#there are men who do that in the real world and im sure they dont wanna be fetishized

[lxclerc]

𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 ─ 𝐦𝐯𝟏

summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo

note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.

dailyynupdates

liked by user33, user4, user16 and others

dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen

view all 104,210 comments...

user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected

user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across

user91 how do they even know each other 😭 user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people

user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?

user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore user71 max is a formula one driver user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job

user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over

user93 dare i say...they're adorable

user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come

user74 we won for real 🥹🫶

dailyynupdates

liked by user23, user31, user69 and others

dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend 😭

view all 59,129 comments...

user93 oh my god look at them 😭

user81 they look so in love i want to cry

user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but 😭😭😭

user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling user75 this means so much to me user65 you just made my entire week

user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken

user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me

user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach 😀

sincerelyyn ✓

liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others

sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you

view all 402,452 comments...

yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess 😒

sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu

taylorswift love seeing you happy ❤️

sincerelyyn ❤️❤️ user73 mother is all of us user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved

conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip 🫶

sincerelyyn die 🫶

user92 their friendship is everything to me

user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is 😭

user43 THEYRE SO ‼️🥵🥰⚠️

user65 you're so right

user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy 😭

user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL 😭

maxverstappen1

liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others

maxverstappen1 my american girl 🩷

view all 308,291 comments...

charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening

maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts 😒 user91 max gagged him with that im afraid

landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets 😭

user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets maxverstappen1 no ❤️ landonorris 😔 sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team 🤍 maxverstappen1 baby noooo sincerelyyn be nice, max landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed

user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in

user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe 😭

sincerelyyn love youuuu

maxverstappen1 love you more

sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3

maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling) user42 they mean so very much to me 😭

danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous

maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid 😒 user71 daniel is so us

sincerelyyn

liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others

sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how ❤️

view all 592,649 comments...

maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being ❤️

sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)

i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it 🫶

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen fluff

[officialspec]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though

i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that

people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists

for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)

similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime

to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)

of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week

the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you

social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be

tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it

#ask #long post #i feel like i should tag for the ask bc it sucks but idk what so like. lmk #gender #trans stuff #i love you language philosophy i love you messy human relationships i love you contradictory identities

[miafeystits]

re: that last poll i reblogged, one of the reasons i find both mpreg & a/b/o fic kind of morbidly fascinating after many years in fandom (despite not liking either) is how these kinds of fic often function as a way of mapping the tropes and gender dynamics of cis/heterosexual romance onto (almost always cis) m/m stories without going so far as to gender-swap either character

like, this is pretty obvious with mpreg centered on cis men, which is often just the application of common pregnancy-related romance tropes to cis m/m couples (note: im excluding depictions of trans masc pregnancy from my discussion here because i just think its a separate convo with its own nuances, and because i think much of the fic im describing here generally draws from ideas about cis men & women without much consideration for transness). however its ESPECIALLY apparent if you look at common a/b/o tropes in m/m fic. namely, the fact that an a/b/o universe is generally a world in which irl gender essentialism and the resulting sexual power dynamics between (cis) men and (cis) women are able to be applied to relationships exclusively between cis men-- with one partner being dominant, often physically stronger and aggressive, and socially privileged for this (perceived or real) biological superiority, and the other partner (who is generally the one able to bear children) being sexually submissive, weaker, and thus socially disadvantaged or oppressed as a consequence.

furthermore, something EXTRA interesting to me is that in this type of fic these power dynamics are very frequently not just social constructs (the way they are in real life-- pls dont misunderstand me and think im saying women are inherently biologically submissive to men irl or something), but rather almost always depicted as a biological reality within the world of the story. this type of au (at least in m/m dominated circles) offers a way of exploring and depicting what are basically misogynistic tropes without ever naming it as misogyny or involving women at any point. and i'm not trying to make a moral judgement here--i just genuinely find it very interesting that one of the main ways that misogynistic sexual dynamics (and, frequently, the violence resulting from such dynamics) gets explored in fandom spaces is through the development of an alternate biological and social reality in which cis men experience a mirror of those power dynamics, often turned up to 11 via in-universe biological essentialism. it strikes me as a way to engage with irl misogyny and its role within relationships with a certain amount of emotional distance, for better or worse. on one hand, it might be used to explore this imbalance of power without ever needing to depict misogynistic violence happening to female characters, but on the other hand also often offers a way to engage with romantic tropes steeped in irl gender essentialism in a way that is justified within the fiction of the universe and therefore do not need to be considered as critically

now i dont think this alone justifies this trope's existence or popularity (i'm sure a large part of its popularity is people just thinking it's hot tbh, which is fine im not here to judge), and honestly i'm not interested in litigating the question of why people write or read this trope in the first place, but i AM continually fascinated by the degree to which heteronormativity is able to influence what are ostensibly depictions of queer relationships

#meta #delete later probably #but this has been kicking in my head for a while so eh #anyway in conclusion the main reason i never got a/b/o is not the mosterfucking its the bioessentialism #and the fact that so much of it just feels extremely straight

[thehopelessexception]

is it just me?

i've been observing a tendency surrounding women —mostly between 20 and 26— where we can't find anything close to love (from men). women are not dating, nor living a normal life, developing a femcel-like point of view. and im saying this because i want to be loved just like anyone else, but are we the problem? or is there something wrong with boys? i mean, ofc there's something wrong with boys; but every year pass by and every time is harder and harder to find someone willing to put the effort to make you feel loved and understood. was it like this 50 years ago? 100 years ago? i am very much aware that our mothers and grandmothers suffered in the world they lived in, generally with sexist husbands and mandatory tradwife lifestyle. but i am also sure that there was some exceptions, way too many more than today.

