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hominivorax-hematovore · 3 years

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Yes, hello, I am in fact still alive and remembered that tumblr exists. I posted this whole thing elsewhere months ago, but TFCon is coming up and I realized I had never actually posted it here. So.

Custom deluxe class Rescue Bots made from TR figures, because if Hasbro isn't going to give me mainline Generations-styled Rescue Bots, then I'm damn well going to make them myself. I am a grown-ass woman with 0 children and I love Rescue Bots, and I am not at all sorry about it. It's adorable as fuck and it's the one single Transformers series where I could be absolutely sure going in that my favourite characters weren't going to end up dying horribly. Plus it has Steve Blum, which as far as I'm concerned is always a plus. (I do feel like Heatwave is stuck in the wrong show. That is a bot in desperate need of permission to curse who's trapped in a show for toddlers. #LetHeatwaveSayFuck) It's just genuinely a good show with writers who actually care about the characters and whose humor is on point, and honestly, there is some real tragedy in that backstory if you think about it at all. The *very last* crew of a civilian rescue force, lost floating in space for years and years, only revived by chance, coming to an alien planet and discovering that both their home planet and literally all of the other rescue bots are dead and have been for centuries at minimum. They have to adapt to this weird alien world with its weird alien people, and they're not even allowed to go help fight the Decepticons because they're not actually soldiers and they would be dead in approximately five seconds if they ended up anywhere near a real battle. ...Okay, at this point I'm just trying to justify why I even bothered with this project and I don't know why. The other giant alien robot fans here get me, I'm sure. I've been thinking about how much I wanted a good set of RB figures for a while now, and I finally decided that since I had a little bit of cash to spare, if nobody else was going to make them for me I was damn well going to do it myself. I went searching and found www.deviantart.com/trenttroop 's shop on Shapeways selling many, many different faceplates for TR Headmasters, including the RB crew. https://www.shapeways.com/product/F4XBQTASG/rescue-bots-faceplate-four-pack-1?optionId=60329171&li=marketplace(Link to the four pack of faceplates!) Those were an immediate buy, and a starting point for this whole silly, somewhat expensive project. So now I had the line I was going to work with, and the faces I needed for them to be slightly better than "eh, paint him red and call him Heatwave", and now I had to pick bodies for the boys. I then spent a good while poring over images of the figures in the line, waffling on a couple of the options presented, and finally settling on bodies for each of the crew. I ended up getting three out of the four of these guys for an absolute *steal* on offerup-I paid 42 USD *total* for Hardhead, Highbrow and Breakaway, which is only slightly more than *just* the cheapest Breakaway I found for sale on ebay. And then there was Perceptor. Dear friggin' lord, Percy. Why in the name of Primus's shiny metal asshole is he so expensive? The ebay listings for him are *insane*, especially when I was just going to rip him out of any packaging and turn him into someone else. I ended up getting one for 15.40 USD for the figure. From a seller in *Australia*. He cost me 27 dollars extra in postage, and was somehow *still* roughly 20 USD cheaper in total than purchasing the next cheapest Perceptor (60 USD without shipping) from a US seller. After the bots came various bits and pieces I needed, like a ladder and tires for Heatwave and the arm light pieces for Chase. All of these little extra bits were...more expensive than I expected, not gonna lie, because I no longer have the buckets of lego that I used to and buying the specific ones I needed was kind of a pain in the ass. (At least I already had the Autobrand stickers from Toyhax, one less thing to spend money on.) Now, enough about the purchasing of bits, on to the bots! The final list for my RB crew is: Chase-Breakaway Boulder-Hardhead Blades-Highbrow Heatwave-Perceptor Chase's was an easy enough choice, since Breakaway's alt mode was good for Chase and the chest shape fit him very well. All he needed was some paint and for me to make him a lightbar and mount it, pretty much. That's made from some leftover Kreo bits, shaped, sanded, and painted, and mounted with a couple more pieces of Kreo to create a moveable piece that can sit behind his head in root mode. It does unfortunately prevent him from transforming, but I keep all of my bots in root mode anyway, so I'm not terribly bothered. He also got a set of forearm "lights", made from appropriately shaped and painted lego pieces, and then a full repaint. I will say that the arm lights (which end up on his door panels in alt mode) are not show-accurate in shape, but I decided to take a cue from TFA Prowl and make them an actually symmetrical set of lights/blasters instead of whatever is going on with his RB character design. My custom, my rules. I took the main elements of his paintjob directly from the show, of course, and then expanded upon the very basic blocky scheme with details inspired by some other figures as well as some fanart I've seen. I also took the arms and legs off his titan master and sculpted a new headback over what was left, which I also did with the others. (No, I am not taking criticism, constructive or otherwise, on this point. I don't care about the gimmick, the main reason I went with this line was because it would be easiest to do face swaps on.) Boulder's was also pretty easy, as it's not a huge line and I had to work within the deluxe part. Hardhead is close enough in body shape and has treads, so he was a pretty solid base to start from. I started with the intent of adding some extra treads on his arms to make him read more Boulder and less obviously Hardhead, but they ended up looking pretty awful and obviously tacked on even just laid out on the figure, so instead I chose to swap his arms around so that the treads were on the front and then slightly modify them around the elbow joints to give a slightly greater range of motion, and then of course swap the hands over to the new correct sides. (That does mean he can't transform unless I swap them back, but I don't mind that.) I then shaved down the center of his chest completely (went a little too far and ended up with a hole, actually-oops) and added a chopped down piece of Lego windshield and the roof of a cheap dollar store semi truck (the same cheap dollar store semi I used to add a grill to Heatwave) to make his chest more accurate looking and, again, less obviously Hardhead-y, gave him a resculpted headback and then painted him up. I couldn't quite figure out how to give him scoop feet, but I think he's more stable on the feet he's got now, and not *all* of the toy iterations of Boulder actually have the exaggerated scoop feet anyway, so I'm calling him good for now. Blades I waffled a bit more on, because there were a couple options and all of them required me to compromise a bit and get creative. I feel like Misfire or Topspin might possibly also have worked if I'd wanted to go that route (there have been Blades toys where he was inexplicably a non-helo aircraft), but ultimately I went with Highbrow because *helicopter*. I feel like there might be shades of G1 Blades happening in things like the shape of the ankle/tail rotor, but I can't say I'm particularly mad about it. The only modifications I did on him were a shavedown of his faceplate (the sculpt is good, but he was approaching Animated-Sentinel-Prime levels of chinnage-more the fault of the RBA design than the creator of the faceplates), sculpting the headback and adding a curved panel on his chest to round it out a little and cover that weird square bit that seems to serve no real purpose. And then there's Heatwave. I know Perceptor seems perhaps an odd choice at first glance-after all, a tank/microscope is not, in fact, the same thing as a firetruck. I considered Kup or Blurr for the large clear cockpits, but in the end Percy won out as a base because the chest shape was perfect for Heatwave, and having at least that bit be accurate was important to me for having him read correctly. This guy took just a little bit more work than the others, although to be fair, not *much* more. I chopped the grill off of a cheap dollar store semi-truck of the approximately correct size and placed it over the autobrand on his abdomen, and then I removed his microscope and replaced it with a telescoping ladder attached to the whole assembly so that it sits between his shoulders and folds against his back to stick up behind his head as it should. Added some pegs and tires to his ankles and forearms and lego bits to his shoulders for lightbars and then I, once again, resculpted the headback and then painted him up properly. This Heatwave is absolutely allowed to say fuck, Hasbro be damned. Annnd that's it. I spent probably way too much money making this happen, for no purpose other than my own amusement. I hope that my making this post at least somewhat justifies the amount of money, time, and physical/mental energy I put into customizing these guys. I'm under no illusions that they're perfect, but they're mine and I like how they turned out.

#rescue bots #transformers #transformers: rescue bots #Custom action figure #transformers toys #i smile every time i look over at my shelf and see them #i'm a whole adult and i love rescue bots and i'm not even sorry #goddamn it hasbro give us deluxe class Rescue Bots #they're canonically part of aligned continuity you have no excuse #think of the $$$ from the grown up collectors who'd be happy to have something other than optimus prime number 453635 #it's me. i'm grown up collectors #hasbro i am begging you #i love these boys so much #tf blades #tf boulder #tf chase #tf heatwave #let heatwave say fuck #no seriously. let him say it. just once. please. have you seen the shit he deals with on the daily?

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thecreaturecodex · 3 years

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Gyaos Juvenile

Image © Lluis Abadias. Accessed at his Twitter here

[Commissioned by @majingojira, based most closely on the version of Gyaos from the 90s Gamera trilogy. The Gyaos are the enemies that have appeared in all incarnations of Gamera, and it’s not hard to see why. The original Gamera vs. Gyaos is the best movie of the Showa series, and the hook of “what if Rodan was also a vampire” is a pretty good one. Since the Kaneko films made Gyaos a flesh eater instead of a blood drinker, I went in that direction. But I still included a few references to the 1967 version of the monster, both in flavor text and abilities.

And yes, this means that “kaiju, Gyaos” is forthcoming. But considering how many people have commissions with me at the moment, it will be a while before it posts. Stay tuned!]

Gyaos Juvenile CR 14 NE Magical Beast This avian reptile has membranous wings growing along its arms and strong hind legs with talons. Its leathery hide is reddish-brown in color. Its skull is shaped like an arrowhead, a wedge flattened on top with an underslung jaw filled with small, sharp teeth.

The gyaos are a biological weapon devised in an ancient war. They are superficially pterosaur-like, but their anatomy has a variety of strange quirks—they have glowing patches that burn red when the creature is distressed or badly injured, their eyes can move independently in their sockets from one another, and most notably, they are always hungry. The more a gyaos juvenile eats, the more they grow, eventually reaching the size and strength of a kaiju. In this form, a gyaos can begin to lay eggs, which hatch into more gyaos in a matter of days—a single monster can become a global plague in a surprisingly short period of time.

A juvenile gyaos in combat is remarkably agile and mobile despite its size. They fight from the air whenever possible, making hit and run attacks with their claws and teeth, or firing lines of slicing sonic energy from their maws. Against a single opponent, their typical strategy is to grab it in their claws, carry it to a secluded area, and devour it. A gyaos juvenile can heal its wounds, but it requires rapidly metabolizing its own body to do so—only a well fed gyaos can accomplish this feat, and most wait until they are out of combat to do so.

Gyaos juveniles are vulnerable to bright lights, and so are nocturnal. They hunt in aggregations, but these are competitive, not cooperative associations. Juvenile gyaos have even been known to turn on and eat each other if they are hungry enough. During the day, they retreat to caves, deep forests and other dark shelters. They are not site-specific or territorial, roaming over great distances in search of flesh.

Gyaos Juvenile CR 14 XP 38,400 NE Huge magical beast (air) Init +9; Senses darkvision 120 ft., Perception +12, scent Defense AC 29, touch 18, flat-footed 19 (-2 size, +9 Dex, +1 dodge, +11 natural) hp 200 (16d8+112) Fort +17, Ref +19, Will +9 Immune sonic; Resist acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10; SR 25 Defensive Abilities evasion; Weakness light blindness, light vulnerability Offense Speed 30 ft., fly 90 ft. (good) Melee 2 talons +23 (2d6+9/19-20 plus grab), bite +23 (2d8+9) Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks breath weapon (1d4 rounds, 80 foot line, 14d6 sonic, Ref DC 25), devour, mobile grappler Statistics Str 29, Dex 29, Con 25, Int 4, Wis 20, Cha 22 Base Atk +16; CMB +27 (+31 grappling); CMD 47 Feats Dodge, Flyby Attack, Improved Critical (talons), Lightning Stance, Mobility, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Stealth), Wind Stance Skills Fly +18, Perception +12, Stealth +11 Languages Aboleth (cannot speak) SQ metabolize, sprint Ecology Environment any land Organization solitary, flight (2-6), flock (7-12) or swarm (13-40) Treasure none Special Abilities Breath Weapon (Su) The breath weapon of a gyaos juvenile ignores the first 10 points of hardness of any objects in the area. Devour (Su) Whenever a gyaos juvenile consumes 16 HD worth of creatures, it gains 1 growth point. It gains a bonus equal to its growth point total on attack rolls, CMB rolls, saving throws and skill checks. Its maximum hit points increase by 10 for each growth point. For every 2 growth points it gains, its natural AC bonus and SR increase by 1, and its breath weapon deals an extra d6 of damage and its length increases by 10 feet. For every two growth points it has, it gains +1 to its CR. When it has 6 growth points, and again when it has 12 growth points, it gains the giant simple template. When a gyaos juvenile has 16 growth points, it transforms into a gyaos kaiju. Light Vulnerability (Su) A gyaos juvenile takes damage from searing light, sunbeam, sunburst and similar spells and effects as if it were undead. It does not need to save or die when exposed to a sunbeam or sunburst. Metabolize (Su) As a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity, a gyaos juvenile can expend 1 growth point to gain the benefits of a regenerate and cleanse spell. This growth point is lost, reducing the gyaos’ bonuses as appropriate, but the gyaos cannot reduce in size category due to this loss. A juvenile gyaos can use this ability up to 3 times per day. Mobile Grappler (Ex) When a gyaos juvenile succeeds in a CMB check to move a grappled opponent, it may move up to its speed. Sprint (Ex) Once per hour, a juvenile gyaos can move up to 10 times its fly speed on a charge.

