#touch repulsed demiromantic ace

[justanotherhh]

alastor aroace semiotics: symbols/metaphors/codes (oh my!)

thinking about some of the aroace subtext, both in terms of what's definitely intentional, and things that one can pick up on within the burgeoning field of "what the heck does aspec (in this case aroace) semiology even look like in (this particular) narrative?"

there's the really obvious one of course "ace in the hole." funny as well, because ace in the hole could also reference Alastor being the card you play as a hidden advantage (potentially hinting that Rosie knows that Alastor has his own agenda and supports that, like she does in the song). Of course "Alastor is ace" is the main point of the joke, because it's a sentence that comes a little out of nowhere, and clearly confuses Alastor, because he doesn't know Stuff

2. secondly, there's the pilot episode's placing Alastor first next to and then on top of the Ace of Spades. tbh if this was an accident, it sure was a serendipitous one, because the Ace of Spades not only refers to being ace, but specifically aroace (with Hearts meaning alloace, Diamonds meaning demiace, and Clubs meaning grey-ace <- t Ace of Diamonds/Clubs are a more open to interpretation, I've seen some also use them for demiromantic and greyromantic)

3. Body language! Alastor's reactions to being propositioned or involved in a sex joke, or having to listen to romance talk ranges from discomfort (glitching), to blunt refusal/shutting down of the conversation, to boredom/distraction. I haven't made a study of Alastor's body language in detail, but I'd be interested in how his smiles potentially shift when around very sexual and/or romantic discussion, regardless of whether he's the centre of that (but probably moreso if he is). I think this would come more to the fore in future seasons if there were examples beyond Angel Dust, who also made Husk uncomfortable in the first half of s1, but Alastor -- especially in the pilot -- had very visceral reactions to Angel's "flirting/joking," moreso than anyone else, until Angel had really gone too far with Husk in ep4 (and he come onto Alastor as strongly/invasively as he did with Husk)

4. Speaking of Angel... Alastor not being present outside of a flashback in all of episode 4, and not in episode 6 either. Both episodes featured sex heavily, including Angel showing off one of his pornos, and the gang going to a sex club. Also, Valentino was in both of them (makes sense, seeing as they were Angel-centric). I wonder what Alastor feels about Valentino's whole... existence. He's also the only main s1 hotel character to not be involved in the trust exercises that lead them to the bondage/SM club. this has nothing necessarily to do with the character, but he's very much placed outside of sexual scenarios and places by the writing/plot, which is fun to notice, especially in the first two examples, as his not being in the episodes isn't actually explained. No Alastor in the sex episodes, because his fourth wall sex repulsed senses were tingling?

5. boundaries and power fantasies. that is, Alastor is a character who has very clear boundaries and ways of enforcing them. from blowing up Sir Pentious when he grabs his coat, to noping out of any space he wants to, to seizing the narrative from Vox and telling the story on his terms, to shadow tentacles (ironic), nobody touches him emotionally/physically unless they're allowed. Niffty, Rosie, and Mimzy so far appear to be the ones who have crossed into that "allowed" space the most, but considering he lets everyone (barring Lucifer and Husk, who don't want to) hug him in the finale, some of those barriers are coming down, which is another interesting analysis to make at some point

these boundaries aren't all entirely healthy either -- the way he lashes out at Husk who seems to actually be trying to look out for him (which suggests that Husk is emotionally close-ish to him, enough that he didn't realise he was overstepping), and the way he breaks down in the finale, shows that his inability to be vulnerable in front of others is... not actually a good thing. I wrote a whole bunch about how this part of Alastor's writing play into a very aroace-in-feel narrative for him, but suffice to say... a story about someone with boundaries that seems to be completely absent of "romance/sex will fix you" is refreshing. and very aroace coded

there's also a power fantasy in the idea that one can simply bend the space to avoid ones boundaries being trampled over. to be able to either nope out of a room or to make oneself so terrifying that nobody would want to try to get up in your space... it's got a little smthinsmthin of a "wish it were me" in there. being repulsed means an often constant erosion and invasion of boundaries, from people making your disgust and/or obliviousness the centre of their sex jokes, to being hyper-scrutinised and challenged every time you do or don't let someone into your space in whatever way, or challenge their notions of what's "allowed" as an aroace person. sometimes you just want to say "Demonic Powers Be Upon Ye" and be done with it

6. An Absence. most often aspec narrative is defined by an absence of allo-narrative. that is, Angel Dust, Husk, Charlie, Vaggie, Cherri, Sir Pentious, Lucifer, are set up as allo-figures with romance and sex featuring more or less in all of their stories. the only hotel residents so far who don't have that going on are Alastor and Niffty, and Niffty's story has yet to have the foundations laid out for beyond the very bare bones, and she flirts with others (her "bad boy" preference). whatever Alastor's journey is, it's not coded as alloromantic or allosexual in any way, whether through casual jokes/flirting, or a longform romantic and sexual relationship exploration, with the possible exception of...

7. Vox. the characters that Alastor seems closest to in this story are Rosie, Mimzy, Niffty, Charlie, and Husk (with the mysterious figure that owns his soul looming in the back as well). out of them, none of them are coded as anyone he's sexually or romantically involve with or heading in that direction. the last figure in Alastor's life that's very heavily figured so far is Vox. And Vox is obsessed with Alastor in a way that absolutely can be read as a bad one-sided break-up/jilted stalker type framing, with Alastor gleefully recounting his "no" when talking about their past, and otherwise putting Vox out of his mind, while almost all of Vox' big character moments revolve around how much real estate Alastor takes up in his mind (literally, considering his error message is all Alastor messaging)

Vox being a figure who is symbolically the trampler of aroace boundaries is a very good way of showing Alastor's total disinterest and even disgust (depending on whether or not he knows that Vox was/is into him), and can act as a future potential interesting barometer for other characters to be "less" invasive, but still not quite getting it to begin with (see, Angel Dust's casual flirting, Charlie's tendency to see everything from her perspective, who knows how Cherri and Lucifer might fit into this equation, and generally the sex-and-romance framing of a lot of the other narratives)

8. I talked about aroaceness being a humanising factor to Alastor in my other big ol' post I did, just want to mention it here as well. so far it exists somewhat as a Potential, in the sense that we're firmly in s1 and there's still a lot of ways this could all go, but I think it's worth mentioning as a form of foundational signposting work that's been done for his character

he's more on the dark grey end of the grey scale of all of these characters, he's manipulative, sadistic, cruel when he wants to be, petty, selfish, likes being the centre of attention + is easily rankled when he's not, and presumably he went to hell because he killed people for kicks <- these traits are not unique to him, considering the setting, but what is is the beginnings of a storyline exploring his particular relationship to vulnerability and power and why those things are a part of him in the way they are. this from the perspective of someone who is aroace (and possibly repulsed) instantly adds a potential sympathetic nuance to who he's become, similar to the layer of power fantasy mentioned above. both of these turn his narrative from a cautionary tale or a villain-played-straight (haha) trope into something much more interesting

with the semiotics of aroaceness already in place, these affect how we read the foundations for the rest of his narrative and where it's going. quite simply, it's one of the biggest factors right now that make all his other story beats more resonant and interesting, depending of course on where they take it...

9. his smile. since we've gotten deep enough into meta territory now that we're in hc/future theorising country -- the smile is of course a mask, that's known to everyone. there's a lot of future opportunities for how to utilise that alongside aroaceness-as-theme-for-him. aroaceness, or just "someone where there is a noticeable lack of romantic (and hinted at sexual) interest," is usually coded through a certain shallowness. a pathologisation of behaviours -- which is another deeper analysis post to make at some point (jeez there's so many). Alastor is off-putting, yes, but he's also very confident and charming when he wants to be, he can put people at ease despite themselves (see, Charlie). It's a very interesting mask to give someone who's aroace, because it makes him complicated, rather than a simple ableist "point at the weirdo with no friends, that's our Outsider/killer."

(it also hearkens back to the humanising factor, in that his shallowness isn't because he's aroace, it's because he doesn't know how to be vulnerable with people as the person he is in a world that is incredibly amatonormative and focused on sex)

His smile can be unnerving, but it can also be disarming, give others the illusion that he's in control, make it impossible to guess his emotions (etc. basically what he said to Charlie)

so quite simply, his smile as a twisted distortion of society's demands upon people. he's not being abrupt, aloof, asocial, unkempt, or all the things aroaceness is often stereotyped as. he's performing the most acceptable normative person you can imagine. his surface is unscratcheable because of normative ideals

it's a very fun, unique-to-this-story way of potentially telling an aroace narrative. I'd be interested in what it takes to make him drop it (if he can, or if the story takes the route of accepting that he can't -- the man who laughs kinda vibes) and whether that will tie into a piece of his story that itself takes on aroace proportions (perhaps related to worrying for others in a non-romantic way, perhaps in relation to being able to or being forced to be vulnerable in a non-romantic/non-sexual way, etcetc).