and we tend to romanticize the past, probably there's something to do with our generation. nor millennials or gen z, the ones in the middle. the girls who grew up with enough technology but not so much. the ones that went crazy over boybands and fanfiction and hung up posters in our walls. the ones that went crazy in 2018-2020 with deranged feminism just to realise, later on, nobody really cared and it maybe was a little over the top. the ones that filled our beds with stuffed animals repeatedly every time we woke up just to throw them on the floor at night so we could sleep. the girls who spent their teenage years on tumblr writing code (before men took that away from us) and making playlists of marina lana and the 1975 so everyone on the internet could see how cool we wanted to look like. probably the ones that suffered some kind of bullying in highschool or some health problem related to how we didn't fit in or how bad we looked at ourselves in the mirror (yk what i mean). we weren't the cool kids in real life or it was just me?

now i'm observing how hard it is to adapt that teenager to adult years. and maybe it's me but i don't feel like an adult. i am a tiny ball of anxiety. i suffer too much stress. i am trying to finish my degree but i don't know if im worthy of anything because i dont have money, and i don't have time to work and study at the same time because i spend too many time thinking about it and feeling a fraud and a failure.

i don't know how to talk to boys either —nor girls, in that way—. and until some days ago i was quite sure i was willing and capable of spending my whole life alone. i've given up to anything because i felt it imposible to be loved. but lately my mind goes up and down with that scene of jo monologue in little women by gretta gerwig. and it also goes with the hot priest monologue of fleabag. and today i rewatched the classic he's just not that into you. are we condemned to be the tedious rule? am i?

i've seen all of my girlfriends suffering the same mysery. and i've seen the extremes. women giving up the love they deserve —because they accepted the fate of being the rule— by dating a jerk just because they are afraid of loneliness. and i've also seen women giving up everything else just because they are not willing to give up love. those are us. hopeless romantics who watched way too many romantic comedies and somehow still expect to find someone willing to die for us just like dicaprio in romeo + juliet. —or at least a patrick verona—.

what i've never seen was actual love. all the couples i met... they don't look happy. they don't look in love. they don't look like they enjoy their own company even. they look exactly like a picture of instagram. they exist just to make us feel miserable even when it's obvious they are not gonna last. i've seen couples of what? 7 years? gone. broken up. they grew tired of each other and of course they never looked like they had anything close to sparkles in their eyes. chemistry? none. and maybe it is my anxiety speaking but i don't want that. i refuse to have that. i want all or nothing. i want always and forever. i want everyone to look at us and think "if i don't have that i'll kms". i want family —even tho im not sure i want to get pregnant, what am i a childbride?—. i don't want to change anything to fit in with the standards of a boy. i want marriage even tho im not sure i want to be legally married. i want the posibility, the future. i want the emotions surpassing myself. i want to not know me anymore and then knowing me again. i want to doubt myself. i want my heart beating so fast i could kill someone for them. i want to believe god exists. i want to laugh of happiness without they making a joke. i want my sundays to not be deppresing because i can hang out with the love of my life and have fun. i want to be the "and yet" of someone willingly enough to fall for me every single day even if i am kinda insane all the time. i want someone who cares. someone who fantasizes with spending the rest of their lives with me and is going to put the effort to get to know every single thing about me and stay because he's blown away. and aparently that's setting the bar "too high" because we are the rule and not the exception.

people always assume that by being a romantic i expect flowers every day and cheesy comments about how beautiful i look; and that would actually make me want to puke because i can do that myself. i am confortable with myself, i like myself, i love myself, i have the ego. i am not really asking for that much i just want someone to love me with every single thing that's probably wrong with me. what i want is someone curious and smart. someone who pays enough attention or wants to. i want the chemistry off the roof.

and contrary to anyone's beliefs the bar is too low about everything else. every single girl probably wants the same thing. is it that hard for men to understand that women want to feel loved?

lately —worldwide— it's all a competition of genres as if humanity doesn't need us to interact to survive. it's a loop that opened up in 2013? with the tumblr-4chan gate and right now got translated to the real world because pick-mes are back and being a man is cool. and suddenly that's how nature works!! because apparently women are boring and just a hole. maybe they all need to go all alexander the great. but it's getting boring. and we as women deserve love as much as respect.

#girlhood #im just a girl #this is a girlblog #this is what makes us girls #girlblogging #irish wish #romcoms #he's just not that into you #10 things i hate about you #kat stratford #patrick verona #romeo and juliet #romance #romantic #romantic comedy #lana del rey #tumblr aesthetic #2014 tumblr #2014 nostalgia #2014 aesthetic #2014 revival #the exception to the rule #taylor swift #greta gerwig #class of 2003 #mitski #femcel #the prophecy #ttpd #the tortured poets department

[devildom-moss]

Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.

So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.

Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?

This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.

Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.

The Obey Me characters become self-aware

I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.

Lucifer

Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.

Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.

He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.

Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.

However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.

Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.

Mammon

Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.

His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.

Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.

At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.

He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.

Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.

Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.

Leviathan

The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”

Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.

As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.

He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.

Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.

Satan

“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.

At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.

However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.

He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).

Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.

Asmodeus

Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.

He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.

That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?

At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.

Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.

On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.

Beelzebub

Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?

At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?

Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).

Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.

He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.

And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.

Belphegor

Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.

He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.

Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.

He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”

He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.

Diavolo

Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.

Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.

If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.

Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.

He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.

The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.

Barbatos

Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.

After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).

Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.

He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.

Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.

His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.

Luke

Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.

It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.

Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).

Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?

Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.

Simeon

Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).

It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.

Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.

He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.

Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.

Solomon

Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.

He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.

He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?

When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.

He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.

Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.

Thirteen

She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.

After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?

Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.

The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.

She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.

Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.

Raphael

Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.

His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?

He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.

When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.

It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)

Mephistopheles

Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.

He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.

He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).

When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.

