#theyre ignoring it cause it doesnt affect them is what theyre doing

[gentil-minou]

genuinely curious, why was there a community effort within the ml fandom to raise funds for Ukraine last year but not for Gaza this time round?

is it due to politics in the US or whatever donations we can give to Gaza will be bombed anyway?

First off, I don't like the tone you used because it sounds not only defeatist but also just plain rude. I'm gonna treat this ask like it was in good faith and answer honestly but next time maybe don't sound so passive aggressive

Idk why there isnt. I'm not in the ML fandom really anymore so i cant tell you. Last time my friends and I got involved and we did it together along with some others. Idk why no has done it but I can't say I'm surprised given the way some of the ml fans and blogs have come after me for my support for Palestine and the things I've said about Israel and Biden. Frankly, I'd rather distance myself from them completely. If someone does show their support and organize I will be glad for it but given how little I've seen even acknowledging whats happening in Gaza from this fandom, I'm not surprised they won't. Disappointed but not surprised.

If you're trying to say something about rude about me specifically, I did donate and shared a bunch for a fundraiser in my current fandom, but that was all before we learned that Israel won't let any aid into Gaza. It's not about "it's all going to get bombed anyway" which again is so fucking rude and cruel to say when there are multiple efforts to help Gazans directly. But Israel's siege means the millions of dollars in aid raised are useless because it's all sitting in trucks at the border as Israel slaughters everyone.

That's why Gazans are asking us to protest and continue talking about this and demanding ceasefire. Instead of waiting for someone with your blorbo to donate, follow Palestinians and advocacy groups that are trying to help so you know what they need.

This isn't something that's gonna happen easily because unlike Ukraine, which had the backing of the US and every other power, we are actively fighting against our governments. Gazans don't need your money. They need you to fight for them

#again im taking this in good faith but stop sending me asks about what the ml fandom is doing #theyre ignoring it cause it doesnt affect them is what theyre doing #theyre ignoring it cause theyre prioritizing themselves #other than a handful of people actually trying to spread awareness i havent seen anything besides a 'politically correct' post reblogged #or the worst was a BN being silent until they came into my inbox on anon to accuse me for my stance and then finally broke their silence #on the matter only to continue enabling genocidal rhetoric #so yeah consider me done with this fandom #asked and answered

[mylarena]

god im fuckin. thinkin abt soap distancing himself from ghost when roach comes back. cause hes been vying for the lieutenants affection for a while, but then roach is there and ghost is so obviously besotted with him and they have a history and they obviously in love so what place does he have to get in the way of that?

then roach, whos heard so much from ghost about the sergeant and how good he is, goes and starts talking to soap and befriends him, and soap is drawn back closer to ghost and he soon realizes that fuck. hes in love with roach too.

but ghost and roach are happy together. theyre happy and in love and, again, who is he to get in the way of that? he hasnt known either of them as long as theyve known each other, he hasnt been through as much as them, and hes not worthy of them. not the way theyre worthy of each other.

so he pushes himself away again. everytime theyre together it hurts. every smile roach gives him when hes ranting. every chuckle ghost gives when he tells a stupid joke. every pat on the arm he gets after a good mission, every bit of praise he gets after doing good on the field, everything- it all hurts.

so he pushes away. he makes excuses to skip out on invitations to hang out, he stops ranting so much, he goes to meals earlier than usual to avoid the pair (even when ghost gets up at an ungodly hour in the morning) and eats as fast as his stomach can handle, he spars with gaz or konig or anyone other than ghost or roach.

he doesnt really expect them to notice that hes distant- at the very least expect them to care. but as time goes on it gets harder and harder to stay away, to the point where he starts to spend his breaks in his room instead of somewhere open. he starts sneaking snacks into his room for when he doesnt eat enough at meals because roach had dropped down right next to him with his own food and tried to start a conversation. he swears he fills out his sketchbooks three times faster than before with all the free time he has.

he ignores the ache he feels from being apart from them- its better that its him feeling that instead of making things awkward with ghost and roach.

eventually he ends up cornered- very nearly literally- with ghost guarding the doorway and roach with one hand on the wall next to his head and one pushing his chest, pinning him against the wall. it flusters him more than he'd like to admit.

roach asks whats going on with him, and he starts to spew out some fib about being swamped with work, but then ghost is way closer than before and he places a hand on the other side of soaps head and leans in and fucking growls "thats bullshit, sergeant." and soap lets out an honest to fucking god whine. on the fucking spot. hes surprised his legs didnt give out and drop him to his damn knees right then and there. hes too caught up in his embarrassment that he doesnt hear the way roachs breath hitches, or the way ghosts gaze gets a little darker.

ghost reaches out and grabs his chin, making him look him directly in the eyes.

"tell the truth, johnny."

and soap cant fucking hold the words back anymore.

"im in love with you! both of you!"

but he doesnt stop at a simple confession- he figures that maybe if he rambles long enough theyll get annoyed enough that theyll fucking forget what he just said, that theyll miss the point of the conversation, that he wont have fucked everything up.

"soap- johnny- johnny."

he stops, catching his breath the best he can.

"you've been avoiding us.... because youre in love with us?"

soap swears that hes on the verge of tears as he nods. he expects something- disgust, anger, annoyance- but he doesnt expect roach to lean in and press him lips against his own. his mind goes blank.

he cant help but lean to chase roach a bit when he pulls away, and he has only a moment of fuzziness before his eyes widen snap to ghost, distress filling him once again, and he tries to stutter out an apology but is cut off by ghost lifting his mask and kissing johnny himself.

when they part, its all johnny can do to look at both of them and breathe out an "oh."

#myposting #mydrabbles #soaptag #roachsoapghost #roachghostsoap #ghostroachsoap #ghostsoaproach #soapghostroach #soaproachghost #simon ghost riley #gary roach sanderson #john soap mactavish #whoops!!!!! im not sorry #godddd i just. #shout out to fuckin tavtarnish for ruining my fuckgin brain !!!!

[01zfan]

i just read the whole statement about the boycott and lemme just say my two cents (agreeing with you btw)

suju fans had to buy stocks to make sm listen to them. lemme say it again. SUJU FANS HAVE TO BUY STOCKS to make sm listen to them. yes this was decades ago but it still applies do yall really think sm will listen if it doesnt benefit THEM.

like lets not be dumb buying trucks trending shit and even this boycott wont do shit cause it doesnt affect sm

yall also need to remember that KOREA literally the KOREAN public likes riize theyre not fans they just listen to them do yall really think they, who really only care about the music.

if yall really gaf about seunghan why yk do the things that could make him money like idk stream the songs hes in? making his post the most popular one?? streaming his fancams??? but all yall do are things that could be easily ignored like the boycott will not even be an issue center 5 has like fee active artists as much as i remember but no here yall are discrediting everyone else in riize cause of sm mismanaging one member like

yall claim yall are ot7 but hate on sungchan substituting seunghan's lines, think that wonbin cannot be a good lead vocalist in riize even though wonbin is better in being a vocalist, thinking riize as a whole has a weak vocal and dance line and being the weakest in sm without him like all of them cant sing or dance i feel like half of yall just even care about seunghan cause yall have a savior complex and want him back which yeah he should but talking bad about the other members just to make him superior isnt it like lets be serious???

(also feel like the only reason yall came to the conclusion of boycotting is cause its the buzz word today to boycott something)

SAY THATTTTT YOU SPILLED…i believe alot of ot7s are secretly seunghan solo stans/akgaes because they only will uplift other members of riize when it relates to seunghan positively…like i see so many ot7s trash sungchan and call eunseok fake unless they drop little hints about ot7 and sudden theyre the best members in riize😭. also i see sohee only get mentioned alot on twitter when ot7s project onto him or wonbin when they try to group them together like wonbin isnt more than enough on his own?

also when siren dropped the amount of discord and shadiness towards the members of riize was like actually astounding lmfao. i think it just shows that this boycott/movement isn’t impacting anyone except the boys. like i just imagine them looking in their comment section on tiktok or intl briize reaction to siren and being disheartened seeing what their “fans” are saying about them.

i just hope that this boycott is resolved soon so riize can have the best comeback ever but with their popularity in korea im sure it’ll be a successful comeback regardless heh.

#askz #anonz

[snufkinmaxxing]

i will never be able to understand why people cant be normal about gender.