Potentials:

we haven't seen him around the aro/ace aroace colours yet as far as I can remember, which is a fun, easy way to signpost (see, Vox flashing the bisexual flag on his screen)

since we've had an "ace in the hole" joke, I think we could have an aro/arrow-based pun in there as well, maybe even as a deconstruction of when they're used in romantic ways -- (no aro going through his heart, too aro for cupid's arrow, idk I'm spitballing here) or as literal arrows in some way. also someone's gotta call him aces at one point, right? just cos? I feel like the "<2" emoji might be too niche (heck, maybe all of this is, but that's part of the point -- all of this should be ways we're able to signpost aro and ace and aroace characters), but there's characters who know modern emoji and online lingo

other asexual symbols I know of include stating a preference for cake or pizza over sex and/or dating and the black and white rings (worn respectively on right an left middle fingers, although since they only have four fingers in this world...)

I've really enjoyed "clueless cannibal about modern lingo" Alastor comics, including the one about serving cunt and the one about eating ass both by @nouverx. it goes nicely on from his being confused about "ace in the hole," with that HH style sexual comedy. there's a whole bunch of that one could play with

speaking of slang, confirmed bachelor has often meant gay, but the aro/ace community and the gay community has overlapped as long as anyone has been non-conforming. @creepysora suggested a gentleman never kisses and tells, either as Alastor being unaware that it's actually about sex, or as an aware deconstruction of the phrase that gives him the space (similar to confirmed bachelor) to sneakily go, "go mind your own fucking business 😊!" I'm sure there are others that could fulfill a similar purpose of allowing Alastor a certain kind of old-timey buffer

similar to the episode of Bojack Horseman that had Todd visit his girlfriend's parents (both Todd and his GF are asexual and not out to her parents), which depicted allosexuality from the perspective of asexuality as something nonsensical and Other, perhaps having something from Alastor's POV in which he's the observer of the rites of romance and/or sex in a way that shows their strangeness when one sits outside of their tenets

would kind of like to see him killing/hurting people for being pushy, either when alive or dead. I already see a lot of potentials for his past as a serial killer to be framed from an aroace POV, but I especially like this idea, similar to how Hannibal often targets people for being "rude."

more on what I was saying about aroaceness as a humanising trait -- more on how this affected him in life, how he feels about Vox's consistent obsessive behaviour, how it potentially makes it harder to imagine his place in a group setting like the hotel (which is rapidly being paired off into romantic couples -- often a nightmare scenario for aromantics), more on how potentially learning these words or something better to describe himself can make it possible for him to assert boundaries without shutting everyone out to a large extent, and also, tbh, to put Big Expectations onto a story that's barely even started, I hope that none of this takes away his less savoury traits necessarily. I hope he's still kind of an asshole, but simply that he is grounded in himself enough to be able to really believe in Charlie's work/aims and support her in them for more reasons than his own ends, and can admit to really caring for something

reiterating: I am interested in how his smile-as-mask will play into all of this

Any symbolism, metaphor, coding, and straight-up telling I've missed in the show itself? Any you'd want to see in upcoming seasons?

#alastor #aroace alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel meta #i keep saying *there's another analysis here* let's see if I ever do

[sunderingstars]

°˖➴ astral express aro/ace headcanons

what the stars reveal: my personal aromantic & asexual spectrum headcanons for the astral express crew! just doing my part to spread the aroace agenda on valentine’s day ☆彡

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ MARCH 7TH ⌝

⟢ panromantic asexual

⟢ sex-repulsed

⟢ she’s extremely sex positive and sees it as a form of deeper romantic connection for other people, but doesn’t like it for herself. i can see her in my mind’s eye going “yuck!” when thinking about dealing with everything involved lmao

⟢ she has lots of celebrity crushes and is very much a romantic at heart, yet the concept of “hotness” confuses her. she mostly uses it as another way to say “pretty” or “beautiful” or “cute” but is shocked to find out that isn’t what other people mean

⟢ appreciates artistic nudity in photography — she doesn’t see anything sexual about it and doesn’t understand how other people can

⟢ in a qpr with dan heng

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ DAN HENG ⌝

⟢ demiromantic demisexual

⟢ romance-neutral, sex-neutral

⟢ mostly, he doesn’t bother with romance and sex and they don’t bother with him (unbothered king) — until he gets close to someone and it hits him all at once and he goes “oh. oh i do experience this sometimes”

⟢ when he is not actively experiencing it, he forgets that attraction exists

⟢ this applies to dan feng too, i feel like he only really felt attraction towards yingxing once they had that emotional connection

⟢ in a qpr with march 7th

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ WELT YANG ⌝

⟢ aromantic asexual

⟢ romance-favorable, sex-favorable

⟢ generally, i feel like he doesn’t pay these things much mind beyond knowing they exist, but seeing as he has such excitement for new experiences i think he’d be down to try anything new (including romance and sex)

⟢ knows the most about aro/ace identities out of everyone on the crew — despite being out-of-touch with newer definitions, he’s definitely done his research

⟢ him and tesla co-parent joey (platonically)!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ HIMEKO ⌝

⟢ greyromantic bisexual

⟢ romance-neutral

⟢ loves the idea of romance, but very rarely experiences romantic attraction. for her, it needs to be a blend of unique circumstances that makes her interested in someone, including personality, hobbies, experience, etc. and that doesn’t happen often

⟢ she is also particular about who she has sex with — since she views it less as an inherent extension of romance and more as a way to make both parties feel good in their bodies, she wants to make sure potential partners also understand that

⟢ overall, i see her as having very refined tastes and “once in a blue moon” romantic attraction

edit: changed himeko to greyromantic bisexual since i found out she’s canonically bi in hi3 !!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ TRAILBLAZER ⌝

⟢ self-insert slot!

⟢ for me, i see them as oriented aroace (non-specific) and romance-repulsed, sex-neutral

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ POM-POM ⌝

⟢ aromantic asexual

⟢ romance-repulsed, sex-repulsed

⟢ honestly, i see them being annoyed with the concepts of romance and sex in general — they see both as distractions, and sex would especially cause a headache trying to clean up

© written by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

#⌞ ✎ sunder.writes ⌝ #hsr #honkai star rail #astral express crew #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #welt yang #himeko #march 7th #dan heng #trailblazer #pom pom

[little-cereal-draws]

Hello!

Just read you had aspec Moon Knight posts you deleted, after reading you were looking for some aspec Moon Knight fics while I was searching your blog for more fics after I read your voicemails fic (it broke my heart in the most delicious way lol).

Anyway, from what I gathered, you were criticized for these posts and I understand why you deleted them. But as an aroace Moon Knight fan as well, I'd love to read a bit about your ideas!

Would you mind sharing, privately if you want? Like sending me an ask or DM'ing. me.

Again, totally understand if you don't want to.

Have a good day!

Hello! I never actually deleted any posts, just the harassing comments on posts. The existence of those comments just proves why I need to leave them up anyway. No aphobia on my blog! 😤

Anyway, idk how far you went back in my posts, but I have a ton of aspec moon knight stuff because the fandom needs more of it, especially the tumblr fandom. (Like, I get it, people think Oscar Isaac is attractive. I don't need to go into the moon knight tag and instantly get bombarded by hundreds of self-insert smut. Even tho that's what tumblr does... sigh) So, I thought I would make as much aspec content as I could to cater to the ppl who don't want smut constantly on their dash lol

Here's a master list of all of my stuff and some of other people's stuff I've found

My stuff:

Layla x the boys headcanons, I was still too scared to explicitly say they were aroace at this point but there is no romance lol

Steven's love language, just a quick headcanon bc I needed to project a bit lol Not explicitly aspec related but I thought I would include it

Touch Adverse Jake Headcaonons, not explicitly aspec related but I thought I would include it. Goes into his unhealthy relationship w Khonshu a bit

Aroace headcanons for the boys:

Demiromantic and demisexual Marc (has sexual content)

aroace Steven

touch adverse/sex repulsed Jake (has sexual content)

Steven and Layla should be in a qpr, It's literally what I just wrote there lol

Layla's lullaby, A fanart I did right when I finished the show

Going on a Queer Platonic Museum Date with Steven Grant, A self insert for aspec ppl