#requests #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #diavolo #barbatos #luke #simeon #solomon #thirteen #raphael #mephistopheles #gn!mc #💜 anon #ask #anon #obey me demon brothers #obey me dateables #obey me others #obey me side characters #obey me headcanons #obey me #also I don't know if anyone will read this far into the tags but please don't tell me not to do drugs #I don't do anything hard and it's legal here to do what I do but it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to read that

[megamindsecretlair]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @nerdieforpedro 😚 for anyone who cares, here's a bit about me! 🥹

General rule: I may overshare in dms and authors notes sometimes but Im generally a private person 🤣 to the point Ive lost friends over it. ive been working with my coworkers for 3 years and they dont know shit about me 🤣 I juss really love yall and feel safe with yall so here we go!

1. Were you named after anyone?

No. My mom didnt want our names to announce who we were on applications so we all got regular smegular names. My name is of Irish origin so my yt folks customer service voice got ppl thinkin I have red hair. I mean....technically yes but its buried under my braids 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

At the end of The Marvels. The first end credit had me in real, actual tears. On a more serious note, I last cried before my grandma died. Yall, its fn hard being a caretaker. I was not built Ford Tuff.

3. Do you have kids?

*ahem* 🗣🗣 fuck no! 🤣🤣🤣 I dont even have nieces or nephews. Kids make me nervous and Im pretty sure they can smell the fear on me. 🤣

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I played basketball and softball in HS. I love and miss softball all the time even though my big behind HATES running.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm is one of my love languages. I put that shit on everything 🤣 Physical Touch is my main one since we sharing.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Ooof, tough. Depends. Some quirk like glasses, lisp, moles. How they walk/talk, the way they laugh. I am a lurker by trade. Overly shy kid and writer by nature will do that to ya.

7. What is your eye color?

Dark brown. When that sun hits 🫠🫠🫦

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am a HUGE scaredy cat. I dont do scary movies nothin! Happy endings over here! 🤸🏽‍♀️ I will enjoy a thriller but only behind my hands and mostly starring Matthew Lillard.

9. Any talents?

.....no? I have a bunch of useless knowledge or trivia that no one asked for but ya gonna get 🤣 . Juss realized writing is considered a talent 😭 so that too 🤣

10. Where were you born?

US, West Coast baybeee

11. What are your hobbies?

Obvs, writing. Reading, sewing, cons, tarot, tv, listening to music, video games (xbox, switch, PC girlie) , Marvel. Marvel is a hobby. I will talk your ear off. That is both a threat and a promise 😚

12. Do you have any pets?

I have two gorgeous Boston Terriers who run me into the ground every day. Idk why my mom thought two was okay 🫠🫠 my Black ass tide 🥲 👏🏽

13. How tall are you?

Fun sized 5'3 and a half 👏🏽👏🏽🤣 pear shaped. I got ass for days but in the itty bitty titty committee. 😭😭😭😭😭

14. Favorite subject in high school?

Definitely English. My English teacher was so fine 🥲🥲 thats not WHY it was my fave but can ya blame me 😩 I loved reading the books but I hated the themes they shoved down our throats. What if that wasnt MY interpretation of the book??? Hmmm? Some faves include: Their Eyes Were Watching God (Teacake 🥵🥵🥵), Brave New World, Bright Lights Big City (probably where my love of second person is from) , Bronx Masquerade, and The Outsiders. And FUCK the Great Gatsby. If I hear about that damn green light one 👏🏽 mo 👏🏽 fn 👏🏽 time 👏🏽😩😡 and FUCK Of Mice and Men, he aint have to do all that in the end. And DOUBLE FUCK I Know Why the Caged Bird sings. Turned my stomach when she described the SA. Lemme stop 🥴

15. Dream Job?

Writer. I will publish, I will be successful, and I will live the life I want. I claim it 😩 on my Octavia Butler, NK Jemisin, Danielle Allen shit 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Whew! That was fun 😭🤣

No pressure tags: @mybonafidefeelings @bratzmaraj @braverthanthenewworld @multiversefanfics @chaos-4baby @westside-rot @saturn-rings-writes @notapradagurl7 @wide-nose-and-wonderful @blowmymbackout @blackerthings @harmshake @targaryenvampireslayer and who wants to do one. I love learning bout my moots.

#megaminds tag game #get to know me tag game #get to know megamind #im funny sometimes #chronically online emo kid #dass me #i dont cry that often #nothing against it #i juss hate how puffy my face gets #my forehead big because im a people watcher 😭 #glasses wearer too #tag game #tumblr tag game #know your moots #join in #i love learning bout folks

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

#ask #too much art talk in this one

[sistervirtue]

the barbie movie like. ok so [spoilers and long paragraphs under the cut]

yeah it was really basic ideologically it didnt cover all the various intersections and theories of feminism but i think when people saw conservatives flipping their shit people expected it to be like, a manifesto. its a film, and more importantly, it's the Barbie Movie. i think expecting a gender and womens studies class from it would be silly, and while i get why people are disappointed in how much sympathy it lends to the men in the movie, i dont think like, once again, that was ever something to not expect?

furthermore on that point i think showing misogyny from a place of defining the self around a sense of loneliness by men isn't...far off. theres never an excuse for misogyny but thats rhetoric that radicalizes a lot of incels and shit i would rather that than they treat it like some mysterious miasma.

also, i think, once again while it was pretty basic in the ideas it presented... how often is it show that explicitly in broad-audience film? like stated directly to the audience in that manner? theres no flirting with the feminist theory in the movie; it says it outright, which is something a lot of films shy away from out of fear of alienating men once it becomes too "girl power"-y. im not usually for the use of a lot of buzzwords in film and discussion of issues but these buzzwords are never said with cheapness or to obfuscate. it could be heavyhanded at times, but that heavyhandedness wasnt ever really obnoxious? it walked the line of "haha silly" but still took its point seriously enough that you could appreciate the use of that heavyhandedness for comedic effect without being mocked

i also think the fact they just like "solve" the patriarchy in the barbie world isnt meant to imply that you can just fix the real world with a woman president or by being aware of misogyny. in fact a lot of the movie is dedicated to showing how the barbie world and real world are different. the conclusion of the movie is that barbie wants to become human, even though the human world is messy and unsolved and nothing like she assumed it was. she believed barbie had solved misogyny forever, which is a direct jab at the idea that any "one thing" or "girl power" movement can just suddenly whisk away the very power structures that created that sort of oppression.

