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polarisbibliotheque · 10 months

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Writing Advice - Answering an Ask part 1

Hey everyone!! I recently got a super cute, beautiful and heartwarming ask requesting writing advices/how to beat writers block.

I wrote the answer on a doc and it has 3 pages, so I'm gonna be posting it in different parts - do forgive and AMAZING ANON WHO ASKED ME I HOPE YOU SEE THIS, IT'S PART OF YOUR ANSWER xD

Seriously, I've been sitting on this answer for a week now thinking how I'm gonna make it shorter >.<

So, without further ado, for the first part of the answer, I wanna tell a little bit about my writing journey - how I got from "not writing at all" to where I am now.

Because people think that you have a gift and words just flow like ambrosia in the cups of the gods - but I've actually started writing some pretty cringe stuff when I was 10 years old to get to a more poetic sort-of writing during my 29s currently.

THEREFORE, a little bit on how I got from cringy to still cringy but sometimes good writing ;)

I started by telling made-up stories to my sister when she couldn’t sleep and to my cousins during sleepovers because, I don’t know, they seemed to like my stupid little stories when I was 7 years old – or even younger. Sometimes I wrote some things, sometimes I didn't. But I was telling stories!

When I was 13, I discovered the magic world of fanfiction, and I wrote and published a HORRID thing on a fanfic website in my country, based on the band McFly that me and my sister adored back then (the gods have graced me with the power of deleting it and I thank immensely to that).

It was the first time I wrote AND published something to an audience outside of my friends/family.

After that, I kept on writing, and I moved to creating my own stories. When I was 14, I wrote a fanfic with the same band, but really the main theme was that I was an archeologist living in Egypt who researched on Atlantis and ended up finding the lost city. Somehow, I was allowed to climb the pyramids as well - because, you know, I ADORE Tomb Raider, and if Lara Croft could do it, so could I.

Told ya there would be some pretty cringy stuff in here, huh? xD

When I turned 15, I was bullied non-stop at school and so creating stories became my way to escape reality and have some fun with the people I wanted to meet in my life. I started carrying a notebook everywhere with me – it was my writing notebook. I had so many stories, and I never finished any of them (and good heavens, they are THE MOST cringy stuff, I’m glad they will NEVER see the light of day).

But I use the writing notebook thing to this day - whenever I'm travelling and internet isn't granted, I have somewhere to write.

I finished my FIRST novel when I was 16!! I was SO HAPPY about it!! It took me a year and a half writing it: a young adult book, kinda like Twilight (it was THE thing back then), with a secret society based on Arthurian Legend because I was a sucker for everything King Arthur (still am).

I can’t BEAR to read the first page of it nowadays, because c’mon. It was 15-year-old depressive me being bitter about everything and post-Twilight frenzy. The universe and worldbuilding has one HELL of a potential, but oh LORDS, it IS painful to read. I was a teen after all… But I finished a novel! If I haven’t done it, I wouldn’t be writing the way I’m writing today!

When I got into Law School, things got a little slow. I couldn't focus too much on writing and my social life improved a lot. I started tweaking my Arthurian story, but nothing too defined - I kept on writing lots of WIPs, though.

Around my 20’s, while I was close to graduating Law School, I started writing again… Supernatural fanfiction. With the SOLE PURPOSE of self-indulging, because I couldn’t find A SINGLE fanfiction that I could self-insert and love Dean Winchester while kicking some demon ass (sorry, I couldn’t resist the Nico inside me).

That led me to writing a 4-part Supernatural fanfiction that, honestly, for the next 6 years, it was the thing that made my heart soar while I was slaving away at a job I hated.

While I was overworking my ass off, I started writing (brace yourselves...) BTS fanfiction. I got into the band and some people from the website I wrote my Supernatural fanfic embraced me and kinda put me in the group and into the BTS world.

I was on the path of a burnout, so that became my escape - the girls from the website were so nice and we had many MANY writing projects of short stories. Throughout the years, I think I wrote around 25 or 30 stories, 40 pages max, to publish on this website and just have fun.

It started nice, but as time went by and I started moving out of the rom-com clichés (which are nice, don't get me wrong, we all love 'em) and became more existential and philosophic with a lot of metaphorical things while writing - and people stopped reading my work. I started to think I was bad, no one wanted to read because I lacked quality in my writing, or just my stories weren't so appealing as I thought. So I lost my will to write and slowly went back to my personal original stories.

When I hit 25 years old, I got fired and had a full burnout. I got really sick and my life literally stopped for the last 5 years - it has been hard, but that gave me time to sit back on my computer and recover ALL the books and stories I never finished writing.

I am NOT joking, I just counted all of them, and I have 65 DIFFERENT unfinished stories sitting on my Word folder right now on my computer. I also have a txt file I keep some “ideas that might be interesting to work on” and those have around 12 different full ideas of stories I might never write as well.

Upon hitting 27, I went back to writing niche fanfiction I didn't think anyone would want to read, so I published it here. I thought no one would want to read Devil May Cry fanfiction written by a woman who clearly worries more about the internal turmoil of characters rather than if what I'm writing is cute/rom-com like.

I opted for a more adult approach - given Dante and Vergil are adult men with lots of traumas, and I thought "hey, I don't have to write teenage things anymore, I can actually write how two adults would have difficult conversations and relationships in this fucked up world of ours" and that made a HUGE difference to my writing.

and once again thank the gods I found my people who like to read this sort of stuff :)

For quite a while, I was worried if what I was writing was consumable - you know, if the romance was that kind of tacky romantic thing to sweep you of your feet with perfect characters who don't exist, if people only have good times and are always laughing and having fun, if people enjoy touching each other 24/7 and being romantic and all that sugar coated stuff, if what I'm writing is politically correct, if it hasn't any subjects that are triggering or "wrong" in any sort of capacity... And that stiffed me. I lost my will to write and I stopped enjoying it, because I couldn't get my ideas out anymore.

Being quite honest, I'm not a person who had an easy, beautiful life. I had many things happen to me that made me understand Vergil on a soul level (and I think that's why I'm so comfortable writing him, as much as I hate that man), because I'm wary of people and my trust issues make me keep everyone at bay. I can only put my feelings safely out on my writing and my music, and I wasn't being able to.

So I tossed everything out of the window and started writing unhinged stuff. And oh, that made me feel SO good! I always smile a lot when re-reading my Cyberpunk-style story and a character called Abby tattoos on the ass of a corporate man that he is hers bitch, and when a "fallen angel" from my vampiric story smiles creepily and tells everyone she's got the most unhinged vampire on a leash and tells him to just kill everyone in the room for sheer revenge.

Not the best, politically correct stuff. Very wrong, by the way. But I had so much fun writing them, and it has so much character building behind these actions, it makes me feel nice :)

Out of all the 65 WIPs on my computer, I have around 5 that I think are really worth it for a full novel and so. They are:

My Arthurian Legend based novels. I outlined a series, I made character sheets, I planned and planned and planned... Since I'm 15, I've been thinking about it. Someday, who knows, this story will see the light of day.

My Cyberpunk-style novel. Halfway through it and every time I go "oh this is too heavy, I can't write this" I just toss the thought out of the window and go for it. Quite unhinged, very existential and grim, everyone is depressed and traumatized, but I love it :)

The Angel-Vampire stuff. Or, as I call it sometimes, the trip of an angel-like being going through the 7 deadly sins until finally falling for good, all aided by the most unhinged vampire in town. It's more like a villain origin story than anything else.

The Tea Shop thing. Oh, this one has been on my mind since 2018 and only now I've found some plot I like for it. Creation (yes, humanized form of creation) runs a tea shop and everything is fine until a woman enters and she has no Universe inside her eyes - and that is something to be afraid of. Doesn't make sense? Oh, yes, indeed. I'm going crazy with the concepts on this one, thanks to Neil Gaiman and The Sandman.

The rockstar guardian angel one. That's it. It's literally what the premise says: a woman has a dead rockstar as a guardian angel - and they couldn't be more opposite of each other. It doesn't help she's investigating his death and can talk to ghosts.

And my original vampire story, which I just call Nathan and Kathleen. I started this one when I was 16 or 17, so the writing is VERY cringy. I had just seen The Witcher 2 gameplay and, by then, I had never seen anything like it. As it's expected, I'm re-writing the 150 pages of unfinished work I already have.

Will this stop me from writing the other WIPs whenever I want to? Nah. I’ll keep on writing. Even if they are bad or horribly cringy.

Why am I blabbering about ALL this???

Because the most important stuff you can do is write.

You see, I didn't start out writing the way I do today - and I have so many stories, with so many pages, that I like so much, but I read it nowadays and I see I need to re-work them. And that's how you evolve! That's how you get better! By refining your abilities!

This is something I learned with the rockstars I love so much. None of them started out by playing perfectly - most of them had to sit down, listen and learn their instruments on their own. They got a LOT of things wrong to start getting something very simple right. And the more they play, the more they train, the more they refine, the better they become.

The same goes to writing - so, keep on writing! Everything you can, as much as you can, don’t feel bad about starting something new and never finishing another one, and don’t feel like you need to put out a masterpiece every time you sit to write.

Sometimes you just need to… Write.

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softly-potter · 1 year

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Still Friends | Chapter 7: Unlikely

Summary: After a chance encounter at a party, Wanda and Bucky find they have more in common than they realized.

This fic is heavily inspired by 'Friends' by my lovely friend Poppy. She is aware of this fic and I've been given permission for this marvel-version retelling! If you haven't read her dramione fic 'Friends', I HIGHLY suggest it. I fell in love with the story and couldn't help but wonder, what if it was Wanda and Bucky instead of Hermione and Draco? Thus "Still Friends" was born. Enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky X Wanda

Word Count: 33,068

Warning: smut, drug use, depression

Chapter 7: Unlikely

May 2nd, 2027

They opted to not go to Sam’s party this year. They both knew if they went, they’d just be awkward, nodding at the people they very, very loosely called friends.

They didn’t get other people; but they could bask in the loneliness together.

He knew it wasn’t healthy, the way they cooped with things. When she thought the windows were closed, he’d witnessed her sob in her car before coming into his apartment. There’s been many panic attacks during odd times that she hasn’t been there for, and he didn’t tell her about them.

The pain was too hot to touch, burning anytime it was given any recognition, so they ignored it.

The ache of remembering was breaking her. She would go through days were it took her hours to merely leave the bed. On those days, Bucky would stay with her, hold her hand or just hang nearby. Sometimes she’d drag him into the bed with her, and beg him to fuck the pain away.

He’d never told her no, but sometimes he was worried it was doing more harm them good, her burying her grief in sex. He did the same though, he really wasn’t the one to judge.

Bucky wished he could tell Rebecca about her. He knew his sister would like her, would give him grief for dating someone so extremely shorter than him, but she would have liked her all the same.

If you can call it dating.

He wondered if he needed to ask her out, to take that childish label and slap it on them. The thought was humorous. Wanda enjoyed watching black and white films, and she’d always point out the sappiest parts, noting how they lacked common sense or were just idiotic.

Opting not to, he realized they didn’t need a label.

They had each other, and that was more than enough. Far more than he deserved.

“Let's skip the party this year.”

She hadn’t given him a reason. Just suggested it as she removed her toast from the oven, and he’d agreed. She had smiled at him, the skin around her eyes bruised and her irises bleak, and he knew she needed the break. A break from pretending to be ok around their peers. He gets it.

The day of, Wanda doesn’t pick up her phone. He calls her when she doesn’t show up for lunch like they planned. He paces, worried, but trying to remain calm. She’s an adult for Christ's sake, she can do whatever she pleases. But when she shows up at his door at nearly 7pm, smelling of wine, he’s beyond pissed.

“Where have you been?” He’s seething, his jaw hard, but he’s so relieved to see her that he grabs her to him, flush against his chest, quickly before releasing her. She gives him a glazed look, then shoves passed, dropping her purse on the floor. “Did you drive drunk?”

She snorts, plopping on the couch. “Is my car parked outside genius?” He glances out his front window to find her car is indeed not outside.

“You walked?” He pitches the bridge of his nose. “It's fucking miles, Wanda. And the highway, you could’ve been hit.”

She laughs, her neck lolling to the side and she gives him an incredulous look. “I can take care of myself, dad.”

“Wanda,” he says, dropping beside her. She looks away. “You can’t just get piss drunk and think that’ll solve all your problems.”

“Oh and I should what? Work out until my bones break like you?” She rounds on him, eyes watery. “Or what, go on runs so long that my shoes start to fall off?”

He’s glad he was so worried about her safety; if he hadn’t been, her words might’ve stung.

“You’re no better than me, James.” She whispers, leaning back against the couch. “So stop acting like you are.”

He stares at her. Is that what she really thinks? That he believes himself to be better? The thought is so far from true it could be a joke.

“I just want to help you.” He tries, reaching for her hand. She lets him touch her skin before yanking back.

“You can’t help me.” She cries, and her eyes are tearing. “You’re not him, so stop acting like you are!”

He feels like he’s been stabbed. He’d been stabbed before of course, a few times. It hurt more in the stomach than it did in the arm. But it hurt worse when she was the knife-wielder.

“What we have is..is nice,” she hiccups, full-on crying now. “but you’re trying to act like my husband and you're not. My husbands dead. Thanos killed him, and then SWORD took him, and I can never see him again.” She’s shaking, her arms wrapped around herself and he just wants to hold her. “Do you have any idea what that does to a person?”

He’s silent, knowing his words cannot help, and lets her rant. “You look at me like I'm…redeemable. Like there’s something worth saving in here.” She bangs her fist on her chest. “but there isn’t. I’m empty, Buck. I’m fucking empty.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and her sobs pierce the empty air.

He wishes he could be angry at her, but the animosity towards her random disappearing act had evaporated the moment she started to cry. Reaching out, he grips her hand. She holds it to her, pressing his palm flat against her chest.

Regret is mixing on her features. He opens his mouth to comfort her, to say he understands and won’t hold it against her, even though the words might keep him awake at night.

“I’m sorry,” she wheezes, looking up at him. She’s even pretty when she cries, he doesn’t know how she manages it. “I’m fucking selfish. That was…uncalled for. I should never compare you to Vision.” Her voice is clearer now, stronger, and she’s gasping for sobriety. “You two are completely different individuals. My therapist used to say…it's hard to move on when the past is always on your mind.”

Bucky lets her speak, holds her hand while she tells him little things about her dead husband, and wonders if he’ll ever be able to live up to him. She breathes heavily, and her grip is tight on him.

He sits back, pulling her with him into his side, arm wrapped around her shoulders. She leans in, her legs tucked beneath her. A moment of silence descends on them, his thumb brushing her arm, head leaning against his chest.

Wanda shifts, her head craning to look at him. Tears are on her cheeks, and he wonders if his eyes look anything like hers, wet and rimmed with red. He leans to wipe her cheek, and she cups his face, doing the same. She presses a kiss lightly to his lips, no tongue, and leans her forehead against his.

Their noses brush, lashes closing as they find their peace.

#winterwitch #post winter solider #bucky barnes x wanda maximoff

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threeletterslife · 4 years

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[Finale] 02 | Ignis Fatuus

→ part 1 | part 2

→ summary: Who knew six grown men plus stupid Jeon Jungkook were so whiny? You're out here in a fucking zombie apocalypse for God's sake. They need to grow the fuck up. And while all of you are waiting for the zombies to eat your brains, why don't you play a nice game of rated-R never have I ever?

→ pairing/rating: jungkook x reader | NC-17

→ genre: 60% crack, 40% angst | apocalypse!au

→ warnings: profanity, depictions of blood, gore and death, sexual innuendos, crude humor

→ wordcount: 6.8k

cr.

You wake with your entire body feeling like it's blazing in a pit of fire. The moment you open your eyes, you wince, the harsh sunlight pouring through the window and chasing away every shadow in the room. It feels like you're in a dream. Everything is so hazy. Colored weirdly. But the excruciating pain in your body screams otherwise. This is reality.

Immediately, Jungkook rushes to your side.

"You're awake! Thank god," he cries. Gingerly, he takes your hands in his and squeezes. "We're all going to get you to the hospital."

You're not in the state to argue, barely even being able to lift your head to nod at his words. If you were in the right state, you would've pointed out the obvious logical flaw in the plan. Risk seven lives for one? Really? But then again, you're in no place to argue. Coherent thoughts are rare now. You can barely remember the date or the month or the year. It all seems like such useless information when you think you're spiraling down to death.

"We need to get her out of bed," Yoongi says, crossing his arm as he leans against the door frame. He glances at you worriedly before biting the inside of his cheek. "And we should leave now so we don't arrive there at night."

The others peek in behind Yoongi, giving you concerned looks while clutching makeshift weapons, which were really dense household objects.

"Here, I'll piggyback her," Jungkook says. "You good with that?" he whispers to you to confirm.

With a delirious smile, you mumble your answer.

Jungkook returns a meek smile before helping you out of bed and hoisting you on his back. "Comfortable?" he grunts as he shifts his hold on your legs

"Mmm," you manage to hum. You're starting to feel tired again, head limp to the side as your eyelids threaten to flutter shut.

"That's it... try to sleep," Seokjin says, reaching over to pat your back. With his other hand, he grasps his favorite fry pan (his choice of weapon) that had gotten sweaty around the handle already.

"Shouldn't we try to keep her awake?" Hoseok counters.

"Too late now," Jimin points out.

You've fallen asleep again. Though it's not a very deep sleep, it helps you forget the overwhelming pain for just a few minutes more.

"I-I don't know," Namjoon says. He nervously carries Jungkook's baseball bat, awkwardly holding it out in front of him—as if he were carrying a repulsive slug and not wielding a weapon. "I don't know if we should let her sleep or keep her awake."

"But you're the only one with enough medical knowledge to determine that!" Taehyung sighs.

"Sometimes, it's just common sense," Namjoon snaps rather crossly. "But even that can't save us now."

The men look helplessly at you sleeping on Jungkook's back.

"We need to stop wasting time," Hoseok finally sighs after the long silence. "We'll be fine, all right. We'll do exactly as planned."

"Wait, we had a plan??" Taehyung asks incredulously.

"Oh, god."

The walk is arduous. The dirt road is much better to travel by vehicle; otherwise, the dust flies up and around everywhere and gets in everyone's shoes and lungs. The group hasn't even reached the city yet, but everyone's irritated already.

You're dipping in and out of consciousness, sometimes being awoken when Jungkook takes a heavier step or when a shock of pain travels across your body. Every time you wake, you wish you'd never opened your eyes.

Your friends are always silent, their eyes trailed straight in front of them. Yoongi occasionally looks at the GPS on his phone, but other than that, the mood is solemn. Too solemn.

