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milktei · 1 year

Note

When you write angst/fluff one shots, I love how you indulge more with your character's feelings and not just straight up jumping to the good part where everything's alright. Specifically during "Again" and "Fine". Would you mind writing the same stuff but with a bit of hostile management of actions whilst in a disagreement with the reader? Will writing for Kuroo or Ushijima okay? ( I think you've taken a liking to Sakusa so I'm not sure if you want the first two captains.) Anyhow, I'm frankly talking about a bit of viol3nce. In this view, how would they speak up their mind and resolve the matter maturely?

Of course when you're available, thank you for your time:3

Love Sealed in Gold

Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!Reader

Genre: Angst, tiny bit of hurt/comfort

Warnings: Violence (not towards reader), Possible oocness again. Not edited :P

The pace that i managed to get this out is surprising even to me :o But i had an idea the moment i read the ask!! Isn’t that crazy???

the fact that it’s obvious that sakusa is my fav is kinda embarrassing ngl HAHA BUT i just enjoy writing for haikyuu so don’t worry about requesting people i haven’t written on!

hope you enjoyed this anon! i couldn’t in good conscious add anymore “violence” than i did. what i wrote is really tiptoeing the line for me.

That being said anyone who reads this please don’t take this as me saying to forgive everyone who acts like Ushijima does in this, of course every situation is different but i don’t want it to seem like this is acceptable behaviour and something a person should have to deal with and accept. Violence is a scary and serious thing especially in a relationship so stay safe!

Anyways the idea of using Kintsugi as a metaphor in writing isn’t exactly new but i hope you guys enjoy my take on it and how i wrote it :)

The Japanese art of Kintsugi is a method of fixing broken pottery that has been popularized all over the world, romanticized even. Something about using the precious material that gold is (among other materials), to put something back together seems to tear into the hearts of people all over the world. So much so that companies even sell their own Kintsugi kits where you can break the provided pottery and put it back together yourself.

How ironic, to buy something only to break it and go through the tedious task of connecting all the broken pieces back together again.

Many hold the belief that kintsugi hold its own deeper meanings. Some say it shows that something breaking and being repaired shouldn’t be covered up, but instead embraced, as it is a part of that objects history.

A more pessimistic view on the subject could be the fact that no matter how beautiful the broken pottery looks, it will never be the same again.

As you stand looking at your boyfriend with only horror filling your body, you could only think about the same could be said for your relationship.

You knew from the get go that getting into a relationship with the Ushijima Wakatoshi was going to be a tough mountain to climb. Anyone from family, friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers had warned you of that fact.

From his personality, to his schedule and the demands that came with being a professional athlete; it seemed that everything was put against the two of you.

But he was the one to ask you out, to court you, the one who crossed the line from friends to potential lovers. That was something that no one could deny being surprised about.

Yes your boyfriend was intimidating, seemingly expressionless and emotionally constipated. But you loved him, and he loved you.

You could work around schedules, you understood why he works as hard as he does, and learning who he really was something that came with time.

As your relationship progressed you could really begin to see what kind of person he was, and how the most subtle changes in his demeanour could signal a change in mood.

But this behaviour was not subtle, it was pronounced, loud, it filled the entire room and made it difficult to breathe properly.

You could barely remember what you two were arguing about this time. Perhaps how you acted during a charity event? How he was running late to a date and didn’t text or call to let you know? it seemed to be a trend for you two in the last couple of weeks. Pick at every little thing one found less than pleasing and then getting mad when the other tried to defend themselves.

This cycle had been going on for far too long and both of you were tired of it, but at the same time too stubborn, too proud to admit defeat.

It was late, far too late for the both of you to be awake, it was far from an appropriate time for you two to be arguing at the volume you were, but whatever exhaustion either of you felt was smothered by a whirlwind of emotions and stubbornness.

Ushijima wiped a hand down his face in frustration from where he sat at the dinner table. Across the room you paced, ranting about your point in the argument that had only been going in circles at this point.

“I-it’s like you can’t even bring yourself to care anymore!” you exclaimed frantically.

A piercing glare was sent your way and it took everything in you to not shrink away from it.

He stood up, with his size, the action in itself felt extremely intimidating, but you felt the way he talked down on you much more severely.

To further articulate his words, a palm would slam down on the surface of the table, so hard that you could feel the vibration in the floor. Each slam was louder and each time you flinched.

His words grew harsher, louder, and more pointed with each sentence. The look of pure, searing anger and hatred on his face kept you frozen in your place.

The man in front of you was unrecognizable, the man in front of you was not the gentle giant you loved. If anything, he was exactly like how many people would describe him upon meeting him. If not worse.

His words, which had now become shouts swirled in your mind, your eyes began to sting as tears began to well in your eyes. All you could think about was how you wanted this to stop, how if only your body would listen to you and move so that you could begin to ask for forgiveness. How you would give anything right in that moment for him to stop yelling and to stop looking at you like you were dirt on his shoe.

Your prayers were soon answered by the sound of shattering ceramic.

The gasp you let out was visceral, uncontrollable, you couldn’t hold it back if you tried.

The fire in his eyes seemed to die out all at once, his gaze moved to his outstretched arm and he look at it as if it had a mind of its own.

His arms were his prized possession even if he never said it out loud, some would go as far to say that they were something to be celebrated. His arms that can hit a volleyball with the utmost precision, arms that brought him to victory and through loss. Strong arms that held you at night and provided you with a great amount of comfort some could only dream of.

Arms that now only served to fill your body with dread.

A vase, along with all its contents was shattered on the hardwood floor.

It had chipped the paint on the wall beside him where the impact initially happened, water that splattered the surface had begun dripping to the ground.

You both recognized the vase, how could you not?You had gone out together to buy it when he had brought you flowers for the first time and you had realized you had nothing to put them in. After moving in together, you used it as a center piece for your dining table.

How sad that an item so fragile and small could hold so much meaning, and that it now lay broken, it was almost as if it were mocking you.

The room was silent as the both of you stared at the scene before you. Minds reeling as you both tried to process the events that had just unfolded.

Ushijima had thrown the vase at the wall in a fit of anger.

“y/n-“

“Don’t”

You looked up at him and wondered if the conflicted emotions that flickered across his face mirrored your own.

You looked away and took a shaky breath. “An apology won’t fix it. You can’t throw and break something, especially not that, and just expect me to be able to hear and accept an apology, not now, not for this.”

His mouth snapped shut and the tension that filled the room was suffocating. Every time you glanced at the broken ceramic the urge to cry grew and grew.

You wrapped your arms around yourself and took a step back, “I’m…” You swallowed roughly as your voice cracked, “I’m going to the bedroom, you need to clean that up and it’s obvious that we need time to cool down.”

With one last glance at the scene, you turned on your heel and made your way towards your shared room, not seeing the look of anguish that Ushijima held on his face as the watched you leave his sight.

You softly closed the door behind you and as it clicked shut, the realization of what had just transpired fell upon you like waves during a storm.

Despite popular belief, Ushijima had never been an intentionally violent man. The only harm he had caused was on the court, where it wasn’t uncommon for athletes to get injured no matter how good or bad they played.

But tonight, he had no reason to do what he did, there was no excuse even if it was the nth argument of the week. The Ushijima you knew was emotionally intelligent enough to know that he did not have to go through the actions of picking up the vase and throwing it at the wall in order to let his anger be known. He did not need to do that to show you how angry you made him.

His anger had been shown all throughout the night. It was practically palpable.

Your legs shook underneath you as you tried to make it to your bed but your efforts were in vain, you crumpled to the cold hard floor, feeling like you were in pieces, much like the ceramic on the floor of your dining room.

You desperately tried to hold yourself together as you replayed the what had just unfolded again and again in your mind. Not understanding why you felt so conflicted.

Fear. You realized.

Fear is what you felt, refused to believe. How could you fear the one you loved?

And yet every part of your body rejected the idea of your boyfriend and urged you to be afraid of him. Afraid of the only man who could make you as happy as he did.

The man who was supposed to make you feel loved, protected, and safe was the same man that made you feel the complete opposite.

Your chest ached and you breathing quickened, now fully aware of the situation you found yourself in. You were afraid of your boyfriend and didn’t know what that meant for the future of you relationship.

He was- is all you ever want, you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone but him, but how were you supposed to move on from this? You now knew how he could react in times of great anger, what if it only got worse from here?

It was then that you finally allowed yourself to cry. After all that had happened you didn’t know where your relationship stood.

It was only after a couple minutes that the door to the bedroom began to open ever so slightly, at a pace so slow you couldn’t even see or hear it through your sobs.

“y/n?” His voice managed to spit out. He was quiet, uncertain, he feared for what your reaction may be at him being there at that moment.

You didn’t respond to him but he knew that you knew he was there, even as sobs racked your body and you pressed a hand to your mouth in a feeble attempt to quiet them.

Slowly, as if not to startle a deer in the forest, Ushijima sank to the floor from where he stood. Keeping an eye on you as he sat down, angling himself so that he was looking at the far wall and you wouldn’t be forced to make eye contact if you could find it in yourself yourself to look up at him.

This was far from ideal to him. He wanted nothing more than to scoop you into his arms and bring you to bed, quiet your cries as he held you tight and told you that it would pass and by the morning it would be a thing of the past.

But he knew better. He knew that he was the reason for your tears and the last thing that you needed was for him to wrap his arms around you.

He was aware of your fear before you were. The horrified look you gave him would be something that would stay engrained in his mind for years to come.

He was only used to you looking at him with love and happiness in your eyes and he had managed to ruin that in one night.

“I know that you don’t want an apology right now.” Ushijima started, he looked down at his hands and clenched them together to prevent them from trembling. “But I just wanted to let you know that… I am fully aware of how unacceptable my actions were tonight, that was no way to take out my anger and I should know better than to display my anger in the way that I did.”

Your cries had stopped at this point but you still trembled, still it brought him the smallest amount of comfort knowing that you were likely listening to him now.

“You deserve better than my misplaced anger, and you have every right to be angry with me, to not want to even be in this room, in this house with me right now. If you wanted to leave-“

His breath hitched and he found himself looking down at the hands in his lap with disgust and sadness.

“If you wanted to leave right now I would understand, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”

Your head lifted ever so slightly and it gave him the confidence to keep going,

“I’ll get help, I’ll find other ways to channel my emotions. Along with that I’ll ask you for your feedback on how you think I’m doing, if what I’m doing makes me worthy of being with someone like you. It won’t start more fights I promise.”

He smiled at himself sadly “You seem to know me better than I know myself at times and that’s one of the reasons I fell in love you. I don’t think I could forgive myself for losing you if I didn’t put as much effort into trying as I could.”

The room was filled with silence once again as Ushijima finished talking. He sighed to himself. He hated this, he hated what he had done to you two, he hated that he was the reason for your tears and he hated that he was feeling completely helpless at the moment, and that you were well within your right to end everything, and there would be nothing he could do.

Your hand grazes his shoulder and he has to do a double take to ensure that you were there. Right at his side like you always had been for the years you had been dating.

Your smiled was coupled with sadness and exhaustion, and he couldn’t hold back the sound of surprise that left him as you wrapped your arms around him and let yourself press your weight into him.

