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normadeathmond · 4 years

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the spanish princess ep 2 thoughts

I’ve been enjoying all the reaction posts so here’s mine (spoilers included):

- I’ve had kind of a revelation this week regarding The Spanish Princess. This show is basically the modern day version of those dubiously accurate medieval historical chronicles. Not only do we have extra supernatural elements (the cuuuuurse, prophetic dreams), but we also have the contemporary authors’ personal biases inserted all over the place, and the addition of mythical stories about the heroes (Catherine fighting at Flodden this week). For some reason, this has made me a lot more forgiving towards the show. (it probably also helps that my fave Maggie B is dead now, so I don’t have to worry about them shitting all over her anymore, and I don’t have a particularly strong attachment to any of the other historical figures depicted)

- erm wtf, did anyone else catch that scene with Maggie and Edmund de la Pole in the previously on that we’ve never seen before?? I guess this plotline was supposed to be included in episode one as well, which probably would’ve helped it feel a bit more developed and less like something they suddenly remembered had to be tied up from last year. The whole sequence of Edmund being reintroduced and killed off in less than five minutes was very rushed.

- I’m glad baby Henry’s death hasn’t been totally forgotten, but do we really need so many grief-stricken sex scenes between these two? These are supposed to be the years they’re deeply in love, let them have some happier sex

- ehh I’m not sure that Catherine’s big reveal to the council actually changes much. A very early pregnancy, possibly with a girl, doesn’t really make the line secure. I think the focus should have been on Henry’s own desire to prove himself in battle, which would also have added to the humiliation when Catherine successfully defeats the Scots while his military exploits fizzle out.

- I really like General Howard, Peter Egan is fantastic (albeit a bit too polished for a grouchy, uncouth soldier type)

- “and now this book is closed” - god I hope so, bc I hate Maggie’s plotline from last year. It was interminable watching her whinge about how unfair it was that the Tudors suspected her of plotting against them because she had always been the most loyal person ever, as though she was suffering from some kind of selective memory loss about literally being a spy for the Yorkist rebellion in The White Princess. ffs Maggie can be either a completely innocent woman unfairly maligned by the Tudors or she can be a badass Yorkist rebel, not both.

- it seems her memory problems are back this episode because she goes storming off to complain to Catherine about Edmund de la Pole getting his head chopped off, conveniently forgetting than she was also heavily involved in his plot and her family is only out of the Tower thanks to Catherine interceding for her with Henry. Catherine was 100% in the right here, Edward of Warwick was innocent whereas Edmund de la Pole was a fully cognisant adult who spearheaded a revolt to take the throne (and likely would’ve had both Henry VII and Henry VIII killed if he had succeeded), so the idea that she’s suddenly heartless because she apologised for the former’s death but not the latter’s is ridiculous. The whole scene, including Maggie’s kids’ ‘whoomp here she goes again’ reactions, unintentionally have her coming off as rather hysterical.

- hopefully the rest of her story this season focuses on her mending her relationship with her sad silent son instead and possibly getting her leg over Thomas More

- ahhh Lina’s face when Catherine bitchily says she’ll be having a girl. Catherine’s not going to be able to stop herself from lashing out at her now that she has twin boys.

- first the clothes comment last episode, now they have Ursula saying Charles may not be good-looking but he’s rich as fuck. I guess she’s being set up as a gold-digger.

- is it just me or does the Anne Boleyn’s actress look a little bit like Charlotte Hope? The dress they had her in when Henry returns even looks like something Catherine would’ve worn in season one. I’ve no idea why they’ve brought the Boleyn girls in this early though – are they going to be sent to France then come back later? Henry still has to make his way through Anne Hastings, Bessie Blount and Mary Boleyn before he gets to Anne. The episode summaries make it look like his infidelities won’t start until episode four so he’s going to have to have a new girl every episode to get through them all.

- I’ve kind of come around on the whole Catherine-in-armour thing. Frock Flicks wrote an interesting article this week where they pointed out that while historically battle armour for women did not exist and women very rarely wore armour, depictions of women in armour have been around for a long time and would have existed in the Tudor period. In this pseudo-historical retelling of Catherine’s story mythologizing her as a warrior queen, it does make sense to carry on that visual tradition and have her armoured up.

- Unfortunately I think they did kind of undermine the visual impact of the armour on screen by focusing on it so heavily in the promos for the season. Possibly it wouldn’t have affected a casual viewer so much, but anyone who’s followed the show’s promo cycle has been seeing pictures and clips of Catherine in the armour for weeks now, and when she entered stomping down the corridor in her full battle gear it didn’t blow me away like the first look at that outfit should have done.

- I know this series is never going to have the budget of Game of Thrones, but Flodden was a disappointment, from the rousing speech (“mothers are warriors too, amirite ladies?”) to the battle itself. You can tell they really wanted this to be their big epic action sequence and unfortunately it felt underwhelming. I remember the battles in TWQ/TWP being much more impressive, for what was probably a similar budget.

- as soon as I saw how heavily pregnant Lina was this episode, I knew a birth/battle juxtaposition was coming. I get what they were trying to do with the whole ‘childbirth is women’s battlefield’ theme, but the attempt to fake-out Lina’s death fell flat - there’s no way they were killing her off. (I’m not sure why she was giving birth in the hallway, with apparently no midwives, but it was inadvertently hilarious watching Maggie - the only one with any childbirth experience - try and talk her through it while the other three were basically no help at all.)

- also everyone being like “omg Princess Mary you can’t possibly be at the birth” felt so out of place given that Meg and Catherine were both hanging around a battlefield at the same time

- on the one hand I did like that Catherine didn’t end up being some amazing warrior just off instinct; she’s almost immediately pulled off her horse, staggers around looking confused as fuck and then is shocked when she actually kills someone. But on the other, what was the point of all the warrior queen build up if she barely even does anything useful on the battlefield? (also why did they have her kill someone who looked so much like James?? I’ve seen several people think she killed James herself and I thought that too until he was shown being taken down afterwards - it was needlessly confusing)

- JAAAAMES. I’m so sad he’s gone. Georgie Henley knocked it out the park this episode, especially in her big mourning scene. Although given how sweet he and Meg were this episode, and her comment about him being her best friend, it just makes the punch last episode seem even stranger.

- I’m so sad we were robbed of seeing Catherine try to send James’ corpse to Henry as a victory gift and have to be talked into sending just the coat. If you’re going to make her ride out in armour let her keep her savage penchant for gruesome war trophies!

- oop, Catherine absolutely fails to sell the lie that she’s pleased about Lina’s two boys, and Lina can definitely tell.

- with Maggie B gone, Wolsey is the new evil religious cockblocker in town!

- I would like twenty more scenes of Lina and Oviedo being cute and bitching about their work days thanks

- I like Catherine defending Howard to Henry. It would have been nice if there was more time to show the development of a begrudging respect between those two.

- overall I found this episode disappointing. The big sequences weren’t impressive in the way last week’s were and there weren’t enough character moments to make up for that. I’m still looking forward to the rest of the season though, especially Meg, Mary and Maggie’s storylines.

#the spanish princess

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

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What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #fool if you thought I wouldn't jump on the whole 'being a rebel is in my blood' opportunity to bring up Clarence #I was delighted last time when people left comments and stuff #rofl #so yeah #Please please I love discussions and do not think twice before sending me an ask or commenting !#lady plantagenet's series reviews #the dialogue remains a bit trite #the sugared grape counterpart for this episode was edmund's death and the whole ironic reference to Senenca and stoicism #not because the dialogue around edmund's death was particularly poignant but how conspicuously quiet and swift the whole affair was as #...as compared to previous york pretender plotlines left a mournful note #basically I feel like I keep focusing on stuff the show doesn't want me to focus on #and am projecting therefore

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mocacheezy · 4 years

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(forgot to actualy post this when I first wrote it, anyways, rechecked the info with the help of wiki, so have my thoughts on TFA Megatron (S1))

So I finished the first season of Transformers Animated, and let me just… Let me just EXPRESS my feelings for TFA S1 Megatron and the shit that happens to him:

So Megatron has the Allspark in his sight after so many many years of searching. It’s on a tiny Autobot repair ship, shouldn’t be a problem to get it right? Except while fighting the Autobots a bomb planted on him (by Starscream, he should see this coming) detonates. He survives that with damage to his right arm, gets inside the ship and is facing off against 5 autobots (clearly repair crew, and not in sync) in no gravity. One of them manages to cut his arm off, he is down by an arm, big deal, ‘tis but a scratch, he’s fine.

… No like seriously, this doesn’t stop him. He ALMOST GETS THE ALLSPARK!

Except that the leader of this troublesome repair crew kicks him off ship, causing him to crash on Earth. The only thing intact is his head (that Sumdac finds). Is he dead? Is he in a coma? Whatever it is, Sumdac tinkers with what he found.

50 years later, Megatron wakes up, can’t move, can’t do anything really because he is literaly a HEAD (ᵃˡˢᵒ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃⁿᵗ ᶠᵘˡˡʸ,ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵖⁱˢᵒᵈᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵇᵘˡᵏʰᵉᵃᵈ “ˡᵒˢⁱⁿᵍ” ʰⁱˢ ᵇᵒᵈʸ…ᵖᵘᵗˢ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ᵖᵉʳˢᵖᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ), sees that Starscream was the one who tried to kill him and almost suceeded (or did he suceed? Again, not 100% clear on the function of that Key… It heals, it upgrades, it gives life and sentience… Did it REVIVE Megatron or did it just wake him up?)

And what does he do?

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS?!

He is LITERALY ONLY A HEAD, WITH SO MANY OF PARTS EXPOSED OR WIRES HOOKED UP TO SUMDACS MACHINES.

MACHINES THAT HE CAN’T USE, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO PRIMITIVE.

AND DESPITE ALL THAT!

THIS GLORIOUS FUCKER!

STARTS PLANNING RIGHT AWAY! HE KNOWS THE SITUATION IS BAD AND HE BIDES HIS TIME!

He eventualy risks what little… Advantage? Is being locked away in the dark an advantage? When there’s autobots around being hailed as heroes, yea I think it might be though Megatron wouldn’t admit it… I think? Not outloud that’s for sure

Anyways, he risks it with exposing himself to Sumdac.

And then proceeds to deceive Sumdac! Like, Sumdac is smart. I actualy did need to take a step back and go “damn this poor man really is way over his head”, because on the first glance it seems really dumb to fall for a lie like that.

(I actualy would love to talk about the Professor in the future, especialy by just looking at him as a character on his own… BUT THIS IS MEGS SPOTLIGHT SO *yeets away for another time*)

AND MEGATRON IS NOT 100% GOOD AT THIS “I am an Autobot” THING. He lashes out! He is impatient, he is angry to the point of wrecking the lab with the energy surges and there are moments when Sumdac doubts that he himself can fix this mess he made, especialy with how angry this “Autobot” is.

But SOMEHOW, this glorious FUCK manages to turn most of the damage those outbursts cause into very convincing explanations for his reactions, WHILE also pretending to be useful and “helping”.

He can see almost everything from where he is, once he masters the connections with the cameras and etc. in the tower and things across the city. He deflects or “explains” why his plans included flamethrowers for amusement bots, and, let me say this again!

HE IS ONLY A HEAD AT THIS POINT IN THE SERIES!

A HEAD!

He is pretty limited with what he can do HIMSELF! Sumdac is not an ally, he is more of an enemy that isn’t aware of the power he holds over Megatron.

And he is doing everything FAR too slow.

That everything being mainly, getting Megs a body.

AND WHAT’S EVEN BETTER?!

There are so many robots around, all of them reverse enginered from Megatron himself, and none of them are of use to him. And when he DOES manage to get them to listen, something always interferes (Dinobots were a semi sucess, Soundwave rebelled, but did end up wearing a con badge (and boy was it eerie to hear Soundwave say ‘machines supperior to humans’ and how they will be all destroyed… Great episode that one) ).

So the robots of this planet are useless to him. He has to try and find a way to manipulate human criminals to do his bidding, getting him the materials Sumdac apparently can’t get without raising suspicion. Not that it’s hard, but they are useless as well, especialy with the Autobots meddling, so that also fails.

And there is always that Key. That he can’t just ask for, but can’t get no matter how he tries. And by god, does he try.

His only real, longe term-ish line of self defense at the moment is Sumdac and his guilt over using a friend of the Heroic Autobots…

AND THEN!

HIS DECEPTICONS ARRIVE!

And he isn’t even sure if he can trust them, given that his Second In Command blew him to pieces. So he has to gamble and hope for the best with Lugnut.

Which is clearly tiring because, as much of devout follower as Lugnut is (the fanfics are all spot on, writers of TFA Fandom amazing job portraying this mass of devotion), it gets annoying real fast when you are trying to get things done and really need to get a body asap, and the only one you can count on is determined to sing praises to you everytime you give an order.

Not even THAT seems to bring him any closer to his goal. And then Sumdac finds what remained of his body.

Pretty good for 50 years of weather exposure, eh?

BUT it seems he will have to keep waiting, because the blizzard that is raging outside causes a blackout, so the Tower is using the backup generator, so Sumdac declairs a delay in repairs.

Megatron alternates between bluster and sweet-talk to try to get his way, but it’s no use. Megatron attempts to call Lugnut again for assistance.

(Source: tfwiki)

From the looks of it, he came back online at the begining/end of fall, so he’s been,

pretending to be an Autobot (one who is a friend of bots he knows very little about, the ones who caused him to become like this in the first place)

pretending to be useful and helpful to Sumdac in exchange for attempted repairs (all of which have failed)

keeping his temper in check (good thing he can save the slip ups with quick thinking…)

for about… 3 or 4 months?

And no way to leave the lab?

With Sumdac as his only company?

Probably also in discomfort given THAT HE IS HOOKED UP LIKE THAT?!

With his ghoulish hand in sight that was/is CLEARLY being used as a chair for an organic?

… Yea. Imagine doing all that, being this close to finaly making progress, and instead being told “Weather bad, no can’t do, wait a while longer”.

So if Sumdac fears enough for the safety of his planet, he’ll surely work faster right? That seems to work somewhat…

Then comes Starscream.

The absolutely last Decepticon Megatron needs right now. So Megatron has to pretend he doesn’t know Starscream tried to kill him. With Starscream CLEARLY planning to kill him for good this time.

He is a head, what can he do?

We can soon see Megatron can take great joy in punishing that fragger, with limited resources he has, while Sumdac finaly works on his body.

The only fun perk of being a “friend of the Autobots” so far.

And then Blitzwing and Lugnut arrive. I swear, I was sure with all the talk Lugnut was doing, there was no way Megatron will actualy get that body.

Good thing they got the Key and that Sumdac didn’t think/wasn’t able to put in any override codes or sound the alarms.

What followed was a gorgeous villain reanimation/reconstruction scene and I loved every second of it. I mean, just look at this.

So, Megatron finaly has a fresh new body.

(gorgeous fucker)

He fights the Autobots, (if I start talking about the details, this post will never end), defeats them and does a magnificent job of offlining his SIC.

(Like, I love TFA Starscream. I really do. This purple bastard is a joy to watch, but given what he did, seeing him get offlined in such a dramatic, yet quick and efficient way(and knowing he comes back anyway)… Let’s just say, I was very pleased.)

The “Fuck you Starscream, Die 1.0” however, lets the Autobots escape and the chase begins.

Here I would like to thank the animators for giving both Bots and Cons gorgeous Magical girl-esque transformation scenes, because they are all beautiful BUT MEGATRON, HOLY HELL, I AM LOVING THAT HELICOPTER!

And they are back on the Ark, fighting in much the same way they were the first time,

But Megatron has no apparent weaknesses, except perhaps being cluttered with little shards of Optimus Prime after he finishes beating on the Autobot. Their one-sided fight carries them into the hold of the ship, where Megatron succeeds in acquiring the AllSpark…

Megatron manages to GET THE ALLSPARK!

SO MANY YEARS OF FIGHTING AND SEARCHING, AND HE HAS IT!

And he puts it in his spark chamber. Or in front of it.

…

Megatron. You just put an anchient artifact in your chest.