#gyaos #gamera #kaiju #pathfinder 1e #commissions

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watashigaita · 3 years

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Favourite Loki fanfics

LIFE IN REVERSE Home is where you make it. An AU story where Loki falls to Earth after the end of the first “Thor” movie, wanders around trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow ends up working for SHIELD. This story is a slow burn type of fic, mostly based on Loki character development. No ship. 44 chaps. Finished and totally worth the reading!

FALLEN STAR Ok, I’m not a huge fan of the Loki/Jane relationship but I have to admit that this fic was a very good reading. It’s so well written and developed that I couldn’t avoid to enjoy them together. Also because it’s not a romantic type of story, but a slow-burn/angst and adventure one. So, definitely my type of fic. It’s set after the events of “Thor”. Again here, as in “Life in reverse”, Loki happens to fall to Earth and he’s rescued by Jane, who had been waiting the return of Thor. The problem is that “Loki Odinson” is now a bad guy who needs to hide, and when he meets midgardian people he believes necessary to give to himself a new name and a new hidentity while waiting for the right opportunity to take control again. Ship: Loki/ Jane F. 27 chaps. Finished and totally worth the reading!

___________________________________________________________

LOKI and SYLVIE favourite stories so far:

THE ISLE OF MISTS

3 Chaps, completed. The search for Gamora takes the Guardians of the Galaxy to a dreary planet of endless mist, where a maze is said to reveal the path to a lost loved one for any who make it to the center. Thor figured he was just along for the ride, until he stumbles into two different quests entirely.

OR: Thor reunites with Loki, meets Sylvie, and is the somewhat unfortunate witness to their reunion.

The story is set in the isle of mist atmosphere (aka: the witcher 3 references... and just for this, it wins).

I DON’T WANT A THRONE What if Sylvie had banished Loki back to the moment when he had been being interrogated by Natasha during the attack on New York instead of sending him to the TVA? Ok this story is not finished yet (15 chaps for now) but it is a good candidate to this list. It’s very well written and the plot is soo intriguing (with also the right amount of angst that I like). I check every day if there is a new chap for how much I already love the story. So super good. Really.

FIND MY WAY BACK TO YOU 4 chaps for now, not completed yet. Reunion fic set after 1x06 of Loki. Ok there are many Sylki reunion fics around the web, but this story is developed with a very good background, set during the multiverse war in a planet where Sylvie is actually fighting Kang’s soldiers. So, there is a good potential storyline development. Plus: Loki and Sylvie are oh so very In-Caracter! And ther is that little bit of angst that helps loving it even more. Unfortunately right now there are only 4 chaps, hope the author will keep posting because the story has a very good potential and is very well written.

AN ENDING, A BEGINNING 2 chaps. Completed. Set after the finale of season 1, Loki regrets seeking out why Sylvie was told the truth about her heritage from a young age where he was not. The answer is going to find out.

(P.S. the fan art used as cover for this post is not mine. Source )

#loki #sylki #sylki fanfictions #favourite loki and sylvie fanfictions #FavFanfic #marvel #sylvie #fan fiction #favourite stories so far #please fell free to integrate some more #other suggestions?#fanfictions #fan fictions #sylki fan fictions #loki fan fictions #loki fanfictions

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ltwilliammowett · 3 years

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Post Office Packet ship Hanover

The Hanover was found in August 1994 by Mr Colin Martin, a former coal miner, when he had been searching for it for seven years. She was located in the so-called Hanover Gove near Perranporth, Cornwall.

The site plan

She was a packet ship and on 28 October 1763 on her way to Lisbon. And even though the seven year war was over, she was well armed with her 14 guns and also had quite a large crew of 27 men. When she started her voyage, she was carrying mail, parcels, a lot of cash and another 33 passengers, bringing the total number of 60 people sailing from Falmouth to Lisbon. On 8 December, however, she ran into such a strong storm near Cornwall. The storm grew into a hurricane, however, which doomed several ships that day. At some point that night, the Hanover struck at the mouth of a cove isolated by the 90m cliffs between St Agnes and Perranporth, just west of Cligga Head at a place now known as Hanover Cove.

Hanover site plan

The losses were great, only three survived, while all the others went down with the ship. As early as 1765, a salvage crew began to be assembled to recover the money and other items. As a result, the wreck site was no longer fully intact when the wreck was found.

Ship

The ship itself was a two-masted brigantine, as the Lloyd’s register said and the wreck remains could confirm. This collection consisted of 31 planks, 1 stringer and 21 frames.

Finds

A single 2.2m (7'4") long old Admiralty Longshank anchor was found on site, its weight is around 150kg. Some fragments of the ship's interior were also recovered.

The anchor

These included nails, door frame pieces. Rope fragments etc. The ship's bell, made of copper, bore the name of the ship that finally identified the wreck.

Of all the guns examined,only one seems to belongs to Hanover's own armament. It is a 4- or 6-pounder gun with a calibre of 80mm - 88mm (3¼- 3½ inches) and a length of 1.64m (66 inches), totalling 1.82 (72 ½inches). There is a suspicion that the other 50 guns were collected from other wrecks in the vicinity for later salvage. However, it has not been confirmed whether this is really the case. It seems more to be the case that most of the old and mostly damaged guns were cargo.This was in addition to several shots in the form of Grape, Round and Bar shots. Some guns still had wadding and tompion in them that could be recovered.

Other finds included rings, bones, both animal and human (over 100 were be found and reburied) . Pewter, pottery, small arms and a lead plate that weighed 2820g, which is 99.472 ounces.

Conclusion

Beyond the information presented here, history has left little about the Hanover. The site did, however, reveal several large rocks lying around the wrakc, suggesting that it probably hit them before being pressed against the cliffs. Presumably many of the people on board were killed, as the bone remains suggest. Many of them also drowned. Further statements could not be made due to the disturbed findings.

However, it is possible to determine why she was so armed. At that time, the Post Office had to constantly reckon with they ships falling victim to a French privateer. Even though the war had been over for months when the Hanover sank, the danger still existed and the ships were therefore sufficiently armed. All in all, she is an interesting wreck, even if not everything is in its original place and much has been lost.

All images are from - British Postal Packet Hanover, 1757: salvage and archaeology by David Parham, Chris Underwood and Ruth Rhynas Brown, 2013

#naval history #packet ship #hanover #1763 #wreck #age of sail

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earisu1 · 3 years

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When did the Airship Crash?

Original date of the post: 24 of October, 2007

Disclaimer: not my words, not my ideas, just reposting to spread and preserve.

“ I’ve been studying my newly created Document-based Time-line: Before Jennifer arrived at the Orphanage in order to try to figure out a few things about the Rule of Rose game. Such as when did the airship crash? And, using the crash as a reference point, when did Jennifer arrive at Gregory’s house?

There are a couple of newspaper articles that relate to the airship flight.

25 April 1929

The World’s Largest Airship to Take Flight

In anticipation of the coming era of airship travel, Britain announced the completion of the world’s largest airship. In its long awaited first flight, it will lift off at Cardington and fly to India by way of London. All of Britain eagerly awaits the inaugural ceremony. Along with the Mayor and the Countess, children from the local orphanage will participate in the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

(“Unlucky Clover Field”, Smoking room, newspaper)

and

23 June 1929

Luxury Airship Missing!

England’s largest luxury airship, which just set sail on its virgin flight—a flight celebrated across the country with great fanfare—was reported today to have gone off course and is currently missing.

It is speculated that the vessel diverted from its course to avoid a low pressure system approaching from the south, but its whereabouts are still unknown.

Due to the heavy thunder and rain that have blanketed the area since yesterday, the search for the airship has faced many difficulties.

(“Gingerbread House” Cellar Bedroom, newspaper clipping pinned up on wall)

It might be thought that the ribbon-cutting ceremony coincided with the beginning of the airship’s “virgin flight” (I think this is a slight miss in the translation: I’ve always heard such flights phrased as “maiden flights”). But I think that we can rule out that the flight referred to in the RoR article–23rd of June–began a full two months earlier, unless we want to try to make an argument that the airship made it to India, stayed there for quite some time, and then crashed near the end of its return flight to Cardington. The expected time for a flight from England to India was, according to this article (Airships R100 and R101) on comparable airships of this era, only 5 or 6 days.

If it were the case that the airship was on its return flight, however, I would think that something would have been included in the RoR article–23 June–regarding the airship’s success in reaching India (which I imagine would also have been celebrated with fanfare) and that it was on its return flight (and can that return flight much later still be called its virgin flight?) when lost. Instead the RoR article–23 June–says that the airship “just set sail on its virgin flight.”

I think that the “inaugural ceremony” described in the RoR article–25 April–probably was the occasion of a test flight, perhaps the first test flight, of the airship. The “virgin flight” term must’ve been saved for its first commercial flight later, which began sometime in June.

I think that the true-life story of the R101 was the inspiration for the airship flight depicted in the Rule of Rose game. The first commercial flight (it had only test flights previously), in 1930, of the R101 had the following schedule: Cardington to India: 5 days; stop-over: 4 days; return from India to Cardington: 6 days. Total round trip time: 15 days. (Airship R101 –a different article). Even the depiction, in Rule of Rose, of living spaces inside of the airship, rather than just inside of a gondola, uniquely match the R100 and R101:

Life on Board :

The R101 was seen as a lavish floating hotel. Even by today’s standards, the open promenades and public spaces would be seen as unique in the skies. These large British ships were the first to adopt the style of using the interior of the ship for the passenger accommodation. The only contemporary ship which was running a passenger service was the German Zeppelin ZL127 – Graf Zeppelin. Even then the ship could only accommodate 20 passengers who were situated in a stretched forward gondola beneath the hull of the ship. The utilisation of interior space within the R100 and R101 was a first of its kind and the R101 could boast 2 decks of space, a dining room which could seat 60 people at a time and a smoking room which could seat 20. The promenades showed off the view to the fullest advantage. Compared to the noisy smelly and tiring journey in an aeroplane, the airships were seen as pure luxury, with service comparable to that of the greatest ocean liners.

The R101 also crashed during its attempted flight to India. It crashed in France, at night during a storm, resulting in 48 deaths and 7 survivors. It was less than 8 hours into its flight.

I think that the airship in Rule of Rose also must’ve crashed very early into its flight. It took off from Cardington, and the place where Gregory (who “rescued” Jennifer) lived was also in Cardington. It makes sense to think that the crash occurred in, or very near, Cardington probably not long after take off.

Despite that radar had not been in use in those days, I don’t think that the airship could have been down for long without it being noticed that it was missing. The R101 sent and acknowledged numerous radio messages during its few hours of flight. So I think that, in the case of the airship in Rule of Rose, if it stopped acknowledging radio messages this would have been noticed promptly.

A complication arises when we now compare the weather report of the RoR article–23rd of June–which speaks of “heavy thunder and rain that have blanketed the area since yesterday”, with the weather observations of Gregory in his diary. Gregory doesn’t report rain!

Did the Rule of Rose game-writers mess-up? Or can we come up with an explanation?

I think we can come up with an explanation that works.

The airship could have gotten all the way to France within 8 hours, so it could easily, in just a few hours, gotten to an area which was blanketed with heavy thunder and rain, but which didn’t bring rain to Cardington. If the airship took damage in that storm, and perhaps had a lightning strike knock out their radio system, they might have decided to escape the storm and return to Cardington to make an injured landing. And although they did escape the storm (and make in back to, or near, Cardington) their damage still caused them to crash before making it back to their intended landing area. Jennifer survived, but was dazed and traumatized (we know she lost her memory) and wandered away from the crash site. Perhaps this occurred on the 22nd, a day that Gregory describes in his diary as “cloudy”.