He let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding and allowed his arms to finally reach for you, the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into his lap and he held your head close to his chest, you could hear his heart pounding and could feel his entire body tremble. He kissed the top of your head and let his head rest on top of yours. When he realized how instinctively he was acting, he froze.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to act so suddenly I-“

You shushed the man and ran your stroked his arm soothingly in an attempt to calm him.

“I understand.”

Quiet filled the bedroom and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel oppressive, or hot with anger. It felt comfortable as it always should have.

Ushijima was the first to break the silence. “We’ll be okay y/n, right?”

The question was almost childish, naive, and ignorant of how many more questions would be raised answering it.

But it was purely Ushijima. Something that only Ushijima would ask in a time like this, he knew about the complexities, knew it would be hard to answer, but he asks anyways.

You ponder for a moment, knowing that no matter how you answered, there was still always the chance that everything could still turn out very differently that whatever you two could imagine.

“We’ll have to work towards it Toshi, and it might be a slow process, but from the bottom of my heart. I believe in us.”

Strong arms hug you tighter, filling you with that familiar warmth

“Thank you.”

Kintsugi is the art of repairing what was once broken by adding something precious to the mix. When used as a philosophy it encourages the acceptance of fragility, coming back from hardship stronger than before, and being proud of something imperfect.

Something that is repaired using this method will never look the same, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it still holds a unique beauty to it and will continue to function, as long as it is done properly and handled with care.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fanfiction #ushijima #ushijima x you #ushijima imagine #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader

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mylittlesecrethaven · 24 days

Text

How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 2

OH MY GOODNESS IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!

Anyway, let's do this.

I'm finishing this up.

Even though nobody asked me to.

Vice housewarden time. (Also, I know some of the dorms don't have vice housewardens, but you know what I mean by these characters. Please don't comment or message or whatever and be like "Um, actually--" Cause I know. Don't worry. :3 Thanks tho)

Trey:

Ngl, perfect boyfriend material. I can't really see anything that would go bad unless you're just super stubborn about your teeth brushing habits. I think that's the only deal breaker for him.

MC: But I don't wanna brush my teeth now! I'm going to bed.

Trey: Do you know what can happen to your teeth by skipping even one brushing session?

MC: Don't know, don't care.

All in all, the only way this wouldn't work out is if you are the asshole.

Ruggie:

Pfft- You fucking wish. I mean, if you get close enough, maybe. But this boi would probably rather trick you and snatch your shit than try to date you. Of course, even if you did get close, he'd tease you to no end. (But if y'all were dating, I'd say he'd be a pretty ok boyfriend)

MC: Um... where's my wallet?

Ruggie: Oh, I used it to buy food.

MC: Oh, how much food?

Ruggie: As much as I could get with whatever was in there.

MC: ...

Ruggie: And then I sold the wallet for some quick cash.

MC: ....my wallet....

Yeah, you could never keep anything valuable.

Jade:

Unless you're into sadism, you'd fucking die. Also, if you hate mushrooms, good fucking luck. And if you piss him off? You're family would never find you again. I swear, being with this guy would always have you on edge.

MC: Um... Jade? I may have.... sorta.... kinda.... destroyed one of your terrariums... On accident though!

Jade: *silent stare*

MC: ....Jade?....

Jade: *creepy smile thing he does*

(And then MC either goes missing, gets left up on a mountain, or has to work all of Jade's shifts at Monstro Lounge for a month while also helping maintain all of his garden shit)

So yeah. Unless you're ok with constantly being watched for weakness or blackmail, I'd say don't date this psycho.

Jamil:

I mean.... maybe? He's super weird about trust, so even getting close to him would be hard. If y'all are close, I'd say it'd be ok. He probably wouldn't have as much time for you as you'd like since he has to deal with Kalim all the time. Otherwise, I'd say he's ok.

MC: Can we go on that date tomorrow?

Jamil: No. Kalim is hosting another party.

MC: Again? He just had one yesterday, and I've been trying to get us to go on a date for weeks.

Jamil: Can't. Sorry.

Kalim would honestly be your biggest problem while actually dating Jamil. I'd say he'd be almost as good as Trey, otherwise.

Rook:

Another maybe. Sorta like how Jamil has to deal with Kalim, Rook is obsessed with Vil, so you'd kinda have to fight for attention. Honestly, you'd have to fight for his attention with everything. If you're a dull person, you stand no chance in pulling his eyes and actually dating him. However, unlike Jamil who has pretty much no choice in having to deal with Kalim, you'd have to live with the fact that Rook actually chooses other stuff over you.

MC: I made this cool art piece!

Rook: And it is beautiful! *goes back to watching Vil*

MC: That's.... that's it?

Rook: *still watching Vil* It is an amazing work of art! *pause* Oooo! Vil looks stunning today!

I feel like you'd have to have really high self-esteem to deal with being showed up by other stuff. It'd honestly really suck.

Ortho:

Lilia:

Honestly? Probably an ok boyfriend. As long as you're also a prankster, at least. If you're too dull or very lowkey, he'd probably gloss right over you. But if you're bubbly and hyperactive like him? Then yes. It'd also work if you're lowkey, but spook easily. I'd say he's alright.

Lilia: *appears behind MC* Hello!

MC: *nearly jumps out of their skin*

Lilia: *laughing*

MC: Not funny!

Not as good as Trey, but I think he'd be fine otherwise. The only big issue would be secrets, so if you aren't ok with your partner keeping a few private details to themselves, Lilia probably wouldn't like you as much. (Or maybe he'd like you more cause he'd get to tease you with it, but you might not like it yourself)

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unreversedumbrella · 6 months

Text

found these on pinterest and ngl i spent a good minute trying to understand if my idea of mob's character had become that separate from the source material. they look official so i searched for the final art and...

yep. much more mob-like. couldn't find the last one even though im p sure i've seen if before

#mob looks like a creep in here #arched back #goggling tsubomi #mp100 #mp100 official art #shigeo kageyama #tsubomi takane #tome kurata #mezato ichi

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the-slasher-madame · 2 years

Note

So I’m sneaking my phone out rn because dear lord my dysphoria is so bad. I was wonder if you could do the Sinclair brother, Thomas and RZ Michael helping a ftm s/o dealing with dysphoria? Thank you so much

I am so so sorry :(

I'm genderfluid, but I don't feel a whole lot of dysphoria, but what I have felt was horrible. And most of my friends experience it and it hurts watching them hurt. I'm sorry dear heart, I'll do my best to have a present for you <33333

TW/Notes: gender dysphoria, trans masc/trans man reader, mentions of violence (it's slashers, what do y'all expect?), cursing (but I think y'all are used to that by now lol), probably OOC but again, that's just how I roll here, let me know if I missed anything!!

Bo Sinclair:

Poor thing will take a while to understand

While I am 10000% in the camp that headcannon him as bi or pan, and I think Vinny is some shade of not-cis, Bo is still new here. And a little outdated

HOWEVER, he will defend your honor like a rabid dog. He'll hear someone misgender you and will kill them, brutally, slowly, and will not allow them to be waxified. He gets so pissed at himself when he messes up on your pronouns

Along with all that, I think he would be a little confused and not understand dysphoria. He's like "you said yer a boy, whyoncha feel like it?"

If that's the final straw and you start crying, his entire thought process is 'shit shit shit shitshitshIT'

He hates when you cry and he wants to put himself in the Wax Chair when he makes you cry

I love the idea of this man comforting me while I cry and shushing me

ANYWAYS

Once you explain that your brain is a little bitch as well as the fact that your body just feels wrong sometimes, he understands a bit better; he understands very well what it's like to feel that your body is wrong

He tries so hard to help you on days that it gets unbearable. He makes sure that if you bind, it's safely and whatever you bind with is clean. He steals every piece of masc clothing from the victims (even if it's definitely not the right size). He helps you keep your hair styled how you want (bringing in Vincent to help).

Bo would also help with when you needed to shower but didn't want to look at yourself. A couple of candles and himself, of course, to try to solve the issues

He's also there for all the hardest times, when you just wanted to cry. He always had reassurances ready for you, and never failed to remind you that you were his man

Vincent Sinclair:

I think he understands the most

I am firmly of the belief he goes by he/they, and I won't take criticism

Or is a gender non-conforming man, or non-binary, or demiboy

I think y’all get what I’m saying, he’s a masculine entity but they aren’t a man

He’s the best for helping you feel comfortable

He is the King of soft, god I fucking love them

anyways

He might mess up once or twice, but he’s like really good at getting your pronouns right. Sometimes it feels like they’re more accurate than you

If you don’t want to see feminine clothing? He will actually burn any feminine clothing in the house

While I absolutely agree that they’re co-dependent on Bo, Vincent will not hesitate to lose they’re shit on either brother for misgendering you or being rude. This man would eat straight wax for you ngl

ALWAYS READY TO LISTEN!! If he smells the most tiny bit of sadness or bad feelings, he has a cup of tea (or your favorite drink) prepped and a spot in his lap that hey, wouldn’t ya know, is you sized

They will do anything in his power to learn to make you binders. And he will not let you wear it for too long. Like exactly 8 hours later they materialize at your shoulder and politely ask you to take it off

They could and will spend days showering you in affirmations and validations. You are his man, their handsome boyfriend, and he loves telling you as much

His art of you is always perfect, always shows how you feel, and he tries so hard to show you how he feels and how he sees you in his art. However, they’re also understanding if it’s not helpful when you feel super dysphoric

Another one that’s more than happy to shut off the lights and shower you. They won’t let you lift a finger, pampering your body with all possible bath products in the house

I think they’d both sew you clothing and let you pick out anything you want from the victims. Would also threaten his brothers to buy you things in town

Did I mention they get exceptionally brutal with people who misgender you?? Like I love the idea he get’s very brutal and cruel in his art, but dear sweet jesus on a breadstick anyone who hurts you, physically or emotionally, will be kept alive for weeks and will die horrifically

Loves styling your hair <3, cause he definitely has to cut and shape the hair of finished tourists

Lester Sinclair:

I love this himbo, like I don’t care what anyone says he’s sweeter than sugar

Also like the idea of him having a dark side

Ok moving on to the, you know, request

Y’all remember how in Steven Universe, Blue said “she prefers to be called Steven”? That’s the vibe I get from him. He’s confused, but he’s got the spirit

ofc he makes mistakes, but he tries so so hard and feels so so bad when he messes up

It hurts him seeing you have to feel this way, definitely the boyfriend who cries when you cry

Firmly believes in the healing power of cuddles. Somehow cuddles you extra hard when you feel really dysphoric

I think I might’ve seen this somewhere else, but he when you’re with him and he’s picking up tourists, he will stop the car if someone misgenders you. Full stop, brake petal to the floor, full body turn towards whoever just spoke, and pulls out the Southern Politeness. The politeness that us southerners use when we want to kill someone

“Well, ma’am, if you’d like to keep ridin in my truck you best apologize to the young man who accompanies me.” He’s used to people being bitchy to him, but will not tolerate it directed towards you. I fully believe he has put people out of the truck, driven to Bo, and told him there were some target practice out about a mile or two away. Will refuse to let the twins waxify the rude tourists

Listens to you and tries his best to validate you, even if he doesn’t completely understand. Will do anything to make you feel better

Always always always buys you masculine clothing, even splurging on you (even if you insist he needs some clothes, he’ll just say, “naw, darlin’, I’m jus fine.”

NO HE’D LOVE TO SHARE CLOTHES WITH YOU IF HE COULD!!!!

