#there's a lot of fluff be warned | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aquaquadrant · 1 year

Text

from eden, part IV

Word count: 10,079

Warnings: Self-depreciation, references to past abuse, panic attacks, shipping (nothing explicit, just kissing and maybe slightly suggestive stuff?)

Summary: After some much needed advice from his friends, Tango realizes just how out of sync he is with his heart and finally decides to do something about it.

A/N: Welp, I originally split this one from part 3 cuz I didn’t want it to be too long, but it ended up being 10k, anyways. I’m boo boo the fool. I really wanted to give y’all a sense of the domestic Team Rancher life on the Double Life server, and I kept adding more scenes, so here we are. Oh well, enjoy the extra length as a happy holiday treat! Merry gay crisis!!

Note that this is part of a series (for my and @lunarcrown’s Hels to Pay AU) and should be read in chronological order, all the fics can be found here. Hope y’all enjoy, please reblog if you do! <3 - Aqua

~*~

from eden, part IV - babe, there’s something lonesome about you, something so wholesome about you, get closer to me

~*~

Somewhere in Double Life, a player approaches a house.

Impulse and Bdubs’ house is, for a world that’s only two days old, very impressive. Mid-century modern, Tango thinks it’s called. Smooth white walls with clean lines and geometric angles, contrasting against dark oak. A perfect compromise of their two preferred build styles- Impulse’s industrial modernism with Bdubs’ cozy charm. He comes to a stop at the front door, rapping his fist against it.

“Impulse?” he calls. “Hello, hello?”

“Tango, that you, buddy?” Impulse’s voice comes from within.

“Indeed it is,” Tango replies, drumming his fingers against his leg.

After a second, the door swings open. “Hey!” Impulse greets him, with a smile that shows off his pointed canines. “Come on in. Bdubs is outside working on the pool.”

Tango gives a sage nod. “Ah yes, of course.” He follows Impulse inside, craning his head around to take in the room. “Oh wow, this place is coming along nicely! Lookit- you’ve even got paintings!”

Impulse rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah, it’s getting there,” he says amiably.

It’s mostly unfurnished, but the foundations are far nicer than what Tango cobbled together at the ranch. A stairwell leads to the second floor while the other half of the room is sunken down a step, carrying through that mid-century modern style from the exterior. His gaze falls on the pair of beds against the far wall, pushed right up against each other.

“So,” he says, if only to stall because he knows what Impulse really wants to talk about, “I hear you and Bdubs are married now?”

Immediately, a happy smile spread across Impulse’s face. “Yup, sealed the deal yesterday.”

Tango makes an incredulous noise. “Can’t believe I wasn’t invited, you jerk!” he scoffs, playfully elbowing Impulse in the side. “Does a near decade of friendship mean nothing anymore?”

(Even as he says it, he has to force down a wave of guilt- he’s kept a far greater secret from Impulse for that long.)

Impulse rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “We didn’t have a ceremony or anything!” he defends. “I gave him a clock.”

Instantly, Tango’s humor vanishes. He’d already been eliminated from Third Life when it happened, but he’d heard the story. Bdubs had betrayed Impulse over a clock. Stabbed his ally in the back with no warning. In retrospect, Tango shouldn’t have been so surprised when it happened to him in Last Life.

It cut him deeply, and had taken almost an entire season of Hermitcraft for him to forgive Bdubs for it. Yet here Impulse was, not only forgiving Bdubs but in love with him, willing to be married to him. Tango can’t understand it.

“How?” he asks hoarsely.

Impulse shrugs. “Well, I got pretty lucky with the redstone, it was the gold that took a while ‘cause I still don’t have a fortune pick-”

“No, not that.” Tango swallows, sitting down on the step. He wraps his arms around himself. “How… how did you know? I mean, what if…”

Realization flares in Impulse’s eyes. “It’s just the soulbond making us feel this way?” he finishes, sitting down next to him.

Tango nods mutely.

“Yeah, I asked Grian about that,” Impulse says, leaning forward on his knees. “He said the soulbonds can’t just magically make two random people fall in love. It works with what its got, amplifying feelings that are already there, making them more known, starting up a two-way conversation. So we can decide what to do with it.” He tilts his head. “And you know, it’s not always romantic. Scott and Cleo made that pretty clear.”

“Huh. I guess so,” Tango muses. He gives Impulse a sidelong look. “I uh, I didn’t know you felt that way, about Bdubs.”

Impulse nods. “It came as a bit of a surprise to me, too,” he admits. “I didn’t realize my ‘man crush’ had any real substance to it. But you know, I’ve been good friends with him for a while, so it just felt… natural.” That lovesick smile is back, and it looks right at home on his face. “I mean, you know Bdubs, he was all in right away. He’s got a big heart, and he’s never had a problem loving more than one person at a time.”

Tango quirks an eyebrow. “Someone else part of the equation?”

“Oh, not officially, no,” Impulse says, scratching his chin. “But even though he’s happy with me, he’s still pining after Etho.”

“Ah.” Tango isn’t surprised, though he’s slightly taken aback by the casual manner with which Impulse spoke. “And you’re… alright with that?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve always known he loved Etho,” Impulse says easily, “and that started long before I was even in the picture. I just want my soulmate to be completely happy, even if that means sharing him with someone else.” Now a bit of hesitancy enters his voice as his cheeks darken. “And uh, personally, I… wouldn’t mind seeing more of Etho. I’ve always kinda admired him, you know?”

“Oh,” Tango drawls, his eyebrows shooting up with realization. A grin splits across his face. “Well then, I hope that works out for you, my friend.”

Impulse ducks his head, but he’s smiling, too. “Thanks. He’s gonna talk to Etho about it soon, he’s just trying to get a read on Joel. I mean, as much as we’ve joked about being homewreckers, we don’t actually wanna impose on anyone’s relationship or anything.”

“Oh yeah, no, for sure,” Tango agrees. “You think they’re a thing?”

Impulse waves a hand. “Hard to say? Joel seems pretty enthusiastic, but come on, it’s Etho. I feel like almost everyone’s had a crush on him at one point or another,” he laughs. “Etho’s harder to read, of course. He and Joel don’t know each other that well, but who knows?”

Tango’s throat tightens. “Right, yeah…”

Impulse gives him a confused look before the realization hits. “Oh! No, no, I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Tango says, shrugging. “It’s true. I mean, Grian was sort of the bridge between us and the Empires crew, right, most of us hadn’t even spoken to each other before Third Life.”

Impulse is quiet for a moment. “... how is it going, with Jimmy?” he prompts tentatively.

There it is.

Tango makes a noncommittal noise, arms flailing. “It’s… confusing? Awkward? I don’t know! We were getting along just fine at the start, but there was this incident with a shared bed and now he seems… nervous? Or like, on edge. He’s avoiding me, he gets flustered easily- like if I bump into him or get too close, he gets all red and there’s feathers everywhere…” He swallows. “I’m uh. I’m kinda worried he hates me?”

Impulse blinks. “... uh-huh,” he says slowly. “You’re worried… that Jimmy hates you.”

“Yeah,” Tango frets, and oh boy, now the dam has burst, “I mean, we barely know each other and our first real meeting was when I tricked him into dying in Third Life- that’s not exactly the best first impression! Not to mention this whole situation,” he adds, frantically gesturing towards the blaze rods floating around his head. “Not every player is cool with mob hybrids or monster players, you know that.”

(Impulse’s curved horns and forked tail are almost an afterthought these days, his personality so different from the demonic creature Tango initially figured him as.)

“Tango, buddy,” Impulse says gently, “I don’t think he hates you.”

Tango knits his brows together. “You don’t?”

“I don’t,” Impulse affirms, inclining his head. “I don’t think he cares that you got him killed in Third Life, that’s just the game.” He chuckles. “I mean, I’m over here married to the guy who stabbed me in the back, right?”

“Well, that’s different,” Tango argues. “You’re- you’re a likable guy, alright? You get along with pretty much everyone, and you don’t hold grudges.”

“You think Jimmy does?” Impulse asks.

“No,” Tango replies instantly. Then he flushes. “I mean, I dunno! I wouldn’t blame him! If I were him, I’d be mad at me.”

The look in Impulse’s eye is a little sad, now. “You don’t think you should be forgiven for that?”

Tango opens his mouth, and then closes it again with a click, glancing away. There are a lot of things he shouldn’t be forgiven for. His obsession with tricking players into dying has never been just a game to him. If Impulse knew the truth, he’d feel differently.

Impulse sighs. “Well, I don’t think he dislikes that you’re part mob, either,” he says patiently. A smile pulls at his mouth. “He’s got a giant pair of wings, he’s not exactly a completely human player, either.”

“I mean, there are layers,” Tango protests, despite appreciating the change in conversation. “There’s nuance, and- and complexities to the situation! There’s internalized junk, right, and species prejudices, and mob instincts- I mean, the dynamics between hostile and peaceful mobs alone-”

“I don’t think that’s what’s going on,” Impulse cuts in, putting a hand on Tango’s shoulder. “I actually think he likes you.”

Tango’s mind comes screeching to a halt.

Jimmy… liking him? What in the world would Jimmy like him for? His absolutely abysmal survival skills? His utter inability to build anything even resembling a house? His habit of getting so worked up all his words get jumbled into incoherent spluttering? Or the fact that he’s always one moment away from setting something on fire?

When Tango speaks again, his voice is suddenly three octaves higher. “What?”

“What you described to me doesn’t sound like secret hatred,” Impulse explains, holding his gaze steadily, “it sounds like a crush.”

Tango’s eyes widen. “No, no, no, that can’t be it,” he says quickly, jumping to his feet. He tries for a laugh. “Trust me, that’s not- I didn’t explain it right, okay, there’s no way-”

“Tango, my friend,” Impulse says with a knowing look in his eye, “I think you like him, too.”

