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homemoviess · 1 year

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What Did You Do, Sans?

♫ - What I’m currently listening to.

During yesterday's blackout at the resort, I decided to go through some of my old files on my phone, and I came across this unfinished story. It was written back on July 1st of 2020, and I wish I could give you a detailed explanation of what I planned for this one, but I genuinely do not remember. I know it technically has little to do with the current project, but I thought I’d share it with you.

There will be no post tomorrow since I’m heading back home, and even though I absolutely loved it here on the beach, I’m definitely excited to get back to the grind of everyday life. Well, until the next adventure.

I hope to show you my plans for scene three of chapter one on Monday—no later than Tuesday.

While you wait, please enjoy the below.

A call from an old friend was like a batch of lemonade from the neighborhood’s girl scout; it could be sweet, but it could also be a sour cup of water. There was a bit of surprise there, and with surprise came excitement. Sans liked to believe he was a skeleton seeking the latest thrill, but anyone who knew him knew that couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite that, Sans stretched, wiped his sleepy sockets, and answered his phone.

He bellied a deep, “Hello?” Still unsure of what to expect.

The voice on the other end was quiet for a long, painstakingly lengthy, minute, before letting out a shaken breath. There was thought put into the upcoming words, like this unknown individual had been reciting this speech for a long time. They prepared for it, wrote it down, and revised it a trillion times until they got it right. But now, like a child in the school play just stricken with stage fright, they froze and forgot their lines.

Sans wasn’t an intimidating guy, or at least that was his belief, so he’d figured he’d help break the ice. He’d cut the awkward tension rather than simply hang up—this was an old friend after all. “It’s been a while. I haven’t heard from ya since we all left the Underground.” That was a good conversation starter. He hoped they would take it.

There was more silence.

Sans pulled the phone from his ear cavity to look the number over one last time, to make sure he did, in fact, recognize it. This all could be a dumb prank call, and in that case, a waste of his precious nap time. The digits looked familiar enough. He had a knack for remembering little intricate details, but phone numbers had always been a hit or miss. “Well, if you’re not gonna say anything I better get going—“

“I-it has been a while. How are you?” Finally, a voice, and a voice he could identify. It was soft, warm as mother’s milk, and it was also a whisper. Perhaps she was at a library, a public bathroom, the DMV—and Stars knows that place wasn’t the loudest location in a strip mall. She had to be somewhere discrete since Sans could see no other reason to talk so low at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

“Good. But..uh are you alright?” He asked as he sat up on the couch.

The voice suddenly became self aware, clearing her throat before continuing. “Yeah! I’m fine. I was just hit with nostalgia and thought that maybe we could talk like old times?” Her tone got gradually louder the more she spoke. There was still this underlying oscillation, like she was putting up a joyous front, like she was wearing a mask. “You can share more puns, and we can swap stories, and maybe… maybe this is a bad idea. I’m sorry to disturb you.”

Sans quickly intervened before she could hang up. “No, no. wait! That actually sounds like a lot of fun. Tell me your address and I’ll come over.” He was tripping over himself to worm out of the wool throw to find a piece of paper to write on. The noise was making quite the commotion on the other end of the phone, he was sure. It sounded like a battlefield with the constant banging, crashing, and muffled cursing. Finally Sans was victorious as he gripped a capless pen in his palms.

“M-my address?” The voice stuttered after a moment of quiet debating.

“This is Toriel, right?” Sans wiped the sweat from his skull with his sleeve.

“It is.” She whispered again.

“If you don’t want to meet up at your house we can meet up at mine.” It then dawned on him that she might be uncomfortable alone with him. That made him frown. Looking back in his memory bank he couldn’t see why she would ever feel that way. They were good friends Underground, he’d argue best friends. Maybe. Maybe not.

But again, Sans wasn’t an intimidating guy. There was nothing to be afraid of.

“Or we can meet somewhere public if you’re scared I might bite,” Sans snickered to himself, intending the comment to be a joke.

Toriel didn’t laugh. “I’ll send my address. How about we meet in an hour?”

Before Sans had a moment to respond the phone clicked. She was gone. He looked at his device with wide sockets. A second later there was a ping and a message with an address. Nothing else. No, “sorry my phone turned off”, or “I didn’t mean to suddenly hang up on you.”

The whole conversation was strange, but maybe because their friendship left off on a strange note? One day things were normal, and the next Toriel refused to come to the Ruin doors for his daily dose of shitty jokes. He often wondered what he did to screw things up.

Now he could find out.

Sans knocked once, twice, thrice, then waited. He actually bothered to shower and change his dingy sweater for this special occasion. With a quick armpit sniff, and a swift adjusting of his T-shirt, he stood up straight. Often his spine would default to a slouch. It was almost a full C at this point. He swore he was developing quite the hunchback.

It took three minutes—three minutes he deliberately counted since he told himself he would leave by the fifth—before someone came to the door. There were footsteps at first, loud, barefooted steps, that stopped just short of the dark oak.

Silence again.

The constant silence was beginning to become unnerving. Sans instinctively backed up. Suddenly this felt like an ambush, like someone was waiting to snatch him up, and he’d never be seen again. Maybe that wasn’t Toriel on the phone? It would explain the odd behavior almost too well. He clenched his fists and prepared to shortcut out of there if need be.

The door unlocked and slowly creaked open.

It was dark inside the house. Sans could barely make out the window shining sunlight in a back room. At first he saw no one until a tuft of white fur peeked behind the door like a socket puppet springing from a cardboard stage. The rest of a delicate goat head followed shortly afterwards until Toriel’s whole body was revealed. She wore a strained smile, not exactly pleased to see Sans, but still welcoming him regardless. “You actually came?” She said in disbelief as if she hadn’t just invited him an hour ago. “...please come in.”

Her gaze fell, never quite making Sans sockets. The door was extended open, and she moved her body out of the way.

With his bony hands shoved in his pockets, he climbed the porch steps, hesitantly marched past a hanging swing set, and entered the dimly lit house.

The door shut behind him.

Sans blinked to allow his eyesight to adjust. The two of them simply stood near the door for a while, looking everywhere but at each other. It was awkward to say the least. “So, uh. You have a nice home.” He pointed at her pleasantly decorated, but with a touch of grandma’s house, furniture.

“Thank you.” Toriel gripped the front of her mom jeans. Her head remained low as she avoided Sans gaze. This felt less like a meeting between old friends, and more like a hostage situation. Did she not want to see him?

She was deliberately making things uncomfortable now.

The skeleton was inches away from confronting her. He swore he’d bug her to know what her deal was and why she suddenly cut off all contact with him. He held himself back, though. Maybe something else was happening in her life and she needed a temporary positive light. Maybe he’s meant to be said light.

There were pictures on the wall. Sans approached them and got a great big look. In each frame were fond memories of Toriel and a human child. “How’s the kid doing? Still being a little nuisance I’d imagine?” He chuckled. Still no reaction from his host. God, what a tough crowd to please.

“They are good. I made sure we were alone today, so you don’t have to worry.” Sans didn’t know why she felt the need to be alone with him, honestly he would’ve loved to see Frisk. He didn’t word his feelings. Of course he wouldn’t since he appeared to catch a bad case of the cottonmouth.

Toriel led Sans to the living room. There was a tray of tea on the coffee table in front of a floral sofa. She waited for Sans to take a seat before sitting on an opposite couch. “Tea?” She offered.

“Sure.” He leaned back in the lazy boy. It was pretty huge, a little too huge. He noticed more of the family photography, as well as a pair of large oxfords at the front door. The house looked far more lived in than his own, and definitely nothing about it screamed royalty. It wasn’t until he saw the golden ring on her finger did his suspicions get confirmed. “It’s nice to see you and Asgore are together again.”

Toriel immediately stopped pouring the tea. Her hands shook a little, spilling the hot liquid all over her paws. Sans shot up to help her clean up, but the minute he touched her, she jumped back. “We aren’t together...I’m deeply sorry. Please drink your tea.” Her smile was more painful than the burns under her ivory fur.

Sans took the mug and returned to his seat without another word just so he could avoid causing more conflict. He sipped his tea and watched as she very slowly wiped the mess. It was amazing how long it could take a person to complete such a basic task. Not that he had a leg to stand on, being extremely lazy and all.

Silence followed once more.

“I just came up with a fitting pun—“

“How are you so unbothered about being around me? It’s almost like what happened never did.” When Toriel finished with the spill she neatly folded the rag and placed it down on the tray. Her hands were still shaking, her head still hung low, and she still avoided looking at Sans.

Sans scratched the top of his head, totally confused. He had no idea what she was referencing. What happened? Is this hidden event the reason she dropped their friendship? Of course it was, but he had no idea what he did. Maybe he told too many bad jokes? Or missed too many of their talking sessions? He wanted to just flat out ask, but judging by her demeanor, he feared he would insult her for being unaware. So he tried to play along to fish out more information.

“You’re right. I should take it more seriously. I can’t believe I let it happen.” He responded very vaguely. He expected her to go into more detail, but instead she broke down into tears.

“Since then, all I wanted was an apology. Please, Sans. Can I have one?” She sobbed into her palms, her large chest jiggling with each shaken inhale, sniffle, eye rub. Sans was hypnotized by it. The goat woman’s breasts were nice and plump, squishy. The faint outline of her nipples poked out daring him to pinch them.

Sans downed his tea.

Staring at a woman’s tits as she cried her eyes out was so inappropriate. The fuck was he thinking?

“I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again, you have my word,” Sans placed his mug down to see Toriel staring at him. She looked like a shellshock animal, a deer in the headlights, aimless eyes honing in on his sockets. They stayed like this for a long moment, engaging in an eerie blinking contest, neither one of them wanted to be the first to break contact.

It took a loud thump from the ceiling to take Sans out of the trance.

He looked towards the stairs. It was far too dark to see anything beyond the fifth step. The house grew quiet again, white noise drowning in his skull.

“Sorry for what? You can’t be sincere if you don’t admit your faults,” Toriel pulled his attention back on her. Now the goat was a seat closer to him. Sans’ stomach started to gurgle, which was odd since he didn’t have a stomach. His head felt hazy.

“I’m sorry for offending—“

“No! Just say it! Why can’t you admit what you did to me?!? Did I mean that little to you?” Toriel started a new fit of tears. She cradled herself, rocking back and forth, weeping.

“What did I do? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sans grew nervous, terrified. He could sense the oncoming danger like the stillness before a twister. Another thump came from the upper floor, and this got Sans on his feet quicker than the speed of light. His head, his poor dome, was spinning. He was seeing doubles, triples, five different Toriels. Maybe he got up too fast? He wanted to believe he got up too fast.

Suddenly he was in the chair again and his friend was one seat closer.

“You really don’t remember? I’m not going to put the words in your mouth. Please, all I want is a proper apology.” She was now begging Sans to confess his crimes, crimes he did not commit. Crimes he wasn’t even aware of. “I can’t.. I can’t move,” Sans attempted to stand up, get out of this situation as soon as possible, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t shortcut. He couldn’t move his limbs. He was a living statue. A skeleton halfway buried in sand.

His facial ‘muscles’ worked, he could move his jaws, his sockets, his brow ridge, but that was about it.

Toriel was still crying to herself, now on the floor, continuously wiping at her eyes. “It’s temporary—“

“Why did you drug me? I didn’t do anything.” Sans would yell if he could, but now his voice came out low and flat. The thumping upstairs got louder. It got more frequent.

“I’m sorry...I’m just—he was so mad...I had to lie.” Toriel barely got anything out between trembling wails. Her explanation did little to answer the many raising questions in Sans’ head. The main one being who she was referring to and why he would be upset with her to the point of holding Sans hostage? Perhaps he already knew the answer to those questions. Perhaps he liked to pretend he was nothing more than an innocent party in this equation.

The thumping upstairs finally stopped. “I thought we were alone?” Obviously they weren’t, yet he still felt the need to point out more of her lies.

For the millionth time that day, the house grew silent.

Then footsteps came crashing down the stairs. Unable to move his head, Sans had to rely on Toriel’s reaction to know what was happening beyond his vision. She looked terrified as she quickly got to her feet. “Please don’t do this. I swear it wasn’t his fault.” Her panicked pleas were followed by a quiet quarrel.

A bead of sweat ran from his forehead as he tried to make out the other voice. They were whispering something. It was far too low to make out. Sans tried desperately to move, if not move, at least form some fraction of magic. There was nothing, like some unknown force was holding back his mojo.

Toriel returned to his line of vision. He could hear footsteps behind him, someone stopped, and then a large hand graced his skull. Sans held his breath. He didn’t know what to expect, so he expected the worst.

Would begging for his life be too pathetic? Would it even work? If he was going to die he’d rather not do it like a punk. “If you’re gonna kill me, kill—“ He was cut off by a hard blow to the back of his head. Sans was out cold in seconds.

The last thing he saw before the world faded to black was the crying face of Toriel.

Sans woke up to jiggling breasts. His head laid in a warm lap, the jugs rested on top of his forehead. It was like two pillows, two heavy clouds, and he wanted so badly to grope them. A perverted grin spread across his face as he tried to enjoy this wet dream of his.

Now to remove that top.

As Sans tried to reach up to cup a feel, the realization he wasn’t dreaming hit him harder than whatever blunt object whacked him unconscious. He was brought back into the moment, fear-ridden adrenaline pumping through him. He felt a draft brush his bones, and figured he was stripped naked. There was no telling for sure since he couldn’t move his head. There was a blanket over him. Whether it was to keep him warm, modest, or hidden mattered little when a foreign hand joined the picture. It rested above his rib cage, fuzzy and clawed.

“Looks like our guest is awake. Welcome back, JUDGE.” A deep voice vibrated throughout his bones. He didn’t need to see its ace to know who it was.

Toriel lied again. Shocker.

“Y-your Majesty, I’m innocent..I didn’t do anything—“ The hand gripped one of his rib bones. It was far too tight, aggressive, painful. Sans let out a sharp yelp, effectively cutting himself off.

“Enough of the lies. Why don’t you accept your punishment like a good little criminal!” Asgore poked his goat head out of the blankets. He didn’t look furious as much as amused. “Touching my Toriel is strictly forbidden.” Whether Asgore thought Sans helped Toriel “cheat”, or he assumed something heinous was done to her, it all became irrelevant. Sometimes hateful revenge didn’t need a logical reason. Sometimes an assumption was enough.

Or a lie.

Had he ever touched her? That was hard to do through stone doors.

“Your majesty, I—“ Sans was hauled into the air by the ribs. He was left suspended in Asgore’s grip, gasping, and trying not to dust under the goat’s strength.

“Remove your top, dear.” Asgore cooed. “He desired to play with your breasts before, so I'm sure the sight of them will excite him.”

The need to explain he was blameless was tempting for Sans, but he physically couldn’t breathe, so instead he shook his head. This wasn’t what the king thought it was, but as Sans was hovered from the couch and given a chance to see beneath the blankets, it was confirmed that he was naked.

And so was Asgore.

Toriel was hesitant to undress.

#fanfic #fanfiction #undertale fanfiction #sans x toriel #cliffhanger #suddenly asgore #cockblocking #sorry not sorry

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murfeelee · 3 years

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End of Year Collage - Best of 2020

Rules: Find your fave pics of your story or your blog in general and post them up in a collage! :D it can be 1 picture or 100 whatever you want. But just reflect on your fave moments in your story or on your blog. It can be cute moments or pictures you’re just really proud of.

I did this last year and decided to make one for 2020, to celebrate simming, the one source of joy I got out of this crapfest of a year.

I used the TumblrTop10 generator for my top CC uploads, which naturally get more traffic than my gameplay pics & photosets.

But I like giving a top 10 for my gameplay pics too, looking back at all my fave fandoms I incorporated into The Sims 3 throughout the year.

MY THOUGHTS (for each month) under the cut:

January: Skryim Werewolves

AAAAWWWOOOO~!

February: Voodoo & Necromancy

My theme for February was Voodoo and Necromancy. The irony doesn’t escape me that I had my best creative boost (focused on morbid/macabre themes), right before the pandemic hit.

March-April: Roaring 3020s Gameplay!

These 2 months were all about my futuristic-Asian-scifi-artdeco/nouveau save in Oasis Landing, where I give the backstory of how Sakura and Ryuu first met. I always describe Sakura as a faery from the future, and this is what I mean by that; she’s a jet-setting time-traveler. Y’all seemed to really like my posts of Sakura this month, particularly her arrival in Oasis Landing in March, and her One Four All challenge in April. But by far the post that got the most attention were my WIPs of Hotel Luck at the end of April, the headquarters of Ryuu’s best friend Lucky’s club.

May: Green Isle, and Malec’s Wedding!

May was totally dominated by my run-through of @crowkeeperthesimmer ‘s Green Isle (Beta) world. But the most emotionally driven gameplay pics I posted this month were actually from my Shadowhunters saves, where I finally got around to recreating Malec’s wedding, which I posted on their 1st year anniversary. ^_^ *blasts Ruelle*

June: Rainbows! 🌈

I started the month still gushing about how pretty Green Isle is, which was great, cuz it was Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈 Because the events of Summer 2020 were downright disgusting, I had Bartros & Nagron, and Gwynburn & Malec do community work in honor of LGBT+ and Black Lives Matter solidarity.

July: Bleach Gameplay starts!

I have been dying to start sharing my Bleach inspired gameplay for months. Bleach is one of my Top 5 fave anime, quite possibly even Top 3 (it’s tied with Attack on Titan). So I tried my best to do the anime justice in TS3, giving me recreation of Episode 1, when Ichigo Kurosaki becomes a shinigami. I plan on doing A LOT more; it’s just gonna take awhile.

August: Sakura & Ryuu in What? Magazine

Technically, my Sim Bin Collage Pt2 got the most notes this month, but that’s not really gameplay. Even though I posted a bunch of Dragon Age gameplay, people were far more interested in Sakura’s post, particularly my fake What Magazine post, where I trolled y’all with a tabloid spread of Sakura and Ryuu caught by the paps getting frisky in the park.

September: Dragon Retexture WIPs Pt2

According to the Chinese, 2020 is the Year of the Rat, but I was all the way in the Year of the Dragon, baby! #SquadGoals #BoyBandRealness (And I was back in Green Isle AGAIN, lol!)

October: Dragon Master

I love Simblreen, and the Halloween season; it always puts me in a creative mood. But the best inspiration I got this year was after my anime marathon binge of the Bleach spinoff, Burn the Witch, which gave me the idea to make dragons as functional magic broomsticks. I had the occult household from my Deathless gameplay test out all the CC I made for Simblreen. Everyone seemed to really like that, and I was so happy!

November: Shinto Shrine vs DA:I - Tevinter

Another classic example of the photosets I did the bare minimum on that get like twice the amount of notes as posts I’m insanely proud of. XD

I try to upload CC at least once a month, but I’ve had such low motivation this year that come November I was scrambling trying to think of something to make. Then TS4′s Snowy Escape EP came out and I was like BINGO. So I did all of that in a few days, really quickly, and cracked open my Moon Medicine save to test the CC & take pics. No big.

But I’ve been working hard on my Dragon Age INSP gameplay & pics for well over a YEAR, and I had been so excited to start posting my Tevinter gameplay with Dorian Pavus. That Blood Magic post got far less traction, but that’s like the best photoset I think I made all year. Crazy how Tumblr works. :\

December: A Bunch of Stuff Happened, Holy Cow!

First there was the Pinterest Challenge, which y’all really seemed to like. Then I did another installment of BrennaIvy’s Modern Male Project (which got the most notes for December). Then I did Magnus Bane’s birthday post for the Shadowhunters fandom, which is usually one of my more popular posts. But then I posted my WIPs of my Maximalism set, and y’all really REALLY liked that one, so basically I was so so happy this December! :D

__________________________________________________

Thank you everybody, followers, mutuals, lurkers, and all simmers who continue to support me and The Sims 3, and like my content!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

#sims 3 gameplay #simblr #the sims 3 #ts3 #murfeelee

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heclingmuzik · 3 years

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TIMELINE OF PAST AND CURRENT EVENTS

Some dates are inaccurate from the posted date and some don’t have dates, BUT I’ll be changing dates around just to fit her story a bit better and hopefully make sure things are more easier to understand. If I’ve forgotten to add any importantance between your muse and mine, please shoot me an IM!

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Arrived in Isola on January 24th, 2021.

Upon arrival these are things that Ismael has gone through

On her first day arriving, Spirale was covered in sheets of snow with diamond creatures and diamond anything that would block the way.

She was rescued by someone from those diamond yetis!

She found out that you can actually break diamond with diamond, and also FOUND KYRIE!

On January 26th, 2021

Curious about the hole, she decides to revisit it.

This is where she meets the unpleasantries of the shadowy figure. She never got his name, BUT that shadowy figure looking thing is the cause of her first death. He pushed her into the hole. to this day, no one knows. To this day, Kyrie does not know that Ismael has a tiny fear of heights now.

{CAN’T FIND DATE} Was hired to work at Lovelyloaves by Mizi

On February 21st, 2021 she joined Big Dipper Talent!

Ismael has met and befriended plenty of people!

On April 1st, 2021

Game time? It’s weird and Ismael still doesn’t entirely understand what was going on, but it was fun. On her birthday, as part of the game, Ismael and Kyrie went diving....from the sky. Certainly a big step in that little fear of her’s!

She got a present afterwards! She hasn’t taken them off since!

She met someone shortly after. Nero.

He’s looking for a way out, and despite hearing that it is impossible he seems extremely hellbent in returning home. Says he’s got someone waiting for him. Someone waiting for him shares the same name as her friend Kyrie. WHAT are the odds, huh! She has been searching for answers since to help aid him in this quest.

On April 6-20, 2021

On her way in search for parts for Nero, she decides to expand her searching by going to Yesteryear, attempt at Mistwood, and going through Fibonacci’s Shadier sides.

April 6 - In Yesteryear, she didn’t find anything, but instead met a man with a strange looking bird. Is it a crow or a raven? She still doesn’t know, but she’s beginning to think the bird is....pretty cool.

April 10 - In Mistwood she didn’t even go in to check it out. This place will have to wait until she’s either with someone who can get them out in a pinch or just...when she feels she’s ready. Badou says there’s Deatheater? Deadeaters? Whatever the fuck. She’s not about to be eaten by no eatereaters.

April 18 (Afternoon close to Eveningish) - Ismael tells Nero she wants to fight alongside him when he brings up that he might actually have to change his plan a bit. Says he’ll have to face the Stars first in order to prevent being brought back here. He won’t let her fight and that upsets her. They have a small argument about it. She’ll have to check up on him. Make sure he got home safe and make sure he’s okay.

April 18 (Nighttime) - Ismael miscalculated the time and got overly cocky. If that’s what you can call it. She got stuck in the crowd and was rescued by a rather tall and scary man. He showed kindness, despite her screaming and lashing out because of fear. Same man decided to show her who he truly is by taking her to some building.

IN an attempt to save the three men that were unlucky enough to meet Yamazaki in the same building for some shady business???? Ismael may have failed and may have actually been the result in them dying.

During the time she is captured and held captive, forced to watch whatever unfolds before her eyes with Yamazaki and these poor unfortunate men, Nero sends in a text about finding someone who is willing to make his arm. She’s unable to get to the message until 2 days after in the evening.

On April 21st, 2021

She finally steps out of her lone house to finally go grocery shopping that she’s been trying to avoid for the past couple of days since she got back from that night. A lot of stuff that she’d suppose to get done neglected.

In her attempt to be quick, in and out of grocery store, she meets Grimm. Someone she’s spent a lot of time with talking about music, playing, and listening. .....If Grimm can see that something is wrong.... She’s really going to have to avoid seeing everyone else.

On April 24th, 2021

It’s proving difficult to be at the house, let alone just the ward entirely. She used to actually enjoy being in Fibonnaci. Some of the people there are nice, but...Well, now she just wants out. No where is technically safe, but man, she really wants out of Fibonacci.

She’s been crashing at....one of the Branches. Yesteryear is one of them. She’s beenn sleeping outside in her makeshift camp for a little over two days. She will stop by her home to get more supplies and the things she needs, but only then.

She’s more than likely going to check with the Stars. See if they will let her move houses.

She wants to ask the stars to move her, but again, the thought of ‘nowhere is really safe’ lingers at the back of her mind. She can move anywhere in the Wards or branches if that’s the case, but....HE will be there....Even if he isn’t.

On April 27th, 2021

Ismael finally gaining the courage after talking to Dune, decides to text Grimm and Nero.

She tells them what happened that night with Yamazaki. She’s not ready to talk to Kyrie about the event and isn’t quite sure when she will be ready.

Currently she is crashing at Grimm’s. Occasionally will crash at Nero’s, because she doesn’t want to just burden the one. Sometimes, she’ll be outside, in one of the branches. Sometimes she’ll tell the two where she’s going and other times she will not.

Kyrie remains to be in the dark about the whole situation, as through text, Ismael can pretend that everything IS fine to a perfect T.

On April 30th, 2021

She hits V up in hopes that he and his friend would be available to help her with a task. She’s been working on her archery skill and decided that in order to work on the small fear of heights, she’d pick up parkouring. Makes sense, right? Let’s see how this all goes.

On May 1, 2021

Ismael was once again debating on if she should venture into Mistwood or not. Only this time, instead of it being Badou to stop her in her tracks, it is none other than V. Where did he even come from? And will she ever actually check the woods out?

Don’t remember exact date

Ismael’s purchase of her Bow and fire elemental fragmentation were delivered to her. She’s been practicing more often. She also received her hoverboard as well.

On May 2nd, 2021

Ismael has once again come across Yamazaki. This time nothing happened and weirdly enough, it...was as if he was trying to help her get rid of that fear? Too bad he’s extremely unpredictable and what’s done is done. Though, she can’t deny that she hopes that ONE day she can actually look at him without fearing. That one day she can say his name without the memories of what happened...Or even if the memories are still there, she’s able to hold her ground and stay strong.

Until then, she’s practicing. She’s working on bettering herself, strengthen herself both mentally, emotionally, and physically.

She is getting a little better. Still nightmares plague her during the night, but she’s able to talk about what happened. May not be in full details, but it’s enough to understand ‘ah, so that’s what Ismael went through.’

Trying to face her fears is a lot harder than she thought. BUT she’s working on it. She’s hoping that even through fear she will be brave.

And every day, Ismael is reminded that she does have people here who cares for her and her them. It just makes these little horrible moments just a tad bit more bearable. She has so many people to thank!

And yes, this very same day she’s made her way into the woods. It may have been because she wasn’t thinking where she was running until it was too late. Whoops. Here, she’s met Mew. The pink cat that Nero helped.

On May 4th, 2021

Ismael decides to ask Nero a favor. She asks him if he would be okay in going to that building where she had been held captive and check for those bodies that she had left behind.

Nero ended up sent to the hospital when an unexpected turn of event led him and another guy there.

She feels guilt and blames herself for Nero’s injuries.

At the hospital on the same day while waiting for Nero, she meets Yamazaki again.

On May 8th, 2021

Ismael takes Nero’s words to heart from before when he got injured. When they were at the park he had said something along the lines of not holding something from someone. That being honest was more better. She decides to tell Kyrie of the things that she had suffered through.

Ismael is significantly getting better at not just archery, but handling things that has been happening in her life. The nightmares are still there. Sometime she catches herself in tears when she wakes, or a yelp in the middle of her sleep. Still, Ismael is doing her best!

On June 4th, 2021

There was an art museum that Ismael decided to attend to. Upon seeing a portrait, she finds out from Kyrie that the art is Yaira.

That very same day, everything in the museum comes to life and starts attacking people, including there being monsters added onto the chaos.

Ismael does not make it through. She ends up being injured fairly badly and passes away from said injury by the very hands of Yaira (an evil portrait.)

In the moment of her passing, she gets to meet Yaira (The good portrait that Kyrie made.)

On July 10th, 2021

Ismael undergoes a extremely life-changing situation. The stars manages to throw Ismael back into her world but reverse time with Ismael’s memories of Isola intact and was told that she’d remember bits and pieces and the more she continued onward the more memories she’d remember.

With the option to leave at any time, Ismael continued through her memory to the end and found out that Yaira was her sister all along.

Currently Ismael suffers from guilt, anger, self-hate, and so much more. She hasn’t been taking care of herself but still continues on with music, training, and her faith....If only to try and push through.

On July 21st

Ismael decides to contact Kyrie after a few days of just sending them texts to ask them about Yaira. She has a lot of questions and hopes that Kyrie can help her with them. She’s not entirely sure how she’s going to take any information if it turns out that Kyrie knew something and kept it from her.

MORE TO BE ADDED

will be updated accordingly!

#tw kidnapping #Tw #Trigger warning #Tw death ention #Tw Murder mention #long post #Timeline

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hellyeahheroes · 4 years

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Building Rikki Barnes in D&D 5e

I will confess something. lately D&D has been a kind of comfort hobby for me, in wake of all this fucking madness around us that is this year. This includes these builds but also my campaign that I just wrapped up and before I kick off with a sequel I felt like doing some celebration with blog-related content. So I decided - let’s build a character I planned to build on Pride Month but didn’t manage to. One funky, gun-toting, shield-wielding, dimension-hopping immortal lesbian.

As always, credit to Tulok the Barbarian from whom I lifted the teamplate for those builds and like him we will start with Goals for the build. First of all, we need to fight like someone who studied under not one, not two but dozens of Captain Americas across the worlds. Second, we need to have knowledge and skills like someone who lived all kinds of lives, picking up all she learned along the way. Finally, we need to be able to use both shield and a gun in accord.

For Ability Scores we will stick to Standard Points Array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8 - but if you want to roll, use points buy or other form of generating abilitty scores, go ahead and treat these as guidelines. Keep your Charisma and either Strength or Desterity at at least 13 for multiclassing purposes.

Strength: 15, say it after me RIKKI. IS. BUFF!