Jungkook trails behind the group, obviously being slowed down by the extra weight he's carrying on his back. No one mentions his lagging pace.

But once you catch a weary glimpse of the towering buildings starting to come into perspective, you realize the group is starting to head into the city.

"We need to be very careful," Hoseok warns. "I don't see any of those freaks right now, but—"

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, DUDE?" Jimin shrieks in a high-pitched scream. "THERE'S LIKE TWENTY OF THEM RIGHT THERE!"

The moment he points, a cluster of the brain-dead monsters all turn their heads around to stare at the eight of you. They begin to limp towards the group.

"Great," Seokjin rolls his eyes. "If they didn't know we were here before, they know now."

"No time for sarcasm," Jungkook grunts, adjusting your legs so you don't slide off of his back. "We need to get the hell away!"

"And stay quiet!" Taehyung puts his finger to his lips, staring down Jimin, who's shivering in fear already.

"Okay, okay!"

And everyone sprints off.

The zombies groan in vast numbers, dragging their decaying bodies toward you in hopes of sinking their rotting teeth into your flesh. The team uses the buildings and the shadows to its advantage, dodging in and out of the light to confuse the dull monsters. But staying inside for months without much moving had obliterated everyone's stamina.

Jungkook's sweating so much that you're starting to slide off of his back, slowing him down. The others are panting, out of breath and struggling to continue running for their lives.

"W-We," Namjoon gasps, "h-have to s-stop!"

"A-And what?" Yoongi wheezes. "D-DIE??"

Namjoon lets out a disgruntled noise, but Taehyung interrupts his next words, whispers urgently, "There! We can hide there!"

Sure enough, there's a dark corner that Taehyung's pointing to that looks relatively safe. Everyone quickly looks at each other, gauging expressions, silently calculating the possibility of what had the higher possibility of survival—running or hiding. And with everyone physically exhausted—Jungkook especially struggling—the latter is deemed as the smarter choice. Quickly, the eight of you file into the dark corner, Taehyung leading the way.

The moment the group is out of sight from the zombies, Jungkook lets you slide off of his back. He collapses on the group, panting quietly and letting you lean against his arm. The others stand absolutely still, wiping sweat off their brows but not daring to move their feet.

Ten minutes later, the hoard of zombies begins to limp near the dark corner in which you're hiding. It seems like they'll pass by, too dumb to comprehend where their meals had gone. They don't exactly have the brain capacity to suspect that the humans had, indeed, outsmarted them and had hidden away.

"Just look at 'em, those idiots," Taehyung mutters underneath his breath.

"S-Shut up, Tae." Jimin shakes in fear, biting at his nails. The poor man looks just about ready to cry. "Don't say that. Don't even talk. Just don't, dude."

There's a reason why Jimin never stepped out of the house again after the initial outbreak. He's visibly terrified. And even so, he can't tear his eyes away from watching those monsters, slowly but surely making their way past the dark corner.

"Just a few more steps..." Jungkook whispers to you.

You don't know what he means.

"Just a few more steps and we'll be safe..." he says. "Just a few more—"

"Will you shush??" Jimin shrieks.

The moment he raises his voice, the color drains from his cheeks. Big mistake.

The last few zombies who had been trailing near the back of the hoard pause. They look around. Then, they start to limp towards the dark corner.

Everyone scrambles up, hearts beating wildly in your chests. Jungkook tries to help you on his back again, but when his knees almost give out, Seokjin has to volunteer to carry you instead, much to Jungkook's protests. But with a silent look from Seokjin, Jungkook begrudgingly takes the frying pan from the older man and lets you go.

"Fuck, Jimin, you really had to be that loud?" Jungkook sighs.

Jimin's absolutely frozen, eyes looking back and forth between the group and the zombies that are starting to limp towards them to investigate the signs of life. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he stutters, gripping his t-shirt and shaking his head in disbelief.

Taehyung sighs. "It's okay. We'll just need to run before they get closer," Taehyung quickly says. "Everyone on my count of three, okay?"

No one dares to speak another work, all opting to nod instead.

"One... two..." Taehyung says. He pauses and swallows before whispering: "Three."

And then he's off, running. The zombies roar in surprise. But Taehyung's too fast for them, the other members of the group right behind him and dodging the zombie's grasping mutilated hands. All except—

"Jimin!" Namjoon gasps quietly. "Wait, I swear, he was right behind me but—"

But there's barely time to stop. Seokjin stumbles when Jimin's pleading shrieks and screams echo throughout the dilapidated city. He quickly regains his balance, gripping your legs tighter before sprinting even faster to catch up to Taehyung. Hoseok's covering his ears, while tears stream down Namjoon's face. Jungkook is biting his lip so hard, he's drawing blood. Yoongi's pale as a ghost. Even Taehyung looks shaken, brows furrowing. But he grits his teeth and continues running.

There's no time to mourn, to time to stop. Everything is a blur.

Minutes of running full speed. Minutes of silent tears. Minutes after Jimin's death.

Finally, the group slows down to a normal walking pace when Taehyung points out that the zombies aren't chasing after them anymore.

By this time, you're silently crying—because you're in physical pain or because of Jimin's death—you're not really sure. Jungkook walks by Seokjin, stealing a couple of worried glances at you. But everyone is worried at this state.

"No more wrong moves," Hoseok mumbles. "No more freezing. No more yelling. No more of anything drastic. I don't want to lose another person."

Everyone nods in agreement. And the walk in silence commences.

"Four more hours," Yoongi says. "Just four more left."

It does little to uplift the plummeting spirits.

When the road turns twisty, Taehyung orders everyone to line up behind him, single-file. He'll check to see if the coast is clear. Cautiously, he checks around the bend to see any threats, but turn after turn, there's nothing waiting for the group. After a while, Taehyung gets more and more careless, walking straight around the curve without even checking if the coast was clear beforehand. The rest of the group starts to relax a bit more. It doesn't quite look like there are zombies around in this area of the city.

You're getting more and more delirious by the second, barely able to see what's ahead of you. You've already mistaken Seokjin for Jungkook twice, and Jungkook still doesn't quite know if you fully comprehend that Jimin.... that Jimin's gone.

Namjoons fiddles with the baseball bat and Hoseok just fidgets nervously—never feeling safe out in the open like this.

And the next time Taehyung turns a corner without looking, a zombie jumps out at him. "Oh shit!" he yells. The two of them tumble to the ground, Taehyung wrestling for his life and screaming out vulgar profanities. The rest of the group freezes—still behind the safety of the wall and not yet visible to whatever monsters that were around the corner.

"Go!" Taehyung screams. "There's more coming to get me!"

Not for one second does he look genuinely scared. But everyone else is.

"Go!" Taehyung yells again when he sees the members hesitate, shell-shocked and pained. "I'm serious! I'll be okay!"

He won't be. Not with all the other zombies coming for his neck. But the others aren't left with a choice—it's either run and leave Tae behind... or everyone dies.

Jungkook doesn't have to say it out loud, but his wide eyes shaped with pain, sorrow and regret speak volumes. Taehyung answers him with a wild grin. Everyone else isn't able to meet his eyes as he fights for the last few minutes of his life. And the group runs away again, forced to abandon yet another member.

None of them stops running. It's like an endless workout—except, when you stop, you don't risk getting less of a calorie burn, you risk death. It's tortuous, really. Especially when you realize that you're a burden. Seokjin has to stop running for a few seconds to take in big gulps of air. He looks almost too tired to move on. Unable to fathom another member giving in to death, Hoseok commands Seokjin: "Hey, I'll carry her."

Hoseok's grip on you is strong but unsure at the same time. He's scared that he'll make you feel uncomfortable (more uncomfortable than you already are, given the wrecked circumstances), and consequently, he's making himself feel worried sick too.

The running presumes.

Everyone is too afraid to stop.

Jungkook gives you worried glances from time to time, but he doesn't offer to take you back. Probably because he can't risk it.

Morale is low, but at least the pain tolerance is high. Everything is a hazy blur to you; it's hard to make up your emotions and comprehend your own feelings through the dull pain. Everyone else is too high on adrenaline to digest the happenings. But you wonder when the pain will finally hit.

It feels like a fever dream. That's what it is. Unspeakable tragedies unfolding before you in rapid succession, leaving you no time to react. So you stay limp.

Finally, after who knows how long, Yoongi orders everyone to stop running. The six of you find refuge in another dark corner that comes right before a wider street.

"Three..." Yoongi pants. "T-Three more... h-hours," he manages to say in between hard breaths. Sweat drips from his hair to his forehead but that's obviously the least of his worries now.

"We're going to have to be more careful," Hoseok says, shifting you on his back but never letting you go.

"Well, what do you think we've been trying to do this whole time??" Namjoon says in an irritated voice. The stress, the pressure, the situation is finally getting to him.

"We can't fight now, Joon," Hoseok answers, shaking his head.

It takes a crisis to get to know one; Hoseok's somehow matured since the last life-and-death disaster.

"You're right. You're right, Hoseok," Namjoon sighs, running his hands through his wet hair. "I'm sorry... I'm just—"

"It's all right," Seokjin says, patting his friend's back. "It's okay. We'll get through."

Jungkook nods. "It's only three more hours."

"There's a wide street just around the corner," Yoongi says. "I don't know if it's gonna work to our advantage, though. Wide streets are theoretically safer than narrow streets... But we're going to feel more out in the open."

"At this point, we can only hope that everything's going to our advantage," Namjoon says. "May I look at the map?" Yoongi hands Namjoon his phone wordlessly. Namjoon studies the map as he always tends to study his binder of med school notes. "I see..." he mumbles to himself. His hands fumble around the small Nokia device, fingers sweaty and shaking as he zooms in and out of the map.

"Sorry to say, but studying the map's not going to increase our survival chances," Jungkook sighs. "I think we should keep on going. That's what we've been doing, right? We just have to keep on going."

"Right..." Namjoon sighs. "Sorry—you're right. Sorr—"

Just as he's about to hand Yoongi his device back, the phone slips from his hand. In slow-motion, everyone watches in horror as the phone plummets to the ground. It makes a loud, echoing clatter when it finally hits the cement.

Immediately, Jungkook acts. "We gotta get in that building!" He points to one near the dark corner. "If any zombies were nearby—"

It doesn't become an if when the horrifying groans of the zombies begin to grow near.

Hoseok's shaking; consequently, so are you.

"How will we know that the building's safe inside??" Yoongi says. He doesn't mean to be rude or to burst anyone's bubble, but it's a chilling possibility that the building isn't safe at all.

"We won't," Seokjin quickly says. "But I'd rather take a chance." He bends down and picks up Yoongi's seemingly unbreakable phone and begins to run towards the building with everyone else at his heels.

By now, the zombies are visible to the six of you, which means they can see you as well. There are about fifteen of them (give or take five), and they grow louder and louder when they realize they're going to have a rich feast. The excitement makes them quick. Before you know it, they're hot on your tracks.

Jungkook's the first one to reach the door to the building. Carefully, he tugs on the door handle. Nothing. It won't even budge. Sweat begins to accumulate on his neck as a form of slow panic.

"Fuck! It won't open!" he hisses.

Seokjin shoves him to the side. He tries to open the door. "Damn, it's wedged shut!"

"What do we do?" Namjoon says, his voice shaky. He keeps glancing back at the zombies starting to close in on the group. "Shit, what do we do??"

"Oh, move aside!" Yoongi shrieks. He grabs the door handle with two hands, places a foothold on the wall next to the door and pulls. The door pops open. A wave of relief passes through his face. "Hurry!"

The zombies are closing in quickly. They're almost an arm's reach away.

Hoseok falls into the building first, carrying you to safety. Yoongi's next and then Seokjin, who clutches onto Yoongi's phone as if it's his lifeline (and not his frying pan). Jungkook manages to wack a few zombies away with the frying pan, but when one almost grabs his leg, he throws away his efforts and leaps into the building. Namjoon isn't so lucky. He's the last one trying to get in, but a monster grabs his arm, making him drop the baseball bat. Another grabs his leg. They begin to grasp onto his limbs with their withered, decaying hands. Namjoon tries to scream, but he must have remembered that the zombies are sound sensitive. The louder he is, the more he'll be ripped apart to pieces to share. But the tears brim around his eyes when he realizes he won't ever make it. There are too many to fight off... He looks away.

Hoseok's the one who has to close the door on him.

The next minutes that follow (that feel like hours) are the worst. Everyone can hear the tearing of flesh, the disastrous chomping of organs... It becomes too much. Everyone blocks their ears. Except you. You're forced to sit through it. Unable to react and too pained to really feel anything. The zombies try to hit their heads against the door, but they're too stupid to actually open it. And as quickly as they had come, they leave, figuring that one human out of what had originally been six was enough for now.

Again, the group is devastated. But everyone's too tired to cry.

Hoseok had let you down from his back and you're wearing Jungkook's sweater, but you're still whimpering, though you had no idea that sound was you in the beginning. You shiver when the others are sweating and red in the face. You can barely see ahead of you either.

"She's getting worse," Jungkook says, biting his lip.

"Great. Just great," Hoseok sighs. "No one here knows anything about medicine now."

"...Well, there's always Google," Yoongi says, looking unsure himself. "I mean, if the hospital has a good connection..." He trails off, unable to finish his sentence. "Anyways, I don't hear the zombies anymore. I think we should leave. I'll carry Y/N this time."

"We still have three more hours left," Seokjin says. "Yoongi's right. We should go before it gets too dark."

No one can argue with that.

Maybe the bad luck had run out—after killing off nearly half of the group, misfortune takes pity on the rest of you. Or maybe the ones who were left were careful enough; they've learned from the others' mistakes. Nothing particularly noteworthy happens from the journey out of the building to the hospital. It's a silent journey too. One where there's more silent communicating (with eyes and gestures) than words.

Your cheeks are wet from the sweat on Yoongi's neck, but they look more like the remnants of the tears that had never fallen from your eyes.

Three hours becomes two. Then one... And soon, zero.

The five of you stand in front of the hospital, a bit off to the side to observe the surroundings before even thinking of coming close.

Yoongi curses under his breath after he observes the scene. "There's no way we'll get in there unscathed."

He's right. There are zombies limping about the vicinity—all in medical scrubs and patient gowns. There's something coldly chilling about that sight. It doesn't settle right within anyone.

You're starting to slip past Yoongi's grip and he grunts quietly as he hoists you up again. "Any ideas?" he sighs.

"Yeah," Jungkook answers. "First off, I'll take Y/N." There's a silent switch before you're back on Jungkook's back again. "Second... um, no, I don't have any ideas."

"Just great," Hoseok sighs. "We came all the way here and..." he trails off, afraid to finish what he had started.

"What are we going to do?" Seokjin says. He looks between the group and the hoard of zombies. "We can't just... go back."

"That'd be even crazier," Yoongi scoffs. He wipes the sweat from his neck and pockets his phone. "We lost three friends today to come this far. Do you want to lose three more of us to get back?"

No one answers.

"We have to remain positive," Jungkook says. He bites his lip again, the skin beginning to tear as a result of his constant state of anxiousness. "For Y/N, at least."

"It's never going to work," Hoseok says bluntly.

Seokjin frowns. "Staying positive?"

"No, no," Hoseok sighs. "I mean, we're never going to be able to get inside the hospital... Unless... Well, unless..."

"Unless?" Yoongi questions, raising his eyebrows.

"Unless..." Hoseok is slow, thinking through and through before he speaks. "Unless I distract them," he finally concludes. "You guys can go in while I lead them the other way."

"No..." Jungkook breathes. "You can't do that."

"Hoseok..." Yoongi shakes his head.

"Buddy, it's not time to be a hero now," Seokjin adds to the looks of disapproval.

You have no idea what's going on—too far gone to tell, but the tone of their voices is enough for you to know that the group is sad. The sadness weighs you down too.

"It was nice knowing you guys, really," Hoseok says. He shrugs, but his hands shake in fear. Quickly, he hides them behind his back so no one sees. "But I think it's time that I did some of the dirty work around here."

No one's quick enough to stop him. Before anyone else can react, he runs. He runs toward the crowd of monsters. Immediately, Hoseok captures their attention, and they groan as they begin to follow him away.

The group waits, horrified, scared, worried.

Hoseok never looks back.

And soon, he disappears. Along with the zombies.

There isn't time to waste. Everyone runs toward the hospital, sure that there were no zombies around now. And once inside, you all collapse, nearly on top of each other too.

"Selfless bastard," Yoongi wheezes, tears running down his face.

"If Namjoon were alive, he would've said that was such an oxymoron," Jungkook scoffs, wiping his wet eyes with the back of his hand. "Always the intelligent fool."

"And then Jimin and Taehyung would've told him to shut up," Seokjin says, crying silently. "God, it's all too much to take in..."

Jungkook looks to you, wiping the sweat from your forehead with his sleeve. "It's okay... We're here... We're finally here. Everything went wrong, but we're here now. We're here..."

But it didn't matter whether the group 'was here' when no one knew what to do.

"We don't even know if it's safe to roam around about like this..." Seokjin says. He sighs deeply, looking between you and the empty, blood-splattered halls of the hospital.

"Here," Jungkook whispers, trying to lift the mood. He hands Seokjin his frying pan, to which Seokjin politely declines, shaking his head.

"You wield it better as a weapon than I ever could," he says, giving Jungkook a small smile. "Besides, Y/N's counting on you to help her."

You never ever wanted to become a burden like this.

Jungkook nods silently, taking the frying pan back in his hands and gripping it tightly.

"I-I.... haven't exactly been in a hospital in a while," Yoongi says. "And I especially have no idea how to treat a TSS patient..." He looks at you and bites the inside of his cheek in deep contemplation. "You know what? We'll take our chances. We'll go into a random room, find refuge—again—and look some stuff up... Maybe we'll... manage to get antibiotics? I don't know."

It's not exactly a solid plan, but it's better than staying collapsed on the floor and waiting for disaster to strike once more.

Yoongi stands up, brushing off his pants and stretching his back. "We'll go in that room." He points.

Jungkook helps you on his back again. He trails behind Yoongi and Seokjin, gripping the frying pan and looking from side to side for any threats. He sees none, thankfully.

"We'll go inside first," Seokjin says.

"Just in case...?" Jungkook says.

"Just in case," Yoongi answers.

"You sure you don't want your frying pan back?" Jungkook asks the talented chef one last time.

Seokjin shakes his head. "You might need it more than I do."

There are a million different arguments Jungkook can make, but he stays silent.

"Ready?" Yoongi whispers to Seokjin.

"R-Ready," he replies. They give each other a small smile before they turn the knob of the door.

Jungkook holds his breath when they step in. For seconds, it's silent, and it's peaceful. Jungkook closes his eyes in sheer happiness. Safety. It feels so attainable now.