Moon Boy Playlists, Youtube playlists I made for the boys. Not explicitly aspec related but I did try to include at least one aroace song in each of them; some have more than others. (has sexual content, violence, drugs, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and panic attacks. Most of these topics are on Marc's playlist but are on all of them)

Other people's stuff:

Aromantic Moon Knight icons by @embrace-the-laters-gators

Asexual Moon Knight icons by @embrace-the-laters-gators

Gus pride icons by @embrace-the-laters-gators (includes aro/ace flags but has many different options)

Ace Steven icons by @adhd-orion

Perilune by @pokimoko on ao3, "In which Layla and Marc go to a party and share an important talk, Layla and Steven go on a date under the stars, and Layla and Jake go out for breakfast and come to a realization." (This is literally the best moon knight fic i've ever read, i highly recommend this one. All the boys are aspec and layla is an angel)

Dear Fellow Traveler by WastelandWalkin on ao3 (idk if they're on tumblr. if someone knows, pls tell me), "There are four of them now. Jake Lockley is the first to notice this. Jake Lockley is the first to notice most things." (I haven't actually read this one yet so idk if it's any good, but it's got queerplatonic relationship in the tags)

Aroace Jake headcanons by @tiptapricot

Jake and Layla's relationship headcanons by @mockspector

Aroace Jake headcanons by @mockspector

Bonus:

Aroace Jack Russell by @h0wv3ry

#i know that was a lot but i am always making more >:) #i'm proud of this so i'm pinning it #come get your aroace moon knight content kids! #hope i credited everyone right #if anyone has more content pls tell me! i want to see it! #asks #marvel #mcu #moon knight #moon knight 2022 #moon knight fic #moon knight headcanon #moon knight art #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #khonshu moon knight #layla el faouly #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aspec #lgbt #lgbtq #marc spector x layla el faouly #steven grant x layla el faouly #steven grant x y/n #jack russell

[oraclebell17]

1, 7, 12! 💚🤍🖤

1. when did you realize you were arospec?

honestly it's probably not even been a few months at this point?? i've known i was ace for a while but i kept the label of biromantic for a while

not too long ago, over the course of several discord conversations, i kinda realized i never felt like i had romantic feelings?? nobody i could claim as a crush???? and this one guy who i "dated" i never felt anything further than good friends for?????

anyways it was mostly reflections on my own life lol, and i think i like the label arospec (even if i have demiromantic on my pronouns.page)

7. do you experience any forms of attraction? i.e., romatic, platonic, aesthetic, sensual, sexual, etc.

i'd absolutely be lying if i said no to some of these lol- platonic, aesthetic i'd say yeah!! i think i'd say sensual too, ajhasbdfg again a little touch-starved....

12. are you romance favorable, positive, neutral, or repulsed? or is your relationship to romance more complex/complicated than these terms can fully explain?

ooh....... not repulsed, i know that lol

in terms of other people? yeah, go ahead! cool!!

in terms of myself? uhhhhhhhhhhhh still not repulsed but?? it probably wouldn't be a romance in the traditional sense if i'm gonna have it (shrug emoji)

#thank you for the ask!! #text

[the-false-prophets-song]

realising that I'm demiplatonic and demisensual explains so much, given what my first response to discovering what demisexuality was

Back then, I knew I was ace, and knew I was probably aro, but given that I am an extremely repulsed apothisexual but not an extremely repulsed apothiromantic it was difficult to know for sure.

When I first heard about what being demisexual and demiromantic was, it just made so much sense. It explained so many things that I didn't understand about allo culture. However, it didn't explain everything in the sense of my own sexuality.

But, given that I was unsure if I was fully aro, I briefly entertained the idea that I was demiro ace. It was never a certainty, and reasonably quickly I came to the conclusion that no, I am aroace. But still, demi just weirdly made so much sense to me.

After recently learning about atertiary people, I've been trying to define where I fall on that spectrum and so far I think I'm Demiplatonic, Demisensual, Demiqueerplatonic, Nonaesthetic (I prefer saying "Nonaesthetic" since "Anaesthetic" is already a word) and Allofamilial (slightly boring I know, but I like knowing I have that label).

So, it turns out, demi made so much sense to me because I am demi! Just not in the romantic attraction or sexual attraction.

I love my friends, but if I think about it, it did take a while to love them, or even to consider them friends. And there are plenty of people I've been positive acquaintances with for years but calling them "friends" seems weirdly off because I don't think about them when I'm not around them and honestly wouldn't miss them as a person if they were gone - and I feel bad if one goes out of their way to do something really nice to me (like one who'd heard I'd had a bad day, and the next day gave me a book related to my special interest) because I just think "Wow, that's really nice of you. But I wouldn't've done the same. And in a way I want to reciprocate that to say thank you because that meant a lot to me but I just, in the nicest way possible, don't care about you like that".

And I don't like touching many people. I'm not a fan of the texture of skin or the feeling of someone's breath on me but I enjoy closeness so if I'm wearing gloves I'll very gladly hold someone's hand. Well, not just "someone". Only a very close family member or a very close friend or queerplatonic partner, who I've known for a long time and am very emotionally close with first. But if a really close friend asks to hug me, and we're both wearing long sleeves so no skin-to-skin contact, then I will hug them and it'll be amazing and I'll love it. If I'm the one to initiate contact and I'm in the mood, it's great. However, if someone else initiates it and they make skin-to-skin contact and I don't know them well enough, I find it gross.

This doesn't have a point, I'm just happy that I now have labels to describe my atertiary aspec identity and want to yell it into the void.

#aspec #atertiary #demiplatonic #demisensual #anaesthetic #nonaesthetic #aroace #allofamilial #familial love #platonic love #queerplatonic #aplspec #qpr #demi #demiromantic #demisexual

[twincovesgame]

I know you've said that it's not possible to play with a touch-repulsed MC but I was wondering if it will be possible to play with an ace MC? (ig I mean specifically asexual not aro bc you've mentioned that obv romance is like...the whole game). Loved the demo and can't wait for it to come out!

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the demo!

I'm going to say the answer to this is probably no. The MC will have sex at some point with the RO(s) of their choice in game canon. Early sex scene are optional, so you could play as a demisexual or demiromantic MC, but sex does happen in game. To quote directly from the Kickstarter: "Sex happens in Twin Coves and the game has a healthy and progressive attitude towards sex and sexuality. There are multiple opportunities to get into bed with many of the love interests, but the option to have sex before you are locked into a romance route will not affect anyone’s romance. Before the romance routes, all sex scenes are optional, and after that, can be fade to black if you so choose."

I made the choice to include sex in the game because when I began playing visual novels, especially romance games targeted towards women, they were pretty PG when it came to sex. And as someone who loves reading steamy romance novels, I wanted more steam in my romance visual novels. It was one of the catalysts for the game, so it's pretty fundamental to the story. I did pull back and give the non-optional scenes a fade-to-black option for those players who do not wish to read steamy scenes, but I want to stay true to why I made this game in the first place: write a romance visual novel that talks about and includes sex.

I feel there is still a lot of shame around enjoying sex. Or consuming media that includes and celebrates sex, like romance novels. And the only way to combat this is just to... include more healthy sex rep in media to normalize it. I think this is especially true for content targeted towards women, as women are particularly affected by shame around sex. Twin Coves is not targeted towards only women, but I'm just speaking as a woman myself. There are other convos to have about romance and sex in visual novels that don't center women.

I'd love to see more ace rep in media, but it's just not my personal mission. However, I do want more demi rep, which is personal to me, thus Rook.

And speaking of Rook... all of the romance options are written as people who are allosexual, or in Rook's case, demisexual. (Some of the other ROs probably give off demi vibes as well, tbh. Rook is the only RO that discusses it in game though.) And the MC is a character in the game too. They're not really written to be self-insert-able, so they have their own personality and preferences, and one of them is that they are interested in sex with the ROs. They can take their time to get there, but sex happens in the game eventually.

I understand the desire to see certain things in games. I'm on the ace spectrum myself and would love to see more demisexual and demiromanctic rep in books and games. But this game probably won't appeal to someone looking for an asexual MC. The same as this game isn't going to appeal to someone who doesn't like paranormal romance or murder mysteries.

The good news is a lot of people are making visual novels and interactive fiction, and there are many games where asexuality for the MC is an option.

