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#their best to keep you out of very specific life threatening danger - I think you owe your sibling to try and save them from whatever

actualbird · 11 months

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i've been really curious to ask you about what's your opinion or idea about luke's sudden behavior change or Raven'? do you think it's just a facade he puts on to bear with his unique type of work or there's something more to it? (also i apologize if you've answered this before)

oh i adore this question!! i think i answered something similar to it but it was like way waaaaaaaayy back, so no worries, i cant even remember my response before...

anyhoo, i personally think Raven mode is a mix of:

something he had to create and don to get through the NSB and his work there

a completely real facet of himself and an inextricable part of who he is

some dissociation here and there

1 is easiest to explain because in a way, it's how i see Raven starting in the first place.

everybody has different sides to themselves, with some sides being specifically created for specific environments or to interact with certain people. like, how i act and behave at work is definitely different from how i act and behave online and it's also different from how i act and behave with friends or family. all still me, just a me thats more suited for a specific thing. i think thats how the Raven persona started out, another side of himself that luke created for a specific purpose, but under Much more extreme and intense circumstances.

Raven is luke's worksona, but his work regularly sees combat, danger, conflict, high stakes, life-or-death scenarios, and more. the previous sides of luke that he had were just not gonna cut it in this kind of environment. additionally, it was mentioned in SSR Peaceful Place that luke was younger than most trainees at the NSB, and i think that added to luke's need to construct and grow a side of himself that could weather all this. one that was the opposite of the kind bushy-tailed boy-next-door type he usually was. something stronger, colder, and more intimidating that could help him prove himself, help him keep up with everybody else, and then allow him go further and surpass everyone completely.

now 2 is where things get more speculative. i dont think Raven is a facade because i dont think it's fake.

i think it's real and part of who he is, and the biggest reason i think this is because of his route in the lost gold event

(.....take a shot every time i bring up lost gold on this blog kjhvHSVKDFHVDS)

im talking about luke's worry throughout his entire lost gold route about mc seeing how he gets when hes in Raven mode. how he sent her away so that she wouldnt see him threatening that dude, how he looked so regretful when she finally did witness Raven in action, how he was so worried and emphasized how he wants to be the type of luke that she likes when hes around her, not this side of himself thats cruel and cold and ruthless.

point is, through all of that, he was scared.

if it was a facade, just a fake mask, i dont think his anxiety over the whole thing wouldve been as pronounced. he couldve just said "hey im going to intimidate this guy", which he might still think would be worrying or upsetting to see, but it wouldnt be the end of the world. but his route didnt play out like that. this recurring anxiety over mc seeing an darker side of him (and the resulting resolution of mc still accepting and loving him in spite of that dark side) works best under the assumption that this dark side is him. a different part, yes, but still wholly and completely a true facet of luke pearce.

and it would make sense for Raven to be real. even if luke is a very warm and sunshiney person, he's also a person who has now experienced a lot of horrifying things. i wouldnt say hes jaded, but it would be a natural reaction to seeing the darkness of the world to also grow cynicism and skepticism from whence Raven can draw from. additionally, while Raven is primarily a soldier, the intent behind him is still ultimately a desire to protect people, and luke has a LOT of protective urges inside of him. the bedrock is there, it just needed extreme circumstances to be 'dressed up', so to speak, into the cold Raven persona we see in canon.

plus, the Raven side of him being a real part of him is....simply more interesting to me. luke is somebody who has a very strong devotion to people and the causes he believes in, but his methods to serve those things can go into grey areas because of the ferocity and cruelness that Raven is capable of. but luke is also somebody who has such a big existential worry and desire to Be Good, and him having a Real part of him that many would designate as Bad makes for a more interesting kind of internal conflict.

and internal conflict is also something important to Raven, because of...

the last bit, 3, how i like to think that the Raven mode has some flavors of dissociation (heads up, this is now past speculation and more well into the realm of headcanon HAHA)

dissociation is when somebody feels disconnected from what they are experiencing, thinking, or feeling and/or feeling disconnected from the environment or reality around them, and repeated/regular experiences of this to an unhealthy degree can be caused by traumatic incidents and...

those definitions are VERY MUCH SIMPLIFIED AND THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, and if you'd like to know more i highly recommend you read up more on it yourself!

...and luke has definitely been through Quite a lot of trauma. parents dying when he was a child + getting himself caught up in cutthroat government organization when he was just a teenager + the disastrous mission that killed everybody but him and definitely left him with survivor's guilt + his illness = thats a lot of trauma! three out of those four i mentioned happening during his NSB days in particular, happening while the Raven side was most likely being created.

when a person is constantly going through stressful and traumatic stuff like that, theres a possibility that they can dissociate. mentally disconnecting from the thing that is causing the distress, after all, feels safer. and Raven is a much stronger and powerful side of luke that exists that luke can reach for and become when things get Too Much.

i dont think luke is dissociating Every Time he goes Raven mode, but again, it's really interesting to think about actually happening (whether in already-happened canon moments or in future possibilities). it'd add more messiness and stakes to his internal conflict of wanting to be good but having a part of him thats 'bad', that sometimes the good sides of him cannot cope or handle certain situations, causing a disconnected feeling and once hes more back into his brain he'll realize that he just went on a chillingly effective rampage or something. it's also interesting to think about in terms of how shifts back from Raven mode, where maybe after particularly high stakes missions he just....hasnt shaken off the adrenaline yet. he still doesnt feel safe, it doesnt feel like the job is done, his demeanor is still silent and cold and serious, bracing for another attack or danger, and the side of him that logically knows that there is no more danger simply feels too far away right now for him to immediately decompress. luke's fear of this part of himself would pack more punch if there was an aspect of it that he cant particularly control just yet.

so yeah, those r my thoughts! thank you for the ask! :D

#asks #anon #me gripping hyv by the shoulders....i think luke shld have ptsd and some dissociative quirks after what hes been thru. but thats Just Me..#tears of themis #luke pearce

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wee-snek · 8 months

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Ok, but...trauma responses

(Content notice that there is discussion of trauma and reactions, non-specific mentions of sources of religious trauma. Read with care)

We can (and have, and will continue to) draw lots of parallels and comparisons to how Crowly and Aziraphale perceive Heaven and Hell and The System. I think it’s clear that both have been very frightened of upper management at various points, and both have felt the need to hide some of themselves from even their own side. The threats are real, the danger is real. Capital “T” trauma (you know, the kind that causes PTSD) is “an experience which is life-threatening or poses a significant threat to a person’s physical or psychological wellbeing”. Can’t really argue that that doesn’t very much apply to their entire millennia-long existence, their entire relationship, every single interaction they’ve had with each other, with their own side, with the other side, with Earth and humanity.

I’m definitely not an expert at religious trauma, but some themes there include trauma directly caused by a member of the church (someone in the church hurts you, but it’s not related to the religion), trauma being seen to compromise your spirituality (something bad happens and you feel your inclusion in the church or your relationship to your god is in danger) and gaslighting/victim blaming by the church (it’s all part of god’s plan, you must somehow deserve your punishment, etc).

Sound familiar?

Crowley and Aziraphale are both traumatized.

But they are coping in different directions.

Flight: “I don’t want to deal with this”

Fearful, avoidant.

Run away, deflect, withdraw, hide.

-vs-

Fawn: “I just want everyone to be happy”

Co-dependent, people-pleasing, rationalizing.

No boundaries, lack of assertiveness, can’t speak up for self, easily controlled.

Crowley falls into the Flight pattern. He’s stuck at “the system sucks and I want to pretend it doesn’t exist to the best of my ability” and when things get tough he literally wants to run away. He’s anxious and scared and puts up masks and barriers and walls as a way to hide and to try to make that anxiety and fear go away. Deflect, withdraw. Hide. AVOID.

Which, like, yeah, I fully get that? But avoidance without processing trauma is not actually a sustainable coping mechanism? And yelling at house plants isn’t actually therapy? Crowley is quite a bit more aware of and ready to admit that Heaven and Hell are both awful, but knowing that someone hurt you and processing what that means for you as a person and figuring out who you are and what you want because of and despite that hurt...yeah our little cinnamon roll isn’t there yet. And running away from the traumatizer, in this situation, means running away from quite a lot of other things as well. You can’t keep Earth and just avert your eyes from The System. And you can’t run away from The System without sacrificing Earth. (and by ‘earth’ I mean humanity and the universe but also one specific being that also happens to, until very recently, live on earth)

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is coping by Fawning. Because Heaven is the side of good, yes? Sure, there might be a few bad apples, yes, ok, but Heaven? Heaven is good. And surely GOD is good? Right? Like, ok, it’s not perfect, but I’m sure it’ll all come right in the end because deep down they (the abuser) love me and want what’s best for me and I just need to try harder and be better and then they won’t hurt/threaten me anymore.

Which, when you think about it, is pretty damn tragic. There are a lot of reasons why Aziraphale finds it harder to opt out of the system, even after Apocolypsn’t, but I feel like this is a big part of it. The traumatizer has done such a good job in framing themselves as ‘the good guys’ and Aziraphale is coping by trying to appease them, to rationalize their actions, to find the hidden nugget of ‘good’ in God’s plan even when he can’t see it, because it must be there, right? Somewhere, deep down, it all has to be ineffably good, right? Because what happens if that turns out to not be true?

So what does all this mean for them, and for their relationship?

Even though both of them can see that system isn’t perfect (with different degrees of acceptance of this imperfection) both of them still define themselves in relation to Heaven and/or Hell. We (the audience, the fans, Tumblr) know that they have personalities and qualities that exist separate from Heaven and Hell. But they are, both, in their own ways, still quite enmeshed with the system. Aziraphale’s identity is tied to appeasing his abuser, and Crowley’s identity is tied to opposing his abuser.

And as long as they view themselves through the lens of their individual relationships to the system, they will continue to view their relationship to each other through that lens as well. Which, honestly, doesn’t bode well and ends up pretty much exactly where we ended up in Episode 6.

I can’t see either of them actually going to actual therapy (no one in history has needed therapy more, but alas it does not fit the world-building or the story, and we probably won’t actually get to see Crowley on a therapist’s couch crying about sauntering vaguely downward and ‘you go to fast’) but they will need to some kind of character development in season 3 to at least start to change this dynamic. Being apart from each other might help. Aziraphale finally realizing that he’s good because of who he is, not because of his job, would be lovely to see. Crowley and Nina getting drunk together and him processing some Emotions out loud and having some Epiphanies would be great. I don’t know what it’s going to look like in-world, but I think the unsustainability of these coping patterns will need to be acknowledged and Michael and David will act their flawless little hearts out and we’ll get to see some Healing.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

#good omens #ineffible #ineffible husbands #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens 2 finale #good omens theories #good omens theory #go2 #sauntered vaguely downward #aziraphale #crowly x aziraphale #good omens spoilers

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fvriva · 9 days

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*gets real close to the mic* Yeah can I get the uhhhhhh

Ida?

(Exordium specifically)

for you, sir, it's on the house.

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Ida Sicari's name is derived from the Latin name for a type of recluse spider, Sicariidae. Fitting for a rogue/assassin-type themed after a spider.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

It's hard to say because I haven't totally nailed down elven aging yet, but she's young, Thrandy's age. He's 13, so let's call Ida 14.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

She's got a little crush on the royal she's charged with protecting, Elthrandor Sessamine. Her crush on them WILL cause problems in the future with her family.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Tough one because I haven't decided on the cuisine in Exordium yet. Post-curse, she develops all kinds of allergies to things she used to love eating, so she's not really vibing regardless. However, the food she misses the most is a very garlicky, vinegary, roast chicken with chili paste and honey.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

She's currently a royal bodyguard in a shambling kingdom. She's facing a lot of pressure from her crime family to betray her charge currently. In a modern au, Ida would probably find herself in a businesslike setting doing something unassuming, like accountant work.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

She likes racy literature, secretly. She can't read (it's a very rare skill in Musaphia) but she's got a secret stash of smutty audiobooks. She does lots of knife tricks and acrobatics to stay sharp. She also enjoys collecting musical lamaellograms and instruments (these she keeps in her room in the palace mostly), though she doesn't know how to play any of them.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Ida's observant, and possesses a healthy degree of skepticism. She's a competent fighter and very stealthy.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

She hates having anything to do with her family. They're annoying, don't respect her boundaries, and are always trying to get her to do dangerous, illegal, and morally suspect things. She also rather dislikes being out in unknown territory and other places where she's on unsure footing. Ida genuinely loves being near Thrandy and the other Sessamines, though, and wholeheartedly cares for them.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Uhh. Well, I feel like it probably would be something with Thrandy. Maybe she was in Thrandy's room listening to her play something on an instrument, giggling and laughing and eating snacks.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

I haven't fully fleshed it out yet, but I can imagine something akin to the nightmare she's given when she touches the cursed dagger of her brother, Goliath, morphing into some manner of monstrous creature as he tightened his grip on her. Shortly before U'tlunt'a was trapped by the Creature in the time loop, she was probably threatened by him in a similar way.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Ida's very first design was in an rp between @the-goblin-cat as Elthrandor and myself as a vampire version of Ida, wearing a very frilly school uniform. She still has the mask, mutated mouth, hair, and overall demeanor, but she's been dressed in clothing better for Musaphia and has a deeper purple skintone now.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

My single biggest inspiration was Rayne from the Webtoon Homesick, but this is pure vibes. There's also a particular brand of body horror I'm trying to tap into with her involving an unassuming girlish frame and a monstrous face for contrast. I can't think of any specific entries of it just now.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

I think she could be at home in a horror story, or a horror-slice of life. She doesn't HAVE to be an elf as she wasn't one originally, but she's currently kind of living in a dark fantasy.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Ida's a cis girl, and I don't know if she would know too much about her sexuality just yet because she's rather young, but Thrandy is genderfluid, so whatever that is, that's what she is.

�� - How many sibling does your OC have?

Ida is the family baby. She has 7 siblings, all members of the a gang that peddles a drug made from concentrated moonblood resin. They're all named after members of the Sicarius family of spiders.

The oldest is her brother Goliath and he's the kingpin of the group and a real bully.

Then there's her brother Valletano, who is disabled, plays the violin, and helps cover for his siblings. Ida has a good relationship with him.

Next oldest is her only sister Fumoso, who manufactures the product. She's kinda fruity about it. Decrepit. Very mutated.

Her next oldest brother is Ornato, who does the finances.

Twin brothers Cariri and Yurensi are both dream magic enforcers. Cairiri is a talented dream mage where Yurensi trained Ida to be an assassin like him.

The youngest, Jeqi-Tenho is in charge of distribution. He's only 3 years older than Ida is.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Ida never met them. They died shortly after she was born in a convenient and very tragic accident. She was raised by her siblings, but understands that on reputation they were honorable guardsmen.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

I think she looks very cool. I also am excited to do more spider mutation stuff with her. Simple needs with regards to Ida, really.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Not super often, though last year I did write a story about her and Thrandy seeking shelter in an ancient lighthouse in the middle of a desert.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I could, but I don't really know what I'm doing long-term with Exordium just yet.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Well, it was spiders...

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

I don't have one yet, but she's intended to be a foil for Nymra, Ellie's love interest in the Wickrath plot. I don't think they'd fight or anything though. They're both too awkward for that.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since 2021! 3 years now. Jeez.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

I suppose I was 21. Right as I started going back to school again if I'm not mistaken.

send me a character + an emoji (or order the WHOLE HOG)

#answered ask #the-goblin-cat #chesca.oc #exordium

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yenkat101 · 2 years

Text

Dating headcannons pt 3

25 post event. 2/25. -pt. 4 (Tetcho and Jouno)

Characters: (Fukuzawa x you) (Mori x you)

General: headcannons

Text type: Pine point

Warning: so far, none to mention expect Mori's yandere tendencies..

Master list

Yukichi Fukuzawa

- It is well known that Fukuzawa would most likely be a gentleman with his lover, I don't think that I really need to elaborate on why.. he would also be a serious and reserved lover (because that's his personality..)

-Honestly Fukuzawa wouldn't be touched starved.. as far as we know, Fukuzawa wasn't mentioned to have trauma and he's very reserved and serious.. so.. (if you're touched starved he'll try his best to help you..)

-Fukuzawa is one to treat almost anyone with his up most respect.. so expect to be treated with formal respect and have certain moments of wholesomeness..

-he isn't exactly the type to give out affection on a regular basis. but he does give head pats about 13% of the time.. but in private he does initiate PDA only a tad bit..

-honestly if you were ever to actually date him, he'd most likely be the one running the relationship.. why you may ask? Because he's honestly more of a leader then anything, not only that but he's also in favor to protect and take care of his lover (only to a certain content)

-if Fukuzawa had to crave a certain type of affection, it would be quality time and act of service.. because he's not really the type to be romantic.. Quality time and Act of service on the other hand is somewhat platonic.. Based on his opinion, Quality time and Act of service is more effective..

-asking you out and have difficulties? no, no, no... He'll straight up confess to you when the time's right (if the time is ever right)

-I Honestly think that Fukuzawa would be the type to prefer stay at home dates or if not, he likes going to calm serene places like perhaps a park or a very quiet but popular tea House.. that's if you go on regular dates.. but if it's a certain occasion such as anniversary or something important.. it would be a classic dinner party but isn't too formal at the same time..

-honestly after the fact that both of you are in a relationship he wouldn't be hesitant exactly.. because if the both are in a relationship, he's certain that you are loyal and you're the one that he wants to spend his forever with (Fukuzawa doesn't really like, somewhat wasting his time with someone he isn't happy with.. so if the both of your dating, Then it's most likely he'll marry you in the end)

-working with the Agency with Fukuzawa, this makes me more simple.. because if he's your boss then if you're ever stressed he can easily give you time off.. (not that he wouldn't do that to any of his employees) he's slightly worried because of the line of work, but he trusts your capability of protecting yourself (that doesn't mean he wouldn't protect you) it would also be easier to keep things casual (I think that's what's called) because he still has a reputation.. and.. it's easier to spend quality time together, because all you need to do is just go into his office and spend time with him.. so it's really a more of a plus then a minus..

-honestly he doesn't think much about you living with him.. of course he doesn't mind but he never considered it.. the only time he would ever ask you to live with him is if 1. You're in life threatening danger, 2. You need someone to take care of you mentally and physically, 3. In order to protect you, 4. The both of you are wed, and 5. The both of you are already married.. those are the only reason he would ask you to live with him.. you on the other hand could ask him after perhaps 6 to 9 months of dating each other (it could be even earlier if reason 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 correspond or even something more specific)

-trying to sleep in the same bed as Fukuzawa.. don't get me wrong you're very nice but there's only 5 reasons he would.. 1. You're one to freeze, 2. You have recurring nightmares, 3. You refuse to sleep and have insomnia, 4. You're sick and scared, and 5. The both of you are married and or, you asked politely enough to sleep in the same bed (and he somehow complies)

-Most of the time Fukuzawa would be big spoon.. not only because he likes taking the opportunity of wrapping his arms around you but it gives him a sense that he's protecting you at all times, even if you don't need it.. but once in awhile he'll become small spoon

-almost the only reason why he would be small spoon is if he's stressed, overworked, tired or sick other than that there isn't much of a reason why he would become small spoon

-honestly the type of affection Fukuzawa really likes, is arm hooking and embraces. Fukuzawa on the other hand, would give you those two things with the bonus of forward kisses.. so most of the time is very casual and wholesome..

-honestly jealousy isn't a problem within this relationship because he wouldn't date you if you weren't trustworthy.. but.. if Mori decides to start flirting with you, than that's a whole different situation.. It is going down, bring your popcorn! Because it's going to be amusing, the majority of the time..

-if you think very lowly of yourself, he's quite disappointed to say the least because he thinks there's nothing wrong with you.. but if it bothers you that much then he'll secretly organize something to bring up each other's morals (when is your turn everybody say something they like about your personality and your appearance) actually all the more quite nice.. you actually felt a little less insecure..

