#very depressing song overall actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doitforbangchan · 2 months

Text

All Bark and No Bite 11

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!)

Chapter warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (p in v), kissing, suggestive, crying, cursing, fingering, biting, hair pulling, dubcon?, subspace, HardDom!Chan, SoftDom!Felix, fluff, angst, anxiety, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and probably more but idk let me know This one ain't as sweet as the last few

WC:6.8k

In a strange turn of events, it seems Chan woke up before you did this time. Not that you were complaining; especially when you awoke to him running his warm fingers over your mating mark absentmindedly, feeling the indented skin. Every little touch felt like electricity coursing through you, as if the zaps were bringing you back to life. Overall it was a very pleasant way to wake up.

His hand that wasn’t touching your neck had his phone and he was listening to music with one ear bud in his ear on a low volume. You let out a low ‘hm’ letting him know you were awake now.

“Good morning, my omega.” Chans voice was raspy from sleep. He must have only just woken up not long ago himself. He didn’t say anything else, just held you tighter.

Moments like this were Chan's favorite. Being able to wake up to you; his mate, his omega, the love of his life - there was nothing better. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been before having you here. He never felt as complete as he did right in this moment.

“Can I listen with you?” You mumbled sleepily. You wanted to hear what your alpha listened to. Wordlessly he took his other earbud and slipped it into your own ear. ‘Give me love’ By Ed sheeran was playing through the bud, the sweet melodies flooding your senses.

‘Give a little time to me or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

My, my, my, my, oh give me love’

It had been so long since you had heard this song, you used to sing this all the time in your room when you were younger and waiting to fall hopelessly in love. It felt fitting that now you were here laying in bed with your soulmate, who you had fallen hopelessly in love with.

Chan began to sing along softly to the music playing, serenading you quietly.

‘Maybe I should let you go

You know I'll fight my corner

And that tonight I'll call ya

After my blood is drowning in alcohol

No I just wanna hold ya’

The alpha squeezed you a little tighter after he sang those words, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Your heart fluttered at the action. The two of you laid there together for probably an hour, just enjoying each other's company while he sang each song that played.

Eventually though, you both had to get up as there was work to be done. For Chan anyways. You had to make breakfast and get ready to leave with Jisung and Felix. Chan had a lot to do today himself. He had been neglecting his actual job in his family business and if he was going to take another day off tomorrow to go camping then he definitely needed to make all his calls and emails today.

“Are you excited to do more shopping with the betas today?” the alpha asked as you were both getting out of bed.

“Yes. I am.” You seemed apprehensive.

“Buuuuut?” He pressed, knowing something was troubling you.

“I just.. Feel bad.. About spending more of your money. I didn’t do anything to deserve you guys spending all this money on me.” You were avoiding eye contact with him as you went to brush your teeth.

Chan stopped you before you could enter his bathroom, arm out to block you. “Baby.” you kept your head down not wanting to look at him, now that you had embarrassed yourself again. When you didn’t acknowledge him he let out a frustrated growl, “Omega, look at me now.” you had no choice but to look at him, he used a command on you.

You were lucky that was all he did, he had wanted to grip your hair and make you look at him forcefully. Chan had a problem when people didn’t listen to him, especially his omega. Some would say he thrives off of non-sexual dominance. They would be correct. The alpha was used to getting his way practically his whole life. He would forgive you now, you were still learning.

Instead of yanking your hair he settled for petting it softly. “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t intend to be mean to you.” At his gentle words and even gentler touch you forgot about the command being used on you, leaning into his hand. “You need to understand that my money is your money. In fact this whole packs money is yours to spend as you please. The other boys would agree with me. Ok?” He waited for your words of agreement and when they didn’t come he egged them on. “You wanna be good for us right? Good omegas listen to their alphas.”

You wanted to be good for him so badly, really it’s all you wanted. There was a glimpse of panic on your face at the prospect of upsetting your mate. “ I’ll be good! I promise!” You nodded rapidly.

He gave you his signature boyish grin, dimples on display, then leaned in and gave you a kiss, nipping your lip as he pulled back. “I know you will, Baby. You’re the best Omega I know.” You purred at his praise, finding it addicting. “We gotta get a move on, lots to do today if we’re going camping tomorrow.” He let you go into the bathroom to do your business and such.

You went to pick out an outfit for today, deciding to sport some jean shorts and a basic black tank top. After that you had a quick shower and did light makeup. Simple but you felt cute nonetheless.

When you both finally made your way down to the main floor you found Minho and Changbin sat at the kitchen island making a list of what you would need for camping tomorrow. More like Minho had roped Changbin into helping him because the beta was a planner and liked to have things ready.

“Finally! Hyung needs help deciding what to do for food tomorrow and Saturday morning. Any suggestions?” Changbin exclaimed as he saw Chan, giving the older alpha pleading eyes.

“Good morning to you too Changbin. Oh I slept great, thanks for asking.” Chan quipped sarcastically, and Changbin rolled his eyes with a groan of annoyance.

“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” The younger alpha asked you, trying to get on his Hyungs nerves. He cackled when it worked, Chan letting out a huff.

You giggled, “Morning, Binnie. I slept wonderfully. Thank you for asking.”

“Yeah yeah good morning whatever, can we get back to this now?” Minho was getting frustrated, “We literally only have right now to think about this.”

“Fine.” Changbin reached forward and grabbed you by the hips, laughing when you squealed, and setting you on his lap. “What do you think, baby? Any suggestions?”

You leaned back against Changbins chest, feeling the muscles behind you, head on his shoulder while you pondered. “Do you think we should do easy things? Like maybe bring a bunch of premade stuff like sandwiches and maybe breakfast burritos for the morning we can just wrap in foil and throw on the grill?”

“That sounds like a great idea, omega.” Chan replied, leaning on the counter opposite you.

“Yeah! To make it even easier we can place an order for them and pick them up from the diner in town before we leave tomorrow morning.” Changbin agreed, tickling your sides mercifully. He kissed the side of your head when you giggled at him, ignoring the throbbing in his pants caused by your squirming. “Smarty pants.”

Minho nodded in agreement, writing down how many of each he approximated you would all need. “Ok so twenty of each.”

“Twenty?! Why twenty of each, there are only nine of us!” You objected confused, looking at Minho as if he had grown a second head.

“Have you not seen how much these guys eat? Changbin himself could probably put away half of them if you’d let him.” He was looking back at you as if you were the crazy one.

“Hey!” Changbin protested but didn’t fight too hard, knowing Minho was right.

“Yeah Bin, you’ll probably end up eating both of yours and the rest of Felix’s like you always do.” Chan poked fun at the younger alpha.

“What are we talking about? I heard my name.” right on queue Felix walked into the room you were all in.

“We’re talking about the plans for tomorrow, trying to get things taken care of.” Minho sighed, standing from his seat. “Speaking of which, I need to make calls for these orders to be picked up in the morning and then get the other stuff together.” He seemed stressed as he walked away.

“Is he ok?” You asked, worried for the beta.

“Oh yeah he's fine, Min is a planner and likes to get things done in advance. He’s probably going to find Innie to make him help get all the camping stuff out of the garage.” Chan answered, taking an apple off the counter and taking a bite.

At the sight of his apple you remembered your task, “ Do you guys want breakfast?” You went to hop down from Changbins lap but he only held you tighter against him, refusing to let you go.

“Ji should be back any second with pasties and coffee. He wanted to surprise you baby. Annnnd now i’ve ruined it, fuck.” Felix cursed, looking remorseful at having spoiled the fun.

Chan clicked his tongue in mock disappointment, shaking his head. “Way to go, Felix.”

“Hey leave him alone, he's just a boy!” Changbin defended the beta playfully, you leaning into him and huffing in agreement.

“Did somebody say Jisung?!?” A loud voice came from the front door, almost an announcement of his presence. A moment later the boy in question came sauntering in, sunglasses still over his eyes and holding a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries.

“No.” Changbin laments, “Go away.”

“Fine I guess you don’t want the cherry tart I got especially for you, Binnie.” Jisung made a show of wafting the bag up to his nose, “Mmmmm all for me then. Here is yours, my baby. A sweet treat for an even sweeter girl.” He handed you a chocolate croissant and a coffee.

You felt your face heat up as you accepted the pastry. “Thank you Ji.” When Binnie was distracted making grabby hands at the bag that jisung had set down, you took the opportunity to slip off his lap.

“Anything for you.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you closer to him. “Anyways, let's get this show on the road!” with his coffee in one hand and you in the other he set off towards the door. Chan held out a credit card for Jisung who happily snatched it. “Make sure she gets something nice. Our girl seems to have a problem with spending my money.” He winked at you as you passed.

“Oh you know I have no problem spending daddy's money.” The beta cackled.

“Wait for me!” Felix called, scooping his own items and following you out.

“Bye baby!” Changbin yelled, crumbs flying out of his mouth.

“Have a good time, omega.”

“Bye Channie bye Binnie!” You called as you were going out the door.

To say Eun was happy to see you again was an understatement. The second you walked into her shop she had a tight grip on you, hugging the life outta you. The older woman was unable to hold back tears at the sight of the bite mark on your neck, wailing about how happy she was for you and Chan and that the alpha couldn’t be luckier to have landed such a fantastic omega. You had reassured her you were in fact the lucky one.

It took another half an hour of chatting with her before she finally brought you out some swimsuits to try on. You had picked out a few modest one pieces for yourself but her and the boys suggested (demanded) you try on their picks first, an array of bikinis. You had never worn a bikini before so trying them on and modeling them was making you nervous.

You had chosen a basic white one to start. You figured you would start plain and work up to getting more comfortable. You thought it was cute but knew it wouldn't be the one. Thus began you trying a few different ones until you found one you liked. It had been almost 20 minutes since you had gone into the dressing room and the beta boys were getting antsy waiting for you to come out.

“Everything alright in there, baby?” The deep honey tones of Felix's voice called out to you.

“Y-yeah.” you stuttered, debating whether or not to come out. “I’ve never- never worn a bikini before and I’m a little nervous.” you admitted.

“If you’re really not comfortable you can try something else, we won’t be mad or disappointed.” He reassured you.

You felt better at his words, taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain and revealing yourself.

Both Jisung and Felix felt their eyes widen and hearts stop at the sight of you. You had decided on a little purple bikini with stars on it. It was so you. The swimsuit fits you like a glove and goes perfectly with your skin tone.

They both had been too busy admiring you to say anything and in turn their silence made you self conscious. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms and going to shuffle back into the fitting room.

“NO!” they yelled in unison looking at you in panic now. Felix tried to compose himself but Jisung did not, falling to the floor at your feet.

“I’m sorry baby! You look so, so good we couldn’t help but stare!” He pleaded, his heart thumping wildly.

Felix nodded in agreement, now more embarrassed than anything at his fellow betas' antics.

“ Please don’t turn away from us. We didn’t mean to make you feel any negativity. We love the suit. It fits you so well!”

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You asked skeptically, still covering yourself.

“Baby, my baby, omega, believe me when I say this, if you don’t get that swimsuit I will literally drop dead.” Jisung was so serious from his place on the floor, not one hint of deception on his face. “I simply cannot go on living any longer knowing I will never again get to see your beauty in this bikini - which was made for you by the way- and soon I'll die. In fact even hearing you say it was a bad idea almost killed me on the spot.”

“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic!” Eun called out walking up to the three of you. “But you do look fantastic in that one, Y/n. It would be a real crime if you didn’t get it.” She winked.

It seemed all three betas were rooting for this one so it seemed your fate was sealed.

“I-if you’re all sure…” You trailed off, letting your arms fall to your sides now.

“Never been more sure about anything, sweetheart.” Felix gave you his charming smile.

You hummed, “Fine. I’ll get this one.” There was a round of cheers then Eun went to ring you up, adding a few more pieces she thought would suit you.

Felixs’ big errand was buying blue hair dye. Apparently he used to have blue hair but it's been a while and he’s ready to feel like himself again. He was too precious. You wondered if Chan would be ok with you dying your hair, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask. Jisung tried to convince you to get some purple dye anyway and not tell him but you were too chicken shit to do something like that.

“Do you wanna help me dye mine, baby? I would love your company.” Felix asked you, crinkling his eyes at you.

Pulling back up to the house you found Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin outside putting some large camping items in the back of a truck. By the looks of it they had already loaded a grill and a few tents. Minho sure didn’t waste time. “There you are, now you can help too.” He eyed the younger boys.

“Actually y/n and I have a few things to do.” Felix grabbed your hand as you got out of the car, his other hand holding your bags. “Sungie would love to help you tho, i'm sure.”

“What?! Traitor!” Jisung complained but was quick to change his tune when Min gave him the evil eye. “I mean, yay packing.”

“We all have to do our part. You included.” Jeongin snickered, handing the beta a bag to put in the car. “At least you didn’t have to make a store run like Hyun and Bin hyung.”

“This was your idea! You should be doing all the work!”

Felix pulled you along into the house, quickly to go undetected “come on before they rope us into helping.” he whispered.

Both of you went up the stairs into Felix's bathroom after you dropped your bags off in your room. Passing Chan's office you could faintly hear the alpha in there on the phone, probably talking with a client. The fact that he works so hard so his pack could have the life they live was astounding. Chan really was a great alpha.

Entering the bathroom Felix reached under the sink for plastic gloves for you to use, and set up the dye. You had helped your old best friend dye her hair a few times so the process was familiar to you. Thankfully his hair was already bleach blonde so you didn’t have to worry about trying to bleach it.

You loved spending time with Felix. Really you loved any one on one time with the boys but you and Felix hadn’t spent time like this since your first day. That felt like so long ago when in reality had only been over a week. They say time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones.

You were discussing what you wanted to plant in the greenhouse when you came back from camping. Cucumbers, pumpkins and peppers were at the top of your list, while Felix requested some carrots and spinach if you could find the room. In only a few hours you had finished dying his hair and had just helped him wash out the dye. He had chosen a beautiful blue for his hair. It seemed to compliment him perfectly. Now it seemed like he was representing who he truly was, with his hair being a clear sky and he himself was the sun.

“You’re all finished! It looks so good on you Lix!” You were enthused, pleased with the finished product.

“All thanks to you baby.” He pulled a blow dryer from under the sink and plugged it in. “Now I'm gonna dry it. Do you wanna help me style it?” Felix really just wanted to be around you more, he wanted to be selfish if only for a while.

“Sure Lixie.” you beamed, reaching for the dryer. You were sitting on the bathroom counter while Felix stood directly in front of you. You turned it on a low setting and grabbed a brush in your other hand, he leaned closer to you and came to stand between your legs.

You began to dry and style his hair, neither of you saying anything now but it not being uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Being close with him reminded you of the kiss he shared with you last night. Not you nor he had brought up the kiss, and he also hadn’t kissed you since. ‘Maybe he regretted kissing me’ the thought weighed heavy on your mind.

Little did you know it was the exact opposite. The only thing on Felix's mind right now was kissing you. He was just worried you hadn’t liked it since you didn’t say anything about it, but you also weren’t acting any different. He was so close to you he could almost taste you, remembering the way your lips did even for that brief moment.

You finished with his hair and set down the tools on the countertop beside you. You were still facing him, afraid to break the silence or to move from your place in front of him. All you could do was focus on each other.

Slowly and timidly, Felix leaned closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face and his scent get even stronger, and Felix gingerly let his lips find yours. Your eyes closed on instinct as you pressed yours to his in return.