Gregory’s June 1929 calendar (edited)

18 (sun)

19 (sun)

20 (sun)

21 (sun)

22 (cloud)

23 (sun)

24 (sun)

25 (sun)

26 (sun)

27 (sun)

28 (unmarked)

29 (unmarked)

30 (unmarked)

I don’t see anything in Gregory’s dairy to indicate that he found Jennifer, or that Jennifer wandered into his yard, so this probably means that Jennifer didn’t arrive at Gregory’s house until after the 27th (we don’t see any diary entries later than that). Was she wandering around in the woods until then? If so, she must’ve been in pretty bad shape by the time Gregory rescued her.

If anyone has an alternate way of fitting together the clues, that seems good to them, I’d be delighted to read of it in the comments section.”

#rule of rose #rule of rose mysteries #rule of rose theories

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lilydalexf · 4 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Slippin’ Mickeys

Only 3 stories by Slippin’ Mickeys ended up at Gossamer, but she’s written many more stories than that. She’s also one of the few authors who posted numerous stories during the show’s original run and then again in the revival years. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here, including Last Chance Falls and Currahee. Big thanks to Slippin’ Mickeys for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I would say that it does and doesn't surprise me. It surprises me that anyone would want to read something I wrote all those years ago, (only in that I was an actual teenager at the time, and had no chops at all -- I've grown a lot as a writer, and honestly have trouble reading my old stuff because I would have made much different creative decisions now). But the fanfiction that came out of the original run of the show -- from almost day one -- was so rich and varied and a lot of it so well written that I am not the least bit surprised that people want to read it today. I go back and read old favorites often, and am always thrilled to find something that's new-to-me, even if it's 27 years old.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

The first thing I think about when I think about my fandom experience are the friends I made along the way. The X-Files came up with the internet, and there was a whole new way of connecting with people that liked the things that you liked. To this day, I am good friends with many people that I met through the show back in 1997-98. When the revival came about, I dove back in, and made new, more recent friendships that are just as rich. I love the show, but I also love the people I met along the way.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I first got into the show's online community on some random message board that I think I probably found through a Yahoo search one day in a computer lab on my university's campus. I connected with one woman from Greece named Fay that day, who invited me to join a group of women that chatted about the show after it aired on Monday nights. After the first time I hooked up with them, we talked almost daily via ICQ. Later, in the early aughts, I found the forums on Mighty Big TV/Television Without Pity, where some of the most intelligent discussion was going on. The forums were heavily moderated, and so they were always on topic, and it was just a smart, funny, great place to be.

Eventually, I started working for TWoP as both a writer and moderator (surprise! A lot of people don't know this because TWoP protected the identities of their mods so well, but I was the X-Files board mod after Jessica left!). It was my first paid writing gig and opened doors for me both professionally and personally. Two TWoP recappers were in my wedding!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Fanfiction opened my eyes to storytelling as a medium. I'd obviously gone to school and read books, but it opened my eyes to words to could do and be. It was a heady time. There were stories of every stripe. Short, long, canon-compliant, AU, experimental, you name it. We had such gifted writers, too. To this day, I'd almost rather read a piece of well written fanfic than a good book. Fanfic made me want to be a storyteller myself.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

It was the 'ship. God bless the ship. My first episode was Never Again, but I didn't watch again until I was sitting with my college roommate freshman year and she was like "sorry, but I have to watch The X-Files on Sunday nights." That first episode was Redux. The next week was Redux II, and by then it was all over for me. The lengths Mulder and Scully would go to for each other? And the relationship wasn't even sexual? Here were two people who loved each other. Really loved each other. Selflessly. I was SO IN.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

At first, I started reading it. This was back when you could only watch the show in reruns or on those VHS tapes that were sold in three packs that had two eps on each tape (I still have the trading cards that came with them), so after I burned through the VHS options (of which there were few), and set my VCR to tape the weekly reruns on FX, I needed MORE. I found fanfic. And in fanfic, Mulder and Scully actually like, kissed and maybe even had sex! I read everything I could get my hands on. Pretty soon, I wanted to write it myself.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Things are tough these days. It's a hard world to live in, and politics aside, it just feels like everything is falling apart around us. When I first found the show, my life was in a bit of upheaval and I dove into the fandom to distract myself. I'm doing the same thing these days. When the show ended, I left the fandom and lived without it for about 15 years. But when the revival came (and really only after finishing season 11 -- season 10 didn't do much for me), I dove back in. I have quite a few more responsibilities these days, but when I can't watch the news anymore, I log on to XF Twitter (I use my fandom account far more than my IRL account) or Tumblr and get lost for a while. And most nights find me reading or writing fanfic before bed. When the world gets better (I'm cautiously optimistic) and the show has been off the air for years and years, will I leave again? Maybe. But for now, it's once again my happy place.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Nothing hardcore. The X-Files is my ride or die.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do an occasional episode or movie rewatch. Not too often, but when I'm jonesing and have 45 free minutes, I'll put one on. But I'm writing fanfic again, and I get hit with inspiration at random and odd intervals, so it's safe to say I find myself thinking about Mulder and Scully probably more than is healthy.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

All the time. The old stuff, the new stuff, the good stuff. If I have five minutes and my kid is entertaining himself? I'll happy pull out an old favorite.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I'm reluctantly abstaining from this question, as I'm still active in the fandom and I know that naming favorites will hurt some feelings.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Of The Eight Winds is probably my favorite. I've had a lot of fun writing AU's lately. It's a nice creative outlet, taking our favorite agents and plunking them in a totally different world.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Do I! I have a whole ass queue. It's frankly irresponsible.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I was writing professionally before I had a baby, and I took years off to be a stay at home mom. Once my kiddo was finally in school full time, I started writing again. With the pandemic, that's for the most part on hold, as I just don't have the bandwidth to dedicate to professional work. Fanfic is easier to play with when you only have five minutes here or there, and it's also great exercise when it comes to plotting and prose, so I'm sticking with fic for now. When the kiddos are all back in school, maybe I can start getting paid again.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I get a lot of prompts that I just adore. And honestly, a lot of times, I'll post a stupid picture or ridiculous prompt of my own on Twitter and get dared to write it. If the idea gets stuck in my craw, I generally have to exorcise the demon.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Bad Blood had just aired and I was obsessed with it. I wanted to pay homage to it, so took Mulder's "who slipped him the mickey?" quote and ran with it. Do I regret that? Sometimes.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My husband knows and is supportive. He's a working writer, so he supports my endeavors, though I know he wishes I were doing something I could monetize. But it makes me happy, and ultimately: happy wife, happy life and all that jazz.

The friends of mine that I've made through the fandom all know and are super supportive.

As for the rest, well... I have a nom de plume on purpose!

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

All my newest work is on AO3. My old stuff can be found on various archives. Like the truth... it's out there.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'd leave it with: we're a blessed fandom. The show we stan (even with the real stinkers, there's always something to love) keeps giving, the fellow fans are all some of the smartest, sweetest, and most dedicated people out there... we've been blessed for 25 years, and I don't see that stopping any time soon.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 11, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #slippinmickeys #xf fanfic author interviews

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ziamln · 4 years

Note

Just wondering,why do you think nobody has forced zayn to post about the baby? And is that a good thing or do you think he’s in trouble for it?

It is an interesting question, thank you for asking.

I think a lot of the reason he's been able to get away with it so far is the fact that they've been pushing this crap about him hating social media alongside him being an extremely private person.

A lot of the fans don't even question his lack of 'excitement'/posting because of his anxiety and the slow reduction over the past year of his social media presence. One of the articles that was questioning why zayn wasn't there went on to say that it 'isn't anything out of the ordinary. Its not really about him- he's not the one gestating a baby' [essentially saying hes irrelevant to the posts] and going on to talk about how he's 'notoriously private' and prefers being 'out of the mix' and saying their desire for privacy will only intensify, which is utter bullshit if Giggles latest posts are anything to go off- she's actually getting less and less private.

Also a lot of the baby related posts are all linked directly back to giggles, and rarely Zayn, we've only had 2 posts linking Zayn to being the father and the rest was a shit ton of articles. There's not many people questioning why he hasn't said anything, they're mostly just [alarmingly creepily] idolising his supposed child. They've never questioned his absence BC the relationship has always been tailored to favour giggles and make her out to be this amazing person.

All of a sudden giggles is the most amazing person and a Queen and the best everything. No one wants to remember a single bad thing she's done. I mean they don't question a single thing because they idolise her and her relationship so much they forget how badly this whole things has been played out through the drastic changes in bumps between pictures and don't even get me started on the shambles of the dates and timeline of this mess.

Also I'm not sure how well thought out and planned this whole thing was or whether it was a last minute decision of yes, there's quarantine and its more difficult to stunt so how can we carry this on??? Oh perfect quarantine baby announcement so people can't see the same patterns and flaws from the last two baby gates! [Or I also have the theory about how she may be pregnant [not zayns ofc] and that she fell pregnant around the time this one was announced randomly at 5 months in the middle of lockdown???? Like that's not weird at all...] Like you're trying to tell me she would be careless enough to get pregnant whilst being at the "peak" of her career and was unsure if Zayn was 'the one'... Okayyyyy.

Out of all the Hadids the only one who has explicitly used Zayn's name is Bella in her recent, and that was most likely to promo her new Versace perfume but z*gis didn't see how odd that was and ate that shit up BC omg Bella mentioned Zayn, couple goals!1!! The only other real indication they've had for Zayn being the dad is that hella photo shopped post giggles posted captioned as baby daddy and so now no one is questioning Zayn for not responding because the mother of the child confirmed it and they're obviously loved up and there's nothing else left to question at all is there?

Tbf though with all three of the baby gates it has never been made out to be about the 'father', they get next to nothing out of it. It has always been tailored to suit whatever narrative or promo the 'mother' needs because its all about the fame for them and what they can get out of it and just like hardly anyone questions [other than larries, ziammies or people who can see past the lies] Louis or Liam's involvement in their children's lives, unless theyre hating and calling them a deadbeat [once again proving they get nothing out of this but the 'mothers' do].

Giggles has proven time and time again that she loves capitalising off Zayns name, e.g. Mohameds recent [deleted post]- who started trending? G*gi and Z*gi, but not Zayn???? Why??? and then surprise surprise Giggles makes a post... And then, the first thing she does after Zayns posts a selfie after months of silence... The baby daddy post... And people don't even question this shit because being happy for Zayn means they love him so much!!1!!1!1!!! Like its funny how in this whole thing, everyone BUT Zayn has been getting some sort of promo from it. Seriously, go onto google, search Zayn and go on the news bar, not a single article there is Zayn centric, its all about Giggles or the 'pregancy' and Hadids.

Zayn has always been second place when it comes to Z*gi, despite the fact that she has used his name to get to where she is, [you can't deny how much her profile has grown since this shit started] Zayns music gets no attention from the media unless they make it about Z*gi- this has always been about boosting Jelenas career, and its evident about how much press this baby is getting over any of Zayns projects or music.

But no of course because some can see through the lies and question if Zayn is truly happy and actually look into this shit we are fake fans because we aren't playing ball and just being blindly happy for him.

Or maybe its to make people question less if they decide to go down the route of it turning out to not be Zayns child [DNA scandal or something?] Not sure on that one though now that Bella mentioned him... Tbf tho, until Bella mentioned him, if you look back at everyone elses posts, lives or interviews they have never mentioned Zayn, only ever mentioning giggles or 'they'. Honesly, its actually amusing how giggles posted that post saying baby daddy, Zayn actively ignored it, [its not like her posts could get lost in his feed when he only follows 27 people and he couldn't spare her a like i'm-] yet Bella managed to post a picture of Gigi saying baby mama, kind of embarrassing if you ask me, love.

Its funny how he's only hates social media when it suits the narrative. He was pretty active on social media this time a year ago, posting a few times a week or at least a few times every month, and then suddenly at the start of the year he's posting a bit and then, bang- nothing. All of a sudden Zayn hates social media and doesn't post for 5 months after years of regular posts...

So he can come online to post about UFC [which I find adorable] but he can't take a minute to like his pregnant girlfriends pictures and z*gis don't even question that??? It kind of says a lot about what Zayns role in the relationship is to them. Because Giggles is the queen don't forget, Zayn has no relevance unless it suits them or she posts a picture with him, after all, all he did was get her name out there!!!1!!

No one is even questioning Zayns family's lack of response on this whole thing and some of the shade they have thrown, purely because they liked a few posts or made a comment here and there so obviously Zayn is the father and he must be so excited because his family is liking the post, oh wait but he hasn't? No that's totally normal and not questionable at all.

They think being happy for Zayn equates to genuinely caring about him, when in reality its not the case because if they truly cared and weren't so far up Jelenas arse they'd be able to tell what was true and false and whether he was truly happy or not, simple.