Oh.

Tango tries to protest but the words die in his throat, fizzling out into an embarrassing whine. His chest feels tight, his skin prickling unpleasantly with heat. He starts pacing almost unconsciously, raking his hands through his hair.

Him, liking Jimmy. Him, a creature of Hels- of fire, of darkness, of hatred- falling for one of the most kind, genuine players he’s ever met, with feathers the color of sunshine. Oh, the Universe has a sick sense of irony, doesn’t it? He didn’t know it’d be like this, when he agreed to play the game.

Stupid heart, stupid feelings-

“It’s a lot to take in, I know,” Impulse says softly, rising to his feet. “But the way I see it, this world has given us an amazing opportunity.” He puts a hand on his chest. “I mean, I can’t even describe what it’s like, feeling someone else’s love for you through a soulbond. It can be an incredible gift, if you want it.”

“If you want it, yeah,” Tango echoes, his thoughts drifting to Scott and Cleo, and Pearl and Martyn.

What must that rejection feel like, from someone who shares your hearts, your very life essence? Tango fears it would destroy him.

“Okay,” Impulse says, folding his arms, “um, let’s get into it, then. What are you afraid of?”

Tango gives a dry laugh. “Only all of it,” he replies helplessly. “I’ve never- I mean, this would be totally new territory for me. I’m… I’m no good at this kind of thing, alright? And- and I got us killed on the first day! If that’s not a bad omen, I don’t know what is.”

Impulse hums thoughtfully. “You know, most people around here would say that Jimmy’s the bad omen.”

Even Tango is surprised by the outraged squawk that escapes him. “Well, most people are stupid!” he retorts, his blaze rods roaring with fire before he wrestles his emotions back under control. He exhales sharply through his nose. “I mean, that’s stupid, he’s not a curse. That’s not even- it’s just bad luck, okay? It’s not his fault, he…” He trails off, flushing under Impulse’s deliberate look. “What?”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t worry so much,” Impulse says simply, an amused glint in his eye.

The fire leaves Tango as quickly as it had come.

Oh, he’s got it bad, doesn’t he?

Impulse must see it written on Tango’s face, because he sighs. “Look, I know it can be scary to open up your heart to people. And I’d never be one to think that no life is complete without romance. But just having a connection with other players, letting them be close to you… it can really enrich your life.” His voice fills with warmth. “My months with Boatem were some of the happiest I’ve ever had, in any world.”

Tango risks a glance up. “I… didn’t know Boatem was like that.”

“Well, me and Pearl weren’t involved the same way Grian, Scar, and Mumbo were, but still.” Impulse’s expression softens. “And I just… I want that happiness for you, Tango. You’ve come a long way in the time I’ve known you, but I feel like there’s still a distance there, you know?”

If it were almost anyone else, Tango would immediately be on the defensive. He has his walls up for a good reason, thank you very much, and he doesn’t take kindly to having that pointed out. Would he be happier if he just threw his trust around all willy-nilly? Maybe. But he’d also probably be back in Hels by now.

If they knew what kind of player he really was, they never would’ve let him stay.

(Tango still isn’t quite sure how they didn’t figure it out. That first season he spent on Hermitcraft, he wasn’t careful. The shock of adjusting was hard on him, but after that, he’d almost let his rage consume him. How was it fair that he’d been spawned in a world without a sun, trapped in a prison of endless pain and suffering, while everyone else in the Universe enjoyed limitless freedom? He’d wanted to hurt them so badly- to make someone, anyone, hurt like he had.

Imagine his surprise, when his attacks and traps were taken as lighthearted pranks. When he was constantly faced with endless kindness and patience and generosity. When his redstone knowledge was sought after with genuine curiosity and appreciation. When they considered him a friend even though he was really a wolf among sheep, a fox in the henhouse, a snake in the garden.

Imagine his surprise, at discovering a world filled with people who couldn’t even fathom those around them having bad intentions.)

But this is Impulse, one of his oldest friends. He knows firsthand how fiercely Tango protects his heart (even if he doesn’t know why) and he’s always been honest with Tango (even if Tango hasn’t returned the favor). Tango has no doubt Impulse believes in what he’s saying- believes that Tango is worthy and deserving of love.

But deep down, Tango’s always known that good things aren’t meant for him.

“Maybe,” Tango says finally. He exhales heavily. “So I take it you and Bdubs are staying.”

Impulse nods. “Yup. I mean, we’ll still go back and forth with Hermitcraft, of course. And you know, I’ve got my world with Skizz, and my solo hardcore world… but we agreed it’d be nice to have this world to come back to.” He raises an eyebrow. “What about you and Jimmy?”

“I don’t know.” Tango’s throat tightens. “I mean, we barely know each other- is there even any point? It feels- it’s too much, too fast.”

Impulse tilts his head. “Well, you’ve got what seems like a mutual attraction, and have spent the last couple days working together, supporting each other. I think that’s enough to start building on.” He shrugs. “I mean, if it doesn’t work out, you guys can just leave, go your separate ways. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Tango can immediately think of a few things.

Scenario one: he bares his heart to Jimmy, and Jimmy doesn’t feel the same, and even though he’s gone this long perfectly fine without love in his life, the rejection is devastating and he gives up on love forever. He could probably be alright with that, but it would make any later death games unbearably uncomfortable, and that’d be a real shame.

Scenario two: he’s not meant for love, and he messes up so badly that Jimmy hates him forever, and that hate spreads to the rest of his friends because despite how they tease Jimmy they all care a lot about him, and it irreparably damages Tango’s relationship with the Hermits. Maybe even enough for them to cut ties with him altogether, kick him out of Hermitcraft.

Scenario three: he gets the hang of this love business, but he falls too deep and reveals his secret to Jimmy, and he might be rejected after that, and Jimmy could tell everyone else and irreparably damage Tango’s relationship with the Hermits. He might even get sent back to Hels, if they figure out a way to do that (it’s definitely possible; if Tango himself isn’t proof, there was that thing with Helsknight a while back).

Or, scenario four: he and Jimmy are happy together, but it’s built on a lie. Tango keeps his past and true nature hidden, with Jimmy none the wiser. It’s bad enough keeping that secret from his friends. Does he have the right to keep that from a soulmate? Is that deception worth it, to find such happiness?

It’s a selfish thought. But Tango’s always been a selfish creature.

“It’s up to you,” Impulse continues. “But personally, I think you should stay, see where it goes. Even if it turns out to just be a simple crush that doesn’t lead to anything, Jimmy’s a good guy.”

Tango gives a hollow laugh. “Yeah, I know.”

The problem is, Tango’s not.

~*~

Branches crunch beneath Tango’s boots as he makes his way through the forest.

He’d been hoping his conversation with Impulse would help clear his mind, but he’s more confused than ever. It’s undeniable now that he feels… something for Jimmy. But what’s he supposed to do with it? There are so many scenarios where this ends badly. Is it even worth it, to try and pursue this? He shoves his hands in his pockets with a sigh, kicking a stray rock out of his path.

“Hi, Tango!”

The sudden voice makes Tango jump a foot in the air, with a very undignified shout. He whirls around to see a figure cloaked in red.

“Oh! Oh hi, Pearl!” Tango greets her, catching his breath.

“Hi.” Pearl’s red eyes burn from beneath her hood. Her fuzzy antennae and wings are hidden under the fabric, giving her the overall impression of a standard human player- who happens to be quite red. In the context of the game, it’s an intimidating look.

Tango clears his throat. “I uh, I see you found your dog,” he says, nodding towards the tamed wolf at her side. He keeps his distance- dogs don’t generally like him (maybe he smells too much like a blaze?) and this one is already sniffing at him suspiciously.

“Yeah!” Pearl beams, glancing down at her dog. “Yeah, I’ve got my Tilly back now, and everythin’s good.”

“Good, good,” Tango says amiably. “At least there’s that.”

Pearl takes a step forward, pulling up her inventory. “Here, I’ve got somethin’ for ya.”

“Oh?” Tango tilts his head, watching her movements closely. “I- I like gifts, as long as they don’t end in death.”

Pearl chuckles. “No, no death, silly, we’re on a pause. Here.” She holds something out to him- a bucket filled with powdered snow. “You redstone people can do science with that, yeah?”

Tango blinks. “Oh, uh, sure! Yeah, I- I can think of a few uses, maybe down the line, yeah.” He studies her for a moment. “To what do I owe such a kind gesture?”

“Just take it,” Pearl says, her tone suddenly wooden. She bites her lip. “I don’t wanna have it anymore, I… I shouldn’t have it.”

Tango carefully takes the bucket. “And why is that?”

Pearl hums noncommittally, stroking her dog’s head. “Well, the thing is, Tango, I would use it to torture my soulbound, Scott.”

Tango’s heart jolts, and he nearly drops the bucket. “Oh. That’s-”

“Just a little bit!” Pearl says quickly. “I’d- I’d get in there until we were good and freezin’, and then slowly let our health go down. Just to make him sweat a little, y’know?” Her voice grows softer but somehow more raw, aching with longing. “I just… wanted him to hurt, just a little. Like he hurt me. You know?”

Tango does know. He knows a little too well.

But he flinches back from her, stammering, “I- I don’t-”

“But- but the thing is, Tango,” Pearl cuts in, putting a hand out, “I realized- it wasn’t makin’ me feel better. I was just hurtin’ myself. And I don’t mean the literal damage, alright? I mean… I wasn’t fixin’ anything. I wasn’t changin’ anything. And I realized, how- how could I tell him to trust me, to take me back, if I was hurtin’ him all the time?”

