#this is supposed to be a career reading but ended up being How To Adult Life 101

[tuliptic]

Where Do I Go : From Here Until?

This reading is specifically targeted towards those who are about to graduate and have no idea where they should go, not knowing the directions. I believe most who have gone through this phase will understand how difficult it was to start adult-ing. Let us help the younger one through this as well. (This is supposed to be a career reading but it ended up becoming a How To Adult 101 kinda reading. To that anon who asked for a career reading, I hope you’re okay with this reading here)

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages do you need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or images used here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1:

Overall theme (energy of querent) : The World

Overall, you’ve felt like you’ve achieved whatever you've wanted or deemed needed to. This pile is giving me the top student vibe, like you’ve done everything you can and have achieved top graduate and you’re ready for the next phase of life aka adult.

Where are you right now? King of Wands

You’re probably the type of person who’s the top in the class and have been leaders in group assignments. You have that energy still in you, and you’re maintaining it as much as you can. Currently you’re at a nice spot in life, not having that much worry about adulting cuz you feel that you’ve done all the necessary preparations for you to march into it.

Where should you go from here? Ten of Cups

Self-alignment is what I’m seeing here, preparing to be in harmony with yourself. You’ve probably heard about adult life from many around you and your best preparation you can do right now is to make sure you’re emotionally ready for what is to come. For some reason, I’m seeing something like counseling? Or humanitarian courses? Some fields that are related with human emotions and the regulation of it? I’d also suggest that you consult your family about this. You’ll be needing the support and hence, surrounding yourself with those who support your vision and share your values.

Why should you go there? Nine of Cups

Satisfaction. Wherever it is you want to go will give you the utmost satisfaction as you're able to help others to get better. I feel that it’s like you’ve received help in the past and now you want to be able to extend the same help to those who need it. It’s like you’re at the position to be able to repay the gratitude. You’ve wanted to be free, you’ve wanted to repay the energy and you’ve wanted to create peace in your life, in the lives of others.

How do you get there? Three of Wands

Consistent progress, step by step. Just keep moving forward and the paths will be opened unto you. I’m also seeing some overseas opportunities for some of you. So if you’re given the chance, grab and take them in your hands and go act on your dream. It's the perfect time for you to be making changes towards a new you.

What do you do when you get there? The Hanged Man

Learn, expose yourself to as many things as you can and observe things from every angle possible. But for you to be able to accept those new perspectives, you’ll first need to let go of whatever limiting thoughts you have as they could hinder your learning process. That aside, this card is ruled by Neptune and it’s a planet that rules spiritual and religious themes, so there’s something you may be interested in venturing into.

Advices for you: Five of Pentacles rx

You may have felt left out during your school/college days but now, as you’re adjusting yourself to enter the adult world, you’re slightly feeling more adjusted as compared to how insecure you were in the past. You’re probably the type of person who was not really much welcomed because of how excellent you are? And there may be people who didn’t like that part of you, resulting in you yearning (maybe?) to enter the adult world, so that you can be away from childish people who are trying to hinder you because of their incompetence. Your confidence is now slowly being restored. Believe in every reason that makes you feel better

Overall energy: The Chariot, Six of Swords rx

The overall energy here is a pleasant one, where we can see movements. Six of Swords in reverse gives me the feeling that you’re adjusting your energy and preparing for a personal transition, which the cards earlier have further explained. This is a time for rebirth, and upon waking, you are ready to act on your passions and dreams, to proceed into the life of adulting with your chin up.

Pile 2:

Overall theme (energy of querent) : The Tower rx, The Hierophant rx

You’ve experienced a lot of lows as of now. A bunch of unwelcomed changes were thrown to you and you originally were at a loss. But you’ve gotten tired with how problems and changes kept coming their way. After a couple of introspection and consultation you’ve done, you’ve decided to go “fuck it” and go through a 180 degree change in how you view things.

Where am I right now? The Sun rx

You’ve probably experienced something not so nice and you’re still at your low. For some reason (since this is mainly targeting students), I thought maybe you’re unsatisfied with how your thesis turned out, or unhappy with your finals? Something that happened in school/college/university affected you and made you down, made you lose your light.

Where should I go from here? Two of Wands

For some reason I’m seeing travel. Solo traveling, specifically. To travel to some place with a different culture, or to a place where you’ve never been, so that you observe and immerse yourself in them, to be independent and plan your own schedule. You’ll be able to learn things from this trip. I don’t quite know how to properly explain but lemme give an example. You’re used to the city life and out of impulse or proper planning, you’ve decided to travel to the countryside alone to see how the people there live and pass their time, take some pictures or sit and have a conversation with the locals there. (Suddenly this sounds a bit dangerous so please don’t go solo thanks.)

Why should I go there? Eight of Swords rx

You’ve already had some preset beliefs that need to be turned over. Example, you’ve believed life in the countryside is just all mud and trees and no internet. But it’s not that. Life in the countryside sure isn’t as glamorous in the cities, but the necessities are met and there’s internet. You’ll realize that the countryside is colorful as well, just that the colors it is painted in is different from the cities. From this experience, you’ll probably realize how it’s similar to you, where you have a different color compared to other people, but you two are equally colorful. You’re called to be kind to yourself and let go of the self-criticism that’s been eating you up.

How do I get there? The Moon

Listen to your heart, tune in to your intuition. I know this sounds hella vague and some of you don’t exactly know how. But as long as you do what your heart tells you to, then you’ll be able to make do somehow. Remember that you’re the co-creator of your life and destiny, and that you’re the one who gets to decide where you wanna go, how you wanna go. You wanna take a week’s journey instead of a day? Go ahead, do that. Listen to what your heart has to say. But also please remember to stay responsible.

What do I do when I get there? Page of Wands

You’ll probably be feeling a lot of creative urge during that stage. Write? Art? Photography? Do that. Record your journey, let new ideas flow through you. There may also be some stubbornness in it but balance it out with your strength and you can see that your vision, your thoughts will be seen through your work. Cultivate and curate. You are heading into a new beginning so welcome it.

Advices for me : Strength

Believe in your strength, let courage flow through you. Embrace the fierceness in you and let it guide through your life. Do not cage the Lion, but be friends with it, tame it, and let it be your loyal protector. If somebody crosses your boundaries, let the Lion defend you. Also, let the Lion lead you to act on your passions and dreams upon waking up. Believe instead of finding excuses, show the world your own charm and let yourself love freely.

Overall energy: Strength, Two of Cups

Strength is here again and courage is an important theme for you as you proceed into another phase of life. I usually refer to the Two of Cups as a couple’s card, and pairing with Page of Wands earlier, you may have a partner who’s very supportive of you, or you may find a partner who’ll be very encouraging to what you do in life. Your higher self is sending you signals and messages through dreams and they’re waiting for you to communicate with them, to get the messages they want to send you to jump into adulthood easier.

Pile 3

Overall theme (energy of querent) : The Hermit

First thought is that you may be an introvert. Second thought is that you enjoy your alone time as much as your social time. Reason is that you can enjoy time at your own pace without having the need to rush. There’s actually a lot on your mind and those are mainly thoughts on how you can improve yourself. For some reason, I’m also picking up on manifestation as well? You are very in tune with your higher self and probably communicate with them in dreams.

Where am I right now? The Sun 

You’re at a pretty nice place for you to start taking action. The Sun symbolizes positivity, symbolizes vibrant energy. And you’re in this state. Maybe graduating from university gave you hope and you’re just ready to enter this new phase with a new mentality, ready to act on your passions and dreams. You give me the vibe that you have a bucket list to complete when you’re an adult and you can’t wait to accomplish those.

Where should I go from here? The Lovers rx

There may be more than two paths available for you and there’s some dilemma, confusion, questioning which to do first. There are quite some inconsistencies in you that may result in choices not getting you on the best path. However, allow yourself to be inconsistent. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Honor your inner grace, wisdom and beauty. Take a look at your current situation and decide however you want to walk. It may not be the best, but at least you’re walking without regrets.

Why should I go there? Eight of Pentacles rx

I feel that the path you’ve chosen to tread on is a path you’re meant to go on. This card here talks about traditional hard work that you’re required to complete. It also tells you things that can be ignored and cannot be ignored, and when you’re called to master a skill, you need to do so. Your main task is to turn this card into the upright position, to master the particular skill you’ve selected. It’s like the card above, where you walk without regrets, learn without regrets. When it’s all over, you will feel very happy about what you have accomplished.

How do I get there? Page of Wands

By taking this journey as an adventure. We all know that adulting is a new beginning and there’s a lot to us all but also, take it with a twist of creativity. There’s the symbol of will and with that, you can go far. Along with stubbornness, strength and balance, your vision, your path can gradually be seen, and you know how to define yourself better. Hard work will pay off if you’re loyal to yourself.

What do I do when I get there? Seven of Wands

Spending most of your time going with the flow of life is cool, but it’s not advised to do so in the long run. Sometimes, you’ll feel some lack of content or comfort being left alone and you want to hang out with someone. But you’re called to be aware of what’s happening around you cuz there may be some competition, jealousy, or even work conflicts that can arise due to you being excellent in your job or something. You will want to resist them or change the whole direction of the negativity that’s directed towards you.

Advices for me: Three of Cups

This card is a card about celebration. So celebrate every small wins and let them be definitive. A lot of small wins make a big win, after all. With this card here, I’m seeing that you’re called to take time off for yourself, for your loved ones and build new relationships, with yourself and some new people. Get yourself involved in a community or a society, as it will benefit you not only in the future, but also helps you to adapt to adult life better. There’s abundance waiting for you.

Extra message: This is gonna be a short one sentence but, some of you may be welcoming a new love as you step into adulthood OVO

Overall energy: The Hierophant, The Star rx

This pile is gungho but also scared. I have a feeling that people around this pile have been instilling fearful thoughts and responsibilities into them these entire while. Something like “now you’re an adult, you’ll need to start having savings and get some stuffs done,” or “once you start earning you gotta buy your own car,” or something similar. I can’t think of much right now. There’s much tension there, but you’re called to surrender those old, limiting beliefs, whatever thoughts that have been fed by older people. Now, you have to awaken and allow yourself to be reborn into limitless possibilities.

Pile 4

Overall theme (energy of querent): Justice

I immediately thought of Libra energy when I saw this card and some of you may have prominent Libra in your chart. You guys adore and adhere to balance in everything y’all do, including interaction with other people. I suddenly thought of karma. No, I'm not saying that you are karma (or maybe you guys embody that energy a lillll bit?) but you guys are a firm believer of karma’s retribution. Karma’s gonna come to collect your debt kinda vibe.

Where am I right now? Page of Pentacles rx

You’re currently in a standstill. You’re easily distracted at the moment and have been wanting to try a lot of things, which may be standing in the way of your ability to realize your goals and dreams. Planning and skills are fundamental and you realize you have neither, hence standing still in where you are. You don’t have a solid foundation to stand on, and you’re probably lost with all sorts of options available for you right now.

Where should I go from here? The Chariot

Action. You need to find a direction and take action. This is not an impulsive energy, but instead, it’s an energy about motion, about movement, about going for things, about getting things done. I mean, where’re we going? No one knows it, even us, the main characters of our stories. But we still gotta go on, right? This is the energy this card is telling you to embody, to go and charge forward, and see where life takes you. Stop standing there like a scarecrow.

Why should I go there? Four of Swords rx 

Why? Cuz you’ve slept for far too long. I don’t mean in the literal sense but if you’ve been sleeping a lot it’s time to wake up and get your body moving. You need to remember you’re the lion and you shouldn’t be hibernating, but instead, you’re supposed to get up and do what The Chariot has instructed you to. It’s time for you to wake up and surrender any old or limiting beliefs, awaken yourself to let yourself be reborn into limitless possibilities.

How do I get there? Three of Pentacles rx

It’s giving me a solo journey kinda vibe. Three of Pentacles is a team project kinda vibe but now, you’re alone. You’ll need to ride that Chariot yourself else you’ll let your team take you there. Your higher self is saying “No, nope.” to this and it’s now up to you to maneuver your own journey to finding where you want to stand. You won’t be alone for a long while. It will be so until you’ve found your path and found a nice team who will work together with you.

What do I do when I get there? Seven of Cups

You’ll be seeing how the real world is like when you enter adulthood. You’ll learn that whatever you’ve heard in your student days are just… Not so realistic. The adults you see once you’ve graduated are just tired all the time with their day to day tasks cuz of responsibilities, but you also manage to see a few who are capable of making the best out of their lives. In the end, you’ll realize that it depends on each individual, and you’re called to realize that you’re the co-creator of your life and your destiny. Seeing them makes you reflect on who you are, what you want to be as a person. 

Advices for me : Nine of Swords

Do not be afraid or anxious. It’s probably the fear that’s throwing you into a standstill and that you’re unable to move forward. You need to know that the present is what’s defining you at this moment. The present is where you learn. Look for opportunities in life’s challenges and learn those lessons. Be prepared, but not fearful. Adulthood is a phase of life that we all need to go through and take your time to figure it out as you journey. Adulthood is not a solo journey, but the path to finding yourself, finding what you want to do is. 

Extra Card (that fell out): Knight of Pentacles rx

You’re called to be patient and allow yourself to make gradual progress. Sometimes the gusts of wind blowing at you may be strong and you can only walk in small steps, or even get blown back a bit. It’s still alright, as long as you make the steps later with the energy of The Chariot. Know that the source of strength comes within you, and only you can release that energy out. 

Overall energy: The Sun, Strength

The Sun and Strength being here talks about having courage, having faith, welcoming the adult world. It is not something for you to shy away and run from. Adulthood is a new phase in life and it’s difficult, but it’s also something to look forward to as you grow up. As you grow into the new you that you’re becoming, remember to have fun and play once in a while. You need to reconnect with your inner child as well. Balance yourself between adult life and your child life.

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Thank you for reading until the end! Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated! See you soon in another reading!