NO, u dont have a magic boy soul or brain that's for some reason inside a female body. YES, u are entitled to your belief that you DO have that boy soul or brain the same way mormons and muslims are entitled to their own beliefs. NO, other people shouldnt be forced to share that belief. NO, your belief shouldnt affect other people. NO, even if your magic boy soul/brain is real it literally does not hold more significance than your chinese zodiac sign. NO, it doesn't hold more significance than biological sex. NO, sports shouldn't be sorted by "gendered souls/brains" any more than they should be sorted by your chinese zodiacs. YES, gender dysphoria and autogyno/androphilia exists. NO, theres nothing inherently wrong with that*. YES, most of the time its caused by some kind of neurological or psychological imbalance. NO THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. YES, you should be allowed to take any hormones and medications and go through any cosmetic surgeries you want even if u dont experience GD as long as youre an adult. YES, youre responsible for your own actions as an adult and its not societies fault u "fucked your body up". YES, even if its a porn brained fetish you should still be allowed to inject horse piss. YES, some people do get groomed into transitioning (especially little boys) but it is rare. NO, just because you dont believe in gendered souls and brains doesnt make you not trans. NO, just because someone experiences gender dysphoria doesnt mean theyre trans. YES, woman is adult human female and man is an adult human male. NO, "female" does not mean "baby making machine" anymore than "male" does. NO, there is nothing wrong with being male or female. YES, adults with internalised misogyny/misandry r responsible for their own choices even if they regret transitioning. NO, children should not be given hormones or god forbid puberty blockers. and for fucks sake JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESNT THINK GENDERED SOULS R REAL IT DOESNT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN THEY WANNA GENOCIDE U

i probably missed a lot of things but im half asleep now lol.

i know a lot of people who call themselves gender abolitionists disagree with a lot of what i say here (most radfems would disagree that theres nothing inherently wrong with agp/aap and what i said about detransitioners** and most trans people***(on this app not irl im assuming) would disagree that bio sex should have more significance than "gender") and i respect their opinion and understand where theyre coming from. if u see this feel free to add your opinion as long as ur respectful. but if ur gonna be stubborn and retarded im just gonna delete your reply. that is if anyone even sees this post lol

*it would be an interesting conversation to talk about how agp is 80% of the time a humiliation fetish of a man being "lowered to the level of a woman". this is extremely misogynistic and literally views women as subhuman to men. cant complain about the female version of this because of how based it is. OBVIOUSLY theres agps who just get off of being female without the degrading aspect of it but u cant just ignore it if were having this conversation. anyways i still think those people should be allowed to medically transition if they want to.

**i respect detransitioners, i dont have anything personally against them

*** it's important to say that trans people are just a bunch of people who made a choice to transition or are trying to. they dont represent a single ideology.

mandatory soushin under cut

artist: dolphingdive on twitter apparently but im not sure

#two hornet nests at the same time baby #gender abolition #GOD I HATE THOSE TERMS #but what can u do #what else should i tag it #banger #100k notes #gender isnt real #and im not gonna pretend it is #and yes i am transmasc #anyways #soushinsss #fav #gender critical #radblr #idk i disagree with radfems but yeah

[just-bendy]

Can you give us some headcannons?

(( oh my own headcanons for bendy? uhhhh sure! lets see...

he is 3ft tall, his ink demon form is 7'7", and his ink beast form is 8ft on all fours

very talkative. he talks a lot in general but even more so when hes excited, flustered, and happy

he speaks with a transatlantic accent and basically sounds like the gospel of dismay bendy because im very unoriginal

talks with his hands and gestures a lot. he also expresses with his tail

animalistic traits include purring like a cat, and growling n snarling like an animal. when hes feeling happy, excited, etc. he wags his tail like a doggy

his tail is pretty sensitive near the base since it got pulled a lot in the studio. it hurts him when it gets pulled so he hates it. used to have a wound on his tail in the studio from when he tried to cut it off but it healed when he got fused with 66

hates when strangers touch his tail. he is more tolerable when friends and family touch his tail. loves when his romantic partner touches his tail, especially the base and tip

also like a cat, he loves attention and will come up to you to just hang out, maybe even try to get your attention so you can give him some love; expect him to rub his head on you too. of course, he will also cause mischief if hes bored, just like a cat. his ink spikes up when hes surprised like a cat as well

(( sorry it gets kinda long so im gonna put the rest under here ))

he just likes to be with his loved ones or romantic partner, even if theyre not doing anything, he likes to sit by them or even on them, lean on them, lay by them, curious about what theyre up to

loves to be held and carried. sitting on your shoulders is also fun for him. he isnt too heavy either

loves being touched, it makes him feel nice. just a pat on the head, a rub on the back, or a gentle stroke of his tail (if youre his romantic partner) will bring up his mood

very clingy, loves to be shown affection. gets jealous if his romantic partner is giving attention to someone other than him

loves to also cuddle, nuzzle, and canoodle

he loves attention and being in the center of it. he gets frustrated if hes ignored

made of ink but can be solid, like hed just have regular skin until he starts melting. hed be a little shiny as you could see in my older posts. he is also very smooth because he is hairless

very squishy, he is so squishy, everything is squishy but his teeth and shoes. i am unsure of the hardness of his hooves but ive always thought of it as two big toes in terms of flexibility. i cant decide if they should be two big squishy toes or two big hard toes

doesnt really have insides since he is 100% made of ink. this also means he has no bones. his bowtie, gloves, and shoes are also made of ink

he is very flexible

he can melt into a puddle to squeeze through small gaps. if hes wearing anything that isnt his normal bowtie and shoes, he'll have to bring it with him or leave it behind

if you are in a room with the door closed without him, he will make his way in by squeezing through the gap under the door. if there is no way in he will beg you to let him in if theres no one else around to bother

he has full control of his ink and can use it to stretch himself out to reach something or transform into anything

has nightmares of the studio a few times every year and every time he wakes up, hed need comforting. if theres no one around to comfort him, he will curl into a ball and hug himself

protective of his friends and especially his family and partner. he will not hesitate to hurt people that dare hurt someone he cares a lot about

dealing with someone thats abusive and hurts others will make him see red

doesnt like anyone touching his bowtie including his friends and family except for someone hes deeply in love with. fiddles with his bowtie a lot

has a long and stretchy forked tongue

bad at playing videogames :(

kind of messy

is ok with spicy food but not unaffected by the heat

doesnt smell like anything

loves watching horror movies even if he gets scared. he also loves comedies with dumb humor

he loves jokes, puns, dad jokes, and bad jokes

likes to get drunk and party

he can juggle and is very good at it

loves to dance, sing, show off, and dress up

likes to be praised as in complimented and admired

collects merch of himself. toys, posters, shirts, whatever there is, he will collect it

loves to kiss and be kissed. cheek kisses, mouth kisses, head kisses, body kisses, french kisses, he loves kissing

if hes in a relationship with someone he really likes, hed go out of his way to do romantic things for them like buying flowers and taking them on dates to fancy places. he will also call them all sorts of cute names like "sweetheart", "sweetie", "honey", "toots", "doll", etc. he will also show them all sorts of affection like hand-holding, lots of kisses n cuddles, and other stuff i cant mention here

a good chunk of my headcanons are very unmentionable actually

ahahah

uhh,,, this is kind of excessive huh,,,, sorry about that,,,

is,, is this what you even asked for,,,? ))

#ask #mun #nanon #real-ink-demon #(( sorry if this isnt what you asked for )) #(( you can probably tell that my first thoughts of bendy were... domestic? like what would he be like if i had him )) #(( i dont think about the other characters as much as bendy (or at all...) so im not gonna list any hcs for them... sorry )) #(( the gospel of dismay and instrument of cyanide are my two favorite bendy songs #i can listen to them on loop for hours and i have #also its not a full bendy song but the freaky machine song #the freaky machine song alone made me hyperfixate on bendy and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.... #ESPECIALLY THE INSTRUMENT OF CYANIDE PART!!! #maybe the way he hits those high notes... #and seeing those animated bendys in the back also helped since i never really saw them before #that song introduced me to instrument of cyanide so not only did i get a new hyperfixation i also #got an awesome new song to listen to :> )) #(( sorry ink bendy week but toon bendy is what drew me in ahahhahah ))

[beneathashadytree]

Ahh i saw ur mirko fic and i just had to request! If this request doesnt work then you can ignore this!

okay so college AU !

Mirko has a best friend shes sleeping over with and shes in love with her best friend, and when theyre asleep she just has her chance and starts smoother them in affection and small smooches until they wake up leading them to a makeout session? (Kinda suggestive theme i hope thats in the category, if not please do ignore this!) i hope this request does you best!

A little add on! No need to put it in but its optional as long as your comfortable!

Can you make the gn!reader have some sort of style related to grunge masc? But the reader goes by they/them! And is like the tomboy in the friendship, but if this doesnt make you comfortable write it however you want! (2/2)

“FRIENDS”? - MIRKO/RUMI USAGIYAMA X READER

Warnings : college AU, this could count as dub-con seeing as the reader is asleep at first, making out, this is not proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : suggestive fluff

Word count : 0.8K words

Additional notes : Thank you so much for your request! I’m a sucker for the best friends to lovers trope🥰 However, I live in a place where clothes aesthetics aren’t a thing, so I have no idea what grunge masc style is, I’m really sorry🫠 But don’t worry, I’m most comfortable writing for gender-neutral readers using they/them pronouns, as they’re my preferred identities and pronouns irl too! Idk if the tomboy part is obvious, but I tried to make it come naturally. Hope you enjoy this!!💗💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

“And… now we’re done with the skincare routine.” Rumi left the bathroom in her PJs with an excited gait, only to find that her best friend was nestled underneath the covers, snuggled into the pillow and clearly fast asleep. “Did I really take that long?” she whispered, before shrugging and softly padding across the room.