Dexterity: 14, your armor varied from short-shorts to what would pass for a leather armor and you have no problem jumping from one rooftop to another to catch-up with your Spider-Girlfriend.

Constitution: 12, you’re not as tough as Toro, but you can still take a hit.

Intelligence: 10, wish it was higher but we cannot have everything

Wisdom: 8,remember that time you didn’t recognize main universe counterpart of your brother is into you and didn’t recognize guy replacing Steve as Cap is your own grandfather?

Charisma: 13, say what you want but Rikki knows how to pick up girls.

Race: Rikki is a human, we will stick with Varian Human because we need a feat but Revenant Human could work as well if you want to go into technicalities about her ressurections. Variant Humans get +1 to two Abilitty Scores, boost up Strength and Dexterity, a bonus Skill, pick History and a feat. Pick a Soldier for a background since this is closest we get to “trained by most American American to ever American and reborn across the multiverse to do it again”. It gives you proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation, land vehicles if you want to borrow grandpa’s bike and a gaming set. Military Rank feature let’s you be recognzied as a fellow veteran by other soldiers who may be more letient to your requests. You lead two superhero teams so that adds up.

Shield Master will be our feat of chocie and we need to talk about it because it gives you not one but three fun features:

It let’s you add a bonus from your Shield to your Armor Class to any saving throws against spells and other harmful effects as long as they target only you. The way it is written means you could technically cover your eyes with shield when someone tries to hypnotize you, which is very much how I imagine members of Captain America Family (Cap Family?) dealing with mind-control.

If you take an attack action on your turn, you can use your bonus action to try to shove a creature within 5 feet from you with your shield. Shoving is normally an action that forces the target, say Bob Agent of Hydra, to make Athletics or Acrobatics check against your Athletics. If Bob fails (and he will because it’s Bob), he is either pushed 5 feet away from you or knocked prone. Maybe that will make him realize he needs a better job than fucking nazis.

It also let’s you use your reaction to cover with your shield if you are subjected to an effect that demands you make a saving throw to take half damage or full damage if you don’t, like for example FUCKING FIREBALL. With your shield up if you do make that saving throw you’ll take no damage. This is a bit weaker version of Evasion, a feature Rogues and Monks get at 7th level. Meaning that you will spend that many levels making them horribly jealous.

Speaking of Rogues, guess what we’re NOT picking for out Class. Instead we go with...

1st Level: Fighter! You gain proficiency with all Armors, shields, simple and martial weapons, Strength and Constitution saving throws, and two skills, I’d go with Acrobathics and Perception. You gain Second Wind, letting you recover as a bonus action 1d10+your fighter level of HP. Rikki is determined enough to chase the Maker across worlds and hit points can reflect will to fight.

You also get fighting style - unarmed Fighting lets you deal 1d6+your Strength modifier on your Unarmed Attacks, 1d8 if you use both hands (or do a dropkick I pressume) and if you grapple a creature, you can deal 1d4 damage when you innitiate it succesfull and then on future hits while grappling.

2nd Level: Fighter gets Action Surge, letting you once per short or long rest take an extra action during your turn.

3rd Level: Fighter gets to chosoe a Martial Archetype: Battle Master gainst a proficiency with Artisan’s tool of your choice but moe importantly, gains Combat Superiority. You Gain 3 Maneuvers that are fueled by your Superiority Dice - which at this level are 4 d8s. When you use a Maneuver you spend Superiority Dice, you get them back after a short or long rest. If those effects ask for a saving throw, it must beat 8 Your Proficiency Bonus + either your Strength or Dexterity modifier.

Bait and Switch let’s you switch places with an ally within 5 feets of you without provoking Opportunitty Attacks and until the start of your next turn that ally adds result of your Superiority Dice roll to their Armor Class. Julie power can overextend herself easily, this will keep her safe.

Sweeping Attack let’s spend one Superiorirty die when you hit an opponnent in meele to try to also hit another one within 5 feet of it - if the original attack roll was high enough to beat its AC you deal it damage equal your roll on Superiority Dice. So when ypu kick Red Skull you can also carry your kick toreach Crossbones as well, breaking two jaws with your heel in one strike.

Brace let’s you spend your reaction to attack a target that moves within 5 feet of you and add result to the damage if you hit. So if Sif tries to rush to help her father, you will deck her in the face without even having to look.

4th Level: Firghter gets an Abilitty Score Improvement or a Feat. We will pick Gunner from newest Unearthed Arcana for Feats. it let’s you add +1 to your Dexterity, gives you profficiency with firearms and let’s you ignore their loading quality, letting you shoot a gun for each of your attacks for a single turn and you don’t have disadvantage on an attack if you shoot a target within 5 feet of you..

Alternatives: Not every DM allows firearms in their setting. If that is the case the Crossbow Expert will do roughly the same for you. If you don’t like idea of Rikki with guns at all, then Crusher from the same Unearthed Arcana will let you push any target you hit with your fist and make attacks against them have an advantage for a turn whenever you crit on an attack. Martial Adept meanwhile can let you learn two more maneuvers and gain an extra Superiority Dice.

5th Level: Fighter can now attack twice on each turn attack action. Meaning You can in one turn roundhouse kicks Red Skull, use sweeping attack to carry that kick over to Crossbones, shoot Anirm Zola, knock Bob to the ground and use another Superiority Dice to deck Sin in the face if she comes to help her daddy on her turn. And that’s without using Action Surge and last Superiority Dice.

6th Level: Fighter gains another Abilitty Score Improvement. And you know what? Boost up your Strength.

7th Level: We have combat skills but what about other Skills? We can grab an extra one, like Stealth, by picking up a level of Bard. 1st Level Bards gain Bardic Inspiration, a set of 3 d6 dices you can give to your allies as a bonus action, letting them add it to an attack roll or a saving throw.

You also learn Bardic spells. You know a small number of those and spend spell slots to cast them. If your spell makes an attack roll, it does so with a bonus equal your Profficiency Bonus + Your Charisma modifier. Add to that bonus 8 and you get a number that has to be beaten if your spell reqires a saving throw.

You start knowing 2 Cantrips that you can always cast and 4 1st level Spells and have 2 1st level Spell Slots

Light is a flashlight you can use to make an object shine bright light in 30 feet and dim light in next 30 feet. Useful since you cannot see in the dark

Message is a communicator, letting you send a short message to another creature and be able to receive equally short reply

Comprehend Languages let’s you understand any language you hear for 1 hour. Rikki lived many lives, she likely picked a few.

Heroism you can cast on yourself to show how brave you are or on an ally, cherring them up. until the spell ends the target has an advantage on saving throwsagainst being frightened and gains an extra temporary hit point at the start of each of your turns.

Identify let’s you use your vast knowledge of other worlds to recognize legendary or jsut enchanted effects or what spells are affecting a creature or an object. After all, you have seen it all.

Cure Wounds is a first aid kit, healing 1d8+1 hit points on you or another target

8th Level: 2nd Level Bards gain Jack of All Trades, letting you add half of your Proficiency modifier to all skills you are not profficient with. You also get Song of Rest, letting you let your commrades roll an extra 1d6 whenever tehy roll to regain hit points - as a soldier of many Battlefields makes sense you will be tending the wounds of your allies and rising their spirits between battles. You also get another spell known but we will exchange it for something else on next level.

9th Level: Bards of 3rd Level can pick bardic College. College of lore lets you gain 3 more Skills. Survival, Investigation and Insight feel msot in character. You also get Expertise, doubling your Proficiency Bonus, in two skills of your choice that you are profficient with, I’d go with Athletics to make sure you knock down all opponnents, and Stealth. Finally you learn cutting words - you can use your reaction and spend one of your Bardic Inspiration dices to say some bit of multiversal knowledge that distracts an enemy - you roll that dice and subtract the result from one attack roll or saving throw an enemy makes.

You also learn more spells, letting us to pick two 2nd level spells:

See Invisibility let’s you see invisible creatures and those on Etherial Plane like Ghosts or Phase Spiders. Play it as you being so experienced you learned to see such creatures coming.

Enchance Abilitty let’s you gain or grant someone else an advantage on all rolls related to choosen Abilitty. When you need an extra show of skill.

10th Level: 4th Level bards gain an Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost your Dexterity for more accurate guns and better AC. You also learn one more Spell and a new Cantrip:

Vicious Mockery forces a target to make a Wisdom saving throw or be dealt 2d4 psychic damage from your quip and have disadvantage on its next attack roll Knock let’s you open a single lock, be it on doors or containers.

11th Level: back to Fighter. 7th Level Battlemaster gains an addition Superiority Dice, Two more Maneuvers and can Know Your Enemy - if you study a creature for at least a minute you will learn if it is your superior, inferior or equal in any of the two: Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score, Armor Class, Current hit points,Total class levels, if any or Fighter class levels, if any. Use it if you run into a black-clad silent Bat0themed girl from another dimension and btw Marvel, Dc I would pay gold for this fight to happen.

Our new Maneuvers will be:

Disarming Attack let’s you add a superiority dice roll to damage roll of your attack and force target to make a Strength saving throw or drop whatever they’re holding at the moment. Works with ranged attacks meaning you can shoot Cosmic Cube out of Red Skull’s hands.

Ambush let’s you spend a Superiority Dice to add the roll of it to a Stealth or Initiative roll

12th Level: 8th Level Fighter gains an Abilitty Score Improvement, get your Strength to 20 for better hits and better showing down the enemies.

13th Level: 9th Level Fighter gains Indomintable, letting you once per long rest reroll a failed saving throw. Including Death Saving Throws.

14th Level: 10th Levle Battlemaster improves their superiority dice to 1d10 and gains two more Maneuvers.

Riposte let’s you make an attack when a creature misses you with a meele attack you can use your reaction to make one attack against them and add roll of Superiority Dice to the damage.

Meanicing Attack let’s you spend a superiority dice to add it’s roll to damage dealt to a target and force them to make a Wisdom saving throw or be Frightened of you until end of your next turn.

15th Level; 11th Level Fighter can now make two extra attacks on each of attack actions. Meaning you can with Action Surge and your maneuvers shoot cosmic cube out of Red Skull’s hands, shoot Anirm Zola and Baron Zemo so hard the latter will not approach you out of fear, deliver roundhouse kick to Skull so hard you hit Crossbones too, knock down Bob and deck Sin in the jaw when she rushes to help her father.

16th Level: 12th Level Fighter gains an Ability Score Improvement, round up your Dexterity to 20 for better AC and more acurrate guns.

17th Level: 13th Level Fighter can use Indomintable twice per long rest. Meaning you are that much harder to kill and that more likely to survive fireballs from Onslaught.

18th Level: 14th Level Fighter gets another Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost up your Constitution for Better Concentration and mroe hit points (remember they add retroactively, giving you extra 18 HP at this level)

19th Level: 15th Level Battlemaster means two mroe maneuvers, one mroe Superiority Dice and now if you roll initiative on combat without any you regain one.

Rally lets you roll a Superiority Dice whenever you hit on an attack to give it’s result + your Charisma modifier as temporary hit points to another creature until end of your next turn.

Goading Attack also adds roll from Superiority Dice to damage dealt on attack and if Target fails a Wisdom saving throw, it has disadvantage on attacks against any other creature than you until end of your next turn. You know, i ncase Maker plans to blow you all up, make him punch you instead.

20th Level; We will finish with 16th Level of Fighter for one last Ability Score Improvement, investing either in Constitution for better hit points, or Charisma for better healing. Or picking a Tough feat to gain extra 40 hit points, which would be my preferred option.

Overview: My take on Rikki barnes is Battlemaster Fighter 16, College of Lore Bard 4. Let’s see how good this build is:

Pros: You can make a lot of attacks, making you excellent agaisnt crowds of mooks like Goblins or Hydra Agents. You have an answer for a lot of things an opponnent may do and several ways to control the battlefield to your advantage. You can also double as a skill-monkey, being skilled in enough things to make Rogue jealous. In fact, you basically are a discount Rogue, able to fill in for a lot of things Rogue would normally do. And you can heal too.If you have focused on your Constintution at the end you will also have pretty strong HP, maybe even up to 160-180 and with Shield Master or Indomintable it will be hard to hurt you as well.

Cons: Sadly, a lot of your abilitties compete for Bonus Action or Reaction, meaning you need to carefully consider what you will use each turn. You do nbot deal magic damage so a lot of late game enemeis will be resistant or immune to your hits un;ess DM gives you a magic gun. Finally, there is a big possibility you will burn out of your Superiority Dice early on, leaving you without many options later.

But you are still a valuable part of any team. Protect your allies, give them opennings to strike. Knock Bob down. Break Red Skull’s jaw. Just remember you need to rely on your teammates to survive - unless you want to be reborn in a different campaign.

-Admin

#Nomad #bucky #Rikki barnes #Dungeons & Dragons #Marvel

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sooghostwriter · 5 years

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Iliada

Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC

Genre: Mature, Romance, AU, action, Bad guys and secret agents, smut baby!

Warnings: Kyung Soo is not a good guy, mention of violence, bad language.

Summary: After a long and hard assignment, Yoon Suji is sent to a new mission that involves less violence but needs a lot of acting. Do Kyung Soo has one of the biggest drugs rings in South Korea, but police haven’t been able to get him. They need proof that he is the one in charge and Suji is the one sent to get them.

She has the freedom to decide how is she going to get his trust.

Chapter 12

June 29th to June 31th

Baekhyun saw how the people started to get inside the courtroom. 99% of them were journalists.

Since the day Kyung Soo was put under custody, newspapers, magazines and TV stations have had a feast. Half of the news were lies, but still, everyone was talking about it. Especially when every well-known customer that Kyung Soo had was visited by the police. Baekhyun saw all that with pleasure, Kyung Soo too. Although the busted buyers tried to make it look like a lie, Kyung Soo had saved every single transaction, he even had videos and tapes. They wouldn’t be able to run away from this one.

Once everybody was on their seats, Kyung Soo was brought inside the room, escorted by two police officers and with handcuffs on his wrists. He smiled at Baekhyun and sat next to him, nudging his friend's shoulder with his.

The doors of the room were closed, Kyung Soo looked around, wishing to see someone.

“She said it would be bad if she came here,” Said his friend. He nodded and focused his stare on the judge, who was organizing his papers, ready to start. The accusers stated their charges, it took them an hour and a half to finish showing all the evidence. Finally, the judge looked at Baekhyun.

“Now the defense can state their records” Said the judge, taking off his glasses, picking up his pencil, ready to write.

“Thanks your honor, from the defense side, we accept all counts and my client declares himself guilty of all charges…thank you” There was a long second of silence and then the entire room exploded in loud whispers. The prosecutor, the judge, and the jury were in shock. Baekhyun and Kyung Soo kept still on their seats, he saw how his friend was fighting against the need to laugh, at least smile, so Baekhyun hit his leg under the table, telling him to contain himself. The prosecutor stared at both of them in obvious annoyance.

“Silence, silence everyone. We will take a recess, and we will resume in one hour” Everyone stood from their chairs, except for Baekhyun and Kyung Soo.

“So this is it?” Kyung Soo asked his friend.

“Now they will deliberate your sentence, so we have to wait, let's get some coffee or water” Baekhyun helped his friend to get up from his chair and followed him and the two police officers to the waiting room.

Baekhyun was amazed by how Kyung Soo and the two police officers spoke in friendly terms. Kyung Soo didn’t ask anything, they had already talked about any possible scenario and he was ready for all of them. The hour passed quickly, but not quickly enough, at least for Baekhyun. Saying that his friend was guilty was the last thing he wanted to say, but it was the best option for Kyung Soo.

They were called back to the room, Baekhyun got up with Kyung Soo, patted his shoulder and walked next to him. The prosecutor was sitting on his chair already, and the judge arrived a minute later “The court was unable to access to all the data presented by the demandant, but considering the defense argument, the court finds no reason to postpone the trial. Now I will continue to deliver the sentence. Do Kyung Soo is found guilty and is sentenced to 20 years in prison for the charges of drug trafficking, illegal sale of narcotics and blackmailing” The judge kept talking, saying technicalities, but Baekhyun and Kyung Soo weren’t listening anymore.

Baekhyun looked at his friend and held his stare for a long while. They knew this would happen, but that didn’t make it easier.

Baekhyun couldn’t close his eyes that night. He bid goodbye to Kyung Soo at 9, then went home, drank a beer and then laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Kyung Soo’s situation was sealed. 20 years. With the right to be eligible for a sentence reduction, after 5 years of confinement. If he behaves well.

For now, his job was done.

Baekhyun woke up with the sound of his phone. It was his assistant telling him to check out the newspaper, they had new information about Kyung Soo.

“New information? I know everything there is to know about the case”

“No Mister Byun, there’s new information about him, about his family. Frontpage of today’s newspaper, Do’s parents killed by a supreme court judge, and it’s a two pages spread on what the police did to hide it, how they passed over any intent of Kyung Soo’s family to clear the issue, and how they made out evidence so it looked like an accident, as fake records and fake autopsies” Baekhyun got up from bed and ran outside his house to pick up the newspaper from the mailbox. And there it was. With big bold letters and a picture of the judge that killed Kyung Soo’s parents, he could never forget that face. Baekhyun sat at the entrance of his house and began reading.

“Who did this?” Asked Kyung Soo with his eyes wide open, holding the newspaper close to his face.

"The writer talks about a source from inside the police. You know who could have done it?"

"Well, I know people inside the police but right now they are in the same position I am and they didn't know about my parents...but wait, there’s someone who could have done this" Baekhyun looked at Kyung Soo reading his mind. He went out of the room and dialed her number.

"Yeah, I did it with the help of a colleague" Baekhyun was speechless.

"I refuse to let that issue go without showing the truth, we found all the evidence and we are showing it. Kyung Soo was a victim of abuse of power by the police, and maybe he took vengeance, but I didn't. Now, the memory of that judge is tainted by the truth"

"This is amazing" Suji muttered something similar to a thank you.

"Baekhyun...how is Kyung Soo?" He smiled at the tone of her voice. Those two idiots, he thought.

"Calm, in three days he will be transferred to the Somang Correctional center …but he is very happy with this, I can tell you that much, you cleaned the memory of his parents" Her serious tone was back.

"I’m not going to say it’s the least I could do because it’s not, I can do more, but not yet" Baekhyun remained silent for a while, with a peaceful smile.

"No one suspects you at work?"

"No, Kyung Soo is a closed case, no one cares anymore"

"That’s very nice of them, then when are you going to be able to see him?" He was left with the dial tone of the phone. She had hung up.

Baekhyun had already finished signing some papers regarding Kyung Soo’s case, and he was mentally tired, so to relax his head, he turned on the kitchen television and prepared himself a cup of ramen. In the news, they were talking about Kyung Soo’s news.

"In Do we can clearly see a victim of this country’s dark and rotten high powers, people who believe they are superior. And what he did was a response to them, saying, you screw me, I screw you, and that is what we need in society, a man who has no fear, who makes the high powers pay" Baekhyun turned off the TV with a big smile on his face. Since that newspaper saw the light, people started to see Kyung Soo as some kind of Robin Hood, a brave member of society taking what belongs to him. Baekhyun didn't tell his friend about this new Do Kyung Soo fever, because he could feel quite annoyed. But he enjoyed how people stopped judging him.

Maybe that was one of Suji’s goals too, to clean her boyfriend’s name as much as she could.

From July 1st to July 31st

July 1st

Minseok pulled Suji in a tight hug when he saw her walk outside Chanyeol’s office. She answered the hug and giggled against Minseok’s chest, feeling like a little girl. Minseok pulled her away, and looked at her as if checking if all her parts were intact.

"Meanwhile I was in America I heard about Do’s case, congratulations" Suji hid the pain that went through her body.

"Thanks, it took a while but is finally over"

"You look different” "

“I feel different, I feel like I softened a little bit. I was so full of rage and so angry towards everything. I was cold and overly analytic. Now I feel...lighter" Minseok only smiled at her.

"And that’s good?"

"Very good, you know how boss used to call it, superwoman complex, he always complained that I didn't take enough care of my life, that I was too open to be murdered? Well, now I’m not" Minseok walked next to her and grabbed her arm pulling her with him.

"Come on, let’s go talk with Junmyeon, he has a new mission for us I think" Minseok was glad to hear her talk like that, and didn’t question why she had changed.

July 15th to July 16th

Baekhyun followed the indications that the GPS was giving him and with little problem he reached Suji’s house. He called her telling he was already there and he saw her walking outside her apartment on the second floor. He waved at her and climbed the stairs in a hurry. Suji held the door open and followed him inside her house. He looked around feeling a bit weird. The house was almost empty, the kitchen was clean, but it lacked some decoration and the living room had only a couch and a TV. Suji could read in his face what he was thinking.

“I come here only to sleep, I don’t need anything else"

"It's alright, I was just...surprised" She invited him to sit at a small table in the kitchen and offered him something to drink. He waited for his coffee in silence.

"Are you still mad at me Baekhyun?"

"Nah! I read the report you wrote. You went very easy on him and hard with the rest, thanks to that the sentence was less than I expected, I also heard that they asked you to testify against him"

"Yeah, the prosecutor asked me to. I told him to go fuck himself" He giggled, sipping from his mug. The prosecutor had told him that much.

Suji prepared herself a coffee too and once it was ready, she sat in front of Baekhyun, staring at him very seriously.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" She leaned across the table and started talking in a low voice.

"Next week I’m leaving for India on a new mission. I will be back in two months, in the meantime, I need you to take care of this" Suji passed him a key with a number engraved on it.

"What is this?"

"Is the key to the deposit where I hid Kyung Soo's possessions. I couldn’t keep them with me here, it wasn’t safe. The journals, books and some belongings are there" Baekhyun nodded, grabbed the key and saved inside his wallet.

"There's another thing I need you to do for me" Suji only continued once Baekhyun agreed to help her.

"Inside the deposit there's a box that says books, Inside there's a new copy of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde, I need you to give it to Kyung Soo"

"A book?" Suji gave him a single nod. Baekhyun was wondering if she would visit Kyung Soo before leaving, but that wasn’t on her plans apparently.

"You are not going to visit him?"

“I can't do that yet, and don’t give me that look, I want to see him, I miss him so much, but I can't do that" He believed her, he couldn’t understand her, but he believed her.

≠

Kyung Soo walked to the room arranged for visits followed by two guards. They kept a light conversation with him, telling him different things they heard about him in the news.

"Kyung Soo, the general opinion is that you are a victim"

"Really?" Both guards hummed their answers and opened the door for him.

His heart stopped for a second. For the last 2 weeks he was constantly visited by Baekhyun, and he knew that it would be the only visit he would get for a while. But each time he left his cell, deep inside he wished that this time the person waiting for him at the visit room was Suji.

But it never was.

And today again, it wasn’t her, it was Baekhyun.

“I met with your girlfriend" He said even before saying hi. Kyung Soo didn't know what to say, so Baekhyun told him what he wanted to hear.

“I visited her at her house. She wanted to give me the key of the storage where she keeps your things because she is leaving to India for a mission for two months" Kyung Soo looked a bit taken aback.

"She is leaving" He nodded and gave him some more time. Kyung Soo stared at his hands and tried to dissipate the worry. He knew this would happen, but that didn't stop him from being bothered. Suji had marks all over her body, which indicated that her job was far away from being safe.But now he could do nothing to stop her.

"What did she say?"

"She sent you this" Baekhyun gave his friend a small copy of the Robert Louis Stevenson book. Kyung Soo didn't recognize it as his book, it was a new edition. He looked at the first page, hoping to find a short and stoic speech, but he found nothing. Not a single note. Swallowing the disappointment, he took the book and bid goodbye to his friend, ready to go to his room.

July 24th

The first three weeks at jail weren’t that bad. At least Kyung Soo thought so.

The days passed rather fast, and he always had something to do. Reading, helping at the jail library or talking with other conscripts. He never got bored, which helped him to not think about what was happening, and the best, it helped him to not think about Suji. Except at night, she will always pop in his mind at night and he will abuse his pillows until falling asleep.

After releasing a frustrating sight against his pillow, Kyung Soo looked around the room, searching for something, anything to do. And resting on top of his desk was the book Suji sent him. It was a book he read long ago, but still, if it could help him to fall asleep it was good enough.

Kyung Soo read the first page with little interest. He was about to close the book, but that was always the first feeling that came to his mind when reading. So he didn't give up and turned the page. When he read the first line, he could feel how his heart stopped and his soul left his body and left him there frozen. It wasn’t Doctor Jekyll anymore, it was Suji.

- Kyung Soo, I'm very sorry to interrupt your reading, and I'm glad you made it to the second page. I know you have been waiting for my visit. But it can't happen yet.

On the other hand, I know this is a bit over the top, hiding messages in books. But apparently, they are keeping a good eye on you. Someone is recording all your conversations with Baekhyun and uploading them to a secret server for the police. And also, there's a strict order that all your mail has to go through analysis. I don’t know why they are doing that. Probably ego. Chanyeol has infected every single recording, so don’t worry.

About your parent's case. I started working on it when I read your journals. You state clearly that it was a murder, so I did some research. The post mortem exam is fake. They hired a fake forensic scientist and made him go testify at court. He stated that your parents were drunk and driving at high-speed. I found the real report in a mislabeled box at a police station in Seoul. I don’t know how it ended up there -

Kyung Soo kept reading each line, taking his time, analyzing each word. Suji explained to him every single thing she did to find all the necessary proofs, he didn't want to miss a detail.

- What you read in the newspaper was all we could find. No one was sentenced since the main culprit is already dead, but some people involved are currently under investigation. The police got two very strong blows in a very short time, so they are doing their best.

I went to visit your parents grave some days ago, and it was full of incense, flowers, and cards wishing for the final rest of their souls. There was also a very pretty picture of you in a frame, which I find rather amusing -

Kyung Soo turned around the page and cleaned a couple of tears running down his cheekbones.

-I’m sorry if the publishing of that news annoyed you. But I saw it as the best way to do it. And at the same time, your sentence was decided. You can hate me all you want but I found it quite perfect. People didn't even have the time to judge you badly. They took sides with you.

Maybe you have more questions and I will answer them.

Baekhyun must have told you about me leaving for India. And I know you must be worried, but this time I’m not going to be on the field, my partner will be. I'm in charge of the tactical part of the mission. I’ll be inside a trunk looking at videos and stuff. So please, don’t worry. I decided that I’m not going to risk my life anymore.

Now I treasure it -

Kyung Soo turned the page, willing to read her next words, but there was nothing. Just the continuation of the original book. No more Suji.

He closed the book and held it against his chest. He didn't have the opportunity to think about what he had just read.

He fell asleep immediately.

From September 24th and onwards

Suji’s skin was two tones darker and her hair had turned into a big dry ball that couldn’t even be controlled by a ponytail. The Indian weather did not agree with the proteins of her hair, and despite all the sunblock and fabric she used to cover herself, the sun burned like hell.

But the weather of Seoul received her with a nice rain that felt so unfamiliar but welcoming at the same time. After two days of resting, Chanyeol appeared at her house, bringing some news.

"I was able to hack the WIFI network at the jail where Kyung Soo is, so I could read some emails. He is alright, apparently, the worry is over, so they aren’t recording his conversations with Baekhyun anymore. And they are just letting him live"

"That’s great news…you think I can go and say hi?"

"Yeah, I think you could, and if anything weird happens, I can erase it from the files"

"Perfect, now if you excuse me, I need to go and talk with the boss" She patted Chanyeol 's shoulder and pulled him outside the house with her.

Junmyeon was just getting ready to leave for a meeting when Suji appeared at his office. She asked for a couple of minutes and Junmyeon agreed.

“Boss, I will like some long vacations" His nonchalant tone surprised her, she thought he would say no.

"Ok, you deserve them. How much do you want? "

"10 months" Junmyeon wasn’t surprised by the request. It was a lot of time, but Suji never asked for vacations before and he was kind of relieved.

"Ok, but in exchange, once you are back, I want you to help me train new people" Suji made a disgusted face, but agreed to do the favor.

"It will be my honor sir" she said with a fake smile. Junmyeon gave her back the same smile and walked with her outside the office.

“Talk with my secretary about the paperwork and then you can disappear” Suji bowed at Junmyeon and walked in the opposite direction.

"Yoon! let me ask you something" Suji stopped and turned around giving Junmyeon a questioning look.

"Yoon, did you develop any kind of feeling towards Do Kyung Soo?" The question shocked her, but she controlled the expression of her face and the tone of her voice like a professional.

"That’s a strange question, but not really boss. Although he was damn good at sex" Junmyeon looked around uncomfortable and walked away with a quick step.

≠

Suji looked at her reflection in the mirror and almost couldn’t recognize herself. She had a different glow. Also, she got inside the first hairdresser she could find and cut her long mane a couple of centimeters down the shoulders. She stepped on the dumbbell and realized that she had gained a couple of pounds. Several pounds. But her body didn’t show it.

Her first day of vacation consisted of shopping. New clothes, some makeup, shoes, food, and a new car. She will need it. Before dinner, she got an awaited call.

"Miss Yoon, I'm confirming the appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning. Please bring your blood test"

"Ok, thank you very much" She hung up the phone, ate her dinner and went to sleep.

In bed, she decided to not sleep resting on her tummy anymore, just in case.

≠

Kyung Soo expected to find Baekhyun at the visiting room again. Long ago he had already made peace with the idea that Suji wasn’t going to visit him. But the guards gave away some information that he couldn’t understand, or didn't want to understand.

"She said she is your childhood friend, she is very shy, kind of cute"

"Yeah, so cute that the boss allowed her to get in without previous notice" Kyung Soo only hummed. A bit absent from what was happening.

One of the guards opened the door while the other released him from the handcuffs. Kyung Soo looked up, massaging his wrists when he saw her back. It was a different haircut, but he could recognize that back and those legs everywhere.