As for whether he is in trouble or not, its hard to tell. I should think not, with all the crap he's having to endure the least they could do is leave him in peace. But they're evil personified so chances are they could be very pissed with him and waiting for this 'baby' to be born to wreak havoc and have him super involved. I doubt that would sit well with him though because its obvious to see how difficult he has found stunting since the beginning, this would be hell for him if they made him have to be active. I do have a feeling that BC we are in the endgame of some of these stunts [some contracts may be ending soon] that they could get a lot more in your face with it...

Or maybe because Liam has taken on the engagement they'll go easier on Zayn? I just hope Zayn is not made out to be the bad guy however this ends, he deserves better.

Ok i need to stop because there is so much wrong with this whole thing I could go on about it forever, but either way this whole thing is hella suss, regardless of what you believe. You can't deny it.

I'm sorry this ended up so long, I hope it answered your questions though! x

#zayn #zayn malik #zigi is fake #free zayn #1d #zouiam

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tirednotflirting · 4 years

Text

masterlist {november 27, 2022}

5 seconds of summer

cake

i am missing you more than i should (guess i’m not out of the woods) {2k}

“Luke?”

He jumps as he spins in the stool he’s seating in, Luke’s eyes suddenly meeting the ones he’s been searching for in every corner of the world. He used to spend hours lying awake thinking about this exact moment, about what it would be like to speak again for the first time with his lost great love.

{ao3}

haunting me forever from the start {3.5k}

“See, Cal,” Michael lets his elbow drop to lean on Calum’s shoulder. “These kids aren’t even scared of this. You’ll be totally fine.”

Calum is moments away from giving a snarky response when he catches a glimpse of the people in line behind them as he turns in Michael’s direction.

And of course the most beautiful boy he has ever laid his eyes on is just steps behind him and also about to witness Calum shriek like a baby at the sight of a clown or something.

for ainslee’s 2020 halloween fic event

{ao3}

all I need is your heartbeat beating (next to mine) {1.9k}

Calum had always enjoyed the little things in life.

{ao3}

home is wherever you are tonight {1.3k}

Home is with other people, he thought (though that sounds just corny enough that he figures it’s something he read on a decorative pillow in a craft store or on a post his mom shared on Facebook).

{ao3}

malum

while the rhythm of the rain keeps time {1.1k}

It’s a combination of sounds he finds himself mentally bookmarking, the mixture of the rain, the whirring of the A/C, and the reminder of the presence of Michael somehow creating the perfect mixtape for a calm early morning.

{ao3}

and we’d both stay out until the morning light {2.7k}

He lost track of the number of nights they’ve had like this a long time ago, the center of glittering, happy chaos being a place Calum loves to frequent. He’d follow Calum anywhere, including to a mindless and seemingly pointless celebration like tonight. Michael knows he’ll go anywhere so long as he gets to keep watching the way Calum’s eyes and smile sparkle when even the faintest light hits his face.

He’s watching it then, practically being blinded by it all, he thinks, when Calum catches Michael’s hand and pulls him back in for another dance.

{ao3}

lashton

i’ve got a secret for the mad (in a little bit of time it won’t hurt so bad) {2.5k}

Luke woke up in an odd position, his long limbs tucked up onto the couch, an ache in his neck but also a pair of lips pressed against where the pain began (something oddly poetic, he would reflect on later during a writing session that only he and Calum attended). Ashton’s body was half on top of his own, the drummer’s calloused fingers pressing against his ribs under the t-shirt Luke had thrown on after showering in the venue the night before hopping on their bus.

{ao3}

on a summer evening (baby, you’re the end of june) {2.6k}

It’s a scene that has a mob of butterflies flying through his stomach straight up to his heart and taking over his thoughts because Ashton suddenly finds himself knowing he would give up anything to watch this exact moment play out everyday for the rest of his life if he could. Watching this person he cares so so deeply for be warm and safe and happy and with him.

{ao3}

you’re my golden hour (the color of my sky) {2.2k}

“Thinking about me?”

He giggles at Luke’s teasing words, feeling his cheeks warm some more than they already were. Ashton shifts some to get Luke to sit up and look at him. He can’t help the calloused hand that falls to his cheek, his thumb running along his cheekbone, beneath his tired, happy blue eyes. “Always.”

{ao3}

does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes {4.6k}

Except this time, as he catches just the briefest glimpse of the man’s face, of his hazel eyes and strong jawline, he realizes this isn’t a stranger. Very much not a stranger. It’s Ashton Irwin, the host of at least three of those reality dating shows he forces Michael to watch with him on the weekends since he can’t watch them when they air live on Monday and Tuesdays.

Or, well, he was the host of all of those shows until about two months ago.

Because Ashton Irwin has been dead for two months.

or Ashton Irwin is supposedly dead but Luke just found him in the milk aisle at 2am

{ao3}

i was just an only child of the universe (and then i found you) {2.2k}

“What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

Luke’s expression shifts for a moment then, to something lighter and happier, in response to the compliment. It fades just slightly and then he’s dropping his spoon in his mostly empty bowl and turning in the barstool so he can face Ashton. He drops his hands around his waist and maneuvers the standing boy to move between his legs. “You ever think about how tiny we are?”

{ao3}

but we were something, don’t you think so? {2.6k}

He takes a deep breath as he watches Ashton continue down the street, not once looking back to see if Luke is still looking at him. And when his own walk sign lights up, it takes Luke just a moment to get his feet to start moving again as one single thought fills his mind so many times it feels like it’s blocking his vision.

If one thing happened different, would everything be different today?

{ao3}

hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you (and i will hold on to you) {2.6k}

Luke had imagined a moment almost exactly like this a million different ways. Only recently had he given up on the idea of ever running into him again, of being asked to join him for a meeting that would become another big, Hollywood produced moment in Luke’s memory. However, in every one of those fantasies that Luke had allowed to play out in his mind, he had failed to factor in what it would feel like to hear the forgotten voice of a lost love.

or part two to but we were something, don’t you think so?

{ao3}

and I’ll make a cup of coffee, with the right amount of sugar (how you like it) {1.7k}

It’s around noon when Luke jumps just slightly as a coffee cup from the shop near his apartment and a to go bowl appear in front of him. He doesn’t lift his face from the table but hears some rustling and then a plastic spoon is left on top of the bowl. A warm hand is placed against his shoulder and he can feel a kiss being placed against the top of his head.

Ashton mumbles something soft against his hair, his hand squeezing Luke’s shoulder before heading off. For just a moment, Luke feels some of the tension in his back lift off, as though Ashton’s touch were able to pull some of that away.

{ao3}

i don’t sleep at all without you pressed up against me {1.1k}

“Been feeling funny all day. Like, something feels off,” Luke mumbles, his voice coarse still from the show. “I can’t sleep.”

Ashton nods, wondering if Michael and Calum are also feeling the same way or if it’s just one of those Luke And Ashton Things. He finds himself hoping it’s the latter but he’s too tired to reason out why. “You wanna try to sleep here?”

“Yes please,” Luke says quietly, already making his way into the room.

{ao3}

my eyes have always followed you around the room {1.5k}

Ashton’s house is filled to the brim with people and glitter and bubbly drinks and all he can do is watch the way Luke squeezes his eyes shut, a bright smile on his face when posing for a picture. All he can do is watch the way the tall blonde tucks his messy hair behind his ear only to have the curls fall back into his face, his efforts entirely fruitless. The entire building is practically shaking from the volume of the music but all he can hear is Luke’s laugh. Ashton hasn’t touched a drink all night yet he still feels drunk off of the way Luke’s everything clouds up his mind.

{ao3}

blinded by the colors {1k}

It’s a buzz he can feel at his fingertips and running through his veins. It’s the sparkles from the smiles and eyes and glittery faces all around him. It’s the melody being sung from the crowd against the barricade closer to the stage and the chants for the artist up next from those closer to him. It’s euphoric, he thinks, as he lets his eyes shut to let his other senses take it all in. The last minutes of sun warming his cheeks mixing in with all the sounds and smells.

i’m all butterflies (i’m sky-high for you) {1.9k}

It’s too early to be thinking like this, Ashton keeps telling himself. He can’t be thinking like this so soon. It’s asking for complete and total disaster, for running back up and checking to see if you lit the fuse on the firecracker kind of disaster. It feels terrifying but it’s the kind of feeling he’s found himself craving as of late.

Some 20 or so feet away he can Luke smiling brightly as he tells a story, his hand not holding a glass of wine waving through the air, those in the little circle around him laughing like he’s telling them the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Luke tends to do that, he can capture the heart and attention of anyone around him in seconds with his bright smile and wide blue eyes.

{ao3}

i've been dreaming about a knitted sweater for two {3.1k}

He feels Ashton relax more into his arms and the lucky and in love feeling starts flooding his mind again. Luke pulls back but lets his forehead stay pressed against Ashton’s as they giggle at each other for a moment.

“French toast time?” Ashton questions once they pause in their laughter.

“Please.”

The feeling continues to float around in his brain as he watches Ashton cut up fruit while he flips the bread on the griddle. Though really, he thinks, that feeling has probably been taking up most of his mind since the day they basically wandered into each other’s lives.

{ao3}

just take it easy (hold onto this feeling) {1.6k}

Luke had really grown to love the quiet.

{ao3}

turn it on in a new kind of bright (it’s solar) {1.3k}

Each morning and evening brought gorgeously painted skies that no artist could ever dream of replicating exactly, no camera able to draw in all the light just right. Luke is no astronomer so the science of the beauty the sun creates is lost on him. Though he thinks he’s alright with considering it somewhat magical instead.

{ao3}

i will write you kitchen songs (i'll give you all my love) {1.7k}

It’s a sweet, domestic little tune, Ashton making their morning coffee. Luke wants to play it on repeat.

{ao3}

#5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #lashton fic #malum fic #cake fic #calum hood fic #luke hemmings fic #ashton irwin fic

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newstfionline · 3 years

Text

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Employers, insurers push to make virtual visits regular care (AP) Make telemedicine your first choice for most doctor visits. That’s the message some U.S. employers and insurers are sending with a new wave of care options. Amazon and several insurers have started or expanded virtual-first care plans to get people to use telemedicine routinely, even for planned visits like annual checkups. They’re trying to make it easier for patients to connect with regular help by using remote care that grew explosively during the COVID-19 pandemic. Advocates say this can keep patients healthy and out of expensive hospitals, which makes insurers and employers that pay most of the bill happy. But some doctors worry that it might create an over-reliance on virtual visits. “There is a lot lost when there is no personal touch, at least once in a while,” said Dr. Andrew Carroll, an Arizona-based family doctor and board member of the American Academy of Family Physicians.

Landlords and renters both struggling (Washington Post) In the covid economy of 2021, the federal government has created an ongoing grace period for renters until at least July, banning all evictions in an effort to hold back a historic housing crisis that is already underway. More than 8 million rental properties across the country are behind on payments by an average of $5,600, according to census data. Nearly half of those rental properties are owned not by banks or big corporations but instead by what the government classifies as “small landlords”—people who manage their own rentals and depend on them for basic income, and who are now trapped between tenants who can’t pay and their own mounting bills for insurance, mortgages and property tax. According to government estimates, a third of small landlords are at risk of bankruptcy or foreclosure as the pandemic continues into its second year.

Pandemic baby bust unprecedented in Bay Area, California history (San Francisco Chronicle) U.S. residents are having fewer babies this year. And California’s birth rates in January and February—around the time when early pandemic babies would be due—declined by 15% compared to the same period last year, the steepest year-over-year decline for those months since at least 1960, according to a Chronicle analysis. We used data from California’s Health and Human Services department, which collects monthly birth totals per county. We found that the state’s births declined from nearly 70,000 in the first two months of 2020 to fewer than 59,000 in the same period in 2021.

Zoom Court Is Changing How Justice Is Served (The Atlantic) Last spring, as COVID‑19 infections surged for the first time, many American courts curtailed their operations. As case backlogs swelled, courts moved online, at a speed that has amazed—and sometimes alarmed—judges, prosecutors, and defense attorneys. In the past year, U.S. courts have conducted millions of hearings, depositions, arraignments, settlement conferences, and even trials—nearly entirely in civil cases or for minor criminal offenses—over Zoom and other meeting platforms. As of late February, Texas, the state that’s moved online most aggressively, had held 1.1 million remote proceedings.

Mexico City metro overpass collapses onto road; 20 dead (AP) An elevated section of the Mexico City metro collapsed and sent a subway car plunging toward a busy boulevard late Monday, killing at least 20 people and injuring about 70, city officials said. Mayor Claudia Sheinbaum said 49 of the injured were hospitalized, and that seven were in serious condition and undergoing surgery. The overpass was about 5 meters (16 feet) above the road in the southside borough of Tlahuac, but the train ran above a concrete median strip, which apparently lessened the casualties among motorists on the roadway below. “A support beam gave way,” Sheinbaum said, adding that the beam collapsed just as the train passed over it.

