

“ Life is my paint. Death is my canvas”

Day 16: Rate the skeksis from least favorite to favorite OR rate the gelfling from lest favorite to favorite [or both!]

And if you want my gelfling hot takes, here’s this list (just backwards in context to this post)

Day 17: Opinion on Raunip?

Raunip is a fantastic character. I loved him in Creation Myths and I can’t wait to see what role he’d play in the resistance. And I absolutely love the parallels between him and the urskeks it’s great.

Day 18: A character that is most similar to you.

I too am a dark-dwelling gremlin who constantly forgets where I put things and crack a few dark jokes at my expense.

Day 19: Which character do you strongly dislike, why?

This is entirely based on the books, but I find Mera to be awful. I think it’s because she’s so fake and condescending? When Naia arrived in Sami Thicket, she was acting nice and polite but when the Drenchen asked her why the skeksis never visited Sog Mera responded “It’s only worth counting what’s valuable”. She continuously disrespects her by calling her pet names even when Naia became maudra. It doesn’t come off as cute, it’s gross. I don’t recall Mera ever apologizing for any of the shit she did to Naia... or Kylan for that matter. She was a pretty neglectful step-mother to him. She doesn’t have an excuse being busy with Maudra stuff because Laesid was a kickass mom to her kids. So in conclusion, fuck this bitch.

Day 20: What do you like so much about the Dark Crystal?

The better question what’s not to love about the Dark Crystal? It has amazing creature design, an expansive world that feels real and alien from our own, having complex and interesting characters as well as villains, the fact that it relies heavily on practical effects a.k.a puppetry... . There’s nothing like it and that’s what makes it so wonderful and unique. It needs to be appreciated more.

Day 21: Favorite music piece from the soundtrack?

Can’t beat that opening theme.

Day 22: Your opinion on the sequel comics [Power/Beneath the Dark Crystal]

They have cool concepts and ideas, but they’re not written well. Power is just the movie if it was put into a blender and shredded and ignoring a large portion of established lore for the sake of plot. And Beneath is just a generic fantasy story with the Dark Crystal logo slapped on it.

Day 23: Which character from the YA novels/comics do you wish we would see more of?

There are plenty of characters that are a given to appear in the series at some point (skekSa, skekLi, urSan, etc). And of course I want to see them, but I really hope Periss shows up (and his brother too). He is one of my favorite characters from the book series and we could use some more Dousan rep!

Day 24: Your opinion on the Age of Resistance comic?

I have yet to read the comics. I’m waiting on them to be part of a collection so I don’t have to buy all of the volumes at once (I prefer owning physical copies). I’ve heard good things about them, especially the story with Hup and the current Mayrin arc. I’m excited to get my hands on them.

Day 25: The best moment/scene in the series?

There are a lot of great moments, but Rian and Ordon’s fight with skekMal is still my favorite in the entire series. The "Speak For the Dead” scene is a close second.

Day 26: The death of a character that hurt you the most?

He did not deserve this. Fuck you, skekMal.

Day 27: Your favorite episode from the series?

It’s got to be 4. Not just because a number of my favorite characters debut in this episode, but it’s an important one for the plot. Stakes are being raised, we’re seeing set ups to major story elements and character arcs, and events that impact the rest of the series. It also has a handful of my favorite character moments and interactions.

Day 28: Your favorite non-skeksis and non-gelfling character? Why?

I’ve come to realize the reasons why I love urVa are the same as why I love skekMal (incredibly appropriate I might say). There’s enough information about him that we get a good understanding on who he is as a character, but still mysterious enough that there’s interest in wanting to know more. Much like his skeksis, he’s unique from the other mystics and thus giving him unique experiences that are fun to speculate. However, the YA novels are responsible for my current fondness of him.

Day 29: Do you like the urru and skeksis apart or like them as urSkeks together?

A main theme of the Dark Crystal is unity and balance. The main conflict of the franchise are the skeksis, the broken fragments of their urskek self who, according to the writers, “...[have] a dire need for the qualities they lack”. Their only salvation is to become urskeks again and unfortunately many of the pairs never achieve this. They’re basically a giant allegory for the self and self-love. While we don’t really know what they were like when they were an urskek (aside from SilSol perhaps), we can get some understanding when we look at their pairs and see what traits they share. Speculation is also fun! So as much as I love the skeksis and mystics as individuals, I prefer them to be whole again.

Day 30: What are your wishes for a possible season 2?

A whole bunch of things. I want to see them explore more about the mystics and their lifestyle, having Raunip play a big part in the plot, seeing more of skekSa’s fall from grace from her perspective, the beginning of the Garthim Wars, and more.

#the dark crystal #my posts #long post

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shadowfae · 3 years

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Alien paratype link anon here again with a vent. The fandom server I'm on is mostly good but there are so. Many. Kinnies. jfc. Pretty clearly just using it as i really like and identify with various characters from the game. It's frustrating because I fictionflicker with the main human villain from the game who I love dearly fairly often (the reason I dislike a popular ship in the fandom tbh) other people that might be having alterhuman experiences related to the game could be very interesting

(Part 2) but that's likely not what's happening here. I kinda want to bring up the topic of terminology and other forms of alterhumanity with them but I get the sense it will open a Whole Can of Worms. I refer to myself as a space alien pretty often on there but i don't think they know I'm not kidding

So you’ve hit on a bit of a personal topic here, but hoo boy, how about I throw advice at you in hopes you learn from my mistakes.

Firstly, go talk to the admin of the server. Speaking as an admin of a fandom server, the last thing an admin wants is someone starting shit about something they don’t know enough about to weigh in on and do damage control. Nobody likes waking up and finding out they’ve been pinged twenty times with demands to ban people, fifty people have left, and you have no idea what the fuck just happened while you were asleep.

So go talk to the admin, raise your concerns with them, and get their input on how you want to fix this without a flame war. When this happens, one of four things will happen:

One, they’ll take your side and put out a few announcements asking people to stop bastardizing terminology, and people will listen. This is the Good End. Two, they’ll take your side, but they’ll either not actually do anything or people won’t listen. This is Normal Ending 1. Three, they’ll ask you why the hell it matters, not do anything, and you’ll be stuck; Normal Ending 2. Or four, they’ll tell you to fuck off, and you’ll be forced out of the server, and if the fandom is small enough / the admin is petty enough, you’ll get blacklisted from the fandom. That is the Bad Ending.

So if you get stuck with the Bad Ending, I’m sorry, join the club, expect to need a few sessions of therapy to help you with that depending on how bad the fallout is. That’s what happened to me, anyway.

If you get either of the normal endings, consider making your own server and dragging all the people you like into it. You can make it as a “Alien Anon and Friends” server, or you can make it as just a fandom server, but know if you do the latter, the admin may take offense and see it as you trying to usurp them in their server (which puts you into Bad Ending territory). So be careful on how you do that. If you got NE1, then you can just invite the admin too and they might be cool with that.

If you get the Good Ending, I’m jealous, keep that server around.

However, it may also be possible to get people to quit by doing exactly what you and I already do: talking about otherkin and what it actually is, focus on the positive, and when you think the server can handle it, feel free to bitch a little about how much kinnies have hurt you. Don’t fully open up, but make it clear that it hurts when people do that. Is it manipulative? Yeah, a little. But this is what we call cyberpolitics on a smaller level, and even when done for good, politics are always, always manipulative.

If people take your side, it’ll be clear to the kinnies that they’re not actually otherkin by virtue of doing that, that they’re being disrespectful, and that behaviour is not tolerated as much as it once was. If they don’t, uh, that’ll be a problem.

One of the ways I ended up accidentally getting a fair few folks in the Saint Seiya fandom to listen to me on ‘kin topics was actually through my fanfiction: I write Hades’ Spectres as incredibly animalistic in a painfully obvious theriomythic manner, and since I’m an okay enough writer, when I start talking about ‘kin stuff, they automatically figure out that I’m projecting my own experiences onto Spectres, and since people like how I write Spectres and think it’s very creative, people shut up and listen to me because they know I’m the expert here.