"Suji?" He said in a low whisper, scared that he could scare her away by shouting as if she was some kind of apparition. The figure in front of him turned around and flashed him a shy smile. She answered something, but Kyung Soo couldn’t hear her. His ears were buzzing and his hands itching to reach her. Suji took the first step, a bit shy, not sure of what to do, but Kyung Soo erased the doubt by meeting her halfway, grabbing her face in between his hands and kissing her, feeling like he was finally able to breathe again. It was there when Suji realized how much she had missed him. How much she was craving him and how much it hurt to be away. The strong and solid touch of Kyung Soo gave her a feeling of nostalgia that ran down her bones, hurting. He moved from her lips to the contours of her face, dropping lingering kisses, feeling her giggle against him.

"Kyung Soo, you need to hold your horses" She said in between laughs, and he obeyed, for his own sake. He grabbed her face again and stared at her in astonishment.

"You are as beautiful as I remember you, Kyung Soo"

"You are even more beautiful than I remember"

"Did you get my message?"

"I did, thank you" Suji only shook her head and pulled him with her, sitting at the table.

"I'm sorry that it took me so long to come here, but you know my reasons"

"I do…Suji, What you did with my parents' case, I don’t think I can thank you enough"

"But you don’t have too, I did what I had to do" He didn’t know what to do or say. In the past, he had thought about what he wanted to say to Suji the day they could meet for the first time, but now he couldn’t remember.

"How was India?"

"Hot, messy and amazing, How ... How have you been doing here?"

"It's not that bad. It's monotonous and cold, but I feel like time is passing quite fast, and that is a relieve"

"It surprised me that you declare yourself guilty, I thought you will give some trouble to the police"

"No, we talked about it with Baekhyun, in that way I could get fewer years than expected and fewer interrogations…oh!, I met Junmyeon "

"Yeah he told me, he said you gave him a bad feeling"

"He looked rather uncomfortable" Kyung Soo laughed under his breath and stared at her for a while. She knew what he was looking at, so to distract him, she kissed him again. Kyung Soo answered the kiss with a smile, he knew what she was doing, and it pleased him in a way. Suji was unbeatable.

"You look different" He said, holding her chin moving her head from side to side, trying to grasp what was different in her. It was subtle, but he saw it.

"Well, I'm tanner, I gain some weight too, so maybe my features are accented by that"

"Maybe, and your new haircut makes you look even prettier" Kyung Soo could have sworn that he saw her blush, and it was a first. He pulled her back into a hug, resting his cheek against hers, feeling the warmth of her sudden blushing.

Kyung Soo didn’t exchange too many words with her. They kept a light conversation, exchanging touches once in a while.

There weren’t too many things to say. And Kyung Soo was scared to ask anything related to them.

“Kyung Soo, I have something to tell you…I’m going to be away for 10 months” His eyes grew wider in surprise and anger.

“10 months?!, Why? Where?”

“I’m in charge of an investigation at Brazil, but as in India, I’m meant to be working behind a desk, no fieldwork, you know, no danger”

“Suji, why this sudden change? And such a long time?”

“Now I have you Kyung Soo, I can’t afford to get hurt knowing you are here worrying about me” He cursed and pulled her in for a kiss. A long, feverish, parting kiss.

January 15 - 5 months later.

Baekhyun stopped his car in the middle of the empty road, double-checking his map. After miles without seeing a house he got scared. But he was sure he was close.

He followed the line the map showed, and after 5, 6 and 7 miles, he found the house he was looking for.

His seeking had started a couple of months ago. For what he knew. Suji had left for South America for a mission, and she would be back in 10 months approximately. But he could swear that he saw her twice. Once going out of the storage where she hid all of Kyung Soo’s belongings and then going out of a clinic. He was a man who believed in his hunches, and this gave him a big one.

So he hired someone. Because in South Korea you could hire someone for everything. He hired a man whose only duty was to look at the storage place and follow whoever got inside.

Two weeks later, he got a map that showed where she was.

And he was finally there. A small blue house with tiny windows. The entrance was covered with daisies and threes protected the house from the sun. Baekhyun got out of his car and called inside the house, but got no answer. With careful steps, he walked across the garden until he reached the front door. He knocked, but no one answered again. He started to think that maybe the guy he hired was wrong. That he just lost a big amount of money for nothing.

Baekhyun walked around the house following the sound of water, apparently, someone was watering the flowers. Once he was sure that there was no dog that could eat him, he kept walking, with confident steps until he reached a figure. The figure’s hair was light and long, and her back looked broader, but it was her. No doubts.

Baekhyun called her name.

“Suji!”

The figure flinched but remained still.

He called her again and this time he got an answer “What are you doing here Baekhyun?"

“I could ask the same, I thought you were in Brazil" She kept still, giving him her back.

"Suji, what is this? Why did you lie to Kyung Soo?" He quickly walked the few steps that kept him away from her. He didn't give her the opportunity to walk away. Baekhyun stopped just beside her. She looked at him with worry in her eyes. Scared and vulnerable.

She remained silent.

Something caught Baekhyun’s attention. He moved his eyes from her face down to her chest and then lower.

He said the first thing that came to his mind. Although they weren’t the nicest words.

"Holly shit you are huge!".

November 21th - 2 year later.

Chanyeol closed his computer, took off his glasses and scratched his eyes until he could see colorful lights playing behind his eyelids. He had finally finished the last part of the plan.

The private jet was booked, the two plane tickets to South Africa too, the three hotel reservations, all of them in different countries. He had already hacked the database of all the places that will be involved. He used the Hostile Takeover he had created a while ago. It took him some work, especially because he had to travel to all those places, but Suji paid for it, so he didn’t complain. Now he had to start with the second and third part of the plan. But for that, Suji had to make a drastic move.

So he would have to wait.

She walked outside the elevator with the letter in one hand and her credential in the other. This was the first time she was nervous before visiting her boss.

Maybe that would make him happy.

Junmyeon’s door was open and she could see him talking on the phone. She waited outside until he hung up the phone and invited her in. Suji sat in front of her boss with a thin smile on her face and knots in her stomach. Junmyeon stared at her with a questioning grin and let her talk first.

"Boss... I brought you... My resignation letter" Junmyeon’s face changed in a split of a second. His mouth was open but no words were said. She could have laughed because of his expression, but since it was the last time, she acted with some respect, at least for once.

"Boss, I have been thinking about this for a while, and I think is about time"

"Yoon, if you don’t want to be on the field anymore, I can get you a desk job, you could team up with Minseok in tactical, or training others, you did a great job the last time"

"No…I want to have a normal life, do something with the money I saved, or find a job in one of those gorgeous islands I have visited, I want to be away from any political issue, terrorism or national security... I feel like I already did everything I could, I should start doing something for me and the people I care" Junmyeon’s expression softened as he listened to her. Especially since it was the first time he heard her talking about someone beside her.

He cared about Suji and appreciated her work very much, but he could understand what she meant. And she was still a young woman, who got into the agency at a very young age. Junmyeon saw it coming. She went through a lot, and she needed to start over. He stretched his arm and Suji handed him her resignation letter.

"You have to come here in one week and sign some papers"

"Yeah, promising that I will not say a thing about all this and what I have done" Junmyeon nodded and saved the letter inside one of the drawers of his desk and stared at her again.

"You will be very missed here Suji, you were a brave and committed agent, and although you never followed my orders and you were very disrespectful to me, I’m grateful for your service"

"Thanks boss, it was an honor working with you, your ideals and cold mind were the things that kept me loyal to this service" Junmyeon bowed at her and gave her a warm smile. She left her credential on top of his desk, bowed at him and walked outside his office.

For the first time in her life, Suji had used her chameleonic abilities with her boss, now ex-boss. She made him believe all the things she had just said.

Junmyeon wasn’t too surprised. He sensed that something had changed with Suji. Since she came back from her vacations, she took fewer missions, and never worked on the field. She stopped working extra hours and whenever he and Minseok asked her out for some drinks, she refused. Minseok told him that maybe she had found someone. And Junmyeon suspected the same.

And that someone needed her presence, apparently.

≠

Suji walked down the street feeling a bit different. She was a civilian now. She got into the first hair salon she found and asked for a makeover. Light brown hair, shorter and a perm. After a quick lunch, she got inside an outwear store and bought boots, raincoats, parkas and pants in different colors. For women, men and children.

The second stop was the storage place where she kept all of Kyung Soo’s belongings. She put all the boxes inside her car and paid the last month of rent.

Baekhyun was just returning to his office when he saw her come down from her car. He gave her an appreciative whistle when he saw her new look.

“Running away from someone?”

“No, just starting a new life, I just resigned from my job” He was a bit surprised by the news. During all those years he had learned that Suji did things without telling others, so each time he met her, he was a bit scared of what she could tell him.

“Why?”

“I’m leaving for Argentina next week and I will be away for some months” Baekhyun grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the building into the waiting room.

“Argentina? So the date is close? What about Joon Hyung?”

“He is coming with me. I already bought the land, and the contractor with his people are almost done with the house”

“That fast?!” Suji nodded and handed him some papers.

“I made some inquiries and here are all the things you have to do so I can take Taro and Sabotaro with me next time I come here”

“And when will that be?”

“In a month maybe…I still have to do some work related to the…plan” He grabbed the papers and saved them inside his briefcase. He stared at her for a long while wondering for the nth time if all this will work was the right thing to do, but then he remembered his friend, and how his glow had started fading for being inside that god damn jail “Ok, then, good luck Yoon Suji”

“I don’t need it”

≠

Kyung Soo was having a very bad week. Nothing happened, but he was feeling tired. The doctor said it could be the beginning of a depression, but he ignored him. Nothing had really changed, and he could say that he was already used to that place. But the exterior was calling him, and every day he started missing the things from outside. Smells, colors, places, his dogs, and of course the people around him. If it wasn’t for Baekhyun’s visits and Suji’s letters, he would have lost his mind a long time ago.

During those years, Suji had visited him 6, maybe 7 times. Each time she looked different, but only on the outside. And despite the fact that those were short visits, they helped him.

Suji had told him to wait for her.

And he was planning to do that.

June 29th - 2 years later

Kyung Soo couldn’t sleep the night before. Baekhyun had told him that Suji was going to visit him that day, and she had good news. The last time he saw her was 6 months ago. She had told him she would be on a mission, and Kyung Soo had stopped asking what kind of mission a long ago, so his nerves wouldn’t kill him.

After breakfast, Kyung Soo was called and taken to the visit room. This was the first time Suji had announced her visit, but it still made him nervous. One of the guards opened the door, and he saw her. She didn’t greet him, only smiled, and waited until the door was closed behind him to get up and hug him.

“Long time no see” He whispered against her neck.

“How have you been doing?”

”Good, you?”

“I just came back from Russia”

“Drugs?”

“No, human trafficking”

“Bastards” Suji moved away, so she could look at his face. She caressed his cheeks, the new wrinkles around his eyes and the line of his lips. They stayed in silence for a while, he only rested his hands on Suji’s hips and received the caresses.

“You’re just back from Russia and the first thing you do is come here?”

“Yeah… 4 years and 6 months inside uh? You feel like you already paid for your sins”

“Maybe…why? You have a proposition?”

“Yeah… you have the right to appeal for a reduction of sentence”

“And it’s going to be a waste of time”

”Of course, there’s no way that they are releasing you before those 20 years pass, but there’s another option”

“And what’s that?” She moved away from Kyung Soo to fetch something from her bag.

“I can’t tell you here, and it’s a bit complicated, so here” She passed him a new copy of Fahrenheit 451.

“A gift, read it carefully”

“Thank you, this is why you have been so busy, too busy to visit your boyfriend in jail, you did this and keep working?” He asked moving the book in front of her face.

“Kyung Soo, I quit my job some years ago”

“What? You did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I quit so I could have everything ready, there were a lot of things to prepare for us” Suji didn’t tell him what exactly meant.

“Now everything is ready, we just have to wait for the audience in two weeks”

“I feel like you are hiding something from me”

“I am, but you will know soon” He stared at her for a while with a grin.

“Ok, I will wait then, so it’s happening?” Suji passed her arms around Kyung Soo, pulling him closer to her, whispering, very low against his lips.

“It’s happening, I’m taking you with me, away from this damn place” Kyung Soo pulled her even closer, kissing her and melting with her body.

Kyung Soo went back to his room and started reading the book Suji gave him. From 5 pm to 7 am. Because he didn’t only read it, he memorized every single thing that will take place. Suji was very thorough with her plan. There were no loose knots, no place for mistakes.

And Kyung Soo couldn’t make any mistake and toss all her effort to the garbage.

July 12th - 2 weeks later

Kyung Soo shaved his face and combed his hair in front of the small mirror of his room.

At 9 am the guards opened the door of his cell. He stood up from his bed and left the room knowing that he wasn’t going to be back.

At 9:30, Kyung Soo was waiting for the police car that would take him to the courthouse for the audience. The two guards greeted the three police officers that came to take him. Two of them went out of the car, the third one stayed inside the car, behind the wheel. Kyung Soo bowed at them and got inside. He made eye contact with the driver and exchanged a silent salute. He was Accomplice N°1, as Suji named him.

The drive from the jail to the court was a long drive of 2 hours, with traffic, maybe three. Normally, a conscript like him will require more security. Cops in motorcycles flanking the car, a helicopter in the sky flying over the road, but no. Do Kyung Soo, a man with a 20 years sentence, was taken to the court by three police officers in a mundane police car. Suji had explained to him in the book the reason. That would call attention, and they were scared of the reaction of his followers. And also, it will involve the expense of money that the police didn’t have at that time.

The exchange was meant to take place after 25 minutes of driving. Kyung Soo looked at the radio clock and counted the minutes, impatient. 23 minutes passed, and he stared at the driver for the second time through the rearview mirror. The man didn’t look at him, but he could see how focused he was. 24 minutes and the scene was the same. Two police officers looking through the window, one driving and another police on the other side of the radio, asking for the state of the transfer every five minutes.

Soon, 25 minutes had passed. The driver stopped at a red light and looked at Kyung Soo.

“As indicated, put on this mask” The police told him, as he put on his own. The other two officers didn’t have time to react. Immediately smoke started to come from the air-conditioning system and filled the inside of the car. The two policemen fell unconscious and the driver took a sudden U-turn.

After 5 minutes of driving with the windows down, they stopped the car in front of a school full of kids that were currently leaving school with their parents. The driver took off his police jacket and got off the car, Kyung Soo did the same, with his hands hanging low so no one could see the handcuffs. The man stopped in front of him and took a set of keys from one of his pockets.

“The other car is right in the corner. Another driver will be there and he will take you to the next stop” He said as he saved the handcuffs in his left pocket. Kyung Soo bowed at him and walked past the sea of kids who were talking in groups or running towards their mom’s cars. He turned to the right once he reached the corner of the street and found three cars parked, only one of them was occupied. Kyung Soo walked towards it, opened the back door and got inside. The driver didn’t talk or look at him. He initiated the car and drove towards downtown.

“There is a bag next to you, turn on the phone, Miss Yoon will call you” Kyung Soo did as told and some seconds later the phone rang.

“Kyung Soo? It’s me” The sound of her voice stirred him, a rush of adrenaline ran up and down his body.

“How’s everything?”

“Great, we have one hour left, you will soon change cars again, and it will take you to the aerodrome. I will be waiting there” The call was abruptly cut but gave Kyung Soo some reassurance. He found a t-shirt, food, a second phone, and a wallet. He took off his shirt and threw it out the window. Then he turned on the second phone and made sure to leave his fingerprints on it and call some numbers already saved inside the phone. Lastly, he opened his new wallet and found his new identification, some bills, a picture of a dog and an old couple and some last week train tickets.

“If things slow down and the alarm goes off, the police will be after you in a second, so if a police officer stops you, show him this” Suji had written in the book. Kyung Soo saved the wallet in his pocket, just when the car stopped again. He went out of it, already knowing what to do. The second stop was a residential building with an underground parking lot. He walked inside the reception and the doorman guided him to the stairs that lead him to the parking lot. Kyung Soo went down the stairs with a quick step, and just as Suji told him, at the lot A6 there was a white car waiting for him.

He got inside, this time sitting on the passenger’s seat. The man next to him was different from the previous drivers. This one actually talked to him.

“Kyung Soo! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Chanyeol, and I will take you to your last destination. From where fancy families with their own planes leave this country by air” Kyung Soo recognized the name, he knew who he was, but he never imagined that Chanyeol would look, and act like that.

“You’re Park Chanyeol, the hacker”

“I am! And you’re Kyung Soo, the lover” He chuckled and shook the hand Chanyeol was offering him.

“Thanks for all the work you did with my parent's case”

“Nah, no need, I’m glad I could help, and I’m glad I could help also with this, did you like your new identity? Suji’s new name is Hae Ryung, she hated it, but I think is cute” Kyung Soo thanked him, enjoying Chanyeol’s company.

“Hae Ryung is a very cute name, thanks for my new identity, I like the name Lee Yool, it has a punch”

“I know right!” Kyung Soo kept smiling thanks to Chanyeol’s company, he felt bad that he couldn’t spend more time with him. He felt less nervous and scared by the whole situation thanks to his smile. They had already left the city, and the signs indicated that the aerodrome was closer.

“The good thing about all this is that I get to burn this car, this is going to be fun, stressful, but fun” Kyung Soo laughed with Chanyeol, wishing to develop this friendship. Maybe he could visit them in the future, wherever Suji decided to live.

They stopped in front of a security cabin. Chanyeol went out of the car quickly, with an envelope in his hands. Kyung Soo saw the short interaction between him and the guard inside the cabin. Chanyeol, who was easily 15 centimeters taller than the guard, patted his shoulder and then gave him the envelope. The man opened the envelope, smiled to himself, and nodded at Chanyeol. He nodded back and came back to the car.

“Everything alright?” Asked Kyung Soo.

“Perfect, now we have to be quick” Chanyeol pressed the accelerator and drove ahead. There were several planes. Mostly cargo planes, private jets, and twin-engine planes.

“Ours is ready to leave, see the white one over there? It’s a business jet, I don’t know too much about planes, Suji does, she said is the best kind of transport, is fast, and flies higher than commercial planes, so the permissions are easier to get…also, If the driver asks, you’re the son of the owner, and Suji is your wife”

“Got it, anything else?”

“No, she will explain you everything”

They parked the car under one of the wings of the plane, Kyung Soo checked his pockets, making sure he had everything he needed and got out of the car. Chanyeol followed him close, and got inside the plane with him.

“Suji?!” Chanyeol screamed once they were inside, and she appeared from inside the pilot’s cabins. She ignored Chanyeol and ran towards Kyung Soo, pulling him in a hug. He was in such perplexity that it took him a while to answer. Everything happened too fast, and now he had Suji there, now he could feel her, smell her, hold her in complete freedom.

“I get it has been a while and all that, but we are running out of time guys” Chanyeol felt sorry, but he had to take them back to reality. She kissed Kyung Soo on the cheek and walked past him, holding Chanyeol’s hands.

“Chanyeol, you know what you have to do, we will take off in five minutes, as soon as we arrive in our last destiny, we will call you…and Chanyeol, thank you so much” She pulled her friend in a hug, and kept him there for a couple of seconds before dropping a kiss on his cheek and part. Kyung Soo followed her. They met for a short time, but Kyung Soo was already grateful for Chanyeol’s existence.

“Thanks Chanyeol, I hope we see you again”

“Of course! You have to tell me all about the you know what of the century” He whispered to him. Kyung Soo gave him a solemn reverence, promising him that he would tell him every detail.

“Ok guys, I wish you the best luck, take care and I’ll do my part here” Chanyeol hugged her again, then Kyung Soo and went off the plane. The pilot passed by them, greeting Kyung Soo, and closed the door.

“Please ma’am and sir, I have to ask you to sit down and put on your belts so we can leave on time” Kyung Soo pulled Suji with him and sat in the closest set of seats.

In Suji’s instructive, as he liked to call the book with all the indications she gave him, she explained only until the part where he got into the third car with Chanyeol. What will happen now was a mystery for him. So he asked for explanations immediately.

“So? Now what?”

“Now we are flying to Russia, we will land in a small town close to the border between Russia and Finland. We will drive to Ivalo, a small city close to the border. There, we are going to take a train to Helsinki, a plane to Brazil is waiting for us there, then in Brazil, we will take a plane to Argentina, to finally drive again to our house” Kyung Soo felt tired already, so many kinds of transportations, and so many stops. He was grateful for Suji, but maybe she overdid it.

“No, I want them to lost our trail” She answered him with a deep frown, a bit offended by Kyung Soo’s comment, she didn’t overdo it, it was a flawless plan.

“It is a flawless plan, I’m sorry” He said, kissing her temple.

“And all the fake evidence is brilliant”

“Thank you, I was inspired by your masterpiece, and that’s not all, thanks to Chanyeol’s magic, right now, Yoon Suji and Do Kyung Soo are getting in to a plane to South Africa, and another couple with the same name, in an hour, will be taking off in a plane to Canada”

“How?!”

“Chanyeol hacked the passenger list in those two flies, our names will appear, but not us” Kyung Soo was amazed, and Suji’s explanations had him so caught up that he didn’t realize when they took off, and now the pilot was telling them that in an hour they will be flying in Russian sky.

The excitement in his body was obvious. He wasn’t just running away, Suji had put up a Hollywood like stunt, and until now, it worked perfectly.

“Suji, Where are we going? I mean, where is our final stop?”

“Argentina, the Patagonia, with the money you gave me, I bought a small land close to a river and I built a house, well, not me, but you get what I mean”

“The Patagonia, you read my mind”

“I did. Taro and Sabotaro are there already” Kyung Soo tear up at the mention of his dogs.

“They like it?”

“They do, Taro spends half of the day following birds, and Sabotaro just looks at him, they love to swim in the river in the afternoon, when it’s a bit warmer” Suji looked at Kyung Soo holding her hand and saw him smiling brightly. All the work was worth it, only for that smile.

“I’m sure you are going to like the place, Joon Hyung loves it” Suji closed her eyes, waiting for the obvious question. Her stomach hurt, and she felt dizzy, she knew Kyung Soo will be happy with the news, but maybe not with the fact that she hid it from him.

“Who’s Joon Hyung?” She took a deep breath and looked at the floor.

“Joon Hyung is your son, he is 4 years now, and he is waiting for us at the house, don’t worry, I have two nannies taking care of him, and Baekhyun’s mom is there too and …” She couldn’t finish talking, Kyung Soo had pulled her in a thigh hug, crying so hard that it worried her. He muttered a Thank you in between sobbings, and the grip of his arms kept getting stronger and stronger. She knew he would be happy, but not that happy. Kyung Soo couldn’t believe his luck, and how happy he felt with the news. He secretly wanted kids, but he never told anybody, and of course, he never told Suji. He always thought he didn’t deserve a family, that it would be impossible for him. But life gave him a surprise.

“How? When? That last night?”

“I guess so, we didn’t use protection that night, and the time fits” Kyung Soo moved her away from him, suddenly worried.

“But you left for India during that time, didn't you know?”

“No, I felt like hell those months there, but I blamed it on the water, the food and the hellish summer, oh, and I didn’t get my period, when I came back I went to the doctor, and she confirmed it”

“Did you have any problem? Wait, then you left for Brazil right?”

“No, that was a lie, I stayed in Korea, waiting for Joon Hyung to arrive, I moved to my grandmother’s house in the countryside, no one except Chanyeol knew about my pregnancy, so I wanted to avoid any accidental meeting”

“Dear god Suji…I don’t know if I should be mad because you didn’t tell me, or proud of how well you managed alone” She pulled him closer by his shoulders, luring him with her eyes, and he let himself be pulled into her.

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you, but I guess I was trying to cause you fewer worries” She kissed the corner of his lips, slowly, asking for forgiveness. Kyung Soo didn’t think twice and forgave her with a kiss. With all the excitement and stress of the runaway, they hadn’t kissed since they met outside jail. And once they realized it, they couldn’t let go of each other. His hands were acting way too daring, so she stopped him politely.

“Kyung Soo, sorry, but no sex for now, maybe once we are in mainland” He cursed under his breath, but he understood that much, so he made himself comfortable in Suji’s embrace, ready to wait for their landing.

“Suji, Does Joon Hyung know about me?”

“Of course, he talks about you as if you were there, he can’t wait to meet you”

“Thanks, tell me things about him” Suji kissed the top of his head and started telling him all about Joon Hyung, starting with the day he was born.

Epilogue

July 13th - One week later

Minseok knocked at Junmyeon’s half-open door and got inside without waiting for his response. Junmyeon was on the phone and gave him a signal to sit down. Minseok served himself a cup of coffee and waited for Junmyeon to be ready. His friend looked very angry talking on the phone and Minseok suspected who was on the other side “Our boss?” He asked once Junmyeon was done with the phone call “Yeah, the police will take care of Do’s get away, they want to show people they are doing their job, which clearly, is a lie”

“Are you mad? Did you want to take care of his search?”

“Not really, I just don’t like him…He took my best agent,” Minseok smiled at his statement. Some days ago Junmyeon had come up with that theory, and with the explanations he gave him, Minseok found it quite possible.

“Well, Suji did a lot for us meanwhile she was here”

“I know, That’s the only reason why I haven't tell anyone that she is with him and that she probably helped him runaway”

“Well, anyway we are not 100% sure that’s true” Junmyeon shrugged, Minseok was right, but his instinct told him that Kyung Soo and Suji were together on this.

“I hope she is alright, but remember what I told you, she is trustful to herself, or someone very important to her” Minseok felt a bit sad with what he said. After all, he saw her as family, he had saved her ass several times, and Suji had saved his ass even more times.

But if Suji’s heart told her that she belonged to Kyung Soo’s side, Minseok had nothing to do against it.

Maybe if Suji had asked him for help, he would have helped her.

END

Note: Next way there will be an Epilogue (number 2) called ‘After winning the war’ . So I will say goodbye to this story then.

#Kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #do kyung soo #d.o #d.o fanfic #kyung soo #kyungsoo fanfic #kyung soo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic

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kristallioness · 4 years

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2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*

#personal #shards of Kristal

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soveryanon · 5 years

Text

Reviewing time for MAG146 /X_X/*

- Replacing things chronologically, what Jon was doing vs. what he was saying and telling the others throughout the season? (Not suuuure about the first having happened before MAG124, though, since. Yeah. We had squinted at that comment, back in MAG125. And it could take on A Very Special Meaning if that actually came just after Jon’s first victim.)

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: … The first was a supermarket cleaner. Em, ended up lost for a week in an endless warehouse. I didn’t even…! I–I just went in for some shopping, and he was there, and I–I just… asked.

(MAG124) ARCHIVIST: It’s been a week and… Melanie’s attitude towards me hasn’t softened. And Basira, though she is very willing to talk, still doesn’t seem to trust me enough to let me in on whatever plans she might have.

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: Regardless, I’ve hit another research dead end with this. It’s… frustrating, to be honest. I finally feel myself, I feel… focused, and ready – and I find myself basically alone.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: The second was, uh, it was after I got… stabbed by Melanie. MELANIE: You are not putting this on me! ARCHIVIST: No, that’s not what I meant! [SIGH] I was walking the streets, I–I thought I was trying to clear my head– DAISY: [DELIBERATE] But you were hunting. ARCHIVIST: … Apparently. I found a woman who… every year on her birthday, wakes up in a fresh grave. Just for her.

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry Basira, I–I will try to keep anything I learn about you to myself. My priorities haven’t changed; I hope you can believe that. [SIGH] I’m still on your side. You can trust me.

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: You can trust me, Basira– BASIRA: Stop saying that.

(MAG146) DAISY: And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST: A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever-darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started… weeping maggots.

(MAG133) ARCHIVIST: Look, I’ve… been where you are. BASIRA: Have you? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I have. Like you’re the only one responsible for everyone, the weight of all their lives on your shoulders: it leads to bad decisions. […] Fine. I don’t care if you trust me, but I think I’ve proven at the very least that I’m useful. So use me. Because if you go it alone, you are going to die. Even Gertrude worked with people. We make bad decisions when we don’t communicate…

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Jess Tyrell, the woman on the tape… [SIGH] She was the fourth. I–I just tried to… I was weak, r–ravenous, I–I didn’t feel…

What Jon did would have warranted the others’ anger anyway; but I think what made it even worse is… that he spent the season taking the higher and stable ground, assuring them that he could be trusted, that they had to communicate and work together, and actively complained and presented himself as… a victim who was tragically cut out by the others? And in the end, Basira was right from the start, without knowing it: he was actually untrustworthy, and unreliable to us listeners.

And it’s not even a New Jon thing! He hid himself to the tapes back in season 1, covered up his true feelings and played pretend because he was afraid that acknowledging the supernatural and the feeling of being watched would only make it more real.

- So, personally? I felt so relieved by the girls’ reaction: yes, it’s irrational; yes, it’s confrontational; yes, it’s not constructive; yes, they’re probably making a series of mistake again. But after MAG142 (and the fact that Martin was partially refusing to believe it was Jon-Jon behind it, then presenting Jon as someone who needed to be protected rather than protected from, and Daisy who was also prompt to highlight how Jon had suffered himself), I… think I really needed characters to be horrified and disgusted by what he had done; to express something raw, leaking betrayal, hurt, disappointment and disgust.

The setting of The Intervention 2.0 is especially interesting since… it’s once again something that Martin, though reluctant, slowly planned or at least contributed to put into motion:

(MAG058) MARTIN: Look, look, you just got to let me work through this. Alright? I suggested therapy, but he just says no, so– TIM: Well, we need to do something! MARTIN: Yeah, maybe.

(MAG059) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. Everyone is avoiding me. They’ve taken to working farther away from me than normal, and when I call them for any reason, they’re always keen to leave as soon as possible. They share furtive glances when they think I’m not looking. I don’t like it. I feel like they’re planning something.