I’m a slut for close intimacy that isn’t necessarily sexual, so he’d be more than happy to shower with you in the dark or make you the BIGGEST bubble bath possible

NOOO HE’D SIT JONESY DOWN AND EXPLAIN THAT “Y/N’s a boy, alright Jonesy? He’s one of the boys and we gotta treat him as such”

Does worry about when you bind, he’s read up on it and he worries about you getting hurt, but either way he will send you friendly reminders when it’s been 8 hours and very carefully washes what you bind with

Thomas Hewitt:

The Hewitt family is one of the few Christian families that live in Texas I would love to be around (I’m sorry, I have a thing against Texas and I’m suspicious of most Christians concerning my status as a queer person with a uterus in America)

Ok yea, it takes the whole family a little while to get used to everything, but Thomas and Luda are accepting and try to understand. They will also criminally assault Hoyt if he is dick

If Hoyt misgenders you, and if he does it on purpose, he better pray. Thomas will turn on his Extra Scary Mode and Luda will pull out a cast iron skillet she has set aside specifically for dealing with Hoyt

Thomas might make mistakes, but at the same time he doesn’t talk so I think that would affect how often he accidentally uses the wrong pronouns

Also, how much interaction does he have with gender and social norms?? I could see him not understanding why people think it’s a bad thing

Someone is a transphobic wad of dick cheese? Won’t eat that person, straight up won’t. Hell, he might not leave enough to eat

He keeps an eye on you and your binding, but I don’t think he’d be like Vincent and come forth from the shadows to remind you it’s been eight hours (at first at least). But he would try to find patterns to make you binders and makes sure they’re washed properly

He is a master seamster. Sews you clothes that are masculine and that fit and flatter you perfectly. You swear he uses magic when sewing you clothes because how can they possibly be this fitting and help you look so much more masculine??

Will do anything you need to feel better, from cuddles to clothes to tea. Would try to find advice from Luda on how to help you, and she’d tell him what kind of stuff usually helps people feel better, but she doesn’t know exactly what to do either

Would treat you in baths and showers, doing his best to distract you from how you feel with your body

He may not understand completely, but whew boy does he know what it’s like to have body issues. He understands that much, at least, and he aches that you feel similarly to the way he has his whole life

He doesn’t speak often, or like at all, but he’d give you a few words of validation and reassurance that he knows you’re a man, and that he sees you as a masculine individual, and that he loves you no matter what

Feels comfortable enough now to explore his gender

RZ! Michael Myers:

While this man is by no means a child, I don’t think he has a full grasp of gender (at least the way other people think he should)

Like come on y’all, he was locked up as a six year old child and didn’t get the whole experience of ya know,,, being raised (I will forever quote the person who said that Loomis’ degree was written in crayon, cause they were right)

So anyways I don’t think he really understands gender as like the rigid structure so many people think of it as. Like I know for me gender is just kinda weird. Like some sea animal with no shape, or mystery meat that shivers when you poke it

And thus he doesn’t understand transphobia at all. Like bro how does a person telling you their gender affect your life that much??

And along those lines, he may not fully understand dysphoria. His thinking is “you know you are boy, you have told me (the most important person in your life) that you are boy, so therefore you are boy”

THAT BEING SAID MY RZ MIKEY IS SOMFT AND TRYING HIS GODDAMNED BEST ALRIGHT?!!!?!??! He uses his lil 6th sense for gauging emotions to keep an eye on you and is by your side the second he detects a change

Bless his heart he’s a cat. Stares at you, will try bringing you things, and just shows up when you cry. He could be on the other side of the city, but he knows when you cry and will hightail it home

You have to warm him up to cuddles, but once you do his is always always ready

He kind of assumes you know how best to handle binding, but he will still keep an eye out and start to nudge you if you’ve had it on too long

This man doesn’t clean, he’s no help cleaning your binder, BUT he will bring you masculine clothing from a victims house...you just may need to use some lemon juice or hydrogen peroxide on it because I don’t think it was originally that shade of red

I think he’s more a bath person, and would love to try and return the kindness you show him by giving you a bath when you feel dysphoric. Might add too many bubbles, but he figures the more bubbles = the easier to hide under

Back to transphobia: he either kills them especially brutally, or really quickly because they don’t deserve the time of day. It depends on how badly they pissed him off. If someone misgenders you on purpose, you will see their face on the news the same day Mikey comes back with his coveralls soaked and pieces of flesh spattered onto his figure

He’s the kind of guy that you have to show him what to do at first to be helpful and validating, but after that he’s good to go. Give him a break he was never properly socialized as a child :(

Also understands the body issues (very few slashers don’t if I’m being honest) and will try to show you what helps him: making masks. He can be persuaded to extend that to making art

Another one that’s a masculine entity but not entirely a man in the traditional sense. He too thinks gender is a shivering mystery meat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright that’s what I’ve got!!! Again I’m so sorry Ziggy :((( I hope you feel better, and if it helps any you’re definitely one of my slasher tumblr crushes <333333

I will also brutally murder anyone who misgenders you, just hit me up and I’ll grab my bat

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honey-minded-hivemind · 4 months

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I rlly think logan would be cool as a nightwing too ngl, but a hivewing its actually a good idea

Yeah, he would be! Your art IS AWESOME! Someone gets it! The urge to have these characters as dragons! But seriously, he makes good dad material, and him as any dragon is a treat!

I bet he would likely adopt the other X-Men dragonets the moment he sees them. Free kid, unattended, and in need of a strong paternal guardian? Yeah, they're his kid now.

As for him as a HiveWing, I chose that for him because I thought it fit him pretty well, color-scheme and power wise.

Scenario:

NightWing!Logan, staring down at NightWing!Egg!Reader: Gonna hatch any time soon, kid? Heh, you're tiny, aren't you?😌

NightWing!Egg!Reader: rocks a little bit, forming a small crack🥚

NightWing!Logan: 👀 Did... did I just break you? looks over Reader's egg nervously 😰

NightWing!Egg!Reader: hatches

NightWing!Logan: 😶

NightWing!Baby!Reader: looks up at Logan happily ☺💕

NightWing!Logan: I think I'm in love... 🥰💘😍

NightWing!Baby!Reader: sneezes cutely

NightWing!Logan: Aaaaand back inside we go picks Reader up and stalks back into their cave

(If you have any other questions or ideas or comments, feel free to ask away!)

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere #platonic yandere xmen #platonic yandere marvel x reader #🐉wings of fire au #platonic yandere wolverine

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savage-rhi · 10 months

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Reverse Uno: now you do Karl and Ardyn >:3

I'VE WAITED ALL DAY TO COME HOME FROM A 10 HR SHIFT TO DO THIS SO DON'T MIND IF I FUCKING DO @seradyn

Karl Heisenberg

First impression: I thought he was going to play a significant role in RE8, perhaps even fall into the trope where he's truly the Big Bad (TM) versus Mother Miranda. I think I got that impression because Karl always came across as smarter than he lets on. Either way, I knew I was gonna fucking love this dude. Does he look like trash? Yep. Does he hold a grudge? Yep. Sign me up!

Impression now: CAPCOM YOU FUCKED UP. WHY DIDN'T YOU UTILIZE THIS GUY FURTHER IN THE DAMN PLOT?! WHY DIDN'T HE AND ETHAN PARTNER UP?!

That's seriously my biggest gripe when it comes to Karl, he's a great character that didn't get used to his full potential. I mean, sure that gives fanfic writers such as myself a lot to play with and makeup, but he deserved better. Karl's character was fucking fun. I could tell his motion capture and VO artist had a great time playing hobo metal man (Neil Newbon you sold it, mother fucker).

Seriously, Karl is hot trash but he's my hot trash. I'll defend him all the way.

Favorite Moment: In every scene Karl is in, he just steals the damn show. I always enjoy the scene where he confronts Ethan with partnering up (Ethan, you should've taken the hobo's hand) and goes on a verbal rampage about the other lords and how much he despises Miranda. You can feel his passion and hate for what's become of his life, and even sense how desperate he is to get out of it by any means necessary.

Idea for a story: I've been working on a story with Karl called The Sacrifice that takes place years before the events of RE8. Karl falls in love with a gal named Sonja Ainsley, and this pushes him to wanting to break free from the village and Miranda's clutches.

The story is on hiatus, but I intend to finish it when I get the motivation again. I love him and Sonja very much.

Unpopular Opinion: For all his bravado, Karl is sensitive and cautious deep down. I’ve read many stories where is unyielding and very sexual (ngl I indulge in that cause I’m nasty like everyone else on here lol) but given the abuses he has endured, I think he would be quite reluctant to indulge himself with someone until several layers were peeled back and his partner gained his trust.

Favorite Relationship: I ship Karl with happiness. I don’t care if it’s an OC, Reader, Canon, etc. etc. etc. I just want this fucking hob goblin to feel like he’s on top of the world and has support. I love reading material where he gets to just fucking live and be happy.

Favorite headcanon: Karl is quite good at making jewelry pieces.

Karl is artistically inclined and enjoys sketching, and doodling. He keeps most of his pieces to himself since he considers having a hobby like that could lead him to being taken advantage of (he’s kind of a victim of toxic masculinity there in that regard, where “men can’t like things like the arts without being seen as less than”).

Karl struggled with reading well into his early 20s, but he taught himself and is quite fond of novels (Sonja helps him there in The Sacrifice, and he likes Pride and Predjudice).

Moreau and he watch TV together, and they get invested and I do mean invested to the point where they both yell and scream at the characters on TV for fucking up.

Ardyn Izunia/Lucis Caelum

First Impression: I want to preface by saying that my late grandmother bestowed upon me the knowledge to protect myself from peculiar people. She told me to never trust a man who has shaved off his eyebrows and never trust a man that wears a tunic. All her wisdom couldn’t prepare me for what the fuck to do about a man who wears over 5 layers of clothing, and looks like a homeless guy who walked into a thrift shop and picked out every item that screamed, “Hi there, I’m Johnny Depp.” I’m frightened, but I gotta follow my principles: does he look like trash? Check. Does he hold a grudge? Check. Okay everyone…let’s pray….

Impression now: Your honor, I love him. I love his quirkiness. I love his humor. I love his mannerisms. I love his darkness. I love his imperfections. I love his humanity and lack thereof. I love his daemon form. I love his charisma. I love how he carries himself. I love his ambition. I love how unsettling he can be. I love his wild hair. I love his piercing eyes. I love how he used to love and care for others. I love how he tried to hold onto himself despite failing. I love how he’s unapologetic. I love his faults. I love his flaws. I love that I see bits of myself in him. I love his bloodlust. I love his taunts. I love his sarcasm. I love how tragic his story is. I love how unyielding he can be. I love him. Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar.

Favorite Moment: Pretty much everything he is in. However I adore his entire appearance in the Lestallum chapter. You can tell he’s clearly up to shit, but can’t necessarily prove it. Hell, I even felt bad for judging him after he goes through the trouble of saving everyone’s ass in a later part of that section. I even had a moment of second guessing.

Idea for a story: I already wrote an Ardyn x OC (Caelan) story called Immortal Shield. I wanted to give Ardyn a happier ending, and explore his character if he were resurrected years after the final battle with Noctis (went with the Dawn of the Future ending). I think it turned out okay.

Cause I am not over him by any means, I’m working on a Ardyn x Reader story. It takes place two years before the events of the game. I’m 10 chapters in thus far.