I… Listen, this is a step above Megan and his SpaceCocaineStraightToSpark Nonesense, BUT ALRIGHT!

I GUESS IT IS “SAFER” THAN HOLDING IT IN YOUR HANDS WHILE FIGHTING AND GLOATING.

Before he can celebrate, he is temporarily downed by Isaac, who knows enough about Megatron’s circuitry to disable his equilibrium sensors—

(”well fuck you too Sumdac”, I mutter to myself)

but although he drops the AllSpark Key in his stumble, the tyrant isn’t down for long. Megatron is about to finish Prime, when Sari hurls Prime the Key…

the kid Megatron could easily crush when she was standing infront of the Allspark (BUT HE DIDN’T!) throws the key to Optimus.

…

Who proceeds to jam it into the Allspark.

…

In your chest Megatron.

…

Where your own spark is, Megatron.

For the Lord of Decepticons and quite an old fellow, who I’ve just sung praise to, that was so dumb…

A destabilized Megatron flees the ship before the AllSpark explodes inside his chest, dispersing its energy throughout the atmosphere.

HE BLOWS UP! AGAIN!

This time his body is mostly in one piece, and he has Sumdac as a hostage but…

This Megatron does not have luck on his side.

He really does not.

The only reason he is still functioning is, that he is too stubborn to give up and die.

The whole “TooStubbornToDie” does seem to be a Megatron trademark, and makes me love his character even more.

TFA Megs. S1 and I already love him so much.

To finish up this rant of mine…

Someone get him a damn blanket and force him TO TAKE A DAMN BREAK! REST YOU STUBBORN FOOL!

#Moca screeches #Moca watches #transformers animated #tfa megatron #seriously dude please take 5 minutes off #Long post #For some reason the read more is not cooperating

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writeraquamarinara · 4 years

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oh and you in all your vibrant youth (how could anything bad ever happen to you?)

in honour of @anniemurphys: some Little Women content below the cut. i hope you enjoy it <3