After switching off the lights and carefully crawling in beside them, Rumi couldn’t help but stare up at them in awe. They looked so incredibly peaceful, none of the stress caused by college apparent on their face, all the stress lines gone. It was almost angelic; the way their lips were slightly pouted as they breathed slowly and steadily. Whether that was because they’d been struggling with the massive amount of assignments at this time of year, or because she was just so utterly smitten by them… eitherways, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from them.

‘Lovesick’ was the only way to describe how she looked at her best friend all the time, but they were rather daft when it came to things like this. It was a blessing in the way that they never thought twice about the affection Rumi always gave them, but it was also a curse that her feelings would always go unseen and consequently unreciprocated.

Still, she rather liked the idea of cuddling up to them as she often did. With a happy sigh of comfort, she tucked her head underneath their chin, and if she could purr as she nestled into their chest, she would’ve. Strong arms encircled them, as she tugged them as close as possible. It was rather nice, getting to entwine their legs together and lie like that.

“So fucking cute,” she mumbled under her breath as they unconsciously squeezed her back. Cheeks burning red with adoration, Rumi gently pressed her lips against their arm in a small kiss. She waited for a couple of seconds, just to make sure that she hadn’t woken them up. Seeing them still sleeping soundly, she got a little braver, and began to pepper chaste, innocent kisses all over any place her lips could reach—their arm, their shoulder, their collarbones, and even their chin.

As she courageously left a soft, open-mouthed kiss against their neck, the hand that had been clutching her waist tightened, as a deep sound escaped their throat. Rumi froze, red eyes blown wide as they shifted in her arms.

“Quite the daring bunny, aren’t you? I don’t remember this being a thing friends do.” Their voice was a little gruff and scratchy with sleep, but it still sent Rumi’s heart fluttering in her chest and a warmth blooming in her tummy.

Her momentary shock was quickly replaced by the urge to tease them even more. Damn it; she was so hopelessly in love with them.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it. You latched onto me the moment I got under the covers.”

With a lazy grin that had her blushing furiously, their fingers tipped her chin upwards, the challenging look in their eyes kindling the raging fire inside of her.

“Wouldn’t dream of lying. But I’ve got to one-up you this time.”

And before Rumi could process what was happening, their soft lips were on hers, stealing her breath away. She stilled for a moment, before she melted into the kiss and allowed herself to be swept away. Firm but gentle hands swept over her back, caressing her as the warmth of their tongue invaded her mouth. A shameless moan escaped her, their taste overwhelming her as she arched her back in delight. Tongues enwtined as they passionately kissed, Rumi hadn’t even noticed the way she’d begun squeezing her thighs closed in pleasure.

It was a little messy, with eager hands roaming, teeth nipping deviously at her lips, and sounds of sweet satisfaction escaping them. Rumi felt them all over her and in her, and she couldn’t help but fall in love with this all-consuming feeling, the same way she’d fallen in love with them. Her hands had clutched the front of their shirt, to get some semblance of control over herself, but all rational thought had gotten thrown out the window the moment they moaned into her mouth.

Only when they had to come up for air did they separate—much to both their dismay—and pant heavily in each other’s arms, pupils blown wide and hair askew.

Twisting to lie on their back, they tugged Rumi to sit upright on their lap. A quick glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table reminded her of how late it actually was.

“If we stay up any longer, we won’t be able to wake up for our morning run,” she breathlessly noted, her knees on both sides of their body. A now-familiar mixture of adoration and desire churned in her belly as they smirked up at her, hands firmly gripping her hips in place as she let out an involuntary whine of delight.

“Might as well get some exercise in to make up for that, then.”

Taglist: @thispersoniscrazy @wifeofkyojuro

#imagine #oneshot #fluff #anime #college au #best friends to lovers #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mirko #rumi usagiyama #mirko x reader #mirko fluff #mirko oneshot #rumi usagiyama x reader #rumi usagiyama fluff #rumi usagiyama oneshot #bnha mirko #mha mirko #my hero academia mirko #boku no hero academia mirko #pro heroes

[pixelkip]

Ok serious post time. I don't like making posts like this but it's kind of a few months coming.

Hey guys so. I might start posting most of my hazy stuff exclusively to tumblr as much as I hate to say it. This isn't for sure that I'm never interacting there again but. Probably not touching it mostly

Just 1 or 2 people in the discord community I feel like. Mega fucking uncomfortable around for stuff that, while it's been mostly resolved I guess, still was super upsetting at the time and has caused me a lot of anxiety seeing them around again to the point of it being a serious detriment to my mental health.

Especially cause hazy river is still kind of a big hyperfixation to me and has honestly affected me so much. I'm deeply attached to it and that's not changing. That discord community too has been a huge part of my life for over a year now and I wish I didn't feel like I had to stop interacting with it for the sake of my own health, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I do.

The thing is I don't WANT to care that someone who makes me uncomfortable is back in a space I'm in. I'd rather just accept it and ignore it and continue interacting there as normal. That's what I've been telling myself is the mature thing to do and its what ive been trying to do for a while. But my anxiety doesn't seem to agree on that front. Not just in a "ew I don't like them" way but in a causing me actual panic attacks way.

I'm very open to anyone asking what this is about and why i feel like this, I'd be glad to tell you IN TUMBLR/DISCORD DMS NOT PUBLICLY, but I wanna say a few things first

-youre free to do with this information what you wish, but I take no responsibility for anything YOU do with what I tell you.

- preferably don't start drama PLEASE. If you know who im talking about or if you even think you know, don't. Start. shit. Even if you ask me and I tell you. Don't. Start. Shit.

- UNLESS you have a good reason like theyre actively doing something shitty, don't put anyone this is about/might be about on blast publicly. I would prefer people truly learn from their mistakes. And if that somehow does happen, idfk take it up with that community's mods

- I'm not shaming anyone who is friends with or interacts with anyone I'm referring to. As long as you don't cross my boundaries, and you dont encourage/defend what they did if I tell you, and you dont try to let them contact me, or generally try to get them involved with me I don't care.

- don't contact anyone else that might be involved about it either. I might be ok telling people how I feel about this but others might not. I don't wanna be the reason anyone gets pestered over something shitty that happened to them.

- if you are reading this on my tumblr dot com, I assure you it's almost definitely not you I'm talking about whose the reason I'm making this decision.

Ok finally here's the part where I'm gonna be pretty blunt:

If you do contact me cause you wanna know why I feel this way, I apologize in advance if it makes you uncomfortable around someone you may have interacted with. Cause if you ask, I'm telling you. No sugar coating, no "but it's ok" for any reason. Me still not fully having healed over what happened doesnt mean i wish anyone involved any ill will. But I'm not gonna pretend I wanna be amicable or friendly with or even forgive who did this either. Wanting to move on =/= forgiving. If you insist on defending what they did while I'm actively telling you why it hurt me, that's just rude. And I will probably block you.

Block button is at the ready and I claim 0 responsibility for hurt feelings or possibly viewing ur mutual differently as a result.

TLDR: I'm probably fucking off from most of hazy discord bc I'm deeply uncomfy around someone who came back there some time ago, feel free to dm me and ask about it cause telling people why honestly makes me feel less alone about it, but please please don't start drama and don't think I'm responsible for anything that happens as a result of me telling you what someone did that caused me a lot of pain.

Sorry for the long serious post, I'm hoping to be able to do more fun stuff in the future.

In the wise words of the queen ass 2 over herself, thank you (for listening) and I love you.