#asexuality #ace #asexual #demisexual #demi

[icharchivist]

I can get behind demisexual Eustace

Not-not like that

Unless he wants to

Unfortunately I don't have any of his units

DLKFJDKLFJDFLK

but right!! right!

I didn't read like a whole tone of Eustace things but i know i remember seeing people mention that in vday/wday/bday lines he's one of the characters who is the most smitten for MC, so while holiday lines are always more fanservie than a real indication of their attractions and stuff, i do think Eustace being *this* smitten is probably telling that at least he could have romantic affection for someone.

but even there it would come after a lot of work on this relationship i think, and i don't know how he'd feel about going at it. I like the idea of him being ace, demiromantic, and i don't know if he's neutral or repulsed by the idea but i think he can eventually consider it? i think about the way he insists for MC to pet his ears in his wday lines because he knows MC wants to do it and he does want to feel that touch, and it gives me the impression that Eustace would let things go in a certain direction if it's with the person he loves.

obviously no need for hard support like that for something as basic as sexuality hc, but i do like the idea of demiromantic/ace Eustace who is like neutral to willing with the idea of getting on yaknow?

he's a good guy.

#ichareply #anonymous #ichafantalks gbf

[ace-culture-is]

touch repulsed demiro-ace culture is (very specific ik) being uncomfortable with the slightest bit of skin touching yours but being clingy to the one you truly love

#asexual #asexuality #ace culture #ace culture is #actually ace #anonymous #demiromantic #touch repulsed #touch repulsed demiromantic ace #demiromantic ace

[ckret2]

idk if someone actually finally sent this ask but i'mma do it since it seems people are dancing around it: if you're comfortable with it, may we have some radiosnake sexual headcanons (wherein alastor is not sexually repulsed or is demisexual/grey-ace ofc)?? love, a very happy demisexual who just finished a cold day in hell literally two minutes ago

You win the prize for "actually has the courage to directly ask for sexual headcanons" because no, nobody else has asked yet. Sorry for taking so long to answer it but like... the answer is over 2000 words. Have fun.

Now, anon, I've got something important you should know.

When I brainstorm radiosnake stuff, there's a little chatroom I do it in. What happens is, a lot of times, I'll come up with a scene or a scenario or a plot arc, and I'll describe it to that chat. And then, every once in a while, I'll say, "... and then here's how that same thing goes over in the parallel universe where Alastor Fucks." I have. A looot of little ideas set in the parallel universe where Alastor Fucks.

(He's still somewhere on the ace spectrum in all those ideas—either he's demi or else he's sex-neutral/sex-positive ace, depending on the idea—but he does Fuck.)

However, 1) a majority of these ideas are very clearly set specifically in CDIH's verse, and so I don't wanna share them as broad "radiosnake headcanons" when they're tied to one specific fanfic; and 2) a lot of them are angsty, and if you're asking for general headcanons then I'm assuming what you probably want is them actually having a good time rather than several decades of self-induced suffering over unrequited desire. So if you want CDIH-specific stuff and/or angsty stuff (or, more likely, CDIH-specific angsty stuff), hit me up again and I'll share some more stuff. For now, I'll talk about more general non-angsty headcanons.

Okay so most of this answer is geared toward Alastor's perspective since it's like, it's the more interesting one to me in this context, he's the one gradually figuring stuff out while Sir Pent's hanging out being allo with over a century of having his sexuality sorted out.

So that you know what kinda headcanons I'm rolling with here: there's, like, several ways I can conceptualize Alastor's orientation in my head, and they're sorta ranked by how "true" they are to me. Not "true" as in "how canon I think they are," but "true" as in, like, what Feels the Most Right to me.

The #1 Most True version of Alastor in my head is 100% ace/aro. He's not "repulsed" by sex (or romance, for that matter) in the sense of "disgusted/horrified/never ever wants to hear about it," but he, like, has absolutely zero interest in DOING it. He's not repulsed by the subject but he is by most touch, including the kind of touching necessary for sex. Might have some, like, academic curiosity about sex & romance, might enjoy it in a fictional context simply for the drama it adds to a story, but has no desire to be a participant. He can listen to a friend talk about their sexual escapades in graphic detail for an hour without an ounce of discomfort but if they offer him a quick peck on the lips he goes "I'm out." He might have sex Once just to see what it's like/just to say he has and that’s where his curiosity ends.

So that's my mental Most True Version Of Alastor.

The SECOND most true version of Alastor is like, the exact same as that, except he's just barely demiromantic enough that he might, once, fall in love. The odds of him falling in love are the same as someone's odds of winning the lottery. This is the version of Alastor I use in CDIH and other radiosnake fics, where Sir Pentious happens to have been lucky enough to win the lottery, but also, it took fifteen years before it happened. Alastor's feelings about touch & sex are the same, EXCEPT that whoever he loves is excluded from the Touch Is Unpleasant rule, which opens up a few more possibilities.

And I've got more mental versions of Alastor but that's as far as we need to go to be relevant to this post.

So given the above: Alastor's natural internal pool of Enjoyable Physical Activities that he would be autonomously inclined to want to try with Sir Pentious is broader than "nothing at all" but stops short of actual sex. More like sensual activities.

The not-necessarily-sexual sensual things that are obviously & immediately available on Alastor’s Selectable Menu Of Romantic Physical Activities are gonna be things like:

--Cuddles! We're starting as vanilla as possible, folks. Cuddling and sleeping in bed together. 95% naked cuddles are acceptable, although Alastor is inclined to keep his underpants on. Moving to "underpants" from "underpants AND undershirt" is a Notable Intimacy Milestone for him because like Back In His Day undershirts were part of the required underwear, so to him that's taking off 50% of his underwear. It's like switching from loose boxers to a thong. On the other hand Sir Pent is just, totally nude, because look at him he already isn't wearing any pants, he's got nothing to hide.

--Massage! Neither one of them is any sort of professional but tbh on a scale of 1 to 10 a massage can be as bad as a 3 and still be enjoyable y'know? Alastor tends to offer if he notices Sir Pent is sore and/or if Alastor has decided he's gonna be in Extreme Over-The-Top Performatively* Romantic Mode tonight. He always sort of forgets that the option of being massaged exists until Sir Pent offers it in return, because, like, he thinks of himself as a floating radio voice with an inconvenient meat puppet attached, sometimes he forgets that the meat puppet can be pampered too. And then he sits there in a blissed-out daze while Sir Pent goes holy crap your shoulders are like oak, how have you not snapped your own spine with tension yet.

(*Note here when I say Alastor can get "performatively" romantic I don't mean "going through the motions but isn't feeling the love"; I mean that, like, basically NO romantic gestures come naturally to him because he just isn't feeling the gestures even though he's definitely feeling the love. He's sort of figuring out How To Perform Romance As An Action by drawing on how he's seen it done in books/movies/etc. and picking & choosing the things that seem most fun to him to do. So in a sense he is performing a role that he's conscious of when he interacts with Sir Pent romantically, but that's because "performing a role" is how Mr. Perpetual Radio Host approaches all of life—and he's only performing this one because he genuinely wants to and because he's enjoying it.)

--Body worship! Alastor is really deeply squicked out by touching someone's skin/hair/fur but on the other hand (and maybe specifically because it avoids the squick) he is really deeply fascinated by Sir Pentious's scales, which feel Not At All Like Mammal Skin. He also still does the "??? oh right, I have a body too" thing when Sir Pent returns the attention—but Alastor's like, okay, I’m obviously more familiar with my own body than Sir Pent is, I don’t find my body that interesting but it must still be interesting to Sir Pent.

--Showering together! Sir Pent has figured out that if he starts singing in the shower there is a 99% chance that Alastor will trip over his own pants trying to simultaneously strip down and run to the bathroom so that he can join in on SHOWER DUET TIME. Frankly it's a lot safer to just go "hey I'm about to take a shower, wanna join?" but sometimes he doesn't just to see how fast Alastor shows up.

--Kissing! Making out is completely and always an option. Three of Alastor's most defining character traits are being a radio host (which kind of reduces a person to their voice), his perpetual smile, and his cannibalism. Like 80% of this dude's existence revolves around his mouth. He's absolutely got some kind of oral fixation. He gets into making out—as long as it's with the right person. There is exactly one right person. Sir Pent is okay with this.

Other enjoyable mouth activities:

- Kissing places other than the mouth

- Being kissed in places other than the mouth

- Biting

- Being bitten

And there's the overall list of non-sexual sensual activities that Alastor is into!

