#two weeks that ive been able to catch a break

[angelicyoongie]

Abundance (XIX)

— summary: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don't get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, it turns out crazy is an understatement.

— pairing: hybrid bts x human f!reader — genre: fluff, angst, smut — warnings/content: explicit sexual content! handjob (lol), mild sub!tae vibes — word count: 8.3k Part: I / II / III / IV / V / VI / VII / VIII / IX / X / XI / Find more chapters here!

Early access to chapter 20 and 21 can be found in the author’s note at the end!

You squirm, grumbling in your sleep, as a hot puff of air hits your throat. Twisting your head to the side does little to deter the ticklish sensation, something soft brushing along the slope of your neck.

The comfortable weight resting over your hips won’t allow you to flip over on your side to escape, but you’re too warm and cosy to bother opening your eyes to find out who’s keeping you trapped.

You’re being scented gently, almost timidly, and it slowly begins to lull you back to sleep.

The tender motion of someone nosing at your throat and nuzzling against your skin in the morning has become familiar to you by now, as it’s a certain bunny hybrid’s favourite way of waking you up.

The weight on your middle shifts, and you reach blindly for long soft ears as you mutter out a slurred, "-Jeongguk?" 

You get a short, petulant whine in response, a set of sharp canines nipping at your throat. 

"I’m not a bunny." 

The bite isn’t hard enough to break skin but it startles you all the same, any chance of falling back asleep washed away as you blearily open your eyes. You blink once, twice, as the halo of deep orange blocking your vision begins to shift into focus.

Taehyung’s messy hair is falling into his face from where he’s perched over your hips, his hands resting besides your shoulders, caging you in. He peers down at you with dark, unreadable eyes, fox ears flattened to his head. 

"Tae?" You murmur, drowsy and confused.

You stifle a yawn behind your hand, tiredly rubbing your eyes. It feels like you’ve awoken from a long coma, your body heavy with exhaustion.

The last week has been intense to say the least, all the work you missed by helping Seokjin and Jeongguk with their ruts practically being shoved down your throat the moment you stepped back inside your office. 

You’ve been pulling sixteen hour days for a week to catch up, only coming home to sleep and wash up before hurrying back to the firm. It’s been miserable and you’ve missed the boys terribly, but the hard work has thankfully paid off. All of your less important cases have been dealt with and now you have the entire weekend off to spend time with them. 

Taehyung's face twists at the sound of his name. His voice is meek, little more than a whimper, as he asks, "Are you disappointed that it’s me? If you’d rather have Jeongguk here, I can go get him."

The look Taehyung gives you makes your heart ache something fierce, the little distance between the two of you suddenly feeling much too far. 

"What? No, Taehyung, of course not!" You scramble to push yourself up on your elbows, shocked that he would ever think so.

You reach up to gently cup his face in your hand, smoothing your thumb across his cheek as you try to catch his gaze. Taehyung leans into your touch, a sad pout pulling on his lips as he noses against your wrist, breathing in your scent.

His eyes flicker up to meet yours before he looks away, his shoulders hunching with hesitation as he quietly asks, "Show me?"

It hits you then, just how inattentive you’ve been to the other boys after Seokjin and Jeongguk’s rut passed. You were intimate with one pack and then practically disappeared for a week. It’s no wonder Taehyung feels insecure, you haven’t been able to reassure him or his instincts that you want him just as much as the rest.

The realization feels like a punch to the gut.

You should’ve seeked him out sooner to make sure he was okay, to make sure he felt wanted, especially when the incident with Jeongguk and the weasel hybrids is still such a fresh wound.

"Oh, Tae," You let out a quiet breath, covering the guilt simmering under your skin with a tender smile. "I’ll show you as many times as you need me to."

You slowly guide his face towards your own, your fingers following the curve of his jaw until you have your thumb pressed against the mole on his lower lip.

Taehyung's ears do a curious twitch as you gently pull on the flesh, parting his mouth to make room for your own. His breath hitches as you lean in, a sweet little eager sound leaving his lips as you press a chaste peck against them. 

Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed as you kiss him again, his cheeks flushing pink as you murmur a soft handsome into his skin. The fox hybrid’s tail swishes happily back and forth behind his back as you pepper light kisses everywhere you can reach, from his jaw to the tip of his nose.

Taehyung chases after your mouth when you draw back, capturing it in another kiss. He immediately tries to deepen it, tongue brushing against your lips in hopes that you’ll let him in. You willingly part them, licking into his mouth as the fox hybrid melts against your body, his stomach vibrating with low content purrs. 

You curl one hand around Taehyung’s neck, cupping the back of his head as the other settles on his shoulder, pulling him closer.

Taehyung lets out a soft moan as you kiss him with a little more intent, more passion, too distracted by your lips to notice how your eyes flutter open. He doesn’t seem to mind that you awkwardly throw a leg over his back, the duvet impeding your full range of motion.

The wet smack of your lips disconnecting as you pull back makes the simmering heat in your belly flare up. Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow as he loses your touch, his rosy lips puckering subconsciously as he blindly seeks you out.

You can hear the telltale signs of a whine building in his throat but before he can get too upset, you tighten your hold around his body, using the leg you have over his hip as leverage to flip him over.

Taehyung stares up at you with big eyes as he finds himself pressed against the bed. His orange hair is splayed around him on your pillow, looking messy and wild after your wandering hands.

The pure surprise on his face makes you giggle.

You peck his cheek, pulling back just in time as your hands settle on his waist, fingertips lightly tickling his sides. Taehyung jerks forward, a burst of laughter leaving his mouth as his brain catches up with what your unrelenting hands are doing.

"Y/n, ah–!" He wheezes, squirming on the bed as he tries to escape from the light touches fluttering all over his torso. A mischievous grin settles on your mouth as you realize the leg around Taehyung’s waist is keeping him trapped, the fox hybrid having no other option but to endure your tickling.

Taehyung’s bright laughter fills your bedroom, the infectious sound making you join in as you watch him attempt to shimmy away from your wiggling fingers.

He squeaks as you find a particularly sensitive spot on his stomach, his tail whipping wildly against the bed. The array of snorts and cackles that Taehyung lets out is like music to your ears, the insecure and vulnerable look in his eye nowhere to be found as they scrunch up with laughter. 

There’s a new glow to the fox hybrid’s golden skin when he manages to capture one of your hands, trapping it against his chest. He flashes you a bright grin as you futilely try to yank it back, using the moment to catch his breath after your intense onslaught.

You pout, zeroing in on his exposed neck. As you shift your weight, ready to lean forward in hopes that tickling his neck will free your trapped fingers – Taehyung seems to read your mind. Something wild flickers in his gaze before he surges up, the sudden burst of energy throwing you off balance. In a flash, you find yourself back where you started, Taehyung once again hovering over you. 

Your attempts to wrestle him back down are useless, his limbs rooted in place even as you try with all of your might to flip him back over. Your struggling does little but get rid of the duvet, the thick blanket kicked aside as you squirm and huff under Taehyung’s body. His bare legs are flush against yours, warm, as the heat from his skin seeps into yours. 

"Tae," You whine, finally flopping down with an exhausted sigh as you realize you have no chance of overpowering him. 

"What?" Taehyung tilts his head, blinking down at you with faux innocence. His ears are standing straight with attention, twitching with every little sound you release. 

You give him an unimpressed look, eyeing how his tail lazily swishes behind his back in victory. 

Taehyung snickers, his expression melting into something a bit more smug – pleased, as he takes in your ruffled appearance. "You’re the one that wanted to play. It’s not my fault you’re a sore loser." 

You roll your eyes, suppressing the smile tugging at your lips.

"Well … You’re too strong! Frankly, it’s a little–" You raise your hips up in an attempt to flip him again, your brain stuttering as the movement causes you to bump against something hard, "–unfair?"  

Taehyung lets out a soft moan at the contact, eyelashes fluttering as he ducks his head. 

"Are you…?" You trail off. Your cheeks grow warm at Taehyung’s weak nod. 

"It’s my instincts," He admits in a low whine, arms flexing as he digs his fingers into the mattress. "I can’t help it. You were acting like prey, uh, squirming around like that. " 

You hum under your breath, taking a moment to collect your thoughts as you rub your hands up Taehyung’s arms, feeling his muscles strain under your touch.

You have to admit that Taehyung getting turned on by your little wrestling match is, well, hot. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him being affected by his instincts but the fox hybrid seems to think otherwise, his ears pulled back in shame. 

You simply refuse to allow him to think so lowly of himself.

"Can I touch you?" You ask. You slowly drag your hands up from Taehyung's arms to his chest, resting your palm above the harsh thud of his heart.

"Do you really want to?" Taehyung’s dark eyes shine with uncertainty as they meet yours. 

"Yes."

You keep your gaze locked on his, making sure your intent is clear as you raise your hips just enough to brush against his hard cock.

Taehyung’s arms wobble at the contact. A low keen leaves his mouth as his hips jerk automatically, chasing your body for more friction. 

Your circle one arm around his back, pushing between his shoulder blades to bring him closer. Taehyung scrambles to comply, making room for himself between your legs as you pull him into another kiss. He moans as your hand trails from his chest to his stomach, the light scrape of your nails making him shiver. 

The short second you pause as you reach the waistband of Taehyung’s shorts has him breaking away from the kiss, panting against your mouth as he whines out a desperate please. 

You steal a peek at his face, just to make sure he’s still okay as your hand slides under the elastic and the sight that greets you almost knocks the breath out of your chest.

Taehyung looks wrecked. His skin is flushed, burning hot, eyes glossy with want as he rasps out another plea for you to do more. 

His mouth falls open as you lightly rub the head of his leaking cock, hips buckling as you reach down to grasp him properly. The cramped angle is a little awkward but Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind it, whines and moans filling the air between you as you pump his length.

The slide of your hand is loud, lewd, in the otherwise quiet room. You thumb at his leaking tip with every upstroke, collecting the steady dribbles of precome in your hand to make the glide easier.

Taehyung moves against your fist, whimpering, as your slick palm forms a hot and wet hole for him to thrust into. 

"S-so good, fuck," Taehyung growls as you tighten your hand, squeezing around his throbbing cock. He dives down to recapture your mouth, the kiss sloppy and hungry as he nibbles at your lips. 

You’re hot and flustered, dizzy almost, from having Taehyung so close. You can’t see his cock but you can feel it – how sensitive it is, how well it responds to every little thing you do. You swallow thickly at the steady stream of whimpers leaving Taehyung’s mouth, the fox hybrid following your lead so well it drives you a little crazy.  

When you stroke faster, Taehyung snaps his hips quicker. When you tighten your hold to massage the base of his cock, he slows down, whimpering but complying. He’s just so eager to please.

It makes your mind stray places it shouldn’t, heat pooling in your belly as you wonder just how obedient he can be for you. Lost in thought, your grip grows a little slack, and the steady pressure around Taehyung’s frantic thrusts disappears with it. 

The fox hybrid’s body stutters, a distressed chirp leaving his lips as he mouths over your cheek.

"Y-n, please, please–" 

"Sorry, Tae, I got you," You whisper.

You slide the hand on his shoulder to the nape of his neck, burying your fingers into the soft orange locks there. You tug lightly at his hair, increasing the speed and pressure around his cock.

Taehyung’s stomach tenses with every brush of your knuckles against his skin, his release so so close. 

Taehyung nudges your head back, biting into the delicate skin on your throat with more force than normal. He soothes it immediately with his tongue, the wet drag leaving a delicious sting behind. 

"You’re doing so well for me, Tae," You breathe, choking on a moan as he repeats the action with even more fervour. You can see his tail swishing madly behind his back, high keens filling the back of his throat with every stroke of your slicked fist.

Taehyung is trembling, his whole body taut as he strains to keep up with your hand.

You suck your bottom lip between your teeth, confused, as another flurry of choked pleads suddenly falls from his mouth. There’s nothing stopping him from coming, and yet he’s holding back – waiting – for something. 

Taking a leap of faith, you use the grip on his hair to angle his head up, bringing his ear close to your mouth. You press a sweet kiss to his earlobe, tightening your fist around his cock before you murmur out a quiet, "Good boy." 

Taehyung’s head snaps back with a gravelly, desperate moan as his body tips over the edge. His hips stutter as he grinds into your palm, shuddering as ropes of come spill from his cock. 

You relax your grip, gently stroking him through his release as another spurt drips past your fist, pooling on your stomach. The sensation makes your core throb.

You tamp down the urge to grind against the leg Taehyung has pressed against you, forcing your gaze to wander from his blissed out expression to the dull colour of your wall instead. This was about making Taehyung feel good, wanted – your own needs can wait. 

Taehyung’s head lolls back down as you release his cock, lightly trailing your fingertips along his shaft one last time before you let your hand fall away. His breaths are heavy, chest heaving as he tries to recover from his intense orgasm. 

You tuck Taehyung's face back into your neck, smoothing your fingers through his hair and scratching at the base of his ears as you wait for his breathing to slow down. He nuzzles into your skin, happy rumbles trickling from his chest as he noses against the marks he left there. 

"How do you feel?" You hum. 

"‘m feeling good," Taehyung mumbles against your throat, his bushy tail giving a few lazy flicks against your leg. 

Your smile quickly morphs into a grimace as you shift a little to your side, noticing how the wetness on your stomach has started to cool. You gently nudge at Taehyung’s waist, pressing a peck to the side of his head as you say, "Let me clean us up a little." 

Taehyung lets out a small whine in protest, but another nudge has him tipping sideways, rolling on to his side. You reach out for the tissues on your bedside table while Taehyung curls an arm over your chest, pulling himself flush against your body. 

Making quick work of the sticky substance on your skin, you turn to Taehyung, gently cleaning him up as best you can while he happily scents your shoulder. 

You bunch the tissues up, throwing them in what you hope was the thud of your trash bin.

Turning back to the fox hybrid plastered against your side, you bring a hand up to frame his face, kissing him softly. Taehyung melts pliantly into it, letting you keep the rhythm unhurried and tender as you both wind down. 

A few minutes pass of Taehyung being putty under your lips before he suddenly jerks back, eyes big as his ear twitches in the direction of your door. 

He listens to the footsteps coming up the stairs, a sheepish smile blooming on his red-bitten lips as he confesses, "I was supposed to come and wake you up for breakfast." 

You snort, shaking your head as Taehyung grabs your hands to haul you up. 

"You can blame it on me," You grin, smoothing out Taehyung’s sleepwear to the best of your abilities. You both really need to get cleaned up and changed before you see the rest of the boys for breakfast. 

Taehyung leans closer, his dark eyes sparkling with sincerity as he murmurs, "Thank you, Y/n." 

"Always," You smile.

Taehyung surges forward to plant a wet smack against your cheek, giggling at the startled sound you make as he scoots off the bed. He hurries to the door, throwing a bright grin your way and a rushed "hurry downstairs!" before the door clicks shut behind him. 

You throw a fond look at the closed door as you get out of bed, happy that you accomplished your goal. You know it'll take more to make sure Taehyung feels confident in your relationship, but you hope it’s a start on the path to make him feel secure and loved. 

Letting out a small sigh, you grab a change of clothes from your dresser. You have a lot to make up for, with both him and the rest of the guys.

You shuffle across the room, twisting the door open as you bend your neck, satisfying little pops cracking in your ears as you try to loosen up the tightness there. Your head is nearly touching your shoulder when you find yourself face to face with Yoongi, the cat hybrid tilting his own accordingly until he meets your eyes.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi raises his eyebrows, amused. 

You straighten your neck, rolling your shoulder back as you ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks.

"Stretching," You pout. 

"Why? Are you tense?" Yoongi steps closer, curling a slender hand behind your neck. He frowns as he gently digs his fingertips into your muscles, eyeing your expression as he skillfully massages the sore area.

You feel your eyes flutter as he reaches a particularly sore spot.

Maybe you strained your neck a little too much with Taehyung, but how could you not devour those pretty pink lips when they were right in front of you? 

"Ah," Yoongi muses, tilting your head, "I guess this is why." 