its very much coming from a cis/heterosexual/white basis. they flirt with further intersection but dont commit, which im really not a fan of. my friends after the film were like "it was more homoerotic than i expected haha" and...yeah, it was, but it didnt do anything to address gayness or what that means in such a heavily gendered heterosexual society. you could read that subtext through allen and his thing.... but allen is a joke. his story is never resolved. hes one of the guys but he isnt, hes one of the girls but he isnt, he benefits not at all from "kendom" but conversely is not oppressed the way the barbies are and vice versa. he's just allen, and the only allen there is. when sasha and her mom want to go back to help barbie, the fact he just goes "God im never getting out of here" and thats just like, left was kinda. well. it was something for sure.

still. i know i just wrote like 200 words on the ideology of this movie but first and foremost its a pg13 comedy meant to be shown to broad audiences in theaters for money. its meant to be an enjoyable watch, and it is! its a gorgeous film, its funny, the songs are fine, and the way it makes its side comments arent distracting nor meanspirited. it knows when to take itself seriously, and i like that. i was actually expecting it to be a general audiences like, kids movie i was so fucking surprised when barbie said penis.

i also think saying the line at the end about the gynecologist is like "saying you need a vagina to be a real woman" is disingenuous honestly. one its meant to be a bit of a shock quip to get a giggle but two i think a lot of people who need gynecological care (which can include trans women) are afraid when it comes to that first visit and finally sitting down and talking about those areas because of the shame and lack of proper education. maybe its bc i grew up mormon but i dont think its meant to imply thats what MADE barbie a real woman or that its fundamental to being one.

once again it definitely isnt a perfect movie. i think the way the ken and barbie talk happened at the end was still a bit coddly and the scope of the ideology underneath the movie was, once again, still very much centered in white cishetero society and thought with only passing mentions of intersectionality that felt both shallow and (especially with the gayness and racial dynamics) occasionally like it was being turned into a joke

still all in all it was a pretty good movie. weird barbie #1. allen get behind me i will protect u

#barbie movie #barbie movie spoilers

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

#bug starship #february starship #taz starship #up starship #specs starship #krayonder starship #tootsie starship #mega-girl starship #junior starship #starship #team starkid

[kolektsiakomah]

IM EXPLODING list of things from the ocean saga from epic the musical i think abt A Lot

[this is a long fucking list]

the heartbeat accompanying odysseus' reminiscing of penelope n telemachus . im gonna cry [the horse and the infant]

THE FUCKIN SOUND PRODUCTION IN GENERAL ¿¿¿ THE WAR SOUNDS . ITS LIKR IM THERE [the horse and the infant]

violins intensifying when zeus mentions penelope n telemachus 😭😭😭😭😭😭 also thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening when zeus' verse comes on [the horse and the infant]

this . IM IN PAIN . this is sickening this is sickening this is sickening ive been crying abt this for 15 mins and counting. might be my father issues talking but the way telemachus probably doesnt even remember odysseus and knows abt his existence only thanks to penelope meanwhile this man is fighting for his LIFE every day to see them and hug them ☹☹☹☹☹☹ save me SAVE ODYSSEUS ↓ [just a man]

'i look into your eyes and i

think back to the son of mine.

you're as old as he was

when i left for war...

***

close your eyes

and spare yourself the view.

how could i hurt you?

i'm just a man

who's trying to go home

even after all the years

away from what i've known!

i'm just a man

who's fighting for his life,

deep down i would

trade the world

to see my son and wife!!'

PENELOPES WAITINGNGGGGG FOR HIKMMMMMM ¡¡¡¡¡¡ RUHHEGHHEHHGGGGG also eurylochus and polities are so bro . they were literally sworn bros stop it [full speed ahead]

the lil spooky sounds at the start of open arms ¿ so good . POLITIES I LOVE YOU YOU DIDNT DESERVE TO DIE SO SOON . he so was what odysseus needed at the time ↓ [open arms]

'a cave!!

you're saying there's a cave where we could feast?

and where do we sail to find this food-filled cave?

thank you :)'

athenas clock motive ¡¡¡¡¡ so good . the dont disappoint me was SO . OMINOUS . I LOVE QUICK THOUGHT MOMENTS [warrior of the mind]

THEYRE BROTHERS ¡¡¡¡¡¡ ↓ [polyphemus]

'over here!'

'look at all this food,

look at all these sheep!

i can't believe this cave has all this for us to keep.'

'i've gotta hand it you, pol,

this is quite the treat.

there are enough sheep here

to feed the entire fleet.'

POLYPHEMUS IS SO SCARY I LOVE IT . LIKE ACTUALLY SCARY i had actual goosebumps i gasped so hard when the whole boss battle started it was so full of suspension and tension and there was sm going on i was like ?@*@*#*×£@£€$£×*@*('(@(#(,"*"*' i cant fully express how this particular part makes me feel but when i was listening for the 1st time i was clenching my armchair so hard . deadass was on the verge of tears when polities got sniped and odysseus' men were screaming for their captain while polyphemus just slaughters them all . ALSO IM TELLING YOU ODYSSEUS LEARNED THOSE NEGOTIATION TACTICS FROM POLITIES [polyphemus + survive]

the complete silence after odysseus reveals his name . no triumphant music no cheers NOTHIJG just the creaking of the ship . and knowing that polyphemus is supposed to just Stare at the crew w his bloody gory eye and a smile ......... god fucking damn [remember them]

'this hurts athena.' in the script after odysseus snaps and goes YOURE ALONE ...... i mean go odysseus but ohhh . athena . ATHEJNNAAAAA [my goodbye]