Saint Seiya is a small fandom, divided largely by language - if you’re speaking the same language on the same platform, you know who everyone is. As far as English StS goes, I’m well-enough known. So there’s power in that. That’s the sort of power you need to have if you’re fighting off kinnies in a fandom space: the only people who can counter cyberpolitics like that are typically BNFs. You have to garner the respect and expertise, and then people will listen, and then you can shift the general climate towards that sort of behaviour.

If you do it as just some random person, people will brush you off as trying to start shit. You do it as a respected member of the community / fandom, and people listen.

It’s all about perspective, politics, and reputation. A difficult game to play, but if you want to make any sort of change, it’s the game you have to play. It’s not a game I enjoy playing, not by a long shot. But if we want to walk into spaces where people aren’t actively hostile to us, we don’t really have a choice.

#asks #alien anon #anonymous #Anonymous #on public relations #on wishkin #on pr

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riverboundao3ff · 4 years

Text

Riverbound, Chapter 17

All in all, Lanque’s a whole lot calmer about the whole thing than you thought he’d be, which makes you feel better about going to him right away instead of Daraya. Of course you love Daraya, but knowing the kid she’d probably run off to start a fight with Bronya, Lynera, and any other poor bastard who gets in her way.

“I want to believe Bronya’s doing this because she thinks she’s in the right, but I just can’t… augh! I just… can’t believe she’d ask me to do something like that.” You conclude your messy rant by flopping down on the carpet. There’s a dull ache in your skull from either exhaustion or anxiety, possibly both.

Lanque’s looking down at you from the loveseat in the corner like the universe’s most judgemental therapist, sprawled across the whole thing with his gangly self. “You haven’t known her nearly as long as I have. You heard me say once that she’s the craziest bitch in the whole cloister. I meant it.”

You want to argue with him; Bronya isn’t crazy, just a control freak, but that’s gonna have to be a discussion for another time. “You’re not surprised at all by this? Not even a little?”

“Not surprised. Just… disappointed.”

“What, does she make you to sleep at certain times and check your palmhusk, too?” you joke.

“Not anymore, she doesn’t. She learned her lesson after I filled my whole camera roll with the spiciest nudes you can imagine.”

You try not to imagine anything of the sort and fail miserably. Your last brain cell hangs on for dear life. “So, uh… w-what should I tell her the next time we go out?”

“Tell her that I’ve been taking Daraya to a slam poetry club. We’ve actually done poetry in the past, so it’s not like you’ll be lying,” he says with a smirk. “You should come sometime. Talk to people about all sorts of controversial alien opinions. Maybe throw in some rhymes while you’re at it.”

“Alright,” you agree.

“... Darling?”

“Yes, babe?”

“Don’t breathe a word of this to Daraya. She’s stressed out enough as it is.”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

:::

The next night you spend with Polypa, vandalizing stuff with the Heiress’s face on it and even setting a billboard on fire. It’s a lot of fun, but between vandalizations you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the girl herself. From what you can tell she’d be around seventeen in human years, which meant she’d soon have to challenge the Empress, as all the Heiresses before her did.

Some teenagers like to play video games, some like to sing or dance or do sports; you even know a few who live all by themselves on an island in the middle of the ocean who can shoot guns better than most military personnel. But not Trizza Tethis. No, she’ll be off to duel for the throne… and her life.

In your hearts of hearts you know that Tethis is a monster. There’s no doubt about it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still just a kid, a kid who is going to be murdered soon for the crime of reaching adulthood.

It makes your heart hurt just thinking about that, and all of the other girls that came before her, and if this rebellion goes to shit all the girls who will come after her.

“Hey, Polypa?” you ask.

“Yeah?” She’s hanging upside-down on some broken piping while spraying THE REVOLUTION IS HERE on the side of a post office. You’re being a good moirail and keeping watch for anybody who might see her, even though it’s dark out and you can’t see much past the street lights lining the sidewalk. For some reason she refuses to tell you, she’s been in a mood ever since she came back from Tegiri’s, but you’re patient. You can wait for her.

“Do you ever wonder if Trizza might have been a good person if Alternia wasn’t the way it is?”

Polypa stops what she’s doing and stares down at you. “Honestly? I don’t really care how she might have turned out if things were different. All the things I’ve seen her do, the shit I’ve heard her say on social media… I just can’t bring myself to believe anything other than she’s one of the most horrible Heiresses Alternia’s ever had and that she deserves to die. Slowly and painfully, that is. And then she deserves to be forgotten.”

“That’s fair,” you tell her. “I dunno, I just kept thinking about how she’s supposed to go off and duel the Empress soon, and that she’s definitely not gonna win, because none of the fuschias who went up against her ever did.”

“... Does that make you sad?”

“It makes me sad that a kid is going to die, yes.”

She huffs. “Save your sympathy. She doesn’t deserve it.”

“Can trolls control who they sympathize with?”

“Of course we can. Can’t humans?”

You laugh. “No. Or at least I can’t. Empathy’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa chucks her spray-paint can into the nearby dumpster. “Empathy? Isn’t that like, feeling what other people are feeling? I thought that was just a myth.”

“Some humans can feel the emotions of others. I’ve always been able to.”

“That sucks.”

“Again, it’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa shudders, flips upright, and then drops down to the concrete. “If you say so. C’mon, let’s scram.”

You scram, or at least you try to before somebody bumps into you hard enough to nearly knock you over.

“Watch it!” Polypa hisses from somewhere behind you.

You look up at a boft looking (buff plus soft) rustblood guy, who flinches back when he accidentally looks you in the eye. “Sorry! Sorry. Bye.”

He shuffles off down the street, shoulders hunched in like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible even though he’s easily the biggest rust you’ve ever seen. Huh.

“Well, that was weird,” you say, and then you feel something crinkle in the hood of your jacket. Cautiously, you reach up and grab it, hoping that he didn’t just put a bomb on you or something. You aren’t that worried about dying, because you know your immortal ass is coming right on back, but if Polypa’s in the blast zone--

“It’s a piece of paper,” she says.

“Oh, yay. I thought it might be a bomb.”

“Definitely not a bomb.”

The paper’s been folded several times, so you smooth it out and read the letters that have been cut out and glued out in a note, like some kind of Nancy Drew shit.

“What the…” You read the message, and then you read it again, once, twice, thrice, four times before Polypa starts swatting at you and grabbing for the paper. You hand it over and stare out across the street.

You are not alone. Tomorrow at midnight.

“I’m texting the others,” Polypa mutters, shoving the paper into her pocket and whipping out her palmhusk.

“There’s more of us,” you whisper. “That’s what it means, right? We’re not the only faction out there fighting for-!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, let’s not believe anything that some stranger wrote down on a piece of paper and shoved into your hoodie--”

“But he came to me, Polypa--”

“Hey!”

Both of you turn around to see some cerulean girl you don’t know storming across the street to you. “The fuck you think you gutterbloods are doing, huh?”

“The revolution is here, bitch,” you tell her, and you grab Polypa’s sleeve and zap away.

Polypa does not hesitate to smack you upside the head the second you two appear on the roof of some building downtown. “The hell was that? She just saw an alien and an oliveblood teleport out of an alley with fresh graffiti on the post office!”

“Who’s gonna believe her?” you snort.

“She’s a cerulean, she’ll make somebody believe her.”

“Dude. Chill. We still have time before things get crazy.”

“Apparently not! Tomorrow at midnight--”

“I know! Isn’t it great? What if it’s like, a big post on Chittr, or a public service announcement from God knows where saying that it’s time for bigots to start shitting their pants, because the revolution is here and it is sexy!”

“Augh!” Polypa throws up her hands. You start to get a little concerned. “Aren’t you scared? Like, at all? We could all die tomorrow and you’re just… totally fine! You disappear for half a sweep and come back ready to lead a revolution!”

Alright, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Slowly, so she has time to pull away if she wants, you step forward and reach up to caress her cheek.

The effect is instantaneous. She visibly loosens up from horns to toes, leaning forward into the contact with a low chirrup rising up from deep in her throat. If you were a troll, that sound would have probably made you pale-horny to the max, but you’re human so all you do is just stand up on your tippy-toes to press your foreheads together. You imagine pulling away all of her fear and stress and releasing it into the open sky, never to be seen again.