You suck in a breath as he presses his thumb against one of the fresh marks on your throat.

Yoongi lets out a displeased rumble as he studies the faint bruising blooming on your skin, tail flicking with annoyance behind his back. The grip around your neck tightens just a smidge, just enough to lock you in place as he leans in.

Yoongi regards you with narrowed eyes, pupils pulled into thin slits as he takes in your dishevelled appearance. It almost makes you feel like a scruffed kitten, like he caught you doing something naughty.

"I wanted to see what was taking the fox so long, but–" Yoongi’s nostrils flare as he sniffs around your neck, a low hiss sounding under his breath as he moves lower, a particularly potent smell lingering near your stomach.

"Mystery solved, I suppose." 

Yoongi’s lip curls as he draws back, ears falling flat against his head. He looks miffed at the discovery of what you and Taehyung were up to, but you can tell that’s not all there is to it. There’s a layer of hurt there too, a hint of sadness in the heavy breath he lets out. 

You twist a hand into the soft knit Yoongi’s wearing, tugging at it.

Yoongi’s tail swishes at the contact, his mouth forming a soft pout. The fingers on the back of your neck twitch, like he isn’t sure he should keep holding on to you or not.

"Talk to me?" You ask softly, dragging him a step closer.

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath, his posture slumping as he instinctively leans towards your warmth. 

"What?" You whisper.

Yoongi looks away, words a little jumbled as he mumbles, "I missed you." 

"Yoongi..." You breathe, reaching out to cradle his face.

You really didn’t expect to have your heart crushed twice in one morning.

You pull him into a gentle kiss, smiling against Yoongi’s lips as he holds you still, the steady grip on your neck not letting you move an inch. It’s slow and sweet, the way he parts your lips, slotting them perfectly against his own. 

You let your hand explore the strong curve of his jaw, the softness of his pale cheeks, everything you didn’t have time to map out the first time you kissed.

When you eventually have to lean back to breathe, you ghost your lips over Yoongi’s, hoping he can feel the sincerity in your words as you say, "I missed you too, I really did."

"I’m sorry I haven’t been around much this week. Work has been rough, but I shouldn’t have let that come in the way of us spending time together. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect right away, but I am going to try my best to balance everything a little better." 

"Y/n," Yoongi shakes his head with a small sigh, "You’re doing good." 

He presses a quick peck to your lips, levelling you with a look as your mouth purses in silent protest. 

"You’re working hard to house and feed us, and yeah, sure, it sucks that you can’t be at home as much as we’d like, but we understand. No one else has ever put as much effort as you are into making sure we’re happy and comfortable, so don’t worry too much about us, okay? Just, focus on yourself first. That’s all we ask." 

You melt into Yoongi’s embrace as he wraps his arms around you, muttering out a wobbly okay.

He holds you securely against his chest, tucking his nose into your hair to breathe in your calming scent. Yoongi never thought he would experience a scent that soothes him as much as Jimin’s, that smells like home – but yours do. The thought alone is enough to calm down the jittery edge that’s been clinging to his instincts for the past week, low purrs rumbling in his chest.

You rub your face into Yoongi’s sweater, discreetly trying to wipe away the tears prickling in your eyes. You will do better, you’re going to stand by your promise – but still, it’s comforting to hear that they don’t hate you for spending so much time away from home recently.

"You feeling okay?" Yoongi slowly releases his hold, stepping back to look you in the eye. 

"I’m fine," You murmur, clearing your throat of the thickness lingering there.

Yoongi hums, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. 

"Go get ready then, I’m sure the others are dying to see you." 

"Y/n, where should I put this?"

You glance up, squinting against the sun to make out Namjoon’s outline through the rays of light.

"Anywhere will do, Joon. Thanks for grabbing it for me," You nod in the direction of the other garden tools, brushing the dirt off your hands as you flash him a grateful smile. 

"My pleasure," Namjoon grins, tail swinging happily behind his back. 

You watch as he turns, blocking the light momentarily as he hefts the bag of soil more securely over his shoulder, biceps straining under the black t-shirt he’s wearing. Judging by how buff Namjoon looks, it seems that the workouts they’ve been trying to rope you into doing with them have been paying off, the sight of a particularly prominent vein in his arm causing your mouth to run dry. 

You swallow thickly as the wolf hybrid places the bag on the ground with a soft grunt, the flowers in front of you long forgotten.

"Be careful, Y/n-ie, otherwise you’ll catch flies." 

Blinking, you quickly avert your gaze from Namjoon’s bulging muscles, whipping around to stare at Hoseok. 

"W-what?" 

The dog hybrid gives you a knowing look from where he’s kneeling on the ground next to you. There’s a teasing smirk adorning his lips, his golden tail wagging with newfound interest.

"Shut up," You murmur, nudging his shoulder with your own. You fumble for the handheld shovel on the ground as Namjoon walks over, flustered that Hoseok caught you ogling his pack alpha. 

The wolf hybrid plops down on your other side, ears perked as Hoseok lets out a low snort.

"What’s up?" 

You pointedly do not look at the sculpted, tanned arm that reaches out for the hand rake in front of you, throwing Hoseok a narrowed gaze as he cheerfully says, "Nothing much. Y/n was just really enjoying the view." 

Namjoon makes a confused sound, the empty flower bed you’re sitting in front of not offering much besides the large bay windows looking into the living room. He tilts his head back, watching the sparse fluffy clouds drift by, the sun on his back wrapping around him like a warm hug.

"The sky does look pretty today," Namjoon agrees, oblivious to the death glare you’re giving his packmate.

"Sure does!" Hoseok chirps. 

His tail hits the grass with quick thuds, clearly enjoying the flustered state he’s put you in. Hoseok’s eyes sparkle with mischief as he continues, "Y/n, I’m sure Joonie would love to hear what–" 

"Wow, look at these pretty flowers!" You interrupt him, face growing warm under the smug smile you get in return. You busy yourself with dragging the cluster of nursery plants closer, avoiding Hoseok’s gaze as you push the small shovel to his chest.

"We should get them settled into their new home while the sun is still out, don’t you think?" 

The reminder seems to snap Namjoon out of his cloud watching, the wolf hybrid letting out a startled, "Oh, right!" as he turns back to the plants. He’s too busy trying to figure out how to use the garden rake to notice the fond looks you and Hoseok send his way.

You bite your lip, stifling a giggle, as you wonder how you ever could’ve thought of Namjoon as intimidating. It’s hard to picture the calculating gaze and imposing presence you felt at the shelter when the hybrid in front of you is just so – cute.

Namjoon is hunched over the bed, making himself small in front of the delicate flowers as he attempts to crumble the soil for them. A wrinkle appears between his brows as the tool only grazes over the surface, his grey ears twisting back in confusion when it doesn’t work.

Gently, you reach out to take Namjoon’s hand in yours, turning the rake over in his grip. The wolf hybrid perks up when he once again tries to drag it over the hard soil, the tines actually digging into the ground this time. Namjoon’s tail begins to wag as he rakes the soil, a soft look of wonder on his face as old, buried roots come to the surface. 

You know the boys haven’t had it easy in the past, but you really hope that the new experiences they make with you can lessen that hurt over time. You really haven’t met anyone – human or hybrid – who are as good as they are, and you’ll be damned if you don’t try your best to make them happy. And if gardening can do that for Namjoon, then you’re willing to convert your bedroom into a greenhouse if that’s what it takes. 

Your heart skips a beat as you take in the pure joy shining on Namjoon’s face as he fluffs up the soil, his fingertips stained with dirt. You can’t help but lean in, chest tight with love as you plant a kiss on his cheek. 

"Thank you for helping me," You smile, heart fluttering as he sends you a bright grin in return, dimples on full display. 

"Of course," Namjoon preens, chest puffing out as he digs into the soil with even more energy than before. 

A low whine has you glancing to your left, Hoseok giving you his best pout as he tilts his head, angling his cheek in your direction.

The intense scenting and kissing session you received before breakfast honestly left you in a bit of a drunken daze, your mind scrambled after trying to keep up with five needy hybrids. You know that’s why Hoseok refused to let up on his teasing before, it isn’t often he can do so without you returning the favour, but that doesn’t mean you’ll let him get away with it now that the spring air has started to clear your head. 

You send him a puzzled look, feigning ignorance as you mouth a confused 'what?'

Hoseok stares at you, dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events, as you turn back to the flowerbed with a small shrug.

You have to tamper down a smug smile of your own when Hoseok seems to catch up to what you’re doing, whiney grumbles being muttered under his breath as he realizes you’re ignoring him in retaliation for earlier. You’re not cruel, it’s not like you can deny them kisses for very long, you’re just, hm, saving it, as reward for when he finishes digging up his part of the bed.

You watch him begin to shovel out of the corner of your eye, tuning out his weak complaints as you focus on your own patch. Namjoon’s excitement is infectious and you honestly can’t wait to see how the garden is going to look once you’re done with it. The old owners didn’t care for it much, letting most of the plants rot and wilt away, but you don’t mind that too much. The new garden is going to be something you’ve created together with the boys, and it’s going to be so much more satisfying seeing the space blossom and thrive the more love you collectively pour into it. 

"This is such a mess," Hoseok sighs. He eyes the flowerbed distastefully as he flips over another spot of old dirt. 

"Hmm," You lean back, tapping your shovel against the soil as you pretend to think, "I wonder what made it so messy? Surely it couldn’t have been because of two grown hybrids stomping around in it, trying to spy–" 

"Tae!" Namjoon suddenly calls out, neck splotched pink with embarrassment. 

A few slow seconds pass with no reply, Taehyung nowhere to be seen. Just as you’re about to nudge Namjoon to tease him for trying to divert your attention, you hear the sound of pattering feet rushing over the grass, a series of high pitched barks calling out from the other side of the garden.

You watch, stunned, as a copper fox runs straight into Namjoon’s arms, squirming around in his lap until the wolf hybrid gently hugs it to his chest. It yips as if asking him to play, giving his jaw a few quick licks while it rubs his snout all over Namjoon’s neck.

"Not right now," The wolf hybrid shakes his head, amused, as he lovingly pets the thick, orange fur. 

The fox – Taehyung, your mind unhelpfully supplies a little late – gives a low snort, clearly unhappy that his alpha won’t indulge him right away.

His fox form is just as pretty as you remember. Taehyung has a long rich orange fur that fades into white near his stomach, his bushy tail sprinkled with black hairs that make the copper look even more vibrant. His pointed ears and small legs are dipped in black, his body agile and nimble as he somehow manages to slip out of Namjoon’s strong hold like it’s nothing. 

You hold your breath Taehyung as immediately scurries over to you, tail swishing as he flops down on the available patch of grass between your knees and the flower bed. He rolls to his back, looking more like a dog than a fox as he gives you a little wiggle, waiting to be pet. 

"Like this?" You ask, carefully burying your hand in the soft fur on his belly. Taehyung seems pleased as you begin to run your fingers through the silky hairs, low purrs vibrating in his stomach as you marvel at his pretty fur. 

"Look at our handsome boy," Hoseok coos. He reaches out to rub the narrow space between Taehyung’s fox ears, laughing as one of his hind-legs twitches in response. 

Taehyung looks blissed out from the attention, panting happily as you rub his stomach. You haven’t seen this side of the fox hybrid since the first time at the shelter, and it warms your heart that he finally feels comfortable enough to shift and let go even with the other packs around. 

You scratch Taehyung’s chin, grinning as you playfully say, "Do you know your hyungs are trying to use your cute little face as a distraction for ruining our flowerbed?"

Namjoon smiles sheepishly as the fox gives you a high, confirming yip in return. 

"It’s working, so I guess I can’t be too mad about it," You sigh, shaking your head in amused exasperation. 

You keep petting Taehyung for another minute until he seems to grow bored of it, his attention span a bit more fleeting in his shifted form. He rolls back over on his stomach, clambering up on his legs before he shakes his fur out. You’re not even sure if that’s something foxes do, or if he’s just picked it up from Hoseok and Namjoon over time. 

The fox walks a few laps back and forth, following the paved border along the bed as he sniffs at the freshly turned dirt. Hoseok notices the longing glances his packmate sends the disturbed soil, aware of his own instincts begging him to shift to dig around in it. 

He pats the ground to make Taehyung rush over to him, running a soothing hand over his spine as he gestures to the spot he abandoned his shovel. "There’s this root I can’t get up, it’s buried pretty deep, do you think you can get it for me?" 

You can practically see Taehyung’s entire body immediately honing in on the patch Hoseok pointed to, his tail swishing behind him in unbridled excitement. His ears are perked, focused, as he crouches low, belly to the ground.

His body tenses before he suddenly rushes forward, pouncing on the spot of dirt. He starts eagerly digging at the ground, scraping away the layers of soil surrounding the root in a few seconds. Taehyung has the entire thing uncovered in no time, his pointed snout shooting down to gnaw at what must’ve been roots from an old tree. His sharp teeth glint in the sun as he excitedly attacks the wood. A cracking sound fills the air as he chomps down on it, Taehyung's body going taut as he leans back, using his weight to pull it up. 

For a second the fox hybrid looks frozen, the root giving him more resistance than anticipated, but then it just gives – and Taehyung stumbles back, pulling out a root as thick as your arm from the dirt. 

"Well done, Tae," Namjoon beams, his chest rumbling with pride.

You cheer alongside his packmates, amazed that Taehyung managed to get rid of it that quickly. You shudder to think how many hours you would’ve been hacking away at it if you had to remove it yourself. 

Taehyung drops the root, yipping excitedly as he jumps around in the soil. He lets you all get in a few pets and a smooch between his furry ears as thanks before he shoots off, impatient to explore the rest of the garden. 

Smiling, you watch him scurry off, a streak of orange disappearing across the garden and into the thicker foliage near the back fence. Taehyung saved you all a lot of work, so now that the flowerbed is tended to and clear of anything that might impede the growth of the new plants, you can finally add in the fresh soil.

"Hobi?" The dog hybrid’s head whips around as you call his name, eyes hopeful.

"Can you help me with that bag of soil? I can’t lift it on my own."

You dust your hands, ready to rise up on your feet when Hoseok jumps up, gently pressing on your shoulder to make you stay seated on the ground.

"I’ll get it!" 

"Wait, it’s heavy–"  You turn around, warning tapering off as you watch the dog hybrid effortlessly heft the bag up in his arms.

Stunned, you watch as Hoseok carries it over without problem, no trace of a struggle visible on his face. He doesn’t make a sound as he picks up Namjoon’s rake, slashing the bag open before he spreads the soil as evenly as possible over the bed. 

Not even Namjoon, with his prominent muscles, looked this unbothered when he carried the bag for you earlier. You could tell he at least felt the weight of it on his shoulder, but it doesn’t seem like Hoseok registers it at all. You know that hybrids, regardless of their species, are genetically modified to be stronger than humans – but even so, the sight of Hoseok lifting a fifty litre bag of soil like it’s as light as a feather leaves you dumbstruck. There’s clearly a lot you still don’t know about the boys, and you have no clue how Hoseok has managed to hide that amount of strength away in his lithe build. 

"That’s, um, thank you," You stare up at Hoseok, a little lost, as he crumples up the empty plastic. 

"No problem!" He grins, ears perked as he resumes his spot. "Can I have a kiss now, too?" 

"Hmm, well, you did help, so …" You kiss the cheek that Hoseok keenly presents to you with a soft giggle, making sure to add another peck to the corner of his mouth in apology for teasing him earlier. 

Hoseok’s small dimples are carved into his cheeks when you pull back, the heart shaped smile turning your insides to mush.

He reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, subtly brushing his wrist against your neck as he pulls back, making sure his happy scent lingers on your skin. Hoseok knows all too well that you can’t smell it or find comfort in it like the others, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying. 

"Y/n, where does this go?" Namjoon holds up a budding flower, the faintest hints of purple showing through the closed petals. 

"Anywhere you think it’ll look nice," You smile. "I picked out plants and flowers that all thrive in the shade, so the placement shouldn't matter too much." 