... And then eventually at some point Sir Pent is like "no pressure but hhhhypothetically sssspeaking are there possibly any sexual activities you might be interested in trying out" and Alastor is like "What? Oh! Right! Actually forgot sex existed for a bit. Yeah sure fine let’s try it." And that's the point at which they start experimenting with activities beyond Alastor's default activities!

Despite just about everything else with mouths being good, things Alastor is NOT into:

- Blowjobs

They did try. It seemed like a logical starting point. Alastor was like "I've liked putting my mouth everywhere else on this snake, it stands to reason I'll like putting it there too!" He got himself psyched up. He faced down The Dicks. He went, hmm. He stuck his tongue out and poked one.

He went "Yeah this isn't happening."

And Sir Pent went "Honestly you've already surpassed my wildest dreams just by getting that far."

They tried it the other way around too and Alastor went "Yyyye... hmmm... nnnnnooo no, no, don't think so. Not into that at all."

And it took him all of five seconds to reject the mere possibility of ever trying rimming, and the only reason it took that long to reject is because first Sir Pent had to explain what that is.

But everything else with mouths is great! Like. Everything. Sir Pent could go "can you lick my eyeball" and Alastor would go "which one? :)" (Sir Pent would probably not ask for this. But the point is he could.)

Figuring out Alastor's acceptable/enjoyable sex acts was a lot of experimentation like the above with BJs. And what they figured out is: he doesn't want his junk touched. Like. At all. In any context. Which, you know, understandably cuts down on nearly all the sexual options out there. But that’s the hard line: no touching his dick and no touching his butthole. Even if he, like, actively has a raging boner.

(Fun fact that I actually had to do research on, because despite being ace I did not know this due to the fact that I don't have a dick: if you are ace and have a dick there's good odds you'll still pop a boner in sexual situations, even if you have zero interest in what you’re looking at or participating in it. It's like something in your crotch goes "oh! Oh! A naked butt! I know what to do here! We got training for this! Time to ready the cannon!" and something in your brain goes "why the hell are you readying the cannon, we are absolutely not going to use the cannon, the cannon is a major inconvenience here" and the something in your crotch goes "listen, pal, I'm just following my orders. I don't tell you how to do your job, don't tell me how to do mine." The tl;dr here is that when Alastor is experimenting with Sir Pent, he could be completely bored out of his mind and still get a boner because biology is funky like that.)

The first few times this happens Sir Pent goes "are you sure you don't want me to, y'know, give you a handjob or something?? I feel like an inconsiderate jerk not helping out" and Alastor goes "absolutely not" and Sir Pent goes well okay I've made a career out of being an inconsiderate jerk, I guess I can do it in the bedroom too.

What they do manage to gradually figure out is that Alastor is perfectly fine with touching Sir Pent's junk, as long as it's not with his own junk or with his mouth. So hand jobs? Totally fair game. Letting Sir Pent grind against his thigh or abdomen? No problems with that. (Alastor flopped on his stomach going "this really does it for you??" and Sir Pent rubbing in Alastor's tail fur going "... yes." and Alastor is like, "wow. wild.")

More than that, Alastor gradually starts to figure out he likes that. Not necessarily the sensation of having a couple of dicks rubbing on his thigh—that's just sorta weird and probably always will be—but the knowledge of what it's doing to Sir Pent. He likes knowing he's giving Sir Pentious pleasure. He likes hearing him gasp and seeing him writhe and knowing that it's because Sir Pent wants Alastor and that Alastor has the power to give him exactly what he wants. He likes hearing Sir Pent hissing his name and little praises and one-word requests. ("Alastor’s existence revolves around mouths” includes sounds coming out of mouths, he gets more out of words and little noises than he does out of sight & touch combined.)

They figure out that what Alastor enjoys doing best is spooning Sir Pent from behind, wrapped around him to jerk him off. In bed or in the shower or even sitting with Sir Pent in his lap or between his legs. Alastor can put his chin on Sir Pentious's shoulder to listen to the sounds he makes and watch how his long long body moves, he can wrap his free arm around his waist and feel how he tenses and relaxes and squirms, they can kiss (and/or bite, biting is nice) with a little bit of careful positioning...

Also it's easier for Alastor to quietly sing to him from there.

... Alastor sings during sex. For the record. The first time he does it it's a nervous "I don't know what I'm supposed to be saying and it seems too quiet—oh I've got a solution" but soon it's just. A thing he does. Sir Pent gradually goes from "what? seriously? this is what you're doing?" to "lmao you dork" to "well I guess I now have a new kink I will never be able to get rid of, thanks." Sometimes he'll shakily sing along and Alastor's guts will melt into warm goo.

So there's a general overview of the more, like, normal stuff they get up to. Considering that their shared hobbies include things like "murder" and "being better than everyone else" and one of them is a cannibal, I'm sure that once they get down the basics they just get weirder. Copious amounts of blood get involved! Not their own blood. Other people's. 

#(the content under the cut is of course very n s f w) #radiosnake #hazbin hotel #alastor #sir pentious #anonymous #ask #headcanons

[aceofwhump]

Submitted by anon:

Hey! 

Sorry if this is all just a rambling mess or too personal to even be asking you in the first place (if so, please feel free to ignore away) but I’ve been questioning a lot lately whether or not I might be asexual & I was just curious about how you knew you were? I keep going through moments (especially after reading about other people’s experiences in the whump community) of thinking for certain that I am but then I end up thinking things over and doubting it.

I can say for certain that I do find people hot/handsome/attractive/sexy/yada yada but I can’t really tell whether that’s in a sexual way or not? I don’t really ever look at a person & think ‘god they’re hot, I’d love to f*ck them’ but then surely nobody does that without establishing a relationship with the person first, right?

Most of the time I’m not really ever instantly attracted to a person (if you showed me a photo, for example and asked me if I found that person hot I’d probably be pretty indifferent) but (and this is mainly in regards to celebrities) once I’ve been familiarised with them and their personality and seen them in a few things, say interviews and movies or stuff, I may develop an attraction to them (this is particularly true when it comes to seeing actors getting whumped, I find that most of my attractions form that way tbh).

Of course there’s the odd occasion where a person may be undeniably attractive & aesthetically pleasing and I’ll be attracted to them on the offset but it’s rarely the case.

Other than that, despite maybe a couple of people that I’ve found kind of  pleasant to look at, I don’t think I’ve really ever been attracted to anyone I’ve known in person, at least not in that way.

Also, whilst sex scenes themselves don’t neccessarily make me uncomfortable (can’t say I get the appeal but it doesn’t really  offend me in any way), if there’s a scene involving the nudity of an actor that I’m attracted to (as in full frontal) it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I guess that could just because it feels like an invasion of privacy as opposed to anything else though. I’ve been occasionally known to watch certain things to deal with particular urges and nudity doesn’t bother me then so I have no clue why it does in other situations.

I’ve also never had a relationship or been intimate with anyone in any way, nor can I say that I’m particularly interested in having one/doing so. I’m kind of introverted & socially awkward so maybe that’s a factor but I also don’t know if my disinterest in relationships is related to the whole concern & expectation of having to have sex with someone. I also don’t even know for certain that I’m 100% against the idea of sex. The thought of sex is not really something that appeals to me & I feel like I would happily die without ever experiencing it but I also wouldn’t say I’m entirely repulsed by it? I’ve occasionally daydreamed about characters doing the deed (never myself with anybody else though).

Also, this final part may will sound extremely cheesy so I apologize in advance but sometimes I see characters being all soft and adoring and affectionate with eachother and I kind of think f*ck man I want that. That could just be the whumper in me always seeking that comfort side of things that is so lacking though or maybe it’s just me thinking I want it because it’s supposed to be what everyone wants in life.

This was only supposed to be a short ask and instead you got an entire essay of me rambling about myself ahsgshsh, I’m so sorry! My mind is literally a mess😂.

TL;DR Idk I’m just very confused 🤔

Mod reply below:

Hi hun!! Don’t worry about a long message cause my reply got just as long lol.

I'm really glad you felt comfortable coming to me with this and I'm more than happy to help if I can!

First let me tell you a bit about how I worked out that I am both asexual and aromantic (this might be a jumbled mess so I apologize in advance for that)

So I found asexuality in 2014 and pretty damn quickly accepted and knew that I was asexual. I went through the tumblr tag (back when it was full of people’s experiences and feelings and so much positivity) and related strongly to other asexual people’s experiences. Some of those things included:

Not wanting kids

Having absolutely zero interest in ever having sex. Can go my whole life without and be just fine thanks

Not once have I seen another person and thought about having sex with them

Thought sexual attraction was either a myth/made up or only developed after you knew the person for a long time

Don’t understand why people on tv break up with each other over sex. It’s not that important, right?

