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commanderquinn · 10 months

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Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

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master list / ao3 chapter link

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warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest.

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them.

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind.

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating.

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer."

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all.

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed.

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace.

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly.

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake.

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her.

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise.

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation.

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately.

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless."

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him.

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population.

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line.

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt.

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field.

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so.

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future.

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk.

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country.

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?"

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth.

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate.

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience.

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him.

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola."

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is.

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who."

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically.

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window.

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements.

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

#chapter update #good space

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the-marauders-enthusiast · 3 years

Text

I’ve Fallen in Love With My Best Friend - James P. x Reader

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: There’s an Amortentia lesson in Potions one day, and y/n feels confident that her best friend and crush, James Potter, didn’t like her back, as he has his heart reserved for Lily Evans. James also believes he’s in love with Lily, but things change when he smells someone else in the Amortentia.

Walking into Professor Slughorn's class, you noticed the other students were perked up, excited for the lesson. You sat down, confused, until you saw the potion on Slughorn's desk, which you immediately noticed was Amortentia. Like your other classmates, you also felt eager for the lesson to start.

Suddenly you heard some people stumble into the room, instantly recognizing them as your best friends, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. You smiled at James, seeing him scan his eyes around the room to find you. You waved your hand, calling him over to sit next to you. He grinned and walked over to the desk, sitting in the seat. "Good morning y/n!" he greeted kindly. He then looked around the classroom, his face morphing to a confused look when he noticed the buzzing excitement in the room. "Why is everyone so chipper today?" he asked. You then pointed at the potion on Slughorn's desk, "I'm guessing we're doing a lesson on Amortentia today." He was about to ask was Amortentia was, but was interrupted when Slughorn started talking.

"Good morning class, today we will be learning about Amortentia! Now, does anyone know what that is?" He questioned. You raised your hand quickly, and smiled when he called on you. "Amortentia is known as the world's most powerful love potion, and smells different to each person, as it's supposed to smell like whatever you love most."

"Perfect Ms. y/l/n! 10 points to y/h." you grinned proudly. You then heard Sirius' voice behind you, "Well I don't think prongs needs to smell it, we all know what it's gonna be!" He teased, James saying a lighthearted "shut up!" in return.

You knew what Sirius was talking about, of course. It was common knowledge that James was head over heels for Lily Evans, how could he not? In your eyes, she was everything that you wanted to be. Lily was gorgeous, popular, but most of all, she had James' attention. You've been in love with James about the same amount of time hes been in love with lily, and it hurt. It hurt being in love with someone who was so painfully obviously in love with someone else. Suddenly you weren't as excited for the lesson as you were before, as you weren't exactly thrilled to hear James talk about Lily's scent in the potion.

Slughorn started to call people up to smell the potion, and you waited your turn, watching them quickly walk to the desk when their name was called.

"Ms. y/l/n?" You snapped your head up. Everyone's eyes were suddenly on you, although the only ones that mattered were the hazel ones staring next to you. You started to get nervous, walking to the potion on the desk. Once there, you smelled the mixture.

broomstick polish, cologne, and freshly cut grass.

You rolled your eyes smiling, you had very clearly smelt one James Fleamont Potter. what a shocker, you thought. You gave a quick thanks to Professor Slughorn and sat back down, too embarrassed to share what you smelt with the class.

a few people went after you, and then James was called up. He smiled as the other marauders teased him. He confidently walked to the potion, grinning widely. Looking very sure of himself, he swiftly smelt the Amortentia. Then he suddenly had a puzzled expression on his face, quickly shifting to a frown. You started to feel worried as he nodded at Slughorn and quickly walked back to his seat. You instantly turned to him, "James are you okay?". His eyes widened dramatically, "What? oh yeah, I'm fine.", he replied quickly, avoiding your eyes. You frowned and turned back to the class.

When the lesson ended he practically ran out of the room, the other pranksters following quickly, looking ready for an interrogation. You just stared at the seat he was just sitting at, wondering what could have happened for him to act like that.

After that potions lesson, James had started avoiding you. Hed constantly make sure he didn't run into you, avoid your eye contact, sit far away from you at all times, and practically pretend you didn't exist. Any time you tried to talk to him, he would just brush you off, giving some lame excuse. It was as if the two of you had never been friends.

- "Hey James, do you wanna go to Hogsmeade this weekend with the others?"

"Sorry, I need to catch up on homework."

- " James! Wanna go to the library together after class?"

"I already have plans, sorry y/n."

- "Hey wanna go to the Quidditch pitch and practice?"

"Uh sorry y/n, maybe another time."

After a couple weeks of the neglect, your concern and confusion had turned into anger. What had you done to make him avoid you? And why couldn't he just talk to you about it? At this point, you had gotten fed up. You were walking to the Great Hall for dinner, and saw your friends about to walk in. Before a certain stag could enter, you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back to face you.

"Oi! What are you- y/n!" He had a panicked expression, not expecting you to be the one who pulled him back. You made sure the other marauders were gone before dragging James to an empty corridor.

"What's your problem!" he asked exasperatedly, which made you scowl angrily.

"My problem?! You're the problem you idiot!"

He frowned, about to defend himself but you stopped him before he could.

"You've been avoiding me like the plague for weeks!"

"No I have-"

"Don't even try to deny it! I thought we were friends James."

"We are friends!"

"Then why have you been pretending like i dont exist!?" You shouted, feeling all of your anger bubble to the surface. James raised his eyebrows, shocked at the anger in your voice. you felt tears start to brim your eyes, "...is it me? Did i do something wrong?" Your voice had lowered, filled with fear, and you felt a tear roll down your face.

His gaze softened, "No, y/n, its not you", He said reassuringly. You felt more tears fall onto your cheeks.

"It just feels like I'm losing you James." You looked down at your feet. He lifted your chin to make you look up at him. "You could never lose me, y/n", he said with a pained expression.

Your brows threaded together, "Then whats wrong? Why haven't you been talking to me?"

He's silent for a few moments before finally finding the words.

"...I was scared", He whispered.

You frowned, "Of what?"

"My feelings. I've been so confused-"

"James i don't understand-"

"Please, just let me explain", he said nervously. You nodded, letting him continue.

"..For so long.. I thought it was Lily. I thought she was the one for me. I've been chasing after her for so long.. I was so sure that she was it for me. And then that Amortentia lesson happened. I was so confident it would smell like her.. but it didnt", he looked down and twiddled his thumbs, "It was you."

Your eyes widened, "James-"

"Just listen. I smelled you in the Amortentia. And for days after I was so confused about my feelings - feelings for Lily and for you. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense, and i started realizing how i truly feel. I used Lily as a distraction from the one person I actually loved, because I didn't know how to deal with those feelings. Because the truth is, I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I had fallen in love with my best friend... I love you y/n. It's always been you." He wore a pained expression, "And im so, so sorry i didnt realize it sooner."

You stared at him in surprise, well that's definitley not what I thought he was gonna say.

He grew worried at your silence, "Please say something." He pleaded, which seemed to pull you out of your stupor.

"Broomstick polish, cologne, and freshly cut grass", you stated.

He squinted in confusion, "What?"

"That's what I smelled in the Amortentia.. It smelled like you." He opened his mouth in surprise and you continued, "I love you James. I've loved you for so long, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say you feel the same way."

James' face brightened, and he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. When he pulled away from it, you noticed how close his face had gotten to yours, and it seemed james did too. He slowly moved his hand to grasp the side of your face, body moving closer as he placed his other hand on your waist.

"Can i kiss you?" He whispered.

You nodded, feeling heat rising up your neck and closing your eyes in anticipation. You felt his face inch closer, and he softy placed his lips on yours. Your hands immediately threaded through his dark curls, and you kiss him harder. You feel him pushing you back against the wall, the hand on your cheek moving down to your collarbone.

The kiss started to get a little more heated, but then you hear a voice across the corridor, causing you and James to separate and look toward the source of the noise.

"Ah! So dinner and a show!" Sirius laughed, Remus and Peter chuckling next to him.

"Oi, shove off" James says, smiling at them.

"But seriously, we're glad to see you too catching up again." Remus added.

"Thank you guys", you say fondly.

You look back at James, "I'm glad too.” you grinned at him softly before looking back at the group, “Alright can we go to the Great Hall now, I'm starving."

Sirius chuckles, "I didn't think you'd be hungry after eating eachother's faces off"

"Shove it padfoot."

#marauder #hp marauders #young marauders #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #remus lupin #sirius black #harry potter #harry potter x y/n

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 3 years

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Heaven in Hiding

Hello everyone, it's @sasageyowrites 's birthday today and this fic in my queue is dedicated to her and only her. This is my gift to you sweetheart, sweet 17 I love you dearly. On another note I used some line breakers here because I wanted to see how they worked don't mind me I might remove them later on

Pairing: Dabi/reader

Summary: Dabi finds himself unable to get out of your shadow and in despairate need to provide for your and your daughter's safety you confront him, forbidding him of ever being able to lay his eyes on you or your baby

Warnings: Stalking I guess, I mean typical Dabi stuff you know..