“Right.” Tango hesitates. He isn’t familiar with all the complexities regarding the Pearl-Scott-Cleo-Martyn situation, but there’s one thing he knows for sure. “You know, Scott, uh-”

“Doesn’t like girls?” Pearl gives him an exasperated look. “I know. I was paired with him in Last Life, I know. I don’t want him to like me that way. But we’re soulmates, that should count for somethin’, right?”

Tango laughs without humor, putting the bucket away. “You’d think it would, yeah.”

“All I did was go to the nether,” Pearl murmurs. Her gaze is slightly unfocused now, as if she’s talking to herself. “I took a lot of damage, yeah, but I was eatin’, too! I was bein’ careful- as careful as you can be in the nether, anyhow. I was bein’ good! I was good.” She takes a shaky breath before meeting Tango’s gaze again. “But that didn’t matter to him.”

Tango’s throat tightens. “Yeah, well,” he says, folding his arms, “some people- for some people, they’re always gonna see the worst in you, no matter what you do.”

Pearl is quiet for a moment. “I think he’s right, though,” she says, lowering herself to sit on an outcropping of stone. “To be mad at me.”

“Oh?” Tango raises his eyebrows, sitting across from her. “How’s that?”

Pearl wraps her arms around herself. “I didn’t go to the nether for him- or, whoever I thought my soulbound would be,” she confesses. “We- Martyn and I- we wanted to get the good resources, yeah, but that shouldn’t have taken priority over keepin’ our health intact. I didn’t consider what it’d be like, for my soulbound. I didn’t even try to find them before I went! I was so determined to do it, to do this big, grand thing, but… I should’ve realized it would’ve been enough if I’d just shown up.” She tips her head back, blinking rapidly. “I would’ve been enough, on my own. Just me. But I didn’t, and now…”

Her dog, Tilly, lets out a soft whine and licks Pearl’s hand. That makes Pearl look over with a smile- albeit one that’s sad at the corners- and scratch Tilly between the ears.

Tango’s heart twists. He admittedly hasn’t known Pearl for very long, but he can tell how awful she feels about the whole situation. It’s a jarring contrast to her usual upbeat, goofy self.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he tells her, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, I… I take it you won’t be hanging around, then, if we stop the game?”

Pearl looks at him in surprise. “No, no, I’m stayin’ either way,” she assures him.

Now it’s Tango’s turn to be surprised. “What? Really?” He furrows his brows. “... why? Why would you hang around for someone that doesn’t want you? Why- why would you put yourself through that?”

Pearl sighs. “Because… if there’s even a chance that things could get better, between Scott and I- just a small chance that he could forgive me, that I could be happy someday… it’s worth it to me to take it. To stay and fight for it.” She tilts her head. “Y’know what I mean?”

Well, isn’t that quite the question. Is happiness worth fighting for… Tango knows what he’d tell anyone else, if they asked him. Yes, of course, absolutely, go fight for your happiness! You deserve to be happy- he’d tell any of his friends that in a heartbeat. But when it comes to himself, it’s not such an easy answer.

“I… think I might, yeah,” Tango says softly. “But what if… aren’t you worried that he won’t forgive you? That maybe- maybe you don’t deserve to be forgiven?”

“Oh, ‘course I am,” Pearl answers matter-of-factly. “Terrified, even. But the way I see it, whether I’m deservin’ or not… it’s not up to me. That’s somethin’ for the other person to decide. You can think yourself the most worthy, deservin’ person of someone’s love, but that doesn’t mean they have to give it.” Her voice softens. “And I’ve come to find that not thinking yourself worthy won’t stop someone from givin’ it to ya, either. At least, not when it’s real.”

“That’s… quite profound, Pearl,” Tango says, taken aback.

Pearl shrugs. “You get a lotta time to think, when you’re on your own.”

Tango huffs a laugh. “Don’t I know it.”

“Mmm.” Pearl gives him a considering look, a smile playing on her lips. “You got those goat horns, yet?”

Despite himself, Tango grins. “Not yet, no.”

“Well, good luck,” Pearl says, a knowing glint in her eye as she straightens up.

“Thanks,” Tango says, rising to his feet. “You too.”

“C’mon, Tilly.” Pearl turns away, her cloak swishing around her ankles. “We’ve got someplace else to be, and I think Tango does, too.”

Player and dog disappear into the trees. For a moment, Tango stands alone in the forest, Pearl’s words echoing in his head. All the years he’s spent playing this game, and it seems he’s still got new things to learn.

Tango starts walking.

~*~

Tango returns to the ranch with renewed determination.

Uncomfortable or not, he and Jimmy need to talk. If Impulse’s hunch is right, then Tango needs to do something before their chronic misunderstanding ruins any chance of them having a good relationship. But even if Impulse’s hunch isn’t right, and Jimmy does actually hate him, he’d rather know sooner than later.

He finds Jimmy inside the ranch, staring intently at his communicator. Jimmy yelps in surprise at Tango’s entrance, scattering feathers through the air.

“Tango!” he gasps. “You scared me!”

“Sorry.” Tango cringes, gently closing the door behind him. He really needs to stop doing that. “Listen, I-”

“No, no, there’s something I’ve gotta tell you,” Jimmy says, standing up. He still seems nervous, but there’s a hard line to his jaw and his back is straight, meeting Tango’s eyes in a rare display of boldness.

Oh, okay, change of plans. Tango nods hesitantly, bracing himself.

Jimmy takes a deep breath. “That night we shared a bed? I woke up, and- and we were cuddling.”

Tango blinks. That… is not what he was expecting. “Uh-”

“I know!” Jimmy starts pacing the length of the room. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know how- I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know what to do- I just got up without waking you, but then I thought I ought to tell you but it just felt so awkward, I couldn’t figure out how to bring it up but I couldn’t stop thinking about it, either. So- so that’s why I decided to go mining, I thought some time to clear my head would help but I still didn’t know what to say.” He finally turns to face Tango, wincing. “I’m sorry.”

Tango stares at Jimmy in amazement.

So that’s what all the stilted conversations were about- Jimmy was feeling guilty, not upset with Tango. To think someone could be that concerned about crossing Tango’s boundaries- even accidentally! Oh, it all makes so much sense, now. Of course Jimmy doesn’t hate him- Tango doesn’t think Jimmy’s capable of hating anyone, not really.

“Lemme get this straight,” Tango says slowly, holding out a hand. “You wake up to find me cuddling you, and you feel guilty about it?”

Jimmy blinks. “I- wait. How did you-”

“I haven’t been totally honest, either,” Tango admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “I… actually woke up before you did that morning, I just pretended to be asleep. It was an awkward situation, okay, and I didn’t wanna make it a whole thing- which uh, seems to have backfired into a failure of epic proportions, now.”

“Oh… my gosh,” Jimmy breathes, his eyes widening.

“So, yeah.” Tango breaks into a sheepish grin. “It’s- it’s not a big deal, right? I mean, what’s a little cuddling between soulmates?”

Jimmy runs a hand through his hair, still looking stunned. “You’re not mad?” he asks tentatively.

“Course I’m not mad!” Tango exclaims, disbelieving. He was arguably the more dishonest party here, and Jimmy isn’t even upset- and in fact, is worried about Tango being upset with him. How is that possible? “Are you- you’ve been an amazing soulmate, alright?”

Jimmy blushes- and oh, now Tango sees it.

“Well- well, good,” Jimmy says, a shy grin spreading across his face. “Um- well, I feel a bit silly, now.”

Tango laughs- a real, genuine laugh from his gut, and it feels good. “Hey, hey, you and me both!” he says ruefully. “Oh wow, we both really over-thought this whole thing, didn’t we?”

“Guess we did,” Jimmy chuckles. “Guess we’re perfect for each other.”

Warmth swells in Tango’s chest. “Guess so.”

It’s not everything Tango knows he should say. But for right now, it’s enough.

~*~

They finally get their goat horns.

After a lot of hilarious scrambling and many head-butts to the ribs, they get their goats to produce two horns. The horns play the same tune; one that no one else in the world has, aptly named ‘Sing.’ It’s a lighter, more playful song than the other horns. Tango listens to the cacophony that results when Jimmy gets a response to his call, and watches fondly as Jimmy shrieks with utter delight at finally being heard, flapping excitedly around the pen as goats bleat at him and paw the grass.

<PearlescentMoon> Congrats! :D

Tango’s horn earns a permanent spot in his hotbar.

~*~

“Tango, watch out!”

“Eeep!” Tango shrieks in alarm as Jimmy swoops over, slashing at the creeper that’s snuck up behind him. The blow knocks the creeper back, but not quite far enough as it flashes white. Jimmy sweeps Tango behind him with his wings and pulls his shield up-

BOOM.

The explosion knocks them back a little, but they take no damage- which is fortunate, because they’ve just come back from a mining session with inventories full of valuables. Their front lawn, however, now has a new crater in it.

“Oh my gosh, that was close,” Jimmy breathes, turning to face Tango. “You okay?”

Tango makes an incredulous noise; it takes a few tries for him to get actual words out. “Uh- yeah! That was incredible!” he gushes. “With the- with the swoop and the bam and the- oh, what a hero!”

“It was nothing,” Jimmy says lightly, but he can’t quite hide his pleased grin. He hops down into the hole and starts filling it in with the stray bits of dirt lying around. “Man, we really need to light this place up better.”

“First order of business tomorrow, yeah,” Tango agrees, offering Jimmy his hand as he climbs back out of the hole. They fall back into step as they walk up to the house. “Now, are you- are you sure you wanna be stuck with me? I mean, there might be quite a few creeper deaths in the future,” he warns, only half joking.