“We’re not going to die,” you tell her. “We’re just not. And if we were, I’d tell you, because dying isn’t that bad. Doesn’t even hurt, really.”

“... You’ve been dead before?”

“Yeah. Feels like the best fucking nap you’ve ever taken.”

She snorts hard enough for you to feel her breath across your face. “Only you would say something like that and be completely unbothered.”

“That’s just how it be sometimes,” you say, because joking about your trauma and having anxiety are basically your only two personality traits nowadays.

“I’ll write that down for the pile,” she says, because she’s always been able to see right through you, even when you can’t see yourself. “Which we’re going back to an abandoned apartment building to do once I yeet this glass bottle into that window over there.”

She picks up the broken glass bottle at your feet and proceeds to do just that. It sails through the air with all the majesty of an eagle and crashes through somebody’s office window. You know enough about troll romance by now to be a little scandalized by how forward she’s being, but you both know it’s out of necessity. Troll language is far from just verbal-- it’s flattened ears or bared fangs or dilated pupils. It’s hissing and chirping and growling and all sorts of sounds you don’t even know the names for, and you can’t even hear most of them because they’re either too low or too high a pitch for your human ears to catch.

“Hot damn, wildcat. You gonna take me out to dinner before you throw me down on somebody’s abandoned loungeplank?” you tease. Her face lights up in green, and you grin in satisfaction as she splutters something about saving it for the respiteblock.

You’re about to cook up something truly slutty to say when her palmhusk vibrates. Polypa reads it and snorts. “Aaaannnddd Daraya is losing her mind, Tagora says it’s a trap, Tyzias wants to know what the rustblood looked like, Stelsa is in agreement with Tagora, Lanque is asking how the hell it could be a trap when the rustblood didn’t even ask you to meet him anywhere, and Mallek is telling everybody to shut up so he can take a nap. Konyyl and Azdaja haven’t responded yet. I bet they’re making out in a back alley somewhere. Oh, Tagora is telling Lanque to shut his Troll Twilight-looking ass up before he fines him for wasting the rebellion’s time… and Tyzias just sent a bunch of hysterical laughing emojis.”

“I love my friends,” you say.

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“I’m gonna get Mallek to hack the server so whenever people start arguing over stupid stuff a bot starts spamming the chat with gifs of fighting purrbeasts.”

“Do group chats have servers?”

“I have no idea. Come on, I’m fucking freezing up here.”

:::

Your memories of growing up on Earth are fuzzy at best. You have no idea if it’s from Scratch, or Ultimate Dirk, or hell, maybe it’s just regular old brain damage, but one of the few things you can vividly remember is when your grandma died.

You can’t remember her name, but you can easily recall her eternally-smiling face, that smile that always reached her eyes-- hazel, like yours. She’s the one who taught you how to braid your hair, wing your eyeliner, ask out a crush. She also taught you how to take down a grown man with nothing but your fists and a pocketknife. Old age hadn’t ever been a problem for your grandma. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

The morning your uncle found in her lifeless in bed hadn’t felt any different than all of the mornings before. You just woke up and started to get ready for school, and then your mom… yeah, it was your mom who picked up the phone. She didn’t cry, but your uncle did.

It was a heart attack.

Your mom told you that you didn’t have to go to school, but you were still pretty young, and it still felt like every other morning before so you went to school.

You’re not sure why you’re remembering this when you first smell the smoke, or see the burning buildings from the roof of the abandoned apartment building you and Polypa crashed in. Maybe it’s because it still feels like every other night before this one.

Something deep in you that’s been irreversibly interwoven with time and space begins to tingle. This is a turning point in history, you just know it.

Polypa’s shaking her head like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “It’s a riot. A riot. In Thrashthrust. We really aren’t…”

“Alone,” you finish with a smile so big it hurts your face.

“... Do you think this is really the right thing to do?”

“A wise man from my planet once said that riots are the language of the unheard.” You turn to her and take her hands in your own. “So let’s make them hear us.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting when you drop yourself and Polypa into downtown Thrashthrust, but you definitely weren’t expecting to almost get run over by Konyyl and Azdaja, both panting, sweaty, and smelling faintly of smoke.

Konyyl yelps and jumps about a foot in the air. “WHAT the-- oh, hi, guys. You didn’t scare me, I just… yeah.”

“Dude, what is all this? This is incredible!” you crow.

An explosion rocks the ground, followed by a giant plume of fire that shoots up into the sky just one street over. Azdaja whoops in delight, and Konyyl cheers even louder as a piece of flaming metal you think used to be a scuttlebuggy sails through the air and takes out a convenience store. Normally, something like that would have worried you, but seeing as the store’s already nearly burnt to the ground you think everybody’s already gotten out.

Not to be outdone, Azdaja telekinetically grabs on to a fallen lamppost and hurls that bad boy through the grocery store across the street.

“Show-off,” Konyyl scoffs.

“Where’s the main protest?” you ask.

“Like, a couple of blocks back that way. Some bronzeblood is leading the charge. Absolute mad lad,” she says, grinning. “I think a few more people you know might be there.”

That’s all the convincing you need to grab Polypa’s hand and take off running. You can hear the roar of a crowd chanting something.

“What are they saying?” you ask Polypa.

“Be silent no longer, when we’re together, we’re stronger,” she replied, glancing back at you with a twinkle in her eye. “I kinda like it.”

“Me too!”

The both of you turn the corner at the end of Hookedclaw street and find yourself face-to-face with a sizable crowd of about one hundred trolls. They’re all looking up to a pair of trolls standing on an upturned scuttlebuggy-- a bronzeblood, like Konyyl said, and the same big rustblood guy who you ran into last night.

You gape in shock. “Holy shit!”

The bronzeblood boy is yelling something, so you press closer into the crowd to hear what he’s saying. Most of the trolls here seem to be lowbloods, so when they see you and Polypa, an oliveblood, they gladly make room for you to join.

“... for what? A social construction that keeps us divided, because those who sit on thrones marked with the blood of our people know how strong we are together! They know that we’d be able to take control of our own destinies, and that terrifies them!” He pauses to take a short breath. “For fuck’s sake, I just want a world where I can walk down the street without worrying about getting killed! Is the bar really that damn low? Think about that, all of you!”

Another wave of cheering echoes through the streets, and you join in without hesitation.

“This guy’s spitting straight facts,” Polypa admits, looking impressed.

“He’s got balls, all right,” you agree. “That rustblood guy look familiar to you?”

She ribs you. “Yeah, yeah, you were right. I admit it.”

You turn your attention back to the boys, but they’re looking over the heads of the protestors at something behind you. A soft wave of hisses rise into the air as you turn to see a trio of purples stalking towards everybody, clubs dragging behind them with the awful scrape of steel against concrete. They’re twice the size of Polypa, except the giant fucker in the middle, who you think might be just a little bit shorter than Chahut.

“That’s a pretty sermon there, bronze brother,” he calls with a voice that crackles like burning wood. “Pretty for a load of treasonous fuckin’ shit.”

“Can’t be shittier than whatever they’re cooking up in that drug-hole church of yours,” the bronzeblood fires back with a smirk.

Even the rustblood standing next to him sucks in a sharp breath as the clown regards him with no trace of emotion. Polypa grabs your hand, and you squeeze it tight.

“You’ve got a big-ass mouth for a critter the size of my motherfuckin’ left toe,” the clown on the big guy’s right says.

“And you’ve got a big-ass forehead for a bastard with such a tiny skull.”

Somebody lets out a loud snort. It might have been you.

The feeble tendrils of bravery holding everybody together begin to unravel as the purplebloods begin to approach once more. You instinctively back up and pull your jacket hood over your head.

“Get ready,” Polypa growls.

But before the clowns have the chance to attack or use their chucklevoodoos, or before the lowbloods gather their courage enough to storm the intruders, a deafening CRACK splits the air like a thunderclap.

The clown to the far left drops like a rock, and standing over him, bat raised, is Elwurd.