Dabi wasn’t a stalker. At least that was what he tried to tell himself in any case he’d come to believe that very statement.

The wind was chilling, blowing his hair anywhere on his face, much like the endless amount of tree leaves that swayed everywhere around him. He glanced around, noticing the first specs of snow had already started to fall down following the sudden harsh blow of air.

He huddled inside the neckline of his black hoodie, his face mask shifting obnoxiously over the metal staples that held the skin of his cheeks together. His black windbreaker jacket did almost nothing to cover him from the excessive cold wind that blew; not that he was any close to freezing -it was more of the opposite- but he’d always feel that tingling sensation of the frozen metal bars on his burned skin. They scorched on his burn even further that he could ever want to admit, but by now he was used to the pain.

Most of the trees around him were stripped off of their leaves, their thin boles put to display for him and any bystander. The clouds were covering most of the sky, only a few tiny specks of baby blue peaked form underneath them, yet they were quickly vanishing under the mellow snowy clouds. In that moment Dabi knew, the enormous sunglasses he wore to hide his undereyes only made him look more suspsicious.

Not that he didn’t look like a fly in a full glass of milk to begin with.

The glass doors before him opened automatically, the red motion monitor beeping in his eyes as the sound of a bell rang once he entered the convinience store. The medium height stalls laid neatly before him, the colors of the numerous products almost catching his attention. He shook his head as if wanting to come to his senses, his attention span traveling back to his person of interest, the person he followed all the way to this store.

Glancing around the store, his eyes quickly met with the security camera view screen. Teal orbs paced maniacally, traveling back and forth between the numerous small windows until they were met with what they were looking for. His feet marched before he could even think, mechanically even, pacing quickly towards the direction he had instantly memorised, much to his demise.

He had to stop himself from grunting just before his body movements came to an halt. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket he sank his face deeper into his hoodie, standing before the glass covered fridge isle, his eyes seemingly fixated on the multiple cartons of milk that lead before him.

When your hand went for the matte metallic handle of said door Dabi found himself mimicking your action, putting his best effort into trying not to raise any suspision. You didnt seem to pay him any mind; as your hand extended further you hesitantely grabbed onto a powder blue carton, carefully placing it into the wheeled basket that was standing down before you.

You probably didn’t care about anyone around you; Dabi figured out that much while noticing you hadn’t even threw a glance in his direction over all the time the had been watching you. Secretly he restented just how much you minded your own business, it came to the point you were naively ignoring your surroundings completely. He knew exactly what you were thinking about; no one cared to bother with a random bypasser like you, but at least he hoped that after your time with him you’d come to understand the way criminal minds worked.

He chuckled to himself as he thought about giving you the least some credit. This was a nice neighborhood, a very well lit part of the town, accentuated in beautiful cherry blossoms that bloomed in spring, filled with numerous families as well as residents of a few of the top ten heroes. This place seemed to be inaccessible to murderous, bloodlusty villains such as himself.

At first it had seemed unreal that you were alive, free of any mark. He had thought he'd gotten the wrong person, still stuck over the fact that he couldn't do much to save you, one of the few people he had cared about in this world, but he was soon convinced, as he witnessed your meeting with Midnight, that this was in fact you, alive and well.

Yet, here he was. Following you around for God knows how many days now, obsessed with the fact that it was you that lived a careless life before his very eyes. For the most part he had tried to deny it, to convince himself that he had gotten completely insane and delusional. And he had wanted for that assumption to be correct. Because he had, or rather, he had thought he had, watched you die a horrible death, engulfed in acid, screaming in agony as it burned through your skin and bones.

And as if that wasn't an earth shattering shocker, it had to be that you were always seeming to be carrying a child with you.

Dabi wasn't dense and he wasn't lucky either. The child was around a year or so, he had figured, adorned with a set of tealy baby blues and (h/c) hair, save for her front bangs and the hair above her ears and nape. As much as he'd like them to be any other color -because, truly, such fact could actually justify the disgusting and full of jealousy throbbing in his heart every time he laid his eyes on the two of you- they shone a bright fiery red.

(H/c) bangs curtained your face as you bowed your head down, giggling as you brought your forehead to bump into a smaller one. Dabi watched as your eyes creased and squinted as a big beam was plastered on your face, your nose coming to bump on the baby’s button one. He almost smiled, sincerely even, at the interaction, though a pinch inside his chest prevented him from doing so. He couldn’t help but stop and stare, unsure of whether he looked dumpfounded or not.

“We got your milk Saku, yay!” you cheered, receiving a small squeal in response from the infant.

His fingers idled with the carton that fell under his hand, a small pink and brown carton, marked with the enormous words of any irrelevant label. His eyes fixated on it, quivering as ever, his thoughts mocking him as to whether he could try and dare to take another glance in your direction. His gut though churned, burning his insides in what seemed like an endless torturous bloodlust. Taken aback, his gut chirped, his throat seemingly forming a loop, preventing him from being able to take another breath. And.if he were to be honest, in the moment he needed one.

The anxiety rushing through his veins worked its wonders on him, raging dangerously towards his face, burning everything in its way. That disgusting antic was back, the obnoxious nervous smile he couldn’t rid himself off formed on his face under his mask. He wanted to slap himself it, yet it was hard to do so before you, it could potentially blow his cover and cause a scene that he didn’t want to in the store. As much as he loved causing mayhem, this wasn’t the time for it.

As the baby chirped, fidgeting her small open fists through your hair, he came to officially convince himself on his involvement with her. Blue springles emitted from the tips of her fingers and immediatelly the discomforting odor of burnt hair filled the air. And damn, did Dabi hate that smell.

“Baby, don’t burn mommy’s hair.” you smiled, stealing a glance in Dabi’s direction as you spoke, taking him aback by the sudden action.

Why was his heart speeding up in such demonic pace though? You probably didn’t even do so on purpose. Thinking that you were actually aware of his presence around you shouldn't be as unsettling as it seemed in the moment, in the end you were bound to notice the black clothed figure following you everywhere like a second shadow, weren’t you? Did he really think you were that stupid?

Sighing to himself he turned on his feet, proceeding to walk in the opposite direction of the one which you walked towards. He couldn’t stand being in this store anymore, his blood boiled at the thought of what he was actually doing. It was safe to say that he really did despised what he had turned into, but there was no going back. Picking up his feet, he exited the store, the chocolate milk still in his hand, burried in the inside of his sleeve.

Damn, he needed to smoke a cigarette or ten.

Dabi didn't know how many hours he had spent in the park across your apartment building; frankly he had lost all track of time and albeit having witnessed the sun set, he was unable to pinpoint how long ago the phenomenon had take place.

Snow fell down in big white blotches, littering his black windbreaker before it melted down into the fabric, only to pushed back out of its surface in the form of steam. His body was churning, the burnt skin that was held by the staples in certain areas practically oozed in tiny specs of blue cremating fire, the fleece fabric of his hoodie protesting as it ceased to exist. At this point he knew he was going to burn his clothes down if he kept staring at your windows and this wasn't his fireproof villainous attire, nonetheless he didn't feel as if his legs could move according to what his brain commanded. Nor did he feel as if he could control his own self.

When he'd think about pushing a leg forward in order to take leaping step, you'd come to the window he had a good view on and stroll around the room, always accompanied by the silhouette of the infant in your embrace and all Dabi was left with consisted of his ability to hide inside his hood or rather, his inability to get himself out of the situation. He secretly liked the way you hadn't pulled the curtain all the way across the window, whether it was intentionally or not -he didn't care to know of- he just enjoyed that he could get that tiny glimpse of you and Saku -or at least, that was the only thing he'd ever hear you call her.

Dabi wished that it wasn't so quiet, he wished he hadn't been able to hear it, but now that he had, he couldn't help but feel a little swirling bulb of bitter jealousy forming in his lower stomach. Yet was what assuring for a second was terrifying in the next; he'd never seen him around your house, or rather, he'd never seen you and him interact in any way. The only thing he knew was that you probably had many gives and takes with the heroes, a thing that put his mind to work harder than it ever should have been.

For a fragment of a second teal eyes meet with obsidian ones, forrowed straight brows met taller thinner ones. Dabi felt belittled as he stared at the male across the street who seemingly stared right back at him but he held himself back from letting out a surprised whimper as a reaction to recognising the man.

Aizawa Shouta, Eraser Head, was standing underneath the main door of your apartment complex, his fingers lingering with what Dabi had memorized to be your doorbell. The ravenette watched as you perked up, your silhouette passing by the familiar window as you paced and only a few moments later the familiar buzz of your intercom rang through the air.

He was confused. Confused beyond a sane point. Maybe that's why he had decided to stick around. Maybe, as he told himself so, you were just a mystery he wanted to solve.