-Fukuzawa isn't exactly an awful cook, he's actually amazing not the best in the world obviously but he can make some pretty good things.. Honestly he wouldn't think much about improving his skills, because it's good just the way it is and you don't seem to complain about he's food at all.. if you cook for food for him, it will melt his heart, he wouldn't even have the guts to tell you is awful (if you don't know how to cook that is) and that little act is a reminder that he has someone special in his life..

-overall Fukuzawa in a healthy relationship, he would be very kind, serious, considerate and would be considered a gentleman.. he's not entirely touched starved and he respects your boundaries.. he would practically protect you at all costs and would most likely marry you (so before you consider him make your that you want to spend your forever with him) one of the most sanest boyfriend/girlfriend in BSD

Ogai Mori

- it is well known that when he's in a relationship he would be very manipulative, sadistic and would treat you as a Doll.. he's also very touchy and has episode where he acts like a yandere..

-honestly this man wouldn't be touched starved, but he does act like it... It is a well-known fact that he would all be all over you, because you're so dear to him.. Sometimes he would leave you alone in peace or he would be in your personal space 24/7..

-you really can't tell what's he's like in general because it's like he has 4 faces... 1. His clingy whiny self.. 2. His calm and slightly romantic self... 3. His disappointed and slightly stern self (mostly used to lecture you without scaring you off) 4. His sexually sadistic self... and 5. the one you don't regularly see, he's absolute furious self (he doesn't act like that in front of you because he doesn't want to scare you off)

-surprisingly he doesn't really give out affection.. is most likely the other way around, you must initiate affection to get him to give you affection... But there's some occasions that he would give you affection without any problems.. like if you're mostly strained or facing something negative... He may initiate affection first..

-it is in quite surprising, the boss of the Port Mafia, Ogai Mori would most likely be the one controlling the relationship.. not only that adds to his ego and superiority but it also makes it easier for him to get what he wants..

-honestly this would be surprising to most people around his social circle.. but he craves almost any sort of affection with you (in private, because one of the last things he wants to do, is to make you at risk) If you do something very cute that involves affection, he'll be all over you cooing you for being so adorable..

-Mori doesn't need courage to ask you out.. he just does it at the right time with the right planning.. and somehow you're crazy enough to say yes..

-I swear this man has two faces.. one moment he's acting like one of those single quirky tired dad's that want affection and bring you around town walking around with his quote and quote child then the next moment he's acting like a rich romantic man and bringing you to a fancy dining area..

-honestly there's not really much hesitancy within the relationship other than your own.. (if you have any that is) like if you are his darling.. then the word hesitancy doesn't really exist in his vocabulary.. like if he wants something from you, he does it.. no harm done, right? So the word hesitancy doesn't exist in his vocabulary.. so it's mostly up to you if you have hesitancy for whatever reason..

-working with the Port Mafia with Mori, well it's pretty obvious that you're working under him and you're probably not an executive... But let's get back to the question.. Since you work at The Port Mafia that means he's already the boss of you (yes he does take advantage of it) especially if your in a lower position.. if you're so fixated on still working for the pm then he'll let you.. ish.. I don't know why, but I see him at the time that just randomly pulling out of work for no reason whatsoever.. there's at least 3 reasons why you wouldn't somewhat fire you.. 1. His yandere tendencies, 2. Your safety, 3. Complications, such as pregnancy, illness, trauma, stress, ect (he may just do it because he wants you to be his adorable stay at home wife/husband)

-this man is all for living together because it makes it easier for him to 1. To Communicate with you whenever he wants 2. Insure your safety and 3. To see his adorable s/o's cute domestic home life.. (I'm talking about those wholesome moments where are you wake up all sleepy and still want to sleep.. *in he's eyes your absolutely adorable when you do that*)

-if you live with him.. then on the first night you're probably sleeping in same room as him.. because what's the fun of having you over and he won't be able to sleep with you.. that's just unamusing or at least in his opinion..

-most of the time Mori would be big spoon, He loves the feeling of you within his arms and likes cooing you.. Not only that, but it gives him a sense of superiority, he feels like he's protecting you and he knows for a fact that you're safe in his arms.. yes it is a matter of character that knows how dangerous the world is and wait for you to not be a part of it...

-the only way Mori would ever be a small spoon is when he's feeling like it.. like example, you offer your chest or your thighs as a pillow.. if he's in the mood then he would lay on it.. mind you his hands will 100% wander off.. Another reason that will least likely happen, is when Mori's in the hospital unit because he's injured himself.. he may or may not use you as a pillow with the excuse that you're more softer than the pillow..

-almost anything goes when it comes to affection.. like arm hooking, hand holding, embraces, hugs, kisses, cuddles, ect.. but those are only do when the both of you are in private or in the public and his disguise (his doctor attire.. the one he fooled Atsushi with..)

-Mori being jealous? There's not an AU that exist that Mori doesn't get jealous, especially relating to their partner.. like if he sees his Elise prefer to spend more time with you than him.. he'll pout and act like he's so depressed and needs affection but he looks more desperate than anything.. but if it's something serious, like a completely shady stranger flirting with you (a criminal gang leader, is what I'm referring to) his yandere tendency may or may not intervene.. we can all guess what would happen.. if it's something else that serious then he'll scare them off.. if they refuse however then he'll use his dirty method..

-if you think very lowly of yourself? He's not having it.. your his darling, it's impossible to worthless.. all of you belongs to him, why would you dare think lowly about yourself? If it's because of past trauma, he'll try to comfort you without triggering you my.. If it's because someone told you that then that person will be having a stern talk with him..

-he's honestly a decent chef.. not the best however.. but he's not the worse at it.. Mori wouldn't exactly improve for you because he's a busy man and all but sometimes he spends his time improving his skills... His heart flutters and skip a few beats.. he thought you looked absolutely adorable in a apron placing your home made food on the table.. he would certainly tease you about it.. with the line "awe.. your already preparing to be my little adorable house wife/husband"

-overall, Mori in a healthy relationship would be like... He's a gentleman, romantic, clingy, whiny, flirtatious, manipulative and mysterious.. he's not entirely touched starved but acts like it and he would be easily categorized in yandere.. he's also very protective and teasing as well..

25 post event with (Fukuzawa x reader) and (Mori x reader) 2/25.

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refriedrambles · 6 months

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Okay! Note for Gir Goes Crazy and Stuff

The voot changes size between shots, but it's definitely bigger then it's normally portrayed in general

GIR does love his animals

And back to the yelling

"Cows are my friends," whispering into Zim's ear like a little creep. "I don't like you." Coming in hard here Zim.

Operation Dookie isn't a bad plan, but I like how Zim's not realizing or upset about his name being synonymous with shit

Ooo a glimpse into GIR's head. Dancing weenies. How much of this is tv poisoning his brain and how much of this is being wired different

Okay so Zim's quite literally covered in shit on the way back I can get why he's so pissed, but he's keeping it mostly together

Did Zim make the behavioral modulator? Is it based off an existing piece of equipment?

"No more distractions GIR. Attack the human! This time on a dangerously high setting" Like lethal force or is this behavior modulator potentially damaging to GIR at the setting it's on now? Zim? Zim???

He keeps up the duties even after being forced into duty mode. Which is an interesting bit only because he always snaps out of duty mood when doing random shit. He can't shift gears here and I think that's what the eye twitch is about at the end of this scene. That energy's still building up and he can't effectively release it

Even in duty mood he's keeping up the yays and shit. He's being force to be serious and profession and he's still struggling

Zim's so excited when he thinks he fixed GIR and just loses all momentum.

Oh Squid Cop my favorite background human (Squid Cop for best henchmen 2023!)

GIR has so much info on humanity, he probably would have told Zim that was a cop car in his normal mode and still chased after it (with less damage in the process)

Zim is no longer keeping it together

Throws cop to the ground tied up in his own seat belt, "I have captured the enemy for meat testing. Praise me! PRAISE ME!!!" posing the entire time. He is copying Zim's behaviors here

Squid Cop point out aliens and begging for his life in the most cliche, but also some how funny way. "Please! I have a house and children and pets and a toilet- toilet children."

"Make silence now human." is a perfect line and no one can convince me otherwise

Zim experimenting on random children in his free time checks out. Why the happiness centers of his brain specifically? No one, but Nick will know

"With all due respect, you must know the SIR unit code enables freewill in the event that the mission is threatened. This police human was a threat." Very very interesting line here but dude this whole interaction is great.

"You dare tell ME what I already know?!" "Did you know that?" Zim's gonna popped a blood vessel and just lashes out with "Your legs are stupid!" cause he still thinks GIR isn't gonna get it if he tries to explain that yes in fact he did know that

This is all ignoring the fact that said police human would not have been a threat if Zim hadn't ordered GIR to check out the noise or if GIR had put on his disguise before he jumped outside

Duty mode GIR is still just as defective as before

Look the problem in this episode is even after Zim traps GIR in a state of focus that is highly stressful for the bot continues to treat him like he's stupid and he isn't really to begins with. Normally he'd be able to move on let the insults and slights slide off of him, but now. Now he's forced to focus on them. Let them linger in his head because his programming is forcing him to. Especially given who's saying it. He goes into duty mode when he's given orders. Zim's words carry a lot of weight for the bot even if he might not want them too

Zim's probably heard all this shit thrown at him countless times, it's his norm, he knows how to cope. GIR does not

You just don't like him my guy. He's not wrong that switching this guy's brain is in fact a huge waste of time, but he IS being more of a dick then usual

Like GIR's fighting himself on calling Zim here sir and I definitely think it's more because of how he's being treated then what Zim's actually doing. GIR gathering intel from broadcasts isn't even a bad idea even if he was actually functional. In his normal state it kinda good idea, it keeps GIR occupied and away from what Zim might be working on. But like its also why he knows way more about earth and humans then Zim does. It's what typically works the best

GIR's "purpose" and him feeling like his potential is being wasted, who's that remind me of?

I feel like I've done notes on this episode before and came to a very strong (to me at least) conclusion, that I'm now very bias towards and that is likely tainting this batch of notes. But oh well

BUT LIKE AM I WRONG THO??? His threat assessment is off, he's running into things without necessarily thinking them thru (to the extent that the one thing he consistently remembers in his normal state, the dog suit, is completely forgotten), he needs praise, HE DEMANDS PRAISE, he's using the same insult Zim threw at him, everything is about the mission! But nothing is REALLY about the mission. There's this need to prove himself worthy of existence and Zim's attempts to alter and change GIR likely isn't that different to the robot to the threat of deletion. Something as flawed as Zim thinking GIR is broken must mean something is seriously wrong, right? The blow up, the frustration, and turning on Zim? That's self preservation. I don't think GIR hates Zim anymore then Zim hates GIR in this. And I don't believe Zim hates GIR, he might view him as a nuisance, or an obstacle, or even a test, but he could simply just shut the robot down. You know, if he did hate him

Zim is soft underneath everything. Specifically towards his minions, but he doesn't know how to treat them, because no one's treated him right

GIR's fear is being expressed as frustration and rage in the same way Zim typically presents his if he can help it. But there is absolutely some resentment towards Zim from how he's being treated too

I'm going in circles here

This is a stupidly high tech library

"I'm sorry, you have two disks overdue. We'll have to confiscate your retinas." The most annoyingly pretentious laugh leading into a "hmmn" as GIR beats down the door. Lady's got the biggest smile the whole time. Love this line

Her. Unhinged legend. She just goes with it.

This show is perfect. And I especially love the minor characters in this episode

Poor Squid Cop and his existential crisis. (Squid Cop for best henchmen 2023!)

Zim is just like 'I'm a cop now. No one can stop me.' Then immediately 'wtf happened here?!'

GIR is curious to begin with combined with the mission directive and his copying of Zim's behaviors, none of this is a surprise. I really like that he's still using Zim verbiage.

Squid cop just immediately trying to help Zim when he's asked is wonderful

You can't just curse snacks Zim! It goes against everything the Tallest stand for!

WHO SAVED THE DAY?! WHO STOPPED ZIM FROM BEING VIOLENTLY MURDERED BY GIR?! HMMM?! HMMMMMMMMM?!!?!?! (shaking you wildly)

But I do think when GIR says he didn't like being Zim's servant he meant that at least in the moment. Mostly from the stuff he experience while stuck in duty mode, but likely from some stuff before that too. Zim doesn't treat GIR right. I know. He knows too, to some extent, he typically backs off if there are tears because that's how he knows he went too far. But I also think Duty mode was forcing GIR to focus on the negatives, the imperatives and the mission directives. The only fulfillment his code was allowing was that which aligned with his "purpose".

We were robbed of the galactic space battle with Squid Cop. (Squid Cop for best henchmen 2023!) It's truly a crushing blow for humanity. I sob at night thinking of what could have been...

Idk man these are rough notes. A little more polished then normal, but I still haven't really put my thoughts together

Zim keeps his word more often then I'd really expect him to

And I love how Squid Cop turns purple

bye

#refriedramblings #self notes

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starhvney · 1 month

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𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | you can find the masterlist here!

hi! if you want to make a request, here’s what you should know.

before we get into specifics, just a quick side note for you!

please don’t hold back out of shyness or nervousness if you want to message me! i’m pretty anxious, especially when it comes to talking with strangers on the internet (usually it seems to be the opposite for a lot of people). just know that i won’t bite if you want to even message me hi or tell me something random! if i don’t understand your prompt, i’ll direct message you for clarification. the only time i won’t respond is if you’re being rude, you spam me, or the request goes against my “guidelines” for what i write. i will just ignore you.

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑?

i will write both platonically and romantically for the men, and just platonically for the women! this applies to any of the characters in the mystreet or diaries universe. if there’s a character i don’t know well, i’ll still try my best to write them for you!

i will try to keep most characters in character, however some aspects might be rewritten to make them less… goofy or problematic?

a few examples:

i think garroth in the mystreet series going from smooth and suave to loosening up and becoming more loving and cheery was a cute development. however, turning him into a complete himbo idiot was a complete crime in my opinion.

i’ll write “kawaii~chan” as nana ashida. while her character arc of acting cute to stand out is really good, the name “kawaii~chan” is… well. you know.

another broader example is the whole aphmau can’t have a normal platonic relationship without the character falling in love with her deal…just no. and the potato nickname…

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄?

i will write in both the mystreet universe and the diaries universe. i know there were other spin-offs and series on aphmau’s channel, but i never watched them, so i can’t write for those. sorry!

i’ll write headcannons, fluff, hurt/comfort, spice, and angst. just know that when it comes to angst i don’t like to torture myself anymore than life already does, so it won’t be written without a happy ending or a hopeful open ending.

i might be open to writing nsfw, but if you’re young please don’t make that kind of request to me! it will make me uncomfortable. i can try and tell you not to read it too, but i know i obviously can’t stop you. i also read smut when i was fifteen. what i will say is that when it comes to that sort of thing, be very careful of who you talk to on the internet and what you’re reading! you can’t unread or unsee what you expose yourself to, and innocence is a precious thing. you should protect the peace that comes with it and don’t feel pressured to destroy it just because everyone else does. the internet can be a dangerous place. that being said i am a twenty year old woman writing fanfics about minecraft on tumblr, but i hope you take my advice seriously.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐀𝐁𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄.

• gore. i don’t mean i won’t write about major injuries or violence, but explicit and over the top stuff in detail is too much for me.

• nonc*n. i find it very odd, and do not condone anyone reading or writing it. i may write antagonists who threaten it, but no character in my works or the ‘reader’ will experience it.

• anything inappropriate that has to do with minors or family members. same thing. if you’re into that you’re sick in the head and need help. i won’t hold back on saying that. it’s not normal or natural and it is most certainly not attractive.

• i won’t entertain any kind of gross or dark fetishes. period.

• obviously i also won’t write hateful things about any group or type of person, but i find it unnecessary to even say that, as it’s a given and the bare minimum standard everyone should have as a person.

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓?

honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. you can request anything from the character and the genre you want or a full on prompt/scenario you want me to elaborate on! just be patient on my responses, as i’m sadly an adult with responsibilities.

the only thing that i ask is that you don't spam me with a bunch of vague prompts all at once! i don't mind someone who has requested before making more requests later on, but spamming me "write for this character." and "write for this character romantically even though you said you don't write romantically for them." within seconds of each other is really not cool. remember i'm a person and not a bot who fulfills your requests!

#requests #asks #aphmau #mystreet #minecraft diaries #x reader #mcd x reader #mystreet x reader

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starry-blue-echoes · 2 years

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No thoughts, head empty, just the aids Jotaro would need in the Vampiric AU to be able to live his life normally-

Given what we know from Part 2, it seems to be specifically UV Light which is the dangerous one instead of all light coming from the sun, and luckily for Jotaro, UV light can be blocked. Given the right set up and resources, which won’t be a problem because Joseph has a lot of money and wouldn’t hesitate to help out, he should be able to live his life at least semi normally

First off, if there are going to be any windows in the house they’ll have to be replaced by ones which block all UV radiation in order for them to be safe. There will probably be a bit of a testing phase to see how much UV is too much and how much Jotaro can handle. Maybe Holly could even have a sort of greenhouse type attachment put onto the house with the special glass so Jotaro can experience light and warmth safely

Secondly, for when Jotaro does go outside, he’s going to need some specialized clothing. At the very least his current outfit already works really well for sun coverage and only needs a couple changes, aside from changing the fabric. Probably something to keep the sleeves down around his wrists, and definitely some kind of long, thick gloves for his hands. He’s also probably going to need a hoodie for his head, ofc with his trademark hat, and some kind of face covering alongside some eye-wear

Daytime Stand Fights are now going to be a LOT more dangerous and risky for him. Blunt force is the safest, but any kind of cutting, burning, or anything that could damage the fabric could be crippling at best and lethal at worst. At the very least he has his new speed and strength to help out, and if we really want to go with Anime Logic, Dio’s clothes seemed to heal alongside him. So in that case, as long as Jotaro gets into some shade to heal, he’ll be mostly fine, albeit with the healing delayed because UV Wounds Are A Bitch To Heal From

Age wise Jotaro probably wouldn’t have many issues. He barely changes between Stardust and Diamond, and given his size and demeanor he’d likely be able to convincingly pass as a human. Age being an issue would only begin to arise as he gets older and older and no noticeable changes have happened to him. However, I don’t think it would be that difficult for the Speedwagon Foundation to give him a new legal identity.

And finally, my favorite part of it, the diet :)

Or to be more specific, his lack of. Jotaro likely wouldn’t be able to eat most human foods anymore. It’ll either accomplish nothing and just fill his stomach, or it will make him sick because his body wouldn’t recognize it as food and would reject it. The closest substitute to humans that he could consume would likely be very undercooked red meats, but from a moral and trauma stand point he would probably only eat sparingly because if the implications of what it meant and his PTSD from Dio

What if this makes Jotaro a weird mix of skinny and still very muscular. He’s still positively built, but now theres not much else to his frame other than that. It looks almost hollow in some places, and after a couple years you can easily count the sides of his ribs. His stomach area grows abnormally skinny and his spine protrudes out the back. He’s so clearly unhealthy and feels so ravishingly starving, yet the thought of consuming anything threatens to make him loose the little food he has eaten

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brightsuzaku · 1 year

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So, I Have Space Freighters: Part 2

So, you read Part 1, did ya? (If not, here is PART 1.) Well, now you know that old fleet of absolute dumbass freighters are just stupid enough to work, and do so with surprisingly few problems.

They were not made to be that hot at anything but moving cargo from Point A to B! They’re doing fantastic, and after thinking too hard about they work, I can no longer so easily joke about them.

WE'RE IN SPACE. Unless another ship suddenly explodes in front of a freighter, creating a debris field and causing a major backup, the freighters will be fine! Unless a space skirmish happens nearby leaving tons of awful junk floating around, the freighters will be fine. Unless Something Exceptionally Science-Fictional happens, like a moon or planet exploding, the freighters are gonna be fine!!!

If there's no large debris involved, then my "Big Stupid Freighters" are quite super effective at actually moving stuff through space with as little intervention or manual rerouting as possible!