#sorry for how long this got #i just prefer to cover all my bases #im not leaving the fandom as a ehole neccesarily #if you wanna talk about just fandom stuff or anything just. maybe dm me instead. #it was really really nagging at me to make a post like this for a long time #as much as i didnt wanna make some long serious post about something fandom-wise that was distressing me #but i felt like if i didnt it would bother me a ton

[psykoz]

btw hot take but i think that the endogenic issue in general is also the fault of fake claimers who like to ignore how other disorders and illnesses interact w and affect systemhood. like a psychotic and autistic polyfragmented DID system will be substantially different than an OSDD system w anxiety ptsd and depression but that doesnt invalidate either system or their experience. like yes we also know a good portion of endos, especially in the early days, literally were just using it as a gotcha for being "better" or more valid or whatever else for not having icky trauma (!!!) but its also true that a lot of newly discovered or just young systems who do really. REALLY have trauma and a disorder that would bring about a system are being convinced they arent really a traumatized system, no theyre really endo. you know what most often causes these systems to fall into endo circles?? fucking fake claimers doing what they do and making people whos disorder already works to make you doubt having it question and doubt themselves and become more anti recovery (!!!!!) bc YOU think somehow that these many disorders (bc its not just DID and OSDD actually has many types so its not even one disorder ur fake claiming weirdos) are 100% cookiecutter so therefore everyone who experiences smth thats undocumented in a highly understudied handful of disorders that has almost no research into comorbidities or intersections w other disorders at all, is clearly faking it! every ex endo weve ever known has agreed that it was fakeclaimers who pushed them towards those ideals in the first place before they realized or were educated or w/e to get them out of those circles and away from the anti recovery mindset. and i dont think EVERY endo or even ex endogenic is like this obviously but my point is less systems would needlessly fall into anti recovery spaces in general if people used their damn brains to think for half a second that maybe you dont know everything. or to mind ur own business!

#i have hotter takes abt how different disorders interact w them as well but im openly a psycho so lol #dont want to be dismissed yet #syscourse tw #im NOY a syscourse blog this is just a personal blog im not accepting silly asks at this time #im just tagging this so i dont force beloved mutuals to wotness shit they arent in the mood for #ive never identified as endogenic bt we held some anti recovery ideals bc endogenic morality gave us some brain rot #and our ex was slowly pushing more and more towards endogenic and we recently learned they do id w endogenic #and they put weird morality shit in our brain abt merging and dormancy and shit

[red-dyed-sarumane]

okay so i need u to remember that text from marshall maximizer thats something like if u cant prove ur acting if ur own volition and doing things for urself then u cant prove ur a person. okay. important detail there.

unplanned apoptosis, fittingly named but ill get to that in a second, this girls been pushed one step too far & shes handling it so awfully.

we know something in particular happened thats shes acting like this & im willing to bet it's about the angel from oumen mokushiroku & the sacrifice thats mentioned several times but thats another theory. its not just the whole repeating end of the world its something else in particular that really sets her off. though i think she wasnt the best person before this song anyway. this one thing really affects her & she just doesnt want to do this anymore. but she also knows about the "person" vs "thing" concept & she knows if she just dies normally she'll have to keep going anyway. and she knows she has to pass that point of being "herself" & no longer be a "person" if she doesnt want to continue anymore. hence the title that seems contradictory. its not. she didnt plan for this to happen but now that it did she's going to destroy herself in anyway she can so she doesnt have to live with it anymore.

i think thats why this song uses jibun rather than jiga like laboratory does. both being a sense of self. but the laboratory character doesnt want to die. apoptosis does. but she can only do that if she kills herself in every sense. acting out, excessive lying, causing problems, anything that goes against who she is as a person, destroying who she is entirely so she doesnt have to suffer anymore.

but it'll never work. everyone else who lost their "self" has the context of mostly working so hard towards their goal they forgot who they were in the process. maybe forgot isnt the right word but its that type of concept. laboratory, ignoring certain data or whatever, trying to reach that end shes so hoping for or the exchange in maximizer about the person doing their job, but being able to do that job even if it helps doesnt mean anything about the humanity of said person. theyre just working towards whatever goal whatever means possible & thats what costs them everything. but THIS GIRL is actively going against all of it. shes making the decision to step out of line, to mostly if not entirely give up on her job & trying to save anyone, all to give herself some relief. and the thing about that is thats her own will. by doing that she's keeping the last threads shes trying to get rid of. going like this she might never get the end she wants.

and THAT. the having to live with whatever loss set her off in the first place, being forced to continue because she's still a person, even after she's destroying herself and character to break free, THATS why it ends with such distress the whole "how the hell cant you all see it? today ended as usual" after EVERYTHING all shes lost & ruined. it all means nothing. it changes nothing. & that just really get me

#aru sekai series #that and the several times it mentions different words for like crying out #ough. girl come here ur getting a hug #i dont think she'd accept a hug but she needs one and im going to give her one #AWFUL person but i love her for it #u also have to remember her songs from her perspective & shes not very honest at times #so to quote that one tumblr post dont fall for the front she puts up #also i think i THINK shes part of the reason tenshi got sacrificed but she didnt really know it would be /her/ sacrificed #i think theres some level of guilt going on there even though its obviously not directly stated #like from the level of panic and other things like the little admissions of being a liar and selfish #i think those are proof that on some level she really does care but she'll die before she ever shows that #u know.... #i have no idea if this makes any sense but god. i wamt to help her so bad she doesnt deserve all this

[justalilpearlie]

hi guys dont mind me being insane again

im not tagging this too much cus its more of a personal ramble cus idk im feelin silly today and the BPD hits too hard. i wont be explainin what BPD is either so if u dont know either look it up or ignore this post,,

man i. have you ever loved someone so much you cry? /pos

like man i. its not romantic, may i clarify. most of my fps, except for my main one, are platonic. one of them is familial even

but i just. i feel like such a parasocial freako but i genuinly feel so intensely. its so positive too. if you ignore the crippling paranoia i always have abt my fps hating me or me being so intense they get uncomfortable...

but i just??? im not. normal about them.

i dont wanna sound creepy but they make my world so much better. id take a bullet from them. if give anything for them to be alright. i genuinly just REALLY enjoy their company and knowing theyre having fun with me aswell. knowing they enjoy me as a person. that im not a nuisance for the people i love the most.

and gosh i really hope they dont see this. i would feel so ashamed and embarassed if they did.

luckly i have better ways of copying with distress, attachment issues, jealousy, possesiveness, and all that other FUN (not) stuff that comes with BPD or rather specifically having an fp. A nice trustworthy psychologist (if u can afford it) does wonders to you, let me tell you.

its still hard sometimes but ive learnt to deal with it in ways that arent destructive to my relationships with those around me. i can cool down and such instead of lashing out or splitting for the most minimal things.

but now. for whatever reason. i went on a huge "positive" ramble instead. it was meant to be appreciation at the time, and still is, but i feel like its something that couldve scared them off. i showed some stuff to irl friends and online family, and everyone said theyd feel very appreciated if someone told them that stuff, but i cant help but feel is because they're my loved ones also and stuff. i really. really feel like i was too intense. i suck at showing affection in a normal way, a calm way, subtle way, like a normal person.

at this point i think. sigh i think its better if i just say nice things anonymously. i think if people, in general, not only my fps. but if people dont know affection comes from me they'll take it so much better than if they know its *me* in particular. and idk why! its just my brain being stupid again.

brains love doing that, dont they? being stupid. telling you everyone hates you oh so much no matter what you do. that theyre lying behind your back, and hate you in secret, theyre just being polite and allat.

well let me tell you, dear reader, whoever the fuck might read this, specially if its from the bpd tags: thats not true. sure, there might be assholes out there, but those people you think hate you despite how close you are, most likely dont. and i cant even get this through my own head but my sister repeats it to me all the time. "[name] talks so nicely about you and seems so happy seeing you". even then its hard to believe, i gotta stare at nice screenshots ive saved where i believe ive done something good, something worthy of appreciation, something that has not only meaning but an impact, a possitive one. and i know the chances of them actually hating me are low, but i still believe more in those chances than the proof.

i feel a bit delusional in a way. and i mean, i am, often times. but this is one of those thoughts- those god dammed thoughts where you're self aware yet- yet it doesnt shake the feeling away, you know? like no there is no proof, no logical proof at least, only what your mind twists into proof. but you still just "know it", yknow? even if you dont actually know shit and are very wrong. you feel like you do and it- it fucking sucks.

dont even get me started on splits and mood swings, highs and lows. Cause well. THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST !! Lmao. i could go on for hours complaining tho. ough.

but yeah!! i just !! sorry, this took a turn. i just. needed to express myself idfk. i'll go back to posting abt minecraft men kissing soon or whatever, sorry normie followers /hj

i love them so much its overwhelming, yet i wouldnt change it for everything in the world, you know? not them. its hard but id rather endure it for them than have them not be THIS level of special to me anymore.

i really REALLY hope theyre not. uncomfortable by it tho. and wont dump me for it. i really wish i had a guide to how to and how to not mess up. so i could avoid doing dumb shit on accident.

and its funny cause theyre ppl that would absolutely tell me if im doing shit that bothers them, yet i believe theres smth else, stupid thoughts man. LEAVE ME ALONE FREDDY MERCURY!! UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD !! /ref

sighhhh anyhow yeah im dropping it here. bpd is a bitch. and to anyone out there dealing w it? godspeed. you can do this, i know life already sucks and this shitty dissorder doesnt help, but i know you can push through, mi gente bella.