"Thanks for coming." You smiled as soon as you opened the door, your batting eyes falling into the ravenette's stoic ones.

"Don't bother thanking me," Aizawa raised his palm, closing his eyes as he softly signed you to stop "I saw him, you know."

"He hasn't left that spot in the park for hours actually." You confirmed.

A deep sigh left your chest, your brows furrowing as your face fell in a despairate and miserable expression. The corner of your lip twitched and your jaw quivered as your soft pieces of flesh pressed together, a series of actions that Aizawa didnt fail to notice, yet he idled in his spot, his feet bowing slightly as he proceeded to take his shoes off. Once done, his feet mechanically marched towards you, his hands hesitantly coming to cup the tops of your shoulders.

The anxiety in your stomach leaped, throwing hellish boulders in the walls of your intestines, trying to hurt you enough so that you could come to your senses. But your mind protested on what you had decided on, fighting back with every breath you took. Your heart throbbed inside your chest, begging to spill through your ribs in mushy gashes, your throat was dry was you stared at Aizawa with wide eyes.

"Don't worry. I'm here." He spoke, sternly and before you managed to utter a words, making you squint your eyes shut.

Your hands came to hug around your form, the intense cold from outside finally finding its way inside your apartment and setting you as a target. It was now or never, you thought. The last few months ahead taken an enormous toll on you, Dabi's presence always being in your shadow was driving you insanse, filling you with rage and remorse.

He had no right to come after you and intrude on your personal life, yet you didn't know if you could try and not do the same were you in his place. But perhaps that was just an excuse you were making because you resented yourself for ever being involved in the ways you had with him.

You looked up at Aizawa, the inches that separated you, giving you a good lower view of his face. His heavy eyebags resembled his in a way you couldn't explain, his obsidian eyes that stared into yours with assurance -that was the look of a hero who had come to your rescue- yet you couldn't help but compare it to Dabi's ominus, cold glare, damn even the long messy onyx hair screamed Dabi to you and you hated it.

You hated that you could see him anywhere. Whether it was your imagination, dreams or real life, Dabi was always there, hiding in the shadow in the most prominent, ironic way, mocking you for your past choices, staring at your daughter maniacally with eyes so wide that were raged with manic.

Every night you felt like pulling your hair off your scalp, you felt like clawing your face until you ripped your skin or screaming to the walls until they fell down and came apart; you could feel Dabi's eyes on you on whatever actively you were set to do, even sleeping and in occasional fear of being cremated on your sleep.

This was the time to take action and if anyone could help you not get burnt into ashed that was Aizawa Shouta.

"He probably won't try anything funny with you here Shouta. Sakura is asleep but you can have her relax in your arms if you fear that I'll take long." You said rushing to get your combat boots out of the shelf you had them stored.

"Out of all people, did you really have to have a child with Dabi, (y/n)?" Aizawa playfully remarked, yet you furrowed your eyebrows as his expression failed to match with his tone.

You simply sighed back to him, closing your eyes in embarrassing defeat, your chest was run by a sudden chill, causing your body to absurdly perk up and Aizawa huffed through his nose in determination.

"Maybe you should wear a coat." He suggested.

"It's fine," you spoke back playfully "I actually like being cold.

Your breath formed into fog as you exhaled and you watched it annihilate into thin freezing air, your eyes glimmering under the cold lights of the street lamps, your orbs quivering from the freezing cold. You unwrapped your hands from your form as you felt the cold take over you. It was absurdly refreshing, you thought, and immediately your brain protested over your irrational way of thinking, yet your gut was scorching and at least the snow falling on your hair and nose was providing you with some newfound comfort.

You wanted to pick up your pace, but your frozen legs ignored you, deciding to prolong your misery further, your toes going numb with each step you took closer to Dabi's direction. He didn't even flinch. Not even once. You wondered if you shall take another step towards him, the terror that run through you raged over the theory that Dabi was only trying to catch you off guard before he fried you alive.

Still, you focused your gaze on the small streak of smoke that bled out of his hoodie. Soon the smell of tobacco filled your almost too numb nostrils as the sound of Dabi's snarky breath filled your ears. It was criminally quiet tonight, though this street wasn't normally filled with people, many school kids would chose the park across your apartment to hang out after school or during the late hours of night, but seeing how bad the weather was tonight you could blame anyone for not chosing to freeze themselves to death.

Of course, Dabi and you were two of a kind.

"Care to share a cig with me?" You spoke with determination, managing to let out a small hint of teasing in your voice to mask your fear.

"You actually practiced that line or something?"

Dabi chuckled in your direction although you could listen to the dryness in his tone. His hood covered head didn't turn in your direction just yet but his hand reached for one of his pockets, then leaping into another, taking short anxious movements, perhaps, you though, to throw you off. You were though sure Dabi could practically smell fear and if that was true whatever he was doing, he was doing it to mess with you, you knew how he much loved corruption or how he enjoyed the reek of fear from a few of his victims.

"Don't twitch like that, I'm just looking for my pack."

There it was. Yeah. Of course he was messing with you. Great, he was going to kill you weren't he now?

Dabi shift uncomfortably in his eat on the snow drenched bench, his hip bones clashing with the hard wood beneath him but he pushed through the discomfort he was feeling because now he was facing you.

Your jaws were clashing furiously, the hoodie you were wearing was probably doing nothing to keep you warm and for a moment he seriously thought about removing his windbreaker and tossing it over your shoulders, but he knew you wouldn't accept it, so he set on saving himself from the embarrassment.

Picking a hand out of one pocket he presented you with the small carton that held a couple of cigarettes and you didn't miss a chance on grabbing one, not even giving it a second thought. Looking around, you realised there was no lighter in sight and you sighed as Dabi offered his pointer finger, the digit adorned with a sheer blue coowling crown and naively you bowed down, taking a drag as the fire touched the edge of the cigarette.

You didn't bother thanking him as a constipated expression masked your face, your hands coming to rest under your bust just in case you'd ever get tired of holding your cigarette with your lips.

"Care to sit down?" Dabi remarked and you absurdly turned your head in the opposite direction, taking a drag through the filter, the stinky taste of nicotine filling your tingling on your taste buds.

"No, Dabi. You know why I'm here. I can't deal this anymore."

"You can't deal living without me little mouse?" He snarled, his hands quickly working on replacing the smoked cigarette that hung from his lips with a fresh one.

"Dabi I'm serious." You said, squinting your eyes "This is driving me insane. Did you really think I wouldn't notice you?"

Despite your tone suggesting that your question wasn't rhetorical, Dabi made no effort to even part his mouth to reply.

"Care to tell me what you want from me?"

Silence. Dabi looked at you as if you were speaking in a language he couldn't recognise, as if your words fell deaf to his ears.

"Dabi, I'm not going to beg for my life if that's what you want, and I don't appreciate that you're trying to entertain your psychopathic kinks." You said, voice below your normal pitch, indicating the small hints of fear that came with your intuition.

"Is she mine?"

The question hit you like a truck. Shaking, you couldn't help but feel like a deer blinded by the headlights, your blood running cold in your veins. Could you truthfully answer that without setting yourself and your daughter in danger? Stealing a glimpse of your window you vaguely made out Aizawa's silhouette and your heart warmed at the soothing reassurance that came with the action.

"Would it matter for you to know? What would it change?"

"Wouldn't you want to know if you had a little bastard marching astray?" Dabi monotonously remarked, making your stomach growl with rage.

"Sakura isn't a dirty stray dog, you're in no place to talk about her like that, not when you don't know what I went through for her." You raged, your eyes glowing with anger as you burned holes in Dabi's teal orbs.

So that was the name you had given her- Sakura- a plain overused name with a beautiful meaning, Dabi could atone for the fact that he liked it. Nevertheless, he stared at you, his lips puckered together in a determined manner, his cigarette never leaving the right corner of his mouth.

"Hit a nerve, little mouse?"

"Stop calling me that Dabi." Upon snarling you stomped your foot to the ground.

"How should I call you? I don't think I caught your actual name."

Dabi was bitter and he had every right to be, or so he told himself, he felt enraged to look in your direction, yet so speak to you and to top it all his stupid, idiotic feet were shaking and he didn't feel like he could get up, he could only stand there and stare at you, but this was unlike any other time. This time you were staring right back at him (e/c) orbs burning holes into the back of his brain.

But he wasn't going to give in, despite whatever he felt, he wouldn't give in to how soft he viewed you as, he wasn't going to give in to how your familiar smell filled his nostrils or how his heart set at an orbit of its own due to your eyes in his. Anxiously, he took another drag of his cigarette before taking a look towards your window, making out Eraser Head's silhouette in the dim light.

"I won't try to kill you, by the way, you didn't have to bring your friend over."

Your expression hardened as Dabi mentioned Aizawa, your heart skipping a beat as your eyes immediately fell in his direction once again.

"You don't have to obsess over Shouta as well."