Jimmy stops, turning to give Tango a surprised look. “Yeah, yeah of course!” he assures him. “I’m honestly surprised that you wanna stick with me. I mean, I do have sort of a reputation… for uh, always being the first out.” He glances away, rubbing the back of his neck. “And- and I guess that won’t matter now, if we aren’t continuing the game, but still-”

“No, no, hey- I don’t care about that,” Tango tells him firmly, putting a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “What, you think I’m scared of a little death? Come on, now! Besides, I’ve seen Impulse and Bdubs’ place and we cannot let the ranch stay in this sorry state, alright? We’ve got some work to do, that tower is horrendous.”

Jimmy glances up at the tower, making a noncommittal noise. “It’s not that bad…” he says, generously.

Tango snorts, shaking his head. “No, no, no, it’s bad. You can say it. It looks like a foot.”

That startles a laugh out of Jimmy before he can clap a hand over his mouth.

“Right?” Tango presses, a grin spreading across his face. “Doesn’t it? You can’t unsee that, now.”

“Oh my gosh, it does,” Jimmy says with a chuckle.

“That’ll be the first thing to go,” Tango promises, opening the door for Jimmy. “We’ll get this place looking at least adequate, alright, I figure between the two of us, we- we should amount to one builder, right?”

“Hopefully,” Jimmy hums. “We can chip away at it- we’ve got time, right?”

“Yeah,” Tango says warmly, “we’ve got time.”

~*~

The vote happens the next day.

By unanimous decision, all the Double Life members agree to end the death game and continue living in the world peacefully. Even Martyn and Pearl, it seems, are holding onto the hope of a happy ending.

~*~

Impulse and Bdubs throw a party at their place, to celebrate Grian taking the world border down.

Everyone actually shows up- probably because there’s no longer the fear of it being a trap, and they’ve got nothing else really going on. The house isn’t that different from when Tango saw it last, though the backyard seems to have gotten some work. The hillside swimming pool is paved with copper blocks and surrounded by neatly trimmed shrubs, flanked by a little patio area with deck chairs and umbrellas.

Impulse is cooking steaks on the grill as players chat and splash around in the pool, ‘Otherside’ playing from a jukebox in the background. Tango is abstaining from the pool, because even though water doesn’t damage him like it does to blaze, he avoids it when he can- especially if its cold. Cleo, who isn’t keen to accidentally turn into a drowned, has joined him on the deck chairs to watch the other players’ antics.

Their soulmates (chosen, in Cleo’s case) are sitting on the edge of the pool, idly kicking their legs in the water as they catch up. Pearl is running around the yard with her dogs (yes, plural- since Tango saw her last, she’s acquired several more). Grian and Scar have challenged Bigb and Ren to a game of chicken- which isn’t really a contest, with Ren’s huge size difference, but Martyn is doing a riveting job of commentating, anyways, even though its to an only somewhat attentive audience.

“Oh, excellent job with the copper, Bdubs,” Etho drawls, gazing out over the pool as Grian is toppled from Scar’s shoulders with a shriek. His voice is filled with mirth, as if he’s smiling behind his mask. “I love the combination, unoxidized and oxidized together…”

“Very freaking funny!” Bdubs huffs, stomping his foot. “You- you know how long that stuff takes to oxidize?”

Joel snickers. “But aren’t you- aren’t you supposed to spread it out to let it oxidize first?” he asks, quirking a brow. “Before actually putting it in your build? It’s faster if they’re farther apart-”

“Well I had to pave the pool with somethin’!” Bdubs exclaims, throwing his hands up. “If I- what, am I supposed to have a- a cobblestone pool? A dirt pool?! Then- that’d just be a pond! And you- and you jokers would’ve laughed me off the world!”

It’s sort of a moot point, as they all break into laughter anyways.

“You know, dudes,” Ren muses, hoisting himself up to sit on the pool’s ledge, “this would’ve been a perfect place to set a trap. Bubblevate up through the swimming pool, you know?”

Cleo and Etho exchange an amused look.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Bdubs scowls, crossing his arms. “Ruin my perfect swimmin’ pool…”

“Game’s over, man,” Bigb chuckles, patting Ren on the arm as he leans against the pool’s rim. “You can relax.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Ren says sheepishly. Then he shakes himself off, immediately making everyone yelp and recoil from the splatter. “Oh- sorry! Sorry!”

One of Tango’s blaze rods extinguishes with a hiss, only to quickly reignite as he laughs at Cleo’s expression. “So much for avoiding water,” he jokes.

Cleo sighs. “We really ought to know better by now.”

“Steaks will be done in another couple minutes!” Impulse calls over his shoulder. Pleased murmurs filter through the group- before Grian and Scar team up to dunk Ren back into the pool, and the splashing and laughter begins anew.

Tango sits up. “Be right back,” he says to Cleo, “I’m gonna go tell Impulse to burn mine.”

Cleo snorts. “I don’t know how you can eat it like that, it’s basically coal.”

Tango pretends to be offended. “C’mon, it’s all about the smokiness!” he insists, hopping to his feet. “If- if you want, I can tell him to make one for you to try-”

“God no,” Cleo laughs, waving him off, “I’ve already had him save a raw one for me.”

“Spoken like a true zombie,” Tango teases as he turns away. He makes his way over to the grill, side-stepping around the Etho-Bdubs-Joel group as they debate about some block palette builder nonsense.

“Don’t worry,” Impulse says, without even turning around. “I’ve set yours aside til it’s nice and charred.”

Tango grins- he should’ve known Impulse remembered how he likes his steaks. “Thank you, thank you,” he hums, leaning against the side of the grill to enjoy the warm metal against his skin and the scent of fire. He lets out a contented sigh, letting his eyes shut for a moment.

“So,” Impulse ventures casually, “are you and Jimmy…?”

Tango’s eyes flutter open. “Not yet,” he says, amused, “but we’re sticking around. Gonna see how it goes.”

“Good, good.” Impulse nods, a pleased smile curling his mouth. “I’m glad you two worked it out.”

Tango glances out towards the pool, where Jimmy is sitting with Scott. He has a peaceful expression on his face as he talks, his wings occasionally ruffling against sprays of water as his gaze travels across the pool. Then Jimmy happens to meet Tango’s eyes. He pauses mid-sentence, mouth slightly parted, before he offers a shy smile and lifts a hand in greeting. Tango feels his heart skip a beat as he waves back.

“Me too,” he says softly.

~*~

They start renovation on the ranch.

Tango’s janky perimeter wall comes down, to be expanded around the neighboring plains biome with a more tasteful fence. They plot out where they’re going to move the cattle- because all the mooing and the smell is getting hard to tolerate- as well as paddocks for sheep and pigs (once they’ve been acquired, of course). Maybe even a barn for horses, like a proper ranch.

The building itself gets bumped out a little, increasing the floor plan’s square footage enough to have actual separate rooms- an entry hall with a staircase, a living room, and a kitchen. The tower is completely torn down so construction on the second floor can begin properly, which is where they put their bedroom.

Bedroom, singular. Only because they need the rest of the space to put in a big storage room and bathroom. There’s still plenty of room in it for their beds to go against opposite walls (though, if Tango’s not mistaken, Jimmy seemed a little disappointed at that).

They chip away at the ranch as the days pass. Grian and Scar drop by to trade sugarcane for leather, evidently not concerned with holding the monopoly anymore, now that the death game has concluded. They end up helping out with the ranch’s block palette and landscaping, planting big oak trees in strategic places to break up the flat terrain.

Bdubs and Impulse come over to drop off a couple spare horses from their attempts to get Etho and Joel good mounts; they’re pretty slow and only half decent jumpers, but Jimmy is thrilled just to have them. Bdubs is offended by their mostly empty house and helps Jimmy put together interiors as Tango and Impulse install a sugarcane farm in the basement.

Their wheat farm expands to cover the rolling hills on either side of the ranch, split by a winding cobblestone path leading up to the front door. The staircase down to their mine gets a proper entrance, a little wooden lean-to adorned with lanterns and barrels. Over time, the ranch starts to feel lived in, with stray golden feathers littering the floor and occasional scorch marks from blaze rods burned into the furniture.

Little by little, it starts to feel like home.

“It’s getting there,” Tango concludes with a nod, dusting his hands off from a long day’s work.

“It is, look at it!” Jimmy says proudly, hands on his hips as he surveys the build. “Home sweet home.”

“Home sweet home,” Tango agrees, though he’s looking at Jimmy when he says it.

~*~

It happens on an unassuming day.

Business as usual around the ranch. Tango and Jimmy are running around like headless chickens, trying to relocate a herd of cattle that seem to lose interest in wheat every five seconds. It’s hardly a glamorous job, leaving them hot and sweaty and smelling very unpleasant, but they’re laughing and having fun anyways.

Jimmy finally scoops up the last wayward calf, easily carrying the small bovine in his arms, and flies it over the fence to its mother. He sets the calf down with the utmost care, giving it a gentle pat on the nose, before jogging back over to Tango and hopping the fence.

“Looks like we’ve finally got the hang’a this rancher thing,” Jimmy says with a grin and a bad country accent, and there’s stray stalks of wheat in his hair and the midday sunlight is reflecting so perfectly in his deep brown eyes, and the next thing Tango knows, he’s grabbed Jimmy by the shirt to pull him into a kiss.

It only lasts a second before Tango’s mind catches up with him, and he breaks away. Reality crashes over him like a bucket of icy cold water- oh my god, why did he just do that?!

Jimmy stares at him, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly parted. “Um…”

“I- I’m so sorry,” Tango stammers, feeling his face burn, “I should’ve asked-”

“No, no, no, don’t- don’t be sorry,” Jimmy says breathlessly, his wings fluttering. “I… oh my gosh, I was so- I- I wasn’t sure if you liked me that way, but I was hoping-”

“Oh?” Tango’s heart skips a beat. “Oh, so you were-”

“Yep.”