Namjoon lights up at that, his grey tail beating up a storm behind his back as he launches into describing where he thinks each plant would look best. He must’ve been thinking deeply about it while he was turning over the old soil. Seeing how enthused he looks as he places them all out, you wonder if he would enjoy learning more about it - maybe it would be possible to sign him up for a flower arranging course in town? Or a few lessons online? You’re definitely going to mention a few options to him later. 

"That looks pretty, Joonie," Hoseok compliments as his pack alpha finishes his positioning, small clusters of colourful flowers divided up between a variety of green plants. 

You echo his sentiment, already picturing just how lush and beautiful the flowerbed is going to look once everything sprouts and grows. 

"Thank you," Namjoon’s shy gratitude is filled to the brim with pride, the wolf hybrid beaming as he begins to dig the spot where the first flower will go. 

You hunker down in front of your own designated area, digging up the patches Namjoon marked for each new plant. There’s something tranquil about the fresh soil slipping through your fingers as you carefully pat down the dirt around the new flowers, a gentle calm settling over you as you listen to the welcoming tune of a faint birdsong in the distance.

You joke around with Namjoon and Hoseok as you plant the new flowers, happily listening to the boys retell what they’ve been up to for the past week. Namjoon in particular has taken to exploring the neighbourhood and the surrounding areas more, though you can’t quite figure out why he seems so bashful to admit it.

Before you can even think to ask, you’re interrupted by Taehyung running back over for more pets, the fox hybrid looking like he’s been rolling around in any available patches of dirt he’s come across. You can only watch, amused, as he’s gently scolded by Hoseok for getting so dirty, his whines only growing when Namjoon joins in too. 

"Hey!" Namjoon sputters as Taehyung sneezes him in the face, showing off his displeasure before he scampers off in the direction of the backdoor. 

Hoseok barks out a laugh at Taehyung’s cheeky retort and you have to cover your face as your snort, muffling the sound to the best of your abilities. You pretend you don’t see the narrowed look Namjoon gives you as he wipes his face, humming as you let your attention drift to the other boys hanging around the garden. 

Seokjin and Jeongguk are huddled near some bushes by the fence at the back, arguing loudly about what the correct type is. You just wanted to know if it would flower, but based on how long they’ve been slapping each other’s necks, you don’t think you’ll get a definite answer to that today.

You roll your eyes as Jeongguk wrestles Seokjin into a headlock, the bunny hybrid grinning victoriously as Seokjin lightly punches his stomach in retaliation.

Jeongguk’s smile falters as he glances up, meeting Jimin’s gaze from beneath the big tree in the middle of the garden. You watch as the hand Jimin was carding through his tail jerks, a small hiss carrying over the grass as he accidentally tugs on the delicate hairs.

Blushing, Jeongguk averts his eyes, loosening his hold on Seokjin in order to make the alpha jump back up, blocking Jimin from view as he squeaks about his packmate being a brat. 

This new thing between Jeongguk and Jimin is certainly interesting, to say the least. It doesn’t seem like the others have caught on to the strange tension that’s been growing between them ever since that night you found them huddled up on the couch together, limbs and tails intertwined. It has clearly left things between them awkward though, even if you’re not sure why. They seemed cosy enough when you stumbled across them and the friendships between the packs have been improving, but perhaps they need a bit more time to accept the sudden shift between them. 

Your gaze falls to Yoongi as he yawns, his dark eyes squinting disapprovingly up at the shade that has fallen over his resting spot. You were surprised when you first came outside to find the cat hybrid in his shifted form, a purring Yoongi wrapping himself between your legs for some pets before he eventually went off to take a nap somewhere hidden from view. He’s been steadily moving his way around the yard as you’ve been working, finding new spots to rest undisturbed.

Now though, you hold back a coo as the fluffy black cat slowly gets to his feet, stretching out his long body before he moves a little further into the garden, plopping down in the first patch of sunlight he finds. He curls into a little ball, delicately tucking his tail under his chin to bask in the pleasant spring warmth. 

You watch as one of Yoongi’s ears twitches, twisting towards the house, before you even manage to notice Taehyung yourself; the fox hybrid back in his human form as he quietly moves across the garden.

Taehyung approaches Yoongi’s resting figure carefully, eyes wide with wonder as he takes in his shifted form for the first time. He stops in front of Yoongi, orange tail swishing with interest behind his back as he slowly sinks to his knees.

You can barely make out one of Yoongi’s eyes cracking open to watch him, tail flicking with what you can only assume is annoyance at having his fifth nap interrupted.

Taehyung’s hands are folded in his lap, voice soft as he reverently says, "Hyung, your fur is so pretty." 

Yoongi watches Taehyung silently, pinning the younger hybrid under his gaze. He looks at him without blinking and you find yourself holding your breath, mirroring Taehyung subconsciously as the cat hybrid thinks - considers something. 

You’re not sure what you were expecting – for Yoongi to hiss maybe, definitely for him to just get up and leave – but he does, well, neither.

After a few tense seconds that feel horribly long, Yoongi simply just slides his eye shut, his tail stilling under his chin as he lets a gentle mrrp fill the silence between them.

"Are you sure?" Taehyung gasps, eyes lighting up as he reaches out, hand hovering over Yoongi’s back for a final confirmation. 

"Oh," You whisper, just as Hoseok sucks in a low breath behind your back. The scene in front of you has captured the attention of everyone in the garden, five pairs of curious eyes watching the unusual interaction unfold. 

Yoongi lets out another soft sound, something you can only describe as akin to a stuttered purr, to let Taehyung know it’s okay to touch him. To pet him. 

Taehyung looks enthralled as he lightly strokes Yoongi’s silky fur, fingertips barely even grazing the cat hybrid at the first few touches. He grows bolder when Yoongi repositions his head to get more comfortable, petting the alpha with a little more intent as he drags his fingers from the top of Yoongi’s head down to his lower back.

He just looks so happy, so content, as he continues to pet Yoongi to his heart’s desire. 

The sight truly makes you a little emotional. With how the boys acted when they got to the house, there was a point where something like this seemed more like a distant, unattainable dream than a possible future. Even though they eventually agreed to get along, there was never a promise of friendship, or closeness. There was never anything that alluded to this. 

You can hear Hoseok’s tail wagging at the sight, matching the grey blur of his pack alpha's in front of you. Seokjin and Jeongguk have calmed down too, the bunny hybrid resting his chin over Seokjin’s shoulder as he watches Taehyung and Yoongi with wide eyes.

They all seem pleased, at ease, to watch Taehyung take another step towards befriending Yoongi. Like it was just a matter of time before someone took the leap to start bonding between packs. 

Well, almost everyone. 

Jimin is silently seething beneath the tree, his dark eyes glued to Taehyung’s hand as it touches Yoongi over and over, and over again.

It's his expression that trips you up the most, the intensity there all too reminiscent of the look you saw him sporting earlier. You noticed it as they all rushed to greet you after you came down for breakfast – the way Jimin's face soured as he picked up traces of both Yoongi and Taehyung's scent on your body. He kept throwing odd looks their way, a permanent scowl on his face as he bit into his toast.

His displeasure was clear as day when Taehyung had reached for something across Yoongi's plate, their arms brushing together. The thing was though, Jimin wasn't watching Yoongi. During breakfast, he kept staring Taehyung down, lip curling whenever the fox hybrid touched someone.

You didn't recognize it then, but you do now. You can see it in the way Jimin’s tabby ears are pulled flat against his hair, strained hands clutching on to his fluffed up tail in what looks to be a painful manner. His eyes keep tracking Taehyung as he touches Yoongi, never wavering anywhere else.

It's jealousy, and it's practically rolling off him in waves.

The thing that confuses you the most however, is that while Jimin looks green with envy, you can't quite tell what's actually upsetting him more – the fact that Yoongi is allowing Taehyung to pet him, or that perhaps a tiny part of him wishes that he was the one getting touched by Taehyung.

a/n: Chapters 20 & 21 of "Abundance" are available on ko-fi! You can find them here: https://ko-fi.com/s/e95005a91d

so uhm ... hiii? i know it’s been a very long time since the last abundance update (18 months to be exact *cough*) but better late than never, right? it felt really weird returning to abundance after this long. even though i tried my best to recapture the old ‘feel’ of abundance, i still think i have some ways to go before i get fully used to writing this story again! i hope you guys can excuse any scenes that may feel a bit stilted or off while i get to know my characters again. but all of that aside – i’m so happy to be back. i really missed this story and my hybrid boys, and i missed you guys as well. 

how have you all been? did you enjoy the new chapter? please come talk to me in the comments (& remember to reblog, that helps me out a lot)!!

the next chapter will be posted in around three weeks time, but if you can’t wait then you can always read it early on my ko-fi! i would really appreciate the support!! 💖

see you all soon, stay safe! <3

#hybrid bts #hybrid!bts #bts x reader #hybrid au #hybrid jungkook #ot7 x reader #hybrid seokjin #hybrid yoongi #hybrid hoseok #hybrid taehyung #hybrid jimin #hybrid namjoon #bts poly au #bts au #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut

[yenalogyy]

Nakamura Kazuha | Been a while IV

The two arrived at his apartment, as Kazuha seated herself on the cozy sofa in the middle of the room. She glanced around his well-kept place. With a warm smile, she finally spoke, breaking the silence, "Looks like you've got yourself quite a neat apartment."

He chuckled, the corners of his lips curling up. "You're just saying that to be polite. I'm sure your place is bigger than mine."

Kazuha shook her head. "No, really! My place is like, half the size of what yours is."

"Then I'll gladly take your compliment," he replied with a grin, feeling at ease in her presence. He fetched two glasses and poured apple juice into them before placing them gently on the coffee table in front of her.

As they sipped their juice, He couldn't help but be curious about her. "Have you met with some of our old friends during your stay?" he asked.

Kazuha sighed wistfully. "I haven't, unfortunately. I haven't even told anyone that I'm going to be here for about a week, since I'll be quite busy taking care of some stuff." She smiled, her eyes reflecting memories of their shared past. "Enough about me, what about you? Are you still in contact with Yunjin-unnie? Chaewon-unnie, perhaps?"

He leaned back, reminiscing. "Well, it's been around two weeks since I last talked with them, and that was about them ranting about their workplaces," he said, rolling his eyes playfully at the thought.

Kazuha giggled, recalling how he had always been the patient listener in their group. "That's just like you. Listening to what they have to say without saying anything, or even asking about anything in return."

"What can I do, right?" He chuckled. "Why don't you ask them to meet up? I can text them if you want to."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that." Kazuha waved her hands, declining his offer. "I can text them myself, though I'm not sure if I'm able to. It's been a long time since I last contacted them."

"Why not? I'm sure they'd drop any schedule they have just to meet you."

Kazuha hesitated, her gaze drifting downwards as she thought about the reason behind her reluctance.

"You know what? I'll text them later," she finally replied, giving a determined nod. "I'll do it once I get home."

"Great," He said with a supportive smile. "So, what were you doing prior to our meeting?"

"Oh, you know, walking around and all. And you?"

"I met up with Han, just catching up with our lives."

As they continued their conversation, He couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss with Kazuha's visit. He decided to press further onto the matter, sensing that she was avoiding the topics of her activities.

"I'm curious, Zuha-ya. What are you really doing here? Surely it can't be just any holiday since you're busy, right?"

Kazuha's eyes shifted to the right, a subtle sign that he had learned over the years - she was about to tell a white lie. This only fueled his suspicions, and he couldn't help but wonder what she was keeping from him.

Just then, her phone lit up with a call, and she quickly picked it up, hoping he hadn't seen the contact's name on the screen.

"May I use your balcony, Y/N? I have to pick up this call."

"Sure," He replied, though his eyes never left her figure as she walked out onto the balcony. Unfortunately for her, he had caught a glimpse of Chaewon's name on her phone.

Why would she lie about not being in contact with Chaewon?

Not long after, Kazuha returned from the balcony with a somewhat uneasy expression on her face, but she quickly regained her composure when she noticed his curious gaze.

"Everything okay?" He asked, pretending he hadn't seen Chaewon's name on her phone.

Kazuha forced a smile. "Yeah, just a friend checking up on me. Nothing important."

He couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss, but he decided not to press further. Instead, he changed the topic. "So, about what you're doing during your stay here?”

Kazuha chuckled nervously. "Can we… not talk about that? Please?”

He realized he had been too aggressive earlier about prying into her affairs. He leaned forward, placing a hand on hers. "I'm sorry, Zuha. I didn’t mean to pry into your business like that.”

Her smile returned, this time more genuine. "It's alright, Y/N. I appreciate your concern, but it's just something I can't discuss right now. I promise I'll tell you everything once I can." He nodded, relieved that she wasn't upset with him.

#kpopfanfic #kpopimagines #malereader #oneshot #fluff #nakamura kazuha #le sserafim

[mylove-iv]

❝i once saw forever in your eyes.❞

ʚ aged up, botw! link x fem! reader ɞ

synopsis: an alternative beginning to fearless child, broken boy; tell me what it's like to burn (part ii) that is more cut throat with the angst but this fic can also be read independently.

genres: angst, romance. | set pre-calamity.

content warnings: arguing, mentions of war and injuries.

reader specifications: none, no pronouns are used but was written with a female reader in mind.

word count: 832 words.

―originally posted on @mydarling-iv, jan. 2, 2024

ʚ part i ɞ | ʚ part ii ɞ | ʚ masterlist ɞ

Two weeks, two cursed weeks that you lover was away in Gerudo, wasting the time away with the princess beside him and only when he does get home—to you—he is ripped away once more.

“A ball?” You inquire softly, having no energy of meeting Link’s eyes, exhaustion apparent with the ache embedded deeply in your bones.

“Come with me?” He blinks softly, his sky blue eyes reminding you of the times where he and you would nap beneath the shade a tree has to offer under a stunning cloudless sky.

But such times are a thing of the past. The thought is scalding.

Link sees the fire your eyes hold, they’re practically smoldering as you glare at the sealed letter in his hands. “You want me to attend? The ball your princess is holding?” You sneer angrily.

He’s never noticed your anger and it takes him off guard. “It is just a ball, my love-“

“I refuse.” Your words are stern, leaving no room for argument.

Link feels an itch of annoyance claw at him. “I am required to attend, so please, come with me?”

“Go with your princess, Link, I have no interest in catering to the wants of the nobles.”

He’s quick to catch a flicker of hurt in your eyes and he feels his heart break. “Talk to me please?” Link’s voice is soft—vulnerable—and it reminds you of your Link.

Your guard lowers but you feel as if a cold bucket of water was just dunked over you. “You’ve been so angry recently, it isn’t like you—“

“It really isn’t like me Link, yet who can blame me when my spouse is always leaving me alone?”

His eyes narrow, blues darkening in warning. “Forgive me for I am at the very forefront of this war. Battered and wrecked, I come to you first.”

“Yet why do I not feel like I am first? To me, my love,” the pet name is sickly sweet and Link holds back the urge of wincing. “Your precious Zelda is always first.”

Time slows and Link momentarily pauses, he catches himself, “I’m sorry for not noticing until now-” It’s too late, all your hurt—inflicted by him—has turned into anger. 

Anger rips through your very being as you meet his eyes, “You’ve only now noticed, Link? Or is it simply because you’re never here to see me hurt and angered by you and what you do to me?” Your words shock him, the anger masking your hurt irritating Link even further.

“Never here? I’m working to make sure you’re comfortable, that you’re safe, and yet this is what I get in return for giving you a better home than the old cabin we lived in?” Your heart aches as he yells and you’re able to see anger and betrayal simmering in his blue orbs that used to be so serene and calm.

A small laugh tumbles from your lips, your eyes aching with the weight of unshed tears—of having the weight of your relationship on your shoulders. “Do you not understand?”

The words die on Link’s tongue, guilt and hurt leeching into his soul at the sight of your tears. “I care not for the riches they bestow upon you, I care not for the land or titles you may hold, I care not of such things.” You furiously wipe away at your tears, hiccups becoming louder as the seconds pass.