"Ah, already on first name basis? With a man that much older than you and here you are calling me Dabi?" He whined playfully, but still his feet wouldn't move.

"What I do in my life is none of your business, you don't have any right on me because you knocked me up-"

"So she is mine."

If you could, you'd wipe that smug look that was immediately plastered on his face, but you knew better and you hated that you did. You knew that he smiled like that when he was in discomfort, you knew that he couldn't move from the spot he was seated on, you could still see through him and it killed you, it killed you because on one hand you were utterly afraid of what he could do to you and on another you wanted to bring a palm to his face and call him by his name.

"Look Dabi," you sighed in defeat "to answer any of your questions, Sakura is your daughter and I brought Shouta here because I'm afraid you're here to kill us. How am I supposed to know you're not playing dumb with me because you want to kill me?"

Dabi quirked a brow at you, bringing his hand to the top of his hood and pulling it down, his hair tousling in the air. "Can't I just be amazed that you're living a careless life when you're supposed to be dead?"

You averted your eyes from his in shame, your body shivering slightly for a brief moment. "I was supposed to take down small nameless criminals Dabi. I fake my death so I could get out of there with my ass saved."

"I should kill you, you know, I've entrusted you with very significant information about me." Dabi growled, his fingers starting to springle in the tiniest specs of cobalt.

Despite watching them dance before you, your gut felt numb and you could thank the freezing cold for that, but you didn't feel the growling eruption of fearful anxiety grow inside you anymore.

"Well it was your fault that you trusted me enough to tell me your name and purpose, but I won't spill the beans on you. Unless..." You prompted, finally taking a seat next to Dabi, your thigh merely brushing against his own.

"Unless?" He inquired, intrigued as ever.

"Unless you leave us alone, Touya." You whispered the name below the sound of a breath, making sure no one around you could hear, yet Dabi quivered by the sound, his eyes glued on your lips. "The truth is, I don't want you associated with Sakura. How will the world treat her if they find out she's the daughter of a serial killer?"

"I... I just." He hesitated.

"You what? If your villain friends know about her they're going to come after us, being a single mother is fucking me up already, give a girl a fucking break Dabi."

You were dumbfounded by how bold you were getting and you only had yourself to blame, cornering the villain felt dangerous and endearing at the same time, his otherwise dominant behavior had crumbled in only a few tiny seconds and between them you had managed to call the shots and push all the right buttons, corrupting your way into the point you wanted to make.

It was true, during your time working undercover to take down small criminals you had indeed picked up on the way criminal minds worked. And in moments like these you used it to your advantage.

"Can I just see her once?"

His tone took you aback, sending your eyes to spread wide as a surprised expression masked your face. His voice was pleading and small, soft and intruding poking you to spare him with any pity you had in you. Shaking your head, you came to your senses, finally aware of the fact that your thigh was pushed against his.

With a shagged breath you made a move to get up but you were forced into the cold bench once again by Dabi's hand, the sound on shifting filling the air as you growled on your spot.

"You don't get to tell me what to do little mouse." He barked, his digits digging into the skin of your thigh almost painfully. "I want to see my daughter. How come that hobo of a man can see her when I can't."

"Dabi, I just explained why I don't want you around her."

"I have every right don't I?" He asked.

"Actually, you have no right, you're a serial killer Dabi, you shouldn't have any right, the only reason as to why I can't arrest you right now is because all I have are this stupid healing quirk and that I have no license to do anything to you. Now if you go in to my house, Shouta isn't going to go soft on you."

Dabi growled in his seat, his hand leaving your thigh as he maniacally went to light another cigarette, this time the small spec of fire dancing on his quivering finger.

"This is a warning, stop stalking us." You sighed and brought your palms over your knees with a slap before straightening them to stand up.

"Wait-" Dabi said as he watched you take a few steps away from him, his head extending to your direction. "If- if you heal me, will I be able to see her then?"

You didn't dare turn around to face him, instead you hugged your chest, taking in a deep breath as you lowered your head to stare at your shoes. The voice inside your head was hot and sweet and it bowed to your natural instinct as a healer, somewhere deep inside your chest you felt as if that in a way it could work. But even if you took away what made Touya Dabi then would he really ever atone for all his sins? You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep with both eyes closed if he were to be by your side, his ideals weren't just something he could give up just because he would leave his appearance behind.

"Look, Touya, I really like Shouta, please don't ruin this for me." you whispered, your voice raspy but you never managed to turn to him. Whether your statement was a lie or not was up to Dabi to decide.

"No wait."

You didn't respond to his call out. You simply hugged your chest tighter, pressing your breasts with your cubits as you took fast steps towards your apartment complex.

You chose to ignore the fittings that you heard behind you, the commotion he was causing coming second to the way your heartbeat annoyingly pulsed in your ears. When Dabi's palm hazed over you you heaped, your breath cutting short and consequentially being trapped inside your weary lungs.

"I'd never hurt a mother and a child." Dabi gulped, his fingers being moments away from brushing over your clothed skin.

But you didn't care, you simply lowered your shoulder, throwing your collarbone forward in an attempt to escape the upcoming contact of his body with yours. You set your feet to work, rapidly and uncarefuly sliding through the snow as you tried to get away.

And once again all Dabi could do was stop and stare. You didn't care about the churning in his gut, you didn't give a damn about the ashes of his heart either, there was no heaven in hiding for him, just this bitterweet taste of tobacco in the buds of his tongue, and the unbearable stinging in his eyes. All he was left with was his wish to see you and Sakura again.

And maybe he could do that. He just needed to become a silent shadow.

#dabi x reader #touya x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #dabi my hero academia #dabi x you #dabi is touya #dabi #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #x reader #dabi is hot #dabi is a todoroki #dabi is a little shit

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classiccheesecake · 2 years

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i cant count but like i think Im having more sages in my au than what oot hasss but like ミ ᕕ(ᐛ) ᕗ idk if I mentioned but i like sages so like sages are a part of the au now ;v;; and I think a sage for each race is swag so this is what I have Delie Ravio Impa some random minish some random zora some random goron some random gerudo some random rito some random skull kid some random fairy :D okay post gets long so uh weeeeeee ٩(´•⌢•｀ )۶⁼³₌₃

okay okay uhhh so like theres two main like time key frames in my au kinda like oot where Time gets the master sword and everything went to shit same here Dream tries to get the master sword (and does an epic fail) Ravio gets killed aaa and Delie just goes poof since like before Dream and Ravio went to get the master sword Delie and Dream had a really heated argument but in a nutshell Delie was not believing that Dream was a hero and basically just being super in denial that there was a master sword (hm kinda sus miss girl) so Dream was like ight bet I'll prove it to you but Ravio is like uh prettyyyy sure you arent ready (at this point Dream has freed all the heros but he's still missing one orb but he doesnt know that dkjcnhfbgjhc) and that sets up the 2nd half of the au where its Dream searching for Ravio (hes somehow convinced that they made it out alive) and Delie so this is also the part of the au where Delie goes out and meets Impa :D and they both set out on a journey to find out wtf is happening (so like Delie also freeing the princess's spirits and finding out that hyrule was not just something her dad made up but was real woahh shocker ) okay uh Ravio next so I knowww that I kinda killed them off but dw they are actually vibing back in Lorule uh this makes total sense skljdhcbhcfnbg I just thought it would be cool if like the heros of lorule and hyrule like since they are reflections die at the same time and if one of them dies like earlier than expected they get reincarnated (so like mayhaps this explains why you can restart after a game over screen since ravio over there is just chilling and uh .. not dying xD) but heres the catch ravio did get reincarnated but uh idk i dont have an explanation they are young again and dont remember shit from their past life (like helping Dream or his quest) in their past life Hilda sent them to aid Hyrule and help Dream and that led to years of their childhood just wasted trying to find the hero of hyrule (dream honestly just hid in his cave so it made ravio's job just 100x harder ;v;) and when Dream uses Legend's bracelet to travel to Lorule and he finds Ravio in a just blissful state, they are living the life in the castle with Hilda ;v; he doesnt want to even talk to them since hes scared that he would resurface any memories but Hilda is like ik they are baby but you must take them and Dream is like no >:v they are happy here and hilda goes ik dumbass I wish they could stay here but they are sage and therefore is needed to go back to hyrule >:v dream : :v

so now you have to protecc a 8 year old child (yeah we time skipped a lottt aaa) and hopefully not invoke any memories of their past life or else you will feel guilty :D yayyyyyy also Dream did have a sister until she died D: but Ravio's sister didnt die cuz like unlike Hyrule who is drowning in shit, Lorule just be vibing and is chilling so ravio's sister is just waiting... for them to come back and she doesnt even realize that her older sibling doesnt even remember her ;v; (since aryll's name in spanish is april thats gonna be ravio's sister name gosh ik im so clever/j slkjdchbgjdhcnbfghducbfg) and alsooooooo instead of having like a lorulean ver of the master sword, why not swap the weapons and have a master bow and a light sword in lorule so Dream now has an even bigger to do list