#tuliptic #🌷 #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot readings #tarot #i don't know what else to tag again #but yeah this #this is supposed to be a career reading but ended up being How To Adult Life 101 #i hope this reading makes sense and resonates cuz #this is new #like #really really light #i'm doing a reading on a topic i no longer know how to relate #but eh whatever

[bellejolras]

i don’t mean to go on a rant but I’ve been reading reviews of Poor Things bc i hate being happy and ohhhh my goddddd

spoilers under the cut but I have complaints about people’s (lack of) media literacy

Oh my god okay so first of all, if you haven’t seen a movie how are you going to comment on it. Reading summaries and other people’s reviews only is not sufficient to make an original point. you do not know what you’re talking about. just stop.

Second, the movie is. satirical. Which I thought was obvious from the absurd premise and surreal visuals? This is not supposed to be the real world. Nor is it advocating for all the stuff it shows. In fact, it’s even actively indicting some of what it shows. For example: fucked up power dynamics in sexual relationships exist in the movie, but the movie is not saying they are good, it’s criticizing them. Is this not getting through to people?

Third, and related, it’s not ! just ! about ! a sexy baby !! Partly because again, satire. But also partly because she rapidly goes through childhood & adolescent maturity. And it’s not meant to be, like, linear… the regular laws of empirical data and science do not apply to this world… so she is not in fact, like 6 when she’s having sex but more like 16. Which you could argue is still a minor, and im not disputing that, because again the movie is critical of this part and duncan is a total loser. But there’s a massive difference between the mental development of those two ages. ALSO there’s literally nothing inherently wrong with baby bella autonomously discovering masturbation. That’s extremely normal for little kids, often just as a way of self-soothing because it feels nice and not with any awareness of sexuality. And it’s fine if you thought that was a weird scene! but it’s hardly pedophilia to include in the film when the “baby” in question is in fact played by fully grown adult emma stone and I cannot believe that I’m seeing people accuse this movie of that

Fourth, if you claim your takeaway from this movie is “it wants me to believe that women’s power only exists through their sexuality” then I don’t believe you’ve seen the entire movie (see point 1). Narratively it’s only a means to an end for Bella, and when she gets tired of it, she stops! She gets bored of duncan and reads philosophy! She leaves her sex work career and becomes a medical professional! And, even in the sex scenes, while there are many, they center her and her experience, her pleasure. Yes, her tits are out a lot but the sex scenes are weird, intentionally grotesque without being violent. The montage with duncan is shot through a fisheye lens and literally pans away from the bed to focus on a bird landing in the room. Duncan can proclaim himself the best lover in the world, but he’s really not important to the scene ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In conclusion, I know the people I’m complaining about aren’t going to read this, but just in case, I urge you to learn media literacy. And anyone else who read all of this, thanks lol!! accepting good faith discourse in the notes/replies

#this is literally just me complaining about people lacking media literacy so look away if that sounds boring #also there be spoilers #poor things #poor things 2023

[tethered-heartstrings]

people who entirely blame jack for what happened with will didn't watch the same show. as the audience, we see that will isn't sleeping, and that hannibal lied about his stability, and will's blackouts and sleepwalking. we are an outside observer privy to information other characters don't see. jack only knows what is told to him, he can't read minds. he can't know how bad will is doing if will doesn't tell him. he trusts will is a grown adult who will take care of himself. a socially and professionally trusted and admired medical professional tells jack that will is fine! what reason does jack have to not believe that will is capable to not only do his job but make the sound decision to stay or go. why is jack the bad guy here?

and regarding will getting arrested, ALL the evidence was against him. he had no memory and no alibi for the murders he was being convicted of. he was at sutcliffe's office when he was murdered, after hours, when no one else (supposedly) was there. he was the last person to see georgia alive. he knew he went to minnesota with abigail and came back without her, no memory of leaving but the hallucination of having killed her. he threw up her ear. flesh and bone and hair of every victim was woven into his lures, a hobby that everyone knew he had. what exactly was jack supposed to think? was he supposed to ignore evidence? it would be against all logic and common sense to just assume will was innocent. even will doubted his own innocence. ofc we, the audience, knew he wasn't guilty, but jack can't see what we see. he even risked his career, against his better judgment, to help will. he had no reason to, but he cares about will. he cares about him a lot, and a lot more than people give him credit for.

jack cared about will deeply, saw him as a friend, for the entire show. giving him the benefit of the doubt up until the very end. the confidence he has that will is a good and trustworthy person in the last episode gets him mocked for "not seeing will as he truly was" but when he assumes will is a killer in s1 people also get mad at him for not having *enough* confidence in will. which is it?

jack is a good agent, a good friend, and did what he could given the tools he had to do his job. he can't help people who refuse his help (aka will), he can only try so much.

and hannibal is a master manipulator. he played every single character on that show and had them convinced he was normal and safe, sometimes for years. every single person who outright blames jack for everything got as manipulated by hannibal as jack did! because hannibal planted distrust between will and jack, and with the audience and jack. if you think jack is the problem, congratulations, you got played by the villain of the show.

#jack crawford #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannibal #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #had this drafted since july lmao #the speaking clown #this is a pro jack blog #and before anyone makes acab jokes. maybe don't compare a fictional character to irl cops that systematically harm and kill innocent people #in real life and do so repeatedly and brutally and get away with it on paid leave #the scene where freddie lounds gets roughly handcuffed and mandhandled IS inappropriate but DOES NOT compare to #the heinous acts of real life cops

[anewstartrekfan]

Reading an old Star Trek book and to my surprise Jim Kirk has always had Daddy issues

So the only Star Trek book I’ve read was the one explaining how the tribbles episode was made and the aftermath, so trying to read Enterprise (1986) with some basic knowledge of trek post 2009 is fascinating. Cuz you see where the breadcrumbs of some of the characterization and even backstory come from.

In chapter 2, Sam Kirk and Kirk’s mom show up to Kirk’s ceremony where he takes command of the enterprise. They talk about George Kirk Sr. being in Starfleet, (he’s dead here too) something that I don’t think was in any of the episodes or movies. And how he was always distant and away. And they’re clearly going for some parallels/dramatic irony with the Wrath of Khan when it comes to Kirk not believing he could’ve developed a relationship with his father as an adult. And it plays into the tragic aspect I love about Kirk.

Upon reflection he’s happy that Carol rejected him (he proposed to her in chapter 1) because he doesn’t want to leave anyone behind while on the job, only returning for sparse visits the way his father did. But at the same time, Jim craves companionship. And he can’t get it in his current job because as captain, it is not ethical for him to date anyone else on the Enterprise.

Anyway the long and short is if we take this book into account, Kirk has always had daddy issues. It’s just in TOS EU it was abandonment issues whereas in 2009 it was dad sacrificed himself so high expectations issues.

The little details like the mom’s name getting carried over into the aos movies are a good touch, but then seeing George Kirk being a Starfleet officer actually get incorporated into the 2009 movie as an important plot point, and then also using his absence in Kirk’s life but just in a different way as part of Kirk’s backstory is so cool to me.

A difference though is unlike fanfic tropes, Winona is actually a good mom and wants Jim to succeed in his career where his father failed in his Starfleet career. Unfortunately though Jim appears to be falling into the same pitfalls. As in lack of communication and unwillingness to play workplace politics.

That last burn from Winona tho… like damn girl I felt that.

Another thing I want to backtrack to, Sam Kirk. Sam being the alleged chosen child, the one that was supposed to follow in George Kirk’s footsteps but didn’t, and then Jim strolled in and did even more than what Sam was supposed to do, and Sam and George never reconciled. Like dudes this book is almost 40 years old and this stuff was in strange new worlds last year. Tho xenobiology appears to have morphed into xenoanthropology (tho according to the fan wiki he’s still a biologist so idk what the deal is)

For the record Sam’s characterization isn’t remotely the same here. Likely the choice to keep him out of Starfleet all together removed any sort of resentment of Jim potential like he has in SNW. There’s still tension though, as Sam tries to force Jim to confront why he’s reacting like this to his first mission for the enterprise being an escort job for a flying horse.

Shifting gears back to Jim needing to learn how to play workplace politics. The assumed reason for Pike leaving the enterprise. While SNW is doing the whole, Pike knows he won’t fly the enterprise forever and about the disfigurement and is cool with it, I find if fascinating that he’s more, sad about it here and that he got promoted out of the way for pushing too many buttons. It would be a sad ending but I wonder if SNW would incorporate that into its eventual ending. Hell I wonder if that’s what happened to Kirk between TOS and TMP.

Anyway big picture is this book is a fascinating time capsule and it’s fun seeing just how much has stuck around over the years both in fandom and in the franchise itself. Whether or not that’s the book’s doing is questionable but still. Fun to think about.

#star trek #star trek tos #james t kirk #spock #star trek enterprise #Star Trek enterprise 1986 #it’s a fun read #sam kirk #Star Trek meta #Star Trek analysis #star trek strange new worlds #strange new worlds #snw #star trek the original series #Star Trek enterprise the first adventure #Star Trek AOS #star trek alternate original series #Jim Kirk meta

[ohtobeleah]

Leah babe. Whenever you’re ready we’re here patiently waiting for the next update of TH&TH.

THIS TOOK ME FUCKING FOREVER TO WRITE!! And as promised, an earlier update as the Masterlist received 1’000 notes!! Ahhh. Anyway—here’s the next chapter. Also the Masterlist for those who need to catch up. We're getting closer and closer to the end of what I'd say would be series finale of season one of TH&TH. But a series two would be on the cards.

Jake Seresin never thought he’d fly for the Navy, he had every intention of joining the airforce from the day he knew what a plane was. The white walls of his childhood bedroom were plastered with air force propaganda posters spanning decades, yet they all told him the same thing. That planes were cool and that someday he’d fly one. He remembered as he sat in his F-18 Super Hornet that the longer he sat staring at the walls he littered with his dreams, his passion—the more he wanted it. A common denominator however for a lot of Jake Seresin's teen and adulting life choices had been one thing and one thing only. You. 

As Jake took his only shot at saving his colleagues' lives as they gained altitude towards the sun–like a modern day version of Ikaris themselves, Jake thought back to the moment he thought maybe the Navy wouldn't be such a bad career choice after all. 

“You wanna do what?” Sitting on your best friend's bed you told Jake that you were starting to think about a career in the Navy. “Say it again for me real quick, I don't think I heard you correctly.” He teased as he spun around on his desk chair, flipping the pen he’d been doing his homework with through his fingertips. 

“I said, I was talking to Sarah the other day and she said her older brother is a clearance diver and loves it.” You explained as you sat with your History book open on page one hundred and forty nine. Reading about the social and political constructs of the highly controversial and deeply divisive ruler—empress Wu. “Been thinking about it a lot actually–seemed pretty neat.” You couldn’t really focus on her rise from common concubine to empress when Jake was staring into your soul from across his room though. 

“You know if you go into the Navy and I go into the Air Force we can't be friends anymore right?” Jake taunted before you threw his own pillow his way. “What!” He gasped. “I'm just saying–it's kinda like a given thing that the branches all kinda hate each other.” It was your senior year of highschool so the reality of the real world was starting to kick in. You'd both been giving a lot of thought into what you wanted to do after school. If a gap year was on the horizon or if college was a possibility. Or for you maybe it was the Naval Academy and for Jake it would be the BMT. 

For now though, you and Jake both worked down at the local pizzeria after school–it was supposed to be your way of being able to spend more time together. But when the big boss had noticed that the two of you barely got anything done when you were both rostered on together? He made sure to end that real quick. 

“Doesn't the Navy have like, Naval Aviators or something?” You sighed, not realising just how much of a spark it lit inside Jake as he watched you return to your work. “If we both enlisted maybe we might be able to take on the world together?” You weren't putting all that much thought into what you were saying, simply making light hearted conversation with your best friend as you both did whatever homework you both had due the next morning. You History and Jake Mathematics–always the maths guy. “Who knows, But hey–if you do go into the Air Force and fly those stupid planes that cost way too much money I guess you already have a callsign.” Smirking, Jake looked at you like you’d just shot him through the chest. 

“Oh no. No way would I ever use Hangman as my call sign.” Jake huffed as he shook his head. “It's stupid.” 

“It's who you are, idiot.” You reminded him, all those moments where he’d hung around his locker waiting for the right moment to talk to you only to be left hanging had the namesake sticking to him like super glue all through high school. Like fuck was Jake taking that shit with him into his adult life. “Besides, it suits you.” 

The pad of Jake's thumb hit the trigger for his missile lock system the moment he’d been drawn back into the present by the tone he’d locked on the fifth generation fighter pilot. He watched as the jet exploded into a thick black fiery cloud that surely had to be lethal for whoever had been sitting in the cockpit. Knowing that he was coming home to you and whoever he’d just shot down wasn't. That would be his second air to air kill. You hadnt taken well to the first one–he wondered for a moment if you'd love him any less now that he had two. 

“Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your savour speaking.” Jake put on his usual persona of the guy who everyone just couldn't stand as he came racing through the plume into vision of Chaos and Rooster. “Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright position and prepare for landing.” He watched as Chaos looked his way and smacked her first twice against the side of the cockpit, laughing behind her mask. He couldn’t really tell from this distance how fucking close to death she really was. 

“Hey Hangman, you look good.” Rooster commented from the back seat, not his usual position on a fighter jet. All things considered though it probably still had a pretty good view. Jake nodded peacefully in response, he was going to say something about how he wanted to throw up over the fact he’d left you like he did to get here. Crying, screaming his name, yelling at him that you needed him. He wanted to mention that it killed him to know he left you heartbroken in his best friend's arms because he just put his colleagues above you and even more so above his own safety. Or that if he’d listened to your direct orders to stand down Rooster and Chaos may very well not be alive right now. He wouldn’t ever say that to you—ever.