Pearlo out. BPD hours rlly seem to be hitting at around 11-12 am, huh? /ij

#bpd rambles #bpd fp #bpd thoughts #bpd shit #bpd feels #bpd problems #bpd vent

[thoughts-and-all-that]

my brother is such an entitled manbaby.

he constantly talks over everyone in any interaction and has to be right about everything because god forbid he be anything but an alpha.

i am literally afab and queer and this man has, on multiple occasions, tried to mansplain feminism and queer issues to me. i have dedicated many hours, days, weeks, months, years of my life to not only studying these two things but participating in that kind of life. im a feminist. im literally queer. i change my actions and wording to best fit because i know how important words can be. he talks just to talk.

ive barely seen him in months because hes always with his drama loving girlfriend, i mean, she literally defended the kardashians when i said they were garbage. she loves reality tv. she cant help but fight with another person whos usually in this house which is its own can of dumbass worms. shes nice to me but i barely know anything about her and i fear if i learn more ill probably hate her. i dont care that hes spending all that time with her, if it makes him happy, whatever. its just weird that ive basically said all of less than 100 words to him in months.

but honestly, even if we did hang out again, itll be the same song and dance as before. we only play what he plays. its only when he wants to cause god forbid he stop what hes doing for anyone else.

he says 'oh just come and hang out whenever!' but if i go down there he will just ignore me for his games and shit. god forbid he sacrifice a little of himself for me. ive been wanting to play the last chapter of a game with someone for months and hes the only person who ever played it with me and it takes ages in singleplayer. in another game he wont dare help me with a mission ive been needing done that i cant do on my own, cause it doesnt benefit him.

i dont think he even knows how to make more than a few dishes and he basically refuses to learn more, and i think ill probably see him dead before he dares make something that isnt ramen at home. he either eats out or insists our dad makes food and he throws a hissy fit if our dad doesnt make food or get food out.

man speaking of hissy fits, this man gets beyond pissed at every inconvenience. this is why hes a manbaby most of all. yelling, screaming, punching inanimate objects. he doesnt hurt other people directly but it ruins a mood pretty quick when someone throws a yelling tantrum over a game not working for 0.2 seconds.

he thinks the world revolves around him and refuses to entertain that maybe it doesnt. granted, our parents spoiled him when he was young, but i cant blame them. they went through something horrible around that time and simply didnt want him to suffer even though they were, and he still was cause it affected him too, but they didnt want that to ruin him. they were just trying their hardest to make sure he was happy.

its on him that hes an overgrown 12 year old. its on him that he doesnt dare take a look at himself and wonder if maybe he should tweak his personality just a little.

i say all of this over a seemingly petty recent happening, honestly.

i am miserable in my house. its a disgusting mess constantly and im always the one cleaning the worst parts aside from my dad and sometimes my other brother, though my other brother usually has to clean up after his kids, which is another point of frustration. i love those kids but its infuriating to deal with people who dont, and in this case, cant listen to you. theyre so young that english is mostly just sounds to them, theyre only just starting to learn how to speak. they cry over stupid shit, take off their diapers at every chance, and tear shit up. theyre the cause of most messes that arent in the kitchen, and even in the kitchen. outside of that stuff we are broke because of bullshit outside of our control, and i cant drive and dont have a job because im terrified that ill crash a car because its so overwhelming, or that getting a job will make me feel a way that i dont want to feel if i can help it, and i dont have any fucking real life friends, and barely any online ones anymore

all that to mean, i get no peace in my life. at every turn i run into something that makes me want to cry my eyes out and run away but theres no where i can run to. i hold tightly onto the smallest things that bring me relief, like my art, or the things i like to consume like shows and books and youtube videos about who knows what, and just. things i can control even a little. my room is the cleanest in the house in pretty much every aspect and i keep it that way with an iron fist.

and, to be gross, its nice to sit on the toilet and stare at my phone in the morning for a few minutes in a usually warm room that has very little going on (the most happening is trash on the floor.) and no ones gonna barge in and make me do who knows what instead of what i want. i know i sit in there a bit long but i mean, we literally have 2 bathrooms in this house, idc that you dont want to go into my dads room in the morning, just look the other way from him! hes asleep hes not gonna care!

and this guy who i have seen and talked to so few times in months, who i honestly at this point have wished would move out of this house for years for so many reasons, who made both times we went to six flags so obnoxious, one of them because he brought a fucking 2 year old to an amusement park in mid winter i mean seriously what the fuck did you think would happen,

he fucking tried to tell me how to use the bathroom? 'oh, stop being in there so long youre making people wait when they shouldnt have to' first off, theres two bathrooms, second off, i aint ever heard yalls asses fucking knock on that door to even tell me that someone was fucking waiting, and third off

shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!! im so tired of your entitled spoiled brat wannabe hillbilly ex military wannabe alpha ass. just shut up and move out already, jesus fucking christ.

asshole making me insecure about using the fucking toilet in my own home. ill fucking shit on your bed see how you feel about that.

theres an advantage to no one reading these posts on this blog that no one looks at. i really can say the stupidest shit.

plus, my family will never find this blog. none of them use tumblr, they would never look at the tags i use on this blog, and even if they saw this blog theyd never click on it. no one clicks on it, its a vent blog.

fuck you, brother. im sick of sacrificing myself for people who wouldnt fucking do the same for me. i got this mad over a petty thing but honestly it really is about the bigger picture. the picture paints someone id never associate with if i wasnt stuck with you by blood and household.

ill probably feel different later. i get so easily swayed by talking to people even though when im alone i always come to the same conclusion.

im fucking miserable here.

#vent #ignore me #personal

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tears of themis rosa #artem wing

[wormstar]

i was going thru ur blog and u have good posts about ableist aus and i was wondering - what if in the aus the requirements for warriors were different? Like instead of having to fight jay only hunts? Would the muddling of roles still be ableist? In a Tree-like situation?If its not presented in a "work super hard to get what you want" and more in a "yeah they can decide what he wants to do". This is mostly for jay (and cinder) specifically because they had desires to be warriors yet were forced to be medicine cats because of ableism (ig this can apply to briar but i just truly cant remember oots that well and i havent read her death). I am asking because i am still trying to unlearn the ableist mindset that i grew up with. Feel free to ignore this ask and thnx!

hey yeah thank you for asking! took the opportunity to write up more general thoughts on rewrites as a whole and i went over why exactly theyre ableist hopefully that provides a better perspective

i think the major thing to keep in mind is that the structure of the clans is very abled centric and overly ignorant of inner community work (for example dens are only solidified or altered when either the area takes damage/the clans grows wrt population) theres a fixation on marking territory and starting fights and whatever with other clans which is whats expected of most warriors to partake in. to fix those implications in any fanwork youve really gotta knead into them and understand the nature of their ableism....its not just a problem with cats being barred from being warriors its the whole occupation and the standard its held to, so to speak (+ that fits into general clan society being flawed but eh thats another thing and also its easy to branch out into thought about)

going to stress other disabled people might have other solutions to how disabled cats are received this is just how i like to think of things

first i think its kind of interesting to examine discrepancies between disabled cats in canon as somewhat of an indicator of clan attitudes and leaders and whatnot. like i think you could get something interesting by regarding lets say deadfoot in windclan and cinderpelt in thunderclan who both have bad legs yet had different experiences with them in clan life. if you wanna go a step further comparing generations like lilywhisker and deadfoot or cinderpelt and jayfeather (+ the consideration of how congenital disabilities are regarded) can also make things interesting and just give you an idea of what to do. having the clan systems stray from a clear-cut common attitude both gives you more freedom for different approaches + adds to worldbuilding anyway. imo boiling down clan society to perfect utopia just gets boring but you can have imperfections in the system that depict the disabled experience just fine. just be careful with them and the way they come across yeah?