“You are my home, do you not understand?” You look at him in the eye and Link sees defeat dim your eyes and it tears at the very being of his soul.

"I may be a fool for wanting that old cabin back, but at least then I was loved- I felt loved, Link. Yet, you trade that—our happiness—for the artificially that upper society has to offer?"

Guilt and sorrow claws at Link's insides as he feels defeat settle in his bones, a strong melancholy winding itself so tightly around his heart that it is even hard for him to breathe. He sees your eyes, puffy with unshed tears and he's enveloped in an unwanted hug of shame and guilt.

I was a fool. He thinks bitterly as he pays the price of seeing you so hurt, so bruised, but it all pales in comparison to the hurt you've felt, the pain he's forced you to endure.

"I go to sleep in a cold bed, I awake to one, yet does it ever cross your mind that your absence hurts me? And whenever you are home, in my arms, I mourn for myself—for us—and what our relationship could have been.

"Can you believe that? I mourn my lover who is sleeping next to me, I mourn the man who once showed me how much he loves me, I mourn us.” A dry laugh tumbles from your lips as you cry, feeling so alone despite your lover standing before you.

You’re breathless, "Do you not cry my name in the dark like I do yours?"

© 2024 𝐌𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄-𝐈𝐕. do not copy, repost, share, or translate any of my works to tumblr, social media, and any other websites/platforms.

#𝐢𝐯'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.°♡༉‧₊ #legend of zelda: gallery of the wilds ༉‧₊˚✧ #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #loz #botw #legend of zelda link x reader #breath of the wild link x reader #loz link x reader #botw link x reader #link x reader #link x fem reader #link x you #botw link #botw link fluff #botw link angst #botw link smut #link #link fluff #link angst #link smut #reader insert

[vamossainz55]

Yours. (1.8k) || Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader / Requested

helloooo, so i decided to combine these two reqs together. i hope it makes sense. i don't really have the 'she fell first' but carlos is definitely head over heels obsessed w reader in this one. also closest thing to spicy time ive publicly posted but borderline smut so pls read it with that in mind. the tiktok sent by anon made me feel things 💀. anywayws i hope i was able to encapsulate both requests and if not pls feel free to resend it and i'll write it again <33

warnings: 18+ technically, mentions or or*al, nothing more extreme and just sexual tension in general lmao.

enjoy!

______________________

Carlos is obsessed with you, every single little thing about you drives him crazy. 

Your beautiful eyes and long lashes that are always giving him doe-eyed looks, your lips and the way they twitch into a smile whenever you’re holding back a laugh, and don’t even get him started with the sweet little noises that leave them whenever he slowly trails kisses down your neck, shoulders, chest, to where you usually want him most. 

He could stare at you for ages for all he cared, because every single thought in his head revolved around you. He’s not even embarrassed to admit it, letting you know every day, every hour, every minute. As long as you were willing to listen to him he’d let you know, shower you with every single praise possible, because that is what you deserved. You always laughed it off, told him Sure Carlos, whatever you say. But little did you know that he meant every single word of it. Always. 

You slowly shift in his arms which finally makes him break out of his thoughts. His arms tighten around you to pull you closer as he gently brushes one of the strands of your hair behind your ear before giving your forehead a kiss. You’re still asleep and he can’t help but nuzzle his face into your hair, taking a moment to breathe you in. Your legs are tangled with his and the memories from the night before are still fresh in his mind, and he lets out a deep and satisfied breath. He lays there for a while, what feels like hours. With you everything slowed down, it was like he was stuck in his own little bubble, his own little dream.

His body betrays him once his stomach grumbles though, and it takes him all his will power to slowly pull away from you. He gently places a pillow in his place and tucks you back into the covers before he’s quickly slipping on some boxers and hurrying to the kitchen. He opens the fridge door slowly, shivering at the gush of cold air that envelops him as he grabs eggs, bacon, and a few other things to prepare for you. 

He catches himself in the reflection of the window and he can’t help but to fix his own hair, trying to undo your mess from the night before. Once the pan he had heated up was warm enough he starts preparing some of the bacon, happily sighing as the sound of it sizzling invades his senses. He takes this time to brew the coffee and open both the window and the balcony door to let the summer breeze come in, singing to himself one of the songs you had been playing on replay during every drive. The sound of birds and the gentle ocean waves flow perfectly into the apartment and he goes back to the stove, checking on the bacon before leaning back against the island. 

It had been a week since the summer break started, and he had been flooded with questions from the reporters about what he was gonna do, the plans of the summer, and what he was excited about the most. Of course he said to take some time off, to enjoy the sun, and to have fun, but what he was excited about the most was small moments like today. It was waking up in the morning with you still in his arms, being able to enjoy cooking you breakfast, and more importantly, getting to see you like this right now, dazed from the sleep and last night’s activities. 

“Morning.” You say, walking out in Carlos’ Real Madrid shirt. Your hair is tied up lazily and you stumble into his arms, stuffing your face into your chest. 

“Good morning princesa,” Carlos says, kissing the top of your head as he wraps his arms around you. He can’t help but gently run his hand down the curve of your back, humming. 

“Last night was good, no?” He asks, you pull away slowly from the hug and he can’t help but smirk when he notices all the marks littered on your neck. You fix your hair a bit and nod, smiling up at him again with those big eyes and he can’t help but lean back down to give you a kiss. 

“Very good,” You promise, hand already trailing down Carlos’ chest. Carlos tsks, grabbing your wrist. 

“Breakfast first mi amor.” He says before lifting your hand and you smile and shake your head before letting Carlos twirl you. You laugh as you spin in circles, and you continue to spin as long as you can before you feel a bit dizzy. 

“Enough, enough,” You say, smiling from ear to ear. Carlos gently lets go of your hands but holds your hips instead, soon hoisting you onto the kitchen counter. You rest your hands beside yourself before Carlos is going to take care of the food. 

It’s not until you’re both seated, quietly eating breakfast when Carlos speaks up. “Happy anniversary cariño,” He says with a smile. It’s not like you hadn’t said it to each other -you had the night before at midnight- but you smile and blush regardless. 

“Feliz aniversario,” You say with a smile (and a little help of google translate), and you can see the way Carlos lights up. 

It’s later that evening that you both go out to celebrate. You were much less amused than Carlos when you notice all the marks littering your neck. It takes a lot of concealer and powder to cover everything, and even then you still feel like it wasn’t enough. Once you’re done with your make up and head to the closet, you feel strong arms wrap around your waist from behind before lips are once again gently grazing your neck. 

“Babe,” You say fondly, craning your neck away. “I just covered everything, don’t you dare.” You say and smile when Carlos lets out a small complaint before letting go of your waist. “So what should I wear?” You ask, because frankly you had no idea. The driver had promised to surprise you on the anniversary date so he had completely hidden the plans from you. Of course you let it slide, until now, when you realized you really didn’t know what to wear. Your boyfriend was already wearing a sleek black suit so you knew you had to dress up. Had you even brought anything really fancy?

“I actually have your outfit sorted.” he smiles before sneaking to the back of the closet and opening one of the drawers. He takes out a black bag that makes your brows furrow, it’s only when he comes closer that you realize it’s a versace bag. 

“Carlos,” You say, shaking your head as you gently take the bag from him. You had tried refusing his gifts for ages, but one thing you both learned during the past years was that Carlos absolutely loved spoiling you. 

He watches you curiously peak into the bag before pulling out the box inside. You gently set the bag down before Carlos helps with the box. He holds it for you as you slowly open it to peak in and your eyes sparkle at the sight. 

“Carlos, this is beautiful,” You breathe out once your eyes land onto a beautiful red fabric. He slowly helps take it out and you gently unfold the dress to see it in its full beauty. The shade is stunning and your hands gently run over the small sequins that are in the front dress, over the chest area. The dress then curves down into a corset style before the fabric flows back down to the floor.

“I want to see you with this on mi amor,” Carlos says, gently lifting your hand up to his mouth to pepper kisses onto your knuckles. You smile and lean closer to give him a lingering peck before you’re turning to go change in the room. You stop when Carlos clicks his tongue though, turning back to face him. “You can change here,” He says, and his voice is low and hungry and you can’t help but feel your cheeks heat up from the way your knees go weak for a second. 

His eyes are following your every movement, watching you slowly slip off your shirt before you move for your shorts. The way his tongue slips over his bottom lip drives you crazy but you push yourself to slip the dress on. 

“It feels so good, the fabric is amazing,” You say, slowly pulling the straps over your shoulders as you pull the dress up. Carlos hums and nods, soon coming close to you. Both his hands hold your waist as a way to tell you to stand still and you comply with his request. Soon he is zipping your dress up, eyeing your back as he did so. 

“It looks beautiful on you,” He says with a smile, stepping away to get a full look at you. He smiles and gestures you to spin with his finger and you smile as you follow his instructions, doing a quick twirl. 

“Perfect,” He says, slowly coming close before giving you a sweet kiss on your lips. “I got you new shoes too,” He says, slowly pulling at your hand to go back to the bedroom. You can’t help but shake your head, amazed at how much your boyfriend liked spoiling you. 

Soon you were sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching your boyfriend slowly take a pair of valentino stilettos out of their box. He’s leaning in front of you, gently running his hand under your calve to get you to stretch out your leg. Once you comply he gently slips it on your foot, smiling when he sees it fit you perfectly. 

“Do you like them?” He asks, looking up at you with his large puppy dog eyes and you can’t help but lean down, cupping his cheek before giving him several kisses. 

“I love them Carlos. I love you. Thank you,” You say in between kisses. He only pulls away to slip the other heel on your foot and you gently run your fingers through his hair, murmuring another thanks. 

You think he’s about to get up but he holds you by the ankle instead, gently peppers kisses over the inside of your ankle. You might had forgotten how he had looked at you whilst you were getting dressed, but he definitely hadn’t.

“Carlos,” You murmur, letting out a shaky breath when he begins to trail his kisses up. Your other hand makes it into his hair as well feeling his tongue swipe at your skin as he only moves closer. He uses his hands to gently push your legs apart, ducking his head under your dress shamelessly. His kisses are wet and sloppy and his stubble is rubbing your skin just right. 

“We need to go soon,” You breathe out, and despite your words, your grip is tightening on his hair, not wanting to let go. 

“Let me give you one more present before we leave baby,” He says, and how can you say no to that?

fin.

interested in reading more? check out my masterlist

my reqs are currently open!

#request #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz junior #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz x reader #cs55 #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #carlos sainz #the carlitos #carlos sainz x you #i love carlos if you cannot tell #carlos fic #brain rot really #i hope u enjoy regardless #bye im embarassed #vamossainz55 reqs

[rorywritesjunk]

(I'm not done with this shojo-esque au yet asfkg Sunny is a teen girl and honestly she would draw lil hearts over things with s+b in the middle of them)

pt i + pt ii + pt iii + pt iv + pt v + pt vi + pt vii + pt viii + pt ix

Buggy stared at the blank pages in front of him, trying to think of what to write down. After their last visit, Sunny gifted him with a journal, encouraging him to write his adventures down instead of the two writing letters. She had her own, one decorated with ducks on it whereas his had blue wave-like patterns on it.

Sure, things had been exciting on the ship. He was trying to acquire as much treasure and berry as possible for his own ship while squirreling away more little gifts for Sunny, but where did he even start?

A year had almost passed since they first met. A few weeklong visits were sprinkled in for Buggy's captain to get some work done on his clothes by Miss Pins and her workers. And every visit Buggy came along to see Sunny and every visit ended with Sunny giving his hand a squeeze as she told him she liked him.

He was pretty sure he didn't just like her but that he was falling in love with her.

His fear was what if she didn't feel the same? What if just 'liking' him was just that: she liked him as a friend, nothing more, didn't want a romance with him. She just wanted to be friends.

It was a few weeks after Buggy's 17th birthday. His captain announced they would be stopping by the island for two weeks this time to give everyone a break for all the hard work they've been doing. Buggy didn't think much about it but he made sure his hair was brushed and face clean before he went with his captain to the shop. He had his journal in one hand and a little box in the other, more little trinkets for Sunny that he had collected since they last saw each other.

When he entered the shop he saw Sunny. She was sitting at the table again, working with one of the other apprentices on how to fix a sweater. While his captain chatted with Miss Pins, Buggy remained in his spot, watching Sunny for a moment. He didn't know if he should bother her as her boss made it clear from the beginning she didn't like Buggy.

When Sunny didn't notice him, Buggy's captain finally cleared his throat, catching the attention of both teenagers. Sunny finally looked at Buggy, her eyes lighting up as she smiled. Without warning she got up and rushed over to him, throwing her arms around him as usual as she slammed into him. This time he was ready, managing not to fall or have his body separate. He was able to pop his hands off to keep holding the items before wrapping his arms around her.

"Buggy! Happy birthday!" Sunny said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. His face turned bright red and he almost jerked away but she kept a hold on him. "Let's go celebrate!"

He looked over at his captain who was giving him a thumbs up as Miss Pins looked cross, but at least she wasn't reaching for her gun this time. Sunny pulled away to grab a small bag at the table before returning to Buggy, taking his hand in hers before dragging him out of the shop.

~

"Ho-How the hell did you know it was my birthday?" Buggy stammered out as Sunny handed him a sweet treat from a street vendor. He still had his gift for her and journal, making it difficult to hold her hand with the things he carried. Instead she looped her arm around his while they walked.

"Your captain told me your birthday was sometime in August when you were last here." She told him as he led him away from the crowds. "So I made something for you."

"What?! Really?" He had received gifts for his birthday growing up on the Oro Jackson and they were always something useful. What could Sunny have made him? Clothes would have been nice but she wouldn't have had his measurements. The bag was too small for a ship or a hat. He looked at her then at the bag. "What is it?"

She paid for their treat and led him away from the vendor, finding a spot for them to sit. Buggy handed her his journal and box while she took her journal out of the bag and handed both to him. He immediately reached into the small bag, pulling out a square of red and white striped fabric.

"Here, your hair is long so this is meant to keep it out of your face." Sunny told him as she took it from him and folded it into a triangle and gestured for him to turn away from her. He just moved his head, keeping his body still as she placed it over the top of his head and tied the points into a knot at the base of his skull. "There. I thought something practical would be good."

"Thanks." Buggy mumbled as his face turned red and he looked down at the treat she had bought him. How could someone just be this kind and thoughtful?

"Happy birthday." She smiled and took a bite of her snack. "Um, I also wrote in my journal. If you... Want to read it you can, or if you don't I understand! This may have been a silly idea."

"Oh, um. I wrote... Stuff down but it wasn't too exciting." Buggy shrugged as he held up his notebook. Sunny seemed hesitant to share hers but eventually handed it over to him. He eyed her before he opened it up and flipped through some of the pages. She hasn't been writing very much, just fun little doodles of ducks, clothing designs with little notes next to them, and a scribble of Buggy with a Captain's hat and fancy looking coat. There was even a little heart next to him.

When he looked back over at her, she was red in the face and hiding behind his journal. "You can ignore those, um, I just had ideas and stuff about what I thought you would look good in. So um... Yea." She looked away, face still burning. "Just um, yea. I mostly wrote about some customers, some new things I learned, stuff like that. Y'know, stuff to know when I join your crew in a few years."

Oh, oh, was she still considering that? Buggy's own face was turning red as he looked between her and the drawing. She had used some colorful pencils on his scribble, using them to accent certain parts of the hat and jacket. She even colored his nose and hair.

"So you uh, still want to?" He asked as he flipped through the journal, glancing over at her. She was nodding, face still hidden. "Oh, good, because uh," he cleared his throat, "I would really like it if you did." He looked away for a moment before looking back at her. She was looking over the top of the journal, eyes wide as she watched him. Buggy cleared his throat again and straightened up. "Really, okay, because you keep saying you like me, Sunny, and well, I like you too, okay?! So you better join my crew! I'll need the best tailor around, got it?"