‘Finally’ your inner voice said.

When Felix felt you reciprocate his kiss he let out a small whimper, you wouldn’t have even heard it if you weren’t so close to him. His hands fell to your waist and he shuffled even closer to you when you parted your legs further to allow him to make the connection between you. Your own hands were on his shoulders.

The beta didn’t go any further and settled for what you were giving him. He wanted to go at your pace, afraid he would do something to scare you off. While you did enjoy his kiss it suddenly was not enough for you so you took the initiative to gently run your tongue along his lip. When he felt your tongue he whimpered again this time a little louder. His sounds were doing something to you and without thinking you rolled your hips against his.

When your pelvis made contact with his it’s like the damn broke for him and he let the niceties fall. Felix started to ravage your mouth now with his own tongue, his hands gripping you tighter and his own hips doing a roll. Your breath caught in your throat as a quiet moan escaped your lungs.

He held you like that for a while, you both basically dry humping on the counter and tasting each other's mouths. Eventually it was becoming too much for the beta, he knew he would cum in his pants soon and he did not want to do that in front of you. He pulled back from your lips , only a few inches apart.

“Do you want to go further with me, baby?” He prayed you said yes. You had him so worked up he didn’t think jerking off would suffice anymore.

“Please, Lixie. Wanna feel you.”

Fuck

That was all he needed to lift you from the counter onto your feet, then he grabbed the bottom of your tank top and pulled it off of you. He groaned at the sight of your lace bra. You made grabby hands at his own shirt and pulled it over his head.

Felix was so defined. He was so tiny the thought had never even crossed your mind that he could also be ripped. You didn’t have much time to stare before he was turning you around to face the mirror with his hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. “Can I take you like this, Baby? Let me see all of you?” He let a hand creep up your back to the clasp on your bra, but not yet taking it off.

You nodded, and answered “Uh huh. Yes lixie.” You were so ready for him. Honestly you had been wet since before you styled his hair. You would be surprised if Felix somehow didn't notice the sickly sweet pheromones that were draining out of you.

Felix unclasped your bra with nimble fingers and let it fall away from you. “Oh my god you're so beautiful.” He groaned out when he saw your bare chest. That same hand came to the front of your body and found your right breast, his thumb coming up to rub over your nipple. Now it was your turn to moan out, leaning closer to his chest. “Put your hands on the counter in front of you, baby.”

You did so without complaint and put your palms flat on the surface. He fondled your chest for a few minutes, taking in all the little sighs and moans you would let out as he watched your expressions in the mirror, finding it addicting. When you pushed your ass back into his crotch he let out an almost silent growl, nipping into the skin on your neck that he had been kissing. Suddenly he released you and went to the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs with no warning taking your underwear with them.

Felix didn’t know what was overtaking him but he didn’t mind it. He was never this assertive when having sex but something about you made him want to take control. Whether it was your omega status or just your submissive nature in general he couldn’t be sure. Probably a combination of both. You certainly were not complaining, liking this sudden dominant side of the man.

The beta pulled down his own pants and underwear next, eager to have the constricting material off. There you both were, naked and breathing heavy in anticipation. Your eyes were locked in the mirror as Felix reached under both of you and his fingers found your bundle of nerves. You gasped when he touched the sensitive area, eyes closing only for a second. He could feel just how drenched you were for him.

It was at this point that Felix realized he did not have a condom in here.’ Are you fucking kidding me?’ he momentarily chastises himself. “Ummm baby?” you hummed in response, waiting in anticipation. “I sorta don’t have a condom…”

“Oh.” you froze. “Th-then we can, umm, maybe we should stop.”

“Do you want to stop?” He desperately did not want to, he literally didn’t know if he could at this point.

“N-no but Chan and the doctor said-”

“But I can pull out.” He eagerly proposed, he had never been a rule breaker but right now he really did not give a shit. Consequences be damned. “Come on omega, it’ll feel so good.”

“I don’t know, lix…” You trailed off, unsure. "Channie wouldn't like it.." You didn’t want to disobey but one look at his pleading face behind you and you gave in. “If you promise to pull out…”

“I promise,” he said immediately. You nodded hesitantly giving him the go ahead as you readied yourself against the counter once more. "God, you are so hot."

The beta placed a kiss to your neck before taking his member in his hand and lining up with your entrance. He hadn’t prepped you like he should have but honestly when you were both that desperate that was the farthest thing from his mind. He let the tip run through your slick that had accumulated to make it an easier entry. Felix slowly pushed into you from behind, the stretch of him leaving a slight burn and you lightly hissed at the intrusion.

Felix on the other hand was in heaven. He had never felt so incredible from one push but fuck you were so tight. “Fuck omega, your pussy is so tight, nnggg oh my god I don’t know how I'll be able to move, fuck baby.” Felix couldn’t shut up as he filled you. His words were helping you though, as he stopped moving to let you adjust while he mumbled.

Between his jumbled (what you assumed were) praising words he laid sloppy kisses to your bare shoulders, his saliva leaving wetness along your skin. You were absolutely reeling; between feeling him within you and his total personality flip that left you with whiplash, your brain was turning into a muddled mess. It got even worse when he started rutting into you from behind, his hips grinding harshly against your ass.

His chest pushed you further into the counter and with the new angle his cock hit something deep inside you. Your back arched as you moaned aloud, your head falling forward in your ecstasy.

“F-fuuckk baby, you are so good f’ me. So so good, oh my god.” his deep voice was getting raspier by the second. Felix reached his hand around, his small fingers finding your clit again and rubbing sloppy circles. His other hand went to your breast and massaged your sensitive skin. “Look at me, baby, please look at me.”

You mustered all your willpower to bring your head up as much as you could, looking through your wet lashes to his gaze in the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, his eyes glossed over as he drooled on you. At the sight of him, fucked out because of you, you felt your orgasm approaching and approaching fast. “F-felix ‘m gonna- gonna cum.”

“Please cum for me. I need you to cum for me.” He sped up his thrusts, humping into you desperately. He was close to. The pulsing of his dick within you sent you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry of his name.

The squeezing of your heat on his member was enough for him. The beta knew he wouldn’t be able to pull out in time but he still tried, cumming half inside and the rest on your ass. The second he came his urges took over completely and without a warning, his teeth embedded themselves in your shoulder blade. When his teeth made contact in your skin you moaned as another orgasm washed over you.

You both were panting hard, you with tears cascading down your cheeks and Felix with your blood on his lips. It took you a moment to catch both of your breaths, the severity of what had happened finally registering in both of your minds.

“Felix…”

“Yeah”

“You came in me.”

“Yeah”

“Do you think Chan will be mad?”

“Yep”

“Oh. Did you mean to bite me?”

“Um, n-no.” He stammered, “ It had been on my mind since a few days ago when Chan said we could.”

‘Chan had said that?’

“But I didn't really expect to.” He grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the dripping mess he made on your skin. “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I'm kinda in love with you.” he chuckled nervously.

You spun around at his confession, not really shocked. You were able to feel his emotions when he bit down on you. It wasn’t as intense as when Chan bit into you - given he is an alpha and he bit your mating gland - but you could still sense the betas to an extent. “Felix…” you let more salty tears trail down your face. “I…I kinda love you too.”

Now he was crying, unable to contain his emotions and he fell into your embrace. Both of you were just little crybabies. Maybe that is why you got on so well together. It was easy to be vulnerable with him.

It was easy with Felix. So you both just hugged, and whispered to each other there in the bathroom. Both dreading the storm that was your alpha.

Sometime later after you had both redressed and Felix cleaned the wound on your shoulder, you both exited the bathroom. You shared a final kiss before parting ways. Felix going down the stairs and you going into Chan's office. The guilt was going to eat you alive if you didn’t tell him (assuming he couldn’t smell it on you when you came in).

You heard more faint talking so you knocked and waited. You heard him thank whoever he was talking to and hang up. “Come on in, baby.” He called out to you. You opened his door slowly and saw him sitting at his desk. His nostrils flared when you entered his office.

Chan obviously knew what you were doing with Felix, but he didn’t know the dirty secret you were keeping. Upon your entry into his office you were emitting a scent you hadn’t produced in a few days; intense guilt.

“What’s wrong, omega?” He immediately questioned you, reaching his hands out for you. When he noticed your hesitancy to grab his hand he stood from his seat and rested his hands on your shoulders, bending to be eye level with you. “Did something happen? Did Felix do something to you?”

“No!” you answered quickly. “I mean, not really.”

“Then what's wrong? You can't keep secrets from me, I can smell it on you.”

You looked down to the floor shamefully before giving him an answer. “When Felix and I were..intimate, he sorta.. He didn’t wear anything… and he umm he kinda came in me a little bit..” Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you saw the hardened look in the alphas face, his eyes darkening at your admittance.

“Is that so?” He seemed eerily calm, if you knew anything about alphas it’s that they are prone to rage so the fact that he didn’t immediately lash out was kind of scary to you. Little did you know he was furious.

“I’m really sorry, Channie. I-i know i wasn’t supposed to but-”

“Go to our room.” He interrupted you, removing his hands from you.

“W-what?”

He let out a low growl, “Go. to. Our. room. Omega, now.”

You gave him a look of alarm at his menacing tone, but still scurried out of his office and to his room. You shut the door softly and then sat on the bed, awaiting your fate. You hadn’t seen Chan angry yet, you didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t strike you as the type to scream and throw things like your father had been, but to be fair you had only known him for just over a week.

After about ten minutes Chan walked through the door into the space you occupied. He still had that intimidating demeanor but he seemed to be keeping his cool. He skipped the formalities as he spoke to you though, “ Take off your clothes and get in the shower.”

You stood from your seated position and started to strip, gently placing your clothes down in the hamper before slowly making your way to the bathroom. The whole time he just watched you as if you were a prey animal, and he was the big bad wolf.

Once you turned on the water to his shower it only took a moment for it to get hot and you entered the shower. It was a spacious area, with sliding glass and a shower head that rained down from the ceiling. Any other time you would have found solace in the luxurious bathroom, but right now all you felt was anxious.

Chan didn’t say anything as he slipped into the shower with you a few moments later. In fact he hadn’t said anything at all as he helped you wash your hair, he only shushed you when you went to speak. It wasn’t until he grabbed a loofa and began rubbing down your body from behind with it that he spoke. “ This is a nice bite mark here on your shoulder. Did Felix do that to you?” You went to nod in response but that wasn’t what the alpha was looking for, and he used one hand to reach onto the base of your head and gripped your hair tightly, causing you to let out a squeak. “I asked you a question, omega, and I expect an answer.”

“Yes, yes Alpha he did.” You gasped out, falling quickly into an uncharted subspace. Your inner omega only wanted to please your alpha now. His actions and words were shocking to you, he wasn’t being the Chan you knew him to be. You had seen small glimpses here and there but never to this extent.

“Did he bite you while he was cumming inside of you?” His grip on your hair tightened in one hand while his other brought the loofa down between your legs.

“Yes alpha.” You tilted your head back trying to get some slack but it proved pointless.

“Do you remember the conversation we had with the doctor yesterday, omega?” He knew you did, or else you wouldn’t have come to him so guiltily.

“Yes I re-remember” You stuttered, your insides fluttering with both excitement and anxiety.

“What did he say to us about when having sex?” His lips were kissing your injured skin on your shoulder where your new bite mark resided.

“To-to use protection until my results come in and I can go on-on birth control.” your panting was getting stronger as you tried to forget about the pain on your scalp.

“Mm that is right, baby.” chans tongue dug into your injured skin, causing you to let out a quiet cry. “Ya know what the rule was and still deliberately did otherwise. What am I going to do with you?” It was a rhetorical question meant to tease you. You started to cry at his words.

“ m’ so sorry Alpha. Please don’t be angry. M’ sorry.” He leaned over to lick up the salty tears that were coming down steadily now.

“Oh baby, I know you're sorry. Alpha knows.” you perked up slightly but it all came crashing down when he said his next words, “But just because you're sorry doesn’t mean there are no consequences.”

He dropped the sponge to the ground and that hand grabbed both of your wrists holding them together behind your back and pushing you against the cold tile, your chest smushing against the wall. “Ahh Chan!”

“Spread your legs. Let me in there, omega.” you did as he said, and he wasted no time in rubbing the tip of his cock along your sensitive folds. “Funny enough, I had just talked to the doctor on the phone before you came into my office, stinking like guilt and cum.” The alpha pressed you harder against the tile. “And it turns out you wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant right now, those suppressants are running crazy all over your body and hormones.”

Without warning he pushed into your heat, your sore walls engulfing him completely. He was so big. Even though you had been prepped by Felix so recently, taking the alpha was a whole other ball game. The only time he had really fucked you was on your heat, where your body was ready to accommodate his length.

“R-really?” you asked in a moan, both in pleasure and pain.

“Uh huh. How lucky is that?” He started at a brutal pace, the skin of his pelvis slapping against your ass noisily. “Still doesn’t excuse your actions. The both of you have to make it up somehow.”

“Please, m’ sorry.” you pleaded between moans and squeaks. His cock always filled you so well.

“This bite mark he left you sure is deep. You know Felix would only bite someone he loves.” Your heart fluttered at his remark, and it seemed your pussy did too. “Fuck so tight. Did you know that, omega? Your pussy tightened on me so you must know. Felix loves you, and now I'm sure you love him too huh?”

“Yes alpha!” you cried louder as his wet heaving chest was pressed against your back.

“Maybe that should be your punishment. Yeah that's it, since both of you want to disobey me then that's the consequence.’ your eyes widened, having an inkling of what he would say next.

“You aren’t allowed to touch him, at all, until I say so. No kissing, no fucking, no so much as brushing fucking fingers with him until I've deemed it acceptable. Fuck maybe I won’t even let him speak to you from now on.”

“Alpha no!” You tried to protest but he only sped up his thrusts, making you only be able to moan and cry. Fuck he was fucking you so good. Better than anything you have ever felt. He had you so deep in space you could barely focus on anything than that thin line between pain and pleasure.

“Too fucking late. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me, omega? Damn, I'm gonna cum. He won’t so much as breathe in your direction until I say so.” The alpha let go of your hair and you sucked in a large breath at the release. He opted for gripping your hips roughly, his fingers surely to leave bruises.

Your arms were free now so with one hand you braced yourself against the cold surface, the other was reaching behind you to grab at your mate, craving even an ounce of comfort as you were nearing your high. You made contact with the skin on his waist and dug your fingers into him.

When you grabbed him the alpha let go and released inside of you with a loud growl, the copious amount overflowing against his length. His knot inflated within you, locking you into place with him. His growl set something inside of you aflame and without warning you came too, a loud wail leaving your lips and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You wretch your head to the side bearing your neck for your alpha, giving him your complete submission. He almost took the opportunity to reclaim you, but knew you had enough biting for one day.

Chan stilled his hips, breathing heavy in your ears as he let you come down. He watched the cum fall down from where you were joined and be washed away with the water. After a moment when his knot had deflated, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing the back of your neck and whispering praises. He knew it would be a long night of aftercare.