(MAG060) ARCHIVIST: You don’t mind if I record this, I trust? ELIAS: Well, to be honest– TIM: –That’s kind of one of the things we wanted to talk about. MARTIN: This is an intervention. ARCHIVIST: Excuse me. [CHAIR] ELIAS: If you’d rather it was an official disciplinary hearing, Jon, we can arrange it. ARCHIVIST: … Fine. Say your piece. NOT!SASHA: We care about you, Jon. And you’ve been rather erratic since the Prentiss’s incident. MARTIN: And we’d really like– ELIAS: To not have to fire you. MARTIN: –to make sure that you’re doing okay.

(MAG142) MARTIN: [SIGH] Th–the worst part is I don’t even want to talk to him about it. I’m just… [SIGH] I suppose I’m just getting comfortable with the distance. […] I should probably try to get him this tape, let him know what happened, that someone came in to… But then, ahah, would that just come across as an accusation? Like, because I don’t wanna… And then, then I guess he’d… hear this bit as well, so… I… I… [LONG EXHALE] What do I do…?

(MAG145) BASIRA: Martin left a tape for us. [SHUFFLING NOISE] ARCHIVIST: And what exactly is on this t– … Oh… MELANIE: Yes.

(Martin had tried to partially lead the “intervention” back in MAG060: the way he had corrected Elias was especially impressive, given how Elias was “just” his boss at the time.)

But now, it’s an entirely different team confronting Jon about his actions than in MAG060 – from Martin, Tim, Not!Sasha and Elias, to Melanie, Basira and Daisy: back then, it was half composed of people who… were not being honest to the others about who they were (Elias was scolding Jon for his behaviour and paranoia induced by Gertrude’s murder, when he was the one responsible for it in the first place, and knew about Not!Sasha; Not!Sasha was gleefully pouring salt over the wounds while she had killed Sasha a few months ago, while the others didn’t know yet). Now, unless twist, the three new assistants have made mistakes of their own but are not “toying” with Jon, and are genuine about their feelings; and, more importantly, the three of them have been victims of Jon’s statement-induced nightmares. Daisy had deemed them bad enough to knowingly sign an employment contract, to get immunity from them even though it meant trapping herself in work for Beholding. They all know, from experience, how difficult to bear the dreams were, for victims.

(Not even counting the additional symptoms described by Jess in MAG142. And I can’t help but think that there is something a bit… stronger, for women, to hear about a woman who was terrorised by a man, who happened to be someone close to them. MAG142’s whole setting had made me viscerally uncomfortable more than horrified (“story about a woman being preyed upon while on a date, cornered once alone, pressured to do something painful, then receiving the thanks of her tormentor” was… Heavy) so, although it’s a sheer emotional&personal response, hearing characters-who-are-women unambiguously denouncing what happened without searching for excuses for the perpetrator, meeting him with nothing but coldness and anger… was reassuring. Yes, narratively and strategically, it’s probably not going to help the characters. But emotionally, if felt, to me, like a necessary reaction.)

(And it was even more significant, in the story, that amongst these three characters, Melanie has always been leaning a bit towards denouncing oppressive social structures (her rant about Elias in MAG117 was… yeah.), and the two others… used to be police officers. Basira, especially, led the intervention as an interrogation against Jon; being firm, pushing him to confess, not allowing him to dissimulate or minimise the hurt – though she also made herself partially a judge, in this case, by claiming what Jon was, and I think that was her emotions pouring out.)

- I’ll try to cover the statement first: it was a very interesting case, time-wise, because it intertwined multiple lives and events. The doors had haunted Marcus McKenzie for most of his life, but his father ended up pursued by one and was the first to leave his statement, on August 24th 2003 (MAG027). Marcus left his statement a week later, on September 1st 2003 (MAG146), in reaction to his father’s. Jon stumbled upon Paul’s first, but already learned at the time, through the follow-up work, that Marcus had also given one:

(MAG027) ARCHIVIST: Martin made contact with the son, Marcus McKenzie, but he declined to talk to us, saying that he’d “already made his statement.” This leads me to believe that Marcus McKenzie may also have a statement lurking somewhere here in the archives, lost among the mess and misfiling.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … So it seems we did have Marcus McKenzie’s statement after all. I spent so long looking for it, back when I found his father’s, and… no luck.

And Paul had died “of a stroke” two months after leaving his statement (MAG027), which was confirmed by Helen (MAG146: “And technically, I didn’t eat the old man. He passed away from terror!, before I even had the chance to open properly.”)… while Marcus had been fine for almost fifteen years, given how Jon’s team had been able to contact him, back in (April or earlier) 2016, but this wasn’t the case anymore as of now (June-July 2018):

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: And his son Marcus, he… he was fine, when I found his father’s statement two years ago – but now, suddenly, I can’t get through to him! HELEN: No… I imagine not~! I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago.

So things kept going, Spooks kept on terrorising innocents, and this time it was one who is… closer to Jon. The first statement Jon had read at the Institute post-coma had already been about someone who got snatched while he was already in charge:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: […] I did do some light searching myself on Gregory Cox. … Vanished, unsurprisingly. Sometime in late July 2016, which is… [CHUCKLE] two years ago. … That doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t feel like… … There’s just this… great… gap of time, where I wasn’t. No notes or follow-up here that I can see, just… [SIGH] It looks like the statement came in just after Gertrude disappeared. Another gap. And whoever took it didn’t do any follow-up, just… filed it away. I may be the first person to actually read it, so… sorry Angie, I suppose.

Most of the events involving innocents have been taking place during Gertrude’s era: there were sometimes pleas of people knowing that they were losing someone, or on the verge of being eaten themselves (which was the case for Paul McKenzie in MAG027: “I guess that’s why I’m here. This is what you people do. You investigate these things. You know what to look for and can identify the signs of things that… aren’t right. You know, not of this world. I’m not saying it’s a ghost or anything like that, it’s just… that well, if it was a ghost, you’d be the ones to talk to, right? I just need it to stop. And I don’t want to be put in a home.”), and we were getting glimpses of their gruesome fates from a later point in time – Jon and his team digging through a distant or recent history, but overall covering events that were absolutely unrelated to them. They didn’t know anything while it was happening, and they couldn’t have done anything. But in the case of Gregory Cox, there had already been the fact that the statement had come in when Jon was (on the verge of, or just) beginning his work as the new Head Archivist, and that Gregory disappeared while he was already well-installed; now, with Marcus McKenzie, it’s someone who he had been in contact with, through Martin. It’s the slow dissolution of one of Jon’s own eras, too: because back in MAG027, the Archival Assistants were Sasha and Martin (who had worked on this peculiar case) and Tim, and now, only Martin is left alive, and Jon’s current Archival Assistants are three completely different people.

And indeed, it’s not Team Archives’s responsibility to save everyone; but it’s still someone they had interacted with, and who got consumed since then. It’s closer. It feels more personal, hence, probably… Jon’s franticness: because in the same episode, he acknowledged the fact that he has attacked five people himself, and is confronted to the fact that he hasn’t saved any statement-giver, either.

(- And… remember what Jon had said about Elias in MAG017? “I know he’ll just give me the old ‘record and study, not interfere or contain’ speech again”. The Archives have never been about helping or saving people, nor has the Institute in general, it’s been proven again and again – but it’s something else to be confronted with so directly. In this case, since it was someone Jon’s team had been able to contact, and who got snatched by Helen, who is present in the Institute and has helped Jon occasionally, telling him that she has decided to help him… and there was, obviously, a gigantic echo about deception/relying on (or trusting) someone close, who had repeatedly stated that they were on your side and ready to help you, before you learned about their crimes, with Jon learning what Helen had done, and the Assistants learning what Jon himself had done.)

(- This bit is more gratuitous and solely due to the wording, but I couldn’t help but think about Martin, too, because of the “I’m sorry he’s so lonely, truly I am; I try to see him as much as I can, but I have my own life, and I can’t be there all the time. And I don’t like being manipulated. I don’t like being lied to.” bit (Martin had told Peter word-for-word, in MAG126, “I don’t like being manipulated.”) + the boat painting. Peter Lukas has ruined me for those forever. The familial situation and dynamic was fairly different this time around (… MAG144 was much closer to Martin’s own), but hearing Jon read a statement about someone saying that x was “lonely” because the statement-giver was not around enough also reminded me, a bit, of the whole Jon-Martin deal.

+ obviously, the ~not liking to be manipulated~ is relevant to Jon as well given his hatred of spiders and his overall Web-related trauma.)

- It’s also amusing because, as much as I relistened to old episodes, I never labelled MAG027 a Spiral episode (and more specifically, a Distortion one) in my mind. Relistening to it, yeah, obviously, it was a Spiral episode, with the statement-giver being aware that others thought he was delusional or getting too old, but back then… there was the door, indeed, but I kind of remembered it as a Dark statement for some reason? The feeling of empty houses, the reflexion about noises and how you become aware of all the strange little things when you’re alone in it, and the fact that… something could come for you from within? I think it comes to the fact that, back then, Michael was not so strongly associated with “doors”, and also because MAG026 had already been about him – it’s rare to get two episodes in a row involving the same person/monster/manifestation unless Jon is actively researching the subject.

- … Jon’s… nostalgia of a simpler time? felt accidentally funny to me, though, because I did remember that I had found Jon especially savage with Paul McKenzie, back in MAG027:

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: … I never thought I’d miss those days, when I could throw out some half-baked speculation about drug abuse or mental illness, and whoosh, away all the statements went. There is… nothing in the world more reassuring than ignorance which we can mistake for certainty. But no. Almost every one of those statements, those… people… that poor old man… [HUFF] Like I can talk…! Like I’m in any position to mourn the suffering of the innocent.

(MAG027) ARCHIVIST: I want to believe Mr. McKenzie, I really do. I am not entirely made of stone, and am apt to be moved by the plea of a scared old man as much as anybody. I mean, dementia is, of course, the most likely explanation, and he admits himself that he has no proof of any of it. Yet part of me still wants to believe him. Perhaps this job is making me sentimental.

And I knooow, Jon was lying and hiding because afraid, but. Still. It had been one of my biggest “OOOH, SHUT UP?!” moment in season 1. How low can you be, to be melancholic about a time when Jon Was Like That.

At the same time, it’s interesting how… Jon’s fake detachment, back in season 1, although absolutely biased and deliberately anti-supernatural, made him sound more… like how you could picture a neutral-uncaring-Archivist. Even in season 2, he was mostly obsessed with the threads going on, the mysteries of the Archives, of the monsters, of Gertrude’s murder. Compared to season 4 in which… with the exception of some recent statements, and although it was just revealed that he had been harming people all along, he was also shown to be softer, more philosophical, more emotional over the victims, sparing a thought for them – and acknowledging their status. More human, in a way, than he had been when he wasn’t this deep in…? (Although still self-centred, in a different way, but more on that later.)

- On the subject of echoes and the situation feeling closer: there was also the fact that… Marcus McKenzie had done absolutely nothing to earn what had happened to him, that his targeting was absolutely unwarranted and began when he was just a little kid (“… The first door I remember seeing that shouldn’t have been there must have been when I was five or six. […] So one night – it was in the Christmas holidays, so I must have been six… I wake up. There’s a noise in my room, like something being… dragged along the floor.”) – just… like Jon, who was only eight when he stumbled upon A Guest For Mr. Spider. And we had the proof that Marcus was pursued and toyed with (before eventually getting eaten) throughout his entire life; so what does it say about Jon’s own situation…?

(- And in the list of things just plainly sad: Marcus’s “and I watched my most treasured possession disappear forever, as the door closed behind it, and I ran back to bed.”, accompanying the end of his innocence – since the door kept popping up, more and more sneakily and/or threatening, starting with this incident.

In the list of “aouch” and conveying a lot in just a few words: “all that remained of my worldly possessions were packed up for yet another return to childhood.”)

- Smaller echoes: the way Marcus was, at first, trying to hide that he had seen another door fairly recently (“But they were just… specific, weird little hallucinations that have long since stopped! Haven’t had one in… Well, it’s not important.”) before finally telling about a last encounter that had taken place recently, after fifteen years of nothing – just like Jon had been hiding his current streak of victims (and even gave the lower number before admitting the actual one, when cornered).

- Slow build-up with Jon introducing the statement with a beautiful circumlocution… and finally calling a spade a spade:

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: Statement of Marcus McKenzie, regarding a series of… unexplored entryways. […] But there is one thing I know an awful lot better now, than I did when I read his father’s statement: I know an awful lot more about doors…! [CLICK.]

And… more concerning:

(MAG146, Marcus McKenzie) “And as I passed that empty space of grass, there it was – a pale yellow door, stood all alone, like the entrance to a house that I just couldn’t see. It had no frame around it, but I was sure that if I grasped its handle and twisted… it would still swing open, silent, and inviting. […] The street was silent, but I could feel it screaming at me to open it. I just about managed to not do. I was… just about able to walk away. […] Sometimes, you just have to leave. Even if what’s on the other side scares you.”

And ooooh, do Jon does have his own “doors” – Mr. Spider’s, which he almost knocked on; Michael/Helen’s (and the fact that Elias had described how, in his dreams, Jon “knows the dream it used to lead to; he knows it well. But that’s not where it leads anymore. He does not know what is behind it anymore, and he is deathly afraid of finding out. The Archivist turns away.”); his own inner door of knowledge, with the danger of drowning…

- And Marcus’s case was big enough for Jon to… finally knock (bang.) on a door, which, I think, was the first time we ever heard him do? He was especially adamant about not knocking on this particular door?

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh. This, this door… It shouldn’t be here. MELANIE: Yes. ARCHIVIST: I, uh… I don’t want to open it. I’m not going to. [MELANIE SIGHS, KNOCKS ON THE DOOR]

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Haven’t seen Helen much. The door is… sometimes there, sometimes not. … I haven’t knocked. I’m never going to trust it. Trust… her. … Trust it. [DRY EXHALE] And I shouldn’t. Whatever its relationship to the person who was or is Helen… assuming that I can ever know its motivations is a mistake.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [BREATHING HEAVILY, FRANTICALLY BANGING ON A DOOR] [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [DISTORTION SOUNDS, BRINGING CONSTANT STATIC] HELEN: You rang~?

I didn’t keep tabs in season 4 but I think it was still a Thing that nobody ever knocks on Jon’s door when they expect him to be inside (… Georgie did in MAG145, but she was pretending to not know), although the assistants did, between them. And of course, knocking on a door might have a special connotation for Jon! It’s what almost got him killed when he was a kid, and ~compelled~ to knock by a Web book!

(And I just realized with this episode that, doors-wise, Martin and Jon actually make the worst combination possible. Jon would have been snatched by Mr. Spider if he had knocked on its door; and on the other hand… Martin stayed holed up inside of his flat while harassed by Jane Prentiss’s constant regular knocking. Jon having a trauma related to being forced to knock to go inside; Martin having a trauma related to something knocking and threatening to come inside.)

- One of the themes mentioned by Arthur in the previous episode also poured into this one: the perception that we have of a person, and how “many” of that same person there is.

(MAG145) GERTRUDE: What was Agnes like? […] ARTHUR: I… [PAUSE] I don’t know. Not really. You got as many answers to that as… folks who met her. Never really knew what she felt ‘bout any of it! Not really. Not in her own words. […] At the end of it, you’re always just the… point of someone else’s story. Everyone clamouring to say what you were, what you meant, and… your thoughts on it… all don’t mean nothing.

We could see a glimpse of that idea throughout Marcus’s statement: in Marcus’s point of view, his father was obsessed with the idea of protecting him, and had made up the story about his own door to try and manipulate him into going back to living with him. That point of view… didn’t age well: Helen confirmed that The Distortion had gone after both father and son, so Paul’s words were likely genuine (and there was nothing about an obsession with his son in his statement). And the theme was, once again, present within both Jon and Helen deceiving people: Helen, who had been fairly benevolent towards the Archives (trapping Jared and neutralising him, allowing Jon to go inside and offer him freedom against what he needed, announcing that she would help the Archives, fetching Jon and Basira back from Ny-Ålesund, swallowing Manuela) was also revealed to have embraced the “feed what feeds you” lifestyle and to be killing innocents without any remorse. In the same way, Jon, whose “monsterhood” had mostly been existential and manifesting through his abilities in the first half of this season, was revealed to have attacked and condemned five innocent people to his nightmares since he woke up – and hid that from both the Assistants and the tapes.

- (“Jack… I was wrong… I was so wrong…………”) => I really wanted to believe in Helen, damniiiiiiiiiiiiit ;; I'd been hoping that Jon was wrong to not trust her, but he was right…

I had hope that Something Had Indeed Gone Wrong with Helen becoming the Distortion, since she had mentioned that Helen hadn’t been “ready” when she had supplanted Michael, and that eating a man had made her feel “wrong”… It looks like she’s not getting second-thoughts anymore about these kind of things. Was it deception, back then? Was it an unavoidable process? Or did it happen partially because Jon pushed her away that time? As far as monsterhood goes, does it have to do with the nature of the Distortion itself? The Distortion sounds like a very particular case, since Helen uses “I” to refer to itself/herself, but also identifies with Michael Shelley and Helen Richardson, while also being able to detach itself/herself from them and refer to them in third person. It… fits The Spiral, obviously, and the whole identity-is-hard, and there is the question of how much what happened to Helen Richardson (being eaten/fusing with/being consumed by The Distortion) can be relevant to Jon’s own experience of… ~becoming~ The Archivist. Back in season 3, Jon had already regarded The Distortion as a “mantle” and was fearing that the same might apply to him – but Jon… did keep his personality, when Helen indeed doesn’t sound much like Helen Richardson anymore/is becoming more and more like Michael and an overall function…?

Though what remained (… officially, unless misleading/lying) is that Helen wanted to help and talk with Jon because Helen Richardson liked him. So, is Helen genuinely trying to “help” Jon by encouraging him to embrace his need to feed, because it’s indeed making him feel bad right now?

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: You… Why…? HELEN: Not sure. I suppose Helen didn’t have quite the same attachment to him as a project. I’m not quite as much for decades-long campaigns of subtle terror, these days. ARCHIVIST: [QUIET] … That’s horrible… HELEN: Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … Yes… HELEN: It would be better if you embraced it. ARCHIVIST: … It’s not… […] Were you controlled? HELEN: What a delightful thought! … I don’t believe so, no. But the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why? ARCHIVIST: I–I want to know; can The Web control another avatar, one that serves a different power? HELEN: [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] ARCHIVIST: Make them do things they don’t want to, make them… [BREATHING FASTER] find victims, feed? HELEN: [SLOWLY STOPS LAUGHING] Perhaps! Perhaps not. Would that make life easier for you? ARCHIVIST: [SHAKY EXHALE] HELEN: Are you so sure you didn’t want to? ARCHIVIST: [FRANTIC BREATHING] HELEN: [HELEN LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] [THE DOOR CREAKS CLOSED]

Or is Helen getting her kicks from tormenting him, because he’s confused, unsure of what is happening and of his own actions (=> food for Spiral)?

- Alright so: yeah, no, I don’t think it’s The Web, Jon. At most, She made him leave the Institute when he needed to feed and/or led him towards people with stories (possibly because She knew thanks to the Chelicerae?), through the lighter or something else. But then, Jon talking to them and getting their “stories”? Not, it’s The Eye, it’s The Archivist, it’s Jon, it’s his new status, it’s what his “choice” meant, and he’ll probably have to acknowledge it and come to terms with it (that he’s not only an “existential” monster with powers, but something who feeds from others’ pain). And it’s an influence, but Daisy had showed us that it’s not absolutely unavoidable… as long as you acknowledge the parts of you which are responsible for it.

- It’s not The Web, but we already had proof that She can manipulate avatars:

(MAG121) OLIVER: Honestly, I’m… still not exactly sure why I’m here. But… you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what She asks!

But not for Jon’s particular case, most likely. (And it’s… really the ideal culprit, for Jon, who hates spiders, who has been traumatised by them when he was just a little boy. But… probably not The Web here, and most likely having to do with himself. I don’t even think that Jon is actually fearing that he is controlled: as Helen highlighted, it would be more of a relief. Would that fear feed The Web although The Web did nothing? And what is the fear of learning that it was you all along, not something else making you do atrocious things?)

- Elias had told Jon he knew that Jon “had problems with moderation” (MAG092), there was the talk about Jon relentlessly seeking knowledge (MAG092, “In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see.”), even Georgie reminded Jon that he tended to be the one asking dangerous questions (MAG093, “You were always the one who pushed too far, and asked smart-arse, awkward questions.”)… so yes, he was a recipe for disaster re:spooky influence and addiction dealing a god of knowledge.

But the biggest question is HOW did Jon manage to stop smoking, around the time he joined the Institute? (MAG080 “I’m going to have a cigarette. […] Sorry, I’ve been quit for five years now”.) He began smoking again at an unknown time (Elias’s “He’s not smoking again, is he?” in MAG039, Jon had cigarettes on him in MAG080, MAG091 and MAG111…) but. He had stopped, once upon a time. Disaster who affirms that he Cannot Stop at every turn had managed to stop, a few years ago. How.

(Or was it “Ahaha, I’ve quit!” while he was still smoking five cigarettes a day, and in denial about that too.)

- Jon’s way of “defending” himself also tied in with bits that we had already seen previously, and which are In True Jon Fashion: rejecting responsibility when confronted, minimising, etc. It’s… a bit like what he did with Tim in MAG065? He tends to be fiercely defensive when called out about things that he did directly (while more easily accepting blame when things happened due to his inaction, or peripherical to him)…?

(He. Tends to really react like a kid, sometime, and. It’s really Jon. It’s the same Jon, reacting in Jon’s fashion.)

- Fun Thing: we began the season with “zombies” and here we are.

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE, INHALE] Statement of… er… Lorell St John, regarding… zombies. […] Right… Well, I guess we should probably… let one of the nurses know I’m awake. I’m sure they have all sorts of… tests to do. Make sure I’m not a… zombie, or…

(MAG146) BASIRA: I’ll tell you all what I find. Don’t let him eat anyone’s brain while I’m gone. ARCHIVIST: That’s not what I do.

(And, well. Basira had seen what he had done to Breekon, live.)

- I… am not 100% convinced yet that Martin indeed sent the tape to the Assistants, himself and deliberately. Because true, he was hesitating about finding a way for the tape to reach Jon:

(MAG142) MARTIN: I should probably try to get him this tape, let him know what happened, that someone came in to… But then, ahah, would that just come across as an accusation? Like, because I don’t wanna… And then, then I guess he’d… hear this bit as well, so… I… I… [LONG EXHALE] What do I do…?

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: Been a while since you’ve all come to see me together. I assume it’s… not good news. DAISY: No. MELANIE: What the hell have you been doing, Jon? BASIRA: Martin left a tape for us. [SHUFFLING NOISE] ARCHIVIST: And what exactly is on this t– … Oh… MELANIE: Yes.

… but on the other hand… we know that Martin can begin letters without sending them (MAG042 and Jon finding “an unfinished letter, addressed to his mother in Devon”), so… the most likely is that Martin indeed chose to send it, but I’m not shutting off other options: even if there was a message with it or something, it doesn’t mean that he had indeed sent it, and either Peter either The Web could have arranged for it to reach the Assistants’ hands given the… consequences of hearing the tape.

In any case, it’s probably Not What Martin Wanted, given how he had ranted about Jon jumping into danger at every opportunity, back in MAG142. (I’m curious about how he will react to this one.)

(- I’m glad that “Jess Tyrell” has a name! I was super-uncomfy with the “Bystander” back in MAG142 – and it’s… quite significant that Jon was able to tell her name, while Helen hadn’t been able to identify her victims with theirs. Though: how did Jon understand what the tape was about, in this episode…? Was there a label? Was it accompanied with the complaint? Martin himself didn’t know her name, so he wouldn’t have been able to write it on the paper, but then, Jon could immediately tell what it was about. How…?)

- Basira’s dryness, coldness and harshness towards Jon make… a lot of sense. Jon repeated time and time again that she could trust him, although she was extremely wary of him when he woke up. Her reactions in MAG143 (telling Jon that he didn’t have to face the Dark Sun) hinted that she had either warmed up to him since then, or had been forcing herself to be cautious all this time – at the very least, she wasn’t ready to see him sacrifice himself, she wasn’t ready to “use” him. And now, it turns out that… she had been partially right, when she was berating Jon for being a monster or not being what he seemed.

She snapped at him for taking Floyd’s statement in MAG141 but still allowed it to happen; The Dark’s ritual turned out to have been a bust, encouraged by Elias; and previously, Elias had sent her around on wild goose chases, explicitly acknowledging that he just wanted her to leave Jon alone to allow him to go inside of the coffin (… and Jon coming out of it was followed by a third victim). She’s been played by Elias; she accepted Jon’s actions; and turns out she didn’t manage to accomplish anything since Jon woke up. I’m not that surprised that she decided to rush it to Hill Top Road – Daisy had told Martin that she was prone to improvising, and in this case, it’s probably reinforced by her own personal frustrations? I don’t think that she believes that The Web is behind Jon’s actions – maybe she’s hoping, maybe she’s not; or it could be sheer anger at Jon and the desire to put him face-to-face with the fact that he did it all, that there was no Hidden Spider Forcing Him To Do Things. Or maybe a mix of everything. I don’t know.

- Now that Jon’s activities are known, I wonder how long it will be before the others learn that Basira’s intel had been Elias… I’m not sure that Jon hasn’t picked up on that (since we now have confirmation that he had been hiding things from the tapes for months). Daisy didn’t know about Floyd (which means that Basira had hidden this one from her, already), but making it known that she had been in contact with and listening to Elias all along… won’t go down easily with either Daisy (who had been coerced into working for him, with Basira as blackmail, after her own blackmail when Elias told her “statement never given”) or Melanie (the fact that Elias trapped her, and MAG106… ;;). They… still haven’t picked up on the fact that trying to keep Big Secrets in Beholding’s temple, while Elias is able to spy on them, is an ESPECIALLY bad idea, uh.

(;; And now, I’m afraid that Melanie and Daisy also have their list of Dirty Secrets accomplished during this season…)

(- I HATE HOW THIS SEASON BASICALLY FEELS LIKE ELIAS WINNING AT EVERYTHING, AAAAAARGGGG.

Because Bastard most likely knew and witnessed Jon feeding from people and extorting their statements?! And he mostly used Basira to cultivate Jon into using his powers: isolating him and extending the status quo until Jon would go inside of the coffin, playing on Jon’s uncertainty about The Dark’s activities to get him to meet the remnant of the cult.)

- About Hidden Activities: I’m really not sure that Melanie knows that Helen has been eating innocent people? She disliked Jon, but I doubt she would have been so casual with Helen in MAG131 if she had known?

- Meanwhile, yes, Basira is utterly biased about Daisy, but… she kinda… had a point…

(MAG146) MELANIE: [EXHALE] So. What do we do, now? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know. BASIRA: You’re a danger, Jon. A monster. You’re hurting innocent people. ARCHIVIST: So did Daisy…! BASIRA: Shut up! It’s not the same thing at all. DAISY: Basira… [EXHALE] He has a point. BASIRA: You didn’t know what you were doing! DAISY: [SIGH] BASIRA: And since you did, you’ve spent every waking hour resisting. He knows exactly what he’s doing. ARCHIVIST: I don’t–! Uh, it’s not that simple, it–it feels… [BREATHING QUICKENING] … I don’t know if I can control it, I don’t know if it’s even me doing it…!

Because unlike Daisy, Jon had the knowledge about monsters: Elias excluded, he was the person in the Institute who knew the most about them and what they did. And he kept telling the others to trust him, while hiding the harm he was causing from them. Since she came back, Daisy took responsibility, insisting that it was her, although she wasn’t proud of it and was regretting it; Jon… is currently trying to shift the blame on something else. Daisy made sacrifices since she came back (not going with them to fight The Dark, avoiding thinking too much about Elias…); Jon… didn’t even try at all…? And I really think that it wouldn’t hurt the others as much if Jon hadn’t shown some understanding of their situations, encouraging them to get better, while he (Jon “One thing I’ve learned, Daisy, is that we all get a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.” Sims) himself apparently didn’t try. Even for unspooky things: while Melanie went to therapy, Jon only passive-aggressively confirmed that Georgie wouldn’t accompany him, when she brought it up. Even Jess… had recalled how she had fought to heal and get better:

(MAG142) JESS: So. It… It took a long time to get over that. I mean… That’s not weird, right? I mean, it was a bad time. You know? It–it stays with you. I was signed off for, what, probably about six months, with the injuries? I had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean… Obviously, right? But, uh, but–but I did my physio, and, you know, talked wi–with the counsellor they gave me? Look, I did everything I was supposed to, and–and yeah, I… I guess I was fine. You know, once the bruises were gone, I… Well, it’s easy to blame memory, right? You know, ha–hallucination, coincidence, all the… classic shite you tell yourself. Look, life went back to… normal, I… I was fine. Until… [CHOKING] about two weeks ago. MARTIN: And that was when you met J– … Er, one of our employees. JESS: … That’s when he showed up.

And both Daisy and Melanie, who had been under influence, acknowledged their feelings and actions as their own:

(MAG131) MELANIE: And then, one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it. Tells me it’s right. That it’s me. It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it.

(MAG142) MARTIN: Oh, that can’t– that can’t… I mean, it’s not him, is it? Not, not really? It’s, what, addiction, instinct, maybe mind control, something like that? I… can’t believe he’d choose to do something like that. … No, no, I, I can’t think like that, though, I, I can’t let myself, ‘cause I mean, if, if he’s already gone, then all of this is just…

(MAG142) MARTIN: It’s alright. Wasn’t you. [INHALE] Not really. DAISY: No, it was. I hate… a lot of what I did back then; doesn’t mean I’m not… responsible for it, doesn’t mean it… wasn’t me.

Of course, Jon has his issues. Daisy was right about him having PTSD, being self-destructive, being plagued by survivor’s guilt. He’s probably depressed, hence the aimlessness and his whole sinking (the fact that Martin cut all ties was stated multiple times to make him brood). And he’s still acknowledging that what is happening to innocent people is wrong (and it is genuine, and not only a reaction to match the Assistants’ outrage: he was upset, before, both on his own and in front of Helen).