(real quick as an in between. god just dont refer to cats/their injuries as crippled. it still happens somehow)

im a little ambivalent on the idea of creating a ‘special role’ for disabled cats to be thrown into. cause then thats a repeat of canon medicine den really. its like ‘oh youre disabled youre instantly discarded into the x role pit’ i think just adding substantial in-universe changes to the warrior rank itself (vagueness is fun actually) or expanding on ‘warrior types’ rectifies the othering angle. ‘othering’ as a whole is just as bad as the ‘exception’ archetype people run for most warrior aus i want to state that clearly. effectively if youre gonna introduce roles that dont depend on fighting or hunting or both make sure theres abled cats who have them too. like say you want a camp-based role where a cats job is to fix dens or one where they help in the nursery, its far easier for a cat who cant run to manage those but also have some cats who are physically capable of doing other ‘tasks’ do the same thing for personal reasons

the tree comparison is interesting honestly cause i guess you could just give a cat a particular thing to do as a nonfixed position. and roles accordingly being made for a cat to fill until they cant and the positions done away with afterward. but youve gotta do it carefully so you dont fall into othering as ive said. id avoid something like that personally i just dont like the quality of ‘well theyre not a warrior (the most noble/useful concept in cat society) theyre actually some other thing’

in general giving disabled cats agency and choice is the best thing you can do. whether this means them deciding on tasks they can do themselves or picking a certain kind of warrior to be or asking for an assistant to help them out when they do stuff. the way you wanna pull it off again depends on my first question of “how does the relevant part of your warrior cat world treat disabled cats already”

very important point, the majority of the ableism also comes in the form of character narratives and not just the structure of the world itself. like think for a bit why the writers decided jayfeather shouldve been forced to be a medic or why briarlight got killed off early etc etc. characters ‘wanting’ to be like the abled ideal and still being bitter about not fulfilling that years down the line are just part of the ableist storylines. if youre abled id literally say just do away with those sadstuck ‘i wanted to be a warrior!’ moments. if you really want to id say pull a cinderpelt or a shadowsight where a cats time in the medicine den started their fascination with medicine and they switched to that path due to personal intrigue. id say a more interesting and realistic angle to it is having a disabled cat who found fulfilment in doing something else besides being a warrior becoming bitter about their entire clan ‘mourning’ how theyll never fight again or giving them the pretence of being a warrior being the best thing you can do.... it depends on the character really

this is just a very basic disability thing but stray from the whole ‘useless/dead weight’ way of regarding disabled characters. like dont place their worth on how well they service a clan or not theyre still deserving of shelter and whatnot. you dont need to justify a cats existence or usefulness by going ‘well they may be blind but their sense of smell is excellent so we keep them around’ or whatever its just no good

last thing i can think of is like. dont disregard how a cats disability affects them. like its fine that briarlight cant fight (or even hunt major types of prey) she doesnt need some convoluted method that lets her do that. there are like a dozen other warriors hunting and fighting and theres present value and enjoyment in the stuff she does around camp. she doesnt have to be brightheart 2 its ok

#hopefully this makes sense im tired of reading it over and over again #rambling

[beezverse]

@the-splodge has given me prompting time to dump

Team B.E.S.T. was amazing i love them. Something i love about their team is how you could tell from the beginning how they would crack if they did. From the beginning it was grouped Etho with Bdubs and Skizz with Tango, if there was a falling out you knew who would go with who. Even though you knew that though, it still hurt when it finally happened. Also a thought, there had to be this thought that crossed Skizzs mind at least once when he was red of if B.E.S.T. ever actually cared for him considering how many times did Bdubs go red? And he kept getting brought back. Yet when Skizz went red, he was just out of the group, no hope. That can be two things one of which he already knew they wouldnt bring him back, probably cause theyre getting to late game (still would have to be a thought of them never caring before shaking it off with a "no its just late game") or you can think of him every night for some time going "tonight. Theyll bring me back tonight. They have to!" And just having that hope squashed every day. Anyway time to the next subject!

Now onto things about the Mooners. First, imma talk about Grian cause i have some stuff. He lost his soul then stopped sleeping? He keeps getting confused with reality and doesnt fully know whats going on around him? This man doesnt know who he is anymore from a mix of the fact he doesnt have his soul anymore and the fact he isnt sleeping. This man is 100% losing his sense of self and reality because of two events that happened a bit too close together. Cause like imagine losing your soul, youd have to lose a sense of self, right? So imagine ya start feeling off and you dont fully know who you are and it gets worse as the days pass and then you decide "yeah, ill voluntarily stop sleeping for as long as the moon is big" you lose a bit of a sense of reality, right? Then things happen and you dont know if its happening or if its a hallucination or not like blocks flying, your friends look changing, and a mob starting to laugh at you. Poor man. Also i 100% believe he thinks Ren and Doc killing him was a hallucination he does not think that happened thats why he didnt care like at all and at most was like "ooo cobwebs" he cant fully feel like that happened so to him? It didnt. It happened to him and he knows that but he also doesnt feel it really happened. Hes doing greattttt. More stuff cause new episode. Grian being so sleep deprived his Watcher self is starting to affect him and stuff so he starts Watching Mumbo. Also "i am you" yeah Mumbo has Grians soul so technically he is! Anyway next Mooner on the chopping block? Why the good ol' Mumbo Jumbo of course! Now this bitch just stole a soul so on that front hes feeling a bit off but otherwise hes fineeee. Hes also so tired he constantly feels as though he could pass out but shhh who cares the moon told him to and he loves the moon and this is the only way to stop the moon from punishing all of Hermitcraft for commiting the sin of ignoring her. Oh maybe thats why its a cult. More stuff from what happened today!!! Mumbo, in response to Grian being like "i am you" was all like "ive been thinking about this" he knows he has Grians soul he has been thinking about it and he is wondering if him and Grian are technically one in the same. Anyway some Mooner Scar thoughts! I havent watched any of his recent videos so sorry but yeah. He is the most energetic out of the three im talking about and no one gets it how is he like this what the fuck. He is ready for crime and thats about it. Look at him go! I dont have many Scar thoughts just he is constantly on the verge of a crash and hes doing great

Next things on the chopping block! Last Life Scar! God this poor poor man, nothing worked out for him huh? A tragedy. He had an ally for what, half a episode? Who then died and was the first Red and only red for a good while. He just kept trying to sell things and it wasnt really all working out for him. He goes red because he helped all the last reds become yellow and now hes alone again. The contracts he made never really helped him. At all. Like poor guy right? Nothing went his way and he still tried. And god he died in the water tube thing and the only reason he died was he double guessed himself. Cleo i think made it to the top without sprinting at all while swimming because she just kept going but Scar double guessed, opened his inventory, and tried to prepare his pickaxe and even hit the wall a bit. If he didnt double guess he would have been yellow for a bit longer. Quite sad huh? And then we have Last Life Joel and how he went bonkers like did you see that man? He did so well im proud of him he got top five. He just went on offence when he became the Boogeyman for the first time and never left. Probably cause he was red cause he failed so badly but shhhhh. He cured himself. Technically. God i love how he got his kill then died like damn L dude that must suck. God im attached to this creature of a man. Just... Look at him go, he either fails miserablely, somehow succeeds, or fails successfully. He is a disaster and i am here for it

Anyway that should be everything god this is long im sorry i dont know how to make the cut thing so oops. Also hope this is all coherent, this is multiple days of typing and i havent read back

#grian #last life smp #hermitcraft #last life #mumbo jumbo #etho #ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #bdubs #team best #tangotek #skizzleman #goodtimeswithscar #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #hermitcraft 8 #long post #the mooners #moons big #god this is a lot im sorry

[queerautism]

and on another note, the constant references to the brain scan studies as ""proof that endogenic systems dont exist"" piss me off so much because there are SO many different reaches and misrepresentations all going on at once there

like, the amnt of studies for this are really not that high (bc again DID is very understudied for how complex it is) or conclusive. secondly stop pretending like any of yall actually understand what the differences in activity and sizes of the different parts of the brain mean in terms of how it translates into the differences in how our brains and bodies function, and how DID develops

for one we are SOOOOO fucking far from that sort of definitive understanding of the brain. in DID or in general! we are very far from being able to use brain scans to reliably diagnose DID. secondly a lot of yall are like 16 you arent neurosurgeons afbskhfks even if it WAS a harder science than it really is its not like you have the education and tools to interpret the data correctly

an even fewer amount of studies actually focus on what most of these ppl point to, that being the observation of switches showing up on brain scans. does it support the idea of DID existing and affecting the brain? yeah it does, and i dont think many people will argue with you on that. but none of these studies include endogenic systems. sometimes theyll include people with ptsd or bpd or whatnot but not endogenic systems. the absolute closest is neurotypical ACTORS. they arent people who believe they are plural, they are people pretending to be plural as instructed. which yeah, thats all sysmeds think endogenic systems are, but that doesnt mean its fucking evidence lol

also? most studies ive come across dont even include people diagnosed with OSDD-1/DDNOS-1. thats kind of a problem?? OSDD-1 is the exact same disorder as DID, and OSDD is the most commonly diagnosed dissociative disorder! with OSDD-1 being most of those cases! that means that a huge portion of people with this disorder are excluded in the research on account of experiencing the symptoms differently..... meaning we dont really know how that affects brain scans. how similar is an OSDD-1 systems brain going to look when switching compared to a neurotypical pretending? how are they going to look compared to an endogenic systems brain while switching? we dont know!

and even THEN, even if we WERE able to definitively identify a difference in brain function between DID/OSDD and endogenic systems, there is absolutely nothing to say that endogenic systems arent real. all u could take away from that is that they arent the same thing, that they function differently and have different causes. because you just cant define someones personal subjective experience like that. endogenic systems who get presented with "irrefutable evidence" that theyre not systems, theyre just neurotypicals playing pretend (ignoring that most endos arent even 'otherwise neurotypical'), and even if they accept that, theyre not just gonna like. stop being plural. do u know how many systems just would not be here if u could make them go away via denial akdbskjfkshf i cant think of ANY system i know regardless of origin that didnt start out heavily in denial and still experience bouts of denial from time to time. you cant make endogenic systems go away no matter how much you dont like em lmao, they have made their mark on the internet long before you were even born