(also, s/o to @ithoughtyoulikedmereckless for being the most brilliant beta)

~~~

Where her sisters walk, Beth floats. She’s always felt like a living ghost.

Her skin glows when held above the flaming tip of a candle. Light pinks and bright reds. Pale white under the sun, as if she’s fading with every day.

Her dresses engulf her, too big hand-me-downs from Meg. (Jo’s are always ruined.) The skirt billows as she moves, fans out as she sits. Her fingers straighten out the creases, a never ending task. She doesn’t mind. They don’t hurt like the rest of her, and if they never stop moving then neither will she.

She floats from room to room, house to house. Or rather, she used to.

Now, Beth feels more like a half-dead spirit, inching closer to the phantasmical than ever before. Certainly more than when she’d slept for days on end due to a bout of scarlet fever.

The couch has become her home within a home, the place where she eats, sleeps, watches the world go by. There are fewer people to watch than before: Amy’s in Europe, Jo in New York, Meg down the road. Even at various distances, they all feel just as far, just as unreachable. Marmee writes them, and they write back, but Marmee doesn’t know. No one does.

Her fingers still on occasion. Tears fall when she notices, tracing lines down her cheeks, but then she wipes them away and her hands find a use again.

Laurie stops by every now and then, but he looks just as lost as she feels. His eyes glaze over when he looks around the sitting room, and he never stays more than a few minutes.

She wonders what he sees when he comes over, if he too remembers the scenes from their childhood as if they were performed in Jo’s plays. If he can pick any object in the room and associate it with one of her sisters: the bucket Amy stuck her foot in or the ribbons that once tied up Meg’s curls. She can.

Jo’s mouse must be starving upstairs, but Beth can’t get herself to feed it.

She wonders if Jo even thinks about her mouse anymore, out in New York. The big city, full of people and opportunity. Beth would much rather stay here, before the fire, dolls whose porcelain skin matches her own in her lap.

“Beth?” Laurie asks her, on one of the days that blends into all the others. She’d been staring at the snow outside, embroidering a new pair of slippers for Mister Laurence. His words disrupt the stillness in the house.

Beth hums without turning to look at him. She’s memorized his face by now, and all its variations in expression. He’s sulking, hunched over in the armchair, mouth pinched and fingers fiddling with the ring Jo had given him.

Pale, passionate. He’s a ghost like her, but with a fire in his eyes. He’s waiting for a breath of air to bring him back to life. Unlike her, he has a chance.

“That day on top of the hill, when we spoke of our castles in the air.” He sounds wistful, forlorn. Beth’s read enough by now to know what those words mean. “So much has changed since then, and my favourite one is no longer what it was.” From the corner of her eye, she sees his head fall to the side, feels his eyes search her face. “Is yours?”

He’s hurting, she knows. Jo left both of them behind, though Beth doesn’t blame her. She doubts Laurie does either. Jo’s castle, like Laurie’s, has taken a new shape.

Beth feels a love for Laurie she hadn’t felt before: one forged in kinship. She continues her handiwork as she attempts to find consoling words, attempts to understand how she’s grown as well.

(Perhaps she hasn’t grown enough. That thought scares her most of all.)

Back then, she’d wanted to climb those steps and reach behind herself for her sisters. She’d wanted to welcome them, and Marmee, Hannah, Father.

It seems odd that her dreams had felt so far away. They were right in front of her at the time, but now that her sisters have left the only way to achieve them would be climbing the steps to a castle in the sky, with no way back.

“Yes,” she tells Laurie, because it’s true. She still wants what she no longer has: her family safe at home, her sisters surrounding her.

She wants the safety of a childhood that’s slipping through her slimming fingers.

Laurie curls in on himself further. When she finally turns to look, he’s aged more than she could have imagined.

There are blues and purples under his eyes, lines etched on his forehead.

Her fingers reach for his, a comfort, a reminder that she’s still here. It pains her to shift her body weight across the couch, but she does. Then the sky darkens outside, her skin turning blue in the light, and she pulls back.

Beth finally understands. “It’s alright that you’ve changed, Laurie. The world has. Most people have, or will.”

Laurie finally looks up from his lap, from the ring on his finger. The fire in his eyes burns with a desperation she can’t relate to. He hasn’t reached his dream yet; Beth has moved past hers.

She’s no longer a living ghost: She’s skin, mind, heart. When those fail she’ll be a true ghost, living in her castle in the air, waiting peacefully for everyone she loves to follow.

#little women #little women fanfiction #beth march #mari writes after months and this is what she comes up with #yes i am aware it's fairly depressing what else is new #title from hunger by queen florence

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plush-anon · 4 years

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after many hours spent pausing the show bc good lord why did they do that, i have now finished Love Never Dies

annnnnd yikes 😬😬😬

I’ll start with the few positives I did enjoy from the recorded Australian production on Youtube:

1.) the camera work. This is the kind of thing I dream of for professionally recorded shows - it really allows for some lovely close-up shots of how the emotions play over their faces, it’s lush

2.) the costumes are well-crafted, and I desperately Want the Phantom’s long-ass swooshy trenchcoat cape thing he wore for the first half-hour

3.) the sets used throughout this are honestly very impressively used and put together for some really fantastic shots

4.) the opening, with ‘Til’ I Hear You Sing Once More’. This song is honestly very lovely, and really articulates the Phantom’s loss and heartache for Christine. It’s sung very earnestly, and had the rest of the show been more like this I might have liked it more.

5.) the Fucking Song, ‘Beneath a Moonless Sky’, is a guilty pleasure. It’s so over the top, and it is only about recounting that One Time they totally banged yo, and I love it. I think it’s the orchestration, but it’s also enjoyably silly even while it takes itself 100% serious.

6.) As much as I hate to say this? ‘Devil Take the Hindmost’. While I hate the gist of the song - that being Raoul and Erik betting on who Christine will choose, and pretty much deciding for her who will get to be her one true love forever, completely negating the entire point of the OF musical where her choice was the most important factor for all of them - the pacing and the lyrics as they dance around each other are absolutely fantastic. It’s kind of sad to say, but Raoul and the Phantom, in this scene alone, display more chemistry in their singing than they do with anyone else. Let the hatefcuking commence~

7.) Some parts of ‘The Beauty Underneath’ I enjoy, particularly the ending scene where the Phantom is trying to talk Meg down. It’s very slow, melodic, and shows his more manipulative side, as well as how he can crawl into someone’s head, I love it.

8.) This very interesting visual with a mirror in Christine’s dressing room. There are two separate scenes where someone is in the mirror singing. The first is the Phantom, between Raoul and Christine. The second is Raoul between the Phantom and Christine. It’s honestly a nice touch.

9.) The main three are excellent singers.

Unfortunately, that’s all on the list of what I liked. Everything else is a Giant Fcuking Mess.

1.) The Phantom is no longer a complex, messed-up, but still somewhat sympathetic character, no; this is just a giant asshole who takes everyone for granted and barely realizes that anyone else exists except Christine, and even then only really as his personal instrument.

He never actually apologizes to Christine for the shit he’s put her through and continues to put her through, but still demands obedience and forgiveness and understanding. It completely negates the entire point of POTO’s ending, where he actually realizes he’s done wrong by her and his actions pertaining her, and lets her go from his world entirely, and RESPECTING HER CHOICES AND LEAVING HER ALONE.

Not to mention This Bitch also threatens to kidnap/possible “lose” her child if she doesn’t sing for him, keeps pushing her around and telling her what to do, and manipulating her life to change her decisions for her.

AND HE’S FRAMED AS THE BETTER OPTION HERE

2.) Which reminds of me of the next big asshat: Raoul de Chagny, who has now become an alcoholic gambler who pushes his wife to do things she’s not comfortable doing to repay his debts, neglects his son entirely, and also is abrasive and controlling of Christine, to the point he yanks her back and forth on doing shit. Play this role! We should leave bc he was an asshole! No now we should leave bc Phantom is back! No take the role he’s paying triple! I’ll make a bet on whether she loves me to pay my debts! No wait you should quit ten minutes before you go on-stage bc I don’t want to lose you! MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND YOU MISERABLE PISSANT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Like I can understand being overprotective to a certain degree, which could eventually morph into being controlling. But neglecting your son, your wife, drinking and gambling your fortune away? ALL of that?!? Really???

Shouldn’t he be desperate to keep his wife and son close to him at all times after the events of POTO? Never leave, never go anywhere, only do what’s safe? You COULD have set this up as a continuation of Safety versus Freedom with Raoul and the Phantom, show the good and bad of both and have her choose from there. Show the dichotomies and hypocrisies of both men’s standards.

But nope! We’re just totes gonna make the husband like this for no goddamn reason, especially since Raoul doesn’t start suspecting that Gustave (his son) isn’t really his until Devil Take the Hindmost. He’s just that much of an idiot!

3.) The presence of Madame Giry and Meg Giry. Oh gods, where to even begin? They’re pretty much only here so that Sir Andy doesn’t have to make new characters with different backstories and motivations and introduce them accordingly. Nope! Now both women are blaming Christine for leaving the Phantom Man-Baby, and talking about everything they sacrificed to help him make his stupid-ass circus, and talking about how they love him and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Madame Giry in the POTO musical YOU LED RAOUL DIRECTLY TO THE PHANTOM’S LAIR SO HE COULD RESCUE CHRISTINE WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE BETRAYED HIM

And, oh, Meg... she reaaaaaaaaaaaaally got the short end of the stick here. I just... poor dear, she was horribly treated in this.

Neither of them deserved to be like this, honestly.

4.) Christine, to a lesser extent. Experienced Literal Character Assassination, forced to choose between two horrible options, stripped of her agency entirely, used as a bet in a game between said two horrible options, lied to and dragged around constantly, should have taken Gustave and run off with Meg to run a music store together. Fcuk you Sir Andy, for using POTO characters to act out your bitterness and frustration at your ex.

5.) The entirety of the whole Boardwalk Circus schtick, spawning an additional Fuck You to Frederick Forsythe, who thought this was a tenable option for the story to progress.

6.) The Phantom’s deformity was literally just four lines drawn onto his face with crayon and some smeared lipstick:

what even the fcuk, you couldn’t make the make-up crayon drawing more detailed??? take more than ten minutes to draw it on???

I never thought I would say this, but even the 2004 film’s depiction was better than this! At least that one partially drew from a real medical condition, Sturge-Weber Syndrome. What the fcuk is your excuse LND?!?

7.) The Lyrics. Oh gods, the lyrics. Some songs were decent, mostly the ones I listed up top. But the rest? Did someone forget to give the writer a more advanced/creative guide to rhyming lyrics? I wrote better shit in middle school than Glenn Slater did for the majority of these lyrics.

Glenn my dude, what the fcuk is this nonsense? You’ve written good shit like the Tangled songs and stuff for Galavant! Why are you writing worse than an angst-ridden middle schooler? It is immensely frustrating, to say the least.

8.) The really WEIRD direction in acting. No one here acts like they know how to move their arms or hands naturally; there’s a lot of really odd and unnecessary gesturing that makes it look like everyone has just had their limbs replaced with faulty robotic arms. There’s also a lot of leaning the characters do, with their arms perfectly straight by their side and it just looks wrong.

9.) The Phantom’s pseudonym is Mr. Y. No, they never explain why it is he chose that particular moniker.

10.) Bathing Beauty. Just... all of it, here, tied to POTO, present and here.

11.) It’s been exactly 10 years since Christine saw/banged the Phantom, and her son is precisely 10 years old.

That’s... not how pregnancy works. At all.

12.) This weird scene with the American press, where they are absolutely obsessed with Christine, despite the facts they present, such as:

- She hasn’t performed in 10 years anywhere.

- She was a French performer, and

- She only starred in three operas at the Populaire (Hannibal, Il Muto, and Don Juan Triumphant, which wasn’t even finished. So technically 2.2 operas that we know of).

Why, precisely, would American reporters be so obsessed with her upon hearing she’s coming? I could see some interest given the whole shebang with the Phantom, but after 10 years of radio silence, would she really garner an entire crowd of reporters and photographers... in America, no less?

France I could definitely see. America? Not so much.

13.) Gustave is a flat, generic kid character, who apparently is totes the Phantom’s son because... he can play the piano well. And also has the same ideas of music as the Phantom, despite never being taught about them, or discussed such things with his mother.

Is musical talent only inherited through the father’s side of the family in this universe? I mean, we never learn about Christine’s mother, just her famous violinist father. Otherwise, why is it Gustave’s musical talent isn’t attributed to - oh, I don’t know - HIS FAMOUS OPERA SINGER MOTHER?!?

14.) Apparently the Phantom is also now the one who invented cars OH I MEAN “horseless carriages” 🙄 A carriage with no engine and a “ghost horse” appears, and everyone is just fcuking stunned by this, like they’ve never seen a vehicle move without a horse before. In 1907. 22 years after the first functional automobile was invented. Ugh.

15.) seriously tho who thought basing a sequel on the Frederick Forsythe novel was a good idea why did nobody think to stop him apart from Sir Andy’s pet cat Otto. why.

16) The Phantom’s interactions with Gustave are distinctly creepy and unsettling. I keep getting pedo vibes from him and I Do Not Like It.

17.) The death scene at the end is so goddamn over-the-top and out of nowhere I just want to throw something, ugh

18.) And finally, my last gripe with this mess: This takes place in 1907, and declares that it’s ten years after the original musical. Despite the fact that the OG took place in 1885. Yippy skippy. 😑

I can honestly say I am Not a Fan of this musical as a whole, mostly based on the plot and the character assassinations (one quite literal) and the poor lyrics. I can admire the camera work, the basic singing ability, the scenery and costumes, and maybe two or three songs. But I just do not enjoy it. It took me two days to finish watching it because I kept cringing from what shit kept happening, and had to walk around and listen to other shit to get it out of my head.

HOWEVER: People do enjoy this one on the sake of it being so bad and over-the-top, and I can honestly see the whys. It helps that most of the cast can sing, and the orchestration is done well. There’s a TON of stupid to mock, and a lot of over-the-top awkwardness to laugh at. This is a good one to watch and mock with friends, IMO.

For those of you who do enjoy it, I’m afraid I have to disagree on most of it. Still, it is nice being able to watch this one for free, even if it is a giant hot mess.

And that’s all for me on this one! Have a good week guys!

#plush reviews: final thoughts #lnd #love never dies #poto #musicals #this was an ordeal and a half i tells ya

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snowslasherr · 4 years

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here's a little something i’m making for all of you because you deserve it ♥️ if you don’t have a valentine you have all of these babies and me as well ♥️ i love you all so much, stay safe and take care of yourselves! i'm sorry if this is too short to be a holiday special :')

i'll add a read more thing later im sorry for clogging up ur dash

Dwight Fairfield

poor boy he'd be so nervous

dwight's really good at keeping track of the days in the fog, so he'd have extra time to prepare

he just wants to make you happy : )!!

he'll nervously tug at your sleeve at the campfire. go along with it and follow him blease

after near 20 minutes of walking in the woods you were about to ask where you're going, but before the words slip out of your mouth you see what he's been leading you to

a couple dark vines are concealing a small space, with a little creek running through the middle. the trees loomed over it, much taller than some of the other trees. crows were settled on some branches but flew away when you stepped in. the whole area was littered with flowers that dwight had planted himself, with the help of claudette. he wanted to make the perfect spot just for you.

"do you like it?"

what a stupid question. of course you like it. smh ❤

theoretically you can both sit there for hours, but trials get in the way. either way, it's perfect. he's perfect.

although he wasn't expecting anything from you it was a pleasant surprise when you whipped out a little gift. you'd gotten meg to help you force convince danny to let her borrow his camera, so she could take pictures of you both. of course, dwight didn't know this

meg was a surprisingly good photographer. the photos weren't blurry and they would make a good gift even in the normal world.

when you gave them to him he teared up and spent the next half hour quickly stuttering out how much he loves and appreciates you : )

Meg Thomas

oh boy

meg is a lil bundle of energy

you'll just be chilling at the campfire, maybe lounging around talking to nancy or jeff, when meg just nyooms in and grabs your hand. you squeak and she just starts zooming away, dragging you along with her.

meg tends to keep her offerings in a secluded place (a hollow tree trunk) because sometimes the other survivors tend to get the offerings mixed up. unfortunately, meg found this specific tree while on a run. she looked like she was having the time of her life, her braids flying behind her. she was fast.

she finally stopped and you could have a well deserved break. but that break was unfortunately cut short, because meg only stopped to pick up a small photo, before she burst back into a run.

when you got back to the campfire, she barely looked phased. you were panting, trying to catch your breath, and she looked relatively calm. she slipped the photo into the fire and then skipped off to the woods with you, to avoid passing out in front of the others.

when you woke up, the both of you were in the ormond resort. the entity had accepted the offer. you didn't even want to ask how she'd gotten the legion to stay out of their realm for you two

neither of you were dressed properly, but like almost everything in the fog, the temperature was fake.

which led to the most obvious situation

snowball fight!

she's so extra with it. she'll build a whole fort while you're pelting her with snowballs, paying no mind to it.

she makes it so big that you could hide in her fort and attack her with snowballs from the inside.

eventually, the girl gets worn out. it takes a while. but she still wants to keep going, so you two make snow angels with connected wings.

after you're both too tired to do anything else, you're pulled back to the campfire, grinning and tired

Claudette Morel

sweet baby. absolute sweetie.

smol lil claudette just pokes you on the arm, gesturing for you to follow her.

of course, you do. don't deny her she's babey

she's taking you down a long homemade path that you've never seen before. maybe because claudette spent hours between trials clearing it out just for this day, and finished it before she came to get you.

Jake Park

he didn't really have big plans for valentines day. dwight reminded him and he kinda just shrugged it off

he probably won't ever have a huge celebration for valentines day, it's not his style. he's a chill guy.

he'll probably sit with you in a clearing near the forest, holding his arm out for the crows to perch on, and showing you how to do that as well

he'll want to just lounge around, comfy day. you wanna get up? nah. comfy day. not today amigo.

consider yourself extremely special if he gives you a bouquet. it's rare, but he might!

the crows will dance around and bob their heads when you cuddle. they don't know what they're doing but let's just say they support your relationship. he totally didn't train them to do that.

he cares, kind of. he knows it's a day to be sappy but again, not really his style. he'll take the opportunity for a bit of affection though.

Nea Karlsson

nea has been planning this for a while, lets say.

every trial that you go in without her is an opportunity! she's been making a detailed mural with the few spray paints she's been allowed by the entity.