Yoongi and Seokjin look around the room, small smiles spreading across their faces. Yoongi turns around. "Hey, I think it's saf—"

A zombie leaps out and gashes his neck before he can finish.

Jungkook screams silently, mouth wide open in horror.

The monsters had been hiding. Two more of them leap out, attacking Yoongi and Seokjin with decaying teeth and mangled limbs.

Jungkook begins to step away, still aware that the door was wide open. But he can't move any closer to shut it. Not with you on his back. It's too risky. Tears prickle his eyes.

Yoongi's the first one down. He stops moving and becomes a lump on the floor. Seokjin turns to face Jungkook, eyes wet and face bleeding. Before he falls dead to the ground, he manages to close the open door. Red blood splatters subsequently on the window. Like it was straight out of a horror film. The zombies in the room don't suspect another two beings outside in the hospital halls and they immediately quiet down.

The world spins for Jungkook.

Oh my god.

He can't stop repeating it in his head.

Oh my god. No other words. He couldn't express the pure trepidation and guilt in words anyway.

He doesn't even know if you're still conscious. He almost breaks down right then and there. The tears have blurred his vision significantly, and he can't even hear anything except the incessant ringing in his ears.

I'm... I'm the only one left.

The thought sends chills down Jungkook's spine.

But he's reminded of what he's here to do when you begin to stir lightly on his back.

God. You're still alive. And as long as he's alive, you're going to live. Jungkook squeezes your leg in reassurance (more to reassure himself than you, really) and grits his teeth. He's going to do this. He's going to get you to safety. He's going to stay strong.

He looks at the frying pan in his hands. Seokjin's frying pan.

He fights back the tears. He can't think of the others now. He needs to focus. He's going to do this.

He runs.

Silently.

Quickly.

His heels never touch the ground. Light on his feet, blending into the wind, Jungkook runs. He doesn't exactly know where—he wishes things will work out in the end. And he wishes you were conscious enough to form a plan. He always admired how you could craft one in a crisis. But now you're basically gone, unable to communicate with him. He's on his own.

Jungkook comes across a large cabinet with a lock on it. Possibly a medicine cabinet. Why else would it be locked?

Keeping you on his back, Jungkook fumbles with the lock, trying to figure out how to get it open. He comes up with an idea in two seconds. Maybe panic does help the gears in his brain. He slams the frying pan against the lock so hard that the shatter of it echoes throughout the hospital.

Fuck.

Of course that would've been loud. But no matter now. The lock had broken. Now he has to take whatever looks helpful and run.

He flings the cabinet doors open, hoisting you up on his back again because you'd started to slip off. He grips the frying pan with one hand and begins to shove pills bottles into his pockets. He would've gotten away with more when he hears a sickening groan.

Jungkook whirls around, immediately shielding you away from the danger. You whimper just a little bit. He wants to comfort you; he wants to hug you. But he can't.

It's a zombie.

Its eyes are empty, but Jungkook can tell it only wants one thing: death. It bids death on Jungkook and you. But Jungkook won't allow it.

The monster's sickeningly close to him, and it's trying to back Jungkook into the corner that the medicine cabinet is in. He'll be stuck if the monster takes another step closer. He reacts immediately, flinging the frying pan in the zombie's face. It lets out a deafening shriek—one that sends chills all over Jungkook's body. But he can't freeze. Not now.

With agile speed and what's left of his grace, Jungkook leaps over the zombie writhing on the floor. He feels sharp pain somewhere—he can't discern where. But it doesn't matter. He's too fixated on getting you to safety. Without anymore thinking, he runs.

He runs and runs and runs. Away from the zombie, away from the problems, away from all the deaths of his friends today. He runs away with you.

When he thinks he can't go any further, he slams himself into a room, hoping, wishing that there was nothing inside. His misfortune had run out. The room is empty, safe.

Nearly crying tears of joy, Jungkook lets you down carefully on the hospital bed and dumps the pill bottles out of his pocket and sets them next to you. Then just for a few seconds, he cries.

He cries out of relief, out of genuine sadness, out of fear, out of an overwhelming sense of gladness. He cries even harder when you slowly but surely move your warm hand to encompass his.

That's when he notices the blood.

That's when he notices he'd been bitten. It had bitten him. That had been the searing pain that he had felt earlier. Jungkook backs away from you, disgusted and horrified with himself.

The thoughts follow in chronological order.

He'll drop dead soon—he doesn't know when, but he does know he can't in front of you.

When he wakes, he'll be undead.

Then... then... he'll try to attack you—if... if you're still alive by then.

He can't allow it.

Jungkook knows he has to leave.

But... He looks at you. You're dipping in and out of consciousness.

"I have to go, Y/N..." He can't recognize his own voice. It's too shaky, too unsure and laced with too much anxiety to be his own.

You stir, eyes fluttering open. You plead silently for him to stay.

"I-I... I can't, Y/N. I want to but I can't."

"P-Please..." you whisper so quietly that Jungkook barely hears you.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook shakes his head, wiping the last of his tears with his unbitten hand. He hides the other away from view. "I can't stay with you, Y/N," he says more surely. "I have to leave."

Then, you say the most coherent thing you've spoken all day. "St-Stay with m-me... I-I'm... I'll d-die... anyway."

Carefully, Jungkook steps closer to you. So close your foreheads touch. He hugs you. And the action is interlaced with so much love, so much care and consideration that you can't protest when he begins to step away. It's too soon.

You wish you could've been in his arms for longer. You wish you could die in his arms.

But Jungkook knows... He knows that once you're in his arms for too long, he'll never be able to find the strength to let you go. And that'd be a disaster for everybody.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again.

You don't want him to leave.

But Jungkook doesn't want you to see him turned. He doesn't want to be the one who turns you too. He can't stand being in the same room as you, knowing that he's become a threat. He has to leave.

It makes sense.

Both of you are going to die anyway.

You reach for him, but his back is turned to you. And without another look, Jungkook bites his lip before walking out of the room. He shuts the door behind him and begins to weep against it, sliding down to the floor in a weak, defeated lump.

"J-Jungkook—"

You reach for him again, tumbling out of the bed as a result. The bottles of pills clatter to the floor. You don't care. You drag yourself against the door with the last of your strength. The world spins with you. And you feel so weak...

Jungkook rests his head against the door. His hand begins to throb with excruciating pain. He doesn't want to wake up... He feels too weak to finish the thought.

You cry against the door, tears running down your face. Your hands try to reach the door handle, to open it, to reach Jungkook, but it physically hurts to do so. Everything hurts. The world is on fire.

Jungkook's world is just the same.

An uncomfortable flame is eating him from the inside. He wants the pain to end. He wants everything to end.

And it does.

Finally, finally, his wishes come true. He falls dead, head lolling to the side.

And you're long gone as well.

✽

You gasp awake.

You've awakened in hell.

Well, not exactly.

Your whole body feels as if it's on fire, but you're not in the hospital. You're not dirty nor are you bloody. You're in Yoongi's room, in bed.

But now the covers are on the ground because you'd had a fit in your dreams.

A dream.

A fucking fever dream.

That's what it had been.

Well, a nightmare, really.

A painful foreshadowing, maybe.

A vivid recollection of your worst fear.

Your head spins, and you fight the urge to throw up.

Outside the confines of Yoongi's room, you can hear the other men getting ready to leave. Your heart drops.

No.

You're not going to let them leave with you.

You refuse to become a burden, to become some sort of torch they pass along with great care, sacrificing their lives to keep you safe.

They'll all die because of you.

And you can't allow that.

Maybe if you run away—

Maybe they'll forget about you and no one will get hurt because of you.

You try to move, try to lift yourself on your feet, but it turns out to be a big mistake. You stumble, unable to balance yourself, and you fall off the bed, hitting the ground.

The thump! is loud enough for Jungkook and Namjoon to rush into the room.

"No! No! Go away! No!" you're shrieking, squeezing your eyes shut and gluing yourself to the floor, refusing to move.

They're taken aback.

"Y/N, Y/N..." Jungkook soothes you, dropping to his knees and trying to help you up to the bed again. After struggling for a bit, you let him carry you—when it becomes clear that he's not going to force you out of the room.

"You'll be fine," Jungkook whispers. He strokes your hair, holding your hands with tears brimming in his eyes. It reminds you too much of your dream. You want to look away, but you can't. "Y-You'll... Y/N, you'll be fine."

Jungkook and Namjoon exchange knowing, painful looks. Even in your barely conscious state, you suddenly understand.

You realize then that you'll die here. And the others have accepted it.

It hurts to think that they're giving up on you. But at the same time, you'd rather they give up than risk their lives to save you.

Jungkook continues to hold you in his arms, rocking you back and forth. "I'm sorry," he keeps repeating. "I'm so sorry, Y/N."

When Namjoon opens the door to the room, the others spill in. They tell you their parting words. But you can barely comprehend them. Relief floods through you, however. It makes you feel better that they're okay—that they're alive.

And soon, it's just you and Jungkook. Alone in the room. Just like your dream.

He won't stop apologizing. You manage to shake your head, attempting to give him a smile. It comes out forced. "No... I-It wasn't... It wasn't y-your f-fau...lt." You pause to take deep breaths. "Y-You..." you reach out to take Jungkook's other hand. It relieves you to see no blood. "You d-did... good."

The tears dribble down to the tip of his chin, and they fall down when he manages to smile back at you. "Y-You m-mean... You mean I did well."

You're half-crying, half-laughing, just like he is. Everything becomes less painful like this. It's better to go this way than to be separated by a door. It's better than what you had imagined.

"You did well, Y/N. You did so well," Jungkook repeats over and over again. He holds you in his arms tighter than ever.

You've always wanted to die in his arms.

You lose consciousness feeling safe and happy.

"You're never going to beat me," Jungkook snorts, swinging his baseball bat over his head.

You laugh, shoving the boy aside. "Watch me, then."

"Gladly."

It's baseball day. You and your seven other friends have gathered outside in the warm sunlight, ready to play ball as you and Jungkook had always hoped. Although it's a significantly modified (cough, simplified) version of baseball, it doesn't matter to you. There are no monsters, no blood, no death—just happiness.

Seokjin's polishing his frying pan off to the side, Jimin's wiping the dust off of his officer badge, Namjoon's studying from his binder, Taehyung's video-chatting with his dogs (don't ask), Hoseok's stirring up his best business plans and Yoongi's dozed off while standing.

It's perfect. A perfect world.

"I'll pitch," Jungkook tells you, tipping his baseball cap at you before giving you a handsome grin. "Careful, though. I'm not going easy on you."

You grin right back. "You don't have to. But if you want to keep your ego intact, I'll go easy on you."

"No need to," Jungkook laughs. "Just don't come crying to me when I beat your ass."

You snort. "I don't know, Jungkook, sounds a bit like you're dragging this on so you won't have to cry over an embarrassing loss."

"Oh, really? Okay, then. I'm going to pitch right now."

"Do it, then."

"I'm going to!"

He does, hurling the ball with all of his might but also with calculated precision.

The world around you blurs. All you can see is the ball hurtling towards you. And though you're not very imaginative, you envision the ball to be that sexist baseball coach you had years back; you envision the ball to be an ugly, aggressive zombie; you envision the ball to be death, unhappiness and regret.

You scream like a warrior going into battle when you hit the ball. The angle is just right, the strength is perfectly calculated. The ball flies up in the air—no doubt, a home run. You don't even have to run the bases to see that.

Jungkook's grinning—almost as if he expected you to make such a spectacular hit. He looks at you with adoration, with pride, with love. "That's my girl."

"I know! I'm amazing!" You grin too.

The world has never felt this perfect.

—part 1 | part 2

—masterlist

#ficswithluv #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts #ignis fatuus #the shorter and more depressing sister of part 1 #i hope yall don't come at me for this

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imagineryupfuckedworld · 3 years

Text

Are you okay?

Fandom: Solo Leveling Genderneutral Reader Pairing: Sung Jin Woo x Reader TW: Uhm mention of blood, depression, abandonment Part 1? Idk

You always knew he was something special. Even though it needed time to come through. It needed time to become, what he is now. Like a Diamond who once was coal, he now shines brighter than anyone. Maybe “shine” is the wrong word, but regardless, everyone now knows it. Everyone can finally see it. The way you always saw him. Sung Jin Woo finally broke through the shell that was around him. You never knew why he changed. What happened, except what was heard from others. After his major change Jin Woo begun to keep his distance. Maybe it was unintentional, maybe not. But he keeps drifting apart from you. Week to Week, day to day, hour to hour. No more daily calls till one fell asleep. No more patching him up and scolding him lightly because you were so worried about him. No more Bubbleteas and weekly get together. No more need to help him pay for the hospital bills and rent. No more anything. Jin Woo now reached a World, were you can’t be a part of it anymore. You aren’t a Hunter. So you can’t even support him in that matter. Helping him to pay off the bills was one of the only things you could do to support him but even now that isn’t needed anymore. Not to mention being emotional support when he needed it. He doesn’t need you anymore. Or so you feel. He doesn’t call anymore. He doesn’t tell you about the dungeons, how his family is. He doesn’t reminisce about old days with you anymore. Not even a text that he is okay, alive, unharmed. Nothing. No updates, only what you can see online from his new friends and his sister. Seemingly forgetting about you. You are happy for him. That people finally realize what a good person Jin Woo is. That he gets what he deserves for having such a difficult life. But it hurt that you don’t seem to be a part of it anymore. Even after he was...is such a major part of your life. Is it because you are weak? Ugly? Annoying? You don’t know because he never told you. He doesn’t tell you anything anymore...and you begun to keep silent about your life. At the beginning, you still updated him about your life, trying to keep small talk and texting about random things like you always do. Sending him memes and videos. But it slowly faded after his replies got shorter and shorter and shorter, then left in read and in the end, you weren’t even worthy enough to be left on read. It all came to a halt. No texts, no calls, no meetings. You even begun to avoid everything that has to do with him. Things that would remind you of him. All the pictures, gifts, everything physically was but into a box and placed somewhere, where you wouldn’t see it. You can’t. It just hurt to be reminded of how worthless you got. Your daily life changed and you tried to forget him, even to replace him but it was difficult. Somehow you managed to get your act together. When you have to socialize it is. At home, alone, it was a different story. It broke you how easily you were tossed away. As happy as you are for him, it hurt as much. You tried to talk to him so often, but he always found a way to avoid you. The more often you tried, the easier he slipped away. This was till you two had no choice but to interact. When the Dungeonmonsters came out of the Gates, all hell broke lose. It was terrifying seeing the things that Hunters are supposed to hunt, for yourself. They were monstrous, tall, bloody, horrendous and dangerous. Nobody expected that such things would come out, even though everybody feared it after the JeJu-Island-Raid. At that time, you were near the Gate. Shopping for Groceries. You were almost squashed to death from a big foot that stepped right in front of you. Your throat tightening. Gulping down a scream you fell on your behind. The groceries were now splattered everywhere. You saw dead bodies between the big toes of the Monster, seemingly the Hunters who wanted to clear the Gate. Wasn’t it a small D-Rank-Gate? Why are these monsters here? You did not had the time to think about it as the Monster seemed to notice you. It bend downward, his arm reaching out to you. You tried to scramble away. To get up and run inside in hope you would be safer there but you toppled over and over. Tears begun to well up into your eyes. Hiccups bubbling in your throat and your heart clenched. Your breath irregular. You don’t want to die. Yes, you go through so much pain right now and life is shitty but you don’t want to die. Help! Was your only thought. Someone, please help me! Anybody! any “anybody” came to rescue you. The second he took you in his arms you knew, who it was. The smell was what gave him out. The smell of Ebony that never left him. He shielded your eyes, so you wouldn’t see the blood he spilled or anything else, that would be to gruesome for you, knowing how sensitive you are. You can’t even watch a horrormovie properly without hiding your face in his shoulder. “Are you okay?” hearing his voice after so long made you tear up. The question he gave you, these simple words, stirred something up inside of you. It wasn’t pain or sadness that you felt all the time. No, it was anger. Anger at him for that it was of all the people him that rescued you. That he asked this question, after all the time. Asking, because of the monsters and not, because of all the other things or because he really want to know. You pushed him roughly away. Your head turned away so you wouldn’t see him. Not wanting to spare him any glance. “Thanks...” You tried to rescue what you could from your groceries, not waiting for anything he could say. You just want to go before you say something that you could regret. But what is it, that you would regret? Saying how you feel? How Jin Woo made you feel? How he threw you away? Or is it, that you would regret saying all these things knowing, it could hurt him like it has hurt you? “I asked if you’re okay?” The grip around the now ripped plastic-bag tightened. Your lips formed a thin line. Why can’t he just go and leave you alone like he already did? He is stirring up emotions, you never wanted to feel regarding him. “Why do you care?” It was a simple question. But filled with so much emotion and at the same time none. He looked taken aback. His eyes widened a bit when you looked him dead in the eyes. You gaze as dead and hollow as you feel at night. He opened his mouth to say something but you beat him to that. “I mean, you didn’t cared since a long time ago about me, no? Ignoring me, avoiding me, replacing and throwing me away. And now? Now you come here, rescuing me for what I am thankful, but asking me if I am okay? No. I am not. A monster almost killed me. In fact I am scared to death and at the verge of crying,” your voice begun to break a little, hiccups threatening to come out “But it is also a fact, that this isn’t the worst of all the things.” instead of hiccups, a bitterly laugh came out. “No, worse is, that it is you who rescued me. The Person who I did not wanted to see. So, no, I am not okay but it doesn’t concern you anymore, so goodbye.” Leaving your groceries behind you ran. As fast as you could. Never stopping or looking back. Not before you got home. You ran so much and so fast, you almost doubled over and puked on the floor. Your entire body was shaking, you sweat. You feel hot and cold at the same time. Your mind was racing faster, than you just ran. Everything just bubbled up and came out. It was too much to hold in it, so you screamed and trashed. Screamed our lungs out till they gave in and your throat begun to hurt and burn. You knocked everything over, throwing and kicking things. Hammering your fist against the walls till they bleed. You don’t know how long you did that but you stopped when you felt his arm around you. Again. The smell was intoxicating. A cloud of his smell formed around you. “I’m so sorry...” it was then and there, that you begun to cry. You pounded against his chest. Cried. Screamed at him. Merciless at how much he hurt you. How you hated him. How you never want to see him again. Asking him why he did that. Insulting him till no end. While you did all that. he just silently embraced you. Taking everything in you said. Never saying something against it or making excuses. Only these three words came out of him. Over and over and over.