“And I…?”

“Uh huh.”

“So we both-”

“Seems that way.”

“Well, alright then.” Tango gives a curt nod. “Good. So how- how do we feel about the uh, the whole kissing thing?”

“Uh- yes,” Jimmy says quickly, his whole face flushed. “Very much yes, please.”

“Are- are you sure?” Tango asks, managing to keep his tone light despite the way his stomach is turning somersaults. “Even though I’m all sweaty and gross? I mean, are you sure you really want to date this mess?”

“Now wait a second, Tango,” Jimmy says sternly, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re an amazing guy, alright, and an amazing soulmate. I’ve always thought you were attractive- even before we were soulbound- so now that we’re both finally on the same page, would you stop second-guessing yourself and kiss me already?”

Tango grins. “Happy to oblige,” he says, leaning back in.

~*~

Somehow, word travels around.

<InTheLittleWood> It finally happened!!

<Grian> what??

<Grian> WAIT NO

<InTheLittleWood> GRIAN YOU OWE ME TEN DIAMONDS

<Grian> NOOOOOO I HAD THREE MORE DAYS

<impulseSV> About time, you two! :D

<ZombieCleo> what is happening

<Smallishbeans> our little timmy has finally grown up!

<Smajor1995> i give it a week lol

<GoodTimeWithScar> Congrats to the happy couple! May I just remind everyone that the Panda Sanctaury is open for visitors! Lovely couples retreat, very romantic

<Tango> i hate all of you

~*~

“Oh… my gosh,” Jimmy breathes, his eyes wide.

Tango can barely contain his glee. “What- what am I looking at, here?” he asks, raking his hands through his hair.

Dwelling within Scar’s lush bamboo sanctuary are giant, round, fluffy white-and-grey pandas that look suspiciously like a certain familiar feline. They chitter and chatter to each other, gnawing on bamboo and turning somersaults and just being generally ridiculous.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Scar asks, fondly scratching one under the chin. “These are my one-of-a-kind Jellie Pandas.”

Tango stares at them in awe. “They’re so… fluffy.”

Scar nods sagely. “They are, they are. Fluffiest pandas in all the land.”

“This is amazing!” Jimmy exclaims with a broad smile, gently petting one of the pandas. He’s drawn a small crowd of them, sniffing and snuffling at his soft wings and then sneezing adorably. It’s a stupidly adorable sight. An adora-double-whammy.

“I’m so glad you think so!” Scar says, putting a hand over his heart. “Grian wouldn’t let me bring them in the house-”

“I’m not having a bunch of smelly pandas shedding fur all over our house, Scar!” Grian’s head suddenly appears above the sanctuary’s wall, poking out from the window of the building next to it.

Scar gasps. “Grian! Take that back!” he pouts, putting his hands on his hips. “The Jellie Pandas aren’t smelly-”

“I’m- I’m slaving away building over here, making a lovely home-”

“It is a lovely home, but wouldn’t it be lovelier with a Jellie Panda in it? What about just one?”

“Scar, I can’t have this conversation again-”

“What about just a baby one?”

“Babies don’t stay small forever, Scar!”

Tango exchanges an amused look with Jimmy. Perhaps they aren’t the ones in need of a ‘couple’s retreat,’ here.

~*~

“Hey, um, Tango?”

Tango pauses as he’s about to climb into bed, glancing over his shoulder at Jimmy. “Yes?”

Jimmy’s already in his bed, covers pulled up to his chin. He won’t quite meet Tango’s gaze, his cheeks pink. “Could you… uh, do you wanna… maybe… put your bed a bit closer?” he asks tentatively. “It’s just- you’re so warm, and I know I said before that I wasn’t cold but- well, that might not’ve been completely true. You know, it’s just- we’re right up against a spruce biome and those forests can get quite chilly at night-”

“Oh!” Tango blinks before breaking into a grin. “Oh, I see.”

Jimmy flushes even more. “I mean, if that’s alright with you-”

“Yeah, yeah of course!” Tango hooks his fingers under the bed frame and starts dragging it across the floor. “I mean, why- why wouldn’t it be? We’re just two soulmates, huddling up for warmth-”

“Tango,” Jimmy groans, embarrassed.

“Here.” Tango pushes his bed until its flush with Jimmy’s, giving him an expectant look. “Is this- is this alright?”

“... yes,” Jimmy says shyly, though he’s grinning. “Go on then, get in here. As if you don’t wanna cuddle. Need I remind you what happened last time?”

Now it’s Tango’s turn to blush. “I can’t help it, you’re very cuddly!” he defends, climbing into bed.

Jimmy chuckles. “Right, come here, then.” He sweeps Tango closer with his wing before hooking an arm around him, their faces only inches apart. “Is this- are you okay with this? Are you comfortable?”

Tango leans forward to give Jimmy a peck on the nose. “Very,” he says, snuggling up against Jimmy.

~*~

They quickly find they both sleep much better when sharing a bed. Even the other players notice a difference, which leads to more than a couple jokes about ‘sleeping well’ that Jimmy tolerates with slight mortification and Tango responds to with a lot of flustered spluttering.

~*~

“Honey, I’m home!” Tango calls, drawing out the words in an exaggerated fashion as he closes the ranch’s door behind him.

Jimmy pokes his head out of the kitchen. “Oh, great! You’re just in time for dinner.”

“Oh, perfect.” Tango wanders over to the kitchen, inhaling deeply. “Mmm, it smells amazing!”

“Well, you’re real easy to cook for,” Jimmy says humbly, dishing up the plates. “All I’ve gotta do is burn it.”

“True,” Tango chuckles, stopping to give Jimmy a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling out his chair. “Still, though. Thanks.”

Jimmy hums, setting their plates down and taking his seat. “Also… I know you were just joking around, but uh… I- I wouldn’t mind if you called me that.”

Tango blinks. “What, honey?”

“Yeah.” Jimmy clears his throat, busying himself with his food. “I mean, if- if you want.”

A fond smile spreads across Tango’s face. “Sure thing, honey.”

~*~

Tango is running through a field of wither roses.

It’s endless, the black flowers stretching far beyond the blood-red horizon. They drag at him, their icy toxin coursing through his veins, stealing his breath. There might as well be iron blocks strapped to his feet- he has to fight for every step, fueled solely by panic and desperation to get away from the figure pursuing him.

The man is familiar, his pitch black lab coat silhouetted against the red sky. He walks at a leisurely pace, arms folded neatly behind his back, completely unbothered by the wither roses.

“It’s time to go home, Mr. Tango,” he calls, almost sounding amused. “We’ve got work to do.”

“No!” Tango’s legs finally give out on him, and he stumbles to the ground. Thorns bite into his skin, snagging on the chains dangling from his wrists- he claws through them, trying in vain to drag himself away from the inevitable, breath fogging in the air as frigid tears prick his eyes.

“It’s only a matter of time before I catch you,” the man says, now looming over Tango. “And then you’ll be back where you belong.”

“Stay back!” Tango bares his teeth in a snarl.

Dr. Atlas peers down at him over his shades, a grin splitting across his face. “You’ve always known this couldn’t last forever, haven’t you?”

A growl starts up in Tango’s throat, monstrous and foreign. “I said, stay back!”

He reaches inwardly for his fire, blaze rods igniting and whirling around him. The wither roses burst into flame, filling the air with thick smoke. The tears streaking down Tango’s face feel like lava now, and the roar echoing in his skull seems to be coming from his very core, some hidden depth inside him.

His vision turns red and his nose fills with the scent of burning-

“Tango!”

Tango jolts awake, gasping for breath. There’s a hard floor beneath him, a distinct singed smell in the air. His chest feels too tight, as if the wither roses are still robbing him of oxygen, and his entire body is shaking violently. He twists to right himself, and then recoils when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s me.” Jimmy’s voice comes from somewhere above him. “You’re alright, Tango.”

The rush of panic leaves Tango as quickly as it came. He reaches blindly for Jimmy, for something to ground himself.

“Tango, hey, hey, look at me,” Jimmy says quietly. “You’re alright, just breathe.”

Tango struggles to catch his breath, head whipping around. Jimmy’s face swims into focus, filled with concern. It takes a second for Tango to find his voice. “Where…?”

“You’re at the ranch. You’re safe,” Jimmy soothes him. “You had a nightmare.”

Tango’s heart rate gradually slows as he looks around. He’s on the floor of their bedroom, next to their beds. The covers are tangled and thrown aside, flecked with patches of what looks suspiciously like burned fabric. It’s still dark outside their window, the room lit only by the glow of Tango’s blaze rods.

The memory of the nightmare is still fresh in Tango’s mind. He exhales shakily. “I… I- I didn’t…”

“You don’t have to talk about it, alright?” Jimmy murmurs. “I’m here.”

Gratefully, Tango slumps against Jimmy, still trembling. He doesn’t think he’d be able to talk about it right now even if he wanted to.

Maybe someday. But not today.

As awareness slowly comes back to Tango, he realizes that his hands are stinging. He pulls away from Jimmy, blinking down at his hands in confusion. He’s still got his gloves on, nothing seems to have happened to his hands, why would they hurt-

Oh.

“Did I burn you?” Tango asks suddenly.

Alarm flashes in Jimmy’s eyes. “Tango, it’s fine-”

“Did I burn you?” Tango repeats.

Jimmy hesitates. “... a little,” he admits, wincing. He quickly rushes to explain, “It’s really not that bad, though, and- and I know you didn’t mean to. Your skin was just really hot, I was trying to wake you up and-”

“Let me see?” Tango asks, his voice hoarse.