Unpopular Opinion: Ardyn is one of the best FF villains in the franchise. I’ve seen people complain about him being lackluster as a character (from his quirks/backstory, to the final battle cause he didn’t have a ‘final form’). Then there’s the camp that sees the adoration fans have for him and go, “tragic guy does tragic and terrible things and people make excuses for him”. I mean…yeah, to a degree? But what makes me still stand by my statement is the fact that unlike most FF villains: the guy actually fucking wins. We are talking about a man who spent YEARS and I mean fucking YEARS plotting, wearing various masks, and lining up pieces to ensure he would FINALLY get to rest in peace after all the shit he had been forced to endure. That is dedication and shows how he’s so damn dangerous and intelligent. A man that can bide his time for thousands of years isn’t someone to fuck around with.

Favorite Relationship: Ardyn x Aera. Those two deserved happiness and peace. I also ship him with OCs, other canon characters, and readers/inserts. I love stories where no matter who it’s with, he is appreciated and cherished.

Favorite headcanon: Ardyn’s love language is gift-giving. If he sees something that reminds him of someone, he’ll get it for them or even try his hand at making the thing himself if he wants to go the extra mile. Getting a gift from him says A LOT, and the people around him know it’s kind of a big fucking deal.

Being a former healer, he’s very much in tune with people’s emotions that it’s almost like a 6th sense. Even being corrupted by the star scourge, he can never truly tune that part of himself out. He uses this natural gift to manipulate others to get ahead.

Since sweets like chocolate and other delicacies were rare and quite expensive 2,000 years ago, Ardyn takes full advantage of modern decadence. The man’s got candy everywhere.

#karl heisenberg #re8 karl heisenberg #resident evil village #ardyn izunia #ffxv ardyn #ardyn lucis caelum #final fantasy xv #my opinions and thoughts #characters #i love them both very much #and i have horrible taste in men i am well aware #but i don't mind nor give two fucks and a pine cone #thank you for sending this to me hon

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otakween · 7 months

Text

Cyborg 009 BGOOParts Delete (2020) - Volume 3

This manga is clearly meant to be binged and not read extremely slowly like I've been doing, so I'll try to read more at a time to do things properly. I'm still really frustrated that this is such a rehash of tired material. It might be acceptable if this was a reboot, but it's supposed to be more like a sequel/continuation so...

Ch. 15

The monologuing continues! Apollon and Joe talk about their respective squads, what makes them similar and different. Joe emphasizes the fact that the numbers cyborgs resent being made and plan to eradicate all of Black Ghost's cyborgs from the face of the Earth.

Helena asks Francoise to help her stop the fighting, but Francoise says that she can't because she doesn't want to abort the mission. Helena knocks Francoise out and turns into her dark, Artemis form, complete with creepy looking wings jutting out of her cyborg spine. They drew her all sensual this chapter which made me kinda uncomfortable lol.

007, 002, and 006 fight the lesser Mythos cyborgs in the background. They're not given much to do and it's hard to care about their part of the story.

Ch. 16

This chapter was straight up incomprehensible for me. Not only do they shout out some new attack name every two seconds, but half of them aren't even in Japanese or English. Also, a lot of the characters use old timey Japanese. At this point I'm just hear to admire the art.

Artemis' body is now the Dolphin apparently. What is this Arpeggio of Blue Steel??

At least 005 and 008 got some screentime this chapter. Every time 008 does stuff outside of the water I'm like "he's just a dude" lol. The Aquaman conundrum...

Ch. 17

Geronimo's battle wraps up with the Minotaur dude. DAMN that guy was annoying. I think he said "The Dark Labyrinth" about 50 million times. I was so pissed off having to read it over and over lol. Like...shut up already (thankfully, he did).

I really love how Pyunma has been drawn by this artist. He's come a long way. He acknowledged how limited he is outside of the water in this chapter, which I appreciated. Chang comes to his aid.

Ch. 18

Apollon monologues himself to death lol. The dialogue is sooo bad in this manga. They keep repeating the same phrases ad nauseum and it feels cheesy for them to be ranting so much during a battle. Just have them fight in silence and monologue after or something.

In addition to the dialogue being cringey, the action isn't really good either. The Mythos cyborgs keep dying and I keep thinking "wait...how'd they die??" It's not drawn clearly at all. Apollon gets shot up and then set on fire somehow, but they didn't draw Joe doing any of that so I'm like ???

Ch. 19

Okay, Hippo Man making 007 melt was pretty disturbing body horror, I gotta say. 004 then easily takes him out in a pretty boring battle. Hippo man went on and on about his "true name" and they made "kaba/baka" puns. Hey Cyborg 009, aren't comic relief characters supposed to be...funny?

Artemis is pissed at Joe for killing Apollon, but what did she think was gonna happen? This is such a blah retread.

Ch. 20

Lion dude turns into Heracles (which looks like a guy wearing a lion fur and wielding clubs). The cyborgs all gather for their final battle (aside from Artemis probably)

Who was the hairy dude in the beginning? I'm sure I'm just supposed to know who is his but I forgot lol. It's so hard to follow this manga when no one's documented it on the 009 wiki yet boohoo

Joe looked pretty badass showing up at the end there ngl (plus the shippers probably like to see him carrying 002 like that)

Ch. 21

Okay, this last bit was interesting (finally). They talked about how the numbers cyborgs have already defeated Black Ghost and are now just cleaning up their ooparts. Heracles disagrees and says that the Mythos cyborgs ARE Black Ghost because they're following through on their mission.

I had to remind myself what ooparts are. It stands for "Out of Place" parts. It's supposedly an American term, but I've never heard of it. It's related to cryptozoology and refers to anachronistic artifacts. I guess the Mythos cyborgs kinda fit that, but instead of being new stuff in olden times, they're old stuff in modern times? IDK. I wonder if OOParts is a well known concept in Japan or just this mangaka's hobby?

GDI Helen showing up at the last second to resurrect everyone is cheating >:/ now this arc will never end!

I like learning random stuff from manga. Heracles kept bringing up the Nemean lion so I looked it up and basically it's a lion whose fur was impervious to weapons. Never heard of that myth before! With the added context I appreciated Heracles' design more.

The mangaka's fanart sketches at the end were really charming, I liked their little self portrait too (they didn't need to draw 008's OG design though -cringe-)

#cyborg 009 bgooparts delete #cyborg 009 #manga

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damienthepious · 1 year

Note

Can you reccomend your fave smutty rad bouquet fics? Either your own or other peoples. Looking for new reading material.

OKAY forgive me please for taking literally weeks to actually get to this. the entirety of my March was spent slowly and then very quickly moving to a new house, and it has been CHAOS over here.

MORE IMPORTANTLY! Happy Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, let me recommend some SMUT.

(tho honestly you'd do just as well checking my bookmarks on ao3 because... for some bizarre reason the smutty stuff is the ONLY thing i ever think to bookmark? I don't get it.)

HERE we go. These aren't really in an order but i'm starting with my three all-time faves and then moving to some sturdy solid mainstays:

Sir Arum and the Green Knight [ao3] (27k words) - I mean it's a green knight au AND a monster-human swap au AND it's full of fucking feelings and ALSO it's joyously smutty and ALSO- look!!! i keep this fic open in a tab on my phone at all times. I truly love the way this one is written. it was the first fic i EVER bookmarked. i would call it plot with porn rather than the alternative but the sexy chapter is VERY sexy.

Here's Eglantine, Here's Ivy [ao3] (5k) - PWP Of All Time for me. ALL TIME. Pure and beautiful kink, Arum playing dom and slowly and perfectly ruining his humans with magic vines. i am ruined also by this fic. good lord.

The Honey of Our Lit Up Veins [ao3] (5k) - also magic sex vines! don't perceive my vibes from this. I love Damien in this one honestly, he's so very sweet and his inner emotional path throughout the fic is so deeply enjoyable and relatable.

.💖.

A Shift in Leverage [ao3] (9k) - Rilla in armor. Rilla in armor getting fucked by an extremely enthusiastic Arum. Rilla in armor getting to fuck an extremely enthusiastic Arum. It's all incredibly enormously sexy and lovely and warm and i fucking adore it.

in my world (constantly, constantly) [ao3] (6k) - Very soft and sweet and gentle, i love to see damien get taken care of in ALL capacities 🥺🥰

easy like [ao3] (4k) - I associate this one with like... slow lazy summer warmth. honey gold. it's a soft happy place for me. and also it's fucking sexy.

Snapdragon [ao3] (8k) - includes the tag "T4T4L (trans 4 trans 4 lizard)" so like. yesssssss. Rilla breaking the other two is extremely my jam. Hell yeah.

should've worshipped her sooner [ao3] (4.5k) - I mean you start with a hozier inspired title and then the fic is about damien getting pegged, so. All good all around. fucking LOVE it.

selfish prayers [ao3] (4k) - ... another magic tentacle one. there was a THING going on for a while, it's honestly not my fault. This one is shockingly funny? Arum in particular is so fucking charming, but it's also VERY sexy.

I smelled no salt, I touched no sand [ao3] (3k) - okay this one is probably the most nonstandard pull on here because it's sir damien/saint damien and maybe that's not what you'd expect but . it's written by the same person who wrote the green knight au and it's honestly VERY compelling! i love it very much ngl.

Also this isn't a fic BUT honorable mention to:

lilf rights! [ao3] (art!) - Genuinely and truly the best and most joyous smutty bouquet art in the world. One of the pieces overtly inspired a chapter of hb3! go. enjoy. ENJOY.

...

and okay sure my own smut is here

#fic list #asks #aspiring tiny firework #lizard kissin' tuesday

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trashlie · 1 year

Text

ILY FP 206

Oh my god oh my GOD what an episode, right?! It’s going to take everything in me to not spoil this outside of my read more text cut lol but MAN what an episode. I think this might go up in my top 10 favorite episodes, if I were to create one of those, if only for the good material we got and the art. WOW! I feel like quimchee is personally catering to me and everything that I covet lmao we’ve got CALLBACKS we’ve got further parallels we’ve got explanations of the past, we’ve got TENSION! I, for one, feel like a cat who discovered the bag of catnip, and I’m going to yell SO MUCH in this post!

Man, the lighting and expressions in this particular episode are so good - the flashback was largely simplistic in its work, simple backgrounds, simple expressions, things mostly expressed through use of color. But we’ve returned to the present where Nol is holding back nothing - he is comfortably Nolan in his skin, no loner putting on a front or hiding his darker, potentially scarier side. When he found the Math Club photo in the previous episode, we didn’t see his eyes, which alone gave some indication to his feelings about his discovery, but that expression we finally get to see as he looks at the photo and talks to Shinae - WOW. In the past, as Yeonggi, he would never have allowed himself to show that side of him and was always so careful about the image he presented.

Nol is holding nothing back, now. With Shinae, he’s showing an authentic version of who he really is.

The way the shadows fall on his face makes him look almost haunted.

There’s so many good details in the art of this episode, ngl. The sequence of Shinae’s memory being jogged and snippets of that meeting flooding back to her, culminating in that close up of her eye, that red pupil with the scratchy jagged lines around it. A+ art, the shock of both the return of those memories and the realization that Nol has pieced together what she tried so hard to keep from him, something she did not want to b the one to tell him about, aaahhhh!