She’s wearing a mask to conceal her face, of course, but you’d recognize that crest of blue hair anywhere. Beside her is Remele with her oversized mallet-club thing, and bringing up the rear with shining dual blades is none other than Ardata Carmia.

“Am I fucking dreaming,” you ask nobody in particular, and then all hell breaks loose.

The cerulean girls lunge for the two purplebloods that are still on their feet. The bronzeblood screams for everybody to scatter just as drones begin to swoop down from the sky, opening fire on the trolls below. Half a dozen kids drop dead on the spot.

You and Polypa duck into the nearest alleyway just in time before bullet holes pepper the pavement. Behind you, Elwurd roars something that sounds like “Duck!” before another explosion blows out all the windows. You yelp and cover your head as glass showers down on you like rainfall.

“Zap us out of here!” Polypa yells.

“No, wait! We have to go help the girls!”

“I’m not going back out there and neither are you!”

You glance back just in time to see Ardata drop to her knees, holding her bloody arm. She’s shrieking in terror as a drone advances on her, culling fork glinting bone-white in the darkness. Remele and Elwurd are too busy getting their asses kicked by the last living clown to help.

In that moment you can’t remember her as the bloodthirsty murderer who tortured you in her basement. All you can think of is the time she broke down in your arms, overcome with guilt at the monster she’d become in the name of being accepted by highblood society. A monster who’d traumatized you, and then became your friend.

You’re moving through space and time before your brain can catch up to what you’re doing. Ardata is cold and hard when you tackle her out of the way of the drone. The two of you tumble across the street together as the culling fork hits the spot where Ardata just was with a SHUNK. Even with adrenaline racing through your system the sound chills you to the core.

Remembering what Dirk taught you about hand-to-hand combat with a larger opponent, you grab one of her knives and zap right over to the clown, getting right up in his business before burying the blade into an eye socket.

Unsurprisingly, he drops a squirming Remele and covers his face with a scream so horrible you almost pee your pants. Ardata’s wailing your name from the sidewalk like a terrified child. You want to yell at her to shut up and run before the drones spotted her again, but you never get the chance. One moment you’re twisting a knife into a purpleblood’s skull, the next you’re flying through the air like a ragdoll before a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You and your rescuer land hard on the street with matching grunts of pain.

You look up into Elwurd’s bewildered face and burst out laughing. “Hi!”

“What the--”

“Time to go!” Remele yanks the both of you up by your scruffs like a pair of naughty cats. “Ardata, stop screaming like a wiggler and get your arse over here now!”

“My arm!” Ardata screeches. “I’ll be scarred for life!”

“No, you won’t, idiot, not when you hit your adult molt-!”

You zap the three of them out of there and into the alley, grab Polypa on your way, and then get the hell out of dodge.

The five of you end up in the back of a Troll Dennys, because of course you do. Polypa falls on you, knocking you to the ground, and then she yowls in anger when Elwurd lands on her legs, only for Ardata and Remele to hit the concrete ass-first. Remele accidentally kicks you in the stomach. Ardata falls back against a dumpster and hits her head on the metal with a BANG.

Everybody stares at each other for a long moment with varying degrees and expressions of utter shock. Polypa glares at you, and you just know you’re in for a long discussion about putting your own safety first in dangerous situations, or something like that.

You decide to break the ice first. “Anybody want pancakes?”

#riverbound #pesterquest #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim trolls #homestuck #ceruleans #c17 #mspa reader #the guardian

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dailytomlinson · 5 years

Link

It has been a hard few years. Tomlinson’s mother died in 2016, just as he was about to launch his first solo single. In March this year, his 18-year-old sister was found unconscious at her flat in London and couldn’t be revived. We will come to that, but, professionally, Tomlinson was struggling too. One Direction – that supernova of a boy band – broke up in 2015. Or announced they were taking a break. Or “‘hiatus’ or whatever word we use”, he says with a smile.

At the time, Tomlinson, now 27, was finding his place as a songwriter. “I wasn’t singing a lot, I wasn’t the frontman. Without being a sorry little bastard, I thought: ‘How do I do better, how do I make something of myself, an identity?’” In the last 18 months of One Direction, he says, “I felt like I knew who I was in the band, and I felt a real worth for who I was.” The break up, he says, “rocked me. I wasn’t ready for it. I felt like I was getting to be a better songwriter, singer, a more confident performer, and all of a sudden, when I felt I was finally getting some momentum …”

We meet at a bar in north London. Tomlinson greets me with a hug as if I am one of his fans (I am not, particularly, although I am by the end). He seems open but not vulnerable, and more self-aware and modest than you would expect from a man who was once part of the biggest boy band in the world. He is friendly and relaxed, dressed in a black tracksuit, with a beer in front of him.

Tomlinson’s personal tragedies also meant his solo career has had a bit of a stop-start quality, but now it looks as if there is focus and momentum. He released his single Kill My Mind earlier this month; an album will follow next year. Kill My Mind is an indie-pop delight, not so huge a departure as to alienate his fanbase, but it sounds like the music he grew up listening to – Oasis and Arctic Monkeys – and his South Yorkshire accent brings more than a hint of Liam Gallagher-style northern vocals. He sounds confident on them, more so than on the previous singles he put out, a couple of fairly forgettable collaborations. “I think, in hindsight, that was me trying to find my place in the industry and making music I thought I had to make to get on radio.

“I had this epiphany when I was thinking about the music I grew up with,” he continues. “I kind of had a bit of a word with myself and worked out what I want – to be happy and proud of what I’m doing. I love those early singles, but I never really felt proud of them, because it didn’t feel too true to me.”

As a child, growing up in Doncaster with his mum Johannah, who raised him alone until she married Tomlinson’s stepfather, he loved performing. “I liked to be the class clown, I liked to make people laugh, to show off, all that.” When his younger twin sisters were cast on TV dramas, he would sometimes go along as their chaperone, earning £30. “Where I’m from, we don’t have anyone who’s been on TV or anything like that, so it was super-exciting,” he says. He ended up picking up work as an extra. “The pinnacle of my acting career was one line on an ITV drama. I don’t even know if they used my scene,” he says with a laugh.

When he was 15, he joined a drama group in Barnsley, which his mum would take him to when she could afford it. “I think I was confused, thinking I wanted to act when actually what I wanted to do was perform.”

At school he joined a band, where they sang Oasis and Green Day covers, and when The X Factor came up, he made it on to the show in 2010 on his third attempt. He queued from 3am to make sure the producers wouldn’t have audition fatigue before they saw him, and he got his goal – to get in front of Simon Cowell “and just have a professional opinion on how I am as a singer. I was so flustered. Going from school performances to performing in front of professionals, TV cameras, a 3,000-strong audience. I wasn’t present. I sang terribly. I remember coming away from it thinking: ‘I wonder if I’ve got through as one of those lads who looks all right but isn’t really a good singer.’”

Yet he ended up in One Direction, the band the show put together in its 2010 series. For six years they sold tens of millions of records, broke America and each made a rumoured £40m-plus fortune. Their fans, Directioners, are another level of devoted. I don’t know how he coped with the attention, or the pressure.

There were really only a few times when it got too much, says Tomlinson. They were in Australia and a local news station had got a helicopter and a photographer was trying to get pictures of Tomlinson in his top-floor hotel room. “I think I was naked, or just in my boxers, and even in my hotel room there was no escape. I could feel the pressure.” He tweeted about it – “your standard bratty celebrity tweet” – and was attacked. “At times it did stress me out but never was I allowed to whinge, allowed to be a human and say: ‘Today has got too much for me.’ I found that difficult at first.”

But he is keen not to sound as if he is complaining. “There was much more positive that outweighed that.” And he never blames the fans for their intensity. Theirs is a special relationship, he says. “So many people have bullshitted about what they feel about the fans, but they’re like family to me.”