JORGE TALKED ABT THIS BUT THE HARMONIES IN STORM ARE SO FUNKY ¡¡¡¡¡ AHHHHH STOOOoooOOOoooOOORM STOOOoooOOOoooOOORM THE LIKES OF WHICH WEVE NEVER SEEN BEFOREEEEE BRACE FOR THE STOOOoooOOOoooOOORM STOOOoooOOOoooOOORM WITH HOME SO CLOSE WE MUST BE PUSHING FORWARDDDD ‼️‼️‼️ [storm]

the absolute divine Island In The Sky melody in the middle of the goddamn storm made me levitate . i had goosebumps . polities would fucking love it [storm]

i was so sure for some reason that 'lead from the heart and see what starts' was a callback to open arms but it wasnt . hmm . WELL STILL . eurylochus literally says odysseus is the brother he could never do without oughhhhh ..... AND eurylochus is so real throughout this whole thingg no wonder hes the right hand man . [luck runs out]

aeolus' lil HAHAs are wonderful . i feel like shes def friends w hermes . also her song is such a bop ¿¿¿ got me grooving ¡¡¡¡ winions are so fjsjjsjwjwjaja theyre the definition of skrunkly . [keep your friends close]

this also broke me . any fucking interaction odysseus has w his kid and wife is sure to send me straight into my coffin . the way odysseus is pulled out from his bittersweet dream straight into new chaos and new problems . bro cant even communicate w his fam thru prophetic dreams hes so tired GIVE HIM PENELOPE N TELEMACHUS NOW ↓ [keep your friends close]

'the bag is still closed and i'm getting closer

to you.

penelopeee~

i can't wait to make some new memories...

telemachusss~

time for me to be the father i never was...

'just keep your eyes open...'

'why are my eyes and my heart and my soul

so heavy?..'

'just keep your eyes open.'

'i keep on trying to embrace you both,

why won't you let me?'

'just keep your eyes open!'

'so much has changed, but i'm the same,

yes, i'm the same!!'

'just keep your eyes open!!'

i lauf dramatic entrances poseidon is so extra ↓ [ruthlessness]

'OOOOOOOOOOOODYSSEUS OF ITHACA ‼️‼️‼️ do you know who i am.'

sea grandpa you absolute NUT ¡¡¡¡ HE SOUNDS SO GOOD ¿¿¿¿ AHHHHH the raspy voice fits him so well . the chanting at the start of the song made me chant too . POSEIDON POSEIDON POSEIDON POSEIDON POSEIDON POSEIDON POSEIDON . he tried to chill w the waves guys . [ruthlessness]

PPL SCREAMING FOR THEIR CAPTAIN ¡¡¡¡¡ it always gets me idfk why [ruthlessness]

HES SO SILLY W IT ↓ [ruthlessness]

'ALL I GOTTA DO IS OPEN THIS BAG!! :P'

#epic: the musical #epic: the ocean saga #ocean saga got me BAWLING MY EYES OUT ON THE 2ND GODDAMN SONG #also would you believe me if i said #that i heard luck runs out and polyphemus and just a man from rise edits for the 1st time #im going crazy #epic the musical #etm #etm: odysseus beloved #etm: telemachus beloved #etm: polities beloved #etm: penelope beloved #etm: eurylochus beloved #etm: athena beloved #etm: poseidon beloved #etm: aeolus beloved #etm: polyphemus beloved #🍋 blah blah

[maledistributionsystem]

Heyy i have a question for you bro. First of all i love your posts, it's so encouraging and makes me feel genuely better abt myself. My question is how do i make up for a boyhood i never had? I'm 18 and transitioning isn't available to me, my country is extremely homophobic and id simply need someone to tell me my chest doesn't make me a girl etc but i don't know any queer folks irl and it feels like im missing out

Thank you for contacting the Male Distribution System Bark Line. Remember: Mens bodies come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and heights. Being unconventional does not detract from your validity. Your message is in the queue...

hey man whats good!

This is something I've been doing/thinking about for years, and honestly I'm not sure how applicable my advice is, but i'll still try :^)

I grew up real sheltered and closed away from the world, there's a lot that I never got the chance to experience or be taught that I've had to make up for. I'll ask ya, What weren't you allowed to do due to your socialization/upbringing? for me the answers are: Tackle football, watching star wars, playing with "boy toys" from fast food meals, walking around shirtless, wearing "simple" clothes, stuff like that.

Dont be afraid to derive gender euphoria from shit thats uselessly gendered. I still use Old Spice deoderant because it was Boy Deoderant and i really liked the way it smelled when i was 17 lol. Buy "mens" body wash, use "mens" razors, stuff like that! (In america all these things are less than 10$ so im very sorry if thats bad advice for you)

My answer for experiencing boyhood is: Let yourself be free in all the ways you wish you could have at that age. Collect monster trucks, build lego sets, watch wrestling or mma or boxing or [insert overwhelmingly male-dominated physical sport here], engage with hobbies that are male-dominated and feel good about talking to other men online who participate too.

honestly on that note, make a social media account divorced from any of your other ones with no indicators whatsoever that you're trans, just say you're a man (if you specify at all) and interact with dudes anonymously, kinda like you did me here. It's such a quiet and hidden thing to do, but when i was in highschool (14-17 years old for me) it was one of the most validating things i did for myself. I was just one of the guys, because i literally am.

But also, that boy needs to cry. I'm serious, let him scream and be angry and punch things, let him be sad and ask "why couldnt i have this before?". That little boy inside you could use the aknowledgement.

Also hey, i know you dont got no IRL queer folks to say it to you, so i will: having a chest dont make you any less of a man. Wearing a binder hurts my back, badly. So i stopped wearing them and havent worn a binder in a few years now. I still correct people to tell them im a dude. I just let them hang about freely. I'm just a dude with a chest, and i make people deal with seeing that. Even if you can't go around correcting people and shit, i want you to know it in your heart. Dudes have chests sometimes. Not even just trans dudes! Cis dudes get gynecomastia at varying (but usually a bit older) ages and have to get surgery too. Hell, even those gymrats addicted to roids get tit fat that need to be removed. They're all still men, and so are you. I dont care what it looks like, you're still a man.