She just nodded, lowering the journal as she smiled at him. "I got it, Buggy."

#buggy the clown #mini fic #sunny x buggy #buggy the clown x oc #buggy x oc #buggy's older sister au

[dre6ming]

When you’re ready

“I stayed there” series ~ part IV

Masterlist

〘Part I〙〘Part II〙〘Part III〙〘Part V 〙

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, crying, fluff, angst.

Plot: you just can’t seem to be able to catch a break from Austin and when he shows up at your door you have a lot of things to figure out.

Word count: 3300+

It's been a week since I've seen Austin last. I've been trying to go about my life normally, unpacking my apartment, cleaning, going out on walks, but nothing helps. That's why I find myself here, in the animal shelter, looking at cats. I've always begged for a pet, but my parents hate them and I've always been too busy. I don't expect to get less busy now with the residency, but it's time to start doing things for myself. I have to learn to enjoy life and care for my self. Passing kennel after kennel, not really being impressed with any of the cats, I finally stop in front of one. Inside curled in the corner I see a big chunk of black and white fur.

The big green eyes watch me carefully. I look at the tag on the kennel. "Boots" it's the name of the sweet little thing. A female cat estimated at around two years old. "Hey!" I draw the attention of one of the girls working here. "Can I have this one?" I ask pointing at Boots, the little kitty is now sniffing curious around the door of the kennel. "Sure, I'll go grab the papers, it'll be just a few minutes, I have to finish with this one client. Um, you can go shop at the pet store next door, so you don't have to wait." She rips the tag off of Boots's kennel and hands it to me. "She's yours, bring this to the front desk when you get back, to start the paperwork." I nod my head, give the cat one more glance and walk over to the pet store.

I pick up everything google says I might need as a first time cat mom. Litter box, toys, cat beds, a cat tree (how I'm gonna fit it all in my car? I don't know, but I'll cry over it, in a few minutes), cat food, treats, shampoo, claw clippers, brushes, supplements, food bowls, the whole deal. After 30 minutes in the store and minus 300$ in my bank account, I make my way to the front desk of the shelter, I hand the kennel I bought to one of the girls as the other helps me fill the forms. "You can change the name if you, want!" The girl says, but I shake my head, I like the name Boots, it's fit for her, as the pattern of he fur makes it look like she has actual black boots on. "Ok and sign here!" I do as instructed. "Perfect I'll make a copy you can take home, Ally bring Boots out to her new owner" the girl comes back and sets the kennel on the desk, I can see the kitten coiled into a tight ball, poor thing she must be scared.

After all the formalities are done, it's hits me like a brick wall that I now, have to figure a way to fit everything in my car. Struggling for a few minutes, I eventually manage to fit everything in place. I place the kennel on the back seat, buckle it in and get in the drivers seat. Getting home, I turn my apartment into a sanctuary for this cat, girly has the whole place dedicated to her and she been mine for less than an hour. At first Boots seems unsure of her surroundings, so it takes her a minute to warm up to the place. I put some food and water in her bowl. Unable to resist the delicious temptation, she goes to eat. I decide to leave her do some exploring on her own, as I sit on the couch turning the tv on. After a few hours of be binging half of the second season of "Only murders in the building" I get up to make some dinner. Boots is now sleeping on her cat tree, she looks to cute for me not to pull out my phone and take several pictures.

Doing a quick inventory of all that I have in my fridge the best option for dinner looks like an omelette. As I reach to get the eggs out, the buzzing of the doorbell makes me jump, dropping the entire carton of eggs on the ground. "I guess fuck dinner!" I say with a puff, going to answer the door. When the door swings open, I swear I must of died and woken up in hell. "What do you want?" He licks his lips nervously, lifting up my converse shoes, that look squeaky clean, they might as well be a new pair for all that I know. "Brought your shoes back.." I squint my eyes at him, I really can't catch a break with him, can I? "Ok." I sigh and reach out to grab the shoes but he pulls them back before I have a chance. "I give them to you, if you have dinner with me!" I widen my eyes , he can't be serious. That's when he lifts up the bag he's holding in his other hand. "Pasta from that one Italian place you love." The smell slowly reaches my nose and my stomach betrays me growling. He hears it of course, that fucking smirk of his spreading on his face. "No!" I close the door, fuck them shoes, I can buy another pair. Austin's foot stops the door. "Please, let's talk, I-"

"You what?" I'm really curious what more could he want from me, but not curious enough to let him in. "How did you even know where I live?" As the question leaves my lips, he blushes looking down, like a child being scolded for something they did. "Ana, she's still dating my friend, Aaron, so I asked her." I'm going to kill Ana. "She had no business doing that." He looks away, biting his lip. We stay like this, silent and then my stomach goes against me one more time. He smiles at me. "Someone's hungry, can I?" He motions towards the inside of my apartment. He's so casual and chill, while I have the fight of my life in my head as everything telling me to not let him in, loses to those small parts of me that want him here. I say nothing as I move to the side, closing my eyes while Austin makes his way inside.

He's looking around the place, I can't read his face, but if he dares to say something about my apartment, I might just stab him. Nowhere deadly of course, maybe in the left lower abdomen to avoid any major blood vessels or organs with vital importance. "It's nice!" He breaks me out of my planing to kill him, bastard. He takes off his shoes, going to the kitchen. I can't help the smile that creeps it's way on my face when he jumps back. "Ah what the- eggs?" Austin holds his left leg up in the air, showing me his egg soaked sock. I laugh at him and he can't seem to be able to resist joining in. "I was holding them when you rang the doorbell, got scared and dropped 'em" I shrug my shoulders, going to grab the mop from the closet in the hallway, I quickly grab a pair of socks from the load of laundry I've been too lazy to put back. "Here" I say as I smack the socks on his chest and begin cleaning.

"These won't fit me!" He complains, but I pay him no mind. "So you have a cat now? I know you've always wanted one." He changes his socks as he speaks to me, looking over at the cat bed, where Boots is sleeping peacefully. I put the mop away, grab plates and cutlery, then sit down at the small dining table. "I adopted her today." I keep my voice monotone and he seems to notice. Austin sits down and brushed a hand through his hair. "Oh, that's nice, she's cute, what's her name?" Why is he being so casual, what does he want from me? It can't be just the name of my fucking cat. "Boots" he laughs and looks at me waiting to tell him I'm joking. "Wait, you're serious? How- what happened to naming the cat after one of your favorite characters?" Un-fucking-believable.

"I did, named her, after William Turner's dad, Bootstrap Turner, you know I've always had a thing for Orlando Bloom." I tuck my hair behind my ears and watch his reaction, hoping he won't know I'm lying. "Right, of course!" Either he believed me or he just decides it's not worth to argue. "You have a dog!" I say as I start unpacking the food and putting it on the plates. "Yeah, Sheldon." I lift one brow at him, he teased me for my cats name and he names his dog after the kid from "The Big Bang theory". I start eating, but he doesn't, he just watches me. "Did you poison this before you came here, or-" Austin straighten his back as if I pulled him out of a trance. "No, god, no." He eats some of the food as well. It's pathetic, we make small talk? Like we weren't just on the beach a week ago, with me screaming at him. "Talk!" My voice is unfortunately a little louder than I want. He looks confused at me, it really baffles me how he can't understand he's not a happy sight for me. "Um, I wanted to say I'm sorry and before you say it, I mean it, I really do!" Tears gloss over my eyes and the lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow. "No you're not!" I whisper as I look away, fixing my eyes on the window. The sun is starting to set. I blink and feel the tear fall down, i quickly wipe it off, but he notices it anyway. "I really am!" I hear him sniff and I look at him. Austin looks like his holding back tears of his own, but this can't be right. Right?! "Why?" My voice breaks.

He takes a deep breath, bringing both hands to his hair, pulling it exasperated. "Because I fucked up, big time." Tears now fall on his cheek, you've seen him cry before, but it never broke your heart like it does now. "You were right, so right, I-" he pauses the breathe. "I was just to far up my ass to see it. It's thanks to you that I even got the part in the first place." Shock covers my face, how can I be the one to thank? I shake my head and get up from the table, I need water or air, or a slap across the face. "No, no!" I repeat over and over again as I pace the kitchen. He sits up too, but keeps his distance from me. "The night before I sent in my last audition tape, I had the worst nightmare ever and, and when I woke up I just sat down at the piano and sang 'unchained melody', the director loved it and I got the part." I'm now full on sobbing, I know how real his nightmares are. "After I found out the news I wanted to tell you, but I didn't have your number anymore, I was angry that day when we broke up, I deleted. I drove up to your house, but your mom said to leave you alone, so I did." I can't no, he needs to stop, he can't. I lean back on the wall and fall to the ground, hugging my legs.

Austin falls to his knees with a cry of despair and an exasperated look of pain on his face. "I- I tried, I looked for you in every girl. Fuck I kissed them and pretend they were you. Sometimes I would manage to trick myself, but then I'd open my eyes, and all I saw was not you." He dries some of his tears with his hands, shaking his head. "It wasn't worth it, it wasn't - I might win an Oscar or whatever, but nothing will ever bring me back." So it was his number after all, he just didn't have my number anymore. I sniff and try to calm down. I have to be honest, I expected anything, but this. "You still talk like him." I didn't plan to say that out loud, but I did nonetheless. Something breaks inside of him, I can see it. My skin tingles, so I hug my knees harder and I close my eyes tight. "I can't find myself anymore, I- I don't think there's even an Austin in he-" he doesn't finish speaking, as he breaks into a fit of violent sobbing. I can't fight it anymore and I crawl over to him. I position myself on his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. He looks up at me, eyes puffy and read.

I can't look him in the eyes so I hug him tightly. Austin's hands embrace me, while he's crying in my shoulder, his tears soaking through my shirt. I want to say this feels horrible, I want to scream at him, slap him, scratch his face, rip his hair out, but I can't. I can't because I haven't felt this relaxed, warm and at home in three years. I stroke his back up and down, holding him until his body doesn't shake and no more sobbing can be heard from either of us. "Help me fix this? Cause you're all I've ever wanted" I close my eyes and sigh. I want so badly to say yes, but I don't know what to do. His arms let go of me and he pulls back to look at my face, but I avoid his eyes.

"Don't hide your eyes from me, please!" He begs me, he's begging. My heart speeds up and when he grabs my face in his hands, it nearly runs out of my chest. I lick my lips, trying to steady my breathing. Austin closes his eyes when my warm breath fans over his wet face. "Please!" He says again, licking his lips. "Austin, I need time, you don't get it." I get up from his lap and go to sit in the couch, dinner long forgotten. Boots comes up to me and sits on my lap. I pet her and she starts purring.

"I'll give you anything, just- please try with me!" He's sitting in the armchair opposite from me, his eyes burn holes through me, begging for a 'yes'. I look down at my cat, she's so oblivious towards the fact that I'm having a stroke while deciding if I should take my ex back. "You did your talking, now I do mine, I'll be clear, because I don't always speak in half said sentences" he immediately catches on the bite I take at his insult form the other time. He's ready to say something but you shut him up. "You were my first and only boyfriend, it took me a long time to be comfortable to talking to you. I told you everything, I never lied to you, I always supported you, hell when I read the news I almost called you to congratulate you and I cried happy tears for you. I was concerned about you and it seems I was right to be. You took digs at me, where you knew it hurt most." He nods he head and waits to see if I have anything more to say, but when I don't speak, he closes his eyes. "I understand, you hate me." He starts to get up from the armchair, but before he's fully up I speak again. "I don't hate you, that was the only lie I've ever said to you, that's what the problem is."

Shocked he comes to sit next to me and the couch, eyes searching my face for the truth. A little smile shows on his face, when he confirms I was telling the truth. Austin's gaze goes to my lips, so I bite my bottom lips, nervous at his proximity. A strangled sigh leaves his lips. "I think I want to try and fix this, but not tonight." Hie features soften, somehow his calming down. "Sure, yeah, when you're ready." I look away.

"It'll take me time and you have a girl-" he interrupts me "I broke up with her, I didn't love her" I nod, he didn't love her, ok, but did he love me? He couldn't have, you don't break what you love. "I love you, I loved you then and I love you now, I always have" my eyes are so wide I think the might fall out of my sockets. "You don't have to say it back, (y/n)!" He quickly adds and I simply nod.

He’s lying, he has to be, no way he just said that. I loved him, back then, but now? I still feel something, it's clear, but, is it love? My thoughts are cut short by my growling stomach, stupid stomach. "You're hungry, come on!" He takes my hand and we sit back at the table. We proceed to eat in silence and when we're done, I wash the dishes and he dries them, it's all so domestic and simple. I have to pinch myself so I keep in mind where we are and what brought us here. "I should leave you to rest, thank you for talking." I put the plates in the cabinet and nod listening to him carefully. "You have my number, right?" He asks

"Yeah, I do." Austin bites his bottom lip and I'm unable to move my eyes, hope he doesn't catch on, or at least doesn't joke about it. "Ok, text me when you're ready, I'm gonna be in LA for 2 more months." As I listen to him talk I take note of something, of his voice, it's back, it's the voice of my Austin, my sweet Austin. I step forward and hug him tight. "I will, I promise!" I look up at him and before I can think about it his lips are in mine. We kiss for a short moment, a small sweet kiss, it's reserved, fearful, but healing. "I'll go now."

I watch as he goes to put his shoes on, I'm at a loss of words. He opens the door and I come next to him one more time. We kiss again, this time more passionate, he grabs my waist and I tangle my hands in his beautiful hair. When we break apart we breathe hard trying to recover from being without air for a while. Our foreheads are still touching so I can smell him, warm, musky with a little citrus, I recognize the smell to be the perfume I gave to him for his birthday all this time ago. He must of kept on buying it, otherwise there's no way he still has it, my heart fills with a new feeling, something I haven't felt in a long time, love. "Goodnight!" He kisses the top of my nose, let's go of me and leaves.

I close the door and go straight to my bed, I'm exhausted so I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I have a dreamless sleep, unusual for me, but welcomed as the next morning I wake up and for the first time in three years I don't feel empty or numb anymore. I feel hopeful, let's pray it doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

#I stayed there series #elvis and priscilla #elvis songs #elvis film #baz luhrmann elvis #elvis fans #elvis biopic #austin butler elvis #austin butler smut #elvis smut #Austin #butler #austin butler x reader #austin!elvis x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler #love #fluff #angst #I stayed there #Austin butler imagine #fiction #x reader #elvis imagine #elvis music #elvisaaronpresley #austin!elvis #elvis 2022 #austin

[cathposting]

story time

(tw medical stuff, gore-ish??? but no images, very brief reference to shooting)

in march of 2023, at 11:00 AM, i felt a strange pain in my stomach for the first time.

i supposed i was hungry. it was almost lunchtime, after all.

so i ate some lunch.

the pain didn’t stop. it got worse.

worse until i could barely walk.

i wasn’t worried. four generations of my family have gone into medical services. i’ll be the fifth. so i knew what that pain meant.

appendicitis. i’d catch it early, get it taken out, and it would all be fine.

so i went to the doctor. they said “yeah that sounds like appendicitis” and sent me to get an ultrasound, to see how badly it was inflamed.

we were all wrong. all of us.

an ovarian cyst is a very common illness. millions of cases occur every year. people with healthy, functioning ovaries should produce ovarian cysts regularly, in which the egg is produced. the body then sends a signal to the cyst to pop it. sometimes the body forgets to send a signal, so the cyst gets a little too big and causes some pain, but later it pops.

but you know when you can tell something’s not right? when somehow you know that this isn’t a normal cyst, it’s not gonna pop?

the cyst was 2in when we first pinpointed it. they noted that it wasn’t a “functional” cyst, the kind that makes an egg. this cyst was filled with blood. so trying to put it on birth control to make it pop wouldn’t work.

they tried it anyway. i came in for a followup appt 3 days after the cyst had first been pinpointed. it had already doubled in size.

they gave me birth control and had me wait two weeks until something happened. nothing did. i just got worse.

finally, they took me to the hospital. checked the cyst again. and i describe it as a tumor, actually, a benign tumor, because “cyst” doesn’t properly show what was happening to me. this thing, two weeks after it had been 2in, had become 8in. the size of a grapefruit, and almost cancerous growth speed.

i waited 6 hours. they got me in. asked me some questions. put me on morphine, which barely even helped. barely did anything except make me sad that my mom was eating cane’s and i was on nothing by mouth, and also hallucinate the hospital beingn shot up. didn’t help with the pain.

they finally got me in for surgery the next morning. i watched bluey with my parents and waited in nervous anticipation while they put me on the anxiety meds.

i remember the exact moment they told my parents to go. i cried.

they pulled me into the surgery room, and injected half a thing of medication into my iv.

next thing i know, there was a tube in my throat and i couldn’t see. and i no longer had a tumor.

i made a noise that meant “get this tube out of my throat” but sounded like “HRNNNNNG.”

nothing happened.

i went “HRNNNNNNG” again, louder this time.

the only response was the sound of a nurse picking up the phone, saying “yeah, she’s not up yet…”

at that, i made a very loud sound and started slapping the side of the bed. the nurse went “oh!! there she is now!!” and took the tube out of my throat.

i fell back asleep after she called my parents and told them it was time for them to come up.

when my parents arrived, i was finally able to go back to my room. as we walked there, my parents told me that as the surgeons had looked inside me, they had also found that my appendix was inflamed, and had taken it out.

full circle i guess.

i got lunch after i went back up to my room. it had been 48 hours since i’d eaten and i was HUNGRY. i ate so much that when it was time for me to try and walk, i vomited, three times. at high velocity.

then it was time for me to go home. what they don’t tell you is, well, the surgery i had was a laparoscopy, and that means they pump air into your stomach. so what sucks about that is the air tries to escape by going up, and every time you stand you can FEEL it pushing against your collarbone, threatening to break it from the force.

i would later find out a girl at school had spread rumors that i was faking the surgery. that the signing of the “get well soon” card had been accompanied by many snide comments that didn’t get written down.

it was hard. but i healed.

or at least i thought i did.

starting yesterday, i felt the pain again. the unmistakable pain.

here we go again.