Even when Directioners have got a bit too ardent – there is a conspiracy theory, for example, that he and his bandmate Harry Styles have long been in a secret sexual relationship – he seems more bemused by it than annoyed. Although he is wary, he says, of adding “fuel to the fire” by talking about it. “I know, culturally, it’s interesting, but I’m just a bit tired of it,” he says. The HBO drama Euphoria recently showed an animated sequence of Tomlinson and Styles together, as imagined by a smutty fan-fiction writer. Was it annoying that a show had taken something fairly niche and given it new mainstream life? “Again, I get the cultural intention behind that. But I think …” He trails off, trying to work out what he wants to say. “It just felt a little bit … No, I’m not going to lie, I was pissed off. It annoyed me that a big company would get behind it.”

Why does he think he never went off the rails during the band’s heady period? “My mates and my family, really. It’s from my upbringing and where I come from. If I went back to Doncaster and I was dripping in Gucci or whatever, I’d probably get whacked. I’m always very conscious of not acting too big for my boots. It’s the people around me who keep me sane and normal, because they give me insight into real life. Some celebrities, in pop in particular, only surround themselves with amazingness, and all they see is good, good, good, which is lovely, but you don’t understand the real world then. I have the luxury of my mates around me, just reminding me how fucking good I’ve got it, really.”

The day of One Direction’s final concert in November 2015, Tomlinson and his bandmate Niall Horan sat together “and had a little cry, because it was such a journey we had been on. That day in general was so poignant. As much as you try and prepare yourself, it’s a whole other thing when it comes.” Because they had worked so much with few days off, he assumed that a break would be exciting. “But it wasn’t like that. When you’re used to working however many days, it’s all that more evident when you’re not doing something. Especially in the first six months. My life became –and I don’t mean this to sound derogatory – very normal, from being a life of pure craziness.”

At the same time that Tomlinson was trying to work out what to do with himself, his mother, to whom he was intensely close, had been diagnosed with leukaemia; she died in December 2016. He performed his first single on The X Factor just a few days after her death, then seemed to half-heartedly continue with his solo career, releasing another single in 2017. It would be another two years – during which he became a judge on The X Factor – before he released Two of Us, a raw and beautiful (and under-rated) song.

“After I lost my mum, every song I wrote felt, not pathetic, but that it lacked true meaning to me,” he says. “I felt that, as a songwriter, I wasn’t going to move on until I’d written a song like that.” He knew he needed to get it out of him, but there was a lot of pressure – he felt he should be an experienced songwriter before he attempted it. Two songwriters he worked with played him the chorus. “It was like the song I always wished I’d written. I went in and put my personal touch to the verses. It was a real moment for me in my grief, and as part of the creative process, because it felt like it was hanging over me.”

Earlier this month, an inquest found that his sister Félicité had died of an accidental overdose; she had been taking drugs, including anxiety medication, since the death of their mother. He has been through some terrible times, I say, which must put a perspective on a pop career. “Exactly,” he says, a little quieter than before. “That whole dark side I’ve gone through, it sounds stupid to say, but it gives me strength everywhere else in my life, because that’s the darkest shit that I’m going to have to deal with. So it makes everything else, not feel easier and not less important, but, in the grand scheme of things, you see things for what they are, I suppose.”

His fans have been crucial, he says. “I’m sure every artist says this, but I do believe it. We’ve been through some dark times together and those things I’ve been through, they carry a weight, emotionally, on the fans as well. And I felt their love and support. I remember really clearly when I lost my mum, that support was mad.”

What have the experiences of loss he has been through taught him about himself? He thinks for a second. “I keep going back to it, but I don’t know if it’s a combination of where I grew up and my mum’s influence, but I just have this luxury of being able to see the glass half-full no matter what.” He is the oldest of his mother’s seven children, which is grounding and means, he says, “there’s no time for me to be sat feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been to rock bottom and I feel like, whatever my career’s going to throw in front of me, it’s going to be nothing as big or as emotionally heavy as that. So, weirdly, I’ve turned something that’s really dark into something that empowers me, makes me stronger.”

He gets up to go to the toilet, which I think is his polite way of asking me to move on, although when he gets back he says, by way of a final word on the matter, “I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. That’s not how I feel for myself. Somehow it fuels me.”

One Direction will get back together one day, he believes. He still speaks to the others. “We’re not texting each other every day, but what we do have, which will never go away, is this real brothership. We’ve had these experiences that no one else can relate to.”

Styles has become quite the superstar. The others seem to have steady solo careers. Tomlinson says he’s embarrassed to admit that, when he first went solo, he would have been devastated had his album “only” reached No 3, so used is he to everything he did with One Direction going to the top. Is it hard not to measure himself against his former bandmates? “Oh, naturally,” he says. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I’ve never been competitive like that, but, naturally, you think: ‘If they’re getting this then I deserve that.’ I think, the longer time goes on, I can see it for what it is and just be proud of them.” And success means something else to him now. “It means I’m happy with what I’m doing.”

#louis tomlinson #pop and rock #one direction #music #the x factor #press #240919 #kmm press #the guardian #Guardian Life & Arts #tw death #stunt mention

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captainillogical · 5 years

Text

Devil’s Ballroom ch.1

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Beach City was a small, lovely town, where pretty much everyone knew each other from the inner city to the boardwalk. You've lived your whole life there, and you loved it. It was home. It was also a really strange town, and you're pretty sure the world almost ended like six times in the last 4 years. Although honestly, you never had to worry about that much, since Beach City was also home to the Crystal Gems, and that Steven Universe who just always managed to save the day. So you’re told. Steven was a fun kid, and grew to be one of your good friends (he’s so insistent on being everyone’s friend. It’s very charming and you love him for it), but you’ve mostly spent your time at work this summer.

One of the easiest jobs to get is Funland, since that always tired Mr. Smiley is chewing through people constantly as the pay is shit, the hours are long, and it’s so hot. Like Mr. Smiley says, "Funland is funderstaffed". You feel like he says that to mock you a bit, since there’s just the two of you here. You really only cared to work there on your off season to help dad out with bills, and to see your best friends. Except THIS summer you guess, since all (2) of your best friends had to go out of town for summer either because of family get togethers or romantic getaways. Those bitches. And you were finally of drinking age this summer. You weren't about to let that get you down, or ruin any plans you’ve made yourself in the next upcoming weeks though.

You’re on the last forty minutes of your shift doing the work of four people. Emptying tills around the food court, cleaning tables, emptying trash cans, and jesus christ this task list seems longer today. It feels ever so fucking slow. And warm. You’re melting, you feel disgusting, and you just want a shower. Thank god it’s payday and you have the next two days off, because you seriously wanted to go out and unwind. See, there’s this newly renovated piano bar you’ve wanted to go to for weeks here locally in town, and you had planned on going with your friends.. but. You know what? Screw waiting on them. You’re going tonight. And besides, who knows! Maybe you’ll meet some new people and make a friend, or show your best friends that you can finally get a girlfriend!! Haha.. or at least get drunk enough to ignore the growing loneliness you’ve been feeling as of late, and desperately trying to ignore.

Funland never truly got busy, so you quickly closed the food court that had been dead for hours down. The last 15 or so minutes you spent sitting at the ring toss booth, and very thankful for the protection from the beating sun on your face.

"YOOOOO (Y/N)!!!" You hear a familiar voice shout from your left. You put down your phone (obviously looking at memes) and lean over the counter just in time to see Amethyst, accompanied by Steven, jogging over to your booth.

"Oh, thank god. Finally some human interaction." You responded to the purple gem as they reached your booth. Steven smacked down some tickets for the game and grinned.

"Just spending some time away from the temple". He says, and you nodded as you handed him two stacks of rings. He joyfully pulled them towards himself as Amethyst snickered.

"He means to say his A/C broke, and Pearl got tired of hearing him groan about it so she kicked us out." The short gem elbowed Steven playfully.

“Us? Why’d she kick you out too?” You say, giving Amethyst a pointed look. “That’s because Amethyst brought up like 7 of the junk fridges from her room to try to create some sort of.. open fridge cold air whirlwind right in the middle of the living room. It didn’t work as intended at all, though. I’m pretty sure those fridges were really old, or something, because 3 of them caught on fire and now we have scorch marks all over the floor. Anyway, Pearl was pretty mad about it. Sooooo, now we’re here!” Steven says while laughing, and attempting to toss the rings onto the obviously not rigged bottles.