Jake didn’t say any of the aforementioned things, he couldn’t. The words failed him when he tried to convey the right things to say—they always had, but in this very instant he knew his worry and utter agony was written in the lines on his face. 

Jake just nodded and laughed with them. 

“I am good Rooster, I'm very good.” He paused as he broke right and turned back to head towards the carrier. He wondered if the girl who sat on his bed that one time and said you could both take on the world together would still want to charge at it head on when he landed or if you’d throw your hands up and finally say enough's, enough. “I'll see you both back on deck.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

“You’re okay Hawkeye, I got you.” Javy rocked with you as you clung to him in utter heartbreak. There was no sense of time anymore, you didn't know if you'd been left on the runway for two minutes or two hours as you cried out in utter heartache loud enough for anyone walking the flight deck to hear. “Jakes gonna bring em home.” 

“You don’t know that–what if he never comes home.” Javy wasn't about to tell you that he had that feeling too, he wasn't about to break your heart any more than Jake had already done so in order to go after Rooster and Chaos. “He's the love of my life Javy–” Javy felt his own heart shattering as he held you a little tighter, sitting with you between his legs in the middle of the runway. His arms encapsulated you like he was shielding you from the world around you. Not wanting you to ever be hurt again. “What am I supposed to do without him huh? What does he fucking want from me!?” 

“He doesn't want nothing Hawk, he probably just knows by now that you love him enough to know that whatever happens, good or bad–he had all the right intentions.” Deep down you knew Javy was right, you did love Jake enough to know that a year ago–or even just a few months ago for that matter, he never would have done this.  

Levi ‘Elvis’ Macarthy was a terrible person and an even worse influence on your husband. He was the very dictionary definition of superficial. There wasn't a person you loathed more than Jake’s current Wingman. You knew Levi wouldn't hesitate to leave Jake in the dust if things went wrong, but what scared you so much more was Jake had become the very same. 

“Oh my god—“. You just couldn't hold it in any more, your marriage had fallen to shambles around you before there was anything left to salvage. Your grandmother always used to tell you like because and you love despite. But with Jake? Over the last few months nothing seemed worth it. “You're worse than Levi.” You had just been discussing Jake's latest deployment, he hadn’t bothered to tell you until three days out. “Levi, he’s a selfish superficial asshole but he can’t help it, Jake–but you? You could be a good person but you wanna be an asshole! You are so obsessed with getting promoted and becoming the best of the very best that you’re choosing to be a piece of shit—“ It would be your last fight, the fight that drove you over the edge, the one you couldn't come back from. The fight where things were said that you couldn’t take back no matter how badly you wanted to. It was the fight that put all your others to shame. 

“Okay stop pretending this is some moral dilemma!” Jake hadn’t told you about his next deployment because he knew that you still weren’t over his last. He didn't know how to tell you without starting a fight. Which inevitably happened anyway. 

“It is a moral dilemma! You’re pushing everyone away to chase a fucking pipe dream!” You were so proud of Jake and everything he’d accomplished, but the idea that you were the only one who was didn't sit right with you. You knew he lived for the applause, but you couldn't cheer him on from the bleachers alone. “You’re a lieutenant! God isn't that enough for you at this moment? Revel in it a little before you chase the next rank!”  

“Oh you wanna go there?” Jake scoffed as he took strides towards you, crossing the distance of the living room. “You—“. Jake spat, his voice laced with venom as he spoke to you like he hadn’t been in love with you since the very first time he saw you let alone spoke to you. Pointing his finger into your chest. “You’re afraid to climb the ladder.” He barked. “Tell me love.” The term of endearment made you weak in such a heated moment. “When was the last time you actually did something you were proud of? You spend all your time worrying about me and what I'm doing and what I'm supposedly becoming because you're too fucking scared to fucking apply yourself, you're scared that even if you tried just a little goddamn harder that you'd still be told you're a crap analyst!” He didn't mean any of it, he just wanted to hurt you the same way you hurt him. But Jake? Well he couldn't attack your person, so he went for your job, your career. He knew you held a little self doubt about your position in the Navy, unlike himself who just oozed confidence in every aspect. “Always a Lieutenant Junior, never gonna make it to Rear Admiral.” 

“You go on this deployment, I won't be here when you get back.” This time you weren’t messing around. The idea had crossed your mind a time or two when things had gotten really bad, when you thought it would be easier to run than to stay and figure it out. 

“What?” Jake had suddenly lost all his male bravado. “What the hell are you talking about?” Although you’d thought about it, you’d never said it out loud. Never mentioned the idea to anyone. “Baby–” His eyes were soft and suddenly full of regret, had he gone too far this time? 

“You heard me Jake so help me god if you go, don’t expect me to fucking be here when you get back.” You thought your love for Jake Seresin could outlast any challenges you faced, but when he was the challenge himself? What else was left to do. 

“You know I have to though—you know better than anyone that I can’t just not go?” His eyes took in the entire expanse of your face, every small mark and imperfection that made you perfect to him in every way. Cupping your face between his hands. “Wifey, we’re okay, we don't have to do this.” You ignored Jake's words as you focused on the first statement that slipped past his lips. 

“Seems like an inevitable outcome then doesn’t it?” You continued, only to pull away and turn on your heels. Holding back the flooded dam that threatened to break if Jake made any attempt to keep you here. Stop you from leaving–.if he asked you to stay you knew it would be all the more harder to go, without question. You loved him so much. 

“Baby don’t leave me.” You left in the middle of the night that same night. 

He never would have put the lives of his fellow aviators above his own and he most certainly wouldn't have defied direct orders to risk his life in order to save another. The version of Jake Seresin that you almost served divorce papers to was long gone. Dead and buried. Replaced by the very best version of himself you knew he could be. The version you fell in love with during highschool. The version who asked you to marry him one random night in July under the stars as waves lapped around your ankles. The version you saw a future, a present and had a past with. It didn't hurt any less though, knowing that the outcome of all his soul searching may end up with the same outcome you’d left him over in the first place. 

You'd' still receive that folded flag, you’d still cry as his coffin was lowered, only now you knew for sure that you wouldn't be the only one to mourn him. 

“GET HER OFF THE DAMN RUNWAY!” Pete Mitchell could be heard screams from the barricades that you jumped over to reach your husband in time, to no avail. You’d fallen into a heap in Coyote's lap, inconsolable and crying as your heart raced at the thought you’d never see Jake again. Clutching at Javys flight suit, the nornex not doing much at all to dry your tears. “COYOTE! GET HER UP BEFORE YOU TWO GET RUN OVER BY A GODDAMN F-18!” 

“Someone tell my wife I'm coming home.” Jake had radioed back to the tower all the while you and Javy had been sitting on the flight deck. He had started making his way back to you the second he wasn't needed, he saw no need to string out your obvious heartbreak. He couldn't wait to get back to you, tell you how sorry he was, how much he loved you, how much you meant to him and how badly it broke his own heart he had to leave you behind like he did–but he knew Rooster and Chaos needed him just a little bit more in the very moment. Jake also couldn't wait to let you know how idiotidc it was to stand in the middle of a goddamn runway. How endearing and brave and oh so stupid he found it. He knew that you were going to tear him a new one about his actions, that was his only leg to stand on. You were miss prim and proper, he was reckless and foolish–the better halves of each other. “Someone tell Y/n I’m okay, for the love of god someone tell her I'm alright.” It was a plea that fell on somewhat deaf ears though, no one could get to you to relay the message and Pete Mitchell certainly wasn't about the scream that crossed the flight deck of the carrier. 

“We gotta move Lieutenant Commander–” Javy cooed as he tried to lift you up. Deadweight against his arms, you didn’t budge for love nor nothing. “Hey, Jake’s coming back, surely.” Pointing over your shoulder to the black dot in the distance headed straight for the carrier Javy tried his best to break through whatever haze had begun to cloud your better judgement. “You see that speck? That's Jake, so unless you wanna get railed by the cord that's gonna come at us at about a hundred miles an hour I suggest we move and the second he lands, I'll let you go? Deal?” You didn't believe Coyote as he tried to be the voice of reason, but as you watched the speck get a little closer, a little more defined, it sparked a hope inside you that you wanted to believe in. That it was Jake and he was coming home. 

“Shit–” You scrambled to your feet, dusting your uniform off as Javy took your hand in his, one hand behind the small of your waist as he guided you over to where the rest of the group stood. Phoenix, Bob, Fanboy, Payback, all desperately awaiting the return of Hangman, Rooster and Chaos. “You really reckon it's him?” You asked as you approached Maverick, he hated the look in your eyes. Despair. Your eyelashes were wet and your cheeks were stained but none of that really mattered when he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and nodded, bringing out a haphazard smile across your face for the briefest of moments. 

“It's him Hawk, it's all of them.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

It was the smoothest of landings Jake had ever pulled off. Everything had gone according to plan. When the tail hook caught on the catcher cord, slowing Jake's Super Hornet to nothing, he could finally breathe again. There wasn’t a lot that confronted Jake Seresin, but when he took off from the carrier, leaving you behind? He’d never felt such a fear in the back of his throat. It resonated with him until he leaned. 

The cheers roaring out from his colleagues and fellow Naval men and women were enough to have him popping his canopy, holding his helmet in his hand as he fist bumped the air. Ravelling in the moment, the glory, the praise. Jake Seresin lived for the applause—and for the almost good enough but not quite worthy Dagger Spare, he thought he’d done pretty well for a guy who hadn’t made the team. 

“You’re insane!!” Phoenix beamed as she tapped Hangman on the shoulder three consecutive times. “And I’m not gonna tell you you’re great, but well done.” He barely acknowledged her, his eyes catching you in the crowd. The roar of success faded as he handed Bob his helmet—without taking his eyes off you. A smirk crept across his face when he saw you falter for a mere moment. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you were utterly and wholeheartedly relieved he was safe. But for a split second as the crowd cheered and separated just enough for Jake to barge his way to you—you couldn’t not let the happiness consume you. 

“Hi wifey—“ Is all Jake manages to say before you’re barreling at him. Running full speed into his arms. With a jump and a graceful lift, your lips are connecting with your husbands as he catches you in his strong arms. Hands on your ass as he kisses you back. Your arms thrown around his shoulder as he deepened the kiss you thought for a while there you’d never get to experience again. “I’m so so—“ You didn’t let him finish as your open palm slapped against his cheek. 

“Don’t you ever leave me like that again, do you hear me?” It wasn’t harsh enough to actually hurt, but it was still with enough force that took Jake aback. “Hangman—do you hear me?” Eyeing off the little gold heart he wore with so much pride.

Jake couldn’t stop himself from beaming at you. He loved you, oh so much. Kissing you again with haste as he nodded against your lips. “So stupid, I can’t believe you do that! Never again okay?” You pleased as Jake kissed you, talking into his mouth as teeth clashed together and tongues danced. Cupping his face to make sure this was real. That he was back and he was safe. “You hear my baby? You got nothing to prove.” 

“Loud and clear ma’am, loud and clear.” Mumbling into your mouth as he held you up by your thighs. The cheering of the entire crew around you made it all the more remarkable. Jake Seresin was a hero, and a beloved one at that. “You’re not off the hook either, pretty girl.” Jake smirked against your lips. “Jumping barricades and barrelling up runways.” It was true, it hadn’t been your finest moment, but you did it all for love. “So stupid wifey, you know that right?” You knew, so the only dignified response you gave was a silent nod. 

“I thought you weren’t coming back—“ You mumbled just shy of a whisper as you let your forehead rest against Jakes as he slowly put you down. Bending over with you to chase your lips again. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of you. 

“I’ll always come ba—“ Again, you slapped him again. This time a little harder as he trapped your hand in his. Making sure you couldn’t slap him again. “Okay, you gotta stop slapping me.” Jake poked his tongue against the inside of his slightly throbbing cheek as you eyed him off. 

“Sorry, I just needed to make sure you were listening.” Racing past the bridge of the carrier where both Admiral Beau and Admiral Bates stood. Chaos flew low and close as you looked up overhead. She held her finger up to the glass. Giving the admirals the bird before her right engine cut out. “But I’m so proud of you Jake—you brought them home.” 

“So I’m off the hook?” Jake asked as he raised an eyebrow, cocking the corner of his lip slightly as you shook your head. Laughing. 

“Oh, oh no—no no no Jacob, you are most definitely not off the hook.” You called him Jacob, he knew he was in shit when Jacob slipped past your lips. “But for now I think you deserve to have your moment.” You gestured to the crowd around you now cheering on Chaos and Rooster as they landed in the barricade. “Go celebrate your victory Lieutenant.” 

“I love you, Wifey!” Jake beamed as he stepped back, immersing himself in the crowd around him. “Love you to the moon and back!” He grinned before turning around, finding his way to the two people he risked it all for. 

“I love you all that much more.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

It had been a few weeks since the Uranium mission had come to its completion. The Admirals had made it abundantly clear that the ragtag team of aviators who had grown to be more like family than just colleagues could have a few precious weeks of unrestricted leave for their duties and sacrifices. Bradley Bradshaw and Robert Floyd had chosen to stay in North Island; They weren’t leaving until they knew for sure that Chaos Kazansky was going to be okay. For you and Jake? Things had mellowed out, settled down and you were both working through the underlying issues that were still plaguing whatever future you were both preparing to have with one another. 

Like today for example, you were both about to find out the paternity results of the DNA test Jake had taken for Marissa. He knew it wasn’t his kid, but he knew you needed that in writing. 

“Okay ladies cough up.” The Miramar Base Hospital smelt of sterile everything but the nurses station? They smelt of that Ariana Cloud Perfume and whatever food had been on offer in the cafeteria that day. “Who owes me what?” You teased as the three ladies sitting behind the glass fished out their wallets and all handed you a ten dollar bill. Much to their own displeasure. You smirked, collecting your earnings with no sympathy. 