#storytime #this is stupid sorry

[muffinbeliever]

Neighborly Love [01]

Pairing: Coworker!Dean Winchester x Coworker!Reader

Word Count: 2100

Warnings: minor language, dean is a dick

Summary: Coworker!AU– Dean Winchester is the newbie around the office, and also your new cubicle neighbor. You have him all figured out from the start: a jerk, or so you think. It doesn’t help that he won’t stop flirting with you. Will Dean be able to convince you otherwise? 

A/N: hello hello hello I KNOW IVE BEEN GONE but i wrote this for my narrative writing class with the intention of turning it into a fanfic so technically ive been writing ! it was originally for the coworker au square in my fluff bingo board, but the more i write it, the more i want it to be a regular series so here it is!

Masterlist | Neighborly Love Masterlist 

The corner cubicle offered you only one neighbor, and the departure of the cubicle’s last occupant, Adam, left a cold, empty feeling inside of you. While you had only known each other for a month, it still hurt when he had suddenly left without even saying goodbye. For the past couple of weeks, you wished there was someone next door for you to talk with and mildly complain to, but today you welcomed the solitude. 

After catching your boyfriend of two years in bed with another girl the night before, you seriously considered calling in sick today. The last thing you wanted to do was work. What you really wanted to do was bundle up in blankets and wallow in bed, but you knew that if you were at home, all you would do is replay the sight of your now ex-boyfriend in bed with that blonde girl, and you would rather stab yourself with a rusty fork than relive that disaster. 

So, you went to work. 

It was Monday– the Mondayest Monday if you ever knew one. You woke up bleary-eyed and puffy-faced thirty minutes after your alarm supposedly went off. You burned your thumb making coffee and tripped on an overturned corner of your rug on the way out. Traffic was a bitch, and it took you ten minutes to find a parking spot. And now, like icing on the cake, your supervisor, Chuck, was headed your way. You quickly opened the first file on your desktop so you weren’t caught staring at a blank screen. Chuck’s monotonous voice met your ears and you turned to face him, only to meet his back. 

“This is your desk. You can decorate it however you want, I really don’t care,” he said flatly, addressing the person in front of him. You huffed, your chair swiveling back to the computer. You had been eagerly waiting for a new neighbor, but not today. Any day but today. 

“Too bad I left all my Playboy posters at home,” a deep voice responded. 

It was a guy. A crude, cocky guy if his poor taste in jokes was any indication. You internally groaned. You had encountered so many guys just like him– in fact, you just dated one. You knew exactly who he was even before saying hello.

“It’s time for my break. Don’t bother me unless it’s urgent.” Chuck left without waiting for a response, leaving you alone with the mystery man.

Your eyes stayed glued to the screen in front of you, but you barely registered its contents. Instead, you focused on the cubicle to your right. 

The partition blocked him from your view, but you heard a thump! as his box was set down, causing your desk to tremble under your fingertips. The faint scent of his cologne wafted past. There was clinking as objects were moved around, followed by the distinct sound of papers shuffling.

You debated on introducing yourself and giving him the benefit of the doubt, but a larger, more stubborn part of you wanted nothing to do with him, certain he was exactly the type of guy you expected. You heard your mother’s voice, chastising you for judging a book by its cover, and you felt a momentary lapse of guilt, knowing that your parents would be disappointed by your actions. In hopes of masking the small, fleeting bout of shame, you convinced yourself that you were being a good person by letting him settle in quietly, rather than overwhelming him with introductions and questions. 

Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the silence that fell over the neighboring cubicle. What you did notice, however, was the distinct sound of the mystery man clearing his throat, which snapped you back to reality. Irked by his sudden intrusion, you spun in your chair to face him, but your witty retort died on your lips when you saw him.

His eyes were intensely green and twinkled under the harsh fluorescents– although, how that was even possible was lost on you. Freckles dotted the bridge of his nose like paint lightly splattered against canvas. His short, dark hair was softly spiked, and his lips quirked into a teasing smirk when he caught you staring. 

“Like what you see?” He asked, in a smooth, flirtatious tone that you were certain he had perfected over the years of picking up women. Your laugh was cold.

“I’d like it a lot better if you let me go back to work,” you snapped. He raised a dark brow. 

“Just so we’re on the same page, when you say ‘work’, you mean staring at a three-year-old document and not working, right?” He gave you a pointed look. 

Your head whipped to the screen, mentally cursing when you saw the date; he was right. It was an outdated spreadsheet of the company’s clients. 

“Do you want something? Or did Chuck just hire you to annoy me?” You huffed, steering the conversation away from your blatant lie.

“Please,” he scoffed, “Chuck doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you, or me, or the company. That dude is here for one thing and one thing only: the money. I, however, will take your number, since you’re offering.” He gave you a cliche wink. You blinked. 

“I wasn’t,” you bit back. 

“No?” He cocked a dark brow. “You asked if I wanted something, and that’s what I want,” he stated plainly. “Unless you’re more of a let’s-not-talk-it’s-just-sex type of girl,” he added. “Then, I don’t need your number, just a time and a place.” Your eye twitched as you restrained yourself from slapping the shit-eating grin off his face. 

“How about you do both of us a favor and go fuck yourself,” you snapped, before turning back to your desk. 

“Only if you’re there to watch,” came his cheeky response. 

You clenched your jaw and took a deep breath, coming to the conclusion that you should’ve stayed in bed this morning. One look at Chuck’s closed door was enough to convince you that it wasn’t too late to do just that. You made quick work of turning off your computer and grabbing your things before making your way to the elevator, not sparing the green-eyed man a second glance. 

The next morning, you were ready. You had given yourself a pep-talk in the bathroom mirror about stupid manwhores and shitty green-eyed men. You strutted down the lines of cubicles in a pair of heels that you affectionately referred to as your Fuck You Platforms. You imagined breezing by him to your desk, but your best-laid plans crumbled at the sight of his empty chair. His computer was on, and there was a steaming mug of black coffee next to a bag of Hershey’s Kisses. You huffed in annoyance. If anyone could unknowingly ruin plans, it would be him. 

You stepped into your side of the partition, and your gaze immediately honed in on the little silver-wrapped chocolates carefully placed on your desk spelling out, “SRY.”

“What the,” you muttered, setting your bag down so you could better inspect the treats. There was no note, but you had a sneaking suspicion of who had left them. You threw them by the handful onto the desk of the neighboring cubicle before settling into your chair, hoping at least one of them landed in his coffee. You scrolled through your email and forwarded project updates to Chuck even though you knew he never bothered to read them.

Chuck was single-handedly the most incompetent supervisor you’d ever had. He never bothered to check in on projects nor did he enforce deadlines. He only cared about the long line of zeros on his paycheck. You didn’t blame him, though. You also would only do the bare minimum and get paid for it if you could.

A couple of minutes passed before heavy footsteps and a familiar scent of cologne grew close. 

“I see you didn’t like my apology,” he noted, gesturing towards your empty desk. Then he spotted the candy strewn about his desk. “I guess you didn’t like my Kisses, either,” he added.

He swiped the twenty-or-so chocolates into his hand and placed them back in the bag. You watched him from the corner of your eye as he sipped his coffee, and you smiled when he frowned at the mug.

“I don’t take candy from strangers,” was your simple reply. You opened the spreadsheet for your current project, trying to ignore the man next to you.

“I’m actually your coworker. Technically your neighbor. Hardly a stranger,” he corrected, much to your frustration. 

“Jesus Christ, do you ever stop talking? I have shit to do! You and I both know we’re only here to work. We don’t have to hold hands and sing Kumbaya,” you exclaimed, exasperated. 

“You’re too young to hate your job and be bitter about it,” he stated, after a beat of silence. You rolled your eyes.

“You don’t even know me.”

“And you don’t know me, but that doesn’t stop you from making assumptions, huh?” You wasted no time responding. 

“Actually, I know exactly who you are. You realized in college that you could use your good looks and cheesy lines to get girls into bed, and once that happens, you either wham-bam-thank you ma’am her, or you keep sleeping with her until she catches feelings for you, and then one day you decide to give in to her advances and date her for two years before getting bored and fucking the next girl who will spread her legs for you!” 

Your throat burned as tears brimmed your eyes, threatening to fall. You stared at his green eyes that were widened with shock from your outburst, and took a deep breath before continuing

“Now, can I get back to my spreadsheet, or are you going to keep bothering me?” You had barely turned back to your desk before the man next to you spoke. 

“So… I’m guessing you got cheated on?” Hesitation laced his voice. You was hit by a wave of guilt, and your shoulders dropped as you slumped in defeat. You shuffled your feet until you were facing him once again before giving him a sheepish smile.

“What gave it away?” You tried to joke, but your voice cracked, and you were unsuccessful in your attempt to swallow the lump in your throat. You turned away and hastily wiped away a stray tear that had escaped. 

“Here,” he said, offering you a tissue. You accepted it without a fuss.

“Thanks.” 

A beat of silence passed. 

“Sorry for being a bitch,” You started, but the green-eyed man shrugged. 

“Trust me, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there before.”

“Right,” You scoffed in disbelief. “Like anyone would cheat on you.” He shrugged again.

“You’d be surprised.” He stuck his hand out before you could respond. “Dean.” 

You stared at the extended hand. The guilt was back and bigger than before. Maybe you were being a tad bit irrational. With a sigh, you shook his hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Such a pretty name for a pretty girl.” Dean winked. You quickly retracted your hand from his grasp. You began to berate yourself for being foolish and doubting your instincts, but stopped once you saw the mirth sparkling in his green eyes. 

“Funny,” you said, not finding it funny in the slightest. 

“Sorry,” he winced. “Too soon?” 

“Yeah, I think one day is too soon.” He let out a low whistle.

“Yikes. I figured it was pretty raw, but not that raw.” He reached into the bag of Kisses and gently placed a handful on the corner of your desk. “You definitely need these more than I do.” 

“Thanks, I always wanted pity chocolates,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your voice. He gave you a knowing look and you rolled your eyes before unwrapping a Kiss and popping it in your mouth. You tried to hide your sigh of relief from the silky chocolate, but Dean caught it right away.

“Good, huh?” He sported a triumphant smile. 

“Not bad,” You admitted, a hint of a smile dancing on your lips. The silence was long. You cleared your throat before it could get awkward. 

“I’m gonna,” you motioned towards your screen, “You know.” 

“Of course,” he said dramatically, grasping at his chest. “Your spreadsheet awaits.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes at his childish antics, before turning to your desk and getting back to work. 

Taglist: @akshi8278 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @lanea-1 @slamminmine @bluedragonflylady @cevans-winchester

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester x female reader #y/n x dean winchester #reader x dean winchester #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #dean winchester angst #supernatural #supernatural series #muffinbeliever

[hailieshapedbox]

ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

#disgression sorry this is so long and un organized the sleep dep is in fact hitting but i am so fucking happy for the change #exponential #im gonna start talking about my story from taking my mom and brother to alternating shelters at age 12 and the recovery that is #finally taking place #i probably wont do it here i might make a new yt or go on tiktok to talk about it face to face but tumblr is my home and this #this is where its gonna start. sleep deprived scatterbrained and all<3 #love you all #oh and always hmu if you needa talk whatever it may be<3 #hailieshapedbox #recovery #AA #NA #alcoholics anonymous #alcoholism #allergy #change #change is a process #life #love #trippy #drugs #smoke #weed #marijuana #cannabis #420 #710 #stoner #hippie #blunts

[reavenedges-lies]

Have you tried finishing One Piece the anime series? Apparently it's going to take you almost two months if you hardcore binge watch them lol

So fortunately for me and unfortunately for the bestie the answer to this is absolutely not. I caught up with the manga earlier this year, I've been caught up since July, since Ive caught up have been watching all of the new episodes of one piece week by week with my best friend. I would not be able to stomach going back and watching that much because I don't have the patience for that nor do I have the attention span, but more importantly the reason why I originally started the manga was because I don't like filler and fluff.

So I don't mind some filler that's fine but with how far they caught up so quickly and the fact that they've slowed down the pacing in the anime so they didn't catch up with the manga means most of it is fluff towards the back end. And unfortunately I physically would not be able to deal with that going back through stuff that I do already know.

Now I know it only took me from April till July to catch up with the manga completely but in all actuality it would have been a much quicker had I not decided I was just going to take like a month break multiple times through that. Like I had 26 chapters to read when Oda did his 3-week break for his surgery and I refuse to read it until he got back from his break which was July 10th. So that's at least 3 weeks where I didn't read anything from June to July on top of all of the other mini breaks or like weeks on end that I refuse to read it. It should have only taken me about a month to read. Like I had done the math at the time it would have taken me 18 days or something like that to read it if I just kept reading. So no I don't currently have any plans of going back and watching all of One Piece but I will cop up to watching opla with the best friend like the weekend it came out

#rea answers #thanks for rhe ask lovely! #anon ask #ren watches anime with the bestie

[duskwoodgirl4life]

Falling for you

I have been with Jake for almost 1 year now it will be are 1 year anniversary on valentine's Day. I really wanted too spend it with him but he's having too move location and doesn't know when he'll be able too contact me.

I had ordered him something special for are special day I got him a while gold dog tag with both our names engraved with the date we first met.

It's finally Friday and Ive finished work for my 2 week break, I through my stuff on the sofa and kick off my shoes. I go take a shower and change into my sweats and one of Jake's hoodies that he left behind for me. I grab a glass of wine and sit down on the sofa as I switch on the tv my phone beeps. I pick it up hoping it's a message from Jake as it's our anniversary tomorrow. I open up the message and it's confirmation of my flight too Paris looking further at the email I notice that the flight is for tonight, I sit back and I know this as too be Jake. A smile spreads across my face I get up from the sofa and pull my suitcase down from the wardrobe and start packing.

I double check I have everything before my cab arrives too take me too the airport, I'm nervous and excited at the same time I can't wait too see my hacker. I'm finally on my way too the airport,I do the online check-in on my phone and check my luggage as a carry on since it's only a small case.