she's sure you'll be proud of her. and to top it all off, she finished just in time for valentines day. what a coincidence!

after you get back from a surprisingly laid back trial, you don't get a chance to rest before nea's smiling and telling you to follow her. you complain for a moment, but gave in anyway. you always do

she jumps over a couple logs and puddles, before coming across a couple lone brick walls. they look like nothing at first, but then you walk around to the other side.

nea's smirking as you're in awe, looking at her and then the mural.

"it's beautiful," you whisper, eyes shining. "but not more beautiful than you."

she does a complete double take at the cheesy generic line. she crosses her arms, looking away. but you can see the smile that she was trying to hide. she looked so pretty when she smiled.

Laurie Strode

she'll organize a little something :)

if you can imagine a party room, maybe one similar to one you'd see at a young kids birthday party, that's the kind of thing she'd set up.

it's just a comforting and safe scene, so she thought it'd be best

she collected a lot of offerings for this, please like it : (

she would've baked something but there's no ingredients in the fog besides corn

if you want corn though go for it

it has the vibes of one of those really good cookies from Walmart or something (okay i googled it they're called lofthouse cookies)

in the end she just wants a comfy safe environment,, it's so nice compared to the brutal things that happen in trials

Ace Visconti

do not let this man near flowers or anything of the sort. he'll take a bunch and

so cheesy

he'll take some random thing off the ground that looks cool (like a dandelion or a shiny rock) and say it's a luck charm, and pass it to you.

ace, handing you a flower tied to a funky rock with a piece of grass: happy valentines day :)

he'll set up a whole area beside the campfire for you two and if anyone steps into it he'll kick them out

if he finds a heart shaped rock he'll riot and get nea to spray paint it red. ultimate luck charm. because it's a reminder of him.

Feng Min

small little gamer :)

i'm convinced feng will take you on a romantic trip to taunt killers

myers is tired of it. susie thinks you guys are cute. evan is not having a good time. sally is supporting you. it's chaos

feng is just holding your hand, walking you around the autohaven wreckers. philip is cloaked and is too scared to be hit in the face with a pallet to uncloak.

feng is really short and she's climbing on things to be taller than you, just for the fun of it.

piggy back rides!! she loves piggy back rides. yeehaw

pick her up and carry her around? heart eyes motherfucker

Quentin Smith

aw what a cutie

he forgot about valentines day, but no fear! you didn't

after you guys swim he'll act like he's really tired so that he can rest his head on your lap. you know he's lying cause he keeps silently laughing as if he's a genius sneaky trickster

when you just happily say happy valentines day he's like 😳

he panics

just reassure him it's fine and you did something!

he's still upset about forgetting, but he's quickly distracted by you.

you've found a secluded spot in the woods, the only disturbance being the occasional core popping in to see what's up

you set up a blanket fort. you'd burned quite a few offerings for this. it worked out better than you expected it to, and you were pretty happy with it overall.

you spent as much time there as you could before being pulled into a trial

the time spent together made up for the offerings burned

Kate Denson

both of you set it up together

you stayed at the campfire, nothing crazy

kate played her guitar, and she showed you how to play a song or two (assuming you don't know how to already)

if you want to sing you are welcome to :)

kate will encourage you all the way even if you sound like nails on a chalkboard

she'll make anyone who comments negatively on your voice have a time out. no questions asked. they're older than her? don't care time out.

it's just,, nice and cozy,, and uninterrupted by trials

Jeff Johansen

big cuddly man!

like nea he'll also do something art related!

but it'll still be unique of course

instead of a mural, he'd do a small-ish but still breathtaking painting.

the rest of your day would be spent just chillin. if you're unlucky enough to be ripped into a trial, he'll bring a toolbox to get out as soon as possible. yknow. for more chillin.

Jane Romero

she'd be pretty extra

again, meg would force convince danny to let her use her camera. she'd have a big photoshoot, as best as she can with the limited resources. claudette would set up a scene, and you and jane would pose for the pictures

they turned out really good!

jane keeps them in a secure place and she won't tell you where if you say anything negative about how you looked. not risking it babe!

(phew finally done! i'm super sorry i was a couple survivors short, i didn't wanna burn myself out. if you like it please reblog? i made this in less than 24 hours to surprise you guys. i hope this is a decent special!)

#the killers fear meg #she is too powerful #that took so long #i'm sorry guyssss it's not the best but i worked hard on it #i'll do the killers another day #dbd survivors #my writing

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protectwoc · 4 years

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thots on little women (2019)

or, y’all are giving greta gerwig too much credit (part two)

The character arc that was changed the least from the source material, but that still manages to personally offend me the most, is, of course, Amy’s. It’s no secret that Gerwig is an Amy stan, or at least more of a fan of her than most people. I am as well, which is why I am so disappointed with this particular arc.

It’s honestly more disappointing because Gerwig handled parts of Amy’s arc extremely well, namely, her relationship with Laurie. Gerwig did an excellent job of making Amy and Laurie’s relationship feel less like a consolation prize since Laurie did not end up marrying Jo and more like a fully realized and reciprocal relationship, arguably more so than Alcott herself. HOWEVER, and this is a big however, the Amy/Laurie relationship is not the only important part of Amy’s characterization in the novel, and unfortunately, it is in the movie.

Amy starts out the novel as a selfish twelve year old girl, which is evidenced in no other but the infamous book-burning scene. However, throughout the novel, she grows out of that selfishness and into a more selfless, self aware woman. (Again, whatever your thoughts on “learning to be selfless” as a trope in women’s narratives are not necessarily relevant.)

For example, in the first half of the novel, one of Amy’s most notable chapters deals with pickled limes. For anyone who only watched the movie or doesn’t quite remember the book, a short summary:

Amy, the only one of the March girls who attends school, is upset because the girls in her school have been trading pickled limes. The limes are seen as a status symbol, which can be traded for little trinkets, bestowed upon favorites, or indulged in in front of your enemies. The pickled limes trend has become so popular that the teacher, Mr. Davis, has banned them in the classroom, which has done nothing to curb their popularity. Amy, who is relatively popular among her classmates regardless of her relatively lower class status, has been gifted several limes but had no way to return them, is greatly “in debt.” When Meg gives Amy enough money to buy a whopping twenty-five pickled limes, she flaunts and preens her way around the classroom until a girl she snubbed tattles to the teacher and gets all twenty five limes taken away.

This scene is a good example of the beginning of Amy’s arc of overcoming her one major personality flaw. It shows how her selfish nature is really just immature behavior, and as she ages, she matures out of that childishness. Another good example of this arc happens when Beth contracts scarlet fever. At first, she complains, saying that she would rather contract the deadly disease than to go to her Aunt’s house, but as she remains there, we see her mature and even grow fond of Aunt March. Her personal arc independent of Laurie was a big part of Amy’s plotline, and it was unfortunately left out of the movie.

The most glaring example of this is the omission of one of the most important scenes of Amy’s arc in the book: the occurrences at the fair. Again, indulge me in a brief summary for those who won’t know exactly what I am talking about:

The mother of one of Amy’s friends, Mrs. Chester, holds a three day fair for all of the girls in Amy’s social circle. As Amy is the most talented and most well-liked of the girls, she has the best table at the fair, at the very front, where she is to sell her beautiful artistic creations. However, her friend, May Chester, is jealous of her, and seeing this, Ms. Chester takes the table from Amy and gives it to May, relegating Amy to the back corner to sell flowers. At first, Amy is incredibly upset, and takes all of her art back to the table with her, however, after talking with her family, who are properly indignant on her behalf, she resolves to be gracious and humble and gives her own drawings to May to sell. Seeing this, Jo tells Laurie to take all of his handsome, college-aged bachelor friends to Amy’s table, which he does, and they spend the entire next day of the fair flirting with her and buying every one of the flowers from Amy. On the final day of the fair Amy, who has entirely overcome her own selfish wishes, tells Laurie and his friends to go do the same to May. This string of selfless acts is seen by Aunt March and Aunt Carrol (who in the novel has half of Aunt March’s role in the movie) and is the premier reason behind Aunt Carrol deciding to take Amy to Europe instead of Jo.

Leaving this scene out of Amy’s narrative in the movie is, I think, unforgivable. The inclusion of this scene would have exponentially improved Amy’s arc, for three major reasons:

This scene is the culmination of Amy’s “selfish to selfless arc”. Again, regardless of your opinions on whether this is a good lesson for her to learn, it is an arc, and as the movie stands currently, she simply doesn’t have one. The occurrences at the fair show her finally growing out of her childhood vices into the mature woman we see in Europe, and to exclude this scene does her a disservice.

Prior to her trip to Europe, this is one of the only scenes in the novel where Laurie and Amy have any sort of interaction. If Gerwig wanted to more fully develop the Amy/Laurie romance I cannot imagine the logic behind leaving this scene out. It would make the romance seem less rushed, which has been a common critique of their love story since the book came out, and would even provide context for Amy’s “Not when I have spent my entire life loving you” line which Gerwig added to the narrative.

As previously mentioned, this scene is one of the main reasons behind Amy being allowed to travel to Europe with Aunt March/Aunt Carrol. Within the movie, this reasoning is less obvious, especially given the fact that Aunt March had already told Jo she would take her to Europe, and the inclusion of this scene would have made the trip feel more earned for Amy.

Greta Gerwig has made no secret of the fact that she both a feminist and a fan of Amy March. I am both of those things as well, which is why I cannot understand her logic behind robbing Amy of a complete arc. In the movie, the most important parts of Amy’s arc are all tied to a man. Even that arc is not as fully developed as it could be. Gerwig did a magnificent job with Amy’s overall likability, but that is not the same thing as writing a fully realized arc for her.

But even though Amy is my personal favorite character, and I am more personally invested in her arc, Gerwig’s mishandling of Amy is not the most egregious sin committed in this movie. That honor is reserved for Jo’s arc.

Part Two: Jo

A Buzzfeed article entitled “The New ‘Little Women’ Makes Space for Jo’s Queerness” claims that “Gerwig’s adaptation, without being too explicit about it, does gorgeous justice to that [queer] reading.” An Advocate magazine article called “Greta Gerwig Brings Out the Inherent Queerness of Little Women” makes the bold claim that the 2019 Little Women “offers the queerest and most feminist reading yet.” An even bolder declaration by them magazine says that “The New Little Women Basically Proves Jo is Queer”. Gerwig has been lauded both by critics and by her own actors for creating an explicitly queer narrative for Jo March.

As previously mentioned, I do not generally read Alcott’s Jo as queer. However, upon my first encounter with this headcanon, I could immediately see why so many people did see her this way, and why this interpretation is so beloved. Jo has a lot of non-stereotypically straight traits that have made her something of a queer icon in many progressive literary circles. Both the way she bemoans being “born a woman” and her intense desire not to marry spoke to a lot of queer or non-cis readers, many of whom were excited to see her portrayed this way on the silver screen. And though I am not particularly attached to this headcanon, as a bi woman, I too was excited to see her that way.

And then… I didn’t.

Look, I hate to burst y’alls bubble, but there is literally not a single second in the movie where Jo is anything resembling queer. At best, she could be read as aromantic/asexual, but that’s about it. (Note: Obviously I don’t intend to imply that being aro/ace is somehow “lesser than” being L G B or T, but obviously the form of queerness people were expecting is one in which Jo is explicitly attracted to women.) There are no subtle looks in the direction of another woman, no scenes in which Jo expresses any negative emotion towards the idea of marrying a man specifically. She doesn’t even have a single female friend outside of her sisters.

One of the reasons the 2019 Jo (and by extension, Laurie), have been hailed as queer icons is their relative gender fluidity. Jo and Laurie exchange clothes throughout the movie, which was intended to display their “gender fluidity”. I knew about this particular facet of the movie before going to watch it in theaters, so I was looking for these occasions specifically, and I still couldn’t tell that they were supposed to be gender neutral. Maybe that’s just me, because I don’t know a lot about civil war era clothing, but whatever.

The other reason that Jo is considered queer in the movie is her rejection of traditional Civil War era femininity. She doesn’t want to get married, and she has no interest in “girly” things like dresses or parties. But neither of those things are specifically queer. Being “not like other girls” as your premier personality trait is not queer, it’s just garden-variety misogyny.

Even Jo’s big scene where she laments her competing desire to stay unmarried and her intense loneliness, has nothing marking it as explicitly queer. “I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for,” she bursts out. Love. Not love for a man. Not even marriage. She is decrying the entire concept of love.

“But Rae,” I can hear you asking, “what about the ending, where it’s implied she doesn’t marry Professor Bhaer and gets to publish her novel?” To that, there are two important things to consider. One: the ending is intentionally portrayed as optional. Even though it is heavily implied that Jo did not go off and get heterosexual married at the end, it is possible to ignore that ending or do some light mental gymnastics to make the two versions of Jo’s ending coincide. And I’m not just saying this as a worst-case-scenario, I actually have seen people do this, in fandom and my own life.

Secondly, even if you take the ending as completely factual, we still have all the scenes involving Bhaer previous to the ending to give some hint of Jo’s sexuality. We never see her even look at another woman, but she flirts with Bhaer and blushes when he looks at her and asks for his opinion on her work. Even ignoring the straight-as-default setting of most casual viewers, canonically, Jo has only ever shown interest in men. One man specifically, but still.

“But she could still be bi/pansexual, or suffering from compulsory heterosexuality,” I hear. And this is basically the crux of my argument. In fandom, you don’t have to assume straight as the default, and it's probably better not to. Bi/pan headcanons for “straight” characters are a good, positive way of adding to a fandom culture. However, when it comes to canonical representation, the opposite is true. Representation is not representation if it is not explicit.

I’m not saying that queer viewers cannot feel represented by Jo in this movie. I personally feel represented by Hermoine Granger as a black woman, due to her “wild, bushy hair” and her penchant for social activism (SPEW). However, I cannot give JK Rowling credit for that representation because she had nothing to do with it. She did not do any of the hard work to actually make Hermoine a black woman. In the same way, we cannot credit Gerwig with adding queer representation to Little Women, because she didn’t.

Conclusion: The Response

I know reading this essay probably makes me seem like a Greta Gerwig-hater or like I disliked the movie. Both of those things are untrue. As previously mentioned, I loved the movie. I’ve watched the Amy/Laurie scenes of the movie like a hundred times already. I also don’t hate Greta Gerwig. This is the only movie of hers that I’ve seen, but I heard all about Lady Bird and its popularity, and I think the directing of Little Women was excellent. The fact that Greta Gerwig is a very talented filmmaker is not necessarily an arguable point.

I don’t believe that Gerwig had to fully develop any of the sisters. I don’t even think that Gerwig is required to add queer representation (or racial diversity for that matter) to her movies. Greta Gerwig decided to adapt an extremely white, cishet Civil War era book into an extremely white, cishet Civil War era movie. Hot take time: she is entirely in her rights to do that.

BUT. The thing that bugs me the most about the movie, and is basically the impetus behind me writing this essay, is the response to the movie. For whatever reason, Gerwig’s Little Women adaptation has been deemed more “woke” than it actually is. Little Women (2019) has been lauded for its strong female presence (even though there are only white, cis, straight women), for it’s development of the other, non-Jo sisters (even though it doesn’t), and for giving its lead space to be queer (even though she isn’t).

Greta Gerwig made an excellent film, but she did not do anything that has never been done before. I liked the movie, but I’m not about to go campaign for Greta Gerwig or the movie to win an Oscar. In general, we need to be less willing to acclaim those who do the bare minimum.

Again, I’m not good at writing conclusions. At a certain point I’m going to just start repeating myself, so I’m going to go ahead and cut myself off now. Again, if anybody has any opinions on this, agree or disagree, please come talk to me about it! I’d love to hear any other thoughts.

#little women #little women (2019)#raetalks #meta #meg march #jo march #beth march #amy march #timothee chalamet #emma watson #saorise ronan #eliza scanlen #florence pugh #greta gerwig

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amwritingmeta · 4 years

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15x06: Castiel

Is there anything more beautiful than turning points for a character? I don’t think there is. Cas has had a few of them throughout his journey (of course all of TFW have) but this episode he comes across a most likely enormous one, because this episode actually manifests his self-liberation in no uncertain terms, and given how far along we’ve gotten down the line with his progression, I’m thinking it’s most likely to stick.

It’s all about identity, right? Even this turning point that I’m so mysteriously hinting at. I’ll get to that.

Let’s take a look at the lay of the land this episode and it’ll bring us to why this turning point feels like it is shaking the very foundations of Cas’ core character traits and, hopefully, bringing about that needed change in the process.

Here’s the thing. When he was cast down from Heaven and turned human by Metatron stealing his grace, Cas was lost and was killed and then he was brought home to the Bunker only to be thrown out again, and so he named himself Steve and took a job at a Gas ‘n Sip because he couldn’t drape himself in the flag of Heaven anymore.

As a human, adrift and alone, he did the only thing he could think to do: he mimicked human everyday life. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He could see no other choice.

Until he called Dean to tell him about a case in the town where he’d settled (using settled loosely here since Cas was basically squatting at that same Gas ‘n Sip because he didn’t have a home of his own btw) and Dean showed up and reminded Cas what is at his core: to help. And that this desire to help is there even if he’s scared of dying, because that is what gives him a sense of purpose. (which is why he threw himself into that human everyday life to begin with: in search of purpose)

After Dean drove off in 9x06, telling Cas to live his life, Cas made a decision, for himself, to get back into hunting. To insert himself back into TFW, whether Dean wanted him there or not.

This was an enormous turning point for him, because for the first time he truly considered what he wanted for himself, and he went after it without hesitation.

Which was then promptly followed by Cas seeing no other choice but to swallow Theo’s grace and get his powers back, readying himself for the war that most surely was heading their way, because how could he be of service, of help, to the brothers and to the world without his powers?

Right? Right.

Now then, in 15x06 we get Cas in a deep state of identity confusion.

This is most clearly given to us through the name he chooses for himself.