#solo leveling #i alone level up #sung jin woo #sung jin woo x reader #x reader #scenario #Solo leveling Scenario

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belovedmuichiro · 2 years

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1/4 oh my god thank you so much for the detailed answer and i 100% agree. "sanemi internalizes his sadness and is outwardly aggressive, while giyuu internalizes his aggression and is outwardly depressed" so true!!!! i think this is maybe only tangentially related to what you were getting at but i was thinking about the interpretation of giyuu as a soft baby in the context of his backstory/relationship with sabito. i feel like what's so interesting about giyuu as a character is how utterly

No problem anon!! I really liked writing out that response, introspection on characters is so much fun omg and Giyuu is one of my all time favorite characters! Also sorry because this rant is all over the place I’m writing it just after I woke up lol

In response to Giyuu’s real personality, I’d say a lot of the things we see are… not him unfortunately. What we do know about Giyuu is that he’s strikingly different than he was as a kid.

Anyway, I think that the only glimpses of the real Giyuu that we get before his talk with Tanjiro are very subtle ones that only present themselves in tough situations. I think Giyuu sparing Tanjiro and Nezuko was really him, and I think him staking his life on them was also him. But I think the harsh words and seemingly emotionless exterior he wore throughout it are all things he’s developed since the events of his trauma.

In the end of the series, I think Giyuu has become a version of both the person he used to be and the person he became. It seems like Giyuu is still quiet , and he’s a victim of a senseless war so he’ll never really be the same, but he takes the steps to engage with his family more (Tanjiro, Nezuko, Urokodaki) and build real relationships (Sanemi and the Uzui family) and overall be happier. I think that’s a reflection of the life he deserved, with the influence of the time he spent lost and wandering, which turned him out to be the best version of himself.

I do think that Giyuu only spared Nezuko because of his own trauma involving his sister, honestly. I wrote a post about this (significantly shorter) but I think that Giyuu saw his sister in Tanjiro, someone who was desperate to save their younger sibling no matter what became of them, and I think that the part of Giyuu that remembered the devastation of losing Tsutako wouldn’t let him kill Nezuko after she proved herself to be harmless to Tanjiro. I genuinely think that was Giyuu projecting himself into these children and knowing that if he can safely stop them from being forcefully separated, then he’ll do it because nobody deserves to go through what he did.

Last part! Okay so, with Giyuu being babied in his and Sabito’s relationship, I think it’s another case of the fans latching onto one piece of his personality and not acknowledging why he was like that and how he grew out of it. Because Giyuu, as a child, was definitely latching onto Sabito like a crutch, he’s the only person he has around his age and they’re very close friends. But, we end up learning that that was also the wrong response to his trauma, because Sabito lectures him on his self deprecation and that he needs to be better for the sake of his sister and himself, that he needs to do better for himself! Giyuu being clingy and anxious and self deprecating is always wrong and something he needs to work on! So yes, he does act this way when he was younger, but this is a explicit flaw of his that he gets called out on very early in life so I think any Sabito lives aus that still make Giyuu out to be this way are missing the point of that scene and their relationship entirely.

Also, random note here, I actually do think it’s in character for Sabito to befriend someone who’s just kind of sweet and kind without much aggression lol. Like he’s takes on Tanjiro even though Tanjiro is like the nicest dude in the whole world and didn’t really see any of his aggressive moments ever (which are all caused by someone else, Tanjiro never picks a fight he just finishes them). And he’s obviously somewhat close with Makomo to be working with her on Tanjiro’s training, and she’s also never mean or angry, so I’d say Sabito is like the sunshine protector and everyone else is the sunshine akdjskdjskdk

Anyway sorry for the rant again! It’s so uncoordinated, but like I said I just woke up and started writing this, so forgive me 😅 I really do love writing these tho I swear I could go on about any character for hours, so thanks for asking!

#emmie speaks #anon #character analysis #kny manga spoilers

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grey-water-colors · 3 years

Text

After All This Time (Bucky x Fem!Reader) Part 4

It's short, but I cried writing it. I've hit a bit of a writers block, but I think I've got that sorted out. I just needed to take a thinking shower and I got it. This will be my longest series and I'm trying to eek it out a bit, but I'm still new at this, so please have patience.

Summary: The real world is a scary place, even more so when you’re alone. You live alone in a apartment filed with the figurative ghosts of your memories. You’ve both changed since you last met your fiancé, but can love mend the gap after all this time.

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Talk of torture, death, triggers. Mentions of humiliation. Sadness, depression, self-loathing. ANGST. Fluff comes next time I think.

Word Count: 2,066 Shorter than usual, but I think I make up for it in feels.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock at the door startles Y/N out of her thoughts. She hadn’t really left the apartment for anything other than her job, which was only two days a week. Despite having almost completely shutting down, the house was clean.

Y/N opened the door and gaped at the person on the other side.

“Steve? What are you doing here?”

Steve just smiled. “May I come in?”

She opened the door wider so Steve could walk through, then shut the door gently. She turned around and watched Steve walk to the couch on the opposite wall and take a seat. She opted to perch on the arm of the wingback.

“To what do I owe this visit?”

Steve laughed quietly, amused with her. “I could say I just wanted to visit an old friend,” he smiled.

Y/N smiled but it fell as soon as it came. “But that isn’t the case is it?”

Steve sighed and she could see the same wear and tear in his eyes that every soldier carried around. He looked older, despite looking only in his 30’s. She supposed war does that to people though.

“I’m here to apologize for Bucky. He was out of line. I could hardly believe that he did what he did. I had hoped that if I gave him time, he would come here and do it himself.”

“You don’t need to apologize for him. I get it. I really do, and to a certain degree, he was right. But I have my own reasons for being here.”

Steve just nodded. “Has Sam told you about him?”

She let out a harsh laugh. “He didn’t need to. I was there. I know full well what he went through.”

“I wish I knew-,” he paused. “I wish I knew how to help. To ease his burden.”

“We all have our crosses to carry, some heavier than others. What we, and hundreds of others, went through was a horrific experience that isn’t easily put into words. He seems better though, right?”

Steve nodded, looking for words, “He isn’t the same.”

“None of us are,” she whispered. “That’s not the point of it though. If you’re trying to get the old Bucky back then you’re beating a dead horse. Help him become who he is now. Someone with more baggage than any person should ever carry. Don’t try to change him.”

“I’ll work on that. Speaking of people who have changed, are you ok? Sam says you haven’t been down to the VA in a while. He’s getting worried.”

Y/N shrugged and looked away. She wasn’t ok, but if she told that to Steve, he would do everything in his power to help her and she didn’t want his kind of help.

She put on a small smile. “If we’re going to talk about people changing, I think we should talk about you. What happened to scrawny Steve? You were my height the last I saw you and now you’re a buff giant.”

He laughed. “I’ve a lot to catch you up on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Steve. Before you leave, I’ve got something that I was hoping you’d give to Jam- Bucky.”

“Yes. Of course.”

Y/N handed him a letter. The writing on the outside just said ‘Bucky’.

“I’ll get this to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on Bucky’s door, then Steve walked in. Bucky looked at Steve with a look of sadness and self-loathing.

“What’d she say?” he whispered.

“That there was no reason to apologize.”

Bucky huffed. “Bullshit. I yelled at her. I called her weak and pathetic,” he looked away. “She would say something like that though.”

Steve sighed. “She gave me this to give to you.” He held out the letter.

“What’s in it?”

“No idea. She didn’t say and I didn’t ask.”

Bucky nodded, reluctant to open it.

Steve stood up and walked to the door. “I’ll let you read that in peace. I’ll be in the gym if you need me.”

Steve walked out and Bucky stared at the envelope in his hands. It was thick, and there was something small and lumpy in it.

He looked at, debating whether to open it or to put it in a drawer and leave it there till ate him alive. Curiosity got the best of him.

He opened the seal of the envelope with care, being sure not to rip it. When it was open he turned it over and something fell into his lap. His heart dropped.

There, on his lap, was the ring that been used to propose to her with. The last he had saw it, it had been nestled next her dog tags in the master bedroom. Why was it here?

He pulled out the folded paper and opened it. Smaller papers fell out onto his lap. They were old and had yellowed with time. He picked through some of them. His Social Security card, his birth certificate, and his bank papers. Everything he needed to restart his life outside of the avengers.