When I arrive at the airport I go too the gate and board the plane. As I settle down in my seat the stuades comes over and taps me on the shoulder. She's telling me that my ticket as been upgraded too first class. I look at her confused but I go along with it, as she pulls back the curtain I notice that there is rose petals and champagne with little candles the ones that you put battery's in.

I look around in shock I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Has Jake really done all of this? But now? I really needed answers too the millions of questions going round my head right now.

As I sit down a tall man comes from the back and pulls down his hood, my eyes widened Jake was sat right next too me.

MC: Jake!! How did you... When did you...

Jake: hello my angle, I've had this planned for some time now

MC: I can't believe you have done all this it's beautiful

Jake: I've missed you so much

MC: I've missed you too baby

I see Jake's lips coming towards mine his soft warm lips come crashing down on mine we both break away catching our breath getting much needed oxygen.

Jake: I have something too tell you

MC: what is it Jake?

Jake: I am now a free man

MC: OMG!! really? Is this for real

Jake: yes my angle I am not free

I wrap my arms around Jake and hold him close, I reach into my bag and pull out Jake's gift.

MC: it's officially midnight which means it's now out 1 year anniversary, so I got you this gift

Jake takes the box and opens up the gift he takes out the dog tags and reads what's engraved on it.

Jake: it's beautifulz thank you so much my love, Jake put the box down and put on the dog tags

Jake: I have a gift for you my love, Jake reaches into his backpack and pulls out a box, MC will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?

MC: Yes!! Yes!!! Jake I will, Jake takes the ring from the box before putting the ring on her finger he shows her what's engraved on the ring. For two souls that are internally connected

MC: I love you Jake

Jake: I love you too MC

#duskwood #duskwood jake #everbyte game #duskwood hacker #iamjake #i love you jake #duskwood jake x mc #jake x mc #fallin for you

[anandasamsara]

i guess im in a new low for my depression

im kind of afraid of going outside. its not really fear, but its uncomfortable to think about getting out of the house and i feel like i dont deserve to??

which tangles with the "there are relatively good things happening between the bad ones, but the good things happening arent the ones that should be happening, so i cant feel good about them"

like, i guess my parents are actually really divorcing this time, which is the bad thing, but ive been able to get a few conventions down for the next two months, which should be good, but what i actually need to happen is a real job that i can use to pay rent if/when my dad goes away, which is both bad and good, bc i dont actually want a job bc i dont feel like i can put up with any more stress, but i do want dad to leave bc its been impossible with him here, so i need the job...

my anxiety has also been manifesting as rashes and acne bc the feeling isnt enough anymore for my brain to let me know there are things wrong all around even tho theres not much i can do about it other than worry

i also dont feel human bc i dont want to deal with everything, i dont want a job, i dont want to feel, ive been sleeping for like almost 15 hours per day, havent washed my hair in two weeks and dont feel any motivation to keep going

im trying tho, but the only thing that makes me feel a little bit better is thinking about the big convention thats coming up in july, but i know i shouldnt be thinking about it bc i need a stable job and income to pay the bills, and then it stresses me out and i feel burnt out and not wanting to exist

and then i catch myself thinking on how much better my mom's life would have been if i wasnt born, and then i blame my parents for everything bc i sure as hell didnt ask to be here and have to deal with expectations in a world that will never be accomodating to any of my limitations that i only learned i had after becoming a legal adult bc i was the gifted child and never had to think about it before

and this limitations keep surprising me still bc now i cant keep up with my friends for most things, i cant lift much weight even tho my arms can take it, i cant go up anything steeper than a 20° angle without struggle, cant be on my feet for more than 4 hours a day, and if its cold or too hot it goes down to 2 hours max, if i get cramps on my left leg it can take up to 3 days to get better and who know wht can happen if i fall down stairs again. theres a hook holding the bone in place, and if i break it, no idea if it can be fixed

and im still called lazy, or irresponsible, or someone has the guts to send me a job offer of babysitter or tell me that if i have to leave the post grad to be a cashier in a supermarket, that's life for me

i did leave, i cant afford it and it was turning out to be an awful place with awful professors

i was counting with the conventions to keep the post grad and try to go back to therapy, but this is the second month with none and as i get desperate, i also get hit repeatedly with my own limits and my own self worth that says i only have my body in this life so i shouldnt sacrifice it, but then i know i wont have much choice soon, so again, why am i even here to start with? i did not sign up for this, i do not want to be here

#personal

[bambaooo]

2022

i doubt anyone is still on here anymore lol. shit, i barely am, i saw the las thing i posted and i dont even remember when it was lol

but yeah, 2022 was a wild ass year. alot has happened, and probably the most eventful year of my adult life thus far. 

soooo, in january was my last month of work at my job at the time. I was put in a weird position where the contract I was working for ended early and i was laid off. i feel like any other person would have been freaking out, but luckily i was still finishing up my last semester of grad school. For the first time since graduating undergrad was basically free any not working. coming from me, ive since i was in highschool I was always the type of person to want to work work work and make bread. So basically from once i could work when I was 16, i was working every chance i could get until this month. I looked at it as my opportunity to finally take somewhat of a break from working cause I know I wouldnt get an opportunity like this again. 

Although i did have hella plans for the next 6-8 months after finishing my job, i still had grad school to finish so basically from February to like Mayish I kinda just laid low and just took hella walks, worked out, and did school. i was going to sleep pretty late every night, waking up whenever and just going with the flow. there were some events scattered here and there like family parties, Allison’s cousins’ wedding in march which was fun. 

But come end of April into May, is when the real fun shit began. Went to the first of many muisical preformances. the first one was Brian McKnight which was wild. He is hella good live. and then shorly after I finished grad school.  First I finished grad school with two fucking masters degrees. One witha  4.0 and the other with a 3.9. I want to take a moment to realize how wild that is. In undergrad I legit was on academic warning and have a 1.7 gpa LOL. shit was wild. But also early on in May we went to see jame arthur in silver spring which was fun. Around mid May I went to Miami fora  day trading conference, definately a wild expereince. I learned a lot, but also met a lot of cool people. First solo trip and it was fun. A few weeks later went to my friends wedding wehre i got to catch up with other hommies and it was chill. 

Before we knew it, it was June. Something in the water was definiately something to remember, dope to see all these live performances and just be out and about. Glad to have experienced once while it was in DC for probably the only time ever. And literally a day or two after I went to trip 2 of the summer to Massachusettes for adrians weddings. First time doing a road trip like that, and it was pretty fun. Being with old friends, in a new area, just enjoying life. I was able to eat edibles, get drunk. and try lobster by itself for the first time ever and it was a good time. Stopped by in jersey on the way back and went to jersey smorgasburg and it was dope! it just kinda sucked a little while after, cause I found out i had covid a day or 2 after coming back from from the trip. but luckily it was very mild and was good to back by 4th of july. 

After a few more weeks in july, i was on my way to SoCal. 2nd a last solo trip. this trip was probably one of my favorite trips I have taken in my life to be honest. teh weather was good, was able to go to the OC fair, smorgasburg LA, and went to a reggae festival. I know the way I am with island music might seem a little weird to people, but shit, that festival was fun af. Going to concerts by yourself is fun af. Also while I was there i got to meet up with some VCU hommies and my cousin! 

After getting back home it was only a few more weeks until the last trip of the summer. Me and Allisons first trip of the year to Miami after her semester ended. It was fun too cause i didnt really go to the beach when I went in May. And I got to eat a bunch of food that I didnt get to eat the first time too. Its honestly just nice to hangout and do what we normally do, but in a different environment. 

A few weeks afterr we did a little trip to RVA/charlottesville. Allsion got us tickets for WIcked and it was dope. We were able to explore around richmond, and I got to show allsion on my favorite places to eat in rva. 

During this whole last few months from July to septermber I was consistently apply for jobs, going through interviews be lowkey being stressed about job searching. I was stressed, but not that stressed cause I knew id get a bite eventually but not knowing when was stressful. Luckily in september I got my first offer and was able to start my job in october. Fully remote and working in my field. 

October was a bunch of going back and forth between DC for work stuff and learning shit. November I kinda realized that I will have a lot of free time and that its gonna be alot of free time and pulled the trigger on fulfilling my lowkey dream of working in a grocery store. 

Holidays this year were very chill and nothing to crazy. Thanksgiving we bounced around between Allisons and My family. Christmas was more bouncing around MD and VA, being around familiy and enjoying ourself. It was honestly the first time in a while that Christmas felt like something worth celebrating. Also I actually reached out and caught up with friends. Like i feel like its very rare for it to happen, but getting together with my friends is something I will always enjoy. and tonight its NYE. My ass is at home, with no plans cause I got work a whole foods tomorrow and im completely okay with it. My life has been full of celerations and family and im okay with going into the new year chill. 

2022 has honestly been such a blessing. Going into the new year, many people want to exceed what they did in the previous year, but im already at the point that I am accepting that this past year was just so crazy that 2023 might just be a chill year. I remember I had a year i called teh “rebuild” in like 2017 or 2018, when it came to lifitng, but this will be a different type of rebuild, financial and health rebuild. I want to get my money right and get back lifting again.

but yeah, 2022 has been just full of blessing and i am fortunante to have been able to do the things that I have been able to do this year. Unlike 2022, I do not have any big plans for the year, and whatever happens will happen. Im excited for it, and am ready for what ever comes back at me. 

#12312022

[umichenginabroad]

Week 6: Peaked (literally)

Welcome back to my blog! I'm a bit behind so I'll be posting weeks 7-9 within the next few days as well :) Thanks for your patience, life abroad gets busy real quick!

CSE UAO visitors

This week we had visitors from the University of Michigan CSE UAO, IPE, and CGIS offices! All the students in the program were able to chat with them about how things are going in Prague, in terms of academics, accommodations, social life, and anything else relevant to our well-being here. I’d like to give a special shoutout to Julie and Shelby from the CSE Undergraduate Advising Office (UAO) for making the trip! I’ve been looking forward to their visit and was so thrilled to catch up with them both :) For those of you who may not know, I worked as a CSE Peer Advisor this past semester and absolutely loved my role in supporting other CSE students and helping out around the office. I highly admire all of the UAO staff for their kindness and dedication to bettering the CSE community, and Julie and Shelby are a prime representation of their hard work. Also a shoutout to all the visitors for conveying some of our concerns to the IFSA staff, particularly in regards to our Spring Break (which was more like a singular day off) and our exam accommodations in Prague. We now have an extra day off of school, making our break a 5 day weekend! Also, we have more clarity from our professors on what to expect from our midterms and exams here, due to mandatory practice exams and added transparency in format and grading. Thank you all, we’re happy you came and glad you made it back safely!

Vyšehrad

I showed my dad around Vyšehrad hill, which was the location of our first architecture tour. Situated next to the Vltava and Botič river valley, Vyšehrad is very strategically located for defending Prague, and was first incorporated into Prague’s medieval defense scheme by King Charles IV. Following the siege of the Swedish forces at the end of the Thirty Years’ War in 1648, Emperor Ferdinand III began to fortify Prague, including transforming Vyšehrad into a formidable fortress. In an earlier blog, I wrote about two churches within the fortress, a rotunda and basilica, with rich architecture and even richer history. This time, I’m going to focus on new sites & views within the walls that I found while exploring with my dad! 

First we explored the Vyšehrad Cemetery, the resting place of some of the most influential people in Prague’s history. Within we found the graves of political figures, musicians, composers, artists, priests, reformers, and more. Notably, I found the grave of Milada Horakova, a Czech politician, a women’s rights activist, and an anti-Nazi and democratic resistance leader, which was special because I did a presentation on for my Essential Czech class. Her grave is pictured below (with flowers).

Next we peeked into an old bunker (bottom right photo) that used to be a food cellar for the royals of the first ruling dynasty in Bohemia, but is now a museum. After, we climbed the hill adjacent to the old residence and the views of Prague (the two photos on the left side) were immaculate. It was peak daylight and there was clear visibility for miles, offering the most amazing views of the Vltava river and the bridges that span it. We ended our visit at one of the coffee shops atop Vyšehrad and got some crepes and coffee before parting ways.

Josefov (Jewish Quarter)

One of the most significant places that my dad and I visited was Josefov, the historical Jewish Quarter of Prague. Dating back to the 10th century, Prague's Jewish community is one of the oldest in Europe. The Jews flourished for centuries here, despite facing persecutions and pogroms before emancipation, and their community contributed significantly to the city's cultural, economic, and intellectual landscape.

To buy tickets we visited the Jewish Museum and got entry to 7 sites as well as an audio guided tour to supplement our visit. Josefov is home to several beautifully preserved synagogues. Among the most notable are the Old-New Synagogue, which is Europe's oldest active synagogue, and the Spanish Synagogue, renowned for its stunning interior (pictured on the bottom left). 

We also visited the Old Jewish Cemetery, which is among the oldest surviving Jewish burial grounds in the world. It was the only place Jews were allowed to bury their people for centuries, so the site is unique for its multiple visible layers of graves. It was quite surreal to see in person.

AnonymouS Bar

Lydia’s best friend Courtney was visiting this week too, so we headed to the infamous Anonymous Bar for drinks Thursday evening. This bar is a hidden gem with a V for Vendetta-inspired interior and employees wearing Guy Fawkes masks. They offer cocktails served in a unique style corresponding to the name of the drink. The drinks pictured on the bottom left are fixed on knife platters, but other drinks we ordered were served on infusion stands and another featured a whole show tossing around a drink lit on fire! They even offered me a separate non-alcoholic anonymous menu since I wasn’t drinking that night, and they were absolutely incredible. Way better than the alcoholic ones in my opinion. The staff was great the entire night and let us stay past our 2-hr reservation time with a mini bribe. I definitely recommend making a reservation if you come to Prague.

Tram interaction

This week, a Czech woman approached me on the subway with a question in Czech. She had asked if we had arrived at Můstek, and I responded with, “Ne, příští stanice Můstek.” She replied “Děkuju!” and sat back down with a smile on her face. Though simple, our brief exchange felt like my first step towards becoming a true local. She not only understood me, but replied in Czech! Acknowledging my progression with the language has been a motivating factor to engage in more local interactions. 

Switzerland

This weekend my dad and I went to Switzerland, which was absolutely incredible. We flew into Zurich on Thursday night as I scrambled to finish up an assignment due at 11:59pm (I turned it in at 12:04… but my prof was nice and didn’t mark it late :) )

On Friday, we spent the morning in Lucerne, which is a beautiful, quaint little town in between Zurich and Interlaken. We got brunch and walked along the water, then drove to Interlaken where we would be spending the next two days! The drive is known to be incredibly scenic, and did not disappoint. After arriving, we checked into our hotel and immediately went for a walk to try and beat the sunset. After wandering for ~45 minutes, we found ourselves an insane viewpoint at an old amusement park and playground. We climbed a random tower to get the views and met these two American students at the top! They were studying in Florence but were here for the weekend as well. I’m sure you could tell by now that my dad and I never shy around talking to strangers :) Afterwards, we got dinner which was arguably the most amazing pasta I’ve had in my life. Bold statement, I know.

On Saturday, we planned to hike Harder Kulm, a mountain peak overlooking the city of Interlaken and its two lakes. It was a pretty steady incline, but we were cruising for the first hour and a half or so. At about the halfway mark my dad told me to continue without him. He’s in decent shape, undoubtedly great for his age, but he had taken a break from running recently so I guess the fatigue hit him hard. I continued to climb and after reaching the first peak, I set out for the tippity top of the mountain. There was a point in the second half of the hike where I truly hadn’t seen a human for about an hour, and there was a lot of snow on the ground so it was hard to see the trail markers, but I kept climbing (with caution). Right as I’m considering turning around, I hear a couple of voices ahead of me so I hurry my step. On the last switchback of the hike, I catch up to a group of 3 other American students studying abroad and, together, we peak the mountain. At the top we got to know each other a bit. They are studying in Geneva, another city in Switzerland, and were also here for the weekend. I ended up spending the next 4 hours or so with them, chatting and making our way down the mountain. It’s crazy how much we ended up having in common. One of the students goes to WashU and knew one of my camp friends and another was in Cape Town at the same time I was this summer! The world really is so small. The hike was also a race trail closer to the bottom, so we picked up the pace and started running down the mountain. This may sound cheesy but I cannot remember a time where I had felt so free. We had hiked around 12 miles by the time we reached the bottom, and had climbed over 4000 feet. I got their instagrams before parting ways, and I plan to keep in touch through social media. Maybe we’ll meet again someday!