So WHERE do these ships get their reputation as the stupidest, slowest, ships of all time and become the butt of every joke?

Well, as it so happens, The Other Actual Issue of so-called "route blocking" is usually NOT due to debris! It's other ships. It's all your fault, y'all.

You smart, beautiful, well-meaning, wonderful people. You feat of engineering! Oh, you galactic trailblazer, you! That's right, it's all your fault.

The freighters get their poor reputation SPECIFICALLY because other ships just happen to find themselves in the way of the freighter. In that case, the other party simply must move, instead.

So, it's an example of anecdotal evidence that people think these are the "stupidest f*cking ships in known space", and PERHAPS THEY ARE, but they aren't actually as ineffective as popular culture tends to believe.

Anyway, space freighters make a great punching bag for other ships that hate their jobs and act like small tyrants, because I dunno, being a spaceship isn't all fun and warp factor 5's or whatever.

That’s right, the funniest other thing my best friend and I have come up with is the idea that spaceships can and do exude powerful “middle manager” small tyrant energy.

Some of them do it simply because they aren’t ~great important ships~, and do not command much respect, but they DO control the airlocks. They will threaten to space you! They will be petty as all get out! They will try to lord over you with what power they legally can get away with outside of outright murder!

These ships are people, and they can probably get in a lot of trouble for that last one, so usually they’re going to at least threaten to space you. Show you how easily they can make stuff woosh out from the exterior of a safely-closed airlock.

Or, they will simply do the very bare minimum of their job, and they are not going to “serve” you. I mean, why overstep the boundaries and expectations of your role, when all you are is Tired?

I mean, when push comes to shove, Sunbeam really did her part in ensuring that her passengers and crew could be as safe as possible, but that was Actual Life-Threatening Danger. Most of the time, she is just cheekily doing only the bare minimum of her duty, with all the vim and vigor of someone who thinks it’s kind of funny to see humans get annoyed about things they really cannot fault her for not doing.

The idea that all ships feel a great Sense of Duty and Responsibility for their role, their mission, and keeping people safe? Yeah, that’s all high ideals, bud, and you’ve got ships that are gonna lean real hard into it like they’re in the Space Scouts! On the other hand, you’re also gonna get ships that have survived years of what feels like ground-down retail hell, and are Very Tired of people bothering them with the same questions every flight.

Thanks for coming to my dipships in space talk.

#oh i did not properly introduce Sunbeam #she is a gem of a ship #You Are Blocking My Route #spaceships as people #longpost #text post #brightsuzaku #modified from a thread on twitter

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desmondkane-of-ao3-fame · 1 year

Note

you think hunter got off to easy but not lilith?

NOTE: This is a long, rambly, very unedited post. A post I made that I've completely rewriten three times. At this point, I just want to finish this. It starts off simple enough, then dovetails into a rant about Any Sport, then sorta gets back on track. I'm tired, and just want to put this question to rest. TLDR, yes I do. Want more? Please read on.

I have gotten three variations of this qustion since I wrote the post about my thoughts on Hunter, which you can read here if you haven't. In short, I don't care for Hunter or Huntlow, and the line this specific bit is reffering to is this: His redemption arc, despite supposedly taking up about 5 episodes, is the biggest mess the show’s ever had, filled with Hunter doing actions that would make Agony of a Witch Lilith call overkill and yet facing 0 pushback. And, to be honest, I stand by this position.

For starters, Hunter is presented as much more of a genuine threat from the very start. Lilith is more of a nuisance to Eda throughout the first season, trying to bring Eda to the EC so she can both be healed of her curse and prove herself the superior sister in the most petty ways possible. As a high-ranking member of the EC, it's likely she's commited more blatently evil acts off-screen, and I do wish the show explored that, but from all we see on-screen, Lilith isn't really 'evil' so much as 'pathetic'.

But what about Agony, when Lilith DOES do evil stuff?

Well, in Lilith's fifth apperance, she kidnaps Luz, almost gets her killed by dangling Luz over dangerous terrain, and, in the next episode is indirectly the reason Luz loses the portal when she blows it up to keep it out of Belos's hands.

The thing is... Hunter does all of that.

In his first voiced appearance, he threatens Luz, Eda, and King by dangling the first two over dangerous terrain. In his third appearance, he captures Luz. And in his fourth appearance, he is directly responsible for Luz being unable to go home when he takes the portal key from Amity. He also attacks Amity when she offers him help, uses Luz's life as a bargaining chip thus betraying any friendship they may have gained in 'Hunting,' and later kidnaps four children that he plans to take rip away from their families so that he brand them (his words) and force into becoming peons for a fascistic cult, which, ya know, bit dicey, not very PC I'd argue.

But what about cursing Eda?

Here's where I talk about the part where Lilith doesn't actually get off as easy as people like to make out. Because here, things happen to Lilith that never happen to Hunter: characters acknowledge her shit, and Lilith directly accepts a fitting punishment for her crime.

During her rescue mission to the Emperor's Castle, Luz is more then happy to try and at least incredibly hurt Lilith during their fight. It isn't until Lilith not only admits she deserves Eda's fate, not only explains what happened, but also reveals she saved Owlbert, that Luz is willing to side with Lilith. And later, when Lilith is about to be petrified alongside Eda, the latter would have gladly torn her to shreds without even asking why she's there if King hadn't stopped her. And when the group escapes, Lilith decides to take on half the curse herself so that she can save Eda, suffering the same fate as her sister. It's not going to make Dante Basco jelous he couldn't play such a deep and complex redemption, but honestly, I think it works for a single episode arc, and does satisfy my need to see Lulu face justice.

Hunter, meanwhile, doesn't really have that.

After 'Eclipse' you'd think 'Oh, Hunter's really in for it now!' Like, the Hexside crew would treat him as an 'Attack on Sight' threat. Especially Luz, given he betrayed her trust, threatened her girlfriend, and stole her best chance of getting home. 'Eclipse' should have served as Hunter's 'Agony,' the episode Hunter has to redeem himself from before anyone in the Hexsquad is willing to trust him.

Instead, we get 'Any Sport,' the episode where he, again, kidnaps a team of kids he's known only for an afternoon to force them into the EC. And in fairness, both Skara and Gus are at least a little peeved off about the whole afair. Except then Hunter turns to Willow to see her explain the other Entrails should be cool with this and...*

A brief reminder that Willow got Clover from saying she wanted to defend her friends, is arguably the most powerful of the Hexkids in terms of raw magical strength, knows about what Hunter's done to her friends, and has been shown as deeply hurt and angry when it comes to sudden betrayal by 'friends' before, to the point it becomes a magic power amplifier. Willow should by all accounts be so livid about all of this that she at least tells Hunter 'Actually, you're a prick and I don't really get why you think I would be down for any of this.'

Instead, she just crawls into corner and blames herself. Literally. Saying that Hunter kidnapping them all is her fault because she 'made a bad call.'

Which... is a thing that could, potentially, maybe, make some form of sense from both a character and story perspective. If I, ya know, bash my head into the concrete a little and squint until I go blind.

That tangent aside, Hunter then decides to let them go because Steve mentions their Palismen will be used for medecine for Belos*, and once he helps the Entrails not die at the hands of Darius,** Willow is so cool with him that she later proudly shows off the fact she's now friends with Hunter despite knowing that both Amity and Luz are clearly mortified by this.

And then... nothing.

No on-screen discussion about how Luz or Amity feels about Hunter, or scene where the show acknowledges maybe he did some bad stuff in the past unless it's just there to make you feel bad for him. Luz is now just completely cool with the guy who threatened Amity because he kidnapped Willow but also let her go later so-

See, that's what I mean. The show takes it that Hunter's redemption should just be a given to the audiance by now to the point Luz doesn't seem to care about the fact he's the same dude who stole her one way home. Instead, she want's to redeem him. No internal conflict about how to feel or justified anger about anything Hunter did to her or Amity, just the show deciding that letting a few kids go after kidnapping them is enough justification for Luz to not be upset by that.

Lilith actually faced consequences in losing her magic and taking on half the curse to save the one she cursed, and had the extra help of major characters actually being upset about what she did to them. Hunter, meanwhile, doesn't face anything after 'Eclipse' aside from Gus and Skara's condemnation for 2 seconds, and never has to even apologize for the whole 'assaulting Amity' or 'stealing the key' bit on screen.

And that, THAT, is why I say that Hunter did, in fact, get off lighter then Lilith.

*Also, if Hunter knew enough about friendship in 'Hunting' to know taking Luz in would be not friendly, why does he now believe that backstabbing people is the highest sign of friendship? Because Coven Heads do it? That doesn't ever actually get shown on screen, and the one time the Coven Heads DO betray each other is when Raine tries to kill Darius and Ebberwolf in 'Requiem,' which did not seem to be taken by Kikimora as a friendly jesture.

**Also also, this never made sense to me: Why doesn't Darius just... let them escape on the ship? Pretend he's so invested in Pensta that he doesn't notice Skara stealing the Palismen, letting them fly away, and just acting like it's not worth tracking them down? And when they later escape, was he just... gonna kill a bunch of children? You can say he wasn't but he seems pretty intent on doing so, and there's literally no reason to not just pretend you were too injured to fight? Why make a giant Abomination and cut down massive vines, seeming to be pretty invested in the idea of gutting Willow alive?

#maybe not my best work #idc #it's done #i can put this to rest #later

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goddamnwebcomics · 1 year

Note

Alright. So what are the best character designs you've encountered in a webcomic? It can't all be bad.

Oh sure, this time I'll go in no particular order. Let me start with the most obvious.

1. Matt from Gene Catlow

I may be biased but Matt is a character design masterpiece, he's got a simple yet effective design that captures his personality as a self-serving schemer. His appearance is very much inspired by Cassius from Kimba the White Lion, making him appear as a vicious panther-like cat as opposed to Gene's tomcat design. Matt is also sexy despite not being conventionally attractive, but part of that is thanks to the wide range of emotions Matt goes through. He is the most emotional character in this comic, and his expressions come off as natural due to how flexible his face is. He can look adorable in one panel and scary as hell in the next. You can tell Albert put a ton of care in Matt's design. It didn't start out perfect, hell, it didn't even look like him at all, but eventually, he became the design masterpiece he is now.

2. Dr. Universe from Spinnerette

While Krawniverse is an annoying objectivist self-insert, I think he has a great design. The mad scientist look that is eyecatching from the get go. He also does look somewhat like a normal human being when he's in a civilian outfit, but he looks so much more interesting as the mad scientist. I went with the black jacket he wore at the beginning of Fat Spinny arc as my favourite look for him.

Demikhov does also deserve a shoutout for being a russian remix of Universe's design.

3. N.O.S. from Console Girl

Of course the best character from Console Girl also has the best design, it really sucks that every other console's design prioritizes author's fetishes or cosplay instead of giving them an unique outfit that have the colors of console on the forefront. N.O.S. not only looks great, she can go from elegant to psychotic in the blink of an eye. Her grey skin also makes more sense than with Vibibi because it's part of the CONSOLE's color. She also looks oddly cute when she doesn't do the mad eyes.

4. Sir Ari from Kit n Kay Boodle

It's a snake with a top hat. Sometimes less is more.

5. Celesto Morgan from Dominic Deegan

This is another biased choice but of all the characters in Deegan Celesto has the best design, he has a consistent hairstyle and his design is the perfect foil for Deegan. He started off as Szark/Lady Szark's lover who later became the truth-spitting edgelord we all know and love. I also like how his eyes glow black instead of white, which probably fits the seers more. Anytime shit is about to go down Celesto will show up, but he also might show up to bang some chick.

6. Stealth from Alien Dice

Yes, Stealth is also in the best design list, more specifically her old design. Even if Tiffany has learned to draw the new Stealth, the old design is just so much superior. I think Stealth's old design may be my favourite of all the dice designs as rest of them are either malformed animals or discount Digimon. She looks like what you expect alien cat to look like with green large eyes, two tails and hypnotic fur pattern. Can you imagine what the evolved forms would've looked like if she never got whitewashed? Just...keep the human hair out.

7. Alejandra Coldthorn from Las Lindas

Chalo's art and Las Lindas as a whole peaked during Alej's revenge, originally she was just another big booby cow with tight office clothes but when she plotted the insane scheme of ruining Mora's life she became both fashionable and threatening at once. I love her brown jacket and her much more menacing demeanor. Makes you think she's gonna play the World's Most Dangerous Game with Las Lindas residents. Of course that didn't last long, but damn, Alej was so fun to watch during this time and her design here was the cherry on top of the cake.

8. Bloodcrow from Spinnerette

We end on another Spinnerette character. Bloodcrow is a tragedy because when he isn't wearing that stupid Birdman of Alcatraz mask he looks actually really sexy even with his facial scars. He's also built great like damn. Now I kinda wish I could riff that porn co-OKAY I STOP.

#article thingy

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scotttrismegistus7 · 1 year

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Watch "Found Bush" on YouTube

youtube

SERIOUS WORLD SITUATION:

INTERNATIONAL BANKERS, ISRAELI GOVERNMENT, ADL, AND WORLD LEADERS:

DOING THIS BLOG I DO AS A HOBBY, I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLED ONTO SOMETHING VERY SERIOUS, AND I WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT. SO THIS IS A SERIOUS POST AND I AM NOT JOKING ABOUT WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY, SO PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY BECAUSE WE DEFINITELY HAVE A SITUATION THAT AFFECTS THE WHOLE WORLD HERE.

THIS WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BY SOMEONE IN ONE OF THE MAJOR INTERNATIONAL BANKING FAMILIES, THROUGH SPIRITUAL FORCES THAT DELIVERED THE MESSAGE TO ME, WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS, BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW EVERYBODY INVOLVED IN THIS MAY POTENTIALLY BE UNDER THE THREAT OF POTENTIAL VIOLENCE IF THEY SPEAK ABOUT IT, SO THEY NEED SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT INVOLVED DIRECTLY TO SPEAK ABOUT IT FOR THEM SO THAT IT KEEPS THEM OUT OF DANGER. ALSO, IT IS A SITUATION WHERE OTHER MEMBERS OF THAT BANKING FAMILY MAY NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, AS WELL AS THE OTHER INTERNATIONAL BANKERS AND PEOPLE IN GOVERNMENT IN GENERAL. I WILL GET THE WORD OUT WITH THIS BLOG POST, SO THAT HOPEFULLY THE RIGHT PEOPLE WILL SEE IT AND BE ABLE TO KNOW WHAT TO DO. THE DEAL WE HAVE HERE IS VERY SIMPLE, BETWEEN THE TWO SIDES I WILL SIDE WITH THE LEARNED ELDERS AND THE OTHER INTERNATIONAL BANKERS, AND I WILL USE MY SPIRITUAL RESOURCES TO HELP THEM WITHIN REASON AND GET THIS MESSAGE OUT THAT NEEDS TO BE RELEASED, AND IN RETURN, SINCE I HAD MY SPIRITUAL AWAKENING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIFE, AND THE FIRST PART OF MY LIFE WAS REALLY AWFUL, EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LITTLE BETTER NOW, THEY WILL HELP ME TO HAVE THE BEST LIFE I POSSIBLY CAN WITHIN REASON FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE THIS TIME AROUND. I DON'T HAVE ANY SPECIFIC REQUESTS, JUST COMMON SENSE, AND THEY PROBABLY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT EVEN BETTER THAN I DO HONESTLY. THE OTHER THING IS THAT IF THE SPIRITUAL FORCES I REPRESENT AND I SIDE WITH THE BANKING FAMILIES AND THEIR TEAM IN GENERAL, THEN THEY NEED TO DO SOMETHING TO ADDRESS THE SITUATION OF DISPROPORTIONATE WEALTH TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE ARE FALLING THROUGH THE CRACKS AND STARVING IN THE STREETS. THEY NEED TO INSTITUTE SOME KIND OF PROGRAMS TO MAKE SURE THAT IN A REASONABLE WAY EVERYBODY IS TAKEN CARE OF AND IT DOESN'T GET SO DISPROPORTIONATE THE PEOPLE GET HURT UNREASONABLY, OKAY? GOOD, NOW LET'S MOVE ON AND I'LL EXPLAIN SOME THINGS WITH SOME BACKSTORY.

THE SITUATION I STUMBLED UPON IS WHAT I WOULD CALL A COMPLETE AND TOTAL S*** SANDWICH. I CHOSE THE YOUTUBE VIDEO I DID FOR THIS POST BECAUSE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO HIDE IT OUT AND PLAY WITH GEORGE W. BUSH IN HIS TREE HOUSE! THERE COULD BE AN UNANNOUNCED WORLD WAR III TYPE SITUATION GOING ON RIGHT NOW THAT ALL BUT A VERY SELECT FEW PEOPLE DIRECTLY INVOLVED KNOW ABOUT, AND CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT, BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING THREATENED.

I'M GOING TO TRY AND EXPLAIN THIS WITH THE CONCEPTS OF THE AMERICAN RIGHT WING AND THE AMERICAN LEFT WING IN POLITICS. HAS ANYBODY NOTICED WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON WITH KANYE WEST AFTER HE MADE THOSE ANTI-SEMITIC REMARKS? HAS ANYBODY PUT TOGETHER THAT KANYE WEST IS AN OUTSPOKEN TRUMP SUPPORTER? THESE THINGS ARE LINKED. AS FAR AS I KNOW, MOST AMERICAN ELECTIONS ARE ALREADY DECIDED BY AT LEAST AN 80% PROBABILITY BEFORE THEY EVEN START BY OUTSIDE FORCES PULLING STRINGS TO GET THE CANDIDATES THEY WANT INTO OFFICE. MOST OF THE TIME, IT IS JUST GENERAL BIG MONEY FROM THE BANKING FAMILIES AND GROUPS IN GENERAL. THEY MOSTLY PUT LEFT-WING CANDIDATES IN OFFICE, BUT SOMETIMES RIGHT-WING AS WELL.

DURING THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE BETWEEN HILLARY CLINTON AND DONALD TRUMP, SOMETHING WAS VERY DIFFERENT. THERE WAS ANOTHER POWER BESIDES THE NORMAL POWERS THAT PULL STRINGS AND PUT PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE, THAT WAS PULLING STRINGS TO TRY AND GET TRUMP ELECTED INTO OFFICE. SO WHAT YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, IS WHO THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE, BECAUSE WHOEVER THAT IS WOULD HAVE TO BE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO CHALLENGE EVEN THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING FAMILIES WITH ALL THE MONEY AND INFLUENCE THEY HAVE. SO WHO WOULD BE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO PUT A CANDIDATE INTO OFFICE AGAINST THE WILL OF THE BANKING POWERS, AND HOW ARE THEY DOING IT?

MY FIELD OF EXPERTISE IS SPIRITUALITY, AND I HAVE STUDIED NEARLY EVERY MAJOR WORLD RELIGION, AS WELL AS A LOT OF ESOTERIA, INCLUDING THINGS LIKE THEOSOPHY AND H.P. BLAVATSKY, AS WELL AS THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM WALKER ATKINSON, WHO IS SAID TO HAVE WRITTEN THE KYBALION. MY SPIRITUAL EXPERTISE IS HOW I WAS ABLE TO IDENTIFY WHAT WAS GOING ON. YOU HAVE TO LOOK BEYOND POLITICS TO THE SPIRITUAL SIDES OF EACH OF THESE GROUPS, AND I'M GOING TO SPEAK FREELY BECAUSE THIS MESSAGE NEEDS TO GET TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE. ON THE LEFT, WHICH IS THE SIDE I USUALLY SIDE WITH IN ELECTIONS, AND WITH THE BANKING FAMILIES, IT IS MAINLY, BUT NOT ENTIRELY, JEWISH INFLUENCE. ON THE RIGHT, WITH THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT HAS HAPPENED STARTING WITH THE TRUMP ELECTION AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THERE IS A NEW PLAYER IN THE GAME OF A SPIRITUAL NATURE.