“Much appreciated ladies—“ You winked. When Jake had first started doing the rounds for Chaos, you’d gone with him one time early on. The ladies at the front desk had mentioned Jake would always stop and have a chat—nothing malicious, nothing sinister behind it. He just enjoyed the praise he received. And you saw nothing wrong with that—but you’d started an underground betting ring not three days later with the nurses. If your husband was gonna act the foot? The least you were gonna do was make some extra money off him. “Someone ask him about his call sign next time he stops by, if he says anything else besides the fact he was left hanging by a girl he had a crush on in highschool he’s a liar—“ You picketed the cash as you turned on your heels. “Fifty Bucks ladies, take it or leave it.” 

“You look rather nice today Commander?” One of the nurses cooed as she hollered down the hall after you. You weren’t really sure what she was on about to be honest, you were just in a pair of old jeans and a sweater. Maybe it was the brown hair you now wore with pride. Jake had been right, Blondes did have more fun and you had certainly had your fair share during your time back at Miramar. You weren’t meant to be a blonde. So back to your roots you went. “Anything in particular got you all dressed to the nines?” 

“Just enjoying the rest and relaxation ladies, nothing else to it.” You smiled back at them before making your way further into the hospital—running into your husband and Bob shortly after. “I was just coming to see Chaos? How is she?” You asked Bob as Jake took you under his arm, pulling you closer to his side as he kissed the top of your head. It still smelled of brown box dye. He’d helped you colour it back a few nights prior. That in and of itself should have been a mission he had taken more seriously. 

“Awake, she wanted to be with Rooster for a little while.” Bob explained softly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee, do you want anything Commander?” You still weren’t all that keen on everyone calling you commander, shaking your head softly you sighed as Bob stood before you with tired eyes. 

“I’m good, and would you please just call me Hawk if anything Bob? Even Y/n’s totally fine—you guys are family. I don’t want you calling me Commander if we’re not on duty or working together.” 

“Yes ma’am, I’ll see you guys a little later.” Bob was tired, he walked the halls like a ghost of his former self. He and Rooster had been tag teaming for weeks and you knew Jake was worried about them both. 

“God I feel awful.” You mumbled into Jake's shoulder. “We should do something for them.” 

“Only thing we can do is just be here for them.” Jake kissed the top of your head before making a cheeky remark. “Commander Seresin.” He expected the elbow he copped to the ribs but it didn’t make it hurt any less. “Ohh—“ He doubled over for a moment as he stilled in his tracks, watching as you kept walking down the hall. “Okay, I definitely deserved that.” 

“Bet you thought it was gonna be you who made commander first, didn't ya hot shot?” You teased over your shoulder as your husband caught back up to you. “What was it again? Always the Lieutenant Junior, never gonna make it to Rear Admiral?” Quoting the remark Jake had made during one of your more heated arguments. “I’m sure you’ll catch up, Lieutenant.” 

“I liked you better when you were just a lieutenant commander—“ Jake taunted as you both rounded the corner. Laughing you just shook your head. “So cocky now—someone better tap you on the head before you fly too close to the sun there, Icarus.” 

“You know I don’t fly, Flyboy—“ You taunted back as you reached for Jake's hand, walking side by side towards the office of Dr. Sanders—she’d called you earlier that same morning to confirm the results of Jake's paternity test had come in and as had your fertility checks. “And before you say anything, no—I’ve seen the way you fly, I’m not getting in one of the tin cans with you.”

“Javy said he’d take you up if you wanted to?” 

“Oh fuck off—“ You couldn’t hold back to scoff. “You know I’m terrified of flying, never in a million years would you ever get me up in one of those things.” It had always been something you’d pushed to the wayside, but even when you flew commercially, you needed anxiety callers to keep you from panicking. “Thanks, but no thanks.” 

“Ah, there’s the lovely couple!” Dr. Sanders greeted you both with a wide smile as you approached her door. “Come on in, we have a lot to talk about.” 

“All good news I hope?” Jake questioned as he let you enter first and pulled your chair out for you. A kind but almost jarring gesture. The look on Dr. Sanders' face said it all though—it wasn’t. Fuck.

“Mr Seresin, how sure were you that this child wasn’t yours?” She asked and for a moment there you forgot how to breathe. Holy shit, was Jake actually a father? To another woman’s child? 

“Fairly certain I could back my entire career on the matter, why?” Jake still expressed so much confidence in the matter at hand, he never once wavered from his standpoint. It was almost admirable. He sat beside you, reaching out for your hand because he knew if anyone was freaking out right this second it was you—running the pad of his thumb across your palm. 

“Remind me to never second guess your better judgement, you’re not the father Jake—I’m not sure whether to say congratulations or my condolences but biologically speaking no, that child isn’t yours.” 

“That’s exactly what we wanted to hear.” Jake smiled as he turned his cocky attitude towards you fully. “Never doubted it for a minute.” 

“I’ve already informed the other party, she sends her best wishes.” Dr. Sanders sighed before she opened the tan folder on her desk. “Now—onto you little miss, what am I going to do with you.” She sent you a soft smile. This was never an easy part of her job, but education was key.

“Lay it on me doc, I can take it.” Your hand squeezed Jakes just a little tighter as you shifted in your seat. Knowing whatever Dr. Sanders was about to tell you was going to knock the wind from your lungs. 

“Y/n, you have blockage in your left fallopian tube, that means that when sperm are trying to make their way to an egg the blockage is stopping them before they can fertilise.” You really didn’t know what to say as you sat shocked in silence. “It doesn’t necessarily mean a natural conception isn’t possible, it just means that the chances are less likely and if you do ever decide to have children, prenatal vitamins and hormone treatments will aid in the process. And hopefully whatever sperm does make the journey, they take a right instead of left.” 

“Is there anything we can do to remove the blockage?” You asked softly, there was a small part of you who didn’t want to know the answer. But you asked regardless. 

“There’s surgical procedures we can schedule you in for—but they're all quite major and can lead to even more pressing complications like infertility overall.” Dr. Sanders explained. “It’s better to leave well enough alone and hope that the one you still have can come through, otherwise? There’s IVF treatments, adoption—“ Dr. Sanders made it abundantly clear to both you and Jack in her office that you were, in fact, not broken. She’d seen too many women come through her doors that wore the same face she was currently looking up. “You my dear are not broken, you just need to take a few extra steps.” 

“I’m—uh, can we take home all the information you have on all the options please?” Jake could hear it in your voice how scared and upset you truly were. All he could do in the moment though was reassure you that he was there, right beside you. Squeezing your hand to keep you grounded in reality. “We’ll go over everything at a later date.” 

“Of course, and if you ever need a consultation you know where to find me.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

“When are you gonna go up with Hawk?” Coyote smirked at you through the mirror of the free weight section of the base gym. Finishing your set of lateral raises, you huffed out a groan when you placed the weight down. It’s a bad dream by Good Charlotte played through the speaks as you looked at Javy through the mirror. His smugness rubbing you the wrong way immediately. 

“Who told you I ever would?” Two more weeks had passed since the events of the uranium mission and new postings were starting to trickle in. You’d yet to receive yours, but Jake had reciprocated his. A full time position here in North Island. If he wanted it. He’d get to accept—waiting to see what would come of you. 

“Uh, your husband?” Javy sent you a look as if to say who else would’ve told him that. “You two seem good these days?” He asked, still standing behind you in the free weight section, looking at you through the mirror. “Seem happy?” It was no secret to anyone that knew you and Jake that you had your demons, but over the last few weeks, amongst everything else going on—you’d seemed to work a few things out. 

“I think we’re gonna do a few couples therapy sessions but yeah, we’re good.” You smiled over at Jake who’d been doing some boxing with Payback. “I’ll never find a better part of me Javy, and honestly I’m starting to think that I'd rather be here for him than anywhere else in the world for myself.” 

“He loves you.” Javy smirked softly as you turned to face him. “I remember there was this one time I had to really reel him in from going fully off the rails just after you’d left.” You’d never heard Coyote speak his truth on the matter before. “He was fucked Hawk—he knew he drove you away but was just too stubborn to admit it to anyone around him let alone himself.” 

“I wasn’t innocent in the whole thing—“ You added as you let your eyes linger back over to Jake, he’d lost his shirt somewhere along the long as he held the pads for Payback. A thin sheen of sweat covering him head to toe. “But you like because and you love despite.” 

“You did what you had to do.” Javy added, only to change to conversation seconds later back to his original question. “Come in Hawk, one ride—come up with me for service checks?” 

“I dunno Coy—“ You tried to protest, your fear of flying all consuming. But it was to no avail.

“You can’t be a commander without having flown once—“ You’d technically made Commander rank four weeks ago, but the official ceremony wasn’t until January. It wasn’t a question you could keep avoiding any longer, both Jake and Javy pestering you to no end about this joy flight. Were you particularly interested? No—but if you had to do it once to get them off your back it seemed as though the answer had to inevitably be a yes.

“Honestly? What's the worst thing that could happen?” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

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[jedi-valjean]

I think George's intended reading of Padmé in AOTC is not that she's creeped out by Anakin (except maybe when he says stuff like "you're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams" because there's no right way to react to that) but that she's got a crush on him from the beginning of the film. She wasn't prepared for him to be hot and she's a little flustered over it when they first meet. She's always liked Anakin as a friend, but now she likes him as that hot friend you secretly fantasize about without the intention of acting on it.

He couldn't be with her anyway because he's a Jedi, so it's not as if she's being presented with a difficult decision, Anakin or her career. He's not an option in the first place. That's why Anakin's advances make her uncomfortable— the choice isn't hypothetical if he's interested. Being with him is supposed to remain a private fantasy; her career is at stake if it bleeds into reality, not to mention his own position. She might even be afraid that she's encouraged this— after all, she does want him to like her, as you do when you have a secret crush. Even if you never intend to confess your feelings to them, you don't want to embarrass yourself and make them think awkwardly of you. (That's why she covered the cameras— what if she made a weird face in her sleep or her hair got messed up or something? Every time they interacted she'd wonder if he was thinking about how weird and unattractive she looks when she's asleep.)

Basically, Attack of the Clones isn't about an obsessively lovestruck boy winning over a woman who isn't initially interested, it's about two people who are crushing on each other like schoolchildren for the whole movie— Anakin's crush having been nurtured for ten years, Padmé's having come on suddenly when she laid eyes on Anakin all grown up. They're both trying to look good in front of each other, but their chemistry is best when they're genuine. Anakin can come off as very mature when he's not trying to prove it, and Padmé even acknowledges it. (Then he promptly ruins it by sulking about his teachers— Anakin hooking Padmé and awkwardly killing the moment is a running gag throughout the film, like when he said she was just as beautiful as he remembered in her dreams and they both cringed and tried to pretend he didn't say that.)

I think Anidala being mutual from the beginning (of their adult relationship) is better than "Padmé was mind-tricked," as it gives both characters more agency. Yes, Anidala is extremely codependent, but from both ends. Yes, Anakin is worryingly possessive, but he tries to conduct himself appropriately in social situations and is sheepish and apologetic when he crosses a line. Yes, Anakin slaughtered men, women, and children, but he's torn up with guilt over it and that tugs at Padmé's heartstrings. He demonstrates real maturity throughout the film— moments of it, anyway. This is what convinces Padmé to marry him. This is what convinces Obi-Wan and Yoda that they don't need to interfere in his relationship with Padmé, because he's shown he can be trusted to put his duty above his feelings. We know, of course, that Anakin is still just as much of a hot mess as his teachers fear he is— more, in fact. Occasional, even frequent moments of maturity do not indicate that he's actually emotionally stable or selfless or responsible, only that he has the capacity to be in certain situations.

#star wars #anidala #attack of the clones #aotc #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anakin #padme #padmakin #meta #star wars meta #anidala meta

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Spy x Family Naegiri + Izuru Kamukura AU

Kyoko Kirigiri as the spy suddenly tasked with making a family appear out of thin air. As a young girl, her father died in the early bombings and her mother, fearing for Kyoko’s safety, sent her on a train to her estranged grandfather. Said grandfather was the leader of an intelligence agency and from then on Kyoko was trained in all things related to spying. Even after her grandfather’s death she still continued with this career, believing that it was her duty to give other people a peaceful lifestyle that she will never be able to truly understand.

Makoto Naegi as the assassin who needed to swallow his moral quandaries to look after his sister. As he has gotten older he felt like he couldn’t leave because a lot of his targets were dangerous people. The current peace is so fragile, he wants to do everything he can so that more people can have hope for the future.

But who would their telepathic child be? I know Shuichi is often depicted as a naegiri baby but I don’t think he is chaotic enough to get into the same shenanigans that Anya does. What character would purposefully cause so much chaos for their own amusement?

Izuru (Kamukura) the young telepath who is desperate for anything to escape the eternal boredom. Everyone’s thoughts are so predictable. Even going to the outside world quickly become boring for the young boy.

Izuru is definitely smarter than Anya in canon, but not as smart as he is in DR. He is good at the sciences, the technical stuff and the hard rules the language and arts, but he is so apathetic that he struggles with emotional nuances in all these subjects. Perhaps the reason why scientists thought he was a failure is because Izuru didn’t care enough about what people thought and the results of the tests.

Whether he escaped or was kicked out, Izuru survives using his telepathy. He decides to use a different name to cover his tracks, calling himself “Hajime” when other people ask. Through all this, nothing reduces his boredom and he never tries to bond with anyone. He gets adopted for his intelligence and kicked out for his creepiness 4 times.

Then one day Kyoko arrives at his orphanage, and Izuru reads the most interesting mind he has ever encountered, the mind of a spy. Surely if there are any people in the world that could keep Izuru entertained, it would be the thrilling, dangerous life of a secret agent. Izuru also supposed they have something in common since Izuru created the “Hajime” identity.