I'm sorry if this wasn't quite what you was looking for, but i hope you know you're a brother to us all, and like any brother would, i hope you get what you're looking for out of your life. You deserve it.

Be easy, now ☆

#Bark Line #had to redo my tags on this one bc i forgot using quotations fucks them up. gods i hate tumblr sometimes #anyways #it might look stupid or childish to other people to see me sitting here like #'play into gender roles to make yourself feel better' #but im actually serious it feels so good and the unnecessary gendering of random shit isnt going away #might as well use it to make yourself feel better lol

[nhularin]

OT7 ★

crack! headcanons

bf! Text messages

bf! Text messages pt.2

bf! insta stories

enha as newjeans songs

SOUR PROM

SERIES

hey reddit! AITA...

hyung line x reader

→ in which four idiotic lovesick men try to find comfort in a shitty app after their break up. but! what happens when you find their burner account?

HEESEUNG ᵎᵎ

Hes cool! But...

→ OR : three things that make you question your relationship

cool with you

-> you loved him, and always will.

do you get deja vu when shes with you?

-> nothing hurts more than seeing lee heeseung doing the stuff you both used to do with another girl. Watching him wrap his jacket around her, playing the same song you both liked around her. everything, from the way he touches her, gives her gifts, was a carbon copy of your relationship. does he get deja vu when he’s with her?

HEADCANONS

boyfriend heeseung who...

JAY ᵎᵎ

HES COOL! BUT....

→ OR : three things that make you question your relationship

im not gonna be the one to get hurt

→ right person, wrong time, and a lot of miss communication

1 step forward, 3 steps back

-> you had to describe your park jongsaeng in one word, it'd be unpredictable. he was a gentleman, absolutely selfless when it came to his loved ones. somehow you seem to be the only exception. you didn't understand then, and you sure as hell don't understand now.

downpour.

JAKE ᵎᵎ

Forever, always (soulmate! au)

→ In this tale of destiny, two souls longed for that extraordinary connection

SHAME GAME

smau, coming soon!

→ yn has no ambitions. Except for graduating and getting as far away from this mess of a town as quick as possible. With too much free time and an oh so annoying teacher coming at her back, she signs up to be the broadcaster of the Basketball club. Only problem is: she suffers from chronic shit talking and Jake Sim is having none of it!!

you dont even know my name do ya?

-> in which jake is head over heels with that cute barista

HEADCANONS

hes COOL! BUT...

-> OR : three things that make you question your relationship

SUNGH00N ᵎᵎ

Perfect duo

→ when sunghoon forgot his lines, you just know what to do

WHATS YOUR ETA?

→ your friends have warned you about him, will you listen to them now?

GET UP

written series

→ A mage who struck himself and a heroine who couldn't defeat her inner monster

ENOUGH FOR YOU

-> you tried everything, you really did. as the school's hottest student, park sunghoon was in constant spotlight, might it be with classmates or being the light of the party. and for that, you did your best at making your presence worthy in his life. but deep down, you knew you couldn't compete with the girls who seemed much better than you, people who are enough for him

DRABBLE

Bloodlust

HEADCANONS

boyfriend sunghoon who.....

SUN00 ᵎᵎ

oh my, oh my god!

→ your friends are curious about the mysterious guy you've been seeing. well! today's not the day!

JUNGW0N ᵎᵎ

WHATS AFTER LIKE ?! y.jw

Idol SMAU !

→ Life is not easy as a rookie and you know that! After going viral with your fancam you have gained not only the attention of the public but also that of Enhypens cat like leader. What happens if you wake up one day with your names trending on twt ?!

late night shenanigans

→ two lovers enjoying their presence in the glistening moonlight

oh, say it ditto

→ you love him, you really do, but does he feel the same? or in which you hope for his words of affirmations

HEADCANONS

BOYFRIEND JUNGWON WHO...

NI-KI ᵎᵎ

perfect sacrifice

→ niki realizing that despite the hardships, he will alwas have someone by his side

oceans away

→ young love doesn't always last, but the memories do

you got me looking for attention

→ you had done all you could to subtly show your affection, and yet, it seemed he remained oblivious to your efforts

EGOIST

-> "show the world whar a real egoist looks like, nishimura"

TUMBLR.COM

smau, fluff

-> being a writer is hard, especially when you're a hardcore stan on tumblr.com. so when the legendary niki writer disappeared out of the blue, the readers were naturally heartbroken! but! what happens when their beloved nishirikithinker got revealed as THE yn of the hot new girl group?!

HEADCANONS

boyfriend niki who...

#٠ ࣪⭑ navi

[booksandpaperss]

some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit

I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.

it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.

The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.

I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.

But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.

oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D

final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3

#elli's random thoughts #women's safety #mens mental health #feminism #no idea what else to tag this so im just gonna throw it into the void #plus I do not want this to end up getting around to actual terf blogs ugh

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

i am starting to gather my thought about barbie (2023) and I have A LOT of thoughts about Barbieland in particular. spoilers below

first of all, before the movie came out greta gave an interview where she said that the film has a reverse genesis where woman was created first and man came after.

after seeing the film, I'd say Barbieland was created from the male perspective quite literally. There is a scene with the mattel ceo where he kind of boasts about how barbie cured sexism, basically. this is the lie upon which Barbieland is created but here is the thing... because Barbieland is controlled by an all-male perspective from the "real world" by men who have over 40 decades of sexist brainwashing in their heads, they cannot actually conceptualize a world where men and women are truly equal.

that is why Barbieland is set up the way that it is because men in the real world are the ones who are controlling the narrative from start to finish and they cannot imagine a world where both genders exist in harmony. they come into feminism thinking that men have to be disadvantaged in some way because that's what it means to be a "good" ally to women. however, this line of thinking literally breeds resentment in men and I am not fucking surprised someone like Ryan Gosling resonated so deeply with Ken's character arc because I'm sure he felt quite seen by the film as well.