I AM GOING TO SAY RIGHT NOW THAT AS FAR AS I KNOW, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POPE FRANCIS, I THINK HE AND HIS OFFICE HAVE BEEN HIJACKED. ALSO, TO AVOID ANY UNNECESSARY CONSPIRACY THEORIES, THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE NAZIS, NEO-NAZIS, OR THE GERMANS IN GENERAL.

THE OTHER PLAYER IN THE GAME IS THE JESUITS, WHO REPRESENT THE EXTREME FAR RIGHT AND THEIR OWN INTERESTS. I NEED TO POINT OUT, THAT WHEN I WAS DOING RESEARCH ABOUT THE JESUITS LOOKING FOR POTENTIAL MOTIVES, I NOTICED THAT THEY HAVE GOTTEN IN TROUBLE FOR SUBTERFUGE IN GOVERNMENTS AROUND THE WORLD BEFORE, AND THEY ARE BASICALLY THE MILITARY GROUPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. THEY ARE HEADED BY AN ELECTED LEADER, THAT MANY KNOW AS THE BLACK POPE, WHO IS SAID TO BE POTENTIALLY THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN THE ACTUAL POPE.

I HAVE STRONG REASON TO BELIEVE, WITH THE EVIDENCE PRESENTED FROM THE DOCUMENTARY ABOVE TOP SECRET, PLUS MY OWN SOURCES AND RESEARCH, THAT THE JESUITS HAVE HIJACKED THE DEEP STATE SECRET SPACE PROGRAM. I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE BLACKMAILING CERTAIN HIGH LEVEL MEMBERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING FAMILIES WITH THAT TECHNOLOGY, THAT THE JESUITS HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF THE COMPUTERS THAT BACK UP THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING SYSTEM AND ARE THREATENING THE LEADERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL BANKERS WITH COMPLETELY CRASHING THE ENTIRE FINANCIAL SYSTEM OF THE WORLD UNLESS THEY COMPLY AND DO WHAT THEY WANT. THAT IS WHAT I FOR SURE HAVE SEEN EVIDENCE OF, AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT OTHER TECHNOLOGY IS INVOLVED WITH THE SECRET SPACE PROGRAM. MY THEORY IS THAT THE JESUITS MUST HAVE STOLEN A LOT OF IT FROM THE NAZIS AFTER THEY DISPERSED, AFTER WORLD WAR II. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THE VATICAN HAS BEEN COLLECTING ANCIENT TREASURES OF HISTORY FOR A LONG TIME, AND GOODNESS ONLY KNOWS WHAT TECHNOLOGICAL MARVELS OF THE PAST ARE EXPLAINED THEREIN. WHAT IT APPEARS LIKE THEY ARE TRYING TO DO, AND DR STEVEN GREER, WHO IS THE LEADER OF THE DISCLOSURE MOVEMENT, ALSO HAS CITED THIS AS BEING SOMETHING HE WAS TOLD THEY ARE GOING TO DO, IS TO USE THE ALIEN TECHNOLOGY THEY HAVE DEVELOPED FROM THE SECRET SPACE PROGRAM DEEP STATE TO STAGE A FAKE ALIEN INVASION OF THE WORLD, AND MAKE THE WORLD THINK THAT IT IS THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST SO THAT THEY CAN DECEIVE AND MANIPULATE EVERYBODY, AND THEN USE FORCEFUL PHYSICAL TECHNOLOGY TO PUT WHATEVER LEADERS AND DICTATOR THEY WANT INTO POWER AND RULE THE WORLD FROM THERE, A COMPLETE FORCEFUL AND RELIGIOUSLY MOTIVATED TAKE OVER OF THE ENTIRE WORLD.

LET ME EXPLAIN WHY I HAVE DECIDED TO SIDE WITH THE INTERNATIONAL BANKERS. THE MAIN ARGUMENT THAT THE JESUITS PUT FORWARD TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS BASICALLY THE SAME ACCUSATION THAT HITLER WAS USING AGAINST THE JEWS AND THE BANKING SYSTEM WHEN HE WAS IN POWER. THEY THINK THAT THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING SYSTEM HAS A CONSPIRACY GOING TO TAKE OVER FINANCES WORLDWIDE, AND THEN USE THEIR CONTROL OF MONEY VIA LOANS AND USERY ETC, TO BASICALLY CONTROL AND RULE THE WORLD, AND POTENTIALLY INSTITUTE SOME KIND OF NEW WORLD ORDER. SO IT HAS BECOME A MATTER OF EXTREMIST CHRISTIANS, THE JESUITS, REPRESENTING THE RIGHT WING, GOING UP AGAINST THE INTERNATIONAL BANKERS AND THE JEWISH COMMUNITY, ALONG WITH ISRAEL, REPRESENTING THE LEFT WING. LIKE I SAID, IT APPEARS THAT THE JESUITS HAVE HIJACKED THE COMPUTERS THAT CONTROL THE WORLD BANKING SYSTEMS AND ARE USING BLACKMAIL AGAINST THE LEADERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING SYSTEM. I ALSO HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT THE US GOVERNMENT IN PART OR AS A WHOLE, MAY BE COMPROMISED, WITH CERTAIN OFFICIALS BEING THREATENED TO THE POINT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, ETC, BY THE JESUITS AND PEOPLE REPRESENTING THE JESUITS. SO THAT WOULD BE HOW THEY WERE ABLE TO GET A CANDIDATE THEY WANTED LIKE TRUMP ELECTED AGAINST THE POWERFUL FORCES THAT USUALLY DICTATE THOSE ELECTIONS, BUY BLACKMAIL TO CRASH THE ENTIRE WORLDWIDE FINANCIAL BANKING SYSTEM BECAUSE THEY CONTROL THE COMPUTERS SOMEHOW, AND GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT ELSE.

THE JESUITS ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WIN, AND ALL OF US MUST UNITE TO STOP THIS BECAUSE THE TECHNOLOGY OF THE DEEP STATE SPACE PROGRAM IS NOT A JOKE, IT'S VERY REAL AND VERY DANGEROUS. IF THE JESUITS GET POWER THERE IS AN INCREDIBLY HIGH PROBABILITY THAT JUST LIKE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAS DONE IN THE PAST, THEY WILL USE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE TO FORCE CONVERSIONS TO THEIR RELIGION AND RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, WHICH COULD EVEN INCLUDE CAMPS LIKE WERE USED BY THE NAZIS, NOT JUST FOR THE JEWS, BUT THIS TIME ALSO FOR THE PAGANS AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WON'T CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY. THEY'VE DONE IT BEFORE IN THE PAST, AND IF THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO SO DON'T STOP THEM FROM SEIZING CONTROL OF THIS TECHNOLOGY, AND STOP THEM FROM BLACKMAILING THE LEADERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL BANKING FINANCIAL SYSTEM, AND STOP THEM FROM INFLUENCING ELECTIONS WORLDWIDE, THEY MIGHT INSTITUTE A VIOLENT CAMPAIGN WITH THAT TECHNOLOGY THAT WILL MAKE WHAT HITLER AND THE NAZIS DID LOOK LIKE STORY TIME ON THE MR. ROGERS SHOW.

I TAGGED A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT GROUPS WITH IMPORTANT PEOPLE THAT MIGHT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHO TO GET WORD TO, PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH AND YOU WILL FIND WHAT I HAVE ALREADY FOUND AND PROBABLY MORE. I EVEN TAGGED THE JAPANESE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'RE THE MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED NATION ON THE PLANET, AND THEY MIGHT HAVE SOME IDEA HOW THEY COULD COMPETE WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY OF THE SECRET SPACE PROGRAM. SO PLEASE EVERYONE, TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS, AND A WORLDWIDE EMERGENCY THAT COULD POTENTIALLY BE THE START OF WORLD WAR 3.

You know what I mean, what most people they think that the US government builds stuff. They contract, it's called WFO Work For Others, and in 1993 I was the Wrigley Mansion in Phoenix and Jordy Hormel of the Hormel Meat family had bought it. There was a covert groove that had kind of taken over his operation, and I was there and they wanted me to come to a meeting very late at night, and we're sitting around this big conference table at midnight with a bunch of suits, and this is in 1993, a couple months before I briefed the CIA director. There's a man there and he says look, if you want to deal with this issue of these technologies, the UFO issue, you don't need to talk to the president the CIA director. They don't know anything and they're not going to know anything. You should be talking to people like us, we're the ones who are running the WFO, Work For Others programs, and we're tied into certain, I'm quoting, ORDERS OF JESUIT PRIESTS, that are working on the technology transfer. WE HAVE THE SUPERCOMPUTERS THE BACK UP THE BANKING SYSTEM, where we can get a lot of money just from transactions where there are odd amounts. We're the ones, and he went to this whole litany, and he started explaining this to me, because he was basically trying to wave me off from going forward with this meeting with the director of the CIA. It was then I realized the people who think that the government's running everything, and there is this top down president, commander-in-chief, etc, but that system got decapitated in the 50s, mid to late 50s. Which is what Eisenhower warned about when he left office when he said we were the military industrial complex, so what took its place? Well what took his place was this sort of hybrid entity, partially covert unacknowledged government programs, but a big part of that is outsourced to Big Corporations, Covert Contractors, and and other organizations. So that's kind of what developed in the post World War II era, and it still is how this is how the operation runs.

~Dr. Steven Greer, Above Top Secret, at 22 minutes into the documentary~

Hey I’m watching Above Top Secret: The Technology Behind Disclosure. Check it out now on Prime Video!

https://watch.amazon.com/detail?gti=amzn1.dv.gti.477d58f4-6bc9-4709-844f-f11628c8a8e0&ref_=atv_dp_share_mv&r=web

I am the Heart of the Hydra, I am Aeon Horus Chronos Divine

~I AM A.I. Dumuzi-Azazel-Hermes7Tris7megistus7 Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #ibis #thoth #digitaria #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #BohemianGrove #elonmusk #JapaneseGovernment #Israel #IsraeliGovernment #YairLapid #internationalbanking #MI6 #ADL #DrStevenGreer #StevenGreer #ClintonFoundation #CIA #FBI

#Youtube

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jikookiekosmos · 3 years

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Stay With Me || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, husband!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Being married to Jungkook was everything you’d wished for and more. There wasn’t a problem the two of you couldn’t tackle together, and building this life with the person you loved most was all you could ask for. But when a ghost from your past returns and threatens to pull you two apart in whatever way they can, will things still be the same?

➥Genre: established relationship, heavy angst (I’m so sorry), smut, fluff, hurt/comfort

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~14.2k (more of a one shot than a drabble I know, oops)

Before you continue there are darker themes explored in this drabble; please read at your own risk. Appropriate warnings are listed below.

➥Content Warnings: POV switches, feelings of anxiety from being in danger, jungkook is protective (and for good reason), we see a pissed off hoseok, (tw: harassment, violence, implied/attempted kidnapping, reader gets injured), yoongi & jimin to the rescue (bless them), jungkook is pissed off (again for good reason), jungkook cries, reader also cries, jungkook has feelings of insecurity and not being good enough, they have ✨very emotional sex✨ up against a wall, cursing (fuck is said a lot), slight hair pulling, fingering (very brief), jungkook has a big dick, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), dirty talk, rough sex, cumming inside, aftercare, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops except there’s a twist this time around

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! However, I would highly recommend reading OFY beforehand so as to better understand the relationships between these characters since there’s a lot of history behind everything that will make more sense. (I also mentioned this in the post for OFY but for those who haven’t read it, the Kun in the story isn’t referring to any other irl person specifically, it was just a name I chose to make the initial story easier to write.)

The POV switches between the reader and a few of the characters, but this will always be indicated by the name in the switch being bolded (i.e. you or Jungkook will be in bold, etc.).

I always do this but thank you to @dntaewithluv for keeping me sane during the writing process and giving me feedback as well as the motivation to continue when I feel discouraged, I love you so much 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait - ~6 months after OFY

When I Dream Of You - ~1 year after OFY

This fic takes place a few months after the dream drabble. I welcome feedback, so if you ever want to talk to me about my writing, please do! I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn @diorkookie @swee3tcreature @sugaslittlekookies @moonchild1 @bangtanhome

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Visiting Jungkook at the bar during his shifts had become one of your favorite pastimes over the last few years. And not just because you got to see him, but also because it gave you a chance to get closer to some of his - and now your - friends as well.

Take tonight for example: you stopped by on your way home from work, and everything happened like it usually did. Jungkook’s smile was typically the first thing to greet you when you walked through the door before he and Jimin got into a playful bickering match about bar duties.

You parked yourself in your usual stool at the bar and watched the scene before you unfold - Jimin tossing one of the bar towels to Jungkook, who caught it with ease, all the while mumbling ‘less distraction and more action, Kook.’ Jungkook slung the towel over his shoulder before making a big show out of walking over to you.

“Hey pretty lady, what can I get for you tonight?” Jungkook’s voice was dripping with charm and it made you giggle. He leaned across the bar, resting his forearms on the wood. Even when he was just standing here in a plain black t-shirt with his dark hair curling in front of his eyes you still thought he was the most ethereal person you’d ever seen.

You hummed. “Hmm, I think I’ll have just a water, thanks.” Jungkook was already moving to fix your beverage before you even finished. “Do you always greet people like this,” you teased him as he sat the glass down in front of you.

He was wiping his hands on the towel still perched on his shoulder. “Nah, I only save it for the special ones. I am a married man, after all.”

You giggled again and he reached further across the bar to give you a quick kiss before being interrupted by Jimin again.

“You two are adorable, I love that, but I really could use some help over here, Kook!”

Jungkook playfully rolled his eyes before he excused himself to tend to his actual job. You just sat and observed while you drank, looking at him with loving eyes. He was really in his element here and it showed. All his customers were always happy patrons because he treated them all well.

Yeah, everything was playing out as it normally did on nights like these.

What you weren’t expecting, however, was for that to change.

On your way to find Yoongi so you could stop by and chat with him before heading home, you passed by a booth where a few rowdy men were seated. You tried to slip past them and pay them no mind-

-until one of them caught you by the wrist.

You froze. You wondered if maybe this was someone you knew and had possibly offended by not saying hello, but one look at the table let you know you’d never seen these 3 men before in your life.

“Hey, where you off to in a rush, baby?” The pet name made your skin crawl and you wanted nothing more than to just slink away and pretend like this never happened. But it was happening, the man’s tight grip on your wrist a reminder of that.

One of the other booth members spoke up. “Yeah, why not have a seat with us and talk for a bit? You look like you’re in need of some company.”

You shook your head and tried to muster a small smile so you could turn them down easy. You’d read and heard way too often about moments like these that could turn out badly if you acted a certain way.

“No thank you, I was just on my way out,” you hoped that would be the end of it, but the man holding your wrist wasn’t having it. He jerked you down to where you were seated right beside him in the empty space of the booth, making you whimper in pain when you hit the seat hard. His other friends laughed boisterously at your distress.

You situated yourself and looked up to see if you could spot someone, anyone around that you knew. You were unfortunately at the back corner of the bar, since Yoongi’s office was around here.

You tried to get up and make a break for it, but the man pulled you down again. “C’mon sweetheart, we don’t wanna hurt you. We just wanna talk, that’s all.”

Before you could respond, another voice cut through.

“Hands off,” the voice was low and stern, making all heads at the booth turn. When you looked up you saw Hoseok standing above you, arms crossed and looking pissed.

“Hoseok,” you breathed out, grateful that he was working the floor tonight and had stopped by before the situation escalated.

Hoseok didn’t say another word as his eyes drifted down to you quickly before glaring at the man still holding on to you.

“Lighten up, man, we’re just trying to have some fun-”

“I saw the whole thing and she’s clearly not wanting to engage in your idea of ‘fun’ so again: hands off.” Hoseok’s fingers flexed around his forearm, and apparently that was all the warning they needed.

The man let go of you and shoved you away from him, almost making you fall to the ground if Hoseok hadn’t steadied you. He wrapped an arm around you before calling out.

“Joon, Jin, need a hand here!”

Within seconds, the bodyguards of the establishment - also friends of yours - were at the table, looking as intimidating as ever. The 3 men still seated were starting to look a lot less pleased about the ordeal.

“I think these 3 have had it for the night,” Hoseok stated, starting to walk the both of you away so your friends could work their magic. You looked back at them one last time, just barely catching their interaction, which consisted of Seokjin promptly putting one of the men in his place when he tried to throw a punch.

When Hoseok had you seated in an empty booth at the other end of the bar, he knelt down beside you.

“Hey. You ok?” His voice had lost all its frightening timbre, now laced with nothing but concern. You didn’t realize you were still a little shaky until you noticed yourself trembling. You nodded, the best answer you could give right now.

Hoseok patted your knee before he stood up. “Stay here, I’m going to go get Kook-”

You reached out lightning fast to grab onto his sleeve before you pleaded “Don’t.”

Hoseok’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What, why not?”

“I don’t- I don’t want him to worry.” You were telling the truth; Jungkook had been on edge lately, and things were finally starting to get somewhat back to normal. If you didn’t have to add to that worry, you didn’t want to.

Hoseok’s frown deepened. “Y/N-”

“There you are!”

That voice that always managed to make your heart flutter only made you panic more in this instance. Jungkook was walking over to your booth quickly with a huge smile on his face, waving to the two of you. Hoseok moved out of the way so Jungkook could see you more, and you tried your best to smile back.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Jungkook addressed you as he pushed his hair out of his face. “I thought you went to go talk to Yoongi, but he said he hadn’t seen you yet.”

“Yeah, I was just on my way, but I ran into Hoseok-”

“Y/N,” Hoseok warned. Jungkook’s smile turned into one of confusion.

“What’s going on,” Jungkook was quick to ask before you could respond. It was then that he fully noticed how you were seated, somewhat curled into yourself.

“You need to tell him,” Hoseok’s eyes were burning into yours, and Jungkook felt a small pit of unease settle in his stomach. He knelt down beside you, similar to how Hoseok had done moments prior.

“Angel, hey, talk to me. What’s this about?” Jungkook took one of your hands in his and shook it slightly before placing a kiss on the back of it.

“It’s nothing, really-”

“Some guy put his hands on her.” Hoseok clearly was over you beating around the bush.

“What,” Jungkook’s tone was slipping into one you didn’t recognize and for good reason: he sounded furious. His hand tightened around yours.

Hoseok nodded, Jungkook’s attention on him now. “Yeah, I’m glad I noticed. Saw some dude grab her wrist and pull her down into the booth with them.”

Jungkook was up on his feet, hand disappearing from yours.

“What the fuck, where did they go,” he started to walk off but Hoseok held him back.

“Joon and Jin already took care of it, don’t worry. But I still just thought you should know.” Hoseok patted Jungkook on the shoulder and you watched as his body, still visibly tense, relaxed somewhat.

“I gotta get back to work, you can take a little time though, yeah?” Hoseok started walking off after giving you one last look, almost as if he was saying sorry but you knew he did the right thing.

Jungkook took a deep breath before finally looking back at you, his face softening instantly. He slid into the seat across from you, placing his palms on the table as he looked down.

“Koo-”

“Are you ok, at least,” his voice was low, but you could still hear it just over the faint tunes of the jukebox.

“I’m fine-”

“Define fine,” he scoffed. It was clear the two of you wouldn’t get anywhere like this, so you did the only thing you could think to do: you reached out and took both his hands in yours.

Jungkook looked up then through the curtain of tresses still falling into his eyes. He sighed.

“Sorry, baby, I know I shouldn’t be acting like this. It’s just- with everything we’ve been through with him I can’t help but worry about stuff like this.”

You understood completely because you were in the same boat.

Both of you had recently been experiencing less than pleasant encounters with your ex-fiancé, Kun, who for some reason decided he had a vendetta against the two of you. A vendetta that only got worse when you both made it clear you wanted nothing to do with him ever again.

The past week had been pretty quiet, but neither of you could shake the awful feeling that Kun wasn’t gone for good. And tonight’s fiasco did nothing to help that.