A/n: True colors are starting to come out a lil more, not everything is all sunshine and rainbows

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii

©doitforbangchan

Taglist - closed

@chxnb97 / @butterflydemons / @zaggprincess2 / @stellasays45 / @uhhheather / @walnutspie / @a-mistake-tbh / @meowmeeps / @realrintaro / @ihrtlix / @raehawthorne / @juskz / @freckleboilix / @marvelsmarauder / @0325tiny / @iyeeeverydee / @stars-garden / @boi-bi-ahaha / @gini143 / @queenmea604 / @palindrome969 / @f9clementine / @theysaidhush / @kpophosblog / @usercaiskz / @honeym0chi / @nobody3210 / @changbinswife10789 @5starluvr / @neyangi / @jiminssluttyminx / @ayejaii / @iknowleeknow / @jeonginnieswifey / @catlove83 / @upsidedownchaire / @emmxxsworld / @manuosorioh / @igetcarriedawaywithyou / @blondechannie / @woozixo / @ilovejeongin007/ @yaorzu-blog / @theydy-madamonsieur / @jehhskz / @feybin / @rylea08 / @sebastianswhore13 / @kihyuns-military-wife / @luvyev / @xx3rachaslutxx / @hahhahahjakakla / @skzstaykatsy / @zerefdragn33l

519 notes · View notes

heavenblvd · 2 months

Text

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒.

pairings — fem!reader and rafe cameron.

summary — after rafe takes your life, he tries to move on, and simply pretends he’s the one who didn’t do so. eventually, hauntings and truths will lay themselves out to remind rafe just how sickening he is.

warning tags — adult language. details of gruesome m*rder & m*rder itself. mentions of DV relationship, (brief) child ab*se & awful parents. talks of religion and god. reader’s pov from heaven (?? just stick w the program). rafe actually going more insane than usual. overall dark content.

author’s note — this is based on and inspired by ethel cain’s song ‘strangers’ and while this song has multiple interpretations to go by, i’m taking mine by the main and common one (just without the c*nnibalism!). this also gets super dark and depressing so if you cannot bear any of it, please click off! this also isn’t revised at all so my apologies for grammar mistakes.

likes, shares & reblogs are very much appreciated ⋆୨୧ ₊ﾟ

you had tears in your eyes, body shaking to point you thought you’d convulse. you tried to be obedient by keeping in rafe’s secret of what he had done on that tarmac. he beat you to make sure you kept your mouth shut for good.

he said, “i’ll kill you if you say one word,” and it took enough fear to believe him, but you didn’t think that day would come.

murder is an evil thing, and everyone can attest to it. rafe murdered sheriff peterkin as if she was nothing, as if she was a problem in the way. bad enough, he let john b. routledge — one of your best friends — take the fall for it.

you continued to keep your mouth shut, but after rafe tried to invade the police, ward killing himself, you didn’t see a reason to keep quiet. ward was the only reason why rafe could stay out of prison, and now that he wasn’t around, you could speak.

your father preached every sunday to live by righteousness and good, to never let evil win.

rafe was that evil. he was the devil himself.

the devil that you danced with, let make love to you, kiss you, but also beat you until stars twinkled in your vision, and your breath kept getting caught in your throat.

your mother would be horrified to know that, your father too. but it was their fault in a way that you accepted this cruelty as love; your father, especially to blame.

if love is not meant to be hit at you, does it even exist? your father showed you that when he’d slap or punch you for falling out of line, but go to church the next day, and preach about being a good servant to god.

you wanted all evil out of your life. it was suffocating, it was drowning you.

rafe had to be eliminated first.

“you killed peterkin, and i’m tired of knowing it,” you said, picking up your car keys. “we are done, and i won’t even show up to your trial when you go down for it.”

rafe just stared at you appalled and puzzled, sitting on the edge of his bed. you were close to being far out enough to your car until strong, violent hand seized you.

you screamed and kicked, not being new to this routine, only knowing that he was going to harm you.

you could never predict that his violence would lead him to murdering you.

“let me go, rafe!” you screamed, being pulled inside, your pleas and cries echoing in the empty home.

expecting to be physically berated, you were being led downwards.

to the wine cellar basement.

and for once in a while, you prayed to god, and hoped he would finally listen to you this time. that he would save his child, and perform a miracle.

but a miracle never came as rafe manhandled you, pinning you down on the cement ground of the basement.

“shut the fuck up! stop crying!” he yelled, a solid punch coming to your cheek, and you yelped, an easy gush of blood rushing out of your mouth. “you’re a fuckin’ backstabber. after everything i’ve done for you, gonna treat me like that?”

you cried, shaking your head. “r—rafe, please! i’ll be good, i’ll stop!”

“don’t trust you, little one. can’t let you ruin everything,” rafe said, reaching for something out of his back pocket.

the more you fought back, the more angry he got; the more you fueled the fire that rested in his hands and body.

before you could let out another plead, a sharp pain was made into your abdomen.

rafe stabbed you — and he wasn’t planning on stopping there.

god wasn’t there. you would show up to his gates in this condition, and ask him why he let it happen. if god is real, why did he bear witness instead of saving you?

rafe doesn’t recall killing you.

he remembers grabbing, and dragging you down into wine cellar basement, but couldn’t be able to tell anyone what happened after that. all he knows your blood was quite literally on his hand, knife shaking in his grip.

your babydoll white dress was now stained with violence and scarlet red blood.

the sight should’ve made him sick, but it didn’t. he just stared at you, breathing heavy, and it didn’t strike him until a while later that he had killed you.

rafe cameron had killed the love of his life.

he only panicked when it came to how to dispose your body, take off any evidence that could trace back to him. he was more than willing to dump your body in the woods, let any gators eat at you for supper.

he tossed your body only hours later in the depths of the woods, and it didn’t take long until you were reported missing.

of course, he was questioned first. it was easy for him to play the concerned boyfriend, crying because he also hadn’t heard from you, saying he had been texting and calling you for hours.

your parents sobbed on the news and asking anyone to come forward with any information, that they’ll give up however much money for their child to come home.

rafe just stared numbly at the television screen, a cup of scotch in his hand.

your best friends, the pogues, sobbed for days, and even started a search party for you. rafe made sure to dig you levels down in those woods when the ground was wet enough to dig up, and cover you up.

sarah cameron had a feeling her brother had something to do with your ‘disappearance’ but it was only just a gut intuition, she couldn’t prove it. she always questioned why you got with her brother, always emphasizing how horrible and violent he was, but you would tell her, “you don’t know him like i do; you don’t know how much he loves me, and takes care of me.”

kiara knew how bad rafe was — for god sake, she momentarily went to the academy around the same time he was a senior. she knew he wasn’t destined to be a boyfriend, let alone even in a fucking relationship.

the boys of the group were beyond furious, the three wanting to round up and take ahold of rafe, beat some information out of him. but they knew you wouldn’t want that, and that rafe would easily get the police to arrest them.

however, months passed, and you slowly became a memory to not only the town, but to rafe himself. he went on with his days like nothing occurred, that he didn’t violently take the life of his girlfriend.

you weren’t on his mind anymore, and he didn’t have to worry about you anymore.

or so he thought.

karma and revenge go hand in hand together; they mingle and burst out, they make sure they arrive at the doorstep of the people who deserve it.

rafe always thought getting rid of you would avoid his downfall, but the murder of you was just the beginning of it all.

he slept peacefully like he had done for a while now, with him about to drown into a deep sleep. he rested with his hands laid atop of his stomach, comfortable and at solitude, a female whisper woke him up.

he peeked around, but saw no one. he assumed he was just sleep deprived and imagining things, his eyes closing again for sleep.

“do you feel sick yet?” the voice that sounded like yours came through, more clearer and visible. he shot up, and turned on his bedside lamp.

nothing. no one. not you.

why would he have to feel sick? you were gone, you were no longer a problem.

rafe shook it off, and was able to go back to sleep.

you were angry in the afterlife. you stared at rafe from heaven, trembling with rage and regret. a man you once loved, had acted as if you never existed. you adored him, and he disposed you like garbage.

you just wanted to be his, wanted him to tell you that you were his only; that he loved you as much as you did to him, that he would change and better himself for you.

that the violence would dissipate, and his rough hands would be nurtured with love and softness.

but no. that never came, and never would.

you were taunted by your murder, burning with the need to remind rafe of how sick he was.

your violent lover let you bleed before him, and without tending to your wounds or simply sitting with immediate regret, he soaked in his actions and dismissed it.

why couldn’t he be gentle? was him painting you blue and purple not enough? did he have to go as far as killing his lover to satisfy the disdain and vexation he held for you?

was that enough? was that enough to make you enough?

rafe’s nights slowly turned interrupted and sleepless. your voice was always there, and time to time, he thought he saw you standing in his bedroom, drenched in blood and with tears streaming down your face as you kept asking him, “do you feel sick yet?”

sick. not regretful. fucking sick.

sleep deprivation was catching up to him, making him more mean and angry than usual, more out of control.

the coke wasn’t even helping either, only making everything worse.

he was at barry’s trailer, snorting endless lines of the white powder, trying to shake off the sight of you from last night.

“country club, you good?” barry asked, and rafe didn’t respond. “you don’t seem well, bro.”

“just need this shit, okay?” rafe mumbled, separating another drop of cocaine. “just… just want to sleep, need it.”

barry didn’t want to push him with more questions, minding his own business as the blond haired boy snorted up excessive amounts of lines.

rafe ended falling asleep on his couch, barry mindlessly scrolling on his own phone as he laid down on his bed.

the cold air from the air conditioner ran around in the basement, making it more freezing and chilling than usual.

rafe could smell strawberry perfume, indicating you were around. he looked around, and saw nothing of you.

“where are you!” he screamed. “you can’t scare me, you bitch!”

“i’m not here to scare you,” you talked, rafe spinning around to find you perched in the corner of the basement. you careened closer, the dim light emphasizing on your mangled body.

rafe stared at your stomach, where immense stab wounds laid on it. he swallowed thickly, his breath shaking and jagged.

“do you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe looked up at you. he couldn’t move in this dream, he was paralyzed and a witness to your lacerated body.

nausea and despair washed over rafe, almost consuming him entirely.

you were finally face to face with him, your hair disheveled and bunched, face stained with tears and runny makeup, all for him to look at.

rafe could feel your physical touch, your soft hand grabbing his, and made his palm touch your abdomen. he almost fucking threw up.

you could see it, you could see he was wanting to vomit everywhere. “am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe shivered, forcing his hand to put more pressure on your stomach, blood rushing out onto it. “am i making you feel sick?”

rafe screamed and lurched up, his eyes opening and alarming barry. “woah, what the fuck, rafe!” barry shouted, and rafe breathed rapidly, his heart thumping against his chest, a need to vomit.

rafe brought his face into his hands, trying to shake everything out of his hand.

your face, your touch, your blood — he felt it all. he was being reminded of you, when he didn’t want to.

barry kept asking him what was wrong, why he was crying, if he was okay, but all rafe could focus on was your voice asking, “am i making you feel sick?”

he was no longer immune to his destruction. he was becoming infected by it. you were a disease that he couldn’t treat, a parasite that ate at his brain.

he would never get rid of you — and you would make sure that he never did.

it was month seven without you, and you became a faded name to the outer banks. the only people who lived on to tell your name was your parents, and your best friends. the pogues carved your name into the chateau’s tree, a ceremonial bench placed at the high school.

your body or you weren’t ever discovered, but the police had listed you as deceased. you weren’t a runaway, you were eighteen, and had nothing to runaway for. when you couldn’t be traced anywhere on the grid, the police pronounced you dead, and that was that.

pictures of you and any sort of evidence remained in a cardboard box somewhere in the police station. you were left to rot in every way.

you were tired of being forgotten, but more exhausted that nobody knew that your boyfriend did this, and you probably weren’t going to be the first girl he killed.

rafe cameron needed to know what he did, and you wanted to do everything you could to make him drag himself to the police station, sit down, and say, “i killed her — and i enjoyed every fucking second of it.”

madness was becoming rafe. he was already an insane, depraved fuck before, but the lack of sleep and memories of the murder were catching up to him for good.

dark circles were around his eyes, hair greasy and messy, his body tired. he felt like he was going to snap any second.

he kept drinking, smoking weed and doing coke back to back, surprised that his heart didn’t give out yet.

a random exhaustion toll pushed over him, laying him down on the floor of his bedroom, and his eyes threatened to snap shut.

he didn’t want to sleep, he was afraid to. he was afraid to see you, with your bloody dress and sad face, making him touch your wounds.

rafe didn’t win the fight of sleeping, and he knocked out cold on his bedroom floor.

he wasn’t in the basement, he was in his bedroom, and he could hear your feet padding away to the front of the house, to your car.

oh, he was reliving the night. and he couldn’t stop. he couldn’t get out of the memory — he was facing everything.

he saw you bloody by his doorframe, and you tilted your head. “why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice sounding as if he was trapped in a void.

you only frowned. “so you know.”

like a reflex, rafe hurriedly rushed over to you outside before you could get away, seizing you away, and taking you to the basement.

he pinned you down to the ground, and screamed at you to stop crying, upset and angry you were willing to betray him when he did everything for you.

you were sobbing, but it became echoes and his ears rang, everything around him becoming silent except his own heavy breathing. he grabbed the knife that sat in his pocket, and he could see your eyes widen with fear to the sight of the object.

“rafe!” you screamed in the first stab. he hit you sharp and right in the abdomen.

he held his knife there for a second, like time was freezing him, and he felt a hot breath at the side of his face.

it was you.

“am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe proceeded to stab you as you sobbed. you cried out his name, trying to fight away the knife, promising to be good and for him to stop.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

rafe couldn’t stop, he couldn’t control himself. he kept stabbing you as you screamed. he was a monster, with the inability to suppress his anger or violence.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

another stab.

“am i making you feel sick?”

a part you thought you were making him feel sick because of how mutilated your body was; that the body he was once desired, was now filling him with disgust. you wondered if how butchered you looked, was making him uncomfortable and sick. he didn’t deserve your concern, but it happened anyway. was it making him sick?

rafe wanted to cry, but couldn’t. he was revisiting the person he was in this moment, and could see life vanish from your eyes, death taking you away.

he took one last stab, and held it there like the first one. you kneeled in front of him, looking over at your corpse for a moment before your eyes settled into his raging ones.

he held prolonged eye contact with you as you inched your face close to his, but kept a safe distance. you placed your hand on top of his murdering one, and with a blank face, lastly asking him, “am i making you feel sick?”

rafe broke eye contact with you to look at your deceased body, and realized and remembered this murder. your organs could be nearly seen, blood gushed and poured out everywhere, your body cold and still.

he dropped the knife, and eyed you. “i’m sorry.”

you shook your head, and sighed. “you will revisit this everyday as long as you live,” you said, sniffling. “all i wanted was to be yours, and be good enough, rafe. was i no good?”

he didn’t have an answer, and with that, you got up, staring over at your body. “i want you to know,” you chuckled softly to yourself, “i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did. i forgive you, especially since i’m happier where i’m at.”

“heaven?” rafe asked.

you nodded. “you won’t make it here, but i’ll still hope and wait that you do — because i love you too much to let god be angry with you too.”

“he’s an angry man?”