- 🦦

Ue so right its just all around bullshit tbh

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 8

a/n: okay so since my halloween special was a flop ill write this instead but uwuwuwuwu its also my birthday today so hehe this is kinda a special request too :D

WAIT YOU GUYS THIS IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT IF YOURE NOT A POTTERHEAD BUT OMG I SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS SIRIUS BLACK LIKE WHAT :”) I THINK I SAVED A COUNTRY IN MY PAST LIFE OR SOMETHING :”)

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- IF IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY! omg :0 i think we can all agree that the ramen shop will get GOOD BUSINESS that day. but it was a total surprise when the upperclassmen basically JUMP you after exiting your last class. vball practice? deliberately cancelled cuz today is YOUR day. kyo leading you, iwa making sure your eyes are closed while oikawa keeps teasing you on how you’re letting a group of men take you BLIND (cue the PUNCH). your smile is worth the XXX amount spent c,:

LOOK HOW CUTE MATTSUHANA ARE IN THIS LIKE OMG ITS LIKE IWAOI SPIRIT SWITCHED W THEIRS AND NOW IWAOI HAVE TO PULL THEM APART INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND

okay yay happy birthday to me uwu

i kinda put this request off since my borfday was right around the corner so hahaha to the anon who requested this, here it is!!!

okay anyways!!!

so today is your borfday

obvs this could be any day lmao it doesnt have to be today but it can be any day just pretend the calendar was different lmao

you were born today and your parents and natsu obvs celebrated it the morning you woke up

like you were peacefully holding your squirtle plushie and snuggling close to get more sleep bc it was still early

but natsu quite literally kicked your door down and your parents walked in with a large cake with candles

STEPBRO WHAT ARE YOU-

okay ill stop now

ofc you were startled bc what the hek 

like you were so surprised that you rolled off the bed and landed harshly on the floor

instead of being yanno ‘yey! its my borfday!’ you were like ‘dear asahi kill me’

waking you up at the buttcrack of dawn?

lmao 10/10 not recommend

natsu felt really bad and he pulled you up from the floor and situated you back on the bed while your parents backtracked back downstairs

‘ohmygosh babygirl im so sorry i didnt mean to hulk smash you to the floor’

im sorry sir what 💀

this whore

you waved him off but he still felt guilty so he just pressed kisses to your forehead to soothe it

meanwhile youre just leaning against him, eyes closed, bc you grew up with natsu always doing this whenever you got hurt so it was such a soff moment for you

eventually, he was able to bring you downstairs and your parents were lowkey scared lmao but you smiled at them

‘thank you for the cake’

they breathed a sigh of relief and you sat down on the chair to eat breakfast

‘here darling’

you accepted the bowl of rice from your madre and you ate your birthday breakfast with them while yall are saving the cake for later during dinner

when you finished, you were getting up and shouting up the stairs that you were showering first

hehe natsu was all like ‘lmao why? its like 4 in the morning’

you froze, foot hovering over a step and you sighed

‘excuse me what 💀‘

yea no

you were dragged back to the kitchen and you were all pouty bc duh who the hek wants to wake up that early but your parents saved themselves by giving you your parents early

(literally anything you guys want they gave you okay? but only like 3 lmao not a bajillion things)

you were still grateful for everything and you felt very much appreciated

since it was still early, you just decided to screw it and got ready to go to school early and set up the gym for early morning practice

natsu volunteered to go with you to school but you shook your head

‘nah, im okay. the walk is peaceful’

he huffed, crossing his arms, but nodded anyways

‘fine. only because its your birthday’

hehehehe the amount of freedom during your day of birth

you were of course the first one in the gym but you didnt mind bc you actually liked the quietness that was so rare inside there

you turned on some (f/m) (lmao favorite/music) and you were sweeping, unknowingly swaying and dancing slightly

at around 5:40, the third years have arrived and since theyre the eldest, they usually get there first

omg the blush explosion on their faces when they saw you twirling around with the mop and ofc oikawa being the little poopie head he is, he swooped in and held your waist

you got startled but seeing the soft brown eyes of your captain made a soft smile appear on your face

‘hello, oikawa-san’

you whispered and he nuzzled his face to the side of your head softly

‘morning, y/n-chan’

before he could go on, iwa threw him away behind him and you giggled

mattsun raised an eyebrow at your odd behavior

‘hm? why are you so happy today, y/n-chan?’

you stopped then chuckled

‘nothing much, mattsun-san’

you didnt really want to tell them it was your birthday bc tbh you didnt think it was a big deal or anything

the others werent complaining bc they rarely see you so lively and upbeat and they loved it

you were humming under your breath for gods sake

the other boys have trickled in and again, they also went ‘?’

your soft smiles, giggles, and joy was everything to them 

god bless for this beautiful morning

poor kindaichi cowered in fright as he braced himself for a scolding from you for missing a block but he got even more scared when you just patted his head

‘its okay, yuu-kun. there’s always a next time’

yea there was something wrong

unfortunately, school was starting and they weren’t able to start questioning you and there aint no way kindaichi and kunimi were going to do that themselves without the upperclassmen who could calm you down if you got too defensive

you were skipping down the hallway and you even looped your arms around your first year friends and they shared a confused look before being dragged by you

during class, darling kunimi was too busy and distracted by your quiet singing of some show that takeru watched when you were over

‘KUNIMI-SAN, IS MATH SO BORING THAT YOU FIND INTEREST ON L/N-SAN INSTEAD?’

yes, yes it is

but he didnt say that and instead turned away so fast that you felt the wind beside you

DID A 180 CRAZY~~~

he texted the separate bros group chat about you still being all happy and they were all curious as to what makes you so happy

during lunch time, kindaichi usually went over to go eat with you and kunimi right?

but he was surprised when he just saw kunimi there without you

‘wh-’

‘i dont know’

‘what do you mean you dont know?!’

nah fam we not dying yet

natsu texted you earlier that he had a bento for you that he made himself and he wanted you to eat it instead of the one your mom made

you were passing by the building entrance door thingy and caught the attention of the third years who were at the rooftop eating their lunch

there was also other students outside and they watched your flowery aura skip over to the equally attractive hiroshi natsu

‘y/n-chan~’

he cooed and you smiled up at him

curse him and his tall height

he let you hold the f/c cloth covered box so he could cup your face and kiss over your booboo again

‘wo mow, matsu-’

translation: no more, natsu!

you whined as he kept kissing your forehead and you were turning red at the attention from the other students

dang oikawa crushed his juice box at the sight even though he knew natsu was just a cousin

‘ill save you, y/n-chan!’

he shouted, already flying down the stairs towards you and the other third years after him to keep him from doing something stupid

but they also lowkey wanna see you too

but by the time they reached the entrance, you were already walking away and even passed by the quartet, giving them a close-eyed smile and a cute ‘hello!’

the 3 were distracted by you and were coddling you while oikawa ran out and shouted after natsu’s retreating form

‘natsu! oi, natsu!’

as if the boy was purposely ignoring him, natsu kept walking forward

‘HIROSHI NATSU!’

his scream finally made him turn around and natsu’s face held a teasing smirk

‘oya? chibi-chan?’

KDJFSLFDFKDSJKFD YES YOU CALLED?

oikawa huffed and panted as he firmly walked over to natsu

‘tell me, hiroshi natsu. why is y/n-chan all cutesy and happy today?’

then the smirk fell, replaced by an actual, genuine annoyed look

‘hah?’

oikawa blinked

‘what do you mean ‘hah’?’

natsu waved his hands around in a frenzy of shock

‘so you mean to tell me, you, oikawa tooru, the dude who literally woke up the neighborhood at the buttcrack of dawn a few weeks ago, in love with my cousin, doesn’t know what today is?’

‘was i supposed to,,,, know?’

KSDLFJSDKFJDS THIS DUDE

natsu’s face became a meme and the guy was so disappointed that he just turned around and continued walking

oikawa gasped and clutched natsu’s arm, begging and pleading to tell him

ofc the little shite natsu is, he smirked down at oikawa’s kneeling form

‘hmm, gotta say, chibi-kun. i like this view~’

KDSLFJSDKFJLSDKFJDKS WHOS CHILD ARE YOU, HIROSHI NATSU

‘tell me, natsu-chan!’

the puppy eyes of oikawa tooru not only affected girls but also boys fully socked homosexual boys so natsu had to turn away, fighting down a blush

stay loyal to katsuki

stay loyal to katsuki

stay loyal to katsuki

wait, no, probably tetsu

or kenma

or both

or keiji

‘-me! natsu-chan!’

that snapped the pink-haired boy out of his thoughts and crossed his arms, glaring down at oikawa

‘hm, why do you wanna know so bad? youre on your knees, begging me for information you shouldve already known since you claim to like her so much’

oikawa pouted and he sniffled

‘i wanna know everything about y/n-chan. i wanna know what today is so i can make her as happy as she is today forever!’