The two have a different bond than Loid and Anya initially. Kyoko and Izuru initially find a decent rapport due to their naturally stoic and analytical personalities. Their first roadblock is when Kyoko has to get Izuru to do something he is not interested in (Such as studying subjects he is not interested in or befriending kids/targets). Kyoko realises the two haven’t actually been acting like parent and child before then. Kyoko buys parenting books for research and realises that Izuru’s behaviour may be a trauma response for his past. Izuru experiences an unknown emotion having an adult not throw him out when he’s being difficult. Also, Kyoko understands Izuru more than other cuz she herself can be very detached to individual problems. For Kyoko it’s due to her upbringing and because she is usually busy focusing on the bigger national issues.

In comes Makoto who takes Yor’s role as the “emotionally intelligent parent” in the family. Izuru immediately wants this harmless-looking deadly assassin under his roof, and tries to set the two adults up. Unlike Anya who sings about she wants a mama, Izuru is probably like “Hello, my mother is a single woman who is considered attractive by many people. How would you like to snatch her up before the rest of the competition.” Complete deadpan 5 year old here. Makoto and Kyoko are very shocked, but they do end up talking and eventually settle into the arrangement they do in canon.

Here Makoto acts as a stronger emotional glue to Kyoko and Izuru as the two are too stoic to develop a proper bond on their own. Makoto is also very caring towards Izuru and tries to be supportive when he knows that Izuru struggles with emotions, either his own or other people. Izuru is a soo a bit shocked by this because before he was always demonised for supposedly having no emotions but Makoto accepts Izuru just the way he is. I think Izuru quickly becomes attached even if the boy can’t explain way, and Makoto is happy to have such a cute stepson.

As for how Makoto covers his assassin skill, unlike Yor with clumsy lies, Makoto has a “talent” for disguising attacks and assassin skills as dumb luck sometimes good sometimes bad. You know that martial art that is based on the fighter being drunk while doing it? Well Makoto is similar except it’s not drunkenness but clumsiness that Makoto uses. Partly out of practice to disguise his skills, and partly due to Makoto-brand luck, it often looks like he slipped and accidentally hit someone so hard they passed out. Or he slipped, tumbled down a hill and landed on the bad guy. Kyoko never gets suspicious because Makoto’s klutziness is so extreme it can’t be faked. Surely.

Like the original all 3 grow to become a family, even if they don’t realise it for a long while. Perhaps the character who ends up with the most change by the end is Izuru turned Hajime.

I see Izuru’s in this AU like this:

In danganronpa, a boy named Hajime turns into lab creation Izuru Kamukura.

In this world, a lab creation called Izuru becomes a boy named Hajime.

#sorry I don’t know how coherent this is I’m just about to go to bed #danganronpa #spy x family #danganronpa au #spy x family au #naegiri #naegiri parenting #makoto naegi #kyoko kirigiri #izuru kamukura #hajime hinata #sort of #my post #naegiri spy x family au #izuru kamukura project #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa 1 #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa spoilers #spy x family spoilers #spyxfamily #spy family

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Nintendo-vember Level 2: Howard and Nester: How you are not supposed to pay tribute to a comic

Ahhhh, Nintendo Power. Published by Nintendo of America from 1988 till August of 2012, this magazine was part of the childhood of many Nintendo fans. A magazine that functioned as a gaming guide, advertisement for new games and just fun overall for people enthusiastic for Nintendo.

While we did not have Nintendo Power like that where I am from, we had a similar magazine called “Club Nintendo”, which ran from the 90s up till the early 2000s (2002 to be precise), after which it unfortunately got unceremoniously canceled. I had access to these issues thanks to relatives who enjoyed them a lot and honestly, I enjoyed them too. Very informative, highlighting many games and filled with some really fun comic stories here and there.

Now, Club Nintendo wasn’t entirely like Nintendo Power though. For example, among our comics in the magazine we did not have the subject of today’s post: Howard and Nester.

Now for those unaware who they are, a short explanation: Howard and Nester were the characters of a short series of comic strips from the very early days of Nintendo Power. Howard was an adult business man with a bow tie that Matt Smith may like, while Nester was a ten to eleven year old redhead NES player. In other words, he was a little shit.

Howard himself btw was based on Howard Phillips, initially a warehouse manager for Nintendo of America, who at a very young age (he was only in his 20s when he started working for Nintendo) joined the company and would play a major role in the marketing of the NES launch in America. He was also an avid videogamer of the “olden times” so to speak and was Nintendo of America’s spokesperson number uno. Liked by many within the industry, he did however eventually leave Nintendo in 1991 (at only 32 years old), to pursue careers in other companies. Which did not work out quite as well, according to Wikipedia. Though he is still hanging around, kicking, playing and working in the industry, for some german firm no one really knows about.

Man, he even looks kinda like the eleventh Doctor.

Anyway, back to the comic itself: The comic strips were essentially just meant as short, two page fillers ad would feature the caricature of Howard Phillips and Nester, the later supposed to represent Nintendo fanboys, finding themselves in environments related to a current videogame and dealing with whatever situation. Most of the time just ending in some comedic pratfall for a rather impatient Nester to suffer.

Then, after 25 strips, Howard, in relation to Howard Phillips leaving Nintendo, also left the comic, resulting in the thing ending and Nester going on some mini adventures on his own.

Now honestly, reading those strips I don’t think they are really bad. Howard as a character is rather supportive, there are small hints to games they thematically integrate in the comics here and there and some of the scenarios are kinda fun. Plus even the linework is okay for this sort of comic.

However, I genuinely think that Nester is a little bit of a shit. Especially in his first two strips.

He just comes off as smug and a bit of a know it all. Believing he is better than Howard, not grateful for any advice and trying to come off like he is an expert in the eyes of younger, impressionable kids.

Oh god, he is Dobson!

Though that may be what adds to the pratfalls he suffers then. In addition, I am a bit baffled by what games they supposedly star in or how some of the games they talk about are executed in comic.

I mean, the Ducktales comic for example has nothing to do with Ducktales really aside of the moon duck enemy thing kinda being in it (though that may have been related to Disney telling them not to use Scrooge)…

And then there is the fact, that a comic based on the Golgo 13 game was made.

You know, THE Golgo 13? The game based on the famous manga about an assassin for hire?

I mean, what next? A comic based on them in the setting of Home Sweet Home? Though that may have been cool.

It is just, I can see how the duo left some impression on early readers, but I can’t see how they could get quite the appeal, that back in 2008 Nintendo Power would release THIS comic, featuring a now adult Nester talking to his son about the good old days. A little manga-esque like tribute, some people enjoyed.

Not so much You know who though, who decided to draw instead THIS comic in order to “honor” the two and the style of the comic. And in doing so just ended up showing that he kinda never understood the character of Nester, nor the concept behind the original tribute in the first place.

So, why does the comic suck? Because it is just an excuse for Dobson to project his own shitty opinion about how Nintendo “dishonored” the origins of the characters he claims to love onto Nester. All while making also both characters accidentally come off as losers and creepy. Particularly Howard comes off as horrible in the comic. After all, based on the set up established via the first two panels, I can only assume that the guy kidnapped a ten year old boy against his will and put him into cryostasis. Separating him from his family and friends, only to thaw him up again twenty years later. And for what? To show him how far games have come since then?

I get that the comic is supposed to be a joke (though I see nothing in it that makes me laugh), but… well..

For that set up is rather unfortunate and feels more like it should be part of some existential horror story about someone finding themselves completely displaced in time and seeing, how their disappearance tore apart their loved ones. I for one rather ask myself, what happened to Nester’s parents? Were they accused of killing their son and send to prison? Did they commit suicide? Did Howard just kill them to get to Nester in the first place?

And the “motivation” to freeze him -I want to show you how games are played in the future- is just… that doesn’t even feel like a plan. I am genuinely at loss for words to explain the “logic” that Howard must have had and how none of that helps “the joke”.

Like look, the idea that Howard would e.g. pull out some magic item or machine to show Nester how in the future games are played and giving him a bit of a cultural shock only to return back to the present, feels like a set up that could have worked. But this is not the set up of this comic. This comic has Howard use an extreme measurement to achieve his goal, that comes just off as psychotic.

But hey, why bother elaborating on the ramifications of Howard having tortured a child like that (which feels like a great disservice to the real Howard Phillips), when there are games to play.

Or rather, complain about, because that is the only thing Nester does, starting from his shock at seeing Link now having blond hair.

Which is stupid as shit. I am sorry, but considering the kid had been on ice since the late 80s according to this comic, I think his first reaction to seeing game graphics from around 2008 would be “holy shit” as a result of a cultural shock. Not the fact that Link now has blond hair.

Also, way to prove how Nester is only a phony Nintendo fanboy, because he calls Pit by the name of Kid Icarus

See, little trivia bit here: The tendency of calling little Pit (btw, one of my favorite characters in the Nintendo canon ever since I played Uprising. I love that little shota) Kid Icarus, came mostly because of the awful Captain N: The Game Master cartoon from 1989, which named him by his game title. All while the game was a stable of the NES library since 1987 and Pit’s name was a stable in its freaking manual

Look for yourself: Page 7.

Also, getting riled up over Mario not being from Brooklyn when that was NEVER a point in the actual games anyway or Link’s hair color?

Hm, doesn’t that sound familiar…

Look, I am not much a fan of Nester based on the strips I saw, but it would be obvious even to Helen Keller, that Nester here is not himself. He is a stand in for Dobson and his shitty opinions on how Nintendo “betrayed” the old NES fans by making Mario and Co more marketable and ignore their “true and honest” origins. The “real” Nester based on the strips comes off to me more like someone who would freaking geek out at seeing his favorite game characters being these detailed, cartoony badasses fighting equally great villains.

After all, playing as Link who can ride on a horse and fights a giant sized pig demon? Mario throwing planets at Bowser? Mario and Link duking it out with other heroes? Seeing Pit and Palutena in Smash Bros Brawl? Which btw came out in January of 2008, so Nester complaining about not seeing Pit- oh I am sorry “Kid Icarus” would be inaccurate too.

The point I am trying to make is, that if you grew up with the bare minimum presentation some NES games had, you would be gushing over anything “modern”

Heck, considering the sort of stuff Nester played or was into in the comics, he would likely drop the Wii once he learnt about stuff like God of War, Ratchet and Clank and other “badass” and “cool” games other consoles can offer.

But no. Nester is simply overwhelmed with the concept of 3D and “realism”. Though lets be real here, I think realism in videogames is an oxymoron, independent of what console we talk about. I mean, what is e.g. “realistic” about Mario, Sonic, God of War, Final Fantasy, Resident Evil etc? I know at least half a class of biologists who cry each time a new Resident Evil scientist comes off with a new variant of the virus.

Anyway, he is so overwhelmed, he simply just wants to go back to the old days and the game he used (or rather “use”. Btw, great job at even failing at simple past tense) to play.

Only loving the Nintendo Wii once Nester tells him about the online shop and that he can play on it the same shlock he already likely has memorized before Howard put him into cryostasis and as such deprived him of a proper childhood.

Meaning that Howards “plan” to show Nester the future of gaming failed, because instead of embracing the new while also loving the old, he simply rejects the former and embraces the later even more tightly, putting it on a pedestal the same way Dobson does.

Which frankly, is one of the aspects I find the most annoying about Dobson in general when it comes to Nintendo. I get it. He grew up with the NES and I admit, the console had some really great games that build the corner stones of many franchises and the Nintendo empire.

But, and you can crucify me for saying that, by modern day standards (or heck, even standards set up by the follow up console, the SNES) the NES era was kinda bad and many games, even a lot of the classics, can’t stand the test of time as much anymore than they once did.

Before you burn me on the stake, let me explain: I myself grew up with the SNES and GameBoy as my first consoles, so I never played the NES games, even though I was aware of them through Club Nintendo. Only in recent years, thanks to the NES mini and some game collections I downloaded on the PS4, I got to play some of the classic games. And frankly, I think a lot of them suck in some regard. Like the technical limitations of the time, the at times unfair programming to make certain games extra hard and how quick you can actually get through the game once you know what to do, make some games a bit of an underwhelming experience.

Granted, unlike Dobson I will admit, that my opinion is very biased. Coming from my own love of the SNES, as well as decades of playing other games too, including sequels to many of these starter games that managed to polish up things in term of gameplay and presentation. And there is no denying, that there have still been many great games on the console by Nintendo itself, but also third party publishers such as Capcom, Squaresoft, Enix or Konami.

Kirby, Mario Bros 3, Megaman 3 up to 6, Ducktales, Castlevania 3, Contra, Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest and Earthbound are at least some titles that come to my mind.

But it was also the console that gave us stuff like the LJN published videogames, got a shit ton of unnecessary equipment like the Power Glove, established the term “Nintendo Hard” and frankly, I find myself unable to genuinely play the NES Zelda games or Kid Icarus without feeling them quite underwhelming and a bit flawed. So bottom line, I think it was important, I think good stuff came out of it, but it was only the first steps into the right direction. The NES learnt how to walk, so the Switch could run.

Dobson meanwhile worships the era like it was the greatest thing ever, never topped and shoves his opinion into Nester’s mouth. Resulting in the strip’s entire message boiling down essentially to the following:

The past was greater than what we have now and is the only thing I love. Oh, and fuck you for making me try new things.

Which is ironic, coming from the person who among other things would claim that such a behavior is toxic years later. Going onto rants how Kylo Ren is such a nostalgic nerd and criticism of “toxic fans” when he ranted about Star Wars – The Last Jedi and that critics of it are all Nazis. Even though Kylo is the one saying “let the past die”.

There is also just the fact, that the comic obviously misses the idea behind the original Howard and Nester tribute comic from Nintendo Power.

Like sure, the comic in the magazine was flawed. The manga inspired art work wasn’t that great and Nester felt like he grew up into the sort of young adult who made videos on youtube in the late 2008s, trying to emulate the AVGN by reviewing old NES games and acting like he is hardcore for enjoying “The Wizard”. All while being in reality more of a dork, especially in the eyes of a son that actually comes off as way older than he likely should be if Nester is only in his late twenties or early thirties.