Jimmy sighs, relenting, and shows Tango his hands. His palms are red and angry, though luckily don’t seem to have blistered. But that doesn’t stop a wave of guilt from crashing over Tango anyway.

Tango’s throat tightens. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry-”

“I’m okay!” Jimmy insists, almost pleading. “I promise, I’m okay, it’s just a little burn.”

Tango makes an unhappy noise, his brows furrowing. “Here. Here, here, take these.” He starts to pull his gloves off, working them through the cuffs around his wrists. “They’ll protect against any other accidents.”

Jimmy looks taken aback. “Oh. Um, alright, if you’re sure…” He trails off, eyes widening.

Tango gives him a confused look before it hits him. Right, he forgot- Jimmy hasn’t seen him without his gloves on. He’s never seen Tango’s claws- the ugly, sharp, blackened points. It must be a jarring sight.

He quickly shoves the gloves at Jimmy, moving to get up. “I’ll uh, I’ll get another pair tomorrow-”

Jimmy lightly catches him by the arm. “No, no, it’s okay,” he says, his voice soft. “Can I…?”

Tango swallows, settling back onto the floor. Wordlessly, he lets Jimmy’s grip shift towards his hand, gently pulling it towards him. He studies Tango’s claws with careful interest, his thumb absentmindedly stroking the back of Tango’s hand. Then Jimmy slowly lifts Tango’s hand to his lips, and-

And he kisses it.

Tango blinks. Then he blinks again, his vision rapidly becoming blurred with tears. Just like that, he’s full-on sobbing again, collapsed against Jimmy’s chest. And Jimmy lets him, simply holding him as he cries, wings curled around them as if to block out the rest of the world. As if for this moment, they’re the only two players in existence.

And for this moment, Tango believes it.

~*~

When they visit the newly developing shopping district the next day, Jimmy holds Tango’s hand the entire time, clawed fingers fitting snugly in his gloved grip.

~*~

“Hey, Jimmy,” Tango calls, knocking on their bedroom door before opening it- a new habit to cut back on how much scaring he does. “Are you- oh, hi.”

Jimmy is sitting cross-legged on their double beds, wings flared out around him. He isn’t wearing Tango’s gloves at the moment- they’re sitting beside him on the bed, leaving his hands bare as they gingerly rifle through his feathers. There are already quite a few scattered on the bedspread around him.

“Sorry,” Tango says, realizing Jimmy’s looking at him expectantly, “am I interrupting something?”

“No, it’s okay, I’m just preening,” Jimmy assures him, though he can’t seem to help blushing a little. “It’s, uh- it’s an avian thing.”

“Oh, right.” Tango nods. He’s seen Grian picking at his wings before. “Sorry, I’ll leave you to it-”

“Actually, um-” Jimmy coughs into his fist. “There’s… there’s some itchy feathers in a spot back here that I can’t really reach. Would you mind…?”

Tango jolts in surprise. “Oh! Oh, sure. Should I- should I uh, you know…” He nods at the gloves, miming putting them on. It means a lot for Jimmy to ask for his help with this, and he doesn’t want to screw it up.

Jimmy shakes his head. “Actually, I think your claws will be perfect for this.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, if- if you’re sure.” Hesitantly, Tango sits down on the bed behind Jimmy. “I uh, what- what do I do?”

Jimmy tilts his head. “Just kinda… comb your fingers through, to dislodge the old feathers. They should come out pretty easily. Then it’s just a matter of uh, settling all the others back into place.”

“Okay. Right.” Tango swallows. “And… and you’re sure this isn’t gonna hurt you?”

“I’m sure,” Jimmy reassures him.

“Okay.” Tango takes a breath. “Here goes.”

Carefully, he starts to comb through Jimmy’s wings. His claws glide easily through the soft feathers, and sure enough, it doesn’t take long for some of them to start coming loose.

Jimmy lets out a contented sigh. “Thank you, those have been bugging me for days.”

“No problem, hun.” Tango relaxes, falling into a rhythm. “How- how often do you have to do this?”

Jimmy makes a noncommittal noise. “Depends on how active I am with them, how much time I spend outside, the weather, molting- all sorts. But I try to do it pretty regularly, so they don’t get gross.”

Tango hums. “Well, if you ever need help in the future, it seems I’m pretty much an expert preener already.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jimmy chuckles.

~*~

Tango slowly cracks an eye open.

They’re well into the morning, if the amount of sunlight coming in through the window is any indication, and yet Jimmy is actually still in bed for once. He’s laying on his side next to Tango, propped up by one elbow with his chin in his hand, watching Tango with what Tango would normally call a stupidly lovesick expression on his face.

“Mornin’,” Tango greets him somewhat bemusedly, his morning voice still a little rough. “What’re you doin’?”

Jimmy’s smile grows even wider. “Just taking in the view,” he says simply.

Tango feels the tips of his ears burn. “Oh, well aren’t you sweet!” he hums, reaching out to cradle the back of Jimmy’s head. “C’mere, honey.”

Jimmy leans into the kiss, shifting to lay more comfortably on his side. One of his hands comes up to cup Tango’s face, holding him in an embrace that’s impossibly gentle. Tango’s heart is so full he feels like it’s going to burst, and he thinks he could happily stay like this forever.

Then a particularly loud neigh echoes from outside, and Jimmy finally pulls away with a sigh. “Tango, we oughta get up. The animals-”

“The animals can wait,” Tango murmurs, leaning in again.

He feels Jimmy smile against his lips.

~*~

Somewhere in Double Life, a player blows a horn.

Tango is quick to respond, switching out his axe for his own horn. His heart swells when he hears the familiar tune fill the air, knowing that Jimmy will hear it and know Tango’s close. It hasn’t taken long for him to think of it as their song; they’re the only ones in this world with the horns that play it. No one else responds to it, but that’s perfectly fine with Tango.

As fun as death games are, he likes this peaceful life. He likes the comparatively slow pace they’re taking with this world, the cozy houses everyone’s building instead of giant megabases. He’s got a soulmate who loves him waiting at home, whose light is always enough to chase the nightmares away.

A small part of Tango, deep down, knows that this happiness can’t last forever, that he’s living off borrowed time.

But he’ll take it for as long as he can, as long as Jimmy will have him.

~*~

#hermitcraft #double life smp #trafficshipping #traffic smp #team rancher #life series smp #HTP fic #hels to pay au #don't let the warnings scare you there's a LOTTA fluff here #also forgive me for not featuring non-hermit members as much #i have to watch a lot more vids before i become comfortable writing them

614 notes · View notes

ashes-writing · 1 year

Text

stranger things ● forever pt 4 ● s.harrington

warnings

[ multi chapter ] angst - so much internal angst, past traumas / dealing with the fallout, robin's falling in love with Barb / struggling with how and whether to risk it all and come out, you/reader have a 3 year old so.. dad!steve and baby talk because your kid is still grasping the art of talking.

reader/you is female with female parts + appearance, a 3 year old named Stevie. reader/you are also the cousin to Robin Buckley. reader/you also has a past, your own traumas and personality. this is self indulgent and i do not apologize, not even a little.

word count + prev. part

pt 3 <- can be read by click.

4549 exactly.

summary

Barb's car pulls to a stop behind Steve's car and Robin's entire face lights up. "And that's my cue. Hey.." Robin looks from you to Steve, "Why don't you guys hang out tonight?"

You know perfectly well what she's up to. From the way Steve shuffles his feet, you can safely assume he knows too. He starts to beg off, protest, do something because he doesn't want to impose. And he's just about to when you speak up. "I don't mind..Unless you don't want to, Steve?" he's shocked that you're saying it, he wasn't expecting it.

He chuckles quietly. "Yeah. I'd like that."

taglist + shoutouts

taglist is here <- click to add yourself. if you're here for gareth/eddie or other ST men..lemme know.

@allelitesmut @caravelofthesun @chaoticcancer @dylanwritesgood @eddiemuns0nl0ver @just-a-blue-nerd @jaydaaasworld @music4life42 @slyisbehindyou @spaceconveyor & @tbmunson bestie ilysm and i'm so happy to have you to bother you with my weird ideas you're amazing omg.

other links

masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules

FOUR

Stevie is coloring quietly. You're flipping through channels on the TV and unwinding after work. The faintest echo of the car door as it slams outside of the trailer has you turning to look out the window of the trailer. Steve's car is sitting in the driveway and as soon as Stevie realizes, she's making her way to the door. You slip out of your seat and pick her up, wandering out into the yard.

You tell yourself it's just so you can let Stevie see Steve but deep down, you know it's not only that. You're not prepared to admit it to yourself but there it is. The truth.

Steve is leaned against the driver side of his car and he's twisting his keys around his finger as he talks to Robin. Stevie climbs down from your arms and runs over, hugging against Robin's legs. Robin picks her up and lets her get comfortable and you lean against the side of Steve's car. Just close enough that the side of your body brushes right against his. Steve glances over at you.

"How's the job going?" he asks.

You laugh. "Today was long. So long. I think I sorted paperwork and files until I thought my eyes were gonna bleed." you open your eyes and give a tired smile. "The good news is that Stevie seems okay in their daycare so far. I think she's even made a friend."

Steve chuckles quietly. "That's good."

Stevie scrambles down from Robin's arms to tug at Steve's pants legs. Steve bends down, scooping her up and she nuzzles her face into his neck, yawning. "I tired. Played wit other girl today."

Steve chuckles. "You did, huh?"

"Mhm. Had fun." Stevie yawns again. "I missed you and aunt Wobin."

Barb's car pulls to a stop behind Steve's car and Robin's entire face lights up. "And that's my cue. Hey.." Robin looks from you to Steve, "Why don't you guys hang out tonight?"