El Salvador’s judiciary (Foreign Policy) Lawmakers in El Salvador voted to remove five influential Supreme Court judges and the attorney general over the weekend in a move U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken has noted with “grave concern.” The motions to remove the officials passed with a supermajority in El Salvador’s legislature, now ruled by President Nayib Bukele’s New Ideas party following a sweeping victory in February’s elections. Addressing the international community on Twitter Bukele dismissed rebukes over the move. “With all due respect: We are cleaning house … and this doesn’t concern you,” Bukele said.

‘Hospitals are full’ as Argentina COVID-19 cases hit 3 million (Reuters) Argentina coronavirus cases hit 3 million on Sunday since the pandemic began, as medical workers said hospitals were full to capacity despite toughened government measures to bring down the spread of infections. The government of President Alberto Fernandez this week unveiled a new round of tougher restrictions as a second wave of infections has battered the country, filling up intensive care units and setting new daily records for cases and deaths. Marcela Cid, owner of a business on the outskirts of Buenos Aires, said that Argentines were increasingly “locked into a situation” that while necessary, was of little help to anyone trying to move beyond the pandemic.

EU proposes reopening external borders (AP) In an announcement sure to be welcomed by travelers worldwide, EU officials on Monday proposed easing restrictions on visiting the 27-nation bloc as vaccination campaigns across the continent gather speed. Travel to the European Union is currently extremely limited except for a handful of countries with low infection rates. But with the summer tourist season looming, the bloc’s European Commission hopes the new recommendations will dramatically expand that list. The Commission hopes the move will soon allow travelers reunite with their friends and relatives living in Europe and support the bloc’s economy this summer. Under the Commission’s proposal, entry would be granted to all those fully vaccinated with EU-authorized shots. Coronavirus vaccines authorized by the European Medicines Agency, the bloc’s drug regulator, include Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca and Johnson & Johnson.

Indian leader’s party takes electoral hit amid virus surge (AP) India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi suffered a resounding defeat in a key state election on Sunday, indicating his Hindu nationalist party’s political strength may be slipping as the country struggles to contain an unprecedented surge in coronavirus cases. Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) was unable to dislodge West Bengal state’s firebrand chief minister, Mamata Banerjee, after a hard-fought campaign. His party also failed to win in two southern states, Tamil Nadu and Kerala. But the BJP secured a second term in the northeastern state of Assam and an alliance with regional parties led it to victory in the union territory of Puducherry. Even before the current virus surge, Modi’s party faced stiff challenges in these local legislative elections. Following the disappointing results, Modi stands weakened but faces no threats to staying on as prime minister until his term ends in 2024.

Formal Withdrawal from Afghanistan Begins (AP) US and NATO troops stationed in Afghanistan formally began the withdrawal phase over the weekend, a process that is expected to last through the summer and officially end Sept. 11. Roughly 3,000 US troops and 7,000 coalition troops remain in the country, along with a reported 18,000 Pentagon-employed contractors. The exit has been framed as nonconditional—meaning ongoing attacks by the Taliban against the Afghan government won’t delay the withdrawal. Many have questioned the ability of the Afghan National Army to provide security against the Taliban absent international forces. Despite assurances by Afghan officials, Taliban forces have established themselves across most of the country. Afghan forces control an estimated one-third of the country’s districts, with the Taliban controlling about 10%, and nearly half—areas that include a total of roughly 14 million people—currently contested.

Chinese man crosses Taiwan Strait by rubber dinghy, seeking ‘freedom and equality’ (Washington Post) A Chinese man appeared to sail undetected through the highly militarized Taiwan Strait in a rubber dinghy, fleeing his native China for Taiwan in search of “freedom,” according to Taiwan’s Coast Guard Administration. The man, identified only by his surname, Zhou, left Shishi county in Quanzhou, a port city in Fujian province, at 10 a.m. on Friday, arriving more than 10 hours later at Taichung port on Taiwan’s western coast, Taiwan’s Coast Guard said on Monday. Officials said they were still investigating Zhou’s journey over the 100-mile stretch of sea between China and Taiwan, which is patrolled by hundreds of Chinese and Taiwanese coast guard ships and naval vessels. Coast Guard officials, relaying Zhou’s account of his journey, told reporters he had traveled in a rubber raft measuring 8.8 feet by 5 feet that he bought on the Chinese e-commerce site Taobao and fitted with an outboard motor. The incident has prompted concerns about the security of the contentious waterway at a time when military observers worry that long-standing tensions between the governments of China, Taiwan and the United States, which is committed to defending Taiwan, could boil over into military conflict.

Australia warns its citizens of jail and $50,000 fine if they return from India (Washington Post) Even in the pandemic era of closed borders, Australia’s latest travel restriction stands out: Anyone, including Australian citizens, who arrives in the country after visiting India in the previous 14 days can face up to five years in jail, a $50,000 fine or both. On Monday, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison defended the move. Australia had seen a sevenfold increase in the percentage of people traveling from India who tested positive for the coronavirus, the prime minister told Sydney’s 2GB radio station. The decision to threaten even Australian citizens with jail time if they return home from India during its record-breaking coronavirus surge is a significant escalation of border restrictions for Australia, an island nation that had already mandated strict controls at its borders throughout the pandemic.

DR Congo declares state of siege over eastern bloodshed (Reuters) Militants killed at least 19 people, including 10 soldiers, in raids on two villages in the east of Democratic Republic of Congo on Saturday, hours after President Felix Tshisekedi declared a state of siege in two provinces. A surge in attacks by armed militias and inter-communal violence in the east have killed more than 300 people since the start of the year as government troops and U.N. peacekeepers struggle to stabilize the situation. The most recent attacks took place early on Saturday when militants raided two villages in North Kivu’s regional hub of Beni, local authorities said. Tshisekedi had declared a state of siege in North Kivu and Ituri provinces on Friday.

#headlines #news

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creepingsharia · 4 years

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50% Increase in Domestic Islamic Terror Arrests and Plots in 2019

We’d argue that number is actually higher based on a review of our posts from May-December 2019, almost all sourced from the DOJ and FBI websites. That count has more than 40 arrests and indictments, and dozens more arrests, guilty pleas and sentencings related to jihad activities. See a partial list from our daily posts at the end of this post.

50 Percent Increase in Domestic Islamist Extremism Arrests and Plots in 2019

New York, May 18, 2020 … There was a 50 percent increase in arrests and plots linked to domestic Islamist extremism in 2019, according to data released today by ADL’s (Anti-Defamation League) Center on Extremism. There were a total of 30 arrests linked to domestic Islamist extremism, nine of which were for terror plots. Of the nine individuals arrested for plotting attacks, seven (78 percent) were U.S. citizens.

While there were no attacks or murders linked to domestic Islamist extremism last year, the findings indicate that Islamist extremism still poses a significant threat to the United States.

“Make no mistake: the threat of Islamist extremist activity in the United States is serious and cannot be ignored,” said ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt. “In 2019 alone we saw nine individuals arrested for planning attacks on U.S. soil and a total of 30 arrests linked to domestic Islamist extremism. We are deeply grateful for the efforts of federal and local law enforcement to investigate and disrupt these potentially dangerous attacks.”

In addition to the nine individuals arrested for plotting attacks, 21 others were arrested for engaging in domestic criminal activity motivated by Islamist extremism. Of those 21 individuals, a large majority faced charges for attempting to provide material support to ISIS. Approximately 70 percent of domestic Islamist extremist criminal activity in 2019 was inspired by ISIS, which has reportedly lost all of its territory in Iraq and Syria.

“ISIS’s ability to continue inspiring a large percentage of violent activity even after being effectively disbanded demonstrates the lasting influence of its violent ideology and propaganda on Islamist extremist activity in the United States,” said Oren Segal, Vice President for ADL’s Center on Extremism. “As long as the ideology persists and spreads online, extremists will continue to be inspired by violent rhetoric and instruction.”

While no physical attacks by domestic Islamist extremists materialized in 2019, a Saudi Arabian national attacked the Naval Air Station in Pensacola, Florida, in December, killing three people and injuring eight others. Federal authorities announced on Monday that they had uncovered evidence that the shooter, Mohammed Alshamrani, was encouraged by al-Qaeda to carry out the attack.

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Again, we’d argue the increase is greater than 50%.

Below is a sampling of posts on Creeping Sharia throughout 2019 - all sourced if searched in the archives:

Count / Details

1 Indiana: Muslim Brothers Indicted for Manufacturing Fully Automatic Rifles for Islamic State

2 Maryland: Muslim Immigrant Indicted for Attempting to Provide Material Support to Islamic State

3 New Jersey: Muslim Immigrant Indicted for Terror Activities on Behalf of Hizballah’s Islamic Jihad

4 Virginia: Known-Wolf Indicted for Attempting to Provide Material Support to ISIS

5 Alabama: Jordanian Muslim who grew up in Saudi Arabia arrested in terrorism probe

6 Arizona: Muslim arrested for jihad attack on Phoenix cop, now charged with aiding ISIS (VIDEO)

7 Arizona: Two Somali Muslim Refugees Arrested for Conspiring to Provide Material Support to ISIS

8 Arkansas: Muslim Immigrant Charged With Providing Material Support to Al Qa’ida While Overseas

9 Bronx: Bangladeshi Muslim immigrant arrested at JFK, planned to join Taliban, kill U.S. soldiers

10 California man threatens to kill First Baptist Dallas pastor ‘in the name of Allah’

11 California: Muslim arrested in planned attack on Santa Monica Pier, Long Beach rally as “retribution” for mosque attack

12 California: Somali Muslim Refugee Who Tried to Run Down Jews at Synagogue Charged with Attempted Murder

13 Chicago: Gang leader arrested for sending money to Islamic State (ISIS)

14 Chicago: Muslim Student at DePaul Univ. Charged with Attempting to Support Islamic State (ISIS)

15 Connecticut: Man Charged with Attempting to Provide Material Support to ISIS

16 Connecticut: Muslim Arrested After Attempting to Travel to Middle East to Join and Fight for ISIS

17 Florida: Muslim Arrested for Plotting Jihad Bombings Against College Deans

18 Florida: Muslim tries to slash Walmart employee, yells threats in Arabic

19 Florida: Suspect sent bomb threats to judges 'for cause of Islamic State'

Former San Diego Resident Jehad Mostafa Charged with Providing Material Support to Islamic Terror Org al-Shabaab

Georgia: Muslim arrested for plotting IED, anti-tank rocket attacks on White House and other D.C. buildings

Georgia: Muslim Woman Arrested For Conspiring To Provide Material Support To ISIS

Illinois: Muslim Arrested for Threatening to Bomb Aurora Casino for Allah

Maryland: Muslim arrested after using car to strike and injure woman; kill woman in Virginia

Miami: Muslim mechanic who sabotaged American Airlines plane accused of spreading ISIS propaganda videos 26

Michigan: 3 Muslim immigrants arrested for plan to join Islamic State (ISIS)

Michigan: Dearborn Muslim charged with receiving terror training from ISIS

Montana: Albanian Muslim immigrant who discussed US attack arrested at gun range

New Jersey: Man who funded Hamas, spoke of bombing Trump Tower, attacking Israeli Consulate is arrested

New Mexico: Muslims who ran Islamic compound charged with planning terror attacks in the U.S.

New York: Bangladeshi Muslim immigrant arrested in Times Square terror plot

New York: Brooklyn Man Arrested - Encouraged ISIS Supporters to Attack NYC Subway System

New York: Pakistani Muslim immigrant in Queens plotted jihad attacks at World’s Fair Marina and Flushing Bay Promenade

North Carolina: Jordanian Muslim who tried to access Fort Bragg special ops facility faces 7 charges, deportation

North Carolina: Pakistani Muslim immigrant arrested after lying about contacts with terror organizations

North Carolina: Woman intentionally runs over, kills 79-year old woman, tries to hit 4 others

North Dakota: Somali Woman Charged With Terrorizing Neighborhood Was Previously Tied to Human Sex Trafficking Case

NYC: Muslim shouting “Allah Akbar” shoves NYT illustrator onto subway tracks

Ohio: Muslim indicted for Fourth of July al-Qaida car bomb plot in downtown Cleveland

Pittsburgh: Syrian Muslim Refugee Arrested for Planning Jihad Attack on Christian Church

Saudi student at University of New Mexico charged with illegally possessing gun; had hit list of people he wanted to kill before leaving the U.S.