But I think that was kind of the point. Making Nester more a caricature of the “gaming nerd” of the time period, while also indirectly playing a decent tribute to the old days and showing Nester having gotten older, though not necessarily wiser. But considering his kid seems to be doing okay, I doubt he is that terrible of a dad.

Which begs the question though, what is it about the comic that pissed Dobson off that much? The “manga” style? Granted, I think they could have gone more with a style akin to what the original comics had, which is the only thing Dobson has going for his page, that I can actually appreciate. But it could have been worse.

Is it the idea of Nester actually changing as a person, growing up? I mean, considering how allergic Dobson was often times to the idea of change (except when it was related to dumb reboots that may piss off republican strawmen in his head), I could actually believe that.

But if that was what pissed him off and his idea was to make a comic doing a tribute to these two the “right way”, Dobson failed miserably. Because all he did was make Howard come off like a psychopath for freezing up a kid to show him some games and Nester like a moron who can’t appreciate positive change in the media he consumes. All because Dobson was rather focused to vent his own frustration about Nintendo through their mouths, rather than respectfully draw a story with them. Something he even admitted

The artwork may be decent here, but the writing is a failed assignment.

The most ridiculous thing about that being, that either some time later or before, Dobson made a way better comic starring NEster, that actually gets the vibe of the original

And before someone claims I can only complain and not bring some alternative to the table how to execute the comic, here is what I may have done:

Start the comic as Howard and Nester in the Back to The Future NES game, supposedly having just finished it. Only for Nester to end up playing with the controls of the DeLorean and in doing so transporting him and Howard into the future. Materializing in 2008, they then learn about the actual positive things happening to videogames ever since , though Howard may also learn to some degree about the bad stuff whe he reads up an article titled “Rise and Fall of videogames” or something related to Jack Thompson). Have Nester for example geek out about Smash Bros, question what a Pikachu is, hitting himself in the head accidentally with a Wii Remote, but overall try to also give a positive message to it all.

Like Nester befriending  bunch of kids via Wii playing. The comic then ending with the two travelling back to 1988, Nester all pumped up about the prospect how great videogames will turn out in the future -perhaps also being a bit impatient at the prospect to wait 20 years to play Smash Bros Brawl again- while Howard muses about the things yet to come. The final panel perhaps being set in 2008 with an older Nester looking over a little brother who befriended by accident his younger self, challenging the younger one to a rematch he had “lost” in the past.

I know, sounds corny as fuck, but it at least would nullify the entire “I kidnapped you and froze you up” implications of the original comic by Dobson.

Now, unlike Dobson, I do not intend to leave a bitter taste in the mouth of the readers, so I want to end this post on a sweeter note by informing you about the following:

When Nintendo Power eventually ended on issue 285 in December of 2012, someone at the editorial team must have remembered Howard and Nester, because they decided to have this little two page comic in it.

Nester, drawn in the classic style, as a way more well adjusted adult than in the 2008 comic, reminiscing about the magazine that he owes his existence and had brought him many hours of joy. His son helping him accept that it may be over for the magazine, but that the enjoyment will never 100% go away. Even adding a little framed bow tie in the background of the last panel, symbolizing that in hindsight Nester likely came to appreciate Howard as more than just an annoying mentor sort of figure. All before heading out to play a new Mario game with his son. Leaving the past behind but close, while embracing the future.

A comic, that in my opinion hits on the sweet “bittersweet” spot of such things as Fullmetal Alchemist or Amphibia. Giving the “story” a proper wrap up and assuring people that it is over, but that the characters themselves in a way are -unlike Dobbear- never gone.

And if you want to read all the strips of Howard and NEster, here is a link to the archive I found for this post.

Level 2 is done. Time for some bonus round and then the next level soon. Cause now we are really going deep into his whinning over the superiority of the old Nintendo canon

#nintendo #howard and nester #nintendo-vember #andrew dobson #tom preston #video games #nes #comic #webcomics #so you are a cartoonist #syac #so you are andrew dobson #howard & nester #nintendo power #youtube #Youtube

[deeply-embarrassing]

sometimes i wonder if i'm going too far by thinking that shauna had an affair mostly because adam reminded her of jackie (his easy-going and extroverted personality, his love for her, his possessiveness of her), and because her affair paralleled with her relationship with jackie, including its toxicity (the triangulation with jeff, the mutually-consuming relationship, the wrongness of acting on her desires such as Sex or Cannibalism)......... but then i remember that adult shauna's VERY FIRST SCENE was her ""regressing"", masturbating as she watched, in her traumatized mind, jeff and jackie together (even if the reality of who she was looking at was wildly different).

without this scene (and a few others), maybe i'd buy that she slept with adam only because she wanted to "get back at jeff", because she has some sort of "cheating kink" (or at least she perceives herself this way), and because she wanted to live her teenage dream of making floppy-haired, artistic boys fall in love with her mysterious self.

but let's be for real. adult shauna excels in surrounding herself with the past, consciously or not. her trauma can be found in all areas of her life, all her surroundings, all her decisions, all her desires, all her relationships. it's in her home decoration, her clothing style, her lack of career, her marriage, her daughter. even before the past came back to threaten and haunt her explicitly (jessica's questions and taissa's campaign on television), even then, shauna was able to look at photographs and perceive completely different people from who's actually pictured. moreover, she sought it, it most probably wasn't the first time. shauna had been living and breathing in the past for 25 years, and it both tormented and comforted her, she hated and loved and wanted it.

so there's no way her relationship with jackie, which had extremely influenced her for so long now, didn't play a big role in her affair. both relationships ended with her lashing out after she realized/believed they read her journals, feeling used by someone "who was supposed to love her".

(i'm not saying adam was "just jackie" in shauna's traumatized mind. i'm saying shauna's affair with adam was a golden opportunity for her to finally go back and relive her teenage years: mostly the thrill love and joy she felt being by jackie's side, the sense of control and the boost of self-esteem of sleeping with someone you shouldn't, but also the guilt and shame she used to feel. and it's easier for shauna to be blind, to believe the affair was about affirming herself and moving on, than it would be for her to identify/accept the real reasons behind the affair. it's exactly like teenage shauna convincing herself she only slept with jeff in particular "to be her own person and to move on from jackie", blind to how the affair was also a way to link her further to jackie. that is, up until jackie was dead and her desire to merge, to be one, to always be together, had no more obstacles, completely overtaking her as jackie's low protein ear was sitting in her pocket).

#shauna shipman #yellowjackets #yellowjackets meta #ignore the typos i'm exhausted and french

[barzzal]

Be warned this is gonna be long i apologize in advance, but this is all just me giving a massive kudos to you and your work. I’m so happy to see this updated thank you for your hard work and talented writing.

*inhales*

*exhales*

After reading interlude ii for CMC and as usual I loved it to bits but also I AM SUDDENLY CONFLICTED? With BOTH SIDES????? The whole time I was like “Yeah Sidney take the fucking L” but now that we have the full detailed story of how it led up to that moment, suddenly the situation is so much more complicated. HE ACTUALLY WAS READY AT THE LAST MOMENT OH GOD HE WAS GOING TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO HER AND THE BABY HE WAS READY TO BE A PARTNER AND DAD-

And now my head is in my hands as I think: ‘Oh my god. Reader didn’t give him a chance to be a dad to Lucas for NEARLY SEVEN YEARS (even though she was justifiably pissed at him) AND HE THOUGHT HIS BABY WAS GONE’

And, please hear me out. The pregnancy and the actual birth of the baby are two different parts of the process. It’s different for everyone, but sometimes it takes a few weeks or months for the parents to feel a connection with their baby once they’re born; It’s actually quite common among parents. Same goes for the pregnancy term. It’s fucking scary, raising a child; You’re not just living your life for yourself, you’re living your life for the best interest of your child. And while there’s absolutely no excuse for Sid and his emotional distance/neglect (believe me when I say I still want to sock him in the face for his initial reaction), it does bring perspective at to why he reacted that way. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he was scared that his commitment to his career would end up hurting his kid, not being able to be there for them. Of course, dumbass man sucked at communicating that to Reader properly huh

But he did come back. He did return. He was ready to begin repenting. Lucas wasn’t even born yet and he was ready to do right by him and Reader both.

Suddenly I am now in full panic mode because once Lucas gets older enough to question why did his mom keep him away from his dad if both parents loved and wanted him from the start. And I know reader said in previous chapters that everything she did was for her son and his happiness and safety which is an absolute HELL YES THAT’S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ABOUT, but did she ever consider the possibility that keeping them both hidden away from Sid would potentially hurt all of them more than it would help? Lucas never got to meet the other side of the family; Troy and Trina never got to be grandparents, Taylor never got to be an aunt. They weren’t able to see Lucas grow up, and I just know they would’ve loved him the moment they were told of his existence.

Am I allowed to feel angry at both Sid and Reader? I am so sorry I… just love this story so much, I’ve never felt so many emotions reading before. Please correct me if I’m wrong in any way.

first of all, ily oh gosh. i never expect a comment this long from anyone but omg thank you!! i appreciate you taking the time to lmk which part/s u like/impacted u most 🥺 not lying when i say i was smiling as i read it entirely it’s truly fulfilling to come across a reader as passionate as u so endless thanks my dear 🫶🏻

second, ALL FEELINGS ARE VALID! i honestly can’t wait for them to be happy why can’t they just sit together and talk things out it’s not that hard 😭 had enough of little lukey having to bear poor adult choices!!

to clarify tho, since i’ve been mia on here and on the updates, the series was supposed to be done in 2022 😫 so our timeline for cmc would be that it’s still 2021 going 2022 (refer to teaser #3).

for everyone to be on the same page, allow me to recapitulate:

april 2015

refer to teaser #1

sidney is 27 yrs. turning 28 yrs. in aug

reader is 26 yrs.

first month of summer, 2015

june: reader finds out she’s pregnant

july: miscarriage scare; sid and reader break up before kris’ wedding

post breakup, 2015-2016

sidney wins the cup, oct 2015 to june 2016

post breakup, 2016

january: luke is born on 6th of january (kind of like his dad’s bday 8.7.87 = 1.6.16)

post breakup, 2016-2017

sidney wins another cup, oct 2016 to april 2017

post breakup, 2019

reader moves back to pittsburgh; hides sid’s son

post break up, 2021 [we’ll go back to this timeline on ch. 6]

sidney is 33 yrs. going 34 yrs. (refer to teaser #2)

reader is 31 going 32

luke is 5 yrs. a few months older than geno’s son, nikita

minimum age requirement for sid’s little penguins hockey is 5 yrs.

luke enters hockey program, meets sidney; sidney meets luke and reader

timeline for ch. 6 until stated otherwise

ANYWAY, i’m so excited we’re now on the second half of the series!!! ✨and the plot thickens✨

#lmk if u guys have suggestions and whatnot! #keep the cmc talk coming 🤍🤍🤍 #cmc

[blank-house]

hello hello!! i wanted to ask how you decided on the MC's major for the game!! was there a specific reasoning behind it?

Hi hi!

There is a reason but it’s certainly not a cute one ^^,

If you want the simple reason, it’s because I wanted to give Cameron a challenging career. So that ended up being something related to law. MC being on the same track is a byproduct since how Cam and MC met in the first place is through their shared major.

If you reallyyyyyyyyy wanna know the specific reasoning, then keep reading. But fair warning, it does touch a bit on Cameron’s story.

- - - - -

See, I’ve got friends who are currently in law school and they’ve told me how it’s been nothing short of hell. There’s a culture there that doesn’t make it easy to thrive, professors who are too tenured to care, and a workload that demands a minimum of 12 hours in the library.

The more and more I hear about how utterly terrible it is to learn and study under those pressures, the more and more I realize this is a perfect career for Cameron.

AJFJFHEHRHRRJ IT’S MEAN I KNOW but I wanted to give Cameron depth. I understand that players are most likely going to concern themselves with the love interests since we primarily marketed KF as an otome. But besides telling a love story— what I wanna do with this vn is tell a story about college students figuring themselves out before the last days of their “youth” are over.

It’s a weird point of your life we’ve plopped you in, you know? Just a couple years ago you were still considered young and immature because you were in high school. And in another couple of years you’re supposed to have your shit together and be responsible like every other adult. It’s not an easy stage, and for someone like Cameron who we’ve introduced as “The wallflower of wallflowers”, that point of their life is coming in a lot faster because they’re older than everyone else.

At some point in the story, Cameron’s not gonna be around for all of the fun times. They’ll have other things to worry about, and they’re gonna have to learn how to get through it without their friends so readily near. Law school, as hell as it is, is going to be a good place for them to grow.

And that’s the whole reason haha like I said, not cute but I think there’s a really nice lesson to explore here.

#keyframes vn #keyframes asks #cameron #check in on your law school friends you guys #they need it

[dynamightmite]

It's my own fault for going on reddit to read people's opinions about the manga (I'm sorry in advance, this is gonna be long) but I swear to God if I see one more half-assed hot take about someone hating Bakugo that effectively boils down to "overt violence being casually dismissed bad" I'm going to start smacking people over the head with a newspaper.

Like. Yeah, bro. That's literally it. I mean, it's kind of hard to talk about the violence inherent in the system without, y'know, showing you the violence inherent in the system. It's almost like Bakugo was being used as a vehicle to get that message across from an early point (Deku vs. Kacchan 1, specifically) in a way that is mitigated by circumstance so that it can later be dissected and eventually forgiven.

The entire purpose of characters like Bakugo and Endeavor is to show the audience the cracks in Hero Society's shiny facade that will eventually lead to its downfall. In fact, it's framed as being inevitable; hero society actively selects for competetive, ambitious, powerful people, and the obvious end result is heroes like Endeavor. Like what Bakugo could have been without intervention. The implication, however, isn't that characters like Bakugo and Endeavor are inherently evil, but began from a point where their actions and goals were understandable, if not admirable, but eventually devolved based on the encouragement they got from the system.