Thinking people are “hot” or “sexy” but that just means aesthetically pleasing. Like a painting.

Having a sex drive but would rather take care of it myself than have sex. It’s like an annoying itch. I get annoyed, I scratch it, it goes away, I’m good.

Avoided sex ed whenever possible because I was uncomfortable with sex.

Don’t read smutty fanfic.

Sex on tv makes me uncomfortable not aroused.

Why are people obsessed with butts??? I don’t get it.

Hate when main characters get together in tv shows because that usually means they’re going to have sex and WHY DO THEY NEED TO HAVE SEX?? Isn’t love enough? I don’t get it!!

The idea of getting married and having to have sex with that person that night is horrifying.

All the universal asexual symbols and things that the community has. Like the playing cards, the black ring, the aces love cake, aces love pizza, that stuff. I loved and agreed with every single one. I know the other sexuality do this do but I never saw those, laughed, and went “yeah that’s me!” Just asexuality.

It only took a day if researching before I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was asexual. All these experiences and feelings my fellow asexuals felt really fit with my own experiences.

HOWEVER

My aromantism was a lot harder for me to pin down. I think I went through 4 different romantic orientations before working out how I felt. It was all so confusing and I couldn’t tell what was romantic, what was sexual, and what was neither. I didn’t understand it at all and I spent a long time confused. With sexual attraction I knew I didn't feel that. Never once felt that desire to have sex with a specific person. Not ever. But romantic? I thought I had felt that. Couldn't be sure though. I'm sure now but back then I was very confused. I started thinking I was hetero-romantic because I was only every "interested" in guys but it didn’t quite feel right. Next I found the word cupioromantic which was you don't feel romantic attraction but you still desire a romantic relationship. I wore that label for a short time but once again it wasn’t quite right. Every time the possibility of a relationship into my life I ran cause I didn’t want it. Next I found lithromantic which is you feel romantic attraction but as soon as its reciprocated it goes away. I thought hey that’s it! But I finally I took a very hard look at myself and my interactions with people and what it was I actually did feel and decided that I was truly aromantic. I just didn’t want to be labeled as such because I was a huge romantic and I felt like this label meant I couldn’t have one. It took a while but now I know that isn’t true at all. I know now that I don’t actually want a relationship but I want the closeness with someone that being in a relationship entails. I can get that with friends. I went through the times I thought I had felt romantic attraction and tried to fit them into the attractions above. What I felt for that one girl in my English history course? Yeah that was platonic? That actor I think is super hot? That's aesthetic. I'd love to just cuddle with and be touched by my one friend? Sensual. The one guy I dated? Yeah I only dated him because he liked me not because I felt anything for him.

Other things that helped me realize I don’t feel romantic attraction:

I have had one boyfriend my entire life (high school, lasted 10 months) and I hated it. I didn’t like holding hands with him. He asked to kiss me and I told him no. I thought (still do) that kissing was gross and no way did I want to do that. I hated when he kissed my cheek or held me too long. I didn’t understand his strong emotions toward me nor did I understand why people dated. I didn’t get it. I didn’t like it.

I have had fake crushes/faked “they’re hot, would totally hit that” because I thought i was supposed to feel that way about people. Everyone had crushes or wanted to kiss and have sex with someone else. I never did. Didn’t get it.

I thought a crush was someone you chose. Like, I thought you went “That guy/girl is funny and nice. I now decide to have a crush on him.” But apparently that is not true at all.

I have no desire to get married or date. In fact I prefer to live my life without it.

I’ve never looked at someone and felt or developed what can be described as romantic feelings.

Those times I thought I did were really just platonic feelings. I wanted to be their friend. Not their girlfriend.

I think whumperflies are the closest I’ve ever come to feeling something akin to sexual attraction but I personally don’t classify it as sexual attraction. I also get that feeling seeing someone get comforted and being soft and affection and wanting that. For me, I think that’s me being touch starved af. I’d love to have someone to cuddle with and have it not be sexual or romantic. Sounds like maybe you do too. And that’s okay :)

Based on your words and feelings I'd suggest you take a look at the following terms. They might help you pin down how you feel. They certainly helped me

Demisexual/Demiromantic: where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.

Gray Asexual/Gray Romantic: in which a person may only experience sexual attraction on occasion

Sex repulsed/neutral/positive: How you feel towards sex and/or having sex. You can be positive about it, feel repulsed by sex and sexual acts, or be completely neutral about it

Sexual attraction: looking at someone and wanting to have sexual content with them.

Romantic attraction: wanting to have a romantic relationship with a certain person.

Aesthetic attraction: thinking someone is pleasing to look at. Appreciating their appearance.

Sensual attraction: wanting to touch/cuddle/be physically close to a person.

Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with a person

To me it sounds like you could be demi or gray but it’s ultimately up to you. If you feel like any of those terms fit you then don’t be afraid to accept that label. And if you change your mind as you learn more about your self and want to use a different label then that’s totally cool! Like I said, I went through 4 different romantic labels before finding one that fit. Try things on and see how it feels for you.

I also suggest checking out some of these blogs because I found them really helpful. @asexualityexists @asexualfacts @asexualawarenessweek @acejokes @thehumorousace @outer-space-aro-ace @a-spec-tacular @life-of-an-asexual

You can also feel free to scroll through my main blog asexual tag if you want. http://thewanderingace.tumblr.com/tagged/asexual

I don’t know if any of this was helpful or not but if you have any other questions don’t be afraid to message me! I’m happy to help where I can!

#ask #submission #mod replies #not whump #asexual #asexuality #mod post

[knife-dad]

Queen's Thief Ace-spec Headcanons

As requested by @throwaninkpot!

Helen is Demiromantic and Demisexual and she genuinely didn't realize how deep her feelings were for Sophos until the day he returned to Sounis.

The Magus is Aro/Ace and has always been perfectly content with being single. Sophos once asked why he never married and the Magus answered that he felt he was too busy for that sort of thing, and never felt the need for it anyway.

Kamet is Asexual and sex repulsed but also touch starved as heck. It will take him a long time to work up the courage to ask for platonic affection, but once he feels safe with someone he will constantly lean on or hold hands with them.

Costis is Ace. He's just super Ace and that whole scene in the garden was his worst nightmare on so many levels

Attolia is gray Aro/Ace and uncomfortable with this part of her identity. She is sometimes frustrated by the fact that she is unable to establish the kind of "standard" romantic relationship she's seen take place with others. She sometimes worries that she really is as cold and inhuman as people have said. Opening up and learning to accept this part of her identity is a long journey, but she's not doing it alone.

Bonus:

Gen is definitely Something™ (probably gray ace and bi) but he hates labels and enjoys making everyone wonder about him. He's also secretly rather relieved when Attolia expresses a need for boundaries within their relationship, but that's neither here nor there in his mind.

#queen's thief #qt headcanons #im a little scared of posting this tbh #but you know what? if everyone else gets to project on their faves then so do i. #text posts to the void

[svartalfhild]

Today, for Ace Week, I’m going to talk about issues surrounding asexuality and relationships and my experiences in that area.  For me, that’s more of a Lack Thereof situation, though.  I also want to touch on some non-romantic types of relationships, like ace friendships and bi/ace solidarity.

Being a romantically inclined asexual is a fucking trip and a half, y’all.  I’m also demiromantic, so that adds a layer of difficulty and confusion to everything.  It’s hard to understand your own attraction to people, let alone explain it to others, when there’s so much nuance involved.

It seems like a pretty common experience for aces is the deep fear that no one will want you because you’re ace, or that an existing relationship will fall apart because of it.  I definitely feel that way most of the time.  Sure, there are lots of people out there who say that they’d date an ace, but I often wonder how many of them actually genuinely mean it.  Like when the cards are all on the table, are they going to really be fine with the idea still?  Sex seems so important to so many people that it’s become hard to imagine many allosexuals being entirely fine with the notion of a partner who’s not attracted to them in that way and may even be sex-repulsed. 

Aces are often told that they shouldn’t date people who aren’t also ace, because supposedly if you do that, you’re trapping them in an unfulfilling relationship.  Some people even go as far as to call it abusive, and that’s quite upsetting, especially when you internalize that idea and can’t shake the feeling that you can’t be with someone without hurting them.

On top of that, aces who are in relationships that are perceived as straight have to deal with the heavy challenges to their queerness.  Exclusionists love to bring out that “cishet aces” idea and claim that aces are just straight people who don’t like sex, which is all kinds of incorrect, but it’s how they rally other queer people behind the notion that aces don’t belong in the community.  Aces in the relationships perceived as straight get held up as proof of that bullshit.