“he’s angry and unfair,” you responded. “like someone i know. i loved god, i loved you; two men who didn’t view me as much, who don’t deserve for me to believe in them.”

rafe went quiet, and enough time went by for you to disappear for good to let rafe cry, and scream. he cried and sobbed, dry heaving as he vomited everywhere to the sight of you.

he killed you, and as long as he kept it to himself, you would drive him mad and insane with the knowing of it.

rafe cameron confessed to your murder only hours later. he drove himself to the police station, and confessed to every detail, telling sheriff shope where your body was.

they found your maimed body in the exact location where rafe told them it was, your body already decomposing into near bones, eaten by critters and bugs.

the earth was consuming you.

he was hated forever, the town wanted him torched or given the death penalty. it would be a while until he got a trial.

your funeral could be proper with your body in a casket, given a rightful way to be down in the ground, protected and secured by a box stuffed with silk fabric.

you could see your mom cry, and you wish she wouldn’t. your father had to give the prayer at your funeral, your best friends sobbing, and hating themselves for not getting you away from rafe sooner.

however, your death was simply inevitable. if rafe didn’t kill you, your love for him would. he was everything to you.

even when he was murdering you — getting a vile satisfaction from it — you were worried about him, if you and your maimed body was making him feel more nauseous and sick than the actual murder was.

rafe would live with the knowing that you truly loved him, and he took your life every single day that he spent in a prison block cell.

and your ghost would continue to linger and haunt him, never letting him know peace and serenity as he never did to you.

#rafe cameron #outer banks #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron outer banks #obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fluff #drew starkey obx #drew starkey one shot #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #drew starkey x reader #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron x female reader

550 notes · View notes

icanseethefuture333 · 1 year

Text

PAC: What makes you so sweet + who's sweet on you? 🍓🍰♥️

This spread was inspired by Strawberry shortcake :D! A childhood favorite of mine. You are allowed to choose one or more pile for each question! Use your intuition to decide 🥰 Please leave a tip if you can $$$

Pile 1:

Your songs -

I Don't Wanna by Aaliyah

Konclusions by YG & Kehlani

Crushcrushcrush by Coco & Clair Clair

Your dessert -

Pumpkin spice latte 🎃

What makes you so sweet?:

The Empress, Three of Pentacles (reversed), & Six of Pentacles

You are so loving and caring pile 1! 🥰 people could think that you have a "big heart" and wish they could give back all that you do for them. You could have venusian qualities or Libra/Taurus placements. You are a very selfless person and for that in exchange you just really desire friendship and loyalty! Your love language could be acts of service or gifts. You could also be very physically attractive 🤭 but you may not realize this??? You could be more self conscious about how you look and possibly put others on a pedestal for their appearance. You might question if you're actually pretty at times because people might not compliment you much but it's just really because you make them shy 🥺! In private, others could consider you their muse. People could like to draw you or write songs about you. It's giving girl next door energy. The way that you dress could be modest too. You could like to wear long sleeve shirts, sweaters, cardigans, flowy dresses, etc. Fall/autumn could be your favorite time of the year because it fits your taste in style! People could think that you give off a very warm and cozy aura. So comforting 💞

Who's sweet on you?:

Page of Swords, Ten of Swords, & Two of Swords

Lmao poor pile 1 😭 I feel bad so your secret admirer is someone who's ghosted you recently or who you just lost contact with. This person has attachment issues (avoidant I'm feeling?) Whenever they get close to love or start developing feelings for someone, they run away. They could be younger than you or they're just inexperienced when it comes to relationships. This person feels regret for ghosting you and wishes they could just reach out. They wish to tell you how they feel romantically but everytime they try to type out a text or get close to calling you, they chicken out. This person will eventually have to make a decision on if they should contact you or not but they're kind of stubborn 💀 good luck!

Pile 2:

Your songs -

Daisy 2.0 by Ashnikko & Miku Hatsune

Black eye by Vernon

Little Bit by Drake & Lykke Li

Your dessert -

Dark chocolate 🍫

What makes you so sweet?

The Devil (reversed), Ace of Cups, & The moon

Pile 2, you could be alternative??? Or just have a very intimidating/non-conventional beauty. Your style or overall appearance could be unique and that makes people weary to come near you. You possibly have a resting bitch face or you have "hunter eyes" (feline, snake, etc). Your features could go against European beauty standards as well. Contrary to what people think, you are actually so compassionate and sensitive. You could be secretly a hopeless romantic and be into romance novels, films, etc. I'm getting that you like to read or are into reading mangas. You could also like to watch anime or do cosplaying. Your geekiness is adorable 🤓! People like to hear about your interests and want to get to know you more if you feel comfortable. I see that you could have wounds from the past or currently are dealing with depression :( I'm sorry to hear that ❤️‍🩹! Just know that you aren't alone and you have people who care about you (including me!) Your guides want to tell you that you don't have to be so secretive dear. I'm getting that you possibly might have been bullied growing up? And they want you to understand that not everyone is going hurt you. People could think that you are beautiful in the nighttime or your beauty reminds them of the moon. Your skin could be luminescent and glowy when the light hits or your irises are big or have a unique color. You could possibly have Capricorn or Cancer placements. When you allow people to get close to you and gain trust, they appreciate it so much! Your talents, hobbies, and skills is what makes you so special 🥰 This could be only for a few people but some people here are musicians or should learn to play an instrument.

Who's sweet on you?

King of Cups, The Lovers, & Queen of Swords

This is good news for your love life :D! This person wants to come in with a offer and ask you either to be their partner or go out on a date. They are willing to court you and show how much you mean to them. You and this person could be very different than most couples. I'm getting that you guys could be a interracial couple, same sex couple, or just express yourselves differently when it comes to styles, aesthetics, and love languages. Don't be afraid to let this person in pile 2! They seem to really care for you and I can see once you fall in love with them, you're never gonna want to let them go ❤ What's cute about your dynamic is that this person is affectionate and outgoing while you're the more protective and reserved one LOL. I guess opposites do attract.

Pile 3:

Your songs -

While We're Young by Jhené Aiko

Child's Play by SZA & Chance The Rapper

Come by Doja Cat

Your dessert -

Lemon meringue pie 🥧

What makes you so sweet?

The Fool, Three of Wands, & Four of Wands

I feel like my pile 3 people are good singers 😳 if not, their voices are very soft and melodic 🤭 You love to listen to music a lot, for some of you I'm seeing that you like to listen to indie music or r&b. You're a very mellow person and radiate this down to earth energy. There is a lot of yellow on these cards as well so you could be connected to your solar plexus or that could be your favorite color/it suits your skintone. I'm seeing sunflowers 🌻 some of you might worship Oshun or should start doing research on her. You could be spiritual or religious. You have a carefree attitude because you know that the universe got you - period! You could be very knowledgeable on manifestation as well. People wonder what's your secret to life because you seem so lucky. I heard people even want to "rub you for good luck" 👀😂 you could like to dress in a bohemian or hippie style. You could wear like vegan leather backpacks, sandals, beads, feathers, rompers, and also dye your hair unnatural colors like blue, pink, etc. People could like that you're well traveled as well or you're knowledgeable about others cultures. You could speak more than one language. They like to hear about your travels or want to hear about your stories. I'm getting Leo, Sagittarius, or Virgo placements. You make friends where ever you go and it's very easy to talk to you 🌞! You radiate such a positive and divine energy. I just love that!

Who's sweet on you?:

The Emperor, Page of Wands, & King of Pentacles

This person could be older than you. They can be athletic but also act childish. They might have Aries traits or they have have it in their birth chart. They are creative, hard working, and . They take on traditional masculine qualities and would want to be a provider for their family. You could depend on this person and build able to form a secure and stable relationship. This could also signify that you and this person could get married in the future! Expect good news when it comes to your romantic endeavors.

Pile 4:

Your songs -

Favorite by HUNJIYA

Little Little by Red Velvet

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay Ft. Beyoncé

Your dessert -

Angel food cake 🎂

What makes you so sweet?

The Star, Strength, & Knight of Cups

Pile 4, you're giving me very much earth angel or starseed vibes 🌈🕊 something about you is very ethereal and angelic to people. They admire your elegance and healing energy. You could look good in the color white or pastel colors. You could have a nice physique as well 😋! Your hair could be very long with waves or curls. Some people fantasize about you naked because of how naturally beautiful you are 😅 It exudes something in them and your sex appeal is very arousing. I'm getting that you could also be nurturing and motherly, very wise. You could have Aquarius, Leo, or Pisces placements. People like your awareness on things and your acceptance of how people are instead of trying to change them. You could be very observant as well. You notice the little things in life and pay attention to the fine details that other don't. You have a keen eye for art or fashion. You could care for the environment and have a connection to animals or babies 🦋 You just embody a lot of divine feminine qualities and that makes people feel welcome and at ease around you.

Who's sweet on you?

Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, & Nine of Pentacles

For you pile 4, I see that you're actually sweet on yourself (period self love)! I feel like as for right now in your love life, you're not looking for a commitment or should be focusing on committing to yourself and your goals. You could be coming out of a relationship or have been single for quite some time - no worries! I'm seeing finacial abundance coming to your life and your personal endeavors. I see that you're mostly gonna keep your options open for now and see different people. I'm seeing a lot of good sex as well ❤️‍🔥 There's gonna be fun dates and partying happening in your life. (Clarified by Justice) this could be for a few but some of you might hear or will start dating a Libra. I'm not seeing anything too serious but I'm getting that they could help you further your career. They could be a sugar daddy/mommy, you know them from work (boss, supervisor, or coworker), or they could work as a counselor, legal advisor, lawyer, etc.

Pile 5:

Your songs -

20/20 by Lil Tjay

On My Own by Darci

Into It by Chase Atlantic

Your dessert -

Red wine truffle 🍷

What makes you so sweet?

Nine of Cups, The World, & Temperance

Your self assurance, patience, and drive for success is what makes you so sweet pile 5! I'm getting badass energy from you and you have a very nonchalant, idgaf, rebellious attitude. I feel that growing up those in authority underestimated you and you managed to prove or will prove them all wrong with your achievements. You could have trophies, good grades, or receive a lot of praise for your work at school or your job. You could possibly be an athlete or participated in some sort of competition (dancing, mathlete, etc). You're beauty and brains, pile 5, the total package! You could have Scorpio, Gemini, or Aries placements. People wonder how you did it or overcome such hardships. You're someone people can look up to. You motivate them and make them want to do better. You could be the older sibling in your family or could have cousins younger than you? I'm having a vision of little kids looking at you and they're just in awe, how cute 🥹! Your independence and self confidence is so admirable.

Who's sweet on you?

Four of Swords, Knight of Wands, & Eight of Wands

Pile 5, when it comes to romance it could make you nervous or give you anxiety. You may not have time for it or whenever you go out on dates you overthink about it. There's no need to be nervous! Just be yourself sweetheart 💕 I feel that you know this person as well or already currently seeing someone. They could be on your team or they are in some sort of team (at work, in sports, etc). They like to move things pretty fast. You both could hate the talking stage and just wish to skip to the part where the both of you are best friends in love! I'm getting like coming of age love story and it's adorable ☺️ This person could like your hair or compliments you a lot on your hair. They could like your tattoos or piercings. There is going to be a lot of passion early on in the relationship and they will be very infatuated by you. Just be careful not to rush into thing if you want more of a serious relationship! If not, I feel that this would be a fun fling.

Pile 6:

Your songs -

Jasmine by DPR Live

I Wanna Be Down by Brandy

Who Can I Run To by Xscape

Your dessert -

Galaxy raindrop cake 💧

What makes you sweet?:

Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, & Wheel of Fortune

Pile 6, I see that you're someone who's very generous with their wealth. Very similar to pile 1, you could be good with your finances, and have a lot of high quality material items. You're someone who takes value in the finer things and show gratitude for everything you have because there are those who are without. Whenever someone is struggling or is in need of help, you're always there! You're someone people can count in terms of an emergency. When people get asked about you they have fond memories of how much you been there for them (shit even me, I need more friends like you pile 6 😭). You're a down ass bitch! I feel that fortune is always on your side because of how selfless you are. Like pile 3, I feel that you could also know about manifestation, and use it to improve your life. You could do this without knowing. You could visualize yourself being rich or you affirm that you're lucky when it comes to money. I heard that your parents are very proud of you as well! You could really have an old soul pile 6. Your style could be more casual or reminiscent of the 80s/90s. I'm seeing mom jeans, crop tops, high top sneakers, jelly bracelets, henna tattoo chokers, gold chain, and mini hoop earrings.

Who's sweet on you?:

Six of Swords, The World, & Ace of Cups

Aw pile 6, so I see that a lot of people can depend on you but you don't have many people that you can turn to when you need help or need to take a load off 🥺 you could feel stressed because of this but don't worry someone will be coming in your love life soon! You could meet them overseas or while traveling. I'm getting military vibes so either you or this person will be in the military, if not the job requires traveling or dealing with foreign people/places. You and this person will have a harmonious relationship. So expect a new chapter and a good change in your love life!

Pile 7:

Your songs -

Generous by Doja Cat

No Silhouette by DPR Ian

Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey

Your dessert:

Cannoli 🥖

What makes you sweet?:

Pile 7, your style is reminding me of mirror palais, summers in spain/Italy/mexico, or "bible study" outfits. Your style could cater to your religious beliefs or it's reminiscent of a holy figure. I feel that you could also dress very preppy. I'm seeing crosses, rosaries, cloaks, scarves, concho belts, a necklace with some sort of significant pendant (crystals, cross, buddha, etc), slippers/flats, stockings, long skirts, headbands, and button up tops. You have a very innocent and holy appearance. Some of you could be very sophisticated as well (its giving "my name is Bella Hadid"). People could think you're so pure that they're afraid of tainting you (in a nsfw way 😭). You make people blush because of how attractive you are. You could have a babyface, look younger than your actual age, or you have a youthful personality. People consider you "God's favorite" because of how perfect you seem or think God took their time with making you. You could be into modeling or you look like a model. Your lips could be nice and plump. They have a alluring shape with a vibrant color (they could be cherry red or they have a nice pink in the center of them if your lips are two toned). I am reminded of Monica Belluci in the role Milena where she had ginger hair and all the men were so seduced by her without her even trying (the scene where they were lighting her cigarette) and Salma Hayek in Desperado (where she caused people to crash their cars because of how hot she was 😂). You exude this femme fatale energy and could be becoming more "grown woman/man/person fine". This could also mean if you're underage, you could have major glow up after you're finished with puberty. You could also pray or be very devoted to your faith and people find that admirable.

Who's sweet on you?:

Five of Cups, The High Priestess, & Knight of Pentacles

You've been disappointed a lot in when it comes to your love life. You feel as though no one can satisfy you. You could have had your heart broken in a previous relationship so therefore you decided to stay single. I do feel that someone wants to come in though to show their love for you and will back up their words with action taking. They could be intimidated by you but they won't let their self esteem get in the way. They're gonna be persistent until you give in. Although pile 7, I suggest you heal wounds from your past relationship as well, it could cause you to self sabotage in your dating life, and prevent you from ever moving on. You deserve to be loved and receiving the pleasures of being in a happy relationship. So make sure to give them a chance when they come along.

Pile 8:

Your songs -

Headlines by McClenney

10% by Kaytranada & Kali Uchis

Jungle by Drake

Your dessert -

Creme Brulé 🍮

What makes you so sweet?:

Five of Pentacles, Justice, & Ace of Swords

Wow pile 8, you are someone who is fair and fights for equality. You hate to see people being kicked down and mistreated so you would do anything in your power to make sure others are safe. You're honestly a hero. For some people in this pile, you guys could have been abandoned by your parents, or was a orphan so because of this would you do your best to make sure that doesn't happen to anyone around you. You could do community service or take time out of your day to do activities with the kids that come from low income families. That's so sweet and I'm sorry that you went through that 🥺. If not, you have had really greedy people in your life. Whether it's a family member or authority in the workplace, they take from you a lot. Whether financially or emotionally. You could use your knowledge from these past situations for activism or fighting legal battles. You could work as a social worker, activist, politics, human relations, or in the legal system. Also people appreciate you for your great advice! You are very logical but at the same time optimistic. You know how to balance your brain and your heart, which not many people can do. You are a very strong person, pile 8.