Sunday was a bit rainy but my dad and I found a hotel spa to spend the day at. I definitely needed to chill after yesterday, and found myself immersed in salt baths overlooking the cliffs I had recently climbed. Afterwards, I laid in the sauna and washed off in the shower. It was an extremely tranquil experience and perfect before heading to the Zurich airport and eventually back to Prague.

Now again, let me share some ins (what’s working for me) and outs (what has brought me difficulty).

Ins:

Clarifying relationships: Ummm so my dad and I have now been mistaken as a cross-generational couple on numerous occasions, so he began introducing me as his daughter in pretty much every new place or situation we find ourselves in. This has helped us avoid any more humbling and extremely awkward encounters with strangers and their assumptions.

Suiss Chocolate: On a lighter note, the chocolate in Switzerland is to die for. We flew SwissAir in and out of Zurich and they give chocolates as their in-flight snack. Even that was incredible. My dad and I couldn’t help ourselves but to stop at every chocolate shop we passed to sample and make a purchase.

Wandering: Simply wandering around without any strict agenda in new places led to some of our best experiences. From stumbling upon the seemingly abandoned viewpoint on Friday to the new group of friends I met on Saturday’s hike, core memories were made. Highly recommend just living in the present.

Outs:

Staying in touch: I’ve realized how little time I’ve had to catch up with a lot of my friends both in the states and abroad while I’ve been in Prague. By no means is this purposeful or a reflection of how much I think of or care about them, but it’s definitely gotten worse as I’ve begun to travel more. Hopefully this is something I can work on in the coming weeks.

Alcohol: I realized I’ve taken a break from drinking this week, and will likely continue to in the upcoming weeks.

That’s all for now, thanks for reading!

Na shledanou,

Reese Liebman

Computer Science and Engineering

Institute for Study Abroad (IFSA) CS Tech Career Accelerator in Prague, Czechia

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEcsPrague #ReeseLiebman #IPEWinter24 #CzechRepublic

[savethepinecones]

ive got asthma. i run across a crosswalk and i end up wheezing for a good ten minutes. i dont have much stamina or speed and my asthma limits my ability to even improve these. i have an inhaler that im supposed to use multiple times per day and another one that i use whenever my breathing gets bad.

ive had the asthma since i was a baby, but because i wasnt very active (i was more of a music kid than a sports kid), for a long time it didnt have much of an impact on my life. for a solid chunk of my childhood i more or less forgot i had it at all. sure i would get winded easily but thats normal when youre out of shape right? i never excercised so it must just be that.

in the past several years, though, its gotten worse. wildfires affected air quality in my area and i started to occasionally have trouble breathing just from being outside for too long. i finally went to a doctor and got an inhaler (i hadnt bothered to get one in years since i used it so rarely and even if i didnt my breathing would sort itself out. eventually). currently ive got one that im supposed to use multiple times a day and another that i carry with me to use if i get winded while im out and about. even with these, i still cant run much without it affecting my breathing. i dont especially enjoy running so im not too upset by the lack of it in my life but its frustrating that i cant do it on the occasion that i want or need to do so.

ive had a similar journey with my mental health. i ignored it as a kid, convinced myself everything was fine and normal, until i eventually had to admit to myself that that wasnt the case. what most people considered a brisk walk or light jog was more like running a marathon for me. i only worked parttime for years until i was able to get on antidepressants because i knew fulltime would be too much for me without them. when i did start taking meds, it was still difficult but technically possible.

i managed to keep my pace up for two years before i hit a limit i couldnt force myself to push through. whether id finished the marathon or not, i couldnt keep running. so i took a break. i sat down on a bench, drank some water, and waited for my breathing to slow as i watched others run past, going at a similar speed to what id been keeping, but barely looking winded. i knew i wouldnt be able to return to my previous pace. even once my breathing evened out, i was still exhausted. and i couldnt just will that exhaustion away. i tried anyway. once my lungs had stopped hurting, i stood up and started running again. my legs still ached and my breathing quickly worsened but i had to keep moving so i ignored as much as i could and endured the rest. i stopped several times to take a break but i didnt allow myself to sit again. this went on for maybe two weeks before my legs gave out and i had to find another bench.

since then ive been catching my breath. letting my burning limbs rest. i decided that once i was well and truly ready to start running again, i would go slow enough that i could keep a steady pace without wearing myself out. i probably wont work fulltime ever again.

ive more or less caught my breath but my legs are killing me so even though i want to keep moving, im going to go slow. im walking slowly, gradually picking up the pace while being careful not to push myself too hard. its difficult. im not used to acknowledging my limits. i spent two decades thinking that as long as i didnt collapse i was fine. i hadnt allowed myself to slow whenever my breathing became labored. my lungs would ache but i would continue on my sprint regardless. sometimes i still push myself too hard. other times i think im not running fast enough. i catch myself thinking that even if i cant run like everyone else is, i should do as much as i can. i should determine what my limit is and stay just a hair below that speed. its not comfortable, but this has never been comfortable, so what does that matter?

no, i tell myself. your comfort matters. go at whatever speed works for you. i repeat this to myself as i continue to walk. sometimes i jog a little. im surprised to find it enjoyable. ive always been too exhausted to enjoy the run. still, everyone else maintains the same speed theyve had from the start. they look at me walking and criticize me for not running seriously. some say ive had enough time to catch my breath, so i should get back to sprinting now. i tell them i dont think i should. they say im not trying hard enough.

sometimes i look at the people running past and feel guilty for not keeping pace. like ive let myself down somehow. i remind myself that this isnt a race, its more of a jogging path. im allowed to walk if i need to. people run past, scoffing at me for giving up. i havent given up, i want to tell them. im still walking. still making progress.

someone grabs my arm, pulling me forward. forcing me to match their speed. i know theyre trying to help me, but im tripping over my feet in my struggle to keep up. theyre struggling too, i can tell, but they wont allow themselves to stop or slow. you need to do better, they tell me. tiredness is no excuse. i dont know how to explain to them that i passed tired long ago. i pull my arm away. i cant keep up with you. and thats okay. no its not, they tell me. you must run like the rest of us. walking isnt even close to good enough. they run ahead. i jog for a few minutes, enjoying the run, then stop at a bench for a water break. i begin walking again. i remind myself that thats enough.

#idk what this is its late and ive had a shit day #also its 3 am which certainly doesnt help #ive been thinking about the difference between neurotypical standards of functionality and my own #like if neurotypical 100% is working fulltime eating properly socializing maintaining relationships staying on top of chores etc #then reminding myself to eat three times a day and attempting to fix my sleep schedule is a pretty low percentage #even at my best ill never approach that 100% #my ideal would be something like 75% on that scale #and even that is probably out of my reach realistically #at least for the foreseeable future #idk i just feel like people see that im not working #and assume im not trying at all #when the truth is im genuinely doing my best #anyway feel free to reblog #im not sure if this even makes sense but im just tired enough to think that ive just written something brilliant lol #this was more or less just stream of consciousness so sorry if its inconsistent #im too tired to try to edit it so im just sending this massive block of text into the universe as is

[nataliesnews]

There's Only One Way to Describe This Settler Attack: A Pogrom   19.11.2022

Subject: Six members of a family so badly beaten by settlers on their own land...no settler has been arrested...please send this to your friends. At least look at the pictures

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There's Only One Way to Describe This Settler Attack: A Pogrom

A Palestinian family was harvesting olives when a group of settlers swooped down and attacked them with clubs, pipes and stones. Five members of the family were hospitalized, including the 65-year-old father of the household and one of his sons, whose shattered leg will need costly, ongoing rehab. The 8-year-old grandson hid under the family’s pickup

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Mohammed Mashani, with his son Tair, at home this week. “We weren’t frightened, we’re used to it,” Mohammed says.Credit: Alex Levac

Gideon Levy

Alex Levac

Nov 18, 2022 10:41 am IST

Entering the home of the Mashani family in the small town of Al-Shuyukh, north of Hebron in the West Bank, is like paying a visit to a rehabilitation ward in a hospital. Almost every member of the family is hurt, some remain in bandages, a few are limping and all of them have wounds to show us – some of them quite serious.

Mohammed Mashani, 37, is barely able to move around, even with a walker; an opening has been made in his arm for an IV line because an infection that developed in his leg requires antibiotic treatment. He faces a lengthy rehabilitation process.

His 65-year-old father, Ayid, the head of the household, has 16 stitches on one side of his skull and five more on the other side, concealed beneath his red-and-white keffiyeh. The arm of Mohammed’s sister, Maryam, 27, is in a cast.

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This is what a home looks like after a pogrom.

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Mohammed, who has two daughters and a son, is a construction worker who’s employed in the Israeli Arab town of Kafr Qasem and sleeps on the sites of the buildings he’s working on. He only returns home to his family every 25 days. Such is the life of Palestinians working in Israel. It is the solidly built Mohammed, the most badly wounded in the pogrom, who, with his father, tells us what happened.

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Ayid Mashani, the father.Credit: Alex Levac

Early in the morning of Thursday, November 3, six members of the family set out for their olive grove, about 5 kilometers (some 3 miles) from their home – 40 dunams (10 acres) of land from which the stones have been carefully cleared, on which 400 trees are growing. The hour was approximately 6 A.M. In the Toyota pickup were Ayid, his second wife, Afaf, 60, his daughter Maryam, his sons Mohammed, Hamad, 33, and Omar, 30, and Mohammed’s 8-year-old son Tair. They arrived at the grove, spread blankets beneath the trees to catch the olives, and started to harvest the crop. At 8:30 they stopped to eat breakfast.

About 2 kilometers from the grove lies the settlement of Asfar, which was originally established as a military outpost in 1983 and then handed over to ultra-Orthodox settlers; in 1992 they expanded their presence, creating an illegal outpost on land abutting Asfar. Only 60 meters separate the edges of the settlers’ unlawful farm from the olive grove. The Mashani family has suffered harassment on a number of occasions at the hands of the settlers, but what happened that day a few weeks ago outdid all previous attacks.

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A video shot by Hamad with his phone shows how it all began. Settlers, initially about 10 of them, are seen swooping down the hill toward the trees, masked, bent on malice, holding clubs and pipes which they seem to try to hide behind their backs. The raid is carried out with imperiousness – it’s impossible to be mistaken as to who thinks they are the true owners of the land, by virtue of their hooliganism and weapons. Might makes right. Kippahs on their heads and tzitziot (ritual fringes) making a statement of their own, the men stride purposefully and threateningly toward the Mashanis.

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Then, there was a moment of quiet before the storm.

“Why are you making such a mess?” asked Avraham, the leader of the pogromists, whose name they know from previous incidents. The elder of the group, bespectacled, potbellied and sporting a large black kippa, he addressed Ayid in the tone of a Shin Bet security service interrogator.

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Maryam, this week.Credit: Alex Levac

“I am on my land – what mess?” Ayid replied, trying to head off a confrontation.

Put down the camera, Avraham ordered the photographer with a dismissive gesture. “Come on, come on, no cameras,” he barked, like a gang boss.

Ayid says this week that in his opinion, Avraham had wanted to force him onto the road and not clash with him on his own land, in the grove, to bolster the claim later he had not been trespassing and that it was the Mashanis who initiated the attack on the settler-elder.

“Come on, come on, go down there with me,” Avraham shouted at Ayid. “Go down there with me.” The patience of the hooligan Avraham, lord of the land, was threatening to run out. You wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley at night.

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He turned to the family. “Why are you helping him make all the mess?” The “mess” was, of course, their harvesting of their olives on their land. “Why are you trying to disrupt things?” Avraham asked, standing there in the grove.

Ayid, who is solidly built and doesn’t look like someone who scares easily, is seen standing his ground. After a few more exchanges in Hebrew and Arabic, the lord and master could no longer contain himself. “Come with me to the road,” Avraham persisted, shoving Ayid. The three sons moved to protect their father and the phone dropped out of Hamad’s hand, the picture turning upside down and the screen going black.

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Mohammed’s 8-year-old son Tair.Credit: Alex Levac

The pogrom had begun.

In the meantime, an all-terrain vehicle arrived with three more settlers, armed with revolvers, one also carrying a rifle. “We weren’t frightened, we’re used to it,” Mohammed says now. According to him, Avraham attacked Ayid and the two fell to the ground. One of the settlers standing behind them struck Ayid on the head with an iron pipe as he lay there. Stones then started to fly from all directions at the family. Two settlers with two terrifying dogs joined in the festivities, one of them sicced a dog on Mohammed – he shows us the bite marks on his left thigh.

A settler grabbed a large iron rod from the Mashanis’ truck and used it to hit Mohammed’s right leg, shattering it. Mohammed lost consciousness at that point. Maryam, and Ayid’s wife Afaf tried to shield him from further harm, before a rock slammed into Maryam’s arm and broke it. A stone hit Hamad’s ear and perforated the eardrum, his brother Omar was punched in the eye. Ayid still sports a bruise caused by someone’s fist below his eye, in addition to his head wounds, which caused a concussion.

As Mohammed recounts the events of that day, he shows us one by one the relevant wounds and scars on his body; his right leg is bandaged and he can’t stand on it. He recalls feeling as if the leg was hanging in the air, dangling, detached.

At one point Avraham threatened, “You have three minutes to clear out of here, or we’ll keep going.” The Palestinians fled to the Toyota, with Omar and Hamad carrying Mohammed because he couldn’t walk. They then discovered that all this time Mohammed’s son Tair had been hiding under the pickup. The boy was so traumatized he didn’t utter a word for the next three days. This week, too, he was silent during our visit.

Open gallery view

Mohammed is barely able to move around, even with a walker; an opening has been made in his arm for an IV line because an infection that developed in his leg requires antibiotic treatment. He faces a lengthy rehabilitation process.Credit: Alex Levac

Sometime later, after fleeing the grove, the family discovered that the settlers had also sabotaged the tractor they had left behind. They tore cables, poured sand into the gas tank and sugar into the oil pan and slashed the tires. The tractor, now parked in front of their house after neighbors towed it there, is unusable. It’s doubtful that it’s worth repairing.

After driving a few hundred meters, the family stopped to stabilize Mohammed’s leg with two planks. Omar, who was driving the pickup, momentarily lost consciousness. A Palestinian ambulance that had been summoned to their house in Al-Shuyukh was already waiting, and rushed the wounded – Mohammed, Hamad, Omar and Ayid – to Alia Hospital in Hebron. Maryam and Afaf joined them immediately afterward.

Hamad underwent surgery on his ear, which was stitched up, Omar’s swollen eye was treated, Maryam’s arm was set in a cast, and Afaf underwent catheterization, as her heart seemed to be in danger from all the fear and stress. Mohammed was operated on and a platinum plate 45 centimeters (17.7 inches) long was inserted in his leg; after five days he was transferred to the Specialized Surgery Hospital of the Arab Society for Rehabilitation in Beit Jala, adjacent to Bethlehem. He’s had to pay about 8,000 shekels out of pocket for his treatment there so far.

Ayid was discharged from Alia Hospital the next day, his head stitched up. Three days after the incident, the family filed a complaint at the Etzion police station. Master Sgt. Nadav Nissim, who took the complaint, promised to update them.

Most of the olives remained on the trees in the family grove until this past Tuesday when, in coordination with the army, the family was able to go about harvesting their crop.

    There's Only One Way to Describe This Settler Attack: A Pogrom   19.11.202 e