Something interesting about this is that despite how things ended between Shinae and Alyssa, in a way, Shinae is trying to protect her (just as much as she’s trying to protect Nol). It wouldn’t be difficult for her to just admit the truth upfront - that yes, it turns out the ex-friend who kind of ruined my life is, indeed, your girlfriend. There’s something almost sweet about it - Shinae has been very careful to not influence Nol’s relationship, to not be that kind of person. Even before she ever knew who he was dating, she drew clearly-defined boundaries in effort to ensure that her involvement couldn’t lead to a falling out with his girlfriend. And here she continues to do that. She doesn’t want to influence how he sees Alyssa, she doesn’t want to be the reason they might fall apart. But at the same time, she is protecting not only Nol, but also herself and Alyssa. Shinae never says “Alyssa isn’t like that anymore” or anything like that. Her entire point of reason is that she knows her memory isn’t reliable, and that she doesn’t know the full story. It’s awfully mature, tbh, to be able to acknowledge that her experience is not the sum of that whole affair, that Alyssa’s side of the story is something she lacks and never had a chance to know. In contrast to her current situation with Nol, where he has inadvertently come clean and she now understands why he left, Shinae still has no idea why things with Alyssa played out the way they did, only the vague assumption of what Alyssa wanted vs how she acted.

To be honest, I think as much as Shinae wants to protect Nol and Alyssa’s relationship, she also wants to protect her memories and the handful of good she experienced with Alyssa. Though things ended badly and she internalized that hurt and repressed it for so long, that was Shinae’s first friend, someone she was so eager and excited about. When we’ve been hurt or betrayed, it’s easy for those good memories to become soiled, to become infected by our bitter resentment. You forget that there was ever any good, because all you can remember is the bad, and how it makes you feel.

I think we see that with Nol. The way he reminisces on Alyssa almost suggests that they were never very close, that his relationship with Alyssa never compared to his relationship with, say, Dieter or Soushi. Again, this episode plays with expression and framing SO MUCH and it’s SO well done. “She’s not important to me. So don’t feel bad.” We don’t see Nol’s expression when he says this. In fact, we only see a close up of his face, eyes hidden, as he asks Shinae to be honest. Quimchee uses the hidden eyes a lot, especially with Nol lately. I think it’s less that Alyssa was never important to Nol as much as she no longer is. Once upon a time, she was a friend he tried to steer straight, to save from Yui’s villainous grip. Again, we see that down-up view of Nol, his face cast in shadows, eyes cold as he states that he hates Alyssa’s nature. In a way, Alyssa is a failure of Nol’s - at least, this is probably how he views it. There was nothing he could do to keep her out of Yui’s grip, to save her from that woman. In fact, Alyssa continued to willingly walk into the lion’s den.

We have that contrast again of Alyssa and Shinae - how Alyssa was unable to see beyond Yui’s facade, or even worse, how she was willing to endure Yui to get what she wanted. It makes her look selfish and spineless, wishywashy. Nol resents that, in the end, Alyssa made her choices, and in the end, all that remains of their former friendship, of the relationship they had, is one that is transactional. Don’t get me wrong, I think Nol does care about her still, in a way. I think there’s a high likelihood that Alyssa also still cares about Nol and Shinae both, but in a way she can’t act on, that she has to repress and shove away. I don’t think she feels particularly good about what she does, which is why she deflects. It’s easier to place blame on others than acknowledge that you are the one actively hurting people you care about, right?

In a way, Shinae and Nol both care about Alyssa to some capacity, and largely in a way that is rooted in the past - who she was, what their relationships were. That’s the thing, right? You don’t have that kind of bitter, festering resentment towards someone if you never cared about them, if some kind of affection (whether romantic or platonic) never existed. There was a time when Alyssa was a person Nol wanted to help, maybe even when she was a person he enjoyed talking to and hangout with along with Soushi and Dieter, but those days are long gone.

On the balcony at the hospital, he asked Alyssa what if they start to resent each other, because he already did. Because the weight of their transactional relationship had become that much of a burden, because there was nothing he could do to help her anymore and she felt more like a leech than a balance, because she had become the very kind of person who he resented. Swept up in the world of the Hiraharas and networking, Nol had become as invisible to Alyssa as he was to anyone else. Whatever remained of their friendship had run its course.

Where Nol has allowed his memories to fester - the way his memory shows the gap between him and Alyssa increasing as he turns away from her and eventually has his hood up, back to her, the use of that intense red, Alyssa’s hollow puppet eyes, Yui a marionette puppeteering Alyssa, so menacing - Shinae has tried in vain to protect it, to reassure herself that there must be more to the story or maybe she’s made it all up, that maybe Alyssa was not as horrible as she looks. Both of them seem to acknowledge though, what praise does for Alyssa and the extents she’s willing to go to to earn it.

And again, that juxtaposition - Alyssa is so malleable, is (or at least was) so willing to do whatever if it earned her praise, where Shinae’s integrity refuses to accept undue praise or handouts. It’s not explicitly stated, but it’s easy to glean that this is likely a big reason Nol was so drawn to Shinae, who always expressed concern for him, who never saw him as invisible, who has made a point to demonstrate how much she cares about him. When tempted by Yui, Shinae fought back and sees through her shiny veneer. Of course it must be intriguing, that someone can push back against Yui and not be poisoned against him by her.

In fact, everything about this episode is SO heavily laden with how much their relationship matters. Shinae cares enough about Nol that she refuses to be the reason that his relationship with Alyssa is ruined. Nol cares about Shinae enough to start to feel comfortable as himself, doesn’t wear his mask, and offers her honesty, going as far as to call her out on her refusal to be honest. They’re taking turns baring parts of themselves to each other, sharing things they likely have never shared with anyone else. It can’t be that Nol is still drunk and his inhibitions are lower - he’s calculating looking over Shinae clutching the book to her chest, takes a step back and looks at her like that, admonishing her for lying when he’s being honest. They are actively acting on that importance to each other, the understanding that they have to be honest in order to understand each other.

Nol is so comfortable, in fact, that he even shares a tender little memory - just a little snippet of it - about his mom. He’s always been careful not to mention her to his friends, to not bring up anything about her. The day he crashes the study session at Dieter’s, Shinae asks him about his mom, meaning Yui, and without knowing what Shinae means he switches mood completely. But here, he shares just a little piece of the distant past, and Shinae, realizing that he must be talking about his mom, offers her hand.

And GOD I love this moment SO MUCH. The dance that never was at the formal, a deal made at the masquerade. Everything comes full circle in that moment. It’s Shinae to Nol’s rescue, it’s Shinae making an offer, it’s Shinae offering friendship needed. Throughout the series, Nol has reached out to Shinae so many times, never letting himself close the gap except the one time that he hurt her. Once upon a time, Shinae drew boundaries between them and here she’s the one crossing them. Knowing what she knows now of Nol’s life, of his family, of his mother, it’s a gesture I don’t think is made lightly. Could Nol be happy, if only for a moment, if she sings and dances around to Christmas music with him like they once did?

And god, listen, there’s a LOT of reading into this that we could do. The dance at the formal that never was - Nol denying a dance with Shinae to keep his distance, as Kousuke requested, as Nol surely had already decided upon. Maybe had Kousuke not demanded that Nol keep his distance, Nol still would have refused the dance (especially given that Shinae had previously drawn those boundaries around them), but what is to stop them now? There’s no Kousuke in the room to express disapproval. Shinae knows the relationship isn’t real, that it’s nothing that needs to be respected as she was before. Now it’s just them and the bits of their souls they’ve bared here alone in the dark.

And again, back to the way Nol has spent so much of this series reaching out to her and refusing to close the gap - that he even did it just last episode! For it to be Shinae, this time, who reaches out to him, who offers the hand he continues to deny himself, is just SO SO SOOOOOOOO good and satisfying! Shinae is taking the initiative that Nol won’t allow himself.

And listen man, I try, I try really hard not to be overly shippy about things but GOD the seeds have been sown, haven’t they? I have so many FEELINGS about how INTIMATE these last few episodes have been, the way their angry exteriors have thawed away and left these pockets of honesty. Shinae has been spending this time doing her best not to spook Nol - won’t ask about his mom lest he bolts again, careful about what she asks and says - and it just feels so intimate, to sit here in the dark together and bare their souls a little bit. Nol telling Shinae things he’s probably never told anyone else, just as Shinae told Nol a story she probably hasn’t told anyone else. I love the way they are just drawn to each other and let their defenses down. Nol has spent so much time trying to put distance between himself and Shinae, to escape her gravitational pull, but so many times he always wound up drawn back in. AND I LOVE IT, OKAY.

Do they realize the ways they play off each other? Shinae has started to see their parallels (and the way they foil each other there, too - Shinae has become aware of her internalized self-loathing in a way Nol has yet to) and has a tendency to always respond to him even without realizing it. Last episode we see her response to his proximity and honesty, confused about why her heart is reacting lol. There’s also her raw anger at Nol still putting that distance between them, pointedly calling her Yoo. What she hates is that he’s trying to create that buffer, because using her first name is too close. If he keeps calling her Yoo, he can pretend that they’re not as close as they really are, that she isn’t as important as he’s already proclaimed. Shinae doesn’t want the distance, she doesn’t want the buffer.

I also really love that she continues to call him out, and how her experiences with Alyssa have given the ability to see things how she does. In the way that her truth and Alyssa’s truth are not the same, Shinae notes that Nol’s truth and her truth are not the same - her image of him is not the way he sees himself, and neither one of them are more true than the others. In that regard, I think we will see that Nol isn’t as “innocent” in whatever it is he thinks he’s being punished for, but that he’s also not the one wholly responsible for it. Suppose this is about the incident with Kousuke, maybe Nol has internalized that he possibly hurt someone, without giving acknowledgement to what could lead to it. Was it self-defense, was it him reaching a snapping point, was it instigated, did something push him and his buttons? Nothing in I Love Yoo is black or white, only shades of grey.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I can’t help but feel that all the foundation that’s been laid is slowly building now. The sown seeds are slowly, SLOWLY, maybe starting to sprout. The way Shinae has always played off of Nol and has subconsciously responded to him so many times - as he pulls away, she pulls closer; as he stops chasing, she begins to - makes me think that maybe we are seeing a little spark. I don’t think anything romantically would come of them for a long time, until we have a time jump, maybe, since Shinae is not really aware of what she’s feeling, or why she’s reacting the way she is. And frankly, Nol is so full of self loathing that I don’t think he could entertain the idea of it. I do think it could be there between the lines - he made an effort at one point with Alyssa and gave up when he realized it was fruitless, when she became someone he couldn’t stand. Does he ever think about the ways Shinae foils Alyssa? Is that why he tried so hard to keep that distance between them? He must be aware of how he succumbs to her - that whole incident in the rain proved it when he finally reached out and held her in that tight hug, before he finally steeled his resolve against her. I’m always so curious of what goes on in Nol’s head, what he tells himself about their relationship. The admission that Shinae, like Soushi and Dieter, is important to him is probably something he denied to himself for so long.

And look, maybe just this once, he could let himself have this. Just this once, a stolen pocket of time with no one else around, no one to approve or disapprove, nothing but their own choices and intentions. The dark is for lowering inhibitions, for authenticity, and maybe for allowing yourself what you ordinarily wouldn’t.