Firstly, Clarence is a beautiful callback to Meg and perhaps that’s all it’s meant to be, but it’s also tying in with those early days that lay the foundation for the identity confusion Cas is still grappling with. So it’s interesting to me that he’d use it now, when he should be moving on, know what I mean?

And yeah, that brings us to the second Clarence, which is a character name from True Romance where the character Clarence Worley is played by Christian Slater and Worley is a posturing, bi-coded renegade of a male and has a lot of Dean in him (and I’m headcanoning that Dean has initiated Cas to the wonders of True Romance and done so fairly hardcore) so for Cas to actually, literally, name himself after a Dean-esque character is delightfully poignant.

Because it serves to underline how Cas is still not acting from a place that is based in having enough perspective on himself that he’s aware of what he wants, but rather we’re given to understand, in no uncertain terms, that he left the Bunker, pondered what to do and instead of considering what he’d do, he thought: What would Dean do?

And Dean, to relax and regroup and get away, would go fishing.

So, essentially, Cas is still in mimic mode.

Only this time he wasn’t told he had to leave the Bunker and what he deep down has always thought of as home and family and safety, even if he hasn’t felt like he truly belongs there: this time he chose to go.

And, this time, yes, he goes into mimic mode because he’s at a loss of what exactly he’s supposed to do now, but when a case presents itself, he doesn’t call Dean, he goes into hunter mode and leaves the mimicking behind, leaning on his own knowledge and understanding of what hunting down a monster entails, knowledge and understanding he’s accrued over his years of inadvertent training.

Granted he’s not human and he’s not risking his life the way he would’ve been back in S9 -- which was the reason (well, one of them, if you want to read the subtext as being that he genuinely wanted to see Dean and he hoped Dean would come look him up) he called Dean -- but he’s not fully fledged, his powers are failing him, and he doesn’t know what that means or what it will mean for him in the long run.

What is evident is that he doesn’t need his powers to do his job and do it well. He correctly identifies the monster as a djinn and locates what is evidently its lair without using anything but power of persuasion and research skills.

I could - over-zealous that I get at the mere prospect - read all this as meaning that we’re getting foreshadowing for how Cas doesn’t need his powers to live his life. Actually, it feels a little more like Cas’ powers are hampering his ability to live his life this episode, as the pastime that relaxes Dean Humanity Winchester does nothing to relax Cas-Still Angelic and thus Tied to Heaven-tiel. But the powers do save him, and they do allow him to do what is at his core: help. He heals Caleb, even though it takes a lot out of him

The taking a lot might be foreshadowing that his powers are diminishing to the point of soon not being there at all, or it might be an underlining of how we should root for him being powered up again, so that the moment he is will feel truly gratifying, because we’ve witnessed the struggle.

The gunshot wounds to his chest might be a highlighter for how he still sees himself as ‘thing’ and always expects to be able to heal himself, which could be a plant for how, if he becomes human, bullets flying at his head will carry a completely different meaning because he’s always been someone who absorbs such situations without even really blinking at them (like how he didn’t even flinch when Ketch blew up that car with the grenade launcher back in S12), or it could be another underlining of Powers=Good because they allow him to do what this entire episode pushes for him to do: stand up to authority.

And so we land in the-->

Turning Point

Which is Cas standing up to authority and, if you look at the subtextual implications, in so doing, breaking away from how he’s related himself to Dean for a whole lot of their joint arc, especially during the latter half of it.

This turning point is enormous for his individual arc: letting go of his proclivity for making choices based in servitude to the greater good (manifested in God and then in Dean) (his servitude always skewed since he should be making his choices based in his own sense of morality) (not trying to do what he thinks someone else wants him to do) and starting to make choices based in his own knowledge and understanding of himself and his place in the world.

And this newfound self-insight could potentially hopefully have an enormous impact on how he relates himself to Dean moving forward.

Because instead of this -->

Leading to this -->

Ending in this -->

We’ll get Cas behaving based in this -->

And the parallels here are rich as well, btw. They’re not as violent as they look, at least not the way I see it, because not only is the possible S8 callback (it’s what I got in my head anyway) a tie-back to a moment where Cas bowing to authority brought about emotional trauma, which led to him standing up to said authority, but on top of this, Dean as authority figure isn’t working anymore.

Dean as role model, Dean as compass, Dean as charge and the reason Cas uses for why he’s even on Earth isn’t holding up anymore. It hasn’t for a long time now. And in this moment Cas not only knows it, but I would say he accepts the truth of it.

The sheriff is a toxic masculinity representative in the most classic sense and it’s beautiful how Cas uses the lines that Miriam threw at Dean in 13x01, almost to underline the parallels here, but also to tell us how little Cas is ready to bow down to this type of power.

As such, it’s not just a parallel to Dean, but to Chuck as well, which is why the turning point is so layered and carries so much weight: this moment is Cas telling a representative of what God now is in the narrative (and granted always has been) this his sense of entitlement, that his belief that he deserves his position and that he should be worshipped simply because he’s in that position, won’t convince Cas to obey.

This then morphs from a moment of empowerment to a moment of loss of control as the soldier mode takes over, yeah? The djinn needed killing, but slaughtering?

There are a myriad of possible implications here, but the sentiment of the scene itself is Cas breaking free and stating unequivocally that he sees through fake points of authority and will not follow blindly anymore. Cas sees through the bullshit now. He’s breaking free of his indoctrination once and for all.

Which is why the episode, for Cas, ends in that absolutely mind-blowing decision to contact Sam, which we’ll be privy to in the next ep, because Cas realises that staying away won’t solve anything and it’s not the way he can actually truly help either.

He felt he had to cut communication in order to make a statement, but ignoring Sam is neither smart nor does it serve his intention of making Dean understand he’s in the wrong and that he should stop being such a selfish douche.

Staying in the game, but making certain that Dean acknowledges he’s been entirely unfair and apologises, is more mature than giving everyone the silent treatment and missing out on vital information pertaining to the probable end of the world in the process.

All of this has me excited for what it means for Dean and Cas, without me expecting that it means anything! Dean shows how he’s ready to let Cas go live his life as best he sees fit, but he’s going to call Cas out for being a dumbass, yeah? Which is well-deserved. Cas is being stupidly stubborn and he really should answer Sam. Dean is letting go (while, you know, being forlorn without Cas but recognising that this forlornness is his own burden to bear) and isn’t going to tell Cas to come back.

I mean, unless Cas shows he didn’t mean move on as in remove myself forever from your presence and stays in contact with Sam, because then there’s a chance that what Cas wants and needs... is an apology. *slow eyebrow raise*

What it looks like to me is them being placed in a position to choose one another without needing the other to define their identity, or even to assist in providing perspective. They are moving into facing that final fear - their shared fear of happiness - and through facing it, beginning to believe that they deserve to be happy.

I am just way too curious now to know exactly where it’s all landing! We know Dean will give in, we know he’ll end up reaching out, but omg what will that mean overall? I mean... will Cas hear that prayer, is my foremost question, with his powers dwindling? #wewillknowafterChristmas

#spn 15x06 #spn meta #spn speculation #cas #darling cas #human!cas #what does the dwindling of his powers mean for him??#I'm dying to know!!#deancas #destiel #meredith glynn

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letterstothemidnightsociety · 3 years

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Yesterday I watched the beginnings of The Purge happening in real time and wondered where, exactly, I was, both physically and ecumenically. And since this season of The News is starting off even more ridiculous than the last year’s season, I’m not just gonna bury my feelings, I’m gonna salt and burn them. It’s Supernatural

Alright, previously on SPN, I thought we were finally ramping up on the Main Arc for season 2 and boy was I WRONG. The next few episodes clearly put the Main Quest on the back burner. Which, actually is pretty standard for Supernatural - you get a good run of quest episodes and then a switch to self-contained episodes that just sort of brush up against the season arc.

Next up is “Nightshifter” - a pretty solid stand alone episode about a guy who is definitely not robbing a bank.

I love Chris Gauthier, our Extra of the Week. Sam really does him dirty by refusing to give him the Truth is Out There deal. I think my biggest question coming out of that whole scene is why??? I mean, cool, Sam’s worried about Ronald Reznik getting killed, I get it, but how is Ronald’s story any different from any number of hunters that they’ve met in their lives? Ronnie even has his own John Winchester Patented Murder Board™. He did do a lot of the leg work for the Winchesters, even if he wasn’t 100% right. In Sam’s defense, Ronald does die almost immediately, but he had a great run.

You did good, kid. You did good.

More questions that I had about this episode? Special Agent Henriksen. Now don’t get me wrong, I do actually like Henriksen as an antagonist. I appreciate that the show is acknowledging just how shady hunters are. I mean, sure, they’re saving lives and killing evil sonsofbitches, blah blah blah, but also, they are regularly breaking and entering, finding dead bodies, leaving prints at crime scenes, impersonating officials, desecrating graves, not to mention that they are the last person seen with people who end up dead or missing. Like, it was only a matter of time before that came back to bite them.

Some A+ work from Charles Malik Whitfield

But here's the thing - season 2 already has SO much going on. Like, they gotta avenge their dad and kill the yellow-eyed-demon. On top of that, they gotta keep Sammy from turning evil. Oh and also, they’ve gotta keep Sam safe from other Hunters who might think he’s turning evil, specifically Gordon. Now on top of all that we have to worry about the cops? Now it feels like you’re just throwing obstacles in their path to be a dick. Listing it out like this, it feels like season 2 is turning into a bit of a hot mess? Ok, Because I know that Henricksen comes back as a recurring antagonist, I’m maybe reading too much into it, but the next episode he recurrs in is episode 19 of this same season, so...maybe not?

As a side note, I’m just gonna reiterate that I like Henriksen. I like him specifically because he is an Antagonist, not a Villain. Same goes for Gordon, in this season at least. They are not Villains in the traditional way this show presents Villains = Monsters. Both Gordon and Henriksen think what they are doing is for the greater good and they’re both going about it within the boundaries of their own moral codes. It’s just that those moral codes are in the way of our Protagonists, the Winchesters, and that’s actually some neat writing, so good job Season 2 Writing Team.

Next up is “Houses of the Holy”, the first ever SPN episode about angels, and if you know anything about SPN but haven’t seen this episode (or seen this episode in a while), you will laugh out loud at this line:

AHAH! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHahahah.

I will briefly point out that after this line I gave myself a sad by responding to my TV: “Do you need proof Dean? Or do you not believe in angels because that’s easier than thinking they don’t believe in you?” So you know, that’s where I’m at these days.

And that’s basically it for this episode? I mean, there is a brief mention of the Main (???) Quest (???) when Sam talks about wanting/needing the angel to be real, as it gives him hope that he’s not all evil yet. It’s a nice piece character that comes out in a season that feels very Dean heavy in the emotions department so far. And so it does feel like a real hard let down when Sam finds out it’s not an angel, just spirit and he loses all that validation.

Oof. That’s rough buddy.

Next up is “Born Under a Bad Sign”. On the surface, it looks like a return to the Main (???) Quest (???) but it brings me back to the question, what IS the Main Quest on this season?? IS it Sam Goes Evil? Like...shouldn’t the Main Quest still be Hunting the Yellow-Eyed-Demon? But I guess technically, Sam Goes Evil is part of the yellow-eyed-demon’s plan so stopping that from happening is stopping the yellow-eyed-demon and so technically that’s still...the Main….Quest?????????

It’s a little murky. In the same way that I think it’s smart that the Winchesters don’t defeat the yellow-eyed-demon at the end of season one, I also think it’s smart that they differentiate the through-line on season 2 from season 1, but when you pair the two seasons together it does feel like they’ve abandoned the part about defeating the Villain - the actual Villain, evil plans and twirling mustache and everything.

But then we find out that, no, no this has nothing to do with the yellow-eyed-demon, this is just Meg Being Meg. She’s not here for some grand purpose, she’s just here to dick around with the Winchesters. That bitch is powered by Murder and Spite and I love it. And I’m not gonna lie, Jared Padalecki is hecking CRUSHING Being Meg Being Sam Being Meg again. Just like, CRUSHING it.

Of course, the bigger issue at stake is, unsurprisingly, the relationship between Sam and Dean. Sam wants Dean to make good on his promise to kill Evil!Sam, and Dean just loopholes his way out of it, even when he’s shot and drowned and beat to shit.

WHY is Dean driving in this scene? Between the head trauma and blood loss and the alcohol and whatever pills Jo gave him at the bar, he should NOT be operating heaving machinery.

He says he’ll save Sam if it’s the last thing he does and like...he’s probably just gonna die trying? Which like...ok, sure, but also you’d end up with Evil!Sam probably taking over the world or some nonsense, so it’s not a great strategy.

On the other hand, based on Jo’s general vibe this episode, I believe that she would not hesitate to take a shot at killing an Evil!Sam and I kind of love her for it.

That bitch is gonna do what it takes. Or you know probably just think up a better solution, she’s not so close to the situation and also she’s defs way smarter than all the Winchesters put together.

So this episode is not about the Main Quest, not really, although it ties into the major emotional arc of the Main Quest so maybe??? It is??? Anyone???

And then to round out this disc, we have “Tall Tales”. What would Supernatural be without the one two punch of Highly Emotional Episode followed by That Funny Episode??

And “Tall Tales” is great. Jared Padalecki is, again, CRUSHING it and Jensen Ackles is so committed to that eating gag, just *chefs kissy fingers* c’est magnifique!

I legitimately love this episode - the format is screwy, the narrators are both unreliable, DadBobby comes back. I want to complain that putting this episode in the same season as “The Usual Suspects” - another episode that breaks format - feels too soon, but you know what? You do you, guys. I love this episode and I love that the Trickster is a recurring...uhh, let’s call him another antagonist who thinks what he’s doing is for the greater good and he goes about it within the boundaries of his own moral code. Bless him he’s a delight and also he has a doggo so he can’t be all bad, right??

Also, yes, I know he turns out to be the angel Gabriel and you know what? I’m fine with that.

I gotta say, for a quartet of standalone episodes (ok yeah, I’m officially calling “Born Under a Bad Sign” a Side Quest), these were hella solid. These are not just filler episodes, these are interesting and emotionally complex and very enjoyable. I’d argue these standalones are more interesting and enjoyable than quite a few of the standalones in season 1, so it really feels like the show is in its stride.

This is why 20+ episode seasons are still relevant. Yeah, the throughline for the season does feel a little muddled and messy, but on an 8 or even a 12-13 episode season, you don’t get this kind of room to play and experiment and make fun of yourselves the way that SPN does. There’s all this breathing room to try new things. There’s space to introduce new characters and play with dynamics and surprise your viewers.

A 20+ ep season is a daunting (and expensive) task, but there’s gotta be a certain amount of freedom that comes with it too. Freedom to just have fun with these characters and this world that you’ve created. I don’t mind shorter seasons - honestly, it saves me, personally, a lot of time and the writing gets sharper and tighter and better at telling the one story the show is here to tell. But I hope that, if television continues to shorten seasons, that they also allow at least a little time for standalone episodes like these.

#Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural Season 2 #supernatural rewatch #Nightshifter #Houses of the Holy #Born Under a Bad Sign #Tall Tales #ronald reznik #special agent henriksen #Bobby Singer #Meg #Jo #Trickster #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam and Dean #TV #TV structure

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lifblogs · 4 years

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Title: Livin In You: Chapter 7

Fandom: Supernatural

Rating: Explicit (for later chapters)

Pairing: Destiel

Summary: Castiel is a mental health worker who is just fine with the way his life is. The only thing that really bugs him is how much his co-worker, and friend, Meg, mentions Dean Winchester, the most famous rock star in the modern age. Meg drags him to a concert, and he ends up getting tied into the wild and angsty life of Dean Winchester. Suddenly his old life seems boring, but so much calmer. Suddenly, it matters to him that he's still a virgin. Suddenly, this rock star that he despised the mention of, now matters to him.

Dean Winchester is a rockstar who's on top of the world when it comes to music. Yet there's more that he wants. He misses Lisa and Ben, he craves connection, craves being himself. Any hope for that amidst his alcoholic life all changes when Zachariah, the head exec of Heaven's Records, pairs with a new exec, Michael Edlund -- the Archangel of Music. Under Michael's dominance, he's no longer in control of his own life. There are rules. No more sex with fans. No more alcohol. And in Dean's view, no more god damn free will. Yet he stumbled into Castiel.

A/N: They finally meet!

Buy Me a Coffee!

Meg had gone to a hotel after the performance, but Castiel wasn’t ready to sleep. He needed to calm down, needed to get his ears to stop ringing. And was his heart beating too fast? Maybe the concert had been a natural high. Or too much stimulation all at once for someone who’d never been to such a thing before.

He shook his head, feeling an ache coming on behind his eyes, and he pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose.

“Would you like honey with that?”

Castiel breathed in and out evenly, and took his hand away from his face to look at the college-age student working behind the counter at the café he’d stopped at.

“Uh, yes please,” he responded, hoping that it would get rid of the scratchiness in his throat. Besides, honey was good, and Castiel loved bees. Ironic that he’d found a café that was called “The Beehive.”

After paying for his tea, and waiting a few moments, he was given a cup with a cartoon bumble bee on the side, its previous flight path designated with a dotted line coming from the end of its body.

Castiel took a seat by one of the large windows, and sipped at the chai he’d ordered. He breathed deeply, trying to get himself to relax. He felt the hot cup in his fingers, heat radiating down the appendages, even singeing his fingertips a bit.

About to take another sip, Castiel was startled from his reverie, spilling hot tea all over his abdomen and legs as there was a loud crash from outside. It’d sounded like thunder, and then screeching.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

Castiel had crushed the cup in his surprise, and hot liquid was also on his hand.

He grabbed a bunch of napkins from the table, trying to hurriedly mop himself up, even as he stood to see what all the noise was. His skin twinged and burned.

“Fuck!” he heard from outside, and then a car door slammed shut.

Oh no, was that Castiel’s car that was rammed into in the back? Had someone seriously ruined his 1978 Lincoln Continental? There was a black car that seemed mostly free of damage, stuck in the end of his car, the metal crushed against the gleaming frame.

“Oh god, sir, do you want me to call 911?” the barista asked, her voice panicked, phone already out.

“Not yet,” Castiel told her, still mopping himself up. “I’ll see what’s going on.”