He chuckles quietly. "Yeah. I'd like that."

You smile at him as Robin and Barb drive away and you make your way up the 3 steps into the trailer. As he goes to step inside, he rubs against you to pass through the doorway and your breath hangs.

So does his but you'd never know it. He manages to play cool, smiling at you as he stands inside your aunt's trailer with your almost sleeping daughter in his arms.

"So.. are you hungry, Steve?" you ask the question because if the air gets any thicker between you both you will lose it.

"I could eat." Steve chuckles quietly as you close the front door behind you. You step up to him to take Stevie so you can lay her down and let her nap because the lady over the daycare for your new job mentioned that she hadn't gone down for a nap today.

"I'll take her." Steve mutters quietly, and you nod. He follows you to the bedroom and places Stevie on the bed. You tap his shoulder to hand him her blanket and when he turns, it puts you body to body. "Sorry, I.." Steve mutters and you smile. "It's okay."

He takes the blanket from your hands, putting it over Stevie. You lean down, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she sleeps. Then you leave the room with Steve closing the door just enough that the tv doesn't interrupt her late nap.

"I think I'm gonna order a pizza. Is there a certain one you prefer, Steve?" you ask as you walk over and pick up the phone to dial.

"Not that picky." Steve answers, lingering in the end of the hall. You're slinking around the kitchen and twisting the phone cord around your finger as you place the order and at one point you pause in front of him and tilt your head, staring up at him.

" Everything okay?" you mouth the question, tilting your head slightly as you look up at him in concern. He manages to make himself nod and you try to stop yourself but you place your hand on his chest, continuing to gaze up at him in concern because you're remembering the day before, when he had that nightmare and you happened to witness.

" Yeah, that's ___. At 12 Forest Hills Road." you hang up after telling your address and as soon as you have, you step closer to Steve. "Steve.."

"Yeah?"

"It's okay to not be okay." you mumble.

He nods. Tries to give a convincing smile and you shake your head, stepping closer. Closing the miniscule amount of space that remains between you both as your breath hangs in your throat. "I'm sorry." you step away just a little and when you do, Steve misses the contact. And the realization has him up in arms. If he thought it was just going to disappear, it’s not. And being alone with you like this is only going to make the way he’s starting to feel and get way too attached way too quick so much harder to fight.

The two of you wind up sitting down on the sofa, close but not too close. You hold the remote out to Steve but he shakes his head. You turn off the television and he tears his eyes off the screen to look at you.

"I want to get to know you."

"I'm boring." Steve insists, shaking his head. Laughing quietly. “I am.”

"Somehow, I doubt that, Steve." you smile a little. He smiles too and he nods. "I am, though. But I wanna get to know you too."

"Ask me anything." you laugh softly. "I mean it. Anything."

"Anything,huh?" Steve rubs his chin. "Favorite food."

You laugh. "I don't even think I have one..maybe shrimp scampi, there was this diner in Shreveport, ugh..they made the most amazing shrimp scampi. Okay, your turn." you look at him and he laughs.

"Spaghetti.. my mom hired this nanny once that made the best homemade spaghetti sauce." Steve is smiling to himself. You smile. "I prefer to make my own if I eat spaghetti. I uh…ate it a lot as a kid? And my mother was the worst cook." the smile fades just a little. Just enough that Steve senses family might be a sore subject with you like it is for him.

"Mine doesn't cook." Steve admits quietly. And there's just something about the look on his face when he says it..you just know without asking that his mom and your mom might be similar.

"I dunno if my mom ever learned to cook or not." You shrug as you say it.

"You lived with your dad?" Steve asks, curious. Robin didn’t mention her aunt much at all and the handful of times that he’s heard her mention the woman, it was always with the slightest hint of irritation and disgust. So he’s just hoping that maybe you lived with your dad, that your parents were split up or something.

You shake your head. "Don't know the guy. And I haven't seen Jenna since I was 17."

Steve grimaces. And when he sees the slightest hint of a hurt look, he speaks up quietly. "You don't have t' talk about it."

"It's okay. It's not a big deal anymore." you shrug again. "She threw me out."

Steve's jaw clenches and he sighs, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It was better that way. And Stevie saved my life anyway, I was..a totally different person at 17 than I am now at 20."

It hits him exactly what you're getting at and he can't help but feel angry. Angrier than he should. He barely knows you, after all. But he's angry that from the sound of it, you went through everything all alone. And he's also in awe, it's telling him you're strong. Very, very strong. It also bothers him because no one should have to go through everything you have all alone.

"My parents weren't ever around. Made for some killer house parties but sometimes.." Steve goes quiet, "it's too quiet? And all I ever do anymore is think. And overthink." his words die away and he shrugs as if it’s nothing.

"My brain won't shut down either." you admit quietly. You've moved closer to him on the sofa because the way he's just opened up to you… you can tell that what he's admitting now is only scratching the surface. And now that you're both talking and opening up…you almost feel connected. It's harder to shut out all the little things about him that caught your attention to begin with.

That slope you're on is getting more and more slippery.

Your eyes catch on the red scar circling his neck and you try not to stare too long or anything. Your hand raises, fingers gingerly brushing against the healed wound and you rush to snatch them away as soon as you realize what you’ve done.

You remember what Robin told you, the story behind how he got it. Steve shifts the way he’s sitting a little because he wasn’t expecting the little touch and now that it’s gone, he kind of misses it, but he’d die before admitting it.

“Robin, she uh.. Told me what happened in March.” you stammer out and then you go quiet. Steve tenses a little. He shrugs and he mumbles something you can’t quite make out.

“You’re really brave, y’know? I think I would’ve died like a thousand times over.” you mumble quietly because you can’t think of anything else to say. Your words die away and you look down for a few seconds.

The pizza you ordered thirty minutes ago has finally arrived, the delivery person is knocking at the door of your aunt’s trailer. You use the arrival of food to slip off the couch. Distract yourself before you’re dumb enough to touch him again because you want to and you want it badly.

You pay for the pizza and close the door behind you, turning around puts you body to body with Steve. You’re beginning to realize exactly why you’ve been attempting to limit yourself from one on one time with him because the air is thick again, you can’t breathe. And instinctively, before you can stop it from happening, you’re stepping up into him, the pizza boxes in your arms keeping space between you both.

It’s space you don’t want, but space, nonetheless.

Steve reaches out, taking one of the pizza boxes. Your head tilts and you’re lost in his eyes. Staring and quiet. Lost in thought.

Steve can’t take the building tension so he turns and walks into Robin’s kitchen to place the hot pizza box in his arms onto a counter. You follow behind him and do the same. Steve opens one of the boxes and grabs a slice and so do you.

And as the two of you stand in the kitchen, quietly eating your slices, the tension grows just a little more. Especially when you step closer and all the space between you both vanishes because you’ve raised to your toes to wipe away some pizza sauce from the center of his bottom lip. As your thumb rolls across the surface of his bottom lip, Steve’s breath hangs in his throat and he coughs a little because he nearly chokes on the bite of pizza.

Both of you are desperate to steer the conversation back to lighter topics in a way, but it also feels so good to get some of the stuff that’s been said out in the open. Especially for you, because until now, you really didn’t have anyone to say some of these things to.

And Steve’s still thinking heavily about what you admitted to Robin.. That you could love him. The more the two of you talk like this, the more tempted he is to fight for that. To try and make you love him. The more he wants to let himself love you.

But it’s all so fast.

Enough to make your heads spin.

Brown eyes catch on pizza sauce smeared at the corner of your mouth and Steve’s hand raises before he can stop it, the pad of his thumb rolling over the saucy stain. Your breath hangs and you swallow hard, locking eyes with him.

“Favorite color?” Steve asks after a few seconds.

“Red. You?”

“Yellow.. No,no.. Dark blue.” Steve chuckles and the sound dies away after a second or two.

“Stevie told me you played basketball.. In high school?” you mutter, tilting your head as you look up at him. Steve chuckles, shrugging. “I wasn’t that great or anything.”

“I doubt that, Steve.” you’re doing it all over again, stepping closer. “I used to take dance.. There was this old woman who lived like… two shotgun houses down from Jenna. She was kinda like a grandma to me? She taught me a little ballet. It’s been years since I tried t’ do any of it.” you admit. “I was a cheerleader for a little while.”

Steve chuckles, gazing down at you. He steps just a little closer too. Somehow, he pictures it easy, a younger version of you doing ballet. Then cheering.

“I can see it.” he admits, going quiet.

“Stevie.. She acts like she wants to do ballet when she’s a little older. Guess I’ll see about it when that happens.” you take another bite of your pizza and you’re looking up at him all over again. A teasing smirk as you tell him, “I bet you had girls all over you in high school.” and you want to die as the remark leaves your mouth because you did not mean to say it out loud, it just slipped out.

Steve laughs and shrugs. “None I really liked… I mean there was one girl.” he goes quiet. Winces just a little. “And I thought maybe we’d have a shot again.” he shakes his head and shrugs. Trying to pretend it doesn’t still sting a little.

And he immediately decides to turn the remark around on you. “I bet you had a ton of boyfriends.”

You laugh and take a bite of your pizza, shrugging. “I didn’t uh.. Do the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing. Kind of a serial dater.” you go quiet. Swallowing down the bite of pizza you’ve just taken as you admit quietly. “The only guy I attempted to get serious with was Nick. He’s Stevie’s father.” you rub the bridge of your nose as you take another bite, “That was a huge mistake.”

Steve grimaces. “Sorry.”

“Oh no, no. It’s totally fine. I am perfectly capable of admitting I was an idiot.” you wipe some of the pizza sauce and grease off of your mouth and Steve’s eyes are drawn to it as you do. You laugh quietly. “Stevie’s never gonna know him. He didn’t want anything t’ do with either of us after he found out I wasn’t getting rid of her.”