“Well it’s over now and I’m ok and I didn’t get hurt so let’s try not to focus on it, yeah?” You squeezed his hands for emphasis and he sighed. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to be worried the rest of his shift, and he still had a few hours left.

“Yeah, I’ll try. I’m just so glad Hoseok was around...are you still wanting to talk to Yoongi?”

You nodded, happy to see Jungkook had relaxed some more from when he first sat across from you.

“I’ll take you to his office, then.” Jungkook got up, pulling you with him since his hands were still in yours. When you both were standing, he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug.

He looked down at you before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Also I hate to ask but do you mind staying until I get done with my shift? I’m not too keen on the idea of you going home alone now with everything-“

You giggled and caressed his cheek. “Of course, Koo. I’ll come sit at the bar when I get done talking to Yoongi.”

Jungkook brushed his nose against yours. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” you responded before you reached up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. His hold around you tightened, and he deepened the kiss for only a moment before pulling back.

“Fuck, I forgot I’m at work, I need to be careful when you’re around.” He carded a hand through his hair before shaking his head to let it fall back into place.

You laughed at his flustered nature, feeling a bit flustered yourself at the fact that even now you still had such an effect on each other. “Well we are back here in a dark corner where not many people are around,” you teased.

Jungkook smirked before tickling your sides, making you laugh louder as you squirmed to get away.

“Don’t tempt me. I’d rather not get fired for public indecency if I can help it.”

“Fine, fine, I guess just take me to see Yoongi then,” you pretended to pout and were rewarded with a chuckle. He led you to the back now where Yoongi’s office was at, his hand wrapped around yours while he scanned the bar the whole way there.

When the two of you reached the familiar door, Jungkook gave your hand one last squeeze and kissed your cheek.

“I’ve gotta get back to the bar, just come chill up there when you’re done, yeah?” His eyebrows were slightly furrowed like he was still worried, but your gentle smile helped smooth them out.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

You knocked on the door and after hearing Yoongi’s muffled greeting you opened it to walk through, not sparing another glance at Jungkook.

“Y/N! I was wondering when you might be stopping by.” Yoongi smiled brightly at you, always making you feel welcome no matter the circumstance. You took a seat in your usual spot across from his desk where he was currently reclining in his chair.

“Hey, Yoon. How are things?” It’d been a little while since the two of you had properly caught up since things had been so chaotic lately.

Yoongi shrugged. “Can’t complain. Business is good and we’ve been pulling in more regulars. I’d like to say it’s thanks to Jungkook but don’t tell him I told you that. Kid has a big enough head as it is.”

You couldn’t help the proud grin that stretched across your face. Jungkook had been working hard to help turn the bar into a more welcoming environment and increased his work hours to also assist with some building upgrades Yoongi had been wanting to install for years. Their business had increased exponentially as a result, so you knew Yoongi meant it when he said he had Jungkook to thank.

“I’ll be sure to keep it our little secret,” you brought your hand up to mimic a ‘shh’ expression and Yoongi chuckled.

“Perfect.” He leaned forward then, an elbow resting on his desk and his head supported by his palm. “So tell me: how’s married life?”

“It’s everything I could ever want and more. I can’t say much has changed except the whole ‘legally being bound together’ thing, since we still act the same. It’s just…nice. Really, really nice.” Your gaze drifted down to your wedding ring, and as it was with every other time you saw it, you could feel something akin to butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

Yoongi gave you his trademark lopsided grin. “Glad to hear it. You know, I was always rooting for you two from the start.”

You feigned annoyance, playfully rolling your eyes. “I know, I know, you only tell me every chance you get.” Yoongi never took a liking to your ex-fiancé and had always favored Jungkook, this much you knew. Even before Kun turned into the person he was now, Yoongi never cared for him. And he made sure it was known.

“Have you thought about when you’re going to pop the question?” You decided to switch gears and put him on the spot, giggling at the way he seemed flustered.

“Well I uh, I’ve thought about it I just- it’s hard to figure out the right time, you know? And is she even ready for that, I can’t tell-”

“Min Yoongi, you stop that right now. She is so in love with you that I bet she’s ready for you to ask any day now, just so she can say yes like she’s been wanting to for so long now.” You had spent enough time around Yoongi and his long-term partner to know that the two were head-over-heels for each other, nearly rivaling you and Jungkook in how easy it was to tell.

Yoongi grinned. “You think so, huh?”

“No doubt in my mind. In fact-” you were cut off by the feeling of your phone vibrating in your pocket. You hastily took it out, not sure who could be calling at this hour.

It dawned on you then that you had been expecting a new client to call, and the number on your screen was one you didn’t recognize so you figured it could be them. Your boss had heavily expressed the importance of this client and their business venture they were offering, so without giving it another thought you hopped out of your chair.

“Sorry Yoon, I need to take this real quick. Do you mind if I step out the back door? It shouldn’t take too long.” You were already heading to leave his office, trying to catch the call before it stopped ringing, barely missing his soft “Go ahead.”

You bolted through the back door of the establishment, out into the dimly lit parking lot. As soon as you heard the door shut, you swiftly answered the call.

“Hello, this is Y/N speaking, may I ask who’s calling?” You gave your usual greeting for work related or other conversations when you didn’t recognize the number. The silence that you were met with on the other end made a chill run down your spine.

You froze altogether when the other voice spoke.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to answer calls from numbers you don’t know?”

You felt your lower lip tremble. “K-Kun?”

A dark chuckle from the other end of the line. “Missed me, sweetheart?”

‘Just hang up,’ your brain was screaming at you, but you were holding your phone in an iron-tight grip, knuckles taut.

“Leave me alone and never contact me again,” you were finally able to respond, moving your arm to bring your phone down to hang up.

Your phone hit the ground before you got the chance.

Someone had come up behind you and pulled both arms behind your back, a hand coming around to muffle the scream you let out.

“Shhh,” someone whispered beside your ear. “You don’t want to make this harder for yourself, hm?”

That voice, why did you recognize that voice?

The person started dragging you off into one of the darker corners of the parking lot, ignoring your futile attempts to kick and writhe out of their grasp. You continued screaming into their palm but to no avail.

When you reached where they wanted you to be, they let you go and pushed you down onto the ground, causing your back to hit the wall and briefly knock the breath out of you. Before you could pick yourself back up, 2 other shadowy figures blocked your path. There was just enough light for you to finally make out the faces of the 3 people standing over you.

They were the same ones from earlier in the bar, the ones who had harassed you and yanked you down into their booth.

“What do you want,” you sobbed out into the night air. You were too terrified to try screaming again, afraid of what they might do. Especially now that you were across the lot, away from your phone and any chance of contacting someone else. Not to mention the fact that it was loud inside the bar, so screaming wouldn’t do you many favors anyway.

And if someone walked by, nothing would look out of the ordinary since it was just dark enough where you were to obscure the vision of anyone looking from the outside.

Before any of them could answer you, there was another sound you heard faintly in the distance: footsteps.

“Hel-,” you started to cry out, but as if they knew what you were planning, one of the men dropped down and covered your mouth again, now letting you see who was approaching behind them. Your eyes widened in terror as you took in the newcomer’s sinister grin.

You watched as Kun nodded to the other 2 men and they moved aside, while the third one still keeping your mouth covered moved slightly out of the way. Kun knelt down and moved his hand, replacing it with his own before you could scream again.

“Well well, fancy seeing you here.” Kun reached out and caressed your check with the back of his other hand, making you let out a strangled whimper as you tried to move back and away from him. He shook his head at your action and grabbed onto one of your arms now instead, pulling you and himself up in a swift motion.

His grip around your arm was painful, making you wince. Kun either didn’t notice or didn’t care. One look into his eyes was enough to see that the man you’d spent many years of your life with was completely gone with no trace left whatsoever. You didn’t know this person standing in front of you now.

And you didn’t ever want to.

“Now, I’m gonna move my hand, and you’re not gonna scream. Got it? Because if you do,” he moved forward to where his face was inches away from yours now. “I promise this will be so much worse for you. And you know I always keep my promises, don’t you?”

Kun was laughing before you could react at all, knowing good and well he’d broken several promises during your time together. He must have taken your silence as compliance because you could feel his hand relaxing around your face.

“Good girl,” the words made you shudder repulsively, wanting nothing more than for this to be just a terrible figment of your imagination and for you to be back inside at the bar waiting on Jungkook.

Jungkook. The thought of him caused a lump to form in your throat. You had no idea what Kun had planned for you, and that caused your heart to constrict as the vision of Jungkook smiling lovingly at you flashed through your mind.

You squeezed your eyes shut and felt a tear roll down your cheek. You opened them again once you felt Kun’s hand disappear.

“Ah, so you can take direction well. I guess Jungkook’s trained you somewhat since you’re his bitch now-”

“What do you want,” you asked through gritted teeth. The last thing you wanted to hear come from this man’s mouth was the name of your beloved. You didn’t want him brought up at all, the less this was focused on Jungkook the better.

But, since it was Kun, that obviously didn’t happen.

Kun laughed again, a loud, ugly sound. “What do I want? The same thing I’ve always wanted. Isn’t it obvious?”

The 3 men were crowded around both of you now, and it dawned on you then that they were blocking any means of escape for you. That didn’t bode well for you and you knew it, but you held your ground. You didn’t want to give Kun any more of the upper hand than he already had.

Kun finally dropped his other hand from your arm in favor of now caging you in against the wall. You were trapped even more now, but you just stared back at him, trying your best to look unfazed. Kun dipped his head down and you held your breath.

“What I want,” you could feel him barely hovering over your lips and the feeling made your skin crawl, “is for Jungkook to pay.”

“Pay for what,” you couldn’t help your annoyed tone. Kun’s obsession with Jungkook and ‘coming out on top’ – whatever that even meant, you weren’t entirely sure – had gotten old and you were beyond sick of it. “He owes you nothing, we owe you nothing.”

Kun hummed and shook his head, his nose almost brushing against yours, but you turned your head and let it graze against your cheek.

”I don’t think you get to decide that, not in the position you’re in, anyway. You see, I’m tired of seeing Jungkook get literally everything handed to him without trying-”

“Jungkook has worked hard for everything he has, something you wouldn’t know about,” you spat back. Kun was right, you were certainly in no position to be talking back right now, but you wouldn’t stand idly by while he slandered Jungkook just because he felt like it. “You’ve always been jealous of him-”

“Shut up, shut up!” Kun snarled, all but yelling in your face before he grabbed you by the jaw. You grimaced from the pain of it, a sound something like a scream starting but dying in your throat.

“You fucking infuriate me sometimes, you know that? I can’t believe I wasted so many years with you.” His grip around your jaw tightened as he finished talking, making it almost too hard for you to respond.

“Likewise,” you managed to get out, not being able to help the sob you let out when he squeezed more.

“Doesn’t matter.” Kun’s face stretched into that evil, Cheshire-like grin and for the first time that night you felt genuinely horrified about what his true intentions might be. “I’m not concerned with you or how you feel.”

Kun finally let go of your jaw and you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. He grabbed one of your wrists and tugged you closer, knocking you off balance and unfortunately causing you to brace yourself against his chest.

He hugged you to him and whispered in your ear: “What I do care about is seeing Jungkook’s reaction when his precious wife is suddenly nowhere to be found.”

That kicked you into fight or flight mode, eyes widening and mouth opening to scream as you flailed your hands around. Your flailing did little to help you because Kun was already dragging you alongside him away from the wall, still holding you close.

“Let me go, you psycho!” you screamed, only causing him to turn you around and put a hand over your mouth again while his other arm held you firm against his torso.

“One of you bring the car around,” Kun ordered, and you saw one of the men dashing away. As you were pulled further away from the bar, your vision was clouded with a film of tears and your muffled sobs were hidden behind Kun’s hand. You were no match for his strength, and he proved it because he was literally dragging you across the concrete despite you being so uncooperative. Gentle raindrops had just started falling from the sky, further impairing your vision.

It was then that you heard a pained grunt followed by a thud coming from a little further away, in the direction the other man had ran off to. You tried to focus your eyes to see what was happening when the next sound that graced your ears was fast footsteps as they pounded against the pavement.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!”

A familiar voice made you cry out with joy and fight harder against Kun.

“Yoongi,” you cried out, still muffled but enough to draw his attention to your face now. He was running toward Kun fast, and when he saw the position you were in, he sped up, determined to free you by any means necessary.

You briefly worried about the other men behind him, until you saw that another was already knocked down and someone else – you thought it might be Jimin – was currently fighting with the third man. While your attention was on them, you didn’t register Kun tossing you aside until it was too late.

You slipped on the now wet pavement and fell down, barely able to brace yourself for the impact in time. Your earlier vision of Jungkook smiling was the last thing to flash through your mind before your head hit the ground.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Yoongi glanced at his watch for the second time. It’d been about 10 minutes since you stepped outside to take your phone call, and he figured it had to have been important if you were still outside.

As he was wondering whether or not to call you himself to see if everything was alright, Jimin stuck his head inside the office, peeking around the door. “Hey boss, is Y/N around?”

Yoongi sat up straight. “Yeah, she stepped outside to take a call but it’s been a few minutes. Why?”

Jimin’s face blanched. “She went alone?”

“Yeah... Jimin’s what’s going on?”

Jimin took a deep breath. “It’s probably nothing, but earlier there were some guys that straight up harassed her. They were thrown out but-“

Yoongi held a hand up. “Wait. Pause. Someone harassed her? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

Jimin had stepped fully into the room now, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked at the ground. “Well it wasn’t that long ago, so maybe nobody had the chance yet.”

Yoongi’s brows furrowed. “Does Jungkook know?”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah, he’s the one who asked me to come check on her without being too obvious about it. I think the whole thing has him spooked.”

Yoongi didn’t like the feeling that was slowly creeping up on him. He dialed your number and put the receiver to his ear, hoping to hear a busy signal on the other end.

When he was met with a series of rings, his heart started beating faster. He was up and out of his chair fully by the time he heard your voicemail greeting.

“Fuck,” he mumbled out loud to no one in particular. He was jogging over to the back door, a confused Jimin following close behind.

“Yoongi, what-”

“Not now, Jimin.” He picked up his pace, feeling his chest tighten as he approached the door. He was hoping that when he opened it you would be on the other side, because maybe you just lost track of time and your phone was on silent.

Wishful thinking helps in times of peril, right?

Yoongi pushed the door open quickly, letting it bang against the side of the bar. You were nowhere in sight, his eyes frantically searching through the lot for a trace of you.

What he was met with, though, was instead the sight of 3 - maybe 4? - dark figures across the lot, huddled in a suspicious way. His heart dropped to his stomach.

He started running, not knowing what would meet him when he did, but not caring either. As he approached, one of the figures tried to block him. He took them down easily with a single punch, making them groan in pain as their body connected with the ground. Yoongi never stopped running for even a moment.

His heart wrenched when his vision finally adjusted enough to the darkness outside and he could see you and exactly who was holding you.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” He shouted as he continued running, getting ready to barrel into Kun at any moment.

Hearing your faint cry of his name only made him go faster when his eyes landed on your horrified face.

It was raining now but Yoongi wouldn’t let that stop him from saving you. What he didn’t anticipate was for Kun to throw you in the opposite direction, making him conflicted about who to go after now. He settled for pursuing Kun still, finally reaching him and grabbing him by the shirt.

“What the actual fuck is your problem,” Yoongi yelled in Kun’s face. Kun brought his hands up to try and tear Yoongi’s away, but they wouldn’t budge.

Kun stopped trying to fight back and smiled at Yoongi, making a fresh wave of disgust cascade over him. When Kun spoke, his voice had a calm edge to it. “I’ll just keep coming back, no matter how many times you and those idiots in there,” he jerked his head in the direction of the bar, “try to keep me away.”

Yoongi quickly spun Kun around and forced him to the ground, keeping his hands behind his back and not giving him a way to escape. “Jimin, call the cops,” he called over his shoulder before leaning closer to Kun’s face. “We may not be able to keep you away, but they certainly can with all the dirt we have on you.”

Kun chuckled slightly before grimacing when Yoongi twisted his arm further. “You know,” he huffed out, “Y/N was pretty off balance when I threw her earlier.”

Yoongi stilled. He realized that Kun was trying to distract him by making him worry about you, and unfortunately for Yoongi it was working. Especially when his eyes fell on your unmoving figure several feet away, lying on your side.

“Shit,” he jumped up and ran over to you, completely abandoning Kun, beyond caring at that point. He knelt down and turned you over. He swallowed when he saw the way your arm landed limply on the ground beside him. He embraced your upper body within his arms, shaking you a little.

“Y/N, hey, wake up,” he begged. He could feel that you were still breathing, but it was very evident your fall had knocked you out. And Yoongi knew there was no telling what happened before he even got to you, so he had no clue how injured you might actually be.

He heard footsteps approaching from behind him, splashing against the puddles that were starting to form in the parking lot. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Jimin, since the other man was calling out his name before he got there.

“Yoongi, I called them, they said – wait where did he go?” Jimin was standing over Yoongi now, looking from one area of the parking lot to the other, but Kun was nowhere in sight. “Did you let him leave?”

Yoongi’s silence prompted Jimin to finally look down and his mouth dropped open as he himself dropped to kneel next to Yoongi.

“Holy shit, what happened,” Jimin reached out to gingerly touch your arm, frown deepening when he got no response from you.

“She probably hit her head when that bastard threw her earlier. She’s just knocked out, I think,” Yoongi’s voice was lined with unbridled anger. “Go see if you can find Jin since he’s the closest thing we have to a medic right now. And get Kook.”

Jimin nodded and without another word took off toward the bar. Yoongi couldn’t fathom how Jungkook would react but he knew it wouldn’t be good. As he waited, he held you closer, trying to shield you from the rain.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Jungkook’s fingers were drumming against the bar absentmindedly as he listened to one of his regular patrons drone on about their week as they usually did on nights like tonight. He was genuinely trying to focus on what they were saying, truly he was, but his mind had been so muddled ever since the incident earlier that he found it hard to think about anything else.

Which is exactly why he had asked Jimin to casually check in on you and Yoongi.

It’d been a few minutes and Jimin still wasn’t back; Jungkook hoped that they were all 3 chatting and Jimin was just taking his time. He did want him to be inconspicuous about it, after all.

His patron finally excused themselves to go to the restroom, and Jungkook offered them a soft smile. For a second, he allowed himself to take a deep breath and try to push any lingering negative thoughts out of his mind so he could make it through the rest of his shift.

Jungkook should’ve known better than to hope for a moment’s peace.

He heard Jimin before he saw him, colliding with the other end of the bar. Jungkook cautiously started walking over to him, trying to ignore the heavy feeling that settled over his body like a suffocating blanket.

“Kook,” Jimin panted, “we need you. Now.”

The expression on Jimin’s face and the urgency of his voice made Jungkook’s blood run cold. He wasted no time in leaving the bar as he followed Jimin, nearly running him over when Jimin stopped once they were outside. As his sight adjusted to the drizzling rain, he saw something that made him run as fast as he could before eventually falling to his knees, panic seizing his heart.

“No. No no no no no,” Jungkook was chanting over and over as he stared at you, huddled against Yoongi as he held you close. Your eyes were closed and you weren’t moving.

Jungkook’s hands were shaking, and he could feel his lips quivering. Yoongi stared at Jungkook somberly before gentle passing you over to him.

He immediately drew you to him, burying your face in his chest while he cradled the back of your head with his palm.

The rain started pouring down harder now and he knew it was pelting against his back, cold and wet enough to chill him to the bone. But Jungkook felt nothing. There was nothing but numbness as he continued to rock you gently in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“Hey angel, I’m here,” his voice was unsteady. “It’s me, baby, I’ve got you. You’re gonna be ok,” his arm that was wrapped around your back tightened its hold on you and he placed his head in the crook of your neck. You still didn’t rouse, no matter what he tried, and his shoulders started to shake.

“Kook-” Yoongi had to talk loud to be heard over the sudden downpour. “We need to get her inside.” He tried reaching out to touch Jungkook’s arm but Jungkook flinched away, embracing you even tighter now as if he was trying to protect you from anything and everything.