Texas: Defendant Returned to Dallas After Being Detained by the Syrian Democratic Forces

Texas: Foreign Muslim recruited at least 5 inmates to join ISIS and wage jihad in the U.S. after their release

Texas: Muslim Charged with Conspiring to Provide Material Support to ISIS

Texas: Muslim convert who tried to become English teacher for ISIS indicted

Two American jihadis captured fighting for ISIS in Syria, militia says

Virginia: Somali Muslim FBI translator charged after his own voice was intercepted on terror surveillance calls

That’s just the first 40+ we found.

#Islam #Jihad #Muslim #Sharia #News #Legal #Politics #Immigration #Mosque #Media #Terror

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why-ask-why · 4 years

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September 11th, 2019

Today the event that defined the United States’ foreign policy in the 21st century, and heralded the destruction of whole countries, turns 18.

The events of September 11, 2001 remains etched into the memories of Americans and many others, as a collective tragedy that brought Americans together and brought as well a general resolve among them that those responsible be brought to justice.

While the events of that day did unite Americans in these ways for a time, the different trajectories of the official relative to the independent investigations into the September 11 attacks have often led to division in the years since 2001, with vicious attacks or outright dismissal being levied against the latter.

Yet, with 18 years having come and gone — and with the tireless efforts from victims’ families, first responders, scientists and engineers — the tide appears to be turning, as new evidence continues to emerge and calls for new investigations are made.

However, American corporate media has remained largely silent, preferring to ignore new developments that could derail the “official story” of one of the most iconic and devastating attacks to ever occur on American soil.

For instance, in late July, commissioners for a New York-area Fire Department, which responded to the attacks and lost one of their own that day, called for a new investigation into the events of September 11.

On July 24, the board of commissioners for the Franklin Square and Munson Fire District, which serves a population of around 30,000 near Queens, voted unanimously in their call for a new investigation into the attacks.

While the call for a new investigation from a NY Fire Department involved in the rescue effort would normally seem newsworthy to the media outlets who often rally Americans to “never forget”, the commissioners’ call for a new investigation was met with total silence from the mainstream media.

The likely reason for the dearth of coverage on an otherwise newsworthy vote was likely due to the fact that the resolution that called for the new investigation contained the following clause:

Whereas, the overwhelming evidence presented in said petition demonstrates beyond any doubt that pre-planted explosives and/or incendiaries — not just airplanes and the ensuing fires — caused the destruction of the three World Trade Center buildings, killing the vast majority of the victims who perished that day;”

In the post-9/11 world, those who have made such claims, no matter how well-grounded their claims may be, have often been derided and attacked as “conspiracy theorists” for questioning the official claims that the three World Trade Center buildings that collapsed on September 11 did so for any reason other than being struck by planes and from the resulting fires.

Yet, it is much more difficult to launch these same attacks against members of a fire department that lost a fireman on September 11 and many of whose members were involved with the rescue efforts of that day, some of whom still suffer from chronic illnesses as a result.

Rescue workers climb on piles of rubble at the World Trade Center in New York, Sept. 13, 2001. Beth A. Keiser | AP

Another likely reason that the media monolithically avoided coverage of the vote was out of concern that it would lead more fire departments to pass similar resolutions, which would make it more difficult for such news to avoid gaining national coverage.

Yet, Commissioner Christopher Gioia, who drafted and introduced the resolution, told those present at the meeting’s conclusion that getting all of the New York fire districts onboard was their plan anyway.

“We’re a tight-knit community and we never forget our fallen brothers and sisters. You better believe that when the entire fire service of New York State is on board, we will be an unstoppable force,” Gioia said.

“We were the first fire district to pass this resolution. We won’t be the last,” he added.

While questioning the official conclusions of the first federal investigation into 9/11 has been treated as taboo in the American media landscape for years, it is worth noting that even those who led the commission have said that the investigation was “set up to fail” from the start and that they were repeatedly misled and lied to by federal officials in relation to the events of that day.

For instance, the chair and vice-chair of the 9/11 Commission, Thomas Kean and Lee Hamilton, wrote in their book Without Precedent that not only was the commission starved of funds and its powers of investigation oddly limited, but that they were obstructed and outright lied to by top Pentagon officials and officials with the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA).

They and other commissioners have outright said that the “official” report on the attacks is incomplete, flawed and unable to answer key questions about the terror attacks.

Despite the failure of American corporate media to report these facts, local legislative bodies in New York, beginning with the fire districts that lost loved ones and friends that day, are leading the way in the search for real answers that even those that wrote the “official story” say were deliberately kept from them.

Persuasive scientific evidence continues to roll in

Not long after the Franklin Square and Munson Fire District called for a new 9/11 investigation, a groundbreaking university study added even more weight to the commissioners’ call for a new look at the evidence regarding the collapse of three buildings at the World Trade Center complex.

While most Americans know full well that the twin towers collapsed on September 11, fewer are aware that a third building — World Trade Center Building 7 — also collapsed.

That collapse occurred seven hours after the twin towers came down, even though WTC 7, or “Building 7,” was never struck by a plane.

It was not until nearly two months after its collapse that reports revealed that the CIA had a “secret office” in WTC 7 and that, after the building’s destruction, “a special CIA team scoured the rubble in search of secret documents and intelligence reports stored in the station, either on paper or in computers.”

WTC 7 also housed offices for the Department of Defense, the Secret Service, the New York Mayor’s Office of Emergency Management and the bank Salomon Brothers.

Though the official story regarding the collapse of WTC 7 cites “uncontrolled building fires” as leading to the building’s destruction, a majority of Americans who have seen the footage of the 47-story tower come down from four different angles overwhelmingly reject the official story, based on a new poll conducted by YouGov on behalf of Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth and released on Monday.

Source | Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth

That poll found that 52 percent of those who saw the footage were either sure or suspected that the building’s fall was due to explosives and was a controlled demolition, with 27 percent saying they didn’t know what to make of the footage.

Only 21 percent of those polled agreed with the official story that the building collapsed due to fires alone.

Prior to seeing the footage, 36 percent of respondents said that they were unaware that a third building collapsed on September 11 and more than 67 percent were unable to name the building that had collapsed.

Ted Walter, Director of Strategy and Development for Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth, told MintPress that the lack of awareness about WTC 7 among the general public “goes to show that the mainstream media has completely failed to inform the American people about even the most basic facts related to 9/11.

On any other day in history, if a 47-story skyscraper fell into its footprint due to ‘office fires,’ everyone in the country would have heard about it.”

The fact that the media chose not to cover this, Walter asserted, shows that “the mainstream media and the political establishment live in an alternative universe and the rest of the American public is living in a different universe and responding to what they see in front of them,” as reflected by the results of the recent YouGov poll.

Another significant finding of the YouGov poll was that 48 percent of respondents supported, while only 15 percent opposed, a new investigation into the events of September 11.

This shows that not only was the Franklin Square Fire District’s recent call for a new investigation in line with American public opinion, but that viewing the footage of WTC 7’s collapse raises more questions than answers for many Americans, questions that were not adequately addressed by the official investigation of the 9/11 Commission.

The Americans who felt that the video footage of WTC 7’s collapse did not fit with the official narrative and appeared to show a controlled demolition now have more scientific evidence to fall back on after the release of a new university study found that the building came down not due to fire but from “the near-simultaneous failure of every column in the building.”

The extensive four-year study was conducted by the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of Alaska and used complex computer models to determine if the building really was the first steel-framed high-rise ever to have collapsed solely due to office fires.

The study, currently available as a draft, concluded that “uncontrolled building fires” did not lead the building to fall into its footprint — tumbling more than 100 feet at the rate of gravity free-fall for 2.5 seconds of its seven-second collapse — as has officially been claimed.

Instead, the study — authored by Dr. J. Leroy Hulsey, Dr. Feng Xiao and Dr. Zhili Quan — found that “fire did not cause the collapse of WTC 7 on 9/11, contrary to the conclusions of NIST [National Institute of Standards and Technology] and private engineering firms that studied the collapse,” while also concluding “that the collapse of WTC 7 was a global [i.e., comprehensive] failure involving the near-simultaneous failure of every column in the building.”

This “near-simultaneous failure of every column” in WTC 7 strongly suggests that explosives were involved in its collapse, which is further supported by the statements made by Barry Jennings, the then-Deputy Director of Emergency Services Department for the New York City Housing Authority.

Jennings told a reporter the day of the attack that he and Michael Hess, then-Corporation Counsel for New York City, had heard and seen explosions in WTC 7 several hours prior to its collapse and later repeated those claims to filmmaker Dylan Avery.

The first responders who helped rescue Jennings and Hess also claimed to have heard explosions in WTC 7.

Jennings died in 2008, two days prior the release of the official NIST report blaming WTC 7’s collapse on fires.

To date, no official cause of death for Jennings has been given.

Still “crazy” after all these years?

Eighteen years after the September 11 attacks, questioning the official government narrative of the events of those days still remains taboo for many, as merely asking questions or calling for a new investigation into one of the most important events in recent American history frequently results in derision and dismissal.

Yet, this 9/11 anniversary — with a new study demolishing the official narrative on WTC 7, with a new poll showing that more than half of Americans doubt the government narrative on WTC 7, and with firefighters who responded to 9/11 calling for a new investigation — is it still “crazy” to be skeptical of the official story?

Firefighters hose down the smoldering remains of 7 World Trade Center Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2001, in New York. Ryan Remiorz | AP

Even in years past, when asking difficult questions about September 11 was even more “off limits,” it was often first responders, survivors and victims’ families who had asked the most questions about what had really transpired that day and who have led the search for truth for nearly two decades — not wild-eyed “conspiracy theorists,” as many have claimed.

The only reason it remains taboo to ask questions about the official narrative, whose own authors admit that it is both flawed and incomplete, is that the dominant forces in the American media and the U.S. government have successfully convinced many Americans that doing so is not only dangerous but irrational and un-American.

However, as evidence continues to mount that the official narrative itself is the irrational narrative, it becomes ever more clear that the reason for this media campaign is to prevent legitimate questions about that day from receiving the scrutiny they deserve, even smearing victims’ families and ailing first responders to do so.

For too long, “Never Forget” has been nearly synonymous with “Never Question.”

Yet, failing to ask those questions — even when more Americans than ever now favor a new investigation and discount the official explanation for WTC 7’s collapse — is the ultimate injustice, not only to those who died in New York City on September 11, but those who have been killed in their names in the years that have followed.

#911 was an inside job #911 truth #bush did 9/11 #neverforget911 #question authority

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theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

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I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

#blog #blogging #blogger #blogpost #blog post #writing #books #book #reading #read #write #writer #author #draft #first draft #story #writing blog #writerblr #bookblr #novel #debut

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whiskynottea · 5 years

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An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57, Chapter 58, Chapter 59

AO3

(long) A/N: This story was born as a result of my procrastination. I wrote the first chapter instead of working on the paper for my PhD, an evening I was alone in the lab. I couldn’t resist, because I could see Jamie right there in front of me, teasing Claire in the class. Now, a year and a half later, I have finished writing my paper and my PhD thesis, got my PhD and I prepare for the next stage of my life. I guess what I want to say is… It has been a journey.

I posted the first chapter as a one-shot and your feedback made me go on. Back then I knew the beginning and the end of this story and thought it would be about 20 chapters long. Well, these two kids had other plans. They had so much to do in between, to live together, that the story kept becoming longer and longer. And I loved it. I loved writing them. I really, really did.

When I was a few chapters in, I posted something about English not being my native language (as if that wasn’t obvious -- I had just started writing in English). The amazing @theministerskat saw that post and sent me a dm offering to beta Thermo. She was the first person I talked to on Tumblr and has stayed with me since then, correcting approximately 124,472,539 wrong prepositions in the process. Kat, I hope you haven’t regretted that dm. I can’t thank you enough. Love you.

So, here we are. The last chapter! Thank you all for the love you have shown to this story. Thank you for your reblogs, comments and likes. Thank you for your messages. Thank you for being a part of this journey! You’re amazing.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 60. An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics

Oxmas.

A little Christmas bubble in Oxford before the end of the term, created for the students to celebrate the holiday together. Even if it had to be a month early.

Music, colourful Christmas markets, trees going up on the streets -- even at the centre of the old Bodleian court. I could never have imagined the Bodleian court looking more beautiful, but apparently, everything looks better with a Christmas tree.

My legs were hurting from the midnight ice-skating Malva, Mary, and Maisri had dragged me to. The three M’s of my Catastrophe, as I called them. But it was fun. A lot of fun. So much fun that I had forgotten myself for a while and laughed with all my heart.

Then I’d remembered that I would never tell him how great midnight ice-skating with friends was.

Him. Sometimes it was difficult even to think of his name, let alone say it.