But Jon is not “only” a victim anymore, like he was in season 3: now, he actively causes harm, he hurts people. The way Jess described her life in MAG142, it got utterly ruined and there is likely no fixing (she was in obvious distress, she couldn’t work anymore, couldn’t function; even if she’s supposed to live like this for the rest of her life, we just got Helen mentioning that one of her victims had died of “natural” causes due to his terror – with the amount of stress Jess is put under, she probably won’t live long, and if it’s manifesting like this for the four others… neither will they?).

- That said, I DON’T WANT TIM TO HAVE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT IT, GDI…

(MAG114) TIM: So, why don’t you “Archivist” me, then? Just pull it straight out. ARCHIVIST: Because I don’t want to! I am not your enemy, Tim. TIM: [DISMISSIVELY] Like that matters! These things aren’t human. It’s… instinct. You can’t not. ARCHIVIST: [SOFTLY] I’m still me, Tim. [TIM HUFFS] I’m still… me.

And getting confirmation that no, it’s nooot The Web making him feed, could act as a wake-up call? Or… actually listening to Jess’s tape could, maybe. Because the portrayal she made of Jon was especially upsetting:

(MAG142) JESS: But he just starts talking. Slowly. But real intense. He says he works here, at the–the Magnus Institution and I say what even is that, and he says he wants my story. He says he needs to hear what happened to me. And I… I wanted to tell him to–to–to to go away, I–I wanted to–to to kick him, and run. But… I… [SHAKY DUMBFOUNDED EXHALE] I sit down. […] It felt like… like I was throwing up all those feelings again, and I wanted to, to scream, but instead I just… sat, and calmly told him my life story, and he just watched me. His eyes, like… his eyes, like, we–were… drinking in every fragment of my misery. I can’t… It… [PAUSE] And then it was over. And he looked… he looked at me like he’d just eaten… like, a perfectly cooked steak. You know what he said? He said: “Thank you.” “Thank you,” just like that. Like… like reliving the worst parts of my whole life were just a bit of a… a favour, that I’d done him. And then he left, and, and I… I just sat there, and cried for a while.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Jess Tyrell, the woman on the tape… [SIGH] She was the fourth. I–I just tried to… I was weak, r–ravenous, I–I didn’t feel… […] I don’t–! Uh, it’s not that simple, it–it feels… [BREATHING QUICKENING] … I don’t know if I can control it, I don’t know if it’s even me doing it…!

And the Whole Thing came up now, not at the end of the season. Which raises the question: why should Jon be kept alive…? The fact that the assistants directly confronted him is a proof that they didn’t totally antagonise him (they would have plotted and thought about a way to get rid of him if they genuinely thought he was… over and done with. There is still the coffin in Artefact Storage.) but… if Jon isn’t even trying to be kept in check, if he’s fated to target innocent people, if he’s not trying to find a way to control it (nor tried to warn the others about it, to be contained or monitored)… there is absolutely nothing differentiating him from the monsters we previously saw? And there is the added looming threat of The Watcher’s Crown? I don’t think the overall conclusion will be that yes, he would have been better off dying, and that Tim actively trying to die was The Only Respectable Way Out. I think there is probably still ways to do something meaningful in their current situation? But there is the fact that, right now, Jon isn’t paying the price of his powers anymore (his victims are) and that, as far as they know, there is nothing else than The Eye’s ritual in front of them.

- It feels like what’s currently happening also had to do with Jon’s overall passivity regarding his powers. He had told Georgie, in season 3, that he couldn’t stop his research. He had realised, in America, that he was indeed dependant of statements, and had decided, at that moment, to just accept it since he didn’t have the time to interrogate it (since there was The Unknowing coming closer – but after he woke up, Jon didn’t have… much to do, and it would have been the moment to ponder about it). It was highlighted with Jon’s passivity around the tape recorders, contrasting with how Basira had chosen to… woosh them away:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: And we’ve got an audience. Perfect. I thought you said you decided to throw them all out. BASIRA: Yup. And I did. And here’s another one. ARCHIVIST: Maybe it’s hungry. BASIRA: Seriously? ARCHIVIST: I mean, I did have a statement I was planning to record. BASIRA: Great. Perfect. You can get on with that, and I’ll just leave, then.

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: [DRY EXALE] There was a tape recorder waiting for me when I sat down. They’re not even hiding it anymore. There weren’t any tapes from when I was… away – I checked. Whatever they are, they are here for me. I suppose I should be worried, but I have so much to keep watch over. So I’ve decided to let the tapes run. They’ve… proved useful before, so… [TINY CHUCKLE]

(MAG146) MELANIE: [EXHALE] Why didn’t you record them? BASIRA: Why do you think? Because he was ashamed. ARCHIVIST: No! I don’t– … I–I mean, I don’t record anything anymore, not… not really, I just… sort of assume they’ll… turn on, if it’s important. BASIRA: Well, they didn’t. ARCHIVIST: … No, I suppose not.

(Also: eff you, tape recorders, for not thinking that these people’s stories were Important :<)

And it was also shown in the way Jon… kept saying that he couldn’t control his Knowing:

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: [STATIC] Look, I don’t know, Basira. I hope I’m still human, but it… but it’s seeming more and more unlikely. BASIRA: … I didn’t ask. ARCHIVIST: No, I suppose you didn’t. BASIRA: Don’t snoop in my head. ARCHIVIST: I’m not “snooping”, I’m not looking. That’s not… how this works.

(MAG128) BASIRA: You heard me. Don’t ask about them, and don’t know about them either. ARCHIVIST: I can’t exactly control that! BASIRA: Learn.

(MAG133) DAISY: [BREATHING HEAVILY] Basira said you could just… “know” all this now anyway. ARCHIVIST: Yeah, it’s… I–I can’t really… control it.

(And unless he lied to us about it too, he kinda managed to keep in check for Martin’s and Basira’s activities, in the end, when they pressed him to stop? So… maybe, sadly, being firm and cutting Jon on his bullshit is the only way to get him to actively try to hold on.)

- Daisy seemed to have picked up on a pattern regarding Jon’s feeding, though, which is that they happened after he used his powers in new ways and/or experienced another Fear and/or got hurt by spooks:

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Jess Tyrell, the woman on the tape… [SIGH] She was the fourth. I–I just tried to… I was weak, r–ravenous, I–I didn’t feel… … The first was a supermarket cleaner. Em, ended up lost for a week in an endless warehouse. I didn’t even…! I–I just went in for some shopping, and he was there, and I–I just… asked. The second was, uh, it was after I got… stabbed by Melanie. MELANIE: You are not putting this on me! ARCHIVIST: No, that’s not what I meant! [SIGH] I was walking the streets, I–I thought I was trying to clear my head– DAISY: [DELIBERATE] But you were hunting. ARCHIVIST: … Apparently. I found a woman who… every year on her birthday, wakes up in a fresh grave. Just for her. DAISY: And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST: A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever-darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started… weeping maggots.

So: first one after waking up from the “coma”, second after using his powers to see and remove Melanie’s bullet (and getting stabbed), third after coming out of the coffin, Jess Tyrell… after trying to peer through the Lonely (at the end of MAG139). There is still Floyd: why was he recorded? Is it because he had been involved with someone we already knew (Salesa)? And how come there was nothing after The Dark – is it because Floyd worked as a power up/healing by anticipation?

- I’m sad for Daisy!! ;; Daisy, who had spent time around Jon, who had shared things (The Archers!!) with Jon, and who was giving the impression that she was pulling him off… She sounded like she could understand the mechanism, but at the same time, Jon… didn’t tell her. Too ashamed? Not trusting her enough? So deep in denial…?

- DAISY CALLED MELANIE “MEL”!!! FRIENDS!!!

(MAG112) DAISY: Couldn’t find Tim, but he’s gone with Martin and… the other one. BASIRA: Melanie. DAISY: Sure.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: … So we’re going with her. DAISY: [SIGH] Come on, Mel. I’ll see if I’ve got a stab vest in your size. MELANIE: … Yeah. Sure.

Daisy came so far, with her ;w;

- On the one hand, it’s hilarious, indeed, that Melanie acts like a voice of reason.

(MAG146) MELANIE: Uh, okay, seriously. [CHAIR SQUEAKING] I–I’m going to have to be the one to point out that this is a terrible idea? BASIRA: Daisy? DAISY: … Be better if we could prepare. MELANIE: I–I just think that… we shouldn’t be exposing ourselves like this until we have a little bit more than a hunch…!

… On the other hand, we still don’t know if her therapist is a Regular Therapist or a potentially Web-y spook, so the fact that she was inciting the others to not go to Hill Top Road… could be due to an influence. … Or not, and it’s just regular therapy putting some common sense into her.

- The Annabelle mentions were interesting because:

(MAG146) BASIRA: … So you say you’re being controlled. ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know. Maybe? Th–The Web, it– BASIRA: What, what was the name you said before? Annabelle Cane? ARCHIVIST: … Yes, uh, she’s… she’s been watching us, I–I’m pretty sure of it… DAISY: Jon… I’m not sure there’s actually the– BASIRA: No. No, if he is being controlled, we need to know. And we need to know now. Do you know where she is? ARCHIVIST: H… Not… not properly, I, I think she has some connection to Hill Top Road.

1°) … we have no connection between Annabelle and Hill Top Road as of now, except that both are Web-business. (Not all Spiders, Jon.)

2°) When Jon discussed about Annabelle Cane in MAG136, it was actually with Daisy! So either Jon has been sharing some thoughts about her with Basira, either Daisy told Basira (which would match with Daisy communicating overall!).

- On the one hand, Jon hypothesising that The Web could be behind the fact that he has been attacking people sounds like something he might have thought about because he just heard Gertrude (another Archivist) mentioning how she had been manipulated into doing what She wanted, in her own youth:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: Alright. Agnes: how’d you do it? Never did understand it, not really. GERTRUDE: Ah. That’s a fair enough question. [PAUSE] It was… The Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident – but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations. I was very new to it all, of course. I mean, I was, what? Can’t have been older than… twenty-five. […] Like I said, mm, I was young. Naïve. I somehow found just the right books, made just the right connections, and even got what I thought was a piece of blind good luck, when I found a tin box in the ashes of Hilltop Road, containing some perfectly preserved cuttings of her hair. Of course, what I thought was a “banishment ritual” turned out… not to be. The circle I constructed was more of a… an invitation. It let the Mother of Puppets bind me to Agnes, interweave our existences at some… metaphysical level, as it had with Fielding and the house. … It was the most painful experience of my life.

On the other hand, Jon… researched quite a bit about the notion of “control” this season, and thinking all along that he might be puppeteered could have been the reason behind that?

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: The Web does seem to have a preference for those who prefer not to assert themselves. […] Perhaps a coincidence, just… people… shopping their traumatic event around… but I have to wonder… how much their actions were their own.

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: In many ways, The Slaughter fascinates me. There seems to be, in all cases, a question at its heart about… control. Is it a mindless dance, dragging participants along by the beat of a drum or… is there a kernel of will in there, a lucidity and deliberateness to the random fury and violence? I suppose that’s the question with so much of “violence”, “war”: how much are you really in command of yourself or of others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately, we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalisation.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere.

(MAG136) DAISY: You think I’m weak, just… [SIGH] ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me? ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection [CHUCKLE] between free will and humanity. Still trying to figure that out myself. [SILENCE] DAISY: Jon… when you went into the coffin. Was it you choosing to do that? Did you actually think you could save me, or was… that something telling you to do it? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: It was me. I was… drawn to it, I’ll admit, but it was my decision.

Though it was, once again, a consideration which was also relevant to his Beholding powers (the fact that he knew things unprompted).

- Since Peter mentioned his belief that The Extinction could have been born from The End, although taking an active form, I still wonder if that could have been the case originally between The Eye and The Web, or if they aren’t currently merging due to the information&control-related fears being especially overlapping with our era’s development of the means of communication…

There have been so many moments, this season, in which I wondered “is it the Web, or Beholding?”, and especially in the way Jon got dragged towards x or y statement. Trying to get an overview of season 4 regarding the nature of statements and how Jon stumbled upon them (when he was the one reading or listening), there are… recurring threads? (ha.)

* MAG121: Oliver’s statement, about choices; Web interested in Jon.

* MAG122: (Statement brought by Basira; feeling like the only person left in the world)

* MAG123: Web & Annabelle, link with the Institute

* MAG124: (Simon Fairchild casually feeding)

* MAG125: Slaughter statement, notion of “control”, led to Melanie’s surgery

* MAG126: Pre-Spiral ritual

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: … I remembered Gertrude’s notebook […]. I’ve been staring at it for hours, in the hope something from it would just… come to me. And it worked well enough to point me towards this statement, which is… useful background, and perhaps gives some insight into how Gertrude formulated her counter-rituals, but… not much more.

* MAG127: Jonah Magnus & Beholding (Albrecht)

(MAG127) BASIRA: And what was that you were doing yesterday? ARCHIVIST: … When…? BASIRA: You were sat on the floor for like four hours. ARCHIVIST: … Oh! Er, n–n–no, I was, er, I was… listening. Y’know, it’s, trying to see if any of the statements… called to me. BASIRA: And? ARCHIVIST: [FLIPS PAPER]

* MAG128: Breekon’s visit, Jon “extracting” his statement; going towards Daisy’s rescue

* MAG129: Buried statement, notion of “anchor”, going towards Daisy’s rescue

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading. I assume this one is related to the coffin. To Daisy.

* MAG130: Flesh ritual (Lucia Wright surviving it), nudging towards Flesh-as-anchor or Jared (kept in Helen’s corridors), towards Daisy’s rescue. Tape explicitly sent by The Web.

(MAG130) ARCHIVIST: I found this tape tucked in the corner of my desk drawer. [AGGRAVATED SIGH] Covered in cobwebs. I suppose subtlety is gone out the window a bit. And the question is now simply … how much I trust the Spider to have my… best interests at heart. … Hm. I suspect my assuming it has a heart might be a clue I’m looking at this the wrong way. […] what is it trying to tell me with this? Is it about… rituals? About getting Daisy back? About… about an anchor. What was it she said, “the siren call of Flesh”… Hm. It’s possible, I suppose.

* MAG131: Jared’s story (bit of Flesh ritual), notion of “anchor” through Jon’s ribs, going towards Daisy’s rescue

* MAG132: Coffin trip, Daisy’s rescue

* MAG133: Hunt ritual (Percy Fawcett surviving it)

(* MAG134: Martin reading Adelard Dekker’s letter about The Extinction)

* MAG135: Pre-Dark ritual

* MAG136: Web & Annabelle, link with the Institute

* MAG137: Slaughter ritual (Wallis Turner surviving it)

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: There’s a box of tapes and statements in the corner. Obviously those Elias either didn’t feel he could trust me with yet, or maybe just the ones he was checking himself. […] So I just took the first one that called to me, and it’s… [DRY NASAL EXHALE] It’s good. I suppose.

(* MAG138: Martin reading Robert Smirke’s letter to Jonah Magnus, warning him about The Watcher’s Crown/Beholding)

* MAG139: Desolation, Agnes, Hill Top Road

* MAG140: (Statement brought by Basira; about The Dark’s ritual attempts)

* MAG141: Jon feeding on Floyd, statement regarding Salesa’s activities and (presumed) death. The tape recorder activated on its own.

(* MAG142: Martin taking Jess Tyrell’s complaint, about how Jon had attacked her two weeks ago.)

* MAG143: (Jon making Manuela give her statement about the failure of The Dark’s ritual)

(* MAG144: Martin reading an Extinction statement)

* MAG145: Desolation, Agnes, Hill Top Road, “anchor”, The Web manipulating an Archivist and tying them to another avatar in order to neutralise Agnes (/Gertrude too?).

(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: And here? I reached out, I took another tape, eh!, hoping for a bit of guidance, but… [HUFF] To be honest, this hasn’t helped.

* MAG146: Spiral-statement, Hill Top Road.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: So it seems we did have Marcus McKenzie’s statement after all. I spent so long looking for it, back when I found his father’s, and… no luck. But now, I decide to start looking properly into Hill Top Road, and all of a sudden… I’m drawn to rearrange a filing cabinet – and what do I find behind it?

When Jon “knows” something, it’s clearly Beholding, no problem. But when he feels the “call” of a statement, is it Beholding/the Archives, or is it The Web making him take one, and Jon rationalising that he had felt something? Most statements, this season, have involved Web and/or getting the means to save his assistants (/getting involved with other Fears), and/or learning about rituals – and now, about Hill Top Road. A lot of them seem possibly… pointed?

- Same old questions: we can guess that The Web has plans for Jon, hence the lighter, hence sending Handsome mlm Death Prophet Oliver to convince him to choose avatardom, hence the cobwebs following him around (Jon mentioned them in MAG123), hence revealing itself when sending him MAG130’s tape (and encouraging him to go inside of the coffin, and possibly helping him come out of it, if it was indeed The Web which made Martin set up the tape recorders around it?). But ~what does the Spider want~? Is Jon supposed to fix the “scar in reality” left by Agnes&Fielding’s fight, somehow, since he managed to do things that had never been accomplished before (getting out of the coffin) and has proven that he could “kill” powerful phenomenon (seeing the Dark Sun)? And what is Her stance on The Watcher’s Crown, amongst other things…? Is She just there to enjoy the show, is She worried about something (The Extinction?) or has She decided to jump on The Watcher’s Crown’s bandwagon, or does She want to make sure it doesn’t happen?

Georgie had been the one to recommend that Jon find “anchors”, back in season 3, but season 4 expanded the meaning of the word: “anchors” as a way to escape the clutch of a Fear, an “anchor” as a way to neutralise a Chosen One – and Jon likened his own situation to Agnes (MAG139), before learning that she had been bound to an Archivist to put the Desolation’s activities on hold (MAG145), by The Web itself. If The Web was indeed behind a majority of Jon’s readings and researches lately (after all, Gertrude highlighted how The Web had manipulated her through her researches, by orientating her towards specific books and materials!), everything could sound like it’s supposed to slowly introduce Jon to the concept of being, himself, bound to something/someone…?

(- We’ve been putting so much excitement on the prospect of seeing Annabelle, of thinking that Annabelle is currently pulling all the strings, though… that I can’t help but wonder. What if she is actually… dead. Because that would strike quite the blow on a lot of things re: who is currently in control.)

- Practical questions regarding the Hill Top Road trip, from London to Oxford

* Are they going by train? Or by car, and if by car, who’s driving (Basira and Daisy both can drive, it has been mentioned), and does that mean Melanie will get stuck with Jon in the back seats?

* Will they actually reach Hill Top Road, or will something happen before. (Web preventing them from doing so, or even… lonely endless road, courtesy of Peter, if Martin hears about the Expedition and threatens to stop doing his spreadsheets?)

* Will the tree still be there…? Anya had seen it in April 2009 (MAG114) although Ivo Lensik had uprooted it in November 2006, the night of Agnes’s death (MAG008)… (And there was the tree burning in MAG127, that Albrecht/~the master~ had wanted “dead”…)

* What or who will they find, if they manage to reach Hill Top Road? They certainly won’t take The Web by surprise, so if they meet some of Her agents, it will be because She consented to it. Annabelle herself? Another Web avatar? Melanie’s therapist, if she isn’t Annabelle herself? Oliver, once again as a messenger? Adelard Dekker? Weird ghosts from the past haunting the place (Agnes or Raymond)? A Giant Big Spider? Or nobody, and only an item? A message? A Guest For Mr. Spider, for Jon to have a breakdown? Elias and Peter’s 9th marriage certificate from the last four years? A tape or a statement giving them a clue?

Alriiiiiiiiiiight alright alright, unless we’re being dramatically misled, title for MAG147 promises ~Web stuff~. Part of me is a bit sad, because the… exact title had been used for a while by the fandom to refer to something/someone Very Specifically, and it probably means that past that episode, it will be entirely jossed and we won’t be able to use it the same way – but eh, that’s the deal with Speculation overall. Other part of me is “YIIIIIIIIIIIIH” because. Yep. That’s it. Something Is Coming.

Forms of the title have been roughly used by Martin in MAG117 and Elias in MAG106 (and other times, but those two uses stuck with me), but it’s probably going to be about… Annabelle? Although it doesn’t match her official title of ~the Story Spinner~ used in MAG123. It could be something else Web-related, though – we… don’t know much about Raymond Fielding except for how he was getting Babies in the house, technically? Or something else entirely?

As for Events… Martin meeting Peter’s friend (who is a “he”) is still pending, so it could be that, just to make us even more impatient about the Hill Top Road trip. Or it could also be Annabelle or another spider visiting him while the others are off. Or it could be the group at Hill Top Road, so soon. Any of these cases would mean: DREAD. /o/

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #tma liveblog #mag146 #tma season 4 #the magnus archives #long post/#tma spoilers/

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justine-the-guillotine · 5 years

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Hey there! I saw your post (about Mystic Code) on LucyDream's tumblr. Love how you're in your 30's but still playing otome games! I'm the same, but I'm in this world just recently. Can you make a list with your favorite visual novels and otome games? I love those ones with a more mature MC. I mean your can be cute/fun and still be sassy/adult hehe I miss it sometimes...

Okay Anon first of all I’m trash because I told you I would have this out the day you asked it and I totally didn’t so I’m sorry I don’t even know if you’re going to see this. 😩 But you need to know that THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE QUESTION I HAVE EVER BEEN ASKED AND I LOVE YOU A LOT.

Anyway, I have a lot to say about this and here’s what I’m gonna say first - there’s a lot of layers to this question so let me just... write a novel.

Important Note #1: I don’t know that you necessarily want to consider me some kind of expert on otoge with adult MCs. My favorite VN of all time is not an otome game and it is also not with a “mature MC”... you play as a 16-year old boy in Fate/Stay Night. But it’s such a good VN, if you can find it I totally recommend it. I will rave about it for DAYS so if you also want an essay about that please let me know.

Important Note #2: Some little, technical things... - there is a difference between “mature MC” and “older MC” so I’m gonna kinda do a mix of both... but also going to include “older suitors” or “suitors with no canon age” in this criteria as well. - I prefer PC games to mobile games but play mobile more often due to convenience... -I own a lot of games that I’m super interested in and have actually never gotten around to playing because I have both a time management problem and a shopping problem. So there are probably some even better choices than what I’m about to list from personal experience and maybe I’ll just come back and update this in a few months. Moving on... Here are my current top favorite VNs (otoge or not): 1. Fate/Stay Night (PC) 2. When the Night Comes (PC) 3. The Arcana (Mobile) 4. Amnesia (PC and Mobile) 5. Mystic Code (Mobile) My favorite mobile VNs: I’m gonna tell you right now this list is gonna change on July 1st when Ikemen Vampire comes out... watch that immediately jump to the #2 spot but as of right now I haven’t played it so I can’t do that. 1. The Arcana 2. Ikemen Revolution 3. Mystic Code 4. Mystic Messenger (this is iffy to call this a VN in my opinion but VNDB lists it so I’m going go with it) 5. Mysterious Forum and 7 Rumors My favorite PC VNs (otoge or not): This list is a big oof to be honest because there are so many games I am really interested in but haven’t yet played. For example, I have 20+ unplayed games in my Steam library right now. 1. Fate/Stay Night 2. When the Night Comes 3. Amnesia: Memories 4. Higurashi no Naku Koro ni 5. Cinderella Phenomenon Now those are my favorites, but here instead are my actual recommendations for you personally Anon: Recommendations for VNs with a More Mature MC: 1. When the Night Comes (PC, Free to Play) I absolutely adore this VN. It is the best otoge/dating sim I have ever played (thus far). But that’s because it caters to a lot of my interests - it’s definitely not going to hit the mark for everyone! The MC has no canon age or gender. You can date a human, witches, a vampire, a Lycan, and a demon. There are even two route options for poly romance. THE WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. I mean the story is great, yes, but THE FUCKING LANGUAGE is totally everything I love. It is very snarky, witty, and British. Swearing in places one would swear in real life. Sarcastic, “roll my eyes at myself” jokes that one would make in real life. Things are dark but with a sliver of hope. MC is a fucking badass and very much a mature adult. It’s currently being updated monthly (chapter 8 comes out tomorrow - 6/29) so we only have two more months left and then we’re done :( 2. The Arcana (Mobile, Free to Play, with Premium Options) Please be cautious when interacting with this fandom, especially right now. But besides that warning, The Arcana is amazing. It is also currently still updating. But the MC again has no canon age nor gender. And as a plus, as far as I am aware, the suitors do not have canon ages as well. I wish all games would have no canon suitor ages but I digress. The story sorta starts as a murder mystery but evolves into something much more. It is magical. It incorporates tarot so well. The art is absolutely gorgeous. The MC is not at all helpless and definitely holds their own.

3. Cinderella Phenomenon (PC, Free to Play) Okay so MC in this one is NOT an adult. She’s 17, I believe. But she’s a bitch and I love her. I genuinely love the plot of this VN. The art is very pretty - very art nouveau. If you like twists on fairy tails, some snark, and a story of... uh, learning how to be less of a bitch ... this one is a great play!

4. Mystic Code (Mobile, Free to Play, with Premium Options) I’m not gonna elaborate on this here since Anon already knows about it but I want to remind people reading this that I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS VN... I believe it is the best game to come out on mobile thus far this year. 5. Love Tangle in the Niflheim+ (Mobile, Free to Play with Premium Options, Abandoned) So... normally I would never recommend a Shall We Date game as a top choice, however, this game is SWD’s only exception. It, of course, has the god awful mechanics that all SWD games have, which could make it a bit annoying to play. This game has also unfortunately been abandoned by SWD so there are NO updates to it. Luckily, all the routes (save for one, I’m pretty sure they were planning to release Sunny’s route prior to abandoning) are out and in full. MC has no canon age and it doesn’t matter because she’s fucking dead. Your suitors are also dead. This is the best premise of a fucking story I have ever seen. As with most SWD games, the writing is a hit or a miss depending on the route, but the MC is mature and strong-willed - never helpless. (One thing I will give SWD is they tend to write their MCs with a bit of *bite* in them.) The writing has some well-timed comedic moments so it definitely keeps you entertained!! I originally started playing just for the novelty of it but I actually genuinely love it. Plus MC has the best hair of all the MCs I have ever seen.

Additionally, I recommend both Ikemen Sengoku and Ikemen Revolution (Mobile, FTP w/ Premium Options). The MC usually has her shit together although she does have her moments of “oh no baby what is you doing?” And in both games, she’s a young adult, not anywhere near 30 but I still find I have no problem self-inserting. Other games: - Hustle Cat (PC, $) - I have yet to play, but it was recommended to me by two people I trust when it comes to these types of games. It seems to be geared toward adults and as far as I am aware, MC is customizable in not only pronouns but build as well. - Mr. Love Queen’s Choice (Mobile, mostly FTP) - I do play this and I enjoy it. I wouldn’t really recommend it for a “mature” MC (even though she is a young adult who runs a company), but I mod a MLQC discord server and noticed a lot of our members are in the late 20s-30s. So obviously this game appeals to an “older” market (har har, I just mean ��older” than 21). It’s a VN at its core, but it’s got so much extra shit going on that it can be overwhelming unless you like those sort of games. The story part of it is really, really good. And the MC gets equal time with all the suitors (instead of specifically just choosing one route to date). - Food Fantasy (Mobile, mostly FTP) - this isn’t a VN and I don’t think it’s technically an otoge either- it’s a JRPG- but oh my goodness the art is fucking gorgeous, and the backstory that sets up the game is WILD, dark, and deep. It blew my mind. It’s cute! So I had to throw it in here in case you were looking for something fun. :) And finally, VNs on my “To-Play” List: - Ikemen Vampire (Mobile) - this is coming out in just a few days and I have been waiting for 8 months, so I’m super stoked! - Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly (PC and Vita, $) - The House in Fata Morgana (PC, $) - Clannad (PC, $$) - Tokyo Debunker (Mobile) - as far as I know there’s no official release date yet, unfortunately! :( Anyway please message me more if you have any more questions or want to know anything else, I love this shit thank you!!! Depending on the question I’ll try not to write a thesis paper next time :[

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therappundit · 5 years

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The Best of the 1st Half -*2019 Pundit’s PlayLi$t*

Yeah so quite a bit has gone down since the ball dropped.

Everyone talks about how having a baby can change a person, but in my opinion it doesn’t change a person as much as it evolves a person into someone that can still love all of the stuff they always loved, *plus* a little person that they now put before anything else in their day to day life. My friends, that is where I am at in this moment in life. No, I do not write as much as I used to, but I’m happier now than have been in some time, and I love music just as much as I ever did. I am still learning the balance, but I’m also pretty excited to have a little daughter that I will be able to share my highly opinionated thoughts on hip-hop with, whether she wants to hear them or not (most likely not).

These rankings are based on the following key factors: my personal favorites (this is technically not just a list of my favorite songs), plus songs that I thought were especially well done or influential (even if they may not have resonated me as much as everyone else), diverse (I didn’t want to have 10 songs from the same artist, but I would have if I was only basing this list on personal faves), especially strong production and/or verses, and the song had to be officially released prior to July 1st.

As for the year in rap music in general up through the close of June, it has been a strong one. What the genre has lacked in strong “mainstream” releases, it has made up for with enough fantastic underground hip-hop projects that belong in steady rotation for a long time. So here it is, at last, my list of the best rap songs of the first half of 2019… 🙏

1. “Palmolive” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib feat. Pusha T & Killer Mike

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSn_r2w-idg

(Bandana is quite an album, and “Palmolive” is quite a song. One terrific verse from Freddie, a great hook from Killer Mike, and then a verse of the year front runner with Pusha’s verse, all over a soulful Madlib back-drop?? Yikes. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib have made all rap fans very proud in 2019.)