I mean, yeah I do think they’ll probably be interrupted lol - wasn’t Minhyuk supposed to be bringing them medicine? and we heard Kousuke grousing about needing to get away from the singing lol, though I don’t think he’s the type to just go barging into random rooms - but I hope if they DO get interrupted, it’s only after they’ve allowed themselves to indulge.

Sure, Nol could refuse her, and maybe Shinae might even feel disappointed if he did. But, idk, maybe it’s just the hopefulness speaking, but the whole thing about being vulnerable in the dark, under shadows shielding you from what might ordinarily prohibit you, I can’t help but to feel (or maybe just hope) that Nol will indulge himself. Shinae’s extended hand isn’t just an invitation to dance, but an offer of her friendship, of their mended relationship. Take her hand and become partners in crime once more. Once upon a time he extended an offer to her he didn’t really mean, and this time she does the same, but full of sincerity, on the hope that maybe she could rekindle a long lost memory of his that he can no longer enjoy. Nol will never again dance around and sing with his mom, but maybe he could build new versions of that memory with Shinae.

ALSO someone pointed out that next week’s episode comes close to Nol’s birthday, which it finally is in the storyline, and LISTEN you can’t tell me that we’ll see nothing of it, right?! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so excited for this next episode I’M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

I could write so much more about just... the nearly tangible tension, the redevelopment of their relationship, the ways they affect each other, but for now I’ll refrain. Maybe I’ll babble in another post lol. I just. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS about where they currently stand. Nol is so certain he’s a monster, someone dangerous, and he isn’t holding back anymore. He shows dark, shadowed expressions he’d ordinarily refrain from letting anyone see, and though there’s plenty of reasons for Shinae to have reservations or to doubt herself, she continues to believe in him, unflinchingly unafraid of him. Though Nol can only see himself as a monster, she’s still able to see the humanity in him, the heart of gold he doesn’t acknowledge, and will continue to hold onto that for him. And I’m a SUCKER for that, I’m A SUCKER for how they’ve developed, how they’ve grown so important to each other through these shared experiences but more importantly, by what they’ve seen in each other, what they believe in, and trying to preserve that for one and other.

Once again, the thing I love so much about them, especially as of late, is that aspect: that they can see in each other things the other cannot, or couldn’t. Nol saw in Shinae a person who had built walls around herself, who kept people out, and wanted to help her do what he couldn’t, wanted to help her open up. Shinae is returning the favor - she sees in him what Nol can’t yet, and continues to fight for him until one day he’ll be able to see it himself. They hold mirrors up to one and other! They respond so intimately to each other! Nol knows how to read Shinae like a book, what her body language is saying, what she means even when her words say something else, and Shinae is learning the same. Don’t ask about his mom, he seems angry, he’ll bolt, how does she placate him instead, how does she get him to continue to open up? Their development is SO well done and GOD I cannot get enough of it I AM SO! LKAJFJKFKJFJKFJ living for this episode, living for this ENTIRE ARC.

God I’m so satisfied lmao

#I Love Yoo #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Alyssa Cho #I HAVE SO! MANY! FEELINGS!!!!!#these episodes are really just delivering exactly what i want and enjoy lmaoooo #confessions in the dark?#vulnerability in the dark?#the intimacy of honesty?#GOD.#GIVE ME MORE!!!!#i love when character development is done so well #when the development of relationships just writes itself #one of my biggest pet peeves is when i can't tell what compels characters #why they are so drawn to each other what is is about this character that makes the other one do what they do #but Shinae and Nol's entire development is so well done? how they've affected each other #Shinae would not be who she has become without Nol's involvement and she is returning the favor the best she can #AND IT'S SO GOOD TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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gravehags · 4 months

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impera ghouls' fav art medium bc I just dropped out of art school lmao I hope I didn't forget anyone (I kinda went overboard so it's a long one sorryyyy)

- Mountain's kinda obvious, but he really likes working with natural materials. Enjoys woodworking and land art. Despite his size, has very deft hands and is extremely delicate. Makes a trip to the farm each season to get some beautiful fresh and golden hay to weave it into ornaments and jewelry. And let me tell you that's a testimony to his skill cause I literally cried over hay last October and I had to soak it in water to be able to bend it. The texture was disgusting and I got destroyed at the critique anyway lol

- I've already said it before, but Cumulus is totally into stamp carving and linocuts. 11/10, very calming, probably has rough hands since you have to use lots of white spirit to get the ink of off the lino, and you gotta use a special rough scrub to get ink out of your skin. Puts her creations everywhere, gives you and the ghouls little cards and patches she printed herself :)

- Cirrus and Sunshine probably share the serigraphy workshop. It's a very delicate craft, especially when you go for traditional paper stencils. But worry not, ghoul claws are sharper and more precise than your average cutter. Though, a intricate multi-colored stencil implies there's a lot of drying time involved, especially on fabric. They always have some kind of brunch during that time, with tea and snacks and such. Invite you to join them if you happen to pass by. (it's them who print the merch I know it)

- Aether makes very cool metal sculptures. He's got both the strength and the patience for it. You know those adorable little bird-shaped garden ornaments made from scrap metal ? Yeah he did some because the local old ladies are always commissioning him to make them. Also the workshop's babysitter, has to keep on eye on Swiss and Dew when they start beefing with a circular saw on their hands.

- Rain is very skilled in needlework. Originally considered himself a better painter, since he's got a sharp eye and is good at color theory, but discovered all the ways you can use embroidery and sewing with an artistic approach during a workshop in his first year. Sewed a costume made out of dried orange peels and called it 'orange leather' once. Also interested in book binding. Will get snappy if the others call him a little grandma while he's embroidering.

- Phantom is a photographer, and a pretty good graphist as well. He's too shy to admit it, but he really does know how to present his work. Has the cleanest portfolio around, and is probably a huge perfectionist. I mean, perfectionism is kind of a must in art school but bug is an anxious wreck (give him a hug). Very gentle, handles the lenses and lights with lots of care. Mainly photographs landscapes and nature mortes, but enjoys taking portraits as well. Takes a lot of self-portraits and will very shyly ask you to pose for him. (I photographed myself as Judith in Klimt's Lilith II : Judith and Holofernes for an assignment and ngl would love to hold bug's head with my tits out on camera)

- Aurora makes little pop-up zines. It's a prefect way for her to give way to both her gentleness and chaotic nature. While pop-ups may look tedious to make, it's actually lots of fun, and you can get pretty chaotic with it too. Has a whole collection of patterned and textured papers, she made most of them. Probably has a 'cool paper stash' she hasn't touched because she doesn't want to 'waste them' and said paper is like Christmas wrapping paper from 2016 (it's me I'm guilty).

- Dew is more interest in contemporary art, especially sculpture. Little guy has no patience and likes to break stuff, I see it as a match made in heaven. Uses his fire ghoul abilities to burn different matters and experiment with them. Kinda see him as my friend who burnt a humongous quantity of human hair for a project. Was pissed no one cuddled him for two days because of the smell.

- Swiss is totally a performance artist. I mean, technically, all of the ghouls have a huge affinity with it, but Swiss especially. A big fan of contemporary composers like John Cage and Karlheinz Stockhausen, as well as Bahaus performance art. He likes to let loose, have fun exploring his body's and voice's capicities in an artistic light. Probably submitted some kind of sextape as a project, but it's okay because the professor likes provocative stuff.

- BONUS : all of them probably were nude models for the evening classes at some point. I haven't included anatomical study in the hcs because no one in their right mind would enjoy sitting on a stool and drawing Greek statues for 8 hrs straight, but none of them would mind being the models for the 2 hrs 6pm classes. Although they'll probably ask you for a massage afterwards because of how tiring it is to stay in the same position for so long.

-unhinged family anon

These are GORGEOUS omg thank you so much for sharing these they’re all so on point!! 🩵

#nameless ghouls #nameless ghoulettes

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vcendent · 2 years

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***please don't repost my art***

hey there demons, it's me, ya boi. have some Beyond Birthday on me, as a treat. ngl i just wanted to draw the bruises beneath his eyes and it somehow turned into a whole thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i go off on my opinions of BB below the cut, nobody come for me.

lil side note, i've never understood the concept of BB being, like, thirst material?? or looking exactly like L but with red eyes? when i read the LABB Murder Cases, this man made me physically recoil every time he was on page, he's just so uncomfortable, so i don't see where this apparent hotness factor that i've occasionally seen come into play came from. to me, he and L look similar enough to fit the same descriptive profile, but they very obviously have different features, and BB is far more.... gaunt? dead looking? than L is since i've always interpreted L as being capable of running on no sleep and his terrible health habits, while BB doesn't have that endurance and is just abusing himself when he does it (on top of having more directly harmful 'quirks' than L). BB is not L's 'evil twin' or 'dark side', or really even that big of a deal. he was hardly a blip on L's radar, not even worthy to be called an adversary, so it makes no sense to me when i see them paralleled to each other as if they're two sides of the same coin or that BB was some great haunting shadow from L's past. the two never even met (according to Mello). BB was just the trash that L took out so he wouldn't stink up the place.

however,,, that being said, i am an absolute sucker for callbacks to BB in fanart and fanfics. makes me go absolutely feral. i think that BB is kinda a wasted character and could have been given a lot more depth and backstory, so i love me a good fanon!BB where i can get it. i just find it intriguing how different fanon!BB tends to be when canon!BB is just some dude with main character syndrome, funky eyes, and a desperate need for therapy.

~ tschuess!

#omg first post!!!#ive been a tumblr spectator for like eight years #its time for me to join the clowns at the circus #my art #fanart #beyond birthday #death note #i read the LABB Murder Cases and i have OpinionsTM

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artificialqueens · 10 months

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🏳️‍🌈 WeHo Trans Nights: Chapter 1 (Bianca Del Rio / Kylie Sonique Love ; Multi) - Imafuckinglibra

A/N : Happy fucking pride, that’s it. I don’t care if the month’s almost over, this mini-series is my pride gift to you all and ngl myself. This was pure, unapologetic, self-indulgent smut that I wanted to exist and you know what, I am really proud of it. And yes, I pinky promise there will be art that follows for this next queue, k bye.

“…then this dumb bitch had the audacity to say, get this, people were killed at Stonewall.”

The small room filled with a loud uproar of oohs, aahs and a few laughs, none of which came from Roy. He was far too busy reposting some snide comeback he tweeted at a heckler to his Instagram, his Instagram story, Facebook, and once again on Twitter, just for good measure.

“Did you hear that?” Darienne asked, slapping Roy roughly on the back.

“Yeah bitch dumb something stonewall, so funny…” Roy drawled absentmindedly, still typing away on his phone.

Never one to shy from a good excuse to celebrate something, his best friend Shane threw an annual party to kick off pride. Always a different stupid theme and always a hotbed for degenerates.

This being the 8th year in a row, Roy had had enough. All night, he’d fulfilled his best-friend duties and helped keep everything running smoothly, as usual, but nearing the end of the party he was not in the mood for any more mindless small-talk. Even with Darienne.

Darienne, still standing beside him, sighed deeply, “Will you lighten up please?”

“Ugh, why?” he grumbled. “You know I hate pride.”

“Now, Roy…”

He felt someone’s hands on his shoulders.

“My love.” It was Shane, cooing in his ear, taking the phone out of his hand just as he hit the last post. “Can we please put the phone away for one night and engage in polite society?”