"So anyway," Amethyst turns to you and leans her elbow on the counter. "Any big plans for tonight?" She steals half the stack of rings from Steven and starts chucking them in the most violent way possible without actually breaking anything. She somehow gets 3 perfect.

“Ughhh, yeah actually. I sort of convinced myself I’d go out and drink tonight.” You say with a tired grin. “I’ve been kinda daydreaming about not being here all day, and I’ve been wanting to try that one place.. the uh.. piano bar. That new one.”

“Isn’t that the place Bismuth helped fix up, and now bartends at?” Steven says to Amethyst. “She said this place was 1930’s themed with a stage, a spotlight, a piano and everything! It sounds like fun and I want to go.. a lot of the gems from Little Homeworld hang out there. Bis says I’m too young.” “Yeah,” You say, “You’re what, 17? You’re still just a baby, dude. If you want, I can try convincing Bismuth to let you in sometime just to sing.” You say to him and wink. Amethyst bursts out laughing. “You can try!! Bis won’t even let Peridot in!” She laughs. “She says her maturity ain’t the right fit. Whatever that means. She lets Lapis work there sometimes though when she wants, and Peri is still mad about it.” You watch Steven miss every single shot. How can this kid be the person who saved the planet? His aim is terrible. Amethyst also misses the rest of her shots.

“Have you guys actually ever won anything here?” You say out loud. “Only when Amethyst cheats.” Steven says. “And anyway, I really want some food. Amethyst. Pizza?”

“Duuuuuuuude. I could eat at least 10 pizzas right now. PLEASE.” She slaps her hand down on your booth. “Y/N. Go out tonight. Have some fun for the both of us, because it’s my turn to clean the kitchen, and if I skip out again Pearl WILL make me do my own laundry.”

“Wooooow, jeez, it must be so terrible to be self-sustaining and clean your own shit,” You’re smiling while chiding her, “and yeah, I will. Maybe next time come with me?” “And leave me all alone!?” Steven whines while starting to walking away. “Go hang out with Connie, you turd. At least you HAVE a girlfriend!” You reply. “You’ll find one eventually Y/N!! Maybe tonight!!” He yells back while waving before they both disappear from your field of vision.

“I really fucking doubt that.” You say to yourself, alone.

You busy yourself cleaning up, and walk over to the main building to clock out. You check your phone, and it looks like the group chat pinged. It’s Harper. FINALLY. Harper has been MIA for the last week. Well, not missing, per se, but she’s been on a roadtrip with her girlfriend of 6 months and didn’t invite you..or your other best friend, Alex. And yeah, you would’ve had to decline because your dad needs you to pick up some slack while he’s out on business, but.. STILL. Shit kinda hurts. But it seems like she finally got service and remembered you guys exist. It’s actually just a selfie with her and her girlfriend with a mountain in the background. She captioned it “I wanted to dive right into mt st helens but she wouldn’t let me get close enough.” You grin and decide to reply with, “Maybe next time Leah won’t let you pussy out”. Honestly, you really didn't mind being the 'single' friend most of the time, but sometimes you wished you could finally meet someone. Then you could also be sending cute couple pictures to your idiot friends, and finally feel like maybe you’re worth someone’s time.

Alex just responds to the chat with 14 flame emojis in succession. Before you can send any knife emojis back, your phone lights up with a call from your father. You answer on the second ring.

“Hey dad. What’s up?” “HEY KIDDO!!” Jesus. Your dad is enthusiastic and as loud as ever. “HOW ARE YOU TODAY, my sweet, dear offspring?”

“I’m chill. Getting off work. You?” You smile to yourself while grabbing the rest of your things to leave for home.

“Just got out of like, my fifth meeting today. It’s awful. I think they’re trying to kill me over here? I’m pretty sure they only paid for the plane ticket because they’re going to reap my organs after they LITERALLY bore me to death. I’m 100% sure my presence isn’t even needed for any of this.” He rants into the phone.

“Dad. You’re the lead project planner. You have to be there. It’s like.. your entire job.” You laugh into the phone. “I thought my entire job was so sit there and look pretty?” “Really? You think they’d choose you for that when they have Brian? Dad, come on. You know how beautiful he is.” You hear your dad sigh wistfully. “Yeah, that gorgeous bastard. Anyway. I’m real sorry in advance, but they’re extending my stay for another couple of days, and instead of being back tomorrow, I’ll be back next thursday.” He says, sounding apologetic.

“Oh, okay. That sucks.” You try not to sound disappointed. “Kiddo I’m sorry! If I could come home tonight I would get on that plane in a heartbeat. I hate this as much as you do.”

“I know. And it’s alright. I’m going out tonight anyway, and I’ll hold down the fort until next week yeah?” “You know you’re my favorite kid, right?” He says. “Dad, I’m your only kid.” You scoff into the phone. “That YOU know of! Love you!” and he hangs up. You roll your eyes, stuff your phone into your pocket, and head out.

Your house wasn't very far from Funland, meaning you could walk home alone safely even at night. Not that Beach City was ever an unsafe town.. if you conveniently happen to forget the aliens trying to destroy the town several times.

Within minutes you were unlocking your front door, toeing off your work shoes, and heading up into your room. You drop all your shit onto the floor, and flop on your bed. You wonder to yourself, should you be putting more effort into your appearance tonight? Steven did say it was 1930’s themed.. you don’t have very many dressy clothes. You feel like the only color you look good in is black, so you get up and open up your closet. Flowery dress.. God no. Overalls? Noooooo. You swipe through too many sweaters, honestly. There’s a couple decent things in here to put an okay outfit together, or.. wait. Ha! There. That cute black dress you wore 2 years ago for your aunt’s funeral. It’s the best you’ve got, you admit to yourself. And you even still have those black flats! Look, like basically zero effort involved.

You head to the bathroom with your things for tonight and take a shower. It feels nice to scrub off the layer of sweat and grime that come specifically from working at Funland. Oh and, not having to smell like carpet deodorizer and stale caramel popcorn is always a plus. Once out of the shower, you dry off and get into your clothes. You style your hair in your favorite way, and just put on a small bit of makeup. You know, small efforts help to feel less like a paper bag. You look nice for once, you admit to yourself.

You head downstairs, stuffing your phone and wallet into a small shoulder purse. Grabbing your keys, you put your shoes on, say goodbye to your cat, and walk out the door, making sure to lock it behind you. With your keys safely stored in your bag, you headed into town. The bar was roughly ten to fifteen minutes away, so you decided to hoof it. No need to waste money on a taxi when you had two perfectly toned legs, ya’ll.

#Spinel #spinel x reader #Spinel SU #Steven Universe #spinel self insert #su fic #fic #my fic #devils ballroom

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hlupdate · 5 years

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Louis’ full interview for The Guardian - 25/09/19