2. “Thank God” - Tree

https://soundcloud.com/mctreeg/thank-god?in=mctreeg/sets/wegrownnow

(Tree’s We Grown Now is such an amazing album. I can’t recall the last time I heard a project that felt like a living, breathing work of art that logs the life of a man that has been through life’s ups and downs and is just happy to be here to talk about it.)

3. “Crown For Kings” - Benny feat. Black Thought

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtTu_TC3f6A

(Blown away. Black Thought and Griselda?? Bars on top of bars on top of bars...two verse of the year contenders, easily.)

4. “Ricky” - Denzel Curry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WHm6tfvKlk

(As soon as you press play, you can feel the humidity coming off of this song as if we were in the crowd with Curry down in Florida. A wonderful homage to his father, and the Carol City of which he hails.)

5. “Massage Seats” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/massage-seats?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(Smooth as Helllll. “This ain’t for soccer mamas this is for the underground” is right.)

6. “Funeral March (The Dirge)” - Your Old Droog feat. Mach-Hommy

https://soundcloud.com/your-old-droog/funeral-march-the-dirge-feat?in=your-old-droog/sets/it-wasnt-even-close-1

(One of the hardest sounding songs in recent memory. I can hear these too aggressive rhymers do this all day.)

7. “Crime Pays” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/crime-pays?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(So quintessential to Bandana’s vibe this thing feels like it has a pulse. I was listening to this on my walk home the other day and it put me in such a breezy headspace, I can’t even describe it any other way than simply saying it’s another classic Madlib production.)

8. “5 to 50” - Benny feat. India

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQGRPxrHtjI

(Captivating. Benny and The Alchemist join forces to concoct a song so real it makes 90% of drug dealer talk in rap music sound phony.)

9. “There U R” - Tree

https://soundcloud.com/mctreeg/there-u-r?in=mctreeg/sets/wegrownnow

(Give this man his flowers now. There are a lot of talented artists in rap music, but none tackle a song like an old Blues man...none except Tree, that is.)

10. “Freestyle Shit” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/freestyle-s-t?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(Pffffew, that Gibbs delivery....right from the get-go on the album’s first song it’s so clear that Bandana is a special project.)

11. “Sunday School” - Benny feat. 38 Spesh & Jadakiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ero1Xexyhs

(Good luck picking the best verse here! All three kill it, but Spesh may end up pulling ahead with a few key haymakers.)

12. “Situations” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/situations?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(One of Bandana’s more minimalistic instrumentals, and it takes off thanks to the jet pack provided by Gibbs’ absolutely sensational contributions on this one.)

13. “Cokewhite” - Goldlink feat. Pusha T

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zCGiHhTxMM

(One of a few verse of the year contenders from King Push.)

14. “Funeral” - Tree & Parallel Thought

https://parallelthought1.bandcamp.com/track/funeral

(I hope with all of my heart that songs like this aren’t part of Tree’s process of letting go of the music biz, but even if it is, what a beautiful way to go out.)

15. “Bandana” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib feat. Assassin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWCciqqzno4

(While it may not have made the final cut of the Bandana album that shares it’s name, this reggae-tinged Madlib blessed riot starter has been one of my favorite songs of the year since it dropped and it keeps feeling better to me.)

16. “Flights” - Tree

https://soundcloud.com/mctreeg/flights?in=mctreeg/sets/wegrownnow

(Tree kills it with the autobiographical joints, and this soulful walk down memory lane is as enthralling as an audio diary.)

17. “To Whom It May Concern” - Jim Jones feat. Cam'ron, Guordan Banks, Benny The Butcher and Conway

https://soundcloud.com/jim-jones-capo/to-whom-it-may-concern-feat-camron-guordon-banks-benny-the-butcher-conway-the-machine?in=jim-jones-capo/sets/el-capo

(A Dipset and Griselda collaboration is enough to make someone like me get emotional...anyone have a tissue, this Benny-Cam’ron-Conway back to back series is too much to handle!?)

18. “Dominate” - DJ Muggs & Eto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxjTKqpMHIE

(Straight menace music. Muggs & Eto would have made Mobb Deep proud with “Dominate”...especially Muggs, this beat is brutal!)

19. “Under The Train (Transporting)” - Your Old Droog

https://soundcloud.com/your-old-droog/under-the-train-transporting-1

(Droog’s Transportation album may be the perfect travelling companion for moving through the streets of NYC, and this song may be the crown jewel. This has the feel of a classic New York anthem and I am crazy for it.)

20. “Obamacare” - Quelle Chris

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-F19d5PcJY

(Another year, another thought provoking Quelle Chris project. He seems to be getting better with age, is that possible?)

21. “Attics” - DJ Muggs & Eto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UmYxcv4YTs

(Sure Muggs & Eto dropped a banger of an album with Hell’s Roof, .but “Attics” has the strength to be a career defining track for Eto. This is dark poetry from the hungriest parts of upstate NY.)

22. “ZUU” - Denzel Curry

https://soundcloud.com/denzelcurryph/zuu?in=denzelcurryph/sets/zuu-3

(A rousing intro to what I would consider the best “mainstream” rap album of 2019 so far.)

23. “Chasing Ghosts” - Your Old Droog feat. Roc Marciano

https://soundcloud.com/your-old-droog/chasing-ghosts-feat-roc?in=your-old-droog/sets/it-wasnt-even-close-1

(What a great example of why these two are so good at what they do. Eerie underground hip-hop at its’ finest.)

24. “Giannis” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib feat. Anderson .Paak

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/giannis-feat-anderson-paak?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(One of the funkier standouts from Bandana, and album full of standouts. Paak and Gibbs tap dance all over this one.)

25. “18 Wheeler” - Benny feat. Pusha T

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdZC8uBwJ4Q&list=PLVipAi3U-JouPCQvz3KoH2B1VAKAZc7m4&index=6

(At this point, what else needs to be said about the potency of these two rap-writers? Calling it “coke rap” wouldn’t even begin to explain how good these two are when it comes to rapping.)

26. “Cubicle” - Buddy feat. 03 Greedo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ9Yw7i_Fo8

(What a slept-on smash from Buddy and 03 Greedo. Both artists do the West Coast proud with one of my favorite cuts off of the deluxe edition of Harlan & Alondra.)

27. “AUTOMATIC” - Denzel Curry

https://soundcloud.com/denzelcurryph/automatic?in=denzelcurryph/sets/zuu-3

(Denzel Curry and Tay Keith prove to be a potent combination on this ZUU banger.)

28. “IMG” - Nolan The Ninja

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNvRLIQHVs

(Nolan has blessed us with a number of great songs in 2019, but I think this one epitomizes just how much he has progressed as a rap artist.)

29. “Make No Issues Of It” - Jim Jones

https://soundcloud.com/jim-jones-capo/make-no-issues-of-it?in=jim-jones-capo/sets/el-capo

(Jimmy did his thing...but Heatmakerz kicks the damn door down.)

30. “Splinters” - Fly Anakin & Tuamie feat. ANKHLEJOHN & Al.Divino

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWORdUQAEcc

(Just a chilling collaboration from some of the best artists that underground hip-hop has to offer, that’s all.)

31. “Deadass” - Kemba

https://soundcloud.com/kembaland/deadass-2

(Unfortunately, in any other era this should have been a huge rap hit. Fortunately, in this era it can be praised as one of the best underground smashes of the year.)

32. “Wild Minks” - Quelle Chris feat. Mach-Hommy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dQmPX1C0Vk

(Quelle and Mach make beautiful music together, and they don’t come much more beautiful than this one.)

33. “Education” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib feat. Yasiin Bey & Black Thought

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/education-feat-yasiin-bey?in=gangstagibbs/sets/bandana-16

(As if that line-up isn’t enough to make any hip-hop head salivate, what’s even more impressive is the final product manages to meet expectations.)

34. “Dynasties” - Tedy Andreas

https://soundcloud.com/tedyandreas/dynasties-prod-graphwize

(Dope beat, dope MC and a killer hook. I can’t be the only longterm fan that Tedy earned with this one.)

35. “Flat Tummy Tea” - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

https://soundcloud.com/gangstagibbs/flat-tummy-tea

(I liked it when it first dropped, love it even more now. Freddie straight MURDERS this one...)

36. “Eedeot Bwoy” - Mach-Hommy feat. Your Old Droog & Tha God Fahim

https://soundcloud.com/mach-hommy/eedeot-bwoy-feat-tha-god-fahim?in=mach-hommy/sets/wap-konn-joj-1

(What a great year for both Mach & Droog. This joint feels like 3:00AM Wake Up Show music...and I love that!)

37. “2016” - Jamal Gasol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxEBzhV6Ar4

(True Stories is quite possibly my favorite project from Gasol’s impressive discography, and this one has been in my rotation for all of 2019 thus far. Jamal is another one of upstate New York’s gem MCs, so if you’re a fan of Benny and Griselda, definitely check out Niagara’s Jamal Gasol.)

38. “Field Negro” - Royce Da 5′9″

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yDmU881LTo

(An unorthodox production anchored by one of the best writers in the history of the genre, that’s all. Royce murders this thing with so many quotables...yet you’re still somehow sleeping on Royce???)

39. “Know The Type” - Lansky Jones feat. CJ Fly & Mr. Muthafuckin' Exquire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riRJk2QiROI

(What happens when a collection of some of NYC’s most talented, but least heralded MC’s join forces to deliver what sounds like a classic mid-90′s throwback joint? They create one of the smoothest rap songs of 2019.)

40. “Spider Hole” - Billy Woods & Kenny Segal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1WBEi5LlkI

(Beautifully bleak music from Billy Woods and Kenny Segal, who demonstrate brilliant chemistry throughout Hiding Places.)

41. “Bad Boys” - Pivot Gang (Joseph Chilliams, Saba, MFnMelo) feat. Smino

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCaBVqi4Rag

(This one didn’t blow up - at least not yet - but I have no idea why!? This track, like so much of Pivot Gang’s You Can’t Sit With Us album, is such a fantastic showcase for Chi-town’s deep hip-hop scene.)

42. “Last Supper” - Eto & DJ Muggs feat. Meyhem Lauren

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCc47fVzptU

(A dope song from a dope album, sure...but it’s that Meyhem verse that catapults this joint into the top 50 of the year through June. “I don’t have kids just clothes, cars & cribs” is easily one of the year’s best opening bars!)

43. “$ream - Rigz (Da Cloth)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piGwjW27ZRQ

(Not just one of Rochester’s finest, Rigz is quite simply one of hip-hop’s finest MC’s.)

44. “HolOnHolOn” - Fly Anakin & Tuamie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCbgGn2BXUc&list=PLAfLqY9BQJkyjUuDAEn7cehQ3DZWAZogX&index=4

(Another GORGEOUS track from Mutant Academy. Is it me or does Tuamie channel some Jay Dee-esque vibes with this one?)

45. “Jason Statham, Pt. 2” - Pivot Gang (Joseph Chilliams, Saba, MFnMelo)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy57oefUZXg

(A very dope song from a very dope album. Pivot Gang’s project deserved all of the attention that Revenge of the Dreamers received, and then some. This is Chicago all-star work.)

46. “CAROLMART” - Denzel Curry feat. Ice Billion Berg

https://soundcloud.com/denzelcurryph/carolmart-feat-ice-billion?in=denzelcurryph/sets/zuu-3

(One of the bounciest joints on a very bouncy album, here Denzel successfully harkens back to the regional style that influenced him without sounding even the slightest bit dated.)

47. “Down” - JID, Bas, J. Cole, EARTHGANG & Young Nudy (Dreamville)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibvxfN7G6Gs

(The names in this line-up were enough to keep the hype building for Revenge of the Dreamers 3. However, it’s the performance of the artists on the track that have kept it in heavy rotation over here.)

48. “207” - Your Old Droog

https://soundcloud.com/your-old-droog/207-1

(Weaving funny lyrics with poignant observations has always been one of Your Old Droog’s specialties. By tackling personal topics such as agoraphobia and his general anti-social behavior Droog is able to elevate this song to stand-out status.)

49. “Only Built For Corrilinks” - Quadry & Tuamie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZXufjWO1E4

(Travelling waaaay under the radar is Baton Rouge’s Quadry, who dropped a stellar project helmed by rising underground producer extraordinaire, Tuamie. The duo’s Emergency Raps, Vol. 5 is a quick but impressive listen.)

50. “Oaks” - BULLIES (Denmark Vessey, DrxQuinnx and Azarias)

https://fxckrxp.bandcamp.com/track/oaks

(A criminally underrated project that stands amongst this year’s finest, Denmark, Quinn & Azarias have fantastic musical chemistry that can be found all across the Bullies album. In another time and another place, Bullies would fit in well alongside Def Jux’s starting line-up.)

***Selections #51-#100***:

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/186668563851/the-best-of-the-1st-half-2019-pundits

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buttjaehyun · 5 years

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me vs. my best friend (kpop edition)

welcome to whatever this is i guess, well my nickname is nana so nice to meet y’all and since this is a post about me AND my best friend her nickname is kun so i’m just gonna refer to her as kun so just saying that now do y’all don’t get confused later

WARNING: this is an extremely long post so if you don’t want to read all of it i can’t blame you but it did take me roughly 8 hours to write this so i’d appreciate it if you read it but it’s okay if you don’t^^ also please respect our opinions and if any of you want to answer these questions in the comments or reblogs then please feel free to do so!!

so this was originally gonna be a youtube video but honestly i’m way too lazy to edit roughly 82 different music videos into 15 minutes. so i’m just gonna do it here until i get motavated enough to actually download 82 music videos and edit them down into clips. at the bottom of this is a spotify playlist of the songs i was gonna download audio/music videos for if you want to take a listen, there is one for me and one for kun ^^

so i guess i’ll start btw kun’s list took me SO LONG cause she’s also indecisive so we sat on the phone for 2 hours while she was answering these questions i swear

me (nana)

kun

both of us

1. Favorite Male Group:

- got7; im not even gonna lie those seven goof balls mean the world to both of us, like we’re seeing them on july 6th for the second year in a row, how can they top the greatest day of our lives?

- i adore all of them so much and they’ve made me the happiest i’ve ever been and i can’t believe i actually fell in love with one of them??? like it sound STUPID AF but like i deadass fell in love with mark tuan and i don’t regret it at all

- MY BOYS! honestly because of them i laugh constantly and can’t help but love them! especially yugyeom! he’s so cute i can’t! his eyes, his voice, his everything i adore him and he owns my heart from now until forever

2. Favorite Female Group:

- aoa; aoa was my first girl group besides f(x) and they have a special place in my heart but other then them i also adore twice

- red velvet; im not too into girl groups but i’m trying but so far i really enjoy red velvet and their personalities and they’re few of the girl groups i actually know the names of lol

3. Favorite Band:

- day6; we’re jyp stan’s at heart (and sm stan’s im not gonna lie) we’ve loved all of jyp’s groups and soloists thus far, honestly day6 doesn’t have a single bad song if you ask us

(dowoon owns my heart just thought you would like to know that)

(and brian owns mine whoops)

4. Favorite Underrated Boy Group:

- the boyz; they’re so cute and talented so stan them asap plz (also stan astro my bubs) okay so this one was hard for me ngl, i adore the group kun chose from the bottom of my heart but a lot of our answers are similar so i wanted to change it up

- astro; thanks to nana she dragged me into loving these goof balls and i’m so glad she did, they’re all so adorable and they have great music so stan my babies :(( sanha is the cutest babie and i love him please love my beagle boy

5. Favorite Underrated Girl Group:

- dreamcatcher; hands down one of the easiest questions for me? like idk i adore these girls and they’re great so please stan :D

- clc; MY GIRLS MY QUEENS okay so other than red velvet they’re my favorite girl group and i’m absolutely not gonna deny that

6. Favorite Rookie Boy Group:

- stray kids

so i’ve stanned stray kids since predebut, specifically when hellevator was released, YALL HAVE NO CLUE HOW HYPED I WAS im serious i didn’t shut up about these boys and i’m so glad they’re so beyond successful and i adore each and every one of them p.s stream side effects

i’ve liked stray kids since predebut but after nana’s persistence i ended up adoring the members more than anything (except yugyeom) i major stanned since january of 2018 and i’m so proud of my boys :((

7. Favorite Rookie Girl Group:

- itzy; so other than everglow it was hard for us to make a decision on this, neither of us STAN STAN many girl groups so most girl group debuts slip our minds after watching them but dalla dalla had been stuck in both of our heads for months now so that’s why we ended up choose itzy (also jyp girl group duh)

8. Favorite Disbanded Group:

- speed; okay so most people don’t know them and i am: depressed about it but it’s okay, they’re my boys and i love them, one of the members is actually zico’s older brother so oof yes talented family, they’re great and i miss them so much :(((

- history; so roughly towards the end of 2016 i saw their video just might die and queen, nana had already played me queen before and i really enjoyed the song (bop listen to it plz) and i just loved them from then on, after they announced their disbandment last year ngl it hurt cause i love them

(i could only find the audio of just might die without having to download the video so the link to the video is attached to just might die)

9. Favorite Sub Unit:

- NCT Dream; okay i’m not that person to be like Oh I oNlY stAn ThIs UnIt OF nCt no i stan all 21 members and whoever else joins from that HOWEVER all of the dreamies are really really high on my bias list so that’s why i chose them for my favorite unit (stream dnyl thanks :D) im actually listening to dnyl while writing this so love that

so i couldn’t find any gifs of nct dream ot7 so i settled for this cute gif of jisung

- WayV; i love all of nct but kun (+johnny and mark) are at the top of my nct bias list. i love take off and i love every song they’ve released so far, my boys ARE APART OF NCT (for y’all dululu fans) also stream dnyl for nana so she’ll shut up about how much she adores dream not that she’ll ever shut up about how much she loves them tbh

10. Favorite Duo:

- Jus2 + JJ Project

- again here comes the utter LOVE for jyp groups along with got7 i adore both of these duos beyond belief and i need mark to have a duo or a unit or SOMETHING cause i love him with every ounce of my being

- yugyeom. that’s it. yugyeom is the loml and there’s nothing he does where i won’t love him, focus on me hit somewhere different and i LOVE IT and HIM and of course jaebum cause he’s great too uwu i also love both of jjp and i was so exited for tomorrow, today so that helped too^^

11. Favorite Senior Group:

- infinite; so infinite. yeah i’m a HUGE inspirit and i miss hoya, sunggyu, and sungyeol like hell but it’s okay, i adore infinite im not gonna lie (to be fair i adore a lot of groups) and they mean a lot to me, out of my ults i think myungsoo has consistently stayed at the same place since 2016 as my second ultimate bias oof wow, it was also hard to choose between infinite, suju, and shinee like damn

- super junior; so i love suju? i love them more after once again thanks to nana’s persistence after black suit came out even though i was gonna listen to it away, i already loved heechul and leeteuk but dang i really love them and so does nana. but she likes too many groups to just choose one without overthinking it ALOT

12. Favorite Debut Song:

- come back again by infinite; okay so this was also a really hard one cause i love nct’s debut as well as ateez and astro but i ended up choosing come back again cause i find my self searching far and wide just to listen to this song (cause it’s not on apple music or spotify)

- pirate king by ateez; so yes i know that their debut was TECHNICALLY treasure but i love pirate king too much to not say it was my favorite debut, this song is still on constant repeat and always will be like uGH

13. Favorite Male Soloist:

- jeong sewoon; so im a big ol mush pile for all of the produce 101 s2 boys so of course sewoon would be up there with jinyoung, donghan, and SO MANY OTHER GREAT MEN, i adore his voice and the way he sings, he’s just so? great??

- dean; dean was the first kpop artist i ever listened to even without knowing he was a k-r&b artist, i love his voice, it’s so soothing and i can never stop listening to it

14. Favorite Female Soloist:

- chungha; coincidently snapping came out the day before i started writing this so yes?? queen?? but seriously i love her so much and i can’t ever contain my love for her music

- IU; she so ADORABLE? i love all of her music and i can’t believe she’s an actual human being, i seriously love her so much that it’s just uncontainable, she has one of the best voices in the kpop industry

15. Favorite Male Vocalist:

- baekhyun of exo; exo was my first group i ever got into, and they never cease to amaze me when it comes to their music. they never and i mean NEVER disappoint with their albums and bsides, as to why i chose baekhyun is simple, HIS VOICE SENDS CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE i mean so does jongdae but still

- kyungsoo of exo; i love kyungsoo and his voice and i’m going to miss him beyond belief after he leaves on july 1st :(( but seriously his voice knows no bounds and i can’t help but melt when i hear it

16. Favorite Female Vocalist:

- seola of wjsn; so i’m just saying now i don’t know much about wjsn but this girl. her vocals. yes? after her song with kihyun came out i fell in love with her vocals from then

- sunmi; i love my supportive queen, she’s great and beautiful and i love all of her music, i will never fail to bop to heroine at any time of day just because i love her that much like yes queen

17. Favorite Male Dancer:

- ten of nct; i don’t think much needs to be said as to why ten is my favorite male dancer. he is beyond anything i’ve ever seen before and has my complete respect for his passion for dancing and it makes me want to be a better dancer just so i can be proud of myself

- yugyeom of got7; oH i WonDer WhY yUgyEoM iS heRE, seriously i love his dancing more than anything and all of his freestyle clips on instragram make me have the utmost love for him beyond what i already have for him

18. Favorite Female Dancer:

- seulgi of red velvet; i’ve watched her dancing over the years and i’m never not mesmerized by her stage presence and the way she is so detailed with how she moves

- lisa of blackpink; she’s a great dancer and i will never deny that, she’s also a great rapper and her stage presence is great especially when she’s dancing (specifically taki taki)

19. Favorite Male Rapper:

- changbin of stray kids; okay so i knew from the moment i heard hellevator that this group would be big and man did they not disappoint, changbin has one of the best rapping styles and voices i’ve ever heard in my life, his speed and his lyrics are so amazing and 3racha songs are AMAZING too like wow this man and his power over me

- jooheon of monsta x; not only has joohoney wreaked my bias list but he has absolutely one of the most unique voices i’ve ever heard, his raps are so hard hitting and i can’t ever get over them, his solo work has potential to be soty because of how talented he is

20. Favorite Female Rapper:

- jessi; okay so i actually had a few female rappers in mind by it kept going back to jessi each time, i genuinely love her voice and i LIVE for her roasts like yes, also i love all of her music? like she has great music i 10/10 recommend

- yeeun of clc; i don’t know many female rappers but yeeun has been one of my favorites for awhile now and i love her voice, it’s just so great to see how much she’s improved and i’m so proud

21. Favorite Male Choreography:

- superhuman by nct 127; so honestly this was absolutely the hardest question for me, i love dancing and i love most male choreographies so idk why i came to this decision, actually i do, superhuman is honestly a wonderful dance and i love watching it each and every single time i seen it on my recommended on youtube

- highlight by seventeen; the performance unit has so much power and stage presence that it was so hard no to choose this song, they all have such great and precise movements when they dance and it’s beautiful

22. Favorite Female Choreography:

- chase me by dreamcatcher; i love this choreography so much? seriously these girls always kill it and i really want them to grow because they really deserve it

- hobgoblin by clc; this was the first female choreography i really really wanted to learn based on the dance other than russian roulette and dumb dumb by red velvet!!

23. Favorite Male Solo Song:

- fire by sik-k; i absolutely LOVE sik-k so naturally i wanted to choose one of his songs so i went though a bunch if my favorite songs of his and settled on fire, it was a very hard choice though cause addict exists and so does iffy but still

- crooked by g-dragon; crooked has always been one of my favorites by GD it just sounds so different and his voice just makes it one of my favorites, middle fingers-up is a close second for GD

24. Favorite Female Solo Song:

- why by taeyeon; idk why i love this song so much but i just do, i also love taeyeon so much like uwu yes, but seriously i really love all of taeyeons solo music as well as snsd

- honey tea by oohyo; honey tea is one of those songs you could listen to in a cafe or on a relaxing walk with your earbuds in just taking in the crisp air. it makes me feel super calm and just in a space where i feel like everything is chill and cool

25. Favorite Non-Kpop Artist:

- luhan; by baby lulu uwu, i’m absolutely a mushy gushy soft mess for that baby, he’s so cute and kinda and his music is just?? great????? what??? i seriously did not even have a second thought about this but some honorable mentions are definitely big time rush, 5sos, kris wu, joji, etc.

- conan gray; where do i bEGin?! his songs are by far some of my favorites. not only is he a great artist, he has this way with his music that is almost melancholic in sound. it sounds so entrancing and crush culture, generation why, and lookalike are some of my favorites^^

26. Favorite Non-Kpop Song:

- imitation by luhan; remember when i said i was gush for this man? i wasn’t joking. at all. i seriously love his voice and i just UGH love him, and this song?? bop.

- honey by lay; this song has taken over my life. i have it on repeat almost every night because lay did so well. it has such a good beat and so easy to just listen to over and over (but not out loud lolol)

Top 10 Groups:

nana:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Stray Kids

4. Ateez

5. Monsta X

6. Day6

7. EXO + Astro

8. Infinite

9. SF9

10. The Boyz

kun:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Day6

4. Stray Kids

5. EXO

6. Astro

7. Monsta X

8. SF9

9. Ateez

10. Seventeen

Top 10 Biases:

nana:

1. Mark Tuan (GOT7)

2. Myungsoo/L (Infinite)

3. Doyoung, Donghyuck/Haechan, Jaemin, Jaehyun, Jeno, Mark, Yuta, and Taeil (NCT)

4. San (Ateez)

5. Hyunjin, Jisung, Changbin, Felix, and Chan (Stray Kids)

6. Brian/Young K (Day6) + Youngmin (ab6ix)

7. Minhyuk (Monsta X), and Hwiyoung (SF9)

8. Chanyeol, Sehun, and Baekhyun (EXO)

9. Minhyuk/Rocky (Astro)

10. Kevin, Changmin/Q, Eric, Jacob, Sunwoo and Hwall (The Boyz)

kun:

1. Yugyeom (GOT7)

2. Dowoon (Day6)

3. Seungmin & Felix (Stray Kids)

4. Jooheon (Monsta X)

5. Rowoon (SF9)

6. Kun + Mark + Johnny (NCT)

7. Yunho + Mingi (Ateez)

8. Sanha + MJ + JinJin (Astro)

9. S.Coups (Seventeen)

10. Kyungsoo/D.O + Chanyeol (EXO)

[ nana; tumblr playlist ]

[ kun; tumblr playlist ]

btw for kun i added my favorite songs by some of the artists she had listed cause i didn’t ask her and i was too lazy so i hope y’all enjoy both playlists if you want to listen to them ^^

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my-wayward-son · 5 years

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2 months on T-------------------> 7 months on T

I’m late with this post. Again. Because I’m doing really shitty. Again.

First, let me address the obvious: yes, I’ve lost weight. (Well, if you wanna get technical, I weigh the exact same thing as when I started, which I probably shouldn’t). But beyond that, I don’t want to talk about it. That change is probably 25% due to testosterone and the tendency it has to aid in the development of lean muscle, and 75% due to other factors.

All the previous changes I’ve noted in these posts are still happening/happening more, such as still more body hair growing/thickening. There’s really nothing new to report, except that I pass better when I have on glasses and teenage boy clothes (as opposed to professional clothes), but still get a lot of gender neutral and she/her designations mixed in with the he/hims.

I had a dream last night about correcting my dad (his typical naming convention for me is Laura, I mean, Laur, she, I mean, Laur...) . So he’s trying when he’s in front of me, but it’s obvious he isn’t trying when he’s talking to my mom without me present. I’m torn between being upset about it and letting it go. My dad was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult and he struggles with shifting his perspective. This is something else I don’t want to talk about, but just know that my far-from-NT-yet-decidedly-allistic ass has a hard time reconciling it.

But anyhow, the transition is going great, and I have no reason to be upset about anything, but I’m upset about everything, and the rest is going under the cut because it’s going to be full of triggers (suicide and ED stuff).

For my whole life I never understood why anyone would want one of those dolls that you can customize to look exactly like you. My thought was always, ‘what’s so special about me? I kind of suck.’ I thought so little of myself and my live, even as a little kid, that I would rather pick the princess or the American Girl or whatever with the most interesting story and change myself to match. Like I’d beg my mom for an outfit the same color as the character’s, or wear sunglasses with the lenses popped out, or only style my hair the same way as the character in order to adapt into that character.

Of course all those phases were just that, phases. They were highly tied to the media I consumed, and as I aged, that media changed. So I was always editing myself to match my current obsession. I never gave thought to what I was actually like, deep inside. Like it didn’t matter what my actual personality was. I hardly even thought about it until the end of high school, and then a series of traumas knocked me down a few pegs, and that sense of self didn’t come back to the surface until mid 2017.

In mid 2017, I went to a 2-week dance convention. At that time I was living as female, had basically given up on the idea of transitioning, and was just trying to push through as a painfully shy 24-year-old who worked full time and danced part time with a local ballet company. At the convention, I studied various styles of dance, realized I was extremely untrained in every field but ballet, and spent the entire thing on the verge of tears because I was with students over 10 years my junior in most of the classes. It was an “all ages” program, but literally all the other adults were in professional level classes for all styles. I was only in the professional level class for ballet. I couldn’t wait for the convention to end. I hated every second of it. I had a chronic foot injury that made dancing painful (but not dangerous), but I’d always pushed through it because I loved it. Now I could barely stand to go to class, even back with my regular company. So I made arrangements to retire.

I retired from professional dance in May 2018 and had foot surgery in June 2018. I could dance again, if I wanted to, but I’m not ready yet. Eventually I might go back as a recreational adult dancer, just taking class from time to time. But I don’t know.

I still love ballet, but as of a year ago, ballet was the one thing hanging over me that I hated. I hated the obligation; I hated the way it tore up my body; I hated the way it made me exhausted and ate up all my spare time. However, I was damn productive. I wrote so many fics and drew so many pictures, and I went to therapy at least every other week, and sometimes to PT. I was at the studio approximately 20 hours a week, on top of working 40 hours a week. But I guess I was so busy and tied to my obligations that I quite literally couldn’t fall apart.