But life was going on and I was still at Oxford, with friends and our magical Christmas campus. Thinking about how terrible the holiday would be back at home, I decided that I owed it to myself to have a little bit of fun here.

I didn’t want to think about the end of the term. I was supposed to go to the US and then to Lallybroch with Jamie. Lamb wouldn't be in Edinburgh, because when I announced my initial plans he’d decided that he wouldn’t fly back. He was at a critical point in his research, he’d said.

Back then, it was fine. Lamb was happy and he’d eased my guilt for leaving him alone in a single phone call.

It was the reason I still hadn't told Lamb about Jamie. I didn’t want him to come back because his little niece couldn’t handle a break-up. And now, once the term was over, I would spend a month in Edinburgh alone, most probably studying for the next term. The ideal Christmas break. Just awesome.

“You’re still in your pyjamas?” Malva’s eyebrows shot up the moment she entered my dorm room.

“Yes?” I asked confused, as I watched her walking towards me, shaking her head.

“Today is the event at Bodleian’s Old Schools Quad, remember? The one with the projections of maps on the buildings? You said you wanted to go!”

I had said that, but then I forgot about it. It would be amazing, seeing the maps from the Bodleian Library collection projected onto the library’s historic buildings. I shot Malva an apologetic glance and got out of bed. “Give me ten minutes?” I implored, and headed towards my closet.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” she said, before I heard the door click shut.

I wore my favourite pair of jeans and a soft, warm sweater. Boots. A woollen scarf and a beanie, that meant I didn’t have to put any effort into taming my unruly curls. In less than ten minutes, I joined Malva and Mary who were giggling at something next to the front door.

“What?” I asked, walking towards the entrance.

“Well, our little shy daisy here has something to tell you, Claire.”

My eyes shot from Malva’s teasing smile to Mary’s blushing cheeks. “Oh my God! What?”

“It’s nothing!” Mary exclaimed, much louder than normal. Startling herself with her raised voice, her next words came out in a whisper. “It’s nothing, nothing. I’ve only met him once.”

“Him? Who?” I inquired with a grin on my face.

“Alex,” Malva replied instead of Mary, batting her eyelashes and faking a swoon.

“Who is Alex, Mary?”

“This guy,” Mary murmured. “I dropped my scarf last night and he picked it up and gave it back to me. He was so kind, and he smiled…”

“And?” I pushed her, but Mary had hardly heard me, lost in her reverie.

“We were walking in the same direction,” she continued, her voice dreamy. “And we talked, and I don’t know how, but I didn’t stutter at all. He had the most beautiful eyes, and he’s a fresher too.”

“Which college?” Malva asked, chewing her lip. “We should pay him a visit!”

“Nnn-o, no, no.” Mary faltered. “And I don’t know that, anyway. An older guy materialized next to us all of a sudden and told him they had to go. Alex looked at me and said --”

“Till next time,” Malva spoke, imitating a man’s low voice.

“Yes, but not like that, you know,” Mary corrected, smiling and blushing even more. “But he doesn’t have my number and I-- I don’t know how…”

“Come on.” I linked her elbow with mine. “He might be there tonight.”

I was sure Mary hadn’t seen a single projection all night, her eyes scanning the crowd for him, for Alex. It was sweet and honest, and it made my heart hurt. So I focused my attention on the lights dancing on the hundred year old walls. The old and the new, in perfect conjunction. With my eyes on the Old School Quad buildings, I didn’t notice another him until he was standing right next to me.

“That interested in maps, are you?” Robert’s French accent stood out from the British ones around us. I hadn’t seen him since that night at the bar, three days before. We had agreed to go out for drinks again, the way people always do when they say goodbye because they feel like they have to. He had my number and I had his from when we were back in Zambia, but, as expected, neither of us had called.

“It’s enchanting, isn’t it?” I asked in a light voice as I moved my eyes over another projection.

He made a low, affirmative sound, but when I turned my head towards him, he was already looking at me again. “So, how do you find your first Oxmas?”

Robert shrugged. “It’s weird, isn’t it? The term hasn’t finished and I still have to work on an essay for the 26th, but everyone is so cheery. And you know, the trees, the lights…”

“They create a totally different atmosphere,” I finished his thought. “It will be weird when it’s over, going back to the pre-Christmas mood.”

“Definitely,” he agreed. “But I like it.”

“Well, celebrating Christmas twice can’t be bad.”

His eyes changed for a moment, and his mouth became a hard line. Before I had the chance to say something, he smiled.

“Christmas is not my favourite time of the year,” he explained softly.

I was ready to ask how that could be, but I stopped myself in time. His mother. Maybe Christmas brought back memories of family traditions, and his mother was an inextricable part of this time for him. As Ellen had been for Jamie. I wondered whether not having so many memories from my parents was beneficial from time to time. But then, I would give my soul for a few more moments with them.

I took a step towards Robert and squeezed his arm in solidarity. Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need to.

At some point, Malva disappeared and a bit later I felt someone pinching my arm.

“Ouch!” I turned to look at Mary. “What?” She was blushing again, and when I looked next to her, I saw a skinny guy with brown hair and the sweetest smile who was blushing too.

“I didn’t find him, but he found me,” Mary whispered to me, her eyes shining with happiness. “Do you mind if we leave?”

I bit my lip to stop the smile from growing wider on my face. “No, of course not. Good luck!” I watched them until they disappeared into the crowd.

I spent the rest of the night standing next to Robert, admiring the projections, enjoying the comfortable silence between us, and letting the colours of light sneak into my heart.

“So, what’s the plan now?” he asked once the event was over. He looked around, searching for something. Or someone. “It seems that my friends ditched me,” he observed a moment later.

I snorted. “Yeah, mine too. Not big fans of maps, it seems.”

“Booze sounds better,” he commented.

“Does it?” I wondered.

“Oui. Join me for a pint?” Robert winked at me, then looked nonchalantly at the people leaving the library.

“You know that once I take the beanie off, a jungle of curls will be waiting underneath it?” I half-joked, half-prepared him for what he would see.

Robert laughed, then looked at my beanie as if I was hiding a little monster underneath it.

“You’re right,” he grimaced after a long moment of examination. “We better just walk around.”

His grimace became sincere when he felt my blow to his arm. “You’re an arse,” I added, for good measure.

“I think I’ve heard that one before,” he laughed, rubbing his arm. “That hurt,” he grumbled. “You’re paying for the drinks.”

“Fine! But no hair jokes for the rest of the night!”

“Deal!” he said, tugging on a curl, stretching it out and watching it spring back.

We went to a crowded pub, sat at the only available table in a corner, but Robert didn’t let me pay for the drinks. We talked about life in Oxford, the medical school and his courses on economics, and I tried hard to keep Jamie out of my mind, not to break down just because Robert had some common classes with him. Robert talked about his father’s business in France, and listened to my stories from my travels with Lamb. When we left, he announced that he would walk me back to my dorm, because it was late and he was a gentleman. Ignoring my snort at his description of himself, we started walking towards the dorms of Lady Margaret’s Hall.

It was much quieter now that the events were over, but students were still walking around, laughing, flirting, and giggling. The night was beautiful, and a few stars hung in the clear sky. I took a deep breath and tried to empty my head from all thoughts of my heartbreak. I had fun tonight, and I was allowed to. I was entitled to it.

When we arrived at my dorm, I turned to say goodnight only to find Robert’s face a few inches away from mine. My heart stopped when I felt his hot breath and smelled the peppermint in it, from drops he’d bought from a stall at the Christmas market. I held my breath in turn, knowing that it smelled exactly the same. I had eaten half his peppermint drops on our way back to my dorm.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Before I had time to think, Robert tilted his head closer to me, and the next moment he brushed his lips against mine. It was gentle. A start. An invitation for more.

And I freaked out.

I took a hurried step back, raising a hand to my lips and looking at him through wide eyes.

Robert frowned at me, then took a step back, too. “You’re single, aren’t you?” he implored, perplexed.

“How?” I asked, not wanting to affirm his notion.

“How did I know?”

I nodded.

“You haven’t mentioned him once tonight or the other night at the bar, you’re not constantly on your phone texting him and you didn’t send him a picture from the event. Even though you loved it. It wasn’t so hard to figure out,” he concluded and shrugged, his gaze falling on my lips again.

“I guess I’m quite easy to read,” I murmured and heard him chuckle.

“I like that.”

I nodded again, not knowing what to say. The truth. I had to tell him the truth. I was never good at lies, anyway.

“Robert,” I started and his green eyes locked with mine. He was one of those people who didn’t even have to try to look good. Robert was the definition of a handsome man. But that didn’t matter at all. I took a deep breath and continued. “You’re not wrong. Jamie and I, we…” I swallowed, cursing myself for stumbling. “We broke up. But I’m not ready, and I don’t want to move on before I am. It wouldn’t be fair, to either of us.”

Robert nodded and raised his chin, in defeat or acceptance I wasn’t sure, but kept his eyes low on the ground. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, wanting him to look at me again. “I’m still in love with him.”

At that comment, Robert looked at me and gave me a wistful smile. He took a step towards me again and placed a warm, gentle hand on my cheek. His thumb caressed my cheekbone as he murmured something in French, so low that I wasn’t able to catch it. “You’re a good one, Claire,” he said, at last.

“I don’t know about that,” I disagreed.

“I do,” he insisted, then took a step back and turned to leave. I stayed rooted in place. He had only taken two steps away before he turned back again, grinned at me, and said, “See you around, Miss Bennet.”

As I walked up to my room, I wondered whether he was a good one. If I had made a huge mistake by stopping him, by not kissing him back. He was beautiful, smart and witty, even if he was a little bit more cocky and authoritative than I would like.

And yet, kissing him now didn’t feel right.

Robert had a wonderful French accent, and all I wanted to hear was Jamie’s heavy Scottish one.

I fell onto my bed, hating Jamie for ruining my Oxmas, my chances for a future, my life. Hating myself for loving him so much.

Mary came back from her date after midnight. Alex had kissed her and her exhilaration permeated the thick layer of unhappiness that surrounded me. I was happy for her. I was glad she had found someone who was so like her, who could understand her, and care for her. Who didn’t mind if she was shy or stuttered, and saw the lovely person she was.

By the time Mary fell asleep, I couldn’t find it in me to be upset anymore. But I couldn’t force myself to be happy either. I slipped into my semi-depressed state with ease, and when I realized sleep wasn’t a choice anymore, I put on my thickest winter coat and headed out to the gardens.

I don’t know how long I sat by the river, crying, while trying to stop my stupid heart from suffocating me. At last, I lay down on the cold grass, closed my eyes and wondered what kind of an idiot I would be if I ended up with pneumonia. Maybe that would be enough of a shock to delete Jamie from my mind.

Maybe.

I woke up with the dawn overtaking the night sky and a hand holding mine. My heart began beating faster and faster, and I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out what to do. This wasn’t a woman’s hand. It wasn’t Mary’s, or Malva’s. It was a big, warm, male hand that seemed strangely familiar. But who was I to be sure about the familiarity of hands? I resolved to leap to my feet, take a look at the person lying beside me, and if I didn’t know him, run back to my dorm as fast as I could.

But then he spoke. And his voice was a balm that soothed reality away.

“If I lay here, if I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?”

My heart stopped and I felt my eyes grow abnormally wide as I opened them again. I tried to breathe, but I couldn’t. I tried to react, to turn and look at him, but I was afraid that he was just a dream and the moment I turned he would dissolve into thin air. He had spoken to me in my dreams before. He had never been there when I had woken up.

“But you’ve never touched me,” I croaked with effort.

“What?” His whisper was barely audible. Tentative.

“You’ve never touched me in my dreams before.”

A chuckle. “Yeah, bummer.” His voice quivered and a shiver ran down my spine. “I couldn’t touch you in my dreams either, Sassenach, and I decided to do something about it.”

My whole body tensed.

The gall of him.

I sat up so quickly the world tilted on its axis for a few seconds. When I found my bearings again, I slowly turned to look at him.

God, he was beautiful. Those red curls, the bright blue eyes, the wide mouth. I suddenly realized why I couldn’t kiss Robert. His soft brown locks, his shining green eyes, his full lips -- they were all wrong. Perfect, but wrong.

A small smile curled Jamie’s lips and I realized he was drinking me in too.

And then it hit me. The hurt, the desperation, the anger.

“What are you doing here.” It wasn’t a question. It was an interrogation. I set my jaw, resolute to be rigid, determined not to cry.

“I had to see you,” he said in a low voice and moved to take my hand. I snatched it away from him.

“Why? Are you trying to establish a new tradition? Do we have to see each other once a month now that we’re not together?”

“Twenty-six days,” he countered.

“What?” I asked incredulously.

“It’s been twenty-six days since that night.”