Link's To Do List Updated Version

Find all ded heros ★ Git master sword Find Ravio ★ Find Delie Find Impa Sages are now a thing Find Master Bow and more incoming shit that gods will make me do I already explained like Impa's up bringing and she would like bring peace to both of the yiga and shekiah tribes while helping Delie reawaken like Ravio did with Dream uh ... I dont got much else for her at the moment xD MINISH SAGEEEE AAA they are so smol so imagine a feisty lil minish who would beat you the fuck up if it werent for the tiny size yet shes like the most emotional person Dream would meet like she would beat up your ass, then admire the sunset and cry in the same minute and she rides Dragonflies so like I have to name her Dragonfly isnt that epic aaaa shes like the tough mom love friend and would absolutely bake Dream pies aaaa she just saw Dream being super hungry and lost and led him to a minish portal and fed him once they got to her lil house and she helped him find Four's temple ik that apprently the rito came from like the zora further down the line so like what if the zora had a civil war and they split up one became the rito and the other started to become like the zoras you would find in hyrule and legend's time so we got a zora sage named Nelly and she is super into hylian stuff and glady lets Dream into Zora's Domain (which is just a swamp at this point since like the reason the zora are enemies in the downfall timeline are because of the lack of communication between them and the hyrule kingdom and since there isnt a kingdom now thats what the civil war was about, the side that still wanted to try and communicate with hylians is the rito and the zoras are the ones who didnt but this happened like over centuries ago so Nelly is just a descendant of those who fought) and they are super hyper about just meeting Dream saying how he is the first hylian is the first one ever she has seen and they just ramble about incorrect facts about hylians like "didya know that hylians can only run for short periods of time until they faint? my grandpa swears it's true! such lazy peoples" so Nelly gibs Dream some zora costume so that he can blend in and shenanigans ensue uh I got nothing for gorons or gerudo (aside from the fact that the gerudo's desert froze and you need the rods of seasons and the sage is a badass mother who gives Dream a shit ton of sweaters since that old poncho isnt doing anything) and the rito cant fly so the sage is a lil boy who is filled with rage and tries his hardest to fly, and I got nothing for fairyrn okay okay I actually think im super smart for thinking about this but instead of having a kokiri being a sage why not let a skull kid take the stage for once? :D okay so Dream and kid Ravio (o ye when dream looks for the sages its after the timeskip so ravio would be smol) and they enter the lost woods and get ambushed by the kokiri who are determined to legit burn Dream since hes responsible (not really xlkcfhbu) for so many kokiri and young children to be turned into skullkids since he let ganon take control of the lands like before he was born dkjhcbgjcd so the kokiri are just children filled with murder intent but they are like super kind to ravio and offer them tea and while some are restraining dream the rest of the kokiri are like "hey uhhh *sweats* dont look at that we are just playing tag! yeahhhh anyways wanna some cookies?" towards ravio and the burning is about to start until a kokiri stops them and its set up in a way that you would go oh she must be the sage cool but haHAHAH you were fooled for a sec cuz shes not the sageee a skullkid isss uh no idea how to introduce her just know that she starts with lost of angry towards Dream then comes to realize that its not his fault that she became a lost child and vows to help him and tada sage :D O also would like to mention that the kokiri and the skullkids have the same masks like the kokiri have the leaf mask like the koroks and the skullkids have the same leaves mask but they are more wilted so they both look unsettling but they are sweet

children ;v; also since the kokiri have been wearing masks for so long they dont have faces anymore kinda like their skullkid brethren but they decided to carry the burden with them uh yeahhhh thats all I have for now :D uh if you made it this far, I genuinely thank you and pls have this cookie :D!!

#im on like three hours of sleep and a hell lot of milk tea and I think that these are good sage ideas ;v;#hero's reminiscence #uh yeeeeeeee this took me like a hour oh gosh time went woooosh #idk what else to put here xD uh hello there lskdjnchcfnhubg

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blacktinnedpeaches · 2 years

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today -

1. annoyingly i have to pay £200+ in national insurance contributions this week, bc my profits were over 6k btwn 2020-21, and there’s no amount of creative accounting that can get them below that number lol. really annoying bc i didnt have to pay last year and im p sure they still were in 2019-20 as well. next year is gonna be a fucking nightmare w/ all the additional ch/ess money tbh. (like an extra £4000) i would be more annoyed + upset about this but after ana’s 6k extravaganza i dont think i have the right anymore hahahahah

2. yesterday i had the most awkward experience with a postman that im still thinking about. i had booked a collection, but i was expecting the woman we usually get, so i was already a bit confused when i opened the door to just see a ginger man in a hi-vis vest. and to make matters worse he just shouted at quite significant volume “BUENOS DIAS!!!!” and i was literally just so baffled that i said nothing, not even like “haha hello”, stood absolutely silently while staring at him, and we both just sort of stared at each other in excrutiating silence until he went, “er, collection?” at which point i realised what was going on and recovered my faculties somewhat. i just cannot overestimate the bafflement i felt at being shouted at “BUENOS DIAS!” upon opening my door

3. im feeling a bit “argh” about cancer again, ive got some very mild pain that comes and goes in my left boob, but it’s the week before my period so like... yea... not exactly a shocker. (cant feel any lumps either) i really need to send back the forms about the genetic predisposition to breast cancer that i may well have (everyone on my mum’s side gets it) but there is this really unhelpful mental block that i have about it. im really frightened to step any further into the cancer world. and it’s genuinely so silly, because of hereditary cancers, breast cancer is one of the better ones to have. like i would be happy to get a mastectomy at some point, i would be happy to get an oophorectomy at some point, i would be happy to get yearly mamograms, i would be happy to be vigilant, and all this shit means that unless i got incredibly unlucky i should be ok. like my mum has had breast cancer twice, both times caught really early bc of her gung-ho approach to it, and is now in her 60s and still (that we know of) cancer free, never needed chemo or anything like that. so like - it doesnt have to be a death sentence. and i KNOW that! but there is just this terror of engaging w/ it :/

i’ve actually filled the forms out apart from one section - my weight - which is another massive mental block. i think genuinely im just gonna make up a number. but yea all i need to do is scan them / send a copy to my doctor / and send them back to the genetics unit in birmingham. and that’s IT. and then they decide what they should do w/ me. id be astonished if they didnt think yearly mammograms were appropriate tho - altho idk if they do them this young, i think my mum started at like 40

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munamania · 2 years

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just because im watching an emotional scene. im going to rant about my father now. apologies

he’s insane. sooo right we have mice. shocker. he’s kinda somewhat willing to take care of the traps thank god. but there is literal blood like mouse remains under our sink that he just. didnt wipe up. and i was like hey uh dad. were you gonna like. get that. (yk bc a normal person would probably like wipe it up naturally after taking care of it.) and he was like what do u and your mother have some kind of problem ive told her a million times that she cant take boxes out to the mudroom and she needs to just bring them to me and i was like ok. so what does this have to do with the literal mouse guts though.

and he was like well if she’s gonna be like that im not taking care of it and i was like ok word well thats not a productive way to think abt anything (barely holding back going insane bc this is how it’s been in this house for a billion years) and he said well im not gonna be productive if shes just gonna be counterproductive

he frequently blames us. mostly my mom but both of us. for this house being so shit. my mom has literally had three foot surgeries in the last few years like she was not mobile and he didnt give a fuck abt helping her out like she’s fallen and we had a new puppy right after the one surgery and he just didnt take care of it so that she wouldnt have to get up yk. he is RETIRED!!!!!!

and furthermore he only takes care of the outside of the house like the yard and whatever. my mom (and i) do the cleaning if it can ever get done. we’ve had a broken cupboard door for years. he frequently leaves pots on the stove until literal mold grows on them if we dont get them. we had a leaky pipe that made our kitchen cupboard disgusting for years and rendered half of the sink unusable and if we said anything about it he’d scream at us for using the sink lol. we cant leave our fucking toilet water running rn lest it like flood the basement and he refuses to get it fixed. so! we have to only turn it on if we can while using it or fill up a bucket to flush

this is not even digging into his health issues that have caused this house and our furniture to be. godawful shit constantly. and the amount of money it’s wasted. and the amount of money he keeps away from my mother.

meanwhile im supposed to just be like. what normal? toward him? try to have a normal relationship? a healthy one somehow? he has the emotional capacity of a three year old. and all of this is just. like. idk. i have to just not argue with anything otherwise he starts yelling and i get like sooooo anxious so. did i mention one time we didnt speak for a week. and one time i literally went to my uncles house bc he was talking to me like i was 5 years old over something stupid and wouldnt just let it go. and i just sobbed and tried to call my mom. typing this all out sounds insane anyway i remember i had this insane callout last year like that’s my bad truly but that was on a day where i was a total airhead bc i had a huge fight w my dad so misdirected um energy idk. whatever lolololol

it’s hard bc. he does take care of us kids yk. financially. and i know he somehow in his own little ways like........... loves us. so i feel guilty constantly for not trying more but like. what. idk

#abby talks #i might need to go back to therapy. my last therapist was chill but when it came to my dad she was just like #ah well he's a narcissist what can u do. like i mean. yes what Can i do bestie

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i-bring-crack · 3 months

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So crazy for Choi Jongin to have been the Priest of the Destruction Monarch like I never saw it coming. Okay I admit It was pretty ovbious but I was too focused on Haein and her mystery surround the true extent of her power, and what a shocker it turned out to be when Haein revealed herself to be the Dragon Emperor that It didn0t cross my mind until after her fight with newly God Jinchul, that Jongin might have been in on it. It could also explain why Haein's tracks had all been magically covered everytime she went out in disguise to meet with Jinwoo. Or how Haein had known about the strenght of the Ruler's vessels without going to the International Conference due to her sensitive nose. Although what struck me harder wasn't just both of them secretly mainting their power and origins with one another, but the fact that Jongin wanted to leave it all behind! All the wars atheyve fought for the past 99 timelines, and all the plans they had to conquer the world and finally kill the Rulers! Solely becuase of Yoonho!!