Roy blinked at him slowly, emphasizing the stupidity in his statement with a loud smack of his lips.

“Look around you,” he gestured with his open palms, “NONE of these people are polite society.”

“Well-“

“Willam sucked off a guy while he watched dog porn, I know Australians have different worldviews but we regular folk see that as…what’s the word?” Shane shifted from one foot to the other, crossing his arms in annoyance as Roy kept pretending to think. “Nasty ass shit!”

“I hate you,” Shane broke out into a laugh, hitting Roy on the arm with his bedazzled rainbow fan, a little roughly at first but then a few more times, playfully, till Roy stopped frowning.

“Okay, okay.” Roy snatched his fan from him.

“But thank you for coming to my party, even if we have so many degenerates.”

“Of course, I get my best material at your little shindigs.”

And that really was the God’s honest truth. As much as Roy loathed Shane’s parties and having to engage with so many people who he tolerated at best, it did make for some top-tier stand-up material. Material the budding comic desperately needed.

“Oh I know,” Shane nodded. “I intend to get royalties any day now.”

“Is that how it is?” He raised an eyebrow. “So this is a business affair?”

“Oh pussyface, at this point I’d settle for any affair.”

“Only if you ask nicely,” Roy shot back with a shit-eating grin, his hand sliding down from Shane’s shoulders to the small of his back.

“Don’t tempt me, I have guests to entertain,” Shane sighed, turning away from Roy and towards the room of people. “Like that one!”

Shane waved at Adore, running off to go catch up.

Roy gave the room another scan, checking for any out of place cups or spills to clean up, even sort of hoping there would be a stain on the carpet to scrub so he’d have something to cure his boredom.

Then, like a godsend, he saw her walking towards him.

“My my, aren’t you just cuter than a box of kittens on a Sunday afternoon?” Kylie whistled when she saw Roy’s outfit.

“Haven’t seen you all night, I was wondering why this party was so quiet,” Roy teased.

“Careful, one of these days I might take it personally,” Kylie smiled. She finally turned around, arms open for a welcoming hug. “Well hey there, Sugar!”

“How are you, Sugartits?” He squeezed her tight, getting a good whiff of her deliciously sweet perfume.

Roy loved getting to hang out with Kylie, rare as it was. There wasn’t a specific reason, she was just that one friend he never really got to work with regularly and thus never spent time with. But it did make reuniting so much sweeter.

They both looked at each other and gave a good exhale, neither sure what to say except the usual, “you look good” or “I’ve missed you”.

Instead they quietly made their way to the bar where the poor twink bartender Shane found on Grindr was panicking while pouring drinks, clearly out of his depth. Roy’s sympathetic smile seemed like the only comfort he’d received all night and for a second he almost felt bad for him, till he decided to note it down in his phone for later material instead.

“Well,” Kylie broke the silence first, turning towards where Willam was still telling his story. “He’s doing the Derrick bit again…never gets new material, does he?”

“Nope.” Roy popped the p for emphasis.

It seemed like every year, Willam would tell this same story, Roy would get drunk on the same cocktails and, if he played his cards right, Shane would ask him to stay over at the end of the night for a wild evening of sinfully good sex. The latter he wasn’t too mad at.

And Kylie. Every year they’d flirt a little over the same shots of tequila, catch up on what was new in their lives, and then part ways yet again. Same old same old, and this year she was right on cue again.

“I’m pretty surprised we’re dressed the same. I mean I look better but we knew,” she teased while they waited for their drinks from the struggling bartender. “I didn’t think anyone else would come as a slutty witch, let alone you.”

“Ouch,” Roy pretended to flinch, pressing his hand to his wounded chest. “Say what the fuck you really think, cunt.”

“Oh please, you can take it.”

“You like that?” Roy asked, lifting a brow. “You should see how I give it.”

Even without looking Roy could feel her hand moving slowly closer to his on the countertop. He tried to decipher if it was just his mind playing tricks on him or if she was trying to do a little more than flirt this time around.

Not that he would mind. She was gorgeous; she’d always been gorgeous but tonight, she was a downright smoke show. It was obvious how much work she put into her body just from her Instagram posts but seeing it in person was something else.

Well, that or just the obvious; the costume she wore was so small and tightly fitted it was damn near indecent.

When Shane had given the theme for the year as ‘Gay Christmas,’ the West Hollywood way of saying Halloween, he didn’t expect anyone else to even bother thinking of a witch; it was too mundane.

And yet, here Kylie stood in nothing but a corset, a lace bustle that showed off her black panties, leather opera-length gloves and boots that went all the way to her thighs. An oversized witch hat and teeny, tiny broom as accessories as if they were an afterthought to make the witch part fit.

“So um, can I ask you something?” Her fingers crawled towards him, running them over the back of his hand.

“Yeah, sure.” He casually took a sip from his cocktail as if the butterflies in his stomach weren’t going berserk.

“I need you to promise me if anyone brings out their guitar or starts singing again this year…”

“Oh god!” Roy burst out into hysterical cackling. The visions of last year’s fiasco and the horrors of 20 queers trying to sing over each other replayed in his mind.

“We are out of here!” She slapped his shoulder, joining in his laughter. “Member when uh, what’s her name?” She snapped her fingers, “the little one with the baby face and the sad songs?”

“Blair,” Roy shuddered.

“Blair!” Kylie pulled her face in confusion. “I always expect some big gal with like some unseasoned potato salad in hand when someone says Blair St. Clair, don’t you?”

“If that ain’t the honest truth, bitch.”

They clinked their glasses and each took a sip, smiling cordially at each other before they returned their focus to where Willam was starting a new story about how drunk Derrick had gotten at a comedy special they did together.

Not quite as old a story as his Stonewall tale, but once you got him going he didn’t relent on any chance to diss good ol’ Derrick Berry, especially when he was in attendance, practically blowing smoke out of his ears with rage.

“So, how’d Shane talk you into this?” Kylie asked, dragging Roy’s focus back from his phone, yet again replying to snarky comments left on his posts.

“Do you mean the party or the get-up?” He didn’t even bother looking up, too distracted in his mission to get the last word in.

“You do look fantastic in that shirt though,” she teased, fingering the little piece of loose thread around his shoulder.

Maybe he’d gone for a predictable look, a black mesh crop top that barely came up to his chest, the same leather harness every respectable queer person owned, black denim shorts, some knee length black boots (which Shane had happily provided) and a witch’s hat.

“I know,” he nodded, finally putting the phone away. “Black’s my color. Have to admit, you don’t look half bad yourself.”

“Oh I know, sugar. You don’t have to tell me.”

“I always forget just how country you are until you talk.” He smiled, a sense of homesickness tugging at his chest. “Sugah.”

“Are you tickled, bitch?”

“I am very tickled…especially by that outfit,” he whistled, making her spin around while holding her hand over her head. “You really—“

“Fill it out well?” Clearly she’d gotten this note before.

“No.” He grabbed her by the arm, pulling her roughly back against him so she’d be facing the same direction as him. “Look.”

“What?” She stopped, looking down at where he held her bicep.

“Better grab your shit…and quick.” He failed to hide an amused smile as he pointed over to where Trixie and Jinkx were setting up their chairs and a guitar.

“Oh, sweet baby Jesus…” Kylie’s eyes went wide in horror when Trixie began strumming the intro to Jolene by Dolly Parton. She quickly grabbed her drink, trying to chug the rest.

“Forget the goddamn drink, run!” Roy laughed, pushing her towards the front door with his hand on the small of her back.

“Is this your first time seeing my place?” she asked politely when they walked into her apartment.

“Uh, yeah.” Roy nodded. “Pretty sure, but it’s nice. Good view.”

God it was awkward.

“We don’t have to make small talk, do we?” she asked with a hesitant tone while putting down her stolen glass down on a countertop. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to Roy and continue their banter from earlier, but she did have more pressing issues to take care of first.

Roy crossed his arms, his brows furrowed as if he was thinking something through, asking, “No chit chat? You sure?”

“If you are.” Kylie shrugged.

Faster than she could say flash Roy closed the distance, crashing their lips together in a feverish rush. His hands were already desperately clinging to whatever fabric he could find to rip it off of her.

“God you just got even sexier,” she breathed into his mouth.

Kylie could feel the corners of his lips twisting into a smile, presumably at the relief that he didn’t have to wait around anymore.

“Back, uh, back room, on the right,” she instructed between breathy moans, following Roy’s lead and removing the thin piece of fabric he dared call a shirt as he pushed her into her bedroom.

Their costumes flew left and right in a haphazard rush to undress till Kylie was finally down to just her corset, and Roy had to let go of her to focus.

“Lord have mercy.” He stopped in his tracks, admiring her tits when they escaped the top loosened laces of her corset.

“You like em, baby?” Obviously Kylie knew the answer, given the way his mouth practically salivated at the sight of them.

“You have no idea,” he moaned, taking one of her nipples in his mouth, causing her head to tilt back in gorgeous ecstasy as Roy’s tongue swirled around it, soothing where his teeth had grazed it.

He let the now over-sensitive bud go with a loud pop, satisfied at his handiwork, and reached for the second one, repeating every step, every bite and every lick, making Kylie practically vibrate with desire.

“Now don’t make me beg.”

Kylie’s long fake nails latched onto Roy’s ass in a desperate attempt to guide his thigh between her legs for any kind of friction as he kept worshiping her breasts.

“I can’t help it,” he murmured into her neck, latching onto her pulse point with his teeth.

“Dammit, why did I wear this stupid thing?” Kylie whined.

She hadn’t expected Roy, ever the hardass, to be so attentive or teasing, letting her get embarrassingly wet and needy before he even made an effort to remove her corset any further.

“Don’t worry baby, I got you,” he soothed, at long last pulling the laces apart.

His gentle tone was a stark contrast to the way his teeth tore into her flesh, nipping at freshly exposed skin lower and lower at a snail’s pace till his knees hit the floor.

“Boy, if you don’t-“ Kylie exhaled impatiently when he paused right at her clit, so close she could feel his breath against her wetness.

She grabbed a fistful of Roy’s hair, the fingers of her other hand spreading herself open so he couldn’t miss what she was asking. Practically offering herself up on a silver platter for him to indulge in.

Roy smirked at her, probably ready to quip something stupid back at her but she pulled his head between her legs, trapping him with a flat palm behind his head before he could even dare.

Finally obeying, his tongue flattened out against her with his eyes pointed up at her, carefully watching her every reaction to every drag of his tongue.

“Baby, please,” she moaned a little more forcefully this time, rolling her hips against him. She didn’t have the patience for teasing licks anymore. She tried angling her hips up so he’d get the message but her legs faltered.

“Woah there.” Roy grabbed onto her with both arms, steading her so she wouldn’t tip over. “Maybe we should…” He tilted his head towards the bed.

“Might be for the best,” she admitted, letting go of Roy so he could stand up.

Face to face again, Roy slipped his tongue into her mouth, letting her taste herself on him as he walked her till the back of her knees hit the bed and she finally laid down.

With his hands on each thigh and a good forceful push, he shoved her further on the bed, her head against the headboard so he’d have enough space to lay down between her thighs on the edge of the matress.

“Baby,” Kylie gasped when Roy’s thumb replaced his tongue on her clit, swiping quick circles around and around till she was breathless. Her hips thrust sporadically onto his pointed tongue, white knuckles gripping the sheets the only thing grounding her.