The big difference between them is Endeavor is a character who didn't recognize the flaws in hero society until it was too late, whereas Bakugo did. Unlike Endeavor, Bakugo is designed to be forgiveable. He's a child, he's placed in a situation that frequently encourages violence between unpracticed children who have questionable control of their quirks, he's got a quirk that can almost exclusively be used as a form of excessive force, and he has a lot of personal issues that stem from the society he grew up in.

Like it doesn't strike you as relevant that Bakugo attacking Midoriya was put in the context of them being in a facility designed for children to fight in, at a school specializing in teaching children to fight as part of their future career? Under supervision of an adult hero who chose not to stop them from fighting when he could have? When Midoriya and Bakugo both have equally destructive quirks and, if they had actually wanted to kill each other, they absolutely could have, considering Bakugo's control of his quirk and Midoriya's comparative lack? You don't think maybe, just maybe, there was an underlying purpose to that?

Now, Bakugo is supposed to be like Endeavor in the sense that you see how, from a young age, these types of people can appear and become heroes despite their flaws and the dangers they can pose to the people around them, and why it is so important that they have some kind of early intervention to prevent them from taking advantage of a position of authority for their own gain. Can you imagine if there was no Midoriya for Bakugo to measure himself against, and find himself lacking? If nobody showed him how to hold himself accountable? He probably would have ended up being the kind of hero who only cares about winning in the sense of coming out on top, rather than doing so to protect people. Instead, the manga basically provides a step-by-step instruction manual on how to evaluate your life choices and appropriately atone for past misconduct. It has Bakugo choosing to work towards compassion and empathy as a motivator, as opposed to following Endeavor's path towards attempted greatness, which is framed as being the correct choice, because, well—it is.

"But the narrative sometimes still glorifies violence—" for fuck's sake, yes, I know. And guess what, it does become convoluted by the narrative's mixed attitude towards violence. I am not the first person to acknowledge that a lot of BNHA's worldbuilding and general themes contradict each other, nor will I ever be the last. Horikoshi is not exactly a master class on writing critiques of society, okay, and a pacifist superhero story has some fundamental problems that aren't really addressed or worked out in the manga. None of that negates how important it is to have a main character like Bakugo, who visibly and consistently struggles with trying to learn how to be a good person in a system that is set up to allow him to succeed without having to make any real changes to himself. That matters. Not only because it shows the flaws in hero society, but because it helps acknowledge how baked-deep societal ideologies can become, and how incredibly difficult and unrewarding it can be to break out from them. If all the characters were like Deku—ready to throw himself out of the mold at a moment's notice and be aggressively compassionate all over everyone—there wouldn't really be a conflict for the story to deal with. Just because Bakugo's character development can be painful at times doesn't mean it's not important for it to occur the way that it does.

#bnha #bakugo #bnha meta #bkdk #i guess

[anewnewcrest]

What mods do you use for this save, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m assuming MCCC to override the household member limit, but anything else?

And how much autonomy do you allow these nincompoops? For example: did David Johnson autonomously start flirting with Henrietta, or did you script that? I’d be very impressed if you have entire storylines written out in advance, but managing to turn sim AI into a coherent plot also takes mad skills.

Just for my own amusement: do you have a favorite family/sim atm?

Thank you for asking, please feel free to ignore my incoming ramble, I am constitutionally incapable of keeping things short (but you read the blog, so you probably already know that).

I use MCCC to override the household limit and increase the limit of sims allowed on a lot up the wazoo so I can get everyone assembled at church or the Johnsons' house. I also double the bills and half skill gains and career performance gains (and in some cases just stop career progression entirely if it doesn't suit the story), because the game makes it too easy to accumulate wealth, and them all being rich and not struggling with finances would really take the fun out of the Fundies (and really, with their education, they're not supposed to get promoted anyway).

For the religion content, I use Rambunctious Religions.

For screenshot purposes, I also have pose player and teleport any Sim (obviously), in addition to that Control Any Sim (invaluable if you have people from other households who just won't do what you want them to), Less Musical Chairs and No Stand Up to Greet from LittleMsSam, and a few mods that remove effects such as food sparkles and floor sparkles and sparkles around heads and other cosmetic things similar to that, as well as a few to turn off fade on trees and columns.

As for things peculiar to Fundie gameplay, with as often as everyone is pregnant, LittleMsSam's Pregnancy Overhaul is also a must, because if those ladies can't exercise during their pregnancies, they'll never exercise. I also got the Unlimited Jobs mod from Turbodriver because if you've got eleventy kids, one job really doesn't cut it, and you need a side job for your side job. Also a mod for them to keep their instruments in their inventory because these kids are always practicing the violin and keeping their instruments in any semblance of order is a chore. And Adults can Cry which is obviously critical for them to express their misery with their choices.

There's also a lot of modest clothing CC (even though I try to keep it rather minimal - I rarely succeed). And I recently installed Healthcare Redux to spice up the whole thing a bit, because I was getting a bit bored with gameplay lately.

As for how much autonomy they have... very little, I'm afraid! I'm a bit (more than a bit) of a control freak, and I have a large SPREADSHEET where everything is accounted for. I usually have a Sims' general life direction planned out before they're even born (so I can start giving them the personality they need for their plot starting as young as toddlers, and also so I can start dropping story hints), though sometimes they do surprise me (Chelsea leaving was not planned that way, she was set to get married and have a lot of Fundie kids, but then she rebelled so hard and I liked her so much that I just couldn't do that to her, and Sharon Graham was supposed to be a Fundie lawyer lady in a politically influential Fundie power couple... but then I couldn't do that to her parents).

Stories shift around as they develop and I get to know them (honestly, I thought Baker and Lily would be a boring standard-issue Fundie couple together and then I wrote them and I realized all the issues they have from the way they grew up and I couldn't just not add that to their relationship dynamic!) and see how much I like them or not, and whether I'm having fun with them, whether they get along, or if it would be weird for them to end up together, and I also have a long, long list of ideas to draw from if I totally draw a blank with a kid (which does happen). As for Henrietta, she was made for having an affair with David, quite literally, the poor woman.

As for my current favorites... I really like Mark and Kathryn Graham a lot, because they're some of the very few decent folks I currently have in the game, and Mark's just living his best life right now. And on the other end of the spectrum, I'm absolutely, ridiculously excited about Priscilla Sawyer (née Johnson) starting her arc, because while she's not a good person, she will be so much fun, and rebelling hardcore against the Fundie wife mold. Max Sr. and Jr. have no idea what's going to hit them.

#behind the scenes

[bookishfeylin]

Anon who brought up Rhys needing be added in here: I know, I know. I’m just frustrated that there are so few receipts because most of the surviving ones are ones that are more pro-SJM being a “literary genius” than the ones where she implicates herself… which ironically should have more proof since it’s quite literally in every single thing she’s involved in. So thank you for wanting and finding receipts! 🥹 It makes me feel crazy because I know I remember this stuff, but since I don’t have the things to back it up no one ever believes me. 🥲

But I’ll say this as someone who has been here since her debut and was a hardcore stan with a fan page dedicated to her. (Deleted now, unfortunately. 😩) The thing about SJM is that she is a pathological liar. (I’m pretty sure she even admitted to being a huge liar when she was younger once in an interview, along with the fact that she was a “weird” kid because she was into fantasy and nerdy stuff (sounds a lot like not like other girls syndrome that’s trickled to her characters oop.) You can’t read/watch/listen to one interview by her, you have to read/watch/listen to them all. You have to go through her twitter (which she wasn’t active on for long) and her instagram (which she isn’t active on for long) and her tumblr and her livejournal (all or most of which aren’t even up anymore I think. It’s been a while since I checked). Because she would throw in random facts that she later tried to hide (irl retcon anyone?). This is why newer readers are at a disadvantage. They don’t know all of this because it’s pretty much scrubbed from the internet (…suspiciously) with few saved screenshots or transcripts. (Though tbh, I highly doubt they would care even if it was all still out there. They’d probably still be like damn, that’s crazy.. so anyway!)

SJM in the beginning of her career was a lot more loud mouthed than she is today. She revealed a lot during those days, including but not limited to her stating that she doesn’t plan, that she changes the stories’ endings even as they were being published, etc. She started getting more quiet when she started getting more criticism for her harmful work and then when dick soap gate dropped, and she fully started being called out for having adult content in YA, and more and more authors and booksellers and fans started alluding to her horrendous behavior behind the scenes (calling Bardugo fat and making fun of her disability, her whole toxic relationship with Dennard, her disregard for her fans when they asked her basic questions like if TOG would have a lesbian couple endgame because of the way their relationship was written in the fourth book and she rolled her eyes or hustling a fan along when she saw that she had scars on her face like she was embarrassed to be seen speaking to that fan, etc), that was her nail in the coffin for her social media presence. That was when she all but left the internet, started charging extra for her signings, pretty much stopped the book signings in favor of pre-signing books, started having what questions she could be asked moderated and even those are limited to how many are asked to the point where now every single one of her interviews ask the same questions with the same (mostly scripted) answers, etc.

Also pro tip: Whenever SJM says her books keep getting longer, it’s not because she following a story. It’s because she’s changed it and now has to write retcons to fit it. See: TOG originally being a trilogy like the original version she wrote on ficpress… and then it expanding by three more when she decided to change the endgame and having to change the rest of the story to put them together and then expanding it by one more book after she received backlash for cutting out the pov o a character who was a main character in the first four books and was then character assassinated in favor of said endgame love interest (which was also supposed to be a novella, not a full length book that you had to read in order to continue on with the series, but as she introduced a character literally not one single person heard of in the first three books as part of the character assassination, she had to do something with her too) (All my TOG girlies, listen I love Nesryn but you can’t sit here and tell me she serves anything to the plot other than being a romantic plot device to try to get Chaolaena shippers who still had hope to jump ship and since people weren’t buying that (because Nesryn literally didn’t exist until that fourth book), she set him up with Yrene instead). See ACOTAR originally being a trilogy. I’m pretty sure Crescent City was also supposed to only be a trilogy, but somewhere it expanded to more books. The only difference with Crescent City is that it seems like she figured that out before it was published, not after, although with the second book it does seem like she, again, scrapped whatever she set up in the first book in favor of creating a story where she could converge CC and ACOTAR. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TLDR: SJM is a bad author on and off page.

Oh yeah! And in her most recent ACOSF interview she also said she rewrote the second book from the original version (though she was trying to say she was setting up what she had planned in acosf since then which is bull lmao it’s more like she reread acomaf and decided to play around with something because we know from acofas she’d planned an illyrian rebellion for nesta’s book and that was scrapped)

Well that's disappointing. :/ Definitely a white feminist then.

The funny thing is, I have receipts that show Throne of Glass was changed (the wiki acknowledges the original Queen of Glass fanfiction Sarah wrote, and a booktuber made a video on it after reading the fanfiction. Apparently it was, as you said, originally a trilogy, and it ended up with Dorian x Celaena, not Rowan x Aelin, and changing the endgame ship meant she had to add more books and plot to the original to fit Rowan in), but ACOTAR receipts are harder to come by (probably because it was never a fanfiction.)

And now I almost want to go to that ACOSF interview just to find her saying she rewrote ACOMAF, because boy would that send this fandom into a tizzy. ACOMAF is ~the sacred book~ and heaven forbid Sarah change it for any reason.

But we do know a few things that also point to ACOTAR 2 being... very very different from ACOMAF:

-First and foremost, her newsletter where she admits to scrapping ACOTAR two and keeping the romantic arcs (interesting she said romantic arcs and not love interest. Hmmmmm) but "starting over" which caused the plot to "explode in ways she hadn't imagined." (and stans are already being testy in the notes there. Hooooo boy. I'm sorry, OP!!!).

-Her old comment saying Nesta and Lucien were the og ship and that she changed it to Elain and Lucien (if Elucien DOESN'T happen, then, that's just one more receipt for you and me :) ) and that Nessian were not a thing until Nesta and Cassian met at that dinner table. This suggests that most of the plot of ACOTAR 2 was not Night Court centric, given Nesta wouldn't be interacting with anyone in the Night Court and therefore wouldn't have a chance to meet and fall in love with Cassian.

As it is, we'll never truly know what the original plot was. We don't even know how many times she's changed ACOSF! Until more interviews and newsletters are found/dug up where she admits to changes, we're just going to have to guess at what the original plot was. But hints here and there suggest the ACOTAR series was originally very, very different, and given Sarah's track record with her other series, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire plot was changed to make her endgame ship sail.

#anti sjm #ask #anon #anti acotar #anti acomaf #acotar retcons #acotar analysis

[beck-a-leck]

What are your headcanon ages for the main character, bachelors, and bachelorettes from Rune Factory 4?

oh my gosh I started answering this like a week ago and then it fell through one of the swiss cheese holes in my brain. Sorry Nonny!

I don't really have any hard headcanons about the rf4 character ages, and really what I do have is just kind of a general age range for them. But if you're curious about how the characters read to me maturity-wise I'll tell you.

Frey/Lest - I think they're in their early 20s, somewhere between 19-23 at the beginning of the game. the amnesia helps them have a bit more of the "youthful innocence" that just comes as being that age. Like you can clearly tell they're grown and responsible enough to have been given the story-compelling mission in the first place, but that also have the energy and optimism of someone who still sees the world as completely open to possibilities without as much of the "i need to have my shit together" vibes an older 20-something might have

Amber and Kiel are the ones I headcanon as the youngest, and they both give me very strong late-teens/babey adult vibes. I don't see them any older than 19 at the beginning of the game. And depending on when in the RF world society would consider someone a Full Adult TM, it can change the lower end of that age range, so even to 16 or 17. They're not children, but they're still kids, if that makes sense. They both still have "parental" figures in their lives so they're not entirely independent as an older adult might be.