THAT, seeing Jongin stand on the side of the Rulers, with Yoonho who is supposed ot be the sucessor of the Beast Monarch, also stand next to him, and Esil closely following with Jinwoom little by little leaving the Monarch of Destruction being the last personwho didnt back own from the fight against the Rulers, I think thats definetly what made Haein finally snap, maybe Antares as well. Because they solely went back to the time when both of them were once again alone in their own lives struggling to survive, when the whole world was against them. It probably brough back memories of Antares having to fight against the Absolute Being's armies while he was just a small dragon, easily possesed by the fragments of darkness dwelling in his heart. And it likely brought back Haein those fears of being left alone again, but unlike her parents who died and were taken away from her, this time they choose to leave her, the people she cared about: Jinwoo, Jongin, Juhee, Jinchul, Yoonho. They all choose to leave her alone right as the fight with the Rulers is about to start solely because they no longer trust her. Which is untrue, all of them had their own reasons, and Jinwoo especially wanted to join the rulers just so that he could rewind time and choose to end this war in another way, but she doesnt know that, becuase she doesnt tell anyone that she is the successor until its too late. Until Jinwoo is already too sure that he has to kill the Dragon Emperor for him to back down, until she finally feels comepletely isolated that the Darkest Fragments start to corrupt her soul and she just becomes a simple void fro destructionm once again being a mere puppetter just like Antares once was when he became the Dragon Emperor.

And to think that Jongin NOW understands the past grief that the last Priest of Dragons felt upon seeing such a lonely soul try to destroy every single thing in it's path, again, its just magnificent, in the most catharthic way. He starts to realize that it wasnt Jinwoo who was her last lifeline, because she in fact knew and coped with the idea that maybe they might fight in the opposite endds of the war-- but no it was HIM who was the last string, because he of all people had always been there for her, like a priest, like her guildmate and her friend and her brother. He of all people should have been the most loyal, and yet, suprisingly enough, the ones that stood by her side at the end of the day was her oldest enemy. It speaks volumes man.

Man that Monarchs fight am I right?

Oh and the cake on top for Haein being that even until the very end she couldnt bring herself to kill Jinwoo, or Jongin, oh and how Jongin was just the one to play the biggest role in her 'death'. And how her small hesitance gave Jinwoo an opening to stab possesed Haein. Man thats brutal. But hey, at least they finally get to compensate for leaving her behind when the Outer God Battle starts. Because Haein so deserves to be wwalking out of that deathbed like the girlboss she is. And its also so fun seeing her interact with Kanae, especially when she had to be the one to take care of Haein until she fully recovered from the fight. Its amazing how their friendships started from one where they hate each other's guts, to where they acknowledge their shared pains and their duties as Monarchs, to them being each other's reason as to why they are alive and not 6 feet under. I hope we got to see more of them before the end honestly, but im happy we got those crumbs of Kanae in the Dragon Monarch's realm having the best love advice for Haein out of all the dragon generals lmaoo.

#delulu land #solulu land #solo leveling spoilers #cha haein destruction monarch au #choi jong in #baek yoon ho #kanae tawata #cha hae in #sl antares

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zorria · 4 years

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Merlin used Meliodas and Elizabeth (but mostly Meliodas)

Alright so 337 is out and with it comes a lot of new information. We learned that the voice is actually the lady of the lake aka the saint of chaos

Basically she gave Excalibur to king carfren (idk who that is if someone does please remind me) anyway Meliodas interupts her because he’s never heard of her before even with being alive for so many years. The reason is because Merlin hide that fact from all of the sins. (shocker lol) and then The lady of the lake talks about merlins past.

Where it’s revealed Merlin comes from a belianlin (which we already knew) but it revealed that it was a capital in Britannia that neither sided with the demons or goddesses. As they were used as weapons against higher ranked demons and goddesses. The children in this city who shows an apitude of magic were experimented on and used as test subjects. One of them born with a strong and unique magic was Merlin. Even though she wanted her fathers love and approval he never gave it to her rather he gave her a mountain of reading materials and tests to do.

Until one day she got sick of it and ran away but her persuers found her and started to attack her. She was almost caught until Meliodas saved her

He killed her persuers and was kind to her. By reaching out his hand in a gentle way. This kind action by Meliodas made Merlin fall in love with him as she has never felt this much love from anyone. However no matter how much time passed Meliodas never developed feelings for her (obviously I mean she was a child after all) so Merlin decided to use her magic to make herself an adult body to try and win over Meliodas’s affection to do that she stopped the time that coursed through her body.

However even with this change Meliodas never fell for her as he already found someone else. That someone was Elizabeth (of course) after Merlin found this out she became essentially bitter.

However Merlin couldn’t bring herself to hate Elizabeth or Meliodas. So she devoted her time to learning magic to try and fill the hole in her heart. In doing so she found out about chaos.

Now you might be asking who is chaos. Chaos is a power born among the ancient stars. With chaos it brought its first off spring. The SD, The DK and the sacred tree for the fairies. After their births. The DK created the demons and the demon realm, the SD created the Goddesses and the goddesses realm, and the sacred tree made the fairy realm and the fairies. Chaos also created two other races. The first being the giants. After chaos saw how barbaric the giants were it created the human race.

Through human nature (even though incomplete) they became the closest to chaos. The SD and DK grew jealous and worried that they would lose their clans to chaos. So they worked together to seal chaos away. After finding that out Merlin dedicated the rest of her life to bring back chaos. Because she thought if it came back her heart would be filled. So she formed the SDS to use them

To destroy the demon king as this was one of the requirements.

Diane hearing this gets really upset and says chaos doesn’t know a thing about them. (Which is true) chaos knows this is true however what she does know is that dabuzu of the giant clan forged the coffin of eternal darkness to seal the demons and goddesses away. She also tells us

That Merlin internationally stopped time to resurrect the demon king and she also re activated Elizabeth’s curse so Meliodas wouldn’t be able to reach his goal. (I’ll talk about that in a bit) and she drove the combo into the lake on purpose. It is also states that sealing away the DK and SD wasn’t enough one of them had to die. Ban realizes that Merlin knew the DK would use Mel’s body as a vessel. (He was quite angry about this good job ban way to look out for mel 💙) Anyway and she needed explosion magic to bring back Arthur. So that’s why she launched the combo Into the lake. (Zel was right she is a shrewd woman) hearing this mel gets super pissed (understandably) as she almost killed him, zel and Elizabeth to try and achieve her goal. Merlin tells him if Meliodas did take the curse away form eli his goal would’ve been achieved and he wouldn’t abandoned his mission to defeat the demon king and Merlin didnt want that so she brought the curse back. But she also did save eli several times (still doesn’t make it any less horrible you did that Merlin)

apparently chaos says “it should be no mystery hating someone so much you want to kill them but still love them... (I assume she either wanted to kill mel or eli or both) and then chaos ends with saying that they are all from different races and wonders if they will truly be able to understand one another.

Alright that’s what happened now for thoughts. MERLIN IS A PIECE OF SHIT!!! I’m sorry but she is she literally used all of them just to get what she wanted to feel closure cause Meliodas broke her heart. ITS NOT MELIODAS’S FAULT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ELIZABETH. Merlin is basically mael. Just this time with mel. (when you think about it hopefully it plays out better than mael) anyway Merlins basically being emo. What she wants to do now to mel or eli idk know but I do know is she just betrayed all of them. And just hurt Meliodas and Elizabeth very badly. Meliodas is obviously very upset right now and I knew she was going to hurt him. I just wish it wasn’t like this... I really started to like Merlin and now I’m starting to hate her. But also without her mel, zel and eli would be dead so would a lot of people Too so I’m very conflicted right now. All in all it was a chapter and I really enjoyed reading it (even though Merlin makes me very fucking mad right now).