Wind blowing against the flurry of napkins in his hand, he stepped outside.

And he stopped dead when he saw who was prowling about the two cars, swearing his head off.

No, no, no, he begged. No, no, no, no, no.

But no amount of begging and pleading changed whose car that was.

The celebrity ripped off his leather jacket, and threw it through the window of the 1967 Chevy Impala, and then kicked Castiel’s car before starting to try and pry them apart. Metal squealed, but they didn’t budge.

“Uh, sir, that’s my car,” Castiel told him.

“It was in my way!” he yelled. And then he tried to straighten, and swayed.

Dean Winchester met him with hard eyes, but then they soon zoned out, looking slightly to Castiel’s left.

Oh! Oh, he was drunk!

Typical. Of course a celebrity was drunk after a big performance.

“I was parked on the side of the road, you… you… assbutt!” Castiel argued. The tea that had been spilled on his clothes started to chill in the night air, and he stuffed the remaining, and somewhat soggy, napkins, in the pocket of his too-tight jeans.

“Assbutt. Okay. And some side of the road,” he huffed. “Now come on, help me pry ‘em apart.”

Stunned, Castiel got up beside him, and started to push at his car, as Dean Winchester did so with his own. It didn’t escape Castiel’s notice that Dean’s right hand was poorly bandaged with a blue and white bandana.

After a great deal of struggling, nothing happened.

“Great. Just great,” Castiel told him, surveying the scene with lowered brows. Dean had collapsed across the hood of the Impala, seemingly strung out and definitely drunk. “I gotta call the police.”

“No, no, don’t!” Dean urged, righting himself with a lurch. He reached out to Castiel, grabbed him, and Cas just stared, not sure what to do. “You gotta help me, buddy. I can’t have the police here. Then there’ll be paparazzi, press. It’ll be a mess. Please. I’ll… I’ll pay you.” He let go, Castiel squinting at him in befuddlement, and Dean began to go through his pockets. “How much you need for the damage? Or uh, a new car. How much?” He pulled out a wad of cash, and started going through it, fingers clumsy as he counted. “Uh… six thousand? Seven thousand?” He slammed it against Cas’ chest, and he found he had no choice but to accept it. “Here. Here, take it.”

Castiel stepped back, confused as he clutched the money in his hand.

“Is this seriously your life?” he asked. “You just make a mistake and think you can get rid of it with money?”

Dean shrugged, almost fell and sat back against his car. “No.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow, hoping the look would prompt him to go on.

“Okay, not most of the time. I just need help.”

“Yeah, you’re drunk.”

“Smooth observation, baby.”

Baby? When had he decided to call him baby? Cas couldn’t decide if that was inappropriate or not.

“Look, I’m a mental health worker,” Castiel told him, slowly approaching. “I can help you get sorted out, at least for the night. You shouldn’t be out here, or on the road.”

“Ha, my brother would say the same thing.”

“Maybe you should listen to him.”

“What about your car?”

Castiel eyed the money, and held it up. “Well, you paid me.” He gave a couple thousand back, too stunned and shocked to even think about how much money he was holding and said, “I only need repairs. This car means something to me.”

“Yeah, mine too.” There was silence as Dean took the money back, and then they stared at each other.

“How come you’re not freaking out?”

“I am.”

“About me, I mean. You know who I am, right?”

“Yeah, you’re Dean Winchester.”

“Oh.”

“And?”

Castiel went around to the driver’s seat of his car, seeing if he could start it up, thinking he could drive it a few feet, get it out of this bit of wreckage.

That idea worked, once he signaled for Dean to get out of the way, and the drunk rockstar finally realized it.

“Now what?” Dean asked.

Castiel was shocked that he was the one supposed to be taking the lead here, but Dean stood with his arms crossed, looking towards Cas. How had he suddenly gotten authority?

“We could go our separate ways,” Cas suggested.

“You said something about helping… about helping this.” Dean pressed at his head like he himself was the problem.

It was Dean, per se. Alcoholism was a mental disorder, but aside from sobering him up, he couldn’t fix him in a night.

“Don’t you have a bodyguard or something?” Cas asked. “Or uh… what are they called — handlers?”

“Waiting for me at the hotel. Told ‘em I needed some air.”

Castiel held his arms out. “Well, you got it.”

“Can you help me?” Dean asked.

“You just crashed my car! And you were driving, drunk. It’s beyond me why I haven’t called the police on you yet. I don’t even like you!”

Dean’s face fell, crestfallen.

“You don’t even know me.”

“Exactly.” Castiel looked around, and observed himself as well. This tea all over him was super annoying, but he told himself it was just in the moment. It wasn’t a big deal. And his car, well, he could get that fixed. That was a big deal, but he’d already shown anger about that, so it was time to get himself to focus on dealing with it. Coping. That’s what he always taught his patients. He hadn’t reined in his reactions like he should’ve, but he could control what he was doing now. He even tensed and relaxed a few different muscle groups as he stood there, letting his body know he was fine. “But, I can’t just let you be alone like this. You could hurt someone, or uh… someone could hurt you, I guess. You have an address for where you’re staying?”

Dean licked his bottom lip, bit it, and then started digging through his pockets. It took him awhile to find the right pocket, and then to find what he was looking for. He handed Cas a horribly crumpled piece of paper with faded lettering, but he was able to make out the address.

“Uh… my car’s not going anywhere.”

Dean pat the hood of his car. “And I’m not leaving Baby behind. Just let it get towed. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

Cas, with keys in hand, looked at the Lincoln Continental. He’d had it forever, had gotten it from his dad, Chuck, who then up and left. It was all he had left of him, aside from some family photos he didn’t like to look at. Could he just leave it like that?

“It’s…”

“Just call a tow company now if you want,” Dean said. “And we’ll be gone before they get here.”

“Insurance is gonna want to look at this,” Cas said, leaning down to get a look at one of the headlights that seemed like it was close to just dangling off.

“No, no!” Dean responded in a panic. “We can’t have that.”

“Don’t you have a guy for this or something?”

“My people don’t want me out. Uh, hold on.”

Dean got out his phone and then walked a distance away before pacing back and forth. Castiel heard him muttering, “Pick up, pick up, pick up!”

Cas didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he was soon able to hear one side of the conversation. He stayed by his car, trying to pat down his clothes with napkins some more.

“Look, I know you told me not to call… No, I’m not at the hotel… And you are?... Come on, I got into a mess… No, a girl is not involved… Uh, maybe a guy?... Okay, look, not in that way. But insurance is gonna be all over this, and I was wondering if you could…?... Yeah, I want you to make it disappear… Well, if you don’t, Zach’s gonna rail me!... Please, for me. I’ll uh, I’ll do anything, even hook you up with someone… Okay, right, duh, you don’t want that. Look, I’ll owe you a favor… Yeah, of course I can follow through with a favor… Just help me out here. I’ll be in serious trouble if you don’t. I’ll give you the details after, alright? Towing company, everything… Yes, it was Dad’s car… No, it’s not ruined. The other guy’s car is, and no, he hasn’t called the police… You think he should call the police?... Sam! Ugh, I’ll get back to you tomorrow, and you’re gonna help… Fine… Fine!... Love you, bro. Bye.”

“Who was that?” Castiel asked.

“My brother. He’s gonna clear this up. Call the tow company, and he’ll take care of insurance.”

Castiel raised his eyebrows, getting his own phone out, which he realized had gotten spilled with the tea. And it was refusing to work. Great.

“Mine’s… not working,” he admitted. “Can… Can I…?”

Dean rolled his eyes, but held his phone out.

Castiel used it to call, ignoring how it was a much better model than his own, and was running on very high speeds. The battery probably cost more than his month’s salary. It seemed custom made.

He gave him the phone back when he was done, took one last look at his car, and then held his hand out for the keys.

“What?”

“You’re not driving.”

Dean put a hand on the Impala near the wind-shield.

“You’re not touching her.”

Cas put his hands in stuffed, damp pockets, trying to seem nonchalant, but really feeling irritated, tired, and awkward. And the headache from earlier was pounding at him with full force.

“Alright, good luck then.”

Dean grabbed his shoulder as he passed, and Castiel nearly gasped. How had he not realized how nice his hand was before? Wow, that was a gorgeous hand. Cas wondered if his own hands were bigger. For some reason the idea of that made him feel a bit warm.

The rockstar sighed, and then handed him the keys.

“Not a scratch.”

“Promise.”

#Destiel #Destiel fanfiction #Destiel AU #Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural fanfiction #SPN fanfiction #fanfiction #writing #my writing #Livin In You

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ziracona · 4 years

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What has been your favorite ilm chapter to write? Your least favorite? Do you have any interesting fun facts that were in cut pieces? I love this fic and the research put in is astounding. You put so much love into this. I'm glad to have been a reader :)

Thank you so much for asking this, and I’m really happy you have liked it! : ) Researching all kinds of wild stuff has been one of the most fun parts. (I’m holding the start of the answer to each question you asked, bc I talked about the first one for a while lol).

I do have a favourite chapter! I think to read, it would be a lot harder question, and there’d be a bunch of chapters tied, but as an author, my favourite chapter is most definitely Speak for the Dead. I have a lot of favourite moments and chapters, but that’s the one I’m most proud of. There’s a really rare thing in writing I call “script perfection,” which is not like, a perfect script in comparison to other scripts, it just means the version of the script that got shot/published was the best version of that particular script there ever could have been. It’s incredibly rare, and very hard to do. Even with films and shows I love, usually there will be seconds, sometimes minutes, off and on, that are the best version of those seconds there could have ever been. And the rest of it is great! It’s maybe the second or third or eighth-best it could have been, and that’s still super impressive--like man--eigth-best is still so close to 1st, eigth best is freaking phenomenal. It’s something to be really proud of. But that’s as high as it almost ever gets. For anything. Only extremely rarely is an entire script at 96% or above on script perfection. (I would say for reference that Galaxy Quest and The Incredibles are two such films).

It isn’t the most important part of a script or a story at all. Not by a huge amount. The quality of the story itself is. I have plenty of films that never hit 90% or above script perfection that I still prefer over films that did (like, Galaxy Quest is an amazing film, and I’m in awe that it hit that level of refinement, but I still like The Two Towers, which definitely did not, better. Because Sam’s speech at the end of it is enough to power me for a whole year). But it’s still such a rare thing. And god, it’s hard. Any kind of media is done on some kind of budget (be it financial or energy or both), and time constraint, and also it’s just not easy to do. Again, true-final-draft achievement (which is probably a better name for this bc it’s less confusing) is far from the most important or valuable aspect of a film, or play, or book, and it’s not necessary to make a story amazing. But it’s still always /so/ cool to see. It’s cool to see a nine minute continuous stretch of it even, on screen. And out of all the chapters I’ve written, the only one I think hit true-final-draft at least 96% or above, was Speak for the Dead. And that’s not embarrassing or anything. It’s wild. And I’m super proud of that. I’m proud I got even one. Because a lot of even my favourite books don’t. They just have perfected scenes, and a lot of them, but are not the best draft they could have been. Which does absolutely nothing to negate their worth as phenomenal books, but. I’m really, really proud of Speak for the Dead, and very happy with myself for having been able to do that at least once. I kind of treasure that.

It’s also a special chapter to me, because I had it only very loosely outlined/planned for at all, and it kind of came together on its own, and everything just came together and fell into place just right, and this chapter I had been really unsure of before starting turned into my favourite one in the entire fic. I like what I write, and I enjoy reading it myself, but there’s a line in Speak for the Dead where Tapp is trying to explain everything to Meg, about himself and his past and his family, and he’s been going through this like, awful mass of confusion and trauma and guilt and regret that’s all come to a head in this one day, and he’s found out who Amanda is and can’t deal with that and the person he knew, and the way Sing died, the choices she went on to make, and there’s so much even he doesn’t understand about how the world is falling apart around him, but somehow he figures it out enough to say it to Meg. And he has a line: “You’re supposed to stay late and work the extra eight hours overnight to catch the killer so somebody doesn’t die; you’re not supposed to go home to your family and give your kid a hug. It’s not as important, in an equation. It was my responsibility. And I didn’t get that the other job had its own set of rules. That the cop’s supposed to let the bus with his partner fall, but the dad’s supposed to let the fifteen people go and save his kid—he’s supposed to go running through crowded subway tunnels chased by gunmen, consequences be damned, to get them away from where his kid’s hiding. I didn’t get it. I don’t know why. I loved him right, but I didn’t act like it, because I thought I was doing the right thing. But if everybody’s just numbers, you lose anything that matters, no matter how high the numbers go up. And you don’t realize until it’s way too late that you do just as much good really helping one person you signed on to protect as you could have ever done bouncing off the lives of a hundred people who go on to be the next Jigsaw.”

And like. I fucking love that line. God. It’s such a hard thing to articulate, what he’s going through in that moment, and I try, but I think I often don’t do as good a job. But every time I read that last line it’s like a gut punch. And I really love it. How the fuck could you possibly feel after going through the experience he’s just had? It’s such a specific, indescribable kind of big, whole-world-view devestating.

There’s also a lot of really sweet moments with Meg, and Adam drugged and injured but trying really hard to help, and it’s a super understated chapter in a lot of the moments? Tapp’s one of my favourites to write, because of the way he thinks. He tries so hard to be lawful good in a world where there’s just no law at all anymore. And he’s older by far than anyone else, and thinks about the world that way. Honestly, it’s one of the most serious chapters. It’s less graphic than say Proven or The End of the Line, but it deals with some very not remotely fantastic and not pretty themes. It’s heavy. But I like the way it tells itself. I enjoy working in references when they make things fun, or better, or more meaningful, and I got to do that a lot. Plus, it gave Ace and Tapp a bunch of one-on-one time they didn’t really get on-screen as much in any of the rest of the fic, but I really loved it. The way they try to look after the people they care for, and how they understand each other. I just really fucking loved that chapter. Also, Tapp beat someone to death with a reverse bear trap that was still attached to his head so he could save Meg from dying in a way that would be super lastingly traumatic, and if that’s not the most metal thing I’ve ever heard? I really love Tapp. And I love that he sticks to the things he does. Meg never learns what Amanda was going to do to her, not in fic, not after. And Tapp does change how he does things are talking to Meg at the end of that chapter. Tapp’s the one who immediately says they can’t go public with any information on Rin until she’s passed on, even though it could really help them prove their case and hypothetically better protect the world, because he’s not willing to see a kid forced to revert to being violent and feral against her will in self-defense, or locked up in a government black site to get that. He did good. Life has not been kind to this poor man, but thankfully, Meg Thomas has.

Least favourite? Way harder. Hmmm. Always whichever one I wrote most recently 😂

In complete seriousness, I don’t think I have one? I have like 6 I consider “slightly-less-interesting” than the rest, but I don’t have one I hate period, or just dislike a lot. Uhhhh. If I had to pick one right now, I’d say Core Essentials, because I haven’t read it in over a year and don’t remember it as well as many others, and of the small number of chapters in the “Damn, been a hot minute, huh?” group, it’s the one I remember the least. This rating may change next time I actually read it, lol.

Hmmm. Interesting fun facts in cut segments. In the original draft for Shrouded, Claudette went into Philip’s basement and got a really good look at the other side of the wall, through one of the cracks, and saw the Entity and almost gave herself a panic attack. The other side of the basement wall was described as looking like the sun, like just looking at light, but only at first, and then there was movement like a snake coiling or some huge creatuer deep underwater sliding across your vision, too big to see, but alive in there in the middle of the light, and moving around, and it horrified her. It was extremely creepy but pretty cool.

The original draft for The Wraith included Philip experiencing fragmented audio memories from Signifying Nothing/his time with Vigo & co. while he was mostly unconscious. It was really cool and I forgot because I haven’t read it in forever, but it hinted at /way/ more of the plot to those past events. I really liked the draft, but ended up changing it into what was published because I’d never done anything with his memories before, and I didn’t want to disorient the reader too much (probably a good call, but it was still a neat scene in the OG form).

It’s not in the fic, but canonically, after leaving the survivors camp at the end of The Wraith, Philip came up with his plan to leave himself a message in the bell, and then called the Entity. Trying to talk his way out immediately failed, and it was shitty to him and pissed him off, and Philip had considered what might work on something like the Entity before calling it, and knew he was dead either way, so he tried to fight it. More to see if it would work than anything. He knew he would forget it even if he did, but sometimes impulses lingered, and it was possible if it worked, it would help him think of it again. He used his blood and drew a protective symbol against demons on his palm without it noticing, then rushed it, and it wasn’t scared of him so it didn’t give a fuck, but he smacked it with the charm and that actually succeeded in burning its talon (very little, but enough to cause it actual pain) and it flipped out and got extremely angry, and immediately stabbed him through the skull, which is why he returned with that chunk of his mask gone and has a scar on his forehead now. Originally, I was considering writing some of the events between The Wraith and Dawn from Philip’s POV, but decided it was much better sticking with the survivors and their uncertainty completely. Got to live in the anxiety baybeeee.

I’m sure there’s more but you activated my trap card asking about Speak for the Dead - a special interest- and I already made this long, so I should stop for now. Thank you again so much for asking! I hope my answers made sense are we’re at least kinda enjoyable to read. 💙💙💙

#ask #anonymous #in living memory #in living memory (fic)#writing #ilm spoilers #this was so fun and im glad i had an excuse to go writing meta haha. the one part of college i miss :’-)#thanks! 💙 it was really sweet. and fun to answer!#long post

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zmediaoutlet · 5 years

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Ahhh, I just saw your post about tarnishing the righteousness and it has me thinking, if all those interactions are after Dean goes to Hell? Because Meg 2.0 is, and so is Abaddon. Then it wouldn't be because he's the righteous man anymore, but perhaps that he is the righteous man fallen? (I also like the taste of Sam option too, quite a lot, Z). You make meta sound so stylistically story-like. Keep on keeping on! 👊

ah – this is re: this post (from two weeks ago; never let it be said I answer questions at all punctually), with these tags:

#what is the deal with demons and sexual assault and dean #i’m remembering some tearful line #‘what is it about me?’ #what is it really #is it that they all see what sam loves and want to–what? break it? #or the element of righteousness in him that attracts and then makes them want to destroy it #…that’s probably overthinking #but still #it’s such a weirdly constant element in the show

Setting aside that it probably is overthinking:

The crossroads demon all the way back in Crossroads Blues had this vibe, too. Soft & seductive is the crossroads way, of course, but that’s actually where we’re introduced to the concept of crossroads deals being sealed with a kiss–and it’s performed on Dean, with this specific line: I usually like to be warned before I’m violated with demon tongue. A little prophetic, there.

Meg 1.0 did it too, per a bud’s reminder, in Shadow. She macked on Sam, but she sat in Dean’s lap too, straddled him and got up in his business and was just as condescending as she could be.

But like–we get Azazel being condescendingly chummy with Sam. With Dean he leans in all close and literally! sniffs! him!, inches from his skin, arched in against Dean’s body. (Dean whump fans: that is a scene to rewatch until your VHS gets worn out. hooboy.) Abaddon wants to get all up in Dean’s pretty meatsuit; does she even talk to Sam? [ETA: oh yeah, she says that her Josie body is sexier than Sam. hdu, Abaddon.) Meg 2.0 kisses Dean in that gifset, for absolutely zero goddamn reason. Why? What is the deal?

The meta answer, of course, has something to do with Jensen. The way he exists on camera is… worryingly vulnerable, especially in earlier years, and he’s a very convenient and beautiful locus of vileness. Filmed often almost like a traditional female pulp character–think of that pan-up over his ass, and that was in the 4th episode ever, and it hasn’t really changed all that much since then. There’s a lot of attention paid to his big pretty eyes and how easy they go wet–to the sprawl of him, and his body. It’s almost creepy sometimes, honestly. Tied to the chair with his legs spread wide, again, and it’s erotic, but in a dangerously grimy way. How he reacts is interesting too–the sexual comments start and he half-smirks before his eyes and face and mouth all go defensively flat. You can’t get me with that, Dean seems to be thinking–except they can. (That this is such a constant thing, filmically speaking, sends me into paroxysms at least four times a year.)

If we take the text purely as text, however: I seriously love the ‘righteous man’ thing as a way to think about it. All these bad things fluttering up like evil moths to a pretty, pretty light. It’s nothing Dean did, ever (not that he would deserve it even if he had)–it’s literally built into the fabric of what he is. The Righteous Man, who will spill blood in hell. It’s a destiny that’s barreling toward him from long before he was born, and he can’t get away from it even after he got dragged out. –and he’s still Good, is the thing. He did get out, before he got changed. Maybe they’re jealous; maybe they just want to stain him. Maybe they want to remind him of everything that happened to him in the pit. Who knows. But man, is it grody that they do.

#spn #dean winchester #--to be clear: i enjoy how grody it is #it is a totally fascinating writing/acting/directing choice #your masculine big hero man who's constantly treated like a rapeable object #viewing him as a 'possession' of sam's is another way to think about it #but on reflection that only really works pre-s4 #when sam was supposed to be the lucifer vessel and azazel's student etc #afterward demons don't really seem to give sam much of the time of day #which is a whole other fascinating barrel of grody fish #anyway #spn meta #i guess #Anonymous

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gracekraft · 5 years

Text

Steven Universe - Punching Up

It’s the end of the year and I wanted to spend time reflecting on the Steven Universe comics that I spent the better part of the year writing. I feel like they come out so fast that I don’t have time to properly talk about them. So as the volumes have started coming out, I thought I would take some time to talk about each of the stories featured in each collection!

Issues #5-#8 are collected in this Steven Universe Punching Up, #5-#7 are stories I wrote while #8 was written by the incredible Melanie Gillman! The stories featured in here were some of the first stories I came up with when I pitched them to Boom.

Issue # 5 - A Day in the Life of Lion

Illustrated by the stellar Meg Omac! ( @magecom )

I always thought it might be fun to make a story featuring the kind of mischief Lion gets up to when Steven is around, which seems to be like 80% of the time. I also remember there was a Steven Universe panel a while back where a little kid asked where Lion was, so I thought kids might enjoy a Lion story too.

I was honestly a little surprised I was allowed to do this since it’s a departure of the Steven’s point of view only that the show goes for. I normally try to keep to that in writing the comics but thought it might be fun to deviate away from it slightly.

This story is essentially a series of vignettes about Lion’s day, so pretty much exactly what the title says. I always love those episodes in a show where they deviate away from the usual story and story-telling format where we get a glimpse into the life of a character we don’t see as often but their POV on events is refreshing. I also love those stories about the secret life that pets lead when their humans aren’t around a la Hamtaro. Sadly Lion does not have a fun crew of other magical lions to go on adventures with, but he still gets up to some innocent mischief around Beach City.

Lion and cat Amethyst’s shenanigans were definitely inspired by a super old comic I made about them interacting. I always thought it would be cute if Lion was curious about cat Amethyst and took care of her like a little kitten. Cat pals!

Lion messing up the things in Pearl’s room is definitely taken from many an experience of my dog doing the same. He gets into anything that isn’t behind a closed door or out of his reach, and it’s not unusual to come home the a grand mess. Sadly no matter what you say he won’t understand you, only act innocent and leave the scene of the crime. Thus Lion is no different.

Lion’s adventures on the boardwalk were fun. Sadie and Greg are some of my favorite humans, so I enjoyed giving them a little spotlight, especially with their wariness yet acceptance of the magical pink lion that inhabits Beach City.

I thought a short detour to Rose’s fountain would be a nice peaceful, introspective moment within the comic. But even when it seems a little deep, Lion still has his cat antics and moves on.

I also wanted to give Lapis and Peridot a little spotlight since I always enjoy their barn life shenanigans. I’m really happy with how Meg captured each of their personalities in this scene, it translated very well from the script!

Lion finally gets his lizard prey after traumatizing Peridot. Honestly I still have no idea what those lizards are. Tiny gem mutants? Gem-infuenced fauna?? Whatever they are Lion eats them so I continue to add them in. And of course I had to end these adventures with a brief encounter with Garnet, who has a silent understanding of Lion. And then bookending it with Connie and Steven’s return, blissfully unaware that Lion even moved from the spot they left him.

Peach Panther and Purple Puma

Illustrated by Rii Abrego! ( @riibrego )

My inspiration for this was Amethyst’s line to Pearl in “Back to the Barn” when she says “Hey Pearl, you should come wrestling with me sometime!” I thought it would be fun to revisit the wrestling ring once more in the comics, Tiger Millionaire was one of my favorite season 1 episodes and we pretty much had seen the last of it in the show after “Tiger Philanthropist.” Thus, this is supposed to take place later in time than it appears based on Amethyst’s season 1 attire in this issue, but sometimes miscommunication happens in the higher management.

I wanted to write a story where Pearl gets out of her comfort zone and lets loose for a while. When I first wrote this story, I was still dealing with burnout and insecurity after my previous job ended, and I channeled that frustration into this story. At the same time, this is also one of my more self-indulgent stories in that it’s filled with a lot of things I like (Beach City Underground Wrestling, Pearl and Amethyst having a fun time together, cute character shenanigans etc.) so it was great expressing my feelings in a story I especially enjoyed.

Inventing Pearl’s wrestling persona was really fun and I’m grateful to have had to chance to add something fun like that to the comic canon. Between Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, I figured Pearl’s persona should match the cat theme, and I really liked the sound of Panther (goes well with Puma). Pink Panther already exists so I tweaked it to be the Peach Panther. I’m super happy that Rii captured the exact look I was going for with Pearl’s outfit. Pearl is not a fan of shapeshifting (and now we know why) so I figured she would be able to at least give herself an outfit and Steven would help jazz it up with the silly pink cat ears.

I’m not the most knowledgable about wrestling so I did a lot of research to get the names of moves right for Mr. Smiley’s commentary. I also had to go back to see what the names of the Beach City wrestling team names were and what the individual fighting names were. It was fun getting to pick my favorites to feature in the comic!

I loved writing the last page because it has those cute, wholesome interactions I am all about in Steven Universe. I’m also super happy with how well my script translated to the final pictures!

The Crystal Gems and the Sea

Illustrated by Meg Omac!

I love revisiting tiny details from the show in the comics, and this one is no different with the focus on the Gem Sloop from “Cat Fingers.” I thought it would be fun to have the Gems and Steven go on a mission where they couldn’t simply warp there, a fun sea-faring mission! There’s definitely several stories in addition to this one where I figure out a scenario that I’d like the write and then work backwards to figure out how the characters end up there.

Steven and Onion stories tend to involve G.U.Y.S or G.A.L.S one way or another, so I thought it would only be fitting to start the story off with them. While Steven has matured quite a bit from the earlier days of the show, he still has a childish wonder about him, and I figure he still does that thing where he sees something in the spur of the moment and thinks about how fun it would be to also do that thing, and then he finds a way to do so. While he won’t go to the extent of jeopardizing a mission to have fun, if he can still fit some games into a less dire mission then where’s the harm?

I’m really happy with how the character acting came out for the Gems’ and Steven’s interactions. It warms my heart to see how the Gems have grown to trust him more and more as the show progressed. I wanted to add some moments that reflected this growth and had fun writing it in.

Also I have to share the description I wrote for the eel monster because this is the kind of stuff I actually write to give an idea of what I’m trying to describe. She also ended up looking like an aquatic cousin of Centipeetle, and Sea-ntipeetle if you will.

I see some folks picking these comics apart for details that hint at something in the show, but I’ll be completely honest, while I do my best to write close to what’s believable for the show, nothing ties directly to it. Any monsters or instances that seem to hint at something greater are usually just completely coincidental! But it makes me happy that folks enjoy what I add in the comics.

The action panels for the fight are some of my favorites. They came out nice and dynamic are really convey the type of action I was hoping for. Fun and exciting!

I always see some folks complaining about how “townie” episodes are boring filler, but I just can’t disagree more! There’s definitely some townie eps that are among my favorite episodes, because even if they’re not about epic Gem adventures (though some still are) they feature important lessons for Steven to learn from his human half. I thought it would be fun to have Onion and his Dad be integral to the mission because townies and the human half of Steven’s life is just as important and valuable.

And that concludes the issues I worked on in volume 2 of the Steven Universe Ongoing series. I still really love this first batch of comics. Rii and Meg really hit it out of the park and added their personalities to the comics and made for very fun reads!

#steven universe #steven universe ongoing #steven universe comics #steven universe comic #comic recaps

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vagrantblvrd · 5 years

Text

Complications (1/1)

Summary: The Vagabond has his phone.

Notes: Working on clearing out my WIP folder and found this which is a missing scene from A Better Place to Land based on an exchange with @miss-ingno. XD

(Read on AO3)

The Vagabond has his phone.

It’s...Gavin doesn’t know what it is, because it’s not as thought he could just make a phone call what with being tied up as he is. (Tied up, caught. In a bind, a pickle, all those lovely little sayings and turns of phrase that add up to trouble of the worst sort.)

Gavin is bored, though.

Hours of staring at blank walls and nothing to let him know what it is the Fakes want from him. (Everyone wants something in this city, and you don’t go abducting someone if you don’t think you can get your money’s worth out of them.)

He enjoyed the oh-so-charming company of Rimmy-whatsit until he was called away for some bit of business and the Vagabond had taken his place.

Waltzed on in pretty as you please and leaned up against the wall in front of Gavin to pull Gavin’s own phone out of his jacket pocket. And then he had the nerve to set to work trying to unlock it.

Puzzling away at it like it’s the daily crossword, an occasional hmph or huh or hmm to go along with the whole production as though Gavin’s not right there in agony over how terrible a job the man’s doing. (He’s been at it for absolute ages tap-tap-tapping away and no sign of progress to be seen!)

He doesn’t stalk over after failing to crack Gavin’s password for some length of time. Doesn’t loom or threaten or anything Gavin was expecting out of him. He’s not even looking at Gavin, focus on Gavin’s phone and the oh so challenging...challenge of unlocking it.

It feels less like mockery at this point and closer to gloating over the fact they’ve caught Gavin when everyone else in this godforsaken city hasn’t.

It’s just…Gavin doesn’t even know, and that’s even more maddening.

Gavin’s about to offer a hint, bit of a suggestion to help the man out when his phone rings.

It rings.

The Vagabond cocks his head, thumb hovering above the screen. Slowly looks at Gavin.

Gavin, for his part, is frozen in the chair.

Blood gone cold and all that because -

Gavin isn’t the sort to assign unique ringtones to his phone contacts. Doesn’t see the point, but as with anything there are exceptions.

“Queen fan?” the Vagabond asks, so bloody amused because he doesn’t know and now Gavin’s really in trouble, isn’t he, if this contact is calling him.

Finds out the spot of trouble Gavin’s gotten himself into this time and Gavin almost wishes the Fakes had killed him.

“Er,” Gavin manages, voice gone a little croaky on him. “Best not answer that.”

Still a chance he can slip this past them and all, if the bastard lets it go to voicemail. Convince them he misplaced is phone or some such afterwards, assuming he’s still alive by then. (Slim chance, but all Gavin has at the moment.)

Gavin’s not that lucky though, is he?

First he can’t avoid getting caught, and second, the Vagabond really is the bastard the rumors make him out to be because he chuckles.

This quiet little thing, still so damn amused as though Gavin’s obvious dread is just that entertaining – and he answers the damn phone.

Has been playing Gavin for a fool because he just taps in the password easy as anything and unlocks it to answer the phone.

“Hello?” he says, perfectly polite in a too-bright tone of voice.

Retail Voice, Gavin thinks dimly, reminded of his own he’d adopted years ago now, long before he threw himself into this terrible life of his.

Gavin can’t see the Vagabond’s grin under the mask of his, but he’s certain the smug bastard is enjoying Gavin’s clear discomfort over the call. Laughing his little black heart out as he watches Gavin squirm -

Until he isn’t.

Goes stone-cold still, doesn’t he. Frozen to the spot and all that out of shock or something close enough to it anyway.

It’s hard to be certain with the mask and wonky lighting, but Gavin’s swears the Vagabond’s eyes widen.

Which, given who’s on the other end of the phone call isn’t that shocking.

“...Meg?” he asks, stunned, surprised.

Clearly not expecting this turn of events.

Gavin – Gavin would like to know how the bastard knows Meg, but given their line of work it’s not too difficult to guess. (Small world, for people as skilled as them. Of course their paths would cross at some point.)

Gavin refocuses his attention on getting out of his bonds because there’s no way Meg hasn’t guessed something is wrong. Hasn’t figured out Gavin’s gone and gotten himself into the trouble she warned him about, so.

Yes.

He listens with half an ear to the Vagabond’s side of things as the man shakes himself out of his initial surprise and holds a conversation with Meg. Voice rising and falling, exasperation accompanied by hand gestures he glimpses from the corner of his eye.

“Do you mind?”

Short, sharp bark of the Vagabond’s voice has Gavin giving the man an incredulous look.

Not to be rude, but he’d rather take his chances with the Vagabond and the rest of the Fakes than face Meg’s wrath and all that. (Safer, too.)

He’s got one hand free of the ropes and is working at undoing the knot on the other and close to freedom (escape) and the damned Vagabond expects him to stop just because he says so? (And so rudely too.)

“Well, I mean,” Gavin says, trying for a pleasant little smile. Wouldn’t want to bother the nice Vagabond while he’s on the phone and all, be a nuisance. “You’re a bit busy, I thought I might make myself scarce to give you some privacy?”

That nets him a disbelieving look from the Vagabond, followed by a frown as he tips his head closer to the phone.

Meg, and oh dear God, Gavin is surely dead this time. All the good-will he’s built up with her smashed to smithereens thanks to his idiocy.

“She wants to talk to you,” the Vagabond says, calculating look in his eye as he walks over and takes in the results of Gavin’s escape-in-progress.

Gavin eyes him. The phone in his hand. Looks down at the tangle of his bonds he’s still working his way free of.

“...I’d rather not?” he says. “Bit tied up at the moment.”

He hadn’t meant to make a joke of it, but he’s not at his best.

The Vagabond growls, shoving the phone at Gavin and Gavin...Gavin sighs because it seems as though there’s no escaping his fate.

Takes the phone with his free hand and smiles as he answers. Uses that to help get his cheer on as he greets Meg.

“Ah, hello, Turney,” he says, and winces because that was not the best route to take. “Er. Meg.”

There’s silence, edged with razor blades, and then a very put upon sigh from Meg.

“Hello, Gavin, she says, bright and bubbly. “How are you this fine day?”

Oh, that’s not good at all, is it?

There’s a specific edge to Meg’s voice, this what did you do now? that doesn’t bode well for him the next time they happen to meet.

Speaking of -

“Are you at the airport?” Gavin asks, straining to hear a voice in the background that sound suspiciously like a boarding announcement. “I thought you were on a job?”

Meg hmms, and Gavin can imagine the expression on her face at the moment.

“I was,” she says, twittering little laugh because she’s in public and can’t lecture him the way she so clearly wants to. “But them Mariel sent along an interesting tidbit of information about things in Los Santos and I finished things up here early.”

Gavin frowns, eyes flicking up to see the Vagabond watching him. Curious tilt to his head and this...it’s not amusement to him anymore, but something else Gavin can’t quite place.

“Ah,” Gavin says. “I see.”

Meg is silent, waiting for Gavin’s confession which is bad. Means she’s well and truly annoyed with him, tipping towards angry.

“Well,” he says, and doesn’t know how to continue, or even if he should since he’d just be digging the hole he’s found himself in deeper. “Yes.”

The Vagabond snorts, having moved on from mild curiosity and back to amusment.

“You know, love,” Gavin says, because the man has been nothing but irritating about this development. “I’m sure the Vagabond could tell the story far better than I could.”

The part where they caught up to him, at least. Everything else Meg will squeeze out of Gavin himself when she gets back to Los Santos. (Which going by the boarding announcements being made, will be soon enough.)

Meg hmms again, that thread of oh, you are in for it buster not directed at Gavin this time, which is a good sign.

“Play nice until I get there,” she instructs, tone brooking no argument. “And put him on the phone.”

Well, it’s not as though Gavin had much choice in the matter anyway, but the thought of her rushing back to Los Santos to save him from himself is reassuring.

“Of course,” he says, and the smile that tugs at his mouth feels genuine. “Have a safe flight, love.”

He’s laying it on thick, but he’s also learned it’s one of the best ways to soothe her frayed temper. (Oh, she knows what he’s doing, but seeing as she allows it she can’t be that bothered.)

“Charmer,” she murmurs fondly.

Gavin laughs, looking up to find the Vagabond still watching him – bit creepy that.

“She’d like to have a few words,” he says, and laughs again at the way the man’s eyes narrow behind his mask, gaze darting to the phone Gavin’s holding out to him like it’s a venomous snake. “Quickly now, she has a flight to catch.”

He gets another little growl for that, and then the Vagabond’s plucking the phone out of his hand and turning his back to Gavin to talk to Meg.

Gavin glances down at his bonds, half undone and sighs to himself.

All that work of getting himself loose (half-loose?) and for naught, since Meg seems to think it’s a better choice to go along with whatever the Fakes want with him than escape their clutches.

The Vagabond makes this – he whines like a child denied a treat – and glances over his shoulder at Gavin – but then he goes quiet.