My uncle died (suicide, marking the 4th attempt and 2nd success in my family) and my granddad died (heart condition), so I had good reason to fall apart. I was freaked out and sad for a while, but I was also fine. I was a robot. When I look back, I realize that the last time I was happy was prior to the 4th of July 2017. I call that the “Wonder Woman Moment.” I did a photo shoot for a ballet personal training/nutrition service that dressed me up in WW-esque dancewear. We blasted Patty Smythe and had a ball. Even though it was a really feminine thing, it was so much fun, and I had no worries. It was July 1st 2017. Before my uncle died, and before my granddad died and before I went to the dance convention. That’s my last happy memory.

After unpacking some acute issues with grief and anxiety, my therapist started talking to me about my issues with gender ID. By November 2017 I was thinking about transitioning (I had thought about it before, but never felt it was feasible). By December, I’d decided it felt right. I sought out a doctor in January 2018 and had my first appointment in February. I told my mom on Superbowl Sunday. Then a month later at my Oscar party, she basically washed her hands of me.

I love film crit and the Academy Awards almost as much as I love fanfiction and ballet and coffee and all the other good things. I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for the 2019 noms to drop. I know a few of them just from the grapevine, but I haven’t looked them up yet. I’m still working from my early prediction spreadsheet, even though the actual noms are just a few clicks away. I’m scared of the feelings that’s going to bring up.

One year ago, all I could think about was getting through the next 6 months and reaching a series of milestones: my company’s production of Alice in Wonderland. Moving to a new apartment. My company’s production of Water for Chocolate (an original contemporary ballet choreographed on me and 14 other dancers). Starting testosterone. Retiring from ballet. Foot surgery. I thought my life would be so much better.

And in a way, it is. I have the confidence to do random shit, like walk into Autozone and talk to the workers about what is wrong with my car, then help them fix it. A year ago, I would have panic attacks over things like that. But a year ago, my mom loved me. A year ago, I thought I’d have my current job forever. A year ago, I thought once I got on T, my eating disorder behaviors would go away.

I’ve gained personal confidence, but lost so much else. Lost my family. Gained a new one, but still, I lost my relationship with my biological mother and father. Lost my job satisfaction, which makes me worry that at some point I will have to interview for a new job and integrate with a new company, which is frightening in the extreme. T has changed my body shape in the way I like, but it’s not magic. I’m still afraid of eating, and stress doesn’t help. I’ve also had health complications that add pressure and make me feel run down. Some is my own damn fault (Hi, I’m Laur and I abuse OTC medications like a rebellious teenager, which is apparently not advisable when also on several prescriptions). Some is a fluke. But feeling like shit while also mentally feeling like shit has destroyed me. I hate my life. I hate everything. I don’t see the value in anything.

I know there’s a Spider-Man: Far from Home trailer out there. I haven’t seen it. I don’t know what to expect. I want to see it. But I also don’t want time to move forward. I like the MCU as it is (I like it pre-Infinity War, actually, but nobody asked me, so I won’t belabor you with my opinion).

And that’s a good metaphor for my life right now. It’s a mess. I can’t picture anything far in the future, so the light from my proverbial headlights is dim and dull. I’m afraid of moving forward, so my tires are spinning in place, kicking up mud and dust. I’m incapable of shifting side to side, so when I do roll ahead a few inches, I hit every obstacle in the path. If I just changed the lightbulbs, twiddled the steering wheel, took a breath and let myself move, I’d probably be fine. But somehow that seems like the most impossible choice.

I could slam the car into one of the cave walls, triggering a rockslide and killing myself. If I did that, I know it would hurt a lot of people in my life, but it would also fulfill all of my hopes and dreams. Peace. Calmness. Stillness. Not having to deal with a world that insists on moving forward with the passage of time.

The most compelling reason is that I can’t find a reason not to. I wish I was an undergraduate student again, because I want to get a degree in philosophy. I don’t know why living is so highly valued. I can’t figure out what makes this “will to live” the correct way of thinking and the desire to die the wrong way of thinking. Right and wrong are subjective. They don’t exist, really. There is not value behind things and thoughts and actions. They just are. What’s to say that a lack of serotonin or whatever in a depressed brain is really not normal? The non-depressed brain may have an excess. Normal is relative. Averages don’t mean correct. Just because most people in the class chose answer B doesn’t mean that it is the right answer to the question. Just because most Americans are a little overweight doesn’t mean that that’s the healthiest body type.

Sometimes I really want to try to get well and forge ahead and get my life together. Sometimes I want to say fuck it and take all the pills in the house and lay down and drift away. I can’t decide which is better because neither is better, they both are just choices. I can’t use other people’s reasoning to back up either one, for they are slanted for reasons I cannot understand. They have a bias toward life. I have to choose what I really want most, and I just don’t know. I truly don’t. My wants and desires-the deep ones in the core of my being- have been so long ignored, given up for what a character would do, or what my mom would do, that as an adult, I hardly know how to access the decision-making skills that most children have already mastered. I’m a fucking goldfish; when I’m upset, I’m only upset, and I’ve always been upset. When I’m happy, I’m only happy and I’ve always been happy. I don’t know how to take a step back and see both at the same time. I can’t hold contradictory truths at once. I’m not wise. I’m set up to fail because there are cracks in my foundation.

As long as I continue to not decide, I don’t take action. I’m stuck in a holding pattern of “I don’t know,” and “what’s going to get me through the next 5 minutes,” and “just fuck it all, it doesn’t matter.”

I’ve never, ever, in my life imagined myself as an elderly person. I’ve thought of myself as a middle-aged adult, but never past 40 or so. Sometimes I see myself as a woman, sometimes as a man, sometimes an NB person. But that’s not what matters. I don’t see myself living to old age. Mortality is comfort. The fact that this life doesn’t go on forever is one thing that honestly makes it seem ok to keep living. But by definition, it also makes it seem like a good choice to die when things go wrong. Because I will in the end.

I see my life as a project, and I’ve always had this dilemma with projects: if I make a mistake, what point is too ruined to salvage? What factors make it more worthwhile to backtrack and fix the mistakes vs. just throwing it away. Fixing the mistakes shoes dedication and perseverance, but it’s frustrating. Hot. Angry. Uncomfortable. Embarrassing to show youthful ineptitude to the world. Throwing it away is quick. Easy. Zen. Brings immediate cool relief with grace and style. But it’s selfish. So fucking selfish.

If you’ve read this far, please proceed to pour water into your ears and shake vigorously. This was not meant to be imprinted on your brain. This is for me to sort out my thoughts, which are, and shall always be, unable to be ordered.

#laur talks #trans #suicide tw #mental health tw #philosophy #death tw #family issues #eating disorders tw #ed tw #maybe do not read below the cut

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your-dietician · 3 years

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2021 MBAs To Watch: Christina Gohl, IE Business School

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/business/2021-mbas-to-watch-christina-gohl-ie-business-school/

2021 MBAs To Watch: Christina Gohl, IE Business School

“I’m a results-oriented, people-oriented, ex-scientist turned business development professional who loves skiing in the Rockies.”

Hometown: Vancouver, BC

Fun fact about yourself: I met my husband on an airplane!

Undergraduate School and Degree: University of Alberta, Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology

Where was the last place you worked before enrolling in business school? Santevia Water Systems, Role: Director of Sales

Where did you intern during the summer of 2020? There’s no summer break in a one-year MBA – we go 11 months straight – so nowhere!

Where will you be working after graduation? Great question! One-year MBAs are a unique breed, so given that I don’t graduate until the end of July I haven’t accepted an offer yet.

Community Work and Leadership Roles in Business School:

Awards:

Forte Fellowship

Community Work and Leadership Roles

IE Consulting Club Leadership Team. Role: Vice President

The club had slipped in the IE club rankings (a measure of value and effectiveness). I identified the need for a turnaround. I led and implemented a strategy and vision building process with the leadership team which included setting simple but powerful key metrics to measure success. In four weeks, we increased the club’s score by over 100 points, moving from 4th to 1st place.

IE Ambassador – Women4Women Program

Women continue to be underrepresented in MBA programs and through IE’s Women4Women program I aim to change that. Once paired with a prospective female student, I developed a connection and then we explored their needs and goals. My aim is to reduce anxiety by answering their questions but also to act as an advisor. Together we find the right fit, both for them and for IE.

Mentor

Junior profiles in my network have asked for mentorship from me in three areas: sales/business development, team management, and networking. I am currently working with a Masters in Management student to advance his networking skills with a goal to increase his chance of success in consulting applications.

Which academic or extracurricular achievement are you most proud of during business school? Being published in IE’s Finance Talks. I’m a sales and marketing profile with a Bachelor in Science, so while I’m right at home in data analysis, all the finance I know I learned in a boardroom. As a result, when I came to business school I expected to struggle amongst peers with significantly more experience. I had been following the Game Stop short squeeze in the news, so when it came time to pick a topic for my Financial Markets final paper, GME seemed both interesting and relevant. I’m a good writer, but by no means a financial expert. As a result, I was shocked when my professor reached out saying that not only had I gotten 100% on the paper, but that he wanted to publish it. Since then, it has been reprinted in IE’s student newspaper at the request of the IE Investment Club and I got a 4.0 in Financial Markets to boot.

What achievement are you most proud of in your professional career? I always hit sales targets. This started in my first role as a Management Trainee at Enterprise, where I was in the top 1% of sales people province-wide every month I worked there. When I moved to Santevia, I repeated the same pattern. The business was young when I joined, so we had aggressive growth targets: double digits every year. I never missed an annual target. As the business grew, so did my level of responsibility and the size of my team. This meant hitting sales targets was now a function of my ability to lead and motivate 75 others instead of a result of my own direct work. This was a learning curve for me, but a challenge where I excelled. My team never missed an annual sales target in my 7-year tenure at the company.

Why did you choose this business school? I had progressed to the senior leadership team at Santevia and I remember sitting at the boardroom table realizing that while I understood the sales vertical very well, I couldn’t always predict with accuracy the impact my sales strategies would have on other areas of the business. I was a highly competent middle manager, but I needed to up-skill to become an executive. I came to IE Business School to improve my business strategy skills. For me, IE was the right choice because the institution is very forward looking.

The world had just undergone the quickest technical adoption I’ve seen in my lifetime as a result of COVID. Businesses are thus demanding technology savvy, entrepreneurial thinkers now more than ever before. This is IE’s specialty. At this school, I’m building an exam automation start-up called Examind and in two weeks I start a business challenge helping SMEs implement technology accelerators with Microsoft. Without the support and guidance of the professors and administrators at IE, I would never have dreamed of these accomplishments and opportunities.

What was your favorite MBA event or tradition at your business school?

COVID has affected almost every event or tradition this year. However, one thing that it did not change was the value of diversity at IE. IE ensures that every MBA class hails from all over the globe (our class has 70 different nationalities). While this prompts truly interesting class discussions, it also challenges us to question norms. Sometimes it’s simple things: yesterday, I learned that Italians break a candle from their birthday cake to make a wish instead of doing it when they blow out the candles. And sometimes it’s big, such as how working with multicultural teams presents both challenges and opportunities. Learning to do this well is a skill that I will take with me and I sincerely believe will set me up for success in a world that becomes more diverse by the day. The fact that IE not only understands the value of diverse teams but also has implemented recruiting practices that make it a reality is a testament to their belief in the power of diversity.

Looking back over your MBA experience, what is the one thing you’d do differently and why? I would have focused less on the job hunt in my first semester. The one-year MBA is short, so there is pressure throughout to consider what’s next. While there is a definite benefit in being clear on your next steps and strategy to get there, I struggled with the transition from a career in Canada to academia in Spain. I think I could have been a little easier on myself in those first months and allowed myself more space to make the transition.

What is the biggest myth about your school? You’ll learn a ton of Spanish while you’re here. While it is possible to learn Spanish (and IE provides us ample opportunity), the reality is that you spend most of your time immersed in English. In addition, the demands of a one-year MBA mean that it’s difficult to find time to practice. As such, I’ve found my language skills progressing more slowly than I’d like.

What is one thing you did during the application process that gave you an edge at the school you chose? I focused my time on what I was world-class at. I had to make a choice mid-application: spend more time devoted to studying and re-writing the GMAT to score in the upper ranks of the quant section or focus on my strengths (strong interpersonal skills that allow me to interview well and strong writing skills to write great entrance essays). I decided to do the latter and it paid off: I got into every school I applied to, with generous scholarships.

Which MBA classmate do you most admire? Luis Fernando Marcos Yepes. Luis is a part of my workgroup (an assigned group with which we do all our group projects for core academic classes). The people in your workgroup are always a bit of a gamble. Will we have similar goals? How do our workstyles differ? Coming together as a team is an art and it can be incredibly difficult. Specifically, at the end of a semester, when a mountain of projects are due, the stress increases and groups tend to struggle, our group included. However, Luis never backed away from hard work or difficult conversations. Not only was he a high performer — excelling at and taking the lead in finance projects as a result of his background as an auditor at EY — he also never shied away from the difficult times. His consistency and dependability was something I really counted on in the midst of some stressful days in the MBA. On top of that, he has been very conscious about growing his team leadership skills. He had natural people skills that he has refined in just a few months into persuasion and motivation abilities. He is constantly seeking out advice and feedback to improve as a leader and I truly admire his growth mindset.

How disruptive was it to shift to an online or hybrid environment after COVID hit? Very smooth. A key reason I chose IE Business School was because of the thought they had put into the post-COVID class experience. IE is the only top business school (to my knowledge) that maintained an in-class experience throughout the entirety of my degree (September 2020 start). This came with some restrictions (mask wearing, class size reductions, COVID tests) but the limitations were far outweighed by the benefit of an in-class experience. My classmates and I frequently discuss how fortunate we are to have benefitted from IE’s planning and dedication to preserving our in-class experience.

Who most influenced your decision to pursue business in college? I didn’t pursue business in college (my undergrad), but pursuing my MBA has been a dream of mine since 25. However the push to do it, at 30, came from my mother. She came from a blue collar family in Ontario and was the only one of her four siblings who graduated from university. She pursued her Master’s degree as a single mother when I was young and now she is a successful business owner. She always instilled in me the power of hard work and perseverance. She also taught me that unlike material things, education is something that always stays with you. She showed me the value of investing in yourself.

What are the top two items on your professional bucket list?

I want to be in a position to significantly impact the availability of senior leadership roles for women.

I want to own my own business.

What made Christina such an invaluable addition to the Class of 2021?

“My subject is sometimes completely new for the students. In addition, it is very quantitative and full of very specific terms typical of the financial world. So, it is very easy that, at some point in class, communication is “lost”. The truth is that the lack of interaction with the students, causes a certain feeling of helplessness in myself as a teacher. Precisely when I was having the worst time, Christina began her interventions in class, summarizing difficult topics out loud, giving them her own interpretation, obviously much more within the reach of the rest of the classmates. Through her words, concepts were clarified for the rest. And so, it was throughout the course. I found in Christina a total, unique support that made me feel more comfortable when teaching. That’s because I knew that in a natural way, her intervention would allow us to adequately complete the topic, “round it up”. After more than thirty years teaching, on very few occasions I have had such special students and Christina has undoubtedly been one of them.

In the evaluation process of my subject, it is necessary to present an individual work on a topic associated. I suggest some and the students are free to choose another as long as it has to do with the subject. Christina surprised me again by choosing a current issue, related to the behavior of the GameStop stock. She brilliantly described the functioning of “securities lending” and the establishment of short positions in the market, posing unavoidable questions about the concept of market efficiency and the possible gaps in regulation in a world where the importance of social networks is increasing. I think it has been one of the best-written articles I have read on a current topic. When I finished reading it, I felt that I had something very special on my hands. For this reason, and with the approval of the IMBA management, her article was published on a blog of the Institute. The person in charge defined it as a Top Tier item.

In conclusion, Christina has been an exemplary contributor to the course, she has shown passion towards a subject that was completely new to her and not only has she obtained the highest possible grade with an incredible final work but has left an indelible mark on an old professor who is no longer used to seeing so much talent and humanity.”

Rodrigo Manero IE Business School Professor

DON’T MISS: THE FULL LIST OF MBAS TO WATCH IN 2021

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simple-ponderings · 5 years

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July 1st, 2019 11:09AM

I remenber walking through the big mall at rochdale. I was going to get some food.

I ended up getting roast pork and rice. I was loud about it. Like I just went in and used my voice to order instead of waiting to be noticed like I usually do.

I think I got a message from Kevin asking me to go to some concert that was considered brutal? Like some type of slam metal concert. I was hesistant af to go.

I remember walking through a parking lot/playground. I think I met up with my sister who also wanted chinese food.

I started ordering in mandarin. This was my 3rd time eating it apparently.

We were waiting. Then it was like...I saw a church van and we rushed to get to it.

"I bet theres no space,"

"Lets see anyway,"

We got on and there was lots of space. Niesha was trying to hog up the seats.

"See shes always trying to hog everything,"

Paul was there. Strangely enough my aunt was there. They were asking if I wanted to go to Long Island.

"No, just take us home" I said firmly. More firmly than I meant to.

Then my sister and I were walking in some place. It looked like the path lined with trees as you reached the playground area of 72.

There was some guy trying to follow us. He was fucking weird. And I dismissed him as a crackhead.

"Stop following us and get away from us!!"

Instead if walking away, I ended up fighting him. I wanted to hurt him. To teach him a lesson.

We didnt run away until he took his penis out and started peeing on us.

We screamed and ran towards the parking lot/playground.

The crackhead suddenly turned into a well dressed gangster. Then another guy with slicked back hair dressed in a grey suit demanded silence across the whole parking lot.

He wanted to find out who hit the other dude. My sister froze, I continued walking.

He wasnt anyone special, why should I give him authority?

He let out an amused chuckle and singled me out.

"You....

You think you can just do what you want without any repercussions?! What about the people you love!?"

A threat.

I remember then....running to the lightrail.

I saw the well dressed crackhead sitting, legs spread out, texting on his phone. Miraculously my mom was sitting next to him.

I was filled with seething rage. My soul was set ablaze with the intent of protecting my mother.

Yet I still wouldnt yield to their will.

I sat right between the guy and my mom.

The boss came back, a smug grin on his face.

Trains were coming and going.

My mom suddenly got the memo and was afraid for me.

They ended up sending her off to go get gatorade.

We started talking about a deal.

I would not yield. An image flashed before my eyes. It was clouds of purple and yellow, and in the center, light.

Warm, protective light.

I knew I needed to remember it, and stick with it.

I knew everything was going to be ok.

For my punishment, the boss had me recite the technicalities of the light rail.

It seemed he had a passion for it. And I suddenly saw him in a different way.

He was no nonsense...but underneath that he wanted to help people. This path was the only way he knew how I suppose.

We were then in a room discussing the difference between a psychopath and a gangster.

I was slurping on a slushie.

"Psychopaths truly feel no compassion towards another...They are void,"

I cant seem to remember the rest of the conversation.