Barbieland is set up from Ken's perspective from the beginning because Barbieland is controlled by Mattel and the board of that company is male, like the board of most companies in america are male. and Barbieland represents what MEN* think feminism is and has done for women, not what women think for themselves.

that much is obvious because even the way the characters are set up in the beginning are very shallow representations. All the Barbies have jobs but they are *defined* by their jobs because to men, once you're a woman scientist, that's all you are to them. They don't have thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions beyond "everything is great all the time!" because to men, Barbie is the solution.

OKAY, im getting excited now, when Barbie talks to Ken at the end of the film and she says "stop putting your value in your job, your car, your girlfriend" she is critiquing the very existence of Barbieland itself in that moment. because that is what Barbieland's value is. Barbieland is perfect because to men, all that matters is having the dream job, the dream house, the dream partner and the dream looks. they think that's all there is to being human!!!!!!!!!!

and so when Barbie is played with by a woman who has decades of experience under patriachy, she can finally wake up in her "utopia" and realize that hey, wait a minute! this is not what I think will bring me happiness. I don't care about having these materialistic things nor do I care about being an "alpha female" so why am I pretending like all this shallow shit is making me happy????

and that is why Barbieland changes to Kendom to begin with because the narrative was ALWAYS controlled by the Kens of the world and the movie basically starts there, with the assumption thst girlboss feminism and pink capitalism cured sexism and explores if that actually is "utopia" if it actually is a "dream life."

im going to end it here because i dont want to get too off topic but Barbieland is such a fantastic critique of patriarchy, it's actually insane. I love that Greta tackles it from the male gaze and works within the logic of men in this society to show why their beliefs of gender are severely lacking at the end of the day because they're focused on the wrong issue!!! its not about who has the power to get the job, get the house, get the girl, its about connecting with other people. its about experiencing every single emotion under the sun with everyone around you and talking about your feelings and just living with other humans in harmony.

it's so good, i could cry actually. greta deserves every single fucking award for this film and the writing holy shit.

#if you think this film is an intro to feminism 101 fim im sorry but you're not thinking about it hard enough #and i can tell you dont really focus on men in your gender equality fight because oh my god what are you SAYING right now #barbie was a scathing critique of patriarchy but i fear you cannot see past the pastel pink font the message was written in #barbie (2023) #barbie spoilers #personal

[flyingspicerack]

YOUKAI AU LORE!!!!!

literally just copy pasted what i told ghost in dms no beta we die like men

ok so my youkai au... SO I started thinking about it first when I saw Evan post about theirs, and I saw they they said theirs was more of an isekai style? So like, kinda Inuyasha vibes?? Also mine isn't like... TOO tied into the real hesowar au, bc i dont really know all the canon information so its all just... headcanons and my own worldbuilding (which i love to do i love worldbuilding its what i did for my thesis in art school ANYWAYYYY)) So my thoughts are kinda that theres this youkai world and each of the boys are originally human brothers that were all possessed by the youkai like hundreds of years ago and are now all these 6 powerful youkai that rule over 6 different domains. I think that in each domain, or maybe where all 6 of them converge theres a portal to the human world that opens up? Maybe both.... 7 portals, the strongest one thats always open is in the middle of the domains, each has their own, and their own unique connection to the human realm. I think Ichi, because he's a 9 tailed kitsune, he's connected to like, a specific Inari shrine I think each of the boys excepts for one or two, have like... at least harems or a partner or something at this point? It's later in their lives, idk theyre still young looking WHATEVER IDK, but Ichimatsu hasn't really... expressed any interest in anyone in the realm, yet complains to like, jyushi specifically that he feels particularly lonely. Like none of the people who come to worship him in the realm do it for him, theyre boring, whatever, idk, no connections. And since he's a trickster, the brothers are like "ohhh youre kiniving and play pranks and tricks, why dont you just like, trick a human to to be your mate/bride/spouse, humans are so interesting and quirky" and at first hes like 'no thats fucked up i wouldnt do that' but the he thinks about it ...

SO MEANWHILE, in the human world, this version of Mao, i think, is just in some like... job to pass the time, but they're incredibly lonely, theyre bad at making connections at work, theyre a bit burnt out, just things arent going their way. So, one day on the way home they're just tired, and maybe the route they walk on to and from work is like closed so they take a different route and on their way home they come upon an entrance to a shrine, maybe its a little overgrown, but... somethng calls them in, and they walk up the little stairs and are kinda drawn up to the big donation box. And they kinda just throw a couple coins in and pray and think 'im really lonely, i want companionship but im not sure what to do anymore, maybe i should change careers or just ... change myself completeley ... i need guidance' And theres this voice in the back of their head thats just like 'what if that could come true' and 'give yourself to me' and 'make me more offerings and ill give you a deal you wont refuse' and mao thinks theyre hallucinating from stress but they just empty their coin purse bc theyre kinda compelled to And they realize when they blink a couple times, that THAT was all the money they had on them and still need to buy dinner, so they try to reach down into the donation box to maybe snag back a 500 yen coin but then they fall into the box, and the descent down is a LOT longer than they would have assumed it was, and they land down in there with a thud and look up and around them and now have to figure out how to climb out, and eventually, once they do, and climb up and out of the hole or whatever, they are NOT in that shrine anymore, but somehow in the middle of the forest