He finally started reading the letter.

~~~

Dear James,

Can I even call you James anymore? The only other person who called you that was your mother and maybe your sisters. There are so many things that I wanted to tell you when I saw you. To say to you, but then things, well you were there. I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation.

As you know, I was to leave a week after you. My orders were to fly to London to work there for three weeks, then get new orders. That’s not important though. What is important is that week that I spent alone was torture.

I wasn’t raised ignorant of the troubles of the world. Just like the rest of our age, I grew up in the Great Depression. My parents lost their job, and we almost lost our house. I grew up with the aftermath of the first World War. According to my mother, my father never recovered. War does that to people. It rips away your soul, takes your very being. I knew that.

When the second World War started, I would lay awake next to you and pray that US wouldn’t get involved. It was my worst nightmare. When the US did join, I knew, somehow that our lives were over. You probably don’t remember that I spent almost every waking moment with you. I was so happy when you proposed, but heartbroken as well. I just knew.

Knew that we weren’t coming back.

I spent the days of that week after you left getting things in order. Papers in the lockbox, hide the lockbox key. Cover the furniture to preserve it. I took care of everything. I left the ring in the lockbox.

I spent my nights awake in your chair, wondering what you were doing. Wondering if you were thinking of me. I’ll never know.

I was in Germany during December of 44. I was traveling with a group of soldiers. Everything happened so fast. Gunshots, yelling, blood. So much blood. That shade of red in the snow will always be etched into my brain. The German soldiers took prisoners, I was one of them. Out of the 25 I was traveling with, I ended up being the only survivor.

I transferred into the hands of Hydra. A replacement for a dead lab rat. My predecessor. They tortured me for so long. Wore me down to nothing. Humiliated me for game.

Every night as I laid in my cell, all I could think of was you. The memories of us in those three years. How perfect they were.

Of course, they weren’t perfect. We had fights, but they were never too bad. The apartment itself wasn’t great either, but it was home. The ceiling leaked in the bathroom, the floors creaked in the hallway, and the water took fifteen minutes to heat up. When you’re being tortured though, I guess that the mind only sees the good. I fixated on the apartment. It became the safe place. The only place in the world where the monsters couldn’t get to me. I held onto this place as long as I could.

But as much as the apartment was my safe place, all my memories of it were with you. So you had melted into that feeling of safety.

After they blocked away those memories, I didn’t even know they were gone. I became their puppet, a lab rat with no past or identity. Until I met you again. I didn’t know you, those memories were tucked away. My heart knew you though. I felt safe around you, which didn’t make sense because you were the Winter Soldier. Oh, but we worked well together. We did a couple missions, and I was living off an emotion I didn’t even know the name to.

Love. I didn’t know what that word even meant anymore, or what it felt like, but my heart reminded me every time you looked at me.

In the end, it was my fault that you ended up with the trauma you carry around pertaining to me. I got emotional when it was time to go, and we both suffered the consequences for it.

That happened in 1997. I went onto ice for the last time with a damaged windpipe, minor brain damage, and no memories to speak of. I was sent to Africa, and was going to be undergoing testing there, but my handlers got killed. I remained on ice for 27 years until Wakandan soldiers found me.

Shuri worked for 6 months to get rid of all the damage done to me with help of the notes that traveled with me. I spent 7 more months drowning in everything. I remembered everything. Every test, every horrid thing they did to me. But the worst part was remembering you. Remembering you and knowing what happened to you broke me.

It turns out I was right all along. We weren’t going back. I had to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t going to come back to me. So I reveled in the memories of you. Of us.

I had so many emotional setbacks, I was stuck reliving memories just from small triggers. A wrong look could send me spiraling into a black hole. But then I’d remember the apartment.

I couldn’t wait to go back. The one thing that had kept me sane, alive, and hopeful. The king paid for a plane ticket and I was back in New York. I wasn’t ready.

I had been so stuck in remembering that I didn’t, couldn’t, process the new. Still I persisted, until I could be in that apartment again. I had convinced myself that it would fix everything.

That it would fix me.

But you probably know that isn’t how life works. Those same memories that propelled me and kept me afloat, are now the anchor that drags me under. I’m drowning in the memories, and they cling to me. I’m trapped in a prison of my own making, unable to leave the ghosts haunting my memories of things that will never be again.

I stay awake at night reliving the days where I was happy, carefree, and in-love. But the truth is that I can’t sleep in the bed we shared because you aren’t in it. I can’t look at pictures of us, because we aren’t them anymore. I can’t wear the ring, because we are strangers.

So I live in a museum of things that shouldn’t exist anymore because I can’t move on. This apartment is killing me inside, but I can’t leave because I’ve convinced myself that this is the only place I’ll be safe.

The truth is, I am safe in this apartment, because the only thing that can hurt me here is myself.

Along with this letter, I’m also returning the ring. It belongs to you. I have also included your bank account numbers, so that you can access your accounts. I’m sure you won’t have as much trouble as I did.

I’d offer you a key, but I don’t think you’d ever want to step foot in here again. Truthfully, if I were you, I wouldn’t either, lest you get stuck here too.

Maybe in another life we could have been together longer, but just not in this one.

Love,

Sincerely,

Y/N

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky fic #mcu #mcu imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel universe #the avengers #x reader #reader insert

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saintsofvoid · 3 years

Text

Valor Rzeszutek timeline from birth to 2077+ cuz have put way too much thought and planning into his dumb ass. It's not 100% to everything, a lot of things are over simplified and had major effects on him, as well as other smaller events that did occur. But its something to kinda base him on of where he's been and where he's at now.

October 21st 1994 - Valor and Glory Rzeszutek were born to engineer Jeremiah and corpo Vivienne Rzeszutek in South Africa.

August 2005 - Vivienne received a new position with the HQ of her company, uprooting the family from SA to NUSA Las Vegas.

June 2006 - Jeremiah takes Valor with him on a small trip to NC, surprises him with tickets to see Samurai.

October 21st 2006 - Valor gets his first electric guitar for his 12th birthday.

November 19th 2010 - Vivienne dies of sudden health complications. Corporation covers her funeral costs and gives an additional 1 year salary to the family.

July 2012 - Valor joins Lazarus Group starting his mercenary/solo career.

September 2012 - Jeremiah leaves LV joining a group of Nomads heading East.

2013-15 - Valor served as gunner for Trauma Team LV; Glory was quickly rising through corprate ranks with Liive a doll company.

December 2017 - Corprate counter extractions, target found dead in a warehouse with a wreath around his head. First of many to be found this way.

2021-27 - Valor is assigned on military contract back to SA, orders suggested territory dispute and area fortification but actual politics of it was left out for troops. Mostly a show of muscle and patrolling different hot zones.

February 4th 2027 - Transport detail, halfway camp under fire. 14 dead another dozen injured, Valor and 3 others are taken prisoner.

February 6th 2027 - Valor wakes up strapped to an operating table, system diagnosis states a foreign piece of unregistered cyberware has been installed. Installation location is unknown as all ports are open, given the bandaging around his head and the pain at the base of his skull, assumed it was surgically implanted.

February 8th 2027 - Dumped in an unknown location, small town, in the middle of the night. Bloody, bruised, and weak manages to get himself up and starts to stumble down the empty street. Chip is activated, neural system goes offline, cyberpsychosis takes over sending Valor into a chaotic feral state.

February 9th-15th 2027 - Valor is held prisoner by local military company. Believing he works for the black market vendors he is tortured for days on end until information arrives that he is one of the MIA soldiers with Lazarus Group. Returned to a nearby base and sent back to NUSA for medical evaluation.

March 30th 2027 - Valor is released from medical care, honorably discharged from Lazarus for medical purposes. Do to the chip's nature it is unable to be removed, with no known tracers on the technology he is put on as risk for possible cyberpsychosis relapse. No evidence to prove that he will relapse he is free to leave the facility.

June 2027 - Valor meets a street drummer that goes by Rango. Former Nomad, part time roadie. He's a part time drummer and makes for good company, two start hanging out on the regular.

August 19th 2027 - Abduction in progress, high on painkillers Valor gives chase. First official run in with Arasaka Extractor, Umbra. Though the fight was short lived and Valor failed, Umbra, impressed with vitality and fight, severs Valor's ring finger. Taking it as an oath for the fight to continue on a better day for the solo.

December 7th 2027 - Valor is selected among a small group of Solos for a new prototype of cyberarms known as the MonoBlades by Kendachi. Do to his medical records he is unable to undergo the procedure for the new cybernetics though is assured his spot will be held until he's well enough.

April 2028 - Once again confronted with Umbra, though no fight happens, terms of the affair are made clear. Valor is being stalked by the other, for better or for worse. Next several months this obsession is made clear.

September 2028 - Convinced by his sister that he needs to get out more, get back to work, do something with his time. In a haze of foggy memories ends up joining an inferno and becoming a dom for hire. Pays good and keeps his nights filled can't complain.

December 19th 2028 - Clearance for the new cyberarms is granted, Valor is sent to one of Kendachi's orbital stations to receive the procedure and physical therapy for the new arms.

March 14th 2029 - Contacted by an old Netrunner friend asking to meet up. Meeting up at a Café off the old strip Sami introduces Valor to Kelvy Kai-Eurodyne, an independent media hunting down a Netrunner killer in NC. The name Umbra comes up in intercepted Arasaka documents, Valor tells them to drop it if they value any part of their lives before leaving the Café.

September 2029 - Working more on his music, got a group of friends together and produced their first demo by the end of the year going by the name Herken.

April 2030 - Local rock station for Central Vegas started playing their music, shortly there after Damion Kre Saint for No End Records signed the band, started work on their first official album.

August 2031 - Herken releases their first studio album, Remembering Nothing More to major success

October 15 2031 - First major tour for the band, switching from opening act to headliner at different gigs

May 2033 - Second album is released, touring there after

September 2036 - Third studio album is released, Cherish the Pain, album becomes a sensation in the rock scene

2038 - after several strings of murders, and NC naming a new serial killer, Sami contacts Valor thanking him for his warning nearly 10 years ago about Umbra.

February 2040 - Fourth album is released

August 2045 - Valor returns to work with Lazarus, back into solo work, mainly preforming counter extractions.

November 2046 - Attempted counter extraction comes too late, Valor calls in the body only to be confronted with Umbra as he attempts to exit the scene. Conversation was not recorded, both men left unharmed.

March 17 2049 - Glory Rzeszutek is murdered several blocks from her home, during an attempted robbery. Trauma is unable to revive her, information regarding her death is forwarded out to Valor there after.

March 23 2049 - Valor is switched from ops being put back on leave to manage his sister's affairs. He is the sole beneficiary to her estate, inheriting her wealth and stock with Liive, overnight making him a multi-billionaire and part of the Vegas elite.

April 2049 - dealing with the loss of his twin sister, Valor begins to go through a deep pit of depression. Having dealt with loss before, Solo career wasn't uncommon to lose friends, this however was different. Depression began to manifest into visual and audio hallucinations, making work nearly impossible to do

May 2049 - Jan 2050 - Valor is in and out of court and legal hearings in regards to his inheritance and the remainder of his sister's estate. Interviews running like its a celebratory thing gaining this wealth, truth being he just wants to get back to work. Ending result 75% of the wealth is locked in accounts and will not be released for another 20+ years.

February 2050 - Valor once again returns to work with Lazarus taking on smaller gigs for a time. Still dealing with his own mental state, he refuses to take on anymore large gigs.

July 2051 - Contract comes in for a security gig, easy job, 24/7 body detail for 1 year on tour. Contract is immediately pushed forward to Valor who accepts, only during briefing for the gig find out its for Kerry Eurodyne.

July 2052 - contract concluded with the tour a benefits relationship starts between Kerry and Valor. Valor opting to stay in NC for a few months extra on a "private" contract with the Rockerboy.

September 2054 - Kerry once again hires Valor as security for a shorter tour, media events for new album put on by his label.

2057 - Rumors start to surface that Umbra has been decommissioned amongst a small group of extractors, Sami brings up that Arasaka is keeping it quiet because he was the NC Gallery Killer and that is not a PR mess any company wants to deal with. All traces of him have been scrubbed from their databanks.

2058 - Valor receives a token from the Nomad group The Veils, and invitation to join them. Having heard rumors of the group, he's hesitant to act, even more so to inform anyone.

June 2059 - Valor retires from Lazarus and takes up the offering on The Veils token, following it out into the desert.

2060 - He is officially accepted into the clan, given a title by Azera and branded as part of them with his unique code. Beginning of a new life.

2067 - Valor begins spending more time at the Edges of Silence, a bleak stretch of dead desert where nothing grows. The clan believes the desert out there will either consume or the spirits will direct. Something keeps calling him back whenever he is close.

August 2074 - The choice is made to continue heading out West, follow the signs and see if he can make sense of the visions and voices. Gifted passage and return by Azera it is not a final goodbye from the clan.

2075 - Settled into NC, doesn't take long for his reputation to catch up with him, starts taking on independent Solo gigs. Quickly climbing up the chain and becoming a regular at the Afterlife, a gifted work horse for Rogue, but one she knows will get any job done.

2077 - Happens, that was a thing... yeah.

January 2078 - Valor and Kerry make the trip back out to The Veils, after a trial devoted to loyalty, Azera decides to spare them both, attempting to save Valor from the effects of the Relic.

May 2078 - Finally wakes back up, and on the recovery as his vitals have evened out and a sense of normalcy is restored. Though some side effects of the Relic cannot be reverted in his current body, he has his life with no threat of a imminent collapse.

#cp77 valor #cyberpunk oc #oc timeline #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #i hope this makes some sense to someone who may care #i finally finished it to a point lol

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therianterritory · 3 years

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Wolf behavior nuanced by human behavior

Hello hello, I go through the jungle of the Therian Community pretty much daily. I didn't need more than a year to know that therians love to express and talk about the urges, behaviors, and instincts of their theriotype. Logical, of course, it's what the community is about, to talk to people who experience the same thing. But something I often notice is that therians tend to link almost anything to their therianthropy. Of course, therianthropy can influence a person's life greatly. But something important we tend to forget is the fact that humans are also still animals. Even though we have evolved far enough to let our intelligence dominate our instincts, we still unconsciously display instinctive behavior 24/7. If I'd be a fly on your wall and observe you for a little bit, I could point out several behaviorisms that you didn't even think about doing.

Upon questioning a theriotype and examining your therianthropic behavior, it's always important to divide the instinctive human behavior from the non-human animal. I'm not saying some behavior can't be both, in fact, I believe a lot of therianthropy can be influenced by human behavior and the other way around. I often notice myself doing some wolf-like things, and then think to myself if that is normal for a human being to do as well. I am also in no way trying to debunk therianthropy, of course, why would I?

I wanted to dedicate this post to nuancing some often talked about wolf behaviors by comparing them to similar human behaviors. Of course with every human instinct and behavior, it is important to rather compare it to the times when we were still living in tribes, because that's the time where instincts were still crucial to our survival. Because that's what most behaviors and instincts are about: survival.

1. Packs We'll start off easy. A lot of therians express their desire for finding a therian pack. I sometimes hear wolf therians saying it's because their "inner wolf" desperately tries to find some soulmates to be family with. But in reality, as most of you may know, humans are also seriously drawn to forming groups (even with a hierarchy system). This is because it is essential to someone's survival to stick with a group. It's that sense of "belonging" that people are actually after, and that's okay.

2. Being a "lone" wolf Opposite to the human urge to form groups, a lot of therians claim they don't want to be in a pack and that they're generally anti-social. They believe that the lone wolf stays alone and completely fine with this. First of all, a lone wolf is never alone by choice, because every lone wolf either seeks a mate to start a pack with or has walked away/was driven away from their pack to find rest and die. A wolf being alone and staying alone voluntarily goes entirely against their nature, as wolves are pack animals. Now to look at human behaviors, social capabilities really variate per person. Every human eventually has to distance themselves from groups to recharge that social battery. Some people have a very long-running one, and some have a very short-running one. Even tho it may seem to go against that group-forming instinct, it's still a very normal human thing to do.

3. Curling up I often hear wolf therians whine about the fact that their human body is incapable of curling up the way a wolf does when they sleep. I speak from experience that this can indeed be a struggle, as it seems incredibly comfortable. But even though a wolf naturally curls up when they sleep, humans actually also have a rooted urge to curl up or at least make themselves small when they sleep. This posture stems from the fetal posture we had when we were still in our mother's womb. It was scientifically proven that reenacting this position gives a sense of protection. 40% of people actually sleep in this position. [source]

4. The Weather & the seasons I've heard quite some therians mention that the weather and the changes of the season have a great effect on the amount and severity of their shifts. I have the same, and I am not denying that shifts get influenced by these factors. But it is important to note that humans, in fact, also get greatly influenced by weather and seasons. The greatest proof of this is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is the occurrence of a person dealing with great mood swings and states of depression based on the time of the year. A lot of people feel more depressed during winter, for example. This also has to do with the amount of sunlight in comparison to summer. But factors like storms and snow also affect people's moods. It can make them excited and/or tensed.

5. Therian Territory ;) A lot of (wolf) therians such as myself have a big tendency to claim territory in a variety of ways. Wolves mark their territory by urinating everywhere. Although not every therian feels comfortable sharing their potential urges to urinate on trees like so, territorial urges are still expressed within the community. But have you ever wondered why people look for houses to live in? And why there is such a distinct border between what is your private property and the plain unclaimed sidewalk? Territory is linked to social status, for this reason, people often buy bigger houses when they earn more money than average, simply to claim space. In this article, there is some good evidence that human territoriality is, in fact, different from other animals.

6. Alphas This is actually the only point that I'd really like to debunk: what was once known as the wolf hierarchy. When wolves were being studied thoroughly, about their pack system, their behaviors, and body language, they were studied by putting a bunch of unrelated wild wolves in an enclosure. In order to survive, the alpha-beta-omega system formed, and this false theory was spread throughout the entire world. In reality, wolf packs are nothing more than families. The supposed "alphas" are simply the elders or parents of the pack. The betas are often the big sisters, and the omegas would be the pups.The funny part about this theory is that it was later discovered that apes, in fact, do have this hierarchy system... including humans. When humans form a group (not talking about families here), they will actually subconsciously create such a hierarchy system. There's often a leader (alpha), the people who follow that leader (beta), and the people who walk on the sideline, aren't taken as seriously or are even being a little neglected by the rest (omega). 7. Drawn to nature While most therians are particularly drawn to nature-like sceneries, more so than more people, humans in fact still generally feel more connected to nature than the city life. Living in cities is, in my opinion, more of a result of people staying together for better survival and being able to take a shorter distance to work. But naturally, humans have a deep connection with nature. In the world of biology, this is apparently called Biophilia (philia is a New Latin noun-combining form to describe a fondness or love for a specific subject). More about Biophilia can be found in this article.

In all honesty, a lot of therianthropic urges and behaviorism can have some type of nuance from our human nature. It does not make our Therianthropy any less valid (yes, I said the v-word :laugh: ). With this knowledge, I just hope that people are now able to make a better distinction between wolf and human behavior. So I hoped this helped a little, in case you're questioning an animal or researching some therianthropy roots.

Feel free to critique this piece as it was partially from my own memory from a couple of years of research, I'm not trying to play the all-knowing wolf here. I'd also love to know if you guys know more of these wolf behaviors that could be nuanced by human behavior! How many of these did you know about?

#therian #therianthropy #psychological therianthropy #wolf behavior #wolf nature #human behavior #human nature #therians #Wolftherian #therianterritory

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kirindensetsu · 3 years

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The Making of Fubuki

((Reposting from Den of Angels workshop thread because I wanted my friends to be able to see~))

After years of pining after dolls I couldn't afford as a broke teenager, my first BJD was a Bobobie Sprite I purchased for my 18th birthday. Unfortunately, she didn't live up to my expectations and I never really bonded with her. Her face was cute enough, but the Bobobie body lacked the grace and posing ability I imagined for the Unseelie faerie I'd been daydreaming of for years. Sueding and wiring didn't help, blushing and tattooing highlighted her blockiness, it was a mess. I packed her away and tried not to think about my disappointment for 12 years. In the meantime I learned to build and paint resin garage kits, inherited one of my sister's dolls, bought some others, took anatomy & physiology in college, and did a couple extensive restorations and full-body modifications. I was sure I had thrown her away at some point as a failed project, but last weekend I found her tucked away in a doll bag I thought was empty. Having just finished substantial mods on a Dollshe body, and awaiting an unfinished Unoa kit for my birthday in September, I decided that I owed it to her to try again. Doll nudity below the cut, looooong post--