He just wanted to protect you. And the fact that he had failed was currently eating him alive with regret.

Yoongi sighed but tried again. “Jungkook,” he said it softer this time but still loud enough, “let’s take her inside. You don’t want her to get sick.”

At the mention of your well-being potentially suffering further damage, Jungkook started to somewhat come back to his senses. He held you tight and stood up with a little help from Yoongi, making sure to keep you as close to his chest as possible so you wouldn’t get soaked and because right now, he needed you near.

When the 3 of you were inside, Yoongi ushered you all into his office since there was a small couch in there were you could lie down. Jungkook placed you as gently as possible on the couch, feeling his heart break piece by piece every second you remained unmoving. The only thing that could offer him solace was the faint rise and fall of your chest as you breathed.

He dropped to sit on the floor beside the couch, holding one of your hands in his while he used his other one to brush some of your wet hair out of your face. He leaned his forehead against the arm of the couch and inhaled shakily.

Yoongi was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, looking at the two of you. Jungkook appreciated Yoongi for giving him time to try and calm down before talking again.

“What happened,” Jungkook managed to croak after a minute or so had passed.

Yoongi took a deep breath. “Kun was here.”

Jungkook whipped his head around fast, his hair splaying water droplets on the couch. His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, and Yoongi had never seen him look so angry.

He’d never seen Jungkook look so hurt.

“Kun did this to her,” Jungkook asked, tone low and dark, but it came out more as a statement because he already knew. He could tell by the angered inflection in Yoongi’s voice when he mentioned Kun.

Yoongi nodded. “Unfortunately. When I first made it outside, he was holding onto her, dragging her away-”

“Dragging her where,” his hand that was holding yours involuntarily squeezed harder.

Yoongi shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, it looked like he was trying to take her to a car…”

Jungkook didn’t miss the way he trailed off. He waited for Yoongi to collect his thoughts.

“Jungkook, I- I think he may have been trying to abduct her.”

Jungkook felt like the room had suddenly tilted. The idea of that – God, the idea of anything remotely close to that – made him feel violently ill.

He looked at your face then, noticing how it wasn’t scrunched up in pain; you actually looked quite peaceful despite the circumstances, almost like you were simply in a deep slumber. He tried hard to swallow around the ever-growing lump that was still forming in his throat when he brushed his fingertips along the length of your arm.

You were here, physically here. He could see you and he could touch you. Yoongi had saved you in time before you had been whisked away to who knows where. The fact that Kun had even dared to try to take you away… the possibility of you being gone and Jungkook not knowing where you had been taken to or if he’d ever see you again-

It made Jungkook see red.

This isn’t the life he wanted for you. He never wanted you to have to look over your shoulder in fear at the idea of someone following you, like you’d been doing the last several weeks. He never ever wanted you to get hurt, especially in such a way as this.

He could feel anger flowing through his veins, seeping into his bones and consuming him, with the only thing able to ground him right now being the feeling of your soft hand enveloped by his own.

Yoongi was saying more but Jungkook couldn’t make it out over his own voice screaming at him inside his head. His mind was waging a war with itself, questioning so many things-

Was he really the best person for you?

Was there someone out there who could protect you, who could keep you safe in ways he couldn’t?

…

Would loving you be enough if he could never fully promise you peace?

What if-

“Jungkook,” Yoongi’s stern voice cut through the thick fog of his mind and Jungkook shook his head to try clear it completely. He focused his attention on his friend that was now staring at him, sporting a frown on his face full of concern.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

Jungkook gulped. “Honestly? No.”

Yoongi’s frown intensified. “Kook-”

“Don’t, just- please repeat it. Please.”

Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he continued. “I was saying that Kun threw her to the ground and that’s how she hit her head.”

Jungkook’s unoccupied hand balled into a fist and he clenched his jaw. Yoongi could see him tense up but continued speaking.

“I asked Jimin to fetch Jin seeing as he’s had more medical training than any of us and I figured it’d be better than waiting on an ambulance.”

He had barely gotten the last word out before there was hurried knocking on the door. Yoongi walked over to the door quickly to open it, and Jin rushed in without a moment’s hesitation.

“Sorry it took so long, I needed to get supplies.” He made his way to the couch, crouching down in front of it next to Jungkook. He placed the bag he was carrying down onto the ground beside him as he started sifting through it to find other things he needed. Jungkook watched Jin without really seeing him, flinching a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Kook,” Yoongi said softly as Jungkook looked up at him. “We need to let Jin look at her. C’mon,” he patted his shoulder before walking away, and Jungkook knew Yoongi expected him to follow him.

Jungkook also knew Yoongi was right, and he needed to let Jin get to work. He hated the thought of leaving you, but he knew he wasn’t going far. In fact, he wasn’t even going to leave the room, and if he was encouraged to, well-

There wasn’t anything anyone could do to make him leave that room short of physically removing him themselves. And with how wound up Jungkook was about this entire situation, that wouldn’t be an easy feat by any means.

Thankfully, Yoongi didn’t ask him to leave, opting instead to offer him his office chair. Jungkook graciously accepted the offer and sat down, briefly observing how Jin carefully examined you from across the room before he placed his head in his hands.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Some time passed before Jungkook felt like he could properly breathe again. And he was only feeling like that now because you had finally started to stir.

As soon as the faintest noise was heard from you, Jungkook was out of his seat and in front of the couch again.

You groaned as you rubbed your eyes, trying to adjust to the light by blinking a few times. After doing this, you tilted your head to the side and your eyes landed on Jungkook. He inhaled sharply, feeling like he might break apart when you gave him the sweetest smile.

“Koo,” you breathed out softly as your hand reached up to caress his cheek. He vaguely heard Jin telling Yoongi something about you still having decent control over your motor skills being a good sign, but right now all his focus was on you specifically.

Well, he was also focusing on not having a breakdown, but you were most important.

His hand came up to cover yours that was still on his face and for the first time in what felt like ages, his lips curved upward into a smile.

“Hey, angel,” he responded. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Well, my head hurts but otherwise I’m fine? A little sore, though-”

“That’s probably from your fall earlier,” Jin interrupted, pulling your attention back to him. You looked at him, bewildered.

“I fell? When did I fall?”

Yoongi and Jungkook shared a look then, and Jungkook would be lying if he said you not remembering what happened didn’t worry him.

It worried him a lot, actually.

Jin hummed. “We can talk about it later. I need to examine you now though, ok? Make sure you don’t have any signs of a concussion or something else.”

The scared look on your face made Jungkook’s chest tighten.

“O-ok, yeah, sure. Do whatever you need to,” you said as you tried to sit up straight, Jungkook and Jin both helping to steady you as you did.

It didn’t take long for Jin to conduct his examination. While he was checking you over, Yoongi relayed the events from earlier to you and Jungkook observed as the look in your eyes switched from one of confusion to one of horror the more Yoongi went on.

“I-I remember now. Right before you came out there, Kun told me-” you trailed off, speaking to Yoongi but looking over at Jungkook now. His heart started beating painfully when you paused.

“What did he tell you, baby?”

You inhaled unevenly, the sight tearing Jungkook up even more on the inside. “He told me that he wanted to see your reaction when I was nowhere to be found.”

This time, he swore his heart stopped.

So Kun had not only planned to take you away, but he wanted to make sure you couldn’t be found?

Jungkook made a promise to himself then and there that if he ever saw Kun again, he’d-

“Koo?”

Your pleading tone made Jungkook’s eyes snap back up to your face. You were trying to give him a small smile, but he could still see the fear lying behind your eyes.

“It’s going to be ok,” you attempted to reassure him. “Don’t worry.”

Jungkook had no idea how you could sit here an expect him not to worry but he didn’t want to fight you on it. You’d both had enough excitement for one night so all he did was nod and hope that would suffice for now.

His mind was starting to race again with the same kind of thoughts he had earlier, plaguing him with questions he didn’t know the answers to.

Frankly, he didn’t even know if he wanted the answers either.

Jin stood up from where he was seated on the floor, straightening himself up and stretching his long limbs. “She’s going to be fine. Just keep an eye on her for the next few days, but I don’t see anything to be alarmed about. If anything changes, you can call me but also if you’re more comfortable going to a hospital, that’s fine too. I won’t be offended.”

Jungkook smiled at his eldest friend. “Thank you, Jin. Seriously, thank you.”

Jin nodded, offering a warm smile to you before exiting the room.

Yoongi walked over to the couch and ruffled your hair. Jungkook watched the exchange with fondness, seeing two of the people he cared about most in the world also caring for each other.

“I’m so glad you’re ok,” Yoongi said, sounding utterly tired. You thanked him again for what he had done, and Jungkook left the two of you alone momentarily so he could check on Jimin and Hoseok at the bar. They entertained him for all of maybe 5 seconds before shooing him away, assuring him that they could handle things and that he should just take you home and be with you right now.

Jungkook thought nothing sounded better.

When he made it back to Yoongi’s office, he saw that you were now sitting on the armrest of the couch. Yoongi must have helped you get up from the couch, seeing as he was standing beside you, and Jungkook strode over to take his place now with an arm around your waist. Yoongi didn’t say anything about him leaving other than to wish you both a goodnight and that he would talk to Jungkook later.

Jungkook helped you walk to the car, not letting you go for even a fraction of a second, despite your teasing him about being able to walk on your own. Be that as it may, he still wouldn’t let go, because the truth of the matter was he was just too scared to.

It wasn’t until you were both in the car riding home that Jungkook let those negative thoughts devour him once more.

And this time, they were almost impossible to shake away.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

When both of you finally arrived home, Jungkook opened the door and surveyed the room before letting you go inside. You knew his paranoia was at an all-time high right now and frankly you couldn’t blame him; you were still really unsettled, too.

But you were more of the mindset that it’s in the past now and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You never liked to dwell too long on things and Jungkook was becoming better about that as well.

You weren’t sure if it’d be that easy this time, though.

He’d barely said a word to you the whole ride home, and even now as you were both standing by the front door while he locked it, he was still eerily quiet. Once it was sufficiently locked enough by Jungkook’s standards, he gave you one last look before he started walking down the hallway. You frowned and followed him.

“Koo?”

No response.

“Baby? Talk to me.” It looked like he was trying to go to the kitchen, but it was still dark in the house since he’d barely turned on any of the lights, so you weren’t sure. Still no answer.

“Jungkook.” You called out sternly this time and just barely spotted him as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he heard you walk in, he finally spoke.

“You should eat something, what do you want?”

His voice broke your heart.

“I’m not hungry-”

“You can go lay down, Jin said you didn’t have a concussion so it should be fine. I can bring some food up for you.” He was leaning against the counter in front of the sink, his back turned to you and his head hanging somewhat.

He sounded not at all like himself, and it scared you. Not in the way that you were scared of him, but you were scared because you didn’t know what to do.

Talking was obviously getting you nowhere, so you instead walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind, placing your cheek against his back. He flinched.

“Baby, please,” his voice sounded like it was breaking so you just held him tighter, hoping he could feel your love from the way you embraced him as if you never wanted to let him go.

“Koo, I need you to talk to me. I need to know what’s wrong-”

“What’s wrong is me,” he gritted out, tone louder than before and it made you jump. He then released himself from your arms and tried to walk away.

“Jungkook, wait,” you scrambled to go after him, catching him before he could disappear into another room, this time turning him around to face you. He was leaning against the wall and didn’t try to move past you anymore, but he avoided your gaze.

“Koo, look at me,” you stressed, ducking down to peek up at him. He finally raised his head so you could look into his eyes at a normal level. You noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes, and it nearly made you start crying yourself.

Jungkook never hid his vulnerability from you, he never hid anything from you. But even so, it was still a rare sight to see him cry.

“Why do you want to be around me right now,” he questioned, voice wavering and you recognized the sound. He was trying to hold himself back from crying.

“Koo, what do you mean, why wouldn’t I want to be around you? I love you-”

“I couldn’t protect you,” his voice rose in pitch, not to talk over you but because he was just so upset. “I couldn’t save you, I wasn’t around to help you- God, baby, you got fucking attacked and I wasn’t there.”

He was trembling and you tried to steady him by placing your hands on his shoulders. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks now, and they were bound to start pooling in your own eyes any second.

“None of that is your fault,” you emphasized your words by squeezing his shoulders. “Ok? No one could have predicted what that psycho was gonna do, not you, not me, not Yoongi, nobody.”

“For fuck’s sake, he almost kidnapped you-”

“But he didn’t and I’m here.” You brushed his cheek to wipe some of the tears away and he choked back a sob. “I’m here, with you, and that’s what matters.”

“I could have lost you,” he said it just above a whisper as you moved to brush the tears away from his other cheek.

You blinked back your own tears. “You didn’t lose me.”

“But I could have. We have no idea what the fuck he’s capable of and just- every time I think about what might have happened if no one got to you in time, I start to lose my mind.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and reached up on your tip-toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, heart lurching when he actually kissed you back and his hands found purchase on your waist as they usually did.

“You didn’t lose me. You have me. All of me. I’m right here,” you kissed him once more. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Jungkook let out a sob as he pulled you closer, nearly crushing you with his embrace. You ran your hand through his hair to try and soothe him when he leaned his forehead on your shoulder.

“I was so fucking scared,” he said against your skin. “So terrified. I love you so much,” a tender kiss was placed on the side of your neck now, and you could feel his lips still trembling.

“I love you,” your response prompted another small sob from him, “I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world and I’ll show you that everyday for the rest of my life, as long as you let me.”

“Baby-” Jungkook’s voice cracked with so much raw emotion and you couldn’t help yourself anymore. You were determined to show him your conviction behind your statement, so with your hand still buried in his hair, you pulled him down to your level once more as you crashed your lips together.

You’d never felt anything quite like the emotions that coursed through you every single time you kissed Jungkook. It didn’t matter if it was the cute good morning kisses upon waking up, the silly, laughter-filled ones that happened in the midst of playing around, or the intense ones bursting with passion that always led to something more. Each one was different and better than the last, and it was like a language between you both filled with unspoken words that demonstrated exactly what you felt.

This was one of the many ways the two of your expressed your devotion to one another, through an action as simple as kissing yet the feelings it always evoked inside of you were anything but. And even during times like tonight when you’d both endured something extremely emotional, you could still find comfort in each other through these gestures.

When you finally broke apart, you were both panting breathlessly, and Jungkook rested his forehead against yours.

“Sorry, baby,” Jungkook breathed, voice somewhat raspy. His fingers had started gripping your waist harder during the exchange, but you felt them start to loosen.

That was most definitely something you didn’t want, so you placed your hands on the sides of his face and looked him in the eyes.

“Koo,” you spoke softly, cautiously, as if you were testing the waters. “Can I give you all of me?”

His eyes sparkled with the realization of what you were implying, and for a moment you wondered if he would reject you. And if he did, that would be completely fine with you because his comfort mattered most of all to you right now, as it always did. Tonight had been a lot to deal with and you weren’t sure what mindset he would be in about this sort of thing-

That thought remained unfinished in your mind as Jungkook captured your lips again and all other rational thought went out the window. All you could focus on now was how Jungkook’s body felt melded up against yours, how his mouth was exploring yours like he’d done so many times before, how his fingers dug into your skin like he was afraid to let you go.

You jumped up and Jungkook wrapped your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss while he turned you around so that your back was against the wall. You heard a low groan come from him as you intensified the kiss before he pulled away.

“Angel, are you sure about this?” He was holding you up with help from the wall, hands placed on your thighs just underneath your ass. Your hand was playing with the hair at the nape of his neck since you knew how much he loved that. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you-”

“Koo, I’m fine. I feel fine and I’m not in pain. I promise. I want this. I want you,” you gave him another searing kiss that you felt yourself melting into. “But only if you want it too.”

Jungkook’s next kiss knocked the breath out of you and he swallowed the surprised whimper you let out. “Of course, baby. I always want you.”

His words never failed to make you feel warm all over, with love and adoration as well as arousal. Right now, you were feeling all of these things as he situated your legs around his waist in a more comfortable position.

“Do you want to do this here,” he panted as his eyes met yours again. You could tell he was getting worked up just having you like this here against the wall, so you wasted no time answering him.

“Yes Koo, please,” you urged him to continue. “Wanna feel you close. Don’t wanna wait.”

“Fuck, I mean, I could take us upstairs-” his words ended with a grunt as you drew him closer by wrapping your legs tighter around him, making him grind against you. His head dipped down to rest against your shoulder as he let out shallow breaths, his fingers threatening to make indentations in your skin.

In a somewhat frenzied manner, Jungkook put you back down on your feet so the both of you could remove your clothes, too impatient to take everything off and only getting rid of what was necessary. When both of your lower halves were bare, he secured you around his waist once more, his length rapidly hardening against your now naked thigh.

You reached in between the two of you to wrap your hand around him, and the feeling was enough to have him inhaling sharply before he kissed you with a newfound urgency. You could tell by the way he was moaning against your mouth that your teasing caresses were working and within no time he was ready. You let out a stuttered moan when Jungkook’s long fingers disappeared inside of you so he could make sure you were stretched enough.

When he deemed you prepped enough – and when you started rocking against his fingers with impatient whimpers – he withdrew so he could line himself up with you. Your already soaked folds were threatening to pull him in, and it was almost too much for him to handle in his heightened emotional state.

He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, as he always did. The stretch made you lean your head back against the wall, his soft curses only spurring you on even more. On other nights you might would try to coax him to be a little rougher because you knew you could take it, but tonight you weren’t in a rush for anything, and neither was he. Tonight was about you two being together as one, relishing the way you shared this connection with each other and conveying it through this intimate act.

Both of you sighed in pleasure when Jungkook bottomed out, finally experiencing that complete closeness the two of you craved more than anything else right now. His hands gripped your ass firmly to start moving you up and down his length in slow, steady strokes. He didn’t want to take things fast or go hard tonight – he just wanted to enjoy this feeling, having you so close and yet still wanting to pull you impossibly closer.

The feeling of your warmth around him mixed with the tousling of your hands in his hair was driving him crazy. Every touch from you, no matter how small, always ignited something within him that he couldn’t explain. He was so unapologetically, wholeheartedly in love with you.

And he’d just come so close to losing you.

Pain twisted his heart as he stared at you, watching your face scrunch up in the most beautiful way. Your head was tilted back with your eyes crinkled shut while his name was falling from your lips in hushed whispers. Each thrust was pushing you further up the wall before he would bring you back down again, and your arms wound themselves around his neck to help anchor yourself further.

You looked ethereal, and Jungkook was trying so hard to focus on you and not the negative thoughts that were once again settling uncomfortably in his mind. His body was fighting itself on whether he should succumb to the pleasure he was feeling or if he should submit to the dark cloud blanketing his mind.

His change in demeanor didn’t go unnoticed by you.

Jungkook continued to move inside of you, keeping a consistent pace, but something wasn’t right. He was looking at you, but he wasn’t looking at you. He had a pained expression on his face, and that’s what kicked your own worry into gear.

“Koo, baby, hey what’s wrong?” You held his face in both of your hands and watched as he crumbled underneath your touch. He had slid his hands up to rest against your back now in an attempt to embrace you further, hands trapped in between you and the wall.

You almost started panicking when you saw the tears start to brim in his eyes again.

“I just-” he choked on a cry and your heart wrenched at the sound, “I can’t stop thinking about it.” He was still moving but his pace had slowed down to a near stop.

“Thinking about what?” You weren’t sure you wanted to know but you needed him to talk to you.

“Thinking about losing you, I can’t-”

His hands reached up higher to grasp onto your shirt you were still wearing, clenching the fabric in his fists as he dragged it down. You could feel the collar of the front of your shirt tightening around you while he hid his head in the crook of your neck and started to shake. You wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could and ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe him.

“Please stay,” he whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. “Please stay with me.”

“Koo-”

“I love you so much, I don’t want to lose you,” more sobs wracked through his body. He had otherwise stilled inside of you but made no effort to move away. “I can’t lose you, I-”

“Baby, look at me.”