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simplysaudade · 3 years

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My favorite movie as a kid was Harriet the Spy. So, it should come as no shocker that I wanted to become a journalist. I wanted to observe people and write about all their deepest darkest secrets. Because people always have something to hide.

Layers. Masks.

Manipulation is a tactic humans learn from an early age. Cry a little, and they'll hold you. Drop something, and they'll pick it up. Laugh, and they'll give you attention for hours just for the sake of hearing the sound.

As a child of a mother with Bipolar Depression, I learned to spot manipulation before the age of seven. I began to understand when children at my school were trying to guilt me into giving them the fruit on my lunch tray, or the swing at recess. I picked up on the subtleties when girls thought I shouldn't be friends with other girls. My intuition ripened and transformed me into a human lie detector. I could spot bullshit from a mile away, and I suffered for it.

The men my mom moved us in with were the easiest to disprove. I'd hear them introduce themselves and just give my mom this look. She'd learned to believe me by boyfriend number 5, "she gets this feeling, and she just hates them, and she is always right," but it didnt stop her from learning the hard way.

It did stop me though.

It built a barrier between me and the ability to trust. People make mistakes and we're supposed to forgive them, help each other grow, be understanding. But I was the only child of a single mother with a drug addiction and an inclination for bad men. Trust did not exist to me.

The older I got, the harder it became for me to build relationships. I was desperate for friendship- the kind of relationships where you've known each other since kindergarten and call each others parents mom/dad- but we moved around so much, I found that friends just seemed pointless.

No one in my life was ever permanent. They were all temporary, even family, because my marionette's strings were always in my mother's hands. So I began to lie.

I'm a great liar, I must confess. I told so many lies as a child, as a teenager, I could even convince myself they were the truth. I'd tell people what they wanted to hear when I moved to a new school. Make myself interesting enough that the popular kids want to know me, but not so interesting that I become a target for jealousy and bullying. I'd walk the line in order to find my "tribe," and I'd flourish.

When I finally put my foot down and planted roots in one location, I realized lying is a hard habit to break. I'd catch lies on the tip of my tongue and cringe, because now that I had cut my strings- I could find people who liked me for the real me. I could find people who'd stay. Lying doesn't build lasting relationships, so I couldn't do that anymore. I wouldn't.

Only the white lies still kept coming.

I don't think I realized that I've spent my entire life afraid of letting people all the way in, until I met you. I'm nearly thirty now, I don't feel the need to lie to make myself look cool anymore, but I've been building this fence around myself for so long, it's become a maze. At the slightest sign of conflict or mistrust, the walls grow ten feet higher. I'm shrouded in darkness, lost in the middle, and the demons snarl and gnash their teeth at me at every turn.

Then one day, there you were.

At first, it was just a soft glow of light beckoning me out of the center of my solitude. Then your voice began to sooth my demons to sleep. I found the closer I got to you, the brighter the light, and you lured me out of that maze with so much patience, that my doubts were silenced.

I planted all of my seeds of ugly in you, then watched as you watered and nurtured them. My bleak turned to sunflowers in your hands.

I did not fight, because I could not fight. I did not scream, because all I could do was smile. This, this is a feeling that I've only ever read about in books. You, you are an anomaly I'd never pictured existing. The combination to a lock I hadn't realized I needed opened.

In you, I found trust. And because of that, I found out what love truly looks like.

Love isn't chains, or tears, or war.

Love is peace. Love is easy. Effortless.

Love is this insane moment where my eyes meet yours and my soul whispers, "ah, there you are... there's home."

So why the hell are you temporary too?

#prose #mine #personal #temporary people #love #thoughts #12:53a.m.#words #spilled ink #bpd #trauma

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rosyrosethings · 5 years

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Harry doesn’t love Y/n anymore.

Okay so this is where Harry doesn’t love Y/n. He falls for someone else but then he realizes the person he left Y/n for was not worth it.

2k+ words

Y/n has been feeling like Harry has been distant and she didn’t like it. She’s been trying her best to hold on to whatever was there. But she thinks she held on too tight that whatever it was that was left of their love withered away. She tried to give him space because he’s been distant. by focusing on her work as an actress.

But Harry was always gone. He didn’t care what she did to try to bring back the love they once had. Leaving her at home by herself. Her anxiety getting worse and worse. She didn’t think Harry was cheating. She was just so scared that he’d leave her. Ever since Harry came back from tour. Things were so different. Harry would not let y/n cuddle him ‘too hot.” He’d say, even when it cold. He’d never listen when she tried to start conversation. He’d always busy himself with things.sxc

Nights and nights of this. Them not even talking to each other even though they’ve been together for 5 years. Y/n decided that she was gonna go out. With her friend Brianna. She needed some air she’s been feeling suffocated in this house especially since Harry was never here. Y/n texted Harry that she won’t be home tonight she’s gonna spend the night at Bri’s. He read it but didn’t even bother to reply. He always says he’s out working on the album or that he has ‘work to do.’ Y/n just continued to get ready to go out with her friend.

Y/n heard a horn honking. She knew it was Bri. She quickly left the empty home not wanting to be there without him. She got in the car with Bri.

“Are you ready to get wasted hun?” Bri asked excitedly. Y/n shrugged.

“Y/n I got you out the house to not think about him.” She said, Y/n sighed. “You’re right.” She mumbled. “Let’s go have fun.”

The club was fun. Y/n didn’t drink at all because all she could think about is going home to Harry. So she made Bri drop her off at her and Harry’s home. Which they left the club early because Y/n was just thinking about Harry the whole night. When Bri pulled up to Their driveway both of them noticed another car in the driveway.

“Who’s car is that?” Bri asked, y/n shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe Harry has a friend over.”

“I’m gonna stay out here, text me when it’s okay to leave. I just have a bad feeling.” Bri said, putting her car in park on the side of the road. Y/n didn’t think it was necessary but she didn’t bother telling to her to leave. So y/n got out the car and walked in the house. Y/n heard laughing coming from the dining area. Y/n walked over to the dining room. Seeing A cute candle lit dinner and Harry with Kendall. Her presence stopped the laughter. Both of them were enjoying themselves.their hands were connected across the table. Kendall stopped laughing and looked up at Y/n. Causing Harry to turn around. To make eye contact with Y/n for the first time in a while.

“I’m sorry.. I’m just gonna get my stuff and go. Please continue like I never existed.” She said, with a quick pivot. Y/n threw her heels off and quick ran upstairs to get her stuff. She grabbed one of the bags of luggage out the closet. Pulling out all her clothes just throwing them in the case.

“Y/n can we talk?” She heard. She looked up. Surprisingly she wasn’t crying.

“Ohh now you wanna talk? Months and months of pushing me away and now you wanna talk to me?” She laughed, she didn’t even look at Harry. She just continued to stuffed clothes in her bag.

“If you’re just here to tell me. You don’t love me anymore. Wowww that’s a shocker it’s obvious. You don’t even spend time with me. It’s obvious someone else has your heart and after being with you for five years. It isn’t me anymore you love anymore .” She said, trying to zip up the suit case she over packed.

“I never cheated on you..” he said, looking down at his hand as he leaned against the doorway.

“You fucking liar. Being in love with someone else is emotional cheating. But after tonight you’re free of me so go head and fuck your new girlfriend. I know you want to. You haven’t touched me in months.”

“Y/n please I didn’t wanna hurt yo-“

“I dIDNt wANt tO hURt yOU.” Y/n said in her mimicking voice making a funny face. Harry didn’t say anything. He felt horrible but he didn’t love Y/n anymore. He wish he did but when he saw Kendall over tour he couldn’t help but say Hi to her. After that the rest was history. Kendall has been such a good friend to Harry. He didn’t mean to fall in love with her. But he did. It was killing him that he was hurting Y/n. He wasn’t in love with her anymore but he did still love her. Y/n was his best friend even before he started dating her.

Y/n pushed passed Harry and took her over packed suitcase down the stairs. Harry following behind her.

“I’d be back for the rest of my shit tomorrow!” She yelled slamming the door shut. She rolled her bag to Bri’s car.

“What happen?” Bri asked as Y/n opened the back door to the car stuffing her suitcase in as she decided she’d sit in the back seat. Because she was too frustrated to go in the front.

“He’s in love with fucking Kendall Jenner and so we broke up.”

“That fucking asshole!” Bri said, as she pulled out the driveway driving to her home.

“Well Y/n we are gonna go home and listen to my breakup playlist and get drunk asl and you are gonna realize you don’t need him.” Bri said, but y/n wasn’t really listening. She was heart broken. The love of her life just said he didn’t love her anymore. She was honestly kinda lost. She had a movie premiere to go to in a couple weeks and she planned on taking Harry with her. But she can’t when she goes alone the world would know that her and Harry broke up.

Once they made it to Brianna’s home. Y/n immediately went to Brianna’s liquor cabinet.