Then there’s the aroaces who get pressured by society to engage in relationships, which is rough af.  I know less about that struggle, since I have romantic attraction, but I’m very aware that it exists, and society needs to be open to the idea that some people are fully content with living a sex and romance free life.

I’m personally most familiar with the struggles of feeling unwanted and unwelcome.  Being anxious and depressed all the time really does not help on that front and it sort of becomes an osmosis of bad feelings.  I’ve found it’s easier to fight back against feeling unwelcome, because there are plenty of people in the community who are willing to show you support and affirm that you belong.  Feeling unwanted, though.  That’s a more complicated and personal issue that can’t easily be resolved without first putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.

Sometimes finding comfort in solidarity between ace friends can be difficult, because the ace spectrum is so wide and varied that two ace people can share an identity but have fundamentally different perspectives on the ace experience that make it hard to connect in certain ways.  I’ve noticed, for example, that there’s often a difference in ace humor tastes between romantic and aromantic aces, which can lead to some awkwardness if the difference wasn’t anticipated.  It seems easiest for aces to connect when talking about experiences they’ve had facing society’s expectations.  That’s the same line of connection where bisexual solidarity with asexuals comes in, because both groups face heavy erasure and that “you’re either straight and looking for attention or gay and in denial” nastiness that gets pulled out all the time.

I guess my advice for allos who want to be supportive of aces in this area is that you should try to be aware that these are the sorts of things we face and that dating looks like a minefield to us a lot of the time.  If you’ve got feelings for an ace in your life, please be aware of the types anxieties aces are likely to have if you want to pursue that relationship.

#aceweek #asexuality #long post #sorry that this is kinda rambly #it's more a collection of thoughts than a proper essay

[vexie-chan]

Hi I heard you say ace Caleb that is my headcanon and I’m very curious what you meant by the implications?

Ah man!! Strap in, friend. This is a favorite topic of mine.

So I have two parts to this headcanon/theory situation here.

From the beginning, I've gotten serious ace vibes from Caleb, mostly because he's so cautious with his physical affection. While he doesn't seem repulsed by sexual activity (he reads smut and is way on board to make innuendos. He also encouraged Fjord to bang Avantika but more on that in a minute) but is far less inclined to make physical advances and is uncomfortable with 99% of touching. All of his touching is very platonic and with only specific people.

I also had a weird suspicion that he wasn't always that way. He used to dance, specifically with Astrid which leads one to wonder how physical their relationship was. There is also the entry on Liam's Caleb playlist: Heart of Glass by Blondie/Philip Glass. Liam's commentary for this song is "Love and Sex at Soltryce Academy". I feel pretty safe in inferring that he had at least one physical relationship in his youth.

So Bren did the dirty, Caleb doesn't. I think a lot of this is very tied into his trauma. On the one hand (and I -think- Liam has spoken to this though I can't recall for sure?) He's very simply too broken to get into a relationship. His mind is in a million pieces and he recognizes that he's in no position to get with anyone. He also doesn't believe he's deserving of pleasure or comfort or the positive things that one would receive from a physical relationship. It's very possibly another form of self punishment.

I think there's also a lot of his self hatred holding him back. Why would anyone want to be with him? Further, it would be a major sin for him to expose someone else to the toxicity that would be a relationship with someone as disgusting as him.

And that kind of leads into the second/newer part of my Ace Caleb theory. A lot of people are talking about how Caleb was very possibly trained as a honeypot and I am sooo behind this.

Back when Fjord was considering whether to sleep with Avantika, Caleb seemed all for it but from a very utilitarian standpoint. This decision had nothing to do with like or dislike or romance. It was a political move to get Fjord deeper into her trust and to possibly gain more information about her. Sex is a tool that can be used.

There's a lot of discussion about him treating Essek similarly. He's notices that Essek might be interested and is willing to pursue and use that interest for the good of his magic and favor for the team. This is literally the only time we see him using any kind of flirtation. Every other advance, playful or otherwise, has been handled very awkwardly. (I wish liam had been present for Reani to interact with more, since Mica had said she'd been into both empire kids). But here, there's a purpose. There's a good reason to play this part. That's what I'm thinking about from spoilers.

Caleb has become very aware of the things that have been done to him and taught to him. He would be aware of his own training toward sexuality. This would be one of the awful parts of him that he's rejecting. He knows that his views aren't right, and refrains from participating most of the time. So while there could be some trauma of knowing the things he's done (if, in fact, he was using sexuaity as a method of coercing/manipulation), he could alsp be consciously abstaining to prevent his earlier behavior.

So yeah! I think Caleb re:sex is very complicated. But those are my thoughts on Ace Caleb.

Lol my friend and I have been team Ace Caleb since very early on, but we're constantly bickering because he also thinks Caleb is Aro and I don't. I think he's very Demiromantic but once someone enters the Demi "Safe Zone", he's an old romantic at heart. (See: my entire Widojest argument. Which i haven't written out lol)

#critical role #caleb widogast #critical role meta #caleb meta #vexie asks #ace caleb

[cruising-on-pirate-dreams]

Assorted LGBT Headcanons

I have two ways of seeing the Strawhats and a select few of their allies: The way they are in canon but mostly I see them by the personal headcanons listed below. Most of which I constructed with @mugiwaranofuckyou

This is a post for future reference, fanfic stats, and as a conversation starter.

-------~~~-------

Luffy:

Trans - FtM

Gay

Asexual (sex-repulsed when it comes to himself being touched, doesn’t have an issue otherwise)

Zoro:

Male

Gay

Demiromantic

Sanji:

Gender Fluid. He/Him pronouns for the sake of his comfort and familiarity (he’s a sensitive dumpling that doesn’t do well with new things)

Bisexual, leans towards men (but overcompensates to ward off the feelings)

Nami:

Female

Lesbian

Usopp:

Male

Straight

Robin:

Trans - MtF (She worked hard for her boobs so she’s gonna show them off!)

Bisexual

Franky:

Male

Pan but leans towards women

Brook:

Male

Straight

Jinbe: 

Male

Too old to be worrying about labels. Love comes when it will.

Ace:

Trans - FtM

Gay

Sabo:

Male

Bisexual

Vivi:

Female

Lesbian

Kohza:

Male

Aromantic

Asexual

Conis:

Female

Lesbian

#one piece #LGBT+ one piece #Wraith Queen Radio || Zaira Speaks

[lifeasabpdmum-blog]

Asexuality the invisible sexual orientation.

a·sex·u·al

 (ā-sĕk′sho͞o-əl)

adj.

1.

Having no evident sex or sex organs; sexless.

2.

Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction that occurs without the union of male and female gametes, as inbinary fission or budding.

3.

Relating to or being a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

n.

A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

Many people hear the word “asexual” and make assumptions about what it means. They think of single-celled organisms in a petri dish. They think of a celibate monk on far off mountaintop. They think of a genderless robot from outer space. Asexuality isn’t any of those things.In particular: 1. Asexuality is not an abstinence pledge. (Although there may be abstinent aces.) 2. Asexuality is not a synonym for celibacy. (There are celibate aces and promiscuous aces and aces everywhere in between.)...

Asexual people are often ostracized, even pitted for their sexual orientation,

Asexual peope often feel out of place due to lack of knowledge,  

Asexual people do not need your pity they need understanding. 

 ASEXUALITY IS NOT A DISORDER IT IS AN ORIENTATION: 

  “Sex repulsion is a different angle than asexuality. Aces can have and enjoy sex, the primary determination is that we don't have sexual attraction, our romantic draw to a person does not include "want to have sex" in its parameters” Tweeted to me by @CelticAnarchy 

“Its kind of a spectrum, Some like sex but aren’t sexually attracted. Some are okay with sex and aren’t sexually attracted, some are repulsed. Some are just iffy” Tweeted to me by @inalovelyrose 

“You can be ace and have sex, and not even enjoy it. But generally  means its not something you’ll typically seek out, and theres a good chance that you wont find it as rewarding as others” Tweeted to me by @BlueJayGliding

 FIFTEEN COMMON SIGNS YOU MAY BE ASEXUAL 

1. When you were younger, or even now you find sex “yucky” 

2.  Sex scenese on tv might make you uncomfortable, angry or irritate you. 

3. Thinking People are being over the top about what sex is like ( I actually relate to this one, It definitely as amazing as i was told it was going to be) 

4. Having sex is not a big deal to you, if you did not have sex again it wouldnt bother you. ( I also relate to this one) 

5. you can only see yourself having sex with a close theoretical or real partner. 