My Sprite was originally going to be a pooka with golden eyes and extensive woad tattoos. The golden eyes are incredible, so those are staying, but she's now going to be a blue oni to fit in with the rest of my collection. My plan is to do extensive additive epoxy work, and then to use Krylon Fusion to give everything a unified finish. The goal of the project is to reduce the... idk, STRAIGHTNESS of the old Bobobie body. I was never going to be happy with it, the lines were all far too rigid.

Head: Modified mouth for a wider, smirking smile. Magnets added to headcap (old Bobobie used an S-hook iirc; I did this part back in 2008). Forehead drilled for 3mm brass rod armature, and epoxy used to sculpt horns over rod. Bust: Substantial subtractive modifications to breasts, which involved removal and readdition of nipples. Addition of epoxy clay to back and shoulders to give a more curved body line in profile. Deepening of shoulder sockets with 18mm eye bevel, followed by sanding to make shoulders narrower. Waist: Reshaping of upper torso joint into sphere for smoother range of motion. Subtraction of resin in back and addition of epoxy in front to enhance lumbar curve. Hips: Substantial reshaping of lower waist seam to more naturally follow the pelvic girdle. It reminded me of granny panties before Added epoxy to butt, again for lumbar curve. Thighs: Suwariko joint mod (cut the thigh and added a PVC insert to enable swivelling at the hip). Added epoxy to make her thighs look less straight. Calves: Removed 1cm of length at the ankles and rebevelled the socket. Removed resin at the ankles to bring them in, and added epoxy at the calves to make them curvier. Feet: Sculpted little claws, which were cute, and then decided the feet needed to be 5mm longer. Cut across, drilled and pinned with brass rod for structural strength, gap filled with epoxy clay. I also modded her feet to have defined arches and balls back when I first got her. Alas, spitting into the ocean. I added S-hooks, but did so by drilling the ankle and inserting brass rod to form the axle for the hook. Arms: The proportions on her upper arms BOTHERED me! they were so SHORT! and I only just figured out that's what I hated about them last week! I added 5mm to the upper arms by cutting them in the middle and using SteelStik to make a structural repair (plumber's epoxy putty has a shorter open time but far greater structural strength than artist's epoxy clay). Sanded the heck out of the wrists to give them a more delicate taper. Hands: Beyond salvage. The hands were my least-favorite part of this sculpt. I tried to bulk them up to look less spidery but it was just too difficult... I've ordered a different pair of MSD hands which will have claws added, and then when everything is painted it'll all match. Thanks for reading this far! Here's a preview of what her golden eyes look like next to Krylon Fusion in Antique Blue.

((first progress post)) I think I'm mostly done adding epoxy clay (at least where it'll show; presumably the wrist sockets will require tweaks to fit the new hands), so now it's time for finish sanding. I start with 60 grit for shaping, then switch to a 120 grit sanding sponge. To check for scratches, pinholes, and inadequately feathered edges, I apply a wash of diluted acrylic paint. Once the paint has dried, I scrub the piece with a nylon scouring pad. Paint remains in the surface irregularities.

All sanded with 220 grit. I don't think I'll be going higher than 400 because I want there to be some tooth for the paint.

Any pitting in the epoxy clay that can't be sanded out is marked with a Sharpie and will be patched with Tamiya spot putty.

I did a test spray of the Krylon Fusion on the headcap and it's fantastic! Holy cow is it *poisonous* tho, I'm used to working with volatile chemicals but this was something else. Get OUT OF THE AREA between coats and leave it outside until it stops outgassing, not just until it's ready to handle.

This test piece is four light coats sprayed 1 minute apart, allowed to cure for 4 hours, and then wetsanded to remove the spray texture. It's pretty sturdy but I will wait several more days to see how it continues to cure before experimenting with matte sealants. ((progress update 2))

Haven't done much but sand-and-fill-and-sand-and-fill, but my 14mm beveller came in today so I can start deepening her elbow and ankle sockets. Added some epoxy clay to the insides of the eyewells so 14mm eyes will fit with no gap. I need a needle file to clean up the corners of her mouth... Monster feets! Nails on the right came out better than the left, still need to feather-sand everything.

Elbows progress. The early Bobobie elbows are I guess /technically/ double-jointed because the joint is a sphere with two slots, but I thought I could do better than that. You can see epoxy clay spliced in to make the sphere into a peanut: this isn't a structurally sound repair unless you pop it apart and drill/pin/glue-epoxy it back together.

View from the back. By keeping the joint heads spherical with no elbow-shaped detailing, there's some rotation as well as flexion, which I like.

Touching her face with one of her old hands. I hope the new ones come soon!

((progress update 4))

In good news, these parts are all ready for paint! It's really hard to do prepwork with no filler primer, hope I didn't miss any spots...

In less good news, her new hands arrived and they are... very smol ;u; I forgot that the new trend for slim minis means that everyone has TINY LITTLE HANDS.

They are, however, beautifully sculpted and a good 3D reference for what needs fixing and how. Bobobie palm is very short relative to fingers: I made a transverse cut behind the knuckles and added epoxy to lengthen More curved volume across the back of the hand: Not necessarily realistic, but looks a little cuter, plus it makes the transition into the cylinder of the wrist look less stylistically jarring. More defined joint angles: Some of these I did via cut-and-thermoform repositioning, mostly I'm aiming to fake it by building up and carving away at the weird smooth curves. The fingers are just TOO SKINNY: But obviously I'm not going to squish rice-grain-sized blobs of epoxy to the fingers, right? It's too fiddly, it doesn't want to stick. What's the solution? Brace for a truly hideous WIP image--

"AAAAAAGH WHAT IS THAT DARK GRAY MESS" it's JB Weld epoxy! It's like load-bearing, slow-curing modeller's putty! Slathering putty onto an armature and then carving it away to refine the shape is how anime figure artists make hands and detailed hair. I was thinking about it from a polymer clay technique/perspective so I missed the obvious solution. Hand in the foreground has more layers than the hand in the background, every layer gets the shape a lil closer. ((progress post 5)) Parts set up on sticks so I can handle them without touching...

... and after 4 light coats!

Closeup of the head, lil' glossy because it's still drying. For the deeper areas like the joint slots, mouth, and the crannies of the ears, I'm going to have to decant some of the paint into a jar and apply it with a sacrificial brush.

((progress post 6)) I return from Depression! I finally finished sanding-and-spraying the Krylon Fusion coats, gave her a last polish with microfine to even out the texture, and have started blushing her. I'm using a mixture of Tamiya X-series acrylics applied via airbrush for basic contouring, then I'll go back in with pastel to add warm tones and details.

Fun discovery: in an attempt to cover some accidental overspray, I tried spraying the Fusion directly into the paint cup of the airbrush and using it to "erase" back to the base color. I'm NEVER using this product straight from the can again, it goes on so smooth and gorgeous from the airbrush! No orange peel or bubbles to sand away. I'm seriously tempted to get a can of pink and try blushing with it.

((progress post 7)) Doing a faceup over a spray-painted substrate is HARD I want to CRY. I talked about sanding out the spray texture to get an untextured surface, right? Welp, didn't/couldn't sand well enough in the corners of the mouth and the folds of the eyelids, so it's crusty-looking with pastels over it and now there's nothing I can do about it that doesn't involve stripping down to resin and starting again.

((final post)) Sueded and strung!

I didn't take pictures of the sueding process because I was using Barge Cement and it is messy and time-sensitive. I used masking tape to make templates of her joints, transferred to some thin gray lamb suede I found on eBay, and glued it fuzzy side out. The suede was thicker than real pliver, more like the thickness of silicone KIPS discs, but I think it worked out without too many fit issues. The trim store had 3.5mm elastic in a beautiful slate-blue color that I thought would look nicer in the joint slots, so she's strung throughout with thicker elastic. Some more poses to show off the functional mods~ Suwariko joints let her sit crosslegged, and more mobile wrists let her put her hands into the pose.

A more ball-and-socked shaped contact surface at her waist lets her slouch at a full range of angles instead of being locked into two.

With longer upper arms, she can reach the ground in this pose! You can also see how the modded waist joint lets her cock her hips.

She could always stand with locked knees. I think she needs some wire in her legs to let the suwariko joints hold their rotation against gravity, but I'll see how the elastic tension settles in first.

A parting shot out the snowy window. We've been having a hard time picking between a few names for her, but I think this settles it. Welcome back, Fubuki~

#making-of-fubuki #doll custom #bjd #bobobie

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ljf613 · 3 years

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Soren from The Dragon Prince for the 10 Headcanons. If you don't watch Dragon Prince then maybe Mako from Korra?

I do watch TDP, although I’ve been so focussed on ATLA lately that I haven’t done much in the way of headcanons or metas for any of the characters, but let’s see what I can do:

1) Soren’s got a strong inner compass, even if it doesn’t always point perfectly north. He might bend his beliefs, but he won’t ever break them.

2) The reason Soren chose to stay with Viren, instead of leaving with his mom, has very little to do with which parent he actually preferred, and more to do with that moral code I mentioned. In his juvenile mind, he thought his mom was in the wrong for giving up and leaving-- and Soren never gives up.

3) He and Callum have actually always been good friends, even if they don’t really get each other. In Soren’s world, a little good-natured teasing is just how he shows affection, and Callum knows that, so he takes it in stride. They very rarely get into any real fights, and neither of them is very good at holding grudges.

4) Soren wasn’t always the family jokester. When he was younger, he was more stoic, focussing on imitating his role models like his father and the members of the Crown Guard.

5) After Lissa left, Claudia, who had always been the cheerful, chirpy, inquisitive one, started withdrawing, becoming more and more depressed about everything that had happened. And Soren, who could never stand to see his little sister sad, made it his personal misson to make her laugh again.

6) Soren loves writing stories. He thinks of it as just a distracting little side hobby, but they’re actually really good. He doesn’t realize this, though, because his image of real storytellers are bards and poets, people who weave long, grand epics.... which are not his forte. His stories are shorter and less grand, humorous yet adventurous tales that would probably be popular with children.

7) Callum is one of the few people who knows about the notebook Soren keeps with all of his half-baked little plot bunnies, because it accidentally got mixed up with his sketchbook one time. He just flipped through the pages, trying to find a name or some other identifying details, but he became so fascinated he ended up reading the whole thing. Soren was super-embarassed when he found out, and ended up lying and telling Callum it was actually Claudia’s. But Soren, as we all know, is a horrible liar, and Callum wasn’t fooled. He pretended to go along with it, though.

8) Soren doesn’t actually know what happened to his notebook-- those last few weeks are such a blur, he can’t remember if he packed it in his saddlebag, left it at the palace, or lost it somewhere along the way.

9) He actually did bring it along, but it got mixed up and left in Claudia’s saddlebag. Claudia doesn’t actually know what it is he used that notebook for, but she knows he used to write in it when he thought nobody was looking. She knows that it was important to him. And, when she found it after the battle (while trying to find ingredients she might be able to use to save Viren), she was so angry that she set it on fire without really thinking about it, and watched it burn to ashes. (She regretted it, afterwards, though she won’t admit it. A part of her wonders if there might have been some answers in there, an explanation for why he betrayed their family.)

10) One evening, a few days after the battle, Ezran asked Callum if, maybe, he could tell him a bedtime story. Callum thought for a moment, and then turned to Soren and said that he would probably do a better job of it. Soren protested, but eventually allowed himself to be convinced, and ended up entertaining them all with a hilarious tale about a bird who’d lost its nest.

Bonus headcanons for Mako:

1) Mako can’t remember his last name. It’s not something he thought much about when he was younger-- last names are mainly used for paperwork and stuff, and most people don’t even have them (they’re primarily an Earth Kingdom thing). It wasn’t until he and Bolin met Toza, and the older man asked them if they had a surname to put on their team registry-- only for Bolin to be like “nah, we don’t have one”-- that he remembered, oh yeah, dad did have an extra name he used for stuff like this-- he just couldn’t recall what it was. He didn’t say anything to Bolin or Toza, though. It was just another thing to add to the list of ways he’d failed his little brother-- he couldn’t even give him a name.

2) Mako can’t remember a lot of stuff about life Before (that’s how he thinks of it: Before and After). He can’t remember where their house was, or why they were actually out the night his parents died. He can’t remember what his mom’s laugh sounded like, or how the punchline of his dad’s favorite joke went. He’s not even sure he can remember their faces.

3) His memory of the Incident is perfectly clear, though. He remembers screwing his eyes shut, the feeling of Bolin’s shoulders beneath his arms as he pressed his brother’s face into his chest to shield him from the sight. He remembers the muffled sound of his father’s screams, and the ashy taste that was left in his mouth. It’s the smell that he remembers best-- of smoke and burning flesh, and that horrifying but instinctive thought that it actually smelled..... good, like freshly cooked meat.

4) Mako couldn’t eat meat for years afterwards. He hid it from Bolin, telling him that he was a growing boy and needed any scraps they could get their hands on more than Mako did.

5) That first night after they met Toza, though, Bolin took some of the money he’d won from betting on the match (see Republic City Hustle) to treat them both to dinner at a “nice” (for them) restaurant, and ordered dishes that had meat in them. And Mako, who’s never been able to say no to his little brother, ate it with a smile plastered on to his face. It tasted delicious (he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not).

6) Despite all of that, he’s never had any hang-ups about his firebending. His mom was a firebender, and she’d made sure to drill it into his head that bending was a tool like any other-- some people chose to use it for evil, but that didn’t make it inherently bad, and she wouldn’t have wanted him to stop doing it just for her sake. He remembers that much, at least.

7) Mako’s always wanted to visit the Fire Nation, to see the place his mom grew up, maybe try and find her side of the family. But there’s just never been the time or money-- and, of course, he’s never admitted this to Bolin, who has never expressed any particular desire to go. He thought about it a lot during the three years Korra was gone, especially after Bolin left with Kuvira, idly wondering if there was a way he could scrape together enough time off to go, but it never seemed to work out. It’s just another thing on the list of dreams he’ll get to.... someday.

8) He doesn’t know what happened to the firebender who killed his parents. He never saw the man’s face. For all Mako knows, the killer could have been someone working in the Triad with them. He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t.

9) Mako really, really wants to be a dad. He wants to settle down, get married, build a family, and create a loving, supportive home like the one he can barely remember. This is part of the reason he tends to rush headlong into relationships, even if he knows they’re not quite right for him. He’s learnt that this causes more harm than good, though, and has decided that right now, the best thing he can do is take a break from dating and work on his own personal growth. He’s still young, there’s no rush.

10) Mako can’t remember the last time he actually cried. At the very least, he hasn’t done so since before his parents’ deaths. He’s not sure he remembers how.

#the dragon prince #avatar legend of korra #headcanon #soren #mako #mako x therapy #traumatized older brothers #i've got to do another one of these for sokka later

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love-bokumono-fics · 3 years

Text

Fresh Crops - Week of July 19 - July 25, 2021

The week's newest fics and chapter updates posted on AO3

All fics founds under the general "Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons" tag

Sakura Sisters - by LuluRuru; WIP, 2/?, 6k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Ships will be revealed soon!; Characters: Claire, Naomi, Brandon, Cliff, Doctor | Trent, Gray, Kai, Rick, Elli | Elly, Jennifer, Karen, Mary the Librarian | Marie, Popuri, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran

Additional Tags: Family, Slow Burn, POV Alternating, Updating tags as I go

Summary: Mineral Town is the destination for these two sisters. Claire appears dainty and sweet but really is childish and a loudmouth. Naomi appears shy and uncaring but is perceptive and a go-getter. The two of them are here for different reasons, but both of them have to manage Sakura Farm together. Will Claire be able to find her childhood friend and the boy who saved her? And will Naomi be able to find her true calling in life? The road ahead will be tough, but these two can do anything if they put their minds together. After all, that's what sisters are for, right?

for the hollow moon, abandon ship - by watchingwhiletheminutespass; WIP, 2/?, 2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: F/M, Gen

Fandoms: Sunshine Islands, Island of Happiness

Relationship: Lily/Will; Characters: Lily the Treasure Hunter, Will, Chelsea

Additional Tags: Character Study, lily and chelsea bonding, food food food lily loves food, will being a little too pure for lily's liking

Summary: New to the Sunshine Islands, Lily didn’t just discover ores. Collection of chronological Lily-centric oneshots about her life on Sunshine Islands, her thoughts about all her favorite villagers and the loving owner of a yacht. T for alcohol and some adult talk.

Four Funerals and a Beheading - by doodlebug_nimbus; WIP, 1/?, 1k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/F

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Elli, Claire the Farmer & Elli; Characters: Elli | Elly, Claire the Farmer, Doctor | Trent, Stu | Yu, Karen, Popuri, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran

Additional Tags: Heavy Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Instability, Mental Anguish, Past Character Death, Minor Character Death, Slow Build, Anxiety, Character Study, Female Friendship, Complicated Relationships, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Slow To Update, Female-Centric, Psychological Drama, One-Sided Attraction

Summary: Elli’s been in a downward spiral ever since her grandmother passed. With every passing day, and as more things push her to her limit, she loses more of her will to continue on. Something has to give, and Claire and the others may find out what gives when it’s too late…

Pistou Soup - by Measured; Completed, 1/1, 1.2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Farmer/Ford; Characters: Ford, Female Farmer

Additional Tags: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Pre-Relationship

Summary: Ford falls ill. He gets a visit from Holly, and some soup.

A Good Morning - by Measured; Completed, 1/1, 1.7k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Farmer/Ford; Characters: Ford, Female Farmer

Additional Tags: Fluff, Morning Routines, Marriage

Summary: Ford had a perfectly crafted morning routine. After marriage, things become less orderly.

The Shy Newcomer - by durotos; WIP, 122/?, 565k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Categories: F/M, Multi

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Claire the Farmer/Cliff; Characters: Claire, Cliff, Gray, Karen

Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Coming of Age, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, very slow burn, PROBABLY THE SLOWEST BURN EVER, Multiple Pairings

Summary: Claire, aching for something new in life, moves to Mineral Town and realizes at once that she has left everything she has ever known. At heart, a story about a young woman discovering that there is more to life if she just looks around her. A story of true love, friendship, hard work, and being part of something bigger than yourself. Slice of life/romance.

The Wayfarer's Way. - by callieicos; WIP, 12/?, 52k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Claire the Farmer/Cliff; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Cliff, Ann the Innkeeper, Carter the Pastor , Mary the Librarian, Doug, Stu, May, Elli, Brandon, Gotz, Gray, Duke, Manna, Kai, Will

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, I'll add more tags the more I write, Slice of Life, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, Character Development, Neurodiversity

Summary: Traveling to Mineral town was a huge change for Cliff. Whether that's a positive change or negative one is beyond him. Still, he makes the most of his stay and along the way, learns to open himself up to others again. Claire, Mineral Town's newest resident and farmer, is learning how to become more independent, while also finding people who accept her. Together, Claire and Cliff learn to become friends and get a feel for their vastly new lifestyles together.

Sugar and Spice - by Chibimiie; WIP, 17/?, 23k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Animal Parade

Relationships: Chase/Molly the Farmer, Angela/Luke; Characters: Molly | Hikari, Angela the Farmer, Chase, Luke

Additional Tags: first fic, Slow Burn, at least molly and chase are, oh god how do you tag fics, beginning is kinda rough, angela chapters tend to be shorter, mentions of eating disorders, ya girl was making it up as she went along, alternating povs, Friends to Lovers

Summary: Wanting to get away from past hurts of the city, sisters Molly and Angela decide to respond to a flyer advertising an abandoned farm on the faraway island of Castanet. Leaving behind their closest friends and brother Kasey, the two take a chance and move to the tiny island hoping for a new chance at life.

Mistletoe and Mischief Both Start With The Letter 'M' - by Measured; Completed, 1/1, 7.5k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Farmer/Ford, Kasumi/Komari, Hinata/Yuzuki; Characters: Ensemble, Ford, Female Farmer

Additional Tags: Holidays, Drink Spiking, Alcohol, Mistletoe, Fluff, Drunken Kissing

Summary: Ford is (reluctantly) convinced to attend a holiday party. One he intended to remain entirely sober at. When his drink is spiked, certain things are said.

Doug's Inn - by FriendOfBats; WIP, 1/?, 1.2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Cliff, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Doug | Dudley, Cliff, Rick, Popuri, Kai

Additional Tags: POV Multiple, Drama & Romance, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eventual Romance, Bittersweet, Angst and Drama, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change

Summary: Claire "Shelly" McPherson decides, once and for all, to leave the big city and her past behind her. On a whim, she buys a one-way ticket to Mineral Town and books a reservation at Doug's Inn. It's there that she meets new friends and discovers, in the idyllic little town, the little secrets that everyone is harboring... secrets not even the town bartender has heard about.

Play Nice - by here_have_a_sedative; WIP, 21/?, 61k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandom: Trio of Towns

Relationships: more as story progresses - Relationship; Wayne/Yuzuki, Hinata/Female Farmer, Ludus/Kasumi

Characters: Hinata, Kasumi, Yuzuki, Komari, Ludus, Siluka, Iluka, Wayne, Ford, Lisette, Female Farmer, Ensemble

Additional Tags: Cynicism, Cynical, Self-Harm, Suicide, Musical References, Tsunderes, Fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Crossover Pairings, Crossover, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read

Summary: Elanor moved here to become a farmer. As the roads open up, she meets a certain merchant from Tsuyukusa.

#fresh crop monday #harvest moon #story of seasons #trio of towns #friends of mineral town #animal parade #island of happiness #sunshine islands #fomt and 3ot fandoms were prolific this week lmao

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

Text

The Fight (Bit 17a)

Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 | Bit 4 | Bit 5 | Bit 6 | Bit 7 | Bit 8 | Bit 9 | Bit 10 | Bit 11a | Bit 11b | Bit 12 | Bit 13 | Bit 14 | Bit 15 | Bit 16 | Bit 17a

Ugh, so not sure about this bit. The writing is fighting me. Hope you Enjoy it anyway. I’ve been staring at it too long. I may edit it heavily later, but for now I just need to walk away. Walk away, Nutty, walk away.

-o-o-o-

“Ms Kent!”

His face was bright despite the remains of the black eye and the bandages swathing his head, and it lightened her heart.