Who's sweet on you?:

Ten of Wands, The Chariot, & King of Cups

You and this person could have broken up? I feel that this an ex who is wanting a second chance with you or a friend of yours who wants to be more than friends. You could have rejected them and they feel burdened by this because they still have feelings for you. It made them retreat and hide but they are not going to give up on this connection. You could have broken up with them because or their lack of vulnerability. They could have been uncomfortable with talking about their feelings or avoided having serious conversations, it triggers them. They are going to come back with a open heart to tell you how much you mean to them. For some people in this pile, this person might even propose to you 😲 if not a proposal for marriage, they could just ask you again to be their partner.

Pile 9:

Your songs -

Don't Hurt Me by DJ Mustard, Nicki Minaj, & Jeremih

Come Into You by Jimmy Brown

I Like U by Niki

Your dessert -

Gingersnap cookies 🍪

What makes you so sweet?:

Six of Cups, Page of Pentacles, & Seven of Cups

Pile 9, you are so cute😆! I feel like out of all the piles you are the youngest either in age or maturity. You could be someone thats very bubbly, clumsy, and full of energy. You have a childlike charm and your expressions are very sweet. I'm getting like how when little kids ask a question and they tilt their head while they do it. You just have this innocence to you but I also feel that you can be very mischievous. You could like to tease your peers and people find it very funny 😂. You could be very smart as well and do/did well in school! I'm getting that you're a teacher's pet and you always get good grades. You could give your teacher a hard time sometimes too (some of you could have talked too much in class and that would stress your teacher out LOL 😭). This pile honestly has me cracking up. You could also have a very big imagination. You could daydream a lot or fantasize about things a lot. People often wonder what you're thinking about when you do that. You could also have a lot of goals or are very creative. This pile gives off main character energy. It reminds me of Devi from Never Have I Ever or Jess from New Girl.

Who's sweet on you?:

Four of Wands, The Lovers, & Ten of Pentacles

I see that there's two cases for this pile. On one side you guys have a crush on someone or the other side they have someone who has a crush on them but despite that I'm seeing that the feelings are mutual for both parties! You know this person already and could be in the talking stage. I'm getting like a light, fun, flirty, playful energy between you and this person. You guys might have even already go on out on a date or will make plans to go out on a date soon. Which is so cute because as things develop and get more serious you both will realize that you're in love with each other 🤭. I'm having a vision of a couple blushing and being nervous to make eye contact 😭💓. This is going to be a long term relationship for sure and your families will be happy to see you guys together. I'm seeing like your families getting together for the holidays or coming together for dinner. For my younger kids in pile 9, this could mean your parents will allow you to date them, and when they introduce you to their parents, they will approve of the relationship so yay! 🥰

Thanks so much for reading! Have a nice day, here's a little treat 🍭🧁🍨🍬🍡🍦🧋🍧🍩

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot readings #tarot deck #tarot #tarot cards #shufflemancy #free readings #pendulum reading #astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #witchcraft #wicca #kpop #witches of color #black tarot readers

1K notes · View notes

disruptivevoib · 26 days

Text

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

#chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #voidthoughts #i know the album is interpretive!! but i also think it is crucial that we dont pin any one of them down as villains or anything #that like while hms are all flawed and cruel to one another they ultimately are also victims of themselves its #its the like culprit and victim motif #the “you're doing this to yourself and you shouldn't feel you have to do that”#internal communication with yourself. learning kindness and humility and whatnot is very important!!#thats all

161 notes · View notes

under-lore · 7 months

Text

How much merit did "Star is Chara's theme" have really ?

The music of Undertale is quite renown for a number of things, from its quality to its abundant usage of leitmotifs.

However, there are a few tracks which went under the radar, such as the ones that went unused in the final release of the game.

One of such tracks was "Star".

youtube

This particular unused track found itself in an intriguing situation when it became the center of one of Undertale's biggest fully soundtrack-based theories of the early fandom.

The theory suggested that "Star" may have been an unfinished version of what could have been a Chara theme before the idea was eventually scrapped before mounting up to anything concrete.

That theory was based around the way Toby Fox makes his music and the way it correlates to his characters.

For instance, from its rhythm to its instruments and its intensity or even its fairly epic/heroic yet pretty chaotic & impulsive nature, Spear of justice has "Undyne" written all over it it countless ways. It isn't just an Undyne-associated song, the song literally feels like Undyne. It is a musical representation of Undyne and the situation she finds herself in at the moment. And that is how a lot of Toby's music is written.

Even someone who has never heard the song and knows nothing about Undertale, if given a description of each of the main characters and asked of which one was this a theme of, would easily find the right answer.

This particularity comes from a few things, such as the fact that Toby confessed that he actually often makes the music first and then creates the scene around it by taking inspiration from the music.

And so, in the case of character themes, it means that Toby Fox songs end up being filled with hidden details and tones that are relevant to a character's personality, backstory, psyche, etc... And thus makes the songs a lot closer to the characters.

Due to this, a number of fans tried to reverse engineer some of the unused songs using this technique in order to try and figure out what they might have been for, and "Star" was the one that stood out.

The reason why it stood out was because the fans did believe they were able to find such connections between "Star" and the first fallen human.

Some of the ties they proposed between the song and the character were :

The song starts out with a sad/depressing tone similar to grief or regret, seen as possibly alluding to how Chara's plan was a failure (that Flowey came to cruelly regret), and how it caused the kingdom to fall into despair after their death.

In addition, the song has a very strong "echo" effect, which is also often associated with the idea of death as well as that of the consequences of the past coming back to you. Two things that Chara as a character is also associated with.

But it soon begins to obtain an uplifting and hopeful undertone as the song goes on. This can be attributed both to Chara being seen as the future of humans and monsters, but also to their newfound "reincarnation" allowing them a new second chance at existence.

The combinaison of the previous two things makes the song feels somewhat confused before it finds itself a stable path. Which could also be tied to Chara's words at the of genocide. (but that one is a bit more of a stretch)

The song overall just has a very similar vibe to "his theme", Chara's best friend. As Toby likes to have musical similarities between themes of characters that are closely tied together.

The song is just long enough so that it could have fit to play during the chara flashbacks scenes at the end of pacifist if we were to add back the unused few more images that were going to be in there originally. (Side note : this being the case would give point n°3 a very toby-esque double meaning too. With Chara being there both in Asriel's memory and reincarnated)

Some claim that the instruments used in the song can tie it to the Dreemurr family, however my ear is not good enough to tell wether this point is actually valid or just a rumor.

The song starts off weak in intensity, but begins to grow stronger after a click that radically changes the song's overall feeling. (the same one that was proposed to be about their reincarnation.) This was suggested to be a reference to Chara's words about power at the end of the genocide route.

That the name of the song is "Star" in the first place, as there also happens to be a star named "Chara" not all that far from our solar System. On top of that, this particular constellation is known for having a top/northern dog star, and a south/lower dog star. Our Chara star is the lower dog Star, which could be interpreted as a metaphor for being a human yet living in the underground.

...Which isn't that for bad for a track that only lasts like 30 seconds.

So due to these reasons and to the fact that the song clearly seemed unfinished, it quickly became a popular theory that the song was supposed to be related to Chara in some way, with the flashbacks at the end of pacifist being a prime suspect for its intended scrapped use.

However, some time later, this screenshot came along :

The reliability of this screenshot is to be taken with a grain of salt, as there are many rumors that this screenshot may have been fake, and i have not been able to properly identify the source of these rumors. And besides, a private e-mail isn't something that can be easily verfied the existence of.

But all that aside, the e-mail seems to say that before it was scrapped, the usage of 'Star' was actually attempted for the fight against Madjick, a regular enemy from near the end of the game.

Although technically not fully disproving it (as the fact that Toby makes the music first & it not fitting Madjick much or just overall that regular enemies don't usually have such unique themes might let one argue that it was first made for something other than Madjick, then was used for Madjick before being removed.), the way that Toby appears to talk about it seems to imply that there isn't really more to the song than that, and thus that the theory would just be wrong after all.

Since then, the theory was pretty much left as is, slowly fading away in popularity over time.

Was this theory correct ? Whilst we will probably never be sure, the answer is most likely no. I wouldn't bet on it, at least.

However, no matter wether this was all ultimately just a coincidence or not, one thing which remains true is that the music certainly does sound quite close to how one would have expected a Chara version of "his theme" from Toby to sound like.

The same cannot be said for other fanon Chara associated themes, such as "Megalo strike back". While Toby did make this song, this was not the song's intended name and it didn't have anything to do with Undertale.

I find it unfortunate that people went fishing this far on Toby's archives for a song to make fanon Chara content around when Star was right here in the Undertale game files for the taking and would have been a more fitting choice overall.

By default of being an actual Chara song, Star still had everything one would need to build good Toby-like fanon Chara songs around at the very least. But this opportunity went surprisingly under-exploited under Megalo strikes back's shadow.

It doesn't mean there aren't any Chara fanthemes using Star, though.

For instance, Undertale bits & pieces made this Genocide Chara theme using the Star leitmotif among a couple others. I believe it is an example of using Star as an inspiration done well !

youtube

#undertale #undertale theory #chara #undertale chara #toby fox #undertale music #Youtube #undertale bits and pieces

149 notes · View notes

kotori-mochi · 23 days

Text

Pink Floyd: animated music video contest.

So Pink Floyd had an animated art contest.

"Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon 50th Anniversary Animation Video Competition."

There were a fair amount of good entries, some I thought were going to win BUT guess who won? It was an AI bro, this person won an animation contest by putting in some prompts into a program.

The only thing they made was the tittle card, everything else was all done by a program that uses stolen data.

This just was so depressing and especially since there were some well made drawn animations.

Like this one here

I recommend watching their video it's fantastic, it does have nudity but it's nothing sexual. Also go check out the other entries too because these actual artist need the love for their hard work.

Something I also learned is each song was in a category, so there were multiple winners. One of the videos that did lose to that AI one was this one link.

Also very well made and created by a person, not a program but they and others who put in for that song lost.

Overall, knowing that someone won an animation contest and didn't do any animating. Over the people who spent months working on a animated music video, with there own hands and skills.

It just makes me question, what's the point in entering these contest? When it seems an Ai generated entry will always win.

Note: Also they know it's AI generated because the guy who won, literally said he used an AI generator.

#pink floyd #art #artist #animation #art contest #ai issues

54 notes · View notes

deesi-academia · 9 days

Text

rough ttpd review because i need to get it out.

people who love this album, don't read it.

if news came out that taylor's ex thought of another woman in bed while dating taylor... if the ex told her taylor to get over her depression quicker so that they can get married and have a happy-ever-after... if the ex rebounded to a very problematic person and defended them from everyone...

yeah that ex would be dragged into the dirtiest pits of hell by swifties. but now that it's taylor who did all that and admitted it openly?

oh then she was just going a tough time :( oh she's just being raw and vulnerable about her messiest decisions because she trusts us! oh she was in a such a bad space because her ex with mental illness was exhibiting signs of mentall illness around her :(( it really took a toll on her, she was trapped trying to fix him :(( she's lost her youth to that man!! she's sharing her regrets with us omg she's so brave!!

Meet taylor, always the victim, always the oppressed, always the wronged, and calls herself a monster in the most passive aggressive way I've heard in a song. (I've rhymed here more than 60% of the album)

I cannot, with a clear conscience, listen to this album and like it. Not to mention the downgraded lyrics and repetitive basic production which covers at least 80% of the album. Most songs feel like a diary entry she put into whatever tune she got in a second.

Some songs here and there yeah I really do love them and want them on repeat, but majorly? I can't deal with this album. This album makes me feel guilty as sin.

With the marketing of this album, I genuinely expected some dark academia folklore type vibes and lyrics. Something like 'carolina' and yes, 'the albatross' and 'so long london'. But overall the marketing was WAYYY off, specially how taylor made everyone believe for a YEAR that Joe was the one who cheated on her. Now that the album is out we know Joe was just struggling mentally, taylor got bored and went to the nearest 'spark'. She was the one who definitely emotionally cheated first, no evidence to say she actually cheated but yeah.

The entire marketing being about bashing Joe and high-class lyrics and dark academia vibes falls FLAT on its face. The album is mostly about her shitty rebound and how she suffers through all of it. It's extremely one-sided and biased ofcourse but tone deaf too, specially with that 'without all the racists' line. The line feels like she's trying to save face after defending Matty throughout the album.

The album just leaves a sour taste in my mouth and on my moral compass. The album just proves how taylor owns the double standards in her favor because of the massive fan-base she's accumulated.

Tldr; this album is for people who are ready to defend taylor because she's their icon. its not for swifties/people who can be critical of taylor too.

#swifties when they make a good interpretation of a bad decision: ITS MY OPINION #swifties when others make a bad interpretation of a bad decision: NO YOURE WRONG #well this is my opinion #i have my own moral compass to follow and im not apologetic about it. go cry.#anyway yeah this album took a toll on me in a bad way #not tagging because i dont want to get attacked #@others who read this pls dont tag it either if by chance it resonates with you

17 notes · View notes

lil-melody-moon · 2 days

Note

OKAY IT’S HAPPENING, EVERYBODY STAY CALM!! I’ve finally finished my opinion on “The who by numbers” This took me so long but it’s finally here so I hope you enjoy:

Before I start, I feel the need to say (once again) that I really love the design of the cover and the fact that John Entwistle actually drew the cover himself makes it even better. I love a talented King ❤️

Okay, now the opinion you’ve been waiting for:

1. Slip Kid: The cowbell at the beginning of the song?? I LOVED IT. Great intro. I think it captures the vibes of the album really well. Btw Is that Roger on backing vocals?? I love the song. I have no idea what it is about but I love it 🤣

2. However much I booze: Ummm excuse me??? This song is a fucking vibe. Now I understand why this song is your favourite😍 I don’t know what they put in this song but fuuuuck it’s so damn groovy and the melody it’s soooo catchy. Keith’s drumming and John’s bass in this one are superb

3. AAAAA SQUEEZE BOX MY BELOVED, MY BABY. I literally forced all of my friends to listen to this one. They looked at me weird when I played the song for them in the car but idc. Anyway, This one is my favourite and you already know the context behind why I love this one 😏🤣

4. Dreaming from the waist: All I can say about this song is that I absolutely love the dedication John Entwistle and Keith Moon put in this song. All I can hear is bass and drums 👀❤️

5. Imagine A Man: Okay confession. The first time I listened to this song I did not like very much but now that I’ve listened to it a few more times I think It’s starting to grow on me. Also, the line “Imagine a past where you wish you had lived” literally wrecked me, I felt it in my soul 💔

6. Sucess Story: I have the feeling that I’ve heard this song before…. It sounds like a mix between “All the way from Memphis” by Mott the Hoople and “It’s only Rock N Roll (But I like it) by the Rolling Stones. I might be wrong tho but all these songs have the same vibes 🤣

7. They Are All in love: This is probably my least favourite (don’t kill me) the song is good and I like how Keith and John sound together but idk. Maybe I need to listen to it more

8. Blue Red and Grey: IS THIS PETE ON VOCALS TOO?? Holy sweet mother of jesus his voice feels like a warm hug. Is that an ukelele?? YEP IT IS. I’ve read that Pete wanted to commit suicide and that’s why he wrote this song. If that’s true I feel so sorry for Pete :(

9. How many friends: HELLO?? THE DRUMS? THE GUITAR??? Holy fuck I like everything about this song. “How many friends have I really got? Well you can count ‘em on the one hand” THAT’S LITERALLY ME. I only have a few friends but feel so lucky to have them.