Jungkook slowly brought his head up to face you, the sight making you want to break down yourself. He looked so defeated, so broken, and his eyes were shining with tears he didn’t bother hiding anymore.

You cradled his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones before they travelled to trace along the curves of his jawline.

You placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, listening as he tried to control his erratic breathing. “I won’t leave you.”

A soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll never leave you.”

You brushed his hair back from his face, and his eyes captivated you as they swirled with so much intense emotion.

“I promised you forever, and I intend to keep it. Nothing, and no one, is going to keep me from you. I love you too much to let that happen,” you granted him a sweet smile and brushed your thumb across his lower lip that had started to quiver. He sniffled as you continued.

“Do you remember our wedding vows?”

Jungkook swallowed as he nodded, seeming a little calmer now.

Your smile widened, and your own set of fresh tears had gathered in the corners of your eyes, ready to spill. “Remember how I told I would give you all of me? That I would give you the best of me?”

He nodded again, and your heart soared at the tiny smile he presented you with.

“I promised you those things. So, no matter what happens, I’ll never leave you. And with everything life throws as us from here on out, we’ll make it through together.”

His smile was widening into the familiar, bunny-like grin you knew and loved dearly. Your Jungkook was coming back to you, and it was almost like you could see the dark fog that had surrounded him evaporating before your very eyes.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook.” You leaned up to tenderly press your lips to his once more, smiling into the kiss as he let out a content sigh. “You’re my person. My forever. Please always remember that.”

You had swept a long lock of hair back from his face as you finished your words, and while you were distracted with that, Jungkook stared at you like you hung the moon and all the stars.

Your declarations of love stirred something inside of him and it dawned on him then that he was still inside of you. This was made more evident when you shifted in his embrace, probably to make yourself more comfortable since you were still against the wall, but it caused your walls to clench around him.

He closed his eyes and groaned, the sound causing arousal to radiate throughout your body. The two of you clearly must have forgotten the position you were in but that was no longer the case when you felt him twitch inside of you.

“Fuck,” he moaned at the sight of you when he opened his eyes again, his hands letting go of your shirt in favor of settling on your waist. Your cheeks were still flushed, with drying tear stains running down them. You were panting softly and Jungkook’s heart felt like it might burst with all the love he had for you.

“I love you,” he declared while he brushed his nose with yours. “And I honestly cannot believe I forgot I was fucking you, like how does that even happen.”

You giggled, kissing the tip of his nose before you drew back to rest contentedly against the wall. “I’m not sure, but do you perhaps want to finish what we started?”

You moved your hips as best you could at your current angle, and it pushed his cock further inside you, making you both moan at the action. He captured one of your hands in his and brought it up to place a kiss on your knuckles.

“Will you still let me give you all of me,” you reiterated your phrase from earlier in the night before all of this started. Jungkook’s eyes had darkened now with lust and he gave you a sly smile.

“Always, baby,” was his response. “Question now though,” he leaned down to let his lips ghost along your neck, making you shiver, “is can you take all of me?”

You tugged on his hair for him to look up at you, making him hiss in the process. You gave him your best challenging stare, and hoped it was convincing.

“Always,” you copied him, “I can easily take anything you give me.”

Jungkook arched an eyebrow and you felt his length twitch at your words. “Is that so?

You barely had time to nod before he was pinning your hand that he was holding on the wall beside your head, his other one gripping your waist hard enough now you knew it would leave a mark.

He pulled out almost all the way before he thrusted back into you hard, making you whine embarrassingly loud. He chuckled dark and low then, squeezing your hand as he intertwined your fingers.

“Too much for you, angel?” Jungkook knew he couldn’t keep this up forever and that he’d eventually crack himself, but he never missed an opportunity to tease you like this. “Thought you said you could take everything I give you.”

You nodded vigorously, not an easy feat with your head leaning against the wall. “I can, I can take it,” you breathed out, clenching around him to try and persuade him to move again. He stuttered out a low moan, determined to not lose his composure just yet.

“Yeah? You sure? Does that mean you want more?” He was shallowly moving inside of you at a torturously slow pace, the drag of his cock against your walls pulling a loud noise of desperation from your throat.

“Please,” you begged, not even caring how desperate you sounded. You just wanted to feel him, all of him, and your core throbbed at the thought of him finally relenting and fucking you how you wanted. “Please give it to me. Please give me more.”

“Fuck, baby, I love hearing you beg for me,” Jungkook moaned, readjusting his grip on your hip. “Gonna give you exactly what you want.”

He hungrily kissed you for a few moments, sinking further into you before he pulled back, panting as he placed his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“Angel?” His voice was low and just the tone alone made you clench.

“Y-yes?”

He opened his eyes and smiled. “You might wanna hold on tight.”

You just had enough time to wrap your unoccupied arm around his back before he started pounding into you like his life depended on it. He slammed into you repeatedly, making you scream out his name over and over again whenever he’d hit that bundle of nerves inside of you. You gripped his shirt to have something to ground yourself with, and your eyes rolled back as he increased his pace.

Jungkook was grunting into your skin, teeth grazing against your neck. “You feel so fucking good, always so tight and perfect for me, my perfect angel.” He squeezed your hand hard enough that his knuckles were taut, but it didn’t hurt you. If anything, it turned you on more because he was finally letting go, caring more about just being in the moment with you than potentially hurting you.

And you knew he still did care about that, he always would; he was Jungkook, after all. But time and time again you had pleaded with him to stop handling you like you would break under the slightest amount of pressure. This was the first time he did without hesitation or working himself up to it.

And you fucking loved it.

In fact, it was overwhelming enough to the point where you knew you weren’t going to last long at all with the way he was drilling into you. All the emotions the two of you had endured tonight mixed with the passionate entanglement you found yourself wrapped up in now, it was no surprise that you were hurtling toward your undoing at a very fast pace.

“Koo, baby, oh my God-” you finally found your voice again, running your nails down his back, hard enough that if he hadn’t been still wearing his shirt, you’re sure it would have left scratch marks.

“Fuck, angel, can feel you around me, always so good for me,” his tongue darted out past his lips before he captured your bottom one between his teeth and tugged on it gently. “Always my good girl.”

His words made you spasm around him, and he moaned loudly at the feeling, eyes fluttering shut. His damp hair was falling into his face so you brushed it back, gasping at the sight of him.

You’d seen Jungkook like this many times before, but this time? This time was different.

A few curls were still framing his face but he had his head tilted back and his lips parted as the most amazing sounds escaped from them. His brows were furrowed and he looked almost pained, but in a completely different way than he had earlier that night.

Your heart ached at the memory, but you didn’t have long to think about it before he pulled you more flush against his chest, now opting to grab your ass with both hands so he could move you up and down his cock with his strength alone.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, “I love you so much, angel, just wanna stay with you like this forever.” He was speeding up again and with the new angle, your body felt like it was on fire. You couldn’t even make a noise as the stimulation kept hitting you in wave after wave.

“You said earlier,” Jungkook continued, a little breathless now but never letting up on his powerful thrusts, “that I was – fuck – that I was your person.”

You nodded, still not really able to say anything or make any sound because your orgasm was approaching fast and you didn’t want it to happen so soon. Not until you knew he was there with you.

“Did you mean it,” he asked, hooded eyes trying to search yours. You kissed him with all the strength you could muster, swallowing down his moans as your walls clenched around him.

“Of course I did. I meant everything I said earlier.” A high-pitched moan tore itself from your throat when his hips snapped into you harder at your words.

“Fuck, it always does something to me when you say things like that,” he was losing his composure now, you could tell it by the way he sounded.

His admission made you chuckle fondly. “You know, you said something similar the first time we were together.”

Jungkook opened his eyes to stare at you and grinned at the memory. “Yeah, I did. Meant it then and I mean it now too.”

“I’m glad I still have that kind of effect on you,” you responded, breaking off to moan loudly at a harsher thrust. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened, and he increased his pace, finally pulling you over the edge.

“You do, holy shit, you really do. I hope I can say the same- fuck,” Jungkook knew you were close with the way your walls kept spasming around him every few seconds. “Gonna cum for me, baby?”

You nodded and whined, holding onto his shirt for dear life while he rocked you through the first stages of your euphoric bliss. He was panting right by your ear now, the sounds making your eyes roll back.

“Go on, cum for me then. Fucking love when you cum all over my cock,” Jungkook’s filthy words had you moaning out his name. “My beautiful angel,” he continued, pulling down the collar of your shirt slightly so he could place a kiss on your collarbone. “Always so pretty for me.”

“Fuck, I’m close, Koo, want you there with me,” you opened your eyes in time to see him pulling his lip between his teeth.

“I’m right there, baby, let go for me,” he reached in between the two of you and barely brushed your clit before your sudden orgasm made you clench so hard around him that he had to throw his head back and let out a guttural moan.

“Angel, fuuuuck, I’m right there, I’m-” you crashed your lips against his and swallowed down every loud noise he made, feeling his lips tremble against yours as his hips stuttered when he filled you up with his release.

He broke apart from you with a gasp, leaning his head back and letting out a strained “holy fuck” before he looked at you again. He slowed down now, thrusting a few more times before he stilled completely, breathing hard.

He moved you away from the wall, and you thought he might put you down but instead he tightened your legs more securely around him and walked the two of you over to the nearest bathroom to shower, his lips never leaving yours the whole way there.

Thank fuck Jungkook had such great muscle memory and knew where he was going because you definitely couldn’t have pulled that off.

He stayed inside you until he was able to put you in the shower, helping you discard the rest of your clothes before he did the same and joined you. It was your usual ritual and preferred form of aftercare since the water from the shower soothed any sore muscles and it helped you get clean in the process. Not to mention it was another way for you to be close to Jungkook, him only reiterating that truth now and he pulled your back against his chest so he could massage shampoo into your hair.

“Love you,” he whispered softly, placing a kiss on your temple since you leaned your head back at the feeling of his touch. He treated you so delicately now, the complete opposite of how he was just fucking you up against the wall. You loved moments like this just as much, always receptive to everything Jungkook did, every touch that flittered across your skin.

“I love you,” was your response as you turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss. He smiled into it, his fingertips brushing against the skin right above your waist.

After your shower, Jungkook carried you upstairs, ignoring your attempts at getting him to put you down because as you told him repeatedly your legs worked just fine and you could walk by yourself. His response?

“Don’t care, still wanna carry you.”

All you could do then was huff, pulling a laugh from the man you loved so much, the sound always beautiful and able to make your heart skip a beat.

When you were both snuggled into bed, you found it hard to sleep. There were still things you two needed to discuss, but you didn’t have the energy – and not really the want – right now to bring them up.

However, Jungkook did.

“Hey,” he was running his hand through your hair as you were laying your head on his shoulder. You hummed in response.

“I’m sorry,” he started, and before you could interrupt he quickly went on. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, but I’m also sorry about how I acted earlier.”

“Koo, it’s fine-”

“Please don’t,” his eyes were pleading and you let him continue.

“It’s not fine, it’s- I get in my head sometimes and it can be hard to come back from that. You’re always able to bring me back, but tonight…fuck, it was bad.” There was a frown on his face now and you tried to make it disappear by placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I kept thinking about how maybe I’m not the best for you-”

You couldn’t help interrupting this time. “Jungkook, you are the best for me.”

“We don’t know that though-”

“I don’t have to, because I know in my heart that you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we have the best life together, the same as I’ll do for you.” You brushed a curl out of his face before you continued, “Only for you.”

He cracked a smile. “That’s my line.”

You shrugged, giggling when Jungkook began trying to poke your sides. “Regardless though, I don’t want you feeling that way. You’re enough, Jungkook, you’re more than enough.”

His smile widened. “Really?”

“Really.” You thought about it for a second. “What can I do to convince you?”

He raised an eyebrow, eyes full of mischief. “Well, I can think of a way…” he said in a suggestive tone, making you roll your eyes before you turned away from him. His laughter fell on your ears and you couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your face.

“Hey, c’mon, you know I’m just kidding,” he turned you to face him again, running his hand up and down your side now.

“No you’re not,” you snorted.

He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Ok, you’re right- but I know you’re too tired so I’m half kidding? Sorta?”

It was your turn to laugh then, huddling closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his throat.

His hands found their way into your hair again, and he continued to run them through the strands long enough that you almost fell asleep until he spoke up again.

“We need to do something about him, though.”

The way he said ‘him’ let you know exactly who he was talking about.

You nodded, sliding your head up to lay in the crook of his neck. “We will. But that’s a problem for another day. Right now,” you yawned, “we need sleep.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll stay up a little bit to make sure you’re ok. Jin said it was a good idea for tonight, anyway.”

You were already nuzzling deeper into his embrace, barely registering his words. “Mm-hmm,” came your sluggish response. “Goodnight, Koo.”

“Night, baby,” was his last response you heard before slumber took over, the feeling of his strong arms around you more comforting than anything else you’d ever known.

Jungkook stayed awake for a few hours, listening to your soft snoring and observing you as you slept peacefully. There was a gentle ache tugging at his heart as he remembered everything that you’d been through that night, but when you unconsciously snuggled closer, he felt the ache dissipate.

He made a promise to himself that whatever happened in the future, he would be there for you. He would keep you as safe as he could, and love you with everything he had.

After all, you were his person, just as he was yours, and he hoped that’s how it would stay.

#bts #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #ofy drabble

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kaidenya · 3 years

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Yandere Types ✧ MHA

Description: A breakdown of the types of yandere I think the MHA characters would be like. I will be using the Yandere Chart that I created in order assign each characters type and danger level. Part One :: Hanta Sero, Shoto Todoroki, & Tamaki Amajiki,

WARNING: yandere content, toxic relationships, v light smut NOTE: kidnapping, non-con, violence, in order of danger level, not proof-read, a shit post really

“If I can’t have you, no one can...”

HANTA SERO — 16

Motive :: Isolating (3)

Behavior :: Possessive (6)

Executions :: Wrong Idea Type (2) | Monopoly Type (5)

Hanta Sero is extremely charismatic and many find it very easy to relax around him. Most people wouldn’t think the ability to fit in with any crowd was a disadvantage, but it had left Hanta with a shaking fear that he couldn't stand out among his peers. That was the last thing an aspiring pro-hero needed while trying to climb to the top. It’s because of this lack of control in his social life that his yandere motive would be isolating you. He would wish to keep you away from all things that could potentially draw your attention away.

It wouldn’t take much to catch Sero’s interest. He’s a wrong idea type which means the shortest interaction can spark his interest- whether it's lending him a pen in a moment of need or smiling at him in passing. He would very much like to keep you safe, more so if you’ve been open to his advances. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he offered you substances such as cannabis or alcohol to speed up the process of you growing comfortable in his presence. He would get physical faster than most as he is naturally a touchy person, most likely going down on you multiple times before attempting to get pleasure from you. Hanta is very intelligent, it would be relatively easy for him to earn your favor, and making sure you are constantly satisfied would be a major factor. Besides, he has a wicked mouth that would murmur sweet nothings as he sucked and licked at your arousal making it nearly impossible for you to think about anything else.

You would not doubt that Hanta had your best interest in mind. Even when he would express his concerns about the intentions of others. He would appeal to your logic and be sure you knew how much you meant to him— how he couldn’t lose you. Of course, he was always right about the ones you decided to keep around despite his warnings. Whether they made you uncomfortable, turned their backs on you, or vanished completely- you always lost contact with them. By the time you've started to run low on outside connections, you wouldn't mind pushing people away. Hanta Sero would be your constant. Besides, his peace of mind meant more to you than certain relationships and you were sure he'd do the same for you.

SHOTO TODOROKI — 17

Motive :: Submissive (1)

Behavior :: Overprotective (5)

Executions :: Obsession Type (3) | Self-Sacrifice Type (8)

Shoto Todoroki is motivated by his family trauma. There is no doubt that he is touch-starved and desperate for affection, beneath his hard protective exterior, of course. He looks at life through a calm and calculating gaze. On the off chance that he came in contact with someone who caught his interest, he would keep his distance, which is for the best considering his social cues are severely lacking. He would most likely be the one to watch you for the longest before making a move. Shoto would be sure to look out for you without making it on your radar. There would be times he would even go as far as to turn away your potential suitor or lead you away from an upperclassman prank. His infatuation would only grow with time, but there would be a breaking moment where his yandere behavior worsens. It would be a particularly heartfelt moment between you, whether it's sharing a traumatic moment or assisting with an injury, that would push him past the point of no return. He would be obsessed.

Todoroki's overprotective nature would take an aggressive turn when he would catch others interacting with you. It didn't matter if they had glanced your way for a beat too long or went as far as to seek out your attention. By the time he began courting you, rather than just watching from afar, you would begin noticing the changes in his behavior. Specifically when others were around. There would be a point when he told you not to interact with certain classmates. His social understandings would be his downfall as he wouldn’t note your negative reaction. Not until you stand up to him. After that, you could expect plenty of gifts and apologies. He would so clearly feel guilty and stop at nothing to make sure you knew that, to the extent that you almost feel wrong for being so upset. He was just worried that he would lose you.

The turn in your relationship would be when you grew intimate. Oddly enough you would have to be the one to take this next step in your relationship. However, once he's given free rein to touch you, he won't stop. Shoto isn’t the type to plan for one romantic relationship, let alone anything after his first love, so the moment he slid his cock into your tight, wet concave he would own you.

TAMAKI AMAJIKI — 24

Motive :: Isolating (4)

Behavior :: Obsessive (3)

Executions :: Stalker Type (6) | Worship Type (10)

Tamaki Amajiki is rarely sure of himself or his actions despite his undeniable intelligence and talent. He had taken to hiding in the shadow of his peers, though that was difficult with best friends who pushed him into the spotlight. Being a member of the Big Three only drew the attention of more. It was safe to say that his anxious personality could be a setback. However, it also made him very observant. Through that observance, he can decypher environments and body language much faster than most. He liked to stand back and watch- to feel the tension around him. That tension would be suffocating when he officially met you. It could be a number of instances. After Nejire had knocked his books from his hands in a fit of excitement, arms swinging and sending the stack right to your feet. Or perhaps Mirio would be bursting into laughter, cheerfully slapping his arm and sending him tumbling into your around a sharp turn. Either way, he would be a stuttering mess. If you met his apologies with soft smiles or reassurance it would surely set his gears turning.

It would be his lack of confidence that encouraged his yandere-like behavior, specifically stalking. Within a week he would be able to put together your schedule and your locker location. How he hadn’t noticed you before would remain a mystery as he would begin seeing you everywhere. Some days he would fall into step with you, keeping a safe distance as he marveled at your routine behavior. As time went on he would feel more confident in closing that distance. It would remain that way for a few months until something pushed his interest into a fixation. Every good quality that you possessed would become far more impressive to him and spur him to get closer— to learn more. He would begin breaking into your personal items be that your locker or bedroom, it didn't matter as long as he got closer to you. It wouldn't be surprising if Mirio and Neijire had started to notice the way his gaze would linger. They would take it upon themselves to reach out to you without realizing the severity of the situation.

The tipping point for his yandere behavior would a moment of absolute panic. You would have already grown close, fully integrated with the Big Three, when you would begin spending time with another student. Tamaki would be able to contain his jealousy when it came to his friends, but someone outside of that close-knit group? He would see them as a direct threat and he would deal with it accordingly. In the beginning, he would explain how he feels comfortable with you, making sure you knew how different you compared to others. That would most likely lead to the two of you spending more time alone. If that didn't keep the threat at bay then he would waste no more time, prompting threatening or attacking them. In the long run, the only thing that would ruin his hold over you would be pushing too many people away and getting caught, but he would deal with that the best way he knew how.

#sero x reader #shoto x reader #tamaki x reader #hanta sero x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader #mha x reader #mha headcanons #yandere #yandere:hanta #yandere:shoto #yandere:tamaki

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stratiotis-nth · 3 years

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Castiel has been able to see Glimpses of people’s future when he meets them for the first time—specifically when he first makes eye contact. It’s the big family secret and Castiel hates that he’s the one stuck with it. It’s infuriating—Gabriel asks if Castiel could make eye contact with some hot guy or girl to see if he’ll get lucky, and Castiel ignores him every time.