“Alan, how are you feeling?”

She made her way over to a chair beside his bed and found herself quite happy to sit down.

“I’m okay.” He grinned and pointed to his head. “Except for the hair. Look what they did to it.”

She pressed her lips together. “It will grow back.”

“Yeah, but even John won’t be able to kill off all the photos. Gordon will be bringing this up for years to come.” And that was a genuine pout on the eleven year old’s face.

“You know, you shouldn’t under estimate your brother. He’s smarter than he acts.”

Blue eyes caught hers and frowned just a little...until they slipped off and landed on De.

“Ms Kent?”

“Oh, yes, this is my sister, De.”

“The D! You’re who Gordy has been raving about. What is your name short for?”

De, being De, just curled her lips into a secretive smile.

“I like your hair.” The fact Alan was still exuding energy, despite his injury, reassured her more than any words could. Sure, there were bags under his eyes and he was pale, but the spark that made Alan the eager student she knew was there.

Thank god.

“Ms Kent, you should dye your hair red. Not like Johnny’s but bright, bright red. That would be so cool.” A frown. “Hey, I could-“

“You’re not dyeing your hair red, Alan.” The deep baritone from beyond the curtain on the other side of the bed made Anna jump. She knew that voice.

A hand appeared and pushed the curtain aside to reveal Virgil sitting on the second bed in the room. He was almost as pale as his brother, dressed in a comfortable t-shirt and loose sweatpants, but he was smiling as he put his tablet down. “Hello, Ms Kent.”

“Virgil! How are you?” Rib. He’d had a broken rib.

A bit of a lopsided smile. “Been better, been worse. I should be asking you that question. That was a nasty concussion you had.”

She frowned at him, but then her eyes widened. “Oh god, I didn’t throw up on you, did I?”

The smile split into a grin. “No. Though you wouldn’t have been the first if you did.”

Mortification hit her. She had brief images left from after being rescued. Virgil was in a lot of them, but she hadn’t been all there herself. What had he witnessed?

The grin faded into a familiar gentle smile. “It is good to see you, in any case.”

“Thank you.” It burst out of her without thought and with so much passion. “Thank you for saving me. And for your kindness.”

“You’re welcome, though I have to say thank you to you for looking after sprout, here.” Virgil gestured at Alan with an arm only to wince and pull it back to his side.

“Are you okay?” It was a stupid question. The man obviously wasn’t, but part of her was tackling the fact that her rescue had likely injured him further.

“Virg broke another rib. Scott blew a gasket and made him stay to keep me company.” Alan looked like he wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bad thing. “He snores a lot.”

The glare Virgil shot Alan was pure brother and it almost had Anna laughing.

Almost.

A concerned smile at Virgil. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

He tilted his head to one side and shrugged with one shoulder. “I’ll live.”

A frown, but a twitch on the bed had her turning back to Alan. “What about you? I heard you had surgery?”

Virgil answered. “He’s going to be okay. They just needed to put him under to straighten out that skull of his.” It was said with a smile but there was an undercurrent of concern in those eyes. “The fracture was partially depressed.”

“I’m okay...except for my hair. How am I going to go to school with hair like this?!”

Virgil didn’t immediately answer and his hesitation communicated everything to Anna.

Alan wouldn’t be going back to school.

Not her school, at least.

Her insides sank a little. She had no doubt that the family would see that Alan would receive the best education they could provide, but the part of her that wasn’t a teacher, but more simply just Anna, saw it as an end to a relationship with the Tracys.

Not that she was clambering for buddy-buddies with these amazing people, but they were nice, she owed them and honestly, she just liked them.

Alan was a bright spark in her class. She could see the possibilities before him. She would have passed him onto high school in a short time anyway, but now...well, perhaps she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

But she was a professional.

She straightened in her seat.

De’s eyes flicked over to her and frowned just a little.

“You’ll be okay, Alan. It will grow back.”

“That’s what Virgil keeps saying. Yet, he’s not the one with half his hair missing.”

The older brother arched an eyebrow. “Would it help if I was?”

Alan stared at him. “You can’t shave your hair off, Virg. It would look silly.”

“Do you think people would make fun of me?”

“Gordon would.”

Virgil sighed. “Gordon is Gordon. Do you think anyone else would say anything if I shaved half my hair off?”

“Scott might think you’re a little crazy.”

“True. That is what he said last time.”

Alan blinked. “Last time?”

“Last time I shaved half my hair off.”

“You shaved half your hair off?!”

He shrugged. “I was sixteen. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” A smirk. “Dad didn’t agree.”

Eyes wide. “You did it without Dad’s permission?”

“Just a little.” Virgil held up a hand with two fingers a tiny amount apart. He shrugged...and grimaced. “It grew back.”

Anna didn’t miss Alan staring up at Virgil’s thick black hair, a little scruffy and obviously finger combed into place from the standard bed head.

“You could always cut the other side shorter so it doesn’t take as much time to catch up.” Anna shifted in her seat.

De noticed and a hand landed gently on her shoulder.

A pair of brown eyes latched on to her. “You never answered me, Ms Kent. How are you feeling?”

Honestly? “Tired.”

A single nod. “Yeah, concussions do that.” His eyes flickered to De and back. “Make sure you take it easy for the next week at least. Don’t mess with it. Treat yourself kindly.”

De spoke up. “Don’t worry, Mr Tracy, she’s coming to stay with us.” Her sister smiled at her. “Whether she likes it or not.”

Anna sighed. Great, now her sister was going to smother her.

The giggle snort from the bed had her looking up in surprise. Alan was grinning fit to split his newly healed head. “You’ve got a Scott, too.”

Huh?

“Except yours is a twin with purple hair.” Alan frowned. “Hey, Virg, has Scott ever done anything with his hair I don’t know about?”

A blink. “Uh, no. Apart from that time Gordon sprayed it with glitter hairspray. Took him weeks to get that out.” Virgil was grinning at an obviously amusing memory.

“Can we do that again?”

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Alan Tracy #Virgil Tracy #Anna Kent

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mechmech · 3 years

Text

Ok so I know this is like my first post but I’ve been working on it cause a friend did it for their dnd character and I was like this could be fun and give people some insight. Questions wandered as Mecha 1-100

Smell like: oil, sweat, and more recently baby spit-up

Voice: Not many people will understand this fem-V from cyberpunk. Sorta gravely

Motivator: Research mostly. Finding out new things and applying them. More recently though her kid and making a better world for them.

Most embarrassing memory: She doesn’t like to share this story, but when she was younger and moved around with her sister mecha, she was afraid to GO in the woods because she accidentally wandered onto a farmer’s land and was caught pantsless.

How do they react to pain: “ You wanna hit me go ahead, just stay away from the hands and eyes” She can deal with a great deal of physical pain but when it comes to emotions and others she is like a mage named Corren

Wear: Normally throughout the day, she wears her metal armor. Outside of her armor, she wears a simple black dress when relaxing, a work apron while working, and always Always gauntlets and a blindfold

Most positive relationship: THis is difficult because so many of them have done different things, but most probably Corren and her want to be more good like him

The weirdest thing I have ever eaten: Correns cooking

Sleep: “Alister! Corren! Cuddle me!” Yea she will cuddle up with almost any person who trusts and it depends on the person. Alister: Alister is the big spoon and mecha buries herself into his chest and stomach. Corren: Mecha is like a koala to Corren and just hugs onto a single leg.

Favorite food/ kinda food: Vegetables honestly, but also baked goods like bread

Most insecure about: How others see her

Like to wear: adaptable clothing, something that can be used for many different functions and also gotta be able to get dirty and clean when you need it

How do they react to feelings of guilt: Previously they bottled them up, but more and more they are learning to talk to others about that guilt. Ultimately she always feels guilty for something

React to betrayal: Depends on the person buuuttttt, angry, blames themself for part of it, tries to move on quickly

Greatest achievement: MOCHA

Too little sleep: quiet and most likely taking a nap in the skeleton’s arms. That's If she is actually tired. Shel heals fatigue in an instant.

What are they like a drunk: If she drinks and gets drunk and that's a big if she becomes an I love you drunk and we'll just tell everyone what she likes about them before passing out.

Music likes: A lot of Rock and techno music, a little bit of pop only because it fits.

Right or left-handed: She always works with her hammer in her right hand.

Fears: Being completely alone, losing her friends, losing Mocha, destroying the world, the unknown, diseases, being like her mother

Favorite weather: Nice sunny days with a slight breeze

Favorite color: it’s hard because it's between gold and blue

Collect anything: besides random trophies, rocks that she sometimes gives away.

Hot or cold weather: Hot because you can cool down easily.

Eye color: Goldenish/ yellow

Race/ ethnicity: Well Gremlin in Sekrezia, in the real world through it's between Brazilian and Irish

Hair color: Ginger/ red

Happy where they are currently: Nope, not even a little bit. She's upset because she believes she has possibly doomed the world and has actually found someone she can connect with/ has some feeling for and they just keep backsliding her. She also hates that she has to leave her new daughter.

Mounting person: YES!!! Up early to get shit done

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise is extremely pretty to watch especially when you can but caves are a thing.

Messy or organized: Like myself, it's a chaotic form of organization

Pet peeves: Jumping to conclusions, mistreating machines

Objects of significant importance: Her forge hammer which is like a badge of office saying she is a member of a smithing guild and her evil eye because a really good friend helped her make it.

Least favorite food: The rock she accidentally tried to eat while she was tired delirious one night in a cave.

Least favorite color: Kelly Green. Look it looks like puke, nothing against other greens but this one ugh

Least favorite smell: Decaying flesh

The last time they cried: mhhh a few weeks but it's gonna be soon. Definitely the birth of her child.

Anybody with them: entire party forMochas birth, but other than that Corren and Alistar

The time they got injured: Well getting crushed by a giant cube was bad, the worst injury would probably be getting dragged into lava by her own creation that she loved.

Scars: Nope none so far that are physical. Some mental ones that she's working through.

Mental health issues: Paranoia, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, PTSD

Bad habits: Shutting everyone else out.

Why might someone dislike her: SHe can be a bit standoffish and definitely hard-headed.

Why might someone love her: He has a big heart for those she cares about, she's smart and also creates a lot of small gifts that aren't for value but personal reasons.

Believe in ghosts: Literally was in a plane of the dead, soooo yes

Anyone they would trust with their life: Corren, Alistar, Torvid, Simple,

Romantically interested in anyone: Spectra, depends on the person. ACE and Demiromantic

Dating/ Married: Complicated is what it is. Yes dating somewhat but it’s not a good relationship

Like surprises: Yes, surprises are nice and add a bit of fun to life. Other than a somewhat surprising pregnancy.

Birthday: I honestly forget but it's their weave day

Celebrate their birthday: Only with those they care about, which is few but some members of the party yes.

Family: Dad is dead, Mom is alive supposedly but she was supposed to be dead, and sister is possibly dead but in a bit of denial about it

Close to their family: Chosen family yes.

MBTI type: ISTP

Zodiac signs: I forget the sekrezian one but in real life Aquarius

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Alignment; Chaotic neutral/ good

Nightmares: Losing the entire party in ways that they caused ore were directly a part of.

View on death: CHanged a lot as their questline has gone on but “Once someone has passed from this world and seen the raven queen and chosen their afterlife that is it, they are at peace and will stay there unless the gods dictate differently. Past a resurrection people should not come back. I have learned this the hard way and watched what happens when you play with death”.

Something they always laugh at: Corren getting flustered and digging himself into holes he can't get out of.

When bored, what do they do: Read a book/ tinker with new experiments

Enjoy the outside: yes, especially new areas where there are unexplored places.

Accent: Somewhat of a german accent but I’m no good at replicating it

Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, the first reaction: “Who left this perfectly good piece of cake here?”

If they knew they were going to die what would they do/ say: Alister: Be a good father to Mocha, Corren: Be a good stepfather to Mocha and make sure Alister stays on the right path, Simple Geoff: didn't like you at first but your apart of my family now, Maple: Live your best life and don't let other people tell you what you can be also given up on revenge it's never as sweet as you think, Lautrec: (Opens box) sorry it took a while, Vlog: “you don't like me, I kinda like you, protect your own but never stop learning and exploring.

Feelings about sex: Mecha doesn’t want sex and feels really uncomfortable with it especially around people she doesn’t know, but around friends, she’s willing to talk about it but will also respect preferences.

Sexuality: questioning, but Grey-ace

Squeamish around blood: Nope “ I saved a man that had a lethal arrow through his neck”

Anything they find gross: Living hair/ hair constructs

TV trope: Reclusive nerd with a big heart

Enjoy helping people: Yes she really likes to help those who need it, but if she believes you can help yourself she will leave you to it.

Allergies: Seasonal/ pollen

Pet: Multiple constructs that range from a skeleton to a walking piece of glass

Quick to anger: No, she has somewhat of a calm head that eventually boils over and then causes a big yelling fight/ random actions such as throwing a stick of dynamite in a graveyard.

How patient is she: Rather patient especially when listening, not the greatest responder though

Good at cooking: Hell yea they are, give them a pan and they'll make you a feast

Favorite insult:” I'm coming for your knees” “Don't make me get the fume engine”

How do they act when happy: Huge grin on their face and they start fidgeting.

What do they do when they learn about others’ fears: Tease them slightly in private but keep the information to themselves.

Trustworthy: yes and very loyal to her friends.

Do they try to hide their emotions: Definitely but not always the greatest at hiding them cause everyone has a great sense of motive.

Exercise regularly: We walk and adventure every day while she carries probably over 25lb of mechanical items so yes.

Comfortable with the way they look: Mhh sometimes, but not always. She really doesn't like that she reminds herself of her sister or that she has distinct eyes.

Features they find attractive on others: Not really features, she's more into personality but she does like people’s eyes.

Personalities they find attractive: Protective, Kind, Smart, honest, loyal.

Do they like sweet foods: definitely into the sweeter things in life,

Age: in sekrezia: 204, equivalent age is like 45-55

Tall or short: 3ft pretty short but and on the shorter side of her race

Glasses or contacts: Nope just a cool ass blindfold and no it's not for BDSM

Consider herself attractive: Nope, not at all. SHes surprised if someone likes her in that way.

Sense of humor: Both dark and sexual but at the same time dad jokes as much as possible. Also random improv she comes up with on the spot, which is slightly me

What mood are they in most often: THe mood of trying to figure out how something works

What angers them: Hurting children, hurting the party, destroying art and machines, using others to your own gain, rape, slavery

Outlook on life: “Life is full of twists and turns. There is never bad without good. Take your time and really think about what you do, but don't forget to also just let go and go wild every now and then.

What makes them sad or depressed: THinking of their family/ friends being gone, children with no home, Mocha growing up alone.

Greatest weakness: Turning the mind against them/ lack of belief in herself and that she is not responsible for the world.

Greatest strength: Open mind and somewhat open heart.

Something they regret: not letting them self grieve for pax in a different way than hunting them down and screwing the world.

Biggest accomplishment: Having a kid

Hope for the future: open an orphanage and continue helping the Fucks make the world at least a little brighter.

#rpg #dnd #personal #source: scatterpatter

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risrielthron · 4 years

Text

Who We Were

This took a good long while because there was a retcon in November of 2015 that kinda forced Risri into hiatus. When I brought her back for the paper in 2016, some details changed but still this was an eye-opening exercise of how I’ve grown as both an RPer and a writer. Anything that does not have brackets is the same.

Take a trip down memory lane, pull up the oldest ‘about’ post you can find for your character, and annotate what has changed and what has stayed the same in {Curly brackets}.

(I borrowed this from @alyssa-ward because what a cool exercise)

Originally posted October 4, 2015

Character’s full name: Risri Elthron Reason or meaning of name: combination of Mother's best friend's name (still alive) and her mother's sister who died - Rislana (best friend) and Kiari (sister). The Elthron family have mostly played a back seat in the history of the Kaldorei. {Both of these origins have kind of changed. Risri’s name became a place that her parents named her after, something that was important to her father’s family in an RP with her aunt. The last name Elthron was chosen by Risri during her exile her original family name is Kal’serrar.} Character’s nickname: Ris Reason for nickname: just a short form of Risri

Physical appearance

Age: 403 {she has aged 1 rl year each year since 2015 she is currently 408 years old} How old does he/she appear: to a human about 20ish {I actually think now she probably seems a little older to people) Weight: We don't ask ladies this! Though she looks healthy and toned. {I figure she’s whatever the average weight is for female elves} Height: Average for a Kaldorei {This has changed a bit. I have her just a tad shorter than Dragaur in human form so she’s 6’2” which apparently is short for an elf} Body build: She's not a body builder but her activities keep her in shape. Shape of face: Typical Kaldorei {She did not have a face claim at the time nor did she have art. Her face looks like this art the most.}

Eye color: White {I list it as silver now} Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: light purplish Distinguishing marks: Claw tattoo (gained during her Druid initiation ceremony) Hair color: Purple Type of hair: Long Hairstyle: up in a ponytail or straight down her back {when I first made Risri I had her in the pigtail hair style. I quickly didnt like how it looks and changed it to the long style she sports now. It has not changed since} Voice: typically soft {I imagine her voice and accent a bit like Gal Gadot’s natural voice} Overall attractiveness: again not really caught up in her appearance so someone may need to tell her and even then she will more than likely blush and stammer a thank you. {This has changed so so much from when I first created her. She knows she is lovely and she will probably think you want something from her if you flatter her appearance.} Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: For events: dresses...she has discovered she likes pretty pretty dresses. For class: simple black pants and a simple shirt {So this too has changed from when I first created her. She aims for comfort and style. She most often will be found in one of these} Favorite outfit: Dresses, she found a lovely gold and white dress that has become her favorite {I dont even know what dress this was but Im sure it was something from my early days on wra-I would say her favorite outfit is probably one of the ones above} Jewelry or accessories: She wears a button on a string around her neck. She fondles it every so often. {The button on a string has actually moved to her bag, she now sports a ruby necklace from Dragaur, her bracelet with several charms on it, and always has her camera}

Personality

Alignment: Good {I think I would classify Risri now as more neutral these days} Good personality traits: Loves animals, children, books, meeting new people (even though she can be shy, she enjoys it), giving, loyal {This is all true except for the shyness, I don’t actually rp Risri as shy. She may be standoffish but thats cause IRL I am shy but Risri most definitely has no fear of talking to people} Bad personality traits: shyness can sometimes stop her from joining in, when she is caught up in research she may ignore others not to be hurtful she just gets caught up {I think this one goes with the other, as for bad traits today, I usually say she can be stuck in her ways at times and can be over protective} Mood character is most often in: happy {I would say this is still true but she’s had her share of pain} Sense of humor: silly things make her laugh {Not so much silly things but she definitely has a more snarky is funny sense of humor} Character’s greatest joy in life: running in the forest as a cat {Taking pictures and being a druid are equal} Character’s greatest fear: the death of her mother {This has actually come out in RP as a fear of mind control. She would fear the death of her mother but mind control tops it.} Why? Her mother and her are very close (unusual for Kaldorei, as they grow up communally typically), travelling with her mother in her formative years they relied upon each other What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Ris would be devastated if something happened to her mother {I think the death of Latilda, and then when she thought Dragaur was dead, and subsequently the death of Suzi in the office are three of the most profound things that made Risri change some. Her fel contamination would come a close fourth Currently, if something was to really happen to Dragaur, Sky, or Selise it would mess up Risri for a while} Character is most at ease when: Researching {Funnily enough this might still be true, but I would say taking pictures is probably more} Most ill at ease when: at war {This is true, but as she found out both at Darkshore and recently when there are forsaken involved she has no hesitation in killing.} Enraged when: witnessing senseless destruction of sacred places or artifacts {I completely forgot that I chose that, but I would say it has not changed. She also does not stand for people she cares about being hurt, this one is tricky though and I often have to tame it down because of interactions with others.} Depressed or sad when: she is a pretty positive individual, depression and sadness are fleeting if they happen at all. {This has matured over time. She gets very introspective at times and definitely will seek alone time when she is sad.} Priorities: Learn about as many cultures as she can, current focus is Treants. {So long ago… Her priorities currently are her studio, Dragaur, and helping the Kaldorei still homeless.} Life philosophy: Learn, Learn, Learn then share it all! {This was definitely written back in my Stormwind University days. Her philosophy “Be kind. It’s worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them.”} Character’s soft spot: her Sprite Darter "Flutter" {Also a certain worgen} Is this soft spot obvious to others? Sometimes {while I dont play it up too much she is very attached to Flutter. As for the worgen, yes when they are together it is clear she has a soft spot for the gruff one} Greatest strength: Passion for learning {This is probably still true but I would say she also is a pretty good photographer and a loyal friend.} Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Naivety of how the world really works even though she has travelled the two main continents extensively she has been sheltered by her mother. {This was one of the things I retconned out of her when I brought her back for the paper. Risri may be unknowing of some human interactions but she is far from naive in most cases.} Biggest regret: That one time at band camp...seriously she is young so right now she doesn't have one but this may play into her development and story later. {HUGE change here... in fleshing her out in RP the biggest regret is and always will be the incident that forced her out of the Sentinels but not the results because it let her become a druid so its a double edged regret} Minor regret: she forgot to tell her mom about the time she ...oh that might not be appropriate for here {Again a change that came about from RP, that she threatened Dragaur with turning him in. She would never do that and she said it in a moment of frustration with him during a fight. It hurt them both too much.} Biggest accomplishment: coming soon {Running the paper. Opening her studio. either} Minor accomplishment: joining the University! {so many things, her writings, some of her photographs, saving people at Teldrassil, helping the Kaldorei in Stormwind.} Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: she was almost not able to become a druid...story for another time {This also changed with the retcon, but I would say the time she spent before coming to Stormwind would be something she would not want others to know about and will probably not talk about to anyone.} Why? She loves being a druid so not being one… {I have thoughts about what she was doing but its not fleshed out. Maybe someday and I can revisit this.} Character’s darkest secret: She is a pretty open book. Maybe later she will have a "dark" secret. {So this dark secret is the fact that she killed 10 Sentinels. That also came with the revamp.} Does anyone else know? {Several people.}