“Good?”

Ungodly good. Her whole body was alight, lightheadedness set in, her belly warm with anticipation, her cheeks flushed bright glowing red; all the warning signs that she was about to snap.

“Faster…”

“You’re so-“ he tried humming against her but a firm tug at his hair shut him up again.

“Don’t speak!”

It was all too much, even the way Roy was moaning into her while his hips rolled against the edge of the bed.

“Just a little more…oh god…” She sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself as waves of overwhelming pleasure crashed down on her, knocking the wind out of her till she was a softly cursing mess.

The way Roy was still trying to toy with her by tentatively licking slow strokes around her clit even after she stopped shaking, although appreciated, had left her overstimulated.

“I need a minute.” Kylie tapped Roy’s shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Are you okay?”

“Well, I’m definitely kicking myself for not doing this sooner.” Roy flashed a cheeky grin, wiping his wet chin off on her thigh.

“Oh, sweetheart.” She caressed his face, slipping her thumb into his mouth for him to suck on instead, dragging his bottom lip out. “I knew that big mouth of yours would have a good use one day.”

“Bitch.” Roy bit down.

“Why you son of a!” she hissed.

“What? Little ol’ me with the big mouth?

“If you don’t get your ass up here,” she snarled, sitting up and leaning forward enough that she could brush her lips against his, tempting him with a kiss just out of reach, “so help me…”

Roy eagerly obeyed and not particularly in the mood to mince words, Kylie pushed him down into the bed and straddled his back effortlessly in one swift motion.

“Knew those redneck Olympics would have a good use one day.”

“No more talking,” Kylie ordered into his ear, pinning him down with her body weight.

“Yes, ma’am.” If it wasn’t so cute the way he said it so earnestly she might’ve corrected him again.

She started at his shoulders, digging her thumbs into the sore muscles as her hips subtly rolled down onto him, mimicking the way he pleased himself before she stopped him.

Her hands moved lower, exploring the taught muscles flexing under her nails. Kneading his ass through his briefs till he tried to reach a hand into his underwear.

“Now you’re just being a cunt,” Roy huffed when she slapped it away.

She wanted to be generous and let him get off, sure, but not before she could have at least a little bit of fun with him as payback.

“Uh uh,” Kylie tutted. “I’m being a lady, and I’ll take my sweet time if I feel like it.”

Roy dropped his head into the pillow clutched between his fists, a deep annoyed sigh making its way through the fabric.

“What was that?” she asked, tongue in cheek, but he simply repeated the sigh, louder this time.

Kylie could tell by the tight black shirts he wore so often on stage in his Instagram reels that Roy, at the very least, kept an eye on his physique after top surgery.

She’d never seen him this naked or this up close, obviously, but she had to admit; she agreed with Roy on his stance about not doing this sooner.

He’d always been pretty thin but lately his shoulders and back had filled out quite noticeably while his waist and hips stayed as petite as ever, maybe even some new definition in his faint abs if anything.

His tight little ass, however—in his skimpy shorts, she knew it would be irresistible, imagining it as a cute little bubble butt just enough for a fist full each.

Curiosity was getting the better of her and Roy’s sighs had turned to muffled moans by now. She slid off of him and hooked her fingers into his waistband, ready to whip off his underwear in one go till she remembered he had his packer in.

“Can I take this off too?” Kylie gave his underwear’s waistband a little tug, revealing a faint hint of a tan line above his ass crack. She bit her lip, trying to hide how enticing this little detail was to her.

“Yes! For the love of God!”

“Just checking,” she lilted innocently, smiling at his impatience. She yanked off his underwear. “Oh!”

“What?” Roy shot up onto his elbows, looking over his shoulder with panic in his eyes.

“I just knew you’d have the cutest little fanny!” Kylie squealed in delight, grabbing a perfect fistful, just as she anticipated, of each cheek, earning an eye roll from Roy.

At this angle on all fours, ass up with his cheeks and legs spread open, she could see just how practically dripping wet he was.

“Poor honey bun,” she fawned over him, nails running up and down his sticky inner thighs. “You really are such a mess, huh.”

Roy bit into the pillow, refusing to give her the satisfaction she was looking for, but his legs bending to get closer to her fingers said more than any words ever could.

Kylie finally showed some compassion and gave his slit a drawn-out lick, all the way from his dick to his hole.

Roy surprised them both when he let out a loud high pitched whimper, quickly throwing his hand over his face, “Oh my god, I am SO sorry.”

“What was that?” Kylie laughed loudly, she leaned on her side to get a good look at where he was hiding his face in the pillow again.

“I don’t know!” Roy admitted, joining in on the laughter. “Nobody’s tongue’s been that far back in a while! I guess it-it took me by surprise maybe?”

“That’s okay, sugar,” she teased in a low voice against his skin, already hovering over the same spot, ready and waiting. “Do you want me to do it again?”

“Fuck…please,” Roy sighed pushing his hips back against her tongue.

He reached for his dick again, jerking himself off in the same rhythm Kylie’s tongue had set for them. Desperation palpable with every stroke or every time he’d bounce back against her.

Maybe if Roy’s muffled groans weren’t so distracting, either one of them would have heard the front door of her apartment opening.

“Hey, Kylie! Have you seen my blue work shirt?” her roommate shouted, clearly shuffling through the apartment. “I need to switch clothes, but I can’t find it-”

“Fuck!” Kylie jumped off the bed, already throwing on a robe that was sitting on top of a hamper pile nearby.

“What is she doing here?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know, but I’ll be right back,” she whispered, quickly wiping her mouth off with Roy’s discarded crop top.

“Hey, that’s—whatever.” He gave up the fight about his shirt being a makeshift cumrag before he could even start.

While she was dealing with that mess, Roy figured he’d make himself at home. He rolled himself over onto his back and tried to get comfortable, but his erection was by now downright painful.

Just to ease some tension his fingers, lazily slid up and down around his growth till he found a rhythm he liked. Four loud buzzes from his phone on the floor pulled him back to the present. He reached down to pull it from the pocket of his shorts.

Shane J:

Hey

Shane J:

What are you up to?

“Ah fuck,” he sighed. He forgot to say goodbye to Shane before he left and now, clearly bored and/or drunk, he needed some company.

Shane J:

I need you to come over

Shane J:

I’ve got something to show you

He bit his freshly painted nails, debating what he should do or if he should say something since this situation, as fun as it was, seemed to be over.

“She’s gone.”

Maybe not.

Kylie finally came back in before Roy had time to open the messages, her untied robe already on the floor, ready to get straight to business again.

“Great.” Roy shoved the phone behind him like a child who’d been caught with it after bedtime.

“Now,” Kylie purred, climbing over the bed towards him, a huntress on the prowl. She spread his thighs open, threw her left leg over his and with a little repositioning managed to get them pressed together at just the right angle. “Where were we?”

The pressure of her body weight resting on his dick was electrifying, making his hips inadvertently thrust up against her. Finally, he could let go of that breath he’d been holding in.

“That good, baby?” she asked, leaning down to suck on his bottom lip, their hips grinding together in unison.

“I want to fuck you,” Roy whispered into her mouth, his voice practically hoarse with want.

“Then put it in.” Kylie stilled her hips and leaned back, pulling him with her till their positions were switched. Now with Roy on top and in control.

His eyes flicked between hers trying to work out what she was planning.

“What?” She slipped her fingers into her mouth, pulling them back out with a thick trail of spit. “Do you need a map?”

She took his dick between the top of her slippery index and middle finger, guiding it just a little lower towards her entrance, and he gasped at the contact.

“Fu-uck.” His eyes fluttered closed as she pushed his dick into her. He had to pace his breathing to avoid coming right then and there.

It wasn’t particularly deep, but god what he could manage inside felt fan-fucking-tastic. She was tight and wet and absolutely stunning. Especially when she grabbed his ass and wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly while pushing up against his thrusts.

“You never tried this?” she asked softly, her fingers dancing along his well-sculpted chest and around his scarred nipples.

“Not exactly…” he admitted, looking down between them, slightly embarrassed for not thinking of it sooner. “But better late than never right?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, progressively struggling to form words as he fucked her harder, needier.

He could feel the pressure in his stomach building, the possibility of finally getting to come so close, but seeing her fall apart like this a second time was too tempting to pass up. Almost worth edging himself one last time.

His thumb was already rubbing her clit in quick figure eights again in the same way she responded to so well last time, earning louder and more full-throated moans as opposed to her cute little whimpers.

“Oh fuck…” Kylie gasped, throwing her head back onto the bed, her legs trembling as she clung to him for dear life. “Don’t stop…don’t stop…”

He could feel her tensing from deep in her core, every pulse, every flex around his growth pushing him further into oblivion. Unable to process any coherent thoughts. His hips frantically jerked into her even after her limbs went liquid.

“Keep going,” Kylie whispered, her nails deep into Roy’s ass.

“Fuck I’m gonna come!” he growled, gritting his teeth, steadying himself on her shoulders. “Are you-“

“Keep going…” she repeated.

“I’m gonna…I-” He finally came. Unabashedly moaning out any last praises in her name as his whole body ignited, like a high he hadn’t felt before and he wasn’t sure if he could come down from.

His head full of lights and tingling, his body overheated and overstimulated but he knew he needed more, he needed to come again and fast.

“A little more left in you, Sugar?” Kylie asked sweetly, wiping some sweat from his brow.

“Yeah,” he panted, desperately fumbling, struggling to find the right spot he had inside her again after he accidentally slipped out. “I just need to, shit, get this right.”

“Do you need help?”

“Fuck this.”

“C’mere, it’ll be easier,” Roy quickly scooted up to hover over her chest where Kylie waited, resting on her elbows so she’d be the perfect height.

“Jesus…Christ.” He let out another shocked high pitched whimper when her tongue circled his dick. He grabbed her head on either side, guiding it where he wanted her to suck a little harder instead.

“Don’t bother being gentle,” she purred against him, sending delicious shivers straight through his whole body, fogging up his already oxygen deprived mind even more.

“God, where have you been hiding all my life?” he joked in an effort to regain some control, fucking her face till he turned to jelly.

Legs weak, oversensitive and spent, he finally fell back, laying down opposite her; the both of them giggling at the absurdity of the night’s events that lead them here and the scattered bites and bruises they each showed for it.

“Boy, that was a blast wasn’t it?” Kylie was the first to speak, again, patting Roy’s sweat-drenched thigh.

“Fuck,” was all he managed, still a chuckle in his voice. “We should do that again sometime.”

“Yeah, some time…” she lulled, feeling around the bed for where her phone had dropped when they walked in earlier. “I mean, it’s only about midnight now, what time do you have to leave?”

“Seriously?” Roy shot up like an overzealous meerkat, looking at her in disbelief.

“Well?” She shrugged, hooking a leg over his so they were in a perfect scissor position again. “Might need a minute to catch my breath, but you tell me,” she teased, scooting her hips closer so they were touching again.

Both holding onto the other’s hips, they happily melted together again, laying back down to lazily enjoy another round as Roy sighed, “God, I love pride.”

Pride Challenge Points: 7685

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca x kylie #bianca del rio #kylie sonique love #trans character #(s)#t4t #friends to lovers #set during pride #hot witches #smut #imafuckinglibra #fic challenge #weho trans nights #tw pre-bottom surgery trans masc

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