10. In a hand or a face: This song reminds me of Baba O’Riley for some reason🤣 Are we absolutely sure that this isn’t a leftover song from “Who’s Next?”

Oh, by the way, I still can’t tell the difference between Pete and Roger’s voices but I feel like Pete sings in almost every song of the album so I don’t really know what to say about Roger’s input in the album except for the backing vocals (he sings beautifully)

Overalls, this album is really fun to listen to, it’s very complete and catchy. From what I’ve read, this album took ages to be completed cause Pete had a writer’s block and depression but I’m so glad he recovered and finished the album. So far, this is probably my favourite The Who album. I still need to listen to Quadrophenia in its entirety tho.

Okay so first of all, to clear your doubts, Pete's voice is the warm one, "However Much I Booze" and "Blue Red and Grey" are sung by him, the rest is Roger. Roger has a distinct voice, if you know "Squeeze Box" by heart, you know Roger's voice <3

Normally Roger sings, occasionally Pete does, Pete and John are always the backing vocals, Keith only shines from time to time, not a single song of his on this one, BUT I'm so glad to hear that the rhythm section is catching your attention this much - you would have to see me grin when you said you can't hear nothing but bass and drums XD

About the stories you mentioned there, I didn't read much, so I believe in what you're saying. I somehow can't bring myself to really dig in the history of the band, I'm probably afraid of a thing or two, but like, I'm so glad Pete recovered from depression as well - he's a lovely guy really, deserving the best <3

I'm very happy that you love the album this much and I certainly can't fucking wait for you to dive into "Quadrophenia". You'll hear my screaming when you send me your opinion, plus... I'm still waiting for your opinion about "Tommy" and the revenge. Take care, my dear and have fun on the path to become a The Who fan <3

#ack I'm so glad she loves it!#ask corner

16 notes · View notes

mokeonn · 2 months

Text

I finally actually watched Hazbin Hotel because I was like "I really shouldn't be so judgey, how can I say I hate a show I haven't even watched?" And I can safely say after 5 episodes in:

I hate it.

So I will preface this rant about my feelings towards this controversial show with the following positive statements:

I understand why people enjoy the show, it's fun, the animation is really enjoyable to watch, the music numbers are pretty good, the voice acting is also good, and the whole thing feels like it was constructed around a fandom. Though that last part is a flaw in the overall series, I completely see why people enjoy it. If a series was practically built around making fanfiction, ocs, or fun redesigns, people are gonna have fun making those things. I literally can't blame anyone for enjoying this show. It should also go without saying that I don't think people are morally evil for enjoying the show. I do believe, however, that your taste in shows is bad if you love this show.

I came into this show expecting the WORST. Everything I was told about it was how it was such an awful show and all the horrible things it does. So I was expecting the worst thing I've ever watched to appear before me tonight.

So imagine my surprise when the first 3 episodes aren't that bad. They aren't good, but they're not awful. It's just mid! The animation is fun to watch, the songs are catchy, and the pacing is only a little off. There were a lot of little moments where we got payoff with no set-up. Things like a dramatic reveal of a character that appears to want to evoke a "oh woah, it's that guy!!" moment, but we don't even know who that guy is. A character belting out a dramatic emotional ballad that is also a duet with another major character, but we were introduced to that character earlier that episode and we don't know her well enough to really care about her heartfelt emotional song. Moments that felt more awkward than anything else. Other than that, the show wasn't too bad! I was enjoying myself! I was worried that I was going to enjoy this extremely hated series and how it was going to reflect on my public tumblr image!

And then episode 4 hit.

Episode 4 starts off very similar to the others, and all around, I think it's a pretty good episode if it wasn't for the ending, but we'll get to that.

Episode 4 is a heavier episode dealing with Angel Dust's abuse at the hands of his boss. It gets fairly graphic at points, but with the way people were describing it, I was actually expecting far worse. It has a catchy song from Angel Dust about this abuse, and towards the end, he falls into a self-destructive spiral and vents about how much he wants to basically crash and burn in the hopes that maybe the abuse would stop or he would become too fucked up to notice/care anymore. You know what? This is a pretty heavy hitting topic and really spoke to me as a person who is dealing with addiction and struggles with depression spirals. I felt a lot of what Angel Dust was feeling, even if our situations were completely different. What is the response our little pink spider friend gets? An admittedly catchy song about how he's right that he sucks and he's a loser, "but hey, I'm a loser too! So we can be losers together."

Now, I get what the song is TRYING to say. It's trying to say that you're not alone, that "if you're a loser, then I'm a loser too. But we can be losers together." Which is a nice sentiment and all... but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. It doesn't portray this idea that you're not alone in this world, and there's plenty of people going through similar experiences, so it's important to connect with each other. It instead focuses on feeling more self-depreciating, which is fine and all, but it feels like an inappropriate time to be self-depreciating.

If a person with very low self-esteem vents about their abuse and talks down about themselves, and admits to wanting to self-harm by committing self-destructive behaviors on purpose... I think "seld-depreciation" is the last thing I would want to do with that person.

I get it. The song is trying to be funny and silly with self-depreciating humor to lighten the dark mood and show how Angel Dusk and the weird deep voiced cat-boy (yes, I know his name is Husk) are now getting along and relating to eachother by making jokes about how stupid they were to get into their awful situations... but the song really leaves a sour taste in my mouth because it just feels... wrong. It feels like the wrong response.

The story makes it seem like the song breaks this cycle of self-destructive behaviors and allows the characters to make the first step towards redemption/breaking the cycle of abuse; The song does not fit this theme, it instead just continues that cycle while the story continues on as if it did something else.

I might not be conveying my reasons for WHY the song left a bad taste in my mouth very well, but all you really need to know is that the vibes were off and it seemed like there was something left on the cutting room floor or a mistake between the writers and song writers.

Episode 5 is where I stopped. Like, I can't even finish it. Those previously mentioned pacing issues were nothing compared to the constant wave of hits episode 5 gave me.

First off, we are getting payoff for something that was actually set up! Popping some bottles here! It happens a couple times in the other episodes, but here: a major character is revealed after being talked about and foreshadowed in previous episodes! This really was a first in the series as most of the time, characters were just introduced when the story needed them, causing those awkward moments where a villain or major character got introduced. Valentino was introduced in an episode with some build-up earlier in said episode, but having a character actually be hinted at in earlier episodes before a reveal felt completely new.

And then it was... disappointing. The payoff did not match the set-up. I will state it right now. Lucifer, as a character, caused me to entirely stop watching the show mid episode 5. When you have this big dramatic backstory about how he was an angel of creation who wanted to create, a rebel who went against all he'd ever known to meet another rebel and fall in love with her, a deeply sad man who hid away refusing to take part in ruling hell, leaving it all to his wife? The fact that this is based on Christian theology and Lucifer already has ages of connotation and lore attached to him? Idk I think, "self depreciating, awkward, sad man who doesn't know how to greet his daughter on the phone, and spends all his time making little toy ducks" is... a huge fucking let-down. I understand they're trying to go a more humorous route of "He isn't scary at all, he's just a huge dork!" But it doesn't work, and it just makes me cringe. This alone would be a lot to process in one episode... but Episode 5 still has a LOT of punches in it!

The episode first states that they only have a couple months before the deadline, implying that around 4 months have passed since the first and second episode. Nothing really implies that much time passing between episode 1 and 4, and in the episode, Charlie states all the things they have been working on. Which is things we have already seen in the show. Which tells me that they really haven't been working on anything offscreen during this sudden time skip, so what the fuck happened between episodes 1-4??

Anyways, I could have misread this entire thing and thought far too much into Charlie's stress and the "only a couple months away!". With the word "couple" and the stress the character is clearly going through, I assumed that they were 2 months from the deadline, but maybe I was wrong. I don't know. I didn't finish the episode, and I'm not watching any more.

The first major "hit by a truck" moment was when Lucifer makes his way to the hotel and suddenly, he gets into a feud with Allister. They both sing a song about who is the better Dad to Charlie, and I am sitting there confused because, huh?? Wha?? Where the fuck did this "Allister Dad" thing come from?? NOWHERE in the last 4 episodes (nor the pilot) imply this relationship. Allister is the tumblr sexyman Mary-sue who gets at least 1 new power every episode. Nothing about him out of his entire screen time was paternal. Just as my confusion reaches a boiling point... they introduce a new character suddenly with an unearned "it's ME!" Intro (although unlike past intros, it is ironic).

She's a sassy little flapper who is friends with Allister and whose only purpose this episode is to cause problems to come to the Hotel's way later in the episode, and to give Allister's backstory. A backstory that we really didn't need. Like REALLY didn't need. Seriously this entire show we have been told and shown that Allister is a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. This backstory reveals that he is... a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. The only purpose of this backstory is to reveal a spooky thing he does so he can use it as a threat later in the episode.

Husk confronts Allister about his friend because she always brings trouble, and he snaps at Allister, making a sassy comment. Allister threatens Husk with the previously mentioned spooky thing he is totally known for that was revealed in the backstory.

Lucifer does not approve of the hotel, which makes an awkward scene where Charlie is trying to explain her thinking and her personal experience to her absent father and Lucifer shoots her down by poorly hinting that it just "wouldn't work" because he knows from personal experience. I am not having a good time watching two characters communicate poorly primarily because I hate one of them so much.

The previously mentioned trouble comes their way, and Allister reveals new awesome Allister powers for the 3rd time this episode and goes off to fight off the trouble. Charlie uses this as a way to try to reason with her father. Allister finishes his fight and scolds his friend for using him to fight off the trouble she gets into like Husk said earlier. He then informs here that she either needs to leave or come and stay at the hotel to rehabilitate. She stomps off, and I feel so tired of a third huge payoff with not a lot of set-up.

Allister (who I probably have been misspelling his name this whole time and no I will NOT check) feels like he did a ton of development and growth... entirely off screen. This feels like a 180 to me. This entire show he has been this evil, off-putting guy, that vaguely helps at the hotel, does creepy things, threaten people, and use plot armor powers to save the day or do cool things. So suddenly having an episode where it's stated he has a paternal relationship with Charlie, which has NOT been shown or even HINTED at whatsoever, and where he suddenly turns away a troublemaking friend to protect the hotel he wanted to see fall apart? It's a total 180 from what I'm used to. One could claim that the sudden protection of the hotel was because he wanted to protect his investment, and he knew his friend was using him so he just sent her on her way or offered for her to be tortured in the friendship hotel. I can see an argument for why he didn't threaten or harm his friend when he has killed people or threatened to kill people for less (pretty strong friendship that goes way back when blah blah blah) I can argue about the inconsistencies in how he acts towards the end of this episode compared to the previous episodes of the show all I want.

But come on, you can't argue the sudden paternal thing. That came out of nowhere.

At this point I just, turned off the episode and called it quits. I have heard that the most glaring writing issues come later in the season, and if episode 5 was this bad, I don't wanna keep watching.

Part of me wants to continue watching, as the animation is really enjoyable to watch, and the music is actually pretty fun. But I just know that I'm not going to enjoy myself at all from here on out. It's all going to be downhill from here, and it'll frustrate me. I'm not gonna spend my time watching something I'll hate.

If I wanna watch something frustrating, I'd just watch Jerma play my favorite game for the first time.

#simon says #LONG post #under a read more for a reason #i just... REALLY wanted to complain and vent #also no i did not spell a bunch of names correctly #and also NO none of this is up for debate its all opinion #that one vine like #THATS MY OPINIOOONN #:/ :[#anyways feel free to skip im probably gonna delete it in the morning #it's funny though #my friend told me he liked the show but sees why people dislike it #and I said I disliked the show but see how people can like it #we're both galaxy brained because that's just a normal take to have on things #no more discourse about it. just a simple 'this is my opinion but i get why people disagree with me'#which is the most milquetoast of takes

22 notes · View notes

whumpress · 2 years

Video

10 minutes of anime boy whump: ‘nanase riku’ edition

a compilation featuring one of my most favorite whumpees... since there is a limit on video length on this site, I tried to include my most favorite moments so far, but I’ll include episodes that weren’t featured that I liked regardless down below uwu

* = not included in video

shoutout to @whumpwillow for making me remind myself that I should have done this post wayyyyy sooner lol

- - - - -

SEASON ONE:

*episode 1.2

is seen panting hard after playing a game of basketball, sogo shows concern for him and asks him once again later if he is okay

*episode 4

is coughing numerous times from being nervous/anxious about having to watch tenn perform, the others become concerned for him, is tearing up at the end of the episode

0:00-2:33 - episode 5

pushed himself to perform in the rain despite his health, collapses backstage afterward from an attack, wakes up in a hospital (never disclosed what exactly he has, but it’s just assumed that it’s asthma or some other respiratory disorder)

2:34-3:28 - episode 8

inhaler is broken and starts to show sign of trouble breathing right before they are supposed to perform

*episode 11

planned to confront tenn at the front of his door and talk about how he abandoned his family, but ended up at the wrong room and accidentally vented it all to gaku instead (who didn’t know anything about tenn’s/riku’s history)

SEASON TWO: “SECOND BEAT”

👑 3:29-4:52 - episode 2

panting hard backstage after performing and tries to force himself to do an encore for the fans, harsh coughing and refuses to take nebulizer, is restrained and is forced to take the nebulizer despite pleading to the others to let him continue performing

4:53-7:00 - episode 3

is still coughing (it is mentioned that he is gonna spend the night at the hospital instead of going to the dorms with the others, but that is not actually shown in the episode itself), recovering at the dorms (not shown in this video), gets called out by tenn for his “terrible” performance, starts breathing heavily, cannot continue the performance and tenn ends up taking his place, gets very depressed and sounds like he’s going to cry

7:01-8:07 - episode 5

riku and tenn get into an argument, riku angst galore, starts coughing and breathing hard (having an attack) mid conversation

8:08-8:47 - episode 6

reads comments on social media talking about how iori should replace riku permanently as the center of the group, starts panicking and breathing hard/coughing

note: until episode 11, there’s small snip-its of riku being sad or lost in thought because of iori having to take his place because of his health and since then, their sales have increased for their latest song, so yea... riku is very depressed about the fans liking iori more than riku as the center

SEASON THREE: “THIRD BEAT PT1”

8:48-9:58 - episode 2

men wearing heavy cologne bump into riku and he starts to have an attack, touma carries him on his back and takes him somewhere where he can take his medicine

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH, BUT NANASE RIKU IS TRULY AN S-TIER WHUMPEE, LIKE- AHHHHHHH

there’s some more angst and whump waiting for riku in part 2 of season 3 (whenever it comes out) if my memory is correct, but I’m just gonna have to wait and see because I do know certain moments that occurred that got me screaming for his red-headed precious bean, but I don’t remember if that was in part 3 or part 4 of the game, oh well.

honestly cannot wait for season 4, because I know for certain that this kid is gonna be in northern europe, and that cold, dry air made it almost impossible for ya boi to walk outside and not have everyone be so concerned for him for like 10 minutes.

overall, I’m happy that I have these clips from the compilation stored on my flash drive lol

#10 minutes of anime boy whump #anime sick #anime hospital #anime boy whump #whump #anime whump #whump community #idolish7 whump #nanase riku whump #whumpress

528 notes · View notes

millepara · 3 months

Text

about waccha primagi.

it's ending.... (mega long who cares-type post)

once again, I've seen this coming for a while so I don't have a particularly big emotional reaction to it now. the anime not continuing immediately -> at all, the huge spotlight on idol land at the same time (and--bearing in mind that I don't know anything about anything--possible lack of people/time/money to support primagi as a result), the decrease in original coords and content in the game.... this alone was enough for me to start mourning primagi's loss way before it ended.