Goals

Drives and motivations: Curiosity unusual for a Kaldorei and need to have answers to questions { I would say this is somewhat still there and aided her when she was a reporter, but her drives and motivations are deeper now and the result of RP. She wants to make amends and sees her work with the Kaldorei refugees as part of that.} Immediate goals: Make friends with the treant she met at the Grove of Ancients {Keep her business running, aid the Kaldorei} Long term goals: Become an expert in as many cultures as she can {Live} How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Locate writings and interviewing others, spending time with treants ((her contact will be sending her around Azeroth and Draenor to meet with others)) {So her plan for her immediate goals are tied together. She takes a good portion of her profits from the studio and the two books she’s published to fund her relief efforts} How other characters will be affected: may be pestered for any little detail they have about treants {Most of the people she interacts with in RP would not be impacted.}

Past

Hometown: Darnassus {God I was such a noob. Feralas is her home.} Type of childhood: travelled both continents with her mother {so noob. She spent her youth in Feralas, Ashenvale, and Darkshore.} Pets: Sprite Darter named Flutter and a curious little white kitten {I retconned the kitten. Its only Flutter} First memory: Leaves above her (could be why she is fascinated with the treants...) {I think I’ll leave this one.} Most important childhood memory: Her and her mother on a ship talking into the night {This can stay too} Why? The closeness she felt to her mother {Because of this reason}

Present

Current location: Elwynn Forest, Jazimina Amberstill's "Ranch" {Stormwind City, either Dragaur’s apartment or her studio} Currently living with: Jazimina Amberstill and Ritti {Dragaur} Pets: Sprite Darter "Flutter" Religion: Follower of Elune {no change, add wild gods} Occupation: Researcher {Photographer} Finances: moderate {no change though she has more wealth than she lets on}

Family

Mother: Kahrysta Elthron {Oh wow I totally changed her mother’s name.. Its Alistra Kal’serrar } Relationship with her: good {excellent} Father: Brezlin Elthron Relationship with him: vague memories, he died when she was still a child Siblings: none Relationship with them: Spouse: none Relationship with him/her: Children: none {though she briefly adopted Ritti before they found the gnome’s family} Relationship with them: Other important family members: Mother's best friend Rislana is like an aunt {her aunt Tara, cousins, and another aunt I dont have a name for.}

Favorites

Color: Green and Purple {blues could be added} Least favorite color: Orange {sorry Drag, but I dont think its true anymore} Music: any Food: Chocolate Cookies {See answer here} Literature: Any Form of entertainment: stories {plays, dances could be added} Expressions: "Indeed!" {Its not often I get to use it but I do like it} Mode of transportation: Winterspring Frostsaber, given to her by her mother when she hit adulthood (about 50 years ago) or flight form {Flight form. The frostsaber went away in the retcon} Most prized possession: her journal {Camera}

Habits

Hobbies: Dabbles in alchemy {more than dabbles now} Plays a musical instrument? No Plays a sport: no How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading a book, any book {taking pictures} Spending habits: thrifty {for herself this is probably true, for others she can be extravagant} Smokes: no Drinks: not normally {no change, but she will drink} Other drugs: no What does he/she do too much of? Read {Take pictures} What does he/she do too little of? Socialize just for fun {This is probably more true now since giving up the paper} Extremely skilled at: Keeping a team alive when faced with challenges when exploring {Photography, writing could be added} Extremely unskilled at: a lot of things but she does hate cooking {LIES...I retconned this. She loves to cook. I don’t know...but I am sure there is something. It would probably be something she doesn’t do and has no desire to do.} Nervous tics: not sure someone may need to point that out to her {She plays with the bracelet on her wrist when she’s nervous. } Usual body posture: relaxed and happy Mannerisms: polite {extremely so} Peculiarities: … {hmm, I am sure there are some that have manifested over the five years I’ve been RPing her. Perhaps how she will always address a human as their full name unless she has been asked not to and will still use Ms. Mrs. Miss. Mr. with that name unless she feels close to you.}

Traits

Optimist or pessimist: Optimist Introvert or extrovert: Introvert until she gets to know you then she might not be quiet {I would say shes more mixed now.} Daredevil or cautious?: A little of both Logical or emotional: Emotional {probably more mixed now though she can be emotional she just normally doesn’t let it show unless she is very comfortable with you} Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat: somewhere in between, depends on how wrapped up she is in her research but she does have a habit of cleaning up if there is a mess { I would say she is very neat. Sky drives her crazy.} Prefers working or relaxing: working {definitely would say this is still true} Confident or unsure of himself/herself: unsure internally, others probably see her as confident {a little of this still lingers but unless you are close to her you wont see it} Animal lover: indeed

Self-Perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: an introvert who is more bookish than social {This is still kinda true.} One word the character would use to describe self: shy {Quiet} One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: A passionate learner and studier of peoples, loves animals, enjoys outdoors, and exploring is exciting. {A memory keeper, lover of animals and the outdoors, her passion for photography as a way to preserve memories is high.} What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? her passion for learning {her compassion for others} What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? her shyness ((its all in her head too, she really can be quite un-shy when meeting new races or investigating something though in social entertainment type situations she is at a loss)) {so retconned, she would say her possessiveness when it comes to the people she cares about.} What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? She is unaware of her appearance most of the time {She likes her hair.} What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? She hates her feet...not really {I’ll keep this if only cause I dont know} How does the character think others perceive him/her: She sometimes thinks too much about this and sometimes it doesn't bother her at all {She is very conscious of being a Kaldorei business woman in a human society. She strives to show that her people are trustworthy and kind.} What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: her shyness {Since I retconned the shyness...I don’t know...Risri believes she can be a better person but its something that you work on each day.}

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: opportunity to learn {She is still curious about others and likes people watching. She thinks most people are good at heart.} Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others: hmm, I think this will depend upon the relationship and situation {Oh most definitely, this was honed during her time as a reporter where she hid a lot of her thoughts about things.} Person character most hates: no one (yet) {Elyza Morrowbranch} Best friend(s): her mother / Jazi {Sky Stoneseat} Love interest(s): none (yet) {Dragaur} Person character goes to for advice: her mother / Dean Crowelley { Dragaur, Sky, Selise} Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Ritti {Dragaur, Sky } Person character feels shy or awkward around: cute boys...oh ok anyone in an entertainment social situation, when she is meeting others for what she calls "research" she emulates her mother's ambassador ways as much as possible {So such a noob. She really doesn’t except older Kaldorei...she worries what they know of her past.} Person character openly admires: her mother and Rislana Silverwind {Who is Rislana Silverwind omg I totally forgot this was a thing. Will have to think of someone else as Rislana is a Draenei now. As for who she admires? Her mother, Selise, Sky, Eilithe, Feyawen, Anegorn, and a few others.} Person character secretly admires: Dean Crowelley {I don’t think there is anyone she secretly admires, if she likes you, you know.} Most important person in character’s life before story starts: her mother After story starts: Ritti, Jazi, and the university faculty {Dragaur, Sky, Selise}

If you made it here thanks for looking at the changes of Risri over the course of the last five years. Its been a long, strange, crazy trip but I wouldn’t change much about it. If you want to do this, I encourage you to! And tag me cause I wanna read!

#risri

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btssmutficslovingfan01 · 4 years

Text

Late Night Confessions...With Father Jimin (Chapter One)

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘈 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩. 𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦, 𝘈 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘯𝘶𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: Romance, Smut, Forbidden Relationship

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈): Priest! Yoongi, Fake Priest Jimin, Nun! Reader, Accidental Murder

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 2k+

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jimin x Reader

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next →

_____________________________________________

“It was an accident!” The man yells towards the fallen priest.

“Of course it was. An accident that you hit me with your car just as we were crossing the road.”

“But the horse came out of nowher-”

“Bishop Francis?” The distraught priest shakes the other man, and just as he reveals his lifeless body to the younger, thunder strikes. The man’s eyes are wide open, the sockets having a yellowish tint around them. The corpse is fresh but already rotting, enough to make anyone want to empty the contents of their stomach.

“It’s going to rain, get up.” The younger male helps him to his car, offering to drive him to where he needs to go.

“You did this. You killed the bishop, and now you must pay.” He coughs wretchedly, his stomach churning as he eyes the shorter male. He noticed he has a similar build as the previous bishop, and a similar face, if he didn’t know any better, he might have mistaken him for the head of the church. An idea begins forming in his mind.

“I know what I did was wrong, but forgive me, I was in a rush, running away from people who aren’t particularly fond of me…”

“Why might that be?” It is in the priest’s nature to listen to others and tell them how to repent.

“I stole his watch.” The priest turns to him in disappointment. “Don’t look at me like that, we’re close in age, I can tell. I was born in the year of the pig, when were you born?” He asks the distraught priest.

“Rooster.”

“Ah, only 2 years older than me?! Can I call you hyung?” The older man glares back at the younger one as he quickly focuses back on driving.

“Sorry father.” He murmurs to the priest. If it only went a different way, he wouldn’t have killed someone. He wasn’t a natural killer, it wasn’t in his blood. Heck, he’d never even hurt a fly. It was an unfortunate accident.

“Listen, I have an idea that may allow you some grace from murdering the most important person in the church.”

“What might that be?” The priest begins digging through his large brown bag, and surprises the younger man by pulling out a robe and belt. The type that only priests wear.

“We’re gonna make you into half the man he was.”

“Half?” The thief steps on the break.

“No one will know, you guys are practically identical, physically. Now how good are your acting skills?” Oh dear, was this priest really gonna help him get away with murder?

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“Reverend Mother, are we really going to send this...imposter to the church of St. Paul?” A nun wearing white goes cribbing to the head nun again.

“Sister Gertrude, now is not the time to argue. My decision is final. We will help that poor girl keep her cover, in case those bad men come to find her again. This is all to protect a child of God.”

“But she isn’t even a real nun, we would be lying to the Catholic Church, and fooling everyone!” The reverend lights a candle and hands it to her student.

“No dear, we are helping a fellow nun. Go find Sister Rosemary and bring her to me. I will personally help her get...adjusted.” The nun coughs before sending the woman to fetch the other girl.

“Hey, you fake nun, Reverend Mother Flora is calling you. Go to her, and don’t whine this time.” Sister Greta tidies her corner of the room, making sure there is nothing messy in sight. She turns her head and her smile fades when she sees Sister Rosemary’s pig-sty of a bed. Right in the middle is the woman herself, covered head to toe in her own clothes, wearing an uncomfortably tight nun’s uniform. The real nun is offended that such a person could fool the others in the convent so easily and even get a prestigious honor of moving to the Church and serving God through mass and other important things that nuns do. In the short time that she’s been here, she’s accomplished more than Greta, and that infuriates the nun. Sister Greta knows that envy is a disgusting thing, but she can’t help it, she wanted to go to the church to complete her special nun duties and appease everyone. Instead, it’s this mongrel that has reserved her spot in the church and stolen the spotlight for being the “best.”

“I don’t wanna. But I guess I will, since I’m bored as hell—heck.” She catches herself before leaving Sister Rosemary to attend her meeting with the reverend.

“Sister Rosemary, so nice to see you again. Pray tell, are you ready to move to the Church of St. Paul?”

“Don’t call me that.” The girl hisses at her senior, anger boiling up in her veins. It was bad enough she had a bunch of bad guys chasing her on the orders of her dear brother. She just didn’t understand why he would condemn her like this, she just wanted to get away from her evil stepfather and his awful family. Not to mention away from the grips of her emotionally abusive brother–step-brother.

“Okay, Y/N.” The nun lets out a chuckle at her indifferent behavior. It had been a week but she was still the same girl she found hiding in the alley behind the convent. “You know your name is a dead giveaway, we need to keep your identity concealed.”

“I really don’t wanna be anywhere near a church right now but I guess I have no choice, huh?” The Reverend mother nods, giving her a basket of flowers, and clasps her hands together.

“It’s temporary, dear. But it’s hard to say how long you will be staying there, until the police get their hands on those people and you’re completely safe again.”

“I may not seem like it, but I really wanted to thank you reverend mother. You’ve treated me the best, even better than my real mother ever did. Thank you, so much.” Y/N sinks into her arms, hugging her and burying her tear-stained face in the nun’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, dear. It is our job, after all.” The Reverend Mother strokes her back until she stops sobbing, and she sends her off to help prepare a meal in the kitchen.

“When will you be leaving, Sister Rosemary?” Asks another nun as Y/N walks into the room.

“Evening. When the sun sets, I will get in a car and be driven to the church.”

“It’s nice there, I wish I could stay there forever but they only accept a couple sisters there every year, and I heard you have to attend four masses each day.” The said girl groans and makes her way to the table, setting down a plate of fruits.

“It sounds exhausting.” Another girl says, much to Y/N’s dismay.

“Let’s just ignore the negatives, Sister Hilda always said to keep your chin up, and always be happy!”

“Sounds like a depressed nun to me.” Y/N mutters under her breath.

“Mmhmm! I always hear good things from the nuns there, but they are very strict.” Sister Riya warns.

“Sisters, time for lunch!”

Second Person POV

After supper, you find yourself packing and getting ready to leave the place that you found comfort in. Strangely enough, you found yourself growing attached to the abbey and the sisters in it.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“Father Yoongi, do you think we’re gonna pull this off?” The thief asks with sweat droplets trailing down his chin.

“Yes, Jimin. As far as God lets us. You can act well, right?” Jimin nods, running his fingers through his fluffy hair.

“I even look like a priest now, what the hell?” To his dismay, Jimin looked like a real priest. He would’ve never imagined ever being part of a church, at least before his parents passed away. He needed a better job anyway, being a thief wasn’t a choice, he had to make money somehow. He doesn’t know how it’s going to go anyways, he could be really good or bad depending on whether he gets caught or not. He knows some people in the church are super observant.

“Priests don’t curse.” Yoongi grits his teeth, making Jimin stand up straight.

“R-right.”

“Come with me, I’ll introduce you to the others. Except the archbishop, he’s too busy.”

“But aren’t I the bishop?” Jimin remembers when the priest told him he had murdered an important figure in the church, something starting with a “B.”

“Yes. I’m surprised you remember.” He takes him into another room, which looks to be a chapel. Inside, three priests stand at the altar, fixing the decor.

“Father Jin, have you replaced the flowers?” A tall priest stands at attention when he sees Yoongi.

“Yes, father Yoongi. I’ve replaced all the flowers in the church.”

“Is the clergy house clean?”

“Spotless.” Jimin looks back and forth, a bit confused as the other priests bow to him in greeting. He puts his hand up, like he’s seen bishops on the tv do when he was five.

“Father Taehyung, have you marked the readings for today?”

“Yes.” Jimin is left in awe as he discovers new things he didn’t know about the church before. Everyone has a job to help it work, together.

“Ahem, Father Joseph?” Another tall priest picks himself up, looking to have fallen asleep.

“Yes?”

“Do you take this job to be a joke?” Father Yoongi’s tone frightens Jimin. So far, he’s been calm but seeing him angry is kind of offputting.

“N-no sir.”

“Dismissed.” All of the other priests in the room gasp, as the other priest makes his away out of the room, removing his belt and holy robes. It looks as if he has been stripped of his rights as a priest.

“Did you just fire him?” Jimin whispers to Yoongi.

“Yes. Bishop Francis, you might want to go into the back and start blessing the water. We must change it.” Father Yoongi gives him his first orders. “I can’t come back with you since I’m busy but here is the prayer of blessing.” He gives him a small paper with the prayer and Jimin makes his way into the place where they prepare everything before the mass. He sighs, holding his right hand up and trying to sell it to the others. He knows he isn’t worthy to bless something because he is cursed, in his own ways. Just a day ago he was robbing houses and now, he’s dressed in holy attire and reciting prayers. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing here.

“Father Francis, there’s a new nun who says she was sent by the convent.”

“No, you’re supposed to call me for that, I’ll take care of it, sorry Bishop Francis.” Yoongi glares at the other priest before dashing to the entrance to meet with the woman. Father Yoongi had been exchanging phone calls with the Reverend Mother, since the girl first assumed her identity as a nun. He didn’t know exactly what happened but just that she was in grave danger and the church of St. Paul was to aid her, until she was completely safe. And he was to let no one else know, just like how the Bishop’s identity is concealed from the rest of the priests. Yoongi is a little exhausted from keeping so many secrets, afraid that he might accidentally let it slip.

“Hello dear, you must be Sister Rosemary?” You nod, a little bit uneasy.

“I’m the only one who knows who you are, so feel free to be comfortable around me. I promise I won’t hurt you.” While Father Yoongi speaks to you, Jimin watches you from the glass-stained windows as you stroll through the garden.

“I’m really thankful for this, but I’m still scared of getting my cover blown.”

“Don’t be, our church will make sure you feel at home.”

“Please don’t do that. My “home” is scary enough, if anything I’d rather be here.” You explain,

“I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make you feel a bit safer, let me know.” You giggle at Father Yoongi’s efforts to help you fit in. You hate the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, and catching yourself as you stare at him a bit too long. He’s handsome, more handsome than your step brother, or the boy you liked in middle school.

“Is there something on my face?” You shake your head as Yoongi points at his face.

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Anyways, as I was saying, there are fewer nuns here so instead of going to a separate building, you will be staying in the clergy house, but you will have your privacy and your room will be off-limits to anyone else.”

“How many other nuns are here?” You ask, out of curiosity.

“About 3 others,” You nod, accepting that you might be doomed after all. Your brother will find you here and you will be torn from limb to limb, probably being chained up and beaten black and blue after. Probably. “Y/N?” He breaks your train of thought, snapping you back to reality.

“I’m sorry, Yoon-Father.” You look away, ashamed.

“You poor thing, just what did you go through?” You find yourself crying profusely, tears rolling down your cheeks. Hot tears, too.

“I kn-know we just met, but can I h-hug you?” You ask, feeling vulnerable again. As an 18 year old, this kind of trauma is something that cannot be healed. You’ve been suffering for seven years, since your mother married that man.

“Of course.” The priest opens his arms to you, and you gratefully accept, your heart beat increasing, your cheeks become red, and your eyes even redder. Jimin watches intently, his gaze burning holes into your back. You don’t see him at first, but you notice the movement in the window, and you break the hug first.

“Thank you.” You whisper meekly to him.

“Would you like to see the room you’re staying in?” You nod, as Father Yoongi leads you into the church through the back door. “Ah, Bishop Francis, you were here?” He forgot all about his new problem, the man posing as the Bishop. The murderer.

“Who’s this?” Jimin peers down at you with an unreadable expression. You gulp, feeling a familiar heat in your stomach that you feel when your brother is near. He gives off the same vibes.

“This is Sister Rosemary, she will be helping with the services.” Father Yoongi leads her into the chapel, and ignores Jimin’s burning gaze. Did Jimin imagine it or did he see a priest hugging a nun in an intimate manner? Wasn’t physical contact forbidden in the church? If not, he has a lot to learn.

Later that evening, all the priests and nuns gather for the last prayer of the day, which is supposed to act like a sendoff of sorts, relieving them of their extraneous duties for the day. You found yourself liking it a lot more than you thought you would, and praying was actually making you feel better. Maybe it was the subtle glances of pity from Father Yoongi, or the calm gentle humming from Father Taehyung, or even the voice of Father Jin as he read the last gospel, but you felt a lot better, and at ease. Of course, the Bishop was looking at you the entire time, not even hiding his doubt one bit. He suspects you, and the only thing you can do is to evade it. Make him believe that you are a nun as well.

Jimin, however was not suspecting you of anything. His thoughts were fixated on when he was getting out of the church, before they found the body of the actual Bishop. Him and Yoongi had buried him, after all, but it was only a matter of time, before they condemned him.

After the prayer, Jimin remains in the chapel, his eyes closed as his mind wandered. It wasn’t just him, but you who decided to stay as well, praying for your wellbeing, and all the others who had helped you thus far. You look towards the Bishop, confused as to why he wasn’t the first to leave. Isn’t he the head of the church? After praying for awhile, you blow out the candles in the chapel, from the back to the front, finally reaching the dimly lit alter.

“Don’t blow those out, please,” You nod, as Jimin keeps his eyes shut. You take that as a sign to leave. “I hope you won’t make any of us stray away from God, we’re all men of the church, you know?” His comment makes you freeze in your tracks. What did he just say to you? And then you remember the incident in the garden. He must’ve seen.

“I know.” You simply reply, running to your private room and locking the door. You just wanted to sleep, but your mind wouldn’t let you. You’re in too deep. The Bishop doubts you, but you’ve barely said a couple words.

#jimin #jimin x reader #bts #jimin priest #priest yoongi #nun reader

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