After Louis Tomlinson’s recent show in Madrid, some fans got the chance to meet him. One girl wanted to talk to him about his song Two of Us , which he had written after the death of his mother. The girl had lost her dad, and wanted the singer to know how much his lyrics had meant to her. He’d never had that in his band One Direction, he says. “We wrote cool songs, but they were love songs. It only goes so far, and to have someone say that I could help them with my …” He pauses. “It blows my mind, that shit. I was proper proud.” It has been a hard few years. Tomlinson’s mother died in 2016, just as he was about to launch his first solo single. In March this year, his 18-year-old sister was found unconscious at her flat in London and couldn’t be revived. We will come to that, but, professionally, Tomlinson was struggling too. One Direction - that supernova of a boy band - broke up in 2015. Or announced they were taking a break. Or “‘hiatus’ or whatever word we use”, he says with a smile. At the time, Tomlinson, now 27, was finding his place as a songwriter. “I wasn’t singing a lot, I wasn’t the frontman. Without being a sorry little bastard, I thought: ‘How do I do better, how do I make something of myself, an identity?’” In the last 18 months of One Direction, he says, “I felt like I knew who I was in the band, and I felt a real worth for who I was.” The break up, he says, “rocked me. I wasn’t ready for it. I felt like I was getting to be a better songwriter, singer, a more confident performer, and all of a sudden, when I felt I was finally getting some momentum …” We meet at a bar in north London. Tomlinson greets me with a hug as if I am one of his fans (I am not, particularly, although I am by the end). He seems open but not vulnerable, and more self-aware and modest than you would expect from a man who was once part of the biggest boy band in the world. He is friendly and relaxed, dressed in a black tracksuit, with a beer in front of him. Tomlinson’s personal tragedies also meant his solo career has had a bit of a stop-start quality, but now it looks as if there is focus and momentum. He released his single Kill My Mind earlier this month; an album will follow next year. Kill My Mind is an indie-pop delight, not so huge a departure as to alienate his fanbase, but it sounds like the music he grew up listening to - Oasis and Arctic Monkeys - and his South Yorkshire accent brings more than a hint of Liam Gallagher-style northern vocals. He sounds confident on them, more so than on the previous singles he put out, a couple of fairly forgettable collaborations. “I think, in hindsight, that was me trying to find my place in the industry and making music I thought I had to make to get on radio. “I had this epiphany when I was thinking about the music I grew up with,” he continues. “I kind of had a bit of a word with myself and worked out what I want - to be happy and proud of what I’m doing. I love those early singles, but I never really felt proud of them, because it didn’t feel too true to me.” As a child, growing up in Doncaster with his mum Johannah, who raised him alone until she married Tomlinson’s stepfather, he loved performing. “I liked to be the class clown, I liked to make people laugh, to show off, all that.” When his younger twin sisters were cast on TV dramas, he would sometimes go along as their chaperone, earning £30. “Where I’m from, we don’t have anyone who’s been on TV or anything like that, so it was super-exciting,” he says. He ended up picking up work as an extra. “The pinnacle of my acting career was one line on an ITV drama. I don’t even know if they used my scene,” he says with a laugh. When he was 15, he joined a drama group in Barnsley, which his mum would take him to when she could afford it. “I think I was confused, thinking I wanted to act when actually what I wanted to do was perform.” At school he joined a band, where they sang Oasis and Green Day covers, and when The X Factor came up, he made it on to the show in 2010 on his third attempt. He queued from 3am to make sure the producers wouldn’t have audition fatigue before they saw him, and he got his goal - to get in front of Simon Cowell “and just have a professional opinion on how I am as a singer. I was so flustered. Going from school performances to performing in front of professionals, TV cameras, a 3,000-strong audience. I wasn’t present. I sang terribly. I remember coming away from it thinking: ‘I wonder if I’ve got through as one of those lads who looks all right but isn’t really a good singer.’”

One Direction in 2012 (from left): Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne and Harry Styles. Photograph: IBL/Rex Shutterstock Yet he ended up in One Direction, the band the show put together in its 2010 series. For six years they sold tens of millions of records, broke America and each made a rumoured £40m-plus fortune. Their fans, Directioners, are another level of devoted. I don’t know how he coped with the attention, or the pressure. There were really only a few times when it got too much, says Tomlinson. They were in Australia and a local news station had got a helicopter and a photographer was trying to get pictures of Tomlinson in his top-floor hotel room. “I think I was naked, or just in my boxers, and even in my hotel room there was no escape. I could feel the pressure.” He tweeted about it - “your standard bratty celebrity tweet” - and was attacked. “At times it did stress me out but never was I allowed to whinge, allowed to be a human and say: ‘Today has got too much for me.’ I found that difficult at first.” But he is keen not to sound as if he is complaining. “There was much more positive that outweighed that.” And he never blames the fans for their intensity. Theirs is a special relationship, he says. “So many people have bullshitted about what they feel about the fans, but they’re like family to me.” Even when Directioners have got a bit too ardent - there is a conspiracy theory, for example, that he and his bandmate Harry Styles have long been in a secret sexual relationship - he seems more bemused by it than annoyed. Although he is wary, he says, of adding “fuel to the fire” by talking about it. “I know, culturally, it’s interesting, but I’m just a bit tired of it,” he says. The HBO drama Euphoria recently showed an animated sequence of Tomlinson and Styles together, as imagined by a smutty fan-fiction writer. Was it annoying that a show had taken something fairly niche and given it new mainstream life? “Again, I get the cultural intention behind that. But I think …” He trails off, trying to work out what he wants to say. “It just felt a little bit … No, I’m not going to lie, I was pissed off. It annoyed me that a big company would get behind it.” Why does he think he never went off the rails during the band’s heady period? “My mates and my family, really. It’s from my upbringing and where I come from. If I went back to Doncaster and I was dripping in Gucci or whatever, I’d probably get whacked. I’m always very conscious of not acting too big for my boots. It’s the people around me who keep me sane and normal, because they give me insight into real life.” He lives with his girlfriend, Eleanor and his best friend, Oli. “Some celebrities, in pop in particular, only surround themselves with amazingness, and all they see is good, good, good, which is lovely, but you don’t understand the real world then. I have the luxury of my mates around me, just reminding me how fucking good I’ve got it, really.”

With his mother, Johannah, in 2015. Photograph: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images The day of One Direction’s final concert in November 2015, Tomlinson and his bandmate Niall Horan sat together “and had a little cry, because it was such a journey we had been on. That day in general was so poignant. As much as you try and prepare yourself, it’s a whole other thing when it comes.” Because they had worked so much with few days off, he assumed that a break would be exciting. “But it wasn’t like that. When you’re used to working however many days, it’s all that more evident when you’re not doing something. Especially in the first six months.” He spent time in Los Angeles with his son, who was born in 2016, after his relationship with a stylist, Briana Jungwirth. “My life became -and I don’t mean this to sound derogatory - very normal, from being a life of pure craziness.” At the same time that Tomlinson was trying to work out what to do with himself, his mother, to whom he was intensely close, had been diagnosed with leukaemia; she died in December 2016. He performed his first single on The X Factor just a few days after her death, then seemed to half-heartedly continue with his solo career, releasing another single in 2017. It would be another two years - during which he became a judge on The X Factor - before he released Two of Us, a raw and beautiful (and under-rated) song. “After I lost my mum, every song I wrote felt, not pathetic, but that it lacked true meaning to me,” he says. “I felt that, as a songwriter, I wasn’t going to move on until I’d written a song like that.” He knew he needed to get it out of him, but there was a lot of pressure - he felt he should be an experienced songwriter before he attempted it. Two songwriters he worked with played him the chorus. “It was like the song I always wished I’d written. I went in and put my personal touch to the verses. It was a real moment for me in my grief, and as part of the creative process, because it felt like it was hanging over me.” Earlier this month, an inquest found that his sister Félicité had died of an accidental overdose; she had been taking drugs, including anxiety medication, since the death of their mother. He has been through some terrible times, I say, which must put a perspective on a pop career. “Exactly,” he says, a little quieter than before. “That whole dark side I’ve gone through, it sounds stupid to say, but it gives me strength everywhere else in my life, because that’s the darkest shit that I’m going to have to deal with. So it makes everything else, not feel easier and not less important, but, in the grand scheme of things, you see things for what they are, I suppose.” His fans have been crucial, he says. “I’m sure every artist says this, but I do believe it. We’ve been through some dark times together and those things I’ve been through, they carry a weight, emotionally, on the fans as well. And I felt their love and support. I remember really clearly when I lost my mum, that support was mad.” What have the experiences of loss he has been through taught him about himself? He thinks for a second. “I keep going back to it, but I don’t know if it’s a combination of where I grew up and my mum’s influence, but I just have this luxury of being able to see the glass half-full no matter what.” He is the oldest of his mother’s seven children, which is grounding and means, he says, “there’s no time for me to be sat feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been to rock bottom and I feel like, whatever my career’s going to throw in front of me, it’s going to be nothing as big or as emotionally heavy as that. So, weirdly, I’ve turned something that’s really dark into something that empowers me, makes me stronger.” He gets up to go to the toilet, which I think is his polite way of asking me to move on, although when he gets back he says, by way of a final word on the matter, “I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. That’s not how I feel for myself. Somehow it fuels me.”