I haven't played for over a year, but I hope I can play again before it's over. I'd like to record a vid for each of the new songs I like at least... but I'm busy with yet another cross-country move to god knows where and possibly changing jobs so sadly this is very much on the back burner. maybe after work...? I'm so tired though (ｉ _ ｉ)

I've seen people wondering if the machine will be updated for the new series' game. but: recall that in the past, the new series was teased in pvs and stuff as the next step of pretty series, and that was it. yesterday's sort of stoic text discontinuation of service message is not a normal part of the change to a new series. and it's bad business practice to make us all depressed about the series ending without giving us something new to get excited about first. I think the cabinets will be removed from arcades eventually. I also think that will be the end of idol games in arcades period.

BUT--there is a new series coming. and I cannot imagine any possible reason for them to make an idol anime without an idol game for it to advertise. so that means... surely there must be a new game coming as well!! that leaves 3 possibilities as I see it:

1) actually the cabinet is just changing over normally and they're announcing it in the most disadvantageous way possible. why would they do this

2) another new cabinet?? what a waste of money that would be!! why not set it on fire instead??

3) a game on another platform?? likely smartphone, right? but then look what happened with idol land--how can they manage two apps at once? how can they expect anyone to trust them to do so?

I also would not trust them to do two separate idol apps at once without tanking both, but 3 is still my first choice here because it means people outside of japan can play too, and I don't have to dig out space for yet another card collection. but who knows what will happen. and we'll find out more about the new series soon enough--feb 2 is when the next Ciao with more info is out.

even though a new series is guaranteed, I still don't feel great about it. there's no guarantee yet that it will even be a full anime and not some piddly little webseries that's predestined for death. even if it is, there's still some stuff I feel primagi seriously whiffed on that could have helped its longevity, and some other circumstantial stuff that they had no control over, but which also hasn't been resolved. in the whiff category, the main thing I can recall atm is--why did they never make toys for this kids' anime? kids still want toys, right?? overall, the game felt a little less accessible for kids... or like they weren't pandered to enough? (not nearly to a degree as bad as Planet, though.) I mean, as with everything else I talk about ever, I don't know enough about the topic and am just saying things, but this always stuck out to me a bit. I remember commenting on it a couple times.

the circumstantial stuff is more significant, though. the big one is covid. of course Japan is business as usual by now, like everywhere else I know of, but I just have not seen as many people playing in arcades since 2020. that is especially true for aikatsu and pretty series. the other one: I wonder if idols in general are losing their appeal? I know of a few idol game apps that have ended in the past couple years, and then of course there's aikatsu... recently even Idolm@ster Cinderella Girls Starlight Stage, a game I have played religiously for years, has been making suspicious movements that have really put me on edge. is no one interested in idol series anymore? more broadly speaking, does it seem like there is less anime oriented at young girls overall today as compared to several years ago, or is it just me...?

with that as the backdrop in my mind, though, primagi ending feels more tragic. I may not be drowning in tears, but I am really, truly going to miss it. I honestly think that it had the best story of all of pretty series. I know Rainbow Live is everyone's fav--I like it too!--but it did have this soap opera level of drama that felt facetious and silly if you thought about it too hard. I think there is a certain type of person that will say "but that's why it was the best!! primagi would never!!", and don't get me wrong!! I just said I like it and I think it's fun too!! but I am not talking about opinion, or which was more tongue-in-cheek so-ridiculous-it's-good, which I think is another way to like something ironically. I am only interested in liking things genuinely (bc of the mental illness), and I think primagi was a more genuine example of storytelling with less drama for drama's sake. it also had interesting and unexpected and heart-warming character interaction in the same way RL did. it wasn't perfect, but it was very good. I wish it was longer.

and god, the game looks SO GOOD. I still can't believe how good it looks. I miss notes in the game all the time bc I'm too busy staring with heart eyes at how cute and cool and pretty my idols are in it. the music is SO GOOD, and I know that's very much a matter of opinion, but even by a vaguely more objective metric: I don't find myself thinking "discount kpop" like in Aikatsu Friends sometimes or feeling absolutely, totally unimpressed like in Planet always. the songs were unique for idol anime and kids' anime, and different from the popular stuff my students listen to as well. even if you didn't like the music, it was certainly interesting.

and the coords are AMAZING... they really took advantage of the game's graphics to do fun things with textures and shapes, and even the most fantastical outfits are designed realistically, by which I mean, I know exactly how I can recreate them irl to look exactly like they do in the anime AND ALSO look pretty... given access to enough money. (this was true for pripara as well. but it was something that bothered me a lot in prichan, bc there were a lot of coords that looked like bad papercraft or just plain bad, and would be impossible to recreate irl, and might look awful even if you could.) even though the game is ending and I have to save for the move, I want to buy up all of the cards for coords I like just to have them! and don't get me started on how cute the cards themselves are!!

...but primagi is still ending. I'll live. I don't expect much from the new series in terms of longevity or how much I like it, but I do still hope to be proved wrong.

and in the end, you know what? I never got a decent hairstyle for Biscuit. I'm stuck with the starter twintails to this day. they never released a DARKER SKIN COLOR. maybe primagi had to die all along.

#milk idol diary #praying so hard to be able to meet tapioka in whatever the next pretty series entry is. please please please

21 notes · View notes

presidenthades · 3 months

Text

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 7!

My original expected chapter count for this fic was 7 (one stanza of “The Song of the Seven” for each chapter title), but as I started increasing the number, I realized I needed to get creative with chapter titles. For this chapter, I picked the penultimate lyric “close your eyes, you shall not fall” because much of the chapter consists of Aegon helping Jace not “fall” into a further downward spiral, and there’s a certain amount of faith required by all parties that everything is going to be OK in the end.

Originally, Jace’s road to recovery was going to be even rougher than in the final version. She refuses to eat or drink anything, and her family gets pretty desperate to the point of doing stupid things to get her to eat. But I felt like that was unnecessary angst and trauma, and she’s already been through enough, so I dialed it back.

Similarly, she was going to have bad perinatal depression up until and after she gave birth, and there was a sequence where she refused to even hold Cheeseball for some time after he was born. But again, it made me feel like I was whumping on Jace and Aegon for unnecessary pain, so I focused more on the “comfort” rather than the “hurt” part.

This chapter is in Aegon’s POV because it was originally supposed to be the second half of Chapter 6 before I realized it was way too long. After I cut it in half, I debated rewriting it in Jace’s POV, but she’s stuck inside her head a lot this chapter whereas Aegon has a lot more action and growth. We return to Jace in Chapter 8 when she’s feeling more like herself but still recovering.

Orwyle is not a popular character in the fandom, which is understandable. He only gets like one minute of screen time, but that one minute made me think a lot about his character. When he’s a junior maester, he suggests a new poultice to try on Viserys instead of the traditional leeching method, and he shows a bit of doctorly compassion to Rhaenys when Vaemond’s body is being prepared. In the book, Orwyle’s defining trait is that he’s cowardly (he literally rewrites history to make himself look better to the Blacks, and he flees from the ship taking him to the Wall). But I was intrigued by how he ends up working at a mid-level brothel and teaches the girls there to read (how he gets caught later). He didn’t have to teach them how to read, but he chose to anyway (to his own detriment).

Overall I consider Orwyle as someone who’s very talented at his job (healing and teaching), and is actually a pretty empathetic person (good quality in a doctor), but he’s not strong-willed and is willing to cave on his principles to stay alive. Not exactly a villain, definitely not a hero either. So he’s going to do his job and do it well, regardless of his patient (especially in this AU verse where there’s less conflict).

After three years in the Stepstones, I’d be shocked if Aegon didn’t learn first aid (same with Aemond). He’s not necessarily interested in healing and such, but he’s capable of basic combat-adjacent medical tasks. So he knows how to clean and bandage wounds, and he can recognize common healing herbs.

I don’t think I need to explain that Westeros has a pretty poor understanding of mental health and doesn’t know what therapy is 😅. For most people who’ve undergone trauma, they would probably be told “carry on, as you were, etc” and they have to just “get over it.” But Jace is a princess who doesn’t have to worry about earning a living, has an overprotective husband, and is pregnant with a very important baby so her health and comfort are of paramount importance. So she luckily has a supportive environment dedicated to her recovery.

As is stated later in the chapter/fic, Jace fires her remaining LIWs because she’s convinced herself that it’s her fault they were injured/killed, and sending them away from her service will keep them safe. Irrational to be sure, but Jace has always been prone to blaming herself for things. She’s also worried that firing the LIWs will reflect poorly on them, hence her trying to compensate them monetarily. But the offer is insulting to Rhaena, who acts as a LIW primarily out of love. If Jace were more herself, she would’ve realized the implications of her offer equating Rhaena’s love/loyalty with a monetary value.

Initially, Jace’s list of “safe people” is very short: Aegon and Luce. Aegon is self-explanatory. Of all her sisters, only Luce makes the initial list because a) they’ve always been very close and b) Luce was there when they found Jace at the Garden, so there’s an added feeling of security. Although Aemond was also at the Garden, he isn’t on the list because their prior relationship wasn’t nearly as close as the other two.

When Rhaenyra touches Jace’s face while trying to feed her, Jace flips out because the Tyroshi grabbed her face when forcing down the dreamwine and later during his attempt with moon tea.

A little irony in Aegon offering to be Jace’s taste tester, when you think about how he dies in F&B 😢.

During Chapter 7 of the Handbook, Luce picks up three dragonglass daggers from the blacksmith. I mentioned them in the Handbook commentaries, but I’ll reiterate that she intended for Jace, herself, and Joff to each have one, as the three full-blooded daughters of Rhaenyra and Laenor. Jace clearly hasn’t been using her dagger, except to display it on her mantel maybe.

Daemon has decided to develop an emergency protocol in case any of the Targ girls are kidnapped again. I’ve been debating writing a oneshot about it.

Castle kitchens are hot, loud, messy places, and a princess would have no reason to ever go there. In a castle as large as the Red Keep, there are probably multiple kitchens. I imagine the Holdfast has a king’s privy kitchen and queen’s privy kitchen solely for prepping their food, and probably other kitchens too. I imagine the largest kitchens to be in the main part of the Red Keep, and that’s where Aegon puts Gyles and Ronnel. It’s a longer walk to get the pies to Jace and Aegon, but Gyles and Ronnel have a much wider social circle of other servants. It’s also where Aegon has his little office of petitions, and he likes being able to run out and grab pies whenever he wants.

Gyles and Ronnel are used to Aegon, so they’re relatively chummy with him. But they’ve never met Jace before, have only ever seen her at 1000% gorgeousness during her wedding parade, and have heard plenty of Aegon’s stories about how perfect she is. Of course they treat her with more respect and awe than they treat Aegon 😛.

I like to think that Ronnel does become a knight one day, and he wins a tourney in Jace’s name 🥰. And he’d probably take on a house name like Baker to honor his father.

I was trying to figure out how orange juice was made before things like juicers were invented. England had cider presses for apples, but citrus wasn’t really a thing for them back in the Middle Ages. Eventually I stumbled across the citrus reamer, which is definitely something they could’ve carved/created back in the day, but I COULD NOT get over how phallic it looked 😂. Naturally, Aegon finds it hilarious. I’m debating whether Gyles truly is innocent or if he’s messing with Aegon and has a great poker face.

I lingered on the details of how the pies are made because it’s important that Jace sees the process for herself and internalizes that pies are safe foods, they aren’t drugged, Gyles is trustworthy, etc.

I wanted to make sure that Jace wasn’t in a depressed, traumatized torpor all the time, because that isn’t how it works. She can have “good” moments when she’s moving around and seems normal, and then there can be “bad” moments when something triggers her, or she’s having an off day, and she spirals. The important thing is that she’s overall making progress, and it’s OK if she has days when she takes a few steps back.

We got more info in Chapter 8 on what Jace and Luce talk about in the garden. Luce is thinking about her upcoming nameday, which is the earliest date that Rhaenyra will allow her to be betrothed. But then there’s another year until her sixteenth nameday, when Rhaenyra will allow her to get married. Luce is pretty impatient, so she wants to figure out how much canoodling she can get away with during the year in between. So she asks Jace, because she’s positive Aegon didn’t keep his hands entirely to himself before the official wedding 😏.

Aegon is now very loath to ever let Jace out of his sight again, unless he’s 100% sure she’s safe in their room. The Joff incident in Chapter 9 probably doesn’t help.

Luce always haggles, even if it’s about how much distance Aegon has to stay behind her and Jace.

Aegon immediately gets bored of guard duty. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some form of ADHD: Impulsive, restless, moody, hyperfixation (usually on Jace, but he can get really into his sleuthing).

Hypersexuality sometimes occurs after trauma/sexual violence, hence Jace’s uncharacteristic behavior after the garden scene. And knowing Jace, she’s probably (wrongfully) blaming herself somehow for “leading on” the Tyroshi.

Luce heard the Langward knight gossiping about Jace and got upset, then Aemond beat up the knight to make her feel better, as one does.

Court life means people are always going to gossip and run with the most salacious rumor possible, and it reignites Aegon’s desire for a private life, where he and Jace can live according to their own devices without worrying about what other people think. Unless he pulls a Maegor, he can’t do anything to stop the courtiers from acting like courtiers. So he comes up with the Dragonstone solution, but it’s only a temporary solution. As Otto says in Chapter 10, they are inextricably a part of the game, and Aegon and Jace can only hide away in Dragonstone for so long.

When they were kids, Aegon came up with many plans that got them all in trouble, so Luce recognizes the face he makes 😝.

Aegon has a very soldier mindset of “just pack some clothes and leave,” without thinking about how complicated it is to actually pack a princess’ household. Luckily Luce knocks some sense into him!

I don’t know what winter roses are supposed to look like except that they’re blue, but I liked the idea of petals close together huddling for warmth. And I completely made up Valyrian roses. Not sure if they actually came from Valyria or if it’s named just for the appearance.

Despite everything that happened, Jace is STILL WORKING 😭. What else do we expect from a girl who worked on her wedding night, I guess…

KL has a well system (it’s a big deal during Jaehaerys’s reign), but I imagine the public wells and fountains get real dirty real fast, especially in poorer parts of the city. When Jace was at the Garden, I imagine the girls had limited clean water to offer her for drinking and washing because they have to walk pretty far for good water. So Jace is thinking about that as she writes her well cleaning proposal.