‘youre so cheesy’

natsu chided and oikawa pouted even harder causing natsu to sigh and pinch his nose

‘the girl was born today’

oikawa’s face lit up and he hurriedly stood on his feet, hands on natsu’s biceps since he could barely reach natsu’s shoulders bc of his 6′5 height

‘its her birthday today?!’

‘i literally just said that-’

‘oh my gosh! we need to plan something!’

oikawa started but then frowned

‘but we’re in school so it would be too late to do a surprise when we finish’

his mumbles 

filled their vicinity and natsu finally realized where exactly they were so he tugged the still mumbling boy over to the side out of people’s view

ohmygosh if i saw 2 handsome, tall, hot boys there, id be staring too omg

‘oi, oikawa’

he still didnt budge until natsu had to kick him at the leg

rip not his knee yall

tooru flinched and hatefully glared at the boy but natsu pointedly glared at him right back

‘before you start bitching to me, i was just gonna suggest i can help you and your little plan to woo my baby cousin’

as if he wasn’t irritated in the first place, tooru lit up and he excitedly clung onto natsu

‘really? you’ll really help me?’

natsu rolled his eyes and tried to pry the brunette off of him but he felt the grip tighten

‘listen, oikawa, as much as i like having pretty boys hang on to me, i’d really appreciate if you just back off a bit and actually understand what im saying’

can i just say how long their lunch break is?

and not at natsu trying to get with oikawa and oikawa completely missing it

‘you can go do your education scam system thing while i can go set things up over at that one noodle place she likes’

natsu explained

oikawa was about to smile until he paused and leaned away

‘theres a catch. i know theres a catch’

then natsu smirked, confirming oikawa’s suspicion

‘ill think about what i really want but for now, i just wanna see that one doggie boy you guys have. also, your friend with the big arms’

lmao imagine the surprise in oikawa’s face

‘YOU GO FOR THEM BUT NOT ME?!’

‘why? you want me to?’

‘YES! i mean, well-no but YES!’

‘*sigh*’

thats how oikawa ended up telling the boys about the last minute birthday surprise for you and the help from natsu

‘yea, apparently its her birthday. also, iwa-chan, kyoken-chan, you need to talk to natsu-chan’

‘hah?! why?!’

‘THAT IDIOT?!’

you were minding your own business during class until you saw kunimi raise his hand

‘yes, kunimi-kun?’

‘bathroom’

normally, you wouldve just looked away but you noticed him grab his bag when the teacher wasn’t looking which prompted you to sigh since he was skipping class

i mean, whats the point of skipping class when the day is about to be over in like 15 minutes anyways?

‘make sure to come to practice’

you whispered when he passed and he smiled, making you raise an eyebrow bc that was a smile you knew that had a hidden meaning behind it

when the bell rang, everyone nyoomed themselves out of there and you were just walking past the door when a body came crashing to you which made you distracted and allowed a chance of vulnerability

there was a pair of hands covered your eyes from behind, hands grabbed your own from in front, and an arm around your waist started to guide you forward

‘um, just so you know, i have the power of god, anime, and iwa-san by my side and i wont hesitate to kick you in the di-’

‘its so cute when y/n-chan threatens us’

a voice from in front of you hums and you smiled

‘you wont think im really cute once youre on the floor clutching your di-’

‘oi, y/n, ill wash your tongue with soap’

‘yes, iwa-san’

you continued to walk, completely trusting at the hands of your boys, when you felt yourself being pulled to turn a corner

‘iwa-san? aren’t we going to the gym? why are we exiting the gates?’

the boys exchanged a look of amazement at your sense of intuition and the accuracy of your guess despite being deprived of your senses

‘dont think you can lie to us, y/n-chan! how could you not tell us its your birthday today?!’

you heard mattsun a few feet in front of you whine and you giggled

‘its not important’

then kyotani scoffed, you knowing it was him by feeling him twitch by the arm around your waist

‘boke, of course its important’

‘so your punishment for lying to us, we’re kidnapping you’

makki teased and you rolled your eyes beneath iwa’s hands

‘oh, shiver me timbers’

the walk continued, you still being dragged around, and you heard oikawa laugh

‘oh dear, its a sight to see, ain’t it? if only you can see the looks people are giving us, y/n-chan~ a group of boys taking a little girl like you? how could you trust us to not do something to you-ACK!’

you cut him off when you lifted your foot to kick right where it hurts the most

forget his weewee

its the knee

poor child crumbled to the floor and had to be picked up by baby watari

‘oh wata-cchi, youre the only one who cares about oikawa-san!’

you heavily sighed at the exagerrated theatrics of your captain

‘the one day. the one day when he could be a normal person for once’

you grumbled but stopped when you heard iwa laugh by your ear

‘he’s right you know. you technically lied to us when we asked if there was something special’

you shivered and you leaned your head back

‘its okay, iwa-san. we can talk about it after this event. make sure to give me my present, okay?’

SKDLFJSDKFJDSKFLDS GIRL NO I CANT I WANNA JUMP-

but iwa chuckled and he promised you that you would love his present

kyotani’s arm tightened around you, as if prompting you that he was still there and he wanted your attention too

‘careful there, pup’

he warned when you almost tripped over air

‘hehe, i know ill always be safe when youre next to me, kyo-san’

you teased and he was lucky your eyes were covered bc you would see the way his cheeks tinted red

‘s-shut up, idiot! maybe i shouldve just let you fall and hit your head! not like its gonna do damage since theres nothing there anyways!’

you just giggled and he retaliated by pinching your waist to which you squealed and gripped his hands

then the smell of the ramen broth entered your nose

‘are we-?’

‘nope! not there yet, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice made you whine and complain but then he stopped, making everyone else stop too

‘okay, iwa-chan, kyoken-chan, release her!’

both grumbled something about you being treated like a pokemon but stopped when your eyes widened and contorted into confusion

‘huh?’

oikawa grinned and your eyes met to see the way his eyes crinkled, a tell-tale sign that this one was a rare genuine smile

‘come on! lets go!’

you let him take you inside the restaurant until your feet stopped, eyes wide when you noticed the streamers and the cake by the corner

your parents stood with natsu by the table and a large smile decorated your face

‘you,, you did this for me?’

you whispered and the team made noises of agreement

‘we had to do something for you to celebrate the day you were born. its a special day because you came into the world and we were able to meet you’

yahaba grinned and you gave him a big hug but you leaned back a bit so that the others would know you’re talking to them too

‘everyone, thank you. i love you’

they all scoffed a bit to hide their flustered state but they still smiled and each gave you a hug

‘oi! come here and eat the food! oikawa’s paying today!’

natsu shouted, which caught the attention of some customers in the restaurant, but they just ignored it bc theyve seen you and the team so many times that yall practically lived there

‘what?! i didnt-’

oikawa started but your mother came up to him and clasped her hands to his, sharing the same exact grin you have

‘you must be oikawa tooru. y/n has told me loads about you’

excuse him while he descends to heaven bc your mother is practically another you

iwa was already acquainted with your dad so they started talking and you just stood back, observing your two families interact with each other

you were so unbelievably happy that it hurts

kindaichi noticed you and he slinked away from the debate between makki and mattsun to go sling an arm around you

‘so? what do you think?’

you turned to him with glassy eyes

‘im so blessed. so blessed to have these amazing people with me’

poor babie panicked a bit bc he didnt really know how to comfort a crying girl but he just wrapped his arms around you

‘hehe, its kinda the other way around actually. we’re blessed to have someone like you’

he whispered and you giggled then playfully hit his shoulder

‘so cheesy, yuu-kun’

he leaned away from the hug and gave you an offended look

‘but its true! i dont know what we did to have-’

‘Y/N-CHAN! NO! HELP!’

oikawa shouted from the other side, cutting off your soft moment with kindaichi

‘what are you doing, natsu?’

you noticed your cousin wrapping his arms around your captain and trying to drag him away but poor tooru was scrambling to escape

‘we made a deal, didnt we, darling~? i know what i want now and youre going to have to give me you’

oikawa screamed

a/n: can we please pretend i posted this on november 3? bc i was dumb and forgot to post this and KLDJLSDKFJDSKD IM SO ANGRY but its okay at least i am able to publish this haha

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #aoba johsai #aoba josai x reader #aoba johsai x reader #seijoh #aoba josai #aoba johsai imagines #aoba josai imagines #seijoh imagines #seijoh manager #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #aoba johsai manager #aoba josai manager #seijoh x reader #aoba johsai headcanons #aoba josai headcanons #seijoh headcanons #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #aoba johsai fluff #aoba josai fluff #seijoh fluff