“Alexa play Lizzo truth hurts.”

After Y/n got drunk and Alexa started to play the breakup playlist. Y/N and Brianna started to upload videos of them to their Instagram story. Lip syncing to all of the break up hits. From lizzo truth hurts, Ariana Grande boyfriend, to Whitney Houston I will always love you. Y/n knew the way she was singing in that video you could obviously tell that Y/n was single. But she didn’t care. She was so heartbroken that she couldn’t even cry but it did hit her. When she woke up in the middle of night to lay her head on Harry’s chest. But she looked around and realized she was in bed with Brianna and Harry wasn’t there. That’s when she cried until she fell alseep. She tried to get sleep because she had an PR interview for the movie tomorrow with Luke. She didn’t wanna show up looking tired and horrible.

But soon morning arrived and Y/n couldn’t help but feel like shit. Her eyes were swollen but luckily her makeup-artist helped with that on the set of interviews for the movie. Y/n finally had a free moment on set to check her phone and notifications were blowing up. Articles with the titles ‘DID Y/N AND HARRY BREAKUP?!’ Or ‘HARRY STYLES SINGLE?’ And texts from friends and family. Asking is she okay.

“Wow Y/n you look beautiful as always.” Luke said, causing Y/n to look up from her phone to see him there. Blonde curly hair and blue eyes. Cheeks freshly pink. Y/n always thought He was so cute. He was such a good friend to her also. Y/n sent him a small smile.

“And you look adorable as always.” She responded,

“What’s wrong?” He whispered to her. He could tell she was off. Usually Y/n would continue the conversation with Luke. Telling him how cute he would be if he grew his hair out or just asking him anything else to keep the conversation going. But he could also see in her eyes. That she was sad.

“How’d ya know I’m upset?”

“Hmm ya know filming with you for a six months and spending a lot of time with you. Soo when you think about it yYou’re kinda like my best friend. Soo i know when something wrongs with my best friend.” Y/n could help but crack a genuine smile at his response.

“Me and Harry broke up.” She said, Luke frowned at her. She knew she must have been sad. They were together for like 5 years.

“The worst part is. Our 6 year anniversary is in a few months and i already got his gift and I can’t return it.” She said, he knew she was going to cry. He could see it in her eyes.

“Hey how about we spend some time together me, you and Brianna? We could have a fun night and help you forget about him.. and I’d let you do my makeup.” He said, he whispered the last part. Her eyes lit up. She asked Luke thousands of times to do his makeup to see what he looks like as a girl because he was so adorable y/n thought he would be a really cute girl. He’d would always say no.

“Ohh my gosh yess! Sounds amazing to me!”

“Okay guys interview in 5. Get in your seats.” Y/n and Luke obliged to the command by the set coordinator. Soon the interviews started. Multiple different interviews all basically asking the same questions. Until they got to one of them interviewers names Rachel.

“So Y/n is it true that you’re single?” The question shocked Y/n she literally just broke up with Harry yesterday. Y/n didn’t say anything.

“I don’t understand how’s that relevant. Either way single or not. I’m not gonna stop trying to be her next and last boyfriend.” Luke answered. Making Y/n smile. She whispered over to him thank you.

Soon days turned to weeks and weeks turned into months. The media soon found out Y/n and Harry broke up. It was now public that Harry was dating Kendall and That Y/n and Luke were dating each other. Even though they haven’t made things official. They both liked each other. Y/n was starting to be happy again. Even though she did still love Harry and she pretty sure she’d never stop. She’s starting to get a point where she’s happy if he’s happy. Today was the day that she was talking the rest of her stuff to her Brianna house from Harry.

Harry on the other hand has not been taking the break up too well. When Y/n left at first he okay. Kinda hurt but not too hurt because he thought he was in love with someone else. But after the first two weeks of being with Kendall he realized it was all a mistake. The smallest things would make him miss Y/n the most. When it lasted and Harry wants to talk Y/n would listen. Kendall would tell Harry to go back to sleep. Y/n loved kissing all over Harry showing him affection no matter where they are. He’d get lucky if Kendall decides to hold his hand. Harry didn’t want her and not to mention the sex. Y/n was 100 times better than Kendall. Every time they had sex he’d always think of Y/n to make himself cum. As they were sitting there cuddling. Harry was thinking how he made a big mistake. Kendall laying on his chest as he scrolled through his phone. The tv was on. Showing reruns of a celebrity gossip show that Kendall was watching.

“So Y/n, is it true your single?” The reporter asked, he quickly looked at the screen seeing Y/n there with Luke sitting in separate chairs but close to each other y/n didn’t seem like she wanted to ask the question. Why would they ask her that?

“I don’t understand how’s that relevant. Either way single or not. I’m not gonna stop trying to be her next and last boyfriend.” Like responded as Y/n face lit up. Harry couldn’t help but feel jealous. Even though this was old. He felt that Luke was trying to get at his Y/n.

“Ohh so you have a little crush on Y/n?” The reporter ask.

“A little?” He laughed, “she’s so amazing and so good at her job. It’s just an absolute honor just to be next to her. She’s an fantastic person and friend and anyone who doesn’t realize that is dumb.” Luke said, not even looking at the reporter. He was looking directly at Y/n. Y/n leaned over and kissed his cheek. Harry quickly took the remote and changed the channel.

“Why’d you do that?” Kendall asked, sitting up looking at him. He shrrugged his shoulders.

“Harry what’s wrong?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re off. Lately you don’t seem too happy with me and I can see you’re getting jealous because another guy admitted he has feelings your ex girlfriend. That you left.”

“I was with her for 5 years. What do you want me to say?” He responded.

“Harry you left her to be able to be with me. You told me you’re not in love with her anymore, Do you even love me?”

“Y/n you know I love you.”

“Y/n?” She laughed, “did you just call me Y/n!” She said, getting up from the couch. Harry was shocked. He didn’t mean to to say Y/N’s name but he does love Y/n.

“Gosh Harry you guys broke up months ago you left her! You shouldn’t even be thinking about her.”

“I’m sorry Kendall.. I just don’t wanna be with you anymore. It was a mistake. ”

“A mistake?! A fucking mistake? You told me we can be together. You told me me all these things how you loved me and you still love her? Do you think she’s gonna take you back?! Do you think she’s gonna come through that door?” Kendall yelled at Harry. Followed by a knock on the door. Causing Kendall to look over at the door. Frustrated Kendall went to the door swinging it open. Revealing Y/n

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Kendall said, Y/n scrunched her face at her greeting.

“I just came to get the last of my stuff.” Y/n said, stepping inside while holding a huge box full of stuff. “I’m leaving.” Kendall announced as she walk she grabbed her keys and purse and walked out the house closing the door behind her.

“I hope everything’s okay.” Y/n said looking over at Harry. Harry sighed and stared at the beauty in front of him. He missed her so much.

“Yea.. everything fine. What’s in the box?” He asked, getting up as he took the box from Y/n. Placing on the table.

“Ya know stuff i made a mistake and took when you dumped me.” She smiled, Harry looked at her. “Must you make things awkward?” He asked.

“Ya know it’s one of my many talents.” She smiled as Harry opens the box. Y/n pulled out the few shirts in the box.

“These are all your favorite T-shirt that i took purposely when we broke up so you’d look for them you’d never be able to find them.” She pulled out the shirts and placed them down. “Here are all you’re old vintage one of a kind records.”

“I was looking for those! Y/n how could you?”

“Do you think i wanna gonna just go and let you be happy? While i sit around and cry over you. You needed some kind of pain.” She said, “wow Y/n. This really hurt my heart.” He said, Harry looked over at her.

“Y/n I’m really sorry for how i handled things.” He said,

“It’s okay Harry. You felt trapped and you didn’t love me anymore and if you want the honest answer. I’m not over you but I’m happy as long as you are.” She said, she reached up to kiss his cheek. She walked around the back room where they kept all storage of things. Grabbing her last couple boxes of stuff walking back to the door.

“I’ve made a mistake.” Harry said, y/n set the boxes down and walked over to Harry.

“Harry I’m pretty sure whatever you and Kendall got to arguing over she would get over I’m pretty sure she’d get over it.” Y/n said as she approached him.

“I’m not talking about that. It’s you. I shouldn’t have left you. When I felt lost.. i shouldn’t have shut you out. I miss you.” He said to Y/n, Y/n was confused . She was planning on coming here telling Harry they could be friends not for him to tell her she misses him.

“Harry I-.” She started but interrupted by a knock on the door. Harry looked over the door and walked over and opens it. Revealing Luke.

“Hey Y/n I just wanted to make sure everything is okay you’ve been in here for a while.” Luke said to Y/n not even bothering to greet Harry.

“Ohh yea me and Harry were just catching up. Harry you remember Luke. He brought me over to get my stuff today.” Y/n said with a half smile. Then she picked up the boxes. “Okay Harry I have to go. We can talk another time.”

#harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #short story

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