I’ve been thinking a while about writing an Otto POV fic, and one of the ideas I jotted down for myself was that Otto is secretly a nerd about public infrastructure and sanitation. Oldtown seems to be a much cleaner and better run city than KL. I like to think about Otto adopting pet projects that make the capital less smelly and dirty. So Otto is naturally a supporter of a well cleaning project, and I’ve mentioned before that he likes Jace. Also he’s very invested in the pregnancy being successful, so he’ll do his part to reduce stressors.

Once again, the key to influencing/manipulating Jace is not by appealing to her own desires, but by appealing to the happiness and well-being of her loved ones. Aegon knows this, and it’s a good thing he adores her too much to use this power for evil.

Aegon’s household is basically just Gyles and Ronnel, so his departure preparations are quick. I’m sure he has personal servants assigned to him who handle his laundry and such, but he probably bribed them years ago to leave him alone so he can have privacy and sneak out. And he became rather self-sufficient in the Stepstones (although as royalty, he would’ve had servants there too for menial stuff), so he doesn’t want anyone helping him dress or shave or bathe or whatnot.

Aemond is such a bro, holding down a knight so Aegon can beat him up 🥲. Aegon knows Jace would disapprove of him breaking someone’s jaw for gossiping so he’s careful not to leave any evidence on his person.

Aegon also knows how to push Aemond’s buttons, so he easily convinces Aemond to join the Dragonstone vacation. Aemond would probably have invited himself anyway once he found out about the guest list.

While Jace has been reducing the governing work she does during pregnancy, Rhaenyra has been doing more of it. In canon, Rhaenyra seems content to isolate herself with her family at Dragonstone, so I carried over that attitude of savoring domestic bliss into this verse. But here, Jace is an overachiever, and I think her example kickstarts Rhaenyra into being more active too. So Rhaenyra has work obligations, and social ones as she’s been ingratiating herself at court again. It would be difficult to pack up her entire household (much larger than Jace and Aegon’s) and disappear to Dragonstone for 2-3 months, so she can’t immediately leave like the kids can.

Like Aegon, Rhaenyra is a bit paranoid now about letting Jace out of her sight. She’s also had a longstanding petty grudge about Jace picking Aegon as her #1, so she strongly disapproves of Aegon’s plan to take Jace away, even though Dragonstone is very close and technically her castle.

Aegon is not what I’d call emotionally mature, and he’s a troublemaker by nature. So he deliberately responds to Rhaenyra with things he knows she’ll hate hearing. And in the end, he forces Rhaenyra’s hand by telling Jace “of course Rhaenyra would love for us to go to Dragonstone” 😇.

Poor Daeron is too pure for Daemon’s Torture 101 class. Meanwhile Joff has an avid clinical interest in human anatomy, and Daemon is having the time of his life. Targ family bonding!

The Tyroshi put a collar on Jace, so Daemon put a collar on him to make things fair.

The Tyroshi knows he’s never going to escape, and he’s already endured an awful amount of torture/mutilation. At this point his goal is to die swiftly, so he tries to provoke Aegon into killing him.

I haven’t 100% decided the Tyroshi’s backstory, but I’m imagining him coming from one of the powerful conclave families in Tyrosh. There was absolutely no need for him to go to Westeros and make money through usury and slavery; he chose to because he thought it’d be fun to “get one over” the Targaryens by conducting a trafficking ring in their own capital (I imagine Tyrosh having an ancestral hatred of Valyrians, even though a lot of their culture was inherited from them as a result of being part of their empire). Just in case it wasn’t clear what kind of sadistic sociopathic person he is.

Joff has been brooding a lot about Laenor’s death ever since they found Old Willow, and now her guilt is carrying over into recent events with Jace.

We will learn more about the wet nurse in Aegon’s memory in future fics 👀. She calls him “Uncrowned One” because in this verse, he’ll be another Aegon the Uncrowned.

“Three children you shall have with your wife, black or green or something in between.” In canon, Aegon has three kids with Helaena. In this verse…well, I feel like I’ve dropped a lot of foreshadowing about him and Jace 😊. “In between” refers to how there isn’t a strong black/green divide in this verse, but there’s a new faction (gold) that includes people on both sides.

“All of them shall break like your legs and wings.” In canon, all of Aegon and Helaena’s children die terribly, and Aegon and Sunfyre end up crippled. In this verse, there is a close call during Cheeseball’s birth; if the maester and midwives had chosen to save Jace, the process for extracting a stuck baby is really gruesome.

“Unless you keep this little shadow close to the sun.” Jace has gotten a lot of sun imagery in this fic, and Joff is kinda obviously the shadow. It’s because of Joff’s intervention that the birth ends well. So there’s a way to avoid the “broken” part of the prophecy, but the condition must be met.

Aegon is a skeptic when it comes to witchcraft and prophecy, but there’s a reason his subconscious brings to the memory at this moment. Don’t leave Joff behind!

Aemond finds it extremely undignified that Vhagar, the largest dragon in the world and a veteran of multiple military conflicts, has been relegated to delivering baggage.

The stained dancing slippers that Jace finds in her room at Dragonstone are the same slippers that someone (Luce) accidentally ruins in Chapter 3 of the Handbook.

Valyria is strongly inspired by Classical Greece and Rome, so I decided to give them Roman-style bathhouses, which were often decorated with mosaics and has a hot room, warm room, and cold room. The Targs (or whoever built the castle) imported this to Dragonstone, and the volcano means they can get hot water very easily. Aegon was in the guest quarters last time he visited so this is his first time seeing the family bathhouse.

Some commenters suggested that Luce and Aemond are probably canoodling during their trips to the Dragonmont. There might be some of that going on, but Aemond is a huge dragon nerd, so I can imagine him geeking out about exploring the Dragonmont while Luce is disgruntled about him being oblivious to her attempts to make out 😂.

Gerardys is hoping that Jace will be OK with him and the midwives helping her by the time it’s time to give birth. But in case she isn’t OK, he decides to put one of the Targ girls on a midwifery fast-track. He picks Baela because she’s the strongest of the bunch, and acting as a midwife can be very physically exhausting.

Meanwhile, the mysterious bangs in the tower are Joff and Daeron trying to figure out ways to light the glass candle. This involves blowing up some stuff along the way.

Hyrkoon the Hero is part of ASOIAF lore, one of the potential alternative names for Azor Ahai. I decided that he’s the main character in quite a few fairy tales/myths, and every hero needs a sidekick. I invented the sidekick Santus the Swine by combining a half-pig character in Chinese folklore and Don Quixote’s Sancho Panza (whose name is supposedly derived from the Latin Sanctus), and it wasn’t until afterwards that I thought about the Pink Dread (which never happened in this universe because Jace stopped Aegon). I guess Aemond really can’t escape the pig references in any universe 🐷.

Anyway, Aegon’s really lucky he didn’t get himself and baby Jace killed when he shoved their wagon down their stairs. And Jace not being cut by the Iron Throne is a sign, maybe??? 👀👀👀 And yes, there is much symbolism in little Aegon helping baby Jace climb up the throne 🥺.

#my writing #meta #house of the dragon meta #hotd meta #fanfic meta #aegon ii targaryen #female jacaerys velaryon #the golds

22 notes · View notes

therowdymagpie · 5 months

Text

The Main 6 as AJR songs(pt.1): The Click

A/N: I have no idea who is going to care about this, but character analysis through songs is one of my favourite activities and combining two of my biggest hyperfixations at the moment seems like a good way to combat seasonal depression so, enjoy this mini headcanon series.(spoiler for all routes of course)

Asra: Turning Out

youtube

Starting off, for Asra "Turning out" really strikes me as the song that could desrcibe how disoriented they must have felt during the first few months of the Apprentice's resurrection.

These two verses could just really be talking about Asra's feelings at the start where the Apprentice doesn't recognise them and the surprise of the ritual not working the way it was supposed to. All of the questions they could have asked themselves:

"Am I ready to be their lover or friend?"

"Do you have instructions?"

"Where do I go from here?" are all things they would be wondering about how to best approach this, how can they go back to the way they and the MC were before.

And of course the themes of unexpected or unrequited love that deviates from storybooks, pop up. This is NOT a fairytale, this is a very traumatic, very fragile situation Asra is in, where they aren't a normal couple with Mc, where this is really anything but a love story, actually slowly evolving more into a romantic tragedy as they don't know how to approach the Mc. Sometimes not even as a friend or lover but simply falling into the role of a "Master" or teacher.

Especially with this part, I can really see it as an entire internalised conversation in Asra's mind, with the version of MC they're familiar with.

Shouldn't they wait before they give up?

Don't they want to see the Mc get better?

Don't they want to wait and see if the Apprentice will love them again.?

And how everything is turning out in the end?

This is a song deep into the frustration and dissapointment coming out of a love you can't predict and at the same time a relationship you desperately want to make work exactly the way you want to, which works pretty well in this scenario.

Nadia: Burn The House Down

youtube

This song specifically i feel like fits Nadia SO MUCH. Aside from the political themes that are spread all around it, I really want to talk about lines like:

Knowing how Pre Red Plague Era, Nadia had this toned down role in Vesuvia, blending behind Lucio's shadow as nothing more than an observer, this would be her train of doubts about her potition and if she herself as a Countess can make actual difference to better the city. It's these doubts that held her behind in fear of people once again ignoring and sidestepping her, much like how in Prakra she felt a similar way with her family.

These doubts later on also follow her throughout her own route, when she has the chance to prove herself to her city and be the leader it deserves.

As well as:

Which just fits fits so much with the Courtiers situation and the corrupt polititians that overran Vesuvia while she was in her coma state. This also fits Lucio and how he was only parading the role of the Count while scheming, hiding, stricking deals while the only things he did for the city were to constanly keep up appearances and throw parties.

Overall the theme of stopping the circle of letting other people rule over your life and deciding to take charge and work WITH others to better the situation around you, whether political or not are all really resonating with Nadia. It's a great "pumping up" motivational song that describes her journey and personal growth as a Countess and a person.

Julian: Weak

youtube

(For those who know AJR or actually have heard this song: Come on.....what did you expect? XD)

The overarching theme of succumbing to your bad habits is LITERALLY indicative of Julian's whole route. How he resorts to drinking, punishing himself, overindulging in bad company and every other coping mechanism he uses are there in the lyrics:

Small mention to how "one kiss, bad for me" could very well refer to the apprentice and how he has to distance himself from them, but at the same time can't seem to be able to fully detatch. He's a wanted man, there is no way that getting involved in a romance that can never be isn't going to hurt him, right?

Especially i feel like this song fits him so well exactly because Julian KNOWS all this, he's said it himself:

Julian understands that he is ruining himself, that he is hurting others while doing it, that he should say no to the dark thougths in his mind and all the bad impulses BUT he also has convinced himself that he's not strong enough for that and keeps going back to the same bad habits.

In the end this is a party anthem and we know Julian to be a party person himself, so he hypes it up. "What's wrong with that?" as well as the whole mood of the song could very well be him actively trying to convince everyone and himself, that...he's "weak", it's just who he is and he can't change. That way he can push people away and scare them off with how " iredeemable" he is and how he's just going to keep making mistakes. All because he just doesn't want to take anyone down with him....

I also want to make quick reference to "Sober Up" and this lyric that's also giving strong Julian vibes with the MC helping him get out of his head.

Muriel: I'm not Famous

youtube

OK while this song doesn't melodically give me huuge Muriel vibes, the lyrics are thematical to his whole hermit situation.

This man put a magic curse ON HIMSELF that makes people forget that they even met him, except the people he gives something to remember him by, meaning the people closest to him.

Like literally Muriel never has to worry about people talking about him, where he lives, what he likes to do, what are his habits or bother him anymore and that's described here like his personal paradise.

Which honestly makes so much sense if you take into consideration what his past used to be like. The trauma he endured by being in the Colissium and having everyone watch the worst version of himself EVERY SINGLE DAY, definetely warrants seeing almost complete isolation as bliss.

(Also noone hates him, he's our gentle giant that deserves the world fandom-wise and he's adored by everyone who DOES know him in Vesuvia.)

Honestly i feel like this song could very well be Muriel's personal diss towards Lucio, which is very funny to think about:

Muriel is a hermit and yet he is more loved and acknoledged for who he is than Lucio will ever be (according to Muriel's route anyway). Lucio was loud, the main attraction for many, the centre of attention and yet people in the majority "judge" him and have seen all of his personal failures out on display because he chose to parade around trying to show that he was the best.

Muriel finds comfort in being unknown and has never been afraid to express that. He apprieciates the people in his life that matter which is exactly why this song fits this well.

Portia: Drama (/Turning Out)

youtube

Maybe i'm cheating with this one but I cannot talk about Portia without refering to both of these songs.

For starters, Drama: Now it's well known that Portia is an undisputed gossip queen. The woman has an entire map drawn out of secret passages scattered around the palace that STILL isn't fully finished, she knows the entire palace staff by name and she's not too unfamiliar about any street rumors or juicy stories. Point being: she goes around.

The song describes how we can become envolved to other people's drama and get caught up in their stories so much it's addicting.

Now regardless of what perspective we see Portia from, one thing is clear: She wants excitement out her life and to get to do adventurous things of her own. Unfortunately though, because of her obligations and role she is instead "addicted" to other people's stories and shines through others.

In every story except her own she is just there, observing, seeing what happens next and contributes as much as she can because she can't be fully a part of it herself.

Only in her own route does she get to actively be an important part of the story and the "Drama", getting out of the mindset of being a background character, take action and voice her opinions.

Tbh i haven't fully finished her route but so far i can at least understand this: Portia needs an opportunity to shine as her own person, and this song perfectly portrays that.

As for Turning Out, I just can't keep out of my head Portia saying these lines to Julian:

I think Portia was so genuinely hurt by Julian leaving her behind in Nevivon and telling him all this would just hit SO HARD, especially since she grew up with and I think really admired him. Nevemind the fact that she was very close to losing him again with the execution , which makes these lyrics sting all the more.

That and the themes of growing up and getting your head out of stories and fairytales you read really sounds perfect for her character.

Lucio: The Good Part

youtube

Well what can i say, The Good Part is loud, energetic but at the same time just so pensive, which fit pretty good on Lucio if you think about it.

The entirety of the song and lyrics keep referring to skipping to the best part of your life and keep wondering when that actually is. Lucio is a complex character which I love but so much is apparent about him: He wants to be respected and he wants power. The thing is he isn't always going to work too hard to achieve it.

His impentience as to when he'll be leader of his tribe is what drives him to the demon bargain that would make his parents sick and supposedly "skip" all of the proving himself as worthy of it and directly place him right on top. That behaviour later on continues with his deals with the Courtiers and then the Devil himself.

And then later on even when he actually becomes a Count he still keeps showing off, throwing over-the-top parties and trying to give all the best things to his court and people. He keeps trying to make every moment the "Good Part" of his life constanly thinking he can go even more respected and loved as a ruler, even seeking to overthrow the Devil in some routes.

Lucio for all his skills and passion lacks patience and the ability to think ahead, jumping into situations that will get him where he wants to be all the faster. The song doesn't wholly describe his motivations and personality but it definetely hits on that particular aspect of him.

ShoutOut to familial issues:

______________________________________________________________

Annnd that's it, hoping to continue in Pt.2.

P.S Please go and listen to AJR folks they have some really deep, heartbreaking and thought-provoking stuff.

18 notes · View notes