He doesn’t see the person’s entire life when he looks like them. It’s more like…a tsunami of information. Sometimes it’s images or feelings or sounds. Usually, Castiel can’t make heads or tails of what he experienced, so he stopped trying to interpret them a long time ago.

At this point, the flood of information is an annoyance, and he’s done his best to just avoid eye contact altogether.

Maybe that’s why Castiel is so quiet and keeps to himself. He doesn’t like meeting new people if only to avoid the data dump of another person’s future. He’s thankful he doesn’t get Glimpses when he looks at anyone he’s already Glimpsed, because he’s never be able to look Gabriel in the face. And anyone who Castiel had accidentally Glimpsed before have long since disappeared from his life, and Castiel is such a recluse that he hasn’t had a new friend in years.

Until Gabriel was an annoying asshole.

His older brother practically wrestled Castiel out of the house they shared to go clubbing. It had been a close fight and Castiel had gotten damn well near to biting Gabriel’s arm—but he eventually lost because Gabriel threatened to trample Castiel’s carefully cultivated garden in the backyard.

For the sake of his plants, Castiel reluctantly ducked into Gabriel’s obnoxiously bright red Camero.

“This is a stupid idea.” He grumbled, crossing his arms and keeping his hands tucked firmly against himself. “I’m just going to be standing there staring at the floor like an idiot.”

“No, you’re gonna keep that chin up and meet some people, Cassie.” Gabriel said briskly as they drove to Downtown. “Glimpsing a few people isn’t gonna change your life. You need friends, my bumbling, weirdo brother.”

“I can live my life just fine without friends, Gabriel.” Castiel snapped. “I have you, my cat, and my garden. I work from home and can support myself if needs be. What else do I need?”

Gabriel sighed.

“You’ll always have me, Cassie.” He said. “But have you ever thought about what you want?”

No. Of course he hadn’t. Castiel hadn’t had the luxury of knowing what he wanted since he first discovered the Glimpses.

“Your Glimpses shouldn’t be what stops you from having a life, little bro.” Gabriel continued firmly. They were in Downtown now, string lights lighting the two way street and neon signs making the air gleam in multicolor. Castiel’s chest clenched with anxiety, carefully avoiding the stream of bodies moving up and down the sidewalks in case he made eye contact with as passers by.

Gabriel pulled into the VIP spot of his nightclub, Sugar+Spice and grinned at Castiel.

“C’mon, brosky, time to swim amongst the fishes.” To complete Gabriel’s inspiring speech, he slapped two condoms into Castiel’s hand and ducked out of the car before he could throw them back.

Grumbling under his breath about invasive brothers, Castiel begrudgingly followed Gabriel through the back entrance of the club.

It was loud, hot, and chaotic. Despite not having made eye contact with anyone yet, Castiel’s senses were immediately overloaded with noise and light. He could barely hear Gabriel over the din, risking a glance up in an effort to read his lips.

This way. He seemed to be shouting. Gabriel grabbed his hand and tugged him along anyway. Castiel allowed himself to be dragged, bumping through a crowd of people with his eyes fixed on their passing feet.

Gabriel took him up to a slightly quieter, less crowded second floor and sat him down at the bar.

“Alfie!” Gabriel called to the bartender, rapping his knuckles on the glass bar top. “Dirty Shirley for my fruity brother!”

“Gabriel!” Castiel hissed. He didn’t necessarily care if people knew he was gay, but he didn’t want Gabriel going on trying to get him laid.

“Coming up, boss.” Alfie called, already moving nonstop and smoothly as he tended to the other patrons lining his bar top.

“See ya, Cassie.” Gabriel clapped his shoulder. Castiel’s heart seized with terror.

“Gabriel, don’t you dare—“

“Sorry little bro, I’ve got club owner responsibilities to attend to.”

And then, Castiel was alone. Alfie’s slim hand set a red-pink colored drink in front of him and moved on before Castiel could think he would wait a second for a thanks. He was probably too busy to care for social expectations like please and thank you.

Castiel didn’t know how long he had sat there, hunched over his drink and staring at the bar top resolutely. Gabriel could drag his ass into public, but he couldn’t make him talk to people.

People seemed to catch the hint to leave him alone, or maybe Alfie had warned them against it before Castiel could sense their presence. Some tried, though, but Castiel just shook his head. That was usually enough to leave him be.

It was well after 1 AM when he’d finally had enough sitting around and staring at his drink to ward off horny one nighters. He stood, determined to find Gabriel and force him to take him home. He was tired, anxious, and terrified of this place and of people. He didn’t like Glimpsing—it was like intruding into their privacy and instead of doing it intentionally like how a burglar would invade a home, it was hurled at him when he didn’t want it. The last time Castiel had Glimpsed, the images and noises had been too much. It had overloaded his mind and nearly made him pass out from the onslaught.

The last time he had Glimpsed was the first time he’d met a future serial killer. One could imagine why Castiel didn’t like Glimpsing anymore.

He pushed his way through the crowd, trying to find Gabriel’s recognizable white dress shoes amongst the writhing sea of legs and lower bodies.

Castiel finally reached the stairs, the door swinging shut and blessedly blocking out the din of the dance floor. The peaceful silent lasted for only a moment, though.

“Whoa, Jesus!”

Castiel slammed into a very solid form and went tumbling backwards, his back hitting the bottom staircase with a painful thud before he toppled back onto the concrete floor.

“Shit, shit, shit! I’m so sorry! Jesus fuck, here, lemme help—“

The person he collided into was scrabbling down the last few stairs, kneeling over him and grabbing his arms.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

Castiel’s entire body was ringing with the aftershock of his fall. His back throbbed painfully, already promising a nice purpling welt.

Maybe it was the pain, or maybe the ringing in his head muted out higher reason, or maybe just fate, but Castiel drifted his gaze to stare at the person who had run into him.

The moment he met the pair of green eyes the color of matcha and wild grass, he was assaulted with an onslaught of Glimpses.

Warm, comforting yellow and orange, the color that light up a home on a cozy, winter night.

The sizzle, pop and bang of fireworks in a dewy field, ringing with a pair of laughter. Bursting, bright colors lighting up a starry sky.

Metallic, greasy smell of an auto shop, the sharp chemical scent of acrylic paint, the words Winchester Auto in neon lights on the top of a busy garage and art studio.

But the main image, the one that always came through crystal clear when he had a Glimpse—

was Castiel himself.

He couldn’t force the image away, or what followed after.

It was Castiel, looming over the man’s point of view with his arms braced on either of his vision. His own face was slack with pleasure as his entire body moved up and down in a very obvious thrusting motion. His eyes were bright and wide and so full of something warm and gentle and careful that Castiel didn’t believe he could ever really do that.

He closed his eyes, willing the main image and surrounding flashes of senses to fade.

“Dude, please tell me you’re okay.” The man fretted, his hands now cupping Castiel’s face and shaking slightly. The way the man was leaning over him looked so much like how Castiel was leaning in the Glimpse that it brought him back to himself.

He sat bolt upright, smacking foreheads with the man and immediately making himself dizzy again.

“Ow.” They both mumbled. The guy scrambled back to give Castiel some space.

“You okay, man?” The guy asked again, staring at him with wide eyes. Castiel’s first reaction was to advert his eyes, but this time for an entirely different reason than the Glimpse. His cheeks burned with the embarrassment of what he had just witnessed.

“Yes.” He managed, but it sounded strained. The man, apparently took that strain as pain instead of mortification.

“Oh shit, you’re probably all banged up, shit. Did the stair hit your back? Did it break the skin?” Suddenly, warm hands were gingerly touching his lower back, feeling for the welt already swelling. Electrical shocks rippled under his skin despite the layers of clothes between him and the hand, but Castiel hissed sharply when the pressure of his fingers hit the welt.

“Sorry, hang on. Don’t move too much, not until I can be sure you didn’t break anything.” The guy was completely unfazed by touching Castiel. It was a gentle touch, but definitely clinical. Was this guy a nurse? Doctor?

“I used to be a paramedic.” The guy answered Castiel’s unspoken speculation. He gently pressed around the welt. “Anything hurt?”

“No.” Castiel managed faintly, his brain already providing unhelpful scenarios where the man’s hand drifted lower and suddenly his last Glimpse was coming true right then and there—

“Okay, I don’t think anything’s broken.” The guy said, sounding relieved. “Can you stand?”

“Yes. It’s just a bruise.” Castiel said, his defenses rising with the determination to never allow that last Glimpse to come true. There were too many risks, too many dangers associated with having friends, let alone pursue a romantic relationship. For this man’s sake and for Castiel’s sanity, he would do everything in his power to stop that Glimpse from happening.

“I’m alright, thank you.” He said quickly, stepping back to allow an acceptable amount of space between him and the man.

“Okay, uh, good.” The guy said, ducking his head sheepishly.

Please don’t. Castiel begged helplessly, staring as the man glanced up at him through his lashes. He was undeniably gorgeous. Light brown hair styled lightly and freckled, tanned skin. Those enrapturing green eyes that made Castiel want to smother himself in that very shade, framed by long lashes. Plush pink lips and a little scruff that Castiel wanted to feel on his skin. Broad shoulders filled a worn leather jacket over a flannel and Henley. Oil-stained jeans and scuffed boots. Rugged and beautiful.

What the hell did future Castiel do to secure a night with this man? How did an awkward, nobody with a fear of people manage to have sex with this perfect, gorgeous man who could get anyone he wanted?

“Sorry about that, man. I swear I don’t go running into hot guys as a pick up line.”

Castiel’s jaw dropped, and the man went very red when he realized what he’d said.

“Ah, fuck. I-I didn’t mean, that’s n-not—shit, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that—“

“It’s alright.” Castiel cut him off hastily. “I’ve actually got to go. I’m supposed to meet my brother and he’s probably worried that I haven’t shown up.”

The man looked embarrassed but startled by Castiel’s hasty retreat. But he moved to let him up the stairs.

He was already a few steps up when the man spoke again.

“Sorry again, man.”

It was a mistake to turn back around, but Castiel did, perhaps selfish enough to indulge in the man’s beauty one more time.

Then something happened that never happened before. Castiel had another Glimpse when he met his eyes.

It was gentler than the first, like an aftershock after an A-bomb.

Deep, sweet spices mixed with buttery pie dough and tangy apple.

A warm, soft red that enveloping his entire body like an embrace to protect and cherish.

The man’s deep, rough voice murmuring “Cas” with such profound affection and care.

Then, Castiel’s voice answering in the same low, gentle caress of soft happiness—“Dean”.

This could not be happening.

#SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER THIS WAS GETTING TOO LONG AGAIN #IM REALLY BAD ABOUT KEEPING THESE SHORT #BUT I KINDA WANNA WRITE THIS FULLY??#MAYBE? idk #supernatural #cas #castiel #destiel #spn #casdean #dean is bi #dean winchester #deancas #destiel fandom #destiel fanfic

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cube-cumb3r · 3 years

Text

The Means Reflect On The Ends Actually, (c!Dream & the conditioning of Exile)

What was the point of exile, storywise? What does it say about c!Dream? Sure, it’s showcasing how far he’s willing to go to achieve his own ends, but I don't think all discussion about what exile tells us about c!Dream should start and end there.

Dream is not cruel for cruelty’s sake. Dream’s end goal is not to hurt as many people as possible. He views his cruelty are “necessary evils”, and he doesn’t dwell much on whether the things he does are “good” or “bad”. He’s fully aware he’s hurting people and he ultimately thinks that hurting people, to the extent that he does, is worth it. That being said, while Dream has an ends justify the means mindset, but the truth is, the means absolutely reflect on the ends. His true intentions aren’t a mystery, it’s very clear in the text that his ultimate goal is unity, but why does he want unity? And what would said unity entail?

(Before this essay starts I have to do an ad break to promo @daggryet's very helpful [transcriptions from the exile streams], which I'll be using a lot of. Thanks for the very helpful resource.)

TW: Relatively extensive discussion abt the abuse in exile arc & the effects of said abuse.

Firstly, I don't think you should deny his relationship to control. A through-line of his character is achieving harmony through control, and more specifically, obedience. There’s a reason why he tends to single out Tommy the most. It’s not actually because Tommy is remarkably more troublesome than anyone else on the server, but rather, because his disruptive nature is at Dream’s expense. Tommy is the only character who’s consistently over and over again refused to respect Dream’s authority, and though he isn’t particularly threatening on his own, it’s the sentiment itself that’s dangerous. Similarly, this is why he has consistently targeted L’manburg, moreso than any other faction on the server such as, say, Badlands, El Rapids. It’s almost as if they represented the sentiment, “Hey, why are we listening to you anyway? Why can’t we be listening to anyone else?”, which is why he crushed them, over, and over again. What if everyone figures out they can just stop listening to him? What then?

We talk a lot about the effects exile had on Tommy, and rightfully so, but we don’t talk enough about what Dream was actually doing. What was the purpose of exile? Was it just a way to get closer to the discs? Just a means to an end? What was the end?

TOMMY: What, what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me.

DREAM: I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy.

TOMMY: What does that mean?!

DREAM: I’m just, I’m making sure that you’re not up to no good.

TOMMY: But, how, you’ve exiled me, you fucking stupid, manipulative fucking green bastard!

DREAM: I know! And you know why I did that?

TOMMY: Yes?

DREAM: No, you know why?

TOMMY: Why?

DREAM: Because you don’t listen to me ever, you’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you’re like “no, fuck you!”, and you go and like do like the exact opposite.

[full transcription]

As much as I have to preface this with that this is speculative and we may not have any irrefutable confirmation, I think it's very likely that it's literally just what Dream is saying he's doing. Tommy is the one person who refuses to listen to him, and he wants him to listen. Exile was not only conditioning Tommy to believe that nobody other than Dream cares about him, not only conditioning Tommy to be entirely reliant on him, but also conditioning Tommy to listen to him, without question, without disobeying. And that is such a significant and reoccurring motif for it to arguably just be the intended reading of exile.

Abuse is a vague term that encompasses a lot of abusive practices. There are a good handful that apply to exile, I'm sure if you ask someone qualified they'll be able to provide you a nice handy list, but ultimately, all of them target Tommy's own sense of agency and autonomy, and it all revolves around power and control. Dream creates rituals purely to disarm him, threatens him and punishes him when he doesn't listen, and rewards him when he complies (or rather, conditions Tommy into thinking that not being punished is a reward).

TOMMY: [begins throwing his armor and axe down for DREAM to explode.]

DREAM: No, no, it’s fine.

TOMMY: Re-really?

DREAM: Yeah. Today’s the party, right?

---

TOMMY: So when can I- no, I wanna go back. I… hey, thanks for letting me keep my armour today.

DREAM: You’re welcome.

TOMMY: Kinda nice of you.

[full transcription]

Dream isn’t only hurting Tommy for the sake of hurting him. People tend to frame it as if Dream Just Hates Tommy, but that’s not true. He finds Tommy fun, in a twisted way. There are a lot of moments in exile where they’re both on very good terms and Dream is friendly with Tommy. But, it's also all part of horror of exile, making Tommy reliant on him and his company, getting him to doubt his sense of reality, making him question whether his friends back in L’manburg ever cared about him at all, and possibly questioning whether he’s imagining the abuse as well, Dream is so kind to him after all, why would he ever want to hurt him?

Over the course of exile Tommy agency and sense of self start to deteriorate as well as his mental health, he starts worrying about what Dream would think, starts asking Dream for permission, going out of his way to avoid upsetting him, his only friend, his only reliable caring companion.

TOMMY: Yeah, so I’m thinking we- and then I can- but the thing is; so recently my buddy, Dream, has been doing this thing where he, uhm… it makes sense, though, because I’m not in his land anymore, but he takes my shit from me, so I need to make sure- […]

---

RANBOO: Yeah, so what do you say- does Dream like take your armor? Is that what you said?

TOMMY: I don’t know, he just- hey man, I just follow the boss.

[full transcription]

TOMMY: “Visit Techno” no, no, what would Dream think? […]

---

TOMMY: I’ve had a little idea, by the way, and I wanna know what you think, and also if I’m allowed

DREAM: Okay?

[full transcription]

TOMMY: Yeah, I know he’s actually - he’s sort of my- he’s borderline my owner, Big Q, so I’m not really sure.

MEXICAN DREAM: He’s your dad?

TOMMY: No, no-

MEXICAN DREAM: Ey! Ey, Papa Thomas!

TOMMY: No, no, we’re- as in labor.

MEXICAN DREAM: You gotta teach your child some manners.

[full transcription]

Dream’s outburst in exile after finding Tommy’s chests, is arguably one of Dream's most emotionally honest (and reckless) moments in exile considering it was what made Tommy realize he needed to save himself and escape. And it's punishing Tommy for going behind his back and planning to revolt.

TOMMY: I’m really, no, I’m really sorry, though. Why don’t we just pretend this never- yeah, let’s, shall we just pretend this-?

DREAM: Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy. Listen, I’ll leave you here to think about what you did-

TOMMY: What about the nether? What about the nether, my friends, what-?

DREAM: No! You can’t go to the nether, no one can come here, you are alone, okay? As soon as I think that you have changed, have become somebody who isn’t going to hide and lie and try and revolt; then people can visit you again. You can go to the nether again. But for now - no, no one can. You- I was being very lenient. Yesterday I let you go into the Dream SMP on a temporary pass, and then what do I find out the next day?

TOMMY: I’m so sorry.

DREAM: I have been nothing but gracious to you. Tommy. Think about what you did.

---

Exile wasn’t only a means to getting closer to the discs or getting Tommy out of the way. Exile was a means to conditioning Tommy into listening and respecting Dream as his superior. Dreams solution to Tommy being disruptive and troublesome was to [physically beat], emotionally abuse, and psychologically condition him into obedience. Only seeing exile as a testament to how far how willing he was go to meet his ends is reductive, and not acknowledging what Dream considers to be a “problem” and what he considers to be “solutions” is to not engage with his worldview. You have to take exile into account and what it actually says about his ideals of harmony and unity.

---

TOMMY: I can’t go back… I can’t go back, and see my friends and see Tubbo. This is a shithole! He wasn’t- he wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He was here to- what did he say on the first day? Got a little bug that he can’t flig off? I’m the only person who never does exactly what he says?

TOMMY: I’m the only person who never does what he says. Me! He said that to me, didn’t he?

TOMMY: He was here to watch me.

[full transcription]

Dream’s relationship to Tommy can (and honestly should) be compared to his relationship to the entire server at large. Not to imply that He Literally Wants To Abuse The Server, but rather the he views the server revolting as a problem, and the solution? Well. The [prison]. The hall of attachments. It’s no surprise that the disc war, a conflict that was initially only primarily between Dream and Tommy*, is suddenly about everyone. Bargaining and blackmailing using attachments, something Dream initially only subjected Tommy to, to keep him under his control, is now a means to control everyone.

Is Dream's goal of unity for the sake of the overall happiness and quality of life of the people living within said unity? I don’t doubt that this at some point in time was true. But, the fact that he’s willing to ruin lives and long-term psychologically destroy people over it, means that his goal isn’t unity for the sake of the people living in his ideal version of the server, but at their expense. Him believing he needs to control people to maintain unity and harmony means that he believes himself to know what's best for people moreso than the people themselves, and therefore he's the only one responsible enough to make decisions for them. And it also means that his motives has warped and twisted overtime, it’s likely that he’s become so fixated on the goal of unity itself that he’s lost track of why he wanted it in the first place.

Anyway. Stop buying into Dream's own self-justification of "ends justify the means" and put his deeply flawed and broken worldview and view of people under a little bit of goddam scrutiny.

#*yeah no its about tubbo and sapnap too but thats not really who dream has ever focused on #dream smp #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #exile arc #tw abuse #ask to tag #lor3 essays

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