Steve’s fist clenches at his side. “Seriously?”

,, At one point.. Before you grew the hell up, man.. You might’ve been the same way.” the thought comes but it’s quickly replaced with the reminder, no, no you wouldn’t have.. Because you’ve always wanted a huge family. To make up for the way you had t’ grow up.”

You nod. “Mhm. His name’s not attached to her like.. At all.I just didn’t fill in the space on her birth certificate. They pushed me to just put a name down but I refused. I’d rather not have to deal with him ever again and this way, I won’t have to.” you go quiet for a few seconds. “I’m dreading the day she starts t’ ask questions. Because I don’t want to lie to her but I know the truth would kill her. I’m hoping she won’t.”

Steve nods.

You laugh softly. “Okay, this one is lighter. It’s funny. I didn’t actually settle on a name for Stevie until a few months ago? I called her Lily or Nicole for the first two years. I.. Everything was overwhelming at the time and I was too busy worrying about how I’d even take care of her so like.. It hits me as I’m giving birth to her that I don’t have a name picked.” you laugh a little, shaking your head all over again. “So I tell the nurse I’ll fill everything out with Lily Nicole but I might change it later and I need forms to do that. So she gives me the forms and I put them up. It was always in the back of my mind that I wasn’t keen about the name, or Nicole for her middle name. So, I’d always just call her bug or peanut, a little nickname.”

“Lily’s pretty.”

“Right? But it didn’t suit her, not at all. I don’t think she liked it either.” you laugh and continue, shuffling your bare feet against the floor where you’re both standing. “Then, a few months ago, I’m driving Stevie to my friend’s place so I can go in to work. And I hear The Chain on the radio. Stevie loves this song, mind you. So I called in sick, went back to my apartment and tore it apart to find her paperwork. I filled it all out and stuck it in the mail so I could change her name to Stevie Robin.”

Steve chuckles quietly. “That’s actually kind of awesome.”

You smile. “Thank you.”

As the thickness begins to build in the silence all over again, you speak up quietly. Stepping close to Steve before you can stop yourself. “Whoever this girl was, Steve..She’s the one who’s going to miss out.”

Steve shrugs. “Doubt it.” - and he’s being honest because Nancy went from admitting that she didn’t feel like she was sure about being with Jonathan to leaving town with him soon. And it bothers him. Maybe not as much as it did at first, but it does still sting.

“From where I stand, yeah.. She really will. I mean.. You seem like a really nice guy. And my daughter loves you to pieces.”- you feel like you have to say something because he looks like it hurts him and this bothers you a lot more than it really should.

,, and I’m starting to get attached myself. Which is scary, dangerous for me to even be contemplating.” that thought comes racing to the front of your mind but you don’t dare say it. You can’t.

“And Nick sounds like an asshole. You’re better off without the guy.” Steve blurts it out and as soon as the words leave his mouth, the thought pops into his mind ,, if I were him, I never would’ve made her go through all this alone.” and he tries to shove it down and bury it but he just can't.

“You’re not wrong there. Not even a little.” you agree. And you lean forward to take another slice of pizza from the box as Steve does the same, your sides brushing. You give him an apologetic smile and he laughs, shrugging. Laughing harder as the cheese from your slice tries to slide away from crust and you dangle it over your mouth to try and pull the cheese off.

You flip him off playfully.

He does it right back. And then his eyes fix on the tomato sauce on the corner of your mouth and he really focuses on it, leaning into you to drag his thumb over the corner of your mouth to wipe it away. You barely bite back a whimper but you do exhale and it’s shaky.

“Pizza sauce again.” he states quietly, giving a little bit of a smirk, “You’re kind of a messy eater, you know that, right?”

“Bite me, Harrington. Like you’re not.” you tease him right back as you lean into him, wiping away a sauce smear on his lip.

As the conversation dies away, Steve reaches for the remote and turns on the tv and you settle in closer to him, both of you getting caught up in an episode of Magnum PI.

Stevie wanders in at some point, slipping up onto the sofa and balancing herself on both your laps as she nibbles on a slice of cheese pizza that you take out for her. And when you look over again about an hour later, she’s completely on his lap and they’re both asleep, Steve with his head thrown back against the back cushion of the sofa and Stevie with her head against his chest.

And everything feels good. Like it’s as easy as breathing. But as soon as that thought comes, you shove it out again because you can’t give in. You’re too afraid.

Steve wakes up because he can feel someone moving around in his lap. At first, he’s confused and then he remembers where he is. And then he catches sight of the way you’re even closer to him now, your head on his shoulder right next to Stevie’s. Stevie’s starting to wake up but she’s fighting it a little. Whiny. She latches onto his body and grumbles about how tired she is and Steve chuckles quietly. “You want me to take you to your mom’s room?”

“Pwease. But don’t wake up mama. She finally sleep.”

“Finally?” Steve questions, concerned brown eyes settle on your sleeping form as he wonders what Stevie means.

Stevie nods. “She can’t sleep sometimes at night.”

“Me either, kid.” Steve admits, carefully slipping his jacket under your head for a pillow as he slips off the couch to carry Stevie to her room. As he tucks her in and makes sure there’s a pillow on either side so she hopefully doesn’t roll off the high bed, she raises her arms, making grabby hands at him so he leans down and she hugs him again. “Night, Steve. Can y’ come back more? Pwease?”

He laughs quietly. “Yeah.”

As he makes his way out of the bedroom, you’ve slipped off the couch and you’re stretching. The way you raise your arms reveals just the slightest hint of ink peeking up from the way your shirt comes up with the movement and your jeans dip down enough. He tears his eyes off the hint of hidden ink and meets your sleepy gaze.

“I had fun tonight, Steve.”

“So did I..” Steve’s stepped even closer before he can stop himself. You bite your lip as you stare up at him, a hand raised to give the front of his hair a little fluff. “I’ll see you again.” he promises and you smile, nodding. “I’ll hold you to that.” you answer as you walk him out to his car.

As he drives away, you stand in the doorway, watching until the red of his cars taillights fade from view completely.

Then you wander back into the house and lock the doors, turn off the tv and go to your room, flopping down into bed. Stevie rolls over to put her little hand on your cheek.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, cupcake?"

"I wish Steve was my daddy. I like him a lot."

You take a deep breath and pull her closer. "Me too, cupcake. Me too. But it's not that simple."

"Wish it was." Stevie yawns out as she begins her usual self soothing fall asleep method of playing with your hair. Just as your eyes are getting heavy again she speaks up. "I think he likes you."

"Sweetie, shh.. time for sleep." you coax. She snuggles a stuffed bat she came home from Family Video with earlier in the week against her little body and soon, she's snoring quietly.

But for you, your minds too full. And when you finally do drift off at last, it seems like minutes later, it's morning and Robin is flopping down beside you after floating through the door of her bedroom.

"Hey.. remember when I said there was something I needed to tell you?"

"Yeah..wait, does this have anything at all to do with how happy you are around Barb?"

Robin's giggling fit answers your question and then she's quiet. "You and Steve are the only people I've told. And like..the more time I spend with her, the more comfortable I get and then I remember I have this huge secret. What if I tell her and it's a huge disaster? I can't just confess my feelings but I wanna and it's driving me crazy."

"I have a feeling it'll be anything but a disaster, Robbie. Body language expert, remember?" you give a sleepy grin as you reach out and stroke your cousins hair. "I thought she was about to kiss you the day I left Stevie with you guys at the video store."

Robin is thinking hard. To distract herself, she turns the topic of conversation to you. "How'd it go with Steve?"

You sigh. And she can see the dreamy look on your face. Then your frowning. "Kind of like torture when you get attached to someone you know you can't have.."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Robbie.." you sigh and yawn. "I'm not going to put her through what Jenna put me through. Besides.. pretty sure Steve is not looking for a situation like mine, Robbie. He's 21. Doubt he wants to get all settled and shit. And I'm not going to turn party girl either. I did my time as the Buckley family wild child. Kind of burnt out on it."

Robin laughs and you raise a brow. "What? It's true and you know it. I don't wanna hold him back."

"Do you know what he actually does for fun?"

"Well, no.." you answer. "What's he do?"

"He hates parties. His typical night is to go home and eat nuclear food. He probably goes out two times a month now? And it's just to see our other friend Eddie and his band play."

"Oh."

"He's burnt out on it too. A girl who works the salon next door has been trying to slip him her number since like…January and he just walks away every time."

You nod. " You have to stop making it too easy to fall for him, Robbie. I'm a mess. He deserves way better."

"You're scared, in other words." Robin is teasing, but it bothers her that you even think the way you do about yourself.

"Terrified. I didn't even feel the way I do around him when I was so 'in love'" you air quote the phrase and roll your eyes as you say it, "with Nick."

"Thats.. a huge deal."

"It is. But I've gotta fight it."

"You don't, though." Robin insists.

You laugh softly.

"Where did Stevie get the bat?"

"Steve won it for her while we were waiting for our lunch order earlier this week."

And her telling you that…it only makes it just a little harder to resist him.

#steve harrington #steve the hair harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x fem!buckley cousin reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #<- my writing ● steve harrington #<- warnings | fluff overload - reader has a 3 year old ● see chapter warnings above #<- warning | female reader - buckley related - female parts/appearance ● kid personality petnames/nicknames #fandom ( stranger things ) ● season ( post 4 with huge 1-4 changes ) ● character ( steve harrington )#-- listen.. listennnn.. i have a lot of ideas for this and idk if it's gonna stay a slow burn ima be real. for now it is tho.

33 notes · View notes