SO THEYRE LIKE 'uuhhhh ... what the fuck? Did i hit my head??' and are like 'haha probably hit my head and this is a dream or something' and they dust themself off and start making their way down a path in a random direction to maybe figure out what theyre dreaming about, and theyre walking walking, and SHWOOM, right in front of them flies an arrow and they like, jolt back cause it almost hit them, and theres like ... some kind of lower level like ... imps or goblins or like ... SOMETHING and start fucking chasing mao, because this is some like... you know... uhhh idk if it feudal era? i think thats the term. ANYWAY they have pink hair and are like 'woah this person must have insane magical powers we must kill them and take their magics' and so mao gets chased in the woods all the way to like, a cliffside, and are then cornered, and are like ??????? So since they think its a dream they think if they try hard enough maybe dream logic will work so they maybe jump? immediatley fall and stars screaming, but whats this, something catches them midair and they look up and see theyre in the arms of a man with big ears and pretty red makeup who then like, with the wave of a hand wipes out the imps and lands on the ground with mao in his arms and he finally looks down at them and they share like, locked eye contact for a few moments before hes like 'kind of dumb of you to jump off that cliff considering humans cant fly' AND I HAVE LIKE, some other story beats, but the like... summarized story is that ichi starts to feel guilty for kind of coercing mao to come here so they go on like, a journey together, him protecting them, but teaching them to fight and things, while they travel toward where the domains are converged to get mao into the portal back home, but along the way they both genuinely start to fall for one another and mao eventully gives themself to ichi as his devoted bride/partner/mate and gets like... some minor powers and stuff i thinks... and yeah... hehe..

... heheh yeah... i might wanna draw story beats... i have MORE ideas, like... beats and things that happen on the journey if people wanna hear about those too....

ALSO SOMETHING I NEED TO CLARIFY!! when i say the other boys have partners, its not like... its moreso meant to be like, OTHER PEOPLE who self ship with the other boys, have already claimed them, like... how do i make this make sense.... like ... timeline wise, if like

HYPOTHETICLLY, if you wanted to insert your s/i into MY version of this au specifically, your and the matsu's story would have happened BEFORE mao enters the picture if that makes sense... bc i like the idea of ichi being the last of the brothers to make a connection, only realizing once his brothers have found love, that he wants it too ... haha hehehehehehhehehehe the end

#spice.ososan #spice.txt #mao #maoichi #maybe i need an au tag #spice.au #yes thats what the image i drew last night was for #so makes sense i put it here actually #it was horrid trying to get a sscreenshot from aggie on the work computer tho... #bc oso in leather bunny was RIGTH there and i hope no one is looking at the fucking cameras #WHATVEERRRR anyway.... #i hope u guys think this is fun and silly like i do ... #hehehehehheheheh

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

rewatched 12x5 properly i think for the first time since the finale and wow. the doctors accusations back and forth of stupidity and bad taste, "yeah yeah the hypocrisy we've all seen it" i hear you but today im thinking about that hexagonal mirror ruth looks into at the start of the episode and what happens in 13x3 with their reflections that perhaps doing self-reflection is not the easiest thing in the world in circumstances such as theirs. with stuff in your head that you didnt put there and stuff out your head that you didnt take away and reflections that never match what you think you look like. plagiarising myself here but is every mirror a funny mirror to the doctor?

it's just so striking in this episode. yeah yeah self-insults like always it's fun but. theyre so scared of each other. theyre so scared of what each other's existence means to Their Self. and this sure is a bit more of an extreme case "i should know you or you should know me" but i dont think it's fundamentally a different experience than what theyre feeling in say the day of the doctor. this is a new complication with more grave implications but meeting another self i think must always feel like an existential threat on some level. why are you like that. what does that say about me. if you can never see yourself properly in the mirror, this is the only way you can see what you look like. but that person is never exactly entirely you. it changes.

then lee, what was up with him, right? he scanned as human on the sonic but he had his memories. thinking abt how painful chameleon arching yourself is normally already, i dont really want to imagine how you make it so you keep your memories. or whether you set up a system to recover the memories after, like a more complicated version of the hypnotic trigger like things he gave ruth. "keeping my promise" he says and theres this picture of them. they planned this together. what a sacrifice, right? like what martha did. and if we can assume that vinder was lee in 13x3:

VINDER: If this temporal hazing gets any worse, we'll have to relieve her of command. We can't risk the mission. YASMIN: We're your team. DOCTOR: My team... YASMIN: You talk to her. We'll cover. VINDER: It's all right, boss. We understand the pressure. Final push. We do this, you're clear. DOCTOR: Clear? VINDER: They promised they'll stick to it. Final attack. Retake the chamber, retake the planet, and you'll be free of all this. That's the point, isn't it?

paints a picture, right? all of this episode just painting so many pictures and we dont get to know any of it fully but theres so much Suggested it's like aaaaaaaa

gat is fucking fascinating and i adore her. found myself wishing she'd gotten to take the doctors back to her ship just so we couldve seen the three of them interact some more. does she report directly to tecteun or are there more operatives above her, i bet there are more above her, but who i want to see what she'd have done with them. or with ruth i guess, she would have had no reason to take 13.

like the bechdel test is not a real test but i sort of felt it here like,,oh theyre all women. even the judoon maybe. which is sort of interesting. even the invisible power behind it all! "who are you all ultimately working for?" it's tecteun! this scene is so fucking fascinating, theres such big plot stuff happening and we dont get to understand any of it yet for like another season, another almost two years i think it was in our time. this is like The All Of It, the Biggest Plot, and theres only women. not that you need to get all men out of the way for interesting scenes but. you know what i mean. the scene itself is fucking riveting. we dont get any answers. also gat calls the doctor an abomination to their faces, chefs kiss

i found 13s position as companion really interesting and i think if it were me in charge i'd have had the first half of the scene between ruth and gat filmed sort of from an outsider perspective. instead of putting the camera between them, keeping it behind ruth, to emphasise even more 13s and our position of not understanding what the fuck is going on, and also her powerlessness about it.

and then the last thing im thinking about is jack and the lone cyberman. "dont let it have what it wants At All Costs". "sometimes even i cant win" is right bc 13 was put in a position where either you destroy humanity by giving it what it wants or you destroy humanity by not giving it what it wants. kill humanity to save humanity there really was no winning option.

#anyway those were my 4 (?????!!!?!!?!?!?) year old fugitive of the judoon thoughts #we've had them all before but im forgetful it was nice to have them again #it's a fucking good episode isnt it