That night. I knew exactly how many days it had been. A part of me had died over the course of each one of those days. I kept my hard gaze on Jamie for a long moment, then stood up. “Well, you saw me. Now, goodbye, Jamie.”

“Claire!” he yelled, alarmed, as he sprang up and rushed to me. “Wait.” He towered over me and grabbed my arm, afraid I would leave if he didn’t have a proper hold on me. I didn’t know if he was wrong about that. I wanted to get away, far away from him. Even looking at him hurt. “Please, Sassenach.”

“What do you want?” Ice infused my tone.

“I need to talk to you.”

I didn’t want to listen to him, and yet, I wished for him to tell me everything. I wanted to know his heart, his thoughts. I needed answers, so many answers, but just looking at him and knowing he had decided he didn’t want to be mine was stealing my breath. He was here, but he wasn’t my Jamie anymore.

I took a step to leave and heard him gasp, as if I had shot him. I froze in place, balling my hands into fists.

I was fighting with myself, struggling to find what I wanted, and how much more pain I could handle. I closed my eyes, trying to set my feelings in order before they could choke me.

I felt like I was four again, standing in the aisle with the chocolate bars at the grocery store and trying to choose one. It was one of the few memories I had with my dad, shopping together. I will never forget how I had stared and stared at the chocolates, licking my lips as if I were imagining their taste on my tongue, trying to decide which one I should put in our cart. And then, surprising myself, I had suddenly started crying. Soon my silent tears turned into wailing, bringing my dad’s attention back to me.

“What's wrong, Claire?” he had asked, eyebrows scrunched in a frown.

But I couldn't answer his question. I hadn’t known what was wrong. I only knew that I wanted to do what he had asked and choose only one chocolate, but I also wanted to buy all of them. And I felt tired, too tired to decide. I only wanted my mum, because mum would know which chocolate was the best. So I kept crying, and crying, until my breath came in gasps, and my dad's face was blurry in front of me.

He had held my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, then, his big hand drawing circles on my back to soothe me.

“In here,” he had said afterwards, tapping lightly on my chest, “Snuggle our feelings. And they are so many, sweetheart, that sometimes they don't talk to each other and try to get out of our chest all at once. And we start crying, because we are confused and we don't know how to feel. I want you to take a deep breath, stop crying, and tell me what's wrong.”

And with my father squatting in front of me, his hands tucking errand curls behind my ears, I had told him that I didn't know what I wanted.

I felt the same now, only that I was not four anymore, and I couldn’t throw a fit. Jamie was here, standing in front of me, looking me through pleading eyes, and he was all the chocolates. And yet, I couldn't have him. I couldn't trust him, not anymore, but I didn't want to leave either. I couldn't.

So I inhaled. Exhaled. In and out, again and again, following my dad’s advice. My coat was soaked from lying on the grass for so many hours, and my hands felt like ice cubes. And I decided to listen to him.

“Let’s go find a bench. My arse is freezing.”

I started walking and heard him falling in step behind me, undoing the zipper of his insulated jacket. “Here,” he offered, catching up with me in two wide strides.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I dismissed him, keeping my chin high.

“Please, Sassenach.”

“Don’t call me that!” I hissed, breathing hard. He had decided that I was not his Sassenach before he made that video call. I was plain Claire to him now, and he had better deal with it.

“Please, Claire,” he repeated, rectifying his slip.

I took his jacket begrudgingly and wore it. It was dry and warm, and it smelled like him.

Dammit.

Two minutes later we were sitting on a bench, watching the sky changing from a deep blue to a lighter one. It was beautiful. This would be one of my favourite moments with him if his surprise had happened a month ago. Now, however, I could feel the bitter taste of these twenty-six days in my throat every time I swallowed.

“I’ll hear you.”

“Can I hold yer hands, please?”

“No.” My voice was colder than my hands as I shoved them into his jacket pockets.

Jamie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. It was such a simple gesture and so him, that I felt my heart clench inside my chest. “I miss ye, Claire,” he whispered. “Every moment, every day.”

I resolved not to talk until he was done, and to keep any tears at bay. I would not cry. I would not.

“I miss ye when I wake up and I don’t find yer text on my phone. I miss ye when the guys do something funny and I can’t text you to laugh with you about it. I miss ye when I finish training and I can’t call ye to see how ye’re doing. I miss ye when I go back to the dorm and canna talk to ye about my day. I wake up every day, knowing that no matter what happens I willna be happy, Claire... I canna think of myself without ye.”

Fuck my resolution. I had to speak.

“You didn’t seem to have any problem with that, twenty-six days ago,” I deadpanned.

“I was a fool.” Jamie’s voice trembled. “I thought… I thought breaking up would be hard, but we’d get over it and then everything would be easier for both of us. I could see ye struggling here, and I couldna even hug you when ye needed me, when ye were tired from long hours in the library. Ye couldna come to my races or be there to calm me down when I was stressed. Another guy in the team broke up with his girlfriend who lived in another State and he got over it, eventually. And we arena in different States, Claire. We live on different continents,” he explained as if that detail had eluded me. “I felt torn all the time, between ye and my life in the US. I ken that I was the one who changed our plans, I was the one who went to Michigan--”

“I never said anything about our plans. I never complained, and I supported your decision from the very first moment. I was the one who told you to go. That is not why we broke up. We broke up because you stopped believing in us. Because you wanted somebody who would be closer to you.”

“No!” he protested, his gaze bore into mine with insistence and flame. “No, not somebody. Not anybody. I wanted ye to be close to me, and I thought that if we were in a long-distance relationship for years the pain of not seeing each other would become too much, until we couldna take it anymore. Or what we had would become less. I thought that we would gradually fall apart, and I didna want that. I thought that we didna have any other option, Sassenach. Every time that ye missed one of my calls, or I missed yers, I became more sure of it. Then I thought…” he trailed off.

“What? What else did you think, Jamie?” I prompted, impatient. He was a mess but I didn’t feel merciful in that moment to go soft on him. Not after everything I had been through.

“I thought if we were destined to be together, maybe we would find each other again once ended up in the same country. But now I know, Claire. I dinna want to find ye again after how ever many years, and realize that ye don’t want to be mine anymore. That there is a big part of yer life that I know nothing about. I dinna want to miss yer first day in the OR, or yer graduation. I dinna want to miss yer smiles after yer tutorials, even if I can only see them through a screen. I dinna ken what I was thinking when I believed I could do it without you, but I can’t. I can’t and I don’t want to be without you.”

I huffed, partly because I didn’t want to let his words have an impact on me. “Twenty-six days. Took you long enough.”

“I tried, at first. I tried to go on, to tuck you into a corner of my heart and keep living. But I couldn’t, Sassenach, because all of my heart was yers. I could have come to find you after those first few days. And maybe I should have, but I didna, because I wanted to be sure. But no matter how hard I tried, living without ye didna become easier. It became harder. I kent how I was with ye, and now I ken how it is to live without ye. It sucks, Claire. I’m miserable without ye. All I could think of this past month--”

“Twenty-six days,” I interrupted him.

He smiled, shaking his head. “I love ye. A Dhia, I love ye so much it hurts. Twenty-six days. All I could think of was ye, Sassenach. How I wanted to share everything with ye. How I needed to ken where ye are, what ye’re doing, and how ye feel. I missed ye with every breath I took. And now I ken that I canna go on without ye.”

I’d resolved not to cry, but treacherous tears were rolling down my cheeks without asking for my permission.

“And how do I know that you won’t change your mind again? How can I trust you again, Jamie?” My question found its target in his heart, and I saw his sharp intake of breath from the impact. “You broke my heart,” I whispered, as an explanation. “You broke me.”

He looked down for a moment, but quickly locked his eyes on mine again. “I fucked up. I know I did. Forgive, mo nighean donn. Forgive me, please.” He paused for a moment, and extended his hand between us, palm facing up. He didn’t remove it when I didn’t move to take it, and he continued. “All I’m asking for is another chance. One chance, Sassenach. If ye’re not ready, if ye need time, I can wait. I will wait for as long as it takes.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think time would change how I felt. I loved him, I knew I did. But he had given up on us, yielding to his fears. He didn’t believe we would make it through all the years of our separation. He had chosen a life without me and broke me in the process.

Well, and he regretted it. It was clear that he did. I could see it as much in the pain in his eyes as I could hear it in his voice when he spoke.

I watched Jamie’s chest rising and falling with every breath he took while he waited for me to say something. His hair was a mess from all the times he had run his hand through it. I wanted to fix it, and then run my fingers over his cheekbones, over the curve of his lips. And yet, I was frozen in my place. Not even to take his hand that lay on the bench between us.

“How can we ever be the same again?” I asked, unsure. I started caving in, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“I dinna want us to be the same. D’ye remember the first time I talked to ye?” he asked with a timid smile. “In Mrs. Fitz’s class, ye were keeping notes on the first law of thermodynamics.”

I didn’t know where he was going with that, but I stayed silent and let him go on.

“The conservation of energy. Nothing is lost, Sassenach; only changed. And I don’t care if we change, as long as we change together. This… Me without ye… It was an interruption in the first law of thermodynamics. Because I was lost. And that’s against the laws of physics.”

I laughed. This was ridiculous. Jamie blushed, and then laughed with me.

“I ken what I want now, Claire. I want ye. I want us. And I will fight for us, if ye let me, because what we had -- what we have -- it’s true. It’s truer than anything I will ever get. It’s more than I could ever ask for.”

I kept my eyes on the river, the grass, the sky. I felt my heart beating faster in response to his words, as if each time he spoke he glued another of its broken parts back in place.

“All I’m asking for, is a chance,” Jamie implored. “A chance to prove myself to ye, mo ghraidh.”

“A chance,” I murmured, trying to sort the tangle of emotions in my chest.

He came closer, now brave enough to take my hands out of my pockets and wrap them in his. “I know ye and ye know me. Ye’re the only person in the world that really knows me. Ye’re my heart and my soul Claire, and I canna leave without them, can I?” Without taking his eyes from me, he leaned into me and kissed me gently on the lips.

And damn him, it felt right. But I didn’t kiss him back. I had more to say.

“You didn’t talk to me.” I kept my voice calm. “You had all these thoughts in your head, and you left me here in the dark, thinking that everything was alright on your end. And when you made up your mind, you just called me to announce the verdict of a trial I didn’t participate in.”

Jamie opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again. I guess there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t be a lie. He had decided for both of us.

“This…” I started again. “This is not how things work, how relationships work. If you have second thoughts, I need to know. If you need something I’m not giving you, I need to know. If you believe that we’re fucking falling apart,” I finally barked, unable to keep the anger from my voice, “I. Need. To. Know.”

Jamie nodded, but I was far from finished. “What we’re trying to do is bloody hard. We need to talk, and talking includes the unpleasant discussions too. I’m not going to try again without knowing that you’ll do that.”

“I give ye my word, Claire. We will make this work. I will do anything I can to make sure it does.”

“Will you talk to me? Always?” There was no ice or blaze in my voice now. Just a question. A sincere question that demanded an honest answer.

“Always,” Jamie vowed and leaned into me. “I will not give up on us, ever again,” he whispered on my lips, and I drank the words in.

I had trusted him with my heart before and he broke it. But he was right when he said that I knew him. And I knew he’d torn his own heart apart in the process too. I could still see the pain in the way his sweater hung a little too wide on him, in the black bags underneath his blue eyes. I looked into his eyes, those eyes I knew better than my own, and saw the truth in them.

“One chance, Jamie Fraser. You won’t get another.”

“I willna need another. Ye’re mine and I’m yers, and I will never let you go again.”

“Promise?” I asked, as if that would seal the deal. As if his promise would secure my happiness.

“Promise,” Jamie nodded emphatically, his eyes overflowing with tears that split when he closed them and kissed me again.

And this time, I kissed him back. It was long, and soft, and encompassing. It was an offering of his soul, and I took it, keeping it safe inside my chest. A treasure and a hostage.

“Plus,” Jamie said once we stopped to catch our breath. “I offer you a chance to torture me forever for making the worst mistake of my life.”

I laughed, cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

I closed my eyes. Life was nothing but chances and choices. Decisions. Paths waiting for us to take them. A huge aisle with chocolate bars.

I looked towards the path in front of me and I saw Jamie and me together -- arguing, fighting, kissing, laughing. I saw a man who wasn’t flawless, but was mine. I saw a future that wasn’t perfect, but was real.

I saw happy moments and sad ones. I saw difficulties and dreams coming true. I saw us facing life with our hands clasped tightly together.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw a risk, but a risk worth taking.

“Challenge accepted, Jamie Fraser.”

And just like that, the next chapter of our lives began.

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #last chapter!#I can't believe it!

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