#dream journal #text #the longest one yet

0 notes

captainlenfan · 5 years

Text

FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic

Click to see full descriptionOFFER ONLY FOR THE 1ST 20 CLIENTS IN FEBRUARYHURRY!!!Buy 1 Get 1 FREE! ..."The Offer To Kill Off The Competition And Make You MONEY!..." FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic ..."The ONLY Genuine Opportunity On EBay"...Buy 1 Site And Get 1 FREETop Rated EBay SellerStart Earning TODAY!Max. 2 Hour Support ResponseNO Hidden Costs - EVER!Go Into Business With Me And Get A 2nd BusinessThis is an AUTO-RUNNING fully stocked website from which you will earn commissions purely for being a MIDDLE-MAN - No stock to buy...No strings attachedHost Your Site With Me And Within 7 Days I GUARANTEE Google Page 1 ResultsTotally FREE OF CHARGE This offer Alone Is Worth $3,000 "...Did You Know AMAZON Pay Out MILLIONS In Commissions Every Year To Owners of Automated Websites Just Like These?..." This is the final piece of the puzzle - How to get traffic to your sites, and how to get to the top of Google quickly. NO OTHER EBay business can offer this, becaue the copy-cats will never work out just how I do this. Host your site with me (Trump Hosting), and I will get you onto the first page of Google within 7 days of delivering your sites. I will do it for ONE site and then give you the COPY/PASTE steps to do it for your 2nd - No serets held back, just go through 2019 knowing that you really have found THE GAME CHANGER. When you know how to dominate Google in under 24 hours you are not just a PLAYER in the game, you OWN the game. Just think how valuable just this knowledge alone is going to be to you - Take a look at the results for yourself. One of my own products, which makes me over $93.50 per sale sitting on PAGE 1 of Google less than 15 HOURS after I hit the button. If you have followed my success over the years then you will know one thing - this is A GAME CHANGER! This offer is limited to the first 30 clients this month. "...All You Need Is A Wordpress Site - A FREE Amazon Affiliate Account - And A Bank Account To Receive Your Monthly commissions...""...This is NOT Get Rich Quick - It Is Possibly The Most GENUINE Opportunity To Earn Passive Income Online You Will Ever Know Without Having To Take Your Clothes Off!!!... ...And What Is Even Better Is That If You Buy This Site You Can Choose ANY Other And Get It FREE OF CHARGE!" FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic A Work From Home Business With No Stock To Pay For - The Website Updates All Stock Levels And Prices Automatically. ..."Look At The Following Sample Sites - My Work Is WORLD-CLASS..." Bike Shop - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 3rd December 2017. "...See VERIFIED Income Proof Below?..."EARNINGS IN JANUAY 2019$355.49 PROFIT In Her Second Month!Herbal Site - Delivered To A Client In France - 11th August 2017.EARNINGS IN DECEMBER 2018$1658.94 PROFIT In His Fourth Month!CCTV Site - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 17th September 2017.EARNINGS IN FEBRUARY 2018$2377.86 PROFIT In His Sixth Month!Hair Extension Site - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 2nd June 2018EARNINGS IN JAUARY 2019$3309.63 PROFIT In Her Eigth Month!Male Grooming Site - Delivered To A Client In The US - 22nd May 2017.EARNINGS IN MARCH 2018$6109.29 PROFIT In His Tenth Month! ..."You Can Buy A Site Cheaper On EBay Because Some Sellers Think Cheap Is The Way To Go - BUT......" ..."Feedbacks Left Since July 20th 2018...CHECK THEM YOURSELF..."Hi, my name is Anna and in 2009 my husband (Chris, pictured at the top) and I found ourselves in desparate need of a way to replace BOTH of our salaries after being made redundant after the property crash in the UK. After trying everything from Network Marketing, to importing Chinese rubbish and trying to sell it on for a profit, we were on the edge of giving up hope and accepting 'dead-end' jobs that would keep us stuck in the rat-race for years. And then in late 2012, I read about Amazon affiliate marketing on an Internet blog, aimed at people who were looking for ways to get out of the rut. Without much hesitation we both agreed that for the tiny investment it was worth a shot, as neither of us wanted to go back to 'work' for a living. It took us 9 weeks of study before we made our first £50 online, and then continued to make a small amount for another 4 months...And then something happened that literally changed our World. While on holiday in France, we got talking to a young 22 year old young guy from Rochdale who was living the good life in a Penthouse overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean sea. You could have knocked us down with a feather when he told us that what was funding his financially independent lifestyle, was the EXACT same Amazon affiliate business that had been making us no more than £150 a month from home. He made no excuses when he went on to 'brag' about the fact that he was making SIX FIGURES a year totally 'hands-'off' using a system he had perfected to SKY-ROCKET his earnings...and he had been making that amount since the age of 19! After agreeing a 50-50 profit split we entered into a 6 month long training period with Matt (mostly via email), where he revealed to us a system that was so ridiculously simple that half way through we could have kicked ourselves for not 'catching on' a long time earlier. Still, we had agreed to stick to the 50-50 split for the 6months and so we kept our heads down and just watched in awe as our monthly commission cheques just got bigger and bigger. That was back in 2013, and since then we have gone on and further improved what he taught us, adding 1 killer secret which even he had not picked up on. In essence, we now also generate over £100,000 a year and have followed his 'lifestyle choice' of spending 6 months in the sun, albeit it further South in Europe! What you see here is possibly the only way you may ever come across to wipe out your debt and start 2018 in a much better place. Here's What You Get - When you buy this website I will pay for a domain name for you. I will register it in your own name so that you have full legal ownership, and I will then create you a 100% UNIQUELY DESIGNED wesbite. I will then open you a FREE Amazon Affiliate Account, and using the Amazon codes that I will get from your account, I will fill your website with over £25,000 worth of stock - GUARANTEED! The stock will be supplied by officially authorised Amazon Suppliers. When a client comes to your site and buys a product you DO NOTHING...The relevant officially authorised Amazon Supplier will process the order (as well as the payment), deal with 100% of the customer service and despatch the goods to the client. At the end of each 30 day period Amazon will PAY YOU between 4% and 8% of EVERYTHING SOLD on the site. How much does this equate to? Let's just say that equates to enough money to allow us to spend 6 months working from a South West facing terfface overlooking the Mediterrean Sea, on the Costa Blanca!!!No computer or website knowledge is needed to run this business. In 2009 I sarted a journey to find a way to work from home, due to personal reasons. Back then we knew nothing about designing a website, and due to advances in modern technology we STILL don't know how to write HTML code. BUT...We have perfected a way to work the hours we want, from anywhere we want which pays us a SIX FIGURE sum every year. And this is your opportunity to copy our success - Thanks to Matt, and a lot of hard work on our part, we have a BLUEPRINT for making money that is now as GOOD AS IT GETS!Here's EVERYTHING You Need To Know - All The Questions I Would Ask If I Were YOUHow You Earn £$Your Site NameOrder ProcessOn-Going CostsSkills Required?How Long To Go Live?Google TrafficFREE 2nd SiteAdsense ReadyJoin The BestRefundsWant To Sell It On?Work In A Garden Shed!READ THIS!!!Can I Have A US Site?Adding Products300 Hits A DayHow You Earn £$Your Site NameOrder ProcessOn-Going CostsSkills Required?How Long To Go Live?Google TrafficFREE 2nd SiteAdsense ReadyJoin The BestRefundsWant To Sell It On?Work In A Garden Shed!READ THIS!!!Can I Have A US Site?Adding Products300 Hits A DayMaking Money All you need to earn an income from this business is a FREE Amazon Associates account. If you do not have one then we will open one for you as part of our service. Thereafter, from the minute your site goes live you will earn between 4% and 8% of everything that sells, depending on your level of sales in the relevant 30 day period. You will be amazed at how quickly this income builds as your site remains OPEN FOR BUSINESS 24/7, 365 days a year! Domain Name Is FREE The cost of your domain name is included in the price you pay. You will be the legal owner of the site, and in 12 months time you will be able renew the domain name at a very small cost (approx. £10 per anum). When Somebody Buys From Your Website When a client places an order you do NOTHING. The approved Amazon supplier will handle the order from start to finish, and everything from product depstach, through to customer service will be handled without you being involved in any way - this is a 100% HANDS-OFF way to make money. One TINY Monthly Cost There is only 1 on-going cost - and that is for the hosting of your website business. From UNDER £6 a month you can be making THOUSANDS A MONTH in a relatively short time. There are no tie-ins or contracts, because I am so confident that you will CHOOSE to stay with me for a long time to come, such are the financial returns from this business. If you host Annually then you only pay for 8 months and get 4 months FREE (referred to in the listing header). *Hosting is non-refundable once the sites go live...Please ONLY buy this website if you accept that you will need to use my hosting service...It works out at just 20p a day to have full 7 day week support ZERO Technical Skills Needed If you can't turn a computer on and login to your email then this may not be for you, because you will have to know how to login to your Amazon account and check your commissions etc. But as for updating the site NOTHING IS REQUIRED by you. If you have any knowledge of HTML or website design then it will make NO DIFFERENCE, because you don't need it. Less Than 24 Hours To Being LIVE! That's my price promise - No matter what time of the day you order, even if it is on a weekend - I GUARANTEE to have you ready to make money within 24 hours of your order! Get Into Google Within 72 Hours Having a website is just the start - After years of crafting my trade I now know how to get brand new sites INDEXED in Google within 72 hours - and being indexed is the ONLY way to get Organic traffic. So, if you're in a hurry to make money then I am the ONLY person on EBay who can do this! Also, as soon as you approve the finished sites by mutually swapping feedback I will get the Google page 1 result system triggered (mentioned at the top of the listing). FREE SECOND SITE Why own ONE business when you can have TWO for the same price? Staying ahead of the curve and offering a service which nobody online can surpass is what I aim to do - and that is why I am offering you a STAGGERING opportunity to get THIS SITE plus any other site in my EBay store ABSOLUTELY FREE - Call it a permanent BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! Earn Money Purely From CLICKS My sites are 100% Adsense ready, and having Adsense means that your visitors can make you money even if they buy NOTHING - A simple click on a Google ad on your site can earn you money. If you have an existing Google Adsense account, I'll even add it to this site for you! I Am Officially One Of EBay's BEST! It matters who you do business with, and you cannot enter into a safer transaction than with someone who has proven themselves HUNDREDS of times before - This is TOTALLY RISK FREE for you! 30 Day TOTAL Satisfaction GUARANTEE Only the best sellers on EBay can offer a NO-QUIBBLE full money back guarantee. It is my genuine opinion that the chances of you asking for a refund are 1 out of 1000. This is a MONEY MAKING opportunity - why would ANYONE ask for a refund it if 'did what it said on the tin'...WHICH THIS DOES! Make £$500-£$1000 In 2 Months... I do 95% of my business on a site not connected to EBay, where I sell my sites for between £500 and £1000 - The only 'Caveat' is that a site needs to be 'searchable' in Google before you can do this. I will show you how to get this site indexed within 72 hours, and I will then show you where to FLIP the site ('Flip'means to sell it for INSTANT PROFITS) for at least ten times the price you pay here. Work ANYWHERE - Just Log In!!! There actually is no 'work' as such, all you ever need to do is log into your Amazon or Adsense accounts and see what you have made. One day it may be $£5, another it may be $£500...DOES IT MATTER if it's running on auto? This is NOT Get Rich Quick It took us a few years to perfect this system, if you do NOTHING to promote your site then on pure auto do not expect more than £150 a month from it. £150 a month WILL NOT get you rich. We will show you what to do to MASSIVELY maximise what you earn. It's simple, it's fast and it's profitable!!! Of Course! We have many hundreds of clients, and from all over the World. If you are US based then the site will be built for the US market. Products will be shipped from within the US and all products will be priced in US$. Got Your Own Products? The site will come with tens of thousands of pounds worth of stock already on it, ready to be shipped by Amazon. But if you want to add your own products to the site then you can - Very easily. I have even installed PayPal so that clients can pay instantly for your products. When you buy I will send you a .pdf which will show you how I generate around 300 visitors a day to every new site I launch - It is easy to do, and works - every time. All you have to do is foloow the A-B-C instructions. This is what I refer to in the listing above - a simple way to get into a very lucrative business. I'm a paragraph. Simply double click here to add your own text and edit me. It's easy. Describe your product. Mention details and specifications that you believe are relevant to your buyers.100% GUARANTEED! FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic See our other itemsThese Are Not Just Good Money Makers, They Are The BEST You can Get FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic I AM THE MOST TRUSTED WEBSITE BUSINESS SELLER ON EBAY - BUY WITH TOTAL CONFIDENCE FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic 100%NO FAIL GUARANTEE! ..."Never Before Have I Offered This NO FAIL Guarantee..."..."Start Today - If You Have An Interest In The Product Then Why Not Make Money At The Same Time..."Note to EBay - 2 ROYALTY FREE images (from Pexels) have been used in this listing, in accordance with the instructions given to me by EBay in our officially recorded chat reference SR# 1-139529513637 - December 10th 2017Hi, my name is Anna and in 2009 my husband and I found ourselves in desparate need of a way to replace BOTH of our salaries after being made redundant after the property crash in the UK. After trying everything from Network Marketing, to importing Chinese rubbish and trying to sell it on for a profit, we were on the edge of giving up hope and accepting 'dead-end' jobs that would keep us stuck in the rat-race for years. And then in late 2012, I read about Amazon affiliate marketing on an Internet blog, aimed at people who were looking for ways to get out of the rut. Without much hesitation we both agreed that for the tiny investment it was worth a shot, as neither of us wanted to go back to 'work' for a living. It took us 9 weeks of study before we made our first £50 online, and then continued to make a small amount for another 4 months...And then something happened that literally changed our World. While on holiday in France, we got talking to a young 22 year old young guy from Rochdale who was living the good life in a Penthouse overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean sea. You could have knocked us down with a feather when he told us that what was funding his financially independent lifestyle, was the EXACT same Amazon affiliate business that had been making us no more than £150 a month from home. He made no excuses when he went on to 'brag' about the fact that he was making SIX FIGURES a year totally 'hands-'off' using a system he had perfected to SKY-ROCKET his earnings...and he had been making that amount since the age of 19! After agreeing a 50-50 profit split we entered into a 6 month long training period with Matt (mostly via email), where he revealed to us a system that was so ridiculously simple that half way through we could have kicked ourselves for not 'catching on' a long time earlier. Still, we had agreed to stick to the 50-50 split for the 6months and so we kept our heads down and just watched in awe as our monthly commission cheques just got bigger and bigger. That was back in 2013, and since then we have gone on and further improved what he taught us, adding 1 killer secret which even he had not picked up on. In essence, we now also generate over £100,000 a year and have followed his 'lifestyle choice' of spending 6 months in the sun, albeit it further South in Europe! What you see here is possibly the only way you may ever come across to wipe out your debt and start 2018 in a much better place. Here's What You Get - When you buy this website I will pay for a domain name for you. I will register it in your own name so that you have full legal ownership, and I will then create you a 100% UNIQUELY DESIGNED wesbite. I will then open you a FREE Amazon Affiliate Account, and using the Amazon codes that I will get from your account, I will fill your website with over £25,000 worth of stock - GUARANTEED! The stock will be supplied by officially authorised Amazon Suppliers. When a client comes to your site and buys a product you DO NOTHING...The relevant officially authorised Amazon Supplier will process the order (as well as the payment), deal with 100% of the customer service and despatch the goods to the client. At the end of each 30 day period Amazon will PAY YOU between 4% and 8% of EVERYTHING SOLD on the site. How much does this equate to? Let's just say that equates to enough money to allow us to spend 6 months working from a South West facing terfface overlooking the Mediterrean Sea, on the Costa Blanca!!! No computer or website knowledge is needed to run this business. In 2009 I sarted a journey to find a way to work from home, due to personal reasons. Back then we knew nothing about designing a website, and due to advances in modern technology we STILL don't know how to write HTML code. BUT...We have perfected a way to work the hours we want, from anywhere we want which pays us a SIX FIGURE sum every year. And this is your opportunity to copy our success - Thanks to Matt, and a lot of hard work on our part, we have a BLUEPRINT for making money that is now as GOOD AS IT GETS! How You Earn £$ Making Money All you need to earn an income from this business is a FREE Amazon Associates account. If you do not have one then we will open one for you as part of our service. Thereafter, from the minute your site goes live you will earn between 4% and 8% of everything that sells, depending on your level of sales in the relevant 30 day period. You will be amazed at how quickly this income builds as your site remains OPEN FOR BUSINESS 24/7, 365 days a year! Your Site Name Domain Name Is FREE The cost of your domain name is included in the price you pay. You will be the legal owner of the site, and in 12 months time you will be able renew the domain name at a very small cost (approx. £10 per anum). Order Process When Somebody Buys From Your Website When a client places an order you do NOTHING. The approved Amazon supplier will handle the order from start to finish, and everything from product depstach, through to customer service will be handled without you being involved in any way - this is a 100% HANDS-OFF way to make money. On-Going Costs One TINY Monthly Cost There is only 1 on-going cost - and that is for the hosting of your website business. From just £6 a month you can be making THOUSANDS A MONTH in a relatively short time. There are no tie-ins or contracts, because I am so confident that you will CHOOSE to stay with me for a long time to come, such are the financial returns from this business. If you host Annually then you only pay for 8 months and get 4 months FREE (referred to in the listing header). *Hosting is non-refundable once the sites go live... Skills Required? ZERO Technical Skills Needed If you can't turn a computer on and login to your email then this may not be for you, because you will have to know how to login to your Amazon account and check your commissions etc. But as for updating the site NOTHING IS REQUIRED by you. If you have any knowledge of HTML or website design then it will make NO DIFFERENCE, because you don't need it. How Long To Go Live? Less Than 24 Hours To Being LIVE! That's my price promise - No matter what time of the day you order, even if it is on a weekend - I GUARANTEE to have you ready to make money within 24 hours of your order! Google Traffic Get Into Google Within 72 Hours Having a website is just the start - After years of crafting my trade I now know how to get brand new sites INDEXED in Google within 72 hours - and being indexed is the ONLY way to get Organic traffic. So, if you're in a hurry to make money then I am the ONLY person on EBay who can do this! FREE 2nd Site FREE SECOND SITE Why own ONE business when you can have TWO for the same price? Staying ahead of the curve and offering a service which nobody online can surpass is what I aim to do - and that is why I am offering you a STAGGERING opportunity to get THIS SITE plus any other site in my EBay store ABSOLUTELY FREE - Call it a permanent BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! Adsense Ready Earn Money Purely From CLICKS My sites are 100% Adsense ready, and having Adsense means that your visitors can make you money even if they buy NOTHING - A simple click on a Google ad on your site can earn you money. If you have an existing Google Adsense account, I'll even add it to this site for you! Join The Best I Am Officially One Of EBay's BEST! It matters who you do business with, and you cannot enter into a safer transaction than with someone who has proven themselves HUNDREDS of times before - This is TOTALLY RISK FREE for you! Refunds 30 Day TOTAL Satisfaction GUARANTEE Only the best sellers on EBay can offer a NO-QUIBBLE full money back guarantee. It is my genuine opinion that the chances of you asking for a refund are 1 out of 1000. This is a MONEY MAKING opportunity - why would ANYONE ask for a refund it if 'did what it said on the tin'...WHICH THIS DOES! Want To Sell It On? Make £$500-£$1000 In 2 Months... I do 95% of my business on a site not connected to EBay, where I sell my sites for between £500 and £1000 - The only 'Caveat' is that a site needs to be 'searchable' in Google before you can do this. I will show you how to get this site indexed within 72 hours, and I will then show you where to FLIP the site ('Flip'means to sell it for INSTANT PROFITS) for at least ten times the price you pay here. Work In A Garden Shed! Work ANYWHERE - Just Log In!!! There actually is no 'work' as such, all you ever need to do is log into your Amazon or Adsense accounts and see what you have made. One day it may be $£5, another it may be $£500...DOES IT MATTER if it's running on auto? READ THIS!!! This is NOT Get Rich Quick It took us a few years to perfect this system, if you do NOTHING to promote your site then on pure auto do not expect more than £150 a month from it. £150 a month WILL NOT get you rich. We will show you what to do to MASSIVELY maximise what you earn. It's simple, it's fast and it's profitable!!! Can I Have A US Site? Of Course! We have many hundreds of clients, and from all over the World. If you are US based then the site will be built for the US market. Products will be shipped from within the US and all products will be priced in US$. Adding Products Got Your Own Products? The site will come with tens of thousands of pounds worth of stock already on it, ready to be shipped by Amazon. But if you want to add your own products to the site then you can - Very easily. I have even installed PayPal so that clients can pay instantly for your products. OFFER ONLY FOR THE 1ST 20 CLIENTS IN FEBRUARYHURRY!!!Buy 1 Get 1 FREE! ..."The Offer To Kill Off The Competition And Make You MONEY!..." FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic ..."The ONLY Genuine Opportunity On EBay"...Buy 1 Site And Get 1 FREETop Rated EBay SellerNO Hidden Costs - EVER!Start Earning TODAY!This is an AUTO-RUNNING fully stocked website from which you will earn commissions purely for being a MIDDLE-MAN - No stock to buy...No strings attachedGo Into Business With Me And Get A 2nd BusinessTotally FREE OF CHARGE "...See VERIFIED Income Proof Below?..."Host Your Site With Me And Within 7 Days I GUARANTEE Google Page 1 ResultsThis offer Alone Is Worth $3,000 This is the final piece of the puzzle - How to get traffic to your sites, and how to get to the top of Google quickly. NO OTHER EBay business can offer this, becaue the copy-cats will never work out just how I do this. Host your site with me (Trump Hosting), and I will get you onto the first page of Google within 7 days of delivering your sites. I will do it for ONE site and then give you the COPY/PASTE steps to do it for your 2nd - No serets held back, just go through 2019 knowing that you really have found THE GAME CHANGER. When you know how to dominate Google in under 24 hours you are not just a PLAYER in the game, you OWN the game. Just think how valuable just this knowledge alone is going to be to you - Take a look at the results for yourself. One of my own products, which makes me over $93.50 per sale sitting on PAGE 1 of Google less than 15 HOURS after I hit the button. If you have followed my success over the years then you will know one thing - this is A GAME CHANGER! This offer is limited to the first 30 clients this month. "...Did You Know AMAZON Pay Out MILLIONS In Commissions Every Year To Owners of Automated Websites Just Like These?..." "...All You Need Is A Wordpress Site - A FREE Amazon Affiliate Account - And A Bank Account To Receive Your Monthly commissions...""...This is NOT Get Rich Quick - It Is Possibly The Most GENUINE Opportunity To Earn Passive Income Online You Will Ever Know Without Having To Take Your Clothes Off!!!... ...And What Is Even Better Is That If You Buy This Site You Can Choose ANY Other And Get It FREE OF CHARGE!"A Work From Home Business With No Stock To Pay For - The Website Updates All Stock Levels And Prices Automatically. ..."Look At The Following Sample Sites - My Work Is WORLD-CLASS..." Bike Shop - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 3rd December 2017.EARNINGS IN JANUAY 2019$355.49 PROFIT In Her Second Month!Herbal Site - Delivered To A Client In France - 11th August 2017.EARNINGS IN DECEMBER 2018$1658.94 PROFIT In His Fourth Month!CCTV Site - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 17th September 2017.EARNINGS IN FEBRUARY 2018$2377.86 PROFIT In His Sixth Month!Hair Extension Site - Delivered To A Client In The UK - 2nd June 2018EARNINGS IN JAUARY 2019$3309.63 PROFIT In Her Eigth Month!Male Grooming Site - Delivered To A Client In The US - 22nd May 2017.EARNINGS IN MARCH 2018$6109.29 PROFIT In His Tenth Month! ..."You Can Buy A Site Cheaper On EBay Because Some Sellers Think Cheap Is The Way To Go - BUT......" ..."Feedbacks Left Since July 20th 2018...CHECK THEM YOURSELF..." Without much hesitation we both agreed that for the tiny investment it was worth a shot, as neither of us wanted to go back to 'work' for a living. It took us 9 weeks of study before we made our first £50 online, and then continued to make a small amount for another 4 months...And then something happened that literally changed our World. While on holiday in France, we got talking to a young 22 year old young guy from Rochdale who was living the good life in a Penthouse overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean sea. You could have knocked us down with a feather when he told us that what was funding his financially independent lifestyle, was the EXACT same Amazon affiliate business that had been making us no more than £150 a month from home. He made no excuses when he went on to 'brag' about the fact that he was making SIX FIGURES a year totally 'hands-'off' using a system he had perfected to SKY-ROCKET his earnings...and he had been making that amount since the age of 19! After agreeing a 50-50 profit split we entered into a 6 month long training period with Matt (mostly via email), where he revealed to us a system that was so ridiculously simple that half way through we could have kicked ourselves for not 'catching on' a long time earlier. Still, we had agreed to stick to the 50-50 split for the 6months and so we kept our heads down and just watched in awe as our monthly commission cheques just got bigger and bigger. Hi, my name is Anna and in 2009 my husband (Chris, pictured at the top) and I found ourselves in desparate need of a way to replace BOTH of our salaries after being made redundant after the property crash in the UK. After trying everything from Network Marketing, to importing Chinese rubbish and trying to sell it on for a profit, we were on the edge of giving up hope and accepting 'dead-end' jobs that would keep us stuck in the rat-race for years. And then in late 2012, I read about Amazon affiliate marketing on an Internet blog, aimed at people who were looking for ways to get out of the rut.That was back in 2013, and since then we have gone on and further improved what he taught us, adding 1 killer secret which even he had not picked up on. In essence, we now also generate over £100,000 a year and have followed his 'lifestyle choice' of spending 6 months in the sun, albeit it further South in Europe! What you see here is possibly the only way you may ever come across to wipe out your debt and start 2018 in a much better place. Here's What You Get - When you buy this website I will pay for a domain name for you. I will register it in your own name so that you have full legal ownership, and I will then create you a 100% UNIQUELY DESIGNED wesbite. I will then open you a FREE Amazon Affiliate Account, and using the Amazon codes that I will get from your account, I will fill your website with over £25,000 worth of stock - GUARANTEED! The stock will be supplied by officially authorised Amazon Suppliers. When a client comes to your site and buys a product you DO NOTHING...The relevant officially authorised Amazon Supplier will process the order (as well as the payment), deal with 100% of the customer service and despatch the goods to the client. At the end of each 30 day period Amazon will PAY YOU between 4% and 8% of EVERYTHING SOLD on the site. How much does this equate to? Let's just say that equates to enough money to allow us to spend 6 months working from a South West facing terfface overlooking the Mediterrean Sea, on the Costa Blanca!!!No computer or website knowledge is needed to run this business. In 2009 I sarted a journey to find a way to work from home, due to personal reasons. Back then we knew nothing about designing a website, and due to advances in modern technology we STILL don't know how to write HTML code. BUT...We have perfected a way to work the hours we want, from anywhere we want which pays us a SIX FIGURE sum every year. And this is your opportunity to copy our success - Thanks to Matt, and a lot of hard work on our part, we have a BLUEPRINT for making money that is now as GOOD AS IT GETS!I AM THE MOST TRUSTED WEBSITE BUSINESS SELLER ON EBAY - BUY WITH TOTAL CONFIDENCE FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic Here's EVERYTHING You Need To Know - All The Questions I Would Ask If I Were YOUHow You Earn £$Making Money All you need to earn an income from this business is a FREE Amazon Associates account. If you do not have one then we will open one for you as part of our service. Thereafter, from the minute your site goes live you will earn between 4% and 8% of everything that sells, depending on your level of sales in the relevant 30 day period. You will be amazed at how quickly this income builds as your site remains OPEN FOR BUSINESS 24/7, 365 days a year!Your Site Name Domain Name Is FREE The cost of your domain name is included in the price you pay. You will be the legal owner of the site, and in 12 months time you will be able renew the domain name at a very small cost (approx. £10 per anum).Order Process When Somebody Buys From Your Website When a client places an order you do NOTHING. The approved Amazon supplier will handle the order from start to finish, and everything from product depstach, through to customer service will be handled without you being involved in any way - this is a 100% HANDS-OFF way to make money.On-Going Costs One TINY Monthly Cost There is only 1 on-going cost - and that is for the hosting of your website business. From UNDER £6 a month you can be making THOUSANDS A MONTH in a relatively short time. There are no tie-ins or contracts, because I am so confident that you will CHOOSE to stay with me for a long time to come, such are the financial returns from this business. If you host Annually then you only pay for 8 months and get 4 months FREE (referred to in the listing header). *Hosting is non-refundable once the sites go live...Please ONLY buy this website if you accept that you will need to use my hosting service...It works out at just 20p a day to have full 7 day week supportSkills Required? ZERO Technical Skills Needed If you can't turn a computer on and login to your email then this may not be for you, because you will have to know how to login to your Amazon account and check your commissions etc. But as for updating the site NOTHING IS REQUIRED by you. If you have any knowledge of HTML or website design then it will make NO DIFFERENCE, because you don't need it.How Long To Go Live? Less Than 24 Hours To Being LIVE! That's my price promise - No matter what time of the day you order, even if it is on a weekend - I GUARANTEE to have you ready to make money within 24 hours of your order!Google Traffic Get Into Google Within 72 Hours Having a website is just the start - After years of crafting my trade I now know how to get brand new sites INDEXED in Google within 72 hours - and being indexed is the ONLY way to get Organic traffic. So, if you're in a hurry to make money then I am the ONLY person on EBay who can do this! Also, as soon as you approve the finished sites by mutually swapping feedback I will get the Google page 1 result system triggered (mentioned at the top of the listing). FREE 2nd Site FREE SECOND SITE Why own ONE business when you can have TWO for the same price? Staying ahead of the curve and offering a service which nobody online can surpass is what I aim to do - and that is why I am offering you a STAGGERING opportunity to get THIS SITE plus any other site in my EBay store ABSOLUTELY FREE - Call it a permanent BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!Adsense Ready Earn Money Purely From CLICKS My sites are 100% Adsense ready, and having Adsense means that your visitors can make you money even if they buy NOTHING - A simple click on a Google ad on your site can earn you money. If you have an existing Google Adsense account, I'll even add it to this site for you!Join The Best I Am Officially One Of EBay's BEST! It matters who you do business with, and you cannot enter into a safer transaction than with someone who has proven themselves HUNDREDS of times before - This is TOTALLY RISK FREE for you!Refunds 30 Day TOTAL Satisfaction GUARANTEE Only the best sellers on EBay can offer a NO-QUIBBLE full money back guarantee. It is my genuine opinion that the chances of you asking for a refund are 1 out of 1000. This is a MONEY MAKING opportunity - why would ANYONE ask for a refund it if 'did what it said on the tin'...WHICH THIS DOES! Want To Sell It On? Make £$500-£$1000 In 2 Months... I do 95% of my business on a site not connected to EBay, where I sell my sites for between £500 and £1000 - The only 'Caveat' is that a site needs to be 'searchable' in Google before you can do this. I will show you how to get this site indexed within 72 hours, and I will then show you where to FLIP the site ('Flip'means to sell it for INSTANT PROFITS) for at least ten times the price you pay here.Work In A Garden Shed! Work ANYWHERE - Just Log In!!! There actually is no 'work' as such, all you ever need to do is log into your Amazon or Adsense accounts and see what you have made. One day it may be $£5, another it may be $£500...DOES IT MATTER if it's running on auto?READ THIS!!! This is NOT Get Rich Quick It took us a few years to perfect this system, if you do NOTHING to promote your site then on pure auto do not expect more than £150 a month from it. £150 a month WILL NOT get you rich. We will show you what to do to MASSIVELY maximise what you earn. It's simple, it's fast and it's profitable!!!Can I Have A US Site? Of Course! We have many hundreds of clients, and from all over the World. If you are US based then the site will be built for the US market. Products will be shipped from within the US and all products will be priced in US$.Adding Products Got Your Own Products? The site will come with tens of thousands of pounds worth of stock already on it, ready to be shipped by Amazon. But if you want to add your own products to the site then you can - Very easily. I have even installed PayPal so that clients can pay instantly for your products.300 Hits A Day When you buy I will send you a .pdf which will show you how I generate around 300 visitors a day to every new site I launch - It is easy to do, and works - every time. All you have to do is foloow the A-B-C instructions. This is what I refer to in the listing above - a simple way to get into a very lucrative business. I'm a paragraph. Simply double click here to add your own text and edit me. It's easy. Describe your product. Mention details and specifications that you believe are relevant to your buyers.100% GUARANTEED! FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic See our other items FULLY STOCKED MOTORBIKE GEAR WEBSITE Business|FREE Domain|Hosting|Traffic Click to see full description..."Start Today - If You Have An Interest In The Product Then Why Not Make Money At The Same Time..."Note to EBay - 2 ROYALTY FREE images (from Pexels) have been used in this listing, in accordance with the instructions given to me by EBay in our officially recorded chat reference SR# 1-139529513637 - December 10th 2017 Hi, my name is Anna and in 2009 my husband and I found ourselves in desparate need of a way to replace BOTH of our salaries after being made redundant after the property crash in the UK. After trying everything from Network Marketing, to importing Chinese rubbish and trying to sell it on for a profit, we were on the edge of giving up hope and accepting 'dead-end' jobs that would keep us stuck in the rat-race for years. And then in late 2012, I read about Amazon affiliate marketing on an Internet blog, aimed at people who were looking for ways to get out of the rut. Without much hesitation we both agreed that for the tiny investment it was worth a shot, as neither of us wanted to go back to 'work' for a living. It took us 9 weeks of study before we made our first £50 online, and then continued to make a small amount for another 4 months...And then something happened that literally changed our World. While on holiday in France, we got talking to a young 22 year old young guy from Rochdale who was living the good life in a Penthouse overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean sea. You could have knocked us down with a feather when he told us that what was funding his financially independent lifestyle, was the EXACT same Amazon affiliate business that had been making us no more than £150 a month from home. He made no excuses when he went on to 'brag' about the fact that he was making SIX FIGURES a year totally 'hands-'off' using a system he had perfected to SKY-ROCKET his earnings...and he had been making that amount since the age of 19! After agreeing a 50-50 profit split we entered into a 6 month long training period with Matt (mostly via email), where he revealed to us a system that was so ridiculously simple that half way through we could have kicked ourselves for not 'catching on' a long time earlier. Still, we had agreed to stick to the 50-50 split for the 6months and so we kept our heads down and just watched in awe as our monthly commission cheques just got bigger and bigger. That was back in 2013, and since then we have gone on and further improved what he taught us, adding 1 killer secret which even he had not picked up on. In essence, we now also generate over £100,000 a year and have followed his 'lifestyle choice' of spending 6 months in the sun, albeit it further South in Europe! What you see here is possibly the only way you may ever come across to wipe out your debt and start 2018 in a much better place. Here's What You Get - When you buy this website I will pay for a domain name for you. I will register it in your own name so that you have full legal ownership, and I will then create you a 100% UNIQUELY DESIGNED wesbite. I will then open you a FREE Amazon Affiliate Account, and using the Amazon codes that I will get from your account, I will fill your website with over £25,000 worth of stock - GUARANTEED! The stock will be supplied by officially authorised Amazon Suppliers. When a client comes to your site and buys a product you DO NOTHING...The relevant officially authorised Amazon Supplier will process the order (as well as the payment), deal with 100% of the customer service and despatch the goods to the client. At the end of each 30 day period Amazon will PAY YOU between 4% and 8% of EVERYTHING SOLD on the site. How much does this equate to? Let's just say that equates to enough money to allow us to spend 6 months working from a South West facing terfface overlooking the Mediterrean Sea, on the Costa Blanca!!! No computer or website knowledge is needed to run this business. In 2009 I sarted a journey to find a way to work from home, due to personal reasons. Back then we knew nothing about designing a website, and due to advances in modern technology we STILL don't know how to write HTML code. BUT...We have perfected a way to work the hours we want, from anywhere we want which pays us a SIX FIGURE sum every year. And this is your opportunity to copy our success - Thanks to Matt, and a lot of hard work on our part, we have a BLUEPRINT for making money that is now as GOOD AS IT GETS! How You Earn £$ Making Money All you need to earn an income from this business is a FREE Amazon Associates account. If you do not have one then we will open one for you as part of our service. Thereafter, from the minute your site goes live you will earn between 4% and 8% of everything that sells, depending on your level of sales in the relevant 30 day period. You will be amazed at how quickly this income builds as your site remains OPEN FOR BUSINESS 24/7, 365 days a year! Your Site Name Domain Name Is FREE The cost of your domain name is included in the price you pay. You will be the legal owner of the site, and in 12 months time you will be able renew the domain name at a very small cost (approx. £10 per anum). Order Process When Somebody Buys From Your Website When a client places an order you do NOTHING. The approved Amazon supplier will handle the order from start to finish, and everything from product depstach, through to customer service will be handled without you being involved in any way - this is a 100% HANDS-OFF way to make money. On-Going Costs One TINY Monthly Cost There is only 1 on-going cost - and that is for the hosting of your website business. From just £6 a month you can be making THOUSANDS A MONTH in a relatively short time. There are no tie-ins or contracts, because I am so confident that you will CHOOSE to stay with me for a long time to come, such are the financial returns from this business. If you host Annually then you only pay for 8 months and get 4 months FREE (referred to in the listing header). *Hosting is non-refundable once the sites go live... Skills Required? ZERO Technical Skills Needed If you can't turn a computer on and login to your email then this may not be for you, because you will have to know how to login to your Amazon account and check your commissions etc. But as for updating the site NOTHING IS REQUIRED by you. If you have any knowledge of HTML or website design then it will make NO DIFFERENCE, because you don't need it. How Long To Go Live? Less Than 24 Hours To Being LIVE! That's my price promise - No matter what time of the day you order, even if it is on a weekend - I GUARANTEE to have you ready to make money within 24 hours of your order! Google Traffic Get Into Google Within 72 Hours Having a website is just the start - After years of crafting my trade I now know how to get brand new sites INDEXED in Google within 72 hours - and being indexed is the ONLY way to get Organic traffic. So, if you're in a hurry to make money then I am the ONLY person on EBay who can do this! FREE 2nd Site FREE SECOND SITE Why own ONE business when you can have TWO for the same price? Staying ahead of the curve and offering a service which nobody online can surpass is what I aim to do - and that is why I am offering you a STAGGERING opportunity to get THIS SITE plus any other site in my EBay store ABSOLUTELY FREE - Call it a permanent BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! Adsense Ready Earn Money Purely From CLICKS My sites are 100% Adsense ready, and having Adsense means that your visitors can make you money even if they buy NOTHING - A simple click on a Google ad on your site can earn you money. If you have an existing Google Adsense account, I'll even add it to this site for you! Join The Best I Am Officially One Of EBay's BEST! It matters who you do business with, and you cannot enter into a safer transaction than with someone who has proven themselves HUNDREDS of times before - This is TOTALLY RISK FREE for you! Refunds 30 Day TOTAL Satisfaction GUARANTEE Only the best sellers on EBay can offer a NO-QUIBBLE full money back guarantee. It is my genuine opinion that the chances of you asking for a refund are 1 out of 1000. This is a MONEY MAKING opportunity - why would ANYONE ask for a refund it if 'did what it said on the tin'...WHICH THIS DOES! Want To Sell It On? Make £$500-£$1000 In 2 Months... I do 95% of my business on a site not connected to EBay, where I sell my sites for between £500 and £1000 - The only 'Caveat' is that a site needs to be 'searchable' in Google before you can do this. I will show you how to get this site indexed within 72 hours, and I will then show you where to FLIP the site ('Flip'means to sell it for INSTANT PROFITS) for at least ten times the price you pay here. Work In A Garden Shed! Work ANYWHERE - Just Log In!!! There actually is no 'work' as such, all you ever need to do is log into your Amazon or Adsense accounts and see what you have made. One day it may be $£5, another it may be $£500...DOES IT MATTER if it's running on auto? READ THIS!!! This is NOT Get Rich Quick It took us a few years to perfect this system, if you do NOTHING to promote your site then on pure auto do not expect more than £150 a month from it. £150 a month WILL NOT get you rich. We will show you what to do to MASSIVELY maximise what you earn. It's simple, it's fast and it's profitable!!! Can I Have A US Site? Of Course! We have many hundreds of clients, and from all over the World. If you are US based then the site will be built for the US market. Products will be shipped from within the US and all products will be priced in US$. Adding Products Got Your Own Products? The site will come with tens of thousands of pounds worth of stock already on it, ready to be shipped by Amazon. But if you want to add your own products to the site then you can - Very easily. I have even installed PayPal so that clients can pay instantly for your products. 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