1D face the fans: the band’s last performance was in 2015. Photograph: Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar One Direction will get back together one day, he believes. He still speaks to the others. “We’re not texting each other every day, but what we do have, which will never go away, is this real brothership. We’ve had these experiences that no one else can relate to.” Styles has become quite the superstar. The others seem to have steady solo careers. Tomlinson says he’s embarrassed to admit that, when he first went solo, he would have been devastated had his album “only” reached No 3, so used is he to everything he did with One Direction going to the top. Is it hard not to measure himself against his former bandmates? “Oh, naturally,” he says. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I’ve never been competitive like that, but, naturally, you think: ‘If they’re getting this then I deserve that.’ I think, the longer time goes on, I can see it for what it is and just be proud of them.” And success means something else to him now. “It means I’m happy with what I’m doing.” Kill My Mind, by Louis Tomlinson, is out now on Arista. His debut album will be released in 2020

#tw death #tw drugs #stunt mention #louis tomlinson #250919

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prophetandprincess · 4 years

Text

Mass Effect #3

Can’t stop, won’t stop

“There you are,” Kaidan said as he walked into the gym as Nova was unwrapping her hands from another session with the punching bag. It was the third time this week and her knuckles were starting to bruise and the skin to chafe no matter how much she tapped them.

“Something you need, Alenko?” Nova looked up, trying to gauge if there was any worry or panic in his face. Usually the only time people sought her out was when there was a problem and recently the problems Nova was asked to solve were not run of the mill issues. Admiral Hackett had recently asked her to deal with a renegade probe holding a nuclear bomb because she happened to be in the area.

Next time someone offered her a promotion she was going to turn it down.

“I can’t just come and talk to you?” Kaidan asked as he sat down, laughing when Nova gave him a look. “Alright, so I was talking to Liara and she mentioned that she was a bit worried about you. Since you didn’t feel like talking to her, she thought I might have better luck.”

“So my crew is starting to gang up on me? Should I be worried about a mutiny next?” Nova wiped some of the sweat off her forehead. While she was a little annoyed they were gossiping about her behind her back, Nova was relieved that there didn’t seem to be any animosity between Liara and Kaidan after the earlier miscommunication about her intentions. They were both adults, after all, but sometimes that didn’t mean much when emotions and hormones were involved.

“I’m pretty sure you could take us all even if we were. Liara has a point though, you check in on every one of the crew after every mission and trip off the Normandy, yet no one does the same for you.” Kaidan leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees. “Now, I know that you are the Commanding Officer and have to always seem like you have it together, but there is no one here but us right now. So, Shepard, how are you doing?”

“Shepard? It must be serious if you’re being so informal,” Nova laughed before sighing. “Off the record, Kaidan, I really haven’t given myself time to think about anything all that much because if I did I would be overwhelmed. There is a clock ticking in the back of my head constantly, knowing that every second Saren is getting closer to the Conduit. Yet, I can’t ignore that there are people who need our help out here that have nothing to do with Reapers or renegade Spectres or Protean technology. I can’t just abandon them, even if it is for the good of the galaxy. There just aren’t enough hours in the day when there is always another mission that needs done or lead that needs followed up.”

“The responsibility and pressure that has been put on you would have cracked almost anyone else. I know I wouldn’t have been able to handle it and I’m the one that triggered that stupid beacon to begin with,” Kaidan gave her a sheepish smile when Nova rolled her eyes. “You’re human, Shepard. If you run yourself into the ground you won’t be able to help anyone. Lean on your crew, even if it is just to rant and scream about the unfairness of it all.”

“Lean on the crew, or lean on you, Kaidan?” Nova asked, her voice not holding as much of a joking tone she had meant it to have.

“I don’t have these broad shoulders just to fill out my uniform, ma’am,” Kaidan laughed before becoming serious again. “Shepard, you have my respect. There is nothing you could say that would change that. I’m here if you need me. For anything.”

Those last two words hung in the air between them, heavy with implied meaning. Nova and Kaidan stared at one another for a long moment, the air in the gym starting to become charged as the words continued to sit between them. It was hard for Nova to decide what to say to break the silence. They had agreed that nothing could happen between them, not while they were both serving on the Normandy. Yet, neither of them could deny their chemistry and Nova was getting really sick of denying herself the one thing in this whole mess that made her somewhat happy. The joys of being in charge.

“Right now,” Nova said, finally breaking the tension, “I guess an ear couldn’t hurt.”

“I have two working ones, so you’re in luck,” Kaidan smirked and waved for her to continue.

Nova opened her mouth, but she had no idea where to start. Did she go all the way back to the beginning of this whole mess? Did she tell him how terrified she was that even if she got to Saren in time, she wouldn’t be able to stop him? That everything to do with her visions and the Conduit scared the ever-loving-shit out of her? That wouldn’t exactly inspire confidence. Maybe it was better to speak about the most recent mission, all the emotions linked to that were well known and easy to store if needed.

“I keep thinking about The Blitz, about how I never even thought to figure out who was behind such a coordinated attack,” Nova shook her head. “Why didn’t the Alliance figure it out before I was sent in to diffuse a lost probe holding a damn nuclear bomb that just happened to be used for an ambush? How many more people has that bastard hurt and killed while I was getting promotions and accommodations. How many more attacks, like the one on Elysium or Mindoir, did he orchestrate?”

“That’s hard to say, with the geth disrupting everything, I’m sure the pirates are taking advantage of the chaos.” Kaidan shrugged, practical as always. “I can’t speak for the Alliance on why they didn’t look into who orchestrated the attack on Elysium, but what you did during The Blitz was nothing short of amazing, while on shore leave no less. As for Mindoir...that was something that no one saw coming.”

“Yes and I’ve got a Star of Terra for my trouble while on shore leave, but we still lost people. How could the Alliance just let that slide? What is the point of colonizing worlds if they don’t want to protect them? I mean, look at Feros. They let Exogen do whatever they wanted and sent us in when things got hairy. If we hadn’t shown up, the whole colony would have turned into slaves to that alien thing. All profit and no care for human life, which I fed into to try and save people,” Nova basically growled out the last sentence before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, this is old news and things you already know as a career man. You’ve been in longer than I have, Kaidan, sorry to sound so naive and innocent.”

“I may have been in longer and know how things work, but that doesn’t mean that someone shouldn’t say that sometimes it’s bullshit,” Kaidan pointed out. “We both know that while the Alliance has the best intentions, their hands are tied with red tape just as much as anyone else. It stops them from making serious mistakes, but it also stops them from being as efficient as they could be. There are also the pencil pushers who count every penny against every life that we could save and decide if it’s worth it.”

“And that’s how you end up with orphan children and humans so broken that they’d rather die than betray their masters,” Nova shook her head. “I know there is no good answer for it, Kaidan. I mean, the only reason I’m alive is that I ran into an Alliance patrol when Mindoir was attacked. If they weren’t there...well... I want to believe that the Alliance does good work and saves everyone they can, but there is just so much more that needs to be done. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

“We can only do the best we can, Shepard. If we have saved everyone we can and if we do it with integrity, then they can’t ask anything more from us.” Kaidan said as he looked down at his own hands. “It might feel like we’re in this alone, that the Alliance and Council has abandoned us, but we have each other and I think we’ve done some real good no matter what happens next. Don’t lose sight of the forest through the trees, Shepard.”

“I’m more worried that there is no end to the forest than I’ll forget about it,” Nova laughed, the conversation having gotten way too serious for her taste. “Thanks for the check in Kaidan. Tell Liara I’m not going to have a break down just yet, but I’ll keep her posted.”

“Aye aye ma’am.” Kaidan got to his feet and stretched. “And while I know you won’t take me up on it, the offer still stands?”

“Which offer?” Nova asked as she got up herself, busying herself with collecting her gear so as to not stare at Kaidan’s muscles on display.

When Nova looked up she saw that Kaidan was smirking at her in that infuriating way of his. “Goodnight, Ma’am.”

Nova resisted the urge to throw her towel at him as he left the gym, a bit of a swagger in his hips. She was not at all embarrassed to admit she watched those hips until Kaidan had completely disappeared.

#kaidan alenko #femshep x kaidan #mass effect #ficlet #My writing

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