Forte, though I actually don't think is too much older than Kiel, she's maybe just a few years older than him. So about the same age as Frey/Lest, early 20s, no older than 25. I think given her family history and her general character she was definitely the girl who had to grow up too fast and has acted more mature than other kids her age needed to. So she can very easily be read as older, but I think there's enough clues in her dialogue and her character to show that she's younger than she wants people to perceive her as.

I get the same general age range from Vishnal and Clorica too, 19-25 though probably closer to college ages. Vishnal I think is the younger of the two butlers. Their roles as apprentices and the fact that they're still in training tells me they're probably still rather young adults. I imagine butler training of the caliber they're going through is a 4-6 year ordeal and I imagine they would have started in their late teens/early 20s, much like most people choosing a career path.

Xiao Pai and Doug are the last of the under 25s. It's hard to know Doug's precise age, given he's not human and dwarves are long-lived in the RF world. So while he might look and act like a hot-headed 19-22 year old, he might be 60-70 years old. They've never really spelled out the lifetimes of the non-human races. Xiao Pai I tend to read as on the younger end of her 20s, but given the way she acts and her general clumsiness (which are often associated with younger people) she could also be older than that. It's hard to say.

Margaret is another one of those ambiguously ages characters, being an elf, we don't actually know how old she is. But I definitely read her as an adult in her mid-late 20s. I think she's the eldest-coded bachelorette, so I could even see her as a 30-something. (I genuinely don't think any of the bachelorettes are supposed to be older than 30 because god knows the developers would have had them complaining about being an old maid and a spinster 🙄) She just reads as a character who has had much more worldly experience than the younger girls, and yeah, some of that can be attributed to the fact that she's had Decades more time and lots of freedom than the others, but she also feels more settled into life and adulthood than a younger character would.

Dolce I think is mid-20s. I can't really explain it, but she just gives me "I'm 25 and I've finally felt my brain chemistry solidify" vibes. I do think what she went through in her life, as well as dealing with an eternally youthful and chaotic spirit of Pico probably made her act more mature than she was, much like Forte, but I also do think she's just a little bit older than most of the other marriage candidates in town.

Dylas and Arthur I think are around the same age, mid-20s. Arthur I could push to late-20s, but there's something about his character that makes me go "oh no, he still has that independent streak of the young 20s" I do think his upbringing also forced maturity onto him at a younger age than would otherwise be expected, but he also took on responsibilities that people might not expect someone so young to do (he also shirked the responsibilities he didn't want to do, so again that independent/rebellious streak) Dylas I think acts younger than he really is, though he's really not all that old. I think he got to spend a several years living as an adult in his original time before becoming a guardian, though he didn't really see himself as 'grown' back then and that carried over to how he behaves in game (with additional traumas)

Which brings us to Leon as the last, I think. He's the one I could possibly see being the oldest of all the bachelors, late-20s to early-30s. In his life before becoming a guardian he has established a whole vocation and had been in it long enough to become a high-ranking priest. Even if he had started his vocational training as a young teen, I don't think he could have gotten as far without spending a good portion of his 20s working at it.

So the tl;dr list:

Lest/Frey: 19-23

Amber: 16-19

Clorica: 22-26

Dolce: 24-28

Forte: 22-25

Margaret: 25-30

Xaio Pai: 20-25

Arthur: 24-28

Doug: 19-24

Dylas: 24-28

Kiel: 16-19

Leon: 27-33

Vishnal: 20-24

#replies #anonymous #rune factory 4 #rf4

[free-for-all-fics]

Namor and Attuma at the beach/swimming pool AU prompts. Some of these are really stupid and silly but I regret nothing. Pls tag me if you get inspired by or write any of these, I’d love to read it. 💜

1. Thinking about that cliche “Woman lets man put sunscreen on her body for her and it’s supposed to be sexy” thing except it’s Namor or Attuma rubbing his hands all over reader’s skin while he’s applying the sun screen and they’re just spending time on the beach together. Of course reader would return the favor if Namor/Attuma asked.

2. Namor/Attuma treating reader’s sunburn/sun damaged skin because she burns easily/forgot to put sunscreen on/accidentally fell asleep outside.

3. Baywatch AU where Namor/Attuma is a sexy lifeguard and every time you look at him, the world slows down. He’s so sexy, it’s like he runs in slow motion any time he comes to the rescue of a beach goer. You debate pretending to drown just to get his attention. Yeah this is dumb and no I’ve never seen a single episode of Baywatch.

4. Thinking about Namor or Attuma being a dad and doing dad things, like teaching their kid how to ride a bike. Except the bike is a dolphin 🐬. And then teaching their kid how to drive a car when they’re a teen/adult. Except the car is a whale 🐋.

5. Every day you practice holding your breath, for just a little longer than usual every time. After being "saved" by a lifeguard you learnt that humans aren't meant to hold their breath for nearly an hour.

6. One day while swimming at the beach you drown and die. Then you wake up on land, resuscitated by a lifeguard. But now that you are back, you have a strange urge to breathe in water. Unable to hold the urge back, you try it and something happens.

7. You work as a lifeguard at the Dead Sea and wonder why your job even exists. Just as you're about to fall asleep, people start drowning, as if being pulled under by an unseen force.

8. You’re taking a bath when suddenly Namor bursts into your bathroom claiming to be a lifeguard here to protect you from the "sharks". At first you resist, “It’s two feet deep, man!” but you soon see something lurking in the bathwater. (Yeah this is an AU based on that lifeguard “I’m not at the beach this is a bathtub” porn meme. Maybe the “shark” is Attuma. Attuma and Namor as pornstars AU. Just embrace the sexy stupidity of it.🛟)

9. You're swimming off the coast of Wakanda when suddenly all the waves in the water stop. You hear whistles blow and people scream as a lifeguard yells, "Get out of the water! The serpent god is approaching!"

10. You accidentally summon an old god while playing with pool noodles.

11. After a short career as a model, you're tired of not being taken seriously. One day you quit to start a new life with your dream job- picking up trash and cleaning up the beach. You didn’t expect to encounter Namor/Attuma while on the job. He’s come to thank you for saving the hatching sea turtles, among other things.

12. You've never been invited to a beach party before and as soon as you touch the water, everyone else can see your imaginary friend, Namor/Attuma, rising from the shadows of the waves. At least, you thought he was imaginary. He’s upset you stopped coming to visit and that you haven’t called him on the conch shell.

13. You prefer to swim laps alone in the middle of the night as it helps you think and have found a way into the local pool after hours. You pause in the shadows of the shallow end and hear a splash at the other end. Three armed men in suits are watching someone struggle at the bottom of the pool.

14. Possible Fae AU: You come to and find yourself not alone in a clearing in the woods. You’re mesmerized by the blue skinned people as they sing and dance around the pool of water in the night, with their jet black hair, and beautiful dark brown eyes, laughing and playing happily as can be. Their king uses his winged ankles to fly towards you. His loving smile is entrancing as he motions for you to come over.

15. Cocoon AU: Residents of a retirement home discover their swimming pool is filled with vital energy from Talokan, giving their elderly bodies the same ability and vigor as when they were teenagers.

16. You're an immortal who lives at a beach resort. You have many summer flings with mortals on getaways. One day you see someone you had a hot romantic night with 50 years ago. He looks exactly the same.

17. On break from college, you take a summer job at the beach. Making friends is not your thing but there's one guy who's different than most. He's bookish and not at all cool. The social scene at college can be so destructive and he's not trying to one-up you. By the end you are so much more. (Maybe AU where Namor assumes a “Clark Kent” secret human identity. Maybe he goes by Tenoch in this AU idk.)

18. AU where Namor is believed to be a cryptid/myth: When you chatted with that Tenoch guy on tinder, you thought the K’kul’kan cosplay with the elf ears and ankle wing shoes in his profile pic was nerdy and a bit funny. Then you meet him on the beach, and realize it wasn't a cosplay, as the actual feathered serpent god himself stands before you, a dozen water flowers in his hands and a picnic dinner laid out.

19. Post-battle AU: Namor with a broken ankle meets reader, a beached mermaid with a wounded tail. Restricted from their usual activities, they find solace in each other's company as they tend to each other’s wounds.

20. Some beaches have groups of Sea Lions, but our little town has Talokanil hanging out on the piers, especially when the sun is out. Bit of a local nuisance, but they bring us fish and other good things to eat during winter or in times of hardship, in exchange for keeping their existence secret. We benefit from mutual protection, so we’re all good. Just don't get too close. They will try to drown anyone who makes them feel threatened.

21. You are taking a family vacation on the beach, when you see the lady next to you fill a water bottle up with seawater and later notice her drinking from it.

22. As you're walking down a secluded part of a beach, you spot something large and blue wrapped in fishing wire, peaking through a pile of rocks. Thinking it a washed up dolphin, you approach the rocks and see that it's a Talokanil and he’s/she’s scared.

23. As a child your parents often took you to the beach, until one day they suddenly stopped. When you asked about it, your parents said the sea had become dangerous for you. Years later, you head to the beach yourself. When your feet touch the water, your legs start to tingle.

24. The Bachelor sort of AU: The 5 remaining girls head to the beach house at Innsmouth. They've all got brains. They've all got beauty. Four of them will be given the great honor of keeping the sun alive and shining bright in its constant war against darkness. With their sacrifices in body and blood to the revered feathered serpent god, K'uk'ulkan, they will keep the sun moving across the sky and preserve the very lives of the Talokanil. Only one will become his chosen mate. Whomever he chooses will be given godly gifts, such as immortality and the ability to bend water to her will. She will take her place upon the throne as his eternal wife. But who among these women has that special something worthy of representing the nation of Talokan as Queen? Four will give their still-beating hearts to him. K'uk'ulkan will only give his heart to one.

25. You're resting on a sandy beach with a bucket of iced beers, when Namor/Attuma emerges from the waves. He sits down next to you, grabs a beer, cracks it open, and takes a swig. He sighs and says, "You would not believe the day I've had."

26. This year the beach was cold, wet, and miserable. The girl not too much older than you in the house next door was nice though. So when you saw her out on the beach in the middle of the night in a rainstorm wearing only a nightdress, you had to investigate.

27. Reader and Attuma, childhood friends, are sitting on the beach together. One of them is about to confess, when suddenly the ocean rumbles. Namor emerges from the waves, looks at you both and says "Aha, so THIS is where you've been!" Ugh, he’s so embarrassing! Can’t believe your father followed you here and ruined the moment. Namora swore she wouldn’t tell! Can’t a princess get some privacy around here?

28. After being teased by your high school swim team about your fear of open bodies of water, you attempt to prove them wrong by trying to swim in the nearby beach. You start to drown but are luckily saved by a cute man. "Hey, are you alright? I thought the other humans were going to help you out?"

29. "Never swim too deep into those waters," my father used to say, "never be the furthest from the shore." I never understood why until today.

30. You breach the surface and swim over to the diving boat. As you climb into the boat you notice the instructor and captain slumped over each other in a sort of lifeless embrace. You take off your mask and instantly realize you can't breathe the air of the surface world anymore.

31. You and a friend go on a camping trip to a hidden lake. Your friend goes swimming, and when they dive down, they never surface again. Instead, a strange woman you've never seen before crawls ashore. Upon seeing you, she declares: "The feathered serpent god accepted the exchange! I'm finally free!"

32. While swimming away from your friends on a camping trip, you find Namor stranded high on the sand. He’s too hot/dried out to move, and asks for your help to get back into the water.

33. Mafia/mob AU: An agent is sent to the beach to find you, the much younger wife of a mafia boss. You’re in a purple bikini on a towel some meters away, in the arms of Namor, your secret lover. You catch the agent looking at you from a distance and don’t seem to care about his presence as Namor rubs sunscreen over your skin and makes love to you in the sand. Too far away to tell who you’re with, the agent tries to shoot Namor, but the god deflects the bullet with his arm without breaking eye contact with you.

Namor kisses you before flying over and punching the agent so hard that he flies a few feet into the air and skids through the sand. Namor drags the agent back and forces him to watch your lovemaking. (Maybe he’s brutal and drives his spear through the agent’s hand to pin it to the ground. Idk. Just a “Tell your boss this is how you please a woman” power move/show of dominance type thing). The agent finally looks away in embarrassment. When he looks back again, you and Namor are both gone and all that’s left are two sets of footprints leading from your abandoned towel to the ocean.

34. Sort of Old God/Ancient Mythology AU: Reader goes to a nude beach for the first time by herself, where she meets and makes conversation with other friendly beach goers. Everything seems normal until the sun reaches its highest point in the sky, and tens (or hundreds) of blue skinned people wearing strange oxygen masks rise from the ocean. Reader thinks some sort of attack is about to take place, but is instead shocked when everyone pairs off. A sort of ritualistic orgy seems to be going on, as she watches the beach goers engage in intimate activity with the strangers from the sea. Turns out the “is your beach body ready?” advertisement she saw refers to whether you’re ready to partake in a group mating ritual that’s said to bring humans prosperity, protection, and lifespan extension. In exchange, the Talokanil hope to create a new hybrid species so that their kind may one day be able to walk freely among the land without turning blue or without the use of masks. They want to reclaim the surface world that was stolen from them.

Suddenly everyone pauses and goes silent as they make a path for a man with pointed ears and winged ankles. They kneel in respect as he makes his way towards you. You can tell by his layers of jewelry and air of authority surrounding him that this is their king, their god. He first holds your face with both hands, caressing your cheeks and hair. His hands slowly go down as he feels and squeezes your breasts and hips, as if inspecting them. Finally he rests his palm on your stomach and wraps his other hand around your neck to press his forehead to yours. He speaks in a language you don’t understand, but nevertheless it dawns on you what he wants you for.

#namor x reader #attuma x reader #namor imagine #attuma imagine #random fic ideas #fic ideas #pls tag me if you write this #some of these i got from reddit so i can’t take all the credit #don’t examine these too closely #some of these are just silly little brain nuggets #stupid silly fun