6. Sexualized places like clubs make you uncomfortable ( This one also really relates to me 

7. You feel nervous about having a relationship, because you feel sex would be expected of you. 

8. You feel like you never “ bloomed” 

9. Your relationship fantasies all include non sexual behavior ( This is something else that relates to me. 

10. You struggle to understand the term sexual attraction 

11. Other people finding you sexually attractive weirds  you out.  (This is 100 percent me) 

12. You have considered remaining celibate forever. 

13. You clicked on a video called “ YOU MIGHT BE ASEXUAL SPECTRUM”  (will put link to this video below) 

14. googling the identity 

15. Only you can decide if you are Asexual 

Link to the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dFkKg7Ly1I

it most definitely is not a Phase.  It is not something tumblr made up, No Asexuals just have not found the right person. It doesn't mean they will change after loosing their virginity or having sex with someone “Who knows what they are doing” It is not unfair to their partner or selfish. 

A Video called Growing up Asexual https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsNUezlG8A

@sofftestpunk on twitter described to me that Asexuality (if hunger is sexual desire) you wouldn't necessarily want to eat, or crave food. You may still eat food, but not because you are hungry or enjoy it.But you can still eat. Just like Asexuals can still have sexual intercourse, but maybe wouldn't enjoy it. 

Does not experience  sexual attraction regardless to gender.  Ace used to be a phonetic abbreviation of asexual, but is now considered an umbrella term  including asexual, demisexual,greysexual, ect.  Aromantics are those individuals who dont experience romantic attraction,  they can have platonic love for other individuals, but it may not be so lovey dovey. 

 There are a number of terms that are used for people who dont use the asexual spectrum 

Allosexual: is possibly the most common and popular terms 

Zedsexual:  n. An alternative term for allosexuality. Zedsexuality, though much less common a term than allosexuality, is sometimes preferred because the latter was originally coined in opposition to autosexuality.

Demisexual: becomes sexually attracted once a close bond is formed,

DemiRomantic you might be sexually attracted, but arent romantically attracted until after you form an emotional bond ( I believe this is what I am) 

 Greysexuality: People who are Greysexual typically experience sexual attraction rarely, or only under certain conditions. They may even just not be sure if they experience sexual attraction 

Greyromatic: Would experience romance rarely or certain conditions.

AceFlux: An acefux person has a fluctuating sexual orientation, That stays within the ace spectrum. 

AroFlux: would likley fluctuate between the ARomantic 

Quorisexual/romantic:  Quorisexual may not understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction may not understand the difference between romantic or platonic attraction 

Akoisexual: experiencing sexual attraction without the desire of reciprocation

Acoiromatic: experiencing romantic attraction without the desire of reciprocation.

CupioSexual:  Doesnt have a romantic desire but still may have a romatic attraction.

CupioRomatic:  the same thing as CupioSexual but switch sexual to romantic.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQVvVhe6EPc where i  got the infomation

TYPES OF ATTRACTION 

Sexual Attraction: Physical and psychological want for Sexual contact with someone. The want of intercourse or sexual act with somebody.

Romantic Attraction: Emotional and Psychological attraction or interaction with a person.

Often sexual and romantic attraction is complementary and can line up for a lot of different people, but its not the same for everyone. 

Platonic Attraction: You want to be close to them, but not necessarily Romantically or Sexually. 

Sensual Attraction: If you are Sensually attracted to someone you may be attracted to their smell, for example. Or you might want to touch them,Or touched by them. Cuddle, Hold hands, Kiss, For some sensual, may come hand in hand with other attraction, Such as Sensual and Sexual, or Sensual and Romantic. It may also happen independently. It can even come as Sensual and Platonic. Sensual and Sexual are not the same thing. 

Aesthetic Attraction: An appreciation for someones appearance, without linking that feeling towards sex. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o-l20NAsI8 Is the link to all the attraction information I found. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQnC89Er1lo  This video might make things easier to come out, It is called the person who sent you this is Asexual 

These photos are of polls I did on twitter that have been answered by asexuals themselves

#asexual #asexuality #lgbt pride #demisexual #demiromantic #lgbtq community

[hxlfsoul]

and in relation to those, some more important things which translate across ALL verses. Please note there are some mentions of and examples of mental illness & aphobic comments in this post, but nothing too extreme.

Shoto is a sex-repulsed ace. Even the idea of it is something he dislikes so if he ever hears anyone - his own age or not - talking about it, he’s sure to walk away as soon as the conversation starts. Sometimes, this may stop him getting into a relationship with someone if he is aware they may want something physical, as he doesn’t want to worry about whether he’s enough for someone constantly.

He has yet to experience any comments about it and it being invalid / wrong, but he also has yet to tell anyone about his sexuality in fear of such things. He doesn’t tell people about being ace as he doesn’t want any comments about how it’s abnormal, how he’s simply mentally ill (and while he does suffer from depression, anxiety and CPTSD, he dislikes comments like this) or other, more unsavoury comments/harassment attempts.

While he doesn’t fear this from friends - rationally, at least - he is worried they may tell other people who won’t react with support, which is what ultimately leads him to keep quiet about it. Even going into a relationship, he is unlikely to tell his partner for a long time - sometimes, this may be a few months in, others it may be when they’re engaged.

While he has some preference towards male friends, he does date women too - really, it depends on how they feel to him. Sometimes, an emotional connection he may perceive as romantic isn’t, so he isn’t likely to tell someone how he feels until he’s figured it out. He mixes up platonic and romantic feelings at times, so he wouldn’t want to be the person who dates someone only to figure out they’re more like a sibling to him.

He does operate on a one strike and you’re out type of way with people in his life. Most likely, if you break his trust, he’ll cut you off completely - if someone is remorseful and apologies, he might consider letting them back in, depending on what they did. 

Some days he will refuse any touch. He has days where touch is terrifying to him, often correlating with poor mental health on said days, and where he cannot handle it. If someone touches him after being told he doesn’t want to be touched, he will lash out physically out of habit, so please respect his boundaries.

Part of the reason he’s worried about his asexuality is the knowledge he may be expected by his father to continue the Todoroki lineage with a strong quirk, considering Endeavor made that a goal of his. He doesn’t want him to find out and react adversely, regardless of what his actual reaction would be.

If he’s told someone and they say anything that is aphobic (i.e “but how do you know?” or “you might change your mind later, right?”) he is very unlikely to speak to them again. He dislikes being referred to as broken or indecisive in this context, as his sexuality of asexual demiromantic is something he has put a lot of thought into and is most comfortable calling himself versus other similar sexualities.

For a time, he did believe he may be aromantic. In threads where he has not got any romantic interests canon to that thread, he may still believe himself to be. This is part of why he has issues telling how he feels, because he isn’t sure if he’s feeling a strong platonic attraction (a friend crush, to be simple) or a weak romantic attraction or the difference between them. 

He’s worried to hurt people if his supposedly romantic feelings do turn out to be platonic, as he understands that a break up like that can be painful for some people and he doesn’t want to lose an ex-partner as his close friend, either.

His decision of demiromantic often comes after sorting out his first romantic crush on someone, as they would be someone close to him and he does not often find anyone he isn’t close to physically attractive at all subjectively. When he calls his classmates pretty, most of the time this is objective and he gets flustered about it because he has noticed for most people, that is their response to calling someone beautiful - even though with others, it is subjectively and their opinion, while with Shoto it is objectively and what he has observed people find pretty.. There is a slight difference there.

He took a long time to find the terms he was looking for and feel comfortable with them. For a time, he did look at the gender identity of agender / non-binary, as he is not a particularly masculine person in a sense, but found himself more comfortable to think of himself as cis. However, that may change if he ever found himself uncomfortable with that, as gender identity can be very fluid for teenagers - as well as hard to decipher. 

Aside from this, he refuses to let people label him with terms such as ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bi’ as, while he does not view them as invalid, he isn’t either of these, as they often imply the presence of sexual attraction and do not completely match his sexuality. Being called that by anyone - or having a relationship he is in referred to as ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ - will be met with annoyance.

#007. ideas for you — headcanons #so yeah this is #a more in depth post on his sexuality #i hope all of this made sense? #and nothing sounded like #discriminatory or anything? #because i'm pretty bad at explaining #and that is the last way i want to sound #while discussing this stuff #as his sexuality in specific is very personal to me #as its also my own sexuality