Nods his head along to whatever Meg’s telling him and sighs, as though she’s asking something inexpressibly terrible of him.

“Fine,” he mutters sulkily. “No killing.”

He's still looking at Gavin, something accusatory about it now, like this is all Gavin’s fault. (Which. Not entirely wrong.)

Several minutes go by with the Vagabond making these little noises of agreement and capitulation before he hangs up, wishing Meg a safe flight as well, and then he just.

Stares at Gavin.

Puzzling through the hows and whys of how in the hell Gavin met someone like Meg, let alone counted among the select group of people Meg’s fond of. (Enough to speed up her schedule, risk botching a job for.)

Gavin’s aware his association with Meg will complicate matters once the Fakes get around to whatever they plan to do with him, but that’s not his problem, is it? He didn’t ask to be abducted and carted off to this bland little hidey spot of theirs, after all.

“Well then,” Gavin says, not sure what else to say. “I did tell you not to answer.”

#ragehappy #A Better Place to Land #vagrant fic

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aj-artjunkyard · 5 years

Text

Trials Of Apollo Oneshot Series CHAPTER SIX

Takes place after the burning maze. Spoilers!

Meg propped her red high-tops up on the wooden table, engorging herself in a greasy chicken wing. I myself reclined on the sofa next to her, chewing on the best tasting fish I’d come across in a long time. The aurae brought whatever food the demigod, legacy or ex-god would like best. In my case, it was a typical ancient greek dinner - grilled fish with a small side dish of olives and olive oil. It reminded me of the old days, the heavenly smell wafting from my mother’s kitchen (minus the olives of course, as they had not yet been invented) while young Artemis and I played with nymphs, climbed trees and held archery competitions. Granted, my mother usually added a garnish of ground ambrosia, but that was slightly too impossible for me in my current state. Still, the thought brought tears to my eyes. I missed my sister and mother, more than words could describe. I managed to blink back the moisture welling up, but I was still glad we dined alone.

Our table looked pathetically desolate compared to the tables around us, which held fifteen demigods each. No one really wanted to talk to those who had pulled their respected leader into a quest which had gotten him killed. So, with our backs to the crowd, we ate in thoughtful silence (at least on my part) until Meg stirred me from my nostalgic reverie.

“You think Ella will finish the book thing in time?” Meg asked, pulling a chicken bone from her mouth and flicking it across the table.

“The Sibylline Books.” I corrected.

“Same difference.”

“That’s my line.”

“Will they be ready or not?”

I sighed with exasperation at the impatience of my master.

“I do not know.”

Meg rolled her eyes.

“You never know anything.”

“Hey! I know as much as my father has left intact in my memories, and that is not my fault.”

Meg ignored my defence, and leaned over to my plate to prod my fish in the eye.

“That’s gross,” she said, screwing up her face.

“Yes,” I agreed. “It is in fact disgusting to poke someone else’s food when they know you haven’t washed your hands.”

“Not that, dummy.” She pointed at my forkful of fish, which was halfway to my mouth. “That.”

I rolled my eyes and took another bite. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s hardly cooked.”

“It’s grilled.”

Meg stuffed her face with another few bites. Her mouth was so full I was surprised she could still breathe. “Aren’t you supposed to put batter on it or something?” She asked, spraying my face with spit and bits of chicken. I grudgingly wiped it off.

“Is there anything you Americans don’t deep fry?”

In response, Meg lifted her feet off the low table, swivelled around and dropped them heavily onto my legs. She was now lying the length of the sofa while half-draped over me, pinning me to the soft cushioning. “Ow.”

She snorted at my discomfort, then continued to inhale her meat.

My mind wandered around the possibilities of ever seeing my family again. My uncle Poseidon, who had always been my favourite uncle (although my only other uncles are either titans or Hades, so I guess that doesn’t come across as much of a compliment, but it is). My good friends, Hermes and Dionysus, who were always up for a good prank on Ares or ready with a bottle of wine after an awful day (but remember, alcohol is bad, kids. We only drink it because we are each over 3000 years old. Do not attempt until you are the same age, no matter what Dionysus tells you). My sister, the sharp huntress whom I would defend to the death. My mother. Sacred Sibyl, I missed my mother. I missed her warm hugs, her sweet honeysuckle scent, her soft, caring voice. I couldn’t stand the thought of never feeling her comforting presence again. I had to get home.

…

I woke, drenched in cold sweat and gasping for breath. ‘Blasted nightmares,’ I thought, desperately trying to rip the sheets off myself with shaking hands. My legs were still partially entangled when I attempted to stand, resulting in me thumping loudly to the floor. I grasped around in the dark for the small bedside table to help me stand. When I found the edge, I began to pull myself up, but the table tipped, sending me back to the hard floor and spilling its contents onto my head. The digital clock that clattered beside me read 01:38. I growled at it and stood, despite my quaking limbs. My nightmares had wildly unsettled me in ways I wouldn’t tolerate. ‘You’ll never hang onto those memories’, they taunted. ‘Give it a week and you won’t even remember their names’.

“Shut up, shut up!” I hissed to myself. I began wondering, stumbling towards to bookshelf at the end of the long room. ‘What kind of brother forgets a sibling?’ “Stop.” ‘What kind of son?’ “Stop it!”

I began to yank old, dusty, leather bound books from the shelf, looking for anything with my name on the front. I needed to remember me. Anything. Anything at all. Finally, a large black book with the emboldened golden letters ‘APOLLŌ’ printed on the spine caught my attention. It was a few inches thick and the cover was almost as wide as my chest. Eyes widening, I harshly ripped the book out from its place, the sudden weight bearing down on my weak arms almost causing me to drop it. I did not wish to make any more noise than I already had. I wrapped it in my gangly human arms and lugged it out the door.

I cannot say I knew where I was headed. I simply needed to get somewhere, to feel the crisp night wind sting my skin into feeling anything but numbness. I found myself marching up a hill. The extra muscle exertion distracted me from my troubles, so I kept climbing. A good way up the hill, I started to feel the pull of the familiar. Temple Hill. I scanned the assorted statues and . There was no particular order, other than ‘most important at the top’. Further on, a massive red crypt loomed, decorated with flames and human skulls. The name Mars Ultor came to me, but I overlooked it. My mind was so busy with rushing thoughts and doubts that I feared any more information might make my brain explode.

My fingers fidgeted with the tears and rough leather texture of the book in my grasp. I felt as if a band composed of nothing but timpani were performing a drumroll in my mind, getting more and more intense with each passing second. Unable to stand still for much longer, I bolted to my right, keeping my head down and following whatever path was under my feet.

Maybe the last scraps of my godly essence guided me to the place it felt most at home. My mind was caught in such a flurry of panic that I barely noticed I was climbing marble steps until the steely cold shocked my unprotected soles. I was in an circular, open room held up by bronze pillars that were rimmed with gold. A golden dome sat over my head, and an array of my favourite items littered the right side of the room - a golden bow, a quiver stocked with arrows, an elegant grand piano. In the middle of the temple, an altar sat, waiting for sacrifices. I padded to the back of the room, my bare feet echoing on the smooth marble. Sliding my back down a pillar, I sat and heaved the book open. I was too flustered to have possibly read a word, but the pictures soothed me. There were a few century-old ink sketches of the 'Apollo Belvedere’ in Rome, next to a modern Polaroid marked ‘Latona and Her Children, Apollo and Diana, carved 1874’ I smiled at the tranquil scene. Mother rarely appeared as such now, certainly not after the invention of many modern braid styles (she got me to teach her how to use Instagram so she can ‘see the videos all those pretty young ladies post’ and learn new hairstyles. She’s admittedly very talented. We tied on our self-held Let’s See Who Can Braid Their Hair The Fastest completion). A tear dripped onto the picture. I turned the page.

This one showed the ‘Diana as Huntress’ statue in Berlin. Artie always huffed about her statues, said they were ‘Too dramatic’. She questioned why she, a seasoned hunter, would ever stand around and wait around for the wind to blow the right direction just so she could look cool to the monsters charging at her and her girls. She can say what she likes, but I know that she prefers it when sculptors include her dogs. Just a thought for any artists out there, looking to gain Diana’s favour *wink*. I grinned at the thought of her thirteen year old form pouting up at me. The memory was fuzzy, but still clearer than usual. I turned the page again.

Again and again I flicked through photos of my relatives, skimming over the paragraphs just enough that it reminded me of their names and their relationships with me. Hermes/Mercury was my impish best friend, who I’d vowed to love for eternity. Hera/Juno was my stepmother who caused my mother and siblings nothing but pain, but somehow we respected each other enough to eat cabbage together and compliment each other’s hair. Dionysus/Bacchus was the ultimate party-man, often inviting me to play for his revelries.

I turned the page once more. This time, I was met with an image that spanned the length of the two pages. At the top of the page, black threatening letters spelled out ‘JUPITER, FATHER OF APOLLO’ and in smaller writing ‘St Petersburg, Hermitage Museum’. Even from glancing into those blank, marble eyes, my anger spiked. ‘There he is’, I thought, ‘sitting all smug on his little stupid throne-’ I admit, my thoughts turned to bitter toddler-like insults. But looking at the god responsible for my misery made me want to throw the book across the temple and storm away. So I did just that. The book smacked into the alter (which tipped) and thumped open onto the floor cover side up, the crusty pages wrinkling under the force. I left the hook where the golden bow had hung empty as I went.

…

Twang!

The arrow just inside the red circle of the target, and I mentally awarded myself seven points. Not that it mattered. Judging by the moon’s position in the inky sky, it was now 3am - I had been at Camp Jupiter’s open-air archery range for almost two hours. No one else had been here when I arrived, and I was glad it had stayed that way. I needed time alone. To stew. I had first come out with the intention to ‘practice’ (still an alien concept to ex-flawless archers such as myself), but now, this long into the session, I was only blowing off steam. Channeling my frustration into every loose of an arrow, imagining the target as everyone who had wronged me over the course of this forsaken punishment. My knuckles tightened. My eyes narrowed. My shoulders tensed.

Twang! An arrow buried itself deep in the flesh of Commodus’ shoulder.

Twang! A wooden shaft protruded from Caligula’s throat.

Twang! Blood seeped through the mauve suit surrounding Nero’s manipulating, insensitive heart.

Twang! Zeus howled in pain at the arrow embedded in his sternum.

Twang! Python writhed in agony, agony he deserved-

“Apollo!”

I yelped and my shot went wildly off course, flying high with no power or distance, and landing in the grass in front of the target with a thud. Whipping around, I was about to tell whoever it was to GO AWAY when I was met with an equally startled young man, dressed in pyjama bottoms and the signature purple Camp Jupiter t-shirt, with the gold letters SPQR emblazoned boldly on the front. He quickly raised his hands in a placid manner, showing that he meant no harm. Nevertheless, I remained on guard. There had been a few who had not exactly welcomed the bearers of Jason’s coffin warmly, and this had been a close friend of the son of Jupiter. I feared I could not take this particular demigod in a fight. Even though he looked to be not much older than myself, he towered above me - perhaps a few inches beyond six foot tall, which made my lanky 5”6 feel minuscule. He had handsome asian features and soft brown eyes that I wagered could shift from kindness to anger in moments. He wore jet black hair in a military cut, making him seem like the world’s youngest army general.

“Frank Zhang.” I nodded to him once before turning back to my anger outlet. I was in no mood to talk. Not after loosing any way to contact my family. Not after loosing my memories to oblivion. Not after loosing Jason. Not when I knew he could react violently, as some already had. And if his heritage and blessing from Mars went against my mortal pathetic self, I doubted I would last more than ten seconds. Thankfully, he did not look like he came to pick a fight. He came forward and stood beside me silently, watching as I drew back the bowstring. I felt his eyes bore into me, assessing my posture, my strength, my balance. It was off-putting. That, dear readers, is why my arrow went rogue. It wasn’t my fault. It thunked into the wooden leg that held up the target. I felt my cheeks redden. I glared at the stupid arrow, willing it to pick itself up and hover over to the bullseye. Unsurprisingly, this did not happen. It stubbornly stayed where it was, planted in the wood.

I really hated having an audience for my failures, especially if the audience was a child who had once hoped and prayed for me, the Great Golden Archer, to be his father. I doubted Frank felt such a longing anymore. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was smiling sympathetically at me, having witnessed my disgraceful excuse for a shot for the first time. I decided that Gaia coming back and swallowing me whole at that exact moment would not have been protested against.

“Here,” Frank said calmly, reaching towards me and adjusting my grip on the bowstring. “You’re gripping the string too far up your fingers. You don’t want to make a fist around it.” He peered down at my feet. “And you’re too tense. Relax your stance a little.” I obliged, already seeing my stupid mistakes. My cheeks seemed to heat up even more, and I found myself resisting the urge to bury my acne-ridden face in my hoodie. Frank seemed to notice, and backed off, instead ambling over to a small supply shed where he scooped up a bow and a fistful of arrows. I kept myself occupied from the daunting future that would have Frank humiliating me by nocking another arrow. This time, I tried to take on board what advice I’d been given.

I angled my left foot closer to the direction of the target, so I took on a more open stance, then checked my fingering was correct. Taking a deep breath, I used my back muscles to push my shoulder blades together as to take the strain off my arm and shoulder muscles - an unforgotten golden rule of archery. I drew back the bowstring until I reached my anchor point (the index finger touching the corner of my mouth), and fired. Twang! Not a bullseye, but well within the first yellow circle. I grinned in delight. Success was a rare feeling nowadays.

“Good job.” He congratulated quietly, grinning and turning to his own target. We both drew our bows.

After about ten more shots, and four bullseyes on my part (how many frank got is not relevant, moving on), Frank suggested we go back inside.

“It’s early,” he said, rubbing his eyes and letting out a yawn. He started walking down towards the fifth cohort’s barracks, so I followed. “We should get back. Jason’s funeral is later, and you’ve barely been to sleep.”

“How did you know?”

Frank scratched the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly.

“Well, you made a bit of a racket when you were leaving the barracks. What with the whole…falling and throwing books and stuff…”

Yup. The ground was more than welcome to swallow me now. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I felt my acne-riddled face turn tomato coloured for the umpteenth time that morning, and glared at the grass.

“Apologies.” I muttered. “I panicked.”

“Yeah, you seemed upset so I told the others to leave you alone. I thought maybe you wanted some peace and quiet. But you were gone for ages, so I came to find you.”

I shot him a questioning look. ‘Why?’ He read my mind.

“It’s my job as Praetor to make sure everyone’s safe,” he explained, his chest puffing out slightly at the little self-reminder of his recently increased status. “And, it sucks. To loose people, I mean.”

I looked up at the Roman. His eyes were shimmering with tears, but he looked me in the eye anyway. He wasn’t afraid to show emotion, which was a rare trait, especially in the legion, but one I had always admired.

“I only knew him for a few hours. Why do I feel so awful?”

“Because Jason was a great demigod. The greatest. He made an impact on everyone he talked to.” -Frank gestured around the camp- “He really made an impact here. Especially with the loser fifth cohort.”

“He-he told me to fulfil his promise. To build temples for every god in the pantheon.”

“Yeah. He could be like that. Noble, even at the worst of times. But that’s not the reason you’ve been drilling holes into the archery equipment for an a few hours straight.”

I answered with all the intelligence of someone who hadn’t slept since 1am.

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think to check here first,” he said. “I went up to your temple.”

I got flashbacks to my toddler-esque temper tantrum.

“Ooh. Yeah…”

“Yeah.” He responded in a tone that said ‘been there, done that, got the t-shirt’. “Families are messy.”

“I miss them.”

“That’s normal. Bitterness is normal. You aren’t being overdramatic.”

I smiled at the confirmation.

“Thanks. It means a lot.”

We were back at the barracks. Frank smiled at me one last time and patted me on the back, before lumbering in. I followed.

I slept soundly the rest of the night.

…

I walked, lead-legged, up Temple Hill. The whole camp was eerily quiet. Jason’s body had been given proper honours, and the legion had been given the day off from duties. I couldn’t stand the prying eyes of 200 kids for much longer, so, even while I had only gotten four hours of sleep and was weighed down with grief, I travelled to the only place in the camp that was truly ‘mine’.

Tired and weary, I plopped down on the seat of the sleek, white grand piano. I ran my fingers across the smooth fallboard for a solid minute of distracted silence, before lifting it to reveal the ivory keys. They were chipped and yellowed and seemingly out of place compared to the stark white of the piano itself, were inevitably out of tune. I played a short scale, opened up the lid and tightened the loose turning pins I had hit, then continued with my scales. I repeated until I was positive that every key was in perfect harmony, which took all of ten minutes.

Satisfied with the tuning, I took a deep breath and splayed my fingers out on the keyboard, and played a tune that inspired grace and felt to me like a ballerina daintily dancing on water. After a second, the fingering flowed into my memory, allowing my hands to glide elegantly across the piano while I stared over the rim and through the gaps between the temple’s pillars, and into the distance. The sky was clear and perfect blue, and the warm breeze swept gently through my hair. I remembered sitting with my mother on Delos, our shoulders touching as together, we played two parts of the same harmony. Like two streams running down a mountain, weaving around each other and sometimes intersecting to make one stronger melody. My heartbeat calmed from the stress of what was now everyday life to me. Peril, danger and death.

A jarring dissonance of notes jolted me back to unwelcome reality. I rolled my eyes glared at the pudgy young demigod beside me.

“You know, there are ways to make your presence known without scaring flocks of birds away.”

“Yeah I know,” Meg replied shrugging. “But it’s not as fun as watching you jump ten feet in the air.”

“I wasn’t scared! I knew you were beside me!”

“Uh huh,” she grunted, turning her attention to the keys and banging a few more notes without mercy.

“I just tuned those, you monster.”

Meg smirked. Then she ordered me to shift over on the bench, and practically bounced down in the middle, leaving me with one leg hanging off the side.

“Teach me that one. The one you were playing.”

I was too taken aback to argue it’s difficulty, especially for a beginner. I thought we had long since given up on the piano lessons (Meg was not very good), and even if we hadn’t, this tune was graceful and elegant - not words commonly used to describe Meg McCaffrey. But I admit, I missed playing with someone. And so we began.

“Why don’t you watch me first, try to absorb as much of the tune as possible before I teach you the left hand.”

Meg tried to hide her smile.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Bit of a shorter chapter this time. Sorry for the long wait, I started writing out several completely different chapters and never finished them because they just weren’t good enough. Also, the point about ‘No romance’ in these chapters still stand. Frank and Apollo were written as a kid and an adult becoming good friends, NOT BOYFRIENDS.

#toa #trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #TOA oneshot #story #fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfic stuff #fanfics

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